✨ some mad ramblings cuz i have nothing better to do ✨
~ i've met quite a few capricorn women in my life and it always blows me away how FRIENDLY and open and talkative they are??? i don't know where (tropical) capricorn suns get the reputation of being cold/reserved, because from what i've seen they're THE chattiest people ever haha i love them! though i have no idea how they have the energy to talk so much, it's impressive!
~ maybe its because of my leo rising, but i noticed i always befriend leo suns. i love these big cats to bits, i love how attentive and loving they are (and honestly i think it's super cute how they can be needy for attention/affection sometimes<3)
~ sometimes when speaking to a pisces mercury, you could say something in the most direct and clear way possible, and they'll still misunderstand you and think you meant something else, or they'll imagine you said something else entirely. our minds are a hazy maze hahahaha
~ air moons aren't unemotional or unfeeling, no moon sign is. we all just have different ways of expressing what we're feeling, and some express their emotions more openly than others
~ some people might relate more to their sidereal chart, and others may not relate to it at all. i think it really depends on each person, but also i think it's important to remember that our charts don't exist only to describe our personalities, they describe our entire lives and experiences. astrology isn't like a silly little personality quiz (though it's fun to view it that way sometimes)
~ house placements are just as important as sign placements! always read up on what planets/signs you have in each house, it can all be very interesting and surprising :)
~ libra moons have the prettiest smiles, it doesn't even matter whether they're sidereal or tropical, they have the brightest faces and im obsessed. literal sunshines
~ all virgo sun guys i've met have looked and acted the same, they can be so wacky and goofy as well. lovely fellas, i always feel protective of them hahaha
~ i feel like regardless of your sun sign, if you have a scorpio moon, it will always overpower your sun somehow, people might tell you you don't act like your sun sign at all. the same thing goes for 8H stelliums
~ speaking of scorpios, u guys are literal angels. so understanding and accepting and nonjudgmental, ily<3
~ good luck trying to get to know people with 12H or 8H placements, you'll need it 👍
~ 7H placements (especially sun/moon)... how does it feel to always depend on other people's opinion of you and always seek to please the public? remember to do things for yourself too honey 💛 especially if you're an artist/creator!
~ earth risings are SO beautiful. capricorn risings especially, i just. wow. i am looking respectfully 😳
alright that's all, remember these are just personal observations of mine so don't take them too seriously pls! byeee<3
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Her. An Essay.
The spring air lies heavy in your lungs as you breathe in deeply, the bright smells assault your nose and waves of nostalgia roll off the hills. You know this is her favorite season so you’ve dressed prepared for the chill in the air.
It's a long walk to the meadow with a shovel in hand and wheelbarrow pushed in front of you, but you do it. When you get there, a girl smiles up at you from where she is playing in the grass.
You know her age, but do not say it. You know her name, but do not say it. You know her, but do not say it.
She says hello in that sweet mellow tone that sounds so foreign yet so similar and tastes like syrup on your tongue. Her eyes are wide and shining, but blissfully not tear stained- like your own- and her cheeks are round with a warm flush as her smile softens.
You do not meet her eyes, those same beautifully colored eyes that match yours, searching for a hint as to what you’re doing here. You gaze across the meadow instead but still catch a glimpse of her blue denim overalls and green shirt.
They match your own in a way.
You finally say hi back and take the shovel to the dirt under a beautifully perfect sycamore tree that arches into the sky; it rises before the two of you, right in the middle of the meadow. The dirt stains your clothes as you drop to your knees, using your hands more than the shovel to dig at the layered earth.
You hear soft footsteps behind you but don’t look up from your work. To your side you see the girl walk up to you again and she places a small flower behind your ear before grinning and moving to lay in the sun near you.
You pluck the flower out from behind your ear to examine it. A white petunia. A wistful familiarity to the flower washes over you and you tuck it back behind your ear before moving back to the freshly unearthed dirt.
You can feel her watching as you dig this pit, you hate the feeling of dirt under your fingernails. The mud cakes on your hands and crackles with every movement; it makes your skin crawl but you don’t give up now. After a small hole is dug, you grab the large stone and tools brought in the wheelbarrow and begin to carve. She sits next to you now, her smaller hands grip a rock in her own palms and she plays with it gently.
You carve a name you didn’t think you’d ever write again into the rock and place it at the top of the pit. She recognizes the name, tips her head smiling gently, and in an understanding manner she stands up.
And walks away. Around the back of the sycamore tree she disappears and then reappears.
She plucks a sycamore leaf off the ground when she´s visible again and looks up as you smile at her. She drops the leaf into the hole you've dug, then helps you repack the layers of sediment that you both know you’ll unearth again, in the future, to be intertwined together in the end.
But not now. Now, the earth is resealed and she smiles sweetly, laying a makeshift bouquet of petunias and poppies with a gentle hand.
You get up and hold a hand out for her, she doesn't look away from the earth you've both just moved and instead runs her hands over the top of the rocks again before sighing with a big smile. She gets up and grabs your hand, it's so much smaller and softer than yours yet you can still feel the dirt on both of your hands.
She grips your hand a little tighter, following your lead as you walk towards home, flower still tucked behind your ear you notice a matching flower behind her own. And you smile.
When you get closer to the house, her eyes are wide with soft recognition, a place so familiar to the both of you yet it feels cold and empty at the same time. You invite her inside again, it's been so long for you both, still the house is like an old friend, in a way. You hold open the door and she steps through.
She walks over to the dinner table and sits down at the far side, gesturing for you to sit on the other but you shake your head politely.
You aren't ready yet.
You ask if she’d like a drink, and she nods. You already know what she would like so you don’t have to wait for her to tell you. Passing over the tall glass with ice clinking in it feels like a ritual. You don't want to let go. You do. You sit down across from her.
You know what's coming next and it's hard. You know you have to accept it. Losing her again won't be easy but you know it's not permanent this time.
She takes small sips of her drink, smiling over to you but neither of you attempt to make small talk anymore, you both know how the interaction will end.
And it's not bittersweet. Neither of you are upset. She is content in a way you don’t think you quite understand yet. But you think you feel complete, whole and peaceful for possibly the first time in your life.
It's enjoyable to watch her glowing eyes look at you with respect and admiration, to be able to grow into what you did makes her heart beat with something adjacent to love.
And as you leave the house, knowing you will be reunited in the end, to be buried in love & hate, happiness & anger, and warmth & heartache. You know it's love. It's always been love.
For her.
-Her. An Essay. (By me)
Happy trans visibility day. This is an ode to the girl I was. We will be buried together in the end. I love you, take care.
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