#sunday i woke up to four messages from different people and half of them i don't even remember giving my number lmao | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

maryellencarter · 5 months

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okay, this may not be terribly coherent, but i think if anyone in the fandom still follows me, it's important for them to know.

earlier this summer, in addition to my wonderful partner of 6 years @camshaft22 , i agreed to date @johnhawkens , my gaming buddy. i knew he'd had some trouble with alcoholism previously, but he swore he was sober now. after losing my job, i moved up here so we could try to get disability and housing together, because arizona was absolutely horrendous for being homeless and i was not doing that a third time. the social services in this state are indeed much better. however, he had a lot of trouble with various applications falling through, crossed communications, and so forth. after three months in a group halfway house, they couldn't keep him any longer but he had nowhere else to go, so he wound up moving back in with his folks, who did not want him there but were prepared to tolerate him if he kept working hard on his housing.

on friday, november 10, i'm trying to be precise in my dates as far as i've been able to figure out, he got like four different pieces of bad news at once. he dug out some stashed liquor he'd hidden in his room about six months previous (before the halfway house or anything), got drunk, hid the bottle, forgot he hid the bottle, woke up and couldn't find it, assumed his folks had rifled through his stuff while he was asleep, and confronted them about hiding the bottle. this did not go well.

(he's always told me his folks are abusive, and i haven't questioned it too hard as mine definitely were, but i really have to wonder how much is... well, for example, do they actually go through his stuff when he's asleep or does he merely get confused and think they did?)

saturday and sunday, the 11th and 12th, were rough. i comforted him as much as i could, offered to drive up and get him, offered to help with his paperwork, talk to his case managers, whatever. on saturday he told me his father was insisting on seeing his paypal in order to find out if he had bought alcohol, and therefore sent me all the money in it to hold while he deleted the entire account to remove the history. he said he didn't want to get scolded for "unnecessary" purchases like games, which, sure, fine, my folks were like that, but it does mean he can't prove to anybody he *didn't* buy alcohol. (he's set it back up with the same email now.)

on sunday night, the 12th, he went radio silent, except for one DM to me about half past one on monday morning, which as far as i could find out was the last anyone had heard from him. i gave it a couple days, poking him on discord, texting him, calling him, and finally on tuesday evening, the 14th, i started messaging everyone i knew who talked to him, asking if they'd heard anything. nobody had.

on wednesday, i was basically assuming he'd killed himself and i'd missed my chance early monday morning to talk him down. i started looking up obituaries. i started talking about memories of him with his friends, at least the ones i'm reasonably close to myself. and i started to find out that his versions of some stories he'd told me were... weirdly different, from the ways the other people in the same stories remembered them. the other people's versions often seemed more in character to everyone i thought i knew.

we also found out that some of the times he'd messaged us for money lined up weirdly with times he'd claimed to have "drug interactions" making him act strange, and times he'd asked me for a lift. furthermore, i'd recently found out that his free phone "through insurance" was actually a lifeline program phone, which is all income-based through the government, so the time he'd told several of us that he needed a one-time payment to be allowed to keep it... did not fit with how i know the lifeline program actually works, especially since his carrier is verizon-owned and i have the entire verizon internal policy page on lifeline right up here in my damn photographic memory. so we sort of found ourselves edging toward "we hate to disbelieve our friend but we're having trouble making the puzzle pieces fit into the shape he wants".

on wednesday night he messaged me to let me know he was alive. hadn't eaten, hadn't slept, had just been existing in a depression spiral. which, okay, yeah, i've been there. we didn't talk much then because it was my bedtime and honestly i crashed hard from the relief of knowing he was alive.

on thursday, i didn't hear from him. in the evening i called him, and he sounded horrible, couldn't put more than two words together at a time. He told me he'd been having "waking nightmares", and at the time, I was like yeah, that happens to me when I'm off my CPAP, I get so sleep deprived I hallucinate and can't actually fall asleep, it's a problem. I told him he had to get to a hospital, preferably the one near me so I could visit, and he agreed to talk to his folks about it in the morning.

In the morning, we coordinated, his mom and I exchanged numbers, and they agreed to drive him down to the hospital. His mom sounded super happy that he had someone as committed as me who'd be able to give him the support he needed. I met them at the hospital that afternoon -- traffic was absolutely horrendous, so they had to head back home immediately, but they were happy to leave John in my hands, and he indicated he'd rather have me handle it than them as well.

John used to be a 911 dispatcher, so he does at least know that you fucking tell the medics what you've been drinking. Which it seems is why he didn't want his folks around for his intake, because that's when he dropped the bombshell that after running out of liquor made for drinking, he'd continued with isopropyl alcohol, better known as rubbing alcohol.

This hospital has a unique setup where if you're at the ER for psych issues, they don't necessarily whole-ass admit you to the psych ward, they have these little overnight "pods" where you can spend the night and they can assess you. So once John was checked in, I spent a few hours cuddling with him and chatting.

I got his meds list (and eventually found out that combining his particular meds with alcohol will cause hallucinations, hence the "waking nightmares"). He told me enough about the disgusting taste of the rubbing alcohol and how difficult it was to choke down enough to get a buzz off it, that I definitely believe he had been drinking it, although his breathalyzer came back zero so probably not as recently as he thought he had. He also told me that at some point, my best guess is Thursday, he got back in touch with @dukeswonderousmenagerie who let him know that AO3's oxfordRoulette had posted a new Jiglup oneshot; John attempted to read the oneshot, found that his reading comprehension was badly impaired, decided *getting drunk would help*, and managed to down enough rubbing alcohol to get a buzz for about 10-30 minutes (his time sense is also utterly fucked but I can't judge anyone for that), after vomiting it up multiple times.

After leaving the hospital so John could get a night's sleep, I talked the matter over with Leia. I told her the hospital would almost certainly only hold him overnight, especially since he'd told them he didn't have a plan to kill himself. ("He doesn't *think* he has a plan, but if he goes back home he will die," I said.) She agreed that I needed to fight with the hospital doctors to refer him to rehab, or however that works. My bunkmate here at the shelter, who used to be a hospice nurse, told me exactly who at the hospital I should make my case to, but warned me it would be a waiting game.

I hoped to get to the hospital on Saturday morning, the 18th, before they discharged him, and go directly to the doctors. I did not manage this; by the time I got there, John was already sitting right by the elevators and had called his folks for pickup. (He insists that he called me first but couldn't get through, and being a cell phone professional I know I can't quite disprove it, but I sure didn't have any missed calls. I had his number set to ring even when my phone is silenced, too.)

I asked John to let me talk to the doctors to refer him to rehab, a sober house, *anything* but going back to a place where he was already depressed enough to drink rubbing alcohol. He flat-out refused. He told me rehab was the worst experience of his life, and I listened closely while he rambled about it and did not manage to communicate any other reason to me except "I couldn't drink". He insisted he absolutely had to be somewhere he could "get out and about". (He also admitted he'd been able to get an Uber order of alcohol while he was at his halfway house, although he insists that was before I was up here and nothing to do with any of the times he asked me for money or -- God forgive me -- the time I ran a fundraiser for him.)

So he went back north with his folks. I talked to Leia about the conversation I'd had with him, and she was like "I know he doesn't want them to know but we have got to tell his folks to dump out the rubbing alcohol, for his own safety", and I was like "I just wish I knew if that was the right choice" and she was like "I'll do it and take full responsibility, blame me". So that's what we did. Leia texted his mom, his mom told him "we cannot be the support you need, get out of here and call 911 or a rehab".

And John called me, demanded I lie and say it was all a misunderstanding, insisted that if he has to go to rehab or any locked-down living situation where he can't get liquor he will just die sooner. I conferenced Leia into the call, following the plan.

Now, you have to know that Leia does not lie. Ever. Ever ever. I don't think she has in her entire adult life, or something like that. It's her one rule of morality. I absolutely expected her to laugh in his face, "fuck no I will not lie for you, listen to yourself, you have to get it together, man".

Instead, she folded. I did not realize she was so traumatized from the last much worse time I was on the streets, back in 2018, that she couldn't make herself be responsible for someone else being put out on the streets.

I told him, "She doesn't lie, man. Ever." He begged and pleaded and wheedled and demanded, and... She agreed to lie for him. She went -- scary, so scary it wasn't even sexy, scarier than Keith Silverstein Lupin at his darkest, she threatened him that if he ever drinks again he will die slowly and painfully, but he didn't take any of it seriously, which is possible even stupider than drinking isopropyl alcohol.

But anyway, she told John's mom it was all a misunderstanding. She's the worst liar ever, she sounded like she was reading a script against her will, but her normal affect is so autistically flat anyway that Mama Hawkens (this is not her real name) bought it. I did make John convince her to put the isopropyl alcohol in his parents' bathroom past a gauntlet of security cameras, anyway, but he's already bragged to me in the past that he knows how to dodge or circumvent security cameras.

I can't believe I'm saying this, but his mom was right to want to throw him out. Me, I'm saying this. But it was her only possible remaining bit of leverage to try to get him to seek help. And it didn't work, because of me, because I wasn't strong enough to tell him no myself, because I put Leia on the spot.

If he had asked for help, if he'd been "my folks are throwing me out and I have no ride, come up here and get me to a rehab", I would have done it, even if it'd taken all night and had lost me my bed at the shelter. But he didn't. He doesn't want help. He wants enabling. He'd rather be somewhere he can drink, even if he's in fear of his life (I don't know any longer how accurately).

It took me some time to figure out how to break up with him. I've never gone through a breakup before. But if he can and will mess with *Leia's* head that severely, he is not a safe man to talk to, for me or anyone. He will make you sympathize and take his side. He will suck all the money out of you that he can and drink it away. And eventually, someday, he will die.

I told Mama Hawkens "I still want to hear about any major developments with him, if you'd be willing to text me." I told John, "Don't kid yourself that this means I'd ever take you back. I want to know when you die, so your remaining friends can be spared the pain of not knowing."

*shrugs* I don't know how to end this post. Feel free to ask me any questions. I may be slow to answer. I... I loved the man I thought he was. We were going to make a life together. I'm still crying, grieving. I've lost both my Jigen buddies in about six months flat. But I can't be with someone who can or will even *think* of demanding that Leia lie for them. I know I can't even talk to him again or he'll get right back under my skin. I'm a mess, but I just want my side of the story out there, for when his next poor deceived enabler starts trying to figure out the truth.

edit: I JUST FOUND OUT HE WAS ALREADY DATING SOMEONE ELSE ONLINE WHEN HE PROPOSITIONED ME

wow i guess i have a whole story about my crazy ex now huh *yikesarooni*

#alcoholism tw #homelessness tw #self harm tw #i don't know how to tag this #johnhawkens #john hawkens

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justasmallbloginabigklainefandom · 2 years

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@sohereswhatyoumissedlastweek replied to your post “Guess who has Covid 😔”:

Oh no :( didn't you have a negative test a few days ago?

YUP.

Basically, on Saturday I was feeling ill and nauseous so I did a rapid test that came with a negative result. Literally half an hour afterwards I got a message from someone I hung out with on Roze Woensdag saying that he’d been feeling ill since Thursday and that he tested positive, so I was like “oh yeah I just did a test for other reasons I’m negative but I’ll pass it along to Alex.”

Also because I planned on going to Amsterdam on Sunday, which I did, and I obviously wanted to be safe. (Oof.) Now, I was like “COVID or not, if I am feeling shit, I am not going to Amsterdam” but miraculously I felt fine yesterday so I went to Amsterdam.

Now this morning I woke up feeling absolute shit. Like... even worse than Saturday. I was just tired and feeling too warm and what not so I was already panicking and I looked into getting a PCR test but I was so tired and I didn’t trust myself to bike to the testing location so I opted for another rapid test and... oof.

So now the question beckons: where the fuck did I get COVID? Was it on Roze Woensdag, cause apparently more people got COVID after that, and did it need some time to incubate? Or did I just get it yesterday in super crowded Amsterdam? After all, yeah there’s an incubation period of some days, but the guy who I hung out with on Wednesday immediately got sick the day after, so it might track that I got it yesterday in Amsterdam. Also the shit way I feel now is different from the shit way I felt on Saturday.

But what if I had it earlier? Cause here’s the thing with that negative result: a part of me did consider that it might be false, since rapid tests aren’t a 10000% reliable, but I dismissed the concern because I knew a lot of other people who also got sick without testing positive (one person even tested negative four times) so the idea of all of us having faulty tests just didn’t really sound believable. Plus the fact that I felt fine on Sunday made me also dismiss the concerns.

But yeah NOW I don’t know anymore.

Cause here’s the painful part: my family is driving to Italy on Saturday morning, so obviously I immediately called my mum to break the news to her and obviously we all agree I cannot come along if I have COVID (except for my sister, for some reason, who said that it’d probably be fine) (like... what???). Now Dutch quaratine rules say that you have to quaratine for at least 5 days, so you can get out on day 6, from the moment you show symptoms. If today is day 1, then I will definitely miss out on going to Italy, but my mum was like “what if it was a faulty test and you actually started showing symptoms on Saturday???” then I can go with them, under the condition that I am negative and that I have no more symptoms of course, because then I have to continue the quaratine.

But then I went to a packed theatre with COVID and that makes me feel bad too! I mean, yeah, I didn’t know!! But I did dismiss concerns that might’ve been legit!

EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEH

#replies #ine #sohereswhatyoumissedlastweek

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threenorth · 10 months

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Let's start at the bottom.

Yellow, Peace of mind? No mental health is important my dear, we both have struggles, it's going to be an interesting one... Especially now I'm learning more about my issues and I tell you what it kind of makes sense why I couldn't explain alot to you at the time, but I'd rather be in pain the you, but at the moment, I'm thinking about different things and I'd hate to say what some of them are until we talk more about things...

Black bottom right, I was supposed to ask you out? That didn't cross my mind,

I'll build a bridge, but I don't know how to say.

Let's go on a date via the internet, but to the movies, and hopefully you still have the movie Forrest Gump or Scott Pilgram, or a way I don't know if Scott is still on Netflix usa, but you should hopefully some how have the crap copy I gave you..? , that might be better..? and we can watch it together... If anything I'd tell you that I want to try see you everyday but it's going to be a grind... And you shouldn't stay up for me, again your mental health is important to me, so message me where ever it is you want and hopefully we can find a time that suits... I've got doctors, and mental health appointments and work and few gaps but we'll make it work...

Black left 2 up, you wish I was more honest?

About what? My mental health challenges? I didn't really want to trumaize you, or put through my shit... Then or even now post 2021...But I'd be honest if you tell me where I need to shed some light?

Black right 2 up, that night? The fight? If you didn't make a noise I was going to go full ham on that asshole, but I didn't want to put you in harm's way, so I tried to tell you what I needed and follow his game of my mental health at the time...

Black 3 up left, you can't hate me? You really should it's not like all your freinds you tell them you hate me last time I checked, so good luck trying to patch those issues because I'm not looking forward to the verbal abuse or a slap in the face from one of your girlfriends, it's not like my truma is around bullying and people who robbed my childhood and youth.

Black 3 up right, yes you are the only person I've ever felt anything for, I told you once and I'll say it again, all I wanted was your happiness, I just didn't know I too was looking for my own and would have to be dealing with depression and grief, I forgot I kicked you out of my life... And I've had issues around living my life on auto pilot per say, maybe I've been and had on/off depression since I was four and 1/2.

Top black left, I like you when you hold my hand, Iike it when I catch you day dreaming in my eyes, I like it when you wore tank tops, I like it when you asked me about changing your hair colour and it didn't even bother me what hair colour you had, I like it when your some how with me, I go alone to battle but soon I'll get a ring with a special message, maybe that will be the day you'll be a step closer but always be near my heart.

There's much that could feel of you, I don't know what your looking for as we don't talk anymore but one of the worst things I do, is follow everything best I can to what people tell me to do, I am a dog, I am loyal but I can't even follow my own thoughts... I probably was stuck in a manic on off state with axenity for years...even when it's dim some how I pull through... Soon I hope you come to vist me... My bed is half empty without you in it. And I'm looking forward to dating my old best friend, she's smart and worst of all she's beautiful.

I'll warn you that I might have to take notes.

Today was Sunday I woke up and had a shower, I went to church pretty yawn, and then just had a snack and went to have a bath, dinner and now I'm getting reday for bed early as it's going to be an early start to go to the cross fit gym.

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maevesdarling · 3 years

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Take me home tonight

Sooo, I decided to post chapter 1 of the story @unicorn-cloud and I have been cooking up for a while. This plays post series in an alternative universe. There’s mentions of gore and canon typical violence in both this and the second chapter, basically Walt is not dealing with things as good as he thought... I’m not sure how many chapters this story will have, probably around 3 to 4, also please be kind to me it’s been a long time since I uploaded my works to Tumblr, thx!

Chapter 1: The Call

Later, after he put his gun and badge down and moves further away from the border, Walt gets a call from an unknown number. He contemplates not picking up. It's been years since Kiki's death and operation Leyenda. He thinks, for a moment, that it could be Miguel Angel, calling him from his jail cell to taunt him, but no, he's not important enough to that man and besides, Miguel Angel doesn't wield as much power as he used to.

There are others. New players in this fucked up game, Walt knows that. He saw them rising on the horizon like a looming thunderstorm, ready to destroy the earth in it's path. But for now, he decided to enjoy his peace. His back's been bothering him more as of lately and he's got a few more grey hairs. He quit smoking about a year ago, after his doctor told him to do so. He's had a few setbacks since then, a half finished pack is always hidden underneath his kitchen sink, just in case he needs a fix. But overall, he's trying to stay away from the cigarettes and eat more healthy, even though the microwavable dinners at the supermarket look damn tempting, especially since it's only himself he's cooking for.

He's up in Colorado these days. The DEA was kind enough to leave him with a nice sum of retirement money, probably to shut him up after all the shit he pulled of during his career and to be fair he doesn't blame them.

He buys a nice enough house on the outskirts of town, with some additional property, a rundown barn and an old apple tree orchard that he has no plan on using. The weather's less hot, and there's a few lakes where he can fish, but otherwise, it's pretty much like any other town he's lived in. The dark red sandstones dotting the farmland remind him of Mexico. Of sitting in the hot sun and watching a small airfield in the distance, with a pair of binoculars in his hand. Sal's voice next to him asking about their next move. It's nostalgic in a way.

The first day, after he finished dropping off his stuff in the small, rundown house, he sets off to drive around, get familiar with the place. He finds a shabby bar, a small supermarket, a post office, a family owned diner and a few farms, with cows and hundreds of chickens roaming the surrounding fields, that sell local products. Over time, he ventures out further and discovers some more bars, supermarkets and, to his surprise, a gay club.

It's well hidden, two cities over, wedged between an antique bookstore and a barbershop. It looks nothing like a club from outside, and from the inside, it's hardly distinguishable from any other bar Walt has ever set foot in. But he knows where to look, it's something you learn over time.

The first time he orders a drink, his eyes fall on a guy sitting on the other end of the bar. Dark hair and dark eyes, with a bristly moustache. He's wearing a black cowboy hat and a jeans jacket, it's not what he would have worn. Plus he only looks a slight bit like Sal, his face is much older, more weathered from years of hard work in the sun, but it's enough for Walt to give in to his yearning.

He buys Not-Sal a drink and they fall into an easy chatter. Two hours later, Walt is driving him back to his house. Not-Sal is more experienced than Walt had thought when he starts undressing him with steady hands, his fingers touching in all the right places, he's already prepared, as if he'd been expecting this to happen, and doesn't mind it when Walt accidentally let's Sal's name slip at the height of his pleasure.

They lie together afterwards, sharing a cigarette between them, neither of them ready to leave yet. Walt is slowly falling asleep to the feeling of another person combing their hands through his hair. When he wakes up the next morning, the house is empty. There's a note on his kitchen table, a short thank you message, that's it. Next time he's at the club, Not-Sal is gone. He finds someone else. A different man, with dark hair, dark eyes and a friendly face, and then another and another. Some of the men he brings over are kind, they'll stay the night and sometimes even the morning, to share a quick meal with him before they move on, others leave almost immediately after they finish. Some of them yell out Walt's name as they come, others don't. And some yell out another man's name, but that's okay because so is Walt.

He's careful with the company he keeps. Always making sure that no one sees him leaving the club with another man, driving different routes back home and of course he's always stocking up on enough condoms because he's not stupid, he knows how important protection is.

Even though he's had a few men over, none of them return for longer than a couple of times. Its fun, to fill the mornings with senseless chatter, and to fall asleep in another person's arms. But they're not Sal.

He's longing for him. Even after all those years he's still longing for him. It's been three, almost four years since he last heard from Sal. He was moving to San Francisco. The DEA wanted someone new up there and Sal was growing tired of the shit hole they had placed him in after Mexico. They had called each other almost everyday, sometimes they would even meet each other, for a quick chat and an even quicker fuck. There was never enough time.

Sal wanted to call him back, he promised, once he was in San Francisco, to call him every day. Write a postcard. But nothing came. The telephone was silent for two whole months and Walt was desperate. First, he checked the newspapers for any missing or recently deceased people, when that search came up empty, he started to search the phone book for Sal's new address but of course that came up empty as well. He kept buying new phone books, just in case and by now, there was a small bookcase filled with old phone books in his house, and not a single one held an address for Sal Orozco. It was almost like he never exited. Only Walt's memory kept him from going insane. The fading photos on his wall, the one he kept in his wallet, next to a picture of Greg and his family. One of Sal's shirts he forgot in Walt's apartment in Texas, it had long stopped smelling of him, but nevertheless, Walt would pick it up and inhale deeply, thinking that the ghost of Sal's smell was still there, etched into the fabric. He slept with the shirt, on those nights when he woke up drenched in sweat, screaming and with a thundering heart. He wrenched his eyes open but he saw them anyway, Amat, Ossie, Danilo, sometimes even Kiki. He saw them die, he saw their bodies, bruised, burned, riddled with bullets, standing in front of his bed, he could hear them calling out his name. "You killed us, Walt." They'd point at him, blood dripping from their fingertips onto his bedsheets. Those nights were the worst. Sometimes they could only be stopped with an entire bottle of whiskey.

The dreams had gotten better since he found the dog. The dog didn't have a name. He was a stray, with dark, golden fur and dirty white paws. He picked him up on his way home from an unsuccessful night at the club, the dog was covered in ticks and fleas, one eye had been badly bruised and he was tied to a tree by the side of the road. Clearly abandoned. He expected the dog to bark at him, or worse, bite him, when he kneeled down beside him to untie him, but instead, it sat down in front of Walt and started wagging it's tail, as if he'd known Walt all his life. He took the dog in and gave it a bath, making sure that no ticks or fleas survived, before driving him to the vet the next morning to check out his eye. The vet couldn't save it and so Walt decided to take him in, just another broken thing keeping his company.

He put a collar on the dog and called him his, they slept in the same bed and sat on the couch together, watching football games and stupid action movies. The dog went fishing on the lake with him, even though he was no big help in catching the fish, he also liked to run around the orchard and sit on the front porch to sleep, and Walt liked to sit beside him and think, scratching behind his fluffy ears. Sometimes he wondered if Sal liked dogs. What he'd say if he met his dog.

The other animals were intentional. Walt bought a couple of chickens to sell their eggs at the local farm, and to keep himself busy. Then he renovated the old barn as best as he could and bought three goats to sell their meat, but once he saw them in their pen, he decided they weren't going to the slaughter house and kept them for their milk instead. He also fixed up the orchard as best as he could and started collecting the apples. Soon the onslaught of apples was too much for him to handle and so he collected them in a few boxes, along with the chicken eggs and sold them to the nearest farm. Surprisingly, the people around town started knowing him once he started visiting the farm more frequently. He would have regular conversations with some of them and at some point, even started looking forward to see them. He didn't go to the town hall meetings, or to Sunday mass, and the people had been weary of him, but once they saw him with his dog and the boxes of apples in his trunk, they warmed up to him.

He enjoyed his new life. It wasn't luxurious, but that wasn't what he wanted for himself anyway. He was no Miguel Angel. He didn't need a fleet of private planes and a couple of hotels to be happy.

The phone rang again and reminded him of his current situation. The dog had stopped wagging it's tail on the couch beside him and was looking at him with his one eye, almost as if he was saying "what are you waiting for?"

And so Walt picked up the phone, fully expecting Jamie or Ed or someone else from the DEA to yell at him to get his ass back to Mexico.

"Hello... is this Walt Breslin?" The phone slipped from his grasp and fell, he caught it in his suddenly sweaty palms, pressing the shell back against his ear. Three years silence could not erase the memory of that voice. Hushed conversations between them, hiding behind a parked car as they watched over a suspect, a gasp and then a low moan, while Walt kept hitting that one spot inside him, that set Sal's body on fire, a chatty conversation over two mugs of steaming coffee in a diner that ended with both of them laughing hysterically. Walt had enough memories for an entire lifetime with that voice, he would recognize it anywhere.

"Sal-" He breathed, rearranging the phone against his ear.

"Is- Walt is that you? Oh my god- fuck- I found you!" There was a short pause on the other end of the phone and for a moment Walt thought he was imagining things, then Sal's voice returned. "I- I'm sorry, Walt. I'm so sorry-" He sobbed, apologizing over and over.

"Sal- How did you find me? Wh- Are you alright? Is- do you need help?"

"No, no, I'm fine, Walt. I am. I just- fuck- I missed you so much. Where are you? I called you're old address so many times- I thought something happened to you…"

"Shh, I'm okay. I'm in Colorado. Small town near Denver. I'll give you the address… That is… If you want me to…"

"Yes! I mean... yes I want- I want to see you. If that's okay. I need to- need to know you're okay."

He contemplated with himself wether to ask this or not, but in the end, Walt did it anyways. "It's been three years, Sal. Why did you never call? What's changed?" Another sobb from the other end of the line. "I'll tell you. In person. Friday? Is that okay for you?" Walt squinted at his calendar. Friday was in two days, he needed to clean the house, buy some groceries and pack the car for Sunday's apple delivery.

"Yeah, Friday works."

"Alright. I'll see you on Friday… Walt… I missed you."

"… Missed you too Sal."

He put the phone down slowly, feeling like he was still in a dream. The dog had noticed something was off about his behavior and was staring at him in concern. " 's alright bud, I'm just… surprised, is all. We'll meet a friend of mine on Friday. I hope you'll like him…"

Lost in his thoughts, Walt began his evening routine, closing the chicken pen, checking on the goats and refilling the dogs food in case he got hungry during the night, only when the brown cibbles hit the kitchen tiles did he notice his thoughts slipping off. The only thing on his mind was Sal. Sal with his kind face and the warm, dark brown eyes, Sal wrapping an arm around his hips and pulling him closer, Sal whispering into Walt's ear. A hushed love confession neither of them dared to talk about. So, so many memories they shared between them, how was he supposed to wait any longer to see him again?

Friday couldn't come soon enough.

#narcos mexico #walt breslin #sal orozco #My writing #fingers crossed I find the time to finish chapter 2 soon

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britmall · 3 years

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5 days away #Tarlos

He couldn't sleep knowing he'd have to leave in the morning. He wasn't sure why his Dad, Captain, had signed them all up to arrive at the training seminar on different days and times. He was the only one that was arriving Saturday. Matteo and Marjan weren't coming until later Sunday and Cap and Judd were coming together sometime late Sunday evening or first thing Monday. All he was told, was to make sure that they had all the materials sent to them, and to make sure they had at least one formal outfit. Tk hated that. He like to just wear a sweatshirt(unusually one of Carlos') and a pair of joggers. And at work it was his work gear.

***

He slept maybe 2 hours and had to get up a little bit early to head to the shops to get a formal outfit. When he made his way downstairs, Carlos had breakfast made. He made TK's favorite. Eggs, toast and chocolate chip pancakes. Carlos made them into a heart shape, which Tk scoffed at. He made his way to Carlos and met his lips with a kiss. "Thank you Papi." "So nice of you to make breakfast." Carlos nodded his head and handed Tk a cup of coffee. They chatted and TK's eyes welled up. Carlos noticed immediately. He asked Tk why he was crying and Tk wiped his eyes. "III I...am not." Carlos knew him better than that. "Just worried about this seminar." "They will probably have everyone sitting there with drinks flowing and I am worried I will be tempted." Carlos didn't know that Tk could be tempted that easily. Carlos grabbed Tk in close and said, "call me if you feel that way." "You can do it." "You're strong." "I have every faith in the world, you'll be fine". "Besides, your Dad will be there". "He can help you". Tk knew that, but he was worried that if his Dad saw his weakness, he would hover. Tk leaned in for another kiss. "I have to go, I have to drive into town to get a suit". "Which I hate". "But, it was stated on the invite, that we needed one formal outfit."

Carlos, walked to the coat closet and pulled out a garment bag, and it had a new suit in it. He handed it to Tk and Tk couldn't lift his jaw up. He stood there speechless. "Babe, you shouldn't have". Carlos responded, "that he knew that Tk wouldn't have time and he wanted to have as much time with Tk as possible, before Tk left". "So he bought it. So, Tk didn't have to leave as early".

Tk pushed Carlos back into the kitchen counter, kissing him passionately, pushing his tongue in. Knowing now that he had extra time. He could definitely take advantage of it. Carlos pushed him away, and told him to "settle down"."He needed to finish getting ready".Tk kissed him more and harder. Taking Carlos' joggers off...making a reference that if Carlos had a shirt on, his curls weren't all messy and he wasn't stood there after having done something so nice for Tk, Tk wouldn't feel so much pressure to want to Thank him like this.

Carlos mumbled through the kisses..."You're unbelievable, you know that"? Tk said, "You love it".

Carlos said, "Yes, Tiger..I do, but you have to go". Tk said "not for another forty minutes, that leaves us with plenty of time". Carlos knew Tk wouldn't give up. So, he let Tk have his way. Knowing exactly what he could do to get Carlos to stop talking. He kissed his way down Carlos' stomach and slowly kissed all around the trail where Carlos' pants would sit. It didn't last long and Carlos was ready. Tk's mouth being so close to that area he couldn't help it. Tk slowly took the whole cock in his mouth. A feat that didn't happen often because, much to TK's liking, Carlos was huge. Biggest Tk has ever had. He didn't complain, but very much so, he couldn't always fit the whole thing in his mouth. He did this time, and Carlos buckled at the knees. Tk lifted him onto the counter. Carlos loved it. Tk didn't take charge often. It felt scary, and worrisome to Tk. He was scared that if he took charge, that it wouldn't be enough and Carlos wouldn't be satisfied and would end up leaving him. That brought up too many bad memories for Tk. But, today Tk took charge and Carlos was more than okay with it. Tk finished and threw a kitchen towel to Carlos, made his way to the door and told Los to "clean up". "He had to go".

****

Tk was driving, music fully blaring to try to distract himself from the boner he had , just thinking about earlier. He hated this. Five days away from Carlos. That would be hard to do. The most they've ever been away from each other was twenty four hours, and the longest they've ever gone without sex is forty eight hours. Another reason that Tk was very worried about leaving. Another reason he was crying earlier. He trusted Carlos. He fully trusted him, but damn, Alex made it hard. He knows deep inside that Carlos would NEVER look elsewhere, but, those feelings still come to the surface. Especially now, knowing they will be away from each other for so long.

Tk got to the hotel after the 2 hour drive, which seemed like 4 hours..and immediately called Carlos. Carlos didn't answer. Tk needed to hear Carlos' voice and needed to tell Carlos thanks for setting him off and making him drive the whole way with an erection.

He called Carlos again, no answer. So he decided that he was feeling feisty and took a picture of himself, without his pants on. Sent it to Carlos and said "this is all thanks to you". Carlos still didn't answer! All those thoughts kept going through Tk's head, but he kept saying to himself that maybe Carlos was working! Even though, he knew Carlos wasn't supposed to work until later. Something didn't seem right, but he decided he now needed to take care of something. And, would try to get a hold of Carlos later. He got onto the bed and started to undo his belt and his phone rang, he looked down and it said Papi❤. He immediately answered it, as he was about to say, "it's about time," Carlos shouted "Tyler Kennedy what on earth were you thinking sending me that picture"?. "Do you know what you've done to me?" "My sister stopped over and wanted to talk about planning Avó's birthday". "And then the picture came through and I could barely contain myself". "Keep it up and you'll be in the dog house". Tk couldn't stop laughing. "How did Lucia react?" "Really Tk?" "You can only think of how Lucia reacted and not that you shouldn't be sending pictures like that?" "Yessir!" Tk was loving this. "Oh meu Deus". Carlos said! Carlos shook his head and asked if Tk "had taken care of it yet?". Tk replied with, "I was just starting when you called me back". "Wish you were here, so I didn't have to do it like this." Tk proceeded.

***

That was the first time either of them ever did anything like that over the phone. It felt almost sinister, but Carlos had loved it. More times than none, he was the more adventurous one when it came to trying new things. Phone sex is definitely something they will have to do again.

The next morning at exactly 6am there was a knock at Tk's door. He woke up, all groggy and half out of it, stumbled over his suitcase that he didn't even put away(which he was mad about, because after his conversation with Carlos he did nothing the rest of the day before.). He got to the door and the hotel staff member was standing there with a tray with food on it. Tk could smell bacon and coffee. Along with the tray there was a single rose and a card that had something written on it. When he took the tray and sat down at the table in his room, he read the card. It said, "Dear Tk, I am so sorry, I can't be there with you." "I bought you breakfast and had it delivered, I knew you would sleep late and wouldn't make it down to breakfast at the hotel". "And I don't want you eating from some fast food restaurant, or skipping breakfast". "So, I wanted to make sure you were taken care of." "Eu te Amo, Tiger." "Enjoy your day." "We'll talk later."

Tk texted Carlos: "Thank you Papi for breakfast and for looking out for me. I love it. Love you."

Carlos never messaged back, but Tk was okay with that. He ate, got in the shower and then got ready for what he thought was to be one of the most boring days of his training. As he was getting ready, he got a message from Paul...he had wondered why Paul wasn't coming to the seminar. Turns out, Paul had to take care of some elderly lady that was back at home. Paul recently saved her from a fire and she has no one around. They texted back and forth for about 20 mins. Then Tk left and had to go two buildings over. To some building which seemed huge. There was a gym, a common room, and looked like conference rooms from what he could tell. He made his way to the common room where there was other people, waiting for the speaker to come in.

The day was dragging on, he hadn't checked his phone or anything the whole 10 hours he had been sitting in the class. Wondering why Marjan and Matteo didn't have to be there for that class.

***

After the class/speaker was done, Tk had decided he would hit up the gym in the building he was in and then head back to his hotel. On the way back to the hotel, he got a text from Carlos..it said: "Hey Babe, I've thought about our conversation on the phone yesterday, all day today." "And I can't stop thinking about it." "I need to do it again." Tk called Carlos.(was easier than texting his response)..."oh this is coming from the guy who was all embarrassed by it." "Now you want to do it again?" "You make no sense." Tk laughed. Carlos said, "It was hot Tk, just like you." "I couldn't resist it." "It's truly all I thought about, all day today." "While on the job, while at the gym, all day" "Oh, Los I get it, but take a breath." "I am not back at the hotel yet." "I am walking there now, but I would like to get in to the room, before I get all hot and bothered and ready." Carlos said, "Okay call me back as soon as you're in your room and settled in." Tk said, "okay, I will order some food and call you back we can do that while I am waiting on the food." Carlos bit his lip. Tk had gotten out the room key and when he first opened the door he looked down to see that the mess was cleaned up. He thought housekeeping had been there, but he was surprised to look up and see Carlos sitting there on the bed...fully unclothed.

His jaw dropped, he dropped the key and his phone on the floor.

"Wha...wha...what are you doing here?" Tk stammered. "I thought you couldn't join me at all, because you had to work the whole time." Carlos said, "No, I lied about that. I wanted to surprise you." Tk came over and straddled Carlos, he was mad....( but not really mad) Carlos had lied to him. He decided that that meant Carlos would have to be in trouble...he knew Carlos always had a pair of handcuffs on him and he had every intention of using them. But little did he know, Carlos had other plans. He was taking Tk's shirt and pants off..although the yellow hoodie Tk had on is Carlos' favorite. He almost didn't want to take it off of Tk, but Tk had already started to himself. So Carlos helped. Carlos slid out from under Tk. Tk tried to turn on his back, but Carlos pushed him down onto the bed. And kissed Tk's neck, all the spots of the neck, Tk lost his mind when Carlos kissed. He started to make his way down Tk's back and stopped right at the small of Tk's back, because Tk had been mumbling something. Carlos stopped kissing and Tk turned his head enough so, Carlos could hear him. Tk said, "I went to the gym before I came back here. I need to shower." Carlos had known Tk wanted to, but there was NO TIME for that. Carlos said "we can shower together afterwards, this isn't the first time I've seen you sweaty."Tk was surprisingly okay with that. Carlos pushed Tk's head back down so it was laying on the sheets and massaged Tk's back. Tk was always so tense. That's the only thing that bothered Carlos about Tk. He made his way down to Tk's arse and stopped, looked at it, and bit his lip. That was his favorite part of Tk. He wanted to admire it for just a bit. He slowly rubbed his finger all around it, sending shivers up Tk's spine. He arched his back as to lean into Carlos' finger. Carlos was always so gentle and careful when he was on top. He was bigger than Tk had ever had and he always wanted Tk to feel okay. To feel loved, to feel needed, to feel like he was enough. Tk always felt that way, when Carlos was the top. Carlos is amazing at what he does. He always, looks out for Tk and that isn't something Tk ever experienced before. Tk could do rough, could handle rough, he just didn't put feelings into it that way. Rough and rushed is always how it was before they were boyfriends. And although Carlos was more adventurous, he always, always, always, made sure that Tk was satisfied. And that Tk satisfied him.

As, he started to enter Tk, he pulled away and Tk was scared for a moment. He wasn't sure what was happening. Carlos said, "we can't do this like this. I forgot the lube and I didn't bring any protection." He knew the burn Tk felt even with those, he couldn't imagine how it would feel without it. Tk didn't care. He wanted Carlos so bad. He needed Carlos. Carlos asked "only if Tk was sure". Tk nodded and said "he was more than sure".

Carlos started out very slowly, he didn't want to enter Tk too fast, and hurt him in anyway. So, after he got past the part that burned the most, Tk had him stop, but not pull out. Tk needed to let the burning sensation settle for a minute.

He started to move on Carlos...Carlos knew TK was ready. He still went slow and Tk was moaning and breathing like he never had before. Carlos knew he could speed up, and Tk would tell him if that wasn't okay. It was the greatest they both ever had. The sounds that came from their room, could probably be heard all the way downstairs at the front desk. But, they didn't care. They were fully succumbed in the moment. As soon as they both finished Carlos rolled off of Tk and Tk rolled on to his back and Carlos' phone was going off. It was Captain Strand. He answered, "Hi Capt". "How are you?" Tk immediately reached for his phone, wondering if he had missed calls from his Dad. Remembering that he dropped his phone when he saw Carlos. Carlos wouldn't let him get up to get it. He still had his legs wrapped around Tk's.

Carlos had said to Owen, "Yes, he had NO idea so thank you." They hung up and Carlos looked over at TK. Tk asked "who had no idea, about what?" "And why were you thanking my Dad?" Carlos explained that Owen and Carlos had set this whole thing up. They knew Tk needed the seminar, but they both knew that Carlos wanted to have time away with TK. Tk needed that. Tk was so happy. Happy that Carlos was thoughtful enough to care, thoughtful enough to know exactly what Tk needed. Tk got up to get his phone, and to get ready to get in shower. Carlos asked "if he could join" and Tk said "yes, and that when they were done, it was time for round 2 and Tk was in charge".

Tried to write a thing. Hope you all enjoy it.

#tarlos #ronen rubinstein #rafael silva #911 lone star

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debbiechanclub · 4 years

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Best Two Out of Three, Part 11

Before you all get into reading this part that I’ve been STRESSING over, I want to say from the deepest depths of my often cynical heart how much I appreciate each and every one of you. It blows my mind on the daily that there are so many people who seem to care about this fic. YOU ALL MEAN SO MUCH TO ME. This fic has given me something to focus on and look forward to during this strange time in the world.

And now that I’ve buttered you up... pleasepleaseplease don’t kill me or @what-does-mine-say or Alex. She’s just trying to do the right thing, dammit!

Best Two Out of Three

Part: 11/26

Pairing: Kenny Omega x OFC x Cash Wheeler and Adam Page x OFC

Warnings: ANGST

Word Count: 4.2k

Catch up on previous parts here.

Alex woke up just after 7 a.m. the next morning. She’d slept as best as she could, given all that was on her mind. And that meant she needed a strong cup of coffee, stat.

She opened the door to the guest room and padded quietly through the house into the kitchen. She was surprised to find Adam there. “Morning,” he greeted when he noticed her. “I wasn’t expecting to see you up for another hour at least.”

“I could say the same about you,” she returned. “You and Dax hit the bottle pretty hard last night.”

“Please, that was nothing and you know it,” he dismissed. “Besides, I figured I’d get up and make everyone breakfast. You know, since Callie did everything yesterday.”

He grinned at her. She playfully rolled her eyes as she motioned at the coffee pot. “Is that coffee fresh?”

He nodded. She grabbed a mug from a cabinet and poured herself a cup, just waiting for Adam to bring up Cash. It didn’t take long.

“So,” he said as he started cracking eggs into a large bowl. “You and Cash looked like you were getting pretty cozy last night.”

Alex’s face went instantly red. She took a sip of coffee to try to hide it—but there was absolutely no hiding it.

“You like him,” Adam grinned.

If possible, her face went even redder. “Don’t.”

“Why? You know he’s been asking me about you.”

“Because, Adam.” She stopped and let out a frustrated huff. “Why are you so obviously trying to set me up with Cash? Better yet—why are you so obviously against me and Kenny?”

Adam stopped what he was doing. He looked conflicted, like there was something weighing on his mind. But Alex couldn’t have predicted what he said next. “Because I think Cash would be better for you than Kenny, Alex.”

A weight dropped like a rock into the pit of her stomach. She was stunned. Kenny was Adam’s tag team partner—his friend. She couldn’t believe he would go behind his back like that. “What?”

Adam cracked another egg and tossed the shell into the trash. “Look,” he started. “Maybe I shouldn’t say this but… even if you and Kenny finally did decide to be together for real, I don’t know if he’d ever really make you happy.”

That confused her even further. “What? Why?”

“Because you’re such different people, Alex,” he said. “You like drinking and having a good time just as much as I do. You like actually watching baseball, and stupid comedy shows, and you know how to handle a gun, for fuck’s sake. Meanwhile, Kenny doesn’t drink, and I love the guy but, besides wrestling, I honestly don’t know what his interests are other than video games and Japan. You don’t play video games. You suck at video games.”

She sent him a flat look. “So you think Kenny can’t make me happy because he doesn’t drink and I suck at video games?”

“Come on, it’s more than that and you know it,” he breathed. “Let me ask you this: have you ever stopped to think if you and Kenny actually have a connection? Or is it just physical?”

Alex opened her mouth—but she didn’t have anything good to say. Now that he’d forced her to think about it, she honestly didn’t know if her connection with Kenny did go beyond the physical. Their conversations never went below the surface to anything of substance. In fact, whenever she’d tried to go deeper in the past, he’d always pushed her away; and then, inevitably, he’d try to reassure her with sex. Trent was right—Kenny had commitment issues. But maybe Adam had a point, too. Were she and Kenny just not right for each other?

“Look,” he said again, pulling her out of her thoughts. “I know I’ve put you in a shitty position, and I’m sorry for that. But I can tell that you and Cash do have a connection. And I think that’s worth giving a shot.”

He went back to cracking eggs. Alex frowned down into her coffee. She thought back to less than eight hours ago, to how she’d felt when Cash had held her in the hallway, like there wasn’t anyone else who mattered in the world. They did have a connection; she could feel it already. But, given the circumstances, she also couldn’t help but feel guilty about it.

“I’m gonna go get dressed,” she sighed, and she walked out of the kitchen before Adam could say a word. She went straight back to the guest room and fished her phone out of her bag. There weren’t any messages. She opened her texts with Kenny, her thumbs hovering over the digital keyboard. But she didn’t know what to say. There was too much and absolutely nothing to say all at once.

Someone knocked lightly on the half-open door. She turned and looked. Her heart fluttered. It was Cash.

“Morning, sweetheart.” He let himself in, pushing the door nearly closed behind him. She felt her pulse start to quicken—but then he gave her an amused smirk. “Did you sleep in an Orange Cassidy shirt?”

“Oh.” Alex flushed as she looked down at her shirt. “Yeah. What, are you jealous?”

“A little, yeah,” he admitted with a grin. “I’m gonna have to get you an FTR shirt to sleep in.”

She bit back a grin. Something about Cash made her feel like a schoolgirl with a crush. She hadn’t felt that way in a long time.

“Come here,” he said. She dropped her phone to the bed and met him halfway, wrapping her arms around his neck. “Mm,” he hummed as he hugged her. “How’d you sleep?”

“As well as I could, I guess,” she answered. “You?”

“Same. I had to talk myself out of coming in here more than once.”

She smiled against his shoulder. “Did you?”

He nodded. “Yeah.” He unwrapped his arms from around her but kept his hands on her hips, still holding her close. “Are you glad you came this weekend?”

She nodded. “Yeah, I am. It was… unexpected. I’ll just put it that way.” She ran her hands over his chest, worrying at her lip. It had been unexpected, alright. In a good way… but also in a not-so-good way. Just because she’d realized her feelings for Cash were more than just drunken attraction didn’t mean that her feelings for Kenny were gone. They weren’t—and she didn’t want to hurt him. She knew all too well what that felt like.

“Hey,” Cash gently said. She looked back up at him. His eyes were soft and sincere. “I know things are complicated right now. And I don’t want to complicate them further. But I wasn’t just sweet talking you last night, Alex. I meant everything I said. And if you meant what you said, too… then I’d like to take you out sometime, even if it’s just for coffee.”

There were the butterflies again. “Are you asking me on a date, Cash?”

He smiled. “Yeah. If that’s something you’d be interested in.”

Alex’s grin nearly split her face in two. “Of course I’d be interested,” she said. But her grin faltered. She couldn’t just accept a date with Cash. As he’d said, things were complicated.

“Why do I feel like there’s a ‘but’ coming?” he asked.

“But,” she said. “I need to talk to Kenny first. It wouldn’t be fair to him if I didn’t.”

Cash nodded. “I know. And honestly, the fact that you know that makes me like you even more.”

She smiled and wrapped her arms around his neck again, and he held her tight like he had in the hallway the night before. Alex knew there was a difficult conversation ahead of her, and probably a lot more guilt and anguish. But Adam was right: what she and Cash seemed to have was worth a shot.

She just wasn’t looking forward to having to tell that to Kenny.

* * * * * * * * * *

Alex arrived at the hotel in Jacksonville on Wednesday with a heavy heart and a stomach full of nerves. Her legs felt like Jell-O as she walked across the lobby toward the elevator, praying that she wouldn’t run into anyone on the way up to the room. She wasn’t ready to talk to anyone yet.

She hadn’t spoken to Cash since he and Dax had left Adam and Callie’s house on Sunday, and that was by design. She’d told him before he could even ask for it that she didn’t feel comfortable giving him her number until after she’d talked to Kenny; she just wouldn’t have felt right texting—and probably flirting with—him behind Kenny’s back. Cash had, of course, completely understood. Ironically, how sweet and sensitive he was being about the entire situation only made things harder for her.

As for Kenny… their communication had been sporadic over the last four days. He’d been busy. She wasn’t even sure what with; all the things he had on his plate were hard to keep straight. But honestly, his business had been a blessing in disguise. If they’d talked any more than they had, she didn’t doubt she would have given away that something was weighing on her.

But Cash and Kenny weren’t the only people on her mind. She still needed to talk to her best friend—and she couldn’t put off that conversation any longer.

She stepped off the elevator and made her way to the room number written on the key card sleeve the hotel clerk had given her. When she arrived, she slid the key card into the lock, opened the door, and gave a warning knock. “Are you naked?”

There was no answer at first. And then Chuck called, “No. Should I be?”

Alex laughed lightly to herself as she walked the rest of the way into the room. “Just checking. Can’t be too careful after you and James walked in on me.”

Chuck stood from his bed, clearly surprised to see her. “Hey. Are you staying here this week?”

She looked sheepishly at the floor. “I was hoping to, if that’s alright with you.”

He didn’t hesitate. “Yeah, of course,” he said. Alex let out a relieved breath. “I just figured you’d stay with Kenny again.”

She awkwardly cleared her throat. She really didn’t want to get into all that right now, so she just ignored the comment. “Well, you and I are about a week overdue for a certain conversation.”

For a second, Chuck looked like a deer in headlights. But then he shook his head. “We don’t have to talk about that, Alex.”

“No, we really do, Chuck,” she returned. “Trent and I might have hashed things out, but that doesn’t mean that what he said just disappeared.”

“I didn’t agree with anything he said.”

She pursed her lips. “Be honest.”

His eyebrows arched. “I am!”

“So you don’t think I took advantage of your feelings by flirting with you to get the attention I didn’t get from Kenny?”

“No! Not intentionally!”

Alex gaped at him. “So you do think that then.”

“No, I—” he cut himself off and let out a frustrated huff. “Okay, that sounded bad. But I promise you—it didn’t hurt me. Not like Trent implied. I’m not an idiot, Alex; I knew what you were doing. And honestly? If I could help keep you from crying over Kenny, then I really didn’t care if the flirting meant anything or not.”

He looked back at her, completely vulnerable and honest, and it absolutely gutted Alex. Was that really the truth? If it was, then Chuck was too good a person; she felt completely undeserving of his friendship. But there was a giant pink elephant staring at her from the corner of the room, and there was no way they could put this behind them if they didn’t address it. So Alex just came out and said it.

“When you told me you were in love with me in Vegas, did you mean it?”

Chuck hesitated. But then he ran a hand through his hair and said, “At the time, yeah. But I got over it. That’s why it pisses me off that Trent and James still bring it up. They don’t know what they’re talking about.”

Alex felt like she’d had the wind knocked out of her. She walked over to one of the beds and sunk down onto the comforter, stunned. Chuck was at her side in a second. “When?” she breathed.

His brow furrowed. “When?”

“When did you get over it?”

He combed his fingers through his hair again. “I don’t know… sometime in the fall? I mean, I knew you didn’t feel the same. And you got involved with Kenny not long after I said it, so… it was just easier to get over it.”

Alex couldn’t look at him. She felt awful. More awful than she had when Trent had called her out, more awful than she did about her feelings for Cash. That’s why Chuck had let her flirt with him—because he’d been in love with her. And she’d been too blind and selfish to see it.

She looked back at him. “Why don’t you hate me?”

He gave her a look like that were impossible for him. “Because I do love you. Platonically,” he emphasized with a grin. It made her smile, just a bit. He wrapped an arm around her shoulders and pulled her against his side. “You and Trent and James are my best friends. And there’s not a lot that I care more about than that.” He paused. “I mean, there’s Walter’s happiness and health. And the Phillies. And the Sixers. And the—”

“I think I get it,” she smirked.

He smiled. “The point is… our friendship is like a cockroach. A nuclear blast wouldn’t kill that shit.”

Alex pinched the bridge of her nose, trying not to laugh. “You have a way with words, Chuck.”

“I know,” he seriously returned. “So can we please put all this behind us and go back to being best friends?”

She looked up at him. “We never weren’t best friends,” she said as she pulled him into a hug. She closed her eyes, happy to have at least sorted this out; but when she opened them again, she got a shock. Trent and James were peeking around the adjoining door between their rooms. Watching. “What the fuck?” she proclaimed.

“What?” Chuck let her go and turned around to look. “Seriously?” he asked when he saw them. “How long have you been there?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” James coolly returned. “We just got here.”

Alex pursed her lips. That was an obvious lie.

“So are you two good now?” Trent asked.

“Yeah,” Alex nodded with a smile. “As long as Chuck is okay then I am, too.”

He wrapped his arm around her again. “Of course I am,” he assured.

Trent stepped into the room. “Well then I think we know what this calls for.” He opened his arms and beckoned them over.

Alex arched a brow. “Seriously?”

“We’ve got to give the people what they want, Alex,” he returned.

She playfully rolled her eyes as she and Chuck stood up and walked over. James joined them, and they all gave each other a group hug, Alex squished in the middle.

There were a few seconds of silence. And then Alex said, muffled by James’s shoulder, “This is weird.”

The others all agreed as they stepped back from each other. “Yeah, let’s never do that again alone in our hotel room,” Trent said. But Alex smiled. Chuck was right. Their friendships were like cockroaches—and she wouldn’t have it any other way.

* * * * * * * * * *

A little while later, Alex walked down the hall toward the elevators. She felt like she was walking to her execution. Kenny had texted that he’d arrived at the hotel and can’t wait to see you. She’d wrestled with what to do before she sent a response—See you in a few—and went out the door. There was no point in delaying the inevitable.

She rode the elevator up one floor and made her way to Kenny’s room, hoping that the Bucks or anyone else wouldn’t be there, too. When she got to his door, she took a deep, steadying breath and knocked. It was only a few seconds before he answered. The sight of him broke Alex’s heart before he even said a word.

“Hey, baby,” he smiled. Her stomach fluttered. Why did he have to call her that? But then his brow furrowed. “Where’s your bag?”

She had to swallow a lump in her throat before she could answer. “I’m actually staying with Chuck this week.” She looked down at her hands, picking anxiously at her nails. She wasn’t at all surprised by what Kenny said next.

“Oh… okay. Is something wrong?”

She looked back up at him, her heart pounding in her chest. “Can I come in?”

He didn’t say anything at first. It was obvious now that something was wrong. But he nodded. “Yeah.” He stepped back and opened the door so she could walk inside. She moved past him and sat down on the bed; her legs were too shaky to stand. Kenny closed the door and came to sit facing her on the bed. He put a hand on her thigh. “Alex, what’s going on?”

Alex stared at the carpet in front of her. She’d thought a lot about how to start this conversation over the last four days, and she’d kept coming back to what Adam had said to her as they’d stood in his kitchen Sunday morning. “Have you ever thought about if we’re actually compatible?”

She looked over at him. He looked confused. “What? What’re you talking about?”

“You know what I’m talking about,” she breathed. “Have you honestly ever really thought about if we’re right for each other?”

He searched her eyes, completely taken aback. “What brought this on?”

“Please… don’t avoid the question.”

He let out a sigh. “Alex…” he reached out and gently cupped the back of her head, massaging his fingers through her hair. “I told you I want to do this right this time around. Don’t you think I would have thought about that?”

Alex closed her eyes. That was a non-answer, and she didn’t know what to make of it. “If you want to do it right this time then why doesn’t it feel any different than eight months ago?”

Kenny abruptly stopped massaging her head. “What?”

She looked back into his eyes. “I feel like we’ve barely talked in the last week. And I know it’s only been a week since we decided to try this again… but it already feels like more of the same, Kenny. You said you wanted talk to Trent after our fight, but you didn’t. It bothered me, but I understood; when we’re at work, business should come first. But the thing that really got to me was when you didn’t come back to the hotel room until after one in the morning after telling me that filming for BTE wouldn’t take that long. So were you actually filming that late, or were you just hanging out with Matt and Nick or whoever?”

He pulled his hand back. “Alex,” he started—but she wasn’t done.

“It made me feel like you didn’t care that I was sitting up waiting for you. Do you know how often I felt that way last year? Too often. I don’t want to go through that again.”

They fell into silence. They were sitting right next to each other, but it suddenly felt like there was an ocean in between them.

“It’s only been a week,” Kenny reiterated.

Alex shook her head. Part of her wanted to believe him, to hold onto hope that this week was just a fluke—but she couldn’t ignore what Trent had told her at ringside last week. Maybe Kenny just didn’t have room in his life for a relationship. “I know. But it didn’t feel any different than the last time, Kenny. That’s the point I’m trying to make.”

She looked back down at the carpet, a heavy quiet engulfing them again. But then, unexpectedly, Kenny reached out and took her hand in his.

“I’m sorry that I didn’t get back to the hotel until after one in the morning,” he said. “I hate that it made you feel like I didn’t care, but I understand why it did. And I get why you’re worried. I know I need to work on balancing my work and personal life. You’re not the first person to tell me that; it’s a problem I’ve always had. But I will work on it, Alex. I want to work on it for you.”

Alex closed her eyes again. A tear rolled down her cheek. This was the part she didn’t want to do. But she had to. “That’s not the only thing,” she said.

He rubbed his thumb back and forth over her hand. “What do you mean?” he asked.

She spit it out before she could stop herself. “There’s someone else.”

Kenny went still, but he didn’t let go of her hand. The seconds that passed before he spoke again felt like an eternity. “Who? Chuck?”

Alex almost laughed; she hadn’t expected him to think that. “No,” she shook her head as she wiped the lone tear away from her cheek. “No, it’s not Chuck.” She paused. And then she said, “It’s Cash.”

He pulled his hand away then. “Cash?” He looked confused. “You flirted with Cash once when you were drunk.”

Alex bit down on her jaw. She could have easily thrown out a comment about how Kenny’s jealousy over her drunken flirting with Cash was the only reason he’d even talked to her that night, but she bit her tongue. She didn’t want to get in a fight. She was just trying to do the right thing—and that meant being honest. “I went to a cookout at Adam and Callie’s on Saturday,” she explained. “The whole point of it was to try to get me and Callie to at least not hate each other… but Adam invited Cash and Dax, too. And I’m not going to lie to you… I realized that I like Cash when I’m sober, too.”

“Cut to the chase, Alex.”

She stopped. The look on Kenny’s face was entirely unreadable. Her mouth went dry. If he wanted her to cut to the chase, then she would. “He asked me on a date,” she said. “And I know it’s fucked up, but… I wanted to tell him yes, Kenny. I can’t just ignore that.”

Another tear fell and she wiped it away. Kenny ran a frustrated hand over his face. “So what did you tell him?”

Her voice came out small. “That I needed to talk to you.”

His eyebrows arched. “That you needed to talk to me? About what? To get my permission to go out with another guy?”

“No!” she returned. “I wanted to talk to you so that I wouldn’t be going behind your back! So that I wouldn’t be lying to you about how conflicted I’m feeling!”

“Well, you’re not the only one.”

Alex’s face fell. Hearing that was like a knife to the gut.

“Maybe we rushed into this,” he added.

She faltered. There was only one thing left to say. “I’m sorry.”

He shook his head. “Don’t.” He ran a hand through his hair, scratched the back of his head in frustration. Alex sat there, mute. She knew it wasn’t her place to say any more.

“I get what you were trying to do with talking to me,” Kenny eventually said. “And I actually do appreciate that you didn’t want to lie to me or go behind my back. But I know how I feel about you, Alex. And if you don’t know how you feel about me, then you need to figure it out. And if that means going on a date with Cash… then I guess you should.”

Alex’s heart dropped into her stomach. She wanted to grab his hand, hold him, do or say something to communicate that her feelings for him hadn’t just disappeared. But she had a feeling that anything she might do or say would only make things worse.

His gaze met hers. “I think we’ve both said everything we have to say right now.”

Tears fell from both of Alex’s eyes then. She didn’t bother to wipe them away as she stood and moved toward the door. She didn’t know what this meant. It didn’t feel final, but it didn’t feel like there was anywhere for them to go, either. All she did know was that, as she let herself out, she felt even more confused than she had when she’d arrived.

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h-styles-babes · 4 years

Text

This Way Comes (Pt. 2)

Alright guys! Here’s the second and final part of my Halloween fic. Thank you so much for reading their first part. The response to it has been amazing. Hopefully the end lives up to the rest of the story.

Words: 11.5k

Warnings: Animal sacrifice (not described in any detail)

The rest of the weekend saw Harry and Andromeda living in a sort of sexed-out bliss. In the wee hours of Saturday morning, Harry woke up to Andie’s mouth around his erect cock, which led to another full round of sex. They woke up midmorning, and Harry made breakfast before they took a shower, where Andie was introduced to the wonders of shower sex. Then when they sat down in the living room for a movie marathon after lunch, Harry bent her over the arm of the couch while Pretty Woman played in the background. He laid her out on the kitchen table and sat in a chair to eat her out after dinner, then he took her back to her room. Sunday saw much of the same, only they ordered their meals in to avoid wasting time cooking.

Harry had class before Andie on both Monday and Tuesday, but they saw each other by late afternoon, controlling themselves enough to make and eat dinner before retiring to the bedroom. However, when Andie emerged from the room to go get a glass of water, she was confronted by the last person she wanted to see, especially since she was nearly naked and there was a mortal in her bed.

“Mum,” she gasped, pulling at the hem of Harry’s t-shirt she was wearing to better cover her bits. She had knickers on, but they didn’t do a great job of preserving her modesty.

The women who’d birthed her stood in her entryway, obviously fresh from stepping through the mirror portal. She was in the witch’s version of a power suit: a dark green, floor length velvet dress that draped around her shoulders and had a slit up to mid-thigh, exposing the spiked heels she wore. There were necklaces shaped in Wiccan symbols layered on her neck, and her earrings were obsidian marbles with amethysts in the center. Her familiar, a big, imposing raven, sat perched on her shoulder. Her eyes, that were the same pale shade of blue as Andie’s, peered on at her in a thinly veiled look of distaste and slight amusement. Annabel had been around long enough that she knew a walk of shame when she saw one.

“Hello, darling,” she greeted, the humour in her voice evident. “Classes going well?”

Andie rolled her eyes. “I went to class. I got out at four.”

Her mum hummed, stepping further into her daughter’s flat. She gave a low whistle and Lenore, her raven, flew to the top tier of Bub’s cat tree, peering down into the little hideout Bub was sleeping in the tier below. Bub hissed half-heartedly, realising belatedly that the intruder was a fellow familiar.

“Who is he, then? Sarah knows that nice boy from the American coven that’s here doing research. Mitch, I think.”

“No offense, but he’s not my type. And besides, Sarah is into him.”

“Then wh—”

Annabel was cut off by Harry’s voice coming down the hall.

“Where’d you go?” he called, spotting her at the end of the hall, peering into the living room. His brows furrowed. “Did someone knock at the door?”

“Uhh…” Andie stumbled, looking between Harry and her mum. This was definitely not the way she wanted her mother to find out she was in an intimate relationship with a mortal. She’d have preferred if it never happened, but she knew it would happen eventually, the way her and Harry were moving. This was just the worst way possible.

As soon as Harry came into her mother’s view, Andie could see the instant recognition that Harry is mortal. Her nostrils flared slightly, but she took a deep breath before arranging a contrite smile on her lips.

“Never took you as one to sleep with your wards, Andromeda,” Annabel said.

“Excuse me?” Harry asked, brows furrowed. The fact that he was only in his boxers made him less intimidating, but he was still the tallest, broadest person in the room.

Andie placed a hand on his chest, silently begging him to not get riled up or say anything else. “He’s my friend, Mum. He just so happened to get the attention of a wraith.”

Annabel pursed her lips as she looked Harry up and down before sighing. “Whatever. Would you two put some clothes on? We need to talk about what’s happening tomorrow.”

~*~*~*~*~

The American witch walked through Andie’s entryway portal at ten in the morning Wednesday. Sarah, Annabel, Mitch, Harry and Andie were already gathered in the living room when the mirror whirred to life. There was a shift in energy in the room when she stepped through the pearlescent haze of the portal, her tall, platform boot the first thing to emerge. Andie held her breath, waiting for the reveal of who this mysterious witch was. Sarah hadn’t ever mentioned her name, most likely on purpose.

When she finally completely tread into Andie’s entryway, her and Harry’s jaw dropped.

“Holy shit,” Harry muttered. Though, it had been completely silent in the room, so it was loud echoing off the wood flooring. “You’re Stevie Nicks.”

Her sage eyes landed on Harry, who was sat on the loveseat beside Andie, and she smiled softly. “Yes, I am. You must be the poor mortal we’re all worried about.”

Annabel made a grunting sound that sounded suspiciously like a “speak for yourself,” that everyone but Andie ignored. She shot her mother an annoyed look before turning back to their guest.

Stevie fucking Nicks was in her flat. No big deal.

“I suppose,” Harry agreed. “I thought the witch thing was just a rumour.”

“Me, too,” Andie whispered, still a bit awestruck. Never in a million years did she thin Stevie Nicks was a real witch.

“And you’re still tellin’ me your life isn’t like that American Horror Story season?” Harry asked.

Stevie laughed. “That was a little nod to my community. Keeping a secret for nearly a hundred years is hard work. Need to keep it fun somehow.”

“Can we get to business, please?” Annabel interjected. Her nostrils were flaring in that way she had when she was irritated. It was the same look she’d given Harry when she first met him a few days prior. It was a look Andie had been on the receiving end of many times in her life.

“Don’t get your panties in a twist, Annie,” Stevie admonished.

Annabel gave their guest a pointed look before rolling her eyes in submission. Andie had never seen her mother give up a fight so easily. They must have known each other pretty well for her mum, the pinnacle of the witch community, to acquiesce so quickly.

“And you must be Andromeda.” Stevie’s gaze turned to Andie, who was sat much more properly since Stevie walked into the room. “Your mom has told me a lot about you.”

“I won’t even ask if they were good things,” Andie grumbled. “It’s nice to meet you.”

Stevie shot her a knowing smile, like she was privy to something that the rest of them weren’t. Andie wasn’t really willing to dive into it right then with a room full of people.

“You too, sweetheart.” Stevie made her way around Andie’s living room, taking up the one free seat next to Andie and Harry, in the big cushy chair that Andie had bought on a whim at a flea market the previous spring. It was gothic and beautiful and definitely an antique, and she just had to have it. Stevie looked just at home in the chair, her diminutive stature looking grand despite the high back.

“Now, let’s talk about this spell.”

~*~*~*~*~

The spell had to be performed on a full moon, and the full moon that month was too close for them to properly prepare. There were ingredients to be gathered that were not exactly something that was sold at the local apothecary, so it took some investigating and some late night adventures into the forest. The had four weeks to get all the necessary items as well as mentally prepare themselves to undertake this task.

Stevie had showed them the spell. It was…intense, to say the least. The ingredient list was nearly thirty bullet points long and the incantation that needed to be said went on for nearly three pages. Not to mention the diagram of the set up was intricate and required Harry to be laid in the center of a giant pentagram thirty feet in diameter mapped out in the branches of an elder tree. The candles that sat at each point of the pentagram had to be made of beeswax and dyed with powdered obsidian (which was not easily come by). The instructions only got more convoluted and involved from there. Andie was already ready to pull her hair out trying to organise who was to retrieve what.

For what it was worth, Harry was cool as a cucumber. When he would come home from work or class and see Andie hunched over her copy of the spell and fifteen different tabs open on her computer, he’d simply come over, drop kisses to her shoulders and neck, before closing the lid of her laptop and pulling her up from her seat. He only ever distracted her when he knew she’d been at it for hours on end, knowing the work she was doing was important. But she needed a break every few hours, and he was more than happy to be the source of her stress relief.

Harry and Andie hadn’t put a label on what exactly it was they were doing, yet. Harry was afraid to ask, worried that he’d freak her out and make her backtrack. Andie was concerned with making it official just for his soul to be sucked out by a wraith if her attempt at freeing Harry from this supernatural connection failed. It was an odd balancing act that they had never anticipated having to figure.

Andie was able to handle a week and a half holed up in her flat, doing her research, aside from going to class, before she finally needed a longer break than the hour and a half her and Harry would be together whenever he tore her away. She’d sent out a fire message to an apothecary in Romania that was pretty good about acquiring rare ingredients for obscure spells about the powdered obsidian. Given the time difference, she knew it would be hours, if not a full day, before she received a response. Then was a good a time as any to take a proper break and get out into the world while she had the chance.

When Harry got home from class that evening, Andie suggested they go out to dinner and maybe take a bit of a stroll. It was a crisp day, but not raining or windy, and it was already beginning to get dark. It was the perfect time to get out, and maybe they’d stumble upon some weird fungus they needed while they walked. Andie wouldn’t be disappointed if they didn’t find anything, but may as well take the chance. Two birds, and all that.

Harry quickly agreed and they headed off to a local Thai place without much deliberation on where to eat. They both had been craving it, it seemed, so they set off, hand in hand, Andie using some of that natural energy she possessed to keep their hands warm while exposed to the chilly autumn air. Harry was thankful, his fingers nearly turning blue the second they made it out onto the street.

As soon as they turned the corner onto the main road, laughing at a story Harry was regaling her with about someone in his Twentieth Century Literature lecture, a chill ran down Andie’s spine, not caused by the dropping temperature. She felt the blood drain from her face as she looked straight on at the wraith attached to Harry, much closer than it had been in the previous weeks. It was getting stronger, she realised, the just passed full moon probably lending to its power surge. Where it had been lingering about fifty meters away since it first latched onto Harry, it was now considerably closer, probably twenty meters, at max. It was close enough for Andie to make out the hallow darkness that occupied where it’s face should have been and the bony, gnarled stumps in the place of hands under the wispy blackness of the cloak that covered whatever form of a body that it had.

Harry noticed the dropped look of horror on Andie’s face as she gazed over their shoulders. He stopped their walk, but Andie pulled them along, beginning to mumble under her breath in a rapid cadence in a language Harry didn’t understand.

“What is it?” Harry asked, but Andie shushed him with a finger to her lips, her own mouth still moving. Harry realised belatedly that she was muttering a spell under her breath, and Harry had a sinking feeling that it was because of the darkness that had latched itself to him those weeks ago.

“Should we just go back to yours?” Harry asked.

Andie shook her head and kept pulling him along. He noticed the heat emanating from her hand in his rise in temperature, surpassing the comforting heat she’d been giving off before. He went to pull his hand away, lest it get too hot, but she kept a firm grip on it, silently telling Harry that it was best if his hand stayed in hers.

They were nearly to the Thai place before Andie relaxed and the heat left their hands. She seemed to still be on high alert, but her hackles weren’t raised anymore.

“Quick update to the warding spell I put on you,” she told him under her breath before Harry opened the door to the restaurant. “It’s getting closer.”

Harry shot her a wary look before turning to the hostess with a smile and asked for a table for two.

When they sat, Harry hooked his foot around the leg of Andie’s chair opposite him and pulled her in closer. “Why can’t I see it?”

“Part of being a witch or other supernatural being is having the Sight,” Andie told him, picking up her menu, even though she knew what she was going to order. She got yellow curry every time. “It’s pretty rare for a mortal to be able to see this sort of stuff. Usually only children can see them, or if there was witch blood somewhere back in their lineage, if it’s close enough to the current generation.”

“I can sort of feel it, though,” Harry added, looking over his own menu. “Like, especially when I’m alone in public. Sort of like I’m being watched.”

Andie nodded and reached her foot out to press up against his under the table. She could see he was a bit anxious about the news that the wraith was closer than normal, so she was offering support in a way that kept her hands free. She could still see the cloaked figure standing outside the big windows of the restaurant.

“I’m not surprised. The energy they give off is…not pleasant. Makes my skin crawl when they get close.” She rolled up the sleeve of her jumper to show him all her little hairs standing on end. “Don’t be surprised if your anxiety starts shooting through the roof. They’re like happiness suckers.”

“Kinda remind me of dementors.”

“I’m pretty sure that’s where the idea came from for those,” Andie agreed. “Except I don’t have a fancy spell to banish them away or whatever. Or a wand.”

“Honestly, when you first told me you were a witch, I was waiting for you to drop one out of your sleeve at any moment.”

Andie barked out a startled laugh as she gave a soft kick to his shin. “Shut up.”

~*~*~*~*~

They skipped their walk that night, for fear of the wraith getting ballsy in the darkness of the night. Harry suggested a day time stroll after he got back from class on Thursday instead, in the hour they had before the sun started to really set. Andie agreed, and they spent the rest of their night curled up on the couch, watching The Nightmare Before Christmas with Halloween only a week away.

By the time Thursday came around, Andie was in a good mood because Sarah had called her earlier in the day to let her know she’d gotten her hands on two more of the ingredients for the spell, and Andie had gotten word from that apothecary in Romania that the obsidian had come in and was ready for delivery. She’d arranged a portal transfer for Friday morning and couldn’t wait to get her hands on it.

When Harry retuned from class just twenty minutes after her, she greeted him with a kiss and pulled him straight back through the door, Harry chuckling at her exuberance. Andie chatted to him about the Halloween party Niall was throwing on Saturday that they’d agreed to attend, as well as the progress they were making in getting all the things they needed for the spell as they walked out of the flat and onto the road. Harry was just as glad as she was that there was only twelve more items on their list after just a little less than two weeks of searching, and one of the items was all the elder wood needed for the pentagram. It was shaping up nicely, and Andie was more confident that everything would pan out alright once the time came.

They stayed on populated city streets where people were still walking around to classes and milling about around shoppes and restaurants, just to be safe. The wraith was still just as close as it had been when they’d gone to dinner on Monday, but it seemed to be more passive now, abated by the extra hulking Andie had padded onto Harry’s warding spell. She wished there was something stronger she could put up around him, but hopefully it would only be another two weeks before they got him free of this thing.

Forgoing a proper dinner, they stopped by the cafe and bakery down the street to get tea and pastries and took them back to the flat. They set up a little faux picnic on the coffee table, sitting on their bums with their backs against the couch. Andie lit her fall candles around the space, filling the room with the comforting scent of cinnamon and apples.

They were quietly munching side by side for a few moments, not really feeling the need to fill the silence. Andie could feel Harry looking at the side of her face as they ate, but she figured he was lost in thought more than anything, so she was a little surprised when he spoke up.

“What are we doing?”

Andie looked at him, furrowing her eyebrows. “Eating?” she offered, more than a little confused.

Harry shook his head and huffed in frustration, though he realised the misunderstanding was due to his own poor word choice.

“No, I mean, like, what are we doing together? Like, I’m not sure if we’re dating or you’re my girlfriend or we’re just fucking or what.”

Andie’s mouth popped open in a little ‘O’ shape when she understood what it was he was getting at. “Oh, got it. Um…” She looked between Harry and the carpet before slowly putting down the fork full of white rice and chicken curry she’d had halfway to her mouth when he’d surprised her.

“I’m not trynna push for anything, I’m just curious how I’m supposed to act with you around our friends. We’ve got that party Saturday at Niall’s, and I’m just not sure.”

It was quiet, save for the sound of Bub licking his paws on the lowest tier of his cat tree. Andie was looking into Harry’s swirling green eyes, trying to decide what the best course of action was in that moment. She didn’t want to lie to him, but she wasn’t sure if either of them were ready for the truth, either. Although, who was she kidding? She was sure Harry would be elated by the truth. The only question really was whether or not she was willing to take that risk and expose Harry to her life that much more. Though, she supposed he was already in as deep as any mortal she’d seen. She reckoned she owed it to both of them to be honest.

“I uh…really like you, Harry, obviously. I have for pretty much as long as I’ve known you. I just never did anything about it because…ya know. The witch thing.”

“But I know about that now.” There was a sort of hopeful glint in Harry’s eyes, one that Andie was really glad she wasn’t about to crush.

“Yeah,” she nodded. “So my reasons for staying just a friend don’t exist anymore. I’m still worried about you, but you’ve handled all this the last few weeks remarkably well.”

“That still doesn’t answer my question,” Harry teased, that smirk the mad her all soft and infuriated her at the same time pulled up on his lips.

She rolled her eyes. “I’d really like to be in a relationship with you, if that’s what you want, too.”

“Andromeda, are you asking me to be your boyfriend?”

She shot him a withering look, daring him to make her rescind her proposition.

Harry snickered before reaching over to cradle the back of her neck with his hand, pulling her closer to him. He pressed a hard, closed-mouth kiss to her lips, smiling.

“I accept.”

“Wanker.”

~*~*~*~*~

Harry and Andie were already in Niall’s small kitchen before they saw the host amongst the throng of bodies already in the flat. Niall saw Harry immediately, his head of dark curly hair significantly taller than anybody else’s. Niall slung his arm around his friends shoulders, a little confused about his billowy, cream coloured shirt and strange trousers until he saw Andie standing on his other side, and everything made sense.

Niall started cackling, his head dropping back on his shoulder. “Oh God, this is great. I imagined you’d come dressed as Morticia or summat.”

Andie rolled her eyes at him. The choice to come as Ariel from The Little Mermaid hadn’t been an easy one, but Harry had pretty much begged her after she’d tried the costume on at the shoppe. He’d claimed her hair colour was perfect with it and that it would be great since no one would expect it from her. She had agreed that it would be pretty fun to be this girly, cute princess, something so opposite of her typical style. So, when she’d gotten dressed that evening, she’d been a little excited at seeing her in something that wasn’t her typical wardrobe. Harry had been appropriately shocked and giddy when he saw her once she emerged from the bathroom, especially with her face done up softly. He’d assured her he liked her how she normally presented herself, but it was novel to see her like she was that night.

Niall took a moment to cackle a little bit more before darting off to get them drinks. He returned only a minute or two later with two red cups, nearly full to the brim with some lightly tinged pink liquid. Andie was almost sure it was fruit punch before Niall completely watered it down with whatever liquor he put into it. When she took a sip, she knew for sure that it was about eighty-five percent rum and the rest of was fruit juice. One would probably be her limit for the night. It was never a good idea for a young witch to alter her senses while in a public place.

Harry, however, had no such qualms. He was a young college guy, ready and willing to let loose at the drop of a hat. And that was exactly what he was doing.

They were there only an hour before Andie realised that Harry was well on his way to being absolutely shit-faced. She noticed about half an hour in that his cup was never empty, but he was getting increasingly more giggly and droopy-lidded. She was sure Niall was behind the constant refills, and she didn’t want to reprimand either of them, but from previous experience, she knew Harry did not have the same tolerance that the Irishman did. She never got a chance to grab Niall and tell him to go easy on Harry’s next refills—or they’d be on their way to A & E before the end of the night—before she lost sight of her boyfriend. One second she had her eyes on him, hanging out with some of his other friends by the kitchen, then she’d looked around to try to find Niall, and when she looked back, Harry was gone.

A cursory glance over the room turned up nothing, which didn’t concern her much. Perhaps he’d gone to the restroom or disappeared into the crowd huddled in the kitchen.

However, after a solid five minutes, Andie started to get antsy, a sinking feeling settling in her stomach. She threw another look over the room, came up short, and then made her way to the hall where she knew Niall’s only restroom was located. Maybe he had finally succumb to the alcohol and was getting sick. That’s what she kept telling herself to try to keep herself calm.

She finally squeezed her way through the living room and to the hall. She knocked on the restroom door, calling out Harry’s name. When she received a female voice back, telling her she’d be out in a moment, Andie quickly moved on, down towards Niall’s room. Maybe Harry had went in to have lie down. Something was telling her that wasn’t the case, though.

Andie knocked on the door and pressed her ear close to the door to try to hear any type of activity on the other side. The only thing she could hear was what sounded like a very upset cat, so she opened the door just enough to peek her head in and look around. The room was empty, aside from Niall’s cat, Oreo, that was stood up on his desk, back arched, spitting and hissing and howling, eyes trained on the sliding door in Niall’s room that led to the small balcony that faced the pool area in the center of his flat building.

“What’s wrong, babe?” Andie cooed, stepping in and closing the door behind her to prevent anybody following her in. “You see another cat on your turf? I’ll go shoo ‘em off.” Andie reached out to try to calm her down, approaching from the front so she wouldn’t startle when Andie ran her finger over the top of Oreo’s head. However, the cat made no move to look away from the glass door, only seeming to get more worked up.

Andie finally turned to look over her shoulder to see what it was that had her so amped, and when she saw Harry stood out there, she gasped.

Harry had his back pressed up against the glass, seeming to be barely holding himself up, his knees bent and his head slumped back. She couldn’t see his face, but she didn’t need to in order to know what was happening. Because she could see the wraith hovering just on the other side of the railing, the blank darkness of its face seeming to take on a sinister glow. A hazy, pearlescent stream of energy connected its face to Harry’s, the physical embodiment of the force it was drawing from its victim.

It took Andie only a split second to turn on her heel and make her way to the door. She pushed the door open with a flick of her wrist, letting a rush of wind gust into the room. Andie felt a rush of energy and adrenaline surge through her veins as she flung her hand out, pushing the wraith away in a way that she had never managed before without casting an actual spell. It was like a gust of wind erupted from her palm and blew it back a few meters, severing whatever control it had on Harry.

He slumped to the ground, obviously dazed as he blinked hard and looked around, eyes trying extra hard to focus on Andie when he finally spotted her. She was sure she looked like a frightened mess. She’d never been so close to something so dark before and it was causing a chill to worm its way under her skin. She grabbed Harry by his elbow and pulled him up, keeping her free palm up and extended out from her, keeping the wraith at bay. A bolt of light was raying out from her hand. She wasn’t sure what exactly it was, but she was just glad it made the wraith wary and keep its distance.

“You’ve gotta get up, love,” Andie urged, using all her strength to haul him up off the ground. “We’ve gotta get back inside. I need to get you back to my flat.”

“‘m so tired,” Harry mumbled, seeming to try to push himself up by his hands, but he was having a hard time maintaining his balance. She knew the wraith had seized an opportunity to start harvesting Harry’s life force, and it wasn’t helped by his state of inebriation.

“I know, Harry, but you need to get up. Fuck, just crawl inside for all I care.”

Harry hummed and bobbed his head lazily. He managed to get his legs under him and slithered his way past Andie, into the safety of Niall’s room. Andie was already summoning a portal under her breath as she slid inside, closing the door behind her and throwing the lock. That really wouldn’t keep a persistent wraith out, but it gave her a sense of security that she needed in that moment.

The shimmering veil of the portal emerged on the door of Niall’s closet. Harry was slumped over on the wall next to it, watching with hazy eyes as is swirled in its magnificent rainbow pattern of colours. Andie leaned down and pretty much shoved him through it before stepping through herself, stumbling over his prone body in the entrance of her flat. She waved her hand over her mirror to close it before sagging to the floor beside her very unconscious boyfriend. Traveling via portal was already pretty trying on a mortal body, but mix that with his run in with the wraith and the copious amounts of alcohol he’d consumed through their night, and he was down for the count. Andie’s fears were only mildly assuaged by the steady, rhythmic rise and fall of his shoulders with every breath that he took.

She considered leaving him in the entrance with a pillow and a blanket, not wanting to disturb him, but she could only imagine how traumatised he’d be to wake up in the middle of the night on the cold wood floor, by himself, after the ordeal he’d gone through earlier.

So, with a sigh, she stood and grabbed him under his arms and started dragging him to her bedroom, glad for her unobstructed smooth floors, allowing him to just glide along in the soft material of his costume. Getting him up into the bed was a bit of a challenge, but luckily he roused just long enough to haul himself into the bed, and Andie had an easy enough time taking his shoes and trousers off before tucking the blankets up around him.

She sat with a tired huff beside him, rubbing her hands over her eyes. She remember belatedly about the makeup on her face, but she was past the point of really caring. She just wanted to curl up in bed beside him and sleep for the rest of her existence. Alas, she had to be responsible, considering she was mostly to blame for Harry being in this situation in the first place.

Andie fished her phone out of the waistband of her mermaid tail skirt, happy that it had somehow stayed pressed against her skin with the excitement of the night. She pressed the first name that popped up on her recent call log and waited impatiently for them to answer.

“I realise it’s Halloween, but some of us are old and like to sleep.”

“Sarah…”

Andie could immediately hear the shift in Sarah’s demeanour at the defeated sound in her voice. “What happened?”

~*~*~*~*~

It took the help of Mitch and Sarah for Harry to finally wake the next day.

If there was any question that the wraith had got its share of Harry the night before, there was none now. The only assurance Andie had that Harry wasn’t on the verge of death was the steady rise and fall of his chest as he breathed deep, like he was peacefully sleeping.

Mitch and Sarah walked through her portal at eight that morning after a semi-frantic call Andie had placed to them only minutes before when Harry still hadn’t woken up. He was the early riser out of the two of them, no matter the circumstance, so Andie was appropriately concerned.

Mitch had worked his magic, having been trained in magical healing. He’d set up a mini apothecary on Andie’s bedside table, liquids and powders of all sorts laid out. Andie watched in a daze as he did whatever potion-making he was trained to do, all her thoughts on whether or not Harry would wake and what on earth she was going to do if he didn’t.

She was a wreck.

Mitch had eventually sent her out of the room, fed up with her constant pacing and her concerned looks. Sarah had corralled her into the kitchen, offering to make her a cuppa so she would sit down and chill out. She assured her that Harry was in the best hands possible and it was just going to take him a bit to get his energy back up from whatever bad juju the wraith had imparted.

“You really love him, don’t you?” Sarah asked after they’d sat together in silence for several minutes. It was the first time Andie hadn’t heard a teasing in her friend’s voice when she was talking about Andie’s secret feelings for her best friend.

That was the first time Andie met Sarah’s eyes that morning. She swallowed hard before answering,” Yeah, I really do.”

Mitch emerged from the room a half hour later, closing the door gently behind him.

“I’ve done what I can for now. He should be awake in the next hour or so.”

So they waited. Sarah turned on Andie’s telly and found some mindless reruns of Call the Midwife to play in the background as she flitted around the kitchen, preparing breakfast for all of them. Andie was glad that Sarah was so comfortable in her flat, because there was no way she was up to being a good host that morning. She couldn’t seem to pull her mind away from the boy laying unconscious in her bedroom.

Finally, around ten that morning, there was a stirring from behind her closed door, followed by a groan. Andie was out of her seat like a shot, already opening her door by the time Mitch and Sarah even got themselves out of their place on her couch.

“Harry?” Andie asked delicately, poking her head in at first and then completely stepping through the doorway when she saw he was awake and attempting to sit up in bed. She made her way to his side, helping him to prop himself up against the headboard. “How’re you feeling?”

“Really fuckin’ exhausted,” he huffed, slumping back against the new support. “What the fuck happened?”

“The wraith got too close last night. Started doin’ it’s…thing.” She grimaced as what little colour he had gained quickly drained from his face. “I found you. You’re gonna be pretty tired for a while, though.”

“That means no class or work until you’re back to one hundred percent,” Mitch told him, leaning in the doorway. “I’ve already forged some doctor notes to get you out of stuff for awhile.”

“And it would probably be best you stay here or with Andie until the next full moon. Now that it’s gotten close, it probably won’t be satisfied lingering at a distance anymore,” Sarah added.

“At home with my girlfriend and no responsibilities for three weeks? What a hardship,” Harry groaned sarcastically, flashing Andie a cheeky grin when she rolled her eyes playfully.

“We’ll leave you guys for now. Ring if you need us,” Sarah said, parting with a soft smile.

Mitch hung back. “Just wanted to let you know that Stevie got her hands on that crystal we need. Think there’s only four things left on our list now.”

Andie nodded. “Thanks, Mitch. What’s left?”

“The wood, which I’m gonna go out and gather the rest of today. Sarah’s got a good lead on the Bauhinia from a Japanese coven, and your mom is going next week to arrange to have a local farmer provide us with a goat.” Andie tried hard to suppress her shudder over the mention of the goat. Poor thing. Thankfully, Harry was too tired and out of it to really put together why they would be needing a live goat.

“What’s the last part?” Harry asked, sounding like he was already drifting off again.

“You,” Mitch stated simply. He turned to Andie. “I left a healing potion in your bathroom. Give him a tablespoon every eight hours or so. You can mix it with food if he can’t handle the taste. Hopefully he’ll regain most of his strength in the next week.”

Mitch saw himself out after Andie thanked him again and she heard both him and Sarah step back through the portal, leaving the flat quiet.

Andie turned to Harry. “I’m gonna go to campus tomorrow and drop of your doctor note. You’ll be safe in the flat for that time.”

Harry shook his head, brows furrowed and his eyes darting back and forth like he was searching for something, though he was staring at various points on the ceiling. “I can’t believe I just…walked outside. I don’t even remember making the decision to walk out there.”

She grabbed his shin through the blankets, offering a comforting weight. “It’s what a wraith does, Harry. It entices you into vulnerability in order to get to you. Not to mention, you were absolutely sloshed. Just a bad combination all around.”

“Safe to assume the blaring headache is from the hangover, then?”

Andie chuckled softly. “Yeah. Want some paracetamol?”

“Please? And somethin’ small to eat? Gonna throw up if I take painkillers on an empty stomach.”

Andie patted him on the leg before going to the kitchen to make him some toast and grab the tablets. She came back with both and a glass of water, and some of Harry’s colour seemed to have come back.

“Get all that down and go back to sleep. Gonna be doin’ a lot of that until you get your health back up.”

“Don’t wanna be lazy,” Harry argued, his eyelids already drooping and his form already slumping back into the little throne of pillows he’d made around himself to stay propped up.

“You’re not bein’ lazy,” Andie assured. “You’re lettin’ your body heal. Now hush, and close your eyes. I’ll come join you in a bit.”

Harry was asleep before Andie closed the door behind her.

~*~*~*~*~

The next weeks leading up to the full moon were full of getting Harry back to his normal self and making all the final arrangements for their ritual. Harry slept pretty much nonstop for three days, aside from getting up to use the restroom and eat, and Andie made him shower once. By the fourth day, he was able to stay up for a few hours at a time and made it out onto the couch to watch the telly and keep Andie company while she was getting stuff together for the full moon. By the end of the weekend he was staying up all day with a short nap some time after lunch. The day he was finally awake before Andromeda was the day that she knew he had made it through in one piece.

Andie had gotten her mom to add an extra layer to the protective ward around her flat in order to keep the wraith out. There wasn’t a day that went by after the situation at the party that she didn’t see it lingering outside of her windows and the front door of her flat when she left occasionally to go the shoppes or show her face enough in class to not make her professors overly suspicious of her absence.

Harry had been relatively quiet about all of the preparations Andie had been doing, just casting an observant eye. It wasn’t until the full moon was five days away that Harry finally started asking questions. His most pressing one, however, was what the live goat was for. It was the question Andie was dreading the most, but she knew he’d have to be told beforehand anyway. It wasn’t something that you dropped on a person the day of the ritual.

“Part of the ritual is having you bathe in fresh goat blood while we do the incantation.”

The blood drained from Harry’s face, and he swallowed hard over the presumed bile that rose in his throat. He eventually licked his lips and nodded. “Awesome.”

“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you earlier. I didn’t want to freak you out unnecessarily.”

“No, I get it. I’m glad I only have five days to anxiously wait instead of a month.”

“Just close your eyes and pretend it’s a nice bath.”

He shot her a look that said he definitely wasn’t amused.

That was the most he’d asked about what was happening. When Andie had asked him if he wanted to know all the steps of the spell, he’d shook his head and told her he trusted her. That had simultaneously made soft butterflies fill her stomach as well as leave a heavy feeling in her chest. While she was very flattered that he trusted her so much—essentially with his life—, she was realistically wary of how everything was going to turn out. It was a daunting prospect.

In the few remaining days leading up to the spell, Harry was more clingy than normal. While he had always been the lovey, touchy type, he practically never left Andie’s side while they were in the flat together. She was sure he was getting stir crazy from being cooped up for so long, and she didn’t mind his undivided attention. But she was worried about his mental state, and she wondered if he was acting like this because he was scared of what would be happening that Friday night. She wanted to comfort him, reassure him that it would all be fine in the end, but she couldn’t lie to him. She didn’t know what was going to happen since she’d never done this before. Stevie had done her best to assure them that she’d seen this spell performed successfully once before. Andie didn’t necessarily like those odds, but considering the spell had only been done a handful of times in the history of witches, she supposed one successful account was better than nothing.

Friday morning, Andie woke up to the startling but very pleasant sensation of Harry’s face buried between her thighs, not yet at her center, but laving his tongue and teeth at her inner thighs, his thumbs teasing at the band of her knickers. He waited until he knew she was awake before pulling them aside and losing himself in the taste and smell of her. She came quicker than she ever had before, and she didn’t hesitate to flip Harry on his back and ride him until they were both sated and sweaty and in terrible need of a shower.

They lazed around until the sun began to barely set. They needed to meet the rest of their little group in the forest before the sun went down in order to set up their space while they still had daylight. The height of the spell wouldn’t be performed until the moon was high in the sky, but it was imperative that everything be in its proper place before that time came.

Andie made sure to bring lots of towels and heavy, weighted blankets for after Harry emerged from the blood bath. It was nearing the end of November, and the temperature was getting nearly to freezing in the middle of the night. While they blood itself would most likely keep him warm while he was in it, he’d freeze his arse off as soon as he stepped out. Andie didn’t want to traumatise him any more than necessary.

They walked hand in hand to the meeting spot in the forest, Andie keeping a wary eye on the wraith as it followed them, at a distance that was much too close for comfort. Although he couldn’t physically see it, she could tell Harry was aware of its presence, too, if not by the guarded stance Andie kept, then the way he shivered every few seconds while perspiring was a good indication. Even though they weren’t in direct contact, the wraith was still doing what it could to suck as much energy from him as it could.

Harry’s eyes were drawn to the large black boulder that had been the center of this whole occurrence. He hadn’t realised this would be the spot they'd be performing the ritual, Andie figured. It was the best place for it, though. The power it offered combined with the innate energy Andie and her mother possessed was their best bet and this going the way it was supposed to. They weren’t taking any chances by performing it somewhere where the harnessable energy was low.

When they got there, everybody but Sarah was already there. When Andie asked after her, Mitch nodded his head in the direction opposite where Harry and her had walked in, and she saw Sarah walking with a goat on a lead. She was sort of sad to have to drain the poor thing of its life, but they would be returning the carcass to the farmer so that he could do what they normally did to slaughtered animals. They would have just flushed the blood down the drain anyway, so it was no hardship on them to lend it out for a night.

Harry pressed his lips together tight when he caught sight of the animal, but he quickly diverted his gaze and watched as Stevie and Mitch worked together to arrange all the elder branches into a pentagram, the leaves and flowers stripped. Those were gathered in a bowl that would be used to mix into the bath Harry would be sat in for the ceremony. The elder tree had a sort of tie to earth in some mythology’s, so he wasn’t surprised by its use in this ritual.

“Oh good, I forgot to tell you to bring some stuff to keep him warm. Glad you remembered,” Stevie noted when she saw Andie with the stack of folded blankets and towels in her arms.

“Is there anything I can help with?” Harry asked, watching as everyone else started going around the pentagram and setting out items.

“Place one of these at each point, just inside the outer circle,” Stevie told him, handing him the black candles they’d made out of the beeswax and powdered obsidian. “They act as a spiritual barrier between you and the wraith.” She turned to Andie with a look of slight sorrow in her eyes. “You’re gonna have to drop your wards on him before we get started.”

Andie swallowed, hating the reminder. “Yeah, I know. Waitin’ until the last possible minute.”

Stevie nodded her understanding before going back to the satchel of goodies they were using in the spell. Harry went off to do as he was told, having a quiet conversation with Mitch, who was finishing the last bits of the pentagram, that Andie couldn’t hear.

Andie’s mum came up beside her as she was reading over the spell instructions one more time.

“If you don’t end up marrying this boy after all this, I will be very disappointed,” Annabel muttered to her as she grabbed more things out of the bag.

Andie looked at her mom from the corner of her eye, not raising her head from the spell book. “Thought you didn’t like him?”

“I don’t like that he’s mortal,” her mother sniffed indignantly. “Don’t like that you’ll be muddying our bloodline, mostly.”

“Who said I was having kids?” Andie asked.

Her mother gasped, affronted. She smacked her daughter’s arm when she smirked at her.

“Kidding. Kidding.”

“Anyway. Aside from him being a mortal, I do actually like him. And I assume you must, too, considering the lengths you’re going to in order to save his life.”

Andie was quiet for a long moment, not taking her eyes off the words printed on the page. Finally, when she was sure her mother was going to give up and walk away, she said, in a low voice, “I love him. There’s nothing I wouldn’t do for him.”

She felt her mum rest a hand on her shoulder. It was gentle and loving in a way that Andie hadn’t gotten from her many times before. “I know. And that’s why I’m very proud of you for doing this. You’re going to make a very strong Head of Council one day.”

~*~*~*~*~

The butterflies filling Andromeda’s stomach seemed to take on a rapid flight as the moon rose in the darkness of the night, it’s brilliance and luminosity beaming down on their little clearing. She felt the power it leant surge through her veins, making the tips of her fingers and toes tingle like they were flowing with static electricity. The hairs on the back of her neck and her arms stood on end. Everything about the circumstances of the night filled Andie and her witch counterparts with nearly unbridled power.

“We need to begin,” Annabel called out, her eyes trained on the ever-rising moon.

Andie nodded and grabbed Harry’s hand to lead him to the center of the pentagram where a tub was set up, ready to hold Harry’s body and the blood sacrifice. She kept a towel with her, ready to offer it to Harry to cover him when he inevitably had to strip down in the briskness of the night.

“I’m gonna take the ward off of you now,” she told him quietly, helping him out of his jacket and draping it over her arm. “I have to do it before we perform the sacrifice. You’ll be vulnerable until we light the candles, but we’ll all be doing what we can to keep it away until then.”

Harry nodded his consent while he kicked out of his shoes and began peeling off the rest of his clothes. Andie offered him the towel she’d brought along to cover him before he took off his pants, poor thing already shivering in the cold. She wished she could do something to help keep him warm, but there’s couldn’t be any enchantments on him while the spell was being performed.

He slipped his pants off under the towel and handed them to Andie. He let out a breath he seemed to have been holding and looked at her. Acting on impulse, Andie reached a hand out to clasp around his neck and pulled him toward her. She placed her lips on his, letting his sweet, minty taste wash over her tastebuds as her tongue swept into his mouth. Harry bit gently at her lower lip.

Andie pulled her mouth away. They couldn’t waste time, but she couldn’t go into this spell without kissing him. It helped to boost her confidence, and she was hoping it was doing the same for Harry.

“Okay,” Andie sighed.

She looked back at her mother, who had the unsuspecting goat by the lead. Annabel walked it forward until she was beside Andie and Harry, waiting for Andie’s cue to start the ritual. Andie nodded to her before reaching her hands out over Harry, palms out. It was easier to eliminate the ward that she’d placed on him than it had been to place it, so with a few muttered words and less than a minutes time, Harry was as vulnerable as the day he was born. The five witches immediately took up a low stream of chanting, placing a temporary protection around the pentagram to keep the wraith at a safe distance until the obsidian candles were lit at the five points.

Both Harry and Andie looked away as her mother pulled out a sharpened blade made from the bone of wolf and pulled it with ease against the goat throat right above the basin. Harry jumped at the strangled bleat right before it went silent. Annabel magically pulled the blood from the animal until it was bled dry. She nodded her go-ahead to Andie.

“Step in,” she told Harry. She helped him maintain his modesty until he had submerged himself, taking the towel from him. Harry shuddered, both from the cold and from the very fact that he was sat in a bath full of blood. Andie summoned the mixture of herbs and the leaves and fruit from the harvested elder branches and sprinkled them into the bath until the bowl was empty.

She next summoned the large orb of alexandrite Stevie had acquired. “You need to hold this submerged under the blood for the entirety of the spell.”

Harry nodded and took it in both palms, watching it slowly disappear under the liquid crimson.

“Okay, we’re going to begin now,” Annabel announced, her eyes on the moon. It was nearly to its peak in the sky.

Andie nodded and backed out of the pentagram, giving Harry one last reassuring look over her shoulder.

Andromeda took her place at the head of the pentagram, the point that was oriented north. She took a deep, steadying breath as she look up, spying the wraith hovering a a few feet in the air above where Harry was submerged in the tub. The only thing keeping it at bay before the beginning of the spell was Mitch and Sarah chanting steadily, creating a temporary barrier. They had to time it perfectly between the cessation of the warding charm and the onset of the new incantation that would—hopefully—banish the wraith back to whatever hell hole it climbed out of and sever its tie to Harry.

Stevie caught Mitch and Sarah’s eyes, ready to count them down to stop as Andie got ready to begin reciting the new words. With a steady countdown from three, Andie took up the new incantation just a split second after Mitch and Sarah stopped. No magic could be present and active while the second one started, otherwise it would render their efforts useless. One draw back to magic: it didn’t do well to overlap major spells.

In the second between their chanting, the wraith surged forward, ready to dive straight toward Harry and begin its quick harvesting process. Andie’s heart jumped in her chest as she watched the cloaked figure race towards her boyfriend, vulnerable in the blood-filled tub, it’s weathered stumps of hands outstretched, ready to grasp Harry to it to quicken the process. Andie wanted to scream her protest, let anyone in hearing range hear her anguish, but she knew that the real way to keep Harry safe was to begin the incantation.

She raised her arms out to her side, palms up to draw the power of the moon and the soles of her feet tingled as the energy of the earth and the nearby boulder of obsidian. With a rush of breath, Andie started reciting the words she’d memorised in the weeks leading up the spell. Words that translated to a temporary opening of the portal between worlds, creating a tear in the fabric of space to access whatever depraved dimension from which the wraith had been drawn.

Her words felt like they created a tangible ripple in the atmosphere around her and she watched in relief as the wraith jolted back, less than a meter from having made contact with Harry. The wicks of the candles lighted simultaneously, taking up that magical flame that never moved or flickered.

The rest of the witches that made up the other four points of the pentagram began to chant in tandem with Andie after the first two lines, having also committed the words to memory. Andie felt the energy surge through her as they joined in, a buzz resonating in her chest as the brightness of the moon seemed to amplify. She could physically see the shining purple of her eyes illuminate the patches of grass in front of her.

Andie watched in wonder as the blood in the basin around Harry began to boil, rolling steadily. Harry looked down anxiously around him, wary of the sudden movement of the medium that held him. He didn’t look like he was in pain, so Andie’s own anxiety subsided for the time being.

The wind seemed to suddenly whip up around them, everyone’s hair lifting and seeming to be tugged in opposing directions. Andie was overwhelmed by the rush of it in her ears, unable to hear herself or the others chanting over the sound. It seemed to be creating a vacuum, Andie having to force the words out over the lack of oxygen suddenly in her lungs, like it was being sucked from her body from the force of the wind. Her rising panic over the sensation of suffocating was seeing Harry, completely unaffected by whatever was happening on the outer edges of the pentagram.

Suddenly and violently, the wind ceased and the flames of the candles went out, and a rogue cloud covered the moon, casting an impenetrable darkness over the clearing. The blood in the basin stilled. Andie’s heart sank, having the awful feeling that the spell wasn’t working, despite their continued chanting. She let her volume die down until she was just barely mumbling the words, looking first to her mother for reassurance. When Annabel just shrugged, her lips still forming the words of the spell, Andie looked to Stevie, who was already looking back at her. Stevie nodded her head, indicating that they were all to keep up the incantation, despite the sudden lack of activity.

She was terrified that something was wrong. She couldn’t live with herself if something bad happened to Harry if they had somehow performed the ritual wrong. That overwhelming dread of failure pitted her stomach and made her chest tight, like she was nearly to the point of tears. Witches didn’t cry in situations of stress, though, and she was push on until the end.

Even if the end meant the end of Harry. It would wreck her, but she would push on.

With the beginning of the next verse of words, Andie’s stomach dropped with the sudden sensation of floating. She continued her stream of words as she looked down, confirming that her feet were suddenly off the ground, and the distance between the two was ever increasing. Andie wasn’t afraid of heights, per se, but she wasn’t really willing to trust her safety of levitation when she wasn’t the one controlling it.

However, she didn’t really have a choice.

She felt a little better when she stopped rising, her feet about fifteen feet above the ground. She kept up her spell as she looked down at everyone else, still planted firmly in the earth. Despite her physical disconnection with one of her energy sources, she could feel and increased jolt of energy, and suddenly a splintering light shattered the dark veil of the sky. It nearly blinded Andie in its brilliance, and it radiated a heat like nothing she’d ever experienced before. The light that began as a shimmering white turned into a crimson red interspersed with flashes of yellow as the split in the sky broadened. Andie realised with a start that it was the fabric of space and time between dimensions that she was witnessing, tearing in order to suck back in the thing which it had birthed.

It was working.

Upon everyone’s realisation of what was happening, their enthusiasm for the spell increased, and they were all nearly shouting with the force of their words. Andie’s heart beat raced in her chest, and at first she thought it was just her excitement at the prospect of this all actually working and her and Harry being able to go back to their normal lives.

However, she realised after a moment it was caused by some sort of energy line that connected her with the wraith, her end connected in her chest and its connected to the void of its face. The connection drug the wraith up so it was eye-level with Andie, the light shining in her eyes from her magic illuminating it’s darkness. With a gush of wind from magical origins that Andie could more feel than actually know, the head covering of the supernatural entity blew back, revealing dark void of its face. A scream bubbled in her throat at the completely overpowering feeling of despair that shrouded her. No one was meant to look a wraith in its face. To do so meant certain death.

Blood rushed in her ears, her heartbeat reverberating in her head. If she hadn’t trusted Stevie’s account of the spell she’d witnessed, she could have sworn that the wraith had attached itself to her and was now doing what it needed to completely drain her. And the force of her magic would be more power than a wraith knew what to do with, most likely leading to some destruction that no one was prepared for. She hoped to whatever gods could hear her that Stevie’s account was correct.

She could hear Harry screaming her name from down on the ground. She couldn’t see him, afraid to take her gaze from the being, but she knew he was going to try to scramble from the tub, ready and willing to do what he could to get to her. She couldn’t let him ruin the spell, though. They’d put so much into it, and they were close to the end. Andromeda could feel it.

Without breaking eye contact or ceasing her stream of incantation, Andie shot one hand down, forcing Harry back into the basin. She heard his muffled sound of protest but paid him no mind as the spell was coming to the end. She only had two lines of words left and she was praying that something happened.

In the last five words of the incantation, there was a loud ripping sound, so loud Andie was sure she’d have some hearing loss. The once meter long opening in the sky opened into a large gouge, at least fifteen feet in diameter. The light and heat it emitted nearly burned her skin, and she was sure she’d have the shadowed image of it burned on her retinas forever.

The wraith gave a low screeching sound, like it was in pain. Andie would have smiled if she could focus on anything but completing the spell.

Upon the last word falling from her lips, the light that had been emanating from the opening burst with light, spitting out what felt like acid on both Andie and the wraith. She screamed out her pain, finally able to express her feelings with the words of the spell complete. The sound that the wraith gave out was like that of a thousand dying animals, completely drowning out Andie’s sobs. She watched through squinted eyes as the dark mass crumpled in on itself, the dark cloak swallowing its body as the darkness of its being paled and splintered. In some far place of her mind, Andie mused that he sort of looked like Voldemort when Harry Potter had finally killed him. She would have chuckled if anything other than the crippling pain would process in her brain.

A sigh of relief seemed to be breathed by the universe when that rip in the sky sucked the wraith into its depths, another brilliant flash of light surging before closing back up with a pop, like there was a change of pressure.

All the energy seeped from Andie’s body, all of her going limp while still being held in the air by the remnants of the spell. She didn’t even have the energy anymore to scream her agony. Her head dropped onto her shoulder as she started to slip into unconsciousness. She wouldn’t let herself fall completely, too stubborn to let her lights go out without making sure for herself that Harry was alright.

She hardly noticed when she started floating back to the ground. There was barely a register of panicked voices and the feeling of a body catching her before she hit the earth. Above the din of anxiety, she could barely make out Stevie’s voice.

“Get her in the tub with Harry. Completely submerged.”

When the skin of her arms first touched the still-warm blood, she flinched, the sting of her wounds flaring. Harry shushed her, barely keeping in his own sobs. His heart hurt looking at her. Her skin was singed from the heat and there were blotches of deep burns where the universes had spat that…stuff on her. He placed his hand over his eyes as he lowered her head back into the blood.

Everyone seemed to hold their breath as Harry pulled her back up. They way Stevie had instructed them, it seemed like this was supposed to heal her of her injuries. It was supposed to be like the final soothing solve to finish out the spell.

Being submerged in blood didn’t seem to register with Andromeda. When her face parted the surface, Harry was a little taken with her beauty. Even covered in the blood of a slaughtered animal and pale in a way that he had never seen her, she was absolutely stunning. He was sure the effort she’d made to save his life clouded his view, but he didn’t mind.

And behind the haze he was on at seeing her gorgeous face, he registered that the burns that had been there the moment before were gone. All that was left was the perfect smoothness of her skin.

Slowly, Andie blinked her eyes open, and the smile that broke across Harry’s face hurt his cheeks. He gave a relieved chuckle and helped her wipe the blood from her eyes. Her eyes seemed to first focus on the moon that was just behind Harry’s head, and then his eyes, the glowing green warming her soul.

“Hi.”

Harry’s chuckle turned into a full laugh as he wrapped both his arms behind her back. “Hi, darling.”

“You’re okay?” she asked. Her voice was hoarse from all the yelling that she’d done while she was in pain.

Harry nodded. “I’m okay. Thanks to you. And your mum and your friends.”

A soft smile flitted to her face, like she was too tired to do much more. “Good.”

“I love you,” Harry blurted. He was surprised at his candid admission, but he didn’t regret it. He’d been wanting to tell her that since they’d met.

Andie reached an arm out to grip the back of Harry’s head. He knew exactly what she was requesting, so he quickly moved his face to hers, letting their lips brush. He wanted to be grossed out by them both being covered in blood (and he would be later), but he was much too happy to be holding her alive in his arms to care.

“I love you, too.”

#Harry Styles #harry styles fanfiction #harry styles one shot #harry styles oneshot #harry styles fanfic #harry styles angst #harry styles au #harry styles fluff #harry styles fic #harry styles smut #harry styles writing #halloween fic #witch!au #witch!ofc

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caesarontv · 5 years

Text

iwaoi fic recs

it’s occurred to me that i read a lot but i don’t read many actual books so. here we go:

posted: 31/08/19

updated: 20/09/19

– new phone who dis - meruemsthighs • completed • 57,747 • teen

Oikawa texts the wrong number when complaining about Ushijima, and then keeps texting Iwaizumi.

– read it and weep - unknown • completed • 14,075 • teen

Iwaizumi Hajime writes an abrasive critique of golden boy Oikawa Tooru's terrible self-help book. What happens afterwards is a testament to how horrible Iwaizumi's luck really is.

– drawn to you - SportsAnimeRuinedMyLife • completed • 16,248 • teen

Iwaizumi is a shoujo manga author, Oikawa definitely isn’t stalking him and Hanamaki and Matsuwaka manage to make falling in love look easy.

aka. the GSNK crossover that no one asked for

– let me count the ways - whiitemists • completed • 4,162 • general

“iwa-chan, how much do you love me?” “more than i can count on all of my fingers and toes.” “you wanna use mine?”

– dyspnea/arrhythmia - carafin • completed • 10,812 • teen

In which Iwaizumi Hajime is a junior doctor suffering through his medical rotation, and Dr. Oikawa Tooru is his insufferable mentor. Medical AU.

‘I heard your internal medicine rotation’s going to be at Miyagi Central Hospital,' Suga says, turning to Iwaizumi. 'Who’s your mentor gonna be?’

‘Dr. Oikawa Tooru,’ Iwaizumi replies, and barely has time to yank his body back as Suga chokes on and almost sprays out a mouthful of alcohol.

‘What is it,’ Iwaizumi says, feeling a little unnerved.

In response, Suga simply drags a pitcher of alcohol from across the table, and starts to tip more beer into Iwaizumi’s glass. ‘You’re going to need this,’ Suga says.

– Coffee King - oiivkawa • completed • 187,790 • explicit

“I’m in love,” Oikawa declared, succumbing to the warm embrace of his arms once more, burying his head deep within the confines.

“You’re dating someone? Oh shit, I didn’t know that,” Kuroo whistled.

“I wish,” Oikawa responded with a sigh, memory flashing back to the handsome stranger and his green eyes, warm complexion, and those arms –

“Oh, so it’s that kind of love. Alright, hit me. What’s his name?” Oikawa’s face twisted down in an offended glare. “You don’t know his name?” Kuroo asked carefully, lips teetering on the edge of a smile.

“Not yet, but I will. Mark my words, the next time he comes in here I’m going to get his name and his number,” Oikawa announced firmly.

“That is, if he comes back. You know, this could have been a one time thing,” Bokuto reminded unhelpfully.

“I take back what I said earlier. I’m firing you,” Oikawa deadpanned.

– 21 Again - project_ecto • completed • 72,237 • mature

Oikawa, setter of the national volleyball team, and Iwaizumi, a university teacher, are going through a divorce that the latter initiated. An unwise Oikawa thinks the only way to save their marriage is to stall the divorce, until he meets a mysterious stranger who transforms him into his 21-year-old self. So he becomes what most 21-year-olds are: a university student. One that enrolls specifically in Iwaizumi’s school.

Oikawa then embarks on a mission to find out where it all went wrong but as he interacts with 31-year-old Iwaizumi in his 21-year-old self, Oikawa discovers a few things that changes his course. Loosely based on 17 Again.

– Arrest me Officer - leurauxe • completed • 122,275 • general (although i probably wouldn't call it that)

‘Perhaps getting mugged at two in the morning isn’t such a bad idea’ Oikawa thinks as he eyes the world’s hottest policeman settled in the seat across from him.

In which Oikawa is a news reporter head over heels for a commanding police officer.

– Dinner and a Movie - rikke • completed • 11,010 • teen

As a good vice captain, Iwaizumi would do a lot for his volleyball club's success and general welfare, including, apparently, fake dating Oikawa.

– Shiver - Yuu_chi • completed • 16,703 • teen

Oikawa was always the brave one. Hajime just followed two paces behind.

– florals for spring? groundbreaking. - MissMairan • completed • 24,373 • teen

Tooru considers himself a good person. An amazing one, really. He's raised his son after being quite rudely left by the mother, and Shouyou's turned out pretty alright, if someone asked him. So, when Shouyou's principal calls, saying his son had gotten in trouble for fighting, Tooru does what any self-respecting, fashion-designing-father would do. He agrees with his son: that shirt really is ugly.

– you’re looking like you fell in love tonight - anyadisee • completed • 34,930 • teen

“So, let me see if I understood this correctly,” Hajime says, slow and careful like he’s still waiting for some kind of punchline. “You want me to help Oikawa Tooru, a guy I barely know, because your boyfriend owes him a favor?”

“And you owe me a favor,” Hanamaki adds helpfully.

“That doesn’t even make any sense!”

“Sure it does.” Hanamaki’s smile widens. “Issei and I are practically the same person by now, anyway, so whatever favor you owe me, you also owe him. And by repaying me, you are repaying him, and in turn he is repaying Oikawa. Think of it as, like, the transitive property of equality. A equals B equals C. A equals C.”

“I know what the transitive property of equality is,” Hajime snaps.

[in which iwaizumi pretends to be oikawa's boyfriend.]

– I Followed Fires - EclecticInkling • completed • 66,742 • teen

“When the time comes, it will take you to safety. Just look towards the east,” his mother had said. He hoped she was right. He needed all the safety and help he could get if he was going to win back his throne.

– Phone Home - ghostystarr • completed • 6,553 • general

Oikawa Tooru is currently orbiting Earth at 445 kilometers per minute, but falling in love with the voice in his ear makes it feel so much slower than that. AU Iwaoi.

– the river runs - tothemoon • completed • 11,919 • teen

At the start of the new year, and one whole year since their breakup, Oikawa Tooru starts a list of daily reminders, tips, and tricks called HOW TO FORGET ABOUT IWAIZUMI HAJIME, and he’s determined to make it stick.

—

This is a firsthand account of how to deal (and rather spectacularly, at that).

– all the words of time and space - kagshina • completed • 46,712 • teen

greys_alien: you should change your username to “addicted2bugs” greys_alien: yours is boring greys_alien: i can’t be friends with someone boring

Half an hour later, he gets a message from addicted2bugs.

Or, Tooru needs a friend, Hajime just so happens to be on a chat site at the right time, and neither of them can predict what's to follow.

– When You Wish Upon a Star - emerald1963 • completed • 31,975 • teen

Hajime has no idea how this situation is even possible, but he’s one hundred percent certain that it’s all Oikawa’s fault.

Oikawa blames the aliens.

The Iwaoi body swap fic that this fandom needs, if not the one it deserves.

– to be first, to be best - kittebasu • completed • 26,404 • teen

Hajime is apparently something of a masochist, and as he stares down at the tie-dyed AREA51 T-shirt in his hands, he thinks “I’m totally in love with this asshole, aren't I?”

– Tokyo Boy - Verbrennung • completed • 16,655 • explicit

“Oh no, Tooru-” but thankfully Makki doesn’t say anything other than that. They reach for their drinks in sync, and Tooru tips his glass to his oncoming emotional apocalypse in one last sardonic acknowledgement of his terrible life before they both take a long pull of their drinks because oh yes, he’s fucked. He has feelings for Iwaizumi Hajime, who probably has casual lovers just like him in every major city he visits on business. Oikawa is just his Tokyo Boy, just another pit-stop on Iwaizumi’s travels. ~ A story about longing, and how not even 5,487 miles, a sixteen-hour time difference, or a 'casual' label can stop a stubborn heart (or two?) from falling in love.

– page 305 of 304 - izayas • ongoing • 45,435 • teen

“…she called you ‘papa’,” iwaizumi managed.

oikawa just stared for a moment longer before relaxing in a smile. “yeah. cute, right? but you can call me ‘daddy’ if you want.”

– Like One of Your French Girls - jibrailis •. completed • 4,054 • explicit

"I, Oikawa Tooru, captain of the Aobajousai volleyball team and all-around specimen of charm and talent, am completely and 100% a virgin."

– Superhero-sized Heart - manamune • completed • 4,508 • general

Iwaizumi loathes the day he has to tell the story of how he met Oikawa, because then he's going to have to explain why he suddenly grabbed him by his collar with a crying four-year old boy trailing behind him while dressed as Batman on the hottest day of the year.

– Six-Month Lover - afuzzyowl • completed • 89,000 • explicit

Iwaizumi barks out a laugh. “I’m still trying to get over the fact that you made a PowerPoint presentation about why we should date.”

Oikawa doesn’t tell him the file has existed for the last twelve years, constantly receives updates, and that the original copy contained almost a hundred slides before he forced himself to get a grip.

Moments in Oikawa’s journey to win over his best friend’s love: the sad, the happy, and everything in between.

– The 5 Times Oikawa Woke Iwaizumi Up - CheekyBrunette • completed • 7,186 • general

... And the one time Iwaizumi woke Oikawa up instead.

– In April - hiuythn • completed • 28,782 • teen

Tooru dates people and it takes Hajime a while to figure out why he hates it. Like six years.

– Because You’re My Home in Human Form - noelre • completed • 2,257 • teen

The thing is, the Oikawa Tooru he knows is vulnerable on Sunday evenings. Fragile. Insecure. Not at all like the peacock prancing in broad daylight spreading its flashy wings. It’s this Oikawa Tooru he’s willing to wrap his arms around and keep him safe from all harm the world tries to throw at him.

– yellow white red (camellia/gardenia) - unknown • completed • 9,012 • teen

An impressively annoying young man starts frequenting Hajime's flower shop. It goes downhill from there.

– in defense of our overgrown garden - carafin • completed • 2,595 • general

From: Ushijima Wakatoshi To: Oikawa Tooru

Dear neighbour,

Congratulations on moving into this neighbourhood with Iwaizumi. I hope you will enjoy your stay here, and I apologise for not being able to greet you in person, as I am a very busy man.

As you might have noticed, I have also placed a pot of flowers next to your doorstep as a housewarming gift. It is a rue plant, traditionally meant to symbolise ‘regret’. I have expended great effort to procure this plant for you, as this is not a common flower you can find in your neighbourhood florist. The symbolism is entirely intentional.

I look forward to seeing you (and your boyfriend) around.

Sincerely, Ushijima Wakatoshi

– Only Fools Fall - oseltamivir_phosphate • completed • 126,760 • mature

Oikawa had always wanted to be an alpha like Iwaizumi. He hated being a beta – the lesser status, but not entirely the least. That was until he experienced his first heat during his second year in university, and he wonders if it's too late to turn back into a beta.

– How Icarus fell in Love with the Sun - tsukkkiii • ongoing • 44,669 • mature

Oikawa has to find a fiance within a week or he has to leave Japan and thus his successful career and his friends. Obviously the best idea is to knock on his new neighbor's door at 11 pm and ask, "Will you marry me?"

Kind of a The Proposal AU. (Plot different)

(presumably discontinued, it was last updated in 2016 lol)

– i want you, i hope you’ll come to me - unknown • completed • 15,638 • teen

oikawa tooru has never received a love letter, but he's written five of them

– here’s to taking what you came for - Frenchibi • completed • 3,294 • general

“So - isn’t it obvious?” Oikawa spins around to face Iwaizumi, gesturing to the poster. “To solve our financial crisis - we pretend we’re dating!”

Iwaizumi stares at him for a full five seconds - before he throws back his head and laughs.

– electric feel - falchion • completed • 59,018 • mature

“Hey there,” Iwaizumi said, giving Oikawa a wry smile. “I’m your new god.”

There were two things Oikawa could tell about this man at a glance. One, that this ‘Iwaizumi’ guy was an asshole, and that two, he wasn’t going to hide that fact. Feeling himself grow hot at the condescending tone this man was taking with him, Oikawa shot him a steely look before lowering himself into a half-assed bow. “I’m Oikawa Tooru, I’m looking forward to working together with you.”

Not.

IwaOi model!AU, in which Oikawa is a model and Iwaizumi is his overbearing manager.

– Conquering the Great King - SuggestiveScribe • completed • 105,691 • explicit

Iwaizumi blinked his gaze over to Oikawa, "Last time was supposed to be a one time thing," he said, voice low, lacking some conviction.

Oikawa's lips twitched into a smirk and he brought them hovering just over Iwaizumi's, "One time thing, Two time thing, what's it matter as long as it's not a Relationship thing?"

– the yellow room - ohhotlamb • completed • 14,260 • teen

“I told you, we broke up like six months ago. We’re not dating anymore.”

Hanamaki eyes him suspiciously. “You live together.”

“Yeah, so?”

“There are pictures of you two kissing stuck to your refrigerator.”

Hajime shrugs. “That wasn’t my idea. Anyways, they’re good pictures. Good lighting.”

– just hear me out - loveclouds • completed • 7,679 • teen

To stimulate Japan's low birthrates and take most of the guesswork out of dating, a beeper system was biologically developed in people's wrists, an audible confirmation to show romantic compatibility.

Iwaizumi's beeper has been going off for Oikawa since they've been kids. Oikawa's has only ever been silent.

– no sleep in the city - loveclouds • completed • 7,344 • teen

Along their journey to find Tokyo's best ramen, Iwaizumi finds himself asked again and again why Oikawa is still single.

– the courtship ritual of the hercules beetle - kittebasu • completed • 66,307 • teen

Tooru is pretty sure he could manage the mating habits of a mosquito. It’s the mating habits of people he can’t seem to get right.

bonus:

– national hot dad alliance is now calling... - dicaeopolis, owlinaminor • completed • 58,210 • general

Sawamura Daichi: What the fuck.

(Or, the captains' squad interactions that definitely happen outside of canon, presented in Skype chat form.)

#iwaoi #haikyuu!!#iwaizumi hajime #oikawa tooru #iwaoi fic recs

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primatechnosynthpop · 4 years

Note

I can't choose between "you should have said that yesterday" and "maybe in another world" soooo I'll let you decide :)

Hmm... what about... both? :3 (Since you didn't specify which characters to write about I'm just doing Hiro and Ando; they seem like a safe bet where you and I are concerned)

For a person with superhuman abilities, particularly one who has taken it upon himself to be a hero, it's amazing how quickly life can change. One day, you're having fun, and the next...

On Sunday morning, which thanks to differing time zones was evening for their Americans friends, Hiro and Ando were invited out for drinks at a bar in New York. Hiro was initially unsure if it would be responsible, since they had work the next day, but Ando talked him into it more easily than he would have liked to admit. (Ironically, when it was revealed that it was a karaoke bar, Hiro's enthusiasm increased while Ando's diminished.) Still, both of them had a great time, especially after a couple of drinks. Hiro even managed to talk Ando into singing a duet with him.

"Ohh, you're the best friend that I've ever had!" Hiro swayed slightly on his feet as he sang. "I've been with you such a long time, you're my sunshine..."

He leaned forward, tripping over his feet in the process; without missing a beat, Ando caught him and set him back on his feet while singing the next line of the song.

"And I want you to know that my feelings are true," he crooned, holding Hiro's gaze over the top of the microphone. "I really love you~"

Hiro's cheeks, already flushed from the alcohol, grew a darker shade when Ando batted his eyes at him. Giggling, he gave a playful swat at his friend's head, like a kitten batting at a piece of string, then turned to face the other bar patrons and struck a dramatic pose as he and Ando sang out in chorus: "Ohh, you're my best friend!"

When it was creeping up on 4 AM in eastern daylight time and the bar was closing, they bode a cheerful goodbye to their friends (all of whom were in varying stages of drunkenness) and Hiro teleported them back home. Although it was only mid-afternoon in Tokyo, Hiro was exhausted after such a raucous outing, and the two glasses of cherry wine he'd gulped down were beginning to churn most unpleasantly in his stomach and dull his higher senses. Groaning, he flopped facefirst onto his bed without even taking his shoes or jacket off. He probably would have immediately fallen asleep were it not for the sensation of Ando poking him in the side.

"Oi, Hiro, this is your bedroom."

"Mm? Yeah, it is," Hiro mumbled around the fabric of his pillowcase. "So what?"

"So, take me back to my own apartment before you fall asleep."

Hiro rolled over onto his side to face Ando, who was standing over him with his arms crossed. His expression was a mixture of frustration and bemusement. Hiro gave him a sleepy, half-lidded smile.

"It's not a problem," he said with a dismissive wave of his hand. "Just sleep here with me."

"What, like in your bed?" Ando shook his head. If he'd been thinking more clearly, Hiro might have better understood the strange look that came over his friend's face, or why he suddenly averted his eyes. "That's not happening."

"Don't sleep, then. Just go watch TV in the living room or something."

With that, Hiro rolled back over and closed his eyes. From behind him, he heard Ando sigh. A few seconds later, the weight of the bed shifted as Ando sat down next to him on the edge of the bed. He was silent for a moment before speaking up, his tone weary and almost vaguely wistful.

"That song we sang at karaoke tonight... apparently it's really about a married couple." For a moment, Hiro thought he felt something brush against his cheek, but when he opened his eyes and looked over his shoulder Ando had his hands folded in his lap and was fidgeting with them. "...Maybe in another world..."

"What?" Hiro asked, squinting in confusion. The cogs in his mind spun in an attempt to work out the meaning behind his friend's words, but those proverbial cogs were rusted from the alcohol in his system, and he had no idea what Ando was talking about. "You say strange things, Ando."

Ando laughed at that, and the bed's weight shifted again as he stood back up.

"Yeah, I guess I do," he said. "Good luck sleeping off the cherry wine, Hiro. I'll see you whenever you wake up."

The rest of Sunday afternoon and the following night passed in a haze. Hiro woke up at around 7 PM with a mild hangover and got up to make some instant ramen; he shared a bowl with Ando and they sat on the couch together watching reruns of an old shojo anime show until both of them fell back asleep.

When Monday morning rolled around, they were a little late getting into work. Hiro got into the shower first, and Ando yelled at him from outside to hurry up. They made each other turn around while they were getting dressed (Ando borrowed an outfit from Hiro, and it didn't fit him very well, but Hiro wasn't going to complain about the slight glimpse of midriff allowed by the hem of his top when Ando wore it). While heading out the door, Hiro stuffed a piece of toast into his mouth, and Ando joked that he looked just like the protagonist of the show they'd been watching the night before. They took the train across town to the office together, pressed snugly up against each other. With the alcohol out of his system and his mind clearer, Hiro was a bit flustered by their proximity, but somehow he found that he enjoyed it. There was something almost domestic about the whole situation, and for reasons he was currently unwilling to name, that brought him a thrill of excitement.

Kimiko arched an eyebrow at them when they arrived at Yamagato Industries, but she refrained from commenting. Hiro waved at his sister over his shoulder as he and Ando scurried down the halls to the Dial-A-Hero office. He let out a sigh of contentment as he slumped into the cushiony office chair at his desk. Ando pulled up his own office chair and took a glance at their answering machine to make sure they hadn't missed any calls before sitting down beside him.

"No calls?" Hiro asked, readying himself for the inevitable pang of disappointment that would be brought on by the response. As time went on, a few more people called to ask for their services, but they still only got one or two calls a day if they were lucky, and most of the jobs were small things that their clients just as easily could have called the fire department for.

"Actually, it looks like someone called us just a couple minutes ago," Ando said. He sounded surprised--understandable, considering the aforementioned rarity of people calling them. "But they didn't leave a message."

"Let's call them back," Hiro said, leaning eagerly across the desk to press the redial button on the answering machine. He lifted the phone off the hook and held it to his ear. It buzzed twice before someone picked up.

"Hello? Is this Dial-A-Hero? Oh, thank god you picked up!" The voice on the other end of the line sounded urgent; Hiro stiffened with alarm upon hearing shouting and what sounded like gunshots in the background. "Someone's robbing the bank! Quick, you have to stop them!"

"Who is it? What's happening?" Ando asked, leaning over to listen in on the conversation.

Hiro lowered the phone and put his hand over the mouthpiece to address his companion. "It's a bank robbery." Then, bringing the phone back up to his ear: "Where is the address? We'll be there in a moment!"

The person told them the address, and Hiro hung up the phone and grabbed his sword from where it was displayed on the wall. Putting his hand in Ando's, he squeezed his eyes shut and teleported them to the address their client had given.

Sure enough, there were three masked people standing in the middle of the bank, brandishing guns; two of them hung back while the third was aiming his weapon at the woman behind the bank counter. The other bank employees and customers were crouching down behind desks and teller machines, muttering anxiously amongst themselves. When Hiro and Ando appeared, gasps sprung up amongst the civilians; two of the robbers spun around to aim their weapons at them.

"Put down your guns and leave this building now," Hiro commanded, brandishing his sword with a stern glare. "Or my partner and I will--"

Before he could finish that thought, a rapid series of bangs rang out as the robbers fired their guns. The gasps and murmurs of the civilians broke into screams, and at his side, he heard Ando scream as well. Those sounds were abruptly cut off when Hiro froze time. Four bullets froze in midair, one of which was barely an inch away from Hiro's forehead. His heart skipped a beat at the sight of it; gulping, he lowered the bullet and then moved the other three out of his and Ando's way as well. He deposited the bullets into the trash can by the desk, where they found their place amidst a pile of crumpled receipts and candy wrappers. Then, brushing his hands off, he marched over to the robbers and pried the guns out of their hands. With the robbers unarmed, Hiro grabbed each of them in succession and teleported them to a police station, where he unfroze time and shoved the robbers toward the nearest officer.

"These men were robbing a bank," he said. "'Lock them up before they can hurt anybody else."

The police officer looked rather startled, as did the robbers, one of whom immediately spun around and tried to shoot Hiro with a gun that he no longer had. Hiro smirked, feeling quite pleased with himself as the officer looked the robbers up on their computer and announced that they had previously been charged for several counts of theft and attempted robbery. Leaving the police to take care of things, he teleported back to the bank to make sure everyone there was safe.

When he reappeared in the bank, he knew immediately that something was wrong, and it brought a sharp twisting sensation to his gut. The employees and customers who had previously been hiding were now clustered around the spot where Hiro and Ando had shown up, muttering things like "Oh my god" and "Is he going to be okay?!" Heart spiking with alarm, Hiro pushed past the gathered crowd to find Ando sprawled out on the ground, blood pooling around him. Hiro froze at the sight of his collapsed friend, blood running cold.

"Ando, what--what happened?!" he stammered, dropping to his knees and laying a hand atop the dark red stain on the front of his friend's borrowed shirt. "I stopped time before the bullets could hit us!"

"Before they could hit you," Ando corrected him, raising his head to meet Hiro's gaze. He spoke through gritted teeth, but he didn't sound angry so much as scared. "One of them had already hit me."

"What? No," Hiro whimpered, shaking his head.

It was a stupid thing to say, he knew, because the irrefutable evidence was laid out before his eyes, but... no! His mind refused to wrap itself around the fact that he, the master of time and space, had been too slow to stop the man he cared so deeply for from getting hurt. Ando must have understood that to some degree, because he didn't bother offering a retort. Sighing, he laid his head back down on the cold tile floor of the bank, while around them the civilians parted and he heard someone in the background talking about calling an ambulance.

Hands trembling, Hiro pushed up the bottom of Ando's shirt so he could see the injury. Sure enough, a bullet was embedded in his upper abdomen, exposing a grisly mess of blood and flesh that made Hiro gag. All the while, blood continued to pour from the wound, seeping between the tiles of the floor and soaking through Hiro's pant legs as he knelt beside his friend.

"You... you'll be okay," Hiro told him, and it came out sounding like a command. "You have to be okay!"

Ando began to open his mouth but then closed it again, as if changing his mind about what to say. He brought his hand up to lay it atop Hiro's, threading their fingers together, and gave him a sad smile.

"Hiro... I love you."

The words pierced through Hiro as though he were the one who'd just been shot. He understood the finality concealed behind that confession. And the worst part was that, now that he heard those words spoken aloud, only now could he put a name to the feelings that flared up in his heart whenever he was with Ando. The feelings he had harbored for years now. The feelings he had been too scared to acknowledge, for fear that they weren't reciprocated. And in that moment, when the palm of his hand was wet and sticky with Ando's slowly draining lifeblood, a jolt of misplaced anger surged through Hiro.

"You should have said that yesterday!" he blurted.

The melancholy expression on Ando's face didn't waver, even as a trickle of blood dribbled out the corner of his mouth. "What difference would it make?" he asked, words coming out slightly slurred as though it were still the day before and they were drunk and partying with their friends.

"Because if you told me then, I would have known what I felt, too," Hiro said, although he could barely choke the words out around the thick lump of emotion swelling in his throat. "And we could have taken today off so I could--I could kiss you, and--and we could date, and... and I never would have let you put yourself in danger again."

As he spoke, Ando's hand grew limp atop his own, and his skin gradually became cooler to the touch. That sad, regretful smile was still on his face when his eyes fell closed and his head lolled to the side. Cold, harsh dread clamped around Hiro's heart like the steel of a hunting trap closing around its prey, and he desperately grabbed his companion by the shoulders, lifting him off the ground.

"I love you, too!"

The confession was swallowed up by a sob that wracked Hiro's body, so he yelled it out again, and then over and over again as hot tears welled up in his eyes and poured down his cheeks.

"I love you, Ando. I've loved you for a long time. I should have told you... I love you, I love you, I love you!"

He rocked back and forth on his heels as he made his declarations, clutching his companion's unmoving body to his chest. But no matter how tightly he held Ando's body, no matter how passionately he cried out his feelings, Hiro knew it was too late. He had failed the man he loved, and now... and now...

Maybe in another world.

Ando's words from the previous day echoed in his mind, and now Hiro understood them. In another world--another timeline--if either of them had been bold enough to confess their love, they could have been together. Whether or not that would have changed the outcome of this day, Hiro didn't know. It didn't make a difference now anyway. In this world, he sat alone on a cold tiled floor, soaked through with the blood of the man he loved, with nothing to show for his love other than a lifeless body in his arms.

"I love you," he whispered through his tears one final time, just in case it would somehow make a difference or change what had happened.

It didn't.

#asks #jean--valswan #heroes #hey did you know that i write stuff sometimes?

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sigritandtheelves · 5 years

Note

I know you just poste but... PLEASE MORE!!! (whenever you can, this not ment for pressuring you, this is to let you know i love simple and can't stop reading it)

💗

Simple

Chapter 8

Other Chapters: One, Two, Three, Four, Five, Six, Seven

M | 3.3k wds | pre-XF AU | MSR, Melissa/Samantha

A/N: There’s some uncustomary angst here, but nothing too heavy. The good news is, it feels like the story has an actual emotional arc now. 😂

_+_

Wednesday - Stanford

He didn’t call her on Monday, after her terrible day, or on Tuesday, when she really hoped he would. On Wednesday morning before her flight, she tried his apartment, but got only his machine. She left him a message.

“Hi, it’s me. I guess you’re not back yet from your case. My flight gets in in at 7:30 tonight, and they’re putting me up in a hotel downtown, the, um… Hotel Harrington. I guess it’s just around the corner from the Hoover building. Anyway, I hope the case is going well, and, ah… I’ll talk to you soon.”

She hung up and tried not to be disappointed. She reminded herself that he was busy, that he was saving people’s lives, that he could even be in a dangerous situation for all she knew. Dana would not be the jealous type: not of his job and not of his partner. She would do some reading on the plane and she would wear her good suit tomorrow, and she would make a strong impression at the FBI, even if Fox couldn’t be there. So she ignored the mild ache in her heart, the sense that everything was somehow turning sour. She wasn’t even sure why she worried. Because she couldn’t reach him? Because recruitment by the FBI seemed too good to be true? She didn’t believe in signs and omens. She wasn’t Melissa.

Dana double checked her light switches and plugs and gave her single, sickly plant a final splash of water. Suitcase in hand, Dana locked up and went down to meet her cab.

—

Friday - Baltimore

Melissa Scully returned home later than she’d wanted. There had been a difficult case involving a drug-addicted mother and disputed custody: a grandmother trying to keep two sweet-faced children fed and looked-after. As she hung her coat and scarf, pushing down the static of her hair and stepping out of her shoes, she noticed something different in the feel of the house. Its air seemed thicker, and not just with the warm smell of dinner. Then, voices from the kitchen: a visitor.

“Sam?”

The voices quieted and Sam called out, “I’m here.”

There were two familiar bags beside the stairs, but she was still surprised to see Dana perched on a stool, slump-shouldered and tired-eyed. “Hi Missy,” she said.

Melissa felt her mouth drop open. “Dana? Oh my god, are you okay? What are you doing here?”

Dana tried to smile, but her lips trembled, and Missy quickly enveloped her sister in a hug. Dana melted bonelessly into the embrace and breathed in deep. So much fear, she sensed. And an angry wad of shame, balling itself up inside of her. Something must have happened.

Over Dana’s head, Melissa looked to Samantha. What is it? she mouthed, but Sam just made a face that said, I don’t know.

“Day,” she said again. “What’s up?”

Dana shook her head, red hair turning to fuzz against Melissa’s shoulder, words muffled into her sweater. “I took the train from DC. It was stupid. I shouldn’t have changed the ticket, but I thought he’d be there.”

“Who, Fox?”

A nod.

Missy looked again to Samantha, who shrugged and then waved her hands at the sisters, shooing them out of the kitchen to talk in private. Melissa tugged on her sister’s arm. “Come on,” she said. “Couch.”

Dana refused to cry while the whole story came out: Daniel (a name she hadn’t known before this) first spying on them during Fox’s surprise visit, and then confronting her with threats and accusations; her recruitment by the FBI; her fear about their father’s reaction; and finally Fox, promising to be here, or at least to call, but then leaving on a case and not returning her messages for days.

“I know it’s not his fault,” she said. “I shouldn’t have changed the ticket without talking to him, but I would have hated to not change it and have wasted the opportunity for time together.”

“You mean your plane ticket?”

“Yeah,” Dana said. “I’m flying back Sunday.” She looked up at Melissa, eyes wide and blue and sorry. “Can I stay here until then? I don’t want to have to explain to mom and dad.”

Melissa sighed and drooped an arm around her little sister. “Of course,” she said. “But you know you’ll have to tell them soon, right? I mean, did the recruitment go well?”

Dana nodded. “It did. It’s actually really exciting. Scary, but in a good way.”

A little squeeze around the shoulders. “Then let’s be excited. Let’s have a beer and some dinner and I’ll read your cards and then we can watch sad movies, hmm? A cry always helps. You can sleep ’til noon tomorrow.”

Dana laughed and nodded and they went back to the kitchen where Sam was hanging up the phone, a little too quickly.

“Who was that?” Melissa asked, eyes narrowed with a skepticism all the Scullys could do.

“No one,” she said, again too quickly, and began handing them plates piled with vegetables and rice and tofu.

—

Saturday - Alexandria

It was a short flight, but it had been a long week, when Fox Mulder finally unlocked the door to his apartment and dropped his bags on the floor at just after nine in the morning. He’d returned with more questions than answers, and a dead suspect, but the case was by all outward appearances (and filed paperwork), closed. Most of the answers he wanted would require military information, but all inquiries in that direction had been shut down right quick. Fox wiped a hand over his face and went to start a pot of coffee: the dinky cup on the plane had done little to relieve his week-long headache. Good work it may have been, but the non-answers at the end of walking in circles didn’t leave him with much sense of closure. The worst was that Diana had set up long hours of stake-outs throughout the first half of the week, and by the time he’d gotten to a phone with his calling card, he got no answer at Dana’s apartment. He’d missed her before she left, and he didn’t know where she was staying to call her once she got here.

While the coffee pot dripped, he went to his answering machine where the number 6 was flashing at him in anxiety-inducing red. First was a call from his landlord, reminding him about some work on the smoke detectors. Then one from Dana, letting him know about her flight and her hotel—he grabbed a pen and paper to take down the name, but then realized it was Saturday and that he’d probably already missed her. “Shit,” he said. Then her voice came back in a second message from early yesterday morning:

“Hi again. I’m sorry to bug you. Just an update: I’m touring Quantico and the labs this morning and then I was supposed to have an afternoon flight home, but…” There was a brief pause, and her voice was a bit cooler when it returned. “I’ll be checked out of the hotel in a few minutes. I’m sorry I missed you.” And then a quick click and the message was over. But what? He thought. “Goddamnit,” he murmured. He had fucked this one up good. She’d been here, just minutes away from where he now stood, and then at the same airport he’d flown into less than an hour ago. But they’d missed each other like ships in the night.

Two more messages played, first a hang-up, and then an automated call offering new long-distance pricing. He took a deep breath and started to do the math on when he could reasonably make a call to California, when his sister’s voice emerged from the machine in its final message:

“Fox, you dope. Your girl is here and she looks pretty fucking sad. What did you do? She flies home late Sunday morning. Don’t be an idiot,” and then the click of the receiver as Sam hung up in a hurry.

A smile spread out over his face as his heartbeat caught up to his mind’s realization. He hadn’t missed her. She’d just gone to Baltimore (and not told him). He could be there before noon. Fox barely waited for the machine to stop dripping before he sloshed some coffee into a travel mug, grabbed his keys, and ignored his still-packed bags on his way out the door. He thought maybe he could still salvage this mess of a week.

—

Saturday traffic in February wasn’t bad, but he may have committed a few minor misdemeanors on his way. He pulled up in front of his sister’s house at 11:48, swallowing the last of his now-lukewarm coffee. He thought for a moment, popped a mint into his mouth, then hurried for the front door. He was going to scoop Dana up, take her back to his place (six hours of travel today be damned) and make love to her until they both fell asleep from exhaustion. When they woke, he would feed her (preferably by hand, preferably naked) and listen to every single minute of her life over the past week.

“Oh hey,” Samantha said as she opened the door, looking smug. “Got my message?”

“I did,” he said. “Is she here?”

Sam stepped back to let him enter. “Mmhmm. Couch.” He was already walking toward the living room, but Samantha caught his arm before he could plow past her. Her eyes were brown and serious. “She’s had a week, Fox. Be gentle, okay?”

He frowned at that, a little confused. “Okay,” he said, wondering if the recruitment hadn’t gone well, if some jackass had said something to her. God knew there were enough sexist pricks at the FBI.

In the living room, Dana was curled around a throw pillow on the couch, eyes glued to the TV, freckled and beautiful and still in pajamas. Fox stood awkwardly a moment in the doorway before she caught sight of him and her eyes went wide.

“Oh my gosh,” she said, pushing herself up to sit.

He smiled, letting the warmth of her proximity wash over him. “Hey you.”

“You came back. I thought… How’d you know I was here?”

He pulled off his coat and tossed it over the back of a chair. “Sam left me a message. Mind if I sit?”

She shook her head and shifted to make room. He lowered himself beside her and hooked his index finger over her pinky, gave it a little tug. Something seemed off, he noticed. She seemed… hesitant, a little less excited than he’d hoped. He thought of Sam’s warning: be gentle.

“I’m sorry,” he said after a moment of her fiddling with his fingers with her left hand: rubbing them, staring down as if she were nervous.

“For what?”

He tugged again at her hand, trying to get her to look at him. “For missing your calls.”

Dana shrugged and moved her eyes to the coffee table, to the remains of her breakfast cereal and a worn paperback. “You were working, it’s not your fault. I shouldn’t have… anyway, it doesn’t matter. How was your case?”

“Frustrating. Too long. Hey.” With that, she finally looked at him, and he could swear she looked afraid. Fox raised his hand to her cheek and was relieved when she leaned into it. “Tell me about you.” He leaned in and touched his nose to hers. She smiled, just a little twitch of her lips, and it warmed his hopes. He braved a kiss, and she responded with a gentle pressure of her own lips. There she was. “Hello,” he said with another little kiss. “I missed you,” he murmured, and he let his fingers toy at the hem of her top. “I’m sorry I wasn’t here.”

“Hi,” she said. “I missed you, too. And it’s okay.”

“Were you sufficiently wooed by the FBI?”

Dana smiled again. “I think so. I toured the Hoover Building first. Very impressive. Many important men in suits.”

“Hmm, yes.”

“And then the labs at Quantico.”

“And?”

“Amazing.”

“They let you slice up any dead bodies?”

Dana sighed, in mock regret. “Unfortunately no. I brought my own scalpel and everything, but I guess they want me to go through training first.”

Fox laughed and tugged her into his arms. She fell heavily against his chest with an “oomph” and a little laugh. He squeezed her tight, relieved at the warmth of her, here and solid and his. “And you will, you think? Go through training?”

She leaned her head back to look at him, and though she smiled, there was some distant and foggy look in her eyes. “Yeah,” she said.

—

The sight of him in the doorway should have overwhelmed her with joy, as it had three weeks ago when she’d found him waiting for her. But it was as if the earth had undergone a tectonic shift, or a tilt in its axis, that changed their orientations toward one another. Or hers toward him. She wasn’t sure. The feel of his palm on her cheek still set beating the small wings of her heart, but it was with anxiety now, as well as excitement. His lips on hers still felt exactly, perfectly right. And yet, she was afraid. Seeing FBI Headquarters, imagining herself there, stiff-backed and strong under the daily onslaught of authoritative men and their rigid expectations, was a thing difficult enough. Imagining him there, too, as one of those wielders of authority, who could sway the opinion of those who judged her… He could touch her in a hallway out of only affection and accidentally ruin her.

(Are you fucking him to get a place there?)

Daniel’s voice was a poison in her memory that she tried to shove away. But her recruitment by the FBI changed them, she realized. It gave Fox a kind of power over her she hadn’t considered at first, even if he would never use it. She would be, once again, sleeping with a colleague, and that recent burn still stung. Now, as she rested her head against his chest and felt his arms around her back, she wondered once again if she’d been too hasty with her affection. Take a step back, Dana. Armor yourself.

They both said goodbye to Melissa and Sam. She thanked them for the cozy room and dinner, and let Fox bring her back to his apartment. She was quiet on the ride, listening to him unravel the details of his case. She tried her best to offer words that didn’t want to come.

When they pulled up at his apartment building, Dana felt the tingle of nerves again, all the way into her fingers. She tried to carry her own bags, but he waved her away from the trunk. She bit her lip, surprised by her own irritation. This small gesture, meant with affection, now felt weighted down with assumptions and misguided chivalry. Inside, he juggled the bags and his keys to unlock the door. His apartment was much larger than hers, but a bit dim, even with the lights on. Well-decorated, though. Her lips twitched up at the sight of his fish tank. Fox nearly tripped over his own bags on the way in, then carried them all, waddling awkwardly, into his bedroom. When he came back, he stopped and stood before her, watching her watch him there in his foyer, still in her coat.

“I won’t bite,” he said after a moment, a little sheepish. “Mi casa, and all of that.”

She tried to smile, and tugged off her coat, hung it on the coat rack.

“Dana,” he said while she fiddled with the pockets and straightened the fabric. Slowly, she turned, and the worry on his face hurt her heart. “What’s wrong?”

She shook her head. “I’m okay.”

“You’re not okay. Sam said you had a week. Will you tell me?”

Dana closed her eyes and breathed. Telling him would mean explaining the situation with Daniel, the whole situation. And what would he think of her then? Fox stepped closer, and his fingers brushed her elbow.

No, she thought. She wouldn’t break in front of him. She wouldn’t cry and tell him about her mean ex and beg his comfort and let herself be held, she who had stupidly thought he might rush back to see her. He couldn’t want this much complication, not so soon, and she suddenly couldn’t imagine letting herself seem so weak in front of him. So she swallowed and put what she hoped was a smile on her face. “Work stuff was stressful, that’s all. Because I had to take the three days off.” She tucked hair behind her ear and tried that smile again, but she could see that he didn’t quite buy it. It wasn’t a lie, she thought, not exactly—the trip had set off some trouble… which had unfolded at work. “And I’m not great at flying,” she added. “Cross-country trips stress me out a bit.”

Fox nodded, lower lip tucked between his teeth. “Okay,” he said, and ushered her into his living room with his hand on her back. His fish tank burbled and his couch was green. She sat down on it and looked out over his desk through the window. “Should I order us some lunch? I don’t have much here.”

“Okay,” she said, not looking back from the window. “That sounds good.”

So they ate in unfamiliar awkwardness, their noodles and egg-drop soup and chicken, and Dana felt she had maybe ruined everything. Here was this man who seemed to genuinely like who she was, not who she might be or who he wanted her to be, and she would either ruin it all with her neediness or push him away with her coldness. Dana swallowed a lump of baby corn that felt like a brick in her esophagus, knowing suddenly that she had done wrong. She had loved too much too soon at a time when she was too unsettled. Now, she was sure, they would suffer for it.

They spent the afternoon watching TV, and she clung to him wide-eyed, face against the warm cotton of his shirt, while he kissed her head and she convinced herself this might be the last time they shared this kind of quiet comfort. He hummed pleasantly against her scalp while she fought back tears he never saw. They took a walk to a small park down the street, and she twined her fingers around his like they were a lifeline, like they could save her from ruining this.

Shouts echoed on the playground until clouds purpled the sky. Children on skateboards and bikes wheeled home to their dinners, and soon she and Fox turned back, too. When it grew late, they swallowed leftovers and she curled into his bed in the dark. His fingers found her. His words poured into her ear: Dana, you feel so good, while skimmed his heavy palms over her body and she pressed her flesh to his. He slipped her panties down, and god she wanted him to, more than anything. She was glad of the dark that hid the depth of her love and sadness: the crease in her forehead, the wobble of her lips. She moaned into his clavicle, arched against his fingers, spread her legs and accepted him inside of her, all while thinking she could not keep him.

At the airport, she managed not to cry, and if he mistook the shine of her eyes for the sadness of temporary partings, she did not correct him. Again, she wanted to tell him she loved him, but hadn’t the courage. He palmed her cheek and kissed her lips in that way he had, like he was holding a secret. “Call me when you get in,” he whispered. And though she nodded (feeling ripped open, feeling hollowed out, feeling like she’d stepped on something beautiful in her clumsiness and broken it), she did not.

— end chapter eight —

Go to Chapter 9

#i have the world's worst post timing #anyway here's this #a thing i wrote #simple #chapter eight #melissa/samantha #au #msr

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dontshootmespence · 5 years

Text

Watch Me

A/N: After the disastrous season 14 finale, I felt a compulsion to explain that confession in a different way. Not sure how many pieces this will be. Kind of depends on feedback because it was so impromptu, but I am using this first part to fulfill my “season 14″ bingo square for @cmbingo.

Chapter 1

“Watch me.”

Watch me. Watch me. Watch me. Watch me. Watch me. Watch me. Watch me.

Twenty-three hours a day behind gray stone walls left a woman with a lot of time to ponder. Fixate on those last words and the loss that came with them.

As she scraped her fingernail against the wall, digging those two words into the concrete over and over and over again, Cat Adams waited for those four words. You have a visitor. While the walls of her solitary cell weren’t soundproof, she could hear little but the sound of her own voice as she plotted out her revenge. The ragged screech of her nails against the wall served as a wonderful deviation from the norm.

Once those four beautiful words caressed her ears, she could set her plan in motion. She could be outsmarted again, but with insanity collapsing in on her at an alarming speed, she didn’t care. Plus, she was already in solitary. What else could they do? She would go out with a lasting impact. She would ensure that neither Spencer Reid nor Jennifer Jareau would ever forget her. In their every waking moment, the two would see her face and hear her voice. Of that she would make sure.

For months she’d built up her contacts – found the weak ones and exploited them for her own benefit - and with every rare opportunity she had to send out mail, she sent a letter to the same woman.

All were different in little ways, but they conveyed the same message. Come and visit. If Cat knew Jennifer Jareau, and she was sure she did, the female agent would eventually get sick and tired of receiving letters and would visit her purely to tell her that nothing was going to happen. But Cat knew better. All she had to do was get Jennifer in the room with her and the plan would fall perfectly into place.

It had taken quite a bit of coercion and the inclusion of a few more people in her plan than she would’ve preferred, but the bow was finally strung and ready to be loosed.

As she paced the miniscule cell, going over and over her plan in her mind to ensure that everything was in place, she heard a knock on the door. The guard’s voice traveled through the little slat where her food was usually delivered. “Adams, you have a visitor.”

“Who is it?” She asked. Cat stood facing the wall, a warm smile on her face as she rested her head against the cool concrete.

“An FBI agent named Jennifer Jareau,” he bellowed.

Perfect.

Honestly, she’d expected it to take a little bit longer to get Jareau in here, but the sooner the better. She was actually going crazy in here.

Taking her usual stance with her back against the door and her hands behind her back, she felt the cool metal of the handcuffs snap around her wrists so she could be escorted to another room where she’d meet with her illustrious visitor. “Don’t know why anyone comes in here to see you,” the guard said roughly.

“Everyone loves crazy chicks,” Cat replied dryly, “even if they don’t want to.”

It was too bad she couldn’t turn this guard to her side. He was better looking than the one she’d managed but she did what needed to be done. After sitting her down and locking her cuffs in front of her to the table, he twisted his wedding ring around his finger, something she noticed he did whenever she tried to make a move on him. “You know the drill. You’ll have half an hour.”

“Yup.” She popped the ‘p’ at the end of the word, not bothering to look up as he left the room.

Just as she’d suspected, the agent waited a fair few minutes to walk in, probably in an attempt to throw her off her game, but her time in solitary had only honed it. The door creaked open to reveal the second agent she wanted to see. She’d prefer having Spencer here, hands on her throat, but she was determined to make both their lives hell, and this was the best way to do it.

“Looking a little haggard lately,” Cat said with a devious smile, the subtle laughter in her voice crawling up JJ’s spine. “Never a dull day at the BAU, am I right?”

“Cut the crap,” JJ snapped. Wonderful. She was already on edge. “All it will take is a few words from me to take away every single privilege you have inside these four walls.”

She wanted Cat to snap at her, to lose control, but her constitution had only grown in the two years since they’d last seen each other. “Take a seat, Jennifer,” she said icily, “we have so much catching up to do.”

“No, we don’t.” After getting Spencer out of prison and the whole Scratch ordeal, they were all exhausted. None of them needed this right now. “What do you want? You said you had something to tell me and frankly there’s nothing you can say that’s going to get you a leaner sentence or a cell in gen pop, so you can save it.” She stood up to leave the room.

“How’s Spencer doing? He lost his mind yet? I bet Diana is getting worse and worse every day.”

JJ snapped back around and smacked the table, the sound reverberating against the walls. “Spencer has forgotten about you. You’re not even a blip on his radar. We’ve had important things to deal with. Not you.”

“He’s in pain. He’s always in pain. So are you,” she said, pointing her finger towards JJ’s crystal blue eyes. “I can see it in your eyes, actually the bags under your eyes but you know what I mean. Anyway, your pain isn’t over yet. The thing you seem to forget about me is that I don’t let things go. Someone is coming for you, courtesy of yours truly. In this moment of terror, you’re going to confess to Spencer that you’ve always loved him.”

“Absolutely not,” JJ responded curtly, once again getting up to leave.

“Oh, I forgot to ask how Will and the boys were. He takes them to school, right? Leaves the house with them between 7:15 and 7:30. Gets them to school by 7:45. Henry’s in until 2:45, but little Michael is only in for a half-day. He’s just turned three?”

JJ spun around, tears damned up against her eyes as her voice quivered. “How?”

“On the weekends, you all go to the park down the block from your house - only on Saturdays though. Sundays you play soccer in the front yard as one big happy little family,” she sneered. “I know every waking moment of your lives, Mrs. Jareau, so if you’d like to take a seat again, we can speak like adults.”

Blood boiling, JJ sat down, mind running with how she could possibly know what she knew. How had she gotten hold of her schedule? How did she get someone to help her even in solitary? “Now,” Cat started again, “when that someone comes for you – and believe me you’ll know it when it happens – you are going to tell Spencer you’ve always loved him. You’ll live through the ordeal, I’ve made sure of that, but the after effects of such a confession will be monumental I’m sure.”

“What makes you think he’d even believe me? We’ve been best friends for years. He knows I don’t feel that way about him-“

“Because he’s lonely. You know Spencer, but I do too. You’ll play him for as long as I say.”

“No,” JJ replied, shaking her head and pushing away from the table. “No, I won’t. I won’t do-“

“You will. Because if you don’t, I only have to make one phone call and any of your boys could get a bullet between the eyes.”

“I’ll tell the guard outside-“

“You can if you want, but the one that’s out there now just got in and he’s mine. He’ll make that phone call and little Henry will just-“ She made a finger gun and pointed it at herself.

JJ could feel the bile searing her stomach, eating away at her insides. She could easily jump across the table and choke the life out of her, but if she knew Cat Adams, the woman had thought of nearly every eventuality.

“You know I’ll sniff out every single person you’ve used and exploited and I will put a stop to this,” JJ stated. Her voice shook with each word and even she didn’t truly believe the words she spoke.

Cat nodded. “I know. The BAU is good but I’m better and by the time you find everyone I have in my arsenal, the damage will already be done. The thing with the BAU is that you close a case and move on, but me – I’ve had two years to focus on nothing but you. My baby was taken from me and I’ve had nothing else to occupy my time but you.” She stood up as far as she could given the cuffs and leaned over the table. “If anything changes on my end, my guard being changed out for instance, or anything changes on your end, I will know and one or all of your boys will die. Are we clear?”

“You have taken on the wrong mother,” JJ whispered softly.

“No,” Cat replied. “You have.”

The two women shared a tense look before JJ left without a word, speeding passed a different guard than the one that had ushered her in to speak with Cat in the first place.

Outside and blinded by the sun, she lurched forward, her lunch ending up on the ground in front of her, her breaths coming in short and shallow. Once she caught her breath, she stood up straight and powered toward her car, slipping inside without a glance to anyone or anything. She couldn’t tell anyone anything – not until she knew.

Will and the boys…

Spence…

She couldn’t do this to him; He’d been through too much already. But she couldn’t say anything if Cat truly did have eyes everywhere like she insinuated. The lives of her husband and children hung in the balance. Once she’d dismantled Cat’s army, she would tell Spencer and he would understand…right?

-------

As she woke up the next morning, JJ shivered, knowing that somewhere nearby someone was watching her and her family. Wiping away the steam on the mirror, she saw the bags under her eyes and the bloodshot in them. She’d tossed and turned so badly that Will had woken her up fully to ask if she was okay. That was when the first little lie left her. “I’m fine.”

With a faked smile and kisses for her boys, she headed to work, grabbing her usual morning coffee along the way – and Spencer’s too. She clenched her hands so tightly are the cups she almost exploded the drinks all over herself. Even this one benign gesture became tainted knowing what she had to do.

Once she got to work, she grabbed the coffee and headed inside with a drive she normally couldn’t muster so early in the morning. Every spare moment she had was going to be dedicated to dismantling Cat’s plan. But she had to go it alone.

“Hey JJ,” Spencer said, his sleepy morning smile piercing her heart in the worst way. He reached for the coffee she’d brought for him and she stiffened as his hand brushed hers. She couldn’t do this to him. How was she supposed to lead him on like this? Who’s to even say it would work? “Thanks for the coffee.”

“No problem, Spence.” Without another word, she turned with a strained smile and headed to her office.

“You okay?” He called. “You seem tense this morning.”

Of course he knew. He always knew. “Yea, I’m okay,” she replied. Another lie. “Just had a hard time getting the boys up for school this morning. They wanted to stay home and I wouldn’t let them.”

Before he could notice her tells, she turned and bolted toward her office, breaking into a silent sob as she closed the door behind her. The reality of what she had to do was finally, truly, hitting her and she couldn’t stop from shaking as the sobs racked her body.

If she’d only let Spencer kill Cat two years ago, she wouldn’t be here now, having to weigh the lives of her boys against the friendship she’d leaned on for more than a decade and a half.

@emilyshurley

#spencer reid #jennifer jareau #cat adams #fix it fic #watch me #dontshootmespence #criminal minds season 14 #criminal minds #criminal minds fanfiction #criminal minds fanfic

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gwydionmisha · 5 years

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Personal: I can't breathe; they are choking me.

One of the things heart patients and lung patients have is a particular qualiy of exhaustion that healthy people don't experience. Some part essential part of one's body I working so hard to do an essential thing poorly that there is hardly anything else left to do actual things with. It is nothing at all like the ired of running a distance race, or the tired of the third fourteen hour shift in a row or the insomnia exhaustion, though it is closer to that particularly quality of insomnia exhaustion one gets when one hasn't slept more than half an hour in every twenty four because one is dying. (And yes, I've had that one too, wand it really is different from grad school hardly any sleep because the thesis is due tired. I's aoher, you have to seriously fucking projected three months to live if you can't raise surgury money sick to feel it, so yeah, not a healthy person kind of tired).

This paricular exhaustion makes the act of sitting up a marathon level act of discipline and fortitude. It robs you of breath over a slow shuffle to the bathroom. It leaves you weeping at the number of steps involved in doing dishes or the laundry. It means that every little guesure or action has a spoon count cost. The longer and worse it gets the more disconnected one feels. Talking is tiring. It takes breath and effort at a time when the simple in and out is like lifting weights. This isn't laziness, this is death creeping close.

My last lung treatment was the 17th, I think. That was sunday before last right? I call every day to leave yet more messages begging for my fucking copressor motor. I have both numbeers by my bed. Them having lost my paperwork since... I think it was last fall has been catastrophic. Oh, I'm in the computer so they've been happily billing Medicare, but they can't replace the equipment without the paper physician's order they apparently threw out at some point. It took most of a week of them ignoring me to get that bit of information ou of them, so then everyday I called my provider to leave a message for them begging them to send the fucking fax to the assholes who lost the first one. Which gets no response over and over. Today was the forth day in this week and a half span when I woke up with my eyes filmed over and in sereing pain from the pollen which it also attacking my lungs.

I can't breathe; they are choking me.

This morning I sounded so bad the receptionists called every nurse in the practice trying to get a live human to respond. They were all busy. She marked everything urgent and finally I got a human to actually look into WTF. Eventually. Apparently the compressor assholes where wanting two signatures, one of which my provider was having trouble getting, but also some statement that my motor was beyond repair, which the physicians ethically can't do becausse they are Doctors nott mecanics. Fuckssake. So I'm like, "Could you put in the fax something like, 'Patient reports that the compressor will not turn on at all and is copletely dead despite checking all connections, etc.." The nurse said he'd see if that would work and would also try to track down second signature. Compressor assholes called back to let me know they are holding my compressor hostage to force me to buy my lung meds froom them instead of cheap sliding scale pharmacy.

I have no choice; I literally can't breathe. I hate them. I hate them so much.

I have given into their demands. They are considering maybe letting me breath tomorrow afternoon. Maybe. I'm not holding my breath.

#Personal #My Health

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weekendwarriorblog · 6 years

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MoviePass’s Latest Scam is Ingenious but Infuriating

If you’re anything like me, you schedule your life around the movies you want to see and you see a mix of movies in arthouse and indie theaters as well as bigger franchise movies at the multiplexes.

Now I’ve been using MoviePass for well over two years. In March 2016, the Metrograph theater opened in my neighborhood, and I soon learned from a friend that the theater took MoviePass, which at the time was $45 a month for a single movie a day. Still no 3D/IMAX, but you could see movies multiple times and there were few other limitations except that you could only use it once a day. That was already a pretty good deal because if I saw 3 movies that month, it would be about the same. They then raised the price to $50 and I still found it to be a good deal because I was freelancing but still had more free time than free money. I mainly used it at the Metrograph over the next year or so, but once in a while would go to the multiplex and see a movie which I missed or wasn’t invited to see (like every Disney movie since Dec. 2016).

When MoviePass was bought and the price was lowered to $9.99 a month, I was thrilled because I was already using it and a fan of the service and that would save me $40 a month. A few months later, MoviePass offered an annual fee for the service for $89 which was even lower than the monthly fee. When the price was dropped last July, there were a lot of negative nellies saying that it would never work and there was no way for MoviePass to survive, and maybe they were right.

Anyway, earlier this year, they offered a service of 4 movies a month for $7.99 which if you live in New York is STILL a great deal compared to paying $15 to 18 for a movie (and that’s not including 3D upcharges). There were definitely some growing pains as MoviePass upgraded its APP and started making conditions, one of them being that you have to take a picture of the ticket to prove that you used it for the movie you checked in for, mainly to avoid scammers. It was a pain, especially at theaters like the Quad which have TERRIBLE celphone and WIFI service. And it also was buggy because when it started, it would randomly ask you for a picture before you could use MoviePass again and if you didn’t keep your ticket on you, you were fucked.

MoviePass kept instilling new rules… that you couldn’t see a movie more than twice and then they started adding surge pricing for the bigger movies. The thing is that because I bought a year’s service in advance, they couldn’t change the deal and start making long-time users pay surge charges. That alone already pissed a lot of MoviePass users to the point where they dumped it and switched to the AMC Service.

Okay, let’s fast-forward to last week Thursday when MoviePass’ service went down completely, something that has happened sporadically since last year. These issues were frustrating, but not as frustrating as the customer service which pretty much vanished and you were told to use the APP. I actually had to upgrade to a new smartphone because in Feb or March, the APP stopped working on my old Droid altogether.

Anyway, MoviePass went down and it was soon reported that they ran out of money to pay their vendors and had to borrow another $6 million to stay solvent. Once again, the negative nellies started ranting on about how they told them so and that it would never work. The stock quickly tanked and everyone assumed doom for the service, especially with AMC offering A-List to those who normally frequent the multiplexes and wanted to see the bigger movies that play at them. For $20 a month, that was still a good deal if you actually went to see 3 movies a week and saw IMAX/3D movies.

During the week after the money problems, it was very hard to get MoviePass to work at all… either you couldn’t check-in or the APP said there were no screenings available at ANY theater… except of course, MoviePass’ partners, which in NYC is exactly THREE theaters… The Roxy (repertory and 2nd run indies), the Landmark 57 which is WAY out of the way unless you live on the Upper West Side and the Chelsea Cinepolis which is closer downtown (23rd and 8th) and plays a mix of indies and major releases. You could see anything you wanted at those partners even with all the problems, which is HUGELY suspect in itself because it looked like MoviePass was trying to shut out the theaters who didn’t outright partner with them.

But that wasn’t the SCAM that I referred to in the title… THIS is the SCAM:

Last Friday, I decided to try MoviePass again, although it had been spotty in the past week. That morning, I woke up and said, “I want to see Equalizer 2 since I missed the press screening.” I went on the MoviePass APP to see if it was working and it showed a number of afternoon screenings around 3pm or 3:30 which sounded like I could make happen. I went on about my daily business and then around 1:30, I checked the APP again to make sure it was working before I got on the bus ($2.75 each way if you don’t have a weekly pass, which I don’t) and went up to Kips Bay to see the movie. I then saw that the earlier afternoon screenings had been deleted and unavailable on the APP and the earliest screening of Equalizer 2 was at 7pm or 7:30. Again, this is at 1:30 in the afternoon.

What was really annoying about them limiting my choice to the evening screenings was that it was Friday evening, Equalizer 2 had been out for about a month and it was playing in the smaller theater which had already sold a lot if not all of its tickets. I figured that the chance of the 7pm screening being sold out by the time I got there was definitely not in my favor.

See, that’s the thing with MoviePass… it has always been the case that you have to buy your ticket within 30 minutes of check-in AND you have to be within half a mile, and none of the theaters playing the movie were close enough that I could guarantee buying a ticket.

I decided to go with Good Manners at the IFC Center which was listed on MoviePass, so I went to that and go there fairly early to get a ticket which was good because that TOO was playing in a small theater that did indeed sell-out its seats.

That got me thinking that maybe MoviePass was deliberately scanning the people who regularly used the service, maybe once a day or three or four times a week. Many of those people (and there are a lot in New York) are single people, maybe unemployed (like myself) who prefer to see movies on weekday afternoons when the theaters aren’t as crowded.

On Saturday, I woke up early to see The General at Metrograph and MoviePass seemed to be working, no problem, but on Sunday, I wanted to see Wanda, a 1970 indie film that was restored, and I saw that it was playing at 12:45 in the bigger theater and not many tickets have been sold, so there shouldn’t be a problem.

I wake up on Sunday and check the MoviePass app and the 12:45 of Wanda isn’t listed. In fact, NO movies are listed anywhere (except the partner theaters) before 5pm, so basically they want to make sure that the people who might go see a movie Sunday afternoon to get out of the heat (or just to see a movie) won’t be able to do so and they have to wait until Sunday evening/night which isn’t ideal for those who work on Mondays or those who just want to do other things Sunday night. (They did have the 9:30 showing listed but that was in the smaller theater and could definitely sell out before anyone with MP is able to get tickets.)

ADDENDUM: It’s now 5:12PM and I’m getting the “There are no more screenings at this theater” message for EVERY theater on the APP other than the partner theaters. Either service is down again, MoviePass is trying to make sure I realize that I already used MoviePass (but what if I didn’t?) or they continue to try to screw over long-time and annual MoviePass users.

For a long time, MoviePass even had a choice to “check-in for a movie not shown here” for the times that a movie wasn’t listed on the APP especially for big theaters with a lot of different movies. That option is GONE, because they want to limit you to whatever movies they feel might sell out

So to spell it out…this is MoviePass’ scam: they’re making it harder and harder and harder… nearly impossible… for the regular MoviePass subscribers, those who have been with the service from the days it was $45-50 a month to use, those who paid for a year in advance and had the confident that MoviePass would deliver the service as promised for a whole year (which is definitely not the case).

And you know what? When they started making people take pictures of their tickets after using MoviePass, they threatened to cut off the service of anyone who didn’t take a picture of their ticket. By doing that, they’d save themselves a lot of money on a service that they clearly didn’t think through when they lowered the price to $9.99. I stood by that decision and thought it would be great to get people signed up, but I never thought that would stick.

Now it’s $14.99 but I don’t have to renew my service until November and we’ll have to see if I do so under the current conditions. If it was $14.99 a month and there were no limitations other than seeing one movie a day, no repeat viewings or 3D/IMAX, that would be fine and still a good deal. But MoviePass is also cutting off new releases like Mission: Impossible and Christopher Robin and even The Darkest Minds (which probably could have been helped by MoviePass).

So to recap: MoviePass is trying to fuck everyone over that hasn’t already dumped their service because they realize they overreached by lowering the price to $9.99 when there are many people who would gladly see a movie a day if given the option.

MoviePass, you should be ashamed of yourself, especially the recent decision to limit moviegoers’ choices in how they use MoviePass. In November, when I have to decide whether to spend $14.99 a month for a lesser service, I just hope AMC still is doing A-List because I’ll do that even though It won’t be able to see movies at any of the downtown arthouse/indie/repertory theaters (and they’re going to get fucked by losing all the MoviePass users).

#MoviePass Movies Scam

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cowandcalf · 6 years

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A - Z Game

A – Z Tag game

Rules: Answer the questions in a new post and tag 10 blogs you would like to get to know better.

Guys I’m seriously overwhelmed because I got tagged by five people. I still have some meme games queueing up to get done but I couldn’t wait with this one here. So thanks a million for thinking of me and wanting to get to know me better. I got tagged by the wonderful @leeloodmpwrites, by the lovely @82tweeder, by the fearless @tari-aldarion by the gorgeous @ibelieveinyou-ibelieveinus and by the wonderful @nade2308. Guys, you rock!

A – Age: Old (thank God others wrote that too!)

B – Birthplace: Switzerland

C – Current Time: 10.45 am Zurich Time, Switzerland (MET)

D – Drink You Last Had: Coffee

E – Easist Person To Talk To: I have more than one: my wife, my younger sister and my bestie Indie @indiepjones46.

F – Favorite Song: This changes frequently, but there are songs that stuck with me since my teenage days. My all time favorite is ‘Can’t Help Falling In Love’ by Elvis Presley. My current fave song is ‘Broken Glass’ from Mayaeni…and guess what? I watched an episode from season two Hawaii Five-O and at the end they played that song. Gosh, I googled it, downloaded it and when ever I sit down and write this song plays on repeat.

G – Grossest Memory: I’m not grossed out that easily. But yes there's this one memory. I worked as a cadet nurse (I don’t know if this is the right word) for my internship (nutritionist). During this time I had to wake up the patients and there was this room with only old men. The first thing they did after they woke up was to cough. Most of them had problems with their lungs, they were mucus-ridden. The sound they made while the slim got coughed up was gross. They spat it out into a cup and handed me the half full cup with yellow/greenish stuff at 7am and the cup felt warm in my hands. I was always at the verge to puke.

H – Horror Yes or Horror No: No. I love me some tension, but real horror is way over the top. I wouldn’t be able to sleep for days.

I – In Love? Yes!

J - Jealous of People: Yes, of course I’m jealous of people. But I guess this needs definition? I’m jealous in a way that I wish to be able to do something specifically that the other persons are good at. And there is always someone I feel jealous of. But never in a distructuble way. I can easily admit this to the another person: "I’m so jeaous because….or I envy you for this and that" It’s normal and common to feel that way, isn’t it? It think of this as nothing bad, nothing special, it just happens.

K – Karma, do you believe in Karma?: (The letter K vanished at some point. So I added a new question here.) I did a very long time, but now not anymore. It’s just a way to explain things we don’t understand; it is a way to look for justice where there is none sometimes. I try to just leave it be. I tend to see the world as a grain of sand in the vast, endless space of the universe. I have no fucking clue what is going on and humans can’t grasp this energy in its mighty. I don’t want to be ruled by human laws after my heart stopped beating. So, no, I don't believe in Karma.

L – Love at first sight or should I walk by again?: I believe in love at first sight, definitely a yes here. As I see it love is a force of nature. This energy is always around us and inside of us. We don’t have to build this feeling because it’s just there. I don’t talk about getting to know each other. I talk about just the feeling of love. Love has different levels and different stages of how it feels. I love a lot of people, but there is a huge difference in how deep, how much and what kind of a relationship I share with this person. I even can love my tumblr friends at first sight because they phrased a sentence in a way that pulled me in under one second flat.

M - Middle Name: Elisabeth

N – Number of Siblings: 1 younger sister and 1 older sister.

O – One Wish: Whenever such a question is asked, there is this one wish that pops up without hesitation. So I just put it here: to live a Life around horses, to be able to ride and to read horses the way Buck Brannaman is able to do it. The yearning to understand these beautiful creatures is huge.

P – Person You Called Last: I don’t like to make phone calls. I’d rather record voice messages on WhatsApp. The last one I recorded I sent to my younger sister. So I ‘talked’t to her.

Q – Question You’re Always Asked: There are actually two questions and they are always the same: „You’re inked?“ and this: „How old are you? No, you’re lying, you can’t be that old.“ So yeah.

R – Reason To Smile: SO many things are able to make me smile: my animals, my wife, tumblr notes, funny English words, Steve McGarrett, Danny Williams, a good show, a bird, a chocolat bar, coffee, my note book, a child, the way I'm dressed….because for the love of God I can’t figure out how to have style.

S – Song You Last Sang: I can’t sing AT ALL. I love to listen to music, but singing?….forget it. I’m terrible at it and I never feel the urge to sing because I can’t find out how you keep a tone. So, no singing at all. I just remember one time, sitting on a spooked horse, on a chilly winter evening, riding alone on my way home, and my horse was skittish as hell and I started to sing; „silent night holy night“ like those four words because I don’t know anything else by heat. I sang it on end with a shaky, squeaky voice to calm us both down. It didn’t work though. LOL.

T – Time you woke Up: Sundays are an exception 6.30. Normally it's 4.30am, every day because I feed the horses at 5am. On Sundays it's my woman who gets up that early. I love mornings and the early hours before sunrise.

U – Underwear color: Black or white, nothing fancy

V – Vacation Destination: It would be Hawaii or a horse ranch somewhere in Montana USA.

W – Worst Habit: My eating habits. I eat to not feel hungry anymore. I actually don’t care sometimes what it is and I don't sit down. I eat while walking, doing stable work, reading, posting. Hmmm, and after work I’m very introverted and I don’t like to talk. I might come across very impolite and distant.

X – X-rays: Only a few and mostly during childhood. My last x-ray was taken from my teeth by the dentist to check if there is hidden caries. I was lucky.

Y – Your Favorite Food: I love Thai food and all sorts of dairy products. I love simple stuff, bread, apples, a soup, a stew. I don’t need much. But I have a sweet tooth.

Z – Zodiac Sign : Leo

Okay, I tag @laziestofthedreamers @mcdanno-love-marvey @once-upon-a-freaking-december @adz4995 @mcdannowave @cagdahl @missslothy @bgharison @vanduyn @bookemcaan-o @thekitsuneko

Feel free to skip it guys!

#a to z game #aks game #meme #a-z meme #personal #random #thanks soooo much for tagging me #tari-aldarion #nade2308 #ibelieveinyou-ibelieveinus #@82tweeder #@leeloodmpwrites

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karlitaburrito · 6 years

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Insanity

Pairing: Trevor Collins x Reader

WC: 4,310

Summary: On and Off relationships were something that no one liked but yet you and Trevor have played this game for too long.

Inspiration: 100 Letters by Halsey

Warnings: Angst?

Author’s Note: For like a year now I have been wanting to write again and it’s hard for me to find the motivation to do it again. This is my first fic in years so I would love for some feedback on my writing and how I can improve. This fic is loosely based off of a Halsey song so take it as you will. Enjoy!

As long as you have worked at Rooster Teeth, you have been in an on and off relationship with Trevor. You were originally hired as an editor for Achievement Hunter and back when Trevor was lead editor, he taught you how to work in the office and all the schedules and that’s when you both clicked. There was constant flirting back and forth until he finally asked you out. The beginning of your relationship was honestly amazing. Trevor made you laugh and he was always there for you whenever you needed him and vice versa. Trevor would also do this thing every morning where he would leave you a letter on your desk every morning that would tell you how amazing you are and how he is so lucky to have you and you would keep them in your jean pockets so you can take the letters home.

Things started to go south when you transferred departments from being an editor at AH to being a commentator over at The Know. When Ashley presented the opportunity to you, you just had to take it and when you told Trevor, he seemed happy for you but you knew something was off. He was starting to distance himself from you and he was constantly jealous of some of the guys over at The Know like Jon and Ben. That’s when you broke it off the first time and then a cycle was formed from there. You and Trevor wouldn’t talk for a few weeks maybe two months and then one day you see a letter on your desk with his handwriting and that’s when you cave and take him back. Many people told you to completely break it off because it isn’t healthy for both of you but you just can’t let him go.

One Friday morning, you woke up in Trevor’s bed with his arms wrapped around you after having a movie night with him. We had decided to watch as many Harry Potter movies you guys could before knocking out. You both were only able to watch two and half. You both had just recently gotten back together and this time you’re hoping this will be the one where there will be no break up this time. You didn’t want spend the nights alone again crying on your bathroom floor. You felt his arm hug you tighter meaning Trevor was waking up as well.

“Good morning (Y/N),” he yawned as he gave you a kiss on top of your head. You still feel the same burning sensation every time he kissed you.

“Morning,” you replied back as you untangled yourself from him so you can both start getting ready for work but Trevor’s arm grabbed you before you left the bed.

“No stay here for like 5 more minutes,” he whined as he started to pull you back in and to be honest you just wanted to lay in that bed with him all day but you both had a job to go to.

“You know I would love to but you and I both can’t afford to be late, especially today because you’re on the podcast and I have a bunch of news to pre-record today,” you told him as you finally got out of his grip and start heading over to his drawers to find whatever clothes you have at his place. You heard him groan but he finally got up and headed straight for the shower.

After going through at least four of his drawers, you were only able to find one pair of your jeans. You must’ve cleaned out your stuff during one of the break ups and you just didn’t remember. As you were putting on your pants, you heard a paper crumple in one of your pockets. You took the folded piece of paper out and realize it was one of Trevor’s letters. You don’t even know when this one was given to you because the date and the majority of the letter’s ink is gone from the wash. The only words that made it alive was the last line, “I will love you forever,” and his signature. You smiled finding one of his letters even if it was forgotten in the wash. It’s a reminder of how amazing this relationship can and will be. You put the letter on top of the dresser and then grabbed one of Trevor’s shirts for today.

You heard the water stop running five minutes later and a soaking wet Trevor with only a towel wrapped around his waist comes out. It’s a sight you haven’t seen in awhile and damn did you miss it.

“Have you’ve been working out lately?,” You asked him biting your lip because damn, Trevor is looking pretty great especially his arms. His tight grip that he had on you this morning makes more sense now.

He looked over at you and smirked because of the question, “Yeah I have thank you for noticing,” he responded as walked towards his closet to only take another look at you.

“Isn't that my shirt?” He asked with his eyebrows raised at you. You nodded yes back to him.

“I totally forgot that I took back a bunch of my clothes a while back,” you uttered as you started to look down to the floor. You hated seeing Trevor’s face whenever you mentioned a break up.

After that, it was quite while both of you finished getting ready for work, neither of you said a word until both of you we're in his car on your way to the office.

“(Y/N) listen,” Trevor sighed as you looked at him ready to listen and he continued, “I know we have been doing this for too long and I'm going to assume that you're just as tired of this game like I am. I want it to work this time, and I think we can make it” he grabbed you hand as he ended his statement and gave it a reassuring squeeze in which I squeezed back.

“I love you (Y/N),” he said and it took you by surprise, this is the first time he’s said it in a long time.

“I love you too Trevor, I always have,” you replied as you both pulled into the office.

Later that day, while you were researching for for a story on upcoming DLC for Destiny you were interrupted by an overtly happy Jon Risinger.

“(Y/N) (Y/L/N) are we still a go on our lunch date?” He asked spinning your chair and you mentally face palmed because you forgot to tell Trevor in case he wanted to have lunch with you today.

“Let me see, I have to text Trevor,” you explained and you heard Jon groan as you started to type the message.

“He isn't going to be happy about it and you know that,” he stated and you brushed it off.

“I swear he won't be mad this time, he wants it to be different, he wants to make it work,” you told Jon waiting for Trevor’s response.

“What is this now, like the seventh time that you guys have gotten back together? I'm saying this is as your friend but I don't think it's going to be different this time (Y/N), he is going to get mad and start accusing you of cheating and then you guys break up and everyone here will see you sad until he leaves his apology letter,” Jon theorized and you kept look at your desktop trying to work and not wanting to listen but he continued, “YOur relationship with Trevor is literally where that definition of Insanity comes in, where you do the same thing over and over again, expecting different results each time. You can't keep doing this to yourself (Y/N), I get that you want this relationship but how many times have you've both been hurt?” He asked not really expecting an answer from you but just wanting his his question in your thoughts.

As you were about to respond to Jon, your phone vibseerated and you saw that Trevor responded.

I wanted to have lunch with you today :/ … but if you already promised Jon, then I guess it's fine. You'll just have to make it up to me with dinner :)

You saw that the text has some mixed feelings but Trevor would've never agreed to me having lunch with Jon in the past let alone any male co-worker so you took it as progress.

“Look Jon, Trevor texted back saying it’s okay for us to have lunch, he didn't get mad,” you said as you started to to grab your bag to head out for where ever you were going for lunch.

“Whatever you say (Y/N), let me just get my keys, I’m driving,” Jon said defeated. You didn’t want to think about how Trevor’s text seemed negative but you kept telling yourself that this was progress. Trevor was getting better.

A few weeks had gone by since the day Trevor and you talked in the car and things were interesting to say the least in your relationship. There were regular date nights at Trevor’s place where you guys would have dinner and you would either watch a movie or binge on whatever show you would find on your recommended list from Netflix. You didn’t always stay the night but it has been more common recently that you have stayed over and you started to have at least half of your clothes in his drawers now. He has been putting more effort on seeing you over at The Know’s office and you have also taken the time to walk over to your old office as well and see him at work. He has also been leaving you more of his love letters on your desk when ever you were off recording a news story.

Even though the amount of effort that you both are putting in is way more than it has been in the past, your colleagues still had doubts and you couldn’t blame them. Whenever Trevor came around the office and he sees you do a story with Jon or you’re on an episode of Glitch Please with Adam Ellis, he gets really tense and you can feel his eyes on you like daggers. He isn’t like that when you’re with Mica or Ashely, just the guys. He doesn’t say anything or question your relationship with your co-workers like he has done in the past but you can tell that he wants to. Jon and Ashley keep warning you that this is a sign but as always you just ignore them. He is getting better, at least you hoped.

On Sunday morning when you woke up, you had gotten a text from Ashley inviting you and Trevor to her and Burnie’s for their famous Game of Thrones viewing party. You turned over on the bed to see if first Trevor was even awake and then see if he wants to go to the viewing party. You see that Trevor’s eyes are starting to blink rapidly meaning he is starting to wake up.

“Morning love,” you said as you kissed his cheek which he responded by kissing your lips and as always you felt that burning sensation.

“Good morning, now do you care to explain to me why you are up at,” he paused to check his phone, “at 8:37 in the morning?”

“Ashley texted me that her and Burnie are inviting us to their Game of Thrones viewing party tonight. Do you want to go?” you asked him as you sat up on the bed waiting for his answer.

“That honestly sounds like a fun night, it’s better than us watching here at my place,” He replied getting up stretching out his arms. You smiled at him because going out with your friends was something he wouldn’t have agreed to do before, you text Ashley back saying that both of you will be there.

Later that day, on your way to the party, you were in the passenger seat of Trevor’s car texting some people for The Know who said they were gonna be there when you heard Trevor clear his throat garnering your attention.

“(Y/N), tonight you and I just want to have fun so I just have one thing to ask you for tonight,” he started and you had no idea where he was going with this. He took a deep breath not sure whether or not to continue his question but he continued, “... if any of your male co-workers show up like Jon, Ben, or even Adam, can you please just keep and interactions to a minimum, it would just make me feel better, you understand right?” he finished expecting you to answer right away.

You were in complete shock that Trevor asked you that. Was he actually serious? You looked over at him and you could only see his side since he was focusing on the road, he didn’t see your shocked expression. You want to tell him that he’s insane to even ask that of you but you didn’t want to start this fight. This is how the break up fight starts and lately he has been behaving so much better than he has before in the past. As much as your inner self is telling you that this is the Trevor that you don’t like, but the more you think about how he has been acting and all the effort he has put in the past few weeks, you felt like the least you can do is just do what he i asking for tonight.

“I completely understand, I’ll try to only talk to Ashley and I think she invited Mica as well,” you replied and he sighed out of relief. You should feel relieved too, you just avoided a fight, but you felt uneasy about the whole thing. You just hope that this night will go by fast then.

As you entered the Burns’s residence, you were immediately greeted by a very enthusiastic Ashley who already had an almost empty glass of wine. She offered you some and you declined, you weren’t really in the mood to drink. Trevor went off somewhere with Burnie the minute you guys came in, most likely him just trying to find some beer or food. The episode was about to start and more people were coming in. You saw that Jon was here and you wanted to go say hi and hang out with him because he’s your good friend but you knew Trevor wouldn’t like it if you did.

You decided to go outside and find somewhere to sit and hopefully Trevor will find you. You found a small couch that fits perfectly for two that was behind all the other seating arrangements that were set out in front of the screen. You sat down and took out your phone texting Trevor that you were already sitting down waiting for him. You opened Twitter waiting for him when you felt a weight shift on the couch. You expected it to be your boyfriend but you actually see Jon and his face read that he was concerned.

“You didn’t say hi to me,” he pointed out and you were frozen. You didn’t know where Trevor was and you were scared of his reaction if he saw Jon here.

“I... actually didn’t know you were here,” you lied staring at your phone again so Jon wouldn’t see your face, he can usually tell when you’re lying just from your face.

“You know I can tell when you’re lying right?” he chuckled and you sighed.

“I’m sorry,” you replied and Jon gave you a sympathetic smile.

“I mean, I saw Trevor in the kitchen with Burnie and from the way that you’re acting, I’m going to assume that there is trouble in paradise?” Jon said and you just have no idea how to even respond. You don’t want to admit to him how you were feeling because then any doubts that Jon had about your relationship would ring true and you did not want to hear an ‘I told you so’ right now. Just as you were about to think of something to say, you heard a couch from behind you and you turn your head and there was Trevor with two drinks in his hand. He had a smile but his eyes said something else.

“(Y/N), I didn’t know that we were joing to be sitting with Jon to watch the episode,” He said giving you the drink he most likely made for you.

“We’re not, Jon is just saying hi,” you replied taking a sip. You motioned for Jon to leave the couch but he actually gets more comfortable on the couch.

“Is there something wrong with me joining you two lovebirds?” he asked sarcastically with a sly smile and you just looked at Trevor, not knowing what to do or how to even respond.

“It’s not that there is anything wrong with you sitting with us,” Trevor responded and he paused to take a deep breath and he continued, gritting his teeth, “it’s just, you know, we came here together and so we should sit her together and as you can also see there is no room for all three of us.”

Jon looked at Trevor and then he looked at you and just shook is head. You were so uncomfortable right now and you think Jon picked up on that.

“All three of us know that isn’t the case but I’ll because I can tell that (Y/N) doesn't want me here,” he said getting up and Trevor immediately taking his spot.

Jon turned back and you mouthed 'thank you’ and he gave you a sympathetic smile and then looked back at Trevor and the smile left.

“By the way Trevor, jealousy isn't a good look on you, so I suggest you fix that for the sake of your girlfriend at least,” Jon added before finally going off to find another seat.

Trevor looked at you and he was pissed. You just hid yourself behind your phone just not wanting any of this.

“Did you tell Jon something?” Trevor accused and you just kept ignoring him, waiting for this damn episode to start.

“(Y/N), I'm talking to you, can you show some respect and answer me,” he said irritated and you scoffed at him. Right after he said that Ashley and Burnie announced that episode is starting and that we should quiet down.

“We’ll talk about this at home,” he hissed at you and he diverted his attention to the screen as the Game of Thrones theme song started to play.

After the end of the episode, you and Trevor said your goodbyes. When you said goodbye to Jon, you immediately apologized but he told you that you have nothing to be sorry for. The car ride was quiet and Trevor was holding the steering wheel so tight that his knuckles were white. His eyes never left the road and he had a look that could kill.

The minute you enter his place, Trevor was behind you and he slammed the door and you jumped. You didn't realize how mad he was.

“(Y/N), what the fuck were you and Jon talking about before I showed up?”

“Nothing Trevor, he was honestly just saying hi.”

“I asked for one thing (Y/N), is that you don't talk to them, and you didn't listen,” he stated and that's when you started getting mad.

“Trevor loo-” you started but he cut you off.

“Do you know how much I hate seeing you talk to Jon and every other guy in that office. The way that you guys act around is honestly not oka-”

You interjected because now you were fed up with this bullshit, “Trevor, I'm so fucking tired of this!”

He stopped and looked stunned but you continued, “Do you know how insane our relationship is just because you are insecure about me being in another office that you can't keep an eye on me?! The fact that I’m with you and that I keep getting back together with you should mean that I'm not interested in them!”

“(Y/N),” Trevor sighed and walked closer towards you but you just took a step back.

“I'm not done,” you breathed and took a step back from him, “Someone once told me that our relationship is the definition of insanity,” you paused to breathe and you felt your eyes start fill with tears, “doing the same thing over and over again, expecting a different result each time.” you finished and it this point you let the tears start to flow.

Trevor took a sharp breath and you saw tears start to well up in his eyes.

“(Y/N),” he cautioned and he took a jagged breath in, “what are trying to say?”

You wiped a few tears from your face and you took a good look at Trevor right now. This is actually going to happen. You’re tired of this game, you can't keep this up anymore and you knew Trevor couldn't do this anymore either.

“I'm saying that I'm done, for good,” you stated and Trevor just lost it.

You started to walk over to his bedroom so you can grab a few of your things and Trevor followed you

“(Y/N) please,” he begged as you started to to grab your clothes, “I love you so much and I promise that I will get better this time.”

“Trevor how many times have you promised me that? I actually thought this time would be different but the fact that you asked me to not talk to my friends just means that you haven't changed. I shouldn’t have to avoid my friends to make you happy,” you cried turning back around and facing him.

“I'm so sorry, please don't go (Y/N), you're everything to me,” he cried as as he gently put both of hands on your face as if trying to calm you down.

You looked into his eyes and you can see the pain in his eyes and it matched the pain you felt. A small part of you believes him, Trevor is perfect in every other way; he made you laugh, he had the same interests in you, and he truly felt like your other half. You both kept looking at each other in a comfortable silence. Whenever tears feel from your eyes, Trevor’s thumbs kept wiping them away. You never wanted to leave but you know you had to. Just as you were about to open your mouth to say something, Trevor did something unexpected, he brought his face to yours and kissed you.

At first you didn't kiss back but you eventually gave in. He kissed you with so much passion and you loved every moment of it. You felt his tongue graze your bottom lip asking for entrance and you let him in and you both got lost within the moment. You felt Trevor’s hands move from your face down towards the hem of your shirt and that's when you snapped out of it.

“Trevor,” you breathed out pulling away from him, “I’m being completely serious when I say I can't do this anymore. I love you so much and I would've given you everything, but we have both been hurt too many times,” you concluded and he just looked broken.

You started to grab that last of your things in his room. Once you were sure that you had everything, you went to the kitchen to find your keys. Trevor followed you like a lost puppy and it just hurt you even more to know that this is how it has to be. Once you found your keys, you took one last look at Trevor and the tears started to well up again.

“I'm so sorry that we couldn’t make it work this Trevor.”

He walked up to you and have put his hands on your face again, wiping away your tears once more. He gave you a long kiss on your forehead and you felt his shaky breath against your skin.

“Please don't go away (Y/N),” he whispered against your skin as you closed your eyes just trying not let more tears come out. You really didn't want to leave but it was for the best. You pulled away from him.

“It's too late Trevor,” you said turning back and leaving his home for the last time.

The next morning you showed up to work tired. You didn’t get any sleep last night at your apartment, you had cried all night. You had texted a few people in your office what happened last night just so no one would ask you anything, you were not in the mood to talk to anyone today. As you were walking to your desk, there were sympathetic smiles thrown your way but the last thing you needed were your co-workers’ pity.

When you arrived at your desk, a very familiar but very unexpected envelope was on top of your keyboard with your name written with his handwriting. You sat down grabbing the envelope. It felt heavy in your hands and tears were starting well up. You just took a deep breath while contemplating on whether or not you should open it. If you opened the letter, you knew that this cycle will start again. Even though he promised you that he was going to change, it was a risk you were not willing to take right now. You opened your bottom drawer of your desk and put the letter away in there. There will be a day that you will open the letter, but today was not that day.

#ragehappy #Trevor Collins #trevor collins x reader #trevor/reader ragehappy #ah reader insert #rt reader insert #achievement hunter #my writing #feedback would be nice

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