#okay goodnight everybody. lots to do tomorrow but hopefully we can make a little more progress on that painting

[birdmenmanga]

love it when I check the birdmen tag, fully prepared to be disappointed, but then I find that someone who isn’t me has actually posted something <3

#just thinking thoughts... #you know I was just thinking. #'oh god. almost a week since the last post in the tag. the fandom is dying' #<- as if it wasn't dead already #BUT THERE WAS SOMETHING THERE TODAY!!! #simple joys in life.... #it was even sagisawa. #my little scrunkly. my little guy #ALSO. I'm beginning to suspect that perhaps the trouble isn't with painting in and of itself. #I did FINE with the painting of yoshi #maybe it's the kissing that's the issue. #like I have two different images of karasuma and sagisawa kissing. #and they're BOTH lineless paintings (why???) #and neither of them are working out </3 #oh well... #god god god I'm going to commit acts of violence if the second one doesn't pan out. #BECAUSE THEN I CANT POST MY FIC ON TUMBLR #(as if I can't just break my arbitrary rules regarding posting) #okay goodnight everybody. lots to do tomorrow but hopefully we can make a little more progress on that painting

[luci-in-trenchcoats]

If I Fell For You (Part 8) - Good Days, Bad Days

Summary: The reader has a special birthday surprise for Jensen and starts to get to know Jared more. When Jensen returns home from Toronto for good though, he and the reader have their first big fight and make more moves in their relationship...

Masterlist

Pairing: Jensen x nanny!reader

Word Count: 5,300ish

Warnings: language, angst, fighting, smut

A/N: Enjoy!

________

Thursday Night

“So how do you want me?” asked Jensen, leaning against his closet door in nothing but his boxer briefs. 

“Oh well that’s a dangerous question,” you laughed. “Jeans are fine for where I’m taking you.”

“Alright,” he said. He ducked into the closet and returned wearing only a pair of dark jeans, smirking at you with his hands behind his back.

“Being a little shit?” you asked.

“One of my best qualities,” he said. You hummed and went past him into the closet. “So what should I be wearing on this date out?”

“I’m kinda a sucker for you a henley and flannel. Not to let that go to your head at all,” you said.

“Oh you should never watch Supernatural then,” he chuckled, grabbing a long sleeve white henley off the hanger and pulling it on.

“I did sort of start watching it,” you said. “You look like a little baby that hadn’t hit puberty yet.”

“I got better with age, sweetheart,” he said, flashing you a wink.

“Oh yes you did,” you said. “I like it. It’s kinda scary but not too bad if you watch during the day.”

“It gets less scary pretty fast,” he said, putting on his red and gray flannel. “I all set?”

“You look very pretty,” you said, walking out with him on your tail. “So does the show end happy? Like they live? It’s got this angsty feel to it where I feel like something bad is gonna happen.”

“Do you want me to spoil it?”

“Dean doesn’t like die, right,” you said. He made a face and you frowned. “No. Why? He doesn’t deserve that.”

“Eh, calm yourself woman. Things could happen in the future...he might not have to die...or he might come back and I really shouldn’t be discussing these things.”

“You’d do more?” you asked.

“Oh for sure. On a streaming network where we get to do all the shit we couldn’t on cable. Get some fresh eyes in on the writing or maybe we’d even take a crack at it. It’s not really an if, more of a when so don’t go worrying about Dean. I like my new friends at work and everybody’s great but I miss Jared and my old ones. I’m definitely working with them again.”

“That’s great! Now come on, move that tush. We have reservations.”

“Reservations. Fancy,” he said. He put on a pair of socks and shoved his wallet in his pocket, following you out to the hall when you spun around. 

“Oh yeah,” you smirked. “You may also have a little birthday surprise waiting for your downstairs so eyes shut mister.”

“You’re devious. I like that. I like that a lot. We should explore that later in bed.”

“Tempting. I’ll have to take you up on that,” you said. “Eyes shut.”

You held his hand and he shut his eyes, going down the hall with you. You went slowly down the steps, Jensen’s arm around you the whole time. You grinned and walked him over to the family room before leaving him in place.

“Open,” you said. He blinked open his eyes, quickly landing them on a grinning Jared standing there.

“How the hell are you here?” said Jensen, Jared giving him a big hug he quickly returned. “Shit I missed you man.”

“Me too. But it’s someone’s birthday this week and I don’t have work tomorrow so I caught a flight up this afternoon. Y/N thought I’d make a good present.”

“Fucking awesome present,” he said, still grinning ear to ear. 

“You doing okay?” asked Jared, Jensen nodding. He gave him another hug and you smiled. “So how’s that crush on the nanny working out?”

“Shut up,” said Jensen, smirking as he pulled you into his side. “Jared. I know you guys met already but Y/N is your soon to be best friend just as an fyi.”

“Oh we’ve already started chatting,” you said, Jared chuckling. “He’s really sweet. I had to legit stop him from jumping on a plane that second when I texted him he thought something was wrong.”

“I think between the two of us we can keep an eye on him,” said Jared. “So you mind if I crash your date?”

“Not at all,” you said. “I’m taking both you boys out. My treat.”

“I’ll be back in a minute,” said Jensen two hours later while he excused himself to the bathroom. Jared finished off the last of his beer and smiled as he leaned back in his corner of the booth. 

“You know I’m totally covering this right,” he said.

“Dutch?” you asked.

“I’ll take the alcohol, you take the food.”

“That I can agree to,” you said, glancing over the dessert menu. “I’m really happy you were able to come up to hang out. I know you got your own family and everything and this was last minute.”

“He’s my family too,” he said. “I’d do anything for him. Literally. Don’t ever hesitate to call me, no matter when or where. I’ll be there for him like he’s always been for me.”

“I’m not sure I’ve ever seen a smile on his face like that before.”

“I have. You just didn’t notice that night at the bonfire.” You shrugged and he cocked his head. “How long you two been dating?”

“A month or so,” you said. 

“You like him?”

“He’s alright,” you said, smiling before you took a sip from your glass. 

“Thanks for taking care of him lately.”

“Don’t need to thank me for that,” you said, sliding the dessert menu over to him.

“Yeah but I’m still going to,” he said. “I meant what I said earlier. Between the two of us he’ll be okay again.”

“He’s never gonna be the same. He’ll be happy and it won’t hurt as much. But it’ll come back and hit him time to time.”

“There’s a reason he’s my best friend and it’s not just because we worked together for so long. He’s always been there for me and I’ll be there for him. I feel better about him being up here when he’s got someone else watching his back.”

“You had the hard job, not me,” you said.

“He’s come a long way. Doesn’t mean this is a cakewalk though I’m sure.”

“No, you’re right about that,” you said as you spotted Jensen returning.

“You guys order dessert yet?” he asked, sliding in beside you.

“Why doesn’t the birthday boy pick,” teased Jared, handing the menu over to him. “You guys ought to come home for a weekend when you get a chance.”

“It’s kinda a long way to go with the kids for just a few days,” said Jensen. “But we’ll be home soon. Hopefully.”

“I can get you a gig on Walker anytime you want it dude, just ask.”

“Maybe. I kinda want to get with the guys and maybe work on that Supernatural stuff. I need good stuff to look forward to, you know?”

“I do,” said Jared. “As long as you come home eventually I’ll learn to live with just using your jet skis in the meantime.”

“See what I’ve been dealing with for over a decade?” asked Jensen.

“Oh yes. He’s horrible,” you teased. “We really shouldn’t have him sleepover then, should we?”

“You’re staying at the house?” asked Jensen with a grin.

“Duh. I didn’t just fly a thousand miles to not see you dude. I’m here all weekend. Let’s have some fun.”

“Boys I’m heading to bed,” you said around two in the morning. 

“Yeah we ought to go to bed ourselves,” said Jared.

“I’ll grab you some sheets and stuff,” said Jensen. You waved goodnight to Jared, heading down the hall towards your room when Jensen wrapped an arm around your waist. “I thought you were gonna sleep with me from now on.”

“I am. Want to check something real quick.”

“Hurry back,” he said. He kissed your temple and ducked into his room, leaving you in the hall. You went down to your own and checked your email, smirking when you saw what you were looking for. A rattling of fingers on the door made you glance up, Jensen smiling there. “Texting your other boyfriend?”

“No, I sort of...submitted one of my stories to a publisher. They’ve been talking to me this week and said they’d get back to me today on if they wanted to move forward. They want to do a five book deal. I already have the stories done and mostly drawn anyways. They gave me an offer just now.”

“That’s awesome,” he said. “Seriously. We’re gonna celebrate tomorrow for sure.”

“It’s no big deal,” you said.

“It really is,” he said. He picked you up and grinned, carrying you back to his room. “I’m proud of you.”

“They’re stupid stories,” you said.

“I love those stupid stories,” he said, setting you on the bed. “The kids do too.”

“You’re just saying that cause you’re supposed to say that.” You set your phone on the nightstand and crawled under the covers, Jensen pulling you into his chest when het got underneath.

“My children think their mom is really okay now. They don’t get sad anymore and they ask questions about her again and I don’t want to cry every time I talk about her because your story reminded me that the wolf dad can be happy again for him too. That’s really fucking important to me right now in life.”

“Okay Papa Wolf,” you said. You grinned and he returned it. “Night Jensen.”

“Goodnight sweetheart.”

Two Months Later

“Hey Jared,” you said as you answered your phone. “What’s up?”

“Jensen at work?”

“Yeah. Late night again,” you said. “He’s answering texts between breaks I think.”

“Cool,” he said.

“You need something?” you asked. 

“No, no. I’m good,” he said. “Thanks. I’ll catch you later.”

“You doing okay?” you asked.

“Yeah. Just want to talk to him for a minute,” he said. He was a little quiet and you sat down on the couch. 

“You want to talk to me?” you asked.

“That’s okay.”

“Jared...Jensen and I are starting to get serious which means we’re gonna be together a lot considering how you two can’t go more than a day without talking. We can be good friends too,” you said. He was quiet and you hoped you hadn’t sounded too corny.

“I uh, I have bad days sometimes. Really normal days can be bad days in my head. It’s kinda how I was built I guess,” he said. 

“Nothing wrong with that,” you said. “Today a bad day?”

“Kinda. Nothing happened. I had a normal day at work and home. I’m just off. He um...Jensen makes me feel better as lame as that sounds. Just talking for a few minutes helps my head get on track that somebody really does care.”

“He’s very good like that,” you said. “I know you mean the world to him. You’re his brother. It’s not lame that he makes you feel better. You make him feel better too. I owe you a lot for taking care of him after the accident.”

“I much prefer when I’m the one freaking out and he takes care of me,” chuckled Jared. “You guys coming home soon?”

“He’s got a few weeks left of filming but I might head down a little earlier, try to get the house sorted out down there with the kids and stuff,” you said. “He’s literally counting down the days.”

“He really likes working on the show though I thought.”

“Oh he does but he’s got a big circle on the calendar for the fifthteenth called Jared day. I think your boy is planning something fun.”

“I’m looking forward to it,” he said. “You mind if I ask a personal question?”

“Shoot, buddy,” you said, stretching in your seat.

“Do you love him?” he asked. 

“Going full throttle out of the gate I see,” you said.

“I know. I know how he talks about you though. There’s no...casual relationship with him.”

“Well I haven’t said it to him yet and he hasn’t said it to me so...maybe another time I’ll be able to answer that question.”

“It’s been almost four months. You get to spend more time together than most couples starting out. I’d think you know by now,” he said.

“I do. But he deserves to hear it before anyone else,” you said. 

“So you love him.”

“Most things I love have a habit of going away,” you said. 

“He won’t,” he said. “You do more than make him happy, Y/N. A lot more.”

“I just wish he didn’t hurt.”

“He hurts a lot less lately. Some of that’s time and some of it’s you. Enjoy being one of his best friends. He doesn’t let that many people in that close.”

“I know. We were supposed to be talking about you I thought.”

“Eh, sometimes I just need the talk. Thanks. I got somebody else I can call now too.”

“It’s never a problem,” you said.

“It’s getting late there. I’ll let you go. Thanks for talking, really. I feel better.”

“Anytime Jared.”

“You too, Y/N.”

Three Weeks Later

“Doug you’re a lifesaver,” you said as finished washing Jensen’s truck in the driveway back home in Austin. He smiled as he wiped off his hands and gave Arrow a wave goodbye. 

“I owed you for that 3am incident,” he said. “You got easy kids. Mine are vultures.”

“Yes, yes they are,” you laughed. He gave you a kiss on the check and smiled as he headed back for his car, another one coming down the open driveway. “Later Doug.”

“Later,” he said. Jensen exited the back of the car along with his backpack and a suitcase, the car pulling out, Doug following after.

“Hey. How was the flight?” you asked.

“Who was that?” he asked, dropping his bags on the pavement.

“Oh that’s just Doug. He’s a nanny. I needed an extra set of hands today watching the kids trying to finish up these chores before you got home and it was perfect timing,” you said. You smirked and walked over to kiss him, Jensen taking a step back. “Something wrong?”

“You kissed him.”

“No. I didn’t. He kissed my cheek,” you said. Jensen narrowed his eyes and you scoffed, wiping the sweat off your forehead. “Seriously? He’s my friend.”

“That kisses you.”

“He’s affectionate,” you said. “Also he’s kinda married so you can tone it down with the judgemental looks.”

“Oh. I’m sorry. You’re right. You should be able to kiss whoever you want despite being in a relationship,” he said. He grabbed his bags and brushed past you inside. You grumbled and went after him, finding him upstairs in his room. “What?”

“What stick is up your ass today? I haven’t seen you in almost three weeks. None of us have and you’re in a bad mood.”

“I was perfectly happy until I saw you kissing somebody else.”

“I wasn’t kissing him!”

“It didn’t look like that from my perspective.”

“Jensen.”

“Is this just a little game to you? You get bored of the older guy with kids finally?” he asked, crossing his arms. “Or maybe you just got caught finally.”

“I don’t cheat,” you said, getting in his face. “He kissed my cheek. I’ll call him to come back and explain this situation right now but I apparently you just think I’m a cheater.”

“Well maybe you are. Geez, we’ve been together over four months and no real sex yet? Cause that’s not sending red flags.”

“Because you weren’t fucking ready!” you shouted. “I’m not your wife and I’m never gonna be her. Don’t be mad at me for it.”

“No that’s for sure,” he said.

“The kids are in the front yard. Don’t expect me back today,” you said. You stormed downstairs and into your room, shoving some things in a bag before taking your purse and getting behind the wheel of your car. 

You were seeing red by the time you were out of the suburbs. You slammed your hand against the wheel and shouted.

“You fucking asshole,” you said. You sniffled and drove for a bit before finally pulling off. You drove down a long road, rolling your eyes when of course you passed by his brewery. You’d never been but he’d told you about it more than once. You kept going down the road, eventually finding a park to pull into. You shut off the car and shut your eyes, a knock on the window making you jump. You put down your window when you saw a cop there and did your best to wipe off your face.

“You’re double parked,” he said. 

“What?”

“You’re parked on the line,” he said. 

“Sorry,” you said. 

“Bad day?” he asked.

“Something like that,” you said. You could feel snot threatening to drip down your nose, the officer reaching into a pocket and handing you a tissue. “Thanks.”

“Best not to drive when you’re upset,” he said.

“Yeah. I’m just gonna sit here for a little while,” you said with a nod.

“Probably not a great idea to sit in a car next a playground,” he said. “The mom’s are kinda intense around here.”

“Of course they are,” you said, squeezing your eyes shut.

“Why don’t you move your car and you can join me on my patrol,” he said. “It’s only a short walk. Fresh air might do you good.”

“Last time I talked to another man my boyfriend sorta freaked out on me so maybe not a good idea,” you said. You blew your nose and realized what you’d said, the officer staring down. “I didn’t mean it like that.”

“Why don’t we take that walk so I can find out what you did mean.”

Two minutes later you were walking next to the cop. He had a baseball cap on and was in all black. You weren’t sure how he wasn’t boiling considering it was May in Austin.

“This boyfriend got a name?”

“You gonna run his name or something?” you asked.

“Do I need to?” he asked. You shook your head and he smiled. “He the jealous type? He get angry over you talking to other men?”

“It’s complicated.”

“If it doesn’t get uncomplicated I might have to pay this boyfriend a visit you understand.”

“His wife died last June.”

“Okay. I understand part of the complicated thing now.”

“Why’s he gotta be a dick? Called me a cheater,” you said. You crossed your arms and the cop chuckled. “Sorry.”

“As long as you don’t call me a dick we don’t got a problem. Did you cheat on him?”

“No. He...he works away and he just got home today and my guy friend was over helping me with watching my boyfriends kids while I did some chores and my guy friend is like, a really affectionate guy and he kissed my cheek as my boyfriend was coming in and my boyfriend thinks I was kissing him back and been cheating on him for the past three weeks.”

“Why don’t you just call the guy friend over to explain?”

“He got so pissed so fast and accused me of cheating. I’ve been dating him for nearly five months and he brings up the fact we haven’t had sex yet like that even matters when I’ve been holding back for him and he just blows up on me for fucking nothing,” you said.

“You’re both stubborn people, aren’t ya,” he said.

“Maybe,” you grumbled.

“Maybe this guy is scared and looking for a way out of the relationship. Or maybe he thinks you want out. You mentioned kids. That’s not easy.”

“He’s also...older. There’s an age gap. I was the nanny and now I’m the girlfriend nanny. He’s also kinda...famous,” you said.

“So there’s a lot of stress in this relationship then.”

“No,” you said, dropping your arms to your sides. “It’s not like that.”

“Maybe the dumb bastard just got scared of losing someone again,” he said. “Just a theory.”

“I wish he wasn’t scared,” you said. “I don’t know how to make him not afraid.”

“You ever think maybe he said that because you’re getting in there pretty good now and he’s getting real scared that losing you might hurt just as bad as this wife did.”

“He’s an idiot. But he’s my idiot,” you said. 

“Talk to him. Get an apology and try to forgive him.”

“I already forgive him. I know him. He was scared and I got mad instead of realizing after so many weeks apart all he needed was a freaking hug.”

“Then go home and give him a hug,” he said.

“Thanks,” you said with a nod. “I must have looked like a hot mess or something.”

“Oh for sure,” he chuckled. You smiled and he laughed. “That looks better.”

“Jensen probably left like five messages on my phone by now,” you said. The cop you were with paused and smiled. “What?”

“A kinda famous Jensen. There’s really only one of those in town,” he said.

“Oh. Yeah. Please don’t share that he’s dating. He really wants to keep things private for a lot of reasons right now,” you said.

“He’s my buddy.”

“Your buddy?”

“We went to school together,” he said. “In tenth grade he went for a slide on second base, ripped his pants right down the middle. His hanes bright blue covered ass still managed to get around to home base.”

“He split his pants in a baseball game?” you smiled.

“I know quite a few of his dirty secrets,” he said. “I don’t really know that whole acting thing but him I know and that must make you Y/N. You ever in trouble kid, ever just got a bad feeling and want a cop to come by, give me a call.”

“Thanks,” you said as you took his card. “You really think he’s a dumb bastard?”

“Oh knowing it’s him, 100%. Give him a break. We like him when he smiles,” he said.

“I’m gonna give him a call,” you said. “We should hang out sometime now that Jensen has a break.”

“Definitely. I gotta finish my patrol,” he said. “Take care Y/N.”

“Bye,” you said as you headed back towards your car. You pulled out your phone and saw seven missed calls and twelve unread texts. You tapped the screen and put the phone up to your ear, only ringing for a second.

“I’m sorry,” said Jensen.

“Me too.”

“I’m the one that...shit I’m so sorry, Y/N. I don’t know what happened.”

“You missed me and you were scared and seeing Doug probably hurt like a bitch,” you said.

“I’m so sorry. I don’t want to be the stupid jealous boyfriend.”

“I’m not too far from your brewery if you want to meet there. Get a beer. Blow this over,” you said.

“I’m sorry.”

“I forgive you. Stop apologizing. I want to give you a hug,” you said. 

“I’ll meet you there in thirty minutes?” he asked.

“I’ll see you soon honey.”

“Hi,” said Jensen as you sat at a quiet table in the back, sipping on a beer and eating a piece of pizza. You smiled and stood up, giving him a hug. He tucked his head down and sighed. “I’m sorry.”

“Hey we survived our first big fight as a couple,” you said. “That deserves beer and pizza.”

He sat down next to you, forcing a smile on his face. You reached over and cupped his cheek, Jensen turning into it. 

“Please forgive yourself,” you said.

“I don’t really want to,” he said.

“You called me a cheater. I get what I want today and that’s for you to forgive yourself.”

“I don’t know why I said that.”

“Jensen,” you said, stroking his cheek. “I love you.”

He stared at you, a different look in his eyes, the tiniest sliver of a smile peeking through. You inched closer and slid your hand around to the back of his neck, pulling him into a kiss. He felt softer than usual, lips barely moving against yours. 

“I love you,” he said. He wrapped his arms around you and grinned. “I have loved you for a very long time.” You kissed him again, Jensen returning it. 

He left his arm around your back, smirking when you did the same to him.

“Can we forget about earlier?” you asked. He nodded and rested his head on your shoulder.

“One last I’m sorry though,” he said.

“Just don’t call me that again and we’re all good, Jens,” you said. “Now eat some of this pizza so I don’t feel like a glutton.”

“I don’t have to slip into a superhero costume any more so dad bod here I come,” he chuckled.

“Does that mean Solider Boy meets some untimely end?”

“No spoilers,” he said. “But I don’t think I’ll be going back to that show. At least as often. I know I want to direct an episode of walker in the fall. I talked to Jared about it actually so that’ll be fun. I might do a duck and run guest appearance on it. I’ll line up something for next year but I want to be home for awhile, do work around here.” 

“I know quite a few people who would be more than okay with that,” you said. 

“Don’t make any plans for Saturday,” he smirked.

“I thought you were having your Jared day tomorrow.”

“Oh we are. Gen invited you and the kids over. She’d like to get to know you. You’ll love her,” he said.

“So what’s Saturday then?” you asked.

“I’d like to take you and the kids out on the boat. We haven’t been since before the accident. Maybe we can go out for dinner and put up the tent in the backyard, have a sleepover out there with the kids.”

“That sounds fun.”

“And...I’d like to maybe next week take you out for the day, just us, maybe...spend the night somewhere,” he said.

“Like a hotel?” you asked.

“Yeah. Or the kids can have a sleepover at Jared’s. Maybe.” He glanced down and you moved your arm from his back, reaching behind yourself to hold his hand. Green eyes flickered over to yours and you smiled. “I’m-”

“You know if you keep apologizing about earlier I’m not going to have sex with you,” you said. “That’s just facts.”

“Okay,” he chuckled. “No more apologies. Aside from...I really am sorry about what I said. I’m the one that’s been holding back and not once have you asked for more.”

“We said we’d take it slow and that’s okay,” you said. He squeezed your hand and nodded. “I don’t like you because you’re attractive or your hair is great or your arms are massive. Having fun with you is fun but that’s not why I’m here.”

“I don’t know if I can give you things you want,” he said.

“Just give me you and that’s good with me,” you said.

“Okay,” he said quietly. You scooted closer to him, Jensen tucking a stray hair behind your ear. “Let’s do it now.”

“Uh, what?” you said, taking a sip from your beer.

“The kids aren’t home and I don’t want to wait and-”

“You don’t have to ask me twice,” you said, knocking back your beer and flipping the cardboard down over your pizza. He stared and you burped, picking up the box. “There’s like six slices left and this is too good to waste, even for sex.”

“You have literally never been more attractive than in this moment,” he said. 

“I could be.”

“I’ll see you at the house in twenty?”

“Yes you will Ackles.”

Forty minutes later you hand was slapping against his headboard, legs squeezed so tight around his waist you were shocked he wasn’t complaining. You moaned loudly as he teased your clit and he delivered one more hard thrust. He grunted as you gripped his shoulder with your other hand.

“Jensen,” you breathed out. “I’m right there. Please, please, please…”

You arched your back when he thrust hard, fingers rubbing just a bit rougher and you came all around him, every muscle tensed and riding out that high, long, deep, absolutely perfect orgasm. Jensen thrust a few more times before he groaned and rested his head on your shoulder, big panting breaths fanning over your skin. 

He was sweaty but pulled out slowly, plopping down on the bed beside you, hand resting on his chest.

“I don’t know about you but that was good,” he said. “Damn good.”

You giggled between breaths, nodding your head slightly. You tilted it over towards his, Jensen already staring at you with soft hooded green eyes. 

“Definitely damn good,” you breathed. His lips tugged up into a smile, warm and gentle, his head inching closer to you. You sat up and leaned down to kiss him, Jensen breaking off when he needed air. You trailed a finger down his chest before climbing out of bed and excusing yourself to the bathroom. After you cleaned up you found Jensen chucking the condom in the trash and wiping himself off quickly. 

“Come here you,” he said. He picked you up bridal style and carried you back to the bed, laying you down carefully. “I’m big on after sex cuddling just so you know.”

“I find that to be a very attractive quality,” you said as he lay down. He reached down to the end of the bed and grabbed the bunched up blanket, pulling it over the two of you. His arm slid under your head and he pulled you into his side, encouraging you to use him as a pillow. “You’re warm.”

“So are you,” he said. He kissed your temple and let out a deep breath. “Thank you.”

“For what?”

“I never thought I’d be able to do that ever again. Let alone not feel bad about doing it,” he said.

“You okay?”

“I’m great,” he said. “Really. I know Dee would have been telling me to not worry so I didn’t. I don’t...I feel like I can talk about her again, you know?”

“You used to call her your wife a lot. Recently you’ve been saying her name more. I think you really are healing, Jensen.”

“I knew the second you left earlier I messed up. I dropped the kids off at Jared’s and then I wound up at the cemetery. I saw these purple flowers there. It’s kinda a different flower but they were her favorite. I’ve only ever told one other person those were her favorites,” he said. You traced your finger over his pec and rested your palm flat on his chest. “Why’d you put flowers there?”

“Why wouldn’t I Jensen?”

“That’s how I knew I can stop being so scared when it comes to you. Purple fucking flowers. You’re just…”

“I love you too,” you said, giving his whole body a squeeze. He returned it, holding you for a long time, neither one of you saying a word. It wasn’t until you noticed the light starting to change in the room that you both moved. 

“Y/N,” said Jensen when you sat upright. You looked over your shoulder, a smile on his face. “Do you want to stay upstairs with me from now on instead of your room? It’s okay if-”

“I’d love to,” you said. “To be honest, I slept up here the other night.”

“You did?” he asked as you nodded.

“I missed you.”

“Me too,” he said.

“I know three little faces that really missed you too,” you said. He smiled and nodded. “Let’s go get the rascals.”

______

A/N: Read Part 9 here!

#supernatural #spn #jensen ackles au #Jensen x reader #Jensen Ackles #rpf #Jensen series #rpf series #jensen ackles x reader #spn fanfic #Jensen Ackles fanfic #supernatural fanfic

[moonbeambucky]

Hey Neighbor (Part 12)

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader, Billy Russo x Reader Word Count: 2731 Warnings: fluff, light angst

Summary: You had a plan and then life came along with one of its own. With your future almost derailed you worked hard to get yourself back on track and finally everything seemed to be going right… that is, until your new neighbor moved in.

A/N: I know some of you may not have been happy about what happened in the last chapter and I expect that not to change here 🙈🙈

PART 11 | HEY NEIGHBOR MASTERLIST

It feels a little intimidating to be walking into an unfamiliar place. You and Billy decided to meet at a restaurant somewhat in between your apartments, although the commute straight from the hospital made the distance a little bit farther.

Even worse you were running late thanks to a last minute case that needed your attention. Billy understood and you hoped he believed you when you said you were still on your way. You were nervous and excited at the same time, not having been on a date in… well, you really don’t want to think about exactly how long.

It’s pretty crowded, not that you expected anything less for a Friday evening. You scan through all the faces that seemed to blend together in the dim lighting against the wall as you look for Billy. The long bar near the entryway is much brighter, with lighted holiday garland still up surrounding the shelves of liquor.

At the end of the bar you spot him and Billy’s dark eyes illuminate the moment he sees you. He stands up to greet you as you approach, and you both do an awkward dance of wondering if you should hug each other or not. You went for it anyway, your heart beating a little faster as his arm wrapped around your back, squeezing you just a little.

“I’m glad you made it,” he whispered against the shell of your ear. The slight rasp in his soft voice made a tingle run down your spine in the best way.

Texting him had been a lot easier, when you only recalled his good looks by memory, without the pressure of staring back at his handsome face. Billy gently placed his hand against your back as he guided you towards the host. You were seated in the back, hopefully far enough away from the crowds huddled around the TV near the bar showing tonight’s basketball game.

Sitting across from Billy you couldn’t help but feel awkward under his focused gaze. Your cheeks began to heat up and you’ve never been more thankful for a server to appear. You ordered a drink, hoping it would arrive soon enough to help you over the hurdle of your awkwardness and shed the first date jitters.

A thunderous cheer from the bar startled you, making you cringe internally for nearly jumping in your seat but the sound of Billy’s sweet laughter eased your worries. Your minor embarrassment allowed for the conversation to flow freely, and over much better food than you expected this bar to have, you and Billy got to know each other better.

His company ANVIL provided private security and tactical training seminars. What stuck with you most was how all of his employees were veterans.

“It changes you.” He spoke about war, each word a poignant reminder that he too has battle scars, both visible and not. “A lot of us felt lost comin’ home. We can’t pretend we fit back into a world when the puzzle’s changed on us. This is my way of helpin’ my brothers find their place again.”

Sighing softly, it felt like your heart doubled in size as you listened to him, believing in all the good he was doing for those that needed purpose again. Your hand reached out across the table towards Billy’s, gently rubbing your thumb along his skin as your palm covered his knuckles. It made you second guess if his smooth skin is about grooming or if he’s erasing every hardened memory of his past, softening his skin to soothe the trauma of his mind.

You felt a connection with Billy because of this, finding commonality in your work. Even though ANVIL is in security, it still provides a therapeutic environment to its employees. You opened up to share your own background and why social work is so important to you.

“I have seven months to go until I graduate and I honestly can’t wait. It’s been such a long journey to get to this point but everything will be worth it. To be the person that can make a difference in someone’s life, to stand up for them, help and protect them; it really means so much to me.”

Billy is quiet for a moment, meditating on his thoughts. His mouth opens but he chooses not to speak, offering a gentle smile instead. There’s a silent understanding that he isn’t ready to continue talking. It’s a heavy subject and certainly not the best first date material, but somehow everything felt right.

He paid for everything despite your offering to split the bill, lacing his fingers with yours as he walked with you a few blocks to the subway station. Even though it was Friday, you were exhausted and really needed to go home and crash.

Under the glow of a street lamp you kissed Billy goodnight, feeling a rush of excitement warming your body as you craved more of the softness of his lips. His hand came against your cheek as he parted your lips with his tongue.

Your knees buckled under the caress of his tongue against yours and Billy felt the way your body wanted to melt against his. His hands wrapped around your waist as he continued to steal the breath from your lungs.

It may be cold outside but right now all you can feel is the heat simmering in your bones. The longer Billy kisses you the more you want to let him, your core aching with desire, begging you to take him home.

A soft bubble erupts in the back of your throat and you pull away breathless. Pressing your kiss swollen lips together you smile at Billy, seeing his pink dusted cheeks that could have been from the cold but the lustful gleam in his eyes say otherwise.

It’s very tempting to give in to what you want but common sense gets the win for the night. You part, promising to speak again tomorrow and honestly, you couldn’t wait.

“Earth to Y/N! Hello!” Wanda waved her hand in front of your face that had been glued to your phone all night, accompanied by the smile that would not fade.

“S-sorry, sorry. You were saying?”

Wanda huffed, rolling her eyes as she continued her conversation, asking everybody their opinions on her plans for Valentine’s Day with Sam.

“I think it’s a lovely idea,” Peggy replied, snuggling a little closer to Steve as she thought of the plans they’ll be sharing.

Natasha was quiet, taking a sip from her drink as she observed you curiously. You were trying desperately to not touch your phone, though your eyes couldn’t help but dart towards the screen that lit up every few minutes.

It was odd considering Bucky was seated beside you, his phone nowhere in sight as he propped his elbows against the table, hand curled lazily around his beer. She had caught a glimpse of your shared kiss on New Year’s Eve, pointing Clint in your direction as well so they could share in the satisfaction of being right.

From the moment you no longer wanted to kill Bucky they had been taking bets on how long it would take for you to hook up. Clint had bet by Halloween but Natasha knew it would take longer. Although now she’s unsure if she truly won the bet. You and Bucky kissed of course but nothing else suggests you had gone further; and by the ever growing smile on your face as you ignore everyone including Bucky, she has a strong suspicion of what may have derailed her chance of winning.

“Y/N, for Valentine’s Day do you have plans with your mystery texter?” Natasha asked, silencing the entire table.

A grin spread across her face as your eyes began to widen. You were caught. Not that you had done anything at all to hide it.

Wanda’s mouth fell open. “Could it be?!”

“Details, now!” Steve practically commanded. Feeling like the honorary older brother in your life he absolutely needed to know who was causing you to act as giddy as you were.

“Okay, okay!” you laughed, holding your palms up as if you were caught red handed. Trying to control your smile, you took a deep breath before telling everyone about how you met Billy. “We’ve gone out a few times and he’s really sweet. I can’t wait for you guys to meet him!”

While almost everyone said they couldn’t wait Natasha noticed the way Bucky turned a little paler, grumbling the words under his breath before he washed them away with a hefty swig. She cocked her eyebrow at Clint, sharing an unspoken look they would definitely be discussing when they were alone.

Your stomach was churning and not because of the bloody glimpse you passed in the ER during your hours at the hospital. Tonight the entire group was getting together and they were going to meet Billy.

The thought had you shaking though you’re not sure why you’re so nervous. Billy has been a total sweetheart and you’re certain your friends will like him. It had been a few weeks since you first met and you had kept your dates mostly secret, not wanting to tell anyone until you were sure this was something worth speaking about.

Most of the dates have been low-key, meeting up at The Grind House or grabbing a quick bite to eat after work. Both of your schedules were pretty busy and you didn’t envy the fact that Billy ran an entire company. Only once did he have to cancel at the last minute; things came up and you completely understood. What you did not expect was a beautiful bouquet of flowers delivered to you at the hospital as an apology.

As you were getting ready you got a text from Billy saying he would meet you at the bowling lounge you were all going to since he was still working and it would be faster to head there directly. This only added to your nerves, having to wait just a little longer before Billy met everyone as opposed to breaking the ice with Bucky, Natasha and Clint on the way there as you imagined.

The moment you were hoping he could bowl well was when you decided you needed to stop overthinking everything and relax. Your friends will like Billy regardless of little things; as long as he treated you well, and he did, was all that mattered.

The subway was crowded, with bodies cramped even closer together to avoid the spilled drink right in front of the door. You were pressed against Bucky’s chest which you didn’t mind at all considering it could have been worse given the other passengers surrounding you. He was on alert as a man got on the next stop, with foam nearly frozen down his mouth and chin, mumbling loudly as he paced back and forth through the spill.

Bucky shifted his position so you were mostly behind him, although he was still turned to the side to keep his eye out just in case. You appreciated the gesture, smiling softly in silent thanks, taking note of the bags under his eyes. He hadn’t mentioned the latest project he was working on but you assumed it’s something that’s kept him up.

The brisk air moves right through you as you ascend the steps to the street, walking quickly past the large scattering of tourists that lazily stop along 42nd Street to take pictures despite the freezing cold. Thankfully you only had a few blocks to walk.

Steve and Peggy were waiting inside the lobby, informing you Wanda and Sam should be there shortly. You saw the text she had sent to everyone, skimming over it to text Billy and let him know you arrived. The nerves came back in full force as you saw the three dots appear as he was typing.

What if he couldn’t make it? What if he had to stay late at work? What if he just didn’t want to see you? What if this was some elaborate joke and you were tricked into believing somebody could actually like you?

Worrisome thoughts ran through your mind until Billy’s response came through. There was some relief knowing he was two blocks away, but the nerves still stayed, hoping your friends would like him and do their best not to embarrass you.

“On your left,” a voice called out, and Steve turned around to see Sam, smiling beside a bundled up Wanda as they greeted each other. Apparently this was some inside joke no one else but them understood.

“When did it get so cold?” Wanda asked rhetorically, blowing out puffs of cold air as she loosened the scarf from around her neck. She greeted everyone, realizing all but one person was there. Just as she was going to ask about Billy he stepped through the door.

A wide smile spread across his face as he spotted you. His lean legs carried him towards you in long strides, cold lips and even colder skin pressing against your own as he greeted you with an affectionate kiss in front of your friends. Their middle school teasing of “oohs” broke the kiss, though your hand stayed cupped against his face, bringing warmth to his rose colored cheeks.

Bucky rolled his eyes at the display, a stranger in his mind, claiming his possession over you without a word spoken. Who does Billy think he is anyway? It’s practically below zero and he isn’t even wearing a hat. Pretty boy doesn’t want to ruin his hair, clearly. Bucky realized he was wearing his inner thoughts of disgust on his face, and quickly shook it off; yet the feeling of dislike for Billy hadn’t gone away as quickly.

Billy introduced himself to everyone as you stood beside him, unable to stop staring at how gorgeous he looked in a simple sweater and dark jeans. These were his colors, dark tones that matched his cavernous eyes, contrasting against the light skin of his perfect face.

From the corner of his eye Bucky couldn’t help but notice the way Billy’s hands were all over you, rubbing your back as you all waited for the employee to assign your lane, to the slip of his hand in the back pocket of your jeans.

His jaw clenched, anger rising in him for reasons he couldn’t quite understand but the moment he saw your face he let go of his tension with ease. You looked so happy, from the twinkle in your eyes to the smile you couldn’t contain. If you were happy Bucky was happy for you, even if he didn’t like it.

Two teams were chosen as you settled in to play, with Sam and Steve being the captains of each. Sam of course picked Wanda, along with Natasha and Clint while Steve chose Peggy first, with you, Billy and Bucky rounding out the rest of his team.

“I did it!” You jumped in surprise as you got a strike, by sheer luck since your first few turns made you wish the bumpers were inflated.

“That’s my girl,” Billy said smiling, cocking his head as he waited for you to come back to the bench.

Bucky was up next. Grabbing the swirly blue ball, he released it with a vigorous throw, not bothering at all to really aim. He took a few pins down, and waited for the ball to come back by the machine. Somehow throwing a heavy object at other objects made everything feel a little better but the sight of you making out with Billy crushed any attempts at his spirit feeling renewed.

During the games drinks and food were ordered and you were happy because it seemed like everyone was getting along with Billy. After two games Sam’s team ended up with the higher scores, and he absolutely rubbed it in Steve’s face.

“My shift is early tomorrow so I’m gonna head out,” Sam said, getting up from the table.

It wasn’t terribly late but considering how cold it was no one else really wanted to stay out to do anything. Bucky shrugged on his coat, watching Billy lean in to whisper something in your ear that made your lips pull into a smirk. As you said goodnight to everyone Bucky realized you wouldn’t be joining him, Natasha and Clint home.

PART 13

#bucky x reader #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes fanfiction #bucky barnes au #billy russo x reader

[erensnubs]

𝑩𝒆𝒂𝒖𝒕𝒚 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝑩𝒆𝒂𝒔𝒕

Oikawa x F! Reader SMAU

Chapter 4

Word Count: 2.7k

Random posts:

Iwaizumi was yelling at Oikawa yet again. Over the phone. For what? Everything apparently.

"You act like you're all put together with your little fangirls and the team, but stop hiding it! You're going to sleep at 3 in the morning and then you have practice late into the night!" Iwaizumi exclaims into the phone.

"At least I'm doing stuff Iwa. I'm doing a lot of things for MYSELF and THE TEAM," he countered.

"Yeah but you're absolute shit at it. How the fuck are you going to be ready for our practice match against Karasuno huh? Against your prodigy?"

"I'm gonna figure it out, Iwa I always do," he says nonchalantly, anger bubbling down. Oikawa didn't have time to argue.

"Barely. You barely do," Iwaizumi whispers harshly.

"Oh and don't you have time to spend with your girlfriend anymore?"

Oikawa groans,"She's not my girlfriend-”

“But she is. Do you know why?” Iwaizumi scolds him.

Oikawa rolls his eyes.

“Because you do EVERYTHING that a couple does alright! You are practically together! She thinks that and you obviously did a week ago! If that’s changed then you should tell her,” he says firmly.

Oikawa scoffs, “I’m not going to tell her because nothing has changed, like what you’ve been saying.”

He hears Iwaizumi audibly groan on the other end, “But it has! A lot of things have changed, Shittykawa. Not just in your relationship with her. Your relationship with everybody, I mean look at you! You’re zeroing in on volleyball so much, as expected of you but then yesterday you go on a fucking date with [Name]?!”

“It wasn’t a date! I wanted to make up to her about how shitty I was when I met her,” Oikawa counters.

“By taking her on a date,” Iwaizumi finishes.

Oikawa could hear the smirk across the phone.

Not wanting Iwaizumi to get the last word in Oikawa resorts to guilt tripping.

“What if it was a date, do you have a problem with [Name]?”

Oikawa stands up and paces around the room waiting for an answer.

The line crackles, “No it’s not that you dumbass. I have nothing against [Name]. I just don’t trust her because I don’t know her. It’s you who’s willingly spending time with another girl when you should be spending time with your girlfriend, fling thing.”

“Stop antagonizing me and get yourself together,” Iwaizumi says softly.

Oikawa sighs and slumps down on his bed, “I’ll make it up to her tomorrow okay? Then maybe we can talk about our relationship so we can clear things up.”

“Good. Glad you’re finally taking initiative. Night,” Iwaizumi says.

“Goodnight~” Oikawa replies and hangs up the phone.

Oikawa groans. Iwaizumi just had to remind him about his girlfriend… he didn’t even know her name that well. She was just a fangirl who went on a couple of dates with him. She didn’t mean shit to him, except she was nice and a good distraction.

And Iwaizumi was right. He should have taken responsibility to either end their little situationship or continue it. He would never admit that to him though.

Oikawa quickly sent a text to the girl.

He sighed with pure relief. Thank god she wasn’t angry at him. He’ll take her out for a couple more dates and hopefully talk to her later that it wasn’t that serious and she hopes that she’s okay with that. Hopefully he can finally remember her name. He knew it started with an M or an N but he didn’t really remember.

Hopefully.

He lays in his bed contently, ticking off things on his mental tasklist.

Girlfriend thing

Check

Volleyball thing

Check

Iwaizumi thing

Check

School work

Check

Study thing with [Name]

Check?

Oikawa sat up and searched through his school stuff for the yearly assignment with [Name].

Oikawa sort of knew the gist of what they needed to do. After all, his sister got great grades on this assignment when she was in highschool. So it wasn’t that big of a deal. The issue is… Oikawa needed to set up study times with [Name], even when Iwaizumi practically scolded him for doing just that.

Oikawa scoffed inwardly. Perfect, he had to set up a date with the girl and a study date for you.

Scratch that not a study date. A study session.

Oikawa searched for your contact name in his phone but realized he didn't have yours.

He scrolled through his recommendations on his social media and through friends to find you.

And sure enough, he found your twitter. Oikawa admits, yes curiosity killed the cat.

He wanted to find out more about you, whether it be just for the project or genuine interest he'll never tell. Even Oikawa doesn't know that himself.

He's so used to reading people, just like a book. Some are easier to read than others of course but you… you were different. It wasn't your fault really, it was entirely his. Maybe if Oikawa got the chance to know you instead of lashing out he might have understood you better, knew you better. He wouldn't have to deal with someone he knows so little about.

Maybe that's why he goes on your twitter only to find you were out with a Kiyoko Shimizu, and that you both were best friends. Maybe that's why Oikawa looks through your twitter and sees how interesting you are a person and how you have a mixed sort of family with yet again, other friends than here.

Maybe that's why he practically stalks your instagram page, liking the posts of tarot cards and milk tea. And maybe that's why Oikawa dms you.

Not for the study date session.

Just to get to know you genuinely.

He quickly types out a message, sends it and probably just for the thrill he sends you multiple.

You were Oikawa's latest case to crack, another mystery he just had to solve and luckily for him, he had a whole year to figure out and a year to spend with you.

The both of you texted back and forth for a while. Oikawa looks back onto the texts and realizes how disinterested and how needy he sounded. Mentally slapping himself, Oikawa remembers not to mention the conversation because Oikawa Toru doesn't sound needy for others.

He settles back into bed, pulling the covers to finally get sleep. He slowly settles into sleep, a contented smile for the day to come.

For his date session. Session. Date.

Oikawa was, to say the least, feeling absolutely giddy. Thrilled with excitement possibly?

Yes.

He finally could escape the confines of his bedroom, away from Iwaizumi’s scolding and spend time with someone that isn’t very important but hey. At least he could have fun psychologically analyzing you. But after an hour or 2 of that, he had to take his girlfriend on a date, maybe break up with her and then go back home, study more, practice volleyball and sleep.

Rinse and repeat.

Oikawa quickly puts on his clothes, fluffs up his hair with his numerous products. His sister scolds him a lot for using her hair care items just to make his hair fluffy. Oikawa always, always, argues back that his hair is incredibly important and that she should be grateful that he takes care of his hygiene unlike other boys. That was when she used to live with them before marrying though, so arguments ceased to happen between the two Oikawa siblings.

He wished that it happened though. Oikawa misses his sister, even when she’s older and married and has a kid.

“Oikawa? Where are you going?” His mother asks as Oikawa leaps out of the hallway, into the living room where she was.

Oikawa grabs his shoes and settles into them, “Going out.”

Oikawa’s mother pulls his ear.

“MA! Stop doing that!”

She rolls her eyes, the origin of Oikawa’s and harshly says, “Where? You don’t get to just leave as you please. You’re not your sister!”

Oikawa whines pulling away from her grasp, “That’s different ma! She’s married. I am not. She also has a kid!”

He opens the door and sticks his foot out, “Just like you have a kid.”

Oikawa attempts to give her his cheeky smile but she squints her eyes at him. He starts to walk away but then sees his mother's brown hair whip angrily.

“Where. Are. You. Goi-”

“A study session! Then I’m going to see a friend!” Oikawa sighs.

His mother flicked his forehead, “Don’t yell at me.”

Oikawa nods, wincing from the pain.

“Be safe. Tell me where you are and when you’re coming back okay?”

She gives him a half-warmed smile, but the wrinkles of her smile don’t reach her eyes.

Oikawa nods again, “I will ma. Love you.”

“Love you too Toru. Be safe and be careful.”

Oikawa goes out of the house, slowly closes the door and takes in the consideration of his mother’s words.

He knows that he has to be careful.

But what for?

“[Name]~ It’s your favorite volleyball player~,” Oikawa coos as he approaches you at the coffee shop, earning surprised glances and stares.

You look up drowsily and flip him off.

“My brain isn’t functioning correctly so don’t act all cutesy. I’m only meeting up with you because I want to start this out,” you say.

Oikawa gasps. God he’s so dramatic and so fake. How does everyone buy into it? Couldn’t they see how artificial his mannerisms are? The way he talks?

“Now, you’re being mean, madam manager, “ he says, settling across from you and carefully placing his supplies on the desk.

“I’m not. I’m just being honest,” you say, eyes pointing at him. You hope he catches your double meaning, but unfortunately your standards for this man’s emotional intelligence was way too high and he brushed off the comment with a laugh.

“Honest? Tell me how?”Oikawa asks grinning. Does he think that this is some sort of game? Twirling his fingers around the creme cups the shop had for the customers, Oikawa raises his eyebrows waiting for your response.

“You know Oikawa, just because I moved schools and joined a volleyball club, doesn’t automatically make you my default favorite volleyball player. I have friends who play volleyball too,” you interject and smile a little when the man shuts down for a brief second.

You made his pride fall.

“Anyways, enough about me. Let’s get started on the project…” You say rummaging around your bag to find your supplies.

Oikawa snaps out of his reverie and starts to set things up too, “I think today we just need to figure out sort of our basis for the project. So specifically what kind of art project we’re gonna do, how we’re going to do the written portion, you know?”

You watch Oikawa ramble on, and you’re taken aback by his astounding work ethic. But you shouldn’t. He was a god at volleyball, from witnesses like you, Kiyoko and several other media. You should have known that Oikawa was hardworking, motivated, ambitious.

But seeing him getting ready for this year's project that you were not going to put your best effort into, you couldn’t help but feel a little envious. Guilty, that you weren’t going to do your best and then seeing Oikawa try his best, but above all envious.

You wish you could handle life like Oikawa Toru. Your parents would be proud if they had a child like Oikawa Toru.

You nod at Oikawa, “Yeah so what were you thinking? The written portion I think will be relatively easy. We just have to find a topic but I still don’t know what that is…”

Oikawa cuts in with that happy-go-lucky smile, “Ah! See that’s why I wanted to meet up early today! Our project is focusing on our passions that both parties share! I wanted to meet up today to talk to you, figure out our schedule of how we’re gonna do this.”

He claps his hands and you groan, “Why are we doing this early in the morning?”

Oikawa falters. Almost like he was deciding whether to tell you if he was going out with his “girl” today.

He doesn’t.

“I’m going out with a friend today,” he said slowly, concisely.

You shrug your shoulders. You couldn’t care less about who Oikawa hung out with.

The action makes his stomach hurt.

“Okay so what are your days that you think would be possible for us to meet up for an hour or 2? I also want it to be at the comfort of our own homes because you know. If we keep going to places where there’s food, I’m afraid we won’t have any work done.”

He doesn’t add the part that he won’t get any work done either because he’ll be staring at you and your indifferent expressions and he’ll also get worried if others could see how in awe he was of you.

Oikawa wishes that he was like you. Carefree, indifferent, nonchalant. He wishes that he wasn’t as uptight as he was, and that he didn’t care so passionately about things to the point where he gets so stressed out.

Oikawa wishes that he was like you. He’s pretty sure his friends would prefer your personality over his.

“Maybe we can just do it 1 hour after practice here. Then, can I go over to your house on Thursdays and Fridays after practice? I don’t think you can come over to mine,” you say, lips pursed.

Oikawa clicks his tongue. That’s new.

He decided not to push it but he nodded. Maybe he can ask about it later.

Oikawa pushes his papers that he had to you.

“My sister did this project when she was in highschool. These were some of her notes and things she did. Let’s look over these so we can cross-examine stuff we wanna do, stuff we don’t and try to formulate an overall plan.”

Oikawa had a sister? Nevermind that.

“Alright let’s do this,” you say, flexing your fingers and looking down at the papers. You thumb through the papers and start to read but Oikawa stops you.

“Hey,” he says quietly. Like it was a secret.

You look up and just as softly reply, “Yeah?”

Oikawa gulps slowly, “My activity with my friend isn’t until 1. After we do this… do you want to go somewhere with me? You know to get to know each other for the project?”

Heat fills your cheeks but you mentally ice it with the image of Oikawa getting hit by Iwaizumi’s spike. You know you should say no… because who knows why Oikawa wanted to hang out with you.

But you don’t.

“Sure… now let’s finally, get this project started,” you say with a smirk, covering up your embarrassment.

Oikawa smiles with relief, “Yes. Let’s do it.”

IMPORTANT INFORMATION TO DISCLOSE

Oikawa wanted to ask [Name] if they could be friends on social media but the sight of her grumpy self made him rethink his choices.

Shoyo and Natsu made fun of [Name] for going out with a boy, even when she told them that it wasn’t a date.

Iwaizumi went out on a jog with Matsukawa and the both of them swear that they saw Oikawa and [Name] at the shop.

Oikawa's "girlfriend" is Mai

prev/next

Taglist: @tanakasimpcorner @saladskittles @zukoslosthishonor @letsnot77

#oikawa fic #oikawa smau #oikawa tōru #oikawa x reader #oikawa toru x reader #oikawa angst #oikawa tooru #oikawa fluff #oikawa x you #oikawa x y/n #haikyu smau #haikyu fic #haikyu angst #haikyu x reader #haikyu fluff #haikyuu angst #tina's cafe menu☕︎ #tina's fics⌨︎

[dabis-devil]

Shinso, Shigaraki, Kamanari, Shoji and Ojiro share their first kiss with their SO? I look forward to seeing your blog flourish!

Can I kiss you?

Thank you for being my first request aAaAa!! Hopefully this does you well :) since you didn't specify, Ima do some head canons. I love you sm for your encouragement 😓

Shinso

Oh boy here we go-

There you two were, outside of the movie theater.

Shinso had asked you to see some thriller movie with him.

let's just say he had a smol (huge) crush, and was finding ways to spend time with you.

Little did he know, the feeling was mutual.

His hands folded into one another, resting near his abdomen.

“ y/n, what did you think about the movie? ” Toshi asked

“ I loved it! What about you? ” you chirped.

Shinso nodded with a slight smirk. “ it was cool. . ”

In wake of the silence, you decided that tonight was the night to shoot your shot!

You tapped on shinso’s shoulder, gaining his attention. You didn't waste a second to press your soft lips against his. Your hands cupped his cheeks, skimming your thumb across his cheek bones. He tasted fruity- probably from the mountain of skittles he ate during the movie.

Shinso was admittedly starstruck for a mere second, but melted into the kiss as his senses kicked in. He moved his hand to your neck pulling you closer. You on the other hand, tasted like butter from the popcorn.

You two shared something that was either a lowkey makeout session, or a high key span of kisses. Either way, both of you were delighted.

Whew! He just had his first kiss! He looooved it!

After the fact, both of you couldn't wipe smiles off of your faces. His were moreso smug & confident, and yours were bubbly and radiant.

Shinso drove you back to the U.A. dorms, the car ride was full of easy going conversations, now that you two were on the same page.

After dropping you off he went back to his own dorm.

His fingers brushed across his lips, and he couldn't help but wear a grin by the reminder that he had been kissed- by you.

Before heading to bed, you got a text from him.

Toshi 🖤 : goodnight kitten, sleep well.

Shigaraki

Poor shigaraki.

He was always so absorbed in his hatred for Hero Society and taking over, he didn't have the time for a significant other; I mean, before now.

Besides the fact that most sane people wouldn't step within a 50 mile radius of him willingly.

Don't worry shiggy, your fans gotchu 😩

You and shigaraki had met during recruitment for the league.

You entered the villains bar in style, holding your head up high.

The way you upheld yourself was just mMmMn mAgNiFiQuE-

Shigaraki began to vigorously scratch at the sentive skin under his jaw, crimson eyes drawn to you.

He wanted you on his team.

“ Kurogiri, y/n would be a fine addition to the league. . Don'tcha think? ” a sinister smile split his lips.

After you settled in, Shigaraki watched your every move. Juuuust to be sure.

It was a few days later that shigaraki began to subtly hint at the fact you aren't absolutely terrible.

“ at least y/n can do their job! ” Tomura snapped at Toga.

To you, this all seemed like something normal for the league.

One night you found Shigaraki drinking by his lonesome at the bar, reluctantly attempting to join him.

Shigaraki jumped, his paranoia driving him to almost decay your face from your skull.

You chuckled in response, and he was a stool over heaving for dear life.

Once he managed to calm his nerves, he took a sip of his drink, turning your direction.

“ y/n, you don't happen to have somebody else in the picture, hmm? ” shigaraki rested his jaw in his fist, his exposed face examining yours. “ that'd be no fun. ”

you scoffed, sipping on your own drink. “ no. I don't. ”

That was the stem of the conversation, which went on for a while. You talked about your ideas (which he took note of), hardships, etc..

Later, you felt as if you knew shigaraki on a completely new level.

You wrapped your arms around the buzzed man's neck, searching in his eyes. Maybe he could be the one? At least for now?

Shigaraki was a tad bit nervous, but that didn't hold him back from kissing you.

Mind you, he hasn't used chapstick since the minute he set foot on this earth- but you know what? We love crusty lips.

You turnt your head to one side, him shifting the opposite direction. His hands lingered around your waist, and the kiss went on for a hasty fifteen seconds or so,

he kept coming back for small seconds.

Shigaraki full on grinned, displaying his preciously goofy smile.

You two had a good night!

Kaminari

Did denki know he was gonna have a heart attack today? Psh. No.

Denki was head over heels for you, and you knew that.

His cheesy flirting 24/7

Always smiling and waving

You catch his wandering eyes when you're in the room.

Denki sat on the couch located in the lower level of the dorms, working through a sheet of homework. You heard the boy groan of frustration, and plopped yourself onto the couch, right next to him.

“ y/n! ” the aggravated boy exclaimed. “ Heyy! ”

“ hey yourself- ” You giggled, eyes wandering over to his sheet of notes. “ what's got you hung up? ”

Denki shook his head, pushing the notebook onto the table. Now that you where here, it's not the time for studying.

“ oh, nothin. ” he beamed, placing his hands behind his head. Afterwards, crossed his legs, and wore the coolest face he could think of. “ Why? Was I, on your mind, y/n? ” denki’s eyebrows wiggled, hoping his antics would prove victorious.

“ actually. . ” you smirked. You stared at kaminari, the boy just radiating such a sense of silliness. “ let's say- hypothetically- that I knew somebody who had a crush on you. . What would you want me to do?? ”

Denki’s face rose, practically overthrown by joy. “ uh- ” he chuckled cockily. “ send them my way!! ”

It was only after the fact that he realized if you were asking. . You probably didn't feel the same way about him. He hid a frown behind a smile.

‘ let's just see whos been crushing on me! ’ he thought. ‘ maybe they will be cool too? ’

Blush spread across your cheeks, as you leaned towards the Sparky boy, planting a kiss against his lips.

Your heart: !!!

His heart: *HDISNBSJSKSM*

Internally doing backflips^^

This dumbass was too surprised to close his eyes and kiss you back. . The first time.

After you leaned away, denki pulled himself out of his dazed state. He had to make this memorable for him too! This is his first kiss! seizing the moment, He leaned forward to kiss you passionately.

You felt a small shock between your lips and his, probably because he got excited and jumped the gun

In the distance, Mina snuck pictures and videos to preserve this beautiful memory.

Good job you two.

Shoji

Shoji had viewed you under heart shaped lenses since he set eyes on you, back at the entrance exam.

Not only are you beautiful, but incredibly skilled and respected.

What's not to love??

Shoji kept to himself though.

Time for romance? No. Time to become a pro hero? Yes.

He held that logic for so long, just admiring you from afar.

That was until you approached him at lunch, sitting with him. You two chatted lunch hour away, everybody else at the table was a little annoyed with the chatiness. Toru even left to go squeeze in with Mina.

The boy watched you head back to class, honestly a bit sad you had to go.

Why couldn't there be no class today?

He just wanted to talk smh >:[

Once Shoji had his priorities in order, his sheepish walls faltered.

From that day onward you saw a lot more of the masked boy.

At your locker, before class, he would say hi while at the dorms too.

When you swallowed the breath hitched in the back of your throat, you invited him to a nearby oriental park.

“ the view- it's beautiful right? ” you chirped.

“ not as beautiful as you. ” he shamelessly complimented you.

The scenery was complete with cherry blossom trees (& trees of other assortments ) koi ponds, elemental buildings here and there.

You pulled Shoji to the bridge that crossed a man-made stream. the two of you watched the water travel down hill for a bit, silence thickening the air.

“ Shoji, ” you turned to match his gaze. “ do you want to go to dinner with me tomorrow? ”

Shoji agreed immediately. . Looks like this was going down the fast trail to being more than friends.

Shoji took the moment to gaze deeply into your eyes, deciding now is the perfect time to kiss you.

Shoji hadnt much of a clue as to what particular part of himself to kiss her with, that ended up being the lips along his face.

Shoji carefully slid down his mask, planting a soft and sensual kiss against your plush lips.

He had two knuckles under your chin to help you look up to him.

While you didn't see this go with the flow type guy to do this, you were glad he did.

Lemme just tell you

He may be calm and composed on the outside,,, despite the soft look gracing his features.

But believe me when I say

He. Was. Screaming. Internally.

Ojiro

You and Ojiro had been officially going out for a week now

This sweet boy was trying to make everything perfect, just for you.

You are his first girlfriend, and he wanted to make you happy! Duh!

Ojiro had been spending a few hours concealed in his room, and he refused to let anybody else in.

He set up a blanket fort, had all of your favorite snacks, amazon on his laptop to rent a movie. Hell, he even strung up christmas lights.

Ojiro wore an Innocent smile when locating you, blindfolding you, and taking you back to his decorative room.

Some of the other student of class 1-A were receiving a different message, one very vulgar at that.

“ whoa there- ” Mineta mumbled, gawking at the sight.

Ojiro’s tail shook from side to side, as the two of you entered the room. He pulled you down towards the ground, onto the pallette prepared with a few hefty blankets, and topped off by a fluffy one.

“ okay. . Open! ” ojiro exclaimed, holding his arms out to present what he had done.

You were left in awe. All of this, just for you? It was so plush and comfortable against your bottom, the light illuminating both of their faces and the fanned out selection of candy. Your face lit up, a beacon for mesmirization.

At this moment, Ojiro couldn't keep his intent behind the night to himself. He wanted to kiss you, and that's exactly what he did.

Ojiro supported a faint blush as he placed his palm on your cheek, inching closer. He laid his lips against yours, drawing them back shortly after.

Ojiro couldn't be more fluster than he was now, but good flustered!

You on the other hand

You swooned over this boy almost instantly.

The rest of the night was enjoyable, you shared the pallette and watched a comedy together.

You were the little spoon

You took a picture of you two on your phone, which would become both of your home screens.

And don't you worry, you were the best first kiss he could've asked for.

#my hero academia #mha headcanons #bnha headcanons #boku no hero headcanons #boku no hero academia #my hcs #my hero academia headcanons #myheroacademia #shinso hc #shinso x reader #shinso hitoshi #denki x you #kaminari denki #kaminari hcs #tomura shigaraki #shigaraki x y/n #shigaraki hcs #shoji meza #shoji hcs #shoji x reader #ojiro mashirao #ojiro hcs #ojiro x reader #shinso #kaminari #shigaraki #shoji #ojiro #im sorry i fell asleep before i put tags on 😭😭 #hcs

[canaryatlaw]

okay, well today was fine. I slept until roughly like 2, my sense of what day it is this weekend has been all over the place, which definitely will not be helped by the fact that I don’t have work tomorrow. but yeah, I decided I wanted to watch my church service, and found out they’re now uploading the full service, not the abridged version they’ve been doing lately, so that was a nice chance to see a bit more of everybody that were definitely missed. after that I watched some Chicago Med, and then decided I wanted to make Italian Amaretti Cookies, which I’ve been slightly obsessed with since getting some in my international snack box thing, but those were really crunchy and most of the recipes I find say they’re either soft or chewy. The ones from the box were actually called amarettini, but when I look for a recipe under that name all of them are in like, german or dutch, which isn’t super helpful, and the one I did find in English was pretty much the same thing as the ones I made, so I think it’s probably just a matter of smaller cookies and longer baking time, so I’ll have to investigate further. and then of course at 7 we had the Batwoman season 2 premiere, which I was hoping so, so much the cw wouldn’t screw up, and honestly so far so good at this point. I think it was a really well done episode, and hopefully is a turning point for the series to better storytelling and just higher quality overall. I absolutely love Javicia and everything she’s posted about being in the show is so stinking cute, and she’s so excited for the role it’s just great. It tooks some big steps forward in terms of plot, I honestly expected fake face Bruce Wayne to stick around a little longer, and I’m very curious as to what the fuck is happening with his face now 😂and still a little disturbed at the idea that Alice can “make” faces. I did like the tie in about the wonderland gang killing Ryan’s mother, I think that was smart, as was amping up the involvement of Safiyah. I will say though, they came out so strongly saying they wouldn’t kill off Kate Kane, but somehow having her appear to be dead to everyone in her life and for us to just ~know~ she’s not dead from the writers telling us with no actual proof or potential opportunity to return- how exactly is that all that different than killing her??? Like I guess we’ll see what happens in the coming episodes, but there were definitely a lot of different directions they could’ve gone with her, it seems a little short sighted to go to the one closest to what all the fans made very clear was not what they wanted. but if you want more of my thoughts on that, come check out our podcast at @BatwomPodcast on twitter and on apple podcasts or whatever you use. but yeah, after the episode I mostly just went back to watching more chicago Med for a bit and then deciding to shower and start getting ready for bed, and now I’m hear and actually super tired, so I’ll call it a night here. Goodnight my dears. If you have off tomorrow, happy day off, and if you do, I hope your Monday doesn’t suck. 

#daily journal #January 2021

[saymypiece]

This nobody’s journal of hot, boring afternoons…

Day 21 (7.4.2020 - Tuesday)

I did not sleep through the night, again! What on Earth! On the other hand, I worked out, a little, but still a workout. As in I played with my dog. She got a hold my bro/sis old silambam belt and goes around playing with it. So grabbed on to the other end and had a tug of war with her, which was fun, until she realised I wasn’t much of a competition and got bored. :S It’s alright, I will prove to her that I am worthy of her time. I shall try again. Practice makes perfect Koko, you adorable snob! 

Day 20 (6.4.2020 - Monday)

Omgoodness its day 20! I cannot believe we have been stuck at home without a choice for so long. I keep hearing of doctors and nurses falling ill, scientists working so hard to create a vaccine. I can’t help but wonder what this virus is all about. This thing we can’t see is causing so much chaos, panic and fear in everyone. And the way I see it, it’s not going away anytime soon. But our God is God over the impossible! He is the only way this virus will be washed out. This time at home, especially during this time leading up to Easter, has allowed me to spend some time in devotion and the Bible. And what I have learnt is we are not alone. Our time on Earth, though temporary, is designed to be fulfilling and beautiful. So I’m embracing that. No matter what comes against me, it shall not prosper. For my God is for me. On the other hand, I have not been able to sleep. It’s been challenging to 

Day 19 (5.4.2020 - Sunday)

As usual, Sunday was enriching and chill. Not that every other day is not chill, but Sundays, they are quite a little more chill than other days. At 3pm, I joined a group chat with some friends from church. Fun.

Day 18 (4.4.2020 - Saturday)

After last week’s shopping debacle, I was terrified about going out there with mum again. Nevertheless, we had needs and they needed to be bought, so I got ready with my gear, the usual suspects of masks, gloves and a hand sanitiser. This time, the mall staff were even more strict. They checked body temperatures before anyone could even enter the building. And only one person per family was allowed in. So, yes, we kinda put on our inner Meryl Streeps and acted the strangers we never knew we could play so well. They believed it. Heck, at one point, even I believed it. My mom, I think, may BE, Meryl Streep, I don’t know. Anyway, no drama during shopping, everything was perfect. I even got to keep my shorts intact the whole time. No, it was a different shorts, I wash them everyday. Yes, I’ve got a whole lot of loose shorts okay? They’re comfy! What some more you want?

Day 17 (3.4.2020 - Friday)

Another Friday has come and gone. There is really nothing new happening, but today, I got to catch up with the darling! You don’t feel time passing you by until you actually do something you used to do very, very often, years ago. We used to Skype and video call all the time until work and life happened. Then suddenly, it had all come to an abrupt end. This conversation felt like such a treat. I felt like I was catching up with her entire lifetime. Well, a lot can happen in over six years. Feeling so blessed for technology and this time we get to reconnect and spend quality time with each other. 

Day 16 (2.4.2020)

Ok so, sleep lost it’s way and didn’t really get back to me, blardee heartbreaker! Didn’t do much other than write and hang around all day. So I decided, to pick up my guitar and do somethin with it. :) You Say by Lauren Daigle

Day 15 (1.4.2020 - Wednesday)

I know it’s meant to be April’s Fool today, but like the rest of the world, it didn’t mean a thing. I mean, our situation right now seems like a giant prank anyway. There is no need to scare anyone else about, anything else. The greatest prank in the world right now would be to just go up to someone who’s NOT your family, and sneeze or cough right at their faces. Once they know you’re pranking em, they’d either laugh or slap you so hard, you begin to foretell your f-f-future. Even watching old YouTube videos of interviews or clips from shows where there is some amount of coughing or sneezing involved makes me cringe so hard! And I’m not the only one. Read the comments. Once thing I am certain of, whether a vaccine is found or not, is that once this MCO is over, everybody is gonna be a germaphobe/hygiene-junkies - always washing hands and sneezing into handkerchiefs and such. Anyway, goodnight, hope sleep finds me tonight.

Day 14 (31.3.2020 - Tuesday)

Oh praise the Lord I’m alright. At least, I think I’m alright. I don’t feel fuzzy, I have no fever, no headache. I was awake super early and I decided to feed my three dogs, for the first time! Let my bro and sis sleep in a little this morning. I had no idea how to do it. I just winged it based on what I thought is normally done, and it worked. The three ding dongs listened, sat patiently, ate sweetly and gave me some kisses. And then, I put on a fan for them, coz there was no air movement out. It was so weird, it was early morning and it was so hot with zero movement in the air. Man, we really need the rain!

Day 13 (30.3.2020 - Monday)

I am so not feeling good today! My mind is racing. Was it the shopping at Tesco on Saturday? Was it the Lontong flavoured Chef noodles I had for dinner last night? What is it? I have a bad headache, body ache and my brain is a little fuzzy, like when I have a fever. When I asked my sister to check my temperature, she confirmed there is a slight fever. Paracetamol. I need it. And a good shower. Had both. Going to sleep again. Maybe I’m tired, exhausted. I’ve told everyone in the house to stay away. Lord, protect papa. And heal me. Let this not be…it.

Day 12 (29.3.2020 - Sunday)

Time for church online. Mummy made friend mee hoon and some Portuguese tarts. It was one of those quiet days. Didn’t do much today.

Day 11 (28.3.2020 - Saturday)

Nope. Zoom didn’t let me down. I let Zoom down! My frickin alarm didn’t go off, or maybe it did and I didn’t hear it, I don’t know. All I know is I wasn’t up until 11.20am! The meeting was supposed to start at 11am! #muchembarassed Thankfully they were all in conversation while waiting for me. I didn’t even have time to brush my teeth. Just washed my face, tamed my hair and appeared online. Connect was awesome though. The two newcomers were great. Kinda weird we didn’t shake hands or hug, kinda weird we literally met face-to-face, online, but it was great! Cheers to new experiences, I say. Speaking of new experiences, I have never liked shopping. Like, ever. I don’t enjoy walking around, I don’t enjoy going to shops after shops after shops. Basically, I’m most men when it comes to shopping. Today, my mom and I had to run to Tesco to stock up on some of our essentials that are running low. I wore a shorts and t-shirt but with two masks, gloves, and in my pockets, Clorox anti-bacterial wipes and hand-sanitiser. We strategised how and what to touch before entering the store. I was going to be the one doing the touching, cos I wore the gloves, and my mom, wearing one glove, was to be the one pointing out what I was supposed to pick out from the shelves. Carefully, but swiftly, we began picking out everything on our list. My heart, for some reason, was drumming like a Taiko drum in my chest. And to make matters worse, sometime during our walking through the aisles, my mom completely ditched our strategy and started touching the things on the shelves! Like, ALL things! Okay, granted, I wasn’t fast enough for her but PATIENCE IS A VIRTUE, okay? Just… keep your hands to yourself and straighten ONLY the index finger. How difficult is that strategy? Now, she’d gone and made my mind spin round and round tryna think of how the virus would travel, or get stuck on her phone (which I sanitised the moment we got out), or what her gloved hand touched and what she could and could not touch anymore not that is has been exposed. Arghh! Finally at the cashier, we more or less got in sync. Everything went according to plan, like which hand she would get her debit card out of my shorts pocket with and which hand she received it from the cashier with after the payment was made. It went pretty perfectly, with the slight risk of me losing my shorts because mummy decided to shove her hands so far down my pockets. The shorts was loose to begin with. Thankfully, with my firm grip, nothing untoward happened. We got out, got home, showered and washed all the clothes we were in. All good. Phew…

Day 10 (27.3.2020 - Friday)

Thankful for technology. It’s made life very easy. Even my mom, who is completely resistant of anything “technology” (because she thinks she would destroy the internet or something) has had to organise Zoom meets, coordinate her kindergarten teachers’ online lessons and activities - it’s been quite a trip seeing my mom grow into this technological wiz, so to speak. I joined her connect group today, had a good discussion. A little nervous about mine tomorrow morning. We will have two newcomers on board. Hopefully Zoom doesn’t let me down.

Day 9 (26.3.2020 - Thursday)

It’s the end of the day, and lo and behold, I have completed the pages I was meant to complete. Turns out, I didn’t have to do some of the last pages, so that saved me some work. I was right. I DO feel blind and like a bat after completing the job, but the satisfaction of a job completed is unmatched. The number of cases keep increasing by around 130 every day! It’s not even funny how people are still choosing to ignore this situation. We are already in day nine of the MCO and they still feel it’s alright to meet their friends and family in such a time as this. If only we all, collaboratively, stayed home for two weeks, we could actually curb this virus from spreading out. STOP GIVING IT TRANSPORT! Ugh! On the bright side, I am organising our Connect meet online.

Day 8 (25.3.2020 - Wednesday)

Quick update: Still on the project. I have managed to complete around 10 pages, mostly profiles. I am so surprised at how weirdly written everything is. On COVID-19, we are 300 cases short of 2000. It’s not looking good at all. And what’s worse, the government has extended the MCO to April 14. So instead of going back to work on 1 April, I would be jobless until 15 April. Lord, I surrender this to you. Let all that happens, happen according to your plan. I place my trust and hope in You, Lord. Amen.

Day 7 (24.3.2020 - Tuesday)

…aaaaaaadddd!!!! There are sooo many words in this, it doesn’t seem to have an end! 105 pages of THIS is more than I can bear!!! I’m gonna go nuts by the end of it, or blind! Anyway, I started on this the day before yesterday, but it has been a lot of, what my dad would call, broken focus. I just can’t seem to stay on the editing bit. I keep getting beckoned by either YouTube or Facebook or Instagram, and end the day without completing even one full page… so here we are. I have exactly two days to complete editing 103 pages of words. *takes a deep breath* RM530 is riding on this, man! Get it together and do it! I know RM530 seems little, but to me, after 5 months of RM0, it’s an upgrade I never thought I’d get. #suckitup

Day 6 (23.3.2020 - Monday)

Monday has arrived. I am refreshed, I have my mind set on the epilepsy article I am gonna write and the copy-editing project from the marketing department. I’m all set. I sent my interview questions to both the people I am meant to talk to. Under the current situation, I am not able to talk to them so email is the next best thing. Except an interview over Zoom would have been better, but they can’t seem to make it. Being researchers and lecturers and all, they don’t have much time on their hands…. unlike me. Anyway, that’s done. Now, continuing the project. Ohhhhmaaaiiiigaaa…

Day 5 (22.3.2020 - Sunday)

Oh Sunday. It was a really awesome Sunday service. It was truly something I think we all needed. The praise and worship was amazing, and allowed me to just soak in worship. Despite all the chaos and fear that I have in my heart and mind, I felt a peace wash over me. Suddenly I realised that the only reason for the fear in my heart is the unknown. But every “next step” we take is an unknown anyway, so why fear this one? I will keep praying, staying home, except during essential buys, washing my hands, working and doing pretty much everything I always do WITHOUT having fear in my heart.

Day 4 (21.3.2020 - Saturday)

What a total frickin crap-show! The numbers are increasing and I’ll tell you the truth, I’m afraid. Every time I wash my hands, I can’t stop wondering if I’ve washed them enough. There is just too much stake. My dad, his lungs are really not good and I am worried about what would happen should one of us get careless and carry this virus home from some essential grocery shopping. The only comfort I have right now is that my God is bigger. I know my God is bigger than all of this. I know my God is bigger than all of this!

Day 3 (20.3.2020 - Friday)

I know I wished for an eventful 2020, but my goodness, enough already! 

OMGIF already?? So, suddenly, the number of the infected in Malaysia hit 1000+. That is really too much! Who’s to blame? Why are there still cow dungs out and about on the roads, meeting friends and speaking their essentials words and letting their spits flow freely in the world and into each others’ ears? Don’t they know of a phone? There’s WhatsApp, Zoom, Hangout, Telegram, frickin Signal, Line, FB Messenger…heck, everything has a caller these days! *checks if Tinder has a caller* Not Tinder, thank goodness. Just…ugh…stop going out. *breathes* Meanwhile, my lovely brother gave us all his homemade Ais Malaysia and it was lovely! Like, it hasn’t properly rained in quite a few weeks now, and it is sooo hot. That Ais Malaysia was truly somewhat of a saving grace. And to top it off, my darling little sister made o-maki sushi, with the tuna and everything. Superb! Anyways, all things considered, the numbers locally are not too bad, is it? Is it? I’ll just have to keep washing my hands… “His palms are sweaty, knees weak, arms are heavy, there’s vomit on his sweater already, mom’s spaghetti…”

Day 2 (19.3.2020 - Thursday)

#tbt like #tbeverydayforthelast5months ! 

This MCO doesn’t really make much of a difference for me since I was not working the last five months. This time around though, I wash my hands more, go out lesser, and can’t go out even if I wanted to. You know what? The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon: Home Edition is super awesome! I love it. It’s a breath of fresh air so I’ll have that to enjoy over this period. When we get out of this, I don’t think my hands will make it out “alive”. The number of times I wash my hands to the first verse of “Lose Yourself” is nuts!

Day 1 (18.3.2020 - Wednesday)

So, I started this to keep track of what is happening in this lovely, wonderful, fantastic nation during the Movement Control Order and also to me, as a… non-essential employee. Coz as long as I’m not working, I am not paid. Ok, let me rephrase that. As long as I am not present AT the office, then I’m not paid. Never been in this position, kinda worrying, but thankfully, I do have projects to complete to get me some kinda cash. Don’t know how its all gonna pan out. I am leaving all these worries to the Lord Almighty coz I know there is nothing I can do to change anything happening around me other than pray and stay home. These daily entries will be filled with dramatics and descriptive nothings, coz seriously, I can’t imagine another two weeks at home. So I AM gonna add some spice to this. Alright, so, first day was…err…normal. How’s that for spice? Whaaaat? I don’t know what to say in this okay? I am just…I just wanna remember what I went thru so…

#mcomalaysia #mco #stayhome #covid_19 #coronavirus #malaysia

[sound-of-inspiration]

Shy Owl Confession

Happy Valentine’s Day, @teabags-and-roses!! I know it’s 2 days early, but I just couldn’t wait anymore!! You gave me so many ships to choose from and I really couldn’t decide at first. But I finally decided to go with BokuAka. I really hope, that you enjoy this little One Shot I wrote and that you have a relaxing Sundy as well as a wonderful Valentine’s Day!! ヽ(*≧ω≦)ﾉ <333

AO3

Bokuto was lost in deep concentration as he held the bag filled with melted chocolate in his hands, his tongue sticking out between his lips while he tried to get the heart, he was drawing, on point. Never again would he blame any girl for saying it was hard to make chocolates for Valentine’s Day.

He had experienced it first hand now and had even burnt an entire plate before these current ones, because he had thought a higher setting on the oven would mean, that the sweets would be done faster. They now rested in the trash bin as unidentifiable, black objects.

“Kotarou?”

“Wah!” Bokuto squawked in surprise as the voice of his mother suddenly interrupted the silence in the kitchen and made him almost squeeze the bag in his hands to hard.

He whipped his head around to stare at the woman standing in the doorway with widened eyes as if he had been busted doing something illegal.

“Sweetie, what are you still doing up? It’s almost midnight. And on a school night.”

At this the wing spiker dipped his gaze a little bit to hide the embarrassed, a small grin on his lips. “Sorry, mom. I’ll go to bed soon, but I need to finish these first.”

Her son’s mumbled response caught the woman’s attention as she walked over to look at the plate full of heart-shaped, chocolate pralines. At the sight of them a knowing smile spread on her features.

“Are you making them for the boy you’ve been telling me about for the past few weeks? Akaashi-kun, right?”

“Mom!” Bokuto’s cheek were immediately set aflame by his mother’s teasing remark.

“Haha, I’m just kidding, dear.” She waved it off with a gentle hand gesture, before smiling at her son. “It is very sweet of you to make something for him.”

Wide eyes peered over at her as Bokuto asked almost shyly. “You think he’ll like them?”

His mother laughed softly at the tiny bit of insecurity showing in her son’s face, before she placed a hand on the teenager’s cheek and leaned up to place a gentle kiss against his forehead. “I’m sure he will like them, Kotarou. How could he not, when you made them with so much love?”

Bokuto whined again at his mother’s gentle teasing, because she was using her knowledge of his obvious crush against him. He shouldn’t have ever told her.

After bidding her ‘Goodnight’ he once again turned to the chocolate pralines and prayed to the gods up there, that Akaashi would like them.

“Yo, Komi.” Konoha approached the libero during the next morning’s training.

“Yeah?”

“What’s up with our ace today?” The blond wing spiker pointed behind him at Bokuto. “He seems more absent minded than usual.”

Komi looked passed him just to see their captain miss another spike, that was set to him by Akaashi, which led him to raise his eyebrows in confusion. “No clue. But you’re right...He has missed an awful lot of spikes today. It’s not like him.”

“What are we gossiping about?” A sudden voice joined their conversation and the both of them turned around to look at Sarukui, who had gotten himself a fresh filling of water from Kaori.

“We’re talking about why our dear captain has missed so many spikes today.” Konoha answered him, while crossing his arms in thought.

Bokuto’s mood swings were always quite the mystery to all of them. The only one, who could really figure him out, was Akaashi. But the setter was occupied right now, so they couldn’t ask him, if he sensed something off with their captain.

Konoha, Komi and Sarukui looked at each other and could only shrug their shoulders as they watched Bokuto miss another spike.

“What are you three standing here around for?” The voice of Yukie interrupted their guessing, at which Komi was the one to point in the direction of the court.

“Bokuto’s been off today. And none of us have a clue why.”

“Oh.” Yukie exclaimed, before a giggle escaped her lips. “I think, that it is nothing to be worried about.”

“What do you mean?” Konoha asked in confusion.

“Well...Okay.” She waved all of them closer, so they leaned in as she lowered her voice to a whisper. “You all know what today is, right?”

“Tuesday?”

“No. The date?”

“February...14th?”

“Yes. And also?”

“....Eh?”

Yukie sighed as all three of the volleyball players stared at her confused. “It’s Valentine’s Day, you idiots.”

“Oh….Oh!”

“Yes, exactly. And what do girls normally do on Valentine’s Day?”

“...They give the boy, they like, chocolate.” Sarukui stated.

At this the manager nodded and a sly smile spread on her lips. “Bingo. And just by coincidence I saw, that Bokuto has a box of chocolates hidden in his bag over there and it is not from someone else.”

“...”

Yukie giggled at the first confused, but then realizing expressions on the boys’ faces.

“No. You think…” Komi started after a few moments of silence.

“...That Bokuto wants to…” Sarukui continued looking over at their captain.

“...Give someone chocolate?” Konoha finished as he stared at Yukie.

“I don’t only think so, I know so.” The female manager giggled and before any of the boys could ask ‘why’, she continued. “Because face the facts...We all have been seeing how Bokuto stares at our setter sometimes. Hopefully he will finally have the courage to confess his feelings.”

None of the players had anything to add to that, because it was the truth. Everybody had seen how, over the past few months, Bokuto would try to catch Akaashi’s attention more than anyone else’s. Sometimes it had even been frustrating to see how longingly he stared at the second year setter.

But never once did the volleyball captain address his feelings towards his kouhai.

Staring at Bokuto lining up for another spike, Konoha let his thoughts drift off. Maybe he could give his captain a little shove in the right direction.

“Hah…”

Bokuto sighed as he held the box of chocolates in his hand, while standing in front of his locker in the changing room. He still needed to get properly dressed, but his thoughts were running wild right now.

The whole day he had waited for the perfect opportunity to give Akaashi the pralines he had made the night prior, but every time he could...He backed out and ran away. Too scared of the setter’s reaction or possible rejection.

Maybe he should just give them to his parents after all.

They were always happy, when they got something self-made from their son.

“Bokuto-san?”

The sudden sound of a smooth voice startled Bokuto and he quickly tossed the box back into the locker only to slam it shut. Only then he turned around and gulped harshly as he was confronted with Akaashi’s beautiful, but confused looking eyes.

“Ah...Haha...Sorry, you surprised me, Akaashi.” The wing spiker tried to play it off rubbing the back of his neck in an embarrassed fashion. “C-Can I help you?”

Seemingly unfazed, because he was already used to Bokuto’s strange antiques, the setter blinked a few times, before he answered. “Konoha-san said, that you wanted to speak to me.”

“Eh?” Was Bokuto’s intelligent remark as he gaped at Akaashi.

“Yes.” The black haired boy explained. “He came to me after training and said, that you had something important to tell me and also, that it couldn’t wait until tomorrow.”

The wing spiker was still utterly confused, but cold, hard realization dawned on him, when he looked past Akaashi’s shoulder to see Konoha leaning into the locker room from its entrance. The blond grinned slyly at him and formed a heart with both of his hands, before quickly disappearing and shutting the door.

“So...What is it, that you wanted?”

It was Akaashi’s voice, that in the end brought him back out of his stupor, but he didn’t really know what to say. He was not prepared for this. He couldn’t just give him the chocolate now, could he? He needed to have a speech prepared or something.

“Ah...Uhm...You see…” Bokuto tried to cover his nervousness with a boisterous laugh, but it didn’t seem to work, because the setter was looking at him with an unimpressed look.

“Bokuto-san.”

The wing spiker withdrew his head a little bit and tried to think of a way out of this, but with the way Akaashi was looking at him he knew, that running away would bring him nowhere. He had learned this in the months of knowing the black haired boy.

“Mh...well...Konoha was right. I wanted to tell you something.” Bokuto mumbled in a low voice, while turning around and opening his locker again. “Or rather give you something.”

He didn’t let Akaashi get us far as to ask another question, but quickly snatched the wrapped box from the top of his clothes and shoved it into the setter’s arms. All while he could feel his cheeks heating up. Even up to the tip of his ears.

Normally Bokuto would be loud and unreserved towards Akaashi. He’d not hold back when talking to the setter. Always being straightforward and full of bright smiles.

But not this time.

He was quiet and almost shy while waiting for the other to react to the box now resting in his hands. Biting the inside of his cheek Bokuto could feel his heart beating rapidly against his ribcage.

It felt like hours until Akaashi finally spoke.

“Bokuto-san. What is this?”

The volleyball captain closed his eyes shortly and gulped down every anxious thought, that crossed his mind right now. He had run away long enough, hadn’t he?

The chocolate was already in Akaashi’s hands. Then Bokuto could bare his heart to him as well, right? There was nothing worse than rejection awaiting him, he thought.

“That’s...chocolate.” The normally boisterous teenager started out slow as he rubbed his arm nervously. “They’re for you, because...it’s Valentine’s Day. That’s when you give the person you like chocolate, right?”

“But...why me-”

“Because I like you.” Bokuto suddenly blurted out. “I-I like you, Akaashi. You’re beautiful a-and the only one, that ever held onto me despite my personality. You always know a way to get me out of my lows and know what to say, when I feel insecure. You’re also-Mmpf!”

His rambling was abruptly cut off by a pair of soft lips very briefly pressing against his own, which caused his heart to stutter in his chest. When Akaashi slowly pulled back again Bokuto stared at him with big, golden eyes, while his mouth hung open in a silent ‘O’.

“I’m sorry, Bokuto-san. But you were rambling.” The setter chuckled in amusement as he tilted his head sideways and smiled slightly at the wing spiker. “Thank you for the chocolate. And for telling me about your feelings.”

Bokuto could almost not believe his eyes when he saw a faint blush appear on Akaashi’s cheeks, while he pressed the box against his chest.

“To answer your confession…” This immediately caught the volleyball captain’s attention. “I do like you as well, Bokuto-san. But would it be alright if we start this out slow?”

…

Had he heard that right?

Considering Akaashi’s waiting gaze, he had. He needed to answer!

“...Ah...AH...Y-Yes, of course! Anything you want, Akaashi!” Bokuto almost screamed, which caused the setter to laugh quietly.

“Great. How about a date this Saturday then?”

“That sounds great! Yeah, let’s do that!”

Bokuto couldn’t describe the happiness, that spread through his entire being while he and Akaashi walked home together not long after they had agreed on the date this coming weekend. The bright grin on his face only displayed a part of how delighted and full of joy he felt.

Later that evening Akaashi was lying on his bed, a book laid out in front of him while his cheek rested against his hand. He couldn’t really concentrate though as he was still thinking about what had happened a few hours prior.

The moment still seemed so surreal in his mind, but every time his gaze drifted to the side he could look right at the box of chocolate, that Bokuto had given to him. He still hadn’t opened it.

This in mind the setter reached out for the object and placed it right in front of him after he had put the book away. It was a simple box, but inside were brightly decorated pralines. Akaashi couldn’t hold back a soft laugh looking over the many different sweets. They really screamed Bokuto.

Picking one of them up it quickly found its way into Akaashi’s mouth and he hummed happily at the sweetness coating his tongue.

“Hm?”

Suddenly though a little piece of paper caught his interest. It was tugged away neatly at the side of the box. Curiously the black haired boy picked it up and unfolded the tiny white sheet, only for a fond smile to spread on his lips.

‘Akaashi!!!! You are the cupid to my heart!!’ was written in bright colours on it.

“Mhmh, you really are something else, Bokuto-san.” The setter mused in a quiet voice as he picked up another praline. “One of the reasons I fell for you.”

He really couldn’t wait for their date the coming weekend.

This was just the beginning of their relationship.

#aaah~ i'm really excited to post this :3 #i hope you enjoy the os #<3 #bokuto kotarou #akaashi keiji #bokuaka #haikyuu!! #hqvalentine

[canaryatlaw]

okay. so. today was pretty fun. I had set my alarm for 10:30 as we’d agreed Jess would pick me up at 11. Well, I woke up to said alarm at 10:30 to a series of messages from Jess telling me to get up already because she wanted nuggets before we went to the con. I told her I’d be ready in 15 minutes, because I was being good and woke up half an hour beforehand when I knew it only really took me 15 minutes to get ready when I’m not doing my make up (doing it in the car here). So I got ready, doing Peter Pan today because I gotta take advantage of my short haired red headed cosplay options because I hate wigs and will be wearing them both Saturday and Sunday. Got picked up, went to Mcdonalds, drove to con, didn’t get stuck in ridiculous traffic like we did yesterday, so that’s a win. I’m trying to remember the details of how everything went down, when you’re there all day and you’re doing different things within a small space it can be hard to remember exactly what you did when. But I think we got there and went to find some people and talked with them for a while, then found Jess’ two friends (”friends”) who were running around doing different things, after waiting for them for a little bit. And I mean, for most of the day we just did different versions of walking around and finding people and looking at things? we’d hang out with a certain group of people for a while and then they’d go off and do a photo shoot or something and we’d migrate to a different group of people. At some point during the afternoon we decided to go through the whole show floor aisle by aisle to assess options before buying anything. I knew I wanted to get a t-shirt of some sort, and sadly there were very few legends-related items out there (I think the only places we really saw them were in the sections where you have the IDs from different shows) so I figured I’d either want something Wonder Woman or Superman related, since those are my other two faves. I was also potentially looking for a cool backpack that’s somewhat bigger than the one I have now because in two weekends we’re doing HVFF New Jersey/Rose City CC in Portland over two days and are just bringing backpacks, and since I decided tonight that I am going to cosplay both days (and the NJ one I am SO excited about!!) I’m gonna need something that can fit a lot of things. What’s annoying about the t-shirt thing is pretty much all of them at cons are only in unisex sizing, not women’s sizes, and I don’t really like how they fit me so I don’t end up wearing them as much as I do the Wonder Woman or Superman shirts I have in woman’s sizes. The other thing I might potentially buy is an Elektra from Daredevil funko pop because back when I was still looking for Katniss but was getting convinced I wouldn’t be able to find her (before I found her online) I was considering making Elektra my next one, and she would fit nicely on my stack of funkos in their boxes (that are literally in a stack on my dresser right now that consists of dark haired women who totally kick ass because apparently I am predictable like that (right now it’s Wonder Woman, Jessica Jones, and Katniss) (I do have three other funkos that are out of their boxes and placed elsewhere, which are my White Canary and Captain Cold, placed in conjunction of course, and Smallville Green Arrow played by Justin Hartley love of my life and the only actor to portray Green Arrow in live action as far as I’m concerned). So we set off to do that. A number of good Wonder Woman options I took note of, a few ones that are old comics styled, a few featuring other Justice League members like Superman and such (though I’m really not a Wonder Woman/Superman shipper like, at all, so not those because Clois is the only valid ship for Clark Kent, though I am open to WonderBat possibilities). There is also a very cool Wonder Woman backpack we were looking for that I’ll probably go back and get because it had a lot of places to put stuff and looked like it could fit everything nicely, it was just 60 bucks so I wanted to make sure it was definitely the best one before actually buying it. The Elektra pop has shown up a few places, cheapest so far for $10, so I’ll keep looking at those since there are of course a ton of places with pops. We kept getting stopped by random men that wanted to talk to us because Jess was being a fucking furry (she got asked to take a picture with two people in full on fur suits and I was dying laughing while also taking a picture of it). By the time it was like 5:30 or so we were pretty much done with everything, so we ended up meeting up with some people and heading to one of the restaurants over by the parking garage, because if you eat at one of the restaurants there they’ll validate your parking so you don’t have to fork over like $15 just for parking. So we ended up going to the German restaurant, which is always a bit of an adventure lol. The first time my family went to DisneyWorld when I was like 12 our restaurant reservations got messed up for one of the days and the only other place we could get in was the German restaurant in Epcot, and all I remember is there menu being like, essentially like three different types of hot dogs, so whenever I think of German food now that’s what I think of, and how I somehow managed to not barf it all up when my brothers and I ran (literally) from Epcot over to Animal Kingdom to get to our fast pass for Expedition Everest, which we made with like 4 minutes left on it and then went on the crazy roller coaster where I was sure I was gonna puke it all up (our restaurant reservation was for like, 4:40, and the fast pass was between 6 and 7, so we thought we’d be fine, but the restaurant got super backed up and didn’t seat us till like 6:15, so we basically ate like half a meal and then ran from the middle of the Epcot circle of nations through the rest of the park, onto the tram and then all the way through Animal Kingdom to Expedition Everest, making it at 6:56). But we got some super cute pictures of my darling baby sister who was 3 at the time and like at peak cuteness dancing to the polka in the German restaurant so that was definitely worth it. ANYWAY. this restaurant seemed somewhat similar in that there was a polka band and everything but thankfully had a larger menu selection. Jess and I ended up splitting some potato pancakes (sorry Germans, they weren’t as good as latkes) and a jumbo pretzel because she doesn’t eat red meat and I’ve been getting Meat Fatigue™ (which we’re still pretending is a real thing okay). We had an interesting conversation going on around us as the guy sitting next to me was trying to say it was bs that people were making excuses for James Gunn in that situation when strongly condemning Trump for making obscene comments, except he was not explaining it well at all and it was totally being lost in translation for everybody else until I was like okay, this is what you mean and explained it and he was like “yes, exactly! I like her” to which I was like 😂😂😂 understanding what people are saying pretty much all the time and explaining things happen to be two random talents of mine that come in handy a lot. So the meal was pretty good, one of the ladies we were with graciously picked up the tab so we were very thankful to her for that. At that point we were pretty beat so we walked back to the parking garage (after getting our parking validated) and drove home. I got dropped off and we planned to pick me up at 10 am tomorrow. I fumbled in the dark with my keys for a few minutes because somehow all the outdoor lights and the lights in the hallway of my building have gone out and not been replaced (yes I could’ve turned my flashlight on on my phone but I was being stubborn and wanted to do it myself) but eventually got it figured out. NICKZANO was very happy to see me, though I told her she’s gonna have to get used to being alone more once I get a job (at some point, anyway). I think I may actually be allergic to cats though, because my legs where I’d been letting her sit on are like hella itchy, but it’s obviously not a major issue at all and I’ll just like, put pants or longer shorts on from now on and that won't be a problem. I showered and changed into my pajamas, then watched a few episodes of 30 Rock, keeping it nice and light. I’m in their 5th season now out of 7 (which is kinda funny because I’m also on the 5th season out of 7 on GoT right now) so sooner or later I’m gonna have to find something else for funny filler episodes when I just want funny tv. And yeah, I did that for a while and then finished getting ready for bed and here we be now. So yeah, lots of fun, hopefully tomorrow will as well, I will be debuting my Ava Sharpe cosplay (who I was never really planning to cosplay but ended up needing to do so for our photo op with Matt Ryan which is gonna be fucking hilarious, just wait) and seeing Matt Ryan so that will be fun. I’ll probably wait till Sunday when I’m doing my also new (and pulled together exclusively of stuff I already owned because business wear) Lois Lane cosplay to see Tom Welling and Michael Rosenbaum. I was considering doing a photo op with them, but their joint one was $150 which is a tad excessive, and like, Tom alone was still $90 and I wouldn't even know what to do in a single one with him because I’d rather like, have one with both of them so Tom and I could look like we were fighting Michael, but also Michael has hair now so he doesn't even really look like Lex Luthor anymore, so given all of those factors I decided meeting them and getting selfies with them in my cosplay would be good enough. Okay, that’s all I got, it’s 1 am and I’m waking up at 9:30 and I like sleeping so I’m going to go to bed now. Goodnight peeps. Have a lovely weekend.

#daily journal #August 2018 #Jess tag #Rachel's cosplay adventures

[canaryatlaw]

Well, today was pretty good. Feels particularly long for some reason, possibly just because there was a lot of different things going on. My alarm went off at 10:35 and I groaned and did *not* want to get up, so I was like how much longer can I sleep in if I take an uber there, at which point I realized I was already taking an uber which meant I had to get up right now. Drat. So I got up, got ready, got in an uber and went to the doctor who had actually figured out and cured my coughing fits. I was definitely skeptical at the time, but I legit haven't coughed in like, days, so I'm just impressed now haha. It was pretty quick, mostly just a follow up. Asked how I was doing and all that, took my vitals and a few other things and I was good to go. He said to stop taking the nose spray he had put me on and see if it makes a difference or not to see if I really need it. So then I got another uber and came back to my apartment. It was only like 1 at that point and I didn't have anything to do till PT at 4:30, so I ate lunch then started tearing apart the mess that has become my room, lol. I folded all the clean laundry that I've been picking through in my hamper, and filled the hamper with some of the dirty clothes strewn on most of the floor. Then I decided to hang the other two strands of string lights I had gotten from target, I have 4 now, all from target and all different. This took some precarious balancing because in order to continue them I had to get them above my window which involved standing on the windowsill and then partially on the ledge of my dresser haha but I made it out unharmed and everything looks good. The only thing is the two new strings are battery powered instead of electric, so they won't go on when I flip the switch, I tied the strands all together but I need to flip their battery switches which of course didn't end up in the most easy to reach place, but I can deal. After that I did some more general cleaning stuff that was long overdue (and there's still plenty to do). I need to go through and get out my summer clothing, but I didn't want to do that quite yet because it's been so fucking cold here the past week or so I don't want to put all my cold weather clothing away, lol. So around 4:10 I left and ran to the UPS store so I could mail my dad a big envelope with the doctor's paperwork so he could submit it to our insurance company to (hopefully) get reimbursed. The doctor only takes certain types of insurance and ours isn't really one of them so we have to pay out of pocket and then try to get a reimbursement and see if that happens. I know I'm very lucky to have parents who allow me to do that when the first visit, since it has tests and all that, came to nearly $450 and I clearly couldn't pay that on my own. So I shipped it via USPS from the UPS store because you can do that and it's cheaper and the post office is on the other side of town so that's a lot easier. Then I walked down a few blocks to where the physical therapy place was. It was a pretty entertaining session. As we were getting checked in the Cubs were in the bottom of the 9th with a tied score, and throughout the rest of the appointment continued into overtime until they finally scored in the bottom of the 13th right at the end of my appointment, so we were all happy as we'd all been pulling for them the whole time, lol. My PT guy did some different kind of muscle work on my back because he thinks the pain is actually higher than he originally thought based on what I've said about it so that was interesting, then we did a few different exercises based more around like balance and still core strength but somewhat more posture focused I guess might be the way to describe it. It felt like a good session though. My PT guy continues to tell me that I'm ridiculously flexible, which I really am haha so when I'm doing the exercises sometimes he's just like "you don't have to go up that far...at all.....like you can go a lot less actually" which I find entertaining. So it was almost 6 by the time I finished there and I wanted to leave around 6:30 for the small group dinner, so I ran home and got changed and did my make up, since I hadn't done that yet today (I've gotten somewhat more casual about not always doing it if I don't have something formal to do, which I guess is good, I'm just still worried about how some people would get an impression of me but that's stupid anyway) and then went to get on the bus. The bus was running behind, for traffic or whatever, then when I got off I couldn't find the bus stop of the other bus I was supposed to get on from there, and then once I did the bus was like 16 minutes away with a 7:28 arrival time meaning it was already 7:12 and we were supposed to be there at 7:30, so I said fuck that shit and luckily the blue line station was right there as well (it was where I normally transfer to it from the 50 bus) so I was able to take that two stops and then walk for like ten minutes to get to the place, which wasn't terribly preferable but it could've been worse. It was just so damn windy and cold that I'm like clutching my winter coat to myself and IT'S FUCKING MAY. Like wtf. But I made it there by like 7:35 and before other members of our party still so I didn't feel so bad about being late since I was already internally freaking out about it. I ended up at the end of the table next to one of the leaders, and for most of the evening I ended up talking to her about serious shit haha because she had friended me on Facebook a while back and my Facebook wall is legit just a series of articles and posts about the church and politics or the church and misogyny or the church and the LGBT community or just how fucked up this administration is or other relevant topics, so we started talking about the church in that context and I basically let loose what I had been holding back from small group this whole time because I didn't want to just start bashing the church in front of everybody based someone on political opinion knowing that someone probably disagreed with it. It was refreshing, really. I don't find these kind of heavy conversations saddening or difficult because I know talking about it and creating a dialogue is the way that we're going to get answers to these questions. And plus I end up in a lot of serious conversations with near strangers VERY quickly because basic small talk of "what kind of law do you want to go into?" almost always leads into a discussion of the state of the foster care system and my feelings on it- seriously, the number of uber drivers who have heard my feelings on this matter is fairly numerous, lol (I actually had a really good discussion on it with the lady who drove me back from the doctor, she had raised several relative's children to keep them out of the system). So I really enjoyed the conversation. We talked a lot about misogyny and rape culture and how that's promoted in the church under the guise of purity culture and promoting modesty, or trying to elevate men above women, at which point I expressed my gratefulness for our church that makes it so clear our married co-lead pastors are equals in marriage and in pastor-hood, that for all intents and purposes women are completely equal to men and there is no religious reason that shouldn't be the case. It's just so great to see. So the conversation was good, but I need to talk about the place now. So this is the fancy restaurant the guy from our small group that I was kind of starting to like works at as a wine curator, though sadly he couldn't join us tonight (though he apparently arranged for us to get sent free appetizers and desserts, so that was very nice of him). It's called Carnivale and its of course VERY bright and colorful, somewhat of a Spanish theme though that may only be because they were promoting their cinco de mayo celebration tomorrow, but they had women in (what I believe to be) traditional Spanish dress doing Spanish dances and such so that was cool. The food was of course expensive, and I always have to walk a fine line there because so often I can't tell if I'm gonna be able to eat something until it's in my mouth and I just can't rely on other people's opinions because like, they just don't understand it haha. But I asked the waitress and she said I should be fine, so I got the scallops and for the most part I was, there was a small amount of sauce that was a bit much for me but I was able to scrape most of it off or avoid it so no big deal there. Then we got these awesome house made (organic) cotton candy desserts from our employee so that was cool. Overall really fun and enjoyable night. I'm gonna miss a lot of these people, but hopefully I'll be seeing them at church at some point. I did try to message the guy on Facebook a little earlier today but it was kind of stilted so I was just like okay if this wants to happen give me something here or I'm just gonna drop it. And I mean, I may still see him at church or something so it's not a foregone conclusion. I did uberpool to get home because it was cold and I didn't want to get stranded waiting for the 50 bus like I had so many Thursday nights before, and we ended up picking up two different guys in our trip north, the first was silent pretty much the whole time but the second guy was nice and we chatted a bit with the driver. And then I got home and was tired so I pretty much went straight to getting ready for be and here we are, and my eyes want to be closed now so I'm going to listen and do that now. Goodnight babes. May the fourth be with you. 🙏🏻

#daily journal #May 2017 #and also with you

[canaryatlaw]

So, all around today was pretty good for a Monday. I really did not want to get out of bed when my alarm went off because I was tired AF, despite trying to go to sleep "earlier" (I think I ultimately turned the lights off around 12:30- it's 1 am right now 😑) and it took me 6 minutes to convince myself to get out of bed but I did it and got ready. Bus to work, checked in with my boss and she asked if I wanted to go to a CIPP with her at 10, so we left for that shortly after. She's kind of perpetually late to everything, so we were a bit late since it was a bit of a drive, and at the beginning there was this whole discussion if we should proceed without the child team specialist and they were like yeah okay let's do it, then spent half an hour talking about stuff before concluding we did need the child team specialist and having to pick another date for the end of July to do that, so basically it was a HUGE waste of time. We did get the paperwork though that we hadn't gotten before, all the info we had was that these were 4 and 5 year old siblings who had a neurological that apparently recommended residential. Residential for 4 and 5 year olds???? It's not unheard of, I've seen it before, but it's a pretty extreme measure. So I'm reading through the paperwork while they're meeting, and while these kids obviously have fairly severe behavioral problems, they're both diagnosed as on the autism spectrum and have what's considered "extremely low" IQ's (60's and 70's I think) they in no way qualify for residential, they just need a specialized placement. Ugh. So then we get back to the office and my boss has a message from the caseworker about some allegation of corporal punishment, so she had me call her back and apparently the caseworker had gone to see the kids who had said the foster moms adopted daughter hit them, when she asked the foster mom about it she balked and prompted said she wanted the kids removed. GREAT. So now they have to find another placement for them they might get removed from as soon as they get approved for specialization. Lovely. My boss asked me what I thought about separating the siblings, because there was a lot of stuff in the paperwork about them setting each other off and being aggressive and physically violent with each other, and I had mixed feelings, partially due to my own experiences with siblings. On one hand they're one of the only stable pieces of each other's lives at such a young age, but if them being together is making their behaviors worse it might be in their best interest to separate them. So I was really torn on that. But anyway, I ate lunch and then spent another hour or so in the office sending certified letters and making some other phone calls before heading back out for a meeting at 4 that we apparently underestimated the distance of, lol. Our judge is out this week so we're gonna be going into the field a lot. We ended up driving for a solid hour and a half thanks to traffic, and had to start the meeting via cell phone with me furiously taking notes in the passengers seat while my boss drove. Eventually we got there, it was at the dad's apartment regarding extending visits to overnights since the girl is 18 and very much wants to return home. They both said they'd be cooperative with whatever services, and it looks like a promising situation. Apparently the girl has had a lot of behavioral issues in the past but is now doing much better? So hopefully that will last. Very strange case, it apparently came in because the dad left the kids home alone while he had to go to court because they wouldn't go to school, but they weren't even that young??? Like preteen and teen, so I don't really understand why that was screened in. The dad and daughter both obviously had at least moderate cognitive delays, the dad had reportedly suffered a brain injury at some point, but overall seemed competent to take care of an 18 year old who's pretty damn independent (I mean it's not like taking care of a newborn) and I mean he can hold down a job and an apartment and drive, so that's gotta count for something. So that was ultimately productive and we agreed we'd go to the judge to ask for a change in the visiting order to include overnights. By the time we got out of there it was like 6, and my boss and I were both losing it a little just being silly, so we stopped at Dairy Queen because we felt like we deserved ice cream, so she bought me a cotton candy blizzard that was delicious, even if it probably hurt my stomach. I have my sort of period (my not really supposed to be happening because of birth control but I took the placebo pills this month because I was running out and for once it decided it wanted to bleed so here we are) so my stomach was kind of unsettled from that all day, not too crampy or unbearable thank GOD (I would've died) but enough for a decent amount of irritation. Sigh. Oh well, I should be getting more BC soon and hopefully that will end it. Anyway, my boss drove me back to the end of the blue line on the western edge of the city since we were way out west and she lives out there anyway, and we hit a decent amount of traffic so it took like an hour, but it could've been worse. So I took that up through the loop and back out to meet my bus like I do when I'm coming home from church (except I was a lot further west on the blue line to start with). I ended up getting home around 8:15, which is only slightly ridiculous haha but I wasn't too mad. Had dinner and chilled for a bit, then talked to my sister on the phone for about 15 minutes. Her boyfriend, who I disapproved of and was trying to get her to dump while I was there broke up with her a few days ago, and she wasn't too upset but I was still reassuring her the pain would of course go away with time and she'll be fine before she knows it, because that's very much her personality, and I don't doubt that she will be. Damn I love that kid so much, and it made me happy that she came to me about it. She's going to North Carolina to visit with our cousins down there tomorrow, so that should be some good time away from everything for her (including our parents, since she's apparently still fighting with our mom like crazy, I have to make sure our mom calls the therapist to set up and appointment for her). After I got off the phone with her I watched Kubo and The Two Strings with my roommate since she was home, and ohmygosh this movie was so cute!!! I loved it. By the end I was making audible squee-ing noises because I just couldn't take how adorable it was. And the story was really so well done! All around great movie, very adventurous plot and plenty of heart, I definitely recommend it to just about everybody. And yeah, after that I started getting ready for bed. This was longer than I would've liked but it's not quite yet 1:30 am so I'll take it, and I'll take as much sleep as I can get so I'll be going to do that now. Goodnight ladies and gents. Stay classy.

#daily journal #June 2017 #still June

[canaryatlaw]

Okay, I need to write this thing and get to bed. Today was good! A bit hectic for obvious reasons but overall good. I woke up around 1:13ish, and got dressed then started packing all the other items I needed to grab, basically just toiletries and stuff I hadn't thrown in my bag yet, so that didn't take very long. I went downstairs and decided on pizza rolls as an appropriate breakfast because why the fuck not, so I ate those while scrolling through my laptop to deal with anything pressing before we left for the airport. One of my high school teachers who has MS and is confined to a wheelchair recently got into a car accident, and while he's okay his van was totaled, and of course it was a special handicap van so it's gonna cost a lot to replace, so there's a gofundme being run by some former students to raise money so he can get a new one. My parents know the family as well so I was talking to my dad about donating, and he immediately wanted to know the details of the accident and if they could go after the other driver's insurance for a payment, so he's probably going to pursue that route since he has the legal ability to do so, lol, but probably make a donation too. Around 3 our ride to the airport showed up, it's the same family friend who drove me home from the airport last week, and soon we were on our way. He talked with my mom for most of the ride so I didn't have to carry too much of the conversation and was mostly on my phone for the ride. We made pretty good time, and it didn't take us too long to get into the actual airport from the entrance, which is an accomplishment because laguardia has a ridiculous construction project going on right now and the traffic because of it can be beyond insane (the main reason my parents have been flat out refusing to fly out of laguardia, but I've been very stubborn about it lately because otherwise my travel time is legit twice as long and I'm sick of it). But we got checked in and got through security in no time. Somehow I ended up with the TSA precheck on my boarding pass, I think because my mom booked the tickets and she has it for some reason (she never registered but has always just had it, lol) so that was a bit more convenient. I've been trying to get signed up with it forever now but my damn passport is MIA so that's been hampering my efforts unfortunately. Ugh. So we get through the rather small area of the terminal by our gate and we wait. We ended up there fairly early because that was when we could get dropped off, so we had a good amount of time to hang out. I was on my laptop for a little while, but unlike the other airports I've been to for some reason laguardia will only let you have one free 30 minute wifi session, where at the others you can just keep renewing it, so that was a bit irritating to discover. There wasn't much as far as food options in our section, so I ended up getting some chicken noodle soup and an apple cinnamon croissant from au bon pain, which is an untraditional combination but I ate them separately of course, lol. They just happened to be the two things that appealed to me. So I hung out and tried not to run down my phone battery too much, which I was mostly successful in thankfully. It was getting rather close to our boarding time and there was like no staff at our gate, and the monitor that displays the flight going out of there hadn't been working, so I began to suspect something was wrong. When the boarding time came and nobody was there, I went and checked the monitors, and sure enough it had our flight going out of another gate, and it was in the process of boarding. Crap. There was no announcement made and there were plenty of other people waiting at the gate we were at, it just turns out they weren't waiting for the same flight as us. Thankfully the other gate was just on the other side, so we ran over there quickly and literally just made it on, so that was a bit of a close call (my mom had checked the monitors earlier so I assumed she would have noticed a gate change, but apparently she didn't think to look, so I get credit for saving the day). Stuff like this is a fairly common occurrence in traveling with my family because, well, frankly they're just bad at it and they make stupid mistakes like that all the freaking time, whether it's at an airport or on a road trip or what else. It's why I generally prefer traveling alone, lol. But this is definitely not the first time I've been the only one to pick up on something that ended up being a huge deal. Sigh. Oh well lol, crisis avoided for today at least. And a good one too, because there definitely wouldn't have been another flight to this airport tonight, so that would've been a big issue. So we board, and we end up waiting a bit to take off, and then our captain gets on the loud speaker and says we're probably gonna have to wait another half hour before we can get cleared for take off so of course everyone was like UGH, but then not even 5 minutes later he was back on saying we suddenly got moved ahead of a bunch of planes and were taking off now, so that was cool! I was teasing my mom that the sudoku puzzles they always have in the back of the airline magazine were too easy (the hard one was already completed on both of ours) being that I completed both the easy and medium ones before we even got off the ground. But that may just be a sign that I've played too much sudoku and am now a little too proficient at it compared to most people, lol. But once we got in the air I switched over to reading fanfiction as my source of entertainment, and proceeded to do that for the rest of the flight. I still have several more downloaded that I've yet to read for the flight back. We landed just on time and got off the plane pretty soon, their airport is like, super tiny so we got through it quickly and met my cousin and her aunt (the aunt is from the other side of her family, so she's not my aunt) and then ended up waiting a little bit for the baggage claim before heading out. We got back to their house and everyone was around. Basically it's just a ton of relatives in the house right now, but it's literally all adults. I know that by all standards I am also considered an *adult* at this point, but I was the only one from my generation there other than my two cousins who live here, one of which is graduating from high school tomorrow, hence the reason everyone is here. So I was kind of glad I came so at least she's not just surrounded by adults the whole time since her brother tends to be MIA frequently. I sat with my uncle and my cousin's aunt (they live on Long Island so we know them fairly well) for a little while and talked about politics among other things, mostly just about how ridiculous our current climate is and how absolutely ridiculous it's made the people around us (I told them how in my house now they ALWAYS have Fox News playing and consider any criticism of the president heresy and I'm just like WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED HERE because it was NEVER like this before he got sworn in and it's so foreign to me). Then we talked about various older relatives and the inappropriate things they say sometimes (I commented that I'm running out of older relatives so I miss these moments, haha) and during this the others were going through an old photo album of my grandmother's that had lots of picks of my mom and her siblings growing up along with some of the grandkids, so we ended up spending a while looking at those and talking about the moments we remember, and how much one person looks like another person in the family. It was nice. And yeah, we mostly just hung out for the rest of the time and commented on the fairly ridiculous local news stories that came on after the hockey game was over (they live in a fairly rural area, and it was clear not all that much news worthy stuff happens here). It was nice. Eventually we started heading to bed, and that pretty much brings us up to now. I'm sharing a bed with my mom in my cousin's room (I said it wasn't fair that we were kicking her out of her room when it's her graduation we're celebrating but she insisted it was okay) and it looks like everything is working out despite their being a lot of people here and there being a lot going on. I know my aunt gets anxious really easily and has been majorly stressed out this whole week, so I think everyone is trying to make things easier on her so she doesn't end of freaking out, lol. She definitely has a lot on her plate at the moment and is prone to getting overwhelmed, and I know nobody wants to see that happen so hopefully everyone will be on their best behavior (apparently earlier during the conversation on inappropriate comments by older relatives, it came up that a great uncle that's here but had already left for the night was stirring up some trouble earlier today, but hopefully that won't be an issue). So yeah, that's about it. Tomorrow we have her graduation with everybody so that should be fun. I have a lot of good memories of vacationing here as a child and I've always really enjoyed being here, soon happy about that. Okay, it's late and this is long so I'll shut up now. Goodnight my friends. Happy Friday.

#daily journal #June 2017

[canaryatlaw]

Alright it's late so I should get this written and get to bed. So today was fine. Woke up on time (yay!) and made it to the bus and took the bus to work without falling asleep. They changed up the sheriffs doing the security checks and suddenly I don't set the alarm off every time anymore....I knew it was that one bitch that always set it off manually on me (it's okay, I'll make a lot more money than her in my life even if I work for the government). Got to my office, boss isn't around, so I go through the DCP packets in the case we've been working on and created profiles for all of them, who's involved and who the allegations are against, and how they may or may not be related to this case. So that took more of my morning. I did do my caffeine in the morning, but around 11 or so I think I did start to feel overwhelmingly tired, so I took a half hour nap at my desk and just continued what I've been doing, working through lunch to make up to it. So after I was finished with that I returned to the phone calls for most of the day. There was one really good one they talked about their daughter and I got a page's worth of info from it, so that was helpful but most of the rest of them are like.....they're either being so sappy to each other or fighting over the stupidest shit- like she called going out with some friends a "double date" and he flipped a shit on her, and then there was something about her talking to his grandmother and he flipped out on that and I was just like wow this is actually a really emotionally abusive relationship (which is funny because in the calls they were like "the foster parents are probably telling our daughter all sorts of lies about us and emotionally abusing her" and I'm just like okay sure buddy) but nothing else was too ground breaking. Since it really didn't take all of my concentration, I tried to do some other stuff done in the mean time. I had looked at theatre auditions in Chicago yesterday and gotten frustrated that my options are sadly limited, which doesn't make any fucking sense but half the shows listed up there are like, out in some suburb like bitch I don't have a car it's not happening lol. But I went back through them today and identified 3 that could potentially work, and emailed each of them questions about the time commitment details they didn't post on the page. One of them was like "please make sure you can make all Monday rehearsals before submitting" but didn't state when the Monday rehearsals started or ended so I emailed asking that and got the reply of "thank you for submitting yourself to audition..." and I was just like, ugh lol but hopefully that will work itself out better. Later tonight I did hear back from another one whose schedule just might work very well for me, their space isn't far from my apartment, so the only hustle would be getting to the few weekday 6 pm rehearsals on time. So I went ahead and sent in my headshot and resume and got an audition slot for Saturday and I'm so excited!!!! This is the first thing I've auditioned for in Chicago haha it's been so long and I'm so happy to be back. The show is an original and I think it's part of pride, it's called "pride ever after" and from what I can tell it's fairy tales + homosexuality haha for audiences 10+, which sounds like great children's theatre content to me. And of course I'd just have so much fun personally with the concept because I could run around my Christian conservative circles screaming THE GAYS ARE COMING TO INDOCTRINATE YOUR CHILDREN EVERYBODY RUN and it probably wouldn't go quite like that but you know what I mean. Lol. So after I finished looking at auditions and had nothing else I could really do, I decided to play candy crush which I haven't played since 2013 when I got stuck on a level for like, a month, and gave up out of frustration. It was a decent level of distraction while still being able to listen to the calls. It's too bad the government isn't the one paying me, it'd be really satisfying to be earning government money for this 😂 but hey, school money is good too. So I did that until the end of the day and left a few minutes early to catch the 5:02 bus. Got home an out of my business clothes by 6:20, so I had a small amount of time to get ready before going to physical therapy at 7. I had the guy I had last week that I liked a lot, and I felt like it was pretty productive, though I definitely came out of it with some aching muscles (though that's more or less the point, I suppose). After I walked across the street to Jewel just to pick up some cocoa krispies and milk because I was running low on both and I'm very suspicious of milk right now because we keep finding the refrigerator door open a tiny bit and then I look into it and it kind of looks curdled but like idk how to tell if it doesn't really smell, so I've been using it but felt really uneasy about it and my stomach was bothering me today, so I may just blame it on that. Jewel, however, did not have any cocoa krispies in stock, which of course I was shocked and appalled at, so I had to settle for cocoa pebbles (inferior, but still decent). I then grabbed milk and remembered I had like no yogurts for lunches because I ended up tossing a few because of questionable edible status so I grabbed a couple of those too. Paid, and I was walking back to my apartment by the parking lot and I feel something on my right arm and I look and it's this big bug just sitting there (big like, in relation to a mosquito which you'd expect in this situation). So of course my immediate reaction was to freak out and drop my grocery bag on the ground, and the girl that was passing the other way was just staring at me like wtf just happened and I was just like "I'm fine, there was a bug...." haha and then of course my PT guy had to show up at that moment too also walking home and was like "yeah, we'll work on lifting techniques next week" totally joking and I was just like there was a bug!!! Lol it was humorous. Got back to my apartment and my roommate's friend is there with her and they're playing guitar hero, so I just join them on the couch as they play and then start SNL and a couple other shows. Roommate's friend left shortly after 10 so I then turned on Supergirl. Overall I thought it was a really good episode! The return of Cat Grant obviously made my life because she IS my life and I just so wish we could've had her this whole season, it would've been soooo much better. Teri Hatcher is very good at playing evil Rhea, her and the actress that plays Lillian Luthor are both very good at the whole I love my child more than anything except my power and how that trips them up. The whole time I was like WHERE IS JAMES DAMMIT but him swooping in at the end was pretty epic, and of course Cat knew who he was in about 2 seconds flat lol. When her and Supergirl were talking by the dumpster I really wanted Cat to just deliberately call her Kara but I guess they want to play it out like she's pretending she doesn't know (because she obviously does). I mean, everyone on that spaceship really should've been able to tell that's Kara Danvers, lol. The whole Meh-El and Lena forced marriage plot made me cringe more than a little bit, just because it reminded me of the Oliver and Nyssa forces marriage is season 3 of Arrow and just how bad that was. This one wasn't that bad, but it was still rather uncomfortable. But I liked it a lot and look forward to next week's episode, which will hopefully contain Meh-El dying in some way or being sent away to lead his people or something up that alley. Okay, that's it for today. Tomorrow will hopefully be the end of the child death case and we'll get a final ruling, so fingers crossed for that. Goodnight starlights. Keep shining.

#daily journal #May 2017