#rosé angst

[jensettermandu]

looking for you in sunsets - rosé

genre; angst, some fluff

pairing; rosé x g!p reader

content warning; mature and sensitive topics that might not be suitable for everyone dealing with mental health issues. prioritize your health.

description; she is always there for you. you're always there for her. you two are always there for each other no matter how far away you two are and nothing would ever change that.

words; 22k+

masterlist

You sighed, toning out all the noise in the classroom with your eyes landing on the table right beside yours, the seat by the window. They always landed there, but it was empty and it made you wonder where your best friend Chaeyoung could be right now since she wasn't where she was supposed to be.

You tapped your shoes against the ground under your feet, waiting for Chaeyoung at the bus stop where you two always met since she lived just slightly outside the city. Ignoring the older woman that glanced your way, probably annoyed with how restless you were, but you didn't like waiting or standing still for too long. Humming quietly to yourself with the sun shining extra brightly today, hitting your back and warming you up. The sound of a vehicle approaching made you look up to see Chaeyoung's bus coming your way, slowing down the closer it got to the bus stop.

The green bus came to a stop at last, the doors opening and you smiled always thinking that those buses looked funny for some reason especially when your friend would jump the little gap between the ground and the bus. She did just that, her blonde hair bouncing with her before falling gently down her shoulders, shimmering in the sun together with her brown eyes that landed on you. You smiled big and watched her smile back, her eyes squinting and you always loved seeing her eye smile because it was truly one of a kind.

You basically skipped from your spot before walking to Chaeyoung who was approaching you. No matter what, it was always like a reunion with you two even if you had seen each other just a day before. "Finally." You breathed out and hugged her around her shoulders as she wrapped her arms around your waist since she was slightly shorter. "Stop acting like you waited hours...Plus, I told you exactly at what time my bus would be here." Chaeyoung said and made you squirm away from her when she poked your sides. You rolled your eyes and looked at your wristwatch. "Well, your bus was two minutes late." You pointed out, and she shoved you before grabbing your wrist, making you walk with her before letting go once you were walking beside her.

"Two minutes Y/n, nothing I can do about the bus being late." You looked at her as she spoke, Chaeyoung looking up from the ground in front of you two and looking at you, still with a smile on her face. She was always smiling and her smile was always so contagious that you could never be in a bad mood around her. You grabbed her hand and changed direction. "Let's eat, I managed to starve while waiting." This made her groan and let you drag her as she followed with heavy steps. "I am poor at the moment, Y/n." Chaeyoung complained and you waved her off, walking towards the small place where you two would eat as it was close to the bus stop. Sitting there and eating or just had something to drink usually while waiting for her bus when she had to go home or just eat like now.

"It's fine. I got my pay just a few days ago so it's on me." You explained since it never mattered. Sometimes you would pay, sometimes she would and no one counted the pennies cause they didn't matter in the end did they? They didn't, the time you two spent together was more luxurious and precious than the money you two would spend. "Do I get a milkshake?" Chaeyoung questioned and you hummed, getting closer to the small diner. "You get anything you want while I am rich." You confirmed and let go of her hand when you reached the door, opening it for her and letting her walk in first before stepping inside right after. The smell of fries and the oil they fried in immediately attacked your nose and you greeted the guy at the counter.

-

You two sat in the booth you two would always sit at, in the furthest corner at the place by the window. Always sitting in the same spot and you two had been doing it ever since you started coming to this place which was a good six years ago. That was when your parents started allowing you two to go out alone. You and Chaeyoung had known each other for 13 years now, meeting in kindergarten at five and since then you two had always stuck together, nothing separating you two- being 18 now.

"I doubt that these fries are made of potatoes." You chuckled at what she said, watching her eat the fry she inspected just a second ago. "That's what makes them good...I've heard that they used to coat Mc fries in beef fat to get that famous flavour, not sure if they still do it." She hummed and reached for a nugget in the box you two were sharing, ordering the share box for two people, just like always knowing that it was just enough to feed you both without any leftovers. "Not knowing what's in these makes them so much better...But chicken nuggets are so relatable, they are the most relatable food out there." You stopped yourself at that and looked at her with your head tilted.

"Am I going to get to listen to slam poetry about nuggets now?" You questioned with a smile, taking a nugget and eating it to stop yourself from laughing. "Do you want to? I came up with something good." Your best friend seriously said and you nodded, Chaeyoung took another nugget and held it so you could see it too. You watched as she thought it through for a bit before looking at you.

"We are all like chicken nuggets, a nugget is not real chicken, it's fake, but yet it's so delicious but also harmful and so are we. What's behind the crust is not what we want people to think, it's not chicken, but a bunch of goop containing God knows what, that's why we don't want anyone to find out what really is in that goop we are made of. Because what if people stop thinking that we are delicious if they find out that it's not chicken, that it's all fake?...That's all." You both looked at each other, trying to stay serious but laughed in the end. "But, it makes sense, doesn't it?" Chaeyoung asked through her laughter, reaching for her milkshake to try and calm down a bit, feeling her cheeks hurt from all the smiling.

You hummed, nodding your head at what she said because it did make sense although the fact that she was using a nugget for it made it ridiculous. "It actually does...You should write a poetry book, it would earn you big nuggets." You said and laughed at your own joke, stopping when you saw that Chaeyoung wasn't laughing at it. "You know because, gold nugget and you would earn big nuggets, basically a lot of money." You tried but she only glanced at you weirdly, making you flick a fry her way. "Hey!" She exclaimed and brushed the fry off her, throwing it at the napkin beside her.

"It was funny- but whatever, I will let you pretend that it wasn't...Oh! Jennie told me that you guys have a cheer contest in what was it like two months and that it will be quite big." Chaeyoung looked up from her food at that and looked confused for a second before it hit her. Almost forgetting about the contest she and the rest of the cheer team were competing in. "Yeah, it will be quite big since it's the annual cheer contest in the region Y/n." She let out with slight sarcasm since they had it every year and you made it sound like this would be the first time. You grumbled at that, it wasn't your fault that you didn't keep track of every contest and event that was going to happen. "Whatever, I saw the confusion, you forgot yourself. But I will be there and cheer for both you and Jennie, well, basically the whole team since it's a team sport. You guys won last year and are bound to win this year too." You excitedly said as you had always been cheering for them ever since Chaeyoung joined the team.

"Who's name are you going to write on your sign?" Chaeyoung asked with a teasing tone, but you rolled your eyes. "Yours and Jennie's, like I have been doing for the past three years." You stated the obvious since she always asked the same thing whenever there was some type of cheer contest. You always had hers and your girlfriend's name on that banner that was almost always your size, wanting everyone to know who the two best women in your life were. You loved both just as much, but it was just a different kind of affection. You were sure that you could have more than one soulmate and that not all soulmates were meant to be lovers although one was your lover and the other was your best friend.

"Are you going to need two people to hold it this time too? I feel like last year was a bit overboard, you got told to put it down since you were blocking the view together with Jisoo for everyone." Chaeyoung said and chuckled as you looked down, the moment was still slightly embarrassing although Chaeyoung and Jennie found it very sweet. You decided to try your luck and together with Jisoo made a giant sign with both Jennie's and Chaeyoungs names that needed you both to hold it up only to get told to put it down since the people behind you couldn't see a thing. "It's the thought that counts, but I think we might go smaller this year." You said, giving her a smile as you looked up. "Although, we are still going to cheer just as loud." You reassured her since you would still be screaming for the two even if the sign was smaller.

"Of course, you will." She said and sighed, grabbing more fries and you shrugged. There was no way that you wouldn't. "You guys cheer when we have games." You reminded her, the basketball team wasn't only known for how good you guys played but also for how supportive everyone was together with the cheer team that always made the whole crowd erupt into even louder cheers. "That's what the cheer team is for, isn't it?" You gave her a sceptic look. "Maybe, but you guys do it the best when we play, unlike the rest of the school teams...I think that's cause I am on the basketball team." You said, getting slightly cocky with it, but it was the truth. You had both your girlfriend and best friend cheering for you so obviously, the basketball team would have them cheer the best although they were always great.

"I think you as a captain tell them to perform better just for me." You continued and groaned once Chaeyoung kicked your shin. Sending her a glare as you reached under the table and rubbed your shin to ease the pain. "Keep on telling yourself that. As a captain, I tell them to give their best every time, Y/n." She corrected, and you waved her off although Chaeyoung was really a great cheer captain. "You're just too shy to admit that I am right." This time she threw a fry at you and you laughed. "Ok fine, maybe I make them perform the slightest bit better." She admitted not being able to lie to you.

-

You walked through the mall with Chaeyoung by your side, just wandering around the city like usual when you two were together. The nuggets were at the pit of your stomachs as you both were full. "Look, there's literally no line to the photo booth. Let's go." Chaeyoung exclaimed when her eyes landed on the photo booth you two skipped on last time since there was a line to it- last time the mall was pretty busy with people. "Last one there-." You didn't even get to finish what you were going to say when she raced right by you, already running to the booth. Without a second thought, you quickly took off after her, putting your long legs to good use and catching up to her. You were right on her heels, but it was too late as she landed inside the booth first.

"Oh fuck." You both groaned at the same time when you flew in right after her, forgetting to stop, colliding with Chaeyoung who collided with the wall, the whole booth rumbling with the both of you inside it. "I think I broke my knee." The girl whined and slumped down on the small stool inside the booth, holding onto her knee. "Can you even break a knee?" You questioned and chuckled at the whole situation as you stood leaning against the wall, catching your breath with your hands on your knees. "I'm not sure, but I fucked up something in my knee because of you." You lifted your head, looking up at Chaeyoung who was levelled with you, meeting each other's eyes.

"You sure? Let me see." You said and removed her hands from it, flicking her knee, making Chaeyoung smack your hands away. You laughed and she pushed you away from her. "It will be fine or do you want me to kiss it and blow on it?" Chaeyoung tsk'd and flipped you off. "You can kiss the tip of my finger." She snapped and you leaned forward with your lips puckered to kiss her finger, only to get your face pushed away with Chaeyoung giggling. "Stop being annoying and let's take those photos." You grinned at what she said and turned away from her to insert your card, wanting to take those photos with Chaeyoung to add to your and her collection with all the polaroid and other photos you had together.

You finished and shuffled over to Chaeyoung, standing behind her as she pressed the button. Posing with your arm around her shoulder, big smiles on your faces as the first photo got taken, changing pose for the next. You threw a peace sign, Chaeyoung winking with a pout with your cheeks squished together. It was as if you two were using telekinesis by knowing exactly what to do next, the both of you making faces for the third photo with giggles. "Goddammit Park Chaeyoung!" You exclaimed in pain when she bit your finger right when the last picture snapped. "That's for the knee." She huffed as you retreated your arm from around her, looking at the bite mark left on your index finger. "You rat." You said after seeing the teeth mark on your finger, the girl not caring as she got up from the stool and left the booth to take the pictures.

You flailed your hand as you followed her out of the booth, seeing her already holding the photo strip that had the four pictures on it. Looking as her smile grew as she looked over it carefully. You walked over to her and stood behind her, looking over her shoulder to see the photos too. "You're such a rat, just look at you." You laughed and pointed at the photo where she bit your finger, your face holding pure pain and her only holding pure satisfaction by getting back at you. "Want me to bite you again?" She threatened and your hands quickly went behind your back to avoid getting bitten again. Pursing your lips as she turned around to face you, shoving the photo strip into your chest. "You keep this one." She said with a smile and you took it.

"No, you can have this one...I think I took the last one we took together." You said about to hand it back to her, but she stopped you. "No, keep this one so you can remember not to mess with me." You chuckled at that and nodded, taking out your wallet and placing it inside it. "Just don't ruin it." She was quick to say when she saw you placing it inside the wallet. Chaeyoung frowned and took the wallet and strip from you, deciding that it would be better if she did it knowing how careless you could be, you did just run into her. "See, you need to be more careful...Some things are fragile, Y/n." Chaeyoung scolded and you just watched her before getting your wallet handed back to you. "I will keep that in mind." You said and put the wallet back into your pocket.

-

You grabbed Chaeyoung's favourite crisps from the shelf as you two were at the grocery store to get some snacks to then find some spot to chill at. Walking over to the fridge with sodas after. "Do you want ice tea as usual?" You questioned as you opened the fridge, Chaeyoung behind you hummed and helped you by holding the fridge. "Do you remember the ice tea toddy?" She asked and you chuckled at that, taking two iced teas, and handing one to Chaeyoung. "How could I forget...Jisoo still won't touch iced tea." You said and she laughed, nodding, it was an inside joke between your guy's friend group that had been going on for a year now. "It does work as a great mixer, but it's too good." You said and the blonde agreed.

Both of you remembered how Jisoo found out how good of a mixer ice tea was for vodka, to the point where she lost track of how much she had to drink and everything just reversed and she threw it all up. The girl still couldn't touch iced tea- the event had traumatized her so much. Just the smell made her gag. "Do you remember the little raft?" You asked, suddenly a lot of memories just came back and the girl bumped into you as she walked beside you, making you wrap your arm around her shoulders. "How could I forget? Jennie gave you the biggest scolding of the century." She teased and squirmed slightly when you pinched her cheek with the hand that was around her shoulders.

"I shouldn't have gotten scolded, it was Jungkook's fault I fell in the water in the first place." You said, you still were set on it being the boy's fault. You guys had found a random raft by the lake and you and Jungkook got on it, pushing it away from shore only realizing you guys had no paddles when it was a bit too late. It ended with Jungkook trying to jump back to shore since you guys weren't too far away, he managed to make the jump although he sent the whole raft flying together with you and you ended up falling into the water. "You two were stupid enough to get on that raft and push it away without any paddles." Chaeyoung said, knowing that it was stupid of both of you, but it was funny in the end and she still remembers all these things so vividly. Every single memory made with you and your guy's friends was always so vivid and she would never forget them and the same went for you.

"How about the time we had orienteering and you tricked our group out of the forest and to a diner instead." You said and a bashful smile spread across her face and she shrugged your arm off from around her. "I was hungry and did not feel like walking around a forest looking for checkpoints...In the end, everyone was happy." She explained herself like she has been doing for a good three years now. You guys were in a group of five and had orienteering for P.E. class and had two hours to try and get all the checkpoints. Chaeyoung announced that she was super good at it and would lead the way- only to lead you all to a diner. It ended with you guys getting five out of 15 checkpoints that were spread across the forest that wasn't too far from the city. Getting them on the way back from the diner after you all ate. "Everyone except the teacher." You pointed out as the teacher wasn't happy with a group of five people only getting five checkpoints in the span of two hours.

"When are they happy with anything?" She threw the question out there and took a turn with you as you needed to pick up one last thing before heading to check out. "It's a miserable job isn't it?" You said as you yourself would never want to work with teens if they were all like you and your friends. "Pretty much..." Chaeyoung trailed off as she watched you stop and look at the store shelf, realizing what aisle you had dragged her in. "How can you buy condoms right in front of me Y/n? I'm from a Christian household...no sex before marriage." Chaeyoung let out in pure disbelief, giving you a terrified look and you shoved her away slightly. "Shut up, Chaeyoung." You said and reached for the ultra thins since Jennie preferred it when you guys wouldn't use condoms, but considering that she wasn't on birth control that didn't happen often and this was the best option.

"What?" She asked confused, playing dumb and innocent which you knew she was not. "Are we just supposed to forget about Lisa the foreign exchange student from last year?" You quipped, knowing very well what went down since she had told you. You two told each other everything. There wasn't a single thing you two did not know about each other. "I don't know what you are talking about." She continued to play dumb and you gave her a look, seeing the small tint on her cheeks. Lisa was an exchange student at your school and you guys got along well, but she and Chaeyoung got along extra good and it was sort of a fling thing that ended once she left with no hard feelings.

"Or maybe your first boyfriend?" You added, being well aware of how much she hated when you mentioned that- it wasn't because it was a bad breakup or anything, it was because the girl was as straight as a circle and looked so stupid trying to date that guy when she was 15. It ended pretty quickly, but still, a few things went down and she wasn't the proudest of them. "Ew, don't mention him." Chaeyoung said and cringed, the two of you walking out the aisle, making it to the checkout now while grabbing a few sweets on the way. "Either way, you are no virgin Mary, Park Chaeyoung." You clearly stated and she quickly looked around you both before sending you a glare. "Jeez, Y/n louder. What if my sister would just pop out of nowhere and would hear you." She complained and you rolled your eyes at what she said.

"Oh, so you think your sister is stupid and doesn't know?" You asked, not believing that her sister didn't know that your best friend, Park Chaeyoung was no saint. "Yes, yes I do." She stated a quick and short answer, giving you a nod of affirmation as she was sure that her sister was very much clueless about it all. You stifled a laugh at that and looked as she ran her hand through her perfectly silky hair. Her hair fell down her shoulders and rested on her black hoodie that was contrasting her blonde hair. "Then you are the stupid one." You concluded as you two stopped in line to checkout. She scoffed at that.

"Just buy the fucking condoms so you don't get Jennie pregnant by accident." Chaeyoung let out frustrated now because you might've been right, her sister Alice was smart in the end while Chaeyoung was smart but was also a terrible liar. You laughed at that and patted her back to get her to calm down. "So, you don't want a niece or nephew to spoil?" Chaeyoung looked up at that, raising her eyebrows at what you said. "Does it look like I have the money to spoil a child, Y/n? I don't even have the money to spoil myself, let alone a child." She dramatically let out. "Ahh, you're being dramatic." You breathed out.

"I am not." She firmly stated, trying to keep up the act, both of you knew that it was all just jokes. Liking to act a bit dramatic whenever it was possible. "You are." You insisted and Chaeyoung scoffed, shaking her head. "Let's see who will be dramatic once Jennie gets pregnant." You chuckled at that and bit your lower lip. Somehow she always made you laugh with the simplest things, it was as if nothing else existed when you two were together. It was like floating in the air with no burden on your shoulders and you hoped that she felt the same way when she was with you. "She's not getting pregnant, not yet at least and when she does, you are going to be the godmother of our child." You stated as no matter what, Chaeyoung was always going to be part of your life and if she would refuse you would simply force her. Although there was no way she would ever refuse.

"You think I would be a good Godmother?" She questioned unsurely and you looked at her, cocking your head and quirking your eyebrows. "You'd be a great godmother and I wouldn't even consider anyone else." You stated with a firm nod and watched the smile on her face as she sighed, shaking her head slightly. You always made her feel so good about herself. The both of you placed the things on the band and suddenly Chaeyoung spoke up with confusion. "What do you mean not yet?" She asked and stopped in her tracks, only now realizing what you said. Looking at you, she instantly recognized that smile on your face that only meant one thing, it was something important and precious to you. That was the smile you had on your face whenever you were around her or Jennie- other friends too but it stood out around the two or when you talked about them.

"Can you keep a secret?" You already knew the answer as she kept every secret you told her between you two. Chaeyoung was the person you trusted the most, more than your own family, but on the second hand, she was basically your family. You two were like siblings, knowing each other for more than half of your lives. It felt good to be around someone who you knew, knew you better than you knew yourself, knowing that you could always listen to her and trust her and her advice. "Of course, I can. I know your deepest darkest secrets and never said anything to anyone." She said with a proud grin, it always made her feel more important when she knew that you trusted her so much. You took a step closer to her and lowered your tone slightly even if it wasn't needed since you didn't know anyone here, but it made the moment that much more climatic.

"I want to propose after graduation." You whispered in her ear and it went quiet for a second, nervously watching her as her lips parted and her eyes widened slightly. "What!?" She squeaked out in pure surprise, seeming like she was in bliss. "Yes, I want to propose after graduation and then we could live together while in college and all that stuff." You explained and smiled when Chaeyoung jumped in for a hug, her arms wrapping around your arms, giving you a bone-crushing hug that you tried to return the best you could with your arms restrained. "Oh my god, you should totally do it." She squealed out and looked up at you with her eyes glimmering slightly. Relief washed over you fully as she was the first person you told this to, like always being the one you told things first too. You knew that you and Jennie were only 18, but you two were already planning a future together- of course you included Chaeyoung in everything which Jennie was ok with seeing how there would never be a possibility to separate you and your best friend. She admired it.

"I am surprised that you are agreeing." You breathed out and she pulled away with her head tilting as you reached up to her face and patted away the few tears that rolled down. She was always your emotional little Chaeyoungie. "Why?" She asked and grabbed your hand that was on her cheek, holding it and you shrugged. "This is the first girlfriend of mine that you actually like...And you know how much I value your opinion." You said as you had a few girlfriends before and Chaeyoung was not fond of any of them although she seemed to love Jennie. "Jennie is great, both to you and to me...she doesn't have a problem with me being your best friend unlike the rest and she's just a keeper." She casually replied and you smiled, walking up to the clerk that was scanning your items. It was the truth, none of your exes was good enough for you in Chaeyoung's opinion and none of them really liked how close you two were either. Even if it was always platonic love since your friendship wasn't just a simple friendship, it was much more than that.

"She really is." You agreed and your smile made Chaeyoung smile this time, seeing how in love you were with that girl. Just like Jennie admired your and Chaeyoung's friendship, Chaeyoung admired your and Jennie's relationship. She knew that she was the right one in more than one way. "Mhm, although never forget about me." She hummed out and walked away when you had to pay, not being able to say much more. You quickly paid and thanked the clerk before, walking up to Chaeyoung since you knew that you could never forget about her. "I could never forget about you. You are moving in with me and Jennie when we take off to college." You watched as she just shook her head at what you said, helping you put everything in the plastic bag. "I don't know about that. Think I will rather be alone than share an apartment with you and Jennie." She only replied.

-

Somehow your and Chaeyoung's feet had their own will and walked you over all the way to the beach where you two would always sit together and just talk, sitting on the big rock where you had carved your names next to each other a few years ago. The cool breeze softly blew the salty air your and her way, the sun slowly setting but still keeping the breeze cool just cool and not freezing. You leaned back, holding yourself up with your palms as you looked over the ocean that seemed to not have an end, listening to the seagulls in the distance and the waves crashing with the rocks beneath you two.

"Could you promise me something?" Chaeyoung broke the temporary silence and you turned your head to look at her. Her gaze held some sort of longing as she looked over the horizon in front of you guys. The wind blew through her perfect hair, her eyes squinting just the slightest as the wind hit them. Her brown eyes glimmered from the orange sunset that hit them just like the water was glimmering below you two. You hummed and watched as her jaw clenched for a split second before she loosened up again and looked down at her feet with a sigh. It always ended the same with you two sitting and making promises to each other, some people would probably find a few of them meaningless but to you two they were worth more than gold.

"Promise me that you will propose to Jennie after graduation and keep her for the rest of your life...I know that you said that you will, but I really don't want you to change your mind, I want you to proceed with the future with Jennie there. We're only 18 and things can just change in the span of one night or even a second, but I don't want that to change...It would mean a lot to me if you would be able to promise me that even if it is quite big of a promise to keep." You almost managed to miss half of her soft-spoken words that disappeared with the waves as they left her lips, but you still heard every word of her. "And while you're at it, I want you to promise me that you will never forget me Y/n." Chaeyoung added and you watched as she moved her feet around a little, waiting for you to say something.

You tilted your head and smiled a little, extending your hand to her, making Chaeyoung look at you in the end. Holding out your pinky for her, a pinky promise made between you two was never allowed to be broken and this was a promise you would never break once the deal would be sealed. A smile grew on her face and she hooked her pinky with yours as you two just looked at each other in silence. "I promise you that I will propose to Jennie and keep her for the rest of my life and I will never ever forget about you Chaeyoung...I don't know how you could even think of that, but I will never forget about you because just like I am going to keep Jennie with me for the rest of my life, I am going to keep you too." You promised before you two touched thumbs, sealing the promise forever.

"Thank you." Chaeyoung breathed out in relief and unhooked her pinky with yours before wrapping her arms around your shoulders, hugging you tight with her face buried in your neck. You wrapped your arms around her waist, getting embraced in each other's warmth and no other hugs compared to the ones you shared. "I just want you to be happy." She mumbled and pulled you closer to her, resting your chin on her shoulder, feeling her hands clutch on your hoodie as if you would disappear any second now. "I want the same for you." You replied as you only wanted to see her happy and content, both of you wanted the best for each other. She only hummed, sighing into your neck as you both stayed in each other's arms.

"I really love you, Y/n." You smiled at her words and sighed when you heard her sniffle before feeling a few tears hit your skin. "I love you just as much...don't cry because I will start crying too." You said, feeling your voice quivering as you spoke because her tears were just as contagious as her smile was. It always ended with both of you crying if the other one would cry. "It's just that...you're the best thing that has ever happened in my life Y/n and I wouldn't change it or have it any other way. There's not much to my life without you, it's not as interesting when it's just me." This time you could feel the prickling in your nose, the tears brimming your eyes as a sob left her lips, her hot breaths fanning your skin.

"I wouldn't have it any other way either, but your life is much more than just me and you know it...There's just one of you, you're Park Chaeyoung and that's what defines you, not me." You said since you two maybe fulfilled each other's days, but if she wouldn't be Park Chaeyoung then it wouldn't be the same. The way she was defined her and not you. "I am me and you're you...that's what makes it special." You whispered and blinked away your tears. "You're special to me." She mumbled and you slowly pulled away, quickly wiping your eyes before looking at her, holding onto her shoulders. You wiped her cheeks with your sleeves before the wind could do it for you. Leaning over and leaving a peck on her forehead. "You're special to me too, Chaeyoung." You said back and removed the hair that the wind blew in her face, looking into her brown shimmering eyes and she smiled through her tears, giving you the eye smile that you loved so much.

-

You held Chaeyoung's hand, holding it inside your pocket to try and warm her as much as possible as it was starting to get cold now, waiting for her bus. "You sure that you don't want me to take the bus with you?" You asked to make sure since you offered to take the bus to walk her home, but she shook her head no. "Yeah, I like taking it alone...it gives me time to just think." She said and looked at you with a smile, you nodded knowing that she enjoyed riding the bus alone to just get lost in her thoughts. "Say hi to Jennie from me." Chaeyoung reminded you. "I will. You've been hanging out with everyone lately, haven't you?" You put it out there since she was with Jennie yesterday and the other days she hung out with Jisoo and another with Jungkook and so on aside from hanging out with you almost every day, but you two often were together.

"I've just missed everyone lately although today was memorable with you as usual." You gave her hand a squeeze, everything with her was memorable and fun. That was the thing with Chaeyoung, she wasn't just a great best friend to you, but she was truly a great friend to everyone. "It always is." Chaeyoung slithered her hand out of your grip and hugged around your waist again, making you hug around her shoulders, resting your cheek at the top of her head. Taking in her smell, those smells from one's childhood that always brought back nostalgia. Chaeyoung's smell was just that, she brought you so much nostalgia, comfort and memories, she made you feel safe with just her smell because it was so familiar, it made your inner child feel safe because that's what you had always been ever since you two met. Safe, comfortable, and content and it was just perfect.

"You're the bestest friend anyone could ask for Y/n." You chuckled at her words. "Just like you, you're the bestest of the best." Chaeyoung giggled at your words and you kissed the top of her head, taking in her smell before you two pulled away when you heard the bus approach. "Text me when you get home, alright?" You said as you held her shoulders, the girl nodded with her smile still there and you gave her a big smile too. "I will...I love you Y/n." You chuckled when she gave you a peck on your cheek and walked her to the front door of the green bus as it opened. "Be safe...I love you." You said and let go of her hand as she stepped onto the bus without another word, waving at you as the doors closed. Standing and watching her take a seat, waving at each other before the bus took off, not leaving your spot until the bus disappeared out of your sight.

-

"Could you hand me my wallet? It's in my pants." You asked Jennie as you laid in her bed in your boxers. She hummed as she finished up by her vanity table, turning off the lights on the mirror before she got up from the chair. Laying sprawled out on her bed under the covers as you watched her walk over to the armchair where your pants were laying with the rest of your clothes. Your girlfriend was already in her pj's as it was around 1 am and you got here at around 10 pm. Jennie reached into your pocket and took out your wallet before she scurried over to the bed, making you chuckle, lifting the covers for her seeing that she was in such a hurry since she was cold. The girl quickly cuddled into you, putting her head on your shoulder as you wrapped your arm around her waist.

"Here you go, baby." Her hand came up from under the duvet, holding the wallet out for you. You pecked her lips as a thank you and Jennie watched you open your wallet, making her move slightly so you could use the hand around her waist a bit better. You took out the photo strip since you didn't want it to get ruined in your wallet and Jennie guided your hand so she could look better at the photos. "Told you that she bit me." You said since she didn't believe you earlier, watching Jennie smile, yet another one of your favourite smiles. "You probably deserved it though, I know how you can be so I don't blame her." She simply stated, knowing you very well too. "Aren't you quick to pick sides?" You only received an eye-roll from Jennie at that as she was still looking at the photos.

"These are cute though, just don't ruin them by accident." Jennie said and looked over the photos one last time before letting go of your hand. You hummed and put your wallet on the bedside table by your phone before placing the photo strip by your things too. "That's exactly what she said too." You said, remembering how Chaeyoung told you how some things are fragile, seemingly she wasn't the only one that knew how careless you could be but Jennie knew that too. "Well, some things are fragile." It almost felt as if it was Chaeyoung speaking as she just said the same thing as her. You sighed and turned your body to lay on your side, meeting Jennie's eyes.

Chuckling as Jennie's hands tried to squeeze themselves under you for more warmth as her body was still a bit cold. "Is it that cold?" You questioned and Jennie pouted before nodding her head. You pecked her lips, trying to pull away but she chased right after you, making you lean back in, giving her a lingering kiss instead. You pulled away and Jennie groaned when you moved to lay on top of her. "Is this warm enough, baby?" You asked, trying your best to just warm up your girlfriend since she seemed to be freezing cold by shoving her hands under your body to warm them up. "You're crushing me." Jennie whined out, but it quickly turned into giggles as she squirmed under you trying to get you off her.

You wrapped your arms around her waist and with a huff turned over, taking Jennie with you who squeaked in surprise. "Y/n, my parents are asleep." Jennie warned not wanting to wake her parents up, acting like you were the one to let out that squeak. "I am positive that the squeak did not leave my mouth but yours princess." You said as her voice was lighter than yours and this time you tried to squirm away from Jennie when she poked your sides, making you squeak this time. You laughed as she continued to tickle your sides, her shorter frame basically glued on top of you as you couldn't seem to push her off you. "I am going to scream if you don't stop." You laughed out not knowing what else to say as she wouldn't stop tickling you, slowly getting out of breath.

You got stopped from making any type of sound when Jennie quickly kissed you when you were about to scream. Kissing back as she slowly moved her lips against yours, your breathing still heavy after her hands attacked you, making you pull away sooner than you wanted. "I love you." Jennie said right after you two pulled away, your arms wrapped around her waist, hugging her closer before lifting your head to peck her lips. Jennie sighed and placed her head right below your chin, leaving a lingering kiss on top of her head and closing your eyes. "I love you." You mumbled against the top of her head, unwrapping your one arm to pull the duvet over you two before sneaking both of your warm hands under her shirt, caressing her skin. Jennie hummed and you felt her lips leave a small kiss on your collarbone. The comfortable silence between you two engulfed you both, leaving you with a soft and warm feeling with each other.

Jennie flinched slightly on top of you, getting startled by your phone that went off, buzzing on her bedside table. You looked towards your phone, Jennie pushing herself up slightly and reaching for it, a small frown appeared and she looked confused. "It's Alice...you should probably answer, it might be important." Jennie said and handed the phone to you, both of you confused about why Chaeyoung's sister would be calling you at around 1:30 am. Taking the phone, you answered and Jennie watched you do so.

You didn't even manage to ask her anything before feeling regret at picking up this phone call because this phone call was going to be the cause of many sleepless nights. You unwrapped your arm from around Jennie, sitting up on the bed and your girlfriend felt nothing but worry as she sat beside you, watching all the different emotions go through your eyes before they held nothing else but tears. You could feel your whole body and brain just shut down at what you got to hear, clenching the phone in your hold so you wouldn't drop it as you felt the energy get drained from you. A sob left your mouth as Alice finished explaining what happened to you and you only hung up on the crying girl.

"Y/n...what happened-." You cut Jennie off as you broke down in tears, getting pulled into your girlfriend's arms. "Chaeyoung- she- she's...Jennie, she's-." You couldn't form a sentence as you choked on your sobs, gripping onto Jennie's shirt. Jennie had seen you break down and cry before, but this time it was different, your cries held pure pain, and suffering and she felt her own eyes tear up, trying to hold you as close as possible as you cried on her chest. You felt your heart clench so hard that it broke to pieces and the air just got heavy around you and you knew that it would never be light again. "She's gone...Chaeyoung- she's- she...killed herself." You forced the words out of yourself as you didn't dare to accept them let alone to have to say them out loud was torturous.

Suddenly your whole life turned around in the span of a second.

Or maybe this wasn't where she was supposed to be at all and she actually was where she was supposed to be. Maybe Chaeyoung was right where she was supposed to be. That was the thing with Chaeyoung no one ever knew what she was up to or where she could be unless that someone was you but now even you couldn't tell where exactly she was except that she was gone and no longer here. Your best friend was no longer by your side and hadn't been for the past two months.

You had spent the past two months wondering if you missed any signs, but it only turned out that Chaeyoung didn't tell you everything. She told you what you wanted to hear, what she wanted you to hear and believe. She never wanted you to know what was going on in her life because she preferred to see you smile, to see you being happy around her and not worried. That's what you tried to assume.

You continued to fiddle with the sleeve of your hoodie and blinked your eyes to stop your tears from falling in the middle of class, you couldn't tear your gaze away from her seat that was right next to your table. Even if it was the case that this wasn't where she was supposed to be, in your head, this was right where she was supposed to be. Chaeyoung was supposed to be sitting right there, she was supposed to be talking to you in a hushed tone while the teacher is busy explaining in front of the class. She was supposed to still be here, be with you, hang out with you, you two were still supposed to share secrets with each other and make promises.

That day was the last time you hugged Chaeyoung, the last time you heard her voice in person, the last time you felt her body while it was still warm, the last time you both said 'I love you' to each other. That day you heard her laugh for the last time, say your name for the last time, you two made your last promises that day, the last time you saw her smile at you. That day was the last time you created memories together with Chaeyoung. Now she was gone.

You got stopped from pulling on your sleeve when Jennie grabbed your hand in hers sensing that nothing was ok right now. Nothing had been ok ever since that phone call, but you managed to somewhat keep yourself together to attend school again, but there were still those moments where you would falter and break down against your will. Jennie excused the both of you and got you to stand up and follow her out of the classroom.

Walking out of the room, she closed the door after you two and you already had tears in your eyes. How were you supposed to cope with the death of your best friend? Of someone who you were closer to than your own family, someone you knew most of your life. Your time together with Chaeyoung was cut short, against your will but by choice for her.

Chaeyoung left you.

"We should definitely go out for ice cream after practice...it's so hot today." Chaeyoung let out, a big smile as you two walked through the hallway. The girl was in her cheer uniform as she had her practice to attend, but tried to hide from her duties for a bit since it was too hot outside to continue jumping around in her opinion. "Oh Chaeyoung, practice first, ice cream later." You said as you bumped into her when you were passing through the empty hallways on your way to watch their practice since yours was done. Knowing that Chaeyoung was at the wrong place as the cheer captain- standing by the vending machines in the canteen and not on the field with her team.

"It's ok, I told Jennie to take over while I handle some business." She explained and skipped in her steps, it was much cooler inside than it was outside especially now that school was over and the hallways weren't packed with students. You laughed at what she said and she looked at you, she was about to stop in her place probably wanting to drag this out to not have to go out on the field again, but you were quick to put your hand on her back so she would continue walking. "What business do you have by the vending machines, Chaeyoung?" You questioned and she sighed. "Those are questions that I do not have to answer." You hummed, nodding your head already knowing that she was there to get snacks while her team was out there in the heat.

"Last one at the field pays for ice cream!" Chaeyoung exclaimed while already running ahead of you. "Hey!" You exclaimed and took off right after her, trying your best to catch up with her as she got a head start. Your laughs echoed around the hallways of the empty school.

You took her for ice cream that day and you paid too since she was the first to reach the field.

You sniffled as you looked at the hallway that was just as empty although this time none of your waves of laughter echoed around it. "Baby...talk to me." Jennie let out, worried sick about you. She didn't leave your side for a second ever since that night, staying right by your side to comfort you and just be there for you, she could only imagine how difficult it was for you and yes she herself had been grieving but the bond between you and Chaeyoung was just different- it was a loss for everyone who knew the girl though. One of the reasons why she really didn't want to leave your side was because she was scared that she would lose you too. Either lose you in all your sorrow or the same way they all lost Chaeyoung.

"How is everyone just moving on?" You croaked out, the tears in your throat suppressing your voice as the lump was there. There was no point in trying to hold back much more as a sob left your mouth. The shorter girl pulled you aside and away from the door, stopping by the lockers, holding onto your hand as her other reached up to your face, wiping away your tears. "Everyone is acting as if nothing happened." You cried and slumped your back against the lockers behind you, looking at your hands that continued to fiddle with the material of your hoodie.

It felt like you were the only one left that was still crying every night about Chaeyoung or waking up in the middle of it because you had such vivid dreams about Chaeyoung still being alive that you woke up happy only to break down within a second. Everywhere you looked, everyone had moved on with their lives while you were stuck in the past, still refusing to accept the fact that she was gone. "Everyone is just coping differently." Jennie tried, she maybe wasn't going through it as bad anymore but that was because acceptance came easier for her than you in this situation and she didn't blame you. No one would truly ever just move on from this.

"And for some, that means acting as if nothing happened and I know that it hurts to see people act like that, but it's different for everyone, Y/n." There was nothing you could do about this. First of all, you couldn't bring your best friend back- she wouldn't want to come back because she left by choice. Second of all, not everyone grieved the same way, but you hated to see how everyone just went on with their lives, went on with them without Chaeyoung there. How do you go on with your life when the person you planned your life with wasn't there anymore? You hated it.

Your eyes met Jennie's at last and you hated yourself for worrying her so much, you could see how worried she was every day and how she refused to leave you for even a second. Following you like a puppy because she loved you so much while you were too busy drowning in the sorrow Chaeyoung left you to even try and show how much you loved her too. "I'm sorry." You apologized and grabbed her hand that was on your cheek, taking it and leaving a kiss on her fingers. "You don't have to be sorry for anything Y/n. I am here to be through it all with you and it doesn't matter how long it takes...Just don't close yourself off from me." You only broke down more, Jennie pulling you down and hugging around your shoulders as you buried your face in her shoulder.

"I lost my best friend Jennie." Your voice cracked with each word as you were still trying to figure out why she left you. Why were you, the one to lose your best friend? No one should lose one, whether it is by death or another type of separation that isn't death. It felt like you lost a part of yourself together with her. "I know, I know." Jennie whispered in your ear, giving the side of your head a peck as she gently scratched your scalp in a try to comfort you so you would know that she was right there for you. She was there to hold the part of you, you thought you lost for when you would want it back.

You looked up at the sound of things rustling, Jennie holding onto your shoulders, her head turning to look where you were looking when she saw a frown covering your eyebrows. You were no longer in her arms as you walked towards the janitor, wiping away your tears while sniffling. "What're you doing?" You asked him pissed as he was by Chaeyoung's locker, your fists clenching in nothing but anger as he threw another teddy bear into the cleaning trolly. "Cleaning...it's the principal's request." The older man said, about to reach down for another one of the things by her locker that students at school had put there to honour her memory. Everything from notes, plushies, flowers and much more.

You were quick to grab him by the back of his shirt, preventing him from doing so, not caring about the consequences. "I don't give a fuck about what he wants...leave her locker alone." You gritted out, doing your best to not let your voice break like the rest of your body was, every piece of you cracking like thin ice. Pushing him away, making the man stumble back a step or two. "Y/n, calm down." Jennie quickly interfered not wanting you to get expelled on top of everything. You huffed as she gave you a look and you turned around, looking at Chaeyoung's locker that hadn't been used by her for two months now while Jennie tried her best to excuse your behaviour, succeeding as the janitor walked away with the trolly.

She turned around to you with worry when she heard one of the lockers rumble, punching the locker that was next to Chaeyoung's. You ignored the pain that spread through your whole hand, landing another one before landing more punches to it. You were so angry with the world. Who else could've done her wrong if not for the world and the people in it? Did you possibly wrong her too? You couldn't recollect, but maybe you did her wrong somehow. The anger and hatred you felt numbed the pain in your knuckles and maybe if you hurt yourself physically then just maybe, the emotional pain would disappear...even if it would be for just a second. You would be numb for just a second and that would be enough of an escape from all the emotional pain in you.

Jennie almost flew together with your fist into the locker when she grabbed onto your arm to stop you- succeeding without getting hurt in the process. "Stop hurting yourself." She basically cried out as this time her tears fell too, not being able to hold it together. It was hard for her to keep it together when you would cry and break down, but seeing you hurt yourself because of it was just the last straw for her to break down too. "Stop." She mumbled, her grip on your arm tightening. You swallowed, your throat hurting as you just wanted to scream from the pain that was growing inside you. All those screams came from the top of your lungs only to not pass your throat and instead just gather there and create a lump that was hurting. "They can't just get rid of her things...this was Chaeyoung's." You pushed the words through the screams that clogged up your throat because words were the only things that could leave your mouth.

Jennie ran her hands down your arm to your hand, unclenching your fist, your hand trembling from the blunt force trauma caused by the impact at which you threw those punches against the locker. Your knuckles were red already with the few places where your skin split open the slightest, blood oozing from those spots- it wasn't deep and it wasn't bleeding a lot, but it was enough to make Jennie more worried. "You have to let her go at some point." Jennie stated, knowing that it would only get worse if you wouldn't try and accept things as they were even if it was difficult. She didn't want to see you lose yourself this way, she didn't want to lose you.

Her grip on your hand stayed when you tried to pull away, so, you instead turned around and leaned against the locker, sliding down to the floor with Jennie crouching down in front of you. Her gaze stayed on your trembling fingers and she knew it was hurting- both the injury you caused yourself and everything else. "I don't." It came out as a whisper, the salty tears running down your cheeks. They were salty enough to hurt if they came in contact with a cut. They were so harsh that they hurt your eyes. "You have to, she won't be able to rest otherwise, not if you keep on acting like this." She tried to make you understand, wiping her tears with her free hand before her thumb ghosted over your bruised knuckle. Acting so negatively wasn't letting your best friend rest, holding her back because you were worrying her and you knew that in the back of your head, but you ignored that part of your head.

"Why would she get to rest? I haven't been able to rest for months because of her choice and I am just supposed to let her rest? She doesn't let me rest either." You argued, hoping that Chaeyoung was listening to you right now so she could hear how tired you were too now. It was all exhausting and every night you spent awake you spent it crying or wondering why she left you. She didn't even say anything, leave anything...no, she definitely left you a lot of things, one of them being the confusion about why she even left. She seemed so happy. Or you just didn't know your best friend, as well as you thought that you did. Would she still be here if you did anything differently? What if she would have stayed if you just simply had walked her home that day? Would something like that be enough to make her stay?

"Y/n...she left us because she was tired and now you're preventing her from getting that rest." You took in a shaky breath and closed your eyes, the only thing you could see every time you closed them was Chaeyoung and you hated it because she would always be smiling at you. Every time the sun was shining and warming you, you could feel Chaeyoung's embrace. You could still remember perfectly how it felt to hug her and to be hugged by her, crumbling apart every time as you were scared that you would one day forget how it all felt. You didn't want to forget any of those things. You didn't want to forget her. You wouldn't forget her.

"I am tired too yet I am staying." Jennie bit her lower lip and you opened your eyes. The only thing you could do now was to imagine Chaeyoung still being here, imagine all her laughs, smiles, cries, hugs and all the other things. Her smaller hand came up to your face, trying to wipe away your tears as her sleeves and skin have been soaking them up like grass soaking up water when it rains for two months now. It was a storm, but she wasn't going to leave and seek shelter, she was there to stand with you in the middle of it and let her whole body soak up every drop of water- every tear. "That's different, baby." Jennie said, she knew that you were hurting and that it all felt useless for you right now, but you were grieving the death of your best friend and would hopefully come to terms with what happened. Chaeyoung's story was different from what all of you guys knew. Different enough for her to not be able to stay.

You shook your head, not wanting to see it as different though. You wanted to believe that Chaeyoung had every reason to stay just like you. She made you look at her and you only now saw that your actions from a few minutes ago must've scared and hurt her. She was worried and she was here for you, but you couldn't help but yearn for someone who no longer could be here for you. "You have to understand that she just wants to rest now, but you're not letting her. You're tiring her out when she's about to reach the peace she left us for...You have to let her go and remember her for who she was and not for the pain she left. I don't think Chaeyoung would like seeing you like this...I think you would make her feel guilty and sorry for something that was her choice." You glanced beside you at all the things lying in front of your best friend's locker.

"I just want to know why...Nothing is clear to me, it just doesn't make any sense to me." How could you accept anything when you didn't know why she left you? You ran everything through your head, but there was nothing that answered the why's. You held back a groan at the pain that went through your hand, but Jennie clearly saw the pain on your face. Jennie took your injured hand, holding it with both of her hands as she looked at it with a pout. "Please don't hurt yourself again- I- it's too much for me to look at and it hurts me too...I love you too much to be able to see in more pain." She said as you two were always honest with each other. Jennie was always so honest with you and it instantly let you be honest with her too, trusting each other with your words.

You ignored the pain in your hand for the moment, a small yelp leaving Jennie when you pulled her to you, hugging the girl close as she was on her knees on the floor with you, hugging around your nape. "I won't, I'm sorry...you know that I never would hurt you on purpose or do anything to hurt you. I love you way too much to cause you pain, Jennie." You apologized, it was something you had been doing a lot lately, feeling like you wronged everyone ever since Chaeyoung left. Although Jennie reassured you every time that it was fine and you didn't have to apologise for grieving. "It's ok...I'm gonna make sure that you get through this without any more bruises." Jennie stated as she was determined to get you through this, pulling away as she cupped your face, still holding onto her waist. She leaned forward and left a peck on your quivering lips.

"It's fucking horrible isn't it?" You asked Chaeyoung and watched as her features turned into a slight cringe and you groaned, letting your forehead meet the table as you rested your head against it. You were supposed to write an assignment for one of your classes but you were struggling. Asking Chaeyoung to check it out knowing that she would be honest with you and always tell you the truth. A quality you two had that not everyone would agree is completely good was honesty, no matter how frustrating the truth could be. "I can just help you with this because this isn't the best Y/n." Chaeyoung truthfully told you and she was always willing to help you with whatever it was that you needed help with. Whether it would be school work to something more personal. She was always there and never left.

You looked up at her in hope. "Could you?" You asked to make sure since you didn't want to bother her in case she had her own things to work on. Chaeyoung gave you a smile and nodded her head. The blonde looked behind you and suddenly you felt a pair of hands on your shoulders, making you tilt your head back to be met by Jennie who with a tilted head looked down at you."Don't you have math?" You questioned your girlfriend as you knew that she had class right now. She glanced over at Chaeyoung before looking back at you. "It's fine...I already know everything." This made you look over at Chaeyoung who avoided your gaze already knowing that your best friend was the one who informed Jennie about you two being in the library because if she wouldn't know she wouldn't have left class.

"You two need to stop with this skipping classes and practice." You said because not long ago you were walking Chaeyoung back to practice and now Jennie was skipping too. It wasn't the first time and you were always the one walking them back to class. Jennie walked around you and smoothly made herself comfortable in your lap. "You're so cute, trying to act like the oldest one here." Jennie teased and pecked your cheek, Chaeyoung laughing at how you tried to fight the bashful smile that was fighting to appear on your lips. "Is that the assignment you have been working on?" Jennie questioned as she looked at the paper that was laying in front of Chaeyoung. The girl slid it over to Jennie as you hummed. "It's really bad." Chaeyoung commented when Jennie picked it up, the girl in your lap caressing your hand as she was already reading the paper.

Jennie sighed and put the paper down once she was done. "It isn't the best, no." Jennie honestly told you and gave you a sorry look. You rested your forehead against her shoulder. "I know...Chaeyoung will help me with it." You mumbled, the two girls sharing the same quality, honesty and always being willing to help you with anything that you needed. You weren't sure where your head would be without them.

You knew that it would have been over for you if Jennie wouldn't be right here after Chaeyoung passed. You always needed at least one of them and without Chaeyoung here anymore, Jennie was the only person who was holding onto the part of you that had detached from your body. If she wouldn't be here, that part of you would be gone together with you because if Chaeyoung wasn't here you had no reason to stay except for Jennie. She was the only reason why you were still here.

You slowed down in your steps as you watched the green bus pass by you two, feeling the air in your lungs get too thick to leave you. The air clogged up your throat together with those screams as you watched the bus continue its usual route without Chaeyoung aboard it. Time really didn't stop for even a second when someone left this world, everything and everyone just continued on with their lives. There was no stop so you could at least process anything in your head.

Jennie stopped in her tracks together with you, feeling how your grip on her hand tightened just the slightest, seeing how your jaw moved in anxiousness. What was it to you if the world continued to rotate? You didn't have to continue together with it...you could just stay right where you were, couldn't you? You knew the answer to that. "There's really nothing that I can do, can I?" You asked and looked at Jennie, she sighed and shook her head. "No, not really." She confirmed, you take a deep breath almost gasping for air as it was difficult to inhale at this point. You were so desperate for the air to get thinner so it would get easier to breathe again, but that just didn't happen.

"I want to...see her." Jennie's lips parted at your words. "Are you sure?" She asked you to make sure that you wanted this. She knew that you would go at some point, but she didn't want you to force yourself because it was difficult for you to say the least. "I'm sure."

-

Jennie could feel how each of your steps got heavier and more hesitant the closer you two got. The air was even thicker here and it crushed your insides because of how heavy it was. "Do you want me to wait here or come with you?" Jennie asked as you two stopped, your eyes already looking towards Chaeyoung's direction. The girl had already been here a few times when she had time while you hadn't, thinking that maybe you needed to be alone for this. "You will be right here, right?" You asked her to make sure since you were scared of just getting left alone by the only person you had left that was keeping you here. Chaeyoung left you with fear. "Of course...I will sit right here on this bench and won't move an inch." Jennie reassured you, her thumb gently rubbing your knuckles on the hand that wasn't injured.

"Just take your time." She gave your hand a light squeeze before letting go as you nodded, taking those heavy steps towards your best friend's grave. Your feet felt heavier and the soil under your feet felt like quicksand, pulling you down further the closer you got. It had been two months and it looked like people were still regularly coming here as there were fresh flowers and grave candles on her grave.

You came to a stop as you were right in front of the place where your best friend was resting. You hadn't visited Chaeyoung ever since they lowered her into the cold ground. Your hand gripped harder around the flowers you were holding in your hand, your jaw clenching but it all was for nothing as the pain slipped right past your lips. The keen cries left your mouth as you crouched down right in front of her grave, closing your eyes tightly as you kept on wiping away at your eyes. The tears seeped through your closed eyes as you slumped down, sitting on the grass, pulling your knees to your chest, clutching hard onto the roses in your hand as you buried you face in your forearm that was resting on top of your knees.

"Why Chaeyoung? Why?" You cried out with your creaking voice that has had enough of your repeated cries after your best friend. Looking up at her grave stone, your eyes landing on the small picture of her that was on the headstone right by her name. "I've been crying after you every day and night, only to get no reply from you." You said and bit your lower lip to stop your sobs. You knew that you would spend your time here and wait for a reply just like you have been waiting for one every day since she left. Only to not get one. "I am so angry with myself and I wish I would be able to be angry with you and not me, but you know very well that I have never been able to stay angry with you for even a second...You knew that all along." You somehow managed to talk to her, waiting for some sort of relief, but all you felt was sorrow and pain.

"I still dream about you Chaeyoung! You're still alive in my head. Yet here I am talking to your grave." You gritted out through your tears and sobs, feeling like a fool because of what she did. These day-long laments were exhausting and you could feel how you barely were able to continue crying as just whimpers of pain left your mouth. "Did you think that talking to your grave would be enough for me? That you could just leave me because I would get through everything by talking to your grave? That I wouldn't want to hear your voice? It sounds selfish but what else can I be when you left without any reason? You could've at least left me a damn note, Chaeyoung." You moved the flowers to look at them, the cuts on your knuckles covered by the band-aids Jennie had put on them.

You placed them by your feet and sighed. "You made me make all these promises that I now have to keep...Who's going to keep your promises Chaeyoung?" You asked her, wondering who would keep all these promises she made you. You were going to keep yours because you would never be able to break a promise you made. A groan escaped your mouth and you blinked your eyes, the tears falling right after. "You never really meant it when you promised to stay with me forever...You knew that you weren't going to stay for long. You knew and you left me, you left me without a single word about it. Didn't you trust me? Wasn't I enough of a reason to stay?...What made you even so sure that you could just leave, how were you sure that I wouldn't just follow right after you?" You were so tired, it felt like you would throw your heart up any second now.

Were you just supposed to come here every day now and wait for an answer? Was Chaeyoung ever going to answer you? Did she even see you right now? She had left you without a word. You always knew where Chaeyoung was since she always told you and talked to you. Now you couldn't even try and say where she could be as you had no clue because she never told you or talked to you about this. "I just...miss you." It always ended like this, with you wailing, bawling your tired eyes out like a baby to your best friend. "This is the- the longest I have ever been without you ever since we met." You weren't sure how much longer you would be able to be without Chaeyoung. "You should've told me...I would wait for you if you had told me what was wrong. I would be here and wait for you...I am waiting for you." All you could do was wait for something that wouldn't happen now.

"Come on, Y/n, it's only for two days and I will be back." Chaeyoung laughed out and pushed you away when you were about to cling to her again. "No, don't leave me." You begged, probably being too dramatic since the girl was only going away for the weekend to another city to celebrate her cousin's birthday with her family. "You know that I don't want to leave you either, but I believe that we will be able to survive two days without seeing each other- two hard days, but we will manage." Chaeyoung said and chuckled, but it sounded painful as she herself had tears in her eyes now. You let out a whine and hugged her tight, not wanting your best friend to leave for those two days. "I can come with you." You breathed out and she shook her head, rubbing your back.

"We need to start practising being away from each other for at least short periods and you can't leave Jennie." Chaeyoung reminded you about your girlfriend and she also knew that you two should be able to be away from each other for at least two days. It would be difficult since you guys had been glued together ever since you met. "I know, that's why I will take her with us." You mumbled since you and Jennie had the same problem as you and Chaeyoung of not being able to be away from each other. You assumed that once you loved someone you no longer could be separated from them for long. You couldn't be separated from Chaeyoung or Jennie as you loved them both too much for that.

"No Y/n, you're staying right here with Jennie and I will see you in two days." Chaeyoung firmly stated and pulled away looking at you, trying her best to not just give in and take you two with her. "Yes, I will tell her right now...she should be here somewhere." You said, looking around the hallway for Jennie, spotting your girlfriend already walking towards you and Chaeyoung. You waved her over to you two and she skipped in her steps. "Hey you two...Why are you guys in tears?" Jennie asked confused once she reached you two and saw that you both were on the verge of tears. "Doesn't matter why anymore because we are going away with Chaeyoung for the weekend." You stated and Jennie lit up at that looking at the blonde girl with a smile who only groaned in return.

"No, no one is going with me, you two are staying. It's just two days." Chaeyoung said and turned away from you and Jennie, opening her locker to avoid the looks on your faces knowing that she would just give in if she did. "Two days will be like an eternity for you two." Jennie commented and leaned against the locker beside Chaeyoung's to look at the girl, well aware of the fact that you and Chaeyoung would be shaking in longing after each other. Jennie herself hated being away from you so she completely understood it. Once you get so used to someone's presence, you aren't yourself anymore if they leave for a few seconds too long. You hummed agreeing with Jennie as you leaned against the locker behind her, both of you just waiting for the blonde to just agree.

"You- no, stop pestering me about it...You can like distract her by you know." Chaeyoung commented almost giving in before she slammed her locker closed looking at you two like you were parasites. Jennie shyly giggled at that and had to turn away from the blonde, burying her face in your shirt being way too shy to talk about what Chaeyoung was referring to. You rubbed her back and looked at Chaeyoung who shook her head, still doing her best not agreeing. "Please?" You begged with a small pout and Chaeyoung groaned at that.

That day she agreed for you and Jennie to come, knowing damn well that it would be hell on earth for you two if she had just left you even if it was for two days. "What are we going to do without you Chaeyoung? It feels wrong to just keep on living life without you here. You knew damn well what hell it would be for me to be without you." You spoke as you calmed down, wiping away the tears from your cheeks although they were still falling from your eyes. The way life went on even after death was something you couldn't grasp. What made everything so much harder was that you didn't know who to blame for this. You ended up being angry at the world and being angry with yourself.

"I failed you as a best friend...I failed you, didn't I?" You asked and looked at the picture of Chaeyoung on the headstone, looking at her with your tears falling harder as she had a smile on her face like always. It hurt so badly especially when you were sitting here, knowing that you failed your best friend. You failed someone so precious to you. "What if fail everyone else too? What if Jennie leaves me too? What if everyone just ends up leaving me Chaeyoung?" You worriedly asked your best friend, she always had answers for you. You always came to her for advice and help, knowing that she would be honest with you. The frustration you felt inside was indescribable when you got no answer from your best friend.

You were so lost without her. Chaeyoung was stuck in your head like a melody that you just can't forget and never will forget, she was stuck on repeat even in the worst moments making everything so difficult. You couldn't focus on anything else but the melody that Chaeyoung was. Would it even matter if everyone else just left you? You sighed and pulled your knees closer to your chest, hugging them as you buried your face in them. "Was there anything that I could have done differently to make you stay?" You tiredly asked, crying into your knees, your body shaking as you couldn't take the pain anymore. Your heart was clenching, trying to hold on to the pieces that it was getting shredded into. Your chest hurting and your ribs were suddenly constricting your lungs from being able to breathe normally.

"Didn't I tell you enough how beautiful you are? How good you are? How you are the kindest and purest person I have ever met? How your heart isn't made of gold but platinum since gold is fucking shit and gets ruined so easily? Didn't I say how much I love you enough? That you are my Rosie?" You sniffled and pressed your eyes more into your knees to let the material of your jeans soak up the tears. "I am forever going to miss you because I will always love you." You managed to look up again, sobs leaving your mouth one after another as you looked at the place where Chaeyoung was supposedly resting now. Weren't your arms enough for her? Couldn't she just rest in your arms until she would feel better again? You were so homesick without her arms around you and it made you wonder if she felt the same right now, the only time you felt somewhat better was when Jennie would hug you.

You used your sleeves to wipe your face, moving to reach for the flowers that were by your feet. "I bought you these...You always hated when I would buy you flowers, but still would always put them on your desk in your room and they would be there until there was no single petal left on them." You said with a chuckle, sniffling as you kept on wiping the tears away with your sleeve. "I wish I had bought you flowers more often though because I know that you secretly loved it...I might start doing it now, buy you flowers every week and give them to you." You heaved a sigh and moved to get on your feet. You looked at the flowers in your grip and with a deep breath you took a step closer to her, crouching down to put them on top of her gravestone with the rest of the flowers and other things.

"I love you Chaeyoung...I love you a lot. You know that a piece of my heart will forever belong to you, that way you will always have a piece of me. I didn't even have to make the promise to never forget you because whether or not I would make that promise, I would never forget you." You explained, your fingers gently running over the polished stone that was connected to the headstone. "You know...if it gets difficult up there just know that I am still always here for you if you need someone to talk to." You reminded her that even if she wasn't here you would still always be there for her no matter how far away she would be. Your arms were always open for Chaeyoung even when her body was cold and not possible to warm up again like you always did.

"I'm sorry for not coming sooner, I just couldn't bring myself to do so. I'm so sorry for leaving you alone for so long...I promise that it won't happen again." You said and with a shaky breath pressed your thumb against the stone to seal the promise like you two always did, your tears falling and hitting the stone, splattering like raindrops that hit the ground. Although your tears had more meaning to them than the rain did. "I love you Rosie...I will be back soon so you won't feel alone." You stood up straight and looked over her grave one last time with a heavy heart. It felt difficult to leave her although you knew that nothing would happen if you left her now, always thinking about how if you hadn't left that day then nothing of this would have happened. A piece of you was in that ground with your best friend.

The cemetery was so quiet and peaceful even if people came here to sorrow, to try and bury their grief together with their lost loved ones. Because of that Jennie was in tears, hearing you talk to your best friend the whole time, your voice reaching her and she hoped that it reached Chaeyoung too. She was quick to stand up and wipe her tears when you approached her. You rubbed at your eyes as you stopped in front of her, feeling like a vulnerable mess, ignoring the pain in your right hand that was bruised. Jennie grabbed your balled-up fists and looked you in your red and tear-filled eyes.

"You're so strong. I adore you so much, Y/n...I adore the person you are." Jennie confessed her adoration for you, being the person she adored the most and somehow amidst all your sorrow you felt your heart flutter. Your hand went up to her cheeks cupping them. "Thank you for being here for me...I don't think I would be able to get this far without you Jennie. I really don't think I would be able to." You confessed as you were deeply thankful for having Jennie. She hugged your waist and rested her cheek against your torso as you hugged around her shoulders.

You were going to continue keeping Jennie warm even if you no longer were able to keep Chaeyoung warm. You weren't going to give up on Jennie, she was the only light left in your life at the moment, the only thing keeping you away from getting fully swallowed by all the darkness. She was the only one keeping you warm right now, she was the little fire that you wouldn't let burn out just like she was making sure that the little flame left in you wouldn't fully die out.

-

You were here for Jennie, you weren't sure if you would be sitting here at these bleachers if it wouldn't be for your girlfriend being part of the cheer team as the contest was taking place today. Two months ago you talked about this day with Chaeyoung and now you were sitting at the bleachers empty-handed together with your friends as your school's cheer team would be out soon. The cheer team were doing this to honour your best friend, but it was still difficult to sit here and watch. You knew how difficult it was for the girls on the team and the few guys that were on it too, they were for the first time in four years going to perform without their captain. Jennie had assured you that she was fine and to not worry about her, but you knew that she was hanging on by a thread today. That's why you were here. She would need you today just as much as you had needed her every day for the past two months.

You could feel how your heart started to beat in a heavier way, like when a steam train passes right by you and you can feel it below your feet. Hearing your heartbeat in your ears together with the familiar song. It was the song that Chaeyoung used for this contest exactly four years ago when she became the captain; it was their way to honour her, but you could only think of how you were here to support your best friend on her first big cheer contest as the captain of the team. All your memories were so vivid and you always broke inside at them. Hearing her name was enough to make you fall to pieces all over again.

"You got this in the bag Chaeyoung!" You exclaimed, trying to ease her worries slightly as she was nervous, this was her first big contest as the captain. It was a team sport, but still, a captain was still a captain and everyone was expecting her to shine. Plus the fact that she was 14 with a big audience like that made it just that much more nerve-wracking. "Do you think so?" She nervously asked as you two stood away from the team so you could have some privacy. She didn't want the rest to know how nervous she was, she only trusted you with this. "I've seen you guys practice and it was always great...I will treat you to nuggets if you guys win." You happily said and that seemed to make the girl get into her spirit, knowing that if nuggets were at stake then there was no way that she would allow anything to go wrong.

"Promise?" Chaeyoung said and held out her pinkie to you. With a smile, you hooked your pinkie with hers. "I promise and a milkshake." You promised, as you guys touched thumbs, she let out a small squeal and quickly hugged you, making you hug back. Something about having a friend that you were this close with made everything so weirdly nice. There was some sort of peace coursing through your smaller bodies and making everything else disappear. No nervousness, no fear, nothing like that was present and it felt like you were floating. "And I promise to do my best, especially as a captain." Chaeyoung exclaimed and you nodded. "You always do your best...but you should probably tell that to them." You said and gestured with your head towards her squad that looked like they were about to pass out.

They won that day and they did it three years in a row with Chaeyoung leading them, this would be her fourth regional contest and you bought her those nuggets and milkshake, it became a tradition. You took her to the small place after every contest that they won to eat nuggets.

The crowd erupted into cheers, making your ears ring as they finished. Your friends were on their feet, cheering for your school and Jennie did really great with the team. Getting on your feet, your eyes landed on Jennie, being able to see how her lower lip quivered and the tears cascaded down her cheeks, standing in Chaeyoung's spot as they were in the finishing pose; she was the girl's right hand, it was only right for her to be standing there. As they all were slowly starting to gather to get off the stage you made it through the crowd of people on the bleachers when Jennie quickly ran off the stage. Walking as fast as possible you reached the cheer squad, asking them where Jennie was; everyone on the team was comforting each other, their tears brimming their eyes and it was visible that this wasn't easy for them. They pointed towards their designated changing room as it wasn't taking place at your school and you took off towards it.

Everyone had moved on as you watched the students of your school applaud and cheer. The only ones that were still not fully over it were her friends that only tried to somewhat cheer for the team that didn't have its captain with it. Why wouldn't they have moved on? They didn't know Chaeyoung, she was just someone they passed in the hallways, she wasn't part of their lives while she was a big part of your guys' lives.

You knocked on the door and only got a sob in return so you opened the door, walking inside you closed the door after you and saw Jennie sitting with her face buried in her knees on one of the benches, her body shaking slightly as she continued to cry. God did you hate seeing her like that, you couldn't hold yourself together because whenever she would cry you would end up crying too, but you knew that you had to be strong just this once. She needed you. "Jennie...baby." You let out and the small whimper that came from her cracked another spot in your heart and you weren't sure how much more your heart would be able to take. Sitting down beside her, you wrapped an arm around her, making Jennie look up from her knees and seek comfort in your arms instead as she gripped onto your hoodie, wrapping both your arms around her body as she let you pull her into your lap.

"It's...all just now..." Jennie tried to explain through her sobs, but just ended up swallowing all her words, choking on them, and not being able to continue. She curled up into you more as she sat sideways in your lap, her knees pulled up against you. "It's sinking in now...I thought that I was ok now, but being out there without- without Chaeyoung...it just made it so hard to breathe, Y/n." Jennie cried into the crook of your neck and you felt your eyes water at her words, the mention of her name, it was all so much. "I could feel- I could feel that something was missing the whole time...and realized that it was Chaeyoung." Another whimper came from Jennie and she pulled more on your hoodie, burying her face in the material.

You both knew that the feeling of something, more like someone always missing would always be there now, but you two were never prepared for it to be that obvious. It was like losing a necessity and looking for it. Chaeyoung was someone important in your lives, it didn't matter if you knew her for 13 years or 3 like Jennie. The girl was such a big part of your lives and she suddenly wasn't here, meaning that a big part of your lives, a big part of you was just suddenly missing, simply gone and never coming back. "I feel like I disappointed her and the squad out there...there's no way that I will ever be able to lead anyone to victory, let alone lead as Chaeyoung did, Y/n." You could hear how vulnerable and insecure she felt right now, together with the pain and you could hear yourself in it all. Wondering how Jennie managed to comfort you so well at times like these.

"You have never managed to disappoint her Jennie, or the team...Chaeyoung- she-." You cursed yourself in your head as your voice cracked and you were starting to break down too. Feeling how your nose was prickling, making your tears fill your eyes in an instant because of it. "You're so strong for being able to go out there and lead the team for Chaeyoung, in her honour...She would only be proud of you, especially for being so strong." You spoke against her hair as you nuzzled your face in it, trying your best to make Jennie understand that Chaeyoung would never be disappointed in her. Your best friend always looked up to Jennie for how strong she was and she proved every day how much stronger she was than what you saw.

"She looked up to you, she saw you as a sister...someone who was always there for her and she could trust...she loved you so much that there would never be any room for disappointment, baby." You reassured her, rubbing her back gently when she got hiccups. "You weren't only her right hand on the squad, but outside of it too...she knew that you would make a great captain- that's why she chose you for that position." You pulled your face away from her and Jennie looked up from your hoodie, meeting your eyes. Her eyes filled with tears that ran down her flushed cheeks, her eyes were red and her lower lip started quivering again, the hiccups making it difficult for her to catch her breath.

You moved your one hand up to her face, using it to collect her tears, ignoring the trembling in your fingers as you looked at her. "You're so beautiful and talented...she loves you, they love you, I love you." You let out, caressing her cheek with your thumb, a lump in your throat as you felt a few tears managed to escape your eyes, but your beautiful girlfriend was quick to wipe them for you. You leaned forward and placed your lips on her forehead, leaving a lingering peck as she calmed down with every heartbeat that was slamming against her ribcage from all the emotions that were going through her mind and body. Jennie closed her eyes at your lips against her skin before she felt you rest your forehead against hers, her hand coming around your nape as she scratched gently. "I love you so much Y/n." Jennie let out a whisper and connected her lips with yours.

You were on your way to Chaeyoung's practice as usual after being done with yours, pushing the double doors open that led to the field. Your eyes landed on the cheer squad that was busy with practice- including Chaeyoung who hadn't ran away this time- so you made it to the bleachers where a few others were sitting, joining your friends. Your eyes just scanned everyone for a second, but stopped on the new face that was a part of the practice, realizing that it was the new girl that changed to this school two weeks ago. Although your gaze switched away from her and you looked to your side when you got nudged. "Who is that? I haven't seen her before on the team." Your friend Namjoon asked as he was waiting for one of his other friends that were part of the cheer team too, being a year older, 16 and you 15- a year above you- he didn't know that there was a new girl in the class below his.

"Uhm she's new in class, she started two weeks ago and I guess she got on the team." The guy hummed and nodded, you saw as he fought back a smile and you knew that he was onto you already since your voice never held a quiver when you would talk, but now it did when you talked about the new girl. You somehow managed to find yourself crushing on the girl and you haven't even told Chaeyoung yet- you were going to, but you assumed that she already figured it out because you were always so obvious and she knew you so well. "What's her name?" He asked instead and you glanced over at the field to see them slowly finishing up. "Jennie." Namjoon patted your back and stood up, giving you a wink. "Well, good luck." He said and your lips parted at that, but you didn't get to say anything as he walked down the bleachers, greeting his friend as the practice was over.

If he figured it out within a few minutes then Chaeyoung knew already for sure. You stood up from your spot and saw Chaeyoung already walking towards you. "You did great...well, from the few minutes that I saw you were great." You said and the blonde smiled big. "Great to know that I am good at stretching, Y/n." Chaeyoung said with a giggle since she saw when you came out on the field, which was when they were finishing up and stretching their limbs. You chuckled and shrugged, your eyes momentarily falling behind Chaeyoung to see the new girl- Jennie- packing up her bag while talking to a few girls. Even if your gaze moved away for a split second, Chaeyoung caught it and looked where you had looked before looking back at you.

"I think you have something to tell me...something along the lines of having a crush on the new girl." She teased you and you opened your mouth to say something but puffed out your cheeks instead before releasing your breath. You gave her a bashful nod. "Are you two friends?" You questioned and your hands found their way into your pockets so you wouldn't start fiddling with them as you tended to do that when you were nervous, fiddling with whatever came in reach like your clothes or bracelets or anything else. "Yeah, we're quite close actually...Want me to ask her if she wants to hang out with us today?" Chaeyoung suggested and saw the hope in your eyes as you looked up at her. "Could you? I'd like to get to know her but there's just no way that I will get the guts to ask her myself." You smiled when she gave you a nod before she pulled you with her towards Jennie.

Thanks to Chaeyoung you have an amazing and loving girlfriend. You've known her for three years now and been in a relationship for two, but it felt like you have known each other for so much longer. You were grateful about this every day, and you were so thankful for Chaeyoung, knowing that without her you would never be where you are right now, with Jennie who you loved and adored. Chaeyoung had given you so much and assured so that you were happy and you felt like you had failed her, not sure if you had managed to give her back enough.

It felt like the wind got knocked out of you like you were hit by a bullet train when you stepped inside Chaeyoung's room. It was cold. Why would it be warm if there was no one there to keep it warm? Her smell still lingered in the air and you clenched your jaw to stop your tears, you really didn't have the energy to cry more. You didn't want to cry much more, you came here for some sort of peace and acceptance, not to cry, but it was easier said than done. You weren't sure where to look for your peace in her room, you weren't sure if there was much peace in this room where her sister found her dead. You weren't even sure if peace with this was possible because all your life Chaeyoung was part of that peace.

Deciding to fight the force that was trying to pull you back so you wouldn't enter further, you stepped further into your best friend's room. Everything was left the same as when they found her. Her family couldn't bring themselves to move a single thing. Your breathing got heavy and everything felt so gloomy, it felt like there was a storm inside of you with dark clouds and heavy rain, the wind that blew so hard in your face that you couldn't breathe properly. You stopped by her desk, her things had started to collect dust and your fingers ran across the white wooden desk, picking up some of the dust on the way before stopping by the framed picture. You picked it up and looked down at it. It was a more recent one with you, Chaeyoung, Jennie, Lisa, Jungkook and Namjoon. The dust on the glass got wet and you quickly wiped your eyes as your tears came without a warning.

"See, I told you that this was a terrible idea." Namjoon complained and you scratched the back of your neck as you looked around the place. "Stop yelling at my baby." You stopped scratching your nape and wrapped your arm around Jennie's waist when she walked up to you. You gave Namjoon a smug look, having your girlfriend on your side. The guys tsk'd and looked around, hopelessness in his eyes. "Your so-called baby got us lost in the middle of the woods." He pointed out and you two looked back at the groaning behind the taller guy to see Jungkook who had tripped over a root that was sticking out of the ground. "You idiot." Namjoon let out and held out his hand for the guy that was on the grass. "You owe me a new pair of jeans, Y/n." Jungkook said and dusted off his pants, seeing a small green stain on his left knee.

"I don't owe you shit, you tripped yourself." You defended and he huffed at that. "And to be fair, I just wanted to be nice and show Lisa the waterfall." You continued and sighed, looking around and realising that Lisa wasn't in sight and neither was Chaeyoung. You came up with the idea of taking everyone to the waterfall that you had once discovered but you must have forgotten the way to it because you did not find it and ended up walking in the middle of the woods. The three caught up to what you were looking for and realised too that the two were missing. "Well...You lost the person you wanted to show this to." Jungkook deadpanned since you wanted to especially show this to Lisa as she was an exchange student and wasn't going to be able to see this any other time.

Suddenly you saw the blonde hair you knew so well behind a pair of bushes before her voice echoed through the whole forest, the birds that were nearby scattering to find a new and quiet place. "Hey! We found the waterfall!" Chaeyoung called out and you saw her wave you guys over as she jumped so you guys could see her more clearly from behind the bushes. "You tried." Jennie comforted and patted your back before taking your hand and dragging you to walk with the other two. "I was actually just about to take that turn and-." You got cut off by Namjoon who smacked your head when you were trying to lie your way out of it, the rest of your sentence just getting swallowed back down. "Quiet, Y/n...I rather listen to nature." He said and you rolled your eyes at that.

You smiled as the four of you made it to the other side of the bushes to see the waterfall you had been talking about. "It's really beautiful." Chaeyoung said and Lisa beside her hummed, you sent Chaeyoung a knowing look when you saw the two brushing their fingers against each other, knowing that they were tingling to hold hands with each other but were too nervous to do it. You and Jennie were the same at first. "Yeah...I need some memories of this place." Lisa happily said and showed her camera that she had hanging around her neck. "Here's a great rock Lisa...Just saying if you want a group photo." Jungkook subtly pointed with his head at the rock that would work as a tripod of a sort.

You placed back the framed picture of you guys by the waterfall. You had so many memories with Chaeyoung, but you weren't sure if they were enough. Taking in a shaky breath, you blinked away your tears and looked towards one of the walls she had in her room. Making your way to it as it hurt to walk around her room. It was as if there was poison in the air that occupied her room and you were breathing it in and slowly dying. You looked at all the polaroids on the wall, all those memories you wondered if she took with her to her grave. It all made you realise that time was the most expensive luxury in the world.

You could point at any of the photos and tell exactly what happened on that day, you remembered every day with Chaeyoung and you were so scared that you would forget them now that she wasn't here. They ranged from when you two were five to 18, then there weren't only pictures of you and her, but others too as she always cherished all her friends and family. Although your eyes had to do a double check when you looked at the folded piece of paper that was pinned to the wall in the middle of all the polaroids, your name was written on it and you frowned. Sniffling, you reached for it as it just didn't make sense for it to be there with all those polaroids. You removed the pin and pinned it back into the wall after taking the piece of paper.

The piece of paper looked like it had been ripped out of a lined journal as you unfolded it, letting your eyes scan over it. You stopped, realizing what it was and the air felt even thicker and more poisonous now. Clutching the piece of paper in your hand you turned around and walked over to Chaeyoung's bed. The lump in your throat was getting painful as you sat down in her bed and leaned against the headboard. It felt so weird to be sitting in it and you reached for the plushie, putting it in your lap as you hugged it and rested your chin on top of it. You closed your eyes, the paper still in your hand as you inhaled the smell of Chaeyoung that lingered on the plushie that you gave her when you two were seven and she had kept it all this time. Knowing that you had to face reality you looked up, your tears already staining the plushie as you with your trembling hands unfolded the paper again. Reading what it said as it wasn't just a piece of paper but a note.

I hope it didn't take you too long to get a hold of this letter that I left for you Y/n.

I first want to say that; I really hope that I don't have to be sorry or apologise for my choice. I hope no one is angry with me and if anyone is, I hope they won't stay angry for too long. I hate when people are upset or angry, smiles always suited everyone much better than scowls. Y/n, your smile always made me smile so I hope that you won't cry for too long because I rather look down at you and see you smile than be sad.

I was thinking about this for over three years now, I just couldn't leave you Y/n, not until I would help you find someone who would be able to be there for you like I always was. Finally that someone came into your life, that's why I want you to cherish Jennie the way I cherished you and you cherished me because I know that she will be able to be there for you through your whole life since I won't be able to be there for you in person anymore. My presence will always be with you though even if it's not in person, I will always be watching over you to make sure that you stay on the right path without me right by your side. I think you will be able to realise that you have found a best friend in Jennie too and not just your lover. I know that you have because I saw it with my own eyes. You two are each other's halves now.

I know that I promised to stay forever. I am going to keep that promise and stay forever by your side even if it's not in person.

I know that it's always possible to feel better but I don't want to feel better when I know that any second I can just fall back down to the bottom where I was a second ago. I also doubt that it is possible to go back to my old self and if I lost my old self, then I don't wanna keep going. It's the old me that everyone loves, it's the old me that I loved and I just can't seem to accept or love the person I am now.

I can't see myself doing all those things that are meant to be done when you grow up. College, work, relationships, starting a family or anything along those lines. And even if I can do them, I don't want to do them, not like this.

I haven't been feeling too well for the past three years. I could have told you, but I just couldn't bring myself to do so. I didn't want you to sit and worry about me every night because I know that you would do just that. I knew that there was no going back for me Y/n and even if there would be, nothing would feel the same anymore. Please don't blame yourself for anything and don't think that you did something wrong. You kept me going for these three years and I didn't think I would be able to stay that long but I did, but there's only so far a torn car can go.

I can only apologise for not having a good explanation for why I did what I did. I know it sounds complicated, but it really isn't Y/n, and we have always been honest with each other and I will be honest with you in this letter.

My will to not want to live is so strong that it's hard to find words to describe it. But I shouldn't have to explain why I want to die so badly because it's simple, I just want to die. I can't apologise for that, Y/n and I am really hoping you will understand.

That day, you gave me everything I needed for the last time before I would leave.

You gave me my last laugh. My last smile. My last cry. My last memories. My last hug. My last words. My last 'I love you'. My last promise.

You gave me all those things that I wanted to experience with you one last time in one day. You are the best person I have ever been with, ever met. There was never anyone that could have replaced you, done anything better than you or treated me better than you. Nothing you did could have been done better. I love you Y/n and always did, but unfortunately, even you aren't making it hard for me to leave this time. I wish it wasn't like that, but I have lost myself a long time ago, I don't know who I am anymore or maybe this is who I am, but I just can't accept the person I am now. You always loved me for who I was, I just wished that I would be able to love myself the same way too.

This is no one else's fault but mine. Don't blame yourself or anyone else, Y/n/n.

Aside from those hard times, I went through, amidst all that and before it, you always created great memories with me. I cherish all the things we did together and I hope you will cherish them for us for the rest of your life.

Please, don't stare at the sunsets for too long to find me because I am right by your side whether you feel it or not. I am right there by your side, holding your hand through it all like always. Please, keep all the promises we made, especially the last two we made that day and never forget me. I hope you can let me keep on living through you, through your memories of me, that way I will never die. Some people do live forever, they live on through you and won't die, you decide when they die by either remembering them or forgetting them. I hope you won't let me die fully.

I promise to be safe wherever I end up and put in a good word for you to God if it is heaven. Stay safe for me Y/n, keep Jennie safe and the ones close to you too. Love everyone unconditionally just like you loved me. Keep on living your life and don't hold back because time won't stop. Take my advice one last time, I can see that Jennie is the one, pursue a future with her because I know that you two will keep each other happy.

I love you Y/n, you're the bestest friend anyone could ever ask for. You're special to me and always will be. Thank you for making me happy when I thought I couldn't be and thank you for giving me so many great memories.

From: Chaeyoung, your Rosie.

You clutched onto the paper in your hands and buried your face into the plushie, crying in pain and nothing else. This was what you needed in the end, this is what made you realise the truth, that your best friend was no longer here. You never failed her. She loved you all this time, but there was nothing anyone could do to change the outcome of things.

-

"I came just like I promised you Chaeyoung." You stated as you made yourself comfortable on the grass in front of Chaeyoung's grave. This time you weren't clutching the flowers in your hand, but you placed them in front of your feet. "I bought you flowers again, just like I said that I would..." You trailed off and bit your lower lip, smiling as you looked at the picture of her by her name. The girl smiling back at you and it felt all warm and fuzzy this time. "I found your letter to me last week and I just want to thank you for always being there for me." You spoke and fiddled with the grass you sat on. You let out a sigh and closed your eyes, letting the sun warm you up as it was slowly setting, but it was still keeping the cold from getting you.

Opening your eyes again you looked past her grave and at the sky, watching the sunset with a little chuckle. "I know that you told me not to look for you in the sunsets, but I just can't help myself at times...It just feels like I might see you in them." You explained as you still would catch yourself gazing at the sunsets whenever you would see one. It felt like Chaeyoung was right there then and you always looked so the moment would last a bit longer. "You aren't here anymore, but I am grateful that you were here for the time that you were...I'm just happy that I met you even if I wish that we could have spent more years together...I will learn to fully accept it as it is, for you and everyone else, Chaeyoung." You said and pulled on the grass straws, taking in a deep breath, you could smell the grass and flowers around you this time, even the sunset had a smell to it, and you could smell the warmth that it created.

Taking another deep breath, this time you could feel your lungs expand as the air reached you and wasn't heavy at all. It was all so light and fresh, it felt nice to be able to breathe again. It was as if someone was holding you back the whole time from all these things until you would learn to accept everything. Maybe it was Chaeyoung since she hated whenever you would be crying all miserable. "I want to assure you that I am going to keep all the promises we made, the last two ones we made that day too and I will never forget you...I will let you to continue live through my memories." You assured her. You were no longer waiting for answers from her because everything was already answered for you. You could let Chaeyoung get the peace she wanted, she could finally rest as you let her do so.

"I thought that you would want to know that no one is angry about your choice and you don't have to be sorry about what you did. I was never angry with you, but myself although after reading your letter, you assured me that I didn't have to." You leaned forward and placed your hand over the gravestone, running your fingers over the polished stone with a small smile. Removing a few small leaves that were resting on it and whatnot. Living life was much easier now that there weren't as many why's in it. Not only could Chaeyoung have her peace now and rest, but so could you.

"You know the plushie I bought you when we were seven, yeah...I kind of took it with me and I hope you don't mind although Jennie keeps on stealing it in the middle of the night in her sleep...She then wakes up and says that she thought that it was me that she was hugging." You said with a grin and looked again at the picture, meeting her eyes that were even glimmering in the picture. The sunset kept warming you up and it was just how Chaeyoung's hugs felt. You were about to say more when you felt something furry nuzzle into your arm that was resting behind you as you leaned back, holding yourself up with your arms. Looking at whatever it was that was rubbing against you to see a small tuxedo kitten. You moved your hand and picked it up, the kitten letting you do just that and you placed it in your lap.

"What're you doing here?" You questioned and looked to see that it didn't have a collar, inspecting quickly to see it was a girl. She purred and you placed her back down in your lap, petting the kitten as you looked at her. "You're so cute." You cooed and pouted at the tiny kitten as she was so cuddly, reminding you of Chaeyoung who always clung to you for hugs and cuddles. The feline made herself comfortable in your lap as she lay down with you scratching her head. "I'm gonna keep on coming every week to visit you and talk...I really don't want you to feel like you are alone." You spoke to Chaeyoung after looking up from the kitten. There was just one thing that would never sit right with you even if you moved on and kept on living your life. There would always be one thing that would always bug you. That there would always be a presence missing no matter how much time would pass.

"I still think that it's ok to miss you even if I am supposed to move on with life." You stated as a matter of fact, there was no way that you would ever just not miss her. You moved the kitten out of your lap, placed it beside you and grabbed the flowers. "Oh come on." You complained when the feline attacked them, pulling off a few petals so you pushed her away as she didn't seem too fond of flowers. Getting on your feet, you ignored how your shoelaces were being tugged at and your shoes probably getting ruined by the claws and you put the flowers on the gravestone. "You're the bestest friend I could have ever asked for Chaeyoung, I love you." You said and felt how your eyes got a little warmer, closing them to compose yourself and stop yourself from shedding tears. "Be safe and I will be too." You let out a shaky breath and smiled at her one last time.

-

"Jennie, I swear she followed me all the way from the cemetery." You defended as you held the kitten in your arms, standing right by Jennie's door after entering her room to get a bunch of questions thrown your way about why you had a cat with you. You used your finger and rubbed her nose, her paws gripping onto your finger as she licked it. "So you just...brought her inside with you?" Jennie asked confused as she looked at you holding the kitten, you hummed and shrugged your shoulders. "It's the cat distribution system...I think Chaeyoung reincarnated as a cat. Let's name her Rosé." You said and walked past Jennie who looked a bit baffled as you had inadvertently adopted a kitten just now, well, it was more like the kitten adopted you as she chose you. You were suddenly convinced that this was your best friend reincarnated as a cat because they were quite similar in behaviour.

Jennie got on the bed and crawled over to you as you sat with the kitten in your lap. "You really think that it's her?" Jennie questioned, curious and joined in on petting the feline that was purring, enjoying the moment very much. None of you ever crossed over the possibility of reincarnation and that it's real. Somehow it felt light to think that this could as well be her, it was comforting even if it didn't necessarily have to be true. You would like to believe that it is true. "I'd like to think that it is." You mumbled and Jennie's hand came down to yours, grabbing it as she caressed it with her thumb. "Then it definitely is...I don't think you would mistake your best friend." You chuckled at her words and she could feel how her whole body warmed up as you were finally smiling again without any tears in your eyes or pain in your voice. She could hear and see that you had come to terms with things and found peace.

You looked up at Jennie when she cupped your face and you both leaned in, connecting your lips for a sweet kiss that was no longer filled with salty tears. "I love you." You spoke against her lips and she hummed. "I love you." She said and attached her lips back to yours, but it didn't last long when you pulled away and hissed in slight pain when you felt claws dig into your thigh. Jennie laughed and you pulled Rosé away from you, holding her up as you gave her a look. "I think we should establish some rules here when it comes to the bedroom and Rosé...Cause I don't think any of us, including her, will be comfortable if she's in here when she shouldn't." Jennie stated and you hummed in agreement, a big smile on your face.

You were going to keep each promise and let Chaeyoung continue living through your memory, never forgetting her and always loving her. She was always going to be your best friend and a part of your life. Nothing would ever be the same, but nothing does ever stay the same in the end, whether she would be here or not.

#fanfic #jennie x reader #jennie x g!p reader #rosé x reader #blackpink x reader #park chaeyoung x reader #rosé x g!p reader #angst #fluff #chaeyoung x reader #chaeyoung x g!p reader #rosé angst #blackpink angst #blackpink fanfic #rosé fluff #rosé fanfic

[roses-prose]

Your Love Isn't Gone

park chaeyoung x reader

word count: 1005

a/n: inspired by an ao3 fic i read a long time ago

You're not sure what made you believe this was a good idea, meeting up with your ex and coming over to her apartment alone. But here you were now sitting the opposite of her, catching all the small things you remember about her.

Roseanne park. The woman who had it all and at the same time, feeling like she had nothing at all. Her fingers dragged across the edges of the pages in her tiny journal, the one she always brings around to jot her ideas down, as she always loved the way the pages felt against her fingertips. She sets the journal down, her lips meeting the probably now very cold rim of her cup to take a quick sip of coffee.

"Hi Roseanne."

Her face seems almost shocked as she puts her cup down, her pink lipstick marking the edge of it, "I haven't heard you call me that in a long time."

"Well", you continue to avoid her gaze, eyes scanning through her apartment, "We haven't spoken together in a long time anyways."

Sitting in front of her now, you hate to admit it but your heart still feels that spark of affection you've felt all those months ago. Neither of you speak up as you pour yourself a glass of water, the quiet jazz of the speakers in the corner of her room not enough to drown out the silence.

It was common for you to be left alone, sitting in the silence but for her, maybe not so much. She hated it. She hated how it made her feel. Maybe that's why she was away so often.

She lets out a small sigh, her face riddled with the look of disappointment, either because of you or herself, you don't know. "I'm sorry."

Your brows knit together, "For what?"

Her hands start trying to talk for her, the words not seeming to be able to come out of her mouth, "For... you know."

And this was where she, the global superstar, seemed to fall short. The way she can't seem to tell you what's on her mind. The way she can't express herself. "I don't know."

She lets out a small chuckle, trying to lighten the mood as her fingers fiddled together under the table, "You're really not making this easy for me."

Your lips turn into a wry smile as you poke at your food that she prepared for you, not really wanting to eat a single bite despite it all looking honestly delicious. "I'm not sure what you mean, Roseanne."

Her face visibly seems hurt at the name that escapes your mouth, "Please, can you... not call me that?" Her voice almost seems to crack at the end her question, her eyes softening as she lets out another dreadful sigh, "I know... I fucked up. Badly."

Invisible strings seemed to pull at your heart, your strong façade seeming to break away as you mulled over her words. She never admitted her mistakes. She'd always cover them up with kisses and lies.

"I'm not asking you to forgive me nor am I asking you to even let me back into your life but... I want you to know that I am sorry." Her tone is soft. And for the first time here, you see her smile, albeit wryly. The silence envelops the two of you again as you took a sip of your drink, her eyeing you from across the table.

The silence never was comfortable per se between the two of you, but it was always there whether you liked it or not. "... Do you remember our first date?"

She seems to be caught off guard by the question, before she laughs softly into her hand, "I do. When you fell on your face, right?"

You smile gently, "then you fell right behind me so I quote on quote, "Wouldn't feel embarrassed doing it alone"."

"I'd still do it now, you know." she remarks, the awkward and stiff tension in the air seeming to disappear slowly between the two of you. She points at the bridge of her nose as you laugh, "If you look closely enough, I still have the scar. All the staff members were so mad at me that day."

You two begin to reminisce about all the fun memories you two had together from that time she baked madeleines and accidently used salt instead of sugar leaving you thirsty and disgusted, to that time she came over to your house at 2 in the morning to celebrate your birthday early with a song she made, or to that time you thought you misplaced your favorite hoodie but in reality she was wearing it the entire day.

It's the thought of the quick kisses you two shared in the morning before she went to work, the days you two decide to sleep in and call in sick, and the stupid things you two did together that makes you realize it slowly but surely.

You missed her. You missed the fun you two had despite everything that's happened and you see the way she remembers it all, the memories seeming to spark something inside of her. You set your glass aside again, the sight of her feeling so happy and carefree making you smile.

"... I do forgive you." The words don't come easy to you as your emotions begins to clog up your throat, the words coming out so abruptly, that even you weren't expecting it.

You see her eyes light up as she stares at you in surprise, her lips almost beginning to twitch into a small smile at the name you call her. "It's hard to hate you... Rosie."

"So does that mean... will I see you again?" The question is abrupt as your own words, almost interrupting all train of thought as her tone is hopeful and ambitious.

You smile gently, "I still have the same number." And that's all she really needed to hear to know you weren't gone for good.

#roses prose #r writes #rosé x reader #park chaeyoung x reader #chaeyoung x reader #kpop imagines #blackpink imagines #blackpink x reader #rosé x yn #rosé scenarios #rosé blackpink #rosé imagines #rosé fluff #blackpink fluff #rosé angst #blackpink angst #park chaeyoung angst #chaeyoung fluff #chaeyoung angst

[jinlias]

tally - rosé

— songwriter!, musician! rosé, paparazzi

i say fuck it when i feel it, cuz no one’s keeping tally i do what i want with who i like

rosé was exhausted, she hates this cycle. of sneaking around and hiding under dark clothes when you’re in public, of hiding her lockscreen and the polaroid on her phone case from appearing on photos or videos, she hated being unable to talk about you to everyone, she hated all of this, loathed it.

but she always kept you around, even if you had to ride with crew most of the time, for when she was away from you too long she would start to hear her own heartbeat more than she’d like. you were peace to her. rosé was exhausted, but mostly, she was furious.

and i ain’t gon conceal it, while you talking all that shit, i’ll be getting mine

it was a thing of time, that everyone started noticing the same feminine silhouette around her even when none of her crew was. fans kept up with her management team, everyone even knew her re-ocurring friend group, they just couldn’t pinpoint where u fell, yet, you were always there.

don’t apologize for my behavior, if you’re offended i don’t care.

she never fit in the usual korean mold, the delicate, educated and always quiet women she shared the industry with because they valued their dream career more than their own freedom. controversy is what made her stand out, it’s how she blew up, it’s expected no one was too surprised when she started a soft launch of your relationship. pictures of the two bowls of food, tangled hands, two shadows on a crosswalk, small, private, intimate photos like these easily gave away it was not just one of her friends.

sometimes i like to go play dirty, just like all of the fuckboys do, that’s my choice and there’s no one i’m hurting, when that’s not girly.

but rosé has always been open about her private life, she’s never hid behind dark clothes or hats, at least not until you. she was a weekly topic on social media, everyone took out the time to discuss her possible hook ups, like that was of important matter to anyone else.

that’s why everyone else was so observant now, because all of the sudden she stopped running out of models’ apartments at three am with tousled hair. instead, she was seen hiding behind her clothes and around a becoming familiar silhouette at restaurants, movie theaters, parks, at houses and parties of families who no one’s ever seen before, which was the ideal, but people would just not stop watching her. and you.

everybody tells me to play nice, everybody judge but looking twice, but my body don’t belong to none of them though, and i’m not going to change cuz you say so.

she was tired of playing nice, of laughing it off when men asked her about her love life, when the woman interviewer asked about any special boys in her life. she was tired of everyone assuming and deciding which one of her friends she was dating today. why couldn’t they see she loved you? why couldn’t they just move on? she wasn’t theirs to play around with, she just wanted to do what she loved, surrounded by people she loved. surrounded by you.

warned me to make the rules, or play the fool, it ain't that hard to choose

“rosie, this could make or break your career” you really wish it wasn’t this hard, you wish you could just love each other and live contently. without anyone else interfering.

“i don’t give a fuck anymore. i need you to do the same” she’s cried, she’s given up. but she’s angry, she wants this over. she wants you two to be free. “will you walk the red carpet with me? please” she asks again, begs, her eyes are telling you all of the above. how she can’t take this anymore, if she has to pretend she doesn’t know you for one more night, she might just explode.

rosé can’t ever explain to you the amount of bliss she felt when you agreed, she had been given an ultimatum since the beginning, play the fool or break the rules. play the fool because it could save her career, break the rules because it could save her. she’s finally brave enough to choose for you. and she chooses to be immensely happy, publicly

i say fuck it when i feel it. cuz no one’s keeping tally i do what i want with who i like.

that night, hell broke loose. so did the internet, the photo of her kissing you at the red carpet had millions of fans publicly giving up on her, but so many more expressing their gratitude and pride for her. regardless she couldn’t care less about the numbers, the money, all she cared about was you, her, your future together, and how it was finally possible.

#AHHH I MISSED MY SONG FICS SM❤️‍🩹 #and i love this song. #i haven’t ever gotten over this album and its been what six months? #also coachella has me in my bp feels #rosé imagines #rosé fluff #rosé angst #rosé x yn #rosé x reader #rosé imagine #rosé blurb #rose x reader #song fic #rsj

[multiphandomunnies]

Rose

mistakes

cold and distant

rose college au

hauntophobia

mafia au

survived

19-4045 lapis blue

rose

gf! rose

love for you

spring day

warm wind

kissing rose

soulmate au

kill this love intro

#blackpink #kpop #kpop imagines #kpop scenarios #kpop fluff #kpop reacts #kpop reactions #kpop angst #rose imagines #rose scenarios #rose fluff #rose angst #rose smut #rosé #rosé blackpink #rosé imagines #rosé scenarios #rosé smut #rosé fluff #rosé angst #blackpink imagines #blackpink scenarios #blackpink fluff #blackpink angst #blackpink smut #park chaeyoung #park chaeyoung imagines #park chaeyoung scenarios #park chaeyoung fluff #park chaeyoung angst

[chaengluva]

𝚁𝚘𝚜é 𝚡 𝙵𝚎𝚖! 𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚍𝚎𝚛 [𝚊𝚗𝚐𝚜𝚝] 𝚠𝚊𝚛𝚗𝚒𝚗𝚐! 𝚖𝚎𝚗𝚝𝚒𝚘𝚗𝚜 𝚘𝚏 𝚜𝚎𝚕𝚏 𝚑𝚊𝚛𝚖

A new school year, I hoped it would go well, I and my girlfriend being in the same school this year was amazing as well, my parents finally agreed to transfer you here. I wanted to walk to school with Rosé since it was just a few streets away, and being in year 11 is also cool, we can do so many new things.

I woke up early super excited to have moments where Rosé comes behind my from your locker, kissing my check, or holding hands when we walk each other to classes.

At the moment Rosé was my only happiness, i didn’t tell my parents i got bullied in my last school, i don’t want to stress them. My parents work all the time, I don’t remember the last time i saw them. They leave at 4am and come home at 12am, it’s super unhealthy.

Since Rosé is my neighbour, i get to go to her house a lot, we have so many memories together and we are still only young.

Once i was ready, i waited for Rosé outside her house, she came out looking annoyed, rather than happy, when she came next to me, i got on my tippy toes to give her a kiss, but she didn’t even try to kiss me back, i pouted and she looked at me, rolling her eyes and gave me a small peck on the lips.

We walked to school hand in hand, walking in a comfortable silence, but once the school was in sight, she let go of my hand, backing away from me. The school was big, it was wired seeing boys since i just came from a all girls private school, it was also wired seeing girl wear trackies under their school shirk.

“Rosé where is class-“ I turn over to look at Rosé but she not there, i look around to see her sitting with other girls, i smile and run up to hey. “Hey-“ I started, greeting the girls she was sitting with. “Get lost new girl,” One of the five girls said.

“Yeah go hang out with the losers.” Another girl fake pouted put her hand on her forehead in the shape of an ‘L’

The girls laughed, even Rosé joined in, making me a little sad. Another girl, the second tallest of the group, walked up to me holding your sleeves of my jacket. She pulled them up showing my scars, i pulled them down hiding them. I walked away, tears threatening to fall out my eyes, how could Rosé let them treat me like that.

On the way up to the top of the buliding, I bump into a guy, “Rough start?” He asks. “Yeah, how did you know?”

“Those girls, Rosé Narum, Sooyoung, Jennie, and Nayeon are the bullies of the school.” He said, i shook my head, no way my girlfriend was the bully of the school. She’s so nice out of school, does this mean i’m considered a loser to her?

I started breathing heavily, i couldn’t control it, my finger started to shake, and i new what it was, stupid panic attacks. I sat down on the stairs and tried to control my breath. “Hey hey hey hey, it’s ok”

The guy sat next to me, and held my hands, not to tightly but so much si it was comforting. “Breath with me, In and out.” He repeated this until I was feeling better, “I know they can be a pain but trust me, Rosé is my girlfriend and she's nice.” He told me.

More tears fall down and soon as i hear his words. “She’s my girlfriend.” I sob, he wides his eyes, but i call tell he wants to remain calm so he doesn’t panic me. “I’m Jeongin.” The guy smiled, giving me more comfort.

“I’m Y/n” i smile his voice and him coming to me giving me comfort. “their coming.” Jeongin told me. “Jeongin, why are you hanging out with this wiredo!” one of the girls asks. “she’s not a wiredo, leave us alone jennie!”

i was hoping rosé would stand up for me, but she laughed along at the nasty comments they where giving me. “Rosé was right.” the girl who i now knew was called Jennie said. “You’re nothing but a burden to her, leave her and us the fuck alone.”

“Rosie, you said that?” i asked looking at her. She looked down, shamefully. “I trusted you.” i cried, my voice trailing off.

#Rosé #blackpink #parkchaeyoung #pcy #bp #kpop #angst #Rosé angst #stary kids #twice #jeongin #skz #nayeon #nayeontwice #tw

[perfectsunlight]

𝐚𝐭𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧

lisa x non-idol!reader

warnings: angst, arguing

requested: ✔

word count: 4,082

synopsis: 𝗒𝗈𝗎 𝗆𝗂𝗌𝗌 𝗒𝗈𝗎𝗋 𝗀𝗂𝗋𝗅𝖿𝗋𝗂𝖾𝗇𝖽. 𝗂𝗍𝗌 𝖻𝖾𝖾𝗇 𝗆𝗈𝗇𝗍𝗁𝗌 𝗈𝖿 𝗁𝖾𝗋 𝖻𝖾𝗂𝗇𝗀 𝗈𝗇 𝗍𝗈𝗎𝗋, 𝖺𝗇𝖽 𝗒𝗈𝗎𝗋 𝗋𝖾𝗅𝖺𝗍𝗂𝗈𝗇𝗌𝗁𝗂𝗉 𝗂𝗌 𝖻𝖾𝗀𝗂𝗇𝗇𝗂𝗇𝗀 𝗍𝗈 𝗍𝖺𝗄𝖾 𝖺 𝗍𝗎𝗋𝗇 𝖿𝗈𝗋 𝗍𝗁𝖾 𝗐𝗈𝗋𝗌𝗍.

one hundred seventeen days. that is how long it had been since you last saw your girlfriend. you started dating lisa right before blackpink’s comeback after a two year hiatus. however, you already had known lisa for quite a while. 

you met through korean lessons, way back when she could only say “hello.” you were from the united states, and your family had sent you to korea to attend an international school. since you and lisa were both children stranded in a new country, you naturally grew closer, despite her being a trainee and you being a student.

throughout the years your feelings for each other were obvious, but it wasn’t until right before preparations for the next comeback started that you two finally decided to do something about it.

the switch from friend to girlfriend felt subtle, but the differences made you feel giddy inside. lisa also felt the same way, constantly looking at you with those “lovey dovey eyes” as jennie called them. the way you both acted was the equivalent to a high school relationship, and it even got to the point where rosé was starting to gag whenever lisa went off about saying how much she loved you.

everything was perfect, and once promotions started she did get busier, but the thai girl always made sure to keep you a priority. you were busy with university, especially since you would be graduating at the end of the upcoming school year, but like your girlfriend, you were always making sure to still communicate with her. 

if you couldn’t see each other for a weekend, you would just facetime for a few hours instead. if lisa was too tired to call that morning, she would simply call you before you went to bed. if you were busy studying, she would still facetime you just so she could feel your presence and see your face, even if you were not really talking much. 

lisa loved you, and would do anything to make sure you felt it. you were her safe place, her source of comfort, her quiet corner in the noisy world. despite everything lisa did, loving you was the only thing that truly mattered to her.

except everything changed once the born pink tour started.

you knew lisa would be much, much busier than before. you were only just friends during the last tour, but even then you were well aware of how busy she was. from back to back shows, to promotions and interviews, your girlfriend and the rest of her members were the center of attention for the world right now. 

blackpink making a comeback after two years was something no one was anticipating, which made the hype for everything seem even more intense than before. 

you were incredibly proud of lisa, everyone could see that. and even though your relationship was hidden from the public, everyone within the company and those who were close with the girls knew of your relationship. for the first night of the tour, you had actually surprised lisa by waiting for her backstage.

you had told her that you were not going to make it to the concert because of a night class you were taking. even though lisa whined and pouted like there was no tomorrow, she still understood why you would have to miss. 

little did she know that you were waiting for her with open arms the moment she got off the lift. 

the thai girl was actually so overwhelmed that you surprising her caused her to start crying tears of happiness. that night was probably the best night of her life, second to the night she asked you out. it reminded lalisa that no matter where she went, or what she did, nothing compared to the feeling she felt when she held you in her arms.

however, you seemed to be a thought on the backburner the moment lisa left the country.

at first, it was just no phone calls. 

you always made it a thing, that whenever she had to leave the country, she would call you when she landed. of course, lisa always kept this routine, but this time around she only kept it for the first 4-5 shows before she started sending texts hours after landing.

at first, it made you upset. as her girlfriend, you thought it was only common sense for her to call you once she landed. you wanted to make sure she got there safely, and how hard was it to just do that? especially since they flew private, and there would be no other people on the plane to interrupt. 

then, it made you sad. 

once dispatch was faster than your lover, you knew something was not right. the only way you knew that she had landed safely in another foreign country was because of the videos and pictures you were seeing from fans and other media outlets. 

initially, your first impression was that she was just tired and didn’t have the energy, especially after extremely long flights. except, once you saw the videos, that theory was completely debunked. 

there she was, bright eyed and smiling like she had just won the lottery. there were numerous videos of her waving, bowing to paparazzi, and even taking the time to pose with a few fans who waited outside of the airport. 

lisa was not tired. or at least, she wasn’t tired of her job. maybe she was just tired of you?

you tried your best to not argue with lisa during the days she had to perform or interview. it was just out of respect for her career, and the other girls’ as well. it would not sit right with you if you argued before something so important for her.

at least, it never was your intention to start arguing with her in the first place. but unfortunately, your argument lead to something much bigger than the two of you.

“hi babe,” lisa turned her head so that her hairstylist could fix a few things. “why did you call? is everything okay?” 

in all the years of you two knowing each other, you never once had called her before a show. it was always just a “good luck” text. it was mostly out of courtesy, especially since you knew how lisa valued her time before the show to meditate. however, to see your caller id pop up on her phone at such a time made lisa panic, thinking something bad had happened.

from the background noise, you could tell that she was in the middle of getting ready. you could actually make out the noticeable australian accent of her bandmate who must have been in the chair next to her. 

“yeah, everything is fine.” you replied, a smile adorning your lips. “i just wanted to tell you that i got an A on that huge ethics paper i told you about.”

the panic that once filled lisa left as quickly as it came. lisa visibly relaxed, moving the phone away from her ear and putting it on speaker phone so her makeup artist could work while her hairstylist was. 

“ah, that’s great babe, but you couldn’t have just texted me that?” lisa sighed, feeling relieved on one hand that you were fine, but on the other hand, feeling a bit agitated that you had called in the middle of her getting ready. 

your smile disappeared slowly, and you stopped walking. the backpack on your shoulders suddenly felt 100 lbs heavier. lisa was always honest, it was something you had loved about her from the start. but sometimes, it was a little painful. 

“well, i guess so, but-” 

“baby, i am in the middle of getting ready. i thought it was something important, since you never call before shows.” lisa interrupted you before you could finish your sentence. 

your mind was focused on the second sentence your girlfriend had spoke. in lisa’s defense, it was true that you never called her before shows, especially this close to performance time. however, you only wanted to share your good news with her. was that not something important?

were you not something important?

you took a deep breath before exhaling through your nose. you didn’t want to argue with her, especially right now, but what your girlfriend had said really made you upset. lisa was making it sound like you were a burden.

“i just missed you, lalisa.”

lisa shut her eyes, feeling the impending argument coming. she knew that you wouldn’t start something right now, but it didn’t make it any better knowing that the moment she got off stage, she would have to talk things out with you. 

the idol was about to say something, but before she could, she heard their managers telling them they were on in 20 minutes. 

she knew you heard it too, which made things even more awkward. the thai girl sighed once more. “we’re on in 20.”

as you kicked at the ground with your feet, you felt your heart squeezing in your chest. dating an international superstar was already hard enough, but the problems that came with it made it seem unbearable.

“alright. i’m sorry for calling.” 

lisa could hear the sadness in your tone, but as much as she wanted to fix things, she knew she couldn’t. at least, not right now. she was an idol, a performer, and that was something even you knew would always come first.

“i’ve got to go. i love you.”

lisa ended the call after she answered, fully sinking into the leather chair behind her. she let her mind drift, doing her best to organize her thoughts so she could get into her zone. however, she was once again interrupted.

“call her back, lisa.”

the thai girl’s eyes shot open in surprise, turning her head to the right so she could face rosé fully. naturally, the other girl had heard everything, and she was not pleased with her member’s behavior. 

“what?” 

rosé stopped adjusting her jacket in the mirror and turned to meet lisa’s eyes. “call y/n back and apologize.” 

the australian woman knew you were the only truly good thing in the younger girl’s life. even though she hated how you two would be all over each other, she could not stand the thought of lisa ruining her relationship just because of their career. 

lisa’s brows furrowed. it was a stark contrast to her usual bubbly demeanor, but as scary as she looked, rosé was not backing down.

“we only have 20 minutes, i can’t.” she argued. 

rosie shook her head and pointed a finger in her direction. “that is more than enough time to call y/n and make her feel better.” 

the thai girl was confused. she knew you weren’t feeling the best right now, but she also was well aware of the crowd of people waiting for them to perform. she could not risk being late just because of an argument with you, her management would never forgive her.

“rosie, i can’t.” lisa stood from her chair once her hairstylist and makeup artists left. even though your relationship was not in the best state right now, lisa could not help but feel offended that her band member was butting into her business. “besides, its my relationship. i don’t think it’s your place to speak on it.”

rosé took a step towards the younger girl, arms folded across her chest. she was not liking the way lisa was dealing with everything, especially this. she also was aware it was not exactly her place to intrude like this, but you were like family to the girls. rosie wasn’t going to just stand there and let lisa hurt you.

“y/n may not be my girlfriend, but she is my friend. and you,” she motioned with her head. “are making her feel like she’s not important.”

lisa’s jaw dropped at the other girl’s statement. how could she just accuse her of being inconsiderate of your feelings? she knew that she could have worded things better, but it wasn’t like she had blown you off. “she called before the show, which is something she never does, and i still answered. of course she’s important, she’s my girlfriend.” 

roseanne raised an eyebrow, and tilted her head to the side. “really? because i don’t think you act like it.”

the silence that followed was thick, and the tension was almost palpable. if this was a cartoon, there would be steam fuming from lisa’s head. rosie really struck a nerve with her last comment. lisa was doing her best to try and balance a relationship and work, even if the other girl didn’t realize it. either way, it offended lisa greatly to hear such an insensitive and rude comment come from her best friend.

“fuck you, rosé.” lisa hissed, fists balled at her side as she turned and stormed off to get ready for the performance.

this argument caused lisa and rosie to ignore each other for the entire performance. blinks took notice of this, and “chaelisa cold war” became the number one trend on twitter by the next morning. little did you or the fans know what the real cause of this argument was. 

lisa never texted to fix things either, she simply texted you “leaving now, love u.” when she was departing from the airport. you didn’t bother bringing it up again after that.

that was months ago, and even though things were hot and cold with your girlfriend, you were excited because her birthday was coming up. lisa was not able to come home for the occasion, but you still did your best to make sure she felt special on her day.

you had ordered flowers to be delivered to her hotel, and even had a few special presents shipped overseas for her. you currently were in the middle of preparing for midterms, which sort of made you a little thankful that lisa was also just as busy as you were. it made you feel less bad about things.

however, things were getting worse between you two. before it was just a few arguments, but consistent communication. nowadays, it was more arguments and less communication. truth be told, you hadn’t heard from lisa for three days straight now. it was starting to sting more, especially since whenever the two of you spoke, all you would do eventually was argue. 

at this point, it wasn’t just one or the other’s fault, it was just the culmination of both of your clashing schedules, and the fact that you two had not seen each other for over 6 months. 

lisa was losing it, and so were you, but you silently hoped that with it being her birthday, you two would not argue and just enjoy whatever conversation you would have. even if your conversations were short, and usually always strained, you still enjoyed speaking with your girlfriend. 

after all, you knew you were only arguing because you both cared, even if it didn’t seem like it most of the time.

you were studying at the library when lisa finally called you. a smile appeared on your face when you were met with the bubbly face of your girlfriend. the two of you had planned on calling later, so you were surprised that she was calling you way earlier.

“happy birthday, baby.” you smiled at her brightly, to which she mirrored in return. “thank you,” she cooed before pouting. “i wish you were here.” 

you could only give her a small smile in return. you knew she was feeling homesick, and was dying to return to the comfort of your arms. “i know, but for now, why don’t we just focus on the time we have right now.”

the rapper winced, physically frowning at your words. you already knew what was coming, another excuse that was going to cut your time short. even though lisa promised that she would make the time to call you today for more than just 5 minutes, you also knew it was her birthday. she must have plans for later that did not include staying on the phone with you. 

the two of you only stared at each other in silence, the ambience of the library filling your ears with the combined sounds of lisa’s environment on the other end of the phone. 

“i’m sorry.” lisa finally spoke, already well aware that you caught on to what she had not verbally said. it wasn’t her fault, truly. the girls had surprised her with dinner and partying later, and of course she wasn’t going to refuse. it was her birthday, after all. 

your lips pressed into a thin line, only shaking your head slowly. you didn’t want to argue, again. especially on her birthday. that would just be rude. 

“i hope you have fun.” and with that, you and lisa said your goodbyes and ended the call. you cried yourself to sleep that night when you saw all the videos and pictures of her dancing with strangers in the outfit you had gifted her as a birthday present.

the final straw for you was when lisa said she couldn’t make it to your university graduation.

“lisa, are you serious?” you shouted at the phone. tears began forming in your eyes, and lisa could hear the sniffling from the other end of the phone. 

the thai girl winced at the intensity of your voice, it actually hurt her ear for the first time. from the moment she saw the show’s date, she knew months ago that she was going to have to miss it. lisa hated that she knew, and could not do anything about it. 

in fact, she already had tried to do something about it. she tried to get the management and the company to move the date to just two days after, so that she could have enough time to fly to korea and come back. she didn’t care if she had to take a redeye there and back, she wanted to be there. 

unfortunately, her efforts were in vain. she was going to have to miss your graduation. and she hated herself for it.

“you knew for months, lisa.” you croaked out, sobs wracking your body. you had yet to sob in front of her like this after an argument. usually you were good at keeping your composure during your arguments, especially since lisa was almost always with someone else in the room.

but this time, you could not hold it in anymore. you had let a lot of other things slide, but this was something that you could not ignore. 

jennie shot lisa a sympathetic look, which lisa could only hang her head in response. the thai woman felt horrible. you were always there for her accomplishments, and yet she couldn’t even make it to one of your biggest. 

“i tried to get them to move it,” the idol pleaded with you, trying to make you understand that she did try. “they wouldn’t do it.”

you wiped your tears with the back of your hands, sniffling for what felt like the 100th time that hour. “im so tired of this.” you whispered, but lisa heard it all.

the words you whispered rang in her head, and suddenly the blackpink member’s blood went cold. her worst fear was beginning to unfold in front of her, and she feared that she would not be able to stop it.

“all we do is argue, and fight, and its for nothing.” you exhaled with a shaky breath, tears still streaming down your cheeks.

even though lisa couldn’t see you, she could clearly visualize your heartbroken face at that moment. she felt even more terrible for it.

“i’m sorry, y/n.” lisa whispered, her lower lip trembling as she could hear you crying again. “i’m trying my best, here.”

“and you don’t think i have?” you shouted in response. you were tired of this, it was exhausting. lisa was trying her best, but so had you. you had been putting up with everything, just as much as she had been.

lisa rubbed her face with her left hand, biting her lower lip in an attempt to keep herself from crying. jisoo sat next to her and began rubbing her back softly in an attempt to comfort her. 

rosé hung her head as she leaned against the wall. as much as she scolded lisa, she knew that the other girl was truly trying her best, but she also knew that you were as well. 

lisa loved you, and you loved lisa, but unfortunately love alone was not enough to keep things from getting the way they were.

“i don’t even know why we argue, sometimes.” the maknae admitted quietly. she knew it was usually just stress and tight schedules, but that was no excuse for anything. it was a lousy excuse, if anything.

your heart was breaking in your chest, and you felt as if the air in your lungs was escaping quickly. little did you know that the woman you loved also felt the same way.

“the only long conversations we have are when we argue.” you hiccuped, causing lisa to feel even more guilty. in that moment, she wanted nothing more than to get up and catch the next flight back to seoul. she needed to see you, she needed to fix things.

unfortunately, she would never get that chance. 

“i know and im sorry, i’ve been so busy. but you need better, y/n.” 

lisa’s own words broke her heart. she didn’t want to let you go, but she knew that it may be the only option she had at this point. it was hurting her to hurt you.

“i don’t want better, lisa. i just want you to be better.” you quickly replied, holding your knees against your chest. love was resting his head on your shoulder, and you leaned into lisa’s dog for comfort.

the thai girl could hear love whine from the other end of the phone, and it only shattered her heart into even smaller pieces. the fact that even her own dog was there for you and she wasn’t, made her sick to her stomach.

“but why do you put up with all of this?” she mumbled, mentally cursing herself and her career choice. she never knew the idol life would be the reason her relationship ended up turning into a big mess. 

YG almost ruined blackpink, and now her company was about to ruin her relationship too.

tears slowly fell from her face, and jennie grabbed a tissue to gently pat the youngest member’s face. they had an hour left until they were supposed to go out for dinner, but lisa knew her appetite was long gone now.

“because i love you,” you said in a voice above a whisper. your heart was breaking, but lisa was still the one it beat for. your girlfriend, your best friend, and the love of your life was the reason you were crying and breaking at the seams. 

“and because even if we’re fighting, at least you’re paying attention.”

you ended the call after that, and doing so left lisa in shambles. she lied on the floor, knees to her chest and hands over her face. she had never cried so much in her life. she felt like her world was crumbling, and there was nothing she could do to stop it.

once the girls eventually got lisa to get up and hide the fact that she had been crying with shades and a large mask, they made their way to dinner.

however, lisa didn’t feel like eating at all. in fact, she felt like vomiting. 

“i’m going to the bathroom.” lisa mumbled as she stood up and left the table. the members only nodded in understanding, each feeling terrible for both you and their rapper.

however, it was quite worrisome once 30 minutes had past and lisa had not returned. they checked the bathroom, and to their horror, the thai girl was not there. jisoo stepped outside to see if their fellow member just needed some fresh air, but when she looked around, there was no sight of the girl with bangs.

slightly panicking, jennie pulled out her phone to call lisa, but before she could even find the contact, a bolded news headline stood out in her notifications, and all she could do was smile.

BLACKPINK’S LISA SEEN ARRIVING ALONE AT AIRPORT.

a/n: here's my gift to you all for 1,000 followers :) lmk if i should make a part two to this...bc i might do it

#blackpink #lisa x reader #jennie #jisoo #rosé #blackpink x reader #original one shot #kpop #angst #attention #perfectsunlight

[urfriendlylocalidiot]

Welcome to my first angst reaction post (this is really shit ik)

Warning: yn is an asshole in basically all of these

blackpink x reader

Dispatch w/ Blackpink

Dispatch leaks your relationship with your partner, this is the aftermath.

Jisoo

You guys tried to stay together, you really did. But eventually it just got to be too much. At first when the relationship got leaked, Jisoo promised that she would try to protect you as much as she could from her fans. And she did, when you were with her. If anything, it seemed to strengthen your relationship, you learned to rely on each other even more. You were each other’s rock during this process.

However, it all came crashing down when fans began harassing you wherever you went, even if you weren’t with Jisoo. At first it was just a few stolen pictures, which was a massive invasion of your privacy. You and Jisoo hoped that, that would be it. You could handle stolen pictures and even the hate comments.

Eventually though, the sasaengs found where you lived, after they followed you home one day. Of course, you called the police and they ran away. This was your ending point though. You just couldn’t stay in a relationship with Jisoo, if it meant your literal safety would be in danger. The next time you see Jisoo, after the basic pleasantries, you both state at the same time, “we need to break up.” Her reasoning was management.

Jennie

Jennie would beat herself up about getting caught. And of course you would be there to comfort her. Her management wants her to breakup with you as soon as possible. However you ask her if she truly wants to breakup with you, shaking her head, you two decide to continue dating. Despite all the difficulties, the hate does die down pretty quickly. And you guys don’t go in public together, ever.

Which was fine with you, since you were a homebody anyways. Jennie would still get nervous from time to time, reading comments on vlive. You are always there to support her and tell her that you don’t care what other people think about your relationship.

You love her and she loves you, and that’s the way things were going to be, no matter what strangers said. Hearing this would make her feel better, however, usually afterwards you would still have to hold Jennie as she falls asleep.

Rosé

She would fight for you. Because who really cares what other people say about your relationship? Despite management (and millions of netizens) insisting that you guys end things. She still stayed by your side, she was just what you needed during this time. However, after your relationship got leaked, it did force you to realize just how different you and Rosé were.

And unfortunately that lead to the realization of, you have to end things. It was a long and painful argument, but eventually Rosé respected your decision. You left her apartment with tears running down both of your faces. Away from your light.

Rosé was absolutely heartbroken. She couldn’t believe that you had really broken up with her, sure you guys had your disagreements, but it seems like this problem was a little too big for both of you. Not knowing what else to do she wrote a song for you. When she releases it, it was a big hit not only because it’s Rosé but because it also confirmed your breakup. Unknowingly to her, your heart breaks every time you listen to it, but it’s still your most played song.

Lisa

She couldn’t believe it. It was her worst nightmare. You, her great love, were now getting hate because of her. She would constantly compliment and whisper sweet nothing to you. Of course, you assured it was alright, most of the comments were online and pretty easy to ignore.

Until, they weren’t, inevitably you guys went out together and you had to hear comments aloud about how you didn’t deserve her, how they were going to kill you, and other insults. Although you put on a brave face. It did get to be a lot. She didn’t want to lose you. Especially not over this. She loved you.

However when some sasaengs find your friends and family’s social medias and leave hate comments and death threats. You decide to call it off. Truth be told, the death threats scared you the most, you weren’t entirely sure if they were all fake. Lisa would cry, a lot, but she would understand.

#blackpink #blackpink angst #blackpink reactions #blackpink x reader #blackpink scenarios #blackpink imagines #blackpink jisoo #blackpink jennie #blackpink rosé #blackpink lisa #jisoo x reader #jennie x reader #rosé x reader #lisa x reader #jisoo blackpink #jennie blackpink #rosé blackpink #lisa blackpink #jisoo imagines #jennie imagines #rosé imagines #angst #jisoo angst #jennie angst #rosé angst #lisa angst #angst jisoo #angst jennie #angst rosé #angst lisa

[authorforrosie]

Chapter 1: Broken Hearted.

Pairing: Rosé x You. Jisoo x You.

[End pairing gxg.]

Warnings: Mention of cheating, tears, sobbing, broken heart.

Words: 1147.

Author Note: I would appreciate if you could leave feedback in comments or reblog. This is my first series take it easy on me. I pinky promise it’s very angsty, fluffy and beautiful. I will publish new chapters whenever I can. 🥺❤️

You've been sitting on a seat in Rosé's favorite cozy looking café. A mug of your favorite tea stand on the table next at a Shakespeare book that you've been wanting to read for a while.

You fingers moved on table a rhythm while you had a nervous expression on your face. You didn't know why Rosé wanted to meet you here but it must be very serious. The most logical is that she will break up with you. You've noticed how distant she has been getting in the past year of two years that you both dated each other.

You sat on the couch of the apartment you share with your girlfriend Rosé. You couldn't count anymore how many times she cancelled and stood you up. Jisoo has been telling you to break up with Rosé because of how much she has been hurting you. You knew you couldn't leave her since you love her so much.

When the front door opened you saw Rosé with her blouse not opened up, her hair messily, lipstick on her lips and love bits cover her milky pale pretty skin. Tears rolled down your cheeks when she walked right past you without paying you any attention. You only wiped your tears with the sleeve of your shirt as the bathroom door slammed shut loudly. A smell of unknown female perfume hit your nose.

Which caused new tears to rolling down your cheeks. It took a lot self-control not to break down right then and there.

You looked up when you heard the bell of the Café front door. You saw Rosé walking towards your table with a nervous expression on her face. You glanced down again into your tea mug. You didn't know how to react right now. Luckily Jisoo insisted on driving you back home in her cozy and wonderful car. That's parked outside.

You both bowed at each other. You and Rosé sat down. You noticed how Rosé checked you out. She glanced at you as if it would be the last time. Which you finally realized that it would actually be the last time that you look at Rosé in that way. Because it wouldn't get any further with you two. You either break each other down or one of you get's even more heartbroken.

You sat down in front of Rosé. It was your first date together since she asked to court you. You saw how in love with you she truly was. A sparkle in her brown doe eyes.

Now Rosé didn't have that sparkle anymore in her brown doe eyes. She glanced at you with a look that told you everything you needed to know. You saw the nervous and guilty expression on her face. You knew she was guilty that she wasn't honest with you in her relationship.

It took a lot of self-control not to start crying right then and there since you knew that your relationship with Rosé is over. After that your memories will fade from your mind a little bit until it's a fade memories.

„Y/N listen we need to have a serious conversation..." Announcement Rosé with guilt and sadness into her voice.

You didn't know what to say towards the announcement of Rosé. Too many tears rolled down your cheeks.

„I know I just had the hope that it would hurt less. But I've realized in the whole year that it truly hurt if you truly love someone." State you with hurt and reflection in your voice.

You looked down at the table since you know that Rosé is telling the truth and not lying. Which makes it even more hurting.

„I need to confess that I fell in love with another person. It's the same person I cheated on you with. I know I need to end this relationship now because it isn't healthy anymore. I am sorry. I am so incredibly sorry that I couldn't keep my promise of loving you forever. I am sorry that I have been putting you through so much hurt. You deserve so much better and I hope that you will become happier someday." Confessed Rosé with sadness and seriousness in her voice.

You looked into Rosé's brown doe eyes and only nodded with your head for her to continue.

„I didn't knew that I would fall in love with the person until I did. I don't love you anymore and I never will. I don't think you satisfied me enough." Finished Rosé with honesty in her voice.

You nodded with your head thinking of what to say next. You didn't wanna go down on her level. Since Jisoo taught you to be smart in conversations.

„I am sorry but I need to finish this conversation now. Since I realize that your behavior is too toxic and that it isn't healthy anymore. I am sorry that I didn't satisfied you enough. I tried my best. I just hope you won't break the heart from the next person you claim you have been falling for." Finished you the conversation with honest and seriousness in your voice. You bowed at her as an goodbye sign and left. You still Heard- the harsh words that left her mouth when you walked away.

You didn't listen at her anymore or give her any attention. Because you realize that she is too toxic. When you went out from the front door you sighed in relief. You went into Jisoo's car and put your seatbelt on after sitting down closing the car door in progress.

After you told Jisoo everything that Rosé said in the conversation before you had to finish it. She only shook her head. She couldn't believe that Rosé would be so heartless. In the end you never truly a person remembered Jisoo.

„This seems so unlike her. In the end we don't really know a person through. Even if we think we know them truly. That's the saddest fact about humanity. How about we get our favorite ice cream and then watch a good K-Drama on Netflix.?" Suggestion Jisoo with wiggling eyebrows.

Jisoo looked into your eyes with a look that you couldn't recognize before. It ended before you could really think about it.

„This seems like a wonderful idea Chu. I would love to eat ice cream with you." Giggled you with cuteness.

Jisoo smiled with her brown eyes crinkling at the corners. She took your hand and kissed your knuckles at cheer you up. Which she clearly did since you smiled. As she suggested she drive at the mall at grab ice cream for you both. Then drive at her house so you both could have a cute movie night. With eating ice cream on spoon and conversations about hot actresses while you both watch Netflix. That’s exactly what you need since you are broken hearted.

#roseanne park #rosé park #rosé imagines #roséscenarios #rosé x you #rosé x reader #jisoo turtle rabbit kim #jisoo kim #jisoo x you #jisoo x reader #blackpink rosé #blackpink jisoo #blackpink #blackpink fanfiction #blackpink angst #blackpink series #blackpink x reader #blackpink x you #kpop #kpop fanfiction #kpop x you #kpop x reader #no smut #angst series #angst with a happy ending #fan fiction recommendations #reading recommendations #series #recommended for you #authorforrosie

[hauntedbythenarrative]

Gone, Rosé//House of the Dragon (2022-)

#angst #web weaving #mine #rhaenicent #house of the dragon #hotd #got #game of thrones #asoiaf #a song of ice and fire #rhaenyra targaryen #alicent hightower #milly alcock #emily carey #rhaenyra x alicent #alicent x rhaenyra #rosé #gone #quotes #words #wlw #lesbian #sapphic #queer #lgbt+ #lovers to enemies #love #failed love #anger #resentment

[lvesickjens]

— ☆. BLACKPINK MASTERLIST.

last updated 21st oct 2023

a - angst | s - smut/suggestive | f - fluff | ** - trigger warning

☆. KIM JI-SOO.

n/a.

☆. KIM JENNIE.

n/a.

☆. PARK ROSÈ.

n/a.

☆. LALISA MANOBAL.

n/a.

#blackpink #blackpink x reader #blackpink fanfic #blackpink smut #jennie x reader #lisa x reader #rosè x reader #jisoo x reader #rose x reader #jennie kim #kim jisoo #park rosé #lalisa manobal #lisa smut #jennie smut #jisoo smut #rose smut #blackpink angst

[arboreal-hiding]

Sometimes Eugene doubts that he’s truly alive, but his new ‘parents’ make him feel more human. They remind him how alive he is, and how much there is to enjoy about life

#drawtectives #drawfee #angst #eugene finch #grendan highforge #york rogdul #rosé #headcanon #i love him #he’s so silly

[gyupremacy]

Misc Masterlist

These are a list of my works outside of BTS and SVT. I likely won't update it that much considering I primarily write for them, but if an idea sparks or I'm doing a collab for another group or artist you enjoy, you can find them over here 🫶🏽

Smut [❃]

Fluff [ღ]

Angst [∞]

HCs [✎]

Moodboards [♧]

DISCLAIMER Do not copy, translate, or repost any of my works to any other platforms

↳ Out Of Your League (Jaehyun) [ღ] [∞] - People have always made it clear that they felt Jaehyun was out of your league. Time and time again you would just brush it off, until you finally break down.

↳ EX-pected (Hyunjin) [∞] - Coming to terms with a breakup can be hard for anyone, you're just not ready to reopen old wounds.

↳ My Happy Place (Rosé) [ღ] - Having a picnic date with your girlfriend Rosé just to relax a bit and spend time with each other.

↳ Only Yours (Taemin) [ღ] - You enjoy some time with your boyfriend Taemin.

↳ Chaeyoung Secret Santa 2021 [♧]

↳ Kiss & Make Up (San) [❃] [ღ] [∞] - Your fiancé San hasn't been as active in the preparations for your upcoming wedding, and it's starting to get to you. Tensions rise after an argument about the subject.

© gyupremacy, 2022. All rights reserved. 

#blackpink headcanons #roseanne park imagine #rosé fluff #nct imagines #jeong jaehyun imagine #jaehyun fluff #stray kids imagines #hwang hyunjin imagines #hyunjin angst #shinee imagine #lee taemin imagine #taemin fluff #twice moodboard #son chaeyoung moodboard #ateez imagines #choi san imagines #san smut #san fluff #san angst #gyupremacy

[multiphandomunnies]

Blackpink

reactions

Jisoo

Jennie

Rose

Lisa

#blackpink #kpop #kpop imagines #kpop scenarios #kpop fluff #kpop reacts #kpop reactions #kpop angst #blackpink imagines #blackpink fluff #blackpink reacts #blackpink reactions #blackpink scenarios #jennie #jisoo #rose #rosé #lisa #jennie kim #lalisa

[chaengluva]

About Me

My name is Emma but you can call me ‘Em’ I’m a Fem Lesbian and I love to act and dance also sing (not well) ! I also love writing stories and editing videos

My favourite artists are Rosé from Blackpink and Reneé Rapp.

My favourite movies are Final Destination 1 & 3

My favourite shows are The Sex Lives of College Girls and Yellow Jackets.

Follow my Tiktok, It’s a fanpage for Rosé

#gxg #mean girls 2024 #regina george #reneé rapp #wlw #lesbian #mean girls #angst #fluff #janis imi'ike #rosé #blackpink #rosé blackpink #rosé and reneé #i love woman #requests open #leighton murray #renee rapp #the sex lives of college girls

[perfectsunlight]

𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐲𝐨𝐮

lisa x non-idol!reader

warnings: minor angst (?) , mostly fluff tbh

part 2 of attention

word count: 3,313

synopsis: your girlfriend proves that she'd do anything for you, no matter what.

an international flight was more than enough time for lisa to think. she knew you weren’t going to answer her, especially after your last argument. she also knew that this wasn’t just about the argument, or your graduation. this was about your relationship.

lisa rested her head against the window, doing her best to ignore the kid kicking her seat behind her and the way the man next to her was snoring. when she arrived at the airport, she didn’t really have a plan. all she knew was that she needed to get onto the next flight back to korea as soon as possible.

maybe that’s why she didn’t care if she got an economy class ticket and boarded without anything except the clothes on her back and the items in her purse. perhaps that’s why she didn’t care that her phone was at 45% or that her airpods were left in the hotel. but none of that seemed to matter to her at the moment.

nothing was as important as you.

with a heavy sigh, the idol closed her eyes, attempting to find solace in the darkness behind her eyelids. but there was no escape. every single one of her empty promises haunted her. she realized that this flight was more than just a physical journey; it was a mental and emotional odyssey, a chance to finally confront the demons that had driven a wedge between you and her.

regret was not a strong enough word to describe the emotions that she felt right now. 

she had spent so long blaming everything and everyone else for the issues you two had. the tour, the company, the schedules. these all had a strain on your relationship, but she never stopped to truly recognize that her actions had done the most damage.

but lisa also knew she was causing damage by going to be with you, as well.

missing a concert date was a breach that yg entertainment would not take lightly, especially from someone as crucial to the group as her. the repercussions would be severe, but at that moment, it felt like a distant concern. 

all she cared about right now was you.

time seemed to stretch and contract in the confined space of the airplane. hours passed like minutes, and yet every second felt like an eternity. the rhythmic hum of the engines provided a backdrop to her thoughts as she drifted in and out of attentiveness. 

as the plane descended into seoul, lisa's heart beat erratically in her chest, matching the turbulence of her thoughts. the city lights twinkled below, a familiar sight that should have comforted her, but all she felt was a gnawing anxiety. the weight of it pressed on her chest, making it hard to breathe.

she glanced at her phone, which was at 15% battery, and noticed the time. lisa would barely make it on time to your graduation. it was cutting close. 

every passing minute seemed to mock her, reminding her of the time slipping away, of the chance she might be losing with each second ticking by. the reality of what she had done settled in like a heavy stone in her stomach, a constant reminder of her impulsive decision. as the plane taxied toward the gate, lisa's fingers drummed anxiously on the armrest. she knew she had to face the consequences of her actions. 

with a sense of urgency, lisa rushed out of the plane. paparazzi and fans were everywhere. the thai girl pulled her shades closer to her face and lowered her cap to shield her eyes and send the silent message that she didn’t want to deal with anyone right now. 

lisa navigated the chaos of the airport terminal with the grace of a seasoned performer, her steps quick and purposeful despite the pounding in her chest. the cacophony of voices and camera shutters filled the air, each flash of light blinding her momentarily. she pulled her shades closer to her face, a feeble attempt to shield herself from the prying eyes and the harsh glare of the cameras. she felt like a deer in the headlights, vulnerable and exposed. 

the fans, once adoring, now felt like an encroaching wall of judgment and scrutiny. every step she took seemed to magnify her guilt, each flash of the camera a reminder of her failures. reaching the front of the airport, lisa spotted a nearby taxi.

paparazzi shouted questions, their relentless pursuit of a scandal evident in their probing eyes. lisa kept her head down, her cap pulled low, and her shades hiding her emotions. she was a fortress of stone, unwilling to let the world see the cracks in her armor. as she slid into the backseat of the car, the noise outside dulled to a muffled roar. the tinted windows offered a semblance of privacy, shielding her from the prying eyes outside. 

inside the taxi, the atmosphere was a stark contrast to the chaos outside. the paparazzi’s shouts faded into the distance, and the insulating walls of the car cocooned lisa in a brief moment of respite. yet, the weight of her actions pressed heavily upon her shoulders, even in the relative silence of the vehicle. 

“where to?” the driver asked as he looked back at the idol through his rear view mirror. “seoul national university.” lisa quickly replied, rubbing her temples. 

the taxi driver nodded, his eyes meeting lisa's briefly in the rearview mirror before he pulled away from the curb. the city lights blurred into streaks of color as the car sped through the night, the engine's hum a steady rhythm beneath their conversation. lisa leaned back in her seat, her mind a whirlwind of thoughts. 

the weight of her actions bore down on her, but in this moment, she was determined to face them. there was no turning back now. the truth, raw and unfiltered, was what you deserved. as the car wound its way through the familiar streets of seoul, lisa's gaze drifted outside the window. her phone buzzed with messages and missed calls, but she ignored them. right now, you were her sole focus.

this was your special evening. she’d witnessed how hard you had worked over the past years, spending hours studying and slaving away at the kitchen table in her home. there were many days when she’d barely be coming home at the early hours of daw, only to see you fast asleep under your books and papers. 

there were countless evenings when lisa would return home after a grueling day of rehearsals and find you hunched over your books, your eyes tired but resolute. the soft glow of your laptop screen illuminated your face as you delved into your notes, your fingers dancing across the keyboard with practiced ease. 

your girlfriend would watch you in admiration, marveling at your intellect and work ethic. she recalled the times when you would fall asleep amidst your textbooks, your head resting on a pile of notes and your hand still holding a pen. lisa would gently cover you with a blanket, tucking you in with a tender kiss to your cheek. if you fell asleep on the couch, she’d just pick you up and carry you to bed with her.

she cherished those moments, the sight of you in peaceful slumber, surrounded by the remnants of your dedication to your education. 

one particular memory stood out vividly in lisa's mind at that moment. 

it was the night before a crucial exam, the air thick with tension and anticipation. you had been studying for two weeks straight for this exam. your brows furrowed in concentration, eyes puffy and red from the mental breakdown caused by the anxiety you were feeling about the exam. lisa had just held you in her arms for a good half an hour as you cried.

lisa remembered how she was going to suggest you take a break, but you simply wiped your eyes and turned back to focus on your flashcards. there was a fire in your eyes, a fierce determination that lisa had always admired. it was a determination that had brought you through countless challenges, and she had no doubt it would carry you through this exam too.

the thai girl prayed for even an ounce of that determination you had from that night to be present in her current moment. as the university came into view, lisa could feel her heart racing. this was it. 

when paying the driver, her fingers fumbled with the bills and she definitely gave him double than what he charged because she didn’t care about counting any of the money out. there wasn’t enough time for that. 

she quickly stepped out of the taxi, the cool night air hitting her face. the campus gymnasium was where the commencement ceremony would be. lisa pulled her hat down further, practically running full speed towards the building at the end of the block. 

lisa's sneakers pounded against the pavement as she sprinted towards the campus gymnasium. her heart raced, not just from the physical exertion but from the urgency of the moment. the distant echoes of applause and laughter reached her ears, a reminder that the ceremony had already begun.

each step she took was a plea for time to slow down, for the universe to grant her a few precious moments to make things right. as she neared the gymnasium, she slowed her pace, trying to catch her breath. she straightened her cap and removed her sunglasses, taking a moment to compose herself before entering. the night air had done little to calm the storm inside her.

the weight of her actions hung heavy, and every heartbeat was a reminder of what she had risked losing. taking a deep breath, she pushed open the doors to the gymnasium. the atmosphere inside was charged with excitement and anticipation. the graduates, clad in their caps and gowns, sat in neat rows, their faces illuminated by the soft glow of the stage lights. the air was thick with a sense of achievement, a tangible reminder of the years of hard work that had led to this moment. 

lisa scanned the crowd, her eyes searching for you amidst the sea of faces. the fear of not finding you clawed at her, urging her to move faster. the sea of dark blue uniformity didn’t help her either. but she’d recognize you anywhere, blending in blue or not.

finally, her eyes landed on you. you were seated towards the back middle rows, your eyes fixed on the stage, a mixture of pride and determination in your gaze. 

the idol pulled her hat down lower, fearing that she’d cause a huge scene if recognized by anyone. lisa quickly slipped into one of the side bleachers as your section stood up and made way towards the stage.

the pride in your eyes was undeniable, a reflection of the years of hard work and dedication that had brought you to this moment. as you walked, your steps were confident, your shoulders squared with determination. lisa felt a mixture of awe and regret wash over her. 

awe for your strength and resilience, and regret for the pain she had caused you. the applause that filled the gymnasium was deafening as each graduate's name was called. lisa clapped along, her eyes never leaving you. she marveled at your grace, your ability to shine even in the midst of her failures. each step you took towards the stage felt like a step away from the darkness of the past and towards a brighter, hopeful future. 

as you ascended the stage, lisa held her breath, her hands trembling slightly. the pride in your accomplishments filled the room, a tangible force that seemed to push back the shadows of doubt that had clouded her mind. for a moment, she allowed herself to bask in the sheer brilliance of your achievements, a glimmer of hope that perhaps, with time, she could be worthy of you once more. 

the moment your name was called, the room erupted into applause. lisa clapped harder, her heart swelling with a mix of emotions. you walked across the stage, receiving your diploma with a smile that could light up the entire room. at that moment, the thai girl’s heart swelled with pride and love. 

she was reminded of just how incredible the person she had fallen in love with was.

as you made your way back to your seat, lisa's eyes followed you, her gaze soft with adoration. she knew that this was just the beginning of your journey, and she was determined to be there for every step of the way. the applause continued, but in her heart, there was a quiet resolve. she would make amends, prove her love, and stand by you, no matter what challenges lay ahead. in that moment, amidst the sea of applause and celebration, lisa made a silent promise to herself. 

she would be better. she would be the partner you deserved, supporting you, uplifting you, and loving you unconditionally. no matter what.

the ceremony continued, but lisa's focus remained solely on you. she knew that the path to redemption would be long and challenging, but for you, she was willing to face any obstacle.

echoes of the ceremony's final applause reverberated through the gymnasium as the graduates tossed their caps into the air, celebrating the end of an era and the beginning of a new chapter. for everyone else, it was a moment of joy and accomplishment, but for the idol, it was a reminder of her solemn commitment. 

as the crowd began to disperse, families reuniting with their graduates, lisa waited patiently in the corner, her eyes never leaving you. her cap was lowered, and her shades were resting on her head. she was wearing a mask she snagged from the taxi driver as well, just to make sure no one else would recognize her.

well, no one other than you, of course.

you finished hugging your parents, and over your mother’s shoulder was when you noticed the girl you loved in the corner. at first you thought you were seeing things, but you’d spent too many nights sleeping in lisa’s clothes to not recognize them.

without another second, you ran towards your girlfriend. lisa’s arms opened as she embraced you, hugging you tightly against her chest. tears fell over from both your eyes and hers. it had been months since you two had seen each other, and despite the argument that had occurred just a day prior, you couldn’t care about anything else while being wrapped up in the arms of the idol.

“you came.” you whispered into her chest, tears soaking her jacket.  in the tight embrace of lisa's arms, you could feel the steady rhythm of her heart, a comforting reminder that she was real, that she had come back to you despite all the obstacles and the recent argument. tears streamed down your cheeks, mixing with hers, as the emotions of the moment overwhelmed you both.

“anything for you,” the taller girl whispered back, her voice filled with a mixture of relief and remorse. she held you even tighter, as if trying to make up for all the time that had passed since you last saw each other.

“but how? you’re supposed to be performing tonight.” your teary eyes met hers as you looked up at her with confusion. 

lisa brushed a strand of hair away from your face, her thumb gently wiping away the tear stains on your cheeks. “i did what i had to do,” she explained, her voice soft yet determined. “i needed to be here for you, that this was more important than any performance.” a mix of surprise and gratitude washed over you. knowing how tightly controlled her schedule usually was, you understood the significance of her decision. 

“you're my priority, y/n. i've realized that nothing matters more to me than you, than us. i don't want to miss out on the important moments in your life.”

it was a sentiment that resonated deeply within you. the fact that she was willing to put your relationship before her career, before the demands of fame, filled you with a sense of overwhelming love and devotion. 

“but won't there be consequences?” you asked, your concern for her career evident in your voice. lisa cupped your face in her hands, her eyes locking onto yours with unwavering determination.

“i don't care about the consequences. i'll face whatever comes my way. i want to be there for you.” the idol pulled her mask down and pulled you closer to her, speaking to you in the most soft and sincere tone you’d ever heard from her. “i’ll fly halfway across the world for you at the drop of a hat. i’d drop my career and my schedule if you called. you mean more to me than anything else.”

her words hung in the air, a solemn promise that washed away your doubts and fears. in that moment, you realized the depth of her commitment to you, the lengths she was willing to go to make things right. 

tears welled up in your eyes once again, but this time, they were tears of gratitude and overwhelming love. you pulled her into another tight hug, clinging to her as if she was your lifeline, because in that moment, she was. “i love you, lili,” you whispered against her shoulder, your voice filled with sincerity and adoration. 

“i love you too, y/n,” lisa replied, her words muffled against your hair, but the love in her voice was crystal clear. “more than words can describe, and more than i can express.” she added, gently kissing your forehead.

in that tender moment, under the weight of her love and the sincerity in her voice, you felt a profound sense of peace wash over you. the doubts that had clouded your heart dissipated like mist under the morning sun, leaving behind only the unshakable certainty that you were meant to be together. 

“i'd do anything for you,” lisa whispered, her voice soft and unwavering, her eyes gazing into yours with a depth of emotion that left you breathless. “i'll stand by you, no matter what challenges come our way. i'll be your rock, your support, and your greatest cheerleader. you're my everything, and i promise to spend every moment proving that to you.” 

with those words, you knew that your love story had weathered the storm and emerged stronger than ever before. in lisa's arms, you found not just solace, but a profound connection that transcended the boundaries of words and actions. it was a love that spoke in the silent moments, in the gentle touches, and in the unwavering presence of one another.

 “i think i just fell in love with you all over again,” you whispered back, your voice echoing the depth of your emotions. in that shared promise, you found the strength to face the future, hand in hand, ready to conquer whatever challenges life might throw your way. your girlfriend could only smile, because she knew everything she had done was worth it.

the last minute flight, the kid kicking her seat for 10 hours, the chaos at the airport, the fact that she’d get an earful from her company, her phone dying in the taxi and her losing $200 by paying the driver. none of that mattered to her.

none of it except being here with you.

with a tender kiss against your lips, lisa held you close, sealing the promises made between you two. you knew without the shadow of a doubt now, that the world class idol you loved would do anything for you.

no, lisa would do everything for you. and you could only smile against her lips.

because you knew you’d do anything and everything for her, too.

a/n: thank you for 1.8k :) enjoy this bc i know u all have been waiting for it <3

#blackpink #lisa x reader #jennie #jisoo #rosé #blackpink x reader #original one shot #kpop #angst #attention part 2 #perfectsunlight

[thewatermelloncat]

Cell Blocks

Summary: Everything was fine until it suddenly wasn’t. After a night of radio silence, Denali has to wait until Rosé is ready to explain why her life seems to be falling apart.

Author’s Note: This is definitely the most mature edition of this series I have done so far, and it has my favourite scene I have ever written in it. I’m so excited to share it will you all.

Warnings: scene with the CONSENSUAL ADMINISTRATION OF STRESS RELIEVING SUBSTANCE. It’s scientifically debatable whether Rescue Remedy works at all, but I know medicinal related themes can be triggering for some, so I thought I’d stick the warning in to be super safe ❤

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Everything was normal. They had walked to school together and Denali had copied the last of the science homework from Rosé’s book before class because she hadn’t found time to finish it after skating practice the night before. The class was boring as to be expected and Denali had to stop herself from drawing in the margins of her book. Then it all changed with a knock at the door.

“Rosé” Mr Charles, the school principal, stands in the doorway.

None of the usual exclamations of ‘ooh, you’re in trouble’ are spoken, possibly because of how solemnly her name was said.

A look of confusion crosses Rosé’s face as she stands from her chair and Denali knows that she wasn’t expecting this at all. Though all she can do is watch as Rosé walks to the doorway across the room. Mr Charles staying beneath it to guide her through with a gentle hand on her shoulder instead of walking off ahead. That’s how they know she’s not in trouble, but it doesn’t make Denali worry any less.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

The period is almost over when Rosé comes back. Stepping into the room alone, though the silhouette of someone else can be seen through the frosted window of the classroom door.

“Rosie? What’s happening?” Denali asks quietly as Rosé starts to pack up her stuff beside her.

At Rosé not answering Denali looks up at her, seeing her breathing tensely and her jaw shut tight. The shining of her eyes giving away that she’s either been crying already or is trying really hard not to.

Then not getting an answer doesn’t sting at all since it’s clear Rosé can’t bring herself to speak. So, instead of pressing for more, Denali throws her pen in her pencil case and zips it up before handing it to her with an encouraging smile.

She doesn’t know if Rosé resisters it because she gets nothing back, but she doesn’t blame her and lets her go. Staring at the doorway long after it has closed behind her.

She doesn’t pay attention at all for the last five minutes of class, almost flinching when the bell rings. Habitually she throws her stuff back in her bag and slings it on her back before following the rest of her classmates on their way out the door.

“Denali?” Her teacher’s voice stops her as she walks past the front desk. “You’re close with Rosé, aren’t you?”

Denali nods, at a loss for words.

“Would you check in with her later tonight?”

“What’s happened?” Denali can’t help herself from asking.

“She’ll tell you if she wants to but it’s not my place to say.”

Denali nods, understanding but wishing she didn’t have to. Then she confirms, “yeah, I’ll check in with her.”

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

She thought she’d give Rosé a little space, so she refrained from texting her at lunchtime. Though as soon as the last school bell sounded, her phone was out of her pocket and up to her ear. Listening to the sound of a ringback tone as she weaves through the hallways and out the school gate.

Her tongue clicks when the call disconnects with no answer and she tries again, ending with the same result.

“For god sakes Rosie, pick up!” she curses under her breath, earning a couple of weird stares from groups who walk home around her. Paying them no mind, she looks down at the call button again before huffing out a sigh and deciding to give it a rest.

Rosé will see that she has missed calls and call her back when she wants to.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

It’s getting late and she knows it. If her eyes almost falling shut while she blindly watches the TV doesn’t give it away, her mum reaching for the remote and turning it off does.

“Still haven’t heard anything from her?” Gentle hands come to rest on her shoulders and Denali shakes her head.

“I texted her again, but I can’t tell if she’s read any of them.”

Chamilla hums before her grip tightens. “Come on, bedtime. You’ve waited up for her long enough.”

Denali pulls a face with a weak sound of complaint. “I’m so worried about her.”

“I know.” Chamilla rounds the side of the couch to sit next to her. “You’ve set up the bed for her and we’ve got everything she needs if she comes over.”

“I just…” Denali trails off.

“She knows how to find us” Chamilla assures. “She’ll turn up if she wants to.”

There’s sense in that and Denali nods. Reluctantly she lets herself be guided up from the couch and up the stairs before her mother tucks her into bed and turns out the light.

Even in the dark Denali stares down at the made-up pull-out bed. She can’t make out much of it, but she can make it out enough to know that Rosé isn’t in it. Feeling alone and helpless, she stares at it, empty, until she falls asleep.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

It was a stupid idea to try and text while walking up the short set of school steps considering Denali nearly trips at the edge of the top one. Though she manages to catch herself on the railing before pulling over to the side of the school doors to finish the text, safely out of the way of the moving crowd.

Staring down at her phone screen, she doesn’t look up until a hand taps her on the leg as Rosé comes to stand beside her.

“I was just texting you” Denali says, forgetting about the message and pocketing her phone.

“I didn’t mean to ignore you” Rosé apologises immediately for all the messages that went unanswered.

“That’s okay” Denali dismisses. “I probably sent you way too many. I just had no idea how you were or what was going on.”

“My dad lost his job” Rosé looks away when she tells her, and Denali knows there is more to it than that, but she won’t push for it.

“Did he not take it well?”

“I wouldn’t say so” Rosé says a little stiffly.

“Well, I guess who would?” Denali considers before asking, “do you want to go sit somewhere for a bit?” Noting how tense Rosé seems being around so many people filing into the hallways.

Rosé nods and Denali takes her hand as they head through to the other side of the building toward the field.

“Huh” one of the school douchebags, Jeffery, muses as he steps forward to block Rosé’s path. “Surprised you’re here since I saw you leaving yesterday in a police car.”

The implications of the comment go completely over Denali’s head as she steps closer to Rosé’s side.

“What do you want?” Rosé stands taller but lets Denali pull her back a step.

“To know where your ankle bracelet is.”

“Hey, stop!” Denali cuts in, glaring at him but he’s not even looking at her. Her interjection going ignored by both parties.

“If I had an ankle bracelet I wouldn’t be here now, would I?” Rosé bites back at him.

“Guess you wouldn’t” Jeffery accepts but doesn’t back down. “Bet they just let you off with a warning.”

Denali misses whatever Rosé says back to him, suddenly aware of a crowd gathering around them.

“…I don’t know. Weed possession?” Jeffery shrugs obnoxiously.

“Oh, like you’ve never smoked it.” Rosé steps forward again, looking him up and down in challenge.

He scoffs lowly, smirking down at her who he still has a couple of inches on. “It’s only a matter of time before they have you locked in a cell.”

Time seems to slow down then speed up as Rosé’s eyes widen dangerously before she suddenly has him against the lockers. A loud clang echoing through the hallway and his breath knocked out of him. Her hands bunched up in his jacket and his toes only just on the floor.

And for some reason instead of rushing forward to break it up, Denali steps back. Strangely at peace with this playing out.

It takes a few seconds for Jeffery to get his breath back and when he does his fist connects with the side of Rosé’s jaw.

Even as her head turns to the side, she doesn’t let him go. She grunts at the impact and draws in a deep breath as she turns her head back. Then she shifts her jaw before chuckling darkly. A slow smile spreading across her lips before she tightens her grip on him and shoves him to the side, him falling to the floor.

“You should have gone for my nose, you twat!” she speaks down at him. “Would have hurt more.”

Jeffery huffs out a breath as he stands, his fists clenching and his lips twitching as he means to spit something back at her. Only to be cut off before he can.

“Break it up!” Miss Visage makes her way through the crowd that parts for her. “McCorkell, with me.”

Ahead of her Jeffery scoffs a laugh and smiles in self-satisfaction.

Miss Visage then turns to him. “Chapman… principal’s office.”

His smirk falls and one grows across Rosé’s lips as she walks past him.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

She’s been sitting alone in the office for a while now, staring down at her shoes on the floor and her hands fidgeting down on her lap. Normally she doesn’t like doing this anymore, but right now she can’t seem to care. She’ll take whatever punishment is given to her. She’s just so completely numb.

The latch clicks and Rosé sits back in her chair as the door opens. Footsteps walk across the room before an arm comes over her shoulder, holding an icepack in front of her.

“It’s fine” Rosé dismisses the mark forming on her jaw.

“It’ll help” Miss Visage insists not moving it away until Rosé takes it from her. Then she rounds her desk to sit on the other side. “Why are you here?” she cuts straight down to it, though her voice is kind.

“School day” Rosé answers flatly. “I’m legally obligated.”

“Legally obligated within reason” Miss Visage corrects. “You have a justified excuse not to be.”

“I want to be.”

“Today it’s not the place for you.” Miss Visage takes Rose’s answer as her being smart with her rather than for the truth that it is. “You should be at home.”

Rosé scoffs and looks away.

“With everything going on, do you really think you’ll be able to focus on what you’re learning?”

Rosé shakes her head and sets her jaw to stop from biting anything back.

“Then why are you here?”

Rosé pulls in a sharp breath, setting the icepack down on the desk and pushing her chair out. “What was I supposed to do?” She turns back around after taking a few steps away. Not caring how her voice is raised. “No one told me what to do!”

Miss Visage stays silent, listening calmly.

“Maybe I just wanted somewhere normal to go, because I don’t want to be at home” Rosé’s voice quietens as tears spill from her eyes. “When I left this morning, my mum was still out, drunk, on the couch. And I had no idea what she’d do when she woke up, but I didn’t want to be there to find out.

“So maybe I came here because although I hate it most days, it’s somewhere I actually feel safe.” Rosé brushes away her tears, her shoulders slumping in defeat. “But if I chose wrong, I didn’t know any better… because I didn’t know where else to go.”

There are a few uneasy seconds of silence before Miss Visage pushes her chair out. Wordlessly she moves over to Rosé and wraps her arms around her and though Rosé starts off tense, she soon relaxes into them.

“I’m sorry… I shouldn’t speak to you like that” Rosé’s voice is broken up through sobs.

“It’s okay” Miss Visage assures, gently tightening the hold she has on her. “I know the difference between stress and anger.”

Rosé nods and hums weakly.

“Come on, let’s sit back down” Miss Visage suggests, feeling Rosé shaking where she stands. Guiding her back to the chair and moving the box of tissues on the desk closer to her reach. Giving her a few moments to clean herself up and settle enough to catch her breath. “If you don’t want to be home for today, is there anywhere else that you could go?”

“I can think of a few places.”

“Do you need to call anyone to pick you up?” Miss Visage looks to the phone on her desk.

Rosé shakes her head.

“I’m going to let you go. You check up on those, okay?”

Rosé nods as she stands from her chair.

“And Rosé?” her teacher’s voice has her turning around before she can reach for the door handle. “If you can’t find anywhere, this door is open.”

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

She’s not as invisible as she wants to be while people file out of classrooms and into the hallways. Still, no one seems to pay her much mind, too focused on their way, as she leans against the wall across from a doorway.

Stepping out of the room, Denali spots her first with Rosé’s eyes cast down to the floor.

“Hey, oh my God!” She immediately wraps her arms around her, holding on maybe too tightly. “I’m so worried about you.”

Rosé takes in a couple of unsteady breaths before she hesitantly asks, “Nali? How important are your next classes?”

Denali unburies her head from Rosé’s shoulder, looking up at her attentively.

“I just really need someone right now.”

“I’m yours. I’m all yours” Denali says, fitting herself back into a hug. Taking a few moments before she pulls back again. “Come on, let’s go.”

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Denali has never thought about how weird it is to hear someone breathing until now. Listening to Rosé breathing unevenly as they walk beside each other. Shaky little gasps pulling in air before she steadies herself with a deeper breath, then the cycle repeats again.

“Hey” she says softly, squeezing her grip on the hand she holds. “Do you want to stop? We can sit down at the park up ahead?” she suggests, not liking how tense Rosé seems.

Rosé only looks at her quickly before she shakes her head.

“Are you sure?”

Rosé nods and purses her lips in a tight smile that is anything but reassuring.

“Do you want to talk now? I can listen as we go” Denali offers.

“I—” Rosé’s voice immediately catches in a choked off sob. Then she pulls in another one of her steadying breaths before another. “I don’t know what to say yet.”

“Okay” Denali accepts softly. “I’ll be right here when you’re ready.”

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

For all Rosé fought to keep herself in check, a few tears had already fallen from her eyes by the time they had reached Denali’s driveway. She’d brushed them away immediately but that didn’t mean that Denali hadn’t seen them.

“Let me take your bag Rosie” Denali says once they step inside, helping her to sling it off her back. Setting it down against the wall as her mother stands from where she had been seated at the kitchen table.

Chamilla says nothing as she walks over to them, but the look on her face expresses concern and she opens her arms out for Rosé to step into.

More tears stream down Rosé’s cheeks and her arms shake as she wraps them back around her. Sobs muffling into her shoulder.

Away from them, Denali sets down her own bag and hangs back. Catching her mother’s questioning glance over Rosé’s shoulder, she shakes her head because she doesn’t have an explanation yet.

Then Chamilla draws in a breath as she pulls back from Rosé, running her fingers over her hair to tuck a few strands behind her ear. “Let’s sit down.”

Rosé nods weakly and lets them guide her into the lounge and onto the couch. The three of them packing tightly in a group with her in the middle.

By the time they’ve arranged themselves more comfortably, Rosé has settled herself again. Though not enough that it’s easy for her to speak.

“My dad lost his job…” she trails off, the rest of the words getting stuck in her throat before she forces them out, “and he’s at the police station.”

Beside her Denali flinches a little and her arms hold her tighter. Though both her and her mother remain quiet, their questions obvious enough to answer.

For a while Rosé can’t do it. Struggling on remembering how to breathe properly, her chest feeling too tight to let her.

“He nearly put a guy in hospital… he… he just snapped on his way out and his old workmates called the cops. They took him in and they’re holding him until this afternoon.”

“Do you know what will happen next?” Chamilla asks gently.

Rosé shakes her head, looking down at her hands as she pulls them into her sleeves.

“It depends on whether the workplace or the family want to press charges. And if they” – Rosé pulls in a shaky breath – “and if they do… I don’t want to have to testify and say that he would never normally do something like this. When I’ve known my whole life that he would.”

“Sweetheart, at this point it’s still an if” Chamilla reassures. “Going to court is expensive and it’s risky, they might not want to take up on it. And I think that they’ll be able to see that he wasn’t in his right mind. So, don’t you worry about that just yet.”

Rosé nods hesitantly before her expression changes and she shakes her head, another tear rolling down her cheek. “I wouldn’t be one to talk anyway, not after what I did.”

“That wasn’t your fault” Denali objects immediately.

“Dad beat someone up and I’ve just done the same thing” Rosé sobs, only just connecting what she’s done.

“Rosie, they asked for it” Denali promises. “You’re going through enough. You can’t put that on yourself.”

“I’m… I…” Rosé starts to protest before she changes the direction of what she was saying entirely, “I’m scared.”

At the weak admission both pairs of arms shift tighter around her. Denali making gentle shushing noises as she leans her head against her. Both her and her mother letting Rosé ramble incoherently as she cries. Listening as best they can as she tells them how she’s worried that her dad won’t get another job and he’ll stay at home doing nothing or they’ll have to move cities for him to get a new start: and she doesn’t want to move. It’s when her talking stops and she still isn’t settling down that their worry starts to grow.

“Nali?” Chamilla softly calls across to her. “Do you still have your Rescue Remedy?”

Denali nods, thinking of the tiny bottle she keeps in her skating bag to take before competitions. Then knowing she needs to get it; she traces a gentle hand down Rosé’s arm and moves away to find it.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

A minute later with the bottle in her hand, Denali crouches back in front of Rosé, her fingers unscrewing the lid.

“Rosie, this isn’t going to knock you out, but it will help calm you down. Is that okay?” Chamilla checks, rubbing a hand against her shoulder to help her focus in.

Rosé nods and shifts to sit up straighter, drying tears from her face with her sleeves.

“Open up, Rosie” Denali instructs softly. Moving closer and reaching gentle fingers out to Rosé’s jaw to steady herself as she measures out a couple of drops onto her tongue. Then she moves her hands away and caps the bottle again.

“Deep breaths, my love” Chamilla says, guiding Rosé back into her shoulder as Denali hops back onto the couch.

As Rosé takes them, she starts to settle and her eyes blink slowly as she’s left worn out.

“Why don’t you go lie down for a bit? Have some quiet time?” Chamilla suggests softly.

Rosé isn’t allowed an answer before Denali has helped her up off the couch and wrapped an arm around her.

Everything Denali does for her is gentle. The loose but sure support of the arm she has behind her waist, not breaking away for a second aside from turning the tap on and off as she pours Rosé a glass of water. Her arm reattaching around her as Rosé drinks and her fingers tracing patterns into her side.

The gentle touch of her hands after she sits Rosé down in the bathroom to wash the tear stains from her face with a cloth warmed from the sink.

Then the gentle smile she gives Rosé as she helps her up again to lead her to her room and settle her into bed.

“I’ll just put these over by the chair, okay Rosie?” Even her voice is gentle as she takes Rosé’s jacket to hang over the back of the desk chair and sets her shoes down beneath it. She hadn’t bothered to find Rosé a new set of clothes, figuring that it wasn’t worth the hassle of changing her out of clothes that are already comfortable enough to sleep in.

Then as Denali turns back to the bed, her mother steps into the room.

“Here Rosie, hold onto this. It’ll keep you nice and warm” Chamilla says, handing over a hot water bottle which Rosé takes from her with a hint of a smile. “Sleep well, love. Let us know if there is anything else we can get you.” Chamilla smiles back warmly before she leans down to kiss Rosé on the forehead and leaves the room.

“Can I get you anything else Rosie?” Denali checks as she climbs on the bed behind her.

Rosé shakes her head. Her eyes blink slowly again but she doesn’t give in to sleep, instead she seems distracted. Then she pulls in a breath before she starts, “Nali, I—”

“Shhh. Just rest” Denali stops her. “You’ll feel better after you get some sleep.”

For a few seconds Rosé holds her mouth open to speak again until she closes it with a sigh, her eyes at last falling shut.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Looking down at her fingers still stroking through Rosé’s hair, Denali realises she has no idea how long she’s been zoned out for. Doesn’t even know what she was thinking about either.

Below her Rosé looks deep enough asleep that she isn’t likely to wake up if Denali moves, as long as she is careful. So, Denali risks it, slowly slipping off the bed and creeping over to the doorway. Sparing Rosé one last glance when she stops beneath it, seeing that she hasn’t moved an inch, and despite everything she looks peaceful. Enough that Denali almost wants to stay with her and pretend that they’re having a sleepover and when Rosé wakes up, they’ll watch movies, do each other’s hair and gossip like normal kids their age would do. But Rosé’s life isn’t normal, and Denali has a question to ask.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

It was a mistake for her to look at the clock on the wall as she walked down the stairs, because it only made Denali more nervous. Especially seeing that the time is only around 11:00.

“How is she?” Chamilla asks from amongst her work at the kitchen table.

“She’s out” Denali says and means to keep talking but her speech stalls. Then she leans against the kitchen wall, crossing her arms and taking a steadying breath. “I don’t want to go back to school. I just don’t want to leave her.” She shakes her head. “I know it’s basically wasting a day – but I just don’t.”

“Nali” Chamilla sighs, pushing her chair out from the table and opening out her arms for Denali to fit into.

Pushing herself off the wall, Denali quietly moves over. Sitting down on her mother’s lap and letting her arms wrap around her.

“I’m not going to make you go back” Chamilla speaks into her hair before she places a kiss against her head. “Not today when you should be with her.”

Denali visibly relaxes at her mother’s words and leans her head onto her shoulder in thanks.

“If you know what you’re working on, try and get some of that done if you can focus on it” Chamilla compromises. “But otherwise, just be willing to catch up over the next few days.”

Denali nods but doesn’t lift her head. For a while she doesn’t say anything either, until holding back the words starts to sting in her throat. “Mum, I don’t know what to do.”

Chamilla hums and holds her closer.

“I don’t know how to help her this time.” Denali sniffles as a tear falls.

“I wish I could tell you, but I don’t know either” Chamilla admits. “But I don’t think Rosé expects us to know how to.”

“I’m just so scared for her” Denali sobs.

“I know, I know” her mother soothes, rubbing a hand over her shoulder. “But there’s nothing we can do right now except wait.”

“I want it to be fixed now.”

“We all do” Chamilla sighs. “For now, just listen to her and reassure her as best you can.”

“I was going to do that anyway.”

Chamilla releases their hold and pulls back with an encouraging smile. “Then nothing has to change, does it?”

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

It was hard to read her textbook in the dim light of the room, but if Denali squinted she could make out the words enough to understand them. Now after a page and a half of her science work, she looks over to Rosé as she shifts beside her.

“Why don’t you just turn a light on?” Rosé asks, opening her eyes to find Denali with her book held close to her face.

“I didn’t want to wake you up” Denali reasons.

Rosé only hums as she reaches out to turn on Denali’s lamp.

Denali smiles affectionately but sets her book aside. “How are you feeling?”

Rosé sighs deeply, her eyes closing for a long second. “I don’t want to be awake right now.”

“You can go back to sleep” Denali advocates.

Rosé only shakes her head and stretches out a little more. “Can’t really sleep until it’s all over, can I?”

“I guess not” Denali concedes.

Then they fade into silence and a few seconds go by before Denali frowns. She hadn’t really left the conversation open for a necessary response, but she thought Rosé would have at least made some kind of noise or something. Instead, she stays quiet, just staring at the ceiling.

“What are you thinking about?” Denali asks softly.

“He said I was going to end up in a cell” Rosé doesn’t look at her as she says it.

Still, Denali shuts her eyes so Rosé can’t see them roll back at the stupid comment Jeffery made that morning. “You won’t.”

“How do you know?”

“How do you know you will?”

“Don’t use logic with me, Denali” Rosé begs, finally looking at her.

“I’m going to use logic when you tell yourself silly things” Denali smiles at her tenderly.

“We look the same, you know?” Rosé speaks of her father. “Sometimes I see my reflection and it’s like he is the one staring back.”

“You share the same genetics, Rosie. It doesn’t mean you’re the same person” Denali assures. “You are so far from the same person.”

Rosé’s lips pull into a grateful smile, but it doesn’t last longer than a second as her eyes well with tears again.

“Come here.” Denali pats a hand on her lap so Rosé knows to rest her head on it.

A tear blinking loose as Rosé settles on it. “Can you promise me that it’ll be alright?”

“You know I can’t do that, Rosie” Denali tells her softly, stroking her fingers through her hair. “You know I won’t promise you something that I don’t know.”

Rosé sighs deeply but she still relaxes despite being given no reassurance.

“But whatever happens, we’ll help you through it” Denali assures. “That’s a promise I can make.”

#rpdr fanfiction #rosénali #rosenali #rosé #denali #safe house au #hurt/comfort #angst