#not only his life but his memory

[somnimagus]

My page for @sheikahzine; about Impaz's duty to her village, empty of people and full of memories.

[id in alt text]

#legend of zelda #loz #twilight princess #loz tp #i'm still reeling that someone sent me an ask about this one.. that they took the time to find my tumblr and tell me they liked it #it really meant a lot; thank you to anyone that stops to leave comments like that. they make me happy #but yeah! here's the usual symbolism ramble: #i thought it'd be cool to have the 'spirits' flowing one way and the cats walking through them the other way #to kinda show the difference in life inhabiting the village in the past and present #link's face is covered because impaz was just waiting for 'the hero' so his clothes are what matters; not his face #and it (hopefully) gives a surreal and intangible sense to 'the hero' she could only hope would actually show up #you can feel free to interpret the glowy blue sheikah as ghosts or just as memories of the past! i couldn't decide either way #the one on the bottom left is oot impa since she's implied to be the village founder. so i guess she would be a ghost actually? #fan art #my art #project stuff #and ahhh the book-- everyone's stuff is so beautiful!! #especially the writing. some of the fics made me really tear up and some were so fun and clever. i really love them #a lot of them captured the sheer burden of the role of the sheikah; all of the time and grief and doubt #i know i always say this stuff about every project but. the people i get to work with in these are truly so skilled every time

[canisalbus]

I was watching a comp video of Barbie Nutcracker and about choked when I saw this dude

MACHETTE?!??!?!?!

Love your lil guys 💚

That sure is a creature.

#Barbie movies weren't really a part of my childhood but on a factual level I know I must've watched at least a couple when I was very young #and I'm not kidding the only thing I remember from any of them is the mouse king from the nutcracker #mostly because I recall being annoyed and weirded out by how oddly lumpy his face was #it got seared into my brain #seeing any footage of them feels like unlocking a memory from past life #or a fever dream #answered #the-poppy-outie-effect

[stainedglass-sketchbook]

CHILDREN OF BHAAL

I adore the vibe of redeemed durge your sister killed your mind and took your place - it was the greatest gift she ever gave you

#orin the red #baldur's gate 3 #bg3 orin #the dark urge #cant stop thinking about orin #myart #durge vaye #still deciding what kind of c section scar to give vaye #went with a vertical scar for this one #the lore for vaye is that he got pretty far into his life as baahls chosen as far as milestones are concerned #became unholy assassin almost finished those plans to take over the world had a kid for sacrifice/back up bhaalspawn purposes ect #& was daddy's perfect little murder baby <3 until the lobotomy ofc #then only with memory loss was there was enough distance for him to actually face how fucked the whole situation #btw Orin did Vaye's top surgery c-section and lobotomy <3 #thats his whole medical team right there #when you wake up with no memory all you have is your body for evidence so i really leaned into that for vaye's scars #I gave him vash the stampede level scars lol #he wakes up knows 4 things: that hes been through metaphorical hell and survived that someone did a choppy job on his top surgery #that at one point he decided face + eye tattoos would be his thing and that hes had a child #Im debating whether or not Orin would outright kill the kid or if shed keep the kid around until theyre old enough to face her in a duel #Leaning towards the second #that means while vaye is wondering around faerun that kid is having arts and crafts time with auntie orin! (oh no oh no oh no)

[high-voltage-rat]

something I do appreciate about red vs blue is its particular brand of “came back wrong”. you were brought back, but you’re just a memory of the person you’re supposed to be. you’re just the expectations of them. you’re just the pieces everyone else saw and remembered. you’re tough like the original, but you’ll always fail no matter how tough you are, because the original failed, too. you’ve got a personality like the original, but it’s not quite right because you didn’t actually live the life they did. there’s this person you love- who you would kill or suffer or die for- but you don’t know why, you just know you’re supposed to be together because that’s what you were made for.

#thinkin abt tex and epsilon at 4am on a thursday #anyway thinkin about the fact that tex and church were never *actually* together outside of blood gulch #she tried to save alpha. she failed. he didn't know who she was and she was forced to leave him. #but realistically? he'd never met her before. because she wasn't allison and he wasn't leonard #they were both just copies that knew who they were supposed to be #and epsilon never met tex. he only had the copy based on alpha's muddled memories. #and then when he brought her back... she was just even more wrong because she was a memory of a memory #and even with all of alpha's memories #epsilon wasn't alpha. he was someone different because he'd been through different things #alpha didn't remember what was done to him. epsilon did. alpha didn't know what he'd lost. epsilon did. #alpha lived his life. had relationships with the reds and blues. epsilon just remembered it. #and with that in mind you have to wonder... #what did tex actually remember? who did she think she was? what did she think the director and alpha were to her? #because epsilon had alpha's memories but beta didn't even have that. #anyway yeah roommate agreed to experience rvb with me and we watched seasons 1-10 together and hooboy #I'm back on my bullshit #red vs blue #rvb #Agent Texas #tex rvb #Leonard Church #church rvb #epsilon rvb #alpha rvb #beta rvb

[residentinsomniacartist]

Thinking about Caleb and how so much of his story ends with him finding meaning in the temporary.

He spent so long chasing a way to bring his parents back, but in the end he had to accept that they were gone. They were temporary. He has his memories of them now, but that’s all. And he has to find peace with that and find a way to remember them fondly, even though they’re gone now, truly and completely.

He and Essek love each other dearly, but there will come a day when he will have lived his life and grown old and Essek will still be Essek. But even so, every moment they spend together is still meaningful. Even if it ends, it means something.

Just. Caleb and loving things even when they won’t last. Maybe because they won’t last.

#Even Caleb and Molly/Kingsley too #cause I can never stop with my Widomauk bullshit I love them So Much #Molly lived his life on borrowed time and he knew it #and King was Molly’s second chance at life #and Caleb only has memories of Molly now and he has to be ok with that #and maybe find a way to love Kingsley despite those memories #I’m So Normal about them can you tell #caleb widogast #critical role #critical role spoilers #critical role campaign 2 spoilers #cr campaign two #essek thelyss #shadowgast #widomauk in the tags

[felixakranken]

TWF fans have a strange habit of, for lack of a better word, woobifying Mr. Walten.

I think a lot of you seem to take this series a lot less serious than it actually is, and those same people have a very bad habit of making Jack out to be a saint. He's just a normal guy. Just because he loves his family doesn't mean he's some sweet and perfect guy who has no flaws. I never see any of you discuss or portray his anger issues that Martin has mentioned numerous times.

You all blatantly ignore the fact that Sophie's only memories she retained of him were that he was angry and he worked all the time. Just because he loves his family and didn't abuse them doesn't mean he's perfect. To deny him of these flaws take away what a dynamic character he's being written to be.

We know Felix sucks. We all know this because no one shuts up about it. That's his best friend of 20 years, someone he chose to have around his family, and someone he chose to start a business with. Felix's actions don't reflect on Jack, obviously, but you have to think about the fact they are best friends of 2 decades.

The small bit we know about Jack and what things Martin has let on to his personality over time is very different than what everyone makes him out to be, and it's strange. If you choose to ignore that Jack is just a normal middle-aged man in the 70s, that's on your own inability to actually like the character that's there.

#I could continue about this rant but truly it's grating on my very last nerve #i remain the only guy on this site that likes the workaholic chainsmoker 40 year old man #you guys do realize a guy can be goofy and love his family and also have flaws #does anyone remember when martin said that jack and felix hang out at bars together? we ignoring that? #just like how we ignore the sophie's memory of him on the site? #or how martin has said when jack dislikes something he actively shits on it (cartoons fashion choices music etc) #its weird to make him out to be some poor saint of a father who has zero flaws and his only personality traits are i love my wife !!! #him being a normal human with a multifaceted personality makes what happened all the more sad and realistic. he was a normal guy #with a normal life that was torn apart in a horrific unforeseeable accident. let him be dynamic. let him be an actual character and not jus #some goofy cartoon funny man. #rant over #twf #the walten files #jack walten #🥃.txt

[martyrbat]

perpetual mourning – batman black and white (1996) #1

[ID: a black and white panel sequence of Bruce Wayne as Batman investigating a murder. He performed an examination of the victim's body and found DNA evidence to convict her killer and then performed an autopsy to examine her stomach contents — which led him to a little 24/7 diner. He walks in, disrupting the cozy scene with his presence.

Bruce internally reflects, ‘People think i'm a knight. A savior. But in truth, I'm only a vessel to hold the memories of those who've passed on. Those who've no shell left to store them. They must think I revel in my victories. It must seem like I never lose a fight. I lose plenty. The ones I couldn't get to. The ones I couldn't save in time. Those are the ones I carry around inside of me. Those are the ones I'll mourn forever.’

He shows the only waitress a photo of the victim's face and asks, “Excuse me. Do any of you know this woman?” The waitress gasps and holds her hand to her head in shocked distress. She stammers, “That's Chelsea, she comes in here all the time. Sits in the same booth, the same time, reads the same book... um, what was the title...? She, uh, left here only a couple of... Why do you... Oh, god. No. Dear girl...”

Back at the morgue, Bruce solemnly gazes down at the woman as she lays in an unzipped body bag. He thinks, ‘Luckily, you hadn't digested your last meal, Chelsea. There're only a few places in the neighborhood where you were found that serve blueberry pie at this hour of the morning.’ He carefully zips the body bag entirely. The identification label states she was a thirty year old caucasian female. The name ‘Jane Doe’ has been scribbled out to now be replaced with ‘Chelsea Rain’. Bruce continues to ruminate, ‘You only have your thoughts and dreams ahead of you. You're someone. You mean something. I'll remember. You're within me now. Forever.’ END ID]

#screaming wailing sobbing.... #‘People think i'm a knight. A savior. But in truth I'm only a vessel to hold the memories of those who've passed on. #Those who've no shell left to store them. They must think I revel in my victories. It must seem like I never lose a fight. I lose plenty. #The ones I couldn't get to. The ones I couldn't save in time. Those are the ones I carry around inside of me. #Those are the ones I'll mourn forever.’ THATS HIM!!!! THAT'S BRUCE !!!!! EVERY DEATH HE CARRIES WITH HIM AND FEELS RESPONSIBLE FOR #EVEN IF ITS ILLOGICAL! EVEN IF HE COULD NEVER PREVENT IT. HES ALWAYS GOING TO BLAME HIMSELF AND DEDICATE HIS LIFE TO THOSE WHO LOST THEIRS #HES ALWAYD GOING TO FEEL GUILTY FOR NOT BEING ABLE TO PROTECT THEM. IF HE HAD JUST SKIPPED THAT MEAL TO DO MORE RESEARCH. IF HE COULD OF #STAYED UP. IF HE COULD HAD FIGURED IT OUT FASTER. IF HE COULD HAVE SOMEHOW BE THERE... #JUST ALWAYS FEELING RESPONSIBLE FOR EVERY SINGLE PERSON'S LIFE. #HES ALWAYS GOING TO MOURN THE STRANGERS ON THE STREET JUST AS MUCH AS HE MOURNS HIS PARENTS !!! HIM AND HIS BLEEDING HEART !!!! #c: batman black and white (1996) | i: 1 #crypt's panels #bruce wayne #batman #ransom's recs #<- babe.... new tag... :((

[little-pondhead]

DPxDC Prompt:

[this is a long one please forgive me]

Bruce lied to the others about his trip through time. Not all of it! Just…one specific thing.

During the early parts of his timeline hijinks, before Tim realized Bruce was still alive, he had a bit of a respite in between his endless time jumps. (Maybe a certain ghost was helping him out.) With a fuzzy memory at best and a strange itch to investigate the unknown, Bruce had been taken in by an old couple who had no kids but wanted to pass on the family name. And who better than a thirty-something amnesiac stranger who could actually be related by blood?

Bruce, with nowhere to go, accepted his new name, grew out his hair, and quickly got accepted into college for engineering. There, he met two of his closest friends; a redheaded woman who could kick his ass and a wet chicken of a man who could also kick his ass. They both made him nostalgic for something he didn’t remember, and that made him sad sometimes, but the two were always there to cheer him up.

Years passed, and Bruce’s life moved on. He settled well into his new name, mourned his parents when the eventually passed, celebrated his wedding with the redhead, and grieved when the last of their trio fell out of touch. He had a daughter, and then a son! They were both so smart, even if they didn’t share the same passion he had for exploring the science behind the afterlife. (Something about the dead just itched his brain in an infuriating way, and Bruce wasn’t one to let sleeping dogs lie. He just had to find out why he was so obsessed with this stuff!)

Eventually, his and his wife’s research yielded results, and that’s when bits of Bruce’s former life started coming back to him. After the portal opened, he spent his days with his head in a fog, oblivious to the world around him as he struggled to continue his work.

Why did he remember a boy named Dick? Who would name their child that? And Jason…who was Jason? That name always made him sad. There were more names, more faces, but none of them were his. He could never remember what his name was supposed to be. All he had was the one his adoptive parents gave him.

His wife was worried. His daughter was struggling. And his son…his son sometimes hurt to look at. Bruce didn’t know why. He knew he was being a terrible father, but something in him wanted to cry whenever he gazed at those clear blue eyes, just like his own. His son was too smart for his own good, and realized his dad had started avoiding him.

The day his son purposely left the room so Bruce could relax was one that hurt him even now.

Time kept passing, and Bruce was becoming anxious. His brain fog was as bad as its ever been. He had constant headaches, and his hands kept twitching for nonexistent tools on his belt. Something was going to happen. Something had happened. A voice in his head told him it was all his fault.

So in an attempt to clear his head and spend more time with his family, Bruce insisted they all go to dinner at the local diner. His son invited his friends. Even better! More people meant more distractions from his messed-up thoughts. He wouldn’t spiral with the kids around.

And then something exploded.

The last thing Bruce remembered was his son’s (green??) eyes widening in fear and horror as something yanked him violently backwards. He fell farther than expected, through a portal and a green sky full of black stars. A hand tightened on the back of his jumpsuit, hauling his giant body through another portal with a roar of a motorcycle.

And then…and then…and then what?

All of a sudden, Bruce was sprawled in some mud in the middle of a forest, dizzy and coughing from the explosion’s fumes. He’s singed all over, and his ears still rang from the force of the…what happened again?

Bruce sits up, and all of a sudden, he’s in the era of the pilgrims. His memory has been wiped clean, his new name and family forgotten thanks to the hands of time. His adventures through the time stream continue, with him assuming many different identities throughout many different decades.

The memories of being Jack Fenton don’t return to him until he’s back in 2004, once again in his own time and living as Bruce Wayne. A glowing green sticky note informs him that “The Nasty Burger Incident” had just occurred. His “other self” just had his ass dragged to another era, so the time loop would continue.

It also informed him that he had an orphaned son crying for him at Bruce’s own grave.

Well, his forgotten son (that sounded bad, even to him) was supposed to be about fourteen now, right? Bruce hopes he doesn’t have to fight anyone for custody.

#pondhead blurbs #danny phantom #dpxdc #writing prompt #‘Alfred get the Guy’ #‘you haven’t even left the house today’ #‘my dad senses are tingling and I may need to fistfight another billionaire so have the Other Guy on standby as well’ #Bruce becomes Jack Fenton #he went to college and literally built a life for himself at the same time ‘Bruce Wayne’ existed #‘Jack’ just never watched the news #clockwork had to make sure Danny existed so guess what! you’re the son of the bat happy birthday #the nasty burger incident happens but in the two seconds it took to kill everyone #Johnny 13 dragged his ass to another era #he was ordered to by clockwork #I have zero clue how old Bruce was during his timeline shenanigans and idk when it took place either #just work with me on this #please I am begging you #he only got his memories back when the time matches up with Jack Fenton’s ‘death’ #Danny loses his dad and then gets him back in the span of 24 hours but now his dad is a billionaire?? #well he gets to watch Bruce fistfight Vlad for custody and then stop him from killing clockwork #cause how DARE Clockwork just make him FORGET an entire family he had??? #morally grey clockwork #Danny is trying really hard not to become Dan and Bruce is trying really hard to explain this to his other kids #‘no this one is ACTUALLY mine’ #‘yes I know I was a teen in Europe when the wedding would have happened’ #again don’t know the dc timeline just work with me here #please don’t ask me to continue this I will cry #if someone else does I’d be happy to read it though :))

[puhpandas]

Tony and Vanessas relationship through Gregory can be something so personal

#im so obsessed with the concept of tony and vanessa #i got some of it out in rabbit burrow but like #vanessa seeing this kid show up who gregory knew pre memory loss pre vanessa being free #coming back and hes supposed to be dead. hes probably the only one to survive the two of them #and then he keeps coming over and coming over all the time #and vanessa watches gregory and him hole up in his room for hours and she can hear them laughing from the living room #and theres this other one named ellis as well #but he isnt like how tony is with gregory #vanessa just watches her kid and this other kid get reacquainted #and as more time passes she notices their relationship becomes special #tony is like a blend of gregorys old and new life and all of the good in both #and vanessa just loves seeing her kid happy #tony and vanessa both iteract sometimes but dont really talk one on one #but vanessa knows that they have a common goal #tht they want the best for gregory #and vanessa just grows fond of this other kid who seems to be attatched at the hip with hers #and starts to prepare little snacks for when he comes over when she learns more meals to make #pandas.txt #pandas talks #thoughts #beckory #detective rabbit #vanessa #gregory #3 star fam #tony

[thefirstknife]

thoughts on Crow's character being reduced into Uldren-but-not-quite? I'm not happy with these past few weeks of dialogue, I feel like suddenly everyone treats Crow as just the guy that did those horrible things, and this week he's also taking responsibility for those actions *he did not take*. sure, his corpse did it, but wasn't a whole year of storyline based around the fact that Crow and Uldren are separate persons? why is every other character acting like none of that ever happened?

I don't think he's really being blamed for those things, it's more that he now has those memories and reacts to them in a distinctly Crow way. He's the type to take the responsibility for those things, even though it wasn't really him, but he remembers it all so in his mind, it's his problem.

It's actually a fairly complicated issue that is unique to Crow: how should Guardians who fully remember their past behave? Crow decided to make amends for things that his "past self" did, even though it's not him, because he remembers it so vividly and it bothers him. This doesn't mean that other people are pushing it on him; they're clearly not. Petra has numerous lines where she tells him that nothing Uldren did is on him, and so do other people. So I'm pretty sure they're not acting like it didn't happen, given that everyone is often reassuring him that he's not being blamed for Uldren.

But for Crow, he remembers doing those things. He didn't do them, but he remembers them and it bothers him. It's probably exceptionally difficult to think of yourself as not that guy when you have that guy's life in your head. I don't think people often consider how this must feel for Crow. He wasn't just told what Uldren did. He was given the full package directly into his head. Uldren's deeds aren't stories to Crow, they're effectively his life. A life of a stranger, but his life nonetheless.

Obviously, they could've gone with not giving him his memories back. But since they did, I think that Crow's behaviour (especially given how compassionate he is) makes sense. He remembers those things as his own, even though they're not his own, but he feels like he should be making amends for them. I think that's the crucial part of his arc; he knows what Uldren did, he acknowledges that it wasn't him, he KNOWS it wasn't him, but nobody else will make those amends and nobody else is working to fix those wrongs, so he feels responsible to do it.

That doesn't mean that the story is suddenly about Crow = Uldren; it's not. It's about Crow's choice. Crow isn't Uldren, but he's choosing not to ignore their connection even if he would be completely accepted if he did ignore it. I think that's what gives Crow's story an element worth exploring.

#destiny 2 #crow #ask #obviously the crucial part here is the narrative decision to give him back his memories #given that they did i think this is a story in this setting worth exploring #how would guardians behave if they had complete and full knowledge of who they were in the past? #we have ana who only learned through stories and documents but doesn't actually remember her own life #and crow is the one who actually fully remembers everything #it's an interesting parallel #but obviously they could've also gone with not giving crow his memories back. i'm not sure what his arc would've looked like then

[biigiiiii]

So this:

Leads to this:

Which leads to this:

Which allows vecna to do this:

Right? Right………. So then this:

Leads to this:

Which leads to:

???????????????? 👀👀👀👀👀

Will has had powers.

#will has powers #no - he had powers. he probably displayed them when he got taken in to the upside down. and vecna wanted those powers. so he took them. #this also opens up to the possibility he could get them back somehow. with el it was through memories of her mom when she was born. love. #when she relived her younger self opening the gate for the first time through the power of love #so Will could get his back through strong feelings of love. just saying. #stranger things predictions #stranger things theories #byler #byler tumblr #so the cool kids can find this 😌 #I HAVE ANOTHER THING TO SAY!!! Els powers are strong from negative emotions - hatred. anger. vengeance. #but they’re even more powerful from feelings of love - familial and platonic love (mama. hopper. max. etc) #so if Will did show his powers to vecna (accidentally) when he got taken then those would have been from his most common negative emotion #fear #El is anger. hatred. will is fear. anxiety. #so will will get his powers to their fullest strength only with Love. romantic love. feeling wanted. useful. #familial/friend love was something El needed in her life and she against all odds managed to find it #she got the love she desperately needed and deserved (not romantic like the Melvin’s seem to think) #will has all that in buckets. he has friends who love him. the best mom and brother anyone could wish for. but he feels unworthy of love. #feels like all the bad things that happened to him were deserved. so him receiving and accepting what he desperately needs and deserves #will fully unlock his powers - if he has them. #thank you for coming to my Ted talk

[tacogoats]

Thinking about a Durge who has rejected Bhaal, and whatever person they used to be, but still secretly longs for their lost memories. A Durge that, despite the answers the man could give them, would never re-ignite that strange passion they were shown they once had for Gortash. A Durge that has, for all purposes to the others in their party, moved on. A Durge that, six months after that day atop the Netherbrain, at a party celebrating their new life, receives a strange letter with an even stranger gadget hidden inside.

The meeting at the inauguration was a strange one. Despite Gortash's very obvious elation at seeing what he'd called his 'dearest friend', the man had no hesitation very proudly detailing the Dark Urge's grand scheme; their grand design for the world to be.

In front of all their friends and 'new' lover, of course.

They were furious, and rightly so. Gortash must have known what he was doing. To isolate them, to bring them back to him. The person who accepted them for all they were, all they are, and all they could be - together.

It wasn't enough to win the Dark Urge back to him, and although they'd tentatively teamed up in the end - he had died. Not by the Urge's hand, but in some ways, his own. The group had left Gortash's body within the Prism, and simply moved on. There were bigger problems, and no one really was sad to see him go. Right?

The Urge remembers a letter found in Moonrise Towers. Gortash liked gadgets, according to Ketheric. Evidence was abundant enough with the Steel Watchers, among other things. The item is strangely shaped, entirely too small, and with a simple touch, comes to life.

It reminds them of the strange picture they had seen at the Iron Throne. Gortash's visage shone through a glass, moving, talking - warning them to leave. Answering them, praising them for listening.

What a strange contraption, they'd thought all those months ago.

And then, now, there he was again. A picture, in their hand. A moving picture. Speaking with his voice, wearing his weary face - so, so weary - but not the same as before.

This had passed already. The voice did not answer them this time. It was simply impossible - the man was dead, but not quite gone in this moment.

He speaks of the inauguration like it had just happened. His joy at seeing his favourite 'assassin' again, which he says with a sad smile and a moment of silence. A heavy sigh follows, rubbing at his eyes - which they can see are so much darker than they last remember.

He is tired.

Gortash speaks of their time together, before Orin - and how Orin torments him day and night now that they had both confirmed the Urge's return. She appears with their face, taunting him some days. Other days she sends assassins that wear the same, and he simply cannot let his guard down anymore. But he knew it was them that day.

They can see the exhaustion that pulls down his features, makes his words heavier. This is not the Archduke speaking to him in this moment - it is a tired, broken down man that has just seen a ghost.

Yet they cling to every word anyway, because even though this is a broken down man who is terrified of the ghost - the man still hopes the ghost will remember him, too.

They don't. But he doesn't know that, not this little picture of him, anyway.

The picture says that if they are seeing this recording, it means he is already dead - and although he had planned to sway them back to his side, he may not have been given the chance, and refuses to allow the opportunity to share what the two of them once had slip away.

He would gift unto them the memories that he could, even beyond death. The bloody ones, the happy ones, the painful ones.

And he talks, he smiles, he even cries.

And so do they.

#durgetash #dark urge x gortash #i dont usually write gushy things but i am trying to write fic of this i need to yell a bit #this has been sitting in my drafts i release it to the world now #dont look at me im cringe #i just think that my own dark urge would always long for their memories despite withers's warnings and #knows that gortash is the only person who could give it to them and selfishly sides with him because of it #and when gortash dies he knows all is lost. and accepts it. he has a new life now. its okay. (its not okay) #and when they see that funky lil thing in the letter They Know. They KNOW it's from That man #and there's a moment of hesitation as those words from withers flash in their mind again but nope fuck it. selfishness wins. #and even though the man was a monster - they were once eachother's monsters and - there are his answers. some of them anyway. #and he can finally let go of that : ) #i dont have a writing tag nor do i want one rn this is a rarity for me #bg3 epilogue spoilers #minor spoilers but still

[plushievash]

the reincarnation aus got me fucked up fr

#my doodles #trigun #trimax #eriks trigun #vash the stampede #nicholas d wolfwood #remember seein a tweet abt a reincarnation au where nai tracks down legato to make it up to him and finds out #vash has not only Not found wolfwood but has been Actively Avoiding him from The Guilt #and i think thats Delicious. #but also. only one party reincarnates my beloathed (beloved) #post trimax eriks vibing until one day oh fuck its the love of my life #ww doesnt have any memories of his past life he just. Has A Feeling. theres somethin abt this guy...

[quarks-pussy]

So I know we here at Startrekfandom love that "came back wrong but from the pov of the wrong" thing and apply it to many different characters and canon situations and I am far from trying to complain about it (I'm "came out wrong" trope myself so I was always gonna obsess over it) but having recently watched a very important episode (you'll know which one) for the first time I think there's a character who hits both tropes mentioned but llike, intertwined, opposite and subverted, and whom I wanna talk about.

Julian Bashir.

From his parents' pov he's "came out wrong but we got him help and he came back better" while from his own pov it's "came out 'insufficient', was destroyed for it, came back wrong and only later slowly came to terms with his new self tho never the process (justifiably so)" and it's heartbreaking because in a way, he's right! Jules Bashir died! His parents had an intellectually disabled child and decided to eugenics him! Julian is not the person he used to be and while I do love the person he is now, that doesn't bring back who he was! Part of me wishes we could've gotten to see Jules at least once and part of me hopes we never do because my heart would shatter.

This isn't a good comparison but nonetheless one I can't help drawing: it's giving similar vibes to anti-vaxxers. "I'd rather risk having a child who is dead than one who's autistic". Obviously this doesn't map over since Julian is still autistic and the procedure his parents subjected him to specifically targeted his intellectual disability and if any folks with id wanna comment on this I definitely recommend you listen to them over me, but it's a similarity I, as an autistic who has encountered anti-vaxxers again and again, can't help but point out. "Give me a normal child or give them death."

This may have been written about already but there needs to be stories about teenage Julian (after finding out and rediscovering who he was) practicing some good ol' recognition of the self through media. I need to hear about how he would encounter a story about someone who came back wrong (I'm gonna assume there's plenty of "wrong" pov stories floating around by the 24th century) and absolutely weep. I need to see Julian mourning Jules, taking years and years to process his feelings, experiencing guilt about how he, the imposter, didn't deserve to live Jules' life.

Came back wrong from the returned's pov but it wasn't an accident. It was done to you deliberately by the people who claim to love you. And now you are here, piloting the corpse of your predecessor.

Jules Bashir is dead. Long live Julian Bashir.

#i've called julian jules before simply as a normal nickname but i don't think i ever will again. not after this #and knowing that if it had been possible i would have probably gone the way jules did. knowing that at his age i would have gone willingly. #fuck dude i am literally actually crying literal tears irl right now this is not a joke #fuck!!!!! #julian bashir #jules bashir #doctor bashir i presume #came back wrong #star trek deep space nine #HE WAS SIX YEARS OLD!! HE WAS SIX YEARS OLD AND THEY KILLED HIM!!!! #i cannot stop crying i am literally crying and like not even just a little #i cannot... poor julian how the FUCK do you ever come to terms with something like that #and like... julian remembers. he has most if not all of jules' memories and also knows he was murdered simply for not being julian #like how did he cope #(im about to go off on a tangent that will contain censored names for the sake of not clogging those tags if you dont know who i mean hmu) #like this is literally the thing that fucked up j*ran so bad he went on a murder spree isn't it #he remembers the one who came before who was killed. very different circumstances of course esp since tr*ll are expected to replace one ano #another but he remembers this person he remembers BEING this person who was young and simply enjoying life and who died a sudden death and #he remembers the experience of that death as well and how it lead to his own creation. it's not remotely similar ofc but considering that #the only time we see t*rias in alpha canon is in julian's body... i need to lie down for a moment. #and jor*n couldn't cope! he couldn't! it was far too much and the weird thing is right now in this moment i GET it y'know?? like that's #so horrific. and i haven't watched any jo*an episode besides facets yet but do you think. do you think j*dzia told julian about all this an #he nodded along and kept composure and then when he was alone he broke down crying? like julian you're doing SO well ily you're coping and #you shouldn't have to obviously but you do nonetheless!! do you think julian still has something from jules? like i've heard there's a tedd #but i mean jules prolly didn't keep a diary he was a six year old with an intellectual disability it's pretty unlikely he could write but #does julian have drawings made by jules? i'd like to think so but honestly his parents probably threw them out. like they also moved so #sorry i'm just. many thoughts head full. ive stopped crying now but who knows for how long. also i'll have to tag this with my original tag #maybe i should've picked something less silly for when i make serious posts but like what am i gonna change my url as well? don't think so #original posts fresh from quark's pussy #and thats the tag limit folks it's been fun. i had to delete two other tags but my god. anyway. thinking about jules bashir forever & cryin

[dovabunny]

Angsty Ghostsoap Idea of the day - Here all along

Soap met Simon when the man was on leave. Beautiful, mysterious Simon had walked past Soap's coffee shop a few times, before he mustered the courage to come in.

Meanwhile, thinking the huge man must've been stalking or creeping on one of his pretty female clients, Soap had stomped out to confront the man- only for the man to awkwardly apologize and ask him to dinner. The twist gave Soap such whiplash he...

... said without realizing what was happening.

For three blissful years Simon would come home to him every chance he got, sometimes even just for 3 days between missions.

He told him things he legally was not allowed to, but Soap was his 'home' - a place where he was just Simon, not Ghost or a soldier or a killer or a victim. A man who loved with his whole heart and wanted no secrets between them. Something neither of them had ever had.

They cooked together, Simon talked him into getting a dog named Riley, they made future plans and talked about him retiring.

Then Simon comes home from a bad mission. He was put on medical leave for wounds that were not all physical but refused to talk about what had happened- what had rattled him so. He wasn't himself - cold, blunt, quick to anger, and distant in a way Soap's never seen him in their years together.

Then Simon finds the rings Soap had been hiding.

Simon had been impatiently digging through his art supplies looking for tape when he found the box.

When Soap came home from work it was to Simon sitting in the dark, the box on the table.

His home had never felt as cold as when Simon's voice demanded "what's this."

Soap fucked up, but he wasn't even sure how. He stuttered something about where did he find it when he noticed there was a pile of his sketches too - torn out of his journals, clearly not too gently. All the ones of Simon's face.

"You KNOW why I can't show my face! You KNOW how I feel about this! I refuse to take photos with you so you do this???" He tosses the sketches across the table.

"They're all I have of you when you're gone so long! I didn't-"

"And the rings!? You ALSO know how my parents' marriage went so why the fuck did you think I'd want that? Or did that just not matter either?"

Soap stares, the tension that had been on Simon's shoulders since he arrived a few days ago now turned on him. Soap swallows hard. He had never for even a second felt scared of Soap. But he saw it now... Saw 'Ghost' overtake Simon.

"Okay, I'm sorry. I'll burn the sketches and get rid of the rings. I'm sorry, baby. Let's just forget this?" He tries to step forward.

"This was a mistake..." Simon whispers and it feels like a knife to the gut.

"...Si, love, what are you?"

"I said this was a mistake."

Simon gets to his feet and it's then that Soap spots the packed bag. Si throws it over his shoulder as he makes for the door.

"Simon, no! Baby, please - I'm sorry! Please, don't leave like this!" He reaches for him but Si shrugs him off and doesn't slow down.

His world collapses as the door closes behind the man he had given his heart, soul, and future to.

Simon doesn't return his calls or texts. Texts apologizing, begging, texts angry and hurt, texts reminding him he's loved and he has a home here whenever he's ready.

Then the number is disconnected.

Then he gets a letter in the mail that ends with "Our deepest condolences" and a pair of dog tags.

Five years later. Soap has tried to move on, but just couldn't. He still has the rings. Wishes he kept at least one sketch. His shop does well, Riley is getting old, and so is Soap. He keeps busy, and sketches less. Even after all this time when he puts pencil to paper his hand wants to draw Simon.

Then torn, crumpled pages on the floor with boot prints on them flash in his mind and he puts the pencil back down.

This morning he sat in his little kitchen and pages through the local paper when he feels his blood run cold.

Last week's festival was the highlight of the moment, the newspaper covered in photos taken at the event. But in the background of one looms a painfully familiar figure.

Soap grabs his phone and rings the paper. "Photo three, page two- at the fountain - when was that taken?!" The journalist is baffled - all of them last week.

That can't be. It can't be! But he knows that figure, those shoulders, those curls. he's in the shadows but outlined, angled towards where Soap's little trailer stand was.

Soap pulls the dog tags out of his shirt - always around his neck all this time. Is Simon.. alive?

And...near?

Soap looks at the shadows all the way to work, peeking around all day to try to spot a man that shouldn't be there - convincing himself he isn't crazy.

At closing time he had enough. He prints a page and sticks it to the door when he locks up.

"Si, if you're reading this grow a pair and come home."

Later that night there's a knock at the door. A familiar tall man, new scars and silver creeping into blind curls, but just as beautiful as he remembers. Unsteady hands hold a bouquet of his favorite flowers.

"Is this still home?" He asks

"Ours. Always." Soap smiles through the tears.

#simon had a bad mission and had to relive some bad memories #the only way he could get out of the military was Laswell and price letting 'ghost' die so Simon couls retire #but a day hadn't passed that he didnt regret leaving Soap like that #but he still hated himself for dragging soap into his twisted life and putting him at risk just for loving a dangerous man like ghost #he was planning to just lurk and watch over soap #soapghost #ghostsoap #johnny soap mactavish #cod mwii #simon ghost riley #cod mw2 #john soap mactavish

[0rchidm4ntis]

hey lol *pmmms your 2wink*

#micas art #enstars #ensemble stars #あんスタ #hinata aoi #yuta aoi #ive yet to share anything about this au with anyone but for context: this is my very loose take on a pmmm au #most of enstars' storyline goes the same but at certain points kyubey chimes in and offers a wish in exchange for help with fighting witche #in the twins' case he gets to hinata first some time before the setsubun disaster. he hasnt gotten to expose his feelings to yuta #and kyubey takes advantage of that to offer an easy solution to his issue! so hinata wishes to vanish from yuta's life and memories #in consequence yuta is left on his own without a single memory of hinata but a very strong sense that something is out of place #everything in his life seems to go fine: he gets along great with his classmates. he works hard to improve as an idol in school #but for some reason he cant seem to shake the feeling that the world has become a little too quiet and vast #that something is missing and not right #and so when kyubey approaches him offering miracles he chooses to follow his guts and wishes to find whatever's been missing from his side #i wont go into further details (bc this is getting really long djdjd) but id be happy to talk about it more!! #only other unit ive got finished stuff for is valk (4 pieces to be exact) but i plan on sharing these later so yeah!! enjoy this for now~