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#suns end retreat
5sospenguinqueen · 1 month
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Team Betrayal | Red Bull! Reader x Platonic! Grid
Summary: Y/N Y/L/N races for Red Bull but when she's caught out drinking another brand, she enacts her revenge until the Grid outs her snitched.
Apologies but this is a female reader.
Warning: Bad writing. I'm not sure what this is but it was prompted between an energy drink dilemma I had the other day.
There is no timeline for this. Make it up.
Main Masterlist.
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Swiping away the sweat that ran down the back of her neck, Y/N grinned at the camera, drinking in the euphoric energy enveloping her on all sides.
"Thank you for joining us after such a long day." The interviewer beamed, pleased to have been able to catch the Red Bull racer before debrief started. "How're you feeling? You look absolutely drenched."
"Yes. Max thought he was funny tipping the entire can of Red Bull over my head. I'll wash my hair three times and still go home smelling of the stuff." Y/N joked, dabbing the drop of sticky liquid rolling down her forehead.
Pleased that the conversation had naturally developed down that path, the interviewer smirked at the camera before turning their attention back to you. "So, you've been driving for Red Bull for 2 years now? Is it safe to say you're also a big fan of the drink?"
She laughed nervously, unsure why such an odd question was being asked after a Grand Prix. Usually the media used this opportunity to ask how she felt about losing/her teammate winning. Again. "Who isn't?" Y/N joked.
Whipping out her phone, the interviewer (dressed in traitorous McLaren orange) thrust it in front of her face. The grin from Y/N's face instantly dropped as she squinted against the blinding sun. Disbelief painted her face.
"Where did you get that? That's actually me!"
"One of your fellow racers provided it earlier." The interviewer informed, tucking away the damning photo of Y/N drinking a can of Monster Energy, dressed in her Red Bull racing suit and attempting to hide her behaviour behind a laughing Lando Norris.
"Who?!"
"I'm afraid we're not at liberty to say. We promised confidentiality in favour of the photo," teased the interviewer.
"That's my face." Y/N's eyes darkened challengingly. She leaned into the microphone, staring down the camera. "In that case, those boys won't know a moment of peace until I get my answer."
She straightened just as soon after, smile flickering back into place as she heard her name being called. "Oops, I was meant to be in debrief a minute again. Thanks for talking to me. Catch you later!"
"Thank you for your time." The interviewer called after the retreating navy figure. She turned back to the camera. "Ladies and Gentleman, I think it's safe to say that Y/N Y/L/N is as ferocious off the track as she is on it. I don't know about you but I would not want to be a member of the Grid this evening."
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The interview went viral.
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YourUserName this you? (She retweeted with a pic of Lando wearing a Monster Energy hat, a can of Red Bull in hand)
→ LandoNorris no.
User 1 not Lando deliberately lying about his own face
User 2 oh, no. Lando. What have you started?
User 3 not me checking my phone every 2 seconds to see if Y/N has posted after she vowed vengence.
→ Your User Name 👀👀
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User 4 don't drag poor Maxie into this. He's always seen drinking Red Bull.
User 5 she never was good enough for the team, hope they drop her after this.
User 6 may as well just go to McLaren with how much time she spends with them.
OscarPiastri just a warning. I can hear her laughing evilly next door.
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YourUserName so just to clear a few things up. I have never bought a Monster Energy in my life.
YourUse Name i am always supplied with them by people who are attempting to remain innocent in this scandal.
PierreGASLY yeah, well. My shoes are cleaner than yours so...
→ LandoNorris you sure showed her.
User 7 not the Grid coming for my girl only to end up fighting for their lives.
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User 8 coming for his teammate
User 9 not the whole Grid teasing her for betraying Red Bull
User 10 always knew Max didn't like them. This just confirms
YourUserName not you too. You said you had my back
→ Max33Verstappen this is why you didn't get on the podium
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Max33Verstappen not my babies?!
→ YourUserName i may not have a podium but I do have your cats.
→ Charles_Leclerc you're making this worse for yourself
→ YourUserName watch out or Leo's next
→ Charles_Leclerc *horrified gasp*
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User 11 alex fighting for his innocence.
User 12 the Grid are feeding us tonight.
User 13 what's the odds that they're fighting for their lives in the gc?
User 14 bet they're compiling a list of times they gave her Monster
→ User 15 trying to figure out who might be next
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User we found the snitch
User 2 anyone else see Red Bull lurking in the likes?
LandoNorris @ danielricciardo this is why she didn't respond
Max33Verstappen daniel's currently crying.
redbullracing christian said you have a meeting with PR tomorrow.
→ YourUserName crap.
User 3 can we take a moment to appreciate all the Grid content we got this evening?
→ User 4 and look at how quick Y/N's responses were. Boo was ready for them.
→ User 5 what are the odds they were all sitting next to their phones, terrified every time it buzzed
→ lilymhe can confirm.
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krkiiz · 5 months
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sly swordsman . luke castellan x reader
luke decides to distract you by confessing in the middle of a duel
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luke castellan x f!reader , reader is the daughter of apollo , luke being head over heels , confessions , fluff , slight teasing
note : sorry if there are lots of mistakes, i wrote this on my phone with nail extensions and it’s so hard to type pls help 😭😭 apologies for grammars n errors, i’ll edit them tmrw hehe (also this is my first time writing pjo n fight scenes so i hope it’s decent!)
let me know your thoughts ! likes, reblogs, and comments appreciated <3
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“Let’s go Kayla! Beat his ass!” Shout one of your fellow half-siblings along with boos from the opposing side.
Clanking of swords can be heard from miles away. Today the children of Hermes and Apollo are scheduled to a joint swordsmanship practice. Where the two cabins will have to engage on a 1v1 duel against another.
Right now stands in the center of the battlefield is your half sister Kayla, along with one of Hermes’ son. Kayla is known to be a skilled archer just like any of Apollo’s children. But that doesn’t mean she can’t beat the swift son of Hermes.
The battle ends her sword pointed right at his throat as he gives a sign of defeat to his opponent. The children of Apollo cheers with glee as they congratulate their half sister.
The two retreat, their places soon replaced by none other than their head counselors. Luke and you approach the center of the battlefield as your fellow half-siblings watch in anticipation.
It is so secret that Luke is an outstanding swordsman. As his skills rivals Ares and Athena’s children themselves, you knew he was a challenging opponent.
Well that’s a good thing you love challenges.
“I admit my defeat on our archery battle last week. But now, let me show you how good I am with the blade, Yn.” He smirks as the two of you start circling one another.
“Must’ve hurt your ego, Castellan.” A chuckle left your lips like honey and Luke suppresses the butterflies swarming in his stomach.
“Let’s see how good you really are, Son of Hermes.”
The two of you got in your positions, fingers tightly gripping on the sword and the shield, waiting for a sign to charge.
The hornet blows and Luke wastes no time to charge forward. The point of his blade almost piercing the epidermis of your skin before you block him with your own sword.
Luke knows better than to underestimate you. Sure, you are the daughter of the god of Archery, not swordsmanship. But everyone knows that you are an outstanding dancer and you treat the battlefield like it is your stage.
Your movements swift and laced with elegance. It’s always extremely difficult to predict your next moves. Your footing carefully calculated as you deflect all of his upcoming attacks.
Luke is also quick to encounter your offense as he blocks the side your blade that was aiming at his neck.
With such close proximity, Luke can see how the sun compliments your e/c irises. Complimenting every contrast and detail of the pupil.
Gods were your eyes always this beautiful? Were you always this beautiful?
Luke feels himself caught in a trance just for a second before earning back his composure. But one second is enough for you trip his leg leading him to fall right on his back as he looses his grip on his sword.
The sides of your blade nearly makes contact with his neck as you lay above him giving him a look of triumph.
“Yn, have I told you how beautiful you look on top of me right now?” The boy starts causing you to roll your eyes and scoff at his antics.
“Yeah, try again because that’s not going to work on me, Luke.” You press the blade against his adam’s apple causing him to wince slightly.
The crowd wonders on what was happening and why hasn’t Luke gave a sign of defeat knowing well that being under your sword doesn’t give him a good chance at winning.
They fail to see how his right hand is slowly reaching discreetly trying to get ahold of his fallen blade.
Luke lets out a lighthearted chuckle, his eyes never leaving yours. “I like you, Yn. Let’s go on a date.”
Now this caught you off guard. “What?”
The sly swordsman took your state to his advantage as he unclasps his knee from your hold and flipped your positions, your sword disregard in the process.
With his blade firm in his right hand, now it’s his turn to reside his sword against your neck, just like you did to him a few seconds ago.
You try fighting back but he just tuts and starts applying more pressure to his blade before you finally give the sign of defeat.
The Hermes cabin roared with glee congratulating their win, knowing that their head counselor will never fail them.
Luke quickly stands his ground giving you a helping hand, in which you accepted with a smile. He pulls you up against him, the sudden movement made you loose your footing but he’s quick to steady you with his free hand placed on your waist.
“So, about that date.”
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©️ sirena | krkiiz 2023
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mimicmimikyuwrites · 2 months
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The Sin of Lust - Lucifer (Hazbin Hotel) x Fem!Reader SMUT
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Summary: You confide in Lucifer about just how unsatisfied your husband, Adam, is leaving you. Lucifer decides to show you a whole new, much more pleasurable side of things, a side that leaves you wanting even more of it.
Contents/Possible Warnings: Cheating (Reader is cheating on Adam w/ Lucifer), Side Adam x Reader, Religious themes, Religious guilt/shame, Cunnilingus, Masturbation, Fingering, P in V sex, cream pie, unprotected sex, multiple orgasms, SMUT, MDNI, this shit is depraved in a good way 😊
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Your favorite spot in the whole of Eden was a small clearing no different from the rest of the garden. It was hidden away just enough that your husband, Adam, didn't know of its existence; making it your little getaway spot. You'd come here often, especially on days like today; days where Adam was more annoying than usual.
It was your duty and sole reason for creation to serve him, and you were trying your best to show thanks to your Lord by fulfilling your purpose, but it was growing harder and harder every day. Adam wasn't a bad person at his core, but he was insufferable in more ways than one. He was arrogant, felt he was better than you simply because he had a dick, and constantly treated you like you were useless unless it came to sex.
Sex with your husband was okay, and that was all it was, just okay. It wasn't horrible, sometimes it felt nice, but Adam always left you unsatisfied; longing for something more that you couldn't identify. That's how it was last night, and that's how you were sure it'd be again today. That's why you retreated to where you were now.
You sat on the soft grass, basking in the comfortable silence that came with the lack of your husband's presence. All days were nice in Eden, but today was even more so; with the sun bathing you in the perfect amount of warmth and the melodic chirping of birds filling the air. You wished it could stay like this forever, but you knew all good things must eventually meet their end.
Sooner than later you'd have to return Adam, knowing that if you were gone too long he'd come looking for you. You were dreading it, to say the least. Maybe you could pretend to be sick tonight? Or maybe you could go to sleep early? Or maybe you—
"Adam's looking for you, y'know."
You turned your head toward the voice, spotting God's most beautiful angel himself: Lucifer. You had hoped you would see him. The Lord's angels weren't supposed to mingle with humans in the way Lucifer had always mingled with you; your meetings had always been a secret that you two kept under lock and key, both of you not wanting to know the outcome of his fellow angels, or your husband, catching you two.
"Lucifer!" You exclaimed happily, looking up at him as he hovered in the air, gorgeous ivory white wings holding him up. You opened your arms, and he came down, warmly embracing you. He tilted your chin up before pressing a loving kiss to your lips; it felt like it had been years since you last kissed him, even though it had merely been days.
"I missed you." He said, affectionately tucking back a stray lock of your hair. "Heaven's not the paradise it's supposed to be without you to be there with me." You smiled at his comment before the words he said earlier finally sunk in.
"Adam's looking for me? Fuck, I've been away too long." This was bad, really bad. You had never been gone long enough for Adam to go searching for you. He was going to ask questions, and you knew you couldn't answer them, at least not honestly.
"Don't worry, I 'helpfully' suggested he go in the opposite direction," Lucifer reassured you with an almost mischievous grin. Relief filled you, he had bought you more than enough time. "Thank you, Luci." You smiled, sitting back down on the grass, patting the spot next to you. Lucifer joined you, holding your hand in his after he had sat.
"I know you like your time away from Adam, but you've been away from him longer than usual. Is something bothering you? Did he do something...?" Lucifer questioned, voice soft and laced with concern. You nervously bit your lip, unsure of how to approach the topic without being too overwhelmingly blunt.
"I...." You began, pausing to take a deep breath, almost embarrassed by what you were going to say next. "I don't want to have sex with him, not today. Or ever." You admitted, shame filling you.
You were meant to fulfill your Husband's desires, it was why you were created. You already felt guilty about avoiding him today, along with your boundary-pushing relationship with Lucifer, so to finally verbalize how you had been feeling felt like you had just sinned in the worst way imaginable. You were failing to fulfill your sole reason for living.
"He leaves me unsatisfied, yearning for something more. I know it's selfish of me, I know it's downright sinful, but I wish that I could feel the same amount of pleasure Adam feels for just once in my life, even if its not needed for me to get pregnant." You refused to meet Lucifer's gaze. The angel had always been a good-intentioned rule-breaker, but at the end of the day, he was still an angel. One of the beings meant to carry out your creator's will, and your creator willed that you be submissive to your husband and birth his children.
Lucifer must be disgusted.
The last thing you expected was for him to begin pressing gentle kisses to your neck and collarbone, something you weren't entirely unfamiliar with, just not from him. It was the same thing Adam did to signal he wanted you, albeit Adam's kisses were much more hurried and sloppier; nowhere near as delightful as Lucifer's.
"L-Lucifer..." You breathed out, letting him lay you down and begin kissing lower and lower, all the way until his head was at your thighs. He placed his hands on them, but before he did anything, he looked up at you. "May I?" He asked, catching you off guard.
"W–What?" You stuttered in response. Your only other experience was with Adam, and while he knew that 'no' meant 'no', he was certainly more commanding than Lucifer was being right now.
"I need to know that you want this," Lucifer explained, lightly kissing the outside of your thigh. "I'm not him. You don't need to feel pressured into anything. I want you to be the one who feels good for once, yeah?"
You hesitated. Kissing Lucifer was one thing, but this was another; there'd be no going back from this. It felt wrong, it was wrong, but at the same time your desire for the man who made you feel things your husband never could was quickly overtaking you. You didn't just want this, you craved it. You needed it.
"Show me, Lucifer," You finally said, giving in, spreading your legs for him. "Show me what I've been missing out on." Lucifer placed a kiss on your inner thigh, dangerously close to your wet sex, before diving in like an animal starved. The feeling of his tongue licking at your cunt ignited a newfound ecstasy within you, your legs beginning to quiver not too long into it.
Your hands gripped at the grass beneath you, only got him to grab them, leading them to his hair. You grabbed at it instictively, pulling at the locks, eliciting a low moan from him; the vibrations sending a wave of pleasure coursing through you.
"Lucifer!" You cried out, feeling him sucking on your clit. You slapped a hand over your mouth, trying to muffle the lewd noises escaping you; as if it would lessen the sin of the act you were committing. His mouth left your needy pussy, his fingers replacing it soon after.
"No no no," He cooed, using his free hand to uncover your mouth. "Let me hear those sweet sounds you're making. Let me know how good you feel." You threw your head back with a pleasured whine as he curled his fingers inside of you, hitting a spot deep within you that had you seeing stars.
"Fuck—Your mouth, use your mouth—" You gasped, pulling his head back down, guiding him to where you needed him most by tugging at his hair. His fingers continued to fuck into you while his tongue lapped at whatever it could, the angel becoming drunk on your taste. His hand left your cunt, joining his other hand in locking your thighs in place as your legs trembled from the sensation of him going down on you.
"Close—So fucking close! Don't stop!" You pleaded. The impending feeling of orgasm was something you had felt before, but never before had you reached its climax; at least not until now. With one more 'come hither' motion of your lover's fingers, you were cumming for the first time in your life, your toes curling and a primal noise leaving you. He helped you ride out the waves of your orgasm, licking at your drenched sex, drinking up the juices of your climax until you couldn't take anymore, pushing his head away in a desperate attempt to escape the growing overstimulation.
Lucifer pulled away, eyes half-lidded and filled with mixed satisfaction and lust, your slick covering the corners of his mouth and fingers. He made a show of licking it off, moaning at the taste as it reached his tongue.
You let a content sigh, coming down from the absolute ecstasy you had experienced just moments prior. The feeling of contentment didn't last for long as you saw the bulge in Lucifer's pants; a sight that reignited the desires you had started with. To say he had done a good job would've been an understatement, but after finally witnessing just how amazing sex could feel, you knew you needed more.
You crawled into his lap, straddling him as you kissed, tasting yourself on his lips. You grinded down on him, and he separated from the kiss to let out a small groan. You continued your movements, feeling his cock growing harder through the fabric of his pants.
"Wait," He told you, placing his hands on your forearms in a signal for you to stop. You halted your actions, eyes widened in worry, and a blush creeping onto your face; scared you may have done something wrong. Did he not want you...?
"Hey, relax," He soothed, rubbing your arms comfortingly, taking notice of how you tensed up. "Do you want this? You're not obligated to return the favor or anything like that." You nodded in response. It was true, you wanted him more than anything. "I need you, need you so much." You rubbed down against him once more. "I need you inside of me, I need you to fuck me."
He smirked at your words, he had waited far too long to hear you say that. How many nights had he spent fucking into his hand, pretending it was your tight pussy, a hand clamped over his mouth so he wouldn't be caught by his fellow angels? To hear those words, so lewd and sinful, spill out of those perfect lips of yours sounded like music to his ears.
"I'm here to fulfill every single desire you have, honey." He purred, moving your hands down to the waistband of his pants. You pulled them down swiftly, his cock springing out. God, it was a sight to behold. You bit your lip, already imagining it inside of you; the leaky tip parting your folds, teasing you before finally thrusting in, the thickness of it stretching you out, and the length reaching that same sweet spot his fingers had touched earlier. It was everything you had ever wanted.
Your hands rested on his shoulders as he lined the tip up with your dripping cunt, giving you the honor of actually putting it in. You sunk down, sliding it in with ease. You moaned at the way he stretched you out, just as you imagined he would. His hands found your hips as you began to bounce on his cock, moans leaving you both.
You used him like you would a toy, something he had no problem with. You were lost in your own lust, focused purely on your pleasure; just the way Lucifer wanted it. There were no expectations placed on you except to put yourself first, to feel good for once. Lucifer wanted you to use him, and so you did.
"Fuck yes!" You cried, increasing your pace, the sound of skin on skin filling the air. Lucifer cursed, holding onto your hips hard enough to bruise. He moved one to your clit, rubbing at it, finding enjoyment in the way you threw your head back in ectasy at the combined sensations.
Your orgasm was sudden and caught you by surprise, your body trembling as it coursed through you. Your climax triggered his, and he spilled into you, warm cum filling you deep.
You pulled him in, lips finding his, pouring all of your love and passion for him into the kiss. You continued to kiss him sweetly as both of your orgasms subsided, enjoying the feeling of him still buried inside of you. That itch for more still resonated deep inside of you, and you were determined to satisfy it, even if it meant giving in to more and more of your sins.
Lucifer laid you down, lips never leaving yours as he began to move again; the same lustful urges having overtaken him as well. A second round turned into a third, and so on. You continued until you couldn't anymore, exhaustion being only what remained, and the day turning to night. All good things must come to an end, and eventually you bid Lucifer farewell.
Although you ended up bathing away the physical proof, your sin still remained as you returned to your husband.
"Where the FUCK have you been!?" Adam shouted upon seeing you, and you only ignored him, moving past the man and towards where you slept. Lucifer had awoken something within you, something equal parts liberating and devious. He had shown you a new world of possibilities, and you were more than ready to continue indulging in them.
The sins you had committed during your day were just the first of many, and you couldn't have been happier.
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daryl-dixon-daydreams · 2 months
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Words: 6,924 Pairing: Daryl Dixon x Reader Reader pronouns: she/her Era: the prison Warnings: language, mild gore (killing walkers), really none! it's mostly fluff! Summary: Daryl realizes how touch-starved he's been and exactly who he wants to satisfy that with. Really just sweet, vulnerable Daryl.[he is baby in this fic 100%]
Daryl startled awake, shooting straight up on his bed.
“Wow! Sorry! I was trying to wake you up gently!”
He looked up at her with a steely glare. Then he let out a sigh and his shoulders slumped, the frantic alarmed feeling passing quickly as he realized it was just Carol. “The hell ya wakin’ me up for at all? I didn’t fall asleep until the sun was nearly up,” he growled, swinging his legs down over the edge of the bed and planting his feet on the floor. He still had his boots on.
She gave him a sympathetic look. “Sorry… but I really could use a hand. The water line is clogged up with mud again. The others are going to keep the herd on the fence occupied and thin the numbers down while I try to clear it. I could use you to watch my back.”
Daryl nodded. “Yeah. Yeah, alrigh’. Just gimme a few minutes. I’ll meet ya out in the yard.”
“Okay, Pookie” she teased him, smiling. She reached to affectionately smooth a hand over his tousled hair but he deflected it hurriedly and shot her another look that made her laugh. “I’ll see you in a minute,” she chuckled.
“Yeah, go on and get outta here… Pain in my ass,” he grumbled, climbing to his feet.
As Carol’s footsteps retreated outside his cell, he glanced at his reflection in the cracked mirror hanging on the cell wall. His hair was a mess and he did what he could to hastily smooth it with his hands before abandoning the effort with a grunt. He hurriedly grabbed his crossbow and fixed his knife in its sheath at his hip. Relacing his boots to make sure they were tight, he called it good and made his way through the prison.
As he stepped outside into the sunlight, he could already see that things were busy despite the early morning hour. Rick and Carl were in the garden plots with Hershel and everyone else seemed to either be chopping and stacking firewood or working down on the fence. It was rare for Daryl not to be the first one awake and it left him feeling off-balance. He hadn’t been sleeping hardly at all and it must have finally added up to pure exhaustion since he’d actually caught a few hours until Carol woke him.
His blue eyes, squinted against the light, searched for you out of subconscious habit. He spotted you alongside Glenn and Maggie on the fence. He felt his heart skipping a beat.
The gravel crunched under his boots as he headed to meet Carol who was waiting at the gate that led to the alleyway between the fences. She greeted him with a tight smile. “Ready?”
“Yep. Good to go,” he replied.
Carol opened the gate and Daryl followed her in. Soon they were passing by you, Glenn, and Maggie putting down walkers through the chainlink.
“Are you alright, Daryl?” Maggie called out, shading her eyes with a gloved hand. “I thought maybe you were sick or somethin’,” she said.
“Yeah, unusual for any of us to be up before you,” Glenn agreed, leaning on the metal rod in his hand.
“Christ, ev’rybody’s got somethin’ to say about it,” Daryl retorted. “Can’t a man get a couple hours of sleep for once?”
You turned after putting down a particularly large and loud walker, gore dripping off the end of the sharpened makeshift spear in your hand and you wiped at the stray strands of your hair that were sticking to your face with your arm. You skin was already glistening with sweat despite it being far from the hottest part of the day. You smiled at Daryl, squinting against the sun. “I didn’t say anything,” you laughed.
“Yeah, well thanks for that,” Daryl said, meeting your eyes. “Yer the only damn one…” He gulped, always a little nervous when your full attention was on him.
“Alright, alright,” Carol said, laughing. “I think we’ve teased poor Daryl enough for actually sleeping. Just keep the herd down this end, away from the water line, okay? We’re heading out to clear it now.”
You all nodded and returned to the task at hand. Daryl couldn’t help glancing back at you over his shoulder a few times, until he slipped out of the hole to the outside behind Carol and closed it back up behind him, lacing the sturdy wire back through the fencing and pulling it tight.
Carol pulled the water line up out of the creek and began twisting apart sections of it to clear out the mud and muck. “Yuck… no wonder we were hardly pulling any water in,” she said, shaking a particularly large chunk of red Georgia clay out of the nozzle.
“Mhm,” Daryl hummed, chewing on his bottom lip. His eyes scanned the surrounding tall grass and trees for any approaching stray walkers, but he found that they continually seemed to return to you on the fence almost on their own.
“Hey. Hey!” Carol was suddenly laughing. “Did you hear me?”
“Huh?” Daryl’s eyes snapped back to her. “Sorry.”
She cocked an eyebrow at him and a small, perhaps slightly knowing, smile curved her lips. “Distracted?” she asked.
He shifted. “Are ya done?”
Carol laughed to herself again and dusted off her hands. “Yeah, I think so.” She walked back to the stream with the end of the hose and dropped it back into the creek. “So, what are your plans for the rest of the day?” she asked as the two of them started back up the slope toward the fence.
Daryl shrugged. “Dunno. Maybe work on my bike. Probably due for a tune-up,” he drawled, slinging his crossbow back over his shoulder.
She nodded. “Sorry I woke you up. I was shocked you were still sleeping to be honest. I waited around a bit but—"
“Nah, s’alrigh’. I probably needed to get up anyway,” he replied, glancing ahead toward the fence again. The herd of walkers was dwindling with the efficient work of you and the others but the bodies were piling up on the outside now. Clean-up duty would be needed.
“Well, you should head inside and eat something,” Carol said. “I know you haven’t had anything yet today.”
He ran a hand back through his hair and nodded. “Yeah… maybe in a bit. I think ‘m gonna start pilin’ up those carcasses. We’ll need to burn ‘em later and it ain’t no good havin’ ‘em up against the fence, attractin’ new walkers.”
Carol stopped. “Oh. Yeah, true. I’ll help. Looks like they’re about done anyway,” she said.
He nodded and they strode over, dew down in the longer tufts of grass wetting their boots and hems. There were maybe six walkers left clawing at the fence and they were quickly cut down to three as he and Carol approached on the outside. Daryl pulled his gloves from his back pocket and tugged them on as Carol walked over, watching the last upright body fall onto the pile a moment later.
“How’s the water line?” you asked, gripping the fence, the tips of your fingers poking through.
“Should be all cleared out now,” Carol said. “Nice work,” she said, referring to the pile of bodies at her feet. “Daryl and I will start pulling these away from the fence and piling them to be burned.”
“Alright. I’ll come help,” you said, setting down the metal rod you’d been wielding and briefly wiping at the sweat glistening on your forehead with your forearm again.
“You sure? You’ve done more than your fair share of hard labor today,” Carol said. “Looks like Maggie and Glenn are already heading back up to rest.”
“Yeah, it’s alright. I don’t mind,” you said. “It’ll go faster with three of us.”
“Alright. Come on out! Thanks,” Carol said, giving you a grateful smile.
You nodded and hurried to let yourself out the makeshift opening to the outside. Daryl had already dragged away four bodies in the time it took for you to make your way over. You offered him a wide smile that had his heart jumping and he paused before he grabbed another walker, lacing the fingers of his gloves together in a nervous gesture. “Ya alrigh’?” he drawled. “Ya ain’t gotta help with this. Ya did a lot of work on them from the other side,” he said. Your cheeks and chest were flushed red with heat and effort and the cotton of your t-shirt was clinging to your damp skin.
You shrugged. “I’m all good. It’ll get done sooner this way,” you said. He watched your eyes flickering up over his face a couple times and he became suddenly self-conscious.
He cleared his throat. “What?”
You laughed lightly. “Oh—it’s just—you’ve got this one piece of hair sticking up—it’s been defying gravity since you first came out here. I’m just a little surprised it’s still hanging in there,” you joked. You pulled your gloves off and stepped up to him. “It’s just sticking straight up,” you laughed again, attempting to smooth it gently.
An electric shiver ran up Daryl’s back as your fingers combed through his hair. “What’s it matter?” he drawled, attempting to sound gruff and not what he was actually feeling… which was completely jittery. “Ain’t like ‘m tryin’ to win a beauty contest out here.”
“Oh, so you want to be a unicorn? Got it,” you teased him, redoubling your efforts and using both hands and your fingernails to try to combat the stray strand, but it only sprung right back up. You laughed again, your eyes crinkling at the corners. A fluttery feeling burst between Daryl’s lungs. You sighed and shook your head, stepping back and crossing your arms, surveying him. “Nope. Won’t cooperate. I guess you are stuck as a wild unicorn today,” you said. “At least until it comes in contact with a wet comb.”
“Comb? I dunno if I’ve even got one of those,” he joked. “Thanks for tryin’,” Daryl said, half-sarcastically. You only flashed him another grin. You pulled your gloves back on and headed back to the fence to grab a walker. Carol stopped beside Daryl and he grabbed the body she was dragging by the ankles and helped her swing it onto the newly-formed pile. She gave him an appraising look when she stood up, her eyebrows lifting slightly. “What?” he asked.
“No, nothing,” she said, smiling vaguely. But it certainly wasn’t lost on her that when she had attempted to ruffle his hair, her hand had been pushed away brusquely.
Daryl ducked his head and went back to work. You were still at the fence when he walked up beside you. You were attempting to untangle a disgusting mass of limbs to pull a single walker out. Your nose wrinkled and you let out a noise of disgust. “I don’t think I will ever get used to the smell of them,” you mused aloud.
Daryl looked up, about to respond, but suddenly your feet went out from under you and you were landing hard on your back, all the breath pushed out of your body. “Y/N!”
There was a surprisingly strong hand that had emerged from the pile of bodies gripping your ankle and low, muffled growls emanated from a walker beneath the heap that was not quite dead.
Daryl jumped into action immediately, stomping his boot down onto the grasping arm until it released you and then quickly tugging you away by gripping you under the arms. He collapsed down on the ground behind you and you came to rest partially against him, still gasping for air as your lungs had not yet returned to normal, still seized up from the fall. You found yourself completely unaware that you were laying back against his chest as you just focused on trying to breathe. Daryl didn’t dare move.
Carol came running over at full speed. “Oh my God! Are you okay?!”
All you could do was nod urgently, unable to talk still. You pressed a hand to your chest and willed your lungs to start drawing in air again. Your heart was pounding.
“Fucker didn’t scratch ya ,did he? Please, tell me he didn’t…” Daryl gasped. “Carol, check her ankles quick!”
Carol quickly bent over you and looked, sighing with relief. “No, she’s clean.”
It was about that time that your lungs started working again and you realized you were sort of on top of Daryl. “Oh, shit,” you breathed, sitting up and turning. “I’m sorry. I—I’m leaning on you,” you said hurriedly.
Daryl shook his head, his brow still furrowed deeply. “S’alrigh’. Are ya okay? Ya sure?”
You nodded, trying hard to slow your breathing and heart rate. “I’m okay. Just startled me more than anything.”
Daryl climbed to his feet and offered you his hand. He pulled you up. You both watched as Carol kicked a body aside and plunged her knife into the head of the walker that had grabbed you and was still moving. “Got him,” she said, straightening up, her knife dripping blood onto the grass.
It was then that you realized your hand was still in Daryl’s. He hadn’t let go. You could feel the calluses on his palms from digging with the shovels the week before and the calluses on his fingertips from drawing back his crossbow. His thumb was closed gently over the back of your hand. He seemed to have realized then that the moment had passed when he should have relinquished his gentle hold on you and he suddenly drew back, wiping his hand on his pants as if that would rid it of the electric tingle on his palm. “Are ya sure yer okay?” he asked again.
“Fine. I’m fine… just knocked the wind out of me for a minute,” you said.
“How was that one not dead?” he growled, moving to peer down at the body.
“Here,” Carol said, pointing at the neck. “Looks like whoever was trying to put it down just missed the back of head.”
Daryl straightened up, looking worried still. “We’ll have to remind ev’rybody to be more careful on the fence. What if somebody had gotten bit ‘cuz that fucker wasn’t quite dead?”
“It could’ve been my fault,” you said quickly. “I was working the fence too.”
“Well, I doubt ya need the reminder now,” Daryl said seriously, giving you a concerned look. You only nodded. “Look, why dun ya just head back up to the prison for a bit. Get outta the sun and get some water.”
You cocked your head as you looked at him. “What? No,” you laughed. “You think that’s enough to scare me off? Hell no, Dixon,” you said, already smiling at him again. “Let’s get this shit done.”
Carol smiled and shrugged. “You heard her, Dixon,” she teased, leaning down to grab another corpse by the wrists and pull it away.
The pile moved away from the fence and ready to be burned, you and Carol were about to start back to the prison when there was a rustling in the brush nearby. A scraggly looking walker wandered out and started toward the group of you, reaching up with hands that were missing several fingers.
Daryl unsheathed his knife with a well-practiced movement. “I got it,” he said, jogging over to put it down with a skillful stab to the head. He paced back, wiping his knife on his pants. “I’ll ask Rick where he put the gas/oil mixture for burnin’ this later. Ain’t no reason we gotta do it in this sun. Let’s head back up,” he drawled.
You nodded in agreement and pulled your gloves off, glancing at him with a half-smile. “Hey, do you have your bandana on you?” you asked.
“Mhm,” he said pulling it out from his back pocket and offering it to you. “Why?”
You took it, stepped in close to him, and dabbed at a spray of blood on the side of his neck from the walker he’d just put down, wiping it away. “You didn’t feel it?” you laughed. “Apparently it was a juicy one.” You held his bandana out to him again.
“Thanks,” he said, feeling his face flush a little with heat. He noticed Carol watching the interaction with that same vague smile on her face. He ducked his head and cleared his throat. “Alrigh’. Let’s head back inside them fences… One close call is more than enough for today.”
_ _ _ _ _ _
When Daryl saw you again in a few hours, he could tell you’d cleaned up after your morning shift on the fence. Your hair was down, framing your face and was shining in the sun. There was no more sweat or grime clinging to your skin anymore. You waved as you caught his eyes already on you and he gulped as you made your way over.
Daryl, on the other hand, was still just as filthy as he had been when you all left the pile of walkers outside the fence behind, perhaps moreso. His hands were covered in oil and grime from working on his bike. He felt suddenly self-conscious as you stopped beside him in your fresh clothes.
“I was looking for you,” you said.
“Me?” Daryl straightened up next to his bike.
“Yeah. Carol said you haven’t eaten anything all day,” you said pointedly, your eyebrows lifting.
He shrugged. “Just ain’t gotten around to it yet, I guess,” he drawled, fiddling with the tool in his hands.
“I see. You’re just entirely too busy to take care of yourself?” you retorted. As you talked, you reached out and wiped away a smudge of oil on his forearm casually.
Daryl, however, couldn’t be casual about the spark he’d just felt from that little touch of your fingertip. It jumped up to his arm and seemed to have made its way to his heart, because it was now racing. He gulped.
“Well, what if I fix you a bowl of something and bring it out? You worked hard this morning. You should eat,” you said, cocking your head at him. “We can’t have you suddenly passing out out here and faceplanting onto the cement,” you teased him.
He fixed his blue eyes on you for a long moment. “Ya ain’t gotta do that. ‘M almost done out here. I can come in and—”
You grabbed his arm again and Daryl almost stepped backwards from the way his body seemed to react to your touch again. It was nearly overwhelming. “Daryl, what I asked was if you would eat it if I brought it out. It’s a simple question,” you said, shooting him a playful look. “So?” Your hand was still on his arm. It was light and gentle, but he could feel the softness of your skin. He stared at it for a long second and then managed to clear his throat enough to respond. “Y—yeah, I’d eat it, I guess.”
“Good,” you said, nodding. “I’ll be right back then.” You disappeared back inside.
Rick happened to wander by carrying the gas can for burning the pile of walkers just a minute later. Daryl was bent over his bike, muttering expletives under his breath. “Ho—watch out!” Rick said suddenly, and Daryl shot up as he felt Rick’s hand brush his back.
Daryl jumped, spun around, and shook him off. “What the hell, man?” Daryl growled.
Rick laughed and held his hand up, palm out. “Sorry! You had a huge horsefly on your back! You’re welcome.” He shook his head. “With that reaction next time I might just let you get bit,” Rick joked.
Daryl shook his head. “Sorry. Ya just startled me is all.”
“It’s alright,” Rick replied. “I’ll go take care of those bodies.” He gestured with the gas can.
Daryl nodded. “Alrigh’. Be careful out there. Fire will probably bring more of ‘em in.”
“I’ll take Glenn out with me,” Rick said, and then he was off.
A moment later you were back with a bowl of food for him. It was some kind of noodles with some venison and a few fresh tomatoes from the garden. “Alright. Break time, Daryl,” you demanded. “I need to make sure you actually eat, since apparently you won’t.”
Daryl tugged his bandana from his back pocket and mopped at the oil on his skin the best he could.
You set the bowl in his hands and your fingertips brushed his skin. You didn’t seem to notice. For Daryl it was impossible not to. “Thanks,” he murmured, grabbing a seat on a nearby concrete block.
“No problem.” You came and sat down next to him, sighing good-naturedly and looking out over the green grass of the yard. Rick was just lighting up the pile of walkers outside the fence. A breeze was blowing the tops of the trees around, sending the leaves fluttering and changing their hues. Fluffy clouds drifted by lazily.
Daryl dragged a hand across his mouth. “Mmm. S’good. Thanks,” he murmured, hurriedly taking another bite. He hadn’t realized how hungry he was until he’d started eating.
You smiled at his voracious eating habits and leaned your chin on your hand, your elbow propped on your knee. You reached over again with your free hand and attempted to smooth that same stubborn strand of his hair that had been sticking up all day. Goosebumps rose up Daryl’s back.
“Thought ya gave that up as a lost cause,” Daryl said through a mouthful, holding absolutely still while your fingers were in his hair.
“I did. Was just… I don’t know,” you shrugged, smiling. “I kind of like it.”
He shot you a look like you were crazy.
“What?” you laughed. “It’s endearing!”
“Yer nuts,” he joked, ducking his head again and turning back to his food. He didn’t see you biting your bottom lip as you looked at him, a fond and soft light in your eyes.
_ _ _ _ _ _
That evening, most of the group was gathered around a bonfire out in the yard. You’d all roasted scraps of venison from a deer Daryl had shot the day before, supplemented with vegetables from the garden and everyone was full and happy. Carol was rocking Judith and cooing over her. Maggie, Glenn, and Beth were playing a rowdy game of cards. Rick and Carl seemed content to watch the people they loved enjoying themselves and you and Hershel were off to one side talking about plans for fall crops when cool season time rolled around again.
Daryl was the only one who had wandered away by himself and seemed to be standing watch on one of the guard platforms. You noticed his broad-shouldered silhouette against the sky and excused yourself.
He turned at the sound of steps on the rattling metal stairs and straightened up when he saw you come around the corner.
You looked up and smiled at him and his heart jumped. “Hey,” you greeted him.
“Hey. Everythin’ alrigh’?” he asked.
“Yeah,” you said, nodding. You came to stand beside him at the railing and leaned forward on your forearms. “You okay? Were we all too rowdy down there?” you asked.
“‘M good. Just thought somebody should be on watch, ya know?”
“Mmm,” you hummed, nodding.
“It doesn’t always have to be you though,” you said. “You take on a lot. You’re allowed to relax too. Your worth as a person isn’t tied to what you can do for the group.”
He looked at you with a semi-startled expression on his handsome face.
“And I see now that you needed to hear that,” you said your eyebrows lifting. “It’s true.”
You turned and looked back out over the shadows settling into the yard and the warm orange glow illuminating your found family.
Daryl was chewing on his bottom lip thoughtfully. He lifted a hand to rub at his right shoulder, wincing a little as he rotated it.
“What’s the matter?”
“Nah, s’nothin’. I must’a tweaked it when I was movin’ my bike this afternoon. Tha’s all. S’fine.”
“Hmm. Alright. Turn around,” you said, straightening up.
“What?” Daryl asked, one of his eyebrows quirked up with the question.
“I said turn around,” you said again.
“Why?”
“Just turn around!” you laughed. “What, are you scared of me?”
“Maybe a little,” Daryl replied, a half-smile turning up one corner of your mouth.
Your hands landed on your hips and you cocked your head at him with attitude. He surrendered and turned so his back was to you.
Your hands landed gently on his shoulders and you worked your fingers into his stiff muscles. They seemed to melt beneath your touch. “You are tense,” you said. You moved to massage his sore shoulder and you could feel that one specific spot seemed particularly tight and inflamed. Your touch became gentler and Daryl’s eyes shut. He was almost leaning into the light workings of your hands. “How’s that feel?” you asked him.
All he could get out was a satisfied hum which made you smile.
“You definitely pulled something over here. You’ll have to go easy on it for a bit.”
“Mmm,” he hummed. “Maybe ya can just keep doin’ that ‘til it’s all better,” he drawled.
You laughed lightly. “I take it this feels okay then,” you said.
“Mhm,” he hummed again.
You smiled to yourself. The man deserved a little TLC. After all, you had scared the shit out of him when that walker grabbed you. You’d never forget the sound of his panicked voice yelling your name.
Just then, there was more clattering on the stairs and your hands left Daryl’s shoulders as you both turned to look. Carol came around the corner and stopped short. “Oh—sorry. I hope I’m not interrupting, um, anything,” she said, smiling.
You felt your cheeks flush and Daryl was feeling the same thing in his chest and face. “No. Not at all,” you said, leaning back against the railing.
“I was just looking for Daryl,” she explained.
“You found him,” you said. “I should head back down and see if Rick needs help getting Judith down for bed anyway.” You glanced back over at Daryl and gave him a small smile. “Night. See you in the morning. Night, Carol.”
Daryl watched you go until you disappeared into the deepening darkness. Then he felt Carol’s eyes on him. He turned at looked at her and her expression and postured, crossed arms and all, could only be described as smug. “What?” he asked, nestling the edge of his thumbnail in between his teeth and biting down.
“I’m really sorry if I did interrupt something,” she said pointedly.
“Interrupt what?” he drawled, a little irritated.
She rolled her eyes and shook her head at him. “Let me just ask you something. How come eight out of ten times if I go to ruffle your hair or wipe a smudge of something gross off you, I get my hand smacked away, but Y/N always seems able to make contact, hmm?”
Daryl’s brow furrowed. He simply stared back at her. Internally though, his mind and his heart were working in overdrive.
Carol laughed. “You don’t have to answer. I think we both know why,” she said with a satisfied smile.
Daryl sighed and ruffled a hand back through his wavy hair before resuming his position leaning on the railing next to Carol.
“You do like her though, don’t you?” Carol asked.
Daryl only continued to stare out over the dark yard, chewing on his bottom lip in that signature way of his. Carol’s smile widened and she nodded.
“I thought so.”
_ _ _ _ _ _
“Well, you beat all of us awake again today. I guess everything is back to normal,” Glenn said, kindly reaching out to give Daryl a friendly pat on the shoulder as he passed him. The archer flinched and Glenn gave him an apologetic look. “Sorry,” he said quickly.
“Oh—nah, s’alrigh’,” Daryl drawled. “Just startled me… And yeah. Hope ya slackers had a good snooze. Some of us gotta get shit done around here,” he joked, shouldering his crossbow and heading toward the door to leave.
You happened to be coming back in with Judith in your arms and Daryl nearly ran into you, stopping short to avoid the collision. You laughed and greeted him, one of your hands reflexively landing flush in the center of his chest and staying there until the two of you had side-stepped around each other.
Glenn came to sit beside Maggie again, handing her the cup of tea he’d just gotten for her. “Did you see that? How he flinched?” he asked, a little sadly, his head indicating Daryl before the archer slipped out the door.
“Mhm,” Maggie nodded. “But did ya see that?” she asked, a faint smile tugging on her lips now. She nodded toward you across the room where you were sitting with Judith.
Glenn shook his head. “No. What? I was at the stove.”
Maggie’s smile widened. “Daryl nearly ran into her. She put her hand out and it landed right in the middle of his chest and it stayed there until they made their way around each other. And it almost seemed like Daryl didn’t want to step away from her. He didn’t flinch. He may have even moved in closer. He couldn’t stop lookin’ at her,” Maggie said.
Glenn nodded slowly, his eyebrows lifting as realization dawned on him. “Well, last night… the two of them disappeared from the bonfire... You don’t think—?”
“I don’t know,” Maggie laughed jovially. “But if they aren’t, they should. Daryl needs that. And he’d be good for her too. He’s always been so protective of her and you can just tell there’s somethin’ there.”
_ _ _ _ _ _
It was late afternoon when you spotted Daryl taking a break out in the yard. He was sitting on the stump used to chop wood, the axe leaning up against the wood pile nearby. Having just finished sorting some of the newly discovered supplies with Carol, you were ready for a break yourself.
“Hey,” you greeted him, tugging another round of wood over next to him.
“Hey,” he returned, watching you take a seat beside him. He found himself wringing his hands a little nervously.
As you settled in next to him, your arm floated behind him for a moment, your palm gently rubbing across his shoulder blades, almost giving his back a gentle scratch, and then tapering off down his spine in an affectionate gesture. Daryl froze, fluttering bursting to life in his chest again. Electric tingles ran up his back. He swallowed hard. “Why d’ya do that?” he asked suddenly.
You turned and gaze him a questioning look, the small smile dying on your lips. “Do what?”
“Ya know, ya rub my back or—or try to smooth down my hair—”
Your eyes went a bit round and then your brow furrowed, casting shadows over the rich color of your irises. “Oh. Does it bother you? I’m—I’m sorry, Daryl. I probably should have asked you if you were okay with me breaking the touch barrier like that with you. I’m really sorry if it makes you uncomfortable. I won’t—”
“What? No. No, it doesn’t—I, uhh—I just mean—” Fuck. How could he explain this without having to confess all his deeply held feelings for you on the spot? “It’s—it’s nice… is all,” he finished lamely.
Your expression relaxed. “Yeah?”
He nodded, pulling his bottom lip in between his teeth. “I just—I ain’t ever really had anybody that—that did that kinda stuff with me, ya know? I mean—” he broke off. He didn’t want to go there. He’d had sex. He wasn’t completely inexperienced, but it had never felt anywhere near as intimate as your fingertips brushing his arm did.
Your lips formed a soft pout and the worry lines in your forehead reappeared. “You mean, touched you… affectionately?”
He nodded a little, keeping his eyes fixed toward the horizon, unable to look at you in that exact moment. “Yeah.”
Your heart ached. You nodded. “I see…” you breathed. You paused thoughtfully for a moment. You thought of all the people in your past who had touched you with love of all kinds—your parents, your best friend, hugs from extended relatives and friends, playfully holding hands as a child, touches with past partners… To think Daryl had never really had any of that broke your heart. You turned toward him and your fingers landed lightly along his jaw, gently turning his face toward you so you could see his bright blue eyes. You clasped his face for a moment and his eyes closed for just a split second. He actually leaned into the touch of your palm and you felt another pang in your chest. “I’m sorry,” you said softly, your fingertips trailing off his skin. “You should have had people your whole life touching you with love and friendship and care. And I’m so sorry you didn’t. We all need touch. It’s something fundamental to us as humans.”
You were close together, your knees almost bumping together.
Daryl’s eyes flickered between yours. “Yeah… I dun think I realized that until—pretty recently,” he said. “But ya don’t, uhh—I mean, I’ve noticed ya don’t… do the same thing with ev’rybody. I mean—not—not exactly the same,” he ventured.
“You noticed?” A small smile came back to your face. “No. You’re right. I don’t,” you agreed. You gave him a significant look and his heart began absolutely pounding in his chest, like he was running for his life, hard and fast.
“Oh…” he drawled, his eyes going suddenly unfocused.
“Yeah,” you said with a laugh, your cheeks heating with a blush. “Um, listen—come find me after dinner tonight. I’ve got first watch in the guard tower. Alright?” You stood and Daryl found himself looking up at you, wishing you wouldn’t go.
He could ask you to stay… but he just nodded. “Yeah,” he said. “Alright. Tonight.”
“Great,” you said, flashing him a smile that made him glad he was sitting down already. You would have nearly knocked his knees out. How was he going to make it through the rest of the day? The waiting would be excruciating…
_ _ _ _ _ _
Daryl looked up at the guard tower and could see your silhouette out on the platform against the warm splash of color from the setting sun. Inside the tower, a lantern glowed softly, illuminating the windows. He made his way up the winding stairs, trying to swallow his nerves to the best of his ability, but he found it wasn’t much use. He wiped his hands on his pants, suddenly aware that his palms were sweaty.
He pushed into the tower and found the door out onto the platform standing open. You looked over your shoulder at the sound of his boots and smiled at him, before returning to leaning on the railing, staring at the hues of salmon and orange and deep reds blazing across the sky as the sun sunk behind the trees at the horizon.
“Pretty, isn’t it?” you asked, meaning the sunset.
Daryl licked his lips nervously, but he was looking at you. “Yeah,” he drawled.
“I like how the sky is never the exact same. No two skies are alike. Something is always different with the colors or the clouds or the particular shade of blue. It makes me feel like even though the world has gone to complete shit… it hasn’t really. You know?”
Daryl leaned onto the railing beside you on his forearms and drank in the scene, humming his agreement. “Mhm.” He nervously shifted. “Um… why’d—why’d ya ask me up here?” He couldn’t stand the strenuous anticipation and wondering any longer.
You turned giving him a sympathetic smile. “Sorry. You’ve probably been wondering all day. Well… I was wondering if I could kiss you and this seemed like a nice place to do it—private, nice view, stars will be out soon, unlikely to be interrupted…”
Daryl thought he must have heard you wrong. “Wait—what?”
You smiled at him, your eyes sparking with light. “I’d like to kiss you, if that’s alright?”
He stared at you. “Ya wanna kiss me?”
“Yes,” you nodded.
“Huh… well—what if I wanna kiss you first?”
You gave him an amused look, cocking an eyebrow at him. “Then, I’d say this works out for both of us?” you laughed.
He ducked his head for a moment. “Cuz I’ve wanted to kiss ya for—for a long time now. Prob’ly longer than you’ve wanted to kiss me,” he admitted. He shot a cautious look at your expression but you still just had that serene smile on your face.
“Daryl—” you said, stepping in toward him and gently taking hold of the front of his vest, “I don’t care who initiates it, but I’d like it to happen n—”
You didn’t get the last word out, because Daryl’s lips landed flush on yours and his hand was tangling into your hair, the other landing lightly on your waist. He seemed a little tense at first, nerves maybe, but quickly you melted into each other, your knees weakening, and he tugged you against him as your arms looped around his neck.
Your hearts were racing in time together and you were both breathless when you broke apart, pulling back only enough to breathe. Daryl’s fingers drummed anxiously on your lower back.
“Was… that alrigh’?” he asked.
“Alright?” you repeated. “It was perfect,” you said.
He looked relieved. “Good. ‘Cuz… it was for me too,” he said softly. “And I’d like to do it again, if tha’s alrigh’?”
You grinned and arched into him, crashing your lips against his. This kiss was fiery and hungry and you didn’t break apart for a long time. Daryl held your body firmly against his and the two of you moved without any clumsiness or reticence, reading each other easily and sinking into it.
The sun was now nearly completely gone and the first stars were appearing in the inky sky. The moon was rising. You bit your bottom lip, looking up at Daryl. “I was hoping you’d stay until my shift is over.”
“Mmm,” Daryl nodded, his hands still on your waist. “Alrigh’. But s’gonna be hard to keep watch with ya distractin’ me.”
“Well, there are two of us… only one of us really needs to be watching at a time,” you joked, laughing lightly. You stroked your fingers through his wavy hair, brushing it away from his face, and his eyes closed at your touch. “I brought a blanket up to sit on. Come on.”
Daryl settled down on it first and then nudged his head in a way as to request that you sink down against him. His arm draped behind you and landed on your hip. His fingers moved a little absently, feeling your softness and angles. “Thanks,” he said suddenly.
“Hmm? For what?” you asked, looking over at him and catching his eyes for a moment before he ducked his head and shrugged.
“For bein’ you and… bein’ the way ya are with me,” he drawled. He didn’t know how to voice that as long as he’d known you, every little touch you gave him, innocent or maybe more, felt like nothing he’d ever felt before, and he found himself craving it, craving you. But he’d never known for sure, beyond the doubt instilled in him, if it was one-sided or not. Now, he knew.
"You don't have to thank me. You deserve to feel wanted, Daryl. You are." You smiled at him and then tucked yourself against him, your head resting under his chin, your hand moving softly on his bare arm, leaving tingles in its wake. The last light of the sun disappeared and was replaced with the cool glow of the moon and endless stars, and the two of you soaked in each other. Daryl seemed more confident as the minutes passed and drank you in, slowly touch-starved no longer and hoping he would never be again.
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ode2rin · 5 months
Text
all my flaws
pairing. itoshi rin x gn!reader
genre. post-argument fluff | suggestive themes | established relationship | new boyfriend!rin 
content/warnings. 2k+ wc | characters are in their 20s ! | pro-athlete!rin | making out | narration heavy! | profanity | minimal proofread (me and my word vomit) | it’s like a new installment of this rin
in which: people say new relationships supposedly need a breakthrough fight to level up, but rin swears he would rather go through hell than do this again.
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Your first fight as a couple freaked Rin out, even though he appeared stoic during the argument.
In the heat of the moment, Rin abruptly left your apartment, not uttering a word. Instead, he left you with a lingering glance filled with apathy—a look he'd never cast upon you before. His eyes turned void once again, when you were just getting used to it being bright and free.
What began as a simple disagreement, like any other couple's quarrel, escalated into rhetorical questions, accusing tones, and suddenly, it was him against you.
Silently, he rose from his seat, walked to the door, and vanished like a shadow that had never existed. To Rin, it felt like the right thing to do. You can't leave him if he does it first, he convinced himself. A twisted logic, fueled by emotions creeping from his past.
Yet apparently, his logic seems to be in total shambles when mixed and driven by emotions concerning you, because ten minutes later down the road, he wanted nothing more but to turn the car around.
Even so, in Rin’s true self-sabotaging fashion, he refrained. Because he’s awful, selfish, and couldn’t even fix insignificant arguments like a normal person would. Convinced of his own flaws, he believed you shouldn’t be with him— shouldn’t give him that chance after all.
The next thing he knew, the ten minutes he could’ve made to retreat back and apologize turned into 27 hours and 48 minutes of misery, spent in non-speaking terms with you.
It sucks. Everything sucks.
That night, he slept in his own bed. The next day, the in denial and emotionally constipated side of him made himself believe that the expensive yet seemingly useless mattress felt responsible for the raging tension in his shoulders and back. Of course it wasn't because of the absence of your messages or the unfamiliarity of his own bed. Of course, it’s the bed’s fault.
Life isn’t what it used to be. The sun didn't shine properly if it didn't come through the window of your room he spent the night in, his usual protein drink tasted like absolute shit because you didn’t make it for him, and not to mention the lack of cuddles before he gets up in the morning— it was bound to be the worst day of his life ever since you happened.
To make things even worse, he’s disassociating in practice, even missing a goal making everyone stop in their tracks. It was an unusual sight, Itoshi Rin doesn’t miss, after all. 
He was acting so gloomy that Bachira even pointed out how there’s a storm cloud looming over his head. A statement that earned a curt ‘fuck off, bobcut’ from the striker.
Meanwhile, Isagi took a more rational approach of expressing his concern toward his friend’s atypical behavior by taking out his phone and sending you a message.
Isagi: Did something happen between you and Rin? He's being tenfold more insufferable. [1:13 pm] Isagi: Please do something about this. - Chigiri [1:15 pm]
On the receiving end of these messages, you couldn't help but admit to yourself that you felt a peculiar sense of relief, knowing Rin was grappling with the same turmoil after he left.
You'd had your share of arguments before—petty disagreements that were easier to fix due to forced proximity. It was simpler when you were obligated to walk together on the way home from school; otherwise, he would stand in the same spot outside your classroom if you decided to be petty and ignore him. Annoyed but still caring, he insisted on confirming you got home safely, reasoning that your houses were next to each other.
Rin was still hard-headed, much like all these years. A testament to this was his silence over the past 24 hours.
Reading Isagi’s text messages once more, you let out a sigh and made up your mind – you will force him to fix things with you. You will express your displeasure at his abrupt departure, insist he not repeat it if he wants to do this right with you, and convey that it should always be the two of you against any problem.
It might be a blow to your pride to give in first, but it is what the two of you needed. It is what he needed. 
It just happened that you loved that man enough to provide what he needed, despite all flaws.
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A day of missing you must have driven him to hallucinate, Rin concludes. You, perched on his couch, delicately peeling oranges and chuckling at a whimsical show on the screen, are just a hallucination.
“You’re home.”
And would you look at that, hallucinations even speak.
From your vantage point, Rin looks like he's seen a ghost greeting him with his unblinking teal orbs and brows slightly arching upwards. You notice the subtle tightening of his grip on the strap of his gym bag as he takes measured steps towards you, as though cautiously approaching a dream he fears might dissipate.
“Rin?” you whisper in confusion. It was meek, barely a whisper of his name, yet it was all that he needed to close the gap between you in mere seconds.
You gape at him from how determined his strides were. Surprise is instantly replaced by warmth as your lover basically throws himself over you for a well-sought embrace the moment you're within his arms’ reach.
You’re real, and you’re here.
And he can’t even begin to tell you how much tension finally left his body with that realization.
“I thought…” he trails off, burying his face in the crook of your neck. 
As shallow as one might say, each passing hour of being away from you has fully convinced Rin that it might have been the end to what the two of you had.
“I’m sorry.”
“Me too,” you whisper softly in his ear, your fingers finding solace in the familiar texture of Rin’s hair, tenderly tracing paths down to his nape. Rin responds with a gentle kiss along the side of your neck, a silent affirmation of his gratitude for the comforting gesture.
Unspoken sentiments hang in the air, but neither of you feels the need to verbalize them just yet. The minutes stretch, and you both savor each other’s warmth that has been sorely missed.
As minutes gracefully slipped away, you initiated the release from his embrace, much to his chagrin. Rin openly displayed his disapproval by gently yet firmly wrapping his arms around you. But you were resolute in your purpose and slightly pushed him back.
“Have you eaten?” you ask, holding his face to look at you.
“No.”
“I’ll make you some food, then. Stay here.”
Before your intentions could take you to the kitchen, Rin pulled you back making you fall back to his lap. “don’t want you to go,” he confessed.
“But dinner–”
“No.”
“No? You don’t want to eat?”
“No,” he firmly replied, “Later. I want to hold you first.”
You didn’t respond to Rin, and just took it upon yourself to make yourself more accessible for him to hold by facing him while still seated in his lap. The shift in position sent a shiver of anticipation through both of you, and Rin, consumed by the moment, reveled in the exquisite sensation of your body pressed closely against his.
Slowly, his fingers reached the side of your jaw, tracing and guiding you closer to meet him halfway. With closed eyes, you felt his lips approaching, delicately and purposefully, until his lips were a breath away from yours. The distance between your lips diminished as Rin closed in, capturing your mouth in a sweet, lingering surrender. 
Rin’s strong hands explored every inch of you it could reach. You felt his touch on your neck, shoulders, down to your thighs. The teasing fingers paid extra attention to your waist, their grip subtly teasing the hem of your shirt. You melt into him more when you feel said teasing hands slide inside.
He was everywhere— your mind, your body, your very soul. Rin had them well occupied with all of him.
A soft gasp escapes you when he nips the familiar spot on your neck just below your ear, each kiss that follows tracing a path to your collarbones. Another gasp, louder this time, as Rin gently sucked the skin beneath your collarbones, mending the sweet sting with his feather-light kisses.
It was getting harder to think when a feeling of desire ran from your chest down toward your inner thigh from how impossibly hot Rin’s lips were consuming you.
And just when you thought he had had enough of you, Rin’s hand once again cradled your jaw, guiding your gaze to meet his. Shivers danced down your spine as you absorbed the sight of his half-lidded, glossy teal eyes.
“I need you, baby,” he breathed, “please.”
It seemed as though there was a lot to make up for in the past twenty-four hours that he couldn't hold you.
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You stirred from your sleep to the sensation of lingering kisses scattered from your forehead down to your jaw.
Blinking away the remnants of sleep, you found your lover gazing at you with those bright and free teal eyes, and you swore you never had a better way to start the day than this.
A smile graced your lips as you prepared to reciprocate the affection, intending to reach for him and plant a kiss on his jaw. However, your gesture was momentarily halted by his unexpected outburst.
“I love you.”
Professing to you used to terrify Rin – it used to knock all the air from his lungs and make the room seem so small. Now, with a few years ahead to gather enough backbone to escape the misery of pining, professing to you— loving you, felt as easy and natural as breathing.
And he hoped, with every beat of his heart against yours, that he would be breathing just fine in the many years to come.
“I love you,” he tells you again. Just for good measure, to ensure you heard him right, and just to make sure you know he does love you.
You heard him well. His words were clear enough, and the rapid beating of his heart against yours was loud enough to attest.
“Say it back, please,” he pleaded against the soft skin of your neck.
“I love you, Rin.”
“Still?”
“Still.”
He offered no verbal response, but a palpable sigh of relief emanated from him. For a man of few words, he sure does need a lot to feel better.
His warm breath lingered on your skin as a brief silence enveloped you both. Then, with a deliberate yet gentle gesture, he gathered both your arms, placing them above his shoulders, and pulled you closer by your thigh, guiding it above his own.
He loved holding you this way. He wasn’t a big believer, but he wondered if this, right here, was the closest he would ever come to heaven.
“But we have to unlearn those bad habits, Rin,” you asserted, your voice carrying a firm resolve, “No more leaving. We will sit through it, and we will talk, baby.”
Rin’s arms around your waist tightened, as if silently acknowledging your words. You knew he was listening— Rin could be hard headed and all, but he always listened. To you, and only you, that is. 
Minutes passed in silent communion, the world outside fading away as you and Rin held each other. Eventually, drowsiness began to cast its gentle veil over your senses. You couldn't tell if Rin had fallen asleep because his face was buried in the curve of your neck, hiding away in your scent. Yet, the soft and steady rhythm of his breath made you think so.
As you closed your eyes, allowing the realm of dreams to envelop you, Rin’s voice, muffled and quiet, broke the silence.
“Are we going to be fine?”
Barely audible, his question carried a hint of hesitation. And perhaps, if you listen a little closer, you could almost hear the 11-year-old Rin behind his lucid words.
Lucky for him, you had known that little boy throughout your life, enough to love him just as he needed, despite all flaws.
“We will be.”
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note. hi, my life ain't life-ing lately soooo here !! i hope all of you are fine and having a blast. but if you aren’t, i’m sending you all of my love. we’ll have better days ahead, trust 🤞🏻
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seospicybin · 1 month
Text
TOO HOT TO HANDLE.
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PART I
Hyunjin x reader. (s)
Too Hot To Handle Masterlist
Synopsis: You and Hyunjin become contestants in a reality dating show, Too Hot To Handle. (20,4k words)
Author's note: This is the beginning of an end to the series so please enjoy x
HOST: Lana is back! And she's got a team of hot, sexy singles. This group of people hook up so fast but nothing compares to how fast they run from commitment and their world will fall apart when they find out their dream vacation is in fact a sexless retreat hosted by the world's biggest cock-blocker. With a $200,000 prize at stake, will they learn to have deep, meaningful relationships? Or will temptations still be Too Hot To Handle?
-
Hyunjin doesn't know what to expect.
The show is the first of its kind and it's also his first time being a part of it. The fact that the staff got him blindfolded doesn't help him relax, a staff holds him by the arm to lead him somewhere. He obviously can't see anything but he hears the lapping waves from his right side and in the background, he hears low chatters from behind and in front of him.
The staff eventually tells him to stop walking and turns his body the other way, he doesn't know what to do next except to wait for further instructions. They make him wait for a minute until a voice comes, a distorted, robot-like voice from somewhere close to him.
"Conquerors, you can now remove your blindfolds!"
Hyunjin immediately reaches for the back of his head to untie the blindfold and keeps his eyes closed until he takes it off. The sun blinds him the second he opens his eyes, he quickly shields his eyes with his hand and squints to adjust them to the bright light.
He hears a few chuckles from next to him and girls squealing across from him, it's when he lowers his hand he can finally see the girls standing on the opposite side. For a split second, he feels ecstatic to be the only guy there but then he turns his head side to side and realizes that's just his wishful thinking.
While the girls are huddling around and hugging each other, he exchanges handshakes and side hugs with the other male contestants.
"Hyunjin," he introduces his name around with a friendly smile.
"What's up, bro?" The one with an impeccable mustache and a sheer Spanish accent, Diego says.
After the males are done introducing themselves to each other, they walk over to the girls to do the same to them.
"It's hot, huh?" Says the guy with long blond hair and pale skin, Andy.
Hyunjin can't tell if he's talking about the sunny weather or the girls, either way, he agrees with him. He can't even decide which one to look at. they're all so attractive that it feels like his eyes are having a feast right now.
To get girls, Hyunjin never really has to work hard for it, just a little stare and a little smile, then he gets it. He does just that as he tells his name to the girls, oozing with confidence and charms. The eyes he's getting from a couple of girls... oh, he can tell that he makes just the right impression on them.
Before he can make any moves though, the voice comes back. He finally learns that the voice is coming from the gate of what he assumes is where he'll be staying for the rest of the show.
"Conquerors, welcome to paradise!"
Everyone is cheering in response to that and Hyunjin is excited as well even though he never really learned how the show is going to work, they only told him that it's a reality show and he'll stay in the villa with the other contestants, having fun and enjoying himself so he signed up for it.
"Each of you has a particular skill and so you were selected for a mission: conquering this paradise."
Another wave of cheers and exclaims bursts out of everyone as they stand facing the gate while the voice continues talking.
"Behind you, there are some buried treasure chests, and inside one of them is the only key to the gate. By finding this kiss, you'd be allowed to enter paradise."
Hyunjin turns around almost in unison with everyone else, he sees that there's a big circle around a plot of sand and two crates filled with shovels for everyone to use.
"You have ten minutes to finish the task. Good luck!" The voice concludes.
-
HYUNJIN: I look like a Disney prince but I am no prince [Smirks] I have no time for relationships. I work as a model, I meet a lot of people and there are always parties and after parties. Sometimes there's a kiss, sometimes there's something more [laughs] That's why people described me as a spoiled playboy [grins]
-
"I joined this show to do some manual labor," said no one ever.
You stare at the pile of shovels before reluctantly picking it up, this is not how you want to start the show but it's the only way to win, so you put your gloves on and start digging. When you think you're the worst one here, you see a girl holding the shovel the wrong way.
"Guys, I don't know how to dig," says the short, blond-haired girl with freckles, Edie.
"Like this!" The curly-haired girl with round big eyes, Frida says, showing her how to properly dig the sand.
The girls are digging at the same spot so you walk to the other part and start digging there. While two guys already found two chests, the other two guys are standing on the sideline not far from you.
"Thank God we're here, man," the guy says to the other.
The other agrees with him with a fistbump and then says, "So many hot chicks, it's crazy."
You keep digging the sand while pretending not to hear them and eventually, you hit something hard so you use your hand to take it out.
"I found one!" You excitedly announce even though you haven't successfully taken the chest out of the sand yet.
"That's amazing!" Edouard praises, you can easily identify him from his French accent.
He then kneels next to you to help you pull the chest out and hands it to you.
"Thank you," you mutter with a smile.
Ten minutes have passed and the voice returns to tell everyone the time is up. Everyone is more than glad to stop digging and get rid of the shovels.
"Let's see if you found the key."
The staff makes everyone who obtained the treasure chests line up in front of the gate and take turns to open it.
The guy on the farthest left gets to open his chest first and turns out it's empty. The second guy takes his turn but it's also empty. You shake your treasure chest to know if the key is in yours but it's useless to find out when the third guy found the key in his treasure chest.
"Congratulations! You've conquered the first stage. You may access the villa."
To say that you're disappointed is an understatement, it's not so much about the key, it's how you obtained the treasure chest that gets you a bit upset.
Pablo, the guy who found the key, steps forward and uses the key on the big padlock. He throws the padlock aside once he successfully opens it and pushes the big gate that reveals the luxurious villa.
"Welcome to my house, guys!" Pablo jokingly says as he leads the group further inside.
Everyone is in awe of what they're seeing, a big swimming pool, yards, and the big villa that sits in the center of it all. You've never seen such a lavish piece of property, it's so big that you possibly need a day or two to learn your way around.
The sound of the champagne pops open startles you and a girl links her arm with yours, a beautiful girl with long dark hair and sleeve tattoos on both of her arms. You rake your brain to recall her name, Vic.
Everyone eventually grabs a glass for themselves and patiently waits for their turn for Edouard to fill it with champagne.
You catch the guy standing next to you having a sip before the toast, "Drinking before toasting is bad luck, you know," you tell him.
Hearing you say that, the guy turns to the side to face you and it's baffled you how beautiful he is, the kind that would make anyone the slightest bit intimidated by it.
The introduction everyone did earlier was too fast and too brief, you can't remember most of everyone's names because of it. However, there are only two long-haired guys here, one is blonde and his name is Andy so that makes him the other one and you're sure his name is Hyunjin.
Hyunjin has a small face yet his facial features delightfully complement each other and the eyebrow piercing should be a violation of such otherworldly visual but instead, it gives him that edge.
"It's not bad luck when I'm here and having this drink with you," he says, clinking his glass with yours then bravely takes another sip.
His stare is the opposite of the sweet smile he's giving you, it's bold and confident. You shouldn't be afraid of superstitious, you should be afraid of the type of guy that breaks your heart and he's standing right there in front of you, daring you to take a sip of bad luck.
"The hell, right?" You nonchalantly say then you bravely sip your wine.
His eyes don't stray away from you even after you return his dare to him, he keeps staring at your face with his mouth slightly parted open and his tongue peeking out on one corner of his mouth.
"Let's make a toast!" Edouard says, being the first to raise his glass in the air.
-
YOU: I think my shine bothers people a little but I'm not here to please anyone [grins] I play tennis in my spare time so I am quite competitive. I think I have the biggest chance to win this show... I will be the first person to score [giggles] and I always get what I want.
-
A big splashing sound startles you this time and it's coming from Pablo who jumps into the swimming pool. Soon, the other guys join him in the pool while the girls remain on the side, not wanting to risk ruining their hair or their make-up.
"Are you girls going to stand there?" Pablo asks, squinting his eyes to look at the girls.
"You have no idea what it's like drying this hair," Frida says with a subtle eye roll.
"It takes me forever to do my hair, I'm not getting it wet now," Marie adds.
You also remain on the side by sitting on the edge of the pool next to Vic with your feet dipped in the warm pool water.
Not long after, the males join the girls on the side of the pool to drink more champagne, talking about random things from the strangest places everyone has had sex to everyone's sexual preferences.
You're draining your wine glass empty when the question aimed at you, "How about you? Are you bi?"
"I think everyone is bisexual here," Edie playfully remarks.
You decide to swallow your drink first then wipe your lips after, "I've kissed girls but I don't know..." you doubtfully answer.
Vic puts her drink away and turns her head at you, "Let's test it then."
She grabs you by the chin and slowly brings your head closer so she can place a nice peck on your lips. You let out a smile when she lets go.
"That's nice," you genuinely say.
"I want some too," Pablo says who happens to witness the kiss.
You and Vic simultaneously burst into laughter at his sudden request but then she signals you to give him a peck together with her. You happen to want to fool around so you play along with her and give Pablo a quick three-way kiss with Vic.
"We could do better!" Pablo says, teasing for another go at it.
Vic laughs and puts her hand on your thigh, "Come on! You can do better!" She says to you.
Feeling challenged, you lean in first to kiss Pablo and Vic joins in a second later, you can feel their lips on you and the occasional tongue licks in between. You pull away first but Vic gets her hand on the nape of your neck, not letting you pull away from her kiss yet until she lets go.
The next thing you know, Diego and Frida are kissing and so are Andy and Edie, not caring that you're sitting next to them and trying so hard to ignore them.
-
YOU: I think our silly little kisses stirred things up and made everyone horny [chuckles]
-
Not going to lie, Hyunjin likes seeing you kiss another girl. Not the part where Pablo is involved but the part where Vic latched onto your lips after you pulled away from the kiss, that's just hot it gets him a little flustered.
All he can think of right now is when he's going to have his turn to kiss you.
"Are you guys going to stay in the pool? Because I want to see the bedrooms," Frida says, encouraging everyone to start exploring the villa.
"Oh, yeah. I want to see the bedrooms," Diego says, hurriedly getting out of the pool.
Hyunjin follows the majority by heading to the bedrooms even though he wants to stay in the pool a little longer, leaving a trail of wet footsteps behind him.
From the back, he can see that some couples are forming. First, there is Diego and Frida as they lead the group, walking hand-in-hand to the bedrooms. Next to him is Andy and Edie, walking side by side while cutely smiling at each other.
Hopefully, the third couple would be you and him, he can imagine how powerful would that be but before that, he has to take care of Pablo who has had his eyes on you ever since you shared a kiss with him.
The girls are squealing the moment they set their feet in the bedrooms but Hyunjin gets it why everyone is so excited at the sight of the beds.
"Guys, there's only six beds and there's ten of us," Frida says, making it even more obvious to everyone,
"Then we'll have to share," Andy innocently says.
"Who sleeps with whom?" Frida asks a provoking question.
Vic climbs onto the bed and takes your hand to join her, then starts to jump on it while holding hands.
Hyunjin randomly picks a bed and sits on it, ignoring that his trunks are dripping wet from swimming just to watch you bouncing on the bed like a kid having a sugar rush. It's a delightful thing to see until he hears the sound of the bed breaking down and the two of you abruptly stop jumping on it, collapsing onto the bed just to break into laughter.
"Guys, there's another way we could break the beds," Marie scolds you both.
But that only heightens the hilarity and you both break into another wave of laughter together.
After a moment, you go to another bed and lie down. Hyunjin wants to use this opportunity to make you his bed partner but Pablo beats him to it.
-
HYUNJIN: Everyone wants to have someone to cuddle with tonight and I know who I want to share the bed with [smirks]
-
While the boys are gathered in the gazebo in the backyard, the girls choose the lounge to gather with drinks have been served on the wooden table. What else is there to talk about but the ones that aren't in the room with them: The boys.
"A toast for us girls!" Edie initiates a toast with the glasses filled with chilled wine.
The girls then take a seat on the curved sofa and get comfortable talking about their choice of guys, unlike you who still need time to openly share things with them.
"I'd hook up with everyone but the one I like best is Edouard," Vic says.
"For me, it's Edouard, Hyunjin, and Andy..." Edie cracks a laugh at herself and continues, "I think we should all kiss each other."
You see that Edouard is quite popular among the girls and you can see why, he's tall, he has that chocolate skin and a great smile, plus he talks in a sexy accent, everyone wants a piece of that French man.
"Okay then we should jump on Edouard and everyone gets a kiss," Edie says with a hysterical laugh.
Everyone is free to be with whoever they want to be and this doesn't bother you at all but if everyone kissed your man, you don't think you'll like it that much.
"You can kiss anyone except my Diego," Frida says, putting her ownership over him already.
"I think you two look great together," Vic says while holding her glass close to her lips.
"But girl, I want to hook up with him too," Marie says, in the most unapologetic way.
"Oh, girl..." Frida awkwardly sighs, deciding not to respond to that.
It suddenly turns quiet and awkward in here, worse is you're sitting between Frida and Marie, your eyes glancing side to side to see if there's a potential to be a catfight here. Thankfully, things stay civil but you need a big gulp of wine.
Today is only the first day in paradise and you can see some things happening already. Some people are forming couples but you think everyone should get to know each other first. While the others are scattering around to make a move on their person of interest, you decide to have a moment for yourself to truly enjoy the paradise.
All of a sudden, someone comes from behind you and interrupts the peaceful moment.
"May I sit here?" Pablo asks.
He doesn't wait for your answer but takes a seat on your sunlounger and forces you to scoot to the side to make space for him.
"Yeah, sure," you awkwardly say.
He puts his arm around you and makes you rest your head on it, sharing the sunlounger.
"Miss me?" He asks.
"It hasn't been that long," you jokingly say with sheer sarcasm.
"Come here to tell you I can't stop thinking about our kiss," he mutters to you.
You did the three-way kiss with him to fool around but it seems like he's the only one thinking it's more than that, "Yeah?"
He has his hand on your jaw and turns your head to the side so he can kiss you. You let him have a kiss then quickly pull away.
He then presses his mouth close to your ear and whispers, "I think we should share the bed so we can do more than a kiss tonight."
You turn your head the other way and laugh it off, pretending to fix your hair when you're actually trying to put a space between you and him.
He senses that too but instead of letting you have that space, he pulls you closer and kisses your cheek, "Are you scared of getting too close to me?"
"No..." you weakly answer.
Pablo is what you call a textbook player, you recognize the games he's playing but what gives you the ick is how clingy he is. You don't know how to say that to him without hurting his ego.
"I like to talk. I talked to the other guys and all, and I want us to talk too," you say to him.
But Pablo doesn't want to do that, he comes for you for one thing only and it's not talking. He suddenly turns quiet and reclines on the lounger, he stares out at the view, letting the silence turn awkward.
"It's a gorgeous villa," he says out of the blue.
"Mmh, yeah."
"I think I want to see the rest of it," he says, getting up from the lounger to explore the villa.
-
YOU: With Pablo... [sighs] I think he came on too strong and we're lacking in conversations.
-
Pablo had his chance at you and he blew it.
That doesn't worry Hyunjin. He always has a good aim so he won't hesitate to take his turn to take a shot at you. He knows it's the right time to make a move on you since you're alone, lying inside the hammock while looking at the view of the sea.
Hyunjin makes his arrival known by coming from the side and showing you the bottle of wine he brings with him to show you that he comes in peace. He sees your smile when you notice him coming.
"Do you mind if I join you?" He politely asks.
"Only if you intend to share that bottle with me," you answer with a sweet smile. You make space on the hammock for him and keep your feet dangling on the edge.
Hyunjin opens the bottle with a loud popping sound and the wine fizzles as it gets exposed to the air. He immediately hands the bottle to you, "You can have the first sip."
You look at him then at the bottle before taking it from his hand.
"What do you think about all this?" He asks while watching you drinking wine straight from the bottle.
You let out a gasp after taking a sip and hand the bottle to him, "It's a bit overwhelming and intense but I like it, it's fun."
He allows himself to have his first sip as he thinks of another thing to ask you, "But you're ready, right?"
You let out a low chuckle and look him in the eyes, "Well, I am, I'm open for anything. I can be a bit emotional but I respect boundaries."
You take the bottle from his hand to take a swig and wipe your lips after, "I just don't want to force anything. Things should come naturally."
"You don't have to worry about that," he pauses midsentence to take his turn to drink wine, "We have that connection."
From the smile that grows bigger on your face, he can tell that Hyunjin is pulling all the right moves. He has that right balance between being a lover and a player, but more importantly, he keeps it real, there's nothing fake in everything he does or says.
"You're so beautiful," he compliments with an intense stare into your eyes to let you know he means it, it's not just a sweet nothing.
"Thanks," You wipe the drop of wine escaping the corner of your mouth and compliment him back, "So are you, you are absolutely gorgeous."
It's hard to concentrate when all he can think about is how badly he wants to kiss you and the wine that wet your lips is not helping him.
Hyunjin tilts his head slightly to the side and asks, "What do you like about me?"
You trail the mouth of the bottle with your index finger as you think of an answer.
"The whole thing, I guess,” you answer with a delighted laugh but fiercely stare back into his eyes, “But the eyes, especially."
It's cute that one second, you're shy and the next moment, you're this confident woman who stares right into his soul. He touches his lips to make you avert your attention from them and murmurs, "How about these lips? These lips do work, you know."
He teases you more by touching his lips with his fingers and doubles the intensity of his gaze into your eyes.
"Yeah?" You shyly smile again.
He props a hand against his head and drops his voice as it turns low and sultry, "Want to try them?"
You let out an amused laugh and hold down your hair on your shoulder from the wind, "Well, we drink from the same bottle, may as well..."
Once he notices that you're slowly leaning in, he hurriedly tilts his head upward to let you easily land your lips on his. He kisses you to show you how much he wants it, gently yet passionately. He places his hand on the nape of your neck to deepen the kiss and puts a little more tongue to taste you more.
You taste of wine and sunshine, of sweet, heavenly things. Your kiss is intoxicating yet he can't get enough of it.
"Not bad," you coyly comment once you pull away from the kiss.
Hyunjin thinks he likes you the best when you're both shy and confident at the same time.
-
HYUNJIN: I was really attracted to her immediately. She's hot, she's wonderful, I just couldn't help it [smiles]
-
God! Hyunjin is truly something.
You've been taking gulps of wine to help you calm down, but instead, you get a little tipsy from the accumulated amount of alcohol you've consumed so far. Or it could be from Hyunjin and his dizzying kisses. Oh, the kiss!
Hyunjin is devastatingly beautiful, you feel uglier the longer you see him but at the same time, you can't stop looking at his face. He has those crinkles in his eyes, long dark hair and he has that lean body, but underneath that dreamy look, there's a guy who knows how to get you all hot and bothered.
You hand the bottle of wine to him and then rest your hand on his chest, how his shirt is flapping open from the wind.
"I remember the girls were talking about you guys, we were joking around and then Edie said she wants to hook up with you," you randomly share with him.
He smiles with his mouth full of wine, he swallows it down before talking, "And you're jealous?"
You lightly chuckle and start playing with the button on his shirt, "I mean, we're all free to do whatever we want and if it doesn't happen for us… It's fine with me."
There's a crease formed between his eyebrows, he seems to disagree with your latter remark, "It's happening, no way it won't," he confidently says.
You kind of expected he would say that because that's just a typical answer that you probably heard so many times only that they were in different forms.
"That's sweet," you tell him, "but that's something a player would say."
Hyunjin lets out a low laugh, feeling caught by what you said. He then grips the neck of the bottle and the rings he's wearing clinking against it as he hands it back to you. You feel a little nervous as he intently watches you take a long sip of wine.
"Stop staring at me," you say with a gentle push on his chest, feeling flustered from how he stares at you non-stop.
Yet it only makes him keep doing it, he stares deeper into your eyes and coyly says, "How could I not?"
You slump down in the hammock and use his arm as a pillow, "I'm not used to this. Sending signals is my thing."
Teasing, flirting, seducing... these are your areas of expertise and now, you're the one on the opposite end of these things which makes it feel a little strange. Or it could be Hyunjin being too good at it.
Curious if Hyunjin is still staring at you, you turn your head to the side to only get greeted by his yet another intense stare. You crack a smile because it's the only way you know how to react to it.
"I can't take that smile," he says with adoration fills his eyes.
Without having to touch your cheeks, you know that they're heating from his sweet compliments.
"I like your smile," he compliments again.
"Thank you," you simply respond to him.
He leans in close enough that you can smell his alcohol-tinted breath as he says, "And I really like your kiss."
Hyunjin is truly something. There's nothing more sexier than a guy who knows what he wants and goes for it. The sexiest part of it is he makes you feel wanted.
"What about—"
Without letting you finish your sentence, he crashes his lips against yours. This time, his kiss is more intense than the previous one, it's deeper and hungrier, he doesn't stop his hands from wandering around your body and leaves searing touches on your skin like he's trying to light your body on fire.
Good thing that you don't mind getting burned alive by his desire.
-
YOU: The kiss was kind of romantic but at the same time, I was on fire [chuckles]
-
How this show works is still unclear.
However, the staff have been letting everyone have fun as much as we want and tonight, they're throwing a party in the villa. Even with the lack of context on the show, this is indeed a paradise.
The theme for the party is nautical and you pick a costume out of the selections provided by the staff. You settle on a blue and white striped cropped top and a white mini skirt, and you add a small sailor hat on the top of your head for the accessory.
The beach has been decorated according to the nautical theme but what gets everyone hyped is the round of shots served on the table. Everyone gets their hands on it and Edouard leads the toast to finally allow everyone to take it in one go. You quickly chase it down with a glass of juice to eliminate the bitter aftertaste, trying to stay sober for the rest of the night.
One round of shots is enough to make everyone loosen up and dance to the fast-paced music playing in the villa, Vic makes you dance with her and you're struggling to keep up with her energetic moves.
"Guys, guys, there's a party going on here!" Edie says, pointing at Diego who's having a body shot on Frida's chest.
Everyone is howling at them and not long after, following suit by doing the same thing to each other, you find yourself just standing there witnessing them having a wild time.
Hyunjin eventually comes up to you with glasses of shots in his hands, "Love shot?"
The plan is to stay sober but one more tequila shot shouldn't be a problem, right?
"Sure," you take one from his hand before linking your arms together for a love shot.
In this proximity, you can see the faint mole under Hyunjin's left eye and it's such an endearing thing to know. When you feel his eyes on you though, you get that flutter in your stomach.
"Together in three, two, one..."
You tilt your head as you drain the alcohol in one gulp and you feel it burns down your throat as you swallow it, you can't help but wince again at the bitter aftertaste.
Hyunjin lowly laughs seeing you with your nose scrunched up, he takes the empty shot glass from you and puts them away.
"I know how to make it sweet," he says, cupping your face in his hands before leaning in to kiss you.
His kiss is more intoxicating than the alcohol you consumed and screws the plan! You want to get drunk on his kisses even though you have to be on your tiptoe and cling to his shoulders for support. He keeps you steady by holding you close, wrapping his arms around your waist, and at times, hoisting you against him to deepen the kiss.
For a second, you forget that anyone can see this and only notice it when you pull away from the kisses to find everyone hooting at you.
The party comes to a halt when the music stops playing and the voice returns.
"Hello, Conquerors. I hope you're enjoying the party."
Andy with his cheeks blushed and bleary eyes, loudly whistling to show how much he enjoyed the party.
"In a few minutes, you'll have a special guest, a special international star," the voice announces.
That gets everyone intrigued and they start throwing random famous names around, hoping that one of their guesses is true.
"Enjoy the party!" The voice finishes.
The lights dim and the spotlight appears, beaming on the gate, raising everyone's anticipation about who the special guest is. You don't have any expectations but with everything you experienced so far in this villa, you reckon it's something special indeed.
The gate slowly opens only to reveal a cone sitting atop a barrel which you instantly recognize who she is and the actual show you're in.
"Oh, God, no," you mutter to yourself in denial.
"Look at— It's Lana!" Edie hysterically says, making it obvious to everyone.
"Yeah. It's her. It's Lana for real," Vic confirms.
As if that wasn't enough to make it real, the cone chimes and lights up, making her presence known to everyone.
"Fuck it. Let's kiss one last time," Edie says
She impulsively goes around kissing everyone, including you and everyone else doesn't want to miss the last chance at it and do the same. You must admire her boldness for that but you get a little jealous when she kisses Hyunjin, especially after knowing you can't kiss him whenever you want.
-
YOU: I know it's all too good to be true [sighs] This paradise has turned into hell.
-
When Hyunjin sees Lana, his mind goes blank.
First, it's a cone. Secondly, he doesn't know it has a name and it's Lana. And thirdly, Lana is going to ban everyone from doing sexual stuff which goes against his plan.
How did he end up here? Wait, no, he doesn't regret being here but he regrets not knowing what he put himself in which is a sexless retreat. Imagine being an alcoholic and you came looking like a bottle of fine wine, then he got told that he's not allowed to drink it. He can't be the only one seeing how messed up this is.
"As you know, I'm Lana, the hostess of this retreat. I'm back and fully updated for this season," the cone introduces herself with a different robot voice.
A few are clapping in response but the rest are still in shock at the turn of events, except Andy, who is too drunk to even process this much information.
"According to my data, all of you are real players who wouldn't be allowed in any paradise."
"Wow, she's sassy!" Vic comments.
"She's Lana, she can be sassy as much as she wants," Frida says, crossing her arms in front of her in defeat.
"Therefore, my goal is to offer a good environment for your personal development."
Hyunjin looks around to see not even a single face is looking happy about this, especially Edouard, he's been quiet and Hyunjin believes he is in a state of shock right now.
"As part of your social development, I have allocated a prize of $200,000."
"Okay, now we're talking," Pablo says.
That gets everyone cheering up a little but that doesn't mean they're not dreading the terms and conditions that come with it.
"And the prize will be decreased every time one of my rules is broken."
There goes the catch. Nothing ever comes off easy, especially with that much money. Maybe it's easy for some people to choose money over sex but for a bunch of horny people like them, it's doubtful.
"Tell us the rules then," Pablo says, being the only one enthusiastic about all this.
"No physical interaction aiming at sexual pleasure is allowed," Lana informs.
"Well, shit!" You and Vic mutter at the same time, then burst into laughter together.
"Does cuddling count?" Diego asks but his question remains unanswered as Lana continues with the list of rules everyone needs to adhere to.
"The following are forbidden: kissing, heavy petting, and any kind of sex."
Edouard recovers from shock only to descend into another state of shock after hearing the rules. He holds his head with both arms, completely devastated by it.
"This also applies to any form of sexual gratification, by yourself or together."
"Fuck, no!" Hyunjin reflexively reacts.
He thinks this one rule goes against his rights, his body belongs to him therefore he should be free to do whatever he wants with it.
"And since you didn't respect my arrival, $20,000 has been deducted from the prize fund," Lana comes with the most shocking announcement of all.
"Oh, fuck!" Pablo curses out loud.
"No, come on!" Vic complains.
Everyone suddenly regrets having that one last kiss and losing that much money when the retreat has barely begun yet.
'The prize fund now stands at $180,000."
"Oh, no man," Diego sighs.
Edie, the one who initiated that open bar of kisses innocently says, "Just let it go, guys."
"Welcome to Too Hot To Handle," Lana concludes, marking the party is over for everyone.
-
HYUNJIN: [Laughs] I have to laugh so I don't cry [sadly chuckles]
-
Once Lana has shown herself and revealed what the show actually is, the parts of the villa that were off-limits are now accessible. You get to see the dressing room and the girls are taking their time in here, wiping their make-up clean while enjoying what is possibly the coziest part of the villa.
"I think we all should chill tonight," Frida suddenly says as she ties a scarf around her curly hair.
The girls are giving her the side eyes, questioning the meaning behind her words.
"We already spent twenty grand so..." Frida reminds everyone.
"Yeah..." Vic half-heartedly responds.
Frida has a good intention but you're not sure if everyone is going to obey her words just because it's the right thing to do.
You're not going to deny the fact that you had those kinds of impulses and most of the time, you went with them without thinking so trying to not do that habit will be a struggle for you.
Thankfully, you're sharing the bed with Vic tonight and you think that's a safe option for now, you don't want to jump on the bed with any of the boys yet.
As you make your way to the bed at the end of the room, Pablo stretches his hand out at you, gesturing you to come to his bed. You thought he wanted to chat but he makes space on the bed for you, asking you to climb into the bed.
Noticing the puzzled look on your face, he asks, "Aren't you sleeping with me?"
As far as you remember, Vic is the only one who asked you to be her bed partner and you didn't mention anything about it to anyone else, especially Pablo.
"I'm sleeping with Vic," you answer him.
The warm expression on his face turns icy in a second, he pulls the duvet to his chest and clutches at it, "So this is how it's going to be," he says like a fussy child.
"It's only the first day," you simply explain which should be enough to let him know that the bed arrangement is not permanent.
But Pablo's mood is way too off for you to salvage, "Are you staying away from me?" He wildly accuses you.
You immediately shake your head, "No."
"I want to sleep with you but you're making me sleep alone," he grumbles.
"There will be other days," you tell him.
"Are you sure about that?" He says with an unkind stare.
You don't see why he has to be this upset about the bed situation while everyone else can sort it out without having to throw a tantrum like this.
Still, you choose to keep your calm and respond with a light chuckle.
Pablo shifts on the bed and clutches his duvet up to his neck, "Goodnight," he says with an angry tone.
"Are you mad?" You meekly ask.
"No," he replies then ends the conversation with yet another angry goodnight.
You didn't notice that Frida is witnessing all of this on the next bed and you feel embarrassed even though you're not the one acting childish.
Not wanting to make him more angry, you get to your bed and Vic is already there, sitting cross-legged and wearing a cropped top and boy shorts as her sleeping attire.
You sit on the end of the bed facing away from Pablo's bed, "I think we found the worst one," you tell her with a repulsed expression.
Vic laughs and is open to listening to your rant about what just happened between you and Pablo, and how childish the whole situation is.
Then she uses her eyes to gesture at Pablo's bed, "Diego and Frida have to deal with his bad mood now," she lowly mutters.
You take a few seconds before glancing over your shoulder to see Pablo talking about it to Diego and Frida on the bed next to him.
When you look back at Vic, you both let out a laugh at the same time.
-
YOU: Here I thought I was intense but jeez... [chuckles] Pablo is too intense.
-
The cone chimes and startles everyone in the room who's barely awake from their sleep yet.
"Good morning, everyone," Lana greets.
"Morning, Lana girl," Edie replies with a hoarse voice.
"How was your night?" Lana asks.
Everyone is answering with groans and grumbles, there are just too many complaints coming all at once.
"This is a reminder that this show is no longer Conquerors of Paradise and the only thing left for you to conquer is your sexual urges."
Another series of groans is coming from everyone and echoing in the room in response to Lana's announcement. It's obviously not the kind of thing everyone wants to get in the morning: a reality check.
"We lost 20k you guys," Pablo says, squeezing the cushion on his lap.
"He keeps reminding us," Edouard says with a light chuckle.
"It was epic. Everyone enjoyed it," Andy comes in defense even though he looks groggy with his bleary eyes and his blond hair stuck to his face.
"Yes, but we lost 20k for doing that," Pablo says again.
Hyunjin lets out a chuckle at how Pablo doing exactly what Edouard said, reminding everyone about the money, and after a while, he's aware of what he just did.
"We started on the worst possible way," he makes an argument.
"No, dude. It's the best!" Diego disagrees with him.
Pablo shrugs and brushes his wavy hair to the back, "I mean, financially."
Edie points at Pablo and says, "Look everyone, we got ourselves a bookkeeper."
That amuses everyone, well, except Pablo who strongly shakes his head in disagreement.
"I won't be that person," he remarks.
Edie lets out a sarcastic laugh and says, "Yeah but there's always a bookkeeper."
Whether there'll be a bookkeeper or not, it seems like it won't stop anyone from breaking the rules, including him. But Hyunjin only has one person in mind to do that with and sadly, he's not sharing the bed with you yet. He gets it that maybe you want to keep your options open for now and you don't want to be haste on a decision.
He feels relieved though that you're not sleeping with another guy which means that he still has a chance to have you as a bed partner and he's ready to make that happen.
-
HYUNJIN: When I feel like it's something I really want, I'm going to go for it [smirks]
-
A session of yoga with Frida and two glasses of juice helped you to sober up completely, you feel less like shit after a shower and even better once you dressed up for the day.
You decide to spend the afternoon sunbathing by the pool and on the way there, you spot Pablo already occupying one of the loungers.
It reminds you of what happened last night and how it feels unpleasant whenever you recall it, you hate that things went awry between you and him so you decide to try to talk about it with him.
"Hey, mind if I sit here?" You ask, taking a seat on the next lounger.
Pablo squints his eyes to look at you and stays reclining on the lounger, "Nah."
You want to approach things kindly to not get misunderstood again so you carefully pick your words before letting them out.
"Okay, so... I think last night we had a miscommunication and after that talk, I don't like how it created tension between us," you begin by assessing the issue head-on.
He wipes the sheen of sweat on his forehead and turns his head at you, "Yeah."
"I want you to know that I didn't get on the bed with you not because I didn't want to," you calmly explain to get your message across, "I just don't remember having that conversation about the—"
"I wanted to talk to you about it but I don't like pulling you away from the others, it's annoying," he cuts you off and gets defensive.
This is what you don't like about him, he's not even letting you finish your explanation first and you doubt he even listened to you at all.
"You know what, you're free to do whatever you want, we can finish talking—"
It's your turn to cut him off and get defensive, "That's not it. You don't listen. You don't let me speak."
"Everyone gets to know me a little but you, you're always distant," he starts an argument yet again.
"We both know that everyone has their own way of getting to know someone," You're losing a bit of your cool as you said it.
"I can talk to everyone but I can't talk to you," he remarks.
That sounds like Pablo has made up his mind, he doesn't want to either listen or talk, he wants to stop interacting with you altogether and it sounds final.
"For me, I think we just have to stop talking about it," you try to salvage what can be saved from it even though you're not really that confident about it.
"It's over," he finalized it on his own.
It's such a shame that he closes himself immediately without giving himself a chance to be open, even to keep things on good terms between you and him.
"Okay, then," you say in defeat, choosing to leave because your presence seems to bother him.
-
YOU: Despite everything, I wished to remain friends with him but it seems like that won't work either.
-
With Pablo constantly avoiding you, you don't have to worry about bumping into him or starting a conversation with him and the fact that he's the one who broke it off only makes you feel less guilty about it and somehow liberated. You're hanging out in the firepit with Vic and Edie, just chatting and drinking wine in between, enjoying the warm night.
In the middle of Edie delivering a funny anecdote, Hyunjin comes into view and she abruptly stops talking. There's something about him that makes people couldn't help but look at him and he's taking everyone's attention with how impeccable he looks tonight.
Hyunjin is wearing this printed shirt that would look tacky on some people but he pulls it off just fine, more than fine to be exact. He looks dashing, overflowing with charisma.
"Hey," he says to everyone but his eyes landed on you in the end.
You would have mistaken him for a statue if he weren't talking, you hurriedly get ahold of yourself and say hi back to him.
"Can I borrow her for a minute?" He asks either Vic or Edie.
Vic puts her arm around you and pulls you closer, "No, you can't," she jokingly says to him.
Hyunjin sheepishly smiles and offers his hand at you once you break free from Vic's hold, taking his hand to help you get up from the sofa.
"See you guys later," you say to Vic and Edie as he leads you in the direction of the beach.
The beach offers a different view with the pale moonlight that shines down on the sea and the surface of the water reflecting the starry night sky at you. He takes you to sit on the bench next to him and you take a moment to get rid of the sand caught in your shoes, doing it quietly to not ruin the moment.
"You look amazing," Hyunjin compliments with a sheepish smile.
"You too. I like the shirt," you compliment back and it's not a hard thing to do when he looks that good.
A gust of wind blows your way and it makes your hair fly around so does Hyunjin's, he can easily brush it to the back and it won't make a big difference while you can only hope that you don't look like you just rolled out of the bed.
He catches the stray hair floating around your face and safely tucks it behind your ear, his hand lingers there for a moment before he lightly touches your necklace.
"I like this," he murmurs.
You hold your breath even though his finger touches the pendant on your necklace and makes no contact with your skin whatsoever.
"Thank you," you mutter.
It's so quiet except for the constant sounds of the waves lapping the seashore and it seems like Hyunjin takes his time to talk and just be alone with you. After a moment passes you and him exchanging cryptic gazes at each other, and he finally begins talking.
"Can I be honest with you?"
"Yes," you reply, curious about what he wants to share with you.
"I don't know how to say this but you're just my type," he pauses to lick his lips, making them wetter and tempting you to do something about it.
"You have everything that I like about a girl. You're super attractive, and you're a bit shy but at the same time, you exude confidence which I eat that up."
Like it isn't obvious enough, Hyunjin boldly remarks, "Dare I say that you're my dream girl."
You remind yourself to keep your cool even though this beautiful man just told you that you're his ideal type of girl and it takes everything in you not to let out a hysterical scream.
"Do you have anyone you fancy here?"
You thought it was obvious to him but of course, he needs to hear it from you directly, "Well, I want to get to know you."
"But do you fancy anyone else?" He asks again.
You see that Hyunjin is here to make sure your head is not turning anywhere else, you want to keep your options open but for now, he's number one on your list. Still, you don't know what he's playing at so you stay cautious about it.
"You're my number one right now," you openly share with him.
A smile blooms on his face and Hyunjin nods in approval, his hand secretly inching closer to yours.
"What do you think about sharing a bed with me?" He asks with eyes that are filled with such intensity.
"Sharing a bed? With you?" You ask him back instead of answering, just so there's nothing lost in translation.
"Yes," he hastily answers.
You pretend to consider it for a while before nodding and coyly saying, "Okay."
He looks at you and the moment your eyes meet, you both crack a laugh at the same time like two teenagers in love.
"That leads me to another question," he continues.
You tilt your head to the side and hold all of your hair on one shoulder, "Yes?"
 "The rules are set, but that doesn't mean we have to follow them," he says to you
You always know that he's not giving a single fuck about the rules or having any intentions to follow them, and that scares you but in an exhilarating way.
"What would it take to get you to break the rules?" He asks with devilish glints filling his eyes.
That sounds more like a threat rather than a question but you don't feel threatened at all, you feel thrilled instead.
"Let's make it happen," he seductively says with inviting eyes and his teeth faintly biting his lower lip.
His words really are enchantments and you feel like submitting to his wishes without thinking, however, your conscience leads you the other way.
"I want to make it happen," you honestly tell him and because it's true, there's nothing you want more than kiss those luscious lips he occasionally lick and bite, and quench the thirst you have for this man.
"But we can't be the first," you continue.
There's no denying that at one point, you and Hyunjin will break the rules but you refuse to be the first to do that. The amount of shit anyone will get for being the first to rule break makes you shudder.
"We'll see," Hyunjin says with a nod.
He suddenly backs away and his hand flies to his lips, index, and middle fingers rubbing them as he's looking at you with observing eyes.
A thought crosses your head and it makes you think if Hyunjin suddenly loses interest after you indirectly rejected him and you start to overthink it until he leans in closer than before.
He tilts his head downward and looks at you through his lashes, then softly he says, "You're going to rule break with me."
-
YOU: This just feels like "Ooh..." I get a little chill from it. I need more.
-
This is the time to be afraid.
You're sharing the bed with Hyunjin tonight and those impulses will likely appear, and you're a hundred percent sure going to struggle to not go with it.
A smile rises on Hyunjin's face when you come and climb onto the bed. He throws the extra cushions onto the floor and pats your pillow before letting you rest on it.
"Thank you," you mutter, lying on the bed next to him.
Initially, you planned not to jump on the bed with a guy yet but something tells you that you may have something more with Hyunjin and you want to cultivate that further. He endearingly puts away the hair covering the side of your face so he can nuzzle his head into the crook of your neck.
"Mmh... you smell really nice," he sighs with eyes closed.
It's not much about the praise but the way he said it, softly yet seductively. And the warm breath that fans your neck isn't helping you to think of something to say back to him.
Somehow, you end up lying facing him on the bed and his face is merely inches away from yours. While the others are having a chat in the room, you both just look at each other and hold hands under the cover.
"I'm already dying to kiss you," he lowly mutters, not letting anyone else hear it.
You smile at that and are still unable to think of something to say when he's constantly having your eyes locked in a gaze with him.
"How am I going to kiss you?" He asks in a whispery voice.
He brings his head closer to you until his forehead meets yours, "I can't do it. I'm fucked," he whispers.
It seems like what he said to you triggered an impulse out of you and he best believes that you want to kiss him so badly too. However, you decide to have a little control over your impulses.
"We can do it like this," you suggest an idea by kissing two of your fingers then transfer the kiss by placing them on his plush lips.
Hyunjin chuckles and grabs your hand, he laces his fingers with yours before pushing it close to his chest.
"That's not enough," he says with an adorable pout.
You slowly lean in and place a sweet kiss on his cheek, letting go with a smile on your face.
"If you can go a little to the left and a bit further down, I'd really appreciate it," he playfully says.
You giggle at his creative effort to make you kiss him and as the lights switch off, Hyunjin overlaps your body with yours, then carefully, rests his head on your chest.
You put your hand in his dark locks and feel them slipping between your fingers as you brush them with your fingers.
"Your hair is so soft," you murmur.
"My lips are soft too," he murmurs back to you.
You lowly chuckle at his another effort to make you kiss him and instead of giving him that, you give him a gentle pat on the head.
"Goodnight," you murmur.
Hyunjin places a kiss on your neck and murmurs back, "Goodnight."
Even with your eyes closed, you're constantly battling your impulses not to kiss him or think of his body being on top of you.
-
YOU: I’m used to be the one getting the attention but all the girls here are stunning and finally, someone interested in me and it’s Hyunjin. [smiles]
-
Hyunjin feels the need to pinch himself on the cheek to know that it's not a dream.
He wakes up next to you and seeing your face the moment he opens his eyes this morning, you look so peaceful as you soundly sleep next to him that he doesn't dare to wake you up.
It's when the lights are on, that he sees your eyes fluttering open like a pair of butterfly wings, a mesmerizing thing to see in the morning.
"Morning," he softly says to you.
You sleepily smile as you rub the sleep of your eyes and slowly hoist yourself up to have a sip of water from your tumbler.
Everyone else is also waking up from their slumber, looking disoriented and sleepy, but not you, you look so angelic with a bare face and tousled hair.
"You look really good in the morning," he compliments you.
You grin with your mouth full of water, then mutter your gratitude once you swallow it. You probably think that the compliments he's giving you are just sweet nothings and that's okay, he understands if you think that way but that won't stop him from doing it.
"Morning, my man!" Hyunjin says as he makes eye contact with Andy who sleeps on the next bed.
He foolishly grins at him with his messy blond hair, "How was your sleep?"
Hyunjin uncaps his water tumbler while looking at him, "I had a boner all fucking night last night."
He wishes he was joking but it's true, he didn't have any problems when he shared the bed with Marie on the previous night and he thinks it happens because he's physically attracted to you. If only you knew how much he refrained from not kissing your lips or touching you all over when your body lying so close to him and molding against his body.
"What do you usually do in the morning?" You curiously ask while tying your hair into a messy bun.
How can he concentrate on answering your question when it's mesmerizing to see how you gather all of your hair at the top of your head, exposing your beautiful neck to him?
"Swimming," he finally replies.
Spotting a strand of hair escaping your bun, he tucks it for you behind your ear.
"What about you?" He asks back.
"Uhm... watching you swim," You answer with a cheeky laugh.
"I'd go skinny dipping then," he jokingly says.
"I'd love that even more," you joke back.
You're just too cute, he feels like squeezing you like you were a plush toy but instead of that, he nuzzles his head into your neck trying to tickle you.
Hyunjin does what he planned, he goes swimming on the beach instead of working out with the other guys and has breakfast after. He changes into a sleeveless top and swimming trunks, he is about to find you when he gets the notice that everyone gets called to the cabana.
Seeing that you're already wedged between Vic and Frida, Hyunjin has no other choice but to share the small sofa with Edouard on the side of the room.
Lana chimes shortly after everyone settled on their seats, "Hello, everyone."
"Hi, Lana," everyone replies at the same time in various tones.
"I regret to inform you that the rules of my retreat have already been broken," Lana announces.
Hyunjin doesn't know why everyone acts surprised when every single person in there has contributed to the first rule break that costs $20,000 at the beginning of the retreat.
A minute passes in silence as everyone tries to guess who has done these rule breaks.
"Okay? Who is it?" Marie asks around with her eyes scanning for any guilty faces.
Unbeknownst to him, the guy sitting next to him raises his hand. His first thought is who Edouard got it with? He can't know for sure with these people but he hopes it's not with you.
"We had a moment and we took it," Edouard says.
"Who's we?" You ask him with a knowing glance shot at Vic.
Okay, now he knows who Edouard got it with and playfully elbows his side to tease him.
"Vic and I," Edouard calmly answers, "It was nice, it's exactly what I wanted it to be and I'm open to seeing where things go with her."
Instead of complaining, everyone is cooing at him and admiring how earnestly he handles it. Hyunjin must admit that he's being a true gentleman for coming clean immediately.
"The kiss has cost the group $3,000," Lana informs.
And that isn't the worst one yet as Lana continues to reveal more rule breakers, "They were not the only ones to break the rule."
"Oh, stop it!" Marie says with the thickest British accent he ever heard coming out of her mouth.
For pure entertainment, Hyunjin tries to guess who else has broken the rules and he notices that Andy is exceptionally quiet right now when everyone knows he's the most talkative one.
"You've been hella quiet, Andy," he teases him.
In a second, the calm on Andy's face shatters, and he starts grinning out of panic for being caught hiding something.
"With Edie, yeah," he finally admits.
"There we go," Pablo mutters then lets out a heavy sigh.
It seems like Edie has been holding her breath the whole time when the truth finally out, her shoulders slumped as anxiety exits her body.
"I'm sorry, I did want to tell you guys, sorry," She says to everyone.
"The kiss has cost the group $3,000," Lana further informs.
Hyunjin thought he was the only one struggling to resist temptations but these rule-breakers have proven that he's not that bad after all.
-
HYUNJIN: Damn! I'm missing all the fun here [chuckles]
-
You keep teasing Vic for secretly having a kiss with Edouard and not telling you about it, she keeps giggling as you ask for details from her in whispers.
You can tolerate Vic and Edouard's rulebreak because you know how much Vic fancies him and it's great that Edouard fancies her back. Meanwhile, Andy and Edie's rule break, there's Edie in the equation so it's bound to happen but that'll be it, right? Because people would have said something by now if they did something.
Right?
"That is not all," Lana shockingly reveals.
Oh, you and your mouth. Honestly, though, what can you expect from these people who spent 20k when the retreat had hardly begun?
"There was one more breach of the rules," Lana informs.
You look from side to side, observing the people you're sharing the sofa with and then you see Frida fidgeting next to you.
"Shit," she lowly mutters to herself.
Diego and Frida are just too horny for each other so that's a given, but you're going to give them the chance to own up to their mistake.
"Just come clean and we'll keep our trust in you," Marie says to make anyone confess to their rulebreak.
Frida lets out an annoyed sigh then turns at Diego, "We should tell them!"
It annoys you too that Diego chooses to stay silent the whole time only to prolong the process not only for himself but also for everyone here.
Vic gently taps Frida's knee and asks, "Just a kiss?"
Frida sighs again and then meekly answers, "Two kisses."
But it annoys you still that Diego hasn't said anything but keeps his mouth shut while Frida is taking all the blame herself.
"Diego, say something!" You urge him.
Diego puts on a stupid grin and innocently says, "Surprise!"
Now, you wish he would keep his mouth shut, you roll your eyes at him and get more upset than before.
"These multiple kisses have cost the group $6,000."
One, or two kisses are acceptable but once everyone finds out how much a kiss costs, they're not sure if those kisses were worth it.
"That was expensive," you grumble out of reflex.
"What's done is done, guys," Diego coyly says, taking these rule breaks lightly like it didn't get everyone penalized for it.
"The prize fund now stands at $168,000," Lana comes up with the final bill at the end.
At this rate, you're not optimistic about having any money left at the end of the retreat.
"With 50% of you having already broken the rules, you have left me with no choice. From this point forward, all fines will be doubled," Lana comes with another shocking announcement like it isn't hard enough to accept today's financial loss.
"That's just great," Pablo sarcastically comments.
"Goodbye," Lana concludes with a grim goodbye.
-
YOU: It was hard to resist temptations, as I did with Hyunjin but what's the point if people are going to act like this?
-
Is it possible to get a boner from holding hands? Hyunjin thinks it's possible because he's close to having one as the two of you walk to the beach hand-in-hand, and you're swinging it back and forth as you go.
"I'm a bit nervous," you mutter to him.
"Why?"
"I don't know," you innocently reply with a giggle.
It's just a workshop and you shouldn't be nervous but he doesn't mind seeing you being this cute when you're nervous. Arrived at the beach, everyone gets greeted by a lady who he assumes is going to be one leading the workshop.
"Welcome to your first workshop in the retreat," she says to everyone.
The staff tells everyone to pair up and take places on the platforms provided for everyone. Obviously, Hyunjin is paired up with you because he wouldn't have it any other way.
"Hello, I'm Jax and I'm a relationship expert," she introduces herself with a courteous smile.
Everyone gives her a round of applause to warmly welcome her.
"It is obvious that everybody here has a lot of sexual energy and that is preventing you from achieving meaningful connections so what I'm going to teach in this workshop is new ways to channel that energy," she explains what's the aim of today's workshop.
Hyunjin notices the bowls of paint on the side of the platform and guesses that the workshop has something to do with them.
"So the goal right now, instead of doing what you might usually do and look for that physical release, you are going to grab the paint and transfer all of that sexual power and make a piece of art like you've never made before," Jax further explains.
"You'll notice that you're standing on blank canvases and your bodies are the brushes. Are you ready?"
"Yes!" Everyone replies in unison.
Jax senses everyone's excitement and smiles, "Alright. Let's do it!"
Hyunjin brings the bowls of paint over to the middle of the big canvas you both standing on and sitting there, can't decide what to do first.
"What color do you want?" He asks you.
"Uhm... pink?" You randomly choose out of the three different colors.
He picks it up and before he dips his fingers in them, an idea crosses his mind, "Lay down for me," he tells you.
You obey him without complaint but first, you have your hair tied into a high bun to not letting the paint all over it. You carefully lay yourself down and immediately shield your eyes from the bright sun with your hand, "What are you going to do?"
Before answering, Hyunjin sits next to you with a bowl of paint in one hand, "I'm going to do this," he says, rubbing the paint on the tip of your nose.
You scrunch your nose in reaction and playfully laugh, it seems that it works to help you loosen up.
"I'm going to draw the outline of your body," he finally tells you his plan.
"Okay," you say in approval.
Using his big hands, Hyunjin diligently works his drawing of the outline of your body on the canvas, intentionally nudging some parts of your body while doing it but what he anticipates the most is drawing the space between your legs.
"Can you pass me the blue, beautiful?" He sweetly asks since the paint is only an arm's length away from you.
You glance to the side and drag the bowl with your fingers until it's close enough for him to reach.
He scoops the blue paint with his hand and slowly draws the outline of your legs, he maintains eye contact with you as his hand climbs up the side of your legs. He can see that you're slightly arching your back as the back of his hand brushes the skin of your inner thigh and you raise your knee as his hand is inches away from that thing between your legs.
Then he abruptly stops and quickly retracts his hand from you, instantly depriving you of his touch. He hears your low, disappointed sigh and smiles in satisfaction at that, he decides to hover above you, shielding you from the sun with his body.
"Let's spice things up a little, yeah?" He murmurs with his face only inches away from yours and you're looking at him with wide, open eyes.
Before you can think of a response, Hyunjin lathers the remaining paint on his hand onto your chest. You gasp as the sticky texture of the paint makes contact with your skin then he drags it down to your abdomen.
He has to hold the urge to drag his hand further down and stop as his hand meets the straps of your bikini bottom, tugging at it before dragging his hand up your side.
"I'm not the canvas here," you remind him.
Oh, but your body is a canvas to him and he wants to paint you with his kisses, his touches, his bites, his marks, and his—
Splat! You unknowingly splash yellow paint onto his abs and laugh from successfully catching him off guard. He immediately catches your hand and puts it on his stomach, making you smear the paint with your hand around his toned abs.
"Guys, less on the body, more on the canvas!" Jax shouts, getting everyone back on track with the true purpose of the workshop.
"It's my turn on the top," you say to him with a sly smile on your face.
-
HYUNJIN: This is my chance to keep her focus on me. Also, this is a great excuse to get physical [smirks]
-
"Your partner is here to get your sexual energy up as high as possible before you can apply that energy to the canvas," Jax informs while she walks around to check on everyone's work.
But does everyone need the encouragement though? Because it seems like they know what they're doing, using this workshop as an excuse to get physical with their partners. You start to doubt if this is what Jax wants to see, the painting is nowhere close to being called an artwork but the tension keeps building and everyone is only getting hornier and hornier by the second.
And you're about to have your part of the fun as it's Hyunjin's turn to lie down on the canvas.
"Do we have more paints?" You ask while crawling around to find them.
Hyunjin props his elbows against the canvas, helping you to look for them, "I think it's on..."
As he turns to the side to check if you have found them, your crawl back and your asscheek bumps into his head, sending him collapsing onto the canvas.
You immediately turn around and reflexively apologize, "Oh, I'm sorry."
But Hyunjin looks rather enjoying the little incident as he's laughing with his hand on his chest, "No problem at all."
You gather all the bowls of paint close to you and begin to do the outline of Hyunjin's body with the red paint, you start from the bottom since it's going to take more effort to draw his long legs.
Once you're done with that, you decide to tease him by putting your whole weight to sit right on his crotch, making him groan in response.
"You did that on purpose," he says as he looks up at you.
You slyly smile and coyly respond, "You're pretending like that's a problem."
You continue by outlining his upper half body while straddling him while he gets to enjoy seeing you on top of him.
"What are you drawing now?" He curiously asks.
"I'm drawing a crown on top of your head," you answer while keeping your focus on the task at hand.
While you're busy drawing on the canvas, Hyunjin dips his fingers into a bowl of paint to draw on you. He goes for your neck, making small drawings on it with his index finger.
"Are you giving me a neck tattoo?" You ask as you pick different colors of paint for the drawing.
He then makes another small drawing on your chest and finally answers to your question, "Just marking places where I'm going to kiss you later."
That makes you stop for a second and glares at him as he makes another drawing, a little star on your inner thigh which makes you think of his lips getting on that very skin he draws on and it sends a tingle down your spine.
After spending too much time working on him, you get off him and let him inspect your work. He looks at you and places a hand on your back.
"You're quite the artist, babe," he praises with a smile on his face.
One praise is enough to make your cheeks heat and you tend to say stupid things in a situation like this so you only respond with a smile and immediately think of something to avert your attention to before it gets too hot in here, literally and figuratively.
"I think we should start filling the empty spaces," you suggest.
At first, you both go on your way to draw the empty corners of the canvas until he comes over to you, gets behind you, and puts his hands on yours. He puts all of your hands into two different bowls of paint at once and then draws on the canvas together with him.
It makes your brain short-circuit for a while as you can't decide which to put your focus on, on the drawing or how his body molds against yours.
"Let all your sexual energy out..." Jax continuously encourages everyone and notices she's coming over in your direction.
When you think she's going to call you out for not going through the proper way of the workshop, she likes what she's seeing instead.
"Yes, there we go, that's what I want to see!" Jax says.
With that being said, you feel more encouraged to do it and let Hyunjin draw while using your hands as the brushes. He puts your hands in the bowls of paint again and he lathers more paint up your wrists all the while his head is resting on your shoulder.
"Mmh..." you lowly whine as he slips his fingers into you inside the bowls of paint.
The half smirk appears on his face and he takes you to the other side of the canvas, working on it with the same position of him guiding you from the back.
You can hear his constant heavy breathing with the way his head lies so close to yours, but it's the whispers of the praises into your ear that get you flustered.
"Oh, I like that."
"You're doing a good job."
"Oh, that's nice."
"Keep going."
"You're so good with your hands."
The embarrassing part is how you are unable to properly respond to his sweet praises, all your brain can compute the whole time are these incoherent words and mumbles.
"Yeah."
"Mmh."
"Uh-huh."
And also, the occasional low moans that slipped out of your mouth which you believe he heard every single one of it.
By the time the workshop is finished, you can't decide whether you should feel relieved or disappointed that it's over. You doubt it at first but the whole process works on giving you the release you need that you and Hyunjin collapse onto the canvas, tired and out of breath.
"Give yourself a round of applause 'cause you guys did it!" Jax says, giving everyone a round of applause for the hard work.
At the end of the workshop, Jax makes everyone pick up their canvases to show their works for everyone else to admire. Hyunjin puts his hand on the small of your back as the two of you look at your painting while standing next to each other.
You can see yourself and him, the burst of colors, and it may be not a piece of artwork but it is beautiful to you, special even because you and Hyunjin made it.
"What do you think?" He asks.
You take the hand resting on your back, using it to pull him closer to you, "I think we did a good job!"
He smiles and pulls you into a hug, it feels nice and comfortable despite the paint that tainted both of your bodies. He pulls away just enough to look at you and softly says, "Thank you for making this masterpiece with me."
Physical things aside, he made you feel so involved and appreciated, and that shows a lot about his true personality. In other words, you like him a little bit more today.
-
YOU: I am quite convinced that Hyunjin only has eyes for me and that makes him way more attractive than the rest of the boys here.
-
If there's something Hyunjin can take from this workshop is that the sexual tension between you and him is out of this world. There's no other reason for it because all he can think about is how your body felt against him and how beautiful the noises you made when that happened.
Good thing he still has some self-control in him or else... he doesn't even want to think of the other possibilities. But tonight, he wants to try and explore the other possibilities and see if you're up for it.
He patiently waits for you, checking the dressing room once in a while to see if you're done getting ready. He sees an opportunity as you check yourself in the mirror and with a drink ready in his hand, he comes up to you.
"Get you a drink," he says.
You turn to the side and smile, taking the glass of wine from his hand, "Thank you."
You take a small sip while fixing your hair in front of the mirror and Hyunjin takes a stand next to you to get his reflection in the mirror.
"We're kind of matching," you point out.
He doesn't even notice the colors of your clothes because his eyes are busy lusting over your body, only noticing that the tight pants you're wearing match the colors of his shirts.
"Oh, yes, we are," he says, grinning as he likes what he's seeing in the mirror.
Then he remembers his plan for tonight, he places his hand on your back and asks, "Are you done?"
"Uh-huh," you say as your mouth is full of wine.
"Can you come with me?"
"Sure."
The bedroom is empty just like he checked a moment ago and he takes you there because getting you alone is the first thing to do to execute his plan.
He goes to your shared bed, getting on it while you sit on the end of the bed, quietly sipping your wine while he gets to look at you as much as he wants.
He likes your frilly white top as it exposes your beautiful shoulders but what he likes the most is how you don't wear a bra underneath, he can see your nipples subtly poking through the fabric.
"You look good in everything you wear," he sweetly compliments because it's the second thing to do on his plan.
You smile as you take another sip of your wine, half-heartedly taking his compliment and he gets it that you get used to guys complimenting you like this.
"You can pull anything off," he compliments again.
You lick your lower lips after taking a sip and ask, "How about nothing?"
His brain can easily picture you naked in a second and he gets so overwhelmed by it that he lets out an overwhelmed sigh, not hesitate to let you hear it.
"Oof..." he's shaking his head and props his hand against the mattress to lean close to you.
"You absolutely can pull that off too," he adds with a sly smile.
-
HYUNJIN: No one is going to stop me tonight [smirks]
-
How Hyunjin ends up lying between your legs is a mystery but it makes you a little nervous at how his head hanging low so close to where you want him.
He rests his cheek against your inner thigh and fiercely gazing into your eyes, "My god! You make me want to misbehave," he says with a sultry voice.
The glass of wine you have drained is not enough to calm you, it makes you feel a little lightheaded instead, especially seeing Hyunjin run his hand up and down your thigh.
He leans in and you can feel his breath on your exposed midriff, it feels hot on your skin. You feel the need to put on a space so you prop your elbow against the bed only to send his head close to your chest.
"Oh, my God," he mutters with a heavy sigh as his eyes shot at your breasts.
You only put yourself more in the situation but seeing Hyunjin up close like this, oh, he's just so beautiful that you hesitate to touch him. You put away the hair falling over his face and put it away, then gently cup his jaw in your hand.
He looks up at you with his eyes that shine for you, "You're fucking irresistible," he says with his voice dropping lower than before.
There's nothing arouses you more than a guy who openly shares how much he wants you and it stresses you so much that you can't do anything about it.
Without warning, he crawls over and forces you to lie back on the bed as he hovers above you, his hand lifting your leg and hooking it around his waist.
It's getting harder to breathe with how much you're holding yourself back, you suddenly get so hot all over and you look away like it would help you regain your senses.
"I'm so horny," you shamelessly admit.
You hear him lowly laughing then feel his hand grabbing your chin, turning your head at him again. He leans in for a kiss but you're quick to dodge away from it.
"Stop..." you mewl, covering his mouth with your hand.
Hyunjin knows you both want it and that doesn't stop him from going for another try. He keeps touching your exposed skin, lightly with just his fingertips and it's only about time until you fold again.
He places a soft peck on your cheek and mutters, "We can put Lana in the cupboard for a few minutes."
You take a long, deep breath but it's not helping you to calm down, if anything, it only heightens the tension in the room.
"We don't have to think about the rules now. We can think about it tomorrow," he persuades you.
His words are just so sweet and you can easily eat those up.
"We can think about it when it's time," he murmurs as he squeezes the flesh on your waist.
And he just keeps getting sexier and sexier by the second, you can't hold on for too long.
The next thing you know, you grab the nape of his neck and pull him for a kiss. You can tell how much he wants it from how hard and how deep he kisses you, apart from that, he knows how to use his tongue and to bite your lip in between the kiss to spice things up.
Your eyes stay closed even after a moment the kiss ends and find his eyes looking at you, but the first thing you notice is how your lipstick got all over his mouth.
"Oh, no..." you gasp, hurriedly wiping it off his lips.
It's best to wipe the evidence clean to keep this rule break under wraps and not risk becoming everyone's enemy.
"How about my face?" You ask him.
His eyes are looking nowhere but your lips, "You got a little something..." he says, swiping his thumb across your lips only to plant his lips on you again.
Hyunjin is good, he is so good that you don't have anything in you to resist him anymore.
"Oh..." A moan slips out of you as he parts your mouth open only to deepen the kiss.
Fuck it! You can worry about the money tomorrow but now, you're going to enjoy every bit of his kiss, letting yourself so immersed in it that you lost track of time and when he finally let go, you're gasping for air.
"That was really good," you breathlessly tell him.
"That's because you're a good kisser," he coyly says as he gently wipes your lips with his thumb.
"So are you," you whisper back.
The sound of footsteps in the hallway sent Hyunjin collapsing to the side of the bed and gasping in surprise.
"Fuck..." he sighs while running his hand through his hair.
You hurriedly get away from him and sit cross-legged on the bed, finding something to do to make it less suspicious. You end up holding your empty glass with both hands while looking in the direction of the door, anticipating whoever it is about to come into the room.
When the door opens, you put on a calm face and keep yourself busy by playing with your hair, brushing the end with your fingers.
It turns out to be Edie and Andy, they seem to be surprised to see you there too.
"Hey," Edie says, "What are you guys up to?"
Hyunjin is squeezing the cushion on his chest, "We're just chatting," he calmly answers.
It's impressive how Hyunjin can lie in such ease like that but at the same, you feel a bit alarmed by it.
Andy dives headfirst into the bed while Edie sits on the sofa bench in the middle of the room, crossing her legs by the ankle.
"Awesome," Edie responds.
"Pablo is going around telling everyone to not break the rules tonight," Andy says, his blonde hair is swept to the side and makes him look dapper.
"Yeah?" You ask while trying to sound casual.
You wish you still had some wine left in your glass to drink but it's empty and you slightly feel nervous, afraid that either Edie or Andy will get suspicious of you.
Hyunjin drops his hand on your knee, his thumb making lazy circles on it as a way to comfort you.
Edie smacks her lips together after taking a sip of her drink, "Yes and that's why we came here," she answers.
Andy rolls over and rests his back against the headboard of the bed, "How are you guys doing?" He suddenly asks.
Hyunjin lets out a low chuckle and turns his head at you, making you answer this one for both of you.
"So far so good," you manage to sound casual this time.
"Don't worry! We got this under control," Hyunjin adds with a convincing smile.
All of a sudden, Edie throws herself onto your bed and squeezes herself between you and Hyunjin. She glances at you and then at Hyunjin, your heart is beating so fast thinking that she caught on to your lies until she whispers.
"Guys, I have some gossip to tell you!"
You and Hyunjin exchange a quick look with each other knowing that none of them suspect anything and with that, you can let out a sigh of relief.
-
YOU: Well, [sighs] Hyunjin is just too irresistible, I— I just couldn't help it.
-
Hyunjin has broken the rules twice now and the fact that neither Edie nor Andy suspects anything only makes him think of how easy it is to break the rules.
Now he knows how sweet that forbidden fruit is, he feels like having another bite.
While everyone else is already tucked into the beds, Hyunjin goes to the dressing room knowing that you're there. He finds you standing by your closet and taking out your clothes. Even with your face already bare and your hair tied into a messy bun, you look just as attractive.
Planning to surprise you, Hyunjin quietly gets behind you and hoists you against his body, taking you with him to the small space wedged between the two huge closets.
"What are you doing?" You ask half giggling.
He turns you around and pushes you to the wall, pining you with his body.
"I'm about to kiss you," he says, leaning in for a kiss.
You look the other way, mewling in disapproval and a while later, look at him to say, "We can't break more rules."
Hyunjin takes your hands and puts them around his shoulders as he closes the gap between your bodies, impossibly close he can feel your chest heaving against him.
"Hyunjin..." you mewl again as he leans in again but he lets his lips land on your neck, trying to tease you another way.
The way you grip the nape of his neck and lowly whimper as he nibbles on your ear, Hyunjin can tell that it's working so he slowly drags his lips up the column of your neck.
To make sure you're not avoiding his kiss again, he gently holds your chin and plants his lips on yours. He takes his time, kissing you slowly yet deeply while feeling your body against him.
A moment later, you break the kiss with a gasp and then bury your head in his neck.
"Everyone is going to be so mad at us," you mumble.
Hyunjin doesn't even think about anything else at this moment, all he can think about is you and your body, and how he wants to ruin you in so many ways.
"We can stop," he says but his hand glides up to your chest and his fingers lightly trace your nipple against the fabric, making it hard for you to say no to him.
He intensely stares at you and waits if you're going to say anything to stop him from doing anything but he gets nothing but the same lustful eyes from you.
He pulls the strap of your top down your shoulder, sending your breast spilling out of it and he quickly takes it into his mouth. As he sucks on it, you let out a breathless whimper with your nails dug into his shoulder. Feeling mischievous, he takes more of the flesh and sucks harder, making you yelp in pain.
"Oh, fu—" You can barely finish your word. You hurriedly plant your mouth on his neck to keep yourself quiet.
Hyunjin knows he can't leave a mark so he stops himself from doing it, slowly pulling away while looking up at you with a string of saliva connecting his lips with your nipple.
Not letting the camera catch you half-naked, he immediately fixes your top for you while blocking you with his body.
He presses his mouth to your ear and softly whispers, "You're so fucking sweet."
You look down and shyly giggle in response.
Something about you being shy that makes him want to ruin you more, makes him bolder by the minute that he doesn't hesitate anymore to crash his lips against yours and kisses you harder.
-
HYUNJIN: This kiss is worth every penny and every amount of shit that I'm about to get [grins]
-
If breathing wasn't necessary, you believe Hyunjin wouldn't stop kissing you.
He reluctantly breaks the kiss with a low groan and then buries his head in your neck, putting all of his weight against you.
You steadily hold him and put your hand in his silky locks of hair, scratching at his head with your fingertips. If it weren't for the other people, you would have stayed in there and probably continued the make-out session. However, you're aware that the longer you two are absent from the bedroom, the more suspicious they'll get.
Before he gets to do anything else, you put your hands on his chest and slowly push him away from you.
"It's getting late," you murmur at him.
As he reacts with a pout at you, you place a kiss on his cheek to console him and a quick ruffle on his hair. He slips his arms around you to hug you one more time to finally obey you.
It's a little nerve-wracking to walk back into the bedroom together, you try to act normal and try not to make any eye contact with anyone in the room as you walk to your bed.
You look at Hyunjin and he looks calm as if he didn't just kiss the life out of you back in the dressing room. He throws the decorative pillows onto the floor and pulls the duvet now, climbing onto his side of the bed.
It puts you at ease that no one is suspecting anything or that's what you see as they're busy chatting with their respective bed partners. You can't tell if you should consider it as luck because you slightly fear that Hyunjin is going to get bolder now, especially once the lights are out.
"Goodnight everyone," Edie sweetly says in the dark.
You look over your shoulder to the bed next to yours, "Night, Edie."
She outstretches her hand at you and you grab at it, "Night, sexy babe," she says back at you.
You pull the duvet to cover your legs and when you rest your head, Hyunjin's arm is already there, offering it as your pillow. He pulls you close once you lay down and kisses your neck.
"Mmh... so tired," he hums.
You slip your hand into the gaping hole on his sleeveless top and rest it on his back, "What have you been doing all night, mmh?" You poke fun at him.
He chuckles hearing your question and plants a kiss on your bare shoulder. You cautiously track his hand movement as it's dangerously going down your spine.
"Want to kiss you again," he whispers into your ear.
Your guess turned out to be right so you prepare yourself to anticipate his next move, but there's not much you can do with how tightly he holds you.
The second he leans in, you hurriedly tilt your head down so that his lips land on your eyebrow and you laugh at how he failed to kiss you.
"Oh, what did I kiss?" He asks in pure confusion.
"That's my eyebrow," you answer while still laughing.
He retracts his hand from your back and places it on the nape of your neck to keep your head steady as he leans in again and he goes on a kiss rampant all over your face.
You're quick to cover your lips with your hand but once he realizes you have your hand blocking his lips from kissing yours, he continues to ferociously kiss you.
Hyunjin eventually gives up but keeps you close to him, putting a safe space between your bodies but resting his hand on your waist to not let you get away from him.
Your hand returns to his back again, caressing his warm skin with the back of your hand, and doing it helps you calm down.
Sensing that he's getting drowsy too, you place a sweet kiss on his cheek and say, "Goodnight."
Even in a dark room, you can see him smiling at you as he says it back to you with a gentle squeeze on your waist and it feels nice.
-
YOU: I feel bad that we broke the rules but it was for a good cause.
-
The first thing Hyunjin does when he wakes up is put his arm around you and nuzzle his head in your neck.
"Morning," you mumble to him while putting his hair away from covering his face.
"I had such a good sleep," he murmurs to you.
"Did you?" You say with a sly smile.
After those kisses, you realize that you're not just physically attracted to him, you genuinely like him and it only convinces you to keep building this connection with him.
"Good morning!" Andy shouts into the room and you don't know where he gets that burst of energy this early in the day.
You look at Edie who's slightly disoriented and coo at her, "Morning, Edie baby!"
She pouts and runs her hand through her messy blond hair and twists it in her hand before securing it with a hair claw.
"I heard giggles last night," she says to you.
"From here?"
"Yeah," she answers.
"I feel like you guys broke the rules yesterday," Frida accused you two out of the blue.
 Somehow, you manage to calmly respond to her, "No, we didn't."
Hyunjin lifts his head to look at Frida and backs you up, "We did not."
You bravely look at Frida in the eyes to convince her as you add, "Just cuddling all night."
What you said seems to assure the group for now, but you know that people are starting to get suspicious of the two of you. In defense, you didn't lie, you're just withholding the truth,
-
YOU: I'm not lying, I'm just... withholding the truth [shrugs]
-
To say that you're jealous of Vic and Edouard getting a date tonight from Lana would be an understatement.
However, you're more scared of the reason why you don't get a date with Hyunjin. Lana sees everything and she knows that you break rules, in fact, she's going to expose you for it sooner or later.
You're on your second glass of wine when the call to the cabana comes and frantically searches for Hyunjin since he's the other person who knew about the rule breaks. You reunite with him on the way to the cabana and he probably knows how nervous you are from how cold your hand is as he holds it.
Like it isn't obvious enough, you tell it to him once you're both seated on the sofa, "I'm nervous."
"I know," he calmly says.
You don't know how much money you and Hyunjin spent but you know for sure that everyone is going to hate you for it.
Lana chimes and you feel like your heart just dropped to your stomach.
"In order to incentivize you to follow the rules, yesterday I doubled the fines and organized a workshop to help re-channel your sexual energy in healthy and creative ways."
It's not a good thing when Lana skips the greeting and goes straight into business, you understand why and you feel faint the closer you get to the truth.
"It seems these measures failed on every level."
"What did she say?" Marie asks.
Everyone else stays quiet as they still processing Lana's words and a moment later, the whodunit game begins. The first one to get accused of doing this is the couple who just came back from the date.
"Swear to God, we didn't do anything," Edouard immediately cleared himself and Vic from any accusations.
Andy has a bad poker face and gives himself away for everyone to see, he has no other option but to admit it right away.
"Yeah, we kissed."
"We had some time alone and we kissed, all right?" Edie explains.
"So that justifies it?" Pablo asks with a disapproving look.
"It doesn't justify it," Edie agrees with him.
"We had to go all day without knowing anything," Pablo says.
Seeing everyone's reaction to Edie and Andy's rule break only makes you anxious about what's coming to you.
"This kiss has cost the group $6,000," Lana announces the new price for a kiss.
-
YOU: I don't want to deal with everything they're dealing with right now.
-
Hyunjin does a calculation in his head. He can't even remember how many times he kisses you but if a kiss costs $6,000, the sum of what he did last night is going to be so expensive.
"That's expensive," Vic comments.
Everyone is going to know how expensive it will get when they find out how much he spent last night. He sure as hell knows there was more than one kiss.
"However, this was not the only breach of the rules," Lana continues.
Hyunjin gulps air because he knows his time has come. He gives everyone the time to prepare themselves for the truth. He looks to the side and sees you're fidgeting, he knows he can't stall it anymore.
It's time, he grits his teeth and does it, "Okay guys, listen, the first time we kissed—"
"Wait, what? The first– you kissed more than once?" Frida aggressively attacks him for it.
Shit! He shouldn't have said that, but he doesn't expect anyone to notice it either. Things are not going well with everyone going hostile on you and him all at once.
"Did you guys do something else?" Vic asks.
That's not the question Hyunjin needs right now, he gulps air again but it feels like he's trying to dry swallow a big pill.
"Look, it's—"
"Oh, my God!" Frida disappointingly says.
"What is it? What did you do?" Vic asks.
"Just touching, there was fondle... I-I don't know," you stammer while trying to explain.
"Are you serious?" Marie hysterically says.
The more he tries to explain, the worse it gets so he gives up on saying anything but waits for Lana to see where it goes.
"These rule breaks have cost the group an additional $30,000," Lana announces.
Everyone reacts in the same disappointing tone of groans and moans.
"The prize fund now stands at $132,000."
Hyunjin doesn't expect it's going to be that expensive, oh well, now he sees the consequences of his actions and is ready to accept his punishment.
"I'm sorry, guys," you apologize to everyone.
"Me too. I'm sorry," he adds with all sincerity.
"We've lost almost half of the money and it hasn't been a week," Marie scolds.
He sees it now that you're both walking on the fine edge and everyone's trust is on the line. It gets worse as Lana calls both of your names.
"Although you are displaying early signs of a deeper bond, you are spending too much energy concentrating on a physical connection rather than an emotional one."
Lana sounds mad and that's not good, Hyunjin can only hope that she doesn't kick him out this early on the retreat.
"And as you have cost the group the most money, I am setting you an additional test."
Test? When it comes to Lana's test, Hyunjin can only think of one thing and it can't be it, right?
"You will spend the night in the suite."
One thing for sure is he's relieved to not get kicked out of the retreat and for the rest... he's not sure he's going to do well on the test.
"This is your chance to show the group that your connection is more than just physical," Lana says.
Looking at everyone's doubtful look at him, Hyunjin feels the need to say something to them.
"If resisting is going to earn your trust back then I'll do it," he remarks.
Pablo sneers and says, "You lied to us. Your words don't mean until you prove it."
Ouch, that offends him but it gives him just the right motivation to prove them wrong.
"You may now leave," Lana orders.
He gets up first and offers his hand to help you, holding your hand as he exits the cabana to go to the private suite.
-
HYUNJIN: We have to earn everyone's trust back. The problem is, I have no self-control.
-
The private suite is the small guest house located not far from the main villa.
Once you get inside, you can see that the interior isn't that much different either, it's cozy and spacious. What gets your attention is how the staff decorated the room with scented candles lined up on one side of the wall, and rose petals scattered on the bed.
"What do we have here?" Hyunjin says, scanning the room for interesting things.
"Champagne, roses..." he goes to the side of the bed and picks up a furry handcuff.
"Sex toys, condoms, lubricant, oils oh..." he groans as he lists everything he finds on the bedside table.
You walk up to the bed and sit on the end of the bed, chuckling at Hyunjin's expression as he explores the tray full of various sex toys.
"You just want to make trouble, huh Lana? You want to see shit go down," you loudly shout, knowing that Lana is watching everything.
As Hyunjin walks up to you, you hold out your leg at him and rub his shin with your foot.
"Take my shoes for me, please?" You sweetly ask.
"With pleasure," he says, squatting on the floor to do what you ask. He patiently unties the laces of your heeled sandals and takes them off of you.
As he gets up from the floor, he keeps holding your legs by the ankle and lifts them, sending you lying down on the bed. He stands by the edge of the bed and holds your legs close to his chest, he runs his hands up and down the side of your legs while looking down at you.
"Is this how we're going to do it?" You playfully ask.
"Oh, you don't know what's coming for you," he seductively says, parting your legs open then puts himself in between.
There's no denying that Hyunjin is beautiful but it's only now that you have the chance to take a good look at him. You notice his shiny dark hair which he tied into a messy bun, the necklace dangling around his neck, the muscles on his arms and the veins coiling around them, and a pair of big hands with rings adorning his long fingers.
You like his hands more when they're on you but they're now propped against the bed as he hovers above you and you're about to crumble under his lustful gaze.
"The bed is perfect," you try to talk about something else entirely.
"When the lights go out it'd be like this," Hyunjin starts bouncing himself on the bed and sending the bed quaking.
He eventually stops and has you pinned under him again, burying his head in your neck, and attacking you with ferocious little kisses.
You would be lying if you said it does nothing to you, it makes the butterflies fly around in your stomach.
It doesn't take long for his kisses to turn harder, deeper and he begins to move his hand around your body. You badly want to keep him going but you know better you should do the opposite.
"At least pretend like you have some self-control," you mutter to him.
He abruptly stops moving and lightly chuckles, he pulls away to look at you, "Yeah, we're better than that."
He puts himself on top of you again, letting you hold him close and play with his hair. A moment later, he gets up while unbuttoning his shirt with one hand, completely unaware of how attractive he is for doing that.
"I'll get the bath ready," he says.
"Okay."
-
YOU: I don't think I can hold back. I want to be bad, so bad [Smirks]
-
Hyunjin dips his hand into the water to check the temperature, making sure it's not too hot or cold. Getting the temperature just right, he turns the faucet to stop the hot water and walks out of the bathroom.
"The bath is ready," he announces, finding you drinking a glass of white wine on the bed.
You nod and drain your glass, putting the empty glass away to start unbuttoning your blouse.
"What are you doing?" He asks.
"Taking my clothes off," you innocently answer, taking your blouse off and setting it aside.
He thought that you would go to the bathroom first to do that, not that he minded it but seeing you taking your clothes off on the bed makes his mind go wild, all sorts of lewd thoughts rushing through his head as you sit on the bed while hugging yourself with both arms to cover your breasts.
"Do you mind helping me with my skirt?" You ask for another while unzipping the skirt.
He didn't realize he'd been staring at you and quickly getting ahold of himself, "Yes, sure."
The skirt is a little tight and tugging around your hips, he has to use his strength to take it off. You lift your hips so he can easily pull it down, revealing the black lacy underwear you're wearing underneath.
The sight of your naked body splayed on the bed makes him salivate and it stresses him out that he's not able to do anything about it. He keeps licking his lips as his throat gets dry the more he thinks about touching you.
You get off the bed and go to the bathroom with both hands crossed in front of your chest, "Come on, the water is getting cold," you remind him.
Hyunjin brings the bottle of champagne and the bowl of strawberries to the bathroom, putting them on the side of the tub. He hands you your glass so he can fill it with the white wine.
"Thank you, baby," you mutter and have a sip of wine.
He puts the bottle down and leans down with his hands gripping the edge of the tub, leaving only a few inches of space between your faces.
"Let me see..." he says, taking a moment to look at you.
He doesn't fill the water high enough to get to your chest and he can see your breasts, wet and moist from the scented water. He so badly wants to cup them and see how they fit perfectly in his hands.
His eyes travel back up and looks at your face, sighing in delight as he finds you smiling at him. He allows himself to lean in and kiss your neck, a kiss on the column of your neck and another one on the skin behind your ear.
"You're so beautiful," he praises you.
You lean forward to softly place a kiss on his inner arm, "Get in, quick, don't make me wait," you tell him.
It's not hard to be confident when he has all of your attention on him, he knows he has to make it a good show for his special audience.
He maintains eye contact with you as he unbuckles his belt, he swiftly unzips his fly and tugs his fingers into both his jeans and boxers, planning to take them all off at once, exposing himself to you.
He catches the wild glints in your eyes and the way you swallow air as your eyes dart to the thing between his legs, knowing that being in this room with you is enough to cause him a semi-hard.
"Oh, man," you say to yourself, finishing your wine in one long sip as if the sight of him makes you thirsty.
That gives him a boost of confidence, he carefully gets into the tub and lowers himself down, letting the water engulf him in warmth and floral scents.
He gropes around underwater for your feet and puts them on his chest, playing with them as he looks at you from the other end of the tub.
"I'm down to whatever you want to do," he says to you.
You hold your hand out at him, "Do we have a deal then?"
He gladly grabs your hand and shakes it, "Deal!"
To seal the deal, you both clink your champagne flutes together for a toast and have a sip.
"I want to sit on your lap," you tell him.
"Do what you want," he says with such ease, ignoring that the proximity is not going to do him good.
You're slowly making your way to him, not wanting to send the water sloshing out of the tub and sit on his lap like you wanted.
The sudden rise in the temperature is not from the bathwater, it's from the tension that keeps building between you and him.
"How am I not dying right now?" He sighs, looking up at you with your hands around his shoulders.
You lean in until your nose meets his in the middle, "Why is that so?"
He's his hands on each side of your waist and resisting to go lower than that, then sighs again, "Because you're so fucking hot."
You crack a laugh and put the hair escaping your messy bun, you notice the bowl of strawberries on the side of the tub, reaching for it.
"I want one," he requests.
You pick one and feed it to him but he tugs it between his teeth, gesturing you to take a bite of it. You slyly smile then lean in, taking a bite of the strawberry and cautiously doing it to not make contact with his lips.
Hyunjin shoves the rest that you can't bite into his mouth and chews on it, he spots the chocolate dips inside the bowl of strawberries.
"Dip it into the chocolate next," he orders.
Even though you're still chewing, you reach for the bowl and pick a strawberry, dipping it into the melted chocolate like he asked.
You immediately bring it into his mouth, not risking the chocolate to drip into the tub and he hurriedly opens his mouth for you.
The bathtub is safe from chocolate but it gets all over his chin, you wipe it with your thumb only to smear it all over his mouth.
"You did it on purpose," he teases you, half laughing.
"Licking is not against the rules, right?" You doubtfully ask yet go for it without waiting for the answer.
Your tongue feels hot and slick on his chin, and somehow, it feels way more sexual than a kiss as you land a long lick across his lips, then use your thumb to clean the rest.
"All good now," you inform.
Spotting your fingers coated with chocolate, he takes them into his mouth and gently sucks on them, making you watch him doing it as he looks at you through his lashes.
"More champagne?" You offer.
"Yes, please," he answers, holding your glass for you and his for you to refill.
He initiates another toast, he takes a quick sip so he can watch you drink your wine. You're tilting your head to have a long sip and accidentally sending it dribbling down your chin, then onto your chest.
"You made a mess, baby," he tells you.
"It's your turn to clean it up for me," you playfully dare him.
Feels challenged, he pulls you closer and leans into your chest, not hesitating to lick it clean for you. He gasps when he pulls away and grins in satisfaction, anything that requires him to make physical contact with you is a win for him.
An idea crosses his head and he follows up to that by spilling his wine onto your chest.
"Oops..." he mischievously says with a sly grin.
You put on a sassy eye roll at him and put your hands on his chest, holding him by the neck then without warning, bringing his head to your chest.
Hyunjin is more than glad to be there, drinking and tasting your skin as you pour more wine down your chest. All this drinking won't quench his thirst for he has an endless thirst for you.
The next thing he knows, he's holding you close until your breasts squashed between your chests, nothing in between, skin to skin. This level of intimacy is new to him yet he feels exceptionally at ease.
He places a hot kiss on your neck and brings his mouth close to your ear, "I want to kiss you," he whispers.
You place your forehead against his and sweetly smile, "Let's save it for later, mmh?" You tell him, then softly kiss his nose.
Now all Hyunjin can think about is when he kisses you, it'll taste of strawberry and champagne.
-
HYUNJIN: I don't know if I trust myself right now [shakes head]
-
The slap on your asscheek startles you as you brush your hair in front of the sink.
"Giddy up! Let's get to bed," Hyunjin says, ogling at your ass and tempted to land another slap.
"Just a second," you tell him, patiently brushing the end of your hair before turning around to face him.
You throw your arms around him and he catches you right away, hoisting you against him to take you to bed. You tightly cling to him and put your legs around his waist.
"Oh!" You loudly moan as he throws you on the bed and puts himself on top of you next.
To not put his whole weight on you, he props his elbow against the bed and looks down at you, he plays with the thin strap of your silk camisole, twirling it around his slender finger.
"For fuck's sake! Can you stop looking so sexy?" He says with a heavy and erratic breath.
You watch his hand go down the front of your body, holding your breath when it gets dangerously close to where you want him.
At the same time, you feel like teasing him because it's fun to see him trying not to fold. You open your legs as his hand reaches your abdomen and he stops moving.
"Don't open your legs!" He demands.
You shut them and open them again the next second, spreading them wide, showing off your thin white underwear that barely covers your private part.
"Oh, fuck!" He curses out loud, struggling to not touch you there.
Before his intrusive thought wins, you take his hand and place it around your waist as you lay on your side, facing him to stare at his beautiful face.
You let your hand run down his bare chest, caressing the skin with your knuckle. You badly want to place kisses all over him so you go for it, going for his neck first then his chest next.
Hyunjin lays back on the bed and lets you continue, tracing the outline of his abs with your hand while your lips are busy placing searing kisses across his chest.
"How am I meant to resist?" He sighs as he takes a fistful of your hair in his hand.
You go for his ear, nibbling at it and taking a gentle bite at it, laughing when you see his reaction.
"Oh, I'm fucked," he groans yet with a grin on his face.
Hyunjin hovers above you again, looking at you with eyes wide and dark with desire, almost like a predator about to eat his prey.
You softly scratch the nape of his neck and then both of his ears which you notice are reddening as you play with them.
"I'm only waiting for you to say the word," he murmurs to you.
The word is on the tip of your tongue, it has been since the moment you step into the room and being alone with him. But there's too much at stake, the money and the trust you need to earn back.
Hyunjin is just good at doing that, distracting you with his plush, luscious lips. The long kiss he's planting blurs your judgments and makes you forget what is right and wrong.
The hand resting on your stomach steadily holds you down as he keeps kissing you all over your neck and chest, making you hot all over.
"Just say the word and I'll do it," he whispers to you.
This is such a dilemma. You want to be good but the bad in you keeps wanting to come out and play, especially with Hyunjin on top of you.
"I think it'll be the most expensive suite of the season," you say.
He detaches his lips from your jaw and says, "I'm more than happy to make that happen."
Caught between two choices, you think hard for a moment, considering all the pros and cons of both choices. But how your judgment is going to be fair when Hyunjin starts to go down on you, planting kisses down the front of your body?
He places a long, heavy kiss on your abdomen just right above the waistband of your underwear, then he lifts his head and asks, "How it's going to be, mmh?"
Gosh! How can you resist this sexy man? Even if you can, do you have the will to? You put your hand in his hair and tug at it.
"Let's give Lana something good to watch," you answer with a smirk.
-
YOU: Sorry, Lana but you put me in this situation.
-
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kkami-writes · 9 months
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that hufflepuff boy
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pairing. hufflepuff!felix x slytherin!fem!reader ft! hufflepuff!bangchan, slytherin!seungmin, ravenclaw!hyunjin synopsis. The moment you stepped into the halls of Hogwarts your classmates had deemed you as the princess of slytherin, a title you learned to hate. If only they knew that the cold, seemingly proper girl was absolutely head over heels for Hufflepuff's resident sunshine boy, Lee Felix. tags/cw. hogwarts!au, fluff, maybe some angst if you squint, lots and lots of mutual pining, acquaintances to lovers, side seungjin, smut, slight corruption, public sex (library), virgin!felix, oral (m + f receiving), vaginal fingering, pet names (princess, love), unprotected sex (don't do it), swallowing of cum
disclaimer!!! both felix and reader are 18+, consenting adults at the time of smut. word count. 5k (5,155)
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The first time you had met Felix is during third year, on a random spring morning as the two of you were paired up during potions. It had been a rough first three years for you as the nickname of Slytherin’s princess had been pushed upon you solely based on your parents' old-fashioned views. Even in this more progressive time, there were still a fair amount of pure-blood purists despite it being an unpopular stance after the second wizarding war.
Still, people had assumed you had thought the same as your parents and being sorted into slytherin hadn’t helped your case. Reluctantly, you instead fell into your role as the prim and proper princess they thought you were - no one had ever bothered to even ask if you could think for yourself or had your own opinions. Although you did have a few actual friends, the isolation you had felt from your peers had made you slightly bitter. 
So when you’re paired up with a random hufflepuff who gives you the brightest smile you’ve ever seen, one that could easily rival the sun - you’re a little starstruck. You don’t think anyone has ever looked at you like this and it easily makes your cheeks darken. He treats you like a normal person, as if you were already friends and it’s…refreshing to say the least. The last person you got partnered up with had sat as far away from you as they could and didn’t talk unless absolutely necessary. 
You’re surprised that you work well with the boy, him making small conversation and keeping you engaged in the potion work. Felix is nice, almost too nice, and you’re sure he’s like this with everyone but you still feel a surge of happiness when he laughs at one of your small jabs. You can’t help but think the sound is just as sweet as him. 
As class ends, you’re packing up your books and Felix waves goodbye to you with that pretty smile on display. 
“Bye! I hope we can talk again!” Then he’s gone and you’re left sitting there a little dazed as you stare at his retreating figure, something stirring in your chest that you’re not 100% sure of, but you do know one thing. 
And it’s that Felix is made up of sugar, everything nice and sun kissed freckles, and you’re pretty sure you’re fucked.
By fifth year you had fully recognized that the flowers blooming your chest was pure adoration for the hufflepuff. You had been sitting in the library with Seungmin, who was busy with his nose in a book and blatantly ignoring your obvious heart eyes towards a certain boy who sat not too far away at his own table; him and his quidditch captain Chan were probably going over some strategies for the upcoming game this weekend. Hyunjin was on your left, the ravenclaw busy with another one of his drawings he often did. 
You let out a small dreamy sigh, one that was barely audible but it was enough to have your fellow slytherin rolling his eyes and closing his book.  “Are you for real? You look so pathetic…how long have you been pining over that hufflepuff for?” He groans, throwing his head back. 
“Aw, I think it’s kinda cute,” Hyunjin chimes in, not looking up from his drawing.
“That’s because you’re a hopeless romantic,”
“Ok mister I read romance novels,” At this Seungmin’s ears tinge red and you think he might throw his book at the male. They thought you were annoying with your crush? They should look at themselves. With Seungmin thinking he was slick with his hidden gazes towards the ravenclaw or the many sketches Hyunjin had of the slytherin. 
“Can you two shut up? I’m busy pining over here,” They both roll their eyes at you now. 
“Honestly? I’m surprised he’s your type. I thought someone like Minho hyung was your type,”
“It’s because Felix is the only one willing to give yn any time of the day,” You swat at Hyunjin for that and he simply clutches his arm dramatically, whining your name. 
As you play fight with your friends (was it really playing though? The three of you were probably gonna get kicked out of the library soon), it goes unnoticed by you that someone else had been staring a little too long over at your table, his eyes sparkling as he watched you interact with the two who were usually never seen without you. He’s pulled from his thoughts as his own best friend and quidditch captain Chan nudged him from his tiny daydream. 
“You good mate? You've been staring at her for a while. We are supposed to be going over strategies,” He teases lightly as he watches Felix’s ears turn a little red. 
“Um, right. Sorry! I’ll focus, I promise,” Chan laughs, his signature dimples showing as he ruffles up the blonde’s hair.
“It’s fine, I should probably go study for my n.e.w.t.s anyway and we have practice tomorrow so we can go over more stuff,” Felix nods, agreeing with him before his gaze is once again glancing over towards you and it looks like you’re about to strangle Seungmin, while Hyunjin holds you back by your robes with a bored look on his face. He can’t help but laugh at your guy’s ministrations - he loved that you had slowly come out of your shell since third year and had found some good friends.
Well, at least he hoped they were just friends. He wouldn’t go as far to say the two of you were friends either, just acquaintances, mostly talking to each other in the halls when you passed by or occasionally partnering up during class. But Felix still did not have the guts to ask you out on a date, the fear of rejection controlling him. Chan is nudging him again and he’s pulled out of yet another daydream.
“Damn, you’ve got it bad huh? You’ve barely even talked to her for the last two years,” “Hey, that’s not true!! I say hi to her everytime I see her in the hall!”
“Uh huh. Why are you so interested in her anyway? Aren’t her parents blood-purists? I don’t think they’d approve of a muggleborn, no offense. And she is called the slytherin princess for a reason,” 
“Yeah but she’s not like that,” Felix is quick to defend you, not that he really thought Chan believed in those kinds of rumors - he was just curious about his crush.
“How do you know?” “Just- okay in third year, I remember everyone telling me to beware of the ‘slytherin princess’” he makes quotations with his fingers. “That she was cold and mean and definitely would not be nice to a muggleborn like me. But then we got partnered together during potions and she was really nice? And funny? I just thought you know, that she couldn’t be that bad. Plus! Seungmin and Hyunjin are both half-bloods, and they’re like her best friends. When we talk, just the two of us, she’s kinda shy to be honest. It’s cute and all but, when I see her like that,” Felix points to you, who is laughing hard at a joke Seungmin had said, both you and Hyunjin holding onto each other as you wheeze. The librarian shushes you loudly and gives the three of you yet another warning, only one away from getting kicked out. “When she’s alone with her friends she blossoms into this really bubbly and bright personality and I just - I want to be able to bring out that side of her when she’s with me. I wanna be able to get to know her more…you know…maybe ask her on a date,” He flushes at that and Chan lets out a low whistle that gets his own little hush from the librarian.
“Yeah, you are down atrocious my man. I think it’s time to put on your big boy pants. You should ask her out, after the hufflepuff vs slytherin game. After we win you can ask if she wants to go celebrate,” 
“Oh..that might be a good idea. She always comes to the games for Seungmin. But wait, what if we lose?” 
(Felix will later find out that you had only ever attended the Hufflepuff vs Slytherin games just so you could watch him, something Seungmin always complained and pouted about.  “I’M your best friend! You should be watching for me!! Not that stupid pretty Hufflepuff,” “So you admit he’s pretty?”
“I fucking hate you,” ) “Then you ask her if she’ll take you on a date so you can get over this horrific loss we have faced,”
“That…makes me sound like a loser,” Chan just shrugs. 
“Listen, if it gets you a date who cares,”
“Ok, yeah. You’re right. First, we’re gonna stomp Slytherin into the ground. And then- I’m gonna ask her out,”
Felix did not in fact put on his big boy pants on. While they had in fact won the game, he had frozen when you hopped over to him, a pretty smile on your face as you congratulated him on the win. His mind blanked, head empty as he just stared at how pretty you looked and how he wished he could give you his Hufflepuff scarf for you to wear. He wanted you to cheer for him during his quidditch games. He thinks you’d look breathtaking in yellow. 
But instead he said a quick ‘thanks!’ before running away, face completely red and leaving you behind with a small disappointed look on your face.
By seventh year, you were no closer to being over your infatuation with the pretty freckled Hufflepuff. Even though you had dated other people here and there, no one could compare to the way your heart reacted whenever you talked to Felix briefly in the halls. 
Still, you had slightly given up hope that the boy would reciprocate your feelings. Afterall, he had shown no signs of being into you - despite what Seungmin and Hyunjin had told you. You were still scared of rejection, that he wouldn’t be interested in a Slytherin like yourself, much less one still dubbed the princess of snakes. 
Yet Felix continued to treat you the same as always, greeting you in the hallways with that sweet smile of his and it never failed to put butterflies in your stomach. 
So when you’re paired up for a project in potions again, you can’t help the excitement that builds in your chest. It’s a more extensive project, requiring you to brew a particularly complex potion, needing to do research in the restricted section as well as write an essay. 
“Hey!” Felix greets you with that devastating smile and you pretend you’re not melting on the inside. His voice had gotten so deep and that blasted australian accent was constantly trying to make your knees buckle when you heard it. You can see Seungmin in your peripheral vision, pretending to gag over how pathetic you look face to face with your crush. Subtly you flip him off and you can hear his infectious laugh as he walks out of the classroom, probably off to find Hyunjin.
“Hi Felix,” 
“So, when are you free to work on the project?” “Honestly whenever you’re free, I know practice must keep you busy captain,” At the title his cheeks flush involuntarily, scratching his cheek shyly. Oh what you wouldn’t give to kiss his beautiful freckled cheeks.
“Yeah well, Seungmin has been keeping us on our toes. He’s always been good at strategy and as captain he’s really proved himself. But besides practice I'm pretty free too. We have practice on Wednesdays and Fridays. So we could do the project this weekend? If you want of course, we could pick another day if you want,” 
“Nope, this weekend sounds perfect,”
“Great, wanna meet at the library at one?” 
You nod and he gives you a small smile before bidding you goodbye. And that’s how you end up with a study date with one Lee Felix. (Neither of you had said the word date but you could dream and live in your delusions for a while. At least before Seungmin pulls you back down from the clouds.) 
Saturday comes much faster than you expect and you take almost half the morning preparing yourself - perhaps taking a little extra time on your makeup and hair. Of course you make sure not to go too overboard, just accentuating your features a little more, wanting to impress the way too pretty Hufflepuff. 
Even though you show up to the library ten minutes early, you’re surprised to find Felix already there with a book open and taking notes. When he looks up to see you his expression brightens up significantly, waving you over quickly. He’s rendered you speechless with a simple look and you can feel those annoying butterflies fluttering in your stomach. 
“Sorry did I keep you waiting? I thought I was early,” You say as you take a seat next to him, pulling out your own notes and potion textbook.
“Oh no, don’t worry. I uh- got here early to get us a spot next to the restricted section,” Your head nods in understanding as you bite back a laugh, the library practically empty due to it being a Saturday. 
After some brief small talk, the two of you get into researching the potion, taking extensive notes on how to properly brew the concoction without causing your cauldron to explode. It was a tricky potion, requiring absolute perfection in order to work. 
Somehow during your silent period of individual research, Felix had managed to scoot as close to you as possible, thighs pressed together and you thought your heart might leap out of your chest. You can smell the hint of his floral cologne and the urge to bury your face into the crook of his neck is overwhelming. 
The two of you stay like that for a while before you close your textbook, stretching out your arms and flexing your hands from writing too much. 
“Shall we check out the restricted section? I think i’ve read all that I can in our textbook,” 
“Yeah, same! This potion is gonna be a pain in the ass,”
“Tell me about it. I’m not exactly looking forward to actually brewing it,”
“Can’t be that bad, I’ll get to do it with you,” And there it is, those damn butterflies making another appearance. You flush before clearing your throat, moving towards the restricted section, having already gotten permission from your teacher and the librarian. Felix can’t help but find the blush on your cheeks beautiful.
The two of you moved to start to browse the new section, looking for specifics on the ingredients needed for the more intense potion that you would have to brew. Your eyes skim through the shelves, noting some of the more interesting books that you might have to take a closer look at later, specifically a fun book on jinxes that you could probably use against Seungmin who was always trying to create new spells to tease you with. And on the rare occasion the two of you would team up to bully Hyunjin instead, especially when he was bragging about acing a test he didn’t even bother studying for. It would have to wait for now as you spotted an old potioneering book that looked promising on the top shelf. Reaching for it, you cursed at how short you were - even standing on your tiptoes didn’t help as you extended your fingers as much as you could. 
Suddenly you can feel a firm chest pressed to your back and a hand resting on your hip, another hand coming to grab the book you were trying to get. Your heart thumps against your ribcage at the close proximity of Felix, trying not to think about how his body feels as its pressed flush against your back or the grip on your hips as he steadies you. Slowly you turn around in his grasp, blinking up at him as he practically has you up against the bookcase, caging you in. Felix is also looking at you, an uncharacteristically serious expression on his face and the potion book in his hand.   It feels like you’ve been standing there forever, both of you just getting lost in each other's eyes and you wonder how many constellations you could draw against his freckles. The way you want to count just how many he has or if he had more in other places as well. Your eyes widen when the hand that was resting on your hip is suddenly moving up to cup your cheek and you wonder if he can see the way you flush under the dim lighting of the library. 
“Can I kiss you?” The deep timbre of his voice never fails to send shivers down your spine or heat into your stomach. You nod even though you really wanna say ‘hell yes’, you manage to hold back and not embarrass yourself, especially now when he’s asked something you’ve wanted to do since third year. 
His lips feel plush against your own, and you vaguely wonder if this was real. If Lee Felix was really here, kissing you sweet and softly like you were the most precious and delicate object in his hands. It’s a short simple kiss and you almost go to chase his lips when he pulls back, but you don’t have to worry as he doesn’t keep you waiting too long. He drops the book to be forgotten, as he brings his other hand to fully frame your face and kisses you square on the mouth. Your head tilts as he deepens the kiss, lips molding perfectly together. 
His tongue is swiping along the seam of your lips, asking for permission which you happily grant, tiers parting for him so he can lick at your own wet muscle. You can’t help the blissful sigh that falls from your lips and Felix all but eagerly swallows the noise, his pink tongue exploring every inch of you that he can. He has you fully pressed against the bookshelf now, your bodies slotted together, as if two puzzle pieces had been connected and you can start to feel something hard being pressed against your hips.
You can barely even focus on that with how dizzy the kiss is making you feel (though it’s possible it’s the lack of air as you’ve basically forgotten how to breathe). Teasingly you nip at his lower lip, sucking it into your mouth and he all but lets out a deep groan that makes you wetter than you’d like to admit. Eventually you both part for air, the two of you practically panting, lips slick with each other. You’re licking at your swollen lips, still able to taste him on your tongue as a thought pops into your head. You move to place your hands on Felix’s hips, maneuvering him so you’re the one who has him pressed against the bookshelf. He tilts his head and looks at you inquisitively, and you can’t help but coo at how cute he looks, especially with slightly reddened cheeks and completely kiss bitten lips. 
It’s only when you move down to your knees does he understand what you’re doing, him scrambling to try to pull you back up but you don’t budge. 
“A-ah! W-wait. What are you do-” He falters as he watches you glance up at him through your lashes, sweet innocent eyes looking up at him. Just the sight of you like this, looking so pretty on your knees for him makes his dick twitch in his pants, trying to swallow the lump in his throat. 
You place your hands on his thighs, running them up until your fingers are playing with the zipper of his trousers and he watches as your tongue darts out to dampen your already slick lips. “Is this ok?” You question simply, watching as Felix’s resolve crumbles, nodding his head. 
With permission you’re quick to undo his pants, only pulling them down to expose his already hard cock. His dick is somehow pretty, yet it doesn’t surprise you - everything about the boy was just so pretty. You lean in to press small teasing kisses to his length, keeping eye contact with the Hufflepuff. Felix doesn’t dare take his eyes off of you, so entranced by you. As much as you’d love to tease him, to build him up until he was begging for you - the two of you weren’t exactly in a private space, so you’d have to do it another time (god you hoped there would be another time). You part your lips to take the head into your mouth and it has Felix gasping already, his head falling back against the bookcase and his hands finding purchase in your hair. You hollow your cheeks as you suck softly, his natural musky scent was mixing with the floral cologne he had put on and it was all so heady, making you slightly lightheaded. 
He’s completely lost in the way your mouth feels against his hard length, warm and wet, and he’s scared to finish too fast like some virgin (even though that’s exactly what he was). Yet he can’t stop you, blunt nails grasping at your silky locks as you blow him, eliciting a moan from you that vibrates against his cock. His bottom lip is between his teeth in an attempt to stop any embarrassing noises from escaping. 
Except when you’ve got his whole cock down your throat, choking on it slightly has a deep moan slipping from his lips. He’s looking down at you through half-lidded eyes, pupils blown and hazy with lust, the sight of you with your mouth absolutely stuffed with his cock has him twitching in your mouth. You can taste his salty precum in the back of your throat, desperate to see what his release will taste like. 
“Ah…fuck. Princess you look so pretty like this…’m gonna cum,” He grunts softly and he can’t help the small buck of his hips into your mouth.
You definitely weren’t expecting the nickname, but you found yourself liking it MUCH more when it was coming from Felix. You open your mouth with your tongue lolling out when he tells you he’s close, blinking up at him and he gets the message. He releases your hair to bring his hand to his cock, stroking it once, twice - before he’s coming thick ropes into your mouth. You patiently wait for him to finish before you’re swallowing his load and you definitely don’t miss the way he groans just from watching you do that. A giggle falls from your lips as you come to stand up and he’s quick to kiss you again, moaning from tasting himself against your swollen tiers. 
He’s tucking himself back into his pants but not bothering to redo his pants before he’s once again moving you so he can press you against the bookshelf. It’s your turn to tilt your head in questioning as he moves to kneel down, hands running up your upper thighs until they’re disappearing under your skirt. He loops his fingers into your panties as he looks up at you.
“Can I?” He asks and his eyes are still dark with arousal, completely gone at this point. You nod far too eagerly and he chuckles deeply at how excited you look, slowly dragging your (damp) underwear down, having you step out of them. He slips them into his back pocket with a smirk. 
“You’re not getting these back,” 
Your mouth is wide with his bold words, wondering where the shy Felix has gone. You don’t really have much time to think more about it before he’s diving under your skirt and attaching his mouth to your wet cunt, a hand coming up to your mouth to muffle the sound that leaves your lips involuntarily. He laps at your core, moaning against you at your taste and the vibrations only aid in your pleasure. You can’t even see him with your skirt completely covering him but you can’t find it in you to even care, the way his tongue is flicking at your clit has you whimpering. His hands are gripping at your hips tightly and you hope that he leaves a mark, a memory of this moment you shared with him.
He has you all but clenching around nothing as his lips suck on your sensitive bud and your back is arching off the bookshelf and your head is thrown back. Soft moans spill from your lips and the sounds go straight to his dick, feeling himself hardening again in his pants. It doesn’t matter though as his focus is on you and he so badly wants you to cum against his tongue. Felix easily slips two fingers into your heat with how slick you are and you let out a soft sigh at the sensation. He’s a little clumsy with them but you’re too far gone to really care, feeling your thighs start to shake and that familiar pressure building in your lower stomach. 
“Lix- Lixie. I’m close,” You manage to mumble out, not knowing how much longer you are gonna last, especially with how his skillful tongue continues to work you to your high. With your words he’s once again latching onto your clit with his lips, sucking eagerly and his fingers pushing into you faster. He hums against your core and you’re gone, your rather loud moan muffled by your hand as you’re coming against his face. Felix doesn’t stop lapping at your pussy until you have to push him away, feeling sensitivity starting to build. 
When he comes back up he has to hold you up, your legs shaking slightly in the aftermath of your orgasm. He’s quick to have his lips on yours again and you can taste yourself against his tongue. He can tell he’s going to quickly become absolutely addicted to kissing you, your lips so soft against his own. Felix is pressing against you and you can feel that he’s hard again, so you reluctantly pull away to call out to him. 
“Felix,” You start, suddenly feeling shy even though you literally just had his dick in your mouth. 
“Yes love?” It really feels like he’s trying to kill you with these nicknames but you push through, letting your hips rock against his and he’s biting at his lip hard to stop himself from moaning. 
“I want you. So bad. . .need you inside me,” 
He seems a little hesitant but he can’t deny the way his dick twitches just at the thought of being buried inside you. How warm and tight you’d feel against his length.
“Are- Are you sure?” You nod. You’ve never been so sure about anything in your life.
“Yes. I-If it’s okay with you,” Still you stress this point, not wanting to pressure him but you’d be lying if you weren’t still absolutely soaked for the boy in front of you. 
“How can I say no to you?” He hums, pressing a soft kiss to your lips before slowly turning you around to have you bent forward slightly. You grab onto the bookshelf to ground yourself, biting at your bottom lip as you feel him grinding his clothed cock against your core. You’re about to open your mouth to beg him to stop teasing you but then you feel his tip pressing against your entrance and all thoughts are flying out of your head. Felix is gripping you tightly by the waist and slowly, almost agonizingly slowly he pushes in. You can feel every single inch until he’s completely sheathed in your warmth and the groan he lets out fills your belly with straight heat.
“F-fuck. So good, you feel so good princess,” He groans, his breath heavy as he shakily pulls out just enough so he can easily slide back in, setting a slightly uneven pace but it feels so good that you don’t even care. All you can think about is Felix, the way his hands feel against your skin, how sweet he sounds as he murmurs praises against your ear, the way his cock fills you so nicely - your head is so blissfully empty besides the Hufflepuff and you love it. He angles himself upwards, finding your sweet spot so easily and you clench around him the moment he hits it.
His hips rock languidly into you as he flips your skirt up so he can see the way his cock disappears into your soaked cunt. Felix is so entranced at the way your arousal clings to his length, you’re so wet you’re practically dripping down your thighs and it makes it so much easier to thrust into you. He knows he’s not gonna last very long so he grabs you to pull you flush against his chest, holding you to him as a hand wraps to your front, two fingers rubbing at your clit.
“Lix! Oh- Oh…’m close,” You mumble out, gasping as he holds you against his body, your hips trying to meet his thrusts. 
“Yeah? Gonna cum princess? Need you to cum all over my cock. Can you do that love?” He hums into your ear and his voice has you absolutely gone, Felix purposely making it just a little bit deeper. The way his cock is pressing against your gummy g-spot has you seeing stars. 
It doesn’t take long until you’re shuddering and coming, your walls spasming around Felix which has him reaching his own orgasm - spilling into you with his warm seed. Both of you are panting hard with you holding onto the bookshelf as if it was your last lifeline, practically the only thing keeping you up with how shaky your knees are. 
When he pulls out you whine a little, feeling his cum leaking down your thighs. He watches for a second, seeing his own release dripping from your pussy has a surge of pride filling his chest. After a second he pulls out his wand, muttering a quick spell that cleans you up, thankful that charms had been his best class. You need a bit longer to collect yourself, your head slightly fuzzy from two orgasms. 
Felix is busy looking you over, making sure your uniform is neat and smoothing your hair down. It’s all sweet and lowkey domestic, making your heart swell at the Hufflepuff in front of you. He smiles that smile you love and it baffles you how this boy could go from fucking you in the restricted section of the library to this innocent looking sunshine. 
He’s coming to cup your face again, leaving a few kisses against your cheeks before kissing your lips.
“So like…I know this is backwards but uh- do you like? Maybe wanna go on a date sometime? And be my girlfriend?”
2K notes · View notes
sunsetsimon · 5 months
Text
apology - simon ‘ghost’ riley x reader
thanks for requesting anon <3
nsfw ahead! mdni
also sorry i had to rush the end but i promise ill have something better out later!!! - sun
─────── ⋆⋅☼⋅⋆ ───────
the bed dips as simon lays next to you, finally coming to bed after avoiding you for the last 2 hours. he knew he fucked up earlier when he forgot the main thing you sent him to the store for. you'd been looking forward to trying out a new recipe you'd found online and knowing it'd take a while, you asked him to run to the store and grab some stock for the soup.
"in a bit, dove. 'm gonna finish this workout first," he said when you asked him. you nodded in agreeance, not realizing 'finishing his workout' meant taking an hour run around the neighborhood.
and of course you could've gone yourself, but simon always prefers you ask him to do things like that and you wanted to be patient. he gives you a quick call when he gets to the store, stopping there on his run, "stock, tomato paste, cream and rice. thas'it love?"
as he's on his way home he can't help but feel like he forgot something, it nags at him but he continues anyway. greeting him with a kiss at the door, you grab the bag from him and carry it to the kitchen so he can take off his shoes.
"ugh- simon! i told you to get stock!"
simon stares at you puzzled, but makes an 'oh shit' face when he realizes, "ah fuck! knew i forgot something, i'll go back now."
"it's fine, i'll just have something else," you sigh, leaving the items on the counter and walking away. he tries to stop you, saying he'll be quick but your mood has already been ruined, waving your hand in dismissal. you retreat to your room for a while, reading your book until simon decided to check on you.
"'m sorry about earlier. was being a dumbass and forgot."
"you could've just called me," you reply with a slight irritated tone in your voice, eyes not leaving the page of your book, though you weren't reading anymore.
"i know, i should've," he nods, pulling you to him on the bed, his arms wrapping around your body, his head on your stomach. "i can't make up for it now, but i am sorry."
you reread the page again, attempting to focus on the words. simon's fingers grab at the fabric of your sweatpants, pulling it down to reveal the skin of your stomach and hip. your legs twitch as his wet lips trail kisses along your tummy, his short blond hair tickling your skin. his touch is addicting, you instantly melt into him, a wanting ache growing in your pussy.
he works your pants off, throwing them to the side and pushing your legs open wide. leaning forward, he kisses the wet spot in the fabric, his nose bumping your clit. the muscles in your thighs ripple, flexing to keep them open while he teases you. sticking out his tongue, he flattens it against your clit, his hot breath only making you wetter.
dragging your panties down, he groans at the wet stickiness of your slick on the fabric. taking a deep breath as he holds them to his nose, "fuck, y' smell so good."
"simon..." you whine, feeling like you might die if he doesn't do something. anything.
"g'nna make you cum, dove. as an apology." simon leans down, his mouth latching onto your cunt. he moans against you, pulling you closer as if he could devour your entire pussy. his hips rut against the mattress, grinding down to ease some of the pressure.
he revels in the way you cry his name, desperately fucking yourself onto his tongue. two fingers slide into you easily, pushing deep and curling against that spongey spot that makes your eyes roll to the back of your head. you tug his hair, holding him close to you as he sucks your clit, flicking his tongue on it quickly.
“gonna cum-“ you barely make out, jaw clenching to hold back your moans.
simon only hums against you, raising onto his elbows, pulling your hips into the air. his tongue prods at your entrance, lapping at the sweet wetness thats dripping out of you. his fingers fuck you expertly, pulling you to orgasm quickly. you squeal as you cum, legs shaking and mind spinning as it washes over you. his dark eyes are on you, watching intensely as you writhe in his arms, whining ‘okay-okay’ until he finally stops.
“how was that?” he asks, finally pulling away with a smirk on his scarred lips. his chin glistens, your sweet wetness all over the bottom half of his face. of course he already knows the answer, he just wants to embarrass you.
“oh shut up and come here, simon.”
fuck he’s good at apologies.
1K notes · View notes
cherry-leclerc · 19 days
Text
so long, london ☆ ln4
genre: angst, toxic relationship traits, fluff, humor, established relationship, one-sided, smut
word count: 7.3k
You've never been read so easily by someone until he entered your world. All is good, all is true love, but realistically, that all comes crumbling down. Leaving you with a series of doubts. The kind you ignore because why not?
nsfw warning under the cut!
18+...penetrative sex, m!receiving, f!receiving
inspired by this and this !
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To be completely fair, the accent wasn’t all that familiar to you. It’s odd, then alluring, then it makes you curl a brow. Australian? British? Irish—no, that’s too far off, ridiculous, really. 
It’s the end of spring, which means it’s also the start of summer, which also means your job is in full force. Which is good if you’re still considering transferring to London to study abroad. You were, thank you very much, which is why you needed a shit load of money. 
Being a waitress isn’t all that bad; the view was breathtaking. Laguna Beach has always been and always will be. It’s impossible to take away its charm. 
The diner is small, yet crowded, so it’s hard to get through with a stack of breakfast plates atop one another. A piece of bacon slips past you as you let out a curse, mentally noting to clean it up on your way back. “An order of pancakes, french toast, two hashbrowns, bacon, four freshly squeezed orange juice—shit. I forgot, it was grapefruit, wasn’t it?”
Setting down the plates as carefully as you can with their assistance, you let out a sigh. “I’ll be right back—”
“It’s fine, mate. Orange juice is just as good.” His voice is soft and rough, all at once. 
You halt, fixing your apron, awkwardly. “No, it was my mistake, I’ll fix it—”
Mmm, delicious, his friends chime in as they take a sip from the fresh beverage. The blue eyed boy signals with his dark brows. “Told you. Don’t worry about it.”
“Cool,” you mumble. “Enjoy. Oh, and let me know if you need anything.”
They don’t, which is quite upsetting since you were slightly curious to find out if you were right. Smoking a joint, you hear a loud cough. The mysterious brunette waves. “Tough shift?”
“Of course not, I love it.”
He nods. “I’m sure you do, but I’m also sure that’s not the complete truth.” He sits. “You’re on your break, I presume, which means you're not on the clock, which means I’m no longer a customer, but rather just a stranger. A stranger whom you will most likely never see again, so…”
A puff expands through the blue sky and yellow sun. You squint. “I’m worn out. Down. Worn down? Both.”
“You’re good at hiding it.”
A chuckle. “But you were able to notice which obviously means I’m not much of an actress.”
He motions over to the cigarette. You hesitantly hand it over to him as he sucks sharply and releases. Bemused, you make a face. “I was because I go through the same thing, oftentimes. More like all the time.” Another hit. “I understand.”
“I’m not sure whether I should feel seen or scared…” Humor laces your soft voice as you quirk a brow. He laughs.
“Seen, definitely.” A beat. “I’m Lando. Foreign visitor.”
Shaking his hand, you ease up, smiling, gently. “Nice to meet you, Lando—foreign visitor.” A pause. “Resident.”
“Really, now?” He plays along, teasing. You can hear it. 
“Lucky, I know. Been here my entire life. Can’t complain.”
“I bet.”
“Yourself?”
Lando winces. “England. Bristol, specifically. Ever been?” Nope. A toothy grin. “Don’t—rains all day long, gloomy all year. It’s depressing, but…” He relaxes. “It’s home.”
Staring off into the waves, you cover your face from the strong breeze. Salt air splits your tongue in half as you wipe your mouth. “Your accent. It’s captivating. As soon as I heard it, I grew jealous.”
The Brit frowns. “Your accent is much better. Clean,” he adds and you let out a snort. Accent—what accent? He rolls his blue eyes. “That one. You might not consider it one, but it is. Very…pretty.” A rosy tint flourishes onto his cheeks. Summer heat, summer breeze, perhaps. 
Retreating the roll from his hand, you stomp on it, letting the light die. “Thank you, Lando from England. You made my day.”
-
That’s the end, really. Just a nice encounter that still doesn’t make much sense, but you’re glad it happened. Normally, after a tiring shift, you borrow Benny’s surfboard and rush towards the killer waves. The soothing water releases a lot of the built up tension that lies between your shoulder blades. 
Today isn’t much different. After getting yelled at for— “getting the fucking order wrong, bitch” —and— “my toddler just threw up, yes, oh, nevermind, had a…teensy accident” — you don’t second guess it. As soon as your skin connects to the warm temperature, you sigh in sweet relief. 
“I need to get out, I need to get out, I need to—”
“You just got here, though. Plus, the water feels nice, don’t you think?”
Startled, you sit up on your board, rocking back and forth. With what looks to be a painful tan, Lando smiles, sheepishly. “Hello…again.”
“Are…” You look around, but the ocean is practically empty. “A-are you stalking me?”
His smile drops. “W-wh—no! Of course not! I saw you from afar, and I just thought…” He grimaces. “I should go.” Except he can’t. Every chance he tries to tread away, the waves only push him back. It’s comedic. “One sec…crap. One more—shit. Okay, two, two sec—”
“Ah, forget it, stay. Land of the free, no?” Rubbing your nose, you pull his paddle closer. “What brought you out here?”
“Heard it was a good day to attempt to surf. Tell you what—it’s not.”
A giggle escapes, then lessens. You furrow your brows. “Hold on a minute; are you teaching yourself? As in, no instructor? Just you? Alone? Solo?”
“Yeah, what about it?” he grumbles. “I can do it.”
You’re wheezing at this point, stomach clenching. “That’s nearly impossible! I’m mean, sort of, sort of not.” When his eyes don’t switch from being offended to getting the joke, you quickly snap your lips shut. “Can I teach you? It’s not that hard.”
He gapes, curls grow more and more. They’re cute, the way they bounce when he shakes his head. “And if it’s so easy then why can’t I just do it myself?”
“How long have you been trying?”
He burns up. “That’s not the point.”
“No, that’s exactly my point. You need a mentor, and lucky for you, I’m a surf instructor on the weekends. Come on.”
The twenty-four year old is not sure he even wants to be here, suffering from an overdose of embarrassment. Every single attempt ends up with him splashing straight into the clear water. He groans for the millionth time, clutching into his board. “I think I’m done for the day.”
You don’t fight him on it. His bruised nose makes you feel bad, and his chipped lip makes you want to giggle, so yeah, that’s enough. He can taste the salt water as he smacks his lips, trying to get rid of it. You click your tongue. “That doesn’t really do anything. Not until you bathe and brush your teeth. Or rinse. Either or.” 
He invites you to the mansion he’s rented for him and his friends, declaring that there would be endless amounts of alcohol, but when you decline, he rubs his jaw and grimaces. “Yeah, I’m not in the mood, either. Craving tacos?”
So, that’s what you two do; converse over an amazing meal. You can already note his skin shedding, but for some reason, it’s endearing. You even spot a couple of moles. Chewing rapidly to try and forget about the spice, he pants. “London, eh?”
“England,” you correct. He deadpans you.
“That’s basically the same thing. It’s along the same lines. Just like Monaco and Paris.”
You shrug. “London—yes.”
Sniffling, he reaches for his can of Coke. Gasping left and right, he winks to the best of his ability. “You’re a smart girl…I think. And you’ll get in…I think.”
“Gee, thanks, I think.”
He laughs. “I hope you get in. I really do, Laguna Resident.” You roll your eyes. “You won’t miss all of this, though?” The warmth, the people, everything. A bittersweet feeling runs through your veins, momentarily, before you wave him off.
“Nothing is holding me back, forcing me to stay. I’ll be just fine.”
Finally, he calms down, occasionally sneezing. The way he excuses himself makes him look very polished. Lando licks his lips clean, drumming his long fingers against his lap. Later you would find out this would be his nervous tick. A teller. A good one, at most. 
“Call me? When you get there, I mean—if you want to, of course. No pressure.”
And while you may not have a reason to be a part of SoCal anymore, something else seemed to tug you to the other side of the world. “Might have to take your word for it.”
“Good.”
You grin, looking down onto your lap. Later he’d know this was your way of avoiding his stare. Butterflies, for the meantime. “Good.”
-
“No, no, no! You were supposed to—forget it, nevermind. Did you at least—” The stream flatlines and Lando is left speechless, headset drooping down, inch by inch. The way his eyes furiously twitch is enough for you to peck his cheek. 
“It’s late anyways. Come on, let's go to bed.”
There’s utter nonsense, and mumbo-jumbo that he spills as he reluctantly follows. If Max had done this, and if Max had done that. Pouting, you cradle his face, forcing him to look at you. “You’re telling me you wish you would still rather be playing than spend time with me?” You gently slap his face and he smiles, sheepishly. “I’m hurt.”
“No, no, you’re right. Of course I want to spend time with you.” When you peck his nose, he sighs. You can faintly smell the cheap beer, courtesy of said Max, so you let out a screech, creating a distance. 
“Never mind. I don’t want to spend time with you, you reek.” His smile drops and you pinch the tip of your nose. “Reek, I tell you. Go brush your teeth!”
The McLaren driver snarls, then makes his way over to your shared bathroom. “I remember when you used to be fun. Seems like a decade ago.”
“And make sure to floss!”
-
If you’re able to remember, you could openly admit that you did make that call. Actually, text. You got cold feet and sent a text last minute. You met up at the pub just around your dorm, the one that is only busy during the weekends, so is practically empty during the week. Hence, Wednesday night.
Wow. Your tan is gone, is the first thing he says when he sees you. It’s true. Being away from the California sun has completely changed you. A bit, but it did. Giggling, you accept his hug, finding warmth. London weather. “How was the move? I want to hear all about it.”
Oh, the move was as good as it could get. The airport lost two of my luggages, but it’s fine, I didn’t really need many dresses, because yes, you were right, it’s always gloomy. I miss Benny like a baby, but we always keep in touch—I’m actually going to visit him for his birthday. Which is in January? Yes…yes! January third. 
“What about you? Work?”
First of all, can’t really consider it work when it’s fucking fun. Second of all, it’s quite swell. I’ve got a new teammate, which sort of sucks, but he’s nice. The car is a bit wonky, but I��m sure that’ll change throughout the course of the year. Guess we’ll just have to wait and see. 
Conversations switched from having them on a steady stool in the pub, to having them in the comfort of his flat. Plus, you two were more open and honest with one another. 
Benny, yeah, it’s pancreatic cancer, and no, I’m not okay. 
The team is fucking shit. My arm still hurts from last week's crash, but I’ll be fine. Please, don’t you worry, love. 
Lando is an absolute angel. He pays for your tickets back home, along with Benny’s treatment. He declines the help at first, but as soon as he meets your smiley boyfriend, he accepts. I’ll pay you back. Once I’m better. Lando laughs with a muppet dive. Of course—of course, Ben.
You take care of him and his injuries. Follow doctors orders. Ice at least twice a day. Don’t forget to take your pain meds. No, for the love of God, they’re not candy, sweetheart.
It’s the best and the worst. And it’s all yours.
-
He’s very much obsessed with Mila as soon as she’s born. He congratulates his brother and his sister-in-law once, and off he goes, straight to the newborn. It makes you fall in love even more, which you didn’t know was possible, but here you were. 
“I say give it a year or two.”
“More like five. Come on, honey, be realistic.”
“I am! Can’t you tell he adores her?” Oliver scoffs. “He’s my brother. I would know.” His wife rolls her eyes, then moves on to snap a few pictures of Lando and Mila, then a thousand videos. 
“Crap. I want one,” he mentions on the drive back home. He gently rubs his thumb over your leg; you shudder. “You saw me, you were a witness, I was a good enough babysitter!”
“Babysitter? You’d be a dad, not a babysitter,” you retort, though your wobbly grin is a dead giveaway. A long finger pokes at your ribs as you laugh, scooting as far enough away as the McLaren allows you to get. “One day. Just not now.”
And he knows that’s true. He’s busy with racing, you’re busy with school; it's irresponsible. Your confirmation was sweet though—it was enough. The Brit hums, continuing the drive with a bright smile. 
“One day, then.”
-
Baby talk was a fun thing to dream about. To think, daydream. Marriage talk? Now that’s serious. 
It started on a Sunday morning; a non-race week. He’s finally back home and you're ecstatic. He was too, but that slowly goes out the window when you rush him to the room. I like where this is going, he starts when you drag him along. You bite back a smile, waiting for his noise. “What the shit?” he yelps, pulling on his curls. Spinning to face you, your boyfriend groans. “Where’s all my gaming—sweetheart,” he softened his voice, softened his eyes. “Sweetheart…”
“It’s gone! Bye-bye, adios!” You twirl around the empty room. “You don’t need it, Lando. It was rotting your brain.”
The color from his vibrant face fades, leaving him to let out a delirious laugh. “No, no, it wasn’t. Wh-why would you do that?” He doubles over. “I’m going to be sick.”
After a while of letting him drown in a puddle of self-pity, you snicker. Blue eyes look up at you; furrowed thick brows. What? “They’re in the guest room. I just needed us to paint the walls.” Releasing a scream, Lando plunges for you, picking you up and spinning you around until you flop against his arms. 
“Asshole!” you yell, smacking his arm. After a series of instructions, you both fall into a pattern. He focuses on the left side of the room and you focus on the left and the right. It just makes sense.
“Stick to your side,” he mumbles, pushing you away. You burn a laser to the back of his head. “I can feel you killing me—stop it.”
“Then quit drawing, you’re ruining it!” There’s a cat, a dog, a house, his racing car, you—you presume— and Mila for good measure, but he serves her no justice as she appears to be more of a blob. Going over it with a thick layer of paint, he curses to himself. As soon as he picks up the thin brush once again, you immediately set your foot down. “No, Lando, think before you commit.”
But he must not hear you—or ignores you—because suddenly he’s drawing something unrecognizable. You almost laugh when you guess it must be a donut, but when he draws the familiar rock, you come to a halt. “Stellar, no?”
“Hardly. Looks like more of a neck guard—next!”
But he pushes you away as soon as you reach over to cover it up. “I’m being serious. I’m mean, not now, but someday. Are you…” His voice drops, slowly, and he drums his fingers onto his thigh. Your lips turn upward. “...open to it? Getting married?”
“Well,” you start and his breath hitches, nervously tapping, awaiting for your response. Pressing your lips against his, you breathe out, and he groans. “I love you, Lando. I’m more than open to it.”
He sighs in relief, kissing you harder this time, with more emotion. “Good.” A beat. “Thank you.”
-
Slowly, but surely, you’re celebrating your three year anniversary—in Japan, a race week—but still. Yuki specifically gives you two a list of places to visit, so it makes everything a thousand percent easier. Fifth, he grunts, throwing his helmet onto the tiny bed in his motorhome. Screw it, I’m blowing my brains out.
“Hey now, quit talking like that.” A kiss. “I don’t care if you’re upset, I happen to be super duper proud.”
“It’s Super Trouper,” Oscar yells from the other side of the wall. “Don’t disrespect ABBA like that.
“Yeah,” Lando hums, pulling you in. “Don’t.”
“I’ll pull the trigger,” you warn. 
He gasps, theatrically. “You wouldn’t dare…”
“Try me.” 
“I already have—sweet.” His dirty implications makes you heat up and the Australian groans as he turns up his music. Lando snickers, changing quickly. “Happy Anniversary. It’s not everyday, you know?”
“I know,” you cheer, playing with your promise ring. You beam up at the bubbly Brit. “I just wish we were home. Celebrating in the comfort of our own place.”
He doesn’t mention it, but you considering London your home—despite not growing up there—makes him crush on you harder than ever before; it's sickening. Clapping loudly, he stands up, reaching for your hand. “Then let's go back home. What’s keeping us here?”
“Yuki,” you grunt, taking his open hand. “We’d be breaking his heart, Lan. We need to do these twenty-one things.”
“Ah, he’ll understand.” A pause. “If he doesn’t then we’ll just buy his next meal to make up for it.”
Cackling, you peck his face, over and over until he pushes you away in a jokeful manner. “This is why I love you, Lando Norris!”
And he’s content, admiring the way you pack happily. He’s never seen someone so giddy to spend fourteen hours on a plane just to curl into the comfort of their bed. He’s just never seen or met anyone like you. 
It was perfect.
-
As soon as he picks up his own digital camera, he’s in love. Part of you would be jealous, definitely, if it weren’t for him stopping to take a thousand pictures of you. One in the McLaren garage, next to his car. One where you balance yourself on a swing, eventually falling straight onto your face. One of your newly bruised nose, due to the fall. One where you’re sleeping, drooling like a—
“Delete that, I don’t even want to see it!”
Shaking his head full of curls, he runs away. “No! I happen to love it!”
“Lando!”
“You look adorable.”
“Fuck you, I’m leaving. Spend the night alone, loser.”
You don’t end up keeping your word. You get your revenge, eventually, when you pie him in his sleep. He nearly chokes, but it’s all in good fun, according to you. 
But neither of you would have it any other way. You just happen to be his muse. 
-
His greediness starts to show overnight, nearly. It catches you off guard, leaving you like a lost dog. The worst part is that it’s not directed directly at you, per se, but it felt like it. Most of the time, you’d deal with this by talking to him until he calms down, by making him a cup chamomile tea, because—
“It doesn’t help!” He paces the small room, throwing his gloves harshly against the wall. 
“Studies prove—”
“Studies my ass.” An angry huff. “I just need to be alone. For a while.”
And it also catches you off guard how you don’t fight him back on it. Instead, you’re glad, fleeing out the door, straight to God knows where. Strolling, you twist and turn the thin band. 
Where are you going?
“You said you wanted to be…” Except it’s not Lando. George quirks a dark brow. You gulp, forcing a smile. “I’m sorry. I thought you were…” A painful pause. “I thought you were Lando.”
“Must be the accent.” He laughs. “Don’t worry about it. Carmen actually made me chase you down. Said she wants your opinion with something about the wedding. You know her—perfectionist.”
“Oh. Yes. Of course.” Throwing your hair over your shoulder, you beam brighter this time, though it doesn’t quite meet your eyes. “I have plenty of time.”
He’s rude when he finds you. Well, not really, but even your friends notice it. I’m telling him to wear a simple black and white suit. A bow or a tie, he can decide, but he’s insisting on wearing white and I’m like hello? You giggle, orbs moving to find George with a playful glare. 
“Why can you be the only one wearing white? It’s this some kind of rule or?”
“No, but it’s weird!” Carmen turns to face you, desperate eyes begging for backup. “Come on! Tell him it’s weird.”
Plump lips flicker upward. “I don’t know, George, it is a b—”
“Awful. You’re going to steal all the attention away from Caren and you’re going to look horrible. Just go with a traditional suit.”
The Mercedes driver doesn’t pay any attention to what was just said to him, but you and Carmen do, and that’s probably worse. You can tell she’s bothered by your boyfriend's unwanted opinion and for him going after her fiancé, so you briskly stand up. “Sweetheart, are you, um…ready to go?”
The Brit nods, fixing his bag that lays over his shoulder. “That’s why I’m here, no? Could have let me know you were leaving, too.” There’s tension in his voice; annoyance. “Also, I forgot your bag. I’ll wait for you here.”
His implication makes you queasy. You blink hastily. “Of course.” Turning to the older couple, you smile politely. “Um…text me, yeah? Let me know what you two decide on.”
Once you rush off, Carmen narrows her usually kind eyes, hard. George is quick, placing a steady hand onto her lap, and clears his throat. “You know, just because you didn’t place a podium for once doesn’t mean you get to act like a jerk. Seriously.”
Lando chooses to ignore his comment, bidding goodbye, and strolls over to find you, flustered. “Now I’m ready,” you confirm with a weak smile. The Brit laces his fingers through yours and brings it up to his mouth, pressing a warm kiss. 
“You know I love you, right?”
“I do. I do know.”
-
He’s trying to be more gentle, you can tell. With his words, with his actions. It reminds you why you chose him. He had apologized after a quiet night, settling with what he had done. How he had treated you and his friends. George is quick to accept his apology, and you were too.
“I didn’t mean it,” he groans quietly, chest pressed against yours as you ride him. “I s-shouldn’t have—fuck.” The way you clench around him tightly makes his head spin. A whine escapes your swollen lips as you nod, fast, then slow, then staggered. “I’m sorry. I’m so fucking sorry.”
“It’s okay,” you pant, finally opening your eyes to find him already looking up at you. He squeezes your hips harder, keeping you firm. “You were upset, that’s all. I get it.”
She gets it, he remembers thinking, considering himself lucky for having a girlfriend who understands. His highs. His lows. His wins. He loses. This—this is why you were the one. 
But once again, his lack of display is what reluctantly pushes you away.
Then back in.
-
It’s been three months of him not even picking up his camera. Maybe he’s just too lazy to develop his pictures, so you do it for him. There’s really no excuse. That’s what you say with light humor when you push it towards his chest, but he only cocks his head to the side. “I never asked for you to do that.”
Your stomach churns. You lick your chapped lips. “You don’t need to. I just…did it. Thought it might help get you out of your slump.”
This pushes something in him as he narrows his brows like a set of sharp knives. “Slump?” A scoff. “What? Because I haven’t been able to get a win?”
“What?” You’re dazed. “No.” You’re confused. “No, why would you say that?” 
“I don’t know—why would you?”
“I mean it because you’ve been down, that’s it. Not because…” When his eyes don’t change, and your heart continues to pound, you flip him a smile. “You’re right. My choice of words weren’t the best. I’m sorry.”
The blue eyed boy clicks his tongue to the roof of his mouth once, then sets the camera to his side. “Whatever, it’s fine, I guess.” And suddenly he’s making his way to his gaming room, leaving you with wide eyes and a bruised heart. 
“Wait!” Carefully, you pick up the small camera, extending it out towards him. “Wh-what do you want me to do? Should I pack it into your suitcase? Or maybe I could—”
“Pack it, yes, but into a box and put it in the attic.” He continues his march. “I lost interest a long time ago, either way.”
You’re not dazed. You’re not confused. 
You’re broken hearted.
-
You would think that you would have learned by now. He loves you, damn it. He’s just having a tough time proving it, but it’s fine, stuff like this happens all the time.
“Hello, darling,” Carmen greets, pulling you away from your trance. The camera  pans over to Lance, Carlos, and Lando. She gingerly takes the spot next to you. “Feeling alright? Lost a bit of weight and color.” Her concern can’t be hidden behind even the tallest mountain. 
Been working out. London is gloomy all day long. Haven’t gotten proper Vitamin D. Looking down onto your lap, you twirl your fingers. Over and under, over and under, over and un—
Her hands feel warm against yours and you can’t help but flinch, instinctively needing to pull away, but she holds on tighter. Not even your boyfriend's hands have felt as warm as hers; not in a very long time. “You can talk to me. Anytime.” Eyes remain downward, watering, so, like most nights before bed, you blink them away. Hard, fast, and cruel. 
“Have you chosen the song you want to be for your guys’ first dance?”
She remains still for a second, focuses directly into your soul and you blink faster before she has a chance to decode you. She always did. “We have. My Funny Valentine. Hear this, Daniel wants to sing it. With a band and the whole thing. Nightmare.”
And you’re glad for having her stories to distract you from your feelings, because silly is what they are. Childish. False. It’s only until the end of the race where you two realize you hadn’t been paying attention. As soon as George walks in through those doors, he jumps up and down. “Hey. Top five!”
“That’s my boy!”
You feel like a creep watching them kiss with sweet emotion you can’t help but miss and crave. Your eyes flicker over to the flat screen T.V. and you’re shooting up from your seat. “Shit! I have to go!” 
He’s in the middle of a speech of some sort when you rush in gasping for air. Sheepishly, you wave, then scoot closer to Zak who gives you a quick side hug. Everyone claps and then he’s making his way to—
Not you. 
First it’s Zak, then he squeezes by. Then it’s his entire team. Then it’s Oscar. Then it’s Carlos, which is the last straw because he’s not even supposed to be here. “Mind if I squeeze in?” you squeak. The Spaniard shakes his head.
“Be my guest. I should leave anyway.” “Are you sure?” Lando quips. “Why don’t you stay?”
Brown pity eyes dance over to where you look down, then settle with a wobbly smile. “I, um…I actually have a few emails to respond to. Stay, Carlos.” It’s pathetic and embarrassing how he’s the only one who convinces you to stick around. Not even your own boyfriend. Though his hand remains by your side, it feels all for show, which it is because as soon as a few fans take a couple of pictures of you two, he finally retreats his arm.
Once the Ferrari driver finally jogs away, Lando turns to face you. “Where were you?”
“I was watching the race.” Your heart beats faster.
“Liar. Your lips just did the thing.” A halt. “What thing?”
“There! There it is again! You didn’t watch it, did you?”
Taking his palms into your own, you kiss them, feverishly. “I was, but then Carmen came over, and we started to talk, and then one thing led to another and…” Blue eyes stare down, empty. You grimace. “I’m so sorry, Lando. You got second place and I wasn’t there to celebrate. I’m so sorry.”
And perhaps he feels he already made you suffer enough with his ignorance, or maybe he was still high off his accomplishment, but it surprises you when he leans down to peck your forehead. “Just don’t let it happen again, yeah?”
You let out a breath of relief. “Pinky swear.”
He laughs, ruffling your hair. “Ah, see, I don’t believe in pinky promises.”
“Take my word for it then.”
He winks. “Good enough.”
-
I can’t believe we haven’t had a sunny day in weeks! Flipping over to face him, you pout. Weeks! That’s bonkers.
The Brit hums against his blankets, against you. It’s officially been a year since you two have been dating and it honestly felt surreal. Especially in moments like these. The kind where he was just yours. 
I tried to warn you.
You groan, pressing your cheek against his firm chest. His heartbeat is slow and steady, indicating he’s half asleep, indicating you were too awake. Indicating you should probably go to sleep, too. 
Guess I’ll just have to learn to live with it. 
Guess so.
You know…I sort of love it.
You say so because you haven’t lived here your whole life.
I could easily, you want to confess. If it’s with you, then yes, I can. But it’s too soon and you don’t want to scare him off. Not when things were a dream. Cloudy, sunny, rainy, sunshine—I don’t care. I have a good enough reason to stay. 
He vibrates due to his chuckle and you giggle due to his chuckle. Look at you being all cute.
Not trying to be cute, just speaking my truth. 
In one motion, he flips over you, hovering. You love it? Like truly? 
I love it. I truly love it.
Make me believe it.
Are my words not enough?
He grins, eyes crinkling. I’m more of a pinky promise type of guy.
You lift your small finger and he’s fast to wrap his own around it. Pinky swear. I love you and London.
And it was true. It was true for a while.
-
It all came crashing down on you, really. It was alarming, yet you had expected it. It was lonely, but survivable. It came in phases. You first noticed the doubt a bit after your third year anniversary, but no, he loves me. I know he does. 
But you were good at pushing it all away; far, far, and further. Until you couldn't think about it anymore, even if you tried. His acts were a suck punch, though. Everytime you started to heal and stand up, he only sent a new one. A stronger one. But, hey, no—he loves me. He only says it every night.
Like last Monday night. When he fucked you in his hotel room.
Or last Thursday. When he went down on you under the table.
Or Friday. When you sucked his cock in the shower.
All right before bed.
God, I fucking love you so much. Hot cum shoots down your throat and he groans like a madman. Love you so, so much. You can’t even begin to imagine. 
So, when your friends ask and check up on you, that's what you say. Yes, he reminds me everyday. He means it. Don’t worry, we’re doing better than ever.
The second comes in like a slap to the face. He had just done what you consider a low blow, but no—he’ll make up for it. He always does.
“Bullshit.” You blink your hot tears away. Carmen never—ever—curses. She’s too classy for any of that, so it’s almost funny to hear it now. But it’s not, not really. She sighs, rubbing her temples. You and your problems were stressing her out, God, how could you be so selfish?
“Forget I said anything. I’m being a fucking crybaby—”
“No. You’re not.” It seems like she’s choosing her choice of words, delicately. “You have every right to be upset. Every. Single. Right.”
And for the first time in a while, you feel completely seen. Heard. Understood. And that was a lot, but it must have been what you needed, because suddenly, you were spilling the ugly truth. The reason why you didn’t attend the last race. Or the one before that one. 
The reason why she and George found you clutching onto your chest that night in Vegas. Forgot my keys, you giggled. You two have fun! Don’t worry about me. 
Carmen is older, wiser, and so fucking mature. You love it. But you hate it because now that you sit here with more of an open mind and less defense, you blink like a lost kid at the grocery store. “You love him.”
A whimper. “I adore him.”
“A lot?”
“Infinitely.”
“But?”
Another whimper, louder this time, more wet. “He makes me sad sometimes. Is that normal?” “It is—” And it’s the delusion that always makes you stay. You’re quick to swallow it down, eager and fast. It’s all you need to hear. Carmen shakes her head. “But not to this extent. You get sad over them forgetting your favorite drink order, or when they forget to pack your heels.” An unwanted pause. The kind that gives you the room to overthink. “Not because they locked you out. Or because they forgot your anniversary.”
And she won’t admit—not when you were already so broken—but Lando hadn’t forgotten. 
She likes wine, fuck, she’s obsessed with that sparkly shit. Wine testing! We could go wine tasting and I could do it there. He twidles with the ring box. Is that good?
George raises a playful brow before releasing a laugh. It sounds great. As long as you have a nice place to take Instagram pictures, then you’re set to go. Chicks love that. Isn’t that right, love?
But she pinches her lips, forcing a smile to the younger Brit. Lando lets out a shaky breath. It’s about to be our four year anniversary—it’ll be perfect. I’ll make sure.
So, yes, she knows he loves you. But that still doesn’t make the way he treats you right. What kind of love was that? Sobbing loudly, you push your hair back. “But you don’t get it! When he’s good…” Her eyes soften and yours grows more glassy. “...he’s so good.”
“Is it worth the pain, though?”
-
The third one is the breaking point you had been avoiding for so long. The day started out gray, either way, and not just because of the dark London weather. Dragging your feet to the end of the bed, you tremble. You got the call at four a.m. and those are never good, so why were you shocked to hear from Benny’s son?
“Oh, baby…” He pulls you atop his lap, kissing your temple. “I know how much he meant to you.”
“I still owe him a surfboard. The expensive kind, too.” He quirks a confused brow, but you continue staring off into space. “They stole the last one. The one he always lent to me. His mom had gifted it to him.”
“When did this happen?” he questions, trying to keep you talking because that sounds like a good idea. To get your mind off things. 
You hum. “Last January; his birthday weekend.”
“Birthday weekend? I don’t recall—” “You weren’t there.” He doesn’t have to remember to know that’s true. It's become a habit of his nowadays and now he’s feeling guilty. Another hum, this time sadder than the prior. “He was going to teach you how to grill steak, just the way I like it.”
His stomach churns. “And how do you like it?” A beat. “I don’t remember. Ask Benny.” Then you’re crying like a newborn.Worse, actually. But he holds you through it all. So maybe this was do-able. He was nice, after all. You could stick with him forever and you’d be grateful. After what seems like a decade, you finally calm down, though your nose keeps runny. “The funeral is later this week. Are we going?” You were, with no fucking doubt, but you just wanted him to say it. There— on the tip of his tongue. You can spot it and he could taste it.
“Sweetheart…you know I have a race.” You didn’t expect him to drop everything and venture off with you, but this cut deep. Still, you understood. Plus, the proposal was ditched the moment you got the eerie call. So, yes, everything was unbalanced, but it wasn’t your guys’ fault. It was just a twist of fate. Nothing you couldn’t handle; you’ve dealt with worse.
“Right. I can go by myself.” He feels bad—you know he does—but anything, really? “You can write a letter, maybe? Just a couple of words for his family. I know it’ll mean a lot.”
He chuckles. And you should have known at that very moment because it wasn’t one you’ve heard before. “Why would I? I barely even knew the guy.”
“Excuse me?” 
The Brit continues tracing shapes onto your thigh. “I’m just saying! It sounds a bit weird coming from someone who spoke to him once. Twice at best.”
And you’re no longer dazed, no longer confused, no longer heartbroken. 
You’re just angry.
Pushing yourself off him, you glare coldly. “Barely even knew…the guy? We Skyped with him over dinner! You paid his bills! You fucking attended his sons wedding! How could you be so…fucked.”
“Sure… He was a sweet lad, but do you really think they want to hear from me?”
“Maybe not, maybe they don’t give a flying fuck, but I do. Remind me why I loved you!”
He’s up now. His heart quickens, pierces through his skin. “Loved?”
You sigh, clutching your chest. “Love. I said love.”
A huff. “No, you definitely spoke in past tense—do you not love me anymore?”
“Lando…” “No. Just be upfront with me, I can handle it. Tell me now so I don’t waste my time any longer.”
Every uncertainty you ever had, every word of advice Carmen has given you comes crashing down. She was right. He’s keeping you around for good fun. For his benefit. “Your time? What about mine? You’re the one who’s been blocking me out these past couple months!” “That’s not true—”
“Fuck, you’re right—this past year. God Lando! Haven’t you noticed how good I am at apologizing now? My zombie appearance? You left me out in the hallway! All because of what? Because I didn’t tell you I was going out with the girls?” A sour laugh. “Wake up—it’s 2024. Since when are you a shitty masochist?”
His jaw clenched. “I was worried about you! It was fucking Vegas, what was I supposed to do? And for the love of God, this again. I. Didn’t. Hear. You. Knock.”
A peach seed forms onto your chin. Skin is flushed and tears stream down your face. But he’s fine. He’s tall and firm Hard headed. Without an ounce of regret. And you want to do it. You want to make him feel what you’ve felt.
“I got my degree…”
“Woo-fucking-hoo, we’re not talking about that right now.”
“I lived a few good years, filled with pure happiness.”
He pauses. 
“But I see it now. Past all the gray clouds, I see it.” He can feel it coming and he’s desperate for you not to say it aloud, but you shrug it, face downward. “Nothing is holding me back to stay.”
His tone washes away like the Laguna waves as he gets closer to you, cradling your face. “Yes. Yes you do. You have me…”
“Lando, quit lying—I haven’t for a while now. I was just a trophy you didn’t want. One you got bored of.”
“That’s not—” “True?” A beat. “It is. And you know what also is? I don’t love you anymore.” The light in his eyes gave out, pitch black. He feels as if he’s going into cardiac arrest and you…you look at ease. Peaceful. Free. With a soft smile, you push his hands down. “I don’t think you love me anymore, either.”
“Don’t say that,” he pleads. “Please, don’t say that. Of course I love you.” Rushing over to his nightstand, he pulls out a box you only ever dreamt of. “You want proof—here! Take it! It’s yours anyways.”
“Where was this a year ago?” Opening the velvet box, you’re left with an inaudible gasp because of course it was gorgeous. And he feels a gist of hope when you place it onto your ring finger, but he slowly pales when it doesn’t fit.
“No. No. That’s your size. I know it is.” He takes it from you, analyzing it in an accusing manner. “I swear it was, I pinky…” The heater kicks on. “I swear.”
“It’s alright. This is the right ring…just not for me.” It shouldn’t affect you to see his cheeks grow splotchy, to hear his voice tremble like a kid who just skinned his knee against the pavement. But he was once your other half, so it does. 
“I don’t want you to go…”
“I don’t either. I loved being here.”
“Then stay.” You purse your lips, then scrunch your nose. “It doesn’t love me, though. And I can’t go unwanted.”
If we start saving enough money then we could buy the house—you know—the one close enough to drive to your parents? Sweet, no?
Won’t they hear us fuck? 
Ew, gross. No. I’d tape your mouth before I let that happen. You pinch his ear. This is your home.
And SoCal is yours, so why don’t we move there?
Because I don’t want to. I want to be with you and the people you love, in the place you love. Because I love you and I love the people you love, and I love London. 
You’re quite literally perfect. I hope you know.
You make it clear everyday. 
And I won’t ever stop. Because you deserve to know.
“This place is cold, the way you said it was. This place is gloomy, the way you said it was. But this place isn’t a home to me anymore…the way I once thought it was.”
Should he have been more careful—more caring—then he wouldn’t be here. This wouldn’t be happening, but it is. And it’s no one’s fault but his.
Sniffing, you rub your swollen eyes. “I’m going to pack my things and go to Benny’s funeral.” It's a declaration. He nods, attentively. “And I’m not coming back. Is that okay?”
No. It wasn’t okay. You’re tearing him in half, you’re stabbing his heart over and over again. You’re telling the truth and putting yourself first. Something he was awful at doing. What brought you two to this very moment in time.
“I’m so sorry. I’m sorry I treated you the way I did.” I love you. “But if that’s your decision, then go on. Do what you need to do.” I love you. 
“Good.” I love you. But I can’t say it aloud if not I’d stay forever. 
You smile and he smiles back.
“Good.”
taglist: @blueflorals @starmanv @coolio2195 @lovrsm @weekendlusting@chanshintien @brune77e @myownwritings @timmychalametsstuff @milasexutoire@alesainz @c-losur3 @darleneslane @togazzo @urfavnoirette @namgification @lpab @d3kstar @anniee-mr @nebarious
763 notes · View notes
morgana-ren · 8 months
Note
i love angst, and i love your writing, but please, PLEASE, i beg you, could you write some hope of tav ever returning now that the imbecile, has realised the error of his ways 🥺😭 (either way, thank you so much, for all your astarion writtings, it has made me feel things, the angst is real and my masochistic heart loves it🥲)
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First part of the story HERE
Common complaint I got on that one! So I fixed it just for y'all. This ending is much less sad and much more sappy, so here is the comfort you need after all that angst!
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"Darling, will you smile for me? Just once more. Please--"
He feels her cheeks in his palms, the soft skin against his battle-hardened callouses. Desperation cradles his unbeating heart, and for a moment, the emotion is far too much. A searing flame after centuries of frost. A bonfire in a blizzard. It hurts-- it burns--
"My love, I just need you to--"
"Anything my lord, anything at all for you. Simply command me and I will do anything you ask."
"No, I can't-- I-- I won't do it. I won't. I won't!"
"My lord?"
Her head cocks, turning slowly to look upon him, but her eyes-- they are empty; beetle-black and hollow. Her smile is uncanny as a painted doll, her movements disjointed and inhuman. Her teeth are stained crimson with blood, dripping, dripping, ever dripping down, never swallowed, only pooling.
She is light as a feather as she slips away from him, her skin marbling into a sickly gray before ash spreads across her body as a disease, smearing her form into nothingness. Only her face is left untouched, pretty as porcelain, unflinching and unfalling save a small crack that splinters down from her forehead down to her eyes, revealing inky black abyss beneath.
"My lord-- Oh, my tender, vicious lord. I can feel your anguish-- your hunger. Devour me to be whole once more--"
Her blood smells of rot and she--
She is too far gone to save. Too far gone to ever be saved.
"I won't!"
Whirlwind. Pain. Confusion and dread and seeping anguish. A maelstrom of rage and all-consuming despair swelling from within his soul—
—his soul?
The world around him falls away, a wicked tornado thrashing him about, his mind howling in the eternal winds--
And suddenly he is in a chair.
Not a throne. A chair— and a rather uncomfortable one at that.
"What in the hells—"
His vision spins, nausea curling his gut into a wicked tide of sickness barely restrained by his teeth. He tastes stale blood crawling up his throat, threatening to overturn onto the faded rug beneath him.
"Did you see what you wished for, little spawn?"
The voice takes him by surprise. It is not hers, but another, less familiar voice. The wailing animal in his head retreats to a dull roar as his memory creeps back. A brightly colored tent assaults his vision, piecemeal rugs and odd, foreign trinkets abound on makeshift shelves, and before him sits a strange old woman, hood pulled heavy over her straggling gray hair.
"I-- What was that?"
He sees her cracked, aging lips upturn, gnarled hands placed protectively over a strange orb on the table touching his knees. "I have shown you your future, vampling. Was it to your liking?" Panic rises within his stomach again, and though he does not breathe, he clutches his chest. The smell of incense clogs his nostrils and again, the wave of sick threatens to spill forth. Wretched taste of metallic, aged blood sits heavy on his tongue, all sensation too much-- all of it too much.
"No-- No, that cannot be it!"
"This is your path, Pale Elf. The road you walk. The power you seek is well within your grasp, but as I told you before, it will cost you everything."
He vehemently shakes his head, denying it. Denying it before her and all the Gods.
"You told me upon entry that no price was too great for your reward. Do you still agree with this sentiment?"
"No! Not-- not her. Not her. Not that! I couldn't--"
"You can and you shall, sure as the moon follows the sun. You will have everything you ever wanted, but cost of this ritual is plain before you. You cared not for the many souls left to your mercy that are crushed beneath your tyrannical fist in your ascension, but what of the sole one that resides in your heart?"
Her. The light of his life. The air he breathes. The sun on his frigid flesh, the warmth that melts his icy heart.
"No," He hisses, trying to stand, but ultimately unable to muster the strength. "I won't! There-- There must be another way. Show me!"
"There is no other way," She says, solemnly. "It is inevitable."
He swallows down the information like a boulder lodged in his gullet. Her words echo endlessly in his mind, bouncing off the walls and lodging shards of ice directly in his soul.
"What if I-- What if I don't ascend? Tell me, what if I don't?"
She smiles again, teeth flashing through her thin lips. "That is another path, little elf." "I need to know. I-- I need certainty. I won't do this to her, but I--" He pauses, grappling with everything in his mind, desperately flitting about to absorb it all. "If I am going to forgo this, I need to be certain. I need to know that I can protect her, that she will be safe--"
But the woman simply shakes her head.
"Everyone must choose. For some, the path is dark, but for you, you see more than most will ever have the comfort of knowing. I can offer you nothing more. Should you initiate the Rite, you know this will come to pass. I can tell you nothing more if you choose to not. The future is yet unwritten, and the quill resides in your hands." "Then why can I not have both!" He slams a fist on the table, clawing at the soft wood. For the first time in ages, tears prick at his pale lashes and frustration wells a knot in his throat. "Why--" "Because one path is wholly your own, while the other is a tangled web, such is the nature of deals with the Hells. You will get everything you ever wanted and lose everything that made it worth having."
His head slumps, defeated and miserable. Silvery tears slide down the curves of his cheeks, even as he attempts to bite them back. He thought he would find comfort in knowing the future, but all it has given him is utter horror.
"Despair not," She continues. "Yes, you will wither under the sun, an eternally cursed dweller of the night, but all is not lost, is it? The one you love, will she stray from your side?" "I wanted her to have better than that," He sniffles, needling his lip with a fang. "I cannot brave the sun, but her-- She deserves better than that-- better than me."
"And what of what she feels?"
His brows furrow, and he peers up at the woman from tear-beaded lashes.
"You are a night walker; it is in your nature to be selfish. But love is not selfish, little vampling. You must fight your nature, your inherent self-loathing, or your love will always find the fire. What of what she desires?"
"She loves me," He says with absolute certainty. "And I--" "Do you love her?"
"Yes," He hisses, almost insulted that she would ask. "More than anything. I'm here, aren't I?"
"Then the rest matters naught. If you love her, you will allow her the agency to choose-- something you deny her as an ascendent. You must grow past your own follies. To love is to be vulnerable, and you must allow both yourself and her this freedom."
They are hard words to swallow, and yet, he feels the truth resound in them. She would not leave his side, even as he tried to force her to understand. Even as an instrument of his manipulation and schemes came to light, she stood steadfast with him, hand entwined in his, ready to face the fire together.
"I-- I need to know she will be safe."
Again, the woman shakes her head. "You cannot. You must fight fate if you wish to overturn it. You face dire odds, though throwing the dice in your favor now will doom you later should this outcome be the confirmation of your fears."
He sighs, face crinkling as he sniffs once more, summoning the willpower to swallow down the agony of his choice. He finds the strength in his legs to push himself upward from the chair, weak and shaking as a newborn fawn as he does so. "I will do whatever I need to. Anything."
"Then you may yet see this through."
He can hear the fanfare of the circus outside, the bawdy bards strumming away on their lutes and banging on drums, the elated screams of the children and their parents. Facing the light now seems impossible, but he must find his way home to her-- he has to be with her now now now--
"The coin first, boy."
He snaps out of his delirium only long enough to fish his hands into one of his pockets, bringing out a coin. Aged and neglected, the sinister engraving of a skull peers up at him from his palm, ruby eyes gleaming in the light as he tosses it into the woman's knobbily-jointed hands.
"Best of luck to you, night-child," She tucks it away. "We may yet meet again." "No offense, but I hope not."
"Me too, Little Star."
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He pays little mind to the bustling streets and bursting taverns of Baldur's Gate, his feet carrying him back to camp as swiftly as his body will allow. It takes him until sundown even as he damn near jobs, ripping through the tree line and into the ruins with the intensity of a man starved.
"Astarion!" Karlach greets him, trying to wave him over. "I've got a bet with Gale about--" "Where is she?" Astarion immediately cuts her off, looking around frantically.
"Who?" Karlach raises a brow.
"Who else?" Wyll crosses his arms, looking intrigued at Astarion's intensity.
"Oh! In her tent, I think. Why? Gotcha a special something' in town for her, eh?" Karlach tries to rib at him, but he pushes past her without a second glance.
"Bet it's a fancy new dress he needs to tear off of her immediately," Karlach rolls her eyes before returning to her business.
He bursts into her tent to find her hunched over a book, tongue poking from between her teeth, as she scans over the page. This only lasts a few seconds before he scrambles onto the bed, squeezing her as tightly as he can manage, burying his nose into her hair, tears brimming in his eyes once more.
"Woah, hey!" She laughs, carefully setting her book aside, trying to discern what in the hells he is mumbling endlessly into her neck.
Need you-- need you-- love you-- can't lose you-- don't ever--
She hushes him, realizing something has gone terribly, terribly wrong, kissing his head and tugging him close. "Hey, what's wrong?"
She tries to cup his cheeks and bring his face up but he adamantly refuses, hard-swallowing the urge to bawl into her shoulder with every ounce of willpower he has. All he can manage is to cling to her, half sobbing, visions of that terrible future swimming in his head. He cannot let it come to pass, he will not--
And she holds him, cradling him in her arms, hushing him gently. Her face creases with worry, running her hands through his silvery hair as he pulls him into her lap.
"Little Star, what's wrong? You seem so upset. What can I do to make you happy, my love?"
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"Is it done?" Ulma leans down as she enters the tent, carefully dodging the intricate tassels of the blanket strewn over the entryway.
"It is," The strange old woman replies, still rubbing the coin with her worn thumb.
"And?"
"I showed him nothing but truth," She says quietly. "I did not manipulate his vision. Only channeled it."
"That tells me nothing. I need to know if our children are safe."
"I cannot tell you this, Ulma. You know of the ways of our tribe; our relationship with these magics." Ulma's lips purse, her exasperation evident in her humorless expression. "I need to know--"
"His reaction was genuine. That was not my doing. He knows the price of power. I cannot tell you if he will pay it regardless," The old woman's head lifts, a slight mischievous smile playing on her lips. "But I can tell you what I think."
"And what do you think?"
"I have seen his soul-- the heart of it. I believe you will see our children yet. He will spare our heart to spare his own in kind. It beats in that woman," Her eyes twinkle in the low candlelight, a genuine smile widening across her cheeks. "I believe he can find redemption yet."
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thisonehere · 6 months
Text
Kharacters reacting to you opening your eyes after they assumed you died
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C/w: Angst, mentions of blood and physical assault, afab reader
Kitana
The battle had finally met its end, Kitana was able to push back the army of Shao to the point of retreat. A smile spread across her face at this victory... but this smile soon faded as she noticed something: she didn't see you anywhere.
"Y/n!" She called, expecting to see among her ranks. But you weren't there.
Kitana's heart began to race as she started to look this way and that for you, but you weren't anywhere to be seen.
With a hard swallow, she turned and started to search among the bodies of the dead soldiers.
She paused and rolled over the dead bodies, hoping that you weren't one of them.
Then she saw it, she saw your mangled body lying broken in the mass of other bodies.
During the battle, you found General Shao, or he had found you, either way, it left you in this condition...and he.... he...did this to you
"No..." Kitana bellowed as she went to her knees beside you.
Kitana has seen a lot of things, done a lot of things, but seeing your brutalized body...it-it just made her sick to her stomach.
She bowed her head and took your hand as she began to make a silent prayer for your soul. As she did, she began to blame her
You had initially wanted to stay in Sun Do, but she convinced you to come and fight. Now you're here, in this shape. If it wasn't for her, you'd be safe at home.
She thinks of the life you could have had if only you never came here. She even begins to question what your life would have been like if you never crossed paths with her.
Before she can finish her revere and her prayer, your eyes snap open.
Kitana lifted her head, and a slight gasp exited her mouth.
You attempt to move but only howl in pain at your injuries. Kitana's grip on your hand tightens "Stay still," she instructs, "We're going to find you help" She assures. This settles you down, her words are surprisingly calm to you.
Though your condition is severe, Kitana can't help but smile to herself at knowing you're alive. She wants to yell at you, scold you for being so reckless in going against Shao without her. But she cannot. She is just so overwhelmed with relief that you are okay.
Bi-Han
As grand-master of the Lin Kuei, Bi-Han had many duties to fulfill. But when evening finally fell and he had completed all his tasks, he had one thing that he was forward to: spending time with you. After the great betrayal that his brother and Tomas did to him, you stood by his side no matter what and for that he was truly grateful for.
He approached your room door and gently knocked it, hoping not to startle you. "Y/n, my beloved, may I come in?" he asked.
Bi-Han waited for a response, but none came. Just silence. Bi-Han was confused, normally you would have responded by now.
He knocked again, once again with no response.
Bi-Han couldn't lie, he was getting slightly concerned, almost afraid. This wasn't like you at all. Were you giving him the silent treatment? What did he do? Is there a way he could fix things?
His patience eventually wears thin and he kicks down the door. And there he sees you lying on the ground, in a pool of your own blood.
Bi-han felt his heart drop and his blood stop as he sees you. His eyes began to dart around the room and he saw the window open, by force by the looks of it. An assassin. Did his brother send them? It doesn't matter, not right now.
He rushes to your bleeding corporeal and picks you up. He doesn't know what to do, how long were you like this? He panics and lays you on the bed. He calls for a guard "Bring a medic, NOW!". With a nod they rush away.
For the next passing moments, all Bi-Han can do is stare at your body. He shakes his head as anger begins to build up within him.
He had so many plans and things he wanted to do with you. He wanted to place a ring on your finger, hold his first-born with you, hold you tight as you slept in his bed. He also knew you yourself had plans for the future, and now it is all gone. Something that will never be.
He sits on the bed and holds you tight in his arms. Your perfume fills his nostrils, a cruel mocking of what could have been.
He looks at you face, you look so beautiful and peaceful even in this state. He wanted to kiss it, but he realized that instead he will have to bury it.
You eyes splinter open all of a sudden.
Bi-Han lets out a sigh, he hadn't even noticed he was holding his breath.
You twist in pain, disoriented by what's happening. A sharp pain shoots through your body. "Don't move." He says, holding you tight. A surprisingly cool and warm sensation springs from his body into yours providing a slight comfort.
Bi-Han was relieved, he felt his heart slow down. He heard the guard and the medic coming this way and they would see him holding you. But he couldn't care less, all that mattered to him now was that you would be okay.
Raiden
Today's training at the Wu Shi Academy was nearly overwhelming, but Raiden couldn't but find it very rewarding. He was not excited for the next part of his day: seeing you.
He quickly gathered together as many flowers as he could find (he couldn't remember what you said your favourite was) and hardly made his way to your personal chambers.
He went to the door and raised his hand to knock. But he hesitated. Was now a good time? He didn't want to bother you. Did you even want to see him.
Finally finding the courage, he knocks lightly on the door. No response.
He knocked again, slightly harder. Once again there was no response. Raiden was starting to feel embarrassed, he turned to leave.
Raiden shook his head and turned back to the door. He was going to leave for Outworld soon, this could be one of the few times he could see you. He knocks on the door much harder this time.
The door slowly creaked open. Raiden then finally noticed that the door looked like it was kicked open, the lockset was knocked out of place.
Raiden felt his heart begin to race, he hesitantly entered your room and found it was a mess. It was filled with shattered glass on the floor, dents in the wall, and some splotches of blood here and there. It looks like a struggle has taken place.
Okay, now he was really concerned.
Raiden rushed in, "Y/n!" he called.
Turning the corner, he finds your body lying there on the floor close to your bedroom. You had a blood trail behind you, you were trying to crawl away. Either from your attacker or to get help. It didn't matter now though.
Raiden felt his heart stop, and he fell to his knees beside you. "By the Elder Gods, who did this to you?" he asked, his voice beginning to shake.
Who would want to do this to you, he thought, what monster would want to hurt such a warm, kind, smart, beautiful creature like you?
He felt his eyes burn, from both tears beginning to form as well as electricity beginning to crackle around his eyes. He didn't even have control over this, all he saw was red. He was usually a gentle person, but he felt something dark come over him here and now.
"I'll find them," He promised "I'll find them, I'll-I'll kill them!" His voice, though calm, had an air of intensity around. Seeing you like this brought the dark out of him that he tried so hard to suppress. But he could care less about it, not right now at least.
Without a warning, your eyes break open. Raiden felt the lightning in his eyes vanish. His anger subsided by surprise and relief.
You wheeze and twist in agony. You feel your broken lungs crunch as you try to speak to him, tell him everything.
Raiden shushes you as he gently takes your hand. "It's okay, Y/n, we'll figure this all out later. Now, we're going to help you."
His finger glimmered with a gentle electricity. he hadn't ever really tried to heal with his amulet before, but for now, for you, he was willing to try.
As he began to work on you, he shivered as he reflected on what happened to him. It felt like he had become a completely different person. A much darker person, a dark Raiden.
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entitled-fangirl · 4 months
Text
So guilty.
Felix Catton x reader
Summary: An accident happens and the reader dies. Felix blames himself for it.
Words: 1,959
Warnings: spiked drink, death, drowning, cursing, makeout session, skinny dipping, guilty conscience
Author's note: Idea came from this request!!!!
Masterlist &lt;3
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.................................................................................
Felix and his girl had been together for what felt like an eternity. Truthfully, they'd been together a little over two years. But she spent many of her breaks at Saltburn with him, and his family adored her as one of their own. 
That’s what made things so difficult. She was practically one of them. 
Felix loved her more than the moon and the stars. She was his everything. He would eat, sleep, and breathe her if he could. She was his reason for waking up in the morning. And she was a beautiful sight to wake up to, indeed.
Like this morning.
Felix opened his eyes to see the sun peeking through his window, illuminating the bedroom. He leaned on one elbow to admire the sunrise before ultimately laying back down on his back. His head looked directly to his side to see his beloved girl. His angel.
She laid on her stomach, her face turned in his direction. Her cheek was slightly squished against the pillow, her hair an absolute wreck. But he found it so alluring. So perfect. Heavenly. Her pretty face lit up by the sunlight was the best thing his brown eyes had ever had the joy to witness. He let out a soft breath at the sight. One that woke her up.
Her eyes flickered open, before quickly closing again after seeing the sun in her eyes. She let out a light groan. “Mmm… ‘Morning, love.”
He grinned, his voice gravely from sleep, “‘Morning, angel. God, you’re such a pretty girl.”
She smiled, rolling over onto her back. A hand of hers came up to cover her eyes as she lightly rubbed them with the back of said hand. 
He wished he could save this moment in time forever.
But, like all good things, it must come to an end.
Duncan’s voice was heard outside the door. “Master Felix, breakfast is in thirty minutes.”
He leaned up on his elbow, his voice echoing, “Thank you, Duncan.”
They heard his footsteps retreat from the door.
Felix’s attention turned back to the girl in his bed. Her pretty face. Her perfect body. Her sweet sweet soul. “What do you wanna do today, angel?”
A silence fell over them before she opened her eyes again, staring at the ceiling. She thought for a while before turning her head to look at him, “Let’s drink the day away, huh? You and me?”
He didn’t need to be told twice. His lips pull into a grin before he gently kisses her forehead, “Anything my angel wants.”
Hours after breakfast, the two sat in the library, sharing a bottle of liquor. 
Felix’s parents didn’t mind. Not at all. They were the parents to encourage drinking in the house rather than out in bars and clubs, claiming it was best for them to realize their tolerance when safe at home. Felix didn’t care what morals they tried to teach. They could drink in the house, and that’s all he needed to know. 
The bottle sat half empty, the two feeling buzzed as they talked for hours. 
It didn’t really matter what the two talked about. Not at all. Felix could listen to her speak the alphabet for four hours and still think she was the most precious thing on earth. 
But it escalated after a while. The two lay on the couch, their bodies close as they made out. 
His hand was up her shirt, her hands pulling at his hair. He would never get tired of her pretty body. The small noises she made in pleasure. The way her body would react to his touches. He loved every second of it. 
She pulled away from him suddenly, her eyes staring at his lips. “Let’s… let’s go sw… swim, yeah? C’mon Lex.”
He takes a moment to consider, or as much as he could in his drunken state, “you sure, angel? It could be kinda cold…”
She nodded, “Pl…Please, Please Lex. Wanna swim… Wanna swim with you..”
He nodded, letting his fears go before they even became present.
… 
She pulled him across the dock excitedly. 
He set their basket and bag down before setting up their picnic. Well, as much of a picnic they could put together by themselves, two drunk college kids in love.
He laid out the blanket before setting down the other alcohol bottles he brought. He let her take a look at the bottles as he set each one down on the blanket. “Now, let’s waste the rest of the day like you wanted, angel.”
She quickly pulled off her swimsuit cover, revealing the cute red bikini she was wearing. 
He couldn’t help but stare. God, she was such a pretty thing. Too pretty. How he got her, he’d never know. She must’ve felt his stares because she grinned. “C’mon, Catton. You promised a swim…with…with me.”
He nods, opening one of the bottles in front of him. “I did. Just wanna… wanna buzz a little before I do… just…go…go ahead, baby girl….”
She didn’t need to be told twice. She grinned, running off the dock into the water. 
He grinned, laying down on the blanket and pulling the bottle to his lips. “Talk to me…”
She splashed the water around her, “Oh, Lex. This is incredible. This... yeah… good idea…”
His head nods, even if she couldn’t see it. He pulled his sunglasses on, not wanting to look directly into the sun above him. “Well… wasn’t my idea but… I’ll take… credit if it makes you happy…”
She giggles, “It does.”
Felix let the silence fall before changing the subject. “D’ya think Oli’s alright? He was acting weird yesterday…. Should… Should have I invited him to swim with us today?”
He could practically hear her grin in her voice. “Oh, Oliver doesn’t want to be here… this is for you…and me.”
He grinned, “What… what d’ya mean, angel?”
He’s hit in the face with a cloth. He pulls it up.
Her swimsuit pieces. 
He sits up, holding the pieces in front of him with a shit-eating grin. “Fuck, angel. You’re quite… quite wicked… aren’t you?” He took another swig of his bottle. 
She giggles from the water. “Aren’t you glad Oliver’s not here?”
He scoffed, “More than fucking happy… no one gets to see this but me, huh? Such a pretty girl…” He stood, stumbling slightly. How much of that bottle had he drank?
He shuffled forward on the dock until she was in his line of sight. The sight of her bare shoulders sent him into a frenzy. “Fuck…” He wished, just for a moment, that they were in a clean pool so he could see through the murky water. See her pretty body on display for him. 
She grinned, “Ya coming in, Lex?”
He let out a breath, “Jesus, angel. Yeah… yeah I…. I’ll be there.. Give me… give me a second.”
He walked back to the blanket, struggling to take off his shirt. He does so, tossing it in the bag before taking another swig of the bottle in front of him. 
He sets the bottle down and walks back to the end of the dock.
Where was she?
Oh, Fuck. Where was she?
“…Angel…?”
No response. 
His voice grew louder, “C’mon, angel. This isn’t funny.”
When he was met with silence, his mind quickly sobered him. His voice was loud, calling out desperately, “Angel… ANGEL!”
When no answer was heard, he jumped into the cold water. 
He surfaced, his head swiveling around to look for her. Any sign of her. Where the fuck was she?
His heart told him it was just a game, that she was hiding somewhere, but his head said differently. She didn’t play games like this. Not the worrisome kind. 
He began to swim further out in search for her. He hit the middle of the pond, looking around desperately. 
He had only turned his head for a second. A second. And she was gone. 
She was gone.
His family heard his heartfelt screams from the house.
A few days had passed, and Felix was beyond disrepair. His hair was unwashed, his facial hair grew in, and his eyes held a dull look compared to the bright shine they used to have.
He felt guilty. So guilty. 
He had killed her.
As much as people tried to convince him that it wasn’t his fault, that he didn’t do it, it didn’t matter. He still believed that he killed the one thing he lived for. And he killed himself in the process.
With Oliver’s party coming up, Felix couldn’t care any less. He felt guilty for not entertaining his guest, but what was he supposed to do? The poor mourning boyfriend couldn’t even sleep at night, his night terrors becoming worse every night.
Oliver broke the boy’s train of thought. “Felix?”
He looked up from the bottle in his hand, “…what?”
Oliver was saddened by the tired, heartbreaking look in Felix’s eyes. “I’m worried about you. You don’t sleep. Don’t eat… This isn’t what she would’ve wanted.”
“How do you know what she wanted” Felix’s voice growled. His hand tightened around the bottle. 
“I… I don’t know… It was just a thought, Felix. You really do need to care for yourself…”
The poor Catton didn’t even look up from the bottle this time, “You don’t know anything about me, Oliver. Now, get the fuck out.”
Oliver stumbled back, surprised by his harsh words before obeying them. 
Felix sat against the base of the statue in the maze. His eyes closed in thought. He should be happy. Partying. Having fun. Enjoying life. 
Life.
How could he enjoy his life when he ended hers?
He reached over to the newest bottle next to him, taking a big swig. 
He was a disgusting human being. How could he even be around a party after he did this? After he lost her? His angel. God, his fucking angel was dead. 
He finished off the bottle quickly, throwing it into one of the hedges. His head fells against the statue, his body relaxing. 
He heard rustling and opened his eyes.
Oliver rounded the corner of the maze, meeting Felix’s eyes. 
“Thought you’d be here…”
Felix’s eyebrows furrowed at the sight of Oliver’s antlers. “…the fuck you… you wearing, Quick?”
Oliver’s head tilted, “It’s for the party? How much have you been drinking, Felix?”
The boy’s shoulders shrug, “Doesn’t fucking matter….”
Oliver nods, “Well.. you have the wings on. I’m not that strange for my antlers… unless, of course, you’re too drunk to remember putting them on?”
Felix turned her head to look. Sure enough, a pair of gold wings were on his back. When the fuck did they get there? This whole time? He let out a groan, “I’m fine, Oli…”
Oliver sighs, “Yeah, sure bud.”
Felix noticed the mostly full alcohol bottle in Oliver’s hand, his eyes wandering to it. 
Oliver noticed it too. He held it up. “You want this?”
Felix nodded, holding out his hand.
And Oliver happily handed it to him with a shit eating grin.
“Just… don’t drink too much too fast, Felix. Got that?”
Felix nodded, “Fuck off. I… I’m fucking fine…”
Oliver nods. “Alright. I’m gonna go back to the party. Just… sorry, Felix.”
Felix took a large drink from the bottle, “What the fuck for?”
Oliver shrugs, “Everything, I guess. You got handed the wrong cards in life.”
He scoffed, “Go back to your party.”
Oliver does just that.
In the morning, Felix’s body was found in the maze, exactly where Oliver had last seen him. The bottle laid empty in his hand.
Oliver found peace knowing the two lovers were reunited in a much different place.
....................................................................
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astrologydayz · 7 months
Text
ASTRO SEXOLOGY NOTES🔞 - NATAL CHART3
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Venus in 12th house, or 5th/8th house ruler in 12th house can get into "love" affairs while being on vacations/retreats/In foreign countries/while they're in a hospital/psych ward, and even in prison
Mars square/quincunx MC makes u so damn fine! U can carry yourself a bit "rougher" tho/look unapproachable = "people being intimidated by u", & u being a little "what the fuck u staring at", and we love it💋🤣. People with Venus conjunct/trine/quintile Eros asteroid - 433) r really sexual individuals. But they most of the time need a "personal connection" of some kind, before jumping in2 bed with someone. They ooze sexual confidence tho, because they know what they want&need sexually🤤🫦. Casanova asteroid - 7328) in Libra/7th house/aspecting Jupiter can “stray" away from their partner, quite easily. They can quickly find somebody else, that they find more "fascinating". They get bored fast! But this mostly applies 2men tho💻📓.
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Inner planets in earth signs = very sexual beings, so idk what the fuck people r on about. We just don't fuck the 1st John we c on the street🤷‍♀️. Really picky when choosing a sexual/romantic partner, and we also need 2 know that you're trustworthy 1st. But when you finally pull through, we'll show u what freaky means😘.
Scorpio Mars in/8th/12 house in a MAN'S chart can go 4 hourssss 😵‍💫😵‍💫🫠🫠. Unless Mars is afflicted by other planets, like Saturn, or Jupiter. Saturn ruled people got piercings almost always - body/head/genitals🫦👅). Saturn rules piercings, (restriction, and Steel). Add a little pain 2 the mix, &😍.
Pluto conjunct Mars in a MAN'S chart = some serious sex appeal. They're so fucking smooth2, and have no problem with showing their dominant side. They can easily steal yo girl⚠🍆🔮. Everyone wants a piece💦🙄🤣👄.
Venus/Mars/Pluto in 3rd house likes 2 talk during sex. "U like that baby?" "tell me how much u want it", "yeah I like it, when u got your mouth full🍆🍑". They also get off on how much u can "out smart them" - Book smart or Street smart, either way🧏🤭🤓.
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Sun opposite Black Moon Lilith can look for sexual partners that looks, or reminds them of their dad🤷‍♀️(Daddy issues).
Funny how people say that Mars/Venus in 8th/8th house in Scorpio people gets more interested, if u make us jealous??? I will literally erase u🫠🧐. If we wanted to share a person, we would have gone 2 a strip club instead.
Venus square Jupiter does not mean that the individual is "addicted 2 sex", unless anything else shows so.
Jupiter in 9th house/Jupiter aspecting 9th house can show that u have big hips/big thighs/long legs💛👅.
Asteroid Varuna (20000) conjunct/trine your 7th house means that your sexual partners makes u famous, "worldwide attention" because of who u date/have close relationships with✨. If it's in Gemini (example), then u could date famous singers, actors, motivational speakers, things like that.
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POF conjunct 5th house can cause the individual 2 be very experienced in the department of love, by the end of their lives. They've dated a lot of different people most of the time, and have had all kinds of relationships - polyamorous with some, monogamous with others - examples.
Records asteroid - 30718) conjunct/opposite Mars in a MAN'S chart, can show that he "enchants" people (usually worldwide) with his sex appeal🤤🫠. The opposition shows a "complication", when it comes 2 this = wanting 2 break records for your talent/s/work, & not only4sex appeal👽.
U don't have 2 have Venus/Mars aspecting each other 2 be fine af/gain a lot of attraction from others bc of your looks/sex appeal. Look at Zac Efron - when he was young, Jungkook - BTS, Tupac🤤, Jackson Wang, Hyunjin from Skz, Rihanna, Marilyn, Austin Butler, Justin Bieber - I don't think he's hot, but some people do - I could keep going.
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Women with Mars/Venus conjunct/in 8th house = typically sexually attracted2 "misunderstood individuals" - "someone who's bad, &only good4her" kind of thing. She needs an EVERYTHING BUDDY! A loyal lover/best friend/partner in crime! someone who will never doubt her, but challenge her/someone who brings a healthy amount of “competition"/sexy bantering. She also want someone who's REALLY ready2dominate the fuck out of her, bc she's so used2 dominating people on a daily basis💁‍♀️.
Eros - (433) conjunct 11th house = being sexually attracted 2friends/finding fwb relationships 2be the perfect "arrangement"🎉💃.
Mars conjunct/trine "Dominiona" asteroid - 24899) in a MAN'S chart = a VERY sexually dominant man😤👅. "Big daddy takes little daddy energy" - they can command 10 men like that🤌. Won't let anyone try2run up on em, at any time🫠🤤. Masters at dominating "brats"2, they'll put yo ass in place babe💋.
Venus quincunx Eros asteroid - 433) shows us that an individual typically feels like they're not as sexually "appealing" as people say they r/they won't believe others words. They won't "realise" that they're sexy as hell! They let their insecurities speak4them a lot. But once they start getting that “self assurance/self confidence” = they'll quickly realise that they're the shit, when it comes 2 "seducing" - "enticing" others❤️🍒.
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THANKS4READING!!!
APPRECIATE U, ALWAYS💋
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spacebarbarianweird · 7 months
Text
The Scorching Sun
My desperate attempt to redeem the ending scene
Astarion is running away from the sunlight once the tadpole is gone, and Tav is nowhere to be seen.
Tags: hurt/comfort
Read on AO3
Masterlist
Headcanons
The excruciating pain pierces Astarion as his skin starts burning.
The sun's searing rays cause agony from which there is no respite. The tadpole's grip finally releases him. Still, as it does, it leaves behind a gaping void, one filled with a mind that races with panic and anxiety, amplifying the horrors that lie ahead.
Astarion is scared. He has never felt so frightened in his life. Not when he awoke in his coffin two centuries ago, dying of hunger and pain. Not when Cazador put him through horrors and torments. Not when he was sealed in the tomb for an entire year. Not when he thought Tav was dying.
Because now he is burning alive.
Astarion desperately looks at his companions seeking support, but instead, he sees disgust on their faces as if without tadpoles they suddenly realize Astarion is a vampire.
He hears a chuckle, probably from Gale, that "Now our friend has to return to shadows" and another voice, "Seems like we won't see him again soon."
Once trusted friends now cruelly mock him, their laughter an eerie cacophony that reverberates in the depths of Astarion's consciousness. Each word stabs his undead heart.
You are nowhere to be seen. You are absent when he needs you the most.
Astarion runs toward the huge crates at the pier, which cast a comforting shadow. Astarion stumbles – he can't see anything; the sun has burnt his eyes. By touch, he finally gets to the shadows, curls up in the corner, and presses his legs to the chest.
Eyesight finally recovers. Astarion hears distant voices – someone laughs, someone cheers. He is jealous. Why can't he be there, with them, in the sunlight? Didn't he suffer too much? Didn't he fight the Brain with the rest? Why, why?
Tears stream down his cheeks. Tears of pain, tears of desperation, resentment, injustice.
Betrayal.
As the sun slowly rises, a merciful shadow retreats, and a harsh ray of light burns Astarion's right leg. The once-safe haven has become dangerous, and despair compels Astarion to seek refuge in the nearest house. The sun continues to scorch him, subjecting him to wave after wave of searing pain.
However, an invisible barrier obstructs his path, granting entry only upon invitation, offering no respite for the vampire. Astarion is left to writhe in the agony of the daylight.
He must go to the Inn. The vampire's invitation is forever, but the city lies in ruins, with only fleeting shadows left. Baldurians cheer, praising the gods for saving them from unimaginable horrors. Amidst the joy and light, Astarion feels like crying, for he knows he doesn't belong here. Life, light, and happiness are not for him; he remains a creature of the night, a monster. His foolish hope for anything else has faded away.
At last, he reaches the Inn. Astarion pushes the door open and collapses on his knees, palms pressed into the wooden floor. The pain clings to his body like acid sweat. The tavern is empty, and Astarion manages to stumble upstairs, each step feeling like an eternity. Even the cruelest tortures in Cazador's mansion did not leave him feeling so helpless and weak.
Finally, he crawls into the room he once shared with you and collapses onto the bed. The dark room envelops Astarion like a lover, providing a shred of safety. The echoes of his former companions' laughter still torment the vampire like cruel ghosts from the past.
In desperation, Astarion questions if he heard your voice. Were your promises of love empty words? Could you no longer want him, and the tadpole was the sole reason for your affection? These tormenting thoughts whirl in his mind, threatening to drown him as hunger and pain draw him closer to the abyss.
The hunger is insatiable, gut-wrenching. The tadpole had once dulled it like a medicine. Now, it is back, threatening to turn Astarion into a feral, mindless monster.
Astarion clenches his fingers, trying to grasp the reality: he is alive, his master is dead, and he is free. But it all means nothing.
Hours pass, and Astarion attempts to enter a trance to escape the agony, but his sunburnt body refuses to cooperate. He longs for respite, for a brief escape from reality, but the pain and dark thoughts overwhelm him.
Yes, he did hear your voice in that laughter, and he envisions an evil grin on your face. Perhaps you despise him and have moved on to someone else. Silent tears stream down his face, bearing witness to the profound betrayal he feels from those he once trusted and loved and to the unending nightmare of his existence.
Then, he hears footsteps. The door swings open.
"Astarion! I should have known you were heading here," you exclaim as you sit on the bed and take his hand.
Astarion looks at you in disbelief. Your face, your voice, your scent. You are back. He wants to grab you, to press his face against your collarbone. But he is so weak he can't move.
"Does it hurt?" you ask. Astarion nods, and you press your lips to his knuckles.
"I'm so sorry. I fainted when the tadpole was removed. When I woke up, they told me you had run away, and I've been trying to find you ever since. Hey, look at me," you gently caress his cheek. "I am here. I'm not going anywhere."
Astarion finally manages to look into your eyes. He sees the same love, care, kind smile, hope, and support he thought he had lost.
"I thought… I thought you were never coming back," he whispers.
"Well, if you had run even further, I would have lost you forever," you say.
The tears prickle his eyes once again. How could he have ever doubted you? What kind of person was he to assume that his lover would betray him?
"You didn't answer if it hurts."
"Like a hellplane," he replies.
"I am so sorry. I truly am."
Astarion finally manages to lift his hands and he presses you against his chest. You roll over and lie beside him, putting your head on his shoulder, and he wraps his right hand around you as you place your hand on his stomach.
There are so many things he wants to say to you but simply can't.
"What are we going to do next?" you ask.
He shrugs. "I don't know. What do you want?"
"Anything that doesn't involve staying in this city. We could settle somewhere…"
"It would be tediously boring," Astarion interjects.
"Agreed. We'll always have time for that. Maybe we should go to the Underdark to help other spawns."
He strokes your hair. "I'm not taking a living person to a den of seven thousand vampires, that's for sure."
Astarion presses you tighter, wanting to feel your heartbeat. Then, a realization washes over him: he is no longer in pain. His skin doesn't burn, and his muscles aren't being torn apart. Your presence alone alleviates his suffering. He kisses your forehead and responds with a smile.
"What do you think about getting away? Traveling with me and seeing the world?" you finally propose.
"Darling, I thought you'd never suggest it. I'm sick of this place."
"And we can find a cure for you. There are probably ways to allow you to walk in the sun or even reverse your vampirism. This world is full of cruel wonders, so why not give it a try?"
He nods and gazes at your face as if trying to memorize every little detail.
"I'm not going anywhere, Astarion," you smile. "Stop looking at me as if I'm going to disappear." You sit up and ask, "Can I kiss you?"
"Only if you promise me something," Astarion counters.
"What is it?"
"Stop asking for permission to touch or kiss me."
"You sure?" you hesitate.
"Yes. Stop treating me as if I'm made of glass. It's you. Your touches can never be unwelcome."
You giggle and kiss him. At that moment, you are the two happiest people in the world.
**
You both lay in each other's arms until sunset. When night falls, you leave the city walls and enter the wilderness. You continue forward, holding hands as if afraid to lose each other. Astarion's undead heart rejoices. He has everything a man needs.
Freedom.
A woman he loves, who loves him in return.
A future.
He would be a fool to exchange all this for false promises of power.
Suddenly, you stop, wrap your hands around his neck, and press your lips against his. Then, you proceed to kiss his cheeks, his forehead, and everything you can reach while standing on the ground.
He flinches for a second but then hugs you back and tightens his grip.
"Never ask for permission," he whispers into your ear. "You are always invited."
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ddarker-dreams · 1 month
Text
Worthy Motivator.
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Blade x Reader.
Warnings: Typical Blade morbidity, Blade's slightly yan because I can never write him as Normal, and not SFW implications. Word count: 1k.
Author notes are at the end of the story!
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Washcloth in hand, you wipe away the perspiration clinging to your skin. 
While doing so, you squint, an act your reflection obediently mimics, confirming that yes; this disheveled figure is indeed you. You smooth out your hair, moisturize your face, then apply a light layer of toner. The process is completed in a timely fashion. A few hand motions made midair dim the bathroom’s lights.
Yawning, the door slides open at your behest, retreating into the wall like a turtle does its shell. The room is dome-shaped and customized to your liking. A light birch wood floor, pale pink walls, and windows showcasing scenery of a tulip field stretching on for miles. Windmills dot the distance, turning at their leisure. Gentle orange hues from two rising suns envelop the room in a cozy glow. 
If you hadn’t known any better, you’d believe you were actually on the planet Ethos, not traversing the cold, unforgiving space between galaxies.
While playing with the settings to change the time being depicted to twilight, it finally dawns on you that you’re not alone. 
Blazing eyes freeze you in place and your breath catches in your throat. 
“Blade,” you greet, wincing at how gracelessly the word rolls from your tongue, “I didn’t expect…” 
You cut yourself off, figuring that finishing the sentence will strengthen the bizarre atmosphere. What can be said, anyway? ‘Thanks for that,’ or ‘couldn’t have done it without you,’ maybe? Both options seem equally terrible. To make matters worse, he doesn’t explain why he’s stuck around. He continues to stand beside your nightstand, arms crossed over his chest, his lips drawn in a straight line. 
You’re the only one boasting signs of your previous tryst, the most obvious being your unsteady gait. Hoping to convey some decorum, you clasp your hands behind your back and straighten your posture. Surely, he’ll spill whatever’s on his mind and then make himself scarce. That’s been his modus operandi ever since this undefined relationship stumbled into existence. You tried not to take it personally. You’re both adults, if he doesn’t want to stick around for pillow talk, you won’t fault him for it. 
His eyes sear through your being. 
“You’re going to Illij.” 
You blink, thrown off by the flat delivery and the intentions it conceals. He’s either painfully blunt or cryptic in his word choice. It’d be nice if he could find a middle ground between both extremes, but that’s wishful thinking. 
With unusual impatience, he adds, “Alone.” 
Ah. 
A certain magenta-haired beauty’s previous words resurface in your mind. 
“—Alone? Not taking Bladie along for the ride?” she had tutted. “You’ll hurt his feelings.” 
You thought she was teasing, as she’s wont to do, yet your developing dilemma proves otherwise. That, or you couldn’t bring yourself to acknowledge the truth in her words. 
Whilst shifting your weight from one foot to another, you meekly reply, “Kafka gave me permission.” 
He has the audacity to roll his eyes at you. 
“Permission, huh?” 
The condescension corrodes your former sheepishness. 
Placing a hand on your hips, you reply, “That’s the word I used, yes.” 
Your room pulsates with palpable tension. He stands to his full height — having been seated on your bed’s edge — sauntering over like a cat poised to pounce. You cross your arms over your chest as the distance shrinks. He’s yet to fully dress himself, wearing only his signature gray pants. His bare torso is marred with innumerable scars that vary in length and angle. Every time you both succumb to the heat of passion, his bandages occupy a new spot, depending on the circumstances of his latest battles. Presently, the cloth coils around his midsection and upper left arm. 
He’s close enough now for you to notice the latter unraveling. 
It isn’t anything logical that urges you forward. The sentiment resides deep in the recesses of your psyche, unsuccessfully shoved down by denial and trepidation. This formless substance takes shape as you meet him halfway. Blade towers over you. Given the massive gap in your abilities, you should fear him, but you know your pounding heart isn’t spurred by negative emotion. 
Much to his perplexity, you set aside the nascent quarrel, focusing your attention elsewhere. Nimble fingers resecure the rebellious cloth. 
“You’re terrible at taking care of yourself,” you mutter. “Honestly, what am I s’posed to do with you…?” 
It’s subtle, but this shift in tone relaxes his muscles. That is, until you admit: 
“I don’t like you being my bodyguard.”
Confusion contorts his countenance, then something more raw; something dangerously intimate. 
“I don’t like seeing you get hurt because of me,” you continue, lowering both your voice and head. “It’s… it’s awful and— and then— you don’t even care!” 
Hoping to avoid further humiliation, you stop there, taking deep breaths to prevent tears from flowing. This wasn’t the direction you wanted the evening to take. You wanted to take a bath, dip into a game Silver Wolf wouldn’t stop raving about, and then prepare for your imminent trip. The trip that’d put thousands of lightyears between you and a man whose blood spilled for your sake could rival an ocean. 
“I’ll be fine on my own. I’ve got Silv’s disguise software and she knows how to track me. So — I don’t know — take it easy, or something. You’ve got the month off.” 
His response is immediate. “I can’t.”
“Wh— did you not hear anything I just said?” you sputter. 
“I heard,” he confirms. He raises his hand to the bandage you rewrapped, as if trying to savor your lingering warmth. “When you’re gone, I cannot ‘take it easy.’” 
Blade uses your stupefaction to his advantage. He takes your much smaller hand into his and places it over his heart. It thumps at a slow, steady pace, like it hasn’t been obliterated and formed anew thousands of times. Your fingers twitch. His body, though colder than the average person’s, emits just enough warmth to indicate life. You feel the raised, textured skin that’s present above his every vital organ. It speaks of untold horrors; untold suffering. 
His chest rumbles as he says, “If I’ve no choice but to live… you’d make for a worthwhile reason.” 
You rest your forehead against his chest and squeeze your eyes shut. 
Kafka… are you sure it isn’t my feelings that’re in the most danger? 
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A/N: owing to mental illness, aside from nexus, i devised another storyline for (slightly) less unhinged blade, this time with a stellaron hunter reader. while it has the material to make a series, i don't plan on starting up another multi-chaptered work until i make further progress into my current project 😭 still, i'm happy to talk about it if anyone's curious! here are some tidbits that give additional story context for this universe:
reader isn't super thrilled to be a stellaron hunter. a desperate situation ended in them joining the ranks. they're the emanator of the aeon of illumination, whose name i'm still undecided on. essentially, they're a 'consumer of stars,' capable of absorbing + storing well. you guessed it. stars. as you can imagine, this ability can provide immeasurable energy or devastation depending on its usage.
as a consequence, when reader's performing the sealing process, they're extremely vulnerable. it isn't exactly subtle, people tend to notice when their nearby sun is going cyaaaaaa ✌ and try to stop them. that's where bladie comes in. he kills anything and anyone that threatens them.
ethos is a pretty meadow planet that's known for harvesting clean energy (hydro, solar, wind) and using minimum technology. most of its inhabitants go their entire lives without ever seeing a computer. long distance communication is carried out through a dedicated fleet of carrier pigeons.
illij is a laissez-faire paradise. consumerism galore. ads projected in the night sky, ads projected in your dreams in certain low income areas where people can't afford space adblock™. it's a lot but sometimes reader appreciates the distraction.
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