#sometimes you can get a bunch of power and just choose not to use it | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

sirfrogsworth · 5 months

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I posted the below on my Facebook. I am secretly trying to head things off at the pass. Every time people see pictures of me out and about, they think I have been magically cured or my health status has improved. And I know going to Florida is going to give people that impression.

But also, I just wish a few of my relatives could understand my situation better. And why I didn't come to Christmas. And why I might try to come to Christmas now.

I guess I'll see how this goes.

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One of the biggest struggles I've had my entire adult life is explaining why I appear fine whenever people see me. I say I am very sick and bed-bound and then they see me and I am out of bed and talking and joking and... a normal healthy person.

What many don't realize is I am making a choice.

A choice to get sick.

I can use up all my energy in a short time frame to accomplish a difficult chore or entertain a friend or go to a doctor, but that is going to have a consequence.

The more I do, the more severe the consequence.

In the ME/CFS world this is called "post-exertional malaise." (for those interested, you can read more about it here: https://rthm.com/art.../what-is-post-exertional-malaise-pem/ )

Imagine every time you wanted to do something, you were *choosing* to get the flu.

Take a walk, get the flu.

Exercise, get the flu.

Spend a night out with friends, get the flu.

And you might be thinking, "Okay, it can't be as bad as the flu. I've had the flu and the flu sucks. No one would choose that."

I may not get the nasty respiratory symptoms, but everything else is pretty much the same. Crippling fatigue, horrible aches, and the loss of the will to do much of anything. Sometimes it is much worse than the flu. Some people don't know how much being this exhausted can hurt. They have never used up enough energy that their body is unable to power itself properly. I usually say it is like every cell in my body is starving and screaming for energy. I feel it in every inch of my body—and not just on the surface... through and through. So, like... cubic inches.

Sometimes I don't even have the energy to power my legs. Trying to stand feels exactly the same as trying to lift a barbell with way more weight than you can lift. I can't get upstairs or even walk to the kitchen. It's a concentrated misery that defies description, despite my constant attempts to try.

Sometimes I get lucky and this flu lasts for a day or two. But the more active I am, the longer it can last. And the severity increases as well. There is also a cumulative version of this—where if I do a bunch of little things over a longer period of time, eventually it will catch up to me and I may be stuck in bed for a few weeks.

And when I say "stuck in bed" I mean stuck in bed.

Short trips to the bathroom and a few minutes in the kitchen to make food. If I spend too much time upright, my legs will literally give out and I will be stuck on the floor until I recharge enough energy to get up again. It would be like every time you needed to get up, you had to hold your breath. Not to mention, the more I do, the longer the recovery will take.

For a long time I chose to never get the flu. I stayed in bed and did just enough to avoid the worst of PEM. I skipped family get-togethers. I didn't see my friends. And I lived my life inside the computer. Some may find that sad, but I actually found a way to make this work. I ran a successful blog that was seen by millions of people and I met my two best friends who I now consider my new family.

One thing that allowed me to choose not to get the flu was my parents. I fear some thought they were spoiling me. They did my laundry. They helped clean my room. They got my groceries. They cooked my food. They took on any chore they could so I could avoid the flu and live some semblance of a life on my computer. There is a lot of guilt wrapped up in that. I didn't ask them to do that. They just sort of... did. And I am so grateful to them.

To be fair, they would have to do these chores for themselves anyway, and tacking on my stuff wasn't a huge deal. But I know it caused them a little extra pain and a few post exertional consequences of their own. So I appreciated that sacrifice more than I can put into words.

But then they both got very sick. And not only could they not help me with my stuff, I had to help them with their stuff. And this was a difficult transition. I had to choose to get the flu to take care of my parents, but then if I got the flu, and I couldn't take care of my parents. I believe this is called a catch-22.

My initial solution was to just not take care of myself. At all. My health and mental well-being was set aside and I just gave all of my energy to them. I didn't shower. I forgot to take important medicines. I didn't do a single thing that brought me joy. And I'm reminded of that analogy of the airplane emergency where the oxygen masks drop. You put on your mask first before you put one on your child. Your instinct is to save them first at all costs. But if you pass out, they are screwed.

So I kept getting that cumulative version of the flu. I'd help them as much as I could for a week or a month and then I'd be useless to them for just as long. Living in the basement did not help. Stairs were very hard for me and constantly going up and down was a huge waste of energy.

And I'm sad to say, the level of care I gave to my mom was not great. I didn't know what I was doing. I didn't understand how to balance my needs with hers. And it led to costly mistakes. She had several preventable falls that caused injuries. At one point she spent hours on the floor because I fell asleep and did not check on her. When you know someone needs regular supervision, you need to synchronize sleepy time.

Thankfully I learned from all of these lessons. Maybe not as quickly as I would have liked, but I did figure it out. I just wish I had learned them before my mom passed. I just wasn't able to give her the help she needed.

And you can tell me "you did your best" all you like, but this isn't a guilt I am choosing. It's just there and I feel it no matter what anyone says. In time I am hoping it will get lighter, but I'm afraid it cannot be wiped away with a well-intentioned platitude.

But with my dad, I decided to move upstairs. That was something I should have done much sooner. But I liked having my personal space and that was hard to give up. When he slept, I slept. When he spent 4 hours at dialysis 3x per week, I would make sure to take care of any personal needs. I would do chores a tiny bit at a time. 5 minutes here, 5 minutes there. And then I would lay on the couch in between and regain my strength. I did everything possible to not get the flu. And I got my flu shots so I wouldn't get the actual flu. (Get your flu shot! 50K die from it every year!) The only hitch in my plan was when I got a kidney stone at the same time my dad was in rehab. I have no idea how I got us through that.

I was very proud of the care I was able to give my dad. And I'm so grateful I was able to pay back just a tiny bit of what my parents did to help me. And the care I gave my father is the only thing that helps me feel better about my failures with my mom.

But now I am entering a new chapter of my life. And I find myself choosing to get the flu more often. I have decided sometimes it is worth the consequences. Part of that is because I am more used to it after dealing with it for 20 years. I have coping mechanisms and procedures and techniques to manage the symptoms. It doesn't make them suck any less, but it definitely makes it more manageable. It's akin to people with chronic pain who still feel the pain just as profoundly as when it was new, but they get so used to it that they forget that isn't how they are supposed to feel.

I approached this scientifically. I did tests. I went to the movies. I tried once a week and that was too much. Then I scaled it back and that was more manageable. Then I realized I had movies at home and decided to end that experiment.

I started to put my energy into something I enjoyed more. My photography. So I have been finding new ways to take pictures again. More experiments. I'm designing a simpler studio that requires much less energy. I'm creating a little product photography workstation where I don't have to set up everything each time I want to take a cool picture of an object. It will just be "turn on the lights" and "take the pictures."

Figuring all of this out made me realize how much I missed photography. And since I have been shooting test pictures here and there, my mental health has been noticeably better. And once I get this all figured out and set up, I am hoping some of you will let me take your photo. Or a photo of your kid. Or a pet. Whatever you have that needs photographing, I'm game.

I'm not going to charge. It's not going to be a business. I do not have the energy to "hustle." And asking people for money just sucked all of the fun out of my beloved art form. It corrupted it. I just love taking pictures and if you need a photo, I'd like to do that for you. I also restore old photos for fun. I'll talk about all of this more in another post when I am ready to start.

And then my grand experiment is coming next week.

I am going to travel.

I am going to see my best friend in Florida for two days. Two days of travel and two days of visiting. This is a scary choice. I know the aftermath is going to be difficult. But I need to get out of this house. I need to see my chosen family in person. And I have never been on a plane and I love the perspective from high places. I know people hate air travel, but for me, looking out that viewport is stunning television that cannot be matched.

Purposely making myself sick sounds like a bad idea. But it isn't life threatening. I have the free time to recover as long as I need to. And I can always choose not to get sick for a while if it gets too hard.

I just ask that people not see this as going from a worse life to a better one. I was really proud of the life I was able to create for myself while staying in bed. That took a long time to figure out. I met some of my favorite people. And I accomplished things I couldn't imagine in my wildest dreams. Please do not shit on that life and think it was sad or meaningless. I was given that life as a gift from my parents and it kept me alive. It has always been a huge insult when people pitied that precious gift they gave me.

This is not a better life that I am trying to figure out. It is just better for me right now. My needs have changed. I have changed. So I am trying to adapt. I just ask that people understand when I go out and do something, please remember the choice I am making.

You may be tempted to say, "You are doing so much better!" I am not any better than I was 10 years ago. Actually, my health has degraded. It's just that before I didn't think getting the flu every time I did something was worth it. And I would hope everyone would understand that was a valid choice.

And now I am inviting those consequences.

On purpose.

Give me the flu, I guess.

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vickyvicarious · 1 year

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I know it seems so random that Jonathan went from utter despair and panic to asking Dracula about his family history, I do, but. it was actually clever.

I think it's extremely clever, actually. And not really random at all. (Though I can absolutely see how it might seem that way.) Jonathan says it himself, as he's coming down from his panic/emerging from despair into planning mode:

So far as I can see, my only plan will be to keep my knowledge and my fears to myself, and my eyes open. I am, I know, either being deceived, like a baby, by my own fears, or else I am in desperate straits; and if the latter be so, I need, and shall need, all my brains to get through.

He can't go to Dracula for help. On the off chance that he's being paranoid, doing so isn't going to help (frankly, even if Dracula were totally innocent and Jonathan were just being paranoid, I think he's already so suspicious of his host that he wouldn't believe any reassurances that might be given. But it's a moot point because Dracula is the cause, Jonathan's correct). And if, as he strongly believes, he is in danger already, Dracula is the one putting him in danger. Confronting him, when he already holds all the power, isn't helpful. Nor is confirming that Jonathan knows what's up by asking him directly about Jonathan's suspicions. Best case scenario, Dracula continues to brush him off like he already did when Jonathan asked questions he didn't want to answer ("Sometimes he sheered off the subject, or turned the conversation by pretending not to understand"), worst case scenario Dracula also drops the pretence of being 'friends' and gets openly violent or restricts Jonathan's freedoms even more.

So Jonathan concludes right away that he can't go to Dracula. But then right after this, he confirms that Dracula is the only other person in the castle (or at least, there are no servants). That means, he has no one else to go to but Dracula. Jonathan starts thinking about the driver, about the caleche ride, about the gifts given to him by the other local passengers... he wonders what purpose they serve, then he decides to talk to Dracula some more.

Some time, if it may be, I must examine this matter and try to make up my mind about it. In the meantime I must find out all I can about Count Dracula, as it may help me to understand. To-night he may talk of himself, if I turn the conversation that way. I must be very careful, however, not to awake his suspicion.

Jonathan's train of thought is something like this: can't confide in the Count -> no one else to ask -> he posed as the driver -> the passengers gave me gifts which may have some meaning -> I'll have to think more about that -> (unstated: the best way to learn information is by talking with someone) -> (unstated: the only person I have to talk to is Dracula) -> I can try and subtly direct the conversation to learn more about Dracula.

That he does so under the auspices of local history makes it clear to me the gifts are still on his mind. He already asked about local superstitions the day before and Dracula got quiet at times, so he doesn't want to press the point. But in amongst his answers the other day, Dracula got very dismissive of the peasants (= he is proud of his noble status), and he mentioned that "Transylvania is not England. Our ways are not your ways, and there shall be to you many strange things." (= at least some if not all of this stuff is linked to Transylvanian ways specifically, which is supported by the locals seeming to have knowledge Jonathan does not.)

So by asking about local history, Jonathan is gathering together a whole bunch of threads. Local history (perhaps including supernatural/relevant elements), learning more about the character and values of his captor (always useful information), not being open with his suspicions, choosing a topic Dracula is likely to talk willingly on at length, and following up on his own points of interest in as subtle a way as possible.

And while Dracula's following diatribe isn't openly discussing his vampirism, it sure does give a sense of his values as well as context clues that can become quite important later.

#dracula daily #jonathan harker #he said he was using all his brains and he meant it!#anonymous #replies #dracula meta #my meta

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thisismeracing · 11 months

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King of my heart | MS47 | part. 15

Pairing: mick schumacher x hamilton!reader (she/her)

Warnings: curse words, mentions of food and alcohol, mentions of sex (no smut tho), tooth-rotting fluff, not proofread, etc etc. Minors DNI!

word count: 4.1k

part. 14 | series masterlist | part 16 | taglist

Summary: Mick Schumacher rode a lousy wave for quite some time, so when the sky gets cleaner and the sun brighter he just knows something terrible may be in store for him. Whereas y/n was just so magnetic, and the possibilities of life with her seemed better than anything his mind could ever create, that’s why, for the first time in forever, he throws cautious carelessly through the window, hoping to get to the finish line before it catches up on him.

A/n: There are a bunch of moments between Gina and Yn, and Yn and Corrina, and especially Mick and Yn. I know some of you are curious as to what happened after the last smau chapter, but I need to show Yn and Mick before so that you can understand what happens and why it happens when it does. I hope you guys like it! Thank you so much for all the reblogs, comments, and likes, it means a lot and I would love it if you guys kept it coming (they really motivate me to get things done faster lol). I will probably be posting some extras during this week and, hopefully, chapter 16 which will be a regular chapter too. Let me know your thoughts, and make sure to send my work or this fic to a friend as a rec *mwah*

*The first part happens right after the China GP (chapter 10 here)

*SMAU VERSION

“Can you turn it off?” Yn mumbled, moving her face closer to Mick’s neck, burying herself there as if by a miracle the sound wouldn’t reach her from that spot.

The German scratched his eyes with the back of his hands, stretching his body as far as he could with Yn’s weight on top of him, “I fear we have to get up.”

“No, can’t do,” she answers while trying to merge her body with his, which takes a bunch of her curls to Mick’s face. It tickles him, and Mick can only chuckle, especially when she adds, “I think I’m still hungover. How can you even consider leaving the bed?”

“C’mon, I gotta shower and find something healthy to eat before getting to the paddock,” it’s the German’s response, fingers tenderly trailing down Yn’s body.

The Hamilton pushes herself up, elbows propped on Mick’s naked chest, her sleepy brows raising, and her hand confidently lifting to him in a greeting manner. Mick snickers, foreseeing her dirty joke, but Yn did not crack, only smirks and joshes, “Nice to meet you. Did you know my middle name is Healthy? Pretty close to Hamilton as you can tell too.”

She looked so pretty, he thought, all giddy and smiley, wearing nothing but his shirt, perched on top of him, body still soft with sleep, and coated by a post-orgasm glow. Mick huffed moving one of his hands to her waist to keep her in place while the other pulled some of her curls from her face. Her brown skin gleamed under the natural light coming from the big window in front of them. He swore he could spend days admiring her without getting even remotely bored.

Meanwhile, Yn was doing the same, studying him study her. The way his blue eyes would move attentively, sometimes using his fingers to trace the path his eyes took. He would brush it around her collarbone, under her chin. He would draw her lips without even noticing he was doing so, and she would smile because nothing ever felt quite like that.

Nothing ever felt as natural as being with Mick.

“Shower sex?” she breaks the moment with another playful joke and shrieks when the blonde gets up, hauling her body on his shoulders and power walking to the bathroom. Their laughs echoed right before their moans and silent promises. They had yet to choose which one was their favorite symphony.

–

Yn had just finished drying her hair and was now giving the final touches, Mick was sitting patiently on the marble of the sink, attentively observing her movements, “We should go sightseeing later today,” he suggested.

“That would be nice, actually,” the Hamilton agreed, breaking the distance between their bodies with short steps. Less than a second and she was standing between his legs, grinning up at him, “thought, I would agree to do about anything if it meant staying close to you,” she confessed, and Mick felt his heart falter a beat. It was still new for him the way she openly praised and confessed what she was feeling and thinking.

He was enchanted.

Mick beamed pinching Yn’s chin between his pointer and forefinger and bringing her face for a tender kiss. Their lips brushed tentatively, and she found a home for her hands on his shoulders and waist, her gentle touch made him humm in appreciation right before he dived into her, exploring each other as much as the physics of the position permitted. Everything was amplified by the feeling of their body heat and the fast pumping of their hearts. Tingly stomach, clenching lungs, burning cheeks, sweaty palms. Kissing someone never felt like this before, and they were both over the moon to experience it with the other.

It would be hard to go around their days without touching after discovering every little detail and feeling they did. Yn could only pray her eyes didn’t turn her in.

And as it turns out, her eyes didn’t turn her in because they were together for almost a month. What did screw things up, however, was the internet. The media started to speculate even more, which meant tons of paparazzi around her and, worse, Mick’s family. Lewis was used to the flashes and the comments, and he knew his sister and the Schumacher were together, Yn told him during the Baku week, nonetheless, he was stressed about how everyone was invading their privacies, things went as far as the oldest Hamilton giving a rude answer when asked about it.

So that meant Yn was as stressed as ever, and she felt responsible for putting everyone on the spot. That’s what she told Corinna while they were having breakfast at the paddock. It was the Miami race week, things were hectic, everyone was super busy with everything, and still, they had to deal with the internet’s attention. Both Yn and Corina were aware that their breakfast trip too would be all around Twitter before the day was over.

“It’s not your fault, honey,” the oldest Schumacher assures Yn, hands extended at the table, fingers intertwined in an attempt to calm Yn.

“How did you deal with this when you were younger?” Yn asked, but then added, “If you’re comfortable, I don’t want to make you talk about something that may make you sad.”

Corina smiled at Yn’s consideration. She was always a sweetheart, yet would joke around and make everyone laugh. The Schumacher understood why Mick was head over heels for the youngest Hamilton. “You get used to it, sometimes you gotta set boundaries and tell people what's off limits, but there’s a part of your life that inevitably has to be public,” she explains. “You’re both famous in different fields, but connected by your brother’s career too, so I think that’s the reason why everyone wants a peek into your relationship,” Corina’s voice was soft and she delivered every word holding tightly Yn’s hand, the oldest woman knew how it felt to have to choose between love and privacy. She knew how hard it was in the beginning and she knew the importance of having guidance. It wasn’t just being exposed as a person, but as a couple, and that added extra pressure to the relationship. “I love Michael, so it was an easy choice. It didn’t change the fact that I had to get used to everything, but it helped me think about our future and present together whenever I got anxious.”

Yn took a deep breath. She liked Mick more than she initially thought. Being closer to him, sharing secrets, thoughts, fears, and affection with someone always brings them closer, and the Schumacher was so near her heart that she was afraid he was already with half of his body inside, making a home for himself there. Still, it’s a difficult situation when you’re in between with your feelings, and you don’t know if you love them or you just like them a lot, and it gets hard to make decisions such as Corina’s. It puts you in the mirror facing your own wrongdoings and fears, you have to ask questions and deliver honest answers because the next step will be supported by it. One wrong wording, and you can trip.

“I’m really sorry for putting you in the spot again with all the paparazzi and internet comments,” Yn glances at her untouched plate, heart heavy and body tired.

“Hey,” Corina calls, “I don’t care about it. It is an inconvenience, but it’s nothing new to me or Gina, or Mick. What I do care about is my children's happiness, and Mick cares for you, he smiles more when you are around, and even Angie seems to be obsessed with you. I can’t be more unbothered by noisy people who don’t really know about our family, talking on the Internet,” she offered.

They shared eye contact for another minute, smiling knowingly and affectionately at each other. And so with her heart warm and with a big smile on her face, Yn tossed part of her fears away and started a new topic, a fun one, finally biting on her food.

Sunday proved to be a tough experience for both Hamilton’s. One dealing with privacy problems, and the other dealing with a sixth position in a race that was supposed to treat him right. Yn watched everything with her dad, Corinna, and Gina by her side, and although it wasn’t the outcome they were waiting for, it was a good experience to share that moment with them. Gina was an avid watcher, whilst Mick kept attentive eyes on the screen, only occasionally speaking, Gina would cheer and grab Yn whenever Lewis had to slow down for a curve or a car got too close. It took a couple of jump scares for Yn to get used to how Gina would suddenly go for her arms or almost yell something, but by the middle of the race, the Hamilton would be ready for her friend’s manner.

When the race was finally over, Yn was leaning on her father, a small pout on her lips thinking about how bummed her brother must be with the results. Lewis, just like her, would always set high goals and would do just about anything he physically could to reach it. It was something that she admired about him, and he admired about her, and both worried about each other. Their similarities made them share similar problems too, and at those times one of the few people who could calm their racing minds would be their dad.

“It’s time to get you cape, super dad,” Yn tried to lighten the mood, and Anthony, her dad, chuckled. He turned, planting a kiss on her forehead, and smiled when he saw Mick approach them.

“Gina’s in the bathroom,” Yn pointed behind her, and the German nodded.

“Yeah, I saw her leaving… I- uhm got you some water and the chocolate bar you like,” he moved the two things in his hand, “I didn’t see you eat nor drink during the race. I thought this could lift your mood a bit too.”

Anthony watched everything unfold in front of him. The way his daughter stared at the blonde in front of them, how her lips curled in a genuine smile and her eyes twinkled in a way that only someone who had known her since forever would notice, the way it did when she was trying to bottle her emotions, to keep her reaction’s a whisper, instead of let it be heard by others.

“Thank you, mouse,” Yn smiled, taking a swing from the water and eagerly opening the sweet bar, but nothing tasted sweeter than knowing Mick was paying attention, that he thought about her, that he worried about her even when his mind was focused on something else.

“Would you like something too, Mr. Hamilton?” Mick asked. “I didn’t-”

Anthony interrupts with a playful chortle, “You didn’t pay attention to me,” it’s a statement, but although it could be interpreted as a bad thing, it doesn’t sound like something terrible for the oldest Hamilton seeing as he is smirking at Mick. “But you did share your attention between the race and my daughter, so I gotta give you that.” Anthony jokes, and Mick relaxes. “I’m good, got some water and food while you kids were focused on not cursing or screaming.”

Just as he finished his sentence, Gina returned from the bathroom. “I’ve been watching races since a kid, but it still stresses me and makes me wanna curse a pilot or two,”

“Or twenty,” Yn added, and the whole group shared a laugh.

“Or twenty,” she agrees.

“Twenty what?” it was Corinna’s voice approaching.

And so they tried to focus their conversation on the light topic before Yn and her dad went to Lewis for some much-needed family time. Yn let her dad do the talking, while her brother leans on her, sweaty forehead on her shoulder and one of his hands clasped on hers. It’s their silent way of communicating they got each other’s back. A reminder that the other is there and won’t leave. Lewis tried to argue about how sixth wasn’t good, but neither of the Hamiltons’ were having that, so they stayed together until Lewis had media duties, now with his mind in the right place. And Yn made him promise her they would go out with their friends to celebrate the points.

And that they do.

Monday starts early, or at least that’s what Yn gathered when she woke up to soft kisses on her naked back. The room was still fairly dark just a bit of light was spilling from the sides of the big curtains giving the space a nice coloring. She spotted her clothes scattered on the ground along with Mick’s, and she mumbled in her hazy state when his lips found her shoulders.

“It’s time to wake up,” it was a whisper, but his voice was always thicker in the morning, which gave Yn chills.

“Two more hours,” was her plea.

Mick laughed, his lips now on the sweet spot of her neck, kissing and biting, and taking a meowl out of Yn’s lips, “You’re the one who came up with the idea of going out today. C’mon, it’s a beautiful day,” his voice is so melodic, spoken between kisses, in synchrony with his exploring and gentle hands on her. It feels like a beautiful day indeed, but Yn just wanted some more hours of sleep after spending most of the Sunday night talking in bed with Mick. She could still hear their laughs and feel her belly hurting from how much they did it.

“How come you know it’s a beautiful day if the curtains are closed?” It’s her sassy response, but Mick knows she’s just trying to buy a bit more time. He will answer, she will mumble something back, he will answer yet again, and this time she will be snoozing.

He’s attentive.

Mick loves to observe Yn.

So his answer is simple yet effective, “We went to bed together and woke up together. How could it not be a beautiful day?”

And that get’s Yn full attention. She turns, her back now on the mattress, Mick’s weight deliciously on top of her, his sweet, yet sleepy smile takes her breath away for a second or two, “You’re so cheesy,” she whispers, one hand rubbing her eyes, the other holding Mick’s bicep as if silently telling him to stay close.

“I got you to wake up.”

Yn nods her head lightly, eyes closing again, but this time to contain her lips from forming their own sentence, confessing what her mind has yet to discover. She smiles, and it’s so beautiful. Mick wants to keep the image in his head forever.

“You’re right.”

“About what?” Mick asks, dipping his head to kiss her naked skin again. Yn’s fingers thread throw his blond strands messing his hair a bit more.

“It’s a beautiful day.” She opens her eyes again, big brown orbs getting lost in the soft details of Schumacher’s face. “Why can’t we stay here forever? This could be our kingdom,” it’s her sleepy comment, but something she has been thinking about a lot. Life was so much simpler when it was just the two of them inside a room. She wanted to keep and cherish their feelings. It was so precious and intimate sometimes Yn wished it could be their secret for longer than they knew would be.

“Queen of my heart,” Mick purred in her ear, lips trailing kisses from that spot to her face.

“King of mine,” she breathed her confession lacing her arms around his naked chest and melting into the hug that followed.

Both of them were aware of what their confession meant.

It felt too soon to say I love you, but it was never too soon to swim through it, to discover their feelings, to get used to how each praise and word sounded, to the secrecy and intimacy of sharing how falling for the other felt.

There were many ways to confess, show and feel love.

Mick and Yn were discovering it day by day.

–

“And don’t take forever, please, Sir!” Yn joked, and Lewis rolled his eyes before slamming the bathroom door. Mick laughed at the siblings' antics.

It was about an hour after the couple had woken up, and they were now in the process of dragging Lewis out of his room. The oldest Hamilton was usually, contrary to Yn, the early bird. Lewis would be up and doing just about everything before the clock hit seven am, but it was a post-race Monday, and sometimes he gave himself the luxury of sleeping in (which would usually consist of sleeping until eight am).

Today, however, Lewis was woken up by his sister and his friend, chaotically fussing him to change so they could have breakfast. And what else could he do if not follow? How could he ever say no to his sister when she was so radiant and smiley in the morning?

Lewis played the older brother part and pretended to be annoyed by the duo before finally giving in and following their script.

Which consisted of breakfast in the hotel with part of the grid, who was going to go with them, half of the morning at the beach enjoying the Miami weather and clear sand, and then a boat party, which was not supposed to be a party but rather just a gathering with some low music and drinks, but Lando was one of the few who volunteered to get everything together, so neither Yn nor Mick was surprised when the boat friendly gathering turned into a yacht party.

Yn remembers drinking and swimming with Gina, drowning shots with Pierre and Yuki, and spending over an hour discussing music with Lewis and Charles. Between every conversation and interaction she had with her friends, her eyes would always find Mick from across the boat or in the water. They would smile at each other, sometimes stare for as long as possible without raising people’s attention, and then go about their day. She wanted to stop by his side and kiss him or help him with sunscreen on his cheeks and back, but although they were friends, they were still a secret for some new guests, and there was always the possibility of cameras catching. So they kept it to themselves.

Or at least they tried.

And they did it for most of the party.

Until they couldn’t anymore.

That’s how they found each other in the bathroom, on the bottom floor of the yacht.

Flush cheeks, warm bodies, and loose giggles. The music from the party was muffled, and they reveled in each other’s touch. Eager hands exploring every surface of the other’s body. Mick’s arm curled around Yn’s waist, pressing against each other harder and moaning in her mouth. She grinned into the kiss, humming and biting his lower lip. He tasted like alcohol, with a salty tinge to it thanks to the sea and the sunscreen. His hair was still damp from when he was swimming, and Yn threaded her fingers between them, pulling lightly.

They pulled away to catch their breaths, and Yn attached her lips to his collarbone, kissing and biting it, enjoying the way he leaned into her, as if in surrender to her caressing. Mick cups Yn’s cheeks between his hands, staring into her eyes, and it’s like time freezes for a second.

She smiles.

He smiles too.

His lips parted to say something, but before he could, there was a knock on the door.

“Oi?”

“Occupied!” they both shout over the muffled music and the closed door, and they laugh after noticing that now whoever is on the other side knows that a couple is making out in the bathroom.

“We should get back to the party,” Mick sighed, and Yn silently agreed, standing on her tiptoes to give him another kiss.

“See you up there,” it’s whispered on his lips, and he smiles, giving her another peck and finally letting her body go.

He watches as Yn fixes her bikini in front of the mirror, and blows him a kiss before opening the door and leaving. Mick takes a deep breath, trying to calm his racing heart, and all the blood rushing through his body. He can still feel her body pressed against his, her smile on his skin. He takes some time to get ready before going back to the party, and when he does, Yn is sitting with Gina, her hands now occupied with a drink, and one of her big smiles gracing her lips.

“This party was the best idea ever, Yn,” Gina gushed, passing Yn a water bottle. “I’m letting loose before the competition in two weeks. I feel like I was getting too anxious,” she confessed, and Yn nodded.

“When is it happening?” Yn asked and then added, “The exact date, I mean.”

Gina took a sip from her drink, sitting cross-legged and turning her body slightly in Yn’s direction. They watched as Mick strolled toward them, a tipsy smile on his lips, seeing the two interact. He sat on the ground, body leaning on the seat, parting Yn’s legs to accommodate his large shoulders.

“May 28th,” was the oldest Schumacher answer.

Yn furrowed her eyebrows in confusion, “It’s the date of the Monaco race, right?” She asked, and Gina shrugged and nodded. “You’re going?” Yn nudged Mick with her feet, and he grabbed it, directing her calf on top of his shoulders and in front of his chest.

“I tried, but it’s a hectic season. And it’s literally race day. I couldn’t get the day off,” Yn observes Gina’s and Mick’s instance. They seem bummed with the whole situation. But who wouldn’t be? It’s his sister's tournament, and he won’t be there to cheer for her. And she felt her heart squeeze with the idea of Gina competing without a familiar face in the stands for her.

“But Corinna’s going, right?”

Gina shook her head, and Yn bit her lip in thought.

“She originally would, this ride was supposed to happen in the middle of the week, but something came up, and they had to reschedule,” the blonde girl explained.

The youngest Hamilton played with the strings of her swimsuit, while her mind came up with solutions for the current problem, “I could go,” she suggests. “If you want me there, that is. Only if you’re comfortable,” Yn is quick to add.

Yn witnesses Gina’s face change from a small frown to a big smile. Her eyes twinkled, and her posture relaxed, before she pursed her lips, questioning, “But how about Lewis? He’s racing, isn’t he?”

“Yeah, but Dad will be there, and so will Mick,” Yn grins, catching Mick’s eyes for a split second before looking back at Gina.

“Would you do it? Would you trade Monaco for Oklahoma to watch me ride a horse- It’s noisy, and very country. Do you like country stuff? Are you sure you wouldn’t mind?” now Gina’s rambling, excited but also nervous with the perspective of Yn regretting her decision.

“G, breathe,” Mick reminds his sister, and she catches her breath, takes a sip of her drink, and then turns to Yn again.

“You’ll have a familiar face rooting for you in the stands. I will need a cowboy hat, though. I don’t have any.”

The blonde lets out a small squeal and lunges to hug Yn spilling their drinks in the process. They laugh, and ignore the sticky and sweety tinger of the alcohol and fruity juice, embracing each other.

Yn can’t see, but Mick is watching them from his spot on the ground. Neck turned in an attempt to get an even better view of the bond between them being straightened. He feels his heart warm with the image, how Gina’s eyes are closed and her lips spotting a large smile, how she looked more relaxed, happier because of Yn.

All because of Yn.

It’s a beat before they exchange some more words, Mick is too deep into his own thoughts, he only notices Gina getting up in the direction of the hose by the end of the yacht, and he takes the opportunity to get up.

“I think we will need another trip to the bathroom,” he whispers in Yn’s ear, and she smiles.

“I can clean up in th-” She stopped herself when she saw his expression. A mix she now knew to be admiration and arousal.

“Thank you for sacrificing Monaco for Gina,” he mumbled when they reached the corridor, not even waiting until they got to the bathroom to smash their lips in a kiss.

“It was nothing,” she dismisses it, and he shook his head.

“It was beautiful, and it was a lot. You’re too beautiful.” He praised, and Yn could only let her lips be devoured, her body be consumed, and her mind convinced of every compliment Mick whispered to her in their little bubble.

taglist: @sachaa-ff @ferrariloverr @mellowpizzapuppy @kenanlotus0 @mickslover @Dalsuwaha @formulakay3 @mishaandthebrits @iloveyou3000morgan @crimeshowjunkie @fdl305 @chaoticevilbakugo @carojasmin2204 @wondergirl101ks

(let me know if your tag was supposed to be only for my other works and you don't wanna be tagged on the series! <3)

#mick schumacher #ms47 #f1 imagines #mick schumacher imagine #f1 imagine #black!reader #millie writes #komh #mick schumacher imagines #mick schumacher x reader #mick schumacher social media au #mick schumacher x black!reader #mick schumacher x you #f1 x black!reader #f1 x reader #social media au f1

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scaredcrab · 2 months

Text

Macaque x Reader - Silly Vallentine

Promotional Disclaimer: This chapter is being posted here to promote the whole work on AO3! To read more chapters, go to the AO3 link, in fact, the new chapters will be posted there first!

✐ 1 Chapter summary: Overcome by boredom, Macaque goes for a walk on Valentine's Day and finds you. An event that turns out to be more amusing than expected.

✐ Category: Fluff; Hurt/Comfort; Cute; Slow Burn; Slow Romance; Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence; Reader-Insert; Touch-Starved; Cuddling & Snuggling; Foreign Reader; Gender-Neutral Pronouns; Humor; Mythology References; Not Beta Read.

Trigger Warning (for the whole work, not this chapter in particular): Angst; Blood and Violence; Trust Issues; Self-Esteem Issues; Self-Worth Issues; lots of issues; Xenophobia; Trauma; Swearing; Emotional Baggage; Emotional Hurt.

-✐-☾-✐-☾-✐-☾-✐-☾-✐-☾-✐-☾-✐-☾-

Chapter 1 - Valentine

This kind of celebration usually doesn't matter much to warriors dedicated only to fighting and revenge, there's no time to meet new people and to love if you're busy going after a hated acquaintance.

But that doesn't mean boredom can't knock on these people's doors.

A powerful monkey demon walks through a large city disguised as an ordinary human. The monotony of his hiding place had ended up irritating him, resulting in a stroll during "lovers day".

The tedium was enormous to make someone so reclusive go out on a day like this. Streets are full of commemorative decorations, mainly pink heart-shaped ornaments, and serenades with sweet music can be heard everywhere, even the sky looked rosier than usual, however what occupies the surroundings more than the color pink are couples laughing.

Couples that make you want to throw up for being so clingy, many of them look like exaggerated caricatures of what a happy pair would look like. The demon even rolled his eyes when he heard some phrases from the loose lovebirds, sometimes having a good hearing is a nightmare.

"I'm scared, honey, what if I don't like the people at the party?" - A short girl passes by the monkey.

"Calm down, if you get nervous, we'll just get out of there. Trust me, we're in this together." - The other girl takes one of her partner's shoulders and speaks in a sweet, calm voice.

He stops in place, for a brief moment.

... Yeah, even though the concept of clingy couples was a little annoying, there was a part of him that held a certain... Interest.

The idea of having someone who cares about your emotional and physical state, the idea of being appreciated, someone to give you attention and affection, someone to trust, all of this was somehow pleasant to imagine. A part of him really craved someone he could actually count on, someone that would actually choose to stay with him.

The warrior shook his head to get that unimportant feeling out of there. Is the holiday making him emotional? This is so pathetic. Like, come on, he had more fun things to do than that!

The biggest fun of being on the streets today is watching couples break up. Or to see people rejecting each other. Dramatic love situations filled with people with broken hearts, looking like over-the-top soap operas in real life. That was pure entertainment.

A rattling bell and the sound of hard material hitting the wall shows that someone has opened a door not far away with incredible brute force, the door in question being the door of a luxuriant restaurant.

"Wait! Come back! What did I do wrong, my little pudding?!" - A man cried while trying to reach a woman in a fancy dress.

"I've already made it clear to you that I hate it when you call me that. What were you thinking, showing up dressed like that in front of my entire family?" - She pointed with her index finger at the clown nose the man had on his face.

"I-I wanted to make your family have fun."

"You made everyone laugh at me! Laugh at us. You made me look like an idiot!"

Ooh, this was a good drama, an argument for a ridiculous reason. This gives a bunch of inspiration to an artist, stupid story scenarios becomes the perfect reference to fun scenes. The beauty and the clown, yeah, this could be the theme of a shadow play, a funny one. A few laughs escaped the demon's lips, so much suffering for such a stupid reason was a special comedy to watch.

Unfortunately for him, the pairing didn't take long to reconcile, returning to the restaurant's interior happily and holding hands.

He rolled his eyes at the scene, boredom returned and, so did his quest for entertainment. Maybe looking for fun outside the hideout wasn't such a good idea at all.

He looked at the restaurant through the front window, taking off his hood of his head, so it wouldn't get in the way of the view, inside there were several couples eating fancy dishes that looked delicious...

Ah yes, the second reason to go out today, the food.

The dishes had too many heart decorations for the Six Eared Macaque's taste, however, that didn't change how tasty they looked. Main courses full of meats and spices, a big variety of drinks and sugary desserts filled the space in every busy table.

If he sneaks into the shadows the right way, it won't be hard to get some good meals.

His belly growled.

"AaaAh! That was loud!" - He looked to the side and saw... You. - "Gosh, you scared me!"

Macaque jumped startled, he hadn't seen that a human had approached to look in the window too. A loud noise came from your belly almost as if it was competing with his stomach.

"Oh... You must be hungry. You also don't have a partner to eat a Valentine's Day food?" - Your hunger had reminded you of that scary noise that came from his tummy.

Macaque was starting to consider fleeing away from there, all he needs less now is boring small talk in the midst of invasion plans.

"Today there are various places offering special dishes for couples, but only for couples." - You keep talking even without hearing an answer from him. - "I'm alone too, so I understand the feeling of walking around without a partner, it makes us think about all the good food we're missing. I only left my house today to see everything decorated and pink, you know. I wanted to see the city transformed."

/ Does this human get chatty when hungry, or are they just naturally annoying? /

After that thought, the belly of the two rumbled together, a synchronized noise, it sounded like a were a rehearsed trick.

"Argh! Those foods look so delicious! I would even pay someone to accompany me, pretending to be my partner."

/ Wait a minute, what did they just say? /

"Would you really pay someone to do something like that?" - An interest appeared behind the question.

"Of course, I really want the couples discounts and stuff." - You answered honestly without even thinking twice, it's a habit of yours that ends up putting you in complicated situations all the time.

A mischievous grin broke out on his face.

He turned around and put a hand on your shoulder to have your attention just for him, you look into the eyes of the man who was holding you. - "Well, today is your lucky day! I am completely willing to cooperate with you in exchange for a good payment."

Now the human eyes stared at the man, the owner of those eyes carrying a certain nervousness within them. We all know that you shouldn't make deals with strangers, you know that very well yourself, but this is an opportunity to eat the exclusive foods that will only be available for today...

You took a good look at his figure to study his details, checking out the sparkle in his eyes, the charming smile, the beard that added the final touch to his attractive face. He wears clothes in nice colors that match each other, specifically dark red and black, his dark hair wasn't super tidy but wasn't tossed around either. The strands look very soft too, a strange urge to stroke the locks of hair haunted your head, but you held back. A man full of charisma stood before you.

You had to admit, he is hot. He is really hot, and he probably knows that (right?), so how expensive would that service be?

"... And how much would be a good payment in your opinion?"

He moved closer to your ear (a thing that made your whole body heat up and shiver) and using a seductive, soft voice, he whispered the value. Your brain melted hearing the voice while collapsed, listening to the number being said. God. The company of pretty men really was expensive.

He seemed to be delighted to see you shudder, to see you making such a shocked expression at the answer, a smug and satisfied smile graced his face. And honestly, this attitude only made you feel more silly feelings in your chest.

"My lord! This much just because you're handsome?!"

"Nice try, but flattering me isn't going to make me change the price I set."

"W-Wait! Let's talk a few things before accepting any price! Like, what places do you allow us to go? What couple things I can do with you? What are your personal boundaries? It wouldn't be fair to charge a specific amount without considering certain things."

The man stares at you intently for a few seconds like someone trying to see through dark glass, arms crossed defensively as he "scans" you up and down. He seemed to be searching for lies through the aura of your soul, or something like this.

"... Like a spoken contract? A kind of sacred agreement between us?" - You nodded with your head.

After thinking some more, Macaque started to say his limitations: No kisses. No hugs. No pet names. You're only allowed to walk holding hands (so you don't end up getting lost).

On your turn to speak, you negotiate the places to visit: an elegant restaurant, a chocolate fondue stand and a cute cafe. These places had great deals for couples and unique Valentine's Day dishes.

/ Isn't that too much food for just one person? /

He had no idea how much food would fit in your stomach, but he could eat a lot himself, so he was getting a big prize. Caring for you was the least of his worries, so your final state at the end of the tour doesn't matter as long as he's well paid and well-fed.

Being so demanding and limiting turned out to affect the final price of the deal, you would have to pay less to the fake boyfriend, but it was still a hefty price.

With everything settled, it was time to pay.

You looked in your wallet with a sad expression. - "Goodbye sweet money, I will never forget you."

When you were about to hand over the payment, you remembered a basic socialization step.

"Wait a minute! I don't know your name." - You held your money close to your chest, hesitating.

The monkey blinked in disbelief, processing the moment, of all suspicious things was it the lack of name that made you hesitate?

A light chuckle escaped from him. - "You can call me Mac. What about you?"

After revealing your name, you glared at the man as you slowly handed over the money, taking your time to say goodbye to the lost fortune. When he took the money from your hands, you made a thin little noise of suffering. Honestly, you're so exaggerated.

We can say that you're dumb too! Knowing each other's names isn't going to stop one from running off with the payment. Lucky for you, Macaque was starting to be entertained by the human innocence. Or would it be better to say stupidity instead of innocence?

Well, it doesn't matter, a fake date has begun.

#lmk #lego monkie kid #monkie kid #lmk x reader #lego monkie kid x reader #lmk macaque x reader #macaque x reader #lmk fanfiction

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witchthewriter · 1 year

Photo

𝐁𝐞𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐢𝐧 𝐚 𝐩𝐨𝐥𝐲 𝐫𝐞𝐥𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐩 𝐛𝐞𝐭𝐰𝐞𝐞𝐧 𝐃𝐫𝐮𝐢𝐠 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐁𝐮𝐜𝐤𝐲 𝐰𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐢𝐧𝐜𝐥𝐮𝐝𝐞

⤷ gender neutral, ambiguous race, and any size reader. Requests are open, thank you for reading!

ᴹᵃˢᵗᵉʳˡᶤˢᵗ

SFW🌿

▪️ You had met both Bucky and Druig during a mission.

▪️ Although you weren’t considered an Avenger, you hated the term ‘hero.’

▪️ You preferred anti-hero, if you had to put a label on it

▪️ Your powers had appeared during a freak accident, that you still didn’t like to talk, or even think about.

▪️ But the end result; you could manipulate the natural world

▪️ Air, Earth, Water, Fire -

▪️ It made you a formidable opponent

▪️ And the best teammate

▪️ Although sometimes it was difficult to reign in your power. That made you really insecure... but that was before Druig & Bucky.

▪️ With their help, you were able to control your power, truly make it your own. It was a deliriously happy moment - when you were able to completely integrate you and your power

▪️ It was in those hours that Druig and Bucky seemed to take to each other, like they formed a background crush on one another

▪️ Where it was obvious that they both had a thing for you. A deep thing.

▪️ So yes, it did start off as a love triangle, with both men having a competition to gain your favour.

▪️ But the world is crazy and you never know what will happen next, so you said:

“I’m not going to choose. I either have both of you, or neither.”

▪️ And damn, that was a boss moment, because both men looked at each other and shrugged

▪️ “Together then,” Druig had said, breaking the silence

▪️ From then on, the three of you were always grouped together. Whatever happened before you got together was never talked about.

▪️ Your relationship was the start of your story

▪️ Druig’s favourite thing to do is piss off Bucky, and at the very least - tease him relentlessly

▪️ Although he can’t go with the old man jokes because ... he’s older than Bucky

▪️ You all work because Bucky is the backbone of the relationship, but can become very depressed, Druig has humour and mischief but too can become grumpy with too much outside human interaction, and you’re their hope. Their light in life.

▪️ It really works because you’re all introverts

▪️ You’d rather be at home, reading, writing, or watching tv with the guys

▪️ And they feel the same way

▪️ Druig has seen the world, the best and worst of it

▪️ Bucky has sacrificed a lot for the world

▪️ And you have endured a lot of trauma

▪️ So you all live in your own little bubble

▪️ Bucky is actually a pretty good cook

▪️ But Druig hates cooking - he doesn’t want to waste his time making anything too complicated

▪️ So you and Bucky are usually in the kitchen, cooking up a storm, while Druig makes sarcastic remarks from across the room

▪️ Oh and you have two cats, one black and one white

▪️ Their names are Sam and Magnus

▪️ Yes one is named after Sam Wilson, and when he visited your place and found out, all he did was laugh

“You know what Buck? I’m flattered!”

▪️ And no, Druig doesn’t use his mind-control, you and Bucky have forbidden it.

▪️ But he can do it to assholes when you’re out and about. Especially drunk ones

▪️ After a while, you guys would go and do vigilante stuff

▪️ Because you felt bad that awful things were happening and the police were doing nothing about it

⭑ Relationship Tropes:

✧ Asshole (Bucky) x Also An Asshole But It’s Hard To Tell Because Of Their Cute Exterior (You) x Even More Of An Asshole (Druig)

✧ Just a bunch of anti-heroes, bickering about when/why they should help

✧ This Probably Shouldn’t Work But Hey, It Actually Does

NSFW🔞minors dni!

▪️ Druig is a sub, and he gets into that headspace quite easily. He wouldn’t normally be so easy to let others control him, but he feels safe with Bucky and yourself.

▪️ Bucky automatically takes control; knowing what he wants and what he wants the both of you to do.

▪️ And on special occasions, you have both men tied up, begging for you to touch them.

▪️ Druig likes to be kissed on his chest, especially his nipples

▪️ Bucky likes when you pull his hair and bite his earlobe

▪️ Bucky likes to be pegged, and would most definitely take it from Druig.

▪️ Druig isn’t a bottom though, only a sub. He likes the teasing, the edging and nearing orgasm.

▪️ Bucky was against the sex toys at first, feeling somewhat hurt that his body alone wasn’t enough. But you both had to explain to him that that was not the reason at all

▪️ And now he’s a sex toy fiend

▪️ He’s constantly *slyly* suggesting to go to the sex store

▪️ Druig barely gets embarrassed, seriously, about anything. And at the beginning of the relationship, he took great pride in getting Bucky as red in the face as he could

▪️ They both love playing with your chest, sucking on your nipples

▪️ Oh and they both adore giving head

#bucky barnes #bucky barnes headcanon #bucky barnes x reader #bucky #bucky barnes x you #druig #druig headcanons #druig x reader #marvel #mcu #marvel headcanons #mcu headcanons #marvel fanfiction #mcu fanfiction #bucky smut #druig smut #bucky x druig #bucky x druig x reader

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kindlingkeen · 6 days

Note

You gave me permission to pester and so now I’ll be that stray cat that won’t stop showing up at your door w random junk (in this case, questions & things)

So! Meta abilities / powers / whatever you wanna call em. 👏

I know none of what Jason’s got going on is meta stuff, all his magic and things are earned through different means (Lazarus, All-Cast, etc) but I have seen people sometimes scrap the whole superboy prime/lazarus pit thing and instead make it that Jason has some sort of immortality type ability.

I love it, immortality is inherently tragic for so many people ESPECIALLY the one that’s actually forced to live on. And something about Jason being the one fated to die first (voted) yet unable to actually really do so hurts. Plus powers in general is neat.

But! That is not the only meta ability I’ve seen people give Jason. I’ve seen some where he can travel through shadows, where he can influence the terrain of Gotham, understand animals, unnatural tracking abilities, acid spit, doesn’t breathe, ghost rider type stuff, smth that links him to others, etc.

I love me some flashy abilities but I’m always partial to the subtle ones that don’t look like bunch but are badass when used right.

So w that in mind, if you could give him any meta abilities or powers, what would you choose? what do you think would be the most fun? The ones that could have the best impact on plot n why, etc. doesn’t have to tie into current canon at all ofc, go wild. I’m very curious on what you come up w because there is, quite literally, infinite possibilities. :)

Hey, friend!

Okay, I let this one percolate for a couple of days, and I have to admit, I’m a little stuck. I can’t say I’ve ever really thought about Jason as a meta. One of the things I love about Jay is that he’s just a normal dude (aside from the soul swords thing, but actually that gets at some of my issues with rhato). Like, beat him with a crowbar, blow him up, slice his throat open with a batarang, have his dad beat him senseless, send his buddies through a wormhole, kill off his best friend—it doesn’t fucking matter, Jason doesn’t stay down, he keeps getting back up. He doesn’t have a stable support system, he’s not a billionaire, he isn’t friends with half the superheroes on the planet, he doesn’t have an assassin cult waiting in the wings—he’s just a guy from Gotham who doesn’t know how to quit, even if it quite literally kills him. To me, the meta thing takes away from that. It softens the tenacity and grit that makes Jason’s story so visceral and compelling.

This is not meant to take away from your (or anyone’s) enjoyment of Jason with meta powers. It’s just not for me, I guess.

A meta-adjacent idea that I do really go for, though, is the idea of a sentient Gotham with a deep connection to Jason. She speaks to him, she breathes life back into him to, she calls him home. She’s not going to relinquish her claim on her chosen avatar until she’s good and ready. Now that sends shivers down my spine.

#keen converses #jay is gotham’s chosen avatar #jason todd #red hood #batfam thoughts

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ryuichirou · 11 months

Note

Everyones fav sex position?

I’m slowly but surely replying to all the old stuff, so once again, thank you for being patient..!

It is a good question, Anon. It’s a bit difficult to answer because I look at the cast and go “but I want everyone to do everything” lol, but I still tried my best to narrow it down a little.

Soooo.

Riddle kind of prefers missionary, at least it feels the most proper to him, but once he is forced to try something different, he’ll be amazed by how much better it feels for him. He’ll never admit that though. Ace prefers doggie, Deuce prefers missionary, and this is a source of conflict for these two. Ace also wants Deuce to do the cowgirl thing, but Deuce refuses: it’s too embarrassing. Trey is a bit of a dark horse, but he actually enjoys missionary too. Cater is always the most difficult for us to talk about, but for some reason I feel like he is a doggie guy.

The Savanaclaw guys prefer doggie in general (even though Ruggie likes to get scratches on his back from his partner), but Jack is actually more of a missionary guy. He just loves hugging and kissing, I guess, but the wolf inside him still makes him choose doggie as a default option.

Azul would enjoy cowgirl in theory, it would make him feel powerful + doesn’t require as much stamina from him, but in practice he is too much of a control freak to let anyone do anything, so he actually likes the missionary position more. The tweels are an interesting case, because they are kind of unhinged when it comes to sex positions, especially Floyd. Floyd just does whatever he feels like, and a lot of times the position he chooses is kind of uncomfortable. He also loves to lift his partner and fuck him against the wall. Jade is pretty much the same way, but I’ll note that he really loves seeing his partner’s face when he tortures I mean fucks him.

Kalim loves is when his partner sits on his dick, but he rolls around a lot, so there is no way he won’t change positions a bunch of times. Jamil, to his own embarrassment, really likes it when he is being taken from behind.

Vil has enough stamina and athletic ability to perform a cowgirl, and he controls his muscles very well, so it’d feel amazing for his partner. But he actually loves changing positions during the intercourse, leaning towards the doggie though. Rook loves kissing and hugging, but he is more animalistic that one would expect, so his go-to is doggie. But he also made it his goal to have sex in every possible position, and he is currently going through the list…

Epel is the type to try to do a cowgirl just to prove a point, get tired because this is much more difficult than he anticipated. He’ll end up getting fucked in a missionary position though, which is good, because he enjoys feeling the weight of a big guy on top of himself.

Idia loves doggie because he can hide his face that way. Of course, the colour of his hair makes his reactions way too obvious anyway, but still… there is some comfort, at least. But his back gets tired, so sometimes he gets finished off in a missionary position. Ortho does literally whatever his heart desires, he is one of the “I want to do every pose” squad. He downloaded a lot of data for that, and all.

Malleus prefers missionary, he really really enjoys maximizing the connection between himself and his partner, so hugs, kisses, hand-holding, it’s on. Sebek prefers missionary too, at least when he is with Malleus: the thought of taking his liege in such a shameful and degrading position that is doggie is too insulting to even think about. Malleus wouldn’t get insulted though…

Lilia is similar to the tweels: he does whatever he wants, but quite enjoys the degrading aspect of whatever position he chooses. He would grab the neck, pull the hair, stuff like that.

Silver probably doesn’t have a favourite pose, he’ll do whatever his partner chooses to do. He is also quite good at cowgirl and has a great stamina for it. And it’s not like he prefers it, but it’s more difficult for him to fall asleep if he is doing something, so…

#replies #headcanons

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mostgeckcellent · 2 years

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The revelation that Rue called off the marriage and the subsequent argument/confession is so.. something.

There's so much being said about it and it's got me wanting to sort it out for myself instead of just reblogging other people's thoughts.

I don't think this is a rue vs hob, who was right, situation.

I think that Rue's actions in calling off the wedding were selfish and nearsighted; it had no effect on the court of wonder, but had a huge effect on the goblin court, and truly it was none of Rue's business. People marry for reasons other than love and that's okay!

HOWEVER

you also can't argue with their desire to tear down the courts because like. the goblin court does objectively treat Hob badly. The court of wonder does treat Rue badly. The unseelie treats Andhera badly. The courts have been shown to be petty and power-obsessed at the cost of their own people and of course they are.

I've seen Rue's choice compared to Wuvvy, both making decisions on what they think is best for others and taking their choices away. I think that's.. fair. I think they both have a blindspot.

Rue has had a very bad no good day, they're under a lot of pressure, they're experiencing A Lot, and there's miscommunications everywhere. I think they made a bad choice before they met Hob, before they really let themselves be known and to know others, and I think they might make a different choice, now, with the context.

I also think Hob has a right to be angry! Rue's actions undid something that came from his successes. It hurt him, even if the goblin court has also hurt him, even if that's complicated. He seems to genuinely care about Grabalba!

And he's been treated this way for so long, of course it's hard, nigh impossible, to unsee it. Of course it feels like Rue must have been using him too. Of course he can't fathom choosing himself, as Rue has been begging him to do - he doesn't know that choosing himself could mean choosing Rue, but he doesn't know how to exist outside of service, and I think this episode makes that especially clear.

Hob will go to unhealthy lengths for those he feels loyalty or duty to. He hurts himself to get evidence, he hurts himself to carry someone's bags when he's bleeding, who's to say he wouldn't wind up scarily similar to Wuvvy, existing only to be of service to Rue? Who we know for a fact doesn't want that?

I think most of all, this episode shows, explicitly, how they've been talking around each other for so long.

Hob loves in acts of service - sometimes to an unhealthy degree, but his love language isn't the problem, it's the depths to which he feels he has to go due to his own low self-worth.

Rue is learning self-worth and is currently valuing that above all else.

Of course that causes conflict! I think they can both learn from each other and temper each other, but right now, neither of them understands where the other is coming from - Hob interpreted Rue's motivation as service where it was love. Rue is interpreting all service as Bad now, which again, fair, given their circumstances, but not fair to Hob.

They're having a bunch of separate conversations and none of them are overlapping the way they think it is, and it's hurting them both. And there's only one episode left, so there's no way to fully, totally resolve these massive divides, but I do think they can start on the path. I think we can see them have a happy ending, in which it's clear they're Working On It - both of them.

#acofaf #acofaf spoils #a court of fey and flowers #ruehob #battlemaster of ceremonies #dimension 20 #episode 9: a theater of war

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otdderamin · 1 year

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Analysis: Essek's Accent As The Shadowhand Fades

I'm watching the Essek Supercut again, and I noticed Essek's accent and when it starts to settle.

Watch the first few clips, until about about 0:4:40

youtube

Mostly this is just Matt settling into Essek's voice, but when he was first introduced, Essek had a very stern authoritative court voice. But once they were in the antichamber together, and Fjord says they need to check their underwear for accidents after that first interaction with the Queen and made him laugh, Essek slips into what we hear as his personal accent.

Essek really did just make up this version of himself to be as successful as everyone pushed him to be, and make really selfish choices to protect that act. But those personas ultimately felt like lies about himself. So what difference does it make protecting it with more lies? Which led himself down some really dark paths until Thw Mighty Nein discovered him and it all unraveled.

Essek is a dramatic theater gay who pulled off a character so well he couldn't stop playing him even when it was turning into a Shakespearean tragedy. Everything he says in these early days is so intensely dramatic and selling his vast accomplishments. Essek is giving them a list of reasons to respect him because he doesn't think his inner self is respectable. Essek always felt like it was the lies people loved and not him underneath, so what would hurt people more would be trying to stop. To be anything less than ruthless.

But this bunch of goofballs, whose very first direct comment to him was a self-depricating joke about being scared, they broke through. And what broke his heart most on that ship, was knowing he'd let them down with those lies. Because he'd let them see his true self, like he hadn't done for anyone in years (decades?), and they loved that one the most. Especially Caleb because they'd shared that instant attraction and interest Essek almost wasn't sure he could feel.

So after he was caught, even if Caleb was telling Essek he could choose to be better, he was obviously hurt and mistrustful and not calling. And feeling like he couldn't go back ate at him.

But then The Mighty Nein call on him again for help with their more dangerous thing ever. These weirdos are going to run headlong into danger not for gain or glory but because it stops someone else making a catastrophic mistake. And they want him to come with them. They want him to show them he's changed. And he has.

And even if they fight it, that attraction is still like magnets. They're so scared of hurting each other again or getting hurt, they can talk in meaningful coded riddles with each other, but not dare cross the threshold where they can hold that pull back. Where they'd have to find out if they enable or temper their worst impulses.

They didn't get there before they parted ways after Aeor. But we know that sometime in the last six months they let themselves pull together. They go back to Aeor to know what it feels like to just be together, the two of them, if no one at all was there. Caleb, down on one knee, holding a magic ring, "[Essek Thelyss], I know we're not relationship people, but will you date me for three months, and then we'll reassess?"

And it worked. Maybe being apart much of the time helps them get perspective on the world outside themselves and the freedom to lead two very different lives. The Essek who visits the man with green beans, no longer sounds quite like the Shadowhand did. He found how to use his power in the world more responsibly, when only a handful of people will hear about it, but they will listen so much closer, and see him more than any accomplishment. With the bustle and fear of the world shut out.

#Critical Role #essek thelyss #the mighty nein reunited #Shadowgast #Critical role meta #critical role analysis #analysis #Youtube

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after-witch · 1 year

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Can I ask what your thoughts are on Derek and Mason? I know you said ren was the easiest to put in a yandere sense. So where do those two fall?

note: discussions of torture, noncon

I don't have much thoughts about Mason, admittedly his route is super hard for me and I only played it a few times. I really ought to watch a bunch of playthroughs of his routes!

For Derek though... oh Derek. Oh, you stupid, horrible entitled jackass. I hate him so much and I love him so much!

He's an asshole. Even if he wasn't a murderer, he would be an asshole. He's a spoiled, entitled rich douchebag whose father encourages and cultivates his entitled personality to the nth degree. He's the type of guy to do awful things and pay his way out of being punished for them.

What I love about Derek is that he's not yandere. He doesn't bring you home (in that ending) because he wants you and loves you. He brings you home because he owns you and he is going to torture you as payback, a much more satisfying revenge than simply killing you outright. You'll be begging for death eventually. I mean, did you think you could stab him and just get away with it? He really does pick the dumb ones...

But! But but. I do think that Derek has the ability to, to paraphrase the creator, get attached this little punching bag in some circumstances. Maybe you start getting attached to him. Maybe sometimes when he fucks you, you don't squirm as much when he kisses you, maybe you kiss him back. Maybe when he's done you instinctively wrap your arms around him for a moment.

Maybe he comes back into his room and bitches about his dad, you make a little remark that shows you listen when he rants to you about all the shit he puts up with, and sympathize with him. Something like, "That's not right, he knows that you have so much on your plate..." or anything that puffs up his ego while making him realize you're on his side in this one.

And... hey, that's kind of cute, isn't it? That you listen to him and don't just piss your pants in fear? That you recognize he's in the right and his dick of a dad (or brother, or whoever he's complaining about) is wrong? Heh.

Maybe he won't kill you after all. Maybe he'll just... keep you. Like a pet that he owns because, well, you belong to him, anyway. He can choose to keep you alive just as much as he can choose to kill you, right?

He's still going to hurt you. Why? Because he can, duh. Because he wants to. Because you can't do anything about it. He'd use the "I'm big and you're small, I'm right and you're wrong" speech from the Matilda movie unironically if he had better taste in films.

Besides, after you've been with him so long, he's the only one you have to turn to when you want anything resembling softness and affection, not that you'll get what you're looking for from him--and he looooves that power dynamic. It makes him hard. Fuck, he loves it. You practically melt if he just holds you and strokes your cheek, even if it's followed up by something awful.

I think he'd also be tempted to bring you along to later hunts, too. Maybe keep you on your toes... tease you with the idea of being replaced to see what you do. "What about her? Should I bring her home?" And if he can see you bristle, if he see tears prick your eyes, if you cling tighter to him on his bike and beg muffled words into his back that you don't want him to bring her home, he lo-o-o-oves it. Probably make you help him kill that person, too, just to drive the point home.

Anyway I love Derek he is the worst, he's a little shit, he's awful. Love him for it.

#derek goffard #the price of flesh

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theinstagrahame · 7 months

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Not to go all Game Designer on Main (too late, I know), but again found myself thinking about D&D as a game, and again... failing to see the appeal.

By volume, combat accounts for like 75-80% of the rules. I find the combat system ponderous and dull, which means I tend to avoid it at all costs. I just don't find it fun to wait 10 minutes for my turn to Do the Cool Thing on my character sheet, find that the opportunity passed 2 turns ago, and whiff my basic attack *again*.

But this leaves us with about 25% of the rulebook being dedicated to everything else, including a lot of the rules people always tell you you can ignore (encumbrance, lifestyle, food and water, etc). What's left is a bunch of stuff that I find interesting (sneaking, animal handling, perception, deception, acrobatics, sleight of hand, and a bunch of other stuff). But, we again run into mechanics that I am not interested in:

1d20 + Modifier vs Difficulty

The DMG doesn't have a ton of guidance for how to set Difficulty (not no guidance, but also not much I found helpful when running), so it feels very arbitrary. Players also don't have a wealth of resources to impact that roll, outside of Advantage/Disadvantage (which is probably why people are always asking if they have it).

And the outcome is usually either: you do the thing OR you do not do the thing. Which, depending on context, could be interesting, but could also be boring, or possibly soft-lock some content behind a door you can't open.

Plus, I think other systems do it better. Here are some other systems I'm familiar with, and how they do it (I think) better:

One of the core ideas of PbtA games is that whenever the players touch the dice, something in the world should change. So, something as simple as picking a locked door becomes way more interesting, because if you fail, you could: Alert guards to your presence, Take harm, Lose something valuable, or Whatever Else the GM Comes Up With.

We are still looking at a roll:

2d6 + Modifier vs 2-6 Fail; 7-9 Mixed Success; 10+ Full Success

Adding that extra layer of success changes a lot. Mixed Success adds a lot of Narrative Juice, because in addition to the players' success, their situation can get worse. Statistically, 7-9 is also more likely than the other two outcomes (I think? I did get a D in stats in college), meaning you can succeed but also make things a lot worse for yourself in a few rolls.

But another neat design element is: moves with triggers. Players can choose moves during character creation that also impact how things progress. The move might trigger "When you pick a lock" or "When you fail to pick a lock", and then give the player or the GM some kind of tool to use during that situation. Sometimes it's just a tweak to the modifier, sometimes it's another option for the outcome. In some cases even it's "whenever you pick a lock, the door always opens; but on a failure, the worst possible thing is on the other side."

Now, picking a lock is a really interesting choice.

Special Case: Monster of the Week

MotW in particular has a neat additional mechanic: Luck. Players can spend their Luck resource several times per campaign (usually 7), and declare that a roll was a Full Success. The resource is Limited, and the book tells GMs that players who run out are Doomed, which makes it a capital-D Decision every time someone uses it. This forces us to wonder: Is this lock *worth* picking? Is it Mission-critical, or can we find another way in?

Forged in the Dark

As a system, FitD is very much drawn from Apocalypse games, and has some similar ideas behind it. But, we have some interesting changes.

First, a roll is a bit more of a process:

Describe your process. Work with the GM to determine what kind of roll you're doing. (This is interesting, because different skills have different statistical ratings, but also because they can change the outcome. You could "Engineer" the door lock open, or you could "Wreck" it; both will get you past the door, but one may take more time, while the other may leave more evidence).

Determine Position and Effect. If it goes well, how well does it go? If it breaks bad, how bad does it go? (Knowing the stakes up front helps you make a decision about what resources to commit, and feels realistic, in that your character would be able to foresee some possible outcomes).

Assemble a dice pool, based on your rating and any resources you're spending. (Dice pools are already a different mechanic, but you also have resources to increase your odds. All characters usually have Stress or a similar resource, which you can spend for extra dice, position, or effect--or that your colleagues can spend to help you out).

Roll the dice. Look for the highest result (or Lowest if your rating is low). Again, we're looking at Success/Mixed Success/Fail. Things change in the world based on it. (FitD games also use a lot of clocks and tracks, and typically a Mixed Success or Failure ticks up some of the "Bad" clocks, and Successes or Mixed Successes tick up "Good" clocks. Some of these clocks are secret, and some are open, which gives players a sense of how their actions have consequences.)

Resist consequences. You can also spend stress to undo some of the negative aspects of a roll. (If the GM introduces a bad consequence, such as "You set off the alarm while picking the lock", you can roll and take stress to say "Actually I stopped that.")

There are also PbtA-style moves with triggers, but the dice mechanic here is already doing a lot. I like that the stakes are written up front, and it also encourages the GM to come with some ideas for what could go wrong, but not plan too much (Which I also really hate doing anyway; planning is hard!)

It feels like a lot written down, but genuinely when you're playing, it feels very smooth. It also helps keep people engaged, because the options to help are more at the forefront, and the outcomes impact everyone equally.

No Dice No Masters / Belonging Outside Belonging

This one is a slightly odd case, but it also draws from the PbtA design philosophy. Generally BoB games are GMless, so we're already putting everyone's hand on the narrative ball in a different way.

Your character sheet will probably have something like the following:

Strong Move (Spend 1 token to...)

Succeed without any negative consequences

Basic Move (You can always)

Complete a task, but draw unwanted attention

Weak move (Gain 1 Token when you)

Completely fail at a task and draw unwanted attention

Let's assume you already have 1 Token, and you want to pick the lock.

You could do it. But, you can also talk to the rest of the table and ask: "Hey, is it narratively interesting if I succeed here? Or are things going a little too smooth, and should we mix things up?"

This is probably one of the things that trips new NDNM players up, because it's so unlike other systems. You can choose the outcome! You and your fellow players are encouraged to "Metagame". You're telling a story with your friends, and it can be the story you think is cool.

Resistance System

(as seen in Heart and Spire)

Resistance is another dice pool system that uses Stress, with d10s instead of d6s. There are also moves, as in other systems. But, there are a few interesting things that I think are worth looking at.

Characters have Skills that they're good at, and Domains that they're familiar with. A Skill is going to be something like your Lockpicking (or a more general, like, mechanics skill), while the Domain is going to be related to the area you're in. The locks in a "Technology" domain are going to be different than those in a "Haven" or "Wilderness" domain (I don't remember the exact terms, so I'm kinda fudging them).

So, as you assemble the dice pool, you get bonuses if you have the right Domain and Skill. You can also get a die for help from other players, as well as a die for a Knack: Something you're especially good at. The roll ends up being:

1d10 + 1d10 (if a relevant skill) + 1d10 (domain) + 1d10 (if getting help) + 1d10 (knack) (- dice for difficulty) = Success +/- Stress.

(With a gradient, where low results give you stress with no success, and higher rolls give you success with no stress, and all results in between)

The Stress is what's interesting, instead of being a resource, it's closer to your HP, but you have different kinds of it. So the GM will tell you up front what kind of stress you're taking. After you take any stress (and there are ways to not take stress, or take less of it), you roll again to see if you get fallout.

Fallout can be temporary or permanent, and usually has a mechanical consequence. Fallout can also take different levels, and upgrade over time. It does give each roll a sense that the player is pushing their luck, and hoping the fallout doesn't take hold. This makes the rolls feel very significant, because even picking a lock badly could turn into a Fallout; so is it worth taking that kind of a risk?

----

And this is just three categories of games that I think do it in a more interesting way. There are a ton of other games out there, many of which I've never even played, so I don't know how they work. I also think there are ways to spice up a 1d20+mod roll in interesting ways, but generally, I prefer that kind of stuff.

#indie ttrpgs #ttrpg dev #ttrpg design #ttrpg

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dumpster-dive-reading · 2 years

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A weird overview of the "Human Domestication Guide" shared universe

I was browsing AO3 the other day looking for fics centered around hypnosis, I kept finding stories with cool looking prompts and a shared fandom: Human Domestication Guide/ Original Work

The premise for a lot of them was really promising: a bunch of aliens using mind control on humans to make them their pets? So, I checked it out.

In two days, I've spent probably 14 hours reading HDG fics. I have work to do, I can't be doing this! If only those plant aliens could give me some ADHD medication, amiright?

I think that the premise and where authors choose to write with it is kind of an interesting dynamic. What sounds like a great concept for a psychological horror/ thriller is a community that writes a lot of fluff. I love it.

I think a lot of the concepts for HDG are used for wish fulfillment. The main character is trans, and is suddenly given access to gender affirming healthcare and compassion. The main character is sick, and is suddenly cared for without compromising themselves (more on this later). The main character is lonely, and suddenly their thrust into a very loving and compassionate environment.

That's where I think a lot of the appeal is for HDG. Above everything else, the hot plant people just want to love you, and care for you, and help you become your best self. It touches a craving within all of us- the desire to be loved.

But after reading a fair amount of HDG fics, there's one question that keeps nagging at me: Would you really want to be a floret to an Affini?

The thing about the affini is that they don't see sophants as their equals. They keep other species as pets. They use drugs to bend a person's mind to their will, sometimes without the person's consent. Are you okay with that? Are you okay with the consequences associated with it?

Becoming a floret to an Affini means that you're bound to them. It ties you to their presence, to the extent that it is incredibly difficult to live without them. In "A Danger to Oneself and Others" we get a really good look at what a floret is without their Affini. It's not a pretty picture. After being forcibly taken from the plant people, the florets are shattered. They huddle together in a group and cry, incredibly depressed, in a state of confusion and chaos. Even the ex-military Clara ends up breaking down a few times, and is only able to save them out of a desire to protect the other florets and get them home. "Stages of Succession" describes a stubborn general being domesticated almost exclusively through their implant. The human finds that they need to spend a certain amount of time with their Affini every single day- going from one hour to two in the early parts of the fic. They end up looking into the Affini's eyes, and end up in a hypnotic trance. After that, they end up craving looking into the Affini's eyes again. Despite their hatred for the Affini, the human ends up craving her touch, to the point that it becomes painful to be away for too long.

On top of that, the person will often end up very dependent on their Affini. As in "they take care of every one of my needs" levels of dependent.

That's a powerful general, and an Affini that isn't using their xenodrugs.

Plus, there's the mental manipulation that Affini can do. They can block out certain thoughts, and put ones into a person's brain. It's used in Wellness Check to prevent the main character from self depricating. They can create, edit, remove, and restore memories. In Wellness Check, the main character loses their memory of becoming a floret.

That's one of the most terrifying concepts in HDG: the idea of being controlled without being aware that you're being controlled.

There's another short called "sleepy bitch" where the character has narcolepsy and just really wants to sleep all the time. They end up turning into a cat, much to the shock of their friend. It's clear that they like being a cat, but still. Their friend also becomes a cat, and the Affini ends up tying their minds together, making the narcolepsy spread to her friend.

...but at the same time...

It's clear that the humans in HDG are better off after the Affini invade. The terran world is objectively kind of terrible: it's like super-ultra-mega-death-capitalism. Fighting for the Terran defense sounds objectively terrible. "Lost in Eden" describes the conditions on a good terran warship: it's falling apart, cramped, bad food, full of transphobes and toxic masculinity, oh yeah and the entire ship explodes because it's in disrepair.

It isn't the only mind control we see either. "Black Start" describes Terran war conditions, where the solider has little to no memories and has been hypnotised. They then end up being influenced by another alien tech, which takes over their mind and conditions them into becoming a robot. Even after the human is rescued by the Affini, the robot is still there. They say they don't mind, that life is better this way.

It's still kind of terrifying.

To lose all of your indiduality and be sworn into a obedience and subservience to your master. To have someone control your thoughts, to the extent that if you ever have a thought they don't agree with they make you unaware you'd ever thought it. To be formed into a pet, sometimes striped of your ability to do anything at all.

But you're loved. Isn't that worth it?

#human domestication guide #hdg #I've read so much #so much book

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remington-zero · 8 months

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Just wanted to say first off that I love your artwork so much and it’s so fun to just scroll through. I’ve also become curious about playing 커뮤/commu (or trying to put one together) and would love to learn more about how they work.

Like for instance, how do character sheets and classes/powers work for a system that seems very open RP-based? Is there a particular omni-genre sheet or system that people often use for 커뮤? Or is that that something entirely up to the admins?

Give my love to Nero, Soren, and ESPECIALLY Charlotte

in the end it's very much like an dnd server on discord! except it's public and usually very short term (7-30 days)

essentially a commu is like a tabletop rpg with as much dice as you want, the admin team is the dm/npcs, and you recruit members based on their character sheet that they submit based on the template you make

so the foundational pillar is the admin team, which:

does all the worldbuilding, including setting boundaries and parameters for the characters

sets an event schedule and/or sets up a plot -- there's some really casual ones you go with your friend you ship your OCs with where they do couple games, and then there's one i just got out of that had time loops and also forced us to choose between executing a bunch of innocent people and completing our mission which was pretty intense

basically you are writing an rpg one-shot module! it can be as complex or as simple as you want, i've gone to ones that had stats and ones that didn't. this essentially means that you are writing a whole system! so if you want to include combat, you...are probably making a combat system from scratch, which means you usually have to also think about balance

you also probably want to determine a rating. most of the ones i went to were pg13 but there's specific ones rated R for either gore/violence or ERP

often people make a temporary website with notices, world info, rules, character sheet templates, and FAQs

the admin also moderates. if someone's being unfairly left out, you give a general warning, for example, or if someone is being an asshole you give them one strike, etc.

then you make a template for applicants and essentially pick the ones you think will make for the best story. historically, this has caused some drama. there is so much drama in commu

usually the commus that incorporated stats had specific roles (dps/tank/healer) and you had up to a certain amount of stat points that affected your skills (so a dps character might calculate their damage by idk ((attack)d6)/2) or something). so the roles would be part of the character application template, and the applicant would distribute the stats how they wanted it

so yes, in the end, the sheet is entirely up to the admin, and the applicants generally get creative within the space you create! soren, for example, had a power ranking (A), role (tank), reason for participating in the commu storyline (he didn't care but his friends did so he's doing it on their behalf) but i made up his ability (turns into a gryphon) and stuff about his family, past traumas, etc.

while the commu is running, applicants generally RP with each other and make their own relationships and mini plotlines (soren is now bffs with another character because they both lost siblings/students) but the admin administers a scheduled plot to keep things moving (nero, for example, was part of a group that went around stopping monster dungeons around the world so every week the admins would say ok they're going to peru now. and then florida.)

while commus are usually short, sometimes they have like...seasons? one of my friends ran one based on the uma musume setting and recently they did a season 2 of the same commu with new applicants

back when twitter was whole, two comms i went to also had a sparring system using a bot and keywords (so you'd type [attack] or [evade] or whatever and depending on your character's stats, which the admin entered into the bot, you'd get an automated reply that gave you the result of your actions), gacha (same as above, and also included things like...pet eggs and equipment and whatnot), a store with potions/etc., i know one that had like literal mini-rooms with pixel furnitures that people could buy through currencies earned doing daily quests or whatever....that was really intense though lmao people usually do not go that far

commus also often have like....specific disclaimers written for good reason, usually to do with code of conduct and not being bigoted/being inclusive (unfortunately female characters often get ignored in rp, and also oh my god so much casual bigotry)

TL;DR making a commu is essentially writing a whole oneshot module that you're publicly recruiting players for! honestly though it is a Lot of work setting it up and then maintaining it even for the short time it runs

#long post #text #anon #replies #the one i just went to also had diff buffs depending on the rank since it was a military-style setup #since my character was a corporal he had a 1.2 buff to defense #also you would not believe the shit that goes down on commus #it has ended friendships and also has revealed people's asses #i'm so glad you like charlerusse!!!!!!!! she's my baby

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