#thats literally my wife!!!!!!

[theygender]

The more I learn about judaism the more I wonder where tf christianity got all its bad shit. Why is divorce a sin in christianity when judaism has recognized the right to divorce for nearly a millennia and has codified religious laws for it. Why does christianity consider sex to be dirty (to the point where puritans considered it a sin to enjoy having sex with your own spouse) when in judaism it's considered holy and it's a literal mitzvah to have sex with your spouse on the sabbath. Why does christianity consider it a sign that you're faithless if you question your religion when in judaism that's considered an essential part to developing your faith. I'm probably stating the obvious here but I still can't get over the fact that there's no historical basis to any of this shit before christianity started, it's like christians just said "hey guys what if we took the torah and built a new religion around it but this time it was actively hostile to human life"

#rambling #disclaimer this isnt about individual christians im speaking about the religious trauma i experienced in my own life etc etc #these are just a few examples that I've noticed but they're definitely something #the part about sex in particular shocked me bc sex is pretty much viewed as actively evil in a lot of christian denominations #like you should only do it to create children and if you take pleasure in it (even if its with your own spouse) youre a dirty sinner #there arent as many examples like this nowadays but if you read puritan laws about sex it's like #you're allowed to have sex with your wife basically 10 times a year but you have to be fully clothed with the lights off #and you cant have sex on a holiday or a sunday and you cant touch each other and you have to try as hard as possible to hate it #literally WHERE did that mindset come from?? like for real #in judaism having sex with your spouse is basically considered a celebration of everything holy #and if you have sex on the sabbath (the holiest day in the jewish calendar—above every holiday) #its considered TWICE as holy #make it make sense #this is one of the things people mean when they say that lumping judaism in with christianity as 'abrahamic' religions is meaningless #theyre literally nothing alike #the only similarity is the torah but thats only half of the christian bible and one third of the jewish one #AND christianity interprets most of it completely differently from how judaism does #im tired #greatest hits #hall of fame

[blackkatdraws2]

Whenever Stanley closes his eyes, he can feel the older man's aura surrounding him. [Blank Scripts AU]

#im literally about to pass out #i made this while im about to fall asleep #im not very coherent #my apologies if the description or the meaning of the image doesnt translate very well #i was originally planning on doing more panels but i got tired and shortened it #damn it #but basically this is just The Narrator (Black) emitting his energy out (aura) #it feels really cold #like an ocean of ice #that black mass is NOT the narrator's (Black's) true form #that black mass is like a physical manifestation of what the Narrator's (Black's) aura looks like #(in Stanley's imagination at least) #but Stanley is too much of a simp to care about all that #hug wife... wife very cold but thats okay. hug wife #maybe hug will warm wife up #tsp blank scripts au #tsp au #the stanley parable #the stanley parable ultra deluxe #tsp #tspud #tsp narrator #narrator tsp #stanley tsp #tsp stanley #stanley x narrator #narrator x stanley #stanarator #stannarator #stanarrator

[devildomresidentt]

Mammon Headcanons (My beautiful wife)

For a long time he would sneak into the human world to work as a Jersey Mafia Boss, he was scolded for hours by Lucifer after him and his Cartel was arrested.

Aways sags his pants and everytime Lucifer tells him to pull them up he responds by dramatically pulling them all the way up to his chest while jumping just to spite him.

Mammon naturally has 3c hair, but he usually blows it out plus he has yellow highlights speckled through his air.

Needs glasses to see, wears tinted glasses so he can pass them off as Sunglasses if anyone talks about them.

Secretly a big math geek, can solve the most intricate and complicated math problems known to man in under a minute.

Loves scaring people, but gets pissy if you hit him out of fear

Speeds through The Devildom blasting Baby Kia while screaming out the lyrics (absolute mad man)

Heavy Sleepwalker and Sleeptalker, will have entire conversations in his sleep and act completely clueless when you ask him about it in the morning.

Left handed (derogatory)

!Other headcanons under the cut!

Lucifer's Ver

Mammon's Ver ~ You are here

Leviathan's Ver

Satan's Ver

Asmodeus' Ver

Beelzebub's Ver

Belphegor's Ver

#THATS MY PATHETIC WIFE #hes literally me #he’s such a dork #obey me #obey me swd #obey me! #obey me nightbringer #obeyme! #obey me hcs #obey me drabble #obey me mammon

[doufupuff]

the skrunkles :3

charms finally arrived..they are so gummy candy…available on etsy !!!

#forbidden gummies #literally bite sized #bg3 #baldurs gate 3 #astarion #you know i always wonder if he has white lashes or not #shadowheart #karlach #THATS MY WIFE #with her teddy 🥹 #gale #wyll #lae’zel #bg3 fanart #chibi #my art #fanart

[mcsugarcane]

#who doesnt want a god wife thats literally the embodiment of chaos #petrigrof #simon petrikov #betty grof #golbetty #adventure time #fionna and cake #my art

[outofcontextfossil]

mappa giving nanami fans a final hurrah before shit goes downhill holy fuck

#thats literally my lawfully wedded husband wdym #NANAMI I LOVE YOU #COME HOME #THE KIDS MISS YOU #I MISS YOU #kento nanami THE MAN THAT YOU ARE #we are actually laying in bed together as i type this we are snug as two bugs in a rug and he loves me and we are married and we live #together and im his wife and he's my husband #i could be so much more insane about this but i have so much fire within me that it has in a way exhausted itself and now im just HERE #jjk #jujutsu kaisen #jjk season 2 #the shibuya incident #nanami #kento nanami #nanami kento

[cowboy-robooty]

PEOPLE KEEP DENYING HIM HIS FIVE HEAD..... LET HIM BE UGLY AS SHIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

#sorry guys i just see this with germany fans sometimes and when i do i can feel all the bloodvessels in my eyes exploding #HES OUR UGLY WIFE #OUR UGLY AS SHIT HUSBAND #ACCEPT HIM FOR WHO HE IS #i genuinely love germany being so fucking ugly okay literally in a yaoi i read when the author made a spinoff volume for the side couple #they had to change the hairstyle bc the character had germanys normal hairstyle and it was so fucking ugly the editor legit said #change that shit or else nobody is gunna buy that yaoi literally GERMANY IS STRAIGHT UP UGLY. LET HIM BE UGLY!!!!!!! #i get incellic rage that aint my boy thats not my germany chan you gotta put his shiney huge fivehead on full display #being ugly is a central component of his character he is not germany if hes not ugly asf #hetalia #aph #hws #aph germany #hws germany #draws

[plan-3-tmars]

Is this what Happiness is?

- hey so I haven't seen an interpretation of the bar scenes in Half that I fully agree with, so I wanted to throw my own two cents out there into the void and pray that it makes sense !!!

so, in the bar scenes in Half we see what I interpret as a hangout with old friends (or, hangout with old friend + his wife.) These scenes used to be the biggest piece of evidence for the cheater theory, but now that that's been debunked by the man himself, I have a new way of looking at them

~ before I go any further, I just wanted to say that I'll be calling the brown-haired woman whiskey for simplicity's sake

In this scene, Kazui turns to look at Whiskey, saying the lyrics:

"laughing together, side by side, this distance in our relationship is misleading me, is this what happiness is?"

With my guess (cuz that's really what it is there's no evidence for it) that Whiskey is the Bartender's wife i think this scene is Kazui being conflicted with what he's been told is true, that marrying Hinako is "true love", versus what he feels is true, that marrying Hinako has brought distance into their relationship.

He looks at Whiskey, a woman happily married, and wonders why his relationship with Hinako isn't like that.

~ shout out to @prisoner-000 for the following screenshot

in this post he points out that Hinako and Kazui's rings are silver in Cat, not gold like they were in Half, yet Bartender's ring colour stays the same.

For the sake of this writing I'm going to go with the first meaning they put out, that Bartender's ring is gold because his marriage is genuine.

But wait!! I hear you ask. This is Half and Kazui's ring is still gold in Half!! EXACTLY MY FRIEND!!

Kazui's ring IS still gold in Half because at the time of these scenes he's still fooling himself that this relationship is good, that he will eventually garner real romantic feelings for Hianko.

"laughing together, side by side, this distance in our relationship is misleading me, is this what happiness is?"

Remember this lyric that plays during the Whiskey -> Hinako scene. You know what other scene in Half this lyric reminds me of?

laughing together, side by side,

this distance in our relationship is misleading me,

is this what happiness is?

He's beginning to doubt if what he believes is true, he's beginning to believe the feelings telling him something's wrong (and remember, the scene right after this one is when he confesses (?) his secret to Hinako) ARE infact true, and that maybe the logic he's been following for so long has a couple holes in it.

I think these scenes are meant to show Kazui gradually realising that his relationship with Hinako will not work out. It just won't, no matter how hard he tries.

He's able to laugh together and talk with Whiskey because she's his friend, yet he can't do the same with his own wife? Even though, according to his gold ring, their relationship is supposed to be real and true and genuine?

#thats not even getting into the gay theory implications btw #bar kazui staring at audience kazui with the lyrics “all these memories and you / only if i could erase them” #because his crush on his friend literally haunts him and his relationship with hinako (the green apple) #confessing his love to his friend “just so its out in the open” because he so desperately needs to get it off his chest #most likely having his feelings not reciprocated as his friend his married and staring at his wife #who then transitions into hinako / wondering why he does not feel the same happiness with her than he does at the bar #because he's lying to himself and he's lying to her #he *knows* that their relationship is not happiness and yet he hides in denial #because it's not like he will be able to find his happiness anyway as his friend is already taken #sorry #this doesnt rlly make sense and i'm aware of that i wish i could beam what im trying to get at into ur head #unfortunately its nearly 11pm and when i was brainstorming this idea i had a nap and NEVER WROTE MY THOUGHTS DOWN (biggest mistake ever) #someone with a bigger vocabulary pls come and pick this up and explain it better thank youuuy #anyway just hope you get what im trying to say #thats all #sorry for the ramble in tha tags but also this is my house so #milgram #kazui mukuhara #hinako mukuhara #milgram theory #ig i never know what to title these

[haemosexuality]

why are so many adventure time fans just straight up stupid. about how stories work. and i dont even mean kids i mean like adult fans just with the absolutely dumbest takes

#i was watching a streamer react to f&c which ok i admit i brought this upon myself #but oh my godddddd #''i think farmworld finn's wife was pb'' even ignoring that one of his kids looks exactly like human huntress wizard WHAT #WHY IN THE HELL WOULD THAT BE TRUE. AFTER THEYVE SPENT S I X S E A S O N S SHOWING WHY PBXFINN COULD NEVER BE A THING #LITERALLY SEVERAL SEASONS SHOWING 1-PB WILK NEVER LIKE FINN BACK THEY ARE INCOMPATIBLE 2-FINN HAS MOVED ON HE HAS ACCEPTED THAT AND GOTTEN #OVER HIS CHILDHOOD LOVE ON HER AND ONLY AFTER THAT THEY WERE ABLE TO FORM A FRIENDSHIP #THATS LIKE ONE OF THE MAIN THINGS OF THE SHOW #WHY THE FUCK WOULD THEY TAKE THAT BACK AND MAKE HIM HAVE FUCKING KIDS WITH HER IN AN ALTERNATE UNIVERSE????????? #''did prismo just die in the end of episode 4??? oh no what a mystery'' oh yeah dude they totally killed off one of the most important #characters in like 5 seconds with almost no ceremony. without even acknowledging it. thats totally how character deaths work #this is totally plausible #''what the fuck im gonna get so mad of simon actually becomes ice king again'' ARE YOU STUPIDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD #HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF ''CREATING A CONFLICT AND THEN RESOLVING IT'' #HOLY FUCKING SHIT #sorry this is making me go insane a little bit. #adventure time #fionna and cake #every time i see some guy mention pbxfinn and a thing that could have happened i fly into a rage. you are so fucking stupid. you have the #mental capabilities of a child. never open your mouth again. #as a thing* that could have happened

[seytrix]

a few self-indulgent sketches to feed my robokissers out there. stay strong my kings

#inscryption #p03 #inscryption spoilers #self insert #creseytion #oc x canon #self indulgent #self insert x canon #p03 x reader #WE ARE MARRIED. #thats literally my wife right there

[demelly]

sobbing over them WAAUGH <\\\3

#mia and ethan when they havent seen eachother in 6 years <\\3 #ME AND TARANTULAJUICE TALKED AB THIS SENARIO LAST NIGHT LITERALLY SOBBING IT MADE ME SO SAD #AU MAKING ME DEPRESSED #chris wiping out the bakers finally took you long enough buddy you took ur sweet ass time youve fucked up 2 perfectly good soups chris #theyve both witnessed the horrors now #ethan is a bioweapon now yay #chris woulda shot tf out of ethan if it werent for mia being like wait stop thats my husband #chris is like all i see is a massive clump of mold #yay husband and wife #au infodump moment #welcomehomere7au #re7 #re7 biohazard #ethan winters #mia winters #resident evil 7 #resident evil 7 biohazard

[taichouu]

I love the phenomenon where your little freak character has a homoerotic rival/enemy that is your friend's little freak character. Haha mutual you are my in law !

#tai talks #this is specifically about loni being jug/rams wife and also my friends who are die hard kai/ba enjoyers #ITS LITERALLY SO GREAT LIKE wow your boyfriend and my boyfriend are lovers thats so awesome

[wildstar25]

Y'shtola please come back soon before these two idiots combine their gill coffers....

#ffxiv #ffxiv wol #wolgraha #g'raha tia #WOL posting #wolship #post endwalker 6.4 #Arsay Nun #implied polyship #graharsay #graharshtola #arshtola #Y'shtola 100% also already thinks they are all married don't worry everyone #she's just the last person to bring that kind of thing up #this started as a “i miss my wife Tails” joke and uh #quickly became not a joke #I was gonna try and wait for dawntrail to finish up before anything changed between them but thats a literal year away so... #also g'raha seeing arsay in a state would absolutely make a vow then and there that he would make sure arsay never felt lonely again #In his mind they both spent far too long being lonely and he wont put up with that again!! #meanwhile arsay is literally dying because once again #she forgot to consider that she is actually loved #insane if true she would say despite being in a polycule #but hey!! character growth shes actually talking about feeling sad #look at her go #we are so proud

[the-kipsabian]

#matt hardy #penelope ford #kip sabian #aew #all elite wrestling #aewedit #wrestlingedit #wrestling #night gifs #listen. you can literally hear kip yelling at him from across the ring. it was beautiful #the 'THATS MY WIFE' is so fucking audible on the replay like oh my god #he was so offended and honestly good for him!! #love is stored in them etc etc <3 #my beloved #vampire wife #kip in a box #(rp blogs dont reblog; saving and other personal use with tag credits is fine) #scheduled post btw #(i might not have more after this one goes up i'll finish the rest at some point ough)

[cheruverse]

currently thinking about enemies to lovers trope with muzan kibutsuji and immortal human reader who's fought for centuries just because reader has the blue spider lily with them

(i might make a drabble about this..)

#its a nice thought to think abt tbh #LIKE #imagine having a literal demon king as your enemy for centuries ever since day one #then some time you fall inlove with him and you're like #what??? how did this happen??? #ITS FUNNY BECUASE MUZAN IS THINKING THE SAME #hes gonna be like #theyre my enemy that wouldnt make sense for me to fall in love with them #they have the blue spider lily with them thats what i only want from them #and then he tries to distract himself with his wife or work #THE SLOWBURN IN THIS IS GONNA BE SO GOOD AAAAAUUUUGGHHHHHH #💌﹚．．from me to you. #kibutsuji muzan x reader #muzan kibutsuji x reader #muzan x reader #muzan x y/n #muzan x you #kibutsuji muzan x y/n #muzan kibutsuji x y/n #muzan kibutsuji #kibutsuji muzan #kny x reader #kny #kimetsu no yaiba x reader #demon slayer #demon slayer x reader

[lorephobic]

this is legitimately my burning of alexandria. i feel sick to my stomach.

#how. am i supposed to go on. #more than a decade of barry pics. gone in one night. #please come back. #please please please god please come back. #please i can’t do this im not strong enough #i can’t lose him to a manager-run instagram account like this #i can’t lose my half face selfies and boxing videos #i can’t lose his red hearts to jacob and yaoi memes #i cant lose all of this im not strong enough #i can’t have him filtered my management all of the time it’s literally going to kill me #i can’t lose him like this im so 😭😭😭😭 #spiraling!!!! #THATS MY WIFE THAT YOU’RE KILLING