#that's my emotional support lesbian mental illness movie

[zukosgay]

I see you posting about horror and I would love some recs if you have some to share 🙏

i just accidentally deleted a whole list fjahsjdasd i hate my life. anyways, i’m just gonna go ahead and assume you know the classics that get recommended all the time (the babadook, the ring, the exorcist, the vvitch, the conjuring, hereditary, the thing, insidious, etc.). here’s some underrated/indie horror movies i rarely see talked about (favs are in italics):

The not-actually-that-scary-but-still-good horror movies:

Let The Right One In (2008) – I mean, it’s literally my favorite movie/book and I have a tattoo of it, we been knew

Possum (2018) – I cannot even begin to tell you how much I adore this movie. Horror movies about CSA that explore it without once showing the actual rape, but still being terrifying/disturbing nonetheless?? Just an irish guy chilling with the puppet personification of his csa trauma????? Hells yeah (huge TW for spiders tho, i mean. I’m not scared of spiders but that fucking puppet is stil terrifying no matter how much I look at it)

Hard Candy has a soft spot in my heart. That’s my emotional support „ellen page tortures pedophiles“ movie

Thirst (2009)

Ravenous (1999) THE INHERENT ROMANTICISM OF BEING GAY AND CANNIBALS ON A MOUNTAIN. Brokeback mountain for cannibals

We Are What We Are (2010)

Marrowbone (2017)

The transfiguration (2016) – there’s so little vampire stories with black people, and i really loved how this wasn’t outright fantasy horror but had more of a ‚vampirism as an actual mental illness‘ approach

Nightbreed (1990) this movie IS lgbt cinema history

Gerald’s Game (2017) – we get it elena you love horror movies about the trauma of CSA

The autopsy of jane doe (2017) - i feel like this movie is perfect for horror fans who are tentative about seeing any big grotesque/gorey jumpscares 

As Above, So Below (2014) (the first and so far only movie that got permission to film in the paris catacombs) (also good for starters)

The Actually-Scary (at least to me) movies:

Lake Mungo (2008) ((think of TMA’s The End)) (i deadass think about this movie so often, the story is so devastating and really stays in my head. also the bg ghosts)

The [REC] franchise!!! any of those movies fuck me up and are TERRIFYING (again ff) 

I watched 30 Days of Night (2007) when it came out, when i was way too young, and it still to this day holds the spot for coolest vampire design (they modelled them after the jaws of white sharks!!! They’re supposed to be slavic strigoi) and also one of the only one times where i was actually scared by vampires

Livid (2011) (french horror movie!) (v gorey)

The Taking of Deborah Logan (2014) (found footage of a demonic mom – you’ll see a lot of FF on this list cuz i think it’s criminally underrated and terrifying if done well)

NOROI: The Curse (2005) ((ff))

Open water (2003) (this is scary to me because it’s based on a true story about a couple who went cave diving in the ocean with a guide who got LEFT BEHIND in the middle of the motherfucking ocean – with literally nothing to hold onto and no one even reporting them missing. Also, after i watched this i did a lil research and turns out there’s quite a lot of people ‚going missing‘ while taking swimming lessons where the guides will just drive to shore without them YEARLY. Fucked up if true) ((this has tma the vast vibes))

Clown (2014) (I recommend this to people who aren’t scared to like Eli Roth movies and think It Chap. 1 was boring)

Martyrs (2008) – a classic, this movie is bound to disturb you. It’s about child abuse and the survivors of child abuse enacting revenge, though it’s not the typical csa/anything similiar. HUGE tw for uhhhh, torture, self harm, mutilation etc..

Mama (2008) – the goth tattooed rocker chic jessica chastain movie

The bay (2012) (ff)

The last exorcism (2010) (ff)

The wailing (2016)

If you put on any V/H/S movie for me I’m guaranteed to shit my pants, so there’s that

May (2002) – i turned lesbophobic after watching this movie. About a lesbian obsessed with dolls i’ll say nothing more

The not-as-scary-but-still-scary-so-i-dont-wanna-put-them-in-the-first-list-in-case-i-traumatize-anyone movies:

Creep 1 & 2

The Strangers

The void (2016) ((tma the spiral))

The Hallow (2015)

The loved ones (2009) – a classic

Excision (2012) (if you liked raw)

Devil’s pass (2013)

Afflicted (2013) ((ff))

The cell (2000)

Session 9 (2001)

They Look Like People (2015)

The children (2008) – fuck them KIDS

The blackcoat’s daughter (2015)

I really liked Armie Hammer’s netflix original Wounds (2019)? IDK why. I found the story (albeit better suited as a short story) fascinating

Night Eats The World (2018) – another french movie! This time it’s about the inherent isolation and loneliness in locking yourself in a parisian apartment all alone with a bunch of zombies eating the rest of the world

Pontypool (2008)

The lure (2015) – yes, we’re polish, yes, we’re mermaids, yes, we eat men, yes, we also perform in a pop girl group WE EXIST!

I am not a serial killer (2016)

Green room (2015)

That’s it, pretty much. 

#god i saw my life flash before my eyes when i accidentally deleted the whole reply. so i did it in word instead #pirategf

[dallonm-archive]

LIFE CYCLE OF MASSIVE STARS | A CAMP NANO 2021 (RE)-INTRO

CONTENT WARNINGS: death of a parent, classism, anti-autistic ableism, mental illness, trauma, light adult content (nothing explicit)

Genre: literary fiction, contemporary, new adult, ?????, who knows :)

POV: third person present, split POV

Setting: Sheffield, UK. 2020 but i am simply pretending there is no pandemic 

Camp Nano Goal: 15,000

Deals With: parental trauma, death, sexuality + gender identity, anti-autistic ableism, classism, complicated family dynamics, the “help i’m in my last year of university and i don’t know what i’m fucking doing or who i am” mood, chloe talks shit about the uk + uk gov for ~80k words straight

The Vibes: rainy days, empty streets at night, libraries at 3am, house parties you shouldn’t be at, misty mornings, highlighter stains, cheap alcohol, city skylines, countryside views, going to big tesco/aldi just to feel something :(

Summary: Thomas’ father died over summer and he doesn’t know how to tell his housemates. Instead, he hides in the IC library or the Botanical Gardens or West Street clubs and decides that he is a blank canvas, and that his trauma can stay with his family in Rotterdam. (it’s not that easy)

Kristen likes to pretend that Uni will last forever. He likes to pretend a lot of things: that nobody will look at him differently when they learn he’s autistic, that people will understand his relationship with gender, that his family isn’t hiding secrets from him about his mother. (it’s not that easy)

Junie thought coming out would come with all the answers. But she only has new questions: what does “lesbian” mean for her? Who is she beyond that? How does she find her place in amongst people who experience the world so differently to her? (it’s not that easy)

Literal Logline: girl help i am still attached to OCs i made in 2013-2016

So if you’ve been following me a while (I say as my blog is only seven months old), you may remember a little wip I introduced here named Patchwork, a new adult novel that dealt with the messy experience that is trying to figure out what it means to be an adult when you’re plunged into the fast-paced adult world of university. That story has always been very close to my heart but it was difficult to progress on because: 

I was working on it whilst going through ~the worst time of my life at university~. My second year was already awful before the pandemic started, and the pandemic just made it worse, and since this story is so inherently connected to my own experiences at university I couldn’t work on it whilst dealing with all of that. I’m currently taking the year off until things calm down and I think it’s the perfect chance to sit back and reflect on those experiences, and I think writing this novel would help

I simply was not ready for it! Drafting Revelations, Revelations has really refreshed my perception on novels because it’s taught me that I suit slow-paced, plot-light, discovery written novels the best and the original plan for this novel was way too plot heavy because I thought that’s what I had to do. But it’s not!

But! Whilst this novel and myself needed a lot of growth before I could think about drafting it, I’m at a point where I do feel ready to return to it. I think drafting Revelations, Revelations especially has given me the confidence I needed because I! Really tried to hard to give a heavy plot to this novel initially and I’ve since realised that I work best with slower novels that are really just a snapshot of people’s lives and their emotional growth. I also am at a point where, whilst I know not being there is the best thing right now, I miss University so so so much and I miss pre-pandemic University like I miss lecture halls and cafes and house parties and library all nighters so much it’s unreal!! This novel is practically a love letter to the year I lost as well as calling out the absolutely awful way the UK government has treated University students both before and during this pandemic. I was actually originally going to set this in the pandemic, because I think there are so many conversations that need to be had about the handling of it in this country but I also don’t think I am Ready for that (and I really just want my characters to be able to go outside lol). I think Camp Nano is the perfect kickstart to actually work on this novel because I now know just need to start writing rather than worry about ~plot~ - my plan is to just pants the fuck out of 15000 words and see where the story goes! I probably won’t return to it until I finish drafting Revelations, Revelations, but I appreciate the chance to get a head start + a little break from RR that I think will be needed by April

The biggest and most important change going into this however is: all three protagonists are autistic! I see a lot of posts about how to write autistic characters on here, but I think I’ve only seen one or two stories that actually had an autistic protagonist (if you have a contemporary and/or literary wip with one please please tag me in it! I really want more autistic rep and I want autistic rep from non autistic people too) and, as an autistic, I decided that I Will Simply Create It. All three characters have their own unique relationship with their autism and I am super excited to have a story that can explicitly navigate that whilst it’s not all the story is about, it is an important element as it shapes how our narrators see the world. And whilst there is anti-autistic sentiment they have to deal with, it’s not at the centre of their narratives or autistic stories. They are just autistic and existing and that’s not always easy but it’s ultimately what makes them who they are and they wouldn’t change it for the world. Being autistic is a wonderful thing! I love being autistic! I also would love to talk more about autistic rep on here (unfortunately relevant thanks to a certain movie): my biggest frustration is that it is SO clear that mainstream autistic rep is not actually for us. It perpetuates harmful ideas and only serves as inspiration porn for neurotypicals. They frame our condition on how it impacts others and don’t consult us or let us tell our own stories and pretend we’re all cis white verbal boys with bad social skills. I am only one autistic person, and I cannot write for everyone in the community (please make sure you are listening to and supporting all sorts of autistic people!), but I hope that telling a story influenced by my own will not only help myself but others - and maybe help out any of you that aren’t autistic and are looking to write autistic rep.

The main characters haven’t changed much, but a little re-intro :)

Thomas

studies psychology

bisexual disaster

panic attack! in the library cafe 

wannabe plant dad (one of them is named monty :) will monty survive?)

looks like he’d invite you to watch pulp fiction in his dorm but he’s probably never seen it and his favourite movie is probably like. ratatouille

taking italian classes to cope

Junie

studies psychology 

16 year old chloe made a pretty girl oc and was like hope this doesn’t awaken anything in me and here we are

bakes to cope

the BEST fashion 

lets go on an adventure :) -screams in the forest- 

she’s done your birth chart and she is NOT happy

Kristen

studies english and music 

the way i literally can’t let go of this bastard and it’s been 8 years

former emo kid who never really got over it

BEST party playlists

often found in the kitchen at 4am making cinnamon rolls

unsupervised access to the internet as a child

i have no taglist for this, but like with NaNoWriMo, i’ll likely do a dedicated taglist for Camp Nano updates and we’ll see where it goes from there! As I said I likely will take a long break from this story after April until I finish drafting Revelations, Revelations, so the taglist will just be for Camp Nano, but I’m excited to spend a month getting to know it and sharing that with y’all so if you’d like to me on a taglist for this, let me know! <3

#i promise my next novel wont be third person present split pov but it is <3 so good <3 #wip intro #amwriting #writeblr #atlastracking #LCOMS #once again i am making a post at 5am and i am also autistic so ignore typos pls <3

[write-baby-write]

Writing LGBTQ+ Characters

The idea for this post came to me when I was constantly writing Fanfiction 101 posts. It’s no secret to anyone that TV, movies, games claim to support diversity and being LGBTQ+ friendly, but keep the spotlight on straight characters and relationships. And as a consequence of living in society and consuming these forms of entertainment, fanfic authors end up reproducing some of the misconceptions and stereotypes created by society in their stories.

One of my biggest concerns while hosting events is how fanfic writers treat characters who represent a minority group. I know most of the writers who make mistakes don’t truly mean to offend anyone when they write something usually seen as a joke, a quote they saw somewhere or a song lyric. But they still do. And this post is my way to help fix this issue.

In case you’re not familiar with a few LGBTQ+ terms, let me introduce you to some of them. First, there’s sex. It can either mean the biological classification as male or female and the practice of sexual activities (solo or with others). To make it easier, whenever I talk about sexual activities, I’ll either say sexual activities or sexual relationships. The second term is gender, which is a social construction based on what cultures and societies associate to the biological differences among people.

The third one is the umbrella term or spectrum. Whenever I mention either of them, I’m talking about a term used to cover various other terms that fall under the same category.

Lastly, we have sexuality and gender identity. Sexuality is about sexual feelings, thoughts and attraction to others. It’s about who we want to have relationships with (whether they’re sexual, romantic or both). This term used to be known as sexual orientation, I personally don’t like it because it can give an idea that sexuality is a choice. It isn’t. Gender identity is the internal perception of oneself. It’s the core idea of “look in the mirror and see how you feel about yourself” cliché. This is the concept that says if a person is cisgender, transgender or non-binary.

Even though all these concepts are part of human nature, most of them are new to many of us. The world still believes and passes along misconceptions and stereotypes that are being fought against as I write this post. Until the nineties, being gay and lesbian was associated to being mentally ill. Last time I checked, being transgender still is considered a mental condition described with “symptoms” and "forms of treatment” in psychiatric textbooks because no one bothered to change it. These are just a few of many reasons why this post is necessary in this blog.

To write a decent post about this subject, I asked fellow LGBTQ+ writers and readers to share their opinions with me about the problematic things they’ve seen in fanfics and suggestions they could give to authors writing LGBTQ+ characters/relationships and here’s a compilation of what I received from them.

OBS: This is merely an attempt to have a guideline on writing LGBT+ characters at CFWC. Yes, I do realize this is a really long ass post for a guideline. It took me weeks of reading, researching and collecting info and I know I still might have missed something. But bear with me. I’ll make it worthwhile.

(A huge thanks to @aaronthe8thdemon​​, @homeformyheart​​, @itslaniquelove​​, @lilyoffandoms​​, @milo-the-goat-stan-account​​, @parkdoesthings​​ and @ukermane​​ for sharing articles they’ve read and their own personal knowledge, thoughts and suggestions ❤️)

Sexual and Romantic Attraction

Attraction is a consequence of different aspects (emotional bond, gender, intelligence, etc) because human beings have their singularities and personal preferences when it comes to finding a partner. For an author to describe attraction properly in a story, it’s important to understand some concepts that are common for LGBTQ+ characters, but also have some interesting stuff related to straight characters.

The most relevant components are sexual and emotional. The sexual component of attraction is determined by how often sexual attraction happens, if it becomes sexual desire (as in the need to engage in sexual activities) and the influence of other aspects that elicit attraction. So we have: allosexuality, demisexuality, sapiosexuality, grey-asexuality and asexuality.

Allosexual is someone who feels sexual attraction regularly. Characters written as allosexual can often engage into sexual activities (solo or with others). They are open to venture into casual relationships with strangers or someone they know, but it doesn’t necessarily involve any other aspect of attraction.

Demisexual is someone who only experiences sexual attraction to people they have a deep emotional connection with. In this case, demisexual characters usually don’t engage into sexual activities, unless their sexual partner is someone they know really well and have a meaningful relationship with (whether it’s romantic or platonic). They might not have a high sex drive. Can they have one night stands? Yes. But it’s mostly with someone they know. Can they have sex with someone they don’t know really well? It can happen, but chances are that they do it in hopes to develop a stronger bond with whoever they’re having sex with.

Similarly to demisexual, sapiosexual is someone who only experiences sexual attraction if they’re attracted to the intelligence and/or mind of another. However, the emotional connection isn’t mandatory.

Grey-asexual is someone who experiences sexual attraction infrequently. The emotional bond also isn’t a requirement. Grey-asexual characters might not often engage into sexual activities since their sex drive is low.

Asexual is someone who experiences little sexual attraction to other people. Every ace person has a different experience, which means they might feel sexual desire and engage into sexual activities eventually. But don’t hold your breath waiting for it. The romantic component isn’t a requirement, so asexual characters still can fall in love, get married, have children, etc.

Much like the sexual one, the romantic component of attraction is determined by how often it happens, if it becomes a desire to have a romantic relationship and the influence of other components. In this case, we have heteroromantic, homoromantic, biromantic, panromantic and aromantic.

Heteroromantic, homoromantic, biromantic and panromantic fit into the alloromantic spectrum because all of them experience romantic attraction toward others, but gender is a key component in it. Hetero and homoromantic only feel attracted to one gender (opposite and same sex, respectively), while biromantic feels attraction to two genders and panromantic to multiple genders.

Aromantic are people who feel little or no romantic attraction toward other people. Since it’s also an umbrella term, it includes different terms for romantic attraction such as demiromantic, greyromantic, frayromantic, aroallo, etc.

Demiromantic is someone who only feels romantic attraction with someone they have a deep connection with. Does it mean they’ll only have a romantic relationship with friends? No. It also includes sexual partners and other people they have a bond with.

Greyromantic is someone who experiences infrequent romantic attraction. In many cases, they only feel it a couple of times in their lives. They can be unsure when their feelings are romantic or platonic and they might not feel the romantic desire or engage into romantic relationships.

As I said before, we all are influenced by these components of attraction on different levels. A straight character can be demiromantic and/or ace, a bi character isn’t necessarily biromantic, a transgender can be aro and/or ace and so on. All of them are valid and deserve to be appreciated.

Now that we understand these concepts about attraction, we can dive into the subjects related exclusively to LGBTQ+ characters.

Gay/Lesbian Characters

(Based on @aaronthe8thdemon’s answer to Fanfiction 101: LGBTQ+ characters guide post and the many things I learned with real life friends)

I think this is the most common LGBT+ representation in fanworks. Since the concept of having a relationship with someone from the same sex has been discussed for a longer period of time, it’s certainly “easier” to write lesbians and/or gay characters.

One of the first fandom discourses I witnessed here was about straight authors writing men loving men or women loving women. There are many claims about objectification of the characters, poorly written sexual scenes and, of course, queerbaiting. These complaints didn’t come out of thin air. There are writers who don’t care to give depth to the characters or their relationships. Many add a scene here and there with a gay character just so their MC can have that funny friend who only exists for the sole purpose of helping the protagonist. The gay character is constantly described as loud and effeminate, lesbians equal agressive women, men haters, tomboy or butch. And of course, there are the clichés sexual scenes (by the way, I’m being really nice when I say this).

I do believe anyone can write any character if they do some research that goes beyond Wikipedia articles and how the media usually represents LGBTQ+ characters. So here are things we all should avoid while writing gay and lesbian characters:

Gender identity and sexuality aren’t the same thing: remember the first concepts of I mentioned before. Apply those ideas to create and/or describe the characters. Gender envy isn’t a thing for gay men and lesbians. Gay men don’t want to be women and lesbians don’t want to be men.

The effeminate gay: that is one huge cliché. And though there are real life effeminate gays, it’s really important to point out that in this godawful world we live in, it takes a lot of courage for anyone to be the flamboyant effeminate gay we see in fiction. So if you’re going to write a character as effeminate, the least you can do is to be respectful. Don’t make them a joke, don’t write them flat and please don’t kill them just because.

Writing hurt/comfort or angst isn’t a synonym of writing homophobic acts of violence: Write characters fighting for dumb reasons, breaking up, having a bad day (because hey! Everyone has one.), seeking comfort from friends/relatives/partners because they miss someone. You can skip the scenes with homophobia content. There’s enough of that on TV, movies, etc;

And If you want to write smut, you must remember that:

Sex is more than penetration;

Women can do more than scissoring;

Sex toys exist for a reason;

Nobody enjoys anal sex on the first attempt;

Penises don’t need to be huge (the prostate is about three inches long. There’s no way it porn star cocks can fit in completely)

Humping on someone’s knees or legs doesn’t do anything for people who don’t have clitorises;

Nothing replaces lube. If your characters don’t have lube with them, there are other ways they give each other pleasure (like handjobs, blowjobs, fingering);

Condoms and other forms of protection during oral sex exist and they should be used (especially when the characters don’t know each other that well to know if their partner is STD free).

For more info: one | two

Bisexual characters

(Based on @itslaniquelove’s and @lilyoffandoms answers to Fanfiction 101: LGBTQ+ characters guide post and personal experience. You can read Lanique’s post about it here)

This is the topic I’ve seen more mistakes about in this fandom because we have a lot of bisexual characters being written by straight people. And oh, my sweet summer child… *deep sigh* This bi author writing this post has so much to say about it:

Bisexuality isn’t just about liking men and women: bisexualty is an umbrella term for several other concepts (pansexual, multisexual, omnisexual and polysexual) that involve different aspects of attraction and they share one big similarity: attraction goes beyond sex and gender.

Not all bi characters want a threesome: this is something that must be stated right away so we can overcome this stupid and very old fetish. Yes, it can be a cool thing to write. Kudos to you if you managed to write sex with three or more characters because I know it’s not easy, but bisexual aren’t obsessed with it. Straight porn created for men is. So, unless you have characters in an open or polyamorous relationship, you can move past it.

Not all bi characters engage into polymorous relationships: If you scroll past the sexual and romantic attraction topic or in case it isn’t clear, bisexuals might not experience romantic attraction very often if they fit into the aromantic spectrum. And yes, some bisexuals are monogamous too.

And to emphasize the “bisexuals can be monogamous” idea, bisexuals cheat as much as anyone else does: Sexuality doesn’t determine who cheats more. Betrayals happen for a multitude of reasons that I’m not going to list because motives change from one character/person to another. Also, remember the sexual and romantic topic? Some bisexuals might not even have the sex drive and/or romantic desire necessary to engage in one romantic/sexual relationship, let alone in two or more relationships at once.

Bisexuals aren’t 50% straight + 50% gay: This is a very concept based on Kinsey study and though it has its relevance historically speaking, it’s outdated and it fails in many aspects such as not including attraction to non-binary individuals or the influence of romantic and sexual components combined with other factors (eg. intelligence and lifestyle). Forget the math. Bisexuals aren’t math equations to be solved.

While I’m still talking about the sexual/romantic components of attraction, allow me to talk about something that causes so many misconceptions and it’s deeply hurtful to many of us. Bisexuals aren’t equally attracted to different genders: Again, forget the math. Bisexuals can be demiromantic, demisexual, biromantic, heteroromantic, homoromantic, panromantic, sapiosexual, aromantic, asexual… The list can go on forever.

The discourse about bi erasure has happened many times in interactive fiction fandoms, so let’s clarify something. I’m sure you’ve witnessed people saying a character is lesbian because they mostly or only date women in canon. Or that they’re only gay if MC is male. Those people are wrong! If a character is written to be attracted to MC regardless of their gender, they’re bi. If they mostly or only date one gender, but still feel attraction to other genders (regardless of engaging into sexual/romantic relationships), they’re still bi. Even if the author of a character that you don’t own doesn’t know squat about sexuality *coughcough*TRR writers*coughcough* but stated their character is bi, they’re still bi. Oh, before I forget: bisexual men aren’t unicorns. They exist.

Bisexuals aren’t confused, they don’t decide which gender to like best at some point in life. They’re just attracted to people of different genders and if they choose live with someone of the same gender or different gender, that choice has nothing to do with becoming gay or straight. Bisexuals are bisexuals. Period.

For more info: one | two

Non-binary characters

(Based on @parkdoesthings’s, @milo-the-goat-stan and @lilyoffandoms answers to Fanfiction 101: LGBTQ+ characters guide post. You can read their posts about it here: one | two)

The concept of gender identity is still new for many of us because it’s rarely explored beyond notions of feminine and masculine. Binary gender identities on their own do nothing, but spread more stereotypes and misinformation for those who attempt to “fit” into these labels. But when it comes to non-binary genders, things take a whole new level of ridiculous. So here are a few tips to avoid problems in the future.

It’s important to know which gender identity will best describe the character: there are several terms associated to non-conforming genders. I know seven of them, but chances are there might be more. You must do your proper research to figure out how to present your character well to the reader.

Don’t try to make them fit into the binary box: just because a character is assigned female or male at birth it doesn’t mean they should be described as women or men. Non-binary characters can be more feminine, more masculine, both and/or neither. This is something you’ll figure out while studying/creating their characterization.

Clothes mean everything and nothing at all: yes, you can describe your character expressing themselves through clothes. I believe it will work really well for some gender identities, but this isn’t an essential part of the characterization. Non-binary characters can also use vocal training and their body language to express how they want to present themselves.

When using pronouns, you can go beyond them/they: One of the writers I talked mentioned that a reader pointed it out they weren’t writing their own character correctly because they used the pronouns they and he. But what this reader probably doesn’t know is that a person can use any pronouns they want. Some use he to express more of their masculine side, same goes for she, others choose neopronouns and multiple pronouns or never ever change them. So, yes, our fellow writer can give any pronouns they want for their character because it’s their original character.

Anything related to secondary sex characteristics should be handled carefully: It can be sensitive topic for many non-binary people to read detailed descriptions of a non-binary character genitals, too much emphasis on binders, tucking, surgery scars.

Gender dysphoria (feeling of discomfort toward their sex and how a person perceives themselves) can be an important topic to write about, but you have to proceed with caution if you’re going to do it.

For more info: one | two | three | four

Trans characters

(Based on @aaronthe8thdemon’s answer to Fanfiction 101: LGBTQ+ characters guide post and articles listed at the end of this topic)

All LGBTQ+ characters have their own misconceptions and stereotypes, but for transgender characters, it must be one of the most cruel ones. As far as I’ve seen, transgender characters are the villains (J.K. Rowling says hello from hell) or a side character that is either the victim or the laughingstock. It’s about time to move past that. Here are a few things to avoid:

Respect the character’s preferred pronouns. Don’t dead name the characters. Avoid giving them a name similar to their dead name: They may be fictional, but it can be a sensitive subject to a real life person who took some time of their day to read your story. Don’t be rude to your readers.

Trans male characters have completely different life experiences from trans female characters: They’re both trans, but they can’t be written the same way because they go through different issues in terms of transition and how society feels about them.

Though non-binary is under trans umbrella, transgender and non-binary aren’t the same thing. It simply means both non-binary and transgender are not cis.

Support is appreciated, but trans characters don’t need a savior: Cis characters can be powerful allies to fight transphobia, but trans characters don’t need a cis character help to understand their own struggles, to come out or to defend themselves. The fight is theirs.

Don’t fetishize their bodies: describing a trans character body in too many details (especially secondary sex traits such as chest and genitals) may across as insensitive and rude.

Gender transition might be a fascinating topic for cis people because of the many awfully romantized metaphors about becoming who they truly are, but it can be associated to painful experience in their lives. Careful with how you handle this topic.

When writing smut, be mindful about how you describe the scene. Some descriptions can be unrealistic and don’t take under consideration sensitive themes like gender dysphoria, sex reassignment surgery and effects of hormones in the body.

For more info: one | two | three | four | five

The “It’s Just Fiction” Card

If you read this post until here and you still think you’re not hurting anyone because you made a homophobic joke or any LGBTphobic quote from a movie, a series or whatever, stop. Just don’t.

Don’t dismiss this matter as if we’re talking about problematic ships. This is serious. Nothing comes easy for LGBTQ+ people. Coming out is hard, feeling alienated is the worst and we deal with the jokes, the subtle threats, the hate every single day. When we turn to fanfiction, we just want to have fun like everyone else. But people rarely add trigger warnings related to hate against LGBTQ+ characters so we can avoid this sort of content. And in case you didn’t realize it, mocking someone can be a form of hate.

So I beg you. Please be mindful while writing homophobic acts, avoid queerbaiting and take a minute to look this list of slurs in other to avoid them in the future: one | two | three

Advice from real life LGBTQ+

Every character is so much more than their gender and sexuality. They have personal lives, careers, family, friends, opinions on so many different subjects. I highly recommend making a character profile so you explore this idea;

If they’re side characters, give them backstory: all you have to do is create a basic character sheet for them. What’s their favorite food? Favorite song? Do they get along with their family? What’s their fashion style? What’s their astrology sign? Bonus points for you if you research sun, rising and moon signs. (Don’t like astrology? Choose one of the results from 16personalities test or a Hogwarts house for them).

Yes, you can write fluff, friendship stuff, family stuff, happy endings for LGBTQ+. We want everything you can offer;

Give relationships more depth: and when I say give more depth, I mean write anything other than smut. Describe your characters doing normal stuff together, weird stuff, funny scenes, horror scenes, dramatic scenes, write them in alternate universes, use one of those OTP question prompts and create different scenarios for them;

Do your goddamn research: Go beyond the articles on Wikipedia, read books, research on awesome websites like GLAAD and The Trevor Project;

Talk to LGBTQ+: If you know someone in real life or online, talk to them. Ask them not just about that one specific subject you have in mind, but also about how kind of stories they would like to read/listen/watch involving LGBTQ+ characters;

If you can, find yourself a LGBTQ+ alfa or beta reader (I’m available to help out and I’m sure other people in the fandom can help you too).

Did I miss any topics? Do you have any suggestions? Let me know by commenting, reblogging or sending me a message/ask.

Happy writing/reading!

#creative writing #writing advice #lgbt+ characters #fandom critical #fanfiction #fanfiction 101 #long post

[this-is-a-podcast-fanblog]

hey so - this reply was written by me! I want to expand on this point a little past 280 characters

(when I say podcasts in this essay I’m specifically talking about fiction podcasts)

Podcasts are perhaps the only medium that has absolutely no gatekeeping. Writing books and stories requires help from big publishing houses - even if you self-publish, you’ll need a corporation like Amazon to provide the books for you. I actually have self-published before and I can *assure* you that gatekeeping is still present. TV shows and movies are also created by high-budget studios who re-hire the same famous actors to tell the same stories, except the white boy and girl who fall in love have slightly different lines. 

But podcasts? No barriers. No boundaries. You can get a $30 mic from Amazon, make a free podbean account, and start uploading episodes literally the same day. Sure, for a really high-quality production, you’ll need to invest more time and money, but it’s very doable. 

As such, almost anyone can get into podcasts. It doesn’t matter what you look like, because no one can even see your face. It doesn’t matter if you don’t have a fancy degree from a good school. It doesn’t matter if you don’t have a huge marketing budget, because if you’re smart with social media and create good content, you can get people to pay *you* for airtime on your show. 

Because the creator pool can be so diverse, it is. And the stories it tells are even more diverse! Want a Jewish gay man of unspecified race in a relationship with a Latinx scientist on the spectrum, who live in a town governed by two black women and populated by literally countless queer characters? You’ve got it! Want a story about a black nonbinary lady with depression who falls in love with an Asian man, who, bonus points, is also a well-written feminine gay man? You get that too! Want a crew of astronauts with women in leadership roles who are well rounded past being just a “strong female character”? Sure thing! A lesbian trucker searching for her wife, and actually having a healthy relationship that isn’t at all fetishized? Podcasts have that! You want shows that *actually* cast queer, trans, and non-white actors? Yes!!! Most popular podcasts do that!! Did you hear that - the *most popular* podcasts are created with diverse acting and creating bodies!!!!!!!

and here’s the part where I get personal. I’m a non-straight woman (I alternate between using the labels “bisexual” “queer” “homoflexible” and sometimes, because it’s quick and I’m mostly attracted to women and straight people don’t understand microlabels, “gay”) with several mental illnesses, including depression. The first podcast I ever listened to was Welcome to Night Vale. When Cecil and Carlos became a couple I almost wept. I had never, ever, had good queer representation in a show, much less two well-written characters I actually felt invested in. When they actually got married, I wept. I lay in my bed and cried for half an hour. I had never thought I would see a healthy gay couple in a show, ever. 

And then I found even more shows - shows like the ones I mentioned above. I found female characters. I found QUEER FEMALE CHARACTERS that I related to! And I found characters with depression written REALISTICALLY! I have never felt so seen!

I have so much love for podcast creators. One of my favorite things about this community is the allyship. People like Fink and Cranor, or the McElroy’s, who understand how important queer representation is, and provide it in abundance. People who validate, protect, and encourage their fans. Podcast fans keep podcast productions growing through Patreon or crowdfunding, and in return podcast creators... well, they rip our hearts out with emotions and eat them in front of us. But we love that!!!!

And this is why I’m so scared of podcasts becoming “mainstream”. Big corporations creating podcasts have nothing to gain from us except listenership. They’ll be sponsored by other large corporations, not fans or indie productions buying airspace. They can be “safe” when it comes to representation, and they probably will be. In short, they don’t have to create art. They can just create okay, nice enough stories. 

Podcasts are revolutionary. Do you know how many times I’ve seen a movie and said “that was a bad movie”? A shit ton of times! Do you know how many times I’ve listened to a podcast and thought “this is a bad podcast”? Never!! (Not fiction, at least - a bunch of “politics and current events” podcasts that I’ve tried turn my stomach). Even if the audio quality isn’t great, it’s always clear that the creators genuinely care about what they are making and the stories they’re telling and they’re not! Just! Adding! Representation! To be woke!

I genuinely might be dead right now if podcasts hadn’t come into my life. Welcome to Night Vale in particular - it has helped me fall asleep on nights when my intrusive thoughts felt like they were tearing me apart. It introduced me to this amazing medium and all the people who are a part of it. I don’t want to see this thing I love so much turned into a profit machine by capitalism. So I’m really, really nervous about podcasts becoming mainstream. 

TL;DR because the podcasting medium has essentially no gatekeeping, it can be very diverse, and it is. This has led to a great fan-creator dynamic of mutual support and created many positive examples of representation. If big studios and corporations are able to produce podcasts on large budgets with little consequence for a bad or boring story, they might drive the art form in a direction that makes it harder for smaller studios or indie creators to get into.

Please share your thoughts about this and also please follow my twitter. 

#podcasts #welcome to night vale #the penumbra podcast #wolf 359 #alice isn't dead #the mcelroys #the adventure zone #lgbt #joseph fink #jeffrey cranor #representation #my meta #meta #essay

[flying-elliska]

Skam France Season 6 Review

It’s that time, I guess. My feelings are, like many, mixed. I think I enjoyed the season more than most people here, but the ending was a massive let down. Overall it boils down to this : Skam France is great at moments and very bad at structure. A lot of my issues with the season is what is not in it. I saw so much potential that never quite materialized, and it left me frustrated. At the same time, Lola is a really cool character, her arc is really interesting, her relationship with her sister is one of the best things they’ve ever done, and the actors killed it. Loved La Mif, discovering other sides of Eliott, the urbex backgrounds, and Maya. A lot of fascinating character moments. This is definitely my second favorite season after s3 - at times I even thought it would equal it. Sadly, though, Skam France will remain a bit of a one hit wonder for me. Because they are so good at bringing up problems in a nuanced layering way - be it addiction, grief, eating disorders, internalized ableism, racist microagressions - but when it comes to resolving what they brought up, they default towards a ‘let’s all be nice to each other, hug or kiss, love saves the day yay !’ story. Which is, when you claim to deal with real world issues, simplistic, immature, and at times quite offensive. It works for s3, which is at its core a tale of self-discovery, self-acceptance and romance. But niceness doesn’t solve racism, and family problems aren’t solved with a hug, and addiction recovery doesn’t hinge on having someone to kiss, and the series came dangerously close to implying that at times. 

All in all, this is a show that often manages to be both brilliant and terrible at the same time. At least it’s not dull. 

Positives/Negatives/Meh breakdown :

Positives :

- Sisterly love : My favorite thing without a doubt is the relationship between Lola and Daphné. Flavie and Lula killed it. Almost all the clips that made me cry were the ones with the both of them in it. At the beginning their rivalry is so relatable to me : the responsible sibling who takes on too much burdens and is too controlling and parentified vs. the problem sibling who acts out to express the issues the rest of the family are repressing - i have been in both of those spots. you can see how they slowly realize that the gap between them didn’t need to be there, that it wasn’t their fault, that it was the result of their parent’s bullshit and even shittier circumstances. seeing them make little gestures to recognize each other’s pain, to nurture each other, to give each other support, but also to tell each other some unpleasant truths, was so incredibly powerful. Relationships between sisters can be just so...complex, and loving, and petty, and jealous, and supportive, and feral, and annoying, and understanding, and ugh, they made me feel all of that and more. I have a sister, and I have a relationship like that with her, and this season gave me some very important perspectives. Really, relationships between women aren’t explored enough, and this season really did this one thing excellently and if only for that, it deserves to be watched. That moment where Lola talks to Daphné about her self destructive tendencies...so important. I am so happy that Daphné was the one finding Lola in her tower of solitude, and the moment where she says ‘you pay too much attention to what other people think, Lola’ was the emotional turning point of the season for me, because it was Daphné recognizing Lola really cared behind her mask of coldness, but also that she was hurt by that and that she needed to love herself regardless of the love her parents didn’t give her ; and also that she heard Lola saying it to her and that it inspired her too, so there is this amazing reciprocity. It was so powerful, I’m still reeling from it. And it was a beautiful full circle from the beginning of the season. 

- Family of outsiders : the urbex gang was such a wonderful new group this season. It was bound to be tricky getting us to like this new generation, and I think they did a pretty good job. Even tho I wish we got to know them a bit more, they were all intriguing and interesting on their own, and the vibes of Lamif as a whole were just so fun and lovely. Loved the neuroatypical vibes I got from Sekou and Jo. Love that they introduced a trans guy character. Loved Maya as group mom. And seeing them warm up to Lola was really sweet. The social media of them hanging out was more or less the only good social media we got this season lmao. The urbex thing was a great symbol for Lola finding a home with the outcasts, a bit on the fringe of society, and the start of acceptance, of bringing her in from the cold. Maya and Lola’s relationship fit in that really nicely, especially the bits about them talking about their shared experiences of grief, and my favorite scenes with them is showing Lola that her scars can be beautiful and that her rough experiences are part of who she is. The way she didn’t take Lola’s bullshit was great, and even tho I think their relationship was rushed, overall they really fit well together. Love Maya’s character as a concept in general, this funky purple haired lesbian environmentalist with amazing sense of style, and I really hope we see her again in upcoming seasons. And finally, I also really liked Eliott and Lola’s friendship (except for the ending) - the fact that they understand this darkness that they share, but that Eliott has succeded in climbing over it, and so he can give Lola support, understanding, guidance. I loved that we got to hear a bit more of his perspective on mental illness, the good and the bad times, that we saw his passion for movies become more real. I loved the fact that they bonded over creative things and photography, too, and that she found a safe space in the video store. And even tho it wasn’t resolved properly, the scene where he comes to get her and punches Aymeric really made me cry. Also, BASILE. Best bro in law ever. Their scenes together were so homey and warm and sweet. They will have such a good relationship in time. Overall, I really like how central friendship was in this season, shown as so powerful and important. They could have done more with it but I love a lot of what we got. I am just a sucker for found family, man.

- Lola herself : I know she was a controversial character right from the start. She’s been called manipulative, selfish, out of control, toxic. And honestly at times...maybe she was a bit. I still love her. She is just so interesting to me. The lack of compassion towards her in the fandom was seriously depressing at times, and often felt like a symptom of something I’ve seen in a lot of different fandoms, ie the capacity to only tolerate moral ambiguity when it’s attached to attractive white male characters - and to only tolerate mental illness symptoms when they can be romanticized. In the end, she’s a struggling teen from a deeply dysfunctional family who’s had a very rough life, of course she’s not going to be well adjusted. All in all, I think she’s so brave, and she is a fighter. I adored her feral energies in the trailer. I also really liked her blunt honesty at times, even if it was sometimes hurtful and excessive. I think because I have the opposite tendency to be afraid to speak my mind, I really dig a character who isn’t afraid to speak the ugly truth. Even though, again, ‘the truth’ isn’t always cut and clear, and what Lola is often doing instead is listening to ‘depression voice’ who tells her to believe the worst in people. I find that fascinating, because in my experience, yes, depression comes with this terrible lucidity that makes you see through a lot of bullshit but at the same time, is distorting your perspective because of fear and shame, and kicking that, and disentangling your perception from that fatalism, is very complicated. I loved how genuine she was, how mature too sometimes through the pain, more mature than she should have been. It was rough watching her relapse, but I think the portrayal of addiction was pretty very well done overall, not romanticized and explained in a very coherent way. I wish the show had given her a bit more of a clearer view of her inner thoughts towards the end and let her apologize a bit more. And a clearer realisation that her parent’s lack of well expressed love didn’t doom her. But...yeah Following her really made me question my own - more hidden - self destructive impulses, linked to family shit, that pushes me to sabotage and isolate myself. Like Eliott said to her - it’s really a lifelong struggle. I think overall her arc was pretty satisfying, learning to step away from the edge, letting people in, seeing that she isn’t alone, accepting she deserves better and that her failures don’t doom her. That it is about getting up and trying again. Love her using her mother’s camera and wanting to get a phoenix tattoo, a perfect symbol for her. Also Flavie was amazing, she’s got a bright future ahead.

Negatives :

- No follow up to the assault storyline : The thing that I am, without any single doubt, most mad about, is the fact they didn’t bring up the sexual assault again. Along with Charles’ rape apologism, this creates a very dubious pattern of trivializing the issue ‘as long as it’s not real rape’. The fact that the morning after immediately turns to Elu drama is what sort of started my disconnect from the season, and the fact that they don’t bring it up afterwards even once made me angry. I think Lola, before going back to the hospital, should have told someone about the abuse she endured there, and should have told someone about Aymeric, even if only to acknowledge she wants to be done with that part of her life. Aymeric is like...Lola’s biggest villain, in a sense, he is a horrible predator but he also somehow represents her worst impulses, that part of herself that tells her she doesn’t deserve better, and I think that as a character, he was interesting, and he should have been adressed/exorcised better. If Lola was a real person, of course, she would probably have to deal with this in therapy, down the line, later, but as a story, never adressing this again left it unfinished. And this is really the kind of event you NEED catharsis and resolution for. Otherwise, it’s irresponsible.

- A generally overstuffed and disjointed structure : My biggest problems with this season are about what isn’t and what isn’t it. I liked most of the clips, I don’t have an issue with them going dark, strangely enough, but the way they were put together was just...messy. Like many people have said, too much stuff not properly adressed. Palm of most annoyingly useless subplot, the whole Tiff thing. Yes, it was cool comparing her clique to Lamifex and Lola realizing she wants nothing to do with those shallow fake bitches. Sekou hacking her account to replace it with pigeons, amazing. After that though, it should have been DONE, and in general, it should have taken a lot less time and attention. Comparing Tiff’s social media addiction to Lola’s issues felt like some trivializing bullshit. The whole thing was just so annoying. It would have been good if it had led to some discussion of social inequality but like...not this shit. Char, equally useless (although, cool actress, cool style). Another MASSIVE problem is the lack of follow through on big clips. A great thing about SKAM, usually, is that it shows you the aftermath of big moments - characters lying in bed, cuddling, talk to their friends, crying in the shower, etc. It allows the viewer to breathe and really get into the character’s perspective, to be comforted and process drama, and for the emotions to resonate better, to have space to develop richly. Here...we had Lola brush off her assault, we saw nothing after Daphné got her back from the tower thinking she could have killed herself, we learned that they had money problems and the father didn’t go to work and then that was never adressed again and the light was turned back on by magic (????), we saw Eliott go on a major bender and didn’t really see how he got better, etc. Big lack of introspective clips in the latter part of the season took me out of Lola’s head. It was all stressful and breathless, all intensity and no pause like one grating high pitch note instead of music, it felt oppressive, with poor contrast, and very badly paced. It made everything blur together and feel less relevant. The problem with that is it really takes you out of the story ; it’s hard to care when you know whatever is happening might not have a resolution, and it doesn’t put you in the shoes of the character. This was compounded by how mediocre the social media was, when it is usually used to bridge in the gaps. And then to finish : the structure was so uneven, especially in the second part of the season. Towards the middle we had some very short episodes with very underwhelming endings, and Vendredis that felt like non events, and there wasn’t a lot happening - and then, bam, ep 9, drama overload, almost like misery p*rn, and then a super rushed resolution in ep 10. Like they cared more about twists and giving the opposite of what was expected instead of solid coherent narrative and rhythm. The romantic back and forth felt repetitive as hell too. All in all, it made for a very unsatisfying live watching experience, pretty sure anyone who didn’t watch live would like it a lot more. 

- The last two episodes : Really, I could have overlooked all the problems with the season if they had given us a good ending, but...they really really didn’t. And contrasted with last season, where my problems were focused on the middle, for me the ending is really the worst part of this season. I didn’t dislike the controversial club clips, I liked having the insight into Eliott’s insecurities, but they should never have brought those up if they weren’t going to let him adress them properly. Having everything go to shit in Lola’s life at once felt like overkill - they really should have solved those problems earlier, and then dealt with a few ones properly, showed us Lola freaking out on her own, and taken out the bullshit at the high school. Thierry slapping her was also too much, he could just have said these clumsy things. She could have distanced herself from Maya instead of pushing her away again. Also, they really should have had this happen in episode 8 again, and given us a proper resolution. While the tower sequence was incredibly powerful, I pretty much liked nothing after that. It was so annoying that Eliott brushed off Lola’s apology because while he wasn’t wrong that he decided to get drunk himself, she still needed to apologize and actually state that she wanted to get better so she didn’t hurt her friends, so as a resolution it was very mediocre. Thierry recognizing they should have given Lola the choice to go the hospital was a step but really not enough. And the moments with Maya were cute sure but mostly cheesy and unearned. Same for the ending clip. Mostly it’s such an unsatisfying farewell to the old generation, and it really feels like they wanted us to force to move on - didn’t want to properly recognize the end of an era, gave us almost nothing about their BAC or their future plans, etc etc. Also, letting Charles talk and having Arthur and Alexia kiss again ? SO BAD. UGH. I will be forever disappointed they didn’t give us a Multi POV or at least sth better on social media. And not having Eliott’s POV or at least a real Elu conversation (pretty much all season...) so frustrating I will never not be bitter about that. So yeah. The season started so powerfully but went out with a whimper instead of a bang. That whole ‘romantic love solves everything!!!’ shtick...very undercooked tbh. 

Meh : 

- Mayla’s development : I wanted to stan them SO BAD. Like, wlw in skam (that doesn’t turn into a panphobic mess?) YES, all the way yes. Maya and Lola had great chemistry, great dynamic. I loved their first few clips, the kind of confrontational flirting, the boldness, it was like...damn girls ! we love a non useless lesbian ! But...somewhere along the way, their relationship really suffered from the wacky plot structure. They should have shown us more bonding before we got to the angsting (esp during first urbex night). Also, their first kiss was sweet but I hated the ‘you’re my addiction’ line and that kind of put a damper on it. I liked the scenes where they open up about difficult things, the love Maya showed to Lola’s scars, the dandelion symbolism was lovely, but it wasn’t balanced enough with other stuff, and I felt Maya was way too stoic at times. And I really, really didn’t like the ending, honestly. They kept a good balance all season showing Lola wasn’t relying entirely on romantic love, that her family and friends were also important - but saying ‘i’m okay as long as you’re here’ at the end...honestly that sounds unhealthy and codependent as fuck. I really wish they’d done a more subtle, taking it slow ending for them.

- The financial issues : Again a storyline with much potential that wasn’t dealt with properly. It’s really good that we got a main that wasn’t from an economically priviledged background. Especially it felt very relevant to Daphné’s storyline, with the shame she felt at her friends seeing her place, the pressure to make it work, tying into her ED, etc etc. But cutting off the power, the father not working going nowhere...it’s like the plotline meandered and then vanished into thin air. Instead of that, they could have given us a scene of Daphné freaking out over the bills like in OG w Vilde, keeping the focus on her for that plot because she’s the most affected ; and then in the end of the season the father taking them over from her and telling her he’s found another job and that those things shouldn’t be her responsibility. That would have been relevant, instead of just...a loose end.

- Family issues : The Lecomte family dynamic seemed fascinating to me at the start. The mom being this shadowy complicated figure. The inability of the father to deal with anything. Daphné being parentified, Lola becoming the symptom child. They could have done a lot with this, but in the end, it felt like it was brushed aside too easily by saying the mom sent letters so she wasn’t too bad and Thierry is making breakfast so he’s trying. Not enough. I wanted them to let Lola acknowledge she deserved better and that their parent’s crap wasn’t on her. That her mom should have looked for help and the other two shouldn’t have pretended everything was okay. In general, there is way too much pressure to overlook toxic parent behavior and I wish they’d been clearer about this. 

- Mental health portrayal : Some parts of it were really good. Showing Daphné’s ED, letting Eliott talk about his episodes and relapses, showing some of the dark sides of depression and addiction. They just needed to show more of the recovery, because that is often the representation that they lacked the most. I don’t blame them for showing the bad sides of the mental healhcare system (which is terribly outdated and dysfunctional in France, I’m speaking from experience) but they should have shown the good too. Like do they find recovery boring or something ? Because as a person w MI, that’s actually what I’m dying to see, and they’ve been a real letdown in that department. I also think they should have acknowledged that the Lecomte family has mental issues as a whole, that the mother should have gotten help, and the father probably needs it too (still think they should have gone to therapy as a group lol).

- Elu and Eliott’s development : Honestly, not a big fan of how they wrote Lucas in s5&s6, in a lot of clips he was the angry guy with a temper, I miss s4 Lucas who was so compassionate and showed real growth and emotional intelligence. Here it just felt like they were fitting his character to plot needs, and it’s so sad for a character who had such an amazing story development. Now, I loved the glimpses of domestic Elu we got, how Axel and Maxence really showed the intimacy that had grown between them, they really felt married with all the nonverbal conversations and touches, that was sweet. But it’s so annoying that they hinted at Lucas’s insecurities and Eliott’s lack of communications and just brushed it away with ‘oh they love each other they will be okay’ sure bitch but then show us how ? that’s the interesting stuff ? it really feels sometimes like the writer(s) didn’t like how strongly the fans focused on the romance when they wanted to be talking about MATURE dark stuff not that frilly fluffy romance shit *eyeroll* male writers who think they’re above that stuff is so annoying as is the conflating of dark and mature - anyway. Again I liked seeing Eliott in his element this season, he is really thriving, with his movie and the video store, and that made me very happy. I don’t think it’s unrealistic he didn’t make a lot of friends in uni - French university can be so isolating, there isn’t a campus or a vibrant social life like in the US, it’s a very common experience to feel lost and isolated for newbies and it was also my case - but ? Sofiane ? Idriss ??? They could have found a better excuse to implicate Lamifex in the movie making tbh, like Jo egging him on about her passion for directing or whatever, and Sofiane could have been there chilling with them it would have been so cool. I just wish Eliott would have had more of an arc like Daphné did. It wouldn’t have taken much, and since he is my favorite character, I will never not be disappointed at all the wasted potential. 

Yeah so in the end i think this was a very good story they didn’t entirely give themselves the right storytelling tools to tell. Like there is something in the way they prioritize certain moments over others that...I just find very frustrating and weird. So...flawed, but still very interesting overall.

#skam france #skamfr s6 #lola lecomte #mayla

[someoneintheshadow456]

Like I’m in THAT MOOD right now and someone in my ask box (which is acting strangely) asked me “are there any social issues that are unique to women that men don’t face?”

Yes. There is one. The idea of the “normal girl.” And it’s an issue that most feminist groups never talk about because 90% of the time they are complicit in it. 

In female spaces, there is immense pressure to conform, be it spoken or unspoken.  There is an idea that every woman has to have the same experiences, behave the same way, look the same way, talk the same way. Any woman who deviates from this extremely specific standard is shunned and demonized. These norms are made almost entirely by other women to use against their own. 

The idea of the “normal boy” however just doesn’t exist. While men do have pressure on how to behave, it’s mostly on how they express emotion (”men don’t cry”, “stop being such a pussy”). A man who behaves in an emotional manner “isn’t a real man.” However men allow each other to be diverse in areas outside of emotion. This is why when you hear tales of men being bullied for their interests, it’s usually the intensity of the interest that they are bullied for, not the fact that they have the interest at all. 

The “normal girl” standard is why female otakus and geeks are more prone to developing dual personality than their male counterparts.

It’s why neurodivergent girls bend over backwards to try to be “normal” in a way that their male counterparts do not. Which thus, is why certain mental illnesses like autism and ADHD go unnoticed in women. 

It’s why girls from certain racial minorities try so hard to change their appearance to look more like the majority racial group (”normal girls don’t have curly hair”, “real men want girls with small butts”). 

It’s why girls who hit puberty too early (”You must be a slut”) or too late (”Men don’t like sticks, they like women with flesh”) are so harshly body-shamed by their peers. 

It’s why for the longest time, “lesbian” was a catch-all word among girls to describe ANYONE who deviated from the norm. Because being “abnormal” in any capacity clearly meant you weren’t interested in men, thus attracted to girls, thus “not a real woman” and thus, a freak. 

The punishment for being a woman who doesn’t conform is unique to female spaces. These girls are ostracized, but so subtly that onlookers don’t realize it. These women are excluded from other activities with their peers with lame excuses (”sorry, our table is full”, “sorry, we didn’t order enough for you”). Catty and rude remarks disguised as concern are thrown at them regularly (”it must be hard liking x, you can’t get a man uwu”). Thus women on the receiving end of such bullying are often assumed to be liars because “they’re so nice, you’re just exaggerating.”  

And feminist groups know this. They know this and they use it to manipulate women to their advantage. “There’s a special place in hell for women who don’t support other women.” “As a WOMAN you have to vote for xyz.” “This thing has to cater to women. So let’s include these elements because everyone knows women think exactly the same way.” “If you like this thing instead of that thing, you’re a disgrace to women everywhere.” 

Anti shippers and neo-puritans who shame women for shipping “the wrong pairing” because it “normalizes abuse.” People who say that women who criticize Captain Marvel, Ghostbusters 2016 or any media deemed as “for women” have “internalized misogyny.” People who say that women who have the “wrong” political views or opinions “clearly just want some dick.” People who say that women who enjoy nerd content, horror movies, slasher films, or sexual content in general “normalize torture of women.” People who say that lesbians are inherently pure and have no desires of their own. TERFs and Radfems who try to sniff out trans women like drug dogs and will label any woman they deem not the standard as trans and thus “actually a man.” These people are all complicit in the “normal girl” idea. And they ALL have the gall to call themselves feminist and blame the standards they created on men. 

The next time you see a feminist say a woman has “not like other girls syndrome” or say that the idea of it is internalized misogyny, remember that it’s coming from a type of misogyny that they are perpetuating. It’s a type of misogyny that pervades all women’s spaces and so many women are hurt by it. 

#misogyny #misogynistic feminists #female misogyny #KILL THE NORMAL GIRL IDEA 2KFOREVER SERIOUSLY #there's no such thing as a normal girl #there's no specific way for a woman to act #stop acting like there is

[haroomata]

she cheated masterpost

hello. my name is Marisol. Her name is Mariela (she hates it, so I’m not gonna call her “Nat”, she’s going to be Mariela :) ) Mariela is calling me a liar when she knows damn well what she did. so, I’m gonna tell the full story. it’s a long one. buckle up. I met Mariela when I was 16 years old. I fell in love with her immediately. we are 21 now, and a lot has changed between the two of us. We went from the closest friends to lovers to literal enemies. I divided everything in sections so you can read about the ones you prefer uwu.

The toxic

·         We did not have personalities of our own. What I liked, she immediately liked. What she did, I did. If I was obsessed with MCR or Placebo, she was obsessed too. If she got a hobby like rollerskating, I did the same. We wanted to be as close as possible.

·         I did not have friends of my own. She did not let me. She was my only friend for years. Then I met my goth friend Nefee. We had an instant connection. It drove her crazy. She was super jealous and told me so. She would cry about it. I didn’t understand why. She probably thought I was going to leave her for Nefee, but then she was the one who… yknow. So, she started copying my friends Nefee goth style, the way she copied my music and movies and tv show tastes. Whatever. She befriended Nefee, because her jealousy drove her crazy. My other friend, ill call him N. We were friends since middle school. I tried reuniting him by my own. Cause I wanted to catch up about everything. She obviously got off work as soon as possible and went to our reunion because again, jealous af. She did the same thing with Nefee and befriended N.

·         This year we fought. Like a lot. Like A LOT. We would shout and cry and it was awful. When I had emotional breakdowns, she would pull my arm or shoulder tight to the point it hurt, and I told her multiple times: don’t do that. It scares me. It brings me bad memories of people hurting me. She said she understood. She kept doing it.

·         When we were in our worse times, we would post on insta like we were more in love than ever before. It gave us validation. It made us think yeah, we ARE cute together, yeah this is correct we should be together even though we were miserable.

·         Again, no lives of our own. For example, I opened this Tumblr to talk about my depression and suicidal thoughts. I told her, yes, I have a Tumblr, but its super personal, don’t read it. Because I had posted stuff about my sexual abuse and my suicide plans. She said she wouldn’t. She searched it and read all my posts. It was obvious too, because if I posted something like, I love The Cure or Winona Rider pics, she started doing the same. I confronted her about it. Asked her why she did that when she promised she wouldn’t. Cause again, I did not need her to know I was depressed or that I was raped or stuff like that. More fighting ensues, I reveal to her that I want to kill myself. Pure insanity. Horrible night. She apologizes. Whatever.

·         When I started dealing with anorexia, it hurt me a lot. I did not want to tell her about it. She knew I had weight issues, but no more than that. I did not want her to know. I later found out she was posting proana things. And it destroyed me. I almost broke up with her. Not gonna reveal what she told me, but basically, I was like oh god, because my dr had diagnosed me with an ED. I begged her to see a psychologist about the issues she was having, instead of self-diagnosing and posting proana things, because that hurt me. She started going. Then just stopped. And like, when I started going to a psychiatrist, she started going to a psychiatrist too. If one had a problem, the other did too. Similar diagnoses and everything. We were literally terrible together. Unstable and insane. Both of us.

·         We were terribly unhappy this year. Not much to say about that. Just miserable.

2018: First time at psychiatric hospital, depression and diagnoses

·         She supported me like no one else, ill give her that. She skipped work to see me and shit. I would send her secret letters through my family members because I couldn’t see her. We still loved each other dearly.

·         She supported me through all my diagnoses. Even when new ones started developing.

2019: When I realized something weird was happening

It all starts with her suddenly becoming distant. I thought there was something wrong with me. I didn’t understand anything. I didn’t understand why

a)    She rarely kissed me, she started to stop having sex with me

b)    She was always tired, didn’t want to go out almost ever

c)    I proposed to her, she said yes. Then weeks later changed it to a no.

d)    She hated her job but refused to quit because there were “friends there” (will talk about said “friends” in a second).

e)    She wanted to move out, because we lived together. I told her, ill go with you. She didn’t want to as much as I begged.

f)     She was just distant.

g)    I would text her and tell her I loved her, and she was just distant.

h)    She started to look for an apartment. Said she didn’t want to be a burden for our family anymore. I begged her to stay. She said no. Then we took a “break”. Since I knew she wanted to move out and could tell she didn’t feel as close to me anymore, I told her she could go back to her family while she looked for an apartment. Because to be fair, she was living rent free, with electricity, water, food, and everything she could ask for, and if she didn’t feel that close to me and wanted to find herself, it would be best to leave. Since what the fuck, you’re a leech and don’t care about me anymore. She said no, that she wanted to stay while she looked for an apartment.

i)      She was distant. And weird. And secretive. And we fought. A lot.

Her lies and cheating

Oh, fuck where do I begin

1.    She had a friend. I’ll call her “Friend She Has No Attraction To” because that’s how Mariela described her to me 😊 Friend she has no attraction becomes super close to Mariela from one moment to the other. Her friend is a lesbian. Keep in mind, at the time Mariela and I are lesbians too. So, she meets this lesbian friend. They start texting all the time. It all starts with chocolates. Friend she has no attraction to gives her chocolates. Then friend she has no attraction to gives her a teddy bear animal. That’s when I knew something was up. Because Mariela loved stealing the few friends I had, I thought: well its fair that I meet this friend, right? And stupid old me even though: if she’s close friends with Mariela, she could become a close friend of mine! Absolute idiot. I went to her work to meet this friend. I put on a nice dress and put on nice makeup and everything because I was so excited to meet her, and because I wanted to thank her for giving Mariela chocolates. Friend she has no attraction to is TERRIFIED to see me. I didn’t understand why. I was so ashamed and hurt. Friend she has no attraction to looked terrified of me and did not try to do small chat, just tried to get away as soon as possible. I now realize that she acted that way because she was into Mariela, she was gifting her things because Mariela was her crush, and she probably thought that if Mariela’s girlfriend suddenly came to her work, it was bad news. She was guilty. I didn’t understand at the time.

2.    So, I tell Mariela that her relationship with someone like that makes me uncomfortable. Because come on, she was obvious about how much Mariela was her crush. And I told her it made me feel bad. She understood at the time. Things kind of fizzled out. Things between her and the girl suddenly stop. She told me she stopped talking to her after that because she thought that was what I wanted, but that was a lie and ill tell you all about it in a second.

3.    So, I go into the mental hospital a second time. First time? Mariela did everything to see me. This time? She hardly visits. I didn’t understand why. I missed her. Again, I thought there was something wrong with me. I thought, yeah, we fight, but I love her and want to do things right with her. She hardly visits. After our breakup, my mom explained that she did not want to visit. My mom had to make her visit. And insist to her to please do so, because she didn’t feel like it. I found out later, that she would go on dates with her. Because she would tell my family how she went out to Holy Cow with some friend of hers and how much fun she had. She was with her a lot while I was gone. In fact, friend she has no attraction to came outside my house and talked to Mariela during midnight. All while I was at the mental hospital missing her. She was eating burgers. And chatting with her at midnight. Outside my fucking house. She worked with Mariela, and my brother told me they were obviously flirting when he would go to the supermarket and see them. While I cried my eyes out over her.

4.    I got out. I don’t know about any of that. I think were fine. In the hospital I met a friend who had a crush on me. But key word is he. I was a lesbian back then. I didn’t feel anything for him. I thought it was funny. I told Mariela and because she got jealous over everything, she obviously got jealous. She tells me she stopped talking to friend she has no attraction to because I told her to, which I did not tell her to do, and that she didn’t think it was fair to me to talk to him. So, I stopped talking to him. And I tell her she can talk to friend she has no attraction to. I didn’t know they had been going out while I was at the hospital: insert boo boo he fool picture. My family had not told me yet.

5.    Mariela tells me one day that friend she has no attraction to invited her to the movies. The friend who gifts her stuff and gives her compliments and hangs out with her all the time? Yes, that friend. To the movies. It sounds like a date to me. I tell her she can do whatever she wants, but that it would hurt my feelings. She acts like I’m insane for thinking its weird. Later, I found through screenshots Nefee sent me, Mariela was the one who invited friend she has no attraction to, not the other way around. Okay.

6.    She would be on her phone literally all the time. Back in the day, she would borrow me her phone if I wanted to. I knew the fucking password and she did not care. One day, were together. And I see that received a message. The message said, “let me know, my love”. It drove me insane. I cried and yelled and told her to explain what it means. She gives me a cold look and ignores me and tells me to calm down. Again, acting like I’m out of my mind for thinking somethings wrong. She doesn’t explain anything. I beg her to let me look at the convo she was having with the girl, just to make sure nothing was happening, she completely refuses. I beg and beg and beg for her to let me read what she was texting her, she refuses to show me. Then I go to my bedroom to cry. She gives me this shitty awkward ass explanation that friend she has no attraction to was quoting something she told another girl. With no “” marks or anything. Just repeating something she had told another girl. Literally the most idiotic lie of all time. Doesn’t let me read the texts. I believed her. After this, she stops letting me get anywhere close to her cellphone and changes her password. But I’m crazy.

7.    I start to wonder if I’m insane for being suspicious. Because she gaslights me into thinking that. So, I tell tell Nefee and some friends and even my own family. They all tell me she’s playing me. I don’t know what to believe anymore. Nefee starts snooping around. She finds interesting stuff. The most amusing one was a necklace. A few months back Mariela started wearing a necklace with a wolf skull thing. She starts wearing it every day. I ask her where she got it from. Because by that point I had realized her and friend she has no attraction to had something weird going on. She says her little sister gave it to her. Oh. Fine. I get it and move on. Don’t think anything of it. She wears it every single day. Whatever. Well, Nefee found pictures of friend she has no attraction to wearing the same necklace. In fact, she used it in every single one of her old pictures. Then she just stopped doing so. And you know what happened right after? Mariela started posting pictures with the necklace. It was so obvious. I asked her why she lied, she says “oh we must have bought the same necklace whatever you’re insane”. Worst fucking lie ever. I tell her well why did she stop wearing hers as soon as you got yours? She says I’m insane. Okay.

8.    On WhatsApp, the texting app, we had our description for months to an emoji of a cat (who represented her) a heart and a bunny emoji (that represented me). Those were our nicknames to each other. It was cute. Whatever. One day, I check her profile. She changed it to a cat, a heart and a wolf. What the fuck right? I asked her what the hell. She says, “oh some coworker must have done that not me I swear”. I later found out wolves are friend she has no attraction to’s thing. It represented her. Nefee months later showed me screenshots of how on insta they used the same emojis for their posts. But they were obviously not together 😉 She changed her description to something else, but not the cat heart and bunny. I didn’t understand why. On WhatsApp she would post obvious flirting friend she has no attraction to was doing and write “BEST COMPLIMENT IVE EVER RECEIVED HEART HEART HEART”. Told her it made me uncomfortable, because she was her crush and she should not act like she had a chance with her. She ignores me. Acts like I’m crazy.

9.    See, in insta it was cool for us to post about how in love we were to each other. But on Facebook? I did not exist to her. All her posts were jokes with friend she has no attraction to. All she does is tag friend she has no attraction to on shit. Friend she has no attraction to would share memes about “crushes”, Mariela would reply with “sorry for that 😉”. Its weird. One day I post on Facebook a pic of the both of us that says I love you. She immediately gets it off her profile page. I ask her why. She lies and says Facebook must have done something. I tell her how to fix it if that’s the case, she refuses. I ask why she would delete me telling her I love you and keep her profile to just her and friend she has no attraction to posts flirting. She acts like I’m crazy again.

10.  Now... Oh well. Fuck me up honestly. Whatever. She said she hardly talked to friend she has no attraction to anymore. So, I tell my family I’m heartbroken because I think there’s something wrong with me. Then it all starts going down. While I was at the hospital, she went out with her. While I was at work, she went out with her. Every time I wasn’t around, she went out with her. My family lives in front of where she works, so they saw everything. They saw EVERYTHING. She cheated. She fucking cheated. They were together. I was the only one who did not know. When I found out, I freaked the fuck out. I kicked her out of my house. She broke up with me. But I still loved her. So, I apologized. She said no.  Thank god she said no. She was with friend she has no attraction to. Everyone knew. But me. And even after I was told so, I didn’t want to believe. She would tell me she was alone and wanted to stay that way because she needed some time for herself. Then she starts posting how she’s in the best relationship of her life. I give up. She was with her. She had been with her. She didn’t pay attention to me anymore, because even though I was offering to her everything in the world I had, she was with her. It hurts. I want to kill myself. She was with her. She was with her.

Post breakup drama

·         Sometimes she sits down outside my house to make out with her girlfriend like a damn crackhead.

·         She watched my, my sisters, and Nefee stories with her cat account because we had her blocked in all the other ones. I didn’t have her blocked on frankieromakesmecry though, bc I was never there.

·         We made peace, then fought again, multiple times.

·         She has never given a sincere apology, acts like I’m crazy for asking for one.

·         One day I received weird comments insulting me and comparing me to a cockroach. I blocked the guy. Later I snooped his Facebook page. She was wearing the same uniform that Mariela wears. What a coincidence, right? So many fucking coincidences.

·         A few days ago, I made some stories about her. I received hate about it. She’s popular on insta. When she made a story about how she was going to expose me, obviously people came to her defense. Whatever. I tell her to please just tell them to leave me alone. She says fine and that I need to delete my Tumblr post to stop getting hate. I said I wasn’t going to, because this is my place to vent. She gets mad cause I called her ugly. Out of all the things I called her out on that’s the one that hurt her, LMAO. I just laugh. She has thousands of followers. I’m just a tiny blog that my mutuals read.

·         Next day, she says I deserve the hate and that I’m being a whiner. She’s the first person to watch all my stories, btw. I don’t get it. That same morning, we had said we weren’t going to talk badly about each other. I don’t get it. But I’m tired. I won’t stay silent any longer. I post she cheated everywhere. And now I’m writing everything that went down.

The end

Truly? I want this to be over. That’s why I’m finally telling everything that happened. I’m tired. I’m tired of being called a liar and that I’m insane. I’m tired. This is what happened. Do with it what you will.

Look, Mariela, I loved you. Since I was 16 till I was 21 I loved you. I know you better than you know anyone. And you know me better than anyone. I hope I find someone to make pancakes with at two am like we used to. I hope you find someone that plays you demi lovato covers at four am like I used to. I hope I find someone who gets me. I hope you do as well. Wish things didn’t have to be like this. But this is what you wanted. Goodbye.

#personal #drama #what happened

[maybeshelives]

gay things up

We should acklowledge more often the importance of queer represantation in mainstream media. (For the right reasons)

Sure, I can binge watch all six seasons of the L Word - and, trust me, I have - but I still have this undying thirst to gay things up a little. I feel unbalanced occasionally, as if there are still parts of my sexuality I haven’t really addressed, understood and embraced, which consequently urges me to focus more on my gay side rather than my sexuality as a whole: my preferrences in the type of people I sleep with, the type of sexual relationships I form, the things I (dis)like in bed, you know, the list is endless. It makes me think that all these years of repressing my sexuality have made me keep it in a box and just narrow it down to the gender I’d rather have sexual encounters with, which is a rabbit hole itself, all things (gender norms and stereotypes, personal beliefs etc) considered, and just get elated even by the implication that two men or women on TV are queer; neither examining if I like them as people, nor caring about their chemstry or the quality of their relationship, no. 

Just keep my standards to the lowest point possible and MAKE IT GAY AS FUUUUUCK.

Being queer in a world of heteronormativity is sometimes a double-edged knife; even your best LGBTQ+ allies are ignorant of your reality. 

Yeah well, my straight friends support me on my same sex relationships. But they also don’t really get them most of the time. “What are you talking about?” you will asked surprised, “romantic relationships don’t differ based on the gender of the people involved. It’s the personalitites that matter”. 

Well, yes. But also no. 

My straight friends can’t really understand the consequenses of being closeted for years, the fear of stigma, the fact that even in 2019 there are still people wishing all of us “degenerates” a slow and painful death (just watch Ellen Page’s amazing show called “Gaycation”; during the Brazil episode, the two hosts interview a serial killer who specifically targets gay people, because he believes that they’re worse than animals and the world should be cleansed by their filthy presense).

There are several bagages following us around, issues that straight people (thankfully) never had to face, like the fear of flirting with the wrong person (especially while being closeted), the fact that our sexual orientation is often times not being taken seriously, the fact that for ages there was a very small amount of LGBTQ+ representation in media, and sometimes it was played out for laughs, or even blatantly killed off (lately, there’s also the issue of “queercoding”or “queerbating”, which is rather complex itself), the fear of violence used against us on the street just for holding hands with someone; being marginalized at any level, a minority, ANY KIND of minority, sucks. Because the majority doesn’t even see you, at times.

But we exist. This should be written in enormous neon letters, and not in 8-sized Arial Narrow ones, as it very often is right now. 

No, J. K. Rowlling, I don’t want to have to wear rainbow-coloured strap-ons covered in glitter (wink wink, Sense8) and do my YMCA dance in order to have the revelation that Albus Dumbledore is fucking gay back in 2007. It’s not on print, it’s only a few words said during a sold-out book reading. You had your moment of gay-friendly glory and inclusiveness, but that’s it. During an entire franchise with dosens of presumably heterosexual characters, the single outed person (and one of the most important for plot progression purposes, too) doesn’t even get to have their own moment of gayness. Not even in the prequel, apparently (if you’re new to this, please watch the videos on queercoding I’ve linked above and you’ll be right on track). And you have the audacity to keep on doing it.

No, I don’t want to fucking speculate if Captain Marvel is queer either. No, I don’t want to wonder if Thor: Ragnarok’s Valkyrie is indeed bisexual. (Fun fact: It is being speculated that the two aforementioned characters will hit it off in the new Avengers: Endgame movie). Or the two Teen Wolf guys. Or Dean and Michael from Supernatural. Or several characters from Riverdale. Ugh, it’s exhausting. 

And even though it might come off as just another lesbian who’s trying to make it all about her sexuality, shoving it in straight people’s faces, I have to say that heterosexual people are pretty ignorant regarding even their own sexuality from time to time. And that’s problematic for everyone. 

Please, let me explain.

Not fully exploring and “owning” one’s sexuality primarily means that they’re missing out experiences they could, in fact, enjoy A LOT. From having sexual partners of all genders to being the proud owner of the best buttplug collection in an entire city, a good sexual experience that never takes place is a missed opportunity. I personally wouldn’t like to miss out on that, like the dirty, dirty hedonist I am. 

This missing-outness, self-deception and ignorance can go on for years, decades even. Just simply ask popular YouTubers or my (formerly gold star lesbian) ex-girlfriend (yes, the opposite is also possible). 

But, such a personal issue becomes public when queerness and gender & sexuality spectrums are not even seen as something that can be part of anyone’s psyche, especially in the majority of the population. Hence the marginalizing. LGBTQ+ substance, accodring to many people, is something out of this world. 

That’s what makes queercoding so annoying. Because it sends off the message that LGBTQ+ characters, romances and storylines are not important enough to be portrayed as openly and clearly as their heteronormative counterparts; they’re pictured as something that will never fully grow and be explored, since it isn’t as significant. 

So,why does mainstream representation matter?

In a world soaked in and based onto heteronormativity and whiteness, being LGBTQ+ inclusive has been mislabeled as “pushing an agenda”, where even childhood is being used as a deterrent, a queerness-repellant, which can also breed internalized homophobia.

“Don’t publicly show pictures of faggots kissing, children might see them”. “Dykes shouldn’t be allowed to adopt children, because they [the children] won’t have the right role-models, I mean, who will be the mom and who will be the dad? Plus they will also be bullied by other children”.

I was watching an Ellen Page interview on Stephen Colbert that took place almost two months ago, and I couldn’t help but notice how emotional she still gets every time she talks about LGBTQ+ problems (she has been very vocal about them since she came out as gay in 2014). “This needs to fucking stop” she says. 

And, goodness, it does. When the, among others, argument that equality for everyone shouldn’t be debatable still is seen as “cringey activism” by some, it becomes more than apparent why representation of any minority in the mainstream media matters.

Pop culture is like a huge educator. We tend to internalize images shown to us from an early age, we learn to normalize toxic behaviors and worldviews in the exact same way, and even if we can’t really control anyone’s parenting (and homophobia and lack of understanding and acceptance, unless it becomes abusive for the minor, and this abuse is apparent to other adults), there’s still hope that pop culture can bring the bigger picture, all the vieriety of human identity and experience, into our homes. 

As I’m thinking about it, I realize that I had never seen a (happy) lesbian couple on television or movies until I was about fourteen or sixteen. Ever. Like, ever. Needless to say, I have my fair share of images depicting straight couples in multiple situations.

So, if you’re not a queer person, a trans person or a person of colour or someone with special needs or mentally ill, and you’re also not convinced by my long-ass rant, consider this: What if you had never ever seen someone like you in a film before until you were fifteen? Or what if you had only seen stereotypical images and expectations of people like you, as a side story to someone else’s bigger and more “important” story? A side story as seen and perceived by the heteronormative gaze?

Or maybe as a joke? A joke that wasn’t made by people like you, people who truly understand what it’s like being you and the actually funny aspects of your own identity and struggles.

Wouldn’t you grow up thinking that you’re a little bit of a monster?

"Like when someone says he wants to watch the world burn. You only get to watch when you have the privilege of not being on fire. It's edgy, but it's not The Darkness. The Darkness is finding a way to laugh about being on fire".  - Natalie Wynn

---------------------------------

PS: I know that I’ve used too many embeded referrences, but if you’re interested in this topic, please take your time to examine them. They have broadened my horizons a lot, and gave me comfort and the validation that I’m not insane for feeling and seeing life that way.

#queercoding #representation #lgbtq #ellen page #mainstream media #minority #marginalization #queer

[curly-q-reviews]

FLIX FROM THE NET

Bird Box, 2018 (dir. Susanne Bier)

SPOILER WARNING THERE WILL BE SPOILERS DONT READ IF U HAVENT SEEN IT YET AND WANT TO

[TW: SUICIDE, MURDER, VIOLENCE, BLOOD, GORE]

well fuck its been a while!!  happy new year y’all hope u had a Fun and Safe time!!!  i for one was at a party where we started playing Shrek at exactly 10:39 PM to see if Smash Mouth’s hit song I’m a Believer started playing right at midnight and to my utter disbelief and elation it did!!!  move over times square ball drop a new arbitrary way of celebrating the start of a new calendar year is here and it involves a large green monster with a scottish accent who really loves his onions (#me am i right ladies)

WELL ANYWAY heres a fun new series ive been thinking of starting cause ya girl watches a lot of netflix movies and has many opinions about them.  i think i’ll do a separate post about the whole Netflix Original Film trend in general and how its changed the film industry at a later date but since i just watched the above movie not too long ago i wanted to get all my thoughts out there right fuckin now!!

netflix is without a doubt the OG king of streaming services, they were really the first to get the ball rolling and then dozens of other companies scrambled to latch onto this money train while it was rolling on the tracks full steam (or should i say.... stream EL;KGHS;EKFSH; please end me) ahead.  it started out as a rental subscription service where u could pick out three movies at a time to rent and then they were sent to u in the mail (like blockbuster but now you never have to leave your house ever again to get that sweet sweet rental content).  and then the decision was made to actually start online streaming, no physical DVD’s required!  ISNT TECHNOLOGY GREAT

well whoooo boy this shit swept the nation, people couldnt get enough of such a convenient and relatively affordable service and netflix started really raking in the dough.  and at some point they got rich enough to say “hey fuck it!!!  lets make our own movies baby!!!!”  and here we are now with Netflix Original Movies and TV Shows, which means a new player has entered the movie game in a very novel and innovative way.  why pay money for a movie ticket and leave your house to go to a theater when cool new movies are being released on a subscription service u already own to watch movies you already know and enjoy?  and then u can sit butt-ass naked in ur bedroom alone stuffing ur face with cheese puffs like an insatiable cheddar beast and see something new and fun and interesting

ok so.  Bird Box.  here we have a movie based off of a book (so i guess this also counts as a Book Movies review but I DIGRESS) starring hollywood powerhouse sandra bullock, featuring Supreme Lesbian Overlord Sarah Paulson and Resident Crazy Old Man John Malkovich, directed by a relatively unknown but competent female filmmaker Susanne Bier (who also directed Things We Lost in the Fire in 2007, a moving drama starring Halle Berry).  this one definitely has a lot of proimse compared to what netflix has offered so far in terms of their original movies (im gonna get into Dumplin’ at a later date cause jesus christ what a mess) and i went in with pretty high expectations

did it deliver???  well uuhhhh yeah sort of i guess!!  we got some pretty strong performances from our leading lady bullock who really does deliver it every time, a few strong supporting roles like newcomer Trevante Rhodes of Moonlight fame (his energy on screen is just so compelling and soothing), not overly obnoxious child actors which is really all u can ask for, and overall a solid story. 

now heres where i gotta say that i couldnt help comparing this film to another movie of its kind, directed by the notorious M. Night Shyamalan.  y’all remember The Happening?  cause i remember The Happening.  i remember that it was total shit and that the twist was that it was the fucking plants making everyone kill themselves.  the PLANTS.  and i also remember mark wahlbergs dumb-ass confused face that he used in every single shot no matter the context, im AMAZED i remember zoe deschanel in this movie cause she may as well have been one of the killer plants with how little she emoted, and i remember mark wahlberg yelling at a fake office ficus and apparently i was supposed to be scared while watching this clusterfuck. 

the way that this movie was described to me by friends who had seen it before me was basically that Bird Box is a slightly better The Happening, and no truer words have ever been spoken.  we basically have the same premise going on here:  unknown force is causing people to off themselves, our lead(s) have to try and find a way to escape this unknown force without even knowing what it really is, and theres some sort of “sanctuary” they gotta try and get to (which is a common plot point in really all apocalyptic and post-apocalyptic films).  now whereas The Happening’s rules for this scenario make entirely no fucking sense (how in the fuck are u supposed to be able to out-run WIND???), Bird Box has some rules for dealing with this Unknown Thing that make slightly more sense.  when u open ur eyes while outside, the chance of the Thing making u kill urself in some horrific way is extremely high, so wear a blindfold when ur outside and keep all windows covered when ur inside.  makes sense!  thats something i can believe and get behind which makes me more immersed in the story!

unfortunately like The Happening there are still some little things that kinda dont make much sense and take u out of it.  apparently some people when they see this unknown entity dont wanna die, but instead find it absolutely beautiful, which makes them want to make everyone else look at it to see how beautiful it is.  and its insinuated that these people are mentally ill or have some sort of psychiatric issue.  i get that this adds more stakes to the situation and ups the ante, but it doesnt really sit well with me that once again, mentally ill people are the villains in a horror-type story.  and i also dont really understand why theyd then wanna go around and make other people see the thing??  unless the thing has them in a mind-control state or something and is making them do its bidding but that seems kind of a weird thing for an all-powerful evil formless entity to do. 

and that leads me to the next issue i have with Bird Box.  if ur gonna have an apocalyptic scenario where people do something as serious as kill themselves due to an unknown cause, it almost seems a little cliche and cheesy to have it be some sort of mythical celestial god-like or demon-like entity thats doing the damage.  i actually really liked where The Happening was going with its source of all the chaos being something naturally made, like the Earth deploying some sort of self-preservation mechanism or something.  the idea of that to me is actually loads more frightening than some invisible boogeyman that u cant look at.  and then Shamalamadingdong had to go and make it stupid by saying that it was fucking plants trying to kill people by releasing pheromones or some shit.  like why cant we have the best of both of these??  something naturally-occuring that maybe has even happened before in the planets history (maybe it wasnt a meteor that killed off the dinosaurs after all??), that isnt FUCKING PLANTS, and that doesnt do cheesy shit like make ur eyes turn grey and bloodshot and like whisper to u telling u to take ur blindfold off (i swear that happens multiple times it was pretty silly)

thats another thing, this movie’s tone is all over the place.  there are some moments where a more light-hearted tone is needed to break up the tension, for sure, but it almost as if the writing and dialogue werent really taking this serious of a story as seriously as they should have.  weirdly placed jokes are all over the place, there were some moments where the dialogue made me cringe cause it was so awkward.  bullock’s character gets to have some good breakdown moments which help bring the tone to the level of somberness and despair it should be at, but all the other supporting characters dont really get the same space to process whats happening to them, so it kinda comes off like they arent really affected by, say, their wife throwing herself into a burning car right in front of their very eyes. 

overall i’d still say this is a worthwhile watch, especially considering its a netflix movie.  if you’ve ever wanted to see a not-as-horrible version of The Happening that has some deeper metaphorical stuff going on about motherhood and family and shit than this is for you.  the production value is overall pretty solid (though when it comes to cinematography i actually prefer The Happening from an artistic standpoint) and sandra bullock knocks it out of the park.  go check it out if this seems like something thats up ur alley!!

ok bye for now hopefully it doesnt take me six months to write another review but we’ll see!!  my brain is a mystery and time is an illusion HAPPY 20-BI-TEEN Y’ALL

#curly q reviews #bird box #netflix #book movies #flix from the net #the happening #m night shyamalan #sandra bullock #sarah paulson #john malkovich #trevante rhodes #horror #thriller #movies #films #netflix original movies

[endlesslovewitch-blog]

Busted myths about fictophilia / schediaphilia

Hi! I’d like to get the word out since I’ve seen lots of wrong assumptions circulating about this. Fictophilia is a romantic and/or sexual orientation which covers exclusive attraction to fictional characters in animation and movies (no, not the actors). It’s not a fetish, disorder, or solely a type of attraction, but an orientation one is born with, just as valid as any other*. It has nothing to do with lusting after those characters sexually as a fan. *There are people who are attracted to other people and fictional characters in that way. In that case, their orientation is whatever they identify with. I’d like to help you understand who we are and what we’re not by responding to the most common statements aimed at us. This has gotten pretty long so I put all the answers under a cut.

It’s not real! / You’re kidding, right?

No, it’s very much real. We feel genuine romantic and/or sexual attraction of the same sort that alloromantics/allosexuals experience towards people.

How can you tell if you’ve never been in love with a real person?

We can compare our romantic feelings to others’ and reach a conclusion that way. Furthermore, once you fall really hard for someone, you just know, right?

But they’re not real! How is that possible?

Oh, are they not? I’m so sorry, I totally didn’t re– yes, we know they don’t exist, you don’t have to pretend showing concern for our mental health. They have a personality. Many of them have a voice. Isn’t that enough for falling in love?

If not, you can also say you can’t have a crush on someone you’ve never interacted with. It’s essentially like being in love with a celebrity (although we don’t get why loving a celebrity is far more accepted since all the circumstances are the same, except that those characters don’t exist.)

You’re saying that because no one likes you!

It’s actually the opposite. If someone falls in love with us, we’ll have to reject them because we lack attraction.

You’ve just never been in a real relationship!

This may be true for some of us, but not for all. (Those who haven’t been are better off than the others, trust me.) 

However, we don’t contend that we’re fictophiliac for that reason.

We simply lack attraction to other people, so we have no reason to get into a physically intimate relationship in the first place. Just like everyone else with a non-heteronormative orientation, we don’t have any obligation to try all kinds of different things before we can be sure who we are. You’re in no place to decide that. I’m 24 years old, I’ve been in love with the same character for 8 years, I’ve never loved a real person in the same way, but I’ve been in a physically intimate relationship I regret.

You’re exaggerating! / You’ve watched too many cartoons! / You’re taking fiction too seriously!

I suggest you take a look at your own fandoms and all the bashing within before saying that we’re the ones taking fiction too seriously.

You’re delusional.

Guess what, we still reconize the characters as fictional and know that we can never be with them unless we establish something for ourselves. Once that happens, it can be seen as a long-distance relationship. Where’s the problem? That we don’t get a response from their side?

That may be an issue that causes complications for us but it doesn’t make our emotions for them less real. And, surprise, it is entirely up to us how we deal with that. It’s not a problem you have to deal with. On the contrary, we’re not out there to hurt anyone - we’re literally just daydreaming like everyone else in love.

You’re those obsessed people who spend their days holed up in a room full of merchandise and claim to be married to fictional characters.

Again, no. That isn’t us. Many of us are capable of a healthy social life. Some may choose to get married to a character “officially”, but I am personally grossed out by that concept.

I’d never file for a marriage certificate because I’m not forcing anything on the character I love, I’m not disrespecting them, I’m respecting my own feelings, and I’m not into doing something so simple that everyone could do without a connection to them.

As a child, I created OCs to ship with the canon characters I had a crush on, but I never did so openly - only to cheer myself up because I knew from the beginning that it wouldn’t be taken seriously.

Most of us don’t claim the characters to ourselves. If so, chances are that the person is either very young or doesn’t really love them. If someone starts a fight, that’s a problem with the person, not the community.

Here, it’s important to stress the difference to fankids who keep shouting “THEY’RE MINE ALONE!!” (Guys, that’s embarrassing. No wonder no one believes us.)

Some of us forge a connection through dreams or on the spiritual plane in order to cope, but we still have ties to reality - remember that we’re constantly confronted with society’s standards wherever we go, from elementary school days on.

Even if we do collect tons of merchandise, that means we’re supporting the sales of something you enjoy, too.

Also, no real fictophiliac would present themselves in media like the otakus you see on TV. We have self-respect.

As a side note, anyone who uses the terms waifu or husbando to refer to characters unironically is most likely not fictophiliac. Being thrown into the same category as those is offensive to us with actual non-fanbased feelings for those characters. We don’t lust after them like overzealous fans, and it hurts being compared to them.

You can‘t compare yourselves to the LGBT community!

True. We don’t face any of the oppression the LGBT+ community does.

Let’s focus on a different aspect that matters: the self-discovery process in our minds which is similar to anyone else’s with a non-heteronormative orientation. We grow up in society and learn that we’re only supposed to love other people. We’re told our identity is childish and just a phase. In fifth grade, I was certain I’d soon grow out of this and fall in love. When I noticed I didn’t feel  attracted to boys, I believed I was a lesbian. So I mistook a strong platonic attraction for romantic attraction and got into a relationship (after all, I was taught that my feelings for those characters were supposedly different from what actual love should feel like). That is very similar to what aromantics and asexuals go through before they realize they’re not broken.

You’re making this up in order to mock LGBT+ individuals who face oppression in daily life!

Wrong. We’re not part of LGBT+. We’re also not asexual or aromantic for being fictophiliac. I’m writing this to let you guys know we exist, not to claim a label that isn’t ours to claim.

Aren’t you aromantic and/or asexual by default?

I don’t consider myself aromantic because a) going by that label would be unfair towards aros who don’t feel romantic attraction at all, and b) I don’t like erasing my own existence by claiming not to feel something that I do.

I’m asexual because I’m asexual, not because I’m fictophiliac. However, some may choose to go with either label to explain our lack of attraction to people without getting demeaned.

How exactly are you struggling?

- being unable to express our feelings to the character in question and getting rejected by them before we start getting too desperate

- dealing with friends and family members who expect us to date and have children (equally to aros and aces who are told “you haven’t met the right person yet” - but joke’s on them, some of us have indeed)

- if we open up about who we like, we’re always going to receive strange looks; dealing with prejudice, ignorance, dehumanization

- our feelings are constantly played down and mocked even by fandoms (I don’t understand - why are our feelings less valid than other people’s? It’s not like we value our platonic or family relationships less than anyone else.)

- even if we managed to establish some sort of relationship, we can’t be open about it like everyone else; there are always going to be others who like the same character; comparing ourselves to those makes us lose confidence in our own qualities

- getting insulted for no reason with ableist language

- being confronted with the importance of “real” romantic / sexual relationships and the fact that we’re never going to have what others call essential for happiness (physical partnership, marriage, children)

- if we achieve happiness without those things, no one believes us

- spending our whole lives feeling broken, hoping to fall in love “normally”, forcibly getting into unfulfilling relationships, betraying our feelings, trying to fix ourselves (plus getting demonized if said relationship doesn’t work out)

- feeling alienated as though we don’t really belong into this world

- if someone like us comes out to media, they are ridiculed and humiliated

- suicidal thoughts, mental illnesses, mental scars, lifelong lovesickness resulting from all the points above

I hope I could provide you with an insight. It’d be nice for our existence to at least be acknowledged instead of trampled on. Please feel free to ask if you have any other questions! What to do with this information is up to you to decide. (But come on, do you really think I’d waste hours on writing this post if I wasn’t serious?)

Thank you for reading!

#schediaphilia #fictophilia #fictional other #fictosexual #fictoromantic #reposting this because I changed blogs

[blackqueercharacters]

Conversation Starters w/ Zamara Perri

I had the chance to interview Zamara Perri of Black Lesbian Love Lab and decided to post my favorite parts of the interview here. The questions from me are in bold. Zamara is wonderfully hilarious and currently in need of Facebook friends so don’t be afraid to add her! And like the site’s fan page!

In one of your videos, you mentioned how you started the blog because you needed relationship advice.

Yeah, I did. I knew from the very beginning that I liked women. I was like three years old and I was messing around with other girls but I was very closeted. Deeply closeted and very much into the church. My family members were a part of the church and I didn’t find a lot of support or acceptance from them so I felt I needed to hide myself. So when I was coming out of a really important relationship I couldn’t find anything besides cute pictures and I was like I really want to talk about the issues that I’m struggling with and I couldn’t find anything else about relationships. It would be either advocacy groups or gay white men decorating their cute house that they’ve gentrified. So I just couldn’t find anything that related to me and I was struggling really hard. It was hard for me because I didn’t have any real lesbian friends. I didn’t have that kind of community. And my straight friends even the ones who were accepting...there are just some things that they don’t understand about our culture. So I was just like I’m going to write a little diary online maybe no one will know and then one of my exes was like you really should do this. And so I kind of kept going.

Have you been on a dating app?

I haven’t. I mean the last time I was single was 2014 but I did a lot of internet dating.

So you wouldn’t have any advice for people on dating apps?

I would have advice for people who were online dating. I’m actually in the process of writing an eBook on online dating because I feel like I keep getting these crazy stories of people who meet and fall in love and are engaged with someone they’ve never meet. So I do have advice for people who are online dating. It doesn’t matter if you’re using an app. The long and short of it is that online dating… using apps for black lesbians it’s going to be abysmal.

It’s pretty dry out there.

It is. Most people meet people on Facebook or Instagram. But a dedicated app for black women who are interested in dating other women… the apps are just kind of sucky. Because number one those apps have men who are interested. I don’t know what they think is going to happen when they find out “oh you’re actually a man, this isn’t what I wanted but since you’re here I’m going to change my mind.” I don’t understand it. And a lot of it is really white. And even if I want to date a white woman maybe I just want to have some options.

Have you dated a white woman?

No. I tried but… I’m not interested. I love black woman and that’s what I want to date.

What’s off-putting about that for you?

So what’s off-putting about it to me is as a black woman I don’t want to have to compromise or curtail my conversation because I’m a minority. I don’t want to be a minority in my own family. In my own house. I don’t want to go to family events and have to be careful about what I say because it may offend some great aunt somebody who’s white. It’s just not my interest. I mean there are people out there who do it and we showcase interracial couples on our site all the time and it's a wonderful thing. I think love is beautiful wherever you find it. But me personally I prefer to date and be with black women because I think we are amazing and that connection is beyond anything I’m going to have with another woman from another race and it’s not just… I hate when people say stupid things like you’re being narrow-minded. That’s not true. For many centuries we couldn’t choose who we wanted to be with and how we wanted to live our lives and how we wanted to love and now I’m choosing it  and I’m choosing to be with somebody who looks like my mother, looks like me, who looks like my aunt, who has the same struggles.

Have you experienced relationship problems specific to the fact that you are a black lesbian?

Yes. So one of the things my partner and I talk about all the time is the fact that women are emotional creatures. I think men are too. I’m not going to say that men aren’t emotional but it’s just that they’re socialized differently so they’re not as in touch with their emotions as women tend to be. So we have the issue of…I honestly think that a lot of black women are depressed so you have sexism, you have depression, undiagnosed depression or mental illness and then you also have the fact that you are basically an outsider in every way. So I think that sometimes makes the relationships a bit more difficult. You’re excluded from… basically excluded from church for the most part because they don’t agree with your “lifestyle”. Your parents are disappointed because you’re not married to a man and then you don’t realize that your emotions are probably flat in some ways like you might not realize that you’re depressed. On top of that you have to go work and if you’re a femme you have to like play along and pretend that you’re interested in you know like some guy’s flirtation because you’re trying to keep your job and you’re trying to be like the chill co-worker. So I think all of these things come together and they can make it a little more difficult for us. Those… all those things I think, that unique combination is unique of course to black lesbian women and so that can make it a little bit of a challenge for us.

There is a lot of internal homophobia in the black community…

Absolutely. In every community not just in the black community it’s just that were more intimately familiar with it because we have a culture that’s very oppressive and very puritanical. The internal homophobia thing, the reason that that’s a problem, and I talk about this a lot on my blog and on my show as well, our bodies are not betraying us. Our minds are not betraying. But we’ve been taught to think a certain way and because we’ve been taught to think a certain way when our bodies align with who we are we feel betrayed and so we have people who want to be in a relationship with someone of the same gender but the indoctrination that they’ve had since childhood and just from society overall makes it very difficult for them to be who they really are. So that being free in who you are and loving yourself and loving who you’re with, it’s tough for us. I mean there are a lot of black women who discover late in life that they are a lesbian or I don’t think they discovered it later in life…

They accepted it?

They accepted it. Right. Not to say that somebody can’t go their entire life and not realize they like women. I think maybe they didn’t take it seriously.

Didn’t you just have an article about that?

I did. But what I’m saying that some people. You didn’t think it could be a possibility so you just didn’t entertain it. I had a very rich fantasy life as a child so I fantasized about being with women all the time. But there are some people who wouldn’t even dare let themselves do that. So when it got to a point where they’re like “oh wait I can actually do this and it’s not going to be as horrible as I thought it was. Let me give myself permission to accept the fact that I like women.”

In your eBook, you talked about all the advice you’ve got from all the couples you’ve interviewed. Is there one particular tip…? I know communication is super important but besides that what do you have.

Off the top of my head, I would say compassion is the most important part of having any successful relationship. A lot of times we can only see things from our own perspective and if you’re only looking at your own perspective then, of course, your partner is always wrong and they’re always the bad guy. It’s really easy to… we all star in our own movies. We’re the superheroes of our own movies. We’re always the wronged one. But I think one of the best things we can do is realize that most of us are just doing our best and so if we look at our partners with compassion, you know just stop for a moment and think “okay clearly this person isn’t trying to harm me.” There are some people who are but I think most of the time it’s not about this person being the villain its’s just really that they have a different perspective and it’s up to you both to do the work to try to understand each other.

#black lesbian love lab #zamara perri #black lgbt #black queer women #queer women of color #lgbt #black lesbians #lesbians #black women #lavandnoir #black qwoc #interviews

[01sentencereviews]

top 5 people of 2017?

carrie fisher: though she unfortunately and prematurely passed on december 27th of 2016, carrie fisher remained present throughout 2017, and i welcomed every moment and memory of her free-spirited, honest persona and her supernatural, brilliantly brass etherealness. as i wrote regarding abbas kiarostami’s passing on last year’s list, the untimely death of a person often results in a strange re-infatuation with that individual’s career and life, sadly helping to remind us all of just how unbelievably important and inspiring their past words truly were, and still are, to many of us. as an unapologetic mentally ill person and one of the biggest, most charismatic movie stars to ever grace us with her incomparable wit and aura, carrie fisher truly felt one-of-a-kind. she would have absolutely championed this current women’s movement in her own industry and the entire workforce, one where women no longer choose to sit silently in the face of violence from overly powerful and manipulative men, women who demand to finally be treated with respect and to be listened to, striving for an environment where anyone who finds themselves lower on this fabricated, but highly protected and followed hierarchy of people can still feel safe. she proved with her past hilarious and gutsy acts that she would have supported these victims and survivors. she would have wanted to be there to protect them, as she also has for many of us throughout her time as an advocate in the public eye. seeing fisher with an extended role in star wars: the last jedi, reprising her iconic role without ever missing a single beat, certainly made me miss her even more :( …we still miss you, carrie. we still love you. and we always will. 

david lynch: it had been 11 years since inland empire hit theaters, the last time david lynch had gifted the world with a feature “film” from his twisted mind. after years of twitter announcements, financial and business setbacks, and never-ending, completely unreasonable and incorrect fan speculation, twin peaks: the return finally started airing on showtime this past may and i’m still not over it, and i most likely never will be. it confused, angered, and rejuvenated (notably, a very small amount of) viewers for an entire summer, and became the yearly example many film lovers and fans use to debate, experiment with, and restructure our understandings of what film/cinema “is” and what any and all art has the ability to conjure up in us all, from our most primal of emotions to our most complicated of perversions. lynch is simply a master of the surreal, a surreality which has never felt more welcomed in my life than it has during this past difficult year. 

jordan peele: jordan peele is certainly the breakout writer/director of the year. i was familiar with his previous comedic work, but not enough to predict just how much of an impact peele would have within mainstream entertainment culture, helping to cement this more respected social thriller as a legit, respected, and welcomed trend, which is again beginning to find a necessary focus in the industry given the undeniable proof of our current more outwardly racist culture. get out electrified pretty much the entire moviegoing audience thanks its first-hand understanding of everyday, “liberal” racism in america, depicted with low-budget, but high-concept uses of dark comedy and violence to satirize distinct fears black americans experience today. peele may also be inspiring other filmmakers (cc: dee rees’ upcoming lesbians-in-rural-america horror film) to partake in this exciting, reenergized genre, and we should expect even more from peele himself whenever he finds the time in his busy schedule. 

nicole kidman: did anyone have a more prolific, celebrated year in front of the camera than nicole kidman? big little lies… top of the lake: china girl… the killing of a sacred deer… the beguiled… those are just the projects of hers i was able to see, and kidman shines in each production, in multiple conflicting, recognizable, and traumatic ways as an actor. this list doesn’t even include her performance in 2016′s lion, which she spent much of the first few months of 2017 promoting and receiving awards attention for, or her upcoming performances in more widely released projects in 2018, like john cameron mitchell’s how to talk to girls at parties and karyn kusama’s destroyer to name only a couple. she is one of the most respected actors of her generation and she is only continuing to exemplify that we haven’t even seen her peak yet!!

tarana burke + the “silence breakers”: tarana burke is credited as the founder of the #MeToo movement, a phrase she originally came up with in 2006 while searching for the right words to describe her own experience with sexual violence and to provide a verbal sense of community with other women, particularly black and brown women, who had survived similar violence and abuse. this movement has greatly impacted hollywood and the entertainment industry, thanks to people like alyssa milano, rose mcgowan, lupita nyong'o, and dozens and dozens of brave women and men, who have shared their stories depicting the sexual violence and misconduct they have experienced in their careers. their stories, some eerily similar to one another’s about the same hollywood predators, are helping to create an environment where the “less” important voice in the industry absolutely refuses to be silenced. obviously, the industry is still picking and choosing which predators they deem more valuable and are therefore still allowed to be celebrated and rewarded even while making their work environments unsafe, but these stories and protests have finally began resulting in some justice, even if not nearly as great as it should be. 2017 has been an important year for all silence breakers and protestors, not just those in the entertainment industry, but for all people who feel disenfranchised, targeted, and disrespected by the same individuals elected to serve and protect them. hopefully, our voices will only continue to become louder and more heard as time goes on. 

#anonymous #carrie fisher #david lynch #jordan peele #nicole kidman #tarana burke #silence breakers #best of 2017 #lists #q&a

[overthestars-and-offtoneverland]

So I’ve talked about this before, but not on Tumblr

So, the Heathers 2018 thing... Not a fan. It seems more like it’s putting in LGBT+ characters to say that it has LGBT+ characters. I’ve also seen it argued that it’s not even going be GOOD representation and that it’ll more be like a joke. One thing can be agreed that it’s not going to be doing the original Heathers justice at all and screwing up the point of the story. Want more representation? Awesome. But, this isn’t the way to do that. And now I present: 

“Ways To Make Heathers More Diverse Without Fucking It Up In 5 Easy Steps” 1. If they wanted it to be an outcast thing they should have made Chandler the lesbian and Duke transgender (I think a trans Duke would work in either direction. A closeted Duke that wears men's clothes when alone and calls himself Heath. Or a Heather that hides that she used to be Heath), but had them both be closeted because they don't want to be ostracized. Maybe put a bit more emphasis on Duke’s eating disorder (it can either be connected to their gender dysphoria or just a separate problem) and use that toward her outcastness (it’s obviously a problem that she doesn’t treat as a problem because she doesn’t want the student body thinking less of her, especially since she’s already second fiddle to Chandler).  

2. McNamara would stay the same because she was already an outcast among the Heathers (she can stay a POC, the musical proves that race doesn’t impact the story) because she had depression and anxiety. If they wanted to exaggerate her mental illness and kick it up to minor schizophrenia or something, that could also work and it would contrast with JD's sociopathy because JD wouldn't have hallucinations or emotional problems (visible ones), but out of the two he's the dangerous one. (Yes, I know this is extremely difficult to get right because writers don’t usually know how to write mentally ill people without demonizing them. But if they actually take it seriously like certain scenes in the film and musical are, I think it could work.) 3. Picture it, guys. A bisexual Veronica. One that becomes a Heather because Chandler had a crush on her. Betty/Martha (depends on the direction they wanna go) is actually her ex girlfriend she's friendly with because they only broke up because of the Heathers (optional, really). And when JD steps into the picture you get an obviously jealous Chandler. (You know, for more inclusive options) 4, Leave Kurt and Ram alone. If the alpha mean girls are LGBT+ and closeted, then it gives the fake suicide due to “hiding their gay love” more weight. 

5. Treat J.D. like a sociopath. Don’t make him a misunderstood dreamboat. His backstory is sad, but he’s still a murderer that manipulated his girlfriend into being one too and then proceeded to stalk her and threatened to murder her when, SURPRISE, she didn’t consider murder the answer to high school drama. Support for my suggestions: 

Lesbian Chandler:

1. In the movie, she’s obviously disgusted performing sexual acts on guys, but does it because she thinks she has to to stay popular. 

2. She seems to kinda hate herself for giving in to these guys (angrily spitting at herself in the mirror after being coerced into giving a college guy a blowjob). Not to say that she has to be a lesbian for these things to be true. It’s not fair for anyone to be in that situation, it would just be heavier.

3. In the movie, Veronica is part of the Heathers with no explanation other than Chandler recruiting her for some reason. A crush on Veronica give a reason.

4. Chandler’s open annoyance at Veronica having a thing for J.D.

McNamara and Mental Illness:

1. She’s one of the only characters that legitimately tried to commit suicide

2. She’s one of the only characters that expresses her depression and anxiety about fitting in at school

3. In the musical, it’s implied that as she’s trying to get the cap off her pill bottle that she’s hearing voices egging her on to do it. (of course you can take the musical’s canon with a grain of salt)

Trans Duke (these are a bit more reaching, please feel free to correct me if I say anything wrong):

1. In the musical, she has breasts implants

2. She’s a very appearance-oriented person

3. She’s obviously craves control over details concerning her reputation I know I can’t change anything, but I would like to think that tossing idea around may get to someone

#heathers #heathers 2018

[hardoncaulfield]

Why you should see wonder woman

FULL OF SPOILERS !!!!!!  (and swears)

I did not at first realise what an emotional experience this film would be, but FUCK ME on watching the first few scenes I felt the tears spring forth like fucking fountains of glory.

It was seeing all those strong women on screen, those incredible women, unsexualised and with agency of their own, that completely undid me and I didn’t stop weeping until the film was over.

So here is a list of 15 reasons why Wonder Woman was the best damn film of this year:

The Amazons will have you wanting to take on the patriarchy with a bow and arrow in 10 seconds flat. A society of women, who love and support one another. A mother-daughter relationship unspoilt by ‘female jealousy’. LESBIAN ISLAND (also I am gay for every single Amazon ever.)

The soundtrack will take you from 0 to I-wanna-punch-a-nazi really quickly.  

I’m not really one for heterosexual white guys in films, but Steve Trevor is a good and brave soul and never, not once, does he treat Diana as his inferior. From the moment she rescues him from the sea he treats her as an equal and respects her and supports her. AND THIS IS WHY SHE LOVES HIM.

Diana listens to no man. Not even the man she is romantically involved with. When he tells her not to get involved, out of his fear she will be hurt, she fucking gets involved anyway. In fact, the whole film can be boiled down to Steve going; ‘Stay here.’ and Diana going; ‘Fuck that.’

Wonder Woman is canonically bisexual.

It might be because I’m a slut for history but Diana calling out WWI generals on their old world Victorian values made my Fucking Day. ‘A real general fights alongside their soldiers.’  Queen of my heart.

Diana asking why women would want to hold their tummies in. We don’t Diana thank you for asking, bc tummies are beautiful.

Everyone telling Diana she can’t save everyone, to which she responds, ‘Watch me.’

Steve saying, ‘It’s no man’s land, no man can cross it.’  and Diana, the fucking icon that is, going ‘I am no man.’ (it’s in subtext) And the costume!?? Fuck me. No seriously, fuck me.

There is a Moroccan and a Native American character, the Moroccan character highlights racial issues that stop him reaching his dreams and the Native American character calls out white Americans on their genocide of his people. (having diversity in a film set in 1918 just sticks a big ol’ middle finger up to any film who has said ‘diversity isn’t historically accurate’)

There is also a character with an invisible disability; Charlie has, one presumes, PTSD and not only does this highlight and give representation to people with mental illness, but the other male characters genuinely care for his emotional wellbeing. Men emotionally supporting other men! Men showing their emotions!! Men caring for one another tenderly!!!!

None of these characters die. Only the het white guy dies, in a nice twist on the ‘female love interest dies to give het white male lead Angst’ trope.

Humans aren’t good, we don’t deserve Diana (damn right we don’t) but we have goodness in us and it’s a choice!! 

‘I believe in Love.’

War is a white old guy, and Diana destroys him. The overwhelming message of this movie is peace and love and in this shitshow we call the modern world, we need more movies with this message.

OH WAIT I FORGOT ONE!!! ‘Men are unnecessary for pleasure.’  !!!!!!!

#wonder woman #wonderwoman #gal gadot #diana prince #light of my life #not witchy #i haven't cried such pure tears in years my friends #I BELIEVE IN LOVE

[reginaldqueribundus]

99% done with this website

i thought i’d heard every bit of misapplied stupidity this dung heap had to offer when i was told

white people aren’t allowed to cosplay as a purple space alien

drawing mr spock with slightly greenish skin is a hate crime despite the fact that he has green blood

being sexually attracted to the wrong race of alien lizard people means you support nazism

artists shouldn’t draw xmas sweaters on fictional 23rd century spacemen because the actors who play some of them (the actors, not the characters) are jewish, and anyone who disagrees is an anti semite

I also once expressed disgust/amazement that there was already a blog shipping orson krennic and jyn erso a full month before rogue one even came out, only to be told by a complete stranger that I shouldn’t “crosstag” (what?) because it’s triggering to survivors.

and then, based on my response to that fourth one, some teenage trash goblin decided to tell me i “hate jews” which i am sure will cause no end of disappointment among my numerous jewish relatives, you absolute fuckwagon.

im fed up. im tired of ignorant little “ur fav is problematic!” shit hats running around peeing on the stuff i like and calling everybody a bigot because they think their headcanon should be real and anything can be oppression if you squint hard enough. forget twitter, tumblr should be the one with the bird logo because it’s full of screeching featherbrained fucklords either squawking at the top of their lungs or parroting whatever stupid thing they heard, never once having an original thought, vomiting the same half digested discourse into each others open mouths and shitting everywhere. it plays hell with my anxiety and sucks away the energy i want to use for discussing actual issues that matter. im mostly here for fun fandom shit but that doesn’t mean i don’t want to talk about charlottesville, colonialism, perceptions of mental illness in society, hell i even want to talk about how unfair it is that batman and superman got 14 movies between them before wonder woman even got one, but im too busy defending myself to some 12 year old who says im hitler because i dont think kara zor-el is a lesbian. you think you’re doing some great thing but really you’re just trivializing the issue and ruining any chance at a serious discussion.

i joined this hell site in spite of what i’d heard about it because i thought it would be a fun easy way to share my thoughts on pop culture and couldn’t possibly be all that bad. but sweet buttery breakdancing buddha on a biplane, i was wrong. i’ve tried to stay away from it but y’all have driven me so close to just up and walking away from all my followers, my mutuals, my friends, from the one place where i get to fucking talk about star trek because its the only place where i know people who love it as much as i do. the one outlet i have, and you self fellating jack in the boxes wana ruin it for me. all because the only emotion you’re capable of feeling is the smug satisfaction of telling someone they’re wrong. god forbid anyone make an honest mistake out of genuine lack of knowledge, because some self righteous fuckbucket will appear behind them like a goddamn anime ninja to give them a lecture which they probably won’t even fucking understand because they haven’t leaped facefirst up tumblr’s cancerous, prolapsed rectum and memorized every bit of shitwit special terminology it has to offer.

you have nothing meaningful to contribute, so you take some sociopolitical concept you read about one time and start slapping it onto every book or cartoon you read/watch, regardless of whether it fits, throw in a couple of buzzwords you don’t fully understand and voila! suddenly you have an excuse to go around telling people they’re not having fun the right way, all while being immune to criticism because you’re “calling out” biphobia / ableism / whatever. if anyone disagrees with you just harass the shit out of them because let’s face it you have nothing better to do. then when they finally break down in tears and block you / get so frustrated they stop responding, you get to sit smugly in front of your keyboard and jerk yourself off thinking about what a good person you are.

i never use the term sjw because im not some transphobic assmaster from reddit or 4chan who thinks racial slurs are hilarious, but even if i did, it wouldn’t fucking apply here because you flapping circus clown labias aren’t fighting for justice. you’re only fighting for yourselves.

god help me if it wasn’t for some of y’all i’d pack my star trek shit in a hobo bindle and flip this place the bird on the way out. i love you guys. you know who you are. sorry about the rant im so tired

#rant #im fed up #sorry everyone #vent post #a post by me™

[recentanimenews]

After Hours and My Lesbian Experience with Loneliness

After Hours and My Lesbian Experience with Loneliness epitomize a small but growing trend in yuri manga licensing: both focus on women in their twenties exploring their sexuality, rather than depicting middle- or high-school aged girls crushing on each other.

After Hours is the more upbeat of the two, a sympathetic portrait of twenty-three-year-old Emi, a recent college graduate who’s just quit her job and is struggling to figure out what comes next. A chance encounter with Kei, a twenty-nine-year-old deejay, is a turning point in Emi’s young adult life: not only is she drawn to Kei’s confidence, she’s also intrigued by Kei’s passion for spinning records, a passion that’s missing from Emi’s own life. As their connection deepens, Emi takes a more active role in supporting Kei’s deejaying, joining Kei’s circle of friends and trying her hand at “veejaying,” selecting videos to complement Kei’s set lists.

One of the most striking aspects of After Hours is Yuhta Nishio’s sensitive depiction of Emi and Kei’s sexual encounters. He uses a handful of discrete signifiers — a pile of clothing on the floor, a tender embrace, a flirtatious post-coital chat — rather than explicit or provocative imagery. That’s a wise choice, I think, as it allows Nishio to recognize Emi and Kei as grown women with healthy sexual urges without shading into prurience. Instead, Nishio shows the reader how the women’s bodily intimacy fosters trust, familiarity, and affection — a dimension of sexual experience that’s often missing from straight romance manga.

Though the first chapters are largely uneventful, future volumes promise dramatic complications. Emi has yet to disclose her relationship to her friends or her not-quite-ex-boyfriend, with whom she’s still sharing an apartment. More interestingly, Emi hasn’t really thought about what it means to be in a relationship with another woman; she’s initially surprised by her attraction to Kei, but resists labeling those feelings as lesbian, bisexual, or queer, choosing instead to savor the sense of purpose and joy that Kei brings to her life. The ease with which Emi embraces her new love is a refreshing development, a quiet rebuttal of the idea that sexual orientation is absolute or easily defined.

By contrast, Nagata Kabi’s My Lesbian Experience with Loneliness is a more complex story, a confessional comic documenting the author’s sexual awakening in her late twenties. Nagata narrates her odyssey with candor, acknowledging the degree to which mental illness dictated her adult life. She describes the bodily ravages of disordered eating — she vacillated between anoxeria and bulimia — and the emotional toll of disordered thinking, noting the degree to which both depression and body dysmorphia prevented her from holding down a job, maintaining friendships, or thinking about herself as a sexual person. She also ruminates on her chilly relationship with her parents, and her profound sense of shame in disappointing them by not becoming a “real” adult with a conventional office job.

As Nagata begins reasserting control of her life, she realizes the degree to which she’s suppressed her sexuality, a realization that leads her to hire a female escort for her first sexual experience. Nagata documents this encounter in an unsparing fashion, contrasting her feverish anticipation with her physical discomfort during the encounter. Nagata’s stiff, detached body language reveals that she is not yet at peace with her physical self; for all of her progress towards mental health and self-acceptance, she cannot yet surrender to the bodily sensations of desire.

That Nagata’s journey is more inspiring than depressing is a testament to her writing skills (and, I might add, Jocelyne Allen’s artfully wry translation). Though Nagata never shies away from describing uncomfortable thoughts or self-destructive behavior, she finds moments of grace and humor in even the darkest situations, especially as she begins to contemplate what it means to be a sexual person. In three sharp, economical panels, for example, she explores her profound discomfort with binary gender labels, even as she begins to recognize her sexual attraction to women:

It feels churlish to criticize such a personal work, and yet I found myself wishing that Nagata’s art felt more essential to the story she was telling. Writing for The Comics Journal, critic Katie Skelly voiced similar concerns, arguing that Nagata’s tendency to mix big blocks of text with cute drawings keeps the reader at arm’s length when Nagata discloses intimate, sometimes disturbing, details of her eating disorders and self-mutilation. “Nagata can’t find a suitable bridge to mend the gap between the story of her experience and aesthetic,” Skelly notes. “[H]er style can read as generic and her tone never quite finds its mark.” I admit to feeling the same way about Nagata’s work: I admired her raw honesty, but felt that My Lesbian Experience with Loneliness could have been a book, a movie, or a Moth Radio Hour segment just as easily as a comic; nothing about the way Nagata related her experiences felt like it was uniquely suited to manga, as her drawings were more illustrative of what she felt than genuinely revelatory about why she felt such profound self-loathing.

For all the things that go unsaid in My Lesbian Experience with Loneliness, however, there’s much wisdom in Nagata’s story, especially for people struggling with what it means to be healthy, whole, and sexual. Nagata’s gradual journey to wellness is a testament to the human capacity for resilience, and her willingness to share her most vulnerable moments with strangers an act of genuine courage.

VIZ Media provided a complimentary review copy of After Hours.

AFTER HOURS • STORY AND ART BY YUHTA NISHIO • TRANSLATION BY ABBY LEHRKE • 160 pp. • RATED TEEN+ (for older teens)

MY LESBIAN EXPERIENCE WITH LONELINESS • STORY AND ART BY NAGATA KABI • TRANSLATED BY JOCELYNE ALLEN • SEVEN SEAS • 152 pp. • RATED OT (for older teens)

By: Katherine Dacey

#Anime #News #Manga Bookshelf