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crepesuzette2023 · 19 days

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Do you have an opinion on what actually happened in Barcelona and John's motivations?

No strong, line-in-the-sand, until-here-and-no-further opinion, and not prepared to die on any hills, but here is a blurry snapshot of my current thoughts on the quote unquote matter. (And thank you for asking!)

I think the question of "what happened in Barcelona" has too long been mixed up with speculations along the lines of "was John gay" or "did they have sex." While I relate to the curiosity, I think these questions, due to the bigotry of the times, led to simplistic, un-gay alternative theories (alternative to 'it was a Lennon-Epstein sex vacation', that is), which further confused the matter.

I do not think going to Barcelona was a power move on John's part to vet Brian and establish himself as the leader of the group. By the time of the trip (April '63), Brian had been the Beatles' manager for a while. He'd changed their act, found them a recording contract, had a separate contract with John and Paul as songwriters. He was in. Similarly, at this point, Brian would have been familiar with the power structure within the band, including John's leader/founder status and the equality that was the basis of the group and Lennon—McCartney. They were not a front man and a backing band, and Paul and John were not competing for the status of leader/main decision maker. It was them, together. There was no motive at the time for John to get alone-time with Brian to defend or regain his leadership status.

In addition to that, I don't think it's likely the vacation was related to the order of the Lennon-McCartney writing credit. Did John go to Barcelona with Brian to gain leverage that would allow him to demand his name would always go first, going against his previous agreement with Paul and Brian (which stated the main songwriter's name would come first, and all royalties would be shared 50/50)? Hmm. To me, this doesn't fit with Lennon-McCartney presenting themselves as a team of equal partners during the Beatle years, and with John emphasizing the roots of the partnership as reaching back to their romantic teenage pact. Neither of them tried to hide that writing was something they shared. There was no overt struggle for dominance, or even a clear division of tasks (as in, you do the lyrics, I do the music; or: you do the ballads, I do the rockers). And they planned to keep writing after the Beatles were done. Given all this, I feel it's unlikely John would scheme and try to get Brian alone in order to get his name put first, with Paul then just accepting it, because Brian and John forced him to.

It's so important to remember that much of the Beatles story is told in retrospect, after a bitter break-up, and in response to sometimes deliberately dumb or salacious questions. Yes, Paul framed Barcelona as a power-play on John's part, but that was after he and John had been through their own history of struggles of a decade or more, all of it amplified by the press and biographers of all stripes. And yes, John claimed Paul overpowered his artistic vision and fucked with his songs, but that, too, was in a later, more bitter time. In April '63, though? Were Paul and John really fighting for dominance? For leadership? For being the star?

I'm not denying that power played a role in John going to Barcelona with Brian, but I think it was something subtle—something related to being different...to John being the one to spend time with Brian, John separating himself from the band; John being the one Brian wanted to take along. And John agreeing to go.

{side bar on how every Beatle splitting from the main Beatle blob to travel down his own path with someone or something else functioned like a battle cry or warning signal to the others cut for brevity reasons!!!}

And yes, I think sex played a role in that decision. John made the choice to spend time alone—not a weekend, but twelve days—with a gay man who openly fancied him, and had tried to take him on solo trips before. Now, after refusing earlier, John agreed to go along. Trying to put myself in John's place, I have to believe that he knew the issue of sex and attraction would surface and have to be dealt with in some way, and that it must have felt exciting, and a little scary, but also: that it was time to do it, instead of always wondering what if.

But, judging from the events at Paul's (and Ivan Vaughan's!) 21st birthday party, I think it's fair to say John felt conflicted about it as well.

What actually happened in Barcelona? I'd be surprised if they didn't have sex. Judging from Brian's apparent blushing and walking-on-air happiness after the trip, I hope it was good.

Where this all fits with John and Paul, God—I've no idea.

The truth is rarely pure, and never simple. — Oscar Wilde.

Here is a lovely picture of John and Brian.

photo: Harry Benson

#John Lennon #Brian Epstein #lennon mccartney #what happened in Barcelona?#asks #The Beatles

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nellasbookplanet · 3 months

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Book recs: possession, bodysnatching and bodysharing

Demons, ghosts, aliens, sentient bacteria, artificial intelligences - isn't there something fascinating about the idea of sharing a body with another being like a giant get-along t-shirt? No? Too bad, because I'm going to tell you about books featuring this trope anyway.

A note: multiple of these books are sequels where the bodysnatching/possession aspect plays little to no part in the first book. In all these cases, I still recommend starting with book one. I also in one case chose not to include a certain sequel that I loved as even mentioning it in this context would be a huge spoiler, so, uh, sorry about that.

For more details on the books, continue under the readmore. Titles marked with * are my personal favorites. And as always, feel free to share your own recs in the notes!

If you want more book recs, check out my masterpost of rec lists!

Brain Plague by Joan Slonczewsji*

Chrys, a struggling artist, agrees to become a carrier for a sentient strain of microbes. With their help, Chrys breathes new life into her career and becomes a success. But every microbe society is different - some function as friends and brain enhancers to their carrier, while others become a literal brain plague, a living addiction taking over the life of their carrier. And like every society, the microbe community is in constant flux - including the one inside Chrys's head.

Children of Ruin (Children of Time series) by Adrian Tchaikovsky*

Sequel to Children of Time. Millenia and generation spanning scifi. After the collapse of the Earthen empire, a project to terraform various planets and use them to uplift other species to sentience in left unfinished. However, both species and planets continue evolving on their own, and when what remains of humanity flees the dying Earth millenia later, these planets might be their only hope of survival. But the uplifted species aren't the only intelligent life out there, and are far from the most dangerous as the survivors encounter something capable of terraforming the human body itself.

Leech by Hiron Ennes*

Unbeknownst to humanity, a sentient hive mind has taken over the entire medical profession to ensure the health of their host species. One of their doctors is sent off to an isolated location where they’re cut off from the rest of the hive mind, only to realize they’re faced with a rivaling parasitic entity. Leech hands you only just enough information to get by, and whether its historical fantasy, an alternate timeline, or futuristic post apocalypse is hard to determine. It’s spooky and a bit weird and wildly creative.

A Memory Called Empire (Texicalaan duology) by Arkady Martine

Mahit Dzmare is an ambassador sent to the center of the multi-system Teixcalaanli Empire, where she discovers that her predecessor has died. Trying to protect her home, a small independent mining station, from being taken over by the empire, Mahit struggles to find out the truth of her predecessor's death while carrying the voice of his ghost in her head, guiding her as best he can. Features a sapphic relationship but focuses more on world-building than romance.

Ninefox Gambit (Machineries of Empire trilogy) by Yoon Ha Lee*

Military space opera where belief and culture shape the laws of reality, causing all kinds of atrocities as empires do everything in their power to force as many people as possible to conform to their way of life to strengthen their technology and weapons. It’s also very queer, with gay, lesbian and trans major characters, albeit little to no romance. Disgraced Captain Kel Cheris is given a second chance by allying with the undead Commander Shous Jedao, who in life never lost a battle, but also went mad and massacred his own army. Now, Cheris must decide just how far she can trust him, with her forces as well as with her sense of self.

My Heart is Human by Reese Hogan

Nine years ago, all complex technology was made illegal. This complicates life for Joel, young transgender single father, as a bionic just uploaded itself into his brain without consent. Scared of losing his daughter, Joel tries to keep the bionic secret while using it to fix his life, but things quickly get more complicated as the bionic gains more and more control of his body. A bit simplistic in writing style but makes a lot of cool parallels of bodily autonomy to Joel’s experiences as a transman.

Bonus rec: if you like the general concept of struggling for physical control over one’s body with an AI, may I also suggest the (much grittier and gory) movie Upgrade.

The Host by Stehpenie Meyer*

The Host follows Wanderer, an alien part of an invading force on Earth. Humans have been defeated and are being used as host bodies, but Wanderer's host Melanie is being difficult and refuses to fade away. Instead she fills Wanderer's mind with images of Jared, the man she loves and who's still in hiding. With Melanie's feelings bleeding into Wanderer's the two reluctantly ally to find and keep safe the man they both love. While The Host does feature Meyer's trademark romance - of which I'm not the biggest fan - the more interesting and arguably more central relationship is that between Wanderer and her human host.

Needle by Hal Clement

1950s classic. A small island in the pacific ocean and a fourteen-year-old boy have just become the center of an interstellar chase between an alien Hunter and the criminal he’s pursuing. Robert is a regular boy, but he has a very special passenger: an alien symbiont hiding inside his body. The alien became stranded on Earth as he pursued a criminal of his own species, and now they are both trapped on the same island, playing a game of cat and mouse as Robert and the Hunter struggle to find their prey before it finds them.

Malevolent by Harlan Guthrie*

Lovecraftian horror mystery. Private detective Arthur Lester wakes up in his office, his partner dead, memories fuzzy, vision gone, and the voice of a malevolent entity in his mind. Unable to see, Arthur is forced to rely on guidance from the entity as he attempts to solve the mystery of what it is and where it came from. Is this a book? No. But as someone who reads mostly audiobooks, the difference between a book and a fiction podcast is negligible, and also I love this story and its characters and want all of you to do so too.

Goddess of Filth by V. Castro

Novella. What starts as a drunken seance between friends ends with one of them chanting in Nahuatl, the language of their Aztec ancestors. Following that night, the formerly shy Fernanda has changed. While her family calls for priests, claiming her possessed by a demon, Fernanda's friends believe what has taken up residence in her is something decidedly older. A quick read featuring female rage, desire and empowerment, this is a different twist on the typical possession story.

This Alien Shore by C.S. Friedman

Space opera in which humanity found a way to faster than light travel and began establishing colonies all over the galaxy, only to belatedly realize the method of FTL caused irreversible mutations and disabilities and leaving their nascent colonies to die. Much later, many of the colonies have survived and thrived, and one has found a new method of FTL travel, allowing an interconnected space society to grow. However, Earth is on the hunt for their method and is prepared to do anything to steal it. Trapped in the middle of all this and forced on the run is young Jamisia, who is little by little coming to realize that not only might she be the very solution Earth is after, she's also not alone in her own mind and body.

Touch by Claire North*

Kepler should have died long ago, beaten to death in an alley. Instead, a switch happened as Kepler leapt into and took control of the body of the killer. Since then, Kepler has lived in body after body, having gained the ability to inhabit anyone with a touch and stay for anything from a few minutes to an entire lifetime. Kepler cares much for the host bodies, and when one of them is brutally assassinated, Kepler must find the killer, avenge the host's death, and stop it from happening again. You want a fucked up main character with fucked up morals who still genuinely cares for people? Then boy do I have the book for you!

The Midnight Bargain by C.L. Polk

Fantasy romance. Beatrice Clayborn is a sorceress, but if her family gets its way she won't remain so for long. Married women are forbidden from practicing magic, and Beatrice's father is intent on marrying her off to save them from destitution. Beatrice has a different plan: become so powerful a sorceress that she can herself save her father's business and becomes too valuable to marry off. To achieve this, she strikes a bargain with a minor spirit of fortune. In return, the spirit demands to be present in Beatrice's body as she experiences her first kiss... a kiss with a man who might jeopardize all her plans.

Pandemonium by Daryl Gregory

Del Perce's world is almost indistinguishable from ours, the only difference being the presence of possessing entities that can strike with little to no warning. When he was young, Del was possessed by one of these demons, which was eventually exorcised. But now he’s experiencing a resurgence of symptoms, a voice in his head demanding to be freed. To save himself, Del races to find out the truth behind the possessions.

The Thousand Eyes (The Serpent Gates duology) by A.K. Larkwood*

Sequel to The Unspoken Name (please read that first, I promise this duology is very worth it). These books have a lot going on: portals, flying ships, orcs, elves, creepy snake gods, possessions, cults, immortal evil mages who traumatize teens as their hobby, gay and lesbian frenemies, the works. Csorwe, born and raised in a cult and meant as a sacrifice, escapes her intended death with a mage who becomes her mentor. But he has dangerous motives of his own, and Csorwe must decide where her loyalties lie.

A Skinful of Shadows by Frances Hardinge

Young adult, historical. All her life, Makepeace's mother has been teaching her how to defend herself from the possession of ghosts, until one day her guard drops and a wild and fierce spirit slips in. When Makepeace's mother dies and she is sent to live with her father's family, this spirit might be her only defence. Because her family is harboring dark secrets, and they have plans for Makepeace... plans which do not care for her well-being. Unlike most other YA I've read in terms of vibes and plot, A Skinful of Shadows is a unique and intriguing read.

Vespertine by Margaret Rogerson*

Young adult fantasy. Artemisia prefers the dead to the living, and is training to become a Gray Sister, a nun who helps the souls of the deceased pass on to the afterlife rather than remain as dangerous spirits. To defend her convent, Artemisia accepts the help of a dangerous revenant, a powerful spirit which grants her great power but also could possess her the moment her guard is lowered. As evil threatens her homeland, Artemisia and the revenant must find a way to work together.

A Psalm of Storms and Silence by Roseanne A. Brown

Young adult fantasy. Sequel to A Song of Wraiths and Ruin. To save his family, Malik has made a deal with a dangerous spirit with equally dangerous demands - the death of the princess. Meanwhile, princess Karina is seeking her own power, meaning to resurrect her assassinated sister no matter what the prize. As their paths intertwine, the consequences of their pursuits keep getting higher, both for them, their nation, and the entire world.

Grey Sister (Book of the Ancestor trilogy) by Mark Lawrence

Sequel to Red Sister. Fantasy with sci-fi flavor. Nona is being raised to become a killer at the Convent of Sweet Mercy. But dangerous classes aren’t Nona's only problem: her planet is slowly dying, and her own inner demons whisper in her mind. As the sun grows weaker and ice creeps ever closer, Nona and her allies race to save themselves from extinction.

Fifth Quarter (Quarters series) by Tanya Huff*

Sequel to Sing the Four Quarters. Fifth Quarter is only loosely connected to the first book in the series so you could read it as a standalone, however I still recommend starting with Sing the Four Quarters as it is very good. Bannon and Vree are siblings and highly skilled assassins, but they are put to the test when a failed assassination finds them sharing a body, their intended victim having stolen Bannon's. Now, they must choose between remaining loyal to their Empire, or helping their supposed victim find a new body to steal - and he doesn't want just any body, he wants the royal prince.

The Nein Eyes of Lucien by Madeline Roux*

Recommended with the caveat that you're unlikely to get the full experience unless you have also watched Critical Role Campaign 2 (which is quite the time investment, but very worth it). It follows the antagonist Lucien, first owner of the body we know as Mollymauk Tealeaf, both before Lucien lost his body and after he regains it in the ultimate struggle against Mollymauk's old friends, the Mighty Nein.

Bonus AKA I haven't read these yet but they seem really cool

The Scratch Daughters (The Scapegracers trilogy) by H.A. Clarke

Sequel to The Scrapegracers. Sideways Pike used to be able to perform only party tricks, but in finding new friends and starting a coven, the four become powerful witches. But not everyone wants witches around. After having gotten her spectre stolen and losing her ability to perform magic, Sideways is forced to rely on Mr. Scratch, a book demon taking the place of her spectre to keep her alive. Now she must struggle to get her magic back before it’s too late.

Riding the Odds by Lynda K. Scott

Sci-fi romance. Tara Rowan is a spaceship captain with secrets - a past she wants to leave behind, and Zie, an organic symbiote which grants her greater strengths and reflexes. But when sexy Holy Knight Trace Munroe blackmails her in an attempt to rescue a missing princess, Tara's secrets are in danger of being revealed.

What Doesn't Break by Cassandra Khaw

Like The Nine Eyes of Lucien, you're unlikely to get the full experience of What Doesn't Break unless you're also a viewer of Critical Role. It follows the backstory of Laudna, undead sorceress and warlock with the ghostly presence of the necromancer who once murdered her keeping residence in her mind and tugging at her strings.

Every Day (Every Day trilogy) by David Levithan

Every day, A wakes up with a new body and a new life. A has rules on how to deal with this existence - don't get attached, don't get noticed, and don't interfere. But when A finds themself falling in love, all their established rules no longer apply. This one has also been adapted as a movie!

This Body's Not Big Enough for Both of Us by Edgar Cantero

A. and Z. Kimrean are twin siblings and private eyes - they also share the same body, calling themselves A.Z. When someone starts murdering the sons and heirs of a ruthless crime boss, it falls on A.Z. Kimrean to solve the case and find the killer before all out gang war breaks out.

A Madness of Angels (Matthew Swift series) by Kate Griffin

Two years ago, sorcerer Matthew Swift was killed. Today, he woke back up. And he isn't alone in his body... Now, he seeks vengeance not only against the one who killed him, but also against the one who brought him back.

Honorary mentions AKA these didn't really work for me but maybe you guys will like them: Bone Rider by J. Fally, The Lives of Tao by Wesley Chu, What's Left of Me by Kat Zhang, Hunter of Demons by Jordan L. Hawk, Odder Still by D.N. Bryn

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pagansphinx · 3 months

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Art Movements

Art movements, "schools", artist groups, and societies do not function in the same way as they once did. There were art movements in the earlier years of contemporary art but those too have gone the way of art history. In the late 20th to 21st centuries there are no art movements to speak of, due to globalization and the sheer volume and diversity of the art world. Even Conceptual Art, which endures to this day, is more of a term or category than a movement.

Some will argue that there are lots of contemporary art movements – Minimilism, Monochrome, and Participatory Art, to name a few. True, though I see these as a club with so many members that connection and cohesiveness are impossible to achieve. That isn't to say that's bad. Again, it's due to how large, diverse, and world-wide these movements are. Everyone doesn't know everyone as they did in Impressionism or Surrealism.

An example of Monochrome Art

Robert Ryman (American, 1930-2019 • Ledger • 1982 • Enamelac paint on fibreglass, aluminium and wood • Tate Modern

l'm nostalgic about the art created before the 1950s. I like some of work done in the earlier movements of contemporary art — pop art is fun. The Fluxus Movement produced some cool stuff –à la Yoko Ono. Word Art is not my favorite, though it is unlike me to dismiss it as bad art because I've not seen much of it.

An example of Word Art

Barbara Kruger (American, b. 1945) • Untitled (Your body is a battleground) • 1989 • photographic silkscreen on vinyl

An example of Participatory Art

I "participated" in this artwork – Untitled (Portrait of Ross in L.A.). It was colorful, interesting, and fun but also very sad. I believe it was at The Whitney in New York. It's a pile of candy in confetti colored wrappings (In other installations the colors vary). It can exist in more than one location at the same time, starting with a specific weight 175 pounds (79 kg). Participants are encouraged to take one candy and the quantity diminishes. The artist, Félix González-Torres was a gay man whose partner, Ross Laycock, died of complications of HIV/AIDS in 1991. One art critic's interpretation of the art work was "the diminishment recalls how he (the artist's partner) wasted away before dying." Félix González-Torres himself died in 1996 of HIV.

Félix González-Torres (Cuban-American, 1957-1996) • Untitled (Portrait of Ross in L.A.) • 1991

What is your favorite contemporary art movement or individual artist? Please comment. You don't have to be an expert, you just have to know what you like. I'd love to hear from you!

#art #art history #art movements #contemporary art #21st century art #word art #conceptual art #monochrome art #felix-gonzales torres #barbara kruger #robert ryman #participatory art #contemporary art movements #20th century art movements #hiv/aids #queer artist #woman artist #pagan sphinx art blog #writings about art

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its-elioo · 4 months

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As someone who is long-time fan of Mlp EG and who has just finished watching TFP, your fic is true delight. I read it 5 times at least and it is still awesome. You perfectly matched girls with their autobots partners just as well as you did with decepticons as their evil counterpart. For example Twilight/Shockwave - both have high inteligence, but while one uses it for greater good and to help the others, the other abuses it to gain power and hurt the others; Fluttershy/Soundwave - even thought they are both animal lovers and quiet types, FS is just very shy girl while SW is calculating sadist; Rainbow/Starscream - Apart from being queer icons (If you can look at these two without the word gay constantly entering your mind, congrats, you´re legit cishet) they´re actually pretty similliar in function and personallity wise. They´re both eccentric, aroggant showoffs and are also fastest on their team. But it´s their differences that are making them great foils. RD is impaitent hothead, who jumps straight into action without the second thought, while SC is great schemer, who has his plans planed out. RD is literally element of loyalty, while SC is mostly loyal to himself and etc. I can´t wait to see all their interactions in the future. If you´re interested in some writting advice, there is one minor thing that can be fixed : your description of characters feelings and thought. You start explaining how and why they feel that way instead of giving readers benefit of the doubt. The best term I can think of is that you are describing a picture. Like you want us to see, hear and understand everything at once. It creates unnecessary sentences or whole paragraphs without which some emotional moments would have sounded better. For example if paragraph in Ch.2 with sentence "She was too stuborn." it would have sounded so much better. Or sentences like "She was too precious." are also kind of waste of space since they don´t tell anything new.It´s not worst type of description,but it can create a feeling that you don´t trust youre readers to read from emotions characters alone. Many new writers and comic artists are often doing this. It can be solved 2 ways : by improving their writing or start drawing comics. I´m sorry if I confussed you in some way. I tried my best to explain it, but english is not my primary language. If you don´t mind, I would recommend fics from @whatwooshkai to see what I am talking about ( it´s mostly TF shipping stuff, but man, the writting is so good that I can´t stop reading even if I wanted to). Overall great story and art, just writting needs a little improvment.

I want to finish this already long post with few questions:

1.What is group dynamic with eachother? I mean in and outside of their decided pairings. I can see Sideswipe and Rainbow´s relationship as chaos siblings and that Rainbow is definitely driving Ratchet insane, but what about the others? I´m courious to know.

2.Did you already started writting the next book? If not, do you have planned when you will start?

3.Do you consider draw this as a full time comic or at least draw some parts of it? Or drawing some strips of your incorrect quotes?It´s just that you´re artstyle is so pretty and redesigns of the autobots and girls are great. It´s shame to see so little of them.

4. Did you thought about getting your comics dubbed on youtube?

5. Do you draw ideas from the asks from your followers on Tambrlane or you take commissions only? Like if they had a idea for a comic/sketch and they post it to you, would you draw it? If not, could they draw it with your redesignes?

6. What gave you idea for this crossover? My best guess is that comic from Hasbro.

Holy- I never thought I would get such a long ask.

*rolls up sleeves and rubs hands*

Okay, let’s do this!

First, I want to thank you so much for the kind words, the fact that there are people who got really interested in my fic makes my heart flutter. <3

And I really love it when readers point out small details that I haven’t thought about that much while writing! Thank you a lot for the advice and recommendations, I really appreciate it! I will keep that in mind!

Now, to answer your questions:

1. You are absolutely correct about Sideswipe and Rainbow’s relationship, in my opinion, they will be the best chaos siblings (I am 100% sure that most of the members will go insane because of their pranks) I could write more detailed headcanons for them and the others too.

2. The next book is nearly finished, I will make sure to post it at the beginning of January.

3. I will drop more art soon, promise! Sorry for the lack of content, I’ve been pretty busy for the past few months. But now I’m finally free and I will certainly start drawing again! I also have several ideas in mind for some parts of the next book.

4. I don’t mind my comics being dubbed as long as I’m credited and they’ve asked for permission.

5. Again, if I’m credited and asked for permission, there will be no problem for other artists to draw my redesigns. I don’t usually take requests and it really depends on my free time and motivation, but if I really like the idea that has been suggested, I would (probably) draw it.

6. Good guess! But actually no. I was really into this crossover way before Hasbro decided to make a comic of it. I’ve been into a lot of fandoms and reading crossover fanfics basically became like a hobby to me. I got a lot of inspiration after I accidentally stumbled upon some pretty good written Tf/Mlp fics, but it took me a lot of time to finally get enough courage and start writing my own. I’m more than thankful for the support and love that I was given through the years! It really motivated me to keep on going!

#ask #crossover stuff #robots and magic #thank you for the questions!

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meduseld · 9 months

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Speaking of obsessing over a character so minor he was played by a stuntman to facilitate his near immediate on-screen death, to function as the symbolic herald of doom even more so that David Young, I’ve built up a Billy Orren in my head who is essentially “Hickey, but in the opposite direction”.

Or that is to say, older than the other ABs and very experienced, Billy is, like Hickey, actively hiding being gay and having a not so savory lower-class origin story and running off to sea to avoid it as well as deliberately ingratiating himself with command. The difference being, Billy’s no con-artist or proto-deserter. He’s truly good at his job and likes being at sea (and surrounded by men natch) as well as setting himself up as pointman between command and the ABs. He’s been here before, he knows it’s best. And unlike “everyone thinks he’s a freak even his friends”, everybody genuinely likes Billy. He’s extremely solid, reliable, a “brick to us boys”, dependable and easy to go to. Gets along with everyone, by design but without malice.

Henry Collins is a mistake. Not at the start, he knows to get in good with the Second Master and quickly becomes his right hand man and that’s great that’s the damn plan, to have Collins think of him first, rely on him. But he doesn’t bank on liking Collins. Generally “not overly incompetent or too dickish” is the best you can hope for. But Collins. It’s just so easy to talk to him, to say things he didn’t plan on, to actually talk about himself when Billy’s usual trick is to get the others talking and nod along. Seem like you had a great convo, but reveal nothing and cultivate good feeling but no real connection with others. The thing is something between him and Collins’ clicks, and Collins actually listens and Billy, for once, dwells on the social barriers between them when he’s usually an accept and adapt sort of guy. He wants to be close to Collins, for real this time, and Collins seems to be into him back. Collins trusts him. And sends him up to teach a kid some becket bends and Billy never comes back.

#oh no i hurt myself in my confusion #billy orren #william orren #henry collins #collins x orren #billy just wants to sail and not have to deal with feelings and shit gdi #the terror #the terror amc

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aiura-stan · 8 days

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Onto the first volume proper: volume 0, of course!!

First of all, Aso sensei’s note is so cute. I love how he says he’s been expressionless the entire time, but he really is happy. Relatable.

Aaaaaand the cover image of Saiki sure is interesting. what’s with the pipe?? I seem to remember it being a reference to another work of his somehow.

Also, volume zero announcement Saiki is very cute. His expression reminds me of a cat.

Even from the first oneshot to volume zero, you can see how much Aso sensei’s artistic abilities have improved.

That said, baby Saiki still looks very strange… I can’t overemphasize how much he improved as an artist over the course of Saiki k in drawing human characters looking natural, in pose and their clothing, expressions, etc.

I like that volume 0 Saiki’s father actually kind of looks like him. Ah… well maybe it would all be a little too real if Saiki’s family resembled him a little more. It would certainly be less whimsical. Imagine Kuniharu having black hair. Imagine Kuusuke *not* being a blonde. That would be more uncomfortable somehow. I’m glad Asou sensei made up the thing about anime hair being a result of Saiki’s powers.

More examples of why Kusuo thinks people are terribly insincere… using the most extreme of unsavory unstated thoughts.

And here we get a slightly more liberal estimate of how much time it would take for a normal person to go insane… three days instead of three hours. I think Asou sensei likes the number three, since later on he mentions that it would take Saiki three days to destroy the world if he really wanted to.

Here we have the first frontal closeup of the Saiki Scowl, after he explains the hassle of telepathy. Really, I think it’s the most taxing power on him, mentally, for obvious reasons. It really is cool that Asou sensei was able to make a “surly” character like Saiki into such an interesting protagonist. (Mostly because he’s well written.) He’s definitely not a typical manga protagonist, but he functions very nicely in his (comedic) straight man role.

Also can I just say this is one of my favorite panels of Saiki in the entire manga, and it’s not even part of the series proper… Yes, why did he, Saiki? I also want to know… I can see why this was left out of volume one. It’s not funny exactly (maybe in a kind of dark way) but god. Baby Saiki saying this tugs at my heart strings.

Head always full of thoughts of the intelligence agency organization that kidnapped him at age four… that he erased, along with the unnamed nation…

good grief.

Kuusuke would have been six at this time; maybe old enough to help with the coverup so something like that didn’t become world news. Or maybe young Saiki just decided to use mind control, since he didn’t have any compunctions about that at the time.

I dislike a Nendou with readable thoughts, or a Nendou called a “violent, foul mouthed delinquent” instead of an idiot.

That said, I really like this Saiki side eye… it’s a thoroughly Saiki expression.

LOL. Nendou would be me in the situation though. If so many people accuse you of something that you didn’t do, it’s hard not to doubt yourself a little, right?

Yeah, we get a pretty good picture of Saiki’s pretty rational moral compass. Someone like Nendou definitely deserves it, but even so, he shouldn’t be punished for a crime he didn’t commit in Saiki’s eyes. Especially when the heinous perpetrator is right there all along.

Also, Takahashi’s (saiki-caused hallucination) angel counterpart looks just like him, but female. Interesting.

That Saiki can manipulate someone like this by altering their moral compass sure is something. Makes me think of this post.

Lastly and certainly not least, Saiki isn’t escaping the gay allegations even in volume zero… lol. That’s a priceless facial expression. “This power is useless except for getting idiots to like you” smh, so unappreciative of the new friend, Saiki. XD

That will do it for vol. 0-1!

I’ll be back tomorrow for 0-2.

#read-saiki #read-saiki 0-1 #meta #this one is a lil less image heavy #tried to pare it down so if you wanna see some of the things im referencing. best to read along with the mamga

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kurtmckinnon · 7 months

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Literally too gay to function. (Executive function, that is. :P) #NationalComingOutDay #disGAYbled

One reason I am so open about being part of the LGBTQ community as well as #ActuallyAutistic is that both of these things are still very much stigmatized and misunderstood.

I overcame years of self-loathing to get to a point where I could even consider owning a shirt like this. I wear it now to show others that they don't have to be ashamed, and that we can live on our own terms in a world that wants us to go away. THAT is the essence of NCOD.

BTW you can find this tee and other quality pride merch at Rainbow & Co, an autistic-owned shop:

Design by UK tattoo artist Kris Coles. (Support independent creators!) Good interview w/Kris about his experiences as a bi man diagnosed with autism as an adult: https://unicornzine.com/issue-006/bisexual-on-the-spectrum-being-queer-autistic

#nothing about us without us #national coming out day #🧡🤍🩷#wlw pride #actually autistic #pride merch #the kelley show

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blcssom · 2 months

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after what feels like YEARS i've finally finished the muse page built into my theme (u can find a less fun/detailed list of my new muses here too) which means it's time for a STARTER CALL : ' )))

below the cut are my new muses and a lil bit abt them !! like this and i'll throw you a few starters with my new/rebranded babies !! note: i'll likely slide in your dms to ask if there's anyone in particular you're interested in <3

abigail hyland || twenty9 - waitress/folk singer // bisexual // margaret qualley

mean trailer park queen trying to bury her white trash roots and fear of abandonment !!!

catherine meyer || forty3 - interior designer // bisexual // jessica chastain

walking cleanliness complex who holds herself and everyone else around her to impossibly high standards

daphne barlowe || thirty3 - art curator // bisexual // meghann fahy

trust fund baby who resents her upbringing but not enough to stop living off of their money altogether O:)

ines morreno || twenty5 - bottle girl (succubus au) // bisexual // camila morrone

literal demon (if u so choose) who goes through men faster than she goes through singles on a busy night at the club

josie tanaka || twenty7 - vet tech // bisexual // fivel stewart

likes animals more than she likes ANY human but is willing to forego judgement until you share a blunt w/ her and she can suss out the vibe

lydia xiao || twenty5 - classical violinist // bisexual // havana rose liu

sheltered princess strikes out on her own !!! as much as you can when you're auditioning to join the met :' )

maeve willis || twenty8 - assistant choreographer // bisexual // taylor russell

people pleaser w/ the memory of a goldfish !!! REALLY wants to do a good job but REALLY can't say no when someone invites her out either so... c'est la vie

rosie burton || thirty2 - florist (royal au) // bisexual // laura harrier

classic oldest child mother to all but lacking a caretaker herself but that's !! fine !! she's fine !!

sylvie bane || twenty4 - social media influencer // bisexual // lily rose depp

party princess desperate to prove she can make it w/ out daddy's money or a rich s/o (spoiler alert: she can't xx)

taylor corbyn || twenty3 - drummer // homosexual // reneé rapp

GAY and way more confident abt it until she actually has to act !! queen of talking a big game and absolutely blowing it after that

beau crawford || twenty7 - phys ed teacher // bisexual // mason gooding

just a big ole puppy witfh too much energy not even a day of back-to-back p.e. classes can burn it off !! good vibes only except when he doesn't get what he wants :o

dominic hyland || thirty - dj/bartender // bisexual // nicholas galitzine

chasing down his abandonment issues with straight gin and pretending it's fine !!! absolutely not running from his own traumatic past why would u ask that

ezra bhatti || thirty8 - tattoo artist // bisexual // rahul kohli

v chill v calm v antisocial and yet always somehow at the center of all the action !! unbearable know it all that's probably why he just HAD to correct someone

hugo danaher || twenty9 - firefighter // bisexual // paul mescal

reckless physically and emotionally always falling in love and always running into burning buildings w/out thinking twice

jace warren || twenty8 - mechanic // bisexual // nick robinson

basically raised seven siblings in a double wide when his parents bailed and he's TIRED now v responsible but also v apathetic deadly combo

jacob park || thirty3 - newspaper editor // bisexual // charles melton

perfectionist who keeps succeeding but the bar is just getting higher and he's !! nervous !! golden child of his family and they're banking on his success no pressure

miguel avila || forty4 - literary agent (vampire au) // bisexual // oscar isaac

functioning alcoholic who soothes whiny writers all day he's doing GREAT !! failed (in his own mind) writer who's helping others live out their dreams yay

oliver kothari || thirty5 - pediatrician // bisexual // dev patel

came across the pond to escape his mother but she just followed him here so... constantly being the perfect boy but v lonely up on his pedastal

reid whittman || thirty4 - fashion photographer // bisexual // callum turner

party boy photographer living his bachelor dream even tho it isn't !! actually his dream but it's what he's good at so .... luvs being the fun uncle his TRUE calling

thomas thorne || forty2 - novelist (pirate au) // bisexual // michiel huisman

dramatic nervous king prone to rambling on about his ideas but then never actually following thru with them :' )

#casually have been working on revamping my muses for three months this is a labor of LOVE #or procrastination i'm gonna go w/ love tho #( starter call. )#indie bi rp #indie open rp #indie rp #prioritizing mutuals but i worked HARD-ish on this today so opening it to the tags

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wen-kexing-apologist · 9 months

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Get to Know Me Ask Game

Alright, alright, alright; I guess peer pressure works because I have been tagged in this game by @colourme-feral, @rocketturtle4, and @telomeke. Thank you all for making me feel popular!

RULES: bold the ones that are true & tag 10 people to do it.

APPEARANCE

blonde hair (ish- most people have referred to my hair as dirty blonde, but it leans on the darker/brown side of dirty blonde) // I prefer loose clothing to tight clothing (yes, hello I am trans with titties I do not want people seeing) // I have one or more piercings (yes, I have my ears pierced technically, but am allergic to metals so very rarely wear earrings) // I have at least one tattoo (yes, I have three at the moment and will definitely get more in the future) // I have dyed or highlighted my hair (yes, not currently but I have dyed it in the past, my hair has been raspberry and blue) // I have gotten plastic surgery (no) // I have or had braces (yes, for a couple years, I got them off on Halloween though, so I was in costume when they came off and my orthodontist gave me a bag of candy on my way out) // I sunburn easily (yes, I am white lol.) // I have freckles (yes) // I paint my nails (no, only on very rare occasions and usually for exactly one evening) // I typically wear makeup (no, only on very rare occasions) // I don’t often smile (fully depends where I am, whoI am with, and what is going on) // I am pleased with how I look (I know I have a conventionally attractive body, but my face? different story, I think I have started to like how I look more as I have settled in to my gender expression though) // I prefer Nike to Adidas (I think I end up Nike shoes far more often, not sure if I have ever owned a pair of adidas, but my brand loyalty is to Converse only) // I wear baseball hats backwards (yes, sometimes, and almost exclusively for gay reasons. If I am wearing a baseball cap for sun reasons it is going on the right way round)

HOBBIES & TALENTS

I play a sport (Yes, I used to do fencing and now do Historical European Martial Arts) // I can play an instrument (yes, I used to be a pretty decent flute and piccolo player, I can technically also play piano though I was never officially trained in it and therefore am not very good) // I am artistic (yes, I can draw okay, I like doing cross stitch, and I have a degree in theater where I primaroly focused on technical theater and design) // I know more than one language (Fluently? No. Partially? Yes.) // I have won a trophy in some sort of competition (Yes? I can't really recall, but I know I had trophies in my room from things I had done, and I feel like maybe my middle school band placed in a state music competition one of the years I was on it? I have won awards/prizes in competitions though for sure) // I can cook or bake without a recipe (Yes, I can cook without a recipe. I am a pretty good baker, but I would never bake without a recipe, that shit is chemistry) // I know how to swim (yes) // I enjoy writing (lol yeah, if you have not seen my analyses on this website already...also I do just enjoy writing for fun outside of TV show analyses too) // I can do origami (ish, I can make an origami heart mostly from memory, and if I follow instructions can probably do a couple other things, but I'm not like, proficient in it) // I prefer movies to tv shows (no, give me long form storytelling or give me death! just kidding, there are movies I love but I almost always prefer TV) // I can execute a perfect somersault (as a child, yes. I used to do gymnastics, as an adult, no. I do not have the spine or joint function for that anymore) // I enjoy singing (yes I enjoy singing, no I do not have a good voice, and you are all welcome for never subjecting anyone to it) // I could survive in the wild on my own (I can build a shelter, I know how to make a fire, but I honestly would never presume to believe that I could survive in the wild, and how long I am able to make it would depend entirely on where I was and what tools I had at my disposal) // I have read a new book series this year (no, I don't think I have, dang) // I enjoy spending time with friends (yes, yes, yes I love spending time with my friends, if I am not physically hanging out with my friends I am usually on some social media platform talking to my friends. I love my friends!) // I travel during work or school breaks (I always used to travel during school breaks, I am out of school now, I don't really have work breaks, but I do still travel. When I changed jobs I did a lot of traveling in the week between ending my old job and starting my new one, and I am actually going on a trip this weekend) // I can do a handstand (on land? no, lol. I would break something. Though I am pretty sure I used to be able to do that as a child...in a pool where gravity is not working against me, absolutely I can)

RELATIONSHIP

I am in a relationship (no, so if anyone is wanting to request my hand in marriage, my ask box is open) // I have been single for over a year (yes, please see previous comment) // I have a crush (maybe just a little bit, though I'm not sure if it is a crush or if it is just someone I would be interested in attempting to go on a date with) // I have a best friend who I’ve known for ten years (yes! Multiple! The secret is to just not talk to eachother for years at a time, and then see eachother once every two years and pick up exactly where you left off) // my parents are together (no, thank god) // I have dated my best friend (no, I had a really good friend that I "dated" in high school, but like..in the way that we held hands like four times and never went on an actual date. I have had multiple best friends that people think I am dating though.) // I am adopted // my crush has confessed to me // I have a long distance relationship (yes, with friends. No for romantic partners. // I am an only child // I give advice to my friends (Yes, always have done, always will do.) // I have made an online friend (yes, many!) // I met up with someone I have met online (yes, many! And will meet even more soon!)

AESTHETICS

I have heard the ocean in a conch shell (yes, we had a conch shell in our house growing up, so I listened to it all the time) // I have watched the sun rise (I actually don't know if I have intentionally watched a sun rise, but I have certainly been up late enough at night that I see the sun rise, which is when I then say 'oh fuck, I really need to be asleep) // I enjoy rainy days (I used to enjoy them a lot, now I have a lot of musculoskeletal pain that gets worse when it rains so I don't like it as much anymore) // I have slept under the stars (like under under with no protection? no. But I have been camping multiple times so yes technically, I was just in a tent) // I meditate outside (I don't really meditate, period.) // the sound of chirping calms me (the birds around me are loud and annoying as fuck, but there is some chirping I enjoy and that can be calming) // I enjoy the smell of the beach (yes! I would be betraying my homeland if I didn't like the way the beach smelled) // I know what snow tastes like (DO NOT EAT SNOW! DO NOT!) // I listen to music to fall asleep (yes, I alternate between just the sound of ocean waves, cello music with rain in the background, or more recently a Gymnopedie playlist) // I enjoy thunderstorms (Again, I used to love thunderstorms, we had so many of them where I grew up and when I moved away there were not nearly as many and that made me love them even more. But now, my body is fucked and when there is a thunderstorm the change in pressure in the air literally makes me feel like the fluids in my joints are bubbling/carbonated) // I enjoy cloud watching (i do enjoy it, I just have not done it in a very long time) // I have attended a bonfire (yes, many. when I would go on camping trips or when my neighbors burned the Christmas trees people were otherwise throwing out in like February and they'd invite people over.) // I pay close attention to colors (yes, please refer to my pinned gay analysis assembly post on my tumblr page for a number of different essays about color) // I find mystery in the ocean (Yes. we have explored more of space than we have the ocean, I love the ocean but the prospect of what is in there does scare me. From a non-horror perspective, there is a reason why so much gay media has an underwater kiss and it's cause bodies of water are the guardians of many secrets) // I enjoy hiking on nature paths (Do I do it often? No. Do I enjoy it? Very much so, yes) // autumn is my favorite season (Autumn was not really a thing where I grew up but now I am somewhere where the leaves change and it is so beautiful. I love the weather, the temperature is always near perfect for my tastes, I get to break out the apple cider and the hot chocolate, and Halloween is in autumn here so what is not to love?)

MISCELLANEOUS

I can fall asleep in a moving vehicle (didn't used to be able to fall asleep at all once I was awake, didn't used to be able to sleep in moving vehicles, but now? I am so sleepy) // I am the mom friend (Yes. I am the mom friend, dad friend, cool aunt friend, etc etc. what can I say? I contain multitudes) // I live by a certain quote (no, but there are many quotes I love) // I like the smell of sharpies (no) // I am involved in extracurricular activities (technically HEMA, but my attendance has been low recently due to high pain months. But I am moving soon and hoping to start doing additional extracurricular activities after I relocate) // I enjoy Mexican food (yes, of course! Refried beans? Yellow rice? Tamales? Mole?) // I can drive a stick shift (technically. I have been taught to drive stick shift, I have driven stick shift before, but I am not comfortable driving stick shift. I could do it in an emergency or if no other option was available to me. I just stalled a lot when I was learning and instead of taking me safe places to learn how to drive it, my Dad would just throw me in to the busiest intersections which made it extremely stressful when I would stall out. But we figured out I was sitting too far back to get the clutch all the way down, and I had no issues that last time I did drive stick.) // I believe in true love (this is a complicated question, I don't know that I have a way to describe my actual thoughts on it, so let me just say I stand with La Pluie in saying that any and all relationships take work, regardless of fate) // I make up scenarios to fall asleep (Yes, I used to do it a lot as a kid. I would make up scenarios where I would have to be sleeping so that I would get to sleep, and now if music or white noise doesn't get me to sleep, I will make up a scenario. But I don't need to as much anymore) // I sing in the shower (Yes of course! What else is a shower for if not to best disguise my terrible singing voice?) // I wish I lived in a video game (lol, no. The videos games I play? Absolutely not! I would be consumed by a hoard of rats, or eaten by a sea monster, or be impaled on thorns) // I have a canopy above my bed (no) // I am multiracial (no) // I am a redhead (no) // I own at least 3 dogs (no)

Not sure that I have seen @shortpplfedup, @neuroticbookworm, @so-much-yet-to-learn2, @solitaryandwandering, @respectthepetty, @ginnymoonbeam, @dribs-and-drabbles tagged in this yet. Anyone who wants to play, I hereby tag you as well.

#tag game #get to know me

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fioras-resolve · 10 months

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So like, representation in games is weird. It's critically important, but uniquely challenging due to the nature of interactivity. And a big part of this is that there's, by my estimate, two separate tracks for how representation works in video games. I'm going to be talking primarily about queer rep here, because I am a white, American, and (mostly) able-bodied transbian. If anyone wants to add on to this conversation, I absolutely encourage it, so long as you don't fling shit at people. So!

The first track of representation is one that's mostly unique to games. Representation as player empowerment. This manifests as giving players the freedom to be and express themselves in the game world.

So like, character creators are the most obvious example. What gender can you be? What race? What body type? A thing I've seen a few games do that I love is letting you pick any voice set regardless of the rest of your character, so like in Baldur's Gate III, you can pick a masculine voice but a feminine body, and that's just really cool.

Another way it's important is with romance options when applicable. Like, it was a problem with the early Mass Effect games that you couldn't enter a gay male relationship. It was a problem with Fire Emblem Awakening that for all of its marriage options across characters, apparently none of your 30+ units were interested in a same-gender marriage. Functionally, you aren't allowed to be gay in these games. So Mass Effect 3 letting you date Steve Cortez, and Fire Emblem Three Houses giving several options for queer S-Supports (although I haven't played the Mass Effect games and some of FE3H's romances are controversial) were welcome changes.

But the other track is representation as storytelling, and this is pretty broad. Basically every topic in the representation discourse surrounding other forms of media also applies here. I'm not gonna go into this too much because you've heard a lot about this already, but in my opinion it's important to have positive representation that mainstreams us to society, but also diverse representation because the human experience is vast. We need the joy, the sorrow, the rage, all of it, and games offer a unique artistic space to convey all of this.

...But sometimes, these two tracks rub up against each other. Because storytelling sometimes means disempowerment, but a disempowered player can often be viewed as "bad game design" by people who aren't thinking of video games as stories or art, but as entertainment or toys.

For example, remember when I mentioned Three Houses? That game was a massive stride in queer rep for Fire Emblem. But I had an annoyance as I looked through these romantic options. While yes, some characters can married as the same gender, all of them can also be married as the opposite gender. In fact, there is nobody in this game that a straight person can't date. Opposite-gender attraction is a given and the default. Everybody is either straight or bisexual.

To be clear here, because I know people are going to get at me for this, no I'm not against bisexual representation in Fire Emblem. I'm not even criticizing any individual example, Dorothea is one of my favorite characters. But what I am saying is that, in real life, some people are exclusively gay. There are a lot of men who a woman would never be able to date, and vice versa. I don't think that's a bad thing to want to express.

But from a pure empowerment angle, having a woman that a straight man can't marry is incomprehensible. Isn't having more choices better, rather than blocking someone off for "choosing the wrong gender?" I've actually heard this point from someone, phrased in this exact way, and I can't really sugarcoat this: I find it repugnant.

It's a stance that views these characters as entitlements and not as people worthy of respect. And I know that these are fictional characters and not real people, but a good character isn't just a proxy for audience expression. Also, if we take "romance as player expression" to its natural conclusion, then having a character who is asexual becomes bad game design. A character romantically inaccessible to me, the protagonist of the world? Blasphemy.

I think the real important thing about games is that, even outside of representation, "the player should be empowered" is a view that's often unspoken but unquestioned. A game can be moving, tragic, heartfelt, but it must also be an experience where you, the audience, are fucking cool. Every obstacle exists for you to rise above, every entity in the world that isn't you is either a tool or an adversary. Meg Jayanth calls this "White Protagonism" in her excellent piece that I couldn't do justice here. Keep in mind as always that it's both possible and necessary to enjoy media while also being critical of its more problematic aspects.

Empowerment is a valuable tool in game design like any other, but the issue is that it's also extremely popular, to the point where it's just become what games are. And it's worth pushing back against that, so games can grow as a medium. So that we can tell stories, and have characters, and convey themes, that aren't tied up in a game designer's quest to make the protagonist the coolest guy.

But despite how critical I've been, these two tracks aren't mutually exclusive. They do clash with each other sometimes, but ultimately there's room for both. I look forward to the day I can play a bog-standard RPG that lets me change gender mid-game. I look forward to playing a polyamorous character, in a game that recognizes that as valid. But I also look forward to more characters like Guilty Gear's Bridget, an actual character who goes through a genuine journey of discovery, in a way that's warmed the hearts of so many trans women, including me. Ultimately, we just need queer rep in games, more of it, and it's never been a better time to make some. Just remember, there's a difference between letting the player be queer, and having a queer character.

#game design #fire emblem #queer representation

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sharonisthebettercarter · 7 months

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Hai.

How do you measure your top and bottoms? I will likely greatly regret asking.

oh HIIII @diamonddung~<3<3<3!

why yes. yes you will<3 i never did get that answer on fiona's nick valentine % <3 tho you may need to amend billy's % lmao<3<3<3

as a bonafide too queer to function lunatic and multishipper who *hates* catty supremacist false dichotomy fandom bullshit because of all the unnecessary problems it causes (you know me, lmao, bit of another psa in here i guess given multiship tags and yes, i am still upset about the thing with the artist)? ya know i'm a little out there and not quite with the 'in' crowd of the chunk of cis het women who take party~ in the shipping world~<3 no shade, but it does tend to change one's perspective. i do feel there's lots of shipping discourse that may miss the mark/certain character elements in favor of...

well, normally just plain ol' over-sexualization from some horny ass people lfmao, (homie's scene with doppelhomie is a good example, the trauma presented on his face was ignored in favor of the selfcest fantasy, but in antony starr's words, homie wasn't interested, he was traumatized :((() but also unfortunately... echhh i gotta say it!

hetero-normalizing gay ships and then treating the kink presentation like a goddamn religion... the amount of times i have those 'are the straights okay???' moments are just...

LMAO, all in good fun of course<3 let's not kink shame.

it's fine to have different kinks and discourse, disagreements over how you view characters or what you like, even be enthusiastic with your own views and shout them out to the heavens~! it's *NOT* fine to try and police, dehumanize, or discourage others from enjoying what they like just because it's *different* from you and they exist in a *shared* space.

friendly important reminder to *ship and let ship*, *art and let art* however that may be. even if i don't like the way a ship is presented or voice how *i* personally feel about it, i would *never* try to or even have the gall to tell someone *no, you can't do that, my way or the highway*

It does NOT *exclude* you to *include* others. It costs nothing to be *nice* or simply DNI. This is NOT a dichotomy. Fandoms do NOT need additional toxicity and bullying over something so *trivial* as fictional bullshit. EVER.

"i don't like bullies... i don't care where they're from." ;)

anywho~<3 i love top/bottom exploration because i have a very bad BAD~<3 dominance kink, but switching definitely gets the most downplaying/ignoring with a heavy focus on... mmm, i suppose often, more superficial elements half the time and i'll admit some of mine def are~ lmao nose size. and i don't say that to dissuade any writers, young or old. i say it to *encourage* moar deep diving<3<3<3 and even questioning the way you might think/listening to new perspectives~<3!

we all start somewhere and have times of exploration/learning~<3 learning moar and challenging yourself? that's a *good* thing<3<3<3 but sadly, not always valued (it should be!) :(

but apart from canon dynamices/character depth/personality to the best of my ability/understanding? the long answer is ANAL GAPE~<3

among other things, i'm sure that makes no sense whatsoever<3 because some other factors do get thrown in. intelligence because i'm a morosexual and LOVE big dumb tops<3<3<3, practicality super anuses are a death trap to not be played with however super phalli~, and weirdly... nose size. i'm not kidding!

yeah i know some idiot out there told me nose size is apparently related to phallus size and testosterone levels OH WAIT-- but oddly enough...? i think there may be some kinda instinct there LOL, because it seemed to registered in my brain the same way i registered my top/bottoms for the most part, even *before* learning that...

and i *swear*... i'll come back to this shit cause it's hilarious, but even in fanart, you'll see many artists subconsciously/purposefully give the guy they want to 'top' a bigger nose... even if he has a smaller one. ;)))))))))))))))))

BUTT ANAL GAPE! WHAT IS IT!?

not the nasty version ya nasties~<3

it basically boils down to... how big of an ASSHOLE is this asshole... just wide do those booty cheeks spread with the level a disrespect-- how *badly* does he *need* a good railing and prostate MMPH~<3<3<3! or even spanking~<3 how much of a control freak is he? how stubborn~? how far do those bitchy manipulative little devil vibes go~<3<3<3 what does he *want*? really want. figurative dick energy? is he compensating for something? is he in need of, holdin' out for a hero~<3<3<3? how so? how far from the goal of expressing positive masculinity are we and why? just how toxic we talkin~? i'm slippin' under<3

what is the outward presentation being given vs. the one he gives privately/with those he loves? there's a pretty big difference sometimes and it can say a lot. naturally gentle doms like kal-el or steve rogers i see get mislabeled for that old thing, 'mistaking kindness for weakness', so to speak. but as a general rule, they say that in the bedroom~ people actually tend to give the opposite of what they present in their day to day lives/'those with the most control of their lives are secretly the most submissive' or something along those lines, and it makes sense that things would manifest that way when you think about it. (ironically learned about this *after* learning my kinks)

a good example would be billy butcher, who gives the outward presentation of being rough and ragged and 'in control' wannabe logan, but is extremely soft, caring and submissive with those he loves<3 contrast with homelander who has had ZERO control over his own life from day one and *really* likes it rough when he gets the chance and--

boi lemme tell ya hwat--

it's a number of things, lmao, and the calculations in my head are automatic and will not make sense in numbers. so.

i don't think i need to explain much on anal gape when it comes to scott summers, lex luthor, bruce wayne, tony stark, and especially... *especially* billy butcher.

but lets not forget the added morosexual aspect~ which *can* even override anal gape! so let's go over what every one a my tagged ship bottoms might be saying to their big dumb idiot animal tops being DUMB<3<3<3

scott: *glares violently*

lex: *glares in pure bitch trying to hide the horny*

bucky: steve... what the fuck.

tony: *hard eye rolling and harder cuddling*

bruce: . . .

charles: ERIK!?

billy: *as he takes off his clothes* why... are you a brainless cunt?

pay no mind to homie's indignant huffing with a side of horny in response (somebody find me that goddamn meme lmao<3), and brucie might still be processing clark's stupidity lol<3

it's funny tho, cause i have competency kink too~<3 and i love me a good boi team up/learnin' as we go~<3<3<3

practicality? pretty self explanatory... way back when... dc gave us detail on the urinals of the justice league and pretty much confirmed man of steel, woman of kleenex (my favorite<3). i could not make this shit up-- (thanks btw dd for sending me this shit now i HAVE to share it)

so. given that we know superman's piss stream is strong enough to *dent* reinforced titanium steel when *weakened*--.

do i really have to say much about his sphincter? it makes diamonds, it makes fucking diamonds, do not stick anything up there unless you wanna lose it forever.

from a practical sense, i never like making it *easy* for clark~<3 to bone someone lmao, it's just too fun<3<3<3 (blue k is always an option of course) but also... he can vibrate it (along with his fingers and tongue), he has infinite stamina. and he has no refractory period... ;)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

homelander is much the same, maybe with an added *lack* of control and def a bit moar scary leik, might deliberately murder you scary but STILL--

you could not fucking *PAY* me to miss a goddamn chance for superweiner--

not sure i wanna think about what martian manhunter has... but i'd still let him do whatever to me, honestly<3 he'd be the BEST gentle dom i *swear*. like he'd literally check in and politely ask on you instead of reading your mind and check for any discomfort and be SO SWEET and tender and caring, making sure you're okay the whole time and just genuinely give you an experience you're never gonna forget leik<3<3<3 J'ONN~<3! HHHHHHNNNNNNNNNNNNGGGHHHHHHHHHHHH~<3<3<3

oops... ignore that--

and as for nose size~<3?

well~<3 OBVIOUSLY i want my bottoms to be getting the best they can<3 i SPOIL the shit out of them! of course we NEED the guy with the bigger dong nose to top, they should be havin' a grand ol' time~!

but back to that artist thing and genuinely, genuinely amazing. it's almost like a guarantee and i don't even know if people are aware of doing it, but it is always so hilarious and adorable to me. *especially* with billy butcher, the star of the anal gape show<3<3<3

"they just can't get my nose right!"

and of course no shade/disrespect to the actor (his nose is so goddamn cute<3<3<3 and i love it<3) or any other actors, or artists, but even *becca* (her nose is also cute and i love it~<3) had a bigger nose than him. seriously. homie's nose is fiiiiine~<3 but also actually bigger and longer. and it's just... ALMOST *guaranteed*. anyone who sees billy as a 'top' while drawing him *automatically* gives him the bigger/longer nose... and it just blows my mind how amazingly consistent that seems to be LOL (apparently like the study done on noses and weiners!)

what does that say about us, i wonder...?? (no seriously, i really wonder<3) adamant denial~<3 maybe? ;))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

billy boo does have the biggest eyes tho~<3<3<3

and apparently, did look it up... but it works inversely with bmi?? which... 100000% explains willem dafoe<3<3<3

it ALSO pretty much... confirms show homelander as their very own willem dafoe/norman osborn... and i never thought i'd have it THIS down bad for osborn but i can't with the things that does to me-- I'VE BEEN CONVERTED!! like the boi *already* is confimed *HUGE* canonically. *by BILLY* in the comic!

but by the gods--

down to the lovely eyes, scary smile, and psychosis. so it is that history repeats... hello mad daddy~<3

god i need to watch dafoe's spooderman again<3

I guess billy boo is now confirmed to be actually *compensating* for SOOOOOO much--

welp. i guess this explains why billy called himself an 'alpha male' unironically which i will never let him live down~<3 he already has the biggest gape i have EVER seen on a character. EVER. like. this boi. has enough gape to fit a goddamn planet up his ass. let's be generous and say that show boi billy is just at moon level. but it is still just. HUGE. which i guess makes homie just the perfect match for him given the willem dafoe vibes--

and honestly... it's beautiful<3

and the best part about billy is just how *self aware* he is of this. he postures to high hell and plays the part his dad would want him to, but he knows it's a goddamn problem, *addiction*, *hates* it, and spends his life looking for *solutions* and *self punishment*...

that's homie baby~<3

billy considered becca his *cure* (if the clear cut submissive role he took with her wasn't enough<3<3<3 SO CUTE<3<3<3) but *homelander* is the *replacement*. his *last resort*. cut my life into pieces--NOOOOO--

goddammit billy boo, i *really* do feel for you, i do... but lemme translate what billy butcher is *actually* saying in both the show and comic in going after homelander. cause lemme tell ya it ain't just revenge...

*destroy me, eviscerate me. because i am afraid of what i will do if you can't stop me. and because you took away the one who could save me, you owe me this and i will take it if need be.*

because there's *one* thing that billy fears, and he's had the ability to say it, even feel it... beaten out of him. but he almost always fully goes into battle *not* intending to come out of it. he *wants* to die and he hates himself a whole lot... and he knows. it's the thing his father gave him, the sickness he passed on that billy never wanted but can't control. but this would also be why he gives no fucks about 'collateral'.

even if by force or violence, billy wants to fail, he wants to be held down, he *wants* to lose, he wants to get knocked back down until he can't get back up anymore. he sure as hell isn't gonna make it easy for anyone, that's not in his nature, but he knows what happens if he can keep going.

billy knows he's a monster, but he is preconditioned to never control it. he sees the kindred monster in homelander, preconditioned to be *under control* but slipping through and vying to get loose... but homelander, despite everything *still* has control... billy wants to see it break, he *needs* it.

ugh~<3<3<3 yes, i know i am redundant with this shit<3 but it's just SO poetic<3<3<3 i CANNOT--

even season 3 evidenced their dynamic and dug in perfectly. scorched urf? the candle's fuckin' lit. herogasm? 3 on 1. ONLY A BRUISE--. billy, bloody smile~ comes back for more? billy gets his ass kicked by the dad on his own and only *maeve* gets anything done to homelander... who doesn't want to kill her, so he holds back even if she won't.

"i respect what you are even if you don't--."

got. damn...

but homie? he's the last lifeline, and he's tied to *both* sides of billy. and a people pleaser<3<3<3! who's also too dumb to get what's going on with billy, not that he'd care if he did... who's at the same time caught and curious by billy's obsession and the mirror between them<3

homie wants and knows how to please people... not just because he's been trained for it or a clear cut service top with dark~<3 elements<3<3<3 or because he wants the feeling he gets from their approval/admiration. very typical of a narcissist lmao, but also because of the added vulnerability that he is easily manipulated/exploited by the women in his life, not realizing he's a victim or being groomed/manipulated.

even the uh... *moment* he had with stillwell, she exploits his trauma and desire for a mother so directly that he just totally loses it and profusely appologizes. he's aware of how to *please* someone if ya get me~<3 ;))))))) (by the apology given at all) but he's *not* aware that she is abusing/exploiting his trauma in this way *because he lacks empathy for himself/has never genuinely had it given without some sort of exploitive exchange*, sort of opposite of billy in this sense too. poor dumb baby~<3!

what's really extra hilarious and ironic is that stormfront is pretty much what a lady billy would be but nowhere near as good as manipulating as him

but all homelander has ever known is the *examples* set before him by vought. and it's... quite obviously not a good one... :(((((((((((((((((( but he's *not* aware. billy is much the same, but he *is* aware. hence the deep buried cravings to be *free* vs. fucking approval ratings in homie, and *controlled* vs. lack of self control in billy... goddammit the fucking POETRY<3<3<3

so? it's just more of the same old same old. and homie loves, LOVES not having to hold back once he gets a taste for it... with *stormfront* no less... but *also* from billy in a different sense and now... beyond. still ADORE how he went flaccid on the nazi rhetoric lmao even this boi has his limits<3--

"let's light this candle--"

it's already fucking lit--

... you know full well how excited i get, lmao<3 and ya DID ask<3<3<3 XD

everyone else (to homelander): don't be what they made you... please for the love of fucking gawd, PLEASE--

billy: be what they fucking made you motherfucker, i wanna fuck FIGHT and see everything destroyed. i'll wait.

stormfront: be what we fucking made you, i wanna fuck and see everything not us destroyed. i won't wait.

but the short answer? i go by % of willem dafoe energy, the *CORRECT* answer is WILLEM DAFOE<3<3<3 (not to be confused with norman osborn... unless willem dafoe<3) DUH~!

WOOO-- goddamn... and i ain't even done yet. i spend WAY too much time obsessing over these fuckers, i SWEAR.

and ALSO the ladies~<3 are tops. all of them. ALL OF THEM. NO EXCEPTIONS-- lmao, KIDDING... maybe<3 (i might do another one going over mah lady~<3 ships<3<3<3 cause this got long... and i did get carried away with butchy and homie... of course i did. but you know how i love them<3<3<3)

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