#otp: if i could love like anybody else | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

ckret2 · 10 months

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youve gotten a few asks about billford before, and your plans for ford's relationship with bill in your fic, but im curious if you personally ship it yourself/*like* it. and, just for the hell of it, if you have any opinion on billdip too, since that one's even more controversial.

I'm gonna put most of this under a cut since it's not only long, but also long about two different topics, but the tl;dr is:

Yeah, I'm a fan of billford. I don't think it's canon, inevitable, or necessary to their dynamic, and I'm still on the fence about whether things will tilt toward the romantic in my fic or if it'll stay platonic, but I do enjoy the ship a lot because it has a lot of (obsessive, weird, unhealthy, angsty) elements that interest me to explore in ships. Billdip, on the other hand, does nothing for me. I don't care about how people ship imaginary characters in their fictional fandoms and I'm not gonna block anybody for liking it, so this isn't a moral stance, here—I just don't like it personally.

One of the things that intrigues me most about a ship is the idea of love that's gone so far it isn't even love anymore but punched out the other side into unhealthy obsession, and "I'll spend the next thirty years of my life hunting you to death" versus "What if I turn you into a gold statue and carry you around to stare at you a lot" sure fit right into "unhealthy obsession." On top of that, some of my favorite ship dynamics are:

the worshiper and the person they've picked to revere as their god, either metaphorically or literally—with bonus points if the person they've devoted themself to doesn't deserve that worship and maybe isn't even all that special, and the worship actually reveals more about the mind of the lover than it does about the (un)divine nature of the beloved

the mad scientist and the muse who gives them ideas and inspires their work (one of my all-time OTPs has a line where the mad scientist says to his ex "we were each the muse to the other"), with bonus points if they both get so caught up in "what can we do together? What dreams can we make reality—" that they plunge into full "so preoccupied with whether or not they could, they didn't stop to think if they should" territory—and bonus bonus points if they eventually come out of the haze of SCIENCE and one of them is horrified by what they've done... but maybe the other one isn't.

two people who are wildly compatible with each other (similar hobbies, tastes, worldviews! they fill in the gaps in each other's personalities! they each happen to be the other's type! they understand each other like no one else can! whatever, fill in the blank!), but for some reason one betrayed the other, they've tried to kill each other, and now things are vicious and bloody and painful and raw between them; but if they talk to each other and accidentally let their guards down for even a split second, all that history is still there, they still like the same stupid movies and share the same stupid inside jokes no one else will ever understand and have the same stupid complementary life dreams, they could have been good for each other, but there's no road back to where they were before the betrayal. Their chemistry is like two huge magnets strapped to land mines: the attraction is as powerful as ever but heaven help them both if they ever touch.

or, alternatively, two people that have all that chemistry, but are just really toxic and do bad things when they're together and enable all each other's worst tendencies, even if they don't necessarily do bad things to each other; and they've got to navigate the fact that they might adore each other so much but they are objectively worse people when they're together.

I like ships with inhuman things. As a writer I like waxing romantic about the inhuman things and trying to convince the reader that yes, this too is beautiful and lovable when seen through the eyes of a lover. I will make you take the stupidest love interest seriously for five minutes. I've romanticized a sticky pile of goo, I've romanticized a robot spider, I've romanticized the concept of being a disembodied voice, I've romanticized a pteranodon made out of lava, and I'll romanticize a cyclopic gold-plated corn chip too, don't test me. Who better to adore a sentient triangle than a scientist-artist who sees the beauty in precise angles?

Depending on the headcanons and/or AUs you're working with, you can get all of these pretty darn easily out of Billford.

I like writing Ford as the awed naive intellectual, hungry for knowledge, for the secrets of the universe, for more, who was utterly dazzled and starstruck by this divinity who tantalized him with esoteric secrets—and who's been furious at Bill for thirty years for betraying him, hurting him, threatening his home and everyone he loves, but underneath all that also furious at him for not being what he advertised when he could have been that; and Bill, meanwhile, playing it cool, far too comfortable playing the role of faux god, but privately, secretly distraught that his favorite "student"—the one who takes Bill's "teachings" and gets creative and inventive with them, the one who always wanted to know more, not just about the universe but about Bill personally—his favorite student no longer worships him, doesn't even respect him, doesn't even see him as an equal, but looks at him like he's the scum of the universe, and Bill won't even admit that it bothers him but it's killing him that nothing he does can get his favorite to so much as smile at him again.

That's the dynamic in my head when I write them. You could play it as purely professional, a god disappointed to lose a worshiper like a boss disappointed to lose his best employee or a celebrity disappointed to lose the president of his fan club; or you could play it like platonic friendship, maybe a QPR; or you could play it like a romance. I like the zest added when you toss romance into this already nasty mess of emotions. I like capping off all that heartache with, "—and if things had turned out differently, maybe I would have taken your hand and traveled with you to the ends of eternity, if only you weren't [such a brutal heartless backstabbing piece of shit]/[unable to forgive a few white lies and some light torture]."

Billdip, on the other hand, does absolutely nothing for me. Not even just for the age reason—that does squick me out, but even if I try to look at it like "okay pretend he's aged up" or "stick it in an AU where they're both dumb kids having dumb kid crushes" I just, see nothing there. I don't even see anything there platonically. Like, legitimately—for the fic I'm working on, I've been trying to figure out what kind of dynamic/interactions they'd have beyond just "Dipper scowls at Bill a lot" and even on that level I've been struggling to think of something compelling between them. I look back on the fact that for a good few years billdip was the ship in the fandom and I go, "why? where's the meat? what do they do for each other?"

I'm forced to imagine that the ship must have been based on some combination of "fandoms naturally want to ship the everyman main character with the charismatic fun villain," "a bunch of teens with crushes on Bill were using Dipper as their self-insert stand-in," and "people assumed Bill wasn't lying when he said Dipper impressed him and didn't start revising that opinion until we got to see firsthand that he uses lines like that on everybody." It feels really uncharitable of me to the shippers to assume that their OTP is founded entirely on statistically average fandom trends and character misinterpretations rather than, like, y'know, traits actually present in the characters, so I'm taking it on faith that there's probably more to it than that and I just don't see it because it just ain't my jam.

When I do try to speculate harder on "how would I get them to interact with each other in a compelling way, like, just in a platonic sense?" my brain starts going "well, dipper's a nerd who's into the paranormal, he wants to know about mysterious things? maybe he's fascinated with bill as a mysterious thing? and maybe... idk, why would bill give a hoot about dipper—maybe bill takes advantage of that fascination, tempts him with more information, maybe he's amused by Dipper's curiosity about weird things—?" and that's usually about the point where I go "this is just, the way Bill and Ford met. This is the watered-down junior version of Bill and Ford's first few weeks." In trying to figure out what the heck Bill and Dipper would even talk about I keep accidentally recreating a less interesting version of Bill and Ford's dynamic.

I want and need Bill and Dipper to have an interesting character dynamic in this fic so being unable to come up with something that personally compels me has been actively frustrating me lmfao, but it does serve to illustrate my main point here: man, billdip does nothing for me so hard that I can't even see them platonically interacting.

#billford #(not tagging the other ship because 'i don't like it and don't get it' feels kinda like hate and i don't wanna put hate in y'all's tag lmao #gravity falls #about my writing #anonymous #ask

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egg-emperor · 2 months

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Yess I really like Modern Egg x Classic Egg.😍😍😍 It fits perfectly with his narcissism. I mean what better mate for him could there be for him other than himself? Who else could match such a superior being?🥚👬🥚

yesss modern Egg x classic Egg is actually the real otp. it's a fact that there's nobody else Eggman could love like he loves himself. and it's the hottest because no other character is hotter, so doubled is perfect. Eggman would agree as he doesn't think anybody is as smart, handsome, or superior. nobody truly deserves or is worthy of him, he's out of everyone else's league except for himself XD

they were gay af with each other in the times they were getting along in Generations, they were just flirting so blatantly and stroking each other's egos as if that wasn't the only thing of each other's they wanted to stroke. because there's also each other's mustaches to stroke, obviously... and more. ;) they might as well have just started jerking each other off, that would've been less gay hfbskgnskgn

it is the most fitting, Eggman is so in love with himself to the point of total obsession and immense dedication in how he wants to give himself the world, literally! he calls himself handsome canonically and makes himself giddy. I'm sure classic and modern would've wanted to pounce on each other immediately upon sight. I mean how could they not when they're both the most gorgeous and sexy man 😍

during the events of the game, Orbot and Cubot weren't around to bother them at all because modern Egg cruelly left them in the cold vaccum of space when he pursued the Time Eater, and classic Egg didn't have any assistant lackey robots back then to be an issue in the first place. so they truly had peace for some precious alone time for a little while and they were totally doing naughty things together hehe

with modern Egg being a bit older and more experienced, he could teach classic Egg not only scientific and battle knowledge and such that he learned over the years between them but also help him learn more about himself, his body, and things he's into but hasn't discovered at that point in time yet. he could get to be the one introduce him to new pleasures and discoveries earlier and that's hot 🤤

and they finally get to explore all their curiosities with each other that they've both fantasized about and know it because they're the same person and in love with themself. exploring the body of themselves at different points in life is very fascinating, they agree. but as they feel each other up they'll realize how exciting it is too, until they're fully fondling each other and giggling and kissing and things just keep escalating

they could've also used the opportunity to try things they were maybe too embarrassed to explore with others, so they can help each other fulfill all their desires and dreams, no matter how shy they are in suggestion. sometimes classic Egg would feel like that towards things modern tries to introduce him to early like "we're really into that?" and modern Egg gives him a very fun first experience with it that proves it >:)

there's so much fun and hot potential with them and they have great chemistry and tension in the couple scenes they have together, they're literally the best together 💜💘 that's why I must spread Eggman x Eggman propegganda as often as possible, I need everyone else to understand that they are the ultimate and most canon Eggman pairing fr. he only has a place in his heart for himself XD

and while they're the only pairing where I could actually see Eggman being genuinely loving, caring, and smitten only because it's himself, I love how they also still bicker and argue and piss each other off at the same time. there's no such thing as a completely perfectly healthy functional relationship with Eggman, further proven by the way that he can't even get along well for long with himself, it's so funny I love it lol

#dr eggman #eggman #dr. eggman #dr robotnik #asks #my post #eggman x eggman #sonic generations

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aenslem · 13 days

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Character ask for Pavel Chekov (Star Trek), please?? 🥰

How I feel about this character: obviously, I love this boi, he is fun, cute, smart, sassy, what not to love.

All the people I ship romantically with this character: I don't think I actually ship him with anybody, he is like a son to me :D

My non-romantic OTP for this character: with Sulu, I love the idea of their friendship, like Chekov would always start some drama and Sulu would have to clean up the mess lol

My unpopular opinion about this character: this question never works with me, cos I have absolutely no idea what other people think of this or anything else, honestly, while I love start trek the longest, I don't really talk to anyone nor read opinions out there to know which are unpopular or popular.

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon: as with everybody else, I would love to have more episodes with him doing something serious, not just being in the background helping the main trio and throwing one liners that are fantastic, but he could do so much more and be so much more, but I get that the main trio was the focus of the show.

my OTP: don't have any

my cross over ship: same as above

a headcanon fact: he always looks up to Spock, but also he wants to have a final word in their debate at least once or to finally joke so well that Spock would not be able to ruin it by making a bitchy comment that will end all Pavel's attempts to joke for the next month in the presence of mister Spock.

#ask #dancingwith-sunflowers #ask game #thanks for the ask :3

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josephinekhawaja · 1 year

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Axe Woves, Koska Reeves

So happy and excited for these two to be back; and not as the bad guys, whatever the negative feelings right now towards one of the two in particular. If they wanted to establish them as villains for the season, they would have incriminated them right away in aiding Moff Gideon as the previous episode seemed to set up, instead of having them off doing the Nikolai Lantsov thing in space.

At the risk of having to make pilgrimage to the mines of Mandalore, cast out of the covert and all that...is there anybody in the dinbo fam that ships Axe Woves and Koska Reeves? Or at least has in the past, given whatever said feelings at present. I take nothing in this episode personally...I expected for there to be a lot of angst and pain and anger and resentment in the anti-Bo-Katan group. Like the Skrulls in the MCU, another homeless space people. But Din x Bo-Katan and Axe x Koska have been my #1 and #2 Mandalorian OTPs since November 2020; Chapter 11 gave them both to me in one fell swoop. And while I may have to finish re-watching Season 2 to try to articulate some context...honestly, with a lot of my ships, it just kind of washes over me in a moment. Something attuned within towards two individuals that I am suddenly supposed to take note of moving forward as being important to one another in a Particular Way.

And that sort of took over again, in the climactic challenge between Bo-Katan and Axe, when everybody else in the world, and especially in our community, would have just been focussed on Katee Sackhoff kicking ass... My attention kept being divided by the looks of concern Koska would consistently shoot Axe -- and only Axe -- throughout the match. That took me out. I was not even looking for it, but I think they are actually together. (In a way that parallels Din and Bo in a low-key, behind-the-scenes, matter-of-fact togetherness. Maybe it is a Mandalorian thing? For couples to just kind of fall in with one another without drawing too much attention to it, and everybody just naturally rolls with it. Seems fitting for a warrior culture, and would be an interesting insight for our headcanoning.) And the Third Couple of this entire episode dedicated to love. A third couple to parallel dinbo over time -- and literally the only one of the three to now be accompanying them.

The first couple in the episode is actually a Direct Parallel to Axe Woves and Koska Reeves, as Axe and Koska both fucked off and left Bo-Katan thinking only of themselves. They both know they did her dirty, and they both have to make penance for it; and I think the comparative innocence of the Star-Crossed Lovers is supposed to be there nonetheless to recall for them remorse. Axe is the one that directly addresses the female -- literally even his counterpart in her being a captain -- that could be accused of luring her lover away. While Koska is the one that directly addresses the male, who ditched his whole life's responsibility for the open road. (I do not believe you for one second, baby girl -- I think you are honourable, and living for more than some quick credits.) I find it interesting that Koska witnesses the whole darksaber debacle firsthand -- and chooses to follow Axe anyway.

And of course Axe says the line "I know it was for love", which sets the theme for the entire episode, and which he says while Koska is Right There, at his right hand. (If you take a screenshot at the Exact Moment he says those six words, Koska is the one in clear focus in the scene with him...and then remember who directed this episode and how likely the director would be to do something by accident.) Not as a tool in the story just to convey it, but also speaking from personal experience. Even the emotion in his face and everything as he delivers the line -- I am sorry, but you cannot convince me he is a bad person. Even if right now he is an ass like a pre-shipping Paz Viszla. (He is basically the *Other Brother-In-Law* of the growing Kryze-Djarin family, with all its being a nuisance.) This is echoed at the end of the episode when he affirms the closing words "It would" -- the emotion in his voice when he says it, to me betrays that Sense of Remorse in abandoning Bo-Katan, and I would say even carries with it an Awe at her restored position. While Koska accompanies this with complete pride in her face at her big sister. They are no more looking to stab her in the back than you can believe Bo to stab Din.

And I maintain what I said that Bo's regard of the two of them are as Younger Siblings, whose abandonment of her at her failure to regain her birthright cut all the more deeply when we are painfully aware of how she has lost Older Siblings. I in no way believe either of them to be Bo-Katan's ex. And sex is not the only possible human source of beef. I believe Axe to have more a lust for power than a lust for Bo, and that his issue with Din to have been straightforward from the moment they met -- "He's one of them." Literally the first words he ever says. His distrust of his zealotry mixed with a petulance at his big sister's boyfriend being the one instead of him, next in age order, to gain a family heirloom. That is more than enough motivation for a human being to move and more than enough for them to be shit.

But on that note, not only do I believe redemption to already be on its way for these two, with redemption being the main theme of this season, and loving somebody not possible without the ability to forgive them... (I hardly think we as a community can ignore all this perceived animosity going down in literally the same space as meeting Jack Black's Imperial. Everything in this episode is for a reason, and the 4 couples overlap and complement one another in their different experiences. It is not just everything flowing one way to dinbo, but all over the chart.) I have said that Paz Viszla would be the biggest dinbo shipper if ever; these two would be the next biggest shippers, once they redeem themselves to Bo and get it together. All the knee-jerk negative energy the past week made me actually not want to write this damn thing, as thought it would just be antagonistically received. ...which is kind of sad, as seeing that Third Couple in my head gave me such giddy feelings and actually in light of it being PRO-DINBO, which is what we are all here for in the end. So kindly excuse it being Roughly Written, as put off to the last minute; I had hoped it would be more coherent. But just as we have always held in one hand the possibility of Bo betraying Din, as slim as it gets by the week, unless Axe and Koska betray them, I hope I can continue to add more to this series for supporting our Shared Ship. Literally the Two People that were with Bo-Katan when she met her husband and son, and I hope two more people -- not just him and Grogu -- meant when Din will say to Bo in the season finale, "We're here for you."

#Din Djarin x Bo-Katan Kryze #Din x Bo-Katan #Axe Woves x Koska Reeves #Axe x Koska #Din-Katan #dinbo

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sometimesiship · 7 months

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Get to know me better tag :D

ty for tagging me, @firewoodfigs! 🥹

three ships: TwiYor x3.

jk that's just my state of mind right now 🥴 Todochako, aaaand... hm.... oh!! GojoHime!! I think those 3 are probly accurate to me now. I could list my classic OTPs, but I don't want to read them like I want to read these atm, so i'll go with these 3 LOL

first ever ship: i could not answer this honestly if i tried bc i cannot dig that far into the catacombs of my memory. i'm going to say InuKag bc i think?? that's the the ship i was introduced to fanfic for?? but really it could be Dramione or EdWin even.

last song: Out of Time by Midnight Kids & Yueku

last movie: Expendables 4 :| I watched it bc i have never watched an expendables movie and i just wanted to experience it BUT THIS ONE WAS SO BAD. like i've heard one of them or something is stupid fun even tho it's generally bad? but this was just straight trash. it wasn't even the good kind of bad. it was just bad. made me sad bc i love jason statham LOL

the last good movie i watched was Gran Turismo. it was unexpectedly GOOD good. that movie made me want to race LMFAO

currently reading: Empire of Pain: The Secret History of the Sackler Dynasty by Patrick Radden Keefe

currently watching: Spy x Family ◉‿◉ （and jjk and a bunch of other stuff but i wait on the edge of my seat for sxf)

currently consuming: i scrounge like a raccoon. i actually just bought a bunch of produce and i keep intending to use it, but i end up doing something else (that i want to do more, admittedly)

currently craving: i've really been wanting pizza for a long time 🤔

tagging: @prita-world, @iridescenceoflove, @tare-chan, and anybody else who wants to 🥹 I tried not to tag anybody who was tagged in eri's, but if i've interacted with you in any way, know that i am tagging you in my heart 😂

#me #tag game

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runawaymun · 1 year

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I feel like we can’t not ask about Elrond for the most recent ask game you reblogged, number one you love talking about him and number two your hcs and characterization for him are always [chef’s kiss]

1: sexuality headcanon

Bisexual vers who has the reverse bisexual syndrome I do: he's attracted to like every man that walks the earth and then exactly one unattainable woman who was nice to him once ten years ago. (Celebrian)

2: otp

Celrond <3 (closely currently followed by Brimbrond (Celebrimbor x Elrond) -- but that's on a VERY close tier with QPR!Gilrond and Celrondir)

3: brotp

Tie between Elrond & Erestor and Elrond & Celeborn right now, but this question always fluctuates for me. I've really been in a second age Elrond mood thanks to Rings of Power lately and have been thinking a LOT about what it must have been like to have been him at that period in his life when he was so utterly immersed in a purely Elvish and presumably overwhelmingly Noldorin court. Did anybody understand his sense of temperature? His need for sleep? His sense of time? His ability to get ill? Did he accept those things about himself and stand up for himself to get his needs met or did he try and keep up with everyone else (hint: in my head it's the latter). How lonely must his existence at Gil's court truly have been in the early half of the second age? Anyway -- I headcannon Erestor as Peredhel, and headcannon that Elrond met him sometime around this time and that it was somewhat of a revelation for him to discover that a) there are other people like him and b) that maybe some of the things that make him 'faulty' or 'eccentric' by Elvish standards are really just human (or maia) traits and actually are just fine & he shouldn't be suppressing them.

And then there's Celeborn, who I headcannon has a strong vested interest in helping Elrond come to terms with his Sindarin heritage, which largely goes ignored (but that Elrond seems to overwhelmingly align himself with in the books). If we're going with a kidnap fam timeline, then Elrond was probably raised to be ragingly culturally Noldorin, and then Gil's court as previously stated is super Noldorin as well and I headcannon that most people there tend to think of him in terms of "Earendillion" -- thus again, stamping him "Noldorin". I think a lot about the fact that he probably had a Sindarin/Doriathrim accent/subdialect prior to the Sack of Sirion, and probably developed either a Feanorian accent or at the very least a strong Noldorin accent by the time he would have met Celeborn. He's got a mixed heritage and possibly doesn't know very much about the Sindarin half early on in his life, and so I think Celeborn really took him under his wing at that point and had a vested interest in helping him learn about Doriath, and Elwing, and Melian & Luthien and Sindarin cultural in general.

4: notp

I'm extremely fond of Elrond in all sorts of relationships and various constellations and polycules because he has so much love to give! But in terms of relationships I think I actively avoid/dislike, it's Gilrond in any dynamic which is romantic (because I headcannon Gil as ragingly aro), and tbh just...most Gilrond portrayals, because most often the power disparity is either romanticised or sexualised and I that's just...a personal squick for me. Ignored is less squicky but I still just don't really like reading their dynamic unless the author has taken some form of effort to reconcile the power disparity. Gil's the high king & Elrond is his herald. Gil could literally ruin his life and there are clear issues of consent in a dynamic like that. It's extremely easy for that to turn into something super unhealthy or dangerous so fucking fast and it always makes me a bit squeamish about the ship. There are ways around it and ways to resolve it in a healthy way, but that does take a lot of work and forethought. Most Gilrond fics tend to gloss over the potential issues of consent and just sexualize the power disparity and that's so gross to me sorryyyy.

5: first headcanon that pops into my head

He deals with really bad sleep paralysis because he's subject to a weird combo of elf-sleep (walking the paths of memory) and true-sleep (actual dream-states), on top of the curse gift of foresight which results in some wack ass visions.

6: favorite line from this character

Books it's a tie between: "Elrond laughed" and “Such is oft the course of deeds that move the wheels of the world: small hands do them because they must, while the eyes of the great are elsewhere.” and "“Elrond’s house was perfect, whether you liked food or sleep or story-telling or singing (or reading), or just sitting and thinking best, or a pleasant mixture of them all. Merely to be there was a cure for weariness. … Evil things did not come into the secret valley of Rivendell." (none of these are strictly lines and this last one is not strictly from the character but shhhhh)

In the films: "You should have stayed dead" (From PJ's hobbit. That scene is so self-indulgent for me asdlkghjkl)

In Rings of Power: "I swore an oath to Durin. To some, that may now hold little weight. But in my esteem, it is by such things our very souls are bound." (meanwhile me screaming at the screen NO OATHS!! NO OATHS!! YOU DUMB BITCH!!!! but this line still hits me so hard)

7: one way in which I relate to this character

@the-commonplace-book pointed out the other day that a lot of my headcannons surrounding Elrond's differences due to his peredhel heritage and how he (and others) responds to it and struggles to accept his own limits are a rather good metaphor for chronic illness and disability and I haven't been the same since & feel very Seen (derogatory).

8: thing that gives me second hand embarrassment about this character

Please stop making people bully u into self care sweetie it's so Cringe.

9: cinnamon roll or problematic fave?

cinnamon roll cinnamon roll cinnamon roll

#elrond #out of uniform #the lord of the rings #the silmarillion #the rings of power #lotronprime #thank you for paying the blorbo tax i expect nothing less from you guys <3 #it's elrond brainrot hours 25/8

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everybodyknows-everybodydies · 10 months

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Elizabeth Corday and Romano for the send character post

Elizabeth:

Why I like them: arrogant and has good reason to be. wildly self-destructive in response to emotional turmoil. so bad at so many things but absolutely confidently doing them anyway. total weirdo who, and I quote, thinks "being 'cool' seems somewhat limiting." desperately trying to be Good but she's also capable of such vicious pettiness and unkindness. when she does the big sad eyes I would throw myself into the sea if she asked it of me.

Why I don’t: s10 my nemesis until the end of time

Favorite episode (scene if movie): EXODUS ft. Sooty Elizabeth, a favorite blind box variant (gestures to my icon)

Favorite season/movie: I have to say s6. Dean Rollins arc my most dearly beloved

Favorite line: her goodbye spiel to Rollins is just banger after banger... but especially I held your every breath in my hands. like!!!!

Favorite outfit: whenever she wears sweaters!! the blue turtleneck especially is so underrated.

OTP: ot3 reigns forever :')

Brotp: canonically, Cordano. noncanonically, Susan should have stayed specifically so they could be chaotic bi friends.

Headcanon: she wants to be the kind of person who starts decorating for holidays super early but she always is like "tomorrow!!" and then it's like The Day Before Thanksgiving and she's hurling fistfuls of orange streamers over the banister like WHY DID NOBODY MAKE ME DO THIS SOONER

Unpopular opinion: That Woman Was Never Supposed To Be A Mother: a 25 page essay by Mouse

A wish: more sweaters!! less emotional self-harm!!! also she should kiss me.

An oh-god-please-dont-ever-happen: what else could you possibly do to me that s10 didn't already. I mean.

5 words to best describe them: the. love. of. my. life.

Romano:

Why I like them: he has made himself a performance. he has made himself a villain. he is soooo fake and he is soooo horrible and he's my special little guy and I need to fistfight him in the parking lot. he says things and then is just like :) as though he hasn't just vocalized a sentence no human being would ever say under normal circumstances. he is like a chew toy to me and well I am tearing him to shreds

Why I don’t: lol have you seen him. I said meet me in the PARKING LOT, ROBERT

Favorite episode (scene if movie): hmmmmm this is a TOUGH ONE. Power is one of my all-time favorites anyway but he's really good in it especially so let's go with that one

Favorite season/movie: s5&6 again. it's where I LIVE

Favorite line: "DO YOU DREAM OF LIZZIE CORDAY??"

Favorite outfit: I am legally obligated to say the speedo unfortunately

OTP: please.

Brotp: Cordano... Peter... Rogreene... Gretel...

Headcanon: I read him as ace so whenever he pulls a "haha I thought we were talking about sex :)" at an utterly bizarre moment, in my heart he's like "Mission Complete: I Have Successfully Passed As A Normal Heterosexual Man!"

Unpopular opinion: I feel like an insane person but he is so obviously a constructed persona most of the time. like. a person with power over others is not going to be well-liked by everybody so he just decided he's not going to be well-liked by ANYBODY. also if you tell him to stop... he stops. he respects people who have a spine.

A wish: no, little bald boy, don't go onto the roof

An oh-god-please-dont-ever-happen: backstory lol I like him being such a blank slate and so fan attempts at giving him some kind of tragic past are always so funny to me like. he's just a massive dick it's okay he doesn't need a sad reason for it

5 words to best describe them: idiot garbage bag with heart.

#Mouse talks!#thank you for asking!! :D

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simon-x-billy · 9 months

Text

Simon x Billy

Year of the OTP: June

Chapter 6: Where’s the helipad?

June prompt: Soulmates

AN: Enjoy the sweet sweet sounds of helicopter blades slicing through the air. I love the helicopter scene so much. It is happy-making. It just makes me love both of them for each other. (Let's ignore the fact that I wrote it.)

We are so close to the sex, guys. So close. This is the last SFW chapter for a while. Bask in the virginal dude-bro vibe, and let people know that you read the chapters before they were cool.

TW: Rewrites. Mystifyingly late posts. Drunkenness. If alcohol is triggering for you, no need to read the last teeny section after we first meet Barry. Rest assured that Simon gets home safely and says cute stuff, then happily goes to bed.

Masterlist || ao3 || Prev || Next

————/Simon/————

I am trying to stop thinking about falling to my death. Give me a minute.

Ok, so this is…………This is a long flight of fucking rickety, wind-blasted wood. Not like that metal set of stairs with all the switchbacks I was complaining about last time I encountered stairs. I take all of my complaints back about that place. That was the height of stair-building technology by comparison. This place is just…..language fails me, like I’m picturing the stairs failing me any second now.

Shush, I need to concentrate.

————/-/————

Oh my fucking god. I can’t breathe. Metaphorically kissing the ground due to sheer survival has become a feature of my stay here. Just cuz I survived. So much ground kissing happening in Italy. Especially near stairs.

So from the size and schmanciness I’m guessing this place was either for a huge schmancy family, or hardcore party animals needing lots of bedrooms (the olden days version). This coastline has been a summer getaway spot for centuries. Scratch that. For millennia. What, like maybe three thousand, four thousand years?

But actual beaches are rare here. Anybody with two inches of it will stick a beach umbrella in it. So imagine owning an entire beach. Right? Beside the hotel, the only other possible access is from the water. And there are a lot -- I mean a lot of yachts around here. They will never, ever look normal to me. But they’re starting to look like a normal thing around here. And I’m told these aren’t even the big ones. Fuck me sideways.

Both shots are from the website of the actual Hotel La Tonnarella, which is the hotel I based my fictional hotel on. Yes, it really looks like that. Yes, I did stay there. Totally worth going into debt. Best decision I’ve ever made. You can faintly see the stairs, at left. It’s that pale diagonal line down the cliff from the hotel at top left down toward the beach, crossing right in front of that ruin in the middle, halfway down the cliff.

Anyway, we’ve seen the (only) road and there’s definitely no place for me to do my morning run. It doesn’t even have a shoulder. I guess if I can’t run without going airborne off a cliff, I could do the steps when I wake up. Better than nothing. It’s just-

Well, we’ve seen that I hate stairs. Steep stairs. Cliff stairs.

Fuck. Besides being terrifying, it was tiring just getting down here. What am I going to do when I have to go back up?

Anyway, Billy’s working down here today. And I really feel like disrupting his job well done.

“Will yeh take a look at yer man now. Down the beach, explorin,” he calls, as I approach the hotel’s tiny beach bar. “You didn’t take the stairs, did yeh?”

“Um, yeah? Certo. I wanted to see the beach.” Obviously.

“Why didn’t yeh take the lift?” he asks me.

I fix the man to his spot with a very frowny, very deep, “Would you mind repeating that, Billy?” Exactly like if Kronk was playing me in the movie. I can barely see through my eyes that have now narrowed to slits of disbelief and distrust and discomfort. “There’s an elevator?”

“Well, yeah man. How else are people meant to get down here? The cliff’s a dangerous way down, innit?”

It’s ok, Lewis. You can incorporate this new information without flipping out. Just be proud of yourself for facing your fears. You descended steep, unsafe stairs. Good job! And you were only vaguely terrified the whole time. Good job!

“Is the cliff so dangerous that they should close it down due to the mounting death toll? Or is it only dangerous in an inoffensive, cute way?”

He huffs out a quick laugh, then returns to slicing up lemons.

“Billy? That was an actual question. Care to provide an answer?”

“Meh, it’s safe enough,” he says. And that, ladies and gentleladies, is all I need to convince me I can indeed use this as my new Italian Morning Exercise. 1. Cliff, 2. Coffee, 3. Cliff, 4. Vomiting coffee. Perfect.

————/-/————

I’ve spent all this week forging a grudging relationship with the beach stairs.

I’m getting a little more accustomed to it. I have a few specific stones and broken twigs I’ve chosen as landmarks, whenever I require reassurance that I am indeed climbing down the right cliff. And if I’ve survived it the last four mornings, I can survive it a fifth time. Flawless reasoning.

Behind the beach bar, Billy spots me and gives me a wave. “You packed, man?”

My insides instantly start fizzing. I am so fucking stoked. I got us an airbnb in Naples for the weekend so we can check out Sabina’s gig tomorrow night. Billy could not say yes fast enough. He’s a social guy, and there’s not a lot of nightlife around here. I have no idea how he’s managed it all this time. Oh wait, that’s right. He’s managed it with women. Lots of women.

Over the last week, I’ve come to the realization that management does not mind a guest hanging out at the bar distracting their employee all day, because while that guest is distracting the employee, he is also ordering drink after frothy fruit-based drink, and healthy fruit-based foods. It’s like they’ve realized that my distraction of Billy might actually be lucrative for them. I even have my own barstool. Officially.

I have an announcement to make. “I have come to a decision,” I announce. “We need a convertible.”

“Sorry?”

“A convertible. We need one,” I repeat.

“Yeah, mate, heard yeh.”

“What, it’s a convertible!”

Billy remains unmoved. “Why can’t we take the train? It’s simplest-”

“We are not taking the train.”

“But I quite like the train,” he claims.

“Because you’re insane and don’t like convertibles.” J’accuse!

“See now, I never said I don’t like convertibles. I-“ he begins.

But I totally interrupt him. “I need to go do something.” Because my brain just exploded with potential.

“What?” He might be alarmed.

Whereas I’m enthusiastic. “Be an Ugly American.”

“Er, that sounds terrible,” he says.

“If you’re gonna be American, you might as well own it. Watch me own it, Billy, watch me.”

Oddly, Billy still looks wary. “That sounds-”

“Awesome.”

“-terrible. You’re not plannin to wear one of them caps with straws into beer cans, are yeh?” He snorts at whatever he’s picturing. “Actually, I might pay yeh to do that.”

“Nah. Not my brand,” I say, sliding off the barstool. I snag an olive and pop it in my mouth, to avoid grinning like someone who grins because they’re about to do something awesome. “Ciao, Beelee.” I wave behind me.

I’ve got the phone out and I’m already dialing before I’ve even reached the stairs. And then I remember I can also take the elevator.

———/-/———

Billy has finally met up with me at the fountain by the hotel entrance. Thank god, cuz I really don’t want him to miss the arrival of that Ugly American thing that required a phone call. Ever notice there’s an ugh in ugly? Just occurred to me.

“There you are, Delaney. MWAH hah ha ha hahhhhh! Prepare to hear the sweet sweet sound of helicopter blades pulsing through the air. It’s done, and there’s nothing you can do to stop it.”

“Simon-”

“So where’s the helipad?” I inquire.

“The what now? Mate, it’s not that kind of hotel. Why are we taking a helicopter to Naples?”

“The correct response would normally be ‘because we can’-” Obviously. Certo.

“That is not a normal response.” Billy looks mystified, yet still amused. So that’s a thing.

“-but not this time,” I finish. “That’s not the real idea.”

“Oh, so you’re tellin me this is a superfluous helicopter. That is ugly.”

“No! It is most definitely not superfluous.”

“Your carbon footprint’ll be spendin all eternity in hell, man.”

“Billy.”

“Simon.”

“Stop talking. And just enjoy the mounting anticipation. The mellow sense of horror, or at the very least a nasty case of creeping dread. MWAH hah ha ha hahhhh!”

“Stop it, mate. You’re gettin evil genius all over my uniform. And you know how I feel about laundry.”

“Just a little bicarbonate of soda. Gets out even the most organic of stains. MWAH hah ha ha hahhhhh.”

“Simon.”

“Billy.”

“Stop talkin. Like an evil genius. We’re gettin complaints.”

“Are not.”

“From me. I’m complainin.”

“What am I going to wear?” I ask. It’s a fair question.

“Simon. Oh my god.”

“I’m serious! I packed for Italy in ten minutes. It’s all socks and shorts.” And sunblock. And chargers.

He’s shaking his head at me. For some reason, this makes me happy. In my tummy. How novel.

“Is that the fire alarm?” he asks.

“Huh? I mean, MWAH hah ha ha haaaah, oh no. What you’re hearing is the sweet sweet purring of a helicopter bearing my booty.”

“You didn’t think that one through, mate.”

“Oh, but yes, yes I did. This booty is worth baring. Can you feel it? The heady excitement of anticipation? The mellow terror?”

“Yes. I feel the terror,” he says blandly. He finds my terror bland.

Wait. “That would be the best cologne flavor ever. Mellow Terror, by Simon Lewis. Pour homme.”

“Are you manic right now?”

———/Billy/————

I was joking, but Simon just went very still. I’ve put my foot in, haven’t I?

“I am a bit manic, am’nt I?” he offers, tossing off a fake laugh.

“Somethin wrong with your shoes, mate? Simon, man, my eyes are up here.”

“Just wait til you see what I’ve done,” he says sheepishly, eyeing me from under his furry eye caterpillars.

“Simon. Should I be worried?”

“Oops?”

Oops? I haven’t a clue what to do with oops.

He grabs me excitedly by the forearm and starts dragging me toward the hotel gates.

That’s…Wait, is that-

“Simon. Did you buy a Mini Cooper?”

“A convertible Mini Cooper.”

“But why?” I ask the reasonable question.

“Because I can!” He’s practically vibrating. I can tell he wants to do his jumping-clapping thing by the way he’s currently bouncing on his toes.

“Simon.”

“Billy.”

“You bought a Mini Cooper. Convertible,” I swiftly add. “You’re in the land that built the Maserati, the Lamborghini, the Ferrari, and every other sports car that ends in i-”

“Not Audi.”

I huff in annoyance, “-and you bought a convertible Mini Cooper. And had it airlifted here. Because you could.”

“I’ve always wanted a convertible Mini Cooper.”

“But not a convertible Ferrari,” I clarify.

“No.”

“Who are you?”

“I’m awesome,” he answers, because he’s Simon.

I decide not to mention that we could have skipped the car altogether and taken the helicopter to Naples.

This is so childish, and impetuous, and reckless, and I refuse to find the actions of a grown man adorable. Jaysus.

“Oh my god!” he squeaks. “They were driving Minis in The Italian Job!!!”

Shaking my head. Just shaking my head. “Did you have them airlift in some clothes, too?”

“Shit! I totally should have!” He appears to actually mean that.

“You should see your face,” he hoots. Feckin hoots, all half bent over from laughin.

And now he’s ignoring me. Suddenly I’m not even here. He only has eyes for his Mini. “Oh my god it’s so kawaii.”

His smile is kawaii.

“Go away,” he flaps a hand at me. “I want to fanboy freely and without judgment from a judgy Irishman.”

“Fine. I need to pack anyway.”

And off behind me I hear him call, “Wait! What am I gonna wear?”

Shaking my head. Just shaking my head.

————/-/————

I’ve gathered my gear, and I can see Simon out by the car park. I’m hitching up my pack, so it isn’t really until I’ve cleared all the foliage that I realize Simon is humping his Mini Cooper convertible. “All right?” I ask, tryin to keep a straight face.

“Oh, yes. All is definitely right,” he purrs.

“Have you turned her on, too?”

He slides off the car til his Converse hit the pavement with a slap.

Now he’s draping himself over the boot. I can’t help it that I’m laughing. Sometimes he hits me just right to set me to belly laughin. Doesn’t happen often with Simon, but when it does, he wears the greatest surprised happy face I’ve ever seen. This time there’s giggling. Off to a good start, which is good. Yes. Good.

I hesitate. “Look, mate. Will this thing actually fit us?” I eyeball the car. “I am quite seriously concerned that we might actually need the top down to ride in this thing. How tall are you, anyway?”

“Six feet. Why? How tall are you? Mate, get off the boot so I can shove this in there and we can go.” He does, and I do.

I have to say it, “Thanks for not getting the red, white, and blue one.” There is a god. Thank you, Poseidon.

“They were out of orange, white, and green, too,” he says with regret.

“You asked about the tricolor, did yeh?” Alright yes, he’s got me laughin again. Simon Lewis. Driving the Irish flag.

“Fuck out of the driver’s seat!” he’s suddenly roaring.

Blimey. He looks proper angry. I may have just flinched. “Don’t you want a car and a driver? No, serious, don’t yeh want me to drive, since I know the way?”

“Get the fuck out of the driver’s seat, Billy. Now!”

“Alright! Fine, fine. You’ll be usin GPS then, will yeh?”

“Si si si, certo.”

I groan. “This is all about to go so very-”

“Awesome,” he declares. “This is all about to continue to be awesome. Be the change, Billy. Be the change!”

“Oh my god Simon.”

“I can hear you rolling your eyes from here,” he says from behind the boot, which he slams shut a little too hard. I feel it in every moving piece of this tiny automobile. Bigger than a SMART car, so I suppose I shouldn’t be complainin.

Well, here’s hoping he’s still so enthused about it at the other end. “Gotta say, mate. I’m surprised you’d want to drive at all.”

“Why not?” he’s askin.

“Because mate, it’s Italy, innit. Famous for frightenin foreign drivers.” He has to remember what the drivin was like on our three other trips down this road. “Well,” I sigh. “At least you get to drive on the ‘right’ side of the road in Italy.”

—--/-/—--

“See? I told you you’d fit.”

“Alright man, you did,” I admit to the muppet.

“Come on, give it up…”

“What?” I’m not laughing, I promise. “Is she a smooth ride? I don’t know, man, why don’t yeh start her up ‘n find out?”

“Well there is that. So yeah,” he says as he pulls out of the car park and up to the mouth of the hotel driveway. “It’s to the left, right?”

“Em, yeah. Yes, the city of Naples is still in the general direction of left. Like the other three times we’ve done this road together.”

He rolls his eyes, and all is right and well with the world. Until the moment he pulls out onto the road. Then I’m brought up quick by the realization that between us we know fuck all about the convertible Mini Cooper. “Wait, where’s the GPS on her, for the flat’s address?”

“I dunno, check the screen thing.” So helpful, yer man Simon is.

“Do you even have an Italian driver’s license? Or insurance? I love this guy. How’ve yeh managed to live this long?” I pause for an answer, but none is forthcoming. “I mean, fucksake, Simon. You called someone to buy you a car and suddenly you’re on the road to Naples. Do you even know where the directionals are? Or like, the wipers? Should I be concerned for my safety?”

“Shoosh. Don’t jinx us,” he sternly admonishes me. “Do you need to have registration in Italy? Or insurance? I don’t know. Italy doesn’t really strike me as a big insurance-y type of country.”

“Fair point. But I take it you have….whatever, I dunno, papers and all that?” How is he like this?

“Don’t know. What’s in the glove box?” He makes a flappy gesture in the general direction of my knees.

“How are you like this? Were you actually born like this, or did it come with fame and wealth?”

“You mean, was I actually born a flaming asshole, or just become one?”

“Meh. Yeah ok,” I shrug. “We’ll go with that. So, what’ll it be?”

“Ow. Straight for the throat, Delaney.” His tone is recriminating as he protects his throat with both hands. “Uncool, man. Uncool.”

I’m flipping through the owner’s manual. Before long I’ve programmed everything, located the GPS, found Simon’s Only In Italy playlist, and even found the button to pop the bonnet. “There you go. It’s workin now.” I toss the manual in the glove box.

“What’s working?” he asks.

I shrug. “Everything, man. Everything.”

He barks out a laugh, the grumpy fuck, and I realize I’m laughing as well.

I plug in the address for the flat and immediately the voice pumping out the speakers is a woman speaking Italian. So I’m maniacally fumbling with it again, while Simon drives on in a fit of laughter.

“Aw, come on! Let’s see how we do in Italian,” he gasps out.

“Fucksake. See how we do in Italian.” Shaking my head.

“No, seriously. Let’s hear what she has to say, this ummmmm, what should we call her - Maria! Because obviously.”

“Certo.” That gets me another laugh.

“Santa Maria, Holy Madonna, show us the way, in Italiano,” Simon pleads in a truly horrendous Italian accent. “I am so happy right now.”

He says it with a laugh. Such a thing to so easily roll off the tongue. Fella I met a few months ago, I never would have pictured bein happy, let alone noticing it, naming it, declaring it. Nice to see. Unexpected, know what I mean?

“I don’t trust you when you’re quiet that long, Delaney.”

“Hm?”

“Exactly.”

Am I missing something?

“Ok, so.” He clears his throat. “We know who I am. Who are you? Let’s hear it. Who is Billy Delaney?”

Aw, man. Serious? “How long we got?” Please don’t make me.

“How would I know?” he shrugs. “Maria’s speaking your language, not mine.”

“Fair enough.” I hit play, hoping the music will make the conversation trail off from there. But of course it doesn’t, because this is Simon. Si. Certo.

“What. Do you have some horrible second identity thing going on? Are you really even Irish? Truth time, Delaney.”

“You show me yours, I’ll show you mine?”

“Yeah, ok,” says the cheeky monkey.

“Oh,” I answer, not sure how else to dodge Simon’s inquisition. Uh, erm….. “Soooo, what mate? What do you want to know?” I ask, though truthfully I wish he’d just let it go.

“Is your name really Billy Delaney, and are you actually even from Ireland at all?”

“Yes.”

“Boring.”

“Brief,” I counter.

“Obtuse,” he counters.

“Si.”

“Oh my god, Billy. So where are you from?”

“Ireland.”

He looks around us rapidly. “Is she going to start speaking Italian? Cuz we just passed Ercolano.”

“Already?”

“Yeah! I know, right? Time flies when you’re torturing someone for information. So should I panic?”

“Nah,” I reassure him. “We've a bit more road before we turn aside. Maria can sleep on.”

“Alright. But I swear to God, Billy. If you don’t start coughing up some details, I'm serious, I will pull this car over. Do I have to pull this car over, young man?”

“Wow, that’s forceful.” Cos it is. “Ow!” I flinch when he swats my shoulder with a backhand. “Fine, ye bastard. My name is actually Lola, but I go by Billy Delaney. And I’m only mostly joking. One of the summer cousins I used to play soccer with couldn’t say William when we were little. So for a few months every year, I was Lola. There. Was that not juicy enough for yeh?”

“Charming. But from that I got these few details: 1. You have cousins. Conceivably fertile ground. We could continue that way. 2. You play soccer, and you call it soccer. Isn’t that illegal outside the US? No- don’t answer that. I’m not finished. 3. You go someplace where there are cousins to play soccer with in summer. Are we even still in Ireland?”

Em. I just sort of sit here and wait.

“And you really don’t want to talk about this, do you?”

“You are so easily distracted,” I tease. “No, but seriously, here’s some details for yeh. I’m 27. Left Ireland at 18, after graduating culinary school, and was sent out to do my apprenticeship. That was at a manor house near Galway,” I say, wrapping up the conversation.

“And…..”

“That’s not enough?” I thought that was a fair bit of information, to be honest.

“Do I have to turn this car around, young man?”

“I fear I might be missin some essential cultural reference here, mate.”

“Don’t distract me with your distractions, Delaney. Feed me.”

And that’s when Maria tells us to turn left.

—--/Simon/—--

I can’t fuckin believe that there are Irish pubs in Italy. Nor can I believe I’m in one. I mean, where do real Italians go to watch soccer? This can’t be right.

“All right?” Billy asks the bartender.

“Howeyeh,” says the man back to him, and Billy’s eyes go comically wide.

Next thing I know, I’m bored stiff, pretending to find the intricacies of European football interesting with a Welsh guy named Barry.

And whoa, turns out Billy’s day-to-day accent is pretty washed out in comparison to the thickness of his accent when he’s speaking to his new BFF. They’re speaking so fast that I can’t understand a word through their accents and grammatical errors. Welsh is so much easier.

That is, until I hear a voice disturbingly similar to Billy’s, requesting a Bud.

I swing back around in time to see Billy’s new BFF nod at him and begin turning toward the draft beers.

“No! Wait,” I wave. “He’s only joking,” I say, emphatically shaking my head no.

“Oh,” the Irish bartender looks back to Billy in surprise. “Were you?”

What, he thinks I’m lying? “Course he was! Certo.”

“Why ‘of course’?!” Billy turns on his barstool to face me. “What the fuck, Simon?”

“Sorry if I fucked up your joke, dude, but don’t drag it out, ok?” I say under my breath.

Disparaging other people’s beer of choice is like a national pastime in Brooklyn, because it frequently employs irony, and we are naturally good at it from birth. Don’t blame him, he’s new.

“I’ll take that Bud,” Billy reiterates. “Ta, mate.” The barkeep returns his nod and goes about the business of it.

“Billy? We’ve talked about this. You swore you’re Irish. Were you lying to me? Are you a lying liar who lies?”

“Why do yeh say that?”

“Because you can’t – you’re not – you’re not, like, allowed to drink bad beer when you’re Irish. Isn’t that illegal? Or fatal, or something?”

The big ape is just lazing back against the bar, sipping his pint of piss beer, looking at me in amusement.

“You’re like a caricature of yourself sometimes, Simon, d’yeh know what I mean?”

“Fuckin- What?! That’s not very nice! I’m outraged.”

“You should see yerself, mate. Yeh look like your face is about ready to split down the middle and outrage’ll start pourin out like lava from the fissures.”

I stop and cock my head at him. “That was both specific and descriptive. Nice one. But that said, how dare you! I demand an apology.” I’m trying really hard to keep a straight face. He has no intention of making it easy for me.

“Apologize? For what?” He gives me a cock-eyed grin. Oh look, his cock eyes are doing that twinkly thing again.

“You have offended my good taste and have let down your countrymen and native soil. Or water or whatever it is that makes all beer taste better in Ireland. The least you could do is the decent thing and apologize to your countrymen, and me, and then hide it in your jacket where no one can see you sneaking sips!”

He laughs because he thinks I’m joking.

“Do you just not like beer at all? And that’s why you don’t order the good stuff?” I prod.

“Simon, you are such a snob,” he says, and goes right on twinkling.

“Correct. And if you’re going to drink cheap beer, for god’s sake, order PBR and salvage at least some of your self respect.”

“Do you know this man?” the bartender asks Billy. “Is he harassin yeh?”

Billy is now laughing so hard that he’s almost fallen off his stool.

“We know each other,” I reassure the barkeep. “Don’t know how long that’ll last, all considered, though. Check back for updates.” I raise my pint of Guinness in respect.

“It’s czech. Budvar,” the man informs me.

“Ah, no! Why’d yeh tell him, mate!” Billy raises his hands theatrically. I’m telling you, theatre school. “Yeh just had to put him out of my misery, yeah?”

“And my misery,” says the man.

—--/-/—--

Ok, so what is it with the whole pub drunkenly singing “oh-ay-oh-ay” at the top of their drunken lungs, sloshin beer out of their pint glasses, whenever Europeans play soccer. Mebbe they sing it in Southmerica, too. Butwhatevercuz I don’ really care.

If you can’t – beat em then join em. Thassmymott, um, -o. Thassmy motto. Motto.

Where’s Billy? I can’t see him. If thissperson would get out of the frickin way. He’s all backed up against my face’n I can’t see. Anything. Nothin to see here, folks. Move along, people, move along.

Where’s Billy? Oyeah, right right right. Right here in my face.

I figure it’ll be easier to keep track of him if I hold onto his belt loop. Or a pocket or something. Yeah, I’m just gonna hang on to his pocket.

Pocket.

I like the word pocket. Lossa hard consnits that pop. Pop.

Pop.

I like the word pop. It sounz like it pops. And it’s the same backwards and forwards an’itsall about the lips. Pop ’ing.

What? Where’s he going? I’m trailing after him with my hand in his pocket. He keeps pullin it out and I keep puttin it back in. Oth’wise I’m gonna get lost and then where would I be? Huh? I wouldn’t even know!

“Oh! Now I know where we are! We’re on the block where we’re were where gonna sleep.” If make it up th’stairs. But Billy’s helping. He’s nice like that.

“You’re nice like that,” I say with a big smile. “And you‘re funny lookin.”

Wait.

“Oops! I mean yerlookin funny at me right now. Whass funny? ‘m’I funny? ‘r’Juss funny lookin?”

I crack myself up. Like in real life, cuz I’m laughing. Right now. Sometimes iss hard to stop laughing but I’ll be ok.

“Billy. Billy! Hey, Billy. What’re you doing? Tryin to get in my pants? That tickles! Oh, hey! Did we win? I mean, I don’really care - just wonren.”

Hey! Tickles! “Stop that! How’dyou know I don’t wanna wear those? I’ll take ‘em off when I feel like it. Prollymaybe take ‘em off tomorrow. Hey! I was wearing that! And that!”

He’s very pushy. “You’re very pushy. Stop pushing!”

I land on the bed and it’s like fluffy clouds of teddybears. “K, fine. I’ll go to bed, jeez.” Alls I wanna do is bury my face in pillow, but can’t breathe when I do that.

“Don’t close the door all the way, Ma. And leave the hall light on, K? g’Night, love you too.”

————/-/————

Masterlist || ao3 || Prev || Next

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actualbampot · 3 months

Note

Ooo For the OTP asks because BAM CONTENT, how about some FP action in whichever AU or Canon you want?

17, 18, 23, and 37?

When I tried to answer to this the first time, my response was massive. Then tumblr deleted it and I sulked. Let's try again! Fallen Petals + Vampire AU 17. Who fell in love first? So, neither actually. And I probably wont ever write that particular arc. As their relationship goes through various phases, none of them are really attributed to love. Cinder grows particularly fond of Ruby when eventually they strike an agreeable balance between Ruby's livelihood and Cinder's needs, but for the most part Ruby spends it suffering Cinder, and berating herself over her attraction to her. 18. What song fits them perfectly? The name of the fic: Red Flags And Long Nights - She Wants Revenge 23. Who overthinks the most? For a myriad of reasons, Ruby. Cinder is volatile, unpredictable and being bound to her by their agreement is not very forgiving. Ruby's overthinking spirals very quickly into daily paranoia, with no way to know when or where Cinder will show up, no way to know if she's saving anybody by agreeing to be Cinder's sole source of food. Or if Cinder is even honouring their agreement to not harm anybody else. So, overthinking takes a hefty mental toll on Ruby.

37. What do they like the least about each other?

Where do I even START. Ruby: Ruby had never found arrogance attractive before, so she doesn't know what she hates more: The fact that Cinder shamelessly flaunts her power over people, or that the vexing web of control she weaves around everyone is what makes her so alluring. Most of all, she hates how absolutely justified Cinder's arrogant self-assurance is, and how helpless Cinder makes her feel because of it. She hates that Cinder can come and go as she pleases, and feed from Ruby as she needs it, and that at the end of the day, bled to lethargy, Cinder makes it near-impossible for her to hide the post-coital elation of being bitten. Cinder: When Ruby eventually does find leverage against Cinder, she hates how she initially dismissed just how self-righteous Ruby could be. That she's been hiding a backbone from Cinder that she didn't expect. It's both parts pleasantly surprising and incredibly condescending that a human would make any sort demand of her kind- of which Ruby leverages plenty. Thanks @scham-wcan!

#rwby #ruby rose #cinder fall #fallen petals #vampire au #cinderruby #asks #hud yer wheesht

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narcissa-black-supermacy · 2 years

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Dani Dani Dani, can I please please have number 51 for Prongsfoot please?

51. What’s a non verbal way they say I love you?

Of course, anything for you my love <3 and anything for an excuse to write some prongsfoot

Send me an OTP question from the list and a ship and I’ll respond with a drabble.

It’s not really a surprise to anyone, when James and Sirius announce the “big news”, he is pretty sure that it is more of a surprise to them, than to the actual people around them. It is definitely not a surprise for Remus, who spent almost seven whole years watching them dance around each other prior to that, that’s for sure.

He does not know how it’s not as obvious to other people as it is to him. Sure, they might not actually say it outright, but James and Sirius are both very physical people, they show it with their actions better than they could ever tell it with their words.

He sees it in the small gestures.

He sees it when James falls asleep studying over a pile of books the night prior to a big exam, and Sirius will reach over and gently pry the glasses off the tip of his nose so it does not leave marks on his face the next day, pausing just for a moment to admire his restful, sleeping face with a small, fond smile before he settles down to sleep besides him instead of going to his own bed.

He sees it in the way James is the first to tell that his friend is agitated by something, even when it isn’t obvious to anybody else, just by the very subtle change in his breathing pace, or the way he rests his hand against the wooden surface of the desk to drum his fingers against it; in the way James instinctively reaches out his hand to close it over Sirius’ under the table, squeezing it tightly and rubbing soothing circles into his skin.

He sees it in the way Sirius can wear his stern, cold mask around everybody else, purposefully making himself as unapproachable as possible, even so much as harsh on his worse days, but all it takes is one small pout or a shy smile from James to break that facade and pull a genuine laugh out of him; when James drapes himself all over him upside-down from the back of the couch, blinking up innocently and grinning at him like he is completely oblivious to whatever it is that’s so visibly been on his mind all day, and Sirius is suddenly smiling, and calling him names, pulling him closer to ruffle his hair and to strangle him in a chokehold.

In the way they both always save the seat next to them - whether it’s a Quidditch match, or breakfast at the Great Hall, or a studying session at the library, it’s an unspoken rule of sorts that Sirius Black and James Potter always sit together, and if you have any intentions of messing up that order, then you are in for some very big trouble.

In the way they both have their eyes on the ball during a match, but on each other first. In the complete, absolute look of pure fear in Sirius’ grey eyes when he sees the bludger hit James; in the way he almost falls off the broom himself in his hasty rush to descend so he can catch him before he hits the ground; in the way he refuses to let go even for a second, does not want to leave him alone even after Pomfrey has assured him over and over again that he will be completely fine, and that nothing critical has happened;

In the way James only stirs, showing a first sign of consciousness the morning after, when he hears Sirius’ voice, leaning into it and reaching out for the other, clutching at his hand weakly on instinct even before he is fully awake; in the way Sirius looks like he wasn’t really properly breathing up until that moment, his eyes shining with relief, voice a little wet as he leans closer to press a kiss to the other’s forehead, laughing shakily when the first thing that James lets out through a low, sleepy mumble is “did we win”.

Sirius will roll his eyes at any half-arsed insult directed at him, but when someone mentions James it makes fire ignite in his eyes and his hands curl up into fists. James will brush off any comments thrown at him, even Remus and Lily’s, completely disregarding any warning, or request, or plea they might have for him unless it fits his current agenda, but just one quick look from Sirius is enough to stop him in his tracks, suddenly prepared to abandon everything just for him.

He sees it in the way they hurt for each other and celebrate for each other; cry together and laugh together.

He sees it in the way something in Sirius’ eyes dies forever on the night of 31 October, 1981.

#if you dont want the angst you can just pretend the last line doesnt exist #i love them sm <3 #pronsfoot #starbucks #james/sirius #sirius/james #james x sirius #sirius x james #my writing

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charlotterhea · 1 year

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Rarepair Tag Game

Thank you for tagging me, @danpuff-ao3! 🥰

Rules: List the top rarepairs that you like outside of your OTP, and why you ship it! (Criteria for what makes a rarepair is up to your own discretion.)

Tagging: @cissykenway @snapeysister @echoofawind @giosnape @impure0purest @dilute-flower @enfinizatics @parumleo and as always everyone who likes to ramble a bit about their ships. There's too much arguing and too little gushing in fandom these days. 💙

I have to admit, I don't really have ships besides my OTP that I actively seek out and read or write so most of these are more intriguing to think about. Maybe I'll read a story or two about them someday but at this point, I've got still so many unread Snamiones on my reader that I hardly stray from them. XD

Still, there are a few I think are fascinating...

Severus/Sirius

Don't know if they are considered a rarepair but for me they fit the bill. ^^ I've actually written with them already but not really read much from other authors so I have a lot of feelings about these two idiots regarding my own plot (that I will at one point rewrite because I wasn't able to do it justice when I wrote it years ago). Occasionally, I am a fan of hate sex and while I don't really see that with Hermione and Severus, I can almost not picture Sirius and Severus anything different. They are the epitome of 'kill me or fuck me, there's no in between'. I love the fight for dominance and all the snarky and witty comebacks. I love how feral you can go with them. It's a ship best served rough. And if I like it a bit more palatable, I love to make them a threesome with Hermione (or a foursome with Hermione and therapy? ^^). She has a hard time keeping them from killing each other but she gets a pleasurable reward. :D

Severus/Filch

Similar to you, @danpuff-ao3, Delphi got me to love a ship that I will probably never write myself or read from anyone else but them. There's just no way anybody else could do it better. XD Filch is a rather unpleasurable character in canon since we only experience him through the students' eyes. But one has to wonder what kind of life he had and what's underneath all of that grumping and threatening. And who is a better way to explore that than Severus? I think they have a lot in common; if Severus were a Squib and lived amongst witches and wizards, I'm sure he would become even more like Filch than he already is. So it's intriguing (and quite hot) to put them in a culture dish, shake it a bit and see what happens - especially when Severus is still a student. It's not a ship I engage with often but I enjoy it every time I do.

Draco/Charlie

Never read or wrote anything with them, but @echoofawind put a bee in my bonnet when they mentioned it a while ago. 😂 The thing is: I don't like Draco. And I usually headcanon Charlie as being aro/ace and his life revolving solely around dragons. But I think I can make an exception with both when that exception is pairing Charlie with the only human dragon we get in the books. XD I don't know if I will ever have enough feelings for them to actually write about them but every now and then I think about what might happen on the sidelines of my Snamione plots in Romania. We don't know an awful lot about Charlie so there's a lot to discover there, and maybe he would be even able to make Draco a somewhat better person. That little shit could do good with falling in love with a bloke that he considers a blood traitor. And the ship promises a lot of denial and drama and I'm always down for that.

Neville/Draco

Same goes for these idiots. And I actually have written a longer story with them (it's not translated yet). My dislike of Draco wasn't always as strong as it is now (though I always preferred a more canon-compliant depiction of him and not the polished A+ student skilled smoothly perfect guy fanon often makes of him) and I have to admit, I had a lot of fun writing it. Neville and Draco are just funny as fuck! And that's all I need say about them. Except for maybe: the drama! Can you imagine Draco bringing Neville fucking Longbottom to present him to his parents? Or Neville bringing Draco fucking Malfoy to his gran? I ended my story before I got to that point of their relationship but tbh, sometimes I think about writing a sequel only for all of that drama. ^^

Lavender/Parvati

I never read a story solely about them but they are a background pairing in some of @morbidmuch's Snamiones and I always enjoyed the way they were portrayed. They are just sweet and wholesome and after sharing a dorm for seven years, I'm quite sure there isn't a lot that could get them to break up once they decide to be together. They just know each other, they've always been there for each other, and although I normally love the drama I sometimes enjoy some sweetness in between. ^^

Katie/Ron

Once again: Never read about them but they are a background pairing in one of my stories and will be in my current WIP. A lot of writers pair Ron with Lavender when they write Snamione but tbh, I don't think they would be happy in the long run. Ron never really was in love with Lavender and she deserves better than to be a number-two choice. So I thought about who else might fit Ron and eventually, I came up with Katie. She went through a lot in the war as well, all of that trouble with the necklace, being under the influence of Imperio, fighting with the DA... And she's a Quidditch player. I think she and Ron would have a lot in common and to talk about. They could be good for each other.

There are a lot more pairings that I like but neither of them are rarepairs. ^^ I'm surprisingly fine with a lot of the canon ships considering that Snamione is my OTP. Hinny is often a background pairing in my stories; I do love a good depiction of Romione (especially if it's a good depiction of how their relationship went wrong before she settles with Severus ^^); I have a soft spot for Remadora; Bill and Fleur are just a perfect match. But the above are some ships that I sometimes think about and if there will ever be a time when I've got enough of Snamione I might consider writing about them. ^^

#tag game #rarepairs #shipping #sirius/severus #charlie/draco #filch/severus #neville/draco #lavender/parvati #katie/ron

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