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thoughtfulfoxllama · 4 months

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You wanted me to spill tea, and tea I will spill:

The Word of Wisdom is fundamentally misunderstood by everyone (myself included). Let's look at the Word of Wisdom, shall we?

Let's begin with the Prohibitions, as these are the only things enforced by the Church. They comprise of Alcohol, Tobacco, Illicit Drugs, Coffee, and Tea. From the start, we can't deny Tobacco, Coffee, or Tea. The WoW only said "Hot Drinks," but Hyrum (who was authorized to receive revelation for the Church at the time) said it meant Coffee & Tea.

On the subject of Tea, Herbs of the Field. The Lord has told us to use all the herbs of the field with prudence. This is not me saying to distrust medical professionals, but they can help sometimes. I can't count how many times I've had a horrible stomach ache helped by Peppermint Tea. But it'd be dumb to reject the advancements in medicine we've made in the past 10,000 years. This is also why I support medicinal marijuana (and other things like psychedelic therapy). As long as it is used in wisdom & moderation, it can do good for a number of physical and mental issues (such as my grandmother using it for her seizures, or that veteran who used it for his PTSD)

Finally, Alcohol. The Word of Wisdom only prohibits "strong drinks" (which was defined as distilled alcohol, like Vodka). It encourages Mild Drinks (such as beer), and says we can have wine, if Mormons make it. Joseph drank wine (for pleasure, not just for ritual), Brigham owned a Brewery, and on and on. Obviously, wisdom & prudence. If someone has alcohol issues, they shouldn't drink. This fits into my concept of Zion. Drinking for Pleasure is fine, but Drunkenness is unacceptable. We need to enjoy pleasure without getting consumed by them. But since so few of us can manage that, I see why the Church went the way it did

Next, what have we been encouraged to eat. Grain (which is the Staff of Life), Fruits, and Vegetables. There are people who can't eat them (people with Gluten Intolerances & the like), but I can't argue with this. Fruits and Veggies are good

Although, wisdom is required here too. Not all food is made equal. I'm not going to go completely crazy about GMOs (we've been modifying our food for over 5 millennia), but we need to be more careful about the affects. And the flour we use nowadays is stripped of basically all it's nutritional benefits

Final is the mixed category, namely meats & animal products

The WoW never actually mentions animal products, so this is all me. Animal Products are good, and should be used. Eggs (especially considering the "eat meat sparingly" part) are an amazing source of protein. Milk is good for calcium, if you're not lactose intolerant (like I am). The Lord approves of Honey so much he constantly mentions it in association with the Promised Land(s), and specifically told the Jaredites to take bees with them. But, like all foods we've covered so far, careful. My FiL used to be Egg Intolerant, until he started raising his own Chickens, and he's had no problems with those eggs (and they taste way better, and fill me up way more than Store-Bought ones)

The Lord taught us to "eat meat sparingly," and I've seen a bunch of interpretations, from Vegans to Carnivores. All hold some merits, but no one gets it all right. I don't even think I get this one. Ryan Hinkley (a Blogger & Podcaster) said part of his interpretation is that we should do the least harm. He advocates restricting meat use to meats like Venison and Beef, because they are large enough to feed a lot of people over a long period of time (and have you ever had Venison Tacos. Try it sometime, if you eat meat). It mentions Cold & Famine, and this could be because of the extra protein, which allows you to build mass, to keep warm in winter, and last longer in famine times. In addition, if you work in agriculture (especially in the time of JS), that's the most available food you have in the dead of winter. I want to add to this the prophecy about the Sons of Levi offering a sacrifice. Sacrifice for the remission of sins is done away with, but I believe animal sacrifice will return. In Biblical Animal Sacrifice, the Meat (for the most part) wasn't burned to dust, but roasted and eaten. If I am correct, and it does return, then the reason we are to eat meat sparingly is so that when we do eat it, it's as a celebration of the mercies of God. That's just my crackpot theory though, with ideas I've had floating around for years

(And this is all just a theory. I want to try restricting my meat intake & whatnot, but I don't feel ready for that. And even if the Church said we could drink, I probably wouldn't, because I have a family history of alcohol & drug abuse)

#mormon #lds #tumblrstake #queerstake #lds church #word of wisdom #mormon hot take #you can take my hot cocoa from my cold dead hands #and i can't sleep without vanilla chamomile

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mangosimoothie · 2 months

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Chapter 11: 𝕯𝖎𝖘𝖒𝖎𝖘𝖘𝖆𝖑 𝐼𝐼𝐼 (2/4)

Sometimes I feel like I want to leave Behind all these memories @foxsimthings

start | prev |next

transcript:

ATTICUS: Don’t do anything rash, my love. RYAN: I don’t think killing him is rash.

RYAN: … What the? No! Where the Hell is he?!

You are a phantom limb. I reach out to you, but you’re not there. You’re a pain with no source. An ache. An itch. A ghost of a feeling.

You are a phantom limb. I try to crack the joint but there is nothing to bend. You’re a hollow space between two broken edges. A sentence fragment. A faded memory.

You are a phantom limb. Please, sever yourself from me. Let me go. Fade to nothing.

Goodbye, goodbye, goodbye, goodbye, Goodbye.

#ts4 story #ts4 storyteller #simblr #ts4 occult #the familiar #f112 #for a truly immersive experience start the song on the 4th panel 🤌🏾

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vince-noir-666 · 8 months

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Source

What's new for this series? Are there any new games or updated rounds?

I feel like people love the Buzzcocks format and they would freak out if we changed it. The show is so famous it's one of those that can go on forever and it doesn't matter who's in it.

The weird Mick Hucknall game that Greg is obsessed with is back. He essentially puts Mick Hucknall's picture over someone else's face and we guess who's behind it.

What can you tell us about the guests this series? Who can we expect to see?

The Nova Twins were on my team who were hilarious... and telepathic. They're for young people but I'm quite interested in their music. There's also been Suggs from Madness and Harry Hill, which was exciting. Katherine Ryan was also very funny.

Gregory Porter was absolutely amazing. No one really knew what he was going to be like, because he has that smooth beautiful soul voice, but he was really funny. He pitched it really well. Americans are always good at that, coming in, working out what is going on, then finding the right level and tone and joining in. He is a class act.

What has been your most embarrassing celebrity encounter?

What, ever? Jesus... When I was partying, I had a lot of weird encounters. Pete Doherty bit my ear once. Not off, but he did draw blood. I'm trying to think of things that won't get other people in trouble.

What's the best thing about filming Never Mind The Buzzcocks? What's the worst?

I have a soft spot for the show because I spent five or six years doing it with Phill Jupitus so it's part of my life weirdly. It's always 'Bs' with me, there's some kind of magic with the letter B. Boosh, Bake Off and Buzzcocks. I'm scared to make a show that doesn't begin with B.

I like that it's about music as there doesn't seem to be any other shows out there about music. I love all the people on it so it's easy for me to do. I also like the fact there's an audience because it makes it quite exciting.

You first appeared on the show way back in 2007. What's changed since then?

It's interesting doing it this time now that I'm older. When I used to do it, I would get shitfaced before the show and take the guests out to The Groucho Club and it would end up really messy. I would sometimes even do the show without going to bed the night before.

I remember once I hadn't been to bed for a few days and when I came into the studio, Lorraine Kelly chased me around and spanked me over the desk with a wooden spoon. At that point I didn't know if I was dreaming, or if that was real, but I knew I needed to go to bed.

Another time I was out at a party, and someone had to come and get me and bring me in. Weirdly, they went quite well, those shows.

Now I've got two children, it's more like a cup of tea and then home.

Which of your fellow panellists do you have the most rivalry with?

I like taking the piss out of Greg, but me and Jamali aren't that bothered about winning. We're not adverse to cheating but to be honest we never win so it doesn't make a difference. I feel like we've only won once throughout the whole three series! The downfall is down to us both.

Which panellist is the cheekiest?

I wouldn't describe anyone as cheeky, so maybe that means I am. Greg's quite cheeky, he makes it quite jovial and fun. Daisy is the most ridiculous, and I mean that as a compliment, because she says things you would never think of saying and does things that you can't believe your eyes are seeing. Jamali is absolutely vicious, he can destroy people. He is the most troublesome because he absolutely annihilates the identity parade line-up but that's his thing, he's like a viper. He just sits back and bang.

Who has the best banter?

Me and Greg have quite good banter because we've known each other for quite a long time. We did stand-up together so we're old mates. I love working with Jamali, we're like the double act that no one knew they needed in a bad cop movie.

Who on the panel causes the most chaos?

Daisy. She is chaos. She dresses amazingly though and has been killing it with some amazing dresses and looks.

If you and your fellow panellists were in band, what would that band be called and who would be the lead singer?

Oh Jesus Christ. I'd have to be the lead singer, wouldn't I? Greg on drums. I feel like Jamali wouldn't turn up, he couldn't be fucked, but if he was there, he'd be on bass. I'd have to be pulling some shapes at the front although Daisy could also do that.

If you were in a band, which other celebrities or musicians would you want to play alongside?

I used to be in a band with Serge from Kasabian called Loose Tapestries. We never performed live, but I would've liked to. It was mostly TV soundtrack stuff.

I was also the lead singer in couple of bands years ago, around the same time I started comedy, which were called Smee and Slam Icabod.

I've also done some things with Razorlight. I did a gig at The Royal Albert Hall and Jonny Burrell came on. What was good about making The Mighty Boosh, was that Julian [Barratt] and I could make different types of music but when you're in a band you have to choose one genre. We could do surf rock, electro, funk, and jazz because it was a comedy show.

Who would be your dream Glastonbury headliner?

Elvis would be good, I love Elvis. The Beatles would be good, but don't tell Jamali I said that. Black Sabbath or Jimi Hendrix would be amazing. The Doors as well.

I used to go on stage with Kasabian dressed as Vlad the Impaler and dance around like Bez, a vampire Bez, and one time I went on at Glastonbury. Dolly Parton was on before them, so we chatted for about half an hour, and she complimented my outfit. There must be a picture of us somewhere.

What's your favourite album of all time?

That's a hard one. I'm going to have to say Sticky Fingers by The Rolling Stones. My mum and dad are full rock and rollers, so I grew up on Led Zeppelin, Hendrix, The Doors, The Stones, The Kinks and Black Sabbath. I like the Beastie Boys too.

When we did The Mighty Boosh we were quite into the Wu Tang Clan and Kool Keith. Lots of rap. Beck was quite big then too. Iggy Pop, The Peaches, Joni Mitchell. I like folk, I like everything.

First gig?

It was probably Status Quo or David Bowie with my parents. It was a good start. I remember seeing Oasis before they had an album out. When I was in college it was the likes of Blur, Pulp, Oasis, and Supergrass. When we got famous as The Boosh, we were hanging out with The Yeah Yeah Yeahs and The White Stripes. Then it all went a bit pop.

No disrespect to pop but it's not my thing, X Factor and all that shit. I feel slightly sorry for the kids. Not that I don't love pop - I love ABBA, I love The Bee Gees and Britney Spears. I love bands though, there's something quite magical about bands.

Five of us would perform as The Boosh - if it went well, we could go and celebrate together, and it would be us against the world. You want to like a band when you're young, don't you? Someone that's a little bit rebellious.

#Noel Fielding #interview

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finleyforevermore · 1 year

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HELP DELILAH!!!

About me!

First picture/profile picture/avatar made with this!

Second picture/drawing made by my wonderful friend Korey (@rainpalm)! Great artist and even greater friend, please check their stuff out! :D

Third picture/picrew by @/potato-lord-but-not!

IF A HOSTILE/OFFENSIVE ANON CALLS ME THEIR FRIEND, I AM NOT!!!! IF AN ANON SENDS SELF-HARM PICTURES AND TAGS ME IN THE ASK, THAT IS NOT ME!!!!!

More under the cut, friends! Please be sure to peruse through all of the important links! Thank you! :)

Name: Finley, but you can call me Finn or Fin, too! Stick to one, use 'em all, I don't mind either way!

Birthday: January 8th!

♑ (Capricorn): The Ambitious Nature

Age: Minor

Current obsession(s): Off Book: The Improvised Musical

Other interests: Animation, voice acting, musicals

MBTI: INFJ-T

Gender/Orientation: Cis male, sex-repulsed asexual

Musical genres I like: Musicals, Classical, Orchestral, Jazz, Lo-fi, Ambient, I dabble in rock sometimes 😅

Pronouns: He/him/his

Quote(s) that describe(s) my life:

"And all I really want is some justice! Ahhh!" - "All I Really Want" by Alanis Morrisette, from the album "Jagged Little Pill"

"I've earned the right to selfishly be all for one and one for me." - "Loser Geek Whatever" from "Be More Chill"

Favorite colors: Green and blue.

Favorite Book(s): "Good Dog" by Dan Gemeinhart, "Thanks a Lot, Universe" by Chad Lucas, "Ghost Boys" by Jewell Parker Rhodes, "Long Way Down" by Jason Reynolds.

Favorite Season: Fall/Autumn

Favorite musical(s): Wicked, Come From Away, Hadestown

Favorite film: Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse

Favorite shows: Infinity Train, Bluey, Hilda

DNI:

Homophobic

Xenophobic

Racis

TERFS

Radfems

Anti-abortion

Antisemites

Anti-furries

Anti-therians

Zoophiles

Wilbur Soot defenders/supporters/fans

TERFS

You ship incest, pedophilia, real people, etc.

Anti-BLM/All Lives Matter

Porn bot

Do not stand with Palestine

MAP/NOMAP

Pro-facist

Sexist

Ableist

Islamophobes

✨ INTRODUCING MY INCREDIBLE TUMBLR FAMILY✨:

My virtual moms: Moony (@swapmoony1) and Circus (@circusislife)

My virtual dad: Emu (@i-may-be-an-emu)

My virtual siblings: Zeep (@ziipzeepzop-eez, older sister), Sydney (@that-f-cked-up-bitch, older sibling), Links (@linksarehere, probably older sibling), Gabi (@splendidred05, super cool older sibling), James (@wantmeifyouwantme, super cool older sibling), Cosmo (@p-3-t-r-1-ch-0-r, super cool brother), KitKat (@kittykittyanon, little sibling), Isa (@isasan347, older sibling), Amor (@amorvincitomnia-14, older sister), and Ryan (@the-genderfluid-kony, younger sibling)

My virtual older cousin and resident moth-raccoon friend: Cal (@treasure-goblin)!

My platonic partner: Katnip (@fingerfuck-the-function)!

My other virtual partner(?): Benjamin (@benjaminbadger)!

My Finn Twins/Name Buddies: @finleycannotdraw, @dr-finn, @newsiesreference, @lordcatwich, @alittlemonster, @just-a-honey-badger, @finnslay, @finnlers, @go-banananas, @dobry-slimak, @eddiethebanished, @heartofaspen, @pougelifeornolife, @finntheehumaneater, @urfavvfinn, @shortgaything, @loveliketheocean, @f1inl3ey, @strange0-0storm, @vicariousscrolling, and @zomb13fucker! :)

My Synesthesia Siblings!: Eve (@reptiles-of-the-mind), Vixen (@/p-3-t-r-1-ch-0-r), Randy (@the-newjack), Ali (@deadboywalking227), and MB (@i-am-befuddled)

✨MARVELOUS MUSEUM OF MISCELLANEOUS MUTUALS✨:

Mischa (@/that-f-cked-up-bitch), Ryan (@/the-genderfluid-kony), Joey (@m1sf0rtune-gb), Spike (@thatonesalmonlingnamedspike), Ladybug (@le-velo-pour-dru), MB (@/i-am-befuddled), Natalia (@nats-comet), Ryokyu (@luminethefoxincabin13-ts), Nik (@niknak-paddywack), and myself are all January Buddies!

Bella (@luckynature) is the Ricky Potts to my Jane Doe! :)

Midas (@malacheezyy) is the Jake to my Finn! :)

Other stuff!:

Pall Weople and Hurricane Family enthusiast!

I have chromesthesia!

If my profile pic wasn't any indicator, I wear glasses!

I play the violin and sometimes the piano!

I give off platypus vibes according to my friends!

11 of my friends have called me a "ray of sunshine" so I guess it must be true XD

I like boots more than shoes.

I saw Wicked on 10/5/22!!! 💚💚💚

#about me #bio #pinned post #intro post #intro #bio post

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doll-elvis · 11 months

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Why did Elvis not have full sex with a lot of women he dated

some of y’all’s questions never fail to make my mouth drop- but thank you for the ask!! 😃

I actually do think this is an interesting subject although a little awkward to discuss so I just wanna say a disclaimer:

I obviously didn’t know Elvis in real life, I’m not a psychologist, and only Elvis knows why he did the things he did, all we can do is speculate based on the sources that we have

so based on what I have read I think the reason he often preferred foreplay as opposed to penetrative s*x had to do with both his physical body and his religious/southern/conservative upbringing

According to Lamar Fike “He didn’t like penetration that much because he was uncircumcised, and sometimes intercourse tore his foreskin and he’d bleed”

Marty Lacker also commented “Elvis was a little ashamed of being uncircumcised. Maybe he thought it was old-fashioned or kind of country. He mentioned once that s*x was a little painful sometimes because the foreskin tore”

Elvis was born at home and Gladys and Vernon, like many parents, couldn’t afford to have the procedure done. For some reason there is a stigma against uncircumcised men in the U.S and I often see it being associated with uncleanliness (which is probably why Elvis showed Joyce Bova how he cleaned it, iykyk🤧) However for Elvis I think he also saw it as a mark of his impoverished upbringing like Marty Lacker suggested and reportedly Elvis referred to little Elvis as a “hillbilly pecker”

And in the later years I understand that the prescription medication often made Elvis impotent, also I’m sure he just suffered from general exhaustion considering how much performed

Lamar Fike said “Dr. Nick wasn’t giving Elvis testosterone just to make him more virile onstage. Shit, no. He gave it to him for impotence. You couldn’t dope up that much and get a hard-on if Elizabeth Taylor stuck her ass in your face”

Peggy Lipton who he briefly dated said: “A heavy making out and petting session ensued. The petting went on for a quite a while. And then we made love. Or tried to… he was virtually impotent because of the drugs”

However I think it’s untrue to say that Elvis never enjoyed intercourse. According to Barbara Leigh whenever her and Elvis hooked up they would often consummate twice in one night. Joyce Bova and Diana Goodman also gave some very descriptive and frequent stories of their s*x life with him in their books 👀 and of course there have been a lot more women who have said they went all the way with him

Sheila Ryan said “We did have a very active passionate romantic life. Sometimes more than I was ready for, prepared for. Sometimes I was tired and it was ‘no, no, no’. So, you know, I’m really surprised to hear that other women had a problem with the lack of intimacy and s*x”

(once again I wish I was Sheila Ryan in the 70s !!)

Anyways, as I said before I also think his religious and southern upbringing had a lot to do with how he viewed s*x

Joe Esposito said “Despite his s*xual escapades, Elvis had a disarming naïveté when it came to women and s*x. Deep down, he believed s*x and fatherhood were for marriage”

Elvis was raised in and believed in a culture where s*x was strictly for marriage and so he simply found other ways to please himself. I also think he occasionally felt religious guilt for acting out s*xually so that is why he sometimes tried to be fully abstinent, like that one time in the 60s he told Priscilla that he had to learn to control himself from lust

Y’all know when Lana Del Rey said in the national anthem monologue “I always got the sense that he became torn between being a good person and missing out on all of the opportunities that life could offer a man as magnificent as him”?

That quote has always reminded me of Elvis😭!!

I think he was stuck between his love for women (plus the fact that so many were available to him) and his religious upbringing (believing that s*x and virginity were something sacred)

what do y’all think?

#thank you for the ask!!#never did I think I would use a Lana del rey song to explain why Elvis liked foreplay #just Elvis things #Elvis anecdotes #I wish someone had told Elvis how uncommon circumcision is in other countries 😭#he would have been thriving on a European tour #elvisaaronpresley #elvis #Elvis asks #elvis presley

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supermachoman · 3 months

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I saw your post hihihi, could you write some Aran X reader headcanons? (⁠◍⁠•⁠ᴗ⁠•⁠◍⁠) Like how Aran would act in front of his beloved when he realised he has a crush on them?

hihi ! sorry this took a while, im a slow writer & ive been busy lol

okay so. tried my best. i went with the idea of reader/beloved being someone who works for the wvba but isnt a boxer, left it unspecific.

first few bullets are pre-crush/general hc stuff, then the stuff u actually asked for happens. im still figuring out how i wanna characterise these fucks so if it seems odd or ooc please lmk

aran ryan with a crush | headcanons! gn reader

cw brief mention of alcohol and vomiting. nothing huge, just mentioned in passing but slapped this here anyway. also penultimate bullet point is a bit sexual but again only brief, u can skip over it

Emotions aren't Aran's strong point. Most complex feelings he has are released in the ring--he finds bloody noses and bruised stomachs are far more interesting conversation partners anyway--and the ones that stay rooted deep in his belly are routinely sweat out or lost in the haze of a night on the town. Rinse and repeat ad nauseum. Wallowing in it helps no one, after all.

But sometimes, a feeling in his gut won't get chased away as easily as, say, guilt or grief. A stubborn sort of stabbing, not unlike himself, gets tangled in his belly, too stuck for his stomach acid to burn through when wild nights come back for seconds.

As much as his thick skull in the ring would have you think otherwise, he's not dense. He knows what crushes are, had more than enough in secondary school, and he's not oblivious to it nor the source. He doesn't even know you *that* well--yet--but that's never stopped the heart from wanting.

cont under cut

There's no real "moment" he realises, no build-up, just sitting exhausted after a match well-won, and being now too tired to now fight the butterflies swarming his stomach or stop his eyes from following you as you pass by with a clipboard. He hides his gaze with a swig of water, drinking a bit more aggressively than he needs to and spills half of it, and by the time he recovers you've disappeared. The buzz in his gut doesn't fade, just deflates, and his hand meets his sodden hair with a half-hearted groan. Fuck.

For a while, he tries to shove it down. Where knuckles and bottles don't work, brute force emotional repression just might. "Not ready" to be tossed into dealings of love again, he'll try convince himself. Should that fail it's "Grown men don't have silly little crushes, make a move or get over yourself."

He's not as good at hiding his emotions as he'd have himself think. Just as he can't help a cruel grin in the ring, smiles find their way onto his face before he has a chance to realise he's pleased. What he intends to be a subtle smolder looks more like a hyena after a successful hunt, toothy and wide, with red blood swapped for rosy cheeks. Of course, he then attempts to recoup and snap his head away with an exaggerated frown, leaving you to wonder if he was happy to see you or wants to devour you.

Its embarrassing. He feels like a fawn, unable to properly control himself or function as soon as you step in the room. He swears all he has to do is smell you and his heart spikes not that he'd know what you smell like.

Pre-match, he doesn't want to see you. Or during, really. This suffocating adoration that came from nowhere has choked him enough to messing up in the lowest stake situations--he still gets teased over the time he intended to pass you your drink and full-hand knocked it over in his flushed haste--he doesn't want to risk it coming to bite him when it really matters. He makes a point to not provoke the audience close to staff, at risk of seeing your face--perhaps disappointed, perhaps amused--and throwing his game off.

And in turn, post-match is his favourite time to see you. Though Aran Ryan being calm will happen when pigs fly, the rush of a bout serves well to at least temper his energy a bit. Not as erratic, or bouncy, and a bit more in control of himself. Plus any fuckups can be blamed on muscle fatigue. You dote on him as best you can, he's noticed. Asking if he needs anything, offering to ease the strain rippling under his skin... Another bonus of being all tuckered is his face already being red and sweaty, so he's in no rush to hide flush that creeps up his neck as you fuss over him.

He'll make a show, teasing you for wanting to help, and as subtly as he can try to delve a little deeper, find out more about yourself. Whether you're working his wounds or jotting down on a clipboard, your company is exhilarating. It makes him giggle laugh. The insane cackle of a man has never sounded so nervous.

As he learns about you, as you grow closer and start meeting outside of designated hours, he feels both at ease and more tense. Scared of scaring you off, as he often finds he does, but he still won't dial himself back for your sake. Wants you to see him bear all and like him anyway. So he checks. He does what he wants, does his best to not act too different where it matters, and simply... checks. Waits for your reaction. His intention is to see if he should pursue, so to speak, that you simply enjoy him and his company regardless of his reputation or persona or who he is on a genuine level. As well as if, yeah, he didn't need to yell at that guy like that, that was just uncalled for. He's perhaps not the best judge on that end, though.

Speaking of trying not to act different, well, everyone acts a fool in love. He can certainly try, but an early 20s man in a male-dominated sport? There's at least a few masculinity issues trailing aftet him. He can't help but puff his chest out like a bird of paradise when you compliment him, or flex his arm when you so much as graze it. Simply can't stop himself from saying how he could protect you if you're walking through a forest, or wanting to compare hand sizes, regardless of your size compared to him.

Aran Ryan is still Aran Ryan. While there is an extent of not wanting to scare you off, he's not holding back on the name-calling or insults, no mattet how playful. He may dig too deep into genuinely sensitive areas though. Maybe he's still in denial about this, trying to prove it to himself. Or he's just not that great at boundaries.

He's nearly tripped over his own feet several times. One time you managed to grab his hoodie only to also fall onto his back. Nearly died, he swears. Cushioned your fall quite nicely at least. He'll want to make a lewd joke about it, but gets embarrassed as it leaves his mouth because he gets a mental image so it descends into stuttering and ends up insulting you instead to cover himself. Brilliant work Ryan really making yourself look great.

Aran's a mess of a man. He's all over the place. Stuck between wanting to impress you and staying true to himself unabashedly, and he finds doing both is very difficult. Past lovers compounded that. And as long as his affections remain unrequited or secret, that's not really going to change easily. Maybe its comfort he needs, or just a helping hand. Maybe you should say something...

GOD im so sorry this is SO all over the place i qrote this over several days so my flow wasnt there and i dont wanna put too much effort into thesee. i. need to write down how i charactetise these guys stat so im uh sorry if this is shit. i would have a nicer ending to out a ribbon on but idk how to end bullet point hc stuff so. enjoyyy

AND TY FOR REQUESRTING !!! as much as im bitching this was fun to do !!! and also feel free to send more of these in !! i can do more like this or i can do thise ones that like its a scenario and all the boxers react to it those seem fun

#punch out #aran ryan #x reader #headcanons #punch out x reader #aran ryan x reader #ive got one for bhugger next #that im excited to do cause love that guy #remind me to do a mini character analysis on these guys at some point so i can like Headcanon Good

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wild-mangonada · 2 years

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What she says: I’m fine

What she means: Not a day goes by where I don’t think about Taylor Alison Swift watching Glee Season Four, Episode Fourteen “I Do” in which her friend, Dianna Agron, whom she was attached to the hip to for a year, never to be seen together ever again, is fucked twice by her bisexual co-star playing lesbian icon Santana Lopez. I will never be free of that fateful tweet posted at 8:25 AM, a day after Valentine’s Day, 2013, only to be later deleted, that read “So I have an inside source at Glee who was all ‘watch tonight- we’re doing your song’. I hope this source was right. 😆”. During the entire runtime of that episode, the Glee cast did not, in fact, sing a Taylor Swift song. But Dianna Agron, now an openly queer woman, playing Quinn Fabray, did have sex with another woman. Who was this inside source? Was it Agron? Was it show runner Ryan Murphy? Was it Naya Rivera herself? We might never know. I’m not concerned by the measly aspects that led to said tweet being posted, nor do I have much evidence or imagination to know why Agron and Swift stopped being friends; and, since knowing who this source was remains impossible, I, as a human being, shall forever remain incomplete but alas, tickled by this happenstance. One can only dream of sharing Swift’s thoughts while watching the episode, did she complete it in the hopes that they would sing a song of hers? Did she stop once Santana Lopez and Quinn Fabray had sex, knowing her source was in the wrong? Was the reference malicious or simply misinformed? I am of the belief humanity is, at its core, benevolent, if sometimes bastardly, I have to rely on this being an act of a harmless trickster, a beguiler, in order to rest peacefully when my body is finally carried into the night.

#hetlors relax i called them friends #gaylor #dianna agron #taylor swift #glee #quinn fabray #santana lopez #swiftgron #kaylor

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phxntomsdusk · 3 months

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Past life - Klepto!Wilbur x GN!Reader

note: it’s pre-death klepto!wilbur !! this is gonna def make someone sad so i apologize in advance- i can’t let my bursonas live in peace, they always gotta be traumatized. Also relationship between Wilbur and the reader could be platonic or romantic, whichever you want :)

summary: you finally figure out what had turned the poor boy into a soul snatcher.

warnings: hella angst, mentions of death, swearing, self hurting thoughts/actions, comfort at some parts, parents fighting, divorce, alcoholic father, details of death, you probably will cry if you love this character

tags: @ax-y10 , @joviepog , @pheliiaa , @idontreallyexistyet , @rqvii , @haunted-headset , @ivvees-blog , @average-vibe , @lillylvjy , @toastyliltoasts41 (ask to be added!)

word count: 3K

You never expected to get close to the very man who was meant to take your soul, but here you were, comforting him as he cried to you about everything that led up to his very passing. He never told you any of this before, let alone trusted you knowing any of it.

You had found out so much. About his sister, his parents, his death, his first love. It was so heartbreaking.

Him and Wilma barely got along. The two were polar opposites, with her having many friends and constantly at other people’s houses, and him only talking to one person and spending most time in his room. He had tried his best to get on her side, but they just never saw eye to eye.

His best friend was Ryan, also his first love. He always thought something was wrong with him for loving a boy, but couldn’t help it. He was beautiful, perfect, everything you would want in a partner.

His parents got divorced when he was young, his mother taking custody of Wilma while he got stuck with his dad. Him and his father had a rocky relationship, while his mom completely stopped visiting after so many weeks.

During the summer Wilbur always found himself sitting atop the hill behind his house, sitting under the old oak tree and reading books his mother had gifted him. He always loved dark themed stories, ones that left readers confused and disturbed. His sister never understood his liking for these books, always finding herself reading romance and cliche teen girl stories. She would sometimes join him under the tree, but their calm and peaceful moments never lasted long.

He could hear the crunching of branches behind him, glancing around the trunk to see Wilma approaching in her sundress. She awkwardly sat down next to him, leaning her head back against the tree and sighed. “They’re fighting again.” She mumbled quietly, moving her head against his shoulder. He quickly nodded and began to read his book aloud to her, making sure she could also follow along, he tilted the pages in her direction.

It was moments like these that made him grateful for his sister, a smile always stuck on his face as she embraced him, even if it was just for a source of comfort.

“I loved her for her silence. Or maybe I just understood it.” He read the words out loud, before being interrupted by Wilma. “Do you ever feel that way?” She raised a brow, sitting up straight and brought her knees up to her chest. “Feel like what?” He placed his bookmark on the page, putting the book down in his lap. “Silent.. just wanting to be quiet. Maybe it’ll fix whatever the hell is wrong with them.” She gestured towards the house, where you could see two arguing and yelling figures in the kitchen window, to which she frowned.

“I get what you mean. Don’t worry, they’ll stop.” He placed a hand on her shoulder, watching as she hesitantly nodded and sighed. “Hopefully. I honestly can’t wait for the day they divorce and send us off to Aunt Tiff’s.” She chuckled lightly, earning a laugh from Wilbur. “Doesn’t sound too bad, actually. Then we can visit the sea each morning and stare out at the horizon.” He smiled at the idea, to which she scoffed and rolled her eyes. “You and your bloody daydreams.” She laughed and nudged his arm, before their mother shouted for her to come back inside. “I’m, uh, gonna go. Bye, Wil.” She quickly stood up, dusting off her skirt and rushed down the small hill.

If only they had more time, Wilbur thought. More time to actually treat one another like a person. More time for him to finally feel loved by someone in that dreadful house.

He sighed and opened his book again, picking up where he had stopped with a sorrowful expression, trying to ignore the tears that welled up in his eyes the second she had walked away.

That following spring, just as Wilma predicted their parents filed for a divorce. But instead of being sent away to their aunt’s home, Wilbur was dragged away by their father and taken to a small shitty apartment downtown. He hadn’t even gotten the chance to say goodbye to Wilma before he was on his way to a new home.

Of course he had her number, but he doubted she would even answer while with their mother. He simply stared out the window with a hurt expression, sniffling quietly but was told to shut up by his father.

Arriving at the apartment wasn’t any better. It had one bedroom, leaving him to sleep on the small futon placed in the living room that merged into the kitchen. His father didn’t seem to care and walked past him, heading into the bedroom with his bag and slammed the door shut.

“God damnit.” He groaned and grabbed the bag his dad packed for him off the ground, making his way to the futon and tossed it atop, before sitting down and frowned. He could feel each and every spring poking against his legs, causing him to quickly stand up and look for a blanket or pillow to lay down over it.

He knew his dad was a loser, but this was a new all time low. Leaving his only son with nothing but a small duffle bag with a few shirts and pants, no self care or anything. How would he manage to survive this?

“Wil! Get me a drink!” The shout from his dad made him internally cringe, clenching his jaw as he obeyed his words and walked into the kitchen and opened the fridge, of course only filled with beer and water. He figured which one his dad wanted, grabbing the coldest one he could find before walking towards the bedroom.

He didn’t bother to question how his dad already had this place, stocked the fridge with only two types of drinks, and didn’t even bother to get proper furniture. He simply entered the room with a blank expression, putting the can on the bedside table before walking out, sighing quietly to himself.

“When will this shit get better?” He ran a hand over his face, before checking the time on his watch and saw he should at least try to sleep. Of course the futon was extremely uncomfortable, leaving him to use his bag as a pillow and he just slept in the clothes he wore all day.

As before he had mentioned Ryan, the very boy he had fallen in love with, the boy he hoped to confess to on this dreadful day. It was the first time in months that Wilbur had been back at his original home, mostly visiting his mom and Wilma, but when talk of Ryan coming over came up he couldn’t resist.

He was waiting at the hill, reading his book, but had himself facing the residence so he could see when his love would arrive. When the sudden sight of blonde hair and a red shirt appeared, he knew it had to be him.

“Ryan!” Wilbur shouted happily, rushing to stand up, leaving his book to sit wide open in the dirt. He rushed down the hill, stumbling slightly off the sidewalk and into the road, looking up to meet Ryan’s gaze. “Wow, Wilbur, be careful.” He chuckled lightly, glancing back and forth before he was about to cross.

But that’s when everything had changed.

Within only a few seconds a car horn could be heard, causing Wilbur’s gaze to divert to his right, seeing a white light nearing him. It was as if in the blink of an eye he was there, and then he was gone.

“Holy fuck! Wilbur!” Ryan quickly rushed over to him, holding up his head and placed a hand on the back of his neck, inspecting the wide gash he had just gained. The rushing footsteps of Wilma and his mother could be heard, a terrified shriek escaping his sister’s mouth as she knelt down next to him.

He could barely comprehend anything happening, he just felt so lightheaded and groggy, barely able to keep his eyes open as the taste of metal filled his mouth. He stared up at Ryan, tears filling his eyes as he weakly lifted a hand, only to be turned down and handed off to his mom, while he heard the tapping of a phone and soon the dialing of a call.

He didn’t understand what was happening. Was he dying? Was this really how his life was going to end? On the side of the road at 15 years old, just days before he was meant to turn 16. Just days before he could spend the day with his family again. Why did this have to happen to him?

Of course, that’s the last moment Wilbur remembered being alive. The next thing he knew he woke up in the hospital, his family crying around him as he stared in confusion, only to glance back and see his own lifeless body in the bed. A large gash across his neck, nearing his face.

The emotions he felt were difficult to explain, he was glad he didn’t have to deal with his father anymore, but seeing the pain he caused everyone hurt. Seeing his sister slowly spiral into a moment of depression and pain, his mother sobbing her eyes out to the point she couldn’t stand, and his father.. nowhere to be seen.

It was all so overwhelming, with him quickly leaving the hospital and rushed down the street. Though he didn’t notice the locket that somehow appeared around his neck, not until a sudden shadow seemed to be following him, reaching out for it and trying to drag him back to where his body lay.

All he could do was try his best to ignore this feeling, instead tearing the locket off himself and throwing it behind him. His biggest mistake ever.

He furrowed his brows as he slowly stopped in his tracks, watching as his surroundings only became darker and more grim, colder and more dull. “What the hell..” he mumbled under his breath, turning around and trying to walk, only to bump into something.

He didn’t even know what he was getting himself into, not until he felt the sudden paint returning to his neck, his surroundings becoming visible again, except there were so many more people. So many people he knew had passed in that town. He recognized an old shopkeeper who had lost his life during a fire, the burn marks still on his face and hands. He quickly walked over to the man, hoping he would have an answer.

“Mr. Williams?” He spoke in a quiet tone, watching the man turn to face him with a warm smile. “Wilbur? Is that you? My, you’ve gotten big.” His tone was welcoming, until he had taken notice of how young Wilbur was. “Aren't you quite young still? You shouldn’t be here.” He frowned and walked closer, taking note of the large gash on the side of Wilbur’s neck. “My, my. Such a shame.” Without another word he was gone, leaving Wil more confused than before.

Of course it didn’t stop here, how could it? He had become the Grim Reaper’s assistant after all.

It all started when he was simply walking past the hospital again, taking notice of a young boy outside the building, a locket around his neck as he stood there, always like he was waiting for someone.

“Hey, kid.” Wilbur approached him, raising a brow as he slightly bent down to meet his height. “Who are you waiting for?” His voice got quiet, watching the boy shrug and fiddle with the necklace around his neck. “I don’t know. I’m just here.” He pursed his lips, looking away from Wil.

He felt bad for the kid, he was dead and didn’t even know it. He quickly looked around the area, before crouching down and gestured towards the locket. “Let me see the locket.” He reached a hand out, watching as the boy hesitantly took it off and placed it in Wilbur’s hands. Engraved in the small emerald gem was an ‘H’. “What’s your name?” Wilbur looked back up at the kid, before standing up straight. “Henry.”

Before Wilbur could even speak again he was gone, causing him to state in confusion and disbelief. Where had the kid gone? He couldn’t easily disappear like that, could he? It was like Mr. Williams all over again.

He didn’t know what to do with the locket, and simply pocketed it, saying to himself mentally that he’d find a proper grave for it at some point.

But of course he didn’t. And he kept helping those lost souls finally rest in peace. It started with random people he found who looked lost, simply suggesting they give him their locket, to which they did. But once they got stubborn he took it upon himself to find their bodies and lead them to it, showing that they needed to hand over the locket so they could properly cross over.

He didn’t know he was truly helping someone this entire time, he simply thought he was doing the right thing. But with each locket he collected, he felt more power hungry for more. He wanted to fill his coat pockets, his drawers in the small house he claimed, the walls that had so many puncture holes from pins being pushed in and out.

Throughout this whole period of time, these months upon months, turned years of waiting for a change. He got one.

You watched as he got choked up on his words, causing you to hold his face in your hands and hold him close. “Wilbur, take your time. What changed?” You spoke softly, furrowing your brows at him.

“It.. it was Wilma. I found her.”

Just like he said. He found her. Wandering around the streets with a confused look on her face, her body hidden away in a baggy hoodie and sweatpants, her tear soaked cheeks shining in the dim moonlight.

“Wilma?” His voice called out, rushing over to her with a confused look. His eyes locked in on the locket she wore, trying to ignore the intense urge to snatch it from her. “How are you here?” He placed his hands on her shoulders, watching her look up and get choked up on speaking.

“I wanted to see my brother again, Wil. It’s been years.” She quickly pulled him into a hug, crying heavily into his shoulder, her arms wrapping tightly around his torso. He instantly hugged her back, a hand on the back of her head as he held her close. “How old are you, Wilm?” He spoke quietly, listening as she struggled to answer. “20. It’s been 5 years since you passed.”

He knew she couldn’t have passed from natural causes, suspecting one thing that he didn’t want to assume. “Did it hurt?” He spoke quietly, feeling her shake her head against him, a sigh of relief escaping her lips. “Thankfully no. I just.. it’s hard without you, y’know.” She pulled away from their hug, frowning slightly as she placed her hands on his face, smiling at the sight of him.

“Still young as ever. I’m jealous.” She chuckled softly, watching as he smiled at her words, nodding and nervously looked down. “Listen.. Wilma.” He sighed and gestured towards the locket she wore, biting the corner of his lip. “If you wanna fully pass over, you’re gonna need to hand over the locket.”

Her face somewhat dropped, clutching the green gem in her hands as she shook her head frantically. “What? No! I just got to see you again after 5 years, how could I leave so quickly?”

“Wilma, you have to. It’s not smart to stick around for so long without crossing over.” His tone became much more demanding, staring her down as he tried to get her to just agree with his words. “Do you do this to everyone you see? What the fuck has gotten into you?” She took a step back, glancing down at his coat pockets, seeing a shine through them. She was quick with her actions, reaching forward and snatching a few, before running off in the other direction. “Wilma! What the fuck?!” He quickly rushed after her, trying his best to catch her before she did the worst thing she could think of.

She had found her way to a graveyard, letting out a shaky breath as she thought quickly. She picked one of the lockets and dug a small hole in a grave, shoving the locket inside before packing the dirt down, watching as the green gem glowed through the brown muck. “Holy shit..” She muttered under her breath, before crawling towards another grave, doing the same thing as before, hearing as Wilbur’s footsteps got closer.

“Wilma, what are you doing?” He panicked as he saw the glows through the dirt, staring at her with a look of betrayal and hurt. “How.. how could you!” He rushed over to try and unbury one of them, but before he could, it was gone. “Wilma, what did you do?” He stared at her with confusion, watching as the glow of the other’s died down.

This was the moment he knew the two of them would probably never see eye to eye again. He had spent years collecting lost souls, and now all of sudden Wilma is back and somehow managed to return souls to earth. He didn’t understand, simply staring down at the empty dirt mound, feeling his stomach drop.

“So, that’s why you and her don’t talk anymore?” You quirked a brow up, watching him note and fiddle with the small locket he had in his pocket. “Yeah. Ever since then I haven't seen her again.” He sighed and looked over at you, leaning his head on your shoulder.

“It’s harder for lost souls to cross over now. She’s constantly searching for them.. burying the lockets in the graveyard. Before I can ever get them they’re back to earth.” He spoke quietly, an annoyed look forming on his face. “It doesn’t always work out sometimes..”

You looked down at him with a confused look, lightly wrapping an arm around him. “What do you mean?” You spoke quietly, leaning your head on his.

“Staying silent.”

#phxntomsdusk #phxntoms fics #klepto!wilbur #klepto!wilma #wilbur soot angst #wilbur soot fluff #wilbur soot #wilbur soot x you #wilbur soot x y/n #wilbur soot x reader

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yan-snowcave · 3 days

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Makura -> Desmond;

They mostly have nothing against him and are even getting a better impression of him the longer they hang out (+ the rest of the squad.) They affectionately call him "Short" & "Short King" like the rest of the gang or when they really wanna tease him they call him "Bambi." Though when someone who isnt in the close to him or someone who isn't from the squad dares to call him short Makura will be ready to throw some hands. If its a frequent occurrence, where the same person does it over and over again they will threaten to eat the person.

During the "Manipulation/Demon Prince" routes they will be a bit more aggressive and annoyed with Desmond for trying to cut Milo off of them. On these routes Desmond also earns the nickname "Vorspeise" [Translation; Appetiser.] Which Makura only uses when they are pissed at him or wanna threaten him.

Desmond -> Makura;

Doesn't really have anything against them and is slowly growing fond of them, he's also one of the few who get away with calling Makura "Cringy" "Furry" and such. Strangers who call Makura that though get threatened or lose a few teeth. Desmond also uses these terms often when defending Makura from people who call them a demon.

["We all know that they have a dangerously manipulative side to them but calling them a demon? Isn't that going a bit too far, I mean...Huh? What?! No, I'm not defending them! They're just a weird Furry with anger issues! Oh shut it, V!"]

Makura -> Seph;

Likes Seph a lot for being one of the few humans who belives in Demons, Cryptids and co (& for showing Makura proper respect as a prince.) They also enjoy having someone who they can talk with about some of the books that contain information about demons, beasts, cryptids and such.

Though they are a little bit terrified of him for having some very old books which do contain pretty accurate descriptions on how to kill low ranking demons and even point out a few weak spots for higher ranking demons & beasts (they did try to burn some of them but they are all fire proof...)

Makura also sees him as a future in-law after they mentioned him to their 'siblings' and saw some of them show clear interest in Seph.

Seph -> Makura;

Had a crush on Makura in the early stages of meeting them but it soon fizzled out, he still has some left over feelings but stomps it down as best as he can. Especially after Makura started dating Milo, he never would step on another Monster Lover's toe. So he decided to help Milo out instead by basically being his go to Demonic Information Source and Wingman.

Seph was also one of the first friends Makura invited back to their home land and even got a tour of their home and the nearby town. He was also very excited about the amount of demons & beasts who wanted to eat him but Makura stopped all of them, much to his dismay.

Makura <--> Valli;

Since they laid eyes upon each other they both knew that the other would be their platonic partner in crime for any dumb shit they wanna pull. They had so many close run-ins with the police, it really made their bound stronger. If they someone had to get rid of a body the other would help cover it up. They also have sleep over nights sometimes where they talk about rumours and have improvised therapy sessions.

[Makura would still use her to start the Manipulation route, they would feel a bit bad about it for a day or two before forgetting all about it.]

Makura -> Ryan;

Mostly had no real opinion on Ryan, they bounded back then a bit after they both drunkenly confessed that they had dated Eris and how much it sucked. They also had a short period of time where they were in a "Friends with Benefits" kinda relationship until Makura laid their eyes on Milo and his Soul and decided that he's the one.

After seeing Ryan bully Milo, thinking that he was causing their chosen Soul to corrupt (and reminding them of how their 'Twin' often got bullied by other demons.) They stepped in and felt a deep disgust and growing hatred for him.

[In the Violence routes they might feel a bit more positive in the long run for basically giving Milo a motivational jumpstarter in the form of sending Poison after them. And the whole hurting Milo thing.]

Ryan -> Makura;

He didn't believe Makura at first when he heard them confess that they ate Eris in a fit of rage but in the back of his mind the alarm bells were starting to ring. This only got worse until a few weeks had passed without him seeing Eris anywhere, not even in the class they shared.

This all led up to the moment where Ryan dragged Makura into an empty hallway, where he confronted them about what truly happened to Eris. Makura, being fed up with him, revealed their true form ready to devour him like they did with Eris.

But Ryan in his desperation to stay alive offered up his soul in exchange of not being eaten. They of course accepted the offer and since that day Ryan was invisibly chained to them. He has many regrets and his hatred & fear for Makura grows every time he remembers them using his urge to Survive against him.

Makura <--> Eris

Since the moment they met, they both knew they disliked each other but still dated mostly out of Selfish reasons. Eris to try and create her "Perfect Love" while Makura was after her Soul hoping that a Soul as corrupted as hers would be a perfect power boost that they would need in the long run.

Their relationship grew worse & worse over time until it all accumulated to the moment where Makura decided to break things up. Seeing Eris as more of a nuisance & danger really then anything else, she was of course not pleased with her "Perfect Love" trying to escape from her and stepped up her game, causing her to tip the first stone to her early demise.

Eris decided to go after the one person Makura loved more then anything, their 'twin' Remor. Who just returned home from a recent heart surgery. Everyone knew that he shouldn't be stressed unnecessarily, including Eris who used this to her advantage. Trying to get Makura back onto her leash all the while implying that she would harm their cousin if they didn't obey.

This of course enraged Makura but they held back, not wanting to risk and call it a bluff when they knew that Eris wouldn't have a problem with acting out her plan. That was of course until one day she stepped too far and causing Remor some problems which almost sent him back to their Orhan Harvester Boyfriend and his Back Alley Surgeon.

After that incident, Makura cornered Eris in a room and showed her their true form. Cackling rang around the room as Eris felt fear overtake her, the last thing she felt was a sudden sharp pain ripping into her flesh before everything turned to black.

#perfect love #perfect love vn #pl desmond #pl seph #pl eris #pl ryan #pl valli #Ryan in this version has Yainaphobia

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bleach-boyz · 8 months

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Chapter 4: Jackasses

prev. // next

Almost the entirety of the year 2000 was spent filming stunt after stunt for Jackass. MTV had decided to produce and air three seasons pretty much back-to-back, starting in October of that year. That meant that you all needed to make an enormous amount of content extremely quickly. Beyond just being contractually obligated to, you filmed so much because you wanted to ensure that you’d all make it into the show as often as possible. You knew the producers were getting footage from a few different sources, which meant there was a lot that ultimately couldn’t be used. You wanted to make sure that what you were filming was good enough to make it into the show.

You were behind the camera a lot of the time when filming, but you would sometimes participate in the stunts where the main point was just to watch someone get hurt. You were often filmed attempting and failing to do something on a skateboard or simply slamming yourself into something hard. You almost never got genuinely hurt, and it became a bit of a joke how indestructible you were.

Pain was never an issue for you, and you’d much rather take a bump than be involved in any pranks or gross-out stunts. At some point the boys caught on to how much you didn't like vomit so whenever they would puke during a stunt, which was happening more and more frequently, they’d intentionally get close to you to make you upset. This torture did inevitably work over time to desensitize you to it, though.

The release and subsequent popularity of the Jackass show were the final push needed to skyrocket Bam to a new level of fame. 2001 brought both his Element Skateboards partnership and his introduction into the Tony Hawk Pro Skater games, which, in combination with Jackass and the CKY films, had him raking in an absurd amount of money. Bam’s life had become a ball of chaos, and you and the crew were just along for the ride. He’d constantly fly you all out with him to different appearances he had to make for his skate merch or Jackass, and you got to see places you’d never seen before.

By the end of its first season, Jackass was officially a cultural phenomenon. Besides Bam, Ryan and Dico over time became the most popular and recognized member of the CKY crew due to being the stars of some of the most memorable stunts and skits that made it into the show. This meant them and Bam were asked to come to L.A. to shoot more often with the rest of the reoccurring cast as the seasons progressed. The rest of you were definitely less famous but still acknowledged constantly as "the CKY crew" or "Bam’s crew" by the public, especially in West Chester. West Chester wasn’t a very big town, so everyone and their mother knew about the kids that "made it big" with a Hollywood TV show.

You basically never had to pay for your own drinks at the local bars anymore, and you’d also noticed that the dudes were starting to get a lot more attention from women than they ever had before. You resented that part a little bit. You knew those dumbasses didn’t deserve having so many beautiful women around them, mostly because of their inability to be humble about it. You didn’t say anything though, since you were also getting extra attention from men and occasionally women, and you didn’t want to appear hypocritical.

After your breakup, you started sleeping around a little bit with those random people who’d approach you. You’d never been particularly interested in one-night stands before, but you thought you’d try them out in an attempt to get over Chad. You couldn’t really tell if it helped, but it was still fun in the meantime. You weren’t shy about your behavior, but early on you decided to keep any hookups with women on the low. You knew that, unfortunately, your friends would only have straight guy fetishizing nonsense to say about it if they found out, so you mainly confided in Jenn with the details.

Sometime in early 2001, while the show’s second season was airing, a senator started a campaign against Jackass, claiming MTV was responsible for helping parents protect their kids or some bullshit. It was their persistent and ruthless attack, in combination with a few copycat incidents, that led to MTV caving and canceling the show after its first three seasons.

Of course, the entire cast and crew were extremely frustrated by this, and you became a bit worried over what this would mean for all of you career-wise. Bam would obviously be okay, but for the show to be cancelled barely a year after it started, that could be bad for the rest of you.

Luckily, you got word soon after the cancellation that perhaps the most important project any of you would ever work on was greenlit and would begin its filming as soon as possible—Jackass: The Movie.

The Jackass movie was especially important to you because Jeff and Spike, after some begging from your end, were allowing you to be one of the assistant directors. Your duties mainly included creating the schedule, being the go-between person for the cast and different crews, and just basically helping Jeff with anything he needed. This meant that you were there every shooting day and got to spend a lot more time around the Jackass cast members that you’d barely interacted with before.

Every member of the Jackass cast was a big character in their own right, and that created a high-energy and often unhinged environment. They were all really nice, but everyone was also constantly trying to fuck with each other, and even though you were rarely a target, you still had to keep your guard up. Especially when you were around Steve-O and Pontius.

You'd become close with those two over the course of shooting. At first, you just found them entertaining and good company when getting fucked up, but as you spent more time with them, you really started to care for them. You cared for all the cast and crew, of course, but you'd had a hard time moving past a friendly coworker relationship with most of them. Steve-O and Pontius had instantly pierced through that, and they felt like your brothers in the way that the CKY crew did. That didn't mean they weren't dicks, though. Your close friendship ultimately just meant they felt comfortable messing with you.

Bam and Ryan were the only members of the CKY crew that were official members of the Jackass cast, but Raab and Dico both managed to get one stunt in the movie. Although their involvement in the film was less than that of the show, the two and Rake didn’t seem to have much of a problem with it. With the extra time they were all able to dedicate themselves more to the continuing CKY film series.

You were in the peanut gallery for a few of the stunts in the Jackass movie, but you weren’t tasked with any stunts yourself due to being busy with assistant director responsibilities. The only thing that you filmed was an alternate take of the "Off Road Tattoo" stunt. Steve-O had been running late that day for some reason, and when it looked like he might not show up, Jeff asked if you’d consider doing it instead. It had originally been your idea, after all. After maybe five minutes of contemplation, you agreed. You’d been getting a lot of tattoos lately anyway, and you weren’t the type to regret something stupid and fun like that.

The tattoo artist gave you pretty much the exact same fucked-up smiley face that Steve-O got when he finally arrived to set; only yours didn’t make it in the movie. You were only slightly irritated by that, but you knew that there would be no reason to show the same stunt twice. Also, Steve-O was absolutely a more entertaining presence on screen than you. Jeff promised your cut would end up in the extras included in the eventual DVD release of the movie.

By far the most rewarding and fun time you had filming was in Japan. You’d never been out of the country before, and to go somewhere so beautiful and different was very exciting. When you weren’t filming, you spent a lot of time alone wandering around different parts of Tokyo, trying to experience the culture and everything it had to offer.

Just because you were in a different country, though, didn’t mean that the partying would stop. You were still getting dragged out to bars every night with the rest of the cast and crew, immersing yourself in the Tokyo nightlife. However, it was one of the more uneventful nights that you remember the most.

A bunch of the guys had insisted you all go to this burlesque strip club up the street from your hotel after you finished dinner. You weren’t particularly interested, but you felt like getting drunk, and it wasn’t like watching attractive women dance would be hard for you.

When you arrive, you go straight to the bar with Pontius and Dave while the other members of the cast and crew try to find a place to sit. You three collectively buy a round of beers for everyone and head back over to pass them out to the group. They all had to spread out a bit due to there not being a spot big enough for everyone to sit together, and you set your beer down at a table with Ryan, Bam, Steve-O, and Chris. Before sitting down yourself, though, you decide to go back to the bar and take a couple shots. You could handle your alcohol pretty well, and the atmosphere of the club was making you kind of anxious, so you thought you’d push yourself a little faster toward your desired level of drunkenness.

"What are you havin?" Knoxville asks as he comes up behind you.

"Not entirely sure; I just kinda yelled "two whiskeys" so.."

The bartender comes back with two mystery whiskey shots for you, and Johnny asks for two more for himself. When he receives them, he thanks the bartender with some weak Japanese vocabulary and pays for all four shots.

"Loaded with MTV money? Or is this just your Southern hospitality?" You ask, and he chuckles.

"I can’t help being a gentleman." He says, and you both cheers, throw back the shots, and head back to your respective tables.

Pontius secretly paid a dancer to go give Dave a lap dance, which made you all die of laughter as you could tell he was both delighted and stressed out by the situation. Besides that, no one was really jumping at the opportunity to interact with any of the dancers, and you found it quite funny how awkward everyone seemed about it. It made you wonder why anyone wanted to come there in the first place.

Bam later pulls out his wallet and asks if he can buy you a dance, to which you decline.

"Why? You’ve slept with women, right? I thought you’d enjoy it." He says with a smug look on his face, and your eyebrows furrow. You know you’ve never told Bam about any of that, so you assume that Jenn must have let it slip at some point. It’s obvious Bam is just bringing it up now publicly to be a little shit.

"Wait, you have?" Ryan asks, surprised.

"No way, dude." Steve-O says.

"Hubba hubba." Pontius jokes.

"God dammit, Bam.. I mean, yes, but it’s not anyone’s business." You respond, and all the guys start clamoring over the realization.

"How many times?" Ryan prods, and you start to get out of your chair.

"Wait, so you’re a lesbian? I think I owe someone five dollars." Steve-O says.

"I’m going to the bathroom." You say and leave before any of them can think of another dumb thing to ask or say.

Once you come back, it seems like everyone is ready to head out, despite only being there for an hour. Most of you just go back to the bar in the hotel and continue drinking, chatting, and messing around with each other there.

"No, seriously, which is better, sex with men or women?" Steve-O asks after a couple hours, trying to bring the conversation back to where it was earlier.

"There’s no way it’s better with men. We’re slobs, brutes, slaves to our desires." Pontius says, and you laugh, feeling a little more open to talking about it now that you’re drunker.

"It really depends," you say.

"Shit, you’ve probably made more women cum than any of us." Steve-O jokes.

"Certainly more than you, Steve." Knoxville says as he walks up next to him, one hand behind his back.

"I’m going to bed, children." He continues and goes to shake Steve-O’s hand, but as he does, he pulls his other hand out from behind his back and attaches a mouse trap to Steve-O’s fingers. Steve-O screams, and the rest of you let out some loud, drunken laughter.

"Fuck!" Steve-O exclaims as he slowly pulls the trap off his fingers. Knoxville, dying of laughter, pats him on the shoulder.

"Okay, okay, now I’m actually going to bed. Goodnight ladies." Johnny says as he heads off to his room.

"What an asshole." Steve-O says as he calms down.

"Man, what time is it anyway?" Pontius asks, and Bam checks his watch.

"11:52," he says.

"Damn, it’s not even late; we’re so boring tonight." Pontius responds.

"I’m gonna go to the convenience store down the street and get some snacks.." you say as you stand up and see that the hotel bar is starting to close down, "and beer."

"I’ll go with ya." Ryan says as he gets up too.

"Why don’t you just meet us up in Steve-O’s room once you’re back?" Bam says, and you nod and head out with Ryan.

As soon as you two head out, you hand him a cigarette and pull out your own. This was routine anytime you two were outside together.

You go to light yours, and then light Ryan’s. "Thanks." He says, and you look him in the eyes for what feels like the first time tonight.

Ever since that revealing conversation you had with Ryan around a year and a half ago, you were slowly becoming more endeared by everything he did. His little jokes, his laugh, the way he’d subtly take care of you—you really just liked being around him. You'd also started confiding in each other more often. You loved everyone in the CKY crew, but Dico was the only one you'd ever really been able to trust with any personal information. You knew everyone cared for you in their own way, they just had a hard time taking anything seriously; everything became a joke. That's why it meant all the more to you that your friendship with Ryan was becoming more emotionally intimate.

You’d been avoiding admitting to yourself that you’d developed any sort of feelings for him, mostly because he was still on and off with the same girlfriend. Over time, it had become obvious that the two had lots of problems, and Ryan would catch a lot of shit for it. You genuinely did think it was a relationship that Ryan needed to get out of, but you didn’t want to say anything knowing that you had a bit of an ulterior motive. He was pretty whipped for her anyway, so even if they did break up, you knew he’d be upset for a while. In the meantime, you are just going to have to keep pushing down any feelings you have towards him. It sucks, but you hope one day you'll be able to push hard enough for the feelings to go away for good.

"How’re you feeling?" You ask as you both start walking towards the convenience store. You try to keep your eyes on the sidewalk to make sure you don’t stumble or trip over anything.

"Drunk." He says point blankly.

"Right. Same." You say and feel a little awkward for asking that question. Luckily, Ryan chuckles a little bit, and it defuses the tension.

"How are things going with your girlfriend?" You ask suggestively. Normally, you wouldn’t dive into this subject so soon in conversation, usually afraid the real reason behind such a question would reveal itself. However, you have far less tact and control over the things you say when drinking. It’s only sometimes a problem.

"Oh, she broke up with me right before we flew here." He says, and you raise your eyebrows. Historically, the two breaking up just meant there would be a couple weeks of turmoil and anger on Ryan’s end before they’d inevitably get back together. Though, Ryan had been acting surprisingly chill this whole trip so far. At least in the times you’d seen him.

"Do you think it’s actually over this time?" You ask, and Ryan sighs.

"Yeah… I think so. I don’t know... I usually just chase her and wear her down until she agrees to get back with me, but I'm not sure I can do that anymore. It's exhausting." He says, slurring a little bit, but you can tell from the tone of his voice that he might really believe what he’s saying.

"Bam says I gotta get with someone else so I can finally get over her." He continues, and you hold your breath for a second.

"That might be a good idea." You say as casually as you can.

"Is that what you did when you broke up with Chad?" He asks you, and you side-eye him.

"Yeah… kinda. Well, I haven’t really dated anyone since then, but hooking up with people sorta helped. I think the main factor in getting over it is time." You say as you two approach the front of the store. You throw your cigarette on the ground and stomp it out. Ryan does the same.

"So hooking up with girls helped you?" Ryan jokes as he pulls open the door and holds it for you. You roll your eyes and walk inside.

"This is exactly the reason why I never told anyone; I knew you’d all have some bullshit to say." You complain and then trip over nothing as you turn into an aisle. Thankfully, you catch yourself, and Ryan laughs a little too loud for how quiet the store is.

"I’m sorry, I’m a guy. How is the thought of two hot chicks hooking up not supposed to excite me?" He joins you in front of the beer. You reach inside the fridge and pull out a 12-pack of the cheapest.

"Oh, so you think I’m hot then?" You ask mischievously. He stares at you and smiles.

"Duh… I mean, well, a lot of the dudes do." He says, and you furrow your brows.

"They do?" You ask and head towards the instant noodles.

"Yeah, like Steve-O, Pontius... I’m also pretty sure I even heard Jeff say something once." He says. You feel satisfied and giddy over Ryan admitting he found you hot, but you wish he hadn’t tried to deflect from it by bringing up the others.

"Steve-O and Pontius will fuck anything with a pulse." You state as you grab a couple of the spicy chicken noodles.

"I mean, you’re right, but still..." He says, and you decide to drop it for now as you head towards the cashier. You'll have plenty of time to overthink his statement later.

"Are you not getting anything?" You ask, and Ryan’s mouth falls open.

"Right." He goes off to another aisle, and you pay for the noodles and beer. You can hear the sound of things falling off their shelves, and you give the cashier an apologetic look.

Ryan comes back with a few bags of chips and candy.

"You like the ones with the potato guy on them, right?" He asks and holds up a bag of Calbee chips. You smile and nod. Once he pays for everything, you’re on your way.

You get back to the hotel and head up to Steve-O’s room like instructed.

When Steve-O opens the door, you and Ryan wade through empty beer cans and a few whippet chargers to get into the room and see Pontius and Bam hanging out on the bed.

"I hope you’re tipping your housekeepers well, Steve-O." Ryan says as you both put down your bags. Steve-O laughs as he goes through your bags and grabs a beer and a bag of chips.

"I can't believe you two aren’t loitering around the local bars preying on desperate women." You say to Steve-O and Pontius as you grab one of the cups of noodles and fill it with water. You meant the comment not as a judgment but as a genuine expression of surprise. Lately, Steve-O and Pontius were getting with different women almost every night, but you hadn’t seen that behavior as much in the last week.

"Our charms aren’t exactly appreciated by the ladies of Tokyo." Pontius says.

"They aren’t appreciated by any ladies anywhere." Bam jokes, and you laugh as you put your noodles in the microwave.

"Why don’t you two just give it up and touch each other?" You ask, and Steve-O and Pontius stare at each other for a second and smile like they know something you don’t.

"Nahhh. He’s not my type." Steve-O giggles.

You spend the next hour and a half drinking and fucking around a bit more, but you personally are at the point where more beer was just going to make you more tired. The most eventful thing that happens is when Steve-O manages to get into Knoxville’s room and pee in his suitcase as revenge for the mouse trap earlier. Other than that, you'd say it's been a relatively chill night, which you sometimes prefer to the usual partying because it allows you to get to know and bond with the cast and crew better.

After you say your goodbyes, Ryan walks with you back to your room, citing needing his hat back that you borrowed earlier that week as the reason. This reasoning is suspicious, but you disregard it as drunk Ryan logic.

He follows you inside your suite, hands in his pockets, as you grab the black baseball cap.

When you hand it to him, your fingers touch and you look into his eyes. It is at this moment, drunk and exhausted, that you know you can't push it down any more.

There had been nothing particularly special about that night so far; you’d spent the majority of it with other people, not even sitting next to each other. Maybe it was how rosy his cheeks were in the night air or the way your shoulders brushed past each other when you were walking outside earlier. Maybe it was how he held the door open for you at the store and remembered what kind of chips you like. Maybe it's the way the sleeves of his new jacket are too long on him or the way he's biting his lip right now. You don't know, but standing here together now, you give up.

You like Ryan, maybe a lot. This past year and a half, you’d been able to mostly suppress any feelings you had, leading to months where you didn’t even think about it, only for him to smile or say something that would bring those feelings back stronger. You’d been so forceful, doing your best to control the uncontrollable, but you understand now that you can't will it away. You need to deal with it.

The room is quiet—too quiet. You stare at each other for what feels like an eternity, but in reality, it is probably only a few seconds. You swear you see his eyes dart to your lips.

It would be so easy to kiss him now and push him onto the bed—make him understand the way he makes you feel. It would be so easy, but you care too much about him to do that. He’d just been broken up with, and even though it had been building for a while, you know that it has to be affecting him deeply. If he had made a move on you that day after you and Chad broke up, you might have reciprocated, but you also would have ended up resenting him for it. It’s not fair to dangle that promise of intimacy and comfort in front of somebody who just lost it. It would taking advantage of them.

So you wait for him to say or do something, anything. After a moment, he says "thank you", pulls his hand away, and yawns, looking at his watch.

"What time do we have to shoot tomorrow?" He asks you, and you snap out of your daze. He puts on his hat and gives you a small smile.

"11," you say as you look at the clock on the bedside table. It’s almost 2:30.

"Not bad… alright goodnight!" He says cheerfully and leaves.

Just like that, he’s gone. He left, like tonight was any other night. You well up with emotion, the feeling of dread reigning above all. Dread that finally accepting your sentiments about Ryan will only lead to your torture. That he may never be able to reciprocate, that you’ll spend too much time obsessing over something that will never be. You know you're being dramatic, but you can't stop the thoughts from racing through your head.

You sit down on your bed and rub your eyes, drained.

What the hell were you going to do now?

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Idk if I like this chapter lol. Sometimes this story just feels like a Wikipedia article. I realize I set myself up for it to be like that since I started so early in the timeline- I just hope y’all appreciate a slow burn. I promise I’m gonna be picking up the pace though.

ALSO lmk if you wanna get tagged when I post new chapters 🤔 next one is gonna be about Haggard

#bam margera #ryan dunn #brandon dicamillo #chris raab #cky #cky crew #jackass #jess margera #cky imagine #viva la bam #my fic #rake yohn

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