#real housewives of horror

[averysaurus]

You know how in Season 9 of The Office, things got a little stale because Michael Scott was gone, and the Jim/Pam tension resolved with their marriage and kids, so to keep things interesting the writers introduced the Sexy Boom Mic Guy who looked a little like Adam Levine. Just to make us feel like, oh no, will Pam be faithful even when tempted by the presence of a new sexy interloper?? And that's basically what Oscar was. Oscar was the Sexy Boom Mic Guy, there was no point to his existence except to introduce a jealousy arc between the dream team. We pretend this is a horror podcast but we're actually all watching real fucking housewives of Arkham over here

#real housewives but with monsters #Kim and Kourtney Take Miami And Fight Eldrich Tentacle Horrors From the Abyss!!! #malevolent #malevolent spoilers #malevolent 38

[purplezombietumbler]

Okey but hear me out:

Imagine a Total Drama like show (animated parody of reality TV show), but instead of Survivor, it's a Parody of Real Housewives, and its cast is Horror Icons.

Look I just got out of work and I'm tired.

#horror icons #real housewives #total drama #funny #Look I just got out of work and I'm tired #jason voorhees #michael myers #freddy krueger #billy and stu #scream #carrie white #M3GAN #pennywise #Jack Torrance #Ghostface #Hannibal Lecter #Jigsaw #Candyman #Chucky #Leatherface #Annie Wilkes #Norman Bates #The Babadook #Annabelle #orphan esther #Brahms Heelshire #Tiffany Valentine #Samara Morgan #Jennifer Check #Mary Shaw

[mysharona1987]

One interesting aspect of the new Halloween trilogy is: Jamie Lee Curtis is quite fine with looking her own age. That is odd for an actress in this day and age.

Oh, I don’t doubt she’s had stuff done, but she’s been conservative.

I’ll never forget when she showed up in a Real Housewives episode and was the only one attempting not to hide her grey hairs.

She looked like a hot 60 year old siren.

Everyone else in the room looked desperate.

#halloween #halloween ends #real housewives #horror movies #horror

[ffinalgiirl]

Real Housewives of Haddonfield 🔪🎃 Lindsey Wallace (Kyle Richards) & Mrs. Allen (Candice Rose) - Halloween Ends (2022)

#halloween ends #kyle richards #lindsey wallace #rohan campbell #corey cunningham #michael myers #laurie strode #allyson nelson #andi matichak #jamie lee curtis #halloween franchise #john carpenter #david gordon green #horror film #real housewives

[angelx1992]

#movies #horror #cats #church #pets #memes #woman yelling at a cat #real housewives #stephen king #pet sematary #cat #horror movies #meme #dale midkiff #denise crosby

[forkandknife]

I didn’t think that “horror” sounded like “whore” in my accent but I just overheard my roommates saying “…whore themed party” “horror?” “whore” “horror??” “no, whore” “WHORE??” And I have to admit. They do sound the same

#the context was they’re watching real housewives or something and only half paying attention and one thought they were having a #horror themed party

[thistleandwine]

You got your tits hanging out, your hair down to here! Ya got crazy eyes! You got fucking chicken in your purse, drinking fucking rosé behind the couch, screaming that it's cold in here – you're a horror show!

Bethenny Frankel to Ramona Singer The Real Housewives Of New York Season 9 Reunion

#hilarious #bethenny frankel #ramona singer #you're a horror show #rhhny #the real housewives of the new york

[shaun-middleton]

#RHOSLC #Bravo #real housewives #ghostface #scream 7 #horror

[hauntedtotem]

Doppelgangers mimic, it's in their blood, their instincts. They observe and copy, they peak into the lives of the unsuspecting and devour what they can, in every sense of the word.

It's necessary for their survival, to learn every detail of ones features. The better evolved members of their kind learn to perfectly imitate speech patterns and body language as well, leaving nothing out. Perfection is key, and a deep intricate understanding of their prey is what they strive for.

They pride themselves on their ability to reflect humanities ego back at them.

Some understand too well, and look deeper than what's necessary. Their human-counterparts oft hold secrets buried within, secrets they show no one, and yet the doppelgangers that select them seem to enjoy shouting such things out into the world for all to see.

Showing off what they've found, what was previously being hidden away from public eye.

A pilot who's mind races with endless possibilities and visions of death, who's witnessed carnage both of reality and illusion. Behind a stone faced facade and obscuring shades, paranoia clutches the mind and eyes dart nervously towards every shadow. The constant nagging of adrenaline and panic being held trapped behind an un-moving mask. An all consuming mind, seeing danger at every corner, only ever knowing peace while in the emptiness of the skies.

A woman who wills herself to be blind to her harsh reality. Portraying herself with an energetic and bubbly attitude, while miserable inside, refusing to speak of her past. Silencing herself for the sake of her and her daughter. Pretending she doesn't see that her daughter looks nothing like her ex husband, pretending she doesn't see the resemblance to her neighborhood milkman. Staying quiet, eyes and lips sealed shut. Keeping her secret away from even herself.

An uncaring, boring man to the public eye, who secretly relishes in the silent chaos he's caused for numerous marriages. Going about his day, hiding his sadistic smile behind a mundane lifestyle and tired eyes. Knowing the effect he has on unsuspecting and lonely housewives, it does wonders for his ego. He keeps it inside, not showing his twisted delight for home-wrecking.

It goes on, many doppelgangers seeing people's true colors and proudly putting them on display.

A miserable seamstress, a model with an fake smile and endless hunger for fame, a reporter melting under the pressure of his journalism- having to do stories on these monsters day in and day out, exposed to endless horrors.

Many may look at these mimics, call them lazy, say they don't understand what a real human looks like. But they know better than anyone what's in your heart, their depiction more accurate than those only portraying what's on the surface level.

A button is pressed, the curtains fall, and their performance is done as a siren mocks the sound of applause.

#Tnmn #thats not my neighbor #Francis mosses #nacha mikaelys #that's not my neighbor #steven rudboys #Ficlet #Tnmn fanfic #Headcanons #Nacha is divorced but not to francis- he's just a homewrecker #Also Steven has undiagnosed schizophrenia that he can't tell anyone about because he'll be discharged from the military #This started as a shit post and was going to end with peaches guy but I ended up liking it too much

[sgtmickeyslaughter]

#17 or #89 :)

this one was more fun than i thought it would be, I wanted Ian to cuss her out real housewives style, but i think he's learning to take the highroad

89. You’re not interested, are you? X 17. Good thing I didn’t ask for you opinion

Ian kept meeting up with Jill after they met for the first time at the pool, even though it seemed like her husband was steering clear of them after Mickey’s chair situation.

That was a couple weeks ago now, Mickey had chilled out slightly. After deciding that they would stay in the apartment he’d pulled out the wedding notebook, much to Ian’s horror, and switched the wedding magazines out for interior decoration. He was upstairs painting one of their bedroom walls as they sat out by the pool and Ian decompressed from the experience of picking paint with him. 

If Ian was being entirely honest, Jill bugged the shit out of him. After getting his number, she was texting him to hang out all the time, and Ian didn’t know how to tell her no, even as it became clear they had nothing in common. The surest way he’d figured out to get her to fuck off was to say that Mickey would be coming, which usually got their plans canceled in about five minutes flat. 

“What do you think of him?” Jill asked conspiratorially from her pool lounger.

“Who?” Ian asked, lifting his head up.

“Trey?” Jill said, like it was obvious. 

Ian followed her gaze and finally saw the blonde guy from earlier getting out go the pool. It only took about 30 seconds of talking to him at the gym to realize he was a fucking asshole. 

Still, Ian wasn’t going to tell her that. “He’s fine,” he responded noncommittally.

“You mean he’s fine” she laughed suggestively. “He just broke up with his ex-boyfriend Kris before you moved in, I could introduce you two properly if you want.”

“Thanks, but we’ve actually already met.”

“And you’re not interested, are you?” Jill asked disappointedly.

“I’m married,” Ian said confusedly. “You remember my husband, Mickey? He’s kind of hard to forget.”

“Obviously I remember your husband” Jill huffed out. “It’s just that- Ian, can I be frank with you?”

“Be my guest,” Ian responded, rolling his eyes. 

“Just because we fall in love with someone while we’re stuck in” Jill held her breath as she searched for the right words, explaining to Ian like he was a child “a less than ideal place in life, doesn’t mean we need to stay with them forever. Your husband - Mickey, clearly doesn’t belong here and you do! Sorry but that’s just my opinion.”

“Well, Jill, it’s a good thing I didn't ask for your opinion” Ian said sarcastically. “In my opinion it’s weird that you want to spend every day with your new gay best friend and check out guys at the pool instead of hanging out with your husband, which is what I would rather be doing, by the way.”

Ian stood up and put his shirt back on, “and, if I belong here, then Mickey belongs here. Because I belong wherever the hell he is, and if you bothered to try to find someone you feel that way about instead of eyeing anyone who’s only personality is their six pack you might realize that love is all about finding someone you love at every place in life.”

He fumed all the way up to their apartment until he burst into their bedroom, where Mickey was shirtless, blasting music and methodically painting the wall a rich, royal blue. All the fight left Ian’s body as he appreciated the way the blue complimented the cool tones in Mickey’s hair and skin. 

Instead of whipping him around and working all his anger out right there on the bedroom floor he slowly made his way over to the window and opened it, letting out some of the paint fumes. Mickey was working hard to make sure their bedroom was nice, so Ian could at least let him finish before they addressed his pent up energy. He lowered the music and collapsed on their air matress in the middle of the room, grabbing his book from the floor. 

“What are you doing back so early?” Mickey said, in lieu of greeting. “I thought Miss Priss was stealing you away all afternoon.”

“Fuck her” Ian said with a grin, knowing Mickey would be thrilled to hear him say it. “I wanted to come up here and watch you instead, so get to work.”

hope you liked it!

Prompt game fun!

#shameless #gallavich #mickey milkovich #ian gallagher #gallavich fanfic #sgtmickeyslaughter #prompt game

[crackerjackalope]

The Real Housewives of Innsmouth

Ever wanted to play a ttrpg about a bunch of catty fish women competing on reality tv? Ever wanted to absolutely screw over your friends in the name of petty revenge? Ever wanted to play a game the designer tagged both “eldritch horror” and “reality tv”?

If you answered yes to any of those questions then you should check out my latest game: The Real Housewives of Innsmouth! A game that lets you live out all your ugliest social fantasies!

Check it out on Itch here!

#ttrpg #ttrpg design #eldritch horror #reality tv #indie rpgs #oc

[happykinzz]

random marble hornets headcanons i need to share

Amy worked at a beauty boutique and specialized specifically in hair and makeup

She was also one of those super nice girls that would always compliment her clients and boost their confidence, :))

I know it's canon that Tim worked construction, but I do think at one point (either pre or post mh), he worked at a Home Depot or Ace Hardware for a long time.

Speaking of canon Tim facts , since he liked photography I think he specifically liked to take photos of sunsets, monuments, and those weird copper statues of children playing that you find on the street.

Brian played baseball in High School and was pretty good at it

He was so good at it he could've gone pro, but didn't cause his heart wasn't really in it (his parents made him do it in the first place)

Since Brian was a psychology major, I think if he ever graduated he would've become a child psychologist or an EMT

I know you need a lot more than a psychology degree to become an EMT but I just think that job just suits him

Brian also hikes a lot, and takes many photos of the plants and critters he finds along the way

He had a blog that documented all his findings, and always mentioned facts he found about the plants and animals he discovered

Whenever Brian and Tim hang out they like to either watch shitty horror flicks or shitty reality TV ( TLC, Maury, Dr Phil, Real Housewives, etc )

They both like to annoy Alex with their shows cause they know Alex thinks they're all stupid and are "mindless programming"

Alex's mom and Amy got along really well

Speaking of Moms

After Tim's mom abandoned him, she went on to become one of those "Lolcows" that constantly go on Instagram Live and argue with the "trolls" that are being mean to her

She's one of those people that believe that essential oils can cure every terminal illness ever and scams a lot of people with Go-Fund Me's and MLM scams she tries to sell

When people find out she basically left her kid to rot in a mental institution for the rest of his life it becomes a big thing and everyone on the internet is talking about her (karmas a bitch)

Nobody is actually able to get in contact with the actual kid though (Tim wants nothing to do with the situation, leave my man ALONE)

Brian had a lot of younger siblings that he always got a bunch of gifts for whenever he came home for holidays

#brian marble hornets #brian thomas #hoody marble hornets #masky marble hornets #tim wright #tim marble hornets #alex marble hornets #alex kralie #alex mh #marble hornets #amy walters #amy mh #amy marble hornets #marble hornets tim #tim mh #masky mh #brian mh #marble hornets brian #marble hornets masky #tim wright's mom #marble hornets headcanons #mh headcanons

[tinynightmarewoman]

Can I just... take my little 5:30 in the morning brain and just... fucking explain how much I viscerally hate the whole 3 way marital dispute going on in HOA?

Don't get it twisted, I know it adds to characters and adds tension that can make or break things or even kill people and all that... fancy shit... There is totally a place for the story line that is not my issue, but my God does it make me want to grind my fucking teeth in to a fine powder that I can snort!!

It is so overdone in my opinion, every other conversation between Eric, Racheal or Nick has something to do with that fucking love triangle and its just not worth it after awhile. It was interesting at the start, I mean our first introduction to Rach and Nick was them trying get down to pound town then OH SHIT Nick the husband is showing up and that was actually kind of interesting and I can partially get behind that... Its when it drags this dead horse down in to the ruins that fucks me up!!!

Like come the fuck on, you've just got jumped by the enemy, you've fallen God knows how far in to this endless abyss and now there's fucking parasitic vampire alien creature beyond human comprehension trying to bite you on the arse! What's that? You're still bitching about your loveless marriage? GET A GRIP!!!

There's vampire at the door looking for their next portion of Kentucky Fried Kolchek, Clarice is getting jiggy with the parasite in the corner and Basri is still out there swinging his dick about with his finger on the trigger and you're upset because Racheal hasn't given you head in a year??!! YOU'RE ABOUT TO FUCKING DIE!!! I came here for alien parasite vampire horror, not a scuffed episode of Keeping up with the Kardashians Iraq style!!

You can each other killed over this fucking dispute like come on its not that deep, you have bigger issues like, once again, ALIEN VAMPIRES!!!

I do have a deep appreciation for this game and I completely understand how someone can somehow tolerate or even like it but fuck me, just have a threesome you morons!!

The real housewives of Iraq type shit

#posting this to my loyal 2 followers #rant #the dark pictures anthology #dark pictures anthology house of ashes #house of ashes #dark pictures anthology #the dark pictures anthology house of ashes #Please don't insult me I'll cry #HOA

[hyperfixat]

~675 words of mammon comfort with CHAPTER 16 SPOILERS!

More Under Cut

Belphie’s freedom was for the best, to repair the brothers’ bonds. Belphie’s freedom meant hell for you.

Murder is hard to forget, and even harder to forgive.

There are phantom pains and touches on your neck. His hands gripped you harsh and with the intent to harm, to kill.

The six brothers that you initially met made you feel safe in a way you never felt in the human world. The most powerful demons in the Devildom, with a soft spot for the little human exchange student. You felt invincible at times with them by your sides.

But you are human. Humans die. You die.

Little things send your heart racing, fear like venom rushing through your veins.

This timeline’s Belphegor wants you alive, but only because you hold the precious blood of his dead sister in you. It’s not a good reason to not harm you by any means and it makes you feel a bit… icky, but at least he says he won’t hurt you again.

Belphegor’s word means little to you, but Mammon’s word carries the world.

Mammon had been absolutely shattered at the sight of your body crumpled and broken at the bottom of the staircase. His stomach had turned and he’d held onto your corpse with the ferocity of a fool in love. He’d cried and screamed and even considered prayer, but then you were there again.

Alive.

You both hurt.

Mammon and Belphegor’s relationship is more strained than pre-attic times. A part of you is regretful for this fact, but the other that clings to Mammon like a barnacle can’t care. Mammon is yours, just as you are his and right now lovers must reassure and mourn each other.

Nightmares after the incident are to be expected on both of your sides, even Lucifer falls prey to the nighttime’s horror. Mammon is the only one that slips into your bed and holds you to his chest like a doll, just to make sure you’re there with him and you won’t ever leave again.

Whoever claims that time heals all wounds mustn’t have died only to come right back to life and become friends with their murderer. Well, your situation is rather… unique compared to the average human experience.

Belphie makes you want to cry, barf, fight, and die all at once. The House of Lamentation is never quiet, but when he walks into the same room as you, the blood rushes to your head and all you can hear is the race of your heart and rush of blood.

You and Mammon are cuddled up on the sofa together, some Devildom Real Housewives rip playing on the television. The show isn’t terribly interesting, so you can relax on Mammon’s chest, listening to the drum of both his hearts (funky demon anatomy). He has an arm swung around your body so you can lean into him comfortably.

The peace of the moment shatters when Belphegor enters the room, lazily, slowly, without a care, but you’re stock still now, frozen against your favorite demon.

Mammon tenses up and shoots a withering glare at his youngest brother, who ignores him in favor of sitting on the floor with his back up against the couch, right in front of you. Belphie sets his pillow in his lap and leans his head to rest on the couch cushion, hair brushing your shin.

“Hey, what’re you doing, idiot? Go away.” Mammon complains, dragging you closer to him and breaking your small contact with Belphie.

“Mammon…” Belphie whines, pathetic baby brother persona coming out. His purple eyes plead as he turns them from the tele to his big brother.

Mammon doesn’t break, but he does break eye contact and averts his gaze to the television.

It breaks his heart, those nights you shake him awake, all teary eyed and begging for him to keep you safe. How could he not wrap you up in his arms through the comforter of the bed. Kiss your crown and murmur soft reassurances.

The Great Mammon won’t fail you again.

#verified hyperfixat post #obey me x reader #mammon obey me #mammon x mc #mammon obey me x reader #reader x obey me #obey me x mc #lesson 16 spoilers

[angelx1992]

#horror #movies #memes #cat #caturday #a nightmare on elm street #freddy krueger #friday the 13th #jason voorhees #friday the thirteenth #meme #stephen king #robert englund #girl yelling at white cat #woman yelling at cat #real housewives #pet sematary #church #monsters

[drdt-headcanons]

one for each of the cast

Teruko Tawaki: will probably end up being somebody’s baby mama and living off that child support after she actually put up the child for adoption but pretends it’s alive for the money

Xander Matthews: I feel like he’s definitely the type to see someone cry and immediately try to make them laugh or cheer them up, and he will do anything from dad jokes to peek-a-boo to see the person smile again.

Min Jeung: She loves Brooklyn, Spanish and Sicilian accents. She really loves all accents in general and can understand almost anybody if any accent, but those are her favorites.

Arei Nageishi: massive Hello Kitty/Sanrio girl. I mean this girl has the stickers on her backpack, folders, dorm room, plushies, etc. she also definitely runs one of those hello kitty toxic female meme accounts that have like 25k+ followers.

David Chiem: There will be times before events where David just does not have the energy to shower so he will just drown himself in perfume and no one tells him that it smells like shit, but it does the trick for him.

Charles Cuevas: This man knows Spanish, but he can not roll his r’s. I’m telling you this man probably had Hispanic parents who were dedicated to learning English and never taught him Spanish, or they had been in the USA for generations. Everyone he knows rips on him for this.

Whit Young: This man drinks up reality TV. I’m telling you he probably watches every single Real Housewives and TLC for hours with just himself, comfy pajamas and a bowl of buttered popcorn.

Eden Tobisa: her parents used to buy her the Lego friends sets and she’d always throw away all of the men in the sets and build each of the sets so her women would have new spaces to have their love-triangle romance drama.

Ace Markey: he definitely lives on some sort of secluded farm and he’s just part of one big happy family, but he always feels he’s the odd one out because of his cowardice, and he was the only one who always got scolded about behavior and grades, so he feels excluded from his siblings.

Veronika Grebenischikova: before she got into horror she used to be a scene/skater kid and she had tons of hair extensions and jewelry made out of Monster tabs. She now is more into gothic subcultures and music.

Rose Lacroix: At one point her and her family were living in their car, so before Rose got into forgery, she would sit for hours until her moms got home and would either beg for money or rob people so they could afford rent for an apartment.

Levi Fontana: Levi’s older brothers are similarly built to him except even taller and even buffer, but they also acted much more tough and got into things and places he shouldn’t have. He learned his bad behavior from them and his parents who had mental issues and could not hold a steady job.

Hu Jing: Her family is always her number one priority but even though her parents are very kind and supportive, she always feels like she needs to lie to them and keep up being a perfectionist and a perfect balance of Chinese for her parents and American for her classmates.

Nico Hakobyan: loves the cottagecore aesthetic and even though they like baggy clothes with the tags cut off most of the time, if they had to ever dress formal for smth, they’d wear a cottsgecore dress.

Arturo Giles: definitely is a drag queen in his spare time or is trans female. He’s constantly up to date with everything celebrity including movies, music and social media, and is the most knowledgeable of people on pop culture at any moment.

J Rosales: her and her brother used to pretend to swap genders when they were younger and they are both transgender and afraid to come out to each other, but the swapping genders game is a core memory

Thanks for reading :)

:)

#drdt #teruko tawaki #xander matthews #min jeung #arei nageishi #david chiem #charles cuevas #whit young #eden tobisa #ace markey #veronika grebenshchikova #rose lacroix #levi fontana #hu jing #nico hakobyan #arturo giles #j moreno #j rosales #angsty and fluffy drdt headcanons