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kicktwine · 3 years

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ask dump (big long)

1) ABDBHTDND YEAH THEY DID UM, they did the ”no THANK you..! etc etc BUT IM WEAK” song too! Wild how that is now. points at them hey I know those guys

2) OHHH….. THIS HITS……….. I like missio sometimes but this is a nice chorus also: Vanitas… yeah I, like, always love music recs. they can be hit or miss but it’s only fair with how much music I find and then immediately go what if I showed everyone

3) how many does he have in there now, eleven? Twelve??? He signed up for one mouse and he got eleven human children or at least nine to ten human children, two young adults, and two regular adults who aren’t going to be helpful—

4) aaaaaaaaa thank you!!! 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺

5) MMM I haven’t thought extensively about cowboys for a while… it’s been mostly space up here for now, haha. I like my space murder. But that’s not to say I haven’t given them some fond passing thoughts! Two bros sitting in a river 5 feet apart cos they’re covered in mud and smell awful and one of them is very loudly blaming the other for the plan that involved hiding behind a barn (actually the last thing I wrote in my notes is a mini totally unfinished drabble of hiding in Lea’s bar but the “great hiding place” Lea has is in his floor)

6) gosh I Have to wonder if it’s a case of destiny/universal “the nature of humanity is that every so often someone invents homestuck again” or if we just, like, had common knowledge of the book of prophecies. Or not even the Book, maybe, I have to assume that knowledge/observance of the Foretellers phased out pretty quickly, but prophecies left unfulfilled would linger for generations probably. Or maybe they’re even old stories, a tale of seven masters of the past drawn in to a chess game, or the game based on the old fairytales, or the numbers 7 and 13 are ingrained in local culture … see, because obviously Xehanort implies that this prophecy/old masters stuff ISNT common knowledge, but Eraqus CERTAINLY knows about it and it’s in all the architecture/local myths… ok but then also, if we’re to take the opening chess game as more than just clever symbolic narrative bookends, everyone’s symbols ARE right there. I just kind of registered that’s probably what you were talking about. In which case our questions are still there, how much did the common populace know and how much did eraqus know? Did he like, end up with three apprentices who had very distinct chess symbols as keychains and go uh oh john or what—

hey why’d you do this to me. I’m a tired college student in scala on my sixth response paper about the prophetic legitimacy of foreordained keybearers versus the self-imposed creation of destiny as following common legend and I’m arguing with some guy named Einar about how you can’t just fake a prophetic fulfillment by claiming to be the Crown piece in chess. You can’t just KIN A CHESSPIECE, Einar.

7) ABGDJGD TY..!!! To be honest they also live in my head rent-free! Some of them need to start paying rent because I’m supposed to be in school getting Better at storyboarding—

8) hard same hey thats just bc magnet is uhhhh. The best spell? Aside from mine spells

9) SEE AGAIN I DONT KNOW bc for one Sora obviously isn’t ENTIRELY unique, if he’s able to be diagnosed so quickly, but this “holding your nobody and two to four other people in there” kind of thing probably has never been seen before. But for another, Roxas and Xion have copied a keyblade. Just like — a keyblade? Copied entirely? Wild.

anyways keyblade manifestation is a mystery to me and I’d love to see it explored because what we know the Lore is, is this: they were fashioned after the likeness of the x-blade. They can be bequeathed to others (shown to not necessarily mean that exact keyblade is passed down, probably this means the ability to wield can be bequeathed). They can be WILLFULLY given. They come from the heart, they are not welded out of steel. They are…. questionably sentient, or maybe just sapient, or somehow are picky about who holds them. Side note khwiki is telling me things I Did not know about the whereabouts of Ven’s heart during 358 and also the ability to wield two which requires more than one heart obvi but which is named synch blade??? always question the wiki but these have sources. Anyways. Keychains can swap their forms so they have a Base and Custom Skins mode. There are three kinds, Light (common), Darkness (Michael mouse??? Not his bbs one the rod one which I GUESS is a counterpa Iiiiii am getting off trackaaaaa), and Heart (which I’m guessing is just the x-blade, maybe the gayblade, and the kh1 keyblade of heart??). Um. What was my point here. OH yeah I was just gonna say Bro Wild. This is completely a mystery to me. Does every keykid’s base form keyblade look different, and we were all just given cool keychains? Are there some kids who melded unique keychains? If I were connecting dots wildly and with reckless abandon I’d say yeah and also you cannot just suddenly one day wield one, you HAVE to be bequeathed, but as soon as that happens it sparks the creation of your own personal heart sword. Every keyblade is manifested independently — those wielding a family keyblade have the ability to summon their own, if necessary, but the family sword is taking up that space in their heart and theyd have to get used to making their own. since, it seems, keyblades (summoned) will die and solidify if their bearer dies, but keyblades (unsummoned) will either disappear or summon themselves somewhere else and retain a small piece of your… essence. A legacy keyblade, I feel, would be a little something like feeling every past Avatar and you are the avatar, but you can’t talk to them. They’re there tho. Also I think that having an exceptionally strong heart would be not only a moral requirement for ensuring the keyblade’s duty is upheld, but also a physical requirement! youre carving out a bit of your heart to make room for a sword. Weak hearts should not do that even if they want to.

aye… how was that longer than the scala answer? You got me on tangents again in these essays I

10 (submission from licilou22)

NGDBFDBFSHGDHFDHGDA 😎👉🏼👉🏼👉🏼👉🏼👉🏼 WHEEZING

#ask #MANY ASKS (10)#well 9 and a submission #anon #kh #oh to be a tired scala graduate student #oh to write thesis papers about keychains #anyways love u alll……. Thank u for asks #…… 💕💕💕👁👄👁#paopubell #rosie-kairi #licilou22 #infernal-fox #metazone

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highdwightofmylife · 4 years

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could you do some comfort hcs for dwight, jake and david with an s/o who seriously hates their body? (body dysphoria, but not gender dysphoria?) im feeling like that rn and im :’)

HCS For a S/O Who Hates Their Body

David King

Literally 100% baffled by your opinion. You tell him you hate your body and he just gives you this really confused look.

Literally does this.

The specifics on why you hate your body doesn't matter. You could give him a whole list for him to study and he'd still feel like he's trying to read ancient Greek because at the end of the day, he thinks you're the most attractive person alive.

You say you hate your body and he goes "are u blind"

Which I mean even if you were blind, doesnt matter. He'd say he sees enough of you to know you're cute enough for you.

If theres something you want to change about yourself, he'll act like it's a waste of time to start with. Because he doesn't think you need to change. But if you're insistent, if it really means that much to you and you arent comfortable in your own skin for sure, then he'll come around pretty quickly.

"I'm ugly," you say. "Oi love I'd still fuckin love u if u had the face of a baboons arse" "uh.... thank I guess"

Look okay he doesnt understand that some things he says dont quite sound like compliments but hes trying his best and he would love you regardless of how you looked

Dwight Fairfield

The moment he learns that you're not happy with how you look, his first instinct is to console you. To tell you that you're beautiful or handsome or whatever the fuck you are. And if you say you're not? He'll babble about how you're perfect to him until tears are literally streaming from his own eyes.

Mostly because he tears up thinking about how much he loves you anyway.

The boy is smitten ok.

What do you hate about yourself? Your hair? Dwight's not a licensed hairdresser but he's gonNA TRY JUST TO MAKE YOU HAPPY. Don't like your eyes? WEAR HIS GLASSES YOU CANT SEE EM ANYMORe

Basically he tries to provide you alternatives because although he knows that he loves you for who you are and how you look, he understands that it's harder to love yourself when you're so self critical. So he'll give you fun outlets to "temporarily" change while he showers you with affection until hopefully you'll finally listen to him that you're perfect.

He gains a habit of telling you something he likes about your appearance at least once a day. You're just doing your thing and he's like "did I ever tell you that your eyes are super nice"

Or he pets your head, giggles, gets flustered, and then mumbles that he likes the texture and feel of it. Could be soft. Could be rough. Doesn't matter.

Jake Park

"I think I look bad," you say to him. He just scoffs and, "well you're entitled to an opinion but I'm not above telling you that your opinion is fucking dumb."

It sounds harsh. It does. But Jake's humour and affection usually relies on dry sarcasm that you have to really pry deep into to actually find out what he means.

You're insecure at the campfire and Jake just groans and, "can someone just agree with me that Y/N is good looking jfc" and then several people will be like yea man

Which might embarrass you more but honestly. Jake doesn't care I'm sorry. He wants you to see that you do not look anywhere near as bad as you think you do and doesnt have the greatest way of going about it, unfortunately.

Literally one day he knows exactly what you're thinking and before you even say anything he just nuzzles down into your neck and "shut up you're perfect"

He is the king of shutting you down when you hate something about yourself. Regardless of what it is. He doesn't entertain the thought for even a second. He won't humour you, because he thinks you're wrong. So he outright tells you.

And he's a really honest guy too so when he says there's nothing wrong with you, he really means it.

"I hate myself," you say. "Why," he grumbles. "Because," you answer. "Not a valid answer, I'm revoking your opinion."

#dbd headcanons #jake park #dwight fairfield #david king #dead by daylight headcanons #sorry i took so longggg #dbd dwight #dbd jake #dbd david

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damonsexywifey · 3 years

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helo today i am going to be talking about daddy papi sexy icon Damon Salvatore. I know im fucking obsessed but this man makes my ovaries explode so i need some way to let it all out so here i go

first things first his mf looks

his eyes omfg his eyes he could stare at me and i would melt his bright blue eyes i already am quite a fan of pretty eyes but his eyes ive been obsessed for a very long time like wtf his eyes are so seductive and for what why do you do this to me huh damon why oh why HIS eyes omg when he looks at elena is with such care and love, id PAY for him to look at me like that HE COULD STOMP ON ME AND ID SAY SORRY AND THANK YOU ok now his little smirk oml when he did something bad he'd do his little smirk and i know it'd be very sociopathic of me to actually enjoy that but why the fuck did i get turned on by that why is he such a sex icon big dick energy is radiating I COULD LITERALLY BE WATCHING A SCENE OF HIM AND ELENA FLIRTING CASUALLY AND I'D BE SWEATING THAT WOULD FILL A WHOLE OCEAN I'D NEED TO PAUSE AND TAKE A BREATHER BECAUSE THAT MAN IS TOO MUCH FOR ME.

OMG THESE SCENES WERE SO EXCITING FOR ME, ID PAUSE AND JUST ADMIRE THE ELEGANT BODY OF THIS SUCH MAN AND THERE WERE SO MANY BATHROOM SHOTS OF THIS MAN HAVING A SHOWER LIKE I DONT BLAME THE DIRECTOR REPEATING THIS SHOT

WHY YOU SAY?? I MEAN LOOK AT HIM ITS NOT FAIR CAN I BE ELENA

SCREAMS SCREAMS UMM DONT BE SHY UNBUTTON MORE

OK NOW IVE DONE A LOOKS ASSESSMENT. IT IS OFF TO DO A PERSONALITY ANALYSIS BECAUSE HE COULDVE BEEN REALLY HOT AND HAD A DEAD PERSONALITY like matt (sorry matt ps i still love you) but no damon has not let me down with his personality so lemme talk about that

the fucking humour:

OK THIS IS JUST mf fragments to his smart ass humour but omg this guy is carrying the show with its humour, i find humour extremely attractive so him just being a little devilish sociopathic smart ass bastard boy is all i ask for and it was received, stefan is great lemme tell u that but one of the reasons its damon>stefan for me its maybe because i prefer playful characters who can quit the intensity and actually have fun so yea personal preferences come into this

Emotional:

my boy is very emotional, hes a vampire yada yada but he hasnt flicked the switch off of his humanity hes still a ball of fluff who tries to cover it up with spikes so he seems tough but some sad scenes you can see right through him like some above. The first one is him letting things pile up over and over again and its killing him in the inside hes such a cinnamon roll and all he needs is a hug and someone to tell him hes gonna be alright...can i plz volunteer to do that ✋

the second one was a scene that made go waaaaaaa and tear up because that was the scene when he was opening up about how he wants and loves elena but shes not hers, shes stefans around then. The fact hes showed as some type of dickhead but he could be rlly douchy and literally just steal her away from stefan but he doesnt because shes "brothers girl" aaa hes caring and it hurts how much he does and his sad scenes hurt, hes not bad hes just very broken inside.

Unapologetically Honest

one of the reasons i love about him is that hes just so mf honest which is ironic because around s2 its just elena calling him a liar anyways hes honest with a lack of apology which i feel like would be extremely necessary when theres a flock of bad guys always at your doorstep, sugar covered words aren't needed tbh thats where his honesty comes in

hes aware of himself and knows that he can be dickhead some way or another so its funny when hes aware kinda gives definition to his character being a self proclaimed dickhead

i stan alarics and damons friendship theres so mf honest with eachother, alaric could be getting emotional about his relationships and this man could just go "but they're dead.. *sips tea* " hes so unbothered theres something attractive about it

Romantic:

youtube

umm so i kinda forgot the post only allows 10 pics so you lot are lucky enough that u get a video

anyways im extremely attracted to intense romance rather than cutesy lovey dovey, this guy ticks the box for intense hes so mf sexy with like one touch can u explain this science to me BECAUSE THIS GUY SCREAMS SEX WTF AND I HAVE NO IDEA HOW ELENA CONTROLS HER SEXUAL DESIRES BECAUSE BITCH U SURE DO KNOW I'D DO ANYTHING THIS BASTARD WOULD TELL ME TO DO ANYWAYS THERE WAS THIS SCENE WHERE ELENA WAS WORKING OUT AND THIS GUY WAS TOUCHING HER RIBCAGE OR SOMETHING AND THE HEAVY BREATHING I'D PROBABLY FAINT IN HIS ARMS BUT THIS WOMAN HELD IT TOGETHER CAN HE PLZ TAKE ME ADOPT ME ILL LIVE IN UR HOME I'LL LIVE IN THE TINIEST PLACE IN UR HOUSE I DONT MIND ME I JUST NEED TO BE GRACED BY UR LOOKS the intensity is legit like fire to the skin, i blush and scream for elena im a literal pterodactyl screeching when he comes on screen with him naked and one towel covering his big dick i would write the director a mf big ass letter to persuade him to let damon walk in with no towel pls i beg cmon u can do it i know u want too

anyways overall damon salvatore is my husband papi daddy and i do admit i simp for him and hes hit me like a wrecking ball im on s3 for vampire diaries ill keep u lot updated if anything happens in my shift of simp but for now im kind of addicted to this bootylicious babe actually now i think about it what if i actually ever meet him or something id probably weep and faint yes that'd happen ill probably just stare and i dont blame him if he kicks me out for being a creep anyways uh this was my essay hope u lot enjoy because i sure as heck enjoyed screaming my burning passionate love for Damon Salvatore if someone was selling a damon salvatore in store id be the first one to purchase and i feel like i speak for the nation of damon simps ily babes because i totally understand this lust you have for him

anywho bye bye xoxoxo

#the vampire diaries #damon salvatore #obsessed #fandom #vampire #hot #sex icon #omg #quotes #humour #analysis #Youtube

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smallestclowninthecircus · 3 years

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Season 4 notes

Ep 121: mmmm tape recorder turning on without them knowing goes brrr. AAAhjhdsjfhjdf "do you mind if i call you jon" its like "can i call you elias?" is this the dream guy with the tendrils? who wants to bet the boat is captained by peter lukas? big man if it killed yall how are you still here. oh boy the tape is doin that thing. who do we think it is? did he wake up? hmm. ep 122: lol jon. 6 months!?!? bruh quit movin big man. he just Knows things sometimes you know how it is. nah b/c i can relate to feeling like other ppl/ things arent real, thats the biggest mood BUT i think it is kinda pretentious to entertain the idea that youre the only Real person. If you dont see a body dont believe it. i'll hold out hope for a bit. theres not a new archivist is there? surely i wouldve heard about that. oh god peter what changes did you make. ep 123: web development. hope its about spiders. she blames him. bruh why. if they hadnt done anything the world would've ended piss off melanie. why are ppl acting like he chose to be in a coma for 6 months. we know this they just appear. no longer "head archivist of the magnus institute, london" now he's just "the archivist" covered in spiders? cuz ik the spider has to do with controlling what youre doing and all this stuff but i cant think of how this connects to that. ep 124: ugh vertigo. is michael crew an old man? oooh. fairchild. how did he know it was martin? hmm. GRR I LOST MY NOTES AGAIN. FROM EPISODE 125 - part of 131. ep 131: bruh he's so hard to understand big man ur voice is so low. Jared Hotworth. the boneturner. "the ones i helped find their proper bodies" name a better top surgeon? our favorite trans ally? ep 132: woo field trip into the coffin! static lol. he says "chill out im just poppin in for a quick recall mission" is the rib thing actually gonna work? bruh it feels so odd and contrived but he's an odd man with some odd powers so idk. rip that archivist ayyy statement time. voices? recordings? are those tape recorders? was it the tape recorders? did they pull him back? i hope so b/c if the rib thing actually worked im gonna be so disappointed. ep 133: predicting the lonely? tundra. like the lukases. hmm. sanikova! like sanikov land. so its the hunt? i suppose? yeah. so daisy's clearly rejecting the hunt, which makes sense cuz she doesnt seem to like the entities that much. wait so are we just not gonna talk abt all the tapes playing on the ground?? no? ep 134: not an archival assistant anymore? Adelard Decker (or however you spell it) i recognize that name. 15th power. i was right there are 15. the extinction? im trying to remember what ive heard. oooh spooky. no i gotta be real i dont understand this fear but i'll believe you that its a thing. ew lukas is so squealy. lukas can turn invisible? oh boy. oooh martin put the tape recorders there. lol lukas is worried he's gonna be an avatar of the eye. ep 135: yoo its the third Daedalus statement! maxwell rayner (reiner? reigner?) i dont know who that is but ik its somebody. is he the cult leader guy? church of the divine host? 4 people?? what? did they kidnap somebody and keep them up there?? oh dear jon are you dying? did he try to See or Know or whatever? why does everyone call basira detective lol. ep 136: he was the one from the spider movie that ate ppl right? the special effects artist? is it annabelle cane? "its a joke jon" lol. hmm they wanted to record the therapy session with melanie? i wonder who that is. i almost wanna guess annabelle cane but im not sure. ep 137: this is the one! he went to the other place and read the war statement but it wasnt the one she took. not the music again. sounds like the slaughter. who the heck is eric lol. "the watcher's crown" like the crown of eyes we saw in the piccrew ep 138: oh boy Robert Smirk time. is that elias? as unhelpful as usual. if new powers can be "born" can others die out? did jonah magnus wear the watchers crown? maybe they were born from our fear or maybe our fears were born from them. ceaseless watcher does ceaselessly watch so. idk what you want

big man. yeah jonah for sure did something. ep 139: agnes!! lol that one dude threw off all their plans thats so funny. BUT this does tell us something. the tree in the backyard of the hilltop house? not made by her. it going down didnt kill agnes. im guessing gertrude tied agnes to the house using the tree? u good jon? cuz every time you try to Know smth intentionally it seems like it causes you great pain. how come he can do it accidentally with no problem but the second he wants to know smth of plot relevance he gets a headache or whatever ep 140: lol pagan exultation. classic. "oh thats my rib" lmaoo. ppl are always so mad at jon and his Eye powers except when it benefits them. they're like "oh you shouldnt do that its not right" and then all of a sudden they want to know something and its all "oh cmon jon its the only way" ep 142: oh god jon what did you do. its interesting she's giving her statement in the way that they do when jon Asks. did he see her in the Coffin? and so he's following her? ok cmon jon you're supposed to let them come to you. lmao ikr martin. "start to hear the blood" "suure." lmao ep 143: lol that awkward moment when gertrude is already dead. big J if you die im gonna kill you. bruh. ayo helen? i guess it worked? ep 144: lol this reminds me of that one edgar allan poe story where he kills the old dude with the weird eye. spooky music stuff. lol thats my favorite symptom of a heart attack its hilarious. so its smth abt the location probably? bro i feel like you should write down the numbers idk. 162830165049 564846474827. seems like the distortion? like the kinda thing that causes you to go crazy because of the numbers. oh boy is it the extinction again. bro what?? im?? his dad just died and he's like eh. martin dont be mean. he's being all lonely again. big man ur pushing ppl away. oh god its fucking squealy boy. ep 145: that almost sounds like breekon/hope... Arthur? agnes. aah was he from the lightless flame cult. a tree. lol he's just ranting rn. hehehe fuck landlords amirite. yay someone tells jon outright to go to therapy. now do it big man. ep 146: oh great! the distortion! i'm making a spiral themed building in mc right now! jon maybe accept you did a bad? nah this goes back to what i said before. they're fine with him compelling ppl when its convenient for them but otherwise its "no jon you cant, youre a monster jon" the tapes didnt turn on. i spose that means its not important? i agree with daisy, this seems unecessarily dangerous. ep 147: is that a tape? the first tape? well that went better than i expected tbh. BAHAKJASHDJKF she did the "can i call you jon" like nikola says "elias, can i call you elias?" damn annabelle is such a girlboss. oh! the one thing from the picrew. its been a while since ive connected smth to that. lol all the other avatars always talk abt their patron so lovingly and the jon just. absolutely hates the eye. ep 148: lol thats the most elias thing. "i just like the way it sounds" ep 149: did he disappear? bruhh. ur lonely powers are popping off i guess. oops i accidentally deleted my notes for 150 - 152 ep 153: thats the cult right? yeah. it doesnt sound like the church of the divine host? idk. if it is the church of the divine host then they worship the dark right? so is the eleventh the dark star or wtvr? it almost sounds like the corruption b/c of the oil or grease or whatever. oh dear what happened. oh its the hunters. theyre so annyoing. not an "it" he has a name. he's a person. is this a page from the skin book? ep 154: oh shit this is gerry's dad! oh shit he quit! oh dear god. jon don't you do it. haha martin. yeahhhh... is he gonna tell the others? cuz you know theyre gonna get mad if he doesnt. oh also picrew connection! the bandages over the eyes? yeah thats this im guessing. ep 155: oh good he told them. oh my god what did you do. lol i have no mouth and i must scream. nah you get none of my sympathy you're straight up murdering ppl. its like the desolation, destroying lives to sustain your own. ok but taking their statements doesnt

kill them. oh... bye melanie. ep 156: lmao imagine if the tape recorder spoke back. oh boy decker! i swear we got a statement from him already. oh god mirrors scary. They're gonna eat the body arent they. Yup... sounds like the flesh or the slaughter, but I'm not sure. Could be the extinction for sure. Smth at the center! Like Helen mentioned. God Peter you dick. Ep 157: peter's just so :/ another decker statement i see. a statement about the corruption? hmm. maybe its not abt the corruption. the extinction. lol pandemics. topical. John Amherst. helen? lol i can hear admiral purring in the background. oh cmon helen dont be like that. im trying real hard to like you but you make it so difficult. ep 158: did they fucking free the stranger? im gonna lose it. you absolute dumbass. im sorry who is that? jonah magnus? my guy. peter. you absolute dickhead. that's elias. (im p sure i had this spoiled for me that elias is jonah) oh dear this is her death. god peter you prick. i hope this is a pop off martin moment and not a "martin you idiot" moment. i hope the hunters kill the stranger entity. or she kills them. furry daisy pop off! yeah fuck you peter martin can make his own decisions. you know that clip from Twisted where jafar says "ok what the fuck was that" martin D: ok like i know its gonna work but still D: D: ep 159: peter you bitchboy. because if im alone i cant hurt anyone else. imnotgonnacryimnotgonnacryimnotgonnacry do it do it do it do it. pop off jon. ok its a pretty good idea for a ritual i gotta be honest. she didnt even have to blow it up lol. oh dear that was certainly a noise. "he gets you" did he not have jon already? he's back! our boy is back! awwww thats so cute. ep 160: oh right this is the thing in the safe house. i love him. "obviously im going to tell you if i see any good cows" martin my beloved <3 :)) oh boy who is this. fuckin. people. jonah you dick. gahh. you can tell he's trying to resist so hard lol. ohh. hehe keep an *eye* on him. altho if the extinction is a real thing he needs to be marked by that right? lol he sounds so intense im sorry- i want martin to just burst in and be like "look at this cow i saw!" its so dramatic and for why.

#tma notes #tma

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sweet-xoxo-thatcares · 3 years

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Pan? Polysexual sounds better now

Back to guys, gay girls, nonbinaries, pan, bi, gender-fluid, and queer people.

I might have to take a recap on matches who are trans for right now,

I still have a lot to learn about what my true identity is for right now.

Because I really can't stick to just one label...

Aye, that's just me. And dating apps are starting to feel like a job, there's too many people matching with me and trying to remember names is getting a lot to handle when you're on 3 different apps and about 20 conversations going at the same time. And still 99 people waiting on you to swipe right on them, on each one. And plus I'm not as picky about looks as I was before, so I'm mostly reading just bios, analyzing photos to see what could be their interests in, and making sure I'm not being too passive on red flags when people talk to you.

I will admit, I still swipe right on them if they're trans and I'm attracted to them. I just know me, I'd rather date someone who was fully transitioned or somebody who is still on the nonbinary, before part. Only because I know me.

I had to watch someone I had already grown into getting to know and getting attached to, and then when I finally got comfortable with them for over a yr, they changed that drastically during those 3months we were separate and I had no idea about it.....I'm not sure if I could watch it happen before my eyes. Cause then I would have to miss the way they were before, because of my attraction to their naturally mixed feminine/masculine looking features and actions. So, ideally I wouldn't have changed anything about them.

I don't wanna grow attached to a voice or a face or a body that will no longer be there tomorrow. I know that person before is still in there, but it's different when you're romantically attracted to them, been intimate with them vs when you're just a friend. My experience shocked and scared my paranoia and fear of change. I remember crying when my dad started growing white and grey hairs in his beard. Cause I never want my dad to change, cause I've grown up with him being this strong man that always was there for me, held me, made me feel safe, calmed me down when I had my moments, and tucked me in when I wanted to feel comfortable. He showed me that he always loved me, always cared about me, and that he was never gonna leave me. As if he's never gonna die during my time on this earth. Seeing his greyishly, white hairs, I thought death and that my daddy will soon no longer be the fun, happy, strong dad that I've always been with as his princess. And that's kind of what vibe this particular person was to me, even though they weren't as smart, strong, or always there for me....cause most of the time my nights alone cause they couldn't or didn't know I needed them to be there fo r me like that to feel loved or just to feel wanted. Cause I couldn't speak up.

But now, that they has turned into a he. I feel like its brutally denying me to chance to not only say goodbye to them as they, but I would have to get reacquainted to HE, with a totally different name, maybe different personality, maybe different sexuality, and I won't know if I like the new evolved version of this person. The fear of the unknown is high for me. Especially when there's a 40% rate of fems that decided to change their sexual orientation after taking testosterone. I 'm possessive about my partners and I would hate to know that after seeing this person physically change and go through so much emotional/mental changes that one day they decide "Hey, I think I like men now, I wanna give this a shot. Could we make this work?"

I would tell Him, to go right ahead and go on a date with that coworker or guy on Tinder/Grinder. But I'm not gonna be here when you come home. Because to me that's some bullshit. And I've known this person well enough to know, that they don't mind using other people to meet their sexual needs that I can't possibly give them due to my actual gender and my body as such. I wouldn't want to share my partner, nor watch them get fucked by another man...because I'm not a man, im a woman...theres a huuuuuugggeeee difference.

And if it ever came to that point 3 yrs later and He became someone I didn't know anymore, because of the hormones changing how they feel as a man, dysphoria gone....I get it, you've hated yourself for years and now you're happy in the dream body you always asked for. But, I would be scared to lose you, to whoever else you decide to open up to in your selections. Cause you're that type to leave to please you and not make it work. I don't want somebody who changes their mind all the time about who they wanna be, who else do they wanna smash, and who else they can flirt with. That's cheater mentality.

And I'm sorry trans community that I'm basing my recent experience with someone as the example for the rest of you. Because I know there are some ftm's who've already changed and stayed with their partners. I just don't know if I could trust this process, knowing the effects, the research on whether or not they become completely detached to women or become bisexual... I can't.

And I'm thankful for the ftm's that have been posting youtube videos and tiktoks for viewers like me who are curious about the possible cons, and physical or emotional changes they've overcome. I was shocked the first time I ever watched a bandaged ftm, who finally unrevealed their scars from top surgery. I've always been preparing myself for this. Because I knew one day, that this cute, fluffy, soft skinned, white latino looking, but really just mixed mocha, nonbinary person was gonna be...changed over a year or so. I thought I could prepare for it, so that when it does happen it doesn't hurt as much to watch to them in pain if the bleeding from the scars are irritating them or if one day they're super cranky and obnoxious for what seems to be no reason. Or if one day they end up feeling they dont need anybody like Zanthos, with the 4 avenger rings lol.

But I'm too damn fucking sensitive. I was born this way. I've always prepared myself with the worst and the best information, that way when it does happen, the tidal wave of emotions from the reaction, doesn't end up torching my soul or blowing me out the water. Cause I am gay. I adore women, men, and when I met this person I loved them as an in-betweener as nonbinary. They are so brutally harsh, twisted, manipulative, jealous, and possesive. But I've always liked that they had these emotions inside of them that they hold back because they don't wanna seem so soft, always hiding this feminine quality about them because ideally, they're pretty looking, gorgeous eyes that can turn black cold like obsidian, and those fucking cheeks and cat nose. I've only seen the slight hips, but I didn't mind it. And they've always hid their body away even when we would try to have sex. I knew the dysphoria was there, cause again I prepared myself to be patient and kind.

So, I'm glad they're turning a new leaf to make themselves feel more confident about being recognized in society as a full, grown ass man. I'm pretty sure HE, is gonna get cocky af, cause that's just the way he was when they were they.

I know it's selfish of me to say, but I'm afraid of what will happen down the line years later. But that's just me being afraid. If He ends up not liking me anymore, I know it won't be the end of the world and I walked away at the right time when I did. Because this person is currently separated from me, and I'm still insecure about that part too. Not knowing how they are during this transition for what may become years or not...I hope HE is doing okay and not piercing everyone with their new, world domination, ego.

I just don't wanna imagine them get fucked by a guy....sorry that's just me. And will their buttery ass kisses, still be as sweet anymore?

Will I be ok with HE having chest hair?

Will I love the sound of their new voice or will I just hate it, while still missing the old, brodie, sexy, slightly feminine voice?

Especially when they used to go all soft and cuddly on me over the phone, it was soooo cuteeee. I miss our phone and text conversations.

Will they grow into another relationship with somebody else because they started to become unattached and unattracted to my body, my tits, my hips, my vagina even....just because they completely changed their identity?

And I still a woman? I've only thought about wearing a binder a couple of times, and yes, I do watch ftm and trans porn because I did like the fantasy of being intimate with someone who had a bigger clit size or just having a big clit of my own that felt like a dick.

I'm willing to admit that. Because let's be honest, boys get away with so much more shit as a male, compared to us females.

I wish I could grow a dick overnight and nobody not know I'm still a chick! Lol, but I still don't like the all over hair body growth and I still want my vagina back. Like a rental suit with an actual dick and no tits. Those are the onllyyyyyyyyy things I've thought about, but would never admit out loud. Only because I still like my body and my gender identity as is. I feel like the blue girl from X-Men could get away with it, cause she can be anybody she wants to and go back to being herself at the end of the day. And still camouflage behind walls. Lucky chick. Especially if she could teleport, oh he'll yeah.

It's gonna take me awhile to get over this, so please be patient with me. As I'm trying not to cry as I watch my ftm porn get fucked by a guy. Cause I used to be heavy into it, now I feel wrong for watching it and then I'm reminded "40% chance, you're watching it" 😞🤮😫

3 notes · View notes

i-actually-quit-blog · 4 years

Text

꧁𝔻𝔸𝔹𝕀 𝚇 ℝ𝔼𝔸𝔻𝔼ℝ꧂

𝙶𝙴𝙽𝚁𝙴:ℝ𝕠𝕞𝕒𝕟𝕔𝕖

W͟A͟R͟N͟I͟N͟G͟:18+/C͟U͟S͟S͟I͟N͟G͟/K͟I͟D͟N͟A͟P͟I͟N͟G͟/I͟N͟J͟U͟R͟Y͟/M͟U͟R͟D͟E͟R͟/DADDY KINK

꧁________________________________________________________________꧂

𝕐𝕆𝕌ℝ 𝔹𝔸ℂ𝕂 𝕊𝕋𝕆ℝ𝕐

𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚊𝚛𝚎 𝚊 𝚄𝙰 𝚝𝚎𝚊𝚌𝚑𝚎𝚛 𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝚎𝚗𝚍𝚎𝚍 𝚞𝚙 𝚐𝚎𝚝𝚝𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚔𝚒𝚍𝚗𝚊𝚙𝚎𝚍 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚋𝚛𝚊𝚒𝚗𝚠𝚊𝚜𝚑𝚎𝚍 𝚋𝚢 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝙻𝙾𝚅 𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚗 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚎𝚗𝚍𝚎𝚍 𝚞𝚙 𝚏𝚊𝚕𝚕𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚒𝚗 𝚕𝚘𝚟𝚎 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚍𝚊𝚝𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚍𝚊𝚋𝚒 𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚗 𝚜𝚘𝚖𝚎 𝚘𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚛 𝚜𝚝𝚞𝚏𝚏 𝚑𝚊𝚙𝚙𝚎𝚗𝚜.you also grew up with aizawa,mic,and all might as kids

YOU QUIRK:DEMONIC SOUL:you were able to form different indestructible black and red weapons you can also form blades in your palms and you can fly with a dark mist under you

꧁________________________________________________________________꧂

𝕐𝕆𝕌ℝ ℙ𝕆𝕍

𝙸𝚝𝚜 𝚎𝚊𝚛𝚕𝚢 𝚒𝚗 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚖𝚘𝚛𝚗𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚊𝚛𝚎 𝚛𝚞𝚗𝚗𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚝𝚘 𝚐𝚎𝚝 𝚝𝚘 𝚄𝙰 𝚑𝚒𝚐𝚑 𝚋𝚎𝚏𝚘𝚛 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚏𝚒𝚛𝚜𝚝 𝚋𝚎𝚕𝚕 𝚛𝚒𝚗𝚐𝚜.𝚢𝚘𝚞𝚛 𝚛𝚞𝚗𝚗𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚝𝚑𝚛𝚘𝚞𝚐𝚑 𝚊𝚗 𝚊𝚕𝚕𝚢𝚠𝚊𝚢 𝚏𝚘𝚛 𝚊 𝚜𝚑𝚘𝚛𝚝 𝚌𝚞𝚝.𝚢𝚘𝚞𝚛 𝚛𝚞𝚗𝚗𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚋𝚞𝚖𝚙 𝚒𝚗𝚝𝚘 𝚜𝚘𝚖𝚎𝚘𝚗𝚎.

You:"𝙸𝙼 𝚂𝙾 𝚂𝙾𝚁𝚁𝚈 𝙸𝙼 𝙸𝙽 𝙰 𝙷𝚄𝚁𝚁𝚈"

???:nah it's ok hey your really pretty what's your name sweetheart?

You:oh its Y/n

???:cute name I'm dabi it's nice to meet you

You:you to I have to go now bye

꧁________________________________________________________________꧂

𝕋𝕀𝕄𝔼 𝕊𝕂𝕀ℙ 10 𝕄𝕀ℕ𝕌𝕋𝔼𝕊

꧁__________________________________________________________꧂

You show up to the school a little early and you go to the office.

You:hey aizawa

Aizawa:hey Y/n mind teaching my class for the day

You:NOPE not happening

Aizawa:HAHA fuck you

You:nice talking to ya to

꧁________________________________________________________________꧂

𝕥𝕚𝕞𝕖 𝕤𝕜𝕚𝕡 𝕥𝕠 𝕥𝕙𝕖 𝕖𝕟𝕕 𝕠𝕗 𝕥𝕙𝕖 𝕤𝕔𝕙𝕠𝕠𝕝 𝕕𝕒𝕪

꧁________________________________________________________________꧂

On your way home from a long day at work you start hearing creepy whispers coming from behind you.you start to walk fast and the whispers keep getting louder and louder.soon enough you are running full speed for your house then you get hit on the head with a hard object.you wake up blindfolded hearing unfamiliar voices except one.you have heard one of those particular voices befor recently you just cant remember from when or where.one of the people in the room unblindfold you.you see three people.a girl with blonde hair and two messy buns,a blue haired guy with crusty musty lips with a hand on his face,then you recognize the man you bumped into earlier in the day.

You:WHAT IS GOING ON WHERE AM I

Dabi:GEEZ calm down its rude to do anything without introducing your friends to your guests so let's get started so this

*gets cut off by toga*

Toga:HI I'm toga it's very nice to meet you I hope we can be best friends for life

Dabi:ok well and this is shigiraki*points to the hand guy*

You:ok my name is Y/n NOW CAN YOU EXPLAIN TO ME WHY IM HERE

Shiaraki:GOD DAMB YOUR LOUD*puts four fingers around you neck*to be honest I dont know why your here either dabi wanted to do this so technically I can kill you without hesitation

Dabi whispering to shigi:have you seen her quirk its DEMONIC SOUL

Shigraki:so what are we gonna do shes a hero I dought shes gonna switch sides in free will

Dabi takes out a needle with green liquid in it and injects the stuff into your neck.you scream in pain as you black out

꧁__________________________________________________________꧂

(YOU LOST ALL YOUR MEMORY OF BEING A HERO AND TEACHER at UA)

꧁_________________________________________________________꧂

The LOV simply then explained to you that your dad was a villan and you were too.you were hesitant to agree because part of you knew it was a bit sketchy but you didn't think into it to much.you accepted being a villian and part of the LOV.soon after you and everyone started becoming close friends but there was a even closer bond forming between you and dabi in comparison to the others.eventually you and dabi started dating.

꧁________________________________________________________________꧂

𝕋𝕀𝕄𝔼 𝕊𝕂𝕀ℙ 2 𝕄𝕆ℕ𝕋ℍ𝕊

꧁________________________________________________________________꧂

You:SHIGIRAKIIIIIIII

Shigiraki:WHAT

You:YOU DECAYED THE FUCKING TOILET HOW DOES THAT EVEN HAPPEN

Shigiraki:IT JUST HAPENS CAN WE PLEASE STOP YELLING

You:NO I HAVE TO PEE

Shigiraki:SOUNDS LIKE A PERSONAL PROBLEM TO ME

You:FUCK YOU I'm going for a walk

ALL:BYE

As walk to the park you also stop at the bathroom when you come out you see a green haired boy you realize you some how know him from somewhere but you can't remember.he then sees you and starts to freak out.

???:Y/N

You:wait how do you know my name

???:WE ALL THOUGHT YOU WERE DEAD

You:why would I be dead

???:you went missing like 2 months age

You:wait who even are you

???:what do you mean its me izuku midorya

You:yeah I don't remember that name

You then start to hear dabis voice yelling for you

You:sorry I have to go bye

Izuku:NO WAIT EVERYONE IS GONNA BE SO EXCITED TO SEE YOU

you out run him and he couldn't catch up.you were soon at the base late at night.as the night went on you got curious on what that boy izuku was saying was true.you confront dabi on subject. He then starts going one about you being kidnapped by another Villan group then LOV kidnapped you back.it struck you as weird at the time but you didn't really mind.

꧁__________________________________________________________꧂

𝕓𝕒𝕔𝕜 𝕨𝕚𝕥𝕙 𝕚𝕫𝕦𝕜𝕦

꧁__________________________________________________________꧂

Izuku:MR.AIZAWA MR.AIZAWA

Aizawa:what is it izuku

Izuku:Y/N IS ALIVE I RAN INTO HER AT THE PARK

Aizawa:you know we don't make jokes like that

Izuku:BUT ITS NOT A JOKE

Aizawa:yeah ok now get out of my classroom

꧁__________________________________________________________꧂

𝔹𝔸ℂ𝕂 𝕎𝕀𝕋ℍ 𝕃𝕆𝕍

꧁__________________________________________________________꧂

Everyone was planning on going to the local bar but you didn't know because you were taking a nap.dabi wanted to wear his favorite sweatshirt but he couldn't find it and it turns out you were wearing it and nothing else underneath it except your underwear.the bad thing is that the cheat shirt is so big on you it goes down to your knees so No one could tell if you wearing anything under. Dabi walks into the room and sees you waking up and sees your wearing his sweatshirt.he makes you get up.he try to pull the sweatshirt over your head ad but you resist.as your begging for him to stop he uses his full strength to pull the sweatshirt up.he pulled it up so high your breasts were showing.he freezes and blushes like a tomato.

Dabi:WHERE YOUR CLOTHS

You:cloths are so uncomfortable

Dabi:OK whatever just go get dressed we are going to the local bar

You:OK

You then give Dabi a kiss and walk to go change.you change into these high waisted jean shorts and a croped hoodie.then you walk out of the changing room.

Dabi:what are you wearing

You:ummm cloths

Dabi:you have way to much skin showing

You:I'm a grown adult I'm fine

Dabi:whatever your getting a punishment later tho let's go

Everyone walks to the bar,goes in,and takes their seats.you guys are having an Amazing time then you turn around looking for the waiter.you then see a group of people that you recognize but don't remember.you notice a guy with long black hair and a scarf and a blond headed skilled head looking man.you start to have a bunch of flash backs of you and them together then you see a bunch of teens.you see a boy with purple hair, you see a boy with yellow hair and a lightning bolt on his hair,and you see the same green haired boy you saw earlier.you head starts to hurt after the flash backs end so you go to the bathroom.you then see a girl with pink hair and skin with horns,she then sees you.

???:OMG Y/N ITS YOU WE ALL MISS YOU SO MUCH

You:umm sorry but do I know you

Mina then pouts

???:WHAT DO YOU MEAN ITS ME MINA OSHIDO

you:sorry I don't remember you

Mina:well you must remember the rest of the guys

Mina then drags you to the table with all the people you had flashbacks about and that you recognized.

Mina:LOOK GUYS I FOUND Y/N

Everyone gets really happy to see you and starts talking to you but you can't even remember them.dabi starts to get worried because how long you were taking in the bathroom.he then starts walking to the bathroom seeing you at the other table.

Dabi:baby why are you at this table

You:the pink girl brought me here

You point to mina

Aizawa:why are you here with dabi

You:why not

Aizawa:umm he's a villan

You:ok and

Aizawa:AND

You:I don't see the problem because I'm a villan too

everyone:WHATTT

You:look strange people I don't even know you

Dabi:let's go back to the table

You guys go back to your table and have some more drinks

Shigiraki:I'm tired I'm ready to go back to the base

Toga:me to

You:ok let's go

You all start to walk back to the base and when you all get back Shigiraki and toga tell you and Dabi they are going to bed.you and Dabi walk into Dabis room.you run and jump onto the bed.

You:let's watch a movie

Dabi:really baby have you already forgotten.i have to punish you for wearing such skin showing cloths to the bar

You:BUT I WANT A MOVIE

You wined playfully

Dabi:nope not happening

꧁________________________________________________________________꧂

18+𝕎𝔸ℝℕ𝕀ℕ𝔾

꧁________________________________________________________________꧂

Dabi then throws himself on top of you pinning you onto the bed.he then leans down and kisses you passionately,you kiss him back.as time goes on the make out session became more rough.slowly he starts to slide off his clothes and your.when it comes time he gets really nervous so nervous he was gonna go in to deep or end up hurting you in some way.after you calmed him down you realized how much he actually cared for you,that made you love him even more.after a few minutes of Dabi playing with your body with his hands he then decided it was time for the suck.you then get on your knees.

You:your cock is so huge I love it

You then put the head in you mouth massaging it with your tongue.you then put it farther in your mouth.pulling it in and out of your wet mouth,every time putting it in your mouth you put more in.dabi then trys to hold back his moans because he doesn't want to kill the mood.dabi then can't contain himself he then throws his head back from overstimulation.

Dabi:wound you rather continue in your mouth or start taking this in you perfect pussy

You:yes please

He then picks you up,puts you on the bed,and pins your knees to your ears.when Dabi put the head in you couldn't help but let out a moan.

Dabi:a-are you ok y/n

You:i-im fine go deeper please just g-give it all to me please

Dabi the freezes with a surprised look on his face for a second surprised on how much you wanted him.he then gives you a reassuring nod then slowly sliding himself deep into you,reaching all the spots you didn't expect him to be able to reach.you try your best to not be to loud so you won't wake anyone up.he then starts slowly thrusting in and out .

You:pl-please harder

Dabi then starts to get more confident and comfortable and he starts going faster and faster so fast your juices start to foam up and become foged white.dabi then starts going faster.

You:D-da oh shit D-DADDY

you then realize what you said,you turn tomato red,and covered your face with your hands.dabi then stops with a shocked look on his face.he then realized that you revealed one of your biggest insecurities to him,your kink.he realized you loved and cared for him enough to reveal your biggest secrets you wouldn't tell anyone else.the more he thought about it the more turned on he go and the more he wanted to continue and make you feel as good as possible. Right before he was able to start again someone burst through the door.

Toga:DABI LOOK TWICE IS BACK

Toga and twice then realized what they walked in on and they slowly shut the door.you then start to laugh will getting off the bed to take a shower.

You:who's twice

Dabi:oh hes just a friend

You:oh ok

You and dabi shower and get dressed by the time yal are done its morning and you can already here people talking in the main area.you two walk out into the main area

Twice:hi guys how was last night,your and slut

You:WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU JUST SAY

You then form a knife and hole it up to twice mask close to cutting it.Suddenly

You start to feel really sick,you grab your stomach hold your mouth and accidentally drops the knife almost hitting twice foot.you then run into the bathroom and start to throw up really bad.dabi then runs in behind you holding your hair back and rubbing your back for you.

Dabi:let it all out

After all that Dabi puts you to Bed and goes back out to the main area with toga and twice.

Twice:how is y/n,she's a bitch

You throw a rock at twice from the other room

You:SHUT THE FUCK UP TWICE

Twice:grumpy much

Toga:twice she has a point

Dabi:yeah she does

Twice:I feel so betrayed by my own friends

꧁________________________________________________________________꧂

𝕋𝕀𝕄𝔼 𝕊𝕂𝕀ℙ 3 𝕄𝕆ℕ𝕋ℍ𝕊

꧁________________________________________________________________꧂

You and everyone realize that your illness is becoming more frequent and that you were becoming more round. Eventually everyone took you to the doctors to see what was wrong with you.you guys find out you are pregnant.you and Dabi get really excited and happy but toga shigi and twice look scared

You:whats wrong you guy's

Shigiraki:ummm why shouldn't we be worried

You:idk

Shigiraki:imagine having a kid end up with either of you guy's quirk that they can't control

Dabi:well I never thought about that

You:you got a point

Everyone then goes back to the base and discuss what we are gonna do

꧁________________________________________________________________꧂

𝔸ℕ𝕆𝕋ℍ𝔼ℝ 𝕋ℍℝ𝔼𝔼 𝕄𝕆ℕ𝕋ℍ𝕊 𝕃𝔸𝕋𝔼ℝ

꧁________________________________________________________________꧂

Shigiraki calls everyone to the main space for a group meeting

Shigiraki:dabi I know your not gonna like this but we have to bring y/n on a mission

You:YAAAYY I HAVEN'T BEEN ON ONE IN SOOO LONG

Dabi:well as long as it doesn't risk her life

Shigiraki:the thing is that the stuff she 8s tasked to do she only has a 30% chance of survival

Dabi:then she is simply not doing it

Shigiraki:I know how you feel but we need her quirk and if your not willing to let me use her then I can easily just kill you the use her as I wish

You:baby I promise I will stay alive no matter what

Dabi:fine just don't die on me ok

You nod then you get ready for the mission.after an hour shigiraki explains the plan and apparently all it is an ambush on a bunch of pro heros that are together.you guys then get to the top of a building

3 notes · View notes

shes-fast-like-me · 5 years

Note

Lifeline and Octane for the ask thing, because I know you and your ways :^)

ah you know me too well lol

Lifeline

fave thing: GOD ajbskqbsa ok i love her???? i love her selflessness??? I love how strong she is??? I love how she looked at all the bullshit her parents have done and said “thats not right” and actually went out and did something about it?? that’s so punk rock??? idk i just see her dedicating her life p much to charity as just so?? strong?? and admirable??? im in love with her??? she rlly honest to god is such a good and interesting character?? like god respawn rly did that and expected me not to fall in love?

least fave thing: this me nit picking the game but give her better skins and quips!! i cant splurge all my life savings on her if all her cosmetics are just meh (aside from london calling that shit slaps)

fave quip: actually the new one where you finish off a squad! “whole squad down and a boom boom!” just the way she says it, my heart just 💘💘

brOTP: lifeline + mirage!!! they are a chaotic duo. sarcastic to each other a lot. friendos. i also feel like she’s the closest thing wraith has to a girl friend. she makes sure wraith takes care of herself and has fun with life. and also obviously she and bangalore hang out a lot, maybe train together idk

OTP: *gestures to my blog* i hope this is obvious enough

nOTP: uhhh her and bloodhound?? or caustic?? idk i just dont see it ever happening

random headcanon: she’s got lots of plants up in her room. she likes taking care of things, but she’s too busy for real pets so she opted for plants. she’s got lots of succulents and cacti and some hanging plants like ivy. tends to go for the low-effort ones becus again, shes rlly busy. but she likes em a lot! there’s just somethin refreshing abt coming home to plants in pretty pots and just playing them music or smthn

unpopular opinion: i honestly?? dont know?? ppl seem to misinterpret her as a “sunshine” character ive noticed but i would say me disagreeing with that portrayal of her is an unpopular opinion ykno

song i associate with them: hhhhhh rihanna’s “only girl in the world” i’m still waiting on somebody to draw her into that music video cus it honestly slaps so hard and i would literally die if it happened

fave pic: i actually just like the official art idk

Octane

fave thing: idk why i’m so hung up on him being like, a youtuber or whatever but i rlly love that. like that is the content i want to see ksnakjsak this is the youtube rep we need!! i just want. to see his videos i rlly do

least fave: this more confuses/upsets me than anything but how??? is he ok???? im dead serious like he puts on such an “it be like that” persona abt him losing his legs and im just like ???¿?¿?¿¿ how are you okay???

fave line: from the trailer!! “this is the least bored i’ve been all day!” i think this quote describes him fucking perfectly its so chaotic

brOTP: again, mirage. two chaos bois. what are they gonna do uh oh!

OTP: i hope we all know the answer to this one by now

nOTP: i dont think i HAVE a notp for octane. him + bangalore if i absolutely had to pick?? just cus i see bangalore as a lesbian personally so

random headcanon: i’ve been meaning to do a post on this but this guy pays for everything. any time he is out with friends or whatever he’s paying. he just does it out of habit he refuses to let anyone pay for anything. also for birthdays or other special occasions u bet ur ass he is spending a fortune on his friends. like why wouldnt he?? he’s rich??? whose gonna stop him??? his parents cant ground him he’s 24 and technically is inheriting the fortune anyway becus where’s that money gonna go?? live wild have fun. also i assume they win money from the games so usually he just gives that all away to charity (usually ajay’s). he also does charity streams sometimes. like he doesnt need that money

unpopular opinion: i agree he’s a disaster but not like. in need of a damn babysitter or whatever, like he’s an adult he can take of himself ykno.

song i associate with them: the most octanecore song i’ve heard has been “Turn The Music Up” by NF

fave picture: yeehaw

#octane #octavio silva #lifeline #ajay che #thanks for the ask!!

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toxikbubblegum · 5 years

Text

May Reading Wrap Up

I'm actually really proud of myself. I finished 13 books last month. Spent a lot of extra time away from screens and focusing on my mental health so I burned through way more than I normally would. So anyways, here's my reviews. - Also please understand that these are just my opinions and if I shit on your favorite book I'm sorry that I didn't enjoy it as much as you. Also, also Im terrible with character names.

Daughter of Smoke and Bone by Laini Taylor ⭐⭐⭐

I actually started this book at the end of April but didn't finish it til May 1st so whatever, here it is. This books is a YA urban fantasy novel about a girl with a double life. She spends half her days studying art in Europe and the other half running errands for a tooth collecting wish monger. I don't want to say a whole lot more because I dont want to spoil anything important about the plot. So, I'll try to be vague. Let me start by saying this story is amazing. I loved the writing and the world. I rated it so low solely because I can't stand the two main characters and it really dragged down what would have otherwise been an amazing novel. So yeah, great book but its a preference thing. Also took points off for the insta-love but not really insta-love shit. Idk. I have a lot of mixed feelings about this read even a month later. Gonna read the second to see if maybe my hatred of the two mains was just a fluke.

3/5 Stars

Spellbound by Rachel Hawkins

⭐⭐⭐

This is the third book in the Hex Hall trilogy. Not much to say about it. It was a meh ending to an overall pretty good series. 3/5 stars. Moving on.

The Wicked Deep by Shea Ernshaw

⭐⭐⭐

Realizing now how many of my reads this month were pretty middle of the world. Hopefully next month will be filled with 4 and 5 stars. Anyways, this book was honestly a struggle for me to finish and Im not sure why. It's a YA mystery magical realism story about a tiny coastal town that is cursed by the spirits of 3 sisters who were suspected of witchcraft and drowned 2 centuries prior. Because of this, every year the sisters return from the sea to take the lives of teenage boys by luring them to the sea. We follow the life of kind of meh and standard YA girl #1. She meets a strange non tourist boy and hires him to work in the lighthouse her family owns. Her dad randomly disappeared years ago and her mom is a loon. So yeah... I dont know. I kind of felt like this story was hot garbage in places. I usually dont have any trouble with the suspense of disbelief in magical realism stories but this one just had too many plot holes. Like, I get morbid stuff becomes tourist attractions but why wouldn't someone have stepped in and evacuated the town if at least 3 teenage boys die there EVERY SINGLE YEAR without fail? I honestly feel like the FBI or some other government agency would have cleared the place out after the first 20 or so deaths. There was also the whole MC can see the ghosts of the girls possessing people but chooses not to tell anyone? Like, I get it. You dont want people to label you a freak or think you're crazy but come the fuck on. You live in a tourist trap where people flock to watch local teenage males wash up on shore and you really think the authorities arent going to take you up on the help? It wasn't an awful book by any means. It was well written and extremely descriptive. Just had major beef with some of the details. Anyways, I wont say much more so I don't spoil the whole book.

3/5 Stars

An Enchantment of Ravens by Maragret Rogerson

⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

Finally, I get to talk about one of my favorite reads of the month. I love anything to do with the Fae in my YAfiction and this was literally everything I wanted in a Fae novel. It takes place in a town called Whimsy, a humanish town in the world of Faerie. The fae cannot do any Craft, or what we would consider craftsmanship. Art and humans who can do it well are very precious in this world because the Fae can't ever do it themselves. We follow the adventures of a girl who has been commisioned to paint the portrait of the Autumn King and the chaos that ensues. Let me just start by saying this is one of those insta-love situations where I feel like it's genuinely ok. I might be making excuses because I loved the title so much but whatever. It's explained and I accept it. Also, I realize that Gadfly had a lovely description but my brain willl not let me picture him as anything but Mr.Waternoose from Monsters Inc.

5/5 Stars

The Night Circus by Erin Morgenstern

⭐⭐⭐

This book started out so good and went downhill very quickly. It follows the story of these two magicians who were fated by their Master's to one day fight to the death. There were so many things I loved about this book only for the last 100 pages to just take a firey dump on my face. I loved the setting and the majority of the characters. The supporting characters were so deep and interesting that I almost cared more about them than I did Ceilia and Marko (Im proabably wrong and I dont feel like googling but I think that was his name) . I don't know. I don't want to complain about anymore meh books.

3/5 Stars

Matched by Allie Condie

⭐⭐⭐⭐

Went into this book expecting to hate it. I usually don't like contemporary love stories but this had major City of Ember meets The Giver vibes and it just appealed to that 14 year old girl in me again. That seems to happen with a lot of dystopian utopia stories. Anyways, story is about a girl who lives in this town where when you hit a certain age you are brought to a place and told who the government has chosen for you to marry. She is matched with her life long best friend and all is well. Except that her little Get To Know Your New Husband microship thing showed her two guys instead of just one. And lots of bullshit ensues. I honestly think I rated this so high because I enjoy the world and not so much whats actually happening to the kids. Like, I loved the idea that art is harmful so the government chose 100 acceptable pieces and thats all these people know. I loved the brutality of the government in general. I can't say much more without spoiling some of the twists but geez did it have me hooked. I'm going to be started the second one soonish, though my TBR for June has gotten intense so we will see.

4/5 stars

Six of Crows by Leigh Bardugo

⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

I cannot say enough good things about this book. It is so fucking good! Not going to rant about it or anything because y'all just need to go read it immediately.

5/5 stars

Would give it every star in the sky if Im being completely honest.

Reign of the Fallen by Sarah Glenn Marsh

⭐⭐

Got sucked into this book by the cover and honestly that was the best part of this book. Its about this world where necromancy is pretty highly regarded and used to resurrect the royals after they die. The only downside is that if a living person ever lays eyes on the resurrected person's skin then they turn into these horrible monsters. Maybe it's just me but like that absolutely does not seem worth the risk. Plus, in order to bring the person back, these reapers have to go into the death world and bring the spirit back. And it's HELLA DANGEROUS. So like, WHY? Anyways, there is this stupid underlying love story that I absolutely wasn't invested in. This just all around was not a good book.

2/5 stars

Monster High by Lisi Harrison

⭐⭐

Little known fact~ I'm obsessed with Monster High and Ever After High. So yeah, I realize this wasn't targeted to me as an adult but even going into it with an open mind I was disappointed. Granted I didn't read the description of the book prior. I just saw this franchise I love and grabbed it. First, if you are a fan of the mini series and the movies do not read this. It doesnt follow the cinematic canon and I think that was my biggest problem with it. Frankie's character was all wrong and I hated the whole"Normy" cast. Was really excited for these but I definitely won't be continuing the series. I don't even want to torture myself with seeing how they manage to ruin my sweet baby Draculara.

2/5 stars

Unhinged by AG Howard

⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

I can't say enough good things about this series. This is the second book in the trilogy and it was a fanatstic bridge book. It had me engrossed through the entire audiobook. Morpheus is still everything. If you loved Splintered I would highly reccomend continuing.

5/5 stars

Truthwitch

⭐⭐

Have had this on my TBR for a while because of how many Booktubers have hyped the series. Buy, was I disappointed. I was soooooooooo bored. Maybe it's because I don't really enjoy this type of fantasy or maybe it was just the slower paced story but I just slugged through this book. Both of the main female characters were bland to me and I didn't care about their friendship. The world was cool but not enough to keep me invested. Just wasn't my cup of tea.

2/5 stars

Paranormalcy by Kiersten White

⭐⭐⭐

Picked this up because of how much I loved The Dark Descent of Elizabeth Frankenstein and it didn't meet my expectations. It follows this girl who works for a paranormal gorvenment group. She has a special ability that makes her really useful to them so they are trying to groom her basically. They capture this changeling and she befriends him and there is an overarching plot that I just didn't get invested in. The friendship between the two main characters was pretty much the only thing that I enjoyed in this title. The mother figure was insufferable and I just didn't really understand the whole org that they worked for in general. Not an awful book but not fantastic.

Solid 3/5 stars.

The Siren by Kiera Cass

⭐⭐⭐⭐

Going to preface this by saying I might be biased. I love Kiera Cass and have enjoyed almost everything she has written. That said, this wasn't nearly as good as The Selection series but it was a pretty good stand alone novel. It about a girl who becomes a siren on her deathbed and spends the next 100 years serving the sea by luring people to their deaths. After doing this for 70 years, she falls in love and pretty much ruins everything. Loved the characters, especially the male lead. The insta love was a little pet peeve of mine but the love interest was so sweet and genuine that I was willing to overlook it. Pretty good read if you dig supernatural romance.

4/5 stars

June holds the Ghibli-a-thon but also lots of holidays for my family so we will see how much I actually get read. So far my tentative TBR is 5 books but we will see where the days take me.

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starlillies · 5 years

Text

so to update my recent (ish) post, i did eventually give in and binge legacies bc of posie and even though no one asked i have thoughts

josie is my precious child and i would die for her and i think she should wear her hair completely down more often. that is the most important takeway and the rest is under bc this got long i had more thoughts than i thought

i understand lizzie is bipolar but it feels like the writers in charge of her character are too

mg is also my precious child im love him

kaleb was actually on my shit list when i started but he has worked his way into my hear (lets be real the shark slippers helped a lot,, and when he just had to compel those townpeople to forget the buggies but he also compelled them to improve their lives?? in ways that made it clear he talked to them about their life and issues??? Pure™)

liSTEN OK I LOVE PENELOPE PARK SO MUCH I KNOW EVERYONE DOES BUT I LOVE HER!!! her humor?? the way to my heart, first of all,,, and ofc she’s hot bc josie set her on fire as hell too and like did i mention she’s funny? bc shes not just funny her specific brand of humor (witty comebacks, bitchy banter, “you used to like it when i went low”) is Right Up My Alley. its right up there. and i know they call her satan bc she broke josie’s heart so they have an excuse, but it seems like she’s overall just thought of as a mean girl/bitch and i?? dont understand?? all she does is make good jokes and love josie with her whole heart and yeah she ruins lizzie’s life but WHY do people who aren’t the saltzman twins think she’s a bad person???

ok so hope. i like her, i do. and i liked her from the beginning, but also like, only bc i didnt have a reason to not like her? like idk in the beginning she was slightly better than meh for me. now i love her bc she’s also a witty queen with great hair and she smiles and lemme tell you even if i hated her with my whole heart i would melt at her smile. her whole face lights up!! its so cute!! i love it!! and slug infected hope? obsessed.

spEAKING of which, you know that scene? the scene with slug infected hope and josie and josie hiding behind hope from penelope and hopes lil noise and penelope obviously finding josie immediately and josie’s face and,,,, yeah you know that scene? GOLD. AMAZING. FANTASTIC. GIVE IT AN OSCAR RN.

(backtrack real quick, do the writers remember hope is part vampire? is that something theyre, like,, aware of?? bc the only glimpse of her vampness was in an alternate universe,,, im just confused)

ok so this might be unpopular but landon is...not my pal. i like handon a LOT ok theyre super cute and i love happy hope, but landon himself,,, he simultaneously bores me and gives me Nice Guy™ vibes and just,,, i dont really like him im sorry

speaking of handon i like raf but this is ridiculous ok i dont need another love triangle julie. like does she even realize most people hATE love triangles? im not alone on that right? theyre not entertaining, julie. youve already done that many times, julie.

i think those were all my main thoughts JUST KIDDING OF COURSE I SAVED POSIE FOR LAST. listen. lets be real. posie is the only reason i watched this show. and by the time i binged it i had already watched every single posie scene on youtube. i. am. posie. trash. i love josie. i love penelope. so josie and penelope?? yall know i was a goner. they are iconic. i love them. their kisses fed my heart mind body and soul. everything about their interactions in the last ep (before the goodbye, im getting there) was just. just. really pure honest to god ambrosia or some shit. i think it added years to my life. and then their goodbye?? you bet it fuckin b r o k e my fuckin heart. the emotions. the acting. the tears. the i love you jojo!!! have i mentioned that penelope (and only penelope!! shes the only one!!) calling josie jojo makes my heart whole clears my skin and cures my emotional trauma? cause yeah. anywho ofc im fuckin devastated and i wanna say im not worried about this being the end of posie bc it honestly didnt feel like an ending to me and it def seems like lulu will come back (if she doesnt..........) but i also dont really trust the cw and i didnt even watch the 100 i just know Too Much and i pretty much never trust tv writers so?? i guess i have to sell my soul now?

but also even though im crushed by penelope leaving, so is josie and even though shes my precious child and i dont want her to be in pain,,, im hella excited to see her be angry and ruthless and burn everyones world down and badass as hell. kaylee said people arent gonna like josie in the next ep but?? unlikely.

im sure no one made it this far but i needed this catharsis thank you goodnight pls remember that penelope park is soft as fuckin hell no matter what she says

#hahaha this is ridiculous why did i even do this #goodniht im delusional from today #legacies #josie saltzman #penelope park #posie #penelope x josie #or is it #josie x penelope #??#is there a consensus on that? inquiring minds want to know

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ursoself-satisfying · 5 years

Note

do you think eugene is maybe scared of long boat trips? i was thinking about it the other day, maybe he plans on going on holiday with his s/o and the only way to go abroad would be on a boat right? but maybe he would get a little (a lot? im not an expert on this) ptsd while being on the boat and his s/o supporting him but not fully understanding because lets be honest, no-one apart from the soldiers fully understand this sort of stuff, and maybe there's another veteran on-board who helps him?

Before we get into it I wanna say I totally agree n that unless u actually have experienced that ur rly not gonna understand what the person is going thru n this applies to all kinds of trauma but just bc u dont understand doesnt mean u cant do ur best to or that u cant still love support n help them handle it n it doesnt mean they're not gr8tful for ur involvement even if u dont understand,, writing for post war eugene is always tricky cus I dont wanna assume ik how any of this goes or the extent of what it entails i havent done this I've barely done any research its heartbreaking tho n unfair n I just wanted to say all that before u get into this cus it's a combo of both asks but also more of a touchy subject than I feel like I've addressed here so that's just a heads up but enjoy!!

Omg eugene my bby

I def think hes still afraid of boats big time,, so when the two of u decide to go abroad for ur honeymoon it's a big decision for u two to make one w lots of beforehand discussions n considering all ur other options but in the end the push of ur families n the pull of the convenience of a boat eases u both into the decision, even tho nothing about it u kno is going to be easy,, Eugene is p nervous cus I mean the nightmares have lessened n u both have been learning how to handle his flashbacks n the like but u had never tried anything like this yet so on one hand it could be a good time to test the waters but on the other hand neither of u have any idea how itll actually go

Even just in the car on the way there he starts to get shakey n then on the dock it gets a bit worse but ur hands r on him somehow the whole time either locked in his or on his leg or arm or stuck in his pocket n that comforts him, ur touch anchors him n keeps him from drifting to worse thoughts it keeps him thinking about u instead,, its till hard tho just thinking about it being back on that boat forcing himself to remember hes going to France n it's not occupied n hes not alone n hes going to get to see the sights w his wonderful wife n thoroughly enjoy those bright French mornings n that it's going to be quiet, no more bombs or raids or alarms just u n him under thin sheets hot n sticky n just together n safe

But first,, the boat

On the boat? It was rough,, every bit of turbulence n every odd sway made him anxious n as much as u tried to entice him to enjoy more of the boats activities like a cabaret show or even just playing some chess out on the deck n tho u could get him out a few times n he did enjoy himself,, he spent most of his time in the cabin trying to ignore the fact he was on a boat at all,, the rest of his time not being coaxed out by u he spent napping in a deck chair w u often lounging beside him n watching over his sleep carefully, also making sure he didnt burn n lathering her exposed skin in sunblock as much as u could as he slept

U two kept busy in the cabin tho I mean it was ur honeymoon after all ;;;))) so he ravaged u as often as he could bc not only were u a comfort but also a distraction,, u did other things as well tho like laying n listening to ur favourite radio shows or playing guitar to him or sketching him or dancing together or once even doing a silly little fashion show where he def tripped after putting on ur heels

He did have a few attacks tho but u had prepared as best u could n even if some of ur cabin took a beating in an outburst u had always managed to talk him down n he spent a lot of time in ur arms

His breakdowns btw would come suddenly when something would trigger him like a sudden movement or a splash against ur window n then he would get angry n scared n become protective of u until his aggression bubbled over into hot tears drowned out by ur soft words of confirmation trying to tell him u were on a modest cruise liner n u were going to Europe n that the guns n the bombs n the tropical climate were all far away n u would pull him into a cold shower w u n he would often (fuck u hard first then) just cling to u n cry until he could calm down n fall asleep n if he stirred in his sleep u would repeat the process until he could sleep soundly

He was gr8tful to finally be off the boat n back on land tho n once in Paris the two of u could rly enjoy ur honeymoon beginning w breaking in ur hotel bed ;;;)))

But then the two of u got to see the Eiffel Tower n the Seine n the Louvre n Notre dame n it was all so amazing!!!! U spent half the time w ur head in ur sketchbook n he spent all his time taking photos of u w ur head in ur sketchbook lol

The photos were brilliant n sweet n excessive n there were def a few of u bare n freshly fucked (pardon my french) w the Parisian skyline out the window behind u, the morning like shining thru ur messy hair like a halo,, but there were also many of him from the perspective of u kneeling over him n many more of both of u playfully holding up the tower or picnicking in front of a cathedral w u plucking at ur guitar or him w a bottle of wine at his lips

It was all v picturesque n romantic n perfect n u thought he deserved nothing less n he thought the same for u ::""))

U spent about 4 weeks there together n he had throughly used his time to fuck u in every way possible n use every toy u brought with but then it was suddenly time to go home n u were concerned about eugene being back on the boat but he seemed less nervous when u got on n he admitted to feeling a lot better after the first trip n this time he actually went out w u n u played board games w other passengers n danced in the halls n sang w the cabaret n he still sunbathed n napped n made love to u n wrecked ur cabin n u still listened to all ur radio shows n drew n sang but ur lives felt more full somehow after this experience

Oh n u def showed off everything u had bought is Paris n as much as he loved that silk dress on u he loved peeling it off u even more ;;;)))

He rly did feel better when u were finally home to ur little cottage for the first time together as a globetrotting married couple ::"")) he felt better that he hadnt handled it nearly as bad as hed expected n urs n his trip abroad left u feeling loved n cultured n more experienced in life plus u both had taken a huge chance n now u were better for it n felt more capable n confident that he was getting better n it was an affirmation that u would take care of him n that u would always be there for him, just as u had said in ur vows ::""))

He was happy to consummate ur new marriage in ur own bed for the first time tho lol n on top of that gr8 feeling it was just gr8 that he felt less held back w u there w him especially after the boat experience

So yeah a quick note I rly do think he would be terrified of ever stepping foot on a boat again n would refuse it n be vvv adamant about not doing it again for a vvv long time but I think he could be worn down n would EVENTUALLY be ok w it but maybe not this fast n tho I dont feel like I go into much detail here he def has a hard time on the boat as well like hes just agitated the whole time n probably was prescribed some medication for it if just some motion or sea sickness meds n maybe anxiety but i would say it prolly makes him drowsy so hes kinda out of it which keeps him calm but doesnt stop certain flashbacks n maybe he lashes out n hurts someone once in a while cus it's incredibly traumatic returning to that environment but anyway yeah he would be v fidgety n not like it but in this scenario hes willing to take a chance given how well hes been recovering n how much he trusts u n how much u have helped him n the option had pull so that's why but rly I dont think irl he would have gone back on a boat anywhere near that soon but this is romantic fiction so ::))

Also I have a v specific image of who eugene is w if u cant tell lol so I'm sorry for that specificity but I'm so whipped for him n his gal I lov sm I hope u enjoy n guys I'm so motivated to finally write out the storyline I have for him I'm gonna finally get out his fic ok I promise

#she has a voice!!!#joe mazzello #not queen #nut #the pacific #eugene sledge x reader #eugene sledge #anon asks #answered asks #send asks #send me asks #asks #anons #anon me too wow #anon #send me anons #anonymous

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crazy-hand-official · 5 years

Text

on hole

ok so this posts been a long time a comin’ but i finally feel like im drunk enough to talk about (and never shut the fuck up about) one of my favorite bands... Hole

hole’s music has meant a lot to me since i picked up Live Through This at some boring ass used cd store that also happened to sell erotic fantasy novels about good fathers. but anyway. holes music is for women with bad fathers. women who are kind of fucked up and angry about it, too. women who have trauma and scars and are kinda gross. women who were wronged but somehow by the grace of god empowered in the face of their horrible experiences.

or at least it feels like that, dont it?

that was the main appeal of hole to me, anyway. i fell in love with this album around the second or third listen through. i was like, damn, shes pissed. it was so refreshing to hear a woman just screaming out her frustrations. how cathartic must it have been to be able to not only get it out, but also be taken somewhat seriously? of course hole never got the recognition they deserved. im of the unpopular opinion that they were waayyyy better than nirvana. without sounding kinda sappy... you know what fuck it im not apologizing to any of u. hole totally made me embrace womanhood. it influenced my own, much beloved way to just exist.

but also i guess i just really love tunes.

ps im not here for the courtney killed kurt debate lmfao!!

ok so heres the part where i write my onions about their four studio albums

Pretty On the Inside

their first album and admittedly, my least favorite (that doesnt say much because i still really enjoy it). its sound is much more abrasive. love employs her most guttural screams in this one, but ill get to that. to its credit, its the most experimental but many interpret it as amateur guitar screeches and song bits just hashed together. and maybe theyre right! but what band doesnt have that not-quite-there-yet first album? its an unrefined, beautiful mess. A song title or two is spelled wrong. Garbadge man is one that comes to mind. and for some reason, its just... fitting. its an artistic mistake left in and its so dumb but thats the fun in it! thats the punk in it! they dont give a fuck so why should you? this album is a messy bitch.

track im gonna nut about: mrs. jones

this song is apparently about a back alley abortion, and its just as brutal. love is screaming, just guttural sounds and expletives and nauseating lyrics. when i first heard it, i was absolutely entranced in the atrocity of it all. shes sweating, panting. i will follow you down the sick drain

other favorite tracks: teenage whore, good sister bad sister, pretty on the inside

Live Through This

their most popular album also happens to be my favorite! the start of it all...

i havent shut up about this album since day one because i just like it so much! she refines her skills and just comes out with a successful album that ties an array of horrible themes and wraps them up in a pretty pink bow. its soft aesthetic covers the dark, sickening themes that make the album. rape, anorexia, self harm, self hatred, violence, abuse... the list goes on. someone i one knew asked me why women with bipolar disorder and bpd love hole so much and i had to bite my tongue but to be brutally honest we probably like it because love had the nuts to scream about taboo themes that are so hurtfully common in our lives. just like how the depressed rally behind the smiths. oh that and the musics awesome. but anyway, the cover is a beauty queen the moment shes crowned. its supposed to represent someone who has fought, clawed, and fucked her way to the top. but look! shes the queen! shes the beauty queen! everyone will finally love her and treat her with respect! and all she had to do was sell her soul. all she had to do was get abused over and over to the point of breakdown. but she made it, didnt she? i mean, look how pretty the crown is!

favorite track im not gonna shut up about: i think i would die

im gonna be super lazy and just copy and paste what i wrote up one time when i talked about this song before:

wait nevermind i cant search for my post through my tag because tumblr is broken. something about breastmilk? ill update once i find it lmao.

other favorite tracks: violet, softer softest, miss world

Celebrity Skin

i dont have as many onions on this one. supposedly, love didnt want this album to become ‘the widow album’, but theres a song or two about kurt’s death snuck in there. this albums loud, but not nearly as angry as the first two. in fact, when shes not singing catchy pop tunes about how jaded she is, shes being sincere and heartfelt. all in all, its a fantastic album and my second favorite that hole has to offer.

favorite track of the album: heaven tonight

ive heard two stories about what this songs supposedly about. on one hand, people say its about two lovers. the girl wants to lose her virginity to the guy, so she drives (recklessly) to his house and dies in an accident. she’ll never grow old, she’ll go to heaven tonight. on the other hand, i heard that love just wanted a fun song to sing to her daughter, frances bean. either way, it makes me want to dance. so idk if its about teenagers fucking or about a little girl who just needed a song, but its cool.

other favorite tracks: awful, celebrity skin, reasons to be beautiful

Nobody’s Daughter

years later, hole released their final album. when i first heard it, i was disappointed. the first track was great, but then.... i noticed her voice had deteriorated significantly due to her smoking and other vocal abuse. and i thought, damn, i really wish she released this when she was younger. she sounds normal when she screams, but i guess to compensate when singing softer parts, she does this kind of weird weird thing when enunciating that... ok i cant pinpoint or describe what exactly it is but it kinda sucks. ‘honey’ is the only hole song that i dont like very much, and its the best song to use as an example when trying to explain how her voice got all fucked. now, we cant all be bowie (whose singing voice only got better after years of smoking). but still.

anyways, i listened to the album again, and i mean really listened to it. and actually! the smoker voice is the beauty of it! its a woman who is past jaded and past giving fucks about anyone or anything. its songs from a woman of experience. and she still sounds badass! her voice is so rough, she sounds like she could still fuck anyone up. its exciting.

favorite track to get all sappy about: letter to god

i really found an appreciation for this song. this is a song about someone who cant be saved. and isnt that fucked up? youre so bad, so hated by all of those around you, but no one can hate you as much as yourself. and you try everything to pick yourself up but just nothing works. and everyone has their two cents in what they think will help you. but youve tried every med in the book and youve tried this and that and the other thing, and you come to the conclusion that you just cant be saved. youre drowning. so what do you do? you turn to god, a supernatural all-mighty being. but shit, i hope he can help you. because if he doesnt, fucking nothing ever will. so go write him that letter.

i never wanted to be the person you see

other favorite tracks: nobodys daughter, skinny little bitch

and thats what i have to say about that!

#hole #courtney love #long post #goddamn this took forever to write lol i just had a lot to say #and still have more but ill shut up... for now.#im not actually drunk but i wrote this post last night at like 1 am #well i was drunk but not christmas morning damn

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mini-pretzel · 5 years

Note

alright dude yea EVERY NUMBER FOR SWEETHEART ASKS

… what have i signed up for?

//cracks knuckles

grab a juice box, grab a snack.

we’ll be here for a while. what have i gotten myself into

1. Talk about your first love.

oh jesus. i actually recently found my old journal lol

from way back when. 2009 i think? i was 13 or some shit. jesus. ok. so my first love was actually over the internet.

yeah, i know. nowadays we’re spoiled with tinder n shit, but back in 2009, all we had was myspace and msn and i met this fucker on skype.

i was so ahead of my time.

anyway, it was october 25, 2009.

here’s a snippet from my journal entry:

well i met a guy on skype. he’s a month younger cause my b-day is on oct 14 and his is on nov 18. but i don’t mind it.

yoooo i was into younger guys even at 13, jfc hahhaa //kill me jk hmu

and then on the next page hahahhaa omg

december 2, 2009

well me and ___ are no longer together. well we never began. he broke my heart two times already. going in depression. please don’t bother. first love, ha!

omfg damn, two months. yeah, that lasted long. also old me: ur so dramatic lol

also i was a feisty lil fella, jeez.

2. What’s the most beautiful songs you’ve ever heard in your opinion?

this one

3. How’s your heart feeling right now?

a lil stressed. im like, hoping i can get through all of these questions without my computer crashing. pray 4 me.

4. What kind of self care is your favorite to do?

ok, first thing to note, i fucking love self care. like, too much if im honest.

baths with bubbles and nice smelling scents, lotions, a face mask, taking my time with washing my face and hair and putting on the cutest clothes after. also snacks, always snacks.

when im feeling like spending money: massage. full body. best thing ever. i treat myself to it at least once a year for my b-day.

5. What’s your skincare routine?

ok so i just got a new skincare line. it’s from nature republic. i have a cleanser, a toner and a moisturizer. it’s fairly simple (unlike 9 steps in korean ahhahha, but like i’ll probably get there in time) also i have a peel mask that smells like bananas that i put on twice a week to get rid of dead skin cells. oh and sometimes i do korean face masks, too.

6. How did you get to be so beautiful?

answered that q here

7. Do you have any stuffed animals?

NO! //hides them all away

8. Best trip you’ve ever been on?

thailand. my parents took me w/ them on their honeymoon.

lol idek why either. trust me.

i was just there for the swimming, riding elephants, getting food poisoning and downing two banana splits in one afternoon. good times.

9. Favorite thing about your room?

i live in a jungle. but also in an art gallery cause my mom buys paintings online and resells them, but it’s become such a habit for her they are literally EVERYWHEREE I CANNOT.

also sorry mom i keep forgetting to water the GAZILLION plants THAT YOU HAVE MOVED INTO MY ROOM FOR SOME REASON. they’ll be dead by the time ur home. srry ilyyyyy.

also tae hmu if u want some paintings. i got way too many.

10. Opinion on love?

dude. idk. i mean. it’s definitely not something one can describe easily or fully grasp.

im still waiting for my big love to come along, so like, we can talk about that when we get there.

otherwise, i’ll say this quote that i heard in a song:

give your heart, but keep your head.

11. Are you affectionate?

with certain people. im weird.

with some people im like no, don’t touch me pls. i bite and scratch.

and with others you cannot get them out of my death love grip.

12. Who do you look up to?

i look up to bts a lot. they’re doing a lot of good and they’re very respectable artists.

but i also look up to a lot of writers on here because i want to create worlds and writings like them. i won’t tag them cause rip them trying to find why i tagged them in this long ass post haha.

13. Favorite poet?

@psycho-slytherin

lol sorry bae

ur gonna have to scroll to find out why i tagged u. and then go red and yell at me. hahah.

i also like silentium! by Fyodor Tyutchev

also everything by pushkin (esp ‘i loved you’ fuck that one gets me every time). seriously. that man isn’t called the golden poet in our country for nothing.

i actually don’t read a lot of poetry nowadays unless its my own or my friends’

but im open to recommendations

14. Song that makes you happy? How about one that calms you down when you’re in a bad place?

answered here!

15. Do you play an instrument?

lol no. i was almost taught the piano (lol rip me, i wanna kill my younger lazy ass self) and i dabbled into learning the violin. but that’s like a whole story and a half hahahaha.

16. Do you do art? Using what (pencil, watercolor, etc)?

i used to pencil draw, nothing special tho. a lot of naked ppl lol. butts n boobs were my fave. also pecks whoo.

17. Do you dance? What style of dance?

i don’t! but i want to. i’ve been looking into dancing schools. i might do hip hop n stuff. see if i have the rhythm, i can’t tell from just jumping around my room lol

18. What’s your zodiac sign? Do you believe in astrology?

im a libra yo. diplomatic and indecisive af.

i kinda do? there’s some sense there, but it’s too vague. i think ppl need to look into their charts to really grasp their character.

and for some it may not be true at all, so like. idk. we’re all just doing our best here.

19. Favorite old film?

a russian film that i always watch over the new year. my mom would always joke that the new year doesn’t start till we watch it lol

the irony of fate

20. What’s your hairstyle?

idk

tell

21. What weather is the most beautiful, in your opinion?

cloudy but warm. so there’s not too much sun but u can enjoy a nice walk outside without getting rained on.

22. What upsets you most about the world?

i only have two hands but there are so many cats and dogs. i cannot pet all of them.

23. Are you in love right now?

answered ;)

24. Do you have a crush? If so, talk about them!

here u go

25. Do you have pets? Talk about something sweet about them!

i don’t! but i wish i did i would shower them with my love.

but @the-trth-untold dogs are the cutest and @psycho-slytherin cats make my day. pls spam meeeee. also i love @paristae cat too.

26. Do you have a lucky number?

yup. 22.

27. Have you ever wished on a star? What about on a fallen eyelash?

i’ve never seen a fallen star, so no.

but i’ve wished on a fallen eyelash, always.

28. Do you believe emoji spells to work?

emoji spells??

bruh i’ve never even heard of it till this ask wtf is that shit

bruh i mean if it works for ppl all power to them??? idk i never tried it

29. Do you believe in magic in general?

i believe in magic tricks. but magic died for me when santa stopped existing.

30. What’s the most beautiful thing in life, In your opinion?

here

31. Opinion on the color pink? What about baby blue?

gorgeous colors. i quite like mauve pink and deep dark blue tho.

but baby blue looks amazing on some folks. oof.

32. What instrumental sound is your favorite?

piano. always.

33. Do you like the sound of wind? What about the sound of rain?

answered :)

34. Who makes you happy?

bts and all of my mutuals

35. What makes you happy?

sleep, food, music, writing, cuddles. and forehead kisses.

also more listed here

36. Imagine your ideal life, the life you wish to make, what will that look like?

i live in a nice apartment. doesn’t have to be expensive, just nice and clean with wooden floors and spacious windows.

i have all the necessities that i need and im never lonely.

i have also touched countless hearts by my books and am able to live comfortably just from my works.

haha. you said ideal, right?

also have someone to spend it with. someone i’d write poetry about daily. a bestfriend first and foremost before a lover.

37. Do you wear makeup? If so what’s your favorite type of makeup or specific makeup product? Favorite store to buy makeup?

answered this fella here

38. Do you wear dresses? If so what’s your favorite dress you own?

i used to have dresses. but not anymore.

i liked the long sleeve sweater black one i had with a low cut. it was gorgeous. i dont have much of boobage but i always felt like i was sexy in it.

39. Ever been heartbroken? How do you deal with it?

yep. you just kind of take it one day at a time. some days will be better than the last. some days you’ll cry a little harder and some days you move on a little further. it takes time. make sure you have good people around you so you don’t fall into depression.

40. Who’s your closest friend? What do you love about them?

ah, to be honest i don’t have a closest friend. i’ve always been the kind of person that always had friends around her but never anyone too deep. and i kinda wish i did. i just don’t know who would come to fill that spot. people always leave, so i kind of gave up assigning that spot. i think the people that want to be in that spot will show themselves and tell me. otherwise i will not assume or assign.

41. Introvert or extrovert?

introvert. but i have my moments. i can be charming and friendly when i want to.

42. Do you like MBTI? What’s your MBTI?

i had to look it up cause i forgot what it was lol

i took the test a while back: im infp.

there’s not a lot of us, apparently. which is cool. shout out to all infps out there!

43. Would you be a fairy, a mermaid, a vampire, a siren, or an angel?

hmmm. what kind of fairy tho? lol

maybe vampire? idk i’d be a sexy immortal lady that’d bite innocent boys and girls that just want to have a good time lol

44. What’s the best song a friend has ever introduced to you?

this oneee

45. Parlez-vous français?

no~

46. Most beautiful place you’ve been to?

butchart gardens

47. Where/when do you truly feel at home?

here

48. Does smiling put you in a better mood? Try it right now, you’re smile is gorgeous!

kdjfalkfjdlkdsaf //hides

this ask is flirting with me…

well that’s as much action as im going to get this new years eve lol

49. Favorite shoe you own?

my sweet rose gold kicks, yo.

50. Can you walk in stilettos? Do you like them?

lol no. i cannot. and i do not. im not made for heels. im tall enough as it is.

51. Do you feel loved?

every time i talk to my mutuals yes //cry

52. How do you express love to those you care about?

by saying cute words and by clinging to them like a koala.

53. Favorite term(s) of endearment?

sweetheart, dear, idk im just like anything honestly. love, baby. go crazy.

i also love mean terms like idiot and stuff. or nicknames that hold inside jokes, something between the two of you only.

54. Most romantic thing someone’s ever done for you?

hasn’t happened yet. so yeah. any takers? lol

55. When is the happiest you’ve ever been?

reading a good book for the first time. or just experiencing something new that i end up loving for the first time. nothing can replace that first feeling.

56. Are you happy right now?

happy im almost done hahhahahahaa. ha.

no but srsly i am

57. What makes you smile?

stupid jokes. puns. someone laughing and showing themselves fully.

58. Do you laugh a lot?

i mean. i think so? i try. i make jokes a lot and laugh at myself if that counts?

59. What’s your favorite kind of aesthetic?

ughhhh comfy bf aestheticcc

60. Do you want to marry for love or for some other reason (like money)?

i have a sour view on marriage. so only if i love someone hard enough. but even then i don’t know if i’ll do it. it hurts too much to think about marriage and wedding rings for me.

61. What would your dream wedding look like? Do you want to get married?

see above.

62. Favorite flower?

orchid.

63. Favorite artist?

claude monet.

64. Favorite music artist?

bts lol

no surprises there.

65. How kind do you think you are? Is kindness important to you?

its not something for me to decide. i try to be kind to everyone, but how it is interpreted is different for everyone. i’d like to think i’m kind.

and yes, very important. especially being kind to yourself.

66. Ever made a playlist for someone?

yes i have. i love making playlists for people. i don’t get asked that enough.

67. Do you have anything you do to physically comfort you when your sad? Such as a favorite blanket? Or a relaxing bath?

music. music always helps. and tea.

ideally i’d love for someone to massage my scalp, but hahah no one’s been able to do it the right way. when it’s done right i melt and forget about everything.

68. Early bird or night owl?

night owl.

moonchild, lol

69. Morning routine?

wake up, look in the mirror, look away from the mirror, go back to bed.

70. Night routine?

SHOWER N NICE SMELLING LOTIONS. AND SKINCAREEEEEE OOOOF.

also fresh sheets.

71. What is the most lovely quality a person could have in your opinion?

answered here

72. Do you cry often? Does crying help you get the emotions out? Do you feel better after?

i only cry when i watch or read something. and it does help. i always feel better after. but i tend to keep my emotions hidden away, the negative ones at least.

73. Do you like hugs?

i love hugs. come hug me, bro.

u must smell nice tho.

74. When was the last time you kissed someone?

august.

75. Are you small or tall?

tall. 175cm.

76. Do you like wholesome memes?

answered

77. Favorite thing about the past?

cd players. chia pet commercials. flip phones. mom jeans.

78. Do you ever wonder about the future?

all the time. esp mine. i have no idea what the fuck im doing.

79. Have you ever lived in a different country than you currently live in?

yep. i’ve lived in america and canada before. and traveled a lot.

80. Do you like plane flights? Airports?

i don’t mind flying. and depends on the airport. some are better than others.

81. Sunrises or sunsets?

sunrises. every day is a new day~

82. The beach or a forest?

bitch- i mean beach. :)

83. What time of day do you tend to be in the best mood?

any time i am eating. or sleeping. or reading.

im so close to being done omg. this is fun tho.

84. Do you push yourself to act together and in a good mood even when you aren’t?

always. ain’t nobody gonna deal with that baggage lol

85. Favorite kind of tree?

japanese maple tree

86. Do you care about the health of the Earth?

i mean i don’t even care about my health that much tbh, i need to work on that.

87. What did you like most about your childhood, if anything?

that i got to travel and learned english very young.

88. Do you read a lot? What’s your favorite book?

answered here

89. What are you most nostalgic for at the moment?

old school disney

90. What’s your favorite personality trait you have?

answered this bad boi here

91. List at least ONE thing you love about your appearance.

eyes. have to work on my ass tho. squats baby.

92. When was the last time you truly felt calm, without much of anything to worry about?

after a massage.

93. Do you worry a lot?

eh, i worry enough, i suppose. there’s just some stuff you can’t control.

94. The dazzling lights of the city or the relaxing countryside?

dazzling lights of the city. especially in the evening. and in the winter. ahhhhh. someone hold my hand and walk with meeeeee.

95. Ever changed the shoelaces on one of your shoes? For what reason?

no i haven’t had that pleasure, lol

maybe next year

96. Favorite pastry?

BUTTER. CROISSANT.

97. Do you like doing little acts of kindness?

yes. uwu

98. How’s your day/night going?

well im finally done with this ask holy shit, and i need to resume writing my namjoon fic so… fantastic. i also have noodles. whoooo.

thank you for reading this whole damn mess of an ask.

ily

#ask #asks #the-trth-untold #klsfjflksa #omg i can't believe i did all of that #holy shit #lkdsjflkda #about #seriously

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spellcastersjudgement · 6 years

Note

Jaden nd bastion for that domestic ask thing? >:3c

THE OTP YES i have so many feelings and everyone needs to hear me sob over the nerd baby and his superhero

also that icon is the content i look for on this hellsite well done

who is the big spoon/little spoon Jaden is the little spoon!! he prefers being the big spoon tbh he likes curling up against bastions fuckin ripped back but jaden always falls asleep first because he has to get this twelve hours or else he will be a grumpy boy but bastion?? bastion stays up all night drinking coffee and doing god knows what bc he’s the type of guy thats like ‘hey jaden im gonna go read a bit before i got to bed’ and then he fuckin stays up all night because he has no self control lmao so when it’s like 3am and he’s finally put down his book or finished dicking around on the computer he finally gets in bed and he doesnt want to wake up his husband (yes theyre married in my mind ok im love them) so he just lays down and pulls the human kuriboh to his chest and falls asleep

what is their favorite non-sexual activity the standard answer is Card Games but besides dool masters they like to go on drives and look at stars and talk abt whatever. bastion is a chemical engineer and jaden’s his professional duelist trophy husband so they dont get to be together as much as they want bc jaden’s tournament schedule so when they’re together they gotta make it count u know so bastion will pick jaden up from the airport and they’ll just start driving out of the city talking about DM or what bastion’s been up to or whatever’s going through jaden’s mind (an enigma lmao) and then when there are no more streetlights to make it difficult to see the stars they’ll pull over and lay on the hood and cuddle and keep talking. it’s like 4am before they finally go home and since they’re going to sleep at the same time jaden finally gets his chance to be the big spoon

who uses all the hot water in the morning getting jaden to shower is a fucking struggle he’s like a cat. living in the slifer dorm made him accustomed to being a generally gross person in general so he lives off dry shampoo and body spray so he doesn’t smell like hassleberry after a workout so that leaves bastion to take all of the water because he showers every morning after his run and insists on h is hair being perfect and well taken care of. like the guy has at least five different hair care products in the shower at all times while jaden, even though he’s dumb thick rich, buys that 3-in-1 crap he and syrus used to make stretch for a month back in college. jaden is also known to stick his kuriboh hair under the sink and shake it out like a dog because he is a gross boy that usually gets up about ten minutes before he has to leave so there’s no time for an actual shower and we’ve gotten away from the actual question but the tldr is bastion stands under the hot water he’s got one of those mirrors to shave in the shower while he’s doing his deep conditioning treatment and has a pore strip on his nose for beautiful ™ skin

what they order from take out this one ties in a lot to my sageshipping BrOTP headcanons (on god there needs to be a brotp ask so i can scream to the world my love for bastion/alexis friendship) but the bit of background is that bastion and alexis would always order from this indian place that was open real late at night when they were in grad school together (no delivery at duel academy cause its an island u know) so it has a special place in his heart. jaden is a wimp when it comes to spice but since bastion loves it they order it anyway and the people that deliver the food know to make it wimpy baby spicy for jaden so he doesn’t end up sweating half his body weight up and crapping out lava four hours later

what is the most trivial thing they fight over oh god they dont fight a lot because they love and appreciate each other’s eccentricities but if they’re going to fight its going to be over who’s doing the driving. they both love cars, bastion likes taking it apart and modifying them and whatnot and jaden likes the aesthetique (though his aesthetique is painting flames on a corolla jaden u lil shit smh) and they both like to go fast so when they go out they bitch abt who gets to drive. bastion tells jaden he doesnt appreciate the feel of the machine and jaden says bastion drives like a fucking old man so they end up settling the matter with rousing game of rock paper scissors

who does most of the cleaning NEITHER OH MY GOD theyre both total slobs. bastion’s desk and home office is covered in his notebooks and duel monster cards, his walls covered with god knows what (formulas, dates, to-do lists, grocery lists) the guy just grabs the sharpie and starts writing because he’s afraid of forgetting something if he doesnt get it down right then. jaden lives in filth he has three day old bowls of cereal at his desk and uses used napkins as tissues he is certifiably NASTY. anyway they hire a housekeeper to make sure the entire house doesnt fall into disarray and she’s like their surrogate mother making sure they eat more than takeout and coffee and making sure the house smells nice. they call her Mama Cheryl (good middle aged mom name) and she’s the embarrassing mom at jadens local tournaments the kind that prints out huge pictures of his face and wears shirts with Neos on them and cheers for her boy v loudly. again we’re away from the question but i have a lot of headcanons abt this i’ll probs put in my dissertation lol

what has a season pass in their DVR hmmm this is an interesting one…i like to think jaden loves crime shows because they’re heroes and he likes watching the good guys ™ win in the end. his favorite show is psych (which u all should watch its hilarious) but since that ended a while ago he’s been in to criminal minds and SVU because he likes watching the really diabolical criminals get caught. bastion never knew his mans was into such dark stuff until he opened the season pass thingy and got quite the heart attack because he thought jaden was all butterflies and flowers and funny stuff but bastion had to learn the duality of man the hard way. bastion doesn’t watch television that much but his guilty pleasure is vikings on the history channel and stuff on the discovery channel because he loves learning what a nerd

who controls the netflix queue jaden is the one that likes to watch netflix the most but i wouldnt say he’s in control per se. they’re usually down for watching what each other likes but in the end jaden will sometimes end up superseding bastion because dammit bas we are not watching a documentary about the dead sea scrolls you dont even believe in god and bastions like fine youre cute we can watch Castle (even though thats not on netflix but i wish it were)

who calls up the super/landlord when the heat’s not working jaden. jaden all the way. bastion brings up a a wikihow article about how to fix the hvac system and he’s like I CAN FIX THIS and jadens like ily babe but you work with chemicals not with this kind of thing ur gonna break it like the time u tried to fix the sink and fuckin clogged the shit out of it we are calling Cheryl and Cheryl’s like jaden im a housekeeper call someone who actually does this for a living. anyway while theyre waiting for the professionals to get there bastion tries to demonstrate he knows what he’s doing he is smort by writing the steps and shit on the wall and jadens like youre so cute but no dont touch the heating system. he has to distract his lil nerd by asking him about what deck he should use for his next tournament or what the probability of drawing three polymerizations on the first turn is and bastion loves talking about math so jaden keeps asking questions until the system is fixed (he doesnt remember much of bastions mathematical explanations but bastion looks so cute with his eyes all bright and shiny talking about statistics)

who leaves their stuff around BOTH they are slobs. jadens a bit worse if we’re being honest because while bastion leaves his papers and cards around schmaden schmuki leaves his underwear and food and cups in the living room and is prone to stripping off his clothes for one reason or another and just laying on the couch watching ESPN with his goddamn pants on the floor and saying they were constricting his knees or some shit when bastion asks why he feels the need to be half naked all the time. bastion had his own room in college so he doesnt quite understand why jadens comfortable just answering the door with a trail of clothing behind him because most people that dont know him assume he’s been getting bizzay but nah he just be Like That

who remembers to buy the milk jaden do because he drinks milk in his coffee. bastion drinks it black so if theres no milk its like eh whatever but jaden is a mess without his caffeine and he hates how bitter and gross it is when theres no milk in it so even if jaden’s not the one going to the grocery store he’ll write it on the wall so bastion will remember it because his mans dont check his texts that often but anything on that wall he fuckin remembers and jaden doesnt understand why he be Like That

who remembers anniversaries both! they are dumb thick in love with each other and they like to plan little things to do for the anniversary of their first date, when they made it official, their wedding, etc. jaden is much more extravagant and will do something like jump on the bed until bastion wakes up and then drag him out for breakfast and get atticus to sing a really off-key renditions of classic love songs and bastion blushes so hard and its so cute it should be criminal lmao. bastion will get jaden a cute little gift like one of those pictures where the artist takes a photo and paints it so they can hang it on their wall. or bastion will fine tune his duel disk or get him a new card for his deck. they are in big gay love and i love them so much

thanks for this ask on god i just wrote 1800 words of tutorship feels i have a problem lol

#sailorspencer #ygogx #the boy #bastion #the otp #tutorshipping #i had sooo much fun writing this im love fluffy domestic tutorship boys

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the-mf-bread-babies · 4 years

Text

loneliness </\///\|/3

a fic by rocco wulfram north, m.d.

(found that name on hardcore baby names)

–chmapter jop–

before the tríp

It was a normal day for the Skullsmashers: go to somewhere, kill people, be gay, sleep, get brunch. Right now was the first part of their daily routine, and they were getting ready for it.

“holy fuck nova could you hurry the shit up i have to brush my fucking teeth you bitch” Ace hissed, knocking repeatedly on the bathroom door. “Fuck You. I'm Going To Go To Hell Itself” Nova gargled back, mouth full of mouthwash. More banging was heard; the door had seen better days.

Several feet away was Jake, all dressed up and ready to go, waiting for the others to get ready. He sat on the couch gayly in the living room down the hall, scrolling through Apocalypse Twitter. ‘every day i throw down an unpeeled boiled egg from the rooftop to simulate fear and unreadiness’ he read, a tweet from Orc's account. What the fuck. Classic Orc.

“ah fuck !! am i late !!” Jake turned around to see Damon panicking and counting the daggers in his pockets. “no no not at all. i just get ready really quickly to throw everyone into a state of disarray” Jake replied in an honest, monotone voice. “come sit down”

Damon sat down nervously next to his captain, knowing he'll ask him for Bambi on the PS2 now. “look. look at them those dumbshits” Jake uttered, pointing to Ace and Nova arguing. “those little bastards are completely unaware that ive put a fake cockroach puppet in the mirror. watch now” he added, pulling out a cheap remote control and pressing a button.

*sound of glass breaking* Jake sighed. “okay maybe that wasn't really the best idea” Nova screamed, running out of the bathroom and confusing Ace. “Fucking Roach!!!!!!!!!!!!!” she yelled, already too far away from them to be heard clearly. “huh. well okay then!” Ace grinned, going into the bathroom.

“i'll guard. you do your thing okay? :-)” Damon said to Jake, smiling mischievously. Jake's heart skipped a beat as he was suddenly flustered by the killer's action. «oh god, shit's just gonna get more complicated from here» he thought, staring into nothingness.

Damon braced himself against the bathroom door, eager to hear Ace's chaotic screaming. “ready ??” Damon asked, sending Jake back to the real world. “hhuh??????? oh yea right” he mumbled before beginning to control the cockroach with the remote. “this shit cost me like 200 bucks so it better be worth it”

HOLY MOTHER OF

F U C K

JAKE JESUS FUCKING CHRIST

WHAT THE S H IT DUDE

ace will remember this.

Jake cackled loudly, rolling on the floor and hitting the table with his fist. “LMAOOOOK FUCK YOUUU” he yelled, angering Ace even more. “I WILL GODDAMN SKIN UOUR FUCKIGN ISTINEDSTINES OLD MAN I SWEAR TKC FUCKF” they yelled back, pushing the door repeatedly. “IM GOIND TO FUCKIGN DIR HERE YOU BITCH”

“ah . ace ? could you move a little please ? i'm trying to get in ?” Damon said annoyingly kindly, making Ace jab a fake knife through the space between the door and the doorway. “THIS IS THE BEST FUCKIGN KNIFE I HAVE ON ME RIGT NOW BUT PLEADR JSUT FUCK O F F”

“hm ... i'll have to check in with the blacksmith today to know what this one's worth... possibly rusted here, though.... could also just be dirt tho.....” Damon mumbled, examining the knife. “FUCKING HEL P” Ace yelled in distress, his breath seeping through the door. “ace. brush your fucking teeth that's disgusting.”

“IM FUCKIF D TRYINF THERES JUST A FUCKGIFN ROSCH HEREERF” Ace explained fearfully, trying their best to get some pity from the other. “a what ?? don't think we have those here” “A FUCKIFN COKROSKC” “corrosion ???? how bad” “FUCK YOU A GODDMAND COKCROACH” “girls?? what?? are they milfs??” “HOW THEE DFUCKDB DID YEOU HEAR FTHAY WHATS DUCUNESKRHI”

Jake's hand slapped against Damon's shoulder as a way of saying thanks. “good work out there soldier. us skullsmashers really need someone like you damon” He said confidently, disguising his flirting as a compliment. “cool !! you too man !!” The shorter man replied, completely unaware of the flirting and continuing to yearn for the mutual love between him and Jake. fuckin idiots lmao

“alrighty fuckers, let's move!”

Rachel's voice sent Ace and Nova into a panic, making them scram to look for their weapons and equipment. “Got everything ya need? W'ain't makin' any stops; tryin'a save fuel.” Shaw asked, leaning against the wall at the entrance menacingly. “When the fuck did you even come here.” Dennis asked in surprise, carrying suitcases. “Hmph. Man never tells his secrets, young man.” She replied, tilting her cowboy hat. “What…”

Aaron was sitting peacefully in the trunk of a pickup truck they had, only to be met by a large backpack to the face. “ah!!!!!!!! very sorry!!!!!!! we'll be going in separate vehicles, and trunk space is very much needed!!!!!!!!” Whitney said, apologizing. “Ah. Well. O-okay then.” Aaron stuttered out, holding back tears from the painful impact the backpack had. Pretty sure he'll get a bruise from that.

Henderson and Rachel were waiting in the front seats of yet another pickup truck. To pass the time, they took very cringey pictures of each other pretending to be on Cowboy TikTok™. “Do one where you're pregnant with the truck's baby!” Henderson suggested, making Rachel flip the bird at her but begrudgingly agreeing with her stupid idea. “i literally would skin you alive.” She spat out, putting a pumpkin inside her shirt. “That's… literally so sexy, babe.” Henderson replied back, taking more pictures.

Meanwhile, Andre was busy explaining to Cyprus, who was in a small glass jar, that forcibly entering Damon's bloodstream and mutilating his entire body was not very nice, with Orc and Sarah judging. “YES BUT UNLIMITED POWER COULD BE RIGHT IN OUR HANDS ANDRE” “That'd very mean of you to do, and could actually probably kill you too in the process.” he explained to deaf ears. Well, technically no ears. Yet. “CYPRUS I KNOW IT SOUNDS STUPID BUT YOU COULD LITERALLY DO THE SAME BUT LIKE IN AN ELEPHANTS BODY DUDE” Orc suggested, only to be ignored. “cmon cyprus just pleaaaaase dont kill ppl ok”

Jake looked outside, then back at Damon. “well guess its time to move!” “yea ... but at what cost.” Damon replied confusingly, making a sad face. “did you know today is…” he started, then regretted saying anything. “nvm…” He turned away from the punk, sniffling and walking to Dennis and Aaron.

“damon” “??” Jake asked quietly, craning his neck a little before making the decision to leave the new recruit alone. Instead, he joined Henderson and Rachel in their odd activities.

“hey guys. i fucking miss sans.” Damon confessed, taking a seat next to Dennis. “My nose is bleeding.” Aaron pointed out. “ok. today's sunday. and you Know what That Means… Meant,” The boy continued, facing the ground. “Kanye West he…” Dennis began (begun???? idk). “… liked.” Aaron continued, also affected emotionally by the departure of not only Sans, but Komaeda too.

Jake stared longingly at the family, wishing he was a part of it too. He truly felt Ariel Little Mermaid's desire to become human. Seven Vagánias… that was a risk he was willing to take for him. He would shave his eyebrows off for that man, and he just might do it right now.

“Jake? Don't do that. Please don't fucking do that.” Henderson suddenly interrupted, surprising Jake. “do what” Henderson squinted her eyes, giving Jake a suspicious look. “That's the face you make when you want to do silly things…” She pointed out.

“You had that when you almost electrocuted yourself at that stable, you had that when you threw the dart at Scoran, you had that when you glued Marcus and Reese–” “OKAY OKAY I GET IT IM A DUMMY SILLY LITTLE BITCH BOY OK”

Rachel put the pumpkin back on the ground and went to the two friends, curious to know what the quarrel was about. “what's poppin gayboy!” She loudly asked, slapping Jake's forearm strongly. “i am in peril and shaking and crying” “daddy issues” “yget?” He explained, gesturing towards the Russells.

“ah. please clarify what kind.” Rachel said, knowing Jake has a very questionable taste for fictional middle-aged men, such as Sigma Overwatch and the guy from the cowboy game. “the fuckin. family one rachel” “look at em just vibing and simply being gay”

Rachel and Henderson gave eachother a look that questioned whether Damon and Jake were going to be a thing or not, since Jake's technically still with Andre. “Considering the fact that they adopted Damon, they could probably also adopt you if you wanted to.” Henderson suggested, knowing Jake wouldn't like this and would stupidly unknowingly accidentally confess his love for Damon to them both right then and there.

“what?????” “ew no thatd be fuckin incest or some shit what the fuck” Jake said, being grossed out. “what would be the incestuous part, jacon. we did not say or hint at anything related to incest.” Rachel asked, making Jake's hair stand up in panic. “fuCKIN NOTHING DUH” “BUT LIKE YKNOW I GET CRUSHES REALLY EASILY YEA??????” Jake explained weirdly.

“So there's a new one right now, huh…” Henderson asked… feeling like she was in Ace Attorney. “no!!!! no wait” “well yea– no.. but i–” “fuck You but yes” Jake grumbled. “ah no, we won't tell, obviously. it was just getting way too obvious, so we just wanted to hear it from both sides.” “WH” Rachel said mysteriously, getting into the driver's seat of the pickup truck. “okay guys let's go!!” She yelled out, starting the engine. “THE FUCK IS THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN??????” “BOTH SIDES???”

chapter dos

two four trucks

The journey to god knows fuckin where idk didn't plan i guess a fuckin cabin or smth idk was long and torturous, especially when Rachel said that cryptic-ass thing before going. What the fuck was that supposed to mean, bro.

sudden interlude for seating arrangements !!

truck 1: Henderson, rachel, whitney, CYPRUS

truck 2: jake, damon, marge, Andre, Aaron

truck 3: ace, Nova, Dennis

truck 4: sarah, ORC, Shaw, viper

truck two.

Jake awkwardly patted Marge's head in the backseat of the truck, avoiding eye contact with Damon and Andre. Of course he had to go on a three-day trip in the same car with his ex, his crush, AND his crush's father. God, he was pretty sure this was the lab rats' doing.

“cows.” Damon pointed outside, earning Andre's attention. “Holy– what are those?” He asked, taking his sunglasses off to admire the beautiful little cows. “Cows… we drink their milk and wear their skin as jackets…” Aaron explained, his eyes drifting from the road momentarily. “They can have best friends and stuff. Really nice guys. Also, they're expensive as hell.”

“Y–You do what. Their skin??” Andre asked, his voice a pitch higher than usual. “yeah and we rate them based on which layer it is. also, like their meat, expensive as hell. but still very cool.” Damon said, confusing Andre even more. “they also give us cheese and ice cream and whipped cream and stuff. underrated little babies. they deserve better.” “they also have nose rings which are punk as hell–”

“Wait, why the nose– cheese?! Cheese?! AND ice cream??!” Andre asked again, his mind attempting to comprehend the greatness that cows are. “Oh man, you are not ready to hear about pigs.” Aaron said jokingly. “What the fuck are pigs???” “Sausages, ham slices, bacon, lard, leather too, rotisserie–” “aaron please i'm gonna throw up.” “Oh, right. Sorry,”

Jake sat quietly in his seat, just now realising how much of his world Andre's missing. Sure, his world was much cooler, but do they have sheep? Palm trees? Penguins? Thought not, bitch. “andre do you know what a kangaroo is” He asked, breaking his silence like that one YouTuber.

“A what?” “kangaroo. some of them are buff as shit and they move by hopping. they cant hop backwards and they also keep their babies in little pouches attached to them and their bones and guts are exposed on the inside of said pouch. baby kangaroos are about the size of a jellybean, and the adults can box you”

“They what” “yea they're weird as fuck.” “its from australia so” “That sounds fake.” “oh man. wombats bro. quokkas. fuckin drop bears and flying foxes. PLATYPUSES!!!” “wombats poop in cubes and quokkas are always smiling” “Koala bears hold onto tree branches and eat their mom's shit, which is the leaves of said tree branches.” “Please stop what the fuck” “ohoho fucking GEESE” “GET IM JAKE MY NEIGHBOR HAD FUCKIN THREE OF THOSE BITCHES”

truck three.

The three sat silently, with the exception of Dennis, who was swearing at random times. “You call that a fuckin’ turn, old man?! HUH?!!” Ace's shoulders jumped, the sudden exclamations preventing them from sleeping through the trip. “This Is Probably The Last Time We'll See Each Other Alive.” Nova stated calmly. “i slept for like two minutes last night… didn't even get to wear conditioner today. unrelated but just sharing my struggles with you.” Ace said, shifting into a more comfortable sleeping position.

Dennis overheard the two talking, and opted to stay quiet for the rest of the trip, before stumbling across a strange sight. “FROG!!!” he yelled, waking up the duo. “he said fuck! he said the f” Ace yelled out while rubbing their eyes. “Are We Aliven't” Nova asked, stretching. “Sadly, no, but the good news is, I found a frog!” Dennis excitedly said, opening the car door.

“WHAT” “THAT SHITS GONNA POISON US WHAT THE FUCK” Nova yelled out, unfortunately not loud enough for Dennis to hear it. The man kept walking towards the creature that was technically an alien to them, and picked it up with watery hands. “DENNIS YOU'RE GONNA FUCKING KILL US ALL!!!!!!! DENNIS!!!!!!”

“So, you kids know how to handle a frog?” Dennis asked in a wholesome tone, alerting the two even more. “KILL IT KILL IT FUCKING KILL IT” “Oh, are you guys allergic to this little guy? Sorry, I'll put it in the dashboard instead.” “GET ITBOUT WHAT THE FUCK DENNID JESUS” “… Huh?” “POSIOJ DART FOGR” Nova shouted, hiding behind the passenger seat and being pushed by Ace, who was also going to hide there. “BITCH”

Dennis and the frog stared at them in confusion, hearing their horrified screams. “This is… a wood frog… not a poison dart… that one would probably die in this climate…” he explained plainly, his hands gently cupping the newfound friend. “oh. ok” Ace muttered quietly, while Nova maintained an awkward silence. “You can… pat them very softly if you want.” Dennis suggested. “Or spray the shit outta them. That could work too.”

Nova nervously held out her hand to pat the frog, then smiled in succeeding to do so. “Death Quivers Before Me” She said, proceeding to pat it even more. “can i do the spray thing.” Ace asked, their voice quiet as a whisper. “Yeah, sure. Go right ahead.”

*the frog was going to die so technically they didnt like fuck up the ecosystem or smth. do not attempt this irl.

truck four.

“What jolly tunes d'ya have on this here truck. Fellas.” Shaw asked, observing the radio. “uh, really, i don't think it'll be necessary!!!!!” Viper nervously said, only to be ignored. “NONSENSE! ONE'S TASTE IN SHANTIES PROVES TO BE A WINDOW INTO THEIR LIVES.” Orc said wisely, patting them on the shoulder. “i guess that's good advice, but really–”

TWO TRUCKS HAVING SEX. TWO TRUCKS HAVING SEX. MY MUSCLES. MY MUSCLES. INVOLUNTARILY FLEX.

“I SEE. A MATING SONG FOR YOUR SPECIES?” “my truck f### playlist,.,.,.” Viper tried to mute the speaker to no avail as most of the buttons on the control panel were very much broken. “I'm. Very sorry for this, pardner. But this doesn't sound so bad. I could put this in a jukebox…” Shaw consoled, only making them panic more. “im so f#ckig sorry” They said, before smashing the radio with a briefcase.

They all paused for a moment, unsure of what to do. “i have spotify…” Sarah croaked, holding up her phone. “they have lemon demon too, if you want…” She muttered, scrolling through the song choices. “does anyone want to listen to wet a–” “no.” “okay.”

The truck grew even quieter for a while, until Shaw gave a suggestion to pass the time. “Wanna play 20 questions?” “I'll start: how many folks have y'all killed?” Viper gave the assassin a horrified look, confusing her. “I think mine's around 150. No… 145…” She confessed, rubbing her chin. “Wait, or was it 160?”

“like six. do you like girls, and, follow up question, do you also coincidentally like short girls with long hair.” Sarah said without hesitation, stopping Orc from answering the first question. “Yes! I literally have a wife!” Shaw shouted happily, rolling up her sleeves to show Sarah her tattoos. “This one is her setting herself on fire and me getting inspired–” “ah, yes–” “That one was a total cover-up! Previously, it was the names of my exes, all thirteen of them, but now, it's my cat!”

After some time of receiving a bit too much RexShaw lore, Sarah finally got the answer she so desperately needed from Viper. This was the verdict that determines whether she could make a move or not. This answer could change– “i am gay and do not get attracted to women. thank you.” Ah. Back to more hunting. “I am a lesbian! High-five!” Shaw exclaimed.

And finally, the first truck.

truck one.

Loud country music blared in the truck as they drove by the snowy mountains of uhh. Winsnow. Like winter and snow. They had all chosen separate routes in order to cover more land and see if there were any new developments in the area.

“BRANDY!!! FETCH ANOTHER ROUNF!!!!!!” Rachel screeched as she drummed on the dashboard. “AND SHE FJSJS” Henderson kept driving, searching every inch of land for a rest stop to stretch her legs and also listen to something else.

“hendy.” Rachel said, getting her girlfriend's attention. “do you wanna buy that slime that cleans cars and stuff?” Henderson stared into the distance, pondering. “Hm. There's always the possibility of the slime disappearing under mysterious circumstances and turning up in the trash can the next day covered in saliva, so.” Whitney looked away, feeling attacked.

“yeah, that's a problem.” Rachel muttered, her hand instinctually moving to Henderson's. “Please don't crash the car.” She begged, looking sadly at her. “is there a domino's nearby. i heard they have that new peanut butter chocolate lava cake.” Rachel asked, cupping Henderson's face gently.

“Rachel. There's fucking mountains.” Henderson pointed out, gesturing towards their surroundings. “That shit will freeze.” Rachel put her head down in disappointment. “yeah. damn.” “MORE FLESH!!! MORE FLESH!!! MORE FUCKING FLESH!!!”

Oh yeah, Cyprus was here the whole time. “why does the metal say fuck?????” And Whitney too! “MIND YOUR OWN GODDAMN BUSINESS. FLESH NEEDED!” Cyprus yelled out, resembling a hungry toddler on a road trip.

“do you want like a burger or something......” Whitney asked, judging the spirit. “FLESH” “like are you more of a kfc or a mcdonalds guy” “NEED FLESH” She gave the couple a look, one that was kind of undecipherable due to her lack of normal face details like eyebrows, visible pupils, etc.

“So, three peanut butter lava cakes and one meat lover's… what else?” “ah!!!!!! no lava cake for me, i'm on a diet!!!!!! dirt and dirt only!!!!!!!!!!! also fish bones as a treat” Whitney corrected, her eyes searching for a nearby body of water. “Or, we could get Cyprus the fish meat, and Whitney the bones.” “sounds good to me!!!!!!!!” “FLESH”

…

“welcome to domino's! can i get your order?”

“three peanut butter lava cakes, please. that's all. thank you.” Rachel said, her seat switched with Henderson's, who was too nervous to order. “okay but they each take like three hours to make” “what.” “yea you can stop by like the grocery store up ahead” “fuck you for ordering this” “i–” “fuck off”

the grocewy stowe

The truck stopped by the front of the building, Rachel telling them to go in first while she searches for a good parking spot. Much to Henderson's disappointment.

“My lover…” Henderson said with fear in her voice. “it's okay… go along… i… i have to do this for you…” “for you all… i won't forget the good that you've done to me and everyone i've ever known…” “Rach, please don't go, I lo–” “you all are the kindest people… heaven may wait eagerly for you, but as for me, the ground trembles for its latest meal. fresh from the oven, i will enter the furnace…” “why the fuck would they cook you again” “because i'm TOAST!!” “haha”

“Kill Ronald Reagan while you're at it… I forgot which one he is but I'm pretty sure he's a total bitch…” “i will meet you doomguy” “heeeeeeeh” Rachel whined weakly as she slowly drove over to the spot she wanted.

MOTHERFUCKER.

A silver Honda Civic quickly made its way into there, angering the scientist. “not on my watch, fucker.” Rachel muttered, sliding the pickup truck across the road. She slammed her palm onto the car horn, which terrified even a murder of crows.

“huh wonder who that is” “hm anyway which fish do u like ???? :-)”

A woman who seemed to be in her late 40s exited the Honda Civic, throwing a rather large and flashy boa around her neck. “Jesús, ít's cold in hère,” The lady commented, putting on a pair of expensive-looking sunglasses. “Márie, come along, ma cheghhy!” (i forgot how to spell it)

oh, son of a B I T C H .

it's the french lady who smells weird.

Of course, seeing your enemy in any circumstance that wasn't planned was clearly a little scary and will probably be your last day alive, but bumping into them at a Target was kinda… awkward.

Both the hazelnut and the dolphin were less armed and armoured than usual, and there weren't any bodyguards or security. Usually, if a top leader goes anywhere, the standard protocol was to do thirty separate background checks on the location and have it guarded up somewhere in the three months before their arrival.

So, obviously, someone in Top 50 driving around town in a decades-old car buying groceries isn't very safe, or probably even legal. Hell, she hasn't even seen them wear anything this ridiculous ever. Could this be a distraction? Or is it an opportunity?

Ah, wait, they're both wearing their stupid little marriage bracelets.

It's the middle of October.

This is their anniversary vacation.

Shit.

in the store

Henderson strolled through the aisles with Whitney at her side, hugging Cyprus's jar. She examined the cereal boxes to make sure they didn't contain any food colouring that could potentially kill her.

Whitney, on the other hand, zoomed over to the meat section, licking her lips at the sight of a raw cod. “cyprus…… do you feel that? the need to devour a being???? the uncontrollable desire for energy that it transcends all laws and regulations placed on mankind?????? the growing hunger for power, one that's so strong it controls your every need????

a natural, primal instinct to become such a brutal being that no one, not even you, recognise yourself anymore. you look at yourself in the mirror and you feel like you want to destroy that, to put yourself onto the pedestal you belong on, to wreak havoc on the cosmos of all beings, living and dead, real and mythical, walking and extinct.

you know that you're the only who understands this instinct, the only one who follows it to this distance. everyone else may underestimate you, but in the end, you'll rise above them all. man's natural instinct is to become the ruler of all.”

“What the fuck, Whitney. Anyway, I talked to the deli guy and he said he could pay you to eat up some scraps if you want. You down?” Henderson asked, her trolley already full of snacks. “yea fuck it man” Whitney replied, walking over to the ‘staff only’ door. “im hungy as fuck”

parking lot.

Despite the growing need to kill the woman, Rachel was managing to control herself. Even though this was the perfect opportunity to eliminate one of them, she knows she'll be replaced by someone much crueler. So for now, she'll just stick to watching this lady consider which can of tomato sauce is better than the other.

Rachel parked the truck near the entrance and the Honda Civic. She kept an eye on the couple as she quietly made her way inside through the back door.

“So thàt's when Í saìd, ‘that's not a cactùs, that's a lámp!” Karén playfully said, her hand entwined with her wife's. Rachel was unsure whether to stalk the two or join her friends in shopping.

WELL, FIND THAT OUT IN THE NEXT PART,

B I T C H !! !! !!

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