#so sleeping is a common theme in my art!

[atzfilm]

𝐚𝐭𝐳𝐟𝐢𝐥𝐦'𝐬 𝐚𝐭𝐞𝐞𝐳 𝐟𝐢𝐜 𝐫𝐞𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐝𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬 𝐦𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭 .ᐟ

all works of writing/summaries are not owned by me, and all credits go to the respective writers! this list will be updated periodically with stories i have read ♡ i thought that as a writer myself who consumes talented stories on this site, it would be good for me to show you all a fraction of what i read myself tehe (i read majority poly!teez/mc so that category will be filled!!) ☆

— note: 90% of these fics will contain mature themes, since it's all i read! please read the specific author's notes before reading!

❤︎ - personal favorites

ᴍᴜʟᴛɪ

— ❤︎ mists of celeste (??/reader, several pairings) by @hongism

genre: scifi/space au, pirate au, space pirate!ateez, angst, smut, fluff

summary: sneaking aboard the ship of a renowned space pirate may not have been the best idea, but you’ll have to make do with what fate has handed to you.

notes: as an atiny on tumblr.com, i feel like it's a rite of passage to read moc. it's one of the best written works i have had the privilege of reading. it's gripping, it's heartbreaking, it's filled with yearning and love, and has you hoping that the characters survive this ordeal. san i love you most you can tell by the masterlist alone that she has crafted a whole space pirate universe intricately and with the utmost care. she deals with the trauma of the characters so so well and i cant lie ive cried a lot reading it jdhdksjddj, it's the fic that made me start reading ateez ff, i mean, i started reading before even knowing ateez and i had to have a separate tab open to remember who was who. that alone can tell you how much of a work of art this is. omg, im blabbering, but please read this.

— hotel california (ot8/reader) by @mint-yooxgi

genre: yandere, demon!au

summary: checking in to a hotel ran by yandere!Ateez, the boys decide she can no longer leave

my notes: im not too sure how i came across this work, i think it was an endless scroll of me trying to find something to read, but nevertheless, this story. i have not finished it yet (a great and utter pity) but from what ive read so far. im actually very concerned on how much ive read of this in one night 😨, i think the plot is so so unique, i love a strong mc who does not take any shit whatsoever, i love gaslighting demon!ateez 🙂‍↕️. i had to stare at the wall several times while reading,, felt like jim in the office truly. UGH it's just so good??? i can't recommend enough!! PLEASE READ.

— ❤︎ the answer (ot8?/reader, side pairings) by @berryunho

genre: cult au, thriller

summary: life is great until your best friend goes missing your senior year of university, leaving little more than an apology and goodbye. Months later, you’re determined to find out what happened to him and discover a situation much more complicated than you would have ever anticipated - as in - Kim Hongjoong doesn’t like the word ‘cult.’ He prefers 'sect.'

my notes: i first discovered this fic on ao3 and somehow found out lauren had a tumblr blog but i digress – i found this one night and was so excited that i found something so so unique and different and i am pretty sure i didn't sleep until 4am reading everything omg . it's truly so funny and i adore the main character more than anything, the snide remarks truly encompass and make you feel their emotions? cult leader hongjoong is something else... without spoiling hfjdjf. i beg lauren often for a spoiler because it's just that good. please read.

— OUTLAW (ot8/reader, side pairings) by @staytinyville

genre: wild west!au, smut(?), angst

summary: you thought you would be spending the rest of your life tending to the hotel your family ran. while you knew it was common to see bandits come and go in your town, you felt safe in your home. at least safe enough with a weapon at your disposal. however you were no match for eight men who were known to most as outlaws around the plains. hawt kind of adventures did they go on?

my notes: i started reading this a while back and have yet to finish, but so far the premise is so so so interesting and i love readying cowboy aus rjkfjkdrfkj ITS SO GOOD!!!! I CANT WAIT TO CATCH UP

— sway with me (ot8/reader, wooyoung/reader) by @luvt0kki

genre: sci-fi/space/futuristic!au

summary: former noble turned space pirate, wooyoung was now part of one of the most revered and hunted group of pirates of the galaxy. sure he’s only known them for six months but there’s only so much you could do in a ship when you travel from one planet to the next. the ship was their home, his home…and the members of this crew were friends that he felt he was fated to meet.

my notes: tokki already knows all of this but,,, i started this a month or so ago? and i read the first chapter and i legit lost my mind,,, in the calmest way possible... the first chapter is gripping and it sets a environment that i very much would love to live in??? it's just so so well written, and the reader is very much my type NDFAKKJ ANYWAY... it's told from the pov of wooyoung and i love it??? so MUCH?? please read ok bye

— one more rep (woosan x reader) by @cheollipop

genre: smut, f2l, trainers woosan

summary: san got a little too excited watching you exercise in purple – his favourite colour – and wooyoung was nothing if not a tease. turning their attention back to you, they didn't expect to see you equally worked-up.

my notes: ???? i actually read this a few times,,,, this fic yall.... i cannot... the mental image of woosan in the gym makes me delusional enoughdsjkaskfjksd PLEASE.

— like a dream (yungi x reader) by cheollipop

genre: bf!yungi, smut

summary: with only the orange hues of the lamp illuminating the room, they have you for the first time, and it feels just like a dream.

my notes: yunho and mingi are my weakness,, so the both of them together.....

sᴇᴏɴɢʜᴡᴀ

to be added!

ʜᴏɴɢᴊᴏᴏɴɢ

— horizon by @pxedpiper (ft. ateez/f.reader)

genre: pirate!au

summary: once a princess of a kingdom you loathed to call yours, you have somehow found yourself aboard a pirate ship, stuck on the ocean waves. now you try to figure out how to escape them, but as you continue to journey with them, you find yourself wondering if you even want to.

my notes: i just found this the other day but remembering reading it a while ago! it's so so well written and i enjoyed it sm 🥹

ʏᴜɴʜᴏ

to be added!

ʏᴇᴏsᴀɴɢ

to be added!

sᴀɴ

to be added!

ᴍɪɴɢɪ

— safe haven (mingi/reader) by @atxxzist

genre: bodyguard!au, fluff

summary: your father has had enough of your shit, and hires Song Mingi; his best friend's son, to be your personal bodyguard

my notes: is it possible to fall down the mingi hole deeper than i already have? maybe! this fic pretty much lives in my head,,, endlessly,,,, i love mingi. i love this au so much and i especially love bodyguard aus, i think it's one of my favorite genres and this deepens it.... PLEASE READ.

ᴡᴏᴏʏᴏᴜɴɢ

— rough rider (wooyoung x afab!reader) by @choism

genre: smut

summary: In which you meet a hot twink at a club who has a slightly unhealthy obsession with the 2000's and y2k bimbocore.

my notes: i......... there's no way i can describe this fic... if u yearn for wooyoung the way i do. read this.

— what happened to slow down? (bf!wooyoung x reader) by @ja3hwa

genre: smut

summary: coming back from a house party, you and woo couldn't seem to keep your hands off one another. everything was happening so fast. you two didn't even make it to the bedroom.

my notes: insert a photo of someone throwing a phone and screaming crying, then picking it up to read the rest. thats me kjrfakfajkf

ᴊᴏɴɢʜᴏ

to be added!

#ateez fanfiction #ateez fanfic #ateez smut #ateez angst #ateez fluff #hongjoong x reader #ateez x reader #seonghwa x reader #yunho x reader #wooyoung x reader #mingi x reader #san x reader #yeosang x reader

[mirrormazeworld]

Twst Analysis and Findings Why Crowley isn't Malleus's Dad, Unpopular Chapter 5 Diasomnia Twst Theory

While 99.9% of people seem to be convinced that Crowley is Levan, I'm that 0.01% who is still not convinced yet because there are some things that I found really odd if Crowley is Malleus's dad. So odd that this post itself has become a long post.

If you search for something and want to read where Crowley isn't Levan/Malleus's dad, then this theory and analysis is for you because here I'll explain some points for your considerations before jumping to conclusions, though I'm not sure if anyone will care about what I write and hear this small opinion at this point.

1. Heavily implied "another dragon from another country"

In Diasomnia chapter 4, it's said from Lilia's dialogue that "Draconia clan are the descendants of the dragons". All this time we might think that "Draconia are the only dragon in Twisted Wonderland" but in chapter 5 it's revealed that Draconia aren't the only dragon in Twisted Wonderland because there are other dragon clans from faraway country.

Malleus's dad, Levan's title is 竜眼公 in Japanese and it can be translated literally as "Dragon Eye Lord" or "Longan Lord". (More about his title, you can see it in my previous post)

If we see it the way like how longan fruit is named, (龍眼) either 龍眼 or 竜眼 still have the same meaning, but the only difference is 龍眼 is from Cantonese while 竜眼 is from Japanese.

But the main points in common are : They are both "Dragon Eye" and "Eastern Countries"

Which means there's a high possibility that Levan is a dragon from the longan clan/eastern dragon clan.

What's more interesting is that Lilia seems to be very fond of this "Long/Eastern Dragon" that he wants to spend the rest of his life there in their homeland. Out of all the countries he can and had ever visited, why did he choose "Red Dragon Country" in particular?

In first Halloween event Diasomnia also went with the theme of Long and it's revealed that it was Malleus's idea himself with Lilia providing more information about the Eastern Dragon Country culture and the Longs. And then there's that one dialogue said by Lilia himself in the Halloween Event :

"In fact, one such Long became a family's guardian spirit"

It is somehow similar to Levan who has been like a guardian to Meleanor and his draconia family, as her husband, her Left General alongside Lilia (Right General), and her most trusted person (Meleanor's Eyes and Limbs)

If it's not a subtle information but also kind of important that it's heavily implied many times just like Malleus who froze the time in Endless Halloween then I don't know what it is.....

2. Discarded Character Concept (?)

In twst exhibition there's an initial concept art of Crowley where he seems to have a similar theme and is somehow grouped with Diasomnia. It's because he had the same color as that of Diasomnia, even you can see the thorns on his leg and arm which as we know, is the symbol of Diasomnia/related to Draconia family (Sleeping Beauty Squad)

However, if we compare Crowley's old design and his original, usual one, in the design of the Crowley that we know now, twst seems to actually change every Diasomnia/Sleeping Beauty concept out of him and replace it all, from "thorns" to "mirrors" and "golden keys", and leave only the "corvid" part of him.

The question is, Why did Yana and twst team go into such trouble to change him all the way?

In Diasomnia Chapter 4 it's revealed that "Briar Kingdom has two castles : Black Scale Castle (Briar Valley's Main/Capital Castle) and Wild Rose Castle (Meleanor's Castle)

Diasomnia chapter is heavily tied with Wild Rose Castle rather than Black Scale Castle and places the main casts of Diasomnia chapter in Wild Rose Castle rather than Black Scale Castle and wrote Meleanor as Princess rather than a Queen. I know Diasomnia chapter was written with Sleeping Beauty as its story frame, and Meleanor is supposed to take the role of Maleficent in that story, but the question is why they created two castles and used Wild Rose Castle as the main background of the story rather than just create and use one castle, and give the title "Princess" to Meleanor and not a "Queen" since Maleficia, Malleus's grandma is the Queen? In the original and older version of sleeping beauty by Brothers Grimm, "Maleficent" is depicted as a Queen who is jealous of Talia (Sleeping Beauty) and not a Princess. It's as if they want to separate what is "exclusively Diasomnia chapter" from Briar Valley/Briar Kingdom itself.

This is honestly only my personal opinion, but based on these facts, the only logical, possible explanation I can think of is because they want to give this Diablo/Diaval's role to this Lord Longan so that Crowley can play a more bigger role rather than just a diplomat/messenger, and thus, discarded the old Crowley concept and made it invalid.

Thinking the old design as the valid source of information means that you want to tell people that "Epel with skirt and Idia as the little brother are canon" but are they now? Do twst used that concept in the end? Does Epel wear skirt in game and Idia is Ortho's little brother? Of course not, and you already saw it yourself that Yana already discarded that idea completely.

3. A seemingly Disastrous Chronology if Levan is Crowley

With the given information from in game, I want you to think with logic here :

Lilia is 700 years old. NRC gave him a letter of acceptance 500 years ago, but then he ripped it, and then Levan taped it back and stored it in royal archives. Silver said they are in Lilia's dream from 400 years ago and as we know this is when the war between faes and Silver Owl occurred, and at that time it's said that Levan was missing.

Now what I find odd is : if Levan is Crowley, then who sent the NRC acceptance letter to Lilia? We all know the Headmaster is in charge of student admission just like how he permitted Yuu and Grim to become NRC students, sending letters to people acknowledged by dark mirror, persuading Kalim's family, letting Ortho enroll even though he is an android and so on. And if Crowley is Levan, he wouldn't be able to do his job as Headmaster in Land of Dawning because he would need to be present in Briar Valley by Lilia's side to tape back the letter Lilia had torn to shreds.

Keep in mind that there are no official exact years and number from twst itself how long Crowley had been headmaster of NRC yet but from Diasomnia chapter it's clear that NRC already existed back then far before the war between humans and fae.

This one is just my personal opinion, but I'm more convinced that Crowley was the one who cast complex, ancient spell on Grim and therefore, know something about the extremely rare overblot incident that seems to always happen in NRC (and so we heard his voice summoning Yuu and said "we are all running out of time" in the prologue") and so he is tied more heavily to book 8 (Ramshackle/NRC) after Diasomnia if it does exist in the future than book Diasomnia.

Both The Watcher from Island of Woe (Idia's family) and the primeval spell that casted on Grim which seems to be similar to Shroud family's curse were from when the nature of overblot was not known yet and was considered as natural disaster, dated back to the "Age of Gods" which is approximately 1000 years ago.

But then you might think "Oh maybe Crowley had lived that long and pretended to be Levan to play his role." This is impossible because Lilia, Meleanor and Levan are childhood friends and well, Lilia said it himself that they were still children, besides Lilia is 700 years old and not 1000 years old.

Therefore I don't think Crowley is Malleus's Dad, Levan. But if someone said "Crowley was Maleficia's (Malleus's grandma) subordinate, then I can believe them because that way it will be possible for him to exist since the Age of Gods.

And perhaps this is also the reason why Yana and twst teams purposely wrote Diasomnia story with two castles and used Wild Rose Castle as the main background scene in the story rather than just created and used one castle, because they do wanted to separate it and created a place exclusively to tell Diasomnia story so it wont disturb the other plot of the other story and create a plot hole as a whole.

And so that's all the many reasons why I don't think Crowley is Malleus's Dad. Unless someone can answer the questions that had been swirling around my head because of how absurd Crowley is Malleus's Dad theory is which I had been marked with red color in this post and explained it logically or the official told it themselves then I won't be convinced.

#twisted wonderland #twst theory #dire crowley #twst crowley #twst thoughts #malleus draconia #twst malleus #twst lilia #lilia vanrouge #twst levan #personally I think Crowley is Malleus's Dad theory is so absurd #unpopular opinion #twst spoilers #twst chapter 7 spoilers #twst chapter 7

[wavesoutbeingtossed]

Screaming from the crypt (or how the past haunts the present on Midnights)

I know it's been discussed so much since Midnights came out but just.

I love how there is such a clear narrative throughout the album (and perhaps especially on the 3am/Vault tracks). About questioning and regret and choices and coming to terms with all of it. It is one long story about how we're all a mosaic of the choices we make, each one taking something from us and leaving something else in its place.

(And now a disclaimer: I'm looking at this mostly through a narrator/subject lens, and trying not to dive too deeply into real-life events or speculation except for in a general sense. For this purpose I like to look at the body of work as art, like literature, because I find it makes it easier to see the common threads in the different songs and cohesion in the narrative.)

In looking at the 3am+ tracks in particular, it's fascinating how some turns of phrases or themes repeat themselves in different songs, in different contexts. (I'm only focusing on the non-standard tracks because there are too many songs and I'd be here all day but I bet I could do a part two lol.) I know many people have pointed out the parallels throughout her discography already and I’m not saying anything groundbreaking by writing this, but I love how these parallels run through in the same album, because it makes it seem like it's one long story, or at least, one long rumination on many different stories that are coalescing into a single narrative.

Battle (let’s go)

For instance, the one that jumped out at me when I started writing this post the other week was, "Tore your banners down, took the battle underground," in The Great War and "If clarity's in death, then why won't this die? Years of tearing down our banners, you and I," in Would've, Could've Should've. It's a story about staying stuck in the same cycle of reliving trauma and coping mechanisms and bad habits over and over again and fantasizing about how taking the “antagonist” out and gaining the upper hand for good would bring closure (WCS), but the truth is that nothing ever will. All that cycle does, though, is repeat itself in other situations, and in this case pushes someone away the narrator cares for (TGW). The difference is that the imagined battle in WCS is a two-way street in her mind (that is ultimately unwinnable because it was never a fair fight), but in TGW it's one-sided -- she's the one fighting dirty, taking shots, the way she'd been doing in her imagination (or nightmares) all these years. But the person in front of her isn't fighting back the way the person in her mind in WCS would, because their intentions are honourable instead of exploitative.

And that's paralleled in another pair of lyrics from the two songs, "And maybe it's the past talking, screaming from the crypt, telling me to punish you for things you never did," (in TGW) and "The tomb won't close, I fight with you in my sleep," (in WCS). In both cases, the funeral imagery makes it seem like this past event should be dead and buried in WCS, but it keeps rising from the dead, haunting her no matter what she does and in TGW, another (or perhaps the same?) tomb that won't close keeps unleashing new ways to hurt her and in turn the new person in her life. In other words, the trauma from the past continues to bleed into the present.

(Again from a literary point of view, I'm not saying the events of the two songs are linked IRL, but they're fascinating textual parallels on the album as a string of chapters, which is why Dear Reader is so compelling, but that's a whole other essay.)

To keep the battle motif going, there’s yet another parallel, this time between TGW’s "[You were a] soldier down on that icy ground, looked up at me with honor and truth," and You’re Losing Me’s "All I did was bleed as I tried to be the bravest soldier, fighting in only your army.” In the former, the subject is laying down his armour in the war she’s projecting onto him, waving the white flag, and she realizes that she’s about to destroy something if she doesn’t put her sword down too. By the time we get to YLM, the roles are almost reversed; at the very least they’re supposed to be on the same team, but in this case she’s doing all the heavy lifting, fighting for their relationship in contrast to his apathy killing it. It’s also pretty interesting (if not outright intentional) that one of the 3am+ editions of the albums starts with The Great War, where they find themselves in conflict (even if it’s in her head) that ends in a truce, and ends with You’re Losing Me signalling the end of the relationship, evidence that the resolution in the first song wasn’t an ending but merely a ceasefire before the last battle.

Putting the rest under a cut because this is waaaaay too long now ⤵️

(There’s also another metaphor there in The Great War with its battle imagery: World War I, aka The Great War, was supposed to be the war to end all wars, because loss on its scale was never seen before and when it ended, most thought never again would the world embroil itself in such battle, the horrors and implications were so devastating. Two decades later, the world found itself in WWII, with an even larger scope and more horrific consequences, the intervening time between the two a period of festering conflicts and resentment leading to some of the worst acts the world would see. Bringing real life into it for a second, there’s something a little poetic, though sad, about The Great War the song being about a fight that could have ended the relationship that they ultimately resolved and was meant to be evidence of the strength of their love, but so too did it end up being a period of détente, the greater battle coming for them years later. But that is not the point of this post.)

If one thing had been different

Another major theme in these editions is pondering the "what ifs?" of life, but I think it takes on even more significance in the broader context of the album in the lyrics of "I'm never gonna meet what could've been, would've been, should've been you," in Bigger than the Whole Sky and the repetition of would've/could've in Would've, Could've, Should've (I would've looked away at the first glance, I would've stayed on my knees, I would've gone along with the righteous, I could've gone on as I was, would've could've should've if I'd only played it safe, etc.) In both songs, the narrator is mourning an alternate course their life could have taken* and questioning what they could have done differently, in the aftermath of trauma and loss, and the regret that comes with that loss, and with the loss of agency in the situation because ultimately it was never in their hands. In an album full of questions, wondering about the path not taken, or the forks in the road that have led to a different version of your life, it's digging deeper into the contrast of choice vs. fate, action vs. reaction, dwelling on the past vs. moving on. When you're supposed to let go of the past, what do you do when it is holding your future hostage?

(*I know there are different interpretations/speculation about BTTWS which I am not getting into on main. I'm just saying that whatever the song is about, it's grieving something that never came to be. The literal origin of the song is less important to the album than the sense of loss it portrays. Whatever the inspiration is, it's crafted to tell part of the story of Midnights of ruminating over how, to borrow from her previous work, if one thing had been different, would everything be different?)

(Also I was today years old when I realized that the words are inverted in the two songs. Apparently I've been hearing BTTWS wrong this whole time.)

There's also an interesting tangent in the role of faith in both songs: in WCS, the events of the story cause her to lose her faith (e.g. "All I used to do was pray," "you're a crisis of my faith,") and question all the things she felt had been unquestionable until that point in her life (e.g. "I could have gone along with the righteous"), whereas in BTTWS, she questions whether that very lack of faith is to blame for the loss in that song ("did some force take you because I didn't pray? [...] It's not meant to be, so I'll say words I don't believe"). It's like pinpointing the moment her life changed and upended her beliefs (WCS), but as a result then leaving her unmoored in times of crisis because ultimately there's no explanation or comfort to be taken from what she used to hold true before that (BTTWS). The words she once relied upon to guide her have long since lost their meaning, but in times of trouble it leaves her wondering if that faith she once held then lost could have prevented this pain.

(Shoutout to WCS for being Catholic guilt personified lol.)

To keep on with the vaguely faith-y notions, an obvious parallel is the line in Would’ve Could’ve Should’ve about, “I damn sure never would've danced with the devil at nineteen,” and, "When you aim at the devil, make sure you don't miss," in Dear Reader. All of WCS is about her fighting with an antagonist who haunts her, with whom she wholly regrets ever becoming involved. DR could be seen as a reflection on that fall from grace, warning the audience that if you choose to go after the person (or thing) haunting you, make sure you do so clearheaded enough to be decisive. Again, these “devils” may not be related in real life: the IRL devil in DR could be speaking about her naysayers, or Kim*ye, or Scott & Scooter B, etc., meaning not to cross your enemies until you know you can win. But taking real life out of it and looking at it textually, I am intrigued by the link between WCS and DR, so that’s what I’m going with here. And perhaps that’s even the point in a wider sense; there will be multiple “devils” in your life, or threats to your well-being. If you’re going to commit to taking them down — whether it’s an actual person, or the demons inside you that refuse to let you go — make sure you have the right ammo so that they can no longer hurt you. (Of course, one lesson from these experiences is that sometimes you can’t win, and you have to live with the fallout.)

(Sidebar: I know that “dancing with the devil” is a turn of phrase that means being led into temptation and engaging in risky behaviour, as opposed to describing the actual person. Given the religious metaphors in the song, that could very well be/is the intention, particularly when it’s preceded by, “I would have stayed on my knees” as in she would have continued to follow her faith — in whatever sense that means — had she never met this person, which could also be a more eloquent way of saying she would have continued to be live her life in a way that was righteous (even naive) and seen the world in black and white. Either way, it’s a force she wholly rejects. Like I said, multiple devils, same fight.)

Regret comes up too: in WCS, she says, "I regret you all the time," obviously directed at the person who manipulated her and led to her perceived downfall, citing him as the one impulse she wished she'd never followed, because it won't leave her no matter how hard she’s tried. In High Infidelity, she tells the person to, "put on your records and regret me," and on the surface, it’s like she’s turning the tables, painting herself as the one now causing the regret in someone else, the one inflicting the pain this time. Yet the verse preceding it and the lines following it in the chorus depict a partner who is also emotionally manipulative and vindictive like in WCS (“you said I was freeloading, I didn’t know you were keeping count,” “put on your headphones and burn my city,”). It’s not so much that she’s intentionally harming the person (the way the person in WCS does to her), but rather that the venom in the subject’s feelings towards her seeps through; she’s imagining the way he’s going to feel about her when she leaves, hating her just for by being who she is. (There could be another tangent about how in both songs she’s there to be a “token” in a game for both of the men, who play her for their own purposes.) The regret is dripping with disdain. It’s as though she’s picturing how the person is going to hate her for doing what she’s thinking of doing the way she hates the person who first hurt her.

Sadness, unsurprisingly, shows up in a few lyrics. In BTTWS, “Everything I touch becomes sick with sadness,” sets the scene of a person so overcome with grief that it permeates everything around them; they cannot see their way out of it and feel like the fog will never lift. In Hits Different, it’s, “My sadness is contagious,” the result of a breakup where the person’s grief again touches everything and everyone around them, pushing them further in their despair and loneliness. The reason behind the grief in either case may vary, but regardless of the source, the feeling is overpowering and isolating. They may be different chapters in the story, but the devastation is hauntingly familiar. (As is a recurring theme in Midnights as a whole: there are situations and feelings that present themselves at different points in her journey and colour in the lines in different ways along the road. Like revisiting an old vice and realizing the hit isn’t quite the same as it was in the past.)

Death by a thousand cuts

She also writes about wounds on this album, which isn't surprising I suppose given that the whole conceit is that these are things that have kept her up at night over the years. WCS is perhaps the driving narrative on this never ending hurt when she sings, “The wound won't close, I keep on waiting for a sign, I regret you all the time,” suggesting that no matter what she does, the pain of this experience has permeated everything she’s done afterwards. (Not unlike the overwhelming grief in BTTWS, for instance.) Elsewhere, in High Infidelity she sings, "Lock broken, slur spoken, wound open, game token," and in Hits Different, "Make it make some sense why the wound is still bleeding.” Again I'm not suggesting they're about the same events; the line in HI is about a situation where a partner crosses a boundary, hits below the belt, picks at an insecurity (or creates a new one) and treats the relationship like it's transactional, opening the floodgates in turn. In HD, the wound seems to be more self-inflicted, where she's pushed the person away. (Over a situation real or imagined she feels she needs distance from.) But again, something has picked at her like a raw nerve, and just like in the past, she's hurting, even in a different time and place and person. Almost like the wounds of the past break open over and over again to create new scars. If one were to extrapolate further, it wouldn’t be the biggest leap to wonder if the wound open in WCS, then torn apart in HI makes the one in HD hurt even more.

(I once wrote a post about how I think as time goes on, WCS is going to turn into one of those songs that will be found to drive so much of her work, because it’s just… kind of the unsaid thesis statement of so much of her songwriting.)

Another repeated theme is that of the empty home and loneliness. In High Infidelity, she sings, "At the house lonely, good money I'd pay if you just know me, seemed like the right thing at the time," painting a picture of someone who may have everything they'd want to the outside world, but in reality feels metaphorically trapped in their home (or at least alone amidst abundance), a symbol of a relationship gone sour and a failure to build connection. She just wants someone to understand her, want her for her, but as she's written earlier in the song, she's just a pawn in the game, a trophy from the hunt. Home, in this case, is lonely, isolated, an emblem of her fears. In Dear Reader, she continues this thread, then singing, "You wouldn't take my word for it if you knew who was talking, if you knew where I was walking, to a house not a home, all alone 'cause nobody's there, where I pace in my pen and my friends found friends who care, no one sees you lose when you're playing solitaire." It's the same idea, admitting to listeners that the gilded cage she lived in kept her distanced from her loved ones and real connection, keeping her struggles close to the vest but feeling desperately lonely amidst her crowning success. She's pushed people away and it may have felt like the right thing at the time, but in the end maybe felt like she was trapped. And when you push people away, eventually they take you at your word and stop pushing back; you’re a victim of your own success at isolating yourself. What starts out of self-preservation then further perpetuates the underlying problems.

(There's another interesting link about "home" also feeling unsafe with HI's "Your picket fence is sharp as knives," which further leads into the theme of marriage/domesticity feeling dangerous, which is a whole other thing I won't get into here because it's another discussion and may derail this already gargantuan word salad.)

In a slightly similar vein, we have the metaphor of bad weather for a rocky road or unstable relationship, in High Infidelity again with, "Storm coming, good husband, bad omen, dragged my feet right down the aisle" and You’re Losing Me’s "every morning I glared at you with storms in my eyes.” They aren’t speaking of the same situation or even same kind of breakdown, but it is pretty interesting how the idea of clouds/storms/floods/etc. play such a role in Taylor’s music to signal depression, apprehension, fear, uncertainty, etc. In HI, I think the “storm” coming is the looming threat of commitment to a partner who makes the narrator uneasy (if not fearful). In this case, the idea of making a life with this person is not one that incites joy or comfort, but instead makes the narrator feel that dark times are ahead if she continues down this path. Perhaps in some way, the “storms” in YLM have made good on the threat in HI in a different way; it’s a different home, a different relationship, but the clouds have settled in regardless, and some of her fears have come to fruition in ways she did not expect. The person she once trusted no longer sees her or her struggles (or worse, doesn’t care), and the resentment and pain build with each passing day.

Coming back to heartbreak, one of the obvious "full circle" moments is the beginning of a relationship in Paris, where she says that, "I'm so in love that I might stop breathing," clearly enthralled in a new love that allows her to shut the world out and grow in private, capturing the all-encompassing nature of the relationship. This infatuation has consumed her in the most wonderful way (in contrast to the sorrow of some of the previous songs), and it feels like a life-altering (or even life-sustaining?) force that is so strong she may forget what it’s like to breathe. (Metaphorically speaking, of course.) By the end of the album, though, in You're Losing Me, that heart-stopping love has become a threat: "my heart won't start anymore for you." In the former, her racing heart is full of excitement, but by the latter, her heart has given out completely under the weight of the pain she bears. (YLM is full of death/illness imagery which I already wrote about awhile ago so I won't hear, but needless to say that song deserves its own essay for so many reasons.) She's gone from the unbridled joy of the beginnings of a relationship to the unrelenting sorrow of its end, two sides of the same coin.

Love as death appears elsewhere in the music too, for instance, in High Infidelity’s, “You know there's many different ways that you can kill the one you love, the slowest way is never loving them enough" and You’re Losing Me’s “How can you say that you love someone you can't tell is dying? […] My face was gray, but you wouldn't admit that we were sick.” Though not completely analogous situations, they both tell the tale of one partner’s apathy (or at least denial) destroying the other. In the former, the partner’s actions (or inaction) are more insidious, if not sinister; in the latter, the lack of momentum (or admission of a problem) is passive. In both cases, the end result is the narrator’s demise; it’s a drawn out affair that chips away at her morale and her health and her sense of self. (Breaking my own rule about bringing in alleged actual events into the discussion, but the idea that the relationship in High Infidelity, which was obviously fraught with unease and even fear, ended in a similarly excruciatingly slow and hurtful death by a thousand cuts as the relationship in You’re Losing Me almost did at that time must have been so painful. It almost feels like YLM is wondering why what used to be a source of light in her life was mirroring a situation that caused her such pain in the past.)

From the same little breaks in your soul

I said early on that part of what is so compelling about Midnights is that it feels like an album about ruminating — on choices, on events, on people — and the two final “bonus” tracks of the album depict that as well. In Hits Different, she sings that, “they say if it’s right, you know,” an ode to the confusion of a breakup and struggling with the aftermath of calling it quits. It’s a line that has always intrigued me, because the typical use of the phrase is in the sense of, “you’ll know when you meet the one,” but here it seems to have a double meaning, a reassurance perhaps from the friends (who later on tell her that "love is a lie") that she’ll know if she’s made the right decision in calling it off, but could also be her wondering if the relationship is right, she’ll know, and want to reconcile. In the final bonus track, You’re Losing Me, she sings, “now I just sit in the dark and wonder if it’s time,” this time leaving no doubt about the dilemma she faces, though it’s no less fraught. She’s wondering, perhaps for the last time, if now is finally the moment to end the relationship for good. They say that if it’s right she’ll know, and now she’s wondering if that feeling inside her (that once told her her partner was the one, which is why it hit differently), is telling her that it’s time to go for good. Wait Alexa play “It’s Time To Go.” These are not only the things that keep her up at night, but the things that play over in her mind like a film reel in her waking hours.

Midnights as a whole is a deeply personal album, as is most of Taylor's work, but the 3am+ edition tracks seem to dig even deeper to a lot of the issues raised on the standard album. Almost like the standard tracks are the things she wonders about on sleepless nights, but the bonus tracks are the things that haunt her in the aftermath. The regret, anger, sadness, grief, relief, even joy— they’re the price she pays for the memories she keeps reliving. Midnights might be the most cohesive narrative of all her albums, and really does feel like we’re watching someone work through her journal over time, stopping short of outright naming those giant fears and intrusive thoughts (except for when she does) but making them plain as day when you connect the songs together, and perhaps never more clearly than in the expanded album. It’s incredible how the songs stand on their own to relay a specific moment in time, but that they are also self-referential to each other (whether thematically or overtly) to weave a larger web over the entire work. We’re so lucky as fans to have these stories and to keep peeling back these layers as time passes. (And my literature-analysis-loving ass loves her even more for it.)

This is obviously by no means an exhaustive list, and I know there are more parallels and probably even stronger links (particularly when you add the standard version into the mix), but these were the ones that particularly struck me and I’m just glad I’ve had a chance to sit with this and think it through. ❤️

#writing letters addressed to the fire #me thinking too hard about taylor lyrics #taylor swift #midnights #long post #lyrics analysis #song parallels #Gabby this one is for you friend <3 #here goes nothing #Happy Friday or something idk! #(also i know i said there are things i wouldn’t discuss on main but my dms are open lol) #this is not as structured or well plotted out as I wanted it to be #and turned out to be more stream of consciousness than legit essay #but whatever at least i got my thoughts out there and it can release some plot of land in my brain for other stuff to think over lol #If anyone ever reads this thank you! And I’m sorry? #The best compliment i ever got in school #was when we were doing an analysis of a poem in English lit in college #And i brought something up casually #and my prof went ‘I’ve been teaching this class for eight years and that’s the first time anyone’s ever brought it up like that’ #’and that just blew my mind’ #and i was like ‘who me?’ #so that’s all you need to know about me lol #Midnights: The Great War #Bigger than the whole sky #bttws #Midnights: Paris #Midnights: high infidelity #would’ve could’ve should’ve #Midnights: dear reader #midnights: bigger than the whole sky

[pizzpizzapizzo]

but what if pizza = religion?

i'm going for it i'm doing the thing

this is the pizza antichrist post i threatened to make. Incoherent ramblings and pseudo-christian imagery under the cut

so pizza, the food, the round delicious thingy, is obviously pretty important to the Pizza Tower lore. Peppino makes it, Gustavo probably does too, almost all enemies are themed after it, etc. There has to be a reason for it, right? (ignore the fact that the reason is most likely a joke please)

so let's focus on two entities in particular: the priest (also the exorcist) and the pizzard

the priest can remove status effects from you, one of which is um DEATH?? dude can straight up resurrect you. Where does he get the power for his miracles? Well, if you look at his hat (and ignore the crosses they sometimes pull out as generic iconography), you can see a red pizza symbol. So what if, right, WHAT IF the main religion of this world is pizza based?

listen. Why else would there be sentient toppins running around. Not only are they deemed to be dangerous/important enough by the inhabitants of the Tower to get put into cages, but they also have an inherent monetary value. That or they all carry $10 on them idk. But i really think they're integral to the divine art of pizza making somehow

Following from this, What if pizza making is less of a trade and more of a holy ritual that allows you to harness the godly powers of this dish? And what if - hear me out - Peppino himself is a rogue pizza priest who's cast away his robes in favour of serving the common folk. Kind of like a renegade paladin

was this just an excuse to draw peppino as a priest? maybe

ok back to pizzards. These buggers are described as practicing "pizzamancy". Don't think we need to wonder too hard where this arcane art draws its powers from. But here's the thing - while priests are generally helpful to the player/Peppino and seem to be working against the Tower and its occupants, pizzards are your enemies. There are two warring sides to this divine power. And if the pizza priests can be assumed to ask the pizza god for miracles and be under the jurisdiction of the pizza pope, why would the same godly entity help pizzards? Well, what if there's also a pizza satan. No not the one with the super hot pizza. Altho wait. Maybe? idk. Let me sleep on it.

POINT IS. whoever they are, the devil is probably off in hell somewhere, but someone else might be on earth in their stead. Someone immensely and seemingly nonsensically powerful. So pizzards serve Pizzahead - he even rents one to Noise as a minion in the comics - and they appear to be coded as this world's equivalents of satanic cultists. Pizzahead has access to vast reality bending powers for no apparent reason but is still firmly rooted in this world. Conclusion? Pizzahead is the pizza antichrist

thank you for coming to my TED talk

#pizza tower #pizza tower theory #pizzahead #pizzard #i should not be typing this right now my head hurts and i feel like i'm not making any sense #but i've spent too long on this to delay it any further #cw religion #i hope nobody gets offended this is supposed to be mostly a joke ;;; #another explanation i had is that Pizzahead is an eldritch abomination #his true form is too horrifying to percieve lol #that's why he turns himself and everything around him into pizza #shhh it makes sense i promise

[hellonerf]

suicide is discouraged in the workplace

im not even gonna try to be coherent here. this is not an analysis post i am braindead. if i was a better artist makima wouldve been my muse when i was deep into chainsawman. actuallt she kind of was but i pussyed out

OK everyone here can subconsciously understand this connection. dont get too hung up on makima's strong motherhood theme and i just thought about what if ame was motherly and i couldn't kill myself right aftee thinking that as i have no means to it. that was a joke its late and im just me. i decided i wasnt a fan of motherly ame though so all suicidal thoughts erased. i am really chill now

old makima fanart i drew that im trying not to rip my hairs out over thinking about it with ame. also dont worry if this makes tou find my mainblog or main accounts whatever

actually theyre really different in many ways now that im looking at these. ame is so much of a son and makima is so much of a mother its like oppsoite spectrums. but thay makes the commonalities fun actuallt. i keep thinking about the movies and makima hating bad movies. ame is not an art kid by any means does he even care of the beauty of the world? i doubt it. but he likes bad movies and he likes cheap entertainment so who knows... they'd disagree on that. well i think makima's opinion on that was pretty extreme so i think most would disagree with her really

i could imagine ame going "Chainsawman. Doesn't spit." and smoking for the first time to look cool like in movies only to pathetically cough. thats their common trait... artifice... humans... but in a way that loops back to being Really Human i guess. holds a kind of arrogance and hubris that is so associated with humanity. it cant be anything else. ame should kill himself i think he should get moments of clarity and awareness and want to kill himself rqlly bad

both concepts of control. awesome. SUICIDE IS NOT ENDORSED IN THE WRKPLACE. ame goes to protestant church once or twice and sleeps because hes useless. makima is baptised and goes to local catholic churches not the cathedrals she supports the local christians.FUCK i just remembered the country mouse city mouse thing. ame is a liar and hates everything and loves everything and never feels content. i like to imagine him as a country mouse so fucking bad i want him to chill out one day and go to those middle of nowheres i know exist in america(can i shove cana in here and get away with it). why are they in the city if they are country mice? because..... you know..... you understand..... another w for eternal unhappiness (refer to title of this post)(suicide is discouraged in the workplace)

they are evil bosses i am the employee and when i ask for a break they gaze at me with a vacant stare and smile and i know in my heart they are viewing me like i am beneath them. i get scared and run away but truth is they didnt hear my request. they do not register individual people

if they met they would know immediately and viceversa. because everyone knows subconsciously because lying is futile and everything melts away. ame:i know a toxic boymom when i see one... okay im kidding makima is a toxic boymom if u push the chainsawman in ur head 🙂 ame as a kind of control devil works inmy head. i really believe ame was a polite child but demanding in many ways. sincerely wanting.

ame:gun devil i'll give you one year of the lifespans of the american people. in exchange i want you to kill makima—that is... the control devil (i never got around to drawing this)(ame and gun devil can you imagine)

or:gun devil i'll give you one year of the lifespans of the american people. in exchange i want you to kill alfred f jones—that is... the united states of america (paradox)

throughout all this i wanted to cite the best makima artist in the world ever but i'd feel bad if they wouldn't want to be associated with evil hetalia america blog. also i want to be normal and not cringe at being cringe just becayse i think makima was a thunderstrike of genius that i shouldn't taint. ame is a more flexible character to me for obvious reasons. this is how i'd shove ame into makima's role. but u couldn't put makima as ame. only one way. im okay with that. concept idea consensus words fear control blablabla u get the point i hate using words dont care sleepy now

#ame bible #hetalia & chainsawman #maybe this post disappears later i dont know

[cathchicken]

Oops I tripped on a rock-

Welp timeline change ig

Sooooo this is the new collector and king AU I made today. As you can tell, it is very different from my normal aus. I’m tempted to not even call it an AU at all, since it is almost one in the most literal sense…

Essentially: king and the collector exist as different people in a completely different witch and demon universe. The collector himself is a witch, or “wizard” as I call them. King is, well, a demon still, or a monster more specifically. They live somewhat different lives, and are somewhat different people, but are still collector and king nevertheless.

Definitely not a traditional AU. But I think this will be fun

The collector: he is a young wizard who is mainly socially reclusive. Probably late teens, as compared to the typical ToH collector. Not immortal. Their communication skills are… not great, and often resorts to talking with their hands. They try their best. His status as a wizard means somewhat; he is able to provide spells to non-magic folk, but for relatively cheaper costs. It thankfully is enough to make him a reasonable living. He’s not afraid to chew on a few stray comet newts every once in awhile…

King: a monster. He is usually ignored by most people, and often prefers to stay unnoticed anyways. He one day find the collector, however, and is allowed to crash for a bit before he continues on. A nomadic lifestyle is common for monsters, anyway. But soon, they get close. And King decides each day, essentially, “tomorrow I’ll leave”

TW FOR BELOW: disturbing themes mainly

Their overall relationship is extremely complex. The collector… craves intimacy. He’s not sure how it really works though, but he’s sure what he wants is more than just something to fill the void of his loneliness. He sees king as an opportunity, but doesn’t want to force anything. They are pretty desperate though. King, on the other hand, has his own issues. As you can see in the art, he doesn’t actually possess a skull-like face. It’s just a mask. King isn’t afraid to show his own face however… he just eventually found the mask as a way to better express himself, in to an almost idealistic fashion, without his insecurities getting in the way. But sometimes… his own feelings of wanting a genuine relationship bubble up… especially around his new buddy, Collector. The Collector says he should embrace his inner self, as it’s what makes him beautiful. But it’s soon pretty obvious that when King lets go, he REALLY lets go. He can’t control himself anymore, and sometimes ends up hurting collector. He knows it’s bad, but with the constant praise of the collector, he chooses not to stop. The collector also gets the feeling that he shouldn’t convince king to keep giving in, but he also knows that this is essentially Kings raw and unaltered version of affection… and he likes it. He’s so happy at the thought of receiving love and friendship, he doesn’t realize he is being bitten… and scratched… and torn apart…

In the end, this AU is about two people who, essentially, are not neurotypical in any way. They are trying to fit into societal norms, but also wanting to be able to be themselves in a healthy way. This relationship, as you can tell, starts off really dirty. But if I ever develop this story a bit more, I want it to be about them both finding how to care for each other in their own way, but also in a healthy way. It’s not that they won’t make good friends, they both have just never had a friend before. This is a journey they will face together

Ok it is 3 am. Sleep time!!!

#ToH #the owl house #ToH au #the collector #toh collector #king clawthorne #platnium bones #my art #sketch #cathchicken

[amerricanartwork]

More Love for Lilypad

Hi! To be honest, I don’t know why I’m writing this, I guess because reading everything has moved me more than I probably thought.

I don’t know how much text he let me put

I have read the current Lilypad publication and I honestly loved it, otherwise I would be here writing like an excited silly girl.

How do you connect the story of Luna and No Harassment with Sleeping Beauty (From the Disney movie because the original story is horrible, believe me, you wouldn’t want to use it if it were the original), it’s so beautiful that it moved me and connected me more with the ships. how much I love them and lilypad mainly sadly for my part I don’t see much art from them (I think it happens to me with ships that generally are not so popular or so loved, it happens to me with the message of love from SpearmasterXHunter, Godmode SaintXEnot, lilypad and PebblesXSun )

The topic, I loved reading these ideas that come from your ingenious and beautiful imagination, I want to read more of this and that would be all! Nice day/night :3!

PD: As a warning, I don’t know where I had to send this and I’m sorry if I didn’t have to send it here, and I take this opportunity to say that your ArtiXGourmand is simply beautiful and I adore it!

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

Oh my, @amaerumeru, thank you so much for this submission!!

I’m so glad to see someone enjoy those ideas so much, and to hear my essay has inspired some more love for these two sweethearts! Seeing people sympathize at least with the fairytale stuff is a very pleasant surprise!

Regarding the lack of content, I feel you, I’ve had my fair share of rarepairs across my fandoms too (heck, I’m even considering adopting a super rare RW ship right now...), and not being able to find content of them is always pretty rough! Although for me, the struggle doesn’t always come from lacking any content of the ship, but lacking the specific kind of content I want for it. 

Part of the reason why I began that extension of the Lilypad essay by listing the ship tropes I love and particularly explaining the main two was because, to me, how a ship is depicted is just as important as which ship is depicted. It’s so much so I actually won’t like content of a ship I normally love if I don’t like the way the characters are and act within it, or if I don’t like the ideas being shown through the characters enough. 

Both situations exist with Lilypad, and although I can excuse the lack of content as Rain World generally not having much canon ship potential, the portrayal struggle is one I have faced in basically every fandom I’ve been in, where no one seems to really appreciate those traditional dynamics I love with the ships I enjoy the most. Most of the time I still enjoy the content because it’s pretty cute and romantic, and I don’t dislike anything about it enough to cancel out that cuteness/romance factor, but it’s still not what I love most, tailored to what I identify with the greatest; I’ll eat it, but it’s not my favorite flavor. And with the New Year and self-improvement being a common focus this time of year, I figured I’d finally get the courage to take my classic art approach with these themes now; if I can’t find someone else who’s made the content I want, I’ll make it myself (like this sketch I drew up for this post), and just maybe they’ll find me!

And find someone I have! Once again, I’m so glad someone appreciates these older fairytale tropes, and I really do feel inspired to openly make more content including these ideas! I’ve always had a habit of thinking about not just ships, but fiction in general through the lens of the poetic significance characters, scenes, and plot points do or can have, and recently I’ve developed a habit of linking characters and ships back to songs and previous characters from other cartoons (like I did with Sleeping Beauty here), and trust me, if you want more content of this sort, I could both write similar essays deriving these themes within other ships AND make a lot more Lilypad content like this! I mean, after posting that addition I realized somehow forgot to talk about “Once Upon a Dream�� specifically and how it so perfectly fits this ship, so I’m already probably gonna do a post and drawing on that sometime soon — !

And one last thing, thanks for liking the Artimand stuff too! Artimand is probably a better example of my “I like this ship in general, but I really wanna see more of these traditional themes in content for it“ attitude, so it’s nice to see that’s enjoyable to other people on some level too!

 Big thanks for the submission, a reason to ramble even more about Lilypad and my favorite ship tropes, and inspiration to make that drawing, Meru! And hey, I love hearing the deeper reasons why other people ship what they do too, so if you ever wanna ramble about your own ships, I’m all ears!

#submission #others:amaerumeru #art #artwork #drawing #sketch #wip #digital #digital art #fanart #rain world #iterator #rw iterator #looks to the moon #LttM #rw lttm #no significant harassment #NSH #rw nsh #rw lilypad #rw lifeline #rivulet #rw rivulet #hunter #rw hunter #quetzalli draws #quetzalli pairs #quetzalli's thoughts #maybe i'll finish this if i find the time #I really love how this sketch turned out

[audioroleplayconfessions]

https://www.tumblr.com/audioroleplayconfessions/733894052580327424/i-cant-get-into-other-audio-roleplays-because-the

Answering the questions!

Thank you Admin! ♪⁠ ⁠\⁠(⁠^⁠ω⁠^⁠\⁠ ⁠)

I like a heathly combination of fluff and plot though I don't mind either on their own. I prefer cinematic stories with more parts!

Slow burn is definitely a favorite of mine! I like all genres but I do have a preference for fantasy storylines.

I absolutely avoid the fan made y/n-esque audio rp with already existing characters i.e Midoriya, Todoroki, Bakugou, no hate to the ones who like or make those, props to the voice impressions. I find it amazing they could imitate the voices but they just aren't for me though. Original characters are much more my thing.

Otherwise I'm fine with regards to everything else!

So far I only like GBA, Redacted and Sundew. I prefer soft, gentle mid-ranged to deeper voices. I like deep voices but I don't think I'd like a voice as deep as the mariana trench lol. Higher pitched voices also aren't my thing and if it's too whispery then it won't do it for me as well.

I'm pretty picky ain't I? Apologies if this is inconvenient, I have no one to ask for recommendations and I'm particularly new to the community (⁠*⁠´⁠ω⁠｀⁠*⁠)

Warmest regards, much love, numerous thanks and salutations,

T.

Oh, I have some recommendations for you! My opinions are a bit biased here (I have a very strong preference for plot-heavy audios over fluff) but it looks like a lot of my favorites suit your tastes. I dislike fanfiction stuff too, especially MHA stuff and I also prefer gentle voice ranges that aren't too high or too low.

I'll give you a few recommendations.

#1: Escaped Audios! He's the very best VA at making you feel like you are living in a movie. All of his stories are heartfelt and exciting, most have slow-burn romances. Most of his characters have a gentle, mid-range voice that isn't too high or too deep (though he as a couple deeper voiced characters). I like his style of acting because he sounds very sincere and "real" when he talks. My two favorite playlists from him are Matador Gothic (his dramatic vampire slayer adventure) and The New Jersey Rats (a mafia-themed Romantic comedy).

I've followed him since Matador Gothic came out a little over a year ago but he's only recently started to gain hype after being super under-rated for a long time. If you like GBA's style of story telling you'll probably like him too. The only downside you might experience is that his stories usually don't leave a lot of room for fluff, so there are no cuddle audios or sleep aids etc on his channel. That said he's my current favorite, is incredibly creative and original, and he's amazing at supercharging my brain with serotonin.

#2: Obsidian Lantern. He has some of the most immersive sound production of any VA I've ever seen. Some of his earlier stuff is a little weird and clumsy but once he catches his footing he's great. His voice is very gentle and comforting to me, and he'll even speak a little Spanish sometimes.

His Gator Boys series is great and actually ties in with the lore of a few other VA's universes! I also really like his Merfolk series. He also plays around with common tropes while putting his own unique spin on them and I really like that too. He also makes all of his own art, and he not only draws thumbnails but actually makes illustrations of the scenes in his audios which is super cool. Overall really great, I think you'd like him.

#3. ZSaku VA. His playlists start out a little slow but over time his style evolved to be more cinematic. I really like his Vampire series (the Xanthus playlist) and his two interconnected crime series (The Elias and Issac playlists). They're good from the outset and just get better. Lately he's been making higher-stakes stories with more collabs and I love that. He's also collabed with a bunch of the other people I mentioned, which I love to see.

He has a nice balance between fluff and story-telling, and lots of his plots/characters connect to one another. If you like Redacted Audio you'll probably like ZSaku. The only downside is that he takes a long time in between episodes of each series, and works on multiple series at the same time, so if you really get into one playlist you might end up feeling a bit impatient.

#4: YuuriVoice. He's got a rotating cast of characters and he's one of my long-time comfort channels. He has ongoing plots throughout all of his series, but his stuff is mostly character-based. It's worth listening to everything and getting attached to his characters, as their development gets better and more complex over time.

He can do a pretty broad range of voices too, and they all feel unique and fresh. He has done some MHA/fanfic type audios before in the past but over time he transitioned to focusing on his own original characters and I love all of them.

#5: Shining Armor ASMR. I like him more as a comfort/fun/fluff channel. A great channel for listening to little bite sized audios with fun character concepts and lower stakes. I also like his voice and his accent, and it's fun seeing him do different voices within his accent. Definitely more on the fluff side but I think you'd appreciate him!

That's about it! There are more channels I like but based on your tastes I think you would like those channels. Also, honorable mention to Desmond ASMR. I love him but he's been on hiatus for like a year now!

Feel free to leave your own recommendations/cosigns/etc in the comments and reblogs.

Love, Ringmaster.

#audio roleplay #boyfriend asmr #redacted audio #yuurivoice #desmond asmr #zsakuva #escaped audios #good boy audios #asmr roleplay #recommendations #Shining Armor ASMR #Obsidian Lantern #ZSaku VA

[sovaghoul]

🔮 Tarot Tips for Beginners 🔮

🔮🕯🔮🕯🔮

🪄 Choosing Your Cards 🪄

You might encounter different opinions on where your first deck should come from. Some say it should be a gift. Others disagree. I'm of the opinion that it should resonate with you in some way, whether that's the art, or the theme, etc., and the method of obtaining it (gift vs. purchase) is secondary. However, I do recommend starting with a Rider-Waite-Smith (RWS) based deck, as that's the most common set of symbolism for Tarot. If you like the original RWS deck, great! Use it! Most commercial beginner Tarot kits come with this deck. If you want art that's more detailed but uses the same symbolism, try the Morgan-Greer deck. The "Radiant" or "Universal" versions of the RWS deck are other decent choices.

I also recommend a deck with a full book, rather than a booklet (or Little White Book, LWB), as there are going to be more in-depth meanings. LWBs generally only have a brief list of keywords. Full sets with actual books cost more, but in my opinion and experience, are worth it.

The simpler the deck, the easier it'll be to learn from. The original RWS deck has simplistic art, but every part of the picture was intentionally used to convery meaning, from objects to colors. Once you have a basic understanding of what meaning those symbols impart, it's easier to translate that to decks with more detailed and/or aesthetic art, where that art may or may not be as intentional.

In recent years, many artists and deck creators have begun offering "expanded" decks, with additional cards, usually in the Major Arcana, that add to the theme and/or aesthetic of the deck. For your first deck, though, I recommend sticking with the standard 78 cards; 22 Major Arcana, and 56 Minor Arcana.

🔮🕯🔮🕯🔮

🍷Prepping Your Cards🍷

One thing I was taught, was before using a new deck (even before opening it, if you like), is to sleep with it under your pillow (or at least near to you) for three nights, to let it absorb your energy. This is of course optional, but I've found it to be effective in attuning and aligning with the cards. Then, you may want to look through them in order, taking time to admire the art, and see if any symbols jump out at you. You can write these down if you like. Then you can shuffle them, with focused intent, adding more of your energies.

After all that, another thing I was taught was to wrap the deck in silk. The reason for this, is that silk doesn't "breathe," it doesn't easily let air through, as opposed to a material like cotton (if you've ever worn silk, you know what I mean!). It is an old belief that your spirit is carried on your breath, so if the deck can't "breathe" because of the silk, your energies will stay safely within it. This is also, of course, totally optional, but then the silk can easily double as a reading cloth. Fabric and crafting/hobby supply stores may have a bin of scraps, and that can be a good place to find cloths, whatever material you decide to use.

If I trust a person, I'm more than willing to let them handle and look through my decks. Some people advise only letting someone handle the deck if they're shuffling before a reading. Go with whatever feels better to you. You may start with not wanting anyone else to touch them, but relax about it later as you get more comfortable. It's completely your choice. But, with others' decks, it's of course, polite to ask first.

🔮🕯🔮🕯🔮

🗡 Learning Your Cards 🗡

If you have a full book with your deck, read through it, especially any introductory sections apart from the card meanings. Usually, the deck creator/artist will give a feel for how the theme of the deck conveys the traditional Tarot meanings, and this can help you understand their cards better.

You may want to keep a Tarot journal at first. One recommendation is to look through the entire deck, book in hand, and write down keywords, the meanings in your own words, and anything else that you feel can help you remember the meaning of that card (symbols that stand out to you, etc.). Some people do one card a day, or make sure they dedicate a whole page to each card, however long that takes. Others meditate on each card, and write down those results, whether in addition to other notes or not. Whatever works best for you is the right thing to do. There are commercial Tarot journals available online and in some stores, but if you don't want one or can't afford one, a regular notebook is more than adequate.

In general, the Major Arcana (or Trumps) represent forces out of your control, the Will of the Universe, forces acting upon you. The Minors then are things you can control, your own Will, how your choices can change the situation around you. Court cards can represent a specific person in your life or the situation, or an attitude or perspective you're holding in the situation. Each numbered card (or Pip) has a generalized meaning as well, such as Aces being beginnings and Tens representing completion.

Several places online have handy correspondance charts for quick card meanings, what the numbers of the Pips mean, and what the Suits represent, so you can easily discern general meanings if you know those two pieces of information. For example, a 2 can represent a choice, and the suits of Cups deals with emotion. So the Two of Cups could indicate an emotional choice. If such correspondances help you, keep that kind of chart handy as you learn.

Some decks also include reverse meanings. Personally, I don't read reversals, because I don't view the meanings of the symbols and colors in a card as changing just because it's upside-down from the reader's vantage point (because it's likely right-side-up from the other person's point of view! The orientation is relative, but the inherent meaning is not). If you want to read reversals, I suggest putting off learning them until after you feel more comfortable with their upright/standard meaning, just so you don't confuse yourself.

There are Kabbalistic (Hebrew mysticism) and Astrological associations with Tarot also, but they aren't necessary for learning and interpreting the cards. If, once you feel you have the basics down, and you want to go deeper, look into those associations then. But for now, especially if you aren't already familiar with Kabbalah or Astrology, don't let yourself get bogged down in the esotericism of those aspects.

🔮🕯🔮🕯🔮

🌟 Using Your Cards 🌟

Some people recommend reading for yourself first. I personally have trouble reading for myself, ever after 30+ years of reading Tarot. I'm too close to my own situations. But others find it the easiest thing in the world. Try it out. Neither result is "wrong" or "bad."

When you prep for a reading, you can do any number of things to set the mood, from an elaborate ritual-opening type routine, with candlelight and incense and music, to just sitting down and doing it. Whatever makes you feel most at ease. Whomever the reading is for should shuffle the cards, and concentrate on the question or situation they want insight into. This can go on for as long as they/you feel is necessary, until the cards "feel ready." This is an intuitive thing and doesn't have a time limit. If you're reading for someone else and don't want them to touch your cards, just ask them to concentrate on their question/situation while you shuffle.

The easiest spreads are the one-card pull (one card for something like, "How will my day go?"), and a three-card spread. The three cards can be past-present-future, or mind-body-spirit, pretty much any three factors to the situation. If something is unclear with the one card for a given position, pull out more cards, usually 2 or 3, to expand on it. At the end of a reading, I'll also look at the card on the bottom of the deck, and read that as "What it's not," something entirely unrelated to the situation that you can put out of your mind.

I usually lay out all the cards in a spread face down first, stating the position, and then revealing them as the spread progresses. I take note of which Suits show up multiple times, how many Minors, Majors, Court cards, and if there are repeating numbers. Sometimes you can find patterns to these things that help to reveal more information. I also make note of any cards that may fall out while shuffling; sometimes it's significant, and sometimes it's just because I have small hands.

Some readers use a Significator, a card to represent the person asking the question. Usually, this is a Court card and is chosen based on the description (either physically or personality). For example, if the reading was for a young man with dark hair and eyes, and say, the Page of Pentacles in your deck looks like that, you'd place that card first. Or if the reading is for an intelligent and analytical woman, you might choose Queen of Swords. For me, though, this particular practice is unnecessary. I view the card that represents the Querant (the person asking the question) as giving insight into their current feelings regarding the situation at hand. Since that's a fluid factor, the card that represents them in a spread can and should change as well.

Never hesitate to look at the book or your own notes during a reading. You're under no obligation to memorize the meanings of every card. Also, don't try to force every keyword and bit of the meaning to apply. Read them over, and see what stands out to you, what connects to a previous card, what makes sense. This is an intuitive approach to reading the cards, and it can take time to cultivate. But in general, trust your gut. When someone shuffles the cards, they put the energy of the question/situation into them. So what comes out, is only what got put in.

Tarot in general usually isn't the best for yes-or-no questions. Asking how/what/why questions are better, so if the question can be rephrased, try that. Also, Tarot isn't "fortune telling," per se. You can ask about the future, but the answer may be vague or confusing, because the future depends on the choices you make between then and now. You can remember the advice or the idea the cards have, but don't expect it to be set in stone; even asking the question changes the situation!

Lastly, when I clean up my cards, I like to disperse the ones drawn for the reading through the deck, one at a time, in random places, and then shuffle. For me, it disperses the information from that reading throughout the deck, and so helps both the deck and me, the reader, continue to learn and grow in our understanding of each other.

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If there's anything you feel I haven't covered, or something you want me to clarify, feel free to comment or message me privately. Happy reading!

#occultism #tarot

[peacereturnedtothevalley]

I am not legally bound to this but I keep feeling a need to find a common theme w all the fatt PCs per player so here is my not-peer reviewed analysis (obviously not completely universal due to the sheer number of characters):

dre characters - unnassuming but surprising when they follow their convictions to shocking or violent ends. may or may not sleep/eat/die

ali characters - blorbos and icons. Romance is important in shaping the characters 

janine characters - macabre, fully in her aesthetic wheelhouse or explorations outside of that comfort zone

sylvi characters - little guy and or really cool and or have family issues

art characters - stoic, explorations of religious worship, or a guy completely out of his depths may or may not alter life as we know it (i dont know enough about duvall)

keith characters - fun and funny and not taken seriously. unsurprisingly follow their convictions but to unexpectedly sad ends

jack characters - wide variety, multiplicity, convincing in-character role play, one brit allowed

Not planning on elaborating on all of these but for Jack wrt multiplicity (some c/w + marielda characters spoilers below 😱):

hitchcocks is twins

audy is audy and also two divines

fourteen fifteen has multiple bodies and got 4 of them on screen, each with distinct personality shifts even if the core is still themself

this doesnt count but the inherent nature of faction game

accounting for solos we have

lem (lem)

clem (clem)

kalar <3

pickman <3

so overall a lot a variety anyway

ALso elaborating on Sylvi characters (little guy really cool family issues):

Aubrey: little guy

Ephrim: really cool, family issues (lonely boy where do I belong where is home)

Echo: little guy really cool family issues

Millie - really cool, family issues (does being a clone count)

Virtue - really cool

Hazard - little guy

Cori - little guy family issues

#friends at the table #this is mostly nonsense #counterweight spoilers #marielda spoilers #fatt meta

[ijuststareatstuffhereok89]

For fanfic writer asks:

😈🛒✨🎶🛠️🎨🦅👀🤗🧠🤲😬✅⏳🥰

(sorry for asking for so many!)

wow, thanks for the homework! ^^

😈Has there been a point in a story where you did something just to be playfully mean to your readers? Sometimes I'll linger a bit too long in a will-they-won't-they story so people start to squirm a little, or I'll cut off a oneshot just before the smut begins. Always leave 'em asking for more!

🛒What are some common things you incorporate in your fics? Themes, feels, scenes, imagery, etc. I think I always bring out a nurturing element to any iteration of Loki I write, no matter how intense or not-soft the incarnation is. I find that sort of thing in a man irresistible. Guess that's why I married someone who specializes in the pediatric side of dentistry. Mr. L is more maternal than I am lol

✨Give you and your writing a compliment. Go on now. You know you deserve it. 😉 Aww gee...um...well...you've gotten better in the two years you've been here?

🎶Do you listen to music while you write? What song have you been playing on loop lately? I sure do! For Time and the Trickster I've been listening to the Murray Gold soundtracks for the Tennant Era on a loop to get into the mood, but honestly I listen more for the background noise than the mood.

🛠️What tools/programs/apps do you use to write? Google docs, because it's easier to pull up old versions of files in case I lose them.

🎨How do you feel about fan art of your stories? I will never be famous enough to get any fan art of my stories, but if someone ever did make something based off one of my fics, I'd marry them.

🦅 Do you outline fics or fly by the seat of your pants? I outline plots and chapter progression, but when writing each chapter, I give myself little checkpoints to hit, and then I kind of improvise how they get to each checkpoint.

👀 Tell me about an up and coming wip please! Welp, the first chapter of A Song for the Fallen drops on Friday. It's my first multi-chapter fic to not feature Loki in any way, but it's a six-part miniseries about love being SnappedTM out of existence, renewed hope, and a love triangle featuring Steve Rogers and Bucky Barnes, so there's that. It's going to be a bit lower-action, higher-drama.

🤗 What advice would you give to new fanfic writers that are just getting started? Follow your daydreams, and if the plot sounds too dramatic, it probably isn't dramatic enough.

🧠 Pick a character, and I'll tell you my favorite headcanon for them. For me or you? I'm going to assume for me, and it's Loki. I think my favorite minor headcanon is that Loki is a man who loves scented oil being massaged all over his back, and that his favorite scent is lavender.

🤲 Would you please share a snippet of a wip? "As your eyelids fluttered shut and your sadness lulled you to sleep, Bucky’s lips kissed your imagination goodnight, and you felt warm at last." - A Song for the Fallen

😬 Which of your fics would you be most horrified for friends, family, or coworkers to stumble upon? Any of my smut, but most certainly Dechire!

✅ What's something that appears in your fics over and over and over again, even if you don't mean to? A lot of actiony climaxes, for some reason, like an MCU flick. My last WIP ended with fighting a cult, the one before ended with someone faking their bloody death, and the one before that Loki almost lost his head. Like, I need to back off the mad climaxes for a while, they are pretty exhausting to write.

⏳How long does it take you to write a fic, or a chapter? A single oneshot or a chapter usually gets done in less than a week.

🥰How do you feel about reader interaction? Are you open to receiving questions about your fics? Always!

#ask game #last time I answered this many questions at once they gave me a diploma

[fancy-rock-dove]

Chapter Head Art for Maybe Sprout Wings (Full set)

I have had just, So Much Fun working on these. This story really is built on such a great concept, and with such fantastic worldbuilding, and with action so thoroughly in tune with its themes that it really does reward digging into. @moorishflower's writing kills me in the best of ways (and in the sleep deprivation kind of ways but I have no regrets), and designing them was a great time. And on top of that, everyone here has been just, so lovely, so I'm very excited to post the full set of chapter head illustrations!

Stylistic consistency continues to elude me, but hopefully these look like a matched enough set regardless. Cursive titles are the chapter titles, block print is my own title for the illustration. Just for fun, and in tribute to the (probably truly unhinged) amount of time I spent thinking about Symbolism while making these, I'm including one selected Fun Fact relevant to my thoughts on some part of each of these at the bottom of this post in case that interests anyone!

Ch 1: Baobabs are some of the oldest living flowering plants on the planet and can live up to two millennia. I have a lot of feelings about the sheer volume of life these trees can contain (both spatially and in time) and what that means for how we look at them.

Ch 2: If Abel were looking to avoid anachronism, he could still absolutely have left out books that were machine-printed with moveable type, but they'd probably have to have been in Chinese or Korean, from somewhere that had already widely adopted the technology by the 14th century.

Ch 3: Homer's works contain what is believed to be the first written mention of apples in Ancient Greece. Its writing is about as many centuries removed from the events of the Odyssey as the events of this chapter are from the first recorded mention of apples in England.

Ch 4: An ink quill is definitely more aesthetic, but graphite had actually been discovered in England and pencils invented in the decades prior to Shakespeare's first writings. It's entirely possible he could've been jotting down quick notes with a pencil like any stagehand today.

Ch 5: Though Corinthian style architecture is named for the Greek city of Corinth, with which it's associated, its inventor Callimachus is actually thought to be Athenian. The spiny, curling acanthus leaves used in its motifs are generally associated with long life, immortality, and rebirth. Go figure.

Ch 6: Symbolically, clovers are a sign that others are thinking of you. They're associated with good fortune, and apparently also male energy, and seen as a sign of protection. Excellent Fiddler's Green groundcover here.

Ch 7: Three-masted, fully-rigged ships became common in Europe by the 16th or 17th centuries during the Age of Sail because the extra space for sails became more necessary with the increase in open-ocean voyages. Making them the go-to type of vessel for both trade and exploration.

Ch 8: The simple but effective design of drop spindles is largely unchanged from their first documented use in the first century CE. there's evidence of their use for spinning (making a single, stronger thread from many disparate fibers) dating back at least to the advent of agriculture, some 10,000 years ago. Definitely what I picture Clotho using.

Ch 9: The fractal, branching structures of roots, lightning, and Lichtenberg figures are all self-similar: you can get much closer and they'll still appear very similar or identical to the way they were at a distance.

Ch 10: The throne room scenes of Sandman were shot in Guildford Cathedral. The Dreaming's Castle was intentionally designed to be a mashup of a whole ton of architectural styles, but the facade and throne room definitely feel gothic or neo-gothic. It's been a classic for centuries and the gothic-style window is definitely the kind I picture Hob's room having, at least on days the castle's feeling a bit fancy.

Ch 11: The item at the front left there is a weaving shuttle. According to Artemidorus, while dreaming of most kinds of looms indicates that you should expect rest, dreaming of a warp-weighted loom -- the kind which was common in bronze-age Greece and enables multiple people to work together on the weaving -- indicates an upcoming journey.

Ch 12: I feel like I've already talked about the symbolism of this one elsewhere, so for this one, instead of a fact, a comment (that I found fun): The binding circle in this only shows up in areas covered by the puddle of the Dreaming Sea, the means by which the nature of the "gilded ring" was elucidated. :)

Ch 13: Greek ships often had eyes on their bow, which among other things, was intended to imbue them with some will and ability to avoid obstacles. The Argo famously had eyes and also some innate awareness/intelligence, and could actually speak to the crew.

Ch 14: While Calliope, muse of epic poetry and eloquence (and the one invoked at the beginning of the Odyssey) is associated with a book, scroll, or tablet, Erato, muse of romantic poetry and love stories, is depicted in crowns of rose and myrtle. My title for this one was very nearly just (Invocation pt. ii). Also, I have a headcanon that Dream has only seen very bad performances of the Odysseyif ( he's seen any at all) since antiquity. Any show that literally begins by calling his ex is something he's not gonna stay for unless he's really sure she won't actually show up.

Whew! thanks to anyone who actually read to the end of my rambling here! Clearly this whole story has been really, really fun to just turn over in my mind. Cool stuff just keeps falling out of it! Since I would literally be two photos under Tumblr's limit on this post otherwise, how about a couple bonus alternate versions at the end here? Because why not?? I added some red accents to a couple of these for fun, and though it doesn't fit the for the chapter headings, I do think it looks cool!

#Maybe Sprout Wings #fic rec #my art #the sandman #hob gadling #dream of the endless #long post #sorry? #how do I write art posts idk #dreamling

[crepesuzette2023]

I just read your reference of “ I only have eyes for you” theme and it’s just so interesting because I’ve recently seen John’s titled collage for Paul (and George, Ringo, and Elton) on the dash and have been thinking about it for a while now. I think it’s interesting how Paul’s is the only one to not have his photo in it, as if the collage is centered on the feeling Paul illicits from him. Which seems to be complex ‘dark’ feelings. The main colors are black and red; which to me evoke a sense of foreboding yet also viscerally sexual. The fact that women feature heavily in it—either a reference to Paul’s Casanova reputation or how women are used as a buffer between whatever was between them? The darkness of John’s collage adds a heaviness to his chosen title, “I only have eyes for you”, it’s not literal but it encapsulates their mutual obsession and possessiveness of their partnership. What do you think? George’s was rather telling as well.

First of all, I love the title John gave his collage for Paul. I Only Have Eyes for You. With Paul having these famously huge eyes, it's clearly (<- ha!) an allusion to his looks. A tease? A compliment? Remember, George drew a caricature exaggerating Paul's eyes and lashes; I wouldn't be surprised if this was a common theme amongst the Beatles (Paul's the prettiest, etc.) if not between Paul and John.

But it's also true the other way around: John's hypnotic gaze (due to his shortsightedness [and refusal to wear his hot pair of glasses]) was also noted. Mike McCartney mentioned it in detail, more than once: how he met only two people with a particular, distant-yet-piercing gaze that made them magnetic and dead cool: Sandie Shaw and John Lennon.

And John only had eyes for Paul. Aw.

The women in the collage are so interesting. Not smiling or seducing, but standing still, or sleeping, or sleepwalking? My attention goes to the face in the upper center. Is she wearing a nun's habit? Is she in agony or in ecstasy? And look at that glow below her, like lava.

The cut out eyes and the cut out fingernails. The eyes like buttons. Breasts as eyes.

It's certainly not a 'pretty girls for the Casanova'—collage!

Are they a buffer between him and Paul? Maybe.

They certainly embody John's love of the brooding and dangerous over the pretty and safe. That applies to women, but probably everyone, including Paul. If Paul had been a good boy with neat handwriting and musical diligence, and nothing more, I don't think John would have had eyes for him.

I love how thick and layered it is. Looking at it, I feel I could dig my hands into it. Speaking of: The visceral sexuality you mention—I see and feel it, too—but what say you, does t come from the bodies, or the hands that are everywhere? There's a lot of touching. The title is a distraction...

Also, a brief final thought: I wonder when John made this. Did he make it while he was still 'under the influence (mentorship)' of Stuart at art college? Maybe John tried to impress Paul. Or give him the message 'this is my language now.'

I don't know anything about the context of John making the collage. If it was a gift for Paul, he put a lot of time and effort in it. I think it's really good. Maybe he made it for class and gave it to Paul later, though.

I admit I have not given as much attention to the other collages yet, and I couldn't find a good, large file of them to look at properly. They look more similar to drawings and less like a painting, I think...? Perhaps a development of John's style? Just speculating, no deep thoughts.

Thanks for the ask, this was fun to think about (and look at...)

#asks #John's collage for Paul #i only have eyes for you #collage #Beatles art #John Lennon art #paul mccartney #the bull of Liverpool #mike mccartney #sandie shaw #(mentioned)

[mswyrr]

Random aside, but I’ve been thinking about Carmen Berzatto as a “realistic fiction” version of some of the same themes handled in Peeta Mellark through the vehicle of Sci Fi metaphor.

I always read the hijacking--and how its violence and overtaking of his identity comes after Peeta expressly says all he wants, believing he will die in the Games, is to not become their creature, to not be changed from who he wants to be--as a great metaphor for patterns of abuse and how it gets inside you and can be so hard to uproot and for the way patriarchies beat boys into violent shapes, into being useful tools, and away from the things they love and truly want.

It works for me because it overtakes him but only for a time - in the end, he has the grace and support to embrace the care, love, art, and food that he wants his life to be, even though the hurt leaves marks. I connect that with the idea of how there can be times when, no matter how hard you want to “not be shitty,” it can be easy to lose yourself - but you can find a way back, you can have a good life on your own terms with scars.

I see it as two different approaches to talking about similar things - different genres nonetheless sharing in common the necessity of the moment of losing yourself and then having that come back, through your struggle but not alone, not all by your own power, also through the people around you loving you, for the love you put out into the world coming back to you when you most need it.

Because it’s a dramady and draws on the traditions of comedy--the uplifting side of life, vs the tragic side--and we already start with the tragic loss of one Berzatto son who didn’t find his way through the underworld, I think Carmy is going to come out of the cold, dark place (walk-in fridge or underworld? Both?) in s3. The alternative would be a very.... odd story, I think. Because if they have him keep going down down down and never rising, then the whole thing collapses. The Bear is lost, the people who have become a community scatter. It just doesn’t fit the tone and themes for me. We *start* at a place of everyone being scattered and damaged by Mikey’s loss - it would be nihilistic and repetitive and dramatically uninteresting to do the same thing with the younger brother. And the writing has never displayed that kind of vibe.

But I also think s3 will begin with him continuing his descent before hitting rock bottom and rising. It’ll get worse before it gets better. The descent is fraught with hope, though - because when the person comes back from that they’ve dealt with the things that haunt them. Their wounds have become healed up scars? And they own the person they want to be now, rather than being torn between the influence of others and their own heart’s yearning for better.

Regardless of what setting and genre you’re using, it’s a powerful arc, the descent and the rise and I’m looking forward to it because I believe they’ll pull it off well - they’ve done so beautifully with other characters struggling and rising, why not the lead?

BTW, I will curl up in shipper feels forever if part of his rise from the “underworld” involves Sydney symbolically giving him back to himself--giving him back things he wants to be vs things he’s being drawn into by the pressures on him--like how Katniss gaves things Peeta shared with her back to him: 

At a few minutes before four, Peeta turns to me again. "Your favorite color ... it's green?" "That's right." Then I think of something to add. "And yours is orange." "Orange?" He seems unconvinced. "Not bright orange. But soft. Like the sunset," I say. "At least, that's what you told me once." "Oh." He closes his eyes briefly, maybe trying to conjure up that sunset, then nods his head. "Thank you." But more words tumble out. "You're a painter. You're a baker. You like to sleep with the windows open. You never take sugar in your tea. And you always double-knot your shoelaces." Then I dive into my tent before I do something stupid like cry.  

Who you are, in the end, is who you want to be and the best of yourself you share with others comes back to you. It’s doesn’t just disappear.

#carmen berzatto #peeta mellark #my meta #bear meta #the bear #i guess i really love #sweet artistic cooking dudes #who are canonically mentally ill #with abusive moms??? #lol #and more seriously: i love the promise and hope of depicting that struggle #and even if you fall for a time all is not lost #you are not worthless or doomed #to be 'their creature' #just because they left some scars and influenced you #being mentally ill isn't doom either; it's just a thing #the mere fact of that damage doesn't determine who you are or what your life has to be #even though it requires struggle and shapes you #both carmy and peeta are also about how brutal #the world is to gentle boys #who want to make art #and live at peace

[sp4mja]

So I've decided to accept who I am and make a OP x QSMP AU. But before making any art I made a list of possible Devil Fruits each member would have plus some lore

This will be a long and extremely self-indulgent post, so everything regarding this AU is under the cut.

So, both the hispanics and the English speakers are invited to the island, they all range from ex marines to civilians to pirates. The only thing they have in common is that everyone is a devil fruit user, which quickly raises their suspicions about the island.

The logic behind having so many Devil Fruit users together is that the Federation purposefully gathered them all together. Expect for the brazilians and the french, who just happened to stumble upon the island, some of them do have devil fruits but not all.

And that's one of the reasons why the Federation dislike them, as they don't fit in the plan.

Speaking of the Brazilians and the French!

The Brazilians knew each other before the island but very briefly (except for Pac, Mike and Cellbit) since they all made it into the same ship and ended up crashing on Quesadilla island (Felps is not a good navigator and Forever was too worried to actually steer the ship.)

As for the French, they were traveling to a Sky Island on a big ship and they ended up falling from the sky, they didn't particularly know each other before but they grew closer on the ship before the ship fell.

Now, I'm still thinking about some fruits and roles (backstory from the cubitos before the island) but these are my general ideas, feel free to share your thoughts!

Some of my ideas are pretty self-explanatory but ask away if you have any doubts!

● Hispanics:

Luzu — tbh idk something about metals, maybe the smelt-smelt fruit? Maybe even a cyborg

Rubius — .... Wish-Wish fruit?? He grants wishes or something

Mariana — Whisper-Whisper Fruit (Taking into account his rp on tortillaland and integrating it into the qsmp, he should be able to talk to animals. I don't think the animals talk back tho)

Spreen — Bear-bear Fruit Model Black Bear

Missa — Bird-Bird Fruit Model Raven / Revive-Revive Fruit (Debating over this, specially because it would be funny if both Missa and Philza share similar DF, but also skeleton Missa is fun)

Roier — Spider-Spider Fruit Model Latrodectus Hesperus (black widow)

Vegetta — Scroll-Scroll Fruit (He's the wise man of the mountain, I'm sure he uses his knowledge to make powerful scrolls)

Maximus — Clank-Clank Fruit / Magnet-Magnet Fruit (Tbh I want something relating to Max's abilities with machines)

Quackity — String-String Fruit (freaky, the man who pulls the strings)

● English:

Wilbur — Tone-Tone Fruit / Song-Song Fruit (For this one I think going with Uta's power is better, Wilbur is extremely powerful but he is also a whimsical British guy who sings beautiful songs for his daughter to have a good night of sleep)

Fit — Pop-Pop Fruit

Philza — Bird-Bird Fruit Model Crow (Love-Love fruit if I'm feeling a little crazy, he turns Forever into stone sll the time)

Jaiden — Bird-Bird Fruit Model Parrot / Brush-Brush Fruit (As much as I love parrot jaiden, I think she being able to draw bobby after his death but stopping herself from bringing the art to life is extremely angsty and I love it)

Bad — Hollow-Hollow Fruit

Foolish — Shark Fish man. Swim Swim Fruit (I know, he can't swim so he now has a fruit that lets him swim everywhere? Yeah, but also a logia fruit that could help him build fits as well)

Dan — ? (Sorry)

Slime — Jello-Jello Fruit (Following the food themed devil fruits from the Big Mom Pirates, he turns into Jello... Lime flavor, he is sticky, sugary and a little sour, both Mariana and Juana are intrigued)

● Brazilians:

Cellbit — Archeologist and Archivist, former captain of a crew (as much as I would love to give Cellbit a DF, I think it would be charming if he could save Roier from falling into the sea all the time, as well as Felps)

Felps — Calm-Calm Fruit (He makes silent bubbles for Richarlyson everytime he gets overwhelmed, best dad)

Forever — Navigator (Pirate, former marine, he loves travelling and lost his right hand man on the way)

Pac and Mike— Shipwrights (Do not separate. They make the craziest ships on the world. Also criminals with bounties but not necessarily pirates)

● French:

Baguera — Mink Duck (she's a duck, she went to explore the world and oh well)

Etoiles — Woods-Woods Fruit / Arms-Arms Fruit (This one is complicated, he is a cucumber (?) So I thought a extremely powerful fruit like the Woods-Woods one its him, but he is also very dangerous and into weapons, so the other one also fits him? He is a bounty hunter)

Antoine — Stich-Stich fruit (He stiches dirt together, doesn't really use his power but he starts doing it after Pomme gets interested (he makes her clothes!!!))

Kameto — Normal ninja lmao (literally just a ninja, just a guy, he is terrifying)

Pierre — Inventor (Both Marines and Pirates buy his inventions, money is everything)

As for the eggs, I believe they follow the same logic as the seraphims. They were artificially made using human DNA and thats why they are both inteligent and fragile. They are replaceable and the Federation can make more if they find a quicker and cheaper way.

Oh and Cucurucho, I think it would be extremely fucked up if it has the Shadow-Shadow fruit. Imagine Cucurucho taking Cellbit's shadow, creepy.

#qsmp #one piece #feel free to ignore this i just wanted to share and have some fun #in trying to be more self-indulgent and have fun #also crossovers make me insane #fran.txt #op x qsmp

[ashtrayfloors]

excerpts from “Beyond blood brothers: queer Bruce Springsteen” by Rosalie Zdzienicka Fanshel

This supposedly comprehensive narrative paints rock as an inevitably masculine, naturally heterosexual art form, no questions asked.

The History of Rock ‘N’ Roll’s narrow telling of rock’s story marginalises an important legacy of queer voices and...the queer voice of an artist touted as the poster child of masculine heterosexuality in rock ‘n’ roll for nearly four decades. Far from exclusively glorifying heterosexuality and embodying an uncritical, uncomplicated form of popular masculinity...Bruce Springsteen’s...music and performance returns again and again to themes of deep love between men, love that frequently occupies the liminal space between brother and lover, a romantic ‘darkness on the edge of town.’

Springsteen uses neutrality in second-person address as one of his most common rhetorical tools, singing to numerous darlings and babies of undefined gender. Furthermore...he relies heavily on ‘nam[ing] his beloveds in a most ambiguous fashion’ so that we hear of Rickys, Sandys, Bobbys, Terrys, Frankies, and practically an entire host of Angels.

‘To whom are Springsteen’s poetically professed passions directed anyway? What gender are all those beloveds who he christens so indeterminately?’

The ‘Backstreets’ lyrics are strictly gender neutral. Beyond the scope of pronouns, however, I argue in favor of reading the song as the story of betrayal between male lovers based on the overall content of the lyrics. Springsteen takes up iconic ‘masculine’ themes in this song that he explores in many others.

It is the overtly male landscape of ‘Backstreets’ that leads many to interpret the narrator and Terry as two male friends. But just what is the nature of this friendship? What makes their lives together so forbidden that they must hide on the backstreets? Lines like ‘Sleeping in that old abandoned beach house’ and ‘With a love so hard and filled with defeat’ suggest a romantic liminality in the characters’ relationship. The language is quite emotionally charged for a strictly platonic friendship.

Regardless of any particular listener’s own gendering of ‘Backstreet’s’ Terry, the fact that Springsteen himself has refused to definitively say one way or the other is in itself a queering of the character.

Springsteen...essentially links a photo of himself gazing lovingly at his male friend with the romantic feeling of such lyrics as ‘Laying here in the dark you are like an angel on my chest / Just another tramp of hearts crying tears of faithlessness.’

Among Springsteen’s new influences was Walt Whitman...Springsteen mirrored the significance of homosociality and homoeroticism inherent in Whitman’s vision. Whitman spoke extensively in terms both spiritual and sexual about his feelings for his fellow ‘brothers,’ which he distilled into the concept of ‘adhesive love.’

Throughout the epic poetry collection Leaves of Grass, written between the 1850s and 1890s, Whitman interweaves his views of the United States with his love for its men. Many Springsteen songs read like Whitmanian portraits of the American moral landscape, not a few sharing Whitman’s erotic language to describe his feelings for his brothers.

Springsteen’s lyrical use of the term ‘brother,’ for example, as often as not has direct - or at least highly suggestive - eroticism attached to it. ... ‘This Hard Land’ describes a romantic bond forget between two men as the idyllic escape from the dreariness of contemporary America.

The protagonists express their love freely and naturally in the open air with a soul kiss...based on what Whitman would call ‘a love more precious than money.’ ...they recommit themselves to disseminating this love along the open road.

When people think back on their closest friends...those friendships always go hand in hand with the music and all the strong feelings that the music brought, feelings which were even stronger if you shared them with somebody.

For Springsteen, the feelings for a close male friend could, at least under the influence of rock ‘n’ roll, grow intense enough to include kissing as you rode off into the sunset.

...the performances that culminate in Bruce and Clarence’s passionate kiss are those of songs about the fantasy of escaping together... Springsteen’s slide across the stage to meet Clemons’s waiting lips is a climactic corporeal embodiment of the lyrics he sings. But with the subversion of gender from the abstract woman of the storyline to Clemons’s very real person, is Springsteen not so subtly indicating just whose ‘velvet rims’ he wants to wrap his legs around, who he really wants to climb into his car as he ‘pulls out of here to win?’

Stevie is positively fruity: from his theatrical facial expressions to the flamboyant clothes and the steadfast frilly do-rag he adopted in the early 1980s, Van Zandt reminds us of the carnivalesque origins of Springsteen’s music. Both his appearance and role in singing duets with Springsteen arguably brought a feminine element to E Street long before Patti Scialfa joined the band.

At a time when glam rock and disco spectacularly highlighted the performative nature of gender and worked to disrupt the gender and sexual binaries of male/female, gay/straight, the press turned to Springsteen as a saviour of rock’s values of hegemonic masculinity. (Ironically, the content of Springsteen’s music indicated a far more serious exploration of queer desire than that of many of the most flamboyant cross-dressers. Hubbs points out that the ‘“gender bender” poses’ of many rock stars contrast with ‘their shrill claims of heterosexuality and “real” manhood, [and thus show] a willingness to cash in on the style of gender transgression while disclaiming associations with any deeper substance.’ One would never look at the Rolling Stones, for example, and say that those five men were expressing love for one another, even as Mick Jagger used transvestism as an ongoing performative act.)

Springsteen’s hypermasculinity appears to be as much a performance as glam rock’s gender ambiguity. Before Springsteen’s self-conscious buffing of both his physical body and musical voice into an American working-class hero, his appearance was a cross between greaser, surfer and hippie... The result was a skinny, unkempt, and rather pretty kind of rebellion.

...viewed through a queer lens, Springsteen’s later hypermasculine image also looks awfully gay.

The imagery of the...album cover is available also for a different reading in which the codes of gay subcultural identification can be surreptitiously recuperated here: certainly, the hanky (of gay ‘hanky codes’) has been replaced by a cap, and yet the fixation on the back pocket and the perfectly curved male arse would seem to suggest that the potentiality of a queer reading has not been fully eschewed.

Springsteen precludes definitive determination of sexual preference, mooting a fundamental constraint whereby our culture knows us and names us. Such mooting matters not just because inquiring minds want to know, but because undermining this constraint calls into question conventional representations of love and traditional musical constructions of desire.

Bruce Springsteen’s sexual and gender ambiguity is not only a challenge, it is an invitation... ‘The best records (the ones that give us the most pleasure) are the ones that allow an ambiguity of response, letting us be both the subject and object of the singers’ needs (regardless of their our our gender).’

For Springsteen’s LGBT audience...his queer music is pure pleasure. While one may hope for the day that Springsteen will play ‘My Lover Man’ onstage, the songs with liminal romantic desires no less indicate that our musical hero is a sexual ‘tramp like us.’ As Nadine Hubbs writes, ‘Ambiguity is not particularly confusing to queer subjects to whom its utility and indeed necessity are intimately known.’

#quotations #rosalie zdzienicka fanshel #bruce springsteen #music criticism #queerness #queer themes #queer masculinities #gender #homoeroticism #clarence clemons #steven van zandt #walt whitman #i am obsessed with this article #obsessed with it #i was having backstreets feelings #and did a weird web search #and stumbled upon this #these are some of my favorite excerpts #but honestly just go read the whole thing #it’s SO GOOD