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eclectic-sassycoweyes · 10 days

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Nice Ask Week! Mar, if you could make the Lone Star writers include ONE THING in season 5, what would you ask for?

I was in the middle of writing a whole list bc I “couldn’t pick just one” but! BUT!! I HAVE ONE ACTUALLY!! I WANT TARLOS TO VISIT THE REYES RANCH (lol I forget, is the Reyes Ranch even canon or is it just so unanimously fanon that it feels like it is?) either way… I NEED CARLOS ON A HORSE SO BAD !! I NEED TK TO SEE CARLOS ON A HORSE SO BAD!!! I NEED THEM TO GO TO SUNDAY LUNCH, OR A WEDDING OR BIRTHDAY AND LAUGH AND JOKE AND BEING THE COOLEST FUNNEST UNCLES FOR ALL THE KIDS RUNNING AROUND!!!

I NEED Carlos’ sisters to tease him in front in TK. I NEED for Carlos to teach TK horseback riding and either be impressed by his city-slicker(🤣) boyfriend and take him to a romantic spot Or for this exact thing that @lemonlyman-dotcom describes in this post to happen😂 I also NEED for one or both of them to go all heart eyes at seeing the other with the kids or just for Carlos to see TK being casual and charming and familiar with the Reyes family🥹 also BONUS POINTS if someone gets injured, or goes into labor, or one of the kids gets sick in some way, and TK flashes his paramedic skills, just flexes those paramedic muscles you know? 🚑💪

Here’s what I want: I want the ranch to go up for sale. Gabriel should have been the one to inherit it, and he and Andrea were to move there come his retirement. Obviously Gabriel wasn’t doing all the ranch work (he was a Texas Ranger so he wouldn’t have the time) - there were workers and some of Carlos cousins working on it, Gabriel just had the overall picture of what needed to be done, ongoing and future projects etc, took care of some legal and tax matters and so on.

Carlos has one cousin who is studying to be a vet and taking side courses in some other important and relevant subject when it comes to owning a ranch and the plan all along was that she was gonna take it over at some point from Gabriel and Andrea but she is still in school and the sad truth is someone needs to take over the legal ownership and the tasks that Gabriel did until then or it will have to go up for sale. Legally the inheritance would go directly to Carlos and his sisters, and his sisters are ready to be co-owners and split the tasks until it’s ready to move on the family line. But they need Carlos to be with them on it, partly because he lives the closest and knows the ranch best because Gabriel took him there a lot when he was younger, partly because Tía Lucy has said that that is the only option (in order to force to Carlos to reckon with his past with Gabriel because she is a spiritual woman who knows stuff)

Because the thing is, Carlos’ childhood memories of the ranch are more ambiguous than his sisters’. He has fond memories of it but it also reminds him of a time where he didn’t feel like he could show his true self and be seen by his family, where he didn’t think that his dad was proud of him, and where he would look at all his family members bringing long terms and new partners and kids to lunch and parties and think that this is something he would never have for himself🥺

TK and Carlos are invited to an upcoming facility party on the ranch, and TK talks Carlos into going there a few days before under the pretense that he just thinks they both need a few vacation days and with suggestive comments about how badly he wants Carlos to take him horseback riding 🐴 and then ride Carlos in a field of blooming daffodils😏🌼 but really he suspects the truth about Carlos mixed feelings toward the ranch and thinks that Carlos would benefit from confronting and processing some of those feelings and memories, that also connects to his grief for Gabriel.

So they go, and everything above mentioned transpires, giving Carlos some good healing memories associated with the ranch + some Carlos grieving and reminiscing and processing and talking to TK about it all who listens and wipes at his tears and rubs his back and kisses his salty wet lips and his forehead (idk if this happens before or after TK rides him in a field of daffodils).

It all ends happily with Carlos agreeing to take temporary co-ownership over the ranch and having processed a lot of stuff related to his past and his relationship with Gabriel 😌😌

The forementioned list that I was originally writing before I remembered my Reyes Family Ranch wish continues beneath lol

It may be boring but I really want some domesticity!! I want to see them wake up together, or go to bed, or more about which tv shows they watch or if one of them keeps the other up reading romance novels or them fighting about the other always forgetting to take the trash out. I want a look into their routines!

I am also a sucker for tenderness and h/c like many people in this fandom, but controversially I don’t especially wish for one of them to end up in the hospital.. 🫣 like I mean I don’t not want it I’d just rather have them be tender with each other in everyday life scenarios like one of them have a tough day at work and be snuggled by the other, or have one help the other put clothes on or shower or get into bed because they got injured in some way, or Carlos being hungover and gross and feeling guilty about it bc TK’s sobriety or either of them being sick and gross or just grumpy or otherwise unreasonable and the other loving them and anyway and caring for them🥹

Apart from this I am also a huge sucker for open conversation about and realistic depictions of sexuality, so unrealistically as it may be, casual comments about the realities of gay s*x, embarrassing or awkward things happening like failing with trying something new (maybe in some silly episode where they get inspired by some call or something), them going through a dry spell or getting to comfy in a routine that isn’t as exciting as the beginning of their relationship, stuff like that!

And okay, lastly, I want them to have a conversation about Carlos buying the loft, not telling TK about about Iris for so long and lying about where he was going when he ended up at the Keyes house and how that probably all relates to his mechanism of defense and way to feel secure is to take control and go all solitaire because those things still nag at me and I need resolve.

This ended up so long omg I am so sorry but I can’t cut it bc I WANT IT ALLL😭

Thanks so much for the Nice Ask!!!!!!!☺️☺️

#nice ask week #wishes for s5 #long ramblings #Mar rambles #on and on #the Reyes family ranch #Tarlos

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altschmerzes · 8 months

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you've mentioned having other POVs coming up for wriggle up on dry land- would love to see any dani or sam pov snippets, if you've got em :eyes:

YES, i have some of a scene with sam i was working on earlier that i really love. i'll put most of it under a cut bc it's pretty long but i had a great time writing this and wanted to include like. the whole Section it was from.

Sam never used to be a morning person. It was always difficult to get himself out of bed, especially when he was small. His father had made up a song about it that he would sing when rousing Sam for the day. Ola would walk into his son’s room already singing it, quiet at first and then louder and louder the longer Sam insisted on burying his face in his pillow and refusing to acknowledge being awake. He’d always gotten up at the end, usually with a groaned insistence that his father stop embarrassing him because he’s up, he’s up, and there had been less complaining involved the older he got. It was easier to go along with once Sam understood the necessity of making use of what time the day afforded to him, especially with football and school and other things leaving him increasingly feeling like every moment of the day must be preciously guarded and budgeted appropriately.

Lately, though, his perspective on the earliest hours of the day has shifted significantly. Now, mornings are the one part of the day that belong only to Sam. He doesn’t struggle to greet them now, no matter how startling it is for his alarm to go off and how heavy his body feels as he lays in bed in the moments before rising. The resentment he had once felt with the relentlessness of the arrival of the new day and the necessity of getting up to participate in it is replaced with gratitude. When he first wakes, there are a few moments of listening to his alarm go off where Sam can almost hear the sound of Ola’s voice, singing the song he’d made up so many years ago. Mornings make him miss home, and his father in particular, with a fierceness that makes his chest ache, but he appreciates them for that. The homesickness hurts, the longing for the life he had loved so much and left behind to be here throbbing like his lungs are bruised, but the pain is a reminder of what is important to him and why. Not a day goes by that Sam doesn’t think of the things that are the most important to him, and he wouldn’t want to forget even if he could. The schedule of a Premier League footballer also makes praying on time complicated and difficult at points. This is especially the case when travelling for away matches against clubs whose facilities do not have a dedicated prayer room. Mornings though, the earliest parts of the morning before the sunrise, are Sam’s no matter what, and he holds them precious, going through the well-worn steps of Fajr alone in his house or a hotel room, always on time. He has developed an ever-growing fondness for the cold blue of the watery light that seeps across the horizon just before the sun rises, and for the way his mother always sends him a text when she had finished with her own prayers, every day without fail. There is no time difference between Lagos and London half of the year, and only one hour between them the other half. Although the exact time of the sun’s rising isn’t the same, it’s been a comfort to Sam never the less to think of his family and friends at home going about their lives in tandem with his, despite the difference separating them. When he kneels and presses his forehead to the fabric of the prayer mat the imam of his childhood mosque had presented him before he left, a gift from the community and a token of their pride in him, he imagines his mother and father alongside him doing the same. For those moments, it’s possible to believe that he never left.

#gav gab #jesperr-fahey #gav answers #fic: wriggle up on dry land #writing liveblog #ough sam....... i love sam #must be noted that i am not myself muslim so i hope i've done okay with that part but it's something abt sam that i think about a lot #and is a valuable part of his character in my mind #cribbed the song thing from something my great granddad used to do with my grandma’s brother apparently #he was notoriously hard to get out of bed

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bhaalsdeepbat · 4 months

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I've been thinking about Spawn Astarion vs Ascended Astarion power dynamic differences with the Durges I paired each ending with.

Mercy (Durge) and Spawn Astarion see each other as a whole. They recognize the darkness in each other, but don't let it cloud the vision of who they see. They're able to be their authentic self while also being vulnerable.

They can appreciate one another's edges, while also providing gentle comfort and support. Mercy can be a little feral and Astarion a little murder happy, but they accentuate their admiration of one another's prowess (and the love for each other totally, including the darkness in one another) and ferocity with equal amounts of gentle love and comfort.

For example:

Mercy holding someone for Astarion to drink fresh before they're killed. Mercy's claws against the bandit's throat, the tips pressing in, drawing beads of blood. Astarion sees them licking their lips, the corners twisting into a feral grin, all sharp teeth and monstrous. They're indulging some thoughts, because they don't have Urges, but they still have daydreams and anxieties. Their disinheritance and the revoking of their blood took away the leash of compulsion, but left intrusive thoughts in their wake. Most of the time fleeting, but still lingering there.

The ease with which Mercy holds back their own bloodlust, the way Mercy kinda looks like a predator, and the power just wafting off them. Astarion is super into it.

Mercy saw Astarion stalking in the shadows with ease, the stupid bandit had no idea what was coming. They stayed behind to wait for Astarion to sneak into position, and the Sorcerer is just IMPRESSED. Astarion is stalking and shoots an arrow off into his prey to subdue them, and Mercy is just reminded how strong he is with his bow. Like he is just a fucking creature of the night and they're super into it. They get a front row seat of Astarion getting to feed and Mercy's heart thrumbs in their ears with excitement when he makes a show of it for them. Mercy has never seen someone be so beautiful while murdering and they're just like yes please more.

Like so much of their intimacy involves moments of vulnerability and being able to feel safe when their defenses are down. Astarion doesn't have to try and peacock when he feels his weakness showing. He can just let himself feel whatever it is he feels - ashamed, pathetic, ravenous - in the moment and know he'll be just seen as himself.

But then after that they clean up and find their way back to their room before sunrise. Astarion hides under the covers nestled on top of Mercy's chest and they spend most nights with the softest of cuddles, gentle touches, never once going long without contact. Lots of chatting and teasing and just joyous interactions. They have nightmares and they coax one another into talking about said nightmares. It's just very trusting and loving. It would also be an equally giving relationship.

With Ascended Astarion, Ashe (also a Durge) and Astarion, they never had the vulnerable moments that built a strong foundation. It's actually quite easy to romance Astarion and miss some pivotal emotional moments where you peek behind the mask. They're two mean girls who were able to be honest, but not vulnerable, and neither challenged one another about their twisted view of the world.

The ability to be vulnerable with Astarion hinges on Durge willing to be open and vulnerable first. Ashe is duplicitous and would never make the first step, nor would she be willing to admit how afraid she truly is. She didn't get the act two scene because she killed Isobel, and she did it after Astarion confessed to her spontaneously after taking down a certain Orthon. It was the ONLY moment of true vulnerability their entire relationship bc again. She didn't get he "Kill Your Lover" night bc she didn't trust herself to not kill someone important to her.

All of this is to say: Ashe got a peek at the vulnerability once, then was back to manipulative Astarion. So, she helps him Ascend, and part of it is the Urges are strong, the bloodlust and threat of death driving her fucking feral, and she's afraid of what she might do to Astarion if he doesn't go after power at all cost.

Again, they didn't have any vulnerable outside the one confession. Ashe did NOT push back and instead enabled Astarion every step of their journey. She met his siblings and helped him deceive them (Mercy did NOT enable him and got a better peek at the version of himself Astarion desperately tries to hide).

So, she helps him Ascend. She doesn't even consider he may try to make her a spawn. Their entire journey has been about them both trying to slip the leash their masters have on them, but he knows what to say. They both were open enough for him to work Ashe like a fiddle and get her to cave to giving him her leash.

He is high off the power of the ascension and Ashe continues to do nothing to challenge him in any meaningful way. She hisses and pushes back on her own objectifation (and fails), but still sees her station as above everyone else.

Ashe and Ascended!Astarion are two monsters who see the world as being made for them to consume. They saw no kindness, no light, only a clear view of the taint in this world, illumated by the wash of Sun painting their days.

This would result in an enternal power struggle between the two. Astarion wants to be the most powerful being in the world and he is not going to share that with anyone. He's acutely aware of the cycle of undeath and eventually Vengeance they've entered, even if Ashe isn't.

He immediately hops onto being a manipulative shit. Traps Ashe, takes the leash, and turns her into his most prized pet and weapon. He wanted her, not out of love, but out of fear she might betray him one day.

Ashe saw a peek into the way their dynamic would play out the night he turned her. She wanted to see how much he changed and taunted him to be rough. When he shoved her down, there was no love, no kindness, just burning desire and a need to claim the conquest being laid before him.

Everything becomes about power and conquests at that point. Like he cannot help but be intoxicated by it all. The one person strong enough to help him destroy his abuser is now in his complete control. He starts laying out rules he plans to reinforce once the tadpoles are dealt with, but he dangles them like a treat, like they're something special, like his consort.

He spends this time trying to make Ashe feel like she's special, while also going on about his plans for a world that Ashe wouldn't even be able to enjoy. The human cattle enslaved, the sun gone, nothing but eternal night.

It would be all love bombing until the tadpoles are gone, then slowly taking more and more control while making Ashe think she wanted that. Her role as his consort is to be his protector and his blade, his most trusted weapon, his beloved slayer.

Ashe is a tiefling, so I think Ascended Astarion would also make awful comments on how demonic/monstrous she looks and comment on how she must be a pet if she wags that tail so stupidly anytime she thinks she might get a treat. He'd be verbally cruel, physically rough, but try to throw in some honeyed words of love and affection to keep Ashe pliable. He may have her under his thumb, but it IS easier to placate the pet.

And Astarion would drive a wedge between Ashe and the other spawn. I think he would bank on Ashe's loneliness to push her further toward him, so he is all she has. I think he would need to be her entire world tbh

Astarion sometimes disappears for days at a time, sucked into whatever conquest he's been working on, then come back and be intimate like there was no actual widening chasm between them. He gives Ashe EVERYTHING. Nice clothes, rare jewelry, expensive instruments. He does spoil his pet rotten, but all of that is undercut by his pointed cruelty when he wants to kinda enforce that he has all this power and there's nothing Ashe can do.

#bat rambles #bg3 #durge #dark urge #dark urge spoilers #mercy #ashe

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atopvisenyashill · 5 months

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How do you interpret the unkiss? Some say Sansa is in love with Sandor, others say she’s just coping with trauma, I think is a little bit of both tbh

It’s definitely several things. I think she longs for a romantic and emotional connection, and the Hound is a nice one on paper, in that he’s strong and can protect her and doesn’t care for the King. she compares herself to naerys and joffrey to aegon the unworthy, and wanted someone, anyone, to be her aemon the dragon knight. so the same way she overlooks dontos’ many flaws and warnings signs because she wants so badly to believe she’s going to get out of this mess and he will be her florian and she his jonquil, i think she does hope that sandor will be some sort of aemon and protect her from joffrey (even though, funny enough, aemon did fairly little to protect naerys from aegon so Sandor isn’t that far off, lmao!). not only that, but sandor all but says that to her.

I doubt he made the Aemon/Naerys/Aegon connection but he has made some sort of “princess needs a warrior to protect her from the king” sort of connection. Maybe he makes a Toyne-Bethany Bracken connection though, which is much closer to their actual dynamic (and I have kinda suspected the Bethany-Brothers Toyne thing is there at least in part to give us another Soiled Knight/Damsel story to echo here), which is why he tries (and fails) to escape KL with her. He can’t keep her safe in the capital but if they run away, he’s the baddest guy around and he can be her savior.

i don’t think sandor is doing this to purposefully manipulate her. i think his thoughts and feelings are sincere bc sansa reminds sandor of himself and his sister, and joffrey as akin to gregor. i think that’s why sandor is a little less loyal as the books go on - it’s easy to rationalize away joffrey’s behavior when he doesn’t care about the victims but all of a sudden when joffrey’s hair trigger temper is being taken out on two girls who remind him of himself and his sister, then, it’s too much to take, too much to think about his own role in enabling joffrey when sandor rages so much against those that enabled gregor.

but also - she’s a 12 year old hostage and this dude twice her age is heavy projecting onto her, and he’s the only person here who has ever even given a milqtoast defense of her, and he’s mean and scary looking and violent, and she doesn’t have much recourse if he decides to hurt her. she has very little power here, and sandor is incredibly erratic and not capable of taking care of her because he’s got a lot of demons to work through, up to and including his own sexualization of a barely pubescent little girl. This is simultaneously the only interpersonal relationship either has had in a long time that isn’t transactional and allows them to cope with trauma, a person who has seen and understands the worst days of their lives - and yet they know nothing about each other at all really! I think it’s a fascinating and moving take on courtly love and chivalric romance, but because it’s meant to analyze a lot of the social aspects of both their positions, it is in my opinion important to not lose sight of the fact that both of them are doing some heavy projecting here & are not in a frame of mind to actually heal or protect each other at all.

#asks #anons #i can’t tag this in any tag bc i’ll get hate mail people are so serious about this couple no matter what side they come down on #i’ll retag later #true knights #knighthood and oath keeping

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little-miss-vader · 7 months

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Hey Crow, do you have any writing tips.

I’m really good at writing for my English exams, I get top grades, but I struggle to write my own fanfiction, yk? I think one thing I struggle with is only focusing on dialogue. Writers in books will include the space, air, environment, the colour of the walls but idk how to write about the side stuff.

HIIII POOKIEEEE!!

my most honest answer is daydreaming. immerse yourself into your story, make it feel like yours. i’ve always had a vivid imagination and i can almost always hear, see, and almost smell my environment when i’m writing about it. take your time! sometimes writing comes in bursts, sometimes it comes in little waves. don’t rush it, build the world in your head and don’t ignore anything. it’s kind of like meditation in a way, you build this world in your head and kinda try your best tune deeply into it. it’s honestly helped me become more aware in real life and that in turn makes for even better writing cuz there is no inspo that is better than real life inspiration.

dialogue is harder to do though. read it in your head when you write it. can you imagine the conversation flowing the way you’ve written it between the two characters? think of their characteristics, how they’d respond to things is ALWAYS going to vary from character to character. this one’s a little bit like method acting, you have to kinda become them in your head. take on their personality for a moment. best way to do this is consuming any media that involves them or reminds you of them because you get a good feel for their actions and reactions. the one thing i find that ruins dialogue is when out of nowhere they have a completely uncharacteristic response to something. for example, ROTS anakin wouldn’t blush and stutter if he met you and you struck him as beautiful. he’d turn on the charm, toss you lopsided smile and ask you questions about yourself. AOTC anakin? he’d be a murmuring mess, just stumbling over himself and saying stupid shit without thinking.

once you get a feel for who you’re writing, it kinda sticks with you. it becomes like a second nature kinda thing.

LASTLY try not to over think it!!!!!!! over thinking dialogue will ruin a scene immediately, let it flow, make slight adjustments until it feels right. knowing when to stop tweaking something is important bc the first draft is almost always the most true to character thing you’ll write, it’s based off gut feelings and like straight vibes. tweaking it too much might kill the characteristics that make the character. (this one’s kinda circumstantial, you’ll know when you’ve over edited if you take a break and come back to proofread.)

all in all i think your writing is wonderful, what i get in my inbox from you is always a treat! it’s an art form, practice makes perfect.

granted, my entire high school life was about performing arts as i went to art school, so this kinda stuff was pretty much planted into my brain. it’s not easy and it takes a while for some people. don’t beat yourself up if you’re having trouble. take a breath and try again in a few hours. eat something, drink some water, maybe even take a nap. you need to be fuelled and replenished in order to use that noggin to write good stuff.

LOVE YALL SORRY THIS WAS A BIT OF A RAMBLE!

#crow chat #thank u for the ask!#anakinwarner

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suffarustuffaru · 1 year

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Which anime/games/film works do you like to choose to crossover with Re:zero? And which characters from these works do you think will get along well with Subaru and become good friends?

ooh……. these are some tricky questions… (complimentary)

i will say though that when i think of crossovers i do tend to prefer fandom fusions :o i like the idea of blending in the media im crossing over :o !! if youre interested in that sort of thing also, i made an umbrella academy-rezero fusion au fic with turacoverdin and ive made like T^T either shitposty or serious writing or art for several other fusion aus for the past two years… just bc i like the idea of placing rezero characters in like. different scenarios and studying them like bugs under a microscope HAH some other fusions ive done / daydreamed about include madoka magica, attack on titan, persona 5, also did some chainsaw man au doodles (unlike most people when they do chainsaw man aus i put emilia as denji and subaru as asa wodnsjs HEAR ME OUT OK—)… etc etc i suppose… also that one time i drew rezero characters as mario characters and tried way too hard on it—

anyway. as for what characters will get along with subaru—honestly i havent thought about it much so uhhh perhaps i will try right now!! :O i feel like characters like homura from madoka magica could be interesting… bc i feel like for him itd be like acquiring a new little sister bc she has her whole (apologies for madoka magica spoilers? HAH) time travel to save the girl she loves thing… homuras been through a lot and im 100% sure she and subaru will be able to relate to each other. homura kind of has that cold demeanor beatrice used to have too so YES new little sister acquired mayhaps!!!! and depending on how hes feeling he can cheer on her crimes or comfort her fr :,,))

on other hand i feel like throwing subaru at chainsaw man characters would be fucking hilarious… denji and power with subaru would probably get along like a house on fire…. subaru would probably react similar to aki in this situation. its the big brother figure in him kicking in again. that and power is like head empty and high energy and so is shaula so maybe subarud be like awww… 🥺 at her. shes gonna become like his new feral cat (affectionate). theyd probably have a similar dynamic to subaru with shaula (fond and exasperated). with denji i feel like theyd both be arguing all over the place bc theyre both Loud (literal) (metaphorical) and denjis moral compass is almost entirely just Must Save Animals!!! but like i feel like subaru would be fond of the guy and feel bad for him. im sure they can relate between. getting fucked over by Certain Women and subaru can help teach denji the importance of human connection!!! the latter of which would be important if subaru ever meets asa also T^T uhh minor part 2 spoilers but like yeah asas 1000% an incel and while shes not Literally a shut in she is Metaphorically a shut in and i feel like he could really relate to her and also Acquire Another Little Sibling yes this ask has turned into me saying subaru should get more little sibling figures but STILL i think subaru and asa are pretty similar and he’d have good advice for her!!!!!!!!

on the other hand though subaru would definitely pull an otto with pre-time skip armin attack on titan. armins a lot like otto and mikasas similar to rem so im sure subarud get along swimmingly and yell at them to have more self respect wodndnd. pre-time skip, early development eren tho???? subaru would knock him down Several pegs im sure erens Everything (his personality.) is gonna remind him a bit of himself also wkdnsns. that and hes def gonna be like “STOP. BEING A DICK TO MIKASA.” on the Other other hand subaru is gonna get his ass Particularly BEAT if you put him in the csm or aot verse. on the Other Other other hand, subaru is used to making friends while experiencing horrors so maybe he’ll be fine!! having rbd in csm and aot would probs be useful actually its just be total Hell the minute he gets caught up in anything 😭😭😭

anyway this is the most scuffed analysis from me, anon wodnsjs but i hope you enjoyed my answer!!!

#i really did try so hard on that rezero mario art HAH the coloring on it went so hard 🥰🥰#one day i will make csm and aot and madoka magica fanart!!#i love all three of those stories also <33 #anon if u havent seen them go watch if it seems up ur alley!!#OH SHIT I FORGOT TO SAY BUT UNDERTALE/DELTARUNE WOULD BE A FUN CROSSOVER TOO #and it is Considerably a kinder world compared to pmm and aot and csm if u ignore the bad routes widjdjd #ask

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kevcanwait · 7 months

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Kai Finds Something Down Under

This is my first actually detailed smut, be kind 😅

Topics: Blowjob (K and BC receive), I don’t know what else to put, pls let me know if there’s something specific I missed pls.

Kai woke up feeling great, ready to learn from others' lead.

He promptly gets out of bed as soon as his alarm goes off, quickly making his bed. He can't help but smile slightly as he places his WolfChan plush and Dweakki on his pillow before checking his phone.

He's already receiving messages from a few others and his new manager, who informed him that a car would be arriving outside his dorm to pick him up.

Locking his phone, he grins to himself, still not believing the fact he’s in a group, a big group nonetheless so he’s also a little bit nervous.

As he enters his bedroom, he puts his phone down on the soft bedspread and walks towards the closet. He wants to dress to impress, but comfort is just as important to him. After giving it some thought, he decides to go for a trendy yet effortless look. He picks a pair of stylish bleach-spotted ripped jeans and pairs them with his favorite blue tie-dye shirt. To stay warm in the chilly weather, he adds a cozy baby blue hoodie and layers it with a sleek leather jacket. He takes a final glance in the mirror and feels confident that he looks great in his well-coordinated outfit.

He finishes off his outfit with a pair of blue high-top sneakers adorned with red flower embroidery, adding a pop of color to his look. After hopping off his bed, he reaches for his trusty cross-body bag, which is adorned with a WolfChan keychain. He carefully places his phone, charging pack, chapstick, and other essentials inside, including a small pill container for emergencies and a couple of fidget rings. He also takes great care to include his lucky (G)-idle Soyeon photocard, which he never leaves behind.

As his mind drifts away, a familiar tune emanates from his phone, indicating an incoming message. He glances at the screen and notices that it's from his manager, who kindly reminds him that he's patiently waiting in the car parked downstairs.

As he emerged from his room, he couldn't help but question himself, "Did it really take me a whole hour to get ready?" He quickly brushed off his self-doubt, waved goodbye to his fellow trainee in the dorm, and made his way downstairs towards the van that would take him to his destination.

"Hello, sir," Kai greeted the older gentleman. "Hey Kai, how do you feel? You got out here awfully quick," the gentleman replied. "Uh, a bit jittery and excited. To be honest, I'm scared as well," Kai confessed. "You'll be great. You look good too. This outfit style fits you well," the gentleman complimented. Kai blushed slightly and scratched his cheek. "Thank you, sir," he replied.

As Kai sat next to the manager, he couldn't help but feel nervous. The manager noticed Kai's trembling hands and decided to strike up a conversation to ease his nerves. He made small talk about the weather, the office, and other trivial topics while maintaining eye contact with Kai. Despite his anxiety, Kai appreciated the manager's effort and began to relax as they chatted.

Upon arriving at the building, the manager places a reassuring hand on Kai's shoulder and guides him inside with a smile.

They took an elevator to a couple of floors up, and then stopped in front of a door. "We will be meeting together in the dorm. The four guys who live here should be back soon from the company. I'm going to get the other four boys, and then you can finally meet them. Are you okay with that?" He asked as he unlocked the door. Kai let out a shuddery breath.

"Um, yeah, meeting my idols and inspirations makes me a bit nervous, but I think I'll be okay," stuttered Kai. The manager smiled and patted his head reassuringly. "Don't worry, you'll be just fine. From what I've learned, you're just like them," he said with a nod before walking away.

Kai stepped hesitantly into the unlocked dorm and found it a bit messy, but not an eyesore.

He was instructed to wait, but being alone, he didn't know what to do with himself.

He sits awkwardly on the couch, panicking and holding his stomach, the nervous bubbles brewing inside making him sick, but he knows it's just anxiety and nervousness.

As he hears a thumping sound on the nearby wall, he jumps and turns towards it to ensure that he is just imagining things and there is no one present. He doesn't feel mentally and physically prepared to face any of them without the presence of the manager.

As he heard the sound again, he stood up slowly and cautiously walked to the end of the hall. He listened closely, wondering if the dorm wasn't empty and someone was present. His gut told him to ignore it, but he couldn't shake the feeling that one of the boys who lived there might need help. However, he didn't want to just barge into their room, and knocking felt awkward.

He reaches the center of the hallway and pauses, listening to a sound emanating from his left. He notices that one of the doors is ajar.

He knows he shouldn’t, but he can’t resist his curiosity, so he peeks through the slightly open door. The door opens to the right, revealing a wall and part of a closet.

Kai could hear two voices coming from inside the room, but he couldn't recognize who they were. He decided to ignore them and stay hidden. Suddenly, two figures appeared near the slightly open door, directly in front of Kai's sight. If they looked over, they would easily spot Kai.

He covered his mouth with his hand as his eyes widened and he trembled.

He now saw clearly that Bang Chan had pinned Lee Felix to the wall. Felix’s eyes were closed and his mouth opened wide as Chan was buried in the other's neck.

Kai observed the older male biting his neck and realized they weren't just kissing.

Kai was watching them fuck on the wall.

Kai blushed brightly and averted his gaze, moving away from the open door to stand against the wall. He kept his hand over his mouth, out of sight.

What the fuck just happened? Are they doing what he thinks he saw?

Felix was in the middle of a moan when he choked on a gasp as Chan bit him hard and stuttered, "Ah! H-Hyung, M-Manager-nim said he's bringing the..." Before he could finish, he was interrupted by a gasp. "T-The new guy here soon," he continued. Chan, who was listening patiently, replied, "Yes, that's exactly what he said. He mentioned that the new member would arrive shortly. So, let me finish what I started." it sounded like he was still kissing the younger's neck.

He stood still, gazing down at the floor in front of him, trembling but not taking a step.

Why are you not moving? You are not supposed to be here! You should not be listening to this!

Kai remained frozen as his eyes fixated on the keychain attached to his bag, the realization hitting him as hard as a bus.

Chan is fucking Felix…

Holy Shit, Chan is fucking Felix?!?!

His face turns red and he steps back in fear when the floor creaks beneath his feet.

“What was that?” He heard Felix whine, assuming Chan stopped moving.

“I don't know," he hears him mumble. Then he calls out, "Is someone there?

Kai's eyes were fixated on the rug lying in front of him. He felt a surge of panic rising within him and struggled to control his heavy breathing. His hand was still clasped over his mouth as if trying to hold back from making any noise. Despite his best efforts to calm down, his heart was pounding loudly in his chest, making it hard for him to think straight.

As he utters a shaky "Hello?", his body tenses up and his eyes dart around the room frantically. Gradually, he regains his composure and straightens up, taking a deep breath. A wave of relief washes over him as he realizes that Chan didn't peek out into the hallway to see him. His chest loosens up and he feels a sense of calm settling in.

He hears Felix release a muffled gasp. The dancer looking at Chan with wide eyes when he didn’t recognize the voice. “Who are you? When did you get here?”

To say the situation didn’t spur Chan on would be a lie as he moved slightly and Felix smacked him. “Uh… I-I’m MinLee Kai…Y-Your group's new member. U-Uh, Y-Your manager j-just dropped m-me off.”

A strangled moan melting into a gasp had Kai’s eyes widen. Are they still going? While I’m talking to them??

Chan smiled and dropped his head to Felix’s shoulder who wrapped his arms around the older male's neck tightly as spurts of cum get on both their abdomens and drip down his length.

Kai's voice trembled as he spoke, "A-Are you guys Okay?" His eyes darted around the room, searching for any signs of movement. He realized he had made a mistake by using the phrase "you guys" when Chan was the only one who had spoken so far. He felt his heart race as he asked, "How do you know if there's someone else here?" Panic set in, and Kai's mind raced as he contemplated his next move. He knew he was in trouble and he had no idea what to do next.

“Come here.” “W-What?” “You saw, didn’t you?” “S-Saw what? I-I just got here.”

In the middle of their conversation, they were suddenly interrupted by the sound of the front door creaking open. Startled, he immediately turned around to investigate and noticed that the door to the room the two were in had been shut. The suddenness of the interruption left Kai feeling awkward. Did Chan seriously ask him to join?

“Kai? Oh, there you are. What are you doing down there?” The manager asks as Kai watches the other guys walk in. “U-Um, s-sorry, I was curious of what the rest of-of the place looked. I-I’m sorry if I over stepped.” Kai stuttered heavily and he saw what looked like a look of sympathy from Jisung.

“It’s okay. Come, let’s sit on the couch, I couldn’t find Chan and Felix though, you boys know where they are?” They shake their heads as Kai sits on the other long portion of the couch with the manager.

Suddenly both of them walk out from down the hall and Kai looks up from his hands, making eye contact with Chan before lookin at his hands.

He could see his eyes were still glossed over with a strong emotion as he sat closest to Kai, they sat in age order and Kai’s nervousness grew tenfold. He’s sitting with his inspiration but he also just saw Chan and Felix.

His mouth suddenly became dry and his breathing picked up. He was overwhelmed, thinking of everything and nothing, he was scared.

Even though eye contact with him was weird, he looked at Chan who wore an expression of concern. “Are you okay?” he saw his lips move and looked around to see the others expressions.

“W-Where’s the bathroom?” The manager placed a hand on his shoulder and pointed across from them. Kai got up and ran to the bathroom, shutting the door closed and leaning against it before sinking to sit on his heels.

He’s panicking, freaking out, nothing is processing, he’s overwhelmed.

A knock cuts through his thoughts and he hears Jisung. “Kai?” He inhales shakily and chokes out a reply. “I think I know what you’re going through and I’m sorry.” “W-Why are you a-apologizing?” “I-I just feel bad that you got to this point. I don’t know exactly what got you this way but it’s okay. I heard you know us so you should know we won’t hurt you, you know that right?”

Yeah, they were his comfort, the people he watched when he had a bad day, a bad practice, they cheered him up.

He stood up and opened the door, wiping his eyes and being greeted by a smiling Jisung who slowly opens his arms.

Kai shyly walks into them and hugs him back. His thoughts slow down and he relaxes into Jisung’s shoulder where his head sat. “I never thought I’d get a hug from any of you in my life.” He chuckles softly as he pulls back.

He walks back to sit next to the manager again, he looks at Chan, freezing slightly before apologizing. A barely noticeable wink from Chan before he said it was okay had Kai internally jump in his skin. He knows Kai thought as they carried on with getting to know Kai more.

—-

After introductions and Kai learning more about the boys, learning more than Stays have ever known, they realize they talked well into the night.

Although they have drivers, they didn’t want Kai to go alone, already grown to liking the male. They’ve learned he’s older than Changbin but younger than Minho.

He goes to go to the front door with the manager when he’s stopped. “Do you want to stay in one of our dorms? You’re fun to be around and I wanna know more about you.” Jisung asked as he held his arm.

“It’s okay, Kai. Do you want me to get clothes from your roommate or?” “No, I’m fine with my hoodie and jeans.” “Nonsense, I have extra sweats.” “Oh, I-I don’t…” He went to turn to Chan but he was already back to his room.

“Have a good night. Good night boys.” Variations of ‘good night sir’ came from the others when Chan came back.

“I-I appreciate the sweats but…” “What’s wrong?” “I-It’s embarrassing…” “Embarrassing?” “I-I’m… commando…under these…th-that’s w-why I denied the clothes, I thought it was inappropriate so I was just gonna deal with the jeans since w-we just met a-and I just feel awkward…uh, not wearing anything…with your clothes…”

After Kai’s embarrassing rant, all Chan does is smile before lowering the waist band of his own pants. “Just so you know cause you’ll learn at some point, most of us are commando when we’re dressed for sleep.” “I-I…th-that’s crazy to know now but I just feel wrong.”

Kai goes to push the sweats back to Chan but he insists. “It’s okay, I promise.” He says again and the blonde watches Chan give him a stern look but shocks Chan when the older sees that it didn’t work. Is Kai like him?

“Fine…Only cause my zipper is sharp...” he mutters and takes the clothing to the bathroom.

He does his business and puts the sweat pants on, a little bit jittery that he’s wearing his biases clothing. Inside his fanboying so hard and he’s honestly so happy to be given this opportunity.

He leaves the bathroom, asking where he can put his jeans before Chan once again offers and takes them to the laundry room then comes back out with a pillow a blanket.

“If it’s okay, you can sleep on the couch. Thought it might be awkward to suggest rooming with one of us.” Kai smiles and takes both objects and sets them next to him. “Thank you.”

Chan sat on his other side and stayed there. Even as the other members left for their rooms or the Maknae’s and Minho went to their dorm to go to bed.

Kai had laid down at some point with the pillow he was given and dozed off to a video on his phone.

He could still hear the tv and other noises as he imagined things in the void behind his eyelids.

His small dreams were interrupted when he heard whispering. “H-Hyung- Chan, No, he’s right there.” When did Felix come back? What were they doing?

“I swear he was there earlier with us, the only difference is that he’s next to us.” Chan said as he continued to kiss Felix’s neck and bring him closer. “That’s the problem. He shouldn’t know about us.” Us? Is it just them or all of them?

“He’ll find out eventually. Some of us can’t go five hours without needing some stimulation.” Chan mutters into the dancers neck. “Wanna know something?” “What now?” “Kai told me that he was commando under his jeans.” “Okay, and?” “He’s currently only wearing my sweats.” Chan smirks as he finally gets Felix in his lap and kisses his cheek.

“Really?” He asked curiously. “Yeah, why don’t you see for yourself.” “What?!” He whispered, staring at Chan in shock that he’d even suggest it. “Chan, you crazy?! He just got here.” Kai moves to lay on his back. He’s yelling at himself for even thinking about moving but honestly the thought has crossed his mind, I mean, come on…

Stray Kids is fucking attractive.

“Aw, look. He’s presenting himself.” “Cunt, he’s moving to get more comfortable. He’s asleep, idiot.” “Come on, Lix.” Chan kissed his cheek, his hands rubbing up his sides softly when footsteps were heard and Jisung appears, a little groggy. “If you do anything, be as quiet as possible.” “Of course, Sungie.” Chan says with a smile and the rapper nods, not completely coherent as he goes back to his room.

Jisung knows what’s going on?

He suddenly has the urge to jerk when he feels a hand at the hem of his hoodie and it gets raised up. Light fingers graze his toned stomach before going to his waistband. “That’s it, Lix.”

Felix huffs and gets off his lap, shoving him away as he giggles and watches the boy settle at a better angle to sit on his heels and hesitantly pull down the waist band and expose Kai who resisted the urge to react and continue to act asleep.

“H-He’s already half hard…” Felix mutters and reaches his finger up to drag it from the tip to the base, his dick twitching slightly.

“Go on, Felix. Have fun with the newbie.” Chan said in a smooth casual tone as he leaned back and watched him wrap a hand around Kai from over Felix’s shoulder and the younger took the head into his mouth, swirling his tongue around the tip before going over the slit and back to licking.

“That’s it, good Lixie.” Chan praised and got up behind Felix. Felix pulled off the tip and looked at his hand. “Shit, he’s big.” “How big?” “M-More than…all of us…Fuck.” “Really?” Chan asked shocked as he combed his hand through Felix’s hair.

Kai’s breath hitched when Felix went back on and further then his tip, trying to fit as much as he could. “Aw, look.” Felix didn’t pull off but looked up to see Kai’s chest rising and falling rapidly. Felix exhaled slowly through his nose before slowly sinking further down, a triumphant whine mixed with a moan escaping him when he managed to take all of Kai in and his nose reached his pelvis.

“Good Job, Lixie. Who would’ve thought you could still take a new cock.” He hums and rubs against the couch below him.

Felix adjusted a bit before finally moving his head up and down. Kai tried to be faking sleep a little longer before he let out a breathy grunt and opened his eyes, looking down at Felix before looking at Chan who smirked. “Look who’s awake.” “F-Fuck.” He sighs and puts his head back on the pillow. His hands twitching next to him before his right hand was grabbed by Chan and placed on Felix’s head.

“It’s okay.” Chan reassured and Kai pants slightly, staring at Chan for a moment before grunting, slowly moving to lean back on his left elbow and grip the dancers hair after combing his fingers though it to grab the long stands a pull him closer.

“Fuck…ing hell…I-I don’t know w-what’s ha-happening but a-as a fan, I-I’m freaking out, ah shit!” Felix has his eyes closed, enjoying the cock resting heavily on his tongue as he licks a vein before moving to the slit. “Why’s that?” Chan smirks as he moves Felix to his knees and removes his shorts before removing his own sweats.

“M-My b-bias wrecker is…” He’s cut off with a whine before he grips Felix’s hair tighter, pulling him impossibly closer. “Fuuck~ swallowing my dick, how else am I-I supposed to react?” He pants and almost falls backwards off his arm when Felix digs his nails into Kai’s legs, constricting his throat which squeezes around his tip.

“Who’s your bias?” Kai smirks, he voice suddenly a stark smoothness as he holds Felix’s head down and his eyes stare directly into Chan’s eyes. “Looks like he’s about to fuck the wrecker.”

Chan laughs and enters Felix, leaning over him and pushing his back down. “Usually your place is taken by one of the others but look at his throat.” Chan wraps a hand around Felix’s neck and can feel it bulging, his comment going unheard by Kai as he exhales sharply and throws his head back. “I can feel you through it.” He squeezes his neck slightly and Chan groans, feeling Kai’s dick a little more from the outside and the male can feel the squeeze on his end too.

“I-Is he the only one?” Kai asked and Felix was feeling dizzy. “Shit.” Felix whines and tightened his throat. “Does he always act like this when he’s ignored?” “Yeah, but someday you should feel how he reacts from this end. Maybe even tonight.” Kai moans quietly and throws his head back again. “And no, if you like his, just wait for Hyunjin’s.”

“Oh fuck.” Kai whimpers loudly over Chan speaking and holds Felix’s head from bobbing and shoots down his throat. “Take it, Lix. Don’t stop.” Chan said as he himself went faster, hitting all the right spots in Felix as he pulled off of Kai and rested his cheek on his thigh. “Ah~ Ah~ H-Hyung, G-Gonna- ngh~ Please, I wanna c-cum please.” Kai thought he was just asking in general before Chan gripped his hair and made Felix look at Kai.

His eyes were filled with tears and his face flushed red, Kai always thought his freckles were cute but add the lewd look on his face, his tongue hanging out and saliva all over his mouth almost had Kai wanting to cum again. “I don’t know, Kai. Should he cum?” Kai looked back up to the older male with a shocked expression. “You go dom, right?” He grinned and stopped thrusting into Felix who whines. “P-Please~ K-Kai…” Felix begs breathlessly and Kai can’t take it.

“Fuck…No, I kinda wanna see how long he can go.” Chan smiles and pulls out of Felix who whines, it almost sounding like he’d start crying. “No…” He weakly protests, in this state, Kai finds his accent even more attractive.

“Wanna know more about Lixie?” Kai thoughtlessly nods and Chan reached forward, a hand going to the front of his neck as he pulls him up to sit back on Chan lap. Kai has to be dreaming, there’s no way in hell that his favorite members of his favorite group are currently in front of him, Chan holding Felix up by his neck, both half naked, with Chan’s free hand resting on Felix’s hip and Felix’s hands were clinging to Chan’s wrists.

“Hell, never thought I’d be in this position.” Felix stayed staring at the ceiling while catching his breath, leaning his head back against the closest part of Chan near him which was his shoulder. “Like it?” “U-Uh, Y-yeah…Yeah, I actually do…” Kai panted and laid back down for a moment as his chest slowed down to a less rapid speed.

“Kai.” Chan muttered and the blonde looked up, moving back to one of his elbows as he pushes a hand through his hair. “Huh?” “Lix, why don’t you be a good kitty and ride Kai?” Chan whispered loud enough and Kai watched Felix shudder with a breathless moan.

Chan takes Kai’s hand a places it where his hand was, leaving Kai in charge of Felix now. Kai turns his wrist, making Felix follow as he sat up and had Felix sit with his back facing him. “Wow, you seem like a natural.” “A-Actually, I-I’m new to being a dom…none of my o-old partners were into it, although it was just two.”

“Well, you’re good. Got him in that position faster than i’ve ever seen.” “H-Hyungs~” Felix whines and Chan smirks. “Go ahead, Kai.” He said giddily as he stood up and moved in front of Felix. Kai rubbed the smaller males hips before guiding his tip to Felix’s hole before pulling him down slowly. “Put it all in, he can take it.” Chan said before noticing his hesitance and pushing on Felix’s shoulders to make him sink all the way down in one move. “Shit, Kai is so big~ Ah~”

Felix leaned back against Kai with a content sigh and laced his hands with Kai’s to bring his arms to wrap around him. “Lix, I know you are trying to get comfortable but I want your mouth, lean forward again.” He huffs and throws his head back against Kai’s shoulder before letting go of his arms slight before leaning forward and looking up at Chan. “Cun- mm!” Felix was about to cuss at him when suddenly Chan shut him up with his cock. “You and that word, I swear.” Chan said through gritted teeth and clenched his fist in Felix’s hair when he playful bit him slightly. “D-Did he just-“ “Bite me? Yeah, he’s a twerp.” Chan replied and started using his throat.

Felix moved his hands to rest on Kai’s thighs that are between his own spread legs and gripped them, he was told to ride, so he will.

At first he rocked back and forth, feeling as yet another dick shaped him and stuffed him full. Chan was about to remind Felix when Kai beat him to the reins. “I thought Chan-Hyung said to ride me?” He said as he grabbed Felix’s hips and started thrusting right into the sensitive numb inside him that made him see stars.

His moans where interrupted with every thrust from both ends. Kai grabs his arms to pull them behind him as leverage for each thrust he’d pull Felix closer, going impossibly deeper. Suddenly he’s being pushed further down onto Kai and the cock in his throat goes deeper as Chan leaned over him, surprising Kai when he looks up from watching Felix bounce and his dick disapearing each time to suddenly be kissing Chan.

They don’t fight one another, their power equal as they make out and the both of them swallow each others noises when Kai yelps in shock and pulls away to look down when Felix stopped bouncing and Kai’s cock was all the way inside him, Felix clenched at being ignored and treated like nothing but a fuck thing apparently as he too came and tried his hardest to keep moving for Chan to finally release down his throat.

Felix pulls off of Chan and also most falls forward before Kai noticed, letting go of his arms to wrap an arm around his chest and around his stomach to pull him back and onto his chest.

“Felix?” Kai looked over him, his eyes were fluttering and soft moans escaped him as his hips rocked back and forth. “Ah, don’t- Hey…” Kai stutters, suddenly sensitive as he watched Chan lean closer to Felix.

“Lixie, bubby, come back.” Chan gently moves Felix to close his legs, Kai spreading his so Felix’s legs could sit comfortably between them as they pulled Felix back to reality.

Kai rubbed gentle circles onto the males abs and stomach under Felix’s soiled shirt, his thumb of his other hand moved back and forth softly over his collarbone. “Lixie, you there? You know where you are?” He closes his eyes and inhales deeply before practically melting back into Kai and releases a moan before panting.

“F-Felix?” Kai asks and he hums, turning his head into Kai’s neck. “Where are you?” “H-Home…” “You know who your with?” “Chan and Kai-Hyung…” He says breathlessly as he whines and tried to cuddle closer to Kai before he whines when he moves wrong, Kai still nestled inside him.

“Can I touch you, Kai? To help?” Chan asked and Kai deadpans. “Are you really asking that?” “Touché.” He said as Kai helped lift Felix and Chan slowly helped Kai out of Felix.

“Hold on.” Chan said suddenly when just his tip remains and he grabs his underwear and runs to his room, returning immediately after with a plug and removing Kai completely only to replace him with the plug as Felix whines and finally was able to freely move to curl into Kai’s chest while he looks at Chan with a questioning look he didn’t know he was giving. “He likes to be full.” He said casually.

“I know you were told that you could take the couch but you can go to Felix’s room if you’d like. Seems like he’s gonna cling to you tonight.” Chan smiles and helps to gently put Felix’s underwear back on and replace his messy shirt with his hoodie.

Kai tried to stand Felix up to dress himself as well but his legs were weak as he immediately fell into Chan’s arms who smiled and kissed the top of his head while Kai got his sweats back on.

Kai took the younger from Chan and picked him up, situating his legs around him and he was about to leave when Chan put a hand on his shoulder and turned him around to kiss him again deeply, playfully biting his lip before laughing and smiling at Kai as he walks next door to the other dorm, Felix burrowing further into Kai’s neck at the cold hallway and tightening his arms around his neck and whining out incoherent words.

Surprisingly, the other dorm is unlocked and his concern was answered when he saw Minho on the couch. “Finally, I can go to sleep without leaving the door unlocked.” He mutter but smiles at Felix in Kai’s arms. “He okay?” “Yeah. Exhausted but he’s okay.” “Why was the door open and your out here?” “I knew Felix hadn’t come back yet and whenever he’s over there, one of them bring him back. Didn’t know it was gonna be you though.” He’s making it sound like Felix just fell asleep at the other dorm. Is it just Felix and Chan? Do the others not know?

“I’m gonna go put him in his room. Goodnight, Minho.” “Goodnight, Kai.”

He follows Minho to the bedrooms and turns into the room Minho pointed to and he heart flutters when he sees Felix’s room is almost exactly how he pictured it to be. He walks over to the bed and moved the blanket to put Felix under them but he holds onto the other. “Stay…” He mumbles softly. “I am a stay.” Kai chuckles but moves to lay with him nonetheless as Felix whines and pulls him closer, grumbling at the cheesy joke before clinging to Kai.

He has no idea what just happened and how he got to this point but he’s surprisingly not surprised. He’s a bit prideful that he’s the only Stay the got to seem them like that.

—-

Holy Shit, He fucked Felix and Kissed Chan…and saw them naked…Damn…

Yay, First One with the members done. Honestly really proud, i’ve never written such detailed smut before. I hope you like it.

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sunkcost · 2 years

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Do you consider the dvd extra where saul gives jesse the gun to defend himself from walt canon?

i guess it depends on what you mean by canon. i typically i don’t consider something to be canon if it's not in the show itself. i wouldn't make an argument and use a deleted scene as evidence, because ultimately it wasn't included and i have to assume that was for a reason. they decided it wasn't necessary for what they wanted to convey or it didn't work for whatever reason, so i can't view it the same way i would a scene that made the final cut. i tend to feel the same way about stuff mentioned in interviews. but if you're asking if i personally find it relevant to my read of the story, then the answer is yes dlkafjskl.

i think they began giving saul more layers in s5 but they were obviously still barely starting to develop what would become the actual character of jimmy mcgill, so i would venture there was likely some uncertainty about the direction they wanted to take him. that said, i find the scene to be really consistent with how i see his character. like i said in my last post, he clearly targeted walt because of his personality type. i think the additional scene from the "breaking bad" episode of bcs makes that pretty clear by having him witness his interactions with jesse before telling us that he was the one to really pursue walt. that's not to say i think he felt he was doing anything altruistic by it. he's lashing out, and he knew people would get hurt as a result, but i do think the target was always walt in particular. it was a desire to drag the guy further down into the dirt, but i think a not insignificant portion was also wanting to be treated like shit. i agree with that interview bob gave where he said jimmy was drawn to walt because he reminded jimmy of chuck. i think then that maybe a part of that was about wanting to destroy this chuck figure and drag him down to his level. however, "saul" is also the chuck’s image of jimmy (or at the very least, how jimmy believes chuck saw him) taken to the extreme, and so it makes sense he would also seek out a 'chuck' figure to constantly belittle him for it. knowing him, the first rationale was probably conscious and the second was not, but was the strongest motivating factor in actuality. at the same time, like i said, i think he also had real empathy for characters like skyler and jesse, and i think he was also aware, at least on some level, that he was enabling walt’s treatment of them.

saul in s5 feels closest to jimmy for me, and i think it's because he was at his most exhausted and afraid. the fact that he unknowingly participated in poisoning and near murder of a child was a real tipping point, and were he a more important character in breaking bad we'd have seen more of the psychological aftermath of that. as it is, the scene in the first episode of the season where he tells walt that they're done because the brock incident crossed a line, and walt makes clear that it isn’t his choice, establishes where he stands at this point pretty well. that's when it becomes apparent that he's completely lost control of the situation. innocent people are getting hurt because of him, not just in an abstract sense, but in an immediate sense as well, and this on top of the fact that his own safety is constantly in question. with that in mind, i find that jesse scene to be extremely plausible. it was starting to become very clear that this man was an extremely dangerous and unpredictable individual, and it seems to me that jimmy was beginning to feel an increasing sense of responsibility for his role in facilitating that, enough to start sticking his neck out just a little bit more than he had previously.

i can definitely imagine they were debating exactly how sympathetic and human they wanted to make him at that point, however, knowing jimmy as we do now i find it completely believable that he would be compelled to do something to feel that he’d at least tried to help jesse. i think the whole idea behind “saul” was kind of ‘i’m a terrible person and i deserve to feel like a terrible person and be remembered as a terrible person’, but then it started to reach a point where the person he was pretending to be was too much for him to keep up with. he was scared enough and uncertain enough that his grip on the saul act started slipping, and you started seeing jimmy come through every once in a while, like he couldn’t stop himself. i don’t think it was voluntary. i don’t know if he was even conscious of it a lot of the time. it’s almost like he’s dropping an accent. he’s too overwhelmed to remember to put up the act all the way, or else he just doesn’t have the energy to get to 100%. i want to think the scene happened, if not just because i think it’s such a fascinating character angle. this idea that he wants to be hated, and then does legitimately bad things to that end, and how there’s this question of ‘does it make a difference why he’s doing it if the actions are the same,’ and i have to think it does because of scenes like this, and because of where he ends up. when the chips are down, when he gets the chance to prove he’s really this soulless empty husk, he flinches. every time he flinches.

#answered #anonymous #also ''see you around young man'' makes me upset ldkjafkls #better call saul #breaking bad

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sodalitefully · 2 years

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okay, i'm super intrigued - what's your beef with matt sorum?

I never really liked his vibe, but I was pretty indifferent to him until his autobiography came out. The official version was published this year, which reminded me that an earlier version was leaked online in 2019 or so, so I tracked down that version and read parts of it, and he just comes across horribly.

He seems to have an abundance of self-importance and a shortage of self-awareness, and he's clearly resentful about not being included in the gnr reunion. He's also pretty shameless about his sleazy behavior with women, while he was in both gnr and velvet revolver.

I also just don't like the way he wrote about his bandmates. Slash and Duff in particular: whenever Matt writes about them he sounds judgemental, he was determined to characterize Duff as spineless, Slash as emotionless and self-serving.

I'm sure it served his "woe is me I'm the real gnr drummer I should be back in the band" narrative to characterize them that way – he didn;t get left out because of his ability/personality, it's because his friends betrayed him, right?

Anyway, after reading about Matt Sorum in his own words, I've concluded he's a dick. I put some screenshots under the cut that kinda show what I mean (mostly about Slash bc... you know me).

Matt is judgy about S&D being passive/non-confrontational. He brags about how he tried to confront Axl when they wouldn't, but it didn't really amount to anything in the end.

Regarding royalties/finances. Honestly I think this is an interesting bit of insight to Slash's character, but clearly Matt didn't mean it in a complimentary way.

Matt keeps harping on this Slash/money thing. God forbid someone in this band is sensible about money.

More about money, also he's bothered by Slash playing with other people for some reason?? I don't even know where to start with that. It's also interesting that he's so sympathetic in his characterization of Axl, considering their history of not getting along. I think he would have written this book very differently pre-2016...

Regarding the name "Slash's Snakepit." You could argue about who was in the right here, but Matt's 'this is the real Slash' thing strikes me as overdramatic.

A bit of Matt's sleazy shit, he goes on to explain how he imparted his wisdom on S&D, taught them how to bring their pick of girls backstage. He describes something similar in VR too, but he throws his wife under the bus. Interesting how Matt will be judgmental of their lifestyle one minute (usually about alcohol), then bragging about being 'better' with women than them the next.

This one's my favorite. Scott Weiland shows up to an important event late and high, Slash is pissed. You don't get to see Slash angry too often. It really couldn't be more obvious in Matt's description that Slash is upset, but of course he still has to make a snarky comment about Slash 'not showing feelings.'

This is pretty much how he characterizes Duff post-reunion. Matt seems to think that Duff wanted him in gnr, but wouldn't stand up to Axl about it. Possible, but patronizing to act like Duff can't make up his own mind. And personally I wouldn't be too surprised if S&D were done with Matt after VR.

And then this. 🤷🏻‍♀️ (edit: he has since recorded & released a track with slash and duff on it)

Look, I'm not normally one to get all defensive over rock stars, I don't know their lives. But Matt's bias and motive are pretty clear, in my opinion, and he also just grates on me personally. I didn't take any screenshots about how he characterizes himself, but he has the vibe of the guy who thinks he can get away with saying anything because 'being brutally honest is just how he is,' an expressive extrovert who makes no effort understand that some people (cough slash and duff) don't work the same way he does.

So thanks for giving me an excuse to rant about it lol. And if any of you want to know more about his book, lmk and I can def help you out or answer questions

Oh also, I haven't read the official published version of his book, but I'm under the impression that it's more toned down. So take that as you will.

#matt sorum #my stuff #reply

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magicshopaholic · 10 months

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hey!!! just wanted to say how much i love your new update!

tbh, i understand that what taehyung did was wrong. even if he didnt mean to hurt her, he did very deeply by keeping it from her, bc as she said they revealed so much to each other even on the first day they met. that feeling is devastating.

however, my feelings are really conflicted on if the way shes handling it is right either. im never one to condone cheating, but even she admits that shes keenly aware of how genuinely sorry he is—and that she knows he would never do that again. her pain is valid asf, bc he shouldve known better to try to harbor that secret, alongside his friends. that was beyond foul and I can imagine how lonely, confused and absolutely devastated she was during that period. but it also doesnt mean she gets a free pass to inflict pain on him for the sake of punishment or revenge. and at this point in the story, it been going on for a while now.

i think she needs to really self-reflect on if she can get pass this and build up a trust in him again—cause thats a main determining factor of the possibility of them reuniting. otherwise, its a moot point bc it’ll always be the unspoken elephant in the room. its confusing to constantly point the finger at someone for rupturing a relationship, demand they give you space and then get pissed that theyre giving you space. she pushes him away, gets upset that hes respecting her boundaries and then yanks him closer.

he needs to really unpack why he allowed himself to do what he did and why his fear of losing her(even when he already had her) drove him to that point. you cant betray and ignore someone and then say you did it bc you were scared of losing them.

i know theyre just flawed humans, & theres so many layers of complexity w/ these two—especially in regard to taehyung showing his feelings. but i truly think he’s reached a breaking point. it scared her so much that hes starting to become distant, because she already expected him to fight tooth and nail for who knows how long.

they both really need therapy to work through it together(and individually bc they both have issues that may rock their relationship again if it goes unaddressed), or to let each other go completely and move on. bc at this point, theyre both hurting just each other.

I didn't respond to this immediately because I wanted to sit and take my time without any distractions. Firstly - thank you! Always nice to know that a fic has been enjoyed :)

Secondly, I think you make some very good points, including an important one that Dilara isn't perfect either. Not everything she's doing is right - or, at the very least, is the best way to go about it. Wanting to torture him is natural and that's probably why everyone's giving her a pass, but there's definitely a line and that line can be different for everyone.

You actually aren't the only one to catch this: Jimin has been dropping hints about how Taehyung is getting worse, Jungkook reminds her of something she almost did once upon a time, and even Chris, despite being angry on her behalf, acknowledges just how helpless Taehyung must be feeling.

Trusting him again really is the crux of the issue. The time for grovelling seems to have passed, like you said, and that's even scarier because now she has to get beyond the anger and look forward. That's really the only decision she needs to make: whether she trusts him or not. It can be a polarizing decision, but that's the point of writing real, human, flawed characters.

You could be right in that he's reached a breaking point - and she can tell. This thing you said:

it scared her so much that hes starting to become distant, because she already expected him to fight tooth and nail for who knows how long.

This is literally it. This is the whole fic (minus Jungkook) because as long as he was fighting, she didn't have to. Now that he's stopped, it's suddenly down to her and that's too difficult to face. But she needs to at some point or things will just end up going downhill from here.

I don't know about therapy - not because I don't think they need it, but because they don't think they need it. I think in general, both of them have a tendency to romanticise their relationship (Tae a little more, as we've seen) and each other, so the thought of involving a third person would seem a little pointless to them, sort of in a they would never understand kind of way.

Thank you sooo much for this review; it's so nice whenever readers put forward their own interpretations of my fics. I love writing human characters and that will mean that they will do things not everyone will agree with and seeing how that plays out with readers is such a pleasure.

#glad you enjoyed it #the next part will be out soon!#notes🍷#taehyung x dilara #the best reviews

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andoqin · 2 years

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Heroes

Well, I’ve finally got some time off and I finally started Heroes.

Caps incoming bc ohhh this show is gorgeous and at least for ep 1 the writing is snappy, the symbolism palpable and the action and mood remind me of the best Wuxia classics.

We start out our story with a storyteller singing a song at night and a somewhat bedraggled looking Wang XiaoShi walking past, remarking that the song includes people he knows very well and that he is on his way to bury the most important person to him (contained within a black box he has fastened to his horse). They remark they met some 10 years ago and already I like the set up, bc I like stories within stories (well sorta, it’s not explicitly framed as such) and we go back 10 years when WXS was but a bright eyed and bushy tailed strapping young lad on his way to make his mark in the JiangHu.

Because this show is not subtle with its narrative set ups he is now charged with carrying a white jade box, the McGuffin that will bring us through the first episode.

WXS looks innocent enough but as the episode reveals he’s as deadly a fighter as anyone if the need calls for it, so him being sent off to deliver a message that might ~overturn the JiangHu at least feels somewhat deserved.

Along the way he meets two new friends:

A pretty girl named Wen Rou, who knows how to make an entrance and

Bai Choufei (as we later find out his name is). I can already tell he’s going to be a Problematic (tm) fav, he’s got ambition and skill out of the wazoo and his broad shoulders are barly capable of holding on to the chip he’s keeping there when it comes to becoming famous.

Tavern shenanigans happen, as they must and mmmm the show really knows how to set up the wuxia mood.

This dude is a whole ass mood bc he’s got like the single braincell amongst the mob characters

More McGuffin related shenanigans happen and our main characters are in equal parts cute, hot and competent, although Wen Rou is not as competent a fighter as the other two guys, but she’s not without resources.

She is also ridiculously pretty and I cant wait to see the actress in Seven Lifetimes Love or whatever the english name is.

She also has no concept of personal boundaries, which is not sth that WXS seems to mind too much hahaha.

Thankfully BCF and WXS decide to be on the same side and then we get an incredible sequence with great visuals, editing and some neat wuxia fighting on top.

Honestly these caps barely do it justice because the scene is underlaid with a great sweeping acoustic OST.

Afterwards BCF and WXS go back to the (wrecked) tavern and BCF tells WXS he should ENTRUST HIMSELF to BCF which not being me he doesn’t jump at the chance to but WR also basically calls dibs on WXS hahaha.

Then some more SYMBOLISM happens (Lei Chun - the woman who basically organised the town massacre for the McGuffin loses her faceveil while looking at the sea, BCF catches it for one second before it’s blown away by the wind) and then our intrepid little trio makes the journey to the capital so WXS can fulfill his quest.

Meng Ziyi is also ridiculously pretty!

This is here because it always amuses me to think of the minutes when they’re crawling up/down these rocks to get to that place, must look so undignified lmao.

on their way they meet - of couse - the storyteller and WR tells him her two companions are gonna be FAMOUS some day and i’m sure she’s right.

#heroes #说英雄谁是英雄 #cdrama

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s-b-party · 1 year

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Vultur Volans: Alhaitham and the Flying Vulture

****Possible spoilers ahead!!! (TW: there is one pic of a vulture covered in blood)

Our “feeble scholar”, Alhaitham, is someone who prefers to be away from the eyes of others not because he cares about how others perceive him but because he would prefer to not interact with others (that’s so relatable😭)

Volans means flying/soaring & Vultur is a generic translation for vultures, but not many vultures today have it as part of their scientific name; the reason for this is bc the word vulture is used to refer to a group of raptors that look similar & share a common trait: they feed on carrion

So why is his constellation the vulture, a creature that tends to stand out in the skies or whenever it’s feeding, when he himself is often hard to find?

Normally the first thing we think of when we think of a vulture is “a bird of prey that is an intimidating scavenger,” but there is a lot more to it than just how we perceive it (TW: blood on vulture in 2nd photo)

Vultures are intelligent creatures & can be quite wholesome when we look at the way they look after their own family

Like other birds, they will digest food first to regurgitate back into their chicks’ mouths so that their offspring can get the nutrition they need; interestingly, this includes bones which are an important source of calcium (listen, I think they’re wholesome even with this regurgitating behavior, you can’t change my mind 😂)

They are usually social animals that live in groups although few may choose to be solitary

Now that I’ve gotten the wholesome agenda out, let’s look at the symbolism associated with vultures; although they are usually associated with death, there are a LOT of meanings attached to vultures, both positive & negative, so I’m going to focus on the ones that I think can be strongly connected to Alhaitham & his lore: motherhood & intelligence

Intelligence is the easiest out of the two to see in his lore, but motherhood is probably the last thing you would think of as a concept present in Alhaitham’s lore at first glance, but I think we should take a closer look at his childhood & how he was raised since it would eventually lead to him becoming the person he is today (motherhood is present essentially in the entirety of his Character Story 5)

He had a grandmother who raised him after the death of his parents. His grandmother had essentially become the mother figure in his life who clearly loved him & understood him. She knew that Alhaitham was incredibly smart even for a child, reading difficult works at the age of seven

She opted to have him start school early, but when he came back telling her that everybody was boring & that he preferred reading books over listening to others lecture, she agreed to let him be self-taught rather than forcing him to attend school

This reminds me of those situations where students sometimes become depressed because they’re not getting the intellectual stimulation needed when they are forced to learn at the same pace as those who are struggling to understand or are new to learning the topics (it might not be the same exact situation but it could speak to him not enjoying his time at school)

Some might wonder “Wouldn’t his self-taught education have negatively affected his social skills since he most likely saw others at the Akademiya boring and thus avoided interacting with them?”

The thing is when it comes to his social skills, there are a number of factors to consider: he knows that everybody has different strengths & weaknesses in various aspects (intelligence, work capability, judgement, etc.) & he knows that he is very different from them, so he already understands that his interactions w/ “ordinary” people are not going to be quite fulfilling; we have to keep in mind that he was VERY young (7 years old) when he was reading about topics that probably many children wouldn’t have understood at that point

I think it goes back to the idea of needing proper intellectual stimulation so that could explain why he called those people “boring” & why he didn’t really vibe with the lectures from that day

We know that he avoids interacting with others, it’s not that he’s incapable, it’s because he doesn’t think such interactions are quite necessary; if it is necessary for him to interact w/ somebody (like in the archon quest w/ the traveler), then yes, he will make an appearance & interact, but otherwise, you’re not going to have much luck w/ him

A subtle factor to consider that could further explain his attitude towards socializing with others is the environment of Sumeru itself when the Akasha was still running

Up until the point when the Akasha was shut down by Nahida, many of the citizens took everything that the Akasha ever told them to be factual without ever questioning it, but Alhaitham merely saw it as another source of information that he didn’t completely rely on

For him, it probably felt like being in a nation full of sheep (the mob mentality was probably strong); if he’s interacting with someone who’s just going to regurgitate what a machine tells them, he might as well just be using his own Akasha; chances are he frequently encountered people who simply placed their trust in the Akasha rather than question it

There’s also the fact that knowledge in Sumeru is highly prized & those who show evidence of being geniuses or prodigies are usually shown with much respect (qualifying people based on intelligence is what divides the citizens of Sumeru to the extent of a hierarchy; it’s the reason why there is an obvious divide mainly between scholars & the desert people even though the latter for a long time didn’t have access/had limited access to resources that scholars had within the city so it’s an unfair assessment of the desert people to begin with); Alhaitham is someone who doesn’t like extravagance/over-the-top treatment, which we can see in how his position is something that is glorified/hyped up by others

In other words, he doesn’t like people making a big deal out of matters or stalling around when it comes to conversing

Alhaitham’s grandmother taught him to not take his intelligence & uniqueness for granted; bc his intelligence is so high, she believed that it was his responsibility to always stay clear-minded & objective

As a result, Alhaitham doesn’t care about being exalted as a genius or looked down upon as a loner by others in Sumeru; he just looks at everything as it is without overly praising/criticizing something/someone

You can tell it’s a trait he values, he’s even smiling as he mentions it being one of his strengths

Understandably, there are going to be people who don’t like him after talking to him because their feelings WILL be hurt not only because he’s straightforward with his words but also because not everybody will react well to being exposed/being told they’re wrong/questioned, etc.

Obviously Alhaitham isn’t trying to be mean unless he’s intentionally trying to bait you, then that’s another story, but he will & does acknowledge both a person’s weaknesses & strengths (a lot of people will find his bluntness to be a negative quality, but at least nobody will ever have to worry about him dancing around in a conversation with rhetoric)

In the end, Alhaitham seems to be happy living a life where he doesn’t have to interact with others a lot; his grandmother wanted him to have a peaceful life too so it seems to be a win-win situation for Alhaitham honestly considering that he gets paid well as a scribe & he is living comfortably

What’s interesting is that society even in our world views being a loner as a negative trait because it implies that you don’t know how to interact with people & there seems to be a requirement(?) to be able to interact with others because that’s just how it is (for any occasion regardless of whether it’s personal or business)

As I’ve said before, it’s not that Alhaitham doesn’t know how to socialize, he chooses not to if he can help it whereas others are just not comfortable doing so

Now the reason why I talked so much about his social skills is because part of it is how he was raised not just in Sumeru but also by his only family, his grandmother who essentially became his mother figure, going back to the concept of motherhood being present in his lore

Based on how he is in the present, I would argue that he was raised well in spite of his bluntness; his grandmother loved him & wanted him to be happy; it sounds like she didn’t force him into anything that he didn’t want to do (like going to school), she taught him to never take his intelligence for granted & to always remain objective; by letting Alhaitham be self-taught, she helped him to nurture his critical thinking skills & his ability to question others

We don’t know exactly if she ever brought up the topic of being blunt to Alhaitham, but if she did, it didn’t really seem like she saw a problem with it, at least not enough for him to change his ways from a young age

It’s interesting seeing such a character and knowing that his family loved him; honestly when we first met him in the archon quest, I wasn’t expecting to hear about him having a grandmother who took care of him; it’s wholesome, maybe not as wholesome as some other things in the game but it’s still a bit wholesome 😊

#genshin impact #genshin spoilers #genshin lore #genshin constellations #genshin alhaitham #tw: blood #there's one pic with blood on a vulture

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