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lady-eny · 2 years

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TITLE: ON THE NATURE OF DUTY (17/17) COMPLETED!

Some tags: AU - Spies & Secret Agents, Enemies to Lovers, Action, Canon-Typical Violence, Minor Mikenana, Minor Zekehan, Minor Character Death, Reincarnation.

Summary:

In another life, they meet again. But what if instead of comrades, they find themselves as enemies?

Levi, Eldia’s best agent, lives to fulfill his duty. Yet, as he teams up with his enemies to save the world, he begins losing sight of it. Despite reminding himself how much he hates Hange—the marleyan star analyst—being around her makes him question everything he believed true.

He can’t prevent his brain from scrambling at her mere presence, ever closer. Perhaps it’s that he recognizes her from a long time ago…

CROSS-POSTING ON: AO3

Other Chapters: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 Notes: So.. here we are, at the end of yet another journey **gets emotional**

Thanks for reading this entire fic. It means a lot. I really wanted to give a second change to our favorite couple. They deserved it, but of course they had to overcome some things and let some others settle before that.

Hope y’ll have a great day, week, year. Take care✨

Chapter 17

“Hey… Four eyes.”

He stepped in, feeling the world around him craving in.

She pasted a weird smile over her mouth, trying to act all cheerful. “You understand. It’s finally here, you know?... It’s my turn. I want to look as cool as I possibly can right now. So just… Let me go, will you?”

His heart clenched within his chest, his eyes losing any light they could have contained before. He stared down at his useless hands. He couldn’t do anything, less when she was asking him to do nothing. As always, his heart was first in no one’s prioritizing list—not his, not hers.

For both, their duty was the owner of the top place and would always be.

Wouldn’t it?

Levi’s head is gradually killing him—that, or he’s already dead. His luck is such that perhaps even dead he won’t stop hurting, so that would make perfect sense. Likely, it’s the former instead of the latter; this pain is all too familiar. He recognizes the neat and worn scanty surface beneath his fingers, as he’s laid on it a hundred times hitherto. The constant beep of a monitor, the lemon whiff he inhales with every breath, and the arctic air chilling his bones (whoever thought a thin gown was enough to protect from the air conditioner was an idiot).

All this proves what he knew the moment he regained conscience.

He’s in the hospital.

Knowing that, Levi doesn’t open his eyes, too drained by the ache behind his eyelids. He knows what he’ll see at first glance, anyway: bright and blinding fluorescent lighting—capable of boosting his headache by an extra thousand percent. His muscles are sore, his shoulder and side numbed, and his throat burns. He must have been pretty bad, because upon waking up, he’s usually in better shape.

What happened? Images mingle in his mind and vanish. Hange in danger, he trying to save her, promising her to remain alive… blankness. He got hurt, then? Did he save her? Is she alive?

Minutes go by, but the pain doesn’t decrease.

I’ll stay here for a while, Levi muses, so there’s no point in delaying the inevitable.

He opens his eyes back to reality and winces at the explosion of enlightenment. He blinks rapidly to adjust. The view he encounters is not different from his expectations. White ceiling, white walls, white bed—as if someone had shitted white paint and sprinkled it on every corner.

At the fore of his bed, on a desk, a blond man is reading a stack of papers.

“Such a nice place to work,” Levi tries to say—emphasis on tries, as his words come out as a squawk. He clears his throat, but he continues sounding raspy in his next attempt. His hand stretches to a water glass on the side table and he takes a sip. The water sliding down his throat feels like the hit of ice spikes through his tract. Yet it does help him regain his natural speech. “How… What happened?”

Erwin doesn’t answer, abstracted by his work as he is. He puts a pen on his ear in a clumsy way Levi’s never seen from him before. Dark bags hang under his eyes and his hair is disheveled, also a new look to Levi. It births an unsettling churn in his stomach. For Erwin to look like this, Levi can only imagine the worst possible scenario. Zeke won…. The attacks happened… Global chaos…

Hange dead.

Levi can’t handle any more silence. “Erwin,” he calls, piercing the subject of his attention with his eyes, until the other man sighs and sets the papers down.

“The threat was neutralized,” Erwin tells him, and Levi’s glare loses its fang. “Zeke Yeager is in jail, and we’ve dismantled most of Tybur’s cameras and devices from around the globe. We also captured most of the people in their headquarters and are trying to discover the infiltrators in the governments, Eldia’s included. Some run away, but they don’t have anywhere to go and everyone is seeking them out. We’ll find them.”

He assimilates the information. The most important unknown is at the edge of his tongue… He can’t make himself throw it out. Levi chooses to ask a simpler question, instead.

“Tybur was…?”

“We are aware of his crimes, but he’s extremely powerful. We can’t do anything big against him now, but he won’t be able to restart the previous organization for the time being.”

Levi swallows the limp in his throat. The effort only makes his head spin, and the lump tighter. “That’s good,” he says, strained. “Did any civilian die?”

Erwin shakes his head and returns to work with a frown. If that’s true, why does Erwin look so troubled? Why is he so clearly overworked and tired? Levi supports his weight with his arms and sits upright, flinching at the blaze of pain that shoots through his side. The bead creaks as he adjusts his position.

“Take it easy,” Erwin advises. Never glancing up from his papers, he lifts his index finger. “Before you ask, your friend was deported to Marley.”

He wasn’t about to ask that, exactly, but that does answer his actual question. She’s alive. Relief sinks him deeper into the bed.

Erwin continues, “As far as I know, she infiltrated the organization’s server and obtained data about their other bases. That’s how we’ve found and captured most of them.”

Of course she did. Levi fights the corners of his mouth, which are kicking upward.

It’s over. The mission, the global threat. They more or less succeeded. And now…

“Did the war between Marley and Eldia resume?”

Erwin leans back on the chair and looks at the large window covered by blinds. Not even a hint of light seeps in from them.

“Yes.” The lonely word overwhelms the room with a stinky odor.

Levi wrinkles his nose. “I see.”

It could mean a lot of things. Levi hoped all the recent death would pacify the sparkle of conflict between the two nations, but from the look on Erwin’s face… Does this mean they’re back into their original positions, as before this mission? Like nothing transpired?

His body turns much heavier, making a hole in the bed. Memories flash in his head. He, going from city to city—a figure in motion without a soul, going through circumstances he never wants to repeat. The face of the people he’s killed, the debris and screams from the innocent after the bombings. Hange’s voice when she told him about her family.

His mother.

How to forgive Eldia for causing so much harm? The idealized version of his country no longer exists, along with the idea of its safety justifying every action taken against those who don’t share the same place of birth. It remains the place he’s grown into, though—the one that saw his mother born and die, even when its puppeteers are the ones who orchestrated her death. The one he’s dedicated his entire life to. Can he give it his back? More so, can he rely on his people once more, knowing what he does?

He watches Erwin warily until the other man catches sight of his gaze. He taps his papers into order and interrupts Levi’s inner turmoil. “You don’t trust me.”

No need to deny the obvious. “No, I don’t.”

“Will you ever trust me again?”

“I don’t think so.” Trust is hard to build; but once lost, it’s virtually impossible to recover.

Erwin winces. “We’re a team. For our work, you should make an effort to overcome the past.”

“Do you think we’ll keep working together? Our superiors won’t return me under your care after what I did. They’ll say you can’t handle me.”

“It will end soon, either way.”

“Pardon?”

Erwin exhales. “There have been talks. I guess even Pixis is tired, and the increase in the power of the WCO over the public following this event is something to take into account. If things keep heading this way, we might get a peace treaty soon. Or not. Nothing’s yet been stated, it’s just the mood.” Erwin folds his arms onto his chest and presses his lips into a line.

That’s… excellent news, actually. Sure, it could get to nothing, still, it’s better than how things were a mere week ago, when peace was unthinkable.

“Why aren’t you content?”

Erwin has devoted his entire life, his every minute and breath, to this war. To Eldia. Levi expected relief from him; in its place, he’s emanating waves of frustration. The last time they thought the war was over—when Levi resigned—Erwin wasn’t pleased, but neither angry. Just… lost.

“Marie left me.” Erwin rubs his temples. “She said… She said I’m never around. That I should have married the war.”

“But the war is ending, isn’t it? You can talk to her. You guys always fix it.”

“No.” Erwin bobs his head. “She doesn’t want to come back this time, and… she has someone else now. Besides, I don’t know what she’d come back for. What am I, without the war?”

Levi stirs on the bed, the sadness in Erwin’s words too massive for him to completely grasp. For the first time maybe, he regards the man at his front quite plainly. The wrinkled ends of his clothes—which years ago used to be flawless—are Erwin’s current fixation. He smooths and smooths and smooths his sleeves. They don’t seem to be able to straighten again.

“You’re Erwin Smith, before and after the war. It doesn’t define you.”

Erwin nods, but closes his eyes, discarding Levi’s words as soon as they come. Erwin has always been so strong; capable of altering history, in his past life and this one. The first source of Levi’s purpose and a friend. But he’s also been consumed by his goals, so badly that, without them… What’s left? He’ll have to find himself over again or perhaps discover a new dream to chase.

“Maybe the negotiations will fail,” Erwin says to himself. “I always pictured how the world would be without war, wanted it, and now… Peace is amazing, but is it true peace if we don’t win? A treaty is like claiming a tie, and we wouldn’t be making them pay for all the hurt, all the dead…” Erwin winces. “There’s always the future. People won’t stop hating each other for a paper. The future may bring more war, sooner than later.”

Lost in a purpose. If Levi continues on this road, will he look like Erwin, later on? Devoted to the point of obsession to a single thing so damn much, that he lost everything else on the way, even himself?

Levi outstretches his hands, wanting to help the person he used to consider his best friend—but is there something he could do? He drops them and looks at his helpless hands. Even in the past, Erwin couldn’t overcome his desire for a greater purpose, neglecting the people who loved him around from time to time. He doesn’t know how to change that.

The unique thing Levi’s certain of is that he doesn’t want to be like this his entire life… But despite his best wishes, he’ll probably be.

Won’t he?

***

Levi’s injuries are sluggish to recover.

A couple of months go by in a spiral of tasteless hospital food, muscles aching from spending so much time restricted on a bed, and a pool of anxiety getting more and more loaded with every passing day. He still hasn’t been able to contact Hange.

Like everything does, his stay in the colorless room ends. The day to get released from the hospital ultimately arrives, wherein his body is indeed healthier, if overflowed by stress.

Levi opens his apartment door with a creak, flips on the lights, and takes it all in from the doorway. It’s startling to find it looking the same, which is, of course, a rather illogical thing to feel. Why would it have changed? Yet, he feels as it should have. All in all, it does feel different—the gray carpet, furniture, and walls seem opaque, and the stillness overly disturbing. Empty, in a way.

He takes a deep breath in. It remains his place, so he better gets used to it again. He tosses his bag onto the sofa and shuffles to the kitchen, where he selects the sweetest tea of his collection, puts some water to boil, and brews it. He takes out his phone and, with no hesitation whatsoever, dials a number he’s been calling a little too much these last few weeks.

Mike’s face projects from his phone, the bluish light making his skin look ill—not to mention the addition of a cast on his arm, which truly shows his still weakened state. Levi places the phone on the countertop.

“Ackerman. I was wondering where you were.” Mike takes a look at Levi’s surroundings. “Did you finally escape the hospital?”

“Barely.” Levi places his steaming cup on the countertop and sits. “How’s the arm?”

“Healing and resting happily.” Mike sniffs a plate, then smiles and takes a spoon of its content. It appears to be soup. “Not everyone is a workaholic super-agent like you. Most of us do like vacations and free time.”

Levi’s elbow slides forward on the countertop, his chin in hand. “Maybe I should do it someday…”

“No time like the present.” At Levi’s lack of reply, Mike adds, “So, you’re embarking on another mission soon?”

Possibly. Before being discharged from the hospital, Erwin told him he expects Levi to return to his duty as soon as possible, and interpreted Levi’s silence as an affirmative response. His guts tangle unpleasantly upon merely thinking about going into one again, and yet…

“Have you heard from her?” Levi changes the subject to one they always end up discussing anyway.

Mike takes a spoonful of soup into his mouth. Chews and swallows, taking his pretty time doing it, probably aware of how fidgety Levi is as he waits for his answer.

“I did.”

That’s new. Levi straightens. “What did she say? Will she call me?”

“I didn’t talk with her, personally. I talked with Nifa. She told me Hange’s doing well, she’s just been engrossed in all the work, chasing The Orions and attending meetings with Pieck about Eldia, etc.” Mike catches Levi’s eyes. “She’s not purposely avoiding you.”

“Right.” Levi’s fingernail picks at a weird stain glued to the countertop. He should undertake a profound cleaning session soon. “She’s just too busy to give someone a one-minute call.”

“You should know she’s always like this. She disappears. Keeps her distance,” Mike says. Obviously, Levi knows, mostly from what he’s heard. It’s possible the problem is he expected otherwise, believing she’d realize she doesn’t have to, not anymore. That, with his recovery, he proved she isn’t guilty of the deaths surrounding her. Or at least, that he allowed her to take a step closer to letting that go. Guess not. “You aren’t either.”

“What?”

“Calling her directly anymore,” Mike explains.

Well, no. Even he understands what so many unanswered rings imply. “I surmised that if she wanted to, she’d have called me back a long time ago.” But she hasn’t. Isn’t that enough of an answer? “How’s Shadis?”

Mike leans back. “Still healing in the hospital. He’ll be alright. Last time we talked, he was ecstatic because Hange had paid him a visit.”

“Oh. That’s good.” They shouldn’t, but the words taste bitter on his tongue. Perhaps she let go of her misconception of being a danger to her loved ones. Perhaps she did with everyone except Levi. Not that he minds it.

At all.

Half of Mike’s mouth tilts into a smile. “I know her, Hange must have her motives. She’ll come back to you… eventually.”

“Whatever.” Levi shrugs. He doesn’t care about it. He merely wanted to make sure she was okay, which he just got verification of. Now he can stop trying to reach her out and respect her evident desire to ignore him. Finished topic.

“If you say so.” Mike holds the plate in his hands, tilts it, and sips the last of the soup. “Did you watch that movie I told you about?”

“Gak. I did, thanks for the waste of time. I’m nothing like that Tom character.”

“Oh, come on! You even talk like him! You constructed your entire personality based on his demeanor, I’m sure. The weird part is he’s a favorite among the ladies, and well, you…” Levi nearly chokes on a sip of tea and lifts an irritated eyebrow. Mike lets out a laugh. “Sorry, kidding. Nana used to say…” He trails off, and his gaze gets lost somewhere far away, as it tends to do.

Levi, as he also tends to do when Mike behaves like this, uses the companionable silence to ruminate. What is he doing next? Even when Erwin’s orders of coming back to work sound so dreadful, what else is he supposed to do? He still wants to help his people, as they’re innocent of their leaders’ wrongdoings. Moreover, he has nothing in his life except what he’s done in its entirety; what he’s done even in his past life. Serving. Fighting. Following orders.

Dedicating his heart to humanity.

In the end, though, what difference does it make what he does? Are the past and the present any different? What has he accomplished by relentlessly fighting?

Nothing.

Therefore, what’s the point of it all?

“What would you do if I told you nothing we do matters? That regardless of how hard we try, nothing will change. That we’re in a perpetual cycle of death and destruction with no way out, and we have zero control over anything.”

Mike looks at him oddly, as if afraid he developed scales overnight. Levi deduces he sounded way more fatalist than usual.

“That would be a lot to take in,” Mike starts, “but I’d keep eating my soup, watch another movie before sleeping, and prepare to return to work next week just like I was going to do before hearing that.”

Levi thinks about it. Basically, he’d do the same without a care.

“But without Nana,” Mike keeps going, “returning to work feels too hard. Maybe it’s time I retire and try something else…”

“Would that be okay?”

“Why not? Change is good. Doing something new doesn’t mean you’re neglecting the past, you know? You’re just moving on for your own sake.”

“Yes, but…” Something about it makes Levi feel uneasy. “You’re one of the best agents. Wouldn’t that be—?”

“Selfish?” Mike finishes for him. And yes. That’s exactly what Levi was, deep inside, thinking. Mike gives him a knowing smile. “Possibly. Yet I believe our greatest duty is, first and foremost, with ourselves.”

By the time they swap goodbyes, Levi’s too tired to notice the unbearable calmness of his apartment. He moves to his balcony and lets the door snick shut behind him. The night has crept on the sky since he returned, the air getting as cold as every time he’s come here seeking energy to go through.

He slouches into his green recliner, unlocks his cellphone, and goes straight to social media. Reading through a few posts, he stumbles upon a Joan The Slayer’s spoiler that stops his heart.

Randy… no!

His first impulse is to tell Hange about it, but… Right, he can’t talk to her. He rubs a hand over his chest, feeling the claws of longing closing around his heart and eliciting a kind of ache he’d never been familiar with. In this life, at least.

He got to see her again. However, isn’t it unfair how they’re still torn apart? His past life was all about his duty and this is no different. In the past, though, which other option did he have? They were at the literal end of the world, with humankind at stake. Now… Things aren’t that straightforward. He isn’t the same. Back then he wasn’t aware of how everything would be despite his sacrifices. He didn’t know how dark and flavorless the world would be due to her absence.

Levi stares up at the hidden stars, concealed by the grayish clouds. He’s so tired—tired of death, of being the one who exerts it to hurt others. Of prioritizing the greater good above his own. He recalls the last years of his current life, the constant coming and going, the numbness of it all. How he kept losing more of his warmth with every kill, because he was killing himself too. Little by little.

Talks about ending this conflict have reached the ears of the general population with mixed opinions. Levi wishes he could step into a room, click a button, and end it all. But he alone can change nothing, that much he does know. Worse, he no longer knows what to do with himself. What’s his purpose?

He is drifting through an uncontrollable, unknown future. And he’s scared. Overwhelmed. Sad. The emotions are so strong they oppress his chest until they prevent the entry of oxygen. He focuses on the stars to anchor himself, those flashing and distant points. In the solid chair beneath him, the fabric gently caressing his skin. In the thick but cool wind against his cheeks and the faint but recognizable scent of traffic, of car exhausting gas.

In the nothingness of everything.

And a notion settles firmly within himself, amongst the out-of-control chaos driving him to panic. It’s true. Nothing he does carries meaning, because in the end it all comes to the same thing—whereas destruction or death. And yet. And yet it does matter, because it matters to him, because he gives it meaning. In that sense, what’s ultimately important are his actions. What he’s done and what he’ll do.

So what will he do?

Saving people, a country, the world. These are good things—no one could argue otherwise. Still, shouldn’t there be more? Maybe, just maybe… Sacrifices are overly glorified.

Levi wants to do good. He does. But he wants to be happy as well, without having to lose more and more parts of himself performing what some people consider ‘things for the greater good’. He doesn’t want to give up the smiles of the ones he loves for more time, and while he doesn’t dare to claim knowledge on the reason he’s here, or what here even is…Shouldn’t this life be a second chance?

History doesn’t need repetition.

Yet, does he possess enough force to give his back to everything he’s known?

Could he be selfish for once in his whole existence?

***

The hallway is brimming with politicians, diplomats, and various ambassadors. They all look so much alike that, to Levi’s eyes, they’re practically clones, with their pristine dark tailored suits, their heads buried in their phones, and their haircuts and mustaches sharing an identical style. Anyone claiming eldians and marleyans are abysmally different should take a look into this room.

Levi leans back onto a wall, at the furthest and most secluded side of the hall—not for tiredness or his health. He’s entirely capable of standing upright, but his energy isn’t currently present. Erwin wanted to show him off as the savior of the world to the WCO visitors, but he solely agreed to attend expecting to meet someone. The faint hope that Hange would come—as she’s the main voice behind these negotiations—is slowly fading. No one but those strutting peacocks is around, talking as if it was a gift, being allowed to hear them out.

“It’s starting,” Erwin tells him.

And Levi wants nothing but to return to his place and sleep for an entire day.

Erwin sits around a massive square table, and Levi follows suit. Lines are clear enough; at one side, with their backs to the clouded light of the picture window covering most of the wall, eldians glare at the marleyans, who return the look with equal force from their front. Then you have the WCO people, looking uncomfortable in the hostile environment.

Not Levi. He’s arms-crossed in the middle of it all, his sight on his cup of tea. He couldn’t care less about the mute aggressions. After nodding to Mike—who just arrived with the WCO guys—he begins mentally recounting every pending task for his upcoming cleaning session. Buy more cleaning supplies, look for a product that removes soot…

“Let’s begin,” the marleyan Queen’s ambassador states; he’s a man with sunken eyes, glasses, and gray hair. “We found your response lacking…”

Levi’s mind disconnects and wanders to other topics. Soon, he must have a conversation with Erwin about his missions, although he doesn’t know what to tell him yet, or if he’ll be capable of doing so. Only that sitting on the side of the people who ordered the death of millions—including his mother—makes him nauseous. And following their decisions once again, more so.

The doors slam open. Everyone’s heads raise at the noise, including Levi’s.

“Ahh… You already started. Sorry for the delay! Something about me having been deported before.”

Hange strides in with a stack of papers under her armpit. And she is… the same. Levi drinks her in, from her messy ponytail to the beads of sweat on her forehead. Her round thin-framed glasses, the green military suit she’s wearing, the apparent clumsiness of her movements while taking a seat in front of him.

Right. In front. Of him.

His spine straightens up and he clutches his cup, forcing his breaths to ease his heartbeats. It’s like he was previously starved, and now he’s full—a sensation that makes him a little self-conscious, to say the least.

Careless of the silence of the room, Hange arranges her papers in front of her. Tilts her gaze up to meet his unwavering one. And she smiles—and what a smile it is. It spreads from her mouth to her eyes and skin and posture. If he held any doubts about how she was going to react to seeing him again, they suddenly evaporate. His breath frees itself from his chest, deflating him but leaving him feeling giddy and light. Without his permission, his mouth mirrors her smile.

“Ahem,” the Queen’s ambassador utters. “May we proceed?”

Hange blinks and shakes her head. “Of course! Zackly, where were you?”

So they continue, coming back to discuss the future of their countries. And once again, Levi doesn’t listen to a single word until the room increases its pitch and he has no other option but to pay attention.

From the head of the table, Pixis steeples his hands at his fore. “It’s outrageous! How do you expect us to agree?”

“How is giving back our spacial station outrageous? It was ours in the first place,” Hange retorts with fire in her eyes. She thereafter goes ahead talking about the most convenient approaches for both nations, making herself heard and shutting down the others’ arguments. Levi doesn’t think he’s ever met someone so expressive and clever, yet good-natured at the same time. It might be an effect of the yellowish light from the lamps scattered across the table, but while speaking her mind, she appears to be glowing.

The meeting extends for another two hours. Two hours of Levi getting butt numb and filling himself with the view of someone he never anticipated to miss scarcely months ago.

“We are taking a break,” an old man next to Pixis says. “Ten minutes.”

Everyone raises to their feet and approaches the door. Upon crossing the threshold with Pixis and his retinue, Erwin shoots him a sideways glare. Mikes gives him a thumbs-up before going out with his coworkers, and shortly, the room is empty. Except for them.

Levi stands up and loosens his uncomfortable tie while Hange gathers her papers together, looking flustered.

“I didn’t expect to see your shitty glasses here,” Levi says, chewing the lie. “How… How have you been?” Why haven’t you called me back?

“Just… busy.” She rocks on her heels and moves to the picture window, which shows the suddenly dazzling and almost blinding sunlight. “Like you, I suppose. How are your wounds? I was afraid they were lying to me and you weren’t fine at all. But you are. Haha.” She hugs the stack of papers against her chest. Folds and unfolds the tip of the last sheet with her fingers.

“You asked about me?”

“Well, yes,” she says as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

“I’ve called you,” he discloses, trying really hard not to make it sound like an accusation, and totally failing. He wipes his damp palms on his pants to avoid the impact of his words up front. “They said you were out of reach.” He shoves his hands into his pants pockets. “And then I talked with Mike, who said you weren’t answering him either. I thought…” You weren’t talking only to me. “… we wouldn’t meet again.” An oddly depressing idea.

“I thought I should give you some time.” She switches her weight from one foot to the other. “You got hurt because of me, and… Shadis is alright, by the way. Recovering just fine.”

“That’s good to hear.”

“It is.” Hange nods many times. “Actually, I came here to talk to you.” She sighs. “I didn’t know you were going to come here, though, so I’m unprepared. I hoped they’d let me out enough time to go looking for your place after the meeting.” She lowers her head. “I was being over-optimistic. I ain’t allowed out of this building and must go straight to my hotel and then to the airport tomorrow. You’d think teaming with them in the past would soften them, but…”

He nods, knowing his people all too well. She sneaked from their view once, after all. War or peace, they won’t take any more risks that pertain to her.

“That I got hurt wasn’t your fault…” He begins, but his eyes widen after replaying her words. “How did you know I live here?”

“Oh, isn’t it obvious? Err—maybe not. You live on the south coast and must be in constant communication with Erwin, who lives here… in this city on the south coast… which is also the center of many government buildings…” She jerks a shoulder. “Quite easy.”

“If you put it like that…”

Hange encounters his eyes. “I wanted to tell you— I know things have been weird and that we still have a long way to go as countries. Our nations continue to be in not-the-best-of-terms, but… I was wondering if you’d want to… I don’t know. Meet me in the middle and get to know me better? Nothing big, just go out with me like, someday?”

Levi’s muted, any possible reply stuck in his paralyzed throat.

Her face falls. “You don’t want to.” She plasters a smile over her face, yet her eyes glint with disappointment. “Of course, I understand. It’s fine. Even if the conflict ends, it’s not like eldians will suddenly want to trade hugs with a vicious marleyan, right? So I’ll just… go.” She tosses her thumb over her shoulder. Her smile grows bitter. “… See you later.”

No… I can’t let her go again. His body reacts before his brain, and he reaches out for her hand, taking hold of it at the last second. She turns back at him, expectant.

“Four-eyes, I—”

“It’s time,” a man announces, clapping from the doorway.

The meeting attendees pour back into the room, bringing the noise from their conversations with them. Hange bites her lower lip and lets go of his hand before coming back to the table. His heart shrinks while looking at her shape drifting away. He retakes his previous seat; at his front, Hange keeps rolling a piece of paper between her fingers, purposefully avoiding his gaze.

It’s not like he doesn’t want to. It’s only… terrifying. He never allowed himself to truly consider the possibility, and now… Can he?

Not if he stays working as an eldian agent.

If they never sign a treaty, he might be sent to attack and sabotage her people again. Even if they do agree on peace, nothing guarantees they won’t keep trying to have the upper hand in other aspects—that’s how the ones possessing this kind of power work, using people like him as insignificant pawns in their schemes. To this day, they’ve guarded the safety of his people, and that’s why he worked for them—or he thought they did. Recalling his mother’s death, it’s evident they haven’t done that, not when it didn’t align with their interests. But giving his back to what his mother stood for... It’s not easy.

His entire life, he’s been doing what his duty demands, other people always knowing best what that entailed. He doesn’t want to do that anymore, to perform what his duty as a soldier or as an agent demands because of the greater good. To waste yet another day stuck in this never-ending loop of duty and hate and death. He craves to choose himself, if only once.

Levi succeeds at catching Hange’s hazel eyes and holds them. He’s seen some of her worst moments and she’s seen his. And still, despite every flaw he’s able to point out, he only finds her breathtaking. When did she even start crawling underneath his skin? He gives her a faint smile, and hesitantly, she returns it, the way she invariably does.

In essence, she’s the same Hange Zoe she’s always been, and he refuses to think of a future without her ever again. Not for another meaningless war, nor for a duty for which he already devoted his whole life once.

The meeting ends with the accord of maintaining an indefinite calm and keep trying to come to a treaty. The results don’t improve a lot, but it’s nevertheless a step forward. With both parts open to it, Levi hopes it’s bound to happen.

Erwin moves in the direction of the press conference about to start, in which they’ll inform the world of the results of the meeting.

“Erwin,” Levi shouts, his voice steady regardless of his racing heart palpitations. He straightens his tie. When he has Erwin’s attention, he informs him, “I… I’m retiring.”

Erwin snaps his head to him. “Excuse me?”

“Even if the war continues, I won’t be here for it. I want to be out.”

“You can’t—”

“Why not?

The sole thought of resuming his missions has his insides quivering in anxiety. Reluctance overwhelms him, and he clenches the hems of his suit to hold himself into place. He will no longer be part of this war. He won’t fight Hange. He refuses to be her enemy or a weapon used against innocent people ever again.

“The war isn’t over and I thought you wanted to end it. Eldia needs you.”

“I’ve done enough for Eldia and nothing for myself… I think it’s time I do it.”

And I can’t do this any longer. I won’t survive. He deserves a life devoid of death and fights and blood. Even if he doesn’t, he’ll work for it. The rest of his life is spreading out in front of him, and he wants to enjoy the ride without ignoring his feelings and desires for a change.

Erwin looks around, the weak sound of flashes and yells filtering in from outside. “We better talk about this later.” He resumes his way with Levi on his heels. He won’t leave this building until being officially discharged.

They go out through a door that leads to an esplanade with reporters all around. The sun is dipping below the horizon, tinting the clouds to an almost pinkish hue. Levi stays to a side, careful of keeping his distance from the crowd, as he hates this sort of conglomeration. Upfront, Zackly says a few words to the microphone before the hundreds of flashes, followed by Pixis.

Time ago, Pixis’ speeches used to shake him to his core. He seemed so tall, so almighty, so wise... Now his figure is barely different from everyone else’s. Pixis’ political words no longer retain his attention; it’s instead stolen by something far more important at the back of the crowd. Hange. Her leg is kicking the floor in what looks like boredom.

Erwin steps towards the microphone and shares information about the meeting and more tiresome stuff like that. Levi’s ear perks up when he detects his name.

“... the famous agent Ackerman who is with me,” Erwin declares. Even when he doesn’t point at Levi, the aforementioned freezes in horror. What is he doing? Doesn’t he know how dangerous it is to bring out his name in something that will reach millions of screens? “He alone prevented the final strike of the terrorists who attacked the world a few months ago. He recently recovered from his multiple wounds, but as an exemplary eldian, he’s already on his feet and back with us.” Murmurs of approval rise like a wave through the audience. “This is an example of what we eldians can accomplish on our own...”

Levi’s mind spirals. Did he just hear what he thinks he just heard? He grinds his teeth. No, he can’t let his people believe more lies than they already do. Being in the background as he is, he still maintains his anonymity, but… he’s retiring, isn’t he? What’s the point of living in the shadows in the future?

Stumping, Levi steps forward, giving up his precious anonymity. He seizes the microphone and clears his throat. Erwin sends him a glare, but on camera, he allows him space and doesn’t ask what the hell he’s doing. Good thing, as Levi himself doesn’t know.

The face of his mother—pale and delicate, her long dark hair falling on her shoulders—comes to his mind as he looks at the confused faces in the audience, journalists and eldians and androids waiting for him to speak. Many times, his mother was part of that audience, and all she wanted was the best for them. She genuinely believed that would be achieved with Levi as an agent, but she was mistaken. She was only human, thus he can’t blame her for that. But finally, he understands that in the end, his mother would have agreed with what he’s about to do. She’d support it, even.

For the first time since that explosion took her from him, he feels completely clear-headed and airy. Levi steels himself and tightens his grip on the mic.

“Uhh... Hello.” The microphone makes a long, deafening beep that shakes everyone. “Sorry. Err, Erwin’s right. I am Ackerman and I helped the WCO end the global threat, but do you know who else did it?” Levi gestures behind him. “Her name is Hange Zoe, and believe it or not, she’s from Marley.” With one hand, he motions for her to come closer. Her facial muscles turn into stone, and after a second, she purses her lips and moves toward him.

Hange stops by his side and slides her glasses higher up on her nose. “Good afternoon, Eldia.” She seems to be speechless for a moment. Her hand reaches out to the air beside her, and Levi laces his fingers into hers, their hands joined together before every camera. He doesn’t let his mind delve into that. She takes a deep breath in and squares her shoulders.

“It’s a pleasure to be here with you,” Hange utters. “What Agent Ackerman said is true... We did it together. As you know, relations between Marley and Eldia have never been easy. Truth be told, for many centuries Marley has been the one to blame, but just as you aren’t the eldians of the past, we aren’t those people who wanted to take over the world at any cost…”

Hange continues speaking, injecting so much vigor into her voice that Levi can’t tear his eyes away from her. He wonders if, like him, everyone else can see how bright the light she holds inside is. She talks about dreams, but also, about ways to grasp them, and Levi’s mind enlarges in inspiration with her words. Maybe he doesn’t have to remain an agent to stop this. Maybe he can help to attain peace in other ways. Contributing in such a way may only represent a minuscule gram in the overall picture, but not because something is small it’s less valuable. Without the little, the big would never come to exist.

Among the desolate and dusky streets of his life, the days he spent working with Hange have been a pole light—which now convert into an entire sun pointing him in the right direction. As if, when he found her, he’d also found himself.

Hange walks away from the microphone, looking as if she wanted nothing more than to melt into the floor. Together, both recede to a corner, from where Levi eyes Erwin. He can see the angered lines on his forehead and the fury in those frozen-blue eyes with sheer clarity, and expects him to snap the second this ends.

“Why did you do that?” Hange mutters next to him. “You’ll get punished.”

“I’ll resign anyway.”

Hange opens her mouth and closes it. Opens it again. “You… What?!”

“Why is that so surprising?”

“You’re the one who would’ve volunteered to kiss Pixis’ shoes if requested.”

Levi clicks his tongue. He wouldn’t have gone that far… Likely.

Suddenly, a push shoves him to a recluse corner in the back of the esplanade. He finds himself leaning against a wall with a furious Erwin and his gritted teeth hovering over him. His heart thuds in his chest, apprehension and anger mixing with his blood.

“What the fuck?” Levi barks.

“What the fuck are you doing?” Erwin yells. That leaves Levi stunned. Erwin doesn’t curse. Never. “Do you know what Pixis just ordered me? To fire you! All because of your stupidity! If you wanted to quit, fine. But with this you wiped out any chance of getting referrals for yourself. It will be as if you had never done anything in your life!”

Beneath the fury, Levi detects traces of concern in him. A deep furrow tangles on Levi’s forehead. “So?”

Come to think of it, Levi likes the idea. A clean slate where he can start from scratch. It may be more challenging, but... it’s liberating to get rid of a past he isn’t proud of.

“How can you be so calm? Do you ever think about what your mother would have wanted? She was constantly worried about you, and with this sh—”

“She would’ve wanted the best for me.” In the end, she would have. He’s certain.

“Exactly. And this isn’t it. You’re ruining your life. What are you going to do now? You’ve never done anything but follow orders, and you just spoke in front of international cameras about who you are. Don’t you know you have enemies everywhere? They won’t let you live in peace. More importantly, will you be able to live in peace with yourself knowing how selfishly you’re behaving?”

Levi’s shoulders sag lower and lower with each strike of Erwin’s truths. He’s right... Though it’s hard for Levi to admit it. If he dares to live another life, wouldn’t he be dragging those around him into those difficulties?

Fear clogs his throat painfully.

“You really like talking nonsense,” a voice disrupts the grim future looming before Levi’s eyes. He turns to Mike, who is sauntering toward them with his hands in his pants pockets. “The world isn’t so small that a short person like him can’t drop off the radar if he wants it. And even if he’s recognized... there won’t be any major problems.”

“Oh, really?” Erwin arches an unbelieving bushy brow at Mike.

“That’s right. Because next to him there will be people willing to stand for him. Friends. True friends. Not friends”—Mike makes air quotes when saying the last bit—“who claim to be worried just to manipulate him into feeling however they wish."

Erwin says nothing, and keeps saying nothing when Mike pats Levi on the back and encourages him to follow him. After a heartbeat of hesitation, Levi clenches his fists and walks off, leaving a still silent Erwin behind.

They halt a step from rejoining the crowd. “You all right?”

Levi shrugs. He has no idea. His throat hasn’t yet recovered from the negative emotions he just developed. He does his best to swallow them. He hasn’t yet succeeded by the time Hange materializes from a side and gives him a little push with her arm.

“Hey. Where were you? I suddenly turned around and you were gone.” Her tone is light, but Levi can tell some tension brews underneath. ‘Is everything alright?’ is her actual question.

And it suddenly is. Levi inflates his lungs with the cool afternoon air and drives any hint of worry out of his body. He’s feeling much better altogether. Mike’s hand patting his back also provides some warmth. Friend. Can Levi really consider him as such?

“He ate something funny,” Mike explains, smirking. “I was only being a good person by aiding him in such a precarious state.”

Levi wags his finger. “Mike drank too much in the meeting. I was the one trying to protect the valuable eldian corners from Mike’s pee.”

Hange doesn’t seem to buy their excuse, but limits to shake her head with a smile.

Erwin reappears and frowns at the sight of the trio. He strides in their direction, and almost protectively, Hange takes a step toward Levi. Levi’s abruptly aware of the barrier she and Mike form around him, the circle he seems to be part of. He can’t stop the corner of his mouth from curling, sweet heat radiating from his chest. Erwin ignores them, but Levi doesn’t care at this moment. Maybe later he will.

It doesn’t take long for the multitude to disperse along with the other ministers. Even Mike waves them goodbye before rushing off to the rest of the WCO visitors. Levi and Hange should head off, too, but he finds his limbs reluctant to move away. So, for once, he doesn’t fight them and lets himself be.

He glances at the sky and an idea pops up in his head. It’s against the rules, but… “I want to show you something.”

Her eyes acquire a curious glow, and right then and there, Levi knows he made the correct choice.

Weary of whoever could remain around, he motions for her to follow him and leads her through a network of corridors to the rear of the building. They come to a room with nothing but office supplies, in which Levi takes out his identification card. He slides it through the electronic lock until a green light turns on.

The door opens onto a narrow street full of garbage cans. He looks back at the camera resting in a corner. “We better hurry up. They must have noticed us by now.”

They jog down the street and pass several blocks, the cool wind blessing Levi’s hot skin.

“I feel like a criminal,” Hange gasps when she comes to a halt after him. “Isn’t it weird I’ve never felt like this before, not even when I knocked you down and ran away?”

“You won’t go to jail for violating the limits of your permission by some blocks,” he assures. I hope so, at least. “And we’re here.”

They round a corner.

Hange’s mouth falls open, her gaze lost in awe at the huge old trees, whose leafy branches hang down to them. Levi unlocks a rusty metal gate with a squeak, and a road stretches out before them, boarded by grass and trees four times his size. Hange’s eyes are round as they move forward, mesmerized by the greenness of the entire landscape, sometimes adorned with pink or yellow dots—flowers that are mere buds waiting to bloom.

They arrive at a circular area with stone benches and a working fountain in the center. Fortunately, at this hour the place is devoid of people—which Levi already knew would be.

“Before becoming an agent and moving to this zone, my mother used to take me here whenever we visited the city. We used to feed the pigeons,” he says, looking at the birds pecking the ground around them.

“This is… beautiful,” she exhales, rolling on her heels to look at everything. “I never knew this existed. But again”—she smiles— “I never expected Eldia to hold so many surprises inside.”

Hange explores around for the minutes to follow, until she’s too tired and flumps next to him on a bench. It has some flowers carved on the back, and it’s clean and fresh and somewhat comfortable. Levi’s muscles relax and his mind flutters away, lulled by her presence at his side, the sound of birds singing, and the light wind caressing his skin. The sky is of a glittering dark purple, the lamps overhead illuminating the rows of trees lined around.

“I’m Levi,” he blurts out.

“Uh?”

“I mean, my real name is Levi. Magically, you got it right at first chance.”

She lets out a laugh and reclines to look up. “You know? It’s going to sound crazy—Nana told me so when I told her, but…” She looks at him out of the corner of her eye, as if deciding if she should tell him. Quite pointlessly, as Levi can’t recall a time when Hange Zoe was able to withhold something from him for long.

Seeming overcome by the words piling up in her mouth, she lets out a loud sigh. “When I was a child, after I lost my family, I used to feel so lonely and sad every day. And I… I started having these bizarre dreams of people I didn’t know.” Levi narrows his eyes at her. “In the back of my mind, I knew terrible things were happening to the people in those dreams, but waking up I only remembered the feelings of belonging and support. How at home and safe I felt. And most of the time, it was always with the same person, a grumpy man with little to no expressions, but a gentle heart. He instantly became my first crush,” she laughs.

Levi squirms. Could it be—? His phone rings and he takes it out to turn it off. Erwin is looking for them.

Unbothered by the interruption, Hange remains abstracted in memories. “In those years, he and Mr. Sonny helped me to get back to the road. I always thought it was something my imagination created to help me to cope… but then, he was there!” Humor and light radiate from her, making her smile gleam. “Imagine my surprise when I looked at the man who was about to shoot me dead and saw the very same face from my dreams. Just there, the person I wished to meet the most, with a gun to my face! My shitty luck, of course. I didn’t know what to do, but I… I just couldn’t kill you.”

“You were an idiot for not doing it.” If his body hadn’t reacted like that, if she hadn’t been fast enough, if the explosion hadn’t come… He can’t even picture harming her, now. “But thank you.”

“Aren’t you weirded out by what I’m saying?” She asks, tilting her head to a side. He jerks a shoulder, unsure of what to share, as he knows everything about it. It all feels too massive to summarize in some sentences. Perhaps in the future and with more time, he’ll tell her everything. “Well,” she keeps going, “then I got to work with you and, strangely, after a while I started feeling the same way I did in my dreams… at home.” Red spots color her cheekbones. “Ahem. Is that silly?”

No. I felt the same.

“Yes,” he replies. “But… I get it.”

“The entire time I was trying to discover if inside that nonchalant façade was the man I saw in my dreams.”

Levi crosses and uncrosses his legs. “… And?”

“And he was. And some.” She darts her gaze away from him. He feels himself glow from the inside out. Speaking as if she was in a race, and almost as an afterthought, she adds, “Now is the moment I ask if you thought about going out someday…”

His neck hardens, a hot layer covering his face. “Y—You said you don’t like dating.” He recalls her words in order to calm down the flapping in his stomach. “You said you were too busy.”

“Work should decrease in the future. We’ve progressed towards peace more than ever, which is a beginning...”

“Right.”

She doesn’t mention the lack of answers on his part. “What will you do when peace arrives, now that you’ll be unemployed?”

“Nothing.” He won’t, finally, have a responsibility to live for, which is frightening and exciting in equal amounts. “I’ll try not to fix the world’s wrongs anymore.” Not that much, at least.

Hange ponders his words. “That’s okay. And afterward?”

“I don’t know.” He hasn’t given it too much thought. He craves to do thousands of things, but at the same time, only a small number matters for real. “I want a tea shop and to help people, though I still have to figure out how...”

“Interesting. Well, mmm… I want a lab, in that case. I want to reborn more of these precious.” She waves a hand at the plants circling them. Above them, night has made its way to the sky. “Oh! And I want to own a library!”

“Okay. We can have one next to the tea shop. It would be a nice touch.”

“Yay!” She claps. “And we must have a door connecting both places!”

“Sure.” His gaze locks on hers, suspending her into place. “If you want it, we will. We’ve done enough to deserve it.”

He looks at her swallowing.

“You’re right.”

Right now, a more uninhibited person would lean in for a kiss, which Levi is anything but. Nevertheless… For the first time, he’s acting completely out of character, taking a path he never before dared to. Maybe he can do something else he desires. Can be spontaneous, if only for a minute?

Levi lifts his hand and, with one finger, traces the edges of Hange’s face, hitching her breath. His heart pounds hard against his ears, warmth spreading throughout him. Her eyes fixate on his mouth, and a shiver travels through his back. Her hot skin against his fingertips feels soft and pleasant.

He cups her face, covering her cheek, and she closes her eyes as he leans in. His lips brush hers as weightless as the moonlight above them, thousands of sensations releasing in overload. Her scent floods his nostrils, earthy and inherently hers. The press of their lips is firm and curious, a perfect burst of heat among the chilly night air. A rush of pleasure runs along his body and envelops him whole in warmth and bliss.

It’s intoxicating and addictive. He can’t figure out what to do with his hands, so he brings her closer and tangles one in her hair, deepening the kiss. Savors her, drunk in satisfaction, in her taste and the sensation of her chest pressing against his, the ardor in this.

They part between gasps, and Hange snuggles to his side, exuding warmth to his coldness. Her head rests on his shoulder and he takes a deep breath, drowsiness engulfing him, his heart calm and steady. At ease.

He tips his head up to the stars shining against the darkness, the ones never ceasing to beam no matter how their surroundings lack any light.

“Those stars there look like an arch…” Hange points up.

His eyes flutter shut. It’s unsettling, yet amazing, to do this with her beside him. He spent so many nights staring at the sky, wanting to see it with her again, longing for a place where they could meet in another life. And here they are. Finally.

Eventually, they’ll have to venture back to reality. He’ll have to mind what to do next and how to be around her without endangering anyone. But for tonight, he’ll delay it all as much as he can.

A chopping sound deafens them just as a helicopter flies over their heads.

“I think they found us,” she spouts, her hair ruffling with the air. Even with her disheveled hair, she looks stunning, her rosy cheeks visible under the helicopter’s lights. He doesn’t want to leave; rather, to stay under the night with her by his side a little longer… Thinking about it, it sounds like an excellent idea.

He jumps to his feet and offers her a hand. “I know where to hide for a little while.”

A laugh catches in her throat. “Ohhh, and adventure? With a chase? I’m in!” She clasps his hand and he hauls her up, making her crash against his chest.

“Let’s go.”

Squeezing her hand, he runs off, pulling her with him. His heart swells with happiness, the most he recalls ever feeling. For once, the idea of going to his apartment doesn’t shoot dullness to his core, but excitement. She laughs behind him, and it’s so contagious that he does, too. He never thought that running away together would be so much fun, but with her, perhaps any circumstance would end up qualifying as pleasant.

Having always moved according to what was demanded of him and what he could give to the world, acting for his own sake feels new and liberating—a feeling he never met before. It’s almost as if wings could appear from his back and propel him up to the sky at any second, and it would be only natural. Here and now, Levi commits to making this feeling routine.

He desires happiness, peace, and fulfillment. Wants to do a monotonous job and come back home with complaints about the people he met that day, only to find himself drained in the joy of Hange’s arms. Or maybe just stay in their home and clean until she’s back from working on her research. Either way, he’ll do his best to make it happen—to keep her smile and the color in her cheeks from never fading. To live together with her, in a cabin in the woods or in the midst of a metropolis or on another planet. No matter where, he longs for that kind of future with her. And this time and from now on, he’ll live it every day.

Stepping away from the kind of responsibility people like them bear might be selfish and not the noble thing to do. But they have done that already.

Out of the prison of the duty that used to keep them apart, now they have their entire lives ahead and the freedom to live them as they please.

They get to fully enjoy their second chance, beginning today.