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bluetimeombre · 2 months

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✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧ And I wouldn't marry me, either part 2

You were Azriel's mate, but it took losing you three times for him to realise.

[thank you for the love on part one, I’m so happy Azriel is getting the love he deserves!!!! This is another long one, another 6k. But I’ve learnt a new love for writing about him and i have so many ideas. This is a continuation and final part, part one here. Enjoy]

warnings: references to sexual assault and references to suicide. nothing explicit but please don't read if this is sensitive to you.

The third time Azriel almost lost you, he was pretty sure he lost a part of himself.

They'd all gone into battle, knowing that Hybern had the numbers to match and the advantage. But they'd all gone to fight in spite of that.

It had took some time for you to get the boys to agree to let you fight- you'd trained and grew up with all three of them but this was fighting on another scale. Although, if they were going, there really wasn't much they could say to get you to stay.

You were clad in Illyrian leathers just like them, armed with weapons and power.

The first battle was over quicker than you'd anticipated. Hybern soldiers surrendered, Tarquin drowned them on land. You'd suffered little, only falling on bed exhausted by the end of the day. Sadly, you were sharing a tent with Cassian and Azriel. It was like you were young again, all sleeping in the same room. It was a habit you'd done when you were young- all looking out and protecting each other.

The only difference was that Cassian snored as he got older.

But the next battle was worse.

It was bigger than last. Hybern's forces had doubled, seemingly at of nowhere, cutting their forces apart.

It was chaos, everywhere. Every corner there was fighting and bleeding and dying. There was pain all around you. Pain you felt like it was your own.

You used all your power, as much as you could to kill and protect. From the corner of your eyes you could see Azriel fight. Your Azriel, weaving in and out of people. Your mate. He was alive. And that was all you cared about.

But you didn't realise how much you'd been pushing herself and draining your power. Every time you stopped, you swayed on your feet, stumbling.

One of Hyberns men came for you as you were crouched and you barley blocked with your sword, rolling onto your back and slashing his arm off.

Not before he landed a sword in your thigh.

It had been deep burning and you yelled, yanking it out. Even with the wound, you kept fighting and fighting your way through until you saw a blaze of red and a familiar cry.

Cassian.

He'd been run through.

It was easy to push past exhaustion and winnow to his side, killing the man who'd been near him and any others that had been close enough. You fall to your knees next to him. 'Cassian, you prick.'

'You kiss your mate with that mouth,' he gasped. He was the only one who knew about Az and the bond. The only one you'd allow to make jokes.

You look down to his wound and gaged. Mother above, his guts were hanging out. 'No, no, no, come on, big guy, you have to stand.'

He groaned. 'Yea, don't think I can do that, sweetheart,' his eyes, lulled back.

You slap him in the face. Perhaps you wouldn't have felt guilt if it weren't for the way his eyes widened. 'You know I hate being called that.'

He laughed as his stomach and all its contents heaved out. Ignoring the pain in you, you hold his stomach, keeping him together. 'I promised Nesta i'd look after her,' he said. 'Please look after her.'

'Do it yourself,' you groaned.

Finally, Azriel came to your side and picked Cassian up like it was nothing, flying him to the tents. If only you still had your wings, you could have done it, saved him quicker.

Then, you were thrown back into the battle. Covered in his blood and yours, you fought through them all, slashing and killing like it was nothing. Like you had no reason to bat an eyelash at anything happening.

Eventually, it ended, but you couldn't even concentrate on who won or how much you'd lost. Your head ached, your leg was tied up in a bloody bandage ripped from your clothes. But none of that mattered.

Cassian was in bed, healing slowly. But he would live, everyone could tell. Especially with the way he picked fights. He argued with Rhys about throwing himself into danger, him and Nesta appeared to be having words with their eyes. Even Mor and Feyre argued. You were the only one silent with Azriel in the back. Too exhausted to even open your mouth.

That night, you tied up your wounds and fell asleep without changing.

It only got worse.

Elain- Feyre's sister and the most precious- was stolen from Hybern. You had only agreed to go and save her with a few selected others because your mate was in that few selective others.

It hadn't escaped your notice how he looked at her, was watchful over her like he once was with you. You saw the tick in his jaw at the news she was gone. You knew that this was the reason you hadn't told him. Knowing that he deserved someone like her, better than you. Kind and hopeful. You weren't. So the only thing you could do was watch your mate find love in someone else.

And you'd do it grudgingly but happy for him.

Azriel had took of with her. You and your high lady fought, fought through ash arrows and everything.

'You should get out of her, y/n,' said Feyre.

You groaned as an arrow skimmed your shoulder. Another had already got your hip. 'If you try to order me out of here, i'll be really pissed off at you.'

'I don't care if it gets you out!' she snapped, arguing like a real sister would.

'Yea, well- I was never one to listen to Rhys either.'

And Azriel was gone. Everything was fine.

You and Feyre ran, ran even as Tamlin defended you, ran until-

An arrow hit you in the back, straight to one of your old wing scars.

You tumbled, rolling on the ground as it broke and imbedded in your back. You screamed, in spite of yourself.

'You have to fly,' someone was telling you. Or saying it in general, frankly you had no idea what was going on. 'You have to take her.'

You rolled onto your stomach, groaning and trying to get yourself up. There was blood running down your arm, how did that get there?

'Y'n.'

You groaned, 'Azriel. I can't fly.'

'I know, I know- i've got you.' He picked you up, arm under your legs and around your shoulders.

'Elian, Azriel-'

'Feyre has her,' he told you. He sounded angry. Or afraid. Somehow his emotions were very easy to mix up.

'Feyre isn't strong enough.'

'She'll have to be.'

'You should take them, Elian-'

'I don't give a fuck about Elian right now, y'n.'

Just like that, he took off with you in his arms and your blood raining down on the camp of Hybern. You could barley hear anything over the wind... but you could feel it.

Something had tugged painfully at the bond, throwing you into a scream. Something had happened to Azriel. You twisted in his arms, finding gashing claw marks in his back from one of the hounds that had chased them down. His face was bleached white in pain, his hold on you tight.

Glancing around, you could just see Feyre in a blur of people.

'Azriel-' you gasped. He was in pain, so much pain.

He didn't say anything, just squeezed you tighter and looking ahead, barking orders as Feyre flew for the first time in need, in desperation. You remembered what that was like, trusting your life in them. But Azriel's wings, they were bleeding out. You remembered the pain. You'd go through it every day to spare him a minute of it.

✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧

You and Azriel landed back in the camp in a blur of pain.

Even with him leaving a trail of blood, he managed to set you down like you were porcelain. You didn't cry out. You didn't yell for help. You threw his arm over your shoulder and supported him.

Nesta and Rhys rushed to Feyre.

You hated your brother for a long moment.

Elain wondered over, chained but whole.

Azriel moved from you, checking on Elian. You only managed to watch them as she kissed his cheek.

The pain came to you then. Your head, shoulder, back. You turned from the crowd of family. Elain moved to hug her sister, Rhys stayed at Feyre's side.

Thesan, someone you barley knew as more than a healer, came to you first but you pushed him away, pushed him to Azriel. 'His wings. Heal him, or i'll rip you to pieces.'

He didn't have to be told twice.

You stumbled your way to camp, to your little tent. You didn't share it with Cassian anymore as he was still healing and Azriel would be a while- needing healing of your own.

You collapsed on the bed, promising to look after yourself- just after your nap.

You were so fast asleep you didn’t even hear Azriel come in and sigh at the sight of you…

✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧

Azriel was fighting when it happened. Specifically, when it snapped.

Mate. Mate. Mate.

No, he wasn't completely healed. But he had to fight. He wouldn't push himself, he knew that would be stupid. But he wouldn't watch as everyone fought. As you fought. He'd hardly seen you. He knew your back would be in pain. He knew you'd be in pain and you were still fighting, so far from him and out of reach.

He was thinking of you when it snapped.

Mate. Mate. Mate.

His soul sang it, his heart rose with it.

His shadows whispered it.

Mate. Mate. Mate.

y/n.

And the first thing he felt over the bond wasn't happiness or love. It was pain. It was death.

Mate. Mate. Mate.

In spite of the pain in his wings, how he'd been told not to fly, he did. He jumped into the skies, soaring over armies and dead to find you. He followed that pain, he followed the bond until he found you.

You, lying in your own blood. Again.

He fell next to you, his power eradicating anywhere near you. They dissovled, the ground cracked under him and his syphons shone in raw power.

'y/n?' he held your body, shaking you. Blood, so much. A sword had torn through your gut. 'Don't do this to me.'

Mate. Mate. Mate.

You cough, a thin stream of blood rolling from your lips. 'Azriel?'

'You're mine,' it was the first thing he could bring himself to say. 'You're my mate. Y/n. You have to hold on, ok? I'm gonna-gonna get you to safety.'

Something like a laugh escaped you, your body wracking with it. 'Of course, finally snaps for you as i'm dying.'

Snaps for you. Mate. Mate.

She knows, his shadows sung. She's known.

Azriel called out to Rhys in every way he could. 'We're gonna be fine. We're gonna be mates, y/n. You have to live, you understand?'

'Not really.' your eyes flutter shut.

'No!' he yelled, shaking you again.

'What's happened?' Rhysand landed next to him, blanking when he saw you in Azriel's arms, bleeding to death. How many times did this have to happen? How many times would you throw yourself into danger?

'She's my mate,' Azriel repeated. He tested it out loud, speaking it to the mother. How cruel was she? to give him this then try to take her away. Well, the mother wouldn't get that chance. Azriel would fight her if she tried to lay a hand on your life.

'What?' said Rhys.

'My mate,' he all but growled as Rhys got closer.

He put a hand on the back of Azriels neck, a hand on your head. 'We have to save her, Az.' he knew all about mating of course, knew that Azriel wanted nobody around her. But this was too save her. 'She's my sister too, the last sister I have. I care about her to.'

Azriel wanted to throw a thousand insults his way but refrained. If not because he was high lord, but also because you were dying.

They got you to safety, Azriel carrying you through to a tent.

'Y/n?!' Cassian rushed over, seeing you in his brothers arms, bleeding out and unresponsive.

Azriel pushed past him, setting you down on the bed. 'Get everyone, every healer now.' He had no idea who he was trying to demand, but he couldn’t watch this, couldn’t see you in.

You were still in your bed. Behind him, Feyre rushed to her mate, wrapping her arms around his torso as your brother stared at you in muted horror.

Azriel was leaning over you, sitting on the edge of the bed. ‘She’s my mate.'

'What?' Said Cassian, ‘She told you?'

Azriel felt the world stop around him. Not did you know about the bond and hadn’t told him, you’d told someone else? Cassian? His hand stilled in brushing your hair back, his shadows coaxing you instead.

Rhysand spoke what Azriel wanted to scream. 'You knew?'

'She-She told me,'

Azriel had always had an iron fist control on his emotions, as relied on to be spy master, he had to. But his patience was hanging on by a thread. You were still bleeding out and nobody had come and Cassian knew. Cassian knew about his mate before he did.

His shadows caressed you and, leaving you in the coolness of their touch, he leapt up, marching around the bed toward him.

Rhys was quicker, a hand on Azriels chest to stop him. 'Calm, brother.'

'Calm?' He seethed. 'When-how long have you known?' He shouted.

Cassian breathed out, pushing his hair back . His wings were tucked in behind him. 'She told me, before she went under the mountain.'

Even Rhysand let him go, blowing out air and throwing his arms over his head as Feyre gasped.

Azriel stumbled, a hand to his chest. His shadows were divided between him and caring for you. 'Fifty years,' he gasped.

You’d known for fifty years- possibly longer and hadn’t said a word.

He was panicking, his breath escaping him. His shadows settled uneasy around him. And the only person who was capable of calming him was laying unconscious.

Thesan burst in, knowing the injured already and working on you quickly.

Azriel almost launched at him, just for touching you. The reasonable part of him knew he needed to touch to heal, but the part that was your mate wanted him dead.

Cassian held him back, physically.

Azriel glowered at him. 'I wouldn’t touch me if i were you, brother,' he practically spat the words.

Rhysand left Feyre with a kiss on her cheek, coming to Azriel who was looking over you on the other side. 'Az, you need to rest-you’re hurt, too, remember?'

He shook his head, staring down at you. Mother above you were pale, so pale. 'I-I can’t feel anything Rhys, I can’t feel her through the bond.'

'My sister is a fighter, she’ll make it through.'

Azriel scoffed. His shadows were caressing up and down your arm. ‘Don’t pretend you’ve ever cared about her like a brother.'

Rhysand inhaled sharply. This was just fear, he told himself. 'Azriel.'

'No,' he said, his finger brushing back your hair. 'You only care about her when she’s dying and all y/n does is worship you- ever since you were children.'

Cassian tried to advance, 'Azriel, you wouldn’t be saying any of this if y/n wasn’t hurt.'

He laughed, bitterly. 'No, I wouldn’t. I wouldn’t have to. I’d bite my tongue. But your sister is dying and the last time you cared was the last time she almost died- it killed her to lose her wings and you were never there! And you teach your mate to fly right in front of her!'

Rhys growled. ‘Don’t bring my mate into this!'

‘You’ve brought mine into this!' He yelled. 'Everything she does is for you. Working for you. My mate followed you down to the mountain even when you didn’t care.'

'Of course I cared.'

'Then why did she feel so alone down there!'

‘How would you know, Azriel? You weren’t there!'

'Because I know her, bond or not. And you’ve been otherwise occupied.'

Cassian moved between the two, holding them apart. 'None of this matters to y/n does it.'

Azriel blankes them all, settling next to you. He vaguely heard Cassian send Rhysand and Feyre away. He felt him longer before he felt him leave.

And then all Azriel could feel, was you.

✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧

You felt pain first. The steady thumping of it through your body. It started in your leg, numbing it. Then, her back ached- a familiar pain you'd felt before. It sent panic through you before you realised they can't take your wings twice.

Then, it was in your gut, stinging. Just the thought of moving was hurting- aching.

There was a coldness around you, draped over like shadows. Shadows...

That's when you felt the tug that you'd neglected to feel for more than half a century.

The bond. There was finally something tied to the other end.

The shadows around you must've known you were awake as they grew frantic around you.

You opened your eyes, slowly, afraid to what you may see. Afraid to the eyes you'll have to meet.

Azriel was sat on a chair next to you, bare chested with only bandages around him. Immediately, you were at a disadvantage. He was looking at you, dark eyes pouring into yours as his hands curled around shadows.

'What happened?' you asked.

'You were run through,' he said, voice wavering.

'Oh.'

'You're my mate.'

Your eyes flickered away, staring at your tent. 'Oh.'

'That's it?' he whispered. There was some heart-break tainting his voice. 'You're not gonna say something?'

You pulled the blanket over you, daring to move to sit up. He shifted, but his shadows helped you. 'What do you want me to say, Az?'

'Why did you tell Cassian and not me?' he asked. 'Why didn't you tell me, for fifty years?'

'It's-it's not a big deal.'

'Not a big deal?' he all but seethed. 'I'd say finding your mate is a pretty big thing, y/n. It's the person to spend the rest of your life with.'

'Can we not, do this now?' you winced, as the words left your mouth.

'You're right, maybe we should wait another fifty years to bring it up when you're dying.' you've never heard him be so cruel, you'd never even argued with him before this.

'I wasn't dying,' you mumbled.

He scoffed. 'You had an infected wound in your leg that you didn't tell anyone about. An ash arrow was imbedded in your back. Imbedded! You didn't see anyone about it and then- you run into battle and get yourself stabbed.'

'I didn't get myself stabbed!' you argued, your temper rising above all other judgment. 'I didn't rush out in there, wanting to die!'

'I held you as you bled out!' he yelled, standing up from his seat. You were swinging your legs over the bed, ignoring every twinge in your body. 'Do you have any idea what that's like? Not even to hold you as you die in my arms the first time but the second. And to know this time, I was holding my mate?'

You bit down on your lip. He had to use the word with such care and love even when angry. You could feel it. For once, guessing his emotions wasn't needed as you felt it all. The taunt anger in him, the pull of anxiety and above all else, the weight of his love.

Azriel walked around you. 'Please, you have to tell me. Why didn't you say something to me? Why wouldn't you tell me you're my mate? Am I that repulsive to you?'

'What?'

He gulped.

You shook your head as he knelt in front of you, shadows pooled around the two of you, as if they were trying to hold the two of you together. You took his hands, holding them and let something like love flow down the bond. 'You are the most beautiful thing in this world. Something better than me. I wouldn't burden you with that.'

He rose his gaze to you. 'Burden me?'

'Do you think i've enjoyed lying to you?' you ask, finally finding your words. 'Do you think I've liked being your mate and never being with you? That I left you for fifty years and thought of you every moment of every day, all day long. That when I come back I wonder if you or Mor had grown closer? Or if Elian would finally tell you how much she loves you? It's been eating me alive. But it's a small price to pay.'

Azriel grasped at his words, chocking on them. 'Elian is nothing to me, nothing.'

You pushed yourself up, using his shoulder to steady yourself before you move around him. 'Why? Have you only just decided that because I’m your mate? That’s not how it should go, Azriel.'

He was following you around your tent as you slipped on armour and leathers over your night dress. ‘I want you, only you.'

'Because of the bond?'

'Because I’ve always only wanted you!'

You laugh. 'No, you haven’t.'

'If we’d talked about this maybe fifty years ago you’d know that!'

You shook your head. Perhaps a part of you didn't want to believe him and all those wasted years at your fault, but you didn't want to believe his words either. Because what did that mean? That he loved you and wanted you. But that seemed just as impossible to you. How could he want someone so wrecked who'd done nothing but run away from her feelings and does nothing to make anyone happy?

'I don't want you to feel like that,' said Azriel, approaching her. She thought she'd spoken aloud before she realised he could feel everything that was hers. She'd only ever had to shield her thoughts from her brother- and he rarely sort her thoughts. 'Please, please-' he took your shoulders, turning you around and gently resting his head on yours.

You could feel his warm breath over your lips. You almost lost all resolve, with him that close. You'd never been so close to him, close enough to touch. To kiss. To know finally what it mean to have that deep connection that everyone was meant for.

One person in the whole world to belong to.

And he was stuck with her.

'Azriel-'

'Whatever you're thinking about yourself, i've thought about me a thousand times. And ever since we were kids you've always stopped me from thinking that. You've always told me what I was worth,' he whispered. His hands were wondering down your arms, sending shivers down you. He could've been doing it on purpose, distracting you. 'Why won't you accept it for yourself?'

You gulped down every uneasy thought. 'Because you're good, Az and i'm-'

'You're everything.'

'I'm not,' you look up at him, his own face blurry from your tears unwilling to fall. 'I'm not a fighter, i'm afraid of pain. And I could never be a leader, because i'm scared of losing people. I'm terrified about it half the time. Why do you think I followed Rhys down to that stupid party that I knew I wouldn't come back from? Because he'd do the same for me? We both know he wouldn't. But what would losing him mean for you? or Cass, or Mor? I was a coward and I wanted to hide from all the pain his leaving would have caused.'

Azriel shook his head, words sinking in. You were comparing yourself, to warriors like him and Cass, to the high lord- your own brother. 'It was unbearable without you. Maybe if it was just Rhysand i'd have still been able to be spymaster, because that's what he needed. But when I realised you'd gone to, it ruined me,' he admitted. 'I didn't care what you would've wanted, because you weren't here to tell me.'

You rub at your forehead, the tension creating a pain in your already aching body.

'And to anyone who made you feel inferior or worthless, i'll kill them,' he said. It was a shine of the real Azriel. The one who made a promise and never broke it.

You smirk. 'Can't kill the high lord.'

'No,' huffed Azriel, like it was a mild inconvenience. 'But I sure can punch him in the face.'

You laughed at that and Azriel smiled. He'd cracked you.

But your amusement dropped quickly, he felt it like a penny dropping. He let go of you as you turned away, wiping at your eyes. He didn't want to see you cry, didn't want to be the one to make you upset. He only wanted to make you feel loved.

'This isn't how I wanted this to go.'

Azriel suddenly felt conscious of himself. Maybe this wasn't so much about what you felt, maybe it was more about what you felt toward him. 'You really hate the mating bond that much?'

You look over to him. 'Being your mate is my greatest honour. But I don't want you to love me just because you have to.'

'It's not that-'

'And I know you're gonna keep saying that.'

'Until you believe me,' he assured her. 'Even if I have to tell you every day until I die.'

'I can't ask you to do that.'

He smiled at you, a heart-breaking smile of love. 'You haven't.'

You open your mouth to say something, but you're interrupted by Cassain poking his head through the tent flaps. The rest of his whole body was hidden, only showing his bronze face and hair framing him. There was a sheepish smile on his lips.

Azriel huffed. 'Cassian.'

'What? It didn't sound like much love making going on.'

'Mother above,' you sighed.

'What?' whined Cassian. 'I'm just saying, didn't sound like I was interrupting anything.'

'Personally I didn't know he was capable of saying that many words,' said another voice, familiar and dull. Nesta.

You frown. 'I'm sorry, is the whole camp out there.' You storm out, without Azriel to stop you.

He let you get away, again, and now there was no way he'd get you to accept the bond until the battle was done.

✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧

The next time you and Azriel spoke, the war was over.

Elian had stabbed Hybern, Nesta had delivered the killing blow, to the head. And your brother had died.

For those few minutes of his death you wanted Feyre weep for him as you stood paralyzed, unable to move. This was the brother you worshiped, the one you’d follow to the end of the world. Did he know that when he went where you could not follow?

Feyre had done everything she could, she begged for his life back. And when her wish was granted, you were collapsing on his other side. Tears of joy in your eyes that Rhys wiped away.

Your family, safe.

Everyone seemed happy to return to Velaris. Home. Scars were left over everyone, fears and pains. Some wore them better than others.

You'd thrown yourself into life. And avoiding Azriel. Suddenly there were many friends you'd neglected that you needed to take dinner with, or so many spontaneous Rita nights with Nesta.

And none of it escaped his notice. The steady thump of the bond still thrived inside of you, his shadows followed everywhere you went, even loitering in your room.

If he was doing it in an attempt to annoy you, then you weren't gonna break first.

After a particularly harrowing Rita's night, the only thing you wanted to do was sleep in for the rest of the day, hide away from everyone and everything. Call it your coping mechanism.

Alas, there was no peace as your curtains were thrown open, light spilling in and burning through your eyelids.

'Knock it off!' the shadows had never bothered with waking you up before- it seemed they'd picked the worst time to start.

'We need to talk,' said a voice that certainly wasn't a shadow.

Rhysand.

You groan, rolling over. 'Can't you talk to me when i'm not hungover.'

'And when would that be, sister? you're getting as bad as Nesta.'

You throw your pillow off and at him, but he dodged it easily and with a smug smile. 'I hate it when you call me that.'

'What? When I compare you to Nesta? Clean up your act then.' He stood over your bed, his arms folded over his chest.

You glare at him. 'I meant sister.' You shuffled up, brushing your hair back.

Rhysand frowned and perched himself on the edge of your bed. There was something he wasn't saying, and you watched it weight heavy on his shoulders. 'You know the last time I was in your room you were throwing glasses at me and yelling at me to get out.'

'Well, don't give me ideas.'

His lips curled into a smile of amusement before he turned solemn again. 'Do you love me, y/n?'

You hadn't expected that. Your hangover could only get worse, your head swimming with possibilities as to why he was asking. And nervous, you were nervous. Maybe you'd never said you loved him out loud but surely your actions were enough of a tell. 'You're my high lord and my brother, of course.' you shrug it off, as if it was nothing.

The shadows trailed up the bed, as if sensing your anxiety.

Rhysand glanced over at you. 'Do you think I don't love you?'

You hesitate, chewing at the skin of your gum.

'Because I do. I do love you. You're my little sister, how can I not?' he muttered. 'And I didn't know you felt like that.'

'It was just sort of... obvious,' you said. 'I was never your sister, not really. I always knew that. You'd never see me like that so, I gave up thinking you would. But you're the only family I have.'

'No, I'm not,' he denied. 'Y/n, everyone in this house loves you. They're your family. And i'm sorry- i'm so sorry if my actions have ever made you think different.'

'Why now?' you ask, eyes screwed up looking at him. 'Why are you saying all this now, what's changed?'

He shook his head, strands of his hair- the same as yours- falling over his eyes. 'You almost died, died on that battlefield and I-I wasn't the first one there. Granted, it was your mate that reached you first but I, I wasn't there quick enough.'

You meet his gaze, his purple eyes sad in a way you'd only ever seen under the mountain. 'You died.'

'And as I was dying one of my deepest regrets was not calling you sister enough,' he shifted closer, taking your head in his hands as if you were a little kid. 'You are my sister. Full flesh and blood. Full love of mine. You are my family. After everything you've done for me. You were right, I needed you under there, when there was nothing good to keep me grounded, but you. My little sister.'

You were sure you were tearing up in front of him.

'You'll always be my sister.'

You laugh. 'Maybe I should get stabbed more often.'

'No,' he said seriously. 'I don't think Azriel would like that very much.'

The mention of him changed the tone in conversation, changed the very beating of your heart.

'What's going on with you two?'

'Oh, I see,' you tease, 'talk to me above sister and brotherly relations just to get in my love life. Not a good look on you high lord.'

He laughed. 'No, it's not that. I just care about the two of you, a lot. And you both deserve to be happy. And I think you'd be happiest with each other.'

You look down, twirling the rings on your fingers.

'Would it be so bad to try to love him?'

You shake your head, smiling as a tear rolls down your cheek. 'I don't even have to try. Feels like i've loved him forever.' his shadows climbed up your arm, leaving Rhysand to smile at the affection.

'You'll work it out,' said Rhys, leaning over and kissing the crown of your head.

Your door was thrown open, startling the two of you.

Azriel stood there. For his entrance, he didn't at all seem that confident when he stood in front of the two of you. His hands didn't know how to hold themselves in front of him.

Your brows rose. 'Were you listening at the door?'

'Azriel,' scolded Rhysand with a stupid grin.

'Get dressed,' he said simply to you. 'There's something you need to see.'

Without much room for argument, you kicked them both out and dressed.

You'd grudgingly let Azriel hold your hand as he led you through the woods. You'd winnowed in at an illyrian camp before he took you through it and into the woods close by.

It was the same camp you'd first met Azriel in. The oldest where you'd all become friends. You'd asked what you were doing there, but he was quiet as he led you through, helping you over roots or breaking twigs from the trees so they didn't hit you.

'Azriel, to any other girl, you leading her silently through a woods without saying anything would be a bit suspicious,' you tell him. His shadows trailed behind the two of you and his hand was secure in yours. You knew not to be scared, but you were still cautious.

'I wouldn't show any girl this,' he said.

After another half hour of walking, the two of you stumbled across a small hut. It was a tiny thing really, made out of twigs and sticks, hay and mud. It looked like something a child was capable of making.

Azriel paused in front of it. He let go of you hand and reached for the door. He was as tall as it and his wings had to tuck in tightly behind him.

Hesitantly, you followed in.

It was just as small as it looked and dirty, like it hadn't been touched in years. Cobwebs hung low (his shadows quickly tried to bat them all away for you) there was dirt and hay all over the floor. Glasses were dust filled and left around with a hundred other things. Some looked new, others old.

And yet, strangely familiar.

'I made this place,' said Azriel.

You looked back at him. He was hunched over a large box that was overflowing with things. 'You?'

'The first time my brothers picked on me, I came to these woods, working on this for days. Every time things got too much back then, i'd come here. I've been coming back for years.' he glanced at you, a sheepish look on his face. 'I've never showed anyone this before.'

You look around the place in new perspectives. The shadows settled around the place. You pictured a little Az, running here and hiding from his brothers. Did he feel alone? Did he feel un-loved? You were so enamoured by it you didn't realise he'd settled on the ground, pulling out things from his box.

'This is your glove, the one's you were wearing when we first met. You took them off to beat up some kid who was being mean to me. You didn't go back for them, you didn't even care.'

He said, pulling out a pair of red wool gloves. In spite of the hut, they were in perfect condition. Pristine. You remembered first meeting him, remembered the little soldier who'd been horrible. Those gloves wouldn't go anywhere near your hand now.

Azriel went in again. 'This is the empty glass jar of the cream you used to help my burns. Here's a book you read to me when I couldn't flip the pages myself. The notes you'd leave when you had to go back to camp. The flowers you picked for me and gave me for my birthday. Dried and stamped from every time you gave them to me.'

You stood, in shock as he kept taking things out.

'A terrible drawing I did of you when I was young. A locket of yours that broke and you never wore again. Stamps from our first theatre trip. Empty bottles from our first night together in Rita's- and Cassian's too. A letter you wrote to me when I was on a mission. A black ribbon from your hair, you used to always wear it with these things. Honestly, the amount I have in here,' and he pulled out several, of varying shades. Black, white, grey, red, dark green. All yours.

Azriel wasn't done. 'A page of annotations you did in one of Rhysand's books. A copy of your favourite poems. A coaster from the first time just you and I went to dinner. Here's some stones from when I first taught you to skim them. A quill that I used to use to write you letters. An old ring of yours is here too. Here's the first dagger you got me. It's too precious to me to be used to kill.'

Tears were falling down your cheeks as you watched him pull them all out and explain them in depth. There was more but the sight of it all was becoming blurred through your tears. The bond felt heavy and beautiful in you.

Azriel finally put the box down and fell to his knees in front of you. His hands came around the back of your thighs, holding you there as his eyes looked up into yours. 'Don't you ever think I don't love you, when I have loved you since we were eleven years old.'

You stutter on you breath. 'H-how?'

He rests his head on your stomach, looking utterly at your will and completely in love. 'How could I not?'

Slowly, as you could not move too fast, you settled down on your knees across from him. His hands moved up to your arms as yours went to his cheeks, brushing back his hair.

'It was always going to be you, wasn't it?' you mumbled. 'How could it be anyone else?'

Azriel kissed you then, finally. His lips were as soft as they'd looked, as you'd always imagined. His hands drifted to your waist, finger tips digging into to hold you close. His hands were strong, but his lips were gentle. He pulled away, only to groan in need before reaching for your lips again, harder, desperate.

His teeth bit down on your bottom lip, tongue sliding in to feel every corner of your mouth as his hands wondered around you, trying to grip onto any bit of you he could. Your arms wrapped around his neck, bringing him closer. Close enough to consume, to breath in.

You pulled back enough to catch your breath, arms still around his shoulders. 'Mother above, am I gonna make you the best meal of your life.'

But that could wait. For now, you'd settle for a dusty floor in the little house in the woods.

✩₊��.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧

Taglist: @tothestarsandwhateverend @darlingbravebelle @lil-lupa @haileycannotcometothephantom @fairywriter-oracle @isa1b2h3 @tele86 @thebeautifulmysteriesoflife @unleashthelion @naturakaashi @aurora1115 @sirens-and-moonflowers @azriels-shadowsinger @willowpains @crazylokonugget @abysshaven @anuttellaa @wishfulwithwine @one-big-fangirl @harrystylesfan2686 @charlotteintumbleland @mellowarcadefun @starseedsamurai

#azriel x cassian x reader #azriel x you #azriel x reader #azriel #acotar #rhysand #cassian #nesta archeron #feyre archeron #azriel x oc #azriel x elain #azriel x female!reader #azriel x original character #swifties

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gay-dorito-dust · 2 months

Note

Can we have more of domestic Jason but now with him needy of touch? 🥹

the reader got out of bed early to go drink water and he wakes up from a nightmare needing her and he thinks she left him and he starts crying in panic, but then she appears and calm him down with kisses, words of affirmation and lots of love.

Thank u! I love ur writing btw!!

I don’t know if this is what you have in mind, the ending might be a little half-assed but I was half asleep whilst making this 🦦also thank you for enjoying my writing! It really means a lot!

Your side of the bed had barely gone cold which indicated that it hadn’t been long ago that you had left but it was the reason why you’ve left that haunted Jason, who was fresh out of a nightmare and drenched in his own sweat and finding difficulty in calming his uneven breaths.

He had meant to reach out to you for comfort.

Only to be greeted by air just as palm of his hand then hit the lukewarm mattress below.

It was enough to break Jason’s resolve as his innate belief that everyone he ever cared for was destined to leave him- especially you- began to worsen with every passing second the longer Jason allowed himself to be poisoned by the possibilities that you were gone. Disappeared. Or worse yet; taken.

‘Y/n?’ He calls out softly.

‘Baby?’ He tries again, a little louder this time, not having realised that his eyes had started to tear up and blur his vision of his dark room, or that a lump in his throat had started to form, making it difficult for him to swallow down his overwhelming anxiety.

‘Don’t leave me here…please don’t leave me all lone.’ Jason pleads with the darkness of his room as though that would be enough to give you back to him. ‘Haven’t I done that enough?’ He then asks as he clenched the bedsheets between his powerful hands, trying to bound himself to something to combat his discomfort in being left alone with his mind for too long. ‘Being left alone when I was proven too difficult to save? Too far gone to be helped? Am I just that broken to be given just a sliver of happiness?’ He cries out at he pressed the palms of his hands into his eyes as he chocked back his own sobs.

Despite building himself a strong body that could endure punishment, the pain of that of an broken heart had been so excruciating it had Jason keeling over in bed, wanting nothing more then to tear it out of his chest as though it burned him; Or was it in fact just phantom pains from a heart that had been hollowed out by the hands of another.

The door to the room opened and golden light flooded in, eradicating the darkness that threatened to swallow him whole. ‘Jason?’ Your voice called out and Jason never felt more alive than he did in hearing you say his name in that angelic voice of yours, so much so that he didn’t notice that he had begun to cry harder but out of relief this time. ‘I thought- I thought you left. I couldn’t feel you. I tried reaching for you but you weren’t there.’ He began to say but was cut off when you brought him tightly into your arms.

‘Im sorry that I kept you waiting my beautiful boy.’ You cooed as your fingers reached up to comb through his hair, nails scratching at his scalp now and then to assure him of your presence. Jason didn’t hesitate to bring you into his lap as he buried his head deep into your shoulder, wiping his tears against your sleep shirt, but you couldn’t bring yourself to care when he was holding onto you as though you were bound to disappear once he lets go. ‘Where did you go?’ He asks. ‘I got a little thirsty and so I went to get a drink of water.’ You explained, kissing him anywhere that was made available to you.

‘You’ve been strong for a long, long time and I’ve never been more prouder of you for holding out as long as you have with everything you’ve been through, it never fails to amaze me how resilient you are Jaybirdie.’ You felt his breathing even out as he began to lean back into the bed, still holding onto you. ‘You’re truly an incredible man for being able to stand on your own two feet and still find it within yourself to fight.’ You softly told him as you continued to hold him in your arms as he squeezed your waist in response. ‘I’m so unbelievably lucky to have someone like you in my life and I will do everything in my power to make you believe that.’ You promised him.

‘Even if it’s impossible and might take forever.’ Jason says, starting to feel the lull of sleep as it began to weigh heavily on his eyelids.

You smile softly, pressing a kiss to his cheek. ‘Even if it takes an eternity I would still find a way to prove just how beautiful you are.’ You replied, nuzzling into him as his bodily warmth began to ease you into a sense of security. ‘You are the most beautiful man I have ever met Jason Todd.’ You moved to look him in the eyes. ‘A butterfly may not be able to see the colour of their wings but that doesn’t retract the fact that they’re undeniably beautiful.’ You added as you pressed a couple of kissed to his forehead. ‘Now gets some sleep my beautiful boy, I’ll be here when you wake up.’

‘You promise?’ Jason asked, biting back a yawn.

‘I’d be stupid to break a promise I made to you.’ You responded, thinking all was said and done when Jason brought a hand up to your face, showing you his outstretched pinky. ‘Pinky promise me that you’ll be here with me when I wake up.’ He says and you smile softly at the inherent innocence of that of a pinkie promise but still went ahead and linked your pinky with his, pressing a kiss to his calloused and scarred hand with reverence before resting it on his chest. ‘I pinky promise that I’ll be here when you wake up. Was that good?’

‘We’ll see in the morning when I get to wake up to you chipmunk.’ Jason replied, holding you more against his chest and fell asleep but you weren’t complying as you soon followed him into dreamland, your pinkies still linked to one another as a reminder of your promise.

#jason todd imagine #jason todd fluff #jason todd x reader #jason todd imagines #jason todd fanfic #jason todd fanfiction #jason todd fic #dc x y/n #dc x you #dc comics x reader #dc x reader #dc imagine #dc fic #dc fanfic #dc fanfiction

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munson-blurbs · 1 month

Text

Summary: An evening in the Wheeler basement reveals what you've been trying to deny about your best friend, and longtime crush, Eddie.

WC: 827

Warnings: hurt/no comfort, unrequited love, mention of sex. You've been warned.

Eddie “Speak First, Think Later” Munson struck again.

A rainy spring Saturday had the Hellfire Club gathered for an impromptu meeting in the Wheeler basement. Eddie whipped out a campaign that he’d been saving, somehow just as detail-rich as the ones he’d meticulously prepared for regular Friday sessions. It had gone on for hours until Dustin, the last player standing, rolled to cast a fireball and was met with utter failure.

“Damn, and here I thought this was one of my weaker ones.” Eddie popped a sour cream and onion chip in his mouth, crunching down with a triumphant grin. “Looks like I’m unstoppable. Impenetrable. Invincible, even.”

“Yeah, whatever,” Gareth muttered, but there was no missing his own smile as he added, “tell that to Chrissy Cunningham.”

Chrissy Cunningham? Your stomach dropped at the mention of her name. You’d noticed him glancing over at her table in the cafeteria, and saw him at her locker a few times, but that didn’t mean…

Jeff snorted. “He can’t tell her anything without looking like a total moron. ‘H-Hey, Chrissy. Nice hair, um, thing.’”

“I do not sound like that, asshole.”

“Dude, you said that exact sentence in algebra yesterday. It was a direct quote.”

Your throat was scratchy from shouting during the game, but you cleared it and forced yourself to speak. “What’s going on with Chrissy?”

Grant ignored the glare that Eddie preemptively gave the rest of the guys. “Our fearless leader is smitten with the Queen of Hawkins High,” he teased. Mike, Dustin, and Lucas all underscored his statement with obnoxious kissy noises.

“Shut up!” Eddie yelled, but it only further spurred them on.

“Don’t be shy,” Dustin said through his laughter. “Everyone knows you loooooove her!”

You didn’t. Okay, maybe a part of you did, but your optimism—or perhaps naivety—dismissed the idea. Because if he loved Chrissy, that meant he didn’t love you. It meant the long hugs and arms slung over your shoulder were platonic. That the deep conversations late into the night were simply between friends.

“I don’t love her,” Eddie retorted, his pinkening cheeks giving him away. “I just think she’s cute, okay?”

“Cute?” Lucas said. He rolled his eyes. “Puppies are cute. Kittens are cute. Babies are—”

“Fine, I think she’s the most beautiful girl I’ve ever seen in my goddamn life!” Eddie snapped, but a soft smile tugged at the ends of his lips. “Are you idiots happy now?”

The most beautiful girl he’d ever seen in his life. In his life.

Happy? You were the farthest thing from happy.

Your eyes blurred with tears, blinking them back and timing a sniffle with the crinkling of the chip bag as Mike passed it to Lucas. If you could pull yourself together, you could excuse yourself before you broke down completely.

“Dude.” Jeff looked at Eddie, pulling his gaze to you despite your reluctance to even glance his way. “She’s a girl.”

“Oh, shit.” Eddie chuckled, snagging his Mountain Dew can from the snack table and taking an extended swig. “It’s not like I’m gonna have sex with my best friend, though.”

Gareth feigned a pout. “I thought I was your best friend.”

“Yeah, well, I’m not having sex with you either.”

You watched as Eddie finished his soda, crushing the can in his fist and tossing it at the drummer’s curly mop of hair.

It’s not like I’m gonna have sex with my best friend.

Not even a pause. Not a moment of consideration. Nothing close to the movie-esque scene where the boy realized that the girl of his dreams had been right in front of him the whole time.

Mustering up a half-smile, you pushed yourself off of the couch. “I’m gonna head home. I’m pretty beat.”

Beat. Broken. Destroyed. Shattered.

Eddie sat up, brushing Lays crumbs onto his jeans and leaving them shiny with oily residue. “Let me drive you,” he offered.

You shook your head. “N-No, I wanna walk.”

“It’s raining,” he protested.

“It’s fine.”

That may have been the first time you’d declined the chance to spend time alone with him. You lived for the days you’d climb into the passenger seat of his van after Hellfire, resting your head against the window as it vibrated from the bass of the radio speakers.

Eddie shrugged. “Suit yourself,” he said, turning his attention back to the guys.

He didn’t come after you. You heard his laughter echoing around the basement as you ascended the stairs, barely managing to close the door before you burst into tears.

Everything you wanted Eddie to feel for you, he felt for Chrissy. The thought of watching his eyes follow her around the cafeteria on Monday roiled a sickness within you.

You wished you’d never showed up to the Wheelers’ today. Although it wouldn’t have changed Eddie’s love for Chrissy—or his lack of love for you—at least you could continue pretending that there was hope.

Now, you had nothing but a broken heart.

#eddie munson #eddie x reader #eddie stranger things #eddie x you #eddie munson x you #eddie munson x reader #eddie munson x f!reader #eddie munson x female reader #eddie munson x y/n #eddie munson fanfic #stranger things fanfic #fanfic #eddie munson stranger things #stranger things #angst #hurt/no comfort

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grimesgirll · 2 months

Text

“not happening.”

“what if i told you that you’d be helping to save the world?”

“by fucking him?”

you scoff, turning your attention back to the braid you’d begun down your back. “i’m not helping you with your passion project, okafor. i have actual shit to do.”

okafor grins at you. “bullshit.”

“no, i still have weekly duties and assignments. i can’t just drop all of that trying to seduce your ticking time bomb.”

“i see the way he looks at you,” he states with a breath of your name. “if he’s gonna be open to anyone, it’s you.”

“he doesn’t need to be open to anyone.” you counter.

“i don’t think you know what he needs yet.”

“and you do?”

“he needs you.”

“no.” you reply flatly, fists clenched. “you need him to enact your little plan that i have nothing to do with.”

the lieutenant colonel gives you a haughty smile. “well then, at the very least he needs stress relief and you owe me a favor.”

you glare at him. “that was a one time thing.”

“you got what you wanted didn’t you?”

“being perpetually indebted to you with favors isn’t what i signed up for,” you complain as you plait your hair.

“you get to sit around and make your little maps and fuck around all day.” your superior reminds you.

you do your best not to scowl too much, unlike the man who your former benefactor wanted you to de-stress fuck. he constantly had a sour look on his face. he was the consignee who cut off his fucking hand trying to escape. how would you convince someone like that to just lay back and let you fuck them until they didn’t miss whatever life they had before again?

“this is kind of a far ask, okafor.” you note and tie off the end of your braid. you finally turn around from the mirror in front of you to face the dark green fatigue clad man behind you. “it’s never gone as far as touching someone like that and actually fucking them. i don’t think i’m up for that.”

okafor crosses his arms. “are you sure about that? last time i checked, you eye fuck him almost as much as he eye fucks you.”

“you’re an asshole.” you spit, venom dripping from your words. “i’m not letting you coerce me into this.” your eyes meet his brown irises. “let this be the last straw for you, lock me up, dishonorably discharge me, whatever, but i’m not just gonna hop on your lackey’s dick because you say so.”

he takes a deep breath and clasps his hands together, smirking for whatever reason. “i think you’ll want to.” he suddenly stands and you’re paranoid for a split second that he’s about to summon backup or attempt to disarm you right here and now. “because i’m not serving up any threats, just desserts. you’ve been good to me and i’ve been good to you. i want you to continue to reward you. maybe with what you’ve wanted all along.”

your eyebrow lifts. “and what would that be?”

okafor doesn’t say anything when you begin breaking the dress code with your workout gear. you make sure to plan time around your community mapping projects to run past the officers' meeting hall in the tighest pair of shorts you owned.

you never forgot to smile and wave to okafor and rick as you pass by. it takes a few days but rick returns your wave.

content adorns your face when you catch him surveying your form from afar, getting closer and closer to that sweet reward okafor had promised you.

soon enough rick is running into you everywhere. you're crossing paths in helicopter hangers, on benches outside of the barracks, during your runs around the reservoir, at the gym, in the administrative office in your most yielding sweater, in the hallway, and at his front door on okafor’s orders.

“okafor wanted me to make sure this got to you.”

“thank you,” rick grunts gruffly, accepting the folder with his latest field assignment from your grasp.

“anytime, rick,” you crow.

before he can bid you good night, you ask if he’d been briefed by okafor yet. he shakes his head.

you smile sweetly. “well, he really wanted you to sit down and talk about the park with someone who’s been there before, knows the layout.”

the cowboy type raises an eyebrow. “you’ve been to olympia national park before.”

“mhmm,” you confirm. “a long time ago but i know more about it than okafor.” you let out a breath, eyes boring into his icy blue gaze. “got a minute?”

the dark wainscoting of officer’s quarters enters your field of vision as rick leads you through the skinny hallway, pointing out a bathroom before bringing you into what you assume is the downstairs living room.

“you can help yourself to the kitchen,” he offers graciously, gesturing towards the kitchen of the open floor plan living space.

“thanks!” you chirp and weave towards the kitchen, finding two short glasses and flinging a cabinet open.

“oh, you have whiskey!”

“it was a gift from okafor.”

you can barely keep a guffaw from tumbling out of your mouth. “that’s very on brand for him,” you comment, turning the handcrafted decanter over in your hands. “well, lucky for you, okafor has fantastic taste.”

rick observes from the leather sofa as you pour two short glasses of whiskey - not even asking if you could. the orange light of the kitchen does nothing to hide how great you look for nine o’clock at night. your gauzy long hair glints, looking sleek beneath the lights as it falls inches above the curve of your ass.

the same bottom that had seemingly been following rick around base. it was like everywhere he turned: you were there. whatever inspired this house call felt suspiciously related.

kneeling on the floor next to the coffee table, you place the tray with your drinks down and empty the folder of its documents in order to splay them across the table. you reach up to rick to pass him one of the twin glasses.

reluctantly, he accepts. however, he doesn’t take a sip from his glass until after you do.

he doesn’t miss the way your throat tenses at the burn of the liquor when it makes its way down. you throw another swig back like a young woman who’s grown accustomed to drinking with her fellow soldiers, but in the quarters of one of her superiors?

“so, here’s where you’ll be landing.” your glass is already on the coffee table and you’re pointing out green meandering lines. “whitehorse mountain is right here. just be careful of atmospheric rivers in the area. did okafor tell you about what happened to the apache team?”

the dark haired man shook his head, worry lines becoming more pronounced.

you shake your head. “forget i said anything.” you take another quick drink from your glass and rick looks alarmed - you’re not like your oxen brothers in arm who could drink themselves silly. he doesn’t have time to dwell on it though because you’re skipping right to the next print out to detail his planned trek along the sauk river.

“it’s a pretty ridge. you should stop and take a picture.” you suggest, thumbing through laminated landmark shots of valleys and vistas, making a verbal note of one which is a convenient stop on his trip.

he bites his pink lip. “i don’t think getting a photo of the view is gonna be on my mind, sweetheart.”

“why not?” you question with a glimmer in your eye. “someone like you should take time to relax when you can.”

he chides your name. “what’re you doin’?”

“your job is important, and we all have jobs to do, right?”

there’s a far awayness in his eyes that you can’t place when you lean in closer. feet tucked under your knees, you’re trailing your hand up rick’s thigh towards the tent in his pants.

“you wanna fuck my mouth?”

“why’re you doin’ this?”

when he iterates your name, you consider backing down but then you remember okafor’s promise and how truly repressed this man seemed.

“it’s been a while hasn’t it.”

rick squirms. he doesn’t mean to but it’s a question not many people have the balls to ask him and he didn’t expect it from you of all people. he tries to block whatever memories are bubbling in response and busies himself with taking in the view of your parted lips.

“you don’t have to say anything, just relax,” you coo, shoving him back slightly.

looking down at you, rick doesn’t know what he has to gain from saying no at this point. rick huffs as you approach his erection but he doesn’t object.

his waistband falls with your fingers and you’re faced with the massive length you’d been worrying about. ever since you first saw rick’s bulge, you were brainstorming how you’d even fit him inside your taut walls, much less inside of your mouth.

starting slow, you begin at the base and kitten lick up to the top. rick’s groans give him away immediately. how can he hide how repressed he is with a cock as hard as rocks?

at the top of him, you’re laving his cockhead in your mouth. “i’ve never been with anyone this big,” you admit for the potential ego boost - even though it’s one hundred percent true. rick has a fucking horse cock if you’ve ever seen one.

your hand is working overtime with everything you can’t fit into your mouth at first. rick exhales hoarsely at the wet heat of your mouth devouring him. he hasn’t had a mouth on him in so long. your tight, warm lips wrap around his dick and you swallow around him.

his self control is rusty so he curses when he bucks into your face, stalling his hips only for you to pick up your pace. he wants to pull you off when he feels like he’s about to cum down your tight airway which is crammed full of his cock.

at the first feeling of that telltale twitch against your tongue, you prepare to do your part to keep rick’s nice leather couch clean and swallow everything he’s been holding back.

popping off of him, you look back up at him and grant a toothy smile. his eyes are lurid and clouded with what you only assume is lust. you’re not prepared for his rough grip to drag you onto the surface and into his lap.

the green cargo mini skirt you were wearing falls down your legs and lands somewhere on the wood paneled floor. the moment after you wipe your mouth with a tight fitting sleeve, rick captures your mouth. slightly taken aback, you moan into the man, squirming borderline uncontrollably on top of him as he pulls your top over your head.

his sturdy fingertips ghost across up your waist to your breast. with one robust squeeze as a warning, he assaults your heaving chest with his flesh hand and bruises your collarbone with something between a kiss and a mini-puncture wound. the proesthetic invades your panties and teases your labia, eliciting a needy hum from you.

his horse cock makes itself known again against the front of your pale pink panties.

fuck, how will he fit?

“god, you’re already soakin’ me.”

you get past the feel of his embrace for a moment to glance down only to be greeted with the sight of your swampy lap. how did i do that? you ponder.

“i wanna feel you on my cock, sweetheart. is that something you can do to help me relax?”

you grin. “i’m glad you asked.” you feel a renewed tingle downstairs. “why don’t you see how i take your fingers first?”

a smirk forms on his face. “probably should.” and then he’s reaching between the two of you to prod a finger at your dripping mound.

a deft finger drives into you. you’re expecting another one but as you lazily rest your head on his clothed shoulder, you just whine. the finger inside of you curls and unfurls, stretching you out without the addition of another digit. just the way his fingers drags along your walls has you twisting on top of him.

“you’re really wet for a girl who came over to talk about maps.”

you don’t comment, just cant your hips and beg for another finger. he obliges.

the calculated sensation has you forgetting what he’s talking about, forgetting about your plan. that rhythm he’s adopted speeds up once you make eye contact with rick.

“one more?” he questions.

you nod furiously. “another!”

rick doesn’t delay and the floor drops out from under once you feel a tongue on your quiveting lower lips.

“rick!” you gasp as his fingers and tongue work in unison to squeeze every naughty little noise out of you.

the soldier doesn’t speak; he just laps up your pussy like it was an order.

you come all over his face.

“sorr-,” you’re shut up by a wet finger in your mouth.

“that’s it.”

the no longer meek man trains his eyes on you as you suck his finger clean. through half lidded eyes, you watch his pupils dilate into fully lust blown orbs. devoid of the bright blue you’d seen before, rick’s stare only shifts when he’s shifting you on top of him.

“is it going to fit?” you don’t even realize that your thoughts are materializing out loud.

the officer snorts. “never had a problem before.”

the initial stretch is challenging. your breath is caught in your throat and you’re almost asking the man beneath you to slow down but he’s already inching in at an excruciatingly stable rate.

fuck, you’re reconsidering this. you curse your lieutenant colonel for acting like this whole song and dance was easy. figures. okafor isn’t the one getting stretched out on an eight inch cock.

at the sound of your whines, rick places a kiss on the top of your forehead. “doin’ so good for me,” rick praises. “so tight.”

i know, i feel you tearing me open you want to rasp but you just try to settle into the feeling. you adjust your position, tilting enough for rick to take a renewed interest in your ass. a firm hand plants itself on your flesh in an attempt to leverage you closer.

“almost there,” he grunts and continues pushing through your clinging canal, through the thick rings of muscle that grip his cock so tightly.

momentarily, you slump against the soldier. yeah, you’d been running around the base in hopes of attracting rick’s attention but your exercise routine was no match for the man with a brick between his legs.

once he’s sheathed inside of you, rick reaches down to toy with your clit. you mutter a soft curse. the sensation picks up and you’re faced with not just feeling full but fully stimulated as well. each drag against your sensitive bundle of nerves has you whimpering into rick.

drives into you become harsher. the impact feels less like a truck and more like a commanding officer. an arm is wrapped around you to keep your position steady on top of okafor’s new favorite soldier. the same one who seems to be hitting the right spot every time he moves you up and down his length.

your hands reach for his graying chestnut hair. they find purchase while rick rocks into you. the urge to complain that his shirt is on exits once a familiar pressure mounts inside of you.

“fuck, you’re squeezin’ me.”

“mhmm,” you expire into his neck, nuzzling into him when he presses fingernails into your sides and lifts and lowers you like his own personal stress relief toy.

you can’t be bothered to care. you’re getting what you want out of this: a reward and a release.

pleasure is just radiating throughout your core again. whatever pain had you speechless earlier has evolved into an ecstasy that has you babbling. rick just keeps a hand on the small of your back and carries on pouring himself into you - into your tight little canal, back and forth, in and out.

“rick,” you’re mewling.

the man can’t be bothered to plant a hand pleasurably on your pussy or respond to your cries, so you complain a little louder.

“want you to cum in me.” you stutter into the pillowcase.

“don’t think you want that,” rick demurely admits.

“no,” you argue between pants. “i’m on the shot they have here. i want you to fill me up.”

rick utters a curse into your neck, pouring himself into you so swiftly you’re surprised. just like you asked, he pumps his hips leisurely into your soaked cunt. you wince at the sound of a squelch. hopefully rick doesn’t care too much about having to clean his sofa.

neither of you are expecting the noise you make when rick untangles himself from you. you’re too tired to have shame and simply sink back into the ductile pillows. your head swivels over slowly to find rick watching your chest fall up and down unevenly.

laying beside the man, you can’t help but feel accomplished. for once, the soldier is sporting a blissed out look on his face instead of a scowl or thousand yard stare. but as he slings an arm around you and tugs you closer to his sweltering, sweaty body, you can’t help but feel guilty - manipulative even.

mission accomplished, but at what cost?

pt. 2

378 notes · View notes

eideticmemory · 7 months

Text

A LONG DAY | MATTHEW GRAY GUBLER

At the end of a long day, your husband really is the best person to come home to.

Word Count: 2.9k

Warning/Includes: Husband!Matthew !!! Dad!Matthew !!! Delusional fluff!! Even more delusional smut!!

The worst part of getting home so late isn’t the body aches, it isn’t the exhaustion, it’s not even the dozens of bright headlights that blind you on the way home. It’s the darkness. Everything is so dark. You pull into the driveway and the porch light is out, the garage is pitch black. Shutting your car off, you take a moment to lean your head back and sigh, gaining the strength to grab all of your crap, open the door and stumble through the garage. You trip over your daughter’s bike, but you catch yourself and you think you’re going to burst into tears. Instead, you step into the basement where it is almost as dark, save for the soft light of TV where your husband sits on the couch, doing absolutely nothing but wait for you.

Matthew turns around and his face just instantly lights up, “Hey, mama,” he rises to his feet. He takes your bag, your lunchbox and sets them down so he can give you a big, tight, hug. Arms wrapped securely around your waist, face buried in your neck, he whispers, “I missed you.”

And your entire body melts into his, your hands gripping onto his shoulders as you sigh out, “I missed you.” Then he hugs you tighter, lifts you off your feet.

When he puts you down, you still don’t let go, and he chuckles under his breath, but he holds you until you’re ready to let go.

“How are the babies?” you ask him.

“Oh, they’re good,” he nods, and he takes your hand, guides you over to the monitors perched on the coffee table. “They’re asleep. Went down pretty easy.”

“Did they ask about me?” You ask, leaning down to caressing Leo’s face on the screen.

“C’mon, you know they did,” Matthew smiles. “I told them that you were at work but you love them and you’d see them first thing in the morning.”

Your fingertips trace Amelia’s face, and then slowly over Rhiannon’s and it makes you so very sad. Heavy weight on your shoulders, deep in your chest, sad. When you get home late and it’s pitch dark, bedtime has come and gone. The day has come and gone. And the guilt absolutely eats you alive.

Matthew rubs your back, running the heel of his hand up your spine, “Have you eaten?”

You sigh, “Not since lunch,” shaking your head, standing up straight.

“Oh god, babe, let me make you something.”

You release a sharp breath from your nose and instantly rest your forehead on his shoulder.

You are so tired.

“Hm?” he hums, holding you tight.

You give nothing more than a nod, but that’ll do.

“Yeah?” he whispers. “Okay, let’s go upstairs.”

He follows behind you with your stuff up and you close the door behind him, officially lock the house up for the night. Walking towards the stairs, you take a look around and comment, “It’s clean as hell in here.”

He laughs, “Well, thank you for noticing. Shout out to your kids for taking some good naps today so I could actually get some of their shit picked up.”

You give him a dry laugh. It would’ve been louder but you just simply lack the energy.

“Oh, baby, you’re tired,” he kisses your cheek. “Go ahead,” he nods towards the stairs. “I’ve got your food. Go lay down, mama.”

And you really don’t need to be told twice. So you give him a gentle kiss, a quiet, “Thank you,” and you drag yourself up the stairs. You hop in the shower with the pure intention of making it quick, but you take a seat on the floor, letting the water run over your body for much longer than you mean to. Still a bit damp, you throw on Matthew’s shirt and crawl into your bed on all fours, collapsing on the mattress when you reach your designated side. Snuggling into your pillow, you moan under your breath, the relief and comfort washing over you all at once.

Matthew steps into the room, quietly closing the door behind him. And with him is a small plate topped with a sub sandwich and a side of chips. “Is this okay, baby?”

You roll over to take a look, at the sandwich done up with your favorite meats and cheese, the chips you go to when you need a snack. And it is so obvious that someone who knows you and loves you put it together. “Yes, my love,” you smile. “Yes, it’s perfect. Thank you.” You take the plate from him and set it on your nightstand.

“You sure?” he asks as he crawls in beside you, plops down on the bed. “I packed you the same thing for lunch tomorrow, but if you’d prefer something else, I can do that for you.”

You look up at him, run your finger over his collarbone, hook it onto the collar of his shirt. You go to speak, but you lose your train of thought as you touch his hair and his chin, “…take your pants off.”

And you swear, he nearlys goes - what? - but he catches himself. He shuts himself up very quickly and nods, no questions asked. He slides his pants over his hips and down his legs, his briefs flying off the edge right along with them.

You push your panties down, kick them off like it’s what they were meant for all along. As you climb on top of Matthew, his breath catches in his chest and he moans at the soft touch of your lips on his. His arms take you in out of instinct, his hands work their way up your waist and grope your boobs. You hum, holding his face in your hands as you grind your hips on him, feel his cock come alive between your legs.

The warmth of it all has him struggling to keep sane, with him constantly groaning against your lips, digging his nails into your thighs.

“Wait, wait,” he huffs, pushing your hair out of your face. “Don’t…don’t you wanna eat first?”

“Mm-mm,” You shake your head, arch your back and tangle your hands in his hair, “After.”

He nods and opens his mouth just a bit so your tongue can slide between his lips. Your mouths gets slimy and slippery but the two of you cannot stop. You only part so you can spit into your own palm, which you proceed to rub over your pussy. Matthew watches you in astonishment, his eyes glistening as you purr and touch yourself so close to his cock. When you notice, you give him a slutty smile, bite down on your lip and it almost kills him.

He pulls you in for another kiss. This one, longer. Dirtier, all consuming. You grab onto his rock hard cock, covering him in your saliva, feeling him twitch in your palm. His breath shudders and he buckles underneath you, looking up at you with hooded and heavy eyes. You press your nose into his, aligning his cock so that you sink onto it just right.

The small whine you let out is eclipsed by his deep, “Oh!” and he quiets down, muttering, “Fuck…”

You brace yourself on his shoulders, your foreheads pressed together as you move yourself up and down. Slow at first, but then Matthew rests his head on the headboard, his jaw dropped and his forehead beading with sweat and he mumbles, “Oh my god…”

“Yeah?” you moan, caressing his face, and your hips pick up in speed. In intensity, landing on him with a loud, wet thump each time.

“Oh, fuck yes, baby,” he whimpers. “Come here,” he pulls you in by the back of your neck, kissing you with his other hand planted firmly on your ass.

You run your hands down his biceps, squeezing them as you whine from the back of your throat. Your body loses energy but can’t stop bouncing on him, grinding your clit into his tummy. Your breath is shaky, but strong enough to grow in volume, your jaw dropping against Matthew’s mouth as you release your incessant moans. He puts his open mouth on your neck, his tongue on your skin and you gasp, dropping your hips on him, “Fuck!”

“Mm…” he hums, taking a quick bite of your neck, “Oh god, I love you. I fucking love you.”

And instead of saying it back, you just wrap your arms around his shoulders, squeeze him in a hug. He knows.

You grind your teeth together but it’s not enough to keep you quiet. You cry out directly in his ear and claw at the headboard, the motion in your hips becoming careless and sloppy. But, oh, so perfect. Your eyes roll back as you sit up straight, his eyes trained on you and only you.

“You gonna come?” he whispers.

You nod, “I’m gonna come.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah, I’m…f-fuck…” your eyes cross over one another and you focus all your energy on stimulating your clit, letting yourself get there.

“Fuck!” you shout. “Fu…Matthew…” you moan.

“What is it, baby?” he holds your waist. “Hm?”

You respond with a loud and sudden gasp, followed by a breathy groan that echoes off the walls. Matthew can practically feel the vibration and he can feel your thighs tight around his waist and your pussy tightening around his cock. You stutter and you mumble until it’s nothing more than his name coming out on constant and whiny loop.

“Matthew-“ you choke out. “F-fuck…” until you lose your breath. “Matthew. Oh god, Matthew. Matthew, Matthew…”

“I know, I know,” he whispers, tapping his finger to his lips, “Shhh, shhh, shhh…”

“Matth-mm…” he shuts you up with a kiss and your entire body tenses on contact. He mushes his face into yours but still, you will not stop. You will not shut up because it’s not possible. So he keeps his mouth on yours. He swallows every noise you make and muffles his own against your lips. His arms engulf your waist and you bury your face in his neck, helpless moans bursting from the back of your throat.

“Okay, okay…” he murmurs. “Shhh…just let it out for me, baby…c’mon…”

You gasp as you come down on his cock, your body weakening by the second, your arms draped over his shoulders. You lick his neck and he groans, “Shit.”

You grip onto him. Tighter, and even tighter, working your hips until you come with a long and loud groan, which would’ve been much louder if Matthew wasn’t holding the back of your head, pushing your face into his neck. You fall limp against him, grinding yourself on his lap to ride the wave.

“Oh, that’s my girl,” he purrs, peppering kisses on your shoulder.

You shudder and let out a small squeak, overstimulated as he starts to lift his hips, push his cock into you. “O-oh, fuck,” he stutters.

You hold his face, run your hands down his chest and watch his belly flex as he angles himself inside of you. You can hardly keep yourself up, keep your eyes open, but when he very suddenly chokes out a moan and lifts you off his cock, you gasp, “Oof!” and he shoots all over his stomach. He just didn’t want to make a mess on you. Or, in you. It’s been such a long day.

He trembles, his face twisted up as he finishes all over himself. And his muscles relax into this content smile, which widens once he gets a good look at you.

“Fuck…” he exhales, gives you a light slap on the cheek, “You’re loud, woman.”

You chuckle, covering your mouth, “And this is news to you?”

“Oh, no,” he shakes his head, laughing, “Definitely not.”

You lean down and catch him in a kiss. This one, gentle. Slow. Sweet. He pecks at your lips and promptly pats your ass, “Let me go get cleaned up, mama.”

You nod and roll right off of him, landing face first into your pillow. You feel the bed shift as he stands, but cannot muster the energy to watch him walk away. He returns to find you in the same position and because you are too lazy to look up, you don’t see it coming when he slaps your ass.

“Ow!” you shout and now you look at him.

“You still have to eat,” he grins, placing himself back in bed.

You bury your face in the pillow, whining, “But I’m so tired.”

“Doesn’t matter,” he reaches over you and grabs the plate from your nightstand. “You still gotta eat. C’mon, c’mon.”

You groan and roll over, sitting up to lay in the crook of his arm. He sets the plate in your lap and picks up a chip, holding it to your lips. You sigh and take it in your mouth, chewing it with your eyes half closed.

“Sandwich, too,” he holds it up for you.

You open your mouth to take a small bite and he pulls it away, “No, you can open your mouth wider than that, we both know it.”

You gasp and swat his arm, making him throw his head back and cackle. And just as you go to take a Matthew-approved sized bite, there’s a tired cry from the baby monitor and you both pause. Go absolutely silent. Still. You don’t breathe. Not until Rhiannon rolls over in her crib, grabs her lovey and goes right back to sleep. Then, and only then, do the two of you relax again.

“Phew,” Matthew says. “Okay, sandwich now.”

You roll your eyes at him and finally, you take a bite.

You fall asleep on his chest, but you wake up alone. You roll over to check the time, finding empty beds on every monitor and you grumble to yourself.

Just outside the door, Matthew is walking down the hall with Rhiannon in his arms, Leo holding his hand and Amelia at his side. The plan was, as always, to get them downstairs for breakfast. The plan, as always, does not go the way it should.

“Daddy?” Leo calls. “Where’s mommy?”

“That’s your favorite question, isn’t it?” Matthew laughs.

“Is she at our house?”

“Yeah, she’s sleeping, buddy. She had a long day at work yesterday.”

“But I want mommy.” Leo whines.

“Well, we don’t wanna wake her up. We gotta let her rest.”

“What if we just go look at mommy but we don’t wake her up?” Always, always Amelia with the bright and clever ideas.

Matthew purses his lips as they approach your bedroom door, “You guys have to be quiet, okay? Promise?”

The two of them nod, and they’ve got those satisfied grins on their face only reserved for when they get their way. Matthew quietly opens the door and they find you laid out on your stomach, your head facing the other direction.

“Mommy’s sleeping?” Leo asks.

“Yeah, buddy, I told you. She’s tired, but she’ll be up soon.”

“But-but-but-but…” he stammers. “Can we just give her a kiss?”

This question is what wakes you.

Matthew sighs and glances at your still frame, back down to Leo, “You can give her a kiss, but be gentle.”

He helps the two of them onto the bed and you feel the weight of them landing on the mattress, crawling over to you. You’re trying your best not to laugh, but you cannot keep yourself from smiling. Leo kneels at your side and just as he promised, very carefully and quietly kisses the top of your head. You poke your bottom lip out, melting from the act of love. Amelia places a soft kiss on your shoulder and you just. Can’t even.

“Who’s that kissing me?” you speak suddenly, reaching around to grab Leo’s leg, which makes him scream in excitement. “Who is that? Who is this?” you grab onto Amelia and she squeals.

You flop over and they burst into laughter, Leo instantly falling onto your chest. It knocks the air out of you but in the very best way possible. Amelia piles on top of him and you free yourself just enough to reveal your face to Rhiannon who kicks her feet once the realization hits. Matthew sets her on the bed, grinning like a mad man at the sight of you all. Rhiannon finds herself in the middle of a tight, tight, tight hug.

You kiss their heads, “Oh, hi, my babies,” you laugh. “Hello, hello, hello.”

“Um, mommy?” Amelia calls.

“Yes, my love?”

“Did you have to stay at work when it was nighttime?”

“Yeah, baby, I did. I know it’s hard when mommy works for so long, but I’m back now and I’m just so excited to see you!” you squeal, “Mwah!” and place another kiss on her forehead.

“Hey, do you think you guys can go help daddy with breakfast while mommy gets dressed?”

They nod and you whisper, “Thank youuu,” embracing them one last time.

Matthew smiles at you as they leave the room, and with a good orgasm, a good meal and a good night’s rest in your system, you hop right out of bed. You brush your teeth, change your clothes, fix your hair, until you have the perfect I’m-not-leaving-this-house-today look.

You step out of the bathroom and gasp as you see Matthew rushing towards you. Before you can react, he’s backing you against the wall and putting his mouth on yours, wide open, starving, with his hands gripping at your waist.

“Mm…” you hum when he suddenly pulls away. You giggle, shoving his chest, “Freak.”

He cackles and kisses you again. Again. Once more. Last one. He picks up your hand, places one single kiss on your knuckles, “C’mon, sexy lady, let’s go have some breakfast.”

#mine #matthew gray gubler #matthew gray gubler x reader #matthew gray gubler fanfiction #matthew gray gubler fluff #matthew gray gubler smut

922 notes · View notes

wosoamazing · 2 months

Text

Recovery

Summary: Part 2 of Negative Thoughts and Beach Days

Warnings: Eating Disorder (slight talks of being sick but it doesn't happen) - let me know if anything else and I will add

A/N: Sorry this took so long to get out, but I hope you like it and that it was worth the wait. Currently working on a two McFoord x Child!Reader fics and a Leah Williamson x Child!Reader fic and kind of a Sam redemption fic. But if you have any ideas for this series (either Barca, Arsenal or Matildas) or requests in general I will add them to my WIPs.

Lia had come over to cook dinner for you and Leah, it was something that happened quite often, however today the meal was fancier than usual. You just sat in your chair, in front of your plate, you used your fork to move the food around on you plate, taking small bites every now and then. You felt terrible you wanted to eat the food that Lia had taken the time to make, but there was a part of you that didn’t want to eat because of its fear of fatness and getting fat, and against your will this small part of you had started to take over more and more recently, causing you to feel funny when you thought about food, but this time something else was there, the thought of throwing up after you ate, this thought scared you, you had managed to suppress your thoughts and feelings for most of the meal however they finally bubbled over, causing tears to start free falling from your eyes, you felt stupid and pathetic all over again, you jumped up and left, sprinting up the stairs and into Leah’s room, you hide yourself under the covers and curled up, wanting to feel something else, anything else.

The two women that just a second ago were sitting at the table with you were in a mixed state of emotions, your sudden out burst caught them off guard, Leah really didn’t know what to do.

“Do you want me to leave?” Lia asked thinking it would be best.

“I’m sorry Wally,” you sister said to her still in a state of confusion.

“It’s okay Le, I’ll talk to you later, hopefully Bug is okay,” she said as they both started to get up out of their seats.

“Sorry about ending our night early,” you sister said as she hugged Lia, “it’s okay don’t worry, I understand, see you tomorrow, maybe?” your sister nodded before heading upstairs to find you.

Leah followed the sounds of your sobs to her room, she couldn’t see you but the lump under her covers indicated that you were there, she climbed into the bed and pulled your body on top of hers, she didn’t say anything, instead she rocked back and forth slightly whilst holding you tightly. You had gotten yourself so worked up you gaged, before you started coughing, Leah handed you the water on her bedside table, you took some small sips from it, Leah changed your position slightly so that your head rested against her chest. “Take some deep breaths with me bug,” you did as she said, your eye lids started to droop and your head began to get heavy, which Leah noticed “It’s okay bug, I’ve got you, I promise I will stay here, you can go to sleep if you want, we can talk later. Love you,” you didn’t respond, you buried your head into her side and eventually the exhaustion from your sobs caused you to fall asleep. When you body stopped shaking from your sobs and your breath was less rapid Leah sighed out a breath of relief, you had gone to sleep. She picked up her phone to see a message from Lia.

Lia: I hope everything is all okay, I cleaned up, I know you’re going to say I didn’t need to, but I did it just to make things easier, locked the door behind me. Hope bug is okay, message if you need anything.

Leah: Thank you, really you didn’t have to, but I really appreciate it. I don’t know what is wrong with bug, she was crying hard when I found her, eventually she fell asleep, I was worried she almost made herself sick, I think the only saving grace was that she didn’t eat much. I’ll keep you updated, sorry again about our night.

You become aware of your surroundings again slightly later, you were now resting against Leah’s side with her arm around your upper body almost supporting it, her laptop rested on her stomach as she did some work with her free hand.

“I-I’m sorry,” was what you mumbled into her side, alerting her to the fact that you were awake.

“It’s okay bug,” “Do you think Lia is upset that I didn’t eat her dinner? I feel really bad, she took so much time and care to make it and-”

“No bug, Lia didn’t even mention the fact you didn’t eat. She was just really concerned about you and whether you were okay or not.” you hummed in response “What’s wrong though bug? Do you feel okay?”

“um, well, I-” “It’s okay bug take your time, I’m here and I will stay here as long as you need” you knew from that response that Alessia had spoken to her, you didn’t know how much she said to her but she knew something, but you also knew Leah would want to hear everything from you, you wondered how long it had been since Alessia spoke to her, for her not to question you.

“I-I, I started getting conscious of my body a while ago and then these people on social media were being really mean and I know you say not to let it get to you but I did and then somewhere along the way I had obviously decided that not having my period meant that I was skinny enough and then I got my period and this voice in my head started to grow and was telling me I’m fat, and ugly and no one liked me and then I started to believe it so I stopped wearing my normal clothes and then when we went to the beach I couldn’t fit into my bikini and so the voice decided that I was really fat and ever since has not made me want to eat food and I’ve tried to not let it take over but it did and then tonight while I sat there looking at my dinner the other thing in my head was the voice that was telling me that if I ate it I would be fat and so I couldn’t eat and, and, and I’m sorry, it’s stupid and pathetic I know.” you blurted out managing not to cry, however tears started spilling form your eyes again when Leah sat up against the bedhead and pulled you into her lap and just hugged you tightly, resting her head on top of yours, giving you a reassuring presence. After you had calmed down slightly Leah started to talk, but she remained in the same position “I’m here for you bug, always, whenever and whatever you need, I would move mountains for you, I love you so so much, your my little bug. Please, please never feel like you have to hide your emotions, even when you think that they are dumb or pathetic or stupid because I can most definitely reassure you that they aren’t. We’re going to get through this together okay, I’ll help you, the team will help you.”

“I-I’m sorry” you sniffle. “There is nothing to be sorry about bug, this isn’t your fault.” she held you for a little while longer before she turned you around so you were facing her, she put her arms around your back, and looked at you. “I’m going to set up a meeting with Jonas okay, I try and do it for tomorrow morning so you don’t have to stress about it, Lessi did mention to me that she offered to do the meeting with you but I also want to offer to be there in the meeting for you”

“Um, could you do it with me? You can say no, but um, I would really like it if you could-” “Of course bug, I will definitely be there.” You smiled and leant forward to rest your head on her chest, before a yawn escaped your mouth. “Why don’t you go get changed unto your PJs and brush your teeth and I’ll do the same and then you can come back and sleep with me tonight,” you nod into her chest before getting up.

You climbed into the bed and snuggled up beside your sister, “can you tell Lia?” you softly said to her, knowing she knew what you meant.

“Sure bug, I love you heaps, have a good sleep.” she replied to you. You closed your eyes and mumbled “love you,” she placed a kiss on your forehead, and you quickly feel asleep. Once you were definitely asleep, she picked up her phone to message Lia

Leah: Bug is very sorry for not eating your food, the first thing she said was sorry, and asked whether you were upset.

Lia: Bless her, is everything okay with her?

Leah: um well, not really, can we call? Bug is asleep next to me, but she shouldn’t wake up.

Lia: Yeah sure, just give me a second.

You woke up the next morning at 7, slightly later than usual, Leah wasn’t in bed still, but you could hear her downstairs talking to someone else, who you thought was Lia. You made your way down the stairs and into the living room, to find Leah and Lia sitting there.

“Good morning,” your sister said as you walked in,

“Good morning, um Lia, I-I just wanted to say I-I’m sorry for not eating the food y-you made for us last night,”

“It’s okay Y/N/N, can I have a hug though?” she asked softly, you nodded and moved to sit next to her on the couch, she put her arms around you. She then let go of you, you moved so that you could rest your head on her should, she put on of her arms back around your shoulders and the other reached out for Leah’s, before she spoke, “we were thinking, maybe today at some stage I could or Leah and I could talk to the team for you if you want, it’s okay if you want to tell them yourself but we just thought you might prefer if we did it.”

“I think I would like that, thank you”.

You walked into training checking the time on your phone 9:30, your meeting was with Jonas at 10, you didn’t get the chance to train though, as your morning was mostly filled with tears and meetings. After you spoke to Jonas, who was very understanding you had to see the phycologist, dietician, and physios. You arrived in the dining hall a few minutes before lunch, and it had been obvious that Lia and Leah had told the team about what was going on as they all came up to you and gave you a hug as they filtered in.

Jonas had said that they would come talk to you after lunch, he encouraged you to invite a few people to stay with you to hear the plan so that they knew it in detail and could ask any questions they themselves might have. So, you asked Leah and Lia if they could join you and also Steph as she would be with you at Matildas camps but also because you thought she would want to know.

You were sat at one of the lunch tables, Lia and Leah were either side of you, holding a hand each and Steph stood behind you with her hands on your shoulders, as the staff informed you of the plan going forward. You were happy with it, it included some rules about food intake especially for game days but mainly just guidelines that you needed to stick to, you had to speak to the phycologist twice every week and the physios would be doing health checks on you more regularly. They would revise the plan in a month or so.

_____

You were walking out of the tunnel to the pitch for pitch inspections when one of the physios came to your side. “Here,” he said as he handed you an up and go.

“I don’t want to, I feel sick” you replied, trying to give it back to him.

“Well, that’s fine but you know the rules, you don’t drink it you don’t play,” you sighed as you pulled the straw out of its plastic and pierced the foil circle before you start sipping. One of the ‘rules’ in your plan for recovery was that to play you had to eat a sufficient amount of food that day, however you struggled to eat on game days due to nerves so the rule that you to drink some sort of meal substitute during the pitch inspection and finish it to be able to play was made.

“Thank you,” you rolled your eyes and walked over to Kyra.

_____

It was almost the end of mealtime, and you didn’t want to eat anymore, “Leah, I’m just not hungry, why don’t you understand that you aren’t listening to me,” “Just a few more mouthfuls please” “Leah, I told you I’m full.”

“I know you don’t want to bu-” “It’s not that I don’t want it, it’s that I can’t, I’m going to be sick if I eat anymore and that’s worse, realistically I want to eat more so I will be sick but that’s not healthy, so no, no more” you cut her off before your voice broke and you started crying, resting you head in your arms on the table.

“I’m sorry for pushing you too far Bug, I just wanted to help.” Leah rubbed your back, before you sat up and hugged her.

_____

“Tony, where are our up and go’s,” Alanna whined when you were handed one. Most of your Matildas teammates didn’t know, Tony said you didn’t have to tell them and you didn’t want to have the awkward conversation with them, so you didn’t, you weren’t trying to hide it, if they found out they found out.

“She’s just special” Kyra replies mocking you, you stick your tongue out before going over to Steph, who was with Mini.

“Up go, I wan” Harper said.

“I’m not sure if everyone can have one Harper, they might be special ones just for me,” her bottom lip dropped and started to wobble, “well maybe you could take this one as an ‘accident’ and I will have to go ask the staff for another one, I mean if they want me to play they will have to give me one,” you say with a smirk, before handing your up and go over to Harper, Mini’s brows furrowed, she was confused by what you meant. “I’m going to go get another one so I can play. Steph, you can tell her I’ll be back,”

You came back shortly later with another up and go in hand the way Mini looked at you informed her that Steph had told her. “You know you didn’t need to give her it, you should’ve kept it,” Mini instructed you as if you were her child before she pulled you into a one-sided hug, her other arm was occupied holding Harper. “I know, but they were always going to give me another,” you smirk “I mean they can hardly say no, how is that going to go down in the media.” Steph glared at you, “What?” you asked Steph playfully, she just rolled her eyes and sighed.

#woso #woso community #woso fanfics #woso x reader #woso imagine #arsenal wfc #awfc #awfc x reader

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textualdesires · 1 year

Text

Rebound

Xavier Thorpe x gn!telekinetic!Reader, mentions of Rowan Laslow x Reader (pre-death)

Xavier does not want to be your rebound. Except being your rebound is not half as bad with what comes with it.

I love this work, I gotta say. Reader is popular and with the nightshades. This is so adorable and my heart aches for both of these soft boys. Also completely gn! smut so it can be read as male, female or any other identity!

Categories: angst, fluff, mutual pining, smut with a plot?

Warnings: mild swearing, mentions of blood and murder, oral (m receiving), penetration, nudity, marking, size kink, use of powers in the bedroom, spit ig?, unprotected sex (wrap it before you tap it!)

Enjoy!

————————————————————————————————————

Your heart ached as you once again laid on his bed, tears streaming down your face. It’s been a few weeks since Rowan left. Or supposedly left. You knew he wouldn’t just leave. Wouldn’t just leave you behind.

You and Rowan had always been an odd couple. You were a popular telekinetic, had mastered your craft early. And he was the asthmatic kid, the outcast of outcasts.

You had first met him at the nightshades. Yoko, one of the first people you clicked with, had dragged you along soon after you joined Nevermore. He didn’t seem to fit in even there.

There was a deeper connection the two of you shared. Like even your powers were connected. Like you were meant to be together. He was rooted deep in your head. In your soul. In your head.

It had become a habit of yours to go to his dorm when you missed him. You would lie in his sheets, hold them close for as long as they still smelled like him. You didn’t come as often nowadays, but when it all became too much, you still did. It’s been so long the scent almost faded.

Xavier usually wouldn’t mind. You two had been friends for a long time. Hell, you and Rowan had been there for him when things ended with Bianca. It’s why he was there for you now.

He would always allow you to be there when you needed to. Would sit next to you and hold your hand to soothe you. Would climb into the bed with you if you hurt too much. He was there for emotional support. But this time it was him who needed it.

“Fuck!”

The door to the room swung closed hard, startling you. Xavier let his body fall against the door frame, sliding down to lean against it. You hadn’t seen him so upset in a long time. Not since Bianca.

“Hey, what’s wrong?” You asked through teary eyes.

“Oh- I- didn’t know you were here. It’s nothing really.”

“Hey, just because I’m hurting doesn’t mean I won’t listen to you.”

Softly you climbed over to him, dragging along the small blanket you had once bought Rowan. It always reminded you of the good times, of how much he loved you. It soothed you.

You wrapped it around Xaviers shoulders, sitting in front of him now. His eyes were watering with rage. You didn’t press him on telling you. He wouldn’t pressure you either. If he wanted to tell you, he would. You just put a hand on his leg, carefully looking at him.

“It’s Wednesday. She- had asked me to the Raven.”

“I remember. You were quite happy she did.”

“Yes and that’s why- ugh, I hate her.”

You knew that wasn’t true. You knew Xavier found the new girl intriguing. You couldn’t say the same for yourself. You couldn’t even look at her without being jealous. Being hurt.

You were jealous because she was the one who heard Rowan’s last words. And she was partly the reason he was gone. You believed her when she told you about what happened. You knew Rowan had slowly lost control of his powers and drifted off. You wish you could have stopped it. Could have saved him.

“She only asked me to cover for snooping around the shed. She never wanted to take me in the first place. And now I’m not sure I even want to go to that stupid ball.”

Xavier didn’t deserve this. To be treated like a last resort, or someone to play with. You grabbed his face now, forcing him to look at you.

“Xavier Thorpe. I’ve known you for so long. I know that there will be more people asking you to the dance. And I know that you’re an amazing person and anyone would be lucky to be your date to the ball. And if Wednesday can’t see that, she’s blind.”

Xavier put his hand over yours, grabbing it as a sign of gratitude. Cause he was thankful to have you. You two had become so close lately, he couldn’t even imagine what it would be like without your soothing voice, always saying the right things. A soft smile spread on his lips.

“I can really see what Rowan saw in you. Hell, I would be just as clingy as he was.”

“Oh shut up!”

————————————————————————

It had been two weeks and the Raven was slowly approaching. It was this weekend and slowly even you were stressed. You didn’t want to go at first, but frankly, you were sick and tired of grief.

Rowan wouldn’t have wanted you to spend any night crying in his old room. He wouldn’t have wanted you to hide from the crowds on a day as important as the Raven. He probably would have even told you, how you were too beautiful and lovely not to go.

You wanted to go with your friends at first. Unfortunately they had all found dates already. They hadn’t thought you wanted to go and made other plans. You weren’t mad, it was understandable. But you really didn’t feel like playing third wheel to any of them.

You could have of course just asked out some of the other people at school. At your best, you were popular, kind and social. It was unlikely you’d get turned down. But you didn’t feel like asking a stranger.

No, frankly, this was hard enough as it was. For you to finally go out there again after pulling back from all extracurricular activities, from any social contact let alone romance? It wasn’t easy.

There was only one plausible option left.

You had spotted him once again working on one of his famous murals. You loved them really. They were beautiful, always intricate and thought through. You admired how he could just whip up something like this.

He was currently busy walking away from you. You had flat out lead with a question, asking him if he had a date to the raven yet. When he realized what you entailed he immediately walked away from you.

“Xavier, please, would you just listen?”

“No! I am not some sort of rebound that you can ask because everyone else is already gone, I am not-“

“Listen to me, goddammit!”

He stopped dead in his tracks, turning around to look at you. Hell, half the courtyard was probably looking at you now. You were quite loud. You didn’t even mean to yell.

“I’m not even gonna pretend you are my first choice.”

“Wow, a real confidence boost, [Y/N].”

You grabbed his wrist before he could even leave this time. You wouldn’t give up that easily, not without explaining. You had thought about this a lot.

“You know Rowan was and always will be my first choice. But he’s not here. And he won’t come back, no matter what you believe happened. I am trying to not let that affect me anymore.”

Xavier looked at you with sorry eyes. He knew how upset you still were, you had come over to cry even more in the last days. He would sometimes just find you passed out on Rowan’s bed and put a blanket over you. He felt pity for you.

“If Rowan was here right now, he would think we’re both insane for not going. Hell, his roommate and partner, skipping the school’s biggest event? He would call us idiots.”

A small laugh escaped Xaviers lungs at the mental image of Rowan yelling at the two of you. Yeah, he would have his opinions. About how being popular was a privilege that you shouldn’t risk, how you should not care about him and go anyways.

“There is no one here I would rather go to the Raven with. I’m not asking you as a rebound or a second choice. I’m asking you because I trust you. Because you’re amazing. You have been the closest person to me since Rowan… whatever happened to him, you were there to catch me before falling through the cracks.”

He looked at you now, a smile on his face. You had never told him just how much you appreciated him. It made his hurt heart warm, a fuzzy feeling in his stomach as he saw a tiny bit of a smile on your face. He had missed that on you. You used to be so very bright and for the first time in forever, there seemed to be a spark in your eyes.

“It’s a shame that Wednesday missed out on this. On you. But if she really for one second thinks you’re a bad person, she’s insane. I know you and what you’ve been doing is the kindest thing I’ve ever witnessed. So I’m asking you as a friend. Will you go to The Raven with me?”

The silence in his face drove you crazy. You hated waiting for answers. Hated seeing his emotionless face. The facade didn’t last long as he grinned. He had made his decision a long time ago. And frankly, there was no other option for him, either.

“Of course I’ll go with you.”

“Thank you! Xavier, you’re the best!”

With a screech you fell around his neck and he caught you from stumbling by snaking his arms around your waist. The full blown smile on your lips was enough to make his cheeks go warm. He softly rested his head on yours.

Had he always felt this fuzzy when around you?

———————————————————————

You looked absolutely stunning in all white. Bianca, Yoko and Kent had taken you shopping some while back and frankly, hanging out with friends was just what you needed. You were almost excited for today, even when a small part of you couldn’t help but miss Rowan.

You had worn the necklace he bought you for an anniversary once. The silver went perfectly with your white outfit. You wondered what he would have worn. A suit, of course. You would have helped him pick out accessories, would have helped him with his hair.

A soft tear slipped your eyes but you pushed it away almost immediately when you saw your friends coming to you. They had pregamed in the nightshade library, but you didn’t feel like coming. It was too painful still to go in there without him. He loved the library, loved the quietness of the place.

“Damn, [Y/N]? Is that really you?” Ajax joked and you grinned at the compliment.

“Yoko and I made our best efforts to get rid of the sadness for at least one night.” Bianca called with a grin.

It was true. Lately you’d been walking around unkempt. Your uniform way too big as you usually wore his blazer, a thing you would get in trouble for frequently. You always had the biggest dark circles, your cheeks were puffy from all the crying.

Today, none of that was present.

Xavier was in the back, a white suit hanging loosely along his wide frame. He was so much taller than Rowan, you sometimes forgot. But when you hugged him hello, it became obvious to you again. He smelled good, had put on some cologne.

“You do look amazing. It’s good to see you like this.”

He barely whispered it into your ear but it was enough to bring shivers down your spine. All the compliments, all the smiles from your friends and the way Xavier couldn’t stop looking at you. It made you feel incredible for the first time in a while.

You enjoyed yourself, dancing and drinking some of the unspiked drinks. You and your friends always kept in close proximity on the dancefloor as Xavier spun you around, making sure you only focused on him for now. God, you felt good.

Until Wednesday Addams made her entry.

You figured she wasn’t gonna wear all white. Dresscodes didn‘t matter to her. Much less did it matter to her who she took to the dance apparently. Your eyes narrowed in anger as you spotted Tyler.

You barely knew him, had met him at the coffee shop a few times. But you knew the way him and his friends would ridicule Rowan. Or Xavier. They tried with you, but stopped when you saw you weren’t affected by it.

It wasn’t fair, how they picked on the outcasts. For being different, for being someone else. To them, Rowan was an easy target. But you always defended him. And Tyler had fun being horrible to them.

You looked up at Xavier, who had just become awfully tense. His gaze was fixed on Wednesday, on the way her hips swung as she danced with Tyler. God, he was so hurt. You wrapped your hands around his neck, bringing his focus back to you. You would make sure he wouldn’t be bothered. Take care of his pain like he took care of yours.

“She’s not worth your attention, Xay. Don’t let that entitled brat ruin your evening. Or the stupid police chief’s son. They don’t even compare to you. They’re not worthy of your presence. Or your anger.”

Xavier looked at you in awe again. How did you always know what to say? With just one look you calmed him down. With just one look you could make him forget all about his sorrows.

Fuck. What was this feeling? And why did it have him so guilty, so torn? You were Rowan‘s partner, he never even thought of you like this until-

Until you started laying in his room. Until he noticed the way you breathed when you were asleep. Until he noticed how soft your skin was. Or how warm you felt when he pulled you plush against his body.

His hands brought you in closer. Pulled you in so you were pressed against his body tightly. You could feel your cheeks redden as you hid your head in his shoulder. A smile spread on your lips with how close you were. Had he always looked this good? Had he always been so enticing? So very handsome? You were so infatuated with Rowan, you didn’t even notice.

“I’m glad you asked me to the Raven.”

“I’m glad you said yes.”

“I would have never turned you down.”

Your voices were barely whispers as the song became slower and the two of you even closer if that was possible. His face was right above yours. You just had to tiptoe and your lips would meet his. You could see the way his eyes darted to your lips.

One move and you could ruin it all.

You inched in, stopping right before your lips could meet his. If you jumped this hurdle now, there was no return. You had ruined your friendship with Xavier. Had moved on from Rowan.

A drop on your forehead took you back into reality. You separated from Xavier as he too looked to find the source. Suddenly one drop became multiple. You could see the red stain the white cloth covering your body. Within seconds the panic started.

You didn’t even see the crowd fleeing. The red drops making it onto your skin had brought you right back. To the nightmares you had. In which you held Rowan as he bled out all over you. In which you knew the monster killed him. Tears started streaming down your face when finally you regained some sort of vision.

You didn’t have to look long to find Xavier. He was still right there, looking ahead. Your eyes followed his as you spotted her again. Wednesday, dancing in the red liquid like it was her home.

It wasn’t fair. That she was the one who got everything you ever wanted. She got to say goodbye to Rowan. Got to see who it was that hurt him. Got to see his last moments. And now she even got Xavier.

“[Y/N]! [Y/N], we have to leave!”

It was Bianca that had been shaking your shoulders as people stumbled all along the floor. And suddenly you heard the screams. The panic. And it was all too much. With tears streaming down your face you ran. To the only place that gave you solace.

His bed.

———————————————————————

The door shutting had brought you back to your senses. You were still shaking, even if the tears had stopped a while ago. You immediately scrambled up, not wanting to be seen in this position.

Xavier immediately came to your side as he saw how hurt you looked again. Fuck, did you think of Rowan again? Of course you would. Going to the Raven was a stupid idea. His heart stung as he saw what a mess you still were.

“I should leave.”

“What? [Y/N], no, you can stay. I can sleep in the shed if I have to-“

“No. This is your room, I shouldn’t even be-“

“Don’t be silly. You can always come here. God, you’re still drenched. Wait, let me-“

His feet swiftly took him to the bathroom, grabbing a towel and wrapping you in it. He had to chuckle at how adorable you looked as you sat down on the bed. His eyes trailed down to the sheets, a grimace on his face as he saw how stained they were.

“I’m afraid we have to wash those. I’m sorry, I know how much you enjoy that they-“

“It’s okay. They’re just sheets.”

“What?”

“They haven’t smelled like him in ages. I just didn’t know where else to go.”

Xavier looked at you now, a worried look on his face. For you to act so indifferent about the sheets when they would usually give you so much comfort? Something else was going on. Something was off.

“How about we get you out of these clothes first. You’ll catch a cold if you don’t change. I’ll give you something to wear. Then we can sit on my dry bed and talk, hm?”

“You don’t have to take care of me.”

“I want to.”

You could feel your cheeks blushing once again as Xavier grabbed your hand, squeezing it to reassure you. Gosh, how could he be so selfless even now? How could he make you feel so good even when you were at rock bottom just seconds earlier?

He stood now, pulling out some of his old clothes. It was a t-shirt that looked way too big for you. Paint stains had painted it in all types of colors. He also put a pair of sweatpants onto his bed, making sure you were comfortable.

“I’ll- I’ll go change in the bathroom. And you can change in here. You can just wrap yourself in my blankets if you feel like it. I’ll join you in a second.”

You nodded carefully as you watched Xavier leave towards the bathroom. Carefully you pushed out of your drenched outfit. You decided to just wear his shirt for now, it being too warm in his room anyways. Luckily your underwear had remained relatively dry.

You walked to his unmade bed, grabbing the blanket and pulling it around your body carefully. You had never sat on his bed, you just now realized. Had always made sure to stay in Rowan’s, not to cross any boundaries.

You realized just how much his blanket smelled of him. You had gotten used to the scent of him so much. When he would lay next to you in bed, it would lull you to sleep quietly. Something you always blamed on the exhaustion that crying brought with it.

“You can come back out if you’re done!”

You quietly shouted, knowing damn well he was too scared to impose. You knew he would never just walk out, possibly humiliating you.

You swallowed as you saw him. He was wearing just a pair of grey sweatpants, his shirt long abandoned. His hair was lose now, falling into his face, some locks still slightly wet. You blushed deeply as he walked over to you, sitting next to you.

Xavier grabbed your hand, his knuckles accidentally brushing against your thighs in the process. He didn’t even notice you abandoned the sweatpants until now. He blushed, but never hesitated to intertwine your fingers with his.

“Why are you so upset?”

“It’s silly. I don’t want to talk about it.”

“Humor me.”

Your eyes shot up to his. He encouraged you to talk to him. That was new. A deep sigh escaped your lungs as you began to speak.

“I had so much fun tonight. I really forgot all the pain and what I went through. It was going so well and then- then some Normie pricks had to ruin the perfect evening.”

You swallowed hard as tears threatened to spill once more. Xavier was quick to pull you against him, his arms wrapping around your shoulders. You took it, needing some sort of comfort. But you didn’t fail to notice just how warm he was.

“That’s not silly, [Y/N]. For what it’s worth, I also enjoyed spending the evening with you.”

“Oh please.”

You scoffed at him. You couldn’t believe him, even if you wanted to. You saw the way he looked at Wednesday, saw the way she enthralled him. He grabbed you by the shoulders, holding you to look at him. Why were you doubting him all of a sudden?

“I’m sure you were happy the stupid prank saved you. God, you ogled at Wednesday as she danced in the mess.”

“[Y/N], I didn’t-“

“Didn’t what, Xavier? You were scared to be the rebound. Well guess what, right now it feels like I am.”

His eyes were shocked. He hadn’t seem you this upset with him before. And it stung, to hear your harsh words. You had gotten it all wrong. He had to explain, had to tell you what was happening. Carefully he grabbed your face, forcing you to look at him.

“You are not a rebound. You never were. I wanted to go with you. You make me so happy. You soothe me in seconds and are an incredible person. I looked at Wednesday, sure. Cause she looked absolutely insane. I was wondering how I could have ever been upset about her when the one I really wanted was right in front of me.”

You blushed now, a soft tear spilling down your cheek. You didn’t even know how much he cared. God, you were so dumb. How could you ever doubt him, how could you ever think he didn’t want you? If it wasn’t for the prank, you’re sure he would have-

He was looking at you again. Looking straight at your lips as he inched in. He softly wiped the tear off your cheek, making sure you were no longer upset. He knew he couldn’t have you. But he wanted you so badly.

“I know you’re not ready. I know you probably thought of Rowan all night. You said it yourself, I wasn’t your first choice. But know that I’m right here if you need me. Say the word and I’m yours.”

You interrupted him with a peck to his lips. He looked at you, surprised. You had just kissed him. He wasn’t dreaming, right? Carefully he moved one of his hands to the nape of your neck as he pulled you in once again.

The kiss was slow, sensual. It was intimate in a way you haven’t felt in a while. If ever. You had missed this. Had missed the sparks flying between two people as they kissed. The way you felt like time stopped.

To say you and Rowan didn’t have your issues would have been a simple lie. He had been losing it long before Wednesday came to school and frankly, you hated the person he became then. But even then, Xavier was there to notice. To call Rowan out on how he treated you. It was why he urged the others to kick him out of the nightshades.

He had liked you for a long time. And he was sure you felt the same way. Wednesday’s arrival and Rowan’s death had held you back from acting out. Still, it brought you so much closer. Xavier pulled back, carefully catching his breath.

“We should stop. I don’t want to push you to something you’re not ready for.”

“I think I’ve been ready for ages. I was jealous when you looked at Wednesday. Because once again she got what I wanted. She had you. Or so I thought.”

Xavier couldn’t hold back now. He pushed you back, softly laying you down on his pillows as he kissed you again.

———————————————————————

You fell back as Xavier took control. The blanket had long been pushed off the bed as he softly kissed your lips, making sure you were comfortable. He was impatient, but he wanted to make sure that you were alright with every single move.

“Tell me to stop and I’ll stop.”

“Shut up and kiss me.”

You pulled him in by his hair, your hands tangling in them immediately. He was so gentle, so soft yet you could feel a need behind his eyes. You had every intention of unlocking that need.

You ground your hips into his, making sure to let him know you were just as needy as he was. He groaned as his hands clasped at the shirt you were wearing. Quickly he pulled it off you, discarding it to the side. You had no time to feel shame. Not when Xavier was leaving breathy kisses against your neck, causing you to breathe heavily.

You gripped his shoulders for support as he sucked softly. A grin spread on his lips at your reactions. He knew you were vocal, he had walked in on you and Rowan one too many times. But to hear you react to him instead, it gave him a newfound confidence.

He gnawed at your skin, making sure to leave marks. He didn’t even care who saw. He just wanted to make sure everyone knew that you had finally moved on. That you were once again off the market, that you were his. Were you his?

“God, please, I need you.”

He chuckled softly at your words, like you had read his mind. His kisses trailed further down your torso and down your stomach. His hands gripped your sides like a vice but he was keen on pleasing you.

With a little help from your telekinetic powers you pushed him off you, pressing him against the wall behind his bed for just a second. No, you were not gonna let him do this. Not like this. Carefully you let him go again as you stood from the bed. He looked confused, worried.

“Did I do something wrong?”

“No.” you knelt, pulling his body to you with the snap of your wrist. “I’m not letting you take care of me again. It’s my turn to give back.”

A grin spread onto your lips as you held onto his thighs. He looked shocked, surprised even. You were really kneeling in front of him, offering to take care of him. He must be dreaming. Must be in one of his twisted wet dreams that he sometimes had, especially when you snuggled into him as you slept.

You grabbed the waistband of his sweatpants now, pulling them off his legs. He helped, keen on letting you do your work. He had skipped the underwear of course, leaving him exposed and hard in front of you. He was already dripping with precum.

You bit your lip for one second at the sight. So the rumors were true. Bianca had mentioned some things back in the day, some you never paid much attention to. But the taller the man, the bigger certain features was something that rang true.

“You don’t have to- Holy shit.”

You didn’t even let him finish as you licked along his tip, swallowing up his precum. You had some experience. You weren’t new to dating, after all. So you also knew exactly which moves to use to make a man happy.

Your tongue kept swirling around his tip, licking up and down his head. The groans escaping his body were heaven to your ears. You pulled back for a second, only to lick up his shaft, engulfing his head in your mouth.

Xavier knew then he was a goner. His hands gripped the sheets as he watched you carefully. You started bopping your head at your own pace, intended on making him have some fun. And boy, was he having it.

You pushed yourself even further onto his dick, until his tip touched the back of your throat. Xavier groaned so hard he could have cum right there. He could feel you gagging around him, could feel you trying everything to make him happy.

He pulled you off him after a while and you looked up at him with sad eyes. Did you do something wrong? Did you mess up? Did he not want you anymore? Softly he grabbed your chin, making you look up at him. A smile plastered his face as his thumb softly swiped over your lip.

“I’m not gonna last long if you’re this good to me. And I wanna feel you around me as I do.”

You could feel yourself blush as he pulled you back up the bed. He sat you on his lap, but not before pulling your underwear to the ground. Your eyes widened as he massaged your thighs, all whilst his hard dick was pressing against you.

“You’re sure you still want this?”

“More than ever.”

He didn’t have to prep you much. He knew you were ready, knew you could take him. He spat on his hand, lubing up his manhood so he could make it easier for you. He lifted your hips just slightly before he pushed you onto him.

You could feel him press against your walls, could feel the way you squeezed around him. He was slow, lowering you step by step. He did not want to hurt you. Ever. You moaned, biting your lips as he bottomed out.

“You take me so well.”

“Mhh I can feel you so deep.”

“I know. I can feel you clench around me.”

He started rolling his hips up, thrusting into you. He was slow, making sure to get you used to his size first. His arms wrapped around your waist, holding you as close to him as possible.

You didn’t even notice you were looking right at Rowan’s bed. One you had done oh so similar things in quite a few times. But you couldn’t even remember. Remember what his lips felt like, remember what he felt like. Remember his smell.

You had finally let go.

All you could smell now was Xavier. All you could feel was how his arms held you in place, how he pushed into you. The way he groaned against you. It was so much, all too much. You couldn’t even think straight, too cockdrunk as he kept thrusting into you, now harder and faster.

All you could think about was him.

Xavier. Xavier. Xavier. A few times his name even slipped out of your mouth as you neared your own release, loud moans spilling out of you. You were so close. So very close.

“Xavier, I’m gonna-“

“Cum for me. Please, let go. Take what you need.”

He didn’t have to tell you twice as your body started convulsing against his. Your thighs trembled as you rode out your high. He held you close, making sure your tired body doesn’t just topple off him to the ground. He knew the way you looked when you were exhausted. But this time it was for all the right reasons.

He stilled, waiting on you to come back to him. After a while you did and he placed soft kisses along the back of your neck. His fingers softly tapped along your thighs and you chuckled a bit at his antics.

“Why did you stop moving?”

“We don’t have to continue of you’re too spent.”

“We are not stopping until we’re both satisfied.”

You took the reigns now, holding onto his arms as you started moving your hips once again. You were overstimulated, your legs wobbly, but you wanted to have him find his own relief.

The kisses he pressed into your neck became sloppier as he met your movements with his own thrusts. You could feel he was getting close, his dick twitching every now and then and his moves becoming more uncontrolled.

With a loud groan he shot his load right into you. He pushed you into his lap as his hips stuttered, his cum filling you up. He hadn’t done this in a while. You could tell by how hard his orgasm hit him.

Xavier stilled for a while, his breathing heavy. He gave you a sign before moving you out of him, his cum spilling all over his own legs. His face distorted at the feeling, causing you to chuckle. He grabbed a few tissues from his nightstand, cleaning both you and him up.

Carefully you got back into your underwear and his shirt and he followed part, pulling his sweatpants over his hips. You didn’t know what you needed more, a shower or sleep. Xavier decided for you as he pulled you into his arms, picking up the blanket and pulling it over the two of you.

You turned to face him, looking up at his soft face. He was tired but happy. You were sure you looked similar to him, very much spent. The two of you should have done this ages ago.

“If this is what I get I will gladly be the rebound.”

“I told you, you’re not the rebound, Xavier. You always should have been my first choice.”

#xavier thorpe #xavier thorpe x reader #xavier thorpe x you #xavier thorpe imagine #xavier thorpe smut #wednesday #nightshades #rowan laslow #rowan laslow x reader

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humblequestvinyl · 8 months

Text

dial drunk

DIAL DRUNK, FISHER BROTHERS X SISTER!READER!

APART OF THE ‘WE’LL ALL BE HERE FOREVER’ SERIES,

SUMMARY: after susannah fisher’s favorite holiday, and the fisher siblings throwing one last house party, y/n fisher dials drunk the one person she thinks could save the house.

inspired by dial drunk by noah kahan

◀ ⏸ ▶

lowercase is intentional! wc: 2.4k

warnings: heavy drinking, cursing, a breakdown, fighting & s2 ep 6 spoilers (kinda!)

a/n: i’ve been OBSESSED with 5sos lately but omg 1989tv soon??? also THE SCENE WITH BELLY AND SUSANNAH?? killed me absolutely! anyway possibly taking a quick break with this series and hopping on another on the way series quickly! <333

THE HANGOVER Y/N WOKE UP WITH THE NEXT MORNING WAS WORSE THAN SHE EXPECTED.

and definitely not where she expected to wake up.

seeing her bedroom surrounding her, with a collage of pictures, and taylor swift vinyls hanging from the wall wasn’t what she expected, but yet, here she was.

she also didn’t expect to hear yelling coming from downstairs.

so as the h/c slipped on a sweatshirt, she slowly made her way down the hall, hearing her brothers arguing– actually yelling at someone, and to say the least, she was surprised. jeremiah never yelled, and when he did he was absolutely pissed.

“you never even cared enough to come here in the summertime! this is mom’s place and the only thing we’ve got left of her!”y/n heard conrad yell as she finally made it to the entryway of the kitchen, seeing her brothers with their backs to her, but her e/c eyes met matching ones.

“what is he doing here?”y/n questioned, and her brothers heads snapped towards her, and they could see anger flash through her eyes before she locked it down, keeping a blank face.

“the bigger question is what are the three of you doing here?”their father, adam questioned as y/n pushed towards the front of her brothers, staring her father directly in the face, “you three aren’t supposed to be here and you know that!”

“and?”y/n shrugged, grabbing a bottle of water from the cabinet knowing she needed it, “it took you over a week to realize the three of us were here, and one minor was left unattended. i don’t really think us being here is that big of a deal.”

“it really is.”adam told her sternly, and she threw her hands up in the air, fed up with her father, “why! please enlighten me on why it is that big of a deal that we are here!”

“we’re here every single summer and i don’t see why us keeping that-”y/n’s rant was cut off by conrad, with a solemn look on his face knowing the news he was about to break was going to kill his baby sister.

“y/n he’s selling the house.”

y/n’s face dropped as she looked dead into her fathers eyes, knowing deep down her eldest brother was right, but she refused to believe it.

“tell me he’s kidding.”she begged, knowing that if they lost this house, the final nail in the coffin to her childhood would be gone, “tell me this is some type of sick fucking joke!”

“it’s not.”adam pressed his lips into a fine line, seeing his youngest’s face drop but no emotion escaped from his except for anger, “you three need to leave by the end of this week. all of your belongings out of the house and back to boston.”

y/n stood there for a few moments, before glancing over at conrad and jeremiah who both shook their heads, telling her there wasn’t anything they’d be able to do.

after a few moments, the h/c girl turned back to her father, with a stone cold face knowing if she didn’t her anger would take over, “no.”

“no?”adam questioned, seeing what susannah always called ‘his mini me’ staring right back at him, “i am your father y/n, i am the one in charge here-”

“mom left me a trust. i want to use it.”she reminded him, and adam shook his head, “it is my trust, it is under my name-”

“you don’t have access to it until you’re 21.”conrad spoke up, causing y/n to snap her head towards him, “beast we’ve tried everything.”

the two stared at each other, before adam grabbed his things, and walked through them towards the front door, “you three have until friday!”

y/n watched as the photos that hung of her mother and laurel shake as her father slammed the front door, and it wasn’t long before his car had left the driveway leaving the fisher siblings alone once again.

“there has to be something else we can do.”y/n broke the silence as she started to pace the kitchen, “there has to be fucking something!”

“there’s nothing else that we can do n/n.”jeremiah spoke up, with worry filling him knowing his baby sister was about to snap, “we’ve tried absolutely everything.”

“there has to be something else!”she yelled, leaving her brothers standing there in shock, before she pushed past them, grabbing her phone and wallet, leaving the house.

as they always said, like father, like daughter.

—-

IT WAS HOURS BEFORE Y/N HAD RETURNED BACK TO THE SUMMER HOUSE.

doing everything she could to brainstorm to try and get the house to stay in their possession, and not go to some random family who wouldn’t make the same memories that they had.

when she finally returned back to the house with another coffee in her hand, she noticed a different car in the driveway that hadn’t been there when she left. walking into the house, she heard a laughter coming from the kitchen, just like how it should’ve been.

“i’m telling you as soon as y/n get’s back we’re planning this out.”jeremiah chuckled right as y/n peaked her head into the kitchen, and a small smile spread across her face seeing some of her favorite people.

“what the hell are you two doing here?”y/n questioned as belly conklin tackled the girl into a hug, and she saw steven chuckling in the background.

“one last summer blowout at beck’s house.”conrad told her, causing a bigger smile to spread across her face knowing they were about to have the time of their lives, “tomorrow night around 8.”

“when do we start decorating?”y/n questioned with a shimmer of joy in her eyes, something the fisher boys hadn’t seen in almost two months.

“we go shopping tomorrow, but for tonight we’re just going to enjoy everything.”steven explained, before giving the girl a wide smile,

“now come here, i still haven’t gotten a hug yet!”

—-

IT WAS OVER TWENTY-FOUR HOURS LATER THAT BOTH BELLY AND Y/N SAT IN Y/N’S ROOM GETTING READY FOR THE PARTY,

both in retro outfits, and belly sat in front of the h/c girl, putting purple eyeshadow on her to match the shirt she was wearing.

“so how are things with you and emerson?”belly brought up as she went to grab another color, and y/n shrugged, not really knowing how to answer that question, “its going.”

“i hadn’t talked to her since the funeral, and then two nights ago she was at the same party i was at, and i was drunk.”y/n explained as belly finished up the girls eye makeup, and went to grab lipstick, “and the next morning i woke up to find out that my dad was selling the house.”

“try and talk to her tonight.”belly told the girl as she painted her lips a dark red, “she loves you a lot y/n and she knows that you didn’t push her away for shits and giggles.”

“if i’m not so drunk by the time we can talk then yeah, i’ll talk to her.”y/n mumbled as belly gave the girl a soft smile knowing that she never meant to push away the one girl she loved the most.

quickly standing up, belly helped the sixteen year old up, and wrapped her in a tight side hug as they started to exit her room and go downstairs, “c’mon, we’ve got some partying to do.”

as soon as the two made it to the bottom of the stairs, they strapped on the roller blades they had found in the garage, and started to skate around the house while karma by taylor swift was blasting through the speakers cam cameron had found.

it was a few hours before y/n had actually found emerson, and when she did, she was drunk. a bottle of vodka in her hand, and a wide smile on her face as soon as she spotted the brunette standing at the kitchen island talking with her older brothers.

“emmy!”the e/c girl exclaimed, causing emerson to have a small smile on her face as she saw y/n skating towards her, “where have you been?”

“right here sweet girl.”emerson chuckled as she wrapped an arm around the girls waist, making sure she didn’t lose balance and fall, “didn’t know you could skate n/n.”

“when i was little i wanted to be a figure skater.”y/n grinned, before letting out a gasp and turning towards conrad who was standing right beside emerson, “do you still have the polaroid camera?”

conrad nodded, before y/n turned towards emerson with the biggest grin on her face, “emmy we’ve gotta take one.”

“and so we do my girl.”emerson nodded, before conrad stepped in front of the two and y/n wrapped her arms around emerson’s neck.

a flash lit up the dark room before the photo printed, and conrad had handed it to his little sister as she waited for it to develop before she went off to somewhere else, presumably to change the music considering it had changed to some type of country song she hated.

“that’s so cute!”the fisher girl exclaimed as soon as it developed, before she turned to emerson, “can you hold this?”

emerson nodded, before gently taking the polaroid she knew the girl would cherish, and y/n grinned, pressing a quick kiss to the brunettes cheek, “thank you!”

and with that she skated off, finding belly and the two skated towards the room where cam cameron was DJing, requesting the song be changed.

hours had passed since emerson had last seen y/n, and she quickly found the girl standing in the ocean, with the bottle of vodka almost gone.

“whatcha doing out here?”emerson questioned as she joined the girl, standing right next to her and y/n took another swig of the vodka.

“too suffocating.”

the girls stood in silence for a few moments before y/n felt a tear slip down her face, and she took another sip from the almost empty bottle in her hands, “my dads selling the house.”

“i know.”

y/n let the bottle slip through her hands and crash into the ocean as she turned to look at emerson with her mouth slightly open, “you what-”

“i’ve known for awhile sunshine.”emerson told the girl softly, and anger spread across the h/c girl’s face.

“you fucking what!”she yelled as she stumbled back, and emerson quickly grabbed the girl before picking her up bridal style, carrying her out of the water.

“emerson scott let me fucking go!”y/n yelled, but emerson didn’t listen until they were a good distance away from the water, gently putting the girl on her feet, “emerson what the fuck!”

“y/n you’re drunk.”emerson told the girl, trying to stay calm knowing that the girl she loved was about to explode.

“you knew and you didn’t tell me?”y/n shouted as she stumbled back a bit, “you saw the for sale sign and didn’t have the common courtesy to call me?”

“you know how much this house means to my brothers, the conklin’s and i, and yet you didn’t call any-!”y/n was cut off by emerson shaking her head, “i called conrad.”

“oh so you can call conrad but you can’t bother to call the girl who you claim to love the most!”y/n threw her hands up in the air as she had tears involuntarily slipping down her face, “i can’t fucking believe you wouldn’t call me about this!”

“y/n when i called conrad to tell him and i bought up the fact that i was going to call you next, he told me not to.”she explained and y/n gave her a look with glossy e/c eyes, causing the brunette to realize that she was too far gone to realize what she was saying.

“fucking forget it!”y/n yelled as she stormed towards the house where some shitty morgan wallen song was playing, and ran up the stairs, tripping on the last one before she was able to make it into her room.

a sob broke from the girls lips as she locked her door, before lying down on her bed and flipping to her contacts to call the only person who could help them. it rang four times before it went to voicemail, causing a sob to rip through the girl knowing that nothing was fine.

“this is laurel parks, please leave a message and i’ll get back to you as soon as i can.”laurel’s voice spoke through the phone, before a beep rang through the phone, and the girl sobbed.

“laurel,”y/n sobbed, gripping the roots of her hair, “we need you.”

“dad’s selling the summer house to someone and won’t even hear conrad, jeremiah and i out on it and–” another loud sob broke through the girl, not feeling heartbreak this bad since her mom had died, “he can’t sell the house! we need to keep this house.”

“and i want my mom back.”y/n continued to cry, letting everything she had been feeling the last two months go, “conrads going to miss his exams and i fought with emerson and everything is wrong!”

“laurel please.”y/n begged as she felt her eyes getting heavier from the crying and the alcohol, “please just come and fix it.”

with that, the voicemail ended, and the girl slowly drifted off to sleep with tears streaming down her face like there was no tomorrow, and her phone slowly slipping out of her hand, onto the bed.

little did the fisher girl know, she had just dialed drunk the only person who would be able to save the summer house.

#conrad fisher imagine #tsitp angst #the summer i turned pretty angst #belly conklin #conrad fisher #conrad fisher x reader #jeremiah fisher x sister!reader #jeremiah fisher angst #jeremiah fisher fluff #conrad fisher angst #tsitp spoilers #jeremiah fisher imagine #jeremiah fisher x reader #conrad fisher x you #we'll all be here forever series

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asterdisaster06 · 6 months

Text

Reunion with the 141 boys + König

141 + König x reader - separately

summary > You stumble upon an old friend - or more - that you never forgot but thought was long gone.

word count > 2.5k

a/n > probable hiatus for a bit while I get my webtoon ideas out of me and back into writing full fledged stories

ao3

Simon “Ghost” Riley

“Simon?”

“Shit, love,” He replies, staring at you like he’s seen a ghost. Irony that you would look back on another time.

“Where have you been all this time?” You ask, tears welling up in your eyes. Tears that you couldn’t quite pinpoint the exact emotion behind them. Hurt, relief, excitement, dread, disbelief. You take a shaky breath and stumble towards the tall figure. Your frame shakes as you reach a hand out to cup his face, almost convinced that it’s a simple mirage. A ghost haunting you all this time.

“. . . Working,” Simon replies, placing his hand over yours.

“Out there saving the world, huh?”

“I wouldn’t quite say that,” He says, his eyes expressing everything that he couldn’t tell you. The deep brown eyes swirling with anxiety at the very thought of your responses.

“What happened, Simon? Why didn’t I hear from you all this time? Do you have any idea how worried I’ve been?” You rapid-fire these questions at him, your voice breaking as you do so.

“I know, love, I know. I’m so fucking sorry. There hasn’t been a single day that’s gone by that I’ve forgotten about you, but I was forbidden from talking to you. I thought it was easier this way, to let you go rather than force you to stick around for someone that might not even escape alive.”

“I sold the apartment, I moved to the outskirts of town, I adopted a dog; but I never moved on, never got rid of your stuff, called every week to see if you were even alive,” You cry out, leaning your forehead against the chest of the man you used to cook breakfast with.

“I’m here now, I’m here. I’ll get you flowers, kiss every tear from your cheek, spend the entire rest of my life by your side if you would let me, sweetheart,” Simon whispers, rubbing soothing circles on your back. “I promise.”

John “Soap” MacTavish

“MacTavish?”

“Bonnie?”

“Welcome home?” You say, tears of happiness welling up in your eyes. You’re suddenly crushed in a bear hug that left you unable to breathe in the best way possible.

“What are you doing here, sweets?” Soap asked, taking a step back if only to stare intently at your face, studying it as if it was a simple mirage.

“Your family kinda kidnapped me,” You laugh, a beautiful sound for the man so accustomed to gunshots and screams.

“I would expect nothing less. I’ve missed you so damn much, you don’t even know,” He says, enveloping you in another hug. Similar to the kind you did around the stuffed animal - the one had gifted you before he was deployed - of yours every night.

“I think I do know, considering the fact that I’ve missed you twice as much,” You tease with a sly smile.

“Oh, I don’t think so, Bonnie. I think I missed you infinitely more than you did for little ole me,” Soap grins, a contagious thing that infected you like the flu.

“You haven’t changed one bit, MacTavish. Not one bit.”

“I think of that as a win, especially since you were so very in love with me whenever I left,” Soap says softly, his eyes betraying his regret and sadness at having to leave you for so long.

“I still am, you dafty,” You speak, cupping his face in your soft hands.

“I love you, so very much. I’m so happy to be back to you, and this time it’s going to be for a while. I promise you that. We’ll have all the time in the world to go on those little date ideas you wrote to me about, and I’ll take you out to dinner - wine and dine you if you know what I mean,” The Scotsman said with a wink at the end.

“Knock it off, MacTavish,” You say, grinning from ear to ear.

“Alright, only if I can kiss you, Sweets,” Soap asks, always the charmer.

“Alright. . . only if you plan to make up for all the kisses you promised over the phone,” You state with a cheeky smile.

“I think we could work something out,” Your lover speaks, kissing you with all of the passion and longing that’s been ruminating across the year you had been unable to see each other. It was filled with gentle sweet nothings and a desperation that was only able to be expressed in person. It was a promise, one to make up for all of the time away. And an apology on top of that. One that you forgave quickly as you melted into Soap’s soft embrace.

John Price

“John?”

“What are you doing here, love?”

“How long have you been here?” You ask, deflecting his question.

“How long has it been?” He smiles sadly. It was both a question and an answer, one that ripped your heart to shreds.

“You’ve been here all this time? All these months? And you never once thought to inform me that we’ve been stationed here, on the same base?” You cry out, your calm and collected facade breaking quickly.

“You look so different. . .”

“John, answer my question. What happened? Why didn’t I hear from you all this time? Do you have any idea how worried I’ve been thinking you were dead, or worse?”

“I’m so sorry, love-”

“Bullshit! I missed you so damn much, cried over you almost every night, I never thought I’d be able to see your face again, and here you are safe and sound! I wish I could be happy about that fact, but right now I’m just pissed,” You exclaim, your body starting to shake from the pure agony running through your nervous system.

“I wish I could give you an answer that would satisfy you, soothe your pain, but I can’t,” Price says, taking a tentative step towards you. Like you were a frightened animal.

“Try, just try. That’s all I’m asking,” You plead.

“Shepherd knew about us. He offered me an ultimatum. Be charged for fraternization or go into deep cover. I considered private pain to be better than the public argument, and he promised me I could explain before I left. Obviously that did not occur, and for that I am so very sorry,” Price explained, taking another stumbling step after the other until he was close enough to cup your face in his hands. Rough hands that have killed more men than either one of you would like to admit, but also the very same hands that have held you as you slept. The very same that have held your hand to keep you from wandering off when you got too excited by distracting environments off base. The same hands that are currently wiping your tears away.

“I’ve missed you,” Is all you manage to say in response.

“Fuck, I know, love, I know. I wish I fought harder for you,” John whispers,

“I don’t blame you, not as much. I know how much your job means to you. I also know that I would do the same for you, for us,” You reply after a lapse of silence - broken only by the shaky breaths both of you shared.

“That doesn’t mean that we had to let superiors get in the way of us - not completely at least.”

“You were sent undercover for months,” You say, mostly to yourself. Unable to believe that fact. You knew first hand what it was like based on your position and personal experience, and it was something you would have never wished upon John. Not even minutes previously when you were furious with every fiber of his being.

“I’d prefer not to recall those times, love,” Price mumbles, rubbing gentle circles over your skin.

“What do we do now?” You ask, hesitant in your words.

“What we always should’ve done, been able to do. Fall in love and be able to express it in all aspects of our lives,” Price promises, holding you close to him.

“You know that Shepherd will make our lives a living hell if he finds out,” You mention, your body simultaneously relaxing at the fact that Price still loved you enough to risk everything, but tensing at the fact that it truly was his entire life on the line.

“Fuck Shepherd. He’s kept me from you for long enough, and made sure of the fact that I have so much to make up to you. Starting today, and taking it one day at a time. I swear on my life that I will never let anything get in the way of my love for you if I can help it. And if I can’t, whatever is stopping me better pray to whatever they believe in,” Price says sincerely, making a smile come across your face at his seriousness.

“There’s that beautiful smile, love. Oh how I’ve missed that. It has got to be one of the only things that kept me going all those months without you.”

“John?”

“Yes, my love?” He replies quickly, so eager to please after his involuntary betrayal.

“I forgive you,” You murmur into the crook of his neck.

“I don’t deserve you, angel, never have,” Price speaks softly, his once forgotten voice sending shivers down your spine.

“You always have, John, always.”

“I promise, my love, I promise that I’ll always make sure to prove to you that I do until the day I die. And for the rest of eternity after that.”

“I love you.”

“I love you too, forever and always.”

Kyle “Gaz” Garrick

“Kyle?”

“Love?”

“It’s been a long time since I last saw you. How are you keeping up?” You ask, nervously fiddling with the luke-warm coffee cup in front of you.

“I’ve been surviving, and you?” Gaz responds, taking a seat in front of you.

“Living to the best of my ability. It’s good to see you’re okay, Gaz. I was starting to worry you had gone and gotten yourself killed,” You say with a bittersweet smile tainting your features.

“Hell, not even falling out of a helicopter could end me, so I think I’m doing pretty alright for myself,” He says with a chuckle.

“Since when did you fall out of a helicopter?” You laugh incredulously, beginning to slip back into old, childhood habits.

“Since . . .” Kyle starts, holding up his fingers to count, “About two weeks ago.”

A wide grin had taken its place on his face as you started laughing at the absurdity of it all. It reminded you so much of the clumsy nature of the lanky teen you had befriended so many years ago. It had never evolved to anything beyond uncoordinated first kisses and awkward hand holding for a week after you two decided you were better off as friends. Friends you were however, the best of them all the way up to this point. You had supported his dreams and ambitions and in return you got to see the fruits of his efforts blossom into something you were both proud of. He was always there for you too, through all the ups and downs of trying to find a relationship in the dating world. Harder than you thought it would be, but you always had Kyle to fall back on. Something you were incredibly thankful for.

“Do you remember when we got locked in the mall after closing?”

“That was a long time ago, huh? I’m sure you’re still the same as always,” Gaz says with a quirk at the edge of his lips. The very same that you were currently staring at.

“I’ll have you know that I have a much better perception of closing times now, you dork,” You say, kicking him under the table.

“Oh yeah? Do you wanna put that to the test?” Gaz smiles inquisitively, almost hesitant in his words.

“Are you, Kyle Garrick, asking me out?” You ask, taking a risk.

“Are you accepting my offer?” Kyle coaxed, a warm flush creeping across his cheeks.

“I think I’ve been waiting for this moment ever since you’ve left to go save the world,” You tease, warmth flowing through your veins.

“The idea of you, us, is what’s kept me alive all these years, love,” Kyle says softly.

“Why don’t we make that a reality, Garrick,” You express, sending a loving look his way.

“I don’t think I could ever want anything more than I do that, sweetheart. I want to spend the rest of my life by your side, if you would let me.”

“And I you, but this place is also about to close, so I think it’s time we hit the road,” You laugh.

“Shit, love. You really have gotten better at your time management.”

König

“König?”

“Liebling?”

“I’ve missed you.”

“And I you, Schatz,” He says, turning to focus on the sight of you under the streetlamp.

“I presume Kortac has made some contracts around here. I don’t take you guys for the type to go on vacation, especially around these parts,” You say mirthfully, a gentle smile painted across your face.

“Ah, yes. We would be responsible for the curfew and extreme supervision. My apologies,” König replies, rubbing the back of his neck.

“Don’t apologize. If anything, it’s a blessing to have you looking over my shoulder for me. That, and how else would we have met up again?” You chuckle.

“I did tell you that I would find my way back to you,” He claims, taking a small - as small as someone of his stature could - step towards you. Oddly cautious for someone that feared nothing on the battlefield.

“That you did, König. I just didn’t quite expect you to show up this soon. Or in this particular way.”

“Are you unhappy with me being here?” Asked with a semblance of doubt, searching your features for any negative emotion.

“No, of course not. Of course not. It’s good to see you again. I’ve dreamt of this moment in my downtime, when I sleep, when I miss you. Which is a lot,” You answer honestly.

“I’ve counted down the minutes to being able to see you again, Liebling.”

“Do you remember what you promised me before you left?”

“I do recall a specific promise, yes,” König acknowledges. “It was a dinner at our favorite little place on the corner, correct, Schatz?”

“Once a good memory, always a good memory, Liebe,” You tease. He had always been the one to remind you of test dates way back when you were in school. The pet name of yours brings a slight flush to the cheeks of the Austrian man, a humorous sight if you were a bystander.

“Would you still like to accompany me?” König asks, holding a hand out. One that you took and interlocked your fingers into his gloved ones. It was a comforting sensation.

“If you would still like to take me.”

“Always, Liebling, always.”

#ao3 #cod fic #cod mw2 #fanfic #mw2 141 #cod 141 #john soap mactavish #mw2 #simon ghost riley #angst #hurt/aftermath #hurt/comfort #fluff #x reader #angst with a happy ending #john price #kyle gaz garrick #konig mw2

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bloatedandalone04 · 1 year

Text

The End of Love

➪the one where you break up but still love each other. (requested-ish)

Warnings: angst, fluff, break ups, swearing, gaslighting

Inspired by the song 'The End of Love' by Florence + The Machine

Word Count: 3.3k

Do not repost this anywhere, reblogs are fine <3

The buildings intimated you in the best way.

You look up and have to squint, even though you were wearing sunglasses. The sun was high and had no clouds whatsoever to hide behind, making the heat shine down on you.

It didn’t bother you, though.

How could you be bothered when you had the perfect guy next to you? The same guy who had been next to you since junior year of high school, as well as the guy who promised you that university wouldn’t change anything between the two of you. Oh, how you wished that were true. You wished you knew how bad things would end. Maybe if you did, you could’ve saved yourself from the heartbreak.

But that was later.

Right now, you were in awe.

“I knew it was going to be big, but I never imagined New York being this massive,” you say, barely able to catch your breath. “How will we find the time to explore everything before school starts?”

“We have all summer,” Ethan says as he wraps his arm around your shoulder. The two of you continue to walk down one of the many streets that made up the big city, your eyes looking everywhere in hopes to take everything in all at once. “And even when school starts back up again, we’ll still find time to explore together. We’re going to be fine.”

“You promise?” You ask and tilt your head up to look at him.

Ethan laughed and nodded, leaning down to kiss you quickly. “I promise,”

You were three seconds away from pulling your hair out.

You knew education after high school would be hard but you weren’t aware that it would be this fucking brutal. You were tired and stressed and annoyed and about this close to throwing your textbooks at Sam and Tara as they once again got into another argument.

Gripping your pen tighter, your mind goes back to Sam’s apologetic smile and her kind words of, “I’m sorry we were so loud earlier. We’ll be more quiet next time, Tara just frustrates me sometimes,” and then fast forward to an hour later when they began bickering again.

You tried to focus your attention on your school work, but your mind was somewhere else completely. You look over at your phone and debate whether or not to pick it up and send Ethan another text. He probably wouldn’t answer it, anyway, as the last three you’ve sent him had been left on delivered.

Six whole hours had gone by since you sent the first one, another three since the second and just one since the last. He had to be busy, right? Maybe he was trying to get some work done, too, and turned his phone off or something.

Still, it would’ve been nice to receive just one text saying that he couldn’t talk right now and that he’d call you later.

Instead of unlocking your phone when you reach for it, you toss it even further away from you on the bed in hopes the distance would make it so you didn’t feel the need to constantly keep checking it.

You would just keep disappointing yourself if you were to open your messages and see the same stupid words.

Delivered an hour ago. Three hours ago. Six hours ago.

Seriously, what the fuck was he doing that was so important he couldn’t find the time to send a quick text?

God, when did you turn into this kind of girlfriend? The one who drives herself crazy when she doesn’t receive a text back in a reasonable amount of time? Ethan never gave you a reason not to trust him, so why were you getting so annoyed at his lack of responses?

You take a deep breath before going back to the notes you took in class today. Though, as soon as you began reading, your phone went off and you grabbed it within seconds.

Eth <3: hey, sorry for not answering :/ i’ve been stuck in lectures all day and left my phone at the apartment. i just got home now

It was embarrassing how quickly you began typing a response.

No worries, glad you’re alive

Eth <3: haha

Your brows furrowed at his unusual short response and your thumbs started moving again without a second thought.

What are you doing now? Want to come save me from The Bickersons? The sisters aren’t getting along at all today

After hitting send, you set your phone back down and go back to reading over your notes, relieved at the fact that you were able to get into contact with your boyfriend.

During the middle of your mini study session, your phone went off again and you were surprised to see that it had been a full forty five minutes since you sent the last text.

Eth <3: sorry, babe, i can’t tonight. i’m going to that frat party with chad

Eth <3: maybe we can hang out tomorrow?

Disappointment settled in your chest as you read over the two messages again, your teeth sinking into your bottom lip. Hang out? It seemed weird for your boyfriend to suggest hanging out when he usually always just showed up or sent you a text that let you know he was on the way. There was never any planning, just doing.

You shake off the weird feeling that bubbled in your chest and answer his text.

That’s okay, I just miss you :) Tomorrow works for me

Eth <3: miss you too <3

You held back a scoff and tossed your phone to the end of your bed. Ethan’s short replies were unusual and made a sinking feeling form in your heart at the very real change that is currently happening in your relationship.

The next day came, and once again you found yourself unable to reach Ethan.

Hey, when did you want to hang out?

You cringed when you sent that text as you never referred to spending time with him as ‘hanging out’.

Half an hour went by before you sent a second text, and another hour before a third.

Did you want to check out that breakfast place we were talking about?

Are you even awake yet?

You assumed he wasn’t when another hour passed with radio silence on his end. Believing that was better than the alternative; he was ignoring you.

It was hard to believe that a whole twelve hours went by before your phone went off.

Eth <3: i’m so sorry, i forgot we had plans. i’ve been studying all day for that test on friday so i wasn’t near my phone

Plans? That’s news to you.

As far as you knew, Ethan asked you to hang out then completely ghosted you.

It was then when you found yourself slipping away and not bothering to reach out first anymore. It was a sad realisation that you two would go days without speaking or seeing each other and the only time he would talk to you was when you started a conversation or asked to spend a day with him.

The effort he was putting in was non-existent and you quickly found yourself putting in less and less effort as well.

You didn’t know what happened, but you knew when it happened.

You two were so happy during the summer, but now that school had started again it was as if you were dating a ghost. Though, really thinking about it, you were sure a ghost would respond to you more than Ethan does at this point.

An entire month went by with very little contact between you and Ethan, and to say you were losing hope in the relationship would be the biggest understatement of the century.

A total of fifteen texts were shared and you had only seen each other nine times. What kind of relationship were you in? It wasn’t normal at all and it wasn’t like either of you to be so distant with each other. You couldn’t help it, though. Ethan had failed to stay on top of replying to texts and it hurt you more than you cared to admit.

Though, the lack of communication was not just his fault. You had stopped texting him daily and instead only sent him a message every few days, some of which went unanswered completely. Instead of going over to his place or having him come over to yours, you only really saw him in between classes or at a party, and even that was rare.

Like the other night, both you and Ethan were invited to a frat party without either of you realising it. When you bumped into him and saw your boyfriend for the first time in five days, you were brought back to the good times you used to have with him. It was easy to forget how bad things had gotten.

You ended up staying with him for the rest of the night and the two of you acted like you were in a normal relationship still and ignored the very obvious tension that hung in the air.

It was nice to pretend for a night.

A day went by and you were back to not communicating once again. And the cycle continued.

You considered it a miracle when you both found the time to spend a day with each other, though you two were both far from how you used to be. Ethan moved around your apartment with the hesitation of a stranger, and you couldn’t think of one thing to say to him that would start a conversation.

Now here you were. You were sitting on the couch with Ethan right next to you, yet you felt so far away. There was an overwhelming sinking feeling in your chest and you knew what was coming. It was inevitable at this point, you both felt it.

It wasn’t working out.

School got in the way.

We’re going in different directions.

We’re just too busy.

It didn’t make you feel any better.

But then again…who actually felt good about ending a relationship where you used to be so happy, one where you two were so good together?

The silence was overwhelming and both of you were too scared to be the first one to talk as you knew that when one of you did…it would be over. A nearly three year relationship just over. It hurt to think about, let alone allow it to happen.

With a shaky breath, you look over at him to find him already looking at you. You give him a sad smile and he returns it, refraining from reaching over and taking your hand in his. Instead, he bit back his hesitation and mumbled, “This isn’t working out, is it?”

You look away quickly, biting down on your lower lip as you slowly shake your head. “It’s not,”

There it was. The end.

Ethan sighed as he played with the sleeves of his henley. “I’m sorry I couldn’t keep that promise,” he said quietly.

Your mind went back to the summertime and his promising words of ‘Even when school starts back up again….we’re going to be fine’.

But you weren’t fine.

His apology had your eyes watering and your lip quivering. Turning your head away from him so he wouldn’t see your face, you let a few tears fall. It was too much. You had thought you’d prepared yourself for this. Your relationship this past month was more like a friendship, and you were sure that things would be so different when you were over for good. The only reason you even saw him this month was because you both felt guilty about not putting in enough effort and just decided to push aside the tension and act like everything was fine.

Would you ever see him again after this?

The thought had another sharp stab pierce your heart.

You shrug your shoulders in response, quickly wiping your eyes with the palm of your hand. “It just got too hard to keep up with. Life got in the way,” you hated the words you were saying as you refused to meet his eyes. “We tried, didn’t we?”

You weren’t sure why you were asking him that as you knew you both put in a poor effort to keep the relationship going. But Ethan knew this too, yet he didn’t want to say the truth, either. “We did,” he completed the lie with a simple nod of his head, something you missed as you still didn’t look over at him.

The silence returned and you shifted uncomfortably. Never did you ever think you’d be uncomfortable while in the presence of Ethan. Things really have changed.

In hopes to keep him in your life just a little bit longer, you ask him another question and try to ignore the way your voice cracked, “We were good together, right?”

Ethan’s reply came instantly. “Of course we were,” and it wasn’t a lie.

Sure, the end of your relationship was hard, but the beginning was amazing, the middle was when you had some of the best days of your life, and the decision to end it was mutual. Not many couples can say that their breakup was mutual.

You nod at his words, taking a chance and reaching over to grab his hand. Ethan let you as he knew this would be one of the last times he would be able to touch you.

A teary exchange of smiles later had him getting up and leaving your apartment and finally you were able to bury your head in the pillows to muffle your sobs, the harsh reality of what just happened hitting you hard.

Two weeks passed and you weren’t over the breakup. You feared it would take many months for your heart to heal even a little bit, but you were okay with that. The ache you felt when you woke up was bearable as it meant your love was real and it happened.

Sure, it was over, but it happened. And that was enough to keep you going.

You skipped a lecture today to stay home and catch up on some reading. Well, you were supposed to be reading but here you were, laying on the couch and scrolling through your phone with the book open on your chest.

That Summer in New York <3

You don’t know how many times you’ve read that caption of your last post with Ethan on your Instagram. The various photos did nothing to soothe the ache in your heart, but they did bring you the smallest bit of comfort.

The post was from the same day Ethan promised you’d be fine when school started, and the memory of that day was what kept you going. It was a good day, one filled with laughs, love and exploring the big city with your boyfriend. It was hard to think of that day being one of the last good ones you had with him.

Fuck, you missed him. Just like how you felt during the last stretch of your relationship, you felt worse now that it was truly over.

The amount of times you had to stop yourself from texting him were countless, though the high twenties would be your guess. You hadn’t seen him since the breakup, with the exception of his past self in the photos on your page, and all you wanted to do was check if he was okay. Was he sad like you? Happy? Fine?

Like yours, his Instagram was still full of posts of the two of you as it seemed like he, too, couldn’t bring himself to delete them. It brought you the smallest amount of joy to know that the wound was still fresh to him like it was to you.

Your mind went back to before you two were even dating and you realised that you started out as friends. That got you thinking; if you were friends before your relationship, who says you can’t be friends after it?

And with that, you open your texts and type out a message before you could stop yourself.

Hey! I was thinking about you today and wanted to know if you were wanting to get together sometime? As friends :) I miss you and don’t want to not have you in my life

Before you could tell yourself that you sounded too desperate, your thumb hit send and you were left with the same message that used to haunt you.

Delivered one minute ago.

It was only ten minutes later when your phone went off and you sat up quickly, setting the book down and grabbing your phone from off the coffee table.

Ethan: you read my mind

Ethan: i miss you, too

The smile that formed on your lips was the biggest you’ve had in months and you quickly typed back a reply, not caring at how needy it made you look.

Great, we’ll set something up for the end of the week?

A reply never came as quick as his.

Ethan: definitely, can’t wait

You were now in a much better mood as you stood up from the couch and peaked your head in Tara’s room. She was on her bed, playing on her phone when she looked over and immediately sat up. “Hey, Y/n,” she said, the smile on your face making one form on hers. She hadn’t seen you look this happy in a while, so she wasn’t about to decline when you asked her if she wanted to go get brunch together.

Tara was beyond excited to see your true, happy self slowly coming back. She knew how hard the breakup hit you and to see you begin to put yourself back together had a permanent smile on her face.

Fall was just around the corner and the air was chilly, but that was the last thing on your mind as Tara guided you towards the new restaurant that had recently opened. She went there with Chad and couldn’t stop talking about how good the food was.

You listened with a smile on your face but within seconds your legs stop moving and your smile drops.

Tara, who continued rambling about the food, stopped walking when she realised you were no longer next to her. She backtracks and stands next to you, placing a comforting hand on your arm. “What? What is it?”

You were looking off in the distance, unable to answer her as you felt tears spring to your eyes. Tara furrowed her brows at that and tried to see what you were looking at, and when she did, her hold on you tightened.

On the opposite side of the street was Ethan.

You knew the first time you saw him after the breakup would hurt, but you assumed it would be because of a completely different reason than the one you felt now.

You assumed it would hurt because you hadn’t seen him in weeks and you missed him, not because he was currently locking lips with a girl.

“Y/n,” Tara said quietly, her hand moving down to properly hold yours. Tara had a feeling that the reason you were so happy was because of Ethan and a possible reconciliation, so seeing this had her mind going blank and her jaw locking.

You couldn’t take your eyes off the scene and you watch as Ethan’s hands grip the girl’s waist and she leans further into the kiss. Her hands caress the sides of his face as she moves closer to him and that was when you decided you’d seen enough.

Tara tugged you away and you let her. The two of you turn your back to your ex as she guides you back in the direction of your apartment, missing the way Ethan pulled away just in time to see you walk around the corner.

#ethan landry #ethan landry x reader #ethan landry imagines #scream 6 ethan #ethan scream 6 #scream 6 #scream 6 x reader #scream 6 imagines

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neonghostlights · 3 months

Text

A/N: I think the next chapter is the end of their story (:

Warnings: Death (reader is a ghost), loneliness (both reader and Eddie are insanely lonely), heartbreak, description on how reader died, illness (18+ only, minors DNI)

Series Masterlist

The Shortcut Chapter Three: The Talk

Eddie found you sitting against your headstone like you were waiting for him.

He waited until the moon was full and high in the sky to come back since he knew that he wouldn’t be able to see you without the magic in the air that the moon provided him.

He still didn’t really understand it, but if he thought too much about it it made his head ache with racing thoughts.

You offered him a small, apologetic smile as he approached. He sat beside you, about a foot between you.

The ground was cold and he shivered.

“How are you?” You asked, speaking first.

“I’m fine. Things are tough right now at home but it’s okay,” Eddie spoke honestly.

“Would you like to talk about it?” You asked him, genuine curiosity in your tone.

“I graduated high school this past spring. It took me three tries and I finally did it and I thought after I did that my life would magically get better and it just…hasn’t.”

“How hasn’t it gotten better?”

Eddie let out a deep breath. “I don’t know. I don’t have a real job. I sell…illegal things to make money. I can’t go to college because I don’t have the money and I didn’t have the grades to get in. My friends are doing all these crazy cool things and I’m just stuck. I haven’t seen any of my friends in weeks. I wanted to leave this town and make music but I have no money and my uncle needs help at home,” Eddie blurted out, listing off all of the things in his life that had been wrong.

You were quiet for a beat before you spoke again.

“Things could be worst. You could be dead.”

Eddie froze, staring at you for a moment and feeling like an asshole for being insensitive.

You let out a loud laugh, head leaning back with the force of it coming out.

The sound of it made Eddie laugh too.

“I’m sorry,” you admitted once your laughter died down. “For getting upset the last time you were here. I hadn’t realized so much time had passed and it had been so long since anyone bothered to visit me. It just made me think that’s all.”

“Can I ask you something?” Eddie was hesitant, worried that you would push him away again but he was dying to know. “What happened? How did you….you know?”

“How did I die?” You sighed, looking at the ground before you. “I was engaged to a nice boy that grew up down the street from us. He had a nice job, had gone to school, made good money. That was so important to my mother that he could support me. I was infatuated,” you said with a smile, staring off dreamily.

“I thought everything was going so well. I was working in the hospital as an orderly. I think that’s where I first started to get sick, and within a day I was in the hospital bed as a patient. I’m still not sure what it was. Possibly influenza, there was an outbreak on the unit I was working on.”

“After it happened, I found myself wandering here. It took me a moment to realize the grave I was standing in front of was my own. My mother and sister visited for a while before they stopped.”

“What about your fiancé?” Eddie asked.

You gave him a sad smile. “I’ve seen him visit twice. The second time he had a wedding band on and he was saying goodbye.”

“I’m so sorry.”

You put a hand up. “Save your apologies. It makes no difference now.”

Eddie wanted to change the subject. “Where do you go when you’re not here?”

“I’m still here…or there. Sometimes I watch over my grave. I did that a lot in the beginning. Sometimes I am in between.”

It didn’t make sense to Eddie but he didn’t want to push it.

“Eddie, I hope things get better for you,” you said with a little smile.

“Why does this feel like a goodbye?” Eddie asked, head spinning by the change in direction of the conversation.

He looked forward to every meeting with you. You were the little light in his life at the moment.

“It can’t be safe for you to come here at night.”

“No one messes with me. I promise,” Eddie lied through his teeth.

You gave him a look like you didn’t believe him but didn’t push him.

“Yeah, you can’t get rid of me that easily,” Eddie said, lightening to mood.

There were chills on his skin as he heard your laugh carry into the night.

He stayed with you till morning, watching you disappear into the morning light.

He missed you the second you were gone and was already counting the days until he could see you again.

#eddie munson x reader #eddie munson au #eddie munson x y/n #eddie munson fanfic #eddie munson #eddie munson imagine #eddie munson x you #eddie stranger things #eddie munson series #eddie munson angst #eddie munson x ghost reader #eddie munson x ghost

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marvelfanfn2187a113 · 8 months

Text

It’s Me

Dean Winchester x little sister!reader, Sam Winchester x little sister!reader, slight Castiel

Requested by Anonymous

Synopsis: after an incident with a school bully, you’re hospitalized and end up with amnesia

It wasn’t that bad. You could handle it. You’d be gone in a few weeks anyway.

This was the mantra you repeated to yourself every morning as you stepped out of the Impala, waved goodbye to Dean, and entered the school.

You had to repeat it to yourself, because otherwise you’d give in and tell your big brothers everything, and let them take care of it.

You told yourself over and over that you wouldn’t do that this time; you shouldn’t need them to save you every time something went wrong. Besides, it was just a bunch of high school bullies. What was the worst they could do?

You were about to find out the answer to that question the hard way.

…

“I told you to hand it over!”

You looked around for a teacher, or any sort of help, but there was no one.

Three upper classmen had you cornered, and you knew you couldn’t take them all. But you’d also been raised by John, Dean, and Sam Winchester, so when the biggest one demanded that you hand over every dollar you had—which wasn’t that much to begin with—you couldn’t help but jut out your jaw and stare defiantly up at him.

“You deaf?” You cringed as he shoved you and the back of your head slammed against the locker.

“I heard you,” you shoved his hands away from you.

“And?” He stood there expectantly, proudly. You glared at him. He really thought he’d won this? You didn’t break so easily.

“And screw you.”

Not exactly the cleverest comeback, but anything to portray your contempt to this animal would do. It did the trick. Perhaps too well.

“What’d you say to me?”

That angry growl was the last thing you heard before you were slammed backwards into the lockers, and everything went dark.

…

“She’s waking up!”

A deep voice thrummed in your ears as you blinked your eyes open, the bright lights making you squint.

“Hey sweetie,” you looked up to see a blond man staring down at you, his green eyes scanning your face.

“Hi…” you glanced around the small room and saw another man, tall with brown hair, staring at you too. “Are you a doctor?” The men didn’t look like doctors, but you couldn’t think of another reason for them to be here.

“What?” The dark-haired man stepped closer to your bed, a frown contorting his features. “Y/N it’s us.”

“Yeah baby, it’s Dean,” the blond man insisted, and you stared at them blankly.

Y/N? Dean? The names floated around the edges of your brain, and you tried to grab hold of them. You knew those names, yet you didn’t.

“I don’t understand,” you finally admitted. “I-I mean…I don’t recognize you.”

The boys shared a meaningful glance, and the blond one—Dean—left, stopping outside your door to talk to a doctor.

“Honey, it’s…it’s Sam,” the dark haired man looked down at you. “You don’t recognize me?”

You shook your head slowly.

“Who are you?”

“I-“ Sam opened his mouth, closed it, swallowed, then spoke. “I-I’m your big brother.”

“What about-“ you gestured to Dean.

“Yeah, him too,” Sam was staring at you incredulously. “You really don’t-“

“Hello,” the doctor stepped into the room, followed by Dean. “I’ve heard we have a bit of a problem in here.”

“I don’t remember,” your voice came out small. Everything felt so overwhelming; the bright lights, the heart monitor beeping, the two men—strangers—who seemed to know you.

“What don’t you remember?” The doctor asked gently. You thought about it.

“Anything.”

…

The doctor discharged you that night, since physically you were recovered, even if you still didn’t remember anything. He’d said that once the trauma wore off a bit, and your head recovered with some more rest, the memories should begin to resurface.

The boys weren’t so sure, and needless to say that terrified them.

“This is ours,” Sam gestured to the Impala when he noticed you glancing around the parking lot helplessly.

You nodded wordlessly and slid into the backseat while the boys got in the front.

After a minute, Dean spoke, directing his words to Sam.

“We should try for Cas. He can help her.”

“Um, Dean, maybe we should wait,” Sam glanced back nervously at you, and you frowned.

“Who’s Cas?”

“Our angel friend, he’s gonna help you remember.” Sam’s head jerked in Dean’s direction.

“Dean!”

“Your…I don’t understand.”

“Hey Cas!” Dean suddenly called out. “We need some help down here, it’s Y/N.”

Silence.

“What was supposed to happen?” You asked hesitantly. Was this guy insane?

“You’ll see when he decides to come,” Dean promised.

“Dean-“

“Ah, here we are,” Dean cut off Sam as he pulled the Impala into a motel parking lot.

“Where are we?” You directed your question to Sam as Dean stepped out of the car.

“A motel,” he answered awkwardly.

“Don’t we have a house?”

“Nope,” was Dean’s response as he opened your door, gesturing for you to get out.

“Why?”

“It’s a long story,” Sam jumped in. “I’m sure you want to get some rest.”

“Is it my night?” Dean asked, referring to the arrangement the brothers had of switching who had to share a bed with you.

“I’m taking the couch,” Sam announced. “She can have the bed.”

Dean raised an eyebrow, “Can you fit on that thing?”

“Um…what’s this?” You asked as you lifted the gun that you’d seen sticking out from under your pillow.

“It’s yours,” Dean told you. “You keep it there for protection. Even though I’ve told you a million times that I’ve got one so you don’t need one,” he added this last part under his breath, but you still heard it.

“P-protection from what?” You asked in a shaky voice.

“Dean, can I talk to you alone?” Sam jumped in, not waiting for a response as he dragged Dean outside.

“What?” Dean asked.

“What? Are you insane?” Sam hissed.

“What are you talking about? The doctor said to treat her as we normally would, and that’s what I’m doing.”

“You’re terrifying her is what you’re doing! Dean she’s just a kid.”

“A kid? Dude, it’s Y/N.”

“Yeah, Y/N without any memories of monsters, or the family business, or-or why there’s a freaking gun under her pillow!”

“Look, she’s going to remember sooner or later, and then she’ll understand all of this, I don’t understand what the big deal is.”

“The big deal is that she’s not herself right now, and we have no clue when she’s getting her memories back,” Sam insisted. “So we can’t just pretend like nothing is wrong! You can’t start talking to Cas, or any of the other things that are going to make her thing we’re insane.”

“She’s going to remember,” Dean’s voice had gone quieter, but no less resolved.

“Of course she is,” Sam amended, realization hitting him. “I’m not saying she won’t. But we need to be patient with her; if we scare her off, it’s going to be harder to get her to trust us. It’s going to be a million times harder for her to remember if she’s not comfortable around us.”

“I just don’t know what else to do,” Dean admitted. “I don’t know how to talk her her. I mean, it’s her, but it’s not her. I can’t talk to her like she’s some stranger.”

“You don’t have to,” Sam promised. “Just…just try to leave out the monsters. And the angels while you’re at it.”

“I’ll try,” Dean agreed reluctantly. “But Cas better come through soon, because we can’t keep this from her for long.”

“You called?”

Both boys’ heads swung in the direction of the angel’s voice.

“Hello Sam and Dean,” Castiel greeted. “I heard you needed help.”

…

Sam was surprised when he opened the motel door to see you in the midst of walking out. You were going so fast that you slammed into him, and he brought up his hands to steady you.

“Whoa, hey, where you going?” He asked, frowning when he noticed your eyes darting wildly around with panic. “Are you ok?”

Sam noticed Dean looking over your shoulder, and he did the same, inwardly groaning when he noticed the cause of your distress. You’d opened one of their duffels, and their array of weapons was splayed out on one of the beds.

“Hey,” Sam spoke softly, trying to bring down your terror. “I-I know that that looks freaky, but we-“

“This is insane!” You pulled out of his reach and attempted to run, but Dean grabbed you around the waist and lifted you off the ground, carrying you back into the motel room.

“Cas, get in here,” he demanded, and Cas obeyed, looking more than a little confused.

“What’s going on?” He questioned. “I thought you said she needed help.”

“She hit her head,” Sam explained, “She doesn’t remember anything.”

“No wonder she’s terrified,” Castiel said. “You’re frightening to people who don’t know you.”

“Thanks Cas,” Dean said sarcastically.

“Let go!” You made your presence known by kicking Dean hard in the leg, and he grunted but kept his hold on you.

“Alright, take it easy!” He held you at arms length, your back to the wall. “Nobody’s gonna hurt you.”

“What’s going on?” You demanded. “Are you guys even my brothers?”

Dean’s body went rigid. He stared down at you, trying to push away the ache in his heart.

“Of course we are,” his voice had gone quiet, and desperation tinged his tone. “Of course we’re your brothers. Baby it’s Dean, you can trust me.”

“I don’t even know you.”

“Cas,” Dean’s voice quavered, and he swallowed hard. “Cas, do it.”

“Who is that?” Your panic returned when Cas advanced on you, and you started to struggle in Dean’s arms. “Who is he? What is-what is he doing?”

“Just be still,” Dean said.

“Let me go! Cut it out!” Cas didn’t even flinch when you launched a kick at his shin.

“Baby we’re trying to help you, please just trust me.”

“I can’t trust you!” You yelled in response to Dean’s plea. “I don’t even know you!”

“Yes you do,” Dean’s green eyes overtook the whole of your vision when he leaned closer to you. “Somewhere in there, you know who we are. It’s me, it’s Dean. I know you’re scared, ok? I know you don’t understand. But just look at me, ok? It’s me, you can trust me.”

And you did. Impossibly, inexplicably, you looked into those dark green eyes and felt only safety, only comfort, even when he was currently holding you against a wall while a strange man in a trench coat approached you with his hand outstretched.

You didn’t fight it, allowing the man to place to fingers on your head, all the while keeping your gaze completely on those eyes.

The eyes of your big brother.

A soft glow came from the man’s fingers, and suddenly it felt as though a filter was being removed from your eyes.

You blinked. Those green eyes were still right there, but you saw them a little differently now.

“Dean?” You whispered.

A relieved smile broke out on his face.

“Hey baby.”

“Dean!” He staggered back a half-step when you threw yourself into his arms. Sam’s soft laughter could be heard behind him, and you pulled away from Dean to hug your other brother.

“It’s good to have you back,” he said, his arms wrapped tightly around you.

“And you remember everything?” Cas asked, wanting to be sure it worked completely.

You grinned, “Everything.” As soon as you pulled away from Sam, Dean pulled you in for another embrace and you laughed. “Did you miss me that much?”

“Shut up,” he said.

But he didn’t let go.

#dean winchester #dean winchester x reader #dean and sam #dean winchester x you #sam winchester #sam winchester x reader #supernatural dean #the winchesters #winchesters x reader #winchesters x sister #spn sam winchester #winchester #the winchester brothers #castiel winchester #sam and dean #dean x reader

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youngtomhardy · 15 days

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single no. 3 ‘kiss kiss bang bang’ is out now 💋💥

this one might be the most important part of the MM2 story. this song was born the night i died. you can literally google ‘michael medrano kiss kiss bang bang’ and find the night i conceptualized this song — and the whole era really.

grief is incredibly hard to process, especially when it’s sudden and swift. i was in the room with people i thought were going to change my life forever. i wasn’t exactly poor growing up, but my family struggled for as long as i can remember. i moved 4 times, my dad worked his ass off and we still couldn’t afford to live somewhere comfortably. this caused turmoil and constant instability in my household, which in turn led to some really traumatic times i wish i could forget.

so when you end up in this kitschy club with incredibly successful and wealthy people, you suddenly feel wow… the struggle is over. i’ll finally get to take care of my family. they’ll never have to abruptly move again or live under a landlord who won’t even fix a broken fridge. i can take care of myself and everyone i love — i can have it all. and i’m about to sign the paper that puts it all in motion.

i remember my creative director at the time kept telling me to “never forget how incredible” i am. over and over again. going as far to call me “the next weeknd”. it was in that moment, high off of a shroom pill, i knew they’d killed me. my project was dead. and before i could wrap my head around it, i found myself sitting in the corner of a dingy karaoke suite watching it all end in slow motion. in my mind, i like to pretend it was more of a penthouse suite decorated to look like a humble, midcentury modern dream. they did go all out and get the most expensive suite anyway, as they always had.

the next day, everyone goes silent on me. texts aren’t replied to anymore. resources are cut off. album plans gone. the mystical “sylvia” i’ve been told so much about had vanished. it is probably the most devastating heartbreak i’ve gone through right next to my mom initially rejecting me once i was outed… a story for another time.

so i sat down in my tiny hometown apartment. and cried. drove to literally nowhere screaming at 3 am. praying that maybe they’d come back around and save me. but no one was coming — i was in free fall. alone again and so suddenly, like a rug pulled from under me or gunshot to the head. after months of the endless spiral, i got back to working a regular part time job, hating this life i was once again trapped in. but one day, after all that grief welled up inside me, i started writing again. and writing. and writing. and writing. i’d never been so angry in my life. i’d also never been so fucking determined. and now, here we are. 3 years later. 3 singles deep into MM2. and so much has changed.

never did i think id be sitting in the middle of hollywood in my new apartment, typing this and pulling and all-nighter to get the music video out to over 100k fans listening to me every month. my little guy abel laying next to me while my partner hacks away at editing.

i might not have the deal yet. i might not have the money or the team yet. but i woke up from the nightmare one day and you were all right there in front of me. i love you all so much and i hope you love this song as much as i do. MM2 is coming and i hope you’re ready, because i finally am.

#michael medrano #indie pop #new music #tumblr diary #kiss kiss bang bang #pop music

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its-jaytothemee · 2 months

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Tonight...And Every Night - Chapter 6

Pairing: Astarion x Tav, Halsin x Tav; Astarion and Tav POVs

Word count: 1,506; Chapter 6, Tav then Astarion POV

Rating: Mature

Read on AO3

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Summary: Tav fails to convince Astarion to reject the Rite of Profane Ascension and refuses to help him complete it. He leaves her and the party, but regrets his choices later. Angsty and fluffy, POVs from both Astarion and Tav.

Tags: Angst, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Spawn!Astarion, Angst w/ Happy Ending

Author's Note: This was inspired by my playthrough where I somehow failed all of the persuasion checks for Astarion after the Cazador fight, leaving me obviously devastated. Finally getting to some soft Halsin moments...my favorite!

Tav must have drifted off at some point while she was laying in Astarion’s tent. She woke to Halsin softly shaking her shoulders. Slowly, she sat up and took in her surroundings again. The pain she felt from today was still a crushing weight on her shoulders.

“I thought I might find you here.” He said gently, taking her hand in his. “Everyone has been very worried about you.”

She gave a small nod in response. Truthfully, she didn’t know what she was doing here other than punishing herself with the memories. Echoes of their time here whispered into her ears. It was as if she could hear their quiet laughs shared after everyone had gone to bed, she could hear his soft sighs in response to her gentle touches, she could hear his nightmares being soothed away by her comforting words in the depth of the night.

“I just found myself walking here. I…” Tears started to well up in her eyes again.

“Come with me, my heart. I think you’ve tortured yourself enough for one evening.” He stood up and slowly helped pull her to her feet. He hugged her tightly against his chest before helping her walk back outside.

She paused outside the tent, wrapping her arms tightly around her chest. She took a few deep, steadying breaths as Halsin wrapped his arms around her shoulders from behind. In that moment she was incredibly grateful to have him there with her. He had a soothing presence and his warm arms took away the chill of the evening. They stood there for a moment, looking over the familiar scene.

“Halsin…what’s wrong with me?” She asked softly.

“What do you mean?” He moved his head to the side to look at her.

“I feel so…stupid.” She suddenly felt embarrassed admitting this to him. “I’ve only known him a short time, but I really thought that maybe…maybe…” She trailed off, unable to finish her thought. She took a deep breath.

“I…I loved him.” With that, the tears flowed freely again. “I still love him. And I really thought that he loved me back.” She turned around to sob into Halsin’s chest.

“Why would that mean there’s something wrong with you?” He asked gently.

“Because I should be furious. I’m angry, but I should hate him, by all rights he should be dead to me.” She barely choked the words out between sobs.

“But I…” she continued, sniffling, “I don’t hate him, not even in the slightest. If he came walking back into camp right now, I would forgive him. I’d comfort him and tend to his wounds and let him share my bedroll. Why do I keep giving people chances to use me? How am I this pathetic?” She buried her face deeper into his chest, her entire torso ached from her sobs.

Halsin pulled away slightly so he could lift her chin to look into her eyes.

“Tav, there is nothing wrong with you.” He had tears in his eyes as well. “You have more love and compassion in your heart than this entire city combined. You give without thought of reward and you love unconditionally. You would plunge your hand into your chest and rip out your own beating heart if you thought it would save someone close to you. There is not a single person here in this camp who has not had their life changed by your infinite kindness, Astarion included. He may not realize it yet, but what you did today was a profound act of love. You saved him from himself, even though you knew it meant you could lose him. It may take a day, it may take a decade, but one day he will realize it.” He paused for a moment, studying her face.

“No one here would dare to call you pathetic, so why do you give that title to yourself?” He wiped away a tear from her eyes just as one fell from his.

“I…I’m no one Halsin, I’m nothing. All of my confidence is a façade, trying desperately to keep everyone together. I have no idea what the fuck I’m doing here. They’ve put their lives in my hands, and today I lost one of them. Who’s to say whether I can keep anyone else from falling? How am I supposed to lead them? How?” Her voice was getting louder and more desperate, her words struggling to be understood through her cries. When Halsin spoke again, his voice was a soft whisper but the agony in his tone matched her own.

“I know something of the burden of leadership, my heart. I understand the doubt that plagues your mind. I have loved and grieved, carried the heavy load of hundreds of lives lost. Yet even I was all but lost until you came to my rescue in the goblin camp. You brought light back into my life, quite literally banishing the shadows that clouded my mind. You saved everything and everyone I hold dear. You are far too modest, my love.” He took her face in both of his hands, pressing his forehead against hers.

“You. Are. Everything.” He whispered, another few tears rolling down his cheeks.

Tav stared into his wise, gentle eyes, desperate to see the person he saw in her. She may not trust her own thoughts right now, but she did trust him. She slowly wrapped her arms around his neck and drew him into a soft kiss. The tears mixing on their faces and dripping onto her chest. She pulled away and let Halsin hold her against him until she finally felt strong enough to stand on her own.

Tav took his hand in hers and was just about to suggest that they join the others around the fire when a strangely familiar voice called out to her.

“He’s right, you know.” The voice was very timid.

Tav and Halsin both spun around, readying themselves for a fight. A figure covered in splatters of blood and wearing a dark cloak stood maybe five meters away from them. The sight of his messy, white curls and tired, crimson eyes paralyzed her.

“Astarion?” She whispered.

***

Astarion finally arrived at the familiar camp. He kept himself crouched low and against the tree line. He carefully observed the figures around the fire, trying to determine if Tav was with them. Not finding her there, he slowly made his way around the camp’s perimeter, taking extra care not to alert anybody to his presence.

He heard some soft voices not far away, as he kept circling he realized they were coming from…his tent? He kept moving, following the sound of the voices he was now able to identify as Tav and Halsin. As he got closer to them, he could hear the sounds of Tav sniffling and crying, but they were muffled. He was finally able to get to a hidden spot where he could see the two of them. They both looked exhausted. Tav had her face completely hidden in Halsin’s large chest, her whole body seemed to shake from her crying. He could only hear pieces of what she was saying.

“I loved him…I should hate…I don’t…forgive him.”

His whole body tensed at those few pieces he caught. Could she really be saying that she would…forgive him?

Halsin was speaking again, but he couldn’t quite make out what he was saying. He was looking at Tav with such a soft expression. Astarion strained his ears, trying to decipher their words when Tav suddenly cried out, louder than before.

“I…I’m no one Halsin, I’m nothing.” He heard her yell through her sobs.

His heart shattered into a thousand pieces hearing her say that. How could she not see how amazing she is? How could she ever think that she was worthless? He listened as she cried into Halsin’s arms, listened as he told her how incredible she was, how he owed everything he had to her. His praises echoing those in Astarion’s heart.

“You. Are. Everything.” He heard from Halsin’s soft, soothing voice. And she was, Tav was everything to him.

‘Go tell her that.’ He thought to himself.

His heart was pounding in his chest, his palms were sweaty. He thought he was ready to stand up and make himself known when he saw Tav pull Halsin in for a tender kiss. His courage faltered, all he wanted was for her to be happy. He wanted her to be with someone who deserved her and as much as he wanted to be that someone, it seemed like she may have already found them. But if anyone was capable of loving two people equally and completely, it was Tav. When the two of them separated from each other, Astarion made a choice. He needed her to know how he felt, even if she rejected him. Knowing all too well that the next few moments could crush his very soul, his very being, he took a deep breath and stepped out of the trees.

#bg3 #baldurs gate 3 #baldur's gate iii #bg3 astarion #bg3 halsin #astarion x tav #halsin x tav #bg3 tav #bg3 fanfiction #astarion fanfic #bg3 headcanons #bg3 brainrot #bg3 angst #bg3 fluff #astarion ancunin #halsin silverbough

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