#ngl there are still parts of this fic I feel so unsure about but like I really want to include them?? lol | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

wooahaes · 8 months

Text

golden

pairing: god!hoshi x fem!mortal!reader

genre: romance, fluff, angst. gods au.

word count: 13.2k~

warnings: character death. resurrection. mentions of fire, food, rain, and alcohol all within the fic. mentions of sex, unwritten (reader and soonyoung are pretty much stated to have sex, but there is 0 depictions of it past kissing and slightly talking about it). mentions of other death in the background of the fic.

daisy's notes: this was originally going to be a mark fic ngl and i still have the scraps of that first attempt.

[note: no taglist on this fic due to me being unsure of who is okay and not okay w sexual content of any kind!! imo its super tame + not explicit at all, but i don't wanna tag someone that doesn't want that, y'kno?]

Soonyoung rarely ventured down to the mortal realm as often as the others did.

This wasn’t due to a disdain for humans; truthfully, Soonyoung was fond of them in plenty of ways. He found them interesting to watch from a distance, never getting too attached to any of them with their tiny lifespan. Truthfully, he always made the excuse that he was busy. Who would raise and set the sun every day if not for him? It was an excuse, to be fair: the sun was set on its path without him needing to be there to do the work himself. He merely kept to himself more often than the others thought. He wasn’t like Seungcheol, who ventured down in times of war and passed through soldiers who couldn’t see him, revitalizing them as he watched destruction rain down; or Jeonghan, who would always be there to retrieve Seungcheol when the fighting finally came to an end, a reminder that being the God of War did not ruin Seungcheol as a person. He wasn’t like Jun, who silently accepted offerings made to him every year and blessed the harvests (and weddings—the fun part of presiding over multiple domains, as they all did), or Chan, who loved to feel the change of the seasons himself. Soonyoung simply knew the truth: he couldn’t, and shouldn’t, get attached. He had seen what happened to people who got attached.

Yet he always made an exception when his festival came around. He liked to come down and take part in celebrations, finding that they revitalize him in a way like no other. They were always extravagant affairs, larger than life itself with music and dancing that he could spend all night doing. He liked to sample human food, too–especially if he was able to drag Seokmin along, too. The two could ditch their duties for a few hours, the systems in place allowing that slight leave, and sample the sweet wines blessed by Minghao himself. Maybe it blew up Soonyoung’s ego a bit to see how beloved he was by so many, but he enjoyed the fun of it all more than anything else. None of them knew his name, to be fair: they knew the God of the Sun, the God of Dance, or Hoshi if anything. Never Soonyoung.

He’d sampled a sun-shaped chocolate as he weaved through the crowds, always leaving people with a bashful thanks before he moved on. Soonyoung would have his today, and return home with Seokmin later. That was the way things were meant to be. Maybe he’d sneak a bottle of wine back with him, even if it’d earn an eye-roll from Minghao who would tell him all he needed to do was ask for a bottle if he wanted it so badly. It wasn’t the wine, though: it was the experience. A new bottle he can keep along his collection to remember this by.

Except Soonyoung saw you. He had lost track of Seokmin in the crowd, and ventured toward the town square, where he saw you among the crowd. You’d been dancing with your friends, arms thrown out and flowing garments twisting around you as you laughed with carefree abandon. He’d later learn that you had been drinking that day, enjoying the freedom from work and life and everything heavy. Soonyoung was supposed to meet Seokmin. He was supposed to go find him, and then go home. Yet the moment he went to pass you, you had lost your footing, stumbling into him. Your hands were pressed against his chest as he supported you, staring down at your half-hunched over position, peering up at him through your eyelashes.

“... Hi?” You had breathed out, no sense of embarrassment yet.

Soonyoung had heard stories of gods who fell in love with mortals. It happened to Jihoon, and he remembered how that story ended. He hadn’t understood it, though. How could someone like them fall so easily for someone who’s life was so miniscule? That was an introduction to pain, letting in the opportunity for tragedy to strike. And yet there you were, staring up at him in a way that made his heart stir in his chest like no other. He’d stared at you with parted lips, wide-eyed and feeling the heat rushing to his face as he realized how awkward the two of you must be. There’s an apology on his lips, right where he wished yours would be, only for it to die in his throat as you laughed and straightened up.

“Do you want to dance?” Your hands had found his.

And Soonyoung said yes, forgetting all about the friend he’d been searching for. You’d guided him back with you, and time melted into something entirely new as Soonyoung danced with you. It wasn’t until Seokmin found him later, all but having to drag Soonyoung from the gentle sway your dance had devolved into. He’d forgotten about life and his responsibilities and everything that was supposed to be important: you had called him handsome.

“Pretty, too,” you had said to him a second later, before giggling. Soonyoung felt like that must be the alcohol in your system making you so giggly. “Like sunlight.”

Oh, if only you knew.

That was why Soonyoung returned the next day, despite everything being over. He found you again, and introduced himself to you with a lie that he was new in town. You’d laughed again, and he felt as though he might fall in love with the sound.

“I know,” you said, picking up a trampled flower from the ground, setting it into your basket. “It’s a small town. I assumed you were someone stopping in for the festival.”

Soonyoung crouched down next to you, wordlessly helping you with your work. “It was really pretty.”

“It always is,” you picked up another flower, and then your eyes met his. “My friends haven’t stopped teasing me, though.”

“Why?”

“You’re cute,” you smiled, and he felt his heart fluttering in his chest all over again. “And of course it’d be someone not from around here that caught my attention.”

Soonyoung furrowed his brow. “You don’t like anyone here?”

“Not really,” you shrugged, fingers brushing against his as you reached for the same flower. “I guess… I never saw someone that felt worth knowing. You feel different.”

Soonyoung had heard about this from Hansol once before. He’d asked once before what drew people together like that, and Hansol had merely shrugged and said some people just… stood out among the crowd sometimes. That had been why Soonyoung only ever went down during festivals. Between the food and the music and the wine, there was enough to distract from Soonyoung, even if it earned him the occasional look as someone felt… something about him drawing their attention.

“So, stranger,” you stood up. “You got a name? Where are you from? Are you just passing through, or…?”

Soonyoung said his name, gauging your reaction for a second before he continued on, “I’m from the city,” he lied casually enough. “And… I might be.”

“You might be?” You teased. “You looking for a reason to stay?”

“I might be,” he smiled.

It earned another warm laugh from you, so short and fleeting. “Well, Soonyoung, if you’re not busy… Maybe I could show you around. Give you a reason.”

As much as he knew he shouldn’t… Soonyoung thought that he’d already found it. So he let you take him by the hand, so warm underneath his touch, and guide him around the town. It felt like every corner the two of you turned, you had a story. You had lived here all your life, and it showed in your stories. Was love at first sight a thing? Hansol said it wasn’t, that it was merely attraction that either blossomed into love or it didn’t. Yet Soonyoung felt as though his soul knew yours. How suddenly a single person could make him wish he were a mortal that could live alongside you and one day die next to you.

“You’re getting ahead of yourself,” Jihoon said to him one day. He’d entered his godly domain without even asking (although Jihoon never had to ask), finding him taking a nap. He stared down at him. “I mean it. You can’t fall in love with a mortal.”

“I’m not in love with a mortal,” he said. “She’s…”

“Soonyoung.” Jihoon’s voice was like ice as he stared at him. “I lived this. I won’t stand here and watch it happen to you, too.”

“How did you even find out?”

Jihoon crossed his arms. “Hansol. Who else would know?”

He had a point. If anyone had their finger to the pulse of love… It’d be the God of Love himself. Hansol had wrinkled his nose when Soonyoung passed by him earlier, although Soonyoung had merely assumed that it was the scent of mortals and his sweat that disgusted him. Soonyoung sat up, grass crunching underneath him as he looked at Jihoon, backlit by the moon above. He stared down at him, hands curling into fists.

“You don’t want to hurt like I did,” he said in a lower voice. “One day they’re here, and the next…” He reached a hand around the crystal that hung around his neck. “You’ll never see them again.”

Soonyoung didn’t know what to say. Either he defied his friend, his brother, or he let go of you before he’d even grown to know you.

So he went to Joshua instead.

Joshua had been lounging in his own little home, spread out on the pearly white chaise as he looked down upon the pool of water in the middle of his room. Sometimes, Soonyoung wondered what he was watching so intensely. Life? Or his own reflection? All Soonyoung ever saw was his own face when he peered in, but maybe he wasn’t looking at it right. Joshua looked up, and smiled that pretty smile that Soonyoung had seen carved into marble plenty of times. It was enough to make any man proud, and any god insufferable at times.

“Soonyoung.” Joshua’s voice was like honey. No wonder mortals dedicated sonnets to it. “I see you’ve finally come around.”

“How long do mortals live?”

He laughed. “Straight to the point. I see. And so soon, too… Then again, you aren’t like Jihoon. It took Jihoon forever to realize his own feelings…” He let out a sigh. “It’s hard to say.”

Soonyoung stared at him. He understood, slightly: Joshua always said that human life changed with the advancing of medicine. No wonder he resided over both domains, watching over them with a careful eye. “Then how long does she have?”

“I can’t tell you that.”

Soonyoung watched as Joshua stood up, making his way over to a cabinet on the far side of his room, flowing garments dragging along the floor. He followed close behind, lagging only far enough behind that he didn’t step on the fabric. “Why not?!”

“Because you’re a god, Soonyoung,” Joshua didn’t turn to face him. He opened the cabinet, shimmering liquid sitting inside. He hummed to himself, looking through them. “You can’t change a mortal’s lifespan. It goes against our rules.”

“And who made those?” Soonyoung asked. “You watched Jihoon’s love die. You couldn’t make an exception?”

“It was their time.” Joshua pulled a blue vial that reminded Soonyoung of a clear sky, and he held it up to the light. “I couldn’t do anything for them. They were in Seokmin’s hands.”

Then maybe he should be talking to Seokmin. Joshua said nothing as he held out the vial, looking through the cabinet further.

“Hold onto this for me, please.”

Soonyoung moved forward, accepting it. He’d never understood things like this—but, thankfully, he didn’t have to. It wasn’t like mortal medicine, which made his head spin. Magic through potion making… That was far outside of his realm. Magic just happened when Soonyoung danced. Light sparked up, the sun was a little warmer on days it was supposed to be cold, the sun stayed out a little longer to help a person find their way home… It manifested through the physical movements he made. It was the same with Minghao, with Junhui, with Chan. He’d seen the dances that Chan choreographed to bring about the seasons, turning it into a performance art. The way Minghao blessed art and wine and those who created both with his own special flourish. And the way Junhui’s movements brought about the harvest as he moved. Joshua, however, always had this song underneath his breath that he seemed to mumble as he pulled vial after vial. Rich purple and sunshine yellow and deep, deep blue that was almost black until the light hit it just right.

Joshua walked away, plucking the blue sky vial from Soonyoung’s hands with a simple “thank you,” as he passed by him. Soonyoung could only continue to follow him.

“So…”

“So.” Joshua had walked away to a set of glasses, set up not far from the cabinet. When Soonyoung asked why it wasn’t closer before, Joshua had merely said something about avoiding cross-contamination. “I can’t help you with her. She’s a mortal.” One drop of sky blue. Two of the sunshine yellow.

“You can’t make an exception?”

One of purple… and then another. “Nope.”

“I’m not going to stop.”

One of deep, dark blue. “I didn’t think you would.”

“I mean it.” Soonyoung crossed his arms. “I want to know her. You’d understand if you saw her.”

“I’m sure I would.” Joshua simply pulled out one of the thin, long rods he used to mix these vials. Despite the colors that went into it, it turned into a shimmering, golden liquid after he added a pinch of some dust that Soonyoung knew nothing about. “I’m sure we all would.”

Was he not budging? Soonyoung didn’t plan this far. He thought if he made it completely clear that he was going to pursue you, whether it got him hurt or not, that Joshua would give something up. Joshua was one of the ones who was most hurt by seeing Jihoon mourn… Maybe it was wrong to try and use that against him, but Soonyoung knew that if he didn’t try to pursue you, he’d regret it for the rest of his life. Didn’t Joshua understand that? Hadn’t he followed people’s lives out of sheer curiosity of where they ended up? He treated it as gossip with Jeonghan sometimes, Soonyoung heard it.

“Soonyoung?” Joshua asked, pushing a cork into the vial. He tied a cord around it, securing it fully. “Don’t drink this.”

Soonyoung said nothing as Joshua tied the vial around his neck, looking down at where it fell between his collarbones. “I won’t?”

“Good.” Joshua gave him a pat on the shoulder. “Don’t you have a mortal to be wooing?”

Soonyoung met Joshua’s gaze, and saw the smile he’d given him. “You aren’t going to stop me?”

“Nope.” He walked away. “You’re interrupting me anyway. Mortal lives are messy—These two siblings are fighting over their father’s fortune even though it’ll go to the youngest in secret. They just haven’t realized it yet.”

Soonyoung didn’t see the appeal.

Soonyoung saw you again mere days later.

You’d been in the market when he finally found you, bargaining for fresh fruit with the woman behind the stall. She laughed at you after a moment, and, judging by the smile on your face, you’d managed to convince her to throw in a little extra. Yet when you turned and saw him, that smile fell for barely a second before coming back, brighter than before. You made your way over to him, careful of your bag as you threw your arms around him. He felt the warmth of your body as it pressed against his, and suddenly the sun didn’t feel so warm anymore.

“Soonyoung!” You drew back, still beaming at him. “I thought you’d left.”

His hands fell to rest on your hips. “I said I’d be back. I just… had to handle some things.”

Your gaze had fallen to the vial around his neck. “What’s this?”

“From a friend,” he said, a hand clasping around it protectively. It felt cold underneath his fingers.

“Someone I need to worry about?”

He chuckled. “Nope.” He couldn’t compare to you anyhow. “Are you busy?”

“Not anymore.” You shifted your bag. “I just need to take this home and then I’m all yours. Do you want to walk with me?”

He was glad to go anywhere with you. You slipped your hand into his, palm pressed against his own, and started to guide him down the street. Casual as could be, you started to fill him in on everything that you’d heard over the past few days. The feud between two nobles in the richer part of the town—two brothers who’d always been stuck up. Their father was on their deathbed now, and his third born, his daughter, had been devoted to caring for him. Whether it be to nurse him back to health, or to make sure his passing was as peaceful as it could go, no one could be sure. You admitted your hopes that the fortune would go to her: she was always kind to you and everyone else she met, from what you could tell. Aside from that… One of your neighbors was sure her baby would be coming any day now. Something about it feeling right. You’d be bringing soup to her later tonight to help give her a little extra strength for the coming days. There’d been men passing through town—not like Soonyoung, but gruffer. Rough around the edges. They had yet to do anything, but plenty of people were on edge because of it.

“It feels like I’ve missed a lot.”

“Well… You wouldn’t if you stayed.” You squeezed his hand a little. “I know it’s a big decision… But I’d be happy to see you around more often.”

Soonyoung found himself smiling a little. Such little time together, and he thought you might be feeling something for him, too. “I’ll think about it.”

“Good. My friends want to meet you sometime. Meet the cutie I have my eye on.” You rolled your eyes a little. “Seriously… They act like I’m a recluse.”

Soonyoung ran his thumb along the back of your hand. “If you want me to meet them…”

“Maybe later,” you said. “Gotta be sure I’m right about you first.”

He blinked. “Right…? About what?”

“That you’re… right.” You’d grown flustered. “That this wasn’t just me being drunk and seeing a cute stranger and—and being curious, I guess.”

You’d let go of his hand for a moment, and he swore he ached to feel it again. You pushed open the gate to your home, small enough that Soonyoung could probably leap over it if he tried. He waited for a moment, watching as you stopped and turned to face him. With a nod of your head, he followed after you quickly. You unlocked your door, pushing it open and letting him in before you secured it back in place.

Although your home was small, it was cozy. He watched as you drew back the curtains at your windows, where he could see a green yard behind it, plants growing. Some flowers—although those looked more to be wildflowers that you’d begun to tend to. Vegetables, mainly. Maybe that was why you were mainly buying fruit in the city. He watched as you draped your shawl over a chair, taking your bag to sort things out and put them into the hanging baskets above your kitchen space. Apples, pears, a bowl of berries… You had a place for most things. Soonyoung busied himself with looking around further. You had a little sitting area near your front door with an old, slightly frumpy couch that still looked comfortable to curl up in. A chair that sat closer to the currently extinguished fireplace, where he realized you could comfortably cook if you chose to do so. There was dwindling firewood in a pile nearby, already chopped. Was that your doing? Or someone else in the town? Soonyoung wanted to know. You had said that he was the only person who caught your eye, but…

He pushed the thought aside. He didn’t think you’d lead him on if there were other people—plus you had said your friends were teasing you. He’d trust you for now. Soonyoung ran a hand over the back of your couch, a thick quilt draped over it.

“That was my mother’s,” you said. “She made it with my grandmother when she was expecting me. She’d always drape it over herself whenever she was caring for me.” You set your bag aside. “She gave it to me when I moved out after she’d added more to it.”

He traced his fingers over a square that had a flower sewn into it. “That’s sweet.”

“I think she wants me to pass it down to my child one day,” you said. “Add my own squares. She taught me once, actually. I think I will.”

His face grew hotter, and he stepped away, distracting himself with a little carved animal that was sitting on your counter. “Did you make this?”

You’d giggled, and made your way over. “Mhm. It’s not very good, but… My grandmother had books of animals. It’s a tiger.” You held it up. “I’ve never actually seen one, but they say the God of the Sun’s accompanied by a tiger wherever he goes.” For a moment, you looked between him and the little wooden tiger. You reached for his hand a moment later, pressing it into his palm and curling his fingers around. “Why don’t you keep it?”

“Huh?” He looked down at it. “But it’s yours.”

“And now it’s yours.” You smiled at him. “You can look at it and think of me.”

He would. He’d keep it with him forever now. Soonyoung turned his attention to the window again. “You grow things?”

“Most people do.” You made your way to the back door, unlatching it and pulling it open. Soonyoung followed you out and watched as you admired your tomatoes. “I’m not great at it, but I’ve managed to keep a few things alive so far.”

The cucumbers you were growing seemed to be doing fine, as were the green beans that stretched up their poles. He saw the way the cucumber plants were crawling up your fence a bit, giving them a structure to grow against and protection from the elements. You had a separate section out for carrots that were struggling a bit more, but faring way better than the tomatoes you’d been trying to grow. Your lettuce, however, was definitely thriving way more than the rest of your garden.

“It’s not a lot,” you said, looking at the peas you’d been growing. “But it helps. I sell lettuce down at the market and it usually fetches pretty well…”

“You said you were making soup?”

Suddenly, you snapped back to face him. “Oh my god, the soup!” You rushed back inside, digging through a low cabinet for a heavy-looking pot. “I’m yours,” you said as you turned back to him, “as long as we talk here.”

He chuckled. “I’m okay with that.”

You rested a hand on his chest. “Tomorrow,” you said, “we can go out. I’m sorry I forgot about it earlier.”

Something about you was so endearing. You’d pulled out a cutting board and a sharpened knife before turning to Soonyoung. When you asked if he knew how to cook, he said he wasn’t very good at it. With a roll of your eyes, you said you’d teach him later. All he needed to do was slice ingredients while you fetched water for this soup. If he wanted to, he could start the fire for you once you’d set everything up, and you’d take over with the harder parts of it all. The good thing about this soup, you told him, was that it could be easy to throw together. So the two of you got to work: Soonyoung with carefully slicing carrots for you, and you with setting up… well, everything else. He listened to the way you hummed to yourself as you worked, and he wished he could know the songs in your heart. If he asked Jihoon, he’d turn him away.

How was he supposed to face Jihoon from now on…? Hansol wouldn’t hide Soonyoung’s feelings for you as they began to blossom more and more with each passing second.

“Oh… Soonyoung.” You’d come back to him while he was trying to slice potatoes, moving slow as he worked. “Here,” you reached out, hands over his own to guide them. “It’s easier if you do it like this…”

Mingyu would adore you, at least. Despite not having a need to eat, Mingyu enjoyed cooking for the fun of it. Seokmin joined him sometimes, too. At least Soonyoung got to eat the delicious things they made. A second later, Soonyoung realized that you were bullshitting him: he was maybe slow in order to watch his fingers, but you were doing the exact same thing he was doing.

“You just want to—”

“Be close to you?” You smiled. “I do.”

He chuckled. “You don’t have to make up a reason,” he said, gently nudging your hands away. “You can be close to me if you want.”

You let out a happy hum as you looked at him, leaning in just close enough to kiss him if he were lucky. “Good to know.” And then you pulled away just as he leaned in to kiss you, giggling as you went.

What has he gotten himself into?

Junhui’s domain was just as vibrant and full of life as one would expect from the God of the Harvest. The number of plants growing would make Soonyoung’s head spin if he tried to count them all, and, since he wasn’t much of a cook anyway, he merely left it at ones he could easily recognize. Most days, Junhui could be found in the center of it all, resting underneath a pavilion decorated with sheer white curtains trimmed with matching lace. The red of his flowing garb stood out against it all, and Soonyoung often saw the way the fabric flowed as Junhui danced for himself and only himself. His eyes were shut as he let his body move as he pleased, content to let inspiration take hold as it desired. There was a bottle of wine set atop a nearby table—a sign that Minghao had been here recently, since Jun always kept his bottles elsewhere for safe keeping. He had to wonder what the two had talked about.

“Is this about her?”

Jun had slowed to a stop, opening his eyes as he looked to where Soonyoung lingered among the trees. He had gotten it in one, and the knowing smile on his face said it. He gestured for Soonyoung to come forward and join him as he settled into a cushioned chair off to one side, right next to that bottle of wine.

Soonyoung settled into the other, and watched as his friend poured him a glass. “I have a favor to ask.”

“It’s her garden, isn’t it?” Jun hummed to himself, eyes twinkling a little. “Are you sure you want to get so close to a mortal?”

Soonyoung nodded. “Yes.”

“You were there for Jihoon,” he said, voice softer this time. “You had to be the one to calm him down before the tides were thrown out of balance.”

But I’ll be fine, Soonyoung wanted to say. He wouldn’t scorch the earth. He’d control himself. “Will you help her?”

Jun hummed to himself for a moment. “Perhaps.”

“That isn’t a yes—”

“What’s in your pocket?”

Soonyoung pulled out the little tiger figurine. Immediately, Jun began to coo over it, reaching out to get a closer look. He drew his hand back, unsure of whether he wanted to trust anyone with it… But he relented after a moment, letting Jun take it and hold it up to the light. He traced over the tiger stripes, smiling to himself all the while, so truly endeared by this little wooden tiger that you had made. It wasn’t perfect, and it looked much more like an average cat, but you had definitely tried when carving it.

“How cute,” he giggled. “No wonder you like her so much. Can she make a cat?”

Soonyoung furrowed his brow. “What?”

“I’ll do it if she makes me a cat later. Say it’s for a friend.”

“I’m not—”

“Please?” Jun had smiled at him, pressing the tiger back into his hand. “I’ll bless her garden extra strong if you can bring me one that’s a cat.”

Soonyoung sighed. “Okay,” he said. “I’ll ask her to make you a cat. I’ll say it’s a present. Will you bless her garden tonight, please? I’m going to see her first thing because I want to see her face when she notices it improving.”

Jun had given his promise. Soonyoung downed his wine before hugging him tight, and left Jun’s domain quickly. He’d passed by Seungkwan, who’d been deep in conversation with Hansol and Seungcheol when he saw him. With a wave, he continued on, only to see Hansol wrinkle his nose again when he glanced back one final time. It must be from the love. Which was strange: Hansol had always said love was sweet. Why wrinkle his nose…? Soonyoung let the thought go before he could dwell too much on it. He didn’t need to doubt his feelings for you at all. Mortals lived shorter lives, which meant that Soonyoung needed to treasure his time with you while he had it. Which meant he needed to go rest before he went down to the mortal realm—

“Soonyoung.”

Wonwoo stood at the entry to his domain, having been waiting for him. He adjusted the collar of his shirt, tucked tight against his neck, and watched him from behind those wide spectacles. Wonwoo said nothing as he drew his hood back from over his head, a thick book held in his other arm as he awaited for Soonyoung to come closer. For the God of Time, he always looked as though he’d switch domains with Jihoon or Seokmin at any moment; dark fabrics flowing off of him and shining a little within the light. Yet behind that stoic exterior, Soonyoung knew that he was warm (even if he wasn’t so now). He knew a lot of things beyond the knowledge he presided over. He knew the past, the present, and the future…

Which must be why he was here now. “Yes?”

He nodded toward the entry to his own domain. “Come with me.”

The moment Wonwoo turned his back, Soonyoung hung his head and held back the urge to groan with annoyance. He needed to see you tomorrow, which meant he needed to rest because going down to the mortal realm wasn’t exactly the easiest thing in the world—especially when he had to work extra hard to repress the godly aura that had attracted you to him in the first place. He needed you to like him for him (and, so far, you seemed to). Yet he followed after Wonwoo, passing through the shimmering doorway and into the endless library in which Wonwoo often resided. The quiet ticking of a clock that Soonyoung never saw seemed to echo about, and he stepped onto the clock face (not the source of the ticking: Soonyoung had checked) that was embedded into the floor. The seconds ticked by, one by one, and Soonyoung watched as Wonwoo began to search for another book. He climbed a ladder, a fox made of translucent, pale blue magic leaping up beside him. It shut its eyes and glowed a little brighter, and Soonyoung watched Wonwoo pet its head with a quiet thanks.

“What do you want?” He called out.

“Hold on.” He pulled down another one, thick and just as heavy as the one he’d been carrying. He descended that ladder, and came to the desk in the middle of the room. “You need to stop seeing this human.”

Soonyoung stared at him, dumbfounded. “What?”

“Joshua should have told you to stop, but he didn’t. So I will,” Wonwoo began to flip through pages. “She doesn’t have much time. She’ll have less if you continue to interfere.”

You’d live less…? “You don’t know that—”

“It’s written.” Wonwoo slid the book across the table to him. “You can’t rewrite a person’s life. We’ve tried. All we can do is make sure that things go according to plan—”

“No!” He shut the book, shoving it across the desk. “I’m not going to give her up. I’ll find a way.”

“You’re acting like a child,” Wonwoo kept his voice even and calm. “If I need to get Seungcheol involved—”

“You don’t need to get him involved,” another voice sounded from the entryway. Soonyoung turned, and in strolled Mingyu, hands tucked into his pockets. “Seungcheol wouldn’t be able to stop him anyway.”

Wonwoo furrowed his brow. “Mingyu, you remembered what happened last time—”

“And I know that it’ll all be all right.” Mingyu stopped next to Soonyoung. He pulled out a small golden pendant that hung from a long chain, teeming with a mythical energy that was powerful. “Because Soonyoung will give her this, and your stupid book will change to see fit. It’s happened before—”

“That was an accident.”

“Well, accident it again.” Mingyu dropped the pendant into Soonyoung’s hand. “It’ll give her a little extra luck. A longer life, if things go right.”

“You don’t know what you’re messing with, Mingyu,” Wonwoo glowered at him from behind those glasses, eyes cold as steel. The room felt as though it’d fallen a few degrees, too. “This could easily put her in further danger—”

“It won’t,” Mingyu said, cocky as ever. The God of Freedom fit him just as much as his other titles. “Because luck will be on her side now.”

Before he could watch the two argue further, Soonyoung ducked out, throwing his thanks over his shoulder as he returned to his own domain. He felt the sun kiss his face as he wandered in, holding up the pendant so that it’d shimmer in the light. He could already envision it against your skin, shining perfectly in the sun as he stole you away for the day. Maybe he’d find a way to bring you here, to his domain, if he could. Then again… Seungcheol had banned mortals for good reason. He’d seen the destruction that they could bring, and this world wasn’t suited for them to live in anyhow. Still… He wished that you could see it. All he wanted to do was curl up on the grass with you, and sleep under the sunshine of his own domain. If he could find a way, he’d do it in a heartbeat.

Instead, he threw himself down onto his own chaise, curling up to rest for a while. He already missed the soft plush of your couch and the quilt that you shared together as you two enjoyed a bowl of soup together. He’d never admit it to any of the others, but your cooking would outdo Mingyu’s any day (although, knowing him, Mingyu would claim he was only saying it because he liked you). Perhaps if Mingyu wanted, he could come around… After Soonyoung had become yours. If stupid handsome Mingyu had shown up, then there was no telling if you’d stay so in love with Soonyoung or if stupid, charmingly handsome, clumsy Mingyu would somehow manage to steal your heart.

(It was childish to think, but Soonyoung pouted as he drifted off nonetheless.)

By the time he woke up, he knew the sun would soon be rising on the world below. Which meant that he needed to go soon. Jun would hopefully be returning as Soonyoung was leaving, and Soonyoung hoped to get a glance at your garden before you did. It wouldn’t be thriving—not immediately—but Soonyoung knew it’d look a little more verdant. Maybe the tomatoes would have grown a little more, though, so that you could be proud of them.

Jihoon stood in his way, though. “Soonyoung—”

“I remember what happened to them,” he said. “And I know you want me to stop.”

“And you won’t.” Jihoon pressed his lips together. “I know.”

“I think I love her,” he said. “I’ve… I’ve never felt like this before.”

Jihoon shut his eyes for a moment. He remembered how it felt, too: that rush of emotion that was so new to him. No one else had warned him about the more painful ones that would overtake him. No one but Seungcheol, who had lived that grief over and over again when wars started and ended. Seungcheol had been hardened by it: Jihoon was merely a god who wanted to spin songs for his lovers and write lyrical poems for them, too. The crystal around his neck seemed to glow a little brighter, and he nodded after a moment.

“Be careful.”

Soonyoung promised he would. He paused, turning back to Jihoon as he reached out for the necklace. Most days, Jihoon would turn away. Today he stayed still, and watched as Soonyoung brushed his fingers over it, that tiny flame within it still burning as bright as it did so long ago. If Soonyoung shut his eyes, he could feel fingers pressing against his own, a forehead pressing against his. Whether it was Jihoon’s or his lover, he would never be certain. Soonyoung always thought it was his lover, though: their touch was softer than Jihoon’s, who didn’t hesitate to put Soonyoung in his place the same way brothers fought.

He drew his hand back. Would this be him one day? Holding onto a crystal filled with his lover’s life? He hoped not. He’d find a way to keep you with him. Jihoon ran out of time. Soonyoung, with Wonwoo’s warning, would not. He refused to.

Jihoon watched as Soonyoung took off, and he curled his hand around that crystal again. “I know.” He shut his eyes again, and he could feel the way his lover pressed their lips against his skin, gentle as could be. “I know,” he repeated. “I’ll keep watching over him.”

And then he could feel the curve of a smile, too, and he found himself smiling. The sadness in his soul would always be there, but at least his lover’s flame still kept it warm.

True to his plans, Soonyoung came to you again that day. Barely seconds after he’d knocked at your door, you had opened it and pulled him inside, gushing about your garden. He feigned surprise well when you showed him how your tomatoes seemed to have found a new sense of life. He’d thank Jun when he saw him next: your joy was worth it. He reached into his pocket, finding the necklace as it pooled into a tiny pile.

“I… brought you something.”

You turned to him, clearly surprised. “Huh?”

“I saw it and I thought of you,” he unraveled the chain, holding it up. The round pendant twisted, shining in the sunlight, and he saw the way you lit up at it in pure shock. It… truthfully looked as though it would be expensive.

“Soonyoung…”

“Can I…?” He unlatched the clasp, and you turned with a tiny smile. Carefully, he draped it around your neck, fixing the clasp. His fingers brushed against the back of your neck, and he stepped back. “There.”

You turned back to face him, smiling a little. The chain was longer than he expected, the pendant falling closer to your chest than your collarbones, but you looked just as radiant as you always did. “Thank you,” you said quietly. “I’ll treasure it always.”

The tiniest flower of jealousy seemed to bloom within Soonyoung’s stomach. All you knew was this had been Soonyoung’s present to you… and yet all Soonyoung could think about was stupid Mingyu’s face, smiling brightly. He’d never mention that you loved it to Mingyu. He’d never heard the end of it if he did.

“Actually… I want to show you something.”

Soonyoung followed you out of your house, closing the door behind him and immediately hearing an unsettling noise when he did. When trying to open it, you discovered that he’d messed with it so it didn’t sit correctly anymore. You made a small joke about Soonyoung not knowing his own strength (oh, if only you knew) before you took his hand anyway.

“I’ll have someone come around eventually,” you said. “Don’t worry about it.”

So he wouldn’t. He trusted you, and he figured he would merely break it further if he tried. You took his hand, and began to guide him out of the town, saying something about how this would be a walk. He asked casually enough about if you would carve a little cat out of wood, since he had a friend who saw the tiger and loved it so much. You had agreed with a warm giggle, saying that you would do anything for him, before you started to tell him stories as you entered the woods together. In your youth, you would get lost within these woods alongside your friends. The sun would be setting as you all found your way home, your friends scared of the witches that the bigger kids always said lived in the woods. You, on the other hand, had never been.

“One day, I got separated from everyone,” you kicked a pebble along the path. “It was getting darker, and I started getting scared that I might not find my way home. And then… I saw it. There was this glowing bear in the woods. And it looked at me, and I felt like it was telling me to follow it.”

Soonyoung already knew what it was: the guardian of forests. Seungkwan’s doing, no doubt. Seungkwan had always found some way to protect children through sending a benevolent bear to guide them out of the forests when they were lost. It was surrounded by this warm glow as another way to tell them that it was safe. Follow me, the aura said, I’ll protect you. It protected others too, according to Seungkwan, but it would always come to children when they needed it.

“I feel like I’ve always had a connection with nature because of it,” you said. The two of you had entered into a clearing within the forest, and you let go of his hand. “That’s why I’ve always dreamed of building a home here.” You spread your arms out, twirling in the sunlight before you stopped to face him again. “But for now, it’s where I come to think.”

“Do you come here often?” Soonyoung walked forward, taking in the sights.

It almost reminded him of his own domain a little bit. There were wildflowers springing up from the grass, dotting the area with little white and yellow and pink buds. He could hear the brook in the distance if he listened closely, and the sound of animals running to and fro. If it were a little brighter, it’d be like home for him. Soonyoung turned to watch you as you seemed to thrive here, crouching down to admire the flowers. He could hear the music of the earth if he listened close enough: the bubbles in the brook, the scratching of a squirrel in the trees, the wind as it whistled…

“Do you dance?”

You turned, before standing back up. “Do you?” You smiled. “Are you asking me to dance this time, Soonyoung?”

He smiled, and offered his hands to you. The smile you gave him in return could light the sun once over, and you placed your hands in his own. He drew you closer to him, guiding you happily.

“You’re better when I’m not drunk,” you teased. “Is this what you do for a living?”

“Something like that,” he laughed warmly. He squeezed your hands a little, twirling you out from him. “So… Why do you like me?” He brought you back in, “You said you didn’t like the other people here. Why me?”

You hummed for a moment, thinking over the question. “At first, you just… You stood out. But now… I think you’re sweet. You came back to town, and I realized I really liked dancing with you that night.”

“I came back to town because I liked you, too,” he confessed. “I thought… I didn’t want to miss this chance.”

“Really?” You giggled softly. “So why did you like me, then?”

Because you seemed to outshine life itself, and he needed to know why. “I like your stories.”

“Well… Good,” you hummed. “Is that all?”

He smiled, drawing you in closer. “And I like you.”

Something about it made you laugh. “You’re so honest,” you said. “I like that. Most people dance around their feelings for far too long.” You wrapped your arms around his shoulders, gazing into his eyes. “The girl at the marketplace counting petals and wondering if the other girl loves or not despite knowing the answer. The boy that was too shy to tell his friend that he loves him until his friend says it first…” You hummed. “Why waste time when you’ve found your actual soulmate?”

“Is that what I am?” Soonyoung’s hands rested on your hips. “Your soulmate?”

You smiled at him again. “Is that what you think I am?”

Soonyoung leaned in, kissing you instead, and you kissed back eagerly. Soulmate, he thought to himself. It was as though Hansol had wrapped a string around the two of you, tying you together in a hidden way that only his heart knew to be true. He felt as though something deep within him had yearned for you since the moment the two of you met. You might be his soulmate…

Soonyoung liked the sound of that.

Hansol had come into Soonyoung’s domain that night when he returned home, and immediately gagged when he saw him. Soonyoung had looked up to where Hansol had hunched over, a wrist pressed against his mouth as he leaned against a pillar near the entry point to his domain. Was the smell truly that strong? Jihoon had said Hansol had known that Soonyoung was in love, and apparently he reeked of the smell. Jihoon once smelled like this, too—that had to be what Hansol was smelling. The love of a god to a mortal, something truly awful apparently.

“Soonyoung,” he said, catching his breath. “You’re going to get yourself hurt.”

Soonyoung groaned. “Why does everyone keep telling me that?” He sat up from his space in the grass, where he’d been daydreaming about the day he spent with you. If he closed his eyes, he could pretend he was in that clearing again, kissing you.

“I mean it,” Hansol said. “Dude. I don’t want to tell you this, but I spoke to the others. Wonwoo and Seokmin both agreed that no matter what you do, she’s going to die because of it. Even Joshua admitted it—”

With a wave of his hand, Hansol was whisked out of his domain, and the entryway was temporarily severed. He turned over onto his side, shutting his eyes again. Everyone was against this, but why? If he was truly putting you in danger, then they should tell him what it was. That way, Soonyoung would be able to find a way to protect you. All the others ever did was tell him to stop, and they never gave him a real reason past a vague idea that you would die. All mortals would die one day, and Soonyoung just wanted to enjoy the time had with you before he lost you. If he lost you. Maybe, by then, he would have found a way to truly save you—and not in the way Jihoon had done.

He started to see you daily. Some days the two of you would walk together, hand in hand, through the town. He would accompany you to the market, and you would teach him how to haggle, and he would carry your bags back home like the gentleman he was trying to be for you. You never did get that door fixed, but you had said you didn’t mind it. It just meant you had to lift it a little when you opened or closed it, and that unwanted visitors wouldn’t be able to get in so easily. He met your friends once, as they ate dinner with the two of you and teased you endlessly for falling so hard for Soonyoung. You didn’t even deny it anymore, and Soonyoung would smile so hard that his cheeks hurt. They pointed out that he seemed to love you just as much, and Soonyoung didn’t deny it, either. He just kissed you passionately once the two of you were left alone again, happy to have your company. Other days, the two of you would rest in your home together. You would read poetry to him sometimes, because he loved to listen to the sound of your voice. Everything was always prettier when it came from you. He watched you carve the cat for Jun one day, explaining everything as you did. Your mother had taught you how to carve these things, and you were a little better at normal cats than you were tigers. Soonyoung passed it to Jun one day and saw the look of pure delight in his eyes when he looked it over, thanking him for the gift.

Seokmin asked to meet you one day. At first, Soonyoung had been hesitant… But he let him accompany him down to your home. When you answered the door, you’d almost greeted Soonyoung with a kiss until you saw his companion.

“This is my friend,” Soonyoung said. “He was at the festival with me, actually. He was passing through town, and—”

“I’m Seokmin,” he introduced himself, taking your hand. “I’ve heard a lot about you.”

Yet the moment his touch met yours, Soonyoung could see that Seokmin’s smile twitched a little. All too easily, he recovered and followed you into your home. You always made extra for dinner, since your neighbor had a baby to take care of now, and you would try to take food to her and her partner when you could. If not you, then other people did—everyone looked out for one another here. Seokmin listened to you attentively as you talked over dinner, asking questions about how he knew Soonyoung (he worked alongside him before). Seokmin seemed to take the role of entertainer with ease, always knowing the right thing to say to make you laugh. All Soonyoung could do was sit by and fall even deeper in love with you.

The two of them left your house, making their way out of town so they could return home, and Soonyoung saw the way Seokmin changed within an instant. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing.” Seokmin continued forward. “I see why you adore her so much.” He paused, though, and turned to face Soonyoung in the dying light of day. “You want to see her again, don’t you?”

Soonyoung smiled to himself. “I always do.”

“You should go, then. I’m sure she wants to see you, too. I’ll go home by myself.”

Soonyoung could only thank him, turning on his heel to return to you. You had greeted him warmly, and the moment that the door was shut behind the two of you, you’d taken him into your arms and kissed him passionately. His back bumped against the door, and his hands fell to your waist immediately.

“Your friend is nice,” you said when you stopped for a moment, “but I had to fight myself to keep my hands off of you.”

He chuckled, drawing you back in for another kiss. “Don’t you always?”

You playfully swatted at his side, pressing a quick peck against his lips. “With you, I really have to.” Your hands slipped underneath his shirt. “Soonyoung, I—”

Your fingertips traced his bare skin, and suddenly he understood what it felt to want another person deeply. That deep, devoted need to be closer to you than he had ever been before. He stared at you, and he realized that you felt it, too. No wonder you always found some way to touch him. He’d kissed you passionately before, that need building within the core of his being to be with you, but not like this. It felt hot and heavy and his head felt suddenly so much foggier than it had ever been, his mind centered only on you, you, you. He drew you back in for another kiss, deeper than before.

“Soonyoung,” you said after a moment. “Do you want me?”

He did. More than anything now. He was thankful for his godly strength, even when suppressing everything else about himself, as he lifted you into his arms with ease. He carried you away, your arms hooked around his neck as you giggled. With every taunting kiss you placed against his neck, he grew giddier, and he stopped hesitating once he threw you onto your bed. You had lured in him fully, and he was more than ready to be yours in every possible way.

Which must have been why he felt so guilty come morning. He’d woken up, turning over to admire the beautiful sight of your bare skin. He wished to study you further, to have a mental map of every dip and freckle and blemish your skin had so that he could worship every single part of you fully. But he needed to return home, at least to attend to what he needed to. He leaned in, kissing your lips for as long as he could spare before he left your bed. It had woken you up, and you watched him get dressed in the early light of day, chuckling to yourself at the marks you’d left on him.

“Can’t you just… stay here with me?” You reached for his hand, drawing him in again. “Forever?”

A temptation so, so sweet… but one he had to turn down again. “Maybe tomorrow,” he said. He could do this, he thought to himself. He could live a double life. He just needed to get things in order. “I don’t want to go.”

You let out a sigh—not disappointed or annoyed, but tired. “I know.” You kissed his knuckles. “Soonyoung, I—”

He kissed you one more time, and he felt the way you smiled into it after a moment. He drew back, pressing one final kiss against your forehead. “Tomorrow,” he promised. “I’ll come back to you.”

Your smile wavered for barely a second. “I know you will. Until tomorrow.”

Hansol wrinkled his nose again when Soonyoung passed by him. Jihoon looked concerned. Soonyoung just returned to his own realm to do what he needed to do. All too soon, he curled up on a warm patch of grass, and fell asleep, lost in a beautiful sense of bliss he already ached to feel again.

Jihoon yanked Soonyoung from his sleep without a second thought, and didn’t speak once as he dragged him out of his domain. Soonyoung had barely woken up, yet followed Jihoon dutifully. Sometimes the gods had these meetings for whatever reason. Typically it was when war was coming, because Seungcheol would always go down below, unseen by mortals, to watch the bloodshed. To circle war tables and sometimes push for something that would end the fighting sooner. It was invigorating. It was draining. But Jeonghan was in charge until peace came, in which Jeonghan would go down and bring Seungcheol home. Of course, not all of this pertained to the others so much as it was just a reminder that they had jobs to do. That just because Seungcheol was leaving was not an excuse to play around.

Yet Jihoon shoved him toward the middle of the room without a word. Soonyoung realized that all eyes were on him—save for Seungcheol, who was staring up at a mirror that Joshua must have brought in as an alternate to his pools of water, and Jeonghan, who was watching Seungcheol.

“What’s going on?”

“It’s over, Soonyoung.” Seungcheol turned back to him, pity in his eyes. Guilt, too. A look that said I should have never let it get this far. “I’m sorry.”

Soonyoung looked up at the mirror, something pulling him toward it. He tried to focus harder on the blurry scene. It was always harder for anyone who wasn’t Joshua (or a save few others) to look into a person’s life and see what was happening. But he saw it. Fire. Your town. Your home. You, in your bed, waking up to the sound of someone trying to get in. The vision was lost as he stumbled back. “No—”

Seungcheol took his hand. “Soonyoung, I’m sorry—”

Seokmin stepped forward. “She was marked for death. I felt it when I touched her hand. I’m sorry, Soonyoung, I couldn’t remove it. It’s in fate’s hands now—”

“No!”

Soonyoung tore his hand free from Seungcheol’s grip and took off running. Despite the lunge Mingyu had made for him, Soonyoung was desperate. He threw his elbow into the man’s ribs. Even gods had weak spots when it came to another god hitting them, after all. Soonyoung needed to get to you now, before something worse could happen. He landed below, barely masking his aura as he took off running toward your home.

Your house was ruined by the time he got there. It was still burning, but he screamed your name. The door was open, and he rushed in to see your ransacked home. Broken pots and ceramics, furniture upturned and strew everywhere, curtains ripped to shreds… But the back door was open. He went through it and saw your poor, still-burning garden. Yet no you. The ground was disheveled near the fence, trailing up the side of it too. You got out.

You got out.

Soonyoung hopped the fence with ease, taking off running in the direction that the dirt led. Toward the forest—you’d ran away. You must have. He just kept yelling your name as loudly as he could, listening for something, anything, that told him you were alive. If he focused on the little wooden tiger in his pocket, he could still feel you. Everyone had a connection to their creations, and he just had to follow it to you. This golden string that was wrapped around his own soul and drawing him forward. Yet he heard crunching, further from the twigs and leaves underneath his own feet. He wasn’t alone.

He saw you first, lying on the ground in the clearing that you’d kissed him in. And in a different direction, he saw a man, making his way toward you. All it took was the glint of a knife for Soonyoung to drop his aura.

“Get the FUCK away from her!”

And within seconds, the man had burst into flames. Soonyoung stood, the sound of his scream echoing in his ears, and he turned his attention back to you. The man collapsed to the ground, dying and burning and filling the air with this disgusting smell that’d haunt him forever. Yet Soonyoung just made his way forward to you, growing more desperate with those last few steps. He dropped to his knees next to your crumpled body, staring at you for just a moment. You’d curled in on yourself, chest slowly rising and falling. You were alive. All Soonyoung could do was say your name once more as he reached for you, suddenly so much more helpless than he’d ever been before.

“I’m here,” he said, reaching for you. “I’m here, I’m here…”

Your life was fading, and he could see it in your eyes as they seemed to grow dimmer. Yet the light that was starting to shine around him reflected in them. “... Soonyoung?”

“It’s me,” he said, a hand cupping your face. He could feel powerful presences growing closer to him. The others were coming. “What happened?”

Before you could answer, he suddenly noticed the dark stain at your abdomen. He reached a hand down, and pulled his hand away to see dark blood covering his fingers. Oh no. Oh no, oh no, oh no—

“I’m sorry,” you wheezed out, hand taking his, your own blood smearing against your skin. “I… I tried to run, Soonyoung. I’m lucky. I… I heard one of them trying to break in, and…”

“Who did this to you?”

“Bandits.” You pressed your cheek against his hand. “Came into town yesterday. Didn’t mention it.” Your brows furrowed together in pain, one of your hands dropping down to your wound. “Didn’t—Didn’t wanna scare you…”

“No,” he whispered, voice cracking, “nonono… Don’t,” he clutched your hand in his, “don’t go.”

“Soonie,” your hand squeezed his. Your eyes were welling up with tears that he could see as his light grew brighter. “It hurts.”

He could fix this. He had to fix this. It wasn’t your time yet—Seokmin had to be wrong. It couldn’t be your time yet. Not when you had so much more life to live. Not now.

“Soonyoung!” Seokmin’s voice rang out across the clearing. And then he heard him say his name again, softer as he grew closer. Seokmin kneeled down on the other side of you. “It’s time,” he said. He reached toward you, “I have to take her—”

“No!” Soonyoung slapped his hand away. He felt the air grow hotter around him. The sky was bright with fire and ash, and even the moon overhead seemed to glow brighter now. “You aren’t taking her!”

Wonwoo stepped forward, too. “Soonyoung, we warned you—”

“You aren’t touching her!”

Fire crackled around Soonyoung, and he watched as Seokmin and Wonwoo backed off immediately. Sweat began to bead at Soonyoung’s browline, and the world seemed so, so desperately hot. Even the others had recognized it, as Soonyoung had seen the way they were tugging at their clothes and wiping away sweat. Jihoon even seemed pained, his own aura glowing a little brighter. Soonyoung’s gaze fell to you again, one hand falling down to your wound. Maybe… Maybe if he used a little of his fire, he could fix this. He could close your wound, and Joshua would heal you, because Joshua always supported him, and you would live. You had to live. He couldn’t let you go. He wasn’t Jihoon: Soonyoung was not as strong as Jihoon. He felt tears run down his face, and he let you a sob, pulling you into his arms, face buried in your shoulder. You were still alive in his arms, he just had to find a way to keep you there.

“Don’t—Don’t cry.” You chuckled weakly. “Can’t cry over me, Soonie.” He felt your hand push between the two of you, and he drew back to see the pain on your face. “Guess… Guess the girl who gave you this won, huh?”

… What? Soonyoung felt a tug around his neck. He stared at you, and then looked down to where your hand had clasped around that little golden vial.

“I hope she’s nice to you,” your voice grew quieter. And then you let out a whine, eyes squeezing shut. “Fuck—”

Soonyoung didn’t think. He ripped the vial from around his throat, the corded knot coming undone with ease. He ripped the cork out with his teeth.

“Soonyoung, what are you—” Minghao had spoken up. “Soonyoung!”

“Let him.” Joshua hid a smile, standing furthest away from the group.

Soonyoung could hear someone questioning Joshua, but his eyes met yours as he squeezed you gently. You’d opened your eyes again after a moment, tears running down your cheeks. He took a deep breath. “Trust me,” he said, “and I’ll tell you everything.”

Your life continued to fade within his arms, and Soonyoung knew he needed to act now. He pushed the vial between your lips, and watched the golden liquid drain into your mouth. He watched as you weakly swallowed it, entrusting your life into Soonyoung’s hands without hesitating. Soonyoung dropped the bottle onto the ground, and watched, waiting for something to happen. All too soon, it did as your chest began to glow. A ray of golden light, so similar to Soonyoung’s own, sparked up from within it, and then began to spread throughout your body. Suddenly, that fading reversed. Your life grew stronger—stronger than it had been before. The wound in your stomach looked as though it had the sun’s rays stretch from it before he watched the skin pull itself back together, the wound disappearing under blood until it faded into nothing but soft skin.

He hoped you would look him in the eyes, suddenly alive again. Instead, your eyes fluttered shut, and your head lulled. But he could feel the hum of your life force as it grew stronger and stronger underneath his fingers. He could see you breathing. Soonyoung turned, looking to Joshua and calling out to him with a quiet “Shua—”

Who merely smiled and raised a hand, waving before disappearing into thin air. Immediately, it was followed by the yelling of angry and confused gods before they started to follow after him… Except for Soonyoung. He turned back to you, pressing his forehead against yours. Beside him, he could feel Jihoon crouching down.

“I’m sorry,” he said when he looked up, “that this couldn’t be done for—”

“Life changes,” Jihoon simply said. “Joshua learns.”

Suddenly, it clicked. Joshua had always seen this coming. Soonyoung looked to you, and hoisted you into his arms with that same godly strength he used to break your door and to carry you to bed before. He saw something split, though: the you in his arms was not the you left on the ground. Had this happened when he was given godhood? Or was he made differently? He’d have to ask Seungcheol sometime. But he paused, paying respects to your mortal form before he turned to Jihoon. The rain had begun to finally begun, the distant smoke and fire having begun to die down. Jihoon stood beside him, and looked to the distance.

“Let’s go home.”

Underneath the warm sunlight, you woke up in a daze. One minute you had felt yourself clinging to that last thread of life, and now…

“Good morning.”

Soonyoung kneeled beside you, a hand cupping your face. He looked at you so, so lovingly now. You realized after a moment, though, that something was… off about him. He seemed to have this stronger aura that surrounded him. The same one that had drawn you to him that first night, but seemed to disappear when he returned to you. He felt warmer, too, underneath your fingertips as you reached up, taking your face into his hands. Maybe even more radiant, if you were honest, but Soonyoung had always been radiant in your eyes. He smiled at you, leaning in to press his forehead against your own. Your memories were foggy, but you remembered Soonyoung clinging to you. The sound of him yelling at others, and this weird, warm feeling that overtook you for a moment before it was frightened away. Then you were fading and fighting…

Now you were here with your lover.

“Where am I?” You asked after a moment, once Soonyoung had drawn away. “Is this… death?” Then you paused. “Soonyoung, did they get you—”

He merely laughed, so soft and warm and welcoming. “I have… a lot that I need to tell you. Please don’t be mad.”

Your lover was literally a god. The same god you had been celebrating that night in the center of town when you drunkenly tripped over your feet and into his arms. Talk about full of himself (you’d have to tease him over it later). Soonyoung told you everything, though. For as long as he could remember, he’d been the God of the Sun and the God of Dance. So when he told you that he was a dancer, he wasn’t technically lying… It just happened to go a little beyond that. The man he had brought to you once, Seokmin, was the God of Death and the Underworld, always looking after those who depart from life with a warm hand to guide them onward. He’d almost taken you a few days ago when Soonyoung found you, but… You technically owed your life, whatever it was now, to Joshua, the God of Life and of Medicine.

“I saw what was going to happen,” Joshua had confirmed Soonyoung’s suspicions casually enough. Soonyoung had brought you to him because you wanted to thank him yourself. “I watched Jihoon lose his lover. I wasn’t going to let it happen again.”

“Jihoon…?”

Said god lingered around the doorway to Joshua’s domain, having followed you and Soonyoung in. Soonyoung drew away from you, just enough to turn and look at him.

“My brother,” Soonyoung said. “They’re all my brothers, I mean, but… Jihoon’s different.”

Jihoon’s face went red at the sappy way that Soonyoung had said it, so genuine and endeared to his beloved friend. All Soonyoung could do was laugh, and Jihoon pouted. “Don’t say it like that,” he said, a hand curling around the crystal that hung around his neck. “She shouldn’t like me. I tried to stop this—”

“You had to try and stop this,” Joshua piped up. “Everyone else kind of had to try. Except Mingyu, but Mingyu… Mingyu does whatever he wants.”

“That pendant’s actually from him,” Jihoon said, a tiny smirk on his face. “So technically—”

Soonyoung let out a groan, “Don’t say it!”

Joshua merely chuckled at the two, before his gaze met yours again. “All of this was going to happen one way or another. The bandits would come to your town. You would escape, but not get far before one found you… and then he would kill you. Soonyoung had stepped in before your life was cut even shorter.” He sat down on that chaise, draping an arm over the back of it. “And thankfully he never drank what I’d given him when all of this began.”

“I said I wouldn’t!”

Joshua laughed again, so light and airy. Suddenly, you understood why there were so many poems dedicated to him. “So now you’re… well…”

“One of us.”

Another man had entered, far more imposing than the others. Yet he had this soft look in his eyes when he saw you, especially when he saw the way Soonyoung stood so protectively close over you. No one could blame him—not after he watched your life nearly slip through his fingers. He made his way over to Joshua, standing rigid beside his chaise.

Soonyoung stared at him, brows drawing together. “What?”

“Potentially,” Seungcheol corrected himself. “It’s not in my hands. But whatever Joshua mixed up changed her entirely.” He stepped forward, closer to you, and gave you a proper once-over. You could feel what he meant, though: something about you felt… stronger. Warmer. More powerful, but in a vague sense, as thought your body was still a pile of clay to be molded. “And if she’s chosen… She’ll be one of us properly. Either sharing a domain with another, or taking it over entirely. It depends on what the upper powers want.”

You furrowed your brows and looked to Soonyoung for some sort of guidance. “Upper powers…?”

“Higher gods,” Joshua said. “While we’re all pretty powerful on our own, there’s bigger guys out there. One of them made the entire world as we know it. Think of it like this: Jeonghan’s the God of Creation, but he’s only a lesser one of it… and he’s more in charge of creation in a vague, artsy sense. Who knows,” Joshua said, lounging back. “Maybe you’ll be like that if you’re chosen.”

“And if she’s not?” Soonyoung said quietly. “They can’t get rid of her… Can they?”

Seungcheol exchanged a worried look to Joshua. “I’ll be speaking on your behalf today,” he said to Soonyoung. “I trust her. Anyone you’re willing to sacrifice everything for must be special.”

You’d hidden a smile at that, and seen the way Soonyoung’s cheeks flushed. Before anyone could embarrass him further, he decided you needed to meet the others. That included Wonwoo, who greeted you warmly and apologized to you almost immediately. He had accepted it, though, that fate had dictated he try to stop Soonyoung. He introduced you to Hansol shortly after, who outright gagged as Soonyoung came into his domain with you, hand-in-hand. He’d apologized for both that and for his own hand in trying to stop Soonyoung from loving you.

“It’ll stop,” he said after a moment. “Godly love smells different. You still… smell like a mortal’s love.”

Whatever he was smelling, you couldn’t smell it. “Sorry—”

“Don’t be. You’re great,” he said. “Just—no one can smell it. Just me and, uh, other people like me. I’m in my own personal prison.”

It made you laugh a little, and Hansol chuckled, too. He merely told you to keep Soonyoung in check, earning a groan from him. He wasn’t that immature. Love just made him do something a little crazy. Where was the problem in that?

The others were warm to you, too, even if they all apologized for their hands in this plot (save for Mingyu, who boasted that he always had faith in Soonyoung the entire time). While they all had beautiful domains in their own right, you stayed alongside Soonyoung in his own. There was nowhere else you’d rather be after all. He gave you space to mourn your beloved down and the others that fell alongside you. The two of you saw that your body had been found and buried by your friends and loved one, and Soonyoung accompanied you to your grave with a spell cast over both of you to keep you invisible.

He left the little wooden tiger at your grave to watch over it. He didn’t need it anymore: he had you now.

The two of you only fell deeper in love with each passing day. He let go of the mortal exterior he’d taken to speak to you before, letting himself be fully genuine around you. He was still bright, warm, loving Soonyoung when he was with you, but you realized that he was a little quieter. Less so when he was around the others (especially Seungkwan, who Soonyoung took delight in occasionally teasing), but his love was gentler than it had been before. It came in the forms of gentle kisses and checking on you, in making sure that you were happy and well alongside him, and in taking care of you. You were able to see firsthand how hard he worked, and the way he cared for the sun. Yet you saw him love you more with each day. He stole kisses from you whenever he could, and impressed you with his strength. Jihoon had told you not to fall for it: he was a complete doofus when you really got to know him.

(You merely told Jihoon that you already knew that: that doofus was who you fell in love with.)

Your title was bestowed upon you in a great hall when you were called before a higher council of gods. You didn’t know the other faces in that hall as well as the others did, but you felt secure. Seungcheol had held one of your hands in his, representing his specific group with a stony face and an iron will. Soonyoung held your other hand, supporting you as your partner in everything from now on. He’d admitted to you he was terrified that they would take you away from him. They had the power to do so, after all.

The higher council spoke all at once with this tinny sound to their voices, all melding into something that felt as though it could crush your skull with its power. Maybe if you were a mortal, it would have. They said your name, and went onto a long spiel about what made a god worthy of their titles.

And then you were deemed the Goddess of Youth, after you had had yours ripped away. The lesser Guardian of the Sun, to stand beside your lover evermore. And a Protector of Fate, which you had defied, although not alone.

Soonyoung almost sobbed when he heard it among the cheers. You were his. You would always be his. He would always be yours. He lifted you up, kissing you proudly in front of everyone. The two of you were safe now, and he hugged Seungcheol tight, thanking him a thousand times for whatever he must have said to help this decision come to. Seungcheol swore that he did nothing: that it was Soonyoung’s love for you that did most of the work. He merely accepted the knowledge that would be given to you, all wrapped into a tome. Although you wouldn’t be considered one of his to be in charge of (at least, not quite yet—decisions were yet to be finalized), Seungcheol would be the one in charge of guiding you as you learned your place.

Soonyoung took you back to his domain—yours now, too—and kissed you again. He lifted you into his arms, always happy to show off his strength in full now (you always teased that you knew something had to be up—no mortal man could carry all he did without breaking a sweat), and carried you forward. He laid you onto his chaise, kissing you as you guided him back with you.

“I love you,” he whispered against your lips. He came into your life pretending to be a mortal man because you had bewitched him heart and soul, turning him into nothing but a man with a single night. You were his soulmate, and he was yours, even in godhood now.

The world would change in time, and eventually begin to tell tales of the God of Sun and his lover who appeared within the sunbeams that broke through trees in forests. The warm figure who walked alongside the protector of the forests to guide children home, before disappearing with a distant wave, always a story that young people spoke of fondly. Some stories said that in a clearing within a forest, the God of Sun could be seen, lounging with his lover as though they had no cares in the world (the two of you had escaped to the mortal world one day, just to enjoy the sunlight there together, and apparently some travelers had seen you). One day, they would carve your body from marble, but never quite get you right. Others had their own ideas for what you would look like, the same as they did with Soonyoung. No one would ever utter your name, but it would live on Soonyoung’s every day. He had you for life now, immortality to keep the two of you together.

But in your arms? Soonyoung was nothing but a man who had devoted himself to you with everything that he had. And he wouldn’t have it any other way.

#wooahaes.fic #seventeen x reader #seventeen x you #seventeen imagine #svt x reader #svt x you #seventeen imagines #seventeen angst #svt imagine #svt angst #hoshi x you #hoshi x reader #kwon soonyoung x you #kwon soonyoung x reader #hoshi angst #hoshi fluff #kwon soonyoung fluff #kwon soonyoung angst

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willowfolksong · 2 years

Note

Omg can i be added to the taglist of Miya Conundrum ? 😍 I think its real good!

Also, can i request a fic/scenario/whatever works for you where the reader's love language is physical touch but they love Sakusa. He also loves them (they are dating) but like, as you know, he is not much into PDA and being that touchy so reader feels hurt/ not loved, so Omi notices that and tries to improve? Hurt/comfort, please, thank youu ♡♡

untouchable, burning brighter than the sun

- Sakusa Kiyoomi x Reader

- SFW

a/n: hi @sexyandcringe !!!! I'm so sorry it took me so long but here it is! well ... at least the first part 😅 I have a penchant for splitting kiyoomi's requests in two and I'm so sorry hope you don't get mad!!! next part will be up in a couple of hours, so stay tuned! I really hope you like it. I love wiring kiyoomi so much. and I love angst too ngl. and yes of course I'll add you to the taglist of the Miya conundrum!!! ♥️

Love,

Willow ☀️

(Requests are currently closed, but I'll let you know as soon as they open ☀️)

Part I - Part II

Kageyama lightly touching Hinata's hand would be a very insignificant gesture if it wasn't because suddenly, it strikes you as such a foreign thing, Kageyama and Hinata's subtle, almost involuntary PDA. They touch and kiss and look at each other like they can't help it - maybe drawn by the other's warm, or craving that intimacy that now you know you really want, but it seems to be always out of reach, even after two years of dating your boyfriend, Kiyoomi Sakusa.

"That's my napkin" he says, snapping you out of your thoughts, and softly taking the white piece of clothe from under your fingers "Did you use it?"

You clear your throat, tearing your eyes away from the couple in front of you, and back to your boyfriend. He's looking at you all serious, and you can see the beginning of that frown you know it formes when something upsets him.

"I'll ask the waiter for another one. I'm sorry" you sigh, and move slightly away from him.

The rest of your double date leaves you feeling empty.

"Is something wrong?" Kiyoomi asks you from the bathroom. You've been quiet since you got home, only opening your mouth to say that you're too tired for a shower, and that you're going to put your pijamas and just go straight to bed.

Looking up from the book you're not reading, you immediately sense what your boyfriend is about. "You want me to shower?"

"That would be nice, yes. We were out on the street just recently"

"It's winter tho" you add, looking out of the window. Kiyoomi doesn't bulges, looking at you from the door with a mix of curiosity and severity in his eyes. You gulp, and uncover your bare legs for him. The shorts you're wearing are not sexy in the slightest, but you're not really looking to get any kind of action either way. You're tired, very much so, and what your heart and body desire, is a hug "Come here" you call, inviting him to join you.

"I'll be right there" he says, unsure for a moment, before turning off the lights on the bathroom and marching slowly towards the bed. Instead of the spot between your legs, he choses his own side of the mattress to sit, and although you knew it would happen, it's still hurts.

Right in that spot where you feel like something is missing, deep inside you.

"I'll go take a shower" you say, standing up as quickly as you can so he can't see your tears.

"I suppose you don't really have to, if you don't want to" he starts, but you close the door before you can hear the rest "I don't mind... because it's you"

You're still distant the next day, struggling to eat breakfast and sipping your coffee in silence. You don't demand a morning kiss, and Kiyoomi doesn't asks for one, opting to stare at you from his place on the counter. It's a chilly winter morning made for cuddling on the sofa and drinking hot chocolate, and you wonder if that's what Kageyama and Hinata are doing. If Kageyama kisses Hinata's unruly red hair, and pretends like he doesn't realize what he's doing, when he tries to get the cold out of his boyfriend's arms with light caresses and comforting touches.

"Hinata sent me a text a couple of minutes ago" Kiyoomi says, almost as if he can read your thoughts "You were in the bathroom"

"Oh?" you hum, still staring blankly at your coffee.

"He wants to know if we want to go window shoping with them"

"No, please" you say, and almost immediately realize the urgency in your voice, because Kiyoomi perks up and frowns, leaving his fork on the table "I don't feel like it, it's all"

"You've been acting strange since we came home yesterday" he tells you, both hands resting on his lap, and you come to the conclusion that the feeling of longing that bubbles up from your chest and grips your throat, has always been there.

You've always wanted him to reach across the table and take your hand.

You've been waiting for spontaneous hugs and kisses since day one.

Since that rainy, faithful day in wich Hinata decided to introduce you to one of his teammates, thinking you two would hit off.

Since the first night, when he didn't kiss your head before turning around and going to sleep.

Since that wedding you two went together, and he didn't pulled you closer to him, heart against heart.

You've been waiting and waiting and waiting, and all it took for you to open your Penelope's eyes was to, once again, be an involuntary witness of the simple and without restraints love that your friends share.

"I think we've never had a honeymoon phase" you say, staring ahead, past Kiyoomi and into the living room, drenched in the morning light.

"What?"

"You know" you try to explain, a hollow chuckle escaping you "That initial part of the relationship, when you just can't stop with the PDA"

"I don't understand how any of this has to do with you acting weird" Kiyoomi asks, but the crease between his eyebrows has grown in size, and he's slowly standing up, as if trying not to scare you "If you would like to explain..."

"You never hug me" you state, finally looking at him properly. "You never kiss me, or touch me, or thread your fingers on my hair..."

"That's not true" Kiyoomi argues, and he suddenly looks mad "And I don't understand where is this all coming from"

"I don't understand it either" you admit, and your boyfriend looks slightly perplexed, pausing, and letting go of the chair where he was sitting "I guess it's always been here" you whisper, pointing to your chest "But I never really knew"

"You're saying I'm not a good partner, is that?" Kiyoomi asks, sighing angrily "Are you suddenly realizing that I don't do enough? All because of a date?"

"Yes" you say, as confidently as you can, but trying to avoid his gaze, and the way his eyes open in surprise, not expecting that answer in the slightest "Yes, I suppose I am saying that, Omi"

He doesn't says anything as you stand up and push your plate away. He doesn't talks while watching you put on your coat and slipping your boots on. It's the sound of the lock and the door opening that makes him bolt and grab your sleeve.

"Where do you think you're going?" he demands, voice frantic and trembling around the edges.

"Outside" you say, and tug your arm away "I need to think"

"This is all pointless" he exclaims, but doesn't seem too sure. There's panic in his eyes, and the severity of the situation seems to be finally catching up to him "I don't understand how you get like this... when we were eating breakfast so calmly and now..."

"It was calm for you, but not for me"

"Going out in the cold won't solve whatever issue you think we have" he tries to reason, but his words only make you angrier "Take your coat off and we can talk on the sofa"

"No" you say, and step into the hallway "I'll see you later Kiyoomi. Please let me have some time"

The sound of the door closing muffles whatever he wanted to say, and you run down the stairs surrounded by a hazy cloud of thoughts and regrets.

#kiyoomi x reader #sakusa kyoomi x reader #msby sakusa #sakusa kiyoomi #sakusa kiyoomi x reader #haikyuu!!#hq sakusa #haikyuu fanfiction #haikyuu reader insert #haikyuu

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erotikkook · 1 year

Text

I'm Back!

𝐀 𝐒𝐦𝐚𝐥𝐥 𝐈𝐧𝐭𝐫𝐨𝐝𝐮𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 Hi there, everyone! It's been a hot minute since I've been active (i.e. over 6 months), but I wanted to give you a long update on where I've been, what I've been doing, etc.! If you're not a big reader, I'd skip past this post - it'll be kinda lengthy. possible tw: mental health/physical health, potential cursing, mentions of sex in relation to tumblr content - ALL SECTIONS WILL HAVE TW ACCORDINGLY

NOTE: THERE IS ALSO AN ANNOUNCEMENT ABOUT SOME UPCOMING FICS. IF YOU'RE NOT INTERESTED IN MY PERSONAL LIFE BUT WANT TO KNOW ABOUT WHAT TO EXPECT HERE IN TERMS OF MY WRITING, JUST SCROLL TO THE CATEGORY LABELLED "FANFICTION"

𝗠𝗬 𝗣𝗘𝗥𝗦𝗢𝗡𝗔𝗟 𝗟𝗜𝗙𝗘

𝙒��𝙧𝙠 I've spent extensive time going from one job to the next. I'm making a very similar transition again, hopefully for the final job. It's an even better full-time job that would make me twice as much as I make now. I was offered a position which means I'm well on my way to renting an apartment and getting a better car!

𝘽𝙞𝙧𝙩𝙝𝙙𝙖𝙮 By the time you see this, it'll be my 20th birthday! So just a little happy birthday to me and all my other April babies.

𝙋𝙝𝙮𝙨𝙞𝙘𝙖𝙡 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙈𝙚𝙣𝙩𝙖𝙡 𝙃𝙚𝙖𝙡𝙩𝙝 (𝙏𝙒) TW for this section, mentions of physical + mental health and mentions of weight. Please skip this if you're uncomfortable. I've also spent a lot of time being physically and mentally ill. I'm now officially diagnosed with several things. This means I'm on medicine, which makes me very tired, unable to do a lot, and made me gain weight as a side-effect of the medication. I've always had issues with my self-esteem, weight, and relationship with food - thus, I spiralled for a while and, being as stubborn as I am, refused to get help when I was suffering mentally. I still need help, but I'm happier and feel healthier too! I've learned to accept myself as I am and to love how I look. There was a ton of internalized fatphobia that I hadn't realised existed, and I've since been working through that. I'm also very slowly becoming friends with food again. Wish me luck! You're all good for TW now! Read on!

𝙈𝙮 𝙃𝙖𝙞𝙧 I've been grappling with other parts of myself too. My hair is one of them. It's been very feminine my entire life, and thus I've grappled with the length of it. It's also, at the same time, been my only source of comfort - something I could control and do with as I pleased. I've since come to terms with myself in many ways, so I've chopped all my hair off! I know it might not be a big deal to most people, but it took a lot for me to do that and admit that my obsession with it was unnerving and unhealthy. Imagine a mini mullet. If you're a close friend, you've probably been bombarded with pictures of my hair, but I'll leave the rest up to the crowd's imagination!

𝗜𝗗𝗘𝗡𝗧𝗜𝗧𝗬

𝘼𝙣 𝘼𝙣𝙣𝙤𝙪𝙣𝙘𝙚𝙢𝙚𝙣𝙩 I'd like to very formally announce that I identify as genderfluid! For those who may support the LGBTQ community but don't quite know what the term means, I think WebMD sums it up pretty well for just a vague understanding: "Someone who is fluid -- also called gender fluid -- is a person whose gender identity (the gender they identify with most) is not fixed. It can change over time or from day to day." Usually, this will switch between he/him & they/them for me on a personal basis, so if we're ever having interactions and you're unsure, those are your best bet! 𝙈𝙮 𝙉𝙖𝙢𝙚 I'd also like to officially announce that my preferred name is Declan! This was decided after almost six months of thought. Ngl, there were a lot of sleepless nights, but here we are, and I'm very happy with who I've become! I don't intend to explain my decision. I've talked with my support system about my feelings enough for the life of me, but nevertheless, thank you for your support in advance!

𝗙𝗮𝗻𝗳𝗶𝗰𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻

𝙁𝙞𝙘𝙨 𝘾𝙤𝙢𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙎𝙤𝙤𝙣 A few fics are coming your way. I'll announce them here but will probably make a separate post too! Here's what's set to come out (note, no dates are listed as of this moment, I'm bad with dates, and I no longer want to make promises I can't keep):

Desperate For You - Seokjin x Reader - based on Desperate by Jonas Blue & Nina Nesbitt

take it and run - Taehyung x Reader - based on Friends by Chase Atlantic

Fallin' Without Caution - Namjoon x Reader - based on People Watching by Conan Gray

checkmate - Yoongi x Reader - based on Lost The Breakup by Maisie Peters

I have about 31 requests (I counted, holy shit) to get through, so I'll also complete those. I know it's been over a year, but I appreciate the unending patience!

#life update #update #bts fanfics #bts fanfic #coming soon

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theriverbeyond · 1 year

Note

idk if you are still doing the writing asks but if so, 3 & 28? 👀

YES i am!! ty

3: How would you describe your writing style?

ngl i am going to actually steal this from you and say my writing style is "vibes". like it's a vibesy style. idk how else to describe it. also have been described as "portentous" in a complimentary way which i think i agree with as well. I definitely lean more into like a self indulgent melodramatic ambiance mostly bc i think it is fun

28: Any writing advice that works for you and you feel like sharing?

kill your darlings but save them in a jar....... i have a 15k and always growing document that is just pieces i removed from other fics. i think it allows me to be aggressive with my editing in service of the end result while also being able to pull from it whenever either back into the document or into a different fic where it works better. also i like it bc it is like a record of what i did

when I am doing my final editing passes, I 1) change the font of the whole document and 2) as I edit paragraphs or if there are parts I feel unsure about, I change the text color. Then, as I am editing further, I get the satisfaction of marking a section as "done" by changing the text color back to black and also I don't have to scroll looking for what I marked as needing a fix, I just go right to the red parts

sometimes.... not writing..... is what allows me to write. see: the week before last I wrote maybe 10k+ in a week. the week before that I didn't write at all, and this last week i wrote.... <200? idk sometimes u just have to roll w it and not beat yourself up like i KNOW i can only write when I feel a little bit possessed so when I'm not it's like, why fight it i am here to have fun. if i'm not having fun then i am going to go do something else and not feel bad about it bc the google doc will be there when i come back. like sometimes i do feel bad abt it but this is the mentality i try to have

similar to above if something you write seems really bad put it away for a week or a month. i have done this so many times and sometimes it actually is really bad but most of the time i'm like "HUH ok. past me was really onto something with this"

send me writing asks!

#ask games #ask #thanks this was fun!!#i am like not sure if i am someone who should be dispensing writing advice as im a very novice myself but yeah!!#also sometimes u just need someone else to hype up your idea to u if u lose steam

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bullshxtvixen · 3 years

Photo

*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧ *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧ *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧ *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧ *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧ *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧ Pairing: Bokuto x Reader

Word Count: 5.1k

Song: Put It On Me - Matt Maeson

Warnings: 18+, Coercion(dubcon themes), size kink, cream pie, virginity kink, corruption kink, rough sex, spitting, spanking, light choking, light assplay(I couldn’t help myself), dom!bokuto(he’s kind of an ass oops).

A/N: So uh, it’s finally here…My first fic in two months and i’m ngl, i’ve been dreading posting for so long, but i tried to give you guys something good for my return, so please let me know what you think and go easy on me, i’m a little rusty sksks. However, this is a gift for @thekraziesreside because she drew me them most amazing Kenma x Me icon and i needed to pay her back somehow!!

Shoutout to my amazing friends @deathcab4daddy, @dymphnasprose and @spicykzumeknma, who i’m sure are sick of beta reading this by now and having me freaking out about posting it. Thank you for all your grammar corrections that I will probably never learn from, I love you all

*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧ *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧ *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧ *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧ *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧ *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

“I-I’m a virgin.”

The words slip from your tongue before you can stop them.

The large hands that had been tracing the contours of your body stilled. You had to stop yourself from flinching when his intense golden stare shot to your face.

“What…” He let the word trail off, a well-practised mask of surprise coming into place on his features.

It was second nature to him now, letting his face morph into whatever expression he needed it to at a moments notice. No one ever suspected the friendly Ace of being anything other than a good guy, and really, he wasn’t a bad guy. No, he just relished in taking the innocence of unsuspecting women who easily fell into his trap.

Like you.

“I’m a virgin, Kou.” Even though you were straddling him, you still had to look up to meet his eyes.

With the tips of your ears burning, you moved to get off of his lap as if you could escape from your embarrassing confession. You couldn’t believe you’d openly admitted you were an inexperienced virgin to the guy you’d only just met a week ago. A mutual friend had introduced the two of you, and you’d quickly fallen for his ‘nice guy’ act.

You hadn’t even put a foot on the floor before you were pulled back and thrown into the pillows. The weight of Bokuto’s body was quick to settle on top of you, pressing you down into the plush mattress.

“What are y-” before you could finish your sentence, your wrists were pinned above your head, rendering your arms useless in his firm grip. The muscles in your abdomen tightened at his rough treatment, and you couldn’t stop the small gasp that fell from your lip. Turning your head to the side, you tried in vain to hide your flustered expression.

Bokuto felt his cock twitch in the grey sweats that hung low on his hips.

The innocent ones were always the most responsive. He fought off a grin as the thought crossed his mind.

“Did you really think I was going to let you get away after telling me something like that?” He growled, warm breath ghosting over your face and across your neck. He watched with a glint in his eyes as you shivered under him.

Oh, he was going to enjoy this.

“Do you know what that means, little bird?”

Your heart raced at the nickname.

Could he make you sing for him?

Certain he could hear your heartbeat fluttering like a hummingbird's wings in your chest, you silently prayed for the ground to open up and swallow you whole. The mortification you felt was palpable in the space between you.

Bokuto thought it was cute how bashful you were, so unsure and unwilling to show him your real feelings, even though your body told him everything he needed to know. Still, he’d have you voicing your innermost desires sooner or later- it was only a matter of time.

“Well?” He pressed, not allowing you to dwell on your thoughts any longer. He didn’t want to have to put in too much effort to break you.

Your voice was small and unsure when you answered him, eyes looking anywhere but his direction, “No.”

He was so close, closer than any man had ever been before. The proximity made it hard to think straight as the warmth of his body seeped into your bones, and his masculine scent invaded your senses.

It was almost stifling.

His tongue darted out, licking a wet strip up the side of your exposed neck before pressing a soft kiss just below your ear. He felt you shiver beneath him before pulling back and watching a deep blush journey down to your chest. It was so pure...He couldn’t wait to be the one to defile your virtue.

Gently grasping your chin between his thumb and index finger, he turned your face until you had no option but to meet his simmering gaze.

Begrudgingly, you looked up at the man looming over you and found he was already observing your flustered expression. He stared so openly and without shame that you began to squirm under him.

Bokuto saw your blush deepen further and wondered what you’d look like when he eased his cock inside your virgin hole.

Would your eyes roll into the back of your head? Would your nails imbed themselves in his back? Or maybe you’d simply cry out in pain and pleasure as he ripped through your innocence?

All kinds of scenarios whirled around in his brain, sending his mind into overdrive.

Unconsciously, he ground the head of his cock against your clothed slit and was rewarded when he heard your sharp intake of breath.

Heat pooled in his groin.

It was such a pretty sound. He wanted more, and he didn’t need to feel the slick collecting in the crotch of your underwear to know your feelings mirrored his.

His smile was predatory as he answered.

“It means that I’ll be the first person to fill your tight little pussy up with cum. I’ll stretch your walls around my cock and pump you so full that it’ll be dripping out of you for days.”

The lewd words fell from his mouth with ease, and you found yourself shifting as your body all of a sudden became too warm as if the temperature in the room had spiked, but you knew it was his words alone that had caused your reaction.

You hated how easily he affected you.

“I bet you want me to corrupt your sweet little body, don’t you?” He already knew the answer.

Your body responded of its own accord, turning into putty beneath him. Your hips rolled against his as your back arched off the bed at the feeling of his cock nudging against your clit. The knot in your stomach tightened.

The grip on your wrists tightened. Bokuto took a few steadying breaths, struggling to hold himself back. You seemed so tiny and fragile as you lay beneath his brawny form, and he was scared he would break you if he gave in to his own desires too soon.

Maybe that’s what you wanted. The sadistic voice in the back of his mind purred.

“I- I don’t know.” Your voice wavered as you answered him honestly. Doubt had begun to gnaw at your gut. Waiting didn’t seem like the worst idea- there was no rush, after all.

He closed his eyes for a split second to hide the annoyance that no doubt flickered through them. When he reopened them, he became the personification of a bird of prey, and you were his next meal.

Your mouth became dry as you lied entrapped by his stare.

“Come on, I can make you feel good.” As if he was digging his talons in to prevent your escape, he rolled his hips against yours once more, making sure that his cock rubbed firmly over your swelling clit. The side of his mouth quirked up when a tentative moan left your parted lips.

“That’s it, you like that, don’t you? You want me to make you feel good, don’t you, little bird?” another roll of his hips, and he watched the doubt dissolve away for now.

“Koutarou...please.” Your voice was small, uncertain as you begged.

You didn’t know what you were begging for, you just knew he could give it to you, whatever it was.

Golden eyes flashed at the way your voice was saturated with need. For a moment he thought that maybe you weren’t a virgin, but instead, a succubus, come to steal his soul.

He would let you.

The weight of his body left yours, and in seconds, you were stripped of all of your clothing, which was thrown haphazardly around the room. His soon followed.

Eager eyes drank in the sight of your naked body before him. Your skin was so beautiful and unmarred by another person, so enticing and begging for his touch. Soon you would be littered in his marks as he lay claim to your body, inside and out.

Growing self-conscious under his prolonged stare, you tried in vain to cover your most intimate parts.

“There’s no use trying to hide from me. I’m going to become well-acquainted with your body by the time I’m done with you.”

A gasp escaped your lips when his fingers reached down and ghosted over your folds. A groan left him when he felt just how wet you were.

“Well, looks like someone’s already dripping at the thought of being ruined by my cock- isn’t that cute?” Though his tone was mocking, his words still sent excitement trickling down your spine.

Spreading your lips, he circled a thick finger around your twitching entrance, smiling devilishly when you whined for him. Through heavy-lidded eyes, he witnessed your jaw go slack as he eased the first finger past the slick opening, surprised when he was met with little resistance.

Soon he was able to work himself knuckle-deep, and your walls fluttered around him in welcome.

Such a slutty pussy for someone so untouched.

“You’re so tight, baby. Your pussy’s sucking my finger in so nicely; I bet you’re going to feel amazing when I stuff my cock inside.”

You groaned as his fingers started to move within your previously untainted walls. It wasn’t an unpleasant feeling like you’d feared it would be- it was almost like a welcoming pressure had settled deep within you.

“Kou… more.”

A chuckle met your ears in line with his warm lips brushing against your pubic bone, “Your wish is my command.”

When the second finger was added, the discomfort became evident on your face. He didn’t pause his movements; instead, their pace increased as pain and pleasure fought for dominance at the apex of your thighs.

“That’s it, you can do it. The pain will stop soon,” At that moment he chose to curl his fingers and press them against the spongy spot deep within your sopping cunt. The pain dulled and was overshadowed by pleasure as he played with your body as if it were an instrument he was fine-tuning.

“Ah- fuck, I-” Your breathing accelerated as the pressure in the pit of your stomach began to increase . Your hips started to buck up off the bed when his thumb joined his ministrations and began working tight circles against your clit. Sparks of excitement like nothing you’d felt before shot through your veins. Stringing thoughts together became almost impossible.

If this was what his fingers could do, you weren’t sure you’d be able to remain sane once his cock entered you.

“There it is,” he cooed, fingertips rubbing against the same spot, this time with a little more vigour, “God, you look so beautiful with my fingers inside you, you’re drenching them, baby.”

A thick fog came over your mind as they stroked and stretched your walls, creating a pressure in your abdomen that threatened to overflow at any second. It almost scared you, and yet, you couldn’t prevent your hips from desperately grinding down against his hand.

“More,” you cried, your breaths beginning to come out in pants.

The wet squelching sounds of your pussy filled the room as his hand became a blur between your thighs. The sound only added to your arousal.

When your legs began to quake, he lowered his head and added his mouth to the mix, suckling skillfully at your puffy clit. His lips were cool as they attached themselves to your heated skin, the difference in temperature causing a prolonged whine to leave you.

His tongue swirled around the sensitive nub, his fingers working your insides, coiling, stroking and stretching until the pressure that had been steadily rising in your stomach finally exploded within your body. It erupted from your core, spreading through you like wildfire.

Your hands found hair, pulling and twisting the soft locks as you came hard around his fingers. He moaned at the flash of pain in his scalp- causing his own desire to heighten. Your walls pulsed as he continued to curl his fingers against your g-spot.

“Yes, yes, yes! Fuck, Kou, fuck, oh god, oh god!” Your cries of delight were music to Bokuto’s ears. It excited him so much that he couldn’t help but gently rut his hips into the mattress. His cock was painfully hard now, and precum leaked freely from his swelling tip. He needed to be inside you soon or he’d lose his mind.

Pulling his fingers from your pussy, you watched through half-lidded eyes as he brought them to his mouth and began to eagerly lap at them.

“Koutarou…That was....” Your brain was still riding its high, unable to give you an end to your sentence.

He pulled his hand from his mouth, “I told you I’d make you feel good. Now, before I fuck your brains out, why don’t you see how good you taste?”

The musky smell of your arousal filled your nostrils as he brought his fingers to your lips.

“Open.” It wasn’t a request.

At your hesitance, he quirked a brow, “I promise you taste amazing. Now, open.”

You obeyed, still riding the endorphin high he’d pulled from your body. Because of this, you didn’t even notice that he’d reached over and pressed record on his phone that was propped up on the nightstand. He’d made sure to angle it so the camera pointed directly at your face.

He found people were much more...compliant... if he had video footage he could use against them in the event that they changed their minds.

With a grin, he placed the two fingers he’d had knuckle deep in your cunt against your tongue.

The tart taste of your release was quick to spread over your tastebuds. His eyes darkened when you began to swirl your tongue around his fingers, lightly sucking on them until they were completely clean of your arousal.

It was so erotic that you found it hard to maintain eye contact.

He released a shaky breath before pulling his fingers from your mouth with a satisfying ‘pop’.

“You’re a little minx, you know that?” He teased, allowing one of his hands to come to rest next to your head while the other reached between your bodies. Taking his length in his hand, he watched a mix of anticipation and fear come over your features when you looked down.

Your audible gulp was heard in the silence that followed.

You weren’t sure what you’d expected, but this was beyond anything your mind had come up with. Even though you’d never had sex before, you knew he was big. His cock was thick and heavy where it hung between his legs. Veins ran along the sides of his shaft, the largest one snaking directly down the centre before splitting in two near the swollen head. You couldn’t even begin to imagine what it would feel like having something so big inside your body.

“I don’t think I can do this.” Your voice wavered, doe-eyes shining with fear as they met his.

He acknowledged your fear with a condescending sneer, “Oh, little bird, you really think you have a choice?” he nodded towards the nightstand.

The blood in your veins turned icy, and your body began to tremble as you lay eyes on the phone, screen open and recording.

Breathing became difficult as panic rose in your chest. You’d been so naive. Stupid, stupid, stupid.

“It’s been recording for the last couple of minutes. Now,” his rough fingers came to rest against the sides of your throat, squeezing lightly as he brought his face just inches from yours, “you can either behave, and this will feel amazing for both of us, or you can be a brat, and the only person this is going to be fun for is me. Not to mention, I’ll send the video around to every person you know, including your boss.”

At the mention of your boss, your whole body deflated. He had you right where he wanted you. While the thought of your friends and family seeing the video was mortifying, you couldn’t risk losing your job. Your virginity was a small price to pay to make sure the video stayed hidden.

Anger bloomed in your chest as you leered up at the spiky-haired man, but you had no fight in you. It was useless to even try.

“If I do this, you’ll make it go away?” You tried to make your voice sound confident, but it cracked at the end.

He couldn’t stop the smile from creeping onto his face when he realised you were giving in, “Of course- no one else will ever see it.”

He watched the internal battle going on behind your mind before your eyes hardened.

“Fine, so be it. I’ll play your sick game.” You spat, what else did you have to lose?

Bokuto’s eyes widened when you reached down and removed his hand from his length before replacing it with your own. It was softer than you’d imagined, yet firm at the same time. Like steel encased in velvet.

“You like the feeling of my cock, baby? It’ll feel even better when I'm balls deep inside you. You’ll be my little slut and take it all like a good girl, won’t you?”

The man above you let out a rumbling moan from deep within his chest when your fingers flexed around him, head falling against your chest. Your wavering hands felt so small as they struggled to circle his impressive girth. It again reminded him of the size difference between the two of you.

Your eyes darted between him and the phone. He took the hint and reached over, turning the phone off and laying it flat against the nightstand.

He turned back to you with a smug smirk.

You wanted to slap the look right off his face, but violence would probably result in the video being circulated faster.

Resigning yourself to your fate, you dipped the head of the thick muscle between your folds. Your slick coated it instantly. Lining him up with your entrance, you waited for him to meet your gaze. When he did, he saw the hatred burning in them. It made his cock throb in your palm.

When he pressed his hips forward, all at once, the air left your body as heat flooded your core.

Bokuto studied your face intently, drinking in the way your pupils dilated and your mouth dropped open into a silent moan. If he could burn one image into his mind, it was your face at that moment as he stole the last remnants of your innocence from you.

“Hng-fuck...it feels...s-so-” Your hands blindly grasped at his broad shoulders, seeking some kind of anchor as the burning feeling of his cock threatening to split you open sent your mind into a frenzy.

“So what, baby?” He cooed, body tense above you. “How does it feel? Come on, little bird, use your words.”

Nails dug into his shoulder blades as he worked himself into you. Hissing out a breath, he savoured the way your lower muscles clenched around his girth before relaxing, only to repeat the motion moments later, pulling him deeper into your heated sheath.

“So full. So so full, so fucking good.” You whimpered, tears stinging the corners of your eyes. It was a fullness, unlike anything you’d ever felt before. Every nerve in your body had come to life, and a familiar heat began to pool in your lower body once again. Bokuto’s control began to slip, and he soon realised he was trembling above you in an effort to hold back. Heat was surging through his own body, clouding his mind and bringing him closer to his climax. If he didn’t move soon...

“Ah, fuck, I need…” He couldn’t finish the rest of his sentence, his mind was lost to the beast you’d unleashed inside of him. With a harsh snap of his hips, he sheathed the rest of his cock inside your wet heat.

A scream ripped from your throat as your poor cunt was suddenly filled to the brim with the Ace’s cock. His hips lay flush against yours as he bottomed out inside you, the plush head of his length kissing your cervix. He stretched your body in such a sinful way that for a second, you forgot how to breathe.

Even though you never wanted anything to do with him and the thought of him being inside you made you feel sick, you couldn’t stop your body’s natural reaction to him.

On instinct, your legs wrapped around his hips, heels pressing against his ass. You didn’t know where your confidence had come from, and in your lust-driven craze, you didn’t care. In fact, it was almost as if a switch had been flicked in your mind. All you knew was that you craved him.

“Shit, you’re choking my cock with that sweet little pussy. Fuck.”

“Koutarou...move. Please.” You panted, cutting him off, “I need you to move, now.”

The heels of your feet dug into his ass while you simultaneously rolled your hips into his. The movement sent flares of desire straight to your core.

Bokuto didn’t need to be told twice.

The first few of his thrusts were short and practised as if he was testing whether or not your body could handle him. When he was met with mewls and whimpers, he couldn’t stop himself from picking up his pace and slamming mercilessly into your greedy pussy.

The pressure you’d experienced before started to build once again, only this time it felt more intense, almost out of control as you writhed beneath him.

There were many ways you’d imagined losing your virginity; slow, soft, romantic sex with someone you’d known for years; gentle caresses and stolen kisses beneath a slither of moonlight as your lover whispered loving words into your ear.

This was nothing like that.

Bokuto’s thrusts were bruising, unforgiving, and the power behind each one jolted your entire body. He was animalistic as he fucked into you.

This wasn’t love-making. This was rough, hard fucking, and you found yourself growing intoxicated as you were forced to drink in every sensation he was pulling from you.

He’d been wrong before, you weren’t like the other girls at all. They’d all cried and begged for him to go easy. But you, you thrived on him using your body, even savoured the feeling of being fucked like a whore.

The realisation made his head spin. If you liked being fucked like a whore, he was happy to oblige.

A strangled cry echoed through the room when his teeth latched onto the sensitive skin of your nipple. His hot tongue swirled around the pebbled nub, sending bolts of desire splintering through you as the pressure inside you bubbled up and threatened to explode at any moment.

His mouth left you all too soon.

“Such a good girl. You’re taking my cock so well. Who knew a virgin could be such a dirty little slut? I bet you’re loving this, being used like a cocksleeve.” The words left his mouth in a rush as if he’d forget them if he didn’t get them out fast enough.

Leaning back, he hooked his arms beneath your knees, still continuing his assault on your cunt. He couldn’t help but reach around and press a hand on your stomach. Desire stirred in his groin when he felt himself moving beneath his palm.

“Fuck, that’s so hot. I’m practically in your stomach…” His words died off when he felt your walls begin to spasm.

“Kou, I’m- fuck- I’m going to cum.”

No, he wouldn’t let you cum just yet, it was too soon. He knew if he drew it out much longer, you’d be too sore for another round, but he wanted- no, he needed- to test just how far he could corrupt you.

Without thinking, he leant over your body and allowed a string of his saliva to slowly drip from his mouth. It gave you enough time to move if it was too much for you.

You didn’t move. No, instead you eagerly stuck your tongue out and waited for his spit to drip onto it, like a puppy begging for a treat.

When you swallowed it with a smirk on your face, he finally lost all semblance of control.

You weren’t entirely sure what happened next, but next thing you knew, you were stomach-down on the bed.

“Wha-”

The sound of impact as Bokuto’s hand met the supple flesh of your ass rang in your ears. You barely had time to register the searing heat blooming across your rear before he brought his hand down again on the opposite side.

“Get that fucking ass in the air.”

Bringing your knees under you and sticking your ass out as much as you could, you waited for his next move as your orgasm began to dwindle.

Bokuto bit his lip as he watched you present yourself to him, puffy lips glistening in the dim light.

Gripping your hip with one hand, he used the other to give your ass a few slaps with his length before realigning himself with your entrance. You were so wet and stretched so well that with a harsh snap of his hips, his entire length was buried deep in you with no resistance.

“Fuck!” Your voice was hoarse as you cried out from being stuffed with his cock again.

The angle this new position set had his cock dragging along your walls, caressing them as he fucked into your heat. The new pace he set was brutal as he chased his own high.

Skin against skin became the only sound in the room as his weighty balls slapped against your clit- each time the coil in your stomach tightened.

Your body stiffened when you heard him spit, followed by the feel of moisture coming into contact at the top of your ass.

He’d been lost in his mind as he watched your puffy slit suck in his length, and when his eyes travelled up to the puckered hole just above, he couldn’t help himself.

“Don’t worry,” He spread the spit around your pucker with his thumb before gently applying pressure, “I’ll ruin this hole next time, little bird. But first, I want you to get an idea of just how good I can be to you.”

When his thumb slipped past the tight ring of muscle, your eyes rolled into the back of your head.

A sense of euphoria settled deep within you as you lay there and let the Ace pound into you with reckless abandon.

Bokuto became drunk on the cries he was sure you didn’t even realise were falling from your mouth as drool pooled beneath your cheek and turned the bedsheets a darker shade.

It wouldn’t be long now. He could feel his balls tightening as heat spread through his body. Not to mention, your legs had started to quiver with the first signs of your release.

“You ready to come for me again, baby?” His hips never faltered from the harsh pace he’d set.

“I can’t...too much...fuck.”

He found it almost endearing that you thought you had a choice.

“Wrong answer.”

You didn’t think it was possible for him to fuck you any harder, but a last burst of energy had him pistoning his hips into you with such force that you had to reach above your head and press a shakey hand against the headboard to stop your body from jolting forward.

Your body couldn’t take much more stimulation and seconds later you cried out your release into the mattress.

Your first orgasm was nothing compared to the pure ecstasy you felt in those following moments as you came hard around the thick muscle still pumping into your aching walls.

Stars flashed across your vision as your toes curled, and your hands blindly clawed at the mattress. It was as if you’d been washed out to sea in an ocean of bliss, and you had no choice but to ride the waves crashing through you.

Bokuto’s thrust became sporadic until finally, his body went taut behind you, balls tightening as he emptied his seed into your spasming walls.

His cum was warm as it splashed against your cervix, staining every inch of your insides with the thick fluid.

White noise rang in your ears as your body rode out its chemical high.

Bokuto pulled his thumb and cock from your holes once his balls were empty. Once removed, your body collapsed to the side, exhausted.

Bokuto’s own energy was about to run out, but he couldn’t tear his eyes away from your twitching cunt. His cum had started to dribble out from between your swollen lips in a steady stream of white.

Instinct had him reaching out and pressing as much of it back into your body as he could. He ignored the weak cries that the action coaxed from your mouth as his fingers brushed against tender flesh.

He’d fucked you raw.

You’d be sore for days after this. Hell, a dull ache had settled in his own muscles.

With a groan, he used the last of his energy to scoop your thoroughly fucked body off the bed and carry you the short distance to the bathroom. Placing you gingerly down into the toilet seat, he only let go when he was sure you weren’t going to fall face-first onto the cold tile floor.

Grabbing a small cloth, he made quick work of rubbing the musky smell of sex from your body before jumping into the shower and ridding himself of the thin layer of sweat sticking to him. The warm water felt amazing against his skin, and suddenly, tiredness came over him. All of his limbs felt heavy as if weights had been attached to them. He’d definitely been rougher than he meant to- fucking never usually took this much out of him.

You’d been so lost in your after-sex daze that he almost jumped out of his skin when you finally spoke.

“So...When can we go again?” Your voice was far more lucid than he’d expected. It seemed in your daze you’d forgotten your hatred towards him. He knew some gentle persuasion was all it would take to unlock your inner animal.

Raising a brow, he turned to see a sly smile creep onto your face as you sat naked on his toilet.

You at least had the decency to blush at your request.

“I mean...that’s if you want to. Oh, and you’d better delete that video or I’ll rip your cock off and shove it down your throat.”

He thought you might just be a succubus after all.

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hardskz · 4 years

Text

bow down.

pairing — bang chan x genderneutral! reader

genre — modern royalty au, drama-ish, smut; sexual tension-ish, hand kink, brat tamer! chan, degradation, leg humping, humiliation

synopsis — you have eyes. prince bang chan is a whole snack. but you also have too high of an ego and can’t seem to accept that prince chan isn’t full of himself unlike the other dozen members of any royal family you’ve met before. alternatively, this is the disney channel movie ‘princess protection program’ but make it porn only.

note — this fic with a wc of 7k+ does not include any spoilers to the movie and you don’t even have to know what the movie is about you’ll get the gist as you read. ngl half of this is from one of my drafts from like 3 years ago and i never continued it so here i am turning it into filth hahahah (and i needed a fresh idea for brat tamer chan and hence why i think the sfw part is better written than the nsfw lmao) rip also pls accept this as the follower milestone gift and 1 year anniversary special :’)

“I’m pretty sure I asked for a puppy for my birthday — which was three months ago may I add — not for a new roommate?”

You look back and forth between Youngjae and the stranger sitting on the couch who is staring back at you with a curious expression. He looks around your age and you admit, his face isn’t the kind of face that makes you thank your parents that genetics did a decent job on you. It’s quite the opposite, actually.

His face is the type of face that makes you ask your parents why genetics didn’t do a better job on yours. Okay, you haven’t reached that stage of visual inferiority yet but that’s mainly because he is dressed in clothes that were trendy in the 15th century or something. The garments clinging to his skin look like a bad fusion of a suit (which college student wears a suit in their free time?) and the ridiculous costume the marching band at your former high school had worn whenever a football game was up. And those weird golden pins clipped on the blazer makes it seem as if he used to be in the marines or comes from a royal bloodline or—

Oh.

“Don’t mind my cousin, your Highness. (y/n)’s humor has always been questionable.” Youngjae sends you a glare before he puts on his sweetest smile — you know, the act he puts on whenever he tries to negotiate a bonus with his boss or woo his date — and opts to ignore your presence. “Anyway, since we are dealing with a more serious issue at hand than originally expected, we need to give you a makeover to—“

Before he gets to finish his sentence, you violently tug him away from the prince and despite Youngjae thrashing around and complaining, you manage to send the guest a forced smile and leave his vision. The moment you let go of Youngjae in the neighboring room, he readjusts his collar. “What? Couldn’t you have waited once I was done? Also, was it necessary to crinkle my collar this much?” he hisses but you get straight to the point.

“What is he doing here?”

“Uh, sitting on the couch?”

“That’s not what I mean.” you grit your teeth and land a punch on his arm. “What is he doing here?”

Youngjae looks over your shoulder, making sure that what he’s about to say next is only heard by you. “Prince Chan is,” he hesitates, unsure how to approach his topic. You know it’s taking up his last nerves to conclude a logical explanation as the tip of his tongue pokes out of the corner of his lips; a habit he has adapted ever since he stopped chewing on his bottom lip. “The predicament he’s in is worse than we expected. Well, his dad is partially at fault because he forgot to tell us this not-so-small critical detail that—“

“Youngjae, you’re rambling.”

“The point is.” he sighs and gives you a distressed look as if he already knows you’re not going to like the information at all. “We can’t send him to the family in Goyang, the place he was originally going to stay in. He’s one of the more extreme cases and the Board agreed that he had to live with one of the active combatants to ensure his safety.”

Silence engulfs the kitchen and you know he’s waiting for you to count two and two together.

“He’s going to live here,” you deadpan eventually and Youngjae nods in confirmation.

“I know you’re not very happy—“

“Not very happy is underwhelming.” You earn a flick against your forehead and yelp in pain as you over the spot he just hit. “Ow! I was just stating the truth!”

“Will you stop interrupting me? Geez. Yes, I know that you’re not happy at all. I know that you’re not a huge fan of the majority of our family working in this business. But please do me this one favor or so help me God— try to be nice to him for the next year.”

“He’s staying for a year?” you shriek and in the blink of an eye, Youngjae clamps your mouth shut.

“Can you keep it down?!” he whisper-yells, then retreats his hand and reverts to a conversational tone with a frown. “It’s just a year, okay? Y’know, just... say hi to him whenever you see him. Act civilized.”

You grimace as he stresses his last words like you didn’t know what human decency was. The longer you keep the petrified expression on your face, the more it turns into a staring contest between the two of you. Just as if you were each other’s reflection, you mimic his actions and vice versa. When Youngjae squints, you squint. When you shoot him a glare, he returns it. It all boils down to the final blink that Youngjae feints and you’re the first to look away.

“Okay fine! I’ll try to behave,” you mumble in defeat.

A satisfied smile makes its way on Youngjae’s lips. “It’s always nice negotiating with you.”

Being born into a family where the majority works for the royalty protection program (short: RPP or as you like to stylize it: argh-pee-pee), also known as the secret service for people with crowns on their heads, comes with many perks. In your eyes, this privilege comes with many, many downsides that aren’t worth the advantages. Sure, there is the one or other occasion where you can waltz around in fancy evening attire and attend an actual ball, but overall, it’s a pain in the ass.

Even though it’s prohibited to openly declare that you work for the RPP, the news always finds its way out. Usually, it takes approximately a week for pretty much half of the neighborhood to find out. And it certainly isn’t nice hearing whispers about your dad being that guy working for the program whenever you step out of your house, which is ultimately why you moved in with your cousin Youngjae. (Housing in your small town wasn’t really affordable for a dirt poor college student after all!)

Youngjae has always been your favorite cousin out of the... whatever number of cousins you have. But here’s the thing. He also works for the RPP.

However, somehow he managed to — and up to this day it still remains a mystery to you how on earth he did that — keep his job a secret. Especially with his tendency to dish out the worst kinds of secrets when he’s slightly tipsy. Frankly, you once considered printing out the image of a trophy for that remarkable feat.

With your dad and cousin both active in that business (because organization sounds too shady), it’s not the first time you meet a prince, so you already know how the entire thing works. The concept is quite simple; they get sent to a household but before they settle in and take on a fake identity until their circumstances have improved, they undergo a makeover. Most of the time, it ends up in the glow up you secretly crave but in Prince Chan’s case, you suppose he can’t get any more attractive.

Oh boy. You’re in for a ride.

You’re busy slicing bell peppers for the meal you were cooking when both your cousin and the prince enter the kitchen and Youngjae explicitly demands you to pay them attention. You don’t react immediately, but the moment he threatens to swipe the knife away from you, you perk up and set your desire to prepare your fried rice aside.

“(y/n), uh, hi? I’m Bang Chan and I’ll be your new housemate for a year. I hope we can get along.” Chan recites his introduction without any mistakes and earns a way too brotherly pat on the back from Youngjae, considering that they just met this morning. It’s truly amazing how fast Youngjae can get people to warm up to him.

Chan is stripped out of his weird clothes and instead, looks like he threw on the next best thing lying around in his room. Nonetheless, despite the seemingly little effort that was put into the outfit, it looks oddly good. The stylists didn’t seem to do much to his hair and just parted his bangs a little, so one could catch a slight glimpse of his forehead. It’s just a small detail, but you find yourself liking his current appearance much more appealing than before, though you’re pretty sure his clothes played a major part in your previous distaste.

“Remember Jihyo?” Youngjae interrupts your train of thought. “She’s Chan’s relative. And because I’m the genuine friend who loves to help her out, I decided to agree to this after she went down on her knees and begged me to let Chan live with us for a while—“

“I’m not interested in your blown up, fictional background stories, thank you very much.” you backtrack. “Wait. Did you say Jihyo? Seriously? Jihyo is his alibi?” Of course, you remember Jihyo. It’s quite difficult to forget her when Youngjae used to swoon about her at every hour of the day, back when they were a thing. Besides, she still stops by every few months.

“C’mon, you have to admit there is a similar vibe between them!”

You furrow your brows and inspect Chan a second time. Your gaze wanders back to Youngjae and then returns to Chan anew. It’s obvious that the latter is feeling as if he were up for auction and you can’t really blame him for feeling so uncomfortable. You’ve heard from a few friends that if looks could kill, you’d have the highest killing record.

There’s no similar vibe in your view, but for the sake of entertaining Youngjae’s thoughts: “He does seem similar to Jihyo.”

“Told ya. But back to more important matters,” Youngjae coughs and wraps his arm around your shoulder to pull you closer, but it somehow seems as if he’s opting to strangle you. “My duties are calling, so I won’t be back until late. You look like you could need some help with cooking, by the way. I’m sure Chan right here is willing to help you!”

“I’m almost done though—“ you choke when he tightens his embrace. By now, his arm is no longer hugging your shoulder, but rather crushing your throat.

“You look like you could need some help,” he repeats, this time with added urgency. “It’d be a great opportunity for you to bond since you’ll also share pretty much all classes at uni. Did you know, he has the same major as you! Besides, it’d be a very useful life experience for him if he helped you with cooking.”

“Of course, how fun!” you hiss, voice going an octave higher from the lack of oxygen. “I already said that I’m painfully delighted about that, so you can let me go now, Youngjae!”

A sneer and a jab in his arm later, Youngjae finally takes his leave. That nasty liar, leaving an hour earlier than his schedule stated. You know that silently cursing at him isn’t going to make your problems dissolve because that’d be a dream come true.

“Listen, let me get things straight.” you sigh, picking up the knife to resume chopping your vegetables. Youngjae may have ordered you to act civilized, but having eye contact with Chan when you’ve been starving for the past hour isn’t your priority. Food doesn’t make itself. “I don’t have any intention of getting close to you and I expect the same from you. Don’t step a foot into my room, don’t talk to me unless absolutely necessary, and don’t think I’ll run around and do your chores or cook your meals like one of your little servants. Just because you’re a prince doesn’t mean you’ll be treated like one under this roof.”

“We live in the 21st century, not the renaissance. Your idea of royal families is very dated.” Chan chuckles dryly.

“Baron Yoon Jeonghan from the seven islands is a stuck-up prick and out of touch with the world. It took him several visits to the slums, multiple voluntary hours at the kindergarten, and stripping him off his bank card to make him see reason,” you deadpan. Fuck Baron Jeonghan. Just thinking about your first and last encounter with that entitled douchebag almost makes you slice your finger instead of the bell pepper. “Duchess Yoo Shiah threw a hissy fit when she found out her clothes weren’t dry cleaned and bought from Zara instead of fucking Dior. The one who takes the cake when it comes to privilege is Princess Kim Min—”

“Everyone knows they are problematic,” Chan interjects. True, he has a point. There’s nobody out there who doesn’t know about Baron Jeonghan or Duchess Shiah but he’s also missing the entire point.

“And guess who gets stuck under the care of the RPP?” you raise a brow at him. He blanches at the realization as if he got struck with lightning. Perhaps you should give him more credit because he seems to own more brain cells than Baron Jeonghan. “Exactly. Everyone problematic.”

Chan’s jaw is clenched as he racks his brain to come up with a smart comeback. The sight of him stumbling on his words is nothing but pitiful, so you turn back to the cutting board and grab an onion to slice in half. “I’m not interested in your sob story, your Highness. I don’t care why you’re under the protection of the RPP. The only thing I care about is that you stay out of my business.”

“Chan is fine. No need for the title,” he sighs with a strain. “Perhaps I should’ve been more considerate with my first comment. Youngjae already told me about your… negative attitude towards the entire setup. It wasn’t my intention to anger you. Sorry.”

Well, that’s new. Out of the dozens of aristocrats you’ve met (and sadly also shared a house with back when you were 16 years old and still living with your dad), he’s the first to drop his title within five minutes for the sake of the disguise and apologize.

“We live under the same roof so we should get along with each other. If there’s something you need help with, just ask me, (y/n).”

“Thanks for the offer,” you reply nonchalantly because act civilized unless you want to suffer from a late-night sneak attack from Youngjae if he finds out. “But no thanks. I don’t need your help.”

You find yourself in need of help a few weeks later, right before the dreaded exam season.

“No. Forget it, Bam. I’m not going out clubbing with you tonight. In fact, I won’t do that anytime soon.” you let out an exasperated sigh as you try to break down to your friend that you prioritize your grades over his need of getting wasted.

“C’mon!” he whines so loudly that you have to put your phone farther away from your ear. “You’re not in that much stress yet! You have to make the most out of it before you drown in your exams.”

“Things are different for engineering students like, uh, me for example!” you hiss. “I fell behind and need to catch up. Ask Yugyeom or Changbin.”

“First of all, Yugyeom is always at the bar doing his job. And Changbin never picks up his phone. There’s nobody who’d dance with me!”

“You abandoned me at the bar for some chick the last time,” you deadpan. “I’m very sure you’ll find someone.”

Bambam finally gets the gist and gives up. “Fine then. Your loss. Have fun dying in numbers and variables instead of living in the moment. You’re going to regret it—”

You end the call and set your phone on mute before throwing it on the bed. Sometimes you wonder whether you were on drugs when you decided to major in engineering. The longer you stare at the jumble of numbers and letters — some of them in Greek too — the more you think your brain cells are decaying.

That’s how you find yourself in the kitchen, complaining at Youngjae’s expense and telling him how much you’d rather drown in bleach than subjecting yourself to Algebra II.

“You know there’s someone you can ask for help and he’s right here,” Youngjae drawls before chugging down the rest of his beer. If he’s going to be a victim to your temper tantrum about a major that you chose yourself, he might as well get a drink so he won’t go insane from your monologue about numbers and graphs and formulas he’s forgotten since he graduated from high school.

You gawk at him. “You? Are you hearing yourself? You almost failed maths. Twice!”

“Because I didn’t mean myself, dipshit,” he says blankly and his eyes flit over your shoulder, “Speaking of the devil. There comes the man of honor.”

You whip your head back to the door to see Chan enter confusedly. “Uh, did I interrupt something?”

“Yes.”

“No, we were just talking about you!”

You send Youngjae a death glare which he casually shrugs off. “(y/n) here is bitching about her Statistics I class and needs a tutor!”

“It’s actually Algebra II if you bothered to pay attention—”

“(y/n) needs a tutor!” Youngjae exclaims and nearly trips on his feet when he gets up from his chair. “Channie, I heard you’re good with numbers. Didn’t you get accepted into all Ivy Leagues in the States for all engineering programs?”

“You didn’t have to word it like that,” Chan laughs it off and nervously rubs the back of his head. He’s not denying it though.

“Obviously he would. He’s loaded and lives in a castle,” you mutter under your breath, but everyone catches it.

“Hey,” Youngjae warns. “That wasn’t necessary.”

“It’s alright,” Chan says casually. “I just wanted to get myself a snack. But if you have some questions, don’t hesitate to knock on my door. The offer still stands, y’know.” He digs through the cabinet until he finds two packs of the strawberry flavored Pocky knockoff that is 1) apparently his favorite thing to eat and 2) half the price of the Pocky version. He gives Youngjae a thumbs up before he returns to his room.

The moment Chan is out of sight, Youngjae whips his head to you, nostrils flaring. All that’s missing is steam coming out of his ears and his face running red and then he looks like the impetuous brother in every kids cartoon ever. “Really? He’s been staying with us for how long now? Four weeks? Five? Yet you’re still acting as if he murdered you in your dreams or something.”

“I don’t like him,” you state coldly. Youngjae looks like he’s about to rip his hair out.

“Look, I get that you don’t like me being active in this field of work, and I get that you have some hatred against the royal families. But you know you signed up for this when you decided to move in with me.” Youngjae pauses to get a breather and pop a new beer bottle open. “Besides, Chan isn’t like Baron Jeonghan or Duchess Shiah. I have eyes, (y/n), and I’ve seen you two avoiding each other as much as possible. And he doesn’t just laze around — he does the fucking chores and cooks dinner too! Chan is good, (y/n).”

The last words make you snap. “Good? Are you fucking serious? Because that’s why the press in his kingdom is depicting him as a tyrant who cares more about building his sick harem instead of helping the poor. And wasn’t he diagnosed for having anger management issues?!”

All the color leaves Youngjae’s face. This is obviously something you shouldn’t know. While he’s scrambling for words, you take the chance to add, “Dunno why you’re protecting him when he’s making headlines as a prince who can’t keep his dick in his pants.”

“Chan isn’t just a prince,” Youngjae says quietly. “He’s the crown prince.”

Your eyes widen at the confession. “What? Isn’t that even worse with that reputation he has?”

“It’s all propaganda,” he sighs and takes a swig, “The ministers are doing everything they can to finish him off. You see, Chan is the only child of the current king of the seven islands, and if he’s wiped out, it’ll be utter chaos. Chan’s smart and I admit, he used to have anger issues, but he’s worked on them. Though I guess he’s resorted to bottling up his feelings when push comes to pull. The point is, all the higher-ups don’t want him as their future king because they know that Chan is very much capable of pulling through with his own ideas and that doesn’t sit well with them. And a supposedly impulsive future king is the last thing anyone wants, hence why his people are eating up the news.”

“Oh.” you’d be lying if you said you didn’t feel an ounce of remorse. However, it’s not the first time you’ve heard such stories.

“Yeah. Oh,” Youngjae mocks, “If that’s the main reason why you don’t want to talk to him, now you know better. He might have power, but he’s not a monster. And for the record, he got into all Ivy Leagues and elite schools all over the world through his intelligence, not his status.”

Although you can see it in his eyes that Youngjae is done with the heated discussion, he’s still waiting for you to say something. You frown. “So… you think he’s a good tutor?”

“He’s your only shot.” Youngjae says nonchalantly, then adds with a warning tone, “But remember: Act. Civilized. Oh, and don’t tell him I told you about his circumstances. It’s supposed to be confidential information.”

You roll your eyes. How the fuck hasn’t Youngjae been busted yet?

Nonetheless, you’re trudging to Chan’s door a few minutes later, your fat binder of incomprehensible math formulas and (Greek) letter heavy in your arm. Chan opens the door with surprise etched on his face after you knocked, but it settles to warmth when you begrudgingly ask him to help you understand Algebra II.

“Sorry, it’s a little messy here,” he chuckles airily once he lets you in. It’s not messy per se, just a few clothes piled up in a corner of the room and some books and messily written notes lying on his bed. Still, it’s by far cleaner than the pig stall that is Youngjae’s room (and yours when you’re having a very bad day).

Chan clears his desk and drags his other chair to the table before plopping down on it. “So, what’s the problem?” Instead of answering, you just shove a sheet of paper up his face. “Y’know, you can talk to me. If this is about earlier, it’s really alright. I’m not mad or anything,” he says with the same friendly tone you’ve been hearing ever since he moved in, yet he still takes the sheet from you. You watch his brows scrunch together the more he reads on, and you can already see the question forming in his mind.

“(y/n), you do know this is the basis to understand—”

“I was absent when the professor covered it and everyone I asked couldn’t quite explain it to me,” you respond before he can finish speaking out his thoughts. “All my friends were like—” you gesture with your hands, “—you just do this and that and then hope your hunch is right. Before you say it, yes I know that I don’t get the material of one entire unit and the exam is two weeks away.”

“Then let’s not waste any time,” Chan says before grabbing his iPad. You stare at him blankly as he writes something on his tablet. The last thing you expected from him was to accept it and try to hammer as much of missing information as he can into your brain, but then again, you’ve never seen him backtrack whenever Youngjae asks him something. Speaking of Youngjae, perhaps he is right. Chan does seem to know what he’s talking about.

“You have to subtract X first, then replace it with Y,” he explains as he circles said letters in different colors. By now, you’ve leaned closer to him to get a better view on what he’s writing (his handwriting isn’t the worst you’ve ever had to decode; refer to Youngjae who you’ve internally awarded with the worst handwriting of the decade).

Chan is exceptionally good at explaining. You feel like you’ve figured out a secret of the world that not even Pythagoras found out as you slowly understand what on Earth you are supposed to calculate with the formula. Chan is patient, always asking if you got it or if you needed another clarification, and takes the time to draw colorful graphs to visualize the jumble of numbers. His voice is pleasing to the ear too, soft and gentle to the point where you’ve blurred everything out except Chan. Chan’s voice. Chan’s hand.

You didn’t mean to stare, but with him always adding something new every five seconds as he goes on with his monologue, you can’t help but do so. His fingers aren’t long — that’ll always be courtesy of Hyunjin from Subway and yes, his very pretty hands might be the sole reason you only insist on going to that one specific Subway at the intersection next to KFC — but just one glance at Chan’s hand and you know that he’s strong.

He’s barely applying pressure to the pen, but you can see the veins slightly protruding. Chan’s sleeves are pushed back and if you move your head a bit, you’re more than certain that veins are bulging out from his forearms too. However, you don’t muster up the courage to do that because Chan will definitely notice and the last thing you want on your platter is to tell him that you were too busy checking out his arms instead of listening to him talk about Algebra II.

Eventually, Chan sets the pen down to stretch his hand. He says something, but you don’t pick up what exactly. Not that it’d matter much anyway since you’re too busy admiring his hand—

“(y/n), you there? I called out your name several times but you didn’t react.” Chan’s breath hitches and surprise flashes in his eyes for a split second when his gaze meets yours. You don’t understand his hesitation, but then horror bubbles in you once you realize that his hand is firmly gripping your chin and keeping your head pointed at his direction. The very same hand you’ve been staring at for God knows how long.

“I’m good. Just a little tired, but I’m good,” you stutter, though it comes out very breathlessly as if you just finished a marathon.

“Tired?” Chan echoes, concern settling into his features. “You should’ve said so, then I would’ve stopped talking. You need something?”

Now that you think about it, you’ve never got a close look at Chan. Sure, he’s handsome, the countless pictures of Google prove that he’s also too photogenic for his own good (goddamnit, why didn’t your parents make you just as photogenic?) but in person, he’s something else. His lips are plush and look very inviting to kiss, and the lower your eyes wander, the more you see a toned chest hidden underneath that damn shit that hugs him in all the right places.

Fine, his hands aren’t the only attractive thing about him. Then again, he’s a prince.

“I said I’m good.” you snap out of your thoughts and finally gather enough control over your nerves to tear his hand away. “And I caught everything you said.” Of course, you know that’s a blatant lie and he knows so too from the way he’s looking at you. That is until he quirks a brow.

“Okay, then what did I say before I called you?”

Your mouth feels dry. It’s almost as if he knew the reason for your distress. “I caught everything relevant to this,” you mutter, suddenly finding his curtains much more interesting. What an interesting design, maybe you should get yourself new curtains too—

“Then you wouldn’t mind solving these questions, right? Just so I can make sure that you got everything down.”

“Sure,” you reply because that’s the only thing you could say without hurting your ego and straining your vocal cords. Chan doesn’t comment any further and looks for some practice questions before sliding the iPad to you. Already the first question makes your head spin in disdain. Numbers? Variables? Never heard of them.

Chan is watching you like a hawk as you fiddle with the pen, unable to write down anything that makes remote sense. Feeling his eyes on you makes you feel helpless and you shift around in your seat. “What are you staring at?” you glare at him once you give up for good, and you just hope that your look is as intimidating as you pictured in your head.

“You’re definitely exhausted. You’re shaking,” Chan points out. Your eyes widen as you stare down and realize that your thighs are shaking, and it’s then and there when you realize that you’re feeling hot. Seems like Chan doesn’t realize that because the worry written on his face is genuine. “You say the exam’s in two weeks right? We can stop for today and work on this tomorrow. That is if you still want my help.”

You nod and add in a tiny voice, “Yes, please.”

You’re too busy ignoring the heat building between your thighs to notice the borderline feral sound that leaves Chan.

“And here I thought you had quality bonding time.” Youngjae gives a disappointed look. “You’re acting even colder towards him than before your exam meltdown. Your prick level can only stoop down so low.”

You ended up getting tutor lessons from Chan every day before the dreaded day of judgment: the exam in Algebra II. You spent more hours in his room than on your own if you were completely honest, and the results were fruitful. While you did manage to pass the exam with a fairly high score, the price you had to pay was hell.

It’s almost as if Chan caught up on your hand fixation. Sometimes he twirled the pen in his fingers, sometimes it was the simple bracelet dangling on his wrist. Just when you thought he had you figured out, he asks you if you’re alright, visibly oblivious to his effect on you. Such duality in a person should be illegal, you conclude. If you die from whiplash, you know who the perpetrator is.

“You were the one who pretty much pressured me into asking him for help,” you drawl.

“I had good intentions only! You can’t keep up the I-hate-royal-families-blah-blah mentality the entire time!” Youngjae wails before stuffing a handful of chips in his mouth.

“Watch me.” You internally cringe at the loud crunching sounds he’s making and add vigorously, “And stop chewing so loudly.”

“You’ll get around or so help me God—” he groans when his phone buzzes. He doesn’t spare a glance at the caller ID because there’s only one person who has set his ringtone to the baby shark song specifically for when he’s calling. “I gotta go, Jinyoung’s being a bitch again. Don’t murder somebody. Thanks.” You only watch him shuffle for his bag and grab a handful of chips before he’s out the door. Groaning, you clean up the mess he’s made on the table.

Just as you’re done wiping the crumbs off the surface, Chan pads into the room.

“Hey, can we talk?”

“I established right at the beginning that you should only talk to me when absolutely necessary.” you scowl, trying to walk past him.

“Well, this is important,” he urges and blocks the doorway, effectively stopping you from fleeing. “And I do deserve one conversation with you after I helped you out.”

“You offered on your own. That’s not the same as asking for a favor.” You successfully push your way past him, but in the next moment, he spins you around and pins you against the wall.

“We’re going to talk, whether you like it or not.” The sudden coldness of his tone has shivers running down your spine. Chan holds your wrist in an iron grip and if he clutched on any tighter, you wouldn’t put it past him to break your bones. Out of options, you comply and give him a curt nod before he lets go and takes a step back.

“I don’t understand you, (y/n). I genuinely thought you would put your prejudices aside but instead, all I get are mixed signals from you.”

It’s your turn to gawk. “Me? Mixed signals? What are you talking about?”

“I’m talking about how you keep looking at me as if you want me to fuck your brains out.” If the color hasn’t drained from your face yet, it has now. Chan smiles wickedly at your horrified reaction but doesn’t stop there. “I’m talking about how you talk like you don’t want anything to do with me but act as if you’re begging for my attention.” He takes a step closer to you, and you wish you could morph with the wall. “I’m talking about how you keep staring at my hands and think I don’t notice it.” You wince when he rests his hands against the wall on each side of your face, leaning closer so that you can feel his breath on your lips. “So, you have a thing for my hands?” Bullseye.

“You’re so full of yourself. No wonder your ministers want to get rid of you,” you snap because you’d rather suffer from food poisoning than admitting that you want Chan’s fingers in you.

Something shifts within Chan. He gapes at you, clearly not expecting you to even know about the ministers. His demeanor darkens in a blink of an eye, and you feel like your legs are about to give up on you when you meet his eyes, black and feral.

“You’re playing with fire. Don’t anger me,” he warns, voice low and rough.

“So it’s true that you resorted to bottling up your feelings, your Highness?” you cock your head to the side. Chan clenches his jaw at the mention of his title, struggling to keep his anger in check. You laugh through your nose, then grab one of his hands and force it away from the wall. If he already knows that you’re thirsting after him, might as well go for it. “It’s funny how your ministers aren’t able to string you around like a puppet yet here you are, unable to do anything against a commoner. You know you have nice hands and you know my weakness and yet, you’re not using them on me.” He gulps when you fumble with his fingers.

And then he understands.

“Unless I misread the situation,” he says darkly, though you distinguish the slight tremor his voice carries. “Do you really want this? I’m not going to go easy on you.” Chan is dead serious, judging by the way he’s looking at you expectantly.

“The safe word is petunia.” You don’t take your eyes off him and add in a louder tone, “Now try me, do your worst.”

“You’re going to regret wanting me at my worst,” Chan growls and before you know it, he crashes his lips against yours. The kiss is anything but sweet, more of a clash of teeth and tongues and saliva dribbling down your chins, yet it leaves you boiling hot and wobbly on your feet. He presses you up against the wall and forces his leg between yours, the sudden contact making you hunch forward. You moan against his mouth when he tugs harshly on your hair, the sting making your nerves go haywire. In the meantime, your hands roam his upper body, blunt nails digging into his shoulders as you try to buck your hips against his leg. While he doesn’t budge, you manage to elicit a groan out of him.

When you pull away, you’re both gasping for air. Chan’s hair is disheveled from the way you’ve been pulling on them, lips pink and glossy. One look in his eyes is enough to make your heart stop beating. They’re dark and animalistic and set ablaze with unfiltered lust. You’re such in a daze from a simple kiss that you nearly stumble when Chan drags you to his room.

He manhandles you on his bed with ease before his lips latch on yours once more. You nearly sob when he rids you off your pants, putting pressure in all the right places to have you losing your mind. As you’re about to gain back some dominance in the kiss, he breaks it off. His fingers that were once ghosting over your underwear are now tracing patterns all over the material, making you spasm. “You’re such a brat, all bark but no bite. All it takes is one kiss and you’ve lost all your fight. Can you get any more pathetic?” he mocks as he focuses his fingertips directly on the wet patch of your underwear. Your eyes roll back as he rubs on the same spot, the broken moans leaving you eerily similar to cries. “Don’t tell me you’re about to come like this. How sensitive are you?”

“Am n-not—” you cut yourself off with a whimper when he lets the waistband snap against your skin.

“Yeah, you sure about that?” he grins and that’s when you break, feeling your high approaching at lightning speed.

“Don’t wanna come like this—”

“But I thought you’re not sensitive?” the satisfied grin just widens with every syllable that leaves his lips. “If you don’t want to come like this, all over your underwear, beg.”

Chan applies even more force to your sensitive spots, and you struggle to have a clear thought. The smirk he delivers is lethal, and you couldn’t be any more convinced that he’s the devil’s incarnate.

“I’ll do anything, please. Don’t let me come like this, that’s all I’m a-aah-asking for,” you weep, your blood nearly boiling at its climax, “I’ll even take a punishment!”

“Say my name,” he orders, fingers still drawing circles.

“Your—”

“My name, not my title.”

Your breath hitches as you finally realize what he’s aiming for. He wants you to remember that it’s him who’s reducing you into this illiterate mess. Him, the one you’ve been despising since before you even met. If you still had any ounce of dignity left, you’d try to fix the power imbalance until you’re left with no choice but to obey, but now you’re so close and the last thing you want to do is come with your pants on.

“Please, Chan,” your voice breaks towards the end and in an instant, he pulls away. As you’re letting you’re basking in the break from his brutal tempo, not too affected by how your upcoming orgasm is fading away, Chan observes you.

And then out of nowhere, he flips you on your stomach and delivers a hard smack to your ass that has you screaming into the pillows.

“You said you’d take any punishment too, right?” You twitch as he rubs the small of your back. You can already imagine the handprints on your ass he continued to slap you with such force that has you moving up the bed. The pain that’s going to haunt you for days. Before you know it, you try to arch your back to lift your ass, but then the bed shifts. “But if you really think I’m going to spank you as a punishment, then you’re really fucking dumb. As if I’ll use my hands on you when we both know you love my hands.”

With that, he drops himself on his chair, spreading his legs that you can see the prominent tent forming in his pants. He orders you over with a flick of his finger, and just as you get up from the bed, a new wave of horror flushes over you.

“Crawl.”

The look you send him is priceless. There’s no fucking way you can do it. It’s just a few meters, nothing you can’t handle, but he’s there sitting on his Ikea swivel chair as if it’s his throne made of gold, watching your every movement like a predator. And then there’s you, only in a shirt and underwear, being forced to go on all fours as if you were his fucking dog—

The difference in power display couldn’t get any more visible. He really is the fucking worst.

“You’d really do anything, huh…” he muses as you drop on your hands and knees and crawl to him, never looking up. It’s only when he beckons you to stand up that you look at him with nothing but rage and shame in your eyes. Chan has always been slightly terrified with your death stare but right now, he can’t take it seriously and it shows. It shows in the way he smiles lopsidedly, in the way his brows quirk in amusement. “Now hump my leg.”

Humiliation runs through your body all over. Your fists are clenched as he waits for you to act, even pats his thigh in case you didn’t get the memo. But oh you do, and his thigh does look inviting.

“Hump my leg like the brainless bitch you are. If you want my hands or my cock, you earn it first. Especially since you treated me like shit ever since I moved in.” The last sentence burns you badly because he has a point. But then there’s the prospect of his hands and dick that’s bulging out of his pants.

Pushing all thoughts away, you settle on his leg. Taking a moment to gather yourself, you tell yourself it’s all good and then you move. The first thrust knocks all air out of your lungs and you grab onto his shoulders for support. You didn’t even move that much, but Chan’s looking at you as if he’s about to fucking devour you and knowing that he is very much capable of moving you around, you’re starting to become overwhelmed.

Eventually, you lose yourself in the feeling of his rough jeans against your drenched underwear, humping on his thigh as your orgasm builds up. It’s silent, save for your pants, and the countless whimpers flying past your lips as your movements gradually become sloppier. You’re almost there and you know it. But so does Chan, and the moment he’s got it figured out, he lunges from your hips and forces you to pick up the pace.

“Oh no, you’re going to come,” he growls, ignoring your pleas and sobs. Adrenaline courses in your blood and you know it isn’t long until you fall apart. You try to make him stop, even put your hands on his, but you don’t have the energy to actively push him away.

“Chan, please— I’m gonna—”

“You’re gonna come? Then fucking come on my thigh, (y/n),” he snaps, and then adds, “You hear that? You’re about to come from humping my thigh.”

Maybe it’s the realization that he’s right, maybe it’s the way he’s worded it. Either way, it’s the last straw to make you spasm as you come, soaking your underwear and even managing to make a mess out of his pants. Chan makes sure you ride through your orgasm, only stopping to move your hips once you’re all spent and resting your head on his shoulder. Your eyes are glassy, vision foggy, but the only thing you can envision clearly is Chan.

Chan jolts when your hand grazes over his bulge. You’re about to undo his pants, but he’s quick to stop you and restrict your hands behind your back.

“You think you deserve my cock? Dream on. As if I would fuck any commoner, especially those who don’t respect me,” he spits, and you flinch at his choice of words, clearly recalling that you used the exact same terms and he’s now using it against you. “You said you’d take any punishment. Well, guess what? This was just punishment number one.”

#yes the ending is rushed oops sue me #may consider part 2 so heads up #stray kids smut #skz smut #bang chan smut #chan smut #smut.mine #dom!chan #sub!reader #crispy.txt

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atozfic · 3 years

Text

not a single person asked for this but i saw a bunch of people i follow do this and the attention whore in me decided i needed to inflict you all with my answers. consider me annoying or wtv.

1. why did you choose your url?

because atoz sounds like ateez and,,, i write fics?? but lowkey wanna change it to joongpiter but i’m scared it’ll ruin my brand.

2. do you have any sideblogs? if you do, name them and say why you have them.

i have a sideblog where i test out themes. i also use it as a way to create a backlog of fics to read when i get the time (by dming them to that account). i’m not gonna name it because it’s quite literally inactive.

3. how long have you been on tumblr?

too long. the only way i can really describe the time is by saying tumblr still had porn and tagged smut as lemon when i started using it. though, i was way too young to be looking at that shit, ngl.

4. do you have a queue tag?

no, but i always schedule my fics to release at like,, 4 am so i can wake up to the feedback/not be constantly refreshing till i get my first note on it.

5. why did you start your blog?

idk, i’ve been writing fics for years and have been into kpop for probably just as long. but my ults, shinee, were never really in high demand for fics? but i started thinking about creating an account the more that ateez climbed up my stan list over the years. my overactive brain kept creating scenarios with the members and,, well,, the rest is history.

6. why did you choose your icon/pfp?

because i have the phattest, most unashamed crush on miss roseanne park. i just have this massive soft spot for her in my heart. plus, she is vv pretty and it goes with my aesthetics.

7. why did you choose your header?

summer is coming, which means it’s tropical boys season.

8. what's your post with the most notes?

ateez & pussy eating and i regret posting it everyday. it’s literal garbage.

9. how many mutuals do you have?

i’m going to be really honest, my brain doesn’t understand what the true meaning of a mutual is. if we’re going by technical terms, then yeah i follow quite a lot of people who follow me too. but i’ve never been able to understand the true meaning of it, i don’t understand the boundaries and shit, which is why i tend to just keep to myself. ig i have a few people who i at least consider mutuals but i’m unsure if they feel the same.

10. how many followers do you have?

745 and idk why but thanks, y’all are hot.

11. how many people do you follow?

100, i really need to find more accounts.

12. have you ever made a shitpost?

please use my entire blog as exhibit a.

13. how often do you use tumblr each day?

i come on fairly often but it’s typically just to write or reblog gifs/fics.

14. have you ever had a fight/argument with another blog? who won?

no, the closest i’ve gotten was a small misunderstanding that ended with both of us apologizing and wishing each other well.

15. how do you feel about 'you need to compare this' posts?

i have no idea what that means.

16. do you like tag games?

yes and no. i enjoy doing them but i hate the tagging part because, while i have tons of people i’d like to tag, i don’t want to feel like i’m being annoying or like i’m crossing a boundary.

17. do you like ask games?

yes and no. it’s fun when people participate but it fills me with embarrassment when no one does.

18. which of your mutuals do you think is tumblr famous?

wtf is tumblr famous. i think maybe one? but that’s just because people speak about them on other platforms.

19. do you have a crush on a mutual?

i have a crush on anyone who shows me a slither of kindness, so yes.

#i will take the crown for most annoying writer on atinyblr thank you

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sodamvelvets · 4 years

Text

“best in the world”

son seungwan x fem reader

word count: 1,860

warnings: one swear?

a/n: ahhhh, I kinda hate this one ngl, but I hope you all enjoy anyways! I hope to be releasing an Irene and then a Seulgi fic in the following weeks :D

Son Seungwan has always loved you, ever since the moment she laid eyes on you eight months ago, she knew her world would become all about you, and indeed it has. Every free second she has, her thoughts only ever seem to be about you. How she loves the way your body fits so perfectly with hers or your uncanny ability to always know just the thing to say to make the older girl smile even on her worst days. To Seungwan, you are the very definition of perfect.

But lately, Wendy has been worrying that you don’t quite know how much she truly loves you, and maybe you’re beginning to lose interest in her. Don’t get her wrong though, it’s not because of anything you’re outwardly doing, in fact, you’re so perfect that it’s as Yerim puts it “devastating and sickening”. It’s just that sometimes Seungwan feels like a burden. It’s not exactly easy dating her, something she especially realizes whenever she goes on tour, leaving you alone in your Seoul apartment. Or the times when she returns to her dorm at one in the morning after staying late at the practice rooms to perfect her part, only to find you waiting sleepily in the kitchen with a soft smile, a gesture that is always oh so sweet of you but also makes Seungwan feel endlessly guilty.

Her life as an idol has always made it hard to spend time with you, but whenever she can find that moment, she always makes sure to spoil you, taking you to lavish restaurants and buying you expensive gifts, because after all money isn’t really a problem for Seungwan. But despite this, Wendy still feels like she’s not quite doing enough, and that maybe you think she’s just trying to buy your affection when the reality is she’s simply worried that doing mundane things together like watching a movie or baking cookies will make you think she’s boring and want to leave her.

You could do better, Seungwan believes, and you probably know that too. Which is why she finds herself sitting alone in the darkness of her Fukuoka hotel room, mindlessly singing along to her current favorite song, her members having left over an hour ago for a post-performance dinner that Wendy had politely declined. Seungwan had, of course, considered calling you, but eventually decided against it, knowing you probably have some form of work to do tonight and you’d most likely be better off without her distracting you. So instead she opted to lay down and plug in her earbuds, drowning herself in her favorite album, that, as usual, reminds her of you, and thus leading her down the rabbit hole of insecurities where she currently resides.

She is so lost in her music and thoughts in fact, that she doesn’t quite hear the electronic click of the lock as her group leader, Joohyun, lets herself into the hotel room, and it isn’t until the older girl flicks the lights on causing Wendy to jump, that Seungwan realizes she’s no longer alone.

“I figured you’d be hungry,” Irene says as she kicks off her shoes, holding up a bag of takeout and a pair of disposable chopsticks before gently setting it on the kitchen counter. “It’s spicy noodles.”

Wendy only smiles gratefully in response, truthfully feeling a little too anxious to eat, but still, she mumbles thanks to Joohyun, secretly touched by her leader’s thoughtfulness. And as Seungwan moves over slightly, feeling Joohyun sit down beside her, she can’t help but think to herself that you’d be much better off with someone like Joohyun.

For a moment, the two sit in comfortable silence, Joohyun watching Wendy with furrowed brows, seemingly getting a read for the younger girl’s current state.

“Seungwan,” Irene says slowly, rubbing her neck and looking at Wendy with a sort of worried smile. “Do you want to talk?”

Honestly, Wendy isn’t really all too surprised by Joohyun’s offer, she herself knows she’s been off all day, especially during their concert, where the blonde was much more reserved than usual, something her sometimes too perceptive leader was bound to notice.

And perhaps, Seungwan thinks to herself, she should talk about what she’s feeling because it wouldn’t hurt to do so, and besides, it wasn’t like it could go any worse than the last time when she made the mistake of going to Sooyoung about it, only to be promptly slapped upside the head and called an “overthinking pompous idiot”.

So Wendy somewhat hesitantly tells Joohyun everything, and maybe Irene rolls her eyes when Seungwan isn’t looking because even the slightest mention of you not loving Wendy anymore makes Joohyun want to laugh aloud at her younger friends obliviousness. It is impossible, Irene thinks, that Seungwan has never once noticed the way you look at her with so much adoration as if Wendy herself personally hung every star in the night sky. But instead, like Sooyoung, Irene settles on calling Seungwan an idiot.

“Really Joohyun?” Wendy groans burying her head in her pillow. “I spill my heart out and that’s all you have to say?”

“I’m sorry,” Irene says with a laugh, placing her hand in Seungwan’s shoulder. “But there is just no way that girl doesn’t love you, she literally looks at you as if you’re an angel sent from above. Hell, just the other day she told Seulgi she wanted to marry you!”

Seungwan’s eyes widen. She’s at a loss for words. “Really?”

Joohyun chuckles, shaking her head in an exasperated way. “Yes, really. Y/n loves you, Wendy, so much, but if you’re worried she doesn’t know that you love her, then just tell her.”

Seungwan nods, suddenly hugging the older girl. “I will. Thank you, Joohyun.”

“You guys are so cute!” Wendy yelps as she tears herself out of Irene’s arms, eyes landing on Kang Seulgi, who is watching at the two with a bemused expression, before suddenly tackling Seungwan and tousling the blonde’s hair into a knotted mess, all as Joohyun cackles at her younger members’ childish behavior.

“I really don’t miss sharing a room with you two,” Wendy mumbles, and Irene smacks the back of her head, causing Seulgi to laugh.

///

Seungwan immediately smiles when she sees you. Despite the fact that you had texted her earlier that you would be waiting for her in her dorm, she can’t help the excitement that fills her stomach as she runs a hand through your hair, taking a moment to admire your sleeping form. “Y/N,” She whispers lowly, softly shaking you awake, her heart melting as your eyes blink open slowly.

“Wendy!” You exclaim, the sleepiness lacing your body instantly gone as you launch yourself into Seungwan’s arms, causing the older girl to stumble back in shock at the sudden force, taking a moment to adjust herself as her hands move to support you at your waistline, while you rapidly place kisses everywhere you can. “I missed you so much!”

Wendy laughs heartily, hugging you tightly and nuzzling the top of your head before placing you back on her bed. She quickly climbs in beside you and rapidly moves to straddle you, a look of adoration filling her eyes as she hangs above you. You only giggle in response, Wendy’s blonde locks tickling your cheeks as she slowly leans down and captures your lips with her own in a slow and purposeful kiss. “I missed you more.” She breathes out, resting her forehead against yours, a lopsided grin spreading across her face.

Your fingers reach up to gently trace her jawline and then down to the base of her neck, causing her to shiver as you tenderly pull her into you, shifting yourself so the two of you are laying face to face, noses just barely touching. “I doubt that,” You tease. “How was Japan?”

Wendy’s smile almost instantly fades into an expression of unsureness, as she remembers the night before. “Hey,” You say, alarmed by the change in the older girl’s mood. “What’s wrong?”

Wendy looks at you, her brown eyes filled with worry as she gently grabs your hands. “I guess,” The older girl closes her eyes for a moment searching for the right word. “It’s just, I love you so much y/n, and I’m sorry if I don’t say it enough, but I really want you to know that. I feel like I never have enough time for us, and that when I do, I’m always trying to spoil you and it makes it seem like I’m trying to purchase your love.” Wendy has started crying by now, and as hard as she tries, she can’t stop the mess of words spilling from her mouth as she continues to ramble. “But I promise it’s not like that, it’s just because of my job I can’t be with you as much as I want and I feel like I have to make up for that by always doing exciting things with you so you don’t get bored of me, but in reality, I really just want to like, bake some cookies together or something, and god y/n, I just love you so freaking much and every day I‘m so scared that I’ll lose you.”

As Seungwan finishes, she finally looks at you in the eyes, which are filled with shock and something else she can’t quite read. “I’m so sorry.” Wendy quickly says, regretting her words. She laughs softly, clearly choking back a sob. “I shouldn’t have said that.”

Your eyes widen, realizing she’s mistaken your dumbfounded silence as something else, and you find yourself pulling the older girl into your side, clutching her tightly as she begins to cry into your shoulder.

“Hey, no, it’s okay, baby, it’s okay.” You mumble, wiping her tears away and running your fingers through her hair. “Seungwan, I swear I will never leave you. I love you so much, not because of the things you buy me, but because of you. I promise you there was never even a single second where I thought you didn’t love me,” You chuckle suddenly, poking Seungwan’s side causing the older girl to giggle. “Plus let’s be real, If any of us should be worrying about not being good enough it should be me, you’re not only a gorgeous and talented woman but also one of Korea’s favorite idols, you could literally be with anyone but you chose me.”

Wendy laughs into your neck, unable to believe that you’re even real. “I wouldn’t choose anyone else Y/N.”

“Me neither.” Wendy's smile only widens as she feels you lightly press a kiss into her head. “And Honestly?” You say, moving so you can look Wendy in the eyes. “Baking cookies sounds fucking awesome.”

Wendy grins. “I have a day off tomorrow if you want to.”

You beam at her, nodding excitedly. “You, Son Seungwan,” you say, suddenly cupping the older girl's face, “Are the best in the world.”

And maybe it’s only your opinion, but as Wendy kisses you she realizes she doesn’t really care, because in the end, you’re the only one who’s word matters.

#girl group scenarios #girl group imagines #red velvet scenario #red velvet imagines #red velvet x reader #red velvet fluff #red velvet #Wendy imagines #wendy x reader #wendy scenarios #wendy

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thrillridesz · 4 years

Note

Could you ship tbz members with your mutuals? (Seeing this everywhere so I thought why not pass it to you!)

ahh i’ve been seeing this everywhere as well!! i’ve actually done this awhile back but since i’ve gained a lot of new mutuals since then, i’ll just give it a go once more ^^

i may or may not have put too much thought into this oops 🤭

sangyeon + @moondustaeil @aveluant1a

talking to amber feels like i’m talking to a trusted older sister ngl. she's one of the people i’d turn to for an honest opinion or some much needed advice on stuff and i value her insights very much. she's also very mature in their thinking which is what i think sangyeon would appreciate a lot as the leader of a group of 11 (10) other boys who are always constantly on crack.

as for yu, she gives me very gentle and calm vibes seriously. she’s strikes me off as a hard worker from our conversations and she is very dedicated to her writing which i believe sangyeon would love in a person. i can already imagine him just staring at her work, with a look of affection and admiration in his eyes 😆

jacob + @ihearttbz

riane is an absolute angel to talk to and i love our conversations tgt because it’s always so easy to talk to her and i feel like i can tell her a lot of things i normally wouldn’t tell anyone else. she’d pair very well with jacob and just be that couple that everyone loves and adores, the really sweet couple that people just love to hang around with 💞

younghoon + @chaoticdeobi

um was it really going to be anyone else other than bea? XD younghoon as we know is a pretty shy person and bea to me, seems like the opposite of that. in their case, i think the phrase ‘opposite attracts’ is applicable! bea’s enthusiasm and liveliness is something younghoon would definitely find to be very charming, prompting him to come out of his shell very quickly when he’s around her. i believe whatever he lacks, she makes up for it and vice versa

hyunjae + @bobagyu @kpophours

rose is just so random and funny sometimes which is honestly just like hyunjae to a tee, they’re just so like each other in a way! i get the feeling that rose may be a little unsure of herself sometimes ( which she shouldn’t ) and i think hyunjae would be a great fit because he would definitely be able to help her become more confident while she can probably teach him to be a little less tough and be more vulnerable to his own feelings.

anna is an extremely bright and outgoing person from what i can tell from our conversations. i think that would complement well with hyunjae’s loud and larger than life personality and they would a 100% be that couple that everyone just asks to tone it down but secretly love having them around because they’re just so intriguing and fun to have around 💫

juyeon + @jyeonvoir

elsie has these very calm vibes and i’ve mentioned this before but she gives mad older sister vibes as well. she’s gentle and soft, very much like juyeon and ngl i may be just a little intimidated by her at first but after getting to know her, she’s actually super friendly and nice! she and juyeon would make a lovely couple and i can totally imagining them just chilling on a rainy night, watching Netflix while he wraps his arms around her in a warm embrace.

kevin + @2hyunjae @mae-gi-writes

luna imo is pretty quiet for the most part but once you talk to her, she’s actually pretty fun to talk to! she’s also artistically inclined ( also have you seen her calligraphy skills? they’re insanely good omf ) which i think kevin would appreciate a lot as an artist himself! i feel like he can bring her out of her shell and when he does, he’d just be enchanted by her lovely personality and did i just write a fluffy fic prompt?? o.o

mae is JUST. SO. CUTE. my biggest kevin stan out there, you would be a great match for kevin i just know it. your enthusiasm and your meme vibes would complement kevin perfectly! she’s incredibly supportive and lively which is definitely something i think kevin would look out for in a partner. i can 100% see him with someone who’s just like mae in the future 💓

chanhee + @tidalstorm

something about ros to me screams vogue and classiness and when i think of her, i feel like she’s super bougie? maybe im wrong but that’s how i feel! i get the same vibe around chanhee as well and her really cute personality i feel will mesh well with chanhee’s seemingly harder personality? they’re just very alike to me in terms of vibes!

changmin + @fluffytbz @sankyeom

having talked to rosie, i can tell you that she’s one of the easiest people i’ve talked to on tumblr so far. she’s also such a sweet person and her vibes are really similar to changmin’s come to think of it? lovable but with a tiny hint of shyness? that’s changmin and rosie! i know we always see changmin smiling since that boy basically exudes happiness but i feel like there’s got to be a special kind of smile, the soft kind that speaks volumes of his feelings that he reserves for those he loves and i feel like that person could be rosie. does that make sense?

talking about belle is like talking about a role model to me >< i still fangirl sometimes but that’s beside the point. belle has such warm vibes that changmin would have loved! i feel like he’s not someone who likes to make his feelings know and he’d rather just be happy in front of the camera all the time but i think with belle, he would definitely be able to let his guard down around her. there’s just something about her that wants to make ppl trust her instantly 😋

haknyeon + @atbzkingdom

dee is an absolute sweetheart which is just what hak needs. she can be level headed and mature when the situation calls for it but she can also have fun and be wild which i think hak would appreciate a lot in a partner! he’s been through a lot so i feel he may need someone who he can feel comfortable around to tell his secrets to and since dee is trustworthy like that, he’d feel at ease around her 😌

hyunjoon + @tbzwurld

ok i’ll be honest. i was kind of intimidated by bee when i first started talking to her. there’s something about her that just makes her whole vibe so powerful and just radiate such dominant energy ( not in that way ) but yes, she just seems so cool to me and the vibes she gives off to me is exactly the vibes hyunjoon gives me as well. once you get to know her though, she’s actually so sweet?? and kind?? and amazing?? idk why but to me, she’s what i think would be hyunjoon’s ideal type ✨

sunwoo + @minfuwa @jopping-to-my-kpop @mjlkau

although i haven’t rly talked much to iris ( but i really want to >< iris can we be friends pls ) iris has this sort of charm that i can’t quite put my finger on. it’s a certain type of charm that i associate with sunwoo? like there’s a certain appeal which they both have in common! from our very little interaction ( hopefully we can change that ), i get that she has a vibrant personality that would make everyone just love to flock to her and befriend her. ngl when i think of sunwoo, i think of her sometimes! maybe this is a signal from the universe idk 👀

yo ok emma is just like super cool ok? idc what tf you have to say, she’s cooler than you and me and everyone else combined. her swag is just out of this world and i think her effortlessly cool persona is something that sunwoo would just be completely enthralled by. she's also a very reliable friend who i am so glad to have gotten to know bc hell, even i’m attracted to her personality so how can sunwoo not be? actually, sunwoo would love her personality! they both exude such badass but soft vibes it’s almost unreal 💙

anie has a very surprising personality imo! my first impression of her was really cute and sweet so imagine my surprise when she reveals that darker side of her >< i really like the duality though ngl and i think sunwoo would too! he’d just be so fascinated by her and just want to get to know her more and as he learns more about her, he’s just going to end up falling deep in love without realising until one day he’s like “fuck, i’m an idiot in love without even noticing it.”

eric + @heartyyjeno @lovely-kpop-writer

alesha is just a BIG ball of floof and i love her omg she's such a supportive and caring friend, it’s unreal. her enthusiasm to me, is on par with eric and if he’s the energy boy, she’s the energy girl for sure. they’d be that couple that just goes around hyping everyone up and everyone would just LOVE them! i know i would and if anyone disagrees, i’ll fite you >:(

jasmine my love!!! this girl here is just so incredibly lovely just like her url suggests and honestly, she’s one of the ppl who are most significant in my tumblr journey because her love for people is just so heartwarming? she’s always friendly and kind which is what eric would love in his future partner. jasmine is just so PRECIOUS istg ❣️

#answered #anon #lovely moots #tbz #the boyz #qiu.txt

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romeulusroy · 4 years

Text

Which of your fics?

I was tagged by @locke-writes Noah!!! My love, thank you!!! Honestly, idk what's so therapeutic about looking back at old writing, but this made me appreciate it so much more!!! This is such a fun, lovely tag game and I'm so grateful to have been a part of it!!! Xoxoxo💜💖💜💖💜💖💜

Did you think would get a bigger reaction/audience than it did?

Well. . . . recently I've been feeling like everything kind of flops, y'know? I'd hate to sound whiny, but I get so excited to post something, and then it doesn't do as nearly as well as I'd thought. Crash and Burn (Lila Pitts Oneshot), Live and Breathe (Michael Gray Oneshot), and Temporary (Bonnie Gold Oneshot) are three that come to mind/are pretty recent 💜

Got a better reaction than you were expecting?

Knee Socks (Five Hargreeves Drabble) for sure!!! I've never had a fic kind of blow up like that, and considering it was a drabble and my blog was a lot smaller, its still mind boggling. Nicknames (Erik Killmonger Drabble), Emotional Whore (Thomas Shelby Oneshot) and Wicked Pt. 1 (Thomas Shelby Oneshot) also did incredibly well, which is always a shock, especially when I feel so insecure and unsure about posting it/think about deleting it 💖

Your funniest?

I don't really consider any of them funny? A more lighthearted one I'm still fond of is House Party (Billy Hargrove Oneshot). Ngl, I love it for a lot of reasons, but especially the quotes/dialogue. I know its not the best in general, but it's one of my biggest weaknesses as a writer and I'm glad I could work on it in this 💕

Your darkest or angstiest?

I think I might have a thing for writing dark things :P the most recent would be Clawfoot (Arthur Shelby Oneshot) where I was in a really dark mentality and it was written over a period of months as a means of therapy. It was both dark and intimate, so I didn't include a tag list. Older/earlier ones might be Hypothermia (Thomas Shelby Oneshot), Unhinged (Geralt of Rivia Oneshot), Childs Play (Klaus Hargreeves Drabble), and Too Late (Nebula Drabble). I have a lot, and more lol, so there's no shortage of angst!!! 💌

Your absolute favorite?

Oh I have so many for so many different reasons!!! I like some small lines, or plots, little details!!! I have no order for these, and these are three off the top of my head, but Cloud Animals (Luther Hargreeves Drabble), Blood Sport (Bonnie Gold Oneshot), and Over Before You Knew It (John Shelby Oneshot) 🌼

Was easiest to write?

I think as time goes on writing longer things has been easier, which is crazy, because I used to never think I'd never make it past 500 words, and now I mainly write oneshots! I can't say for sure the easiest. Some I didn't have to work so long on, like The Empath (Diego Hargreeves Drabble) or Volatile (Diego Hargreeves Drabble). Both are Diego lol, but these come to mind first when I think of something where the story kind of wrote itself 🌈

Was hardest to write?

Ahhh idk why, but anything with Dick Grayson. Animosity (Dick Grayson Drabble) or Hereditary (Dick Grayson Drabble). I felt like I never wrote him well as a character, among so many others, so writing anything for him that I could also be proud of was always a challenge. Some I feel like I know through and through, and others I have the hardest time wtiting/connecting with 💔

Have you re-read the most?

I don't really reread a lot of them. Some of the oldest like Napkin Artist (Steve Rogers Drabble), Vormir (Gamora Drabble), or Clairvoyance (Marvel Drabble). I like to revisit, especially the ones with a lot of comments/feedback, but most I'm either too embarrassed of or post and never look at again 😳

Would you recommend to someone reading your work for the first time?

Hmmm. . . . I'm not entirely sure. I think I'd definitely promote some from all different fandoms and all different times, but especially the first one I ever wrote :) I'm probably being too sentimental, but without that first step, I never would have started any of this! 200+ fics later 💟

Napkin Artist (Steve Rogers Drabble)

Vormir (Gamora Drabble)

I'm On My Own (Tony Stark Drabble)

Clairvoyance (Marvel Drabble)

Crying Over Spilt Milk (Diego Hargreeves Drabble)

Knee Socks (Five Hargreeves Drabble)

House Party (Billy Hargrove Drabble)

Dirt Nap (Arthur Shelby Oneshot)

Unhinged (Geralt of Rivia Oneshot)

Honey, Baby, Sweetheart (Alfie Solomons Drabble)

Wake Up (Alfie Solomons Drabble)

Some are repeats! But I like them enough to mention again!!!

Tagging! @murswrites @multi-fandom-iimagines @theshelbyclan @peak-a-blinder @writerdream22 @writeroutoftime @writingwithacupoftea @smallheathgangsters @swanimagines @multifandomwriter56. @peakyswritings+ anyone else!!! This is so fun to look back on writing, seeing how I've grown and improved, even if it is a lil embarassing/cringey lol 🌷

#writing #tagged #tag game #dl

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seasickbaby · 4 years

Text

Just a Kiss (II)

Pairing: Christopher x reader

Words: 1.7k

Summary: Christopher offers to help improve your *romantic* skills, and he isn’t kidding. When you agree, things escalate and feelings you tried to suppress resurface.

A/N: Hola amores! Thank you so much for your patience with his fic. Ngl I don’t think this is my best writing but I wanted to get it up anyways. This chapter is short but I’m thinking about making this a series. Please come talk to me about this chapter and what you (want) think is gonna happen next! As always, feedback is greatly appreciated and keeps me motivated to write more. Also from now on my notes will go at the bottom! Enjoy!

You can read part one here:

https://seasickbaby.tumblr.com/post/188487428355/just-a-kiss

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“I mean,,, t-tips…” You stutter, “Give me tips.”

Christopher clicks his tongue and leans back on the counter.

“Tips will only get you so far y/n… This is more of a hands on activity.”

You roll your eyes and slap his arm playfully. “Come on, I need a guy’s perspective. I could give you some in return.”

Chris, completely unfazed, just takes another sip of his beer. The lack of attention is bothersome so you cross your arms and pout your lip; inner five year old coming out when he doesn’t give you what you want.

Chris steals a side glance and chuckles. He then turns and, with a soft gaze, places a soft hand underneath your chin.

“No offense princesa, but what tips could you possibly give me?”

Forehead wrinkling, you force a laugh.

Wow, that was rude.

“Full offense Chris, but for how much you get gassed up about your skills, I expected more.”

This takes him by surprise. He was used to being teased by the other members, sure, but never about his ways with women. Everyone knew he was a ladies man. Even himself.

“Woah what do you mean?” Visibly hurt and confused, Chris pulls back his hand and dramatically places it over his chest.

You pretend you do not hear.

“Hmmm, maybe I should just ask Zabdi, I bet he won’t mind.” You shrug before hopping off the stool, “I’ve heard good things about him too.” You wink.

“Wait, wait, wait.”

His hand finds yours before you could walk away.

“Fine. I’ll help you, but first take back what you said.”

His ego got hurt, cute.

“And why would I do that?” You smile innocently.

He gives a small tug on your hand and brings you to stand in front of him, pulling you in between his legs when he hooks his hands behind your lower back. Eyes burning into yours.

Funny how people say that the eyes are the gateway to the soul. Most would say Chris is an open book; his outgoing, energetic personality makes it seem like such, but his eyes always spoke the words he never said out loud. Full of emotions yet never revealing too much, only showing what he wanted you to see.

You let yourself get lost in them every once in a while, never for too long. But right now, being so close in proximity, staring straight into his doe eyes, made you a little light headed.

Not even kidding, you could’ve kissed him again right there and then... if Erick hadn’t interrupted. The young one came over, ever so happily, and throws his arms over both your shoulders; the movement forcing Chris’ hands to let go of you.

“Ayyyy, compadres.”

“Erick your breath smells like beer.” Chris laughs as he sees you wrinkle your nose in the opposite direction of his face.

“Honestly, who even gave you alcohol you’re a baby!”

“I am not! Tengo 18 años para su información. I’m a full grown, legal, adult!” Erick sloppily waves his hands in the air.

“Uh huh, we can see that.”

A couple minutes pass of the three of you standing there together, laughing and talking, until Erick stops mid conversation and gasps.

Listen to the song!” He instructs.

You and Chris both give each other a puzzled look as you try to listen over the crowd of drunk people.

“Que sordos… It’s El Guachineo!” He grabs your hand and starts to pull you out onto the dance floor, “Come on, let's dance!”

You swallow the last of your drink and the tequila pumps through your veins, making you feel bolder and confident. Perhaps it was the way Chris was looking at you or the one too many shots you took, you weren’t really sure, but you get the sudden urge to give in to Christopher’s temptations. Nervously biting your lip, you lean closer to him, and you’re sure going to regret this once you’re sober.

“Prove me wrong, and I’ll retract my statement.”

He could've not known what you meant, but the way his eyes widened made you think otherwise. You send him a flirtatious, yet sweet, smile before letting Erick drag you away.

There was never a dull moment when dancing with Erick. The way he flung his arms around everywhere and his facial expressions always had you laughing. Erick was a good dancer, no doubt about it, but he’s also a goofy guy, and that goofiness is multiplied by ten when he drinks.

Eventually the rest of the boys join you on the dance floor; everyone except Christopher. The longer you danced the longer you overthought the comment you previously made; anxiety begins builds up in your stomach. You try to push the thoughts away and instead focus on the boys in front of you, who were arguing over who was better at dancing bachata.

After what felt like an hour, you leave the group to look for Chris. You begin with where you last left him. Upon not finding him, you turn to the person most likely to have seen him last.

“Excuse me,” You smile at the barista, “have you, by any chance, seen a man with sloppy brown hair, tattoo sleeved arms, and looks like,,, a deer… kinda?”

“The Velez guy that was sitting with you over there?”

“Yes! That one.”

“He left not long after you and el otro muchacho went out to dance.” She gave you an apologetic smile.

The way your heart drops a little is unsettling, so you ignore the feeling and, instead, order one last shot of tequila before heading back to the hotel. You shoot the boys a quick text in the groupchat and head out of the club.

To: Thicc boyz + y/n

I’m going back to the hotel, have fun :)

From: Thicc boyz + y/n

Zabdi: Who’s taking you?

You’ve been drinking all night

To: Thicc boyz + y/n

I called an uber I'm fine

From: Thicc boyz + y/n

Richard: I’m coming with you

To: Thicc boyz + y/n

I’m F I N E, enjoy your night

From: Thicc boyz + y/n

Richard: You’re drunk in a big city we don’t know,

I'm not letting you go alone

To: Thicc boyz + y/n *not drunk & too late :P

Later, xoxo

You throw your head back on the Uber’s seat with a sigh and close your eyes, feeling a bit dizzy.

“Long night?” The Uber guy asks.

You sigh with a small laugh “In a way.” Even though it was only two in the morning; at this time people are still drinking non stop.

“Well, I hope whatever is troubling you now resolves itself soon. Remember, everything happens for a reason.”

It was a small but sweet gesture. Maybe your troubles were a bit dumb but he made your feelings validated. Let’s just say, you got back to the hotel safe and sound and with a new friend: Ricky the driver.

The elevator ride to the fourteenth floor was slow and you couldn’t wait to finally relax. You open the door of your room and smile in relief when you kick your heels off. You took a shower, put on your favorite silk pjs, threw a robe over it and flopped on the bed to watch The Lion King (for the hundredth time) with a bowl of grapes. You were in the middle of singing Hakuna Matata when your phone rings.

A notification from Chris pops up.

Christopher:

Did you make it back to the hotel safely? [2:50 am]

Y/N:

I did, thanks for asking [2:51 am]

Where did you go tonight? [2:53 am]

Christopher:

I, uh, had to take care of a little problem [2:54 am]

Y/N

Oh? [1:54 am]

Christopher:

That you caused… [2:54 am]

Y/N:

I’m even more confused [2:55 am]

Christopher:

Did you mean what you said before? [2:57 am]

Y/N:

What do you mean [2:57 am]

Christopher:

About,,, you know [2:58 am]

Christopher:

Proving you wrong [2:58 am]

Y/N:

Oh, I didn’t not mean it [2:59 am]

Your heart thuds loudly as you anticipate his response

Christopher:

Y/N you’re Richard’s little sister… [3:00 am]

Y/N:

Damn. Bitches just want to be good kissers and end up getting exposed to their brother… I’m bitches :( [3:00 am]

Y/N:

Just say you don’t like me and GO [3:01 am]

Christopher:

I guess I could teach you a thing or two [3:02 am]

That has you sitting up abruptly. Eyes scanning the text over and over. You feel your heart in your throat and, why is it extremely hot all of a sudden? You push yourself off your bed and pace around the room, unsure of what to do or say next.

Your phone dings with another text and you scramble to read it.

Christopher:

Come to my room. [3:05 am]

A101 [3:05 am]

You debate it at first. Coming up with multiple “what if’s” and a long list of things that could go wrong. But at the end of the day you knew this was a one time thing, no strings attached, and a way to practice. So why not?

You’re knocking on room A101’s door sooner than you expected. You look down at your shorts and curse yourself for not wearing something less revealing. A couple seconds pass, enough for you to change your mind, so you turn to walk away.

“A donde vas?”

A voice too familiar says behind you. You slowly face him, heart beating out of your chest and hands a tad clammy.

“Strictly for instructional purposes only?” You raise one eyebrow.

“Nothing more.” He extends his hand and you stare at it for a second before grabbing it. His lips part into a smile and yours return it. Chris pulls you into the room, letting out a small laugh as you trip over your feet. He reaches a hand up to brush through your hair, stopping at your jaw and tracing his thumb all the way to your lips.Your laugh dies down as you see Christopher’s eyes flick to your lips, tongue coming across them in a slow, sultry, motion.

Deep down, you knew you were crossing a line which you couldn’t come back from. And you were worried. Lowkey truly worried. Because there was so much on that line: your friendship with Christopher (one of your best friends), Christopher’s relationship with your Richard (his band mate and best friend) and your relationship with your brother. But all those worries vanish when Chris leans in to press a soft kiss to your forehead, your nose, and then the corner of your lips.

“Step number one.”

#this took ages to finish #i know its not the best #if you read it pls let me know what you think #part 3 will be up after the semester is over #cnco fic #christopher velez #Christopher velez fic #fan fiction #Chris fic #cnco #cnco blog

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throwing-summers-at-the-walls · 4 years

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Hello again ☺️Yes, that would have been really cool! I already read two of your recomnendations and i love them so thank you again for sharing! I can understand you being unsure of your writing but i bet there are people who will love it. Judging from how you answer your asks and how much you love John i have no doubt that i would love it. But if you dont wanna post it anywhere i would completely understand too. (1)

Im glad i came around to like Root cause otherwise it would have been hard to watch season 4 & 5 cause she appears a lot. I think part of it is cause i watched it witch my family and my dad loves her so i started to like her more too (you know who you love sth cause someone else loves it?) and then eventually i liked her to. Shaw i loved from day one and i loved her sibling energy with John. The John and Shaw dynamic was one of my favorites. I love their teasing and their chaotic energy (2)

As for Shoot i think its kinda cool that the writers just went with it cause of the chemistry and i like Shoot a lot. John and Harold would be amazing too (i mean whats better than one queer couple? Two queer couples!) And there are some parallels between the ships so there was room for both of them. Eventhough Harold and Grace is cute too. And i feel John has chemistry with almost everyone (not always romantic chemistry but also platonic chemistry if thats a Thing 😂) and (3)

in Addition to rinch i also really liked John with Zoe. The only one he had zero chemistry with was the theraphist imo. That ship was just weird. I wish they would have used that time for more Rinch scenes instead. -- yes someone who agrees about the happy end! I dont understand people who wish for a sad end. Like John is my fave character ever and i just want him to be happy with his newfound odd family and maybe someday adopt a cute baby with Harold or become an uncle or idk just be happy (4)

But in my Imagination he didnt die and someday he and Harold retired and started their quieter Happy life with Bear. --- yeah poi Reddit loves the later seasons and hates the first and i noticed they can get a bit mean with people who dont agree (thats why i only read and never write anything). Also said you could skip most of S1 which is just sad cause its a great season 😔 i will accept that i lost validity (is this even a Word?) for liking Root 😂 also yea 4x20 is the ep with the carter hallucinations so check it out. But a warning: Root appears :D sorry this ask got so long, but i just love talking to you and i always look forward to your replies :)

Hi !! Happy to see you're back :)

Glad you liked my recs ! I think there's quite an amount of fics with suicidal John out there actually. Not that surprising since it's canon.

I appreciate your support ! In the long run idk if it's healthy for me. Like a few months ago I fell back into ace attorney and I read a lot of fics about Miles being suicidal and it affected me negatively. Sometimes I purposefully seek out suicide fics. And it may not be the most healthy thing to do. So I'm not sure about that fic. Bc I do wanna write it, but idk if it'd be healthy, as catharsis, or unhealthy, as rumination. I mean I've been writing that body horror fic with some projection of my body issues and it's fine. But yeah I'm pretty sure that if I ever finish it I think I'll post it – after all I posted a fic in which John jumped off a bridge a long while ago before I got suicidal (foreshadowing my own life here lmao). I also wanna try to work on my other wips

Yeah I see, that's understandable. Ngl Root makes me not motivated to get to these seasons during my rewatch (which technically wouldn't be a rewatch). It's wild how I feel nothing for Shaw (she do be kinda hot tho,,,, muscles,,,,,) but I think it's mostly bc I wasn't that interested in her back then and it's been so long since I watched the show I don't remember shit about her. She'd be able to grow on me I think. Yeah I've seen a lot of posts about that "mayhem twins" dynamic around here it does sound cool. Also it's refreshing to have a male/female relationship that isn't turned into a forced romance. But I'll always have a soft spot for S1 and its four core characters.

It's nice if they have chemistry, I didn't feel like they did. Yeah I'm still disappointed that they didn't go for Rinch too. I mean come on their chemistry is so painfully obvious ! I dislike the word queer but mood pls just give me canon Rinch I'm fucking begging hhhhhhh. I'm quite sure the notion of chemistry works with non romantic relationships as well. John is definitely good with people. He looks scary and brooding but he's just a good man who wants to help people ! I love him so much and same he's my fav character of all time !! Also I love seeing him interact with kids he's so good with them. But I also love when he's being an absolute badass. Damn I always forget about Grace gkjdfkjfd I don't have anything against her though, Harold and her are cute together. (Not much into the grace/harold/john OT3 tho, I've seen it around after return 0 but :/ not my thing. But hey good for people who like it.)

I liked John and Zoe too. Even if he had chemistry with Iris it's so cringe, didn't think poi would fall as low as portraying such a relationship between a therapist and a patient. Guess that shows the decrease in quality in the later seasons. Sad they did that shit when as you said they could have showed more Rinch. Like come ooon Rinch is just. Right fucking here. Just make it canon you cowards.

Yeah fuck sad endings (John didn't die obviously) I want my men to be happy and in love and live a good life together with their dog is that too much to ask. Like sometimes I read fics with MCD bc why not but most of the time I just want happiness. Fluffy domestic Rinch is so good ! Gives me so much life. I have a soft spot for married Rinch as well. Also while we're at it let me rec this domestic fluff fic:

Yeah not surprised. And you're right don't waste your time arguing on reddit lol it's not worth it. It baffles me when people say S1 is boring like ??? Where ?? There's literally soooo many eps I love in this season !! 📣📣📣number crunch is the best ep📣📣📣 Glad they stay over on reddit with their last seasons and their shit opinions about S1 smh. Like imagine being a fan of a show and disregarding the season that created the basis of the show and developed characters and relationships. Big brain time uh

I'm quite sure validity is an actual word, and that's how it be if you like root :/ I don't make the rules :/ you're the half valid anon now 😂

Oh well I shall endure root if it's a good ep ^^

It's cool !! I love your long asks !! I hope I didn't get lost in my own reply lmao

#anon #person of interest #half valid anon

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drizzitwrites · 5 years

Text

Football RPF Challenge - Day 6: A Night Out With Friends

NGL friends, I almost didn’t do this one.

For starters, I spent all day in a place where I couldn’t really focus on anything for a variety of reasons, so the idea of sitting down and writing anything seemed almost impossible. Second, I didn’t really have a solid idea for a scene to work on for this prompt in my head, which meant that I didn’t have a plan, and I absolutely cannot write without some kind of plan. I realise the point of what I’m trying to do here with these exercises is to just write and not care about it, and I used to be able to do that, but I think I’ve evolved as a writer to a place where that’s just not who I am anymore (for better or worse, I suppose). So then it got to a point of me thinking about how to start and realising that if I didn’t know where the scene was supposed to end or who was involved or why they were all out, I’d just spend a lot of time writing a really boring conversation that wouldn’t get anyone anywhere.

The thing of today’s prompt, also, is that it encapsulates some of the things I’m the WORST at: ensemble conversation, ambiance, scene and sensory cues, probably food. So you get this combination of distracted, no plan, and things I’m bad at and I honestly took the bit of writing time I did have and said you know what, no. I don’t feel like doing today’s challenge and I don’t have an idea for it anyway so I just won’t do it, because this is a hobby and it’s supposed to be fun and no one is making me do this but me.

BUT! I also recognised that BECAUSE this is hard and BECAUSE I don’t want to and BECAUSE I don’t know how to do it, that is precisely why I *needed* to do it. Because I’m not a quitter. Or, maybe, because once I let myself quit one time, it becomes infinitely harder to NOT let myself quit the next time, or the time after that, or the time after that.

For my whole life, I’ve gotten to where I am by saying “if something seems hard, that’s precisely the time you need to do it the most”

This may seem harsh and it’s certainly not advice I’d recommend for everyone, but it’s the way I’ve always done things. Because at least, even if it didn’t go well or it WAS hard or whatever...I TRIED, and I’d always have that. It’s hard to explain, I guess.

Anyway, what got me over the hump of having decided I was just going to not do it was saying to Jonas “I feel like all of a sudden I’m a person who gives myself permission to say ‘that’s too hard’, and I don’t know if that’s the person I want to be, because I’ve never been that person before so do I want to start now?”

And I realised, I didn’t. Because my stubborn willingness to WORK HARDER WHEN THE WORK GETS HARDER is the one thing I’ve always been proud of.

Like...this is a CHALLENGE. It’s supposed to be CHALLENGING. And if on day 6 I say “eh, I don’t feel like it” then what’s going to force me to rise to the occasion on day 7 or 10 or 18 or 29? NOTHING.

(and really, the scene I ended up writing is from a fic inspired by a song that expresses the exact sentiment I needed...”If we don’t do this today/ there goes a day/ another moment that could have been ours/ figure it out/ that’s what I do...”)

So I made myself do it. And, friends, it turned out pretty well.

The continuation of the restaurant scene from days 2 and 3 (presuming I have fixed the ending from day 3 and Christian is actually AT the restaurant when Vincent arrives). It’s not the full scene, but I took an hour and a quarter and put together 1100 words. And most importantly...I DID NOT GIVE UP.

"Christian," Vincent said, sliding into the empty chair to Christian's right--the only empty seat at the table, of course, because what other kind of luck would Vincent had.

He wanted to say that if he'd known Christian would be here he would have begged off in favour of spending a night in his hotel catching up from the whirlwind of the day and trying to figure out where he was supposed to be tomorrow and when and exactly how everything was supposed to work, but he honestly couldn't convince himself that was true.

Sure, it was what he <em>should</em> have done, but if he'd spent his life doing what he should do he never would have let himself develop this big of a celebrity crush on an Ajax player in the first place.

Blue green eyes flicked upward to meet his for the briefest of moments before Christian turned back towards his friends. The three of them had all crowded around the far side of their small table. It was clearly meant for four, but the others had all wedged themselves in, Jan in the centre directly across from Christian, with Mousa to his right and Toby to his left.

Jan returned Christian's look with a wide grin.

"Oh, Chris, Did I forget to mention that we invited Vincent to join us? We thought since he'd just arrived in town this morning we'd take him out and save him from an evening of sitting around a hotel room." With that, he turned to Vincent. "Welcome, Vincent. I'm glad you could make it."

He spoke in Dutch, Pochettino's rules about everyone speaking English evidently not extending off the training ground. Either that, or he was doing it for Vincent's benefit, which Vincent honestly appreciated. He knew English, of course, but he had a feeling that getting through an entire dinner while pressed up between a pillar to his right and Christian Eriksen to his left was going to be difficult enough without trying to figure out how to express himself in a second language.

"Yes," Vincent said, settling down into his seat a bit. "As I said, it was a bit confusing, and there was quite a lot of traffic, but, I made it."

Beside him, Christian made a sort of low snorting noise. "It's a Tuesday in mid-July. If you think that was quite a bit of traffic just wait until Friday night when everyone's back from their holidays."

Toby shook his head and gave Christian an eyeroll. "We all know, Christiaan. If you had your way you'd never leave your house again. I swear, if he could, this one would still cycle to training like we did back in Amsterdam."

"He'd have to move if he wanted to do that," Mousa said, and the others laughed.

"Flikker op," Christian said, flashing them a rude gesture. "The lot of you."

Vincent looked around the table at his new teammates, all of them leaned back and relaxed and so casual around one another, save Christian who was perched at the edge of his seat, leaning to his left and slightly away from Vincent. He seemed a bit on edge, but considering Vincent had spoken to him for five minutes who was he to say. That might just be Christian's mannerism.

Or, he thought. Five minutes of awkward conversation where you held his hand and gazed into his eyes was enough to put him off the entire idea of getting any closer to you than he should. Not that Vincent could blame Christian for that. It hadn't exactly been an auspicious first meeting.

Nothing for it, though, he supposed. What was done was done, and all he could do now was get his mind and body under control and show up for work like the professional he was. This wasn't some starry-eyed kid from Jong Feyenoord out to dinner with the rockstars of the Eredivisie, this was Tottenham Hotspur's newest summer signing out on the town with his teammates.

"Where...do you all live?" Vincent asked. "It's not that I mean to pry it's just...well, I'll have to find a flat or something sooner or later, right. I can't live in a hotel forever. So..."

"Ahh," Jan said. "Recommendations. Yes. It depends on what you're looking for, of course. And the team will help. We have people on staff for that--ask them for anything. They'll get you a car and look for houses for you or furniture or whatever you need, really."

"Yes, of course," Vincent said. AZ had a player services manager who'd handled most of these things, so he'd assumed Spurs would have the same. "But I wonder...are there better areas to live than others."

"Of course," Toby said with a shrug. "London is enormous, so, of course some parts are better. As Jan said, it's all about what you want."

"Hmm," Vincent said.

In truth, he wasn't exactly sure what he wanted. He didn't much relish the idea of spending every day in as much traffic as he'd faced on his way here, so wherever this neighbourhood was, he thought he'd probably rule it out. At AZ he'd lived nearly 30km from Alkmaar, but the trip had been easy. Here, it didn't much seem that way.

"If you want to avoid traffic," came a soft voice from beside him. Christian, his eyes turned downward towards the table as he picked at the hem of his plain white t-shirt. "You'll want to live in the Northeast. Enfield or Barnet. I wouldn't go much below the north circular."

"Oh." Vincent had no idea what any of that meant, but he imagined it would make sense to whomever he was speaking to at the club about finding a place to live. "Is that..."

He stopped himself short, unsure of his intentions for asking the question that came to mind. It was innocent enough, really--a teammate wanting to learn more about the rest of his teammates and his new city. No one could fault him for it.

Christian stared over at him, blue-green of his eyes now bright under the sharp lighting of the restaurant, and Vincent's whole body shuddered and trembled.

He took a breath, held it, and forced himself to continue. Christian was his teammate. Starting tomorrow they'd have to share a training pitch, so Vincent had better at least figure out how to navigate a simple question over dinner.

"Is that where you live?" he asked. "Northeast? Where did you say? Barrett?"

"Barnet," Christian said, voice matter-of-fact as he turned away from Vincent and moved to staring intently at the small slip of paper that displayed the menu. "No."

#football rpf #football rpf challenge #writing challenge #30-day writing challenge #november writing #christian eriksen x vincent janssen #writing #drizzit writes #thoughts on writing and life

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astrxlis-archive · 2 years

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hello Fox~ it was nice knowing that you're doing well!! And i hope you would be able to nap around this day too :D

And yesterday I wasn't able to sleep since I was still up till 5 am+ and then every friday we have classes early at 7 am so I just chose to get through the day— making my mind very hazy like a jellyfish 😅 but i'm alright now dw. I have gotten to sleep nicely and recover already.

Xiao might find your no-respect-to-the-adepti personality quite confusing to him at first, because it was like a rule throughout the years to respect the adepti and gods alike. I am unsure if he knows Keqing or if he has a voiceline about her, but his thoughts might drift towards the Yuheng of the Qixing's beliefs while also trying to understand your own beliefs. He might come into a conclusion that not all mortals do have respect for it, especially people who gets to become close to him. But that's a new one for him, as long as you don't do any trouble it might be just fine~

Plus, remember what i have said on our last convo? One thing i have learned this year is to not be shy in showing or telling your appreciation !! c: so why should i not let you know that i like your writing? :3

I do wish tumblr have a "read more" feature too in asks to save space in the feed and easily scroll through your blog 😌

Honestly i think the mom friend energy is def a good thing- not unless you don't care for yourself the same 😤 and *cough* aha,,, about my assignments— i have managed to pass one yesterday?? Which i'm already very happy about because it's one of the easiest so far tho it took me hours because i really think my mental state can't be pushed more at this point 😅 and i don't really feel bothered 😌 i swear im trying my best 😩 i have also visited my psychiatrist today for our second meeting and i'm finally diagnosed with the actual problem 🤩 this is one step towards improving my mental health + getting my life together again 😤 I have to thank you too for being one of my emotional support people 💗

Also, 😳 i'm glad to achieve being kind with my attempts~ didn't knew you could say that i have a way with words too (*//艸//)♡

I have no favorite quiz in particular but i remember this one titled like, "i psychoanalyze and bully you based on your genshin kin" with raiden as the background. I do also take those in the featured page and ngl i check on the page daily like it's a religion just to look if there's a new quiz that interests me. For the confusing part, yes don't worry i'm always trying~!! If i didn't try, i wouldn't be able to provide my perspective to other people as well as not find people who would be willing to understand :3 and 😳 you think i do? Well *cough cough* thank you for such kind words,, it just happens that we have formed a sort of... Connection? That helps us communicate comfortably~ hmm back then i would usually draw people or maybe fanarts? Yeah i'm interested in those, tho i don't actually draw anymore ;;

It's also alright to feel emotionally vulnerable at some days :> but, no i think you also lowkey brought tears to my eyes when i read your reply?? Because i'm so glad that you felt my words <33 and i am quite overjoyed that you have heard such words that you didn't knew you needed. I'm glad to be of comfort to you. I remember reading some comfort fic with kaeya in it and there's a line saying "I'm proud of you," and i literally cried because of that + i'm def having a bad day too😂 well, to me, the people who care the most are the ones who also need care the most. Very glad to be spot on too about jean and ganyu 🤭 your confirmation is truly unexpected. Worry not about keqing, her leadership is excluded in my description tho her shyness is just quite similar xD and true, noelle (as well as the other charas) are really determined/passionate/motivated, like we could share almost every trait with them except for their hard-working and determined part. I would just honestly quit trying to be a knight and would rather find the cause about why they keep rejecting me if i were noelle. Poor noelle, i hope someday kaeya would tell her about the actual reason she is always being rejected to be a knight. They're basically clowning her smh,, :(( i feel so bad. And i think noelle would reflect on her actions if she knew the truth that she works too hard- and might change for the better that could help her get into the knights.

It's my pleasure to explain thoroughly about what i think because being able to be given an opportunity about it is not something to be missed! it's pretty nice that you could understand me better with it too :3 and yes i could see your point that you wouldn't really think of me as distrusting or emotionally constipated. Think of me as this to you: xiao or diluc warming up to people they are comfortable with and is more open with them. I hope you have realized already that i feel very comfortable around you 😔💖 emotions might be a hindrance to logical decisions but hey, emotional intelligence isn't there for nothing 😉 deciding by thinking alone is quite difficult too, especially when your heart or emotions are needed for the decision rather than what your mind thinks. So i do think you being emotional is actually fine!! 💞💞💞 I find emotionally aligned people quite awesome because i'm usually stunned when the solution for a problem is related to the emotional matters.

It's not bad to laugh about me writing an essay about our similarities even when i stated that im unsure if i kin him!! 😚 I find it pretty funny too- like who knew i would write a long ass essay about it,, and yes~ i'm the eldest and i only have one sibling 👍 having a sibling didn't taught me to understand kids but it made me feel like i'd fight them with no hesitation 😌

Thank you for your friendly reminder too 🥺💗 i'll be sure to keep that in mind <33 thank you for being here with me 🤭

And YES. I also don't know that there's actually mbti assignment stuff for the genshin characters. The site where you could find it is in the personality database website. There are also debates in the comment section of characters such as Lisa's because they are pretty unsure about what her mbti actually is. Also, i don't mind sharing too 😚 it's totally okay! My mbti is INTP, and you're never wrong with that introvert part. Life is hard when groupmates aren't working 😩

Also, medicine as your course?? 😳 That's so cool! As far as i know, studying medicine is kinda hard but really, you're awesome for that 😚 Sharing the same philosophy with hu tao totally makes sense now 🥺 i haven't heard of the term "palliative" care before so i searched it up— it was such a nice coincidence that we have talked about hu tao on our past convo 😳 i actually think that if there's something related to whatever your lesson is (such as our convo) it makes us more motivated to focus on the subject xD besides, i think you're doing nicely about talking more about yourself too ( ˘ω˘ )

Forgot to say this, but to me you ask very nice questions??🥺 Or maybe this is just my subconscious who really wanted to be asked by somebody 🤔 still, genuinely i do love your questions— they're pretty interesting to me 🤭

You have totally said it exactly about the case for the assignments— it's like a cycle for me now 😔 AND YES. WE CAN DO THIS !! 😤😤😤 The copium is indeed strong. Regarding what course i would take, well right now i chose the business strand for my senior years so i might take business at college too, just maybe not the bachelor of accounting stuff,, it might be like business management(?) Tho i'm really undecided 😔 i just want to earn money without doing anything— 😂 i'm also gonna do my best in taking care of myself 😤💞 i will not let you down!! <3

I don't really live in the southern hemisphere but it's more near the equator or quite higher than the southern hemisphere since it's near the equator?? And my country is known for being v hot every summer 😩 it's also fine to not know associations of the genshin charas- so no worries about it ! It's not like we have to know everything 😤

I'm very curious abt the taste of broccoli cooked with rice too 🤔 but that doesn't mean i'll be eating it- i have also searched up the chicken stroganoff and?? IT LOOKS SO GOOD + as a picky eater i would really love it. The flat noodles and button mushrooms ? 😳 It's a dish from heaven to me 😩 moreover, you like sweets :0 i do think it makes sense now since you're also very sweet 😚 *insert "you are what you eat" quote* Getting a treat for yourself every time you shop is actually nice 🥰

It warms my heart that you still try your best even if stuff is difficult for you 🥰💖 i do agree with the failing stuff too— because what can we even do about it if we have already tried your best 😌 Just think of hu tao cheering on you whenever you feel down or unmotivated 💞💞💞

I really don't find anons on the internet 😂 it just so happens that they gave me a clue + their user is too obvious soooo 😏 that's how i found out.

What's more is that i have researched about foxes too xD i've only read the article @ Mental Floss but i have learned a lot already~ Island foxes are so cute 😳 they look like a perfect inspiration if you're ever gonna sculpt something. I have also discovered the existence of pink champagne fox, & there's also a pink fox named Miko... So i thought that what if Miko is the inspiration for Yae's character design ?? Dw too, you didn't disappoint because sometimes we just like things for no reason 😅 😚

Also your new Thoma drabble— if you're a chef i'd say you serve one of the best dishes out there 🥰😤✨ it was really comforting and sweet of you 💗💗💗

Regarding the Nier series, i'm afraid i couldnt play it qwq since i don't have the devices needed to play it;;— i was familiar with automata a bit before during its popularity but it was just a shallow liking about it since i get influenced by the internet 😤 so now after searching about it i do think i could understand it now. And A2 is such a great character?! I remember not liking her bc i saw a vid where she looks like the villain but she's actually a lot more compassionate in personality 💞 kinda touched my heart tbh

I'm also considering if i should make a genshinblr account at this point 🤔 tho i am not confident in my writing 😩 but the main problem right now is what username should i choose, what name should i be called and what theme/concept should i make my blog have 😤

Also it got me curious- do you have any character in mind that you think i kin? xD since i have assumed jean and ganyu for yours, it made me wonder what do you think is mine~

Fun fact, i sometimes get zhongli in personality quizzes too—

i hope i could ask you more but 🤔 what should i even ask 😩

Thank you once again for making me smile!! <333

I hope my ask would bring a sort of comfort for you😚💗 don't forget to eat properly and drink water~

— 🍰.

hellooo 🍰!!!

i'm sorry this took so long, i had to write my reply between breaks from studying 🥲

i think i should start my reply by informing you every time i open my tags it's yours that show up first 😂 i wasn't able to take a nap but that's fine! i'm just going to try and sleep more this week. lack of sleep def explains the hazy feeling 💀 i'm glad you got to sleep and recover already. please try to avoid not sleeping if you can? 🥺 do you have a full day of classes on fridays?

he knows keqing!! i think he first met her during the osial crisis and then she formally introduced herself on this year's lantern rite, very respectfully 😂 personally i would just treat him very casually, so maybe he'd be confused by that because most people are like "omg an adeptus 🤩🤩", something he canonically can't stand (see ganyu's story quest).

i clearly have much to learn from you in that aspect 🙈 was overcoming your shyness a new year's resolution or just something that happened?

about taking care of myself, i can be a hypocrite sometimes 😅 but i'm trying my best, that i can promise. and dude, that's great!!!! i'm glad you're on your way to get better and getting your life together. i kinda wanna ask what your diagnosis was but i don't want to intrude? and take it easy, please – a friend irl reminded me yesterday that nothing on the academic sphere is worth more than my mental health, so i think it's valid to pass the reminder along. one assignment is already something great! it's always better than none 💕💕

and are you kidding me?? ofc you have a way with words, like???? from the interactions i've seen of you on other blogs it's clear people are always happy whenever you're around!!! and so am i in case it's not clear by now– i think we do have a nice connection! i kinda consider you a friend already?? 🤠

oooooh i remember that quiz, but i don't remember who i got 💀 i had a phase like that too, daily entering on uquiz to take the nice ones lmao i took a (18+ apparently???? i dont remember that warning being there but it is now) yandere bnha one once last year and the results explained how they'd lure you in and i've never been more terrified in my entire life because the description would work with me, no joke 🤭 you don't draw anymore?? why? 🥺 what fandoms you used to draw for?

your observation about noelle being clowned by the KoF – i... never thought about it that way?? hoyoverse explain this right this instant!! 😤 i wonder if kaeya would tell her straight up why she's being rejected though...

that was such a sweet mental imagine please 😫🙈 i noticed, and i'm very grateful!! i hope you know i'm becoming more comfortable with you too. and to be fair, i understand your point of view about logic and emotions. the degree of emotional intelligence required to being able to pick one or another when making decisions eludes me though 😂😂 whenever a logical decision in necessary i get stumped, much like you with emotional decisions.

KFNDKSJSKNS THE LINE ABOUT FIGHTING KIDS– my goodness is it bad that i relate to this but kinda want to specialize in pediatrics? ofc i wouldn't go around fighting children but like– 🤭😂 i'm going to check the website out! thank you for telling me uwu also, we have a similar type!! and i think it fits our conversation nicely - i'm more Feeling, and you're more Thinking 👀

thank you!! sometimes i think about sharing cool stuff i leaned in class but then i'm like... should i? eh. also sorry about not explaining what palliative meant! it's such a common word for me i forget it's not usual for other people. and really, you don't have to thank me for asking you questions, please 🥺🥺 i like talking to you and it's nice to know what type of person you are!!

should– should i break it to you about accounting and business management? or do you wanna find out on your own? 🤠 but i share your dream of earning money doing nothing, it's like my dream job 😂😂

me, looking at you localization reply: that absolutely doesn't narrow it down bc so is my country but in a way to respect your privacy (esp. because you're a minor) i will ask no further. at least we can complain about the same type of weather at the same time 😂😂😂😂 also,,, i would not have the courage you had to figure out 🍁's user even with a clue, even if i have the feeling i've interacted with them (or them with me) off anon? an-ee-ways.

listen. listen– if you can try to cook it i 100% advise because it's that good. my sister can make some amazing stroganoff, either with beef or chicken. she adds mustard and shoyu sauce and it's just *chef's kiss*. and i'm really happy you like the new thoma drabble, you seriously flatter me 🙈

oh my gosh 😂😂 i'm flattered you did some research and you actually gave me info i didn't know?? i googled the miko fox and had to laugh at a reddit comment about it. it's super cute!! and yep, it made me wonder too🤭 the coincidence seems too big for it to be just a coincidence... also, this is just me wanting to share cute things, but theres this instagram page i follow... 👀

A2 reminds me a lot of kainé from the original nier (with less cussing), so maybe that's why i'm more biased towards her, but she really is a sweetheart, even if she tries to prove she isn't. i think it's a game you'd enjoy, to be honest, and it's totally alright if you don't have the devices to play it!! maybe someday, who knows?

also yes?!?? you should!!! even if you're not confident or if you don't start writing right away, it's a nice way to start getting (even more?) in touch with the community!! sadly i can't help you with names or themes because i lack the inspiration 🥲 my blog is literally named after a character from another franchise LMAO but these are things you can figure out with time ☺️☺️

honestly i associate you a lot with yoimiya? she's bright and willing to help and to make other people smile, and she's also not afraid to be who she is and love what she loves. she's also kind and understanding and gentle, even if that's not a word you'd first associate with her due to her sunny personality. i'm uh. not very good at understanding characters very well - something i want to work on - so i'm afraid i can't really talk about anyone else right now? but i'll let you know if i associate you with someone else, ehe 🤩

how was your weekend, by the way? also, have you seen turning red? i recently watched it because i was exhausted from studying and man. mannnn, what a good movie (imo).

take care of yourself well too!!! see you soon 💕

#—new mail !#—the burrow's 🍰#the whole no respect for the adepti is because i dissed him until he came home on his rerun #it worked since he came home on my guaranteed and on the following 50/50 #edit: i took it again and got jean so i'm starting to think you're right #you're a comfort to me too!!#me being the youngest sibling out of 5 - i think my sisters relate to you on a spiritual level #aka unemployed but rich #yae miko champagne fox conspiracy theory #was the quote cheesy? yes #and i loved it lmao well used if you ask me 😌#OKAY SO MY INTERNET FAILED ME WHEN I CLICKED PUBLISH AND FOR A SECOND THERE I THOUGHT I LOST THIS ASK TO THE VOID

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