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#she is like: now that I have my real present for someone who actually mean to me you can keep that other think
a-bensler-blog · 1 year
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(HD stills from the Law and Order: Special Victim Unit S24 & Law and Order: Organized Crime S3' crossover finale.)
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poppyseed799 · 1 year
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I feel like life series fanon jimmy is kind of mischaracterized and there’s an easy way to make sure you’re doing it right: he has a lot of unearned confidence
#the tags is where I’m going to ACTUALLY say stuff LOL!!!#but like I love life series Jimmy mkay. he’s got that curse of dying first and all. which is what I mean by fanon cuz curses aren’t real#but a lot of fans make it like Jimmy accepts the curse? or even acknowledges that it’s real. which bugs me a bit cuz No He Does Not#(side note tho. I’m not mad about it. I know ppl wanna explore the concept of someone cursed to die first and that’s what they’re doing)#but like Jimmy would just be so in denial about it okay. even if you managed to convince him he would be like ‘..BUT SURELY THIS TIME’#and this relates to ranchers too. I love ranchers ok. mostly cuz my sister does tbh LMAOO she loves them. but ranchers fan content isn’t#what I’m looking for cuz it’s so often stuff like.. Jimmy being like ‘I’m sorry I’m cursed’ and Tango being like ‘it’s ok love u anyway’#but it’s really more like ‘CURSED?? NO! WE WILL WIN!’ which I think is MORE fun for the aftermath of their death. meeting in the afterlife.#I NEED to see ranchers content where they keep denying that the curse is real then Jimmy dies and they’re ghosts or whatever and Jimmy’s#like ‘oh no. we didn’t break the curse. tango probably hates me now. he only liked me cuz we thought the curse wasn’t real.’ and tango to be#like upset at first as anyone would be when they die. but then he like notices the way Jimmy is acting and he’s like ‘no.. ranchers 4 life’#???? what am I saying. hire me for writing fanfic I totally know what I’m doing.#anyways what I’m saying is Jimmy is the canary but he’s the canary that’s like ‘SURELY I can sing for the miners the whole way THIS time’#he is NOT the canary who says ‘WELL time to eventually stop singing in this cave’#HOWEVER I do think that although he has loads of unearned confidence and is in a constant state of denial. he does also have that crumble#sometimes. so it’s not totally ooc imo for him to act like that. but it would be rare moments and also mostly post death#ANOTHER SIDE NOTE I WANNA SAY. I HATE the way I’m saying this as if it’s fact. it’s my personal analysis and just because I think it’s right#doesn’t mean I want to present it as undeniable fact. I could be misinterpreting. if you want to interpret life!Jimmy’s character different#then go on ahead. I don’t hate fanon Jimmy I just wish I saw more like how I see him. that is all.#ok I lied I also wanna add that I’m bad at explaining things ESPECIALLY personalities so it’s possible that I didn’t convey what I wanted to#say properly too. sorry. OKAY NOW THAT IS ALL.
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tardis--dreams · 1 year
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To summarize today's day in university:
- got diagnosed with social phobia by a class mate (bitch?!)
- heard a Very cool lecture/presentation by a guest lecturer
- our lecturer said she kinda liked our idea for our presentation
- had lunch with friends in the uni canteen which was nice but evoked some existential despair
#about that social phobia thing: first she showed me the term on her phone during a seminar (when she couldn't talk loudly)#asking if i had that to which i said no i do not?!#then after class she again said 'i think you have social phobia. because you don't like talking to people or in class' *nodding knowingly*#to which i again said i did Not have it but ok whatever#because hello?! the only person allowed to say i have social anxiety is Me. fuck you?!#like I DO say i have social anxiety because i do i guess. but a) not talking in class is not an indicator for this#b) i Do talk in class lmao. and I've never actually had any problems around her regarding anxiety#like i have no problem talking to classmates or saying something in the classes we have together so Fuck Off?!#(i mean it is a giant problem sometimes in some contexts but STILL. YOU DON'T GET TO 'DIAGNOSE' ME.#i hereby officially undiagnose myself from that thank you very much)#ANYWAY do you know the feeling of meeting someone you really look up to like maybe an author or a musician or whatever in REAL LIFE#AND YOU GET TO TALK TO THEM? that excitement where you're like 'omg i can't believe that's happening i can't believe you're here in a room#with me TALKING TO ME? and I get to hear about something unpublished you're working on rn?? like exclusive insight into current research???#that was me today during that presentation by that guest lecturer! I've read most of her articles and at some point idk i guess you find#researchers in your field whose work you just find Very interesting and then when you get to meet them it feels a little unreal#(not to fangirl over a linguist or anything. i rarely do that (don't speak to me about my favorite lecturer who i also totally don't see as#a huge inspiration or anything))#but yeah also i was so worried about the presentation next week but now our lecturer said she didn't hate the topic I'm more chill about it#AND yeah sorry folks‚ healthcare doesn't exist here :( no i can't help you find a doctor there's no hope just accept it#I LOVE the fact that international students keep bringing up this topic! the sheer despair and Anxiety you get to hear about! fantastic!#like I'm sorry about this obviously but that's just how we live here? What do you MEAN in your country you just can go to a doctor FOR FREE#and they'll help you? what yeah man I'll come to Russia with you! (seriously. this is one of the main things preventing people from staying#here. the absolute Lack of healthcare. people who are like 'yeah i love it here but honestly? I'm too scared something might happen#and then no one will help me.. yep. understandable. i have just accepted that i will die due to this#but if you have the option to go (back) to a country where things are different I'd do that tbh.#(sorry just normal lunch conversation topics we have here#i still feel very nice and fuzzy because i was invited ahahaha (i have a sad life lmao))#shut up amy#university ramblings
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astonmartinii · 1 month
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cutie patooties | max verstappen social media au
pairing: max verstappen x fem leclerc!reader
just them terrorising the world with their cuteness (and collecting the younger drivers)
MASTERLIST | TIP JAR | SMALL BUSINESS
yourusername
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liked by arthurleclerc, maxverstappen1 and 1,209,455 others
tagged: maxverstappen1
yourusername: he loves redline more than me 🙄
view all comments
user1: obsessed with how she's like "oh you wanna ship max with my brother" and then takes lestappen out back and shoots them
user2: as she should, she's the cutest leclerc by far
yourusername: true 😙
maxverstappen1: double true 😘
charles_leclerc: die.
yourusername: erm consider your ass REPORTED THIS IS HARASSMENT
maxverstappen1: did you just threaten my girlfriend ????
charles_leclerc: and what?
maxverstappen1: pull up, i'm outside
charles_leclerc: ???? leave ????
maxverstappen1: no i'm deadass don't disrespect my gf 😤😤😤
charles_leclerc: it's my SISTER
yourusername: when he's protective 😛😛😛
user3: screaming, crying, throwing up over the keychain
user4: i need someone *cough, cough* them to recreate it 🥸
landonorris: YOU WENT TO THE LEGO STORE WITHOUT ME? YOUR FAVOURITE CHILD?
yourusername: watch your tone
maxverstappen1: god forbid i want to spend time with my GIRLFRIEND on a DATE
landonorris: that's not a valid excuse
yourusername: also bold of you to assume you're our favourite child when oscar, yuki and logan are right there
oscarpiastri: snooze you lose lando
yukitsunoda0511: suck on that lando
logansargent: i'm just happy to be included
landonorris: damn...
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maxverstappen1
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liked by yourusername, danielricciardo and 1,203,513 others
tagged: charles_leclerc & yourusername
maxverstappen1: spent the weekend bothering my girlfriend's brother, what about you?
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user9: the way charles put his ferrari cap on y/n only for max to throw it into the crowd and put his own on her head instead
user10: those who know max's attachment to his caps, this is big.
yourusername: winning looks so sexy oh my
maxverstappen1: blushing like a motherfucker
yourusername: skip the debrief? they won't notice?
maxverstappen1: i think they might notice the driver of the race they're analysing not being there
yourusername: show them the pic i just sent you, they can't say no to my puppy dog eyes
maxverstappen1: helmut said fuck off 💔
yourusername: tell him i have a present for him (it's a pack of salt and vinegar crisps and a pamphlet for caskets)
user11: @yourusername winning IS sexy, tell your bf to tell charles win
yourusername: if charles wins it's suddenly decidedly unsexy, this isn't game of thrones babe
charles_leclerc: you ARE annoying that's right
maxverstappen1: annoyingly sexy
charles_leclerc: no comment, we're going to be family at some point soon
maxverstappen1: DAMN RIGHT WE ARE
yourusername: if you think we're annoying now, oh boy.
user12: i need max and y/n to be engaged right this fucking moment
user13: i think it would actually make my year
user14: after the championship win queen @maxverstappen1 ?
yourusername
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liked by danielricciardo, oscarpiastri and 1,562,044 others
tagged: maxverstappen1
yourusername: @ the person who asked how much max weighs... god will deal with you
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user15: i'm obsessed with how obsessed they are with each other
user16: is max's wardrobe all red bull merch and t-shirts dedicated to y/n?
maxverstappen1: yes 😌
danielricciardo: i saw the clip... the time stamp was 3am - we RACE TODAY?
yourusername: i am happy to support my man's hobby
danielricciardo: yes but you also don't have to race with that man on three hours of sleep
yourusername: be real daniel, the only time you'll be close to max is when he laps you xxx
danielricciardo: EXCUSE ME??? MAX YOU GONNA LET YOUR GIRLFRIEND TALK TO YOUR FIRST LOVE LIKE THAT?
maxverstappen1: bold of you to assume you were my first love
danielricciardo: did on the couch mean nothing to you?
maxverstappen1: soz buddy this is a childhood friends to lovers narrative right now (and we were already together by the time i was at red bull)
charles_leclerc: WHAT?
yourusername: spare me the dramatics, you guys were deep in the ANGST and then austria happened so really it's your own fault that it took as long as it did
user17: one comment section where the girls aren't fighting? impossible.
oscarpiastri: omg the shirts look so good y/n !!
yourusername: we're ✨graphic designers✨
maxverstappen1: does having a dashingly handsome model help
yourusername: of course !!!!!
oscarpiastri: i'm not going to answer that question
maxverstappen1: :(
oscarpiastri: on another thought - yes!
yourusername: @landonorris this is why he's one of the favourites
landonorris: i'm not talking to yall
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maxverstappen1
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liked by fernandoalo_oficial, yourusername and 1,309,556 others
tagged: yourusername
maxverstappen1: weekend off racing means shenanigans and late night streaming
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user20: i know whatever poor soul went for dinner with them hated every second
yukitsunoda0511: working on being the favourite of the favourite children 🫡 and they paid for my meal at a really cool italian restaurant
oscarpiastri: game on
yourusername: so who is the lady and who is the tramp?
danielricciardo: THAT'S A TRICK QUESTION MAX DON'T ANSWER IT
maxverstappen1: you're not a lady... you're a queen 😘
yourusername: did you just fail the test, successfully?
danielricciardo: you smooth motherfucker
yourusername: stole your red bull drive and your nickname @carlossainz55
carlossainz55: why am i catching strays?
yourusername: bored ❤️
user21: y/n really be like "oh the season's boring cause my bf wins everything? let me make it interesting by shading every driver on the grid"
maxverstappen1: do NOT give her a challenge
charles_leclerc: can you PLEASE stop taking such lovey dovey gross ass photos maman keeps getting them printed and I AM GETTING MOVED OFF OF THE MANTEL PIECE I AM ON THE BOOKSHELF, THIS FACE IS A MANTEL PIECE FACE NOT A BOOKSHELF FACE
yourusername: not reading all of that, i'm happy for you or sad that happened x
charles_leclerc: MAX DO SOMETHNG
maxverstappen1: step your pussy up bro
yourusername: when he catches your lingo >>
charles_leclerc: i am a VICTIM
yourusername
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liked by arthurleclerc, landonorris and 1,450,387 others
tagged: maxverstappen1 & charles_leclerc
yourusername: invented babygirlism actually
view all comments
user22: y/n is so real for choosing a cute recent photo for herself and then just violating the guys
user23: she's funny as fuck for that
charles_leclerc: finally some fucking credit
yourusername: not everything can be about you all of the time 🤨
charles_leclerc: don't make me an ankle-biter again you're PUSHING ME
sebastianvettel: knew you were an ankle biter
yourusername: LOL
charles_leclerc: no seb no! i didn't bite ankles, just y/n's and that doesn't count
user24: what the fuck is going on here
maxverstappen1: you are the most babygirl to ever babygirl
danielricciardo: i think i had a stroke reading that
yourusername: awwwww you're so cute maxy
maxverstappen1: knew you were the one for me when we first met karting, you taught me the babygirl ways
yourusername: and you're delivering
oscarpiastri: you guys can't see but he's blushing so bad right now
landonorris: are you just attached to them
yourusername: yes he is, a babygirl in training
user25: how do i get adopted by y/n and max?
maxverstappen1: no but for real i love you, even if we are lumbered with your brother
yourusername: i love you too xxx
charles_leclerc: *brothers
maxverstappen1: nope arthur and lorenzo are sound
charles_leclerc: fUCK OFF :(((((((
FIN.
note: heyyyyyy you guysssss! we all know i have a soft spot for these two (plus oscar and alex) so i wanted to put out a little thing to celebrate 5k! thank you so much for following and reading my work, hope you enjoyed xx
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mclqren · 1 month
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PERFECT ★ CL16
PAIRING ✦ charles leclerc x fem!singer!reader
SUMMARY ✦ most of your songs are based off of your relationship with your boyfriend, so it's only fair that he writes a song for you, right? [ SMAU ]
WARNINGS ✦ cursing
REQUESTED ✦ here!
NOTES ✦ for the purpose of this fic, i have stolen some songs from other artists to use as the reader's/charles'. as per request, the fc i've used is sabrina carpenter, but feel free to picture whoever you want! my requests are open so feel free to leave a request :)
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liked by charles_leclerc, oliviarodrigo, and 3,555,971 others
tagged charles_leclerc
yourusername my new song 'cinnamon girl', and the music video to go with it, is out now!! i'd like to thank everyone who supported me through the making of this song, but especially my boyfriend, who inspired me to write it. je t’aime 💌
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user1 THEIR RELATIONSHIP HAS ME SCREAMINGGG WHEN IS IT MY TURN
user2 SO REAL THEY'RE SUCH CUTIES
charles_leclerc forever proud of you ❤️
yourusername 💘💘
user3 her aesthetic means absolutely everything to me
user4 THE SONG IS EVERYTHING AND MOREEE I LOVE IT!!
user5 y/n l/n one chance PLEASEEE
oliviarodrigo so proud of you baby!! 💜
yourusername thank you sm liv i love you 💌
user6 their friendship is everything to me.
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liked by charles_leclerc, tatemcrae, and 3,002,718 others
yourusername cinnamon girl is already at one million streams on spotify?! actually insane - thank you all so much for supporting me and my vision, i love you all to death 💌
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user10 WOAH 1 MILLION ALREADY IS CRAZYYY
user11 beyond proud of you y/n you’ve come so far 💗💗
charles_leclerc couldn’t be prouder of you ❤️
yourusername love you!! 💕💕
user12 the way he supports her>>
user13 the fact charles leclerc inspired this song is actually everything to me
user14 IM IN LOVE W EVERYTHING YOU DO
tatemcrae MY GIRL COME ON ❤️
yourusername TATEEE MY BABY 💕
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liked by charles_leclerc, oliviarodrigo, and 2,981,627 others
tagged charles_leclerc
yourusername next stop: bahrain!! 💌
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user17 y’all’s relationship is everything to me
charles_leclerc ❤️❤️
liked by yourusername
user18 Y/N IN BAHRAIN THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
user19 the way he looks at her omg
user20 i want someone to look at me the way charles looks at y/n oh my days
oliviarodrigo take me w you!! 😭
yourusername next time!! 💕
user21 she’s so sweet i cant
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liked by yourusername, carlossainz55, and 2,671,902 others
tagged yourusername
charles_leclerc touchdown in bahrain! let’s hope for a good race 👊
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user22 HES BACKKKK
user23 LECLERCCC
user24 y/n is glowing omg
yourusername can’t wait to watch 💕
charles_leclerc ❤️
user25 awwww stop it rn
yourusername FORZA FERRARIII
carlossainz55 SIEMPRE ❤️
user26 y/n’s two moods: cutesy gf and raging ferrari fan
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liked by yourusername, maxverstappen1, and 2,880,218 others
tagged yourusername
charles_leclerc i promised something new and exciting with my music, and here it is. 'perfect' is out now - a song i produced and played purely on the piano. this song is for my love: you write songs about me all the time, so here's a little present from me to you ❤️
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user30 he's so in love it's actually the cutest thing ever
user31 this song is actually so beautiful what on earth.
yourusername my love 💌
charles_leclerc forever ❤️
user32 kill me now why are they so cute.
user33 THE SONG CHARLESSS ITS SO GOOD
maxverstappen1 photo credits for the last picture?? ☹️
yourusername thanks for capturing such a gorgeous shot maxie, much appreciated 😘
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liked by yourusername, carlossainz55, and 3,313,220 others
tagged yourusername
charles_leclerc to the person who i would dedicate all of my songs to. je t’aime ❤️
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user38 someone put them in a cheesy romantic comedy film right this instant they're too perfect for this world.
user39 RIGHTTT IVE BEEN SAYING THIS
user40 can't tell who's punching more: charles or y/n
user41 she is so stunning i actually can't
user42 the song title 'perfect' is so fitting i mean look at her
yourusername im choosing to ignore the second picture 😘
charles_leclerc but why, it's so cute!!
yourusername you are joking charles.
yourusername love you always and forever 💌
liked by charles_leclerc
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liked by charles_leclerc, maxverstappen1, and 3,445,380 others
tagged charles_leclerc
yourusername thank you sm charlie for the song, it was truly one of the most beautiful things that have ever graced my ears, and i will forever cherish it 💌 this post is an appreciation for you (the last picture will forever be my favorite)
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user43 the way i can hear the last photo 😭
user44 "nothing it was just an inchident"
charles_leclerc the last picture ☹️
yourusername my fav 😊😊
charles_leclerc ❤️❤️
liked by yourusername
user45 FUCKKK IM SO SINGLE RN
user46 NO REALLL IM SO LONELY
maxverstappen1 last pic brings back bad memories 😢
yourusername sorry about that mad max, i'm sure you'll get over it soon. 🫶
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bbtsficrecs · 5 months
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BTS FIC RECS PART 4.1
Part 4.1 of some of my favourite BTS fanfics. Please do consider liking, reblogging and/or commenting on the fics you like. There are so many wonderful and amazing authors out there who do not get the recognition they deserve. So please send them lots of love to keep them going. If you're on here, then know I enjoyed every second of reading your story ♡
There will be two parts 4 as it's (sadly?) too long to be saved under one post. Stay tuned for part 5, joon recs will be added!
Please let me know if some of the links aren’t working. Happy reading!
⊹ Navi ‣ Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 4.1 | Part 5 |
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⊹ Merry Kinkmas - part 02 Enemies to lovers au au | s | @bebejungkook ‣ You find out who your secret Santa was but his gift was a little too personal.
⊹ In Your Arms Tonight College au | s, f | @angelguk ‣ “I’m Team I Would Like To Be Fucked Tonight.” You stated, blatantly ignoring the stink eye he shot your way. “But clearly that’s not on our agenda. Have you ever seen Vampires Suck?”
⊹ Baecation Richboy!jk au | s, f | @1kook ‣ “Lose the top, or lose the right to present yourself in any low back gown for the next three months.” He truly knew the way to your heart.
⊹ Act Of Falling Fuckboy!jk au | s, f , a | @kooktrash ‣ What was supposed to be a meaningless fling has turned into much more before you both realized you were falling. Now all you can do is hope that all the challenges you’ve faced are worth something.
⊹ Candles & Flames Royal AU | s, f, a | @taegularities ‣  He wasn’t supposed to be yours. His foolery wasn’t supposed to target you. This wasn’t supposed to happen.
⊹ Distractions Practice couple au | s, f | @chryblossomjjk ‣ Jungkook agreed to let you do his makeup, but he can't stop getting distracted.
⊹ Naughty Boy Step siblings au | s | @scribblemetae ‣ Reader is older step sister that knows he has a crush on her/yandere tendencies & she teases him until one day he gives in. 
⊹ When It Feels Right (read part 1 first) Divorce au | a, f | @7deadlysinsfics ‣ Although Jungkook is struggling with the decision he made months ago, he still thinks it was the best thing he could’ve done for your safety. But he isn’t doing well, and his friends are worried about him and how he’s choosing to deal with his feelings. Meanwhile, you’re now living with your brother, his wife, and their ten-month-old daughter, who has helped bring some light into your life. Just as you decide to tell Jungkook the truth about your pregnancy, he appears at your brother’s house with a truth of his own.
⊹ When She Loved Me Terminally Ill au | s, f, a | @jungkookstatts ‣ How does one live when life is bound to end? 
⊹ your step brother fucking you in front of your parents Step siblings au | s | @aris-ink
⊹ Don't Blame Me (on-going) Single Dad au | s, f, a | @thvhoe ‣ Jungkook is known for his good looks and is often described by your friends as "daddy material." Funny enough, he actually was a daddy. The daddy of the baby girl you babysit every Saturday. Working as a nanny for the world's grumpiest single dad should have been easy, but you can't keep your eyes off him. He's handsome, a little arrogant, with broad shoulders and strong tattooed arms. And when he decides he can't keep his hands off of you. Who are you to resist?
⊹ Rolling Stone Idol au | s, f , a | @kooktrash ‣ He was a rolling stone with no ties to anyone or any place and that’s how he and his fans liked it. Now he’s found you and it’s never been this hard to convince someone that he’ll stay. The problem is neither of you know what it means to express yourselves without reverting to sex as a form to end discussion. It causes all hell to break loose when Jungkook realized if he wants you to stay for him [with him] then he needs to show it to you too. Can Jungkook and Y/n get past their own growing doubts on if what they feel is real and work out a way to be together—especially considering Y/n wants nothing to do with the limelight?
⊹ The Ability To Fantom - part 02 (on-going) Brother’s best friend au | a, f | @hanniwrites ‣ You are shocked when your friends reveal their theory: Jungkook, your brother’s annoying best friend, has a crush on you. A bad one.
⊹ Torn Apart Infidelity au | s, a | @bethschamberoftales ‣ That one time when you caught your boyfriend cheating on you.
⊹ My Love Is Here (series) Unrequited love to requited | s, f, a | @solemnreads ‣ You didn’t mean for it to happen. It’s not like you purposely woke up one day and thought “Hey I’m going to fall in love with my best friend!” No, that is not at all what happened.
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⊹ I'll Stop Tomorrow Friends with benefits AU | s, a | @dreamyjoons ‣ You know it has to end.
⊹ Just A Taste Spring break AU | s, f | @cutechim ‣ “Your lips make me wonder what the rest of you would taste like.”
⊹ Flat Tire Established relationship AU | s, f | @ppersonna ‣ How do you pass the time when you’re stuck on the side of the road with your boyfriend, with a flat tire?
⊹ One Mistake (on-going) Idol!Tae & Cheating AU | a | @vamours ‣ it’s been three years since you and Taehyung had started dating. recently, you’ve started to notice changes in taehyung’s behavior towards you. with your four years anniversary only a few weeks away, you’ve come to discover the truth.
⊹ Akrasia Strangers to? | s | @nitaescence ‣ Basically two strangers fucking in a crowded bus.
⊹ Stepdad Taehyung Step!father au | s | @aris-ink ‣ "He was not touching himself right beside you. No, that was not possible"
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⊹ Rock Bottom Idol Jimin AU | s, f, a | @jkbabiey ‣ When, in a four-year marriage, you get to the point where you question its worth, you know that’s your rock bottom. How many I’m sorry’s will you handle? How many times are too many times?
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⊹ What's Poppin Established relationship AU, | f, s | @joonberriess ‣ Yoongi being the type to buy you a chain cause if he’s pimped out, his girl gotta be too.
⊹ Foundation - Part 01, 02, 03 feat Yoongi Non-idol doctors AU | f , s, a | @hamsterclaw ‣ You know Jungkook is a fuckboy. So why are you letting him fuck with you? Featuring Yoongi.
⊹ Looks so refreshed Idol AU | s | @kimnjss ‣ Friends with benefits is hard, but when he’s an international superstar… It’s much harder. So while you love his friends to death, spending the night holed up in his hotel room just sounds a lot more fun than a dinner party.
⊹ Friends (3TAN) Brother's best friend AU | f, s, a | @kithtaehyung ‣ The week you get with Yoongi has a few surprises. and one of them presents itself in the form of a phone call.
⊹ So it goes Friends with benefits (ish) AU | f , s | @prodagustd ‣  You and Yoongi have been hooking up, having dates and spending most of the week together for almost seven months. He was comfortable without a title, until the last two weeks, when you couldn't see him because of your busy schedule, Yoongi can't understand why he misses you so bad if your relationship is just sex to him. Or maybe he does, but he's too much of a coward to admit it..
⊹ Marry me, Yoongi Established relationship AU | f, s | @spideyjimin ‣ When Yoongi decides to get married in vegas after all the fan’s comments on the vlives.  
⊹ Amour Propre Established relationship AU | a | @randombtsprincessa ‣ Crumbling Relationship with one Min Yoongi
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⊹Your Universe Rejection AU | f, a, s | @muniimyg ‣ Regretting rejecting oc, Min Yoongi goes through a circus load of gestures and tasks in attempt to be loved again
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samandcolbyownme · 6 months
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Summary: anon request - "Hi can u do one like should've stayed home but with Sam please and can u make it so they end up fighting about leaving and not wanting to leave and so the car ride home is silent leaving Colby feeling awkward until they get home then they make up after a little bit more arguing please please pleas thank u."
Warning: This one shot will get dark at parts and contain the reader being targeted by the spirits and some actions include; being touched, pushed, choked, scratched, spoken to, and other things some readers might find a bit creepy. There will also be mentions of murder and such at the place of exploration and other bad things some readers may be triggered by and there will be a short SMUT scene at the end.
I also kinda changed around the ending a little bit, hope you don't mind!
Word count: 8.1K
"What's up guys. It's Sam and Colby."
You stand off to the side, watching as they do their intro, "Today." Sam presses his hands together and leans in, "We are at the Agatha Asylum, or better known as the worst place to be sent if you were already having a bad day."
"It's said that people who had, or thought to have had any kind of mental illness were sent here for-" Colby puts air quotes, "-help.. and they were punished by being chained to walls, stuck in cages, beaten, and most even faced death."
"We are here today to see if we can get some answers as to why the person in charge, John Agatha, would do something like this." Sam glances over at you, "We also have with us a very special guest, y/n."
You walk over, standing in between Sam and Colby and hold your hand up, "I don't know why I'm here. I hate asylums."
"You volunteered to handcuff yourself to the wall, remember?" Colby jokes and looks at you. You raise your eyebrows, "The fuck I did."
"Anyway." Sam tries not to laugh, "We are currently waiting on the owner of this asylum to get here so we can get a tour and get a feel for what we will be dealing with.." Sam looks over at the road, "I think that's them now."
A car pulls up and parks, stepping out is a man and women.
"Are you Mark and Cindy?" Colby asks walking over and the man nods, "Yes, are you Sam and Colby?" Sam holds his hand up, "I'm Sam, this is my girlfriend y/n and that's Colby."
You all say hello and they jump right into it, "So.." Cindy starts out, "This is Agatha Asylum." She motions towards the building behind the fence, "This is to keep anyone out, since we're trying to get it ready to present to the public, we have it blocked off so people don't get in without us knowing. Or we try to at least."
"Have people gotten in?" Colby asks and Mark nod, "Oh yeah. We eventually set up security cameras around the perimeter. The day we noticed a broken window and spray paint lids, actually."
"What kind of things happened here exactly?" Sam asks handing the camera to Colby.
Cindy blows air, "Oh gosh, anything from restraining the patients inhumanly to keeping them locked in cages that were maybe, if they were lucky, a little bigger than themselves."
You raise your eyebrows, "What the hell?"
Mark nods, "most of the women who came in were attacked by the staff if you know what I mean so I'm sure the women are angry. I mean, hell I would be too if I was stuck here."
"Have you guys had any thing happen to you?" Colby asks, "Like personally or maybe to someone you know that has come here."
Mark nods, "Yeah, I've had my tools messed with, moved. Cindy has been pushed down the steps, and one of my guys who are working with me on getting this ready, was pushed from his ladder."
"Pushed off a lad- oh shit." Sam shakes his head, "Is there anything we need to know before going in there? Like maybe who to try and get in contact with or what not to ask?"
"John Agatha. He's the one who ran this place. Many people have tried to contact him but they never got any real answers as to why." Cindy says, "Just make your intentions known, I know some of the spirits in there can get pretty mean, so just keep reminding them that you mean no harm."
"Has anyone stayed a full night here?" You ask and they laugh, "No."
"No?" Colby asks raising his eyebrows, "Looks like we have a challenge on our hands, guys." He looks over at you and Sam and Sam shakes his head, "I'm already shitting my pants, dude."
"You all will by the time it gets dark. It's a pretty active place during the day, don't get me wrong, but not only me, but from other groups that came through as well, said it's gets worse at night." Mark sighs, "So. Who's ready for the tour?"
"You guys have fun, I'm going home." Colby pretends to walk away before turning back around, "No, let's go before I really do change my mind."
.·:*¨ ✘ ¨*:·.
"So this hallway leads you to where most of the women were held.." Cindy points to the right and then to the left, "Men were held that way."
"Is there any specific areas as to where the most activity happens?" Sam asks laying his hand on your back as he steps around you, "Where were the cages kept exactly?"
"This whole place, honestly. You're bound to get activity anywhere in here and there were at least two cages per room."
"Per room?" You raise your eyebrows, "How many were kept in a room at one time?"
"Two but some held up to four, depending on many were here and came in and what not." Mark says looking around. He stares down the hallway and Sam turns the camera, "Did you see something?"
"A shadow moved across then end of that hallway there." He points, "No taller than you." He motions to Colby and Colby shrugs, "Sorry. I'm just that fast."
He starts pretending to Sonic run in place. You laugh and shake your head, "You can't be serious at all can you?" He shakes his head, "Not when I'm scared shitless, no."
Mark and Cindy laugh and start walking down the hall way. They explain each room briefly, basically what it was used for until you finally reach an old wooden door that's laying on the floor.
"This is where they kept, what they called, the worst of the worst." Mark lifts the door, revealing a steep staircase, "Watch your step as you come down."
"This is a really odd basement entrance." Sam says handing the camera to Colby, "What the hell."
Mark and Cindy go down first, followed by Sam then you. He helps you down, coaching you through the steps until you reach the bottom.
"What you're not going to help me?" Colby asks looking over his shoulder at Sam. All of you start baby talking to Colby coaching him down the steps and he stands there with his lips pressed together, "Should have never said anything."
Sam takes the camera, making sure Colby is good before turning around, "What is up with freaking jail cells in the basements of these places?"
"Literally." You mumble as you wrap your arms around yourself, "It's so cold down here. Did they have any sort of heat at the time of this place being open?"
Mark shakes his head, "They had a fireplace over there but as you can see it got filled from the outside in so who knows when that happened."
There's a loud thud from upstairs and you jump, "the fuck?"
Colby points, "That sounded like the door lifted up and dropped back down." Sam nods, "Yeah yeah yeah."
"Very well could have been. Doors opening on their own is very common around here." Cindy says, "Especially the third floor, that's where lots of the killings happened."
"Why the third floor?" Colby asks, "Why not down here?"
"The patients ended up dying all over the place, but if they were ordered to be put out by John, they would drag them up the stairs, kill them then dump their bodies out of the back window, into what was said to be a big wagon and then taken about half a mile away and they would just burn them and then just cover the hole with dirt."
"That answers my question about what they do with the bodies." Sam cringes, "I can't even imagine that."
"The hauntings and activity started a year or two after the patients first started to die. So if you can, try to contact.. oh shit. Was was his name?" Cindy looks at Mark and he shakes his head, "Oh, you mean Warren Summers?"
She nods, "Yes! He was reported to be the first to die, they ruled his death an accident but we all know it wasn't."
"Well definitely try to contact him, find out some answers." Colby nods and mark motions, "Alright, I need to get out of here, this spot makes me feel sick."
"Whoa really?" Sam looks at Colby, "Do you feel okay?" Colby nods and Sam looks at you, "Do you feel alright?"
You nod your head, "I mean, I feel like there's pressure on my chest, but it's not like, oh my god I can't breathe, kinda pressure."
"Let's get out of here and we'll just start in the main lobby." Sam says as he walks you over to the stairs. You go up first, followed by Sam and he turns around, "Come on, Colby." His voice is high pitched, "You can do it!"
Colby glares up at him from mid stairs and shakes his head as he laughs, "Thanks buddy. I needed that."
Mark and Cindy make their way up and she points to you, "Are you sure they're the ones not together?"
You sigh and shrug, "Sometimes I feel like I'm in a competition." You laugh and look over at Colby who does the, I'm watching you, motion.
.·:*¨ ✘ ¨*:·.
"Alright, guys. We have the REM pod here, and we're going to start out easy tonight by starting in the lobby." Sam walks over to the desk, setting the pod down, "It was said that there was a receptionist here who just so happened to be John's wife, Mabel, so she had to known everything you'd think."
"Didn't mark say that she disappeared randomly one day and no one really looked for her?" You ask looking at Sam, and he nods, "Yeah yeah yeah, maybe she didn't know what was going on and when she started to find out he silenced her?"
"John Agatha was a very wealthy man at the time of his death, so it very well could be or he offed her because she knew he had money?" Colby shrugs, "I mean, there's really only one way to find out."
Colby leans forward, switching on the pod and testing it a few times before stepping back, "Ladies first." He smirks towards you and you roll your eyes playfully, "Okay. Hello, my name is y/n. I mean no harm, I'm just here to ask you a few questions if that's okay."
The pod lights up and you straight up slightly, "If it's okay that I ask, can you touch that little light for me again?"
It lights up and you look between Sam and Colby, "Okay." You look back, "Thank you. Am I speaking to the wife of John Agatha? Mabel. If so touch that light for me again."
A few seconds go by before the light goes off, "Thank you, Mabel."
Sam hands the camera to Colby, "Hello, Mabel, I'm Sam. I come with peace and the possibility of finding out what happened here. I'd like to ask you something too if that's okay."
The pod lights up and Sam takes a deep breath, "Did your husband.. end your life?"
Right after the pod lights up, it stops and there's a loud crash from slightly far away.
You all jump, yelling out cuss words. You lean around Sam the look down the hallway, "What the hell was that?"
"It sounded like something big fell, like you know those big metal carts the food trays are served on? It sounded like one of those and everything in it just falling out." Colby moves forward, "Should we go check it out?"
The rem pod lights up three times in a row and you all look back at it before looking at each other.
"My name is Colby, I mean no harm to you or anyone else here. Was that a warning? Should we not go look?" Colby asks and it lights up one time quickly, "Make that go off for me if that was a yes."
Instantly turns on.
"Fuck, okay." Colby turns to Sam, "What do we do?"
Sam shakes his head, "If we're being told not to go there, we shouldn't."
"That hasn't stopped us before." Colby chuckles slightly, "Y/n."
You're zoned out on the dark hallway where the sound came from, you know that Colby has the camera on you, but you can't acknowledge it.
You feel Sam's hand on you, pulling you back as your body is trying to go forward, "Hey, hey. Y/n. Look at me." Sam steps in front of you, breaking your stare and you shake your head slightly.
He looks up at Colby and back to you, "What just happened? Talk to me." Sam lays his hands on your cheeks and keeps your head straight, "Hey."
"I felt something calling me towards where the sound came from." You lay your hand on Sam's bicep, "It was weird."
"What the fuck." Sam whispers as he looks back up at Colby and he shrugs, "Okay, we'll just go to the left wing, give whatever that is, time to do whatever it needs to do."
Sam pulls you with him, as you still felt drawn.
"So something just took over y/n pretty much." Colby explains, "Y/n, what happened?" He points the camera on you and you laugh slightly, "Um, I don't really know.. like you know how when you're so tired you just zone out?"
They nod and you sigh, "It was like that, but I swear there was a figure standing there, watching us and I was just having some sort of stare down with him."
"You started walking towards it, then. Like what happened with that?" Colby follows up, "Like did it say anything?"
You shake your head, "I knew you had the camera on me, and I knew Sam was pulling me back, but no. Nothing was said, it just stood there watching us and I just felt like I needed to go there."
"John Agatha?" Sam whispers, "Could it- do you think it was him?" You shrug, "Maybe? I don't know, it was the same figure Mark saw I think.. he was really no taller than Colby."
"It had to be, maybe he's trying to tell us to get out or maybe.. with a sliver of luck, he wants to explain himself." Colby shakes his head, "I don't know, let's just avoid that area until we cover this side."
Colby grabs the pod, switching it off as he turns back towards you and Sam, "Are you okay like do you feel alright?"
You nod, even though you feel like you could puke, "Yeah, yeah I'm good."
Sam rubs your arm, "You sure?"
You nod again, "Yes, Sam. I'm sure."
He could tell something was off, but he trusted you. He knew you'd stop if you really couldn't handle it.
"Where to next?" You ask as you take his hand into yours. Sam squeezes your hand and points, "I figured we could go into the day room, that's where Paul Yellow allegedly killed his roommate."
"These two men specifically had beef with each other.." Colby starts out as he hands the camera to Sam who lets go of your hand to take it, "..it was said that they would always be stealing from each other and would always be trying to get one another in trouble, but no one would admit to it, so the staff basically let them handle it themselves and that's when Paul came into the day room with a hammer that he somehow found, and bludgeoned Frank to death."
"Yeah in front of everyone but the staff were basically the only, " sam turns the camera around to him, putting at quotes, "Sane ones here, so they covered it up basically by saying that Frank fell and that was that."
"Wasn't Paul taken by the staff and tortured?" You ask as you look over at Sam. He nods, "Pretty much, yes."
As Sam and Colby explain what you guys were going to do next, you walked over to the window, looking out into the old courtyard.
"Come over here."
You turn around, walking over to Sam, "What?" He looks at you confused, "What?" You look between him and Colby, "Didn't you just tell me to come over here?"
Sam looks up at Colby and back down to you, "No I was getting the EMF ready."
You motion towards the window, "I swear to god, you said, come over here, when I was standing at the window."
Colby's eyes go wide, "He didn't say that." He shakes his head, "Oh fuck."
"So if you didn't sa-"
The sound of, what you think, is a metal trash can sliding across the floor makes you stop talking. It's quick, but you all hear it.
"Something just got drug or pushed across the floor." Sam whispers, "Fuck, fuck, okay. Let's get this thing going.." he turns on the EMF and you all step back.
"I'm y/n. I come in peace, I just want to ask a few questions. Paul Yellow, did you tell me to come over here?" You bite down on your cheek, waiting for the device to give you an answer.
"Were you over by the window with me?" You ask and it lights up green, "was it Paul?"
It lights up red.
"Are we talking to Frank?" Colby asks and it lights up green, "Did Paul kill you?"
Lights up red.
"Was it someone else?" Sam asks trying to keep the camera still and he looks over at you when it lights up green.
"Who else co-" you stop, "Was it one of the staff, Frank?"
Instant green.
"One of the staff did it then blamed Paul?" Colby looks shocked and he jumps slightly as it lights up green, "Holy shit, dude."
"I wonder if they've had anyone figure this out." Sam asks and he turns around, "Did you hear that?" You lean around to look, listening for the sound. Sam looks back, "It sounded like someone was walking and dragging their hand along the wall."
The sound Sam explained happened again and you look up at him, "That?" Sam nods, "Exactly that."
"Something is following us." Colby says quietly, "It has to be."
The EMF lights up green and you all look at each other, "Is it John Agatha?" You glance back at the EMF, "All you need to do is-"
It lights up green and you sigh, "Thank you." A thump against the wall makes you jump, "I don't think he likes being told what to do." You joke which makes Colby laugh, Sam just shakes his head.
"You good, bro?" Colby pushes his arm and looks at him. Sam smiles slightly, "Yeah, no I'm good."
You find yourself being pulled into that stare again, this time it's in the corner of the day room, but nothing is there.
"Colby. Colby." Sam says as he grabs you by the waist. You try to pull away from him, but he wraps his arm around you, "Y/n. Snap out of it, come on."
You lean back into him, "There's something over there."
"You aren't going over there alone." He fights back as he switches his flash light on, revealing just the ripped wallpaper, "See. Nothing."
"There was." You turn around, "he was watching us."
"Who? John?" Colby asks and the EMF lights up green, "Maybe we should try the-" the loud crashing sound makes him stop talking instantly.
"You don't think people got in here do you?" Sam tightens his grip on your waist, "We tweeted about coming here.. so like.."
"They have cameras all around the perimeter they said, and I'm sure they would have told us if they saw something." Sam says as he pulls his phone out, "Let me call Mark, see if he can tell me if there was anything outside."
As Sam calls mark, you close your eyes, resting your head back on his shoulder. Colby walks up, squeezing your arm, "You still with us?"
You open your eyes, nodding, "Yeah I just got really dizzy."
Sam looks down at you and puts the phone on speaker, "There was nothing outside?"
"Not since you went back inside." Mark says on the other end of the phone, "If you do decide to leave just make sure you lock the gate and we can get the key tomorrow."
"Alright, yeah. We'll let you know." Sam says and they end the call, "So it's just us in here." He looks down at you, "Are you okay?"
You nod and stand up, "Yeah, I'm good."
"You're not dizzy anymore?" He brushes hair from your face and you shake your head, "No I'm good."
"I'm thinking we move from here and we go to the third floor." Colby walks over and Sam stops you from following him, "We can leave if this is too much."
"Sam. I'm fine. I promise."
"I don't like the way you just zone out and try to walk away. That's not like you, that isn't you." His eyes scan over your face and you weren't sure if it was the place effecting you, but you just wanted to keep going, "Something is drawing us to that hallway."
"What do you mean?" Sam shakes his head, "Y/n, I don't want you out of my sight, this place is too big and too dark for you to just go off away from us."
"Then put me on a leash or something, because I'm not done here."
You've never spoken to Sam like that. Ever. So when you said it, you were both surprised, "I'm.. sorry, I don't know where that came from."
"My point exactly." Sam chews on his lip, trying to tell himself over and over again that this place is a lot more powerful than they thought.
"What's going on? You guys okay?"
"Yes." You say the same time Sam says, "No."
Colby looks between the two of you then back to Sam. Sam sighs, "This place obviously has a hold over you, y/n. So everything is not okay."
"What-" Colby starts but you cut him off, looking directly at Sam, "Sam. This is what we do. you can't expect me to just back out every time something hap-"
Sam cuts you off, "Yours being pulled by what we can only assume is a dark entity. How do you expect me to act? Just let you walk off into the sunset with it? No. No thanks."
"Guys, come on.. just take a deep breath. There's absolutely no need to argue." Colby tries to settle the situation but it only seemed to fire up the ghosts because it sounds like a table is lifted then dropped back down.
Sam instantly grabs you, pulling you to him, "You're staying close."
You don't put up any more of a fight, knowing that Sam would drag you out himself if he had to, "Fine."
You knew he was right. As soon as you seen the figure in the hallway, something switched and it was like you needed to follow it.
And you didn't know why.
"Why don't we just go there?" Colby says as you guys leave the day room, "Where the sound happened. If it gets bad we can just leave, we always have that option."
You knew Colby wanted to stay, too, but he was also worried about Sam because he was worried about you, "What do you want to do, Sam?"
Sam thinks for a moment before sighing, "If you zone out one more time and try to walk away from us, we're leaving."
.·:*¨ ✘ ¨*:·.
The investigation went on to be better than you guys thought. Nothing happened to you. Nothing happened to them, you thought that maybe your small argument with Sam helped, but you'd soon come to find out that was not true at all.
"So as you guys could see, there hasn't really been much activity going on, probably for the last hour or two." Colby says and motions towards the spirit box, "We brought this to the third floor, hoping to see if we can figure out what exactly happened to some of the patients."
Sam sets the camera down on the one table, angling it towards you guys and the box, "Okay, we'll sit this right here and.." Sam stands up and turns around, "Did you touch me?"
You shake your head, "We've been over here."
"My whole body like shifted and it felt like someone's hand on my side." He lays his hand right where he felt it, "like right here exactly." Colby walks over and Sam demonstrates on him what he felt.
"fucking hell that's creepy." Colby shakes his head, "You know when we were walking up the stairs, it felt like someone else was behind us."
"I thought I heard someone whistle or whisper, I don't know.. it was like a quiet high pitched sound, but I couldn't make out if it was a word or not." You look around, "This floor honestly makes me nervous, and those creepy steps didn't help."
"Those stairs the whole way up I just kept thinking about how people were actually getting dragged up and sown." Sam shakes his head, "let's just.. get this thing going."
Sam was off, and you picked up on it quickly. It was almost like what took over you, took over Sam.
"Sam?" You step towards him, "Sam... Colby.. colby."
He stares at the floor and Colby walks up to him, "Sam, dude. Hey."
You shake him slightly and he looks back up, "Let's get this thing going."
You look at Colby and back to Sam, "You already said that." He looks at you confused, "Huh?" He laughs nervously, "No I didn't."
Colby nods, "You did, man. You zoned out after, looking at the floor."
Sam looks at you, "Did it come after me now?"
You shrug, "I was thinking that, because isn't that what I did?" You look at Colby and he nods, "yes but the only thing is he didn't try to walk off."
Sam switches the box on, "What do you want with us?"
"... I want ... to know.."
"You want to know what?" Colby asks loudly, "did you take over y/n and Sam?"
"... Miss.. it ..."
"You miss what?" You ask, "Do you miss being alive?"
" ... alive ..."
"You are not welcome to touch us. You cannot control us." Sam says, "What do you want us to see?"
"... the... truth .. in here .."
"Were you murdered here?" Colby asks and it sounds like something bouncing down the steps, "Was that you making that noise?"
"... must get ... out..."
"Are you telling us to get out? Or do you want to get out?" Sam presses his fingers to his lips, "Can you tell us who we're talking to?"
"... he's in.. here .."
"Who? Who is in here?" You ask staring at the box, "Can you tell us who is here with us?"
" ... John .. murder .."
"John and murder?" Colby looks at you guys, "Did John murder you? Were you murdered by John Agatha?"
"... liar .. he lies ..."
"Did John lie about your death?" You ask and step closer to Sam, "What did he do to you?"
"... tried to run.."
"Did you try and escape? Did he punish you for that?" Colby asks and jumps next to you when the door to the one room slams shut, "Who is here with us? Reveal your name to us."
"... John .. is mad..."
"Is he mad that we're here trying to find out what he did?" You ask and Sam looks at you, "I think we should stop."
You felt the need to keep going, "Can he come in here with us?"
"Y/n." Colby looks at you then to Sam, jumping as heavy footsteps come down the hallway, "Sam's right." Colby reaches to switch off the spirit box, but you stop him, "Just wait."
Sam nods at him, chewing on his lip as the footsteps start again.
"John Agatha. If you're here, tell us why you killed those people." You glance towards the door, only to snap your head back to the box,
"... they needed to die ..."
"No they didn't. They were sick." You argue and Sam pulls you back, "That's enough." You push away from him, "Sam. We're getting answers."
"No, you're arguing with something that we're unsure of. You don't know the power of this thing. " Sam runs a hand through his hair, "I think we're done. I don't like this-"
"Colby do you want to leave?" You look at Colby and he holds his hands up, "I think I'm with Sam on this one."
You roll your eyes, "Of course you do."
"Y/n. What the hell has gotten into you?" Sam looks at you shocked, "You have never acted this way during one of these and that's why we're done." He grabs your wrist, holding onto you, "We are done here."
"... no .."
Sam shakes his head and turns off the box, "I'm not doing this. We can talk about this at home."
You turn around, finding Colby no where in the room, "Colby?" You call out, "Sam. Colby is gone." Sam's heart starts to race, "Fuck, yo Colby?"
No answer.
"Fuck. Fuck. Come on." He hands you the camera, and turns on his flashlight, yelling for Colby as you make your way to the stairs.
"Careful, careful." Sam makes sure you make it down okay before stopping at the bottom, "You don't think he went to the basement did you?"
"Or where the sound came from? That's where I was feeling drawn to." You look around, sighing, "Fuck. Fuck. Colby?!"
You hear a loud thump come from where the first crash happened, "We have to." You look at Sam and he nods, "Yeah, yeah. I know." He interlocks his fingers with yours and pulls you with him.
You both yell out for Colby, looking for any kind of sign, "Colby? Come on this isn't funny." Your voice kinda breaks as your fear builds up faster and faster.
"Colby. Come on man, we're leaving." Sam yells out and you stop when you see a metal cart laying on its side, old trays spilling out from the door that is open.
"He was right, that's what that sound was earlier when we started." Sam shines the flashlight on it and looks up, "Colby?"
"Wait." You stop Sam, "Isn't John's office over here?"
His eyes go wide, "Fuck, yeah it is." He turns towards the walkway, "Colby!?"
You perk up, "Wait. I think.." you whisper, "Yell out to him again."
"Colby?!"
"This way." You pull Sam down the hall, half preparing yourself for when Colby jumps out and scares you both, or at least you're hoping that's what he's doing.
"Colby? Please." You beg, hoping you can find him.
"If we just left when I said.."
You stop, cutting Sam off, "No. we aren't playing the blame game because right now our friend is lost and we have no idea where he is."
"Where who is?" Colby walks up, and you Sam let out a scream.
"Where the fuck did you go?" Sam yells, "You just up and left us dude. Why?"
"You guys were arguing and I thought I heard someone in the hallway, so I came out to see and then I was halfway down the steps. I thought I saw people, like teenagers run to the left and my first instinct was to just go." Colby explains, "I don't know dude. Really, I was running and then I was like wait, I'll get lost so I turned around and now we're here."
"You could have been hurt, Colby." You push his shoulder and he just shrugs.
"Sorry man." Sam lays a hand on his shoulder, "last I knew you were right behind us."
He nods, "it's fucking crazy. This place is a maze, and I don't mean physically either."
"Let's just.. go get the stuff and head out to the car." Sam sighs, pointing the camera to Colby, "We found him. He says there were people here but we aren't sure about anything, and I mean that about this whole entire place."
"I don't even know how to describe it other than what y/n said. Like that tired feeling and then I wasn't where I remember I was." Colby explains and you nod, "Yeah like you can tell what you're doing but you aren't focused on what you're doing."
"Alright well I think that's it for-" Sam stops talking and looks behind him, "There was just.. three knocks." He whips around looking at you guys when it happens again, "that.. that.."
"What the hell is that?" Colby whispers and you're pushed towards the way the office is, "Do not touch me. Do not touch any of us." You hold your hand up, "Fuck."
"Y/n. We need to go." Colby steps towards you and you shake your head, "we can't leave."
"We aren't arguing again, y/n." Sam walks towards you and when he goes to grab your hand, he's pushed back.
Colby snaps his head towards the hall, "Someone just said don't touch her." He looks at Sam, "I swear to god dude. A clear as day whisper like right behind me."
You feel something grab your hair and lift it off of your shoulder. You jump and brush a hand over, "Something just played with my hair."
"We're leaving."
As you go to collect the equipment, that's when things take a turn for the weird.
"So, maybe Colby was right. We heard things..." Sam says as he tries to control his breathing, "We aren't sure what it was exactly, right now we're just ducked down behind this desk thing."
"That's what I heard earlier, but you'd think if it was actual people they'd make a lot more noise than just footsteps, right?" Colby whispers leaning in towards you and Sam. Sam's grips on your hand tightens as the foot steps grow closer.
They stop abruptly and Colby stands up, "There's no one here." Sam pulls your arm, "Let's just make a run for it."
You guys book into the door, breathing heavy as Colby closes it with a slam. Sam pulls you away from the building, "you okay?"
You nod, "Yeah, yeah are you?" He nods and pulls you into him, hugging you tightly.
"That was fucking crazy." Colby says walking around you guys, "I've never experienced anything like that. Like we were affected in a way we can't really explain in depth."
"This doesn't feel finished, though." You pull away from Sam and he stares at you, "What?"
You look between him and Colby, "Exactly what I said."
And you meant that. You wanted to come back here, get more answers about this asylum. You knew more happened here than what people have said.
"You're going to really stand here, and tell me that you want to go back in there." Sam scoffs, "Even after what you had happen? What I had happen? Christ, y/n, Colby went missing for god knows how long."
He puts his hands on his head and spins around slowly, trying to comprehend as to why you'd want to.
"Because there's more in there, more stuff that people don't know and I want to be the one to find out exactly what it is." You point to the building and drop your hand, "If you don't want to then I'll come back myself."
"The fuck you will." Sam shakes his head, "Y/n. You could have been the one lost. You could have been the one lost in there, alone.. and I don't-" his voice cracks and he clears his throat, "You're not coming back here and I mean that."
"Why don't we -"
"Stay out of this, Colby." You and Sam say looking over at him.
He holds his hands up and walks over to the car while you and Sam still argue.
"You didn't know what you were doing, y/n. Okay? You could have easily got lost." Sam looks at you and you shrug, "But I didn't."
He stares at you a few moments before shaking his head, "The only reason you want to come back here is because whatever is on the other side of that door is making you want to come back."
You clench your jaw, knowing that he's right but since you're fighting, you don't want to let him win easy.
"That place changed you." Sam says lowly, "We have never, ever fought like this, we've never fought at all. Doesn't that mean anything?"
"Never said it didn't, Sam." You mumble as you walk towards the car, getting into the back. You glance over, seeing Sam bend down slightly before kicking the rocks on the ground and walking over to get in the passenger seat of the car.
"Home?" Colby asks starting the car.
You and Sam both mumble a low, "Mhm." Colby takes a deep breath and starts to drive out of the gate, "I have to lock up. Don't kill each other." He gets out, jogging up to shut the gate.
Sam glances back at you and you look at him. He sighs, "I'm still mad, but I love you."
You try not to smile, "I love you."
Colby gets back into the car, "Did you guys makeup yet?" You both refuse to answer and he laughs sarcastically to himself, "Oh this is going to be such a wonderful quiet ride home."
.·:*¨ ✘ ¨*:·.
"We have like half an hour left, do you want to stop somewhere and get something to eat?" Colby looks at Sam and he nods, "Yeah, that works." He looks back at you, "Are you hungry?"
"Yeah." You say lowly with a slight nod.
"Are we finally speaking to each other?" Colby acts surprised, "Wow. It's about time."
You roll your eyes and Sam scoffs, "I'm mad, that doesn't mean I don't care about her still."
You smile slightly, looking away from him so he doesn't see it. You get out of the car and go to walk in but Colby stops you, "We weren't us back there. Don't hold it over his head."
"Tell that to him." You mumble and he nods, "I plan to, trust me. I just got to you first." You laugh as you walk in to the store and Colby walks up to Sam, telling him the same thing he told you.
As you're standing there, looking at the snacks, you feel hands slides around your waist and pull you back, "You know.."
"What do I know?" You ask as your nails gently graze over his hands, "Even though you pissed me off.." his voice goes quiet, "The way you argued with the ghost was such a turn on."
You smirk and turn around to face him, wrapping your arms around his neck, "Is that your way of saying you're sorry?" He bites his bottom lip as he looks at you, "I'll say it when we get home."
He winks at you and leans in to kiss you. You slide your fingers in his hair, humming against his lips slightly.
Colby walks up, "Now that's what I like to see."
You and Sam pull away and look at him. He has a big cheesy smirk on his face and you can't help but laugh, "What would we do without him?"
Colby buts in, "Oh i don't know, probably give each other the silent treatment until days from now."
Sam chuckles and sighs, "That wasn't any of us back there." You look up at him, "Yeah.. that was bad."
Colby nods, "I've never seen you act the way you did, y/n. Honestly it was kinda badass. Arguing with a potential demon."
Sam nods, looking down at you. You look up at him, "I learned from the best."
You grab your snacks and head out to the car, getting into the back as they get up front, "So now that this is no longer a quiet ride home, and I am no longer feeling awkward, can we please talk about what happened?"
"Mhm. Yeah sure." Sam mumbles as he stares down at his phone. Colby looks over at him before he starts driving, "What are you doing?"
You phone vibrates and you see a message from Sam, "Colby don't look at his phone. I beg you."
"Why can be so-" he reads over the message that was sent from Sam's phone, you've had me low key turned on this entire night, when we get home I'm going to show you just how sorry I am.
"Well, okay." Colby sits forward, "That awkward part is back."
You laugh, replying to Sam, just how are you going to do that?
Colby clears his throat, "Can we.." he laughs, "Can you stop sexting each other for one second so we can do the outro please?"
You sigh, resting your phone down on the seat next to you, "anything for princess Colby." He lays his hand under his chin, "As it should be."
You and Sam both laugh and he gets the camera rolling, "We are currently on our way home. Tonight was.." Sam sighs and looks at Colby, "I don't even know how to explain it."
"A big mess." You laugh and Colby sighs, "It was definitely something like that. I'm still trying to wrap my head around the fact that we were .. taken over basically."
"Yeah, yeah no. That part was absolutely fucked up. I luckily didn't have it happen like y/n or Colby did, but it was still a surreal feeling to have people telling you that you zoned out with absolutely no recollection of it at all." Sam points his thumb back to you, "And then you got Mrs I like to argue with ghosts back here, but that's a story we'll post on our other channel, maybe, who knows, but we are done for tonight, like I said, it was a whirlwind of events and we are so excited for you guys to see what we experienced tonight at the Agatha Asylum."
"Drop a like if Mrs I like to argue with ghosts should be made into a sweatshirt." Colby gives a thumbs up and Sam yells, "Ayyyy yes. Y/n." He points the camera to you, "How would you like to have your own collection."
"That would be pretty sick." You smile and nod, "I actually like that a lot."
Sam points the camera to himself, "Well have to work on it. See you guys in the next one."
Sam cuts the camera off, "Mrs I like to argue with ghosts." He laughs and looks back at you, "I'm getting you a hoodie that says that."
You smile and nod, "I'll wear it everyday."
.·:*¨ ✘ ¨*:·.
"Have fun. I'll be down here editing away from all the noise." Colby says as he grabs his laptop off the counter.
Without any hesitation, Sam grabs your hand and up the stairs you go, laughing with him as you try to keep up.
You run into the room you share, falling on the bed with him on top of you, "You drive me insane, but always in the best way." His lips press to yours as his hand pulls your head close to him.
You drag his sweatshirt up his back, telling him you want it off. He leans up, slipping it off in one perfect motion and you pull him back down to kiss you.
He grinds himself against you, "I'm sorry for yelling at you." You moan slightly, shaking your head, "We weren't us." You cup his face, "This is us."
He smiles and kisses you again. You quickly grow into a heated make out, clawing the rest of each other clothes off and slipping under the blankets.
"If I ever yell at you like that again, just sacrifice me to the demons, babe." He chuckles slightly, brushing hair from your face before sliding his hand down to pull you closer.
"I'd be coming with you. We're inseparable." You nudge your nose against his and he nods, "Damn right we are."
He rolls on top of you, rubbing the head of his cock against your pussy, "You were so.." he lets out a low moan as he slips his cock into you, "..fucking hot back there.."
He pushes his hips to meet yours, "You always amaze me."
You run your hand through his hair, biting down on your lip as he starts to thrust, "Fuck.." you whimper and look up at him, "I'd do anything to protect you."
"I'd die for you." He stares at you for a few seconds, still thrusting deep and slow, "I mean that wholeheartedly. You mean the most to me and I'd do anything to keep you safe."
You smile and lay a hand on his cheek, "I love you."
He kisses your lips, whispering a low, "I love you."
He leans up a little bit, "Now roll over so I can punish you for yelling at me." He winks and gives you a cocky smirk before pulling out. You smirk as your stomach does an excited flip.
You roll over onto your stomach and Sam's body is immediately on yours, his cock back in to where it was before, "I wanted to shut you up in anyway I could."
You moan as he thrusts slow, "Why didn't you?"
"Would have had to cut a lot of the footage out." Sam says lowly in your ear, "Plus I don't really want Colby seeing how pretty you look while you're gagging on my dick."
Your eyes roll back as he pushes all the way in, "Because you my love, are fucking gorgeous."
You grip the sheets, moaning as his hand slides around to your throat, squeezing as he whispers, "Or how pretty you look while I'm in between those legs.."
"S-Sam." You squeeze his cock with your walls, "Fuck, I-I'm so close."
"Go ahead, baby." Sam groans lowly, "Fuck, I'm not going to last much longer either." He hooks his thumb over your bottom jaw and you immediately suck.
He moans lowly, pounding into you, "That's my girl."
You moan around his thumb, trying to move your hips but you can't go anywhere. Your moans are growing louder as you reach your point, squeezing him as you claw at the sheets.
"Come on, baby." He pleads, "Cum for me."
You whimper and moan his name over and over again, letting your head fall back as you cum, "Fuck fuck fuck."
Sam suddenly pulls out, his cum spilling on your back, "Fuck, babe." you let your head fall forward, resting on the bed as your breathing is heavy.
"You okay?" Sam asks getting up to get you a towel. You look back at him, "Oh yeah. I'm so much better."
He smiles and shakes his head, "You know, I wonder how much of us arguing was actually caught on camera."
"Probably all of it, Sam. And if I'm being honest, it'll probably turn me on again." You roll over once he wipes you off and smirk up at him.
"You too, huh?" He smiles as he bites his bottom lip as you nod, "Uh huh. Very much." He pulls you up so you're standing in front of him, "I really don't want to yell at you again, but if it's something that'll get you going then.." he leans in, kissing you, "then we might just have to work something out."
You suddenly hear Colby yelling, "Oh shit. No fucking way!"
You quickly throw on clothes and run down, "What? What? What!?" Sam asks going over, you hand still in his, "Bro what the fuck is that?"
"That my friend is what was controlling us tonight." Colby turns the laptop towards you and Sam and you gasp, "That's exactly what I saw."
.·:*¨ ✘ ¨*:·.
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maapllee · 2 months
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All The Stars~
BAKUGOU X SECRET ADMIRER PT.1
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A/N: This idea has marinated in my head for wayyyy too many weeks, so here you go. There will be a part 2 to this.
P.S: Not proofread. Sorry for any mistakes.
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ALL THE STARS~ PT.2 | ALL THE STARS~PT.3
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It was the second day of school after the summer break. You peeked out from behind the wall at the lockers- your crush's locker. Your stomach grumbled in pain- ah, the sacrifices you make for love. Maybe this was a stupid idea, why would Katsuki fucking Bakugou reciprocate the sickening feelings you harboured towards him? You were better off staying his secret admirer.
Bakugou was the last person you'd imagine a puppy dog romance with. He surely wasn't worth skipping lunch for. What were you thinking anyway, hoping his love for you would blossom? Well, that's all it would be. Hope. You told yourself. Not that it would matter, the gifts inside were unsigned anyway.
Sighing, you turned to walk away- maybe you could convince Lunch Rush to let you have a peck or two before class started. Walking into the hallway, you scratched the back of your head as you felt a headache come on. Looking up, you saw Bakugou, Kirishima and the others walking towards the lockers. Scrambling, you ducked behind the staircase- Holy fucking shit. This was it. They hadn't noticed you, luckily. Not yet, at least. Your knuckles were white from grabbing the wall as you stood on your tippy toes, trying to get a closer look at his expression.
That idiotic blonde was screaming at Denki for electrocuting his lemonade or whatever- at least he saw that coming; what he didn't see was the hellish amount of confetti falling onto him as he opened his locker. The rest of the Bakusquad looked with their mouth open as you cowered behind the wall, blushing. You were grateful no one had noticed you yet. "Ooh, looks like someone's got the fancies for Bakubro ;)" Kaminari said, almost emoting in surprise, along with Kiri.
"What the actual fuck is this?" Bakugou grimaced, stepping on the now confetti-covered floor. He rummaged around his locker, pushing the confetti around to uncover boxes stacked on top of each other next to his textbooks. Pretty pink boxes adorned with ribbons, must I add. A neon orange sticky note taped to the topmost box stood out in contrast with the monochrome textbooks and grey metal of the locker. Bakugou had half a mind to throw it all away or blow up the entire locker. It wasn't worth the hassle anyway.
Denki snickered, peeling off the note that read 'High protein chocolate~' "Woaahh, real thoughtful, ain't it?" Kirishima said, elbowing Bakugou in the stomach. "I wonder who it isss~~" Mina piped up, opening one of the heart-shaped boxes to reveal chocolate-covered strawberries. Popping one in her mouth, she sighed, placing a hand on her cheek while relishing the flavour. "I wonder how they got all that confetti into your locker."
You took a deep breath in, relaxing your shoulders. One step at a time- You walked towards Bakugou. "I wonder who's masochistic enough to have a crush on Bakugou, let alone express themselves, hahaa-" you laughed, interrupted by a sharp jab on your ribs. "Aahh that hurt, y'know?" You sulked, rubbing the sore spot. "What kinda coward leaves this unsigned?" Bakugou grumbled, tearing up the note and resuming rummaging through his locker for his textbooks for Present Mic's class.
Katsuki Bakugou was not a kind man. You more than most people, knew that well. But Bakugou didn't mean to push you out of the way as he made his way out the hall. He didn't mean to bruise your chest. He didn't mean to hurt you.
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every love i've ever known has been drenched in blood; teach me how to unfurl these fists, show me where to put down this knife.
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ax72 x reader: the fireman feels like something special.
(warnings: blasphemous filth, unprotected penetrative sex (m on f), hair pulling, oral sex (f on m), biting (briefly, okay?), crying, dirty talk (tasteful but serious. i'm not kidding), just all my typical stuff (and all my usual ax72 stuff - so legs and limbs and size and the like). don't read if you're not 100% sure).
(a/n: my favorites! thank you for being patient with me. for your reading pleasure, may i present to you a ax72 fic in which he is a volunteer fireman and you are plagued with fear and self-doubt! i'm joking, but not really. i couldn't not write something for him after the insane start to the season he's had - penalty minutes leader darling deserves a treat. obviously none of the details make sense, none of the dialogue is realistic, there are way too many dramatic speeches and angsty confessions, but you guys know that at this point. to anyone who may relate to what this main character is going through, please know you are not alone. it is very easy to push good things away because they scare you. but to be scared is to care about something. follow your fear, stalk it, don't let up on it until it leads you to something lovely, something real. pretty please tell me what you think. i think jh86 may be next but i'm still storyboarding. for now, i'm sending you and your snakes every single bit of courage and love i've got. go canucks. until next time).
that first night was cold like an absent mother. cruel and unforgiving, unavoidable.
the cold was weathered, however, but the hushed laughter and bickering amongst your housemates as you all exited the front door, smoke alarms blaring, loud and relentless.
"do we actually have to evacuate if we know there's not a fire?" your roommate asked, covering her ears with her hands.
another housemate sighed. "maybe we wouldn't have to if you hadn't left your curling iron on for three fucking hours."
your roommate grimaced. "my bad, guys. this one is on me."
you couldn't help a laugh as you threw an arm around her shoulders. "we know, sweetness. live and learn."
someone groaned. "it's frigid out here, jesus."
you nodded in agreement. the alarm had begun to sound at just after two in the morning, meaning everyone in the house was dressed for bed, all thin sleep shorts and fleecy sweatshirts, no where near enough to combat the brisk air, which was already starting to make your teeth chatter.
"great. here comes the government," one of your friends said, eye roll evident in her voice as the sound of the siren began to overtake the tamer sound of the smoke alarm.
you and your roommate giggled at her comment as you huddled together. as a polysci major, she had an opinion on everything, including all facets of the public sector. for example, the fire department, who pulled up to the curb at that moment in their truck.
"who's going to do the talking?" your roommate whispered to you.
"you?" you proposed, raising a brow. "it's your iron, hm?"
she groaned, but nodded. "this should be good."
three firefighters hopped down from their massive rig, looking even more menacing in their heavy fireproof gear.
"hello, officers," your roommate began, stepping forward and away from you to speak. your shoulders shook in a laugh.
"they're not officers," you whispered to her.
"hello, gentlemen," she corrected. "i speak on behalf of our entire house when i say we appreciate your punctuality."
one of your housemates hung her head in her hands. another one groaned.
"i'm gonna go out on a limb here and say there is no real danger?" one of the firemen said, his tone steady.
your polysci friend nodded. "correct, sir. your services are no longer required."
the three men now stood just in front of you, allowing you to get a true look at them.
the one who had spoken was older, probably thirty five, shorter than his coworkers but obviously the chief. he continued to speak with your roommate about the situation as the rest of you watched on.
the next in line was taller, lankier, with a goofy face and a goofier presence. he appeared unsure of his limbs, how to keep them still.
when your gaze drifted to the third, however, your breath caught, that familiar but long-forgotten whirlwind in your stomach. your eyes drank him in greedily, the way a child gulps down a soda at a friend's house. so similar, someone in your mind whispered don't tell mom.
he was the tallest of the three, and the broadest, too, his chest a wide expanse, arms and legs practically tree-like in his canvas uniform. it was his face that really had you, though. he was beautiful in a way you had never seen before, in a surreal sort of way. the kind of face that saved you in a dream, that you tried to conjure when you woke up but never could.
sharp jaw, sharper nose, the kind of cheekbones you had seen before only in a museum. full, pink, upturned lips, downwards sloping eyes that made him appear drowsy, like the personification of a midday nap. cheeks made rosy by the cold. even under his helmet you could see his thick, dark hair, so soft-looking. that was it, you thought. he just looked so soft, even though he appeared to be made of stone.
his presence made you shiver, which was only deepened when you met his eyes, dark and clear, found them already looking at you.
something in your gaze made him smirk, made your stomach drop. you crossed your arms closer around yourself, suddenly insecure under his scrutiny.
you hated the not-knowing, wished you could see yourself from his eyes, from the outside, so that you may correct yourself, angle and present yourself in some better way.
but his eyes only sparked with danger, not disappointment. cold? he mouthed to you, so as not to interrupt the conversation. his mouth formed the words slowly, deliberately, deliciously.
yes, you thought, half stunned he was communicating with you, the cold is why i'm shivering. definitely not you. definitely not your eyes.
so you only nodded slowly, felt your eyes widen as he walked towards you, shrugging off his jacket.
you stood, frozen in place, as he held it out to you in one huge hand. he offered it to you, someone he didn't know, someone who he owed nothing to, someone from whom he knew he could possibly receive nothing in return. and yet he offered it to you, regardless.
he was so close to you, now, just a step away. you tilted your head up to look at him. "don't you need it?" you asked, willing any squeak out of your voice. surely he would realize his mistake soon, realize you weren't worth it.
his chest shook in a low laugh. "what i need is for you to not freeze," he said, his voice much deeper, rougher, than you could have imagined. "just take it, darling, yeah?"
something in your mind screamed what do you want? at him in a voice dreary with fear, raspy with experience and expectation. what's the catch?
had you met him before? surely he couldn't be this sweet to you upon just seeing you, upon not even knowing your name. had you lent him notes in one of your classes, maybe spotted him a drink at a bar? you searched for an explanation that never came.
but at that point you probably would have done anything he asked, which you knew was not good. which you knew was very, very dangerous.
which was bad, but true, so you shouldered his jacket on, found it almost oppressive in warmth. "thank you," you told him, little more then a whisper, letting your voice trail off like a question.
"arber," he finished for you.
"arber," you repeated, knowing as soon as the name died on your tongue your mouth would feel empty, would long to form the word again.
he didn't walk back to his former place, either, instead electing to stay just next to you. just close enough to make you feel almost faint. one of your housemates wolf-whistled. you imagined the image looked fairly comical, a massive oak tree of a fireman with an 80's mullet and mustache combo next to a university pre-dentistry junior in pajamas, swimming in his coat.
but you couldn't think too much about that as you gave him your name, tried to keep your eyes trained on his face. a tough task, considering the way his arms looked unobstructed by his jacket.
everything about him was distracting. your heart was racing. how were you going to be able to get back to sleep after this?
"well, ladies, i hope you've learned your lesson," the chief said, appearing to finish a speech you had missed entirely.
"sure have, officer," your roommate said stoically.
"not an officer, miss," he corrected. the shake in his head was telling, made your housemates snicker.
"apologies, sir," she finished, giving him a salute.
"sorry you guys had to come all the way out here," one of your other housemates said.
"no trouble at all," arber said, his first time speaking to everyone. he was looking only at you. melting you like snow in the morning.
"until next time," your roommate said with a little bow, turning to go back into the house, now silent.
"there won't be a next time, sweetness," you amended, forcing your gaze away from arber. she waved you off.
reluctantly, you made to shrug off arber's jacket, hand it back to him as the other two firemen got back into their truck, your housemates walking back inside, leaving just the two of you.
"sure you don't need it?" he asked, the roughness in his voice somehow gentle. his words coming out in exactly the shape of the hole in your chest.
you gave a light laugh. "think i'll survive the trek back," you said, referring to the several steps between you and the front door. "thanks again, arber."
"my pleasure, darling," he said, and your cheeks flushed at the term. this brutal cold, you thought, making my face pink.
his lips quirked in a way that made your stomach flip. a way that made you so suddenly sure he knew exactly what effect he had on you. exactly how little the cold had to do with it.
"well," you said, your hands laced behind you, your voice taking on a melodic sort of cadence. "i guess i'll see you around, hm?"
"hope so," he hummed, something amusing in his tone. something careful. "sweet dreams, darling."
"good night, arber," you answered, dazed and blushy. like saying goodnight to an old friend, to a middle school boyfriend, to someone who knew you too personally to be real.
but somehow, it was saying goodbye to someone whom you had known for only moments.
the truck pulled away, you shut the front door behind you.
"should i just leave my iron on 24/7?" your roommate asked immediately, not giving you a moment to catch your breath. "maybe throw some rocks in the microwave?"
you rolled your eyes at her. "oh, please," you said.
"don't worry," she finished, an impish smile on her pretty, round face. "i'll wait until you're in the shower, next time."
you playfully slapped her arm as you made your way back into your room, not bothering to stifle both of your giggles.
you went to sleep that night with mirages of dark brown eyes and corded shoulders in your head. you swore you could smell smoke, could feel flame, could sense danger.
the feeling stayed with you, settled like ash in your bones. a heat, a skepticism, a want, a worry. you halfway hoped you would never see him again, because when had one person ever had such an effect on you? when had you let them?
you halfway hoped you would never see him again, but as soon as you did see him again, you knew that hope had been a complete and utter lie.
it was only a few days later, in the middle of your serving shift at the pub close to campus. only a wednesday, so nothing too busy, just a regular shift. your regular black uniform, long braid down your back with black ribbon, everything the same as always.
and then he was in a booth, practically taking up the whole bench, his deep laugh at something one of his friends had said making you dizzy.
surely it's not him, you thought as you took out your guest check pad, it couldn't be him. how could you have gone twenty one years without seeing him once, then see him twice in a week?
what trickster god was toying with you, now?
and then you were standing in front of his table, and it couldn't be him, but it was. of course it was.
but you didn't know if he would recognize you without your pajamas on, couldn't fathom that he could have dreamed of you with the vigor you had him, so you went on, business as usual.
"hi, guys," you said, your customer service voice ringing through the air like a bell. muscle memory had you placing napkin coasters down in front of each person. "can i get some drinks started for you?"
you took the orders of the others before finally locking eyes with arber. it wasn't any easier than you remembered. it wasn't any cooler, didn't feel any less like being engulfed in flame. "and for you?" you asked, hating how you couldn't just admit to recognizing him. hating how your mind preferred crafting protective plans to just being honest.
but he upended you, as you should have perhaps expected. his smirk was subtle. "am i that forgettable, darling?" he asked, like it was just the two of you.
the answer was so obvious you could have rolled your eyes, but you just cleared your throat and choked on a laugh, happy to have an excuse to show your delight. the insecurity in your head sighed in relief.
"arber!" you exclaimed, clicking your pen nervously, "thought that was you."
he nodded towards your general figure. "good to see you warm," he said with that rough voice you could feel in your chest like a bullet.
you hummed. "good to see you," you said, not bothering to add a condition.
something he noticed, something that made him smile, therefore something so, so worth the risk. your grin overtook your face all at once, toothy and real.
it appeared to shock him as much as you, his expression suddenly one of wonder, of awe.
you cleared your throat again, rediscovered the other people at the table, went to get everyone's drinks and then ran their food orders to the kitchen.
and you tried not to dwell on the way his hand looked around a glass, like it was kid's toy in a play kitchen, tried not to zone out on his lips as they formed words, not to blush whenever he looked at you.
you only laughed, mumbled a thank you when he joking said this was the best service he had ever had.
when he asked how you day had been, you had just blushed, muttered something affirmative, tried not to drop the glass you were holding, hated how anyone's attention, never mind a man's, could render you so helpless.
it was a whole lot of trying, a whole lot of awareness and controlling your own limbs, your own reactions like a marionette puppet. this way, you guided your arms, lined with plates of food. that way, you led your legs. these words, no, not those ones. no, no blushing, no not like that.
your marionette puppet appeared defective in many ways, many frustrating ways.
it was the slowest shift of your life. you felt oh so tired by the time arber's table asked for the check, felt oh so embarrassed by how hard you had been trying all night, hated how it was impossible for you to hide your effort.
it was all over you. it was in the slight sheen of sweat on your upper lip, in the strands of hair that had come free from your braid, in the way your voice shook when he spoke to you, the wobble in your knees when your eyes met.
you were trying so devastatingly hard, and you knew he could see, that everyone could see. was it terrible, was it so naive of you to hope maybe he wouldn't mind? that maybe the effort would flatter him instead of scare him away?
when you came to give back the card and receipt, his friends had gone. it was only him, taking up all that space in the booth.
he smiled when he saw you. it was soft. he was soft, this marble man.
you placed the check on the table. "there you are," you said, threading your empty hands together behind your back, part of you scared their idleness would lead to reaching for him. "thanks for coming," you added, then physically cringed.
thanks for coming? what, like this was some party you'd thrown?
he laughed, low and gentle, at your expression. of course, he was laughing at you. how could he not, with how you were acting? your head dropped like it was full of bricks as you flushed, as hot shame began to pull at the edges of your face.
but then you felt him take your chin in one of his large, rough hands, tilt your head back up high to meet his gaze. there was nothing but softness in his hands, in his eyes. no judgement, nothing of the sort.
his touch felt like drowning in flame, even in this small dosage, and you knew immediately it was too dangerously good. you swallowed.
when was the last time someone had touched you like this and you hadn't secretly wished they would only just leave you alone?
"thanks for inviting me," he said, playing along with your words so mercifully. "think maybe you'll have me again?"
you nodded, couldn't stop your shy smile. "maybe," you said, your voice a breath.
too soon, his hand was gone, leaving your face cold, lacking.
"can i tell you something?" you asked, quiet and hopeful.
"'course," he said, like he would never deny you such a request.
"i sort of feel like i've met you before," you said.
"i don't know," arber said thoughtfully, "think i'd remember someone like you."
your mouth ticked. "someone like me?"
he tilted his head, just looked at you for a moment, his gaze comfortable in its greed, its genuine appreciation. "why do you think we've met?"
you shook your head. "something about you," you said, trying to figure it out yourself. like i dreamed you up, you thought, are you real? are you sure?
his smile was subtle. "hope it's something good, eh? something like you?" too soon, he was signing his receipt, and then he was up, walking towards the door, to his waiting friends. "sweet dreams, darling," he said, like there was no one else in the pub, in this universe.
if he had told you as much, you would have believed him.
after a moment to catch your breath, you took the receipt from the table, found not only a generous tip but a phone number and a child-like scrawl that read coffee?
your head bowed in delight. when was the last time someone had asked you out? had not texted you deep into the night, at the time when the parties were ending and something much more terrifying was just beginning?
when was the last time you were nervous for a date, but the innocent kind of nervous?
you were that innocent kind of nervous when you approached the agreed-upon coffee shop several days later, at the middle of the day, between your classes.
there he was, standing in front of the cafe, hard to miss in stature and presence.
you had spent a scary amount of time deciding what to wear, eventually landing on what you wore everyday. you gave him a timid wave, were met with a confident wave back.
do i shake his hand? you thought. no, i've worn his jacket. maybe a high five?
your overthinking was quickly overwhelmed by the realization that he was pulling you in close for a hug.
you froze for a moment, your mind short-circuiting, your body uneasy, unused to such casual gentleness, ease.
your head against his chest, his arms all the way around you, you probably could have passed out. your mind mumbled something about cardiac arrest as you slowly hugged him back.
he smelled like the forest, like dull smoke and wooden fog.
"swear you get prettier every time i see you, darling," he said as you both pulled away, his eyes full of sweetness.
you had to close your eyes as you breathed out a laugh, already turning pink. "you sure know how to embarrass me," you said, teasing, trying to recover.
he held the door open for you as you both entered the cafe. "it's too tempting," he argued, smiling. "that blush you get..." he trailed off as if lost in his mind. sparks, smoke, flame, ash.
you knew the feeling.
he ordered some kind of sugar-bomb, practically a coffee milkshake, you ordered your usual flat white with soy milk.
and you were out of practice when it came to first dates, but it didn't seem to matter. he didn't seem to notice the pauses you took to think about your words, or if he did, he didn't say anything.
you learned that he was on the hockey team, that he was a volunteer fire-fighter for the school, about where he was from and his family.
he asked about your family, about your studies, about your job, what you did for fun.
and when you told him how much you loved your pre-dentistry classes, he made a joke and popped his fake tooth in and out, which made your laugh come so easy.
you told him how much you looked forward to seeing your sister, how funny your shift the day before had been, how much you loved your house's movie nights.
he asked about you, and it dawned on you that your last boyfriend had never truly asked you simple questions like that, and he certainly had never cared about the answers.
you had sudden flashbacks, you and your ex in bed, you asking him about his week, him giving you some dismissive response as if you had asked him if you could take out some of his teeth sans anesthesia.
how, towards the end, it had felt as if you were engaged in some kind of corrupt exchange, sex for tolerance of your curiosity, sex for tolerance of you.
the memory sent a shiver down your spine, a wave of shame. you could not go through that again. you refused to put yourself through that again.
through the relentless begging for something, for attention? no, begging to be treated like a person? like a girlfriend? begging for him to just be a little more gentle. yes, that's it. you had gone months feeling like nothing but a burdensome bag of stones he had reluctantly agreed to carry around, and you refused to feel that way again.
you just wanted gentle. you just wanted soft, and when arber waved a hand in front of your face to break you from your trance, you realized it might not be crazy to think you were close.
"you okay, darling?" he asked, concern lacing his expression. "lost you, hm?"
"'m okay," you said, shaking your head. "sorry, just thinking."
"'bout what?" he asked.
your heart jumped at the intimacy of being asked such. of someone wanting to know what was going on in your head.
so, you decided to be honest, to an extent. "'bout how 'm very happy to be here, with you," you said, looking him in the eye. feeling no desire to look away.
his face was so utterly pleased. he looked so beautiful then, the sun drenching the side of his face, lighting him up. "makin' me blush, now, darling," he said, and his tone made you swoon.
"sorry," you said, an instinct that made you want to smack yourself.
"don't apologize," he said immediately, "i know i'll get you back."
talking with him felt just so easy that you were again struck with a disbelief that you had only known him for a few days, had only spoken with him a couple of times. you felt like he was inside of your head, like he always had been. something you had never felt before, something that had you saying yes much too quickly when he asked if you wanted to come skating with him that weekend.
you had never skated before, but you were sure if he had asked you to watch paint dry, you would have said yes, because it would have been with him.
but the rational part of your brain was currently overwhelmed by fear, by insecurity, by the terror that you would lose this great thing before you had ever really had it.
"what was i thinking?" you said to your roommate as you struggled to find something to wear. "i have no idea how to skate! i'm going to look like an idiot!"
she waved you off. "you won't, you know you won't. deep breath."
you both took a breath together, tried to exhale some of your nerves.
the quiet that followed felt like another friend. you sighed, sat down on the edge of your bed, held your head in your hands.
"i can't keep thinking like this," you said to her and yourself. "i can't be so fucking scared all the time."
"c'mon, love," she said, sitting next to you and holding you tight. "what will feel better, do you think? coming home after avoiding rejection, walls intact?" she squeezed you. "or maybe coming home with another person to lean on?"
you both knew the answer. you wanted so badly to act accordingly, hoped your overactive mind would let you.
so, when you showed up at the rink, you made the ittiest-bittiest promise to yourself that you wouldn't let your fear get in the way.
if only you knew he would never have let you. that he could never be so easily scared.
he greeted you with a hug once again, and you held him tighter than you had the first time. "thanks for coming," he said, a spark of a shared inside joke in his eye.
"thanks for having me," you replied immediately, a mirroring smile on your face. "'m gonna be honest with you-"
"please do," he said immediately, and you could have melted.
"i have no idea how to skate," you rushed, "so i'm going to be very slow and probably fall and it's probably gonna get ugly."
he let you finish, an amused sort of smirk overtaking his mouth.
"what's so funny?" you asked, furrowing your brow.
"i think you're funny," he said, simply.
you scrunched up your face. "you makin' fun of me, arber?"
he laughed, then, low and rough and grumbly as he reached his hands around you and settled them on the small of your back. "oh, pretty baby, promise 'm not, yeah?"
you pouted, but rested your palms on his chest nonetheless.
his gaze cut through you. "don't expect you to be good at everything, okay? i'll help you," he explained. "just think it's funny you think anything you do could be ugly. imperfect isn't ugly."
"i'll prove you wrong," you said immediately, although you were flushed already, could feel yourself soften, your walls crumble just a bit.
his shoulders shook again. "promise you'll stick around long enough to?"
you had nothing to say to that. what could you ever say?
and then you were out on the ice, more off-balance than you had ever been, and not just because of the skates.
he held your gloved hands in his, tight but not restrictive, keeping his eyes on yours. you willed some of the steadiness in his gaze into your body, found stability in him and let it flow into you like water. he was basically pulling you, but you were moving, and you weren't falling, so you took it as a win.
"'atta girl," he said when you made a turn, soft, proud, and you could have laughed. surely he knew what he was doing, no?
your eyes darted up to his, found a lazy smirk, found your answer.
you shook your head, continued to push with your legs, gaining confidence, gaining balance. "turn off the dream boy for a second, would you?" his smirk deepened. "'m tryna focus, here."
"my fault, darling," he said, false apology saturating his voice as he suddenly dropped your hands. "by all means."
you stumbled forward into him immediately, your body unused to the ice without him to ground you.
you narrowed your eyes at him, looking up at his face, your palms against his chest, his arms around your waist. "not funny," you said, giving him a playful slap. "i could have broken something."
he shot you a look. "you honestly think i'd let that happen?"
your gaze dropped for a second. "no," you sighed. "no, i don't." a revelation in itself.
he pulled you closer, pressed his lips to your hair in a kiss that singed. so quick, you could have missed it. maybe you would have, if you hadn't been so unconditionally in tune to him, to everything he did, to every breath that shook his chest, to every quirk of his mouth and glint of his eye.
your heart sang at the affection you had been so lacking, had somehow missed even though you had never really had it.
so, of course it was a no-brainer when he asked you to come to his next home game.
"i'd really like if you were there," he said as he untied your skates for you, bent on one knee in front of you.
"then i'll be there," you said, flushed, because it was the easiest answer you had ever given. when he gave you that big smile in return, so genuine and goofy, you knew you would have a hard time saying no to anything he asked. just keep smiling at me, your mind begged him. that's all i ask.
the game came quickly, suddenly, after a busy week of shifts and school and everyday things. before you knew it, the day was here, and then you were in the stands, watching him skate like it was second nature, like it came easier than walking.
you had been able to tell at your rink date that he was steady on his feet, but this was different entirely. this was like seeing him at home, like watching him fall asleep.
and it beautiful, it was lovely, it was so intimate until two players started to fight and you realized one of them was him.
one of the people throwing punches that looked lethal, taking fists to the ribs, to the jaw, one of the people with a bleeding nose, a gashed lip, one of the people with blood running down his knuckles - that was your arber. your dream boy.
it wasn't, but it was you - you were the one throwing the right hook, you were the one doubled over, you were the one spitting out blood. you were equally the one punching and being punched. you had set the flame, you were burning.
was it terrible that you felt a little sick to your stomach? you clutched at the edge of your seat, exhaled a short breath, immediately decided you would rather leave than watch blood run down his face on the jumbotron.
as you left the arena, got into your car, drove back to your house, someone in your head was screaming at you, someone with a shrill, panicked voice was screamed scared, scared, scared, scared, scared and you didn't know how to get them to stop.
why are we running? you asked the voice in your head, what are we so afraid of?
what are you so afraid of?
because it wasn't him, you explained to your roommate at some later time, maybe the next day, after the desire to bathe in silence had been overcome by the desire to tell just about anyone.
you were not afraid of arber, knew there had never been anyone in the world more gentle with you. no, there had never been someone who had treasured your heart so truly, who had wanted to understand you to an almost scientific extent, who had dropped into your life like an asteroid and blown it apart just as similarly.
if not him, then what is there to fear?
what is there to fear, if not placing your beat-up heart in his bloodied hands? what is there to fear, if not the desire to press your lips to each of his cracked knuckles, the urge to know him to the point of no return, the want to feel his teeth on your neck, his fingers in your mouth?
sirens went off in your mind. scared, scared, scared.
scared of you, yourself, of offering yourself up to him, to being devastated by him. scared of being so completely vulnerable, of taking all your armor off, finally.
in the end, you were terrified of how scared seeing him hurt made you, because that meant you cared much more than you thought, perhaps much more than you had ever before.
how come no one told you that as much as being scared for yourself hurt, being scared for someone else, that was real fear, pure and undiluted.
a fear captivating enough that you decided to just not deal with it for days, to ignore his texts even though it hurt like a dagger to the chest.
he'll lose interest eventually, you thought, he'll leave me alone eventually. then, finally, i won't have to be scared.
so why did that admission feel like being burned at the stake? why was some small part of you screaming at you to stop?
regardless, you held fast for three days.
and then your roommate put rocks in the microwave.
so you and your housemates stood in the front yard, the air deja-vu-inspiringly cold, the situation almost exactly the same as that first night.
"what's wrong with you?" you whispered-yelled at her. "how do you accidentally almost blow up our house?"
she waved you off, pouted for a moment. "you know how forgetful i get."
"yeah, i don't know if forgetful is the adequate descriptor here," one of the other girls said. "i have a few more specific words in mind."
"oh, come on," you roommate said to the group as the fire truck siren began to yet again overwhelm the smoke alarm. "god forbid a girl make a mistake around here."
you didn't hear the rest of the bickering, too busy sending up a silent prayer, begging some god, any god to listen. please, don't be him. please, if there is anything good in this world, it won't be him.
but, of course, as soon as you saw the massive figure climb down from the truck, you paled.
there might not be anything good, some voice told you then, but perhaps there is something right.
"long time no see, ladies," the same older fireman said, and that was the last thing you heard. the last thing that any of your senses consumed before all of them were so brutally and totally overwhelmed by arber.
because what was he, if not overwhelming? especially now, after having deprived yourself of him for days? how had you managed that?
seeing him here, in front of you, you had no idea.
because he was here, in front of you, this beautiful oaken man, and his hair was messy under his helmet, and his face was flushed from the cold, and his five-o'clock shadow made his jaw sharper, and you could feel his warmth from here.
because he was here, walking to you, right in front of you, dropping his giant jacket onto your shoulders silently, somehow, somehow he was still that kind, and then he was whispering to you.
"alive, are you?" he murmured, as if he almost couldn't believe it.
and you felt so selfish then, the guilt growing like poison ivy in your veins, up your throat, until you couldn't open your mouth for fear that only three-pronged leaves would come out.
you looked up at him, met his eyes, found them burning but unreadable.
a pause that felt infinite deflated as you struggled for words. "listen, arber-"
but he shook his head, almost looked sorry. "don't think i will, darling," he whispered, the name making your stomach sink. someone screamed in your head. "don't care much for hearing why 'm not worth a phone call."
you were shaking your head before he even finished. "no, no, arber, please, that's not it-" your voice was so close to cracking, splitting apart like brittle wood.
"what is it, then?" he said, and you noticed a quiver in his voice too, a warning, "because i've been trying to come up with something for days, and every option i've got hurts."
oh, good god, you had made him hurt? that alone was dizzying.
dizzying and so, so sobering, enough for you to mutter something aloud about arber helping you turn the smoke alarms off, pull him into your house, up into your room.
you barely noticed the alarms subsiding, him hitting all of the necessary buttons wordlessly on his way up the stairs.
and then he was in your room, and you two were alone, and he was sitting on the edge of your bed, taking his helmet and boots off, crossing his arms across his chest.
"by all means," he prompted. "tell me i'm crazy, darling, please, please tell me i've got something wrong."
you took a breath, set the marionette puppets strings down, finally. there was no leading your limbs anywhere, no running words over one million time in your head until you had the right ones.
it was finally time to set aside the fear, to unfurl your forever clenched fists.
your exhale was liberating as you approached him, not touching him, not yet, but close enough so that you could see his eyes, so that he could see the revelation in yours.
"you're not crazy," you said, the softness in your voice surprising you. "i've been trying so, so hard to make you think i don't care."
he scoffed, ran a hand through his messy hair, mercifully waited for you to finish.
"and i'm so, so sorry that i didn't call, and that i left during your game, and that i treated you like you were anything but special, arber."
he looked up at you then, and you saw a soft spark of hope in his eyes that spurred you on.
it was silent for a beat, and then he reached for your hand, held it in his grip, warm and consuming.
"i thought i scared you away," he said, vulnerable, completely honest.
you squeezed his hand, stepped closer, cupped his jaw in your other palm. "i was afraid," you admitted, and that alone felt like salvation. "but not of you." you swiped at his cheekbone with your thumb. "never of you."
with a single swift motion he tugged you onto his lap, both of his hand on your hips. there might not be anything good, that voice whispered like a gossipy teen, but perhaps there is something right. perhaps this is it.
"tell me," he said, not an order but a request.
you would have told him anything, then, as you reached up to loop one arm around his neck, use the other hand to twist one of his curls around your finger. "i hated seeing you hurt," you confessed, moving your fingers down to trace lightly over the greenish bruise next to his eye, the healing gash on his lip. "you give me so much more to lose, baby."
he was silent, still, so close you could feel his shaky exhales on your hand. you willed yourself to finish your thoughts, refused to leave him anything but completely certain, even if it was hard to focus with him under you, against you, all around you. even under the exceptional spotlight of his undivided attention.
"i was lying when i acted like i didn't want you," you said, your tone every bit as ultimate as you felt. "and i understand if you don't forgive me, and i won't hold it against you, but i promise i won't lie to you again, okay?"
you held his face like it was made of glass. his grip on your hips tightened, eyes bursting further into flame.
"let me convince you," you pleaded, willing every genuine thing from your bones into your words. "you have to believe me, baby, i care so, so much. a scary amount."
and something in you sighed, swooned, when you saw that amusement you had missed creep back into his gaze like a fog on the ocean.
his thumbs rubbed circles into the flesh of your hips as you relaxed further into him. "scary, hm?"
you nodded, peered up at him through your lashes.
"how about this, darling?" he offered, voice a tired rasp. "i'll believe you if you do one thing for me, yeah?"
"anything," you said, meaning it more completely than anything before.
the glint in his eye was dangerous as his grip turned firmer. he gave a hum of approval. "tell me something true."
after trying just so deliriously, terrifyingly hard for so long, nothing had ever come easier. with him, now, the truth was easy as breathing. "i want you," you breathed, running your nails lightly down his neck, relishing in his stifled groan. "so, so bad, arber. need you, please." your chest rose and fell in a hurried breath. had you ever been so free of fear? so buoyant with hope, with courage?
he hoisted you up on his lap, pulled you against his chest until it felt as if there was barely enough air to share between the two of you. "good girl," he said, a rough, low, rasp, and he caught your whimper in his teeth as your lips met his.
his kiss felt like molten iron, like forest fire smoke, like initials carved into a heart on an ancient oak tree. he felt like sun on your face and like drowning, drowning, drowning, this kind of torture one you would happily submit to over and over again.
you tangled your hands in his hair as he groaned into your mouth, pulling you up on his lap until you could feel him, so big and hard under you that you let out a gasp.
he smiled against your lips at your reaction, and you knew there would never be anything so glutted with bliss.
you kissed him harder, with the urgency of a thousand missed chances as he rocked you back and forth across his lap, slipping his hands under the waistband of your sleep shorts, his hands now scorching your bare skin.
"look so good in my jacket, darling," he rasped, "let me take it off, hm? want to see you."
you shrugged it off in obedience, placed both your hands on his chest and looked him in the eye, pleading.
one of his hands brushed your hair away from your face, gentle, soft, as you had always known him to be. he dragged his thumb down to your swollen lip, let it rest there for a moment.
"'f you want something, just ask," he grumbled, transfixed by your mouth. "know i'll give you anything you want 'f you ask for it, darling."
you pulled at his shirt, willed any oncoming flush or fear away. "please can i suck you off, arber?"
his smirk was devastating, delicious. "pretty baby wants me in her mouth?"
you nodded, a shy smile gracing your lips.
"course you can, darling, askin' so pretty for me, too."
you glowed at his praise, sunk down to your knees, admired him as he pulled away at his layers of clothes until finally you could reach for him, hold him in your hand, hot and heavy and just so big, so much so that you couldn't help your eyes widening, your mouth watering.
he groaned at your touch, tilted his head back and scrunched his eyes shut at the sensation of your soft palms on his cock.
you hid your grin, spit into your hands and pumped him up and down a few times before taking him in your mouth, making him moan, almost growl as he gathered all of your hair, wrapped it around his fist, the other hand bracing him against your bed.
"fuck, darling," he rasped, watching you bob your head up and down, "feels so good, so good for me, hm?"
you would have nodded, but instead you were overcome with a desire to take more of him, as much as you could. so you sunk your head down further, until your eyes watered, until air came in short spurts, until you gagged, felt him grow impossibly harder in your mouth.
he gripped your hair tighter, making you moan on his cock. "oh, darling, you want more, hm?"
you hummed, looked up at him through watery lashes, reddening eyes.
"want to take it all, do you?" he asked, "just want me to feel good, is that it?"
you moaned in affirmation, sunk your head down on him again, as far as you could go, relished in his groan, the way his thighs tensed, the way his forearms flexed.
already, your jaw was growing stiff, your shoulders strained, your knees warm from the carpet. too soon, though, he was pulling you up off of him, up from your knees back on top of him, wiping the spit from the sides of your mouth with his thumb, pressing a gentle kiss to your tired lips.
you pouted, wanting more still, and his shoulders shook in a low laugh. "not done, darling?"
you shook your head, ran your nails across his shoulders, down to his biceps, loved the way you could feel shivers erupt under your fingertips.
"i'll give it to you if you ask," he reminded you, simply, because of course it was that simple, that gentle.
you pressed your lips to his chest, his neck, his jaw, bit down softly on his collarbone. "please fuck me," you begged against his skin, "been wanting it forever, arber, need you to fuck me, need you to stretch me out."
in a moment he flipped you so that your hips were angled up to him, your chest against your bed, your cheek to your sheets.
"been waiting, have you, darling?"
you whined, nodded.
"no more waiting," he said, running his fingers through your folds, already so wet, "promise, no more waiting, pretty baby, okay?"
"please," you mustered, the end of the word becoming strangled as he began to push into you. it was altogether too much - every possible voice inside of you screaming too much and not enough in some cacophonous harmony.
his groan was raw, full of relief, release, confirmation. he held onto your hip tightly with one hand, the other wrapping around your stomach to keep you grounded, keep you here as you felt like you were floating away.
the pressure was dizzying, staggering, enough that your breathing was choked, your mind completely clouded, your already watery eyes just barely holding back tears.
you reached a hand back to grasp at his forearm as he pushed further, almost all the way inside of you. you whimpered as the stretch reached a peak, as he stilled, making the stray, warm tears finally fall down your cheeks, hang on your jaw before collecting on the sheets under you.
"so pretty when you cry, darling," he breathed, tight and short as you adjusted to him, and he to you.
"please, arber, just move, hm?" you pleaded. "need it, please."
his embrace around your middle tightened as he began to move in and out of you at an agonizingly slow pace, almost undetectable.
"so whiny, hm?" he bit out. "pretty baby knows what she wants?"
you nodded feverishly. "just give it to me, baby, please, just let me take it."
"don't know if you can," he said, and you pouted. "don't want to hurt you, hm?"
you clutched at his forearm, began to fuck back onto him, determined to get the motion and pace you needed so desperately.
"want it to hurt, arber, please, please give me all of it," you spoke with all of the greed of a sinner seeking salvation. "need all of it."
he abandoned any qualms about hurting you, immediately adopting a brutal pace, so hard and deep you swore your teeth began to chatter. you bit out a choked moan, grabbed at your sheets with your fist, scrunched your eyes shut at the pressure building inside of you.
his grunts grew rhythmic in time with his thrusts. "feel so good, know that, darling?" he rasped. "being so fuckin' perfect for me."
you hummed in response, gasped when he ran a hand across your clit, making you clench tighter around him.
he cursed at the sensation, continued to tease you as he thrusted deeper.
"like that," you breathed, growing dangerously close, "fuck, just like that baby, right there."
"gonna make me cum, darling," he warned, pressing his palm flat against your clit, the friction maddening. "feel too good."
"please cum for me, baby," you begged, your voice raw, "need it so bad, arber, need all of you." you moaned. "fuck, give me all of it."
he groaned as he came, triggering your own orgasm, an overwhelming wave of pleasure that consumed you utterly and entirely. you felt him collapse on top of you, barely registered him pulling you into his side as you both caught your breath in comfortable silence.
moments passed slowly, thick like aged honey, fragrant, sweet.
he lazily traced his thumb across your cheekbone, down your jaw, your collarbone. eventually, you looked up at him, found his eyes full of something homely.
you thought briefly about how you looked in that moment, what he was seeing - spit on your face, skin probably splotchy and red in places from wear, hair fussed and skin sparkling with sweat.
notably, though, the thought evoked no fear, not even for a moment. because you were beautiful like this, like always.
you exhaled a breath, soft, gentle, and buried some ancient curse with it.
the silence was blissful. eventually you heard loud footsteps on the wooden hallway steps, eye widening as you realized there were other people that lived in this house, in this room.
you pressed a hand to his chest to prepare him. "sweetness!" you called out. "do not come in here!"
"why?" came your roommate's voice through the door. "is there a fire?"
you exchanged a look with arber.
"kidding!" she added, her voice growing more distant. "i'll be in the kitchen. big guy, chief left without you!"
your shoulders shook in a pleased, peaceful laugh. he smiled at you, then, a warm, soft smile with teeth, and what was there left to do but smile right back? "what'm i supposed to do, darling?" he asked.
you got up, slowly, reluctantly, tied your robe from the bathroom around yourself, handed him his clothes. "c'mon," you said, "i'll show you the kitchen."
he leaned forward, pressed a soft kiss to your lips before tugging on his clothes, grabbing his helmet.
i'll show you everything went unsaid by you, but not misunderstood by him.
he held your bedroom door open, holding your gaze with a goofy grin. "after you," he rasped.
you bowed past him and wordlessly told the picture frames in the hallway to behave, we have guests.
fin.
524 notes · View notes
sparkle-fiend · 1 year
Text
Steve loves Valentine’s Day.
It’s a holiday celebrating love and romance; the whole point is to shower someone with affection (and hopefully get laid at the end of the night). What’s not to like about that?
With girls, Valentine’s was easy. Big box of chocolates, a dozen red roses, dinner at a fancy restaurant (and maybe a little jewelry or something - depending on how much he likes her). A sweet card, for sure.
Now that he’s dating Eddie, Valentine’s Day presents more of a… challenge. 
“Ugh, what am I gonna do Rob? We walked through the greeting card aisle at Melvald’s and he pretended to puke. He doesn’t want flowers or chocolate or anything.”
He knows he’s whining. He’s slumped dramatically in the single office chair in the Family Video breakroom, spinning slowly (like a pathetic little rotisserie chicken, according to Robin). He’s probably got about five more minutes before Robin snaps.
“Why do you have to do anything? You know Valentine’s Day isn’t even a real holiday – it’s just an excuse to get people to spend money on crap they don’t need…”
“Oh my god, stop! You sound just like Eddie. Valentine's isn't about spending money, it's about... showing people that you love them. Making them feel happy and appreciated and special. It’s about celebrating love.”
Robin tilts her head and her face goes a little soft, the way it does when he says something she wasn't expecting (but in a good way, not like when he says something so dumb that her body collapses and she says he's obliterated her will to live). 
"That’s actually surprisingly sweet Steve. Okay….” she sighs and looks up at the ceiling as she thinks. “Maybe... you could try making something? He liked those cookies you baked for movie night." 
“Those cookies were terrible.” Practically inedible. Eddie was the only person that ate more than one. (Which was either a true declaration of love in and of itself, or proof that Eddie will eat literally anything when he's stoned.) 
"I don't know, Eddie is pretty easy to please. You could give him like... a cool rock, and he would probably love it." 
Steve sits upright so fast he nearly overturns the chair. "Robin, you're a genius!!" 
She blinks at him. "Clearly. But also, why exactly?" 
Eddie is like a crow. He's forever picking up little odds and ends - cool rocks, stickers, shiny bits of paper. At Christmas, he collected the bows off of everyone's presents. Sometimes, he incorporates the stuff he finds into little props and models for his D&D games, but other times he just keeps it. He's got a whole drawer devoted to his little 'hoard', as he calls it. 
Steve explains all this to Robin, who just shakes her head in bemusement. "He is so weird," she says fondly. 
"Yeah," Steve agrees. He would have recoiled from that oddity in high school - would have been worried what other people would think. Scared they would judge him for associating with someone like that. 
He doesn’t give a shit, these days. He sees the way Eddie lights up with happiness at the smallest things, so full of excitement and passion, and it just makes him smile. He feels grateful that he gets to bask in that reflected joy, like a flower soaking up the sun.
Valentines is two weeks away, which gives Steve plenty of time to collect a bounty of little treasures. He hits the pawn shop, the thrift store - he even drives out to the weird antique shop about an hour out of town, which looks like a normal house on the outside and is crammed to the rafters with knick-knacks and bric-a-brac when you walk inside. 
He also trawls the quarry, the lake, and the woods behind his house. It's tough, because usually Eddie's little treasures just look like trash to Steve. He's not a very creative person himself, but he tries hard to see the world the way his boyfriend would. 
If that means Steve finds himself debating for over half an hour on which rock is more appealing, well – it will all be worth it in the end.
———
Steve stays over at Eddie's, the night before Valentines. (At this point, he spends more time at the Munson's house than he does at his own.) 
He wakes up early, slipping out of bed with slow, careful movements. As usual, Eddie rolls over with a faint grumble, bundling himself into a burrito of blankets to compensate for the void of warmth left by Steve's absence. 
He moves down the hall, avoiding each creaky board like it's a booby trap in the Temple of Doom, until he reaches the kitchen - which is where Steve breaks routine. He sneaks out the back door and races across the driveway in his boxers, hopping and cursing as the frigid gravel stings his bare feet. 
His carefully cultivated stash of gifts is in the glove compartment of the BMW. He already has a plan for which one will be first, so he grabs it and closes the door (slowly, slowly - the sound of Steve moving around the house is familiar, but a car door slamming in the driveway at this time of morning would wake Eddie for sure). 
The first gift is a blue jay feather he found in the woods, perfect and clean with vivid blue and black stripes. He tucks it carefully under the edge of the ash tray that sits on the porch railing, before slipping back inside to start breakfast.
Thirty minutes later Eddie appears, drawn by the warm smell of coffee and the sound of bacon popping in the pan. 
He drapes himself over Steve's back and murmurs, "G'mornin," sleepily into the shell of his ear, the way he does every morning after Steve spends the night. This time, Steve balances his spatula on the edge of the pan and turns so that he can wrap his arms around his boyfriend’s waist. 
He presses a cheerful kiss to the corner of Eddie's mouth and says, "Happy Valentine’s Day." 
Eddie groans dramatically and throws his head back, the rest of his bodyweight following. If Steve didn't have a firm grip around his waist, he would have toppled over backward; the move turns into an awkward backbend instead. 
"Stevie please, it's too early for that crap. Wait until I've had my coffee at least." 
Steve grins. He releases his hold just long enough for Eddie to yelp and scrabble for balance before catching him and pulling him close again. 
"Jesus Christ," Eddie gasps. 
"Careful," Steve says with a smug grin, laughing when Eddie shoves him in the chest and pulls away.
They eat breakfast together, and then Steve follows Eddie outside for his morning cigarette. 
"Holy shit, look at this!" Eddie turns to Steve with the blue jay feather pinched between his fingers, grinning with delight. He hasn't brushed his hair yet and he's got a smear of bacon grease on his cheek, but he's so beautiful in that moment - so full of joy it shines out of him, like a lighthouse.
Just because he found a feather. Steve smiles back, helplessly besotted. "Pretty cool." 
Eddie twirls the feather between his fingers before tucking it behind his ear. “That’s a sign that today is gonna be a good day.”
Steve presses his mouth to the edge of his coffee cup to hide his expression. “Yeah, I think so too.”
———
Eddie rolls into the Family Video parking lot around 2 in the afternoon to visit before his band practice. He strolls inside and leans against the counter, plonking a silver wrapped Hershey kiss down in front of Steve. 
“Kiss for a kiss?” he says, with a smarmy grin. Steve rolls his eyes, but he checks to make sure they’re alone in the store before swooping forward for a quick peck on the lips.
“I got you something too,” he says.
“Oh?” Eddie raises one eyebrow, managing to look both curious and skeptical. “Please tell me it’s not a cheesy greeting card.”
Steve flips him the bird before reaching into his pocket. He pulls the keychain out and lets it dangle from one finger in front of Eddie’s face.
His boyfriend’s immediate reaction is to wrinkle his nose in disgust. The keychain is a garish red plastic heart, definitely the antithesis of Eddie’s usual metalhead vibe.
But it’s also sparkly. 
Steve’s lips curl into a satisfied smirk as Eddie takes the keychain from him, reluctantly admiring the way light sparks off the flakes of holographic glitter embedded in the plastic. The cheap little thing shimmers like a ruby in the afternoon sun.
“Some kid dropped it. They never came back, so it’s yours if you want it.” (That’s technically true, although Steve has been holding on to it for nearly a month now, waiting for today.)
“Oh, well then.” Eddie stuffs the keychain into his pocket. “Finders keepers, losers weepers!” He sticks his tongue out, eyes wide and exaggerated – then leans across the counter and licks Steve’s nose.
“Gross!” Steve sputters with laughter. He scrubs at his face and looks up just in time to see Eddie wave jauntily on his way out the door, a second Hershey kiss left sitting on the counter in his wake.
———
After Steve's shift is over, he runs home for a quick shower and a change of clothes before meeting Eddie at the diner. 
He did his best to talk his boyfriend into going on a proper date, but the most he could get Eddie to agree to was milkshakes and a movie (my choice Stevie, not some lame romance).
Steve walks into the diner and spots Eddie at the back booth. He saunters over and sets the third present onto the sticky Formica table with a click. It's a small golden gear, nearly paper-thin. 
"Check it out. Found this in the parking lot." 
(That's a lie. Steve carefully picked apart a broken old watch from the thrift shop in order to extract a handful of the little gears.)
"Hey, cool! I bet I could use this in the model I'm working on." Eddie pulls the pack of cigarettes out of his coat pocket and drops the gear inside for safe keeping. 
"What's the model for?" Steve asks.
Eddie launches into an animated explanation of the character he's creating for a new Hellfire campaign - a sun-worshiping priest that intends to trick the party into becoming a ritual sacrifice. 
"... and that gear thing would look pretty good on the top of his staff." 
Steve doesn't understand much of what Eddie's saying, but he loves the way his boyfriend talks with his whole body, moving his hands and shoulders and head along with the words. He rests his chin in his hand and lets Eddie ramble until the milkshakes arrive, smiling like a dope the whole time.
Eddie has no concept of time, so Steve is in charge of making sure they finish their milkshakes and leave the diner in time to make it to the movie. As Eddie slides into the passenger seat of the BMW, he says, “Hey – you think we have enough time to stop by the Circle K?”
Steve turns in his seat as he reverses out of the parking lot. "What do you need at the Circle K?" 
"Snacks! You can't go to a movie without provisions Stevie! And don't say we can buy some at the concessions stand, because the prices they charge are ridiculous."
“Well if we stop now, we’ll be late – but I’ve got some Milk Duds and trail mix…” Steve doesn’t realize what’s happening until it’s too late. Eddie pops open the glove compartment in his search for snacks, revealing Steve’s little stash of gifts. 
Eddie frowns in confusion. “What the hell?” He rifles through the pile as Steve groans.
“Shit. You weren’t supposed to see those yet.”
“What is all this?” Eddie picks up a ring, turning it over in his hands. It's a bulky silver biker ring, like the ones Eddie wears every day - only this one is shaped like a bat with tiny ruby eyes. Steve is particularly proud of that one, discovered in a box of assorted rings at the pawn shop.
Steve gnaws at his lip and runs a hand through his hair, ruining all his careful styling. "I know you hate Valentines, but I wanted to do something. Just… to show you how much I love you. So instead of the cards and flowers and stuff, I tried to find little things you might actually like. For your, you know… your 'dragon hoard' or whatever you call it."
"So the keychain and the gear..."
"And the feather."
Eddie's eyebrow twitches. He stares at the contents of the glove compartment; at the water smoothed stone from the lake and the multicolored twist of ribbon, the vivid green marble and the tiny mother of pearl locket. He looks down at the ring still clutched in his hand, and blinks rapidly. 
Steve glances nervously between Eddie and the road, hands tight on the steering wheel. He's disappointed that the surprise has been ruined, but more concerned about Eddie's reaction. He'd expected the other boy to laugh or tease him, not this... whatever this is. 
Finally, Eddie clears his throat roughly and speaks. "Actually, can we just head back to my place? I've got something I wanna show you, and I don't think I can wait through the movie." 
“Uh… sure.”
Steve's brain is buzzing as he takes a left instead of a right at the intersection. He's worked himself into a bit of a panic by the time they pull into the Munson's driveway. "Eddie, I..." 
Eddie interrupts him, practically throwing himself across the center console as he drags Steve into a fierce kiss. By the time Eddie lets him go, Steve is panting. "Wha...?" 
"Wait here," Eddie says with a wild grin. He presses Steve back into the seat for emphasis. "Don't move." 
He takes the steps up the porch two at a time and fumbles with his key to get inside as Steve watches in a daze. He has no idea what's going on. 
After a few minutes, Eddie returns to the door. He's pulled on a t-shirt with a faux tuxedo printed on the front, and he's standing straight backed in the doorway with a towel over his arm, like some kind of maître d’. He waves grandly toward Steve, beckoning him toward the house. 
Steve snorts with laughter as he climbs out of the BMW. “What are you doing?” 
"This way sir," Eddie replies in a terrible attempt at a posh English accent. Steve shakes his head, thoroughly bewildered and increasingly amused. 
He walks past Eddie through the doorway and freezes in surprise.
The living room has been transformed. Eddie set up the gaming table in the middle of the room – set with a crisp white tablecloth, the Munson’s best dishes, and a vase full of red roses sitting in the center of the table, flanked by two candles. More candles twinkle softly from the coffee table, the end tables - even on top of the tv. 
"Eddie..." Steve whispers in awe. "What is this?" 
"Well, ah... I kind of jumped the gun a little. It’s supposed to be a candlelight dinner. If we'd gone to the movie, Wayne would have had time to get all the food set up. But it won’t take long, I already cooked everything. Just gotta heat it up."
Steve’s vision goes watery, smearing the candlelight into one big blur as tears fill his eyes. He blinks hard to clear them. “I thought you hated all this stuff.”
Eddie shrugs and rubs the back of his neck nervously. “Well, yeah I do. But you love it. So I wanted to surprise you.”
Steve grips his boyfriend by the front of his ridiculous t-shirt and pulls him into a bone-cracking hug, before pulling back just far enough to kiss the breath from him. 
In a pause between kisses, Steve rests his forehead against Eddie’s and laughs a little breathlessly. “What made you change your mind about the movie?”
Eddie bites his lips, already swollen from kisses. Steve can’t tear his eyes away.
“I don’t know. When I saw all that stuff you collected for me…” he clears his throat, staring at Steve with wide dark eyes. “I’m… I know I’m weird. I’ve known that my whole life. I never thought I would find anyone that would tolerate me, let alone… celebrate me like that.”
He kisses Steve again, sweet and soft. “I couldn’t sit and wait for two hours after that. I had to get you home and show you how much I love you.”
“I love you too.” Steve smiles against Eddie’s mouth. “You know… I’m not really hungry yet.”
“Oh yeah?”
Steve trails his hands down Eddie’s chest, hooking his fingers into the belt loops of his jeans and tugging. “Mm-hmm. I think we need to work up an appetite first.”
Eddie laughs in delight. “Sounds like a good idea. You know how much I like dessert before dinner.”
A happy Valentine’s Day indeed.
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lagomoz · 8 months
Text
Everyone so far seems to be theorizing Amane’s victim as her dad, her mom, or an unnamed child also in the cult. I’ve got my own theory - it was Gozake.
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That’s Gozake, from Magic. The blue guy. He’s one of the four main figureheads of the cult, and possibly a music teacher of some kind to Amane, conducting her to sing in Magic. The very first shot of The Purge March is Amane playing the drums.
The mindscape Amane’s wield flags representing the four cult leaders (teachers? elders? propaganda peddlers? high up members? whatever, important cult people), but Gozake’s flag in particular is given special attention. 
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Same color scheme, same three dots over a narrow rectangle like design, same ear thingy to the side, same orb-like design features - that’s Gozake. Before we see it flying though, we see it crumpled up on the floor by Amane’s feet, something not true for any other flag.
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We then see an Amane messing up her flag routine, dropping Gozake’s flag in particular and falling over. The other Amane looms over her, preparing to punish her for a failure related to Gozake. Once the punishment starts, rain pours down.
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Then, the punished Amane begins to drown. You can even see the flag while she’s sinking.
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She drowns further, and we get another shot of just the flag, lying on the ground, and then the drowning Amane reaching up towards it. She’s reaching toward Gozake, the one responsible for drowning her.
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And he is the one drowning her. We see it directly in Magic.
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It cuts to the real world, with Amane actually being drowned, and her placed below the one drowning her like she is placed below the flag. 
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Take note of the framing, with one hand stretching from out of frame.
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I can’t find a better picture for her undercover card, but her location shows a bathroom. Undercover also has a shot of a victim lying on a blue tiled floor (we can’t see the floor, but the shower in Purge March has blue and green wall tiles) with water coming down. Blue and water are representations of Gozake (Amane’s character color is aqua), and it’s framed as a single hand stretching out while the rest is (mostly) obscured, and takes place in the bathroom (or at least a bathroom) that Amane was drowned by Gozake in.
Throughout the MV, there’s a lot of blue, too. Amane’s school uniform is blue, the cloth she heals the cat with is blue (the cloth later becomes bloody, another thing representing Gozake being damaged), the sky and general background and lighting is blue. Symbols of Gozake are present everywhere in the MV.
The suit man with the briefcase could be Gozake, I’m not sure. Gozake would fit the profile - a cult member, adult male, disapproving of medicine, willing to put Amane in harm’s way - but I don’t have further evidence.
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Before Amane goes all in on the cult’s doctrine, she has an umbrella, but it’s unopened. The baton she uses to kill and to represent her as fully converted and the opening umbrella are overlayed. 
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The lyrics show her motivation for the murder, as both a means of protection and revenge. She’s been horrifically abused for years, and has taken on the role of the punisher to avoid being the punished.
“It’s my turn to tear you apart / So there is no second time, I’ll give back the judgment that you gave to me /  It’s now your turn to say that hopeless “I’m sorry” /  You’re sorry? I don’t care! / Please, go ahead and die already / Remember MY cries, MY repents, MY words of “I’m sorry” that I said to you?”
Beyond showing a lot of resentment and disdain for the one she’s speaking to - her victim - the phrasing clearly shows that she’s not just punishing a sinner, she’s turning the tables. She’s returning the favor to someone who’s been violent to her in the past.
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The umbrella is symbolically her murder weapon and what she uses to punish others, but also literally and obviously a tool to protect from the rain. What she uses to kill is what protects her from Gozake. She can’t take the abuse anymore and tries to become the cult sanctioned violent avenger that’s hurt her so many times. She can’t be the victim if she’s the perpetrator.
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The final shot has her over the corpse, having tracked in water from the rain. The puddles lead right to it and the framing is the same as both the Undercover victim and the one drowning her - a single hand, reaching from out of frame.
Amane killed Gozake.
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the-s1lly-corner · 5 months
Note
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The TADC cast with a reader who’s a fluffy droopy eared bunny like the picture above.
Those eyes have absolutely no thoughts behind them just vibes (that may or may not include various types of cake)
Readers just a little fella,an absolute pal.they give soft plush hugs but the catch is that their like 7’5 tall.their super kind and patient and somehow always know what to say or do to help the cast.
(Also…JAX FIDGET HC!! He totally flops their ears about)
TADC cast x big soft silly plushie bunny!reader!!!!!
uueueueue the macarons i made earlier ended up so good!! easily some of the nicest and prettiest ones i made recently; not like bakery level pretty but none of them collapsed or cracked! main issue is that some of them kind of have a tip or bump on the top from the piping!! otherwise theyre solid!! gonna answer some stuff then i might go draw then hit the sack
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CAINE:
i like to think that he took one of your ears in each of his hands and lifted them up, messing with them a bit before letting them flop down to your sides. has probably tried to blow you away with spectacles and grand gestures only for you to blink dully at him... oh... was he saying something..? you werent really paying attention... always reties your bow/bowtie when it comes undone, he cant have you not being ... not presentable..! very much endeared by your sweet demeanor and very loudly asks for hugs every now and then
POMNI:
has probably waved her hand in front of your face to see if you were awake and/or alive, genuinely thought that you were a real normal plushie the first time she saw you. got jumpscared when you slowly moved your head to look at her. oh dear! please reassure her that everything is fine!
since shes new you have taken to hovering around her during IHAs to make sure shes safe.. you have probably picked her up to your chest and made a run for it. like literally just pomni held flat to you and you just running with her. silly, i think
RAGATHA:
one of my favorite ragatha headcannons that lowkey becoming a given and my go to; she makes you accessories to go on your ears! bows and ribbons and the like! she thinks you look so so cute; vaguely reminds her of a bunny doll she used to have in her childhood, at least thats her guess judging by the warped and murky memories of her old life in the real world. has accidentally left you behind because you were spacing out and thinking about whatever it is that goes on in your head... thinks youre as sweet as can be, probably calls you "carrot cake" or something along the lines
"sweetie bell"
sits
JAX:
messes with your long droopy ears. not uncommon for him to just grab one and run his thumb over you false fur and fabric. he thinks youre too soft; literally and metaphorically. you make a great cuddle buddy and give great hugs, but youre just too nice for your own good. and on the off chance that youre actually paying attention when hes setting up a prank for someone, you put a stop to it. pulling pranks is mean, especially jax's style of pranks! you cant have that!
jax definitely pouts off to the side when you sabotage him.. youd think the two bunny folk would get along with one another!
well its not like you guys dont get along, youre too nice for that and sometimes i feel like jax's conscious would step in at least once and he would try to be nicer to you, at least for a day
KINGER:
sometimes he likes snuggling into you within the pillow fort, your body is just so soft and warm and comforting, youre literally just a giant teddy bear- er... bunny! stuffed bunny! honestly he probably hangs around you more than he would hang around a normal reader simply because youre just so sweet and soft, as well as inviting. you both tend to space out together.. do you think he accidentally put you in the walls of his pillow fort, before he realized you were a whole person ? like do i think kinger is that dense? no, but i do think that the thought it really really funny and silly and i can definitely see it as a gag
ZOOBLE:
tries to pretend that theyre not into how soft and comfy you are.... but they find themselves subtly leaning into you when youre nearby. i would say that they would be blunt with wanting to be held or wanting a hug like they are with everything else.. but i think when it comes to affection, zooble can be a little... eh... like theyre bad at saying what they want when they want it, at least verbally.. your softness makes up for the fact that they feel like those hard plastic kids toys
sometimes get a little annoyed by your... empty eyed look... because sometimes its really hard to tell when youre paying attention or not
GANGLE:
love love loves snuggling into you after a rough day, bonus if youre fixing up her comedy mask while she presses her other masked-face into your fluff and venting about her day. oh that jax is so so mean! please rub her back... her.. ribbons, actually. honestly hugs from you are s tier and the very best because as said several times before, youre really soft and comfortable. you guys tend to lock yourselves up in gangles room and hang out when a IHA isnt going on; and thats just fine with the both of you because you have one anothers company
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lauraryuguji · 3 months
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Enzo Vogrincic x Reader.
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There you were, sitting elegantly next to Enzo at one of the many premieres that the new series generated. Your fingers trembled momentarily with the new anxiety, but it became something normal.
"Oh, a question for Enzo now." The woman said smiling as she opened a small piece of paper. "In principle, you and our guest of honor would never have played a romance in this series, but what does that mean?"
Enzo smiled before looking at you embarrassed and answering calmly. "Well, I didn't like her at all... I mean, it was a bit of jealousy since we shared a particular friend and suddenly she and he did everything together."
The presenter nods as she lets out a sincere smile.
"But our director came in one day and said that the show needed this spark of chemistry that we had. I was like, really? I hate that girl."
You laugh embarrassedly before covering your face with your hands, Enzo slipping his arm over her whispering some apology.
"But we'll get through this, my tantrum can't last long."He massages her back.
"That's magnificent, a real enemies to lovers." The presenter says gently. "The next question is for you."
You nod; everyone admired how you could be so discreet off camera and so expressive on stage.
"Did you know about this hatred of Enzo?" She asks.
"Actually, there's a scene where he says he hated me... and that scene wasn't in the script." You smile. "Coupled with his treatment, I might have had an idea."
"Let me defend myself." He laughs, raising his hands in surrender. "It was only a three-week hatred."
"But after that, Enzo became a very dear friend." You smile again, but notice how he looks at you differently.
The presenter finishes, you and Enzo wave to the camera before being released and heading to the dressing room. It was a short walk, but the air seemed thicker. Enzo throws himself down on the sofa and takes off the microphone, you remain standing, untangling yourself from the wires.
"What's wrong?" you ask him, and he doesn't even make a point of looking at you, turning his head the other way.
"I don't like the way the phrase 'Enzo dear friend' sounds." Enzo puts his feet up on the table.
"What did you want me to say?" his voice is always so soft.
"I don't know, maybe that I'm not your friend? That I'm more than your friend and less than a boyfriend?" he groans, staring at the ceiling."You know that's stupid, you're being immature." She shakes her head.
"Yes, I'm an immature shit for loving someone who doesn't have the guts to tell me they're with me." His words are like knives, and you're his target.
"Don't say that." The soft voice murmurs.
"It's not the truth?" For the first time he looks at her. His eyes are filled with confusion, heat, pleading.
"You know it's not." She looks at him. "Just stop and think about what you're saying."
"It's what I've been thinking for a long time." He stands up abruptly.
He waits for her to say something, he mentally begs her to tell him he's wrong, he begs her not to let him say those things. But she doesn't, she stares at the floor and doesn't even move when he walks past her and closes the door with a loud bang.
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Text
Hazbin Hotel Ep 5&6 Oh My God (Major Spoilers)
I am having so many thoughts, this is just a brain dump
-LUCIFER. He’s so pathetic I love him
-Jeremy Jordan you fucking legend. I’m a big fan of a lot of his work and was excited to see him in this but I was slightly unsure if he was the right casting since I expected Lucifer to be more of a high and mighty/snobby figure, but with the way they characterised him HE IS PERFECT.
-“TAKE THAT DEPRESSION”
-The Lucifer vs Alastor rivalry is beautiful
-“Ha ha, fuck you.”
-Father figure Alastor
-HIS EARS GO BACK LIKE A CAT WHEN HES ANGRY I CANT
-MIMZY’S ARRIVAL. I know most of us know the lore about her and Alastor being developed as a couple before it was scrapped but I really like how they are in the show
-Even if it’s just crumbs I’m so excited to be getting snippets of Alastor’s lore. It’s wild to keep going back and forth between “aw he actually cares for and protects his friends” and “oh my god he’s a fucking psycho”
-Speaking of that the scene with Husk holy shit. Poor man looked terrified
-The confirmation that Alastor’s also stuck working for someone, it has to be Lilith surely. I know some people will call it predictable because a lot of theories are coming true but personally I think it’s from good worldbuilding/foreshadowing
-ALASTOR IN FULL DEMON FORM JUST ANNIHILATING EVERYONE and then he just goes “Ah that was fun, now back to it”
-I kinda like the parallel between Al and Mimzy & Angel and Cherri where they invite their friends to join them if they want to, even if neither of them take it up initially maybe we’ll see them join the hotel in the future?
-BABY CHARLIE
-I really expected Lucifer to be a dickhead and a shitty dad, but he seems to be an overall better guy than most people in hell
-CHERRI BOMB ARRIVAL! And she’s Aussie now fuck yeah represent
-I still love her and Angel’s friendship even if she is a terrible influence. Everyone’s got that friend who’s solution to a bad day is just self-destruction but they mean well at least
-DARREN CHRIS TOO, THE MUSICAL THEATRE/BROADWAY ACTOR CASTING IS STACKED
-Emily is so sweet I love her
-The Molly cameo is so sweet, I was waiting for her to appear somewhere but lowkey forgot she was in heaven. Honestly though how did she get there when the rest of her and Angel’s family got condemned for what they did together? Maybe she left the mob or something idk I just hope we get to meet her properly at some point
-Heaven’s real fucked up? Yeah not shocked
-VAGGIE?? FALLEN ANGEL REVEAL?? AND SHE WAS AN EXTERMINATOR???? I know most of us called it but holy shit I didn’t expect it to be confirmed this soon
-Adam is such a dick but he’s so much fun
-I love that Charlie was gonna start her court presentation with definitions like a high school essay
-“Consent is a good name for a sex club” the gentleman Husk truthers gonna have fun with this one
-Pentious hitting on Cherri is hilarious and totally not the same level of subtlety I flirt with when I’m drunk
-Hearing more and more about how Val treats Angel is so sad especially with how casually he talks about it since it’s just another day for him
-Him parenting drunk Nifty is beautiful
-“You wanna play with the kitty?”
-Valentino is my #1 enemy
-Seeing Angel stand up to him to protect his friends is making me feel feelings. Like he knows that he’s gonna be treated even worse for it but I think he’s reaching his tipping point and shits gonna go down soon
-Also I know there’s a popular theory that he’s gonna die soon and a lot of the theories are coming true so I am scared. I kind of don’t think this one’ll happen though since he’s the fan favourite and its just too soon to take that much of a risk. Plus Vivsie’s admitted he’s the best written character and it’d be such a waste of all that development
-More sweet moments between him and Husk, they’ve gotten me so invested in this ship so fast
-The fact that most of heaven didn’t know about the extermination?? Wild
-Idk how I feel about the timeskip between Ep 4&5, they’re only a month away from the extermination now. Yes it’s making the stakes feel higher but I do wish we’d been able to see more of that time for the relationship development, all the characters seem much closer than before and we’ve only seen bits of how they got there
-I really wish they’d greenlit more than 8 episodes to pace things a little better but I’m glad we have season 2 confirmed
-That last minute ‘reveal Vaggie’s past to Charlie, boot them out of heaven and then cut to credits before she can react’ is gonna torture me until next week
-I don’t disagree with past criticism that Vivzie’s female characters can feel a bit underwritten but I think it’s getting better
-“We’re coming to the hotel first” plus all the theories that someone’s gonna die are fucking stressing me out man
Anyway hope you enjoy the brain dump, this show has once again consumed my thoughts
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moralesmilesanhour · 10 months
Text
teamwork (makes the dream work...?) pt. 3
summary: a big project is announced in class, meaning you and miles need to get your shit together. and other stuff.
wc: ~2k (I know.)
warnings: very briefly implied neglect...?
A/N: I struggled a lot w this one but I kinda got my flow back at the end! enjoy :)
prev. miles' pov snippet next
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By now, there were three things that you had never seen Miles Morales do:
Work with a partner, say ‘hello’ first, and eat lunch in the cafeteria.
The first thing was about to change in the next forty-five minutes or so. 
The third, you’d soon figure out as you crept quietly up the staircase that led to the rooftop. You had planned to convince the boy to actually cooperate with you in Calculus, offering to do his English homework in exchange. 
As soon as you reach the top of the stairwell, though, all thoughts of negotiation leave you. Your eyes land on Miles’ heaving figure, and you realize that there's a fourth thing you’d never seen him do: cry.
The only sound that could be heard was the whistling of wind and the small, whimpering sounds that it carried with it. He didn’t seem to have a bag or tray of food with him. It unnerved you to try to imagine what could make a boy that tall shrivel up like that.
You didn’t say anything (what could you say?), slowly stepping back down the stairwell.  While your back was turned, Miles peeked through his elbows and caught a glimpse of your retreating sneakers. He didn’t come downstairs until the bell rang.
You sat down at your not-by-the-window seat. Miles had arrived earlier than you as usual, but his head was down, seemingly asleep. 
The case holding his glasses sat unopened. As usual.
“Today, you all will begin to brainstorm for your partnered projects,” Ms. Jones beamed, clapping her hands together.
Miles’ head suddenly perked up. He looked like he’d just seen a ghost, while you chewed on your pencil’s eraser absentmindedly. There was no way Jones was about to pair you up with a temporary partner–
“...and I’ve switched some of the pairings to account for those who are unable to join us this week.” The woman made direct eye contact with you as she finished the sentence, and your stomach dropped.
 “Everyone will be partnered with the scholar sitting next to them.”
Small cheers and celebratory squeals erupted across the classroom. You look at Miles, who still has rings of red around his puffy eyes. He glances at you before turning away to fake-stare out of the window. 
Jones continues, “Your AP Physics teacher and I have decided to combine our projects into one prompt, meaning that the instructions are two-fold. In Physics, as you already know, you will be writing a lab report based on the experiments y’all have been doing all of last week. In my class, you’ll also come up with three short calculus problems based on real-life scenarios--”
The woman paused at the wave of groans and sighs, and shook her head.
 “--based on what you have learned, both here and in Physics. You will present at least one of them in class for your own mini-lessons. Any questions?”
The classroom was silent as she quickly scanned the room,
“Well, alright, then! I need someone to pass around these brainstorming sheets.”
Miles had a frown on his face for the entirety of Ms. Jones’ spiel, arms crossed like a toddler. You would’ve found it funny if you weren’t currently in the same boat.
Two sheets of paper landed on your desk, and you passed one to him.
“Any ideas, Morales?” 
“Not in an ‘ideas’ mood at the moment,” the boy muttered, massaging his temples.
You rest your chin on the backs of your hands and sigh.
“Fair enough.”
Another awkward silence. You began to jot down a few topics for math problems: projectiles, the speed of a vehicle, but your pen eventually slowed to a stop out of boredom. Had your friend been here, she would’ve filled the silence with lively conversation about the news, P.E., or Ms. Jones’ outfit. 
“Why don't you like working with people?” you ask, suddenly. Miles cut his eyes at you.
“ ‘Cuz of questions like that.”
“What if I’m just tryna make conversation?”
“About what?”
“Well, whatever’s on your mind,” you gesture towards the open spiral notebook next to him full of sketches. He hasn’t added anything new to it all class. “Must be something happening up there.”
The boy’s eyes flickered toward the page. You’d already seen it, so there was no point in shutting the notebook closed.
“I don’t see what’s so interesting about these.”
You tilted your head to see the drawings better. Some of the figures leaping across the page looked vaguely familiar; some from action movies, others from anime, judging by the hair.
“I like your art style. It’s so…” you stare up at the ceiling, lips jutting out as you try to find the right word. “...Knife-y.”
The corners of Miles’ lips quiver, and an unusual sound suddenly escapes him. His hand flies up to cover his mouth, and his shoulders shake as he briefly turns away.
“My fault,” he says, turning back around after clearing his throat. “You said it’s what?”
The sound of his stifled laughter makes you giggle despite being the subject of it.
“It’s sharp and pointy, okay? That’s what I meant.” 
At this point, both of you are struggling to keep a straight face at the back of the classroom.
“Why didn’t you just say that?”
“Listen, I forget words a lot. Gimme a break!”
Miles wipes a tear away, “Yeah, I ain’t never letting you forget that one.”
“Okay, back to the drawings, though. Who’s that?” you pointed at a sketch of the caped figure with sharp eyes from before. A shadow fell over the boy’s expression.
“Nobody important. Just sumn I made up.”
You hum in acknowledgement, drumming your fingers on the desk.
“One more question, then I’ll leave you alone. Why don’t you eat downstairs with everyone else?”
“It’s too loud down there, so I eat in the counselor’s office,” he answered.
Miles narrowed his eyes. “Now, can I ask you a question?”
“Go ahead.”
“How’d you know I don’t eat downstairs?”
He knew the answer, of course. But he wanted to know if you’d lie.
You nibbled at your bottom lip, staring at the solid lines on your worksheet.
“I…may or may not have seen you. Upstairs.”
Miles nodded slowly, silently. As if he was considering something.
“You was looking for me?”
“Yeah, I didn’t mean to…interrupt,” you look up and meet the boy’s eyes. “Did you get to eat lunch, though?”
He gave you a weird look. “What’s that gotta do with you stalking me?”
Crossing your arms defensively, you shot back, “You were so damn worried about whether I ate, why can’t I return the favor?”
Miles’ eyes widened for a moment, before darting in the other direction. “I think you should go back to doing your work.”
Just as he finished his sentence, the school bell rang. Miles was already standing with his bag slung over his shoulder.
As you gather your stuff, you call out, “Wait! I need your email for this project, I forgot.”
“Right,” Miles ripped out a sheet of paper from his notebook, scribbling his email address on it before handing it to you. “I’ll share my slides with you when I’m done.”
Your brows furrowed in confusion. 
“I thought you weren’t in an ‘ideas’ mood, today.”
The boy shrugged as he pulled the back door open with his free arm, stopping it with his foot. “I am now. We’re getting graded as a group.”
-
The two of you had decided to reconvene just outside the basketball court after the final bell of the day.
“You already decided to take over the slides, lemme at least present!”
“Nope. Not riskin’ it.”
You groaned, pacing around as Miles leaned on the chain link fence.
“I’m literally good at public speaking, what ‘risk’?”
“You,” Miles pointed, “are an entire letter grade below me in English. Why should I believe you?”
“I am on the mock trial team, bro.”
He raised a challenging eyebrow. “You any good at it, though?”
You scoffed, “Of course I am!”
“Prove it. Gimme a closing speech right now.”
A deep sigh left you, but you did happen to have a speech on-hand that you had won with last season. You moved to stand in front of Miles as if he were a jury member, and cleared your throat.
“Ladies and gentlemen of the jury,” you began, “in today’s trial, we have clearly laid out the facts of this case…”
By the time your speech was over, the court was empty and quiet. Miles nodded slowly, a smile spreading across his features. Your voice took on a sharp precision and clarity that he hadn’t gotten to hear in the couple days he’d known you.
“Shit, maybe that nigga is innocent,” he said beneath a laugh. “Alright.”
“You gonna let me present?” you perked up.
“Yeah, you convinced me. My bad,” the boy stuck out his hand.
You rolled your eyes, and shook it.
“Yeah, your bad.”
Suddenly, your hand flew over your mouth when you recalled something.
“Oh, shit, I gotta stay after and do my readings.”
“Stay…after?” Miles repeated. “There’s no office hours today.”
“I know,” you shrugged, “I just sorta hang out around here to do my homework till it gets too dark.”
The boy’s face was a picture of disbelief.
“Why don’t you just do it at home?”
“Too noisy. Can’t focus.”
Miles stared at the ground, looking deep in thought. He got off of the fence.
“Look, do you wanna study at mine? If your parents let you, I mean.”
“Don’t need to ask ‘em. Long as I’m home before midnight,” you replied.
Miles shook his head, but said nothing as he took out his phone and began to dial a number.
“Hello? Hi, mami. ¿Puedo estudiar con un compañero de clase?”
He paused for a second to wait for a reply.
“Sí, es la misma chica. M-hm. Love you, bye.”
“She said yes?”
Miles nodded, then gestured to get you to follow him. “Yup, ‘till ten.”
You hummed thoughtfully as the two of you began walking.
“I like your Spanish. It sounds better than Ms. Sanchez’s,” you remarked.
“ ‘My Spanish’?” Miles looked back at you briefly, eyes narrowed. “What does that even mean?”
“It just sounds nice.”
“You’re weird. Walk faster.”
-
“Can you even see without those?”
You pointed towards the brown case sitting on the small desk by Miles’ laptop as he typed away.
“I’ve seen enough,” he replied, keeping his eyes glued to the screen. The soft ‘thud’ of the case shutting reverberated across the quiet bedroom.
“I wouldn’t wear ‘em, if I was you. Fuck up your eyesight.”
“Too late,” you chirped. The case contained a pair of green, rectangular prescription glasses. The lenses were still clean from their utter lack of use. Of course, you couldn’t see a thing through them.
“Damn, you blind as fuck!”
This earned a snort from Miles. He paused his rapid typing and turned around to see you sprawled out on his bed, staring up at the ceiling through his glasses.
“Bro, do your homework,” he laughed. “Did you even start?”
You looked over at the small paperback novel laying by your head. 
“Maybe,” you said with a grunt, propping yourself up on your elbows. “How many chapters we got?”
“Just two.”
“Just?”
“I finished the book yesterday, you’ll be a’ight,” Miles said as he turned back to his laptop.
“Of course yo’ ass already finished the damn–Who’s point of view is this?” you asked, squinting at the paragraph you had left off on.
“Minerva’s, we in part two now.”
“Thanks.”
You sat in a comfortable silence for the next few hours, and you had read the assigned chapters before you knew it. The time on your phone read ‘9:01pm’ when you checked it. You heard Miles shut his laptop.
“A’ight, you gotta get up outta here. My ma said she gonna drop you off before work, that okay?”
“So soon?” you joked, sitting upright.
“Yeah, you need to dip. What if I had a girl over and she saw yo ass lying on my bed?”
“Alright, Mr. Bitches, I’m gone,” you hopped to your feet. “Lemme get my shoes first.”
Miles rose from his swivel chair and stretched.
“Damn right, I am.”
“Whatever you say, Morales.”
-
I don’t think I’ve ever written this many elipses and italics in my life. Anyways, I hope y’all enjoyed this longer-than-usual chapter. I’ll be uploading a bonus snippet that I cut out of this chapter this coming week, so look out for that ;)
thanks for reading!
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sokkastyles · 1 month
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I have a question, I know we know that shipping does not equal morality. And I get that, and I really like that. However, on my other blog, that should have been my main blog (yes I am that dumb). I have talked about Aang's non-consensual and criticized how Kataang is written, however, if you ship Kataang I won't come for your throat because that's not my style. I know the few misogynists/antis on here and on Twitter, and I don't want to let a few bad apples be my impression of a fandom, that's not fair, So now I'm side-eyeing myself over my past remarks. Likewise, I know shipping is not equal to morality, but I also want to criticize Kataang because of how flawed it is and how wrong that kiss was (and other things). I have no idea what I'm saying because at this point I'm rambling. What do you think?
Well, there is a difference between criticizing a ship and criticizing canon. I don't honestly care what people ship. I use the antikataang tag because I don't want to argue with people who do ship it, but that doesn't mean I won't be critical of what is in the show. I think expecting people not to engage critically with media is absolute nonsense. But there is a difference between engaging critically with the actual media and criticizing people's fanon or headcanons, which is where you get away from critically engaging with canon and move into the area of criticizing other people's opinions, which is how arguments start.
Like, there isn't really any actual concrete argument you can make to criticize zutara, because zutara does not exist in canon. It's all fanon and headcanons and speculation. And criticizing other people's opinions just makes you look like a dick.
You also have to take into account the intention behind something. The thing about the way Katara's relationship with Aang is presented is that we're supposed to root for Aang to get Katara, and every obstacle towards that end is just there to create dramatic tension for the male point of audience identification. That's the real problem with the noncon kiss, and people who are critical of it are right to point it out.
In contrast, when I say shipping isn't morality, I'm talking about people who write, let's say, dubcon zutara fics. Fanfiction as a genre is largely female-centered fantasy. Yes, even those lurid fics you're thinking of. People write and read these fics for completely different reasons and have completely different expectations than when watching a series like ATLA. Trying to say that someone can't criticize the way the show presents Aang kissing Katara after she said she was confused as a mistake to be glossed over (that is forgotten as soon as it happens) because they also happen to like reading darkfic is nonsense. There's also a long history of women's interests being policed that informs my views here, vs the fact that consent has only fairly recently become a conversation in mainstream media. You have only to look at the way the show itself portrays Katara having interests (especially in boys) outside of Aang as dark and dangerous to see this happening in ATLA itself. Or the way the creators got away with saying that zutara shippers are doomed to end up in abusive relationships while painting Aang as a typical Nice Guy stereotype who expects Katara to magically become his girlfriend (and gets angry when she doesn't) and seeing nothing wrong with it.
The thing is that zutara, if we look at the way it's written in canon as a metaphor for a romantic relationship, follows the same tradition of how fanfiction has historically existed as an exploration of romantic and sexual dynamics. Those conversations about consent are actually happening and being explored in fanfiction, even the dark stuff, whereas relationships that are presented as "wholesome" often push us to NOT have those conversations. So when I say shipping isn't morality, what I actually mean is that noncanon shipping and darkfic actually has more of a moral leg to stand on than uncritically engaging with relationships on the grounds that Aang is the hero so his goodness and worthiness to get the girl should just be assumed. Zuko has to work for his right to be in a relationship with Katara because he didn't start out from a place of goodness, and that, on its own, is very female centered because instead of starting out from the perspective of the male hero deserving a relationship by virtue of being the hero, we see the idea that a man has to work to gain a woman's respect and affection.
So it's not so much that I hate KA, but I hate the idea that we should engage in it uncritically. And that would be true even if it really was the most wholesome relationship in the world. The same thing cannot be true of zutara because even the darkest of darkfic are about women centering themselves in the narrative and engaging with power dynamics in ways that are subverting patriarchal norms about relationships by definition.
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