#sorry im being down bad again someone sedate me | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

moefongo · 1 year

Note

Sorry for using an ask, but my app wouldn't let me make a submission for some reason. Writing through the block is always the best method, take that crap head-on. If you feel like it, what about how the various bachelor's react to the supposed death of builder (after they've been romanced) from the new update.

If you feel like it, no rush, and even if you don't, thanks anyway! Have a lovely day!

Don't worry anon, tumblr is weird like that. And yeah you're right I've even worked on really old asks i had half way through because i couldn't bring myself to write anything and its worked so far! And this is right up my alley since I do love some angst, though i wont write for Fang since I have a whole fic dedicated to this and Justice since I have something related to this for him as well, so I hope its ok w you!

Oh yeah and if you want a whole fic about any of these im down to do it lol

The bachelors (romanced) reacting to the builder's death (Part 1)

I'm putting this under a cut for spoilers!

(Also trigger warning for suicidal thoughts and mentions of suicide its nothing too explicit but i just want to make sure to tag things properly! If you want me to add any other tag let me know, thanks!)

Arvio

They had told him the night before that they had an important mission with the Civil Corps early in the morning and Arvio had a terrible feeling about it ever since they told him. He barely slept that night, he even prayed to the Light to keep them safe. Which is something he never does since Arvio isn't really a man of religion, but he really wanted them to be safe.

The next day, everything was normal and he hoped everything went well with the builder so he went to work as usual since he had no choice but to wait for them to visit him after the mission was over. They never really told him what it was, just that it was related to Logan. The morning passed quickly, but there was an unpleasant atmosphere in town that day. It wasn't even 1 pm when Justice told Arvio the terrible news. He had been the first to know and the town followed suit when Arvio's screaming and crying could be heard all over Sandrock.

Arvio wanted to die in that same moment that Justice finished talking, he just wanted to run and jump off the same cliff they fell from and join them. He couldn't bear to accept the fact that they're gone.

Things got so intense with Arvio that Fang had to go and sedate him. Fortunately the builder came back relatively unscathed aside from a few cuts and bruises and found out about what happened with Arvio and decided to stay with him until he woke up.

Once he did, he swore that it was the builder's spirit visiting and since he was still a bit loopy he broke down to cry again despite the builder hugging him so he could feel that they were there with him. Then when he came back to his senses, Arvio refused to leave the builder alone and forbade the Civil Corps from taking them to dangerous missions again.

Burgess

This surely had to be a bad joke, Burgess knew nothing could happen to the builder. He had been praying all morning for their well being so it was impossible for them to have passed.

But no matter how many times Matilda or Miguel explained it to him, the poor soul always remained optimistic on their return, hoping that the builder would prove them wrong and come back to Burgess's side.

However deep down, way below that denial, Burgess knew that his prayers went unheard and that the Light abandoned him just when he needed it the most. He prayed and prayed for a safe return and all he got was condolences.

Burgess did cry and uncharacteristically questioned the Light's reason for their passing and no matter how many times Miguel or Matilda told him that it had been the Light's purpose, Burgess refused to accept it. In fact those words angered him, how could such a loving and benevolent deity let something so awful happen, especially to someone as good as the builder.

But since the Light works in mysterious ways, the builder managed to scramble back to town before sundown. They were exhausted, roughed up and dirty and all they wanted was to nap with Burgess for a while. And despite everyone's concern to stay home they made their way back to the church where Burgess was still praying.

It was kind of dramatic, the builder swung the church doors open and surprised Burgess turned around to see who it was and as soon as he realized it was them he ran up to them, enveloping them in a gentle hug. Still wrapped in his hug, the builder couldn't help but to break down in tears as they apologized over and over for making him think they were dead. But he didn't care about that anymore, the builder was back and the Light was true to its word and brought them back safe and sound.

Then they spent the rest of the day being taken care of by Burgess, who helped them get clean and comfy and then settled in to sleep with them.

Ernest

He really hated this Podunk town and its lack of basic commodities, but the only one who made the stay worthwhile was the builder. He had high hopes of convincing them of ditching Sandrock and moving to Atara with him; he wanted to make sure they had everything their heart desired, including the best work opportunities.

Unfortunately this silly little dream of his would be crushed when he found out the builder had died. Ernest was dumbfounded at the level of incompetence of the Civil Corps. He wasn't angry, he was fuming and it was damn sure that there would be hell to pay in Sandrock.

By the time Unsuur left his apartment, Ernest was already writing a hefty letter, reporting the Civil Corps for their ineptitude. It was a hefty letter, spanning at least three pages. Once that letter was done, he packed his bags hastily as he fought back tears.

For the first time, someone liked him for who he was and not for his wealth. They were kind, sweet and genuine, and they made Ernest a better person, and most importantly, they became that light in his life they were looking for and now that light is gone.

He spent less than an hour getting everything packed and made his way to the train station. He had finished buying the ticket for the next train to Atara when he saw the builder running back to the town. At first he thought it was his mind playing tricks on him, but as they approached, Ernest was able to recognize their form and instinctively ran to them, leaving his bags at the station.

Ernest ran as fast as possible and stopped the builder dead in their tracks. They looked like they had seen better days, but that doesn't matter now, they were right there in front of him and a sense of relief washed over him as he grabbed their hand and ran back to the station, he was now intending to buy a ticket for them and take them to Atara. He wasn't going to let them get hurt again in this town. But thanks to the builder's persuasion he ended up staying in Sandrock for now. However he was still going to send that letter after he edited out the parts where he stated that the builder was dead.

Miguel

Out of all the members of the church, he had to stand on the stage alongside Matilda, who gave out an eulogy for them. Miguel had to do his absolute best to keep it together as per Matilda's request but if it were for him he would've searched for their body instead. Miguel felt absolutely horrible at that moment, feeling as if his heart had been ripped right out of his chest, but perhaps it was the Light giving him the strength to stand there.

Though occasionally during the eulogy, he managed to catch on to comments others said about how he doesn't look devastated to know that his lover is dead. Fools they are, Miguel loves the builder more than anything, except the Light above. If they knew the pain he is going through right now, that ignorant bunch wouldn't dare to say such things.

Thankfully, the Light performed a miracle in front of his eyes and the builder came in running towards the stage. Once up there they stopped to catch their breath since they had been running the whole way back. But before addressing the concerned citizens they hugged Miguel as tight as possible and in return Miguel let go of his typical decorum and simply broke down in tears as he held on to them for dear life. He didn't care if it made him look unbecoming of a minister to break down like this but his beloved builder was back and that was all that mattered.

However he made sure to give the Civil Corps a stern lecture on safety procedures as well as on rescue procedures since he didn't want this to happen again.

Owen

How the hell did Justice allow something like this to happen? If Justice promised to keep them safe out on missions and he couldn't even do that? It was a simple request and Justice fucked it up. That day as soon as Justice came by to tell him the unfortunate news Owen broke down. He didn't know if he should cry or be angry. He didn't even let Justice finish talking and he was already screaming at Justice to leave the Blue Moon. It was rather rare to see Owen like this and even Grace who witnessed the whole thing.

It was only a matter of seconds before Owen would start throwing things at Justice but luckily he ran off before Owen could throw a salt shaker at him.

Once Justice was gone, Owen dropped to his knees and began to cry inconsolably. Grace on the other hand was at a loss, she didn't know what to do with him at that moment since she obviously knew the builder was alright and she had to go meet up with them soon. So Grace suggested that they close the Blue Moon for the day since Owen wasn't in any condition to handle customers today. Somehow she managed to convince him and accompany Owen back to his place.

Owen was silent on the way back to his house, except a few sobs here and there. Though it was a short walk he wanted to pretend he hadn't cried just moments ago, despite looking like a mess. As soon as Grace shut the door she could hear Owen screaming and throwing things around his house. It devastated her to see him in this state but she couldn't do anything to comfort him for now.

About half an hour later, Burgess knocks on Owen's door and surprisingly Owen opens the door telling the poor Burgess to leave without even hearing what he has to say. Still he insisted Owen came by the outdoor stage because Matilda would be giving an eulogy for them soon. Owen remained quiet as he closed the door on Burgess's face.

After some consideration he washed his face and fixed himself to look presentable enough and headed out. Matilda's eulogy was lovely and Owen couldn't help but sob the whole time. Coincidentally Grace came back and stood next to him. She tried to cryptically let him know that the builder was on their way but he was too distraught to catch on and simply dismissed her comments as words of comfort.

Thankfully the builder didn't take too long in coming back to town, and they were going to head to the stage but before that, the builder felt a pair of strong arms take hold of them and wrap them in a hug. It was Owen, and he was crying of joy seeing that the builder was there with him. Him being happy was an understatement, Owen was beyond ecstatic. He was holding the builder in his arms and refused to let them go, despite the builder trying to break free from his grip.

Still though he was mad at Justice for what happened and if it weren't for Owen's busy schedule he would've gone and accompanied them in future Civil Corps missions just as a safety precaution. Or more likely Owen carried the builder so they don't get tired or hurt in any way. But he has to handle the Blue Moon so that only can happen in his dreams.

#my time at sandrock #mtas arvio #mtas burgess #mtas ernest #mtas miguel

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mirohtron · 3 years

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in the end (it does matter)

—

anonymous asked: Can you make a part 2 to lonely?👁👁

@sweet-sinner69 (tumblr pls let me tag them) @why-am-i-on-this-website-anyway and @selectivegeekwithstandards also requested for a part 2 hello im sorry for the tag but i spent four days on this i will not let my work go unseen /lh

first part here.

—

They didn't know how it exactly happened, but one second they were on the floor of their apartment, sobbing, begging hero to not hurt them, and then next they were sitting in the booth of a McDonald's, patched up as good as hero could do.

Plasters covered some cuts on villain's hands, the ones that hadn't scabbed over yet, and underneath their sweater, the gash on their arm was firmly wrapped with bandages.

It all happened too fast; villain's mind had been going a mile a minute, and hero had to calm them down and promise they wouldn't hurt them, and, in an attempt to not stay alone with hero and get kidnapped somehow, villain had requested they go outside. More like beg. Unprompted.

That was why hero was in their apartment in the first place, right? To get villain to hero's base? Or maybe eliminate them? Villain couldn't stomach that. Being in their room with hero had been near-asphyxiating, and villain's agency had told them time and time again that the heroes wouldn't hesitate to eliminate villains.

It was why they'd brought the two of them to the mall and made hero sit in a McDonald's booth with them. There were people. A lot of people. Hero wouldn't try to kidnap them in here, hopefully. Probably. They looked professional, trained for this. They wouldn't try anything that could harm civillians.

Something in villain's chest twisted. Something regretful, something pained.

They wished they were one of those civillians.

"Do you wanna order?" hero asked gently, hands at their sides and under the table.

Villain opened their mouth to answer, but their breath caught in their throat. Did they? They didn't know if they had an appetite or not, and eating with hero could still risk being sedated and taken to hero's base.

Their left hand furled into a fist.

"I—I don't have any money," they finally answered, voice a little raw. They'd forgotten to pick up their wallet in their hurry to toss their sweater on, not wanting to risk any stranger worrying about their bandaged arm. People were too kind sometimes, and even if that societal trait could help somebody, villain didn't want to risk anything.

"That's fine," hero assured, "I don't mind a little spending. Do you wanna check out the menu?"

Villain swallowed. They didn't realise their answer could count as a "yes."

Their gaze locked onto some part of the table between them, debating.

"...how did you get in?" villain asked instead. The question had been prodding their mind even before they had realised it was hero they were crying to. Were they that horrible at keeping their location a secret? Wouldn't that mean other heroes knew their location, too? What about villains?

Their blood ran cold.

"One of my colleagues placed a track you."

If possible, their blood ran colder.

"What?"

"They're a telepath," hero explained, seemingly not noticing villain's internal panic, "they put a tracker of sorts on you. Your location was determined from that."

Villain's throat felt parched. Did that mean the telepath could read their mind? Could they read their mind right now?

Some salty taste settled in the back of their mouth. They felt horribly seen. It was uncomfortable.

"Is it still on me?"

"No." Hero shook their head. "They took it off once we learned of your location."

"Oh." Villain looked at the few plasters on their knuckles. Maybe hero was lying, maybe the tracker was still on them. But they couldn't be sure. Hero hadn't tried anything malicious yet, they didn't look like they'd even hurt villain right now.

Perhaps it was because there were civillians here. They looked at one of the tiny scabs on their skin. Hero had hurt them in fights before, what would stop them from hurting villain later? What if they got home, and hero was there to beat them bloody?

They felt a little sick.

"Hey," hero said after a moment. Villain looked up, and they couldn't see a hint of malevolance in their expression. Hero looked a little guilty, on the contrary.

Hero glanced at villain's knuckles. "I—I didn't... know you were so scared. Of me." They looked at villain's knuckles again, brows furrowing, swallowing. "I was—I didn't... I'm sorry."

"Don't be."

Hero pursed their lips. They looked like they wanted to say something else, like they wanted to protest against villain's words, like they should be sorry, but instead they nodded, looking down at their lap.

Villain pressed the tips of their fingers up against their palm as the silence between them grew heavy.

"Why were you in my bed?" they asked next.

"You pulled me."

"...what?"

"I was expecting you to be awake," hero said, "but you were asleep. Then you, uhm, you pulled me. To the bed. I didn't want to wake you because you looked tired."

Villain pulled their hands to themself, wanting to look smaller. "Oh."

Who does that? Villain wanted to hold their head in their hands. Of course, their touch starved self would do that. Of course, since they hadn't had a nice touch in a long time, their sleeping state would want someone. They wanted to ask how long hero was stuck like that, hoping that maybe they awoke soon after, but instead,

"Why were you sent?"

that came out.

Hero laughed, like they were nervous. "I wanted to talk to you about that, actually," they said, looking them in the eye, "after you'd eaten something. I wanted you to be a little more relaxed."

Oh. Villain's breath hitched. No one really thought about their comfort anymore. They weren't expecting their archenemy to.

Tears pricked at the corner of their eyes, but villain desperately blinked them away. Oh.

Hero didn't seem to notice. They shifted in their seat, putting their hands on the table. "They told me you were harmless," they said, "after my colleague took away the mental track, they... We know it was an invasion of privacy, but."

Villain's stomach hollowed out. They read their mind, didn't they? Villain supposed they had to. Of course they would, if they were given the opportunity. All they knew was that villain was some spiteful nobody.

"You don't want to be a villain, do you?" they asked, searching villain's face for something.

Villain bit their bottom lip to stop it from quivering. They shook their head, fingers digging into the leather of their seat. They absolutely didn't. They'd choose to be a civillian over a villain over and over again, if they could.

"They said you couldn't handle it."

"I can't." Villain sniffled dryly, looking away. When had they started crying again? "I really can't."

"It'll be okay," hero said gently, "we want to take you in. For reforming. Do you want in?"

Villain's gaze snapped back up. Reforming?

They searched hero's face, looking for a lie. They hoped hero wasn't lying. Hero wouldn't lie about this, right?

The agency had always told them that heroes wouldn't want anything to do with villains. Maybe the agency was lying. They had to be, because otherwise hero would have taken villain out the second they'd laid their eyes on them, right?

A sob broke their throat, and hero had rounded the table and was by their side in an instant, holding them close and stroking their hair. Reforming? Could they be safe as a civillian now?

"I don't wanna get murdered in a dirty street corner," they said quietly, hiding in hero's neck again. They sniffled, fingers clutching their shirt desperately.

"I know, we’ll handle that for you," hero said, rubbing circles on their back soothingly, "I suppose that's a yes?"

Villain nodded, sobbing harder somehow. "It is," they said, "it's a yes."

They wouldn't have to hurt people anymore. That was good. It would be fine.

Hero told them it would be alright, that they'd just done what they needed to to get by, that they could leave villainy behind, and that the butterfly effect wouldn't be cruel to them anymore. Bad things wouldn't pile up anymore, and they wouldn't have to use their powers to hurt ever again.

“Do you wanna order?“

“Yeah.“

In the end, they got a free McDonald's meal and a lot of nice touch.

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supergirl-writingz · 4 years

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Kidnapped Part 2

B!D deals with recovery.

Note: the doctor being named dr grey isnt actually like mer or lexie i literally just watch too much greys and couldnt think of another name haha also THANK U FOR BEING SO PATIENT W ME im really proud of this fic tbh and i hope u guys like it:) remember requests are always open

Warning: trauma, anxiety, therapy

It’s been about one week since you were rescued. You were doing okay. Everyone was trying to convince you to see someone, to talk about what you went through. You didn’t get why. You realized you have been through something tragic, but wouldn’t it be easier to just put it in the past?

Physically, you still had a long way to go. You were still cooped up at the DEO and you would be for a little bit longer. You had bruises everywhere, 2 broken ribs, a concussion, and a broken bone in your foot. But Lena assured you that you were healing properly. You trusted her.

Your least favorite part about everything, was the way people were treating you. They treated you as if you were glass, and if they spoke to loud or even held your hand, they would break you. You didn’t feel broken and you didn’t get why everyone wanted you to be. Lena was the only one who would tell you things how they were, straightforward with no holding back. You appreciated it.

Lena walked into the room, “Hey hun can we talk?”

You nodded, “Of course Lena what’s up?”

Lena sat at the edge of your bed, “Darling I think you need to see someone, you-”

“Not you too” you interrupted rolling your eyes, “I’m fine, I don’t need to see anyone”

Lena was patient with you, with a calm voice she said, “Y/N you can’t keep bottling up your emotions, it’s not healthy. If you don’t let this out you’re gonna have a breakdown. You’re not fine and thats okay.”

“I am fine” you snapped at her.

“Y/N, you are scared to sleep without sedatives and you haven’t talked about what happened to you at all. Let me help you, please talk to me, or Kara or Alex or a specialist. Please”

You turned your head away from her. You were embarrassed but it was true, you were scared of going to bed without them.

“Don’t sedate me tonight, I’ll sleep just fine”

Lena sighed, “Okay”

As she walked out she turned around and said, “You know we’re all just trying to do what’s best for you right?”

You didn’t answer. Lena walked out looking sad and defeated. You felt bad, she’s helped you so much. But you were tired of people saying you weren’t okay. You thought about sleeping tonight without the sedatives, truthfully you were nervous but you didn’t tell anyone. Tonight was Kara’s turn to sleep in your room, and she always made you feel safe.

Later that night, around 11, you finally fell asleep after tossing and turning for a couple hours.

All of the sudden you woke up with a start not knowing where you were. You were screaming and your heart rate was through the roof. Kara instantly got up and rushed to you.

“Y/N baby it’s just a dream! You’re okay!” she said calmly but loud enough so it would get through to you.

It didn’t help. You were starting to hyperventilate. Kara put her face directly in front of yours.

“Look at my sweetheart, breathe like I do” Kara said, breathing in and out slowly for me to follow.

You looked Kara in the eyes and started following her breathing. 5 minutes later you were breathing normally. Lena and Alex came rushing in, someone must have called them.

“Baby what happened?” Alex asked with a concerned tone.

Tears were building up in your eyes, “I- I was back there.. in my dream”.

“The room where it all happened?” Lena asked. You nodded, tears starting to come quicker

“It was so real, I could feel every punch, every kick. It was like I was back there.” you said, at this point you were sobbing.

Alex came close to you and put her hand to your cheek, “You’re safe now Y/N, he can’t hurt you anymore”

You pulled Alex closer and cried into the crook of her neck. While Kara was strong and comforting, there was something about Alex that made you feel powerful and in control. She was such a good directer at the DEO, even if things in her life were bad. Even when everything was going wrong, she had control. You needed that. You needed to be in control of your emotions, but you didn’t know how. You realized now everyone was right, you weren’t okay. But you still didn’t like the idea of seeing a therapist of any kind. You just couldn’t imagine talking to a complete stranger about things you can’t talk about to the people closest to you.

You started to calm down and stopped crying. You looked up at Lena.

“I’m so sorry Lena”, you said.

“Darling you have nothing to be sorry for” she replied softly.

“I was so rude to you, you were just trying to help” you replied guiltily.

“You’re struggling little one, whether you know it or not, and there is absolutely nothing wrong with that. After what you’ve been through, we’d be more concerned if you weren’t struggling” Kara said.

“We just want you to feel better and we want you to know you have our constant support” Alex said.

You looked down and smiled softly. You didn’t know what you would do without these people. You didn’t think therapy was for you, but it seems like it would make them feel better, and who knows maybe it would make you feel better too.

“I’ll see someone”, you said quietly, “if you guys really think it will be good”

Alex smiled and said, “We’re only asking that you try”.

You got in a couple more hours of sleep before day time had come and it was too bright to sleep. You heard a knock at the door and looked up to see Lena and another woman you didn’t recognize.

“Hey hun, this is Dr. Grey, she works with people who have been through trauma” Lena said, trying not to overwhelm you.

She smiled a bright smile and said, “Hi, it’s nice to meet you”

You took a breath and remembered how you told Lena and your sisters you would give it a try.

You reached out your hand and said “Hi, I’m Y/N. It’s nice to meet you too”

Dr. Grey shook your hand then told you that Lena or your sisters could stay in the room, or it could be just them. You decided to give it a try alone with Dr. Grey. Lena understood and wished you good luck before leaving. You took a deep breath, talking to this stranger was making you feel anxious. You and Dr. Grey started talking, and quickly you felt more comfortable. You guys didn’t talk much about the kidnapping, she mostly just wanted to know your home and social life. You told her pretty much everything, from your sisters, your friends, Lena, and school. Dr. Grey was pretty easy to talk to. The only time the kidnapping did come up was when she suggested that you talk to your sisters or Lena about what happened. She said if it was out in the open, you might feel better. She made it very clear though that you should wait until you were ready. And just like that, your hour session was over before you knew it.

“Thank you Dr. Grey” you said.

She smiled warmly, “So we’ll be meeting again?”

You returned her smile and nodded.

About 2 weeks later, you were sitting in your bed at the DEO. You have been seeing Dr. Grey daily and it was helping a lot. All of the sudden Kara walked in and you smiled at her asked her to bring Alex and Lena into the room. Kara smiled and nodded, walking out of the room to get them. A few moments later, the three women walked in.

“So Dr. Grey thought that I should talk to at least someone about what happened, other than her. And I trust you guys more than anyone, so I want to tell you guys” you say, starting to feel a little anxious.

“That’s very sweet darling but we don’t wanna push you into talking about something you’re not ready to talk about” Lena said concerned.

You smiled, “I’m ready”, and they nodded.

You told them everything, from you walking home from school, to the guy grabbing you, to your surroundings, and on and on. You told them how they wanted to know who Supergirl was, and you shot Kara a warm look almost saying, ‘This isn’t your fault’. Kara gave you a small yet guilty smile. You took a deep breath as you started to talk about the torture. Your hands were shaking so Alex grabbed them into hers. You didn’t even realize you were crying until Kara wiped a tear from your cheek. You told them everything... you told them the beatings, about the whips and taser. You told them about the hunger, and how cold it was. You told them how you were so hopped up on drugs, you couldn’t even remember how you got there.

“The scariest part was when I lost hope, I truly thought I was gonna die there” you said. You finally looked up at them, Kara was crying just as much as you were. Lena and Alex had some tears too, but you could tell they were trying to be strong. You grabbed Kara’s hands and looked her in the eyes.

“But you saved me Kara, you’re the reason I’m still here” you said softly.

Kara pulled you into a hug and you felt her warmth and comfort, which then turned into pain from your ribs.

“Kara.. too tight” you said chuckling.

“Sorry” she laughed immediately letting go. The four of you sat there in silence for a while, enjoying each others company. Dr. Grey was right, you did feel better putting it all out there.

A few weeks later, you were making great progress. You were still having nightmares, but not every night. The anxiety meds you were taking were starting to help with the panic attacks too. You were still at the DEO, but you were starting to walk around though, with a boot and crutches. Your ribs were almost healed and your concussion was all gone.

You were doing great with Dr. Grey too. The only thing she was concerned with was that you didn’t want to leave the DEO. Of course you wanted to be at home, but you couldn’t get yourself to step out of the building. You felt safe in there. You had this fear that the man who took you would be out there, even though you knew he was in custody. Everyone tried to get you just to go on a simple walk outside, but your anxiety would kick in before you even got the chance. Today was going to be different, today you were determined to go outside. You haven’t been outside since Kara flew you to the DEO the day of the kidnapping, and you were barely conscious.. but today was different.

You asked Kara, Alex, and Lena if you could all go on a walk. They gave a little surprised look but didn't say anything, they probably didn’t want you to overthink it, but they realized how big of a deal this was. You guys were having a normal conversation, walking through the DEO. You stopped when you reached the exit. You felt Kara give your hand a little squeeze, letting you know that it’s okay. You took a deep breath, opened the door, and walked outside.

You were surprised as you felt the fresh air in your lungs. Everything looked greener than you remember. You spent so much time in the DEO, that you forgot there was life outside of the grey and dark building. You looked around at all the people, talking and laughing, and you were amazed at how good it felt. You quickly started to cry and turned back to your sisters and Lena.

“Oh baby why are you crying?” Alex asked softly, “Do you wanna go back inside?”

These were happy tears.

“I’m finally free from him” you said smiling, wiping the tears from your face.

They all smiled at you and were so proud of your strength and perseverance. You had a lot to work through still, but this was a break through. This was the first time since the kidnapping, that you were 100% sure that you would make it through this. You pulled them into group hug, silently thanking them for never leaving your side.

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archive-sugamoom · 4 years

Text

Unit 0 | 5

Summary: Surprise! You’re back! And not only that you get a case to work on together with Jaebum!!Is this the start of something new? (spoiler alert it is, otherwise it wouldnt be a Jaebum/Reader fic)

Word Count: 2606

Genres: Drama | Mystery | Crime | Angst | Detective! AU

A/N: It’s been 9 whole months since I last updated this baby. Will it take another 9 months to post the next chapter?? Also I hope u guys enjoyed to Seokjin + Yoongi cameo (I love them)

Character Introduction | Previous

~~~~~~

6 months later.

You stand idle in front of the building you haven’t been in for 6 months. Looking at the sign reading Seoul Police Department you take a deep breath and step inside the building trying to calm the nerves you’re feeling.

Once inside however it feels as if you’ve never left. It makes you smile, happy that the nerves you felt before completely disappeared.

You’re greeted by colleagues that recognize you in the halls of the building as you’re walking towards your destination, the place that you share with your second family. Once in front of the unit you hesitate, debating whether or not to just barge in like you haven’t left at all. You opt for getting inside quietly and slowly open the door hoping to walk in on a scene you’ve seen multiple times before; Bambam and Yugyeom teasing and provoking Jinyoung.

When you open the door you are greeted by Mark, you placed your finger in front of your mouth to keep him quiet so instead of a verbal greeting he mouths ‘hello’. You look around and smile as you see that Bambam and Yugyeom are in fact teasing someone, but it’s not the person you thought it was.

You look at Mark and lean closer to him to whisper, ‘’Why are they teasing Jaebum? Is he their new victim? Also where are Jinyoung, and Youngjae?’’

Mark looks at the three who still haven’t noticed you coming back, and then looks back at you with a little smile. ‘’Jaebum has become their temporary victim, Jinyoung and Youngjae are currently on a case.’’ He whispers back to you.

You nod as you keep quiet to try and hear their conversation.

‘’Hyung, come on girls will dig it if you act cute and all that stuff.’’ Bambam says doing some sort of outdated cute pose himself.

You chuckle as you see Jaebum physically cringe at him and decide it’s time for them to acknowledge your return.

‘’Bambam we both know very well how Jaebum would look like is he acted cute.’’

Hearing your voice the three men look at the source of the sound. You.

Realising it’s you Bambam and Yugyeom run towards you with the brightest smiles on their faces. ‘’Noona!!’’ They exclaim loudly both hugging you.

‘’I missed you Noona!’’ Yugyeom says while hugging you tighter.

‘’I missed you more!’’ Bambam says trying to one-up Yugyeom.

You roll your eyes as they start bickering about who misses you more. ‘’You guys are cute but it is I that missed all of you the most.’’ With that you pat both their backs and wriggle yourself free from them.

It’s then Mark his turn to hug you which you accept gleefully. ‘’It’s good to see you again.’’ He says before pulling away from the hug.

You smile and look at him. ‘’It is great to see you again as well Mark!’’

When you turn your head to look at Jaebum you laugh, as Bambam and Yugyeom started to pester him again.

Jaebum sighs clearly not impressed with his two younger friends.

‘’Oh! I know what you can do Hyung.’’ Bambam says before looking back at you again. ‘’Try to act cute in front of (Y/N) Noona! You can practice with her.’’

‘’No thanks.’’ You and Jaebum say in unison which in result makes the two of you chuckle.

Jaebum nods at you as a greeting. You return it knowing that Jaebum is not the type of person to hug.

The two of you chat for a bit talking about different things before JYP walks in.

‘’Well, well, well, look who we have here.’’ He states walking towards Jaebum and you.

You get up from your seat and smiles. ‘’It’s good to see you again sir!’’

JYP smiles back at you and places a hand on your shoulder. ‘’I will definitely say the same thing about you (Y/N).’’ He says before dropping his smile looking at you with concern. ‘’How are you?’’

You grin and gives him a thumbs up. ‘’I’m all good sir, I’m ready to work again!’’

‘’That is great news because I have something for Jaebum and you.’’ JYP says handing you the casefile he held in his other arm. ‘’Goodluck.’’

Jaebum and you head to Yongsan hospital after the two of you read through the casefile JYP gave you. You look through the files once more as Jaebum heads to the reception.

‘’Good morning, I’m Detective Im Jaebum from the SPD. I’m looking for a patient called Lee Eunsook?’’ Jaebum says as he shows his badge.

The receptionist looks at the badge and nods, searching for said name. He looks up at Jaebum. ‘’Patient Lee Eunsook is currently in the ER.’’

Jaebum nods, thanking the receptionist before heading back to you.

‘’And?’’ You ask him closing the casefiles.

‘’We will be heading to the ER.’’ Jaebum says as the two of you head towards the said department.

Once there the two of you look around before heading to the reception that is stationed there.

‘’We are Detective Im and Detective (L/N) from the SPD. We are looking for the patient named Lee Eunsook.’’ You tell the receptionist.

‘’Doctor Seo is currently not available..’’ The receptionist starts, but her eyes lights up as she looks behind the two of you. ‘’However nurse Kim could help the two of you! He’s there behind the two of you~’’ She continues pointing at the tall man.

‘’Thank you.’’ You say heading towards said man.

‘’Excuse us, nurse Kim?’’ You say to him, both you and Jaebum holding out your badge.

‘’Yes?’’

‘’We are from the SPD we’d like to see patient Lee Eunsook?’’ Jaebum states, putting his badge back.

‘’Right detectives~ follow me.’’ Nurse Kim says before leading you two towards Lee Eunsook. ‘’She’s in here.’’ He says opening the curtain a little bit as he steps inside the makeshift room.

Jaebum and you step in afterwards, you close the curtain behind you before walking to one of Lee Eunsook’s sides.

‘’That looks bad.. Lee Eunsook-ah can you hear me?’’ You ask her in hopes that she is able to respond.

‘’Right detectives.. uhh.. We put sedated her, she just kept scratching herself that she ended up bleeding.’’

‘’What made her come here nurse Kim?’’ Jaebum asks as he looks at her arms wrapped in bandages.

‘’Please, call me Seokjin for the time being. However it appears to be that she came in with an overdose of Desomorphin.’’ Seokjin says as he checks if everything is still correct.

‘’Could you tell us more about Desomorphin?’’

Seokjin nods. ‘’It used to be a pain relieving drug in Europe, Switzerland and Russia to be more precise. After some time it wasn’t used as a medical drug anymore, and it became a recreational drug.’’

‘’A recreational drug? Have you any idea what it is called as recreational drug?’’ You ask writing the things Seokjin is saying down.

‘’I do not, it’s quite rare that we have a patient here in South Korea who has an overdosis of desomorphin.’’

‘’Since it’s rare.. is it possible to make it at home?’’ Jaebum asks.

‘’Apparently it is! However I cannot say if the stuff our patient has used is self-made or not. It is being tested in the lab right now.’’

‘’I guess that’s all we have for now. Thank you Nurse Kim for helping us.’’ You say shaking his hand with a smile.

Seokjin smiles back. And says when he shakes Jaebums hand. ‘’Give me your contact number, we will inform you when the patient wakes up or when we have the lab results.’’

The two of you leave the hospital after writing down your numbers, and the number back at the station. Once back in the car you sigh.

‘’What’s wrong?’’ Jaebum asks you as he starts the car.

‘’I hoped that Eunsook would have been awake so that we could have gotten more information…’’ you say putting on your seatbelt.

Jaebum nods, doing the same thing ‘’Let’s eat something first and then brainstorm about what to do next okay?’’

You huff and look at him with a small smile. ‘’Sounds like a plan, I’m starving!’’

Jaebum eats his ramen as he looks at you staring out of the window. ‘’(Y/N)? Are you still on earth or? (Y/N)??? Hello???’’ He sighs placing down his chopsticks and snaps his fingers in front of you.

Your thoughts break up out of shock and looks at him. ‘’Did you say something to me??’’

‘’I asked if you were still on earth, you’re not eating. I thought you said you were starving back in the car.’’

You look at the bowl of ramen in front of you and chuckles. ‘’Oops I’m sorry, I’ll eat now.’’ You say, grabbing you chopsticks.

Jaebum looks at you as you begin to eat, a small smile forming on his face. ‘’So what has gotten you thinking?’’

‘’The drug, and whether or not it was self-made by her or someone else.’’ You say before eating some more.

Jaebum hums eating the vegetables that are in his bowl. ‘’And what do you think?’’

You shrug and it takes a second before your mouth is empty to talk again. ‘’I know someone who might know about it.’’

‘’And?’’

‘’And we should visit both of her parents houses to see if there are any ingredients that can make desomorphin.’’

‘’We could let Bambam and Yugyeom do that.’’ Jaebum says, finishing his bowl of ramen.

‘’Couwld you cawll Bwambam and Yugyweom?’’

‘’Speak with your mouth empty next time.. But will do.’’ Jaebum says, heading outside to make the call.

After you two finish your lunch you head back to the car, once inside you give Jaebum directions to get to your destination.

‘’May I ask who this person is..?’’ Jaebum asks when you’re on a long road.

‘’You may, but I won’t answer it, you’ll just have to see for yourself.’’ You say looking at him with a grin.

Jaebum chuckles and shakes his head. ‘’Then let me ask you something else?’’

‘’What is it?’’

‘’Are you really doing well?’’

Your grin disappears and you look ahead of you. ‘’I’m better than I was six months ago. That’s for sure, why are you asking?’’

Jaebum shrugs, ‘’I guess I still feel a bit guilty about it.’’

‘’There is no need to feel guilty about locking up someone who kills, Jaebum. It’s your.. no it’s our job..’’

‘’Weren’t you mad?’’

You let out a soft chuckle at the question. ‘’At you and the rest of the team? I don’t remember.. But what I do remember is being furious at Changwoo.. I still am actually, it’s just how can you murder someone! And to think that he did it for me?’’ shuddering at the thought you shake your head.

‘’Jinyoung had it really hard.. but I’m sure the two of you have talked about it in the last few months..’’

‘’We did, I’m glad he doesn’t think it’s his fault. Although he probably will apologize again when I see him. Also we have to go right at the next intersection.’’

Jaebum nods deciding that the two of you talked enough about the situation 6 months ago.

‘’Is this it…?’’ Jaebum asks, having his car parked in front of the gates of a closed factory.

‘’Yep this is it. Let’s head out I’m sure he’s waiting for us near here.’’ You say taking off the seat belt.

Jaebum complies and does the same thing with a sigh, he gives one more look at the factory. ‘’This looks like some crack-house.’’

‘’Well duh, that’s because it is.’’ With that you get out of the car and look around for the person you’ve wanted to see.

Jaebum gets out of the car slowly and looks at you in shock. ‘’What now? Are you secretly in the mafia or something?’’

Hearing him say that makes you laugh, shaking your head you walk to him and winks. ‘’Yes I am one hundred percent someone from the mafia~’’

Locking his car, Jaebum sighs. ‘’Oh no… Now I am so scared of you.’’

‘’As you should be.’’ Is what you wanted to say but a voice behind you was quicker.

You turn around to identify the person behind you, but smile immediately as you see who it is. ‘’Yoongi my man!’’ You say as you walk to him giving him a tight hug. ‘’It’s been a while since I’ve seen you!’’

The man, now known as Yoongi chuckles and places an arm around you as to hug you back. ‘’That’s not my fault sugar, it’s you that decided to not contact me.’’

You look at him as you two pull away from the hug. ‘’Uhh yeah went through some stuff and left Seoul. Anyways, my partner and I didn’t come here to chitchat with you.’’

Yoongi looks over at Jaebum, who looks at him in return. ‘’New partner huh? What happened to Jinyoung?’’

‘’He’s working on something else.’’ Jaebum says lowering his shoulders and standing taller.

Yoongi snorts. ‘’Alright then, Min Yoongi is the name.’’

‘’Im Jaebum.’’

You look at the two of them and roll your eyes at their behaviour. ‘’Anyways.. we have this case. Do you know anything about the drug Desomorphin?’’ You ask Yoongi.

He looks at you and then at Jaebum. ‘’You mean Krokodil? Sure I do. Why? What happened?’’

‘’A 16 year old girl got sent to the hospital because she had an overdosis. So what do you know?’’ Jaebum asks.

‘’Jeez that’s young. But before you draw me as a suspect let me tell you. I don’t deal with that shit it sucks.’’ Yoongi states taking a cigarette out of his back pocket and lighting it. ‘’Besides I’m not the type of guy who would deal with brats, let alone minors.’’

‘’Yoongi can you tell us a bit more about… Krokodil?’’

Said man shrugs and blows the smoke away from you and Jaebum. ‘’All I know about the drug itself is that it’s called that way because your skin will get fucked up and look like a crocodile.’’

‘’Since you said ‘all I know about the drug’ can you tell us who does know more about it? And who would deal it?’’ You ask.

‘’For you? Always sugar. There’s a gang that might have something to do with it, I see them as the type of group that would target minors and fuck them up. It would be great to see my streets clean so I hope you arrest them like you did with their boss back at Incheon.’’

‘’Boss? Who?’’ Jaebum asks.

‘’Kang what’s his face. The dumbass got arrested for killing a cop, how stupid can you be?’’

‘’Kang Donggun.’’ Jaebum states.

‘’Yes, that’s the guy!’’ Yoongi nods as he repeats the name.

‘’Jaebum… are you alright?’’ You ask as you notice the look on his face.

Jaebum looks at you, he trembles as he thinks of the name again. ‘’We should leave (Y/N). Mr… Min. Thank you for your help.’’

Yoongi nods his head as he puts his hands in his pocket. ‘’You don’t look well so take care, Sugar you look after him right?’’

You nod and wave goodbye as Yoongi leaves you and Jaebum alone. Once alone Jaebum unlocks his car and gets in.

Hurriedly you go to the passenger seat of his car. You look at him in worry. ‘’You know that Kang Donggun?’’ you ask him carefully.

Jaebum drops his trembling hands onto the steering wheel and nods. He sighs before stating in a menacing voice. ‘’He’s the one that shot my partner.’’

Tags: @nshitae

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mrneighbourlove · 5 years

Text

Monsters: Ch 2. Slithering Terror in the Dark

Klinge checked in on Miranda, who had apparently awaken. Finding her, he didn’t enter the room, simply hearing that she was a crying mess. The very young Dark Elf held onto Doctor Boveir. “Please don’t go! I don’t want to be left alone in the dark! I want my mother! Where’s my mother!!!”

"Miranda, calm down, it's not good for you to be so upset." Doctor Boveir was doing his best to soothe the poor girl. "I already told you that I won't blow out the candles, there's nothing to be afraid of. You're safe here."

“No! Monsters in the dark! Monsters! Please, please don’t go! I don’t want to be left alone. Please Mr. Boveir. P-please.” The tears streamed down her eyes as she refused to let go of him. Klinge crushed the door handle subconsciously and walked away. He brought her into this mess. He allowed her to be taken by that monster.

"I'm not going anywhere, I'm right here, okay?" Doctor Boveir assured the terrified elf. "Look, I'm here tonight, along with three other nurses, all right? There's no monsters in the dark. Look around." He gestured to the medical bay, lit by candle light. "Now, you have multiple broken bones and you need to rest from your healing session."

Miranda sniffed, slowly letting go. “I-I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.” She tucked herself into bed, the tears only making her more tired.

"Now, now, there's no need to apologize." Doctor Boveir patted Miranda's head. "We all get scared sometimes. It's normal. Close those eyes, and try to sleep. If you need me, I'll be right here." Once the elf appeared to have drifted off into an exhausted slumber, the doctor placed another blanket on the sheets to keep her warm.

Only Miranda wasn’t talking to him. She lied in bed, staying awake for a while listening a praying she didn’t hear anything.

Doctor Boveir was doing his usual rounds and checking on patients. The darkness hid most due to the lack of light. Though Bonegrinder had his way of moving around Hyrule castle without being seen.

"Tiny snack... little elf... if you do not behave, you will lose more than just your life." Bonegrinder's voice came from within the wall behind her bed. "Would you like for the monster to go after your mother? Your friends? Eat them while you watch? You were warned not to traverse into the catacombs, but you did not listen. Tsk, tsk, stupid little elf..."

Miranda grew bug eyed, holding the sheets close to her and over her head. “No! Please. I-I’m sorry! I never should have gone near you. Please don’t hurt me or my mother. I’ll do whatever you ask. Please, please go away. Please I’m sorry.”

"Do you think apologizing is enough for what you did?" Bonegrinder scoffed. "You have alerted the undead commander to not only Bonegrinder's presence but those of the others in the catacombs. All because of your insistence when the prince ordered you to let it go... silly elf, don't you see now that the pretty prince was trying to protect you? And here, you doubted him, went behind his back to the undead tool. If he comes after Bonegrinder, those in Bonegrinder's home... then you will be the first to die, you stupid girl." The snake threatened. "Warn your commander to stay put or you will meet more monsters who Bonegrinder will gladly share your flesh with."

“No! NO! PLEASE MR BONEGRINDER!!! IM SORRY!!!” Miranda started to frantically scream and cry again. “This silly, stupid elf is yours! Please just don’t hurt me or my mother! PLEASE!!! Oh god have mercy, PLEASE!!!!!”

Doctor Boveir heard Miranda's frantic cries and rushed over to the elf.

"Miranda, Miranda, calm down! It's was just a bad dream, you're here, you're safe!" The doctor motioned for the nurses to come over to the bed as well. "There's no... no bone-monster here! There's nothing here! It was just a nightmare, there's no such thing as monsters."

“HE’S IN THE WALLS!!! OH GOD IM SORRY!!! PLEASE! I HAVE TO TELL RALNOR AND KLINGE I WAS WRONG!!! HE’S GOING TO EAT ME!!! CANT YOU HEAR HIM?!?!” Miranda frantically pushed against the doctors.

"Doctor, she must be hallucinating from the pain or the medication."

"Administer a stronger sedative and have a volunteer sit with her." Doctor Boveir ordered. "The girl is troubled mentally. We need to keep an eye on her." He then said with a frown. "And I need to have a talk with Commander Klinge about what happened. We cannot help until we know."

“NO! YOU SAID YOU WOULDN’T LEAVE ME!” Miranda bit one of the doctors hands as she attempted to run away. “Mother! I have to see my mother!”

Seeing Klinge watching from the end of the hallway she screamed at him. “Please don’t go after him! PLEASE!!!”

Her cries of lunacy and panic practically woke the castle. Klinge was glad he was wearing a helmet, because he couldn’t bear to look her in the eye. “I’ll end him....”

"Oh good goddesses, someone sedate her, now!" Doctor Boveir had to pry the girl's mouth away from his hand and the nurse quickly gave her a shot to put her to sleep. Shaking his head, he was pissed that the girl was acting so erratic and speaking of monsters. What if she had some sort of poison in her system? What if it was a dangerous gas that she breathed? He had no answers and no idea how to treat her. "Commander Klinge!" Normally, Doctor Boveir was a calm guy and it took a lot to get him angry. "I want... no, I need some damn answers, right now! The girl is out of her mind! What happened?!"

Klinge stayed calm, a little bit of spite in his voice. “You can ask Prince Ralnor, though I’m sure he will simply tell you she’s insane. I think the King and Queen would love to know the truth as much as you.”

"... I don't have time for your mind games." The doctor dismissed Klinge's statement with a huff. "Speaking of monsters in the walls. It's bad enough the maids say the castle is haunted and now you're in on this prattle too. I don't know what this girl saw or what the devil happened when you two went into that tunnel of madness, and I have a feeling I'm not going to get a proper answer. Until she is completely better, both physically and mentally, she is not to return to her work. Is that clear?"

“And she won’t be better until I deal with her monster. You can tell the Prince, the King, and the Queen I no longer take their orders until the matter is dealt with. Now go take care of your patients doctor. Before you receive something far more strong than a bite from me.” Klinge wagged a finger of warning at the doctor before walking to Tulilaid and Kelly, who had arrived to investigate the commotion. “Captains. I have a special assignment for you.”

“Yes, Commander Klinge?”

Tulilad quickly brushed back his hair and tried to wipe off any lipstick evidence on his face that might have been left there by Kelly. Clearing his throat, he stood up straight and faced his superior. “What assignment?”

“….I need you to go on a grocery run. Cake needs a casing. Might be rats in the wall. The Queen wants to take a cruise ship out to sea.”

Kelly kept a straight face, with only a flinch of concern. This was special code used only for emergency situations. Klinge handed Tulilad as list. “I’m taking a holiday. Be good.”

Oh shit. Grocery run was a vital hush hush mission. The cake needing a casing was a VIP needing protection. Her eyes studied her surroundings. Rats meant a spy or something listening in. And the cruise ship meant taking a garrison to take someone far away from Hyrule for their own good. Klinge was really laying it on them. But it was the vacation that worried Kelly. It meant Klinge was going rogue on his own. Who knew how long. She and Tulilad had to get somewhere private and read the note.

The Undead filth was becoming a thorn in his side. The criminal heads, his ‘Hive’ as he called it, were bringing him multiple complaints. Evidently, this commander was declaring war on him and his brood for what happened. This was nothing new to the Anagari. Sooner or later, there would be a mistake. Then, he could take advantage of the situation. A man with revenge on his mind was liable to act irrationally. The second prince could not control the undead like a puppet, despite Bonegrinder’s insistence that he be kept on a leash. Still, it was not Ralnor’s fault that Klinge would not behave. The prince was too soft to use necromancy magic to keep the bag of rotted flesh under his thumb. So Bonegrinder waited patiently, listening and watching… until every person was in place.

As the Hive gathered, Sheer-Kahn trotted in. He was an old and ancient creature. With four hooves he walked with a clack of every step. His upper body had two powerful arms for carrying his weapons of choice, a massive sharpened club and a bow that shot arrows the size of small tortoises. His main was silvery white, with a grey body. He was a Lynel.

In times much older, he might have been King here. But Hyrule’s darkest corners now held creatures far more adaptive then him. As powerful as he was, not even he could move an immovable object. He took his place and waited patiently. Here, his code name was Hades. For if anyone sought death by angering his master, he’d send them to the Underworld.

“Sheer-Kahn… my loyal friend, my trusted warrior.” Bonegrinder motioned for the Lynel to come into his personal chambers. He had the deeper sections of the catacombs suited for living. No one under his command wanted anything more than they needed. Every need and want was catered to within reasonable request. One thing was for sure, Bonegrinder took care of those who were loyal to him. Certain areas were nothing short of luxurious, despite being underground. The Anagari took a slow inhale of his pipe and let the smoke float out of his nostrils. “The undead filth has been a thorn in our garden for quite some time now, hasn’t he?”

Sheer-Kahn nodded. “More so now that he has discovered your presence. He’s always taken care to destroy the criminal element that has been created by you, even if only unintentional and previously unknown to your presence, simply because it is ‘the right thing to do’. Now he’s targeting the infrastructure himself.”

“He doesn’t realize that what we do effects not just our brood, but those under us, those we take care of, the rejects no one wants.” Bonegrinder’s underground empire was ran to benefit some of Hyrule’s most unfortunate. Those who had nowhere else to go, came to the Hive for a home. However, Bonegrinder ran the underground organization like a tight ship. There was no room for error. A threat to him was threat to all under his command. If Klinge wanted to play dirty, then he could do so as well. “This old snake won’t have the others suffering because of it. The three he keeps close to him… the half breed, the kid elf, and the small guard. We need to bring them here.”

“They are in the heart of the castle. That could prove to be difficult.” Sheer-Kahn took a bow. “But nothing is below me. What would you have me do?”

“If the little elf is taken… the others will follow.” Bonegrinder slithered up to Sheer-Kahn, his claws holding up the Lynel’s chin. “You are strength and might incarnate, trusted friend. Nothing you put your mind to will ever fail. Though it is not unnecessary to ask for help when it is needed.” He then gestured to the figures in the dark. “Morowa and Negasi will accompany you if you wish it?”

Sheer-Kahn thought it over. Klinge needed to be distracted and taken away from the castle. Hades’ existence could not be made publicly known to the general population, so he couldn’t enter the castle, but he could take Klinge’s attention away. “Will you listen to my plan my friend?”

“Of course.” Bonegrinder offered the Lynel a pipe while he listened. When he was done explaining, Bonegrinder smiled wildly in content.

#Monsters #Klinge #Mirnada #Kelly #Tulilad #Boveir #Bonegrinder #Anagari #Sheer-Khan #Lynel #For #S-Kinally #Crossover #ridersoftheapocalypse #comments appriciated

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ughthatimagineblog · 6 years

Text

not your baby (part two)

steve harrington x reader | part one

requested: Okay first off, “I’m Their Healer” is AMAZING and i loved the plot twist at the end!! You are extremely talented! Could you maybe do a Steve Harrington x Reader that involves the reader being a shy, but really sweet and caring new girl that accidently pisses off Billy somehow and Steve comes to the rescue? Id love for him to get revenge and kick his ass. Then the girl meets the Party (and loves Max cause they both have red hair?) WOW thats specific sorry so dont do it unless you want to!

warnings: cursing (a lot), fighting, billy being a major butt, kind of sexual assault? kinda. kinda.

word count: 2017 (lol)

a/n: so i changed it to where the demodog doesnt come crashing through the window and Elle just kills them all. some other small details are changed im sure but other than that I stuck to it. hope yall enjoy! :)

Your personal dramas were all cut short when the reality of the Upside Down really set in. You were on your way to Nancy’s, only to find she wasn’t home. Then, you were picked up by some kid named Dustin and Steve to help catch what he called a demodog. Cut to you, now scared and skeptical, in the backseat of a bus in the old Hawkins junkyard with three of Mike Wheeler’s friends. “Guys, I’m not even sure if I want to be here, can’t I just go home and you can play your game without me?” You complained and Dustin glared at you. “It’s not a game.” You looked at Steve, for the first time all night actually, and he nodded. “It’s not.” He confirmed. “You’re in on this too?” You asked. “Unbelievable. A bus filled with two redheads, which Max, I’m a fan of the hair believe me,” You smiled despite going literally insane about the events happening before you. “Two eighth graders and a senior who are all psy-” You couldn’t finish your sentence when a loud growl was heard outside.

“What was that?” You were quick to ask. Steve immediately stood up. “They’re here.” He stated, grabbing his bat and moving to the front of the group. Lucas, who was also Mike’s friend, came crawling down the ladder. “Shit, shit, shit.” He muttered on his way down. “Is he out there?” Steve asked. “Yeah but he isn’t going for the bait.” Lucas reported. Your eyes were darting between the two, starting to get scared that they were serious and a monster that ate Dustin’s cat was truly out there.

Steve’s eyes darted to you and you saw something in them. Something you saw that day Billy showed up. When you exchanged glances and he switched seats almost to. . . protect you. Something was felt in your heart that you couldn’t explain, but you couldn’t voice it before Steve was handing Dustin the lighter and walking out the door. You moved up the ladder with Lucas to watch what was going on in the yard. You could see a creature on four legs in the distance. You were about to make the excuse it was a dog, when it’s face opened up and released a blood curdling growl. You clasped a hand over your mouth and Lucas leaned over to whisper. “Now you believe us?” You nodded. “Steve is going to fight that? Alone?” Lucas nodded. You looked to your right and your stomach dropped. “But what about those.” You pointed to the other creatures that entered the junkyard. Soon there were about five or six and Steve was well outnumbered. You and Lucas rushed down the ladder and slammed open the bus door. “Abort! Abort! Steve!” You called after him and it was almost too late when he noticed he was outnumbered. You held the door open and he rushed in, making his escape. You shut the door and were about to go back up the ladder to scout the area when thuds were heard on the roof and a terrifying face popped through the fire escape hatch. You screamed and Steve nearly knocked you over, pushing himself in front of you. “Out of the way!” He shouted, waving his bat at the ‘demodog’. His face opened up but before it could bite, a distant screech was heard and its head popped up. Deciding you all weren’t interesting enough, it changed its mind, and retreated. Leaving most of you dumbfounded. “It left.” Lucas said, breathing heavily. “No, no, they didn’t leave,” Steve said, opening the door and looking to the distance. “They are going somewhere.”

By the time you reached Hawkins lab and piled everyone into cars, your feet hurt and you were crying. Sobbing even. Never in a thousand worlds or lifetimes would you expect all this to be real. And to hear someone died made it even more surreal. You were in the back of Hoppers cop car with Steve and the ‘Party’ when you felt a hand on your knee. It was Steve’s. “Hey, hey, hey. It’s okay. I know this is all overwhelming but it’s going to be okay. Come here.” He offered his arms out to you and you sniffed, wiping your nose on your jacket. “Like you said, Steve, I’m not your girlfriends best friend so you don’t have to be nice to me.” You said back, bitterly. “I know.” He said. You looked to his face. There was no sign of sarcasm. No smirk. Just a pure gesture. Reluctantly, you scooted to the other side of the back of the van and sat next to Steve, who wrapped his arms around you, allowing you to lay your head on his shoulder where you fell asleep. For the time being.

When you woke up, you woke up on Joyce Byers couch. There were no adults to be seen and only Lucas and Max were sitting in a chair across the room. It was unfamiliar. You didn’t know where Hopper was or even Steve. Steve. Where was he? You sat up quickly, catching the attention of Lucas and Max. Seeing you in your panicked state, they rushed to your side. “It’s okay. Hey, Steve’s in the kitchen talking with Mike and Dustin.” Max explained while Lucas called Steve’s name. He came in and explained everything. Where Joyce and Hopper were, where the rest of the team were, what had happened and how they kept you safe. “So this girl, Eleven, she took the dogs down?” You asked to clarify, sitting at the table with a glass of water. “Yes.” Steve confirmed and you nodded slowly. “Okay.” You said calmly. “Are you good now?” He asked. You nodded. “I have to be. It’s my reality. Besides, if any of the dogs come back, i’ll kick their asses.” You said confidently, finding the best way to cope with your fear was to fight it. “Alright.” Steve nodded but was cut off by Max and Lucas arguing in the living room. You both got up to see what the commotion was all about.

“What’s going on?” Steve asked and you stood beside him. “Billy’s here. He’s looking for me. If he finds me I’ll get killed, or worse, we will.” She gestured to both her and Lucas. You and Steve looked to each other. “I’ll handle him.” You stepped forward. “What? Y/N, no!” Steve protested but you held a hand up to his chest. “Listen, hot stuff, you’ve protected me from this asshole enough. Let me handle this, okay?” You said, and he shrugged, backing off. “Good to know the old you is back.” He made the snide remark before watching you go. From the inside, he surveyed the situation from the side of the window.

Outside, Billy was just turning off his car when you stepped out the front door. “What are you doing here, Billy?” You asked, arms crossed. “Ooh, Y/N. Funny meeting you here.” He smiled a sly smile and you felt bile rise in your throat. You wanted to spit. “Not that funny. You aren’t laughing.” You replied, not letting emotion cake your features. Billy approached you slowly, his cigarette hanging between his lips. “Feisty. Nice.” He commented and lifted his hand to brush one of your hairs away but you pushed his hand away. Inside, the gesture made Steve flinch. He wanted to walk outside and deck that guy. But Dustin held him back. They both knew you could hold your own. For now. “Too bad I’m not here for you.” He stated, crossing his arms and taking another drag. “Yeah, then what are you here for?” You replied. “My little sister.” He turned from looking behind you and looked straight at you. “Who?” “Shot, redhead, bit of a bitch?” Billy asked, flicking his cigarette into the ground. You nearly rolled your eyes. “Never seen her.” You shrugged. “Oh yeah?” Billy commented. “Then who’s that?” He pointed behind you and in the window you saw four heads duck down. “Shit.” You muttered to yourself before you felt two arms wrap around you, spin you around and back you into the door of his car. Billy pressed his body against you and you leaned away best you could, trying to escape the stench of cigs and cheap cologne. “Now, I could let this go, if I get one night with you. . . What do you say, baby?” He whispered grossly into your ear, ghosting his lips over your neck. If this was anyone else, if this was Steve you’d be turned on. But it wasn’t. So you were disgusted. “She isn’t your baby.” You heard Steve say and a door slamming open. He was quickly making his way across the front yard and Billy was just pulling away from you when you saw Steve’s fist collide with Billy’s face. You were so surprised it took you a moment to recuperate. “Now this is the King I’ve been hearing so much about. And last I heard, she was single. So who’s baby is she?” Billy shouted, gathering himself from the pavement, a smirk plastered on his lips once again.

Steve’s face had a look you had never seen before. It made you scared. He was angry. More than angry, he was seething. “Don’t you fuckin’ touch her Billy or I swear to God I’ll rip your fuckin’ face off, you hear me?” Steve shouted and ran at Billy again, tackling him to the ground. From there, Steve took a few blows. Two to the side of his ribs and one to the face but all of them he was quick to recover from. You decided to run inside and take action. You grabbed a needle and filled it with the sedative you assumed was used earlier to sedate Will.

You were pushing through the kids at the doorway when you saw Steve repeatedly punching Billy, who was smiling the whole time. “She’s fuckin’ mine, that’s who.” Steve grunted and your heart leapt, stunning you in your place for only a moment. She’s fuckin’ mine.

It was Max who broke your daze and stripped those words from echoing in your mind. “Y/N!” She shouted and you jumped, finally snapping out of your trance and rushing up to the scene. You plunged the needle into Billy’s neck which made the struggling boy go limp. You pulled Steve off of him, repeatedly saying it was over and he won. He stopped resisting when he looked at you, realizing why he got so angry.

Inside, Billy’s passed out body was laying on the couch while the kids left you alone with Steve in the kitchen. You were cleaning up his wounds when you decided to comment on what he had said.

“Steve-” You began but he cut you off by putting his hand on the one that was dabbing the wound on his lip. “I know what I said. And I’m sorry.” He looked at you. “Why?” You asked, breathless and heart speeding at a million miles an hour. “I don’t know. I just. . . When I saw you and Billy out there and he had his hands on you, and his body on yours. . . It just made me so angry. And I realized that maybe I like you more than just a friend.” Steve explained. “I know it wasn’t right of me to call you mine. You’re not and I-” You held up a hand to stop him in his tracks. “I will gladly be yours. All you had to do was ask. Truth be told, Harrington, I’ve always liked you. I just didn’t know I did until the night of the party. So, no need to apologize.” You gave him a quick kiss on his cheek. “What about Nancy?” He asked, lacing his fingers through your free hand. You thought long and hard about that for a moment. “She has Jonathan now.” You shrugged and smiled, leaning in for a kiss, one Steve gladly returned.

You broke away by the sound of Dustin’s voice. “So are you our mom now?”

@izzy-zzz I hope you enjoyed!

#steve harrington x reader #steve harrington #steve harrington imagine #stranger things #stranger things x reader #stranger things imagines #imagines #x reader #fic #stranger things fic #fanfic #fanfiction

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enigmasalad · 7 years

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(Hey this is based off of one of nekoth19′s musicallys...again. WARNINGS: this fic includes violence, kidnappings, and other dark themes. If you get offended or react badly by these I suggest not reading, for your sake and mine. Enjoy)

Virgil sighed as someone knocked on his door. He had his sign up. The sign that let everyone know he was busy doing something. Usually when he was feeling really bad. He was currently working on a new makeup idea to distract him from..thoughts. However that had to wait. It was probably Patton calling him for dinner. However when he opened the door it was Roman. Virgil was about to say something but the prince's appearance caught him off guard. His clothes weren't the usual “prince charming” look. They were black and red. Roman's hair was also slightly messier. What made Virgil the most wary was Roman's expression. He had a wide smile. It was too wide actually. It made the younger side really uneasy.

“H-Hey whats up?” Virgil asked, trying to calm himself down.

“Its dinner time Virg.” Roman replied. His voice was a bit...darker.

“I-Im...not hungry.” Virgil said as he tried to close the door.

However Roman grabbed Virgil's wrist. A little too hard.

“Its. Dinner. Time. You don't want to make Patton sad right?”

“Roman let g-”

Roman then pulled Virgil out of his room and tightened the grip on his wrist. Virgil winced and tugged, in an effort to get free. However Roman began pulling Virgil with him. His sickening smile was still on his face. What's worse is they weren't going the way to where they usually ate. Virgil struggled but whenever he did Roman would yank him forward.

“Roman! Let go!”

“Can't do.” Roman responded.

Just then Virgil managed to break free. He immediately bolted down the hallway. He had to find someone. Anyone. He could hear the sounds of running footsteps coming closer. With another turn Virgil rushed into the commons. However something hard hit his head.

“Oh shit!”

Virgil fell to the ground and looked up. It was...Roman. Roman was wearing his usual clothes and actually looked normal. However Virgil was more confused than ever.

“R-Roman? What was the big deal?!” Virgil cried out.

“Shhh! I'll explain later. We need to be quiet though or he'll find us!” Roman said.

The prince helped Virgil up but they both fell down due to some force.

“Tag! You're it!”

Virgil looked up in horror to see the darker Roman. He took the bat that Roman had been carrying and smacked Roman in the head as hard as he could. The prince fell with a thud. Virgil scooted back as he saw the darker prince look at him. That was the last thing he saw before everything went black.

When Virgil awoke he was in some room. It looked like a basement. It looked like his room almost. Well it had the same vibe. It was dim and there were band records and even a cat pillow. However Virgil knew it wasn't his room. He sat up quickly but found himself in pain. He forced himself to get up . His neck and face hurt badly so he looked in the full body mirror. His face had scars on both sides of the mouth, forced up like a sick smile. On his throat was another scar. It was like someone had tried to slit his throat, but they failed. Virgil felt himself start to lose control. The room was growing taller as he stared at his horrific reflection. His ears started ringing to the point he hadn't heard the door open.

“Ah! You're awake!”

Virgil screamed and fell backwards. He didn't even have to look up to see who it was. He knew who it was.

“Sorry Virgil! I didn't mean to startle you.” The Roman impostor said as he knelt down. He was grinning and holding a plate.

Virgil shook and scooted back against the bed.

“W-What did you do?” he managed to ask.

“I made spaghetti. By the way, nice smile Virgil!” the demon laughed.

Virgil wanted to scream, cry heck even stab this guy if it meant he'd be back at home. Dark Roman smirked and handed the plate over.

“Ill cut you up and make you dinner. Any time you want my dear.”

Virgil shook his head but his stomach growled the loudest it had ever growled. He was a mouse In the corner.

“Eat. You haven't eaten a week. Of course I kept you under while I did your makeup. Funny what sedatives can do!”

Virgil felt sick in the stomach but he ate anyways. He forced himself to swallow the food. It was incredible but the anxious side couldn't care less. Oh god what if this was-

“Before you ask, no that isn't anyone. Just plain beef.” Dark Roman reassured gently.

As Virgil finished eating he began to feel very tired. The bastard had put sedatives in the food. He had to have. Before he knew it Virgil was being tucked into the bed.

“Good night my chemically imbalanced romance...”

That started a cycle Virgil wished was a nightmare. The Dark Roman wannabe would come in and feed him sedated food. Sometimes Virgil would be aware of what was going on but he couldn't move. Dark Roman would have Virgil's head in his lap and stroke his head. He'd hum sometimes too. Eventually Virgil was tired. He couldn't fight back anymore. He knew he was doomed and only hoped that the real Roman, Patton or Logan would find him. They were his last hope. Virgil decided that the safest plan was to give in and give the other sides time to find him.

“Can anybody hear me?” Virgil asked to no one. He knew the answer would be a no.

Just then the door opened. Dark Roman grinned and brought in a tray of delicious foods plus Virgil's favorite ice cream.

“Ready to eat my dear?”

“Sure.”

The two sat on the floor as Virgil ate. He started on his ice cream. Luckily Dark Roman didn't mind. In fact he looked sickeningly delighted as the boy ate his brownie ice cream.

“I love when I hear you breathing y'know. Reminds me of how perfect you are.”

Virgil just stared at the fake as he ate. That had to be the creepiest thing anyone had said ever.

“God I hope you're never leaving. You're more appreciated here anyways.”

“If I'm going to stay here can I know what you are? I know you aren't Roman.” Virgil asked calmly. He had to play it cool.

Dark Roman 's eyes lit up and his grin became more genuine. Almost like Patton's.

“Oh me? Well the dragon witch made me! The original Roman was stupid to underestimate her. So I snuck in and now we're here! Since Im the new and improved Roman I know most things he knows. When It came to the people he cares about you fascinated me. So dark..yet wonderful!”

Yeah Virgil was getting really creeped out. Strangely it wasn't like how he would usually be creeped out over the past....whatever.

“Uh...thanks?”

Dark Roman giggled and the two talked a bit more before Virgil was done. To Virgil's surprise the food wasn't sedated. Dark Roman seemed to catch on.

“I decided to see if you would be a good boy for me. So for a week I'm not sedating your food. If you're on good behavior I wont do it anymore. I'll even give you a reward!”

“That's....nice of you.”

Dark Roman laughed and pulled Virgil into an uncomfortable and cuddly hug. Virgil made sure to be on his best behavior so the others would find him. During the week he played Kingdom Hearts which Dark Roman so “generously” gave him.

“Tag, you're it.” Virgil found himself saying as he killed a heartless. He then stopped in horror.

He had to get out ASAP.

Virgil shut the game off and crawled into bed. He could probably take a nap before the demon fed him. However he heard the door knob be unlocked. He sat straight up as Dark Roman entered the room.

“Ah,was my good boy sleeping?” the faker asked.

“..about to.”

“Well sleep later. You should eat now.”

This time Dark Roman was eating with him. They ate sandwiches on Virgil's “prison” bed. Virgil noticed that Dark Roman kept staring at him. It made him shudder and feel uncomfortable.

“Do you know who the very best boy is to me?” Dark Roman asked as he wiped Virgil's face.

“I am?” Virgil asked.

The monster grinned and clapped his hands.

“Yes! Yes, Yes you are! You're my great boy!”

Virgil felt tired after eating but he knew it wasn't due to drugs. He yawned and snuggled under his covers.

“Sleep well love. Maybe tomorrow we can spend some time together.”

That sentence was the last thing he heard as he drifted off.

Then there was a loud banging noise. Virgil shot up in his bed and looked at the door.

“Virgil?!” Dark Roman called out.

“W-What?” Virgil responded. Dark Roman never acted like this.

Suddenly the door busted open as a body flew into it. Virgil looked at the person and realized it wasn't his captor. It was the actual Roman. The damned prince himself. When Roman caught sight of him his face was horrified.

“Oh god...what did he do to you?” he asked as he quickly walked over to Virgil. He cupped the anxious side's face and examined it.

“Uh...I don't know. I just woke up like this when I first got here.” Virgil responded. The feeling of joy induced tears was heavy in his throat and behind his eyes.

Roman picked up Virgil bridal styled and turned to leave. Virgil looked over at the door to see Patton and Logan standing there. Patton's hands went to his mouth and tears filled his eyes at the sight of Virgil. Virgil felt tears drop from his chin and onto Roman's arm as well. Logan's eyes were a mix of anger, sadness and relief. Virgil was relieved to see his family once again. He was relieved to know he was safe.

“We heard you.”

#anxiety sanders #virgil sanders #sanders sides #sanders sides fic #sanders sides fanfic #musically #reversed sanders sides #maybe?#roman sanders #prince sanders #patton sanders #morality sanders #logic sanders #logan sanders #mild prinxiety

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mbergen · 4 years

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In the beginning of all this, I mentioned Tammy had 2 other nurse friends in New York City. This is one of them. Carrie Ann. She has a Very Special Story to tell. Tammy and Carrie met at Kindred Hospital in Peoria, and then they both worked for awhile at IVCH in Peru Illinois. Carrie is a Travel Nurse and her specialty is OB, Labor and Delivery. Carrie’s Day 1 of 21 started on March 28 2020. She is staying at the New Yorker in Manhattan and working at Jacobi Medical Center in the Bronx. This is so heart wrenching to read her posts. But she is telling how it is. These are story’s that should be told. Their are some doubters out their that just don’t realize what is truly going on in this world with this virus. The people in the New York City are fighting for survival. We need to know what these nurses and doctors and all personal are going through to help these people daily, …..and you might wonder…. why do they do it?…..It’s because they feel the need to help. They are answering the call that they are trained for….It’s their LOVE OF LIFE AND PEOPLE. So in this blog I will copy the words directly from Carries FB site…..These will all be her words……Preserved for us all….

So Lets Follow her for her 21 days fighting Covid-19 in New York City

CarrieAnn is at Chicago O’Hare International Airport. March 27 at 9:57 AM · Chicago, IL ·

I’ve said it before .. being a nurse isn’t what I do, it’s who I am. It’s not always a choice, it’s a calling, sometimes you don’t even understand it yourself. So in the words of my little brother, Im going to “bring my ass home”, but for now, let’s do this New York

Jacobi Medical Center

CarrieAnn March 28 at 6:39 PM ·

Day 1. Jacobi Medical Center. I’m overwhelmed and proud to be part of this group of nurses. Ps didn’t post this morning.

CarrieAnn March 28 at 6:52 PM ·

So I’ve decided I’m going to do something I don’t normally do, and I’m going to post about my days while I’m here..as much as I can by the time I make it to the end of the day. And it’s not going to be your average sugar coated filtered Facebook bs, I’m going to be raw and honest about what is happening here. Unfriend me now if you don’t want to know. Day 1 started with some uncertainty because it’s the first day. No one really knows what they’re doing. A bus shuttles us from the hotel to the hospitals we are assigned to. There was a group of us on our first day so we had a day of hospital orientation before heading to the floors tomorrow. While waiting at the elevators to go up to education the nurse escorting us answered her phone and started crying, asking the person to repeat what they’d just said.. then cried out, and sobbed. She walked away then came back and told us one of their educators just died from corona. On the bus back to the hotel at the end of Day 1 and I receive a text from a newer nurse, I think she’s been a nurse 4 years, she’s young, a lovely girl, and she was assigned to Elmhurst. She just got on her bus, and this is what her Day 1 will look like. PLEASE PRAY.

Mar 29 at 8:59AM

Day 2 in NYC. I am still at Jacobi Center and I’m in Labor & Delivery where we still have plenty of supplies.

The text from my friend about her first night at a different hospital.

“ER -one nurse taking care of FIVE intubated “sedated” possible positive covid patients. five to one, he was just running around trying to keep a BP going. they are out of ALL supplies… they’re out of pumps!? they had fentanyl/levo/propofol gtts with no pumps. they were titrating by the roller clamp. maxed out on vent settings, with sats in 70-80s and they were happy with that sat. patients coding every couple minutes. it’s a 50 bed ER, and they have over 200 patients in there right now. patients just stacked on top of each other and having to move stretchers around to just reach a patient in the back row. they made a tent morgue outside of the ER and it’s full already.”

Feeling thankful beyond words for my assignment today, and praying this nurse has peace in her heart and mind this morning when she lays down to sleep. Even just for a few hours. ♥️

March 29 at 9:08PM

Today I got my assignment, and thanked God above my whole walk to the labor and delivery unit. That group of nurses were so appreciative -so thankful that we’re here to help- I’ve never felt so appreciated walking onto a shift. They took me in as one of their own made me feel welcome and did not miss an opportunity to thank me, all day long.

The TV in the break room runs between ABC NBC CNN and Fox news all day long, trying to keep up with the latest with Covid while managing our patients.

Employees at the hospital were picketing outside the emergency room and I’m not even really sure why… The biggest complaint I hear is about having to use the N95 masks for a week before we can get a new one. They gave out small brown paper bags, like a lunch bag, to store it in.

The labor and delivery unit is dated, and not well laid out. The cabinets are falling off hinges with long mismatched screws holding them on, and there is paint chipping off most of the corners of walls, and along the ceilings. But it doesn’t change the overall feeling of optimism on this unit, and in the midst of everything going on all around us, we had a delivery of a healthy baby girl today.

Every nurse that got on the bus wore her day on her face, some spoke it in words, some look defeated. One cried. We talked about our day.. the good, and the bad, then finished the bus ride back with our acapella rendition of Joe Diffys John Deere Green. RIP Joe

March 30 at 7:02PM

Day3. Today I learned why Mondays get a bad rap. New York hospitals did that. It doesn’t matter how experienced or strong of a nurse you think you are, you’re not ready for this. I got there, took my assignment in triage, and the door didn’t stop revolving. Within the first hour all the triage beds were full and there was a line waiting. Some were belligerent and cussing demanding to be seen, some were tearful, all were scared. Everyone’s wearing masks and complaining of how hot they are. Management is visible, on the floor working, asking what you need, how they can help.

These women are coming in alone, leaving their husbands, sisters, moms- whoever brought them- in the waiting room as they are assessed and treated. If they stay they can have one support person, no trading off- ONE person, per patient, per stay…. WHEN THEY ARE HAVING A BABY. Or when they’re not. Some of these girls are miscarrying, or having a threatened miscarriage, and they have to pick the one person that can sit next to them, hug them, tell them it’s going to be okay. One person. Because of this virus. Oh, and when they do deliver, dad gets one hour to bond then they have to leave .. til mom goes home.

Covid in pregnant women is a hard thing to look at. She’s struggling to breath and her 02 sats are in the 70-80s. Do you know how much oxygen that means her baby is getting? She went to ICU. I didn’t have time to check and see how she was doing after she left our floor.

I also didn’t have time to eat, drink, or pee. I can feel my heartbeat in my feet after sitting down for 10 minutes on this bus, and don’t even feel sorry for myself because I had more help than the night shift I just left.

March 31 at 9:27PM

I wasn’t going to post words tonight, but just a picture. If you haven’t seen it, this isn’t some professional National Geographic wait for the perfect poignant shot picture. It’s a snapshot, taken with a phone, by a nurse, here, in New York City.

But then…

Ive always been a believer of “to each their own”. I’ve never had a hard time respecting someone’s opinion or beliefs without agreeing with them myself. And then today I find myself typing out the words “you’re a fucking idiot” in response to a strangers comment on a friends post. A stranger. Going on and on about how this virus is a hoax. Well-?! .. is he..? an IDIOT?? Are people that fn STUPID? I just hope..these individuals don’t end up with the virus themselves and need the medical attention and treatment from one of these doctors or nurses that read that shit. Because I think, for the first time in my life I would walk on by.

April 5 at 7:05 PM

Day 5 was mixed. I am sore and I am tired. My back hurts from being on my feet for 15 hours a day, and there are open spots on the back of both my ears from wearing a surgical mask over the N95, to try to make it last longer. You end every day with a headache from the tightness and pressure of the N95 on your face all day. We have two rooms just dedicated to corona virus rule outs on Labor and Delivery, and we are going to ICU to do fetal monitoring for positive moms. We constantly weave in and out of ambulances on the way to and from the hotel. I’m not complaining.

I was present and praising God at the beginning of 2 new lives today. The OB charge nurse called the 4 of us crisis nurses together n she stood up and told us that when she saw on the news that nurses were coming from all over the country to help in NY, she was emotional and touched. When she heard her hospital was getting 200 nurses, she was excited. But when we walked onto her unit to work, she couldn’t believe it. She thanked us with a sincerity that was raw and I will never forget.

Across town my friend Sid had a different day. When she text me I put my phone down and cried. You don’t even have to be there to feel the terror of that shift. Its not plateaued, and it’s not slowing down. Again, she is not at the same hospital I am.

****five codes… they all die. staff is so so rude and unhelpful. it’s such a toxic environment. my patient was one of them at 0630. my vent stopped working because it’s a damn portable and he’s been on it for three days. they refused to get him another one and said that they had to save them for other patients… I bagged him for a good 30-45 minutes without a peep valve and of course he started to decompensate. it was me and a resident and nobody would help, he coded and died. the bus has left me. I have to wait for a van to come get me. we are reusing code carts over and over, we have no oxygen on the unit, the low oxygen alarms are going off, we are out of sedation, we’re using pediatric pulse ox’s… i’m doing things that are just going against my morals and it’s so hard to see how these patients are going down. I do not think covid is killing these people, it’s the lack of staff, education, equipment and resources…. *****

And so now there’s that.

Oh, and my other friend here, that I came with, she was in the ER today, positive.

CarrieAnn April 3 at 8:07 PM ·

On day 7, the Midwest is looking really good. After a week here, working nonstop, you’re a different person. I miss home, miss my kids and I miss my husband, Joshua, who tried everything from arguing to pleading with me not to go-because he was worried about my health-but has been indescribably supportive, and encouraging me every day. I love you. Im irritable and emotional. Tears fell out of my eyes and right down onto my patients bed yesterday as I’m leaning over her doing all the things when we lost fetal heart tones. That’s not how I nurse, and has nevvver happened. I just couldn’t help it. The feeling of impending doom is heavy. There are numerous morgue trailers, morgue tents, and mobile morgue trucks all over the city. Ambulances constantly speeding by, lights on, horns blaring. Don’t miss the view from my patients labor room below. The hospitals here have now started ethical triage. That’s when families are simply told there are no ventilators to save your family member. Do they need a ventilator to survive? Yes? Then roll them over there to die. People over 65 have been denied ventilators to give it to a younger person who has a better chance. WHAT-? Many healthcare workers here are writing their last will and testament. New York has now initiated orders that first responders cannot transport people to hospitals if they cannot be revived on the field. They just don’t…even…take…them. Can you imagine, in our country, calling 911 because your wife can’t breath and they won’t even put her into the ambulance? Thousands of nurses, nurse practitioners and doctors have come to New York, and are risking their lives to help. NO ONE knows how they will respond to the virus..you may be okay, you may die. All you have to do is stay home. Or you could be standing in the emergency room hearing “I’m sorry but we don’t have a ventilator for your wife/son/daughter.” No bullshit. How bout the NYFD though, greeting nurses for our shift 🙌🏼❤️

CarrieAnn April 5 at 10:07 AM ·

Yesterday was day 8, and it was the closest representation of a “normal” day in labor and delivery. I had a 1:1 mag patient that I was able to give the appropriate amount of attention to, and I didn’t feel like running off the floor once. I’ve gotten a lot of support and kindness from the staff nurses here, and that makes a huge difference. There are 2 covid+ moms on the unit- these women are SICK- and we sectioned a mom that was in ICU because her oxygen was in the 80’s, and although she resisted having a c/s all day, insisting God would get her through it, her body couldn’t win out over the strain the virus was putting on it. Her baby was born alive and went to NICU.. but this unit continues to focus on life and beginnings. It’s upbeat- a small little bubble of happiness compared to the rest of this city. I also received a package from the best best friend, Lynn, with more “stuff” I couldn’t live without! Shaina, you’re a special kind of person, and I’ll never forget the N95s you had for yourself, but sent to me instead. ♥️ So I’ll use this opportunity to share some pics I’ve taken since I’ve been here..none too exciting, no touristy or cool things that one would want to see on their first trip to New York, but New York nonetheless.

Madison Square Garden

New Yorker, Carries Hotel

CarrieAnn April 5 at 3:02 PM ·

Live♥️ NYFD here showing love to the health care workers!

CarrieAnn Munson April 6 at 9:38 AM ·

Day 9….Yesterday was my 9th day in a row working in New York City. The NYFD came to Jacobi and showed the nurses and docs some love, and that was cool. L&D was slow so I was floated to PEDS, which isn’t pediatrics at all anymore. It’s now an adult med-surg with double occupancy rooms. Practically every patient is covid positive or covid rule-out. The stream of admissions literally doesn’t stop and I heard the charge nurse say I’m at maximum capacity now so what do I do- put 3 in a room? The mood is still upbeat. This charge nurse was joking and laughing, trying to keep his nurses light and moral high. One of the nurses in my group got onto the bus tearful, saying she lost one of the patients she’s taken care of since we arrived here. A 38 year old man, who left his wife and 10 year old son, and died alone because of quarantine. The things etched in our minds eye and memories are hard to explain in words, you just can’t understand it without seeing it. The people who are really sick go from bad to worse quickly, and recovery, if at all, is very slow. The few people that do get extubated, are still 100% dependent on BiPAP. For those who are intubated, more than half are on very strong medications to keep their blood pressure up. And still many of them are dying anyway, despite our best efforts. The most tragic part, is that they are alone. Staff uses their iPhones regularly so that families can use FaceTime to see their person one last time, and say goodbye. There are videos people are taking suggesting that the situation in New York is not as bad as the media projects. I don’t have the time to watch all the news right now, and I can agree that the streets, even around the hospitals, are not crowded. However, that is NOT an accurate depiction of where actual patient care is being provided. At least in Queens, and the Bronx.. even Manhattan, every department that cares for the critically ill is stretched way beyond normal capacity. I have been working with nurses and physicians, anesthesiologists, general surgeons, gynecologists, physician assistants, nurse practitioners, and nurse anesthetists, all of whom have been stepping in to do their best to function as intensive care and/or emergency medical providers. In the emergency room, there literally is no more room for additional stretchers, and those less ill are sitting in chairs, for hours and hours. This pandemic is real. The severity, which luckily doesn’t seem to impact the majority, is devastating for the minority. Please- distance yourself from others. Act like you have it, and everyone who doesn’t live with you has it too. You may get Covid, you may not. You may get really sick, you may not. But you could be the reason someone else does, without ever knowing.. and some of them are DYING. Dying with no family member there in their final moments…and that would be much worse than missing out on time with your friends, or not eating in your favorite restaurant.

CarrieAnn April 7 at 8:24 PM ·

Day 10….Yesterday was day 10. My friend was woken by a call on her room phone from the NYPD, saying there was a complaint against her and she needed to come to the police station for questioning. The officer told her he didn’t want to embarrass her so he would give her time to shower, and she could wear her street clothes (not scrubs) down to the lobby where he would meet her in 40 minutes, walk her out and cuff her before putting her into his car. She called home to fill them in and was told to call the police station back and ask questions. She learned that no officer had called her, no complaint had been filed against her, and no officer was coming to pick her up to take her to the police station for questioning. She notified our company who quickly made arrangements to move her, and make her non-registered. They are also making frequent checks on her. So not only are we fighting the virus, lack of sleep and hot meals, long hours on our feet, homesickness, death in our faces…. now we have to worry about abduction, or worse. W. T. F. Today was my 11th day working in New York. It was a good day. I was just a labor nurse, it was a nice pace, with wonderful fellow nurses, and a good delivery. God is present, and He is good. I am tired, and homesick, He knew I needed a day like this.

CarrieAnn April 9 at 6:04 AM ·

I have NO WORDS for the overwhelming feeling of gratitude and appreciation to each and every one of you- and I know who you are- that took the time out of your day -and money out of your wallet- to send me something here in New York to make my time easier. I’ll never forget it. ♥️♥️♥️

CarrieAnn April 9 at 7:03 PM ·

Day 13….Today was my 13th day here. Today we also had military nurses arrive at the hospital and assigned to the floor. It is an actual deployment for them. Today I started my shift counting the codes paged overhead, and just realized I stopped counting at 11, hours ago. Today we started swabbing all patients admitted to labor, regardless if they show symptoms or not. Have any of you had this done?..or seen it done?… if you haven’t yet, go ahead and search a video. The swab goes up your nostril all the way back, to your throat. Thrrroaat. Their eyes water and they try to stall, some women push the providers hands away over and over..and then they swab the other side. I miss home, and it feels so much longer than 2 weeks. But I have so much love and support from home..thanks again to all of you that sent me care packages, you can’t know how much of a difference it makes. And this unit continues to make each of us one of their own, embracing us more every day, with endless thank you’s. I still feel healthy, with no signs of illness, so I won’t be whining or complaining.

This is Carrie’s first 13 days. It is so hard to comprehend as we just sit here every day waiting for the days to pass. We see it on the news, but the reality does really have the full impact unless you know someone who is fighting the fight……Part 2 will follow her to DAY 21

Part 1….Carrie in New York….Tammy’s Friend….Coronavirus In the beginning of all this, I mentioned Tammy had 2 other nurse friends in New York City.

#Corona #Coronavirus #COVID-19 #Jacobi Medical Center #New York City #New Yorker #NYFD #Pandemic

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mylovemyweakness · 4 years

Text

Banana Bread and Apple Juice

He texted me one day and I asked me how I was, I said “I feel ugh, you know?” and he let me speak to him, hours on end, but for a price of my dignity and self respect. I remember you imagining us on your bed together

not doing anything wrong,

But we were watching the old batman films

You had them on vhs

I remember calling you at midnight

and you left your party

Just to speak to me

Because we hadn’t spoken in a week

You told me you were happy to hear from me

You told me that you missed me

I remember calling you on my mother’s birthday

And we spoke for almost three hours

Until 2:30 am about everything

And it didn't matter who spoke more or less,

Or what we spoke about

We just were simply happy to listen to each other

Our voices again

I remember you calling me and telling me

Once i got better you would take me to the movies

And wed watch something

Together

I remember calling you when i got bad again

I was in hospital again and you promised me

You would come to visit me

And you would bring me banana bread and apple juice

I remember hearing your morning voice

Telling me that eventually,

I will get better

We’d eat toasted banana bread

Drink too much apple juice

Together

I remember the nurse calling me

“you‘ve got a phone call”

I pick up the phone and hear it was you

You told me that i would get better soon

I remember you being the only person i believed

When everyone was telling me

“It will get better soon”

And that “it gets better”

I remember calling you every 2-3 days

In the hospital,

Trying not to seem to eager or desperate,

Even though i was

I remember the nurse dialling your number

As I recited it to them.

They passed the telephone through the hole in the plexi glass

Only to realise you don’t pick up after the seventh beep

I remember that happening for almost two weeks

I remember you never coming to see me

In the hospital

Even though other friends did

I remember walking through woods,

Listening to two songs on repeat

Through earphones i wish i could strangle myself with

Thinking that maybe i could call you

Maybe you would finally pick up

Because i needed someone's help

I thought you would understand

And yours was the only number i had memorized

I remember telling you how bad i had got

Showing you the scars and open wounds

Hoping that you would accept the mess i was

I remember you being shocked and scared

And all you could say was

Im sorry

I remember the voices wouldn't stop

And that i couldn't control the self hatred

I told you i didn't deserve you

Updated you on how ugly i had drawn myself to be

With the use of cheap, stolen pencil sharpener blades

I told you i’m not who you saw me as the last time you saw me;

Over a month ago

I remember you telling me

Promising me

That you didn't want us to end

I remember knowing i had ruined it

I remember other friends organizing a welcoming party for me

Once i got discharged

And you didn't want to come

And i respected that

I remember you showed up anyways

And was shocked i actually left my house for once

Shocked to see me in the flesh

I remember being shocked too

I said hi as you awkwardly nodded your head,

Acknowledging my presence

And then walking away with your hat

That you gave me

That kept me sane for the last month and a half

I remember knowing i had ruined it

I remember being stressed and needed to talk

So I thought you would listen.

You were nervous and i knew i needed to apologize for ruining it

I remember you saying “about that…”

I remember you saying that you think it might be best if we just chilled for a bit.

I remember being so shocked

All i could say was

“Sounds fair”

I remember losing my will to live:

You

I remember crying until i couldn't

I ruined everything else i had in my life

I remember mother calling the police on me

As they held me down

Sedated me

And threw me back in the back of the ambulance,

And put me back in hospital

I remember still wanting to die

And crying over you

And needing a hug but not getting one

I remember coming out of the hospital

Again

But with a better plan

I remember saving meds for the next 5 days

Hiding them in the tin geometry set box,

Beneath the rulers and protractors.

I remember being calm

Listening to a playlist

Dedicated to you

At 1 am in the morning

Indulging in the pills

And knowing this was,

Happily,

The end

I remember slicing my arms

Until they looked like bloody gills from a fish

And watching my arms bleed out,

With blood gathering in a puddle on each of my leggings

I remember laughing as i sang to the songs i loved

The songs you loved too

That night

Waiting for me eyes to fail on me,

and then eventually my whole body,

For good this time

I remember waking

10 hours later

By screams of anger

And disgust

And shock

And disappointment

By my family and the voices

I remember being waking,

And being hurt more than anything ever

Because it didnt fucking work

Again.

I remember shaming myself for it

For weeks,

Knowing i had failed myself

And everyone around me

Again.

I remember realising that i couldn't call you about it

Knowing i had no more of you

But a ring you slipped on my finger one day

The ring that my father

Kept telling me to take off

Because it wasn't mine anymore

And i didnt deserve it

And i couldn't be mad at him

For saying that

Because he was right

I remember waiting for you to come back

Knowing that you wouldn't

I remember still constantly thinking of you

And wanting to know

Why i failed you

And how i could make it better

I remember losing interest in trying to make amends with everyone

Losing interest in my playlists

Losing interest in eating

Losing interest in what my doctors were telling me

All i wanted was to just sleep

Forever

But the voices.

I remember sitting on my bed tonight

Waiting for all of this remembering to stop

Crying myself to sleep

It be 3:09 am

Smelling the snot and tears dry on my pillows

I remember my mother coming to sit on my bed

Asking if there was anything you could do to help

“No”, the voices said

“No”, I said to my mother.

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timetowxste · 7 years

Text

I miss my fucking brother.

So my brother passed away in April and i can't stop replaying everything in my head. I try to do a million things in a day to help keep me busy so i don't have to think about it. And when i don't think about it, i'm almost ok... but when i have nothing left to do, i'm almost always crying. I lost a huge part of me. A huge part of my life. Growing up, it was always just us two against the world. Having that brother and sister bond, the arguing, the laughing, the playing pretend, the always having each other's backs thing, everything is just gone. Whenever we'd get in trouble, we'd always have each other. We've been through so much, from our alcoholic parents running away from us, the cops coming to get us and us having to go stay places... Our little hole we dug in our front yard, always playing cars outside.. or jumping off the shack and propane tank onto the trampoline. secretly playing Mario on our old school tv with the blanket over us almost like a little gaming fort, and getting into trouble when we'd laugh because we were suppose to be sleeping.. all the birthdays, christmas', and just every day... my whole life. you were my whole life. i just wanna say sorry for leaving you for 4 years when i lived with my grandma and when you moved away. Im sorry i didn't come with you. I cry so much thinking of what you told me. how you said you always cried whenever i'd leave when i'd go visit.. how you and i missed out on so much memories together those years we spent apart... how i could have done fun things with you during that time and instead you stayed in your room for those years and rarely went out, and when you did, you'd go see your friend. i'm thankful you had a friend there. and i'm so thankful you moved in with me when i got a place here. I'm so thankful we made a few new memories here. I'm so sorry for getting upset with you, from time to time, i feel like i was such a bad sister. It's so hard for me to show people how i truly feel and that's one big fucked up thing about me. i'm sorry i didn't show you how i felt about you every day. You were a great brother and i appreciate all of the laughs we shared. all of the pranks and even just bugging you and stealing your food. Little things like that i'll always cherish... i'll always remember the way my stomach felt as i was walking in that hospital. i wanted to throw up. i was so anxious and saddened knowing you were hurt that bad. no one would ever think by just falling down stairs, it would be that bad. that's why when i found out that morning, i just said "fuckin darren... he'll be ok" and just went back to bed. i should have just rushed over there and maybe you'd see me as you freaked out in ilex when they rushed you there. mom told me you tried to pull out your tubes and you were talking nonsense and the only thing that she understood was "oh my gosh" i always try to put myself in your shoes and imagine the kind of headache you were feeling as your brain was swelling up... then they sedated you and you never woke up after that. who knew all of this would happen just by falling down stairs? Swollen brain.. blood inside the brain in multiple places... then you developed pneumonia and they had to try warm you up and cool you down, a part of me is thinking that's how you got pneumonia in the first place.. they should've just left your body to be in room temperature.. idk but i'm not a doctor so.. yeah.. then after pneumonia, your kidneys and every other organ started failing and they couldn't even fix them because it was putting too much stress on your heart and if they were to try fix one thing, then your heart would stop... UGH!! Mom told me you opened your eyes in the hospital. and the doctors tried to speak to you but you closed your eyes again. I wish they stayed open. i'll never forget that doctor coming in the room and saying there's nothing more they could do and we just had to watch you go. i hope you felt me as i held onto you. i hope you heard me as i whispered in your ear that you'll be okay, as every machine in that room shut down and your heart stopped beating. i know i'll never forget it. i'll never forget actually feeling your heart stop as i put my hand over your chest. i'll never forget the screams i made and how i couldn't even breathe for a second. and in that second, i wished with all my might that i could go with you.. but i know mom needed me so i couldn't. I can't even imagine how mom feels every day. losing her baby boy... i can't even imagine losing my girl because it pains me. mom is so strong still going through each day knowing you're gone, she's still working and everything... but me, it's really fucking hard on me. i can't even think of my future or anything because i'm too depressed. it's almost as if i can't live without you. but i know i have to. for my sammy, i have to live. i have to be a good parent and be there for my girl. i know you'd want me to. and i know you're probably here with me as i type all of this. even just knowing that, it's not the same, it's never gonna be the same. i wish you'd just come home... i always look at the door whenever id hear someone walk up my steps and for a second i'd picture you walking through the door coming home to eat your chips i bought you. i told you to take those chips to brayden's house but you said you'd eat them when you come back.. and you never came back. 😢 as angry and hurt as i am, i still forgave your friend. he pushed you down those stairs, and i know mom will never forgive him for that. but i do. maybe deep down, i don't want to because a part of me is saying how he took my brother away... but i know it's not healthy for me to be so unforgiving.. i'm trying my best to stay strong. some days it just gets to me and i have to go in your room and cry... i know without my sam, idk what id do. i probably would have taken a gun and shot myself. and that's the truth. children are saviours. my sam helps me every day and i know you must think of her and come visit her all the time. of course you would, you loved her so much. this whole post is all over the place but that's my mind for ya! i don't even care about the grammar and all that because well, who would care? especially when they're writing something as emotional as this. i just miss my brother. so fucking much. with every inch of my being i will always fucking miss and love you, Darren.

#personal

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