#the hanged man.. surrender sacrifice etc etc

[emojackolantern]

UPDATE I AM STILL THINKING ABOUT THE POTENTIAL DAN AND PHIL TAROT AND @slitsfordan ASKED FOR MY RANT ON IT SO HERE ARE MY THOUGHTS ON CARD SYMBOLISM AS IT RELATES TO DIP AND PIP !!

The Fool - PINOF, particularly PINOF 1. the fool is about new beginnings, pinof 1 is the origin of dnp.

The Magician - superamazingproject. the intro to their collaborative content. the dream they put out into the universe. the seed they planted hoping something would come of it.

The High Priestess - BBC Radio 1. they didn't know when it happened how much would come out of it, they just knew they had to do it. that's intuition baby. that being said whoever said sister daniel you're funny as fuck.

The Empress - DAPG. the empress is about fertility and creation, mf they birthed a whole new channel.

The Emperor - DAPC. to me, if the empress is about birthing new ideas, the emperor is about raising them and giving them structure by which to grow. DAPC is just another in the saga of their collaboration, at this point.

The Hierophant - TABINOF. the hierophant is about tradition and also represents the teacher/student archetype. i think of them kind of like profits bringing the word to the people for the first time lol.

The Lovers - TATINOF. think of any picture of them together on tour and tell me im wrong.

The Chariot - DAPGO. im ngl this one is kind of a space filler for chronology's sake, but them writing a second book was definitely a choice they made that furthered their joint image. they willed that into existence.

Strength - Interactive Introverts. Strength speaks on the bravery and fortitude needed to overcome obstacles. Dan particularly has spoken at length about how this tour was hard for him.

The Hermit - Dan's hiatus.

The Wheel of Fortune - The wheel of fortune is about inevitability of change and the cyclical nature of life. I think this one might be too vague for a direct comparison to a specific event? That being said if you can think of an example of a time they were faced with the inevitability of change I am all ears. Either way drawing this card in line with the rws but with dnp motifs would be fun as fuck

Justice - Justice is about karma, about getting back what you gave. I think of their dynamic as a duo, how they give to each other and get the same energy back. I think generally this card would be more negative, talk about literal justice, but I don't think that applies to them.

The Hanged Man - The hanged man is about sacrifice and surrender. I already said this in previous posts but to me this is Phil— going back in the closet for Dan, staying in London while he went on tour, etc. it's the willingness to let things change how they will because you have faith that no matter how much they change they'll always be a little the same.

Death - the changes themselves. sister daniel is a really good representative of this to me, and of the ways dan- but both of them really- have learned to be more comfortable both with themselves and with us as an audience. it's a change for the better.

Temperance - temperance is about balance, to me the most obvious example is their work/life balance. the value they place on their privacy. the taking weeks off after particularly long stints of work. it's doing what you have to do to make sure this work continues to be fulfilling.

The Devil - Dan and Phil Crafts - Slime (duh lol)

I WILL UPDATE THESE LATER BC IM BUSY BUT ALSO IF YOU HAVE SUGGESTIONS I AM OPEN TO THEM:

The Tower - upheaval

The Star - hope for the future

The Moon - the unconscious

The Sun - success over the unconscious

Judgement - review

The World - conclusion

#dnp #dan and phil #daniel howell #phil lester #amazingphil #phan #danandphilcrafts #dapc

[pistolenprinz]

RDR2 CHARACTERS AS THE MAJOR ARCANA (PT. 1 OF MANY)

I've been really digging tarot lately, and finding a lot of comfort/joy indulging in the universe's energies, so I figured I would try my hand at assigning each of the main gang (with some exceptions) to one of the major arcana, as well as giving my personal interpretations of how it fits. Note: For this post, I've dipped into my own deck (Raven Rogue's Tarotorial), and will be pulling the imagery-specific elements from them. I will cite things as such "Insert text here [Source Name]." Regardless, the actual applications to the plotlines and characters is my own and is my opinion. To cut down on the length of these posts, I've privately paired up gang members that I either think provide a good foil for one another, or those that I just think pair well in terms of discussion. This section will be copy-pasted across all the posts in this series for sake of clarity.

ARTHUR MORGAN - THE HANGED MAN

The Hanged Man suggests ultimate surrender or suspension in time. Depicting a person hanging upside-down by their foot from the living world tree, the person is hanging by their own free will [Tarotorial; Card Imagery].

There are two choices that Arthur can make in the grand scheme of things: Try to right his wrongs, or lean into them and make them the problems of those around him. His loyalty to the Van der Linde gang is unquestionable, but it is what he chooses to do with that loyalty, and his power as one of the longest-standing members, that is important to his narrative. He can be a force for good, call out the harm his compatriots cause to themselves and those around him. He can also turn an eye to it all, and do solely what he needs to survive. To let his own greed fester and overcome him. Regardless of what ending is chosen, or what route Arthur takes (as that is something up to the player, at the end of the day), he undergoes a metamorphosis of undeniable measure. What it is he sacrifices, be it his morality or himself, it is something that others will not understand (the who seemingly shifting with the path chosen), and it is ultimately a path that he walks alone. A path that, at times, he expresses feels like he is either walking backward, or simply standing on as the world passes him by. He is the only one responsible for his actions, as we all are at the end of the day.

CHARLES SMITH - JUSTICE

The Justice card represents the cause and effects of action. Justice sits in a chair holding scales in their left hand, which implies intuition balancing logic. In their right hand is a double-edged sword, which is a symbol of impartiality [Tarotorial; Card Imagery].

Charles, to me, is such a push and pull character. One that is always seeking to do the right thing, all the while trying to balance the needs of the gang versus what he considers to be moral. He's newer to the gang, which only adds to the internal conflict and propels him toward someone like Arthur, as not only is Arthur a founding member, but he shares a similar moral scale to him usually (certain player actions aside). He, like Arthur, does try to be impartial. Likewise, he tries to see the best in the circumstances at hand, but like all scales, there are times when his morality outweighs that impartiality. The buffalo poachers, interactions with the Wapiti, choosing to side with Arthur in the end as he sees how selfishly motivated Dutch and Micah are, etc. He, like Justice, does sit in the background (at least in comparison to some of the others, on account of him being newer to the group's dynamic), but it is ultimately him who helps set the conclusion in motion. He makes a decision, weighing the pros and cons and trying to minimize the harm done to those he feels close with, and he sees it through.

#rdr2 #red dead redemption 2 #arthur morgan #charles smith #headcanon #characters as major arcana

[wtftarot]

PAC: The Hanged Man

Another of my favorites, The Hanged Man, is all about perspectives and sacrifices. Letting old shit go to bring in new shit. Surrendering your idea of how things should be to see them as they are. He brings to our attention what we need to cut out to move forward, where we need to break the mold to grow, etc. He follows the Justice card cutting through our bullshit so that we can let go of it and prepare for the rebirth that the Death card brings after. Where do you need to turn your perspective upside down? Let's fuck around and find out.

*edit tumblr ate the first group’s reading, sorry about that if I have time I’ll redo it

As always this reading is for entertainment purposes only and is not a substitute for professional advice in any capacity. Use common sense and don't be a dumbass.

You can pick the Dude's Head & Halo, His Foot & Noose or The Lil Squigle/Signature? and head to your reading.

random ass vibes: Drink some water, butterflies, chocolate chips, California, white animals? a polar bear? mountain biking, snow white, winter sports, hummingbirds.

random ass vibes: Drink some water, butterflies, chocolate chips, California, white animals? a polar bear? mountain biking, snow white, winter sports, hummingbirds.

random ass vibes: Drink some water, butterflies, chocolate chips, California, white animals? a polar bear? mountain biking, snow white, winter sports, hummingbirds.

random ass vibes: Drink some water, butterflies, chocolate chips, California, white animals? a polar bear? mountain biking, snow white, winter sports, hummingbirds.

bibliomancy answers: Watch and see what happens, finish something else first, Maybe

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Foot/Noose

So, it looks like y'all have tied your happiness to something or some idea that you have GOT to let go of. And you're being nudged into letting go of some things/ideas because they have to go, they're just making shit harder for you. I'm seeing that either way these things are going to leave or change and you can choose to let them go or have them taken away. To me the Hanged Man is like a mini self-induced Tower moment, one that we choose and kinda have a handle on. I think that's what you're being encouraged to do. It's like if you had a house that the floor was starting to fall apart. You can either go ahead and tear it out, replace it, and make it sturdier. Or you can put it off and put it off until it's literally collapsing under you. For some of you, this could be an actual physical thing where you need to like fix some shit you've been putting off. For most though, I think this is about ideas or perspectives you have that are not serving you. Those ideas/perspectives will be different for all y'all but what the cards are talking about is looking toward others to tell you what you want. Or looking towards another person to give your life meaning. You could be someone who others rely on a lot and not really know who you are outside of what others need you to be. You could be someone who really internalized the idea that romantic relationships are the ones that really matter and feel kinda lost when you don't have one. You may be someone who had a lot of strict expectations placed on them and doesn't really know what you want. (not judging, we all deal with something like this at one point or another) The main thing you're being asked to let go of or rethink is how you view yourself in the context of others. If you feel really lost or like you don't know what to do when there's no one around you or feel like you're just waiting on someone to come around, that can be a good sign that you've defined yourself by others and don't know what you want on your own. There is a deep fear of being alone or embracing yourself here. So, maybe it's less like tearing out the floor to fix it and more like unearthing parts of yourself like the ruins of a lost city. The Hanged Man is here telling you it's time to uncover who you are underneath all of the things others want/need you to be. There's a real hopeful energy to this group. Excited like going on a treasure hunt. I'm hearing that you will be given a map of sorts to help you navigate this, through signs or omens. Also, follow whatever makes you feel like you're on a treasure hunt, like that sort of curious exploration and excitement you feel in your gut.

random ass vibes: owls, earth, 55, pirates, foxes, x marks the spot, 999, praying mantis, lilies.

bibliomancy answers: Of course, Gentle persistence will pay off, It could be extraordinary.

if you like this reading and would like to support me and my readings you can tip me with the lil tip button at the bottom of this post. Thanks!

Lil Squigel/ Signature?

Well, y'all may need to drink some water or go for a swim cause one of the cards almost flew into my drink while I was shuffling. Y'all are my group who avoid connecting or relying on others, aren't ya? Well, this is gonna be a fun one, for the guides. The energy of this reading is SUPER mischievous (in a nice way, don't worry) But I'm getting ahead of myself. Y'all seem to think you can move through life totally self-reliant and on your own. There's a lot here about thinking being independent means never relying on anyone for anything ever. When in reality it's the opposite, people who can comfortably ask for help and receive support are MUCH less likely to end up in codependent relationships than people who avoid connections altogether. I'm seeing that some of you may be trying to build something or achieve something, and you know it would be easier if you would ask for help/advice but you're simply refusing. Now, the reason this energy is so mischievous is cause I'm seeing that because you're so damn stubborn about this, your guides are planning to knock some sense into you via rom-com esc hijinks. It's not going to be a romantic thing for all of you, that's just the tone of this. For some of you, it will be to lead you to people who will nudge your career along. For others, it'll be friendships. I'm even seeing new pets coming for some of you. The way it happens may not be that enjoyable for you, but it will be something you look back on and laugh about. I mean how many storylines are there that have the main character having a shit day that leads them to find the person of their dreams? The Hanged Man is here asking you to let go of that resistance you have around connections with others. Your guides can toss every cliche in the book at you to get you to let people in but it's still your choice. I think the reason you're here reading this is to sorta warm you up to the idea and give you a heads up. Like hey, we're going to be bringing people to your doorstep but you have to actually open the door and let them in. Figuratively, I don't recommend letting total strangers who show up unannounced into your house. You can let this happen or fight it, it’s up to you but you won’t have to force. You can't live life completely alone, sweetheart. And if you find people coming into your life in goofy ways soon, they may be important.

random ass vibes: pumpkins, lanterns, dogs, zombies, scooby-doo, coffee shops, pickles, the moon,

bibliomancy answers: you'll need to take initiative, it may be difficult but you'll find value in it, yes

if you like this reading and would like to support me and my readings you can tip me with the lil tip button at the bottom of this post. Thanks!

#pac reading #pick a photo #tarot readings #free tarot #tarot reading #tarot cards #pick a card reading #pick a card #divination #wtftarot #tarot #tarot community #pick a pile #free tarot reading #pick a picture #tarotblr

[hearthandheathenry]

Hey love! I saw that you're doing free reading.

Can I ask what is going in my fs's life right now? Like in love/career/etc. If it isn't much of a hassle?

Thanks in advance!

Hey there! I'll be honest, I find it weird when people want to know what's happening in their future spouse's lives, because I think they should be focused more on themselves and their own life currently, and I dont know if I would do this kind of reading again. I just dont see the merit in seeing a glimpse into someone's life you are not involved with yet, especially if it causes concern and anxiety, and I feel like that energy can be put elsewhere on your journey, like focusing on oneself and growth. But to each their own, and I will do it this time!

The card that jumped out of my deck was the Hanged Man.

Literal meaning: This card depicts a man hanging upside down from a beam, legs crossed. He has reached an impasse: no further movement is possible for the time being. The card represents sacrifice and facing short-term losses to ensure long-term gains. The Fool must learn patience and how to act strategically to achieve the results he wants. An immediate advantage must be given up, but will eventually be replaced with a much better opportunity."

It also represents patience, waiting, surrender, sacrifice, wisdom, foresight, planning, strategy, and eventual gain.

Personal interpretation: Your future spouse is currently going through a tough time and have reached an impasse that they are dealing with. They may have to give up something in order to achieve their ultimate goals, or shift their strategy. They will have to be patient. They are currently going through a tough time, but will get through it.

#answered asks

[suispiria]

rin and kitay! best friends in media! committing atrocities but drawing the line at hurting each other!

me and my husband by mitski, planet of love by richard siken, wuthering heights dir. andrea arnold, catalog of unabashed gratitude ross gay, on earth we are briefly gorgeous by ocean vuong, epithalamium by louise glück, andrea dworkin, cheryl strayed, my mother dwindles by margaret atwood, my sister the serial killer by oyinkan braithwaite, you’re my person by holly warburton, natalie diaz, the sea by john banville, tarot by nicolas bruno, on the beach at night alone dir. hong sang-soo, do you want to die together by stars

#the hanged man.. surrender sacrifice etc etc #tpw #where’s katelyn of pinterestinfluencer fame 🧃🪆

[snowwhite-andtheknight]

Announcing: Obiyuki Week 2021

Welcome back one and all to our sixth annual Obiyuki Week! Our theme this year is:

The Tarot

Each day will have two sets of prompts for participants to choose from: either the traditional cartomancy meaning, or its reversal-- the meaning it has when it is revealed upside down in a reading. All of these are guidelines meant to inspire works, so do not feel as if you are restricted to only the card interpretations that are given!

 Day 1: The Fool

Upright: Beginnings, Innocence, Fearlessness

Reversed: Recklessness, Folly, Risk

Day 2: Death

Upright: Change, Ending, Release

Reversed: Refusal to Change, Unfulfillment, Stagnation

Day 3: Strength

Upright: Compassion, Courage, Self-Control

Reversed: Weakness, Doubt, Discord

Day 4: The Lovers (Free Day)

Upright: Love, Choices, Opposites

Reversed: Failure, Unrequitedness, Breaking Up

Day 5: The Hanged Man

Upright: Wisdom, Surrender, Sacrifice,

Reversed: Indecision, Selfishness, Stalling

Day 6: The Tower

Upright: Chaos, Deception, Ruin

Reversed: Revolution, Rebuilding, Metamorphosis

Day 7: Wheel of Fortune

Upright: Destiny, Success, Fortune

Reversed: Misfortune, Downturn, Fated for Failure

Dates: September 19th-25th Tag: #obiyukiweek21

[Guidelines beneath cut]

Guidelines:

All work must be your own (eg. no plagiarizing other sources, tracing, pose stealing, etc)

The main pairing is Obi x Shirayuki

Must follow the day’s prompt, however loosely

Must be tagged #obiyukiweek21 within the first five tags

With Tumblr’s tagging system on the fritz, please also @ snowwhite-andtheknight in your entry

Please label with the day’s number!

All NSFW content must be tagged and under a Read More!

You may submit multiple entries for each day!

Be nice

Play hard

#obiyuki #Obi x Shirayuki #shiraobi #Akagami no Shirayukihime #snow white with the red hair #obiyukiweek21 #fandom event week

[inkyquince]

I personally imagine the various Arcana to sound somewhat similar to their human protege, just cause like, the idea is to that they are them reincarnated or something right? I imagine the devil to sound like Lucio but with more gravel and purrs to his words. And the Hermit to sound nearly identical to Muriel, but with more of a rumble cause big bear chest. The Hanged Man would have the same dips and lilts to his voice that Julian does, etc

I always liked to imagine that they didn't even really talk. Their voice just appears in ya head and they chat. Also, don't do the devil like that, you know that lucio has that posh git accent, and that goat has a low rumbly voice. Muriel I can see it, and Hanged Man, but I always thought that it was just a narrative thing. Julian's path coincides with the hanged man major arcana, because that's the path he's on. Literally and what the hanged man tarot represents. It suggests ultimate surrender, sacrifice, or being suspended in time and that's what happens. Upright means Breaking old patterns and letting go, which is what Julian does. Reversed means missing an opportunity, not letting go, which is always what happens in the bad end. Same for all the other characters, the Arcana that coincides most with the journey will pop up. It's why its one of my favourite romance games, just cuz narratively it fucks. So yeah, don't believe its cuz its their protégé or reincarnated or sumn.

#murielsimp #i got all writing nerd on ya im sorry

[themightycourtjester]

Part 1 of 22 for my Major Arcana Tarot project that I’m working on! I plan on using main characters, protags and villians from parts 1-6 for this series!

This is the first time I’ve ever drawn Iggy, and I’m very happy that he at least resembles a dog.

Of course for the Crusaders, I plan on keeping their stand and tarot card relations(jotaro&the star, kakyoin&hierophant, Joseph&Hermit, etc.) however, with everyone else, I am trying to match their personalities and characteristics with the card associations. For example, Bruno will be the character for the hanged man due to its definition of the ultimate surrender, sacrifice, or being suspended in time. I’m making this connection due to how (PART 5 SPOILERS) after bringing Trish to Diavolo, Bruno is faced with the reality of what the boss really wants to do to his daughter. So, Bruno then makes the decision to betray the boss and sacrifice himself and his safety in the process, and still living on the borrowed time that Giorno had given to him after being “healed”. Hence, the being suspended in time, Bruno is technically already dead and gone, but his soul is still clinging to what borrowed time in his body that he was given.

I’ve put a *ton* of thought into this.

#fan art #jojo no kimyou na bouken #jjba #jojo fanart #art #dialeonesys #jojo #stardust crusaders #jjba part 3 #iggy the fool #iggy jojo #sistema art

[helianthus-tarot]

Hi again, J! I’m curious to know like why do u think The Hanged Man as “divine intervention“?

The Hanged Man and divine intervention

The Hanged Man is commonly interpreted as surrender, stagnation, letting go, suspension, waiting for the right time, sacrifice. It can also be associated with spiritual enlightenment and perspective change. The card's ruling planet is Neptune, which is often associated with spirituality, mysticism and things that are subtle.

The common interpretation of The Hanged Man is that he is there willingly, because of how calm he seems and the fact that he looks like he can unbind himself any time. I do use this interpretation in some readings. However, I usually interpret The Hanged Man as someone who was hanged unwillingly, he has to stay there until he is let go and while waiting for that, he should learn how to be at peace with his situation. I see his serene expression as the card's advice.

Because tell me, how many people actually like to let go? How many people actually like to surrender and change their mind/attitude/etc? How often do people actually intentionally seek to do these things? In my experience, not many, not often. Not until they are put in a position where they have to do it. I've seen more people struggling with those things than not. In my actual readings, the card often comes up to signify a time period when my querent has to pause/sacrifice despite them wanting something else, or as advice for my querent to change how they look at their issue.

That's why I associate it with divine intervention, it's like the Universe is asking you to pause, surrender, etc for whatever reason. This is also why I see his serene expression as the card's advice, because when you get The Hanged Man, the only thing you can do to make your situation better is to change your perspective/attitude about where you are currently in life and what you are dealing with. And of course, to wait until it's time to move.

#this isn't about personality reading #personality reading is a bit different btw #asks #tarot asks

[reachexceedinggrasp]

So the majority of the shows I’ve seen lately can be charitably described as ‘light entertainment’, including the ones with dark elements or more weighty, ponderous plots. They might be entertaining or interesting, they just... don’t stand up to scrutiny. Turn your brain off because this isn’t that carefully or skilfully made and you’ll only be annoyed if you start thinking about it as a whole. Including the last couple 'tragic’ historical dramas I’ve watched, which were not effective tragedy for that very reason. If you’re going to kill off the main cast, you have to earn it, and overwhelmingly writers don’t. Anyway, I’ve been getting despondent about whether stories which actually hang together and form a coherent narrative unit with consistent themes are the exception rather than the rule.

(And I feel like that should be a pretty low standard to meet, it’s sort of Step 1 of ‘being a story’: be about something! Communicate something, no matter how basic it is. Dead simple stories with rock basic messages can be revelatory! Just do it well!)

I’ve seen very little genuinely focussed or meaningful storytelling in my ventures for what feels like a long time. Basically, I can kind of count on one hand the number of films or dramas or whathaveyou I’ve seen from the last few years where it felt like the filmmakers were in complete control of their story and everything in it was purposeful and intentional. Most things have felt slapdash or shallow or fleeting. Story elements and character choices come out of nowhere just to derail already concluded arcs and fill screen time with empty repetitious drama, not to serve a meaningful narrative purpose. I would be watching with zero confidence anything in particular was going anywhere or that the writers knew where that should be. It’s just throwing shit at the wall, fly-by-the-seat-of-your-pants type writing all the time and it fucking shows.

But then I watched Money Flower.

Money Flower is different. Money Flower is towering head and shoulders above every modern drama I’ve ever seen. Titanically good writing which rises above its genre and makes conventions seem radically new and fresh not by reinventing them or deconstructing them, but by playing them straight, taking them seriously, and committing 1000%. This is all your familiar rich family tropes but with masterpiece execution, infused with consequence and meaning because they’re all driven by the psychology of complex three-dimensional characters. So many moving pieces and none of them are random or unmotivated. Just... GOOD WRITING. And I want to make the point that it is this wherein art lives. The difference between a rank Lifetime movie and Romeo and Juliet is not novelty or tropes or plot twists- it’s execution.

This show is such a perfect example that it is not ‘mere events’ (aka plot) or novelty or shock value or cool ideas which separates something brilliant and timeless from forgettable schlock; it is solely and entirely execution. It’s writing itself, if you know what I mean. You can describe many of Shakespeare’s tragedies and history plays as soap opera plots. What makes Macbeth a deathless masterwork and Death Wish Hollywood wank isn’t a fundamental difference in subject or genre. It’s Shakespeare’s characterisation and purposeful storytelling. It’s the poetry of the dialogue. It’s the craft of writing. Most of Shakespeare’s plots are based on existing stories or on historical events and that has never mattered because novelty is not an inherent good or of any inherent artistic value.

Like, this is the problem with storytelling right now blah blah GOT, shitty endings everywhere etc. because power over the audience (can’t let anyone guess the plot, looking ‘clever’ with meaningless callbacks) and novelty are valued over narrative structure or things making sense or emotional verisimilitude. We have so many writers thinking being ‘shocking’ is all it takes to be a genius. It’s easy to be shocking if your story makes no goddamn sense because things that don’t make sense are literally unpredictable. Not in a good way, though. A great twist or sudden swerve needs to be unexpected but inevitable in hindsight or it does not work. I should be able to rewatch your thing and think ‘oh, of course! you can see it was [x] all along!’

We have so many popular writers now who are so shallow they don’t think anything needs to make sense on a character or emotional level. They don’t think their story has to be about anything. Substance is irrelevant as long as the surface is flashy enough. That has no staying power, you can only watch it once and you will forget about it quickly.

However, if you have ever wanted to experience the constant heightened stakes and High Drama of a soap opera without being annoyed at how ridiculous it all is and while actually giving a shit about the characters because they feel like real human beings, if you’ve wanted to feel repercussions when characters make choices, and get the emotional payoff that is the entire point of drama- now you can. Watch Money Flower. And let me tell you, it is fucking riveting. This show is mostly made up of people sitting in rooms talking and yet it is heart-pounding excitement nearly every episode. It is profoundly traditional and by the book while being totally fresh. It’s the most engrossing and satisfying artistic experience I’ve had in a long time.

Like, THE TENSION, THE DRAMA, THE REVEALS!!! You can, in fact, spend most of 24+ hours on the edge of your seat about family problems and business mergers. It seems unlikely, but that is the power of this series, it creates insanely high stakes and mesmerising suspense out of the most commonplace ingredients. Familiar plot elements become brand new and surprising under the deftness and tightness of this narrative. The plot itself is certainly 100% melodrama but it never feels like a soap opera and is never ever soapy in in a pejorative sense because it handles its classic tropes with such maturity and nuance that it's like you've never seen them before. The writing is incredible.

It is on an entirely different level than the vast majority of dramas, with a total self-assurance that keeps the pacing relentless yet unhurried- taking its time to let the impact of events be felt, the narrative always knowing exactly where it’s going and how to get there. The characters are all multi-faceted and unpredictable without ever being incoherent, their motives and goals always being gradually uncovered in more detail that only makes the storytelling and characterisation even tighter, even richer. The twists and cliffhangers are always mind-blowing but always earned, never cheap or nonsensical, and I can't remember ever thinking that about another show. (There’s literally one exception towards the very end where something a bit random happens for reasons of pure symbolism- it’s a misstep imo but it’s minor in the scheme of things)

Every time I started to doubt the writing, started to think ‘oh no, they’re going off the rails’, they showed me I was wrong and they were in total control. The only 'problem' with the show is that the drama is also profoundly painful to watch unfold, particularly in the beginning, because it's a story where everyone makes terrible life choices and moral corruption is everywhere. It's hypnotic though, like a car crash. If you can handle something dark, insidious, cerebral, and character-driven there is nothing I've seen in the same vein that can approach its brilliance. It’s like The Magnificent Ambersons as a slick modern revenge drama. There is also (PRECIOUSLY!!) a core of stunning romanticism around which all the horrors revolve and that saves it from becoming hideous or cynical. There is a chance for redemption and a new beginning after all, in spite of all appearances.

The ending has apparently been controversial, and it is definitely not quite as climatic as you would have expected given how powerfully climatic almost every regular episode is, but it's a good ending. There isn't full closure, they don't provide final resolution in a bow, but to me it's an ending about hope. It suggests optimism for our characters and I was satisfied with that. It's extremely rare for a 'revenge story’ to allow this kind of room for healing and it can do that because, imo, we discover in the end that it wasn't ultimately vengeance in Pil Joo’s heart. He has not become a tragic hero who will be consumed by the cannibalistic darkness of revenge, his quest was for justice. He teeters on the edge of the abyss but he avoided falling in; he didn't sell his soul, at least not irrevocably.

He is nonetheless a very tragic figure and an anti-hero, but despite having dedicated his life to bringing down the Jang cabal, it’s not that he’ll stop at nothing. He will make any personal sacrifice no matter how desolate, he lives as a mere husk of a man, and he facilitates enormous emotional harm to others in service of his goals, but he has ethical hard lines he never considers crossing. His sense of decency and compassion is never extinguished; he does care about the collateral damage he is causing even when making justifications for it. It’s important to him to give people as much agency as possible in their choices, to mitigate the damage done by his schemes as much as he can. To try to prevent harm coming to undeserving bystanders. Not that this makes it okay that he uses people, which he does, but the point is he never completely surrenders his moral compass to avarice. He’s never okay with burning down the world or ruining innocent lives just to get to his target.

Pil Joo is less a vigilante and more an avenging angel, he wants justice more than retribution. He wants fairness and a better, safer world where what has happened to his family won’t happen again. The reason this story never becomes Sweeney Todd (aka: a full on tragedy where we see the inevitable outcome of lust for revenge) and the reason he can survive twenty years spent pursuing someone’s downfall is exactly that principle. Searching for retribution would have destroyed him, he would have become the very thing he hated, but instead he goes as far as necessary to publicly expose the Jangs for what they are and then willingly submits to penance for his complicity in their crimes and tries to atone with the people he hurt along the way. Purged, he’s symbolically reborn and takes back his real name to maybe finally have a chance at the life he should have had. He moves on, content, a positive force. He’s capable of healing from the ordeal because he realises he doesn’t need retaliation, just seeing them stopped and facing consequences for their actions is enough.

The love story is a superbly poignant part of this. Their love is the ‘victim’ of his revenge and it will forever be impacted by it, but it’s not something that can be killed, so there’s still hope. Mo Hyeon’s bookending rescues of Pil Joo from death mean first that he has a purpose he must fulfil and then the second time that he has freedom to finally live as himself, for himself. There’s a future. And maybe they can be together there. I’m emo about it.

Anyway, if there was the slightest doubt about me becoming a long-term Jang Hyuk fangirl, it’s been put to rest. This performance is easily one of the best I’ve ever seen, period. No contest it’s the best I’ve seen in a tv drama. It’s also the most subtle and masterful turn he's delivered in his whole career. He's so restrained, but he is giving absolutely everything; he has total control over every microexpression, every gesture, every molecule in his body. There is so much simmering under his surface, so much going on in his eyes; the layers and depths are endless. The intensity and sharp intellectual focus he brings to the character is breathtaking. Everyone else is doing amazing work too, but he is almost constantly on screen and has this spectacular command of such a sprawling story, such a complex character, and he makes it look effortless. All artifice has melted away. The fact that being so tightly contained is in stark contrast to the bombastic element in many of his other roles renders its delicate precision even more startlingly impressive. I thought he was a great actor before, but I didn’t fully appreciate what he was capable of until Pil Joo.

#money flower #kdrama #writing #jang hyuk #long post #I've written a bit before about revenge and how it will inevitably lead to tragedy #so I wouldn't without explanation even call MF a 'revenge drama' because it turns out it's a complicated yet beautiful 'hope' drama lmao #it's actually a 'romance' in the Shakespearean sense #like the Winter's Tale #I guess we just call that 'tragicomedy' now but I don't find that word very helpful or descriptive #I don't think anyone actually know what you mean when you say that #anyway the first writing that is every bit as good as the production/acting side I've seen in what feels like forever #I just feel like everything is great characters in a mess of a story or brilliant performances elevating a bad script or good start-bad end #like no one knows what they're doing any more or why #but this show is incredible #it's only not perfect because the last four episodes are not up to what you'd expect for the rest but they are still really good #just not perfect #the last episode has problems but they're not with the concept of the ending at all- the concept IS perfect #and apparently I'm the only one who thinks that lol #apparently a lot of people did not understand what was happening and some misread it as a dream sequence #(this is an insane take to me- it's really not confusing or ambiguous at all) #(bc God forbid the main character not die and have a chance to heal after his absolutely miserable life?) #but yeah it's the only time anything feels rushed or not quite smooth #and one major character's fate isn't as satisfying as it could be #but I felt like I was never going to see something as engrossing as this again for a while there #anyway anyway NEW OTP #I didn't even get into it because no one cares about my giant rant here but it's SO traditional while being VERY different idk #the romanticism was so unexpected in a show that seems like it's going to be intensely cynical- it's handled with such gravitas #romance with gravitas is PRICELESS to me #the best swerve ever is for a show to NOT be cynical when it seemed so dark- that's a plot twist I can get behind

[divinationcentral]

Pick-A-Card: Love & Romance What’s next?

Choose: Left to Right - 1, 2, 3. 

Reveal: 

#1. The Hanged Man - Sacrifice. Bonding. A strong bond, even if platonic; magic action against impediments and impotence. 

Right now you may be considering how you can break this barrier between you and another person. Likely there is something very important holding the two of you together... like say a relationship you’ve come to build over time. You may be friends with this person already, and you may not be certain how to move into a more favorable relationship with them, say, one where there is intimacy involved. 

You, yourself may be afraid of these intimate acts. Not because they’re scary, but because there is an element of how good you will perform in bed lets say, that kind of keeps you uncertain of moving towards that next step. I think if you need to, try and find a way to balance your desires with your respect for this person, and concern yourself with sex after the fact: in which you’ve already established a strong and committed partnership/relationship with them (so you are more comfortable being open about the subject matter). That way the intimate aspect of the relationship can be explored, later, together, with no shame attached to it. 

Continue doing what you are doing. You are building up to that moment. Right now it’s just a period of creating the atmosphere for it, if you will... 

You want to ask them. There is a right time and place, and you will come to recognize it with some patience. This person will surrender to you in a very intimate way, if you can savor the commitment at it’s finest: which is here in the present. And you can have that moment just a little while longer. 

#2. The Page of Pentacles - Arousal. The Magic of the Wine Goblet. Transgression leads to excitement, but neither one nor the other can last without some moderation. 

You may have to draw a line between “transgression” & “excitement” haha... A transgression is doing something that you’re not supposed to. Excitement is self explanatory... You may be doing something with someone that you find exciting, but isn’t your norm/ not your usual, or may even be a little frowned upon (like maybe you shouldn’t be having sex with this individual at all, but you want to? or be involved in some way). BUT, this could range from anything like: sex on the first date, to trying something new with an already established partnership (like: kinks, or just, different - could be kissing on the first date for all I know, lol, doesn’t have to be all that crude). 

Anyway... Whatever it is. I think it excites you to get to know someone new (or this side of someone is incredibly new to you). Maybe someone who isn’t your type. They stir up feelings within you that you may not understand all that well at this moment in time (which I admit, could cause confusion within you), but you do know it’s something like this: they desire you. That... for lack of a better word - excites you! It turns you on! 

Remember to distinguish between what is exciting you, vs. what it is that this person can actually offer you (and what is actually good for you). :) And base that comparison to what you are looking for in this partner (or a partner in general). Do they match up? And do you maybe just need to take it a little slow with them instead? 

It will help you achieve long term success with someone. Not just a moment of passion. (Unless that’s what you were gunning for lol - I don’t judge - I just don’t recommend it if you’re the I WANT A BOYFRIEND/GIRLFRIEND/LONG TERM PARTNERSHIP type, because you’re just gonna hurt yourself again, even if you happen to be the fuckboi reading this - and yes, I mean to use that as in all inclusive term). 

Have your priorities straight: what is this person bringing to the table. Do you want it? Would you like to go through with it? If it’s something you’ve done before, would you like to do it again? Is it a one time thing? Can you handle it? Is it going to satisfy you in the end? 

I feel like this pile is a variety bag hahaha, you have to pull from the bag of paper clippings and see what fortune you get. Maybe a lot of people chose this... Just know it doesn’t indicate something bad. It just means that you need to tone it down, whatever you are currently doing within your partnership. It’s driving somebody mad hahahahaha (that could be a good or a bad thing - you get to decide in the end). 

You may just be someone who’s very different, and they don’t know how to handle it. They don’t know how to handle you. “One minute you’re this way, one minute you’re that...” Well damn, catch up then lol. Anyway! 

You’ll have to decide how much longer you want to play this game, because in the end, it really is one or the other without some moderation to it.

Are you friends? Are you partners? Is she your girlfriend/boyfriend? Is it just sex? None of those answers are wrong, because I am not here to shame. 

That’s it. :) Have your priorities straight! In the end, it’s all about you baby, and what you want from it (what you stand to gain).  🌹

#3. Two of Swords - Inviting. The Magic of the Black Chicken. Empathy and understanding are born of promising the right things and then keeping one’s own promises. 

I think right now you may have to evaluate how much you are willing to give to a person you are dealing with. You can only truly fulfill someone’s wishes, if they are... kind of like your own. 

When we care about someone, we care because we understand what kind of love we wish to receive in that moment (say we are down, or we want to celebrate an achievement, etc)... so we are able to pay it forward, and then receive it in turn, because we’ve received this love in the past (it’s a form of reciprocity that knows compassion, compromise, understanding and forgiveness with one another). 

In love it’s much the same: we give what we can take (or even what we’ve learned to take). If you want to make a promise to someone, or make a commitment to them, make sure this is something you can and want to follow through with. Otherwise, you will be disingenuous, and that can truthfully hurt the person you claim to care for so much in this moment.  

Hold back. Think about what you are making promises with, and to whom. If it’s fair, and you are balanced - then this person just expects you to remain that way. 

Honest, sincere, helpful, and kind. Be that way. It’s who you are, no matter what stage of the relationship you are in. 

That said: if someone has recently promised you something, like say a commitment, you expect them to follow through with it. 

Even if it’s something like them saying they’re going to marry you, “boo you up,” lol... You expect this. See them follow through with it. Hold them to it. 

“Promising the right things” is also a deeper statement: you can’t just promise whatever thing to this person. There is something they care about, very clearly, and you need to know what that is. And vice-versa. This person can’t just promise you any little thing. They need to follow through with something that is actually important to you, something that matters to you. They can’t just make the statement that they will. 

If you value marriage - then it’s marriage that they need to be able to offer you. If it’s little random dates - then it is that. If it’s a promise ring - then it’s a promise ring. If it’s staying with you through thick and thin (say hardship in general) - then is that, and they can’t just flake when things get hard. That’s when it most is important to you. 

You also need to learn this about your partner. What is important to them? Have you made a promise recently? Keep it. Keep it if you care. 

#love reading #tarot #pick a card #love & romance #these are my messages :B

[yehet-me-up]

Into The Ancient Woods - Four

Pairing: fae!Jongin x lady knight!reader

Genre: Fantasy AU

Rating: PG13 - mentions of blood, gore, etc.

Word Count: 2,149

Moodboard (that I’m OBSESSED with) @gingersaysjump​ 

Summary: When your sister is stolen by the Fae King you set out on a quest to save her. But when you arrive in the Kingdom of the Fae, all is not as you thought, and in no time killing the king becomes the furthest thing from your mind.

A/N: I wanted soooooo badly to combine these drabbles into a oneshot but after a few weeks I realized that it’s either going to be a few fun drabbles or... basically a full book’s worth of a plot and there’s no happy middle. 😅So I picked out my favorite bits from the rest of what I wrote and here they are! 😄

One | Two | Three | Four

Too much has been sacrificed to turn back now.

A king needs his queen. The kingdom needs love and blood to begin again. New life to wipe the stains of death away from its’ surface like steam from a mirror. And to do that he needs you. No one else. He’s tried. 

Other fae women. Their drops of blood did nothing. 

Other mortal women. Their spilled blood had only appeased the curse for a short while. 

No, he thinks as he gently sets you on the plush bed, watching the light cascade over your face. No, it must be you. You’re his final hope. The one with the hair the color of fire and the spirit to match.

~~~~~~~

The cell is an opulent one, but it is a cage nonetheless. Now that he has you, he isn't willing to take any chances. The bed may be lavish and covered in blankets - red and gold brocade, warm against the chill that lingers everywhere in his kingdom. 

He wonders if you’ll scream at him again when you wake and he smiles at the thought. It’s been far too long since life flowed in this village and he craves the intensity.

His healer already attended to you, removing any damage his sharp and efficient magic did. Exhaustion is the only thing keeping you from consciousness now. He stifles his impatience and paces in front of your cell.

He has questions - hundreds of them, as he observes the gentle rise and fall of your chest. 

Who put the flowers in your hair - were they done with your own hand or by someone else’s? A lover, perhaps? 

How did you come upon the sword you carry? The mortal kings have long been dismissive of the women in their kingdom. Did you steal it?

Jongin longs to pry open your mind and heart and have a look to see just what kind of woman fate brought him. Decades and centuries of waiting for the prophesied one. Endless years of suffering, now brought to an end. If she accepts me. And this.

~~~~~~

It's midday when someone comes for you again. Unfortunately, it's the King himself. Handsome and devastating and evil.

Though you now know it would solve none of your problems, you still long for your sword to be able to drive it through his heart. If just for the satisfaction of having bested him.

'Would you like to go for a walk, kultaseni?'

You make a noise somewhere between a scream and a whine of confusion. 'Surely you are joking.'

He leans an arrogant shoulder against the frame of the door and smiles at you. 'I am not. You have seen your sister, alive and unharmed. I would like to speak with you and would prefer to do so without bars between us.'

'You're the one who put me here,' you counter. You grip the metal so tightly it bites into your palms.

His expression turns mournful, brows drawn together and his plump, red lips pouting. Irrationally you want to sink into the bottom one with your teeth and pull. Just to taste him. Just to hear him moan and know it was you who caused it. But then the light shifts and his expression is reserved and taunting once more and you swallow the thought.

'Fine. But if you try and harm me, I'll gouge your eyes out with my thumbs.'

He raises a brow and smiles at you, pleased by your comment. 'I'd expect nothing less.'

The castle and the village, in daytime, are disconcertingly similar to your own.

Children play in the town square, their laughter echoing off the cobblestones. Women and men walk to and fro down a path off the center square, carrying baskets of fruit and grain from the harvest. Soldiers stand guard at the palace gates. No wonder they were so cavalier, you think, their threat comes from within. Not from the world outside.

Jongin leads you towards the mountains that rise towards the south. The villagers nod as you pass, watching you with awe. You wonder if everyone has heard the tale. You can almost hear their silent pleas, asking you to be your savior. Would you not do the same, in their place?

Thankfully the path disappears into the trees and you and Jongin are alone once more. Here, he's quiet and contemplative, hands drawn behind his back. You've never seen a man more beautiful. Or more dangerous. His moods change faster than lightning and you do your best to keep up.

He runs a ringed finger along the branch of a thick tree. Its bark is twisted and old, fighting death as the tree reaches towards the sun. 'The forest was so beautiful, in my youth.'

Curiosity gets the better of you. 'How did it come to be cursed?'

~~~~~~~~~

The light through the branches falls on his face and suddenly you can imagine the boy he was in his youth. His amber eyes are shrewd and playful. You wonder what it was like when his smile was easy and unburdened, when he gave of himself willingly and joyfully. 

When his choices didn't carry the fate of an entire Kingdom behind them.

You feel your heart soften a fraction and pull back, afraid of being drawn in by him. Even if you understand the source of his actions, even if the women aren’t hurt - there’s still blood on his hands that will never come clean.

‘If you wanted me… if I’m the prophesied queen, why did you take my sister? Why not come for me directly?’

He pauses, a slight blush coming to his cheeks in the golden light. ‘Is it so wrong that I would want my future queen to be able to say goodbye to her family in some way? To the human world?’

‘So you’ll really let her go back? You meant it?’

He folds his hands behind his back, contemplating. 'I'm entirely honest. If you hold up your end of the bargain, I'll hold up mine.'

You watch him, through the trees he looks almost human. His skin is ice white, with none of the bright warmth you'd associate with living. But his features relax in nature, away from the harsh lines of the castle. He’s been just as much a prisoner of the curse as the village, as the woods. 

For long moments you both get lost in your thoughts. He pulls a flower from one of the trees and holds it between his fingers. You can only imagine what must occupy the mind of a king of an immortal land. If you make this choice, you will become like him. Trapped forever in this land, trapped forever in this body. Until you choose to die.

'Will it hurt?' you ask quietly.

He looks at you suddenly. 'Are you agreeing?'

His eyes are wide with hope and you imagine him much younger. Being forced to make a deadly choice to save his people. Wouldn't you do the same, in his place?

'Yes.' Your promise is a whisper. 'Yes,' you repeat, stronger, finding your conviction and surrender like air beneath your wings. 'I'll do it.'

Jongin catches you off guard by wrapping you in his arms. In two steps his scent and his body envelops you. His delight is a palpable thing between you, seeping into the marrow of your bones. He pulls back and watches you fiercely.

'I will owe you for this,' he says gently, breath cascading across your lips. 'Forever.'

Even if you didn't know that magic lived in him, you'd be transfixed. His eyes are dark brown, cut through with amber in the bright sunlight. You remind yourself of the terrible things he's done and on instinct you step back.

'You didn't answer my question.'

His hands hang in midair for a moment, as though he were imagining you still in his arms. 'Yes, it will.' His hands fall to his sides and he looks sad. 'I'm sorry for that. Being remade is not an easy feat, from my understanding.'

You steel yourself. 'I've said many times in my life I'd be willing to fight, and die, for those I love. And if this will forever keep them safe, I'll do it.'

Jongin nods. 'You cannot know what it will mean for my people. Centuries of pain ceasing, like blood clotting in a wound.'

No words come, the thought of a lifetime away from your family sits heavily in your mind. But wounds still leave marks, even after they heal. Never seeing your mother and father again. Never being human again. 

Some wounds never heal. But for this, you'll sacrifice everything. And perhaps, in time, come to find other reasons to live. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~

The stone dais in the square is empty. Distant noises of battle - swords clashing, men and women fighting for their lives - pound in your ears as you race to complete the ritual before it’s too late. Before all is truly lost forever

Jongin hesitates for a moment before stepping up behind you. He could have remained opposite you, closeness wasn't a necessity to slice your arm. But despite it all, you're glad he's there. The fact that he lives and breathes and feels comforts you. You hope you're still yourself after this night is done.

'Ready?' he asks, softer than you'd imagine.

With his chest to your back like a shield you slide up the sleeve of your overdress, exposing your skin. Fear clogs your throat and you struggle for breath. Fear of pain. Fear of loss. Fear of failure.

You grit your teeth and will yourself to be strong. 'Ready.'

His broad hand wraps around your wrist, holding it out over the circular opening of stone. The bottom is stained with age, with the imprint of hundreds of years of dead leaves. The sun has bleached the rim. With morbid fascination you hold still as he draws the blade against your skin.

The cut is deep, well-placed. You wince at the searing pain and bite down hard on your cheek, but still you don't look away. His face presses against yours and you realize abruptly how close he is. Jongin sets the knife down on the rim and wraps his free hand around your waist, keeping you steady. Held close against him, as if you were lovers.

The blood pools in the base, in drops, thick and red. You should have asked him what the transformation entails. Too late you realize you were so caught up in the loss of your human life, you'd asked nothing about your journey into the immortality.

Moonlight shines, clear and bright, as the clouds above you clear. Like a beacon it settles on the steady drops of blood that fall from the open wound. It's slowing, turning from a steady flow to a trickle. Just when you think he'll take up the knife and reopen the wound, the stone beneath you trembles. A great rumbling starts beneath your feet and you cling to his arm with your right hand. Ready for whatever hell is unleashing upon you tonight.

'Hold steady,' he says.

You nod and press your lips together to avoid screaming. In the silver light the blood in the base shines. It morphs from red to orange to a near white color in seconds. The structure around you drops a fraction before stilling. Your breath comes out in pants and you keep firm as the shimmering moves up the drops of blood, flowing upwards and back into your body.

When it reaches your skin, you feel like you've been stabbed all over. It's like the time you got too close to the fire as a child, when the flames licked along your skin and burned. You can't help the sound of surprise and agony that leaves you as the ancient magic undoes your humanity.

Jongin catches you as you fall, turning you in his arms and easing you down onto the stone. His hand beneath your head cushions you as your body writhes and jerks as though it were trying to evaporate like smoke. He seems to glow himself as he watches you with a look both fearful and intense with hope.

He squeezes your hand and you look down, realizing he's clasped his hand around yours. The world fades at the corners of your vision. The branches of the trees appear menacing in the darkness. The great turrets of the castle disappear as the clouds move over the moon once more. A great bolt of lightning cleaves the sky, striking the dais.

Your head lolls to the side and you watch the stone crack in half. Thunder echos around you so loudly you gasp. As you lose consciousness you hold Jongin's focus, praying that it worked. That his kingdom will be restored. That your people will be free. That he will once again be whole and uncursed.

#jongin x reader #jongin fanfic #jongin AU #exo x reader #exo fanfic #exo AU

[perfeggso]

Noir (yutae)

Week III pt. 2

Tokyo – fall of 1983: Nakamoto Yuta is quickly rising in the ranks of one of Japan’s most notorious yakuza families, and he’s poised to climb even further if he can stop himself from being ruined by the pretty Korean boy who’s shown up out of nowhere.

Chapter 1  |  Chapter 2  |  Chapter 3  |  Chapter 4  |  Chapter 5  |  Chapter 6  |  Chapter 7  |  Chapter 8  | Masterlist  

Glossary of Japanese words

Characters: Yuta x Taeyong + NCT ensemble, Twice J-line (for funsies)

Genres: Gang!AU, angst, smut, fluff, 1980s!AU

Warnings: graphic violence, swearing, minor character death, alcohol use, mentions of drugs, period-typical homophobia, xenophobia, BDSM

Rating: 18+

Length: 9.3k

If he didn’t think too hard, Yuta was elated.  He’d righted his wrong, put his desires on the line, and gotten the boy he’d been lusting over for two and a half weeks not just to reciprocate, but to come undone in his lap.  As he would say, mission accomplished.  

Still, if he did think about it, he was worried.  As he’d expected, he and Taeyong being an item was distracting to him at work.  All those little moments when Taeyong caught Yuta’s eye and Yuta would suppress his impulses before they had confessed started blossoming into full-on flirting – or worse, makeout sessions in the car or in closets at headquarters.  When Yuta was alone, instead of strategizing for his mission, he would find himself strategizing how to keep everything adequately under wraps for him not to become a liability to the organization or to his men.  He even sometimes worried that he was taking advantage of Taeyong.

This was all in the three days following the party at Johnny’s bar.  By the fourth day and the end of the week, Yuta resolved to go easy on himself.  Taeyong had given every indication of enthusiastic consent, and continued to give it, and Yuta figured once he got used to being with Taeyong, the butterflies would dissipate, and he’d be able to focus again.  

Yuta sat at his desk, legs crossed on the buffed wood, throwing his pen up and practicing catching it while pushing himself side to side in his swivel chair.  Taeyong was in a seat near the window, messing with his nails and making absent-minded ‘beep’ ‘boop’ noises to occupy the time.  

Yuta sighed.  They were at a weird midpoint in their work where they had enough information to have a plan but not to act on it.  Most of the acting would happen in the week and a half leading up to the Mitsubishi meeting.  On top of that, he and Taeyong couldn’t get up to anything because they were expecting a report from Johnny soon.  

“What if she doesn’t bite?” asked Taeyong, ceasing his strange little symphony.  

“Hm?” asked Yuta, not sure what he was referring to.

“Sana.  What if she doesn’t decide to flip when we confront her?  What if she stays with Yamaguchi and they still get into the meeting?”

“That’s not anything you need to worry about, Taeyong,” Yuta tried to explain, setting his pen on the desk with a clack.                                

“But, I mean, I’m involved now,” Taeyong insisted.  “So, wouldn’t it be good for me to have an idea?”

Yuta smiled, acknowledging the merit in Taeyong’s point.  “Okay.  Basically, if she doesn’t side with us, we’re screwed.  We’ll just have to send a large delegation to the meeting and hope we can offer enough perks to get the board of directors to agree to our demands over Yamaguchi’s, and convince them that Yamaguchi’s scheme with Miyazaki’s mistress is real.”

Taeyong rolled his ankles around, looking preoccupied.  

“This is why I didn’t want to say anything, Yong.  I didn’t want you more stressed out than you already are.”

Taeyong leaned forward, elbows on his knees and jaw in his hands.  “No, it’s alright.  I think it’s better for me to know.”

Yuta smiled, appreciative.  “That’s why we’re going to make Sana flip.  We can’t afford not to, and she already hates the Yamaguchi-gumi for screwing up her life, so even if she thinks we’re just as despicable, at least we haven’t proven it yet.”

Taeyong cringed.  “That’s one way to look at it.”  

Yuta checked his watch after a brief silence.  It was 4:40 p.m.; Johnny was supposed to have been there ten minutes ago.  “Where the hell is he?” Yuta grumbled.  

“Johnny?” asked Taeyong.

“Yeah.  Didn’t I tell you that?”

Taeyong shrugged.  “Maybe.”

Yuta thought he saw concern flicker over Taeyong’s face and reasoned there might be a cause for Taeyong’s spaciness that he wasn’t picking up.  

“Taeyong?”

“Yes Shategashira !”

“Come over here for a minute, will you?”

Taeyong hopped to his feet and walked over to the desk, leaning against Yuta’s side of it.  Yuta remarked to himself that the etiquette he had always insisted on regarding his desk was quickly going out the window.

“What is it?” asked Taeyong.  Yuta slipped his hand into the other man’s, squeezing and swinging their arms in a soft rhythm.  

“Is everything alright?” he asked Taeyong.  “People still treating you well?  Are you getting enough rest?  I’m not overwhelming you, am I?”

Taeyong laughed.  “Not at all.  You’re – everything’s really good, and I like all the attention you give me.”

Yuta felt a flash of fondness overcome him.  Lord help him.

“I’m glad.”

“There is one thing I’ve been wondering about though,” said Taeyong, starting again at the nails on his free hand.  

“What’s that?”

“I was just thinking,” Taeyong began, “what is Momo going to do?  Like, I presume that she knows about you but, how does that work for her?  Is she going to hate me?  Is it going to be weird if I have to talk to her any time soon?”

Yuta looked at Taeyong, head cocked to the side like a question.  “Why would it be, if you know she knows?”

“That’s just it – I’m not sure!” Taeyong blurted.  “I just feel like it would be.  Like, it’s kind of a big sacrifice for her, isn’t it?  And here I am, getting to do what she would if – if you were like, wired different or something.”

Yuta dug a nail into Taeyong’s palm, getting his attention.  “Yonggie, none of that is going to happen, alright?  I wanted her to tell you but since you’re worried and bringing it up, you should know that she’s similarly wired .”  Yuta emphasized the last part to mock Taeyong for his awkward use of euphemism.  Taeyong looked confused for a moment, and Yuta watched in amusement as he worked through what he had just learned.  

“Oooh…” Taeyong puzzled.  “Oh!  Well, that’s a coincidence.”

Yuta laughed.  “It’s not a coincidence, Taeyong, it’s the reason for our arranged marriage.”

Taeyong pushed off the desk and started to pace.  “This makes so much sense, now!” he said, making Yuta laugh harder.  “Ooookay.”        

“So, will you calm down?” Yuta asked, and Taeyong nodded, settling back in his chair.

“By the way,” Yuta offered, “how would you feel about going out this weekend?”

“Out?” Taeyong pondered, “like, clubbing?”

“Yeah,” Yuta said, hopeful.  

Taeyong smiled, practically buzzing in anticipation.  “Sounds fun!” he said.

“You can come over to my apartment after, if you want.”

Taeyong wiggled his eyebrows suggestively and Yuta guffawed.  “Oh dear,” he said, shaking his head.  

“This a good time?” came Johnny’s muffled voice from the other side of the door.

Yuta pushed himself into a more decorous sitting position.  “ Douzo .”

Johnny slid open the door and stood in the entryway, saluting and wearing a beige suit and orange shirt with wide lapels.  To Yuta’s surprise, Mark was with him.  

“Phew,” jested Johnny, “I was worried you guys would be going at each other.”

Yuta rolled his eyes “Want to get hit?” he asked, figuring that would shut his friend up.  Out of the corner of his eye he thought he saw Taeyong blush.  

“No, sorry, Shategashira ,” said Johnny, sitting in the chair across from the desk and holding his hands up in mock surrender.  “I’m done.”

Yuta smirked, allowing himself some slight irritation but knowing this was all in good fun.  He addressed Johnny.

“Why is Mark here?”  

Mark, who was still standing, awkwardly not knowing what to do with himself, opened his mouth but was cut off before he could answer.

“He was getting bored and Haechan was there to fill in for him,” Johnny explained, as if that was supposed to be satisfying.  Yuta shook his head incredulously, frustrated by what his men’s lack of discipline represented more than its actual consequences.  In reality, it didn’t matter all that much if it were Mark or Donghyuck at that post – Donghyuck would have likely just been hanging out in construction projects, otherwise.  

“What was Hyuck doing there?” asked Yuta, simultaneously reasoning himself out of being strict.  “Oh, whatever,” he allowed before anyone could answer.  “It’s fine; just try to stay at your posts.”  He turned his attention to Mark.  “Alright?”

“Yes, Shategashira !”

“May I proceed with the report?” Johnny asked, both eyebrows raised and hand poised at the entrance to his jacket pocket.  Yuta nodded and Johnny pulled out a cigarette and lighter, getting himself a smoke before he continued.  

“So,” said Johnny, “I just got off the phone with Kun.  He’s going to be arriving with the Triad delegation this weekend so that they can have plenty of time to strategize, prepare, make sure our priorities align, etc.”

“Perfect,” Yuta remarked.  “Do they need an escort for when they get in?”

“Kun said that would be appreciated,” replied Johnny.  “However, if one is unavailable, his men are trained to defend themselves.”

Yuta rapped his fingers against his desk.  “I’ll contact him and tell him that I’ll do it.  I want to make sure they know they’re valued.  Anything else on that?”

“No, Shategashira .”

“Alright.  What did you find out about Sato?”

“He’s a simple case; got a gambling addiction,” Johnny explained.  

“Sounds like your kind of guy,” said Yuta.  Johnny laughed.  Taeyong yawned in the corner, rolling his wrists around to get rid of the stiffness he was surely feeling.  Yuta’s throat tightened up out of affection.  He couldn’t wait for the weekend.  

“What time is it now?”  

Johnny checked his watch. “4:52, Shategashira ,” he reported.

“I guess now’s as good a time as any to head out,” Yuta figured. “Goro hasn’t sent in anything else that needs to get done, anyhow.”

Johnny stood, still holding his cigarette and pulling a pair of keys from his jacket pocket.  “Can I offer you guys a ride?” he asked.  “I think we all live in the same direction.”

Johnny’s car was an orange 1980 Honda Prelude with five seats that he kept parked in the underground lot below headquarters.  Yuta leaned around to check on the two men sitting in back and almost broke into laughter.  Johnny’s tiny car had five seats only in theory; Taeyong and Mark’s knees were nearly colliding in front of the center seat.  

Johnny lowered – or more accurately, dropped – himself into the car, hand steadied on the steering wheel since it was also a bit short for his 6’1” frame to enter comfortably.  He pulled out the vehicle’s plastic ashtray and stamped out the end of his cigarette.    

“ Yoshi , are we ready to go?” he asked, revving the engine.

Everyone responded affirmatively and all at once, and Yuta found himself wondering, had his been the type of family to go on road trips for vacation, would it have felt a little something like this?  

“Now, Taeyong, you’re going to need to give me a little guidance here,” said Johnny, pulling onto the street. “I don’t know your address.”

“Okay!” came Taeyong’s voice from the back.  He was seated diagonally from Yuta, and Yuta thought he could feel his gaze almost devouring him, but he decided to feign ignorance and not return the look.  He wanted Taeyong frustrated for this weekend.  

Taeyong gave up and averted his eyes out the window, breath fogging the glass’s interior as its exterior beaded with a slow-moving kaleidoscope of raindrops.  

“Johnny,” began Mark.

“Mm?”

“Did Kun say who’d be coming with him?”

Johnny’s brow furrowed as he ticked up the speed of the windshield wiper. “I have it written down, but I can try to remember off the top of my head for now.  Let’s see.  I think Yukhei, Ten, Dejun, Sicheng, Kunhang, and Yangyang are supposed to be his entourage. That could change though – or he could bring more.  I just know he’ll be there, and Yuta’s supposed to meet him at Narita this Saturday.”

“Wow,” said Mark as Yuta thought he felt knees bumping around against the back of his seat as if he were in front of a child on an airplane.  “I haven’t seen those guys in forever; since I was a kid, practically!”

“You’re still a kid,” Johnny deadpanned.    

Yuta watched Mark roll his eyes in the rearview mirror.  “At least I’m not a shatei anymore.”

The sun began to dim as they rolled through the streets of Aoyama, casting the neighborhood in a shimmery palette of greys and yellows.  Wet cement, soaked tree trunks, café windows, umbrellas: grey.  Ginko leaves plastering the sidewalks, neon signs, reflected headlights, and traffic signs: yellow.  Johnny clicked on the radio which was playing “midnight cruisin’” by Kingo Hamada.  

“So,” Taeyong began, “these Triad guys, they’re basically us but in China?”

“I suppose so,” said Yuta.  “They run a similar business to us out of Hong Kong since the mainland Triads got pushed there twenty years ago.  They have even better international connections than us, though.  We’ve been trading between each other forever, but we’ve always run the risk of getting our ships searched and taken in by the authorities.  That’s why they want in on the Mitsubishi deal.  Both the Chinese Navy and the Maritime SDF have been upping patrols in the South China Sea and that means inconvenience for us unless we can piggyback on legitimate business.”

Taeyong looked nervous, his knees pulled together and his thumb nail wedged between his teeth.  “I see,” he said.  Yuta knew that he and Taeyong were well past the stage of pity, but he still couldn’t help the pangs of responsibility he felt every time Taeyong seemed to remember what exactly he’d gotten himself into.  Moments like this made Yuta feel like he was going cold from the inside.  Here they were, sitting three feet away in a car with two other people, not even having properly fucked yet and Yuta was already worried about losing what they had.  Once Taeyong completed his mission he would have the choice to go back to his old life, and even Yuta acknowledged it would probably be in Taeyong’s best interest to do so, but what if leaving Inagawa also meant leaving Yuta?  He had too much firsthand experience with that exact scenario to feel secure.  

They dropped Mark off at his apartment, then Taeyong directed Johnny the rest of the way to his.  Once there, Taeyong slipped out of the idling car into the rain, immediately getting soaked due to his lack of rain gear.  His dark hair flattened, luminous, against his forehead and the black button-up under his oversized denim jacket clung in a way Yuta would not be able to forget any time soon.  

Before Taeyong could scurry too far away, Yuta grabbed the crank on the interior of his car door and rolled down his window, ignoring Johnny’s grumbling that he was going to ruin the upholstery.

“Taeyong,” he called through the screen of raindrops.  Taeyong turned immediately, a warmth in his face which thawed the chill Yuta had sensed before.  

“Yes, Shategashira ?”  

Yuta smiled.  “C’mere,” he instructed, and Taeyong jogged his way back to the car until he was folded at nearly a 90-degree angle to lean into Yuta’s window.  Yuta could see the soft expanse of Taeyong’s torso clearly down his collar.  Fuck .  He placed a finger under Taeyong’s chin and looked into his eyes, which had gone as glassy and round as the puddles in the uneven sidewalk in front of Taeyong’s building.  

“Remember what I said about this weekend?”

Taeyong bit his lip and nodded, searching Yuta’s face.  

“How about tomorrow night?” suggested Yuta.

“Okay!”

Johnny sighed, looking pointedly out the opposite window.  “Let’s hurry this up, lover boys,” he quipped.

“Ignore him,” Yuta told Taeyong when he noticed the other man’s eyes straying in embarrassment.  “You’ll be on patrol tomorrow without me, so I’ll swing by around eleven at night to take you somewhere fun, m’kay?  Just be ready by then.”

“M’kay.”

Yuta pulled Taeyong closer for a chaste kiss, then mercifully let him go to escape the rain.  

“Now, go get yourself into something warm and dry!” he yelled, smiling as Taeyong practically bounded towards the door of his apartment.  

“Aye aye, Shategashira ,” Taeyong responded.

Johnny turned back to face Yuta in mock frustration.  “Will you close the window now?” he asked, and Yuta couldn’t help smiling while cranking it back up.

“You guys are cute,” said Johnny, as if commenting on the heavy rain.  He didn’t seem to have any intention of starting the car.  

“I’m glad you think so,” Yuta responded, cautious.  

“Where are you taking him this weekend?”

“Out,” said Yuta.  “In Yokohama.  A place where no one knows who I am.”

Johnny nodded. “I don’t doubt that you’re being careful,” he said.  “I’m just concerned for him.”

“For Taeyong?”

“Yeah,” Johnny expanded.  “He’s so new at this; does he know what officially joining would even look like?  Someone needs to have that conversation with him.”

“ I’m going to have that conversation with him,” Yuta practically hissed.  This was not the discussion he wanted to be having.

Johnny sighed, shifting into drive, “Okay,” he said.  “I trust you, Shategashira .”

“Good,” said Yuta.  “You shouldn’t have to assure me of that.”

***    

Yuta looked at himself in his full-length mirror, doing a little spin and checking over his shoulder to get as full a view as possible.  He’d sent Taeyong to go on patrol with Donghyuck and Mark for the day while he stayed at headquarters talking to Doyoung about finances.

He’d gotten home, cooked himself some packaged curry, and shut himself in the bathroom on a whim with a tub of black Manic Panic.  Yuta was growing sick of the white hair, and even though he was confident that no one at Copycat knew him or would be a threat, he still felt more comfortable with a less eye-catching hairdo.  It had seemed like a good idea, especially since Yuta’s nerves were still a bit on edge after the assassination attempt.  It had seemed like a good idea, that is, until the chemical fumes in his bathroom were almost enough to make him pass out and he had to scrub the dregs of the dye out of his bathtub once he was done.  

But that was a few hours ago and now, with his hair newly monochrome and slicked back, and the bathroom aired out, Yuta was feeling much better.  He had a cassette of R.E.M.’s “Murmur” blasting from the Hitachi TRK-7020H he kept next to his bed, dancing around to the music and sipping from a tumbler of whiskey as he got ready.  He wanted to take his time picking a good outfit, knowing this would be one of his last opportunities for real fun before the Mitsubishi deal.  Eventually, he settled on a black leather blazer, black pants, white leather boots, a black and blue button-up, and a chain necklace.  

He turned back around to face himself in the mirror, sneaking a sip from his glass and examining the layers of bandage wrap he’d wound around what parts of his chest and lower neck were exposed.  

His watch said it was 10:30. Time to go.    

***

Yuta got to the front door of Taeyong’s building at 11:07.  He buzzed the dial for “Unit 127, Lee,” and after an electronic screech that made Yuta’s eyebrows raise, startled, his date’s voice came through the speaker.  Even through the crackle, he sounded bright, like he was bouncing around on the other end.  

“Yuta!  I just saw you pull up!” Taeyong giggled.  “Be down in a minute.”

Yuta smiled to himself when Taeyong hung up.  In stark contrast to yesterday’s downpour, this was a mild, early November night with a full moon and a soft breeze shuffling the bushes outside the apartment and making Yuta’s skin tingle.  As he waited, Yuta pondered the tile exterior of Taeyong’s building and how desperately it needed washing.  Then, he looked up to the sky where wispy clouds were curling in the moon’s glow like steam over a cup of coffee.  He wondered to himself what that sky would look like out in the countryside, where there was no light pollution and the entire Milky Way would have undoubtedly unfurled overhead for the mortal onlooker.  He wondered what that moon looked like to his family in Osaka.  

The front door opened, pulling Yuta out of his ponderings.  Taeyong smiled and Yuta momentarily forgot to breathe.  His hair had been coaxed lightly off his forehead with some hair gel, and he wore a translucent lavender turtleneck, an oversized houndstooth jacket, black jeans, and sneakers.  Yuta couldn’t have designed a more fantasy-worthy man himself, and Taeyong seemed to notice the reaction he’d caused, because he grinned wickedly.  

“Hi,” he said.

“My god,” said Yuta, regaining his composure and returning the wicked look right back.  “I didn’t think you could get any sexier.”

Taeyong smirked, sticking his chin out so he was looking at Yuta from under hooded eyes.  “I could say the same about you, Shategashira . Especially like the hair.”  

Yuta chuckled, moving in slowly to peck Taeyong on the lips.  He wanted to do more, but even though the street was empty, he didn’t wish for any of Taeyong’s neighbors to see.  Also, he reminded himself, there would be plenty of time for that later.  Yuta watched as Taeyong’s eyes flitted quizzically over his collar.  He lifted a slender finger to trace over the flesh-colored bandages underneath.  

“What’s up with these?” Taeyong asked.

Yuta took Taeyong’s hand in his and guided it back down between them.  

“They’re for covering my tattoos,” he explained, assuming that was obvious.

“I know, but Yutaaa,” Taeyong whined, “your tattoos are so hot.”

Yuta burst out laughing.  “I’m so sorry, baby, but I don’t want to risk it.  Can’t have anyone assuming I’m trouble.”  Yuta narrowed his eyes, trying to look sinister like a yakuza in an anime or something.  Taeyong didn’t seem to buy it.

“Aren’t the bandages suspicious in and of themselves?” he queried.

“Sure,” Yuta said, “but they’re not proof.”  Yuta pulled a dramatically pitiful expression. “I could be recovering from a traumatic car accident.”

Taeyong giggled.  “Yeah,” he said, “recovering at the club.”  

“Listen,” Yuta insisted, “just think how much fun you’ll have peeling them off me tonight.”

Taeyong bit his bottom lip in anticipation and Yuta let go of his hand.  Yuta thought if he was going to survive waiting for Taeyong until they got to his bedroom, he’d need a lot more drinks at Copycat.  Still, the nervous glint in Taeyong’s eyes told Yuta that having patience would make tonight so much more satisfying.  

***

Copycat was a notorious gay club in Yokohama.  Those in the know would recognize it for outlandish parties, drag queens, mysterious drugs, and letting people in strictly based on their looks.  It was a bit out of the way, being in a different city, but Yuta decided the loss of convenience was worth the safety.   They listened to The Violent Femmes’ self-titled album on the forty-minute drive there, as it had recently become one of Yuta’s favorites for amping himself up.  In the car it became clear that Taeyong had pre-gamed because he was much more forward than usual.  He told Yuta he’d missed being with him all day and offered him road head.  As much as Yuta would have liked that, he had to explain that he’d already had a drink too and couldn’t afford to get pulled over.  

The two of them made it past the line easily and slipped their way through the black box of a club.  There were shards of mirrors stuck to the walls which reflected the multicolored lights that flitted about the space.  Go left, and one would be face to face with a wall of caged dancers, go right for the bar.  They went right.    

Yuta decided to order for the two of them.  

“Taeyong,” he half-yelled over the music.  It was “Sex (I’m A…)” by Berlin.  

“Do you want beer, or do you want vodka?”

Vodka was the obvious answer and pretty soon, they were downing a suite of shots one after the other.  

The DJ must have been really into Berlin, because the next song that blared through the speakers was “Pleasure Victim.”

Yuta’s eyes bugged out when he heard it, and he hastily slapped several yen on the bar, pulling Taeyong to the dance floor.  

“I love this song!”

“I can see that,” said Taeyong, tittering as he let Yuta drag him into the center of a mass of bodies, both of them being jostled in a way that would have been dangerous if they were just a little drunker.  The synthesizer in the song complemented the dreamlike aspects of the dance floor (the lights; the glitter), and helped Yuta forget the baser aspects (the grime; the smell).    

Taeyong looked ethereal under the twisting colors and the silver confetti that started to fall, reflecting his gorgeous face ad infinitum.  The thrum of the base in Yuta’s spine and ears made him feel like he was underwater, his movements so slow and heavy in comparison to the music.  

Yuta couldn’t help himself – he was enchanted.  He pulled Taeyong so close that they were writhing against each other more than dancing, and planted a searing kiss to his mouth.  Taeyong tasted harsh, like all the alcohol he’d been drinking.  Yuta felt him pressing against his chest, trying to wriggle out of the kiss and when Yuta pulled back in concern, he was overwhelmed with fondness.  Taeyong panted, offering a sheepish smile.  

“Sorry,” he explained.  “I couldn’t breathe.”

Yuta just laughed and pulled Taeyong close again, and the two opted to grind on each other rather than kiss for the time being.  

Yuta murmured into Taeyong’s ear.  “Do you come to places like this often?”  he asked.

“Every now and then,” answered Taeyong.  “When I wanna find someone to take me home.”

Yuta hummed.  Taeyong’s body against him was making him feel like oil floating in liquid.  “Say we didn’t know each other,” he began as the music switched to Lime’s “Come and Get Your Love.”  “If you saw me from across the dance floor, would you try to get me to take you home?”

Yuta heard Taeyong laugh – felt the vibration of it in his neck.  “I’d do everything I could to make that happen,” Taeyong answered, dropping kisses to the skin just above Yuta’s bandages.  

“I’d come over to dance with you, and you’d no doubt reciprocate, cuz you would’ve had your eyes on me all night.  Am I right?”

“Of course you’re right,” Yuta confirmed, dragging his hands shamelessly over the back of Taeyong’s body.  

Taeyong trailed a smile over Yuta’s skin.  “Then I’d make sure you couldn’t rest until you’d brought me back to yours and taken out all your frustrations on me.”      

Yuta growled as Taeyong pulled away.  His face was flushed.  It looked like the stains left on your hands after eating cherries.  His eyes had gone glassy from intoxication and the edges of his mouth curled in an adorable smile.  Yuta couldn’t believe his self-control that he’d managed to wait this long to fuck him.  God…

Taeyong bit his lip as he swayed his hips to the music.  “But we could…we could make that happen anyway,” he offered, going bashful for a split second before drawing a couple fingers over the skin under Yuta’s bottom button.  “Right, Shategashira ?” he whispered for good measure.  

Yuta grabbed Taeyong’s wrist.  “You’re a menace, you know?”

Taeyong cocked his head and spun around so his back was against Yuta’s chest.  He kept his eyes on Yuta, batting his lashes innocently.  

“It’s just what you do to me,” he explained.

Yuta could only shake his head in disbelief as he wrapped his arms around his dance partner.  

***

The restroom at Copycat was cleaner than Yuta would have expected; at least as far as he could tell under the dark lighting.  The almost surgical white tiles which lined most of the space were shockingly devoid of even marker graffiti.  So was the red of the dividers between stalls and urinals.  

Yuta stared into the mirror as he washed his hands.  The empty bathroom gave him a familiar liminal space feeling as Madonna’s “Lucky Star” echoed from the dance floor, dreamlike, and he had the impression that should he walk back out the door, he would find himself in a dark void rather than a physical, tangible environment.  Maybe it was all the vodka, or simply the temporary damage suffered by his eardrums that made everything sound faraway.  

As Yuta shook his hands dry, a tall man in a shiny black suit with a buzzcut strolled in and made his way to the urinals.  Yuta didn’t think anything of him, until he decided to strike up a conversation.  Yuta watched the man’s back in the mirror.

“Having a good time out there, boss?” asked the man’s back.  

Boss?  

Yuta ignored the quarry, figuring it was just drunken banter, and he didn’t have the nerves for that.  He started towards the door.  

“Hey, it’s an innocent question.” The man’s voice came now from just behind Yuta, insistent.  Apparently this guy wasn’t planning on washing his hands.    

Yuta paused. “Fun!” he repeated, almost mockingly.  “Yes, I’m having fun, thanks.”  Yuta moved to leave but his interlocutor blocked the door.  

“That boy you got with you’s a real nice piece of ass, I gotta say.  You got me jealous.”

Yuta glared, his wits forcing themselves about him as he hoped desperately that he hadn’t left Taeyong in a dangerous position.  He needed to be getting back.  

“I’d prefer you didn’t refer to him like that,” Yuta said coolly, trying to defuse the situation.  

“Oh, you got feelings, I see,” said the guy in mock apology.  “He your boyfriend?”

Yuta reached into his jacket pocket and the man jumped, moving out of the way and opening the door for Yuta to walk past.  Yuta pushed out a clipped breath, glad he hadn’t needed to resort to threats of violence.  Still, how had the man anticipated what Yuta had been reaching for?  It was probably the bandages giving him away.  The man trailed after Yuta once in the hallway outside the restroom.  

“Alright, sorry, sorry.  Listen, so you’re having fun with your boy toy out there.  What if I told you I had something that could make it even more fun?”

Yuta refused to look at the man.  He almost never did drugs stronger than alcohol and nicotine.  Having taken part in illegal drug smuggling and sales, he knew what kind of weird and dangerous ingredients people passed off as “the real stuff.”  Not to mention his oath to Inagawa which forbade it.

“No thank you,” he said plainly.  

This guy would not give up.  

“Oh, come on, you haven’t even heard the whole pitch. I’ve had nothing but stellar reviews and – and it boosts your sex drive like, it’s incredible!  Don’t you wanna check it out?  I just gotta go get it out of a back room; you two can follow me there!”

Alright , thought Yuta, that’s enough .  He grabbed the guy by his collar and pushed him against the wall.  Despite his impressive height, he was thin and Yuta gained confidence when he realized how little this man could actually do to challenge him.  He didn’t have the reflexes of an experienced criminal.  Still, he was likely an inexperienced one.  

“Go push your shit on someone else,” Yuta insisted, an implied threat of harm hanging in the air.  When he was sure the bothersome man was sufficiently flustered, Yuta stormed away and plucked Taeyong from where he’d left him at the bar and where he had thankfully remained.  Taeyong was about to down a Jell-O shot when Yuta arrived.    

“Thank god.  Let’s go.”

“Hm? What about this?” Taeyong asked, referring to the shot.  

Yuta shook his head.  “I’ve had enough of this place,” Yuta asserted.  “Let me take you home.”

Taeyong didn’t argue with that logic, as Yuta knew he wouldn’t, and they weaved through the crowd and slipped out the back door into the cool air.  Yuta hadn’t been aware of how sweaty and disgusting he’d become until he had the breeze there to remind him.  He heard Taeyong let out a whooping noise at his side.  

Taeyong practically sprinted the couple blocks back to the car, still buzzing with booze and dancing, and Yuta had to work to keep up.  Once in the vehicle, Yuta used the car phone to call a designated driver service.  

Yuta hung up.  “They’ll be here in ten minutes,” he relayed.  

Taeyong arched an eyebrow.  “Ten minutes, huh?”

That’s all he could get out before Yuta was cutting him off with a kiss.

***

The driver followed Yuta’s instructions to park around the corner from Yuta’s place.  He lived in an adjoined but separate wing of the Inagawa-kai mansion in Ginza.  The main structure of the building resembled a scaled down Samurai castle painted black.  Yuta had lived there since he came to Tokyo when he was fifteen.  At the time, he was placed in the mansion proper, where he struck up a quick friendship with Oyabun Hirai’s daughter, but also felt constantly surveilled.  Now, as an adult in his own sectioned off wing, he could come and go as he wished, with whomever he wished.  Having lived there for ten years, Yuta sometimes didn’t notice the building’s slightly threatening grandeur.  Yuta was reminded by Taeyong’s shocked expression when they turned the corner to see it.

“You live here?” Taeyong gasped.

“I forgot you’ve never needed to come to the mansion,” Yuta reasoned.  He pointed to the much smaller and plainer structure tacked on to the side of the Oyabun ’s residence.  

“I used to.  Now I live there.”

Taeyong’s eyes scanned the building before him in wonder.  “Still…”

Yuta laughed, grasping Taeyong’s hand.  “Alright enough gawking.  Let me show you inside.”  

Inside was equally stimulating to Taeyong apparently, who began spouting variations on “wahhhh!” the second Yuta had opened the unit’s purple door and let him in.  

Yuta’s apartment had three rooms not counting the bathroom; each with a distinctly different style which worked well alongside the others, nonetheless.  The one into which the front door opened and in which they were standing was the kitchen/dining area.  It was a galley kitchen with a wooden table and chairs and patterned wallpaper with fruits on it.  To the right opened a traditional tatami room where Yuta kept his sofa and TV.  

Yuta laughed at Taeyong as he nearly bounced off the counter space, letting his fingers titter over spice containers, an ashtray, plastic flowers; whatever he could get his hands on.  

“I’m glad you find my apartment so entertaining,” Yuta quipped, a bit confused.  

Taeyong shrugged.  “I really like this,” he explained.  “Getting a little peak at my Shategashira ’s personal space.  It’s not what I expected.”  

What had he expected? Black paint and walls of katana and guns?   Yuta asked as much.

Taeyong laughed breathily.  “Not necessarily.  I’m not sure.  Maybe.”

Yuta’s skin was getting itchy as he eyed the door to his bedroom on the far wall.  

“Okay,” he allowed.  “Follow me.”

Yuta and Taeyong made their way to the door and once on the other side of it, Yuta again observed Taeyong’s reaction.  He drank in the space, black chambray wallpaper, red moldings, and silky purple sheets on the bed all being slowly processed.  Yuta knew his taste sometimes delved into extremely tacky territory, but his bedroom décor made him feel like a badass and he hoped Taeyong would understand the vibe he was going for.  

“This is a little more what I was expecting,” admitted Taeyong, finally.  

Yuta smiled, catlike, and closed the door, caging Taeyong in against it.  Taeyong’s breathing faltered for a moment as his eyes fluttered shut.  Yuta drew in a deep breath, the smells of the club mixing on Taeyong’s skin with his cologne and the natural scent of his body.  Yuta kissed at the hinge of Taeyong’s jaw as Taeyong shucked his jacket.  

“I’ve been hoping for this since we first met,” Yuta admitted, running his hands over Taeyong’s figure for the nth time that night.  Taeyong preened under the touch, beginning to lose himself for the first time with the knowledge of what this was all leading up to.

He sighed, a half-smile gracing his lips.  

“Please, do whatever you imagined, Shategashira ,” he almost panted.  “I want you to show me everything you’ve thought of doing to me.”

Yuta smirked, planting a hard kiss on Taeyong’s lips.  

“That would take a while,” he said slyly when he let up, “but I’ll give you a taste.  We’ll have opportunities to get to the rest later.”

Yuta watched in satisfaction as Taeyong visibly shivered.  He stepped away until the backs of his knees were brushing his bed.

“Can you take your shirt off for me, sweetheart?”    

Taeyong obliged immediately, dropping his shirt to the floor and standing against the door, laughing his way into a nervous smile and crossing and uncrossing his arms.  Yuta bore his gaze into him, and Taeyong quieted his movements in response.  

“Good boy,” Yuta murmured, pleased when he heard Taeyong gulp down a groan in response.  Yeah, he’d had a feeling…

He slipped off his jacket, instructing Taeyong’s to stay put as he folded it in half and set it on a chair in the corner.  Taeyong took it like an order, with a “yes, Shategashira ,” that was so cute it made Yuta’s stomach churn.  He made his way back to the man he’d left by the door, wrapping his now half bare arms around him.  He noticed that Taeyong was chewing his lip hard enough that it looked painful.

“You okay?” he asked, petting his right hand over Taeyong’s hair. Taeyong released his lip, eyes fixed on Yuta’s face only millimeters from his.

“Yeah,” he breathed in confirmation.

“Good.”  Yuta walked backwards towards his bed again, guiding Taeyong forward with him and stopping only when he was sitting and Taeyong was climbing up to straddle him, neither breaking eye contact the entire time.  Yuta placed his hands over Taeyong’s hips.  

“You seem a little nervous, baby,” he ventured.

Taeyong smiled.  There we go.   “You make me nervous, Shategashira .  But, in a good way.”

Yuta smiled back.  “I didn’t seem to make you nervous earlier,” he jested.

“The alcohol is starting to wear off now,” explained Taeyong.  

Yuta sighed, dropping a quick kiss just above Taeyong’s belly button.  “Tell you what: why don’t you tell me what you want right now, darling.  Forget the things I’ve imagined.  I want you to feel comfortable.”

“M’sorry,” said Taeyong, eyes darting off to the side, and Yuta shook his head.  

“Don’t be.  Just name it and I’ll give it to you.”

Taeyong’s eyes returned to Yuta as he drew his lips into the softest smirk.  

“Well first of all,” he began, “I want to undress you and take off your bandages, like you promised me.”  

Yuta was more than happy to oblige.  He let Taeyong surround him, crawling over the bed to different sides of him to get the angles he needed to unbutton his shirt and peel off the wrappings, slowly revealing Yuta’s tattooed skin.  Taeyong hummed to himself as he worked, insisting Yuta relax and stay still, and placing soft kisses to each section of flesh as soon as it became accessible.  Yuta felt like he was floating with Taeyong tittering about and mouthing at him.  At the same time, it was teasing him into impatience.  

When Taeyong finished, he threw the bandages to the ground and placed his hands on Yuta’s shoulders to steady himself as he leaned forward, observing the ink figures that covered Yuta’s entire upper body; dragons, flames, and Oni practically crawling out from the waist of his pants.

“Shit.  That looks so painful.”

Taeyong yelped in surprise as Yuta grabbed his face and pulled him in for an upside-down kiss.  When Yuta pulled away, he took advantage of Taeyong’s disorientation to turn around and chase him back on the bed into the pillows.

“It was,” he confirmed finally, giggling, and pretty soon he had Taeyong laughing too.  

Taeyong regained his composure and worried his lip between his teeth again for a moment before speaking.  Yuta couldn’t help noticing the flush that had taken over Taeyong’s face, neck, and chest.  

“Yuta?”

“Mm?”

“I want to feel you inside me,” Taeyong almost whispered.  “And I want you to take over now.”

Yuta felt his dick twitch at Taeyong’s words.  He settled his expression and let out a deep breath.  

“Okay, baby,” he said.  “Then I need you to take off your pants.”

Taeyong obliged easily as Yuta stood and removed his own, then pulled a bottle of lube from the bedside table.    

Yuta looked quizzically at Taeyong’s sudden nakedness.  He was so beautiful.  

“You weren’t wearing underwear?” he teased and Taeyong demurred.  

“No,” he admitted, and Yuta caught Taeyong’s eyes grazing over the less dense tattoos which continued over Yuta’s lower body.  

Yuta shuffled back onto the bed between Taeyong’s legs.  

“No wonder you were in such a mood earlier,” said Yuta, almost coldly.  “You’re my naughty boy tonight, hm?  Spread your legs.”

Taeyong shuffled his legs wider, his hardening cock wobbling with arousal.  

“Mmmmmm mhm, I am,” Taeyong groaned as Yuta coated his fingers with the lube, smirking to himself.  Taeyong sounded wrecked already from all the intimacy and the light dirty talk, and Yuta hadn’t even properly touched him yet.    

Yuta scooted in closer and circled Taeyong’s entrance with his pointer finger, eliciting a gasp from him.  

“You’re so sweet, it kills me,” Yuta murmured, and with that he looked Taeyong in the eyes and pressed his finger in.  Taeyong keened, panting.  

A few minutes later, Yuta was stretching Taeyong with three fingers, admiring the man beneath him as he rocked himself lightly into Yuta’s thrusts with one bent leg as an anchor.  He had his eyes shut forcefully and chewed on his thumb nail, clipped, muffled moans emanating from the base of his throat.  

Yuta’s cock was straining against his underwear and leaving a wet mark on the fabric.  He was so turned on that he would almost have been satisfied just watching Taeyong ride his hand all night.  Almost.  

“You take my fingers so well, baby,” he teased, brushing over Taeyong’s prostate and causing his eyes and mouth to drop open simultaneously in pleasure.  “You think you’re ready for my cock?”

Taeyong bucked his hips as he dropped his hand from his mouth.  

“Yes, yes, yes…” he repeated as if in a trance.  “Please, Shategashira .”

He mewled as Yuta withdrew his fingers, clenching around air, and then again when Yuta removed his boxer briefs.  Yuta was naked save the chain he’d been wearing all night, reveling in the image of it swinging while they fucked.  

Taeyong shimmied himself down into the bed until he was lying down, his arms bent and framing his head on the purple pillow.  

Yuta lined himself up and pushed slowly inside, groaning when he bottomed out.  He watched Taeyong’s stomach flex as he got used to the stretch and steadied his shallow breathing.  Yuta ground his hips experimentally and Taeyong whimpered.    

“Mmm, you feel so good around me, baby.”

“You feel good too,” Taeyong reciprocated. “I – ah – you fill me up so well.”

Taeyong reached his arms out in a fidgety motion and Yuta obliged him, leaned forward until Taeyong could wrap his arms fully around him.  He took one of Taeyong’s nipples into his mouth, catching him by surprise as he began to thrust and bit down, making him whine.  

Yuta wondered where Taeyong had been all his life.  Sure, it sounds cheesy, but it was true.  Taeyong was so tight and warm, it made him crazy, and he let the most endearing string of curses and breathy moans fall past his lips as Yuta fucked into him with increasing insistence.  

Yuta pulled himself back upright so he could get a better view of the man under him, thumbing over the nipple that was still wet and inflamed from his mouth.  Taeyong’s skin sparkled with sweat as he knit his brow and sent his fingers absentmindedly to his mouth.  Yuta reached down and moved Taeyong’s hand, replacing it with his own, and the look Taeyong gave him when he reopened his eyes made Yuta feel a telltale clench in his gut.  

“Keep your eyes on me,” he instructed.

“Yes Sha – Yes, Shategashira .”  

The slap of flesh on flesh grew louder, mixing with the metallic sound of Yuta’s chain and filling the space as Yuta thrust hard enough it would probably leave Taeyong with bruises.  Taeyong drew in a breath and let it out as a broken sob.  

“I’m so close,” he warned over Yuta’s fingers.  

Yuta wrapped his hand around Taeyong’s cock, which was angry and straining at this point, pumping him in time with his thrusts to the best of his ability.  The movements were slicked by the precome that Taeyong had been dribbling consistently over himself.  

“Ah, thank you, thank you, thank you…” Taeyong repeated as he bucked jerkily into Yuta’s touch, his hands wandering in spastic fits over his own heaving chest.

“You’re going to come when I tell you to.  Okay, darling?” Yuta sing-songed.

Taeyong sobbed again as Yuta dragged his thumb over the head of his cock.  “Yes, Shategashira .”

Yuta shuddered, nearing his own climax. He thrust deep into Taeyong, abusing his prostate as he pressed his thumb into Taeyong’s slit.  

“Now, baby.  Come for me.”

Taeyong wailed as he came a moment later, streaking his stomach in pearly white and huffing from all the energy he’d expended.

Yuta’s thrusts grew more erratic and his voice came out like gravel.  “Fuck, baby,” he said, “you did it just when I told you to.  My good boy.  I wish you could have seen how incredible you looked.”

Taeyong shook his head in embarrassment against the pillow and threw an arm over his face.  He kept spasming now and again from aftershocks and from Yuta still fucking into him.  

“Thank you, Shategashira .  I wanted to be good for you.”

Yuta let out a gut-punched sound at that.  “I’m gonna come now, sweetheart,” he informed.  “Where do you want it?”

Taeyong’s voice was barely there as he answered.  “Inside.  Please.” That alone was enough to push Yuta over the edge.  

He kept grinding his release into Taeyong once he’d come, bringing himself down and pulling a new string of whimpers from the man below.  

“Aah, that was so good, baby,” he said dreamily.  “Let me see you.”  

Taeyong removed his arm from his face, and what Yuta saw sent a residual wave of pleasure all the way to his toes.  Taeyong’s cheeks were red and shiny, not just from sweat but also from the small collection of tears that had welled up at the corners of his eyes and started to spill over.  

“Oh, baby,” Yuta cooed.  “You look so pretty like this, it’s unreal.”

Taeyong spasmed.  “Please…”

It was a bit unfair to Taeyong, who hadn’t been introduced to Yuta’s sadistic side in bed yet, but Yuta couldn’t stop himself from continuing to grind in and out of Taeyong’s entrance just a little longer than was obviously comfortable, egged on by the tears and by the little noises Taeyong kept making.  When Taeyong started begging for real, he finally decided to give him a break and pulled out.

By the end of the night, Yuta was completely whipped, for better or for worse.  Sometime during their post-fuck cuddling, Taeyong had informed Yuta that he liked it when he told him what to do, liked being bitten, and that as much as it had made him sensitive and squirmy, he’d have been okay if Yuta had continued to overstimulate him.  The conversation turned to other things they might like and soon enough, they were both recovered enough to get hard again.  Using some of what he’d just learned about Taeyong to his benefit, Yuta sat the other man on his lap and jerked him off with one hand while wrapping the other around his neck.  Taeyong came over Yuta’s fingers, licked them clean, and returned the favor with a blowjob.  By the time they were done and somewhat cleaned up, both men collapsed in a heap in Yuta’s now slightly sticky bed.  Yuta let Taeyong cuddle into his side, thinking to himself that he was going to need to figure out how to make this work.    

“How long did these take?” Taeyong asked, tracing a finger over the Oni on Yuta’s sternum.  

“I got them over the course of five years, so it’s hard to say.  Maybe, 100 hours?”

Taeyong raised his head in shock and Yuta laughed.  “No way.”  Yuta nodded. “And it really hurt?” Taeyong asked, eyes wide.  

Yuta adjusted his head on the pillow, taking a drag of the cigarette he had perched between his fingers.  

“I mean, it’s not the worst thing ever, but it’s pretty unpleasant.  They’re not normal tattoos, either.”

“How so?”

“You get them done with this sharpened piece of bamboo and no modern equipment.  It’s the traditional way for us.  Someone’s granny does them; I forget who she’s related to.”

Taeyong finished tracing the Oni and moved on to the flaming border next to it.  “Do you think I could ever get one?  Not like, the whole thing – just something small like what Donghyuck has.”

Yuta felt the familiar pang of nervousness he got every time he thought about Taeyong’s future with the Inagawa-kai and, by association, with him.  

“Mm,” Taeyong acknowledged.  “Well then...”

“Have you thought at all about it?” Yuta ventured, immediately wishing he hadn’t when he felt Taeyong tense.  Still, he knew the question would have eaten at him either way.  

“A little bit, but I haven’t come to a decision,” Taeyong explained.  Yuta took another drag and offered his cigarette to Taeyong, who took it, to Yuta’s surprise.  Taeyong tried smoking it and started coughing on the exhale, scrunched his face up in distaste.  

“I don’t know why I try it every time someone offers me one.  I never like it,” he said.  

“Sorry,” said Yuta with a laugh.  “Anyway, mind giving me some insight into your thought process?”

Taeyong settled back into Yuta’s side.  Yuta could feel vibrations in his ribs as Taeyong spoke.

“Well, as I imagine you understand, officially entering a life of crime or whatever is pretty intimidating even if you’ve never operated in the mainstream.  It’s a big commitment.  At the same time, I don’t really have anything waiting for me on the other side.” Taeyong flushed.  “Besides, I’m really enjoying being with you.”

Yuta blew another puff of smoke as some bittersweet feeling kicked around in his stomach.  

“Don’t let me be too much of an influence on your decision,” he advised.  “We can be together anyway.  I mean yakuza don’t usually date other syndicate members anyway for…obvious reasons.”

“Yeah,” Taeyong mumbled.  “That’s true.  But I promise, no matter what I decide, you’ll be the first to know.”

“Thank you.”  

There was a short silence where Yuta reveled in listening to the slightly off rhythm of his and Taeyong’s breathing.

“Yonggie,” he began again.

“Yeah?”

“Want to hear about how I joined the Inagawa-kai?”

Taeyong turned on his stomach and placed his chin on Yuta’s chest.  “Sure.”

“I grew up in Osaka, where my father worked for an Inagawa outpost.  When I was a teenager, he got killed on the job.  I was devastated.  He was the person I admired most in the world.  I didn’t have a rebellious bone in my body because my dad was the center of authority in our house and I thought he was the greatest person who’d ever lived.  Anyway, when he died, I still wanted to be like him and tried to join the Inagawa in Osaka in his memory I guess, but it didn’t work out.”

Yuta paused for another drag.  He continued.

“That was because the rest of my family took their grief in a very different direction.  My mother and sisters blamed the syndicate and wanted to cut all ties to it, so that would rule out me becoming a yakuza, you know.  I figured though, that anything my father would give his life for must be worth something, right?  One of his old friends who knew Goro set me up to move to Tokyo and the rest is history.  I wouldn’t say I got disowned for my decision, but I rarely talk to my family and going home would just be too unpleasant to stomach.  Me being gay didn’t help either.”  Yuta chuckled wryly.  

“I bet,” said Taeyong.  “That’s really rough though.  I’m so sorry about your dad.”  

“It’s all worked itself out, more or less,” said Yuta.  “I still miss him though.  But this is all to say that you’re the person who knows best for you.  The syndicate can be a great place to find community and purpose when you don’t have that anywhere else, I’ll give it that, and that’s how most of us ended up where we are.  But, you have to be okay with the violence; both the threat of it against yourself and those you love and that you will inevitably perpetrate against others.”

Taeyong nodded, his eyes fluttering down to Yuta’s chest.  Yuta figured that was enough heavy talk for one night.  He put out his cigarette in the ashtray next to the bed and grinned, ruffling Taeyong’s hair.  Taeyong smiled back.  

“I’ll shut up now,” Yuta said.  

“S’okay,” replied Taeyong.  “Yuta?”

“Yah?”

“Can – can I stay the night?”

Yuta balked, scratching his nails over Taeyong’s neck.  “Of course!” he said.  “I didn’t think that was even a question.  It’s too dangerous for you to go back to yours alone in the middle of the night, anyway.”

Taeyong looked relieved and he nuzzled up into Yuta’s shoulder.  Yuta hadn’t been exaggerating earlier when he’d said that Taeyong’s sweetness was killing him. ��He only worried he might not have the natural disposition for his current line of work.  

“Thanks, Shategashira .”

Yuta spluttered, poking Taeyong’s nose.  “Of course.  Besides, anyone who’s that good a lay deserves to spend the night.”

“Aww,” said Taeyong jokingly, “good cause you owe me anyway, I think.  I hadn’t been fucked for a while and now my ass hurts.”

“I will not apologize for breaking you back in the correct way,” said Yuta, turning out the lamp by his side, and Taeyong swatted his opposite shoulder.  

“Whatever, just cuddle me and I’ll get over it.”

“Get some sleep, baby.  We’ll take my car to the airport tomorrow and we need to leave around eleven.”

“Oh shit, I forgot about the Triads,” admitted Taeyong, voice suddenly breathy with fatigue.  

“You won’t once you’ve met them,” Yuta joked.  “Goodnight.”

“’Night.”  

Yuta struggled to sleep at first, still exhilarated by the night’s events and unable to shake from his mind the memory of how good Taeyong had looked under him – better than he’d even imagined.  The only thing which helped pull him under was the quiet rhythm of Taeyong’s sleepy exhales.  

#Yuta #yutae #yuta fanfic #nakamoto yuta #taeyong #lee taeyong #lee taeyong fanfic #yuta nct #taeyong nct #nct nakamoto yuta #nct lee taeyong #yakuza #gang!AU #nct #nct 127 #nct dream #my work #my fanfic #my fanfiction #neothestars #nctnetwrite #1980s! au

[cupofkey]

hetalia characters as tarot major arcana! (part 2)

here’s part 1 and part 3! all the usual disclaimers apply, this is just for fun :) here’s the next 8 cards:

VII The Chariot: Germany.

the Chariot is similar to the Magician in that it’s also about success, drive, and power, though I’d definitely say it concerns the practical aspect rather than the mental aspect. Germany is a character who has an incredible amount of focus and dedication, which imo is what this card is about: putting 100% into your goals and getting results. (lifting every day) I also sometimes interpret it as an indicator of duality or balance in one’s motivations, something I feel is very Germany, and it is the ultimate getting-shit-together-and-done card. basically perfect for him. [ngl I’m pretty alright with whoever people choose for this. any character with drive and will is an awesome facet of the Chariot, though I will say I think Germany fits the focused side the best. I do think it’s misinterpreted pretty hard but aren’t they all lmao]

VIII Strength: Canada.

Strength, contrary to the name, isn’t actually about physical strength. it’s a bit of a foil to the Chariot in that it concerns an internal drive and internal strength rather than external prowess. (and it’s different from the Magician in that the Magician is more results-oriented, whereas Strength is about something personal/emotional.) I feel Canada is a great example of this card; he might be meek and ignored, but he has a lot of inner fire and influence. he’s a strong fighter and is also extremely passive aggressive/cunning, traits that he keeps under wraps, and he’s persistent and solid when he wants to be. the typical imagery for strength is a woman taming a lion (representing conquering internal conflict/external pressure via one’s inner strength) and I think that’s very fitting indeed! [I love seeing Hungary for this one even though I know it’s probably a bit of a misinterpretation! this is one where I feel you could slide in a lot of unexpected characters as well, Liechtenstein and Finland were on my mind.]

IX The Hermit: England.

this is for sure an interesting choice on my part lol. I do see England as a very isolated character though? he’s just kind of... alone in everything, all the time. my personal view/hc thinks of him as an older guy who’s getting pretty tired and doesn’t really have anyone. a big part of the Hermit is inner guidance through uncertainty and self reflection, something I think is very very relevant to England moreso than any other character, whether he does it or not. he’s quite prickly and seems to drive away the people he needs the most, and the Hermit to me feels like both a representative card and an advice card for him. giving fictional characters therapy 2020 [tbh I was strongly considering Japan for this for like... so many reasons? I mean he’s literally a hermit. but I actually really like where I’ve put everyone, it’s fresh and lets me explore different sides of the cards. so here we are]

X The Wheel of Fortune: Prussia.

another interesting and maybe controversial one! the Wheel of Fortune is very much about the ups and downs, the turns and twists, and most importantly the changes of life. I feel it’s very relevant to Prussia in a lot of ways; historically, this back-and-forth nature runs through his past, and I feel he’s one of the characters where that really shines through to his personality. it’s canonically established how lonely and alienated he feels, contrasting greatly with his perceived bravado... def think he’s more resistant to those changes and it’s hurting him a lot. change has beaten him down and taken everything away from him so what is he gonna do now? his future is the most uncertain out of all of the characters for sure. I also am reminded of the Wheel of Fortune’s ties to the concept of karma, and I wonder how much that plays into Prussia’s personal demons. [this one... is a bit of a pessimistic take, yeah, but it can be a wonderful card to pull when you’re struggling! another widely applicable card. I do like seeing duos/trios representing this though, I think it really suits the nature of the card]

XI Justice: Switzerland.

Justice is a very critical, scrutinizing card, focused on the capital-T Truth and the capital-L Law. it’s really about the choice to maintain that. I mean this is the guy who snipes trespassers. lol but seriously I think Switzerland is the best character to fit this. he’s a hardass and operates by a very specific set of rules, and he crucially does not deviate from them because he chooses them and believes them. his neutrality is another great demonstration of this; awareness of the consequences of your actions is very much Justice. his relationship with Liechtenstein is interesting because he does end up subverting or breaking those rules (no outsiders, frugality, that whole swissaus drama, etc) but it’s also a choice, and it’s the right choice for his own beliefs. I also feel like it shows a sense of accountability on his part [important thing to note: Justice is not about morals! at least not how I interpret it, imo you can be lawful evil and vibe with Justice. this is why I don’t mesh with people assigning America or Denmark or anyone who’s wilding, it just doesn’t match the tone of the card.]

XII The Hanged Man: Russia.

one of my favorite major arcana, and one of the most complex! the Hanged Man can mean a pause, realignment, indecision, surrender, sacrifice... really though I think Russia embodies it so well. he just isn’t understood by pretty much every other country; the way he thinks and acts is completely out of the box for most. his history has been difficult, turbulent, rife with death and sacrifices, and he’s often in a kind of limbo of dread when it comes to making solid decisions. (see: his relationship with his sisters). it’s a card that feels both contemplative and restraining, if that makes sense? there’s a focus on the inner landscape, though the external circumstances are trapping you there, and that’s very Russia to me. [do people know what this card means? probably not, hell even I struggle with it at times. I will say you can take a pretty lighthearted interpretation of it, though I personally prefer something more ambiguous, and ofc it all depends on context if you’re pulling it in a reading.]

XIII Death: HRE.

[putting this at the beginning bc I want you to know: Death is not usually about dying!! it’s actually a very positive card. it means a transformation in your life, or some fundamental shift in the way things are. choosing deadly characters is cool but it doesn’t align with the card itself.] anyways I chose HRE for Death for a few reasons. obviously he dies, but I feel like a lot of the historical aspect of HRE lines up with Death very well. I’d say all of the characters have experienced major changes etc, but the ideas behind the creation of the HRE are very much an attempt at metamorphosis imo, like transforming that conflicting puddle of states into one big thing, transforming the power dynamics in western/central Europe, creating a new Roman Empire, etc. HRE also has a big impact on the other characters and is a catalyst of sorts? if you subscribe to HRE=Germany, Death is 100% the perfect card as there is literally a metamorphosis from one to the other. even if you don’t, imo no other character suits Death as much as HRE, just because of how thematically relevant it is to his arc compared to others featured.

XIV Temperance: Japan.

like I’ve said, Japan has a couple other major arcana he could fall under, but I really like Temperance for him! this card is one of the calmest major arcana, and it’s all about balance and moderation. Japan himself is quite fastidious with all his ducks in a row, has a lot of patience, and definitely strives to live a simple and balanced life. this is like the cottagecore card to me so that definitely fits! he’s also very accommodating and doesn’t express solid opinions on things, something that’s a bit of a RIP but fits Temperance’s “go with the flow” nature very well.  [I love love love this card. definitely another one of my favorites! I feel it’s often applied to characters who are on the shy side, but I think a touch of neuroticism really makes it perfect lol. not too much! but just enough to walk the middle ground and keep oneself neutral. another one where swissaus is iconic but I feel they’re a bit too much.]

#hws #aph #hetalia #tarot #major arcana #analysis time bby #hws germany #hws canada #hws england #hws prussia #hws switzerland #hws russia #hws hre #hws japan

[fysus17]

My Friends as the Tarot!

@thaumatroping Alice: Ace of Cups (Ethereal Visions)- Compassion, purity, creativity, beginnings. Emotional or spiritual fulfillment. Overflowing joy and happiness. Stable and abundant in the position that she is currently in. Full of a lot of emotions that require discipline in order to control the overflow of the cup. Empathetic. Receptive and friendly. @ronnie-bunny Ronnie: 8 of air (swords) (The Good Tarot)- Release from denial, seeing things as they are, clarity. Her demeanor suggests that she’s imprisoned. What’s holding her back? Represents stuck situations, the feeling of having no way out. The greater issue, though, is the acceptance of things as they are, and the inability or unwillingness to see that the key is in her hand. @hypochondriac-butters Jax: 2 of pentacles (Shadowscapes)- A balancing act: juggling and keeping everything in motion. A very flexible and adaptable person. He should be wary of taking on too much at one time and needs to realize that it’s okay to take a break sometimes. He may feel as if he’s not doing enough, but he’s probably overworking himself to keep the balance. Preferred to be anonymous so Butters: 8 of swords (The Wild Unknown)- Surrounded by obstacles and threats on all sides. Represents powerlessness and a feeling of being trapped. Is she being held back by her friends or herself? Her perceptions keep her from opening her wings and taking flight. Negative thoughts. She’s trapped and restricted by the current circumstances.  @super-craig-is-gay  Rachel: XII The Hanged Man (Shadowscapes Tarot)- The need to let go and surrender. She needs to learn how to give herself up to the experience and trust that everything will work out in the end. She will sacrifice anything for her friends. The card calls for a change of one’s perception of the world. One who is suspended in time. This card calls for a metamorphosis. @princeofzircon Dawn: The Emperor IV (Ethereal Visions)- Representation of strong masculine energies. They have the ability to calm chaos and offer authoritarian guidance. Exudes the traits of a leader, protector, and provider. Power, structure, and success. It could mean that they are specifically the provider in the family or are taking on the role of the parent. @allthestripes Stripe: Ace of Pentacles (Ethereal Visions)- Prosperity, stability, new beginnings, and abundance. She has a very clear set of goals and is very determined in what she wants to achieve. She’s wealthy in nonmaterial things, friends, relationships, etc. She has an incredibly positive energy. Adorably enough, her partner is the 2 of Pentacles. @fitzcarraldooo Fitz: Ace of Fire (Ace of Wands) (The Good Tarot)- Spirited and powered actions, incredibly feisty. A whole world of possibility is available to her, she has many paths open for her. She is encouraged to follow her heart and live her passion. She represents potential, but she has not fully sprouted yet. The seeds are planted though, so keep the hope!

#tarot #my friends #I love all of y'all and I hope that this gives you some inspiration #or at the very least some advice! #witchcraft

[northcountry39]

QOTS 3x02 Tarot Symbolism

Welcome to part two of my QOTS Season 3 tarot card meta! (part one HERE) This time I’m looking at episode 3.02, which is titled “El Colgado” or “The Hanged Man.” There are lots of different facets to interpret here, so let’s dive in!

Briefly, the card depicts a man hanging upside down from a tree branch by his right ankle. This was a method of punishment for traitors in Italy at the time of the tarot’s origin, but this Hanged Man is alert, alive, and there by his own free will. He understands that his suspended position is a sacrifice he needs to make in order to move forward.

As such, one of the main themes of the card is surrendering control to move forward, letting go of the past, and being vulnerable and open. This flows nicely from last episode’s Hermit theme, where Teresa is struggling with isolation, delegating, and trusting others to carry out her business. The key to finding happiness is to practice “non-attachment”, which doesn’t refer to a lack of love or compassion but rather to overcoming the desire for something, like standing apart from the rest of the world. 

When James appears on the scene, she is initially angry and mistrustful (and understandably so), but by the end of the episode she’s decided to “let him in.” This act of acceptance, whatever the caveats (“it’s not a partnership”), shows that Teresa is willing to put aside their past disagreements and move forward, allowing herself to be vulnerable by bringing him inside (both the business and her life, generally).

Related to this theme, the Hanged Man can also symbolize a dilemma or period of indecision, and that could certainly represent Teresa’s struggles with whether or not to trust James. This episode focuses heavily on their relationship (past, present and future): Teresa locks him in the trunk, but he busts himself out and saves her by jumping through a window (!!). She’s still not convinced, citing past betrayals, but lets him tag along as they flee the safehouse. Then they get captured, and she tells him how she wants to trust him but barely knows him. And yet despite all this ongoing angst, she still tries to protect him, and by the end of the episode she finally agrees to let him stick around.  Quite the rollercoaster.

In a love reading, the Hanged Man can indicate that someone is uncertain about what they want or how they are feeling about the other person. Teresa definitely has to struggle with her complicated feelings for James – all the baggage of their past interactions, his perceived betrayals, the trust and affection (and attraction) they shared, what he’s really doing in Malta, etc. 

In another sense, the card also relates to martyrdom, self-sacrifice, and putting others before yourself. Pote embodies this aspect of the Hanged Man by refusing to give Teresa up despite being horribly tortured. James also throws himself through a window to save Teresa and refuses to leave her when they’re captured. Likewise, Teresa tries to give herself up so James can go free. Lots of self-sacrifice going around!

The Hanged Man does not outright symbolize death, but it can symbolize change and upheaval in the future - the old “dies” to give way to the new. The card can indicate that there are difficult times ahead, which there certainly are for Teresa and the gang in the next episode (showdown at the bank, rescuing the girls), and that a sacrifice will have to be made to move forward (losing her business in Malta to stay true to what she believes is right). Going forward, the Hanged Man would tell her that she should be open to new perspectives and to let go of the need to control everything.

Thanks for listening, and I would love to hear your thoughts if you have anything to add. :) Thanks to @mymostimaginaryfriend for your input. Again, I’m not a tarot expert or anything, just enjoying the research! 

#queen of the south #qots #qots meta #this one was a little more complex #but i hope it makes sense #let me know if you agree or disagree! #kat rambles about tarot symbolism #my posts