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rootbeerworshiper · 2 months

Text

under the neon lights

chris sturniolo x fem!reader

based on these reqs: @inlovewithmattstur

warnings: angst with a very fluffy ending! and not proofread lolz

love, sienna <3

you’ve been best friends with Chris since freshmen year and the two of you are quite literally attached at the hip.

ongoing jokes about the two of you being a couple were all too common, and you can’t even be suprised at these remarks because in reality you and him were incredibly close.

normal friends don’t hold hands constantly and fall sleep cuddling, normal friends don’t catch each other staring and cause the other to become flustered, normal friends don’t spend every waking moment thinking about the other—but that was your dynamic with the boy, confusing, complicated, and anything but normal.

you often slept over at his house, Chris was never one to like sleeping alone, insisting he sleeps better with another body in the bed—and you didn’t mind.

the problem with this weird dynamic is how badly you wish things were different.

you wish your highschool experience involved going to prom with him, with a corsage laying on your wrist and a boy to kiss your hand as he greets you.

every night you imagine what it would feel like to be loved publicly, for someone to not shut up about how much they love you.

it’s impossible not to imagine cute dates and tiny acts of pda that actually mean the world.

you want romance—but instead your in love with your best friend.

on this particular night the two of you spent your time watching old videos from highschool—some more embarrassing than others.

“oh my god i cannot believe i wore that to school what was i doing?” your shocked expression causes him to laugh, his arm wrapped around your shoulder while your own arm wraps around his waist. “okay okay that’s enough of that let’s move on please” you practically cry out out of embarrassment, the boy just throwing his head back in a fit of laughter you can feel on your arm.

“i don’t think it was that bad” he says in between laughs. “to be fair i rotated the same five pairs of sweats every week so i can’t talk”

“our style just took a second to develop that’s for sure” you smile, squeezing Chris’ side slightly before relaxing into the touch once more.

the two of you continue scrolling through old snapchat memories and failed vlogs, laughing practically on repeat for an hour, the only thing lighting the room was the light illuminating from his phone.

“holy shit how is it two am already?” you sit up slightly, caught off guard by how fast time went by with your favourite person.

he smiles slightly, as if a lightbulb just entered his head. “wanna do something?” he asks, looking up at you with a look that can convince you to do anything, a look that consistently fills your stomach with butterflies that you consciously ignore.

“like what? last time i checked, neither of us have our license and Matt’s sleeping” you reply, unsure where he’s going with this. you toy with his fingers, tracing along the length of each once while he begins to speak.

“we could walk to the gas station that’s right over here, like we used to do during covid” he says, eyes focused on your hands as you continue playing with his fingers—what you don’t know is how incredibly much he cherishes your touch, like electricity is running through your connected fingers.

you smile at the memory of you and Chris back in Boston, sneaking out at three am to sit at the skatepark and eat the food purchased at the local gas station. “sure, i’ve missed that”

so the two you make your way out of bed, and you throw on one of Chris’ hoodies before joining him in quietly making your way out of the house—not wanting to wake up either of his brothers.

the walk is peaceful, streets illuminated by warm coloured street lamps and a bright moonlight that showcases the many stars littered across the black sky—for a moment it feels like your back in Boston.

Chris always insists on having background music, so your shared playlist played softly from the phone in his pocket as you walk along the sidewalks.

not a lot is said on the walk to the familiar gas station, and not a ton needed to be said, comfortable silence filling the space between two bodies as the neon lights from the convenience store light up your face a fluorescent white shade.

you enter the shop—Chris holding the door open for you and following shortly behind you as you head straight to the drink section.

the boy settles on a sweet tea and you yourself decide on a white monster. “do we want any snacks?” you ask, shutting the door to the commercial fridge.

“i could fuck up a nerds rope and some cool ranch doritos” he replies, causing you to smile because once again, it felt like old times, his snack decision hitting you with a wave of nostalgia.

and so you get just that, two of each snack that’s now stored in a small plastic bag that Chris holds as he once again opens the door for you to exit.

you ultimately decide to just sit outside the gas station, bright lights illuminating the tops of your heads as you sit down and begin to pull out the snacks—Chris’ music still playing quietly in the background.

“are you getting major deja vu or is that just me?” you ask, ripping open a bag of your favourite doritos as the boy takes a sip of his iced tea.

“one hundred percent but to be very fair we’ve done this exact thing like a hundred times” he laughs softly, a laugh that never fails to bring you serenity.

it’s silent again, the only noises to be heard are the rap songs playing from the iphone that lies on the cement and the crumbing of your dorito bags.

“i’m really happy we’re still friends, i don’t know who i’d be without you” Chris speaks up, gaze fixated on the gas pumps ahead of you.

you laugh at the sudden switch in tone, looking in his direction only to be met with his side profile, that alone causes the speed of your heartbeat to pickup. “way to get sappy all of a sudden”

“i just appreciate you that’s all” he looks to you now, meeting your gaze, making an eye contact with you that feels different than normal, maybe more intentional.

his gaze now switches from your eyes to a lower portion of your face, eyes making contact with your lips while your own eyes scan his face for any telling emotions.

“Chris stop looking at me like that” you try and joke, turning your gaze away to see his eyes still just as fixated on you as before.

“why? what if i just wanna admire my best friend?” he says softly, licking his lips and coating a thin layer of glistening saliva over them—but immediately his choice of words put you off.

this is a game you’ve played with him before. his overt friendliness that comes off as incredibly flirty and your hopeless romantic tendencies conflicting and instantly making things weird between the two of you.

“i’m not doing this with you i-“ you choose to stop speaking, already felling the pit in your stomach that is fighting back the urge to let out a sob.

normal friendships aren’t this hard.

his eyebrows immediately furrow, showing off his insane amount of cluelessness as you take a deep breath, allowing the dry, night dazed air to enter your lungs. “y/n i don’t understand what’s happening right now, are you okay?” he says, his voiced laced with a sense of concern.

“no i’m not okay!” you stand up, dusting your hands off on your sweats biting your lip to suppress any sadness dwelling. he stands up too, but still containing an innocence in his eyes that drives you insane.

“i can’t keep doing this!” you cry out. at this point you’ve given up on caring about weird looks from the cashier or other cars driving by, overtaken by pure anger that’s been smoking within you, ready to explode at any moment.

“doing what y/n? speak to me” he replies, concern overtaking his delicate face as he walks ever so slightly closer to you, subconsciously hoping to make you feel better.

but you pull away immediately, keeping a safe distance between you and the brunette. “whatever the fuck this is Chris” you motion between you and the boy with your hands. “you can’t keep looking at me and expect me not to feel something for you! it’s not fair that you say the most butterfly inducing shit and follow it up with ‘my best friend’. what am i supposed to do with that?”

every thought you’ve had about this friendship pours out of your mouth as tears well up in your eyes, threatening to pour out at any moment.

“i’m sorry i gave you the wrong impression i never meant to-“

“fuck off Chris. seriously fuck off. i don’t need to hear you reject me. i don’t want to have feelings for you. this would all be easier if i didn’t, i think we just need space” you begin to turn away from him, grabbing your things off the paved entrance.

you muster up the courage to say one last thing before walking away, a shakiness overtaking your bottom lip. “i shouldn’t have expected this to be any different. i should’ve known that this is just the way you are and i shouldn’t have been so stupid.”

a wet tear trails down your cheek, guiding alongside your nose as you speak. “was any of it ever real?”

it’s clear that by ‘any of it’ you’re referring to the romance you felt spark between the two of you, even he knows that—but he stays.

he stays exactly where he is and his mouth remains shut.

“i hope we can figure out our shit but right now i’m done. with you, with this. done.” with that you walk away, your back facing the boy as you increase the speed of your steps, eager to leave this shitty situation.

his heart drops at this. the last thing he wants is space. he adores you and he doesn’t want your friendship to be put on pause for any reason.

he wants to be able to tell you that he likes you in that way too. that every time silence fills the space between you he fights the urge to kiss you. and that he can’t help but think of you anytime someone asks if he’s single because for whatever reason when he’s with you he feels everything but alone.

he’d kill to grab your hand, to stop you from walking away and tell you how obsessed with you he is, but it’s not that simple—nothing about this relationship is.

deep down Chris knows exactly what you want.

you want a relationship. you want to go on dates and hold hands in public and put a label on how you feel for one another—that couldn’t be further from what he wants.

which is why he stands there—the neon lights reflecting in his teary eyes as your back faces him, as you leave him there all alone with his thoughts.

to him it all happened so fast, like a car spinning out of control, slipping on ice until it meets its untimely demise. this was all out of his control, and what was he supposed to do?

commitment is terrifying.

going on dates and posting each other on important anniversaries was his nightmare for so long, the idea of that being genuinely off putting.

but the idea of never having you in his life again?

the idea of not hearing you laugh at his stupid jokes, clutching your stomach with a huge grin on your face or listening to your calm, patterned breaths as he falls asleep next to you?

that was so much worse.

all of a sudden everything clicks.

he was in love with you.

he is in love with you.

all this time he knew you were different than other friends, but his feelings towards you weren’t something he was conscious of.

but it makes sense now, why he got all flustered whenever you teased him, why you had so much power over him in ways that were embarrassing.

the realization hits him like a brick, his feet planted onto the pavement below him, his mind unable to think about anything else but you.

but you’re gone. in the time that it took Chris to figure out his conflicting thoughts you had walked back to the house, fully prepared to sleep on the couch and gave Matt drive you home first thing in the morning.

it can’t be over like this, you can’t be over like this.

so he runs, like a fucking idiot he leaves behind his snacks placed against the conscience store wall and he runs.

you continue walking down the street, nothing but soft sobs escaping your shivering mouth as you think about every memory of Chris you cherished so close to your heart.

like when he wrote you letters telling you how happy he was that you were in his life, folded up and placed in an envelope. you were one of few people that were able to read his messy handwriting, but based on his proper punctuation and attention to writing his words more clearly, it was obvious he took his time. for you.

or that time when you went to the fair with him—the kid hates rides, hates them. but he also knows just how much you love them, so that night he swallowed his fear, holding your hand and going on every ride with you so that you wouldn’t be alone.

or the forehead kisses he would give you as you worked through a difficult assignment in school, his soft words of motivation that got you to graduation.

in what world is that casual?

you roll your eyes at his previous statement. he just gave you ‘the wrong impression’ as if what he did could have been interpreted in literally any other way.

you’re too caught up in your own thoughts, trying to find an answer to the never ending puzzle that is Chris Sturniolo to even notice the footsteps behind you, the pace slowing as they get closer to you.

until they stop. “y/n” Chris speaks, clearly out of breath.

before you even turn around you roll your eyes. “i just wanna sleep, can we talk about this another time please? i cant keep thinking about it”

the hand that’s softly placed on your shoulder tells you otherwise, so you turn around, now facing Chris who looks like he’s on the verge of tears.

once he catches his breath he looks at you with pleading eyes. “can i just speak?”

you nod, biting your lip to avoid any more snide comments, it’s clear he cares, that much you can give him.

he takes one more deep breath, as if he’s about to run a marathon with his voice. “i was confused. i was confused and i was so stupid and i don’t know what i was thinking”

you just stand there at look at him, wiping away your tears as he speaks. “it was all real, all of it. i just got so scared because it all felt too real. i just-“ his voice is shaky, and it’s evident that he’s holding back tears.

“you have always been more than a friend to me. this whole time i’ve been so completely obsessed with you and everything about you and i haven’t been able to think straight because every time i look at you i have to stop myself from kissing you” he runs his hand through his soft hair, struggling to look at you when he speaks.

he inhaled another breath, the air shakily filling his lungs. “but i never did, mostly because i didn’t think i was good enough for you. you deserve someone so amazing and caring and romantic and everyday i wondered if i’d ever get there. i wanted to get there so bad because i wanted you. i’m not a relationship kind of guy” he sniffles. “i mean i’ve barely even been on a real date and i’m twenty years old”

he shakes his head, trying his best to get his point across. “but none of that matters when i look at you because everytime i see you it all goes away. every fear of commitment and- and realness goes away.” tears creep out of his blue eyes, but he’s quick to wipe them away with his palms. “god y/n i’m so fucking in love with you that the thought of you walking away from me made my heart hurt”

you’ve never seen him this vulnerable before. sure, he was always honest with you, but right now he just looks so- hopeless.

he finishes speaking, shaking out his hands slightly as if to relieve tension that formed in his joints as he spoke.

you’re not entirely sure what to say, so you don’t speak, instead pulling the boy into a much needed hug, burying your face into his chest and wrapping your arms around his waist.

he doesn’t react at first, in shock initially at the sudden closeness, but it doesn’t take long for him to pull you in impossibly closer to him, one hand placed on your back and another on the back of your head.

he rests his face on the top of your head, practically burying his lips in your hair as his hand rubs your back.

you pull out slightly, keeping your arms on his side as you look at him, one last tear crawling down your cheek.

immediately his hands comes to your face, cupping your jawline while his thumb wipes away the tear drop. “why are you crying now?” he furrows his eyebrows, a slight playfulness to his tone.

you giggle, leaning into his touch. “i think these are happy tears now”

“well it’s a good thing you look beautiful even you cry” he smiles softly, holding eye contact with you as you look up at him.

“yeah why’s that?” you tease.

he leans in slightly closer, mumbling slightly as he speaks. “because i’d really like to kiss you now”

your heart flutters at this, and everything feels good again. you have Chris and that’s all you need. “what’s taking you so long?” you smile, the boy immediately leaning in fully and attaching his lips to yours carefully.

his hand still rests on your cheek, only deepening the kiss further before you start smiling, causing him to pull back as you widen your eyes.

“what was that for?” he laughs softly.

“i’m gonna sound like the corniest mother fucker if i say what i’m thinking so i’m just gonna kiss you again” you smile, leaving back in once more, if you weren’t already obsessed with him you definitely are now.

it’s a short lived kiss, the two of you are exhausted at this point, but it still means everything to you.

he wraps his arm around your shoulder now, pulling you into a side hug and kissing the top of your head. “i think after my whole ‘i’m in love with you’ monologue i take the prize for corniest fucker”

you laugh, beginning to walk down the poorly lit street. “never though i’d see the day, Christopher Owen Sturniolo is a cheese ball”

“okay that’s enough of that i’m going back to the gas station” he jokingly turns away before you pull him back to you again.

“i like it when your corny, it’s hot” you mumble, causing the boy to pause in his steps, his arm still around you.

“guess i’ll have to do it more often then yeah?” words that simple shouldn’t have the effect on you that they do, but you’re a smiling mess regardless.

“yeah”

a/n: had no idea how to end this LMAOO hopefully it fulfilled some of your needs for angst

i tried so hard to make chris accurate but i don’t know the man like that💔

taglist: @lolasnoww-blog @tastesousweet @ivypoison @disturbedwoodelf @sturnswift @junnniiieee07 @ellie-luvsfics @sturnified @s7urnfilms @madsdogst @justlivinglive @sluttycupsworld @flowerxbunnie @mbsbaby @sturniolossmut @lustfulslxt @69isabella69 @sturnioloslurps @dracoflaco @mattslatinagf @raekensluver @worldlxvlys

#sturniolo triplets #sturniolo #chris sturniolo #chris sturniolo oneshot #chris sturniolo fluff #chris sturniolo angst #christopher sturniolo #chris sturniolo x reader

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strniohoeee · 3 months

Note

chris giving reader the princess treatment

My Baby

Pairing: Chris Sturniolo X Female Reader

Synopsis: Y/N is Chris’ baby, and he would do anything for her. Even if it means walking in the rain because he loves her🌱

Warnings⚠️: None but like this shit gave me butterflies and this isn’t even my man LORDDD😭😭 also it’s kinda short

Song for the imagine: So Into You- Tamia

I really like what you’ve done to me

I can’t really explain

I am so into you

I slid my socks on and grabbed my purse and phone, quickly spritzing myself with perfume as I shut the light and walked out my room.

Placing my phone and purse down my apartment door rattled with the knock of a fist. I slowly walked over to the door and opened it. Smiling as I saw Chris

“Hi baby” he said leaning down and pecking my lips

“Come in” I said moving out the way for him to walk in

I walked ahead of him and let him shut my door, turning around to be surprised with a bouquet of flowers.

“Chrissss” I said with an open mouth and bright eyes

“For my princess” he said winking at me

“Thank you my love” I said taking the flowers to the kitchen and placing them in a vase with water

“You’re welcome baby” he said leaning on the island as he watched me place them on the counter

“I just have to put my shoes on and then we can go” I said

I grabbed my purse and phone and walked over to the shoe rack, Chris tracking behind

I couldn’t slip my foot into my platform uggs, so I placed my hand out to balance myself when suddenly Chris grabbed my hand and helped me balance myself

“Thank you” I said looking up at him as I placed my other boot on and he nodded while smiling

He opened the door for me and let me walk out, shutting the door behind me and allowing me to lock it.

“Before we go to the mall, do you want to hit up Starbucks?” He asked me as we walked down the stairs

“Yes my love” I said looking back at him

When we got to his car (ik he can’t drive but shhhh) he opened the passenger door for me allowing me to get in before shutting the door

Hopping in he backed out and we made our way to my local Starbucks. Waiting in the drive thru line as we talked about what was new which wasn’t much because I saw him about everyday.

We ordered our drinks and he paid.

“Thank you but it should’ve been my treat” I said taking a sip of my coffee

“You pay? Don’t ever say no outlandish shit like that again” he said raising a brow at me

“Chris please” I said playfully smacking him

We opted for an outdoor outlet mall because it would be less crowded. Chris parked and came to my side opening the door and grabbing my hand to help me out

I was wearing leggings with no pockets and brought a small purse so I was struggling carrying my phone, coffee and bag.

Before crossing over to the street Chris’s grabbed my purse and held it for me

“I can hold it” I said laughing

“I got it, you’re struggling to hold everything” he said looking both ways so we could cross

“It was fine babe” I said walking across the street

Chris slowly came around me walking on the outside and keeping me close to the parked cars.

“And beat me looking this stylish holding your bag? I mean look at me I’m a babe” he said posing with the purse

“That is true, you do look cute” I said shrugging my shoulders

“Case settled” he said winking at me as we walked towards some stores

Chris and I were shopping for a bit, and anything I grabbed he took and got me. I appreciated it, but this boy was treating me too well.

“Christopherrrrr” I whined as he got on the line to check out

“Y/NNNNNN” he whined back looking at me

“Why are you buying me everything” I said huffing at him

“Because you’re my girl? And I want to spoil you” he said shrugging his shoulders

“But you always spoil me and plus I have those boots in black” I said pointing to the platform uggs I was currently wearing

“Okay and now you have them in blue duhh” he said smirking at me

It was a pointless argument because he would never tell me no. So I sucked it up and let him buy me my shoes.

We went to a few stores he liked and I was able to return the favor and get him some shoes and shirts that he liked.

The mall had a restaurant, so we decided to eat dinner and relax our feet.

“Thank you Chris for everything you do, I really appreciate it” I said taking a sip of my soda

“Of course baby I got you” he said nodding his head

“Want to spend the night?” I asked him

“Yes” he said almost instantly

“Good and then we can take a bubble bath and I’ll give you a back rub” I said smiling at him

“Ouuu you’re too good to me” he said caressing his heart

“And maybe even- but I was cut off my him

“Maybe even a dick rub?” He said laughing

“Christopher” I said bluntly giving him a glare

“I’m kiddingggg I’m just joking” he said laughing

“Yeah you better be or you can sleep on the couch” I said pointing my finger at him

Chris and I had finished our dinner and he decided to get a dessert. Our personal favorite. a warm brownie with vanilla ice cream.

“This is why I love you because you let me get dessert Nick and Matt never let me get one” he said frowning

“Aww my poor baby” I said pouting and rubbing his chin

The waiter came back with our dessert, but they only gave us one spoon. There was something so intimate about sharing a spoon. It seems corny, but the idea always gave me butterflies. To be so close and in love that sharing a spoon didn’t seem gross or weird.

Chris took the spoon and cut the brownie getting some ice cream with it and brought the spoon towards me. I opened my mouth and he put it in my mouth.

Being fed dessert by the love of my life was not on my bingo cards, but I’m glad it was happening.

We sat sharing the dessert, my eyes darting to him as he looked out the window licking the brownie off the spoon like it was nothing. It made my heart explode and my stomach flutter. I mean sharing a utensil is nothing compared to the things we’ve done, but it made me flustered….

Soon after we finished and when the check came he almost immediately snatched it from the table not letting me take a glance.

“I just wanted to look” I said

“Yeah right I know your trick your pretty eyes can’t fool me” he said looking at me over the checkbook

I playfully rolled my eyes and smirked.

After paying we grabbed our bags and walked outside and realized it was raining

“Oh shit” I said stepping back under the awning

“Give me the bags and I’ll go get the car” Chris said

“No it’s fine I’ll walk” I said looking at him

“Babe just give me the bags and I’ll be back” he said taking the bags from me

Chris quickly walked to the car across the street, smiling to myself at his actions.

About five minutes later he drove up to the restaurant putting his hazard lights on and getting out. Running over to me with a hoodie in his hand and placing it over my head as we ran to the car. He opened the passenger door for me allowing me to get in without barely getting wet

However Chris was soaked when he got in the driver seat.

“Aww Chris you’re all wet I feel bad” I said as he put the heat on and drove off

“It’s okay baby I’ll change at your house” he said looking at me and smiling

When we got back to the house we placed our stuff down and headed to the bathroom. Taking a warm bubble bath together to warm ourselves up. Chris shampooed my hair for me and me rubbing his back as we indulged in the warm water.

I was soo in love with him and all he does for me<3

The End

I’m just rolling these bad boys outttt. I hope you enjoyed this one. The rest of my stories are all Matt LMAOAOA😭😭 love yall 🥹🖤🖤

-J💅🏽

#sturniolo triplets #sturniolo x reader #sturniolo fanfic #sturniolo triplets imagines #chris sturniolo imagine #Chris Sturniolo X reader #christopher sturniolo imagine

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luvergirl777 · 1 year

Text

For Science | S. Reid

Plot: Spence asks you to teach him the one thing he doesn’t know, and can’t exactly learn on his own. Your best friend since college finally wants to better understand female anatomy, specifically how to please it.

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Best Friend Reader

Contents: Smut, New York, a lot of dumb banter between them, etc. BAU team! Love confessions. Spencer is dumb, but so is the reader lol.

________________________________________________________________

Reid wasn’t hard to read for you, you’d known the boy since he was 18 and working towards his doctorate. Granted, you were also 18 and just beginning your bachelor's, but that’s besides the point. He’s recently joined the BAU, and if what he tells you is true, he’s doing pretty well for himself. (Reid is terrible at telling lies to you, you call them out every time.) Hailed “boy genius,” and “pretty boy” by his coworkers. Spencer almost cried with you agreeing with both nicknames, even going as far as to pick up pretty boy for your own use.

Since you know Spencer so well, you know immediately that his inviting you to New York with his team is odd. There’s something he’s not telling you, it’s clear throughout his entire demeanor, but you don’t push him too much. If it were just a normal vacation, Spence would’ve planned it all out weeks ahead of time. What you guys would do, where you would go, how long you’d spend in one area, the best restaurants in the local area, the least busy times to go sightseeing. He’d have it down to a minute-by-minute playbook in his head, not a second difference. So when you ask, “What’re we gonna do there?”

And he replies, “I dunno, New York City things?”

It’s immediate red flags, sirens, and wailing in your head. Skeptically, you agreed nonetheless. Packed your bags, got on the plane, dealt with awkward introductions and banter between you and Morgan over the use of pretty boy, and lastly learned Hotch is more intimidating than Spencer lets on when telling you stories. After a suffocating plane ride sitting across a table from Hotch, you finally feel like you can breathe when you and Reid enter the rental. A cute little apartment-style rental with an open layout, cute décor, and very healthy plants in the window. Sitting down with cold water from the fridge, leaning back on the comfortable couch, you really feel like you’re living the New York City life.

“I need you to teach me how to please a woman.” It’s fast and rushed, Spencer, spewing out his words before he has a chance to rethink them, maybe bite his tongue for the entire trip.

Your water is spitting out, a couple of drops landing on your chest and the rest in your hand. You’re lurching up in a coughing fit in no time, setting the bottle down as you struggle to clear your windpipes. “You want me to what?!” Looking over at him, Spencer is just about as nervous as when he first asked if you consider the two of you friends. Nervously playing with his hands, shifting from side to side on his feet, diverting his eye contact away from you. He readjusts his clothes, a signature button-up, tie, and cardigan over it with basic dress pants. His feet are clad with his signature black and white converse, forcing you to remember how young he actually is. Loosening his tie, he swallows hard. There’s no hint that he’s joking, no tug at the corner of his lips after he tells a joke that normally doesn’t land right.

“I’m not joking.” Yeah, no shit Spencer. “There’s this girl, okay! I’ve been reluctant to tell you because I was afraid you wouldn’t believe me. She’s beautiful, Lila is her name. On a mission once, she said she really liked me. And we kissed and cuddled, and uhm, grinded, but that's it! I didn’t want to go too far because I was nervous!”

“You’re seeing her while we’re on our trip, huh?” You’re in disbelief. You can’t exactly say you’re surprised, as you knew Spencer was hiding something when he invited you onto the trip in the first place. However, this isn’t the secret, withheld information you were expecting. He nods his head, read like a book and he knows it. He offers you a: tonight, actually through his embarrassment. “Ugh, fine. FOR SCIENCE, only for science. Whattya wanna know? I know you probably have some sort of plan.”

“Yes, yes. For science, only.” His grin is shit-eating, you know him so well. He pretends to think, recalling all of the questions he’s memorized in that brain of his. “What feels the best for women? I took multiple anatomy courses in college, so of course, I know where the labia majora is, and the minora, and the clitoris, urethra, vulva, vagina, G-spot is. I read that most guys are too rough, or they rub the wrong areas such as the labia minora. I also know that some women can come from internal stimulation, but not all are able to or it’s being done wrong. What feels good, and what pressure feels good for women? How do I get her excited, too, you know? In movies, when they begin kissing they rush and throw their clothes all over the floor and leave a trail to the bedroom-”

“Okay, that’s enough.” You interrupt before he gets going too much and talks you into a coma. “Being good at things, especially with sex, comes from experience and knowing what she likes and doesn’t like. Everyone is different. Morgan likes to be flirted with and what about you? Do you like it when girls hit on you and pull on your tie?”

“No.” Spencer gives you a definite answer.

“See? Everyone is different. What does she do when you’re together? Maybe that can give you some insight that you missed, because as smart as you are, you’re bad at reading signals.” Spencer knows you’re right, moving to sit next to you on the couch.

“She likes to be close, skin-to-skin contact I suppose. Which usually spurs from-”

“Spence.” You interrupt him.

“Right, right. She likes when I hold her head in my hands, and gently hold the back of her neck. She really, really likes to kiss my neck and jaw. Doesn’t really like being rough with me, at least. Maybe it’s because I’m not super strong, afraid she’ll uhh, break me, ha.” He jokes, earning a small smile from you as you nod, acknowledging the small joke. “I just don’t know when to move on, I don’t want to move too quickly and scare her or hurt her.”

You can’t help but sigh, throwing your head back softly. “You have to read her cues, Spence. Watch how she reacts to you, what sounds she makes, what sounds she doesn’t make.”

“So I go off her cues? Body language, micro expressions, I can do that! I’m pretty good at that!” Spencer smiles hard, nodding his head. “So we kiss, hold each other close, heavy petting, and just go from there. I want to please her first, though. Make her have an orgasm first before we move on with anything.”

“Can I kiss you?”

“Huh?” He’s dumbfounded, opening and closing his mouth. His eyes blow wide, brows immediately raising with them. It feels as though his mouth has run dry. Spencer fixes his hair, nervous, as he pushes some curls back behind his ears.

“To show you, unless you and uhm, Lila are official. Then forget I asked. I just figured it’s easier to show you than it would be to try and explain with words.” You shrug, trying to play it cool and not die from embarrassment in front of him. Spencer has a blush spread across his face as he nods, eventually making its way up to his ears. Leaning in, you gently press your lips against his, hands quickly finding their way to his hair. It’s awkward at first, Spencer not knowing how to respond as his hand meets the side of your face. “Relax into it, Spence.” You coax, placing your hand over his, encouraging him to relax it and slowly form it to the contours of your jaw.

He does, lips becoming much softer as they slide against your own. Your fingers find their way into his hair, gently pulling at the nape of his neck, forcing his head to tilt back. A small groan slips past his lips before he has a chance to stop it. “That's it, Spence. See, you gently do something, and see how they react to it. If they don’t like it, don’t do it again. If they do, now you know.” You give him more advice, teaching him.

“If I want something, and they’re not making a move to do it, how do I ask?” Spencer asks, voice weak and soft as he mumbles against your lips. “Without being too pushy, I mean?”

“You just ask nicely.” You shrug, “Try it.”

“Can you, uh, can you sit on my lap? If you’re comfortable with that.” Spencer asks shyly, avoiding your eye contact. You can’t help the smile that spreads across your face, swinging your leg over and seating yourself. His brows push together, creating a small crease in between his eyebrows. He’s cute like this, pretty with his hair tucked behind his ears. Your chest press together, Reid’s hands hesitantly resting on your hips and back as he pulls you closer. You lean into it, pushing your chest into his own with a small hum.

“You want to keep going?” You ask softly, one hand resting on the side of his head as the other re-tucks his hair behind an ear. Your lips meet once more, this time more needy and desperate as they slide against one another. “You can ask her if she wants to keep going, too, as I did just now.” You mumble into his mouth before reconnecting your lips.

“This okay?” Spencer asks softly, hands sliding underneath your shirt. His cold hands meet your warm skin, goosebumps created in their wake. Your tongue catches in your mouth, unable to talk as you nod to answer his question. He hikes your shirt up, easily slipping it over your head and placing it gently on the couch next to the both of you. Such a Spencer Reid thing, you briefly think as you peck his lips once more. Placing your own hands underneath his cardigan, you wait for his nod before removing it, moving to the buttons on his top. Spencer's chest heaves, nerves setting in.

“This okay?”

“More than okay. Amazing, actually. Splendid perhaps.” You can’t help but giggle, softly kissing him as you finish unbuttoning his top. “Skin to skin now, I’d recite whatever fact you were about to say earlier but I didn’t let you finish.” You giggle, pressing your cleavage against him. Reid smiles, a fond feeling in his chest that he can’t quite place. “Pretty boy.” You beam hard, the image of Spencer underneath you, flushed pink, slender fingers digging into the soft skin of your hips, lips bright red from kissing.

“Please...don't.” Reid almost whimpers underneath you, hips jerking up into your own. “Do you want…want to continue?” It almost isn’t a question, a rhetoric one maybe.

“Of course, Spence.” You hum softly, holding onto his shoulders and slowly leaning down. Spencer follows without a hitch, slipping in between your legs as your thighs wrap around his waist. His hips gently grind into yours, testing the waters with you. He easily draws out a small whine from you, encouraging him to continue. Grinding slightly harder, you whine louder. He’s picking up your advice quickly and learning quickly. “You can… take off my pants.” You mumble, now your turn to blush underneath his gaze. He does, once again setting them neatly on the table beside the couch.

“I don’t want to hurt you, how do I make sure you’re ready?” He asks, ready to learn once more as his hands rest on your hips. “I know kissing is an arousing action, but there’s more, right? Kissing on your jaw, neck, chest, hips, and erm. Uhm, erm, oral sex?”

“You don’t have to if you don’t want to.” You mumble to him, shrugging softly. “We can just kiss and grind if you’re more comfortable with that.”

“No, no! I want to. I mean, I want to learn from you. I just don't want to make you uncomfortable.” Reid is quick to explain, fingertips digging slightly into the skin underneath them. “Please…can I?” It’s needy, whimpering as he holds your hips.

Taking one of his hands, you gently place it onto your chest, watching as his mind absolutely melts as he holds it in his palms. You nod softly, encouraging him to continue. “Fuck.” Spencer whines, leaning over at his hips as his lips connect with your jaw. His lips are hot against your skin, leaving light marks in their wake as he makes his way to your chest. Your soft moans spur him on, every now and then he lets out a content sigh at your pleasure. Spencer's fingers slink around your back, easily popping open the clasp.

“That easy, really? Are you sure you need my advice, Reid?” You accuse, smiling softly.

“It’s a simple clasp, gimme a break.” Spencer draws, making you laugh. He easily shuts you up as his lips meet your chest, sucking softly and nipping on the sensitive flesh. A small yelp escapes before you can hold it back, Spencer licking over the bite to soothe the pain. It feels good, better than you thought it would. Encouraged, and slightly more confident, he continues his trail down your stomach. “This alright?” He asks, hooking one index finger underneath the side of your panties.

“Yes, Spence. More than okay.” You nod, watching the nerves flash across his face. “Hey, I’ll tell you if you do something wrong, not wrong. Something I don't like, I suppose. Just so you can get an idea of what to do.”

“I know you will.” Spencer smiles up at you, finally sinking down to his stomach in front of you. The sight alone makes your breath hitch, catch deep in your lungs somewhere. Maybe if you were luckier you could’ve got him before Lila did, confesses to him before he actually got serious with her. Shoving it aside, for now, you focus on the pretty boy currently between your legs. Slowly, as if he’s afraid you’ll jump away, he pulls down your panties. Spencer bites softly into the inner sides of your thighs, leaving dark marks in his wake. Whimpering, it takes everything in you not to beg for him to continue.

“You’ll be nice to me, right Spence? No teasing?” You whimper, allowing your hands to slide down to meet the back of his head, curls slipping through your fingers. There’s a glint in his eyes that you almost miss, pupils blown wide as he peers up at you. “Pretty boy will be nice, hm?”

“To you? Always.” Spencer smiles, licking along your core experimentally. He watches your reactions closely, finding what you like and what you don't. He finds what feels right for him too, and finds what gives both of you the most satisfaction. Reid can’t help but grind into the couch beneath him, involuntarily groaning into your clit as his tongue flicks across it.

“Fuck…fuck Spence. You’re better at this, than you let on.” You whimper, voice catching in your throat as you speak. Spencer is better at this than you thought, eating you out as if he hadn’t had a meal for months. Sucking, slurping, and groaning into you as if he had just crossed a desert and you were the first oasis he’d come across. His jaw flexes with each movement, brows pressing together in concentration. You’re not expecting him to take initiative, sliding a slender finger easily into you. You gasp, pulling harder on his hair, closer to your core.

“You’re so whiny, whimpering underneath my touch,” Spencer speaks, more of a tease rather than a statement of fact that he’s so accustomed to. This also catches you off guard, so used to him stating facts. You can’t stop whining as he slides another finger inside of you, curling and hitting all of the right spots. Maybe the anatomy classes are paying off. He works out his speed in no time, pressure, timing, roughness, everything with watching your reactions. “Like this, hm? Like me touching you like this?”

“Yes, Spence. Like it a lot.” You pant, clenching hard around his fingers as he hits all the right spots, never removing his mouth from you either. “Are you, are you gonna let me cum?”

“Fuck, I want nothing more,” Spencer mumbles, continuing with his actions.

“Just a bit more, yeah? Almost there.” You encourage him, teetering on the edge as you focus on the feeling. Glancing down, the sight alone sends you over the edge. Pretty face buried in between your thighs, eyes peering up at you with need, hips involuntarily grinding into the cushions underneath him. You cum hard, moaning his name loudly as you do. Spencer continues until you physically can’t take it, thighs threatening to sandwich his head in between them from how sensitive you were. “Fuck me.” You mumble, hands reaching to pull him over you.

Your lips meet roughly, almost crashing into each other as they connect. You can taste yourself on his lips, moaning softly into his mouth from how dirty it was. “Do you have condoms?”

“Yea-Yeah, in my bag.” Spencer nods over to his bag that sits in the kitchen island, sat aside when you both got in. You basically scramble from underneath him, on a mission to retrieve them.

“You gotta lot of shit in here.” You giggle, rummaging through the contents before finding them. With a satisfied grin, you walk back and present your findings. “Can we continue, Spence?” You're back on his lap, hovering slightly above his lap so you don’t ruin his fancy dress pants. He nods faster than his brain can fully comprehends your words, which is quick. With a small smile, your lips softly reconnect as your fingertips meet his waistband. You easily pull a soft gasp from him, focused on feeling your way around as you unbutton and unzip them. “Lift your hips a bit.”

He follows without question, allowing you to slip them down so they rest on his thighs. Finally, you’re able to seat yourself on his lap, both of you moaning from the much needed friction. Your hips move on their own, humping slowly against his own as you melt into the kiss. “Here, let me.” Spencer mumbles against your lips, hand softly brushing yours as he takes the condom from you. Pulling back, you slide down a bit to allow him access to his boxers. Watching with wide eyes and a salivating mouth, Spencer easily slides his boxers down his hips, tearing the condom open with his teeth.

“You know, you’re not actually supposed to do that because it can rip a hole in-“ You begin, almost mirroring how Spencer goes on his rants.

“Shhh,” Spencer grins at you, “You’re starting to sound a lot like me.” The grin is shiteating, making your cheeks blush pink. Once the condom is on, he’s pulling you against him once more, fingertips roughing digging into the soft flesh of your hips. “I'll let you lead, princess.” Spencer speaks softly, making you quite literally ache.

Slotting your lips together, you allow yourself to grind down onto his cock, getting a feel. Reid whimpers underneath you, sliding between your folds with a wet sound accompanying it. “I’m gonna start now, yeah?” You ask, mind feeling fuzzy with the close proximity. Reaching down, you pump his cock a couple of times before lining yourself up, slowly beginning to slide down onto him. You could cum from Spencer’s whines and whimpers alone, face scrunched up tightly as he bites down on his lower lip. Once you’re fully seated, you allow yourself to reach forward, tangling your fingers in his hair as you kiss him. “Do you like this, pretty boy?” You coo at him, allowing yourself to slowly slide up and down his cock.

“Mmmm, maybe, maybe not.” Spencer whines as you fully slide back, seating yourself once more in one swift roll of your hips.

“What’s the probability of that answer being maybe?”

“Pretty fuckin high.”

It hurts, the way his cock batters your walls, filling you so deep it feels like he’s in your stomach. Hurts how his fingers dig into your hips, helping you move up and down the length of his cock. Hurts how pretty he is underneath you, chests pressed together, lips brushing everyone and then as you moan into each other’s mouths, hair slowly becoming untucked. Hurts how he’s going to do this with another girl within the next week.

“I’m close, Spence.” You mumble, involuntarily clenching around him as you catch his gaze. You press your chest more into him, tug on his hair slightly harder. “Please let me come, please.” You whine, finally breaking eye contact as your head falls into his shoulder. He picks up the slack as your thighs start to slow, legs exhausted from moving. He snaps up into you easily, forcing moans to slip past your lips that you try to muffle into his shoulder. “Bit more, just a bit.” You whine, thighs beginning to shake from how bad you need it. You have to pry one of his hands from your skin, gently guiding it to you clit. Thanking all the gods, Spencer understands immediately.

“C'mon princess, let it go. Cum around me, cum for pretty boy.” He coaxes, lips brushing along your ear as he speaks. And you do, immediately, catching you off guard as you shove your face into the crook of his neck. You want so badly to sink your teeth into him, bite the soft skin underneath you but you don’t for respect of his previous engagements. “Gonna cum, okay?” Spencer asks, waiting for you to nod before allowing himself to. His hips thrust up into you sloppily, both hands once again digging into your hips to help guide down.

“Please Spence, cum in me.” His hips drive up into you, grinding hard as he does. Spencer’s hands squeeze your hips so hard you’d be surprised if there weren’t bruises, making you whine. “Fucking hell, pretty boy.” You groan, finally catching your breathe as you pull yourself from his neck. It’s a sight to see, Spencer’s face so prettily fucked out underneath you. You kiss him, much more tender and soft than you have before, more loving than desperate this time.

“Thank you…for teaching me.” Spencer speaks, awkwardness cutting through the air from his words.

“Oh, of course. Any time.” You fake a grin, slowly beginning to move off of his lap. Your legs hurt as they support your body weight, legs still shaking slightly. You’re shifting through the clothes that are in various places, jokingly tossing Spencer his whenever you come across them. Spencer’s climbing to his feet soon after, buttoning his pants back up. “Also, don’t forget aftercare. Some girls love it, some don’t, so just play it by ear.” You give your last bit of advice, shrugging slightly.

“Right, do you want to do that or?” Spencer asks, words coming out more awkward and dismissive than he meant to.

“Nah, it’s alright. I'll be fine without it.” You smile, beginning to get re-clothed. “I’m probably going to take a shower and pick a room, you get the leftovers. I call first dibs.” You stick your tongue out at him as you make your way to the hall, on your way to find the better room and claim it with your belongings.

“What?! That’s totally not fair, I invited you on the trip!”

“Finders keepers!” You laugh, slipping into the larger, nicer room of the two and immediately looking to door behind you. Your heart breaks with the awkwardness between you that you’re trying to cower up, breaks more than he’s getting ready in the other room to go on his date. You’re just getting out of the shower when there’s a series of small knocks on your door.

“Hey,” Spencer stands on the other side, eyes accidentally looking you up and down in your towel. “I just wanted to let you know I’m heading out, you can order takeout if you’d like. I’ll leave my card on the coffee table in the living room for whenever you’d like.” He’s thinking hard about something, you can tell as he seems distracted as he’s talking to you. You’ve already gotten over the Lila thing, telling yourself that it’s not your business in the first place.

“Thanks Spence, have fun on your date!” You smirk, reaching out of your door to jokingly punch his chest “Knock ’er dead.” He only offers a half hearted laugh, nodding before turning and making his way back down the hall. Odd, but not so odd you’d openly question him. Maybe he’s just nervous before his date? You brush it aside, continuing on with your little night routine that’s otherwise unaffected by todays festivities.

You make your way to the living room after Spencer leaves, order takeout, put on a show while you wait, do a face mask, the whole 9 yards. Your peaceful night is interrupted as the front door opens, scaring you half to death as you jump to the other side of the couch. “Spencer?! What are you doing home, YOU SCARED ME!!” You scold, clutching your chest. He doesn’t answer, just immediately pulls you in to him, kissing you as if he’s starved. “Hold on, hold on?” You ask, pushing his shoulders slightly away. “Did the date not go well?” You ask.

“There was no date, we met up and I told her I didn’t want to continue seeing her.” Reid answers in the most matter of fact tone possible, making you laugh. “She told me I’m a dick and stormed off.” He shrugs, diving back in to kiss you.

“Okay, but why? Am I missing something?” You once again break the kiss, Spencer looking at you as if you were the dumbest person alive.

“Because I think I love someone more.” He kisses you again.

“ME?!”

“Geez, finally you get it.”

Your poor takeout grows cold on the doorstep, hours ticking by. Spencer’s determined to understand how to please a woman, in all positions, ways, methods, and modes possible. “For science,” Of course.

6K notes · View notes

husbandhoshi · 3 months

Text

TO GROW LOVE (AND EAT IT TO THE CORE)

pairing: mingyu x gn!reader wc: 8.1k summary: your whole life, you've only wanted one thing. then you meet mingyu. suddenly you want too much, and you wish the summer never ended. notes: farmer!au, established relationship, angst/hurt/a little comfort

this is a birthday fic for my one and only cat @wuahae ! yes this is about half a year late but what can i say. all good things come with time. thank you for being so kind, funny, and thoughtful (and patient)! not a day goes by where i’m not thankful for our friendship :)

and a million thanks to hana @wqnwoos and jackie @97-liners for helping me with edits. literally you guys are insane writers and i will never stop looking up to you.

i. strawberries (the summer we were young)

When a strawberry is ripe, the seeds push out from the heart of the fruit, as if it's bursting from the inside out.

This is one of the few and only things you've learned by living in Seogwipo, where strawberry season comes like a supernova. The May sun, full and heavy, peels into summer, and the roadside farms open their doors, trying to catch stray vacationers from Jeju City on the other side of the island.

That being said, there are approximately two things to do here. One of them is farm. The other is pretend like you have a life, which is your childhood friend Yizhuo's favorite thing to do when she's back from university on summer break.

Today, this involved convincing her ritzy, too-good Seoul friends that they're missing out on this side of Jeju. (Missing out on what? You're not sure. Perhaps the chipped paint of the mural walls, or the endless flat-topped stretches of seagrass. Yizhuo isn't fooling anyone, but you've always liked stretching your legs out in the bed of her pick-up, even on the long drive to nowhere.)

Unsurprisingly, her friends quickly came to the same conclusion. Just one look at your local strawberry patch, with none of the glamour of the bloated tourist traps in the city, and they decided they'd rather spend the afternoon at the beach.

It was then, between the fragaria blooms, when you met Mingyu. He asked for your name, and the rest was history. Yizhuo and co. scattered like the grasping hands of an overripe dandelion and you learned that he was, one, the newly-graduated son of a pair of local farmers, and two, very, very attractive. Almost too much so, especially for a place like this.

Now he holds up a berry, a bright red murder between his fingers, and tells you to try it.

"You must be delusional if you think i'm taking food from a stranger," you laugh, perched on the fence bordering the field. It sprawls before you, melon stripes on the sunbaked ground.

"No, my name is Mingyu," he replies. "No idea who delusional is." His smile, all bright lip and snaggletooth, tears into the scarlet belly of a newly picked strawberry.

"We all know what happened to Persephone."

"Well, if the underworld was a strawberry patch, I wouldn't mind being stuck there for all of eternity."

"What're you picking all these for, anyway?" you ask, watching Mingyu struggle with his too-big straw hat between the vines. His woven basket bleeds over with little berries.

"Jam. I make it on the very first day of every summer."

"Why?"

"You ask a lot of questions for someone who trespassed on my farm. You're cute, but I won't let you off easy."

He laughs at how you balk, clearly red-handed. You're not sure how to tell him you don't think you were supposed to be here either. You don't do things like sit in the back of trucks, trespass, or talk to pretty farmer boys who take a fancy to you, but it's the summer before you graduate and you're not even sure how long you'll have to continue making bad decisions.

"Are you gonna take my first-born now?" you joke instead. The daylight runs down the rim of Mingyu's hat, trickles down his brow, and you wish you could pour the image of him into a jar and keep it forever.

"No, but I will invite you in for some fresh jam on toast. I baked a loaf this morning." and when you say nothing, he continues. "The strawberries are only good once a year. It's the best you'll ever have. Promise."

It's a whine and a half, and somehow you convince yourself this will be the last bad decision you'll make. You've been here long enough to know that good things don't come twice in Seogwipo, and he is unlikely to be an exception.

Yizhuo blows up your phone, you tie the gingham apron around Mingyu's tiny waist, and the basket turns to blood in the saucepan.

Mingyu is right. Love comes to you in that kitchen, high and red like the sun, and the jam never tastes as good as it does that summer.

ii. watermelon (hollowed out, like a magic trick)

"A good watermelon sounds like a heartbeat."

You watch Mingyu heave the fruit, small and striped, out of his grocery bag. It joins the array of egg sandwiches and banana milks you picked up from the store together earlier. (There should have been chocolate Pepero too, but you split the box on the walk).

You're on a picnic, sprawled out on the outcropping overlooking the water. The path up is basically right behind your house, but you had never cared to visit. It had always been the local makeout spot, a schlocky teen crawl for those with nothing better to do, and yet, with Mingyu stretched out beside you, it seems newer. More exciting.

You're still just friends, or at least that's what you told Yizhuo. But ever since you sat on Mingyu's kitchen counter and ate from his jam-covered spatula, you don't think you've gone a week without seeing him. It's been almost two months, which seems so long and yet not long enough—he makes it easy to be greedy.

"See?" He thumps the watermelon with the heel of his palm. "Try it."

You already went through this entire charade at the grocery store, right in front of all the local aunties, but you indulge him. There's little point to triple checking if it's still ripe, but you think he just likes hitting it.

"It sounds good," you say. "But how are we even gonna eat it? We don't have a knife."

"Watch this." Mingyu procures a coin from his pocket. "You didn't learn this in elementary school? I feel like everyone was doing it."

"Here?" you ask, incredulous.

"Yeah, here. I grew up here too, you know."

He holds the edge of the coin to the skin and slams his palm into it once more, so that it lodges itself into the rind, and begins dragging it around the fruit. You start to wonder if he bought the watermelon just to show you a party trick—not that you mind, though. The strain of his biceps peeks through his rolled up white tee, and you remember why he was able to stop you with just one look back when you first met.

"No way." The watermelon is so ripe, it bleeds around the incision. "I feel like I know everyone here. And I definitely would have remembered you."

"I was probably, like, two grades above you," he replies. "And my parents shipped me off to live with my cousins after elementary school. They said I should get out of Seogwipo and experience the real world."

"Good call. There's nothing here." You watch Mingyu spin the melon over to cut through the other side. The coin catches the sunlight, and it looks like gold. "I wish I left for university. The one here is so small."

"Really?" He pauses to show you his handiwork. The two melon halves roll over on their backs, their cut edge cruel and jagged. "Cool, huh?"

"Impressive," you say. "Honestly. I really didn't think that would work."

"I didn't either when I first saw someone do it. But I’ll try anything once," he replies, ripping open the packaging of the plastic spoon from the bag. "I can't believe you don't like it here."

"You do?"

"Yeah. A lot." He shoves the spoon in his mouth, and you watch the watermelon juice pool around his lips. "I missed home. The trees and the tall grass and the ocean. All the fruits. Everything. I learned to ride a bike, right down there by the water."

"Hm." He passes you the spoon. You don't want to hog it, so you carve out a piece bigger than you need. "Are you gonna work at the farm?"

"Maybe. Haven't decided yet," he says. "I think I want to be here, though. Maybe do something with food, but I want to be home."

"That's funny, because I think I’ve always wanted to live a different life. Or at least one somewhere else."

"You want to go to law school, right?"

"Yeah." Mingyu is right. The watermelon is all sugar, and you would almost feel guilty for eating it if it wasn't technically good for you. "I’ve always wanted to be a lawyer. It's something about the people watching, I think."

"That’s really cool," Mingyu says, mouth full but no less sincere. It's then that you notice your shoulders are almost touching, and your heart crawls back up to your mouth. "You know what you want. I admire that."

He makes it sound like a compliment, but you're sure it's a curse.

You think of your parents. There's a permanent wrinkle ironed into their foreheads, the paper crease of expectations and high standards. It's not that they didn't care, but their kind of care was a humbled sort, made heavy by a hard life. It didn't help that your big sister Seohyun went straight from Yonsei to work a big tech job in San Francisco and never once looked back.

But you can't blame any of them—wanting has always been a hereditary failing. Sometimes Yizhuo will catch you frowning at nothing, and then you remember that life isn't a performance and every day ends at the same time no matter how hard you work. But you don't know how to tell her that the only thing you can do sometimes is want, because otherwise you wouldn't really have much at all.

It seems like the exact opposite of how Mingyu lives—everything about him seems to pass like the seasons. Maybe that's why you can't seem to get enough of each other.

"Thank you. Really." You dig the spoon into your half of the melon. There isn't much left. "You're way too nice to me."

"It’s not hard to be," he laughs. "Maybe you're just too hard on yourself."

You're losing track of the distance between the two of you. You can almost feel the heat playing off his skin.

"Maybe."

It's then, under the veil of summer, where you meet Mingyu's gaze and, finally, things seem close to simple.

All you know are his eyes, heavy with sun, and then the slow, slow move of his lips against yours. He tastes like August, long and sweet, and for once you know what it's like to not only want, but to have, and to have again.

The ocean sings on the horizon, and the watermelon bellies weep.

iii. adzuki beans (or, the blood of a headless taiyaki)

Mingyu eats taiyaki headfirst because he says it hurts less.

"That makes no sense," you tell him, your pinkies linked. You never really liked holding hands, but yours fits so perfectly in Mingyu's and there's some girlish, childlike shine to it when you watch his finger search for yours after just a moment separated.

"What do you mean."

He breaks your gaze to eye a red bean taiyaki, like an unwilling predator sizing up their prey. It's the lamest, most embarrassing iteration of National Geographic you've ever seen, and yet you cannot find any fiber within yourself not deeply in love with the lion.

Fall is a forgiving place for your relationship to settle. You're now a senior at university and he's started his gap year. Gap implies he's in the middle of something, but in true Mingyu fashion, he leaves it up to fate, or chance, or something not nearly as kind (whim).

"Taiyaki isn't alive. And why would you want to pretend it is? Eating gummy bears would become an extinction event."

"It kind of is." He holds out the tail end of the taiyaki, the pastry almost explicitly flayed open, in front of you to eat. "Why does the Haribo bear have a face? Why do the gummy bears live in a gummy forest?"

"Great, so now I can’t even enjoy gummy bears without feeling like a serial killer?"

You dig your pointer into his shoulders, broad from all the time he spends on the farm. To think that his hands, big and weathered, were made to pick berries (and now wrap around your pinky finger) is bruising, if not ridiculously funny.

"It's a crime of passion. Gummy passion. Prosecute that."

He kisses your cheek and your heart almost squeezes into two.

The terrible thing about being with Mingyu is how seemingly endless his affection is. Now he's feeding you in public and buying the two of you matching socks (cat and dog, to be exact), although you'll admit it's a little charming, even if the neighbors do gossip.

He's sweet, too sweet, and his kisses stick to the back of your throat.

But you can't be fooled. There's an unsaid violence to the way Mingyu loves. (The meticulous spiral of the peel he carves when you ask for him to cut you an apple. The grind, decisive and cruel, of a knife against a cutting board. A pair of canines against your neck, your jaw.)

Even now, he bites the head off another unwitting taiyaki before stuffing it back in the bag.

"We're still splitsing, right?" he says, with perhaps 1% of his mouth available for speaking and the other 99% murder machine.

Splits, he always says before you share food. You never had the heart to tell him that it's in the same family as mines or sharesies or takebacks—silly childhood relics, ones that no one uses anymore because they don't mean anything.

This time, you don't hear him because you're thinking about the law school fair you went to before Mingyu picked you up. The future is so close, it scares you. A year from now, what ground would you be standing on? Would it smell like this—the peat, the thread-spool fields, the balm of the ocean? Would you still have Mingyu's finger wrapped round yours?

"Have you decided if you're staying at the farm?" you ask.

"Not really." He uses the back of his hand to wipe off his chin. "If my sister decides to take over, I’m actually kinda thinking of going to pastry school instead of getting a masters."

Mingyu had been toying with the idea for some time after you had talked about it on the outlook. It started off as a joke (September; a galette), then a what if (October; green tea mochi), and now it sits at a kinda.

"Kinda?"

The word gathers speed in the pachinko machine of your mind. You never liked being a kinda person. For Mingyu, it seems like a luxury of a word, but for you, it's really just another thing to hide behind. Kinda talented, kinda ambitious, kinda just there. You're always one foot in, one foot out of something better.

"Yeah, kinda. Why?"

"I dunno. What if we both end up leaving?"

"Maybe. You still want to, right?"

You would be lying if you said you didn't—it's what you always wanted. Seogwipo has been a sun-rot, too-small crutch for you, but you would also be lying if you said you weren't terrified that you'd eventually come back, limping like some doomed Icarus, unable to truly make it in the real world.

Then you think of the pockmarked farmland beside your home, lacy with the fall harvest. Even now, you can trace the endless blue of the coastline all the way there, cut through all the maybes and just let the sound of the ocean fold you into sleep like you were a child again. You wonder if Seohyun, all the way on the other side of the world, ever misses it.

"I’m not sure," you say, because, as much as you don't like it, it's the only answer you have.

"It's ok. You'll figure it out. You always do." He squeezes your cheeks together between his thumb and index, laughing at how they pillow out underneath his fingers. "Screw pastry school. I could come with you. Who else would keep you fed?"

Mingyu's complete and unfounded belief in you makes you feel something close to betrayal. How could he say any of that? With what proof? Only someone like Mingyu would be able to hold the wrinkled fruit of your unremarkable life between his palms and see something better than that. Maybe it's because he grew up on a farm. Either that, or he already cares for you too much, too painfully.

Secrets are easy to keep when they look like yours. At least here, in the pit of your stomach, you can keep count, take attendance of them, all your tittering, small anxieties. Some days it feels like your ribs are pressing out, but it's better than cutting everything loose to spill out over what little you do have control over.

You can handle a little pressure. You have to.

What concerns you is the hand Mingyu's got across your chest. With one look, he just might gut you. A twist of the heart-knife, and all those carefully wound insides carved out in an instant—maybe he'd pity you, but worse than that, he'd likely be disappointed.

For you, expectation has always stood taller than shame, and the idea that he sees something past you makes you want to run away.

"I could be a house husband," he says as easily as ever. "You'll be off saving the world, arguing with whoever, and I'll be there to run you a bath afterwards."

"Let's not get too ahead of ourselves," you reply, binding up the strange, hollow feeling in your stomach with a laugh.

There's a scared little girl hiding inside you, and whether Mingyu sees her or not hurts the same. A spade is a spade. You can only pretend so long.

You look at the taiyaki floating in their wax paper bag, blinded and wrought open by the same grin that now peels you down, and you're not hungry anymore.

iv. winter pears (rotten, outside your parents' house)

Mingyu's family loves Christmas.

You think it's because of the pear trees they have in the front yard. They stand bravely before the house, all emerald ash and wisdom in the December freeze. Run your palms over the knobs and it's like you can see into a sleepy visage of simpler days past. (Below its heart, carved: 1982, the year the farm was bought. Along the tangle of the roots: gyu waz here, in an unsure, childish scrawl.)

Winter comes to the countryside crawling on its hands and knees. On days it doesn't snow, there's a mist, boggy and clingy. You've come to realize the cold is more of a threat than a promise, and so the pear trees still bear fruit; the silvery branches hang heavy, faithful.

The first day of December, Mingyu's parents had tasked the two of you with decorating the farmhouse, a duty you took very seriously. You wrapped Mingyu up in string lights and watched him blink in and out like your own personal firefly.

It wasn't until you watched the rafters, the barn doors, the joyous vault of the ceiling all glow, like a spectacular firework, that you finally started to understand why Mingyu was so into the holidays.

It was in the yellow blush of the string lights that you had your first pear from the tree, which Mingyu insisted was a holiday tradition. We make poached pears, he said, mid-bite. You simmer the pear in syrup until it gets so soft, you can cut into it with a fork. Just like butter.

That same night, he kissed you, mouth hot and trembling and tasting of honey, and pressed you against the bark so hard, you could feel the grit of its veins against your skin.

You think December became your favorite month, and pears your favorite fruit.

So much so, that for the entire month, you try to put away your worries about law school applications to celebrate with Mingyu and his family.

You learn his mom makes the best hot chocolate (a cinnamon stick and a dogged devotion to the whisk), and that Mingyu has no clue on God's green earth how to ice skate. (He careens right into your chest the first time. You spend the next hour with him attached to you like a backpack—he manages to find the most impractical ways to do anything, which you somehow admire the most). On Sundays, Yizhuo ditches her Seoul friends and instead accompanies you to the mall two towns over, where she watches you compare different ties and watches and collagen creams as you decide on gifts for his family. (Lilac is so last year, she'd say, stirring the straw of a watered-down milk tea.)

It's not until the weekend before Christmas when you realize just how serious things have gotten. Your feet understand the meander of the dirt path to the farmhouse, your bones the scent of the yellow-skinned apple, the faded wildflowers. Your palms crave the plush of the rug they have in front of the fireplace. Hell, you can't even eat soondubu without thinking of the kind Mingyu's dad makes, with extra anchovies and green onion.

You don't think about what this means. There are ten days left in December and love poured from a full cup never seems to run out.

"Please let me carry some of those," Mingyu wheedles. "Oh my god. I'm like the worst boyfriend in the world."

"No, you are not." you make your way up to his doorstep, taking care to one-two step over the stray roots of one of the pear trees. It's second nature to you by now. "The moment I hand you a box, you are gonna start trying to figure out what it is."

He harumphs and plucks the big one off the top anyway, the one he knows you can't reach. "I didn't even know you were getting us gifts. You didn't have to."

"It's the least I could do. Who shows up to a holiday dinner emptyhanded?" You stop at the front door. "And stop shaking it," you laugh, using the tip of your boot to nudge his shin.

"Okay. Okay," he says, saccharine, adoring, before grabbing the doorknob. "Ready? Are you nervous? You shouldn't be nervous, right? It's not fancy or anything, if you were worried about that."

And that's the thing that wedges itself between your ribs. Mingyu and his whole family are like this. They love and worry and love again; it presses deep into you, fills you, and overflows.

So here you are, standing in your nicest dress and balancing a stack of gifts you hope will amount to something, never enough but something, to repay the people who you feel have loved you more than you deserve. It's all you really have. You do your best, and yet you know when that door opens, it'll all be washed away in a high-tide flurry of hugs and laughter and the familiar press of Bobpul's wet nose against your leg. They're just those kinds of people—they would be just as happy if you didn't bring anything at all, and somehow that makes you feel even more guilty.

"No, no," you wave him off. "I’m fine. Excited."

When Mingyu opens the door, everything goes just as you expected. His sister takes your coat, your gifts are whisked away to the tree (Aji has already figured out which one is his), and his parents descend upon you in a choking swell of warmth and charity.

We baked some fresh bread for your parents (—Thank you so much, but you really shouldn't have.). You look so beautiful in that color (—No, no, you flatter me too much.). Mingyu better be taking good care of you (—He is. He really, really is.).

The kitchen is gauzy with cinnamon, anise. They must be making their famous poached pears, which Mingyu remarks on, just like clockwork.

Dinner passes the same way. It bubbles over with affection, and you feel swallowed by an impossible yearning. This—a full table and a hand to hold underneath it—did you deserve this? And could you keep it?

For an instant, you picture yourself, years later, at this same seat. Mingyu would be fussing over the rice cakes, his apron still gingham because it reminds him of the day you two met. His parents, grayer but no less happy, bickering over the shade of tinsel on the tree. And the dogs, coiled at your feet like they are now. The vision laps at your bones like you're a raft in a storm.

You're pulled back into the moment when Mingyu squeezes your hand, grounding and insistent. "Mom asked how school was going. I told her I think you're basically the smartest person I know, and I’m pretty sure you're getting into whatever law school you want."

Mingyu's parents laugh, and they cut through their pears.

"Oh, sorry," you say. "Um."

Clink. Knife meets flesh, meets porcelain. Your cheeks are hot. You wanted to talk about anything other than yourself tonight. Clink.

"The top programs are a reach, but it'd be nice." clink. "I just want to get in somewhere."

"They’re all so far away," Mingyu's mom remarks. "So grown up. Any school will be lucky to have you. You'll get into all of them."

Clink.

"Or maybe you can stay here." You watch the prongs of Mingyu's father's fork disappear into the pear. "Keep us old folk company."

"No, no, I think Mingyu should take notes and get off his lazy ass," his sister says, teasing. "Going back to the city will be good for him."

"So you can, what, burn down the kitchen again?" Mingyu grumbles, and the whole table seems to boil over with laughter.

"We’re kidding," his mom tells you. "No matter where you go, I’m sure you'll do great. We can even throw you a party at the end of the year. For graduating."

Clink. Clink.

There's a horrible uneasiness writhing around in your stomach. It's pear and syrup and clove and a blackness, an anxious, selfish one that sucks up all the generosity of the evening and turns it into shame.

Mingyu's mom is talking about throwing you a graduation party, something you didn't even think to do for yourself, and here you are, thinking about the shaking moment you open your rejection letters and the lonely path you'll draw on your way back home.

It's ok. They missed out, Mingyu would say, pouring you a consolation drink, and then it would be over. You'd go home and sit on your bed and the trifold piece of paper would go round and round your head like it was in a washing machine.

Your heart, an inventory of tasks and goals and tally marks. Things you've taken and things you've owed. It's a soft, boneless excuse. Be grateful. Give them that, at least.

Clink.

Dessert ends before you can tell his family not to get their hopes up. Mingyu's mom sends you off with your loaf of bread and a kiss on the cheek, and the moment is gone.

"Gyu," you call out on the steps in front of the house.

There are words at the seam of your lips. You want to tell him you're sorry for worrying so much. For making the whole dinner about you and then very possibly having nothing to show for it when it matters. For the heaviness in your chest. Your cowardice. But none of it comes out.

Instead you watch Mingyu pull at the leaves of a pear tree, watching the frost-filigree they get at the end of the season. He looks over his shoulder and smiles at you, as if he's on the hazy cover of a magazine. His eyes bend so wonderfully at the corners when he looks at you, and it breaks your heart.

"You had fun, right?" he asks. "My parents like you a lot, you know. I think they really do."

But that's the problem, you want to say. You all do, and I have no idea why.

Some of the pears are beginning to rot now. You watch one drop off the vine, and it caves to the pavement like it was made of nothing at all.

v. wild barley (grows like weeds)

In March, you play house.

Your parents leave on a two week trip to see relatives, and Mingyu takes it upon himself to make sure you survive.

It's a kind, blinding charade.

(7 am, breakfast. You usually don't even eat breakfast, but you wake up to doenjang and a smile, one that presses itself to yours until you're wearing it on the long walk to school.)

(4 pm, the stretch between lunch and dinner. You're muddling through another useless club meeting when Mingyu sends you a picture of him in your mom's apron, making kimchi. Kiss the chef, he texts you. You promise to, over and over and over.)

It's good until it isn't.

That isn't to say that it's Mingyu's fault. In fact, it's never really Mingyu's fault, and that's the worst thing about your relationship. Sometimes you wish he was worse just so there was someone else to blame.

(1 am, a fridge-cold glass of water and a hand on the column of your spine. Can't sleep? He asks. Just had a weird dream, you say.

It's a lie. You're a liar.

You miss your parents and the first wave of acceptance letters comes out in two days. You're not like him. Sleep has never been a cure for the exhaustion you're feeling, and you have no way of telling him that however warm the bed is won't fix that.)

It's on a Thursday afternoon when you open your mailbox and see the tiny, thin envelope that you've been expecting for the past week. You don't need to open it to know what it says, and yet you do it anyway.

The sun is white, a ghost in the spring sky. The ocean bleeds into the overcast, the curly barley stands tall around your feet, and you let the worst letter you've gotten in your life fall upon your shoulders, word by terrible word.

Then you close it, pinching the seam shut, and draw up your brave face. Nothing left to do but be brave. You're convinced you've used up all the sadness in your relationship—spend in pennies and the well still runs dry. Mingyu will cup your cheek and call you darling, pouring into your emptying basin, holey and broken.

You see him now through the kitchen window, Venus in his clamshell of a kitchen. Galbijjim day, he had said this morning. Now, he waves at you, glittery with recognition.

Your throat feels like crumpled paper.

Mingyu smiles at you, hazy through the glass. Your cheeks hurt and your mouth is paper mache, but you smile back anyway.

///

The letters come one after another.

You know what the envelopes hold and yet you keep opening them. The little folder you keep stashed in your bottom drawer gets fatter every passing day because you can't help but revisit your misery, almost as if you need to remind yourself it exists.

Mingyu is none the wiser. Today he decides he'll put off pastry school for one more year. "It doesn't feel like the right time," he says, rolling a log of burdock kimbap up. "You know what I mean?"

No, you don't. You never really do.

You do know, however, that it would feel really fucking bad that, come the end of the year, to have nothing. All your friends would be going somewhere—even Yizhuo opened her acceptance to an MFA program in Shanghai yesterday—and you would be here, still, feet firmly planted in the muddy Jeju dirt like they always had been.

"Hey, don't look so disappointed." he jokes. "Don't tell me you're already trying to get rid of me."

You're not, you really aren't. But part of you wonders if it's just a race to the bottom. If you got rid of him before he decided he wanted to get rid of you, maybe it would hurt a lot less. One less letter for the folder.

"Never. But imagine if you picked up a French accent at pastry school. Then I’d consider it. Maybe."

You watch his knife rock back and forth on the cutting board as he cuts the kimbap.

"Some for you. And more for me," he says, in what you can only describe as someone attempting to speak French when they've never heard it before. "Unless you want more, mon cherie."

He brings the plates to the table, his grin nothing short of dizzying.

"I’m irresistible, huh? Still wanna leave me now?"

"You're gonna have to try a little harder than that, I think."

The words roll off your tongue, easily, traitorously.

You watch the kimbap disappear off of Mingyu's plate.

Going, going, gone.

///

Seogwipo is always dark at night, only kept alive by the glow of the moonlit sea.

You can't sleep. Again. And so you sit out on the steps in front of your house, letting the twilight wrap around you like a blanket.

You got your last letter back earlier today. You held your breath and tore it open like you would a birthday card with money in it.

Waitlisted.

It was surely better than a rejection, but some naive, child-eyed part of you thought that if you had just closed your eyes and hoped hard enough, things would work out the way you had planned. Tragically, it wasn't enough this time. You wanted and wanted and you thought maybe that would mean you'd come close to deserving it.

Your parents called today. After managing to sideline the issue of basically the rest of your entire life, they had finally cut through your sad little charade. No good news yet, huh?

No, but—

It was always like that with you. No, but it's not as bad as you think. No, but give me a chance. No, but I’m trying. I've been trying.

You wish things didn't come out of you so complicated. That you could be like Seohyun, who could go through school with her eyes closed and still graduate at the top of her class. Instead, you parade around your little failures, trying to convince people it all could mean something only if they squinted. See? It isn't so bad.

You think you're past the point of crying about it. Your stomach hurts, you're cold, and most of all, you just want to go back to bed. Plus, although Mingyu sleeps like a log, you think he's developed a sixth sense for whenever you get up too early.

Time to be brave, you've been telling yourself, although you don't know who you're pretending for anymore.

So you nudge the front door open—it's so old, it wails if you come at it with any more force—and, to your surprise, see the light above the kitchen sink turned on.

It's not very bright, but it's enough to make out Mingyu's broad silhouette, back turned to you as he makes a cup of tea. He's humming one of his made-up songs.

"Mingyu?"

"There you are," he says, turning around. "Just came out to check on you. And make you some tea."

The kettle whizzes. Your gut twists.

You still haven't said anything to Mingyu. To manage your own disappointment was one thing—you don't think you could handle another person's. And yet when he stands there, Pororo mug between his huge hands, you feel as if you are holding a knife, big and guilty and bloody.

"I-I'm fine, Gyu. Honest." you watch his expression flicker, unreadable in the persimmon lamplight. "Sorry you had to come out. It's chilly out here."

"You know, you can tell me what's going on. I won't judge."

No, no, no. This is the last conversation you wanted to have, with the last person you wanted to have it with.

You feel feverish. You think your hands are shaking.

"Mingyu, I swear—"

"Whatever it is, we can fix it. I know we can."

That almost makes you want to laugh if you didn't want to cry so bad. Of fucking course he would say that. Mingyu, who treats life like it's the watermelon trick he showed you on the outlook, wants to put a bandaid on this whole thing, as if that could come close to fixing it.

He'd tell you to curl up on the couch with a bad movie while he orders takeout. Kiss you on the top of the head. It's ok, baby. Just another bad day for the person who has the worst luck in the world. Another lump of problems for him to try and make better. If he isn't sick of you now, he sure would be soon enough.

"It’s okay," you say, steeling your voice. "It really isn't a big deal. Let's just go back to sleep."

You try to walk away, but the hardness in Mingyu's eyes roots you down to the tile.

"Stop doing that."

"Doing what?"

"Pushing me away," he swallows. "Like you always do. I know something's going on."

"I’m not, i just—"

"You just what? You can't help it?"

"No, I—"

"Because you like to know that you can? That you can say whatever and then watch me come back?" A fragmented, heavy silence thrums between you. He's looking at you like he's daring you to say something, anything. His gaze is black. "What am I good for if you can't tell me anything?"

There's that familiar, stinging pressure behind your eyes. You think you're crying, but you're not sure. Maybe you've been crying this whole time.

"Fine," you bite. Your blood feels like hot metal. "You really wanna know? I didn't get into law school. There. Happy now?"

Mingyu looks stung.

"W-why didn't you tell me?"

Because I thought you would stop loving me. I thought you would have finally had enough.

"Because it's not all about you, Mingyu."

The words, selfish and damning, burn your tongue. Mingyu is right. This is what you always do. You fuck up and then make everyone else hurt for it.

"I'm sorry," Mingyu says. His voice doesn't sound like his. Instead, the words seem to hang in the air, trembling and holding their breath, waiting for an apology you can't give yet. "I shouldn't have—"

"It's ok." You swallow hard, and it hurts. "Let's just go back to bed."

It's getting colder and colder. You think there's a little hole in your sock, right above the cat's whiskers.

Mingyu doesn't reach for you as he passes to get to the hallway. Maybe he doesn't know how to anymore.

The Pororo cup is left abandoned on the counter. You walk over and read the label on the tea bag—barley, because you have class tomorrow morning.

You pick it up, let the ceramic buzz between your hands with whatever warmth it has left, and hold it to your lips.

It's cold now, but all you can think to do is drink it. Erase all the evidence that tonight ever happened, and maybe it'll be nothing more than a bad dream in the morning.

There's honey at the bottom of the cup. It sears the back of your throat, but you drink until there's nothing left.

vi. the peach blossoms (without fail, bloom every August. I miss you.)

You broke up the next day.

Even now, you remember what happened. You had woken up early that morning to make your own breakfast because you couldn't allow Mingyu to give you any more of himself. Your hands could only hold, shatter, so much.

"Mingyu, I think we should...." You looked at the zigzags of jam on your toast, angry and uneven. "I think we should stop seeing each other. For now," you had added, as if that made anything better at all.

Somehow that seemed more merciful at the time. Really, you think it just showed your cowardice. If you were going to break his heart, you might as well have gone all the way the first time.

Maybe it was a good thing that Mingyu saw right through you. He always did.

"So that's it, huh? You're just gonna give up on us?"

"No, I just...need some time."

"How long?" he asked. "Be honest with me. Because you know I’ll wait."

"I don't know." You couldn't meet his gaze. His eyes reached and reached over that kitchen table and you denied him even that.

"Don't you always know?" he asked, pitifully, desperately. "Don't you want this to work?"

And you did. In fact, you don't think you had ever wanted anything more, and it was that that scared you. You had already lost law school—you couldn't let the only other thing in your life let you go. So you pulled the trigger first.

"We should just end things. I'm sorry. I can't give you what you need."

He packed his bag within the hour, and you think everything, from then on, froze inside you. You didn't move from your seat until your parents came home from the airport later that day and asked why there were two plates of toast still on the table.

You think you knew, someplace, inevitably, this would happen. You, who only knew hunger, had reached deep inside Mingyu and rooted out a love you didn't think you were worthy of having. And yet you still ate from the vine, bite after guilty bite, until you couldn't take any more. The only time he asked you for anything at all, you couldn't give it to him—such was the irony of your relationship.

Maybe you were doomed the moment the first strawberry hit your tongue, just like you had said, all that time ago.

About a month later, you got another letter in the mail. Chungnam National University Law School, it read. This one was fat, in one of those brown envelopes lined with bubble wrap. Somehow, miraculously, that position on the waitlist had turned into an acceptance. You held the package to your chest and cried, loud and with abandon, as if taking a deep breath after almost drowning.

Ironically, the first person you wanted to tell was Mingyu. But the good news you needed to save your relationship came too little, too late. Perhaps that meant it had no legs to stand on in the first place, but that didn't stop you from missing it. Instead, you told Yizhuo, and she drove you to Jeju City and treated you to dinner. "You should just call him," she had said. "Hey, don't look at me like that. He'd probably pick up on the first ring."

The city is swathed in August's crimson summer—peach season. The narrow streets are lined with peach trees, the fruits glowing like fat drops of sunlight. All you do these days is plan for your eventual move to Daejeon and the start of a life that seems newer and shinier than your own. But surrounded by the cicada song, the velvet treeline, the rain-soaked asphalt, somehow you think you're going to miss Seogwipo more than you think.

(Fickle, fickle heart. You always needed things to be taken away to really be able to appreciate them. Somehow, all that wanting had boiled down to something more satisfying, more filling.)

You wonder how Mingyu is. Now that you think about it, he seems just as much a part of Seogwipo as the farm he lives on. It was only last summer when you had first met him in the field, set on fire by the strawberry harvest. You think about him now, peddling around that ridiculous wicker basket to make jam. Maybe talking to another pretty girl, someone as naive, cruel as you had been.

Not long ago, you considered calling him to apologize, but that'd just be another thing to be selfish about. A little time and some warm weather, and I’m calling to finally wash my hands of you. That's what it would sound like, no matter what you said. Still, it didn't stop you from thinking of him, every flower, every season.

"You know, I always wanted to grow peach trees. But I think we've always been a pear kind of family."

Mingyu. If a voice could cut through air, it'd be his.

You whip around, half-believing you're hearing things. Certainly that would be easier, but you're learning that there are some things you can't run from.

And like a picture, Mingyu stands tall, golden, framed by the peach blossoms. Not a thing about him has changed. Not even the way he looks at you.

"Mingyu," you breathe. Unfortunately, none of the times you replayed your last conversation with him help you come up with something to say, because in none of them did you anticipate him coming back. "W-what are you doing here?"

"I live here, silly."

"No way," you reply, scrambling. "Crazy, because I live here too."

You both laugh nervously, a silly, bubbly thing, but you feel like you're going to throw up. It's only now that you realize you're kind of on the walk to his place. Seogwipo has never had places to hide.

"I...um." You try and disentangle the guilt from the nostalgia from the scent of the peaches and the warmth on his face. They all look the same. You missed him. "I got into law school. In Daejeon."

"I heard," he says. "Not surprised at all. I always knew you would."

"Thank you. I mean it." The cicadas buzz around you, as if they know they have an important silence to fill. "You're staying in town, right?"

"Actually, I decided to apply to culinary school. It finally felt right, you know? I'm leaving at the end of the summer, but it's just in Jeju City. I couldn't leave the island."

"Thank goodness. I don't know if you could tell, but I kind of always hoped you would. I don't think I’ve ever eaten better food." Your voice wobbles, but it gets there. "You'll do amazing."

Then time stretches and forces you to recognize, reckon with, the moment you're in. You wonder if he feels the same way you do—bruised, overripe. If there's still a space in his heart for you.

Deep breath. Life only gives you so many chances.

"Mingyu, I’m sorry. I'm sorry I couldn't make us work. You deserved better." Saying it feels like peeling the skin of your heart back. There's still a palpable distance between the two of you—you think that had always been there—but it feels more comfortable in a way it never did before.

"Don’t apologize," he says, easily, as he always does. Everything seems to flow off him like water, and you think that's the part of him you loved the most because it was the one thing you couldn't touch. "We loved each other. I think that much was true."

A jasmine breeze curls through the trees, sending the blossoms fluttering around you like ink in water. The very first time you met Mingyu, you thought the image of him, haloed with the sunset, was the one you wanted to keep forever. And yet, somehow, you don't think you'll ever forget the way he looks right now.

"Will you ever come back to Seogwipo?" you ask.

"I was gonna ask you the same thing—you were always the one who wanted to get out of here." He grins, ear to ear. "Of course I'm coming back. There's nowhere I'd rather be."

"Yeah. I think I know what you mean."

The sea, the clay dirt, Mingyu. Even yourself, clumsy and care-worn. You think, somewhere along the line, you forgot how to love. But you're learning—one step at a time.

"Friends," you say. "Let's be friends. If you'll let me."

"Thought you would never ask. Gladly. Always." The space between you seizes, like it's holding in a breath. Maybe one day, you'll think of closing it once more, but you like where you stand now. You can admire him better from a distance, without your fingerprints all over him. He stuffs his hands in his pockets, something he does before he gets ready to leave. But before he does—"I'll see you soon, okay? You better come back. Promise me."

For the first time, you see the honesty in his eyes and you really, truly believe him.

"Promise."

The Seogwipo sun is high and red in the sky when you wave Mingyu goodbye. It feels like you're coming to an end of a long summer, but you're not afraid. You watch the wind dance through the peach blossoms, their branches never searching, never wanting, and you finally feel as if you've arrived home.

#literally on my hands and knees begging for the tags to work #mine #mingyu #mingyu x reader #mingyu x you #mingyu angst #seventeen angst #mingyu imagines

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madxyy · 19 days

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Selfish

| pairing : peter x reader

| summary: your boyfriend comes home injured--as usual--late at night and you can't help but want him safe from his life as spider-man

| warnings: fluff, touching wrists (sigh, again), y/n used once, baby used, peter being cute and angsty as usual, reader also being cute, light angst

author's note: i am trying to write angst so bare with me lol

2 am.

It’s always when you hear that faint knock on your window that makes all your worries wash away in a split second. But not today, no, today was different. You were waiting all night to hear that thud on the firescape or the cries of the window seal being opened. All night you were absorbed in your own anxieties and worries. Your hopes were dreading as time went by. You were getting scared for the local crime fighting hero and you did everything in your power to take your mind off it.

You really did.

Drawing, watching tv, listening to music, cleaning the room—which was a bad idea as it just bought you a reminder of the boy who has your heart. You would stumble upon Peter's belongings that were scattered around your shared apartment like confetti: his engineering notes, his sweaters, his latest sketch of a brilliant idea he had to improve his spider-man suit. It only made your heart ache even more, longing for his presence and increasing your worries for your vigilante boyfriend. So you would take another route and try binge-watching a new season of a recent tv show you are watching, which would likely just be collecting dust in the column of ‘continue watching.’

Your mind keeps on going back to him. ‘He’s okay. He’s okay.’ You thought to yourself. ‘He’s coming back to me. He’ll be alright. He’s probably on his way right now. It’s just going to be a scratch, hopefully. He's going to be okay, right? Oh god. Oh god.’

As much as you love and adore that your boyfriend is helping the city and its people by saving anyone from another lab experiment gone wrong or from a dangling car that’s about to fall off a bridge, you can't help but wonder if he would ever take care of himself. It’s hard seeing him everytime he comes through your window with a new bruise on his keen jawline, a wound on his ribs, a scar on his hip. You couldn’t deal with it anymore. You wish he stopped just for his own safety. You know it’s selfish but is it so wrong to want him safe? Just the thought of turning on the news and seeing J. Jameson reporting: “Breaking News: Our local friendly Neighborhood Spider-Man reported dead by …”

You want him back with you already, his arms wrapped around you, drowning you into his warm embrace, so distinctly Peter, while he whispers soft and reassuring words that always mend your heart. You long to hear his random facts about science, see his lopsided smile that always welcomes you back into reality whenever you wake up next to him each morning. You yearn for his contagious laugh that makes your heart throb in delight over the euphonious sound. You want to smile at the tics he does when he gets nervous or the way he avoids eye contact and scratches the back of his neck when he is stuck in an awkward situation. You want him to be back so you can smooch the newly embedded scars that are planted all over his body which you love kissing away everyday when he wakes up. You want to see his dimples that adorn his face when he smiles wide enough because he finally got his web shooters to work, followed by a triumph fist bump to the air. You want to see his eyes, oh his eyes: brown, soft, autumnal, brimming with love and warmth, despite the grief and cruelty he has been absorbed in. His scent, a mix of cedarwood and asphalt (due to his high-flying urban adventures). You want to see the way his hair sticks up in the morning whilst the sun gives it a mixture of honey and bronze aura, running your hands through the mused up tufts of hair, which always leads to the corners of his eyes crinkling up as a sleepy, boyish smile tugs up on his rosy lips.

Selfish. You can’t help it.

You waited as long as you could; staring at your window for who knows how long. Your eyes were trained on the window for a good while, but you couldn't help it, all this anxiety finally got to you and you were feeling drained and your posture slumps with exhaustion. Your eyes burn from keeping them open, and soon those same eyes start to slowly droop. Blinking back sleepiness proved futile; your head eventually settled onto the cool silk of your pillow. The material greets your cheek, making it easier for you to be welcomed into slumber.

It was 4 am, yet your worries haven’t gone down at all. Your eyelids started to grow heavier, and darkness gradually enveloped your senses, until you heard a faint knock on your window, piercing the silence.

Your heart leapt, and you twisted towards the sound. In an instant, sleep was gone.

Not even a second later you heard your window opening—mm the sound of the cries. Your tired, red eyes snapped open. You were met with a disheveled and drained Peter Parker. His hair sticking to the nape of his neck and forehead, sweat giving him a post-shower appearance. A large laceration marred his chest. Oh. Your stomach dropped, eyes widened with horror at the sight of the injury. It looked like he was scratched -- no, clawed by someone or something. With quick motion, you quickly peel away the sheets, disentangling yourself from its soft embrace, and quickly hurrying to his side.

“Peter” you gasped softly. A hand settles onto his latex-clad one, the other arm wrapping around his waist to support him as you guide both him towards your bed, placing him where you had lain just seconds before. “It’s not that bad, don’t worry about it, seriously, I mean you should see the o-” Peter quickly swallows his words upon seeing your stern glare. He slumps his head downwards as he sighs in defeat.

You sigh, telling him quietly that you'll be back soon. You left him for a few moments before coming back with a wet rag. Gently, you tug at the suit, trying to cautiously take it off him without aggravating his wounds. Soon, you were met with his bare torso, which is marked with a huge claw mark. You mentally steel yourself before starting to lightly clean around the injury, dabbing the wet rag gently onto his toned chest as you avoid his eyes. It’s not like you were trying to make him feel bad, but you were also trying to cope with the situation. You don’t know if you were mad, relieved, sad, maybe all of the above? Uncertain emotions swirl within you, but one fact anchors your turbulent thoughts: he is here, safe, and alive. That's what truly matters.

Peter seems to catch your avoided gaze, he studies you for a few minutes. Biting the inside of his cheek as he purses his lips to the side, trying to figure out how to approach this situation. He takes in your furrowed eyebrows, the way you’re also biting the inside of your cheek as you put all your strength into avoiding his worried amber eyes. He knew the consequences of inviting someone into his dangerous life, it wasn’t exactly a warm and inviting embrace, nor was it appealing, but what he didn’t fully grasp is how it truly hurts you, in more ways than one. “Y/N…” he whispered, rough hands that have been through so much and experienced so much, reaching for the comfort of your skin but you gently dodge his touch, leading to a sudden twinge of anguish in his heart. You give him a slight smile to distinguish any suspicion – I mean, you weren’t doing a good job at it – before you continued cleaning the dirt away from his injury. Peter’s eyebrows furrow while his lips start to droop downwards, a frown laid upon his lips at the rejection.

Biting the inside of your cheek harder to stop the tears from flowing down the curve of your cheekbones. You keep on wiping his cuts clean, overs and overs again, getting flashbacks of his visits from the last time you had to patch him up. Blurred vision starts taking over your eyesight and all you can think about is his pain, what he goes through, his blood, the thought of losing him, life without him, the many ‘what ifs.’ The many times he almost visited death's door. You couldn’t keep it in anymore, it was like a burning sensation bubbling in the back of your throat, the sadness was too hard to keep buried down now. You started shaking and before you knew it your sobs filled the walls and all your fears were coming out of you in the form of a liquid pea that contained so much. As soon as the warm liquid left a path down the curve of your cheeks, peter panicked and rose to action just like the hero he is—your hero.

Quickly sitting up and fixing his posture, which made him wince slightly from the injuries but he pushed through, his mind set on you and only you. He wipes the tear away with the pad of his thumb and takes the wet rag away from your slightly shaky grip; gently putting it on your nightstand before he lightly reaches both of his hands out and holds onto your wrists.

“I can't” You choke out a sob.

“Hey shh it’s okay baby, what’s wrong? You can’t, what? Tell me,” He coos.

He hunches down, trying to find those eyes of yours that he swears are otherworldly, but you just can’t. You can’t see him like this. Hurt. In pain. Suffering. It pains you that he is in this much pain -- you can’t. “Peter I just… ” he gently takes your face in his hand, caressing your cheekbones with his thumbs that are growing wet from your moist cheeks. His heart hurts from the sight of you crying, it conjures a deep-seated throb of pain in his eyes. “Look at me,” he whispers softly, gently nudging your head up with his right hand that is slowly descending down to grasp your chin as if you were a treasure, in a way you are, to peter you are his treasure, the main reason he even gets up or even tries, you are his rock, the only thing that makes sense in his life, and god does he love you, he loves you so much that his heart hurts. A quiet sigh escapes you, it sounds defeated. “Please,” He pleaded oh-so-gently, his gaze unwavering but patient. You sniffle before swallowing down a ball of saliva forming in your throat. As soon as you look up you are met with a pair of almond-shaped umber eyes that are filled with the utmost care, worry, and a hint of guilt.

“Talk to me..” he whispers desperately, his heart crushing at the pain you are experiencing, he just wants to take it all away with his soft whispers but he knows they will be in vain. Shakingly exhaling “I can’t,” you frantically shake your head. “Please baby…” A few silent beats pass before you finally look back up to find those amber eyes looking back at you with nothing but worry and sincerity.

You take a deep breath before swallowing deeply ”Peter...I just…” another beat passes. You take a sharp deep breath. “I just really wish you would take more care of yourself, I...I know you love saving people and fighting crime and trust me I love you deeply for that but you come home everyday with a new wound that’s even deadlier than the last one,” You pause, licking your salty lips. “aren’t you worried that maybe those people that you save won’t have anyone to save them if they’re local neighborhood spider-man won’t be there to save them anymore..?” You ask him, almost in a plea. Peter bites the inside of his cheek, thinking over your words with a solemn expression forming on his face that are littered in small cuts from his last escapades. He diverts his gaze to the floor and the room is quickly overcome with silence as he takes in your words, letting the heaviness of your words sink in.

The silence fills the room, it lets you both engulf into your own thoughts. Peter knew what it meant when he finally told you he was the unmasked superhero. He remembers spilling his deadly secret on a rooftop late at night, where you both were admiring the stars, laying on a blanket and talking about anything and everything. He remembers looking over at you and admiring the way the moon was cascading down on you, making you look even more angelic and completely ethereal.

Peter looks at you hurt and guilty and god do you hate that. Both of you guys shared a gaze that held so much that it made the room feel denser as the distant sounds of ambulances filtered through the slightly open window. A breeze wafts in, brushes against you both, causing small goosebumps to prick up on your skin. Peter grew to learn from his past relationships and the impact it had on his partner knowing he was Spider-Man, which is why it hurts him to know he is the one making you feel like this. A calloused hand slowly creeps up, gently grasping your cheek with the utmost care, as if you were made of glass and he was scared of causing further harm. “I know, I know,” He murmurs, his voice breaking while his toughened fingers absentmindedly traces the curve of your cheek. “It’s just so hard to stop when I know I can make a difference.”

You swallow the lump in your throat as his words sink in. Your heart breaks knowing how much his words are true and the scary reality that he won’t stop until crime is put to bed and everyone can roam around the streets freely. You shook your head, one hand gently grasping his wrist. “But at what price, Pete?” you ask ever-so-softly like the question itself was forbidden territory. Those eyes that he loves so deeply, look up into his eyes and it causes a gnawing feeling in his chest, almost making him wince from how hurt you look, how scared you look. Peter bites the inside of his cheek a bit harder while furrowing his brows, trying to think of what to tell you because he himself doesn’t know.

He takes a shaky breath, adjusting the grip on your face and slowly pulling your head a bit closer until both of your foreheads are resting against one another, a silent plea for understanding in his eyes. The brush of skin itself was tender-filled, telling a millions of words with just one movement. “I am just sick of all the crimes happening here and the cops not even doing anything about it.” Peter whispered, his voice a low blend of anger and helplessness. You could feel the raggedness of his breath, each exhale a testament to the battles he fought alone in the shadows of the city. The close proximity allowed you to see the subtle tension in his jaw, the way his eyes shuttered as if bracing against a storm of inner conflict. “Peter, I know you care – it’s one of the things I love about you,” you respond gently, reaching up to smooth a stray lock of hair from his clammy forehead. “But you can’t carry this burden alone. It’s too much for one person, even for Spider-Man.” Your voice was a soothing whisper, trying to pierce the armor of duty he wore so steadfastly.

Peter simply nodded, the weight of the world momentarily lightened by your understanding. You saw the fortress around his heart crumbling, if only just a bit. His eyes, usually so vibrant and full of life, now shimmered with unshed tears, reflecting the constant battle between his duty and his love for you.

“I’m sorry…” Peter’s voice broke through the silence, each word heavy with remorse. He leans forwards, delicately kissing your forehead which grounds you and makes you close your eyes momentarily as you cherish the soft kiss that eases your heart just a bit. “I am sorry for not fully understanding what you are going through. I am so, so sorry,” He whispers into the dark night, the words flowing into the air as gently as ever. A few beats of silence pass while you take in his words. It gave your weary heart time to mend. Peter leaned back slightly so he could get a better look at you, his gaze locked with yours, conveying a depth of sincerity and vulnerability. “I’m truly, deeply, sorry” He whispers once more before he starts to softly press kisses underneath where your ear and jaw meet, your cheeks, forehead, nose, the wrinkles in the middle of your eyebrows, smoothing them out with the pad of his thumb, and finally kissing your lips, so delicately, it makes you want to cry even more.

The kiss was so deliberate, it was a bundle of promises that his lips sealed to keep, an abundance of love, tenderness, deep affection and care that runs so deeply into his veins that it affects his touches and kisses, he can’t help but pour it all into the kiss, he just wanted you to know how sorry he is. He wanted you to know that he never meant to hurt you, whether it was indirect or direct. It makes your heart flutter and reassures your timid heart. Slowly one hand moves to cup the left side of your face as his other hand descends down towards the side of your neck as peter tastes the saline on your moist-tear lips, but even that doesn’t stop him from pressing gentle kisses against your lips, it only fuels his love, turning the kisses even more tender. Each kiss conveys a message of “I’m sorry, I love you, please know I love you.” You can taste the metallic on his lips as your lips were caressing his back as equally gently and lovingly, your kisses filled with a message of “It’s okay, I love you.”

Peter slowly pulls back from the kiss, his mouth hovers over yours, his breath fanning over your lips, noses rubbing against each other in the tenderest manner ever. Both of your eyes were still closed, taking in everything, cherishing one another. His right hand moving back up to cradle your face, both hands cradling your cheeks and caressing them with the pad of his thumbs in a feather-like caress. You nuzzle your cheek against his right hand, feeling the rough and calloused palm that you grew to admire and adore. It always provided you with such care and comfort, always caressing or reaching out to gently touch you. Both of your hands now encircled around his wrist, caressing the inside of it so softly that it makes Peter almost melt.

Slowly, Peter opens his eyes. His amber gaze held nothing but love and the utmost care. Shortly after he opened his eyes, your eyes opened as well. Both of you search each other’s eyes as a white noise of admiration passes you both. After a moment of silent communion, the air between you both thickens with unspoken words and shared feelings, Peter finally speaks, his voice a soft murmur against the quiet room. “I can’t promise there won’t be more nights like this,” he says, his honesty laying bare the truth of both of your lives entwined with danger and uncertainty. “But I promise you, no matter how many crazy guys in suits I have to fight, I’ll always do my best to come back… to this, to us.”

This promise, simple yet profound, strikes a chord within you. It’s not a heroic declaration from Spider-Man, but a heartfelt vow from Peter Parker, the boy behind the mask, the one you fell in love with. His words acknowledge the reality of his life—danger is part of the package, yet he’s equally committed to your shared life, to you, and he isn’t going anywhere.

You feel a surge of mixed emotions: fear for the dangers he faces, gratitude for his honesty, and love for the person he is. “And I’ll be here,” you say, matching his tone with a blend of seriousness and affection, “not just to patch you up and be your personal nurse, but to love you.” The corners of his lips quirk up, his eyes twinkling with love as he takes in your words. He leans in, pressing a soft, lingering kiss on your forehead, a silent vow of his commitment. “Thank you,” he whispers, gratitude resonating in his voice, “for everything.”

“Of course,” You whispered.

The two of you stay like that, embraced in the warmth of your love for one another, finding comfort in the silence that now speaks volumes. The world outside, with its chaos and challenges, seems momentarily distant as you both cherish this safe haven of understanding and love you’ve created together.

#andrew garfield!peter parker x reader #tasm peter parker #tasm!peter x reader #tasm!peter x you #the amazing spider man #andrew garfield #peter parker x reader #peter parker x you #spiderman #tasm andrew garfield #light angst #fluff #peter parker fluff #tasm fluff

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lillystarreds · 1 year

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Since everyone seem to love these three as mouse🐭

I would love to see how they will look in your style💙❤️💚

#hetalia #aph estonia #aph lithuania #hws estonia #aph latvia #hws latvia #hws lithuania #our local cute boi #you can draw all or one of them #❤️❤️❤️#💚💚💚#💙💙💙#for fun

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slytherinn-xo · 5 days

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St Alban's Local- Steph Catley

Steph Catley X Primary School Teacher! Katrina Gorry Sister! Reader

Synopsis: A cute morning café run sends you and Steph viral when Lorraine gets there.

1172 words.

It was definitely weird being an Australian in England, the difference in temperature. Having a cold Christmas. A warmish summer off from work.

Following your footballer fiancée half way across the world and finding a new job in England as a Primary School teacher.

But one thing I couldn't get my head around was the telly over here, and the British obsession with morning television, and these talk shows like Lorraine, This Morning and Loose Women.

Not that I got to watch any of them as I was either at work already dealing with classes of up to 35, 5 year old children. Or in the holidays I took lie ins very seriously as I refused to leave the bed I shared with Steph until at least 10 o'clock no matter how much she tried to get up she wasn't moving either.

So it was a surprise during the School Holidays, when Steph was able to drag herself, me and our giant dog Calvin out of the house and to Mulberry's Café. Mulberry's Café was literally the only place you would find me in a morning.

The owner of the cute little café was such a cute lady, and she was also Australian, she felt like she was another mother to me. And she loved it when I brought in Calvin or Harper. But DO NOT and I mean DO NOT bring in Kyra or Katie.

Why? Because last time I came in with either one of them just after Kyra moved here, Kyra broke two mugs somehow, and Katie is ............................ Irish and that's enough of a reason for Mrs Mulberry.

But really I loved going to this little cafe on our morning walk with Calvin, as we get to sit in the little garden with him, and he gets to have a few biscuits with a bowl of water.

So for once when I get there with Calvin and Steph in tow, as I swing open the door to the cafe, the bell jingling into the open space.

"Mrs Mulberry!" I cheer as I see the older lady, going to give her a hug as she leaved the counter unattended to on this empty morning for her.

"Kaitlyn!" The older lady cheered out to me with a smile, hugging me as she kissed my cheeks lightly. "And I've told you it's Dot."

"Dot, it's so nice to see you for once." I finally told the older lady as she held my cheeks in her hands with a smile. Having a little moment with my mother figure over here.

"Yeah I was finally able to drag her out of bed!" And Steph just had to ruin it. Really this was a sweet moment and now she ruined it.

"Oh shush you, you're no better!" I turned and finally spoke to my fiancée as I pointed at her, as she held Calvin back from jumping onto Dot.

"Come on girls, now give me a hug Steph my girl." Dot finally turned to Steph and held her arms out wide for her to walk into for a moment.

"It's lovely to see you Dot." Steph told her with a smile as she looked at me and locked eyes with mine over the shoulder of the lady as she stuck her tongue out at me.

"Stop it you!" I told Steph pointing at her a cheeky smile on my lips, with Steph coming over to stand by me, with her hand in mine.

"But......." Dot told us both with a smile as she looked at us both.

"Oh no what do you want?" I asked her as I leaned my head on Steph's shoulder, as Calvin was finally let loose to go over to the older lady, as he jumped up at her.

"Oh yes, good boy......." Dot focussed on Calvin for a moment. "Oh yes. We have Lorraine coming to the café this morning to interview someone about what they would do with 100, 000 pounds."

"No." I just muttered.

"And I said I would find someone for them, and since you're here, they're going to be here any minute, and I need someone for them to film." Dot told us both as she finally gave Calvin his biscuit.

"I'm in St Alban's today and going to see what the locals would do if they won big this Autumn." The woman told the camera. Before it panned over to us two and Calvin.

"Well we got engaged last New Years so we'd save it up for the wedding I'm sure." Steph told the camera with a nod.

"That is a lot more expensive them we thought." I added in with a nod, and luckily that was all we would have to do.

But what we didn't know was that over the next few days the clip would go viral for Steph being called a St Alban's local, but also as I was finally showed to the public with Steph.

Our relationship has been private but not secret. Like the public know who I am if they follow Steph or any of the Aussie gals but this was different.

A lot of WOSO fans knew who I was now.

But my kiddo, my students all over the school, parent's included also knew. And I knew it would be a bugger coming up this Monday, with the kiddo's coming back to school.

And this was the first reaction when I came back to school on Monday morning, and the kiddo's we're running in, like they had all planned to come in all at once and just bombard me with questions upon questions.

'Miss Miss were you on the telly yesterday!'

'Miss Gorry why were you at Mulberry's Café yesterday?'

'Miss are you seeing Steph Catley the footballer?'

'Miss why are you a St Alban's Local if you're Australian?'

"Guys, breathe and we'll do this one by one, now hands in the air and I'll get you through all of this!" I told them all as they went to their assigned seats around my class room.

"But first in case this covers your questions, I am currently engaged to Steph Catley Arsenal and Matilda's defender." I told all of the kiddos with a smile. "She proposed to me last New Years, and you guys should all be excited, because thanks to me, we've got our guests coming in next week."

I has organised a day next week on their day off, and some of the Arsenal girls had agreed to come in and visit us all and have a fun day at the school for the kids. It wasn't just my class but for all of the year groups.

"But Miss, who proposed to who?" I heard one of the kids asked, and honestly I wanted to laugh.

People think the kids wouldn't accept this or would ask inappropriate questions but really they didn't care, and I was just happy they didn't ask me about how I looked as I looked so tired and dead in the clip.

#woso x reader #woso #woso imagine #steph catley #steph catley x reader #auswnt #auswnt x reader #arsenal wfc #arsenal wfc x reader

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hollytoshaw · 1 month

Text

ski season | harry lewis

summary : ig feed of harry and y/n’s annual ski trip ft a cute surprise

face claim : dua lipa

a/n: feel free to request any insta au’s or fics, i'm excited to write some more stuff!!!

other stuff by me linked here : masterlist

y/n_username posted a photo!

liked by ksi and 342,053 others y/n_username harry and i 🫱🏻‍🫲🏼 fluorescent outfits tagged: wroetoshaw

...

tobjizzle fits go crazy ↳ y/n_username we look crazy more like

behzingagram cold fits from you two ↳ y/n_username literally

faithlouiseak so cute

w2sfan20 omg their annual ski trip so cute :))

vikkstagram try not to stack it on a ski jump and break your collarbone like i did ↳ y/n_username ouch don’t remind me 😭😭😭 ↳ sidemenfan21 6 years later and he’s still traumatised

wroetoshaw posted a photo!

liked by calfreezy and 729,047 others! wroetoshaw Snow tagged: y/n_username

...

calfreezy bet you feel right at home

y/n_username why have you tagged me i’m not even in this ↳ wroetoshaw thought i’d give you some free promo #AD wroetoynfan first harry post in years and this is what we get

theburntchip hot

y/n_username posted an instragram story!

y/n posted a photo!

liked by vikkstagram and 398,349 others y/n_username having snow much fun ❄️

...

vikkstagram punny caption ↳ y/n_username felt so clever when i thought of it

calfreezy cringe caption ↳ y/n_username hater

taliamar obsessed with your outfit omg ↳ y/n_username i’m obsessed with you omg

wroetoshaw must of had a good photographer ↳ y/n_username fully only 2 good ones out of the 100 you took

y/n posted a photo!

liked by wroetoshaw and 342,982 others! y/n_username last day of our trip :( tagged: wroetoshaw

...

freyanightingale snowboard queen

wroetoshaw good looking fella in the last picture

calfreezy bet bog was scared of the ski lift ↳ y/n_username poor boy can't do heights 😂😂

chrismd10 always some sort of alcohol around you two

faithlouiseak yay come home i miss you 😭 ↳ y/n_username its been a 1 week but i miss you too

Harry and Y/N were on their annual winter skiing trip in Geneva - a tradition they had taken up about 3 years into their relationship. They had reached the last day of the trip and decided to go out to a local bar and drown their sorrows - the pair not wanting the trip to end. After getting a few rounds between them they decided to call it a night, with their early flight and lack of packing done, they knew they probably should have ended the night a long time ago.

As they walked out of the bar, snowflakes fell softly from the sky and all the rooftops around them were dusted with a shimmering blanket of white, Harry and Y/N found themselves caught in a playful dance amidst the winter wonderland - the cold had knocked them back and they felt a lot more drunk than they thought they were.

Hand in hand, they ventured out into the cold air, their cheeks flushed red (Harry blamed the 2 bottles of wine they had shared). With each step, they left behind a trail of footprints in the snow, their laughter mingling with the soft crunch of their boots against the frozen ground.

Their destination? A secluded clearing nestled deep within the town—a secret spot they had discovered during their first winter together, a place where the world seemed to stand still and time lost all meaning.

As they arrived at their snowy sanctuary, Harry and Y/N wasted no time in diving headfirst into their wintry adventure. They built snow angels side by side, their bodies creating patterns in the pristine snow as they flapped their arms and legs, laughing at the mess they were creating.

Next came the snowman—a creation that looked a bit insane due to its lack of carrot nose (none of the shops around them were opened) or buttons for eyes (harry protested against the buttons) but nonetheless the snowman was standing proudly in the center of the snow as a testament to their love and creativity. With gloved hands and rosy cheeks, they worked together to shape and mold the perfect snowman, their laughter echoing through the quiet town as they occasionally through handfuls of snow at one another.

Yet amidst the flurry of snow and laughter, there was something else stirring in Harry's heart—a feeling so profound and overwhelming that he couldn't keep it inside any longer. Something that he'd been thinking about for months...years even.

With a nervous flutter in his chest, he turned to Y/N , his blue eyes shining with love and affection. And in that moment, surrounded by the beauty of the winter landscape and the warmth of their shared laughter, struggling through the snow to get down on one knee, he spoke the words he had been longing to say.

"Y/N, will you marry me?," he whispered, his voice barely above a hush and slightly hoarse from all the singing they’d done in the bar but still managing to carry with it all the depth and sincerity of his feelings.

Tears welled in Y/N's eyes as she gasped in astonishment, her hand flying to her mouth in disbelief. Her heart swelled with overwhelming joy, and her stomach felt sick (a mix of shock and booze) and it was as though she might burst with happiness.

It had felt like hours had gone by as the two faced one another, Harry shaking on one knee and Y/N stood in shock.

With a trembling voice, Harry broke the silence rambling in his drunken state, “You know it's okay if you say no, but I'd love it if you said yes - it's just sort of freezing down here and I’m scared if I stay like this any longer I’ll have turned to ice.'' Y/N could barely choke a laugh at his attempt of a joke but his panic shook her slightly and she realized she hadn’t replied to him yet.

Unable to contain her emotions any longer, she threw her arms around him, pulling him into a tight embrace as tears of joy streamed down her cheeks. "Yes! Yes, a thousand times yes!" she exclaimed, her voice filled with pure elation. A sigh of relief passed Harry's lips.

And as they stood there, wrapped in each other's embrace, surrounded by the beauty of the winter landscape, Harry and Y/N knew that their love was as enduring and timeless as the snow that blanketed the earth—a love that would warm their hearts even on the coldest of days, and carry them through all the seasons yet to come.

y/n posted a photo!

liked by ksi & 560,203 others! y/n_username there's snow way we're officially engaged!!! tagged: wroetoshaw

...

calfreezy SHUT UP WHAT

ksi Congratulations! ❤️

faithlouiseak i'm crying i can't 😭😭😭

taliamar omfg facetime me right now

theburntchip go on bog finally

behzingagram shit i need to get my best mans speech prepared

wroetoshaw ❤️

vikkstagram Congrats you two!

r0sielewis finally going to be my sister in law omg

w2sfan2 omg nearly all the boys are engaged now i feel so old

zerkaa congrats bro, it only took us both 10 years plus 🥵

sidemanxixfan the caption hahaha they're meant to be

hollytoshaw : thanks for reading!!! hope you all enjoyed my second instagram au!!! let me know what you guys think and if there’s anything i should change about these. really enjoying making them!

#w2s #wroetoshaw #w2s x reader #harry wroetoshaw #harry lewis #harry w2s #sidemen #w2s fic #w2s imagine #wroetoshaw imagine #wroetoshaw oneshot #hollytoshaw #chris md #arthurtv #sidemen x reader

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allthingsgofestival · 7 months

Text

Juliana Madrid

Hometown: Dallas, TX

First kiss: Horrible

Teenage crush: There was this boy named Matthew that was this cool skater kid and he was my older friend’s little brother. I was just in love with him at 14 or something. He was the first guy I held hands with. He was very cute.

Boldest teenage fashion choice: I once wore heels to school because I was trying really hard to fit in because I felt so out of place. I did it once and never again, that was probably the weirdest thing.

Hometown school traditions: After prom or any social event we would always go to our local What-A-Burger and just hang out afterwards.

Go-to I’m feeling a lot of feelings song in high school: Anything from Speak Now by Taylor Swift and any Beatles song on the White Album

2000's teen movie freeze frame epilogue: Juliana went on to follow her boyfriend to college and then regret it horribly and then drop out of college and then break up with him and then do music full time.

What you'd write in your own high school yearbook: You’re doing fine and things will work out. Just be happy and make sure to stay grateful for where you’re at.

Tumblr Class of 2023 @ All Things Go

📸: Brooke Marsh

#juliana madrid #tumblr yearbook #tumblr university #all things go #all things go festival

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sweetracha · 11 months

Note

A little thought about minsung (because I'm obsessed with them): They're a couple and all, but don't mind spicing things up a bit in the bedroom. They see a cute fan they both like and decide to go for it. What could go wrong?

(I want to be destroyed by these two)

Minsung will be the death of me I swear

Pretty Kitty

Sugar Content: Spicy Sweet (SMUT!)

Allergy Warnings: Cocky Minho, Idols x Fan, Having sex with a fan, Pet names (mainly kitten/kitty), Dom Minho, Switch/Sub Han, Sub Reader (the dynamics are really just hinted at), Threesome, Training

Minho and Han seem like the perfect couple to the outside world. In many cases they are. The two seem like they were created from the same stardust. Two lovers destined to be together. Written in time as lovers who would always find each other. However perfect can get boring.

Perfect can become stale, flavorless, and taxing. This is especially true in the bedroom for Minsung. Don't get them wrong, they love their dynamic. They know every little thing that can make each other tick. They could map each other's bodies with their eyes closed and put 'x marks the spot' for every kink. Minho was a strong dominant top who was weak to praise. Han was a power bottom who had a special spot for humiliation. That's what was boring though. They missed the adventure and exploration of a new partner! They longed for that moment when you try something new and in return, you get the most earth-shattering moan from the body beneath you. They wanted, no NEEDED, a new playmate.

That's when they met you. Well saw you rather. Stray Kids were hosting another fan meet for the release of 5 Star. You had been a fan for years now and were finally going to have a chance to meet them, so what else would you do besides buying a whole new outfit? Dressed in a new baby blue sundress with matching shoes and hair bow you were off. It wasn't like you had a chance with any of them but this would feed your delulu for months to come.

You stood in line and waited for your turn to sit down with them one on one. The first seat you took was Chan's. He was sweet and calmed you down after he noticed your nervous fidgeting. Then was Changbin who gave you a huge smile and wink. You died inside as you two talked about all things food. Your time was cut much shorter than you would have liked but it wasn't for nothing as you were now faced with local sunshine, Felix. Brighter than ever he greeted you and chuckled a bit to himself.

"I think my Hyung will like you," he said light-hearted but deeply. Your heart flips at the thought, what could he be talking about?

Then your curiosity grew as both Seungmin and Jeongin teased. Saying Han was not ready for what is to come. They couldn't possibly mean you? Could they?

Hyunjin broke the ice and talked to you normally, well as normally as an idol could with a fan. It seemed fine until he ended it with a wink and a "Go get them".

Finally, you were with Han. The poor boy almost had a stroke when he saw you. An actual princess was in his presence. Even though he was the idol, he was the one left speechless. It wasn't until you gave a small 'hi' did he snap out of his trance.

"HI! Oh My God Sorry!! You are just very pretty--- I mean your dress looks really pretty on your body---I MEAN ON YOU!" he stuttered through the who conversation and you couldn't help but laugh. It warmed him knowing you were not offended. When the timer went off he locked eyes with Minho and they both nodded.

"Hello kitten," Minho said straight away, catching you off guard and making you choke. "Oh Shi-My bad!" he handed you his water. "Don't worry, I have more. He was right by the way you do look very pretty"

Your face blushed a crimson red as you tried to respond. "He um he said my dress was pretty"

"No pretty kitty, he said it was you" he so much as purred his sentence. "I think our time is almost up hun, what a shame. hmm if only we could speak longer, I think I've taken a liking to that pretty blush on your face." Minho leans closer so only you can hear. "See that door over there? We are going to have security lead you through those doors. You wait for us, nice and pretty." He couldn't help the dark chuckle that left him as he emphasized the word pretty again.

You sat on the sofa in the green room while your legs bounced with anxiety. This couldn't be real. You had to be dreaming. A sick beautiful twisted nightmare of a dream. To ease your mind you took in the site around you. There were little vanities around the room with ring lights and plush chairs. Obviously, this is where the boys got their makeup done. The walls were covered in thick padding, reminiscent of soundproofing you had seen before. They weren't going to kill you, were they? You had to chuckle to yourself…would it really be such a bad way to go?

Then your thoughts were snapped back to attention as the door in front of you creaked open. Lee Know walked in with the cockiness of a king. His stare warned you he was about to eat you alive. However, to your surprise, he was followed by a now very confident Han. No longer did he look lost and shy but rather planned and prideful. Lee Know took a seat on the coffee table in front of you and Jisung stood behind.

"Hello Kitten" It was like sweet intoxicating venom dripping from his lips when he spoke to you this way. "I see you followed through with my instructions. Good girl. See Sungie, I told you she would be a good girl. Unlike other little brats I know" Minho shot a death glare behind him.

"Come on Hyung, the poor thing is scared. She is practically shaking. Get on with it" Jisung whined, that brattiness starting to shine through.

"Honey no need to be scared" Minho reached out for your leg but stopped "Can I touch you?" All you could do was nod and he placed a gentle hand on your knee. He rubbed smooth calming circles into your skin as he spoke.

"Pretty we aren't going to hurt you. Quite the opposite. We want to please you in so many ways. If you let us have you we will treat you to a night of your dreams. We understand however if that is not what you want. We can have staff escort you back to your car and we will pretend nothing happened. Tonight is your decision love" The way he spoke with such care settled your nerves a bit. Han flashed you an adorable smile as he watched you think it over. You looked at the two and saw the genuine longing in their eyes. This was not an idol fucking a fan for power, this was something entirely different.

"I want this," you said with a shaky tone. Minho raised an eyebrow in question. "I want you both" you confirmed.

Minho immediately rose from his position on the table and picked you up, sitting back down on the couch with you on his lap. He faced you away from him however and when you opened your eyes you were met with Jisung just millimeters away.

"Kiss the pretty kitty baby boy, I know you've been wanting to" It was clear to you now the dynamic of this night.

Jisung looked at you for consent and when you nodded ever so slightly he leaned in. The kiss was soft and cautious at first but soon grew desperate and needy. His hands found your thighs and pawed at the soft skin, almost as if he was stopping himself from going any further.

"Look at my sweet boy. So desperate for a pretty girl in his life he is practically leaking by kissing one. How are you ever going to please her if you can't get passed kissing her?" Minho mocked

Han pulled back. "We both know damn well I can please her just as well if not better than you Hyung! Don't forget who was begging last night?"

Jisung challanged back. The heat and tension in the room became thick.

"You think you are so good at this don't you, you little brat. Fine, make her cum." With that Minho spread your legs and exposed your panties to Jisung. The boy couldn't help the blush climbing his cheeks. "Already overwhelmed, pathetic honestly" Minho spat. With that Jisung dove in.

He began with light testing licks to your cilt to gauge your reactions. When one soft touch pulled a pornographic moan from you, he got excited. Han began to put more pressure, strength, and texture into his licks. Then he began to leave suctioning kisses to it. That made you spasm in Minhos lap and close your thighs around Han's head.

"No way kitten, open them back up. Now!" Minho forcefully spread your legs open and hooked them over his own. "Such a sensitive pretty little thing. One touch has you shaking. Fuck I am so ready to explore you" he leaned in closer "to destroy you"

He gave Jisung a knowing look and before long two fingers were being shoved into you and scissored. The goal was to prepare you for something much bigger. You shook in place as Han continued his assault. His tongue and now nose attacked your cilt while three fingers hit deep in you. One particular trust had you throwing your head back on Lee Know's shoulder. His hand snaked around your neck while the other played with your nipple. "Baby boy, I think we found it"

That spot deep in you was being hit over and over with pleasurable force as Han brought you closer and closer to ecstasy. Before you were finished however Minho ripped his hand away. You both whined.

Han helped position you over the back on the couch and eased his way into you. He settled for a bit until you began grinding back on him, signaling you were ready. Jisung set a rhthmyic pace. Slow but hard thrusts, just the way you liked it. However, his movements were halted altogether as a screaming moan left his throat, followed by a whimper. You turned your head the best you could to find the Minho has entered Jisung, effectively training you all. The poor boy in the middle couldn't help the whimpers and whines that left him as Minho set a brutal pace. The whole scene along with the stimulation you were receiving was enough to bring you to your edge.

"Shhhhh both of you will get what you want. Han don't turn our good girl into a brat like you" Minho said while fishing his cock from his pants. "Hannie, fuck our kitten"

"Hyung, fuck Hyung! She is squeezing me so hard. I can't! Fuck I can't last!" Jisung cried out.

"Then fuck her like you mean it. You don't get to cum until she does" Minho pulled back so just the tip was nestled into Han. Jisung gripped your hips with the power he had left and rammed into you. No longer were his thrusts thought out, they were driven by pure nature. As he withdrew from you he would be forced back down Minho's cock. A familiar sensation built in your body and you needed that final push to release it.

"Cum for us pretty girl. Cum for us." and with that you came hard on Han's cock. You were so out of it that you didn't notice that Han pulled out and finished on your ass. When you came too, Minho was clean, what you assumed was his cum, off of Jisung. You were already cleaned up and dressed in some merch they found. Time was running out for you all to be together so Minho had to make quick but efficient work of his aftercare. Staff escorted you to your car where you sat for a bit and thought about what just happened. You reached into your pocket to grab your keys when you found a little slip of paper.

"Our pretty kitty,

Call us when you get home. We want to talk about this arrangement further.

From, your two biggest fans."

#skz #stray kids #stray kids smut #skz smut #sweetie of the bakery #lee know x reader #han jisung smut #han jisung x reader #lee know smut #minsung smut #minsung x reader

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