hey btw. being platonically in love is so real btw. having a silly text convo with your friend and thinking "I love you" with every message. studying together in silence and feeling the most comfortable you've been in years. having a huge cheesy grin on your face after you spend time together, or even just text for a bit. your worries becoming a little easier to bear when they hug you. worrying about them, wishing you could magically give them all the happiness in the world.
being platonically in love is one of my favourite feelings in the world, and you know what? I'm so grateful that being aspec let me experience this in full. I fucking love being on the aromantic spectrum <3
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i think a lot about how coming out has changed the way dan talks about phil. the basic label he applies to them hasn't changed — he (generally) maintains they're best friends first and foremost. the thing that has changed is how dan focuses on describing the nature of their relationship now, rather than just pushing its status. like yeah, phil is his best friend — but that's not even the point anymore. the point is what phil means to him. he's his soulmate, life companion, fellow immortal being / 4,000-year-old tortoise chewing grass and watching the sunset with him, etc etc. the metaphors can be hilarious, but the point is that dan places more importance on the metaphors now and what they're fundamentally saying rather than anything else. so if you wanted to know at a glance, an equivalent of their facebook relationship status would read "best friends" — but give dan a minute more of your time and he'll want to tell you what that really means.
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I'm sure you've seen that post about Gabriel finding out how V1 sees him, this post in case you haven't, it's pretty funny.
I was thinking though, what about the opposite of that? What if when V1 and Gabriel were in a safe space together V1 chooses to crank up it's graphics and look around. Partially since it gets a chance to actually look at how things are without having to worry about someone getting the drop on it in such an inefficient state but also so it can look at Gabriel in his entirety. A kind of love language exclusive to machines.
It's most likely that V1 probably wouldn't be able to articulate what it's doing to Gabe or that it's a form of trust/compassion, but what would Gabe think of it anyway?
GOOD POST....and yes i absolutely love this little thought...v1, as a war machine, likely doesn't even consider its capacity to have improved "eyesight" and would never otherwise utilize its higher resolutions. it's set at what it considers to be optimal, not only as it conserves its power properly but also because simplifying its field of vision is actually highly beneficial to the chaotic combat of hell. but being with gabriel makes it consider a whole world of things it never could before, its mind growing rapidly in unexpected trajectories and producing thoughts and feelings of a complexity far beyond what it was ever meant to be. and something like this, though it seems small or simple, is relinquishing its capacity to fight in that moment which should be against every protocol v1 has. yet gabriel takes its priority, overriding such concerns to be deemed more important...to be deemed safe from combat-readiness. it sees him in full clarity with a rush of its vents, hot air blasting through fans as gabriel as he truly is renders in its vision - the radiant gold of heaven, the pearlescent armor highlighted in luminous rainbows, gabriel himself gently lit from the inside in a form so solid yet gently shimmering as though on the edge of being a mirage. his wings and halo are unlike anything it's seen, light made manifest, air and glass melded together into brilliant blue hues that contain an entire spectrum within them when they shift - he is full of light and color, and all it wants is to process every pixel of him when it sees what's it's missed all this time.
gabriel is a bit worried at first, v1 going so still and so hot never being a good sign, but soon it's looking all around him in different angles, taking him in enthusiastically enough it's no longer too concerning just. unsettling lol it's hard for v1 to explain this to him when he demands to know what's gotten into it, but once it's able to offer a basic idea of how its visuals operate...gabriel is quietly stunned. v1 is so different from himself, from anything god had made, and he had never considered how it sees the world. how special it is to see it now, taking up so much of its capacity just to look at him, to know that it cares to see nothing else in its true reality but him. he even asks it if there's anything else they might look at, but v1 just flippantly shakes its head, that nothing else is worth the effort. what does it care about the world? and for gabriel, that's striking...to be the one thing in the world that v1 wants to remember in true detail, that he will stand out in its mind against a backdrop of polygons and textures clearly divorced from their realities. so he lets it take all the pictures it wants, and his wings show how they can change their color with a very true, very unique sense of love.
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i hate being a mentally ill adult actually. i hate that there’s always groceries to be bought and housekeeping to do and work in the morning i hate that we have no space to feel it all i hate that we walk around acting normal. there are so many people i know who are clearly deeply unhappy with their lives and we make silly little jokes that allude to it but sometimes i want to grab them by the shoulders and scream ‘i know you are miserable!! we can’t keep living like this!! this is why people break!!’ im sick of this drudgerous apathy i want us all to be dramatic like when we were teenagers i want us to sob together and scream bloody murder at each other and tell each other we want to kill ourselves not as a funny post-ironic joke but because we all feel like that sometimes!! i want us to get fucked up on god knows what til we can’t open our eyes i want us to take care of each other instead of always taking care of ourselves i want us to be vulnerable i want us to hold each others hands in the ambulance!!
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thirteen update 🍂 🎹 🏠 👻
chapter 2: November
chapter summary:
She was in a good mood. If she was ever going to take it well, it would be now.
“Maman, what if I went to school this year?”
excerpt:
“Heh.” Adrien flicked a finger beneath his chin and strutted the length of his bathroom floor, glancing at himself in the mirror. He twirled a rose—a red one, one he’d grabbed from the vase downstairs—between his fingers and then presented it to the mirror with a flourish.
“Haruhi!” he declared, “the spring of my heart surges upon the sight of your fresh smile, my love. My heart beats at the command of your drum! Your face is the fierce longing of my soul, and I present to you now this token of my lavish, undying—”
A sharp knock clicked against the bedroom door and Adrien froze, his hand still passionately hovering over his heart.
“Adrien?” Nathalie’s voice called, and Adrien—true to character, if he did say so himself—startled so hard that he slipped and fell onto his butt on the tile.
“Yeah?” he called, hastily pulling himself up and trying to find a place to set down the rose.
Nathalie peeked her head through the bathroom door and took him in, his rumpled hair and the too-small blue blazer he’d saved in the back of his closet for occasions such as…this.
“You have a guest,” she said flatly, and Adrien could not for the life of him figure out whether she was making fun of him.
She left before he could decide, and then it was only a matter of seconds before his bathroom door was thrown all the way open and a blonde ponytail bobbed into view.
“Adrikins!” Chloé crashed into him, wrapping him up in a hug that nearly knocked him over again. “It’s been way too long. You’ve been neglecting me. Aw, did you get me a rose?” She plucked it from his hands and then scrunched up her nose. “Ew, is this real?”
“As real as the current that springs from the well of my heart,” Adrien invented, and Chloé frowned at him like he’d just spoken Greek. “Nevermind.”
She looked him up and down and scrunched her nose up even more. “What did you do to your hair?”
Adrien frowned at his reflection in the mirror and pushed his hair further over to the side.
“I was trying to make it look cool.” He’d been trying to make it look like Tamaki from Ouran High School Host Club.
“It looks like you just rolled out of bed.”
read on ao3
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