#taking comfort in suffering

[callmebrutus]

stay at home malewife qfit and qpac who canonically wants to be treated like a princess.

can you hear me.

i think its a perfect case of things for them.

qfit grown tired of constant fighting and wants some stability in life. he wants to do something that doesn't involve violence, running, survival instincts. he wants to be safe and he wants to make a safe space for the people he loves and cares about.

and qpac wants to finally feel loved. he's been hurt by world for too long. even his family caused him trauma one way or another. his skin is bruised and bones are aching from phantom pain. he's the glue of favela 6. an anchor of sanity and pacifism. He Needs A Break.

not to mention that main part of his love interests are to say the least unhealthy. he was searching for care and safety, but in the wrong places and in the wrong people. dangerous = strong. but strong ≠ safe. you get me?

that's why qfit is the perfect match. the balance needed.

#qsmp #idk bro its 4 am for me I'm thinking ab qfit taking care of qpac and giving him the comfort he deserves #imagine their life together #a little peace of heaven #but no they have to suffer before that apparently #we can't have nice things in this household #smh/j #fitmc #pactw #qsmp fitmc #qsmp pactw #fitpac #hideduo

[theheirofthesharingan]

“Tell me, father, which to ask forgiveness for: what I am, or what I’m not?

Tell me, mother, which should I regret: what I became, or what I didn’t?”

- source

#i realized i almost never do anything with itachi and his parents so this one post is dedicated to them #the regret of killing them would have killed him before his actual death #what kind of child he was to raise a sword against his own parents? #his parents weren't even angry that he'd betrayed them at last #all the nightmares that would have followed him in which they hated him for everything and he would have no defense #who held him when he cried thinking of his mom? who comforted him when he choked on his tears thinking of his father's last words? #who was there for him when memories of his family became too much to handle and he would just collapse unable to breathe #maybe just maybe when the first symptoms of his illness showed he thought #that it was just one of his regular coughing fits that came with the onslaught of the memories of his parents #did he ever want to crawl back to sasuke and tell him how miserable he was and how much he missed their parents #where did the strength to be entirely indifferent and inhuman composure come to him #how much practice did it take? how many days? months? years? #did people around him ever suspect how much he was suffering? #all from thinking about his dead parents whom he killed #whose blood never left his tiny fingers and soaked into his flesh and blended into his own #how much misery was encapsulated into those expressionless features that never gave away even the slightest hint of pain #itachi uchiha #uchiha itachi #itachi #mikoto #mikoto uchiha #fugaku uchiha #fugaku

[uncanny-tranny]

I think it's only natural to feel anger when somebody isn't "taking your advice" or listening to you about their mental health or what will help them. People want to help people, and the anger comes when you are perceiving somebody as not being receptive but...

It can be a selfish impulse to say that your opinion about their illness is the only thing they need. It isn't about you, even though the advice you give is given by you.

Nobody deserves to suffer, this is true. But, also, nobody deserves to be forced to do things that either won't help or won't be genuine. If somebody isn't taking your advice, there's a reason for it (maybe it's not a good enough reason for you, but this isn't the point). It's okay to be disappointed or angry, but it's not going to help to lash out at them. That is only pouring water onto a grease fire.

#mental health #mental health advocacy #sometimes you DO need to freefall without a parachute. sometimes the 'just get better! ☺️' mindset that's given to us will slowly kill us #the whole 'if you take my advice you'll be free from your illness 😇' saviour complex is honestly something that would have killed me #because it wasn't coming from a place of genuinely helpfulness or what would work for *me*... #...those pieces of advice came from the mindset of how to make everybody else comfortable... #...because it minimized the fact that i was (am) fucking insane and unwell and ill and debilitated... #...the advice came across as sinister because it wasn't about me despite addressing my insanity. it was ABOUT everybody else #and i just got done watching a heartbreaking video about somebody else's decline and i don't want them to suffer... #...but i also don't want to be the cause OF their suffering. my advice for them would be unhelpful i think... #...so i am still heartbroken and sad and maybe angry but that... isn't their fault. they are SUFFERING and VISIBLY so... #...i want their suffering to end in any way that will actually help *them* and not my ego y'know...

[hanzajesthanza]

“what does geralt get from that friendship…”

another post examining the weight of geralt and dandelion’s friendship… because i don’t think people recognize how painful and debilitating loneliness can become.

the witcher as a deconstruction of the genre takes fantasy tropes to their most logical ends—it asks us to consider what The Lone Swordsman feels, looks into the humanity in a Cold-Blooded Killer. and it turns out he’s not cold-blooded at all.

that despite some superhuman abilities, he laments and worries and curses himself, just like any other worker of any other profession. just as the farmer is scorched by the sun, the washerwoman’s back aches, and the scholar goes half-blind studying, a witcher deals with all of the pains and annoyances and dangers of his job in a mundanely human way.

but the farmer, the washerwoman, and the scholar have something the witcher does not have—they’ll always be seen as human and part of their society. at the end of the day after enduring all of their labor, they have their wife to caress, festivities to attend, and taverns to frequent. but for a witcher? after the killing is over, what does he have? no one and nothing. not even a thank you. he is met with fear and hatred everywhere he goes, baseless bigotry and dislike.

I did my job. I quickly learned how. I’d ride up to village enclosures or town pickets and wait. If they spat, cursed and threw stones, I rode away. If someone came out to give me a commission, I’d carry it out.

so he faces not just loneliness, but being deliberately ostracized and cast out from society. geralt can’t even find a polite word in most settlements, much less a friend.

‘(…) Tell me, where should I go? And for what? At least here some people have gathered with whom I have something to talk about. People who don’t break off their conversations when I approach. People who, though they may not like me, say it to my face, and don’t throw stones from behind a fence. (…)’

this kind of loneliness is not a mere inconvenience. it’s completely altering to your self-perception and ability to see the positive in the world.

each day is not lived, but endured.

day in, and day out—forced to the most difficult and lowest labor in order to survive, and knowing that were you to die, no one would search for your body, few would miss you, hell, they might even spit “good riddance”.

in this situation, to find a friend, is not only friendship, but a rescue.

without dandelion, geralt may have drowned—drowned in solitude, amidst a sea of strangeness.

‘(…) And I’m alone, completely alone, endlessly alone among the strange and hostile elements. Solitude amid a sea of strangeness. Don’t you dream of that?’

No, I don’t, he thought. I have it every day.

because dandelion is not only a bright soul, characteristic rippling laughter and the strum of a lute, but someone who will intently listen to geralt, someone who mutually enjoys his company.

‘(…) you almost jumped out of your pants with joy to have a companion. Until then, you only had your horse for company.’

someone who doesn’t see him as strange and at the fringes of society at all, but as an utterly normal man.

and doesn’t impose demeaning, sappy sympathy onto him, but sobering and realistic “quit your bullshit” which ridicules the very thought that he should internalize societal hatred.

Do you know what your problem is, Geralt? You think you’re different. (…) [You don’t understand that] for people who think clear-headedly you’re the most normal man under the sun, and they all wish that everybody was so normal. What of it that you have quicker reflexes than most and vertical pupils in sunlight? That you can see in the dark like a cat? That you know a few spells? Big deal.

dandelion isn’t “willing” to accept geralt for himself—he already has accepted him. and to him, it’s no difficulty, it’s nothing worth discussing, because he sees no abnormality and no strangeness in him.

while others “prefer the company of lepers to witchers,” dandelion has already offered geralt to share his room and board. not out of sympathetic pity, not out of fetishizing curiosity. because… they’re friends.

and what else does this friendship save him from?

not only from others, but from himself.

worse than enduring others’ apathy and hatred is one’s own thoughts—the darkness and negativity which builds from witnessing and experiencing such behavior.

dandelion’s ability to counter and dispel geralt’s pessimism and self-flagellating tendencies—again, not out of pity, but out of friendship—is undeniably invaluable. someone to rescue you from your darkest thoughts, when you begin to spiral.

and in this darkness, all you can do is cry. you cry, beg for someone to help you, please—

Help! Why doesn't anyone help me? Alone, weak, helpless – I can't move, can't force a sound from my constricted throat. Why does no one come to help me? I'm terrified!

to be alone, the saga reminds us, is worse than a death sentence. to be alone is to “perish; stabbed, beaten or kicked to death, defiled, like a toy passed from hand to hand.” to be alone is to suffer, and to be with someone is to save them from that suffering.

'(…) I wouldn't like anything bad to happen to you. I like you too much, owe you too much-'

'You've said that already. What do you owe me, Yennefer?'

The sorceress turned her head away, did not say anything for a while.

'You travelled with him,' she said finally. 'Thanks to you he was not alone. You were a friend to him. You were with him.'

it is true that geralt has saved dandelion countless times, helped him, gotten him out of some scrape… but to ask what did geralt get in return? are you kidding me?

did you ever consider that it is dandelion who saved geralt?

by being with him. by being by his side. by being his friend.

indeed, dandelion has rescued geralt, countless times, from the yawning jaws of endless loneliness. he’s helped him, chased away the danger of geralt’s own rumination. and he’s gotten him out of scrapes, his own insecurities and bitter helplessness.

so what does dandelion give geralt? what does geralt get from their friendship?

an amusing question. what one gets from friendship is the friendship itself. and that is more than enough.

#the witcher books #gerlion #geralt of rivia #dandelion #jaskier #the parallels with ciri’s story makes me so emotional like… #ciri is just geralt but younger and alone. and thus she suffers so immensely #i included ciri’s nightmare because i think that’s how it feels to be alone #you just cry out ‘help! why won’t someone help me?’ and no one answers #and the funny bit is that everyone is like ‘ugh you cannot get RID of dandelion’ like #i think that’s the most comforting and relieving thing about him. he will never leave and abandon geralt. #there is nothing geralt *would* or *could* do to ever push him away #the kind of friendship where you never worry about being too ‘weird’ for them because they straight up dont care if youre weird #honestly idk how more people dont see them like this because i feel like loneliness is so pervasive right now #does everyone else just have this kind of best friend and for that reason take dandelion’s presence for granted #s: i want to be by your side #c: geralt #c: dandelion #excerpt #analysis #like. this is how it is: #the entire world: ‘you’re nothing you’re worthless and you’re inhuman’ #dandelion is NOT like ‘omgggg of course you are something 🥺🥺 pwease don’t think badly like that’ #no. he’s like ‘the hell? that’s the stupidest thing ive ever heard. why the hell are you even listening to that’ #dandelion has a kind of masculine energy that the fandom does not like lmao

[eliza1911o1]

MAPPA WHEN I SAY WE’RE COMING FOR YOU

#ice adolescence #genuinely crushed at the news of the movie’s cancellation (after years of baiting) #someone save YOI from this abusive/toxic relationship #how could you cancel a masterpiece like yuri on ice #you could have made history #victuuri in our hearts even if MAPPA won’t give it to us #yuri on ice s2 we will see you one day #grief #inhibiting culture #stay strong everyone #comforted we all feel the same #MAPPA tread carefully #maybe focus on making art not money? #how much more suffering can this world take? #maybe give the people what they want? #yuri on ice #victor nikiforov #animation #MAPPA #yuri katsuki #yuri plisetsky #anime

[secretmellowblog]

@breadvidence recently wrote a great bit of Les Mis meta where they pointed out how Jean Valjean’s “compliments” to Javert in Montreuil-sur-Mer really are just..... conciliatory flattery, and don't reflect his real feelings about Javert at all. And that's a great point, and something I wish more people explored! Lines like "you are a good man and I esteem you" aren't Jean Valjean's earnest feelings towards Javert. Instead they’re examples of the way Jean Valjean often retreats into excessive deferential politeness to authority as a survival strategy. As I mentioned in another recent post— Jean Valjean is a genuinely kind person, but he’s also someone who often has literally no choice but to act overly polite to authorities/the police, because if he’s not polite enough they might start to find him suspicious. If he doesn't lick their boots enough, they might start investigating him. He's instinctively deferential out of fear of violence. He's flattering out of fear. He's polite "at gunpoint." He's polite to cops the way you're polite to an armed police officer who pulls you over.

And Jean Valjean's polite tranquil behavior towards Javert during Javert's "resignation"— saying things like “you are a good man and I esteem you, I want you to keep your job” and etc etc— is later explicitly confirmed to be at least somewhat of a calculated tactical decision Jean Valjean made out of terror:

He was carried away, at first, by the instinct of self-preservation; he rallied all his ideas in haste, stifled his emotions, took into consideration Javert’s presence, that great danger, postponed all decision with the firmness of terror, shook off thought as to what he had to do, and resumed his calmness as a warrior picks up his buckler.

I love the phrase "he resumed his calmness as a warrior picks up his buckler"-- it's such a great way of summarizing how Jean Valjean's ability to have polite conversations even when he's breaking down internally has been such a useful defense mechanism for him. I also love the contrast between the excessively polite way Jean Valjean talks to Javert when he’s acting out of terror/self-preservation….vs the more honest way he talks about Javert when he’s alone during Tempest in a Skull:

“That Javert, who has been annoying me so long; that terrible instinct which seemed to have divined me, which had divined me—good God! and which followed me everywhere; that frightful hunting-dog, always making a point at me, is thrown off the scent, engaged elsewhere, absolutely turned from the trail: henceforth he is satisfied; he will leave me in peace; he has his Jean Valjean. Who knows? it is even probable that he will wish to leave town! And all this has been brought about without any aid from me, and I count for nothing in it!”

It's just extremely funny. The contrast between “you are a good man and I esteem you” vs “that Javert, who has been annoying me so long” <3 The contrast between “you are an honest man” vs “that frightful hunting dog” <3 The contrast between “I want you to keep your job” vs Jean Valjean fantasizing enthusiastically about how hopefully Javert will leave town and never ever annoy him again. <3

It makes the “Punish Me, Monsieur le Maire” stuff even funnier. Jean Valjean is dissociating out of panic and saying whatever polite platitudes he thinks will flatter Javert....but those polite platitudes keep making Javert spiral further into long-winded deranged rants about how he dESPISES this kindness and it enRAGES him, as Jean Valjean just sits there very politely & quietly losing his mind. It’s peak comedy really.

I feel like Jean Valjean’s deeply weird thing with Javert often gets flattened in different directions, when people interpret it. Either Jean Valjean is an all-forgiving all-loving angel who thinks Javert did nothing wrong, and all of his flattery is sincere expressions of admiration—- or Jean Valjean is (like in the BBC version) the kind of violent pitiless person who would angrily order Javert to kill himself. It's rare for writers to get anything resembling the hilariously baffling ambiguous Weirdness of his relationship with Javert in the book. I think it's because adaptations often don't grasp the idea that a genuinely kind compassionate character can also (underneath it all) still be deeply tormented, broken, and angry-- and that their anger doesn't mean they're any less kind, or any less capable of pity and mercy.

#is this coherent? #who knows #les mis #jean valjean #people might take this as me being anti valvert or whatever. but it is the opposite. it is a valvert post #this is Thee dynamic #the comedic potential #the hijinks that could ensue #also a tangentially related thing: #I think the thing that often puts me off a lot of valvert fics #is that I think most writers believe 'jean valjean being excessively kind to javert' would be a sign their relationship had *improved* #whereas to me its like #almost the opposite in a way? #I think maybe you would know Jean Valjean actually had a healthier dynamic with Javert #if he was comfortable enough to be angry with him or upset with him #without needing to be afraid that he'd suffer consequences for not being excessively respectful/deferential/ polite #and thats my hot take #like comment and subscribe! -dabs #read 'Annoyances' by secretmellowblog on Ao3

[simptasia]

my mum died last night

#i was with her. i spoke comforting words to her as her breathing slowed #she didn't suffer - she wasn't in any pain. she heard me and became slower and slower then i... saw her die #i never predicted i'd be there at the moment of death #it was her time. her body had been slowly shutting down the last three days and she'd been officially dying for 5 months #she was so strong. she was hanging on for me. needing to know i'd be able to survive with her gone #once it was clear that things were gonna be fine (besides the emotional toll) she started to truly let go #i've been with her whenever i could be the last three days. and night nurses watched her as i slept #last nights nurse woke me to be with her in her final moments #besides hearing me talk the last few days - i was also running star trek for her to listen to #she couldn't communicate or move but we all knew she was aware of things around her #i gave her words of reassurance and comfort and the last words she heard me say were ''i love you'' #and three days ago before she lost the ability to speak the last words she managed were ''i love you'' #so things went as well as they could be considering the situation #she died a little over 12 hours ago. it was 7 hours before they could take the body away. that was. haunting #it's been a rough day. worst day of my life. but mum is at peace now. and i have a lot of kind people to support me #everything will be okay eventually and i have my whole life ahead of me and mum wants that life to be good #so i musn't give up. now matter how depressed i feel

[scoobydoomidnightblue]

the other three monkees using poor mike and his big hands as a stim toy.

in the episode where micky does his werewolf impression mike just offers up his hand to be chewed in a way that makes me think that this happens often, and micky will sometimes ask to just chew on Mike’s hand as long as he promises to be “be gentle”

I think Davy does this too, but he doesn’t ask, he just sometimes grabs and starts biting because he’s a feral animal when he’s comfortable at home and Mike has to talk to him about that.

Overall I think Davy’s a little rough with Mike because he’s a selfish little thing that they spoil the hell out of, and unlike micky who sometimes just goes buck wild but feels bad about it, Davy just’ll grab Mike’s hands and start doing things like grabbing his fingers and straightening them and making him clap and shit with no shame because he just sometimes needs to take his toddler-energy out on something and Mike just sits there and lets it happen (i promise he lets davy know if it’s too much and Davy will listen) Davy has no shame when they’re at home and he doesn’t have a girl over or something and Mike lets him just do what he needs to do because it lets davy let loose a bit.

Peter plays with Mike’s hands but he’s more gentle than Davy, and he doesn’t bite though sometimes he’ll put Mike’s hand up and press it against his mouth because it feels good. He’s just overall more gentle about it and because Mike feels safe and comfortable.

sometimes Mike has peter and Davy both at once playing with his hands (micky’s a bit embarrassed that he sometimes needs to let out his energy on Mike so he tries to really only fiddle with Mike’s hands when he’s in hyper mode or stressed out) and the duality of energy is funny.

all of this happens when they’re sitting on the couch and Mike just has his personal time taken up with his three monkee kiddos.

#the monkees #mike nesmith #davy jones #peter tork #micky dolenz #tv!verse #this is TV SHOW MONKEES not real monkees!! #this is intense monkee-autism combo that is totally not just me projecting for comfort reasons #and I promise mike stims with the others too I just think about them all treating him like he’s their long-suffering mother a lot #davy takes advantage of this to the max and is a bit of a brat #but I just think about this a lot #i’m sorry if this is weird and nonsensical #and maybe i’m just projecting because I like mikes big chunky hands and would like to use them as stim toys just maybe that’s it #but i just wanted to get this out because it sits in my brain and the monkees are my comfort vehicles #i project all of my lonely wants for connection onto these four boys who are so comfortable with each other

[byebaicai]

Soooo....I'm distilling my angst into art again so everyone can suffer with meeeeee

But, like, imagine if Crowley found a statue of Aziraphale like Michael's, but it's inside a church? ( ̶M̶a̶y̶b̶e̶ ̶e̶v̶e̶n̶ ̶i̶n̶ ̶t̶h̶e̶ ̶c̶h̶u̶r̶c̶h̶ ̶t̶h̶a̶t̶ ̶g̶o̶t̶ ̶r̶e̶b̶u̶i̶l̶t̶ ̶a̶f̶t̶e̶r̶ ̶t̶h̶e̶ ̶B̶l̶i̶t̶z̶) God, the delicious religious trauma 💔

Also very extremely normal about this song being something that he listens to in canon

#hopefully someone better at art will take this idea and do it actual justice lol #apologies in advance for the suffering #definitely not lying in bed all day listening to hozier on loop and drawing my feels #all hurt no comfort #i draw sometimes #good omens #good omens 2 #ineffible husbands #it's ineffable #azicrow #aziraphale #aziracrow #crowley #crowly x aziraphale #go #go2 spoilers #good omens spoilers #good omens 2 spoilers #good omens fanart #good omens fandom #take me to church #hozier #anthony j crowley #religion #religous trauma #religous imagery #neil gaiman #michael sheen #david tennant

[bluegarners]

what if i told you robin IS a performance and is much harder than being batman....

#and other things everyone already knows but i LOVE to state the obvious #idk you try smiling and cracking jokes and bearing the weight of being the only light in a crushing darkness #that follows you everywhere you go AND also be a kid at the same time #with some kind of tragedy in your heart from even before you were taken in #and your only source of comfort is the big mansion and the dank cave and the TWO also traumatized people within it #and youre not allowed to talk about any of this shit to anyone else and you have to go to school and get A's on your tests #and generally LOOK like youre happy- ecstatic even- to be living with bruce wayne or else child services is going to take you away #and possibly put you in an even worse situation #peace and love but i think i would have gone insane and try to kill batman for being all gloomy when I am the one suffering for it

[spoopieere]

“Comfort”

Everything’s the same colour in your bedroom. I can’t even see you when the light shines in. I just know you’re in there, somewhere. And I don’t bother to look anymore.

——————————————————————————>

Preston and his peculiar bedtime quirks :)

Click for better quality.

(Pls zoom in and see all the details, I worked so hard on em-)

#slasher #slashers #chromeskull #laid to rest #jesse cromeans #Preston #preston laid to rest #crosses #jesse cromeans/preston #Preston is my fav chew you #I love himb sm #he’s like my son #I love making him suffer and gets comforted in the end #not here #not yet #but soon #Jesse’s mean as always #he’s the bf I won’t let my teenage son date #or take him to prom

[beeholyshit]

I'm so emotional rn

#(🍰) *⁠.⁠✧ — Maroon #(☆) ｡⁠.ﾟ— Red #pokespe parents #time for me to ramble in tags #I can't believe what they did to Bill. I was so worried when I SAW HIM ON THE FLOOR ALL COVERED IN BLOOD #THAT'S RED'S BIG BROTHER NO ONE CAN TOUCH HIM PLEASE PLEASE #this is my way of copinwiuughhgouh #Bill's also my son I never mention it but I keep him in my heart #pats his head #the same reason why Maroon visits him on the hospital to take care of him #also because I believe that when the kids turned into stone Bill was there for her all the time and was also the one who told her- #-what happened and all the things Red kept as a secret (because he cares about both of them) #checking on her while she was DEPRESSED #I know I never talked properly about that but it hurted me so much I WILL ONE DAY BUT OUGHHG #anyways #going back to Red #you have no idea how much I missed my sweet baby. I saw him and started crying #he is my biggest comfort you have no idea how much I suffer when I see him sufder ougjhg #I'M GONNA START CRYING AGAIN #I just needed to make 10000 doodles of smoo tiny bebe #iwiwiw #🖍️ —⁠ Silly doodles #pokespe #pokemon special

[vergil-losing-archive]

I want one of those tiny Vergil beans so bad....

#be honest with me how much did y'all pay for it? #and also HOW did you get one #I am suffering #in a month I'll have to take a train everyday to go to school and I want to bring him with me so bad #vergy+ #I need a comfort item that I can hold in my hand

[lavndvrr]

YALL I THINK I HAVE THIS THING CALLED MALADAPTIVE DAYDREAMING AND APPARENTLY ITS A PROBLEM

#maladaptive daydreaming #maladapting daydreaming disorder #maladaptive coping #leo valdez #taking this because I’m imagining him all the time #like imagining him suffering and then my ocs comforting him #do I have a problem? #yes #it’s fun tho #real like sucks #who wants to deal with that when I can daydream my problems away #;)

[luvsavos]

i am once again apologizing for my lack of activity/responsiveness

my childhood cat passed away a few days ago which has just been more stuff on top of everything else for me to deal with to stress me out and upset me

i'll try to get back to stuff. Eventually. as soon as i can</3

#mar.txt #still very much upset about losing him，but it's kind of faded for numbness now #still not holding up great though especially considering how sudden it was #he was all fine and healthy and then just suddenly started to rapidly go downhill and within like. two days he was gone #he was so weak. couldn't move almost at all，his meows were barely just meow-sounding exhales. the last two things he did were #getting my attention so i would come to him，then attempted to crawl onto my lap and despite me being less than a foot away he couldn't make #it. so i brought him onto my bed on my lap with me. and then at some point later after another sudden onset of diarrhea (which seemed to #take absolutely all of his remaining strength) and i'd brought him back to my bed after cleaning the poop off of him he got my attention to #move his head so he could look up at me. and that's how he passed. looking up at me. #despite everything，he was purring. so weak and faint i could hardly feel it，but. he was purring，maybe until the moment he finally passed. #he was obviously suffering. and we couldn't afford to get someone to put him down so we just did what we could for him. #i'm glad that，at least，he was happy in his final moments. he wanted to be with me and i'm glad i could give him that. i HAD needed to go out #that day but i opted to stay home because i was worried he'd pass while i was gone. sure enough if i had gone out he would have. #i'm glad i could give him the comfort and company he wanted in his final moments. i'm glad i made him happy enough in them to purr even #despite how weak he was. i'm glad he didn't pass alone and possibly in pain. #ive lost a lot of pets in my life. but amos? he's only like. three years younger than me? we practically grew up together. ive known him his #entire life. no amount of being told it hurts to lose a childhood pet will ever compare to the reality of it happening. #i buried him outside my window. so he's close to home. #vent post? i guess?