#she still has to ask me in every convo we have what my sexuality is even tho i’ve been out as bi for three fucking years

[butchdonne]

10,15 for the pride ask game

hey ty for the asks!!

10. Something that gives you gender euphoria (whether you're cis or trans): depends on whether i’m in a masculine mood or a feminine mood but for masc i have a sports bra that can act as a binder and if i wear that with an oversized tshirt and my designated ‘masc jeans’ i can look so androgynous imo. for femme i have my favourite dress <3

15. How has your identity changed over time? back when i was 14 i started to question my gender and i was sort of switching between bigender and using she/he and pangender and using she/they/he but one of my friends (who identified as nonbinary at the time!!!) was super bitchy about it – like she’d ask me my pronouns every single time she talked about me but she’d do it in a passive-aggressive ‘ugh what gender are you this time’ way, and it was very discouraging so i stopped questioning and just went with she/they/he even tho it didn’t feel right, and then eventually thought it was all internalised misogyny and went back to she/her. so it wasn’t until recently that i figured out my gender identity and i’m still pissed at that girl about it and she’s still passive-aggressive about my gender identity and uses they/them pronouns for me even tho i use she/he.

#she acted like bcs i’d changed my gender identity so many times it was somehow not valid #as if she hadn’t gone from cis to genderfluid to nonbinary to nonbinary but using she/her #and she does the same w my sexuality btw #she still has to ask me in every convo we have what my sexuality is even tho i’ve been out as bi for three fucking years #doesn’t respect my grey-asexuality even tho i helped her work through her sexuality and whether she was aro or not #and she would never have figured out her sexuality were it not for me being friends with her #sorry this has just turned into a rant about this one friend #BUT SHE REALLY ANNOYS ME AND THIS ISN’T EVEN EVERYTHING #AUGHH #pip squeaks

[thearcher1003]

how did you know you were aro?

I don't know what I am gonna type out here or even if it will make sense. A lot has happened in the last 3 years since the time I started to question my sexuality. I will try to put it into words and keep it short (I did not in fact keep it short and I am sorry for that but you don't have to read through this messy story).

So first, my exposure to queer media. During lockdown I started reading Percy Jackson books where they mentioned the hunters of Artemis, one of the conditions to join them is that you have to take an oath to turn your back on company of men and any kind of romantic approach from any gender or sexuality. I found that idea interesting and I thought to myself how hard could that be, if that's the condition I would happily join them in an instant? When scrolling through some posts about hunters of Artemis I came across the term aro/ace. At that time I didn't think much of it. I never had a crush on anyone and I always thought it was because I was too young to be interested in romance (I was 14 at the time) and assumed that everyone my age was like that, note that it was lockdown so I wasn't going to school which is why I didn't know about the crushes and romantic interests of kids my age. So, the whole lockdown was the time when I became very interested in the queer community, I saw several posts on pinterest regarding this and made a board and thought of myself as merely an ally.

Then schools opened and there were couples all around. I was like gotta focus on studies, don't have time for this, blah blah blah. Also, that year a lot of other shit happened and the pressure of exams and getting good grades was taking toll on my mental health. I was too busy breaking down every other day because of that pressure to think about anything else.

Anyways that shit passed, I was in 11th grade and then came the real sexuality crisis. Some new students transferred to our school and one of them became really close friend. She got a boyfriend and started spending more time with him (which is bound to happen I know now but past me was experiencing it all for the first time) and I felt left out because now we were spending less time together and even when we were together she mostly talked about him. Tbh I was jealous and I thought this was a crush. I thought I liked her (romantically) and I thought a lot about the whole "turn your back on company of men" and came to the conclusion that I am not interested in men still and not even women but just her. That's when I also learnt about demiromanticism and it did click a lot of things in place for me. Like I always thought that the idea of love at first sight was unrealistic when it was shown in movies and questioned how can you fall in love without knowing a person properly and also believed that you need to be really close to a person to actually know them, so overall that term resonated with me. I knew I was asexual but at this point I started to dive more into the concept of aromanticism and the whole spectrum. I was convinced that I had a crush on her. Again a lot of shit happened and I realised that it wasn't a crush, my feelings weren't romantic, it was purely platonic and I was jealous because I became very close with her and suddenly the focus of our friendship shifted from us to him, I was very emotionally attached to her as well because I haven't had a friendship like that in a long time so when she became entirely focused on her boyfriend, I felt like an outsider. It took me a whole ass year to figure this out. And in between that time I gaslighted myself into thinking that I had a crush on this another guy because she asked me if I did and I thought this is what a crush must feel like so I said yes. But as I talked more to that guy, I just, idk how to describe it but it was not exactly comfortable for me, as long as we were having a normal convo about our interests I was fine and actually talked happily but when he started to flirt and I imagined myself in a romantic relationship with him, it felt weird to me, it was not something I wanted, it was just ugh. Anyways, what I realised from that time with that guy is that what I thought was romantic attraction was just me being excited to interact with a human being who was actually interested in me and gave attention to me (you can blame my childhood for that). I also kind of realised that it was how I felt about my friend. But it was more difficult for me to distinguish between romantic attraction and a wish to have a close friendship in her case because I was already emotionally attached to her. End of the story, a series of very chaotic events and break downs lead to me realising that I only wanted her as a close friend, I couldn't imagine myself in a romantic relationship with her and I was only bothered by her having a boyfriend because it momentarily threatened the close bond that we had formed. Now, everything is fine (more or less), there is more clarity between us and we are still very close. During this mess I also questioned if I was poly but I figured I am not. There's more to this crisis but I have already written a LOT so not going into the chaotic details. Sorry for making it so long.

(Edit: One more thing I realised about myself is that I was always so unaware about the supposedly romantic interactions of allos around me unless it was really obvious, blatant or put right into my face. Like even when my best friend and her boyfriend were in the flirting stage I didn't realise they were actually flirting, I just thought they were close friends and that was pretty normal thing for friends to do, so, yeah this realisation had a great hand in me figuring out I am aro. Thinking of romance in other people's life is fine but when it comes to me I find it hard) So sorry for making the post even lengthier :/

[empathetic]

Honestly I don’t think people in leftist communities are talking nearly enough about cis women’s issues anymore. And I don’t mean cis as in relation to trans women, I’m saying cis women in reference to the fact that misogyny and patriarchy are very real things that do affect cis woman on the basis of their sex. And this shouldn’t be a controversial or TERF-y thing to say because it’s literally true.

From a personal experience as an Indian woman raised Muslim: a few years ago, two of my female cousins my age who live in India had to get married as soon as their dad passed unexpectedly because their mom was unable to get her own education to provide for the family, and they needed the support of potential husbands. My cousins were 19 and 20 when they got married. The 19 year old has barely turned 22 and already has 2 children. She had to stop going to school and her entire life is about her marriage, kids, and family. And another cousin said that her husband doesn’t let her watch TV so she has to watch when he’s not home. And when I went to india I’ve had every single woman I’ve met and talked to for more than a minute in passing ask me when I’m getting married. For fucks sakes my grandma even tried to arrange marriages for me without my permission and I’m barely turning 22 this month, and wants me to try to marry my fucking COUSIN so that i can be further controlled.

I had a convo w my mom about how rampant misogyny is in her home city in india. How she was asked what her husbands name was so she could pick up her own medicine from the pharmacy, and she asked “why do you need that information?” so the guy at the counter then asked her (a 50 year old woman) for her FATHERS name. About the women she and I know.. women who had to quit their jobs because their husbands don’t want them working, even if it means that there is less income to provide for their families because the husbands a deadbeat and still expects his wife to do all the domestic labor for him too while he literally does nothing. Women who are forced to lose their entire lives for their families and husbands’ patriarchal expectations and have children they didn’t truly want or stop going to school. Women who can’t get a divorce from abusive men because it will deem them worthless and damaged so nobody will want to marry them or even their daughters.

Women who can’t go out alone or without a man because they’ll get harassed or assaulted by men. Women who wear niqab or burqa because they get harassed and assaulted by men, but it not mattering because the men already know what their body shape looks like and what their eyes look like and what shoes they wear. Women who get assaulted anyways. Women who are made to believe that they need to cover up and be ashamed of themselves because men are perverted monsters that can’t help but rape every woman he could get his hands on. Women who don’t know what marital rape is because it’s completely normalized and that’s just what sex is, right? Women who are abused by their husbands when they don’t meet their demands, sexual or not, and comply because they don’t want to keep getting beaten or berated. Women who are deemed impure when they’re on their periods. Women who are constantly treated like second class citizens, born as property of their fathers and then passed on as property of their husbands, because they are just seen as baby-making machines and sex dolls.

And there is obviously so much more than this.. this is purely what I’ve seen and dealt with personally. And it’s infuriating that it seems like nobody ever really wants to talk about this because it’s somehow controversial to even acknowledge that cis women are treated as inferior to men under patriarchy due to their biological sex. They are treated as inferior because they have vaginas that can be penetrated and uteri that can carry a fetus. This is how patriarchy operates in the first place, whether we like it or not. In an ideal world, patriarchy wouldn’t exist and we wouldn’t have to think of cis women’s oppression on the basis of their genitalia and reproductive organs because.. well.. that oppression wouldn’t exist. But it does! And so we might as well fucking talk about it and find ways to empower women who are unable to do so. There’s more we can do besides online discourse that such women can’t even participate in because they aren’t even allowed to!!!

[raphael-angele]

It's Pride Month and I am an Aromantic Asexual

This is one of the experiences I went through as an AroAce.

Basically the entirety of my circle of friends is composed of LGBTQ+ people. My best friend (Aliyah) is bisexual but prefers women, Yangji is gay (mlm) and just came out (edited cuz i posted this saying he was Bi, preferring men but he just came out on FB). And my other best friend (Max) is also bi. There are like...2 or 3 people who are straight, the rest of us is bisexual or gay, excluding me, who's the only one who is AroAce. And I only came out as Ace when I was in around Grade 10 and I realized I was Aro around November of last year.

I went out some time ago with my friends and we went to Yangji's house cuz it's his birthday. And naturally, when you're invited to someone's birthday party, you get to meet people who you've never met. Some of those people were of our classmates from Junior High. (In my country, Grade 7-10 is Junior High. 11-12 is Senior High. I just finished Grade 11.)

One of them is Mika (she/her). Now, Mika is pansexual. And we were only classmates in Grade 7. We were different classes from 8-10 but still saw each other every now and then. This info is somehow relevant to the story.

At some point of the event, we were all in Yangji's room and we somehow got into the topic of LGBTQ+. Then Mika pointed out how gay our friend group is. We laughed it off cuz it's true. Then she said something about guys and sex and relationships. And I, being a snarky person at times, said that I couldn't really relate. Here's how our convo turned out

Mika: Wdym?

Me, realizing she doesn't know: Oh, yeah. I'm AroAce.

Mika: Huh?

Me: Aromantic Asexual.

Mika: I thought you were straight.

Me: So did I, but apparently not.

Mika: Doesn't aromantic mean you can't fall in love?

Me: Technically, yes.

Mika: O, so why do you say you're aromantic? You had a crush on Sam right?

Sam is a friend of mine that I was really close to cuz I saw him as a brotherly figure.

Me: No, I didn't have a crush on him. I mean, I was clingy and all but that's it.

Mika: That's not what I know.

Me: Well, what you know is wrong.

This is where it got a little heated

Mika: JD said you had a crush on Joaquin and Duke when you were in Elementary.

JD is an old classmate from Elem who went to the same school as me in HS. Joaquin was a friend from high school prep class. Duke is an elem classmate.

Me: Uh, no. I was just really close with them. I had a pick me girl phase so...

Mika: No, you definitely had a crush on them.

Me: And that's exactly how I found out I'm Aromantic.

Max: What do you mean?

Me: I mean, I found out I'm aromantic cuz when I looked back at my "crushes" I realized that they weren't really my crushes and that I never felt anything for them more than being a sister figure. And the only reason I admitted that they're my crush is because I'm tired of everyone telling me, "Hey, you have a crush on him, don't you?" "You like him, right?" "Don't deny it, you have a crush"

Cuz it's true. The only reason I had "crushes" is because people kept on forcing me to admit that I like that person. I gave in to the pressure of calling them my crush. Also, I only had like, 3 "crushes" my whole life. I'm freaking 17 now. I never even had a fictional crush, despite how much I like fictional characters more than real people.

---As for being Ace---

Most instances where I was questioned for being Asexual, it's either people telling me I can't be Ace cuz being Ace isn't real since everyone has sexual desires or people asking me how I know I'm Ace when I haven't experienced it yet.

First of all, I don't know if I'm entirely Ace, there's a chance that I'm Aegosexual, which means I'm not against the idea of sex just being a part of it which should also explain a lot of things about the second part; I don't wanna have sex cuz of various reasons, reasons I cannot explain in words.

I'm not really sexually repulsed, I like reading smut and sex scenes but actually seeing people do it is a no for me.

But this is only one of the experiences of being aroace. My parents were more than supportive that I'm aroace. My mom was actually grateful cuz it means I wont get pregnant or into any relationships so it saves me the heartbreak. I don't think she fully understands it but hey! she gets the concept... I think...

#pride #aroace #aromantic #ace #asexual #aro #pride month #pride month 2022 #queer #lgbtq #lgbt #bisexual #gay

[blackbird-brewster]

So i have a crush on my super hot, very gay boss, but that can't and won't happen. Like she has a gf and i have a gf and i'm happy with my gf. At least mostly. And i don't want to ruin any of this or jeopardize my carreer. But like... How do i handle all those emotions when all my ADHD brain wants is to hyperfocus on her? Like i know ppl think this is weird when you're kinda obsessed with a person and i don't want her to think i'm weird... ugh...

Hi anon! I saw this on the go the other day but only just remembered to reply now that I'm on the laptop.

Boy, oh boy, do I understand this feeling!!! I'm so glad you sought me out as your chosen agony uncle on this one.

My simple answer is: it's just gonna be weird for a while, and you just have to wait it out. Which I *know* sucks!!! I've been there multiple times, it HURTS and it sucks because in that situation, you just have to suffer alone until the hyperfocus beast releases you.

I'd never actually thought about this feeling as being hyperfocus until now, so THANK YOU for opening my eyes to something that's SO obvious. (I'm also ADHD + Autistic and this viewpoint just helped me grant myself forgiveness for old crushes!)

I once became hyper-focus obsessed with my manager too, except she was a cishet married woman. When we were drunk once (small place, there were ten of us total, we always hung out) she told me how the same night she met her husband (they were teenage sweethearts) -- she'd slept with her best friend. Drunk teenage party, she hooked up with her best friend. Classic tale.

I, a Known Homosexual, thought 'holy shit -- she's like...actually some flavour of queer?!'. I already had a crush on her, mostly from a 'Hun, your husband is so bland and I could do you so much better.' sort of way. But once I heard she'd slept with her best friend, I was like 'oh god -- this could actually be A Thing!!!!'

I was so utterly obsessed with her, to BEYOND an embarrassing way, thought I was fully in love with her. I analysed every single moment of conversation, searching for subtext, and assigning my own to further my hyperfocus. It was a very wild handful of months. (My partner was still only my bff at the time, and they had to watch all of this unfold while cringing at me -- and yet, they still got together with me after!)

So basically, this went on for AGES. It was literally agony to go to work, bc I was so obsessed with this woman and I was fully convinced she had SOME type of feelings for me. She HAD to, after all these micro-convos and looks and whatever else I assigned meaning to --

She ended up quitting her job, me and another queer co-worker took her out drinking in celebration. That night the three of us got to talking about sexuality, because other co-worker was in her first queer relationship and hadn't previously identified as queer up until then -- and I was like 'Well (manager), you've slept with a woman. You're part of the club!" and she was like "Uhhhh, WHAT?????" and I said "Your best friend! The night you met (husband!)"

Yeah -- she slept with her MALE best friend.

And just like that -- my hyperfocus lifted and I went 'Oh god, I've been so obsessed with this woman and she's just like sooooo str8.'

Different from you when the person in question is actually queer -- but, I guess what I'm saying is -- there will eventually come a time when the hyperfixation lifts just as quickly as it set in and until then, just try and keep your chin up and ride it out.

My ask box is always open if you want to vent about it -- I know how hard this situation is when you don't have anyone to talk to about it. Love you Anon, sorry you're in the thick of it right now. It will get better <3

#anon #reply post #about me 2k23 #lord that was A Weird Time for me #cannot believe Doom Them watched that unfold live and STILL wanted to date me afterwards lmao #Code name jupiter #hot boss saga

[ch4nb4ng]

Evil Roommate

pairing: leeknow x afab!reader, roommates enemies to lovers

warnings: softdom!lino, cheating (mentioned), making out, grinding, oral (f receiving), fingering penetration, cum play (?), praise

requested : yes!

word count 6.2k

summary: the new roommate was a handful. lazy, disrespectful, arrogant, and a whole bunch of other negative things. but wow, you were sexually frustrated and he, well, attractive, was an understatement.

“Can you actually like, wash your kitchen utensils when you're done using them?”

The amount of huffing and puffing you have heard from your new roommate in the past two weeks was ridiculous. If you had a dollar for every time he had gone against anything you had politely asked for, you would be rich by now, and definitely stable enough to move out and away from him.

“I will,” he mumbled, mouth stuffed with half of the carrot he was chewing on, very loudly, “can I not enjoy my food first?”

“No,” you replied without hesitation, giving the fakest of smiles in return, “you should do it before you eat.”

Another eye roll from Minho was like water off a duck’s back.

“I'd also appreciate it if you didn’t talk to me with your mouth full of food either.”

“What the fuck is your problem?”

You coughed, turning on your hills to face a very unimpressed roommate. His stare was eye shattering. Yes, he was very, no, extremely good looking. However, every single thing that made up his personality could not be more different to you. Sloppy, messy, lazy. Took no responsibility for any of his actions, especially the high pitch noises (that obviously were not his) you would hear from his room in the early hours of the morning. You would pinch your pillow together, praying extremely hard that the noise would stop, and by the time it did, you would get maybe 2, 3 hours of sleep. College was becoming tiring, not only from staying up to complete assessments, but the lewd noises you could hear from at least 2 people in his room. Your blunt attitude towards Minho’s unhygienic and disrespectful habits were definitely justified.

“What are you talking about?”

“Why do you nitpick everything I do?”

Your jaw dropped, completely dumbfounded.

“Me? Nitpicking you? Please,” you scoffed, “you don't clean up after yourself ever, you leave your dirty clothes everywhere, and don't even get me started on the fact that I barely get any sleep because of your wild sex adventures with other people that occur almost every weeknight, when you know I have to wake up early to go to class next day.”

A combination of frustration and exhaustion could be heard through the harshness of each breath. The smirk that appeared on his face was absolutely punch worthy. What on earth was there to be so cocky of?

“My wild sex adventures,” he paused taking a bite of the dreaded carrot, “please, tell me more about my wild sex adventures.”

His tongue was now obviously pressed against his cheek, a devil coated smile still very apparent on his face. The longer he was looking at you like that, the hotter your cheeks became. Pure anger began to course through you; all he had to do was sit there and look pretty. It was definitely enough for you to get the green light to slap him across the face.

“Shut the fuck up,” you hissed, “I don’t need to explain how I can hear them moaning your name every night, or the banging I hear from wall to-”

“Hmm,” he hummed, “you seem to be listening very well.”

Distracted by your anger for a brief moment, you gasped suddenly, feeling Minho’s fingertips at your sides. You turned around, swatting his hands away, giving him that slap that you felt you had earned across the face.

“Who the fuck said you could touch me?

“Did you just fucking slap me?”

“Yes I fucking did,” you spat, “what do you take me for?”

“You know what you’re right, but you walk around here with a stick up your ass. I hear you on the phone to your friends, complaining about how you don't get any action from anyone.”

You stood there in disbelief. “So you’ve been eavesdropping on my convos as well?”

“Well it’s kind of hard not to hear, you know, the walls in this house are kind of thin.”

Your jaw clenched, his eyebrows furrowed, the conversation was at a stand still.

“Can you get to the point please?”

“I sure can sweetheart,” the name sending a shiver down your spine, “if you're that sexually frustrated, go and do something about it instead of taking it out on me?”

A laugh that you didn't even know you were capable of bellowed from your chest. You stumbled back, grabbing onto stool behind the bench for support.

“Me? Sexually frustrated? Please,” you huffed, “I’m not sexually frustrated, and it definitely has nothing to do with you.”

Another scoff escaped your lips as you shuffled back to your room. Closing the door behind you, a heavy sigh came from your chest as you sat on the edge of your bed. How on earth was he able to read you like that? So well and so accurate? It was all you could think about, not to mention the fact that it was also night time simultaneously.

You let your body fall onto your bed sheets. The feeling of restlessness was consuming your body. As you crawled into bed, you looked straight into the ceiling. Why were you thinking about his words so much? Were you really taking it out on him? You shook your head, mentally slapping yourself for even considering the thought.

Minho was a lazy slob who was extremely inconsiderate of others, especially you. But why was the thought of his fingers on your sides becoming the main source of agitation.? The silence of your thoughts was deafening, but they were easily interrupted as soon as you heard the door open, a high pitched voice followed what felt like the most ludicrous creek you had ever heard. ‘I should really put some oil on the door huh?’ You paused for a couple of seconds, this time physically face palming yourself for the dumb excuse you had made to see who he had decided to bring over to accompany him tonight. Legs completely ignoring your brain, you were out of bed, hand twisting the knob and peeking a look at the poor girl that would be subjected to Minho’s torture tonight. Tip toeing out of the doorway, you kept the weight of a feather on your toes, making yourself as invisible as possible.

“Y/n?”

Your pink panther stance of attempted deception looked utterly ridiculous and not sly at all was extremely confusing to the two. You quickly relaxed into a normal stance, the fakest of smiles coming across your face as you see who it is he brought home to have his way with.

“Chaeyeon… heyyy,” you lingered, “I didn’t know you were coming over.”

You would have been happy with literally anyone else. But Chaeyeon? Chaeyeon? It’s like she was your number one arch rival. Minho knew how much you hated her, yet he still let her come over. Everything about her you could not stand, not to mention the fact that she home wrecked your last serious relationship. Even though it was a while ago, you can forgive but not forget, her face being a constant reminder of your hurtful past.

“Oh hey Y/N,” she almost signed, her amount of excitement to see you matching yours, “I didn’t know you lived here.”

The arm he had around her waist made you sick.

“There’s a lot of things you don't know about me,” you mumbled, foot swaying back and forth, eyes focused on said foot.

“Okay, so you guys have had a little reunion,” Minho interrupted. Anything would have been better to break the awkward silence than his sarcastic comments, “we’re gonna go to my room now.”

“NO!” you interjected, covering the hallway with every bit of your being, “I mean, what’s the rush huh? Changbin is coming over as well.”

You paused, Minho’s face clearly cussing you out if yelling was inappropriate at this current moment.

“Uh no thanks Y/N-”

“We should all hang out!”

The excitement coming from your voice was so inauthentic, it was hard to miss.

“Yeah! Let’s all hang out,” you walked behind them, placing a hand on each of their backs and you hurried them to the couch, “I’ll get some beers in the fridge.”

“I actually only drink vodka,” Chaeyeon yawns, obnoxiously twirling her hair, her other hand aggravatingly high on his thigh.

“Oh that’s totally fine,” you gritted through tightly clenched teeth, “we have a bottle in the fridge, I’ll grab that for you as well.”

You scuffled back over to the fridge, mentally cursing yourself as you grabbed the necessary beverages. The confusion you were giving yourself about why you were putting in so much effort to spend time with the two people you literally hated more than anything was mind baffling

“So,” you began again, passing a Corona to Minho, a glass to Chaeyeon, “how have you been finding your course so far?”

You sat the Smirnoff and Orange juice on the table. Yes, you were being nice, but not nice enough to pour the drink for this bitch.

“Oh it was so great,” she smiled, “Jisung and I were living together, it was, well, a dream really.”

The feeling of your nails became prominent in your fists as your fingers caved in. The mention of his name was enough to make you see red, let alone the idea of them being happily together. The itch of your eye begging to roll was becoming too prominent, so much that you had to get up and walk away for a second. You stood up abruptly, confusion etched into Minho’s features. You didn’t want to make this a big deal, but the fact that she continued to gloat about it, long after you stopped listening was enough to reach your breaking point.

“I think I heard my phone ringing from my room, it must be Changbin.”

“I don't think I hear anything,” Minho smirked, plastering his lips on the edge of the bottle. The way his lips wrapped around the tip of the warm glass was something you ‘accidentally’ became fixated on. You puffed your cheeks, storming to your room and somewhat aggressively shutting the door behind you. Scrambling for your phone on the bedside table, you panicked, unclear mind as you scrolled through your phone contacts. You paused, an inducing amount of oxygen filling up your lungs. It did little to calm the irritated tingling sensation in your fingers.

Changbin’s name had finally popped up on your phone after what had felt like a lifetime.

“Hello?”

His voice was husky, guilt panging your chest as you realsied you had probably woken him up from his not very often deep slumber.

“Changbin,” you gasped, “you know how much I love you right?”

“What do you need me to do?”

You snickered at his words. He had been your friend for too long to know that those words would never be said unless you needed something.

“Can you come over,” you pleaded, “Chaeyeon is here with Minho because he invited her over late at night, and I told them you were coming over?”

“Jesus Y/n,” Changbin sighed, a playful chuckle tickling your cheek, “so you want me to come over and make Minho jealous?”

“Wait no wtf,” you jumbled, “make Minho jealous? I just want you to flirt with me and Chaeyeon so she leaves.”

“Mhm yeah,” he chuckled once more, voice laced with sarcasm as he spoke, “I’ll come over, but if you don't sleep with him by the end of the night, I’m gonna be extremely disappointed.”

“Yeah okay whatever just get your ass over here now.”

And with that you abruptly ended the phone call, Changbin giving you no peace of mind. Were you this easy to read by everybody? A frustrated sigh exploded from your chest. The games your head and your heart were playing with were helping you come to no resolution. You sat on your bed, thoughts were running crazy. Now would be a really great time to just put on Netflix and curl into bed, have some snacks and fall asleep, chip trail on ur chest to be found in the morning.

You were interrupted by the very loud knock on the door. Sprinting like your life depended on it, you were relieved. Seeing Changbin’s face had never before given you so much joy.

“Changbin,” you shouted, wrapping your arms around him in a tight embrace.

“Y/n what are you doing-”

“Shut up and go along with it,” you mumbled into his chest, letting up, but still keeping your body tightly wounded against his. Minho’s jaw became clenched, or were you just imagining things?

Regardless of what it was, your brain quickly shifted to the way Chaeyeon was eyeing Changbin up and down, almost like it was the first time she had ever seen an attractive male. ‘She definitely wasn’t looking at Minho like that when he walked in’ you thought, an unconscious smirk coming to mouth. You bit down on your bottom lip, an extremely poor attempt at masking the satisfaction of your goal being achieved so easily. One step closer to kicking her out, for good, because there was no way you weren’t talking to Minho after this about making an explicit declaration of her abandonment from this house.

“Minho,” he smiled, earning a nod, “Chaeyeon,” he smirked, an almost gag spilling out of your mouth.

“Changbin,” she followed, repeating his smirk, “long time no see.”

She gulped, engulfing a large sip of alcohol into her wicked mouth.

“Let’s play a game!”

“A game,” you questioned, raising an eyebrow, “why would we play-”

“I think that’s a great idea!”

You turned to look at him, a puzzled expression still very apparent on your facial features.

“Get the vodka out from the fridge, and let’s get started.”

***

Two bottles of vodka down, and what looked like 8 bottles of Corona sitting empty on the table, the games that were being played were becoming more difficult to comprehend. Sound of giggle and laughter constantly filled the room as everyone slowly began to lose their minds to the intoxication.

“O-okay, never have I e-ever, done a sexual act in public.”

Filters of chuckles and laughter filled the room as everyone, but you took a sip.

“What?” she asked, offering you her fake sympathy, “you’ve never done anything like that before?”

“I-I mean,” you stuttered, the look of confusion was evident, “I don’t think I have-”

“Yes you have.”

All eyes were snapped open and pressing into Minho’s skull as he began to converse.

“Pfft, no I have not,” you scoffed, taking another swig. An eye roll left came from Minho, followed by a sound of what seemed to be disgust as he shot gunned his current bottle.

“Yes you have,” he nagged, playfully hitting your shoulder, “I saw you.”

Complete silence fell over the room as he words lingered in the air. You genuinely had no idea what he was talking about.The feeling of the room had suddenly changed. His eyes became soft, fixated on nothing but the way your body slumped against the rough material of the couch.

Your mind began to drift. Thoughts floating into earlier scenes of the night. The closeness of his breath fanning your neck ever so softly, palms spread across your hips. The idea of marks on you swimming into your head. God that would feel so good. Letting him grab you and throw you onto his bed. Climbing up your frame, starting from the bottom of your legs, keeping a tight grip on your inner thighs. The feeling of faint lips stealing every inch of your being, tantalisingly hitting every, single, spot, finally reaching your-

“Y/N? Y/N!”

The feeling of Changbin's shaking your shoulders definitely brought you back to reality. His hands did feel nice, but they weren’t the ones you were longing for. Your head was thrown back, disbelief filling you as your mind continued to fill the gutter.

“When?”

As you moved closer, you giggled, placing your finger tip across his knee. You let them dance, index fingers tapping away at the skin you so desperately wanted to see in this moment.

“Mr. Lee Minho, when did you see me?”

“I’m not saying it here in front of-”

“Who? Chaeyeon?”

Your prowling continued, bodies even closer as you slowly began to climb him like an inanimate object. This would have been completely awkward sober. Nothing about this was romantic in the slightest. To an outsider, or Changbin and Chaeyeon, you were right there, situated across Minho’s lap. It wasn’t quite a straddle, it was just something. They both stayed quiet, paying little attention to your animalistic act, already focused on feeling each other up. Or so you assumed, seeing as they didn’t say anything. All that was heard was the sound of the front door. You snapped your head for a quick moment, eyes scanning the emptiness the room suddenly felt.

“It was in the car.”

Minho’s words felt heavy, like he had more to say.

“The car?”

You were taken aback, face moving away from the closeness of his. Part of your brain clicked, remembering exactly what he was talking about. With Jisung. The memory of hurt was quickly forgotten as the feeling of Minho’s palms spread across your body was bringing you to life. The adrenaline came all at once. Your mind was telling you to move away, but your body was saying something else, affirming it’s position.

Minho was leaning in, barely any spaces between the two as his fingertips began to spread lower and lower, firmly gripping either side of your ass as he moved you closer. A helpless whimper escaped your lips as you felt your legs tighten, heat running down to your core, quickly. What the fuck was happening right now?

“You were on top of him,” he whispered, pulling your hips against him once more, “just like this.”

“F-fuck,” was all that managed to slip out of your lips. This was becoming difficult. So difficult to say no and move away. You knew it was the right thing to do. Things would just be awkward and you could go back to hating him. No matter how much you tried, how much you wanted to, you were powerless. Every fiber of your being was being given up to him. You leaned in closer, foreheads now touching as you looked at him. His gaze was anything but lacklustre as his jaw became tense. His body began to ache simultaneously with yours. The pressure was becoming too much.

“Do you want this?”

“What?”

A small whine escaped you at the loss of his tips gripping your body. They quickly made their way to either side of your face. Your body began to rock back and forth on it’s own. You had become desperate for any sort of friction that you could create.

“I said, do you want this?”

“Do you?”

His expression made you nervous. It was hard to read. All you could see was the black substance of his pupils enlarge, increasing in diameter by the second. Almost like a supernatural being was possessing him.

“Fuck,” you grunted, wrapping your hands around his neck to steady yourself on top of him, “you’re making it hard to say no.”

Things were already becoming hazy the longer you stayed. A huff of frustration came from him as he was giving all his effort not to give into the way you were rubbing your dampening heat against him. It was like a drug he could not refuse.

“Kiss me if you want me.”

He huffed, the edge of his lips just barely brushing against the tip of your nose.

“Kiss me, and give me the green light.”

You waited a moment, any part of your brain that wasn't concentrated solely on his palms digging into your sides trying to reason. You looked at him once more. His eyes, nose, lips. His lips.

“Fuck it.”

He was quick to work, pushing you down to lie flat against the couch. A small kiss to your lips was felt as he pulled away, lifting his arms up and throwing his shirt to the floor at Usain Bolt pace. The smirk on your face was too easy for him not to see.

“You like what you fucking see don’t you?”

“Just shut the fuck up and kiss me.”

Of course. Of course he was still that arrogant cocky motherfucker that you could not stand. The one who never cleaned up after himself. Or took too long in the shower for the hot water to run out. All of these evil perceptions you had of your roommate were disappearing as his lips were gently placed onto yours. It was a little too slow for your liking, but it was deep. Boy, was it deep. Each movement of his tongue was made with so much precision as he lowered himself onto you. His thighs were clenched, a soft groan could be heard against his lips as his groin pressed into you. Holy fuck, were you really doing this? It was so wrong. Everything in the world was saying to stop, stop this.

“Mm- wait,” you paused your hands on his chest to push him away, “wait.”

A flash of panic waved over his eyes as he quickly jumped off of you, face palming the floor.

“What’s wrong? Did I do something wrong? Did I hurt you? Are you-”

“I’m fine,” you interjected, giggling at the never been seen care and caution he had for you, “I just don’t think we should do this.”

“Oh,” was all he could say. You kept your gaze lowered; looking at him would have made you feel so guilty. The feeling of regret started to seep into your bones, but you couldn't tell: was it regret of this ever happening, or was it regret from stopping? Your head was too muddled to even attempt to comprehend what had just appended. The only sound that could be heard was your scuffed footsteps, quickly pacing back to your room and shutting the door, hard. The loudest sigh known to earth could be heard on the opposite side of the room as you let your body collapse. The ache between your legs was growing by the second; and as much as you tried to suppress the feeling of Minho’s lips on yours, fingertips dragging along your sides. No. It was much easier this way. Setting boundaries as roommates seemed to be a better idea for the long run.

But the long run was boring. You would both have to pretend that this never happened. Having other people over for sexual purposes would just be awkward now; the more you thought about it, the realisation, and the jealousy hit that you had already crossed said boundary. And maybe that’s why your feet had dragged you to the front of his bedroom door. How the fuck did you get here? You brought your knuckles to the wooden frame, door becoming slightly ajar as you gently knocked. Minho’s snapped his head around, covering himself quickly as you walked in. You cocked your eyebrow, a face of confusion apparent on your face.

“What are you doing?”

“Nothing,” he huffed, turning back to his previous position, “what do you want?”

You wanted to just walk out. Mind your business and just leave. But it was hard, quite literally. The imprint of what you assumed to be Minho’s naked lower half painfully pressing into the sheer sheets that was covering him. He paid you no more attention, giving you all the power to initiate whatever it is you wanted to initiate. You slowly crept in beside him, nuzzling your head into the back of his neck as he groaned in annoyance.

“Y/n, what the fuck are you doing in my bed?”

“Hmm, I think I changed my mind,” you whispered, reaching around to grab him. A blunt hiss escaped Minho’s lips as your action made him turn around. He was so close to you now. So close that you could feel his breath spreading across your left cheek.

“Are you being serious right now?”

The look on his face was unimpressed to say the least.

“Yeah, I mean,” your voice was calm as your hand began to take flight, sliding down to the base of his shaft, “we’ve already crossed the line, let’s go a little further.”

“Oh yeah?” His voice was dripping with sarcasm. He grabbed you by the wrist that was currently on him, pulling it away and climbing on top of you. Both hands now leaving his side, securely attached onto both wrists as he pinned them down above your head. Nose clumsily tickling yours as he reattached his lips to yours. The feeling of his lips was much softer and calmer than before, almost like he was protecting you. Wanting to keep the moment so delicate, though the way his bare hips involuntarily grinding against your clothed core was far from it. A soft whimper came from your lips, vibrating against his. A soft chuckle was heard from Minho as he pulled away; it made you nervous. To be more specific, the way that arrogant, mischievous smirk that you knew all too well was spread across his face.

“You’re so responsive to me,” he growled, quickly planting another one on your lips before sliding down to your jaw, then your neck, stopping at your chest. Nothing needed to be said as you quickly discarded your shirt, silently thanking your past self for not wearing any underneath. Minho situated himself in front of your now bare chest, waist sitting against your heart as he took one nipple into his mouth, fingers enclosing around the other. A loud whine left your lips, back arching in reaction to him. He looked up, satisfied filling his body as you weren’t able to return his gaze, head already rolled all the way back as he continued his playful assault.

“It’s so cute,” he mumbled between kisses, “so responsive and I’ve barely done anything.”

His lips travelled down the center of your stomach, dipping dangerously closer to where you wanted him most. His continuous rhythm between kisses was immaculate. Any of the incoherent sounds you made, or the crude remarks he made were left unsaid.

“Fuck,” you hissed, painfully throbbing at the way Minho played with the waistband of your panties.

“Not fun to be teased y/n,’ he paused, making sure you were looking at him, “is it.”

A pang of guilt hit your chest for a moment. I mean, it’s not like you did it on purpose, right?

“Minho I’m-”

“Save it,” he scoffs, “whether you did it on purpose, or not, I’m not gonna let you have it so easily.”

His fingers stopped their performance across your hips, continuing a little lower than before. The smirk came to his lips once more, index finger running down your slit. The friction was fierce, but not fierce enough. You wanted, no, you needed more. All he could do was smile at your mercy.

“So fun to tease darling, but you’re gonna have to be more vocal if you want these panties off.”

“Minho please,” you whined, “for fucks sake.”

You bucked your hips forward, desperate for any more contact from the bare minimum he was giving you.

“That doesn’t sound very nice to me.”

“Minho please, please, please,” you whispered, voice becoming super weak, “fuck me, or finger me, anything please, I need to feel you.”

“Now that’s more like it,” he smiled, finally pulling your panties down. You have never lifted your hips faster in your life. The vulnerability of your naked body was somewhat confronting, but your brain was so fogged out from the immense teasing, you cared little.

“Fuck,” he gasped, spreading you effortlessly with two fingers, “you’re so wet for me, aren't you?”

The heat in your cheeks rose as you became embarrassed at his words. Minho didn’t know this, but feeling humiliated was something that could make you cum on the spot. Words intended for insult went through your ears and straight down to the core, the heat becoming like an intense fire igniting in your body as one of his hands moved along your inner thigh, the other gently beginning to circle around where you needed him most.

“Oh my god,” you gasped, “oh my god Minho please, more.” Your voice was becoming needier by the second, but the longer it went on, the less you seemed to care. His tongue was now a factor coming into play, small kitty licks lapping your clit at a suddenly fast pace. Your legs are already trembling, but Minho does more to appease, hooking his arms under and around your thighs to stop the flustered look on your face. It was confronting how quickly he was getting you to your high.

“Please,” you sighed, eyes hazed as you attempted to look down at the way his tongue was on you. The combination of him sucking on your clit, then pushing it through your entrance almost made you scream. However, the noises that came from your mouth were small, heavy pants, progressively getting louder and louder the tighter the knot in your stomach became.

“Do you wanna cum princess?” His voice was whiny, mocking the tone you had used earlier. You nodded ferociously, knowing any attempt to speak would come out horse or just broken.

“Such a good girl,” he purred, replacing his tongue with two fingers, “but if you want to cum, you’re gonna have to beg for it once more.”

“You’re such a fucking dick,” you groaned, an attempt of grinding your center onto Minho’s fingers failing miserably, “you’re being so unfair.”

“I’m unfair?” he scoffed, beginning his digits back to a bare minimum pace, “you’re the one

who was teasing me all night. I know Changbin is like, your best friend so there was no chance you were bringing him back to fuck him. Then you start to kiss me, hard and fast may I add, AND THEN ! you aren’t sure and you leave me to pretend like nothing happened.”

There was no witty comeback you could say in response because he was right. You were the one who has done the teasing for most of the night.

“You looked so fucked out right now baby,” his tone coming back to a calming medium, “begging for me to make you cum, which I can do right now,” he paused, climbing back to your side, lifting your left leg to continue his easy access to ur clit, “or you can beg even more to have my cock inside of you. The choice is yours.” You swallowed, hard. How could he say something so filthy? Out of all the times you had heard him bring other girls over, he would never talk like this. It was always so nice and calm, full of praise and compassion. Maybe they didn’t act like cock teases and let him just have what he wanted.

“C-cock,” you mumbled, pushing your backside against his now pulsating cock, “please give your cock sir.”

“Ooo sir, I like that one, but you’re gonna have to do more if you want me to fill you up princess.”

Words were becoming extremely hard to not only facilitate in your mind, but put them on your tongue and get out to him. He knew this. He knew your were on the brink of collapsing in cum, but the torture was too entertaining for him nonetheless. Although you're frustrated with him was increasing, you couldn’t lie to yourself that the way he was using you like a sex toy was turning you on. After being up his ass so long with rules around the house and how you wanted things done, it was nice to finally let go. Submit to his rules instead of yours.

“P-please Minho, sir’ you panted, head turning to look at the sadistic face of enjoyment he was having from this, “I’ll do anything, a-anything to have your cock inside of me right now.”

“Anything?”

“Anything.”

“Okay then tomorrow morning, you have to make me breakfast, AND wash my dishes.”

“Seriously,” you panted, “that’s what you're thinking about right now?”

“You said anything.” He shrugged, suddenly taking his fingers away from your dripping core. A gasp of disappointment came to your lips at the loss of delicious contact. Minho sat up, ducking under your leg, and positioning himself right back to where he was previously. However, this time, he was on his knees. Although you were touching it before, you really hadn't had a chance to look at how big it was: way more than what you expected. He stroked himself a couple of times, making sure not to get carried away with himself before he pushed it between your folds, letting his pre-cum mix with your juices. He slowly descended into you. Jaws dropping simultaneously, you gasped. The way he was stretching you out did burn a little bit, but once he was fully inside, your eyes rolled to the back of your head. Minho waited until the look of slight discomfort faded from your features.

“Are you okay?”

You nodded, biting down on your bottom lip and he slowly pulled himself back out. He kept a consistent, yet slow pace as leaned in closer to you. He was now hovering over, letting his face become buried into the middle of your breasts. The feeling was so immaculate, you were desperate to cling onto something for support.

“Dig them into me,” he groaned, strangling his vocal cords, “dig your nails into my back and scratch me like your life fucking depends on it.”

Perfect. You did as he pleased, a loud moan of his name wrestling from your lips as you felt the red marks appear on his backside. The pressure from before was already building in your stomach again, and he could tell. The way you were super tight for him was one, but the way you were now clenching around him was another. He knew he wouldn’t last much longer if you kept doing that.

“Fuck,” was all you could manage to say, a deep grin plastered on his face.

“You’re close aren't you,” he cooed, attaching his lips to your neck, “talk to me baby, tell me what you're feeling.

“Mhm, yeah, fuck I’m so close baby. H-Harder.”

The pitch of your tone was becoming whinier by the second. To add to that, the way you became confused, as if Minho was a vampire, because the way he was sucking on your neck was kind of painful. Nevertheless, you relished in it, knowing too well that a very, very dark mark would replace his mouth. The idea of him showing his possession of you, knowing that he finally won you over did not make you happy, nonetheless, you were too fucked out to care.

Your legs were now pushed all the way back, pace fastening by the minute, allowing Minho to push even deeper into you. And that was it. Right there, the spot you had never even known was even there.

“Ah fuck!” Your moan was loud this time, completely unable to control anything. The smirk, in combination with the satisfied growl that left his lips was a face of pure ecstasy as he realised that he had finally hit your G-spot.

“Fuck that feels so fucking good,” Minho grumbled, “are you close? Because I think I’m gonna cum.”

It was like your stomach was an orchestra. Minho’s words were the conductor, completely controlling how close you were to your release.

“Y-yes,” you cried, “I’m gonna cum so hard right now.”

“You wanna cum baby?”

“Yeah.”

“You wanna cum right now?”

“Yes baby,” you pouted, a perplexity of sounds escaping your lips, completely out of your control.

“Cum on my cock princess,” Minho whispered through what sounded to be like pained groans, “be a good girl and cum with me inside of you.”

And there it was, like it was on queue as your body completely flopped, legs shaking and a string of lewd curse words fell from your lips. The way your pussy clenched around him was enough to make him pull out, spilling into the dip of your stomach. A loud breath of what seemed to be exhaustion fell from his lips. Your eyes were previously screwed so shut, it hurt when you opened them again, sensitive to the light.

“Fuck,” you both cursed simultaneously, making one another giggle. Minho fell to your left side, flat on his back as he invited you to scooch over next to him. Face pressed against his chest, fingers playfully dragging up and down his torso. For some reason, he felt so safe and secure at this moment. Almost forgetting how he literally just fucked you into oblivion, your eyelids become heavy. It wasn’t until Minho spoke that you were revived from your alternate state of consciousness once more.

“I didn’t know you had it in you.” His voice sounded genuinely surprised, unsure if you should be offended or not. You looked up at him, quickly pressing a kiss to his cheek. He wasn’t sure how to react, but the dark shade tinting his face right now said enough.

“Please,” you scoffed, “You did me good, but was that the best you can do?”

He ran his tongue across his bottom lip, but down on it after, “Is that a challenge?”

You said nothing, instead sitting up and pushing your legs on either side of his hips. A soft moan escaped his lips as he felt your still dripping heat sitting on the base of him.

“Why don’t you find out and see?”

#lee minho #minho #leeknow #stray kids #lino #lee minho smut #skz smut #leeknow scenario #stray kids smut #stray kids scenario #dom leeknow #dom lee minho #dom lino #lino smut #ch4nb4ng

[yourflxnnelcure]

its me it's cam im asking not so anonymously that you do how last Legacy characters would react to an ace mc bc. i crave validation or something idk

the way i sprinted to do this for u (also ur so funny bye u could’ve texted me🙄‼️)

Felix:

he’s so respectful it makes me want to vomit honestly

so careful with your boundaries ,,, kissing? great! you don’t wanna do that? thats great too!

is such a big fan of cuddles honestly ,, will happily lay in bed and cuddle with you forever or read to you while you play with his hair

he’s def the most educated when it comes to this sort of thing (i like to hc that he’s on the ace spectrum but that is a discussion for another time)

has lengthy convos with you about what you’re comfortable with and makes sure to check before doing literally anything because we demand consent in every aspect in this house

finds every book he can about asexuality because research makes him comfortable and confident and he dosent want to say anything that could upset you

felix can embroider because i say so ,, when you explain pride flags to him mans goes wacky and embroiders little ace flags into your sweater cuffs

Sage:

he’s a little confused but he’s got the right spirit ‼️

is also very careful with your boundaries ,, he’s terrified he’s gonna misunderstand or mess something up

despite him being a sexual person he’s fine in a relationship with no sexual aspect,, he’s content to curl up by the fireplace with you and have you braid his hair while he purrs happily

he dosent really understand when you first tell him because he’s never met someone who’s ace before (he probably has but yknow ,, no one’s ever explicitly told him so)

but he asks Felix about it and tries to figure out from you and your own experience how to best approach things

the minute someone makes a sexual comment about you he gets all pissy and angry even if you’re like dude ,, calm down im fine he’s just 😡💪no

truly a dumb hunk man who has no thoughts behind his eyes but loves his partner no matter what

Anisa:

she is an educated icon ,, she probably already sorta knew before you told her but was still super supportive and accepting when you did

she’s very affectionate but in only ways you’re comfortable with,, is a big fan of holding hands and cheek kisses

she’s def the most nonchalant about it

takes to it really quickly tbh ,, like it barely phases her she’s just oh? That’s cool! ok sounds good!

also very protective like sage ,, anyone says anything ? she is buff and will punch them even though she’s normally composed

if you ever express that you feel bad or like you’re disappointing her she holds you and tells you she dosent need that sorta thing to be happy and she adores you and your guys’ relationship

honestly not a whole lot to say for her because she’s perfect tbh ,, never done anything wrong in her life my angel

Rime:

he’s the most like ,, ⁉️ about it

he’s never taken the time to educate himself about this sorta thing because it’s never really came up

he dosent really get what you’re telling him at first but still does his best to be supportive in the moment

he def runs off to Felix confused because wtf does this mean ?? and Felix helps him get it together and learn about it

he apologizes later for not being the best he could be when he reacted and explains he was just confused and he obvi dosent mind that you aren’t interested in sexual stuff

it takes him a bit to get used to it but he’s very supportive even when he puts his foot in his mouth

asks about literally every little thing ,, like he’s just is holding ur hand ok or ?? and ur just 🤨yes Rime that is fine thank you

truly just a bastard man trying his best

#cam cam cam cam!!!!! #fictif #last legacy #fictif last legacy #felix fictif #sage fictif #asks whee #rime fictif #Anisa fictif #my writing #my hcs

[nessinborderland]

Sleepless Nights

Pairing: Cobra x Reader

Genre: Romance/Fluff

Word Count: 2.2k

Summary: Cobra never thought he deserved much in life. All he ever wanted was for his friends to be close and his home to be safe. He fought for it with all he had, but that was it. It almost felt like he was pushing his luck if he asked for much more than that. So he never did. Until you showed up.

Warnings: Smut, Light Angst, Miscommunication, Cobra thinks he's unworthy of love

Notes: This is officially my first High&Low fanfic! Not sure how to feel about it, but I kinda like it. More to come for sure. Tysm to everyone that has been enthusiastic about my passion for H&L lol, love y’all!

Cobra never thought he deserved much in life. All he ever wanted was for his friends to be close and his home to be safe. He fought for it with all he had, but that was it. It almost felt like he was pushing his luck if he asked for much more than that.

So he never did.

Until you showed up. 

It was like the sun itself had entered the diner the first time he met you. You had introduced yourself as Naomi's friend from abroad, and the ease and happiness you radiated almost made him want to greet you with a smile. And then your eyes locked and you grinned at him, and his heart skipped a beat. That's when he started falling for you.

Not that he realized it at that moment.

It took him months of watching you smile and laugh with everyone around him to realize that the butterflies in his stomach meant he was attracted to you, and that the spark of annoyance he felt when he watched a guy speak to you was jealousy. He thought it was only sexual at first, but he soon realized that it was much more than that.

He was taken aback at the realization; it made no sense to him.

You barely spoke to one another. He was sure that you didn't even particularly like him if the way you acted around him was any indicator. You caught him staring once, and the only thing you did was turn your back to him and continue laughing at something Dan said. 

That hurt him more than he cared to admit.

So he tried to bury his feelings for you. Not that anyone would notice any changes in him. He mostly kept to his corner, reading a book or talking with the guys, as quiet and stoic as ever. You being there didn't change that.

Except that he couldn't stop his eyes from wandering to you, or his attention from focusing on you every time he heard you laugh. 

"When are you gonna tell her?" Noboru interrupted his thoughts with a nudge to his shoulder. 

That's when Cobra noticed that the book he was reading had been forgotten in his lap, his eyes now on you as you played darts with Tetsu and Dan. You were smiling at them like he wished you would smile at him. He felt his ears get warm at being caught, shrugging before going back to his book.

"I don't know what you're talking about," was all he said as he pretended to keep reading.

"You can fool everyone else, but I see the way you look at her," Noboru proceeded, almost making him curse his best friend's perceptiveness, "You're not as discreet as you think you are, you know?"

Cobra took a deep breath before closing the book and making a move to stand up. He wasn't in the mood to discuss his crush or to lie to his friend.

"I'm gonna go–"

"She likes you too," those words made him stop in his tracks, before looking back at Noboru. The man was looking at you with a teasing smile pulling at the corner of his lips, "Aren't you curious to know how I know that?"

Cobra glanced at you once more before going back to his seat, arms crossed as he waited for his friend to talk.

"So, I heard Naomi and her talking about you in the kitchen the other day," Noboru started, "She thinks you don't like her because you keep avoiding her, but she definitely has a crush on you."

"Are you sure?" was all Cobra was capable of asking.

"Absolutely," his friend nodded with a chuckle, "She likes your moody ass, for whatever reason."

Cobra gulped as he thought of what you having a crush on him implied. Did that mean that he now had to talk to you about it? Did that mean that you would say yes if he asked you out? What would that even entail? His encounters with women were merely ways for him to relieve stress, nothing romantic about it.

He had no idea of what to do.

So he did the opposite of what he normally did; he ran away.

"Hmm," he grunted in final acknowledgment of his friend's words before standing up, determined to leave the diner as fast as he could, "I'm leaving. There's something I need to do."

He cringed at his own lie, ignoring Noboru's calling and everyone's stare – your stare – on him as he left into the rainy night outside. 

He liked the night. He liked the rain. It allowed him to think in peace as he made his way home, mad at himself. He was a coward, nothing but a sad man undeserving of love. He didn't even know you. He knew nothing about you, and you knew nothing about him.

So why did he care so much? Why did it hearing that you liked him filled his heart with hope?

His phone ringing made him stop under the rain, checking who it was before pressing the red button. He would find a more convincing excuse for Noboru tomorrow. His phone rang again, and again, making him sigh before finally picking up the call.

"Noboru I–"

"C-Cobra?" that was not his friend. He held his breath as he recognized your voice on the other side, "Cobra, are you okay?"

"Why are you calling me?" he didn't mean for his words to sound so harsh, but hearing the worry in your voice made him act defensive – like you had no business having any feelings towards him. He regretted it almost instantly.

"I- I'm sorry," you said before he had the chance to say anything else, "I just noticed you left in a hurry, and Noboru said that I should try and talk to you so… are you okay?"

"I'm fine," he said, "I just had to leave."

"Okay," there was an awkward pause where neither of you said anything. He opened his mouth to finally say something when you said, "Can I- Can I have your number?"

"My number?" he asked, confused.

"Only if you want to!" you rushed to say. That's when he noticed the anxiety in your voice. Was he making you nervous? "You don't have to. But, you know, if you want to talk… I can talk."

He was in bed hours later after speaking with you on the phone. He hadn't been willing to say much else besides letting you have his number, and he regretted it now. He couldn't sleep, too restless to even lay still. It just wouldn't happen for him; not tonight. His head was full of thoughts of you and what-ifs.

What if this was all a misunderstanding?

What if you actually liked him?

What if he couldn't protect you?

What if he hurt you?

What if, what if, what if.

His phone buzzing broke him out of overthinking. He reached for his phone, his heart skipping a beat as he saw a message from an unknown number.

Is this Cobra?

Y/N?

Yes! How're you feeling?

fine. it's 3 AM

Omg, I'm so sorry! Were you asleep?

nah. can't sleep. u? 

Can't either.

He didn't know how to keep the conversation going. Did he even want to? His phone buzzed with a new message before he could think too much about it.

Can I ask you something?

sure

Are you mad at me?

no. why do u ask?

I'm not sure, it just seems that I made you uncomfortable and I would like to apologize if I ever did something to you.

u didn't do anything. i'm just not really the approachable type 

Ahh that makes me more relaxed xD can we start over then? Friends?

Friends. Friends. You wanted to be friends. That was fine by him. He wouldn't mind being friends with you.

do u like me?

are u passing by the diner tomorrow?

I am! Wanna have lunch together? :)

sounds good

See ya tomorrow then! Goodnight <3

A heart emoji. Didn't those mean something? What did it mean? What did any of this mean? He reread your convo one, two, three times, now with one hundred percent certainty that you had asked him out for lunch.

He definitely couldn't fall asleep after that.

He rarely ever felt as nervous as he was then, entering Itokan to be greeted by your smile. He joined you at the table, happy that it was only you two and a few other patrons that barely paid him any mind.

Except for Naomi, that sent him a knowing smile as she got your lunch orders.

"Got some sleep last night?" it was the first thing you asked him as you sat across from each other. He nodded, even though it was a complete lie, and asked you the same, "Not really," you laughed, "Had a lot on my mind."

He hummed, wondering if you were as nervous as he was to meet. If what Noboru said was true, that was definitely a possibility, wasn't it? 

You didn't look nervous at all, though. Not to him, at least. You laughed and smiled and talked like he was the most interesting company on earth, even though he barely said a thing. 

It felt comfortable, though. It felt right.

"You have a really pretty smile, you know?" your statement caught him off guard, and that's when he realized that he was full-on smiling at something you were saying. He felt his ears get red immediately, unsure if he should just accept the compliment or try to figure out what you meant by it.

"Thanks?" he said, unsure, "You're pretty too," he decided to add in a hurry, blushing all over his face at realizing what he had said. Was he ever this awkward? His gang would laugh in his face if they saw him right now.

"Thanks," you said with a laugh. Your reaction made him relax almost instantly, and you were soon back to talking and enjoying your food together.

He had to admit, he could get used to this.

You kissed him first.

You had invited him to your home one night when neither of you could sleep. He didn't think much of it; it wasn't the first time you spent time together, just talking.

But that night was different.

It was just a push of your lips against his, but he wanted more. So he did what he had wanted to do for months and pulled your face closer, consuming your mouth with his. You moaned as he kissed you, pressing your body closer to his, making him feel like he was on fire.

It was intoxicating.

"Bedroom?" you asked once your lips parted for breath. He quickly nodded as he went back to kissing you, now with a newfound passion. 

He couldn't stop himself from kissing down your body as soon as he got you naked, wanting to taste you, to be consumed by your essence. And you let him do it like he hoped you would, moaning his name exactly like you did in his dreams when he was lonely and all he had was his hand and fantasies of you.

But you felt nothing like you did in his dreams. His hand could never compare to the warm tightness of your cunt around him, or how your body shivered and trembled at every thrust of his hips against yours.

"Please don't stop," your begging was music to his ears, "Please, I'm so close."

He did just what you desired.

He didn't stop until you came one, two, three times, cunt clenching around his cock and his name on your lips. He was almost blind from pleasure, wanting to finish but too afraid to do so. Your relationship wouldn't be the same after this, and it scared him.

He thought he passed out when he finally came, moaning and shaking as you held him in your arms. 

"Can I tell you something?" you whispered after you were both exhausted and sore, more than ready for sleep to take you. 

He grunted a yes, burying his face in your hair; he didn't want to face you when you told him you regretted this. You took a deep breath and hugged him closer, pressing your face against his chest.

"I think I'm in love with you."

He froze. He knew that was a possibility. He knew you liked him. He just never expected you to tell him that you loved him. That was… a lot. A lot of things he wasn't sure how to process.

"Are you sure?..." he settled for asking. He needed for you to be sure.

"Y-Yes I'm sure," you rushed to say, looking up at him, "I really like you."

All he could think of doing was kissing you. That was the only thing on his mind at that moment; showing you how he felt without using words he had no idea how to use. You kissed him back just as hard until you were both out of breath.

"Does this mean you like me too?" you whispered against his lips, foreheads pressed together. You giggled when he pecked your lips, hugging you closer.

"Yeah," he said, cheeks hurting from how hard he was smiling, "I like you a lot."

#high and low #high&low #high & low #cobra x reader #cobra #high and low cobra #high&low fanfic #h&l fanfic

[tuiyla]

She'd also be last if we're ranking flirting ability 😌

Okay now I need this ranking. It'd be super hard though.

from another Anon:

Please do an actual ranking of this now😭😭

Alright then, challenge accepted! This is all just imo of course and would probably change tomorrow.

Mike He’s just smooth, you know? A bit dorky at times but an effortlessly cool guy who doesn’t even need to flirt, let’s be honest.

Quinn She just has the vibes, she knows how to work people. Sure she has the looks too but as we see at the end of our list that doesn’t automatically mean one can flirt. Quinn wraps guys around her finger and her hitting on Santana was solid. Would she be smooth with someone she actually really likes? I don’t know about that. (Note: not that she doesn’t like Santana but she only wanted sex that evening:)

Kurt Listen, once he gets over his baby gay phase Kurt’s kinda smooth but more importantly confident and really genuine. Like, he won’t even flirt with someone unless he means it. The kind of heart that he puts into is endearing.

Mercedes Similar to Kurt. Once she grows confident in her own sexuality she just commands attention. She’s more likely to flirt for fun than Kurt is but is still earnest in a way guys find charming. Can you blame them?

Artie Despite starting out as an insecure nerd, following his relationship with Brittany he becomes a player and must have moves if he scores Kitty and all those girls at college. He does well for himself but the trick is to not get too cocky.

Brittany Maybe Brittany doesn’t flirt so much as she very straightforwardly tells the person what she wants. She doesn’t run all the socially required laps because they’re arbitrary but she gets results. She’s charming and has the same effortlessly cool energy that Mike does.

Puck Kinda pains me to put him relatively high because there’s a part of me that doesn’t want to give him credit for this. But hey, Puck does have some game.

Rachel It takes her a while and she needs to remember to not be way too intense but Rachel’s a surprisingly good flirt. I’m talking about sexy NY Rachel of course.

Blaine Blaine can be kinda clueless and I think he’s better when he doesn’t actually “mean” it, like when he’s performing with the Warblers and really living that performer persona. But he does alright, even if he fumbles when he really means it.

Tina We’re entering little or no game territory. Tina still has some game, when directed at the right person but she does better as the one being flirted with.

Finn Thinks he has game and that makes his flirting worse. Best when he leans into the goofiness instead of trying to be a stud jock or whatever.

Sam See I kinda wanna put him higher, at least above Finn but no game Sam is so amusing to me. “Which planet are we on?” He’s lucky he’s so cute but his himbo persona doesn’t always work. Flirting for him usually involves impressions and nerdy references and that’s just not what we would traditionally call bad flirting. But he’s mostly second to last because I need a no game Samtana brotp.

Santana Bless. But OP, I hear some of you say, she was such a maneater in the first two seasons. Well, tumblr peeps, I raise you comphet Santana. When she flirts with women- well, she mostly doesn’t. She’s just a nervous mess of underboob sweat and “can’t remember my locker combo” and “salt sh-shakers”. And also lest we forget her flirting with men included an insult to end every sentence. Her way of asking Finn out was telling him he’s “exhausting to look at” and I bet 50% of her convo with Sam in Comeback is mouth jokes and insults about how uncool he is. She’s just lucky she’s hot.

Rankings are fun lol feel free to send more

#glee asks #glee headcanons #new directions #anon #there are very few fixed points in this but i stand by most of it #glee ranking #silly ranking

[punprincess321]

Yeehan Reddit Chronicles!

(Coles POV)

-

Oh. My. God. This has to be the craziest damn thing I’ve ever gone through… Cherry Blossom thought we should share with you all about what just went down.

So we recently put Tracy in daycare, Cherry Blossom has been needing to attend Cory’s school events which have become super frequent since he joined the PTA and he can’t bring Tracy along so we signed her up in the same daycare that the other PTA moms put their young ones in. On certain occasions when I get home from work I go and pick her up, a couple of weeks ago I went to pick up Tracy and I was stopped by a mom who we’ll call Carla, she asked if I was picking my daughter up for Cherry Blossom and I said I was. I didn’t realize that she thought I was only a friend of my husband at the time.

I kept picking Tracy up every few days and Carla and I would chat, she asked what I did for work and I told her I was a romance novelist, she looked pretty interested and I gave her one of my books just to be nice, my pen name is different from my real name which will be important later on.

Anyway, I continued to talk with Carla now and then, I told her I was married which I thought she understood and we exchanged contact info. We texted and met up for coffee once in a while which was really fun, I thought I had made a friend that wasn’t crazy for once. Two weeks ago I was texting with her and her messages were getting… weird, she was making sexually explicit jokes and being really flirty for some reason. She then sent this string of texts. For context, Carla always called me by my pen name, even though I told her my real name.

I was sitting on the couch with Cherry Blossom and I jumped when I saw the photo, Cherry Blossom asked me what was wrong and I showed him what Carla sent me. We were both shocked and I immediately called Carla and asked what the hell she was doing, I still remember our entire convo:

Me: Carla what the hell was with that picture?! You and I are both married!

Carla: Oh come on Joel~ stop playing dumb, we’ve been seeing each other for weeks now, I can tell you love me~

Me: Carla, those weren’t dates! They were friendly hang outs! Did you seriously think I’d leave my husband for you?!

Carla: HUSBAND!?

Yeah. Carla thought my pen name was my real name and assumed I was married to a woman... The next day Cherry Blossom confronted Carla and told her to stay away from me if she was going to be so inappropriate, apparently her husband was there and Cherry Blossom explained everything to him. He was furious that his wife tried to cheat.

Carla then called me screaming that I pay her a million bucks for breaking up her marriage and “leading her on.” I told her to fuck off, that I thought we were friends and that I never want to see her face again. I hung up and blocked her number, I was honestly really upset because she was a nice woman and I had hoped we’d be good friends but she thought I was flirting...

Everyone found out about what Carla tried to do and the moms all made me feel a lot better and so did some of the dads, we’ve gained lots of new friends so I can forget all about that crazy bitch. :)

#yeehan reddit chronicles #yeehan #hainoon #yeehan child #hainoon child #cole cassidy #hanzo shimada #cassidy x hanzo #hanzo x cassidy #joel morricone #crazy woman #fake texts #reddit

[stomp-that-ho-regard]

Retcon

noun

(in a film, television series, or other fictional work) a piece of new information that imposes a different interpretation on previously described events, typically used to facilitate a dramatic plot shift or account for an inconsistency.

verb

revise (an aspect of a fictional work) retrospectively, typically by introducing a piece of new information that imposes a different interpretation on previously described events.

Retroactive Continuity

Reframing past events to serve a current plot need. [...] In its most basic form, this is any plot point that was not intended from the beginning. [...]

Post-hiatus C2, and the Great Retcon... 

(The retconning really started with the playlists, but we’ll come back to those.)

First, some context:

SDCC (July ‘18) - Marisha was asked directly about Beau and Yasha and if she and Ashley had discussed it. “After the first few times that I kinda put the moves on her, we were at break, and I could sense that Ashley was wanting to ask me something. And she was like, ‘Hey, I’m just curious... is Beau- ’ And at that exact moment someone’s like, ‘Yo Ashley! We gotta go! We gotta get on stage!’ And I was like, ‘Bye!’” Then Brian asked, “And you haven’t had a further conversation about it?” Marisha said, “Nope!”

(Seven months into the campaign, and no discussions. Hmm.)

NYCC (Oct. ‘18) - Marisha was asked about who would Beau get flustered over if they ever flirted back, and yes, she said Yasha and laughed, but then said, “It’s like throwing pebbles at a brick wall.” Meaning, she was putting stuff out there and not getting anything back. (And, she really wasn’t. I still remember when a major portion of the fandom, including the diehard shippers [of which I was one at the time], weren’t sure if Ashley was even interested in this. More than that, it wasn’t until the Zuala reveal, that the fandom and the players found out for certain that Yasha was actually into women.) 

(To me, Marisha’s answer here also suggests that at this point, there were still no discussions.)

Talks Machina for ep61 (May ‘19) - Marisha was asked ‘What was going through Beau's mind when Yasha revealed her past with Zuala? Has this changed any feelings Beau might have? Or has Beau's character growth allowed her to mature a little more with regards to her feelings about Yasha?’ Which Marisha instantly pegged as a shipping question. And she said, “I’m trying to figure out a way to answer this to not ruin everyone’s internal canon, in their brains. I don’t want people to overestimate Beau’s intentions towards Yasha. But then also, is that on me? Have I been leading everybody on?”

So, you had all of that, all the way up to ep61.

None of this indicates that ‘it’s been happening since ep1′ or that it’s ‘the slowest of slow burns.’ In fact, it shuts that down completely.

Moving forward to the Beau and Fjord convo (ep108)...

Marisha suddenly having Beau say “There was something about Yasha from the moment that I saw her”. She’s retrospectively attempting to give that moment more weight, when (based on the examples above) we know that the over-the-top flirting was just for fun. And truthfully, she really wasn’t flirting with Yasha any differently than she was flirting with any hot female NPC the party crossed paths with.

And now it’s clear that that one line she said is the reason why BY shippers have suddenly clung on to the idea that “It’s been happening since episode one! SLOooOowBuUuuUrn!!!!!” when its clear that it was not planned. (Not before the hiatus-from-hell, anyway.)

Then Marisha having Beau go from describing Jester as “She's fun. She makes me laugh. I like her ridiculous plans. I think she's complicated and layered.” to “It’s easy to lust after her”. I’ll direct you to Talks for ep85. After Marisha had mentioned that it was a bunch of little things that build, and then pinpointed a few of them, Brian tried to make a joke and said “So you’re saying it’s been more a series, than just one moment that you can point to and say ‘It was right here when I went, let’s fuck!’” Marisha specifically countered that with “It’s not even about 'let’s fuck’. It’s nothing sexual in this case.” (Having her backpedal on this so heavily was such a huge gut punch and was the thing that wholly soured everything for me.)

There were so many better, more delicate ways Marisha could’ve had Beau examine/come to grips with her feelings for both women, but all the reduction and saying they were ‘transferable’ was nothing short of insulting.

On that same Talks episode, Marisha also said this: “Going into this campaign all of us were like, ‘No relationships!’ I didn’t want it! I didn’t ask for this!”, while smiling. What this shows me is that she was thinking of a relationship in regards to Beau’s feelings for Jester. As if she was maybe even anticipating this culminating into something? Why even mention relationships at all if this was nothing serious and was always meant to fall by the wayside?

Brian then followed up with, “In my opinion, as a viewer, Beau’s someone who seems to be on the search for innocence. Whether innocence lost or just innocence in general. And to me it makes sense that you would be attracted to someone who exudes genuine and sort of intrinsic innocence.” Marisha replied with “Fairly astute.”

The next question was, ‘Beau has taken a pretty casual, no-strings-attached approach toward sex and relationships so far. How do her feelings for Jester compare to her previous romantic flings?’ Marisha answered immediately and very seriously with, “Noncomparable. It’s more than that.” She wasn’t playing coy and it didn’t take her a century to find the words. She didn’t even have to think about it. Succinct and direct.

How did all of that ‘organically’ disappear completely, after only 14 episodes?

(Everything felt more genuine back then, because it seemed like Marisha was going where the character was taking her, and not where she thought the character should be going.)

Post-hiatus, everyone and their mother are acting like BY is some epic romance-of-the-ages that was all mapped out, and like Beau having feelings for Jester was just some sort of temporary curveball. That Beau was confused, or was just missing Yasha and projected onto Jester. 

That’s really fucked up no matter how you try to justify it. I honestly don’t think I’ve ever seen another piece of media backpedal this hard, and this callously.

None of that squares with what we were shown or with what we were told. Until, everybody made a hard pivot and now they've done (and continue to) do everything they can to rewrite campaign history, even though we have plenty of footage that contradicts the new ‘company line’.

Now, where the retconning truly began, with the playlists...

Remember the first round of playlists? Those were released randomly, whenever the cast felt like posting them. I also don’t remember there being announcements every time one came out either.

This time though, they had a fixed schedule, complete with official twitter announcements. As they started to just get back into the swing of things, Yasha’s playlist was released right after the first episode back.

So, right out of the gate, they had to make sure they started to drill home a certain mindset for viewers. That’s why Yasha had a song called ‘Let Me Hold You’. (Lo and behold, a few episodes in, Beau randomly asks Yasha to hold her.)  A few weeks later, Beau’s playlist was released, and there was a song with the caption saying ‘Ultimately, all she really wants is someone to hold, and someone to hold her’. (But sure, no planning here! The wording is just a total coincidence, folks!)  

The other song, directly about Yasha, mentions ‘a crush forged in battle’ (ok), and ‘awkward flirtations’ (???). Yasha never openly flirted with Beau before the hiatus, until maybe right after the Obann arc, in a very vague way.

On Beau’s playlist, there’s nothing about Jester. The one track that mentions her is actually about Artagan. Which, after all they’ve been through together, is fucking ridiculous no matter how you slice it.

In addition to that, Marisha had made Beau’s time in Kamordah (ep92/e93), and the incidents with her family and the Hag, about the group now, not about Jester, fully contradicting her own reiterated words that ‘Jester saved Beau’.

When Beau was talking to her dad, reverting back to her old self and getting all riled up, Jester helped her in that moment, and saved her. Yes, the group was very supportive, and yes, Yasha said something to him before they left the house (that Beau was out of earshot for by the way), but Jester was Beau’s rock throughout that whole thing. 

With the Hag, when the group was having a hard time coming up with a solution, and they realized they might actually lose Beau, Jester stepped up and took control of the situation. She, single-handedly, saved Beau/the group from the Hag. And with that, Jester also became Beau’s hero.

In both instances, Marisha thanked Laura/Jester. First on Talks for ep92 with both of them on it. She reiterated, “You saved me. You saved Beau.” Then on Twitter after ep93 with, “Still processing last night. Saved by a cupcake? Eh - saved by @LauraBaileyVO ... again.” 

But now suddenly, it’s the group. Just the group? 

Now, don’t get me wrong. The entire party showing Beau support was incredibly important. The M9 showed her that they value her, that she’s important to them. It solidified the theme of ‘found family’, which was beautiful. But, to not also highlight how crucial Jester was in all of this, after making such a big deal about it? 

That is very deliberate retconning of some hugely important, highly emotional moments for Beau that directly involved Jester.

Any of Beau’s organic and genuine connection with Jester (which encompasses their deep friendship as well as Beau’s romantic feelings) has been massively reduced (and now erased), specifically to prop up a supposed ‘deep’ connection with someone else that was barely ever there, is still barely there, and has no actual depth at all.

Case in point, the BY date (ep126) showcased this fact to the most extreme degree...

Yasha’s infamous line: “I fell in love with you in Kamordah.” So, Yasha literally watched Beau relive her childhood trauma, and caught feelings during it. I’m not wrong in thinking that that’s just a little disturbing, am I? Also, if that’s the moment she supposedly fell for her, why did she not offer her any form of help? I mean, besides that one sweet moment with TJ, the entire time Beau was in Kamordah, she was the most broken down she’d ever been and needed some real comfort, which is something Yasha did not give her. (Jester did though. In spades.)

So, on multiple levels, this seems highly out-of-place. 

Several people have said that that line was not thought through. In my opinion, it actually was thought through and was only said specifically to have viewers completely dismiss everything else that happened in the Kamordah episodes. Despite the FACT that Beau and Yasha barely interacted during those episodes, they have now stripped down the party’s experience there, and twisted it into a giant BY shipping moment. (Further feeding into the retcon.)

Their ‘trip down memory lane’ was laughable. Most of the things that were mentioned, Yasha wasn’t even around for. 

Gee, remember when the cast was actually good at separating what they knew from what their character knew? When you start injecting what you know into your character (who isn’t supposed to know, because they literally were not physically there), you are metagaming. 

The entire date was one big metagaming bonanza. And it had to be, or else they would’ve had nothing to talk about. There is not one thing they have to call their own. To people who don’t have BY tunnel vision, it was made glaringly obvious that they have nothing in common and their dynamic is fairly shallow. Meanwhile, the rest of the cast are sitting there watching this unfold, smiling and nodding along as if it all makes perfect sense and isn’t utterly ridiculous. (And I’m sitting here wondering when I got shunted into the Twilight Zone.)

The shallowness holds true for FJ as well. Aside from both of them being from the Menagerie Coast, what exactly do they have in common?

While Fjord has grown as a character, as far as Jester goes, he still does not seem to have the capacity to fully understand her as a person, or fully respect her abilities/emotional strength/intelligence. He doubted her often, which led to Jester getting irritated with him several times over the course of at least the last third of the pre-hiatus episodes. He even continued to doubt her judgment (in regards to the Traveler) in the post-hiatus Rumblecusp episodes. But hey, they’ve kissed now (ep118) so all of that gets wiped clean, and he’s being touted as her ultimate romantic soulmate who’s oh-so-perfect for her.

For fuck’s sake, why does that sound like something pulled right out of a CW show?

(I'm convinced that the only reason FJ is ‘popular’ is because the shippers have projected Travis and Laura’s real-life marriage onto the characters. If Fjord and Jester were played by different people, or Travis and Laura were not together, people would realize how paper-thin and half-assed this pairing is and hardly anyone would care about it.) 

Beau and Jester had developed the deepest, most genuine friendship and overall dynamic in the entire party, that should have absolutely been given the chance to be explored further. They constructed a pretty solid foundation that could have easily been built upon, and the fact that it’s been unceremoniously pulverized and snuffed out in favor of such overwhelming tepidity and flavorlessness will never not infuriate me.

Finally, to finish this off, I will say with my whole chest, that that is one of many nasty, rotten patterns that I’ve seen far too much of in all kinds of scripted media, which is...

Not wanting to commit to the thing that’s actually growing organically, because it’ll ruffle too many feathers. It’s too inconvenient. It gets in the way. Because of course, nobody wants to do that. Nobody wants to take a risk, or you know, actually follow where the natural fucking chemistry is taking you. Of course not! Heaven forbid, we go down a different road! You have to go with what’s ‘expected’, no matter what, at the great expense of something new that’s come along that’s clearly better. Even when what’s expected is hollow as fuck and doesn’t make sense anymore, because characters have grown and dynamics have changed, they decide to dig their heels in with the most fanservice-y options instead.

Yet this is UNSCRIPTED media. A D&D campaign, that’s supposed to be mostly improvised. D&D, that’s all about taking chances/going with your gut/making bold choices/etc., from people who have claimed up and down that they “like to see things play out at the table”.

So why are those same disingenuous patterns being utilized here too?

One of the big reasons I got into CR was because I naively believed that because the format was different, that the storytelling would be different. I thought I wouldn’t have to worry about running into this nonsense here. That I wouldn’t have to worry about getting bullshitted, jerked around, and having my intelligence insulted left and right, but alas, here we are.

In conclusion...  [TL;DR, kinda?]

Reframing past events (between B & J, and B & Y) to serve a current plot need (railroading BY):                                                                                      

Beau playlist ignores Jester’s importance to what transpired in Kamordah. (minimizing/erasure)

Beau playlist doesn’t acknowledge/hint at Beau’s feelings for Jester. (total erasure. could have at least included a song about feelings being lost, or being confused about feelings for a friend, but Marisha took the cowardly route, and didn’t bother mentioning it at all.)

Beau playlist claims that Beau and Yasha have both been flirting forever. (easily debunked by session footage.)

In her conversation with Fjord, Beau says, “There was something about Yasha from the moment I saw her”. (it was just about hooking up then, and stayed that way for a majority of the campaign. This line suggests that Beau has had ‘deeper feelings’ for and/or has been ‘in love’ with Yasha since the first episode, that this was all intentional build-up, which again, is easily debunked by session footage, panels, and TM.)

In her conversation with Fjord, Beau says, “It’s easy to lust after her.” (minimizing/erasure/twisting of Beau’s feelings for Jester, which Marisha had previously stated were ‘noncomparable’ , ‘more than that’, and that her attraction is ‘nothing sexual in this case.’)

This isn’t a fucking conspiracy theory. This is plain evidence of a planned retcon.

#op #super long post #uber rant #happy thursday! ;) #beaujester #i wrote this up back in december but didn't have the energy to finish it until now #it got longer as i went #guess i still have a lot of bitching left in me lol #that's what happens when you feel like you've been getting kicked in the teeth for nine months

[hermannsthumb]

As per our convo, Newt getting set up with Hermann via Hermann’s father’s binder full of pre-approved suitors for his son...

(from @k-sci-janitor 👀) easily one of our funniest concepts yet. I was going to end on newt coming over for dinner scenario but I like the ominous open ending. I'm not actually sure when kaiju attacks fall in the PR timeline so excuse my handwaveyness, LOL

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Hermann’s relationship with his father is what one would call strenuous at best, but—Hermann must admit, to the man’s credit, and in spite of his many flaws—he took the news of Hermann’s sexual orientation as unflinchingly as if Hermann had told him the day’s weather. It was a bit annoying, in fact. Hermann had agonized over the proper way to breach the subject for months, certain it spoke to some sort of personal ruin (whether ostracization from the Gottliebs or being forbade following through on any attraction he may feel whilst still living under the family roof, he wasn't sure), before finally simply announcing it one day at the breakfast table on a whim.

It had been a long-standing tradition that Hermann’s parents compile a binder—effectively of dossiers—on all the most eligible bachelors (for their daughter) and bachelorettes (for their sons) to aid in the choice of the latest Gottlieb mate. It was easiest this way, or so Hermann and his siblings were told. Parental approval was already secured. The histories of each were already secured, which bypassed any nasty shocks that might emerge in the courtship stage. Most of them were children of his father's colleagues or bright minds in their own rights: surgeons, and dentists, and mathematicians. Poets were strictly forbidden.

The occasion of Hermann’s breakfast table announcement had also been the day Hermann’s father presented him with his very first binder of prospective mates—a few days after his eighteenth birthday, and shortly before he was to go off to begin work on his PhD. His father had slid him a hand-written binder of names, no more than a dozen, and all with accompanying photographs. “All are accomplished young women,” he assured Hermann. “We can arrange any meetings of your choice over your winter holidays.”

Hermann glared down at the row of frozen smiles. He stabbed his fork into his cooked tomato wedge. “I don’t want to marry any of these women,” he said, and turned his glare on his father. He still had a rebellious streak in him at that point, something nurtured by a charismatic young man he used to trail after in boarding school, who pierced Hermann’s ear with a sewing needle in the boys’ toilets and listened to songs about setting things on fire. In late this streak had manifested itself in Hermann in nicking packets of cigarettes from his father’s study, one of which was in his pocket now. The weight of it made Hermann feel bolder. “I don’t want to marry any woman,” he continued. “I like men.”

The binder was drawn away in silence, and Hermann was free to eat his toast and tomatoes. The next morning a binder of young men was in its place.

(In a way the acceptance infuriated Hermann. It meant he could not blame his father’s obvious dislike for him on an unfounded, homophobic prejudice; rather, it was a result of Hermann’s own personal failings.)

The binder was placed at Hermann’s breakfast plate every day until he left for his studies. It was placed at his plate when he returned from them five years later. Not even the emergence of the kaiju from the bottom of the ocean shortly after Hermann turned twenty-four dampened his father’s hopes, nor turning all their scientific efforts towards the new jaeger program: some names were removed from the binder (the reasoning Hermann shudders to think at), more still were added, though Hermann is expected only to consider it once a week now on account of his busy schedule. This was one of such days.

“Your brother is very happy with his wife,” Hermann’s father reminds him. “She was one of my first suggestions for him, in fact.”

Hermann is not fond of his sister-in-law. Too rude—too cold. Though perhaps that makes her perfect for Hermann’s brother. “Haven’t we got bigger things to worry about these days than whether or not I’m going to marry?” Hermann says. He adds milk to his tea. “I’m sure they’re all, er, marvelous selections, only—”

“Your sister, too, with her husband,” father says.

Hermann sighs. He hasn’t got much of the rebellious streak he used to in him anymore—too stressed. Not fancying a fight before they’ve even begun today’s coding work, he picks up the binder and begins flipping through it. Sons of engineers working on the jaeger program with them, prominent young chemists, many of whom Hermann has been presented with since he was eighteen. Plenty of them are even handsome. Half of Hermann wonders if he should just pick the least-unappealing one of the bunch and be done with it already. He turns the page over and freezes. “Oh,” he says. “This one is—new.”

“Hm?” father says.

Hermann holds up the binder, tapping at a new entry. “Newton Geiszler.”

“Dr. Geiszler,” father says, nodding. “A child prodigy from Berlin—he’s made tremendous strides in kaiju science in such little time. And,” he adds, “three PhDs. Two of them before he even turned twenty.” The unspoken implication was that Dr. Geiszler far surpassed Hermann in intelligence and Hermann should feel ashamed for not skipping as many grades as Dr. Geiszler.

Hermann feels he ought to resent Dr. Geiszler for it, but he's finding it difficult to summon up any animosity towards him. It's likely because Hermann finds Dr. Geiszler to be strikingly handsome in his photograph: cheeks which haven’t quite lost their baby fat (giving him the appearance of being a scruffy hamster), large, thick glasses, tousled hair, an easy grin. Three PhDs, and German at that. And a child prodigy? “I’m surprised you haven’t mentioned him to me before,” Hermann says. He seems precisely the sort father would. Geiszler’s photograph is black-and-white and a bit grainy, but Hermann swears he could make out the lightest bit of freckles across his cheeks.

“I’d not heard of him until he published an article last week on kaiju biology,” father says. “Besides—he’s moved to America.”

Geiszler has three piercings up the side of his left ear. “I am going to write to him,” Hermann declares.

Father nods, and picks up his newspaper, clearly already disinterested. They speak no more of it that day.

It is not hard to find Dr. Geiszler online (his name is not the most common, and his field of study certainly isn’t), nor is it hard to match his photograph to his faculty page on MIT’s website. From there, Hermann retrieves Dr. Geiszler’s email address. He takes the evening to read over Geiszler’s publications spanning back to 2003 before he gathers up the courage to type out an actual email.

Dear Dr. Geiszler,

You do not know me, but I have recently been made acquaintance with your work and find it—Hermann pauses—scintillating. My father and I are—Hermann backspaces this—I am currently working on the development of the jaeger program…

There’s a response waiting for him the next morning. It’s as enthusiastic as it is brief. Dr. Gottlieb- That’s so awesome!! Believe it or not I’ve been following your work too. I have a million questions for you about the jaegers. If it’s classified info I promise I won’t tell. -Newt

It makes Hermann smile like nothing ever has before.

Hermann’s correspondence with Dr. Geiszler does not transgress beyond the professional until the following January. By that time, Hermann and his father have successfully completed the coding for their first jaeger prototype, and Hermann has been offered his fair share of tenured university positions to pick from as he likes. He finds himself oddly disappointed that none of them are in America with Dr. Geiezler. This, which leads to the realization that he’s grown rather fond of Dr. Geiszler, is perhaps what drives Hermann to uncharacteristic sentimental extremes on January 19th: he orders Dr. Geiszler a birthday present. The first email Dr. Geiszler sends him after that addresses him as Hermann. The first email Hermann sends Dr. Geiszler after that addresses him as Newton. Things move rapidly after that.

“Are you still writing to that young biologist?” Hermann’s father asks him in March. Hermann has spent the last two months devouring every bit of information Newton has seen fit to divulge about his personal life: his dexterity with no less than three different instruments, his favorite loud monster movies, how he’d love to get a kaiju tattooed on him one day. Hermann suspects he might be falling in love with Newton. In hardly five months! These are war times, Hermann supposes, so it would make sense. People are meant to do such extreme things.

“I am,” Hermann says.

“I’ve asked around about him,” Hermann’s father says. His expression is stern—unimpressed. “About his character. I’m not sure it’s wise to continue your correspondence.”

The reasons are this. Dr. Geiszler’s methods are unorthodox. Dr. Geiszler is loud and uncouth, and has little respect for his intellectual superiors. Dr. Geiszler was thrown out of a convention once for storming up on stage and stealing a microphone from an engineer to shout about the destruction coral reefs. Dr. Geiszler was in a distasteful band for several years. Dr. Geiszler was once arrested for egging a politician’s house. Dr. Geiszler has gone on record as describing the kaiju as “kinda cool”. Almost none of this is news to Hermann; in fact, that which is only causes Hermann’s affection for Newton to grow. “I will consider your advice,” Hermann says, knowing he won’t. Besides, it's not as if his father really has Hermann's interests at heart—Hermann knows he merely wishes to preempt any scandal Newton Geiszler could possibly bring upon the Gottlieb name.

In April Newton goes on television and declares that he’s sure the kaiju are extraterrestrial in origin, on account of their great size and his brief examination of a sample from the second kaiju to make landfall. He’s laughed off by his older peers before he can get another word out. The email he writes to Hermann afterwards is furious, capslock-heavy, and expresses that Hermann is the only one who takes him seriously in the whole world. It leaves Hermann certain that he is in love with Newton.

“Dr. Geiszler was interviewed on some American television program,” Hermann’s father says a few days later.

“I know,” Hermann says, proudly. Newton was on television. “I watched it.”

“He made some extraordinary claims,” Hermann’s father says.

But Hermann is thinking only of the outfit Newton wore (skinny jeans and an oversized leather jacket, so out of place compared to the suited other scientists sitting around him), the shade of his eyes (hazel), his short stature (hardly taller than Hermann), and the cadence of his voice (high, but not unappealing). He’d been so confident, and carried himself with a self-assurance that was foreign to Hermann. It was marvelously attractive. “I’m sure they're correct,” Hermann says. "Every single one. Newton is a terribly brilliant scientist." All bold claims are met with derision at first, are they not?

Newton’s theory is proven correct after the next kaiju attack, when experts other than him get their hands on kaiju samples and validate his claims. The general consensus after that is that the kaiju are not of this world. And Newton was the first to propose the theory! Hermann sends Newton an email full of congratulations, and Newton responds with a heart emoticon in his sign-off. Newton isn't just a brilliant scientist. “Newton is a genius,” Hermann tells his father, dreamily.

The binder reappears on Hermann’s work desk a few months later, Newton’s page torn conspicuously from it. Hermann tips the whole thing straight into his trash can. He has more important things to worry about—arranging a meeting with Newton, perhaps. Hermann ought to have him over for dinner.

#newmann #maria's fanfiction tag #Anonymous #the new post editor is weird but I like that I can make things pink

[changebydjo]

IMPORTANT - PLEASE READ

 so i’ve put off writing this for a long, long time, and it’ll be painful for me to make this post but at this point i feel like it needs to be done. someone within the liz fandom has been lying, gaslighting and manipulating me as well as many others, both online and offline, and after getting proof on everything (plus their lack of remorse) has prompted me to write this.

this is about gil perez, aka @unrated-g, and one of his irl friends, kim @kimbus-the-whimbus, to a lesser extent, but mostly gil. since 2016 - nearly 5 years now - he’s been lying that he’s best friends with liz gillies. i’m gonna put a read more because it’s a long, insane, and ridiculous thing that happened, but please read all of it and know how serious this is, as well as all the damage this man has done.

​

i met gil through tumblr in 2018 - he had been replying my posts since before that, but early 2018 is when i followed him and started chatting with him casually. over time, i noticed that he would reblog posts about liz and in the tags he would seem to be talking to her or referencing her, but not by her name - instead he would call her “goblin”. he would mention things that “goblin” liked or behind the scenes on dynasty stuff, and after a few weeks of noticing this and chatting with him about dynasty/liz, i ended up asking him if he was friends with liz/knew her personally because of the way he spoke about her. he confirmed to me that he knew her, she was one of his best friends, and he “didn’t expect” anyone to pick up on it. he told me to keep it private and i agreed, obviously, because i had no reason to not trust him, and i know that liz values her privacy.

it’s important to note that liz does NOT follow him or any of his accounts from her verified twitter or instagram accounts - instead, he said she had an “extremely private” encrypted tumblr account that could only be seen by people she follows/white listed. he was one of them. her blog would not show up for anyone else, and they met through tumblr in 2016 (even though he said she followed him back in 2010 and he didn’t realize until 6 years later) through their mutual love for uncharted, and bonded over playing uncharted 4 multiplayer together. it’s also important to note that liz has had 2 tumblr accounts since 2010, both of which she has abandoned, and he said that her private tumblr is separate from those two. she also was friends with him (according to him) through PSN, where they would play ps4 games together, and all of his text convos with her are from that app:

(^ “liz’s” PSN account)

throughout all of 2018, we would text on a regular basis and started becoming good friends. he was extremely kind, always willing to be there for me, and listened to me about not only fandom stuff but also my irl problems. he also became friends with my friend group, who were also in the liz fandom, and it was really nice for a while. in october of 2018, gil said he went to HHN with liz and matt in LA, and for xmas of 2018, he said he spent it with liz - both in LA and in NJ, which is what she typically does to spend her holidays with her family and friends. her pale blue eyes cover was also for him, according to gil, because he asked for her to cover it specifically and she did just for him.

gil would also occasionally stream for friends, and sometimes liz would show up:

beginning of 2019 is when gil and i started getting much closer - we started playing games together (mostly mario kart, at the beginning) and talking through voice chat. he would talk about liz and personal things about her/her life or dynasty, and he always willingly supplied that information himself - i never asked for it, i wasn’t friends with him to get information on liz or have an “in” with her. chatting with him made me feel good and happy and important to him, and i realized i started having feelings for him - which i told him about in april 2019. he said he wasn’t sure exactly how he felt but he thought he might feel the same, the only really complicated part (besides the fact that this was long distance/not irl) was that he also had a really deep crush on liz, someone who was his best friend/ultimate celeb crush. he was really like in love with her, even though he said he tried to suppress it. anyways, after me admitting that to him, our friendship started to develop into something more. we weren’t ever in an official relationship, but things were definitely not strictly platonic with us. we went from chatting once every week or two to almost every single night for 3-6 hours per night for MONTHS. throughout that time, our relationship became sexual, too, and my feelings for him just continued to get deeper and deeper.

this continues throughout the rest of 2019, and then new years 2020, everything just...goes to shit asap. gil got really distant with me with no explanation, i felt like all the affection he was showing me and the kind things he would say to me, as well as our bonding time when we would chat together, was just ripped away unexpectedly. i constantly asked what was wrong and what was happening, and told him how i feel, and i got no real response besides just being tired/non-sociable, etc. (which, for the record, is completely understandable, but it was such a huge 180 in behavior that it worried me and things never went back to normal after that). in addition to that, kim (who was mentioned at the beginning of this post) is one of his best friends irl, as well as his on again/off again ex (according to him). anyways, there were posts that she had made that indicated to them not being exes and instead still together - or at the very least not platonic - which crushed me when i found out, because until that point i had no reason not to trust him. i told him about it though, and how it hurt me because my feelings were so deep for him at that point i felt that i loved him, and he told me they weren’t together. this isn’t really necessary for the liz stuff of this post, but it’s important for context for how hurt and on edge i was already feeling before things got worse.

we would still chat maybe a few times a week, but nothing like it used to be, and i was happy we would even chat at all, even though things felt so weird and different and off, and no matter what i did, i couldn’t fix it. as 2020 started going on, and this continued, his friendship with liz started making me feel extremely uncomfortable. knowing that he had the weird boundaries with his ex, plus whatever was going on with me and him, AND that he was in love with liz?? it was unsettling. i felt like i couldn’t compare, because it’s *liz gillies*, someone i obviously love and idolize and look up to. and she was up on a pedestal for him, even though he said that he never tried to treat liz differently than his other close friends just bc of who she was, but that wasn’t true. anything that she said or did, he agreed with 100%, and would defend it. when he and i would chat, and i would mention something about dynasty that bothered me, he would talk about what liz’s thoughts were on it and how she felt and that she was right to feel that way and it made me feel awful. this happened on multiple occasions throughout various topics, from dynasty to fandom stuff to liz’s friendships/relationships, etc. no matter what, to gil, liz was always right and he always had an explanation for anything that happened. the way he would describe liz and the thing he said about her made me see her in a completely different light - she was not the same liz that she presented herself as, at least in gil’s eyes. 

he would always talk about how amazing liz was to him and how she did so much for him, such as buying him gifts, supporting his art, etc. this was hurtful to hear because i was doing the exact same things for him, as well as our group of friends: we had been buying his art (not only the art prints but the ACTUAL original copies), sending him gifts or money for gifts, supporting him and his art on social media, as well as just being a genuine friend to him. he never appreciated or thanked us the way that he thanked liz; none of us ever compared to her, even though we were doing the exact same thing for him that he said liz was doing, as well. it made me feel like no matter what i did, or how supportive i was, i was never enough.

we also had a discord with gil, that involved him, me, and my friends sarah, hope, amanda, and dom. within this discord, it’s worth noting that gil was the only man there, and would talk about liz and his friendship with her there, unprompted. we never asked for info, he volunteered everything willingly, and we all kind of glossed over it at the time because we weren’t friends with him for liz or any of that.

(the screenshot gil linked in the gc is what “liz’s” private encrypted blog looks like on his dash. please note the edit post button in the bottom right of the screenshot.)

another important thing about his friendship with liz/being in love with her: he has this specific kink (which i don’t want to say what it is for privacy reasons) and he said that liz was engaging in this kink herself, and that he was jealous of liz’s bf/wishes he could engage in it with liz, etc. i wasn’t into this kink before talking to him but because i had liked him so much at the time, and i was slightly jealous that he wanted it with liz, i thought that i could indulge in it for him. it was something that i was not physically or mentally prepared for/able to make happen, and it really caused an impact on me, and he just...didn’t care. at all.

anyways: this stuff continues, then around summer 2020, my friend sarah reached out to him. she (and my friends, along with me) were starting to distrust the things gil was saying about liz, since it went completely against what liz would say herself. she would say she only plays the sims 3 on her computer - he would say she was a huge gamer and played the sims 4 on ps4, along with minecraft, uncharted, the last of us, horizon zero dawn, etc. he would say that liz and maddison brown (her dynasty co-star) played ACNH with him and quickly got to 5 stars - liz said in a zach sang interview that she didn’t play animal crossing. every time something didn’t add up, his excuse was that liz was lying for her privacy. she didn’t follow gil on any verified social media accounts in case “people harassed him” over being friends with her. so sarah texted him that she needed to talk to him about the liz stuff, because there was evidence it wasn’t true, and he denied all of it. he firmly stuck to his story, and sarah gave him multiple chances over several days to come clean and he wouldn’t. she asked for simple pieces of proof that he could give her, and he wouldn’t besides fake screenshots of her “private blog”:

 he told me afterwards that if it comes between his friendship with liz or sarah’s, he’s picking liz - end of story. his and sarah’s friendship was done after that because of his decision. he blamed sarah for “ruining” liz and maddison’s friendship because of her asking for proof, and made her out to be the bad one in that situation. he ended up deleting the discord gc after this happened, with all of his screenshots/”info” as liz as well (we got screenshots of things before he deleted it though, much more that’s shown in this post).

about a month later, my friend léa also confronted him about it. gil had told her some things about liz’s “reaction” to meeting léa in paris, and at the time, it had made the experience more special for her. once she realized it was all lies, though, it really hurt her - he altered that special experience for her and twisted it into something that wasn’t real. he had the same reaction to léa’s conversation as he did to sarah’s, and he refused to tell the truth. their friendship was done with after, as well, along with a few other people from the liz fandom. i was the only one who stayed friends with him after that, and that was because i was closest with him and still trying to see if i could fix things with him. i was still naively believing that he would treat me okay again, he would make me feel important instead of always a backup option, that he wanted me again. 

but of course that never happened. he continued to ignore me, talk to me less and less, and would subtweet me on his private account. after he stopped being friends with sarah and léa and everyone blocked him except for me, i was the only follower on his private account, as well as being the only person he followed there. gil, though, kept saying that liz had a “private twitter” where she would talk to him on his private account. he also said that he had “merged twitter accounts” into one, which was his private, which messed up his account and wouldn’t show who he was replying to, quote rts, or that he was following them, which - if you have a twitter, you KNOW none of that can actually happen. but it was his excuse to constantly subtweet me and my friends for not believing him, to maintain his story, AND to have convos with “liz” on there that only i could see, where he made it sound like he was talking shit about me to her. it was extremely manipulative and served no purpose except to fuck with me, because he knew that i was the only one seeing those tweets and knew i was already struggling with not knowing what to believe. here’s some of them:

(you can very clearly see that i’m the only follower/following on that account, the number is at literally 1, and he STILL was acting like he was talking to someone else and that other people were following him.)

now comes jan. 2021!! WE GOT DEFINITE PROOF THAT IT WAS ALL LIES. from multiple people. one of liz’s close best friends (that gil included in his stories about her, saying that he met them) said that they don’t know who gil is, have never met him, and it’s best for us all to block him for our own safety. a co-worker of liz’s (who was, again, included in gil’s lies, that he hung out with them multiple times, played games with them online, and bought him gifts) said that not only had they never met gil, but EVERYTHING he said about them was untrue. they even listed the inaccuracies he would say about them, such as gil taking photos of them at things like the SWT, and they confirmed who actually took the photo. they said that “none of it is fucking true” and that gil is a narcissistic liar, and also encouraged us to block him for our own safety. 

i confronted gil myself about this a few weeks ago, and he continued to maintain his story that everyone’s lying to protect his privacy - even though we know for sure that wasn’t the case. he FINALLY owned up to it to me only once he saw i had proof and he was caught, and his reason for doing it was “he was bored”. he said he was sorry but he wasn’t truly apologetic - he either didn’t fully realize the scope of how hurtful his lies and manipulations were, or he just didn’t care, but the bottom line is that he always chose his fantasy of liz over his actual friends. around this time, once he knew he was caught, he also deactivated his private account, but brought it back a week or so later, with all of the subtweets and tweets about liz being deleted. all of the unverified accounts that were supposed to be liz - the tumblr account, psn, twitch, etc. - were all fake and made by him, so he could make it seem more real.

even if he WAS telling the truth about being friends with liz, he still would have completely violated her privacy by the amount of “secret” things he told all of us - from her kinks/sex life, to work life, to very personal things that he claims happened to her. knowing it’s all fake though, and he made up an entire personality and life for liz that doesn’t exist??? it’s insane.

now the part with kim - she’s known gil irl for over 10 years, and has tweeted about liz all the time, about how “good” liz is to her because of gil, and that she’s the one who encouraged him to talk to her. she brags about it constantly, even though none of it is real. she also tweeted multiple times throughout 2018-2019 about how gil “finally deserves to meet liz in person”, even though gil said he met liz irl back in 2017 or so - AND that she came to texas, where he lives, to meet him and his friends. when asked about her tweets, he said that kim’s account was “messed up” and her tweets weren’t “tweeted at the right time”. one of my friends reached out to tell her and show her the proof of gil lying, because gil has been lying to her and other people irl too, and instead she mocked us, belittled us, and chose not to believe a group of women coming to her about a 30 year old (!!) man manipulating us. gil said that kim was “aware of it all being a lie for years now” to me, but i think that was another lie, that he’s STILL lying to her about it. if not, then that means that kim was also lying for many years about knowing liz too, and used it to make us all the butt of her joke, so. so much for her being an “empath” and wanting to help people but anyways!!

the last screenshot is of her subtweeting us and implying that everyone involved with liz is lying for her and gil’s privacy, even though we have proof that that simply isn’t true.

i’m sorry for how long this is, but i need people to understand how serious this is. he’s been lying for 5 YEARS now about knowing liz - about her “accidentally sending nudes” to him, that gil is one of her best friends and he would’ve been at her wedding, that she’s a huge gamer who plays with him - all of it. it’s all lies. he created a fantasy version of liz that doesn’t exist, and incorporated into his real life, his friendships both online and off, and made it his entire personality. he’s not sorry about what he’s done - as i’m writing this, he’s still on tumblr, talking in the tags to “liz” again, because he’d rather uphold his fantasy life where he’s best friends with liz when in reality, she has no idea he even exists. and if she did, i’m certain that she would be disgusted with what he’s done. he lied about her, oversexualized her, used his kinks on her which was brought onto me - someone he knew that was vulnerable and had feelings for him, manipulated people into trying to believe his lies, gaslit people to make them unable to tell what was true and what was fake, and had absolutely zero respect for any of us. he even listened to me cry to him on the phone MULTIPLE times about how insecure and worthless i felt to him compared to liz, and he didn’t do ANYTHING about it. he sat there and listened to me cry, knowing he could own up to his lie, and he chose not to. he’s not sorry about what he’s done, and he’s going to continue to spread his lies. please block him. i can’t express how much he’s hurt me, the therapy that i need to have because of him, how much he’s hurt my friends and how little he respects women in general tbh. he always tried to come off as “one of the good guys” but now i know he’s harmful and not to be trusted. he even tried to separate me from my friends, and make it seem like they’re the ones making this situation even harder for him. i’ve tried so, so many times to get through to him, waiting to see if he’d change or show some remorse or anything, but after over a year of this i don’t think he will, and it genuinely hurts me to know that. BLOCK HIM.

#important #signal boost #long post #liz gillies #elizabeth gillies #so liz fandom ppl can see

[snarky-art]

Musa and Aisha in their enchantix! I still haven’t figured out how I want the wings to look but that’s ok I think.

Info on their relationship in my version of Winx Club below!

So when Aisha arrives at Alfea in season 2, it’s pretty much the same as in the original show. She doesn’t really know what to do. Anne was the only person her age she had ever really interacted with. The rest of the time she was pretty isolated and surrounded by adults. She has trouble figuring out exactly how to act around the winx and is really scared of messing things up.

Musa is also used to feeling like that. She has a lot of separation anxiety and fear of abandonment which she had manifest in the defense mechanism of not letting people get close so she couldn’t get hurt. She’s gotten better at handling it though ever since joining Alfea and getting a super close knit group of friends. As a result though, she can understand best how Aisha is feeling and is able to help in little ways the others can’t.

Musa does the most to make her feel more comfortable and at ease (the others do too but it just hits a little different coming from someone who really gets it, ya know?) and as a result they become much closer much faster. They find themselves talking more openly about their fears and insecurities and experiences when they’re alone and a they just end up having a really strong bond.
In my version of this, Musa and Riven did get together at the end of season 1, but they breakup around ¾ths of the way through season 2. They realize it just isn’t really healthy for either of them and they both bring out the worst in each other. They both have some insecurities from previous relationships and just their family life in general (Riven’s mom abandoned him, Musa’s mom is dead and her relationship with her father is pretty strained although it does start to get better after the concert episode in season 2), so Musa is the one who ultimately takes the initiative to break it off. They both aren’t happy and Riven takes it especially hard, but Timmy talks some sense into him and he starts working to get better around the end of season 2/beginning of season 3.

Another reason Musa breaks it off is along with realizing how much worse she feels with Riven and along with how much worse she is as a person with him, she has a moment of realization where she just goes “oh, but with Aisha, I DO want to be better, and I trust her so much more completley,, oh no.” and she’s basically like “now we don’t have time to unpack ALL of that right now” but along with ending her relationship being better for both Riven and her, she needs to think some stuff about that over.

Musa is in denial about liking Aisha for a while and tries to stifle it and convince herself it’s nothing or that it’ll go away. This isn’t because she’s having a Gay Panic or something though (in my thing she’s bi and has had partners of other genders before). The panic comes from at this point, Aisha is one of the closest people in her life despite them only knowing each other for about a year and she doesn’t want to ruin something good (cue abandonment issues). Musa handles this physically by being more shy and easily flustered and also by eventually talking to the winx about it. Tecna ties but in my thing, Tecna is borderline Aromantic (demi is what I’m thinking of for her, still haven’t figured it all out though) so she’s not very good at giving advice for it, but she’s happy to listen. Flora gives soft advice and a listening ear, ever the romantic, and Stella is too but she’s much more loud (she also feels bad about trying to hook Musa up with so many dates and her and Riven broke up now that she knows Musa was having a crisis the whole time, granted the date with Jared was a good thing since Jared and Musa became good friends so Stella won’t apologize for that one and Musa decides that’s fair), and Bloom is pretty awkward with relationship stuff so she does the “are ya winning, son?” approach to all of this. Musa appreciates that they’re all trying though, despite the various degrees of success.

Aisha doesn’t really talk to anyone about her feelings for Musa, which she realizes she has shortly after gaining her enchantix. During the first attack on Alfea in the their third year of school, when she sees her enchantix for the first time, and how sure of herself she was about doing what she could to save Galatea’s life and save all the ancient texts and tomes, she’s like “yup that pretty much confirms everything for me.”

In my version Aisha is a lesbian and she’s known for a WHILE. Anne was her first crush and she also liked some of the princesses and nobles that she would meet or see at the many fancy diplomatic meetings she would be dragged to. She’s very secure in her sexuality and romantic attraction (homophobia isn’t really a Thing in my version per se, but there are some concerns about lineage in upper circles for royalty and leaders, since not all queer couples can have children biologically and sometimes adoption is hard depending on the circumstances, ESPECIALLY if there is a form of magic that is needed to be transferred from one member of a family to the next member and it isn’t a guarantee or even possible for some magic to latch onto someone and become apart of their core if they aren’t biologically related). Aisha hadn’t mentioned it to her parents though. Her parents and her don’t have the most open relationship due to the very controlling and stifling nature of both the court her parents rule over and just their general demeanor which leads to the next issue: arranged marriage on Andros, which is something her parents still partake in, and that really makes both Musa and Aisha feel like their hearts are being grabbed and twisted. Once they tell her, she’s about to tell them but they leave soon after telling her because they have stuff to do and also they would rather speak to Aisha once she’s “calmed down some.” The next time she has time to tell them, shit with Valtor starts to hit the fan and it gets put on the backburner.

By the time Nabu shows up, it’s pretty rough. Once Aisha realizes who he is she’s mad because of course she is, this is the person she’s expecting to be with. Nabu is understanding of this, and gets it completely, especially since he originally lied about his identity. Aisha does take a breather though and they talk it out some. He wanted to see who he was arranged to marry like in the show, and Aisha says she honestly never wanted to see him, and he laughs and says that’s fair. They do end up having a “best bros” dynamic though eventually. AIsha tells him about Musa, and he says he’s so sorry about this whole thing and eventually they do meet up with their parents like in the show and they talk to them about everything finally and their parents tell them that the arranged marriage isn’t necessary in the end. It works out and Aisha and Nabu do a sickass secret handshake they made and all is well. The relationship between their kingdoms is also really strong regardless of marriage too due to their eventual life long friendship.

Aisha also eventually talks to Flora some about how she should go about asking Musa out and about whether or not she thinks it would be a good idea and Flora and Chatta (ESPECIALLY CHATTA) are doing EVERYTHING they can to not blurt out that Musa hasn’t been able to shut up about liking Aisha for over a year and a half at this point. 

Over the season their relationship continues to get stronger. 

TW: talk of e*ting disorder. Please skip this paragraph if that is triggering to you. I will have the next paragraph start with -paragraph over- so skip to that if you would like

I also have a thing in my version where Musa struggles with an e*ting disorder some just do to anxiety and insecurities and that was one of the ways those things ended up manifesting (that’s how it was for me and I’ve put a little bit of myself into each of these gals and pal (Tecna is nonbinary in my version and although they’re fine with being perceived as a woman and is cool with she/her pronouns and general slang terms like “gal,” “dude,” “bro,” etc., they still prefer overall being acknowledged as a nonbinary person by people who don’t know them very well (all pronouns are cool with them also. This stuff I just mentioned is how I am as a nonbinary person and I thought it fit Tecna too). This is why I have her looking a little thinner in my earlier sketches, since those take place in season 1 and 2. Aisha goes out of her way to help her however she can and Musa feels guilty but eventually Aisha just tells her to accept the help because she cares about her, she knows that Musa wants to get better (she started wanting to really work to stop skipping meals in the middle of season 2 and being less afraid of putting on weight. Her relationship with Riven wasn’t helping her mental state and this was around the point where she realized things probably weren’t going to get better unless she worked really hard on both herself and with setting better boundaries. Aisha was the only one to know about her skipping meals more than was healthy as it ended up coming out on one of their many late night heart to heart convos they like to have) and because it isn’t taking a toll on her mental health, and she promises to let her know if it does (Aisha also learned more about healthy boundaries during her time with the winx way to go, queen). They do meal preps together, get a healthy workout routine that doesn’t involve Musa dropping dead from exhaustion every time, and they get help pamphlets and Musa ends up seeing a counselor on campus to get some help and by the middle of season 3, things are a lot better, and while it’s still something that Musa is going to struggle with off and on during her life because that’s how this stuff tends to work, she has the tools to help herself better and she also has a really good support system and knows therapy is still an option if she needs it after her time at Alfea. The rest of the winx find out eventually too and are, of course, super supportive and proud of her.

-end paragraph-

The main takeaway from that paragraph is that Aisha and Musa are very close and supportive of each other and that I mention Tecna is nonbinary (all pronouns acceptable, although tends to prefer they/them)

Along with that being yet another huge thing that relates to them wanting to help each other grow and become better people, they just end up realizing that if they could choose a day where they could choose anyone to spend time with for the whole time, it would be each other.

By the end of their third year at alfea/the movie (unsure which yet exactly, but it’s in that time frame) they get together and they stay together for the rest of everything:)

#winx club #Winx #aisha #aisha winx #layla #winx layla #musa #musa winx #enchantix #winx redesign #winx reboot #winx rewrite #winx remake #sapphic #WLW #they are in love #it's my sleepover and i get to choose the love story #enchantix redesign

[roublardise]

SPN vs CONSENT

I think s9 is particularly interesting to question the portrayal of consent in spn. It starts with the whole “angel suggests Dean to trick Sam into saying yes to said angel” and that really makes you think (non-ironically)

Consent is usually discussed in a sexual context, but spn makes it (whether it wants it or not) a prominent theme through possessions, and that’s how i’m gonna talk about it in this essay-not-actual-essay :)

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Legally (and here I’m basing my analysis on my French lens), consent is defined by the absence of violence, surprise, threat, or coercion. So anything with any of these (violence, surprise, threat, coercion) is considered as assault. Then, what is considered as violent, surprising, threatening, and coercive is open to interpretation. In that way, consent would be the absence of no, and not a yes per se. (is there an english idiom for “qui ne dit mot consent”?)

In feminist circles discourses around consent are trying to define consent by itself, and not by the absence of assault. What is consent? is it simply an agreement? is it saying yes? is it desire? is it pleasure? It brought feminists to highlight “grey areas” around consent, where a situation can look consensual, but also... was it really??

In the past years we’ve seen more and more of these “no means no” & “yes means yes” campaigns. Though we can, in light of the grey areas, be wary of the last claim. Some “yes” might not actually mean “yes”, or at least be questionable “yes”.

Basically, consent is / can be:

not saying “no”

saying “yes”

saying “yes” but without violence, surprise, threat, coercion

saying “yes” but without those + with a full knowledge of what it means & the consequences (libre & éclairé)

anything meaning “hell yeh i’m down”

kind of all of the above

??????? (that’s my personal feminist pov)

We can see that the words matter a lot in these views. Being able to verbally express something (or not express something) is a major point in defining a situation as consensual. It’s interesting through an ableist lens but that’s not why I’m writing this post but, you’re free to keep that in mind.

All that being said, that’s when I ask myself, nice, but how does the show supernatural portrays consent?

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The notion of consent is heavily present both through the demons & angels possessions, and particularly through the difference between demonic possession & angelic possession.

Demons are, by definition, villains. They don’t even bother to ask and wait for permission: they take.

With Ruby back in s4, the issue with it is acknowledged and she ends up possessing an “empty” body of a girl who just died. The girl didn’t technically agree to be possessed post-death, and it isn’t presented as a completely consensual situation, it is more of a grey area. Honestly, spn shows up plenty of grey areas even through demonic possession.

In s9 we learn Josie agreed to be possessed by Abaddon, in place of Henry. She said “yes”, and it’s a choice she makes, while knowing (I presume, as a woman of letters) what it entails. Yet she does it to save Henry, and while it technically is a context of “saying ‘yes’ with a full knowledge of what it means & the consequences” & Abaddon doesn’t tell Josie “I’m gonna possess you, if you don’t want to it’ll be Henry” - like, Abaddon isn’t the one suggesting the idea. Josie is the one bringing it up. But Abaddon doesn’t need permission anyway, and in the end she’s the one who takes - but she takes what’s given to her. Seeing it like this, was there coercion?

I don’t think the narration is telling us “hey, technically she literally asked for it so it’s okay” considering demons are never portrayed as good (at best they’re grey areas, but demons as a group = bad). And I may make excuses for Crowley but I sure won’t argue the contrary in this specific case.

But while demons don’t have to bother about consent for possession, they do need to when it comes to deals. So, how do crossroads demons make deals? are they actually just providing a service, for a price, to consensual humans? is their job inherently bad?

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The way Crowley sees it, demon deals are truly like a contract. People come to ask for something, they get the price, they buy ; each part respects the deal and everything’s smooth. Crowley even gets pissed off by demons collecting souls too early. And when Abaddon’s like “lmao why are we acting properly we’re demons?” it implies that the way Crowley runs things is “too human”.

And that’s true and that’s what I love. Crowley is just a businessman. He doesn’t even send demons to pressure people to summon crossroads demons & make a deal (like Sam will do in s10 with Lester, which portrayed this demon deal as a grey area which is even addressed in a convo between Sam and Dean). The knowledge of crossroads deals is passed through folklore and people come like one enters a shop.

Questioning this job as good or bad, as a potentially inherently non-consensual context, is fascinating to me because it leads to question business as a whole.

Back to consent, though. There’s an actual act which sells the deal and that’s what can be seen as a “yes”. And here, different demons act in different ways. During the course of the show we’ve seen demons barely telling humans what the cost was (Azazel just goes “I’ll come in ten years” and he’s not the only one) ; while others are pretty specific. Some are more vague and use the disbelief of the client to take advantage of them. To get that “yes” which counts as “yes”, in every case, even if it is given with bias & without a full knowledge of the act and its consequences.

But the “yes” is even what sells the deal in itself: they seal the deal with a kiss. A kiss, as a physical act, is something people can’t take back. It happened. It’s not mere words throwing in the air - there’s something definitive about it that neither a “no” nor a verbal “yes” has. The kiss are never forced onto people, they have to initiate it. Demons can’t take it by themselves. In a way, they can’t force a deal on someone who doesn’t take the decision. But a “no” is never definite and can be changed through persuasion.

For crossroad demons then, I’ll say consent goes in the ‘simple “yes”’ category. But it could actually fit better in the “hell yeh I’m down” category. Which is even more interesting because what counts as “hell yeh I’m down” is a kiss which can be very not enthousiastic (see Crowley’s first deal, where he makes a homophobic guy kiss him).

Depending on demons, consent can involve violence, threat, coercion, and not knowing the exact consequences. Such cases are portrayed as more evil, more questionable ; whereas the “usual” demons-Crowley-way lays on a grey(er) area.

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What about angels now? How do they define consent?

I don’t think, talking about supernatural, that we can start with the premise of angels being “good”. Even their default settings seem to have never truly been about helping humans, that’s what Castiel’s arc questions all the way. But they are still supposed to act in a certain “more decent” way, than demons. And they do give Heaven, I guess. Anyway.

Angels are a big grey area, yet when it comes to possession the statement seems to be that they do things “correctly” as they have to have the vessel’s consent to do so. In Castiel’s first appearance the dialogue goes:

DEAN : You're possessing some poor bastard? CASTIEL : He's a devout man, he actually prayed for this.

Which already puts angels in contrast with demons who don’t bother to make sure their vessel is okay with it and can handle it.

The whole arc of Jimmy agreeing to be Cas’ vessel is truly interesting because there’s a process at play there ; Cas introduces himself, he proves to Jimmy he can be trusted, and when he eventually asks, Jimmy accepts. He says “yes”.

We later learn that Cas didn’t have to go through all that, he didn’t have to take his time and be sure Jimmy agreed. At the same time, Lucifer is looking from a vessel and using manipulative tactics to get the “yes”. That’s the first time we’re shown the loophole in the concept:

Angels need a “yes” to be able to possess someone, which is a way to make sure they aren’t crossing any boundaries or pushing themselves into someone who doesn’t want to. Yet, Lucifer shows the grey line here: a “yes” doesn’t always truly mean “yes”.

Quickly during s4 angels are portrayed as untrusting, and not much better than demons in the way they treat humans. And it’s interesting that Castiel, the rebel angel, is the only one we see who truly made sure his vessel consented (then, well, shit happens, but let’s focus on the first possession). Though even the first possession can be seen differently: we can even wonder if Cas’ process to get his “yes” (approaching Jimmy with the intention of making him his vessel and building trust accordingly) isn’t very similar to grooming - and then, is this case even truly consensual?

What s4 shows us, is that while angels do require some sort of agreement, this one can be pretty similar to the one crossroad demons do where a “yes” doesn’t have to be a full, enthusiastic, i’m-so-down-with-everything-about-this yes. So... do angels truly care about consent?

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Angels seem to be physically unable to possess someone without consent, and to me it seems like it’s the only reason they care.

For angels as well as demons, a “no” isn’t definite and can always be changed. Whereas a “yes” seals the deal, and once possessed it’s difficult, to say the least, to change your mind and kick the angel out. That’s what we see with Gadreel and Sam: even once Sam is aware of the possession and refuses it, he still has to fight his way for his will to be recognized. And then his consent is only doing a difference because Gadreel has no other choice but to take it into account when they literally fight over Sam’s own body.

Unlike actual contracts which always allow cases in which it can be broken, there is no way to get out of a demon deal (as shown through s3 portrayal of Dean’s and Bela’s arcs). You can try to make deals over deals, but it’s never an actual back tracking (except when Bobby got his soul back iirc? Through blackmail so…).

We find a similar dynamic in angels: when Dean agrees to be possessed by Michael, he does so by stating it’s only until Lucifer’s dead. But Michael is able to take control over him anyway. The deal was never a fair one, wasn’t a mutual agreement: Michael always had the upper hand in it as agreeing to possession means giving control of your body and your mind - so losing control of yourself.

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Angels in spn aren’t truly about protecting humans, as we’re shown through Cas’s character arc & doubts. What they are about is maintaining a status quo, making sure the story unfolds As It Should, because that’s just How It Is. In that sense, their idea of consent can be understood as a mere tool to save face: make it look like people have a choice in the matter when truly, they don’t, because angels have enough power to pressure a “yes”.

The idea of “we need you to be willing” is a way to pretend there’s no power imbalance between angels and humans, but there is. And then we can wonder - can there be consent in such a dynamic?

I feel like the difference between angels & demons, when it comes to consent, is that demons don’t pretend to not have nor take the power over humans. Hell is literally a monarchy ; they’re not shying away from admitting they’re an individualistic business. Whereas Heaven, as a bureaucracy, dulls the power until it’s barely visible (both to humans & other angels) so they can better maintain their public order.

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The specific case of Gadreel mostly highlights all these ideas, while also raising the question of who can consent for whom? And if the concept of consent can be (ab)used and its lines get moved. But what’s to gain from these grey areas, from moving the lines?

Gadreel doesn’t truly care about Sam’s consent when he asks Dean to trick Sam. He uses angel possession to hide himself, and possessing Sam is all about that goal. It’s not even about owning Sam’s body, about getting a vessel like Lucifer wanted to. Gadreel is straight up using Sam’s body & mind.

That’s a very angel thing to do imo. Following rules but make them yours, bend them to your/God’s will. Rules, in Heaven, become less about restriction and more about power: who orders and who follows? And if what you’re doing doesn’t break the rules, then there’s no use to punish and nothing wrong with it.

SO WHAT?

Honestly I don’t truly have a conclusion. Consent is shown as something important which should be respected. It is also a strong theme through angels & demons, and the ways in which consent can be twisted and abused.

I do love to read it as a direct portrayal of the ambiguity of consent in our own capitalist & patriarchal society, very likely unintentional. It’s truly an interesting material to get multiple layers on the topic.

There isn’t a clear “consent is” or “consent should be” stance that spn takes. It’s way more about how the meaning of consent is changed and twisted depending on one’s moral and goals. Which lead me to wonder: could we define consent outside of power dynamics? What is consent, then, if not a power tool?

#spn meta #spn #supernatural meta #supernatural #spn takes #I WENT SO OFF ANYWAY #and there's still a lot to say on the topic like if i could study the way the consent issue is addressed #depending on the years and social context......... #i'm missing doing papers for uni can you tell? #i'm not even kidding lmao anyway if you've read all this......... i hope you have a very good day #and i hope it was interesting #for real it's not THAT long and i tried to cut it so it's easy to read #as a person who can't read huge junk of paragraphs myself

[austennerdita2533]

Hi! I would love to hear your seven favorite Luke/Lorelai episodes? Some of mine: Double Date, That Damn Donna Reed, Run Away Litl Boy, The Ins and Outs of Inns, The Incredible Shrinking Lorelais...I could pick like 25 just off the top of my head, but it's interesting how many of my favorites come from before they were actually dating! (They're an OTP for me no matter what, but I did prefer how LL were written---and how pretty much everything about the show was written---in the first four seasons over the final three and the revival!)

I love, love, love the first four seasons of Gilmore Girls! I rewatch them the most, honestly. I think they're my favorite partly because Luke and Lorelai have so many great scenes/episodes together.

Here are a few of my favorite L&L episodes. There are way more than seven because it's so hard for me to narrow them down lmao.

Pilot 1x01. They had me at "Junkie." "Angel. You've got wings, baby."

1x10 Forgiveness and Stuff. I love how he tries to cheer her up with the Santaburger, drops everything to rush her to the hospital, handles Emily like a pro, and then they also have that cute "you know you always look good" convo in the hallway. Lorelai gifts him his trademark blue hat in this one, too!

1x12 Double Date. They flirt, they play cards. My face always morphs into 😩 mode when Mrs. Kim bursts in and interrupts them. HE. GETS. SO. CLOSE. TO. ASKING. HER. OUT. WHYYYYY.

1x14 That Damn Donna Reed. Whenever I think of this episode, I can see Lorelai pulling Luke into her house by his puffy green vest *swoons* and then can hear him saying, "There really is a chick loose in here!"

2x07 Like Mother, Like Daughter. She gets so jealous when she sees him talking to that Chilton mom. "Date her, marry her, make her Mrs. Backwards Baseball cap, see if I care!"

2x08 The Ins and Outs of Inns. How can I not love this episode when we find out Luke was a Trekkie?

2x10 The Bracebridge Dinner. The sleigh ride! It's about the ambiance and the intimacy of them being snuggled up, thigh-against-thigh, beneath a blanket.

3x07 They Shoot Gilmores, Don't They? They have that lovely discussion at the dance marathon about wanting more kids while he's fixing her shoe. All of the foreshadowing was there, dammit!

3x17 A Tale of Poes and Fire. I love that Luke and Lorelai are basically finagled into a forced proximity trope because the inn catches fire. She has to spend the night at his place. She's in the bed, he's on the couch. Then she tells him about the dream she had earlier in the season about being pregnant with his twins. I just--it's so cuuute. 😭

4x05 The Fundamental Things Apply. Their first movie night! It's essentially an undate date. A precursor to them becoming a couple and finding things to do/share together, even though neither one of them realizes it yet.

4x11 In The Clamor and Clangor. I will never be over them sneaking into the church together to break the bells. It's iconic! It's also snowing, which just sets the mood. And then that whole "why don't you want me to move" conversation is so emotionally and sexually CHARGED. I die of feels every time I watch it. Die.

4x21 Last Week Fights, This Week Tights. Luke. Can. Waltz. That's all I gotta say.

4x22 Raincoats and Recipes. He brings her flowers. She's so nervous and giddy she faceplants into a door. What's not to love? Also, I can honestly say that I think Luke and Lorelai have one of the best first kiss scenes of any show I've ever watched. Their bickering pre-kiss is just so quintessentially THEM. It's perfectly in-character, so believable and funny. Like, I love that Luke gets so fed up, so overwhelmed with feeling because whoa! she reciprocates!, that he can't help but bark "will you just stand still" before wrapping her in his arms and planting one on her, FINALLY, after years of pining. It's like all the unresolved tension they've accumulated over the years reaches a boiling point that busts the lid clean off in that moment. I love it so much!

5x03 Written in the Stars. Their first official date. He's "all in" and I will never get over the fact that he kept that horoscope in his wallet for 8 years. Proof he is sentimental at heart!

5x12 Wedding Bell Blues. They were so precious and in love this episode, despite Hurricane Christopher blowing in to ruin everything.

7x13 I'd Rather be in Philadelphia. Lorelai's married to Christopher, which is extremely painful for my L&L-loving heart, but the way Luke shows up for her after Richard has his heart attack despite everything they've been through as a couple speaks volumes. It's EVERYTHING. There's nothing he wouldn't do to make her happy, to bring her comfort. Nothing. It doesn't matter if they're together or not together. He's always there for her. Always, always there. It's unconditional. I like to think that's the moment she realizes she'll always love him, that she's still in love with him. (She should've BYE FELICIA'D Christopher right then and there.)

#anonymous #replies #the loveliest of lovely people #ashlee bree's gilmore girls babbling is infinite #idk why i annotated my selections #but i did