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#sickroom
cutehomeart · 10 months
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There are artworks that are simply pleasing to the eye, and then there are those that reach out, seize you by the heartstrings, and refuse to let go. Enter the realm of Edvard Munch—a painter who turned his most personal traumas into universal human experiences. His masterpiece, "Death in the Sickroom," serves as an intense focal point to understand his powerful and emotive approach to painting.
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qppnvwlomnfq9 · 1 year
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Teen gay sexjamaica Public gay sex 【Compilation #7】Japanese Femdom / Edging Handjob / Tease and Denial / Ruined Orgasm / Nipple Play Novinha mostrando os peitinhos Chubby amateur wears glasses for solo jerk off Big round ass anal milf xxx Cory Chase in Revenge On Your Father Petite brunette babe shows domination in a blind sex Comedor sergipano e loira casada safada Bi stud doggystyled during pussylicking skinny twink anal fucking Rabudo dando o cu de calcinha
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and y'all toDAY my needles slipped and i made an entire hat!! holy shit!! i'm on such a roll!!
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countesspetofi · 5 months
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I've been sick in bed, watching old game shows, and I swear every single contestant says, "I'm married to a wonderful man, and we have two beautiful children." Just once, what wouldn't I give to hear one of them say, "I'm married to a complete rat bastard, and we have two horrible demon spawn."
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antimonyantigone · 1 year
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Death in the Sickroom Edvard Munch (Norwegian, 1863–1944)
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leapyearkisses · 2 years
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Hey Snzblr
Anyone got any info on how snz was treated in (fantasy) ancient Chi/na? I know blessing is not a thing, but I am interested in knowledge about customs surrounding contagion, etiquette for nobles, how illness was spoken about socially, etc.
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vmprlo · 6 months
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i owe my life to scanners
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lemuseum · 2 years
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arithmonym · 27 days
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do you think, in her most uncharitable moments, camilla ever blamed gideon for palamedes' death? not as a rational thought of course, and i'm sure she felt bad about it, but in the depths of the grief and pain and desperation - might it have been easier to place blame on the girl who kept her from getting to her heart before he went supernova and left her to collect the shards of his skull?
because camilla knew where palamedes had likely run off to after that fight. she had lost sight of him which was inexcusable but she had a target for which to aim as soon as the ninth stopped asking questions, except that gideon asked to go after him first; gideon asked for a moment alone with him, for camilla to watch over harrow while the latter got her sword, and then ran off to meet palamedes alone in the hall outside cytherea's room just before he went and killed himself. and camilla let her.
do you think pal would have paralyzed her if camilla had been there? do you think he could have? if gideon had just let cam go with her, if cam had just gone against gideon's requests and followed, she would have seen his face one last time, even if the result still ended up the same...
... anon, how could you do this to me.
i think palamedes would’ve paralyzed camilla if she’d been there, even if the guilt of forcing her to witness his death firsthand would kill him a second time. to me, it echoes the line in nona the ninth where john says that g— wouldn’t have armed the nuke if p— was in range; palamedes wouldn’t have exploded himself if camilla was in the blast radius.
if multiple people were in the hallway outside of dulcinea's sickroom, i'm not sure whether palamedes would’ve had the power to restrain them all! but if camilla was there in gideon's place and it was a 1:1 replacement, i think things would’ve shaken out as in canon—except camilla might have been tempted to run towards the explosion, rather than away from it, when palamedes died and dropped the theorem holding her in place.
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wasco · 1 year
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To love something is to be afraid
The Last of Us (s01e03) // A Little Life (Hanya Yanigahara) // The Hunger Games (dir. Gary Ross) // War of the Foxes (Richard Siken) // Edmund gets Stabbed - Narnia (dir. Andrew Addamson) // Emily Dickinson // Death in the Sickroom (Edvard Munch) // Fleabag (Created by Phoebe Waller Bridge) // SKAM (Created by Julie Andem)
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a-libra-writes · 1 year
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If you don’t mind, may I request headcanons for the lackadaisy characters reacting to the reader(GN) saving them by taking a bullet that was going to hit them and almost dies from it?
GN reader, most of these imply the reader and character are in a romantic relationship or at least close. obvs mentions of injury, blood, morphine, hospitals etc and the angst that follows! Our kitties arent doing well :(
♣️Rocky - The fact you took a bullet for him is ... a lot. That takes processing, something Rocky isn't good at. It ends up manifesting as a long, drawn-out anxiety attack that gives him jitters, a little dissociation and mild mania. Eventually the Arbogasts asks Freckle to just get him out of the house and do something with him; they'd call when you woke up. When you're awake, the tabby is making his usual quips and chatter, but his off-kilter mood is obvious to even your morphine-addled mind. Rocky's more disheveled than usual and clearly hasn't slept. His shirt still has blood on it - your blood.
He's is ready to go absolutely feral on the person who did this, channeling all his fear and guilt into a single plan of revenge. He's so full of this manic energy that it's hard for him to keep still, let alone eat or sleep. But first! You're awake! Even if it's clear he's unwell, he's trying to smile and assure you that you'll be back on your feet in no time! So don't you worry, he and Freckle will take care of it. No amount of exhausted arguing will divert him from this.
You're stuck in bed for days, so you don't know exactly what happens. It's up to Freckle to tell you, as he went along with his cousin - but he's tight lipped about it, and fidgety, like always. Once that's dealt with, Rocky's fixating switches to fussing over you. And his heart is in the right place, but ... he's exhausted, all that lack of sleep and emotional turmoil catching up. Eventually he just passes out on the bed and you let him curl up at your side for a while. Rocky's excellent company (and a questionable nurse) in the following weeks. He has plenty of stories, music and chatter to keep you occupied.
♣️Freckle - He is, uh, not coping with this well. At all. He jumps to action to shoot whoever did this... Several times, and keeps shooting long after they're dead. He doesn't stop until his cousin calls out to him. Freckle is in something of a daze on the way to the back-alley doctor - wow, people have a lot of blood in their body, but now it's all over you - and doesn't start throwing up until the bullet gets pulled out of you.
He's sent out of the makeshift operating room because even Rocky can tell he won't cope with it. How could he? Isn't this his fault? Maybe if he reacted sooner, it wouldn't have happened. The poor guy is sleepless for days and consumed with too much guilt to visit until he's all but dragged in your sickroom by Ivy. Freckle fidgets often and struggles to look into your eyes - it goes a long way to just reassure him and promise you aren't angry. He shot the bastard who did it, after all.
He visits most days, bringing soup (his mother seems to think you have a terrible flu?) and slowly, slowly talking more and relaxing. He has a better bedside manner than he thinks; Freckle's a fairly quiet companion and has a good idea of what you need. Changing your bandages makes him feel pretty awful, but he's a good help. If you decide to continue bootlegging after your recovery, he's extra jumpy and protective of you.
♣️Ivy - Ohhh nonononono no, this is not happening. She's grabbing your shoulders and yanking you toward her, ignoring the blood getting all over her. She's a mess and doesn't even think of the danger you're both in; the bullets and gunfire keeps on all around while she holds onto you and tries to pull you to safety. Small as she is, with pure determination and adrenaline, she makes it.
You don't remember much after that, but the girl's right in your face as you slowly come to. Ivy looks a complete mess; having been crying for the the last hour, and before that watching intently while a bullet was yanked out of you. At least she washed the blood off her arms, but the clothes she was wearing are utterly ruined. Ivy alternates between chattering apologies and quiet fidgeting, even if you're too loopy to respond properly.
Eventually she has some strings pulled to get you to a nice hospital, with no one asking questions. This whole situation alters her for the worse; she gets more frequent nightmares and struggles to focus in school. Nearly every day she comes by you bring you snacks and magazines and nice flowers for your room; sometimes seeming a little frantic, like she was trying to make up for something.
♣️Mitzi - She is furious. Someone told her when you woke up, and you hear her swishing dress and clacking heels rushing down the hall. Her eyes are red, her make up is ruined and she practically shakes you. Even though you're still full of morphine, she demands you promise to never, EVER do that again. Zib has to remind her that a) you're still drugged out of your mind and b) the bandages are getting bloody.
While she'd want you in a proper hospital, they'd ask too many questions. You stay in the apartment above the cafe. She's too squeamish (and guilty) to help change your bandages, but she does bring you food, some records to listen to, an extra pillow, and so on. It's obvious Mitzi struggles to talk casually, as if nothing happened. When you're sleeping, she'll sit at your bedside. If it seems like the wound - or maybe a dream? - is bothering you, she gently pets your hair until you settle.
♣️Viktor - He's only in shock for a few seconds before instinct and absolute fury takes over. The perpetrator is not alive for long, but their last moments are painful. Not that you're around to see it - you've longed passed out from bloodloss. The only thing keeping Viktor from totally rampaging is the awareness that you're in a critical condition.
His old soldier training takes over; he's able to push emotions aside and get you to Elsa, the only one he trusts with this situation. While you're being operated on, he's still stewing. If whoever is responsible still has friends or a leader around, well, that won't be the case for long. Mordecai considers stopping the big Slovak to make him see reason ... but just ends up helping him instead. 'Keeping him out of trouble', the shadowy man claims, but really he's just as angry.
Once you're awake and coherent, it takes Viktor a while to sit in with you. He's disheveled and tired, and has trouble meeting your eyes. His bedside manner is ... basically nonexistent, but earlier Elsa walked him through the basics of what foods are best and how the bandages need to be fixed. After this, he's adamant about not wanting you on jobs any more, even if you're recovering well. The fact you took the bullet for him is even worse, in his mind. He could've taken it; you should have let him take it.
♣️Zib - Nope, he's not okay. Definitely not coping well with this situation. It's bad enough he got involved in one gunfight, now a second and this happens? He wants to get the hell out of this speakeasy. Anyone can see how jittery he is. Zib alternates between smoking too much and avoiding your sickbed, or drinking too much and sleeping by your side. When it's two am and he's resting beside you and listening to your labored breathing, he really wishes he was shot instead.
He thinks he's pretty shit at caring for anyone, but he's actually not bad, especially when he's half-sober. Helping with the bandages gets him feeling queasy and guilty, but getting food and keeping you company isn't so bad. Now and then, he asks if you still want to hang around this place - what do you think about leaving, with him and the band? If you're a triggerman for Lackadaisy, why don't you reconsider? Is it really worth it? And so on.
Expect a lot of late-night discussions when he's restless and can't keep his mind wandering. What if you had died, what if you get sick like this, what if you just left with him? Where would you all go? More than once you've fallen asleep in the middle of his talking, but he doesn't mind.
♣️Atlas - Everything is spinning, but you can feel his arms around you. You don't realize how much blood has soaked through his suit. And for the first time, you hear him shout - his voice resonates through his chest as you rest against it.
Eventually you wake up in a hospital bed, though the blanket is something from home and there's flowers all over the windowsill - wait, is that a radio? The nurses don't say much, but you're also not in a state to talk. You aren't sure if it's been one day or many, but finally he visits. He looks more tired than you've seen him, and far more solemn. He puts his hand on your's and explains you'll be leaving the hospital soon and recovering in his manor, along with a live-in nurse. This is quite a shock if you two aren't married, but if you are, it's nice to go home again. The guest room is already set up with what you need.
You don't hear whatever came of that triggerman, though the Lackadaisy staff whisper about Viktor and Mordecai being away for some time. Atlas doesn't want you about the cafe or speakeasy anymore, or out on your own in general. It'll take time for you to recover, but even longer for his paranoia and agitation to lessen. He seems the same to his business associates and employees, but those who know him better ...
🏵Serafine - She only pauses for a moment, then jumps to action. Serafine doesn't have to say anything to Nico, he's already picking you up while she mows down whoever shot you. Outwardly she's calm, inwardly she's furious. At the gunman, at herself, at you. Well, they keep a doctor on call for this reason. Serafine holds you very carefully in the car ride to the hotel, alternating between talking about revenge and reassuring you that you'll be just fine. No need to fret.
Everything's fuzzy after that. Serafine isn't there when you awaken, but you're in her bed. If you're a girl, you're probably in her nightie, too (when did your clothes get changed?). There's warm food on the nightstand, enough morphine to take out an elephant and a little vase of flowers. It's like any other morning when you wake up in her bed, well. Except the drugs and the hole in your chest.
Eventually she comes back, with more food and a disturbingly calm demeanor. Whoever that gunner was, well, they're dealt with, and so is their boss. Isn't that good news, cher(ie)? You just rest up and you'll be back on your feet. The stitches are neat and the bandages aren't too tight - understandable, considering how much she was threatening the doctor. Nico tells you all about it later.
🏵Nico - He uh, probably manhandles you more than he should as he gets you into the car. He wants to retaliate - to bash in the gunman's head rather than put a bullet in it - but Nico knows a bad shot when he sees it. He grits his teeth and keeps you in his arms while Serafine floors it, not caring how much blood gets on his clothes or white coat.
As much as he wants to sit in on the operation, it makes him restless. So he settles for pacing in and out of the room, often reminding the doctor how unfortunate it'll be for him if something goes wrong. He's quietly boiling in the perpatrator, too; by the time you're bandaged and tucked in bed, he and his sister already have a plan of retaliation. While you're still doped up and asleep, he gives you a kiss on the brow and disappears to get the job done.
Once you come to, there's flowers on the nightstand and a maid coming in with room service. You stay in the Savoy's suite during your recovery; Nico only sleeps on the couch because he moves a lot in his sleep and doesn't want to disturb you (he still naps right by your side). He's not careful enough to help with changing bandages, but he's excellent company when you're bored. Nico only laughs when you bring up the gunman. Old news, he's taken care of it. He'll even share the grisly details.
🏵Mordecai - He doesn't react to the blood immediately. His mind tells him to clear the area first - but. That's a lot of blood. He's acutely aware the bullet was meant for him. The logical side starts to short-circuit once you're in the backseat of the car, bleeding all over the coat he wrapped around you. He knows how to put pressure on a wound, and he thinks he's staying calm, but he snaps viciously at Niko to stop screwing around and drive faster.
He bothers the doctor so much while they work - hovering, observing, commenting - he gets pulled out of the room. Whoever shot you is going to be dealt with, and whoever ordered the hit. Mordecai just wants to make sure you'll survive the next few hours, as that'll determine how he deals with them.
The first few days he's agitated and not sleeping well. Mordecai alternates between fussing and fixating on your wound, and bothering the hell out of whoever's looking after you. He really doesn't settle until the gunman is well and dead, and you're more coherent and talking. Expect lots of lecturing about how stupid it was for you to get in the way, how you need to fix the bandage this way or that, and have you been eating? When Mordecai's away, the Savoys like to come in and cackle about what he did to the gunman. They were also apparently given instructions by him not to bother you, which they gleefully ignore.
🏔Wick - He's completely frozen in place, stuck by distress and panic. It occurs to him to shout for help not when more bullets fly by, but when you start coughing up blood. He has enough wherewithal to get you to the hospital - somehow driving without crashing into anything - but once you're taken away, he just crumples. He's utterly distraught.
Once his mental faculties have recovered just enough to let him stand, he paces. And paces. The receptionist in the waiting room manages to get him to make a phone call; he tries to inform Lacy to just take the day off tomorrow, but the events of the evening all come spilling out. If you both were innocent bystanders in the incident, that's one thing, but if you were involved in some criminal business and that's what put Wick in the line of fire ... well, Lacy has some choice words for her hopelessly infatuated boss.
Once you're stable and resting, he finally allows himself to breathe. The receptionist all but shoves him home because he looks like a mess and he's frightening other patients. By the time you can accept visitors he's (somewhat) rested and bringing you flowers. There's still an awkwardness, so ... at some point, talking about everything is gonna have to happen. But Wick wants you to rest first, and he needs to figure out his own thoughts, without the whiskey.
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visit-new-york · 9 months
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Are there any interesting events or stories related to the construction of the Brooklyn Bridge?
The Brooklyn Bridge stands as an iconic symbol of engineering prowess, connecting the boroughs of Manhattan and Brooklyn in a testament to human ingenuity. However, behind its majestic silhouette lies a tapestry of captivating events and stories that unfolded during its construction. From tragic accidents to innovative engineering solutions, the history of the Brooklyn Bridge is as rich and intriguing as the structure itself.
The Visionary Engineer: John A. Roebling
The inception of the Brooklyn Bridge can be traced back to the vision of German-born engineer John A. Roebling. His dream was to create a bridge that would span the East River and provide a vital link between Manhattan and Brooklyn. Unfortunately, Roebling's life was cut short by a tragic accident during the bridge's preliminary survey in 1869. Despite this setback, his son, Washington Roebling, stepped up to fulfill his father's ambitious vision.
Washington Roebling's Struggle: Overcoming the Bends
Washington Roebling faced numerous challenges during the bridge's construction, none more formidable than the perilous conditions of working underwater. The construction required workers to descend into caissons, massive underwater chambers used to build the bridge's foundations. However, this came at a cost – the bends, a debilitating condition caused by rapid changes in pressure. Washington Roebling himself fell victim to the bends, but his determination led him to supervise the project from his sickroom using a telescope and a system of communication through his wife, Emily.
The Roebling Connection: Emily Roebling's Role in Completion
Following her husband's illness, Emily Roebling played a crucial role in overseeing the completion of the bridge. She became the de facto chief engineer, managing the day-to-day operations and communicating with engineers and workers. Emily Roebling's leadership and intelligence were instrumental in ensuring the project's success, making her an unsung hero in the construction of the Brooklyn Bridge.
The Great Roebling Feud: A Clash of Visions
The construction of the Brooklyn Bridge witnessed a clash of visions between Washington Roebling and his brother, Ferdinand Roebling. Ferdinand advocated for alternative engineering approaches, leading to a bitter feud that strained family relations. Despite the discord, the bridge continued to take shape, a testament to the unwavering commitment of those involved.
Innovations and Firsts: A Bridge of Many Milestones
The Brooklyn Bridge was a pioneering project that introduced several engineering innovations. It was the first bridge to use caissons on such a massive scale, and its cable design by John A. Roebling set new standards in bridge engineering. The completion of the bridge in 1883 marked the first time in history that Manhattan and Brooklyn were physically connected.
Conclusion:
The Brooklyn Bridge's construction is not just a story of bricks and steel; it's a narrative woven with tragedy, perseverance, and innovation. From the ambitious dreams of John A. Roebling to the indomitable spirit of Washington and Emily Roebling, each chapter of the bridge's history reveals the human side of monumental engineering achievements. As the Brooklyn Bridge continues to stand as a symbol of connection, its story remains etched in the annals of both engineering marvels and the human spirit.
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-Death in the sickroom-
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romanticizingmurder · 3 months
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Dustin Pearson, The World at its Beginning / Iphicles Saved from a Serpent by his Brother Hercules / Diana Khoi Nguyen, Ghost Of / Maurice Sendak / Brenna Twohy, Swallowtail / Arcade Fire, Neighborhood #2 (Laika) / Edvard Munch, Death in the Sickroom / Michael Dickman, Killing Flies / Käthe Kollwitz, Woman with Dead Child / Michael Lassell, How to Watch Your Brother Die / Catherine Staples, Dear Henry / Lytras Nikephoros, Antigone and Polynices / Anne Carson, Antigonick / Elisa Gonzalez, After My Brother’s Death, I Reflect on the Iliad / John William Waterhouse, Sleep and His Half-Brother Death / Natalie Diaz, A Brother Named Gethsemane
on brothers and loss.
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thelordofgifs · 1 year
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the fairest stars
What if Angrist was a little tougher, and Beren and Lúthien managed to steal two Silmarils from Morgoth instead of one? Somehow I’ve already written NINE parts of this unhinged bullet point AU here and decided it was time for a fresh post to avoid that one getting too long.
Where we left off: Lúthien has been negotiating with Mandos like a pro, Maglor is nearly-but-not-quite-dead in Menegroth, Thingol has taken one Silmaril from him, Fingon has the other Silmaril and ditched Curufin outside the Girdle even though they did some bonding on the Worst Road Trip, and people are still upset about Celegorm’s death. YES I am well aware that the pipeline from the fairly normal first sentence of the post to this mess is insane.
Fingon and Maedhros are both very, very good tacticians. Between them, it isn’t very difficult for Fingon to follow Maedhros’ directions towards Menegroth, and then to find the hidden pathways by which Huan led Maedhros out of Thingol’s halls.
It helps that Thingol is still under the impression that the Girdle is impenetrable with the aid of his Silmaril, so he doesn’t have anyone keeping an eye out for the High King of the Noldor sneaking into his realm on an Adventure.
Finding Maglor's sickroom/prison cell/whatever is a little trickier, but not impossible. Long ago in Tirion Fingon was a mischievous child, so he's well aware that the best way not to get caught sneaking into a forbidden place is to make it perfectly clear that you belong there.
He strides confidently down the corridors, silently reciting Maedhros' directions to himself. Nobody stops him.
He's hoping that Curufin was wrong, and he'll know Maglor's door by the holy light showing through the cracks; but when none is evident he's forced to take his chances and start trying doors in the area Maedhros indicated at random.
Since he has plot armour is very lucky with this whole improbable-rescue thing he comes across Maglor without any trouble.
Maglor is only half-conscious – quite apart from the wounded leg, he hasn’t eaten in days – but his eyes flicker open when Fingon comes in.
“Hello, Makalaurë,” Fingon says, deliberately cheerful. “I’ve come to take you home.”
“You can’t do that,” Maglor says dazedly. “It burned – in the Bragollach – remember?”
Fingon opts not to answer that. “Russo said you were healing when he left,” he says instead, frowning at the bloodstained bandages around Maglor’s leg. “What happened? Has Thingol been mistreating you? I thought Lúthien at least was kind!”
Maybe he was too hasty in leaving Curufin outside the Girdle.
Maglor hurries to explain that Lúthien is dead, and that he’s actually in this pathetic state by choice or something.
“Right,” says Fingon, “well, you’re coming back to Himring now.”
But Maglor shakes his head. “I can’t, Finno,” he says. “Thingol took the Silmaril from me. I don’t – I’ve been trying to hold it back. The Oath. But I can’t leave it in Doriath and go, I can’t. So you’ll have to leave me behind.” He manages a brave and tragic smile.
On Thangorodrim while Fingon was struggling futilely with Morgoth’s iron shackle, hopeless tears running down his face, Maedhros said, You’ll never be able to free me, Finno, just kill me, please—
Fingon is rather sick of Fëanorian melodrama.
“One step ahead of you,” he says brightly, and he produces Maedhros’ Silmaril from its box, handing it to Maglor before his Oath can stir at the sight of it. “Here it is.”
This would never normally work. But Maglor is very tired and ill, and not thinking as clearly as he otherwise would.
As long as the obvious question doesn’t occur to him until they get outside the Girdle again—
Maglor takes the jewel and gives a relieved little sigh as the bite of the Oath eases. “You really took it from Thingol?”
“Of course,” Fingon lies. “Let’s put it back in the box for now so that it doesn’t attract too much attention?”
Maglor acquiesces. He and Fingon aren’t close exactly, but they get on well – certainly far better than Fingon does with Curufin. There’s an odd shared camaraderie that comes from loving Maedhros; it lends itself well to cooperation in difficult circumstances.
Fingon picks Maglor up – he's alarmingly light – and they begin to make their way back out of Menegroth.
"You're to be my betrothal gift," Fingon tells Maglor, and Maglor actually laughs.
Unfortunately it's much harder to look innocuous when you're carrying someone about five minutes away from expiring on the spot.
They haven't got very far before an angry voice comes from behind them: "Who are you and where are you going with the Fëanorion?"
Damn.
Meanwhile
[I should clarify my definition of "meanwhile" here. Evidently time runs much slower in Aman than it does in Middle-earth, even post-Darkening, or it's difficult to fathom why Beren and Lúthien canonically took two years to return from death. In vague support of this, the Fellowship find that time runs slowly in Lothlórien, presumably with the aid of Galadriel's ring, so I posit that the more Divine Stuff there is near a place (and Galadriel was ofc a student of Melian too), the more weird time shit occurs. So since I've anyway fudged the timelines so that travel times work out conveniently, we can also put the bits of story occurring in Aman here for funsies.]
Meanwhile, Finrod has been following Celegorm around in the Halls of Mandos.
"Was it worth it?" he asks. "Did you take joy in the lordship of Nargothrond, once I was gone?"
"I could ask you the same," says Celegorm, responding for the first time. "Did you die for anything in the end, Ingoldo? The mortal's here, after all your efforts. So much for your oath."
"So much for yours," says Finrod; "it looks like that eternal darkness you doomed yourself to wasn't that dark. Or eternal. So what was it all for? Do you even regret any of it?"
The dead can't lie. Artifice and deception are matters of the flesh, and they are buried with it.
"I didn't want you to die," Celegorm says.
"Well, that's a start!" says Finrod. "I can't say I'm glad to see you here, either."
"O Fair and Faithful one," says Celegorm, "spare me none of your pity. They are already whispering that you will be released soon, first of all the Exiles to walk again in Aman. So it's all turned out rather well for you, despite your evil cousins' machinations."
"I suppose it has," says Finrod, thinking.
The thing is, it was worth it. Beren's life mattered. It mattered that he saved it, even if he died to do so, even if Beren is dead now too (although word is that might be changing).
He did not do it expecting a reward.
"And my werewolf was bigger than yours," says Celegorm.
Finrod rolls his metaphorical eyes. "At least I actually killed mine."
Cousinly bickering is still kind of fun, even when you're dead.
Curufin, fuming outside the Girdle, would not agree.
After a time he's forced to conclude that the only thing he can do is head back to Himring.
The ride through Himlad, once as green and fair a land as any, does not improve his mood.
Also his burned hand is still hurting.
Look: here's the little stream where Celegorm caught a huge fish once; and here are the low hills where, a couple of centuries ago, they held some war games and Curufin's people thrashed Celegorm's decisively.
Here's the copse where, years before the Dagor Aglareb brought tentative peace to East Beleriand, Curufin and his son were surprised by a party of orcs, who took their small patrol all captive.
Tyelpë was just barely of age at the time. How trusting his eyes, then, how baby-soft his hair: how easily he had believed that his father would fix everything.
As for Curufin, he spent the hours-long ordeal learning anew what terror was, rendered compliant by the mere possibility that they could hurt his child.
They were fine, in the end. Celegorm rode up to the rescue while the orcs were still quarrelling over where to take them.
But Curufin remembers: how disabling love can be.
Meanwhile Fingon finds himself surrounded by a crowd of angry Iathrim in their home city.
He sets Maglor down on the floor and sets a hand on his sword-hilt, wondering if he is about to become a Kinslayer again.
(Fingon regrets Alqualondë more than anything; and he'd do it again, for Maedhros' sake. He knows this about himself.)
Before things escalate too far, Thingol shows up at the scene of the disturbance.
"We haven't met," Fingon says. "Fingon son of Fingolfin, High King of the Noldor in Beleriand. I've come for my cousin." He gives Thingol a rather dangerous smile.
Thingol thinks he might be in serious trouble. He attempts to adopt a conciliatory tone (which is really really hard for Thingol ok he's trying).
"He'll die if he's moved," he says, nodding to where Maglor is slumped against the wall, shivering.
"He'll die if he stays here!" Fingon says. "Is this the famed hospitality of your halls?"
"He has been offered every treatment he could ask for," Thingol says. "It is not the fault of Menegroth if he chooses to refuse them. Now tell me, son of Fingolfin, how came you through the Girdle of Melian – without her leave or mine?"
Maglor puts the pieces together. "Finno, you lied to me," he breathes, glancing at the box in Fingon's hand.
Fingon wonders if it would be diplomatically insensitive to kick Thingol.
"The jewel alone does not explain it," Thingol insists. "While I hold the Silmaril my daughter won, surely—?"
"I could have told you that, had you asked," says Maglor. "Silmarils aren't weapons! You can't use one as some sort of military defence."
Thingol is now questioning all his life choices.
He only took the Silmaril from Maglor in the first place because he thought it would protect his kingdom, and now—
Maglor is feeling resigned. He should have known Fingon's claim was too good to be true. Thingol still has the Silmaril, and Maglor can't leave Menegroth without it.
Face pale and set, he attempts to get to his feet, mostly unsuccessfully.
Fingon looks down at him. "Seriously, Makalaurë?" And when Maglor ignores him, he says, "Sorry about this," and kicks Maglor's bad leg – carefully, but still hard enough to hurt.
Maglor faints.
Fingon picks his limp body up. "The Silmaril isn't yours," he tells Thingol.
"The white ships of Olwë my brother's people were not yours, either," Thingol returns.
Fingon inclines his head, acknowledging the point. "I don't wish to start a war over the Silmaril," he says. Maglor is so cold and still in his arms. "My cousins have done enough for that cause lately. Only let me take my kinsman home."
Thingol hesitates. The iron box in Fingon's hand is so close, and Fingon is outnumbered, and he has his injured cousin to worry about—
It could all be over, if he took the second Silmaril. He'd never need to worry about his people's safety from invasion again.
"Elu," comes a voice from behind him, "enough of this. Let them go."
"Queen Melian," says Fingon, bowing his head.
She barely looks at him, meeting her husband's gaze instead. "Time and again you have disregarded me," she says. "Lúthien is lost, and yet you persist with this. Will you heed me now?"
Thingol stares at her, and then, finally, he waves his hand. The bristling guards move aside, allowing Fingon free passage down the corridor.
"I trust you can remember your way out," Thingol tells Fingon, and turns away.
Fingon looks at Melian. "Thank you," he says, "and I am very sorry about your daughter."
He has met Maiar before, of course, in Valinor: but Melian is still unsettling, with her implausibly flawless face and eyes that hold yet the memory of a time before Time.
"Little king," she says, "only hope that you will not know any such pain yourself."
Fingon manages a smile. "I'm good at that," he says. "Hope."
On that note he leaves Menegroth, carrying Maglor, and begins to make the long trek back through the Forest of Region, and thence to Himring.
Curufin has managed the journey significantly more quickly. On a crisp cold morning he rides back through Himring's gates.
Maedhros has been... managing. Not well, but he trusts Fingon.
Beloved, I will bring them back to you. Beloved, I will bring them back to you. Beloved, I will bring them back to you.
But here's Curufin by himself, looking pale and tired, and after all it was only a hastily-scribbled note, not an incantation.
Maedhros arrives at the gate at a run.
Scarce weeks ago it was the other way around, Maedhros riding into the fortress with Fingon's cloak only just concealing his bloodstained clothes: and Curufin met him as he came in and he can still feel the terrible jolt of knowledge in his stomach, and Celegorm is still dead.
How can it be borne?
A thought comes to Curufin and for a moment he thinks it the cruellest idea he has ever had, but Celegorm is dead and his hand is still burned and nobody expects any better of him anyway.
"They're dead," he says flatly, "they're both dead," and Maedhros just – stares at him.
(to be continued)
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queenlucythevaliant · 7 months
Text
make your choice
Digory didn’t think much on making choices. The whole world would be over when his mother died anyhow.
Of course, this didn’t keep him from being curious or adventurous. It was exciting to meet new people, exciting to go exploring and to speculate about whatever mischief his Uncle Andrew was up to. Being a lively young boy was perhaps the best distraction from being a boy about to lose his mother.
Going after Polly was so obviously right that it might as well not have been a choice at all. What else could he do? It was easy to be righteous in the face of an evil old magician who said things like "Ours is a high and lonely destiny."
Yet once they were there in that rich, in-between place, with all the worlds there were splayed out before them— ((Make your choice, adventurous stranger)) Well. What sort of lively young boy would he be if he turned back now?
Digory could feel the bell’s magic ((strike the bell and bide the danger)) beginning to work on him. There was no use in resisting. He felt tendrils of magic sinking deep beneath his skin, laying claim to any free will he’d ever had. He said as much to Polly, but she wasn’t listening.
Polly said ((or wonder till it drives you mad)) that he looked exactly like his uncle when he said that.
Jadis’s whole world had ended. Everyone had died, and she’d just gone to sleep. She might have stayed sleeping forever if he hadn’t woken her. Sitting outside his mother’s sickroom, Digory wondered ((what would have followed if you had)) if that was really so shocking. Hadn’t he been preparing for just such an end? Were Charn and Mabel Kirke so different?
Narnia was not an end. It was a beginning.
And face to face with the Lion, Digory was forced to admit that the bell had not been magic. Nothing had caused him to strike it. Make your choice, the writing had said. Digory had chosen. 
I’ve spoiled everything. There’s no chance of getting anything for mother now.
The enormous Lion asked him, "Son of Adam, are you ready to undo the wrong that you have done?" and Digory sputtered his maybes.
"I asked, are you ready?" the Lion said again.
At that very moment, an ultimatum flashed through Digory’s mind. If I salvage your beginning, will you prevent my end? If make amends, will you save my mother? He thought of refusing, of holding his choice hostage until his future was secure. Could the Lion be bargained with? Could Digory twist his arm, as he'd twisted Polly's?
But what Digory said was, "Yes."
Jadis conjured such lovely visions of the future. His mother's face would lose its gray sheen and she would say, Why, I'm beginning to feel stronger. There would be no more morphia, no more of the terrible drawn look about her when she slept. She would rise from her sickbed, vibrant and whole ((Come in by the gold gates or not at all)) rise and walk to the door and fling it open and then Digory would go running into her arms. 
He gasped as though he'd been mortally wounded. Perhaps he had been in a way. After all, had the gate not said ((take my fruit for others or forbear))? 
Jadis ((for those who steal and those who climb my wall)) called Digory the Lion's slave. Years later, he would think back over all that those words implied. The Witch seemed to think that Digory had no will, if he was willing to subordinate himself to Aslan.
But was it not Aslan who made Digory realize his own culpability ((shall find their heart's desire and find despair)), and in the same breath gave him a way to repair it? Had not Aslan given his will back to him?
And at the foot of the tree, Aslan gave Digory his future back as well. 
He was old, but now he is young again, watching as the stars fall headlong across the black of the world-that-was. The world is ending at last, but Digory does not fear such things any longer.
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