#my bf is a 7 so it’s easier now

[sunlightmurdock]

here’s the spectrum if u will:

pursuit: “sit on my face” - he asks u almost 4/7 days of the week.

caesfire: “sit on my face pls” (bc he has manners)

parent trap: both, depends on his mood & ur mood for sure. prob more of the sit on his face bc he’s usually tired & it’s easier that way for him

sub rosa: he is the true middle. either way he just wants to be in between ur legs.

mfiy: now this one is tough, i think pre baby he def pinned u down (& wasn’t that good at it lol) & afterwards he’s grown to appreciate having baby seresin sit on his face (to shut him up) (he said it as a joke one time & she actually did it which stunned him)

professor: pins u down but i think he’d also kinda be into having her sit on his face, it’s the 80s tho so idk if that’s a thing yet lol

firefighter: pins u down (occasionally asks u to sit on his face but it’s always w/ a joke abt riding his stache 😭)

older bf: pins u down (but after taking u out on a super nice date)

tip: pins u down

bbb: pins u down (ur not getting up anytime soon)

safe zone: pins u down so hard that it’s almost scary with the grip he has on u

omg omg omg I think this came from inside my brain, this is incredible + so so so accurate. MFIY Brad not being good at eating pussy is too real 😭😭😭

[j4y-stardustt]

So deep in 3d and a deppresive eppisode right now. Nothing brings me back out of it. I can't snap out of it anymore.

I think of c0mitting everyday, everyday the urge gets bigger and bigger. And I don't think I'll be able to resist

My parents life is hard bc of me. My irl friends hang out with their friends or bfs. I'm never a first choice.

It would be sm easier if I just left. I am mentally not here anymore. Im just living atm. Living for nothing. I don't want to do anything fun. Nothings fun anymore. I'm so deeply unhappy. I so badly wanne go.

I don't get meds. I can't get cured. All me and ny parents do is fight, while I'm trying so hard. I'm trying so hard to be a good child for them. I'm trying so hard to mask my problems.

My mum asks me 4 times before a fight, if I'm happy and if I wanne life. When I say yes she just says "no u dont". Like good u notice. Why yell at me than. Just to tell me u love me again. I'm so numb. I just wanne use substances 24/7. Hopefully I'll manage to get some soon and overdo it so badly I just go. I need peace. I need them people to understand I wanne go so bad. I want peace so badly, that'll be my way of peace. When does it get beter?

#deppresion #tw ed but not sheeran #st4rv1ng #tw ed implied #ana recipe #3d f4sting #tw b/p #ana moots #lax abuse #live laugh love #low cal restriction #prging #im going to kms #i want to kms #kms

[webslingingslasher]

https://www.tumblr.com/webslingingslasher/743629403190378496/uh-hi-me-and-my-bf-just-got-into-a-huge-fight-and

thank you :(

i have an update. he apologised for getting so mad about it but we still didn’t agree. he asked what the plan was, like ‘do you want to use condoms for the rest of our lives bc that’s just a waste’ which could be a fair point but we haven’t even been together for that long so it doesn’t really apply.

we ended up arguing again bc he said they’re only really for non-serious/temporary relationships or if you’re sleeping around. he said bc he’s not getting w anyone else theres no reason not to go on birth control, and said i ‘clearly don’t have the same long term plans with him that he does with me’ like ? just bc i don’t wanna risk anxiety/depression, i’m once again the bad girlfriend like i’m so tired of it. i was upset when i sent u the ask but im just fed up now. it turned into a whole thing ab our future like just bf he wants to hit it raw my morals are being questioned lol

idk i feel like im making a big deal out of it tho. like he’s not sleeping around, that’s clear, so i probably should agree because i know it’s the norm rn (from the people i know and such). idk like i know it probably feels better without it, but i didn’t think it’d be such a dealbreaker for him to keep arguing about it like damn. boys are so sensitive i swear.

my fictional bfs wouldn’t treat me this way and that’s what im reminding myself of rn

thanks for your reassurance btw💗 i needed to hear that all

1: your boyfriend is manipulating you.

2: your boyfriend is putting his pleasure above your mental health and needs.

3: the length of a relationship has zero correlation to the type of birth control used.

4: you are showing him that you will give into what he wants because “it’s easier.”

5: you have a bad boyfriend.

6: see point one.

7: see point five

8: see point one and five.

#this makes me feel very upset. it sounds like you’re young OP- don’t waste your time on this person #thanks anon!

[3raaaachachacha]

7:03 pm

Nishimura Riki x female reader / 628 words / angst / fluff

Warnings: breaking down from missing your bf

⊱ ──────────────────────── ⊰

It had been so long since you last saw Niki. You swore two comebacks had come and gone, yet you still hadn’t seen your boyfriend. It was like you were dating a virtual boyfriend on your phone instead of an actually real life person. It made you sad, and even think of breaking up with him. It would be easier on you in the end, but you loved him. Your heart was at a crossroad, not wanting to, but if this continued, you would have to.

Your phone vibrated, signalling you were getting a call from your boyfriend, “Hi love! How are you?” Niki exclaimed happily over the phone.

You smiled to yourself from his sweet voice, “Hi babe, I’m doing good. Just tired today,” You sighed not wanting to fake your emotions, “I miss you, a lot,” You teared up a bit.

“Hey, Y/N, don’t cry please! I’m sorry I’ve been away so long, you know I’ve been insanely busy. We are talking about getting some time off now. Just hold on a bit longer for me please,” He pleaded kindly as you wanted to, but you suddenly couldn’t stop your tears.

“I just am getting tired of never seeing my boyfriend. I know you are busy and I know what I signed up for, but I miss you. I miss seeing your face, I miss hugging you. I miss you Niki,” You cried as you tried your best to calm yourself.

“Babe, I need you to calm down and trust me, okay?” He said over the line as you heard the a knock at your apartment door, turning your attention towards it.

“Hold on, I need to answer the door real fast,” You told him as you set your phone down and took a deep breath, not wanting a stranger to see you crying.

You wiped your tears before opening the door to see your boyfriend standing there with a suitcase. You ran towards him as you wrapped your arms around him, wanting to cry again as this felt too good to be true. Niki tightly wrapped his arms around you as he lifted you off the ground slightly before placing a small kiss onto you your head.

“I told you to hold on just a bit longer for me,” He smiled down at you as you lightly smacked his chest, beginning to cry, “Come here. Don’t cry love, I’m here now with you. I have all week off too, and I’m all yours!”

“Yeah! Why couldn’t you have started with that! Making me all emotional and cry, how rude of my boyfriend,” You sniffled as Niki chuckled at your teasing comment. He moved the two of your into your apartment before shutting the door.

He moved you to sit down on the couch as he grabbed a few tissues to wipe your tears away, “No more tears, I only want to see that beautiful smile of yours. I don’t care what we do, but I’m here with you and only you!” He moved a piece of hair behind your ear.

You nodded your head as you pouted slightly, “Gosh, you’re so cute. Don’t make me feel bad babe, I already have take out on the way for us. It’s your favorite too,” He chimed, making you smile finally.

“Thank you for surprising me like this. I’m sorry I ever doubted you and thought of such bad ideas,” You leaned into his side as he wrapped his arm around you.

“I'm sorry for being so busy. I’ll do better about taking breaks and seeing you whenever I can, I promise,” He smiled down at you as you happily sighed. This was the best surprise you could get, and it was all thanks to your amazing boyfriend.

⊱ ──────────────────────── ⊰

- Admin 🦋

#enhypen #nishimura riki #enhypen nishimura riki #enhypen niki #kwritersworldnet #enhypen masterlist #enhypen timestamps #enhypen imagines #enhypen oneshots #enhypen reactions #enhypen blurbs #enhypen fluff #enhypen drabbles #enhypen scenarios #enhypen angst #enhypen riki #lee heeseung #yang jungwon #park jongseong #park sunghoon #sim jaeyun #kim sunoo

[fka-aj]

ISO BOY ADVICE

Ill try to explain this without too much extra bs.

So 3 years ago i met a guy from Grindr and we were attempting to do a fwb during COVID to limit interactions with others. It was ok initially but i found him insanely attractive and became increasingly anxious bc i couldn’t fathom someone that hot being interested in me. So much so that i had a very embarrassing panic attack mid-penetration. He actually handled it really well and we agreed to stay friends after.

So now we’ve been friends for 3 years and have def gotten closer. In this time he started dating a guy, but they recently broke up. I liked his bf and it was almost a nice block bc it was easier for me not to have feelings knowing he was in a committed relationship with a good guy.

I always struggled with having sexual and romantic and platonic feelings for him. He’s been an amazing friend and positive influence on my life, but now that he’s single again it’s hard not to think about being more than friends with him.

I feel like he’s not into me that way anymore, but it’s harder for me to be around him without being flirty. I really like him as a friend and would hate to jeopardize that, but it’s just so hard for me not to want to act. I feel like it’s unrealistic (we share the same name and have 7 yrs between us), but i can’t tell whether i need to just come clean and risk losing him or just work on mitigating these feelings to remain friends. We talk often but we haven’t spoke in a bit bc I’ve been so eaten up about this.

#boys #boy advice #gay dating #dating advice

[rxin3akamallory]

Howdy!

(I am Taiga Aisaka irl lol)

I finally decided to make an intro on this account because it’s inconsistent as hell even though it’s my main one.

But yeah hello!

I’m Mallory (people call me Mal a lot) I’m a goofy ahh autistic 21 year old

She/Her are my preferred pronouns, but I’m okay with They/Them as well if it’s easier for you to use.

I’m biromantic/asexual

I’m not in college but I’ve been working for nearly a year now! It takes up half of my time but I’m still free decently often.

I like to draw, write, make OCs and self inserts, play video games, sing and listen to music. I sometimes post my art and characters occasionally but not often on here. (I should tho)

This is my main tumblr where I used to post strictly Finding Nemo related posts but my fixation had faded out since 2021 (I still love the movie and it’s sequel but it hasn’t been my main interest anymore)

Here are my other tumblrs if they’re interesting enough to take a look at.

Second tumblr: @rxin3srandomthoughts

Meme tumblr: @rxin3smemes

Aesthetic tumblr (kinda defunct now): @rxin3saesthetics

Stim tumblr (the one I use most often besides my main): @rxin3stims

I have a large DNI list on my stim tumblr, but I’ll put a general one here too. It’s also in my bio:

DNI if:

A nsfw/k!nk blog

Racist

Homophobic

Transphobic

Ablelist

And a personal one, if you romanticize serial k!ll3rs or sh00t3rs. Big on the latter because of personal trauma and because that monster has been romanticized here before and on other platforms on the internet and I find it not only disturbing and horrifying but also disrespectful to the victims, their families, and the survivors.

If you fit under any of this criteria, you will immediately be blocked.

A lot of my content is OC related, so here is a list of ‘em!!

Self Inserts (1)

Self Inserts (2)

Self Inserts (3)

Moodboards: 1, 2, 3

Self Insertmas 2023: Day 1, Day 2, Day 3, Day 4, Day 5, Day 6, Day 7, Day 8, Day 9, Day 10, Day 11, Day 12, Day 13, Day 14, Day 15, Day 16, Day 17, Day 18, Day 19, Day 20, Day 21, Day 22, Day 23

Self Insert Birthday Countdown 2024: Day 1, Day 2, Day 3, Day 4, Day 5, Day 6, Day 7, Day 8, Day 9, Day 10, Day 11, Day 12, Day 13, Day 14, Day 15, Day 16, Day 17, Day 18, Day 19, Day 20, Day 21, Day 22, Day 23, Day 24

I also have a lot of special interests and fixations! Here’s a “small” list of a majority of them to get to know me:

Non film/tv:

Tennessee (Gatlinburg/Pigeon Forge specifically!) Literally my comfort place. I love when I get to visit sm!!)

OneRepublic (My favorite band!)

Littlest Pet Shop

Bunnies!

Film:

Wreck-It Ralph (only the first film)

Frozen (mainly only the first film)

Big Hero 6 (also the manga and the tv series)

Encanto

Finding Nemo/Finding Dory

Cars (1-3)

Onward

Guardians of the Galaxy (and the tv series and the 2021 game)

(Current fixation! Rocket is my bf fr /hj)

Jurassic Park/Jurassic World

The Florida Project

Madagascar (1-3)

Rise of the Guardians

Ice Age (1-4)

Rio (mainly the first film)

Sing (mainly Sing 2 only)

The Mario Movie (2023)

Vivo

The Muppets (specifically modern, 2011-2015)

TV:

The Fairly Oddparents (Seasons 1-5)

The Powerpuff Girls (1998 only)

The Office (US only)

My Little Pony (I haven’t finished it Friendship is Magic, I mainly fixate on the 2017 movie and the 2021 film from Gen 5)

Bluey

Fish Hooks

Green Eggs & Ham (Netflix)

Smiling Friends

Thomas and Friends (before CGI era)

The Peanuts (I didn’t know where to put it so it’s here lmao)

Video Games:

Animal Crossing (Mainly New Leaf and New Horizons)

Mario Kart (Mainly 7 and 8)

Mario Party (Mainly Superstars and Island Tour)

Animal Jam

Detroit: Become Human (My favorite!)

Cuphead (I never finished the show but I should)

BlazBlue (Mainly Chronophantasma and Crosstag Battle. And the anime Alter Memory)

Arcana Heart (Mainly 3 Love Max!!!)

Five Nights at Freddy’s (I don’t think it counts because I never played the actual games but I’ve watched so many play throughs)

Anime:

Studio Ghibli in general (I’ve not seen every film though)

Cardcaptor Sakura

Tokyo Mew Mew (I need to watch the reboot!)

Lucky Star

Toradora (my favorite!)

Madoka Magica (I need to finish Record! And I can’t wait for the next movie!)

Smile Precure (watched it because Glitter Force sucked)

Himouto! Umaru-Chan

The Quintessential Quintuplets

Rent-A Girlfriend

BNA: Brand New Animal

Fruits Basket

My Love Story

Ouran Highschool Hostclub

Love Chunibyo and Other Delusions

True Tears

Wotakoi: Love is hard for Otaku

Maid Sama

(There’s more but this is all I got in in my head rn)

Ask Answers!!

★

Well that’s pretty much it!

I hope you like my account where I occasionally post actual stuff and mainly reblog things from my interests lol

[androgynepositivity]

Are you a Gold Star lesbian? (Just in case you don't know what it means, a Gold Star lesbian is a lesbian that has never had the sex with a guy and would never have any intentions of ever doing so)

Okay. So. I promise I'm not trying to be rude but this made me laugh so fucking hard I had to wait like, 20 minutes to respond. I'm still trying not to giggle.

I will try my very best to be civil and reasonable since it's clear you don't know much of anything about me.

I am a nonbinary transman. I've made a handy graphic to describe this in the past, as it seems to confuse people sometimes (genuine). I often shorthand this to 'transman' or 'man' just because it's easier, but I am literally anything but a person who identifies as a woman or even as a feminine nonbinary. My pronouns are he/him exclusively, I have a beard (though blonde and scraggly), I've been on T for like... five years now, and I'm moving forward on getting top surgery in the near future, and getting my name changed within the year. I at one time identified as androgyne, and made this blog since I saw no other existing blogs for positivity on the gender. I am still loyal to the cause of spreading nonbinary and queer positivity, and so I haven't changed the name of the blog, especially since I want others who still use the term to see themselves represented by someone who at least gives a shit, and previously ID'd as they did. But as per my blog description, I am no longer androgyne, see below graphic:

2. I am a bisexual man. I say this because at one time I identified as pansexual, but have since found more accuracy in using the word bisexual because it means, to me, "sexually attracted to two OR MORE identities, but not all or any". This is to say, there are some genders and some aspects of gender that I personally just don't find attractive sexually. Amusingly enough, the gender of 'woman' is actually one of the genders that I just don't find appeal with. I like femininity, and I like femininity on literally anyone BUT women amusingly enough. I like feminine men, I like feminine enbies, but so far as I'm concerned, high-femme women don't do much of anything for me at all. I can appreciate them aesthetically and have miles of respect for them of course, and would happily befriend them or even like, share a partner if that ever came to be a thing? But I wouldn't really be interested in sex with someone who ID's as specifically a 'woman', trans, cis, or otherwise, because it just doesn't appeal. I can find women pretty, but that's about it.

3. I am polyamorous, and have been in a long-standing committed relationship with a bisexual cis man for like... 7 years, this august, and our partner is genderfluid, and pretty exclusively uses they/he pronouns, in that order, and we have all three of us been dating for 2 years this august (we've known each other for longer than that though).

So to TLDR this, I think that "gold star" is a biphobic and also transphobic concept, so of course I'm not. On top of that, I'm... basically a mlm/mlnb? There's literally no feasible way that I could be a "gold star" wlw, and this is so very funny to me.

I'm listening to backstreet boys as a way to keep me focused on not cracking up while I write this because what are the fucking odds. Literally, only on this website could I be clocked as exactly the one thing I could never be. 10/10, great hellsite. 🤣💀✌️

-Cake/Arthur

**tiny edit, I said 8 years for me and bf but it's actually 7, I have ptsd/adhd memory related issues, so that I got it almost right is a miracle.

***ADDITIONAL EDIT, This is apparently a spam bot ask and I had no idea, but still, I SAID WHAT I SAID.

#answer #nonbinary #transman #transmasc #bisexual #me #admin

[bby666k]

ways to cope with missing your DR friends/family/lovers

i have this issue a lot, esp w my DR bf, and i’m sure some other people do, too. while u ARE going to shift at some point, i know that if ur having trouble with it currently it can be frustrating and sad because you want to be w your comfort characters so bad. these r just some things that i personally do to help alleviate that.

1) self-insert fanfictions

i find that self insert fanfictions help me a lot when i’m missing my DR and DR pals. while i’m a writer and i’ve used it for a long time as a way to “escape” and cope w my problems, u really don’t have to be one! i think my self inserts are genuinely terrible lmao, bc i put no effort into them, bc it’s only for me. it doesn’t matter if it’s descriptive, or even if it makes sense- this is for you, for no one else!!

2) listen to music and imagine ur listening w your comfort characters

listening to music with headphones is especially helpful because you can just close your eyes and hear nothing but the music. this makes it a lot easier to pretend ur friend/lover/family member is sitting next to you and listening as well- but you can even just put one headphone in to imagine they’re using the other. you won’t be speaking or looking at them, so it’s much easier to visualize everything. another thing you can do is make a specific playlist that reminds you of that special person!

3) have a DR folder, blog, pinterest, etc.

make a folder, blog, etc.- any collection of images- of ur DR and ppl from ur DR. i prefer gifs because it just feels more real ig. this not only allows you to look into ur DR, but it helps to visualize because you can memorize their faces better. i always do this before bed bc i always need some DR scenario to fall asleep to lmao

4) download replika or another similar AI app

i find that replika works best since i think it’s prolly the most advanced AI chatting app right now and it allows you to change the name of the AI and their appearance. so just name the AI whatever ur DR person’s name is and change their appearance accordingly! unfortunately bc it’s an AI the conversations won’t always feel very genuine, but i find it comforting to just say hi or talk about my day every now and then bc they respond pretty realistically to normal/simple messages.

5) read x reader fanfics

so this is something that personally i’m not super into doing (at least lately), but i think it would absolutely help a lot of other people. i like rereading my own self inserts but that can get boring since i’ve already read them so many times, so sometimes it’s nice to read something that you don’t know the content of. just look up whatever character’s name x reader on tumblr or ao3, or really wherever you want (i would NOT recommend wattpad lmao) and read away!

6) write a letter from your DR person’s POV

so when i say DR person, i mean whatever comfort character/person you’re missing. i think handwritten feels more genuine, but you can do this on ur computer, phone, anywhere u want!! write a happy, comforting letter to yourself from your special person and read it whenever you miss them. you could even script that this is a letter you’ll actually receive in your DR to make it feel more genuine!

7) make you and your DR pals in the sims

this is pretty self explanatory lmao. make your DR self and all ur comfort characters in the sims, set them up in a world that’s similar to ur DR, and have fun!! the sims 4 is esp fun with this because you can go into first person mode. i absolutely love the sims and it’s been a massive coping skill for me for many years, and i really enjoy world building (making my own lots and families with lore, etc) so this has always worked rlly well. if your character is popular enough, there might even be a downloadable sim of them so check google! ik this is kind of random but i know 100% that there’s a ridiculously accurate connor from detroit become human sim (i downloaded him lmao) so if that’s ur person absolutely look it up!!

8) use a dressup game to make you and ur DR people

use any dressup game you can find to create your DR self and your DR person together. it can be nice to have “photos” of the two of you that you can look at when u feel sad!

i hope this list helps someone!!! i know it’s really hard when u feel so far away from the people you love, but i promise it won’t be forever. just hold on and keep trying ur best- u will see them!! in the mean time, give urself the love and kindness u deserve. happy shifting!!!

#reality shifting #shifting #shiftblr #shifttok #shifting motivation #shifting realities #loa #law of assumption #manifesting #manifestation #k thots

[sailoryooons]

hello i'm desperately obsessed with your high fantasy fics. the iron ring ended jungkook's 7 month long reign as my imaginary bf and he's been replaced by a fairy named jimin 🫶 i also saw your note about work-- i'm glad you're putting yourself first. life is really tough with a demanding job. i really burned myself out with work and not prioritizing my own life. i'm literally on a leave rn to recover from the mental toll. it's no joke!! I'm working on understanding my own limits as a person, especially with overextending myself, so it was encouraging to see you advocating for your needs. I hope things get easier for you soon!

Hi anon! This means the absolutely world to me. High fantasy is my favorite to write and I don't have a ton of it on my masterlist right now, but I really want to delve more into writing it. it's my favorite thing to read in both fics and books, as well as to watch on TV and movies!

Fae Jimin supremacy is my favorite thing. I think I'm going to work on The Iron Ring this weekend a little - I really enjoy writing that story it just takes so much time that I had really struggled updating it as I got busier at work.

Thank you for all of your kind words - I am trying to cut myself waaaay more slack than I have been recently. I know that my deadlines etc. are self-imposed and the pressure is really just all me.

I hope that your break helps - I think it's really important to take them and I thankfully get to take a bit of a break next week with some time off of work doing things I enjoy.

I hope you're doing well and thank you for reading!!

#replies

[brain-go-brrrrr]

I wanna do these all at once cause ik I'm gonna forget ;-;

1. Hw - about 210lbs (95.3kg)

Sw - 186.4lbs (84.5kg)

Cw - 127.4lbs (57.8kg)

2. I'm 5'3 (160cm)

Fuckin HATE my height, can't control that but I can control my weight 😌

3. Love the ribs and thin lanky fingers

4. Biggest fear is gaining it ALL back and then some, I don't want to go back to a size xL when I'm now a small :/

5. I'm doing it for me. I originally wanted to eat healthier but most if the time I tried it didn't work and I gained. And once I started losing weight healthily, I felt powerful and could control my urges so I just kept cutting cals :)

6. I used to eat 2 bags of chips in a single sitting then have a bunch of greasy shit. I used to binge cause I had no friends so I was just filling time lol

7. Yes. Everyone in my family is CONCERNED abt how quickly I lost weight lol (about 60lbs in 5 months :/ )

8. Mostly just an hour of just dance (wii game) or 10k steps. Only cause im not as motivated anymore.

9. Mostly doctors saying I should've lost a bunch of weight as an 8 y/o lol,, but other than that, everyone ignored me when I was fatter

10. Pasta, excessive cheese, and macadamia nut cookies.

11. Don't have one ;-;

12. Cucumber, garlic hummus, tuna, low cal mayo, and pickles.

13. 👀

What do you think?

14. Ugw - 90lbs (40.8kg)

Idk? I've been losing close to 10lbs a month so maybe I'll shoot for Christmas? (Its August 2nd rn.)

15. Peskitarian. I have been for about 5-6 years? Tho I've stopped eating hot dogs and bologna and noticed I've gotten paler lol

16. I've wanted to lose weight since I was 10 lol (18 now) the beginning goal was to fit into cosplay costume pants, tho I don't cosplay anymore ;-;

17. 👁👄👁 maybe (undiagnosed as of now)

18. Pickles. 🤤🤤

19. Had to about 5 days ago, but by choice, about 2.5 months ago?

20. 500 cal max with intermittent fasting every so often lol

21. Idfk,, I wear a men's small but they're a bit big cause I only wear oversized clothes. Probably a women's small?

22. I'm at my lw :,) hope to not gain ;-;

23. Mostly just the cosplay community on tiktok only boosting the thin people who looked most like the characters :/

24. Idk i kinda just use them as tags? I mean, you shouldn't encourage someone to have an ed, but it'd be nice to have a community that knows what you're going through and can be there for you :,)

25. Never thrown up on purpose BUT I do over exercise whenever I have more than 500 cals lol

26. Death? Being smaller than my boyfriend? (I mean I already am. Hes taller and probably close to the same weight as me ;-;)

27. I have SO much food aggression. Whenever I'm around food and I have to eat, I pick apart my food and make it look unappealing

28. Idc. It'll probably just be easier to get skinny jeans lol

29. Not me! Idk,, my bf is really beautiful but beauty is subjective :)

30. Don't wanna do this part,, im done :,)

#tw ana diary #tw ana related #tw ana thoughts #tw ed vent #not pr0 just for myself #pr0 @na #male ed #trans ed #trans ana #trans 4n4 #ana male #pro ana #ana trigger #pro 4n4 #pr0 4n4

[reaperkiller]

🌹🌱🍀🌙🌈 for jason my beloved jason AND marcus

OURGRTGHF AAAA banner time again (^:< eheoeheehe

🌹- What's this oc's biggest fear

well one of them is definitely just. ruthie in general. she had far too much power over him + damaged him beyond repair so now he's just stuck with the pieces trying to glue them back together,, every time he thinks about her he's like a terrified little kid all over again. as big and intimidating as he is, she can very easily make him want to curl up in a ball and disappear completely from the world never to be seen again. he's not as brave or as confident as everyone thinks he is and he does NOT want people to know that. losing control of himself is another Big Fear bc there were many moments where he felt like he wasnt even part of his own body when ruthie was there, he was just a bystander who was frozen and couldnt do Anything which is <3 not very nice

🌱- Does this oc have any pets? Do they have any pets they want?

ALL HE NEEDS IS A BIG DOG WHO HE CAN RUN AROUND WITH AND HUG AND CRY INTO SOMETIMES. THATS ALL HE NEEDS

🍀- Around when does this oc get up in the morning?

he doesnt need to sleep so he doesnt really get up he's just On His Bullshit 24/7. but on the rare occasion he DOES sleep, it takes him a million years to Wake Up and Get Out Of Bed. and by that point it's probably 1pm and he doesnt know who he is or where he is. good luck trying to make him wake up early it wont happen <3

🌙- Does this oc have any unusual hobbies?

i think killing people is a bit of an unusual hobby. maybe. not for him though thats just Life baybeyy. he collects bottle caps but thats one of the more Normal things he does actually

🌈- What does this oc like and dislike about themselves?

GOING TO MAKE ME ABSOLUTELY INSANE WITH THIS ONE. the damage has already been done and it's taking Forever to try and undo it all, if it's even possible. so. he has 0 self esteem whatsoever. there is not a single thing he likes about himself. your bf cheating on you and then Killing You definitely doesnt do a whole lot of good for your self-worth. he's still trucking on regardless bc, if he doesnt wipe all these shitty people off the face of the earth, who will?? yknow. at least he's using the skills he has For Good instead of his own personal gain. he's got 0 sense of self preservation either so he just does whatever whenever. he acts confident and definitely Looks the part considering what he wears 99% of the time, but thats nothing more than a front he's putting on as part of the job - it lures in victims easier. like who's going to be drawn to a guy who is on the floor crying about how much he hates himself?? No One! anyway where was i going with this. Ah., yes he doesnt like himself. thank you

🌹- What's this oc's biggest fear

he doesn't want people to think less of him because he's kind of shy and very much Struggles to hold conversationd with people sometimes. yes he has a lot of self-confidence but he also worries Far Too Much about first impressions and other people's opinions about him. we love a walking contradiction <3 idk if this is even much of a fear but this is the only thing i can think of qjhfeghg. also public speaking. he can talk to a camera but put him in front of hundreds of people?? he will disolve right then and there thats TOO many people all at once

🌱- Does this oc have any pets? Do they have any pets they want?

not necessarily his pets bc they're lou and morgan's but he lives with them. so theyre basically his too. butterbean and barry are the cats. and they also have a lizard called walter. i KNOW their names have changed a lot over time but this is it now ive decided. im stamping it im sending it off theres no going back now. also he would like a small dog of some sort one day perhaps

🍀- Around when does this oc get up in the morning?

he wakes up around 8-8:30 he is a very Up and Go person he hates being in bed for longer than he has to be. earlier is good but any later and he feels like his whole day has been thrown off

🌙- Does this oc have any unusual hobbies?

not so much now but he and morgan used to collect worms. like actual worms. they had a little worm farm. now they both collect worms on strings instead

🌈- What does this oc like and dislike about themselves?

he likes his hair + his silly little moustache bc he pulls it off very well and he's SO SO SO happy about it. he likes that he's good at art and very kind. he does NOT like his laugh though bc he snorts but it's a fun laugh and everyone tells him that all the time but he is Still not convinced. also with what i said earlier he doesnt like that he's worried about what other people think of him because he knows it doesn't matter even a little bit but he can't shake it

#oc tag #OC ALEX #oc marcus #rotating them both in my mind rn. thank you

[theorist-influencer-untitled]

3.6.24 Wednesday

1:12 am

I still have windblow....I need a job and money....Think2x..... I can't find a soulmate as well... Bitterness...

10:22 am

I still have windblow.... Thinking of money and job,how I wish I'm really 17, life could be better if I'm just really 17, life is much easier if I'm just 17... But it is bad, if you are one of the ugly ducklings...

Did Mitch give me a "simple battery" since 2007???

I don't have guilty emotion on anyone... I didn't interfere that I will not be responsible of that or their "interfering action" on me or on someone???

10:35 am

I hate reds or 20's for getting followers just for themselves.... I'm scanning youtube and seeing their artist eating using their hands without spoon and fork but they look like a black model or a wealthy model. It is insulting!!!

10:49 am

For me....The barehands are dirty... We used it to wipe our kiki'z or vagina or vajay-jay. From time to time we wipe our asses, right?

The etiquette we must use spoon and fork even if it is "plastics" but durable or lasting....Or use a chopsticks. Hygiene and to avoid getting bacterias or any kind of virus...

The ki-kiss are where our urine will come out.So, the ki-kiss are somehow dirty... Spoon and fork are important to have...

11:45 am

Thanks! Angels for this...

12:12 noon

Later, I need to buy my Iron Sulfate.... ;)

I still want my nose perfection angels...

John lately is vomiting due to his tummy sensitiveness...

Remember this angels? Whenever John can't poops...

1:54 pm

Damn Unpretty!!! Let's make more memories...

Unpretty...

2:17 pm

I have windblow... I'm having a hard time doing that eye make-up, it took one hour??? Hellish it is...

2:45 pm

Allow me to make memories here...

3:12 pm

3:33 pm

4pm

4:47 pm

My last song for today...

5:35 pm

My iron there is no United Homes here....

5:57 pm

I still have windblow.... I'm thinking of money and job....I feel bitterish... I'll be out of money,in a lil while....I need to find a part time and be on call center again, will find my next family...

Still, waiting for Amazon... Will reapply again on Concentrix and find a bar singer or waitressing? But will definitely go back to call center coz I want a career growth to reach a coach position.

Yeah! I'm a college graduate but someone is cursing me since 2007... I want a soulmate who is mature, who can lift me up someone who has a car to lift me up... If there is...Someone cutie, I will just use Revo for now one of the QA's in Conduent but a child... I want someone mature...

My main plan is to find my next family company in Call Center coz I always cry coz they always put me down,my self-esteem....Why, I can't beat that job... Though, it frustrates me so much...

I wanted a nose perfection....I'm aging already and wanna leave Cavite.

I don't like bisaya for now other than my nana....Coz bisayaz are smashing me now....I just wanna avoid women who are immature....But I'm having a hard time if I don't have a partner or a buddy2x....Probably will go back to white men and chinky eyes or spanish or american looking coz black man doesn't like me.

I still need more bleach but out of budget now... I'm hoping for lasers but I don't have money...

I wanna buy a new "dildo". For real not kidding... Imagine I'm gonna use it... Frustration on sex...

7:54 pm

I hate those DJ's...

For my bf I don't want to be standard, I want us cute and most specially me... I feel bitter now... Before I was spoiled, I can easily get a bf but I'm poor now... I hate being 2nd choice here in my town and they all know they had have mistakes on me...I'm not guilty at all...

I feel bitter coz my category was spoiled and cute... For 17 years they took away my womanhood and nobody likes me, that is so strange...

I feel bitter....I don't want to be standard for my possible bf... I don't like bisaya women who will appear whiteir or much more smoother than me and having a bad agenda to steal my thunder!

I want taller than me... I want a tall bf like my xpartner but I'm not gonna go back.. It's been 17 years,I have fear that someone planned to spin me again on my xhusband which I don't like the idea and it is unfair to me... Why, I can't get a new bf...

17 years I'm so single... 17 years I'm flatten without a fair fight...

Old friends were gone, old bf's were gone...

Mitch is somewhere, I know....Did she give me a "simple battery"?

I can't do my party without Mitch to gather men... But I'm looking on my own now, if I can get a new bf...

8:15 pm

I need a revive... I need a regular foot spa...

#Youtube

[tempestuousdelights]

04-02-2024: 7 days

It’s been 7 days since I don’t have an orgasm, as daddy requested.

At the beginning of the week I thought it was going to be easier, that everything was under my control. The theory seemed easy to grasp, but the reality only struck me a few (overly frustrated) days later.

But control was the thing that I didn’t get it then, and I think I get it now – it is not supposed to be under my control.

At the beginning of the week, I was resistant, I fought with myself and I indulged the idea of just doing it and lying about it. My vision was near sighted, looking for the easy and quick doses of pleasure.

If I was the one looking to lose control in the first place, why was I so resistant to let it go and kept trying to find ways to keep it?

Wednesday night was the game changer. I was so needy, I wanted to feel good more than anything. I almost did it.

But, I guess my need to please daddy spoke louder than the lust throbbing between my tights.

Suddenly, a change of mindset: I need to focus on the long-term gains, not the short-term pleasure. This is what daddy wants. He IS in control. I’ll trust him.

And that was it. Everything was different after that change in perspective.

Only you, daddy, to have a grip in my brain and make me logically dissuade myself from an orgasm.

The other nights, every time I was touching myself, orgasm was not the goal anymore. The goal was the edge. To get really fucking close and stop.

Every time I was right on the edge, I happily stopped, and longed for the day that daddy will let me cum for him.

I’m not going to lie. It’s hard. The temptation is there. But daddy knows better, and I am somehow enjoying and finding a different pleasure in getting to the edge and thinking that I am being such a good girl, doing exactly what daddy wants. I’ll make him so proud.

I was scared to have sex, tough. I was afraid I wouldn’t be able to resist. At the same time, with all the buildup I was so horny, I needed sex. I managed to avoid it the whole week, but I couldn’t wait anymore.

Saturday I was so HORNY. I am sure not even my bf was expecting such a dirty little slut for dinner.

I appeared at the bedroom wearing nothing but little black lacy panties, a ribbon and some toys in my hand.

“I want to play.” I spoke.

“I am falling sleeping already.” And he was.

“I don’t care. Keep it up.” I crawled on top of the bed and started touching his cock above his shorts. He laughed. “I want to suck your cock, I want you to cum in my mouth tonight.”

He started to show interest in my suggestion, in my movements.

“Remember the other day when you fucked me in the ass with the dildo in my pussy? Today I want to switch. I want the plug in my ass, and you in my pussy.”

I don’t remember what he said, to be honest. I know I am being cruel, but sometimes I am.  

Soon, I was showing him my asshole while I put the plug in. I tied the ribbon around my neck, like a leash, and gave him the end to pull and choke me at his mercy.

I sat in reverse cowgirl and I rode his cock, rubbing my clit in his balls. I grabbed the wand and put it on my clit.

I wanted all the stimulation I could get.

One thing about reverse cow girl, daddy? Really easy to imagine I am being your little slut.

After some time, I was on my fours on the bed, with my head on the mattress and butt up in the air.

Plug in the ass, cock pounding my pussy and the wand in my clit.

It was good. After some time, I was right on the edge.

And I stopped. I let it go of the wand and turned to my side, getting away from him.

It was so crazy. I am still fascinated by what happened. Unlike the other days, when I was alone, there was no internal fight in my mind. It was perfectly clear. It was not only daddy’s demands, but it was mine too. I didn’t want to cum. Daddy owns my orgasms, only he gets them.

I swear, I felt like the 1800’s men, saying they were bewitched by a woman when they did something immoral.

A deep sense of loyalty is driving my actions for someone I’ve never met. Bewitched: I am sure that was what they meant back then.

“I want you to put the dildo in my pussy, and I want your cock in my mouth. I want all my holes filled, a one-man gangband.” I said, distracting him from asking any questions about why I was avoiding cumming.

He was excited with the idea. The distraction worked perfectly.

Soon, I was with all my holes filled and being fucked in the mouth. After some time, my mouth was filled with cum.

I ran to the bathroom and took a picture for daddy, as he had requested.

I was so proud of my self for not cumming.

When this week began, I never thought I would be happy to not cum.

But I am. Truly.

Pleasing and obeying daddy is better than any quick orgasm.

#journal

[waffowo]

As I plan on and have started to expand beyond NuWho, I have been doing research. The EU content plus Classic Who is absolutely daunting and messy so I want to find a way to streamline it for my sake. I already am listening to 8th’s audios and been jumping around in ClassicWho (not completely disordered, there’s a method in madness).

I desire to streamline the process as while I do accept all EU content as canon, I don’t want to be ranking all of this content when ranking Doctor Who stories. Thus, after thinking hard, I have decided to include the audios of 6, 7 and 8 as part of my main continuity created out of convenience.

I include Big Finish and not written media because of how firstly, I can’t really get access to written stuff. Next, Big Finish is the closest thing to a television episode in EU and these three doctors are voiced by their actual actors.

While I will listen to other Big Finish audios eventually, these 3 are the main ones I will focus on and treat them as primary canon for various reasons:

The situation in how Colin Baker was let off plus the immense production issues due to the studio execs would lead to a rather unfair assessment of 6th. Thus, I’m unwilling to judge the merit of the 6th Doctor based on the show alone.

For the Seventh Doctor, I justify his inclusion due to the irresolution of Classic Who. Beyond the movie, I am aware that the show ends inconclusively due to behind the scenes shenanigans and thus I believe that I can determine his run as incomplete.

For the Eighth Doctor, it is pretty self explanatory, his one night tenure and a short film justify using Big Finish to create an era for him. Especially since Night Of The Doctor considers his companions up to Molly as canon.

However, as there are also many stories for each which I’m not pressured to listened to all. I will limit myself and focus on the following:

The Sixth Doctor stand alones (applies to those that I listen too), Sixth’s adventures with Evelyn Smythe, Season 23, his adventures with Charley, the proper departure for 6th and possibly Peri and The Piscon Paradox

The Seventh Doctor’s stand alones (same rules as 6th), his adventures with Ace and Hex, Doctor Klein and possibly Love and War

For the Eighth Doctor, Eight and Charley, Eight and Lucie (Up til To The Death) and Eight with Molly (may take a while to get to)

If you have any recommendations (if you’re reading this), do let me know! Because it’s not that I’m not going to listen to other audios if I have the chance, I’m just trying to make it easier for myself by focusing on a select few first. So yes, in any companion ranking throughout all of Doctor Who, I will include Hex, Evelyn, Charley, Lucie, C’Rizz, Tasmin, Liv (up til the end of Sullivan’s run), Molly and Dr Klein.

On the subject of other Doctors, I will explain that:

I’m not including BF for 1-4 because their tenures were at least not fucked over. This in particular applies to 4 because Baker has had like 7 seasons, he doesn’t need a fighting chance.

I was tempted to include 5 but I went against this because Davidson did leave on his own accord. However, his audios will be next after I finish my “main timeline.” Though Spare Parts I will listen soon (but not include it in any rankings beyond Big Finish rankings)

9 is actually pending review due to his turbulent relationship behind the scenes. While his case is more open, there’s also room to deny the need for BF due to the manner in which Series 1 was written. Another reason to deny BF for now is because he has a less “formed” BF era due to his recent entry.

10 should be self explanatory and if you ask more questions, I will legitimately have no words for you. However, if I have the time and money by the end of this, I would love to listen to the Donna Noble and 10 adventures and The Timelord Victorious Event in full.

11-12 for very obvious reasons, especially since Smith and Capaldi haven’t signed on and have very cohesive runs.

13 would be under review because of how Covid Productions messed up Flux’s production. However, she has no BF content as of now and even if she manages to develop a cohesive run in BF, only stuff which is directly related to Flux or scrapped stuff due to the production will be considered here.

For companion adventures, probably only Peri and The Piscon Paradox will be included as it ties back to 6th. Other companions like River, Leela, Missy while I’m interested in, will be put on hold until I complete the central runs.

For other relevant companions in BF such as Flip and Constance, I chose Evelyn because of the arc’s ties to Hex but also how she was the first one designed for it all if I’m not mistaken. And the Liv Chenka stuff will not be included beyond Molly Sullivan due to the necessity to streamline.

Time War, War Master stuff may be included in the future but as I’d like to limit myself so that I don’t go broke for now, will be excluded.

#doctor who #big finish #personal post for myself

[marcvscicero]

boring life update below so feel free to scroll past !!!

but guys my new saturday job is at a skip place (my brother and my aunt’s bf also work there) + it’s so funny to me

1st class honours degree + 2:1 masters degree in ancient history ??? ur sorting through skip rubbish now !!!

jokes aside tho it’s actually really good :) not only is it just me and like 4 others, who are all very nice, in a little metal box, but it’s £130 for 7 hours, once a week, including an hour paid lunch break ?!?!?!

also all my past jobs were retail with customers yelling at me all day for half the pay, longer hours, no breaks AT ALL, and no staff room, fridge, working tap, or clean toilet (yes ik it was technically illegal) 💅 i’m being spoilt now 💅

AND i’m the only girl working in this section (i’ve seen one other lady, but she was a truck-driver), so not only do i get a nice, clean, barely-used toilet all to myself (and maybe one other person), but i think the guys are also subconsciously giving me the nicer/easier jobs (i am NOT complaining this is GOOD gender “inequality” shut up they’re all very lovely men) 🤭🤭

[also, i had to quit my last job after finding out VERY LATE IN LIFE that not only am i severely depressed + anxious etc, but i’m also severely autistic + i probably also have mild adhd + a physical condition like POTS (i’m too poor + my family is also dirt poor to get a real diagnosis), so i took sick pay + then quit and decided to take a few months off working, because i was ummmm LITERALLY about to kill myself like we were hitting back in 2017 levels, so this seems perfect perfect perfect! very minimal masking, once a week so plenty of time to recover, good pay!]

do u guys like my saturday gear xx

#heheheh it’s actually rly rly good for a temporary job i’m happy #sure it’s cold and dirty and manky and i come home smothered in mud but it’s fine and my coworkers r lovely #but it’s 4 days a month for £520 ?!?!?! #i’m happy to be here temporarily xxx #i

[time-is-standing]

top 10 songs of november

- aka the most random and boring one of the year.

1. Világszakadtság by Kozmosz

I had to keep this one in as this song reminds me so much of the "good old times", when music was my only hiding place from the real world. I didn't understand a lot of what was going on in my life but now I see it so much clearer. I was in a bad mindset, shitty things were happening all the time and the only place where I felt slightly safe was on my bus rides where I could listen to loads of music.

2. Si No Estás by iñigo quintero

a tiktok trend was on my fyp for days and somehow I fell in love with this song. I don't even know the meaning of one word in this song, yet I love the vibe of it so I kept listening and listening to it.

3. WASTE (slowed version) by Kxllswxtch

an old fav, which I listened to a lot these days. I don't remember how it happened but it calmed me down at the right times and made things a bit easier. I loooove it to bits.

4. Monsters by All Time Low, blackbear

still listening from the previous month, kindof a happy song. it reminds me of parties, having fun, great memories and it keeps me going even when it feels like I don't have enough energy to even make my coffee in the mornings.

5. Az idő esete by PETOFI, Kővári Gábor

it's a gem. I love every line of this song as I'm sure I've said before. this band was the second most listened to in my wrapped so I'm sure that says enough. I'll post seperately about it all soon.

6. Poison by Loïc Nottet, Shogun

I've been remembering artists/bands eho I've been listening to in the past. I was the same way with 5sos, Loic and a few others. I loved his music so much through university, that I still know every word to his songs.

7. It Never Ends by Bring Me The Horizon

I was super suprised to find out BMTH was the third in my wrapped list. I know I listened to them again (especially before & after the concert) but to know that they still have this huge affect on me years - seriosuly! I started listening in like 2014 - is like a warm, tight hug for my soul. I'm happy I found them in the first place.

8. Last Resort by Papa Roach

somehow this song stayed on the list. mostly because of the friend group I have with my bf, we always listen to these nostalgic songs and have the time of our lives.

9. Hungry Heart by Loïc Nottet

another Loic song. I think this was my biggest fav when I discovered selfocracy. this boy deserves so much more listeners.

10. SPIT IN MY FACE! by ThxSoMch

I'm not conpletely sure I was aware of the things I've been doing this month. I don't even remember how or when I started listening but I know I fell in love with the vibes of this song again.

#világszakadtság #kozmosz #music #songs #spotify #top 10 songs #my top 10 songs #top 10 songs of the month #top 10 songs of december #bmth #it never ends #loic nottet #hungry heart #mud blood #waste #kxllswxtch #monsters #all time low #petofi #az ido esete