#she’s also adhd so she gets me

[sawtrappedirl]

Do you guys know how embarrassing it was telling my English professor about Re-Animator. This is why I should never get asked what I like unless you are prepared for a conversation as long as the Fitness Gram Pacer Test Audio. I was literally jumping up and down and waving my arms. This is fr why no one takes me seriously. Bro acting like a kid who just got ice cream. I was giggling so much too. Embarrassing. At least she’s a fan now!!

#for context I was thinking about writing about the homosexual undertones of re animator for my research paper and I was telling her abt it #I ended up info dumping and going on a tangent about it for like 40 minutes straight #I was so joyous #she said she’s going to watch them now bc it sounds interesting #she’s queer and has a wife #she’s also adhd so she gets me #these movies mean so much to me you have no idea #reanimator 1985 #reanimator #bride of reanimator #reanimator herbert west #herbert west #dan cain #daniel cain #danbert

[mazeyphaedra]

was rewatching fabian’s baron moment on account of it being the most delicious piece of pvp in my recent memory and ally beardsley’s growth as a player just shone through so brightly and with such clarity. after dusting off their shock they immediately asked about the nemesis ward, had enough knowledge about fellow pcs stocked to remember adaine’s ac with such like frustrated confidence and certainty, suggested to siobhan to dimension door out of adaine’s room, like. they came into this making a character with 4 dex. and now the dice deity offered to roll a check to sense if adaine was in danger. making decisions, asking questions, getting invested in the story, trying so hard with the tools they have to save characters from danger; ally beardsley is an incredible d&d player.

#blahblah tried to fly with a ribbon dancer SHUT UP. SHUT UP THEY HAD A VISION. #margaret encino’s call to the guards in battle of the brands is also a good moment #‘bonus action pick up a turtle and kiss it’ is CHARMING and FUNNY and APPRECIATES the art team #i swearrr to god if anyone comments abt them trying to railroad other players' actions. what the fuck do you want from them. #u hate when they play kristen as unserious when she’s literally a teenager with adhd + when theyre literally a comedian on a d&d comedy sho #but if theyre invested in other pc’s welfare youll shut them down too? bffr #ally beardsley you are so special to me #fully aware theyre an adult who likely does not care about people on the internet talking abt how theyre doing their job. as they should #they dont need defending they shouldnt need it people should just be normal abt them and until they are beardsley get behind me #yna.txt #fantasy high junior year spoilers #fhjy spoilers #fantasy high junior year #fhjy #dimension 20 #d20 #ally beardsley

[angelboybreakdowns]

ppl will say “i hate being seen with you in public because you stand funny and wear your headphones all the time and talk too loud” and then get all defensive when you say thats ableist

#ppl being my sister #like explain to me again how thinking my visible autistic traits are inherently embarrassing is not ableist? #she also said that autistic people in general are annoying #again while getting upset when i said that was ableist #i even word it really carefully so she cant accuse me of saying that she is ableist #but no the girl is just aggressively against admitting she has any kind of bias at all ever #autism #actually autistic #autistic #neurodivergent #actually neurodivergent #adhd #autism/adhd #actuallyautistic #actually adhd #neurodivergence #autistic experiences #tw ableism

[marblerose-rue]

click for better quality!!

here are my full designs for these two <3

#my art #do not copy trace or steal #dovewing #ivypool #warriors #waca #wc art #warrior cats #IF I CAN FIND MY OLD IVYPOOL DESIGN. ill do a silly comparison bc i have dovewings old design and i can compare her old + new designs but i #cant do that with ivys </3 #i meant to do this earlier but we had to run emergency errands #what if i claimed both of them for the autism adhd nation. bc i already did #OK SO technically the first book that got me into warriors was the tigerstar and sasha comic #BUT REALLY my first Actual Book was the fourth apprentice i lovewing dovewing so much #im planning on rereading some of the books this fall bc i associate this weather were getting with warriors and i have like 30 of the books #before my grandma passed she would always save the wc books that got donated for me <3 i wish she wouldve read them too bc she loved cats #just as much as i did #me saying im not gonna do anything w ocs was a lie i was on tiktok earlier and saw a few funny screenshots so im recreating them w mrb #whether or not i post them is up to future me . aka me in a few hours . but i would also like to eat supper before doing anything else #i love turning my tags into my diary you all have to read all of the thoughts that plague my mind AHKDNBFHBDFG #also me giving dove super heterochromia is a way to dodge the eye color thing. she has green eyes <3 when i read the books growing up #she had green eyes in my head . and my mind designs for the cats r different from my drawn designs #bc my mind designs r super boring tbh. just normal cats with nothing fun going on #OK now im posting for realsies

[seraphsfire]

oh my GOD i finlaly got to the place in neil's stream where the character he invented is banging the character he invented and she (player character) picks up astarion to do some Adult Fantasy Game things and neil just blurts out "oooh, mommy?" ,MSDFOIWYHEGTHSDHSG

#NEIL IS SUCH A BAD BOY #ALSO HE MENTIONED BOTH HIM AND TOM HAVING ADHD I CALLED IT SO HARD #POOR THEO SOLOMON HAVING TO SEE THIS SHIT KSKDFJSHDGHG #neil newbon #bg3 #bg3 spoilers #tbd? #neil: this is getting a little wierd even for me / also neil: MOMMY? oh wait she's/im kind of hot .... omg look at astarions abs... #starting to think he wants to make a neil sandwich with each of them on either side #he did call astarion 'my boyfriend' last stream rip #its ok king i see u its how everybody with bi/pan panic feels in this game

[essektheylyss]

I am almost 29 years old and I am NOT sorry for the person I am going to be every week watching a real life actual GOOD Percy Jackson and the Olympians show.

#pjo #honestly I am very ;-; annabeth was legit the single most relatable character to me of all time as a child #and so many more kids are gonna get to have the same experience!!! SHE IS PERFECT AAAAAA #also very funny being like. ah yes. I do now have an adhd diagnosis. yeah that tracks.

[nattousan]

when

whe you, when You were just trying to put i n some extra effort to try adn improve yoursel f and it got misinterpreted as malicious n u get yell ed at

#i'm slow as SHIT at carving the wax when making the dentures #equally bc of time blindness and being meticulous #i am VERY aware of how slow i am and have been working my ass off to try and improve #so when i got told AGAIN that i needed to pick things up #i asked my sis who is also a lab tech how she carves her wax #so she vid called me on lunch to show me how she does it #SO TO TRY AND SHOW MY TRAINER THAT I WAS TRYING TO IMPROVE #i go #oh! my sister suggests i do this and that to improve! #and she gets SUPER MAD AT ME #she GROWLS #LISTEN #you can't keep calling your sister for every little thing #(i'd only done this one other time) #I'M your trainer NOT her #you need to STOP being so damn meticulous and just Pay Attention #and i've tried being patient with you but you need to pick it up #and i was just like #*see above image* #she did apologize later but i think she thought i was like.... #trying to undermine her somehow?? #by seeking outside help?? #bc i'm neurodivergent and asking someone who knows how my brain works?? #i know she was just having a bad day probably but having adhd means #Rejection Sensitivity Dysphoria #and so i went home like #aheem aheem whimper #nat chats #moi loif #neurodivergent

[naamahdarling]

.

#my psych who prescribes my psych meds is a resident and is moving on in a couple of months #i don't even remember the names of them all at this point #this happens over and over and I cannot find a clinic that will put me with someone who intends to stay #thst will also prescribe my adhd meds #and my anxiety meds #and the real kicker is that twice now they have LIED about it and said they would #only to reveal after all the hoop-jumping that oops sorry they didn't really mean it #so it's a risk i have to take any time i leave #and rhen there's the issue of new people almost always wanting to DO something #but instead of talking to me about it they just decide that my meds need overhauling and pressure me to go off shit that works #but that they morally object to i guess #and my psych for some stupid reason has decided she wants bloodwork for my cholesterol and blood sugar stuff and im just like #what hell does THIS presage because if she harasses me about the results or tries to put me on drugs for that #I'll give her a nasty scrap about it #im not interested in those meds at all #and im certainly not messing with my diet since food is the only pleasure i get most days and even that is marginal at best #and removing that would just make me worse #but medpros for the most part really don't give a fuck about that #and so now im afraid - because i do not and cannot trust them - that if i disapprove of the meds they will retaliate somehow #which good luck proving that when management and oversight often don't even care if they course of treatment will HARM you #if it relates to being fat or having bad numbers #they just gotta pathologize! #so yeah im sick of everything and just kind of want to bury myself in a bog forever #i shouldn't have to deal with this

[b4kuch1n]

Your swsh art always makes me want to replay the game because i love it and its my favorite pokemon game and every time i play another pokemon game i think of it how i miss certain elements from swsh. Then i boot up the game and im once again caught in the 1 hour 40 minutes hand held intro and im like ah- now i remember why i have been playing other pokemon games instead of this one. Happy (late?) birthday!

you don't want to listen to hop? you don't want to hear him teach you about type matchups? you don't wanna let him cheer u on...? 🥺 waa....?

#ask #bakuspeech #I am joking to be clear lmao #thank u happy bday to me !! #tbh I got real used to pokemon overexpositioning since sumo lol. it's kind of a boon for me #cause I'm not a Gamer™ and my brain takes stuff on Very slowly #so the tutorial stuff and the cutscenes give me time to catch up. also it's still fun to see these guys run around #I am in fact here for these guys lol. weird thing to say about the game built on and with an essential focus on the pokemon I know #I just like humans! I just like watching hop running circles around my player character all excited #and leon being a dick to his hometown people when they're expecting 'leon' back and they get the champion instead #and you get to see sonia used to dealing with it but the frustration never fully fades and how close she is to hop and that picture's bleak #listen this is my bread&butter lol. leon really doesn't show up That much himself around the game he's a shadow casted over the story #it's always interesting to me! does Not mean it's not sluggish to other people who want to play the game lmao #but I like it. also the tutorial at least the first time around was necessary to me bc the difficulty scales way up later on lol #it's a very good first pokemon game I maintain this. sumo never managed to teach me the same way swsh did #I still care drampa tho thank u drampa for being real I love u #lmao it feels like saying I'm not a Gamer™ violates some tenets of having adhd somehow. but its just the case here #the main genres I play are 'itch games tangential to the haunted ps1 people' and 'popcap-style casual games' #my sport's figuring out shapes n movin my stylus sadly. well not sadly why would that be sad

[nascenticity]

i have seen a lot of headcanons (& fics!) about bucky doing crochet or knitting that i LOVE but i also need everyone to consider --

steve watching his mother doing irish crochet; maybe she even teaches him some simple things when he's sick and needs something to occupy him so he'll sit still and rest; its a creative outlet for sarah and that artistic streak is something she and steve share almost a century later, crochet comes back into fashion with millennials and gen-z, and steve looks up a youtube tutorial. he doesn't have many physical things left from his mom; but he can make some stuff that she would have loved and it helps him feel close to her.

#marvel #steve rogers #bucky barnes #stucky #ive been thinking about this a LOT lately #ive been looking at a lot of vintage crochet patterns lately and it had me thinking about sarah rogers and the fact that this would 100% #have been something she was exposed to/taught as a young girl. ofc as a single mother she wouldn't have had a lot of free time. #but making little things here and there as a hobby is far from out of the question #also since i hc steve as neurodivergent (adhd and possibly autistic) its entirely possible sarah was too #and crochet is just. such a good stim. #also lots and lots of headcanons about steve getting bored when he was sick #sitting in bed is BORING and im sure at least a few sketchbooks were filled that way #but maybe also a mother who is desperate to get her small child to calm down so his body can heal. will go “hey wanna see what i'm making?” #ik everyone has headcanons about bucky doing traditionally feminine stuff and sees steve as more traditionally masculine #bc that was gatekept from him bc of his disabilities #but let me have this

[lesbiansanemi]

I hate when I’ll be complaining about some stupid bullshit a coworker does to other coworkers and half the time their response is to lower their voice and go “well…. You know…. I’m pretty sure they’re… on the spectrum, you know?” And every time I have a split second when I have to consider saying “you know I’m autistic, right?” just to make them vaguely uncomfortable for a few minutes and actually think about what they’re implying but of course I do not do that because the gratification is not worth a large sect of shitty coworkers knowing that about me and then talking about me like that every time I do something vaguely annoying or dumb but man…. It does get tempting sometimes

#like idk!!! sometimes the coworkers in question DO display some common autistic traits #but that is NEVER what is being complained about (at least not by me) so WHY are we bringing it up like that el oh el #like when I say ‘yeah I don’t like this coworker because of the shitty fucking things she did to my friend’ #the response should not be ‘well I think she’s autistic isn’t that so funny she’s so obsessive about stuffed animals it’s annoying’ #shut up shut up SHUT UP AND DIE #I don’t CARE that they talk too loud I don’t CARE that they’re bad a social cues I don’t CARE that they do ‘weird things’ #and it’s so. HFDJSJKSKSKS AAAGGHHHHH #whether they’re autistic or not MAYBE that’s not what should be getting brought up during a conversation like that when it has NOTHING to do #with it #also maybe we shouldn’t be doing shit like whispering ‘on the spectrum’ like its some awful terrible thing #just thoughts idk #and the thing is too is that even if I told these ppl I was autistic #they would 100% be the types that are like ‘oh? but you don’t ACT autistic I don’t think you are’ #like actually I got very good at masking for these reasons thnx #also you think autism = Sheldon from the Big Bang theory and nothing else #but I already learned my lesson cuz I told a coworker that I wasn’t sure about exactly twice #one of them went ‘oh THATS why you’re so dumb and don’t realize when other ppl don’t like you and take advantage of you’ #and then the other one went on a mansplaining spiel about how me being autistic was why adhd meds didnt work on me?????? #so yeah. never doing that again. haha. hahahaha. hahahaha…… #this actually happened a few days ago but it’s been Bothering me so much #I hate my fucking job…. #kaz rambles

[8rujaa]

my therapist really saved me….

#tw abuse // tw sa #i can’t sleep bc i keep thinking about this. #like i probably would’ve not been here if it weren’t for her #i started seeing her january of 2023… my life has changed entirely since then and she was definitely the one who got the ball rolling #literally so much has changed since then and it’s all because of her #i was so dissociated during our first few sessions #thanks to her i was able to get diagnosed and medicated for adhd. i was able to realize i was in an abusive situation and plan a way out #i was able to focus on myself and my healing and she’s helped me reframe so much of my negative thinking #i was able to process a lot of emotions and become a better version of myself with each session #she’s truly incredible. #i remember the first comment she made about the relationship had been ‘’so it’s like there’s an imbalance of control in the relationship’’ #i had put my partners on such a high pedestal that i had no idea they could be doing anything wrong #and i asked her what she meant and she said ‘from what you’ve been describing it’s sounds like a strict parents and child type of dynamic’ #she told me they didn’t need to understand why i wanted to leave and they didn’t need to make that decision. if that’s what was going to be #best for me the only thing i could do is let them know my reasoning and simply leave. i didn’t need their permission.’’ #i remember being so confused at that realization bc like… i had been putting their emotions over mine the whole time i had forgotten simply #doing what’s best for me was an option… l #ever since then i’ve been putting myself first and it’s been a steady uphill from rock bottom… i’ve made an incredible amount of progress #when i first started with her getting out of bed and walking to the kitchen was incredibly difficult and took all my strength. #yesterday i conquered a mountain!!!!!!! i hiked all the way to the top!!!!! :D #me a year ago thought it was going to take me years and years to recover. as soon as i left i made leaps of progress #im incredibly proud of myself and grateful for her. and my reiki lady she’s also been a great great help. #the silver lining is i realized who really matters. and the relationships i cared about deepened. #my sweet virgo friend was the one who was always like ‘THATS A GROWN ASS MAN WHO CANT UNDERSTAND BASIC CONSENT???’ #LMFAO i would be like ‘but he has trauma and bla bla bla’ she looked me dead in the eyes and said #’jess you said with your last boyfriend that you would never make excuses for a man who was hurting you again. stop defending him.’ #she’s really a gem and i treasure her with my life. i hope she knows i love her. she’s family at this point #she’s also literally saved my life before (like deadass called 911 for help) #im glad i had the support system i had. that was a rough situation with so many layers and im glad i got through it #my 22nd year of life was by far the worst of my life and i don’t ever want to put myself in that situation again. im glad i learned.

[rackartyg]

in therapy today i just talked about the dark urge and astarion and my therapist was elated about it. it was fantastic. “wow you’ve really been using this story and those characters to process things. that’s amazing!”

the era of being ashamed of my interests is over. it’s apparently Cool and Healthy to use fiction to cope. i wish i could tell fifteen year old me about this it would blow her mind

#she speaks #arctic plays bg3 #bad brains blogging #you’re gonna have to pry SFF from my cold dead hands because ‘this creature is not human but nonetheless a person’ is THE most #important thing ever actually #i love taking my feelings and experiences and externalising and concretising them through metaphor #my favourite thing about astarion is how he both has literal cptsd AND metaphorically through his vampirism #that fucking rules #also shoutout to another thing therapist said today: #she was originally sceptical of my potentially having autism #then she was like ‘ok you have some traits but you’re probably not diagnosable’ #then today she was like ‘you make so much sense when one thinks of you through the lense of autism’ #amen sister i’ve been right there with you #but now i’m getting my second assessment soon! which won’t change anything about me i am and will be ‘tism-y regardless #but it’s going to be interesting to see what happens #also i told her about my WISC scores and she was like ‘jesus christ tell them to evaluate you for adhd too’ so uhhh #they already screened me for that and i believe i tested negative but let’s see #the WISC score was why i was even referred for an assessment so

[lucysweatslove]

Finally back home!

So the “testing” was literally a brief 30 min convo where she asked some clarifying questions from my intake form and then I did the WAIS-IV. That’s it, just the WAIS. The psychologist did tell me though that she isn’t interpreting my scores on the typical IQ scale but is looking at how my own scores compare to each other. The psychometrist was taking times I think in between lines and for each problem, so I’m curious if they will be looking at how I fatigue and my error rate as time goes on for some tasks like the processing speed ones.

I also hate the general knowledge questions because how tf am I supposed to know the circumference of the earth around the equator in this setting if I have never not once heard it? I tried doing the fermi problem way of rationalizing it but I couldn’t quite scale what I know to be ~300 mi to the equator in my head. Whatever. And like. I give 0 shits about any European historical monarchy (or history in general- why bother remembering specifics when the internet exists) so my brain has pruned any of that information I may have gotten 15 years ago and thus I couldn’t tell you that stuff. I always hate how it’s administered because I have a VAST knowledge of anything sciency (you know, things I’m interested in) but nah if you cant remember who one monarch was and then can’t remember a geography question then who cares how much science info you’ve retained.

Anyway I was expecting that computer based attention test but nope just intelligence testing. And I won’t find out concrete results for 3 more weeks so I’ll see the NP before then. I was hoping to get some answers and be on a first trial medicine before I go to my rural site (one month from today) but I guess probably not. And I guess that’s also if they see patterns of ADHD in me. Which they might as I tend to do poorly on processing speed and working memory tests, I just don’t know if the effect size will be large enough for them to agree that yes I have adhd.

#it sucks because I’ve already been diagnosed twice #my personal therapist who is also a PhD even told me that she will talk to the NP and neuropsychologist about her observations #because I am so classically inattentive type per DSM that it’s ridiculous to put me through all of this #the second person diagnosed me after a clinical interview as well and I think that was just further clarity and assurance #like to say yes multiple people agree on this diagnosis #even my new NP thinks it’s likely but is getting this FOURTH opinion bc??? idk??? #maybe it’s bc I have a history of depression but the WAIS isn’t going to tease out ADHD vs depression vs autism #like all 3 will lead to decreased in working memory and processing speed #because shockingly (sarcasm) all 3 can cause issues with executive functioning

[nezzling]

I promise I'll go back to being funny and hot soon, my ass ain't the only thing that's sick af

#chronic illness and fatigue can bite my asssssss and they often do lol #tbf my immune system went all out of wack after two rounds of covid a stomach ulcer and a hysterectomy #and now whatever the fuck this is which appears to be a complication from the antibiotics from the uti? #that or its just completely coincidental he said lol mystery illness woo #i have a couple of days off work so ill just sleep and try eat good food and also take my medsssss cause she keeps forgetting #when i cant eat i dont wanna take the adhd meds purely bc i get nausea and throw up on an empty tummy #ironically the meds make me not want to eat bc its an appetite suppressant #lil rambles

[arsonist-chicken]

hehehe fourth day in a row I've slept until 5pm because I fucked up my sleep rhythm staying up until 7am but probably more likely because of the ✨curses✨, but at least today I finally saw some sunlight again by walking to the store to still make it before they close. this is fine.

#the curses are mental illness aka depression or whatever idk man just give me some energy to be able to live my everyday life #i mean i thought i was getting sick on tuesday evening so i already planned to not go to uni on wednesday #also because i hadn't done a presentation but i really thought i was getting sick too #and it's been downhill from then #the last two nights i said to myself at lik 6am i'll sleep four hours now until 10 so i have the day to work and then can actually sleep #normal again but either i didn't hear my alarm or i turned it off and woke up again when it was still light outside #but close enough to already the sun setting that i was not gonna get any sun #the psychologist who did my adhd exam said i could start treatment with her but i'm a little wary of that #since my insurance still hasn't let me know if they'd partly cover that or if she's not in that system. idk how it works. #and also she's a psychologist not a psychotherapist #and no offense to my friend but i saw my friend studying psychology and becoming a psychologist after she finished her degree #and I don't think she'd be educated at all to actually offer therapy #she just does evaluations and such now but no therapy #and damn if I'm going to spend my emergency money on therapy because well it's not covered here then i at least want it to actually work #and actually be therapy. like working on the adhd and depression; not just an adhd coaching #that would have helped when i was in school or just starting uni but by now i definitely also need therapy for the depression that evolved #from all the issues. also maybe just brain chemistry idk. #mine