#starrjournals

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hewwooo i hope everyone’s doing good today!! it’s pretty warm out where i am so if it is where u are pls stay cool! 😎 hehe. just doing like a little idk talky. update is the word!! what am i doing ,,, currently watching komi can’t communicate it’s rlly good!! i like it it’s cute!! i struggle to watch animes that aren’t actiony so i was a little bored but then i reminded myself that it’s a cute anime and it’s okay to watch cute stuff. hmm what else,, i played with my cat a bit. i put two toys together to make it more interesting and he liked it. well it was a string and the remnants of another toy he destroyed.. i’m a little stressed bc he’s running out of hard food and i have no money so there’s that. and it’s a specific type of hard food for urinary problems so it’s not like i can buy any.. so yeah.. i think the hard food will last for a couple more days… after that i’m not sure.. i don’t want to beg but if someone were to send me money for his food i would really appreciate it! my cashapp is $oegsx . if u do thank u sm! my pic on there is my cat so it’s easy to tell. this was an update but it turned into me asking for money haha… i genuinely struggle asking for things so yeah.. umm let’s see what else.. that’s it.. if you’re reading this thank u!! i don’t know if anyone sees what i post even if i tag it. have a good day!!!

#starrjournals #starrupdates #journaling #my cat #please send me money for my cats hard food #money #i need money #for my cat #in general #but this is mainly for my cat #send me money #cashapp #pls #idek what to tag this #i’m just looking under the money tags #yeah #thank u!

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#starrjournals #people who menstruate #pls answer #smoking #idk #marijane #tumblr polls #polls #idk what else to put but pls tell me #also didn’t know what to put for answers feels a bit awkward haha

[starrjournals]

y’all i just broke my cats exercise wheel and now we’re both sitting in silence…. i’m literally 🙂 but also (🥹) it was an accident but it was smth i shouldn’t have been doing (putting my weight on it) and yea now i’m just like well damn. he didn’t use it yet bc we’re still training but still… 🤕

#starrjournals #stressed #broke my cats wheel #idek what to say #do i even go about replacing it #DO TJEY EVEN SELL REPLACEMENT ITEMS #👁️👁️ #cat #cat wheel

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the only activity i get on this blog r the empty “sugar daddy” blogs

#can actual people interact pls… #starrjournals #asked for money to get my cats hard food so idk what i expected #but still #cat #cat food #pls send me money for cat food #my cashapp is $oegsx #pls

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i have a reminder on my phone to drink water but i genuinely think i need one also to remind me to eat. it’s so hard to remember that i have to eat food that way i don’t randomly get dizzy. so yeah this is a reminder to eat!!! and that it’s okay to feed yourself!!! your body needs nourishment and u deserve it!!!

#starrjournals #journaling #reminder to eat #reminder to drink water #reminder to myself #u deserve food #u deserve water #food tw #not sure if it needs a tw but just in case ☺️

[starrjournals]

y’all i decided to make onion powder bc i’m running out and i haven’t seen the big bottle in the grocery store and i followed a video. the video said i could make in the oven at a low temp for a couple of hours but i did not consider the smell …. 👃i’m literally abt to pass away from the nausea… like my whole house smells like onions… i’m on my bed smelling gum bc it’s minty and mint helps with nausea and bro… it s literally only been an hour and it’s this bad… genuinely going to pass away like i can’t do this .. MIND YOU THE ONIONS LOOK YHE SAME AS WHRN I PUT THEM IN… truly wish i had a dehydrator bc this smell is too much… how am i supposed to do 5 more hours of this… i even have the fan on and 3 candles on but still… the smell of onions is killing me..

#starrjournals #rambles #ranting #i’m going to pass away #nausea #making onion powder #dehydrating #mistakes have been made #cooking #is this considered cooking #idk #someone help me

[starrjournals]

hii i don’t know if people see this but if you do pls donate to one of my friends who is struggling to get funds to go to college. i’d really appreciate it!! this is their gofundme link :

thank u if u do!!! <3

#starrjournals #go fund me #college #pls donate #mutual aid #crowdfunding #tikki tokki #queer #trans #student #pls help they deserve it !!!

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looking around my house and realizing it’s actually so dirty is embarrassing…. and i just had company over… like this is what they seen? but i know this isn’t my voice shaming me i’m just a bit surprised tbh. it was getting into shamey territory but i stopped myself before i did *pat on the back!!!* i struggle to keep my home clean because i am actually disabled is okay. i am learning more abt myself all the time. i am struggling to take care of myself and my environment but i am learning to do so at my pace. it’s a working progress but i am getting there. and that’s what counts most! working with urself to do what’s best for u at ur pace!!!! i’m so happy i’m able to do this i want to cry. happy tears! but that is also okay. hehe. i love me so much. and i can’t wait to learn more stuff about myself. thank u. truly 💗

#starrjournals #journaling #work in progress #woooo #thank u universe #💕

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AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

yea

#starrjournals #journaling

[starrjournals]

i feel like i’m trying to rush through this sadness i’m feeling. like i’m trying to avoid it completely. i’m just trying to do things i enjoy and not let it swallow me whole. but maybe i do need to let it swallow me whole. maybe i do need to let it completely devour me. i’m not sure. i’m not sure with what i feel or what i should do. i want to cry but it’s struggling to come out. i feel like i’m always so hard on myself. it’s been two days. you’re allowed to hurt and grieve and feel sad and mad and everything in between. i’ve never had the chance to do so before so it feels uncomfy. but it’s going to be okay so long as i treat myself with love and kindness. i am strong and full of love. i am also very scared. this is how it goes. i have to tune into my body and take care of myself because usually when i feel like this i neglect my mind and body. but i am getting better at this and i will get through this! i believe in myself and i believe in my truths. i know how i felt/feel and i know how it’s affected me. no one can tell me differently in how i feel. i will no longer let my feelings be dismissed or swept under the rug. i deserve forward communication and honesty. i will defend myself and be the person younger me deserved to have in their corner. thank you. i love you so much. you got this.

#starrjournals #journaling #self love #learning how to love myself #learning how to be kind to myself #healing #kindness #hugs #big hugs #positivity #tw: family problems #tw

[starrjournals]

hi hi hiiiiiii!!!! i’ve gotten into a baking groove and have been making chocolate chip cookies constantly and they’re soo good!!! like i know every recipe says that it’s the best cookie recipe but i think this one is it!!! they’re so nice and chewy nd mm. and i add a little sea salt on top while they’re warm, so good!!! but um yea that’s what’s been going on with me lately. let’s see what else, what else? oh okay i’m so grateful! i had owed rent to where i live 2,500 and i owe the electricity company like 400 as well and i had to pay it back but i signed up for a program and they’re paying for all of it. i’m so glad and grateful!! like wow, everything does work out. thank u spirit and the universe i truly appreciate it. 💗💗💗

#starrjournals #journaling #diary entry #small update #healing #doing well #😉 #obsessed with the winking emoji #😉😉😉

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HIIII!!! I’ve decided i’m nonbinary guys!!! i’ve known for a while but just like put it off for another time (mood) but yea i’ll still be going by she/her but i’m adding they/them!!! how exciting it is to learn more about yourself!!! so yea friends my pronouns are she/they. i know later it’ll only be they/them but for now i am good. it feels really nice to be able to say that. i’ve never really felt in the binary my whole life and never knew that being non-binary was an option growing up until recently tbh. i’m glad i’m able to learn this about myself and i can’t wait to learn more!! thank u for reading, i love u!!

#starrjournals #journaling #i am nonbinary #CONGRATULATE ME #PLS #FOR FIGURING THIS LUT #nonbinary #hey guys… #👉🏼👈🏼 #befriend me enby folks !! #asking for a friend

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i found one of my cats whiskers on the floor and i find them to be good luck. i just wanted to share that. also currently listening to tinnitus (wanna be a rock) by txt i rlly like it def recommend.

#starrjournals #cat #cat whiskers #currently listening #new music #meow

[starrjournals]

y’all i’m literally crying… i went to the management office for my apartment to fill out forms and they told me that i owe back rent. i was overstimulated x1000 bc there was a couple there who had their daughter on the phone translating and they were trying to figure out what they needed and they were loud and i could hear the guy i was talking to in the office talking to the property manager about me. i was literally looking everywhere and trying to stay calm bc it was a lot and then hearing the lady say she owes rent made it worse bc i knew it was abt me??? and the guy handed me the paper and i was trying to read it but he sat down next to me and it made me uncomfortable and he was just watching and waiting impatiently for me to sign and something in me was like don’t sign this but he made me so nervous just peering over my shoulder and watching for me to sign like i couldn’t even read the paper bc it was too much. the most i did was ask for copies bc when i tell u i never got this paper bc i keep all the papers from the office in a binder together. and when i told the guy he was like oh well you know mail gets lost on the way sometimes? like oh because it got lost on the way to me now i’m required to pay it back? like if i knew that i had a set rent to pay then i would’ve paid it. i’m so upset and sad and mad and want to cry again. i literally exited the building so quick to go home so i can cry in the comfort of my home. like i was barely keeping it together. i cried for very long. like it just kept going. writing this is making me teary eyed bc i just got hired for a job but i haven’t started yet and it’s barely a job tbh the shifts are 2-3 hours at most and i’m getting paid minimum wage. like yes i am grateful for this job opportunity. but now i am incredibly sad bc i can’t work a lot bc then i get so burnt out and my mental health suffers so much but then if i don’t work i don’t have funds for the things i need. i’m literally going to cry again. it’s really not a world for autism like i genuinely cant go back to forcing myself to work to the bone just so i can afford to pay rent. i’m imagining it as (in announcer voice) in one hand we have the basic necessities needed to live: housing, food, clothes. and on the other hand we have: mental health/audhd burnout!!! which will it be today fellas??? it’s not funny and i’m not using humor to cope but yea this is what it feels like. why do i have to choose to be able to take care of my mental health or be able to live and not be unhoused??? i don’t want to live like that. i won’t and i don’t know what i’m going to do but i refuse to live like that. i want to be passionate in what i do and be able to take care of myself. i’m so sad. i know it’ll get better. i have faith in that but for now i’m sad. if u read all this thank u. i do appreciate it.

#starrjournals #personal rant #diary entry #journaling #i’m honestly feeling sad #it’s not the end of the world and i will get back up!!! #i’m going to be okay

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awoooo! i hope u guys are doing well today! if not i wish u a better day! i just wanted to post but i don’t rlly have anything to say so yeah.

#starrjournals #awooo

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currently feeling sad but that’s okay bc i know this too shall pass. i will not always be stuck in my sadness, i will not always be stuck, i will move on from this. feeling very called to simply feel it and work through it. why am i sad rn? not sure but it could be me worrying abt my future, my next steps, my next move. also knowing that my dad is worrying about me bc my sister told me he was asking her questions abt me and she said idk. i don’t want to worry my dad at all. i want him to know that i will be okay and i’m going to be better. i know he worries bc i quit my job and don’t have any money currently but i know i will be fine. am i also worried? of course i am. i don’t know what life’s next steps are for me but i do know i have to make a choice. what will i choose? honestamente no se. estoy preocupada bc no se que quiero ser pero yo sé que no tengo que estar con sola una cosa y que no tengo que decidirme en una cosa por el resto de mi vida. yo puedo cambiar de lo que yo estoy haciendo cuando yo quiera porque es mi vida. i feel so much better writing that in spanish like fr. might have to do some more blog posts in spanish tbh. let out a deep breath cos phew 😮‍💨. but yea. i can’t let my emotions take control of me they are just passing through and it’s natural for me to feel sad sometimes. eso pasa. but i know i’ll be okay because i am sitting with these emotions and releasing them. i love you and appreciate you.

#starrjournals #journaling #diary entry #feeling sad #i will be okay tho #sending myself and others love #self help #mental health #awoooooo