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staytheword · 1 year

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a kiss at midnight

a kiss at midnight — one shot [ general masterlist ]

this series (and this blog) are 18+ !! minors, please do not interact!!

• changbin x female reader; felix, jisung and hyujin are also featured. (felix and jisung are sunshine twins and mc's cousins)

• non idol au, strangers to lovers. new years themed! a basic plot, just an excuse for some changbin smut. :) a lot of drinking, explicit language, explicit smut.

• smut warnings (spoilers ahead) — dom!changbin, sub!mc, slight degrading, use of pet names (slut, baby), handjob, cockwarming, oral sex, deepthroating, throat fucking, unprotected sex, public sex, agrexophilia.

• word count: 8.5k

Your cousins, Felix and Jisung, organized a big party for New Year's Eve. There, you meet someone new, and the attraction is instantaneous. You planned on drinking, eating, and dancing all night — it now looks like you'll be flirting, too.

• author’s note: I wanted to post this yesterday, but... there was a power outage and I couldn't :( I guess it's still relevant today, though, right? There is not much plot in this, I'm sorry! It was just for fun, to laugh, to enjoy some Bin. I hope you will like it ♡ Happy New Year everyone!!

The automated voice of your GPS announces you’ve reached your destination. You step on the breaks and frown at the screen of your phone, attached to the dashboard. No, this can’t be it. You’re at a cul de sac. There is no house here. No other cars. Just trees and snow and an empty road. This can’t be your destination.

“Fuck’s sake, fuck me,” you hiss between your teeth.

You try to enter the address you’ve been given away, but it gives no new results. Apparently you are there. Did Jisung give you the wrong address? You wouldn’t put it past him. You sigh deeply, rubbing your temples. What are you supposed to do now? The roads are a little icy, it’s getting dark, and you have no desire to drive around in the middle of nowhere trying to find this mysterious house.

You take your phone from the holder and call your cousin. After a few rings, a familiar voice answers - it’s not Jisung, but Felix. Nothing out of the ordinary.

“Hey, where are you?”

“In the middle of fucking nowhere!” you cry out. “Are you sure Ji gave me the right address?”

“Didn’t he tell you?”

“Tell me what?”

“The GPS will only take you so far. He didn’t say anything about turning right and following the side road?”

You sigh deeply, pushing two fingers against your upper nose. In your ear, Felix lets out a chuckle.

“I guess he didn’t,” he says. “Ok, listen.”

He gives you a few more directions, which you try your best to remember, and you tell him you’ll be there in a few minutes - and if you’re not, that he calls you back because you’ve probably gotten lost in the woods.

You put down your phone and accelerate slowly, making your way through the woods. The side road is mostly clear of snow, luckily, and when you spot a lighted house in between the trees, you sigh in relief. A few cars are parked there, and you can hear faint music coming from inside.

Once you’re parked, you grab your bags from the trunk and make your way to the front door. The place is bigger than you imagined, looking modern and expensive. It’s apparently the home of a friend of Felix’s who is away on vacation for the winter and agreed that Lix hosted his party there. The whole thing had been Jisung’s idea, who wanted to make this New Year particularly memorable after a difficult year. He wanted all his friends in one place, and of course Felix had to make it dramatic and host a party of more than twenty people in a house that isn’t even his.

Jisung and Felix, your cousins, are also twins. You grew up together. Your mother raised you on her own, had to work a lot, and so she ended up entrusting her sister to watch over you. This resulted in you spending way too much time with your cousins, the incarnations of chaos.

A few seconds after you knock the door opens on Jisung, and he opens his arms wide for a hug but instead you gently slap the back of his head.

“Oi, what the hell?!” he whines.

“Forgot to tell me about the side road,” you say, still pulling him into an affectionate hug.

“Oh, right… Sorry about that,” he chuckles.

“I nearly got lost in the woods,” you cry out dramatically. “I could’ve frozen to death. I could’ve been eaten by a bear.”

As Jisung continues to apologize, you keep doubling down on the worst possible scenarios that could have happened. It’s certainly one aspect of your character that developed by hanging out with Jisung and Felix - a flair for the dramatic.

A few people have already arrived for the party. Some of them you know, some you don’t - Jisung makes sure to introduce you and tells you where to put your bags. The house is big, but not that big, and all of you will have to share the different rooms with a few others. You don’t mind, it’s just for one night, and you’ve had enough sleepovers with your cousins to be comfortable sleeping in the same room as them. That’s if all of you even make it to the rooms - you can already bet people will be falling asleep all over the house in the early hours of the morning.

You meet Felix in the kitchen, giving him a tight hug, admiring the blue highlights he’s had made in his dark hair, and start to help him get some food ready.

On the speakers is a dynamic playlist, and you hum to the music, cutting pieces of smoked salmon to make rolls. Felix dances with you, his booming laugh filling your chest with warmth.

A few more guests come in, a few passing in the kitchen, which you welcome with broad grins. As you are putting colorful cupcakes on a platter, the door opens and a familiar voice reaches your ears. You’d recognize that shrill laugh anywhere. You glare at Felix, who is carefully avoiding your gaze.

“You invited Daki?!” you hiss, squinting your eyes.

Felix pinches his lips, trying to hold off laughter. “She invited herself, you know how she is. Besides she’s also our cousin, it would’ve been awkward to say no.”

“She’s not my cousin. You’re just too nice,” you groan. “I’m not going to be.”

“Don’t be petty.”

“Felix, she’s been mad at me ever since Hyunjin chose me to be a part of his team for that board game. And we were eight years old. I’m not petty, she is.”

You exchange a knowing look, Felix letting out a sigh.

“Speaking of Hyunjin, is he coming?” you ask.

“Yes, but later,” Felix tells you. “After he gets off work.”

“Fashionably late, as always.”

Hyunjin was your cousin’s neighbor when you were young, and he ended up spending a lot of time with you. So did Daki, for that matter. She was Jisung and Felix’s cousin from their father’s side, and your nemesis since that fateful board game many years ago. She had a crush on Hyunjin at the time - well, she still does - and when he had chosen you to be his partner instead of hers, she had looked at you like it was your fault. You still remember her telling you, some time later, that you did it to steal him away from her.

You had laughed because you had never been interested in Hyunjin that way, and somehow that made it worse. Ever since, everytime you met, Daki made it her job to provoke you, flirting with your boyfriends, making sure to eliminate you from games, that kind of thing. At first you fought back, but you had gotten tired. At this point, you just found it ridiculous.

When she comes into the kitchen to put the drinks she brought in the fridge, she is closely followed by Jisung who is already giggling. When he sees your face he bursts out laughing, running away as you slowly turn the knife in your hands.

“Hi Daki!” you say, giving her your fakest smile.

She gives you a similar one. “Y/N, it’s been so long!”

Fortunately she does not acknowledge you more than that and you turn away, grimacing, leaving Felix to take care of her. Instead you chase your other cousin down to give him another slap behind the head, and you steal his beer for good measure. You’re not going to let this ruin your evening.

Jisung throws an arm around your shoulder, his grin taking half of his face. You sit down on the stairs, sipping his beer, looking around, while Jisung answers a message on his phone. People are spread around the room - a few are chatting around the fireplace, others are already busy playing a card game. On the couch next to the fireplace, a bit further away, is a gorgeous looking girl with long chestnut hair, Yuna, who your cousin has a crush on, talking with a guy with wide shoulders. You don’t know either of them, but you find yourself staring at the guy in question.

Dark hair, almost black, unevenly brushes his forehead. Glistening eyes of deep brown, plump lips in the shape of a heart that are slightly pouted. He wears silver jewelry, a simple chain around his neck, two small hoops on his ear, a bracelet that moves as he explains something. On his shoulders, a fitted beige sweater that hints at an impressively muscled chest, tucked at the waist in a pair of black pants. You eye him up and down, all the way to his elegant leather shoes.

His sleeves are rolled up a little, his smirk leans on the left side of his face, and from where you sit you can hear the hints of a rough, loud voice.

You slap Jisung’s shoulder, getting his attention.

“Who is that?” you ask him, nodding towards the stranger.

Jisung follows your gaze. “Oh, you haven’t met Changbin?”

Changbin. That’s his name. It suits him.

You glare at Jisung. “No, but I want to.”

Your cousin lets out an amused laugh. “We work together. He’s the one that came up with the concept I told you about?”

“Really?” you say, unable to hide the interest in your voice.

“Keep your panties on, please. But don’t worry, your favorite cousin will introduce you. It’ll give me an excuse to flirt with Yuna.”

You roll your eyes at the “favorite cousin” appellation - he and Felix have been at it since you were old enough to understand the concept - but give him a thankful nod. You follow Jisung, who taps Changbin’s shoulder when you get close enough. Both him and Yuna look up.

“Sorry to interrupt,” Jisung says cheerfully. “Bin, I wanted to introduce you to Y/N, my cousin.”

Changbin glances at you with a smile, turning on the couch to get a better look at you. You wave at him with your most charming smile. It wouldn’t be much of a party if you didn’t get to flirt a little, right?

“Oh, the infamous cousin,” Changbin chuckles. “I actually heard a lot about you. But then again, Ji talks a lot.”

You laugh, ignoring Jisung’s complaints beside you. “It’s nice to meet you. I actually heard about you, too. I love that city lights concept you came up with.”

Changbin’s face lights up, and you feel your heart flutter a little. You can’t help it - he’s incredibly charming, his smile even more. Jisung clears his throat next to you as you stare at Changbin, and him at you.

“Hey, Yuna, want to get a drink?”

The latter chuckles, nodding at Jisung. “Let’s go.”

They walk away, and you point to the spot on the couch next to Changbin. “Can I sit down?”

“Please,” he says.

You sit, unable to stop looking at him. Of course Jisung would not have mentioned how hot his colleague was to you, but he is exactly your type and your cousin knows that. He’ll have to get another slap behind the head for that.

“So you grew up with Ji, huh?” Changbin asks, leaning back on the couch.

You nod. “Yup, him and Felix. My mom worked a lot, so my aunt watched over me.”

“That must’ve been… exhausting,” Changbin chuckles.

“I’m not that much better than them, to be honest,” you laugh. “Sometimes I might even be worse.”

Amusement flashes in Changbin’s eyes. “I’m sensing good stories here.”

You smile, unabashedly flirting. “You want one?”

“Please.”

So you tell him about the time the three built a fort when you were about ten and you had designated yourself main architect. You had made them build the whole thing, and then had pretended to throw a fit and destroyed everything. You played the same game two more times until you were “satisfied,” leaving your cousins frustrated and exhausted.

Changbin listens attentively to you throughout, laughing, and you quickly grow fond of the sound. It’s playful, makes you laugh even more, and you get so immersed in your conversation you almost forget about the rest of the party.

You notice a little scar on his chin. A beauty mark on his right ear.

You talk for a while, sitting close to each other, when Felix appears from the kitchen and asks for your help. You apologize to Changbin, who tells you to go.

“We’ll talk later,” he tells you with a wink.

When you head to the kitchen, your legs feel a little wobbly. You’ve been smiling so much your cheeks hurt a little.

You help Felix bring the food to the big table, which is set like a buffet. When you catch a glance of Changbin staring at you, you almost drop all the plates in your hands, because he is looking up and down at your body almost hungrily. If you were the type to blush, you would be scarlet right now.

But you’re not. Instead, you have to refrain yourself from just walking over to him, dragging him over to the nearest room and making out until you can’t breathe. Your thoughts derail as you walk back to the kitchen.

It’s been forever since you’ve felt such an instant attraction with someone. It has happened before, with one of your exes, a colleague at work. But like this? You aren’t sure but it might have never been this strong. All you want is to look back at him. See that lust in his eyes again. Know everything about him. You feel like you could run away to the other side of the world in this instant, take the biggest risks, a leap into the unknown, and he’d be holding your hand, laughing with you.

What if you did drag him to a private spot? What would he say? Would he kiss you back, slide his fingers under your blouse? You would feel his muscles against your hands, bite into his full lips, push him inside you…

“You all right, cuz?”

You look at Felix, who is frowning.

“You looked really out of it just now,” he says.

You bite your lip. “I’m fine, don’t worry,” you answer, although you can’t stay impassive.

Felix’s mouth breaks into a grin.

“What were you thinking about, huh?” he giggles. “Or rather, who were you thinking about?”

You nudge him, smirking to yourself.

“Leave my dirty thoughts alone,” you tell him.

He gasps. “So there IS someone… Tell me, tell me, please.”

“No way,” you laugh. “If I tell you, next time you talk to him you won’t be able to stop giggling. I love you, Lix, but you’re the worst at keeping secrets.”

He pouts, gathering forks to put on the table.

“If you tell me your secret, I’ll tell you mine.”

“What?!” you say. “You have a secret?”

“I do.”

“What is it?”

“Only if you tell me who you were thinking of.”

You squint your eyes, trying to decide if your cousin is making all of this up just to get the name out of you. It just isn’t Felix’s style, but you never know. As you’re trying to make up your mind, Jisung appears, sliding in the space between you.

“What are we whispering about?”

“Y/N was just going to tell me who she’s daydreaming fucking the brains out of,” Felix says with a sleazy smile.

“Oh, Changbin?” Jisung says.

You give him a furious look as Felix bursts out laughing. “JI, FUCK’S SAKE…”

“Oops,” Jisung chuckles, putting a hand over his mouth.

You slap his arm repeatedly, pouting. “Now I’ll never know Felix’s secret.”

“What secret? That he hooked up with theatre guy?”

“JISUNG,” Felix yells.

It’s your turn to laugh hysterically, shaking your head. Eventually the three of you are snickering like you’re twelve again and looking up porn on the internet - you just wanted to see what all the fuss was about.

“Never mind what I said, Lix,” you say, wiping tears from your eyes. “Ji is definitely the worst at keeping secrets.”

You’re eating too much, you’re drinking too much, you’re laughing too much - but is there such a thing as too much when it comes to those? It’s what parties are all about to you, anyway.

Another thing you’re doing too much is flirting. You’ve always enjoyed it and clearly, so does Changbin, because like other things, you indulge in it a little too much.

There’s really no other way to say it - Changbin and you have been eyefucking each other since you met. Sitting beside one another, or being on opposite sides of the room, it seems like your eyes have constantly drawn to the other’s. At one point you thought he would be the one to take your hand and drag you away from the crowd, but neither of you have made a move yet. There has been some hand brushing, a few suggestive looks, even a seductive eyebrow raise or two. You gather that both of you are enjoying the tension that is rising, the what if that is surely turning into a when, waiting for the right opportunity.

That has made an already wonderful evening even better. The food is delicious, the booze is plentiful, and Daki has barely bothered you so far, too busy glancing at the door, clearly waiting for Hyunjin to show up. She’s made you a few snarky comments but you can’t be bothered by them when Changbin stretches his arms, flexing his biceps a little, his shirt embracing his pectoral muscles. You’d rather focus on that.

Music is playing loudly, people are getting decidedly drunk, midnight is approaching, and you agree to play a game of poker with your cousins, Yuna, Changbin and a few others. Daki joins you seconds before the game starts, sitting next to Changbin. You can guess she’s noticed you and him flirting, and that she will try and get his attention to annoy you. Too predictable, Daki. She’s probably bored because Hyunjin isn’t here yet and she can’t annoy him.

You are right, of course. You haven’t been playing for two minutes and she’s already whispering things in Changbin’s ear. However, the latter isn’t responding to her at all - he even shoots her annoyed glances, which makes you snicker. You try to focus on your own game, but it’s too entertaining to see Changbin repeatedly shooting down her attempts to flirt. When she giggles hysterically, leaning against him, Changbin directly takes her hand and puts it away from him, giving her a look that clearly says leave me alone.

You bite your lip so hard it almost bleeds, trying not to burst out laughing. You’re not petty, but this is almost better than sex.

As you end the first round, Daki finally seems to give up on Changbin. You hope she will just go away, but of course she stays for another round and changes her target - you.

When you make a raise, she laughs mockingly.

“I think Y/N has good cards, guys,” she says. “Look at her face, it’s just so obvious.”

You ignore her, keeping a straight face, but of course that only makes her laugh harder, and she points at you.

“Aw, look, she’s trying to bluff. That’s cute, Y/N, really.”

You keep ignoring her - her words aren’t getting to you. You notice that Changbin, however, is getting angry. He scrunches his nose, tilting his head to the side, as if he’s trying to stop himself from telling her to shut up. You try to smile at him to reassure him, but he’s too busy damning her to hell with his eyes.

As if he wasn’t already so damn attractive.

Daki continues taunting you, inciting the others to ruin your game, but except for those who don’t know you, none of them are having it. The atmosphere is tense. You will thank them later - for the moment, you focus on playing, because you have a plan and it is working perfectly.

It ends up between you and Daki, of course, as you planned. You stare at her as she reveals her cards. A flush.

“Not bad,” you say.

“I’m so good at poker, Y/N, don’t worry!” she laughs.

“Yeah, like, I don’t know,” you say, putting on a fake confused expression as you put down your cards. “Isn’t this better?”

Everyone looks at your cards. You have a flush, too - except it’s a straight one. The tension evaporates as the table erupts in screams and applause, and you finally break into a grin. Felix and Jisung jump on you, making you fall backwards, while Yuna gets a bottle of whisky to pour a few shots. You just get a glimpse at Daki’s defeated face, not giving her your attention. Instead you focus on Changbin’s shining eyes and amused smirk.

You raise your shot glass to him.

Hyunjin arrives not long after, holding the hand of his new girlfriend. She has red hair and the most beautiful smile. As you hug your old friend, you take a look at Daki, who looks like she’s just been slapped. Karma’s a bitch, huh?

You can’t help but snicker. That might be a little petty, but you’ve been drinking and you don’t care. Daki’s hurt your feelings more times than you can count in the past, and you feel like her having a shitty evening barely grazes the idea of payback. Unluckily, she catches you laughing and heads towards you, fists clenched, eyes full of rage.

“What are you laughing at, you fucking bitch?” she spits at you.

You raise your hands. “Woah, calm down, will you?”

“You think I’m pathetic?” she chuckles mockingly. “Have you seen yourself acting like a fucking slut all night? You think that guy’s going to be interested in you? You’re just a skank and everybody knows -”

“What the fuck’s your problem?”

You and Daki turn your heads towards Changbin, who has appeared next to you. His jaw is clenched, and he’s looking down at Daki with disgust.

Daki scoffs. “This is none of your -”

“Leave her alone,” Changbin interrupts in a dry voice.

“I’m not going to -”

“Fuck off.”

His voice is so commanding that Daki pales a little. She straightens her back, shoots you a last malicious look and walks away. You breathe out, shaking your head.

“Fuck,” you sigh. “I thought she was going to hit me for a second there.”

Changbin shakes his head, giving Daki a dirty look.

“You guys have history or something?”

“Yeah,” you sigh. “A long one.”

He gives you a nod, sensing you do not want to talk about it too much. Instead you smile at him, sliding a hand through your hair.

“Thanks for the intervention. I appreciate it. I’m too drunk to be the bigger person, so it would have ended badly.”

He smirks, leaning towards you. You get a whiff of his cologne and it makes you a little dizzy. Fuck, he smells good.

“I have an idea,” he breathes in your ear.

You frown, giving him a questioning look. He raises an eyebrow.

“On how you can pay me back.”

The words send your thoughts reeling. Oh, fuck. Is he finally going to do it? Take your hand and lead you to an empty room to ruin you? You hope so. You so desperately hope so.

Are you a little too horny?

“Yeah?” you ask, your voice a little weak.

“Follow me.”

He takes your hand and guides you through the room. Your heart is pounding, your eyes fixed on the back of his neck. Is this happening? It’s going too fast and not nearly fast enough. Your mouth is dry, your legs weak, and -

Changbin goes to the kitchen. You frown when he stops at the counter, looking at the numerous bottles of strong alcohol that are stored there, carefully choosing one. You’re confused - but clearly, you misread his intentions.

He shows you the bottle of tequila rose, and you chuckle.

“You want me to take a shot?” you suggest.

He grins. “Jisung came to work one morning with the worst hangover I’d ever seen. Said it was the fault of homemade shots with tequila rose in them. Made by you. I don’t know why, it stuck in my head, and I’d like to try one.”

“Oh,” you laugh. “You mean the Hot Lips.”

You don’t miss Changbin glancing at your mouth, looking perfectly satisfied with the turn of events. “Is that what they are called?”

“It is,” you answer, taking the bottle from his hands. “Give me that. You’re not ready for this. Your liver will hate you tomorrow.”

“Can’t wait.”

You get busy gathering the ingredients while Changbin gets the shot glasses, and you talk about that infamous night with your cousins. You, Felix and Jisung had gotten so ridiculously drunk on your shots you had gone outside in the freezing winter to build a snowman at three in the morning wearing no shoes. You were horribly sick for nearly a week after that.

Changbin stays close to you as you pour the right ounces of the ingredients. Tequila rose. Grenadine. Soda. A little vodka. A little whisky. And a little surprise of your own.

“Just a little bit of lemon to soften the sweetness,” you whisper to Changbin, giving him a wink. “Don’t tell anyone.”

He’s standing so close to you you can feel his breathing in your hair.

“I wouldn’t dare.”

You turn to face him, keeping your eyes in his. You hand him his shot, filled to the brim, and take yours.

“See you on the other side,” you tell him.

You cheer and take the shot. The taste is almost overwhelming in your throat, and you let out a sharp woo. Glancing at Changbin, you realize he’s closed his eyes. He shakes his head and groans.

“Damn, fuck, that is strong,” he laughs.

You bite your lip, trying not to laugh too much, but his eyes are glimmering with mischief. He puts down the shot glass, licking his lips slowly. His eyes find yours again, and he takes another step towards you. You’re just drunk enough for your inhibitions to have disappeared. Changbin smells good. Changbin looks good.

“Delicious, though,” he states, staring at you intently. “Just the right amount of sweet. Just the right amount of rough.”

You swallow, mouth parted. You’re not even sure what he is talking about, at this point.

“I can see why it’s addictive,” he smirks. “Can I have another?”

“As many as you want, baby.”

The nickname escapes your lips but he doesn’t seem to mind it. On the contrary, his smirk deepens and you feel the warmth pooling between your legs. You must already be soaked at this point. Fuck, there’s no one in the room. What if I sucked his dick in the kitchen? Would he like that?

You chuckle to yourself, and Changbin looks at you questioningly.

“I was just thinking about sucking your dick,” you say.

Changbin remains silent, and you realize that you’ve actually said this. Out loud.

You gasp, your eyes wide. You stammer. “Holy fuck, I’m sorry. Shit, I’m sorry, I don’t know why I said that, it just -”

“Why don’t you?” he interrupts, his voice low and husky, placing his fingers underneath your chin to lift your head. You meet his gaze, dark and lustful. “I wouldn’t mind you sucking my dick right now. I bet you’d look even more sweet with your mouth full.”

You gulp, feeling your walls clench at the sound of his words. Fuck, you need this man to ruin you right now. You’re dizzy with arousal, and he gently takes your hand, guides it on his crotch. He places your palm around his hardening cock, and you can’t hold back a whimper.

“You’re not going to leave me with this unattended, are you, baby?”

Instinctively, your hand squeezes his cock, and you smile.

“I wouldn’t dare.”

Outside the kitchen you hear people bursting into laughter. The risk of someone walking in is so dangerously high it makes you dizzy, but you’re a little too drunk to care. And honestly, it makes the whole situation even better.

Keeping your eyes in his, you unzip his pants, taking out his cock. It’s decidedly hard now, which makes you very happy. You kneel on the cold floor, looking up at Changbin. Slowly, keeping your eyes in his, you lick the length of his cock, smearing your saliva on it so you can lazily stroke it. He pushes the hair out of your face, biting his lower lip.

“You look fucking good like that, Y/N,” he growls. “I fucking love that dress, by the way. Made me want to snuggle my dick between your tits all night.”

You chuckle, kissing the tip of his cock. “Who knows, if you’re nice to me, your dream might come true.”

“Nice?” he laughs. “I’m not sure I know how to do nice. But I can certainly fuck your brains out.”

“Sounds nice enough to me.”

You guide his cock in your mouth, slowly taking it as deep as you can. Changbin breathes out, holding your hair. You start to bob your head up and down his length, swirling your tongue at the same time.

“Good, that’s good,” he whispers. “Fucking good.”

Encouraged by his praise, you accelerate your movements, and Changbin thrusts his hips sharply. Surprised, you gag a little, taking a deep breath.

“Hm,” he chuckles. “Let’s try it again, huh? I know you can do better.”

It’s like he knows exactly what to tell you - you can do better, and you want to prove it to him. So you take him in your mouth again, taking your hand off his base, and make sure you almost reach his pelvis. Changbin breathes a guttural growl, pushing your head against the kitchen island, trapping you there.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck, yes.”

He fucks your mouth and you feel your eyes tear up, but you adore the sounds he makes, the way his face scrunches as he throbs in your mouth. When he pulls back after a few seconds to let you breathe, you give him a broad smile.

“This is so fucking hot,” you chuckle.

Changbin smiles, grazing your cheek with his thumb. “You like this, Y/N?” You like the way he says your name, like he’s still learning it, tasting it on his tongue. “Well, maybe you are a slut, huh?”

“For you, definitely,” you tell him.

“That’s the attitude,” he grins. “Keep sucking, my little slut.”

You go back to it. As you moan around his length, the kitchen door opens, and Changbin quickly pulls himself out of your mouth. Luckily, from where you are behind the kitchen island, you are not visible from the entrance of the kitchen, and the island is high enough to prevent the person from seeing what is exactly happening.

“Oh, Changbin,” the person says, and you realize it’s Felix.

Fuck, fuck, fuck.

“Have you seen Y/N?” your cousin asks, his voice slurry. “It’s going to be midnight soon, and we always celebrate together, and…”

He rambles on, clearly drunker than you. That might help prevent him from suspecting anything, you tell yourself. Still, you bite your lip hard, trying not to move or breathe too loud.

“I haven’t, sorry,” Changbin says. “Just fixing myself a drink. Maybe she went to get some air outside?”

Felix gasps. “Oh, right. Good idea.”

For a second you think Felix might have gone, but Changbin remains immobile, and when you look up he’s giving your cousin a broad smile.

“You need help with something?” Felix offers.

“Nope,” Changbin quickly replies. “All good.”

“Cool,” Felix says. “I’ll check outside, thanks, Changbin.”

You see him wave, and the kitchen door closes behind your cousin. You breathe out, and you look at each other for a second before starting to laugh.

“Fuck, that would’ve been awkward,” you say.

“He’s so drunk I bet he wouldn’t have noticed,” Changbin replies, stroking your hair. “You still good to go?”

You smile. “Fuck, yeah.”

“Oh, you like that, don’t you? The risk of being walked on. I can see it in your eyes.”

You don’t deny it - instead, you take his cock and slap it against your tongue. Changbin throws his head backwards and guides himself back in your mouth. It fits back easily, and you secure your hands on his thighs.

“How does my cock fit in your mouth so well?” he breathes. “My good little slut.”

You let him fuck your mouth, feeling his thrusts getting a little more restless, and from the way he grips your hair, you know he is close.

“I’m gonna come,” he grunts. “Look at me, Y/N.”

When your eyes flutter up to meet his, Changbin lets out a shaky breath. You hold his penetrative gaze as he buck his hips and empties himself in your mouth. He manages not to make too much noise, clenching his jaw, and when he relaxes, you take his cock in your hands and proceed to lick him clean. You trace his length, lick your lips, and he twitches a little, coming down from his orgasm.

“Did my little slut swallow everything?” he asks hoarsely.

You nod, showing him your tongue. He chuckles, putting his cock back in his pants. You look at his face, smiling, and he brings you up to your feet.

“Let’s fix you up.”

He proceeds to put your hair back in order, taking a napkin to wipe the corners of your mouth and the mascara that dripped down your cheeks a little. Meanwhile you just take the opportunity to look at him. When he’s done, he eyes you up and down, and you pout.

“What about me?”

“What about you, sweet thing?”

“I want to come in your mouth, too.”

Changbin smiles, and you take his hand to guide it under your dress. You open his palm so he cups your soaked underwear. The contact already makes you moan, and you roll your hips against his hand.

“I’m so fucking wet, Changbin…”

He parts his mouth at the same time the kitchen door opens again. You twirl around, Changbin’s hand escaping the throbbing space between your legs. It’s Felix again.

“I didn’t find her, so I -”

Your cousin stops, staring at you, blinking, visibly confused.

“I found her,” Changbin smiles.

You grin at your cousin, who finally breaks into a smile and walks up to you, oblivious, rambling about the fact that it’s almost midnight and you almost missed it. You can feel it - you’ve been lucky not to get caught during the blowjob, and you can’t push it. Your drenched, aching cunt will have to wait.

“THREE, TWO, ONE… HAPPY NEW YEAR!”

As per tradition, you, Felix and Jisung grab each other’s shoulders and start to turn in a circle. It’s something you’ve created when you were kids. You call it your manifesting circle, invoking good energy for the rest of the year. It’s bullshit, but you couldn’t see yourself not doing it every New Year’s.

Felix smooches you on the cheek, Jisung runs away to find Yuna, and you feel someone tapping your shoulder. You turn to find Changbin standing behind you, a smirk on his lips. He takes your chin in his hand and guides your head upwards, kissing you deeply. Felix yells happily in your ear, but you barely hear him, drunk on the booze, drunk on Changbin’s tongue playing with yours. You wrap your arms around his neck, making out with him for what seems like hours, until you’re out of breath, until you can barely stand straight.

When you look at him afterwards, his eyes are shining, and his smile steals your heart.

“Happy New Year,” he whispers.

The only thing reminding you that what happened with Changbin is real is that your mouth and throat feel a little sore - but other than that, you might have thought it was some kind of vivid, waking dream.

You want to keep talking to him, but Felix really wants to dance with you and you can never say no to him, so Changbin just decides to do it with the two of you. You giggle excitedly as he rolls his hips seductively, and you and Felix show him a choreography that you created when you were kids. Changbin laughs so hard he holds his sides.

When the three of you get too tired, Felix joins a board game and Changbin sits down on the couch next to you, his arm around your shoulder, not caring in the slightest at what people might say. You snuggle against him as you talk to Hyunjin, who wanted to talk to you about Daki. She has gone home, apparently. You feel bad for her, but not really. It never brings any good to be mean with no reason, Hyunjin tells you.

You and Changbin keep close to each other, exchanging knowing smiles. His hand is resting on your thigh, and your head is leaning on his shoulder. You’re a little impatient for more, but it’s also thrilling. You want to kiss him. You want to know how his tongue feels against yours. How he would use his lips on your pussy. How his cock would feel inside you. You want to hear him groan again.

Although he’s softer outside of sex, you’re not surprised by his dominating personality, and you find yourself craving it. It’s not always a kink of yours, but with the right person, it can reduce you to a trembling mess, which is exactly what you want to become in Changbin’s arms. There’s just something about him.

So you slowly and discreetly pull on your dress so it falls higher on your thighs. Changbin’s eyes drop on them, and he slides his hand higher. You repeat the same game two more times, stopping before it gets downright inappropriate. Eventually you can’t focus on anything else, so you stand up and say you’re going to the bathroom.

You’re hoping Changbin gets the hint. You don’t care much anymore - everyone is either too drunk or busy to notice, and you’ve seen people disappearing for a while inside rooms. Why not you? It’s the new year, open to all opportunities, and you’re not going to waste this one.

You walk up the stairs, glancing back at Changbin who is staring at you, biting his lip. You just smile back, and you walk very slowly upstairs. You’re almost there when you hear footsteps behind you, and you barely have time to twirl on your feet that Changbin grabs your wrist and pulls you inside the bathroom. He slams you against the door, his eyes drilling into yours.

“I think you might be having an issue with your dress,” he smiles.

“Do I?” you ask innocently. “Maybe you should help me with it.”

He chuckles, spinning you around. Your palms rest against the door, your ass facing him. Changbin hikes up your dress slowly, revealing your panties. He groans and slaps your ass, kneading the skin.

“My little slut,” he breathes. “Already can’t get enough of me, huh?”

“I can’t focus on anything,” you admit with a chuckle. “I need you, Changbin, please…”

You breathe heavily as he brushes a finger against the fabric of your panties, over your clit and your entrance. You are soaked.

“Fuck, please touch me…”

He slaps your ass again, drawing a sharp breath from your mouth.

“You want to show me your pretty pussy?” he breathes in your ear.

“Yes.”

“You want my fingers or my tongue?”

“T-tongue.”

He chuckles, taking a step back, and you glance above your shoulder to see him kneel behind you. He grins at you, pulling down your panties.

“Arch that cute ass for me, will you?”

You do, and he hums appreciatively, spreading your legs to get better access. He starts by coating your pussy with his fingers, licking your juices off them, and then his tongue flicks you.

“Fuck,” you moan, twitching a little.

“You taste so good, baby,” he sighs. “I’m going to make you come so hard your legs won’t be able to hold you up.”

You breathe out, aching for more of his touch, and fortunately Changbin obliges. His mouth comes to rest against your throbbing cunt, and he starts to eat you out hungrily. His tongue swirls against you, presses against your clit, teases your entrance. Changbin holds your thighs apart, massaging your skin, and as you whimper and pant against his caresses, his thumb circles your folds.

“Don’t fucking stop,” you cry out, feeling your orgasm building quickly.

He doesn’t, only smiles against your pussy, and it’s the best feeling in the world. He kisses you, rolling his tongue on your wetness, and you only wish you could see him there, buried between your legs, his mouth and chin coated in you.

You push your fingers against the door, biting your lip as your orgasm suddenly flashes through you. A cry escapes your mouth, your entire body shaking against Changbin who does not stop and even accelerates, guiding you through. When your muscles untense, you feel your legs give in, but Changbin quickly sits up to hold you up by the waist, pulling you to him with a chuckle.

“What did I say, huh?”

He groans in your ear, and you feel his hard cock against your ass.

“I need to fuck that tight little cunt of yours. Just like it is now. Still throbbing, all drenched and ready for me.”

“Do it, Changbin,” you nod, still hazy from your orgasm. “P-please.”

He quickly undoes his belt and frees his cock, and brushes it against your still sensitive folds. You moan, Changbin breathing hard against your neck.

“Ready, baby?”

You nod, and he enters you slowly, leaving you time to adjust to him. He feels big and thick, but you’re so wet he slides in easily, not stopping until he is deep inside of you. Once he’s there, you both breathe out, chuckling in delight.

“That’s where my cock belongs,” Changbin growls. “You good?”

“Fuck, yes,” you sigh.

You roll your ass against him, and Changbin takes it as an invitation to start moving. He draws his hips away from you only to thrust sharply, fucking you hard. Soon he’s pounding into you, and you’re moaning, and he’s holding your waist and burying himself inside of you like he’s going mad.

Neither of you are going to last long, you can feel it. The teasing has been enough, and deep down you know this won’t be your last time fucking.

“I want to fucking come inside of you,” he breathes. “Will you let me, little slut? Take my cum deep, keep it in you?”

“Yes,” you breathe. “Give it to me. Fuck, I’m gonna come again.”

He’s rubbing against the right spots and you’re rolling your eyes in your head. As your second orgasm flashes through you, you clench around Changbin and he lets out a low groan. You feel his cock twitch and then spurt inside of you, warm and heavy.

He fucks you until you both ride out your orgasms, breathing heavily, his body laying against yours. Once your breathing steadies, Changbin removes himself from inside of you, and you feel his cum, mixed with your own, sliding down your inner thigh.

You fall into his arms, letting out a long, shaky sigh.

“Fuck… That was so good,” you breathe with a laugh. “You are so good at this, what the fuck?”

“Right back at you,” he chuckles, pushing your hair away from your face before giving you a long kiss. “Let’s clean you up. We still have a party to attend.”

Felix is trying to explain a board game to you. He’s the worst at it. You really should just read the instruction manual, but you like hearing his voice, so you let him do it. Eventually, though, he just gives up. It’s way too late and you’re both too drunk to play such a complicated game, anyway. Instead Felix relaxes on the couch, and you lean against him.

You talk about food, about family, about work - and then Felix catches you looking over at Changbin, who is clearly winning a game of beer pong not too far.

“So, Changbin?” he asks, grinning. “Anything happened between you?”

You smirk, and Felix breaks into giggles.

“Tell me, tell me,” he begs.

“A lady doesn’t tell,” you reply, poking his chest.

Felix scoffs. “You, a lady? Please. I’m more of a lady than you.”

“True,” you laugh. “Well… Yeah, something might’ve happened.”

“Oh, that smile,” he says. “You really like him, huh?”

You nod.

Felix wiggles his eyebrows. “Why not go spend more time with him?”

“Maybe later,” you smile. “For now I like spending time with my favorite cousin.”

“Tssssk,” Felix chuckles. “I don’t believe you. You say that, but I know you tell Ji the same.”

“Well Ji is clearly busy somewhere else, so it’s you I get to annoy.”

You start to tickle him, and Felix gets distracted into another conversation topic, and you lose track of time, soothed by the sound of your cousin breathing, the music, the conversation around you.

It feels like seconds later when you open your eyes, realizing you’ve been dozing off on Felix’s shoulder. Your cousin is deep asleep next to you, cuddling the plush mushroom he got from the gift exchange. He’s not the only one - a lot of people have gone to their rooms, the music is softer, and the place is a reassuring mess, with plates and glasses and pieces of wrapping paper everywhere.

Near the fireplace, Hyunjin is stroking his girlfriend’s hair, lovingly whispering things in her ear. You stand up on shaky legs, looking around for Changbin. He’s sitting in a corner with another guy, playing a quiet game of cards. You catch his gaze, and he smirks, waving at you to come. You drag your feet towards him, settling down on his leg. You nestle your head in the crook of his neck, and Changbin chuckles.

You’re good there. You doze off a little again, and open your eyes when you hear Changbin’s friend say he’s going to sleep. You expect him to get up and walk upstairs, but instead he draws his hoodie on his head, leans against the wall and closes his eyes. You giggle, turning your face towards Changbin.

“You want to go to bed?” he whispers.

“Hm,” you nod.

“Let’s go.”

He takes your hand gently and you follow him upstairs. The first room is locked, another is already packed. The last one you find has two other people in it, so you head back downstairs and decide to nestle in an unoccupied corner of the living room. Changbin finds two blankets, laying one down on the floor, and another on your bodies. You snuggle against him, his arm enveloping you. You feel his breath in your neck.

The living room is silent. All you can hear is the hushed whispers of Hyunjin and his girlfriend - but even those stop after a few minutes. The fire is nearly extinguished, the living room plunged in darkness. You feel warm and safe in Changbin’s arms - but you can’t bring yourself to sleep. All you can think about is how nice his body feels, how wet you are - and how you feel his cock hardening against your ass.

“What are you thinking about?” you whisper.

He lets out a breath. “Are you still wet?”

His low voice in your ear makes you shiver. You nod.

“Good,” he answers.

His hand slips on your waist, feeling the fabric of your dress. You breathe out, closing your eyes to enjoy the sensation. His fingers go further up, cupping your breasts, teasing your nipples. You arch your back, pushing your ass against his crotch. Changbin starts to breathe heavily in your neck, sending strands of your hair dancing.

You don’t even care that you’re in the middle of a room filled with people. You just want to feel him. Besides, nobody is paying attention to you. The room is dark, and you’re protected by the blanket.

Changbin’s hand pushes up your dress, removes your panties. When his fingers finally find your still soaked cunt, you softly whimper.

“Fuck, you’re so warm,” Changbin breathes. “Can you be a good girl and be silent, baby?”

You nod again.

“Just don’t stop touching me,” you tell him.

He smiles against the back of your neck, planting a kiss there. You open your legs a little, facilitating his access. Changbin takes two fingers and pushes them on your swollen clit, tracing wide circles, exerting just the right amount of pressure. You shudder, biting your lip to keep from moaning aloud.

But you keep breathing, holding it back to enjoy Changbin’s caresses. His fingers relieve the ache of your folds, and then he teases your entrance. When he plunges into you, caressing your inner walls, you have to grab his sweater behind you, anything to keep yourself from moaning his name. He starts to finger you, relentlessly. It feels so fucking good.

“Is that good, Y/N? Do you love my fingers deep inside your cunt?”

“Yes, Changbin, fuck…”

“I can’t wait to replace them with my cock.”

You clench around his fingers, and he must feel it, because he chuckles.

“Do you want that, huh? Do you want me to fuck you in the middle of a crowded room?”

“I want you to fuck me, Changbin, please… Fuck, I’m gonna come -”

He removes his fingers in a sweep, leaving you gasping. Changbin pushes a hand against your mouth, muffling the sound.

“Can’t have you waking everyone up, baby,” he whispers in your ear.

You feel him pull down his pants, the tip of his cock brushing your cunt, and you breathe against his fingers. He holds them there, pushing himself inside of you, stretching you. He feels big, he feels good, already familiar - and you fall back against his body. His chest feels firm, his arms big and strong. Although there’s not much space for maneuver under the blanket, Changbin still manages to buck his hips, filling you deep. His thrusts are slow and powerful, making your body shake, and the rest of the world becomes a blur.

“Shhhh,” he breathes in your ear. “Do you want them to know I’m fucking you?”

You can’t help but whimper a little against his palm as he fucks you deeper, slamming his hips into you, and then you’re coming, writhing in his arms. Changbin growls in your ear, fucking you even faster, and then you feel him come inside of you. You are still trembling, slowly coming down your high, and Changbin removes his hand.

He sighs, and you let out a chuckle, turning to face him.

“Do you think anybody noticed?” you whisper, and he smiles.

“I don’t really care.”

You smile back, rubbing your nose on his jaw, his neck. Your eyes are heavy, and you feel yourself drifting off.

“Y/N?” he asks in your ear.

“Hm?”

“Will you go on a date with me next week?”

You open your eyes just enough to see him look at you. You kiss him, gently, and put your hand against his chest.

“I thought you’d never ask.”

• permanent taglist: @ughbehavior ; @upallnight-s ; @changbinluvr ; @rosexjimin ; @nasiaisan ; @lotus-dly ; @cb97percent ; @j-0ne25 ; @hwan-g ; @jhopesucker ; @tanyas97 ; @raspbinniecreme ; @septicrebel ; @imtoooyoungforthisshit ; @sikebishes ; @sai-kida134 ; @sstarryoong ❤️ (let me know if you want to be added/removed)

#changbin x reader #changbin x you #changbin x y/n #changbin smut #seo changbin x y/n #seo changbin x you #seo changbin x reader #seo changbin smut #skz smut #skz x reader #skz x you #skz x y/n #stray kids smut #stray kids x you #stray kids x y/n #stray kids x reader

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hebimoonlightwrites · 1 year

Note

Hey, sorry for the abrupt request, and this rq contains suicidal topics so please don’t write about it if you aren’t comfortable.

I would like to request Ichiro, Sasara, and Ramuda and how they would live w/ their suicidal fem s/o. I would also like to see their reaction when their s/o had actually died to suicide(they would probably witness it firsthand, like for example if their s/o chose to hang herself or jump off from the roof of their shared apartment yk, the type is your choice, although hanging and jumping would be a bit more realistic), and how they would process the pain and how they would react to a suicide note left by their s/o that was dedicated to them.

Sorry for the weird request, I just want to support my favorite author before I go. :)

-anon

Writer's corner: Of course it's a very delicate topic, and please, anon, tell me you're okay and that you really didn't think about this kind of thing seriously! I don't know you, but I'm sure you're a valuable and loving person! I know life can be a slut, but you cannot really let it win over you just like this! If you need to talk- even simply to cope, to talk about your pain- do it! You can text me as well if it can make you feel good enough! I'm glad you support me and my writings, but always remember that life and well-being is the priority! I can write about it, if it can make you feel better, but please, be safe and okay. I would never forget myself if something bad happened to you! So, please, don't hesitate to text me if you need to cope! And please don't keep all the pain inside!♥ You can find me here if you need anything, darling♥

mc's pronouns: SHE/HER

Warnings: Suicide, suicidal topics and sadness!! (please, read respectfully towards all the people who're living this kind of pain and, if you can, help them and remind them that they're worth it each day!♥)

⭐𝐈𝐜𝐡𝐢𝐫𝐨, 𝐒𝐚𝐬𝐚𝐫𝐚, 𝐑𝐚𝐦𝐮𝐝𝐚⭐𝐡𝐨𝐰 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐲 𝐰𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐥𝐢𝐯𝐞 𝐰/ 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐢𝐫 𝐬𝐮𝐢𝐜𝐢𝐝𝐚𝐥 𝐟𝐞𝐦 𝐬/𝐨

⭐I think we all agree to the fact that Ichiro would be one of the best partner ever!

⭐In general he would be so precious and caring towards his love..

⭐So I'm sure he would be even more caring towards his suicidal girlfriend!

⭐He would do his best to comfort her and to remind her that she's worth it and a valuable woman!

⭐I can totally see Ichiro being worried and trying his best to spend as long as he can with his girlfriend, maybe playing video-games or reading mangas/light novels together!

⭐Ichiro would be the one managing to snap her out of her thoughts and back to reality especially when she tried to space out, overthinking while her eyes got empty

⭐He would try to get her attention hugging her and smiling warmly:

⭐"My sweet love.. how are you? Is everything okay?.. I'm here with you.."

⭐I can't help but imagine Ichiro being at the Odd Jobs Yamada and got the feeling that something is happening to mc after reading one of her message

⭐He would be surprised and worried for her and would let Saburo and Jiro working:

⭐"Jiro, Saburo..! Take care of everything for a few minutes.. I have... a strange foreboding..!"

⭐He then would start walking out of the workplace, heading back to the apartment he shares with his brothers and with mc too

⭐Ichiro would run, probably he wouldn't even understand why, but his body would suggest him to run to the apartment!

⭐He would feel his heart starting beating faster and his breath getting heavier step by step

⭐In his mind he would think: "Please.. be okay! Please..!"

⭐As he arrived to the apartment, he would hear something strange from the inside: a strange and slight creaky sound while the kitchen would be dark with lights off

⭐Ichiro would open the entrance door and got inside, turning the lights on, only to see an horrible scene in front of his eyes: his precious mc hanging, her dead body hanging there with her arms down and her messy hair, an empty expression on her face and her eyes almost popped out..

⭐Ichiro's first reaction would be a dramatic scream, followed by his attempts to save mc, finding something to cut the rope and then getting her between his arms.

⭐He would immediately call an ambulance, hoping that mc is not dead but then he would cry a lot, caressing her face while holding her close.

⭐Then his hands would tremble in front of a letter she would have written for him before killing herself:

⭐"Thank you for teaching me how to love, Ichiro.. I've loved you and I will love you even after... Forgive me, but I can't go on.. I'm fed up... Good bye, my love.. Forever yours,~Mc♥"

⭐Sasara would do his best to cheer mc up and to make her happy each day!

⭐Even in the morning, as they get up, Sasara would start the day by saying a stupid joke just to make mc laugh

⭐"Mc! What do you call a fake noodle? An.. impasta!!"

⭐He would be that caring and lovingly partner, admiring mc's laughter and chuckle, blushing each time he could make her smile even slightly

⭐I'm sure he would also be more present around her, especially when she's not happy

⭐If Sasara had a suicidal mc, well.. he would make sure to be helpful to her!

⭐He'd be even clingy, if necessary! Only to make her understand how much he loves her and to comfort her!

⭐I cannot hide the fact that I imagine him on the stage when he would see mc crying but smiling warmly under the stage.

⭐Then mc would stand up and waving at him, still crying but smiling, before leaving the place

⭐While Sasara is still performing, he would get the indirect message from mc and would immediately run off the stage

⭐All the audience would be surprised, as well as Sasara's managers and other people there

⭐If his performance had trasmitted on TV as well, well.. all the people watching TV would be surprised too and concerned.

⭐Sasara would start running, chasing after mc, but I think he would get home first

⭐He would enter the apartment he shares with her only to find a small piece of paper on the table:

⭐"Thank you for teaching me how to be happy, Sasara.. I've loved you and I will love you even after... Forgive me, but I can't go on.. I'm fed up... Good bye, my love.. Forever yours,~Mc♥"

⭐"No, mc!! No!! Don't do these foolish things!!"

⭐Sasara would then take off his jacket, throwing it on the couch, and leave the apartment again, running as fast as he can

⭐Some tears would start to form on his eyes, which he would open wide in fear, his green short hair would follow the wind while he would try his best to reach the place as fast as he can

⭐Because I think he would understand and realize what place she is in after reading the letter

⭐He would get to the hospital, looking up at the roof and seeing mc without her shoes, looking down. A crowd worried and looking up at her

⭐He would try to make room through the people only to scream: "Mc!! Mc, please!! Don't do it!! Don't do it! I love you!! Don't do it!!"

⭐His expression would be full of despair for the first time in his entire life as a comedian. He would see her face, her beautiful face lightened up in a gorgeous smile.. A smile he would never forget about.

⭐Those curled up lips mimicing: "I love you, forgive me", before the tragedy.. her jump off the building.

⭐"Noooo!!! Mc!!!! Nooo!!!!"

⭐It's quite useless to say that Sasara would stop performing for a while, due to the pain inside his chest.

⭐I feel like he wouldn't come back performing sooner! But, after coming back (if he came back), he would see mc among the audience, sitting on her usual seat in the first row...

⭐A small tear would fall down his cheek as her figure- that thing like a memory or a ghost- disappears.

⭐Ramuda is also quite struggling with emotions, so I can see him being very understanding with a suicidal mc

⭐He would get his own bubbly personality each time he sees mc needing some help or to cheer her up

⭐Ramuda would run to her and hug her from behind, being clingy to her shoulder if she's taller or wrapping his arms around her waist if she's smaller or as small as him

⭐"Hehe~ Surprise!~ Did I startle you? Uhmm... I'm sorry~.. Did you miss me?~♥"

⭐Ramuda would cuddle his sweet mc even by creating some cute clothes to her, complimenting her and caressing her face just not to let her space out

⭐He would chuckle and poke her cheeks while saying: "No space-outs when you're with me~ hehe~♥"

⭐And I can't help but imagine Ramuda being in his shop, serving customers, as Gentaro would enter the shop running:

⭐"Ramuda!.. Dice saw mc running to the old building with a rope!.."

⭐At those words all the customers would get surprise and gasp scared while Ramuda's usually sunny eyes would become frightened.

⭐He would immediately run out of the shop, ignoring all the girls who would call for him, fangirling in Shibuya's streets.

⭐Of course Gentaro would follow Ramuda, while calling Dice on his phone, asking where mc is

⭐But Ramuda wouldn't listen to Gentaro nor to Dice, since his thoughts would be focused on mc and only on her

⭐His breath would get heavier and his heart would start pounding like never before

⭐Some tears would start forming in his blue eyes, even if he's not totally certain about what mc is going to do

⭐Once arrived, though, his eyes would open wide in terror as he would see mc hanging, her arms down and her body slowly dangling. Her eyes empty and without a single trace of life.

⭐"Nooo!!! Mc!!!! Mc, my love!!! Mc!!! Don't leave meee!!!"

⭐Ramuda would be held by Gentaro and Dice but he would also try to get closer to mc

⭐"Let me go!!! I wanna hug her!!! I wanna kiss her!! I... I... MC, WHY DID YOU DO IT?? WHYYY???!!!"

⭐His voice would echo in the empty place, just like a small drop of her blood coming from her throat.

⭐After coming back to his shop/home, Ramuda would receive something from the police, that would have examing the case: a letter

⭐"Thank you for teaching me how to be care for people I love, Ramuda.. I've loved you and I will love you even after... Forgive me, but I can't go on.. I'm fed up... Good bye, my love.. Forever yours,~Mc♥"

⭐The only sound perceptible would be Ramuda's scream in the dark of his shop, echoing in the dark of Shibuya's streets as well:

⭐"MC!! WHYY!!.."

©hebimoonlightwrites_tumblr Please, do not copy my contents nor repost it without my permission.

#hypnosis microphone #hypnosis mic #hypmic #hypmic buster bros #buster bros #hypmic ichiro #ichiro yamada #hypmic dotsuitare hompo #hypmic sasara #sasara nurude #hypmic fling posse #fling posse #hypmic ramuda #ramuda amemura #hypmic headcanons #hypmic headcanon

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too-much-otome · 2 years

Text

Napoleon Birth Chart Analysis

Some notes before we start. There are no rising signs or houses bc of unknown times of birth. This doesn't affect any of the other placements, except the moon. Most moon placements are definite but some have two possibilities. I've picked whichever sign was more active that day if there were two options. Also, you may notice that node, Chiron, and Lilith are included in the chart but i won't be including them in analysis as they are less common and not as present. All the data for birth charts was gathered using Astro Seek. Please enjoy!

⚠️🚨SPOILER WARNING 🚨⚠️

Born: Aug 15, 1769 in Ajaccio, France

(Self, Individuality, Personality)

Sun in Leo ♌

Leo is a perfect fit for Napoleon. Even the description fits him so well. Leo sun's are described as having healthy self-esteem and natural authority. They have the power to dominate and control others, but they are generous and friendly. They usually do not have any doubts about themselves, because they believe in their work and moral qualities. They are proud people who respect the pride of their fellow citizens. Knightliness and tact are their innate characteristics. I think it describes Napoleon almost perfectly. We all know he was the emperor of France so being a natural leader is very obvious and makes sense for him. We see it in the game too.

There are times in multiple routes where he takes charge of situations. Like when his students father was murdered, he immediately started assigning tasks to each of the other residents and no one objected. There's something about him too that makes it seem like he's somewhat in charge. Obviously we know Comte is in charge of the mansion but Napoleon seems almost like a second in command.

We see his knightliness I'm the game a lot as well. He will try to help and protect others. In his route we know he doesn't necessarily want to kill but he's used to it and isn't scared to take more lives if needed. After falling in love with mc he retakes a vow to protect them.

Of course, Leo's are said to be unbeatable diplomats and politicians. Which is exactly what Napoleon was.

Moon in Capricorn ♑

(Emotions, Instincts, Roots)

This is where signs might be harder to see or understand. Both because they get more in depth and personal and because obviously IkeVamp Napoleon isn't an exact copy of the real one and game devs don't take astrology into account. But i think a Capricorn moon is a good fit here. It's described as finding safety in being useful to society and looking for justification from the outside world.

They need to trust their inner values, otherwise they may succumb to external pressures. The need to cope with adverse reality since childhood, may give them the ability to "survive" difficult periods. Their talent for business may bring them success, but they may be missing some carefreeness.

After going through Napoleon's route i think it's good. Thinking about it, we see a lot of what was described, mostly in scenes where he is talking about his past, before becoming a vampire. He mentions not getting much sleep because of pressure, he talks about wanting to fight to keep his family safe, he's had to watch his comrades die in front of him which is certainly a "difficult period".

Mercury in Leo ♌

(Communication, Intellect, Thinking, Learning)

Napoleon's Mercury is in Leo as well. At first it doesn't seem right but i can see it. People with Leo Mercury are proud of their Intellect and abilities. Their mind is closely connected with their heart. There is originally, passion, and strength in their speech. Thinking to how Napoleon speaks in the game i agree! The way he speaks is always full of confidence and passion! However they are also insecure, bit good at hiding it. Napoleon isn't necessarily great at hiding his insecurities but he's not outward about them either. However, Mercury is how the mind works and how we communicate. I think the insecurities definitely come out in how he thinks and speaks. Just small specks here and there in his thoughts and dialogue. Hints of him not being happy with himself, feeling unworthy, guilty. His past weighs heavily on his shoulders and it's where most of his insecurities Arise.

Venus in Cancer ♋

(Love, Sensuality, Harmony, Pleasure)

This is certainly an interesting one. As a Cancer sun, I'm usually good at knowing what it means in each placement right away. So Napoleon being a Cancer Venus....was shocking. It's definitely not very present in the game if at all. But perhaps it can be looked at as Napoleon needing a secure and sweet relationship, in contrast to his experience being a leader and a soldier. This might lead to him showing his love in a softer way by default. Most people show love in ways they wish to receive love, even if they don't realize.

Mars in Virgo ♍

(Activity, Energy, Courage, Assertiveness)

Virgo is a hard working sign. Which is to be expected from earth signs . Virgo in Mars can make someone a bit demanding. Virgos hold themselves to a high standard. So they have high expectations for not only themselves but others too. Their work is very precise and admirable, but sometimes they forget they cannot do the impossible. Mars in Virgo gives people ambition and intelligence. I definitely agree on this. When most people think of Mars, they think about how people express their anger. But it's not just that. It's how people do things and how they go about tasks. Things like school work or practicing a skill. Napoleon is a very hard worker and is dedicated. Seeing as how earth signs are the most present in his chart, this is no surprise. He definitely holds himself to high expectations and he tries to take tasks that may not be easy.

Jupiter in Scorpio ♏

(Happiness, Optimism, Expansion)

Jupiter placements are sometimes hard to understand. But there was a quote used to describe Scorpio Jupiter that i think makes it good for Napoleon. "There is no profit without hardship" i think it suits him very well. He is hesitant to accept being happy and at peace. He thinks he has to somehow redeem himself or make up for his past in many ways before he can truly be happy.

Saturn in Cancer ♋

(Restriction, Order, Maturity, Time)

Saturn is another placement that is a bit tough. Saturn is strict. It uses pain to catch people's attention and show them what they need to improve or focus on. Cancer is almost the exact opposite. Cancer is a caring, gentle, nurturing, and emotional sign. So a Cancer in Saturn is all the more difficult to understand. It's expected that these two will Clash but on the contrary, they both find ways to show. Saturn denies the feelings Cancer brings until these people find out what they really feel and want. In order to be truly aware of these feelings, they occasionally have to be forced to feel without support and cut off from their compassion and sentiment. Which makes me think of how war, battle, and leadership shaped his character in the game. Clearly they matured a lot in those times. He probably had to cut off his emotions to get through it all until finally he was able to get past it in his extended life as a vampire. And now, he shows the cancer side of things in how he teaches children and urges them not to take the same path of destruction. He cares for Jean when he denies himself blood. He understands Jean's reasoning and sympathizes with him but also understands that he needs blood and he urges him to take care of himself. He shows maturity in caring ways and helping others. There are still moments when he discards those tendencies and Saturn takes over the Cancer placement, but overall Cancer is what shows.

Uranus in Taurus ♉

(Originality, Freedom, Revolution)

Oooh boy! You know with words like freedom and Revolution involved, This is definitely gonna be important for Napoleon's character! And the description for Taurus Uranus, definitely holds it up. These people may experience great and sudden changes in the area of finance and property. These people usually introduce many new practices in agriculture and real estate. They try to break free from traditional conservatism of this sign and they long for changes in traditional values. To me, that has french revolution written all over it. If you didn't know, Uranus, Neptune, and Pluto are very slow moving planets. They stay in placements for very long times. Up to over ten years sometimes. So not only does this apply to Napoleon but all the people who fought in the revolution as well. It represents how many of the people at that time were feeling. I think it's a perfect representation of his time.

Neptune in Virgo ♍

Pluto in Capricorn ♑

(Fantasy, Illusion, Spirituality, Imagination)

Neptune is a very mystic planet in astrology. Because of this it's hard to see it in people from an outside perspective. Virgo Neptune are said to be intuitive and creative. But not much else. Not much can be said about Neptune placement because it's hard to work out in people. Combined with the fact that it's hard to see the effects of the planets placements in people, and that's it's a more general placement that applies to generations more than singular people, there's little to say. Napoleon may have a good intuition with things but it's not something we'd see in the game. It's more present in people from his Time than him, himself. So it's hard to say.

(Transformation, Regeneration, Power)

People with Pluto in Capricorn will be able to achieve personal transformation through evolution. But the Capricorn sign generally restricts and hinders Pluto. So these people will be forced to make considerable efforts to make progress in their transformation. They put great emphasis on good and thorough organization, process management, and efficiency, and they have considerable personal ambitions. However they must work very hard if they want to see good results. Again, Pluto, like Neptune and Uranus, is slow moving and more generally applying to a generation. Thinking to the French revolution again, a lot of people probably went through transformation and had to work very hard to achieve what they were fighting for.

And that concludes Napoleon's placements! Overall, Napoleon's birth chart translates and applies very well to his character in IkeVamp. It was very fun for him because his placements made so much sense! I'm excited to see the others! It'll take a while to get through all the characters but i will eventually. I'll also be doing these for IkeSen, IkePri, Ayakashi, and Obey!Me. OM will definitely be a doozy. It's no secret their signs are very odd! I might also do mystic Messenger And ProSeka too. ProSeka is very likely! Keep on the lookout I'll post characters as i complete routes and learn their characters!

I worked very hard on this! I did lots of research about birthplaces and years. I hope you enjoyed it! The rest will come very soon!

#dating sim #otome #otome boys #cybird ikemen #ikemen vampire #ikevamp #ikemen series #ikemen vampire napoleon #ikemen napoleon #ikevamp napoleon #astrology #birth chart #natal chart #zodiac #zodic signs

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flickeringart · 3 years

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Satanism - a way to embrace Pluto?

My mind has been occupied with Pluto lately, the planet, god and symbol of “the hidden things”, the occult, the underworld, darkness, fate, rage, destruction, transformation, abduction, man’s primitive nature, life and death, power and powerlessness, fear, violation and fertility. There’s so much nuance to all planetary (archetypal) principles and there’s always more to explore. Pluto especially is a mysterious and threatening figure (force) in our lives and in the world at large. I have talked about it in previous posts, here / here and here… I’ve also explored the 8th house, which is the astrological house of Scorpio and Pluto here and here.

Many people understandably avoid anything that has to do with the darker elements of life and human nature until they are forced to deal with them. This is possibly why Pluto has been associated with violence because we are typically dragged into the depths; we don’t go there willingly. Some people, however, have lives that are marked by Pluto to such a degree that they can’t pretend that he doesn’t exist. By deciding to consciously accept him and embrace his influence it is possible to live a richer life. After all, Pluto is not only a god of destruction; he is also a god of riches. It seems to me, that the worship of Satan (as practiced by members of the Church of Satan) is very much in line with Pluto’s gifts and his riches. It’s an attempt to embrace the carnal nature. However, this Plutonian carnality is not as basic as it seems. It has its own intelligence, its own spirituality and its own laws. It seems to me that Pluto has to do with survival – psychological, emotional, spiritual and physical. He stands for survival and life at all levels of the being. As stated on the official website, “To us, Satan is the symbol that best suits the nature of we who are carnal by birth—people who feel no battles raging between our thoughts and feelings, we who do not embrace the concept of a soul imprisoned in a body. He represents pride, liberty, and individualism—qualities often defined as Evil by those who worship external deities, who feel there is a war between their minds and emotions.”

I think, that this philosophy attempts to treasure the whole (hu)man, to recognize his divinity even in his subjective thoughts and feelings. It’s an attempt to honor the darker aspects of human nature – anger, rage, and instinctual responses. It’s essentially to honor the earth, the dark void, and the merciless existence. Putting faith in external deities is robbing the individual of his divinity; it’s separating him from life. Christianity has, at least in part, made people think of Evil as an autonomous force (an external deity), corrupting good souls and creating fear and panic. By avoiding seeing reality as a whole, Christianity perpetuates fear instead of confronting it. As I understand it, Satanists don’t invest belief in any gods (symbolic of human drives and instincts) because they see that these mind-made constructs are part of their own psyche. Satanists place themselves at the center of their own subjective universe without seeking to befriend or worship mythical entities that are separate from them.

It seems to me though, from studying astrology, that there’s no way to escape deity. In the effort to not have any god, to place the self at the center, as is characteristic of the Church of Satan, one is in fact aligning or siding with an archetype. It’s impossible not to. I think this is made quite obvious when using astrology and analyzing natal charts. The archetypal energies are expressing themselves through and as the individuals.

In fact, let’s take a look at the chart of the founder of the Church of Satan, Anton Szandor LaVey. I would expect him to have a strong Pluto because of the emphasis on embracing the carnal side and the spiritual dimension of it. There’s also a big emphasis on being whole (a solar principle) through recognizing the totality of life, facing the strength and power within oneself and using the necessary tools to improve one’s own life. This would include consciously using symbols and images (like the image of Satan) in order to get the desired effect. If symbols are given autonomous power it’s a problem only if it puts the individual in a disempowered position. Personal integrity and liberty is also of utmost importance, which sounds rather Aquarian to me. Let’s have a look.

The chart of Anton Szandor LaVey, as found on astrotheme.com.

The Sun is in Aries, which is not surprising considering his strong faith in individuality, his initiative to start a “new religion”, to provide a contrasting influence, to place himself at the “center”, to go by no other rules than his own, to welcome opposition, the desire to be his own master and a leader of his own life. Aries as a sign is strongly linked to the warrior archetype, of fighting for what one believes in without compromise, to claim authority in spirit, to conquer, to place subjectivity over objectivity (because there’s no real difference from the perspective of Aries). Selfishness is the basis for existence; it is through honoring the self that one can honor other people’s independence. Mars, which is the planetary ruler of Aries, is concerned with personal strength and potency (note; Mars is sometimes referred to as the lower octave of Pluto). It seems like LaVey lived on his own terms, relying on his own natural instincts and gifts to get by in life. This is all very typical of Aries people, to live of off a self-generated optimism and conviction of one’s own ability. “The rules don’t apply to me” is the overall sentiment – the rules originated somewhere and that which originates from my own self is no less valuable or divine, even if it’s raw, ugly or imperfect it is still of “The Self”, the force that animates existence.

To no surprise, Pluto makes a square aspect to his Sun. He would’ve lived with the threat of his own destructive rage, his own inner violence and uncompromising desire. To him, it was probably difficult to consciously accept this side (the square aspect always represents a conflict) but he certainly tried to acknowledge his “darkness” through founding the Church of Satan. A person with a trine aspect between Sun-Pluto would not have been as motivated or pressed to bridge the gap between the self and the primitive and taboo because there wouldn’t have been anything to bridge. The square relationships between two planets usually motivate the individual to try to solve dilemma of conflicting principles within the psyche through external work. Squares usually force work in a very concrete fashion. When a person is serious about something, and is trying to make something happen it’s usually indicative of a square aspect within the personal chart. For example, I have a Neptune square Mercury aspect. I try to read and write and educate myself to some kind of higher state, some transcendent and elevated experience because the connection is not smooth between these planets. I try to articulate things properly in order to bridge the gap between personal mind and the nuance of collective feeling. I try to reflect the essence or feeling tone of energies through my writing.

The interesting thing about LaVey is that he truly took on the appearance of a devil – he was probably aware of the power of looks, the impact that certain clothing or symbols have. He was undoubtedly theatrical. Pluto in the 5th house might have something to do with this, as it’s the house of individual expression. The 5th house is all about personal creation; it’s the realm of children and play. In a sense, he was no different from a child dressing up in costumes and playing “the dark one”, which is probably why people mocked him for it. Even when Pluto is in the 5th house it is never light-hearted, he is all in, ruthlessly determined. Pluto placed in this house takes play seriously. He takes personal expression seriously. His creations are his and he should be at the center of them. The individual should be credited for his abilities, not the other way around, just as the individual shouldn’t be appreciated because his gifts are “of the gods”. They belong as much to the individual as it does to the deities. This is certainly the spirit of Pluto. He answers to no other god than himself and he sees life as it is, in its most vile forms, without flinching. Life is in all expressions, in the primitive as well as in the sophisticated. This is, in many ways, a deeply honest way to live. Another thing that catches my attention is the bi-quintiles Pluto makes to the MC (public image) and the AC (personal image/persona). The bi-quintile aspect is generally considered to say something about a certain talent or style, a mercurial quality or skill. He truly has the style of Pluto, both in his countenance and in his societal achievements. He looks dark and mysterious, preoccupied with the occult side of life. Perhaps he even had a certain talent for “magic”, at least he claimed to.

Satanists believe in indulgence (which doesn’t imply compulsion) over abstinence, primarily because there’s no belief in heaven or an after life. The individual is placed at the center of his own universe as his own master – through and through. Although many people would agree that self-mastery is a good thing, many also tend promote, in the same vein, that “people make mistakes” and that they “should be forgiven”. As I understand it, Satanism as a philosophy would state that mistakes are only mistakes if the self-mastered individual firmly believes it to be so in complete honesty and integrity. Self-deceit is considered to be a sin, unless of course it’s done intentionally - it would then not be a sin. Going along with roles that other people have cast one in is self-deceit – that is, for example, shouldering the role as a “sinner” because other people have imposed that label or role onto you is not indicative of self-respect, it’s a betrayal of your own reality. Notably, LaVey has an Aquarius Ascendant, Lilith in Aquarius in the 1st house and Uranus widely conjunct his Sun (both in the independent sign of Aries). He is definitely not a person to follow the herd – in fact “Herd Conformity” is one of the Cardinal Sins in Satanism. He leads life through the principle of being his own godhead, his own intellectual genius, and his own unique and separate individual, detached from the norms and conventions enough to go against them if he pleases. Aquarius is a sign that considers the map of life in an intellectual sense. This sign is also the sign of the progressive individual, someone who wants to make a difference on a larger scale. He certainly did, through constructing a thought-system that could benefit people. It’s no wonder that the first of the Nine Cardinal Sins (as found on the official website) is Stupidity. Of course it would be to an Aquarius Rising! “Think for yourself; don’t go along with everything you’re told” is the plea.

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inacrowdofchoices · 3 years

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closure {Open Heart}

pairing: Ethan Ramsey/ MC (Casey Day)

word count: 1344

rating: General Audiences

tags: angst, breakup

author’s note: as a lot of you know, i started reading open heart with my mc, casey day and i romanced ethan. i loved their story, and reread it many times. yet, after a few chapters of book three, i started to dislike ethan’s character so much, everything from his general behaviour to his interactions with mc. i wasn’t enjoying reading the book anymore and i decided to switch to another of my mc who was romancing another character; i’ve been much happier ever since. so this is probably the last content i’ll ever post about casey and ethan, and ethan’s romance in general. it’s their breakup and it takes place between chapter 9 and 10 of open heart third year.

synopsis: Casey now understood that disagreeing fundamentally on subjects that were at the center of their lives, that were pieces of who they were, could ruin everything.

tagging: @choicesficwriterscreations

It's been a long time

And seeing the shape of your name

Still spells out pain

It wasn't right

The way it all went down

closure - taylor swift

“We need to talk.”

Casey was staring at the unsent message on her phone, the ghost of her fingerprint over the send button. After everything they went through, after almost three years, she never imagined she would find herself in this situation. She had believed, with every ounce of love in her heart, that they had finally figured things out.

Maybe they had. Maybe that wasn’t enough.

When she had joined the Diagnostics team, Ethan had told her the fact that they disagreed fundamentally on certain subjects allowed him to see her in a truer light; to know her better. At the time, Casey saw it as something to cherish; they were not together, but their relationship was a treasure to her.

Love did that to a person, she thought sadly.

Casey now understood that disagreeing fundamentally on subjects that were at the center of their lives, that were pieces of who they were, could ruin everything.

Maybe it was always supposed to end this way.

She had tried to explain to Ethan how she felt, how his actions made her upset, sad and angry, sometimes all at once. He had moved on from all their conversations with an “agree to disagree” mindset that made her feel unheard, as if he believed she would always take his side in the end. But Casey couldn’t.

Ethan thought he was above it all, perhaps even above caring about her feelings. And for a while, she had hoped things would change, that they would go back to how they were before Edenbrook became Bloom-Edenbrook. The time when they had finally come together, in front of everyone, Casey being able to be open and honest about her feelings for Ethan at last. He had been her rock through some of the most troubled times in her residency, the way she had been there for him.

Now she was standing at his front door, close to tears. Casey wasn’t ready for the conversation that was about to change everything. However, she knew she had to take that step forward; a text was not the way to start that conversation. So she knocked on the door.

It opened a few seconds later, to a very confused Ethan.

“Casey? Is something wrong?”

“I - Yes. Can I talk to you?”

He nodded and moved so she could walk in. Casey could read the concern on his face, and her first instinct was to sooth it, make it all better; but she stopped herself. She couldn’t do that, not anymore.

Casey had thought of a million ways she could tell him. None of them had felt right, and she realized this conversation would never be easy. So there she was, standing in front of him. She took a deep breath, and turned to face him.

“What’s wrong?” Ethan asked.

“Everything.” She started. “ I’m … I’m done. I love you but it’s not enough. I can’t do this anymore.”

The concern she saw on his face disappeared in an instant, replaced by confusion. And hurt?

“Casey, what are you saying?”

“I think you know.”

“I don’t, actually.” He replied.

“If you’d listened to anything I told you in the past three months, maybe you would.”

“Is this about Elijah’s clinical trial? About Bloom?”

“No, it’s about you. About us.”

Casey was close to tears, trying her best not to let the hurt show in her eyes. She took a step away from him, fighting her need to simply hug him and forget everything because she knew. Deep down, she knew because she had tried to forget and pretend all was well. It wasn’t.

“I don’t recognize you. Maybe you changed, maybe I did, maybe I just didn’t want to see what was in front of me for years...” Casey said.

“So this is about Elijah and Bloom.”

“No, it’s about what you did. And didn’t do. I can’t support your actions, and you wouldn’t listen. You didn’t care about anything I said, as long as you emerged victorious in your petty battle with Bloom.”

“Of course I listened. I simply believe this ‘petty battle’, as you call it, matters”

“You didn’t care that what you did hurt me. You only cared about winning.”

“I never meant for any of this to hurt you. I thought you’d understand.”

“I told you I didn’t. I told you so many times!”

Casey hadn’t meant to raise her voice. She turned her eyes away from his gaze, and took a deep breath. She wanted to be heard, but never like this.

“You didn’t want to hear me. You still don’t. And I want to stop pretending like us disagreeing about everything is okay. It’s not.”

“No one agrees about everything, you know that. It doesn’t mean I don’t care about you.” Ethan said in answer.

“Maybe about small things. I’m talking about things that matter. Things that make me who I am. Maybe you care, but try to see this from my perspective. It feels like you don’t care about me, not anymore. And I can’t … I can’t keep going, not when I’m feeling this way.”

Silence fell between them. The tears Casey had tried to hold in were now quietly falling down her cheeks. As a doctor, she knew her heart wasn’t literally breaking in two, but in that moment, it truly felt like it was. The distance between them was insurmountable.

“Casey …” Ethan went to take a step towards her, but stopped. “I’m sorry.”

“No you’re not. You’re just telling me what you think I want to hear. If you were, I wouldn't be here right now.” Casey replied, every word tinted with a bitterness she hadn’t realized she was feeling.

“That’s it then? You’re saying we’re done. After everything?” Ethan didn’t even try to deny what she said.

“Yes, after everything … That’s not how I wanted things to go. God, I believed … But I was wrong. I was wrong and I hate it.”

“I don’t know what to say. I can’t imagine …”

The words he left unsaid resonated with her own. Casey couldn’t imagine what it would be like not to have him in her life the way he had been for so long. They worked together, which would make things even more difficult. But she had to remember that, even though it didn’t look like it right now, this was for the best. Breaking up with Ethan was the best thing for her.

“What did you tell me when I joined the Diagnostics team?” Casey asked.

“We’ll make it work.” He whispered. “But that’s not how I meant it.”

“No, it wasn’t…”

There wasn’t anything else to say. This moment in time would be the moment Casey Day and Ethan Ramsey parted ways. From this day forward, they would only be coworkers on one of the top Diagnostics team in the world.

“I should… I should go.” Casey said, holding her voice as steady as she could.

Casey hadn’t been ready to start this conversation when she knocked on his front door. Part of her still wanted to go back in time and erase everything she had said, but she also felt lighter somehow. Turning the page on this part of her life would not be as easy as simply leaving Ethan’s apartment and going home. Mixed feelings would be her new normal for a while.

“It… would probably be for the best.” Ethan agreed.

“Yes.”

Tomorrow was a new day. Casey would go to work and things would never be the same. But she made her way back to the front door, and without looking back, left his apartment. She was ready to go home, cry with everything she had, and have Sienna most likely give her a hug and whatever baked goods were left in their kitchen.

Most importantly, Casey was ready to start the journey of moving on.

#open heart #open heart 3 #playchoices #ethan ramsey #ethan x mc #mc: casey day #play choices #pixelberry #choices fic writers creations #fics of the week

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checkurwindow · 3 years

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ten ways

Book: Open Heart

Warning: So sweet your dentist would be concerned Rating: General Pairing: Bryce x F!MC Word count: 6500+ Author’s note: I finally wrote something that isn’t angst and oh god is it long. I spent so much time on this so please please consider reblogging and let me know what you thought of it, and maybe check out my masterlist while you’re at it.

There was truly no better way to start off senior year than arriving late to her first class.

In her defense, she had left the house early. For once in her life, she was actually going to be early to school. She was so proud of herself, and was so certain that she had extra time that she allowed herself to stop at a drive-thru and get a drink as a reward to herself. Everything was going according to plan.

That is, until the lady in the car in front of her decided she wasn’t pleased with her order and made the barista redo it; and to make sure he didn’t mess up her order a second time, the barista was extra careful. And extra slow.

She groaned as she watched the time tick pass minute by minute. Just her luck.

She watched the barista hand the drink to the lady in front and breathed a sigh of relief. Yet, the car didn’t move, not a single inch. The drink was already in her hand, but the lady just had to continue to talk with the barista.

She cursed under her breath and banged her head on the steering wheel in frustration. She must’ve been more aggressive than she was expecting, because her horn went off, and loudly at that.

She jumped back in shock at the noise. The lady poked her head out of her car window and immediately began lecturing her on how rude she was being. At least, that’s what she assumed she was saying, she really couldn’t hear her with her windows rolled up. She bit her lip, gave a little wave, and mouthed an apology.

Eventually, the lady finished her rant and left the drive-thru. She got her drink, no longer a reward and more of a consolation, and sped to school.

There weren’t any other students in the parking lot by the time she got there, only a reminder of just how late she was. Shoving all her things back inside her backpack, she locked the door and hurried into the building.

Of course, her first class just had to be with Mr. Anderson. Any other teacher would have just let her tardiness slide, but not him, never him. She opened the door to his classroom, and any conversation that had been going on stopped.

More than a dozen pairs of eyes turned their attention to her, and she wanted to melt into the floor right then and there.

“Nice of you to finally join us,” Mr. Anderson addressed her. He narrowed his eyes at the nervous student, leaning against his desk as he sized her up, “if you’re done being a distraction to my class, I’d appreciate it if you would take a seat.

She swallowed roughly and nodded. He went back to lecturing the class on how his classes would be conducted, and she did her best to find a seat as quietly as she could. Instinctively, she made her way over to where her friends were sitting.

Bryce moved his backpack off the desk next to him and quietly whispered, “I saved you a seat.”

She gave him a grateful smile and mouthed back a ‘thanks’.

Sienna leaned forward, “Anderson really wasn’t amused with you, huh?”

“I swear he hates me,” she insisted.

Bryce rolled his eyes, “he doesn’t hate you, Boo.”

“Bryce is right,” she said, “everyone knows he just hates women,” she stressed the last part with exaggerated disgust.

Late-night study sessions had evolved to become code for hanging out at Danny’s house and messing around.

Sienna was dating Danny, so naturally, she had become friends with him and his friends by association. Sienna, Aurora, and her were actually trying to study. Danny and Elijah were discussing the school football team’s chances of winning their next game, and Jackie and Bryce were in the kitchen getting snacks and undoubtedly bickering about something completely irrelevant.

“Okay, Sienna,” Aurora held up a flashcard, “what can you tell me about the defenestration of Prague?”

“Uh, people were thrown out of windows for fun?” She replied, barely having read that chapter of the textbook.

“No- well, actually, I suppose you’re technically not completely wrong.”

She let her body fall back against the back of the couch and closed her eyes. If she had to stay there any longer, she would’ve thrown herself out the window.

It wasn’t that she didn’t want to hang out with her friends, it was just that after a long day of school, she wasn’t exactly thrilled to spend more time with the people she had already spent most of the day with.

“Sorry I’m late, I just spent the better part of the last hour trying to explain to a group of freshmen that I won’t be dating or teaching “my ways” to any one of them,” he shuddered dramatically as he walked into the living room where everyone was.

“Ah yes, I almost forgot I was friends with the Bryce Lahela,” she said overdramatically.

He rolled his eyes but decided to amuse her nonetheless, “what can I say, I’m just clearly superior.”

She scoffed but refused to dignify him with any further response. Instead, she closed her eyes and pretended she was back at home under her warm, soft covers.

“I brought you food.”

That caught her attention. Cautiously opening an eye to see if he was telling the truth, she was met with the sight of him holding up a bag of fast food that he must have picked up on his way over. She couldn’t help the growing smile on her face as she sat upright.

“For me?” She asked.

“Of course, Munchkin” he handed the bag over to her, “you skipped lunch to finish up the science project you were behind on and I’m certain you haven’t gotten around to eating anything yet,” he said confidently.

She happily pulled an order of large fries out of the bag, “have I ever told you how amazing you are, Bryce?”

He smiled, “not often enough.”

“Well, you are. So amazing.”

She had just finished the fries and was looking through the back to see what else he had gotten her when Danny called out to her.

“What are your thoughts on Rafael?” He asked.

“Aveiro?”

“Yep.”

She tilted her head, “he’s okay, pretty cute. Why?”

“He told me he likes you, even wanted me to ask if you were single?” Danny said nonchalantly.

Sienna immediately got invested and joined in on the conversation, “she is very single, and I for one think they would be a great couple!”

She could feel her cheeks begin to heat up, and suddenly she found the hardwood floors very interesting, “I don’t know…he actually likes me?”

“That’s what he told me,” Danny replied, “can I give him your number?”

She weighed her options before giving a careless shrug, “Yeah, why not?”

“You and Rafael? I knew this day would come,” Aurora commented.

“Okay, we’ve talked about this long enough. We need to study,” she insisted, pulling out her textbook.

“I’d rather not fail this test,” Bryce agreed.

Everyone begrudgingly went back to their previous activities, and Bryce took that opportunity to fill up the space next to her on the couch. She flipped through pages of her textbook before coming to a stop. She passed the textbook to Bryce and pointed to a large picture on the page.

“This one’s my favourite,” she said.

“Wanderer above the Sea of Fog,” he read, “you’re a fan of Caspar David Friedrich?”

She shrugged, “I guess I’m just a fan of the Romantic moment in general. Everything was so creative and beautiful. I just think it’s crazy how this painting holds so much emotion.”

Bryce frowned, looked at the painting, then back at her, “it certainly is romantic.”

She gave the painting one last look before she began flipping through the pages of the textbook again. Bryce watched her curiously as she read over the vocabulary words for that week. After a while, he decided to say what was on his mind.

“So,” he broke the silence, “you and Rafael, huh?”

“Yeah,” suddenly, the furry carpet on the floor looked beyond interesting, “I used to have a crush on him in middle school, remember?”

His mouth broke out into a smile, “Sienna and I used to tease you about it all the time! No wonder you’re so bad at chemistry,” he joked.

“I happen to be pretty extraordinary at chemistry, thank you very much.”

“Hm, I think that botched experiment that nearly killed Mrs. Durnam tells a very different story,” he said, and she playfully punched his arm.

“She’s still alive, isn’t he? Plus, you were the one who didn’t make me double-check!”

He had an amused look on his face, “keep telling that to yourself, babe.”

He was tired, the sheets were too hot. It had been a long day, his body was exhausted. The air in his bedroom was too cold, his mind was tired, too. If he would just close his eyes and stop thinking, he’d be asleep in mere minutes. Now the sheets were hot again, so he kicked them off. Then the air was too cold, so he pulled the sheets over him again. Not thinking ironically proved to be harder than perceived. Go then if you must, but remember, no matter how fooli- damn it, Sophocles, damn your terribly beautiful words.

Bryce threw the covers onto the other side of the bed and sat up. He wasn’t going to get much sleep that night no matter how hard he tried, anyway, no need to lie to himself. He rubbed the sleep out of his eyes, if there even had been any sleep in the first place.

There was no doubt that he was tired both mentally and physically. But emotionally? His heart was eternally restless when it came that. He crossed his room and sat down at the expensive wooden desk, fully accepting that getting any rest that night was no longer a viable option.

The bright light from his computer was a harsh contrast to the darkness of the room, but his eyes adjusted soon enough. Bryce didn’t even know what he was doing on his computer in the middle of the night.

But his subconscious knew. His fingers opened up the application and started scrolling. No, no, yes. God, no. yes, definitely, perfect. And that went on for an hour or so, though Bryce wasn’t exactly keeping track of time. He’d be near-dead at sunrise, but he wasn’t going to get any sleep until he finished.

When he actually did finish, he smiled contentedly to himself. A wave of calmness washed over him, and before he knew it, he was face down and lost in his dreams asleep.

He looked terrible the next morning. Well, as terrible as Bryce Lahela could look. He still dressed as great as always, even styling his hair with a little more volume than usual. He was still sharp as ever in class, but anyone who really knew him could tell that he was a total mess.

“Hey, you okay?” She asked during lunch in Mr. Jericho’s classroom (He had been kind enough to let a bunch of teenagers spend lunch in his class; the cafeteria just wasn't cool enough for them).

“Huh? Yeah, I’m fine.”

She cocked her head to one side, “no you aren’t, spill.”

“Don’t worry about me. I actually have a little something for you,” Bryce fished his phone out of his pocket.

“You have something for me?”

“Sending it now. Aaaand…...check your phone!”

She raised an eyebrow and cautiously unlocked her phone to look at the text he had sent to her.

“Sophocles and Serotonin,” she read off her phone, “ what is this?”

“I made you a playlist of songs that I thought you’d like.”

“Seriously?” A smile emerged on her lips, and Bryce couldn’t help himself but to reflect it, “When did you even have the time for this?”

He shrugged nonchalantly, “I happened to have free time last night.”

“With Mr. Anderson's early deadlines? I smell a steaming hot pile of bullshit, Lahela,” She looked up at him, a teasing lilt prominent in her tone, “I appreciate the playlist even more now that I know you took the time out of your night to make it. Thank you, Bryce.”

She leaned forward on the desk she was seated on and pressed a kiss to his cheek. He froze like a deer in headlights, and if she noticed, she definitely didn’t say anything. He compiled himself back together before she could notice that his usual smirk wasn’t as smug as it usually was, and leaned back against the desk behind him in an attempt to look cool.

“So, what’re you doing after school?” He asked in his best casual voice.

“Rafael and I are going to see a movie.”

“That’s actually still a thing?”

She shot him a look that made him raise his hands up in surrender, “Yes, it’s still a thing. He’s a good guy, I really like him.”

“But is he good enough for you?” He crossed his arms, eyes not leaving hers. It wasn’t that Bryce didn’t like Rafael. Rafael was great, but no guy would ever be good enough for his best friend.

“He is,” She said with an eye roll, “why do you care anyway?”

“Just looking out for you, Sweetheart.”

“I can take care of myself perfectly fine, Scout.”

His eyebrows shot up his forehead, an impressed look across his face, “trust me, I know.”

Summer felt like an eternity ago, when in reality, it had been less than two months ago The yellow-orange leaves and updated Starbucks menu was enough to convince anyone that it was already October.

It took a lot of sweet-talking and a tiny bit of bribery to convince Bryce to attend the Homecoming football game, but with Sienna’s assistance, she eventually got him to cave. She wanted him there, but more importantly, she wanted him to give her a ride there.

Of course, she could have taken her own car, but she would much rather not waste her own gas when she could take advantage of his instead. It wasn’t like it mattered to him, his parents paid for his car, insurance, and gas anyway. Plus, the seat warming function in his cushy Mercedes Benz was a huge incentive.

She spent most of the ride over to the stadium raving over the seat warmers, and he spent most of the ride making fun of how obsessed she was with said seat warmer. Eventually, they parked outside and paid for the entrance fees.

“It’s kinda co-” before she could even finish her sentence remarking the cold weather, Bryce handed her a comfy looking (and feeling) sweatshirt. She looked down at the maroon sweatshirt, then back at him, her mouth slightly ajar, “You brought an extra sweatshirt for me? I didn’t even ask.”

“You didn’t need to,” he shrugged.

She put on the sweatshirt and stared at him with wide eyes. Bryce glanced at her, bit the inside of his lip, then shook his head, “Don’t go thinking I care about you or anything now, Lovey. I couldn’t have you taking the sweatshirt I’m wearing, then I’d freeze up.

She looked up at him with a smug grin on her face that made him regret bringing her the sweatshirt in the first place, “Yeah? Is that really all it was?”

“Yes, that’s all, Sunshine,” he did his best to act all annoyed by her questioning, but instead found it endearing in the end.

It took him a moment, but eventually, he came up with a half-decent excuse, “besides, you know my grandma would kill me if she knew I let you freeze. I swear, sometimes it seems like she loves you more than she loves me.”

“That’s because she does,” she pointed it out like it was the only possibility, “can you blame her? I’m funny and adorable. You’re just a grumpy old man that I had to drag to this game.”

“That’s it. Take the sweatshirt off, I hope you freeze,” he said with the dirtiest look he could muster and she had the audacity to throw her head back and laugh.

She reached into her bag, and after digging around, she pulled a five-dollar bill out of her wallet. Thrusting the money into Bryce’s hand and pushing him in the direction of the concession stand, “here, go get some popcorn for us. Maybe then you won’t be so irritable once you get some food in you, I’ll find us some good seats.’

Bryce grumbled something about “you’re irritable” but nonetheless ventured off towards the concession stand.

She climbed the steps up the stadium and immediately found Sienna and Danny sitting in the student section, all decked out in their school colours and face paint. Sienna greeted her with a warm hug.

Pulling back, Sienna took note of what she was wearing, “is that Bryce’s?”

She looked down at the Stanford sweatshirt she had wrapped around herself, “Oh yes, it’s pretty comfortable, actually.”

Sienna pursed her lips and mulled over the new information, “What’s going on between the two of you?”

“What do you mean? We’re friends,” she shrugged.

“And Bryce knows that?” She paused, “Do you know that?”

She narrowed her eyes at Sienna, “Yes, of course I know that. I’m dating Rafael now, okay? Bryce and I have always just been friends, and that's all we’ll ever be.” Sienna nodded her head, “Okay, okay. If you say so, I believe you. I just don’t want anyone to get hurt, I care about both of you.”

“There aren’t any feelings between Bryce and I, don’t worry,” she said, but those words didn’t leave her mind for the rest of the night.

Bryce had spent a significant amount of the week dreaming about the coffee and cookie dough ice cream that was waiting for him in the freezer.

It was his favourite flavour, and there was just enough left in the carton for one last bowl of that sweet sweet goodness of a food. He had promised himself that he wouldn’t eat the last of it until he really deserved to. After spending his afternoon being productive and studying for the test he had tomorrow, he decided that he finally earned that delectable bowl of unhealthy but utterly delicious caramel-colored ice cream.

He made his way down to the kitchen, humming an upbeat tune and sliding across the smooth marble floor in his most comfortable pair of socks. Bryce had made it all the way to the freezer, barely moments away from the compartment holding his currently most prized possession when a hasty knock at the front door stopped him in his tracks.

He paused. He was oh so close to getting to his ice cream; maybe it was just a delivery? He debated answering the door or ignoring it and getting the ice cream first. He was starting to lean towards just going for his bowl of ice cream when there was a knock at the door again. With a scowl on his face, he abandoned the freezer and any hope for happiness he had left and made his way to the front door.

“Hey, what are you doing here?” He said in surprise when he saw who was standing at her doorstep.

“I didn’t know who else to go to. Sienna’s out with Danny, and Aurora and Jackie aren’t good in situations like this,” she spoke quietly and sniffled in between sentences, trying not to let any more tears fall down her cheek, “sorry, I just-”

He interrupted her by pulling her into the darkening sky and into his house and arms. She melted into his touch and gripped his shirt tightly as she hugged him back.

“What happened?” he asked softly, rubbing circles into her back with his thumbs.

“Rafael and I broke up.”

Bryce sighed softly and rested his chin on her head. He bit his lip and weighed the options in front of him, before he came to a reluctant conclusion. He pulled away just enough so that he could look her in her teary bloodshot eyes.

“I think this is the part where we break out the ice cream.”

She offered him a slightly trembling smile, “ice cream couldn’t hurt.”

He led her to the kitchen and began digging through the freezer while she hopped onto the counter beside him. He hid a frown from her while in the process of pulling the nearly empty carton of coffee and cookie dough ice cream out of the freezer.

“You wanna tell me what happened?” Bryce asked, retrieving a bowl from one of the cabinets.

“It wasn’t even a bad break up,” Despite her words, she still wiped at her tears using the sleeves of her shirt, “we mutually agreed that it was best for both of us.”

“Yeah?”

She nodded, “he’s just...not the one, I guess.”

Bryce felt something twist and turn in his stomach, and he knew it wasn’t right to be happy when his friend was so miserable, but he was anyway. He did his best to hide the smile that wanted to form at the corners of his mouth, “I’m sorry, Cupcake.”

She laughed, “Cupcake?”

He rolled his eyes, but the grin on his face remained, “I’m trying something new, okay? Running out of nicknames.”

She couldn’t help but match his infectious smile, “you’re not gonna have any ice cream?” she asked as he passed her the bowl.

“Nah, not in the mood for it,” he lied.

“Did you get enough sleep last night, Hon?” She was already in mid-yawn when he had asked the question.

She held a hand over her mouth and nodded, “yeah, I’m fine. Why?”

“You look terrible.”

She scowled at him, “wow, just what a girl wants to hear. Anyone ever tell you you’re one hell of a charmer, Lahela?”

“You’d be surprised, actually,” he gave her a teasing smile, “so who’s the cause for your sleepless night?”

“Napoleon Bonaparte.” She made an emphasis on the textbook in her hands, “Why’d I ever let you convince me to take an AP class with you?”

“Because you so desperately enjoy spending time with me?”

“Nah, that’s not it.”

“Ouch,” Bryce held a hand over his heart, “you really stayed up late studying for the quiz?”

“Some people have to study, okay? Not everyone is as gifted as Bryce flippin’ Lahela.”

“Flippin’? Really?” He stifled a laugh.

“We’re at school, gotta keep it PG,” she shrugged, “so yeah, I stay up and study sometimes. High schoolers aren’t supposed to get a normal amount of sleep, it’s not a big deal.”

“Yeah, well, sometimes I worry about you.”

She tilted her head to the side and gave him a small smile, “you don’t need to worry about me, Bry.”

“Believe me, if I could just shut it off, I would. Look, I’ll make you a stack of flashcards next time so you can get more sleep.”

She was about to say something in response when her phone rang in her pocket, “I should get this.”

She went out into the hallway to answer the call, and Bryce turned back to his lunch, not even bothering to hide his growing smile.

“Bryce.”

He jumped at the sound of a voice and turned to see Sienna sitting at the desk across from him. Had she been listening to them the whole time? He had completely forgotten she was there; a fact he certainly wasn’t about to share with her.

“Yes, Sienna?”

“Do you have a crush on her?”

Bryce blinked a few times, certain that he hadn’t heard Sienna right, “Excuse me?

Sienna rolled her eyes, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear, “You heard me right. I’m not blind, Bryce. I see the way you look at her when you think no one is focusing. Do you have a crush on her?”

“That’s ridiculous, where’d you even get the idea from?”” He made a face like he was disgusted by the very thought of it.

“Oh, I dunno, you just do whatever it takes to make her happy. Not to mention that you have a different pet name for her every time I see you two, seems pretty affectionate to me, Bryce.” She did always have a talent for laying out the facts.

“We’ve been friends since before I could remember, of course I care about her. And so what if I have a nickname for her? It doesn’t mean anything.”

“It’s not like you have a nickname for anyone else.”

“I call you...Si...all the time,” he paused to rethink what he just said, “I have a nickname for everyone.”

“We both know that’s a load of B.S, are you really telling me that you don’t like her?”

“I don’t like her,” and it wasn’t an exact lie, because the feelings he had for her had progressed far beyond liking.

“There’s nothing people appreciate more than a hand-made gift, right?” She said and pulled out a ball of azure coloured yarn.

Bryce crossed his arms over his chest and leaned back against a wall, “Sure, except maybe a nice Rolex or a new car.”

She gave him a look, “I don’t know what it is about me that makes you think I can afford a Rolex or a new car. I’m an unemployed high school student, my only income comes in the form of birthday cards from my grandparents.”

“Well, I’m sure Sienna will love the scarf you make for her.”

“Yeah, how hard could it be?” She muttered and stared blankly at the mess of strings in her lap.

His eyes widened a little, “Wait, you’re telling me you’ve never crocheted before?”

“I'll get the hang of it soon enough,” she pulled up a beginners guide on YouTube, and five minutes later, she had a knotted pile of yarn in her hands. She huffed in frustration and began to aggressively pull at the yarn.

“Let me help you.”

“You? Know how to knit?” She raised a skeptical eyebrow at him.

Bryce rolled his eyes, sitting next to her and taking the “scarf” out of her hands, “This is crocheting. You don’t even use knitting needles”

“Apologies. And how do you even know how to crochet?”

“I may or may not have taken lessons a couple summers back to impress Alisson Rivers?” He admitted, quickly untangling her “progress” and began to expertly thread the loops of yarn together. He held up his work to her once a pattern had begun to form, “being incredibly sexy has its perks,” he jokingly winked at her.

“I hate that you’re good at everything.”

He snorted and gently began to move the work into her hands for her to finish the rest, “Not everything, maybe just most things.”

“Yeah, yeah, whatever,” She waved him off, now laser-focused on the project in front of her and determined to get it right that time. Bryce gave her tips and advice every once in a while, but for the most part, he let her work on it by herself. She was a fast learner.

“Sweethea-” Bryce cut himself off, remembering the conversation he had with Sienna earlier. He cleared his throat, “you’re never gonna get it like that.”

She looked up at him with furrowed brows, “What?” He swallowed roughly and shook his head, “It’s nothing. Just...you’re going to wanna pull the yarn a little tighter or it’s all going to unravel before you’re even finished.”

“Oh,” She gave him a thankful smile, “thanks, Bryce.”

It was almost 2 in the morning, and she knew that getting any more than four of sleep was out of the equation at that point. She wasn’t exactly trying very hard to sleep. She had tried to refresh her Instagram feed maybe two dozen times now, but it wasn’t as if anyone was going to post in the middle of the night. And even so, Instagram was doing a fairly poor job at keeping her mind distracted.

Sighing out in frustration, she threw her body back onto her bed with a loud sigh. She wrinkled her nose and finally caved in to her temptations, navigating to the facetime app on her phone. Hesitating one last time, she tapped his contact with her thumb. The phone began to hum as she waited for him to pick up.

“Hey, Bry. I know it’s late,” she said when he finally answered the phone. She frowned when he realised he was still rubbing the sleep out of his eyes, “sorry, did I wake you up?”

“No, no. I couldn’t sleep anyway,” replied his groggy and raspy voice.

“I know you’re lying, Bryce. Don’t worry about it, go back to sleep”

“I was already up.”

“No, you weren’t. It’s really fine, don’t let me bother you.

He stopped rubbing his eyes and looked at her firmly through the camera, “Maybe I was asleep, but I’m up now, aren’t I? Don’t worry about waking me up. Besides, I’d much rather be talking to you.’

She pursed her lips, giving him a doubtful look. He was too polite to ever tell her if she was bothering him. She couldn’t tell if he genuinely wanted to talk to her, or if he was too courteous to tell her otherwise.

He noticed the look she gave him, “Don’t look at me like that.”

“Like what?”

“Like you don’t believe me. I would’ve stopped being friends with you years ago if I didn’t find all your annoying habits endearing as hell. I promise,” he shot her a smug smile that almost made her wish she hadn’t called him up.

“How kind of you,” she said sarcastically.

“I try,” his grin widened, if that were even possible, “so what did you want to talk to me about?”

She chewed on her bottom lip and shrugged, “I dunno.”

“You don’t?” Bryce narrowed his eyes and leaned closer to the camera. After he had examined her carefully, he leaned back and crossed his arms, “Yeah you do. What is it?”

She shifted uncomfortably by how easy it was for him to see right through her. Once more that night, she caved, “Earlier, when you told me to tighten the yarn. You stopped yourself from calling me ‘sweetheart’.”

He tensed, but she didn’t notice, “I mean, what’s so unusual about that? That's a perfectly normal thing for someone to do.”

“I know,” she nodded, “but you always call me some cheesy pet name. Always. So, did something happen? Are you mad at me?”

He raised an eyebrow and shook his head, “No, of course not. Everything’s fine,” he paused, “that really upset you?”

“It’s just that you’ve always had a nickname for me, I guess I got used to it.”

He laughed through his nose and couldn’t stop the amused smile from spreading across his lips, “Okay, Boo.”

“Am I finally going to get to see your mural?”

Bryce rolled his eyes, “It isn’t my mural, Love. It’s the senior mural, it’s not like I’m painting it.”

“Yeah, but it was your idea,” she gave him a playful nudge, “I don’t know why you haven’t told me what it is yet. I’m sure if the amazing Bryce Lahela designed it, it’ll be the best senior mural this school has ever seen.

“Don’t get your hopes up, Babe. I’d hate to disappoint you.”

“You could never disappoint me,” she said matter-of-factly, “you’re Bryce Lahela.”

They turned the corner to see their fellow senior, Kyra Santana, working on the mural. The previously beige wall was now covered in black, gray, and light blue paint. In the middle of the painting was a figure made up of colourful handprints standing above the blue-gray ocean in front of them.

She stared at the mural with an open mouth. She glanced from Kyra, to Bryce, then back to the artwork in front of her.

“It was my idea to make the figure all colourful with the handprints,” Bryce said, “I thought it would be nice to let our class literally leave a mark on this school.”

Kyra smiled at the mural and set her paintbrush down, “I was a great idea, the splash of colour is just what it needed,” she turned to her, “what do you think?”

“Like it? No, I...I love it, it’s perfect,” she turned to Bryce with wide eyes, “Wanderer above the Sea of Fog, this is my favourite painting.”

“I noticed--don’t give me that look. It’s not like I care that much, you just never shut up about this painting. It’s annoying, really,” he muttered, sheepishly rubbing the back of his neck and looking down at his shoes.

She smiled and turned her attention back to the mural, “I can’t even begin to tell you how much I love this. I can’t believe you remembered.”

“Of course. It’s worth it, seeing how much you like it.”

There was a beat of silence.

“You’re the kind of person I could fall in love with, you know that?” She didn’t take her eyes off the wall that the mural proudly sat on, and Bryce was glad.

Maybe if she had looked at him, she would have seen his breath catch in his throat and his eyes widen just a little bit. If he was the kind of person she could fall in love with, then why didn’t she? Bryce was flustered, and if she had noticed his lack of response, she didn’t mention it.

10.

Their high school was filled with rich kids. Their high school also had a debate team with a minimal number of members. These factors resulted in Bryce and her having their own separate hotel rooms when they attended a debate function in Washington D.C.

After a long day of debating and watching other teams debate, she and Bryce walked side by side down the narrow corridor to their respective rooms. Every now and then, they sneaked looks at each other when they thought the other wouldn’t notice.

Bryce cleared his throat, “So that guy in the blue shirt asked me for your number.”

She glanced up at him, “He did? Did you give it to him?”

“No.”

“What? Why not?”

“Thought he was out of your league. I told him you snored like an ogre and gave him Jackie’s number instead,” he said with a careless shrug.

She gasped and shoved his shoulder, “Are you kidding me? You know I don’t snore, he was cute and interested in me!”

“Can’t imagine why.”

She scowled, “For your information, I’m adorable. I’m funny, enjoyable to be around, and have a high tolerance for assholes who shut down opportunities for their friends. And I’m extremely attractive, which is an added plus.”

“You don’t need to sell me on reasons why you’re dateable,” he chuckled softly.

“Oh yeah?”

At that very moment, they turned to face each other. Their teasing banter stopped when they realised that they were only inches apart, able to hear every inhale and exhale of the other. His gaze flickered down to her lips, and it was only for a second, but she hadn’t missed a single bit of it.

Bryce took a step back and cleared his throat, standing rather uncomfortably, “It’s late, we should go to bed. Goodnight.”

“Goodnight,” she echoed before they both hurriedly turned around and stepped into their own rooms.

Had he almost kissed her? Did that really just happen? Her mind wandered as she leaned against her hotel room door.

Maybe she had just imagined it. She shook the thought out of her head and grabbed a sweatshirt along with a pair of shorts out of her suitcase. Maybe she would stop thinking about it after a good night's rest. She changed, brushed her teeth, and was about to turn the lights off when she felt that nagging feeling bubble up in the pits of her stomach once more.

It was naive to think her mind would stop racing that night if she didn’t confront Bryce about it. She set the covers that were in her hands down and made her way out into the fluorescent-lit hallway. She had made it all the way to his door when she stopped herself.

Was that really what she wanted to do? If she brought up their almost-kiss, would they ever be able to go back to being friends? Did she even want them to go back to being just friends? She bit her lip and glanced back at her own room door. She should’ve just gone to bed, it wasn’t worth putting their entire friendship on the line. But then again, she would always wonder what could have happened if she never followed her gut.

She raised her fist to knock on his door, but before she could make contact, the door swung open. They once more stood face to face, their wide-eyed expressions mirroring each other. For a moment in time, all that stood between them were the accelerated heartbeat and the flutters they felt for one another.

Bryce’s arm wrapped around her waist and pulled her closer to him. Her hand had found its place on the back of his neck and guided his lips to hers. His eyes were half-open, sneaking glances at her to assure himself that he wasn’t dreaming. Her overwhelming scent and the feeling of his hands threaded through her hair were all too real.

He pulled her into his room, kicking the closed door behind him. Placing both hands on his broad chest, she pushed him back onto the bed and climbed on top of him, straddling his hips.

Thoughts were racing in her mind. She tried to put reason to the way he gripped her waist so tightly that there were sure to be bruises there the very next day. She tried to put reason to the way his pupils dilated as she went in for another kiss; she came up empty-handed.

There was no way she felt the same, Bryce told himself. There was no way that she loved him the way he loved her. For as long as he could remember, he had been in love with her, and for as long as he could remember, she had only seen him as her friend.

He missed the warmth of her lips when she pulled away, but he couldn’t help but admire the way her lips were slightly swollen and her hair was a mess. Her eyes were mesmerising, and the way the light highlighted the softness of her skin made him fall even more. He took that moment to memorise every line and curve of her face, forever branding that memory into his head.

She leaned in to kiss him again, but he pushed her away this time and sat up, “Stop. we...we can’t do this. This can’t just be a one-time thing.”

“What?”

He felt his heart twist inside his chest and he clenched his jaw, “Because I love you.”

Her lips curled up in a smile, “I love you too.”

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utterlyinevitable · 4 years

Text

On The Subject of Love

Paring: Dr. Ethan Ramsey x F!MC (Dr. Rebecca Lao) Word Count: 3.3k Warning: Tame. A few curse words and mentions of sex. Summary: Becca coaxes Ethan into talking about his experience with love during their visit to Leland Bloom's yacht.

Author’s Note: this took waaaaay too long to write and i’m still not sure i’m happy with it :/ but thank you @aylamwrites for pre-reading and leaving hilarious comments ❤

________________________________________

The drive to Leland Bloom’s yacht was staid, a direct contrast to the glorious sunshine surrounding the bubble of the sedan. Ethan was navigating the unfamiliar route to the private yacht club with extreme disdain. His ego wanted to resolve this case and finally put an end to this petulant competition with Mass Kenmore Hospital. Sitting in the passenger seat of his car was his favorite accomplice, Becca, calmly staring blankly out the window and still so unsure of his feelings towards her.

She knew she riled him up when she went behind his back to seek out the first high-profile patient, influencer Gwenyth Monroe. Though, in her defense, the man wasn’t actively trying to save the Diagnostics Team from the budgetary chopping block. Ethan Ramsey was always so blinded by his pride and ethics - He did the same with their future as well. But, Becca also knew she stepped over the line this morning when she called him a spoiled child in front of Baz and June at Mr. Bloom’s estate. Though she didn't really regret it because someone had to tell him off, the interaction still left a bad taste in her mouth.

Becca wasn’t too sure where they stood - professionally or romantically. The words Ethan spoke not too long ago in the dark of his office rang through her head: I want to know you as you truly are.

That was a few weeks ago. There he was breaking down their simply professional facade once again. It was a constant tug-of-war with him. Some days Ethan would let the wall crumble by letting her in or grabbing her hand, and others where he’d build it higher than before just to keep the force of Becca at bay. She didn’t realize how sweet of a memory the two of them creating his Pictagram account during that late-night research session would become.

He’s such an old man…

Ethan cut through her reverie, “What are you thinking about?”

With her gaze fixed on the passing trees and her mind still half-stuck in her daydream, she responded without further consideration, “Do you really never want to get married?”

Ethan’s brow furrowed at the random intrusion, needing to think before settling on a response. “Are you still stuck on this?”

The two sometimes-lovers spoke briefly about his views on the subject while working on Gwenyth’s case late into the evening. To Becca it was one of the most important questions in building their not-so-subtle budding relationship - she needed to know if Ethan was worth all the… complications. He spoke about how he didn’t believe in soulmates, unconditional love, and his doubts on marriage as an intuition. He never once spoke about his experience with love.

Looking out the window into the cloudless end of summer day, Becca boldly asked, “Haven’t you ever been in love? Wanted to spend the rest of your life with someone you’ve dated?”

“Oh god, no,” he scoffed with wide pale blue eyes. “I told you, Rookie, I don’t see the point.”

She rolled her disbelieving brown eyes and let the conversation pause there as they pulled up to the dock.

***

After the yacht set sail the doctors waited around the stern in a restive silence for 45 minutes while Mr. Bloom wrapped up his business meeting. Once safely away from the prying eyes of investors and colleagues in the yacht's master bedroom, Ethan and Becca begin to run tests and scans on the deteriorating businessman.

“Mr. Bloom, can I ask you and Caroline a question?” Becca asked as she drew a few samples of blood. “It has nothing to do with your case. Me and my friend here are debating something,” she nodded her head at Ethan’s general direction.

The patient looked between the two with a devious smile, “Sure, swing.”

Becca quickly peered over at Ethan standing at an expensive gold and glass table with the mobile sonogram machine, his arms crossed and waiting for her to enlighten the room with her inquiry.

She shot him a coy smile before turning back to the worldly man and asking, “How did you know you wanted to get married?”

Ethan stifled a surprising cough. Never in his wildest dreams would he have thought she’d ask a complete stranger that.

Mr. Bloom smiled as he instantly recalled every moment he has ever spent with his now-wife.

Closing his eyes he recited, “We’ve been business partners for decades - since college, actually. We were married about 11 years ago. I’ve known her my entire adult life and waited until I was almost 50 to tell her how I really felt.”

His eyes opened and found Caroline sitting in the chair by the large bay window immediately. The two looking adoringly at one another for a few seconds, speaking volumes in the language of love. For a moment Becca’s heart panged with hope that she could have that level of fondness with a man - that unconditional and unencumbered attachment that precedes words.

“My recommendation is to tell the other person you have feelings for them from the get-go. It’ll buy you time together. Its - it’s the most precious thing in the world to be with the one you love most.”

The way Leland Bloom spoke about his wife humanized him - he wasn’t a cut-throat businessman with oligarch-like wealth. He was a man who wanted as much time with his loved one as this world would permit, no matter the cost.

“But how did you know she was the one?” Becca quizzed further.

Mr. Bloom looked at Ethan's awkward form first and then to Becca as he asked, “Have you ever been in love?”

Ethan’s attention was focused on watching the images printing, deeply embarrassed by Becca’s brazen question and wanting no part of the conversation. Feeling everyone’s gaze on him he took in the three expectant stares and exclaimed incredulously, “Wha - Of course I have!”

Becca smiled at the old man, “Yes.”

“Do you remember how it felt?” Leland’s eyes bore into Becca’s begging the memories to surface.

She nodded.

Becca peered over at Ethan for a split second, his eyes meeting hers. She could see the curiosity swirling around his dark blue orbs alongside something else. Feeling ashamed for getting caught staring she bit her lip and tore her eyes away from him before she could even try to pinpoint just what the mystery emotion was.

“It’s like that,” Leland reassured. “But you’re constantly drawn to one another. The simplest and meaningless of tasks make you the happiest. You can sit in the same room in your own little world of silence together. Your heart swells when you look at them.” Like before his eyes flashed over to Caroline. “You’re never bored. And you can rely on them. The most telling sign was that I knew I needed her in my life even before I knew I had feelings for her. The intimacy was an added bonus.”

He smiled up at his wife who now stood close by with an affectionate hand on her husband’s shoulder.

“Would you agree, darling?”

She nodded only for him. “I knew he was my person when he’d stand up for me. He wouldn’t let anyone belittle me or my intelligence. He challenged me to be a better person and comforted me when I needed it. He’s the best partner I could ask for.” Caroline’s body shifted to Becca though her eyes never left Leland’s, “Does that help your debate?”

Becca looked over at Ethan who didn’t have an inkling of amusement in his features. “I think you’ve just proved my point, but I'll give him a few minutes to form a rebuttal,” she winked at the couple.

They shared a pleasant laughter at Ethan’s expense.

“Ok, Mr. Bloom, you’re all set,” Becca beamed as they finished their examination. “We’ll give you a call once we have the results from the lab later today.”

With a nod of his head Mr. Bloom replied, “Good evening, doctors.”

Ethan didn’t say a word as they disembarked the vessel.

“So…” she started, expecting him to begin arguing his case on the disillusion of soulmates.

Ethan wouldn’t give her the satisfaction.

The walk back to his sedan was stewing in awkward tension under the afternoon raging heat. More than halfway back to the car Becca had just come to accept the fact that Ethan wasn’t going to engage in their little intellectual tiff when he spoke with a critical eye;

“How many people have you presumably been in love with?”

She certainly didn’t expect that to be his first rebuttal. It almost made Becca drop the medical bag she was holding. Almost.

She simply responded, “Two. You?”

Over her shoulder she saw Ethan walking straight and stoically, eyes fixed ahead. He was ever so expertly guarded and displaying no telling emotions.

“Three, maybe,” he shrugged, not giving it a second thought.

“Maybe?”

“I don’t think teenage relationships could really count as love.”

“So we won’t count it,” Becca agreed with a small nod. “My number stands at 2.”

They made it to the car and Ethan popped the truck for them to put the gear. He fussed with the equipment, taking slightly longer than necessary to make sure the bag with the blood samples were safe and secure. Becca eyed him carefully from the sidelines expectantly.

With a loud thunk of the trunk and eyes glued to the license plate, he hesitated, “One.”

“Tell me about her.” Becca demanded sweetly as she moved to open the passenger side door. “Or I can go first?”

“Please,” he motioned for her to continue as they settled into his sedan.

Becca took a cleansing breath as she buckled herself in for the journey.

“It was my first year of undergrad. His name was Mack.” Becca could almost hear the roll of Ethan’s eyes as she stared out her window. “We dated for a year and broke up because my workload got intense and I couldn't go out much.” She took a pause as she remembered all those meaningful moments that came to define her adult-self. “He was a liberal arts major, really outgoing. He brought me out of my shell and taught me to be the person I am today. I’m really thankful for him, but more grateful that it didn’t work. I loved him, but I know now I definitely wasn’t in love with him. Looking back I don't even know how we would have made anything work.” Becca chuckled to herself. “He works in television now.”

There was a pause before she continued onto the second romantic love she’s ever experienced. Part of her hoped Ethan would jump in with an antidote.

Still, he kept his eyes on the road ahead.

“My last relationship was during med school. He was something else,” Becca continued with a vibrant smile. “We had great chemistry and a good time together.”

The affection in her voice for the nameless man instinctively had Ethan gripping at the wheel just tight enough for his knuckles to turn white. Medical school wasn’t more than two years in her past, still enough time for the exes to find their way back to one another…

“We thought we were supposed to be together because that’s what you’re told as a kid - go to school, find your soulmate, get that good job, get married and have babies. We groomed each other to be all that. But the pressure of trying to be someone’s perfect person was too much. He went to California and I went to Boston. I don’t know what he’s up to today.”

Her smile faltered as she wordlessly recalled the day she and Thomas Miller III walked out of one another’s life for good. Ethan would be lying if he said he wasn’t a little relieved to know her break up was not amicable.

“Your turn.”

Becca didn’t have the strength to turn and face him, the still-raw memories were playing out against the glass of the rear-view mirror and she couldn’t banish them just yet.

Ethan began to recite his past relationship like a bulleted list, checking off any sort of pertinent information; “It was for nearly 10 months. During medical school. She was gracious and brilliant. We never saw much of each other but when we did we had the most riveting medical debates. It was good fun.”

“That’s it?” Becca questioned in astonishment. Her brows were furrowed as she tried to keep her mouth from hanging open. How could someone look back on their first love with such displeasure? Even if it ended horribly the feeling of being in love is magical... and shouldn’t that in itself be celebrated?

He nodded.

Becca folded her arms across her chest and bit her lip as she pondered his words.

With the slightest scoff Becca boldly concluded, “I don’t think you were in love.”

Ethan was taken aback, clenching his jaw tightly in blatant refusal of conveying his surprise at her account of what happened with his heart while she was still in grade school. “How would you know?” he retorted.

“Because if you were you’d see each other all the time,” she responded simply and with a jovial lightness - like she’d cracked an undefined code. “You’d forgo sleep to spend some time together. You’d talk about your insecurities, your family, your dreams of the future. Not just medicine and cases.”

“You’re romanticising it.”

That one phrase stirred something up deep inside Becca. Who was he to tell her those things didn’t matter in a relationship? Those are the things they talk about and she… she wouldn’t admit to it. With that one romantic phrase they dove back into the quarrel Ethan so desperately didn’t want to be having.

Undeterred by consequences she countered, “How often did you have sex?”

“Excuse me.”

“You heard me,” she challenged.

Ethan let out a long breath of air. They were stuck together for at least another 25 minutes and there wasn’t a single thing he could say to dodge his way out of this one. Although he didn’t like the fact, they both were acutely aware that Rebecca is the only person who could ever ask him an impudent question. She had earned that right that night he crossed the line and they ruined one another in the most pleasurable of ways.

“Once, maybe twice a month, I think.”

“Months!?” Becca practically jumped out of her seat. Her head whipped around to face him.

Ethan hadn’t moved from the upright position and tight grip on the steering wheel she noted when they began their journey back to Edenbrook. The only thing that was running through Becca’s mind as she gawked at the admirable DNA of the man beside her was: How?

“It was a long time ago,” Ethan said, still completely unflappable. “I can’t remember correctly.”

“I was lucky to have sex twice a week.” Gosh, there were so many questions fluttering around Becca’s mind that she just couldn’t find the right words to articulate how unfathomable his confession seemed.

She watched as he raised an eyebrow, “You had other priorities.”

“No,” she stopped him right there with a point of her finger. “I had the same education as you. In between classes, assignments and reading your entire body of work I found time to find time.”

The corner of Ethan’s lip twitched when she mentioned her devotion to his life’s work.

Becca couldn’t believe he dared question her priorities - he read her application, he knows just how diligent and qualified she is.

She wanted to continue arguing but knew it was futile. Instead she asked another innocent question, “How many relationships have you been in since her?”

“Hurm, one,” Ethan grumbled, “Harper.” He paused to look at Becca out the corner of his eye for any sort of reaction. She gave him no ill indications - Her alert brown eyes were on him and brows rose high, awaiting further explanation. The two have had a quick quip on his history with the surgeon, but nothing past hearsay. “We’ve been on and off since residency,” he told her once more. “Now can we stop talking about this?”

Becca conceded, settling back into the shiny black leather. “I can’t believe you dated Harper,” she mused as she played with her seatbelt strap, “You two are so…”

“Different?” Ethan finished for her. “We actually have a lot of the same interests.”

“Intense,” Becca grinned as she finished her train of thought. “But I'm glad you got along.”

“We didn’t.”

If she wasn’t confused by the attendings’ relationship before she sure as hell was now. “Wha- How? You just said you have a lot in common.”

“Having similar interests and getting along are not mutually exclusive, Doctor,” Ethan smirked.

With a slack jaw and eyes trained on him once more, Becca all but demanded, “Explain please.”

“We were two people at the top of our respective classes,” he began. “Medical journal leeches were pitching us again and again. Everyone was pushing us together - a power couple, if you will.”

“The pride of Edenbrook,” she muttered in understanding.

Ethan nodded, “Pretty much.”

“Did Naveen orchestrate your coupling?” she asked. “He loves a good gossip story.”

Ethan shook his head once, “Naveen just wants me to be happy. At that moment he thought she’d make me happy.”

Becca let his words settle amongst them. She shouldn’t feel unsettled by his honesty, yet she did. There were too many comparable variables coming to light today.

Becca chewed on her bottom lip for a few pensive seconds before asking the fated question; “Did you like her?”

As soon as the words fell off her tongue she shut her eyes. She didn't want to see the damage the words could cause, and yet her body craved the answer.

“I had an affinity for her, if that’s what you mean,” he asked but didn’t give her the chance to clarify. “We had the same interests; both of us very career-orientated. Ultimately that’s what got in the way.” He paused for a moment, thinking carefully about his next words. He said them slowly and a decibel quieter than the last, “And that I didn’t have highly romantic feelings for her.” Just then Becca’s eyes shot open, fixed at his loosened grip of the steering wheel. “I still have a lot of respect and admiration for her.”

A small smile crept up on Rebecca. Those words alone held all she needed to know - Harper Emery never was and never will be a contender for Ethan’s heart.

“Then why do it?”

He shrugged as his features settled back into their default stoicism, “It was the right thing to do. If we didn’t… people would spend the rest of our lives forcing us together.”

She cocked an eyebrow, “So your relationship was a PR stunt…?”

“Absolutely not. I’m not a low-life, Becca.” He took pure offense that she thought he would do anything without a saturation of intention. “We tried because it seemed right. It seemed… inevitable... to try.”

“Huh, ok.”

He used her words against her. ‘Inevitable’ was what they were. Does he feel the same way about their relationship that he felt about Harper? Surely he didn’t, but she’d have no way to know. Ethan Ramsey kept pushing her away, and yet years ago he refused to wait and chose to explore those ineludible feelings with someone else.

Was Harper the reason we aren’t together, since he’s done the whole ‘inevitable’ tango before? She speculated.

Ethan’s next comment broke through her trance, “Aside from those disasters called relationships I have spent time with a few other women. You can rest assured I’m not completely incapable of intimacy.”

“I know you’re not a robot, Ethan,” she lamented. I’m happy to be one of those women.

Becca was glad he opened up to her, and for their intimacy all those months ago. Though, the gnawing of how many other women Ethan Ramsey had taken to bed in the days without her or Harper Emery plagued her mind. She wanted to press further but knew not to - she pushed her luck too much for one day.

_____________________________________

Taglist: @ohchoices @dulceghernandez @aylamreads @binny1985 @ramseysno1rookie @interobanginyourmom @queencarb @perriewinklenerdie @rookiefromedenbrook @eramsey28 @choicesficwriterscreations @heauxplesslydevoted @schnitzelbutterfingers @purpledragonturtles @ramseyandrys @ermidc @mrsdrakewalkerblog @doilooklikeiknow @overwhelminglyaquarius @drethanramslay @edgiestwinter @rookieoh @lucy-268 @mvalentine @lilyvalentine @starrystarrytrouble @custaroonie @pitchblackstars @angela8756 @sanchita012 @thegreentwin @openheart12 @tsrookie @adrex04 @togetherwearerapture @ezekielbhandarivalleros

#open heart #open heart fanfic #choices open heart #ethan x mc #ethan ramsey #ethan ramsey x mc #ethan x harper #choices oph2 #oph series #oph ff #choices fanfic #ohsy

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crazy-loca-blog · 3 years

Text

Personal Thoughts on... El Romance Real, Chapters 1-3

Note: As the title says, these are just personal opinions on Choices books and chapters. Of course, you may agree or disagree with them, I only use this platform to express my thoughts on what I read every week and what I’d like to see in the next chapters, because none of my friends play Choices so I have no one to comment the books with.

Esta es la versión en inglés de la publicación. Si quieres ver la versión en español, puedes encontrarla aquí.

WARNING (?): Be aware that this post might be a little more technical, as it’s written from a translator’s POV.

I don’t know if I’ve ever mentioned this, but in the real world, I’m a certified translator. I graduated from a very good university in my country and my professional certificate says “English to Spanish Translator”. I also have over 13 years of experience working as a translator, editor and reviewer. So last night, when I noticed that PB had released a Spanish version of “The Royal Romance”, I had to check it. And, to be honest, now I’m kind of regretting it.

If you’re reading this in English, it’s probably because you don’t know a word of Spanish, so I’ll try to explain this in a way that looks easier to understand for you. In a very general opinion… maybe it’s because this is my job and things just pop up for me… but this is an awful translation, don’t even try to learn Spanish by comparing both books! It has so many mistakes that when I started writing this post I didn’t even know where to begin with. But I’ve found four main categories so far:

1. The inconsistencies in the names and titles. The general rule in Spanish says royal names must be translated. That might explain why some names were changed (Maxwell/Máximo, Bertrand/Beltrán, Penelope/Penélope, and Constantin/Constantino). The fact that Olivia and Kiara’s names remained the same is because those names do exist in Spanish (the same should be happening to Madeleine). Drake is a commoner, so that might also explain why his name wasn’t changed. But why didn’t they change Liam or Hana’s names if they are both nobles? We do have an equivalent for Hana (“Ana”), and Liam comes from William (“Guillermo” in Spanish). They also made a mistake when translating the “lady” title. When talking about nobility, we just say “lady”, like in English. Instead, they used “dama” (this is the word we would use for any commoner lady whose name we don’t know… “dama Olivia” is something that just doesn’t exist in the language!)… I almost had a heart attack!

2. I can tell the book was probably translated in Chile. The translation of this story is clearly made for the Latin American market. As you may guess, there are too many different dialects in Latin America to have a standard language, so in these cases, we make our best effort to try to get a text that is understood by as many people as possible (I’d say Mexican Spanish is the dialect we would use as a base). Then how can I tell the text was translated in Chile? Well, because first, I’m Chilean, and second, because “apartment” was translated as “departamento” (which is very Chilean) when the translator should have probably used “apartamento” (which is the most standard term in Latin America).

3. The translation sounds like a translation. There are two basic things that every translator should know: first, you don’t translate things in a word-by-word basis, you must translate ideas. And second, “a translation can’t sound as a translation” (that is, the text must flow naturally and it must sound like it was written, in this case, in Spanish). And even though this is definitely a job made by a human (thank you PB for not using Google), you can tell the story in Spanish is a translation because the text just doesn’t flow, it doesn’t sound natural. As a consequence, I think you end up missing a lot of things that the original has, especially when it comes to the characters’ personalities (they all sound like “robotic” to me).

4. The translator didn’t do their homework. I wonder if the person who translated this has access to the game. I wonder if they even know that the game exists in English for a long time now. I wonder if they’ve actually played the game as much as they should have before translating the story. I wonder if they made some proper research by interacting in social media or visiting the wiki page. I wonder if they know they can reach the authors in social media and actually talk to them in case of any questions. If you ask me, I think they didn’t. Not only the essence of these characters gets lost in the Spanish version, there are also some basic things that are wrong, such as saying this is a “cuento” (“tale”) instead of a “historia” (“story”) or the thing about “lady” and “dama” that I mentioned above… and I haven’t even talked about the missing spaces and punctuation signs. Also, the writing in general is way too formal (there are some words and expressions that I don’t see the MC using, especially in the first chapters… let’s not forget she’s just a waitress!) and it lacks of certain freedom that is allowed when translating fiction stories and literature in general.

On one hand, I love the effort that PB is making to try to reach a new market. I know they probably have no idea about this and that they just trust on the job the translators do because that’s exactly what most of the customers I work with do. But especially in these older stories, PB is so focused on the details, on giving every character some unique personalities… and I feel that what makes every character so likeable and unique in the English version, unfortunately gets lost in the Spanish version. So dear PB… sorry… but go and fire that translator like right now. There are so many of us who have been playing this game since forever now, and I’m pretty sure that any of us would do a much better job. Your stories deserve better. Am I going to send an email suggesting it? You can bet I will!

#playchoices #choices stories you play #the royal romance #the royal heir #el romance real #the royal romance choices #choices the royal romance #choices the royal heir #the royal heir choices #el romance real choices #choices el romance real #Liam Rys #drake walker #maxwell beaumont #hana lee #bertrand beaumont #olivia nevrakis #cordonia #king liam

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hongism · 3 years

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Hi, Caly! I just wanted to drop by to thank you for keeping MOC's MC relatable, even though having her very own mind and character. I think the lack of description regarding her physical appearance does it for me, personally. The MC definitely has her own character and experiences and history, but I think you really succeeded in keeping her relatable and easy to sympathize with! I always think it’s a shame when authors (I’m specifically talking about reader-insert fan fiction authors and I’m saying this as one myself) use specific physical descriptions such as "small/petite frame" or "long tresses of hair" or "milky thigh" etc. because even if it’s unintentional, they exclude a huge amount of readers like that and because of that some might lose interest in a story that they feel doesn’t represent them well or where they can’t put themselves in the 'readers' shoes. (I’m not talking about you! It’s just something I noticed over the years that a lot of writers seem to do) - 🥞 (is there a pancake anon yet? 🥺) 1/?

I know that authors done owe the readers anything, but if you’re writing reader-inserts why not go all the way, you know? I certainly struggled with that a lot and dropped quite a few stories, because things like that bother me, because I couldn’t relate to the reader. There’s always a way to describe things more inclusively (imo) and I actively try to write the reader in a way that as many people as possible can relate to. Of course you can state specific characteristics of the reader at the beginning of a story if it’s crucial to the plot or if you just want to write something completely self-indulgent, but otherwise I think it’d be great if you, as a writer, can appeal to as many people as possible with your story. This is just my opinion of course. Anyways, I’m rambling on, I'M SO SORRY!!! At first I thought I might discontinue reading MOC because the MC had such a distinct character, but given the universe and the circumstances of the story/the story itself, it all makes sense and you just wrote her in such an interesting way... It’s amazing and I absolutely love every moment of it and every word I read. - 2/?

I guess I just wanted to thank you for making me (and possibly many other people) not feel excluded from your absolutely brilliant story by giving unnecessary specific descriptions of the MC’s appearance. It makes it so much more enjoyable to read and live your story. I’m honestly just SO glad I came across your story (I have only started getting into ateez at the beginning of this year, so I’m pretty new and I started reading MOC before I knew all the members names by heart, but it definitely inspired me to get to know the group more hehe). It’s really bringing me a lot of joy right now. Thank you so much. I can’t wait for the next chapter. You’re really out here doing god’s work. 👏🏼❤️ - 🥞 anon 3/3!

hello my dear im sorry for answering late life caught up to me and i got very busy 😭 but! i can't put into words how much your message means to me im so touched thank you so so much !!! something i really prioritize is never using specific physical descriptions in any fics, and even when i describe mc's hair i try to be as vague as possible!! i want to be inclusive as possible bc i know there isn't enough representation for people who aren't small/petite, don't have long hair, or don't have milky perfect porcelain skin like many fics depict!

i 100% agree that even if unintentional, it does exclude a huge amount of readers, and even mists does that in a way bc it has a female reader and not a gender neutral one, which was a decision i took a while to come to. i agree that if an author is going to write a reader insert, it's not hard to be inclusive with the content. one writer who i really respect a lot bc she does so so well with both gender-neutral and very inclusive writing is @atiny-piratequeen, and she 100% is a huge source of both inspo and information about how to write without physical descriptions really well!!!! i would consider her to be an absolute staple and icon in the atiny writingblr community bc of both high quality fics and the ability to educate and be inclusive!!

obviously physical descriptors can be nice sometimes, but in my opinion, a good writer shouldn't have to rely on physical descriptors to tell a good story!

im really so touched that you continued reading moc despite her having a rather distinct character. i think for me, the parts that i hope can be relatable are her thoughts and how she reacts to things that happen. it means so much to me that you are able to feel included and that you feel able to read and live in the story despite the fantasy aspects of it!!! it's crazy to me how many people read mists in general, but also how many people read without knowing ateez super super well! it's so amazing to me that stories are able to touch people in such a way!!! im so glad that my story is able to bring joy and happiness as well, thank you so so much ahhh i'm rambling but thank you!!!

#🥞 anon #mists of celeste #anon #asks

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ohnobjyx · 4 years

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A sudden snow storm

Part 2: March

(Okay, second time I’m writing this post, as soon as I finish it, I’ll post it).

Disclaimer: I try to keep things objective (if I include my personal opinion, it’s in cursive and in brackets), but I’m biased because of the XZ friendly content I’m usually exposed to and by my own views of their situation. Open to discussion, but please make sure you’ve enough information to do so.

First of all, let’s keep in mind that I present here a rather negative part of the C- society. That’s because we are placing a magnifying glass on a small part of the fandom, so by no means all C-fans are like this. These are all a minority.

However, in the midst of so negative things, we find the reason why I think XZ will overcome this. He is overcoming it.

Targeting his endorsements

So, taking it from the first part, antis and haters were furious because they believed that XZ’s Studio had paid w/ibo to take his hashtag down of the hot search list. Some of them started to say that the only acceptable outcome for them was that XZ retired from the entertainment industry.

That night, Olay was to air a livestream with a product that XZ was going to endorse, and antis realized that they had a new way to express their anger. They turned to the “live comment” option of the livestream and flooded it with hate comments about XZ. Their comments and their interventions during the event made it impossible to progress adequately, and the announcement of XZ endorsing the product had to be put off.

So when they realized what they could do, antis and haters started to announce that didn’t just reject the products endorsed by XZ, they also rejected the brands that worked with him. In the face of such controversy and boycott, more and more brands chose another spoke person temporarily for their commercials and banners, removing XZ’s from their websites. Some of the companies even terminated their contracts with him, fearing the boycott from the antis.

From March, the antis centered themselves around the topic “Not buying products XZ endorses”, making his value go downwards at least for that time.

Douban

By the 3rd day ao3 was down, the reality sank in and people turned to douban, were C/QL, The Joy of Life, Jade Dynasty were in the top 3, all of them series were XZ is lead actor or secondary actor. The antis placed bad reviews on each drama XZ acted in, to the point of bringing down the score of C/QL from 8’5 to 7’9 in a single day (we are talking of around 1′5 million reviews in total), affecting every project he has worked on since the beginning of his career as an actor.

Public scorn

XZ as well as XZ fans became the objective of public scorn. From the 1st of March, some of the accusers apologized for “the problems caused”, and the one that had led the report posted a public apology and deleted every post related to the reporting. However, it seemed obvious to the rest of the users that they were apologizing against their will, and that they still thought they weren’t wrong, but it was done in an effort to preserve XZ’s public image, as well as their own image as XZ’s fans.

The conflict ceased between XZ’s fans and cp fans, now uniting in an effort to do damage control. They agreed to bring down the tone of the discussion, and once things cooled down a bit, XZ Studio posted a public apology, asking people to support their idol rationally, to speak and act carefully, as well as saying that XZ was currently quarantined at home.

With the attention on the antis, they started to dig up the dirt of XZ’s fans. It’s a sad truth that some of his fans had taken sometimes unreasonable measures to give him the spotlight, such as:

Making him the center of attention in a tv drama in which another actor was the male lead. They took over the community in w/ibo and started to remove all of the other actor’s fans from the group.

Some fans attacked WYB, so XZ wouldn’t have to “share” his success from C/QL with him. They reported WYB for not having a “host degree” (whatever that is). This was shot down by a statement from Hunan TV, by the way.

(By the way, WYB’s antis also tried to attack him using this incident, saying that his company and he had paid millions to create the smear campaign against XZ, to bring him down so WYB wouldn’t have to “share” endorsements with him... but these were all deemed ridiculous by most people, and it is).

Attacking whoever says that they don’t have any interest in XZ’s works (a professor was asked to have a look at his works, and he refused, so XZ’s stans started to attack him).

(A lot of people resented XZ’s fans for the 2/27 incident, and wanted a scapegoat. You can’t chase hundreds of people on the Internet, it’s easier to make a celebrity your target, which also hurts the people who offended you in the first place. It’s a “you take away what I love, so I’ll hurt what you love” kind of thinking. However, “professional” antis... they have their own agenda, which I’m not completely sure of what it is).

XZ Studio’s apology didn’t do much and the drama continued to unfold. Maybe XZ’s Studio wanted to wait for the storm to pass, and since acknowledging the issue would give it importance, they waited until they couldn’t put it off anymore. I don’t know if this was actually right or wrong, but people weren’t satisfied with this apology.

XZ’s fans would try to argue with the antis, and thus keeping the image of obsessive fans, even if many of them were actually right.

Fanfiction writers, mostly from the BJYX fandom, would receive insults and attacks from antis and XZ’s stans still pursuing their original stance, so a lot of content has disappeared.

(To this point: I don’t like RPS. I don’t read RPS fanfics. I didn’t like seeing them and adjusted the filters in ao3 so I could only see fanfics from CQL. But attacking the authors this way is also terribly wrong).

To take responsibility

XZ had previously signed contracts with several companies, with WJJW being the main stockholder. Since he was under so many companies, none of them wanted to take responsibility of the incident and try to solve it. Thus, it was left to XZ’s Studio and his public relations team to try to fix this problem.

Investors, directors and brands’ representatives all thought that this would take at least half a year for XZ to recover from this blow. It also depends greatly on how his next work is received by the general public. He still has the support from his fans, but that alone wasn’t enough in the face of such boycott.

Though the reaction of the entertainment industry will be detailed below, it’s also noteworthy that in the first days, some people (the MC from his 爱不是si interview, a critic) posted that XZ should step up and say something about the matter. There were only a couple of cases, and the positive responses outnumbers them, but since they are public figures, it attracted a lot of attention.

(I’m not so surprised that they’d choose to side with the public opinion... but to add oil to flames like this doesn’t seem very kind to me. But, again, this a very competitive industry).

XZ’s fans public welfare project

So, in the midst of this situation, which was very serious at the time, XZ’s fans public welfare group was founded with the support of XZ’s Studio.

It served to contrast with the disruptive, obsessive behaviour of the sasaengs, and proved that idols can use their influence to unite a large group of people to serve purposes that are beneficial to the society.

It came in a “good” moment, because if nothing else, XZ can’t afford that the first that comes to mind to the general public when they see him or his fans is this small group of people, who are the representation of the worst part of fandom culture.

(Since this project has the support of his studio, he must know of it and must have given his approval. But he is not the one to actually initiate the project, that was a collective effort from his fans, to do welfare projects in his name. He collaborates with welfare projects, he has done it before, and did it again in June. This a reflection of a more positive part of fan quan culture, which will be explained in part 3).

However, because he was in the middle of great controversy and criticism, this move was also considered “hypocritical and insincere” by the antis. Nonetheless, the influence such a large group of people have is undeniable (in promoting local commerce in this case), and the local representatives thanked them for their support. They kept on with their projects these months, usually promoting agricultural products from impoverished provinces. They were also praised by the media for the results they achieved.

For those who are inclined to doubt whether this was a move to improve his image, here it’s a compilation of charity and public welfare projects that XZ’s fans pushed forward in 2019, collecting money for numerous projects and 620.000¥ as epidemic relief effort during the coronavirus period, that started in December 2019.

This group also became a source of controversy in later months. It seems some people will never be satisfied, no matter what we do.

Support

However, people did realize (I think) that most of his fans gives him support silently. There are of course fervent people who jump to defend him, but that kind of behaviour is discouraged by XZ’s studio (what I said in this post that ignoring the antis is the greatest way to defeat them).

When seeing those comments and false rumours from the antis, fans tried to contribute posting positive things they had seen XZ doing or remembering his gestures with the people around him. Even people who weren’t his fans, also supported him. For example, a lawyer analysed the incident and declared that the fanfic had indeed violated Chinese laws (for damaging his reputation).

(However, there is an opinion that I agree more with: not liking a content doesn’t give you the right to manage it. That’s the responsibility, the duty and the right of the platform that hosts it. If you find a content unsuitable for that platform, you can report it to the platform and they’ll take it down if it’s indeed unsuitable. But to report it to the authorities seems overdoing it for me).

And now, no matter how important it’s the support from his fans, fact remains that his fans are people who don’t know him personally. Fans only get to see his public persona.

So it was extremely important and a very good sign that people from inside the industry expressed their support.

People he had worked with (actresses, actor, directors) posted comments praising him or expressing their dismay for his situation. One of them praised him in a direct livestream. Later in May, a screenwriter and director also posted a bewildered comment of why he was being attacked like that (to name a couple of cases).

I think that this was essential to his “recovery”. It’s a true give away of XZ’s character that well-known people step up and speak for him, especially if we take into consideration that they are facing a group of unreasonable antis and a very competitive industry, where one down it’s one less to compete with.

(For transparency reasons: some of them would actually be benefited if XZ’s reputation is recovered, like his coworkers from OOL. This is also a dangerous move, because it may turn the antis’ attention on them. But it’s also true that there were people who were “neutral” to this: supporting XZ didn’t bring them any benefit in the short term).

It was also a good sign that while brands still avoided his image, tv programs didn’t shy away from his image. Happy Camp emitted a video in which XZ appeared, so fans interpreted this as a sign of silent support from the program and the tv channel.

This was also very important. There have been cases before, when an actor was being seriously criticized by the public, that tv stations refused to work with him. In the case that an episode had already been filmed, they used photoshop to erase his image and simply cut the episode so all of his interventions and interactions with other participants were deleted.

(To those who are curious, this man had been a very successful actor for many years. He’d been “happily” married and has a 20 years old son. But when it was revealed that he had been keeping a mistress for two decades, he fell out of public favor. Quick.)

(See that space there, between the girl with cargo pants and the man in blue suit? Such are the miracles of Photoshop.

We are talking here about a week’s time. The episode was filmed on Friday and due to be aired next Friday. His affair was found out that week. In less than a day, the post-production team successfully deleted his every trace in the episode. So, if they believe it necessary, they can be very resolute and decisive).

So if an actor has really committed a mistake, the entertainment circle will not hesitate to take away their support. It’s also a way to say that they disapprove of what that person did.

XZ’s very brief appearance in Happy Camp was an auspicious sign for his future, meaning that he will work again in the industry since tv stations don’t refuse to work with his image, and that his dramas will likely be aired in spite of everything (I’ve never been happier to be wrong, since I thought this would take longer to pass).

It was also positive that in spite of everything, the sales of the products he endorses remained high and in the lead, in March, and the trend continued all the way to July.

←Part 1: First snowflakes | Part 3: Why does it snow?→

#gg's situation #part 2 of 7 #my post

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homeformyheart · 3 years

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with every step together - oliver cochrane x f!mc (ds)

author’s note: i saw a reblogged post of tanu’s from july 2020 pop-up for a fluff piece between oliver and mc and it wouldn’t leave my brain so here it is, i hope it lives up to your imaginations, if you envisioned this headcanon.

copyright: all characters owned by pixelberry studios. series/pairing: distant shores – oliver cochrane x f!mc (peyton bellamy) rating/warnings: 14+; fluff, indications of drinking word count: 1.9k based on/prompt: @robintora’s post about this. also partially inspired by high school musical 3’s “can i have this dance?” number (if you haven’t watched this, go to youtube and enjoy the choreography, it’s total cheesiness). summary: peyton struggles to adjust to the english aristocratic life in the past but oliver is there to guide her through it.

with every step together

peyton ran her fingers over the delicate lace and thick pink ruffles of her gown as she waited for oliver. nervous couldn’t even begin to describe how she was feeling. it had only been a few weeks since she returned to his time but already found herself having to navigate a made-up backstory about her societal status and relation to oliver.

it was unfortunate that the only plausible explanation was that she was someone he came across on his voyages and brought back to england, someone without family or land or a title to connect her to this place and time. but she trusted oliver. and if he thought the best way to help her acclimate and assimilate was to introduce her throughout the balls of the london social season as a member of his household, then she would trust him. that didn’t mean she had to enjoy it.

“miss bellamy, you look—”

peyton’s runaway anxious thoughts were interrupted by the handsome blonde navy englishman that haunted her dreams, and her bed, but she needed to tuck those thoughts away until she was alone. any self-consciousness she felt about her appearance melted away with how oliver was looking at her, his jaw slightly open and eyes wide, a faint blush on his cheeks.

she smiled and curtsied. “thank you, commodore. did i do that right?”

oliver smiled and closed the distance between them, his hand hovering above her cheek. “you are mesmerizing, miss bellamy. i don’t think any man out there will be able to take his eyes off you.”

peyton knew propriety was holding oliver back but she desperately wished he would touch her, or at least kiss her. “the only man’s attention i care for is you.”

he leaned in so he could murmur into her ear, “i am like a moth to your flame. no one shines brighter than you and i will always be drawn to you, my love.”

peyton felt her cheeks grow warm just as a servant coughed softly near the double-doors behind them. oliver turned and held out his arm so that peyton could place her hand in the crook of his elbow. he waited while she gathered her dress with her other hand to make sure she wouldn’t trip before leading her up to the doors. in just a moment, she would be formally introduced to the most prominent aristocratic families.

“are you ready?” he asked softly.

peyton took a deep breath. “we’ll see. once more unto the breach, i suppose.”

she felt oliver squeeze her hand reassuringly before the doors opened.

“introducing commodore oliver francis cochrane and his esteemed guest, miss peyton bellamy!”

even though this wasn’t technically her first ball nor her first time in an aristocrat’s mansion, peyton was immediately taken aback by the grandeur all around her, from the glittering chandeliers, ornate paintings on the walls and ceilings, and of course, the immaculately dressed crowd who looked as though their silks and lace had been imported from the far corners of the earth.

“it’ll be alright, take my hand and take a breath,” oliver whispered under his breath.

peyton took as subtle of a breath as she could while plastering on an innocent smile as they descended the grand staircase step-by-step. when they reached the bottom, she turned to face oliver but he was already sliding his arm out of her grasp as he was accosted by prominent-looking men and beautiful women all at once.

“i don’t know why the commodore would take pity on a girl like that who isn’t even english,” a snarky voice from behind peyton caught her ears.

“oh come on anna dear, he’s a navy sailor, they must get bored while out at sea. it’s not like he’s going to marry her.”

“of course not, just look at her. it’s clear he’s just being charitable. what a gentleman.”

peyton’s face burned and she had to fight every urge to turn on her heel and run away. she tried to school her features and turn gracefully around the room until she found a servant off to the side with a tray of drinks. she quickly knocked back two goblets of wine from behind a large pillar, trying to ignore the judgmental look the servant gave her as he took her empty goblets away.

the quartet in the corner began playing a soft waltz to indicate that the dancing portion of the evening would start. peyton watched, eyes wide as she realized how out of her element she was. women moved eagerly to the center of the ballroom, some with established partners, others trying to not-so-subtly coerce one of the eligible men standing around the edges to dance with them.

peyton looked around desperately for oliver and saw that he was deep in conversation with another naval officer. she made her way over to his side just as a small group of women surrounded the men on both sides, leaving peyton in the outside perimeter.

“commodore, may i have a word?” peyton tried to get oliver’s attention while maintaining the grace expected of a lady in her volume and tone of voice.

“oh you poor girl, don’t you know how these work? the commodore, along with all the other eligible men here are expected to spend time with all the eligible ladies of the social season, to find suitable matches and the like. and well, you don’t quite qualify as eligible, wouldn’t you agree? and now it looks as though the commodore is going to be otherwise taken this evening.”

peyton recognized the voice of the woman who was called “anna” earlier as she tilted her head to where oliver was being half-dragged by a blonde woman in a blue frilly gown.

“my apologies, i didn’t realize. please excuse me.” peyton didn’t even recognize her voice as she bowed her head briefly and backed away until she felt she could safely turn around and make her exit. she didn’t hear oliver call out after her as she scurried away as fast as she could to the furthest corner of the ballroom.

she quietly snuck out and stopped to catch her breath. she felt as though she was about to either hyperventilate or break down into tears, neither of which was appropriate for the setting. in moments like this peyton wondered if she should’ve stayed with edward’s crew; at least out at sea, no pretenses were needed.

“miss peyton, i apologize for what happened. it was not my intention to leave your side and i had no interest in dancing with anyone else,” oliver said, appearing unexpectedly.

“it’s alright, oliver. this is your world after all and there are expectations everyone has of you. you should be seen dancing with those ladies instead of talking with me,” peyton said, forcing a smile on her face. “i’ll be alright.”

oliver took her hand. “come with me.”

peyton had to walk briskly to keep up with oliver’s strong, sure gait as he navigated them through another set of doors, down a narrow, winding staircase, and through a final door. he took out a key from his coat and let her inside the cool, quiet room.

“why do you have a key to this wine cellar?” peyton asked as she ran her fingers over the wine and port bottles lining the shelves.

oliver smirked. “let’s say i picked up a trick or two from the poseidon crew.”

he deftly plucked a vintage red and two goblets off the shelf, uncorking the bottle and pouring out a generous goblet for the both of them. peyton giggled softly as they clinked goblets, both downing their drinks in one go so oliver could pour them a second round.

peyton began swaying to the music from the ballroom that was wafting through the air ducts and crack in the door. oliver grabbed her goblet and set it beside his on the table before extending his hand out to her.

“miss bellamy, would you do me the honor of giving me this dance?”

“i should warn you – i’m not much of a dancer. they didn’t cover much more than the basics in my acting classes,” peyton said, tentatively placing her hand in his.

“i’m not sure what would be covered in this ‘acting’ class of yours, however, i’ve had extensive ballroom dance training for as long as i can remember. although i’m a bit out of practice since i’ve been at sea for years now.” he placed his other hand at her waist as peyton rested hers on his shoulder. “take one step. and keep your eyes locked on mine.”

she looked up and flushed under his gaze as he led her around the confined space and peyton was floored by how graceful he was. for someone out of practice, he made her feel like she was gliding across the dusty wine cellar floor.

“just follow my lead, every turn will be safe with me, i promise,” he reassured her warmly as he began twirling them faster in time with the music.

peyton felt herself begin to relax until the only thing on her mind was oliver. in his arms, she didn’t feel afraid of anything since she knew he would catch her, no matter what. as though having such thoughts tempted fate, peyton’s shoe caught on a crack in the stone floor and she felt her body start to fall backward.

before she could react otherwise, oliver moved his other hand to her hip and twirled her through the air, letting her weight rest against him as she regained her footing. peyton couldn’t tell if she was feeling incrementally warm from oliver’s proximity or the drinks she had before, considering she hadn’t had anything to eat since lunch.

“oliver, i—”

“miss peyton, i will always catch you,” oliver interrupted, his blue eyes boring into hers. “i never thought i’d find someone like you in a million years and i’ll be damned if i ever let you go.”

peyton surged forward to capture his lips in a kiss. she wrapped her arms tightly around his neck, standing on her toes and pressing herself against him so oliver would have to wrap both hands around her back to keep them from falling. his fingers ran up and down the laces of her dress and she bit his lower lip gently, delighted at the soft moan she elicited from oliver’s throat.

he seemed to catch himself and stepped back from peyton, a flush rising on his cheeks. he cleared his throat and smoothed the front of his waistcoast. “ah, my apologies, miss peyton, for getting carried away in such an improper manner.”

peyton stepped forward and ran her finger down the front of oliver’s shirt, stopping just as she reached the hem. “one day soon, commodore, you’re going to show me how improper i know you can be.”

she winked as oliver took an audible breath. “you really are going to be the death of me. we’ve been gone long enough, shall we?”

once again, peyton wrapped her hand around his offered arm, letting him guide her back to the ballroom. she noticed this time that he matched her pace step-for-step. and with every step together, she not only felt like she could get through the rest of the night, but also the rest of her life with this man.

* * * * * mentions: @robintora; @kelseaaa; permatag: @withbeautyandrage; @agentnolastname; @freckles-spangledvampire

#choices #pb choices #reposting for new blog #playchoices #oliver cochrane #oliver cochrane x mc #choices ds #distant shores #choices fanfic #choices fanfics #my writing #not twc #my choices fics #playchoices fanfiction

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rokutouxei · 3 years

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the wonder that’s keeping the stars apart

ikemen vampire: temptation through the dark theo van gogh / mc | T | [ ao3 link in bio ]

The challenge seemed pretty simple: to try to befriend the university bookshop's most sour employee, Theo van Gogh. As a literature major with a boatload of book recommendations on her back, it ought to be a simple task indeed. But as she uncovers what lies between Theo's pages, the more she finds it harder to become closer to him without having to put the feeling directly into words. What can she learn from Theo about what it means to stay—and how can she teach Theo about what it means to let go? | written for ikevamp big bang 2020!

[ masterpost for all chapters ]

CHAPTER 3 OF 22

“You started a book club with her?”

Arthur is dumbstruck. But he’s also dumb for having admitted that he was, in fact, listening in on her and Theo’s conversation at the counter, so now he’s nursing a headache from where his head met the wall when Theo had pushed a stack of books on top of him after she had walked away. Of course he was fully aware of where his co-worker was hiding all this time.

Theo crosses his arms and sighs. “It’s not a book club.”

“What?” Arthur cackles. “Care to explain that, when you’re doing exactly what book clubs do? Read books and share them with each other?”

“‘Clubs’ imply more than two people,” Theo answers, trying to keep his voice even when he, too, knows the reasoning is faulty at best.

“With the number of heart eyes she’s got for you, it ought to count as another person.”

Theo sighs. “Arthur, I’m going to ask you a favor.”

“You know the cost of that.”

“Yes, so let me owe you one, and shut the fuck up.”

“Aww, buddy—”

Theo’s expression shifts into something menacing.

“Arthur.”

Theo wishes it were just a book club.

That way, all they will have to do is talk about books and maybe engage in some intellectual discussion about said books. Then they go home.

But it’s more than just a book club.

(This is the beginning of Theo learning that it’s always ‘more than’ when she’s involved.)

It’s Saturday now, and Theo has just gotten out of his 3-hour long lecture. It’s considered to be one of the more complicated, higher-level business classes in his course, but…Theo doesn’t really have any strong feelings about it. It’s okay. It’s the second to the last subject he’ll have to take before he can finally proceed to his thesis-writing class… and Theo is rather eager to get this finished already.

…Well, no, he’d rather focus on helping his brother out since he can, since Vincent comes above all things, but the one agreement for him to keep his scholarship despite not taking a full load of units is that he had to take at least three units—one subject—each semester. He wasn’t going to say no to the demands of a scholarship and free tuition, so he takes a subject once a week—on his day off from work—and takes the rest of the day recovering from the long week of working retail.

But that’s about to change.

He doesn’t know what he’d done to end up in this position—well, maybe he does, and what he did was agree to work with Arthur, of all people—but now he’s here. Instead of relaxing on a Saturday afternoon, he’s picked up under his “care”—or whatever one would like to call it—a rather eccentric literature department girl, and there’s no turning back from that. Once she texts Vincent (not him, because why would he be giving away his phone number like that?)—

[ 2:38 ] Hi Vinny! Can you tell Theo I’ll meet him at the Grove at 4?

he knows he’s got no choice but to follow through with his word.

Unfortunately for him.

(And fortunately for his curiosity.)

It’s the first official day of the book club; the only agenda is to swap books. For the very first book, they’d agreed to read a wildcard from the other, any book they’d want the other to read. He’d considered two possible options—either giving her a book that’s entirely for the joke of it, one that he’s either neutral to or did not particularly enjoy; or giving her a book that’s genuinely interesting to some degree or another. He’d flipped a coin—and gotten tails—so he’s got slung under his arm his copy of Neil Gaiman’s Good Omens.

“Theo! I’m over here!”

She waves from underneath the shade of a tree. Her dark brown hair falls in gentle curls, tied half-up with a ribbon as it always is. She’s wearing a cream top and a long brown skirt, matching with the rest of the place. And she’s even laid a picnic mat down. That… was not part of his expectations. He shakes his head and sighs a little as he heads toward her.

She cocks her head to the side. “What’s with that expression? Don’t want to spend time with me?”

“No,” he answers bluntly, though it doesn’t sound that true.

She laughs the same way Arthur does when he figures Theo out. Theo begins to have a growing dread of what kind of “friendship” he’s building with this girl—and how maybe Arthur had planned all of this to begin with: a partner to bring Theo into misery. “C’mon now, take a seat. It’s a great fall afternoon.”

And true, it is. It’s still rather early in the season so it’s not too cold, but the campus is already beginning to fill in with the classic fall colors. There’s a wind that’s gently passing by, shuffling the strands of her hair that’s tied half-up rather neatly.

The Grove is, despite its name, not in fact a grove, but rather an open park in the middle of campus, surrounded and dotted by large trees that serve as great shade in the summer and also rather beautiful in the fall. There are benches and tables here and there, allowing it to be a great spot to study for the students, but it truly is a different experience to hang out there with a picnic mat, looking up at the blue sky—whether in the day or at the night. The Grove is also one of the quieter portions of the campus, which, Theo begrudgingly agrees, makes it a good place to hold discussions about books.

“Aren’t we just going to exchange books?” Theo asks, but he’s already heading down toward the very classic red and white checkered picnic mat.

Her voice is undeniably disappointed. “Wait, you were serious about not wanting to spend time with me?”

“Don’t you have anything better to do?”

“Besides make friends? No. It’s a Saturday.”

She’ll be at the bookshop tomorrow again anyway, as she is every Sunday… he could have just given her the book then, and vice versa. Did she invite him all the way here just to… hang out with him?

Oh boy, what did Theo get into?

“You really should find a better hobby,” Theo says, as he takes a seat a foot away from her on the mat. She’s leaning on her wrists, her arms behind her, looking up at the clear fall sky, watching the clouds. She grins when she hears it but doesn’t turn toward him.

“Did you know,” she begins, “that’s also exactly what Arthur told me when I said it’s probably nice to make friends with you?”

“Arthur says useless stuff a lot of times, but that was the one time you ought to have listened to him.”

She shrugs it off with a laugh before pulling out of her bag a thinly bound volume. “Book exchange?”

They both place the books they’d brought in between both of them. She has offered him a collection of poetry, titled No Matter the Wreckage, by an author named Sarah Kay. He hasn’t read this one. And by the look on her face, as she picks up the Gaiman volume, it seems like she hasn’t read the one he’s brought, either.

“You didn’t seem like the kind of guy who read fantasy,” she comments, as she’s reading the summary on the back page. “Somehow I’m not that surprised though…”

“Gaiman is a good author,” Theo only remarks, hand on the poetry book. “His worldbuilding is rather thorough.” Theo doesn’t read a lot of poetry anymore, but he used to—perhaps this is the time to come back to metaphor and symbol. …Not that business isn’t filled with that stuff as well, all double meanings and reading between the lines. “I’m not surprised you brought me a poetry book.”

“I mean, I’d love if you were to read Les Miserables with me for class, but I figured I wanted something not too aggressive on the brain for this, you know?” she comments. “Why’d you choose Good Omens?”

Okay, he didn’t expect that. But he couldn’t exactly say It was the seventy-fourth one on the shelf, which was the number I got when I ran a random number generator. He answers, instead, “The questions it asks about morality and fate are interesting.”

“I see,” she hums. “I’ve read some Gaiman, but not this one. I’m sure I’ll enjoy it.”

Theo thumbs through the poetry book idly, but not wanting his eyes to land on the poetry yet—he rather enjoys taking his time with books like these. “And why did you choose this one?”

“I like her poetry,” is the simple answer, but when he turns to give her a look, she continues. “The metaphors and symbols aren’t too expansive, too ‘deep’ to unearth, but they give the kind of dreaminess that I like about poetry.”

“That says a lot about you,” Theo snorts, and she pouts at him.

“And your book choice says a lot about you too,” she answers with a grin.

Theo thought he’d want to leave immediately. To hand the book, answer her questions, and then go. Maybe he can catch up and read that Alain de Botton book he didn’t have the heart to finish last week.

But interest had begun to grow in him. He hadn’t had someone so insistent in hanging out with him since he met Arthur. Not that Theo isn’t friendly—he’s part of a few business organizations on campus, although he’s not as active because of work—and he definitely has a handful of friends and acquaintances, but he can just tell it.

That she’s different.

So when she asks him, “Stay with me to read a bit?”, Theo doesn’t even think before he answers, “Okay.”

The weeks blur into one another like this. Sundays and Wednesdays, she comes to the bookstore to hang out. Her usual time, too. Arthur’s gotten into joking that maybe her wallet is thanking her now that she doesn’t have to pretend to want to buy something to come, but she does not deny nor confirm this. A lot of the time she does the same things anyway: come in, talk and chat with Arthur and Theo for a bit, and then hide away tucked in between the shelves scouring for books.

And it’s understandable, really, because the Dragon’s Hoard is the bookstore for this campus, after all. None of the other bookstores can compete with it.

If the campus’ most feared and adored physics professor (Isaac Newton) and the campus’ most voracious reader (Dazai Osamu) pledges to the bookstore’s greatness, she has no doubt about it.

(Them being her friends has nothing to do about that. For sure.)

The Dragon’s Hoard is popular on the campus for a few key reasons. One: the students have a discount if they can prove if the books are being bought for class, like in a syllabus or a professor’s official email. It’s not much and depends on what kind of book is being bought, but even a 5% discount on a book worth a month’s rent is already a lot for a struggling student.

Another reason it is popular is that it pretty much has a very actively rotating stock. That is, the books on the shelves constantly change every week, depending on the season or whatever is a hit as of late. (Of course, you can still ask for something in the back, if ever.) Most of the campus bookstores don’t take this much effort in keeping the shelves interesting—or have enough books at all to rotate them—so most of the bookstore connoisseurs (bookstore window-shoppers, really) enjoy coming into the Hoard to browse their books.

But perhaps the most important reason the Hoard is so popular is that the staff are known to be very well-read.

(This is exactly one of the reasons why she’s so interested in getting to drag Theo into a little book exchange.)

Interested in a specific genre but don’t know where to begin? Ask the staff—they’ll have a recommendation for you, tailored to your specific interest. Looking for a book whose plot you vaguely remember but not the title or the author? Ask the staff—they’ll either have it in stock or know it enough to be able to search for it and order it for you. Want to gift a friend a book but don’t quite know what will suit their tastes, and only have the vaguest of clues of what they might like? Don’t worry, ask the staff—they got this.

All of this happens thanks to the skillful eye of the bookstore’s main owner: a rich, middle-aged man who only lets himself be referred to as “Mr. Saint-Germain.” Said Saint-Germain guy is already an urban legend in the campus on his own because of his family’s supposed long history with the university and his silent influence on the school system but—that’s for another time. The thing with Saint-Germain is that he actually comes in to interview potential staff whenever they have a new hire, just to make sure they’re smart enough about books to actually qualify as a staff in the Hoard.

Sure, of course, she knows that Arthur qualified as well, and that’s why he’s in the store with that polo shirt with a dragon embroidered onto it, but—Arthur is different.

She knows Arthur from a class she was taking once; they’d both taken the same literary criticism class and were paired up for a project once. It’s how she got to know that he worked in the bookstore and—well, got to mooch out of his staff discount, sometimes. (“Please, you have to, it’s bigger than the student discount in this case?” “But just once!”) It’s not that Arthur doesn’t have a good literary taste, it’s just…

She feels like it’s a good, non-intrusive way to get to know Theo by reading the books he likes.

And asking him questions about it.

Is that so bad?

#the wonder that’s keeping the stars apart #ikemen vampire #ikevamp theo

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clan-sayeed-fic · 4 years

Text

Let me earn your trust (Kamilah Sayeed & MC)

Previous chapters: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12

Book: Bloodbound (property of Pixelberry Studios) Pairing: Kamilah Sayeed & MC: Amy (I do not own those characters, they're the property of Pixelberry Studios as well) Warnings: angst

Rating: Mature Author's note: I'm not a native English speaker, I'm sorry for any mistakes (feel free to correct me).

~ 2100 words

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Chapter 13

The next morning was harsh.

Especially for Amy.

Her head was the translation of pain. Her skull, even her brain felt like it could explode from the sore at any time. When she opened her eyes, she realized how hard it was to concentrate her sight while everything around was blending with each other. After the previous night, she was mad at herself for not keeping the curtains closed. The bright light was drilling into her head through her eyes without mercy.

Her muscles were in pain too. She felt like she had run a marathon last night. Legs, back, arms, everything hurt so badly. Let alone the stomach, which was threatening to return its content if she made even one fast move.

Amy tried to lift herself on her elbows.

With no luck.

She fell back on the mattress, letting out a loud sigh.

***

Kamilah was in her office. She was working since it was already afternoon. She tried not to think about what happened at night. It was hard because of the feelings, which kept coming back to her.

Finally, she heard Amy walking out of her room to the bathroom. Kamilah predicted that the girl would feel the consequences of the party. She drunk equally the same amount of alcohol as Lily, and even the newly turned vampire wasn't sober. The human body couldn't handle it very much better.

Amy took a long, cold shower, trying to wake her body up and wash away the alcohol as if it was even possible. Most of all, she couldn't find the courage to face Kamilah yet.

Amy remembered the most general part of the night, surprisingly. Especially the part when Kamilah had arrived.

After some time, she walked out of the bathroom.

When she stepped into the living room, the view made her gasp in disbelieve. Seeing all the mess that they had done together with Lily, it made her feel even worse than before.

"I prepared a black coffee for you," Amy was torn out of her thoughts by Kamilah's voice.

The woman was standing in the kitchen. She wore a long, light beige cardigan. Under it, she had a tank, white top. The trousers she wore were in the color of dark coffee. Amy had never seen her in such a casual outfit before, looking this good.

"Have you seen enough?" Kamilah made her realize that she was standing there this whole time, wordless.

Amy blushed a little, embarrassed. She stayed before this impossibly beautiful woman in her oversized shirt covering her upper body and half of her thighs. Under it, she wore basic shorts.

"Kamilah, I'm..." she finally tried to say something, afraid that her voice would not cooperate, but the woman interrupted.

"Drink the coffee, clean up this mess," she gave orders with a sharp voice." When you do everything, we can talk in my office."

Kamilah made her way to the mentioned room.

Amy's jaw dropped.

Was she invited to her office?

How badly did I mess up this time, Amy thought before getting to work.

***

Amy cleaned up everything. It took her some time, mostly because of her head hurting so bad during gathering empty bottles, which made enormous noise for her ears.

Amy lifted her hand, ready to knock to the doors of Kamilah's office when they suddenly opened by themself.

"Come in," Kamilah said, not showing herself.

Amy gulped and walked inside. She couldn't stop her curiosity and look around to see all those incredible artifacts hanging on the walls.

The room was spacious, different from everything she saw in Kamilah's penthouse and company building so far. It wasn't as modern decorated as the rest of her place for sure. It was way much cozier and made in an old-fashioned style. In the center of the room was Kamilah's desk made from pure wood. By the walls, Amy saw a large wooden bookcase filled with books, folders, and notebooks.

"Sit down," Kamilah said, closing the doors behind Amy's back.

Amy wanted to sit on the chair near the desk. She was prepared for the tough talk.

"I meant on the couch," Kamilah showed the light beige furniture standing near to the bookcase.

"Oh," Amy mumbled and moved there.

Kamilah sat on the other side of the couch, staring into Amy's eyes like she was trying to read her mind.

Amy's body tensed up, and she started to shiver lightly. She sat differently, pulling up one leg, hopeful that it would help to stop the trembling.

Kamilah touched her knee gently, trying to calm Amy's body.

"I don't mean to harm you," her eyes showed sadness and distance.

Amy's brows furrowed. Why was she changing moods like that? Why was she trying to be kind to her? Kamilah removed the hand from her knee, acting insecure.

"Kamilah, I wanted to apologize," Amy tried to not fall apart under the woman's gaze, "I didn't mean this party to go so far. I want you to know, I have never been this drunk in my entire life, it's not like me." She would keep on explaining herself if she wasn't stopped by Kamilah's hand gesture.

"You cleaned it, right?" The woman asked.

"Yeah, I did, of course," Amy answered quickly.

"Then, it's behind," Kamilah said. "I want to clarify what happened after. Amy, I've never intended to take advantage of you."

So that's bothering her so much, Amy realized, shocked.

"Oh my god," Amy buried her face in hands, blushing. "I would never think about it like that," she lifted her gaze with difficulty, feeling ashamed by this talk. "I actually started it. Well, I was drunk... but not unconscious, right?"

"I still should have restrained my desires," Kamilah's eyes found Amy's after she stopped avoiding her gaze.

"Your's..." Amy repeated, swallowing between words nervously, "desires?"

Kamilah tilted her head to one side, making blood burn in Amy's veins.

"Why are you so surprised?" Kamilah asked with her deep voice.

"Uh," Amy's heartbeat increased, "I mean, it's you... and... me. That's so weird." She stood up, and suddenly she felt anger rising inside, "Why are you acting like it's your fault when it's clearly mine?"

Kamilah was sitting in the same place, quite surprised by Amy's change of tone.

"Because you cleaned up your mess," Kamilah started slowly, unknowing how to choose the right words. "And now I'm cleaning mine."

"Oh, so I'm your mess right now?!" Amy almost shouted, not feeling like herself. "Why I thought that you even cared?"

"I don't see the reason to raise your voice," Kamilah was losing patience. "I said that I cared. What I'm saying now is that I need to explain this situation."

Amy brushed her blonde hair with fingers, frustrated.

"You don't understand, do you?" Amy looked into her eyes, hurting, "I need you to be mad at me, about how I broke your rules after you agreed on inviting Lily." Her voice sounded desperate. "What I don't want is you to be angry at yourself for my own decision.''

Amy's attitude changed from confident to vulnerable in the split of a second.

Kamilah sat there for a moment, speechless. Amy's words triggered her mind. They reminded her about information which Adrian shared with her last night.

That it was Amy's decision too, not telling the whole truth.

"Well, I am angry," Kamilah said, reliving her disappointment. "Why would you lie to us?"

That was the most unfortunate moment to pull out this discussion. Kamilah wasn't great at talking at all. And she was even worse when it went to talking with delicate humans.

"What?" Amy was thrown off by this change of subject.

She knew exactly where this conversation was going. And what Amy knew too, was that she would not answer this question at such a moment.

"Who are you for real?" Kamilah stood up, her arms crossed.

"Amy..." the girl felt blood rushing away from her face.

"Stop it," the woman frowned. "I know that's the lie, and I don't think that we deserved these lies after everything." Kamilah was talking in the plural while what she really had in mind were her own hurt feelings.

"After everything?!" Amy yelled, defending herself. Her head spinning, the hangover was not done yet. "You mean, after imprisoning me in here?"

"How dare you," Kamilah's eyes became red from anger. "You could have lived here like it was your life. I gave you a place to sleep, food, work."

"Oh, and you even gave me your time to earn my trust, right?!" This time Amy won in the battle of words, making Kamilah uncertain. "Yeah, you heard me good, these are your own words."

That's when it hit Kamilah. She gulped nervously, losing her previous confidence. The color of her eyes went back to normal.

Kamilah reminded herself when she gave Amy a job of taking care of her schedule. It was at her company during one of those days when they worked together.

She gave her a notebook. The notebook, where she wrote something that she forgot about as soon as Amy moved in. Something that was no longer a task for her.

That she needed to earn her trust.

"Amy, I..." Kamilah didn't know what to say, what could she say anyway at this point?

"I'll make it easier for you," Amy turned around and stormed out of her office, heading to her own room.

Kamilah followed her, stopping outside of the room because the curtains were still opened.

Amy moved quickly, changing her shorts to the full-length jeans. She hid her stuff into the backpack. Since she didn't have much of her own things, it didn't take a lot of time to do so.

After that, she walked past Kamilah, making her way to the elevator.

"What do you think you're doing?" Kamilah couldn't stop her astonishment.

"What does it look like?" Amy answered with a growl.

Kamilah could have done something. She had her vampire speed and strength. It would be a piece of cake for her to grab the girl and imprison her in this penthouse. To manipulate her into staying here. To do to her things that she did to other mortals in her worst time of being the vampire.

But she did nothing.

Kamilah felt powerless for the first time in her long life. Both: as a mortal and the vampire.

The only thing she was able to do was standing there. And watching how Amy was slowly disappearing from her life.

Or, disappearing just as quickly as she appeared in it.

Amy walked into the elevator and turned around to face the woman this one last time. Words were escaping from her mouth filled with hurt.

"Oh, and by the way, your plan worked on me," her eyes watering before saying out loud the hardest part. "Thinking that I almost fell for you."

With these last words, Amy left Kamilah alone with her thoughts.

The woman stood in front of the elevator doors a long time after.

Not able to make a move.

Her mind was repeating the only question that she could think of at that moment.

What did she say?

***

Amy walked on the pavement, sobbing quietly.

How could she have been so stupid to let Kamilah into her life? For some time, Amy believed that Kamilah might open up to her one day. And the only thing the woman was really interested in was Amy being a Bloodkeeper.

Or actually, only the Bloodkeeper part.

Amy wrapped her arms around, trying to calm herself and stop crying. Damn, she hated crying so much.

That's when the coldness hit her. The wind picked up, lifting her hair. Amy heard a car driving in her direction. It started reducing speed as it got closer to her.

"Do you need a lift?" Amy heard a man's voice asking her.

"No, thank you, I'm good," she answered without looking at the person.

The car outran her and stopped a few meters ahead.

It was not an ordinary car, but a black limousine to be precise.

Amy kept walking, not wanting to show any hesitation. When she lined-up with the limo, the back doors opened, and she recognized the man sitting inside.

"Are you sure? It's freezing outside, and it's in my best interest to keep the citizens safe," he smiled charmingly.

Amy stopped for a moment, rethinking what she should do.

Perhaps the great timing was the most responsible for her decision.

The fact that she was so broken at the moment and needed to talk to someone immediately.

And the voice from the person sitting in the car sounded so tempting in her head.

Screw this, Amy inhaled deeply and got inside the car.

"Will you tell me who broke your heart, my friend?"

Adam put a hand on her shoulder, reassuringly.

Next chapter: 14

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tag list: @onyxgaytrash, @lightning-fury, @scarlet-letter-a0114, @caliseds

#kamilah sayeed #kamilah x mc #kamilah #bloodbound kamilah #bloodbound #bloodbound mc #bb kamilah #choices bloodbound #choices bb #choices stories you play #choices fanfiction #choices fic #vampires #bloodkeeper

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mrfunnybone · 4 years

Text

THE POSITIVE & NEGATIVE; MUN & MUSE - MEME.

FILL OUT & REPOST ♥ This meme definitely favors canons more, but I hope OC’s still can make it somehow work with their own lore, and lil’ fandom of friends & mutuals. Multi-Muses pick the muse you are the most invested in atm. TAGGED BY: Stolen from @battleshell TAGGING: @ladydreemurr @wdvoided @puzzlebones @flametendingbartender, @the-judge-of-bones @witchandateashop, and @bravest

MY MUSE IS: CANON / oc / au / canon-divergent / fandomless / complicated

Is your character popular in the fandom? YES / NO. [Some would say overly so.]

Is your character considered hot™ in the fandom? YES / NO / IDK. [ somehow...yes? Apparently?]

Is your character considered strong in the fandom? YES / NO / IDK. [ Yes. Most players agree that Sans fight is one of the toughest in the game, and the Gaster Blasters do pack a punch.]

Are they underrated? YES / NO / IDK. [ Underrated? Certainly not. Overrated? Hmm..]

Were they relevant for the main story? YES / NO [Hot take, but as of now, there are no CANON facts 100% supporting the idea that Sans was tied to main story plot elements. If you took him out, the actual story wouldn’t change much, you would just go straight to Asgore’s fight. ]

Were they relevant for the main character? YES / NO / THEY’RE THE PROTAG. [ Sans is one of the main monsters that the MC interacts with, and acts as the Judge near the end of the game, which reveals a lot of unknown information to the MC.]

Are they widely known in their world? YES / NO. [ The scene in Grillby’s seems to suggest that, at least in Snowdin, Sans is well-known and well-liked.]

How’s their reputation? GOOD / BAD / NEUTRAL. [ While fellow Grillby customers and a few other Snowdin residents seem to like him, he’s also seen to irritate other characters with his laziness, bad jokes, or shenanigans. Even Undyne admits that she’d fire him, but he always manages to do the bare minimum to avoid it being justified.]

HOW STRICTLY DO YOU FOLLOW CANON? — I do! Though I also offer my own spin on San’s backstory and my own interpretation of canon hints.

SELL YOUR MUSE! AKA TRY TO LIST EVERYTHING, WHICH MAKES YOUR MUSE INTERESTING IN YOUR OPINION TO MAKE THEM SPICY FOR YOUR MUTUALS. — Jokes in the face of nihilism and a juxtaposition to the field of science, Sans is full of contradictions in a fairly entertaining and interesting way. He appears to be incredibly intelligent, but talks and dresses like he’s any ol’ joe. He appears to have symptoms of depression but still acts fairly chummy. He is both one of the hardest fights you’ll apparently face and yet only needs one hit to be defeated. Sans apparently cares for nothing and yet also holds his brother in very high esteem. He appears difficult to get close to, yet he bonded with a stranger over bad jokes and kept a promise to her even though he never even knew her name. Sans can be defined by both what he is and what he appears to be.

NOW THE OPPOSITE, LIST EVERYTHING WHY YOUR MUSE COULD NOT BE SO INTERESTING (EVEN IF YOU MAY NOT AGREE, WHAT DOES THE FANDOM PERHAPS THINK?). — Sans is credited with far more than he’s actually due by the fandom. He doesn’t seem to really care for you, the player, like Toriel or other monsters do. He’s not a hero, past or present, like Gerson or Undyne. He doesn’t really help avoid the player getting hurt or captured like Papyrus does. He doesn’t push the plot forward and he doesn’t take action; as a character, Sans is purely reactive, and if he were the Main Character, that would be a huge flaw.

WHAT INSPIRED YOU TO RP YOUR MUSE? — I first joined the Tumblr RPC as a Frisk RP Blog, way back in the day, and that was because I stumbled across a Sans RP blog that I found very interesting. This character that I had largely not put too much thought in during the game suddenly had a very complex narrative and I loved reading his dialogue (it didn’t hurt that the mun was clearly a talented writer). Eventually, I realized I wanted to try my hand at writing him too, and so I started my own Sans RP blog.

WHAT KEEPS YOUR INSPIRATION GOING? — you guys. The fandom, the artists, the other Sans/Undertale RP blogs, the fanfiction authors— when I start getting bored or stale, you suddenly present this indie game, and by extension Sans, in a new angle that draws me back in. Thank you.

SOME MORE PERSONAL QUESTIONS FOR THE MUN.

Give your mutuals some insight about the way you are in some matters, which could lead them to get more comfortable with you or perhaps not.

Do you think you give your character justice? YES / NO / I SINCERELY HOPE I DO? [ Some of my old favorites in the Sans RP game, I think, did a bit better job of consistently getting his character right. Still, I hope I give him justice too.]

Do you frequently write headcanons? YES / NO / SORT OF?

Do you sometimes write drabbles? YES / NO

Do you think a lot about your Muse during the day? YES / NO [ Often! When I’m actively writing him, anyway.]

Are you confident in your portrayal? YES / NO / SORT OF? [ I am! Like I said, I think there have been others who did it better, but I wouldn’t say my portrayal is bad.]

Are you confident in your writing? YES / NO. [ Most of the time! Sometimes I get writer's anxiety, and it doesn’t help that Tumblr gets me at my rawest. I have no editor, my posts normally receive just a brief proof-reading, and I’m sometimes experimenting for the first time with a particular genre/scene/style. I wouldn’t point to all of my writing here as my best or strongest work, but I can write solid stuff.]

Are you a sensitive person? YES / NO. / SORTA. [ I wouldn’t say I’m sensitive in terms of people criticizing me, personally, but I am sensitive to other people. When something bad or unfair happens to someone, I usually feel upset for them. It can get very emotionally exhausting.]

DO YOU ACCEPT CRITICISM WELL ABOUT YOUR PORTRAYAL? — I would say so! In general, I’m used to critiques for both writing and art, as I’ve taken courses that incorporated both heavily.

DO YOU LIKE QUESTIONS, WHICH HELP YOU EXPLORE YOUR CHARACTER? — Absolutely!

IF SOMEONE DISAGREES TO A HEADCANON OF YOURS, DO YOU WANT TO KNOW WHY? — Not necessarily! I’m always interested in hearing different takes, but if someone said, “I don’t agree,” and didn’t follow up with an explanation on their own, I wouldn’t ask for one.

IF SOMEONE DISAGREES WITH YOUR PORTRAYAL, HOW WOULD YOU TAKE IT? — Kind of the same as above. I would be interested in hearing why if they offered up why, but otherwise, I’m not really going to ask because they don’t OWE ME an explanation. For example, I like a lot of books, and I don’t like a lot of books, and that’s not really a judge of their quality as much as it is my own personal taste. Number one rule as a writer, you have to learn and accept that your stuff won’t appeal to everyone.

IF SOMEONE REALLY HATES YOUR CHARACTER, HOW DO YOU TAKE IT? — I get it, haha. Characters that are hyped up like Sans are easy to get annoyed by. Even if he wasn’t hyped up, though, again, it makes sense that someone wouldn’t like him. Just like a book, a character can’t appeal to everyone.

ARE YOU OKAY WITH PEOPLE POINTING OUT YOUR GRAMMATICAL ERRORS? — Please do! It’s embarrassing when I catch them later, hahaha.

DO YOU THINK YOU ARE EASY GOING AS A MUN? — I think so! I try to be, anyway. Sometimes I worry I’m too casual with slipping into IM’s or commenting on posts, but so far I don’t think I’ve scared anyone off, so that’s good.

#TBT #|| memes ||#|| character analysis ||

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tsubaki3192 · 4 years

Note

Oh I’d really love to read the aquarium HC’s!!! They sound superfun. And I am curious about the Nicknames with Mitsuhide. An idea for that: MC wants another nickname, one that’s not little mouse and they try out different ones but they all sound wrong and they end up at little mouse again?

Nicknames

[Mitsuhide x Reader]

———————-

Tags: @tsuki-no-usagiii @wingardium-letmefuckyou @unstoppablelinda @zavannahmj

Let me know if you want to be (un)tagged?

———————

Notes: OML I APOLOGISE DEEPLY FOR HOW LATE THIS IS… I SWEAR I DIDN’T MEAN FOR IT TO TAKE THIS LONG-

So, uh, what happened was I started writing, went WAY off tangent to both my original idea and your request, came back to a full circle… Before realising I should’ve just rewritten it altogether… If anyone actually wants to read the other fic, well, I’ll post it xD

I feel like such a shitty author… ALSO I may or may not have been watching Stray Kids “The 9″ season 5 and suddenly had an idea-

–—————

Other comments: So, uh, I think I’ve decided to completely scrap the aquarium headcannons altogether and I’m actually really sorry about it as it was the very first thing I started when thinking about Ikesen.

So I want to apologise once again to @wingardium-letmefuckyou and to everyone else who wanted to read the headcannons, but I truly have no idea how to write it…

….. Okay that’s enough from me, I guess! Here’s the long-awaited fic xD

——————————

“How many times have I told you not to call me a ‘Little Mouse’?!”

Your footsteps stormed against the floorboards as you made your way back to your room, leaving Mitsuhide to stare at your back and baffled at your outburst. Hands clenched in tight fists to your sides, you brushed past an equally (if not more) surprised Masamune before reaching your room and slamming the door shut.

“What just happened…?”

You were livid and that was something new. Usually and normally, you were rather docile and that was one of the many things that had initially attracted Mitsuhide to you. (Your inability to use violence was another, but that perhaps merely further worried him whenever Nobunaga brought you to the battlefield.) Nevertheless, your rambunctious yelling and anger had caught the attention of the many castle’s residents, including a particular mother-like warlord and the right-hand-man of their lord.

“How many times must I tell you to not make her-”

But the flickering expression on Mitsuhide’s face, one of rejection, caused Hideyoshi’s words to falter at the back of his throat. Simply speaking, the said caramel-haired warlord had forgotten just who Mitsuhide’s sole weakness was: You. And he could only sigh, placing a hand on your lover’s right shoulder comfortingly.

——–

It hurt.

It really did.

You weren’t sure what brought it up, nor the reasoning behind your anger, but there was nothing you could do anymore. You had lashed out at him, and that was that. To be fair, it was a lover’s spat of sorts- not that you and Mitsuhide got into that many. You would always come to an agreement of sorts; somewhere in between both your suggestions. More than often, it would be in regards to the time and dates of your… well, dates, so this would be the first time you had ever needed to compromise over the whole nicknames thing.

The truth was, you really didn’t mind what he called you. Yes, you were willing to admit, there were times where the nickname could be considered as condescending but you were also willing to admit that you were also naive in many different ways.

Huffing quietly, you plonked down on your still-unrolled futon and brought your knees to your chest. Your arms, however, had found it’s way to the covers you and he shared, pulling it up and over your nose.

You would be lying if you ever thought his scent didn’t calm you.

Sandalwood. Gunpowder. Cinnamon.

….Well, okay. Maybe the last one was impossible, granted you didn’t know exactly when cinnamon had arrived in Japan but the scent was there nonetheless.

But the pain, guilt and regret from your words was enough to send tears running down your face. Truly, you wished you hadn’t said what you had to him. It was his one day of relaxation; a day where he could fully spend time with you, the only woman he promised he would ever love.

And you’ve just gone and ruined it.

“(Y/N).”

You could hear Mitsuhide’s voice on the opposing side of the door through your somewhat quiet whimpers… Which meant, you had come to learn, he could also hear you. Stifling your sobs, you called out to your boyfriend, allowing him to enter the room. You burrowed your head in the covers, hoping you could hide your tears from him… Even if you knew it was simply impossible.

“My dear, will you look at me?”

Mitsuhide placed a gentle hand on your head, brushing your hair behind your ear and allowing the strands to glide through his fingers. The same fingertips made it’s way to the soft curve of your cheek and down to your hidden chin. His whole palm was on your cheek now, as he gently coaxed you from your hidden position behind the comforter. You abided, sinking into the touch of his warm hands as he gently wiped the hot tears from your cheeks.

“As observant as I am, I wasn’t aware you didn’t enjoy the nickname.”

Prick.

As prideful as the statement was, it succeeded in eliciting a giggle from your lips. Your hands found it’s way out of the blanket and began roughly wiping at your tears, laughing dejectedly at the situation.

“The thing is, I really don’t mind. Really.”

You shook your head, resting your damp forearms against your covered knees and your chin against your forearms. But he just knelt in front of your slightly rocking self, raising his other arm to fully cup your face. Gently placing his forehead against your own, his nose nudged against your own- a rare Mitsuhide Eskimo kiss.

Your eyes had instinctively closed on it’s own, allowing the final droplets of tears to escape the corners of your eyes.

One. Two.

Raising his forehead from your own, he pressed his lips against the corner of each eye.

Please don’t cry.

And again his head rose even further, pressing a slow, loving kiss against your forehead.

I love you.

When he finally removed his lips from your forehead, you rose, stumbling, as you regained the strength in your knees from the tight pull towards your chest. Expressionless, golden eyes watch your stance, offering a single hand when you stumbled. He pulled you towards him as you settled yourself in his lap; his legs now crossed before him.

“My love,” he utters, his low, silken voice soothing your trembling self, “had you truly despised the name, you would have informed me early on.”

Your head bobs up and down, agreeing quietly with his statement. Your arms wound itself around his neck, drawing him impossibly closer. And Mitsuhide could only chuckle, pressing another kiss against your left temple as he inhaled the scent of your hair.

“Now, apologies for the sudden curiosity, but I would like to know the terms of endearment men use in your time-”

His arms rested loosely around your waist, fingers clasped together at your spine. His thumbs however, had found that aching knot in the centre of your spine and pulsed gently to release the discomfort. Your lips fell into that of a content sigh, though he could still sense the racing of your pulse that only continued to rise as he continued to probe about your previous lifestyle.

Anything to hear your melodious voice, right?

But he was serious when he said he wanted to hear the terms of endearment lovers gave one another in your time. Changing names wasn’t a huge issue in his mind- people could easily be renamed, after all- but if this was what you truly desired, he would have no qualms in doing so.

After all, if his princess wasn’t happy, how could he be?

Whether or not you did mind what he called you, you responded to his question rather hesitantly. It had taken a few moments for the names to rise to your mind: You were never one to date often, preferring to seek for a ‘Mr. Right’ before going on a first date. But your friends certainly had been, and so you had recalled the various names your friends had called one another… The generic ones, of course.

Mitsuhide only hummed in response, listening closely to your words as you spoke. He would need to test these nicknames out later, gauge your responses, before continuing on.

And today seemed to be just perfectly set up for him.

————————–

“Mitsuhide, where are you taking me?”

It was a futile question, given the smart-looking grin and the sly look in his eyes as you watched him. It was a futile question, knowing just how stubborn your man could be when he wanted to tell you next to nothing… Or when he wanted to keep it a surprise. And it certainly was a futile question as the direction he was heading in was that same, well-trekked path you usually took to his- and now your own- favourite teahouse. Yet you asked it anyway, hoping for some kind of response; any kind of response from the man who wouldn’t give in unless ordered to.

Even then you just smiled innocently beside him, all signs of your earlier anger- whatever the cause had been- dissipating with the early Springtime breeze. Your smile caught the eyes of the Azuchi citizens, as did your linked hands and the same, slight upturn of Mitsuhide’s lips. Your relationship with Mitsuhide hadn’t exactly been made public to the citizens, but the pleased state of both yourself and he was enough to assume.

And though they found it difficult to trust him, the fact that you were happy was enough.

“Come now, sweetheart.”

Tripping, you swore you had heard him wrongly.

Say what now-?

“Babe, there’s not much longer before we’re there. Did you require any assistance-?”

But you had once again zoned out. Impossible.

Granted you had your suspicions from his earlier questioning, but for him to carry it out… Your giggles and that seemingly painful blush was enough for your lover to press a gentle kiss against your burning forehead with a chuckle.

“My my, Princess. Had I known I would receive such wondrous reactions, I would’ve interrogated you earli-”

You slapped a hand over his mouth as your lips overturned into a slight pout, prompting another chuckle vibrating from that broad chest of his. And before you decided to storm off embarrassedly, you prodded him once in the chest with your alternate hand.

“Damn you, you…. stupid enemy of mine!”

Baffled, Mitsuhide couldn’t comprehend the term. And though he had quickly come to a conclusion that you were highly embarrassed by the pet name, he couldn’t help but grin at the irony of the name you had called him.

‘My enemy’… How fitting…

————————–

“Nooo~… Stop calling me those nicknames already!”

You see, as much as you enjoyed being called these names, there was that dilemma you had foreseen: That furious blush you had first made appear on your face several days ago had not yet faded, thanks to the sudden change in nicknames, and now you were actively avoiding your boyfriend. Naturally, with a man like Mitsuhide and his string of spies, hiding yourself was near-impossible and so here you were in the middle of a War Council, ‘hiding’ yourself in Hideyoshi’s right shoulder- much to Mitsuhide’s chagrin.

Face also buried in your hands, you pressed your forehead against the green haori you made for Nobunaga’s right-hand man. The man in question, however, just reached over his shoulder with his left hand and ruffled your hair comfortingly while Masamune and Nobunaga remained curled in hysterics, though the latter was somewhat closer to Mitsunari’s giggles.

Somewhat.

Ieyasu’s mutters didn’t help either. As grumpy as he usually was, the mild ramblings of “What a waste of time” and “Foolish couples” only spurred on Masamune’s laughter, the latter having had the timely luck of positioning himself beside the porcupine-like male.

“But sugar,” Mitsuhide continued, grinning, “Seeing your face simply brightens my day! Won’t you show it to me?”

“Nooo~”

If anything, your face was now pressed almost painfully against Hideyoshi’s back. As for how out of character Mitsuhide was, both you and he could honestly care less. If there was just one thing you could choose at this moment in time, it would be for your lover to stop calling you those sugary-sweet nicknames he knew you would never become accustomed to.

“Come now, Mitsuhide,” Hideyoshi began, shaking his head with an unmissable frown, “Surely that’s enough teasing?”

And the said male just chuckled, agreeing with the rhetorical question as reaching over to coax you from your ‘hidden’ position with the brush of his fingers to your hair and nape.

“Princess? Will you accept this humble soul’s apology-?”

But if you had anything against it, it was lost to the pearls of laughter and your trembling shoulders from Mitsuhide’s words. Just what part of him had a ‘humble soul’ again? As far as you were concerned, he was the most unorthodox warlord of them all… In his own way. (You had to admit, all the warlords you knew were unorthodox in their unique way.) I mean, how often do you see warlords carry out tortures on their own will? How often do you see warlords tease the way he does?

Mitsuhide was everything but ‘a humble soul’.

“Mitsuhide- love-” you wheezed between breaths of laughter, “Stop. Just stop, okay?”

Slapping your knee, you had unknowingly and audibly labelled your lover with a pet name selected on your own- something only Mitsuhide knew to be a mistake of yours. (You had long claimed yourself to be unable to call him by any other name than his own, after all.) But the other warlords- luckily- hadn’t taken notice, only smiling gently at the sound of your laughter.

Yet you padded over anyway, lips still tilted upwards as a reminder of your earlier fit of giggles, landing gently in Mitsuhide’s lap.

“Welcome back, little mouse.”

Though you had chosen to sit across his lap (rather than in his lap), your arms were wrapped around his neck and your face hidden in his right shoulder. And if it weren’t for the relaxed sigh and your overly-warm breath, he would’ve imagined that crimson blush drifting against his chest as his arms wound around your own. The sigh was one of comfort, he supposed, running his fingers through your hair and untangling what was knotted. Was it perhaps something to do with that old nickname he had brought back?

Ah, he chuckled to himself, I suppose I should question that later. There are more pressing concerns here, after all.

When the warlords were finally dismissed from their posts- granted, with open laughter from Nobunaga at the speed Mitsuhide had exited the room- the golden-eyed kitsune made a beeline to your shared room carrying you princess-style. Sliding the door shut with a talented foot, he settled you down in the futon gently and joined you, sliding a large, calloused hand in your own smaller ones.

“Princess,” he greeted, pressing his lips against your intertwined hands, “Will you look at me?”

Reverting your gaze, your eyes met his own, glittering deep with thought.

“Will the princess grace me with her thoughts?”

Your lips curled into a smile as you stared at the ceiling in wonder. Sure, you were willing to share your thoughts with him, though you supposed some form of teasing was required after everything he had put you through that week.

“And why should I?”

Crossing your arms, you huffed in false irritation though the small upturn of your lips spoke wonders. Teasing him in return was all you had wished for, but your fox-eyed lover had caught sight of that grin, along with that strange sparkle in your eye of the telltale cheekiness. And he played along, intertwining his opposing hand with your own and pushing you gently down to the futon below. His lips fell upon your own, greedily kissing you breathless. Panting quietly as he slowly raised his head, he took note of the sweet blush that had once again made it’s way to the curve of your cheeks.

“I was just thinking about how I’d much rather hear your nicknames for me, rather than the ones from… Well, my time.”

Mitsuhide’s chest just rumbled as his laughter- a true one- echoed through the room and sat up, pulling you into his lap.

“Of course, princess. Anything you ask for, you’ll receive.”

Pressing his lips gently against your forehead, you hummed against his chest in satisfaction. You didn’t need any of that. Any item Hideyoshi or anything else someone had given you was easily replaceable- something you had long since learnt. But it was he, that handsome, fox-eyed man that took your breath away; both literally and figuratively. It was he who managed to steal the one thing you initially weren’t willing to give- your heart- and that, solely, was what made him irreplaceable.

“I’ll never need anything more than you.”

The gentle squeeze around your waist was more than enough to tell you how he felt.

——————-

Bonus:

“Hm… If I recall correctly, you once called me “an enemy”. Care to elaborate? Hm?”

Cackling, your head tilted backwards as you, too, recalled the event. It was unintentional but the so-called term of endearment had suddenly come forth from the depths of your memory, prompting you to announce him as so.

There was no way in hell you would tell him just where you had learnt the name though. That much would be far too confusing for someone who knew next to nothing of modern shenanigans.

“That,” you wheezed in between words, “is a Korean pet name translated directly to Japanese.”

As Mitsuhide’s eyes narrowed playfully from opposite the table, you held your hands up in mock surrender, backing away slowly as he stood.

“I didn’t mean it, I swear-”

But it was far too late. Long, pale and calloused had reached your sides, digging and poking gently as peals of precious laughter left your lips from his form of torture, left specifically for you. Your eyes were shut tightly as tears peered through the corner of your eyes, missing the joyful grin-cross-smile on Mitsuhide’s face.

“I- oh god- I yield! Mitsuhide! I- I yield!”

———————————–

And whether for the better or for the worse, every single time Hideyoshi would proclaim your lover to be a traitor, albeit using the term ‘enemy’, you would snicker quietly, only to soon send yourself into hysterics at the sight of Mitsuhide’s lips curled upwards in that same look of amusement.

And as usual, the warlords glanced at each other utterly perplexed at the sight.

Oh, if only the warlords knew why your laughter was so sweet.

#Ikemen Sengoku #Mitsuhide #My writing #oh god this is so late #T^T #I'm so sorry guys #Request

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