#some style adjustments will need to happen though I’m afraid… or I forgot again how sketching works which would be very tragic

[omaano]

If you're still taking those polyam sketch prompts...D2 for Cody/Obi-Wan/Rex?

Obi-Wan deserves a pair of handsome space heaters for the cold Tatooine nights :3 nap piles for everyone! Thanks for asking (and for adjusting the requested pose so that I can keep drawing different poses)❤️

Polyamorous/platonic poses for sketching

#can I just point out that this is the same size as all the other sketches for these poses? #I was forced to face the limit of how far my lining brush could be scaled down lol #wanderingjedihistorian #answers #my art #poly sketches #partial nudity #codexwan #that’s the ship name right? #or at least I assume that was the intent behind the ask? #clone shipping #if you squint at the ask at least #cuddle piles for everyone! #also what’s the point of being the same-ish size if you cannot steal each other’s clothes to sleep in? #these were wayyy too many limbs I needed to navigate #but my favourite thing will forever be to add freckles and beauty marks and body hair drawing out stubble one line at a time is good for me #I’m still working on these so #some style adjustments will need to happen though I’m afraid… or I forgot again how sketching works which would be very tragic

[deejadabbles]

Heres some post-canon-Atem-stays-AU headcanons bc I will forever be in denial that the ending of ygo ever happened.

First off can we all address the fact that Atem would have an accent!?! He knows Japanese bc of Yugi but once he has his own body back, his muscles and brain are used to different speech patterns, therefore we get an accent! The first time the gang hears him talk and this (adorable) accent they're floored but love it, it kinda helps further cement that he really is his own person apart from Yugi (not that the gang really needs that but still).

I think this would also lead to Yugi asking Atem to teach him some Ancient Egyptian. He says it just because he's interested but really he wants Atem to feel slightly less alone now that literally no one else speaks his language.

Also. Contrary to what some (*cough*Kaiba*cough*) think, Atem knows how to work modern tech. Like, come on he shared Yugi's body for years, he knows how to work a phone and computer. Now, he may be a bit of an old man and prefer not to use some modern things, but he's competent at least.

(okay okay but can we entertain the idea of Atem making "back in my day" jokes bc he thinks it's funny and Honda n Jonouchi take to calling him "old man" and it's just a big running joke between everyone?? that'd be great.)

Another misconception I think Atem would prove wrong is that he actually doesn't have all too much trouble adjusting to being a "commoner" and having to live a normal, rather un-luxurious, life. Again, he spent years watching Yugi interact with the world and live in it as someone who wasn't royalty, or even rich, and did that with no context of his previous life.

So yeah when Atem returns to earth with his own body he doesn't like...expect to have everything provided for him, or be waited on hand and foot like some ppl expected since he was royalty. Sure, he may not actively think "oh, I have to get a job in order to live now" on his own (mostly bc I think he's just still amazed he's alive at all, a lot of things don't come to mind), but when the subject comes up Atem isn't astonished or taken aback by the idea or anything weird, logically he knows he has to provide for himself now and knows at least the basics of how to accomplish that in modern times.

Okay but seriously can we all take a minute imagining Atem getting a fast food or clerk job to get by until he figures out what he wants to do next. Jou and Honda thought he'd be too prideful to "stoop that low" as ppl say, but Atem's fine with it. If dishing out fries to shitty customers or ringing up cigarettes at a gas station ensures that grandpa and Yugi don't have to carry him through life he's fine with it.

That being said, I can see Atem just being...forgetful that he has to take care of himself sometimes. He's not ignorant of the modern world, but he also has his memories back now, so I can see him laying in bed for a good 10 min before he finally remembers "oh yeah servants aren't coming to dress me, okay lets do this". And sure he knows the basics of life from his time with Yugi, like cooking and doing laundry for himself. But there's times where he just runs out of clean clothes bc he forgot to do laundry, things like that, but hey that's stuff even us non-ex-royals do as Adults so that's okay.

My point is that Atem adjusts to the modern world and not being royalty really well. He's just a forgetful dork sometimes.

Okay but going back to my "Atem gets an entry-level job" headcanon. Now I'm thinking about Kaiba finding out that Atem got a fast-food job instead of coming to him for work. Next thing Atem knows Kaiba storms in (probably cutting the line because of course he would) and starts this melodramatic speech about how no one has the right to employ the rival of Seto Kaiba besides SETO KAIBA himself.

Atem, who was already chewed out by a customer for getting the wrong sized drink, is having NONE of this and is completely ignoring him, trying to serve the next customer in line. When all Atem will say to him is "sir if you wont buy anything please leave" the petty giraffe known as Kaiba slams a pile of bills on the counter ....this then leads to Atem matching his pettiness! You know that tiktok, it's basically that. Atem takes the entire stack of bills, looks Kaiba dead in the eye, and tells him to get his own chicken nuggets.

Next thing we know Atem's managers are trying to pry them apart because Kaiba hopped the counter. There are nuggets and fries everywhere, someone threw a large coke, the customers are filming. It's a big mess.

OMG imagine the headline "Local billionaire has melt down at McDonald's"

Okay, moving on from that, sorry I just had to get that outta my head.

Once again I'm going to drive home my "touch starved Atem" headcanon by saying that Atem actually likes not being royalty in his 2nd life because Yugi and his friends aren't afraid to show him affection. This boy craves touch so much and is loving the fact that no one thinks it's offensive to hug him. Atem's the type that once he's comfortable with someone, expect hugs for every hello and goodbye. He's also known for putting his hands on shoulders and sometimes playing with hair (only if the other is comfortable with it of course!).

The hair-playing thing is because he has these precious memories of brushing and styling Mana's hair when they were younger (and once or twice being able to beg Mahad to join their hairstyling sessions). Now he loves doing it because he equates it with affection and unconditional friendship. He especially loves playing with Ryou's hair since it's so long and soft, and even bought Ryou these tarot card themed hairpieces just so he could style his hair with them.

After experimenting with alcohol a bit, Atem finds that he likes some wine cooler-type drinks but sometimes he'll crave a beer, since that was the drink of choice in ancient egypt. He weirds ppl out though because he prefers them warm, cold beer is too harsh on his sensitive teeth and he's just not used to it. Also, it took a long time to find a beer brand he likes because most aren't up to the quality he had "back in his day" lol.

At first Atem only knows how to cook basic things (again, what Yugi knows) but he soon realizes that he enjoys cooking. He gets a Pinterest account just so he can save recipes he wants to try (he starts saving other things though, he likes aesthetic boards and interior design!). The whole gang ends up loving this because he cooks meals for them sometimes and they're so good! While they're still in high school he makes Bentos for everyone about once a week and it's the highlight of their week <3

He does get a bit sad though, when he tries to recreate meals from his culture and they just don't taste quite right.

oKaY I WAS going to go on about what career I think Atem would eventually pursue, but they got really long and this is already long so I'm going to put them in their own post. All I'll say right now is: college student Atem and later, professor Atem.

That's all for now, expect more in the future though because I will never not support Atem stays AUs <3

#atem #yami yugi #atem headcanons #atem stays au #I'm just really bitter about the ending and i'll never be okay with it #ygo #also I'm just obsessed with the idea of atem working a fast food or retail job and not taking any ones shit #yami yugi headcanons

[mendesblurb]

Show me your phone

GIF CREDITS TO OWNER AND MAKER @dreamofwonder

Shawn Mendes x female reader

Warning: fluff, maybe grammar error and maybe some punctuation errors

Oh My God!  You thought to yourself. This was the day. Its finally here. The day you and your husband had been waiting for a while now. It was finally here.

Your nerves were absolutely racking and your heart was beating fast. the test showed you 2 lines. YOU WERE PREGNANT.

You looked at the pregnancy test again and the other two that sat on the vanity, all positive. Now it was time to tell Shawn the news.

“We’re going to have a what?” Shawn asked, his face turning up toward you. 

He was sitting on the bed with his back against the headboard, having some much needed relaxing time after being in the recording studio all day.

You’d discovered you were pregnant this morning after he’d left for work and decided to keep the news until he was home.

For the time being you kept your news a secret from the media, afraid of the possibility of things happening on the first trimester. So you started going out in baggy clothes so the paparazzi will not know and throwback photos became a thing in your Instagram feed.

However, you knew that sooner or later it would be discovered, it didn’t worry you too much, but you wanted to feel comfortable first with the idea of having a growing human inside your belly and also because Shawn and you are a pretty private couple.

————————-FOUR MONTHS LATER————

Tonight , Shawn was going to be interviewed on Jimmy Fallon’s late night show because of the recent release of his album “wonder.”

It was a routine that before one of you came on, the other would send a text message of encouragement and an occasional “I love you ” were sent along with it.

You: enjoy the talk show with Jimmy 😙

Shawn: thanks baby, love you 😘

You: love you too ❤️

Shawn: see you at home ❤️

You: send image

This time you decide to send a pic of you and Tarzan at the living room couch and the pic also displayed your growing bump.

You: see you at home Shawnie❤️, lots of love from me, Tarzan and little Mendes

As the crew began counting down the seconds before going live Jimmy sat down slowly and Shawn adjusted his jacket as he got comfortable in the chair.

“Now Shawn…” Jimmy started, leaning on his desk casually. “quite a bit has happened since the last time I saw you.”

He nodded slightly, a ghost of a smile on his lips, “Yeah it’s been a while dude.”

Jimmy laughed partially, “that’s right… the last time you were here you were single, and now you’re married.”

Shawn nodded as Jimmy continued, “now Wonder just came out a few weeks ago and it was a huge hit..”

Shawn smiled, “yup it did alright.”

The rest of the interview was great, Shawn talked about the highs and lows he experienced when creating the album and how all his songs were about you and how grateful he was to have you by his side through it all.

That night both Shawn and Jimmy were going to play ‘Show me your phone’, a game where they had to show whatever was hidden on their smart phones.

As the game was about to start, Shawn realised he wasn’t prepared at all. At this point he knew your secret is about to be exposed, I mean your whole relationship was not a secret but it was mostly private.

Both of you seem to have a habit of dropping the bombshell to your fans. Like that one time you finally made your relationship social media official, another time you secretly got married and now you’re secretly 4 months pregnant.

Now sitting across from Jimmy, Shawn could feel his heart pounding , and his hand began to feel clammy.

In front of them there was a red button, in the centre a tripod that will act as a phone holder and next to it was an electronic panel showing all the possibilities that could come up.

There was the icon for messages, Safari, photos , Instagram, Twitter, mail and call.

“Okay, you ready?” Jimmy asked and Shawn just nodded his head.

“Okay, for anyone who don’t know, here’s how game works. Shawn and I will take turns pressing the red button we have here, which will randomly select one of these icons we have on the board.”

After He explained how the game works , then he opted for Shawn to go first as he was the guest.

Laughter was heard among the audience as they saw the nervous glances that was displayed in both Shawn’s and Jimmy’s faces.

“FYI, neither of us know what’s behind each icon.” Jimmy looks at Shawn who was now laughing. “Let’s go and explore our phone.” Jimmy said

“Let the adventure begin,” Shawn said while trying to hide his face. “I think I forgot to clean my phone before the game.”

“You and me both dude,” Jimmy said laughing along with him. “Alright, here we go. Since you’re the guest you press first.”

“I am honoured ,” Shawn said sarcastically , which drew another laughter from the audience. “Here goes nothing!”

Shawn pressed the red button and quickly the icons on the panel began to light up and the light stopped specifically on the Safari browser icon, so that a text was displayed that said 'Show and tell us your last Google search’.

“Shawn if you could please show us your last Google search my friend.” Jimmy said while trying to control his laughter.

“Okay!” exclaimed Shawn grabbing his phone and heading to the app. “If I’m being honest I forgot what my last search was… Oh never mind!”

Shawn started laughing and tried to hide his phone, which only caused the audience to laugh hilariously.

"Okay, fine,” Shawn said as he put the phone down on the small platform. “I was just trying to do a kind gesture.”

The camera pointed straight at him, checking that his last search had been ‘nearest grocery store with Oat milk’.

The set erupted in laughter, Jimmy clasped his hands to his chest, laughing his head off.

“This- This is actually funny because it’s so specific but it’s actually very thoughtful,” he said between guffaws. “Did you end up buying it though?”

“I did!” Shawn said. “I found two brands and you know I was just trying to buy it because Y/N being a good wife she is wants me to start living a healthier lifestyle.”

“Awww,” Jimmy said . “Come on! Here we go. My turn.”

The panel came back on, the light moving between icons until it stopped on the photo app. Jimmy frowned, and the panel informed him that it should show the last picture he took on his phone.

“Come on, show us!” exclaimed Shawn encouragingly.

“I’m extremely scared,” said Jimmy with a serious and comical look on his face, reaching for his phone. “I am deeply embarrassed … Oh!” he began to laugh. “Okay, okay. This… is me trying to be a good Dad, don’t judge me.”

The picture showed Jimmy trying to pose with a random Snapchat filter and the caption was ‘Goodnight Frances & Winnie’ . In response the audience started laughing.

“All right, all right,” Jimmy held up his hands. “I have an explanation . The other day my wife said my kids won’t go to bed until I said goodnight to them and I was still on set.”

“That’s actually cool man!” exclaimed Shawn.

“Anything to put your kids to bed,” he laughed and picked up his phone.

“Show us your last text message” Jimmy read out eliciting cheers from the audience. “Come on!”

“Okay,” he began to laugh nervously. “It says there the last message I sent, in details too?”

“Well, just put the phone down,” Jimmy laughed.

“Okay,” Shawn started to look up. “Last text message…” he took a breath and looked at Jimmy hesitantly.“Oh here we go…”

Your last conversation appeared before everyone’s eyes, showing only the last photo you had sent him with Tarzan and your growing bump was present and the caption was the true bombshell of all.

“Wait, wait back up Mendes,” Jimmy said looking at him and questioning “little Mendes? Is this why she’s taking a break?”

The audience exclaimed a sweet 'aw’ again when they got a glimpse of the photo and Shawn was just widely smiling.

“This is really sweet!” said Jimmy looking at Shawn, “This is the best news ever.”

“I know, I know,” Shawn commented and nodding his head slowly.

“Do you know the gender?” asked Jimmy hesitantly, to which Shawn took another breath before replying.

“Yes we do,” Shawn laughed nervously. “We are going to have a baby girl.”

 “There you have it, folks! The show is about exposing secrets! Thank you for watching, let’s all patiently wait for the arrival of baby Mendes.”

Shawn was seen hugging Jimmy as the camera flickered off, the curtains closing - concealing them from the screaming audience.

Taglist: @holland-styles @itsalwaysbeen305 @nervousmendes

TAGLIST & REQUESTS ARE OPEN

#shawn mendes fic #shawn mendes fluff #shawn mendes blurb #shawn mendes fanfic #shawn mendes fandom #shawn mendes smut #shawn mendes x reader #shawn mendes story #shawn mendes #shawn mendes imagine #shawn mendes x y/n #Shawn mendes fic #shawn mendes one shot #shawn peter raul mendes #Shawn mendes blurb #Shawn mendes fanfic

[hsbeloved]

night drive

hihi! just a short little (y/n) friends to lovers thing (minus the lovers part. sorry, no smut this time) kinda hate how this one ended, felt a little rushed to me but in my defense i wrote this at like 3am in about 40 minutes. messages with input are always appreciated! <3

warnings: none

word count: 3.1k 

I had been mindlessly bingeing some new netflix show when I'd felt my phone vibrate on the bed next to me. I was almost tempted to ignore it. Scared it was my best friend with yet another invite to some trashy party her new boyfriend was throwing at his frat house. I had never once accepted and yet that never stopped her from trying to get me to join her. I knew deep down she was just trying to be a good friend. I almost felt bad. Almost.

When it turned from incessant thumping to a high pitched tone indicating an incoming call, I decided it had to be important. No one ever called me unless it was. When I picked it up from beside me, I squinted at the screen that was slightly blurry from my eyes not yet adjusting to the brightness. Instead of trying to read the name, I blindly swiped to answer.

"Hello?" I croaked out, my voice cracking a little from not using it for a while.

"'Hey y/n! Whas'up? Too busy sleeping to text me back, huh?"

Gasping a little, I sat up a bit straighter. Goosebumps immediately etched themselves upon every inch of my skin. It was Harry.

"Uh hey Har. No, not sleeping. Just busy doing uh-" I searched my eyes around my room looking for an excuse that wasn't me being a loser and watching tv by myself on a friday night. "Cleaning. I was cleaning. Everything okay?" I rushed out.

He was silent for a moment before I heard a slight chuckle. "You? Cleaning? Thas' funny, love. Can't remember ever seein' yah tidy up anything before"

I couldn't help but giggle a little at this. He was right, of course. I hated cleaning and he knew that. "Hey! I clean. I'm a very cleanly person, okay?"

"Alrigh' alrigh', calm down. Was jus' teasin'. Was actually callin' to see if yah wanted to come for a drive with me. Need to clear my head a bit and could use some company" I couldn't be sure, but he sounded dejected.

"Har. Is everything okay?" I was barely talking above a whisper. Nervous that if I spoke too loud he wouldn't express how he was feeling to me.

I heard a sigh and then some rustling in the background, like he was moving around on his bed. "Jus' had a pretty rough argument with Rachel. Kinda need a friend to hang with to get my mind off of it. Plus I jus' miss yah. Haven't seen yah in forever, bubs."

I couldn't help but perk up at the nickname despite the sourness I felt at him mentioning his girlfriend. It wasn't like I wasn't happy for him. Rachel seemed like she was a nice enough girl. She just so happened to be dating the person i've been secretly and ridiculously in love with since I met him a year ago at university.

"Sorry to hear that, Harry. Do you wanna talk about it?" I wanted to be a good friend and offer my advice if I could, but mostly I just wanted to hear him talk more. His voice was a sickly sweet song that my heart almost always craved to hear.

"Nah, really jus' wanna pick yah up and head somewhere for a while. That okay?" I could hear him already getting up from wherever he was sitting and gathering his things. The tell tale clink of his car keys a reminder that I needed to get dressed and at least a little presentable.

Picking at a loose string on the hem of my worn out t-shirt, I sighed and replied a little slowly. "Yeah, 'course it's okay. Just text me when you're here. Drive safe, alright?"

He let out a soft chuckle before breathing out a short reply of "Always do." and hanging up.

When all I heard was silence on the other end, I threw my phone to the side and got up to head to the mirror hanging across from my bed. Examining myself, I figured I didn't want to try too hard or he'd know something was up. I threw a black knit sweater over my shoulders and replaced my sweatpants with a pair of leggings, tugging my hair back into a loose ponytail on top of my head.

After another fifteen minutes filled with me brushing my teeth and washing my face, I felt my phone go off in the pocket of my sweater. I pulled it out and saw that Harry had messaged to let me know he was in my driveway. Grabbing my purse, I headed toward the door to give myself one last look in the mirror before opening it and locking it behind me.

When I turned to see him sitting in his idling car, my breath caught in my throat and my heart skipped a literal beat. Like, an actual hitch in my heartbeat. The light from his phone flashing across his dazzling eyes in the darkness of his car made him look angelic. There was a small crease in his brow and his lips were slightly downturned, and yet he was still magnetic. It never got easier to look at him.

As soon as I reached for the door handle of the passenger seat, I heard a click and the sounds of laughter from inside. My hand reacted before my mind could catch on and when I attempted to pull the door open, I was met with resistance. Of course he had locked it.

"C'mon Har, not funny. Open up." My plea went unanswered, though. His smirk the only acknowledgment I received.

I put on my best pleading face, pouting with my bottom lip jutted out above my top and my eyebrows scrunching together in playful sadness.

"Pleeeeeease open the door, Harry?" I clasped my hands together in front of me and gave him the biggest doe eyes I could muster before I heard another click.

Taking the opportunity before he could change his mind, I yanked the door open a little too harshly and threw myself into the seat with a grin.

"Knew you couldn't say no to me. You never can." I muttered before placing my bag by my feet and strapping myself into the car.

When I looked up at him across from me, he was staring at me with a strange look I'd never seen on his face before. It looked like he was deep in thought but also like he was in pain. I wasn't sure what to say so I just slapped my hands down against my thighs and let out a deep sigh before speaking.

"So! Where to, Mr. Styles?"

Still looking at me, he shook his head in confusion as if he forgot where he was. Once he collected himself, he plugged his phone into the aux, handing it to me with a nod to pick some music.

"Figured we could jus' see where the night takes us, love. Hang out for a while. That still alrigh' with yah?"

He seemed almost nervous when he spoke, which was an unrecognizable emotion on him. He was always so sure of himself. He carried himself with confidence and a bit of cockiness to be honest, but not in an overwhelming way. He was just aware of himself and his affect on others. All I could do was stare at the side of his face that now was looking out at the road ahead of him. His jaw was clenched and his grip on the wheel looked like it could break it if he really tried hard enough.

"Of course that's okay, Har. Why wouldn't it be?" I questioned.

He exhaled a breath before letting one of his arms bend and fold onto the center console to rest between us, his hand dangling slightly off of the edge.

He turned to look at me and then quickly whipped his eyes back toward the road before muttering out "Jus' didn't wanna waste your friday night s'all. Know you could be doing somethin' a little bit more fun, ya know?"

I was quick to shake my head and grab at his free hand, bringing it onto my lap to hold in-between my own.

"Where is this coming from, Harry? You know I don't care what we do. I just like spending time with you."

He looked down at where our hands were joined, my fingers absentmindedly twisting one of his rings while I stared at the perplexed expression gracing his beautiful features. He's never acted like this with me. Every time we hang out, it's filled with his newly acquired joke of the day and an eventual headache from how hard he makes me laugh. Tonight though, he was so closed off. It was starting to worry me.

Just as he's about to speak, he suddenly freezes and breathes out a laugh so small I think I imagine it.

He brings his hand that's still connected with mine up toward the screen on his dash and points to the song that had just started playing, before letting it fall back into my lap.

"This song was playin' the first time we met, ya know." He looks over at me expectantly. I look at the screen and then back at his face, a smile gracing my lips.

"There's no way you remember the song that was playing, Harry." I reply dryly with a laugh of my own before continuing my assault on his ring. I loved playing with them, and he knew it. He would act like it bothered him. Tried to feign offense at how cold my hands always were against his intensely feverish skin, but we both knew he enjoyed it as much as I did.

He scoffed. A look of annoyance dancing around his emerald eyes as he took his hand from mine to point a finger at me.

"I absolutely do! Got a mind like a whip, I'll 'ave you know." He swiveled his head back toward the windshield, putting his hand back on the wheel. "I remember everything when it comes to you, love" He uttered in a hushed tone. Like he was afraid of even saying the words.

My mouth hung open the smallest bit before I could stop it. Sure, Harry was affectionate with me. A little more than was friendly sometimes, but never so outwardly sweet with his words. He was more of a cuddle and hug type of friend. Even an occasional kiss on the forehead if I was lucky and he was tired enough.

I reached out to him and grabbed his hand once again, rubbing my thumb in circles against his heated skin.

I wanted to tell him I loved him. Wanted nothing more than to grab his face and kiss him, let him know just how much I adored him. But I was scared and he was in a relationship. So all I could muster the confidence to say was "That's really sweet, Har."

He sighed and gave me a lopsided grin while muttering out "Yup, tha's me. Sweet ol' Harry."

I could tell he wanted to say something else by the tone of his voice, but didn't want to push it. Instead deciding to point out all of the constellations I knew by heart out of the window.

Harry did his best to follow along and listen intently, but with his eyes needing to focus on driving, he was more so just nodding along to make me happy.

In the middle of my explanation about how older stars start to turn red as they run out of hydrogen to burn, I notice the car slowing down to a stop against a patch of grass on the side of the road.

"Wait why are we stopping? Everything okay?" I question with concern laced in my voice.

Harry puts the car in park, unbuckles himself, and immediately turns his whole body to face mine. His hand is still enclosed in my own, so he takes it back and places it against his thigh before running his other through his already messy hair.

Sighing deeply, he lifts his eyes to mine and opens his mouth to speak but doesn't actually say anything.

"Harry, you're kind of scaring me. Please tell me what's wrong. You can talk to me" I start to reach my hand out to stroke his arm but he holds up his own to stop me and I physically feel my heart stop for a second.

"Did I- did I do something?" My voice comes out so small I don't even recognize it.

He scoffs for the second time since I got into the car. The hand on his thigh joining his other in the mess of curls on top of his head, pulling at the roots before dropping them into his lap and staring at me once more.

"'Course not, bubs. I did."

"I don't. I don't understand. I-" Is all I'm able to get past my lips before he's rushing out words so fast it's hard to keep up.

"I broke up with Rachel. Well, she technically broke up with me. Said somethin' 'bout how she can't be with someone who isn't able to commit." He was getting flushed from how upset he was. I could see it even in the dark. A splotchy patch of red was making it's way up his neck and I wanted to reach out and hug him. Comfort him. But he wasn't finished, so I sat on my hands to control myself and let him talk.

"Thought it was a load'a bullshit at first but she said somethin' that really stuck with me, and I can't seem to stop thinkin' 'bout it." He narrowed his eyes and took a deep breath before continuing.

"Need yah to help me figure somethin' out. Promise I won't be mad if yah don't wanna. Just need'a try. Jus' once." He was whispering. His usual boisterous and lively energy was nowhere to be found. He was looking at me with such a serious expression on his face that it made me shrink back a little and avert my gaze to the side of the dashboard to compose myself.

When I chanced a glance back toward him, his face was so close it made me gasp and jump back.

"What are-"

I couldn't even finish my sentence. He was inching closer and closer, my breathing getting more shallow with every second that ticked by.

"Tell me to stop. Push me away if yah don' wanna do this. I won't be mad, bubs. I promise." His angelic voice was so quiet I had to will my heart to stop beating so violently against my ears so that I could hear him properly.

I exhaled the breath I was holding, but couldn't find it in myself to move. I'd thought of this moment every single day for a year, and it was finally happening. I wanted this more than anything, the anticipation was making my chest ache in such an intense way that all I could think to say back was "No."

Harry stilled immediately. His face scrunched up in hurt as he started to move himself back into his seat. Before he could get too far, I yanked a hand out from under myself and used it to pull him back toward me by his chin.

When I saw the confused expression on his face, I realized what I had said and tried to explain the best that I could with my brain suddenly a pile of goo from inhaling his musky scent just seconds before.

"I meant. No. I don't want you to stop. I just-" I sighed heavily and shook my head while closing my eyes briefly to control my fluttering eyelashes.

Opening them, I was met with his own that were now wet with substantial emotion, making the green of them so vibrant it made me lose my breath for a second.

"I want-" another sigh. "I want you to kiss me."

He audibly gulped, his adams apple bobbing up and down as he stared at my lips. "Yah sure?" he probed with a glance up at my eyes.

"I'm sure, Harry." My head was now the one leaning toward his own. The hand that was placed on his chin moving to the back of his head to pull him in closer. My eyes closing once again as I felt his top lip brush against my bottom one so softly it almost felt like I imagined it.

Just the smallest touch from him and I was already buzzing. My stomach tied up in knots and the butterflies in my ribcage fluttering like crazy. My blood was boiling. I felt cold and way too hot all at once.

I heard his light gasp before I felt his plush lips press against mine with a little more pressure and confidence. He slowly slid his hand onto my cheek, taking his time to explore this new sensation. I kiss him back lazily, reveling in the softness of him. We exchange a few more pert kisses before it suddenly becomes more heated, the atmosphere shifting from tentative and cautious to more concrete in its intensity.

He grips onto my shoulder for purchase, bringing me even closer to his chest. He kisses me harshly, each kiss he breaks is released with a soft, smacking sound that grows sharper each time. I move my hands to fist the soft material of his shirt behind his back, my brow creasing in pleasure while I sigh into his mouth. He swallows every noise I make, groaning out a few of his own before a breathy whimper escapes my mouth as his tongue slides along my bottom lip.

When he hears the noise this time, he breaks apart from me and moves his forehead onto my shoulder, our collective breathing heavy and loud in the quiet of the car. My lips tingle, already missing the fullness of his against them.

"Wasn't expectin' tha'." He pants into the skin of my neck, gently holding onto my arms. "Guess Rachel was right after all."

"About what?" I ask, trying and failing to catch my breath.

He lifts his head slightly away from my body to look into my eyes as he softly says "I really am in love with my best friend."

At his confession, my breath gets caught in my throat and my lungs shrivel up. My eyes suddenly get weepy and I'm unable to stop the stray tear that falls onto my cheek. Harry takes his thumb and swipes it away before asking me what's wrong with gentle eyes.

"Just never thought you'd feel the same way." I whisper.

He gasps, smiling so bright and large that his dimples become a deep pool inside of his cheeks. "C'mere" he wheezes out before crashing his lips back against mine. His teeth clash against mine a bit from how much he's grinning, but it doesn't matter. It's still without a doubt the best kiss I've ever had.

#harry styles #harry styles imagine #harry styles one shot #harry styles fic #harry #styles #harry styles fic rec #hs #fanfic #hs fic #writing

[loveislattes]

Patience Is Key (Darkiplier/Fem!Reader) Chapter 1

Commission prompt:  Reader only knows that sex is pain, so Dark shows her otherwise...?

Caution! This story does contain mentions of past borderline-abusive relationship and there is one scene that slightly delves into the situation, but it never goes further than pushing and forced kissing.

This chapter is SFW other than some cursing. The next chapter will be the oh so lovely smutty bit. ^^ Chapter 2 will be out next week! 

“Ah, damn it!” 

The curse left my lips the second I finally registered that I had dropped the extremely large box of pots and pans on my toe, and not on the flat floor as intended. Jerking back, I fell into the rickety wooden chair behind me and pulled my injured foot up into my lap with a wince.

“Why am I such a fucking klutz?!” I wheezed through the pulses of pain. 

It took a few minutes of babying my poor toe but eventually, I managed to soothe away the pain and get back onto my feet. Why was it that toe injuries always felt so much worse than other injuries? As I debated that question, as well as the existential existence of pain at all, I got moving about the sparse kitchen once more. The boxes weren’t going to empty themselves after all and I only had the two days until I started my new job to get it all done. 

“Lord knows if I had to take one more extra day off, it’d be the end of the world,” I muttered under my breath.

Working retail had to be one of the worst career choices in the world. Sadly, it was all I could find for the time being and this new house mortgage, low as it was, wouldn’t pay itself; Not to mention that my savings were meager at best and wouldn’t last long if I had to rely on them, thanks to my problematic ex. 

This house was a blessing in disguise and I definitely couldn’t afford to lose it. A beautiful victorian-style two-story home at only four hundred fifty a month, with no real damage other than cosmetic updates needed? Yeah. It was practically impossible. My first thought was that it had a sordid past, whether drug crime or murder related, but that didn’t seem to be the case thankfully. The owners had inherited it and we’re willing to sell it for a steal just to get rid of it so they didn’t have to pay taxes and insurance. Their loss, my gain, apparently. 

I had gotten so lost in my thoughts about work and the house that I was done moving the last of the boxes before too long. Score one for daydreaming! 

I set about organizing my cabinets next, emptying the boxes one by one until they were all barren and tossed to the back of the room.

“That’s a problem for future-me,” I muttered, running a hand through my hair with a huff, “I guess dinner is next on the list. Never a better time to find out what take out they have around here!”

I meandered into the living room and plopped down on the worn couch, pulling my laptop into my lap. While waiting for the screen to wake up, I grabbed the TV remote from the coffee table and turned it on as well, needing the background noise with how silent the old home was. I’d definitely have to keep an eye on that or else I’d find myself creeped out even without anything happening. A random cartoon filled the large screen and jaunty music spilled from the speakers as the characters conversed. Shrugging, I tossed the remote back down on the table and returned to my laptop.

After logging in, a quick google search led me to a page full of restaurants both familiar and new to me. Moving to a big city definitely had its perks! 

“Now the question is which one,” I sighed. 

It took a few minutes of debating but I finally settled on ordering from a highly rated Chinese restaurant across town. I was promised my food in about twenty-five minutes and a delivery tracker popped up on the screen right after.

“That’s nifty!”

Setting the laptop back onto the table with the dimmed screen facing my direction, I let myself be pulled into the ridiculous antics of the cartoon characters on TV until a commercial came on. My eyes instinctively drifted over to the laptop to check on the tracker. The red line was about halfway across, indicating they would be leaving the store soon. Nice! Unfortunately, I also caught my reflection on the screen and couldn’t help but take a moment to fix my hair out of reflex. As I adjusted my top to look less wrinkled, I suddenly noticed a black shape in the background, near what would be the corner of the room behind the couch. I froze, heart pounding in my throat as my eyes widened.

“No way,” I whispered. 

Leaning in closer, I focused on the shadow. Too afraid to actually turn around and look, I hoped I could debunk it from this angle alone. I was just about convinced it was actually a part of the LCD going out in that one spot- when suddenly it moved!

“FUCK!”

An uncontrollable screech left my lips as I leaped up from the couch. Spinning to face the shadow, I reflexively snagged up the throw pillow on the couch and tossed it full force in that direction while trying to move away. Unfortunately, I forgot exactly where I was standing in the new layout and the fact that the table was behind me. I was reminded painfully of that fact as my calf muscle slammed hard into the solid wood and I went careening backward. I frantically tried to catch myself but only succeeded in slamming my elbow into the edge of the table and whacking my fingers against the floor in a way that made me see stars.  

Tears pricked behind my eyelids as I hissed through the urge to cry. I was about to lie in a puddle of agonizing defeat until I remembered the whole reason I fell. With a curse, I rolled over to my hands and knees, panting as I looked toward the offending part of the room. There was nothing there. No shadow and no reason I should have ever seen one there; no coat rack, no bookshelf, nothing. Just a bare wall. 

“What the hell was that?!” I groaned.

Now that there was no impending, visible, threat, I spent a good few minutes taking all my injuries into account. Sore calf, elbow, and fingers. Bruises were likely in each spot, unfortunately. Thankfully it didn’t get any worse than that. With my luck, I was surprised I didn’t crack my head open on the floor instead. It was with a heavy, defeated sigh, that I succumbed to the need to lay flat on the floor and catch my breath. 

“I’m losing it. That has to be it. All the stress of the move and being alone just got to me,” I assured myself quietly. 

I wasn’t sure how long I wallowed there in self-pity, but it couldn’t have been as long as it felt because I was soon roused by the sound of someone knocking at the door.

“Foooood!” 

Collecting my fallen pride and battle wounds, I scrambled up off the floor and rushed to the front door, snagging my wallet from my purse on the way. The delivery driver was nice enough and we made small talk as we exchanged food and money. I thanked him after he mentioned their loyalty program then shut the door before hesitantly making my way back into the living room. As I scanned the rather empty space, I was relieved to find it just as it was before; no shadows in sight. 

“I’m probably gonna have nightmares from that shit too,” I muttered, plopping onto the couch and popping open the box.

With a little shake of my head to clear my thoughts, I returned to the show and let the thoughts from the day slowly melt away with every mouth full of delicious food. 

…

It took two months of living in the new house to finally feel more at home. Most everything was put away and decorations filled the walls, warming up the once empty and creepy place. I no longer felt like an uncomfortably unwelcome stranger. The thought of that shadow did, unfortunately, still linger in the back of my mind every night though. I’d be fine all day until it was nighttime and dark in the house. Once the sun was down, it was like my gorgeous home was a totally different place. I didn’t see that moving shadow anymore, but I swore I saw things out of the corner of my eye and it constantly felt like I wasn’t alone. 

One particularly rough night left me searching the entire house for hidden cameras and trapped doors because I could have sworn I was being watched. Of course, I found nothing of the sort, but it didn’t lessen the fear by much. I even started making myself go to bed earlier than usual just to avoid being alone with my paranoid thoughts. Something had to give before I went crazy! 

I was even to the point of considering making new friends; Something to break up the monotony and constant feeling of being alone. Maybe inviting another person into the house would make the eerie feeling go away? One could hope! I wasn’t in the habit of bringing home people, due to my ex, but it was getting to the point where it might be necessary. A person could only take so much alone time!

A rapid knocking on my door tore me out of my lonely thoughts and back to reality with a jolt.

“Who could that be?” I muttered under my breath.

I hadn’t ordered any food and I was pretty sure I hadn’t ordered anything off Amazon recently. Uncurling from my nest of blankets, I hastened to the front door when the visitor knocked again. Impatient buggers weren’t they?

“I’m coming!”

Without thinking to check the peephole first, I pulled the door open and instantly recognized the horrible mistake I had made. I tried slamming the door shut before he could enter but already I was too weak with fear; simply seeing his menacing face leaving me powerless. He was easily able to catch the wood and shove his way in as if I weren’t even there. 

“Heeeey baby.”

I wasn’t even given a breath’s moment to respond. Instantly his hands were on my shoulders and I was slammed into the wall. Pain exploded through my skull and my knees weakened dangerously as I struggled through frustration and fear. 

“You thought ya could just move away and I wouldn’t find ya, baby? Ya outta know better’n that.”

The familiar sensation of bile rose in my throat when his lips smacked against mine. It took all of my resolves to hold it down. It would only add insult to my injury because he wouldn't give a damn and I’d be left worse for wear.

“Aw, come on. Play nice with me, won’t cha? It’s been far too long since I’ve seen ya.”

All I could manage was a timid shake of my head.

Fuck, it was like this any time he was around! Just being in his presence made the littlest of movements hard, like my body just instinctively gave up to avoid more trouble even though my heart told me to fight. If I could fight back, he’d probably back off after a while but I just couldn’t. Flashes of the times he tried to force himself on me, drunk and belligerent, held me back from it. Giving in was just easier, safer, in the long run.

I felt the numbing sensation of acceptance slide through my muscles when his mouth pressed on mine again. Disgust and hatred bubbled in my gut; not only for him but also for myself. So weak, pathetic.

Out of nowhere, the deafening sound of doors slamming rang through the air, causing us both to jump apart. With a Yelp, I clapped my hands over my ears to block out the painful noise as I looked around in shock for the source. To my utter disbelief, I found the cause to my cabinet doors, opening and shutting at breakneck speed. It only lasted for about half a minute before suddenly they stopped, just as abruptly as they had started. My astonishment was cut short by a cry from across the room. 

Having abandoned his pursuit, my ex now stood frozen near the door, ashen white and shaking. Upon closer inspection, I thought I could see a faint shadow around his throat but my line of vision was disrupted when he turned and rocketed out the door. Once the entryway was clear, the door shut calmly behind him. 

It was deadly quiet in the aftermath of whatever the hell happened. The sounds of my heavy breath were the only noises in the air. Scared, but thankful, I hesitantly surveyed the kitchen and the living room for any sign of what had caused the disruption. There was nothing, of course. Not even a hint of the shadow I had spotted months ago. 

Letting out a nervous sigh, I ran a hand through my hair and said, “Thank you… whoever you are."

I didn’t wait for a response before high tailing it to my room and diving under my fluffy comforter, torn between calling my mom or crying until I fell asleep. My body made the decision for me before I could contemplate it for long, shutting down and passing out quicker than anticipated. 

When I woke, it was dark in the room. The radio clock beside my bed read an irritating one thirty am. Despite having slept for six hours, I felt like I hadn’t slept a wink; nightmares resounding in my head like sirens the entire time. 

Rather than trying to force myself back to sleep, I slipped out of the bed, determined to get some hot tea or cocoa to help soothe my inner demons. Unfortunately, I spotted my reflection in my vanity mirror on the way by and I felt compelled to stop. My usually glowing skin looked pallor and lifeless and the bags under my eyes gave the same sentiment.

“Fucking hell,” I muttered, pulling at my bedhead locks in frustration, “I’m not gonna recover from this.”

My outside reflection was only a sliver of the mess that was inside my mind though. And I knew I would get over it in the long run but it always felt so impossible at the start. I just had to turn the sadness into anger. My thoughts were derailed by the sudden feeling of eyes on my back; That familiar itching sensation of being watched sending shivers down my spine. I didn’t see anything in the room around me but when I finally turned back to the mirror I spotted it; an eerily familiar shadow. It was only moments before there was a man suddenly standing behind me in the reflection. 

Although my mouth moved, trying to scream or make any sort of sound, nothing would come out. Scads of questions bombarded my already frazzled sense of sanity as I tried to scream until eventually a worrying sense of calm washed over me in place of the stilted panic.

“I’m not going to hurt you,” he assured me as if reading my mind.

The low timbre of his voice made the rational part of my brain melt but the way it reverberated around the room sent my hairs standing on end. My body instinctively went stiff and still as his arms reached around my sides. Cool fingers rested on my forearms and slowly rubbed the goosebumps away in a soothing manner while he stepped closer. I could hardly meet his eyes in the reflection without feeling as if I were staring a predator head-on.

“How did you get in here?” I finally managed to ask. 

An absolutely devastatingly handsome smirk curled up his lips before he flashed large, sharp, pearly whites down at me. 

Oooh fuck, those were some pointy fangs. 

“I’ve been here the entire time, darling. You’re the one who barged in rather abruptly when you decided to move in.”

I began to question my sanity once more as his form slowly lost color and brightness in the mirror, becoming a barely distinguishable shadow behind me. Though his touch on my skin never diminished, to the eye he was nearly invisible. Just as gradually, he filtered back into view. 

His reasoning was lost to me as I tried to figure out just what was going on until eventually, it clicked.

“You’re the mother fucking shadow that has been driving me insane, aren’t you?!” I shouted, jerking out of his reach and spinning to face him, “Just how in the hell did you do that? Why have you been scaring me? What-”

His hand came up swiftly and I froze immediately, only able to watch as he cupped my jaw. A whimper reflexively slipped out as his thumb pressed against my lips. 

“To answer your questions in order: Yes, I am. Shifting is just one of my many abilities. I have not meant to scare you, well, not these last few weeks anyhow. I’ve become- let’s call it- fascinated. Most would have left by now and yet here you stand, heels dug in like a stubborn mule. You’re intriguing.”

The moment he released his hold, I found myself asking, “What are you?”

“What do you think I am?” he retorted, stepping back and slipping his hands into his pockets.

I simply shrugged. How should I know? Before now, I didn’t believe in anything supernatural, but now I was questioning that stance.  

“A demon? A ghost?” I replied.

He hummed momentarily before cocking his head to the side, eyes narrowing as they burned into mine. 

“Does that scare you?”

So many freaking questions! I scrubbed a hand over my face wearily before slapping my palms against my thighs and mentally admitting defeat.

“Unless you’re going to kill me, no. You were terrifying in that shadow form but now that I’ve seen you face to face, I’m not so scared. Don’t get me wrong, I have a healthy respect for you but it’s also comforting to see that you’re not some decayed-looking ghost who is going to warp my face by looking me in the eyes,” I hesitated as another realization hit me hard then carefully added, “Not to mention, I’m pretty sure you’re what saved my ass earlier… right?”

There was a flurry of emotions across his face as his brows knitted together before he seemed to relax some and amusement showed at last. 

“You are just full of surprises, aren’t you?”

I shrugged in response before finally slipping past him to sit on the bed, the shakiness of my legs becoming too much to bear. I could put on a brave face but my body could give way any second. I had been through too much in the last twenty-four hours. Once seated and more comfortable, I met his gaze again. 

“Am I right? Were you the one that scared him away?”

He hummed and tilted his head once in a positive indication before adding, “Luckily for him, he’s as cowardly and self-concerned as most of you humans. Had that not have worked, I would have been forced to take further measures.”

The way his echo deepened and his fangs flashed in an animalistic snarl sent more goosebumps up my arms and neck. Fucking hell. My emotions were having a hard time keeping up through it all; enamored by his good looks, terrified by his powerful aura, curious about his existence. He was, simply put, overwhelming. 

If it wasn’t for his discoloration, echoing voice, and the fangs, he’d seem like any ordinary human. A very attractive human at that… I had to stop that train of thought right there! I’d be just like me and my horrible taste in men to get a crush on the ghost- demon- thing.

“So, um, you said you were here before me. Are you stuck here, like a ghost or something?” I managed to ask while rubbing my goosebumps away. 

“No. This is merely a residence of convenience. Your closet holds a portal to my realm and it’s the simplest way in and out for me. I choose to stay here when I must remain in the human world for any amount of time. You’re the first person to live here in decades.”

I thought my heart was going to jump out of my chest in bewilderment when he suddenly moved towards the bed at an inhuman speed. A reflexive flinch had me jerking away when he reached out for me but he was quicker, hand snagging my chin to keep my gaze solely on him.

“Your turn to answer a question for me,” he stated without giving any room for argument, “Who was that man from before, and what is his concern with you?”

Eyeing him warily, I chewed on my lip then answered honestly, “My ex. I wouldn’t say he’s necessarily concerned about me. More so he’s concerned about losing his control over me. He was borderline obsessive and abusive.”

“Do you foresee him being a problem in the future?”

That was a hell of a question. Would he be back? I didn’t even really consider that after how fast he’d run away before but it was always a possibility.

“I honestly don’t know. I guess I should invest in some ADT or something, huh?” I half-assed joked, forcing on a weak smile.

The flat line of his lips told me that he didn’t find my statement as funny as I did. However he did, at last, relinquish his hold on me. 

“I will not stand for a brain dead ape damaging my property. If he comes back, he will be taken care of once and for all.”

Some little devious part of my mind dared to question if he was actually talking about the house, or if he was subtly making a claim over me. The domineering air around him made it seem like a slight possibility. I felt the heat flare over my cheeks before I could stop it and quickly wrapped my arms around my chest defensively before sinking back further onto the bed.

As if a private moment were suddenly disrupted, he cleared his throat loudly and stepped back while adjusting his suit jacket.

“I need to be going. It was nice to officially meet you. If it sits well with you, I will be more prominent around the house since I no longer need to avoid you.”

I nodded and awkwardly replied, “Yeah, er, that’s fine. I mean, it’s more your home than mine anyway, right?”

He made a noise of agreement then turned toward the closet, but stopped with his hand on the doorknob. There was an indescribable expression on his face when he turned back; the whites of his eyes darker than before. 

A smirk that could only be read as cruel crossed his lips and he said, “You may call me Dark. If he comes back when I’m not here, simply ask for me and I’ll be here.”

#darkiplier x reader #darkiplier fanfiction #two part post #angst #fluff #smut

[gyll-yee-haw]

Motivation

Jake Gyllenhaal smut

Hiii! Look at what I accidently wrote!

Requested by annon: the reader is trying to work, but Jake keeps distracting her.

Warnings: here we go... Dirty talk, oral (male receiving), spanking, daddy kink. It's the traditional Maria fanfic.

Like 1.8k words.

---

You hated bringing work home, but if you had to stay in the office until you finished all you had to do, you'd have to stay there forever.

You were sitting on the sofa, focused on your laptop, while Jake watched tv from the other side of the sofa, because he promised he would let you work in peace. And he really did. For the first one and a half hour.

"Are you hungry?" He said, moving closer to you.

"Not really." You said without taking your eyes off the screen.

"But shouldn't you take a break?" He insisted.

"Jake."

"Yeah?" He casually rested his hand on your thigh.

"I really have to finish this today, okay?" You sighed.

"I don't like to see you this stressed." He leaned down to give your face a few kisses. Then he moved on to your neck.

"Then why are you stressing me more?" You tried to be strong.

He stopped everything and straightened himself on the sofa.

"Do you know what's funny, Y/N?" He said in a serious tone. "When I'm busy, you don't care that much, do you? You get on your knees begging me to fuck you like a little whore. You undress in front of me. You unzip my pants without my permission… And I always give you what you want. Maybe things will change from now on."

He was right, you didn't always allowed him to work. But you knew what he was doing and you couldn't give in. You tried to focus again, but those words on the screen didn't even make sense to you anymore.

"You know what I'm gonna do next time?" He continued. "I'm gonna tie you to the bed until I'm done. Put a gag in your mouth so I don't have to hear your filthy voice calling for daddy. Would you like that? Oh, I know you don't like to wait. And neither do I."

Okay, there was no way you could resist him talking like that.

"Then fuck me. I won't make you wait anymore." You said, closing your laptop.

"Do you think you deserve to be fucked now?" He chuckled. "Just because you're afraid I will treat you the way you treat me?"

You placed your laptop aside and got on your knees in front of him.

"I'm sorry, daddy." You said. "You're my priority, always."

"Am I a fucking joke to you?" He leaned closer and grabbed your face hard, speaking in your ear. "Do you think I'm not being serious?"

"No…" You melted under his grip. "I'm serious, daddy. Please, use me, take what you need."

He smirked and let go of your face.

"Alright, princess." He said, starting to unzip his pants. "Are you going to be a good girl now? Show daddy that you're sorry and that it won't happen again?"

You nodded eagerly as you saw him holding his hard cock and stroking it a few times. He didn't have to say anything. You automatically moved closer to him and opened your mouth widely.

"Aren't you a well trained little girl?" He smiled and sat on the edge on the sofa, placing his dick inside your mouth, and you closed your lips around it. "I did a very good job here."

You shut your eyes and started to take him deeper and deeper, until you gagged.

"Easy, babygirl." He began to stroke your hair. "Take your time, we both know how much you love to have my cock in your mouth, but don't be so eager."

Your eyes met and you started to suck him slowly, moaning just like you knew he loved. As time passed, his hand wasn't there just to stroke your hair, he started to command your rythm and how deep you were going.

Soon, you had to hold on to him thighs and shut your eyes again as he fucked your mouth extremely fast, moaning like crazy as he did.

He came deep in your throat and quickly removed himself from your mouth, making you cough and now his cum was all over your chin.

"It's okay, honey." He collected the cum on your face and you sucked it off his fingers. "You did such a good job, I'm very, very happy now."

"Thank you, daddy." You remained on your knees, waiting for what he was going to do next.

He put his dick back in his underwear and zipped up his pants again. You watched him patiently.

"You can go back to work now." He sat back and looked at the tv, ignoring your presence.

"But…"

"No, it's fine." He didn't bother looking at you. "Go back to work, I know you need to finish it."

"Now I don't want to." You said firmly.

"Take off your clothes." He said dryly.

You stood up and started stripping, but he wouldn't look at you. After you were completely naked, you approached him, but he gestured you to stop, finally taking a look at your whole body.

"Such a beautiful girl." He smiled. "Now you're going to sit down beside me and finish your-"

"I said I don't want to." You interrupted him, watching his smile disappear.

"You don't want to?" He raised his eyebrows at you. "Have you lost your mind?"

"Yes." He tried to hold back your laughter.

"I already said this once, Y/N." He stood up, towering you. "I'm not a fucking joke. And I don't like to repeat myself. Go to the back of the couch and bend over."

"Daddy…"

"Y/N, I swear to God…" He took a deep breath. "You're not doing anything I tell you to. I must have been too nice lately and you forgot what happens when you act like that."

You walked to the back of the couch and bent down, keeping your eyes glued to his.

"And don't you dare moving." He said before leaving the room.

Oh, you wouldn't. You had to rub your thighs together in antecipation, feeling your heart about to explode. Maybe you really had forgotten how fun it was to disrespect him.

He came back with something in his hands. When you saw it was a belt, you almost came right there. But you had to pretend you weren't loving that, even though he knew you were.

He stood behind you and grabbed your butt, stroking it with his thumb.

"Before I punish you, darling, I have to make sure you know why I'm doing this." He said. "I hate to be obliged mark your pretty skin, but you leave me no choice. I've never seen such a little brat in my entire life. I know you're better than this. I know you can be a good girl when you want to. But why wouldn't you want to be a good girl all the time? When I'm such a good daddy for you."

He barely finished that phrase and you felt a sharp pain in your butt. He hit you with the belt.

"Isn't that right, baby?" He said.

"Yes." You replied. "You're such a great daddy for me."

He hit you again.

"God, why are you moaning so much? You love this, don't you?" He hit you another time.

"I deserved it."

He was about to hit you again, but after he heard that, he stopped and placed the belt on the sofa, right beside your head. He gently touched your lower back, gesturing for you to straight up yourself. After that, he turned you around and brought you close for a hug.

"You see?" He said, holding you lovingly. The feeling of being naked and being held by him fully clothed was amazing. "Only takes a good spanking to bring my good girl back. You won't be a brat anymore, will you?"

"No, daddy. I'll be a good girl."

At least for tonight, you thought. But wasn't worth saying it, you knew how to behave in order to get what you wanted.

"Great." He separated the two of you. "So now I can fuck you. If you want me to."

"Yes, please."

"Bend over."

You got back to your previous position. So did he, standing behind you, but this time, he had his pants down and his extremely hard cock pressed against your entrace.

He put it all in at once. You two loved that feeling. But after that, he had to hold himself back until you adjusted to his size, so he thrusted slowly, squeezing your sore butt right where he marked you, sending shivers down your spine.

When you started to move your hips, trying to fuck yourself on his cock, he understood you needed more. And he would always give his princess what she needed.

He fucked you hard, deep, fast. His moans filling the room, you loved when he was that loud, and at that moment he was losing his mind inside you. He lifted one of your legs off the floor and sneaked his hand under it, starting to rub your clit as hard as he was fucking you.

You came saying all the swear words you knew. Still, he didn't stop. Your clit was painfully sensitive and he kept rubbing it until you came one more time before he did too.

"Fuck." He whispered as he removed himself from you.

You got up and turned to face him. He was zipping his pants, then opened his arms for you to get into them. You gave him an exhausted look and he realized you couldn't stand there for too long, so he approached and picked you up bridal style, carrying you to the sofa and sitting down with you on his lap.

"You're so amazing." He said, kissing your head. "I love you so much."

"Daddy, can I ask you something?" You dared to say.

"Anything, babygirl." He raised his eyebrows curiously.

"I wish you would take off your clothes too." You said in an innocent tone. "All of them."

"And why is that?"

"Because I want to see you, you're so fucking hot." You smiled.

"I believe you have some work to do." He laughed.

"But we can cuddle naked while I do it." You shrugged.

"Since when does 'just cuddle' works for us?"

"You said I could ask anything." You frowned like a kid.

"But I didn't say I would do what you ask." He collected your clothes and handed them to you. "Now get dressed and finish your work. If do your best like a good girl, I'll take my clothes off for you, deal?"

"I guess that's the motivation I needed./

#jake gyllenhaal x reader #jake gyllenhaal #jake gyllenhaal smut #jake gyllenhaal imagine #jake gyllenhaal x you #jake gyllenhaal fanfic #jake gyllenhaal fanfiction #jake gyllenhaal one shot

[heyyyharry]

Chapter 3: Ruby

(from the My Girl Trilogy: Be My Only)

…in which Harry wants to be good enough, and Y/N is confused.

AU: actor!Harry, older!Harry, younger!Y/N, (4-year age gap).

Word count: 5.5k

Wattpad link

Chapter 2: Castles In The Air - Y/N can’t stop worrying about Harry, but she isn’t the only one.

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The next morning, Y/N showed up at work like nothing was wrong. With a smile plastered on her face, she busied herself by doing all the tasks in the bookstore, including the ones assigned to Alice. She thought if she didn't have time to sit down and rest, she wouldn't think about yesterday, but once in a while, she still got tempted and ended up checking her messages. All she'd received were those annoying phone ads, nothing from her boyfriend, not even a breakup text. She had to prepare herself for the worst.

While lost in thoughts, Y/N heard her boss calling out her name and hopped off the stool to go see what he needed. The man was sitting behind the reception counter, hunching down so his face was nearly in contact with the page as if his thick glasses couldn't do their job. He was writing something and immediately looked up when Y/N said his name.

"Here you are," said Eddie as he pushed his glasses upward as it kept sliding down the bridge of his nose. "Last week you asked me for five days off from the 24th to the 28th, right?"

Y/N furrowed her brows, looking quite confused as the man squinted his gray eyes at her. "You said your best friends were getting married?"

"Right! Yeah, they are...they are getting married!" She chuckled nervously, making that truthful answer sound like one of those excuses she'd used to get away with being lazy. Her two high school best friends, Celine and Amala, were getting married in three weeks in Holmes Chapel. They'd always talked about how they had wanted to say "I do" right by the lake where they'd had their first date. And Y/N had even volunteered to be their maid of honor. She wanted to blame the recent drama for distracting her, but there was no justifiable excuse for being a shit friend.

Eddie closed the notebook as he put down the pen, his lips formed a hard line. "Unfortunately, I won't be here that week and Alice cannot be alone in the store."

"No!" Y/N gripped the edge of the counter, shaking her head so fast it might fall off. "That's my best friends' wedding, Ed! I'm their maid of honor!"

"I'm sorry, Y/N. There's nothing I can do."

"Come on, sweet Eddie! You know I cannot miss the wedding!" The girl pleaded, her hands clasped together as she rested her elbows on the counter, blinking her eyes at him.

Eddie gulped and out of habit adjusted his glasses again. He appeared more like a teenage boy than a thirty-year-old man. It wasn't just his ageless face; it was also the fact that he still lived with his parents and had never kissed a girl. Y/N found out from his mother, who often brought him lunch and embarrassed him as any mother would, as if it wasn't already obvious. No matter how hard Eddie tried to act cool, he still got nervous around Y/N and Alice, which was why they constantly took advantage of his naivety to get what they wanted. This time, however, he stuck to his decision.

"No means no, Y/N." Eddie shook his head, unfazed by how fast her smile dropped. "You've been here for 225 days, and today is the first day you've actually worked. You're lucky I'm still paying you."

"I...worked when you weren't here."

"Nice try, but the answer's still no."

Just like that, he got to his feet and walked back inside. Y/N intended to follow, not wanting to give up so easily, but as soon as she took a step forward, the little bell above the entrance got her full attention. She turned quickly, opening her mouth to say hello only to freeze when she saw who it was.

"I'm here for the pretty girl named Y/N," Harry said with a warm smile that made her stomach go fuzzy. She was speechless for a moment before finally snapping out of it as he came closer.

"The pretty girl named Y/N isn't here. This one is all you've got." She pressed her lips into a grin as color heightened on her sweet oval face.

"This one is enough," Harry replied calmly, leaving Y/N once again tongue-tied, and confused. Since they met again in Holmes Chapel, he'd been acting weird and she'd been wondering a lot. Was it because he still had feelings for her, or was there something else she did not know? It would not make any difference to know the truth now she was with Isaac. Still, she couldn't help but think about it over and over again. And if Isaac was right, that Harry was still in love with Ruby, what was the point of him looking at her this way?

"Uhm...I'm here to return your jacket." Handing it back to her, he pressed his lips into a small grin to ease the awkward tension between them.

"How do you know I work here?" She asked with caution, watching him put the jeans jacket on the countertop.

"I asked Niall." Of course, Y/N thought to herself, taking a deep breath. For a second she had hoped he'd talked to Isaac, but that idea seemed so far-fetched for now Isaac didn't even talk to her.

Biting her lip, she pointed to his injured knee. "Thought you weren't allowed to leave your house."

"I'm not." He chuckled slightly, giving her a shrug. "But I got bored."

Thea rolled her eyes at the playful answer she had expected. With a smile, she thanked him for returning her jacket, but then said, "I really like to chat, but as you can see, I'm on my shift."

"Oh." He gave her half a smile, shaking his head. "Can you give me five minutes? I wanna show you something."

Yes, she could give him five minutes. She had given him many years of her life, so five more minutes wouldn't make a big difference. But what if they did? What if those five minutes drove them down the same dead-end road again? The hug they had shared in the hospital lasted no longer than five minutes, and it had brought them so much trouble with their significant others. So even though that sounded like a simple yes-no question, but to Y/N, it certainly wasn't simple.

Her thought process was cut short by Alice's deafening scream which nearly broke all windows in this place. Eddie had to drop whatever he was doing at the back to see for himself what was happening here. And his reaction when seeing Harry, though not as dramatic as Alice's, was somewhat similar.

"H-Harry Styles!" The man laughed loudly, admiration lit up his face as he threw his hands in the air. "Harry Styles is in my bookstore, everyone!"

Needless to say, Y/N was shocked. It was only then that she remembered Harry wasn't just Harry. He was also that award-winning actor whose face was everywhere on billboards and magazines. She had known him her whole life thus she sometimes forgot how big and famous he'd become. She might have to get used to this at some point.

"Hi! How can we help you, sir?" Alice said as she pushed Y/N aside with her hip to catch Harry's attention. Eddie was even more competitive. He grabbed Alice's elbow, pulling her back to take her place and speak loudly. "Nice to meet you, Mr. Styles! I'm the store owner and whatever you're looking for we—"

"I'm here for Y/N actually," Harry interrupted the man, pointing to his Bambi, and the smiles on Alice's and Eddie's face had never fallen so fast. They looked at each other, then at Y/N, then at each other again. It didn't take too long for them to figure it out.

"Wait, Harry Styles is...your friend?" Y/N could only nod, watching Alice's massive blue eyes grow even bigger as she turned back to Harry. "Y/N is like a sister to me so can I please take a photo with you?!"

"Me too!" Eddie jumped right in, raising his hand. "I...I want a photo too...please?"

It was no surprise that Alice was crazy for Harry, most of the girls her age were. What Y/N could never have guessed was Eddie being obsessed with Harry too. He seemed like one of those hardcore sci-fi nerds, not someone who would go insane for an actor in romantic movies. But she could judge him later, now was a good opportunity to ask for that one-week off.

"Ed." She tapped the man on the shoulder but he brushed her hand right off. So she tried again by raising her voice. "Ed, hey, about my request—"

"Take as many days off as you want," said Eddie as he pushed her out of the way to pose for a selfie with his favorite actor. He seemed so excited, making her wish she could film this and make fun of him later.

As soon as he finished, Alice jumped right in and didn't hesitate to ask for a kiss on the cheek. She said she wanted to make her Instagram followers jealous, and so Harry laughed and asked which cheek she wanted him to kiss.

"Okay, that's enough. Harry must go now," Y/N spoke once they had taken the photo. She managed to free Harry from Alice and pushed him towards the entrance, but he refused to leave and insisted on showing her something first. She couldn't have guessed what it was, yet she knew they could never talk when the other two were here. So while Alice and Eddie were busy sending those photos to everyone, Y/N took Harry to the furthest aisle from the entrance. Now they could have their conversation in peace.

It was so quiet here that even the sound of them breathing became loud, and she was afraid he might hear how hard her heart was thumping. But Harry was just as nervous, his ragged breathing gave himself away. It wasn't their fault that the aisle was so dark and narrow, they both stood with their backs against the shelves, but if either took a step forward, her forehead would touch his chest. That would be very awkward, she imagined.

"Five minutes," she whispered, crossing her arms while holding his stare. And when his dimples appeared, her heart melted fast like ice-cream on a hot summer day.

Y/N remembered this feeling, vividly. In fact, she hadn't felt it with anyone else besides him, and it scared her because she didn't want to fall down that rabbit hole again. Tucking a loose strand behind her ear, she cleared her throat and gathered all the confidence she had left to smile back at him. "So, you were gonna show me something?"

"Oh, yeah...right." He chuckled, scratching the back of his head like a nervous teenage boy as he turned on his phone. Y/N always thought the gesture was endearing, and every time he did that, her heart swelled again. She took a small step closer to look at the screen, muttering a faint "sorry" when her arm slightly bumped against his. Though they had hugged twice, she hadn't noticed until now that he was wearing a different fragrance. She must stop herself from thinking about his new scent, and why she still remembered what he smelt like a year ago to compare.

"Gemma sent me these this morning," Harry said as he showed her the photos of his home in Holmes Chapel. They had finished repairing it, and now the place looked as good as new, perhaps even better. "Robin's youngest daughter is moving abroad, so he and my mum are selling his house and moving back into ours."

"That's great, Harry!"

"Yeah." He chuckled at her excited reaction. "Mum is so obsessed with the garden, I don't think she'll ever want to be away from it for too long."

"She and I both," Y/N said with a soft grin. "When I was little, your mother's garden was like Wonderland to me. I used to envy you for it."

The memories made Harry smile. "But you have Marcy now. I think she did a great job taking care of your house. The flower garden was beautiful before the storm."

"How do you know how it looked before the storm?" Y/N asked in a doubtful little voice and the man in front of her froze to the spot. He wasn't supposed to know about Marcy's flower garden since he had never seen it before. When he came back to Holmes Chapel, that garden had been destroyed, and it was impossible to tell how beautiful it used to be.

Now Harry's good-looking face was taut with angst. He shouldn't have been so careless. If she found out he'd seen the garden when he came back last year, for her, would she start acting distant towards him? He'd lost her as a lover already, he couldn't bear the thought of losing her as a friend too, not again.

While his mind was racing with thoughts, he blurted out the first thing he came up with, "your dad sent me some photos."

"When?"

"After the wedding."

Y/N said nothing else, but judging by that quizzical look, he knew his made-up reason didn't fool her. Harry hoped she would let this go, because if she asked Bradford and found out he was lying, he wouldn't know what to do.

Their private moment was, once again, intruded by Eddie and Alice, who seemed thrilled to know Harry was still here. Eddie immediately showed Harry the online article on his tablet. "You're doing another movie with Ruby Ellis?!" He asked, to the actor's surprise.

"Are you two back together?" Alice jumped right in, both hands clasped in front of her chest. Harry stole a quick glance at Y/N as he prayed she would believe him instead of them.

"We were never together," he said.

"But you should be! You two are the reason I'm bisexual."

"Alice!" Y/N cried out. As harmless as Alice's inappropriate joke sounded, it surely made Y/N and Harry uncomfortable. If only Harry could reassure her she was the only woman he loved. But how would he say those words and make them sincere, when in reality he was still sleeping with Ruby?

"There's more chemistry between you and Ruby than a science lab," Eddie added, seemingly proud of his own joke because Alice was laughing as well. Y/N, on the other hand, could only twitch her lips to show amusement which wasn't even there. Harry's eyes were fixed on her, yet she didn't spare him a single glance. It now began to dawn on him that all effort he exerted to prove that he'd changed, would all go to waste if he kept sneaking around with another woman. It was easy to believe in the obvious, and right now, to Y/N, the obvious was him loving Ruby, and not her.

"Isaac!" Alice shouted, causing Harry to turn his head to the end of the aisle. His brain stuttered for a moment and every part of him paused for his thoughts to catch up. Isaac looked him in the eyes, it wasn't the type of look someone would give their best friend. And Harry felt his limbs go numb for a second there.

"We just found out Y/N knows Harry Styles," Alice said happily, hugging Y/N's arm but the older girl didn't react. Her mind was racing a mile a minute and the big lump in her throat kept her from breaking this awkward silence. Harry already knew it was time for him to go.

"It's nice catching up with you, Y/N," he said and left so fast he forgot about goodbye.

Y/N didn't know which was worse, Isaac and Harry acting like two strangers, or Harry calling her Y/N instead of Bambi. Her limpid eyes stayed on the man she once loved until he was gone, and soon shifted back to the man she was supposed to love. Now that Eddie and Alice had followed Harry to the door, she was left alone with Isaac, surrounded by an overwhelming silence.

She had been expecting a call or a text from him since last night, but now he was here, she felt more afraid than relieved. All the things she had planned to say to him had vanished at once. Her face went pale, and she was picking at her arm as he approached.

"Can we talk?" He asked her.

There were two questions Y/N hated the most: this one, and "do you love me?" She hated to say them but she hated to hear them even more, yet now she was about to face one of them or both. Taking a deep breath, she gave Isaac a small nod, and they stood in the same positions she and Harry had earlier. But instead of ease and contentment, all she could feel now was anxiety and fear.

Looking down to avoid eye-contact, she noticed Isaac tapping his right foot rapidly. She could guess confronting her had really frayed his nerves. He stood with his hands on his hips, thinking for a moment. The tense atmosphere surrounding them didn't help them feel less trapped.

"I'm sorry about last night," he spoke at last. "I could've handled the situation better, but I...uhm...It wasn't right to raise my voice at you and say what I said..."

"You don't have to apologize," she cut him off but he raised both hands to stop her there.

"I do," he asserted, shaking his head fast. "But...I'm not only here to apologize. I think we really need to talk...about us, and Harry."

"Nothing happened between Harry and I. I swear," Y/N blurted. "You have to trust me. I would never do that to you."

"I know. But I wish you had," Isaac muttered, his voice was weak and hoarse. He could tell from the way her face scrunched up that she didn't get it, so he had to explain. "I wish you'd done something wrong, so it wouldn't be so hard to let you go."

"What...what do you mean?" Y/N gulped, her hands were shaking so much she had to hide them behind her back. She didn't want to believe this. She couldn't. "Are you...breaking up with me?"

Isaac's silence was already the answer. Y/N knew that look on his face, and she'd seen it once before when her first love came to tell her they would not work. She had never thought she would see it again, at least not on Isaac, the one person she was sure that would never leave her.

"You know I love you," he lowered his voice to a whisper. Sadness soon transformed her face as she reached out to hold his hand. "And I love you," she breathed. "You know I do."

"Not the same way that you love him, not as much. Never as much." That statement sent Y/N straight to silence. Her heart was pounding out of her chest as he looked into her eyes to make sure she heard every single word he said. "I know you want to believe we're good together and you should be with me. I've been telling myself the same thing, but a part of me always knew we'd been a lost cause from the start. And it's on me because I should've given up when you pushed me away. I should never have taken advantage of when you were most vulnerable to step in."

"No, please don't say that. You did nothing wrong..."

"Hey, hey, it's alright." Isaac held her pouting face as his lips curved into a small smile, but she knew he was far from happy to say these words. "It doesn't matter who's at fault. Maybe we both are..." He exhaled while stroking her cheeks with his thumbs. "But it's time for me to let you go. Not because I don't love you or that I'm angry at you. I love you, I do, and I know you love me too. But there's always gonna be him. And a relationship won't work if we're not each other's one and only."

"We were happy," Y/N blurted as she looked at him with lifeless eyes.

"Yes, we were." Isaac gave her a small nod, not breaking their eye contact. "But we won't be happy forever if we continue lying to ourselves. You believe you should be with me because it's easier than being with him. But let me tell you this, when something's easy, it doesn't always mean that it's also right."

With one last kiss on her forehead, Isaac walked away without saying goodbye. Maybe he was so quick to leave because he couldn't show her how hurt he truly was. But watching him go was definitely heartbreaking. And soon after he had left, Y/N collapsed onto the floor, hugging both knees as the color drained out of her face. There were so many inquiries spinning in circles around her head. What was happening? Was this reality? Was that an official break up? Had she lost Isaac forever? But most importantly, was everything he'd said correct?

In the pit of her despair, Y/N finally came to acceptance. The thing that scared her more than Isaac being right, was the fact that she would always love Harry most of all, even when she wasn't his one and only. And then came the biggest question for herself, what was she going to do about it?

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Bitch. Slut. Whore. Cheater. Liar.

Nothing that Ruby hadn't seen.

She logged out of Instagram, secretly cursing herself for even checking the comment section. She had worked in this industry for too long to believe she would get used to the hate. Still, she was glad nobody was blaming Harry for what had happened. Everyone assumed he and her ex-fiancé James were both victims of her 'evil scheme'. They could believe whatever they wanted, she couldn't care less, as long as it didn't affect Harry's reputation.

"Ms. Ellis?" 

The soft voice at Ruby's bedroom door caught her full attention. She rose from the bed and secured the strings of her pink silk robe before turning to her assistant. "So?" Her expression hardened fast. "What did they say, Liv?"

"Mr. Fischer was on the phone with him, and he refused to delete that tweet."

"He said so himself?"

"Yes, Mr. Fischer told me to tell you that—"

"Son of a bitch!" The actress cursed aloud as she quickly grabbed her phone to search for her ex's contact name. She held the device with one hand, shoving the other into her golden locks and asking her assistant to leave her alone.

"You shouldn't call him," Liv spoke, her voice trembled with concern. "Mr. Fischer said—"

"Mike is my manager, not my boss. I don't have to do everything he tells me to do," Ruby grumbled, her glare frightened the young girl, giving her no other choice but to hurry out of the room. Soon after the door had fallen shut, James picked up the phone. He barely finished half of the word "hello" when Ruby raised her voice with anger. "Delete that fucking tweet, asshole!" 

"That's not the way you speak to your ex-fiancé, love." His scornful laugh drove her up the walls, but she let it go and head straight to the point.

"You can go on the Internet and say whatever you want about me, play your victim card, I don't fucking care. But leave Harry out of this."

"You worry about that kid or your new movie with him? But judging from how your so-called fans react to the cast announcement, I think the movie will flop anyway."

"He's more a man than you are. Because only a kid would go on social media to spread lies and beg for people's sympathy," she spoke through gritted teeth. "I told you the truth, and you asked me to marry you anyway. But now you're telling the world you didn't know about me and Harry, that he convinced me to break off our engagement? I knew you were an asshole, but this is just pathetic...Maybe leaving you was the right thing after all."

James seemed unbothered by everything she had said. If anything, he sounded amused. "Don't be so mean, sweetheart. Without me, you would still be a nameless waitress and have men grope you for some extra cash." He chuckled lowly. "I built you up and I can cast you down easily. You should be thankful I don't intend to ruin your life for good."

Ruby shook her head as she released a wry laugh. "You insecure asshole, you've always been intimidated by me. All you've ever done from the start was putting me down and making sure I wouldn't outshine you. I can't believe I used to love you."

"Neither can I." His answer froze her to the spot. "Because, darling, I never loved you."

She tried to hold it in as she exhaled, yet her lips trembled and her eyes teared up. She thought she might lose it any minute now. That wasn't enough for James though, the asshole made sure he wrecked her completely as he went on. "You're just another talentless dumb blonde. Why would I be intimidated by you? Without that pretty face, you are nothing. You can't even act, the only movie scenes that people will remember you from, are the ones of you spreading your legs."

"You fucking cunt..." Her voice was full of breath as her eyes squeezed shut. "If you think I'm afraid of you, you're fucking wrong."

"Because you're afraid of everything, is that right? I don't blame you, sweetheart. It's not your fault that no man takes you seriously. No one will love you for real, Ruby. Not even that boy."

When James hung up, Ruby stood in that same position like a statue. She tried to steady her breath until her assistant burst into the room and told her James had deleted his tweet.

"Ms. Ellis?" Asked Liv as she saw the vacant look on her boss' face. The actress laid down her phone without saying a word and put on a smile as if nothing was wrong.

"Told ya I could deal with that son of a bitch," she said, laughing slightly.

She knew James was wrong, at least about one thing, she might not be the best actress, but she knew she was a good one. Her fake beam had fooled Liv into believing her happiness was genuine. But as the girl left, so did the smile on Ruby's pretty face. Sometimes she forgot not everywhere she went was a movie set, and now it felt terrifying to even be true to herself.

Thinking for a moment, she took her phone and searched for 'Love' in her contact list. Harry had set that name for himself and she'd never changed it, even when they had ended a long time ago. 

⌲ Have you gone on Twitter?

She waited patiently, and her heart sighed in relief when the reply came.

⌲ Love: No, why?

⌲ Nothing :)

⌲ Just wanna ask if you saw the article.

⌲ Love: The cast announcement right? They used a TERRIBLE photo of me.

⌲ Love: But yours looks great.

Ruby was beaming now. That sentence was enough to erase the previous phone call from her mind. Just as she thought she couldn't be any happier, his next message arrived.

⌲ Love: I'm right outside your door. Are you home?

⌲ Yes, give me a sec.

She tossed her phone aside, wasting no time to run downstairs and greeted Harry at the door with the tightest hug. Her happiness probably confused him, but she wouldn’t tell him anything, not James’ tweet, not even the horrible things the bastard had said to her. Now he was here, and she was no longer afraid.

Maybe her elation had prevented her from seeing his reluctance. She shut the door and grabbed his hand. “Sit, I’m gonna make you a cup of tea!”

“Actually, I’m only here to talk,” he mumbled as his fingers slipped right through hers, leaving her confused for a second. Laughing nervously, she said, “we can talk while having tea.”

“It’s gonna be quick.”

Ruby ignored that statement and turned to walk back inside. Something seemed wrong, but as usual, she hoped if she kept on pretending, everything would turn out fine. This, however, wasn’t the case.

“I can’t do this anymore.”

Those five words stopped her dead in her tracks. Simple as they were, their weight could crush her numb body to dust in an instant. Her arms fell slack to her sides as she looked back, her deep-set eyes widened at him. “You can’t do what anymore?”

“Us...” He confessed, nodding slightly to confirm whatever she thought was right. “I’m so sorry, but...I can’t.”

She took a deep breath, hoping, with a crooked smile, she could cover up the fact that her heart was speed-racing. “Do I deserve to know the reason?” She wished he had hesitated but it seemed like he already had an answer.

“I’m in love with someone else,” he said without pause. Ruby’s golden brown eyes fell shut as she took a deep breath then let it all out. She was even surprised by how she remained this calm, or she was so hurt that her brain couldn’t function anymore.

“Y/N.” The name made Harry flinch as he met her eyes once again. “That’s the girl, right?”

He didn’t have to answer, she already knew it was a yes.

“You know,” she began again, glancing at the ceiling as she chuckled softly. “When she first said her name, I could‘ve sworn I’d heard it somewhere else. Then I got home and kept replaying it in my head. Y/N...Y/N...Y/N...” She paused, pressing her lips into a lopsided grin as her eyes fell back on him. “And then it hit me, I’d spoken to her on the phone before.”

“What do you mean?”

“Well, it was two or three years ago I think,” she recalled, looking so indifferent to the way he furrowed his eyebrows. “It was when we called it quit the first time. We didn’t talk for a week and you went to Holmes Chapel for a funeral. Do you remember that?”

“Yeah.” His voice was barely audible.

She exhaled and continued. “The first night you were back in London, someone called you on the phone when you were in the shower. The girl said that her name was Y/N, and asked me to tell you to call her back. But you’d never mentioned a Y/N to me, so I assumed she was just a fan that somehow got your number, and I didn’t say a word to you about that. Never had I expected that...Y/N would be the one you chose over me today.”

She stopped to study his face, letting silence take over for a moment before she asked, “do you hate me for not telling you that she’d called?” Slowly, he shook his head. “Why?”

“It doesn’t matter anymore.”

“Because she’s dating Isaac?” She emphasized the name as if to make a statement. With tears in her eyes and her jaw tightened, she knew he expected her to yell at him, but instead, her voice trembled. “She’s dating your best friend...Why are you still in love with her?”

His answer was nothing she could have foreseen. “You don’t have to be with someone to be in love with them.”

Ruby had prepared herself for the worst, but she hadn’t thought it would hurt this bad. Her mouth set in a hard line, she couldn’t even face him now that her eyes had flooded with tears. Her elbows pressed into her sides as she hugged herself, making her body look so small. Then she pointed her shaky finger to the door and told him, “please leave.”

Harry only nodded as she turned away so he wouldn’t see her cry. In that instant, she wished he had said he was wrong, and he never wanted to hurt her feelings. But all that she received was “see you at the table read.” And just like that, he walked out.

Alone, and again, afraid, Ruby dragged her heavy feet to the sofa and sat there with her face in her hands. Her eyes shut tight as she tried to drown out James’ voice. But it kept growing louder and echoing through her ears as if he was living inside her head.

“No one will love you for real, Ruby. Not even that boy.”

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[littledemondani]

everything changes | duncan shepherd x fem!reader | part two

warnings: College Fuckboy!Duncan, semi-public smut, drinking, clubbing, reader being an all-around savage bitch, unprotected sex, unhealthy coping mechanisms. 

words: 2.2K

summary: You and your friends go clubbing to celebrate the start of the new semester, but what happens when Duncan ends up going to the same club as you?

a/n: Hey babes! This is the second part of my College Fuckboy!Duncan headcanons. This is also my first time writing smut. Also, big thank you to @wroteclassicaly for helping me with ideas for this. :D I really hope you all enjoy this, and I love y’all <3

part one

Thank you @ms-mead for this lovely moodboard <3 ily!

“Uhh, my name is Y/N actually.” You chuckled, trying desperately to keep your rage anxiety at bay. A million thoughts raced through your head at once that you didn’t even hear a thing Annette was saying to you. She excused herself and left to go do god knows what (you didn’t care, you just wanted to get the fuck out of there).

You got your phone from your clutch and send for an Uber. The last thing you want is to be stuck with Duncan for longer than you need to be. He hasn’t said a word to you. Nor has he so much as looked at you. Adding more fuel to the pent up rage you’re feeling. You decided to go outside and wait, knowing if you stay inside with him that you’re just going to lose your shit in front of everyone.

Once you reach the doorway you look behind you at Duncan one last time. He didn’t follow you, his utter shock keeping him from moving. His heart was thumping wildly in his chest as if at any moment it would burst out of him. He knew he had fucked up, severely fucked up. Still, he couldn’t find it in himself to follow you out and explain everything. 

He lifted his gaze from the floor to the doorway, locking in on your eyes. The look of betrayal and anguish on your face shattered him more than he’d like to admit. But as quickly as your eyes met, he turned away and walked off to go greet some acquaintances of his mother.

You felt your heart sink but knew what had to be done. This was it for you. No more putting up with Duncan and his bullshit. You opened the door and walked out of Duncan’s life, for good.

-

Summer vacation has come and gone - the beginning was spent crying over Duncan. For two weeks you waited for a call or text from him, heart jumping each time your phone rang. But nothing ever came. 

You can’t say you were surprised, especially not after the way he acted at the party. “Duncan Shepherd doesn’t chase after girls” had been a rumor you heard one day while waiting for class to start. It was true though: he didn’t chase after girls - they chased after him.

‘Not me,’ you thought to yourself. You were done with trying to figure Duncan out, done with crying yourself to sleep, done with wondering what the fuck you did wrong (which was nothing, of course). So you sought out to rid Duncan of your mind, and it worked.

The late summer nights were filled with drinking until you couldn’t feel anymore, getting lost in the embrace of another person, and waking up with a pounding headache that lasted all day. 

Maybe it wasn’t the healthiest way - but it got the job done. You soon forgot all about Duncan Shepherd and his fuckboy ways. Until it was time to head back to D.C. for a new semester. Then the memory of that handsome face asshole hit you like a ton of bricks.

Now here you are, back in D.C., and getting ready to go out to a club with your roommates to celebrate the end of your first week back. Anxiety flooded your veins at the thought of Duncan possibly being there with his frat brothers. But with the help of your roomies, and about 5 shots of tequila, that fear dissipated.

You were wearing a short form-fitting black dress, black Louboutin heels (yes..the ones Duncan got you), and a dainty necklace. After straightening your hair you put on your makeup. You looked over yourself one last time in the mirror, making sure every hair was in place and your makeup was perfect.

-

The club was filled with a bunch of sweaty college students, some drunk, some high, some both. You were on your 4th vodka cranberry, the drink making you feel fuzzy and carefree.

Your roommate invited her boyfriend and his friends, one of them being a guy you had taken some interest in as the night progressed. He was tall, but not too tall, with short brown hair, lean muscle, and pretty green eyes. 

Maybe it was your carefree attitude since leaving Duncan or your inebriated state of mind (let’s go with that one) that had you pulling whatshisname to some semi-secluded area near the restrooms. He was just looking too good and had been whispering dirty things in your ear as you danced with him, causing arousal to pool in your panties.

You pulled him in for a kiss, full of need with your tongues fighting for dominance. He walked you until your back hit the wall, running his hands down over your ass - squeezing - then stopping at the back of your thighs. Your hand snaking down to palm at his semi-hard cock, eliciting a small groan from him. 

“Jump,” he orders, lifting you with ease. You wrap your legs around his waist, bringing him in for another kiss.

“You’re not afraid of someone seeing us?” he asks while unzipping his pants and pulling out his cock.

“Just shut up and fuck me already.” 

Without hesitation, he pulls your lacy thong to the side and slowly eases himself into your tight, wet cunt. You let out a breathy moan, his girth stretching you deliciously. 

He rocked into you until he bottomed out completely, allowing you a moment to adjust to him. You grabbed the nape of his hair and tugged harshly, “I said, fuck me already.” a hint of venom laced in your voice.

You didn’t want him to be nice to you, you wanted him to use you. To fuck you like you meant nothing to him because he meant nothing to you. He was just a distraction, another person in your fucked up way of coping with the loss of Duncan.

He chuckled, “If that’s what you want-” he snapped his hips into you with brutal force, “then that’s what you’ll get.”

The pace he set was harsh and unrelenting. You loved every second of it, the way the head of his cock hit your most sensitive spot, the way your back was being pushed into the hard tile wall, the way your legs burned from clinging to him like your life depended on it, his bruising grip on your ass.

Your head was thrown back against the wall, hips snapping to meet his harsh thrusts, eyes closed in total bliss. You could feel the pressure building in the pit of your stomach, that familiar warmth spreading throughout your body.

You leaned forward and wrapped your arms around his neck, finally opening your eyes - when you saw him. Standing by the doorway of the men’s room, and watching you like a hawk, was Duncan Shepherd. You let out a loud, broken whine that came out more like a moan. 

“What the fuck?!” your train of thought actually leaving your mouth. This can’t be happening. You closed your eyes, thinking if you open them he’ll be gone, he’s just a figment of your drunk imagination. 

You open your eyes again, but no, he’s still standing there. Looking every bit the same as the last time you saw him. His hair perfectly styled, wearing his signature black leather jacket, dark jeans, and a black shirt. You let out another broken moan, pussy involuntarily clenching at the sight of him.

“Mmm, you gonna cum for me, doll? Cum all over my cock?” you ignored whatshisname, the only thing mattering to you at this moment was Duncan standing not very far from you, still watching you.

If he’s just going to stand there and watch, then you were definitely going to give him a show. You finally lock eyes with him, seeing the look of hurt (?) deep in his eyes...even better. 

You grab onto the back of whatshisname's hair, using it as leverage to help you bounce harder on his length. You moaned extra loud, wanting Duncan to hear you rather than just see you.

Each buck of your hips, every moan leaving your pretty mouth, was a knife twist in Duncan’s stomach. He couldn’t believe what the fuck was happening. How had he not noticed you before he went into the restroom? And are those the heels he bought you? 

It takes everything inside of him not to walk over to you and punch that guy in the face. But what would that do? Make you hate him even more than you already do? He knew there was nothing he could say or do at this moment, and it fucking killed him. 

It killed him to see you with another guy, much less fucking another guy - having someone else draw out those sexy moans and whimpers he loved hearing. Having another guy feel the way your cunt clenches and flutters when you're about to cum, it was all too much for him. 

Yet he couldn’t look away.

The way Duncan’s eyes bore into yours, like daggers, sent a fresh wave of arousal through you. This entire ordeal was something you found to be... exhilarating. You weren’t one to actively seek revenge - but this sure did feel fucking good, and you were getting off on it.

You weren’t going to last long, your orgasm fastly approaching. You turned your head slightly so your lips were near whatshisname’s ear, eyes never leaving Duncan’s, and whispering, “I’m g-gonna cum. I want you to cum inside me.” It was like your words flipped a switch in him, sending him into a frenzy.

His already bruising grip on your ass became even harder, thrusting up into you with such force you knew you wouldn’t be able to sit, much less walk after. Your moans turned into screams and legs shaking around him as your violent orgasm ripped through you.

A few more thrusts and his cum painted your walls. You stayed connected to each other for a bit, both trying to regulate your breathing. He moved to set you down, making sure you were okay to stand. You adjusted your thong and dress - looking up to find that Duncan had left from where he had been standing.

A tiny pang of disappointment (?) hit you. You had hoped that maybe Duncan would still be there, that you’d be able to rub it in his face even more that you were doing fine without him. Your thoughts were interrupted by whatshisname taking your hand in his and pulling you back towards your friends.

-

Several drinks later you found yourself back on the dancefloor with whatshisname. Your hips swaying to the beat of the song and his hands roaming all over your body. You turned around to have your back against his chest, your ass rolling against him.

And - for the second time that night, you caught sight of Duncan Shepherd. He was sitting in the VIP section of the club (of course) laughing with his frat brothers and some girls. One of them practically sitting in his lap.

Bitch.

Duncan was trying to have a good time. Trying to force the image of you fucking another guy to the back of his mind. Tried to let the girl practically throwing herself at him distract him from the clusterfuck of emotions running through him. Tried to drown his thoughts in alcohol in hopes that they would stop screaming at him. 

“Hey Dunc, isn’t that Y/N?” one of his frat brothers called out, pointing you out on the dancefloor. He turned his gaze to where his friend was looking, seeing you dancing seductively with your date. Without thinking he stood up and marched his way over to you. Ignoring the others telling him to stop and it was a bad idea. 

He wasn’t sure what he was going to do once he got to you. Wasn’t sure what he should say, or if he should say anything at all. He contemplated turning back but decided against it. He needed you to know how he felt, how he truly felt.

No more hiding.

Once he got to where you were, he grabbed you by the wrist and pulled you off the dancefloor. With the anger evident on his face you couldn’t help but start laughing. Was he actually serious? After everything, he put you through, and now he’s the one who’s angry? It was hilarious to you - even in your drunken state of mind.

Your laughter only made Duncan angrier. Pushing you up against a wall and trapping you by placing both hands on the side of your head. “You think this is funny, Y/N?” his voice seething. Nostrils flaring from how pissed off he was. 

You couldn’t help but think he was still fucking hot, even when he was mad. You also couldn’t help the arousal it sent through your body. Or the shiver it sent down your spine.

“Yeah, I do actually. Now if you don’t mind-” you move so you could leave, but Duncan pushed you back into the wall. “I’m not done talking to you. I don’t know what you see in that guy. He can’t fuck you like I can, make you cum like I can. He probably didn’t even make you cum at all.” he taunts while playing with a strand of your hair.

If you weren’t pissed off before - you were fucking pissed now. “He did make me cum. I can feel it between my thighs, wanna see?” you say with a smile. Duncan’s face dropped, which didn’t go unnoticed by you. “Didn’t think so, now get the fuck out of my way, Duncan.” you give him the nastiest glare you can muster up and push him off of you, walking back towards your date and your friends.

And Duncan stood there, head hanging low. Cursing himself for talking to you the way he did, for letting his anger get in the way of what he was really trying to do. But there was nothing he could do about it now. No way for him to come back from that. At least not right at that moment. 

For the last time - Duncan Shepherd lets you walk away from him.

-

Tags: @avesatanormalpeoplescareme @fckinsupreme @lovelylangdonx @wroteclassicaly @svjourn @hecohansen31 @ms-mead @your-daddy-langdon @delgrey

#duncan shepherd x reader #college fuckboy!duncan #house of cards #duncan shepherd #y'all this is trash but i wanted to post it anyways #take my hot garbage #take it now #dani's writing

[noreasonjustbored]

Absence Makes the Heart Grow Jealous

Part 1:

Charlotte and Henry started dating a few months before their high school graduation. Everyone thought that it was a bad idea for them to begin a relationship because they were already set to go to separate colleges. Henry decided to attend the local community college, so that he could still be Kid Danger, and Charlotte would be a few hours away at Stanford on a full ride.

Before deciding to take the risk, they agreed that it wouldn’t work if both parties were not 110% committed. Knowing that they both wanted to make ‘them’ work above all else helped them to persevere through the rough patches. In the beginning the miles apart placed a strain on their relationship since they were so used to seeing each other every day. But they adjusted, they really put in the time and effort needed keep their relationship afloat. The distance eventually forced them to have better communication skills. They learned to articulate how they were feeling more concisely since they couldn’t read each other’s body language through text.

Since starting school they had both grown up a lot more. Charlotte decided to make the most of her college experience. She absolutely focused on her academics, but she wasn’t afraid to hit up a frat party every once in a while. She really found her stride in clothing design and would sometimes even sport her own looks to these events. Her wardrobe as a whole was more diversified. While her new clothes were far from risqué, she did show a little skin more often than not. She was overall a more confident and open person.

Henry was maturing in his own ways as well. He was taking over more responsibility when it came to the superhero business and the regular business. He would go out on missions alone frequently and only requested Ray for backup when absolutely necessary. Henry was really coming into his own as a hero. He was even considering rebranding himself and retiring his Kid Danger moniker for good. He couldn't yet decide between Man Danger, Sir Danger or Mr. Danger. He would have to workshop the name a little more.

It had been almost a year since Charlotte and Henry became official. In that time, they learned a lot about each other. Individually and as a couple. Charlotte learned that Henry was extremely needy and possessive and jealous. Henry learned that Charlotte was not.

Sometimes it bothered Henry that Charlotte was so nonchalant about people hitting on him. They had once been on a date where the waitress flirted with Henry the ENTIRE time. She was even so bold to leave her number on the receipt with a winky face next to her name. Charlotte didn’t even bat an eyelash. And he knows that Char noticed, she was way too observant not to pick on the very obvious server. She didn’t make any comments about it during or after the dinner.

He, on the other hand was always claiming her in front of random people. He couldn’t leave her alone for two seconds without coming back to some schmuck shooting their shot. Guy after guy were constantly getting curved by his beautiful girlfriend. That didn’t stop Henry from making his place known. A glare and a not so subtle hand around her waist or shoulder usually did the trick. He just wanted to drive home to these dudes that they had zero chance, not with his Char.

Henry figured that he should be happy that she was so secure in their relationship. And he was happy, but maybe he would like to see a little jealousy every once in a while. Charlotte had such a casual attitude towards the attention he got from other women, and sometimes men, that it felt like she didn’t care at all. He knew that he had already hit the jackpot with Charlotte, she was truly one of the best things to happen to him. He just wanted to feel as if the same was true for her.

Their first anniversary would fall during spring break so he convinced Charlotte to let him plan the entire week. She was hesitant to leave everything in his hands but conceded after a few days of pleading and pouting over FaceTime. She almost couldn’t believe how quickly she caved after seeing Henry’s adorable puppy dog expression. She did always find it hard to resist those beautiful brown eyes. Especially when combined with his hopeful begging to, “Just trust me babe. Pleeeaase.” Charlotte folded like fresh laundry.

Henry decided that they would go to New York for their break. Charlotte loved musicals and fashion, both of which there was an abundance of in New York. He decided that he would take her to a Broadway show, a concert and a runway show. He was ambitious.

During his research for the trip Henry discovered that the first installment of the official New York Fashion Week was hosted every February. They had already missed it but there were usually a series of smaller, more accessible shows in the month or so following. He was able to secure them seats at a show with an up-and-coming brand that seemed to fit Charlotte’s new style.

During his deep dive into fashion shows, plays and all the other events happening during their break, Henry saw that the Boo Man Group had shows in the city that same week. Charlotte loved them plus it would make up for that one year on her birthday that she missed their performance because of superhero shenanigans.

When trying to get tickets online he discovered that the group was sold out the entire time they would be in New York. Sighing in defeat, Henry was about to click off the browser when he noticed that the Boo Man Group weren’t doing a solo performance. They actually were just the opening act for none other than...Double G!

A tiny spark of hope bloomed in his chest when he realized that he just might have a connect to get into the concert after all. He figured it was a long shot but he quickly pulled out his phone and searched in the contacts. Once he found the name he was looking for, he immediately hit the call button.

Biting the corner of his bottom lip in anticipation, he hoped that she still had the same phone number and would pick up. Tapping his fingers on his thigh nervously Henry listened to the ringing tone and was just about to disconnect the line when he heard a raspy, “Hello?”

“Hey. Babe?” Henry asked.

Babe squinted down at her phone in confusion and cleared her throat. “Henry?”

“Yeah. I’m sorry, did I wake you up? I completely forgot about the time difference between California and New York.” Henry said while glancing at his clock on his beside table. 9:02 pm. It would be after midnight over there. Oops, thought Henry.

“Uhhh yeah, that’s okay though. I’m up now, what’s going on?” Babe wondered while sitting up in bed. She hadn’t talked to Henry in over a year, unless you counted his extremely scarce retweets on Twitter or a rare comment under her posts on Instagram.

“I was wondering if you could help me get tickets to one of Double Gs shows in March?” Henry asked hesitantly while scratching the back of his neck.

“Uuuuuhh” was Babe’s reply.

“It’s totally okay if you can’t help me out. I figured I would at least ask because all the dates were sold out. And I know you are close to his family. You know what? Forget I brought it up” Henry said in a rush.

“Henry it’s okay, I’m still half asleep and I was just contemplating if I would be able to get you tickets. Chill.” Babe replied with a small laugh.

“Sorry. I’m a little high strung right now. I’m trying to plan a spring break to remember and these tickets would definitely get me one step closer.”

“I’ll tell you what, I’ll check with Trip tomorrow at work. He pretty much has access to all his dad’s shows. I can probably hook you up with backstage passes, VIP, the whole thing.”

“Really? Oh my gosh, thank you so much. I can’t believe it” Henry exclaimed excitedly.

“Yeah just text me tomorrow with the details. What days you’ll be in town, number of tickets, whatever else” she said while yawning.

“Ok, ok will do. Thanks again. I really owe you one Babe” Henry said sincerely.

“Don’t mention it, I’ll be happy to collect on a favor from Kid Danger” Babe teasingly retorted.

“Well, have a good night. I’ll let you get back to sleep. Talk to you later.”

“Talk to you later” Babe replies before hanging up her phone.

A large smile covered his face when he thought about all the fun they were going to have. Spring Break couldn’t come fast enough.

Henry was so busy arranging the trip that he barely had any extra time. He and Char usually FaceTimed every night but recently that had decreased to two or three times a week. On top of all the trip planning, he was out on more late night crime alerts than usual. It seemed as if every villain in Swellview had suddenly gotten the motivation to enact their little schemes all at once. Like they all decided that they needed to complete their plots for total domination before Spring Break. Maybe they were going on vacation too.

Henry was busy consolidating his budget one afternoon when he got a video chat request. Looking up from the document that he was reading he searched under all the pages spread out on his desk for his phone. He finally located it under a credit card statement that he had printed. Looking at the screen he involuntarily smiled when he saw the contact picture. Pressing accept, he was greeted by the glowing umber skin of his gorgeous girlfriend.

"Hey Love" Henry greeted with a dazzling smile.

"Hey Handsome. I was just calling to see how you were doing on budget day" Charlotte responded.

Furrowing his brows and squinting slightly, Henry chuckled. "How'd you know it was budget day?"

"Well I know you've been working on being more fiscally responsible after I explained that good credit wasn't just for 'crusty old dudes'. Plus your card balance is due tomorrow and you always wait until the last minute to figure out your bills."

"Wow, aren't you quite the detective?" Henry sassed lightly.

"Yes. Yes I am. Also, you put it in our shared calendar with a frowny face beside it." Charlotte smirked.

"Oh yeah, I remember that now. That was after the third time I had pushed it off for later. I decided to put it in the joint calendar because I knew you would hold me accountable if I didn't do it."

"Smart plan. You know I can help if you need anything."

"Yeah, actually I have a question about interest rates. How do you-" Henry paused.

Charlotte could see Henry looking at his phone in contemplation while biting the corner of his bottom lip. “Uh, baby?" Charlotte inquired after few seconds of silence.

"Hey, I'm actually getting an important call, let me call you back later okay?"

"Oh ok, don't forget to tell me...your question about interest" she trailed off when he she realized that he had already clicked over to the other line.

Strange thought Charlotte.

He reluctantly interrupted his conversation with Char because Babe was calling him back. He needed to know if she was able to secure the tickets for them. But, he decided it would be a good idea not to tell Charlotte who was calling. He didn't want her to figure out the surprise location and a clue like that could give it away. She wouldn't be able to guess where they were going since she didn't know that he was talking to Babe. What other reason would Henry have to speak to the New York native?

Henry spent the next few weeks coordinating with Babe about his Epic Spring Break Trip. She helped him get the concert tickets and extra perks but she also gave him advice about what other events would be in town that week. She provided the inside scoop about all the cool local spots in their area. She also helped him pick which Broadway show they thought he and Charlotte might like the best. She assisted with picking what hotel would work best with his budget. Babe was basically his travel agent without any pay.

When everything was finalized and shaping up to be the best spring break of all time, Henry called Babe to ask her what he could do in order to repay her for all the assistance. She responded that she was more than happy to help and if she thought of anything, she would let him know. He told that he would help her with whatever, whenever and let her know that it had been great catching up with her over the last few weeks.

Henry had previously only considered her a nuisance based off the impression she made when they first met. Now he thought of her as, at the very least, a good acquaintance. Maybe even a friend. Time seemed to have mellowed her out significantly. He might even consider accepting her friend requests on his private social media pages. He followed her profiles but she had seemed like she would be hella annoying online so he held off on letting her follow him back.

As the vacation approached, Henry got more and more nervous. He went back in forth in his head about if Charlotte was going to hate everything that he planned. Unnecessary thoughts plagued his mind. What if her interests had changed? What if she hates Boo Man Group now? What if doesn’t like fashion anymore? What if she doesn’t even like ME anymore?

His fears were quickly assuaged on the day before they were set to leave for New York. He, Ray and Schowz were all standing around talking while they hula-hooped. He had just dropped his hoop for the thousandth time when Charlotte came into the ManCave. She immediately dropped all of her luggage after stepping off the elevator and catapulted into his arms. He hugged her back tightly and when he pulled back to look at her face he could see the love shining in her eyes. He let out a sigh of contentment while holding her in his arms. Then they proceeded to have the most intense, toe curling, lip tingling kiss that they had ever shared.

Their passionate, borderline inappropriate kiss came to an abrupt halt when they heard an airhorn sound off loudly right into their ears. They hadn’t seen each other since New Year’s day, could you really blame them for getting swept up into the moment? Quickly jumping apart they looked around to notice that Ray and Schwoz were staring at them incredulously.

“Geez guys, did you remember to breathe?” Ray exclaimed.

“Yeah it looked like you were both trying to suffocate each other with your tongues.” Schwoz snidely commented.

Charlotte looked embarrassed to have lost her inhibitions in front of the pair and weakly called out “Shut up!” while rubbing her arms awkwardly.

Henry chuckled and pulled his mortified girlfriend into his arms again and gave her a simple kiss on the forehead.

“What are you doing here babe? I thought I was going to pick you up from school on the way to the airport tomorrow morning?”

“You were but I wanted to surprise you. You’ve spent so much time planning this trip that I feel like we haven’t spoken much lately.”

“Awwww...you missed little ole' me? I’m honored” Henry responded jokingly.

Charlotte hit him lightly on the arm. “I mostly missed Jasper” she says with a smirk. “Where is he by the way? I wanted to see him before we left. I thought he was coming home for break?"

“Jasper was invited to some kind of exclusive bucket convention last minute so he’s actually in Wisconsin right now.”

“Oh. That’s weird, but totally Jasper. I also missed those two goofballs, but don’t tell them that.”

“Your secret is safe with me.” Henry said lowly while bending down to give Charlotte another kiss. Before they could even brush lips, the air horn let out three quick spurts too close for comfort courtesy of Ray.

“Uh uh uh. No more of that in here. I don’t like to be reminded of how single I am.”

“And stop hogging Charlotte!” Schowz said while pulling Henry away to bestow a brief hug upon her.

“I missed you! You know these idiots can barely comprehend what I’m saying most days” Schowz lamented.

“That's because of your silly accent and you know it!” Ray cuts in while pushing Schowz away with a palm to his face.

He gives Charlotte a quick hug as well and says, “Welcome back Brains. I didn’t miss you at all.”

“Love you too Ray” Charlotte says with a smile.

They spend the whole day in the ManCave watching movies and catching up on life. This place was her home away from home and she wouldn’t it change it for the world.

#charlotte page #henry hart #henry danger #chenry #Ray Manchester #schwoz schwartz #charlotte bolton #kid danger #riele downs #jace norman #babe carano #game shakers #cree cicchino

[kibanafuji]

27/12/2019

sleepless nights, and then one more // ft. @obstatune​

He’d let them see too much. A tired face he’d hoped they wouldn’t notice. But they did. He insisted it wasn’t too bad, but...

[nezu opened a new conversation with kibana]

[nezu >> kibana]: hey man [nezu >> kibana]: I mean this in the least weird way possible but I was actually really good at singin marnie to sleep if you think that might help, I’m actually pretty close by today

[kibana >> nezu]: gonna admit i did just picture full on screamo lullabies which would be interesting to say the least [kibana >> nezu]: ineffective but interesting

He thinks for a moment. The truth of the matter is that he didn't get any sleep. He's afraid it's gonna get worse, too.

[kibana >> nezu]: yeah alright [kibana >> nezu]: little sleepover, pay you back with breakfast, how's that sound?

[nezu >> kibana]: heh. I mean I probably could, if that’d help more. [nezu >> kibana]: sounds great. I’ll bring you some more salami too this time, slommy whore [nezu >> kibana]: I think they make vegan salami too. I’ll look. we can have a real rager with it

[kibana >> nezu]: omg your so woke king [kibana >> nezu]: slommy night with the lads

While he waits for Piers, Raihan is working on making himself look... slightly more presentable. He looked tired in that selfie but it's much worse in person. ... This is probably as good as he's gonna get. So long as he smiles, he won't look too... horrifically tired, hopefully. Oughta clean up a little too, while he's got time. He continues idly talking over Chattr, though eventually his messages begin to drop in frequency--- mind’s too tired to handle both.

[nezu >> kibana]: 😔👊🥖 [nezu >> kibana]: no salami emoji so we got bread [nezu >> kibana]: 🐉🥖🎤🥖

[kibana >> nezu]: just spent far too long trying to find this one mad lad meme and can't for the life of me find it wanted to send it like "let's recreate this but with salami"

[nezu >> kibana]: whatever it is I’m down [nezu >> kibana]: we could make the all women are queens video but with salami instead of light sabers

[kibana >> nezu]: i thought putting me to sleep meant letting me have a nap not euthanizing me via laughter-induced suffocation

[nezu >> kibana]: well you know what they say [nezu >> kibana]: if he breathe [nezu >> kibana]: ... [nezu >> kibana]: he’s a THOT

[kibana >> nezu]: by that logic if you die by suffocation do you get your virginity back?

[nezu >> kibana]: shit you know what I don’t actually know the logistics there

Piers is only a route over from Hammerlocke, so thankfully there’s no need to take a flying taxi to make it there. As promised, he has two varieties of salami in his bag, along with his ukulele and a blend of tea that always helps him get to sleep. 

“Rai! I’m here!” He calls, but shoots off a quick text too, just in case. 

[nezu >> kibana]: outside! And I picked up the slommy. in for a wild night I’m sure

Raihan is further inside, cleaning up his bedroom, but Flygon opens the door for him; it's done this before, even takes in packages for him sometimes. This is roughly when Raihan sees the DM, and mutters an "oh, shit." 

Right, he guesses this will have to do-- his room isn't too bad, but it's messy by his standards... Whatever. He heads out to go open the door for Piers-- 

but Piers is already inside. And he hasn't put his "i'm not that tired" face on. He quickly remedies that, though, the moment his brain recognizes what his eyes took in. He's good at that, good at hiding. He just has to hope Piers didn't spot him before fixing it. 

 "'ey mate. Flygon let you in, eh?"

Piers smiles brightly as he sees Flygon open the door. “Heh. Didn’t bring Sylveon with me this time, so you can rest easy. Thank you, by the way.”  He offers him a pat on the head. 

 It takes a minute or so for Raihan to make it in, but it’s immediately apparent how tired he actually must be, even from across the room. Piers pretends not to notice. 

Raihan is like him. He doesn’t want anyone to worry about him. He’d probably outright reject Piers’ help if he knew he did worry. 

“Ey! Yeah, hope that’s alright.” He pulls Raihan’s share of salami out, waving it. “And as promised!”

"Aww, hell yeah." 

A grin stretches across his face but quickly transforms into a yawn that he hastily hides with his elbow. 

"Right, gimme that, gonna deepthroat the shit out of i--" Raihan can't finish the last consonant before he starts laughing. There is one benefit to being sleepless: everything that is funny in the first place is infinitely funnier when you're delirious.

"Still couldn't find that picture, by th' way. Got Rotom lookin' for it, though I'm startin' to think I 'allucinated it." He waves Piers over to the kitchen, opening the fridge. Likely due to him simply being tired, he sounds more... Hammerlocked than usual. He's never been one to speak in any way that didn't come naturally, and his tone is exactly as it usually is, so it certainly still sounds like Raihan; but the difference is notable nonetheless. "Want somethin' t'drink?"

"Aww, changin' the subject because you can't deepthroat it?" Piers teases, handing off the salami before following Raihan into the kitchen.  He's a lot better at hiding his concern than Raihan is at hiding the fact that someone should be concerned about him.

"Water's fine, if you've got that sort of thing in Hammerlocke." He says.  "Otherwise, whatever game of thrones style norse mead you have in here'll do fine."

He looks back into the other room at Flygon, trying to gauge if Raihan's pokemon are worried too, or if this is something that happens often.  "Whenever you're ready to sleep, too, we can do that.  Don't feel like you need to wait up for me."

It's a testament to how out of it he is that he doesn't have much to say in response, just offering a few (genuine, but low energy) chuckles. 

 His Pokemon are worried, sure, but they seem too much like they know what to do-- be nice and quiet, leave Raihan mostly to himself, let him wind down, and hope he can get to sleep. At this point they even know to turn off any lights Raihan forgot about. 

 "Nah, was thirsty anyway..." He grabs two cups and since the fancy bastard has a fridge with a water dispenser and ice machine he's got two glasses of delicious, refreshing water in a jiffy. Hot water might make you sleepier, but god, there's no better drink to him than fresh cold water. He drank right out of a spring during winter once and it was heavenly. 

 He sets both cups down on the breakfast bar and hops up on a stool. He looks like he's about to say something but he's promptly cut off by another yawn. 

 "... Don't worry 'bout it, a lil longer isn't gonna hurt..."

Piers gratefully takes the glass, leaning up against the bar, well aware that Raihan’s stools are most likely specially made for someone who is 6’8. The last thing he really wants to do is flail around like an idiot trying to get up there. 

 “Not worried, really.” He lied. “Just puttin’ it out there. Don’t want you stayin’ up for my sake.” 

 He takes a sip. “I was serious about makin’ the thot video at some point. Maybe in the morning. Should do Uh...’numbers on the gram’ as the youth say.”

Snrk. "Gonna get liked an' 'retwittered' like crazy. Go totally 'infectious'. Definitely super hip with the teens, me. Know all the slang." 

 The stools do adjust, with the sole issue being that you've already got to be on it for you to lower the seat-- either that, or Raihan has to prop a leg up on it and hope it's enough weight that the lever on the underside will actually do anything. He doesn't plan on sticking around in the kitchen for very long anyway, so if Piers is fine with standing the dumb stools are staying where they are until he replaces them the second he gets the chance. 

 "Nah, just got a ritual, y'know? Like t'stick with it, even when I'm dead tired." The ritual is good, the routine is good. Pavlovian logic and a lot of melatonin are his main weapons against sleeplessness-- so long as he follows the steps, he'll get sleepy, and he'll hopefully fall asleep. 

 The ritual also helps him stay awake, when he finds himself not wanting to sleep. But not sleeping is easier than sleeping, no matter what he does. 

 He considers adding that he also needs a drink to take his sleep meds, but decides against it. Someone who doesn't regularly have sleep problems would get knocked out real quick with a dose of Benadryl, so getting to sleep would hardly be an issue. Takes more than that to down an insomniac dragon, though. 

He downs the rest of his water, refills it, then with a short glance at Piers to follow along once he's ready, shuffles along towards the hallway leading to his room. He stops partway there, though, jerking a thumb at a door. 

 "Yer room for t'night, by the way." He opens it to let his guest take a peek-- a big cozy bed, what looks like a door to its own bathroom, even has a TV set up. "No game system in 'ere, you can 'ead out to the livin' room for that, if you want. Got cable, though!"

"Oh, that's what we call it! Perfect.  I'll make sure to "retwitter" the video once it "gets contagious."" Piers laughs, only vaguely aware of the actual nuances of any social media platform besides Myspace.

Raihan looks exhausted, but Piers can't rush him, as worried as he is.  Nothing keeps a person awake like feeling like they need to be asleep.

With a bit of relief, Piers follows.

He doesn't mention that the bedroom is bigger than the one he has at home, but he does smile.  "That's perfect, thanks man.  Hope I don't wake you up yellin' at the TV, though.  Get kinda heated when I'm watchin' food network.  Hopefully you've soundproofed the room. Heh."

Piers quickly thumbs through his bag and pulls out his ukulele again before setting the rest of his things inside the door.  "I'll be quieter with this, though. No screamo lullabies, unless that's what you're into.  I'd be happy to oblige if it was."

"Your surname secretly Ramsey or summat?" Raihan jokes. "Now that I think 'bout it, Gordon Ramsey'd be right at 'ome in Spikemuth, wouldn't 'e?"

He's definitely curious about screamo lullabies, but he's thinking too slowly right now to formulate a thought in time. He ends up just opening the door to his own room, and heading in--- and making a quick turn towards the bathroom, where he'd stored his sleep meds for tonight. Out of the way, so hopefully Piers won't take notice.

He'd already ripped the labels off of all the bottles that weren't prescription a long time ago. Just in case. He quickly and quietly swallows his nightly sleeping pill, and then quickly tucks a few tabs of melatonin under his tongue.

And then he washes his face and takes out his hair ties like that's all he was doing in there. He runs a hand over his hair sideways, to loosen up his dreads a little now that they aren't tied back, and walks back out to go take a seat on his bed. He's silent, hoping it'll be taken as him just zoning out due to sleep deprivation; in actuality, he's waiting for the sublinguals to dissolve.

"Somethin' like that." Piers says.  "Fuck, he really would.  I'd love to add someone like him to the band.  Screamin' that much takes uh...lotta breath support.  I could totally see it."

Piers doesn't look as Raihan heads into the bathroom, but he has some idea of what he's probably trying.  Again, he knows not to address it.

Growing up, Marnie was a closed book.  Piers learned quickly to nurture and protect the small bits of vulnerability willingly given to him without pressing.  So if that's something Raihan wanted to talk about later, they would talk.

For now, he waits for Raihan to get out of the bathroom, quietly crossing his legs to sit on the floor and tune his ukulele.

"I have a list of songs I used to use, but if you had anything in mind, I could probably figure it out."  He says, trying not to stare too much now that Raihan has his hair down.  "And don't worry.  I'm kind of a night owl myself, so I won't get sleepy on ya if this takes a bit."

"Nah, nothin' in p'ticular." The lack of enunciation is easily excused with him being tired-- honestly, it's actually influencing it more than the sublinguals anyway.

... He's really starting to feel like Piers is... noticing, though. That he can tell.

It's not the medication that he's worried about most. ... Honestly, if he happens to open his mouth too wide, he'd be downright enthusiastic to inform him he uses melatonin tablets, because those things melt into white goo, and even for a closed-off person like Raihan he'd rather confess to being an insomniac than look like he'd just taken a load in the mouth or something...

In any case, he'll have to hope he's wrong, and that he's just imagining it.

Right. He takes a moment, goes over things in his head. Did he forget anyth...

... Shit. He's only now realized Piers is sitting on the floor-- he forgot to get something for him to sit on.

... Too late now, though, he supposes. He feels bad about it, but... he does need sleep. And if he thinks too much, moves too much, he'll lose the chance.

... Oh, that's it. Something else felt off, unfinished-- because something had fallen off his bed, and was stuck between it and his nightstand. He puts the little plush Goomy back next to his pillow, where it belongs, and lays down on his side to face Piers.

Only as an afterthought does he toss a blanket over himself-- he'd prefer not to, he feels vaguely embarrassed about getting all tucked in and cozy so his mate can sing him to sleep when Raihan is supposed to be an adult (despite the fact he'd gladly do this for someone else and not see a problem with it), but... He's fucking freezing, and the weighted blanket helps him sleep, so he pulls it on. Casually, though.

"Mkay... Piers, use Sing... status move, but let's hope it's super effective anyway..."

Piers laughs.  "All else fails, I'll go catch a Jigglypuff or somethin'.   Shouldn't take too long."

He's plucking the strings softly now.  For a few moments, it's just that.  But then he starts to sing.

It's quite the opposite of how Raihan saw him sing before - his tone is airy and gentle, a sound that precious few have ever heard from him.  Only Marnie.  Marnie and Raihan.

The songs he wrote for Marnie are probably too much.  Hell, they're too much even for her at times, and he has to tell her that he wrote them about someone else.  So he sings a different one - a lullaby that doesn't ask anything of him.  Doesn't ask him to lean on Piers, or to open up to him, or to let him keep him safe.  He will if he wants to.

At one point, he fades out the instrument and sings by himself.  Only for a verse.  It's almost as though he got so lost that he forgot to keep playing.  It's a choice, of course.  But not necessarily one he planned before.

He wasn't expecting it to work so quickly.

But it does.

And quicker than he's experienced in years, he notices all the signs he's going to fall asleep soon, but without all the steps he usually needs to take-- no careful repositioning of his body, no focusing on thinking about one specific topic to keep his mind from becoming too busy and waking him up. No routine. A few minutes, rather than an hour or longer.

And yet, he's a little unhappy about it, if only for the fact that once he's asleep, he can't listen to him sing anymore.

His eyes are still slightly open, but a memory occludes his vision. The image is vague, but the feeling, it's nostalgic, warm-- he wants to remember clearer, he wants to see it.

If he closes his eyes, maybe it'll be...come... ...  ...  ... bunkbed, it's... the bunkbed...... he sees it now ... ... ... 

Quiet, steady breathing, and nothing else. 

(Sure would be a shame if that changed at some point.)

Piers sings a few more songs.  Just as soft, just as gentle - making absolutely sure that Raihan is actually asleep.  He's more than happy to keep going all night if he has to.

Once he's almost sure - he pauses, then sings one single line from Raihan's favorite song, Weenie Man.  No laughter.

Confident that he was successful, Piers stands up and makes his way to the room he's staying in.  He changes into the pajamas and slippers he brought with him, then tucks himself into bed and turns on the TV.  Food Network.  Cupcake wars.

He stays awake just long enough to root for the little vegan girl to win, then falls right to sleep.

Some hours later, the TV switches on by itself.

It isn't set to a channel, but the volume setting is rising without any input from the remote---

And then suddenly, it's playing a movie.

... Or, part of one.

Over and over and over again.

A character saying a single word.

"Help-- Help-- Help-- Help-- Help-- Help-- Help-- Help-- Help-- Help-- Help--"

It keeps it up until Piers is awake, and as soon as he is, and as soon as he's conscious, it begins flicking between different moments in the film.

"Rye-- Hann-- needs-- Help-Help him-- Please-please..."

"Wh...hello?" Piers calls out in a daze, almost certain he's having a nightmare at this point.  But he rubs his eyes, and the TV is skipping.

It takes a few seconds.

Then he recognizes Raihan's name.  But why--

...Rotom.  It has to be that.

What an absolutely brilliant Pokemon. But he'll think on that later.  Now, he's stumbling out of bed, still half asleep, and before he can even catch his balance, he's running right to his room.

Piers swings the door open.

It's silent. 

Silent, aside from the sound of breathing-- quiet, very quiet, yet erratic in its tempo.

Rotom flies into the lamp on the nightstand and it flickers on. The light reveals Raihan; he's upright... somewhat. He isn't lying down, but he's hunched over, head in his hands.

Body, trembling.

Fingers, twitching.

Jaw, agape.

And eyes that are wide, wide open, but might as well be blind.

That expression of sheer terror, of horrified realization, isn't one that the foot of his bed could possibly cause.

"Rai..." 

Piers should think about what to do next.  Weigh what must be happening with what would be appropriate to do in a situation like this.  Especially because he's never seen this happen before.

Marnie had nightmares.  This was something else.

He moves faster than his brain can tell him not to. Before he knows it, he's kneeling in front of the bed, placing himself directly into Raihan's line of sight.  He's unsure what to do with his hands - touching Raihan suddenly could startle him to the point of trauma, so he settles on resting them on the bed next to him.

"I'm here."  He says softly, expertly masking the alarm in his voice.  "I'm here, Raihan."

Not another one... Not another one, he doesn't want to lose another one... He only has so many left that that don't turn into that...

There are tears pouring from his unblinking eyes.

Eyes. Eyes Staring at him. Don't look ■•》~♤ie

Aaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhh Don't look, please He doesn't want you to see him like this

...

Rotom is back in Raihan's phone. It's showing Piers a picture. Two, in fact. Instructions.

Rotom knows Raihan better than Piers ever will. Probably better than anyone ever will, save his other pokemon, possibly.  So when it tells Piers what he needs to do, he only hesitates a bit.

He doesn't want to touch him without asking.  But there isn't a way to ask.  And Raihan is terrified.

So Piers swallows his inhibitions.  All he can give Raihan is the best he can do.  That's what he owes him.  And if he's wrong, and Raihan hates him -

...

He takes one last look at Rotom, and then moves to the bed.  He's shaking, too.  But as instructed, at least he thinks, he gathers Raihan in his arms.  Pulls him close.  Reaches around to rub his shoulders.

"I'm not goin' anywhere."  He says. "I'm here. I'm here."

Inhale... exhaleinhale in ha le    exh   ale

"..."

He's coming back. He's coming back now, back to the present, back to...

"... ■■■ie...?"

The first ■ letters don't make it out of his mouth-- and it's a good thing, too. He doesn't want her to see him like this.

Only those last two letters of her name make it out, perhaps aided by him suddenly snapping into

his room. Warmth. Embrace. P

ier

s

"... h...hhi...hhs...?" It's an attempt to say his name.

He's

...

God damn it.

He's got no hope of hiding. Every other time he's already hiding by the time this happens, but this time, he...

... He... ... ... This has all been too much for him Far too much 

...

it's been a really long time since someone last held me after a nightmare...

...

Raihan moves his feeble, shaking arms, and he's suddenly, even suddenly to himself, clinging onto Piers-- Piers is shaking too, he's-- He wants to scream, but he doesn't want to and he can't want to-- A whimper, a very faint whimper, all he can manage--

"... nh..."

... pathetic. 

Piers is really, really good at hiding what he feels. Even to himself.

He doesn't remember feeling after his mom's death.  He remembers Marnie.  He remembers existing to make life better for her.  He remembers swallowing everything.  Because if Piers doesn't hurt, he can't burden others with it.

But that was distant.  The knowledge that she had passed was something he could separate from himself.  This...

...This is  breaking his heart. 

Raihan clings to him, and he's sure he can feel the way Piers is starting to choke, too.  Even then, he holds him tighter.

"Don't have to say n'yth..."

...His voice cracks.  Piers takes a second.

He's an expert at this.  Raihan needs stability, and Piers will let his lungs tear themselves to shreds before he denies him that.

"I've got you."  He says.  "You don't need to say anything."

But he wants to. He wants to, but he can't.  It drives him fucking crazy. He can't stand it. He's so pathetic. 

 Rotom nudges his hand, knowing full well that there is a want-- but he can't get himself to let go, either, to take his phone and tell him what he wants to say.

He needs to calm down first.

Just... calm down. Calm down, ■■■ ■■■■'■ ■■■■■■■ ■■■■■... ■■■■. ■■ ■■ ■ ■■■■ ■■■■, ■■ ■■■■■ ■■■■ ■■■■ ■■■■.

... But even when he starts to calm down, it just makes the sorrow deeper.

Another memory has been corrupted by... the other memory. Another memory, finite, only eight years' worth, that he won't be able to think about anymore, without also seeing that awful red splattered pooling on white 

"...n... hh--"

He inhales sharply and grips Piers tighter. Raihan's body is suddenly very, very tense. ... No... no, no... have to stop... thinking about it. 

Anything else, think about... absolutely anything else.

Piers keeps holding him.  Even closer. 

There's a lot he can offer him, but not yet.  Not until he's stable.  Now, he just reaches up with one hand and gently rubs the back of Raihan's neck.

He starts synchronizing his own breath to Raihan's - for the most part, that is.  A trick his Sylveon used on him the one time he had a panic attack in front of her.  Once they're synched, he starts to gradually slow his own breath down, hoping Raihan's might follow.

"Would it help if I sang again?"  He whispers, nuzzling his face into Raihan's shoulder without thinking about it.

... 2 minutes, 45 seconds.

... It's excruciating every time, but that's a lot... faster than normal. 

 It helps that it's Piers. 

 Piers, of all people, he... He doesn't want anyone to know, to know, to know, but Piers has a little sister too Strong-willed, focused... A sister he cares about who he'd do anything for, protect no matter what, never ever make a mistake like raihan did Maybe  even if he knew if he found out then at least someone would finally yell at him  for being such a fuck-up that would be nice 

 ... He doesn't respond. But after a while, his grip has softened, too. And Rotom comes back, and this time, he takes his phone.

He doesn't let go of Piers entirely. Rotom knows what he wants to type, and corrects it for him.

It soon floats over to show Piers what he wanted to say-- what he kept trying and failing to say, and what he wants to say now that he's calmer.

Piers nods after reading Rotom's note, but doesn't fully let go, either.  He wants to stay, wipe Raihan's tears away, keep him company so he doesn't slip into a nightmare again -

...But that's not what Raihan needs.  He might want Piers around, but he wants his dignity more.  (Not that Piers would ever think less of him for this, or think him pitiful or pathetic, but he understands.  He gets it.)

"You have nothin' to be sorry for."  Piers says softly.  "I mean it.  You're the strongest person I know.  That hasn't changed.  I promise."

He does pull back, just a bit.  Then, just to make sure this wasn't an issue of Raihan wanting him to stay but being too embarrassed to ask -

"I can go, if you want some privacy.  But I'll stay if that'd help.  Gladly."

His hands don't move. They give way with Piers's movement, but they don't let him go completely.

"..."

He closes his eyes, tightly. Tears had still been flowing quite steadily until then, but as soon as his lashes part back open, he isn't crying anymore.

He's not strong at all. Not when it's his own emotions. But if he's too weak in front of people, they're going to think he can't be strong for them. That they can't rely on him.

That's not an option.

... And now he has to consider if he'd seem less strong if he did ask him to stay. Even if he didn't talk at all-- not about what just happened, that is. Would asking him to stay be

... Piers probably... already thinks Raihan's weak, doesn't he? After all, he... he came here, and... ... Why does that feel a little bit... relieving? ... Must be because he's so tired. He'll... he'll fix it later. He'll try, at least. For now, though... he feels like if he isn't just a little bit selfish right now, he isn't going to be able to keep himself together for the rest of this awful, awful period.

He doesn't say anything. But he moves his arm, and he takes the glass of water still on his nightstand. It's still cold. Rotom flies off somewhere momentarily while he slowly takes a drink. He's hoping once he's finished, he can... speak again.

He's careful not to move too suddenly.  It's obvious that this is hard enough for Raihan without Piers assuming what he wants or needs. 

 He doesn't press, either. Just sits quietly as Raihan drinks.

...

He wants to stay.  He wants to be there for him.  To take care of him.  If it were his choice, that's what he'd take.  But it isn't.

Piers doesn't know exactly what happened.  Or what Raihan feels.  But he knows, at least vaguely, what it's like to feel like he needs to hide it.  And how that can override almost anything else.

He's silent, patiently waiting for Raihan to get his bearings before he tells him what he needs.

It's refreshing, and it clears his head a little. ... He's pretty thirsty, actually. He wonders why for a moment, but then he remembers he did just cry his damn eyes out. Shouldn't be surprising he's a tad dehydrated.

He... he's still having a bit of trouble. Come on, Raihan, get it together...

Rotom is back. ... Oh. It's possessing his Switch so it could carry it ov It smacks him right in the face with it.

"Geh!?"

... He has spilled water all over himself.

"... You're a little shit," he says, affectionately, a faint smile tugging at his lips as he gives the floating device a gentle bop on what he thinks is probably where Rotom's head should be--

... Oh. He's got his voice back.

... He's also... covered in water, but more importantly, he can talk.

"... S... sorry. Again." His hand travels upwards, rubs the back of his neck... and then Rotom sets its vessel down in his hand before popping out of it again, and after a moment's thought, Raihan speaks up again. "... Wanna play Snipperclips?"

With that offer comes the same friendly smile he's always got. The same tone, too. His eyes are still a little puffy and red, and there are still tears drying on his cheeks... and he's acting like nothing even happened.

If it weren't for the remaining evidence, if he'd had the chance to clean himself up a bit, no one would be able to tell anything was wrong. Not unless they knew him too well, or were too perceptive.

His will is strong enough to compensate, though, and he knows how to avoid giving a real answer without having to lie, either. Fake the vulnerability, only say as much as he needs to so he doesn't seem like he's trying too hard to cover up how he really feels, like he never feels less than good, because people wouldn't want to be helped by someone like that, but also make any problems sound like they aren't severe enough to warrant someone getting worried about him-- hopefully, at least.

you can still lean on me, see? i can pull myself together well quickly, so... even though i look pathetic right now, and even though i was pathetic earlier... i'm only weak when it's just myself.

"AAAah!"

He's not sure if this is the appropriate response, but he laughs.

He really can't help it.  The water gets on him, too - not like it got on Raihan, but enough that it jolts the last remaining sleepiness out of him in one quick move.  It's dissolved a lot of the tension, too.

Not that he was uncomfortable, but Raihan seems more at ease, now.  That's what matters.

...

The thing is, Piers is that perceptive.  (Music alone doesn't draw Team Yell to his side so loyally.  It's charisma.  It's empathy.  It's being good with people.)

Raihan isn't okay.  And this probably isn't the first time this happened.  But the side of him he let Piers see a moment ago has been rescinded, and he respects that.  If he feels safe, maybe-

...But he owes Piers none of this.  So he lets it slip from his hands like sand.

"Snipperclips!  Never played it, I'll probably be pretty bad..."  He says with a smile.  "Sure you could show me the ropes, though.  Or wipe the floor with me.  That might be more fun, actually.  I'm pretty good at being a professional ego boost."

"... Pffhaha. Nah, man, it's a puzzle game, got co-op 2 player," he responds, then after a pause, grins mischievously. "Well, most of the time, it's cooperative."

Oh, he fully plans on attacking Piers the moment they clear the level. That's half the fun of Snipperclips: spamming the snip button until you clip so much off of the other player that they disappear, completely without warning at the end of every stage. Since Piers has never played it, he's not going to complain about always being the smaller-shaped (and thus disadvantaged for the battle) piece until it's far too late.

Yes, it's a little mean, and he doesn't deserve it, especially not after what happened mere moments ago.

... But come on, how can he resist? He usually loses the snip battle because he's so satisfied at the end of completing a puzzle he forgets that Leon's about to come at him like a fucking rabid weasel and literally tear him to shreds.

Raihan hops out of bed. First, let's pop the controllers off and stick the Switch in its little docket so they can play on the TV-- there we go. "'ere, pick what colour you want," he says, tossing the JoyCons in the general direction of the bed. They're a custom set, one controller being light blue and streaked with yellow and orange, and the other purple streaked with red and pink-- reminiscent of a sunrise and a sunset, respectively. Rotom flies towards the TV and disappears into the electronics again to get the console and game prepared for play.

A moment later, he also tosses a towel to Piers from the bathroom. Since he's already covered in water, it isn't much of a deal if he gets more water on himself, so he might as well wash his face again and make himself look less miserable.

Once he's done with that, he heads back out and walks to his dresser on the other side of the room. Wet clothes aren't very pleasant to sit around in, and he's soaked. So with very little thought about it, he pulls his shirt off. The motion flows in such a way he feels a bit of stiffness in his muscles, so he lets the action transition into a quick stretch, and the dragon tattooed on his back almost looks alive. The motion of his spine makes the dragon's body slither, the flex of his shoulderblades expands and collapses the wings; the artstyle isn't particularly realistic, but it doesn't have to be for it to look like an extension of his body.

He tosses his shirt in the laundry basket and starts rummaging around for a new one.

As Raihan gets up, Piers awkwardly looks around the room.  It definitely wouldn't be weird to get settled on the bed, and it would actually probably be weird to dip down to the floor at this point, but it's not like Raihan actually invited him to sit there - then again, the bed is huge, and it's not like they didn't share a very close moment only a second before - then again, Raihan didn't ask -

...

Stop overthinking.  Stop.  Stop. Idiot.

So he turns, sitting up in Raihan's bed, facing the TV.

Yeah. That was definitely worth the stress.

Piers picks the purple controller, waving it a bit to get a feel for it.  He's only ever played the wii.  This feels nicer.  "Heh.  Got to get me one of these sometime.  Didn't know they came in pink!"

The controller isn't even completely pink.       Piers is just on edge.

...

Well.

Heh.

Heh.

So, Piers notices the tattoo.  It's gorgeous.  It looks like it must've hurt like nothing else. It isn't surprising that he has it - but -

...Okay.  He's going to call a spade a spade here.  Raihan is hot.  This is a secret to exactly zero people.

But Holy Shit, my guy.  Holy shit.

Piers shakes his head.  He's good at this, too.  One moment of being completely floored by how attractive his friend is won't set him back too long.  It happens.

“...That tattoo is sick."  He says, hoping that the earnestness in his voice comes through as being genuinely interested in the artwork alone and not...well.  The canvas it's painted into.  "How uh...how long did that even take?"

"Oh, yeah, you can get 'em in all kinds of colours! Those ones're custom, though. I 'ave a few different pairs, sorta got into collectin' em. Or at least the ones that look particularly neat."

... Snrk. Yeah, he's got to wear this one.

He glances over his shoulder when Piers speaks up again, blinking twice.

"Oh, heh. Thanks," he smiles, running a hand over the back of his neck again. "Yeah, took a damn while. Not to mention I was 15, and... obviously, seein' as I don't have any others, my first tattoo. It's a tradition for us vault guardians to get one, though, so cool as it is--" He reaches behind himself and taps a finger near the tail of the dragon, where the tree branch blooms yellow, hanging above a field of purple flowers. "--that was the only part of the design I 'ad anything to do with."

Raihan tugs on the shirt he selected, and turns back ar--

Goku, lovingly embroidered over the right breast, stating "My Caprisun is MINE So eyes on your OWN WOMAN".

"I mean, don't get me wrong, I'd probably 'ave something similar even if it weren't part of the job. Definitely the wings, at least." He continues without commenting even a little bit on his choice of clothing, hopping up onto the bed and sitting cross-legged next to Piers. "But I'd like to get another, maybe somewhere a little more visible. ... And design the whole thing myself this time, too. Been thinkin' about what, though, and where. I got a few ideas, but... all the designs I've got in mind are pretty meaningful to me. Don't want to be haphazard about the placement, or the design, or in choosin' an artist."

Piers wonders if it would make him completely out of his mind to go ahead and get custom joycons and no switch.  If he's going to be hanging out with Raihan more... 

 ...That's assuming, again.  Eh.

“Makes sense, mate.  Don't think I could've handled somethin' like that at 15, though."  He says.  "Love to hear more about the vault sometime!  Only know uh...well, what's made public.  I know it's significant.  And for a better reason than that fuck-ugly mural that used to stand in Stow-On-Side."

...Raihan is.

...

...He's really, really good at hiding. It's almost like what he saw didn't happen.

And Piers tells himself he's more than ready to move on with him.  He's done it with Marnie before.  And with himself, more often.  But there is something in the room that hangs over them like a heavy fog.  He keeps breathing it.  Raihan isn't okay.  Raihan isn't okay.

Shut up.

Let him wait until he's ready.

...

But...he won't be.  Probably.  Piers knows this.

Because Piers never was.  And that's something he's only distantly, detachedly aware of.  Like seeing someone in a dream, with a different face, and knowing them anyway.  Seeing his own pain but feeling none of it.  By choice.

By choice.  Not for himself.  For other people.

Shut up.

Shut up.

Two instincts are fighting tooth and claw inside of him.  Both equally fed, both equally violent.  Let him be, the time isn't now, and the person isn't you and please, please, please let me take care of you.

"Ay, I can give you the number of the girl who did mine."  Piers says despite himself.  "She might know a few other artists, even if that's not the style you're goin' for.  I'm sure anythin' would look good on you, though.  Especially that shirt."

The physical pain of the tattoo was little compared to how it felt when his sister was taken from him.

He chooses not to respond to the first remark.

"I'd love to!" ... pff. "If we were housing a slab of pavement with a child's chalk drawing on it that they drew in 1993 and treating it like it's actually got incredibly important historical value, I'd be destroying the vault, not guarding it."

Raihan isn't okay, but he doesn't need to be okay to convince someone he is-- or at least convince them to leave it be. Ignore the Donphan in the room until it gives up and leaves. It just takes patience. He has plenty.

"That'd be wicked," he grins. "Thanks, mate. ... You just put an idea in my 'ead about getting a tattoo of Goku and his Capri Sun."

The vault is locked shut.

#﹙IC.﹚ #﹙DISCORD LOGS.﹚ #obstatune #﹙182.﹚ #very VERY long post under the cut

[bnhaworld]

Can you do a scenario where Shoto finds out his s/o is a part time masked vigilante that goes after corrupt heroes to expose them (basically they're a morally correct version of Stain) and then he learns they plan to target Endeavor?

I MADE THIS INTO A FIC BC IT WAS TOO GOOD TO RESIST ;W;

I changed a little bit of the story in which the reader works for a group!! I hope you enjoy it.

The ending is a bit bad but I hope you guys can still enjoy it- -Calamari

Secrets // Shoto Todoroki x Reader

In which Shoto realizes what task lies ahead of you.

Tw: Some mentions of abuse.

Shoto is highly observant. You weren’t the slightest aware of just how much he had noted the disparities in your schedules once you’d moved in together. After dating for nearly three years, two of those out of high school, you had successfully roped him into scoring in apartment for just the two of you. 

The first night, instead of sharing with him the small celebration dinner he had prepared, you had disappeared into the night stating work was calling. He hadn’t questioned it, despite the fact that it was too dark for it to be office hours.

You had come home quickly, after Shoto had given you a vaguely panicked pair of calls. That night, a hero was murdered; and immediately exposed for his drug dealing scheme he had been pulling off on the side. He had been found dead within the comfort of his own apartment, scattered with the remnants of his previous scandalous life style. He had been injected with awful levels of morphine and not a single hint had been found about the suspect

He rushed to your side when you entered and wrapped you in his arms, whispering into your shoulder that he worried for your welfare and he wished you would stay home. You nervously reminded him that your work didn’t quite have a set schedule.

This was his first hint.

On a separate occasion, you received a call at the dead of night. It was your boss telling you that a new hero had moved into your very neighborhood and he needed to be executed tonight. He was going to negotiate with the mafia tonight and it was the perfect story to simultaneously rid of the ‘societal parasite’ and expose his story for what it was. 

It was nearly 3 in the morning, and you were well aware of the consequences that came with denying your boss of his orders. You packed your hidden gear into a large, black sack and began to head for the door when you heard a frigid voice halt you in your rhythm.

“(Y/N)..? Why are you.. leaving?” He drawled out, wiping his eyes of the drowsiness still leaking from his system. You walked over to him, hoping that the very concept of time would simply slip away from him at this time.

“The bossman called. He forgot there was some work we needed done by tomorrow. I’ll be back soon, alright?” You sauntered over to him, pressing a soft kiss to his lips. You felt a faint smile on his lips as he placed his hands around your waist. He pulled away, pressing a singular kiss to your forehead. 

“Goodnight, then. I’ll see you in the morning..” He paused, his smile growing somewhat malicious as he continued. “I’m so glad we live together and we can be honest with one another.” 

As he stepped away from you, you felt your heart being pulled at its strings like a puppet. You didn’t respond to him. You adjusted the strap on your bag and headed out, letting a melancholic sigh find its way to your lips. One day you’d tell him. It simply wasn’t time yet.

As you exited the doorway, Shoto watched from around the corner. He had another clue.

A month passed. One full month with no job, but enough money from the previous few to fall ahead in terms of currency, especially considering the added income from Shoto’s highly successful hero job. The pair of disappearances never slipped his mind, though.

On one night, he asked if you could talk. You obviously agreed- it was frequent he’d need to discuss something with you, but the time for these meetings were always random, but purposeful.

“(Y/N), be honest with me, please.” He was twiddling his thumbs. There was seldom a moment in which you’d catch Shoto in a moment of visible nerves. You were concerned, however, your focus was more on the reason for the discussion. You were sure it was the fault behind his quivering palms.

“Shoto? What’s wrong?” You asked with caution, placing your hand on his. He pulled them away after a brief moment with caution of his own, dual-typed eyes refusing to lock on to yours. You felt your insides recoil at such a small action. He had never so outright rejected your affection. You said nothing, however.

A sudden lump sat firmly in your throat and beads of sweat began to form at the top of your head. Had he figured it out? Your secret job you’d spent years hiding from him?

“You know the vigilante? The one that’s been going after different.. ex-heroes and eliminating them?” He asked, his lidded eyes giving you a scanning glance. You half-nodded. Your anxiety coursed through every inch of you to the point where even words were difficult to formulate. 

“Is.. Is it you? Please, (Y/N), I need to know.” He spoke in soft whispers, as though he was well aware of the answer but was afraid to listen to its contents anyways. 

There was a silence so thick in the air that even the sharpest knife had no means of getting through it without receiving damage of its own. You felt tears strangling you and begging you for the mercy of relief. The lump in your throat hooked on to the edges of your throat and attempted to climb its way passed your lips. All the while, the truth perched itself a top of your tongue, waiting for you to flick it away and ruin your relationship for good.

“I am.” You choked out two words. It was enough for Shoto to simultaneously freeze and burn the table in front of you, leaving a puddle of ashes on the floor. You hadn’t even flinched. You knew exactly how he’d react. 

Shoto said nothing. His blank expression shared all emotions and yet, held every secret possible. He got up and went to his hero office, which was directly in the apartment. You heard the click of the lock, and then there was silence in the air once more.

“I was going to tell you, Shoto,” You spoke softly, and yet, the silence perfectly carried your words to his room. “But there isn’t a right time to say something like this.”

No response. 

“I’m sorry. I will wait for you, Shoto. Please, tell me when you’re ready to speak..”

Hours passed. You were glued upon the seat you had begun the discussion at, drowsiness eating away at your body but your nerves canceled out the sleep you so helplessly desired.

The door creaked open.

Shoto emerged, eyes mildly puffy, but demeanor softer and more open. He said nothing as he assumed his previous seat and cleared his throat.

“(Y/N)..” He began in a faint voice. “I don’t.. mind.. If you do this in your time to sustain our house. I just wished that for one, you’d told me sooner and that you’d warn me before you went out to do that. I want to be prepared, (Y/N). This isn’t easy. It isn’t easy knowing you were behind those deeds, and who knows just how many more like this have happened? Though they are.. corrupt. I understand it.. a little. I just.. I love you, (Y/N). We’re going to figure this out.”

Another year went by with seldom work. Every once in a while, you’d be called off for a job. A hero here, who went down due to his dangerous lust. Another hero gone and exposed for strange addictions. Things were smooth sailing, more or less.

Shoto never directly addressed your line of a work again. You knew, however, that he at least tolerated it to a certain degree. You were grateful for his slight understanding, however, everything changed the night of your latest job.

Endeavor was your latest target.

You received this text in the midst of the afternoon where Shoto was gone off on another shift. 

Boss: Enji Todoroki is guilty as well. He abused his children and his wife and we don’t know what else he has possibly done. It is a high task, I’m aware, however, I am trusting you will do well. 

You stared blankly at the message, panicked tears streaming like a river down your cheeks. A singular tear splat against the screen of your phone, and it felt as though a ticking time bomb had gone off. You burst out into violent tears, clutching the fabric of your shirt and hoping, needing someone to give you any kind of help.

Shoto got home at the moment. 

He found you on your knees, racked heavily with wordless tears that hacked away at your lungs and willed your breathing away. He immediately drops the bag he was carrying and rushes forth to you, wrapping his arms around you. He himself grows panicked. He doesn’t know what to say or do to comfort you because he doesn’t know what had just happened.

His eyes half glance at the phone, however, once he catches sight of his own last name, he recoils and rereads the message. His face flushes of all identifiable emotions. 

He looks back at you. He can’t figure out his emotions at all. He wishes to calm you down and tell you everything will be alright. But he also feels anger boiling in the very pit of his stomach at both you and the man forcing you to undergo this pain. He can’t think of a solution right away. There is too much going on, and he can’t piece together a perfect solution.

“(Y/N).” Is all he can muster. He takes each of your hands in one of his, piercing through your thoughts and hoping he can steal some of your thoughts and add it to the growing equation in his head. He takes one of your hands and presses it to his lips.

“Let’s run away.” He whispers. It is the first thing he can think of. He can’t come up with anything else. It is the only solution that makes sense, and even for him, it’s a little far fetched. 

“What..?” You murmur through dying tears, slowly removing your hand from his to wipe away your remaining tears.

“We both don’t fit in here. You have things. We have money. Let’s just.. go to another country. Together, where no one can find us. We’ll be safe and together..” He is speaking in a tone that makes it feel like he means it. As though he could predict the future.

You weren’t sure what exactly caught your attention throughout the entirety of his words, but you were sure you knew that he had described exactly what you had been wanting without even realizing it was what you had been searching for.

Without another moment, you both pack everything. Within another few hours, you are gone with him. Within days, there are search parties. Within weeks, you are exposed for your deeds. However, throughout years..

You were never found. Neither was Shoto.

#bnha #boku no hero academia #my hero academia #mha #bnha insert #mha insert #todoroki shouto #shoto todoroki #todoroki #bnha todoroki #shouto todoroki x reader #fluff #x reader #bnha x reader

[runningonmarvel]

be my valentine ch. 2

@you-get-to-exhale-now-cyrus second chapter of the Valentine’s Day exchange fic!!

A/N: takes place the two weeks before Valentine’s Day in their junior year. wonah. bandi. tyrus. a few curses. unedited but enjoy!!

Chapter 2: Hey, My Love

You've walked out a hundred times 

How was I supposed to know this time 

Jonah has been to seven concerts in high school, and the only one he really cared about was Harry Styles with Andi freshman year. Last year, during a period of time when he and Andi were actually getting along well, Andi had come to him begging him to accompany her to the King Princess concert. By the time the concert arrived, though, they were “taking a break” again, and Andi took Amber instead. 

Jonah had gotten attached, though, to one song from her: Talia. That was the song stuck in his head while he strummed the guitar on Tuesday afternoon in the Red Rooster. It reminded him of the disaster of his relationship with Andi, but it made him think, more than that, of the new feelings he had.

“Earth to Jonah?” He snapped his neck up, bent over the guitar, and adjusted his fingers in the frets. Bowie was staring across at him, suspicious of his lack of focus.

“Ah, sorry. I’ll try again,” Jonah says, trying to shake the prior thoughts out of his head. He aligns his fingers for the first chord and goes to play, but Bowie shakes his head.

“No, let’s finish for today. You’ve worked hard, and I figure you need a break.”

Jonah nods and puts the guitar up on the stand. A text from his mom tells him that she won’t be there for another half an hour, so Jonah goes to browse through the records. A early memory of a time with Andi flickers in his mind, but he shuts it out. Every place in Shadyside, every school hall and bike path and storefront, has some memory of Andi and him. It’s impossible.

As he drums his fingers over the stacks of records, Jonah allows the new feeling to wash over his mind. A crush, a crush, a crush, is the heartbeat in his head. He feels guilty, even though he and Andi have been permanently apart for four months. Is he allowed to like someone else? After a relationship that lasted nearly four years, on and off?

And what makes it worse is who the person is. Because in a cruel twist of fate, the universe blessed him with feelings for the one person in the world Andi might be truly hurt to see him with.

Freaking Walker Brodsky. 

Walker.

Walker!

The one Andi went on a couple dates with. The one Andi left so she could be completely with Jonah. The one Jonah hung out sporadically over the years until Andi and Buffy basically wrote him out of their friend group. The one Jonah in the past couple months has been hanging out with and texting. The one he now has an unfortunate, overwhelming, obvious crush on. 

Jonah picks up a record and squints at it: a love song. Great. 

“Hey Jonah, do you need a ride home?” Bowie steps into his line of vision and smiles at him. 

“No, thank you my mom’s coming, I’m just going to look at the records for a bit. Maybe shop.”

Bowie nods and returns to the register where he empties the tip jar slowly. It occurs to Jonah suddenly that Bowie has never once acted strange since Andi and Jonah’s final breakup. He’s been the same eclectic, guitar-teaching Bowie the whole time, which is odd. Jonah knows the Macks to be a family where emotions run high.

He walks to the pick shelf, where several higher-end designs stick out to him. His mom would probably say it’s stupid to spend money on a better-looking plastic triangle; but then again, his mom would say a lot of things are stupid. Like Jonah being upset over Andi. Like Jonah having a crush on a boy. 

He glances down at his phone: no new messages from his mom. So he picks out the best-looking pick from the shelf—nine dollars for the unique design—and takes it to the register. Bowie looks up as he places a crumpled twenty on the counter and pushes both items towards him.

“Splurging for a new pick?” Bowie asks, ringing it up.

“Seems worth it.” Bowie wraps the pick and hands him his change, then considers him for a moment.

“Jonah, would you… would you ever be interested in working here?”

Silence engulfs the store for a moment as Jonah processes that. 

“Working here? As in… ringing up customers, organizing records, polishing guitars?” Already, Jonah has an answer in his head: yes. He needs a job if he’s ever going to be able to get out from under his mom’s harsh influence. And he loves the guitar shop because it makes him feel safer than most other places. Andi’s apartment and room used to be his safe space, when they were on good terms. But not anymore.

“Yes, exactly. I mean, you’re almost 17, right. A job would be nice, and we have lots of room for a spot.” Bowie leans back against the wall. “Plus you’d get to clean and fix guitars all day while listening to music. Good music.”

“Thank you! I—I’ll ask my mom about it tonight, and I’ll get back to you tomorrow.” Jonah doesn’t know how he’ll broach the subject with his mother, not without her yelling at him about irresponsibility and disappointment. He takes the packaged pick and slips it in his pocket with the change. A job would be so nice, and it would mean he could escape the house more often. Stay out late after work and hang out with Walker. Avoid his mom.

Jonah hates that that’s the thought in his head, but it is. 

He sits back down on the lesson couch and is about to pick up a music magazine when Bowie sits down across from him. “Jonah, I’ve been meaning to ask. How are things going with you and Andi?”

Jonah stares. He stares, and then he swallows down an outburst. “Bowie, we—we broke up four months ago.” Jonah doesn’t know if Andi didn’t tell Bowie or if Bowie simply forgot, but the shock on his face suggests the former.

“You broke up?” “Yes, sir. We were off and on for a long time and finally she—we both decided it was time to put a final end to it. We’ve always been better off as friends but afraid to acknowledge it,” Jonah says carefully. He fiddles with the pick in his pocket, twisting it over and back four times.

“Jonah, I had no idea,” Bowie says. “Andi, she—“ he cuts off, stands up, and walks to the register. Jonah can see his mind processing as he blinks several times with his whole face and messes with the cash register drawer. 

“Didn’t tell you?” Jonah asks softly, then regrets it. No response from Bowie, who looks like a lost puppy. Jonah starts to feel bad that he’s been left out from this crucial piece of Andi’s life, because Bex surely knows about it. That’s why Jonah has been avoiding Cloud 10 for months: fear of Bex and Cece.

It occurs to Jonah now that Bowie may be angry with him. May not want to give lessons to his daughter’s very permanent ex. May not want to give him a job. That last one is the killer; if Andi loses him this job then her curse on his life in Shadyside will be complete.

“Why did you break up, exactly?” Bowie asks, once he’s regained a bit of composure. Jonah nods, and then tries to explain.

“Andi and I have always been close friends, and while we were dating bad things usually happened because of our feelings for each other. We created drama or hurt ourselves somehow. It wasn’t meant to be, or at least it wasn’t meant to be romantic. We just didn’t work out.” Jonah finishes, feeling like he’s explained it well. He doesn’t add in the part about Andi being distant the last six months of their relationship, and he definitely leaves out the part about Jonah realizing his own bisexuality and dual attraction to boys as he was dating Andi.

Instead of responding, Bowie just nods. And he keeps nodding, obviously upset, until Jonah’s mom arrives in her truck and honks the horn several time. He waves goodbye, but gets nothing in return from the Bowie lost in his thoughts. Before Jonah leaves, though, he walks through the record section one more time and returns back to the section where he found the love song earlier. He searches through the old love songs until he finds Be My Baby by the Ronettes. Dragging his fingers over the rough record slip, Jonah thinks about the various songs he’s written about Andi over the years. The first one was here, on the stage over to the right, back in simpler days.

Jonah slides the record back into the stacks and walks towards the door. It’s time to let past things end; he can’t keep being haunted by the memory of Andi. His feelings have already moved on, leaving only guilt and the finality of breakup behind. How is he supposed to fall for someone else when this entire town used to belong to him and Andi? Still, as he exits the Red Rooster, an idea starts to form in his head. 

An idea that would show his crush and himself that he was over Andi. An idea that would say, with no regrets: I like you, Walker Brodsky. No one else.

That you wouldn't call

That you wouldn't come home

————

On Wednesday morning, Cyrus is tired and already over the week. He was up late last night talking to TJ, then realized he’d forgotten to do his Bio homework. So after scrawling down some answers about mitosis and phases, Cyrus had fallen into a fitful sleep which hadn’t lasted over six hours.

Andi and Buffy are nowhere to be found before homeroom, so Cyrus goes to his locker alone. TJ has math tutoring on Wednesday mornings, so he won’t miss basketball practice in the afternoons, and he usually arrives just in time for homeroom. Meaning Cyrus is alone. He could look for Jonah, but Jonah has been disappearing in the mornings as of late. 

When he arrives at his locker, though, Cyrus stops and blinks twice. Tied between the holes in the blue metal and dangling against the locker is a pair of bright green roller skates.

Roller skates?

Cyrus looks around, thinking maybe someone conveniently dropped their roller derby or Wednesday night skate shoes on his locker. But it’s early, and the hallways are mostly empty. So Cyrus approaches the shoes carefully, lifting one up to inspect it.

Not only are they bright green, his favorite color, but there are tiny dinosaur stickers stuck all across the plastic shoe. He gives the wheels a loose spin, determining that they’re aesthetically pleasing but not necessarily the most supportive nor safe pair of skates. Still, Cyrus stares down at them. They’re clearly for him, but who would leave him roller skates? Andi and Buffy?

“Hello?” Cyrus calls down the hall, just in case anyone left them and tried to run away. Iris looks up and waves at him from where she was gazing at her phone intensely. He nods at her, distracted; it couldn’t have been Iris. They barely speak except in history class, and somehow Iris has become better friends with Andi than Cyrus.

When no one else responds, Cyrus looks back down at the roller skates. Several memories flash in his mind, of skating with the Good Hair Crew when they were younger, of learning to actually skate with TJ, of Andi’s roller-skating birthday a few years ago. Cyrus knows how to skate—right? And if the skates are here, then he should probably wear them—right? Feeling slightly like an idiot, Cyrus unties the skates from his locker and slides his feet into the left, and then the right. He holds onto the locker as he tries not to slip. The hallway is completely empty now; Iris has run off somewhere. So Cyrus gets his balance while gripping the locker, inhales slowly, and remembers when TJ taught him to skate. 

Distribute your weight evenly over the sole so you won’t fall over immediately. Use the brake if you need it, but you need it way less than you think you do. Skate in strides, like walking. Focus, and keep breathing. Your instincts will kick in.

Cyrus focuses, and he steps away from the locker. Stride left, stride right. And then the instincts take over, just like TJ told him they would. Cyrus is flying over the linoleum tiles, and he catches his breath. He can do this. He can do this. He can—

As the wheel catches on a stray book left in the hallway, another memory comes back to Cyrus: Jonah Beck trying to teach him to skateboard.

Cyrus feels his legs flailing beneath him as the wheels slide backwards. His knees hit the floor in a second. The ground has nearly reached his face when he feels an arm around his stomach stop the fall, pull him backwards, and leave him standing straight up.

“Cyrus?” He relaxes, realizing who it is.

“TJ!” Cyrus tries to spin in a circle, but he nearly slips again. TJ puts one steady arm around his waist and the other on his arm so he won’t fall. “Thanks for catching me,” Cyrus says sheepishly.

“I’m always there to catch you, Cy—but what’s with the roller skates? Joining roller derby?” TJ looks genuinely confused, his eyebrows drawn together in concern and his lips slightly pursed.

“Um. I don’t know who left them, but they were there. So yeah, I decided to try them out,” Cyrus says, which sounds like a bad explanation but is the truth.

“Okay, well, are you going to skate to homeroom now?” TJ asks, adjusting his math books under his arm.

“Oh, absolutely not,” Cyrus says. Over TJ’s shoulder he sees Buffy walking down the hallway, without Andi or Jonah. He waves, and she waves back, eyebrows raised at the skates. He leans forward, and feels his knees protest. “Nope, that’s not gonna work. I think I’ve broken my knees.”

Concerned, TJ glances at Cyrus’s legs. “Aw, Cy, you’ve got bruises all over. You’ve got to go the nurse.”

“I’ll take him!” Buffy chirps, reaching out to take Cyrus’s hand.

TJ stops her for a moment, pulls Cyrus back into a kiss, and then pushes him into Buffy’s arms. “Take good care of him, Driscoll.”

Buffy rolls her eyes. “I always do.” She takes Cyrus by the arm, positions him in front of her, and holds tight to his arms. “Let’s go, Goodman.”

Cyrus giggles, then shuts his mouth. “Did you leave these? Did Andi?”

Buffy shakes her head, and Cyrus considers that. She could be pretending, but both she and TJ had seemed genuinely shocked by the appearance of electric green roller skates on his feet. Strange.

Buffy manages to push him all the way to the nurse, then runs off to homeroom once he’s situated soundly in a waiting chair. After unlacing the skates and tying together the laces, Cyrus places them in his lap and settles back into the chair. His knees are bruised and aching as he waits, but he’s still warm inside from TJ’s kiss.

Suddenly, Cyrus hears someone slide into the seat next to him. He looks up to see Walker, who he hasn’t seen in months.

“Cyrus, hey,” Walker says. He rubs the back of his neck, and his eyes look tired. Cyrus waits, but Walker remains on the edge of his seat, meaning he’s here with a purpose. “Listen, I have a strange question.”

“Okay…” Cyrus says, running one hand over the plastic surface of the skates. “First—how are you? We haven’t talked in a while.” Walker nods. “Busy. I’ve got a big studio project due next Friday, and I want it to be part of my portfolio. How’s everyone?”

Swallowing Cyrus tugs on the laces of the skates. He knows that when Buffy ended things with Walker, he basically lost his main friend group. Walker and Amber seem to hang out a lot, but Amber almost never mentions him. There’s Natalie and Archie in Walker’s studio class, who Cyrus thinks he’s friends with. But he doesn’t know how Walker’s doing, not really.

“They’re fine. The usual.” “Yeah. Um, the question is—it’s—“ Walker stops himself, and Cyrus can hear the nervous beat of his foot against the tile. “Do you know if Jonah likes boys?”

Cyrus closes a hand around the knot on the laces. He’s suddenly aware of the heartbeat in his chest—did Walker just come out to him? No. But still—

“I’m not sure. He’s never said he has, you know—“ “Yeah, okay,” Walker says, and Cyrus hears the hitch in his breath as he gets to his feet.

“Walker, wait. He hasn’t said it, but neither had TJ the whole time I knew him. I thought he was the most heterosexual boy on the planet until he randomly came out to me. The point is—we don’t know,” Cyrus says, almost all in one breath.

Walker is silent.

“And,” Cyrus says, “Jonah is one of the most accepting people I know. He’ll be completely chill about it, I promise.”

“Okay.” Walker looks worried, and Cyrus remembers a similar feeling a year and a half ago when he was worrying if TJ would stop being friends with him if Cyrus admitted his crush. The anxiety had been real and consuming; every time Cyrus was with TJ, there was a voice in his head screaming: YOU HAVE A CRUSH YOU HAVE A CRUSH YOU HAVE A CRUSH. Cyrus understands.

“I didn’t know you and Jonah were friends,” Cyrus says carefully. Walker nods slowly.

“We have been for a couple months. We’ve known each other since… you know.”

Since Andi introduced us and then chose Jonah over me. That would be the implied instance.

It occurs to Cyrus that Walker liking Jonah of all people is quite ironic. But he doesn’t say that; he would be a hypocrite, anyway. He was the one dating for TJ Kippen, the boy his best friend used to hate.

“Listen, Walker. I think you should ask him to the dance. See how it goes. Jonah’s kind, and he’d be lucky to have you.”

Walker inhales sharply, and then he nods. Good luck, Cyrus thinks, but he doesn’t say it. Walker Brodsky has always been an enigma, and feelings for Jonah Beck are just another thing to add to the pile. Cyrus has had his suspicions about Jonah possibly liking not only girls, and now, it seems, they’ll all find out.

As Walker stands and walks away, Cyrus thanks his lucky stars that his crush on Jonah Beck went away—it’s kind of boring liking the boy everyone else does, isn’t it?

He gives the green roller skates one last once-over before rising to his battered knees and stumbling into the nurse’s office.

————

A cold wind knocks at Buffy’s window, and she glances out into the darkness. Math homework waits unfinished on her desk, but Buffy is sitting on her bed, legs swinging and mind racing. She plays back a series of moments in her head: the encounter with the Valentine’s Day banner, Cyrus’s text asking for help with TJ, Andi’s purposeful avoidance of her in the mornings and after school.

The wind blows harder, and Buffy grits her teeth. A note from her mom flutters where it is pinned to the bulletin board: a scrawl she left on top of a soup can for Buffy to find a few days after she left. The note reads: You are strong because you are kind, and you are kind because you are strong. I love you. Mom. 

She left a week ago for Japan, and Buffy is alone again. Her father is at work, as usual. Buffy doesn’t know if Andi will answer her calls, and if she does, Buffy doesn’t know how she would act—the feigned normalcy from the past year or the new uncomfortableness? She can count on Cyrus, sure, except that he’s always busy with TJ. 

So instead of reaching out to anyone, Buffy groans and sort of rolls onto the floor. After stretching out her legs sore from track, she flattens herself on her stomach to look under the bed. A minute of digging her hand around yields the scrap of fabric she’s looking for: a slightly battered pride flag, colored with the blue, purple, and pink of bisexuality.

Buffy glares at it.

This is what’s messing up her life right now. Her stupid feelings. And she can’t even show it in public, or rant to her mom about them, or talk to other LGBT people about confusing signals from possibly straight people. Buffy has told both Andi and Cyrus—Cyrus ordered her the flag. But no one else, so the symbol of her identity just sits untouched beneath her bed. 

She runs a hand over the different stripes. When Buffy was ten years old, she wasn’t interested in anyone, girl or boy. Ten year-old Buffy would have thought the flag was made up of lots of pretty colors. When she turned thirteen, she was conscious that who she liked made a difference in who she was, at least for the outside world.

And then she had a tiny crush on Walker, until he tried to ask her to formal with a cult. So Buffy was convinced she was straight even at the beginning of her relationship with Marty, because it was crystal clear in her mind: she liked a boy. Cyrus liked a boy, so he was gay. She liked a boy, so she was straight.

Until the lines weren’t so clear cut anymore. 

Like the colors of the flag, blurring into each other so her contact-less self wouldn’t be able to tell the difference between them. Buffy knew what it was like to like a boy. What she didn’t know—yet—was what it was like to like a girl. Until.

When Buffy talks about Marty now, she thinks of him in flashes. First: tentative friends, running partners again, cross country teammates as freshman year dawned. Next was that one time they held hands in the movies and never mentioned it again. Then came the pining and the realization she liked him. She liked him. Next was stress and worry and texting all night until one day they were sitting on the ground in Buffy’s room, right where she’s sitting now, and Marty leaned all the way in to kiss her. Then was dating bliss, then more worry, then breakdown. Buffy tried not to think about those phases, about which parts were her fault and which were out of her control.

Buffy also tries not to think about what happened two months after she hung up on Marty and ran to his house, crying, because they had to break up. Marty had disappeared from her life once again; only the ghost memory of him remained, haunting her runs. Marty from the party: her first kiss, her first love, her first true breakup: almost every first.

Almost.

What he could never be, though, was the first girl. 

The realization developed starting midway through freshman year, and it just kept coming back to her. Girls. Girls. Girls. It was like running into a wall over and over again, and that wall was the poster of Fifth Harmony pinned across from her bed. That wall was Hayley Kiyoko’s music being constantly stuck in her head. That wall was the stick in her throat when playing ‘Never Have I Ever’ and Cyrus declared ‘Never have I ever been straight.’

Once she realized it fully, and she could say the word with reasonable calm, it was easy to make the same choice Cyrus had. Actually, it was the opposite of easy. But it felt natural, when she said the two words together. She even told Marty, who told her confidentially he was too, and they bonded over it. The flag came along soon after as a gift from Cyrus. Her spirit was all there: she had the right realization, coming out journey, and self-acceptance.

But sophomore year—that was something Buffy could consider later. She flips the flag over between her hands until she feels centered, and then she slides it beneath her bed again. From across the room, her phone dings with a new message, which she steps to her feet to answer.

GHC fools

kingofthebabytaters: yo gays

kingofthebabytaters: guys*

Buffy makes a note to throw something at him at some point.

kingofthebabytaters: do you think the plan for tj is good??

kingofthebabytaters: I feel like it’s too extra but also not extra enough you know

andicrack: okay back up I thought we were set on signs

kingofthebabytaters: we aRe! but like is that special? andicrack: you made homemade signs that a bunch of ppl are gonna hold up. uh, yeah it is cy

notavampireslayer: yo goodman don’t doubt your excellent plan

kingofthebabytaters: excellent plans don’t always work out

andicrack: name one time—oH are we talking about 8th grade

notavampireslayer: this better not be about that freaking CULT

kingofthebabytaters: the point is I really want TJ to love it

andicrack: maybe perhaps I was buffy

andicrack: HE WILL

andicrack: stop stressing cy guy

kingofthebabytaters: you sound like jonah

andicrack: ew

notavampireslayer: your Valentine’s Day will be great Cyrus I assure you

Buffy puts her phone down for a second to consider this. How is Cyrus, of all people, stressed out about Valentine’s Day? He has a boyfriend, and not a recent one either. He basically has a guaranteed good day. The last time Buffy celebrated Valentine’s Day for real was with Marty, and that was on the back half of their relationship. Tension was building. What she wouldn’t give for one good Valentine’s Day, when the person she likes likes her back completely.

She’s not supposed to be jealous of Cyrus having a relationship, but she might be, which sounds needy but might be the truth. Does Andi have a valentine? She thinks of Amber, feeling a pang of—something—and turns her phone over in her hand. She’s doing the Andi thing where she hides her feelings from herself if she doesn’t like that she’s feeling them. She learned it from the best, like maybe if she doesn’t acknowledge them, they’ll go away. Buffy taps the back of her phone with her hand; she knows her feelings won’t go away.

Rolling over on her bed, Buffy opens her phone to Netflix. Since it’s the week before Valentine’s Day, sad hours, and even more specifically sad gay hours, Buffy starts to turn on Love, Simon. Before she can, though, the ringtone of her phone interrupts the logos. It’s not a text but a call from a FaceTime number. Buffy swallows as she stares at the screen, trying to decide if she wants to pick up.

Who is she trying to trick? The phone is in her hand and the accept button pressed within two seconds. 

“Hey, Buffy,” Andi says from the screen. She pushes a piece of bangs back from her eyes and smiles up at Buffy.

“What’s up?” “Just wanted to talk. See how you are,” Andi says, which sounds like a weak reasons anyways but even weaker coming from Andi, who never seems sure of herself anymore.

“I’m good…” Buffy says, then gets mad at herself for being boring. “I’ve just been thinking about freshman and sophomore years, you know. Reminiscing.” Andi nods along, and the two discuss school, friends, food, preferences, and the origins of Valentine’s Day (which happens to be the execution of two men during the Roman Empire). Buffy ends up modeling her two different options for a dragon costume (don’t ask), and Andi brings the phone downstairs so Buffy can say hello to Bex and Bowie. 

An hour and a half later,  Buffy can feel her eyelids drifting closed but doesn’t want to stop talking. It’s been a good several months since they have really talked like this—and it’s been a year since they’ve talked for so long with a comfortable ease. Everything dates back to one year ago, to what Buffy regrets every day and doesn’t regret at all. Her mother would tell her to ignore the regrets and just live, which is exactly what she’s trying to do. But Andi and her complicated feelings always make things hard, just like they did with Jonah. Buffy knows, somewhere, that the complicated feelings aren’t just from Andi; they’re from her too. But it’s easier to blame the problem that’s on the surface rather than the problem deep inside of her.

Because the problem deep inside is related to a word Buffy has only heard therapists say with meaning: commitment. And the second issue has to do with the flag underneath her bed.

But Buffy has her mom and Cyrus and yes, Andi, to worry about, so she doesn’t think about these things.

“So Buffy,” Andi says, slicing through her thoughts. “Is Marty dating someone right now?” “He’s dating Eleanor,” Buffy says as quickly as possible, then stops. Andi’s jealousy of Marty is an idea she can get behind, if it gives her any leverage.

“Yeah? What happened to Ross?”

Buffy laughs, only because Marty’s first boyfriend was a crackhead who he loved too much. Of course Ross broke Marty’s heart. “Ross is long gone.”

Andi nods, slowly. Then she says what Buffy thinks she’s wanted to say all this time: “I think Jonah likes someone else.” I think you like someone else, Buffy thinks, but she shuts herself up. “Who? Amber?”

Andi laughs. “Hopefully not, since she’s definitely a lesbian.”

“Jonah has a history of bad crushes.” Ouch.

“Jonah can like whoever he wants, I don’t care. I hope he has a good Valentine’s Day. WIthout me.” Andi looks very pleased with herself, which she honestly should be. On-again-off again Jonah and Andi had lasted multiple years and in a year alone had undergone seven separate disasters (Buffy counted). And yet, here she is, four months later, still a little caught up on him.

Jealousy stings.

“Good to know you’re being civil about it, Andi,” Buffy replies, not really paying attention. 

“Oh, I am. Libby and I still have plans to form a club: the ex-Jonahs.” “Form that club and I may have to block your number and burn my phone for good measure.” Andi giggles.

“Wow, we’re really bad with boys, huh?” Andi asks, tilting her head to the side.

“Girls too,” Buffy agrees, and Andi smiles a tiny smile. Buffy thinks of the flag and counts to three the different shades until she’s calm again. But when Andi smiles, with that gorgeous smile and brilliant eyes—

Time to shut this down before it got away from her.

“Look at us,” Andi says, her chinks blushing pink. “Single on Valentine’s Day. Maybe we should go to the dance together. After all, Cyrus abandoned us by getting a boyfriend. We’re the same as we’ve always been.” 

As Buffy nods along to agree that yes, they should go to the dance together, yes, it would be extremely fun, and yes, Cyrus is now an official traitor to the Good Hair Crew and they need to hold auditions for a replacement immediately, she turns over that statement in her head like she had the note from her mom and the flag. 

Somewhere around 12:42 am, Andi whispers a goodbye from the relative darkness of her room. Buffy mumbles one back, blinking sleepy tears from her eyes and waving with a slightly glowing hand. Andi waves back, and neither of them hang up until Buffy feels her eyes actually drift shut and finally does. She falls asleep in the next minute with Andi stuck in her mind, playing on repeat next to the words Valentine’s Day and dance.

On the other end, Andi stays awake until an even more ungodly hour, mostly staring at her window and wondering. Wondering how she can have messed up something so badly yet be lucky enough not to have ruined everything. Wondering if Jonah will ever return her third favorite sweatshirt. Wondering if Buffy is asleep now or laying awake thinking. Wondering whether every decision she makes is a massive mistake or a useless choice. Wondering how she’s going to get through this.

We’re the same as we’ve always been.

But they’re not. The unspoken between them is a living, breathing thing: one year old. Andi remembers the day; how could she not? Buffy may think Andi has forgotten it; she hasn’t. The reason sticks in her head every day: the reason for the tension, the reason for the discomfort, the reason for a year of needless separation.

It’s just a reason Andi can never even begin to acknowledge.

And so she doesn’t.

#andi mack #am gift exchange #valentines exchange #friendom gift exchange #wonah #bandi #tyrus #writing #fanfic

[richonnejustdesserts]

Teacher’s Pet : A Richonne Round Robin Fanfic

A small town sheriff and preschool teacher find love thanks to the cutest little matchmaker around. [RATED: T]

Chapter 9 (written by @reciprocityfic)

Fridays were quickly becoming Rick’s favorite day of the week.

There was, of course, the ubiquitous appeal of Friday bringing the end of a long week at work, giving Rick the freedom to focus on Carl and Judith.  And when the kids were with Lori, Fridays signaled the start of some often much-needed alone time.

Of course, his alone time wasn’t quite alone anymore.  And Carl and Judith weren’t the only two people he got to spend extended time with over a weekend that always felt too short.

Michonne was there now, fitting into his family and his life like she was always meant to be there.  And he couldn’t have been happier.

Fridays were good for many reasons, but his absolute favorite one was that Fridays always ended with Michonne.

They’d started a tradition together, even though their relationship was still relatively new.  After dinner in and spending quality time with the kids playing board games or hanging out in the backyard before sending them off to bed, or going out to eat and exploring more of King County so Michonne could continue to learn more about her home on weekends they were alone, Fridays always ended with the two of them curled up on his couch watching movies.

It was easy, it was simple, and it was one of the best things in his life.

They usually only got through one movie before one or both of them couldn’t keep their eyes open anymore, but tonight they had made it to a second one.  Still, Rick was having trouble focusing on the television screen, but it wasn’t because he was tired.

He couldn’t seem to keep his eyes off the woman pressed into his side.

Her hair was pulled into a high ponytail, and she’d changed out of the outfit she wore to dinner and slipped on one of his spare t-shirts and a pair of sweatpants she’d started keeping at his house for lazy nights spent in.  She’d taken her contacts out and perched her glasses on her nose, and was intently concentrating on the movie before her.

He loved the gorgeous, sexy outfits she always put together for dates, but he couldn’t overstate how beautiful he found her whenever she was like this: casual, relaxed, so comfortable in his home and there with him.

It made his heart swell in his chest, and he was so lost in his thoughts that he didn’t even notice that her gaze had shifted from the movie to him.

“Are you not enjoying my movie?”

He blinked and laughed lightly when he registered the disapproving look on her face, and he wrapped his arm around her more tightly as he looked towards the television and saw a scene from The Proposal playing out onscreen.

“Romantic comedies aren’t really my thing.”

“Well, it’s what I picked.  So don’t you even think about falling asleep on me.  You’re going to watch it till the end even if it kills you,” she warned, turning back towards the television.

He chuckled again.

“Yes, ma’am.”

“And maybe I would’ve been more open to picking something we both would’ve liked,” she continued, eyes never leaving the screen, “if you hadn’t made me watch a movie about the ghost of a dead witch chase around and kill college kids in the woods beforehand.”

“Hey, The Blair Witch Project was a defining moment for the horror genre.  The found-footage filming style would’ve never caught on like it did if it wasn’t for that movie.”

“Yeah, I know, Mr. Scary Movie Aficionado.  That’s the third time you’ve told me.”

He could tell she was trying to sound stern, but he could see the smile she was trying to hold back just turning up the corners of her lips.

“I’m just trying to educate you,” he defended.

“Something tells me you’re trying to use the old ‘Watch a Horror Movie With a Girl So She’ll Cuddle With You’ move.”

He let out a short laugh.  He couldn’t deny that.

“Would it be so bad if I was?” he asked her.

“Nah,” she answered immediately, turning back towards him, letting her grin light up her entire face now.  “I like that reason a lot.”

“Good,” he murmured, smiling at her softly before leaning down and pressing a kiss to her forehead.  They both refocused their attention on the screen.

But, again, the movie couldn’t hold his thoughts for long.  Barely a few minutes had passed before his eyes wandered and found her beautiful face.

He was always in awe of her, and had been since the day they’d met.  Since he saw her smiling face, heard her smooth voice as she stood and addressed Judith’s classmates and their parents.  But tonight, as he watched light from the tv flicker across her skin in the dim room, something overwhelmed him.  Her presence filled the air around them and enveloped him in the best way.  His heart pounded in his chest, and he felt words bubble to his lips.

He had the urge to swallow them down, as he had always tended to do in the past.  Lori had often accused him of being too quiet, and in many instances, she was right.  

He would learn from past mistakes.  This was different.  Michonne was different.  He was determined to make it different.

“Chonne?”

“Yeah?” she murmured, eyes still trained on the tv.

He sat up and reached down to the coffee table in front of him, grabbing the remote and pausing the movie.

“Hey!” she protested immediately.  “What the hell?  I told you, you’re not getting out of this.”

She turned her whole body towards him, her arms crossed and her lips pressed together in a small pout.  She was so adorable he almost couldn’t stifle his laugh, so he leaned in and pressed a quick kiss to her lips.

“I know,” he assured her, “and we’ll finish it.  I promise.  I just wanted to…talk to you about something for a little bit.”

He saw her face fall the tiniest bit, but she recovered quickly, and quirked an eyebrow at him.

“Okay, but make it quick, Grimes.  We’re just getting to the good part.”

He laughed again, and his breath caught as he took her in.  Once again, he was overcome.  He got lost in her, so much so that he nearly forgot what he wanted to tell her.

“Rick?”

Her cautious voice pulled him from his thoughts, and when he refocused, he found that the hint of worry that had flashed across her face a few minutes ago was there again.  He reached his hand out and cupped her cheek, running his thumb over her cheekbone in an attempt to reassure her.

“I like you,” he said, finally.

Her eyes warmed, and she smiled, leaning into his palm.

“I like you, too.”

A grin that matched hers took over his face automatically when he heard her words, and he took a deep breath to steady himself.  To try and temper his happiness and slow his hammering heart so he could focus on what he wanted to say.

“I really like you, Michonne.”

Her smile grew, but she didn’t answer him this time.  Instead, she grabbed the hand that caressed her face and brought it to rest in her lap, intertwining their fingers.  She nodded gently for him to continue.  She could tell that he had more.

That feeling of shyness that had always stopped him from speaking before came over him all at once, and he dropped his gaze from her face to their clasped hands.  He swallowed once, and tightened his grip on her.

“I really like you.  And I know it hasn’t been that long, but you fit so well here.  Having you, and getting closer to you has been so natural.  And I’m not just talking about Carl and Judith adjusting.  I mean, they adore you, which is amazing, of course.  But with me, too.  I know that seems obvious, but sometimes with kids people can get so hung up on making sure they’re alright, that they can forget about the relationship they’re building.  And I don’t want that to ever happen with us.  I want you to know that when I say how good this is, and how happy I am, I’m not just talking about how it is with them.  I’m happy with you.”

He lifted his head and captured her gaze again.  Her eyes shined, and she shifted until she was on her knees.  Then, she leaned forward, resting her hands on his thighs.  She nodded again, urging him on.

“After Lori and I ended things, I was afraid,” he admitted.  “She was all I knew, since I was a kid.  And I was afraid that I’d never find anything like it again.  That I didn’t know how to anymore.  I wouldn’t say the right thing or look the right way or do what I was supposed to.  But then I met you, and everything was so easy.  Like I said, everything just fit so well.”

He paused, and brought his hands to rest on her hips, his thumb finding the hem of her shirt and dipping below it to stroke her smooth skin.

“I didn’t find what I had with Lori.  It’s different than it was with her.  It’s different than everything else before, but it’s a good different.  And I’m not even sure I can pinpoint what exactly that difference is.  I just know that it’s there.  And it’s us.”

He pulled her closer to him, until she was practically sitting in his lap.  She wrapped her arms around his neck, and her fingers began to fiddle with the ends of his hair.

“Rick,” she breathed.

“This is different,” he told her earnestly.  “And it’s real, and it’s good, and it’s ours.”

She brought her forehead to his, resting them against each other and closing her eyes.

“It is,” she agreed.

“I’m guess what I’m trying to say is, I want this,” he told her, trying to resist the urge to kiss her.  He wanted desperately to get the rest of his words out.  “I know it hasn’t been that long, and it all happened kinda fast, but you’re here.  And now that you’re here, I can’t imagine you not being here.  I want you here, for a long time.  I’ll work for it.  I’ll put the time in.  I’m in this, one hundred percent.”

He trailed off, his words lingering in the air.  He laughed once, self-consciously.

“I just hoping you are, too.”

And she laughed this time, a sweet, soft sound that filled him from his head to his feet.

“Holy shit, Rick Grimes, do you have a way with words.”

“Well, they’re not usually my strong suit.  Or so I’ve been told.”

“You must’ve picked up some skills somewhere, then,” she surmised, leaning back and running her fingers through his brown hair.  A expression came over her face that almost seemed sentimental.

“You surprised me, you know.”

“Yeah?” he asked curiously.

“Yeah.  Before I moved here, I had a breakup that was not fun, to say the least.  It’s kind of what encouraged me to check out King County in the first place.  I was going to move to the country, swear off men, and find myself.  Or something like that.  Then Judith Grimes walked into my classroom, and she brought you with her, and I was pretty much a goner at that point.”

He smirked, and brought his hand up to tuck a lock of her hair that had fallen out of her ponytail behind her ear.

“And to answer your question - yes, I’m in.  Totally and completely.  I want what you want.  And I promise that someday I’ll tell you in a way that’s as beautiful as what you just told me, but right now I just want to curl up next to you and…bask in everything, if that’s alright.”

“I’d like that.  Plus, we have to finish our movie,” he told her, and then leaned forward to press a slow, lingering kiss to her smiling lips.  After a few, small, follow-up pecks, she shifted off of him, and returned to her original position, curled into his side and underneath his arm.  He picked up the remote, but before he pressed play, he spoke.

“I’ve been meaning to ask you - how have you been feeling about King County lately?  Still have that potential you were hoping for?”

He felt her laughter shake her body against his.

“I think it has a lot more than potential at this point.”

He chuckled, and pulled her closer to him as he started the movie back up.

“I do, too.”

And as the characters and stories played out on the screen before them, he savored her presence beside him.  The calm and joy she’d brought to his heart and his life.

Eventually, his eyelids grew heavy, as he was lulled by the comfort of being with her.  When they started to close, he snapped them open and blinked heavily a few times before glancing sideways to see if she’d caught him.

He found her fast asleep as she leaned her head against his shoulder.

He smiled, stifling his laugh so he didn’t wake her.  He took in her endearing, gorgeous, sleeping form and let it fill his heart, before plucking her glasses off her face.  He placed them on the table in front of them and then grabbed the blanket resting on the arm of the couch, draping it over them.  He stopped the movie, and turned off the television.

Darkness engulfed the room, and he closed his eyes, leaning his head against the back of the couch and falling asleep with Michonne in his arms.

Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3| Chapter 4| Chapter 5 | Chapter 6 |

Chapter 7 | Chapter 8 |

#author: reciprocityfic #richonne #richonne fanfiction #richonne round robin #teacher's pet #rjd writing network #rick grimes #michonne #carl grimes #judith grimes #grimes family 2.0

[ssimontis]

Digital Romance Brought to You by Pixar

I hate this Disney shit I want the end of it Television romances speaking to the masses While life situations just pass us by I don't believe in magic and it's not tragic Connections aren't formed they're taken by bandits As if a moment in the street is all we ever need To sow our seed in a future prepackaged like the goods we worship I say it's time to call the bullshit Life situations never happen like that You think a glance passing by can start a romance? I might have never learned to dance, the clubs weren't for me and the bars were too far out We don't know ourselves these days and that's the price we pay All interconnected technology our human side has bested We can't interact without a glowing white screen Blue light fatigues the mind but fairly tales corrupt our minds We pick and choose partners with a swipe left or right When technology went cordless it took away our courtship We forget the ones around us the friends that surround us I never took chances because the consequences were too rancid But all of life is a game to create decay and betray I was afraid of failure to the point I couldn't bear Harboring emotions so dark they sent me into depression But nothing stays forever the people in our lives stay never You have to take chances to win take risks for a spin A coward in social interactions I've always been But are our new methods of selection a glorious resurection? All I needed to do was talk to you We sat across from each other and I let my favorite code Form a fearful abode where you didn't exist so I couldn't resist The guilt and frustration of the chances daily wasted From the moment I saw you I knew that I wanted you But direct confrontation was never my style Irony takes time because distance so limited now grows infinite Medications meant to slow my mind left me feeling restless The proposed feeling of calm not going to make these frustrations fall I now crave human contact when I took it out of the contract Trained to isolate by all the shit I loved to freebase well All of the time lost in my mind playing back fantasies I could never turn into reality With that attitude I knew couldn't bring positivity and So I came to work every day with half a brain to avoid the insane Thought that you and I would get caught in something worth more than my lot I tried to impress you the issues I dozed for you The music we shared but of shallow talk I was aware And every time I saw you react to another person I felt like being stabbed in the back But insecurity paralyzed me the fears were the worst in me It took me giving up everything I had just to finally take a chance Most of my crew came from a life I barely knew At this present moment but they were my biggest proponents Maybe it was liquid courage maybe I finally conquered the scourge of my reluctant ways But by the pool side that day I finally felt related to the person I debated Approaching every day hoping it would be the time I found my way To make the perfect move that doesn't exist no matter how hard I wish The last time I fell so fast it's a miracle that some of it could last Two lives torn apart in a passionate reaction with consequences unexpected So I learned to take it slow because I can't take that blow again Never physical but like I know battery can come emotionally I might not have fully learned that lesson that'll be a confession But the way we hit it off just made me more pissed off About days weeks and months where I was reluctant as fuck To put myself out there no matter how much it could suck Time is ironic but I'm not laughing I'm gasping At the stupidity and ludicrously hesitant ways before I went away For all this talk of contact physical but not in the sense your mind is going It only took hours for those barriers to fall away And now I have to hope that what we built that day will cease to decay But I ran out of time and chances and it was time to flee Mostly to get away from me but the side I hated came along anyway And now we're back to electrifying friendship through digital networks At least I get a paycheck to keep those messages flowing Hoping you are knowing my aims I pray won't end up in dismay True you never saw the sides of me my destruction abided by But thank God I had the chance to find a new path You understood some of the parts of me less than good But if you saw me honest I think I could be understood I missed the best chance but hopefully it won't be the last But the development to my restless dreams are now dependent On text messages I'm afraid to send Deleting every word seeking the perfect phrase my mind can mend I forgot how infatuation is such an appealing reaction My mind revving up before it's time to even get up But the determined part of my swears never to give up There's always fear of failure and this situation is nothing different When I stand outside ai can at least calm my mind But secretly I'm plotting the next steps to somehow get you on my doorstep I have a fragile ego something that grows into something fanciful Caught in between blind belief and fears Im scared I will never defeat As much as I hated on the networks we try to build love upon Now I find it my only chance at getting to the end of this A part of me can see the outcome doesn't matter All these hopes and dreams are easy to scatter But I pray for something better even though the odds are slowing If I'm persistent with the system I criticized for deafening our lives I've never stood strong in all my beliefs, but that's everyone's case to my relief The things I hate on I know have to wait on When that message finally reached you what are you gonna do? I have it all planned out, I manned up and made the rounds But depending on your reaction it might turn into a frown Only time will tell if I keep up with digital persistence Are my intentions worthless banter or is there something growing That we both are feeling and knowing I know there are others countless choices and growing But I maintain a single focus that's what calms my mind the most I wish you could get these intentions by osmosis I just have to continue to try until my intentions are clear in your mind Maybe I'm ill-adjusted this wouldn't be the first time But something deep inside me wants you to be mine I'm in this for the Long haul there's no going back like Total Recall My friends tell me to cool it maybe it's not worth pushing it Life has passed me by about a million different times I'm sick of being paralyzed in wonder if what could have happened down under I've got a lot of possibilities and probabilities to calculate right now But when I stop the computation it's you who seems like the mountain I want to climb and get to know the ssence of your inner flow I've been afraid to be a full person maybe you could complete me Surviving every day is the biggest goal that has to stay But I don't need a reminder to send some lustful thoughts your way This obsession might be another hard lesson My mind works in cycles that my ilness refines Some of the compulsions obsessions and cycles Take my train off thought off the track for miles They say I have trouble approaching reality Not like psychosis but I don't see things like most of us So as I stare at a screen writing well intentioned poetry All I can hope for is that the words come out direct on the floor I never set expectations my intentions always blurry clear But can I write the message that will synchronize our minds Right now we're in first gear and I keep stalling out But once you put that clutch down it's easy to get around Let's take this into fifth gear I just need words like Shakespeare Risks I'm now willing to take because here I have no one else to relate Maybe times will change and I'll downshift our route But in the present moment climbing those gears is a concern to severe Maybe I'll get over it meet people and forget the Ritz But as of right now this growth is what I'm hunting down I have friends to guide me who expect me to rely On their advice and guidance when I get out of line But on this they said fuck it, abandon hope you Miss's I know my priorities are disorder I need to beat this present day But thoughts of the future keep me away I can't hold them at Bay Sleepless nights spend debating if my actions are creating A framework we can work with and build up a system That I've been planning in my mind, got it so well defined Tomorrow I wake up and hustle my goals practical and actionable But I'm looking for a chance to change my stance and spend some time on this Can I win you over or will life tell me "Go Fish"

[james--harrington]

House Hunt || JElla

Tagging: James Harrington & Ella Jameson When: 5/28/17 Where: Their future home. :) Notes:

Ella-05/28/2017

"Turn in here. It's got to be this one. That's the realtors car." Ella nodded toward the large tan house and  propped her sunglasses on top of her head as James parked their car in the stone driveway. "It's uglier in person." She noted, feeling unhappy with it right away. "It's 4,500 square feet of ugly."  This was their third house they'd seen that day and Ella was feeling tired, cranky and swollen and completely underwhelmed by the houses being shown to them.May 29, 2017

James-05/29/2017

"Did you say 4,500?" He looked at her in disbelief. "Why can't we look at smaller houses? Especially ones where the price is under a million. He'd been doing these with her for a couple hours. "We can always look at that house in my neighborhood. It's only two thousand square feet but the kids won't be  able to do damage for a couple years:" he tried to be optimistic but all these houses intimidated him. There was just so much to look at....

Ella-05/29/2017

"Don't worry about price -- why do you want a smaller house? So we can move once the kids are older?" Ella shook her head,"No way. I want to have space and not move again unless we want to." She looked back at the house in front of them, "should we go in this one or just nix it since it's ugly?"

James-05/29/2017

"With a smaller house you get people closer together. That's how it was growing up for me. Shit sucked with my mom but I still was there to keep an eye on her and my sister because we were so on top of one another." He knew this part would be difficult between them because they had different upbringings. He wanted her to be happy and comfortable with their home and she was the one paying everything up front until he sold his. "I guess my compromise is a decent backyard, big kitchen and a garage big enough to keep a project or two in it." James turned the key and pulled it from the ignition. "Come on. Lets look inside. What do they say? Never judge a book by it's cover. It can be the same with this place."

Ella-05/29/2017

Ella furrowed her brows,"Are you afraid you're going to lose me?" She laughed,"We can still be close even though we have a large home, babe. Trust me." The woman nodded,"that's good with me." She gave the house another look,"well fine but we'd have to remodel the entire front."

James-05/29/2017

"It's not that, El," he said leaning over to kiss her lips. "I'm just a guy who got used to a certain way of living and I'm sure there's some truth to that. I won't let those kids have a moment of privacy. They'll probably try to lock me out but I'll take down their doors," he laughed and dropped his head. "Can't you see if it'll grow on you?" He didn't think there was anything wrong with the exterior.May 30, 2017

Ella-05/30/2017

"I have a feeling in their younger years we will be the ones locking ourselves in our room begging for privacy." Ella said with a snort of laughter,"but I like your plan for when they're teenagers." Unbuckling, Ella sighed deeply,"I suppose."  At that moment the realtor came out and waved. "She better have a cheeseburger in her hand or I'm going to be double pissed." She muttered opening up her door.

James-05/30/2017

"Are you serious? Do you mean we should move the cribs to our room and turn the nursery into, I don't know, a man cave maybe?" He ran a hand through his hair and chuckled at himself, before watching the realtor. "Is it part of the house showing process to feed prospective home buyers?" James climbed out of the car and went around to the front, waiting for her to join him.

Ella-05/30/2017

"Hey if this place doesn't have room for a nursery and a man room, then it's really out of the running."  Ella studied the women. She was young and had a figure like Ella once did. "It should be if they're very pregnant." She grinned over at James to show she kidding. Kind of. Ella got out and joined James, taking hold of his hand. The realtor, Rachel, smiled and welcomed them. "First impressions?!" Ella made a face. "Hideous. But I've been told not to judge a book by its cover. Plus isn't this a little too mediterranean  for you J? I thought we wanted a craftsman style?"

James-05/30/2017

"Oh. Yes. Sorry. Please forgive me. I forgot you've got your eye on a place that's half the size of a palace." He made a joke about it because part of him wasn't sure about a big house. He understood they'd need the room but it was an adjustment for him. One of the many he's been through in the last few months. James held Ella's hand and he listened to her speak and his eyes rounded, looking at her. "I do want that. But I do want to look at the house types of houses that Rachel has to show."

Ella-05/30/2017

It was funny James thought it was so big because to Ella it seemed modest. Certainly nothing to write home about. Ella had grown up with knowing both sides of the track but had grown accustomed to a lavish lifestyle. Ella gave a dramatic, relenting sigh at James and Rachel led them into the house listing off everything the place had to offer. "It looks dated." Ella commented. "It's only six years old." Rachel said thumbing through its listing. "Still looks dated." She grumbled. Ella pointed her manicured toe at the carpet,"this definitely has to go. And the kitchen is a total gut job, huh baby?"May 31, 2017

James-05/31/2017

Just like the other houses James felt completely flabbergasted at how she went about everything. The house looked fine to him. How was it dated exactly? Then he wondered if she thought his house looked like it needed a complete remodel. He didn't say anything because he knew he had to watch his words in front of the realtor. James, instead, nodded his head and went to look for the garage, which should be near the kitchen. That's how it was with the the places he looked at before he bought his bungalow.

Ella-05/31/2017

Ella traipsed into the kitchen as she watched J go off, her nose scrunched,"the appliances are nice but I hate the color of the granite." A few more pokes and Ella went to go find James when the realtor told her where the garage was. She opened the door and peeked her head in,"Hey. How's the garage rate?"

James-05/31/2017

There was a work bench in the garage and James took an immediate shine to it. He knew not to get his hopes up when it came to this house but he thought he should make the most of it. That was until the door opened and he saw his very pregnant girlfriend there. "It's up there," he said with a smile. When it came to him it didn't take a lot to please the guy. "Not that I should get my heart set on it. Something tells me you'll find at least another twenty things wrong with this house even before we make it to the second floor."

Ella-05/31/2017

"Yeah? You like it?" Ella asked, with a small grin, happy to see James in his element. "The kitchen is --" the woman trailed off at James' comment, her brows pulling together. "Um, wow, okay. Yeah. Maybe I will. I have a particular taste and this place isn't it."  She felt herself getting defensive.

James-05/31/2017

He noticed her stance and how she responded to him and he should apologize. James went to the door, where she stood, and laid his hands on her arms. "Baby. I want you happy. And I shouldn't have insisted on us looking into this house when you were turned off by it from the get go."

Ella-05/31/2017

Ella shimmied out of his grasp, ignoring the first part of what he said, "No, you shouldn't have and then to make that comment? That was rude, J, like I'm some spoiled brat."  Ella turned, her belly leading the way,"I'll meet you in the car." She knew she was pouting but her hungry and tired self didn't want to waste any more time on a house she didn't love.June 1, 2017

James-06/01/2017

And there she went. James was left in the garage and he was certain he had to tell Rachel this house wasn't for them; which he knew was obvious but still placed him in an awkward position. James found her in the living room, on her phone, and he broke the news about not exactly feeling this house. She said she had a couple more to show them and James wanted to groan. Instead he continued to be his charming self and said to put a pin in it to see if Ella wanted to look at more. He left and went to his car, climbing in and dropping his forearms atop of the steering wheel. "I'm not saying you're a spoiled brat, El. You want a house that feels like home and that wasn't it for you," James sat back. "You want to call it a day or keep going? She has more to show."

Ella-06/01/2017

Sitting with her arms crossed over her belly, Ella looked over when James got in. She nodded, feeling herself soften slightly,"Exactly. I knew by just seeing the outside of this one it wasn't for us. Sorry if that's weird or whatever." Ella sighed, "we should at least see one more today. We're low on time before I won't be able to scoot around so easily." Which was a scary thought in and of its self with how big she already was. As if on queue the babies started moving and Ella made a face as some kind of limb jabbed at her ribs. Rachel came out then, "the next place is only five minutes away, you wanna check it out?" Ella nodded vigorously, ignoring the pain, "yeah, lets go."

James-06/01/2017

Was he content with so little? All the things she pointed out in this house, and and the one before, didn't register to him and he thought, for a moment, that they'd not get a new place and have to stay in his house until the babies were in pre-school. That idea amused him because it'd never happen. El would make sure of it. "Let's hope this next one has a nicer outside," he said, taking her hand to kiss before smirking. James pulled from the spot and followed Rachel to the next house.

Ella-06/01/2017

The way he handled Ella calmed her quickly. Even his joke about the outside, "Yeah yeah yeah." She said putting her sunglasses back on, "let's hope." Rachel was right, he drive was short but the neighborhood was pristine and the houses all with character and very well kept. "This looks nice." Ella commented, noting that they were all craftsman style. She didn't mind an older home as long as it was remodeled.  She happen to like the charm that came with the older homes of this particular style. The realtors car stopped in front of a large updated looking home.  There was a porch and two car garage attached to one side and a small sweet front yard. "First impressions?" Ella asked to J.

James-06/01/2017

The house looked like the type you find in front of a home catelogue. Could he see himself living in such a place? Twenty years ago he thought he'd never get out from under his mother's roof and now here he was, next to a woman he loved and who was very pregnant with their twins. Life was funny that way. "I think it's nice. I can picture us playing with the kids in the yard and the garage is the right size." He hoped it had a workbench inside.. "It's still too big for me but I think anything bigger than your townhouse too big." he said with a chuckle. "What about you?"

Ella-06/01/2017

Ella smiled at the thought, surprised she could see the same thing. "Nah, it's not too big.. I think it looks perfect." Her whole demeanor changed,"I can't wait to see the inside!" Once the cars were parked they met Rachel on the front lawn who went over the details of the five bedroom, four and half bath, fully updated home. "Oh! We will have a room for guests - thats great! " Ella complimented, immediately thinking of her sister. The woman noted the swing on the porch ,"does that stay? I want it to stay." She looked up at J, "you do too, right baby?"

James-06/01/2017

I can see why James always wants to touch it and kiss itJames walked beside El, his hands stuffed into his pockets and it was as if he saw a complete tranformation; compared to the other home they visited. He removed a hand and wrapped his arm around her shoulders to pull his girl close and kiss her temple. "We want it to stay," he told Rachel and went to walk into the house, taking Ella's hand. That was a lot of rooms and bathrooms. He never lived in anything with more than three rooms and one bathroom. Who was to clean all of this? Yet he figured El had that all planned out. "What's the square footage?" He asked, curious about this.June 2, 2017

Ella-06/02/2017

Beaming up at James, Ella was so pleased he agreed with her. She let him take her hand and followed him into the house where they were met with the most beautiful entry way. Built in shelves lined the way into an open living room and to a large staircase. Everything was bright and open. "What was it? Like 46- 4400 something like that I think." Ella was completely enamored. "Oh, J, look at that fire place!"

James-06/02/2017

James let out a low whistle but was taken out of it when Ella pointed out the fireplace. That was one item he never had growing up. They had a small heater that they tossed coal into, but living in California you never really needed one. He went to it and laid a hand on the mantle. He unintentionally had been keeping himself from getting excited about the houses they looked at; mainly due to how large and expensive they were, but Ella's excitement rubbed off on him. He turned to look at her but his eyes set on the large kitchen. Where he went to on his own.

Ella-06/02/2017

When James joined Ella couldn't help but think of how their babies stockings would look hanging from it and how she'd have their decorator put it together. She was about to say something about it when James wandered off and Ella smiled to herself knowing the large gleaming white cabinet kitchen and monster eat at island was awaiting. She followed behind him after a beat, gasping pleasantly when she saw the view to the fenced in back yard. A set of two French doors off the back opened into a wide patio and a perfectly groomed back yard. "This property couldn't be any prettier." Rachel commented, "and there is nothing to do update wise unless it's preference."  Ella beamed at J,"kitchens pretty."

James-06/02/2017

He was in his own world, imagining the type of meals he could prepare in here. Everything was in pristine condition and he had his sights on the gas range. It was the type he'd seen them use on the cooking shows he watched and James realized El said something to him. "Huh?" he started and he felt he heard the word kitchen in there and smiled with a head nod. "What are they asking for this house?" He braced himself for the price tag. He knew Ella would be fine with it but for him he would prefer to put that money into savings for their kids' college funds.

Ella-06/02/2017

Rachel doubled checked her papers, "It's listed at 1.6 and it just hit the market three days ago and will fly out of here. We have to bite on this one fast if  you want it." Ella clasped her hands together, "Oh! Thats not terrible." she said brightly. That meant Ella could pay cash for the house. "Well, I think we should look upstairs before we commit, but this home is stunning. Nice job." she gave a nod of approval and smiled at James, "Wanna go check out the master, baby?"

James-06/02/2017

"1.6?" his eyes rounded. He knew it cleared a million but not that much and he stared at how casual Ella was with this. Words disappeared from his vocabulary and he brought his attention to his girl when she asked the question. Did this place have gold pipes? Fuck. "Uh. Yeah. Let's-" his words were going slow because his brain was trying to wrap around this, "check it out." he chuckled. "Fuck." he mouthed out while he looked down, hoping they didn't catch his curse word.

Ella-06/02/2017

"I'll give you guys a minute and meet you in the bonus room that's a must see!" Rachel said pulling out her phone. "Take your time." Ella started for the staircase, taking James hand, "Oh my god, J, I'm in love. What a big difference from the last place right?" Ella had grown up in a house almost twice this size once her mom remarried. Their taste had been almost sterile and museum like and while Ella loved a big home she vowed to make her future home feel warm and comfortable; quite the contrast to her current town house but she knew her babies deserved it. Ella looked up at James, "Do you not love it? You're quiet..."

James-06/02/2017

"I-I like it, El. The price left me stunned," he said as soon as it was the two of them. "You're gonna have to give me a minute here, babe. It's one thing to look at these expensive houses but to dish the money out for one." he shook his head, still in awe. James looked at the stairs and then around the entry. He could see things happening here. That was evident and he supposed that, with time, he'd get used to being in a house like this. Even seeing it as his home. He placed his hands on either sides of Ella's face and brought her forehead to his lips. "All of this will grow on me. I promise. I'm happy when you're happy and I can tell you're ready to pop from how excited you are to get started on this place."

Ella-06/02/2017

"I know, its a big price tag, but we can definitely afford it, baby. You dont need to stress." Ella stepped closer to him, sliding her arms around his waist. " lets hope I don't pop." she grinned. " But I think this house does make me happy.  At least so far. It feels... right. Is that weird? Is that just my hormones talking?"

James-06/02/2017

She was so sure about this and James knew she was. Ella wasn't the type to go into something unless she was 100% about it and he needed to trust her. Shit. There were so many changes taking place in his life and it felt surreal to be doing this. As if this was part of some crazy dream. "Not your hormones, sexy," he said, giving her that smile she loved. "Just your heart. You see a future here and I can, too."June 3, 2017

Ella-06/03/2017

Ella melted when he smiled and it took away any doubt she had. After giving him a lingering kiss, she nodded toward the upstairs,"C'mon, lets go see where the nursery could be." Hand in hand they walked up to the second floor and peeked into the bedrooms and bathrooms and it was one of the last ones before the master that Ella opened and cooed. "Aw, J,"she swallowed feeling herself get emotional, " this  would be it, its close to us and bright and there's room for two cribs.."

James-06/03/2017

Two cribs. He knew they were essentally to have two of everythng soon and James noticed the sheen in her eyes. He kept her close and kissed her temple, then cheek. They would be parents in no time and in a new home with new responsiblities and new...well, everything. Everything was essentially new to him other than his life at the garage. But for El, everything was changing, including where she set her career roots after she was ready to return to work. "This is perfect, babe," he said, voice deep and maybe with a hint of emotional as well. "I can see you going crazy in here with all those ideas from that one site you look at a lot."

Ella-06/03/2017

Ella nodded,"Pinterest." She cried happily, swiping at her eyes. This made everything feel so real and she only hoped that they would get this house and be able to make it their first home together. Ella wrapped her arms around J the best she could and soaked in the moment for a quiet minute. "Alright, lets go check out the master and then go talk to Rachel?"

James-06/03/2017

"I hope the walls are thick in the master. Don't want our kids to be traumatized about the noises that come from mommy and daddy's room," he said as he slid his hand onto her ass and gave it a gentle squeeze. "So this is the place? The one where we're going to raise our family and grow old in?"

Ella-06/03/2017

"James!" Ella laughed, "oh my god." She rested her head on his firm chest, "I --I think so. I loved it the moment I saw it. But if you have any reservations we can talk about it. But,I ," she grinned besotted, "I kind of love it."

James-06/03/2017

"I'm only stating the obvious, El. Actually I hope these windows are thick too. Airplane glass thick. All the neighbors will know just how often we go at it," he was merely joking with her but he liked the way she got whenever he did that. James, walked into the master and even though he stood in the room his eyes were on the large bathroom to the side of it. "You can fit a family in there," he said. Then, remembering her question he said, "Nope. The only thing with me is the size and price. But that's more on me than anything."

Ella-06/03/2017

Ella blushed, "J! We are not going to be those neighbors!" She laughed, flustered. Maybe they would be. The master was big and roomy and while the bathroom was stunning, the his and her closet was a show stopper. Almost as big as the one Ella had currently. She smirked, pleased. She met J back in the bathroom and hooked her fingers in the hem of his jeans, playfully walking him against the vanity. "I love this. Imagine all the good sex we can have in that tub." She grinned, leaning up and capturing his bottom lip with her teeth.June 4, 2017

James-06/04/2017

"If I start imagining these things then we're going to put Rachel in a very awkward position downstairs," He said, feeling her kiss on his lips while his fingers skimmed the sides of her dress. James turned around to see what he was leaning against and turned back with a chuckle. "Better be careful, El. You know what happens when we get near a counter."

Ella-06/04/2017

Ella nodded, biting down on her own lip now, then,"I do know.." Her hand traveled down to the front of his pants where she could feel his bulge on the other side. "We only need a few minutes.." With her other hand she traced the outline of his belt.

James-06/04/2017

Ella seemed pretty deadset on this house so, technically, it was theirs now and they able to do whatever they wanted in here. James looked down at what her hands were up to and he found himself pressing into the palm of her hand. "Few minutes? Looking for a quickie then?" Since she was touching him, he was going to do the same. James completely ignored the wide open doors and focused more on lifting the skirt of her dress up so he could hook the sides of her panties to pull down.

Ella-06/04/2017

"Well, I don't want to make her too suspicious." Ella smirked, starting to undo his belt. "But we have to make sure these counters work for us if we're going to buy the place right?"  She closed the space between them as much as she could with the belly between them and kissed J hungrily . Quickly she worked on his pants, undoing the button and pulling down the zipper so she could slip her hand down the front of his boxers to get him hard.

James-06/04/2017

There wasn't a whole lot of time and James felt her panties drop away from his fingers. "Would it be a deal breaker if they don't live up to our expectations?" he asked, moving his hands to her hips and moving himself away from the vanity to turn them around so he could pop Ella onto it.  If he were without a shirt he imagined Ella would have loved the look of his muscles in his arms as he hoisted her up. "Get me going again," he said, wanting her hand back on his cock. His fingers went underneath her thighs and he lured her closer to the edge so he could push into her as soon as he was ready.

Ella-06/04/2017

As soon as Ella felt her underwear hit the ground she stepped out of them,"We would have to renovate." She joked, holding on to his shoulders as he sat her on the counter. She shimmied her dress up a bit so she could spread her legs for him so he would easily fit between them. Ellas hand wrapped around his length and she pumped him the way she knew he liked while she leaned in to nip and suck at his neck as she did.June 5, 2017

James-06/05/2017

It was a good thing he didn't need much in the way of a warm up, not when she was touching him and ready to go. James took another step forward, breathing heavily through his parted lips, and he took her hand away to place on his shoulder. His attention dropped and watched as he took himself in hand to rock his hips forward enough to feel the press of her opening. He wanted to play with her, get her to that level of arousal before going in but when something needed to be done quick...So he pushed forward, still going slow and returning his eyes to hers. He couldn't believe they were doing this. But fuck, it was hot.

Ella-06/05/2017

Ellas fingers dug into his shoulders as she felt James sink into her with ease. Looking at each other as he did, turned her on ever more and she whimpered as James came to a hilt inside of her. He could fill her up with inches of himself to spare. Ellas legs wrapped around him, keeping him nice and close."fuck." She muttered, starting to roll her hips against him.June 6, 2017

James-06/06/2017

"Why do I feel like this will be that bathroom incident all over again? The one from your Christmas party," he could smell her perfume and feel the soft strands of her hair brush against his cheek as he watched their bodies move together. "If it is then Rachel is in for quite the show," James' fingers sunk into the skin of her ass as he kept her planted on the edge of the counter.

Ella-06/06/2017

The thought of that made Ella pause for a moment but she quickly recovered as she focused on the pleasure at hand. Not that the bathroom incident had been bad but the repercussions certainly had been. Ella breathed into James' shoulder; the harder they went the harder she breathed, starting to bite at it, to keep from moaning too loudly.

James-06/06/2017

There was the pressure of her teeth, lightly padded by his shirt but not by much. James could hear her breathing around the bite and as much as he shouldn't he decided to add something more to drive El wild. His hand went up and cupped her breast, kissing at her neck and the cheek. He kept going until their mouths connected and James rubbed at the front of her blouse; honing in on her nipple to tease it through the fabric.

Ella-06/06/2017

"Jesus," she breathed, her breathing getting more sporadic as James fondled her ever growing breast. She wanted to feel more of him too; it was only fair after all. Ella moved her hand to his hips and dragged them up under shirt, running them over every part of him she could reach. She loved how J knew how to turn her on and how he knew all the curves of her body that even clothed he could  hone in on the exact spots she needed to be touched.  She moaned into his ear to let him know how much she liked it.

James-06/06/2017

James was used to them doing this in the comfort of one of their homes and, in a way, this was theirs as soon as Ella paid for it, but he found himself getting a little ahead of himself by whisper, "Fuck, baby.  You get me so hard," The words pressed into her shoulder before kissing at the fabric. He brought his scruffy chin across until he settled into the crook of her neck. He needed to up his game to get them to their points quick. This wasn't something they wanted to get caught doing. Or was it...?

Ella-06/06/2017

One thing was for sure, everything was more sensitive now that she was pregnant which meant quicker arousal and more intense orgasms. Ella was getting there and reveling in his words and touch; her hands made there way up to his hair where she entangled her fingers in it and pulled on it helplessly. "Harder, harder," she begged, her brows knitting together.June 7, 2017

James-06/07/2017

"Babe," he said as he tried to not talk into her skin but he was panting so hard that he found it hard to move from the spot, "I go any harder then that realtor will hear you," he said but he found himself caving seconds later because fuck, he couldn't deny giving her what she wanted. James' eyes pressed shut for a moment as he thrusted firmly into her, feeling their bodies press while his cock tried to get his woman to feel all the pleasure she'd been craving. Him too, because damn he loved whenever they did this.

Ella-06/07/2017

Ella was about to pout but then in true James fashion he gave her what she asked for. She whimpered loudly as her body bounced up and down on the cold granite from the thrusting of his cock. Now he was hitting her spot and with every movement she got closer and closer until finally the heat in her core couldn't take it any more and she felt herself come undone around James. She leaned into him, her nails digging into his muscular shoulders, her head back, eyes shut as she moaned through her climax forgetting in the moment where they were.

James-06/07/2017

Shortly after Ella's moan graced his ears, James joined her. His own sounds were muffled by her neck and he gave her a couple passionate thrusts before groaning her name and a couple of swears into her perfumed skin. As he kissed her, trying to chase away the redness his beard left in its wake, he noticed something move in the bathroom's mirror. Something from the bedroom but it was gone before he could turn to look. "Shit. I think Rachel saw us," The chuckle that came from him surprised James and he dropped his forehead to her shoulder. "Suppose we better tell her we'll take it."

Ella-06/07/2017

Hearing James join in made Ella give all her energy into their orgasms. As she felt him fill her up she swore under her breath at how amazing he always felt. She was basking in the feeling of him pulsating inside of her, her head pressing onto his chest when James mentioned Rachel might of caught them. "What?!" She hissed, her head popping up. "Seriously?"she looked around J but no one was there. "Jesus." She grumbled, trying to keep the panicked laughter out of her voice. Ella motioned to his dick, "Out! Out! We have to get down stairs." Ella smoothed at her hair, trying to regain composure.June 8, 2017

James-06/08/2017

Things needed to go fast and James pulled out, finding the sensation odd as he already started to soften a little and she was still slick with everything. He ducked to grab her panties before working on himself. "Guess we're the ones to give her a showing instead of the other way around," He found humor in this even though Ella looked a little disheveled from what happened.

Ella-06/08/2017

Sliding off the counter, Ella took her panties from him  and carefully put them back on; slower than normal with her balance being off a bit. "J.." Ella groaned at his joke, a small smile playing on her lips. "She probably thinks we're two horn dogs now and is afraid to work with us." She pulled her dress back down over her ass and smoothed the front, giving herself a once over in the bathroom mirror. "God, I look like I was just fucked." She muttered.  "C'mon."

James-06/08/2017

James was following her, adding a little extra to his step because he felt good. Not the whole getting caught thing but because he they unexpectedly had sex and it was clear as day he pleased his woman. They went down the stairs and he took a moment to enjoy this. This would be their house soon and he will be going up and down these for the next how many years he had left on this Earth.

Ella-06/08/2017

Ella tried to pull it together the best she could. She walked with authority in her Louboutins even though her wet panties were a reminder of what just transpired. Ella spotted Rachel in the kitchen and cleared her throat before she approached her. Still not sure if she had been caught Ella tried and play it off casually. "Well, we really like it. We want to make a full priced offer."

James-06/08/2017

When he reached the bottom of the landing, James followed Ella into the kitchen and stood nearby with his hands on his hips; eyes on the cabinents and appliances. He could see a lot happening in this one room of the house. He knew that he'd be the one manning the stove for a majority of their meals but that was fine with him. He enjoyed it. It still blew his mind to hear her say that they'd go for the full price one. He was used to people who wanted to haggle but she knew what she liked.

Ella-06/08/2017

Rachel didn't make eye contact with Ella at first, as she seemingly aimlessly flipped through papers. However at Ellas offer her whole face brightened, "Oh! That's-- that's wonderful! I'll draw up the paperwork right away!" Rachel looked between Ella and James smiling  as if to confirm the decision and Ella noticed Rachel's eyes leaving their site line of James face and drifting down to his crotch Ella was about to get huffy when she realized why; James white boxers were poking through as his fly was completely open. It was damn well surprising that James wasn't catching a breeze on the base of his cock. Rachel was trying hard to focus on her phone now and listing the next steps and Ella tried to get J's attention with her eyes.

James-06/08/2017

His hand went to push his hair behind an ear and he bent to look at the cabinents to see how deep they went. James pictured fitting his cookware in there and when he stood back up he looked to Ella with a smile, but there was something off with the way she looked at him. He cocked his head to the side, raising an eyebrow as he mouthed out "What?" The smile on his face remained but it wasn't as big as before.

Ella-06/08/2017

"So I'll tell them you'll put in a 1.6 all cash offer right?" Rachel asked, still not looking up. Ella nodded, eyes still glued on James. "Yup." Ellas eyes drifted to his crotch once she had his attention.  Making a face and motioning to it with her head she wondered if J would get it. If she had to she would pull it up herself. Clearly their plans of being stealthy were all shot to hell. She wondered what they would do once they had two tiny people living with them all the time!June 9, 2017

James-06/09/2017

What the hell was she going on about his brows together as he was about to ask what again but then he followed her eyes and realized what was going on and James noticed that both of them had their eyes on his crotch and his clearly visible boxers. Hopefully that was all that was visible. He turned and zipped up, moving to behind the counter to just cover everything the waist down from any further attention.

Ella-06/09/2017

Ella closed her eyes, giving a small shake of her head and James zipped up his pants if for nothing than being slightly embarrassed. Oh well, Ella thought, she was in love and horny as hell almost consistently with this pregnancy so Rachel would have to deal. At that moment Rachel's phone rang and she stepped into the other room to take it. Ellas face broke into a smile "you think you could have put your dick away?!" She hissed, starting to laugh.

James-06/09/2017

When it was the two of them he kept to the counter. "I didn't realize he was doing one of those encore performances," he said while doing his best not to laugh.  "Think she was wondering how good I am?" This question came out before he caught it and James hoped that it wouldn't be met with a hit to the arm or something. It was all said as a joke anyway. "Hopefully she's too distracted by the fact you're paying full for this place. Seeing my cock was just the icing on the cake for her." Now he laughed because it was honestly too ridiculous.

Ella-06/09/2017

"James David Harrington!" Ella scolded, feigning shock, "It doesn't matter if she's wondering how good you are because your cock only has one pussy to please from here on out." She gave him a pointed look. Regarding the last thing, Ella jutted out her chin, "she should be so lucky. But let's hope she feels that way and doesn't tack on some crazy new closing fees." She gave a roll of her eyes.

James-06/09/2017

He couldn't remember the last time he heard his full name said in such a way. And, for a moment, he realized his mother never was the scolding type and Ella possibly was the first. Maybe. He laughed and held his hands up, "I know it belongs to you but it could've livened her day. Hell. She has a story to tell now to her friends," James didn't know how closing costs worked or if it could be hiked up. "What will you do if there's a higher amount?"June 10, 2017

Ella-06/10/2017

Ella gave a nod in agreement, "Damn right its mine. And I'm sure it livened up her day; it always does that for me. She just better not get any ideas..." walking closer to James, Ella wrapped her arms around his neck ,"I was teasing babe, if it's more it's fine. Please don't stress about this okay?"  Ella pecked his lips.June 12, 2017

James-06/12/2017

"She's gonna have ideas. She did see how I was given it to you upstairs," His hands went to her hips and he placed his thumbs partially on her growing belly. There was an obvious gap between them but it didn't stop him from kissing her. "I'll try not to. My thing is wrapping my head around that price tag. I'll get over it."

Ella-06/12/2017

A pout crossed Ellas face; she hated thinking of J with anyone else - especially since she didn't feel as attractive as usual.  She felt An anger that was unwarranted toward Rachel as if she was trying to start something by seeing her and James have sex. Ella tried to push it aside, "It'll be great. " she assured him. "We won't have a mortgage and that will feel really good."

James-06/12/2017

Why was she giving him that expression that always made him think he was denying her something she clearly wanted? Or did he say something that she didn't like? "I never been without a mortgage payment," he mused. "I do need to pay my part as soon as my house sells."

Ella-06/12/2017

"It's no rush, we can just put that money into the twins education fund or something. I'm really not fussed." It was sometimes hard for Ella to really relay how money was not a big deal to her. Her back account would allow her to buy this house ten fold but she knew James wasn't used to that and tried to see it from his perspective. Rachel came back in; clearing her throat loudly, and  wearing a big smile on her face. "I just got off the phone with the seller;they love your offer. Barring no complications - you guys have got yourself the house!"

James-06/12/2017

"No shit?" He said to Rachel, as if he didn't believe her. Of course they accepted. It was the full offer. James expected some type of back and forth, like he has with his own house but this was smooth sailing. Wow. He looked at Ella and the the kitchen. They got a place and it took close to no time. Which was fortunate for him because he worried they'd go through many and she would hate different things about them.

Ella-06/12/2017

Ella's eyebrows raised, "Really?" She sounded as surprised as J. This seemed too perfect. Rachel explained the next steps and getting the inspection taken care of but ella was hardly paying attention. Her eyes met James' and she broke out into a large smile, "Oh my God? Did we seriously just get a house?"June 13, 2017

James-06/13/2017

James didn't expect Ella's surprise and he laughed. "Looks like it, babe." He went to her and wrapped his arms around her body, kissing the crook of her neck as he held her backside close to his front. "We're getting everything in place to start our family."

Ella-06/13/2017

Ella knew there wouldn't be anyway someone would turn down a cash offer of that caliber but it still felt surreal. "This is crazy." She mused shaking her head and dabbing at her eyes that had started to water. "I'm so excited, baby."

James-06/13/2017

When the tears showed, which was hard for James to see but the action of touching the corners of her eye and he went around. He was about to ask Rachel if they could have a moment but the woman took a step away from the kitchen, ear to the phone and he laid all his attention on El. "I am, too. I can fit half of my house on this bottom floor alone," he said with a joke before kissing at her forehead. "When do you want to start the moving?"

Ella-06/13/2017

Ella looked up at James quiet for a minute and then burst into tears suddenly unable to contain them. "Is this the right one? What if we're wrong? What if the babies don't like it?" She wasn't really sure where the tears came from but this seemed to happen a lot lately. "And I can't pack because I'm too fat and we can't have movers touch all our stuff because of germs and do you think my Range Rover will fit in the garage?" She cried, tears pouring down her face.

James-06/13/2017

James expected more tears, but not with the fear and anxiety that accompanied it. He brought her in as close as he could and kissed her forehead once again. "Baby, we'll get the moving figured out. Your car will have no problem fitting in the garage and the babies will love the house because they'll have the best memories in this place." He wanted to bring her back to the happy she felt before. "You're not fat. You have two very important people in here and you're making sure their cared for."June 14, 2017

Ella-06/14/2017

Ella sniffled as she listened. "And you like it for sure? I don't want you to hate it and then hate me for making you live here and then the babies hate me too.." the tears started again and it still shocked Ella how her mood shifted so drastically from one moment to another. It was one thing she didn't particularly like as  she was used to always being sure and confident and steady.

James-06/14/2017

"Yes, I'm sure. I'm not crazy about how expensive it is but I know this is about the home and not the figure. This" he waved a hand around at the house, "is our home. I saw how your eyes lit up and I can imagine our family here," he returned his hand to her waist and ducked his head just enough to catch her eye. "Besides we already christened the bathroom and we should see about doing that in every room of the house before the babies are here," he said in hopes he'd get a smile from her.

Ella-06/14/2017

Holding on to his arms while he talked, Ella could feel herself calming down. She had felt like this was home the moment they pulled up to it. That had to count for something. She nodded,"You're right," she agreed in a small voice. Then laughed softly, sniffling a bit, "There are a lot of rooms..."

James-06/14/2017

"And I may not have the same amount of stamina I did when I was a eighteen but I'll manage to keep up with you so that we hit every room. And the backyard. Garage will have to wait until we have your Range Rover." He kissed her, pressing their forheads together. With a breathy, deep voice he asked, "Are you doing better?"

Ella-06/14/2017

James had been more than accommodating of Ellas rampant pregnancy sex drive. She couldn't get enough  and  no matter what time of day J let her have her way; including her strange desire to give him daily six am blowjobs. A small hiccup escaped as Ella got steadied back out and she nodded again. "Yea, I'm better." She kissed him back, "thank you."

James-06/14/2017

"Good because this is a good thing that happened and we should celebrate," he waited for her to pull away just enough before he swooped in to kiss her lips; tasting faint saltiness from her tears. "I'll let you dress me in one of those suits and we can go to a nice restaurant. I know how much you love me in a suit."

Ella-06/14/2017

"You will?" Ella asked brightly. She struggled not to get emotional again. "I love you. So much." She couldn't help gush.June 15, 2017

James-06/15/2017

"As long as I'm guaranteed this smile, I'll do anything," he said honestly. The man was smitten by her. It was a truth he realized long before. "Should we tell Rachel we're decent? She's probably loitering about waiting on us." He figured they may need to go to an office next to do all the necessary paperwork.

Ella-06/15/2017

"Wait wait." Ella said, holding tight to his arm for an extra moment. "One more kiss." Popping up on her tip toes Ella leaned in and kissed his soft lips that were lined by his scratchy blonde whiskers of his beard. She could kiss him a million times a day and it still wouldn't be enough. Gently pulling away and offering him the smile that he seemed to love so much she gave a nod,"Alright, now let's go find Rachel."

#//i'll erase time/date stamp later #para: ella

[brainstormingben-blog]

Failing

This failure log was something that I was really torn on. I failed to maintain this log because I forgot to. It was only until I began working on my process memo that I realized that I needed to have one for my final portfolio. I considered making one that looked legitimate, I found that to not only be dishonest, but also contradictory. What good would this log be if I wasn’t honestly acknowledging my failures? Since it will be tough to recall every single failure I had, I am going to include some of the bigger failures from earlier this semester, as well as smaller recent failures.

Some of My Not So Epic Failures

-So as no surprise, the first failure I will discuss is not creating this log when I was supposed to.

Predicted Failure

Teach Back

Our Teach Back certainly didn’t go nearly as well as I had wished. While we didn’t receive a poor score, I just didn’t feel good about the quality of my work. We put the project off until the night before, which ended up being a serious problem because my flight from New York was delayed 3 hours, resulting in a late night meeting in King. The failure in this scenario was not the letter grade received, but rather the fact that we failed to have a plan that gave our team a sufficient amount of time to put forth our best foot forward. This falls under the predicted failure domain because we got a lot out of this experience. This experience in many ways was a wake up call for our group. Seeing how winging it will not cut it, resulted in our team staying ahead of the eight ball on the remaining projects during BQ.

Version Failure

Pitchbox

When I volunteered to be our team’s representative for the pitchbox I had no plan for how I wanted to express our idea. The first go was certainly rough as I nervously summarized our idea, afraid of the team’s criticism. The team then asked questions and gave some feedback which allowed me to reflect on how I could’ve presented this better. As I gave pitch after pitch to the following groups, I was able to make adjustments along the way, ultimately resulting in a more confident and compelling pitch. My experience pitching our idea many consecutive times and receiving questions and feedback allowed me to see where I failed. I was able to make small incremental improvements each go around, ultimately resulting in a strong final pitch.

Common Failure

My Alarm

I’m still sour about this. After a late Tuesday night in Farmer with my team, I got back to my room like an exhausted zombie and set my alarm for 7:30 PM instead of 7:30 AM. I woke up to a call from my teammate Jack at 8:35, and I knew right away that I was in for a rough morning. I raced to my BUS 104 lab arriving just before 8:50. I apologized to my instructor and she was very understanding, but I received a poor grade on the assignment since I missed the instructions at the beginning of the lab. Since this, I have eliminated all set alarm times past 11:30 AM to prevent this from happening again.

Abject Failure

My Letter

One of the most exciting parts of this semester has been bringing back the Alpha Chapter of Sigma Chi to Miami. We were kicked off a bunch of years ago because of hazing and other horrible occurrences. After a long wait our national headquarters selected a group of men who can truly live the fraternity’s values, without sacrificing their individuality or morals. Prior to initiation we had to read a letter in front of many of our alumni, describing what we would do for the betterment of our chapter. Embarrassingly, I accidentally threw out this letter while I was cleaning my room of papers from the first semester. When called upon I explained my situation, and even though they weren’t explicitly upset, I was disappointed because I felt like I let down myself and my brothers.

Discouraged Failure

The Barn

Since all of the Sandler boys are now in college, my parents decided to downsize to a smaller home. The house that we are moving into is a colonial with multiple barns on the property, some of which need work. Originally we were planning on hiring builders to do this, but I asked if they would let me do it since I love these types of projects. They wanted me to look into how much time would go into this and gave me a week to decide if I really wanted to go through with it. I spent less than 20 minutes doing internet searches and found that even for an expert this would be a long tough project. That day I called my parents and told them I didn’t want to do it. Since then they have a hired a company to do the renovation. I can’t express how much I regret this. I feel like I am such a lazy person for not doing something that I love just because it would be tough. I was very stressed that week from other school work which could have influenced my decision not to take on the project, and I was unable to make a level headed decision on this. My regret in the weeks to follow lead me to starting a google doc filled with outdoor furniture that I plan on making during the summer, including a large picnic table and metal chairs to go around a fire pit.

Glorious Failure

Jeopardy

On the last day of class we played two epic rounds of Creativity Jeopardy. For some reason I was feeling especially energetic and competitive, perhaps I was just too into it. At first our team (Team Eggplant) was passively going after questions, but as the other teams started to get far ahead of us, it took it upon myself to put us back in the game. I started aggressively answering questions, and in many cases I answered these incorrectly. After the first round we were in the dark with a negative score, but we quickly rebounded back into the light during the early stages of the second game. Team Eggplant began to see lots of success from our aggressive style and upon the final Jeopardy we waged all of our points as a last ditch effort to come in first place. We answered the question incorrectly, extinguishing our fire that was our impressive comeback.

Learning Failures

All of the above, and really and failure in general is a learning failure. Different failures can vary in severity, yet all failures result in some lesson learned. In class we were told that failure is the condiment that gives success its flavor. This really resonated with me because when I felt the pain of failing it was tough for me to see any immediate upside. Every single success that I have had, minor or major, wouldn’t be possible without past failures.