Seasonal depression
Winter depression: Wanting to just crawl under the covers and never come out. The world feels hostile, angry, and you’d rather die than face it for another day. You haven’t seen the sun in days- you feel weaker, deteriorated. You’re tired all the time and it’s unbearable to do anything. You’re supposed to be celebrating the holidays. You’re supposed to have your life together. All you want to do is stay home but after a time the being alone begins to kill you. Everything around you dead and feeling like the days are so long that they will never come back to life again.
Spring depression: The sun playing tricks on you- it looks warm out but it’s not. This is also supposed to be a fresh start, a new day, but you feel like you haven’t shaken off the cold yet. The flowers are blooming and it devastates you because you don’t have time to enjoy them. Summer and winter both distant. Hating yourself for not loving it enough, breaking your promises. And then, that creeping feeling that it’s too warm this early in March. Did the daffodils come out as early last year? You can’t remember. Things growing and you, in the soil, stagnating, feeling like a swan among ducklings.
Summer depression: The worst kind of depression in my opinion. Summer is life and death mixed in one. Again, the feeling of wasting days, because this is meant to be the best time of the year but you’re spending it inside. Again. Everyone seems to busy and away and you start to get lonely. You’re busy, too, you have to keep working, and if you’re not working, the thought always lingers in the back of your mind that you’ll have to soon. It drives you insane. You lose yourself. The days pass slowly but the months go by fast, and soon you feel like it’s all slipped away and you forgot to enjoy it. Summer is always yearning for summers past and then weeping when the flowers rot.
Autumn depression: Again, so much beauty around you and not enough energy to appreciate it. It’s not always time, or society- after so long, you start to get scared that it might be you. Leaves falling everywhere and making you want to cry because it’s happening again but it’s never as magic as it once was. The chill in the air as you step outside, always slightly too cold to be happy. Everything dying again, and the wish that summer could last for just a moment longer, you swear this time you’ll appreciate it. The approaching dread of winter, trying ot savor the last dregs of sunlight, knowing it’s never enough.
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Etho claiming that he's only built the statues for himself and for Joel is,,,,, like there's two options for this
He's lying and he's in gaslight era, he's built the other hermit statues but no one has proof and he's gonna let the joke continue until he's caught
He's genuinely only built the statues for himself and Joel which does him no favors for the who's-more-obsessed-with-who allegations and someone on the server is purposely trying and succeeding to confuse the ever living hell out of him right now
Both are funny
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one of the reasons i didn't accept being trans sooner is because i'd look at the cishet men i know and at how they treat women in their lives, at how fucking vile they can get and how casual they are about being blatantly misogynistic, how there are usually absolutely no repercussions for any of it, and i'd think to myself "if this is what being a man is about then i don't want to be one". eventually i'd figure out that no, this isn't what being a man is about, it's just something a lot of them perpetuate, it's not inherent, you don't have to be That. so seeing other trans men who, generally speaking, should've had somewhat similar experiences, come out of it on the opposite end where they gleefully grab onto transmisogyny and have fun with it and feel justified and righteous perpetuating it is fucking baffling
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couldve sworn that i had uploaded these back when i drew them- clearly i was wrong lol. enjoy my grumboy
reblogs > likes! please help my art reach more people
want your own art? check out my commissions post!
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Mutual 1: The Lobby Boy is so fhdismsjalshfmdn.
Mutual 2. The Owner is so 😩😩😩
Mutual 3: If we break down the Hotel herself saying "Pain, if you want it" she really means...
Mutual 4: WOE, MANAGERBOY BE UPON YE!!! ✨🫀🫀✨🫀✨
Mutual 1: [Picture of the Bellhop] THERE'S A WEIRD FUCKING BELLHOP OUT HERE. I DON'T WANT IT STARTING A FIGHT WITH LOBBY BOY.
Mutual 5: I hope the Manager and the Hotel start stabbing each other. Sexually.
Mutual 6: I need the Manager to put cigarettes out on me fr. 💀
Mutual 2: The Concierge is so 😩😩😩
Mutual 1: I'm the Hotel's crusty white purse dog.
Mutual 3: I'm the Hotel's expensive rottweiler in a diamond-studded collar.
Mutual 6: I need the Hotel herself to bite me like a Snickers bar.
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Last line tag game
thanks for the tag @redmyeyes! unsurprisingly your lines stabbed me in the heart, what's new!
i truly have no idea what my last line was, so here are a couple of random excerpts from my 1979 fire island fic:
a little bit of angst:
“Skippy, it isn’t —” he shakes his head, “I’m fine —”
“No, Hawk. You’re not fine.”
Tim sits up abruptly, knocking Hawk aside. Hawk looks up at him helplessly, lost for words. He reaches out and then seemingly thinks better of it, drops his hand and says softly, “Skippy…”
But the spell has broken, and with the cold wash of clarity comes a sinking shame. Hawk is married. He’s grieving an inconceivable, unimaginable loss. What is Tim doing?
and something a little lighter:
Tim wants to indulge in it all: wants to suck Hawk’s fingers between his lips, wants to sink into the promised heat of Hawk’s mouth, his roving hands, the memory of the previous evening burning deep in his gut, but he still has just enough of a grip on his inhibitions to know how spectacularly stupid that would be — so he settles for leaning in, arms crossed over Hawk’s chest, grinning and wildly, incandescently happy, before bounding away again, carried by the beat of the music and the thrill in his veins.
tagging pretty much the same people as red did, bc i'm obsessed with their writing and their fics sustain me @jesterlesbian @brokendrums @ishipallthings @beyondxmeasure
also tagging @thewindyoubargainedfor bc your Roger fic lives rent free in my brain
and finally @bejeweledmp3 bc your Kimberly fic is everything i never knew i needed
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