#post-hell dean

[casismybestfriend]

suptober 4-5-6: nimbus, portrait, full spread

#suptober23 #inktober #artists on tumblr #destiel #dean winchester #castiel #fan art #my art #my posts #angel wings #angel halos #angel of the lord #raised from perdition #4x02 #i recreated the illustration from the manuscript in 4.02 of an angel raising a man from hell #i merged a bunch at once bc i’m travelling this entire week and won’t be able to do any 😔 #nimbus: the halo. portrait: the illustration i based this off of. full spread: his wings. or the pages of the manuscript

[franklespine]

The scene at the start of All Hell Breaks Loose where Dean talks to Sam's corpse in that shack in the middle of nowhere is soul crushing to an incomprehensible level that the show hardly ever manages to reach again.

Firstly, what is revealed about Dean as he spills his heart open is devastating on a whole other level. Like there's grief and then there's this - it's like a piece of him has been torn out and he's left unable to literally function. It's not really a new idea in the series up to this point that Dean has centered his life around his family, in particular protecting Sam. As he starts off, he wishes so desperately that Sam didn't start asking questions about their family so Dean could preserve his innocence just a little bit longer. No doubt John put a lot of pressure on Dean to protect and look after Sam, but taking on this role was something that was all but written inside him, as he says, John didn't even have to tell him to do it, Sam was his responsibility. The tipping point in this scene is when Dean finally asks "what am I supposed to do" - how can he even begin to move beyond this? He doesn't care if the world ends anymore, doesn't care if Azazel wins and he never gets revenge. In asking this question Dean realises that he is incapable of letting go of Sam, of the responsibilities to his family he has built his life around like the grain of sand at the centre of the pearl, and of the crushing guilt that comes with 'failing' these responsibilities. The only way forwards is to force the laws of nature to bend for him and bring Sam back from the dead, no matter the cost.

Secondly, this is heart wrenching to me for Sam too. Here he is, 23 years old and lying dead on a dingy mattress in a shack in the middle of nowhere - the only escape from his dark destiny found in death. But the primary reason it seems that Dean makes this massive sacrifice to bring him back isn't because he's 23 and has so much of life he deserves to live, but because he is incapable of living under the weight of his guilt in failing him - that he is Dean's responsibility that he can't live with letting down. And this is not to say that Dean doesn't also bring him back because he loves and care for him as a person, but it's not like Dean was sitting there talking to Sam saying you didn't deserve this, we were so close to ending this, you deserved to go on to have a life that hasn't been built around and in grief and revenge, hell, you could've even gone back to university and had your happy ending. You know? It's like selling your soul for someone is a crazy batshit insane thing to do - the ultimate sacrifice. But same as with John, it seems that the reason behind it wasn't just pure love and desire for that person to live just because they didn't deserve to die. John needed Dean to be there to ensure Sam didn't go darkside - to kill him if he can't save him. In both cases it was out of love, but in this weird objectified way.

It's just so fascinating how this dynamic between the three Winchesters, love and sacrifice plays out in the early seasons. How supernatural finds selfishness at the centre of this seemingly sacrificial selfless act. The selfishness in martyrdom.

That's why this scene is just heart wrenching in my sad insane little head. Sam and Dean were crazy codependants before this but this scene marks a turn for the worst (in codependence) for them. This scene is like the solidification of Dean's belief that he is worthless and incapable of functioning without the responsibilities he holds to his family and solidifies that Sam is the little brother possession for Dean to protect and regulate until his time runs out and he's shipped off to hell - leaving him at the centre of his massacred family with all the fingers pointing in his direction. His mum was collateral damage to his anti-baptism by a demon, his Dad sold his soul for his brother's life to be the final yes or no in the decision of whether Sam deserves to live or not, and now his brother's gone and done the same for him. But hey, at least when Dean gets dragged down to hell it isn't with the weight of guilt that he failed his responsibilities.

(spoiler alert: he feels guilty for leaving Sam anyway and Sam spirals anyway).

#supernatural #spn #sam winchester #dean winchester #theyre just silly #silly little guys #i mean i could go on and on about the selling soul thing in s2/3 as an allegory for the cycles of emotional abuse #but that is a whole other can of worms for a different late night text post #also MERRY CHRISTMAS #yippee #i hope anyone who reads this and anyone who doesnt a very happy holiday #spn 2x22 #all hell breaks loose #spn meta #i guess

[samdeancrimespree]

k hold on im going insane. so. what i just said abt dean beating up the car instead of sam. the Next Episode is the one where sam is like “you miss dad sooo bad and i can see right through you” “you can’t just substitute him with whoever you want.” and then dean punches him. guys if sam KNEW.

then sam is Begging dean to hit him. you don’t GET IT HES CRAZY.

dean doesn’t want to show these emotions to sam. he wants to be strong for him. so he tells gordon about them instead. but sam sees dean choosing gordon over him, believing gordon instead of sam. sam wants to be his equal, not his kid. dean doesn’t think sam knows what he’s doing. but sam understands dean’s emotions more than dean does.

so he goads dean into hitting him, just to prove he can take it. “you can hit me all you want. it still won’t change anything.”

we Know from how hands-on he is when sam gets injured that dean uses physical touch instead of words to show his emotions. if sam saw him fuck up the car, saw his warning, he knows that dean is struggling and wants sam out of the way so he doesn’t hurt him. dean might not even realize he’s doing it, but sam does.

and sam doesn’t let it go. sam shows dean that he’s here for him, no matter what dean does. if dean needs an outlet for his emotions, then sam will make sure it’s him. he doesn’t care that dean is messy and angry and mean right now. those emotions, those punches, are for sam. not for gordon, not for a monster, not even for his car. for sam.

#he’s so fucked in the head #i know there’s a bunch of posts abt this scene alr #but it’s making me even crazier today #the more i think abt sam realizing that dean is For Him the crazier i become #bcs dean will do it. hell do anything sam wants. literally anything #like sam is the sub but he’s also so completely in charge. Fuck #like. deans emotions are so completely about sam it’s actually crazy #even in this case where they’re about dad. they’re mostly about sam #everything is about sam to him #mars.txt #masochist sam #obsessive sam #wincest #i love you crazy girl #sex and violence #<3333 #spn studies

[paellegere]

i'm so wincestpilled but seriously the last like. 10 minutes of do you believe in miracles has completely melted my brain. what's up with that whole "i lied" thing anyway. it's so deranged on every level.

in 9.13 sam tells dean that given the same circumstances with reversed roles (on the brink of death with the only option being angel possession), he wouldn't try to bring dean back from the dead. aka, he wouldn't strip dean of his free will and autonomy just to keep him alive.

but sam lied. not just about what dean thought he heard—that sam wouldn't do everything in his power to bring dean back. no, sam lied about exactly what he meant.

because when dean's life is actually, tangibly on the line, all those promises he told himself go out the window. he'll look for a spell, sam says. he'll defy destiny yet again to keep dean alive.

he even disregards dean's wishes and will to die. dean is becoming something he doesn't want to be; he wants to die, to stop that from happening. but sam won't let him. "don't worry about the mark," he says, because he doesn't care what dean turns into as long as he's alive. and he doesn't care what dean wants or doesn't want, because he needs dean to live.

and then dean dies, and sam brings him back to the bunker, and he tries to summon crowley to make a deal and bring dean back to life. sam lied—he doesn't value dean's right to choose death any more than dean values sam's.

and for possibly the first time, sam is completely honest about this: to himself, and to dean. he tells dean that he needs him, that he'll go to the ends of the earth for him, that he'll do anything for his brother, just the same as dean would for him. no more lying, no more hypotheticals. the cards are laid out on the table for everyone to see, and sam is fundamentally the same as dean. this much is obvious, to anyone but them; it's not sam's first time doing completely unethical and unhinged things to keep dean alive. but now the facade has been torn off, and they can finally both see each other for what they are (psychotically, irrationally, erotically codependent on each other).

between this and sacrifice, they've both now obtained the stifling, all-encompassing, possessive love they desperately wanted from each other, like the sick fucks they are. how am i supposed to be normal about this? hello?

#supernatural #wincest #how is this real #mirroring season 8 and 9 was so fucked up of the showrunners actually #role reversing ahbl was too #and then on top of all of that. sam gets to be honest about just how completely dependent he is on dean #and this is a GOOD thing because it's what dean wants too. it's toxic as hell and that somehow is a GOOD thing #what is wrong with these brothers. jesus fucking christ #.txt #the winchester gospel #spn posting

[monstersandbrothers]

I am really truly not one to get into fandom discourse or get mad about people not liking a particular ship or get mad about people disliking a character. LITCHRALLY Whatever. It’s the internet and NONE of this is that deep. That being said it is absolutely laugh out loud funny to me when an anti wincester goes “EW. How could you ship them they’re BROTHERS??? They’re literally RELATED BY BLOOD HELLO??” As if that’s new information. As if that’s something no one in the history of the show has ever pointed out before. Like this is something revelatory that’s gonna wake me up and make me realize the error of my ways. They’re brothers Yeah exactly the reason we ship them in the first place. thank you for your concern tho <3

#we all discussed it in fact and were actually fine with the fact that they’re brothers <3 #this is the only petty post I will make on this blog #truly TRULY I don’t care but it always makes me lol #I had my heyday of being heavily involved in the discourse back in 2014 #and it was HELL on earth #I have NO desire to reenter that #just always makes me giggle #spn #supernatural #dean winchester #sam winchester #sam and dean #samdean #wincest #4 #life

[redmyeyes]

one brotherlook per ep -> 6x03 ❝ The Third Man ❞

#spn #spn 6x03 #spncreatorsdaily #canonspngifs #spnedit #samedit #deanedit #samdeanedit #brotherlooks #spn rewatch #the third man #* #these moments when dean tries so hard to reach out -- bc he thinks it's what sam needs/wants! -- and gets shot down #trying to do the same thing sam did to him post-hell #and s!s trying to reassure him in the only way he knows how -- with rational logic #dean's so unmoored by s!s #sam but not sam #it's confusing! it's agonising! #freaking heartbreaking

[insanesonofabitch]

It just fucking hit me that while Sam has never even heard of the Dean Cave until 13x16, it was one of the first places Cas checks when he arrives with the fruit from the tree of life. This is the same season Dean mentions having movie nights with Cas.

#huge shout out to that person on Reddit who mentioned this in their comment under a post of someone basically saying that Dean hates Cas. #they were fighting the good fight and WON. they ratioed the hell out of that post. #important question. is the dean cave soundproofed? #supernatural #spn #spn 13x16 #scoobynatural #destiel #deancas #casdean #dean winchester #castiel #dean x castiel #reiotalks

[spiritmunie]

Dean Winchester // hoax (Taylor Swift)

#happy bday dean!! I didn't have anything happy prepped so here's a sad edit #dean winchester #destiel #dean's hell trauma #dean and alastair #spn edit #spn web weave #deansbirthdaybash #scheduled post

[deadwerewolfgirlfriend]

Supernatural 13.20 Unfinished Business

#can't get over 'he used me he debased me until I was-' (and he can't even finish it). spn writers s'il vous plait the hell #too many things to talk about at once #this episode gives us so much in 43 minutes and I don't even know where to start #if I analyze on the post I'll be here 12 paragraphs later breaking down the minutia of Speight's fantastic performance this entire episode #long story short what they're saying in this scene is: #gabriel: asmodeus tortured me (I will kill them) (I know it won't fix me) (I don't care) (Loki is mine. this is mine.) #sam: I understand (of course I would take a shot at lucifer) (I'm ready to die) (I want to die) (did I ever escape? will I ever escape?) #dean: revenge is a waste of time (with me with dad it only ends ugly) (I tried) (I'm always trying to change it) (I can never change it) #supernatural #spnedit #spn #spndaily #supernaturaldaily #supernaturaledit #spn gifs #sam winchester #dean winchester #archangel gabriel #gabriel supernatural #the trickster #spn season 13 #my edits #something about how they never joke about asmodeus. or late seasons lucifer. now that they know them they know how bad it is #and sam immediately 'i know' vs. 'haha lucifer wearing sam to the prom' from s4-s5 #sam what happened to you in hell. dean what happened to you in hell. daddy's girl broke in 30 and the reject son has never been right

[sheepstiel]

there's just something about destiel fanfic written in 2009-2010.

#sassy af cas. post hell baby dean. insane

[babyblue-mind]

you ever think about how castiel has seen dean at his worst in way sam never has.

you ever think about how gabriel has seen sam at his worst in a way dean never has.

#dean torturing in hell before he is saved #sam being at his lowest after dean dies on the wednesday in s3:e11 mystery spot #ugghvh b h h h h h. i'm going to. explode #blue posts #text #spn #spn spoilers #dean winchester #sam winchester #castiel #gabriel #castiel spn #gabriel spn #destiel #sabriel

[youchangedmedestiel]

I've gotta say I'm a bit disappointed. I thought I'd woke up to Destiel trending since it became canon again.

Where are you, guys?

#destiel is canon #again #ben edlund #I know what I'll do this week-end #check every episode he wrote #destiel fandom #where the hell are you? #kinda my fault too I haven't post about it yet #well now I did #destiel #deancas #castiel #dean winchester #my random thoughts about destiel #my personal experience with destiel

[rosewheresheshouldntbe]

> Rose: Confess to Kanaya!

Rose: I love you.

Kanaya: Y Yo Ati, Rose.

> Rose: Get swallowed by something that looks like Venom.

> Rose: Get sent to super hell!

> Kanaya: Have something very gay and homophobic happen to you.

Kanaya: ...

What an absolute diversity loss. You find yourself thinking "love loses!"

#Okay this is my highest possible effort post so far; please spread it around like it's the flu or something #I put so many hours into this like actually lmao I surprised myself with how late I stayed up #going on a content hiatus soon so I suppose that fits that I put out a high effort destiel meme & scene recreation as a last hurrah #send in requests though; i'll get around to them when I get around to them! love to see what you folks come up with! #the sprite assets are up on my main but I'll reblog them here later; not sure if I'll have a tag system or not for it yet #new supernatural & homestuck memes format dropped along with a couple of spn AU designs & beyond canon too #yes I even included a shot of super mega turbo hell; it's got a little bit of everything as it should 🔥 #rosewheresheshouldntbe #kanaya maryam #rose lalonde #rosemary #homestuck #originals #hs rose #hs kanaya #spn #supernatural #destiel #dean winchester #castiel #please don't expect me to commit to the bit this hard every time because that's absolutely not realistic; I just got super into this 😂 #I can't believe I designed entire new outfits around rosemary just for the bit of doing this joke; just for this little side blog #the rose outfit is just an edited version of her hs beyond canon outfit; but still! I'm happy with how she & her wife look 💜

[sadgirlbadpoems]

Some thoughts on the Winchester brothers.

The alignment of Sam with Hell and Dean with Heaven happens well before we learn that they are the true vessels.

Sam refers to seeing himself as unclean or tainted due to Azazel's (yellow eyes). As though by ingesting the blood of a demon he fell from personhood so something othered and twisted.

Dean is Sam's savior, he pulled Sam from the flames as a child and raised him in their father's absence. Dean sees himself (and Sam) as righteous and good as they save people and fight evil.

As Sam uses his abilities both he and Dean fear that he is straying from this righteous path, even when the visions are beyond his control. When Sam discovers that Azazel wants him to lead the armies of Hell we see this cemented in his character, from birth he was watched over by Hell's forces to become a weapon.

Dean acts as a counter balance even before the boys discover the existence of angels where Sam seems to have a knack for falling in love or in lust with monsters, Dean's interests lie in humanity (until the angels enter the chat (Anna/Cass)

When Sam starts drinking demon blood he unwittingly offers himself to Hell in a way, allowing the lifeblood of the damned to enter him of his own free will.

When Sam made the decision to leave John and Dean not once, not twice but three times he was mirroring Lucifer leaving the Kingdom of his father, feeling undervalued and slighted by the favor of his father being given to another.

Alternatively when Dean stayed he was the faithful soldier modeled after the heavenly host. Unwaveringly faithful to the father that had forsaken and banished his brother.

#i be #i be thinking #yapping #professional yapper #supernatural #dean #dean winchester #spn #spnfandom #sam #sam winchester #john winchester bashing #two birds on a wire is their song #religious imagery #heaven #hell #foreshadowing #post rationalized #i have so many thoughts #and problems #playlist #spotify playlist #media analysis #Spotify

[earlgodwin]

dean's codependency towards sam codepended too close to the sun as even in the afterlife he kept the samulet because it brings him a sense of connection to his brother and then later risked being cast out of heaven by manipulating reality from up there because looking after sam is all he ever knew and his ideal scenario is his brother happily living his full life

#in the end sam got to live his life and died from natural causes then reunited with dean #and all the time dean was waiting for him after he finished with killing the monster in the afterlife that tried to destroy the earth #dean's willingness to take risks and defy celestial boundaries to protect sam had me collapsing on the floor #i'm violently sobbing #i wonder if kripke knew that we'd be so insane about these two deranged brothers #just when you think dean couldn't get more unhinged he surprises us with being extra over it #sam and dean insane as hell god for them #dean winchester #sam winchester #supernatural #the winchesters #spn meta #the winchesters meta #spn #samdean #sam and dean #text post

[horrorshow]

There's nothing wrong with having hope, Dean.

#spnedit #deanedit #corespnedit #dean winchester #supernatural #worst day to post this but whatever #dean #dean and hell #**