#the fact that they are friends is such a win for the lesbian community

[lurkingshan]

On Boston and Brian Kinney

I’ve seen a lot of folks in the Only Friends tag recently making connections between the show and Queer as Folk, both US and UK versions, which makes sense because QaF is a clear reference for the show, both visually and thematically, and we know Jojo likes to reference western media in his work. One parallel folks are drawing is not tracking for me, however, so I am jumping in the wayback machine and putting on my old QaF stan hat to talk to y’all about Brian Kinney, and why Boston is actually nothing like him. Tagging @bengiyo and @neuroticbookworm who talked this through with me and also @slayerkitty because I saw you were contemplating this connection between the two characters.

So, first, why are people making this comparison? It really boils down to one thing: Brian and Boston are both sluts. That’s… pretty much it. They both like sex and prefer to have it with many different partners, and neither has much use for monogamy. But this is pretty much where their similarities end. 

So let’s remind ourselves who Brian Kinney is: a kind of fantasy of a hot, rich, self-actualized gay man with unmatched sexual prowess and a surface level flippancy masking a heart of gold. Brian is an adult man with a thriving career and money that he earned for himself after leaving his abusive and homophobic family (who would eventually explicitly reject him because of his sexuality). As a result, he is defiant in his commitment to live his life as loudly and queerly as possible—which includes a dedication to fucking and sucking, public sex, and a rejection of heteronormative constructs like monogamy.

Brian has a very clear moral code he lives by, even if it’s not one most can relate to. He decides to have a son with his (lesbian) best friend because part of him wants to believe in a better future and build a family of his own. He is extremely loyal to his found family even as he’s a jerk to their face most of the time, and he is always working behind the scenes to protect them even as he often hurts their feelings with his glib remarks and shitty behavior. Despite his disdain for monogamy, he never actually tries to destroy any of his friends’ happy relationships (in fact, he tries to sacrifice his own friendship with Michael to ensure he stays with his boyfriend).

Brian has a sense of responsibility to others and often takes on the blame for things he didn’t even do, which is why he takes baby gay Justin to Debbie and ensures he is cared for even as he tries to dissuade Justin from getting attached to him, and why he cares for Justin in the aftermath of his bashing. He cares deeply about his community, to the point where he pours his money into protecting the local gay scene, literally bankrupts himself to stop an anti-gay politician from winning an election, and gives up a dream job to stay put in Pittsburgh and help rebuild the community after a hate crime.

Brian is unflinchingly honest and he avoids making promises because once he does, he knows he will absolutely keep them—he takes his commitments seriously and he always does what he says he will. When he falls in love, he does not abandon his core values but he is willing to make some compromises. And he hides his better self and often wallows in self-destructive behavior because he feels deeply unworthy of love, which goes back to the intergenerational trauma he experienced as a child in an abusive home and the parental rejection he felt due to his sexuality. 

Boston, by contrast, is a character who feels more rooted in reality. He’s a pampered rich kid who is indulged in his hobbies and who already has a life plan laid out for him and paid for by his daddy. He likes to sleep around mostly because it’s fun, and because he knows his life here is temporary so he doesn’t see any point in getting attached to people. In stark contrast to Brian’s out and proud and fuck you if you have a problem with it brand of politics, he is still trying to hide who he is in service of his father’s political career, even if he’s pretty sloppy about it (see him fucking Top in a car with giant windows parked in the driveway at a house party).

Boston’s moral code is fungible and ever-changing to fit his circumstances—boy is a hypocrite (see his opinions about people filming and photographing him even as he does the same to others constantly). He has no loyalty and no qualms about hurting and betraying his friends, and actively tries to destroy their relationships for sport or as a means to get what he wants. He does not feel responsible for anyone and often lies and ducks accountability for the things he does. He does not care about his community at all, and in fact already has a NYC escape hatch in his back pocket for when he inevitably burns his bridges. He is not as honest as Brian and sends a lot of mixed messages to keep people guessing and on the hook.

Rather than hurting people by being brutally honest as Brian does, Boston plays psychological games and manipulates his friends and lovers, and he seems to take twisted pleasure in blowing up their happiness. We haven’t seen him make a promise or fall in love, and while there are some signs that he may have some sort of inferiority complex at play (with Mew in particular), his motives are not tied to any past trauma. Boston is just a messy bitch who loves chaos and doesn’t really care who gets hurt as long as he gets what he wants and stays entertained. Where Brian is literally a superhero to his loved ones, Boston is just a very flawed human being. 

But Shan, I hear you saying, I thought you liked Boston! I do, besties, I do. He’s a fantastic character and a very real kind of person many of us encounter in our 20s. Because that’s the thing: Boston is so young. He hasn’t developed any sense of responsibility to others or any understanding of the importance of queer community, and he has never had to take care of himself, which is perhaps the biggest difference between him and Brian. Brian has lived independently for more than a decade when we meet him in QaF, whereas Boston is a spoiled rich kid who has barely lived. Brian is a fully realized adult and his more nuanced characterization is a reflection of that; Boston is actually a pretty basic chaotic drama queen who will grow up eventually. 

TL;DR: Aside from being promiscuous, Boston has very little in common with Brian Kinney. He is more a reflection of a very real kind of person you will meet on the scene in queer communities than an homage to a larger than life fictional QaF character. And while OF is absolutely referencing some of the themes and values and stylistic flourishes of QaF, it is not making direct parallels to its characters. 

#did i write this mostly as an excuse to get brian kinney on this blog? #who can say #only friends the series #queer as folk #thai bl #ofts #only friends #ephemerality squad #shan shouts into the void

[magicfootballstuff]

Dirty Little Secret - part 4 (leila ouahabi x reader)

Summary: A love story about secrets, flirty messages, football rivalries, and useless lesbians who don’t know how to communicate. And it all starts with one badly timed challenge in the Champions League.

Leila Ouahabi x Arsenal!reader

Part 4/?

Read other parts here.

———

When you arrive in Barcelona, it’s like the events in Turin a few days ago never happened.

Leila greets you at the airport with a beaming smile and a kiss and even offers to wheel your little suitcase from the arrivals gate to her car. 

On the drive back to Leila’s apartment, you tell her about your flight and in return she talks about the last training session before tomorrow’s cup final. She seems confident that Barcelona will win and though you want to match that energy, you’re still a little scarred from the Champions League final last week, where you were confident she would be lifting the trophy there too. A domestic cup is different to the Champions League, you suppose, and you’d hope that you’ve both learned lessons from last time, but still.

Leila’s apartment is on the second floor of a cute little complex that looks out over a park. She insists on carrying your bag again, and you’re not going to complain as she leads you up the stairs at the side of the building until you reach her floor. 

As she unlocks the door and you follow her inside, this feels way more intimate than all the times you’ve slept with her. This is Leila’s home, a glimpse into her life that you never imagined you’d see when you were just sneaking around with her at St George’s Park during the Arnold Clark Cup.

But while you’re ready to learn more about Leila from spending three days in her home, you’re not prepared for exactly what you’re going to learn about her. 

Specifically, from the boxes and open suitcases littered around her apartment.

“You’re moving?” 

Leila sets your bag down by the door and nods silently.

“Like to a new apartment or…?”

You almost don’t want to ask. Leila and Barcelona are two things that seem like they should always go together. But the glossy tears that start to shine in Leila’s eyes tell you the answer without the need to complete your question.

Suddenly her behaviour in Turin, how emotional she was and her mention of other factors coming into play, make perfect sense. Winning the Champions League for a second time would have been the perfect way to end her time at Barcelona, but that just makes the cup final tomorrow even more important.

“Come here,” you say, offering your arms out in an embrace.

Leila steps close and her body sinks into yours, arms wrapped tightly around each other.

“It’s my time to leave,” she sniffles into your shoulder. “I’m ready for a new challenge.”

“That doesn’t mean it’s an easy thing to do,” you remind her, one of your hands stroking a comforting path up and down her spine. You remember your own journey, leaving the comfort of Manchester at eighteen when you signed your first professional contract with Arsenal, moving down the country for something new, and how difficult it was to push yourself out of your comfort zone. “In fact, I think it’s very brave of you to choose to do the right thing for your own career.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah,” you nod.

You pull back, but only far enough to be able to look Leila directly in the eyes, which are shining with the threat of tears that she tries to fight off.

“I’m sorry if I was a bit of a dick in Turin,” you murmur. “I understand now why it was so hard for you when you didn’t win.”

Leila sniffs and wipes at her eyes.

“Winning it again would’ve been the perfect end to the story.”

“You’re gonna win tomorrow though, right?” you tease her.

Leila smiles through her tears, and she might be the prettiest person you’ve ever seen.

———

At first, you’re nervous about wearing Leila’s shirt to the cup final. You haven’t even told any of your friends that you’re in Barcelona, let alone that there’s something going on between you and Leila, and you can only imagine the reaction in the Arsenal group chat if a photo finds its way onto Twitter of you in the crowd at this game so obviously there as Leila’s guest.

As it turns out, there’s nothing to worry about. You don’t know if it’s the cap and sunglasses that successfully keep you under the radar, or if it’s simply that none of the Spanish crowd give enough of a shit about English women’s football to recognise you in the first place, but your worries are for nothing. Besides, you start to realise that you might not care who finds out anyway when Leila runs onto the pitch for the pre-game warm up and immediately looks for you in the crowd, sending a little wave in your direction when she spots you that fills your chest with warmth.

You could get used to this.

———

After the game, with a winner’s medal hanging around her neck, Leila practically skips over to you.

“Felicitats,” you tell her, your tongue stumbling over the unfamiliar word, but the grin that spreads across Leila’s face is more than worth the five minutes you spent practising a single word while the pitch was being set up for the trophy presentation.

“Did you enjoy the game?”

“I did,” you nod. You reach for the medal around her neck, feeling the weight of the metal between your fingers as you say, “This looks good on you.”

“This looks good on you,” Leila says, raising her eyebrows and smirking at you as she thumbs at the material of the Barcelona shirt she gifted you to wear.

“Yeah?” you ask her. “You like it?”

Leila is a little too eager to nod, and you grin back at her.

“I like it too.”

The temptation to lean over the railing and kiss Leila, especially when she’s looking at you in the way that she is, is almost too much. But if wearing Leila’s shirt in public is already a risky move, kissing her is definitely too far.

Later, for sure. When you’re alone.

Leila also has later on her mind, but for a different reason.

“We’re having a party tonight to celebrate? Do you want to come?” Leila asks.

“With all your teammates?”

It never once crossed your mind that Leila might want you to meet her teammates. Everything has been so secretive so far, you’ve barely had more than the briefest of interactions with each other in front of other people before, and you sort of assumed that apart from coming to watch her game today, you’d spend the rest of your visit to Barcelona just the two of you. But of course Leila will want to celebrate with her friends tonight, her last game with the club ending with a trophy.

“If you don’t want to we can just go back…”

“No,” you’re quick to interrupt, reaching for Leila’s hand. “I want to. I just … never mind. Thanks for inviting me. I can’t wait to celebrate with you.”

———

You feel a bit awkward as you enter the Barcelona after party with Leila. They’ve hired out a bar for the night and the place is already buzzing with players, staff and guests when you arrive. You’ve changed out of the shirt with Leila’s name on the back, but Leila makes sure there’s no doubt about who you’re here with by linking her fingers with yours as you step inside.

“Okay?” Leila asks you, perhaps sensing your nerves, and you nod in response.

Leila has dressed up too, changing out of her football kit and into a dark suit which hangs open over a lacy bodice. Her hair hangs down over her shoulders instead of being swept back in her usual ponytail and she’s wearing smoky makeup that accentuates her dark eyes.

You can hardly keep your own eyes off her. The most beautiful girl in the room, and your hand is the one she wants to hold, proudly showing you off like she wants everyone to know you’re important to her. Like you’re more than just a fuck buddy.

You’re overwhelmed by the party but thankfully Leila isn’t, collecting a glass of champagne for each of you before she leads you by the hand to where a few of her teammates are gathered.

Leila introduces you - in English, you notice, which can only be to make you feel welcome - and you smile awkwardly as you greet her teammates, feeling their eyes burning into you like they’re trying to assess your compatibility with Leila.

Mapi León is the first to react, punching Leila in the arm, before she launches into high-speed Spanish. Leila clutches at her sore arm momentarily with a look of outrage on her face, then starts talking too.

From the tone of the conversation, they seem to be bickering. And from the occasional glances at you, you suspect you might know what they’re bickering about.

You’ve never wished you knew Spanish more.

“Do you understand what they’re saying?” you ask Ingrid, who seems to be trying to follow the conversation with a frown of concentration on her face.

“She called Leila a liar, I think,” Ingrid translates for you. “Something about leaving Barcelona for a girl - from context I guess that’s you?”

“Oh, I’m not … I mean, she’s not…” you stammer. Suddenly you have Mapi and Leila’s eyes on you too as they fall silent, and your cheeks start to heat up as you try to explain, “She’s not moving for me. I only found out yesterday that she’s leaving Barcelona at all.”

“Yes, Mapi,” Leila says, speaking in English now, for your benefit. “See?”

They switch back to Spanish, leaving you in the dark once again. But even though you don’t actually understand what they’re saying, you can sense when the conversation moves on from talking about you almost straight away, and you relax.

But Ingrid’s words stick in your mind. You don’t know how good her Spanish is, whether what she translated was completely accurate, but she seemed to think that Mapi thought Leila’s decision to leave Barcelona was related to you, which gets you thinking. You and Leila aren’t serious enough for there to be a deliberate link, but if Mapi thinks the two things are connected…

You remember what Leila said after the match earlier, the look in her eyes as she admired the way you looked in her Barcelona jersey. And while it’s definitely going to be strange to see Leila in another team’s colours, you think the feeling would probably be mutual if you ever saw Leila in red and white.

It plays on your mind, and you decide to ask her when she leads you away later to get another drink from the bar.

“You’ve decided which club you’re moving to?” you ask, leaning against the bar beside Leila as you wait for a bartender to be free.

Leila’s eyebrows twitch upwards momentarily, probably surprised by your question, before she answers, “Yes.”

“It’s not…” you trail off, almost feeling stupid for asking, because you’re sure that you would’ve heard something if it was the case, either from Leila herself or at least whispers from somewhere else. “It’s not Arsenal, is it?”

Leila smirks, then says, “No.”

“Right, of course,” you say. “I didn’t think so, but it’s just the way Mapi was talking about me and your move, made it sound like the two things were related.”

“No. Mapi likes to - I don’t know how to say it in English - she talks a lot of shit?”

You nod to show that Leila’s used the right words.

“You’ll find out soon where I’m moving,” she tells you.

“Very mysterious,” you tease her.

You spend a brief second wondering why she’s being so secretive about which team she’s moving to. You doubt you’re going to get much more out of Leila about her future team anyway, but you’re soon denied that chance anyway when the whole bar erupts into song. The ringleaders, Patri Guijarro and Claudia Pina, have clambered up onto a table and use half empty beer bottles as microphones as they lead the singing with a lot more enthusiasm than musicality.

You recognise the song, from both the game today and the time you spent amongst the Barcelona fans at last week’s Champions League final, as one of the Barcelona chants. Though you don’t know the words, the energy in the room is infectious, and as Leila slings an arm around your shoulder and joins in, you grin and hum along to the recognisable tune.

———

This is probably the longest you’ve spent in Leila’s company, certainly the longest you’ve spent together without sleeping with her, and while you hope that there will be plenty of time for that during the remainder of your brief stay in Barcelona, it’s nice to get to know her through her body language and interactions with her teammates, finally getting the chance to see Leila at her most natural.

It doesn’t take you long to realise that Leila is an affectionate person.

She’s constantly touching you, whether it’s your legs or shoulders nudging against each other, or her hand seeking out yours. You don’t mind that you don’t understand the Spanish conversations, because she makes you feel included with looks and little touches.

Leila is also a funny person. You’ve always found her to be charismatic, but most of your interactions have been laced with flirtatious jokes anyway. When you see her with her friends, you realise that Leila likes to make other people laugh, even if that comes at the cost of having to be a little bit goofy. It’s endearing, and your cheeks quickly start to ache with how much you’ve been grinning.

But you also start to wonder if things would be the same if the situation was reversed and you’d invited Leila to England. Would you have introduced Leila to your teammates? What would she have learned about you from seeing you with your closest friends? And most importantly of all, would still she like what she sees?

“Do you want to leave?” Leila leans across and murmurs to you, while the conversation in Spanish continues around you, pulling you out of your thoughts.

“Don’t you want to celebrate with your teammates?” you ask, conscious of the fact that today was her last game in a Barcelona shirt, tonight her last official night with these girls as her teammates.

“I want to celebrate with you,” Leila tells you, her mouth curling up into a smirk as her fingers squeeze your thigh.

It’s very hard to be thoughtful towards Leila’s limited time with the other Barcelona girls when her dark eyes are making mischievous promises.

“What did you have in mind?” you ask, your voice breathless.

“Come home and I’ll show you.”

———

In hindsight, three days in Barcelona was never going to be enough.

Predictably, you spend most of the second day, the day after Barcelona wins the Copa de la Reina, in Leila’s bed. It’s only later in the day that you finally get up and put some clothes on, because Leila promises that she knows the best seafood restaurant in Europe. She’s not wrong, and after a short drive down the coast, you enjoy a delicious meal looking out over the sea as the sun sets.

If this was a date, it would be a very romantic setting. But you and Leila are still straddling the line between football rivals who hook up and something more.

The third and final day you spend being tourists around Barcelona. It surprises you when Leila tells you she’s never really visited many of the big tourist sites herself, despite living in Barcelona for so long, but it means you get to explore them together. But she also shows you some of the places that she loves - a cute little coffee shop, Camp Nou stadium, her favourite sushi restaurant. You get to know the city through her and her through the city.

Three days isn’t long enough, not to fully explore this beautiful city, nor to properly get to know the girl who is showing you around, but you’ll take it. 

Three days with Leila are better than none. 

———

“Manchester City,” Leila tells you in bed that night, speaking into the darkness as you play with her hair, her head resting on your chest, savouring every moment you can get together before you have to fly back to England in the morning.

“Huh?”

“I’m about to sign for Manchester City,” Leila explains.

Your hand stills in Leila’s hair, processing her words in slight disbelief. 

“You’re shitting me.”

“What?”

Trying not to disturb Leila on your chest, you reach across to where your phone lies face down on the nightstand, unlocking it and scrolling through the gallery of photos until you come across one in particular. It’s old and a little blurry, but just clear enough to make out that it’s a picture of a little girl, aged about ten, with a full fringe and her long hair tied into pigtails, dressed in a full Manchester City kit.

“Is that you?” Leila asks, lifting her head to examine the photo as you angle the screen of your phone to show her.

“Been a City fan my whole life,” you tell her. “I came up through the academy too. It doesn’t mean I’m going to let you win though. I’m an Arsenal girl now.”

“I don’t want you to let me win,” Leila says, propping herself upright and swinging a leg across your hips. You let your hands slide up Leila’s thighs and toy with the hem of the oversized t-shirt she’s wearing to bed as she adds, “I want a challenge.”

You anchor your hands on Leila’s hips and flip her over onto the mattress, settling between her legs as your mouth finds the column of her neck and presses a line of open-mouthed kisses from the apex of her shoulder up to the sensitive spot below her ear.

“You sure about that?” you murmur.

As Leila’s hand finds the top of your head and tries to guide you down her body, it doesn’t feel like much of a challenge at all.

———

You’re in the England pre-selection camp the following week, still mournful of the fact that you only got three days in Barcelona with Leila, when the news is officially announced. 

“Chloe, have you seen we’ve got another new signing?” Lauren asks, as she wanders across the gym to where you and Chloe are doing some conditioning before training.

“At City?” Chloe asks. “Who is it?”

You’re only giving them half of your attention as they talk about their latest club news, more focused on adjusting the weights at each end of the barbell, until you hear who it is they’re talking about.

“Spanish player,” Lauren says to Chloe. “Leila something - I don’t know how to pronounce her last name.”

“Leila Ouahabi?” you supply for Lauren, the weights now forgotten. 

“That’s the one,” Lauren confirms with a nod. “Look.”

Lauren offers out her phone, where the latest post on Manchester City’s Instagram page is displayed announcing the arrival of Leila as a new signing, complete with a picture of Leila in the sky blue kit of her new club.

“Do you know her?” Chloe asks.

“We’ve played against each other a few times,” you answer vaguely, reaching for your own phone to look up the announcement yourself.

You don’t tell them about the nature of your relationship during the Arnold Clark Cup, or that you spent three nights in her bed only last week, or that you get butterflies in your chest every time you think about her.

“Is she good?”

Distracted by the picture of Leila in a Manchester City shirt, which looks weird, though in a good way, after she’s spent so many years at Barcelona, you respond absently, “Good at what?”

Lauren sniggers.

“Good at football?”

“Oh, right. Of course, why would I know if she’s good at anything else?” You laugh awkwardly, before you finally answer, “Yeah, she’s pretty good.”

You tune out the rest of their conversation, starting your set of reps with the weights as your mind thinks of the image of Leila in sky blue.

———

Later, when you’re taking some down time in your room between training and dinner, you look through the various pictures of Leila that have been posted today, both by the Manchester City account and by Leila herself. It’s going to take some time to get used to not just the sight of Leila in a City kit, but also the idea that she’s going to be living in the same country and playing in the same league as you.

You stare at the pictures for way too long. You struggled to cope when Leila sent you a picture of herself wearing your England shirt but this, seeing her in the jersey of the team you’ve supported since your parents dressed you in a Manchester City onesie when you were just five days old, is provoking another reaction from you entirely.

If only you weren’t so loyal to Arsenal these days…

Still, you message Leila to let her know what you think of her move.

You You look good in blue 😍 And if you need someone to show you around Manchester…

There’s a knock on your door and you get up from your bed to answer it, finding Leah standing outside in the hall.

“Ready to go down for dinner?” she asks.

“Just a sec,” you reply, slipping your feet into a pair of trainers. You reach for your phone which lies face up on the bed and the screen lights up with a new message from Leila as you pick it up.

Leila It’s a date 😉

You fight off a smile as you slide your phone into the pocket of your shorts and practically skip over to where Leah waits in the doorway.

“You’re in a good mood,” Leah observes, as you start to make your way down to dinner.

You’re half caught in a daydream, imagining a time where you get to walk around Manchester hand in hand with Leila, showing her all your favourite places in her new home city, but you push that to the back of your mind for later to save having to explain yourself to Leah.

“Just nice to be back with the team, isn’t it?” you try to explain away your cheerfulness.

Leah rolls her eyes and says, “Weirdo.”

#woso x reader #woso imagine #leila ouahabi x reader #leila ouahabi imagine #dirty little secret

[just-s0me-stranger]

Statement

I wish to make a statement regarding what happened on the 14th of April, 2023

I, at first, wanted to move on from what happened and start again

But, seeing as some people aren't willing to let go of what happened, I feel I have no choice but to give my side of the story

I'll admit, I haven't been perfect in all this

I made mistakes

Many I wish I could take back, and would do if it was possible

But, whether I'm forgiven or not isn't up to me

That being said, however, the person who started all this in the first place isn't innocent either

I wish to address the accusations against me regarding, defending a transphobic person, racism, me fetishising trans men in my Perfectly Imperfect roadrat fanfic, and my conduct with minors, in that order

First, the accusations of me defending transphobic person

These accusations were first brought against me on the 14th of April, 2023, when user @sodapoptisms dug up a tweet from someone who said the following

Link

They then followed up with a quote tweet saying the following

Link

Now, I knew the person being screenshotted

I don't defend how they said what they said

Out of context, it's very poorly worded

What I DO defend is the fact that I took issue with Soda wanting the roadrat fandom to "band together and force the bigot out"

In other words, Soda wanted to rally a mob against this person for their political beliefs

I took issue for several reasons

The first one being like I said, I knew this person at the time

I knew they weren't anti trans rights

But forcing someone out for not agreeing with every aspect of the trans community can cause someone to become anti trans out of spite

Which brings me to my next point

I knew not speaking out against Soda could have a detrimental effect on the support for trans rights on the grassroots level

How?

Because this person had said they'd had many bad experiences with members of the trans community

Many people have sadly come out against the trans community for those reasons as well

Including many gays, lesbians, bisexuals, and even some transgender people

Clearly, bullying people for not holding your exact political views isn't working

And may actually be making things worse

That isn't to say that you win rights by coddling people's feelings

But you don't win people over by bullying and demonising them either

There is a balance that needs to be met, which isn't at the moment

You can't just demand people be your ally, then treat them like shit when they refuse, or don't live up to your standards

The second accusation I want to address is the one of racism

I was accused of this after writing an open letter to Soda shortly after what happened on the 14th of April, which no longer exists

But in it, I used the term Flying Monkeys to refer to the mob Soda had rallied against myselfand the other person

The term, Flying Monkeys, is commonly used as a nickname in pop psychology for the friends of narcissists

However, because Soda has many friends who are black, they twisted the words to accuse me of referring to them in a racially derogatory way

This was despite me pointing out the fact that I did not know Soda's friends were black, as even if they have that in their bios, I don't tend to read bios in detail, if at all. So, I was unaware unless I saw a photo of them

Thirdly, the fetishising of trans men in fanfiction

I never thought I'd have to bring this up

After all, no artist or writer should has to explain or justify why they made the choices they did in their works, but here we go.

Long story short, I tend to write stories with mpreg in it

You can think ill of me for it if you like, I don't care

But, I do not write these sorts of fanfiction for fetish fuel

I wrote Perfectly Imperfect for several reasons

The major one being that I have a lot of unresolved Daddy Issues

I won't get too much into my personal history, other than my father wasn't much in the picture when I was growing up

The few times he was in the picture, he was abusive

Not just to me, but to my mother, my sisters, & his previous two families, which he had left prior

I was estranged from him for eight years until I learned he had cancer, & I decided to reconnect with him two years before he died

I began writing Perfectly Imperfect a year prior to my father's death

Why use Mpreg to deal with Daddy Issues, you may ask?

The answer is twofold

I want to have my own family one day, & I tend to project that desire onto my favourite characters

I'm also fascinated with the father/child bond I guess

Particularly those that, while they may not be perfect, they at least are there for their child/ren, and don't abuse them

As for the fact that I've written Junkrat giving birth

That tends to be how a pregnancy concludes

But, I always focused on Junkrat himself, & what he's going through while giving birth

Such as his the pain he's in and how scared he is

How he looks to Roadhog for comfort

And how Roadhog helps him through it

It's about the emotion & vulnerability of the scene, in other words

Birth is messy, & can be gross, I can understand why many are squicked out by it

But it's a fact of life, much like death

Fourth, I'd like to discuss my supposedly inappropriate conduct with minors online

As many of you will know, I used to run Roadrat server. This server was an 18+ server, as I didn't feel I could, nor did I want the extra responsibility of, keeping minors safe within it

However, I would ask around to see if many people wanted to join, provided they were of age

As at the time, there was a content drought, & I wanted to keep the fandom as active as possible through it

Which I felt I could do through Discord

Unfortunately, not everyone has their age in their bios, which is fine

I understand not everyone feels safe showing people their age

But, it does sometimes mean I'm unsure, & have to ask about the person's age

This person there were a minor & then asked if they knew of any other Roadrat servers

I didn't really know of any that were as active as mine was a the time, so I made them an offer

They tell me when they come of age, & I'd let them into my server on the day

As you can see, nothing inappropriate took place, & the conversation pretty much ended after that

So, that is the context of everything that happened

Lastly, I want to address @sodapoptisms aka @sodapopblast directly

I'm sorry

I'm sorry I ever had the misfortune of knowing you and your friends

I'm sorry I ever thought of you as someone worth my time

I'm sorry I never saw how much you use your gender identity as a sheild to bully and harass people who step out of line

I'm sorry I never saw how much of a manipulative and cowardly bully you are

And I pity your friends who don't see you for the worm you truly are

It's because of you that I've had to endure being mischaracterised and demonised by your false & deliberately misleading accusations

For months

I've endured multiple accounts of abuse, and many death threats because of you

I lost my standing in the Overwatch community

All of this took a major toll on my mental health & general well-being

It not only affected my ability to perform my job as a care worker, which I was so scared I'd lose because of you

But also my self-confidence & and self-esteem, which I had painstakingly built up by writing my Roadrat series over five years

Only for you to tear it down in the span of one day

I used to hold such ill-will towards you for a long time

But that's only stooping to your level

You deserve to get better as much as I do

But the sad thing is, you probably won't

You're way too comfortable where you are right now, surrounded by your fandoms & your Yes Men

I doubt you'll find true happiness while you're where you're at

And that's enough for me

#junkrat #roadrat #overwatch fandom

[batsarebetterthanpeople]

It’s funny how the fandom went from being like “ the show is representation for gay men and non-binary people. This is not about you women stop trying to put yourself in here” to “yay lesbians” .

The gay men that made the fandom popular enough for us to get a season two are not gonna watch season two because of it. There’s a reason why lots of older, gay man who survived the aids crisis talk about how women were the worst thing to ever happen to the community and that women need to just STFU. 

You're a fucking idiot. If you were a gay man instead of someone just trying to create division in our community you would know that the dykes were there for us when no one else was. When we were dying of AIDS lesbians were our nurses, they organized our funerals, they joined our protests. They took care of us when we were dying because our liberation is linked to theirs. Lesbians are our sisters, we're fucking family. They cheer the loudest when we win and they pick us up when we lose.

Second of all when people were saying "this show is rep for gay men and non-binary people" we weren't saying "it's not about you women (derogatory)" we were saying that Our Flag Means Death is allowed to be a story about queen men and is not responsible for representing the entire LGBTQIA+ community. Just like there are allowed to be stories about just queer women.

This is still Ed and Stede's story. It's still going to center queer men. When it's not about Ed and Stede it's about Jim and Oluwande, and when it's not about them it's about the otherwise all male crew of the revenge. Just because we get a couple of Mary or Calico Jack tier lesbian side characters does not mean that that's going to change. I don't know a single fag without a dyke friend so I'm sure that Ed and Stede's story would be incomplete without them. Any story about my life would be incomplete without lesbians despite the fact that I am a man who only dates men.

Finally, remember when I said that lesbians cheer the loudest when we win? Yeah, they've been doing that about this show. They are also responsible for making this show popular

Anyway sexist queer men don't give a fuck about their own liberation. Misogyny and homophobia are in bed together.

#ofmd #cw misogyny

[sneezemonster15]

A lot of adults women behave like incels but less violent and more manipulative. They usually love the cringe romance movies where the main girl is average looking and not like the other girls and manage to make the badboy soft. Generally they hate hot girls bc they are jealous (see the way Skr stans talk abt Ino and feel victorious bc they "won" against her, the hot girl). Those women are full of insecurities, thats why Skr is so relatable.

The way Skr tries to not think about the fact Sske dont wanna spend time with her is the same way some irl women ignore that their husbands are cheating, and if they cant ignore it they will attack the other women but they will NEVER leave the guy. All their self worth is based on having a bf/husband.

Then there are some lesbian/bi women who stan her as an act of feminism. She is a female character who got what she wanted so its a win apparently. Fortunatly those ppl are minority bc as a queer woman and feminist, it is very embarrassing to read those takes. I'm all for uplifting women and for them to get everything they desire but not at the expense of non sexist men. Plus, Skr dont even look so happy at the end of the day. So is it really a win for her and women?

Yeah that makes sense. But it's sad isn't it? Because even trying to have a dialogue with them isn't helpful. There's no point having it if they aren't ready to be receptive to it.

Sakura really sees no contradiction between what she says and what she does.

And yet...

Lol. Till only two days ago, she was found styling her hair in the middle of chuunin exams, all skinned knees and having suffered minor injuries, while her team mates were working. She let her hair grow in the first place because she thought Sasuke liked it. Lol.

What impression can it possibly give to the reader? Kishi had to stress on it too, with another character this time.

Why would Kishi stress so much on Sakura and her obsession with her hair, just to make her say something totally hypocritical five chapters down? Lol. Kishi is very clever about writing his characters act according to the character traits given to them. Like for example, the panel below, Kakashi acts according to his character (where he has a blindspot for Sakura's negative shades) thinks Sakura is not the type to brag when she is actually exactly the type to brag.

Lol, Sakura's whole personality is about being obsessive for Sasuke which in turn makes her violently jealous of Naruto and Ino. She beats Naruto up regularly for no apparent reason and harasses Ino, even though that girl did nothing but try to help her. And she brags, it's the only thing she does properly. Lol.

And yet, she is always bragging, showing off. From start to end.

And I am positive I am missing some panels here lol. She is always looking for external validation. She revels in it. While external validation itself is not a bad thing, since humans need some amount of external validation to measure their abilities, and Naruto does it too, but for him, it's rooted in his quest for acknowledgement and acceptance, so he could make friends and not be ostracized from community. Sakura does it because of her ego. While Naruto has his principles rooted in his belief systems, his emotions and his dream that egg him on to do better, Sakura finds her motivation in the desire to show off and impress people, mostly Sasuke.

She disrespects Ino, Tsunade, and she fights Kaguya while she says this?

Girl, why are you so embarrassing? If you wanna attack her, just do it. Why even mention her being a woman? She wasn't mocking you, she barely even noticed you. You aren't worthy enough for her to notice.

Lol. And things she says about being a woman are just so cringe lol.

No one underestimates her because she is a girl, in fact Kakashi coddles her because she is a girl. She is underestimated because despite training, she is just weak and unskilled, as compared to her cohorts. And if she is skillful, we don't see it in the same proportion measured against the way she talks about herself. Tsunade never had to sing about her being a woman and yet people are bloody scared of her strength. Temari never had to mention it, neither did Kushina. Chiyo certainly briefly talks about how women always get the short end of the stick in their male driven society, but she not only belongs to a much older generation that has seen a hell lot, she is a master puppeteer and a superior warrior in her own right, she has earned it.

It would have been fine if only Sakura had actually consistently kept her word, proven herself through actions and not just empty words. Because when she doesn't, it reduces the value of those words. I don't know if she really meant it when she said women were fickle. Who? Tsunade? Kushina? Chiyo? Temari? Nope, they didn't give any such impression.

She constantly condescends to Naruto despite him having proved himself to be skillful, strong, the one who wins team seven several battles while she stands in a corner shaking and sweating. Thing is, she realises she makes mistakes. She acknowledges Naruto's strength as well, but she doesn't do anything to change. The whole point of a realization is to work on it and correct your behaviour. She is condescending towards Naruto till the end. Konohamaru takes her down a peg when she is being disparaging towards him and Naruto when they are doing the oiroke jutsu contest. She even hits Konohamaru, and he gets pissed off. So he makes a reverse oiroke jutsu just to show her true face, and that face has a streak of blood trickling down her nose lol. But when Naruto uses it against Kaguya, she again condescends to him. Narusakus are kinda embarrassing tbh, Sakura doesn't get Naruto. She thinks she does but she doesn't. She thinks she gets Sasuke but she obviously doesn't. And yet, she makes her 'strategies' in kage arc around her knowledge of Naruto and fake confesses to him. Naruto rejects her. Lol. She goes to Sasuke and tries to kill him (with a kunai...) by tricking him, only to be attacked, twice. Even when she drugs her cohorts before going to Sasuke, they clock her real plan. Lol.

She overestimates herself, even though it's clear that if she only thought things through, she would be much more successful. She is really blind to her own shortcomings even though she tries but remains unsuccessful, which is even sadder.

She does know Sasuke doesn't wanna spend time with her, she also gets a sense that she will always be much lesser than Naruto in Sasuke's eyes, she knows but she doesn't care. Even if it means long term misery for everyone involved.

Yes, I am sure some women find her character relatable. But relatable doesn't mean everything. I relate to Sasuke and I am very wary of establishing emotional connections but I know it's not something ideal or healthy. Connection is what people thrive on. If I ever started to relate with Sakura, I would really be compelled to take a hard look at myself. Lol.

#ask #haruno sakura #anti sakura #anti ss

[coffee-without-anesthetics]

pray tell dear friend, what is this eve you post of and is it something I can watch?

OH FRIEND OH FRIEND I HAVE MANY A THING TO TELL

So Eve (stylized as E ve) is essentially an utaite [-] turned musician who went from only covering songs, to doing covers and originals, to basically being a full-time originals now and i have so many feelings about his music that im gonna explode basically

[utaite (source) : a subculture of vocalists who perform song covers of anime, video game, and Vocaloid (or other singing voice synthesizer) songs on the internet.] [utaite as a community is an entirely different thing i was into. not gonna dig into that now.]

as for watching/listening to his stuff there's always his official youtube channel, his spotify, and i dont use any other platforms for music so idk about those

SO THE EXPLOSION PART is just the fact that it's one of the first singers whose career i started actively following, he was my lifeblood for a while (as was mafumafu)(whom you may recognize from those songs i recommended in july).

i am absolutely obligated to go into Song Recommendation Mode and tell you all my favorites from him so here we go:

Night is faint (youtube) (spotify) (absolute fucking Banger whose premiere i was present for)

Yoku (youtube) (spotify) (good lawrd this one)

As you like it (youtube) (spotify)

Leo (youtube) (spotify) (one of my favorites ever probably) (calms me down Always and Everywhere)

How To Eat Life (youtube) (spotify)

Fight Song (youtube) (spotify)

Kororon (youtube) (spotify) (a win for the lesbians everywhere)

Nonsense philosophy (youtube) (spotify) (spotify again but this time from the collab album with Sou - who is another utaite dw about it)

Raison D’être (youtube) (spotify)

Dramaturgy (which is arguably the song that made him blow up) (youtube) (spotify)

and more!!! poke around and discover!!!!!!

AS FOR COVERS i have:

Just Life (youtube)

Airhead (youtube)

Rain and Petra (youtube)

Sand Planet (youtube)

You and Me (youtube)(you might recognize this one if you've poked around in the animation/amvs community)

and as always, i am open to questions and inquiries and whataver else

#get Blasted by information!!! i am full of love like soup!!!!!! #eilik got asked #madnessmadness

[historyhermann]

Reviewing Queer Animated Characters With Trauma

Amity fights Hunter in a season 2 episode of The Owl House

Recently, there has been a growing number of queer fictional animated characters with trauma. I decided to examine this trend and offer my thoughts.

Reprinted from The Geekiary, my History Hermann WordPress blog (it will be published there on Dec. 24) and Wayback Machine. This was the forty-first article I wrote for The Geekiary. This post was originally published on June 13, 2022.

Trauma is a common theme in fiction. This makes sense especially for conflict-prone series, either in live-action or animation. Recent years have made this even more pronounced as animation holds an "exceptional potential" to portray trauma, an emotional response to a distressing experience of some kind, unlike other mediums.

I'll examine over 20 characters, who are either confirmed as part of the LGBTQ community or implied as such. The characters described in this article are only a small sample of a larger list of characters. I've only chosen characters in Western animated shows that I have watched to date, as a similar post on anime characters would be as long as this one.

This post contains spoilers for the series that I'm writing about. With that, let me get started!

The Owl House

Luz and Amity dance together as their magic causes the grom monster to explode behind them

This fantasy and horror comedy animated series has trauma at its core. It emphasizes the importance of chosen family and discovering who you are as a person.

The show's protagonist, Luz Noceda (Sarah Nicole-Robles) ends up into a magical world called the Boiling Isles. It is far away from her home and she soon has no way of returning. While she makes friends along the way, what happens to her is, at times, traumatic. In fact, one reviewer even stated that nearly every resident of the Owl House, including Eda Clawthorne (Wendie Malick), King (Alex Hirsch), and Luz, have post-traumatic stress disorder, commonly known as PTSD.

By the second season of the series, Luz has begun a romantic relationship with Amity Blight (Mae Whitman). Luz is confirmed as bisexual by the show's creator, Dana Terrace, while Amity is a lesbian. Her voice actor is pansexual. Additionally, Eda is queer as she was in a relationship with Raine Whispers, a non-binary head witch of the Bard Covern. The voice actor of Raine, Avi Roque, is non-binary as well.

There's also Eda's sister, Lilith, who was recently implied as being asexual by her voice actor, Cissy Jones, the dads of Willow Park (Tati Gabrielle), Gilbert and Harvey, and the mysterious god-like creature named The Collector. The show's creator may have implied the character is non-binary in a recent tweet. Lilith was later confirmed as an aromantic asexual character.

All these characters, and every other character in the series, have trauma on some level. Even the series villain, Emperor Belos (Matthew Rhys), has a mind filled with decades of "triumph, trauma, and loss."

Amphibia

Anne (left) and Sasha (right) fight in the season two finale

This recently-concluded series may seem harmless at first, but there is more below the surface. The three protagonists, Anne Boonchuy (Brenda Song), Marcy Wu (Haley Tju), and Sasha Waybright (Anna Akana) open a magic box. They end up in a wild tropical land known as Amphibia. Their friendship faces strains and hardships, including betrayals, pain, and death.

One of these characters is prominently part of the LGBTQ community: Sasha. Voiced by Akana, a talented voice actress, the show’s creator, Matt Braly confirmed her as bisexual after the show’s finale. This built upon a bisexual sticker on her car's mirror in a final sequence. As it turns out, during an acceptance speech for the Streamy Awards she came out as bisexual, even though she was drunk when she made the speech since she didn’t expect to win the award.

Her character begins the series as a jerk, bully, and almost a villain of sorts. Sasha even fights the show’s protagonist, Anne, her high school friend, and butts heads with Marcy. She later works to make amends and fights King Andrias who has evil plans to take over the world.

Sasha joins other recurring LGBTQ characters, mostly in the show's last season. This includes Frodrick Toadstool and Toadie who have a gay romance, confirmed by the show's creator. Also, Yunan and Lady Olivia become a romantic lesbian couple, while Ally and Jess who run an Internet video channel together. It's also implied that Mr. X, voiced by RuPaul, is gay.

All these characters have some level of trauma in one way or another. At the same time, the series serves as a "form of solace" and can ameliorate trauma often associated with media like The Owl House.

Disenchantment

Bean fights with Gretel, a cannibalistic serial killer, in the season one episode "Faster, Princess! Kill! Kill!"

Although her father, Zog, works through his trauma in the most recent part of this mature animated series, Bean suffers from trauma as well. This is because events which involve a "serious threat to life...and feel beyond a person’s control" fill her life. Examples include loss of a parent, physical violence, sexual assault, military combat, or death of a loved one.

Through her role as princess, and then queen, these events include her father's live burial, an elevator chopping off the head of her friend, and kidnapping of her friend Elfo. She isn't alone with trauma, as her friends also have it as well, as do many other characters within this series. It shows that series is not afraid to tackle mental health as a theme.

In the most recent episodes of this series, she kisses a mermaid named Mora (Meredith Hagner). This romance and others with male characters, including Elfo, indicated she is bisexual or pansexual. She was directly confirmed as bisexual by an official Netflix account. Furthermore, Bean's voice actress, Abbi Jacobson, is also bisexual.

There are other LGBTQ characters in this series, like Odval and Sorcerio. They are a gay couple who live in the Dreamland castle. It is further implied that Big Jo and Porky may have been in a toxic relationship with one another.

All of them experience physical violence, loss, and serious threats to their lives in more ways than one.

High Guardian Spice

Olive and Rose fight in the 9th episode of this series

This series has major themes such as acceptance, togetherness, and discovering one's identity. Rosemary (Briana Leon), has a recurring nightmare where her mother disappeared and left a magical sword behind. Unsurprisingly, she gets nervous when her locket, which has an important family memory, gets lost.

Rosemary isn't alone. Sage (Lauren White) gets nervous when everything doesn't go according to plan. She ends up questioning if she should be at the magic academy and what "right things" she should say to people. The latter is emblematic of her social awkwardness.

Both are implied as being in love with each other, in what some shippers call Sagemary. Since Rosemary shows an attraction to a male student in one episode, she could be bisexual. One of the show's writers and voice actor of Amaryllis, Katie McVay, seemed to imply some the show's characters are bisexual. Parsley (Amber Romero) and Thyme (Michelle Deco) might be lesbian characters. The latter has a crush on a mermaid named Coral in one episode.

Anise and Aloe are a lesbian couple. Haviland Stillwell, a lesbian actress, voices Anise. Then there's Professor Caraway who reveals to Rosemary he is a trans man. The show's creator, Raye Rodriguez, who is a Cuban trans man, voices him. Finally, the snarky student Snapdragon appears to be on the road to transitioning toward a trans woman. Julia Kaye, a comics writer and trans woman, voices her.

Traumatic events shape all these characters and many others. This includes queer-coded characters like the catgirl Olive (Stephanie Sheh), Slime Boy (Julian Koster), and professor Wyverna Dretch (Stillwell).

Legend of Korra

Korra at a low place at beginning of the show's fourth season

Trauma fills this classic, but divisive, anime-inspired series. Trauma affects two of the protagonists, Korra and Asami Sato.

Throughout the series, Korra becomes poisoned, physically traumatized, and emotionally scarred. This manifests itself in her losing her bending abilities and having her friends captured or maimed. Through it all she has to continue fighting as the Avatar, with a duty to keep the peace. One reviewer said that her PTSD storyline is sad, but also "so good", as she survives through her drama which continues to inspire.

This contrasts with Asami. She loses almost everything in the series, from her imprisoned backstabbing father and almost losing her family company. One person argued that Asami's trauma inspires her to "save others from feeling how she felt." This includes Korra, who confides in Asami as she works through her trauma.

In the show's final episode, and subsequently confirmed by show's creators, Korra and Asami become a romantic couple. This was further shown in the graphic novel The Legend of Korra: Turf Wars. The same novel confirmed that Kya, daughter of Katara, is a lesbian. The novel also explores Kyoshi's bisexual romantic feelings.

During the series, Korra and Asami date Mako, a male character, and are good friends with one another. With Korrisami confirmed, both are canonically bisexual.

Final Space

Ash, imbued with the power of Invictus, prepares to strike Little Cato in the show's final episode

One of the protagonists of this cancelled mature animated series manifests trauma more than any other character. Ash Graven (Ashly Burch) is a complex character with a troubled past. Like other protagonists, the destruction of the Earth by the Lord Commander, and near-death experiences, traumatizes her.

Invictus, the show's primary villain, exploits her trauma triggers to great effect. Similar to how triggers for people with PTSD manifest themselves, she lashes out, blames others unfairly, retreats, and her emotions flair.

Before this happens, she bonds with a genderless lifeform trapped in Final Space, named Evra (Jasmin Savoy Brown). Their growing relationship makes clear Ash's romantic orientation as a lesbian. Since the show was not renewed, her relationship with Evra did not progress beyond one episode sequence.

Trauma and tragedy scar the memories and lives of every character in this series. This includes a recurring character named Clarence, confirmed by show creator Olan Rogers as bisexual, and Tribore Menendez, who may be genderfluid.

Just as literature can be a "valid resource" to learn about complex issues like trauma and mental health, with books even playing a role in recovering from mental illness, animated series can tackle the same topics. Final Space is one of those series.

Kipo and the Age of Wonderbeasts

Fight between Jamack (left) and Wolf (right) in the first episode of this series

This young adult animated series is set in a post-apocalyptic wasteland known as Las Vistas, set in what is now Los Angeles. Animals have morphed into anthropomorphic characters and humans fled underground to burrows. The show's protagonist, Kipo (Karen Fukuhara) is the series' narrative center and a foil for the "world’s trauma and alienation."

Kipo was never confirmed as part of the LGBTQ community. She is traumatized as much as any other character and with her troubled past. Some have headcanoned her as queer, but that is pure speculation.

The show's creator, Radford "Rad" Sechrist said he never thought of Kipo as LGBTQ. She was recently confirmed as a Blasian character. It wasn't directly stated in the series due to a worry by Sehcrist of "whitewashing and lightening black characters". This led to a bit of a hullabaloo online after his clunky response.

She is not the only character who afflicted by trauma. For instance, there's Benson Mekler (Coy Stewart) and Troy Sandoval (Giullian Yao Gioiello). Both later begin a romantic relationship. Sechrist hinted Troy as pansexual at one point. There's additionally Asher Berdacs who is non-binary and voiced by River Butcher, a non-binary actor. Each of them has their own childhood traumas, as does Kipo's friend, Wolf (Sydney Mikayla) and many other characters.

Even a mandrill named Scarlemagne (Dan Stevens), who wants to subjugate humanity, has deep-seated trauma. Any of his cruel acts are not justified by this, but they serve as a reason for what he did. While some object with his redemption of sorts, another villain is his abuser: Dr. Emilia (Amy Landecker), a manipulative and power-hungry scientist. Others have stated that her role as an abuser emphasizes the "potency of early trauma."

Tangled

Cass, using her moonstone powers, stands in front of her throne and speaks to Raps

Rapunzel's Tangled Adventure, called Tangled: The Series in the show's first season, focuses on trauma. The 2010 animated film Tangled, which preceded the series, also explores trauma, toxic parentage, and emotional abuse. Others even employed the terrible tower where Rapunzel "Raps" lives, by force, as a metaphor for stages of abuse.

The series introduces Cassandra "Cass" (by Eden Espinosa), a complex character with trauma and PTSD. She sings about it, declaring she has nothing left to lose as she goes down a "path paved in black." As acknowledged by storyboarder Amber Vanich, lesbian vibes were imbued in her drawings of Cass.

She has a troubled past like Raps. She has the same "mother", causing the show to declare they were "sisters". This couldn't be further from the truth. Gothel, the birth mother of Cass, was Raps' kidnapper, leading to irreparable trauma.

The evil Zhan Tri manipulates her, exploiting her trauma and plays on her triggers. As a result, she lashes out, blames Raps, and her emotions flair, especially when using moonstone powers to fight Raps, with sundrop powers. Often, Cass processes her thoughts and feelings about Raps, sometimes feeling that Raps is holding her back.

In the series finale, she helps Raps to defeat Zhan Tri and both reconcile. While Raps marries Eugene, her boyfriend since the series' beginning, Cass and Raps declare their love for one other. This is presumably platonic as Disney wouldn't allow it otherwise.

There is potential for a series spinoff of Cass, who departs on a journey at the series end, possibly to come to terms with her trauma and atone for her past misdeeds. Some fans have theorized a romantic ending for both characters, shipped as "Cassunzel," say Raps is pansexual or bisexual, or otherwise embrace this ship.

She-Ra and the Princesses of Power

Adora and Catra clashing with one another in the season five opening

Trauma interlaces this now iconic series, a reboot of the 1980s Filmation animated series She-Ra: Princess of Power.

The series centers on Adora and Catra, voiced by Aimee Carrero and AJ Michalka. They begin as friends but continue to have complicated feelings as they are on different sides of the conflict. At the series' end, their romantic relationship begins. They kiss and it saves the world from destruction, canonizing what fans dub "Catradora."

Adora has a specific type of trauma. One reviewer described it as eco-trauma, saying that Adora suffers from treating ecological harm as a form of trauma, something which someone tries to repress to avoid its "painful effects." This repression for Adora is external, as the First Ones impose it on her and attempt to turn the entire planet into a Death Star-like weapon.

Even so, it is through this planet she can access the memories of her predecessor. Light Hope (Morla Gorrondona), Adora's AI guide of sorts, imposed a memory wipe to forget the previous She-Ra, Mara (Zehra Fazal). In the end, Adora doesn't sacrifice her life, but Catra saves her, with both confessing their love for one another.

Trauma continues to follow Adora throughout the series, as she feels unworthy of doing "anything good." In contrast, Catra appears self-assured on the surface, but she becomes plagued by her own doubt and guilt. This causes her to become controlling and aggressive, almost destroying the entire world at one point. More to the point, she spends a majority of the show as a broken and battered woman "defined by her trauma." She makes decisions dictated by her experience with loss rather than from a place of love.

Adventure Time

Marcy in monster form, and Bonnie, fighting together in the episode "Varmints"

Marceline "Marcy" Abadeer is a fan-favorite vampire queen in this animated series. Marcy is more than a wacky character voiced by Olivia Olson. Instead she is a bisexual badass. Her character informed how then-storyboarder Rebecca Sugar told LGBTQ storylines in the future.

Marcy has a long and painful life, with her past trauma defining her. In fact, she becomes a vampire, or more exactly a half-demon, half-vampire multiracial woman in a traumatic way, becoming a source of her misery. She becomes stunted as an 18-year-old and never grows beyond that. Even so, she goes through an emotional journey of sorts, feeling like a monster.

This doesn't happen on her own. She begins a romantic relationship with Princess Bonnibel "Bonnie" Bubblegum (Hynden Walch) in the series finale. The Adventure Time: Distant Lands episode "Obsidian" explores the relationship further. The episode was all the rage in fall 2020. Queer fans who love Bubbline (Bonnie and Marcy) were glad to see more of a focus on their relationship.

In that episode, Marcy grapples with her outer and inner demons, singing to Bonnie that she "always felt like a monster". Bonnie comforts her while she has her own insecurities. They work through her struggles together while Bonnie has her own traumas born from her position as ruler of the Candy Kingdom.

This is not unique to her. Protagonists Finn and Jake, voiced by Jeremy Shada and John DiMaggio, are often thrown into conflict, either with the Lich, or other enemies. Even BMO (Niki Yang), who is a computer/video game console unit, who has no definite gender, becomes traumatized through the series. The Ice King (Tom Kenny), Huntress Wizard (Maria Bumford), Flame Princess (Jessica DiCicco), and many others have trauma, too.

Star Trek: Lower Decks

Mariner fights with her digital self in the episode "Crisis Point"

Beckett Mariner (Tawny Newsome) is a character in this mature sci-fi comedy series. She is a human and an ensign aboard a ship known as the USS Cerritos who likes to buck rules. This is in part because she is the daughter of the ship's captain, Carol Freeman (Dawnn Lewis), even though she is very good at "all things Starfleet."

Although some have argued that her trauma is sometimes played for laughs, the series still explains her motivations. Others have argued that the whole Starfleet crew needs therapy and better mental health care for everything they have gone through. One character, Shaxs (Fred Tatasciore), even dies at the end of one season to save Sam Rutherford (Eugene Cordero).

Mariner breaks protocol as a character, with the most recent season indicating she is bisexual or pansexual. At one point, the show's creator, Mike McMahan, stated that Mariner's former lover was Captain Amina Ramsey. He added that that "every Starfleet officer is probably at the baseline bisexual" in a sense.

She was also shown to have dated a man named Steve Levy. In one Season 2 episode she even declared that she had dated "bad boys, bad girls, bad gender non-binary babes, [and] ruthless alien masterminds" in the past. McMahan confirmed that Mariner will be dating a woman named Jennifer Sh'reyan (Lauren Lapkus) in the show's next season.

Mariner is not the only character with traumatic experiences. The same is the case for the ship's chief engineer, Andy Billups. He may be asexual, as he has no interest in having sex with male or female guards. Other characters are in thrown into conflict-prone situations as well, which are the breeding ground for trauma.

Arcane

Cait and Vi look in horror at Jinx's missile heading toward the Piltover council

Trauma and tragedy fill this mature series. This is balanced with a tone not "too dour" and a plot that doesn't drag the story down. This is a series with themes of class oppression taking place in a world with "no sexism, racism, or homophobia." Human experimentation, acceptance, struggle, and family separation are important themes. There's also depiction of attempted suicide, death, and kidnapping.

The adopted brother of Jinx (Ella Purnell), first known as Powder, taunts her, undermining her self-confidence. This combines with her fear of abandonment and guilt after some of her adopted family dies, causing her to become traumatized. She is still haunted by what happened in the past. Silco taps into these feelings, raising Jinx as her own. He doesn't fault her for lashing when when triggered, even when it threatens his own operations.

She isn't the only one affected by trauma. For Violet "Vi" (Hailee Steinfeld), this comes from her rough childhood living in the undercity, and separation from her sister, Jinx. For Caitlyn "Cait" Kiramman (Katie Leung), she has to deal with the pressure of working as an enforcer for the upper city of Piltover and new pressures of the undercity. This includes tense, stressful, and violent situations, especially with Vi.

Although some criticized its depiction, there is no doubt that in this series, Cait and Vi have romantic feelings for one another. It is what fans call "CaitVi," "Violyn" or the official moniker, "Piltover's Finest", with over 10,000 subscribers to subreddits for the pairing. In the aftermath of the end of the last season, Vi and Cait will likely have to pick up the pieces after Jinx assassinated the council members of Piltover.

gen:LOCK

Fight between Madrani (left) and "Sinclair" (right)

Like Arcane, this sci-fi mecha action series is mature and filled with sorrow. Due to a generally negative audience response and a subreddit which has turned against the show, renewal is unlikely. HBO Max and Rooster Teeth threw the show to the wolves. For all its faults, the series depicts trauma unlike any other, so it deserves a mention in this article.

Val/entina 'Val' Romanyszyn, who is a genderfluid and pansexual woman voiced by Asia Kate Dillon, goes through a lot in the series. The man she loves, Kazu Iida (Kōichi Yamadera), dies in front of her, and she watches countless others get injured or killed.

She is not alone in this. A demon named Nemesis, in the head of the show’s protagonist, Julian Chase (Michael B. Jordan) torments him throughout the series. It turns out that he is only a copy of his original self and the "demon" is another copy. Even so, he comes to terms with Nemesis and sees it as another part of himself.

Trauma and the subconscious are major themes in this series. Other members of Chase’s team, Cameron 'Cammie' MacCloud (Maisie Williams) and Yasamin 'Yaz' Madrani (Golshifteh Farahani) are also traumatized. Fighting the purportedly "evil" Union deeply affects Cammie, Yaz, Kazu, and Val, as does stresses from their lives before the war. The same is the case for Robert Sinclair, a fighter for the Polity and later a guerrilla. The show's second season reveals that he has a boyfriend.

Some reviewers have stated that the series has "mental illness, trauma recovery, technological intimacy and identity" at its center. Others said that the series has characters with distinct personalities who have to tackle their own trauma.

Closing thoughts

There are many other examples of characters with trauma who are part of the LGBTQ community, such as Daisy in Magical Girl Friendship Squad, and Fry and Hamburg in Kid Cosmic to give two examples.

There are other characters who struggle with trauma, although it is harder to pin them into the LGBTQ community apart from headcanons. Take, for example, Beck in Tron:Uprising, Reagan Ridley in Inside Job, and Ron Stoppable in Kim Possible.

I would be remiss to not mention Steven Universe in the series of the same name. Due to his fighting against corrupted Gems and Gem warriors, he develops trauma. This is further explored in the limited 2019-2020 series, Steven Universe Future, which brings trauma to the forefront. He attempts to come to terms with and address the traumatic incidents which plague his mind.

In the end, more series with mature themes and LGBTQ characters suggests that characters racked with trauma are in the cards.

© 2022-2023 Burkely Hermann. All rights reserved.

#trauma #queer #animation #amity blight #hunter toh #luz noceda #lgbtq #amphibia #lilith clawthorne #raine whispers #eda clawthorne #thai character #anne boonchuy #sasha waybright #marcy wu #disenchantment #bisexuality #pansexual #high guardian spice #abbi jacobson #legend of korra #trans character #final space #ashly burch #kipo #rad sechrist #tangled #cassunzel #spop #catradora

[cringengl]

https://www.reddit.com/r/actuallesbians/comments/wkn5n1/why_do_you_guys_think_girls_tend_to_love_mlm/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=ioscss&utm_content=1&utm_term=1

looking more into the mlm and why it draws in female attention I’m not the only lesbian who noticed it I’ll post more links because the psychology of it fascinates me because as a gay woman male relationships really don’t interest me specially when wlw suffers so poorly.

no offence to byler fans either but I’d rather a budding community of lesbians looking for female relationships not that between two males and then slap the word rep on it how does that benefit lesbians exactly? In my views it doesn’t because byler is just make girls look dumb craving male attention.

elmax has more chemistry then byler the show fucked up there massive potential

Hi!! Thanks for sending me the link!!

Honestly though, I do have to disagree with a couple of your points. Just because something doesn't directly benefit lesbians doesn't mean it shouldn't be supported. We are the lgbtq+ community and a win for queer rep is a win for queer people and we should be supporting other parts of our community.

Second of all, the idea that girls/women/female fans who like byler are only "craving male attention" not only perpetuates the idea that the only reason women do things is for men, but also that women only do things out of a sexual interest, which obviously just isn't true. There are a myriad of reasons why women, sapphic and straight, engage with mlm stories, whether that is due to relating to the story, just enjoying the story, or yeah, due to "craving male attention" but my point is that it's not the only reason why and shouldn't be presented as such.

Elmax was only ever going to be a friendship and although I love reading it in fics, both El and Max needed a female friend after spending so long on their male friends and romance arcs. Stranger Things will always be a friendship show more than a romance show and I am always of the belief that female friendships are super important, especially for girls and women. Max was right when she said that El needed someone in her life other than Mike or Hopper. El honestly needs a break from romance arcs so I'm hoping that she'll be single for the majority of s5. The importance of female friendship is also the reason why I believe that Robin and Nancy's friendship is going to play a part as Robin is Nancy's first female friend since Barb and grief doesn't necessarily stop with closure and/or a funeral.

I do agree with you on the basis that there needs to be more wlw shows and movies. Although there has been the recent win of the renewal of Warrior Nun, so many wlw series are getting cancelled after the first season or just not getting made at all. It's honestly very frustrating because something I love about TV shows over movies is the fact that there's so much more content and more room for growth in both characters and relationships and at this point I get most of my wlw content from books (if anyone wants recs I am happy to give them!!). That means that if they get cancelled after 1 season then I, and I'm sure so many other people, just don't care as much as we aren't as attached to the characters.

There are so many reasons why this happens I'm sure, due to misogyny, lesbophobia and the falsely perceived idea that people don't want wlw media (for whatever reason). I honestly do think the reason is a mix of all these.

But yeah, thanks for the ask, this topic will always be an interesting one :))

#i havent read this over again so sorry if theres any mistakes #my phones weird brand of autocorrect and my inability to type are a match made in hell #misogyny #feminism #fandom #fandom culture #fandom discourse #lesbian #wlw #byler #< bcus u guys are mentioned and i want to know ur thoughts #byler is more of a community in of itself rather than just a ship atp #asks

[ilovescaredysquirrel2]

Family movie recommendations but hey have LGBT in them

I might as well make this post before I forget, and even though I'm straight, I still support LGBT. I just ended up falling in love with a man, but that doesn't take away the fact that I will support anyone who gay, lesbian, bi, ect... Just love who you want to love. I'm also a Christian and I know that people think Christians don't support LGBT but a lot of us do, we believe that Jesus wants us to support everyone and love everyone, and not hate them for a stupid decision. As a straight person, you might think I might not be the bets person to pick out nice LGBT family movies and maybe I'm not, but I am an expert when it comes to underrated family and kids movies. My best friend is bi and she has most of the same feelings about these movies as I do. When Disney tries to be "inclusive" and supportive, they either sneak a gay kiss in the background, or make a big deal out of it. Got news for ya, none of these movies on the lists are Disney!

Early Man (It looks like the villain has a boyfriend. Dino is his assistant, while he has another man named Stefano, come and rub his back while he's in the bathtub. There's a gay kiss scene with two cavemen in the background after they win the soccer game and there's also a gay kiss scene with Dug and Hognob, but Hognob's a pig.)

One Stormy Night (Okay, I don't think Mei and Gabu are gay, but Zack and Beach probably are. The author of the books didn't flat out confirm this, but he doesn't care if people used their imagination and made any of the characters gay. I feel like Zack & Beach are either gay, or just really close friends. They're not confirmed to be though)

Duck Duck Goose (The two cranes are actually confirmed to be gay. Though they maybe minor characters, they're adorable and funny. Duck Duck Goose is also an unforgettable movie with great characters. The story focuses more on family and a goose learning to make the right decision and help ducklings, so anyone can enjoy it)

These next ones are technically SHOWS, NOT MOVIES!

George and Martha (It's a cartoon that focuses on two hippos, a guy and girl, but they have two male alligator friends who are confirmed to be gay... and this was a 90s cartoon! This is the oldest one on the list, it's like from '97 or something. And before you go on judging it for being a 90s cartoon, it's not like Rockos modern life or PPG, it's way more kidlike than those. It's not filled with a ton of dirty jokes or anything. The two alligators are named Oscar and Wild and the have a puppy who George and Martha babysit, in an episode, and both alligators refer to themselves as "Daddy" to the puppy, meaning that they're both fathers to the puppy. Pretty woke for a 90s cartoon, eh? The show was based off a book series and no one ever heard of it because it aired on the Qubo channel and even though I had cable, I was one of those lucky ducks who got to watch Qubo.) I'm an American btw, idk if people outside of the U.S heard if it either

ToddWorld (Okay, yeah, they showed gay lions in the background but it's still a little bit of representation and it's explained to little kids in a nice way so that they can learn to accept it later on. I mean, it's not explained in a way that they won't understand. I also heard they mention it in the books saying "Some families have two mommies or two daddies" or something, but I never read the book, I just heard someone on Instagram mention it).

Even if you're not in the LGBT community, these are still amazing movies! You can still watch them. Again, I am NOT apart of the LGBT community, but I still support it. If you ever heard of any of these movies or shows, tell me about how you feel about them. Which ones surprised you the most, probably the 90s one, huh? It surprised me too. If you give these a try, tell me what you think

#movie recommendations #anime recommendations #non-disney recommendations

[justlittleguysims]

Moore Family Timeline : Part 1

Official Family timeline leading up to where the story for my WIP project would begin. Did this as a reference, but also because I was bored and for the sheer love of creating lore. More still to come!

Characters Mentioned in this part: Séamus and Lidia

Content Warning: War mentions, this is historical fiction, after all.

Séamus Tag || Lidia Tag || Their Shared Intro Post

For reference: The "Current Date" at the begin of our story is December 18th, 2021

September 4th, 1939 - Éamon de Valera passes the Emergency Powers Act, officially declaring Ireland’s neutrality during WWII shortly after Germany’s invasion of Poland.  

June 10th, 1940 – Mussolini declares war in France, officially entering Italy into WWII

July 4th, 1940 - Éamon de Valera rejects the British proposal to end the Partition of Ireland in exchange for Ireland’s entry in the war as their Ally, upholding Ireland’s neutrality throughout the war.

July 9th, 1940 – The Battle of Punta Stilo, between Italy, Britian and Australian naval units leads the Rossi family— who were in quiet opposition to their government’s actions— to consider leaving their homeland of Calabria for the safety of their growing family, but to where exactly?     

September 27th, 1940 - Lidia Rossi is Born; her father contacts a friend in the US soon after, pleading for emigration assistance.

November 30th, 1941 - Séamus O’Hara is Born; Due to Ireland’s reliance in British imports, and mutual attacks on Irish import ships from both Ally and Axis navies, the O’Hara’s —a family of shepherds— is stuck rationing their meals for the first few years leading up to and after of Séamus’ birth. Séa’s ma often bemoans this fact as being why he turned out “so short and weedy.”  

December 7th, 1941 – The Attack on Pearl Harbor leads to the US entering the war the next day. Following the war declaration, the US began arresting Japanese, German, and Italian immigrants, and naturalized citizens alike, placing them in internment camps across much of the west coast. The Rossi family decides to take a risk and begins the process of moving to the East coast in light of these events.       

March 14th, 1942 - Lidia Rossi and her family emigrate to Chicago, IL, with the help of a family friend’s sponsorship. The family lives alongside their sponsor and helps run their small grocery shop for the community.

October 12th, 1942 – Restrictions placed on Italian Americans marking them as "enemy aliens" at the time of internment, were lifted on this Columbus Day by President Franklin Roosevelt in an effort to win back Italian favor to the US government. (Note: Columbus was definitely a choice. A very American one. Sure says a lot, huh.)

February 1st, 1943 – Lidia’s mother decides to utilize her embroidery skills at a nearby garments factory to earn extra money for her family; the work conditions are terrible, but she has very little choice as a first time worker with limited English.

September 8th, 1943 – The last of the Italian Interment prisoners were released on this day, following the official surrender of Italian forces to the Allies.    

September 2nd, 1945 – World War II ends.

May 10th, 1950 - Lidia begins developing an interest in history and current events while listening to family and community members chitchatting while they worked.

April 6th, 1951 - Séamus begins his carpentry apprenticeship at the age of ten.

June 20th, 1952 - At 11, Séamus develops a friendship with the local midwife, named Dáirine, an “old maid” whose stories and wisdom helped to shape his overall world view while growing up. In hindsight, he's pretty sure she was a lesbian, and often wonders if maybe that's why he related so strongly with her.

August 4th, 1953 – Much too excited for the new school year, 12 year old Lidia begins to hone her writing skills independently, choosing to spend the last of her summer vacation time at her local library, reading whatever books struck her fancy, as well as browsing through old newspapers on the library’s microfiche system.

September 27th, 1954 – Lidia celebrates her 14th birthday with family, meanwhile on this same day, at 13, Séamus— having grown bored with his woodworking— begins to question what else is out there in the world. He briefly considered quitting his apprenticeship to join that of a local stone mason, but then he remembered that stone tends to weigh more than lumber, and that cutting large trees down to a manageable size was much easier with a simple rip saw than stone is with a hammer and chisel, so he quickly backpedaled on that bright idea. He would simply continue to admire the fine work of the masons from afar. Keep up the grand work, lads!  

#justlittleguy posting #project: wip #project wip : moore family #project wip: lidia #my ocs #my sims #my stories #oc deets #project wip: séamus #project: lidia & séamus

[impractical-and-unethical]

Random long post about a game I love:

A gacha game I've been playing every day for the last couple years called SinoALICE announced a few days back that its going to be ending service by the end of October, at least on the global server.

Its weird trying to kinda deal with that cause on one hand I barely play it during the day but also I love its characters and story and writing and music so much that I've stuck with it for about 3 years now.

A memory I have is that at a certain point in the game I was having a lot of trouble beating a level for a story I really wanted to see, and tried asking my guild for help. My guild members were mostly inactive, and so I didn't get any offers. So, wanting to beat this, I left and joined a different guild.

The guild immediately welcomed me openly, and when I started by asking if anybody could help me beat the level, about 4 people offered, one of which being Kenshee, the leader of thr guild. His strength in the game was beyond what I even thought possible and with their help I steamrolled the boss I was fighting and several others after that. I felt welcomed and wanted, and for the first time I can think of I felt part of an online community even if I didn't know all the people.

For the next two years, I participated in the daily colosseum. I did this because I wanted to give back and help these people that were so kind to help me. When the enemy was too hard, we'd just set it to auto battle and use the 20 minutes it takes to talk to each other, catch up, talk about games we're excited for, which often spilled over to normal group chat after it ended. I was never the strongest member of the guild, in fact I was often the weakest. However, once I was too weak to be automatically placed in the vanguard, I moved myself to the back to try to focus on support roles. I felt a little left out. But my guild members asked me what I was doing so far in the back and told me to come forward. I was weak, and not able to help much, but they wanted me near the front cause they liked me and wanted me around.

It was a huge guild full of people I barely knew, but I felt so welcomed and so loved. We all loved the game and the story and were united in that.

At a certain point, a person I got particularly close to named Sarnai said that she was getting tired of keeping up with the game, and that she would leave. But, she offered for anybody that wants to keep in touch with her. I reached out, and now instead of being Sarnai my friend from the guild, she's my friend Jen, a 30 year old lesbian from England who moved to Ireland to be with her wife who likes writing fanfic. This is somebody so different from me and yet I had the privilege to meet her.

Over time, as the game went on, people had trouble keeping up with the game, and over time a lot of people, including the group leader Kenshee ended out leaving. At the same time, I met new people, like Mocchiato and Yjennes and Wraith. Cool, friendly people.

Now, the game announces end of service. The story has a definitive ending, one that the Japanese server is remarkably close to. And yet, they're just going to end the story here. 3 full story arcs left, and yet they're cutting it off, like if Breaking Bad ended at season 4 or something. I can easily just look it up online, but I won't be experiencing beating it, and definitely not with these people that I consider my friends.

On top of that, currently, the game is doing its monthly "Gran Colosseum" events, where guilds compete and win rewards like upgrade materials, new weapons and classes, and in-game currency to use the gacha mechanic. It also has a "Big Thanks" gacha event going on where you get to do daily free pulls. Coincidentally I recently watched a video from Jacob Geller where he talked about a book/movie called "On the Beach" where citizens in Australia continue to go about their daily lives despite knowing an apocalypse is coming for them in 6 months. It asks the question of "when do you give up? When do you stop doing daily routines? When does comfort outweigh acceptance?"

A weird analogy, and barely equivalent, but it makes me feel the same way. The game gives me crystals to spend on a gacha system thats shutting down, and gives me upgrade materials to improve my ability to fight in a story that won't exist soon. A character in On the Beach plants seeds that won't sprout until 6 months after the earth is dead. Context is completely different, but the feeling of not being able to accept but acknowledging the end of something feels like it applies in both ways.

This is a long post, so I'm stopping, but I just wanted to record my thoughts about a game that means a lot to me, that I loved playing, that I found in a very lonely time of my life and has been a constant in a very confusing world. I love the people I met as if they're friends I've had for years, and I dont even know most of their names. Its that community I'll miss the most.

Anyways, this was just a stream of thought. But like I said. I want to put down in words my difficult feelings about this. I love sinoalice and even if I keep in touch with some guild members or switch to the JP server or watch the rest of the story on YouTube, that feeling won't be the same. But I'm at least thankful I got to have it.

#sinoalice #guild #rambling #just trying to put tags I can hopefully remember

[seraandthebees]

OC introduction post

(because I realised I haven’t done one on here and I love her dearly)

Herah Adaar:

The basics:

- Inquisitor

- Tal Vashoth mage

- Lesbian

- she/her

- romances and then marries Sera

- 23 at the start of DAI

Personality:

Herah is a nerdy academic who is curious about anything and everything. She loves using and studying her own magic, but is happy to read and find out more about pretty much anything at least on an academic level.

She’s anxious to make the most she can out of her life. She’s experienced loss in the form of losing her father in an attack on the Tal Vashoth community in which she grew up and the death of her girlfriend in a mercenary job gone wrong. She knows that if you take something for granted then you won’t understand what it means to you until you lose it.

Attitude towards being Inquisitor:

As Inquisitor, Herah’s two main goals are to close the breach and to help as many people as possible in this newfound position of power she now has. Although forever an over-thinker about her every decision, she takes well to her role as leader and over time becomes more confident in trusting her instincts and knowing what is best without endless agonising. Her desire to help others will guide her to the answer in the end.

Relationship:

Herah values being able to relax from that stress though and she finds a way to maintain that balance in her relationship with Sera. Sera, like her, also acts to help people who don’t necessarily have the power to help themselves. Sometimes that help comes in the form of a morale boost. Sometimes that morale boost is for the leader’s benefit as much as for the ‘little people’.

Laughter and joy are cornerstones of their relationship and the fact that they can make each other laugh in a way no one else can is absolutely vital to them.

Friendships:

She also really values friendship and being able to lean upon and be leant upon by her friends. Her best friends from the Inquisition are fellow mages Dorian and Solas. They all geek out together about magic and theory and the latest scholarship published as a form of bonding. She knows that she can go to these two if anything happens and get genuine comfort and advice on the topic/situation.

Her biggest flaw is her loyalty. She is loyal in the most extreme sense to those she loves and she will do anything to redeem or win back those she feels like she has lost.

This next bit goes against the established canon.

In my canon world state, Solas tells Dorian (with whom he is romantically involved) and Herah about his true identity after What Pride Had Wrought. This is not a deal breaker for either although both do have to adjust to getting the full picture. I won’t go into the ins and outs of it here because I feel like this probably requires its own separate post. I just felt it was important to make mention of it for the purpose of understanding Herah’s character.

Opinions on topical matters:

- Opposed to the Circles

- Ambivalent on the Chantry (not religious)

- Opposed to the Templars

- Does not believe she’s the Herald

- Leliana as Divine

- Exiles Wardens (Although not opposed to them in theory, she can’t see that them remaining would do anything but harm for the time being.)

I hope you enjoyed reading this introductory post to Herah! To my mutuals who already know her I hope this was a fun read too! I’ve tried to cover a rough outline of her character. There’s parts that I haven’t gone into here for the sake of keeping this relatively succinct but feel free to ask any questions because I love talking about her!

#oc: Herah Adaar #dragon age #dragon age inquisition #Herah Adaar

[ablednt]

would you say it’s wrong of me to struggle to trust queer people to be fully inclusive when they say lgbtq+ instead of queer

like yeah i know its insensitive to people who have trauma w the word queer but lgbtq+ seems to have become a marker for people who 1) think queer is a slur and cannot be used as an umbrella term/community descriptor and 2) have some form of exclusionary ideas or at least are severely uneducated

you just seemed like a good person to ask idk. it might be the autism-trauma mix of where my brain goes “[x] = [y]” about things it Shouldnt but yeah

I think that makes sense! It doesn't bother us but like it's fine to be wary of people when they do/say things that you mainly attribute (fairly rightfully so in this case) with someone harmful/malicious. There's nothing wrong being on guard with that so long as you're not making a concrete assumption based on it.

Personally it's like. We do think it's a slur because growing up our cishet parents who used the f slur regularly still wouldn't use it cause "oh god that ones a REAL bad word" cause it was in their brain mainly associated with hate crimes and shit and we've heard a lot of older gays and lesbians say it makes them uncomfortable when used on them.

But I don't think "it's a slur" is at all indicative of "it shouldn't be reclaimed or shouldn't be used academically or to refer to the community" because like... the people saying that have no problem reclaiming other slurs like dyke does not even register to me as a slur because basically every lesbian I've ever met in my life identifies with it

And I used to be super uncomfortable with the f slur cause I heard that one used as an actual slur most of my life and I still think cishets who say it should be attacked on-site but lately cause of how lightheartedly it's been used on here it now has enough positive associations for me that it doesn't bother me.

So it's like queer is a slur is an objective fact and it's really weird and gaslighty to people who have trauma with it when instead of any sensible arguments people double down like "no it's not it's never been one that's ahistorical" instead of just pointing out there is unlikely to be a queer term that hasn't also been used as a slur at some point.

And the other thing that frustrates me is tagging discourse cause i get why a "q slur" tag makes people uncomfortable however "q word" "q power" etc are all right there (and if it's truly distressing it's fine to set the boundary that people with that trigger don't interact conflicting triggers are like super common and normal lol) but also because people are once again equivalating "trigger" with "something inherently bad" and that alienates all trauma survivors who have triggers that aren't bad things like regular words and names etc.

Like it was that casual ableism that kept me stuck in exclusie circles for a long time cause so many people were so focused on winning arguments with exclusies they lost sight of the original issue and its importance (making spaces as accessible and inclusive as possible, which isn't actually very difficult when people are willing to compromise but of course internet discourse participants are no longer exercising good faith) but eventually I was able to find a good niche of people but thinking about it I'm only really friends with people who have triggers that aren't bad things so maybe I'm still pretty alienated from the queer community but the ableism there is much bigger than just this issue.

But anyway point being theres some nuance here and it's not automatically bad if someone doesn't use the word queer for themselves but it IS a dogwhistle and you're completely valid to be wary of it for that reason

#ask to tag

[xx-riffraff-xx]

hello tumblr im writing a novel. as one does right. it’s vaguely a slice-of-life maybe??? idk there’s probably a plot but rn it’s just the characters being characters and occasionally i put my guys in a Situation or two. you’re gonna love it, trust. so there’s this 17 year old trans guy right his name is jax. it was cloud for a while but dw about it, he’s jax now. he’s got some Issues but it’s fine. he’s got a little sister (she’s 6) and he takes care of her and also has a job to pay for groceries and also his mom works like 60 hours a week probably idk, so she’s kinda gone a lot but it’s chill he’s thriving. (he’s not.) he’s a very caring individual, mature and has no problems whatsoever he swears (ignoring the fact that his grades are dropping and he Needs those to get scholarships for college and one of his jobs fell through and also his childhood best friend is back in his life and he’s being an ASSHOLE now but it’s fine he’s got no issues.) btw his dad is gone, he might come back, he probably comes back, idk why he left in the first place yet. we’ll see.

SO. this childhood best friend right. his name is harley. he’s a horse girl and his parents are divorcing and he is so sad and so angry all the time right. he wonders a lot what it would be like to have wings. he wears jackets even in the summer bc they make him feel bigger and his favorite jacket is his letterman. he’s also smart! like really smart. and he’s good at taking notes and his teachers like to volun-tell him to be a tutor sometimes. he’s got siblings too, he’s not close with them. they fight all the time. he might have an ex idk yet, i think he might. he potentially also has a girlfriend but idk about that yet either. he’s also got a toyota corolla i think. ANYWAY BACK TO THE PLOT PART OF THIS. jax moved away just before middle school and lost contact just after starting middle school so harley’s kinda pissed at him for that. but now jax is back and it’s killing him slowly from the inside so he’ll just do what he always does and mask his feelings of longing with anger and hate. but wHAT’S THIS!?!??!?!???? JAX’S GRADES DROP SO FAR THAT NOW HARLEY HAS BEEN VOLUN-TOLD TO TUTOR HIM!?!? omg who could’ve foreseen this happening. this goes about as well as you’d expect when you have two traumatized teens with poor emotional communication skills and history in a room together every week for a couple hours at a time.

and ALSO!!! floating around here somewhere im not sure where she fits yet possibly harley’s ex definitely jax’s friend, is josslyn!!! she’s a hotheaded wrestler girl with an affinity for red lipstick. she’s also perpetually angry, just in a different way. more cocky and daring than sad and mean. she’s got a VERY strong sense of justice and would like to kill all public figures. i think she wears skirts idk yet, she’d def also wear tank tops and cargo pants but who knows not me. she wants to go to college parties. she does, once. she drags jax along with her and it ends terribly. she gets very in over her head very quickly and doesnt know when to quit. if you tell her not to do something or that she cant do something, she WILL be doing that something and she WILL be in your face about it as well. she’s possibly also a lesbian.

about that party, fun fact harley was also there and it’s kind of important actually. i’ve got some more stuff in the middle but if this is interesting check back in like idk a year. i might have it written. the brainrot definitely hasnt gone away. i’ve just gotta get through the middle. if i get through the middle i will win.

#writeblr #is this anything #the guys in my brain have playlists in my phone too #except josslyn i haven’t made hers yet #in case you couldn’t tell all of these people are me #i will probably be posting this story if it ever gets finished #on my ao3!

[undead-supernova]

I'll Pay the Price, You Won't.

Miss Heartbreak

Chapter 1 / Chapter 2 / Chapter 3

Masterlist

This chapter is based off of Miss Americana & The Heartbreak Prince by Taylor Swift and I'm starting to realize just how in deep I am in the lore and storytelling of her music. See if you can find my easter eggs, hm?

plot: no cameras catch my muffled cries...you are the only one who seems to care...this is a fight that some day we're gonna win

Pairings: modernrockstar!Eddie x fem!popstar!Reader (curvy!reader, bisexual!reader)

Warnings: slut shaming, body image insecurities, public shaming, crying

easter egg count: 43

wc: 5.3k

When you first realized you were in love with him, it was a Saturday night. You weren’t even with him. In fact, you were at a house party with some of your best friends. They weren’t famous—these three girls were in college, just the way you should’ve been. You’d met them at a dive bar in Pittsburg while touring. 

There was a distinct memory of watching these girls walk in, talking about their English courses and the ten-page research papers on the feminist lens of the works of Octavia Butler, rape culture in a novel called Waiting for the Barbarians, and how the third girl was doing some deep dive into the coded lesbianism in Gertrude Stein’s Tender Buttons. You approached them, desperate to know more about their class. Their studies. Their college experiences. 

Desperate to know more about the life you gave away when your career blew up three days before moving into your dorm room. 

They knew who you were, but they didn’t care to squeal or ask for pictures. Instead, they motioned for you to join them and started to complain about their shared Rhetorical Analysis class. And after a few Fireball shots, some poor attempts at karaoke, and loud debates about Jane Austen and Emily Brontë that nearly got you kicked out, you were solidified. 

But there you were, at a college house party after flying out just to see them. You were in drastically different makeup than you were used to. In short, you were basically in Eddie Munson cosplay. Your friends had dressed you up, giggling and adding more charcoal eye shadow than you desired. Becky, Mary, and Este swore it would make you feel better. That you’d dance the night away without a care in the world.

But the couch was where you stayed the whole night, a mimosa (filled with more prosecco than orange juice) in your hands as you watched life exist around you. You were pretending to be a normal twenty-two year old girl. You were pretending that you could have love affairs with anyone you wanted to and if your heart got broken every single time, it wouldn’t be such a big deal to anyone outside of your friends that loved you.

And he would be there, too. 

With your head to rest on his shoulder, listening to him talk about his Dungeons and Dragons game he hosted with the rest of the band when they were tucked away in hotel rooms. They were too big to go out without everyone and their mother following them, so they found a way to escape. 

(People thought they did drugs and partied. And, at the start of the band, they did. Eddie had told you about having a coke problem in the beginning and Gareth, Jeff, and Grant trashing hotel rooms. Ronnie getting the cops called on her house regularly for the outrageous parties she hosted. But it died out after about a year when they realized how tiring it was to just be on all the time. They went to parties sometimes, but now they really looked forward to smoking a few joints and playing a fantasy game.)

In this fictional scenario, they’d congregate in the communal rooms at their dorm. They’d buy a few pizzas and beer, remembering to get the garlic twists of course, and play for six hours.

And you would lean over to his ear, brushing your lips against his ear and say, “I’m in love with you.”

As soon as it fell into your imagination, you were startled to the point of springing up and running to the bathroom, hyperventilating in the mirror. The rest of your night had been spent with your friends cuddling you in their shared apartment until you could calm down.

“It’s too soon for this!” you exclaimed. “It’s too soon for me to fall in love.”

They said that it was fine. That you were allowed to love him. That the chance at love was worth the bullshit. You could survive this, even if he didn’t feel the same. Maybe you would be able to connect better if you just told him how you felt.

But this was only a month after you started seeing each other.

Only a week before you two were caught in public together.

Only a week before the whole world had an opinion.

“I can’t believe we’re out at a restaurant in Manhattan of all places.”

“On a date,” he noted.

“On a date.”

“Oh, and happy four-month anniversary,” he said while holding up his piece of bread, leaning over to tap yours with it.

“Ah, yes. How could I forget?” you teased before stuffing the slice in your mouth, closing your eyes as you became overwhelmingly calmed by the taste of butter melting on your tongue.

It was super late on a Saturday, one of the only times you could get away with having a private dinner without the threat of paparazzi and lingering glances. You felt fancy, with a sparkly silver dress on, all short with thin straps and a small slit at the thigh. Tall, sparkly silver heels that made you nearly the same height as him. A fluffy pink faux fur coat sitting on the back of the chair (that Eddie had spent the whole drive here running his hands through). Pink nails to match, already chipped from your nervous picking.

Eddie was dressed beautifully, wearing a silk white button down. Simple black blazer and slacks. His signature boots. Those rings. That necklace. Hair up in a bun with bangs and stray hairs framing his face. The only real nontraditional part of his ensemble was a thin layer of black eyeliner adorning his eyelids and waterline, with mascara to match. 

Oh, and a coat of lipgloss, lipgloss that he borrowed from you, that was now lining the rim of his wine glass.

“Do you like it?” he asked. “The wine, I mean.”

You looked down at the burgundy liquid you were absentmindedly swirling. You had no clue what that did for the drink or if it was just to look fancy, but it was something you saw your parents do growing up. You decided to take a crack at being an adult tonight, just to see how it felt.

“Yeah, it’s nice. Thank you.” 

He nodded, but you could tell that he was still nervous about the whole thing. You couldn’t blame him. Being out for an official date together in the heart of a city with nearly nine million people who could ruin it at any second was quite a heavy burden. There was a part of you that feared that you had become a burden in the last four months. 

Enough of that, you tried to tell yourself.

“However,” you added. “I do have to confess that I have absolutely no clue what the difference is between this and the stuff I get at the grocery store.”

Eddie let out a sigh and a breathy laugh. You wondered how long he’d been holding it in. “Well, that’s a relief because I was literally sitting here thinking the exact same thing.”

You couldn’t help but giggle. “Are you serious?”

He kept laughing. “Yes! I thought I was the only one!”

“No, this is literally exactly how I feel whenever I have dinner with some of the label execs,” you exclaimed. “They order all this like crazy expensive wine, and I have to just sit there and be like,” you raised the pitch of your voice, “Oh, wow. This is sooo cool. So good. What year is it? That must cost a fortune.”

Eddie nodded. “Me, too! And it’s like: Dude, seriously? I could get shit I like better than this at, like, Trader Joe’s or Target. Fuck, even Walmart.”

You giggled as you continued to nod with him. “Yes, yes, yes! I genuinely don’t get it. Everyone is so pretentious, I swear.”

“I wholeheartedly agree.” Eddie raised his glass. “Fuck ‘em.”

You grinned. “Fuck ‘em!” you agreed, clinking your glass with his before you took a hearty sip. Finally took a second glance around the room. 

“I really thought there’d be more people here,” you observed. “Isn’t this, like, a popular restaurant? I hear celebs love this place.”

“I maaaay have bought out the empty tables,” Eddie admitted, looking sheepish. “I didn’t want our first official date to be bombarded with people we know or even ones we don’t. I wanted to make sure I could focus.”

A grin met your lips. “You’re a sweetheart, you know that?”

“That’s you, baby. That’s all you.”

The playful dinner conversation continued with a whole three course meal plus dessert. You came alive in public for once, talking in silly voices and laughing as loud as you wanted. Like you were best friends. Like you were lovers. Holding Eddie’s hand at the table without having to worry about cell phones. No one here was able to take away what was yours.

Despite feeling full, you couldn’t help but nibble on some more of the bread. Your personal trainer, Mary, forbid you from eating any while you were gearing up for another album release and tour. But you were starting to care a little bit less. And she wasn’t here. Eddie was, pushing the basket towards you. 

But then the strangest thing happened as the waiter took your dinner plate.

As he turned to leave, you looked past him and saw that the other five occupied tables in the restaurant were…staring. And…so were their waiters? Had everyone finally started staring or were you only now noticing? But you would’ve noticed before…

They were all looking from their phones to you and then back again. The hushed whispers were getting a bit louder, even catching Eddie’s ears. He turned his head to look but was distracted when his phone started ringing.

Gareth.

“Take it,” you encouraged. Eddie raised an eyebrow. “It’s probably important.”

He nodded. “Hey,” he said as he answered.  “No, I’m on an incredibly important date, remember?”

As you spread butter over the last slice, you couldn’t help but giggle when Eddie looked up at you with a quick wink and a smile meant only for you.

But then his eyebrows narrowed.

“What’re you doing watching cable?”

And a part of you wished you could hear the other side of the conversation when you watched Eddie’s neutral expression falling into anger.

“They what?”

“It’s fucking SNL. They haven’t had a good run in years. I don’t think anyone even watches—” 

You noticed him get cut off before shaking his head. 

“What? Why the fuck do people care?”

“Fuck…yeah, okay… Sure, whatever…” He sighed, pinching his nose in frustration. “No, I’m not mad at you. Promise… I’m sorry for being a dick. I just hate people, I swear…” A quick nod. “Thanks for understanding and letting me know. Love you, dude. Okay, talk later.”

“What’s wrong?” you asked as he immediately started searching for something on his phone. “Is everything okay?”

Eddie paused, looking away from his phone to bring his attention back to you. 

His expression held something resembling an apology. 

“The guys are watching TV back at the hotel and, uh, they were watching SNL…”

“Okay?”

“Apparently they did a skit about you.”

Your stomach dropped as you let his words sink in. 

It was one thing to have random people on the internet give you shit. It was another thing entirely for a long-running, highly known television show to have grown adults portray you and spend four to six minutes making fun of you. Especially when you’d performed there merely two months ago.

“Is it…” you trailed, almost unable to speak.

“Yeah,” Eddie said. “Yeah, it’s bad.” 

“It’s on YouTube already?” He nodded. “Let me see.”

“Are you sure you want to watch it?”

You nodded. “I should know what’s going on. Everyone’s already staring at us,” you stated, gesturing behind him.

When Eddie looked back at every nameless face watching you, every single person looked away. Like he commanded the room with his presence. Like he had the power to change the world with just one stare. 

He had changed your world with just one glance.

Sighing, Eddie clicked on the video, holding it between you two on the table.

“I decided to go on The Bachelorette to prove that I haven't dated everyone,” a woman said with a huge grin, mimicking the way you smiled. "And to get new inspiration because I need to sell my next album. I'm sure this will be fun."

Some new addition to the cast tried to imitate your posture. Your voice. Your everything. She was acting like you were some ditsy girl. Did people really think of you like this? Is this how the cast and crew saw you when you were there?

A fake announcer's voice said, “Here are the men and women chosen for tonight.”

The woman impersonating you smiled even wider in a comedic fashion, making fun of the way you, what, didn't ever give a negative reaction? The camera turned to watch everyone file in.

The different men and women of the SNL cast rotated, pretending to be people you’d allegedly been with. But most of them were wrong. When you were rumored to be dating these people, friend or not, they left, either from wanting that clout or being unable to handle the noise. All you had wanted were real friendships, real relationships. But being burnt at the stake came with the possibility of flammable embers. 

One after the other, impression after impression, they were reminding you of everyone you’d lost. 

And was that Jacob Elordi pretending to be…Christopher Briney?

(You met Christopher once at the Emmy’s, having taken one fucking photo together before he was whisked away by his team. At the time, you had only wished he would notice you before he got a girlfriend…)

“We're missing one guy...where is he?” the announcer said.

Mikey Day popped in with a smoke machine behind him and some copyright free rock music playing, wearing a curly wig and pretending to be Eddie. The audience lost their minds, erupting in applause and laughter at the sheer mention of him. He was immediately stereotyped as a punk stoner who only pretended to listen to you talk while playing his guitar.

“Hey, babe,” he said, trying to mimic Eddie’s voice. “What’s up?”

You looked over at the real Eddie who looked less than impressed. Less than affected by someone trying to make fun of him. You wished you could say the same for yourself.

“I CHOOSE HIM FOR MY NEXT ALBUM!” the woman shouted before ripping up the roses and walking over. However, she turned and pointed at the others. "Save them for me in case I get bored.”

As she grabbed onto "Eddie's" arm and professed her love, it was clear that he wasn't paying attention. "Are you even listening to me?" she shouted.

“Nah, baaabe,” he said and then realized his “mistake”. Cue laughter. “I’m totes paying attention.” Laughter. “Just practicing this sick riff for the band.” He raised his guitar before turning it the other way. “Does it look cool this way, babe?” Laughter ensued as he pretended to play his guitar right-handed. “Do I look metal as hell?”

“Totally, babe,” the woman said, giggling. “You’re so hot.”

“Ah, babe, thanks. I know it’s been three minutes but this is forever, babe.”

When the skit ended, Eddie turned it off and shoved his phone in his pocket.

“Sweetheart, I’m sorry—”

“It’s okay,” you said, trying to tell yourself more than him. “It’s okay. It’s fine. I’m fine.”

Did anyone see what was happening? That this was starting to get out of hand? It was like nobody gave a shit, nobody cared that you were human. Yes, you were privileged and had money, you knew that. You grew up fucking poor, hit even worse with the 2008 recession, hardly ever recovering.

You always acknowledged your privilege, always made it a point to give it away to people who needed it more than you. Provided for your family so your parents didn’t have to go back to working at the sawmill and being fucking tour guides for next to nothing at Graceland. (The fucking irony.) Donated constantly to animal shelters, women’s shelters, LGBTQIA+ youth organizations, etc. etc. 

But no one would know any of that because you kept that secret. Kept it hidden to be the face of your label, with a shiny pageant smile. You were now the punching bag, the reflection of society that every YouTuber did deep dives on and now SNL was taking a shot at. 

When would it end?

“Are you?” Eddie asked, causing you to come out of the fog. “‘Cause your hands are shaking.”

You looked down, realizing he was right. “I—”

Before you could say anything, your own phone buzzed. Looking down, you noticed a text from Becky. It was a link to a video on Twitter or X or whatever the fuck it was called now. Her text read, 

Look how delusional the internet is. I don’t care about this crap but I wanted to make sure you knew what was going on before you got bamboozled or something. Also, fuck that SNL skit. Love you.

“There’s more,” you murmured, looking up at Eddie’s concerned expression.

“Fuck.”

He stood up immediately and pulled over the chair next to you. He sat and leaned in, just as deep into this as you were. You didn’t hesitate to click on the link. It was just another band-aid to rip off anyways. 

The caption said:

are gareth ronnie and grant next? lmao eddie shouldn’t have gone anywhere near her. the vibes are soooo off

You heard Eddie scoff as he read it.       

The video attached was of you and Jeff walking around New York City that very morning, laughing together. You nudged his arm, animatedly talking. 

You knew what had happened, distinctly remembering that the conversation was about Eddie. Jeff had been teasing you, telling you that he knew you were disgustingly in love with him and that you needed to just say it before you lost your minds. You thought it was funny, so you jokingly nudged his arm and pretended to threaten violence. That was it. Nothing else happened.

“No!” you exclaimed, wild-eyed as you turned to Eddie. “No, Jeff and I went to get this chocolate mousse at this little bistro we both like. We told you before we left, remember? I swear it was the truth. We were literally talking about you. Eddie, I—”

“It’s all good, sweetheart,” Eddie interrupted, kissing your temple four times. “Don’t worry about it, okay? It’s okay. I believe you. I know you’d never do anything like that.” You felt yourself breathe again. “Besides, Jeff has a crush on our tech manager anyways.”

That made you chuckle for a second, but you felt yourself deflate, putting a hand on your forehead as tears trickled down your cheeks. “I’m scared. I don’t like this, Eddie.”

“Me neither.” 

Before you could say anything else, your waiter was approaching the table.

“Is there anything else I can get for you?” the waiter asked, hands politely clasped in front of him. You avoided his gaze, embarrassment flooding your system. There was something irrational telling you that he would tell the internet about your breakdown, expose you for your reaction.

But when you glanced at him, he actually looked…concerned.

“Yeah, could we get the check, please?” Eddie asked in a hushed voice, running his fingers down your back. “We’re gonna need a minute, but I just wanna get that out of the way.”

“Of course, Mr. Munson.” he responded before turning to you. “I can take that plate for you if you’d like?”

“Oh, yes, sorry,” you said, sniffling. 

Without thinking, you moved your hand to grab your bread plate, accidentally knocking your glass on the table. You watched as the wine seeped into the white cloth, staining the fabric.

Eddie was quick to grab the glass before it shattered on the floor.

“Oh, shit,” you muttered, taking your napkin and trying to blot the stain. You kept glancing up at the waiter through your tears. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. That’s so rude of me. I’m so sorry.”

The waiter shook his head. “It’s okay, ma’am. We have a hundred more in the back. This happens all the time.”

“Here,” you said, shaking your head as you rummaged through your purse. When you found your wad of cash, you handed him a one-hundred-dollar bill. “Take this. For you, not the restaurant. I’m so sorry.”

He gaped at you, looking down at the bill before looking back up. “Um, thank you,” he said, breaking his customer service voice before taking the cash from you. “I’ll get everything sorted for you right away.”

“Sweetheart.”

“I want to leave,” you whispered, your voice cracking. “Can we leave?”

You looked over at Eddie who was already standing and grabbing your coat. 

“Yeah, baby,” he said softly. “I’ll pay up front. Come on, let’s go.”

But it wasn’t really going to be that simple, was it?

As soon as you reached the front doors, James and Scott, your personal bodyguard, were stopping you.

“Guys, uh, we got a situation,” Scott said, mainly looking at you.

“What’s wrong?” you asked.

“There’s a fuck ton of paparazzi out there.”

“And that’s the only way we can get to the car,” James added.

You wanted to look at Eddie, but you didn’t want him knowing just how scared you were. He was so stoic and strong, always being able to shrug everything off. It was like he was born for this. 

Maybe you weren’t.

“Okay,” Eddie said, putting his shoulders back before grabbing your hand. His grasp was firm with a gentle squeeze that left your heart soaring despite the fear. He nudged your arm, causing you to look up. “Ready, sweetheart?”

You nodded, looking back at James and Scott, tear stains still adorning your cheeks. “I’m ready. Let’s do this.”

A gasp left your mouth as the doors opened and a swarm of people with cameras crowded around you. Flashes and red recording lights and cell phones. Screams, gasps. Some fans tried to catch your attention the best they could, but their voices were drowned out by the incessant vultures. James and Scott were on either side of you, pushing people out of the way. 

But it did nothing. It only sprung more tears.

Paparazzi shouted your name. Shouted Eddie’s.

         “What did you think of the SNL skit?”

         “Any comment on the cheating allegations?”

         “Is this thing between you serious?”

They were all variations of the same thing.

Except for one voice that stood out from the rest.

“Hey, why are you crying?”

You turned, seeing a teenage girl who looked barely fourteen, maybe fifteen, with rainbow braces and friendship bracelets in her hand. She stood next to who you presumed to be her mother, over by the curb. Set apart from the hive.

Despite your better judgment, you nudged Scott and walked over to her quickly. 

“I want to talk to her,” you told him loudly, disconnecting your hand from Eddie’s.

Scott nodded. “You got maybe a minute and a half before things get buckwild.”

“She’s got this,” Eddie said. You looked at him and smiled.

Thank you, you mouthed before rushing over to the girl.

“Are you okay?” she asked.

“Just got a lot going on, hun,” you said softly, trying to smile but your tears clouded your vision. Your only hope was that the sight wouldn’t scar her for the rest of her life. “What’s your name?”

“Caroline,” she said before handing you the bracelets. “I made these for you.”

Her mom placed a hand on your shoulder, causing you to look up. “She’s been keeping them with her just in case she ever saw you in the city. She’s a big, big fan.”

You could only try to smile again, studying the colors Caroline chose to represent your last few albums. Light blue to represent your self-titled album. A soft sage for your second, “Tetris”. Sparkling gold for your last album, “Acacia My Dear”. There were even one or two that had references to inside jokes shared between you and the fans.

“These are beautiful,” you told her, immediately rolling them onto your wrist. “Thank you so much, Caroline.”

“Could I get a picture of you two?” her mom asked.

“Hey,” Scott interrupted. “Sorry, we gotta cut this short. They’re pressin’ in on us.”

You nodded, looking back at Caroline. “Thank you so much, Caroline. This means everything to me,” you said honestly. Without thought, you gave her a tight hug. “You just made everything better,” you whispered in her ear.

When you pulled back, her mom grabbed your hand. “You’re doing great things,” she said, softly squeezing your hand. “Don’t let those bastards win.”

Before you could even process her words or thank her, Scott was pulling you back to Eddie. Scott seemed a little softer, blonde hair still peppering with gray. He was from Tennessee, like you, his accent just noticeable enough to give him away. James seemed to contrast him, with thick muscles, frown lines across his forehead, and a bald head. Oh, and did you mention that he was a hardass from Ireland?

Your grasp on Eddie’s hand tightened with every passing second before you were finally enclosed in the confines of the black van. 

The walk to the car was only, what, two minutes? Three?

But it felt like forever.

The waterworks continued, wracking your body with sobs you didn’t realize were just brewing behind the façade you were able to put up on any given occasion. 

Scott took the driver’s seat while James took shotgun. You could just barely make out what they were whispering.

“Fucking vampires, the lot of ‘em,” James said, shaking his head.

“Them two deserve better,” Scott replied. “They’re just fucking kids.”

Eddie pulled you into his side, making sure you were hidden from any and all intrusion even if the windows were severely tinted.

You had an urge, however miniscule it felt, to go on your Instagram story and be bitter about it. Tell SNL to fuck off and remind them how sexist and gross it was to put you in a sketch just to make fun of your dating history when there were men around you who ran through women like sport and talked about them like each one was a momentary fad. 

But you knew what would happen. You would be considered overreacting. You’d be a woman scorned and laughed at for caring so much despite the rest of the fucking internet seeming to care more.

So, you did nothing. Said nothing.

You merely curled yourself further into Eddie and fought the urge to have a mental breakdown.

“We’re getting out of the city,” he whispered. “Back to your place.”

“It’s a long drive,” you mumbled. 

“I don’t mind. Really. We made the drive out here, remember?” Eddie shook his head. “Speaking of, I’m sorry. I should’ve chosen somewhere more secluded.”

“You shouldn’t have to. We shouldn’t have to.”

He leaned back, tilting your chin up to make eye contact with you. “I want you to feel safe.”

“But I want us to be normal people going to a normal restaurant and have a normal date.”

“We’ll win this fight, okay?” he said, tracing his thumb along your cheeks as the tears came and went. “They have to get bored soon enough, yeah? TikTok will move on to its next viral bullshit anytime now. We just have to wait it out.”

“It’ll just go away?”

“Honestly, I don’t know.” Both you and Eddie let out a sigh. “Listen, okay? Just listen to me. We’ll figure this out. I’ll tell the world to fuck off. Just give me the word and I’ll do it.”

“That’ll just egg them on.”

He kissed your wet cheek. Pulling back, you could see the color return to his face as he smiled. “I could always pull an Ozzy.”

That got a giggle out of you, a few snot bubbles awkwardly falling down your lips. Eddie didn’t mind, simply grabbing a tissue to help wipe it away.

“Absolutely do not do that,” you said with a sigh, grabbing another one.

“Then I won’t. But I’m here in front of you. I want you. I need you.”

You nodded, your eyes glassy and wild as you tried to stop crying.

“Alright, babe?” he exaggerated, imitating Mikey Day. “I’m metal as hell, babe.”

You couldn’t help but laugh. It was ridiculous. Utterly ridiculous. You looked up at him, watching a playful grin meet his lips.

“Oh, yeah, babe,” you played along, still wiping your tears. “You’re sooooo hot, babe.”

Eddie nearly suffocated you with another hug, rapidly kissing the top of your head. You couldn’t help but giggle again, feeling some weight lifting off of you. For the first time, you had someone in your life who was blocking out the noise. 

“You know, the jokes aren’t even funny,” he said. “I don’t know why they’re making fun of a right-handed guitar. Jimi Hendrix had one and that guy’s a legend.”

“I think the point was to make you look dumb by playing it upside down.”

“Mmmm, I don’t think so, babe,” he teased. “I’m, like, sooooo smart.”

“You’re soooo right, babe.” “Okay, I’m cutting us off. I just know we won’t stop talking like this.”

The laughter died out, silence ensuing. Eddie was fiddling with your bracelets, his touch settling the storm in your stomach.

“Why did you walk over to that girl?”

You thought about her, Caroline, and how she was the only one outside to ask if you were okay. All she wanted was to give you bracelets. Had been keeping them with her just in case she ever saw you. Fuck, if that wasn’t one of the most shocking things you’d ever heard from a fan. It was kind. And when she did see you, she cared more about how you were feeling. 

“She asked me why I was crying,” you said. “She actually cared. It meant something to me.”

“You really love the fans, don’t you?”

You nodded. “Yeah, I do.”

The night seemed to settle into comfortable silliness, ending with pints of Ben & Jerry’s and the start of another TV show for you two to binge. You settled into his side with fuzzy socks and old pajamas from before all of the bullshit ensued. They were probably ten years old, from the thrift store down the street from your childhood home. The hand-me-downs that never seemed to get holes, the ones that always seemed to save you from the brink of madness.

Eddie was donning a similar outfit, just with a few holes here and there. Baseball tee with a logo for his old D&D group, Hellfire Club, back in high school. Some of the lines were starting to crack, the red fading into something nearly blood orange.

It was comforting to know that Eddie was able to shrug it all off. That he was able to guide you through this fear and loathing. But some part of you wondered how long that could last. All the heat and dismissal and scrutiny and humiliation. All the assumptions and poking. 

Because if he wanted to do this, if he was in it for the long haul, this was going to be how it was for the rest of your careers, for the rest of your lives. He wasn’t going to be able to shrug everything off. What happens when he’s poked at? When he’s the one in your shoes?

And as you laid there at 2am with Eddie fast asleep next to you, you were starting to wonder about yourself. Because if you wanted to do this, if you wanted to follow wherever he led, you were going to have to endure. Watching him sleeping soundly, you couldn’t help but wonder how long you could last.

#Eddie munson #Eddie Munson x reader #Eddie Munson x you #eddie munson fanfic #eddie munson angst #modern!eddie munson #modern!eddie x reader #Eddie Munson x female reader #boyfriend!eddie munson

[vypridae]

For the character ask thing (if you're still doing it) how about Alastor and Angel Dust! Or maybe Husk if you're up to it?

ABSO FUCKING YES

(under cut)

alastor

my first impression

alastor showed up and i immediately went oh i love him

my impression now

STILL LOVE HIM SO SO SOOO MUCH . MY SILLY SCRUNGLIE !!!

favorite thing about that character

am i ALLOWED to say everything . (one of my favorite things is that hes canonically aroace, win for the aroace community congrats you guys !!!!! :D!!!!)

least favorite thing

it DIRECTLY conflicts with what i said before HABAHSHAJK but the fact that the fandom says its immediately aphobia to ship alastor with literally anyone because hes canonically aroace ... i love aroace people i have several ace friends + i think one or two aroace friends and also hes fictional and also l + ratio + fuck you i do what i want /j

favorite line/scene

I HAVE SO MANY OH MY GOD ... we'll just go with two from ep 8

+ "what just happened? ...ffffffuck."

+ "you lack discipline, control, and worse? ɎꝊɄ'ꞦɆ ꞨŁꝊꝐꝐɎ."

favorite interaction that character has with another

every single time he interacts with lucifer KILLS me, especially the uh "i guess that's why charlie called it the HAZBIN HOTEL, ha ha ha!" "HA, HA, HA! it was actually my idea." "HAHAHA, WELL ITS NOT VERY CLEVER!" "HA HA! fuck you."

a character that i wish that character would interact with more

ANGEEEELLLL DUST ANGEL DUST ANGEL DUUUUST ANGELDUST AAAANGEEEEL DUUUUST PLEASE

another character from another fandom that reminds me of that character

bill cipher (i have never seen gravity falls) (i've seen so many people compare these two though)

a headcanon about that character

demigray-aroace!!! also he is ungodly at cooking. ALSO HE HAS A TAIL FUCK YOU

a song that reminds of that character

i dont actually think i have one that isnt like... one of the in series songs . you have to understand i've listened to non hazbin-related songs like twice in the past month

an unpopular opinion about that character

hes fictional, thus you can ship him and make fanart of whatever with him, BECAUSE HE IS FICTIONAL. its like when you ship a lesbian and a gay character, its fine because yk what? they arent real! focus on the ACTUAL aphobia rather than someone (who has several ace + aroace friends) who just wants to have a little fun with a fictional deer man

favorite picture

whoever animated this scene .. i need .... mo re ......

angel dust

my first impression

his first lines in the pilot were him being an absolute dickhead and i immediately fell in love

my impression now

HES EVEN FUNNIER

favorite thing about that character

honestly his accent?? his voice ?? blake roman does such a good job at portraying him as a character oaugh . also just like, how much he genuinely cares for everyone in the hotel ogoguouguough

least favorite thing

if i say huskerdust as a ship how much hate do you think i'll get. ITS NOT A BAD SHIP!!! it just isnt my cup of tea, ive never been a huskerdust fan and so most huskerdust scenes in the show make me go eehhh . BUT ITS NOT BAD!! and i know itll end up being canon so ive gotten used to it

favorite line/scene

"this body was MADE to be exploited! i got the arms! i got the stamina! i got the legs, i got the lung capacity, HOHO, I GOT THE LEGS!! the gag reflex, the holes, the chest fluff that everyone thinks are tits..."

favorite interaction that character has with another

ironically . loser, baby was one of my by far favorite interactions angel has had with a character

a character that i wish that character would interact with more

ALASTORRRR

another character from another fandom that reminds me of that character

its hard to actually think of one for angel because hes such a . hes such a guy AHABASHBA i guess i would have to say jax from tadc tho, specifically because they used to share a va back when michael kovach was angel's voice actor + tall lanky silly dudes

a headcanon about that character

INTERSEX ANGEL DUUUUUUST INTERSEX ANGEL DUST EVERYONE GIVE IT UP FOR INTERSEX ANGEL DUST

a song that reminds of that character

this is love by uuuuh air traffic controller!!! it, as saddening as it is to say this, makes me think of his "relationship" with valentino

an unpopular opinion about that character

If I Say I Do Not Like HuskerDust That Will Get Me Hate But That Is My Unpopular Opinion

favorite picture

once again ironically its this scene, its just so goddamn pretty and the song is really good and the lighting just abahbahah

husk

my first impression

CAT WITH WINGS!!!

my impression now

SILLY GUY !!! I LOVE HIM !!! hes so funny i love him

favorite thing about that character

the fact that he was an OVERLORD??? oh my GOD??

least favorite thing

again... if i say... huskerdust ... LIKE ITS NOT EVEN A BAD SHIP I SAID THAT ALREADY ITS JUST NOT MY FAVORITE AND IHGUGHFG !!! I LOVE BOTH CHARACTERS AS THEY ARE I JUST CANNOT FORCE MYSELF TO LIKE THE SHIP

favorite line/scene

from the pilot "you think you can buy me with a wink and some cheap booze!? well you can!", and also "I SWEAR TO FUCK IF YOU SAY DICKS!!!" from ep 3 AJAASJHASJHA

favorite interaction that character has with another

from ep 8 "THESE FUCKIN' ANGELS WON'T STOP COMIN'!" "HA!" "...okay, i walked right into that one"

a character that i wish that character would interact with more

i want to see husk and alastor more, like as a one-on-one duo. one of the only scenes we got with them was when alastor was revealed to be in some sort of deal or contract too, and he scared husk shitless (poor husk), but i'm so interested to see stuff outside of that . i want to see more interactions with them that aren't al threatening the shit out of husk BAHABHASB

another character from another fandom that reminds me of that character

the one guy from the princess and the frog because they share a va i think

a headcanon about that character

i love love lvoe the idea that husk can do like bar tricks?? like make drinks in fun silly ways because hes a Bartender and he used to be the gambling overlord so he probably learned casino tricks n stuff

a song that reminds of that character

as with most of these answers, i Do Not Have One

an unpopular opinion about that character

BASED ON MY PREVIOUS ANSWERS FOR THIS SORT OF THING I'M SURE YOU KNOW WHAT I WANT TO SAY. i literally do not have any unpopular opinions except i can't force myself to enjoy huskerdust i am so fucking sorry it's so valid and everyone who ships it is valid i just can't AJAHJKASH

favorite picture

THIS SCENE PLAYS IN MY HEAD DAILY ITS SO FUCKING FUNNY, also husk NOT hating an (albeit accidental) sex joke is fucking hilarious to me

#xanbox #hazbin hotel #alastor #angel dust #husk #im not tagging anything else i dont think just cuz bahabhabah