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eddiezpaghetti · 3 months

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It has come to my attention that SOME OF YOU who read my last Byler post remain UNCONVINCED. So I'm gonna tack onto it this:

I'm older than fucking God and air, and I've been out and proud since 2007. Yes, I know what homophobia is, and yes, I know what queerbaiting is. I know about Supernatural and Teen Wolf and Sherlock and blahdyblahdyblah. No new ground is being covered here. I thought I made that clear in the original post, but, clearly, I did not.

I am aware of queerbaiting and homophobia, and I'm still wholeheartedly certain in Byler being canon anyway.

Okay, so there are three types of relationship I want to discuss when it comes to queerbaiting. They're all, like, "queer relationships that could have happened, but didn't".

First off, queer-coding. This isn't really a thing so much anymore, but it still crops up every once in a while. I'd argue it probably happens most with male-male relationships in family shows these days. First example that comes to mind is Mr. Smiley and Mr. Frowny from Steven Universe. You can't make a relationship canon because some shitty overhead bastard overhead said no, so you get as close as you can without compromising the show. Can't make someone gay? Well, now their comedy routine is a blatant allegory for a romantic relationship. Boom-shaka-laka. This is something I don't see being a problem with regards to Stranger Things, but I want it to be there as contrast, a demonstration of one of many things queerbaiting is not. However, one could argue that, thus far, Will Byers is, canonically, queer-coded. It's pretty fucking heavily implied in the show, and the creators have confirmed it, and you're gonna be able to see it if you're not FUCKING BLIND, but word of god is not technically canon which means that interviews don't technically make something canon, blahdyblahdyblahdyblah, technicalities, Robin has been explicitly stated in the text to be queer while Will has, thus far, not, outside of good ol' Show-Don't-Tell. Of course, anyone with two brain cells to rub together can tell that that's going to change by the end of Season 5, but, hey, for what it's worth, I'm throwing this out there.

Alrighty, Thingamajingama Number Two: "Oops, I accidentally made the greatest love story known to man." AKA, a genuine, honest-to-goodness mistake. Unfortunately, we do live in a heteronormative society. Sometimes people who don't think about being gay much write a friendship that's incredibly compelling and don't even consider the possibility that it could have been read as romantic. Something something Top Gun something. This is, again, not queerbaiting. This is Steddie, this is Ronance, this is Elmax, this is your favorite flavor of non-canon ship this week, this is not Byler. The creators know DAMN well what they're doing. They've talked about it. We know this. Nothing new here.

Which brings us to the topic of discussion here. Actual queerbaiting. This usually starts out as an "accidental greatest love story", and then reacts to fan response. And when I say "reacts", I mean like a goddamn chemical reaction. Like bleach and ammonia, bitch. It's noxious and it's gonna kick your fucking ass without mercy. This is when a creator is like, "Hey, let's get our queer audience invested, but we're not actually going to give them what they want because our straight audience isn't here for that/we personally think it's gross/we don't give enough of a shit to want to research a goddamn thing to write a real gay character," blah blah blah whatever excuse they want to come up with this time.

And when you think "queerbaiting", I want you to think "bullying". Because that's what it is. It's lucrative bullying, like beating us up and taking our lunch money, but it's bullying all the same. And it's a real goddamn thing, even if people misuse the word a lot, often when they mean one of the two above, sometimes when they mean "bury your gays", which is another homophobic thing entirely that I'm not going to get into here. Queerbaiting is the thing we're focused on, and it's real, and it's bullying. And here's the reason I want you to think of it as bullying:

They

Think

It's

Funny.

They are actively making fun of us.

That's why Dean had the "Cas, get out of my ass," line in Supernatural. It's why the "Do you like boys?" line happened in Teen Wolf. It's why "Lie with me, Watson," happened in the RDJ Sherlock Holmes movies. Because "It's just a joke, mate." "It was just a prank, bro." "You didn't really think it would happen, did you?" "You should see your face."

So here's probably the biggest reason I don't think it's specifically queerbaiting in this specific instance of Will Byers and Mike Wheeler.

Stranger Things has never, not once, made a gay joke. Ever.

Every single time queerness comes up, it's dead serious.

Lonnie calls Will a fag, and the show is not at all reluctant to show what a goddamn horrible person he is. And when Hopper latches onto that, it's not as "Hahah, is he gay, though?" It's because he's trying to determine a potential motive for Will's disappearance, and even if someone had interpreted it as a joke, Joyce immediately has a line that functions as snapping her fingers in front of the audience's face and yelling "FOCUS" when she says "He's MISSING." Basically outright saying "This isn't funny!"

Troy calls him a fairy, along with targeting Lucas and Dustin for their skin color and disability respectively, and Mike gets damn near murderous. Troy is portrayed as a goddamn monster and the show portrays it as justice when El makes him piss his pants and later breaks his arm.

Steve calls Jonathan "queer" as a slur and gets the shit beat out of him for it.

Billy's father is revealed to be homophobic and abusive in the same breath.

Mike says "It's not my fault you don't like girls!" and we're shown how devastated Will is and Mike immediately follows him to beg for forgiveness.

There is a joke in Robin's coming-out scene, but it's not at Robin's expense. It's at Steve's. Specifically for being heteronormative.

Jonathan has multiple scenes where he's trying so hard to tell Will that he's always going to love him as he is, whether he's gay or not, without pressuring him to come out before he's ready.

Even when there's a little bit of ribbing at Robin's expense, it's always because she's an awkward nerd who's nervous around pretty girls, just the same as Lucas and Dustin are teased when they both first develop crushes on Max, and even then, even then, it always comes as a package deal where they make fun of Steve's girl problems at the same time.

Stranger Things is an emphatically pro-gay show. It may not be the core point of the show the way it is in, say, Our Flag Means Death, but there is nothing less than respect for its queer characters. Its queer characters are always taken completely seriously. No one is making fun of us. They never have. That's why I have serious doubts that this is queerbaiting. It would come completely out of left field for the bullying to start in Stranger Things' final season.

So it's not at all likely to be queerbaiting because queerness is taken completely seriously. The creators have talked about Will's queerness, at least, so it's not an accident. And queer-coding would be silly to expect from this show when it's already on its final season. Like, what is Netflix gonna do? Cancel it? Not to mention all the explicit queerness that's in there already. And no one's gonna "What about the children?" a show that's had sex scenes in it since the first season.

There's no fakeout here. It's gonna happen. Breathe.

#byler #Part 2 I fucking guess.#Wasn't planning on making a Part 2 but here we are.#I seriously just want you guys to feel safe.#I'm not naive. I do not say any of this shit lightly.#But I've been around the block long enough to know what queerbaiting looks like and this ain't it. Promise.#Will's already been confirmed as in love with Mike for fuck's sake. You don't think the other half of the equation's gonna follow through?#There has only ever been one other situation where I've gone 'Okay this is going in gay places' with no doubt whatsoever without being told #And that was with Daja in Tamora Pierce's 'Will of the Empress' when I read it at like sixteen or whatever #and she wound up having whole-ass fuckin' gay sex.#I was right then and I'm right now. I swear.

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foolsocracy · 10 days

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I can't help but notice you haven't posted any angst in a while and I'm suspicious

whipped this one up just for u anon

#a guy can only post 3 happy artworks before the people get concerned.....#LMAOOO jokes jokes #heres a .. colored sketch?#anyway behold the recurring dream ive given pete where hes ummmmmmmmmmmm inside uncle bens ribcage #i think abt it all the time but ive never actually done anything w it so here we go #blood #gore #not actually i dont think but im straying on the safe side #i messed around w it enough where u cant even see any organs or anything (much)#bones #idk #skeleton #i feel like thats everything maybe #ask to tag #might make a nice finished piece w this who knows #anon #asks #thanks for the ask!#glad to know angst is still my brand #such is life as a noir blog #peter benjamin parker #spiderman noir #spider man noir #spider noir #my art #bOOM thats so many tags #double art night guys who cheered #this and the stupid ass music one LMAOO the range #made this in an hour and a half lets see what i think of it in the morning when i wake up lol

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inkerii · 1 year

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So I couldn't help but browse the THG tag bc those books own my whole heart. I actually check it now and again, and it's been interesting see how opinions have changed over the years, especially in regards to Gale and Peeta. Going through the evolution of them as just potential love interests to being far more complex than I could have expected has been a wild ride. Crazy how this reads different than from when I was a preteen.

That said, I wanted to give my unsolicited two cents on my boys, because though I have been enjoying the discussion on Peeta and Gale and what they mean to the story, I also feel like reducing them to Peeta = peace and Gale = war is far too simplistic... and oftentimes unfair to one or both of them.

See, I don't think Peeta and Gale are peace and war/destruction. They're compassion and indignation.

Peeta worries about the other tributes, or their families, or how to repay people like Rue and Thresh for what they did.

Gale is indignation at how the Capitol treats its citizens, it's anger at the injustice of inequality and brutality.

Both are needed in a story like THG. You can't have people like even Peeta not say something like "maybe we're wrong about keeping things quiet in the districts", you can't have him not drop the baby bomb, you can't start a revolution without Gale's indignation at the status quo. At deserving a better life but being denied it, at having your kids be mercilessly killed for literal sport.

However, if you start a rebellion and loose sight of your compassion, you end up no better than the people you're fighting against. Gale wasn't a bad person, imo. His heart was in the right place. He was flawed, yes, but so is everyone in this series. Gale, most importantly, lost sight of the line between fighting for the people he cared about and fighting against the people who hurt him.

Reducing Gale's indignation to just revenge and hatred ignores so much of what he stands for. Who hasn't seen laws passed that dehumanize people, who hasn't been angry and furious when someone is elected who fundamentally hates everything you are, who doesn't think some people need to pay for the atrocities they committed? There's a little bit of Gale in every single one of us - and it's important that it's there, because that's what gives us strength to challenge the status quo and make life better for the future generations.

But. You can't let it take over. You can't loose sight of your compassion or your empathy.

That's where Peeta comes in. Peeta is the voice in your head that worries about how many good lives will be lost when they give themselves up for this cause. Peeta is the worry about the people caught in the crossfire. Peeta is rebuilding when it's over and believing that the next generation will have a better life than your own. Peeta is being kind, even to people who may not deserve it.

And Gale... Gale looses sight of his compassion, and he doesn't realize it until it smacks him in the face when the bombs go off and Prim is gone and he's too far gone. Meanwhile, Peeta advocates for the end of the war even though it means the status quo remains - and regardless of what he believes himself, I don't think Suzanne chose him to say those lines by chance. It means both mindsets have their flaws: too kind and things that shouldn't remain will never be challenged and changed, too angry and you may loose sight of what you're fighting for.

And that's just how Suzanne uses her characters, both of them, all of them. Just look at who is with Katniss depending on the situation:

- Katniss chooses to "rebel" after Gale is brutally whipped. She kisses him.

- Katniss realizes that in order for D12 to rebel, everyone would need to be in on it, and she realizes most of them are not like her, that they're scared and she understands, emphasises with them. Peeta walks by her side.

- Katniss finally does it though, shoots the arrow at the force field, and Peeta is taken from her, it's now Gale by her side.

(You can't start a rebellion without indignation, and sometimes you HAVE to do it or things will never change, regardless of the inevitable pain that will come along.)

- Katniss is righteously angry at the Capitol bombing a hospital full of innocents to make a point. Gale remains there.

- Coin twists people's compassion into an army to fight for her own personal gain. Peeta is hijacked and looses his sense of self.

- Katniss and Gale go to District 2 and even though she tries to be like Peeta, she's still shot- reinforcing Gale's views, the person who was with her during that sequence.

- Katniss is angry at Snow, Katniss goes to the Capitol to kill him. Gale is there.

- Katniss gets in way over her head and realizes she is responsible for the death of most of her squad. She shares the lamb stew with Peeta, and later cleans his wounds.

- Finnick dies and she's at her lowest up until that point and all she wants to do is give up and give in to the anger. She kisses Peeta and begs him to stay with her.

... Claiming that Gale is destruction ignores the fact that he's with Katniss through her own moments of strength. Her desire to change things, to fight back, is as important as her compassion. Mockingjay just brutally shows you what war does to your indignation, to your compassion. How easy it is to cross a line between righteous anger and revenge, or how your sense of empathy and compassion can be manipulated into something monstrous by others, or by all the terrible, brutal, painful things you see.

How easy it is to loose yourself- and that goes for both of them.

Peeta and Gale aren't static characters, they go from representations of sentiments regarding an injust government to what happens to those feelings when an extreme situation such as war breaks out. All of that, by the way, while dealing with this duality themselves, because they are still characters who think and feel and struggle and have flaws of their own- and while I love what they stand for, I've seen too many comments that pin everything into what they mean, that they forget that Peeta and Gale are still people, they aren't perfect metaphors. They're human.

Ultimately, Katniss doesn't really choose peace. She wants peace, yes. But what she chooses is compassion. empathy. hope. There's a time and place for anger at injustice. There's a time when fighting back is the right thing to do. There are even times when you wanna give in to your despair and lash out. But if you want peace, then you have to choose Peeta, because Peeta represents what you need to focus on to achieve that peace. You have to let go of the anger or you won't ever rest. So Gale leaves, and does not come back... And yet, Katniss still has her moments of indignation, of making a stand, even as he goes - she still casts her vote at that meeting, she still shoots Coin. Katniss does not abandon that part of who she is. It's just not her main drive anymore.

So then she goes on to make the choice, every single day, to be compassionate to others. To have hope. To rebuild. Of course she chooses Peeta.

... Idk, man. These boys are so much more than what I see them so often reduced to. They're in all of us. There will be times to stand and fight, and times to show mercy and be kind. We just need to find that balance, as Katniss eventually did.

#the hunger games #thg #katniss everdeen #peeta mellark #gale hawthorne #it took me over a decade but I finally bit the bullet and decided to talk about this series #I love it so much #there's so much more I could say I had to hold myself back #like how BOTH Gale and Peeta are never fully gone even tho most people only focus on Peeta #But Gale knew what he did was wrong #It's not as clear bc he's not a pov character and katniss is too tired to try and read him but #prim's death touched him #he didn't brush it off he didnt see it as justified bc at least now its over #regardless of his reasons he still has enough sense of self to realize this #unlike y'know. characters like coriolanus who makes up so many excuses for what he did #including indirectly killing the character who is the personification of innocence and hope #like prim was #(side note I dont think any of the tbosas characters are direct parallels to the thg ones)#(theres little bits of katniss peeta AND gale in characters like snow)#(bc they're all representative of indignation and anger / compassion / fear and the need to feel safe)#(which every human being in the world has - even that bastard)#(he just chooses a different path)#(tbosas is very good btw)#(y'all should read it before the movie makes it about romance like I'm terrified it will)#ps if anyone knows how to put a read more on mobile can you let me know thx ily

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iraprince · 2 months

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Hiii, i love your stuff and kinda from a distance really look up at you for, in my perception, being able to express yourself without giving a fuck. Thats sick dude, Im so so afraid, of absolutely everything, its nice to think like i might grow into someone less apologetic of my existence. Nice to see people just being yknow

hey, thank you, this is really really nice. the secret that is probably not a secret is that i am also deeply afraid a lot of the time lmao -- but less than i used to be, and in ways that feel less stifling and self-suffocating, if that makes sense.

like, it used to be "i'm scared that if i express myself the way i want to, everyone will find me obnoxious, so let's just sand those edges down to be safe" -- now my fears are more like "now that i'm expressing myself in a way that feels natural and real, i'm afraid that it's all stupid/vapid/not worthwhile or meaningful" (<- specifically abt my art) or "i'm happy that i talk and act the way i want to now, but what if it makes me impossible to befriend," etc etc etc. which still feels bad and puts me in a funk a lot of the time but at least it's a fear that comes After/in reaction to doing stuff, rather than a fear that STOPS me from doing stuff, you know? like, it's evolved into a kind of fear that's less in my way.

anyway. i believe you'll experience something like this, because wanting to grow is the first step of growing. the fact that u hope or wish for something different means you're already on your way. to fewer fucks!! or at least distributing the fucks u give in a way that serves u better

#stuff like accepting that i'm reserved and i'm not very accessible via messages.#or that my online tone isn't very bubbly and it's weird and uncomfortable to force it.#i stop letting fears about that shape my behavior ('i'll look mean or snotty so let's force markers of Friendliness to avoid that!!') -#- and instead act the way i want to and then trade it in for new fears that come After the action.#also a good reminder to give urself is that if ur fear is abt how other ppl perceive u (as 90% of mine is personally)#u really... can't actually control that. and being very very anxious abt it all the time is usually ur brain throwing a tantrum abt not--#--having that control. bc it is understandably very scary that u don't have that control #as much as it sucks + is terrifying the truth is the only thing u can do is ask urself 'am i behaving in a way that i'm proud of'#'am i behaving in a way that's in alignment w my values + what i think is important'#bc if the answer to that is yes and somebody hates u or is deeply offended by ur existence anyway. well. literally not ur problem #but obv being at peace w that is way way easier said than done + requires tons of practice and will take. probably. years. which is fine #i am stuck with myself. i can either contort myself forever trying to be someone everyone will like and find totally nonthreatening and-#inoffensive and in the process exhaust myself totally and never feel safe or natural myself. OR #i can say okay. so i am a kind of prickly guy with stern and drab speech patterns and close to no social energy. and i think i can still be #-sexy and fun this way. and it is up to other ppl to figure out if they can agree w me on that #ANYWAY enough rambling for now. just another one of those things i think abt a lot so i have a lot of ready-made sentences abt it in mind

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finntheehumaneater · 4 months

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“It’s all YOUR fault!”

For the ask game 🙏

Hallo, love!!!

this isn’t necessarily Steddie, but I hope you enjoy!!!

angst prompt list | hurt/comfort prompt list | nice scenarios list (more about the asks in my pinned post)

CW: mention of drugs, guns, weed, alcoholism, animal abuse (but it’s more like neglect than abuse), and smoking, implied sexual activity

Max was nearly over the neighbor’s fence—the chair she had brought outside was tipping out from underneath her, but maybe she could just climb back over the fence afterwards—when the chair finally gave out and she fell backwards onto the cold grass, feeling the wind knocked out of her. “Shit—“

She gasped, turning over onto her stomach and pushing herself up, trying to breathe, but her lungs wouldn’t take in air. There was the sound of a car door opening and closing, silence, and then muffled cursing, followed by the sound of crunching on gravel. She ignored it, bending over and coughing out another gasp, her hair falling into her eyes. “Fucking shit—“

“Jesus, kid,” a voice muttered, and she saw someone kneel next to her, an orange flannel and a corduroy jacket flashing out of the corner of her eyes, and she felt a hand press against her back, rubbing against the fabric of her shirt. “You tryin’ to get yourself killed?”

Max finally sucked in a breath and coughed, folding over again. The hand stayed on her back, pressed against it gently, until she whipped around and glared at the person. It was Wayne. She didn’t really know Wayne, but his nephew had brought over food, once, and ate with her in her front yard. He made her hair smell like cigarettes from how much he had been smoking, but he seemed nice enough.

“I’m fine,” she snapped, waving Wayne’s hands off when he went to help her up. She could stand on her own, she wasn’t a fucking kid. Wayne looked at her, then to the chair, and then to the small white dog on the other side of the fence.

He raised an eyebrow, looking her over as she dusted the dirt off of her hands “You tryna steal the neighbor’s dog?”

“No—“ she said quickly. “I mean—whatever, why do you care?”

“Because I know the person who lives here, and I don’t think he’ll take kindly to havin’ his dog stolen,” Wayne said quietly, crossing his arms and leaning back slightly. He looked tired.

“What, is he going to fucking shoot me or something?” She bit back, but her eyes widened slightly when Wayne nodded. She sighed and looked back over at the dog. She didn’t know his name, so she had just been calling him Jamie. “He doesn’t…he doesn’t feed him, I know it. I have to do it. And I don’t think he gives him much water, either. He’s out here all the time.”

“Hm. Well, how about we go talk to him before we try and take his dog away, hm?”

“He deserves to have his dog—“ Max cut herself off when Wayne narrowed his eyes slightly. She looked down and glared at the grass beneath her sneakers. It was cold out here.

“You go put the chair back, and I’ll get my nephew. He knows Briar better than I do. Might be able to talk some sense into him.” Wayne muttered, sighing. Max watched as he walked off, before dragging the chair back towards the back door of her trailer. She managed to get it back through the door without making too much noise, putting it back at the table.

She went back into the living room quickly, just to make sure her mom was still there—and she was, passed out on the couch with a couple empty beer bottles scattered on the floor, her red hair plastered to her forehead with sweat. Max left her there, half-falling off of the couch. She still had her high-heels on.

Max grabbed her jacket and then ran back outside, across the street to the Munson’s trailer. The air around the place smelled like weed. She knocked on the door and waited. No one answered. Fuck it, she thought, pushing the door open and stepping inside.

Wayne was sitting on the couch, his feet up on the coffee table, drinking from a mug that looked like Garfield’s head. She always knew the old man was weird, but now she just thought he was fucking crazy. “Where’s Eddie?”

“Getting dressed. He’s in his room if you want to go knock. See if he’s done.”

Max huffed and looked around. Wayne’s trailer had the same set up as hers—and it looked the same as hers, too, mostly. Cluttered. Messy. But with a lot more mugs and mechanic magazines. She walked down the hallway to where her room was and knocked. There was faint music coming from inside, and it smelled like cigarette smoke. It was the kind of music Billy had listened to. Fuck, no, she wasn’t going to think about that asshole anymore. It wouldn’t bring him back—not like she wanted him back. He had nearly killed her ex-boyfriend…well…she wasn’t actually sure what they were to each other, right now.

Sometimes she would go and see Lucas when she went over to Dustin’s, and they would laugh and everything would be fine—and then other times she didn’t want anything to do with him, resenting the idea of even being in the same school building as him. She missed Lucas.

“Yeah, yeah, hold on,” She heard Eddie mutter, and there was another voice in there, too, but she couldn’t hear it over the music.

“I know, sweetheart, hold on,” Eddie said, and Max narrowed his eyes. “Gotta do something for Wayne, then I’ll be back.”

Was he with a girl or something? Gross. The door opened and there Eddie was, looking annoyed and a bit disheveled, his Iron Maiden t-shirt half tucked into his black jeans, his hair messed up and kind of sweaty looking. “Can I help you?”

“Wayne said you’d talk to Briar for me,” Max said, glaring at him, feeling a bit awkward with the way he was looking at her. Eddie sighed, looking back when a voice asked, “Eds? Who’s that?”

Max’s eyes widened slightly and she pushed past Eddie, who made a noise of protest, trying to grab her arm and tug her back. She hit his hand away, and her eyes widened slightly when she saw Steve, shirtless in Eddie’s bed, his hair pushed back, blinking sleep out of his eyes. “What the fuck?”

She looked back at Eddie, whose face was flushed bright red as he looked away. Steve noticed Max and made a quiet ‘oh’ sound, before giving her an apologetic smile. “Hey.”

“You know what—Steve, you and I can talk about this later. Eddie, let’s go.”

She grabbed Eddie’s wrist and pulled him outside, her heart nearly beating out of her chest. Not because of the fact that Eddie was sleeping with a guy who was practically her babysitter, but because she was afraid of what Briar was going to say.

“Why are we talking to Mr. Jones, anyways?” Eddie muttered, rubbing his eyes and sighing as Max led him to the front door of Briar’s trailer.

“His dog.”

“What about?”

She knocked on the door and then turned back to Eddie. “He doesn’t take care of him. He leaves him outside everyday, and I’ve been feeding him so that he doesn’t starve.”

Eddie’s eyes widened slightly as he looked concerned. “Shit, Mayfield, I don’t think we should—“

The door opened, and there was Briar. He was tall, with whisky brown hair and a scowl across his face. “The fuck you kids want?”

Eddie cleared his throat and pushed Max behind him a bit. Max kicked at his leg, and Eddie winced, glaring at her, but he moved his hand. He turned back to face Briar and sighed, giving him a small, strained smile. “Hey, Mr. Jones. How’s it going?”

“Munson? I didn’t ask to buy anything—“

“I know, I know, I’m not here with weed. We, um…it’s about your dog?”

“Benny?”

Eddie nodded, and Max stepped back out from behind him, ignoring him as he tried to pull her back. “How often do you feed him?”

“What?”

“How often do you feed Jami—Benny?”

Briar turned around, glancing in the direction of the backyard. “Dunno. Every few days, I guess.”

“Well, he needs more food than that,” Max snapped, because I’ve been feeding him every night for the past few months.”

“Mayfield,” Eddie hissed, trying to tug her back, but she ignored him, taking a step closer to Briar.

“You know, I don’t think you should even have your dog, at this point.”

Briar’s eyes narrowed, and he looked down at Max. She stayed where she was. Eddie tugged her back, and she tried to get him to let go, but he just held onto her arm even tighter—tight enough to hurt. “I’m sorry we bothered you, sir. I hope you have a good rest of your evening.”

Briar nodded and closed the door, and Max whirled on Eddie, her eyes watering. “What the fuck?”

“Mayfield—“

“No, shut up! This—this is all your fault! He’s not going to listen if you don’t let me talk to him!” She screamed, and she knew she was being too loud, because someone in one of the trailers across from him opened their door to look out at what was going on, a cigarette pinched between their lips.

Eddie grabbed her shoulder and his expression softened, but his voice was still stern. “Look—I’ve been here a lot longer than you have. And I know Mr. Jones. He’s not going to listen to you, no matter how much you scream at him. I’ll talk to him for you. Tell him all about the dog. Okay?”

Max nodded, willing her tears not to fall. “Whatever.”

“You going back to your place, or do you need to stay at mine?”

Max’s cheeks flushed. She had only stayed over once, when Eddie was out somewhere and it was just Wayne, but she had been too tired to remember it. She felt angry that Wayne had told Eddie about that, but she didn’t say anything about that. “Not after what you and Steve did in there. You’re going to need to burn your bed.”

“Oh, fuck off.” Eddie muttered, rolling his eyes, and Steve stepped back, pushing his hands off of her.

“You’re such a child.”

“Says the literal child.”

“I am not—“ She cut herself off and sucked in a deep breath, sighing. “I’ll see you tomorrow, Eddie. Tell Wayne…and Steve…I said goodnight.”

Eddie looked a bit surprised, like he expected Max to snap at him again the second he let his guard down. He nodded, turning and going back to her trailer.

Max went back to hers. She hauled her mom back up onto the couch, turning the light off in the living room and picking up the boor bottles to put in the recycling. She took her pills, praying that she wouldn’t wake up with another headache—or have another nightmare—and didn’t bother changing for bed.

The next morning, coming home from school, she saw Briar walking Benny down the street.

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uncanny-tranny · 8 months

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Your influence in this world doesn't need to be all-encompassing and World Changing. It can be small ripples. It can be gentle and easily missed.

Let yourself do small things. So often, people have this idea that to do "good things," it must be a grand gesture that changes every little thing. Honestly, that can be so intimidating and scary. We weren't meant to carry the world by ourselves. We each contribute, often in small ways, often in ways that aren't seen by everybody. But the people you affect might just take that kindness you gave them and let it light them home. Let yourself be that in whatever way you want. You don't need to carry the world alone.

#positivity #encouragment #encouraging words #ngl i gave a customer a lot of food for free because i could tell they were down on their luck and they deserve to eat #and i hope i contributed to them realizing this world will cherish them and they aren't forgotten #because it's scary not knowing if you can eat or drink or if you will be safe enough to sleep and while i don't know their story...#...does it matter if i do? i will do whatever i can to make sure the people around me are well-fed and taken care of #i think small things like this are honestly what make this life worth living #i don't think i would want to be here if it were not for moments like these #it's never not worth it to do what you can/are comfortable doing #and i hope it can come back around to reward you tenfold <3 #i used to labour under the idea that Changing the World is the only way you can 'be good'#and that made me scared to do small things like this. and i partially regret that. but i don't blame myself or anybody else who feel...#...the way i did. doing 'good things' can be scary and intimidating and it's okay to be uncertain or fearful. it's okay; i promise <3 #i just wanted to remind somebody that you don't have to change the world in one fell swoop. it's okay to Just Be #i love you (platonically) if you have read this far. i hope you do something kind for yourself #you - too - deserve good things. you deserve kindness and satisfaction and wonder

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easays · 10 months

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maybe we're not there yet, but the Grief and Loss Dynamics in Worlds Beyond Number are so devastating

suvi's commitment to hierarchy and knowledge so clearly shows how a child will internalize grief and trauma as something that can be avoided, if only they can control things and know better

ame's light and sweetness so painfully feels like the kind of grief that you hold onto that tricks you into believing it won't hurt so bad if you just don't look backwards -- for all her commitment to both worlds, to honoring the past and forging the future, ame still walks through the world with more items anyone could conceivably carry so that she never has to leave anything (anyone) behind

and eursulon -- oh, baby, eursulon. eursulon reminds me so clearly of what grief and trauma does to the way someone moves in the world when they know, bone deep, that their own skin and their own fear are the only things they can count on -- that joy is a thing meant to leave and it's not something you can design your life around

I know it's just a podcast -- but I just...have a lot of feelings

#worlds beyond number #brennan lee mulligan #aabria iyengar #lou wilson #erika ishii #suvi “all i've made are hard decisions” kedberiket vs every door #ame #eursulon #do you think eursulon ever sleeps halfway out of windows just to try and capture that summer one more time?#does suvi (for a time) try to learn more about witches because she worries that she won't know how to keep grandmother wren and ame safe?#does she only stop when she realizes that learning more would require making a choice she can't make?#is ame carrying everything with the knowledge that you can't make amends with the world if you have nothing to offer #and she's not quite sure if she's enough to qualify just on her own? if she was enough then why would they leave?#I have a lot of feelings about this show I need to be left alone

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befuddled-calico-whump · 4 months

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So what if Ander had kept a journal when he first got to the place. And what if it were in the library. And Joy had found it, and read it. It has no mention of him being Sahota, but it does have “Ander” written at the front. What if Joy came up to Sahota and asked “Who is Ander?” What then?

as the resident Brooding Guy he'd probably answer with "Ander is dead."

...which isn't entirely a lie, symbolically speaking. He'd try to redirect further questions, but if she pushed him enough, he might give some more vague details that only make Joy more curious.

She might theorize with the rest of the crew, and talk about the possibility of a third teammate who was mysteriously killed, probably by Vic, possibly on purpose. Of course this would drive everyone up the wall if they ever found out that Ander is Sahota.

#shit shit shit this is actually really juicy #t$$ is in its draft stage ofc byt whenever i get around to finishing and editing it i might add this as a subplot #because it ties in the sahota mystery without needing to refer to my alt account #the only thing holding me back is that idk if ander would feel safe enough to have a 'diary' since he'd be scared of Shepard finding it #buuuut i can work around that and make it really vague #another lecel of mystery will be achieved!!#thank you anon 🥺🥺#one day ill add it #anon #t$$ ask

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circular-bircular · 2 months

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Good lord. Alright.

You cannot be supportive of DID if you’re ableist to anti-endos.

That’s it. That’s the post. No more syscourse for me tonight.

#lilac bound hauntings #I’m not sure how the others do this so regularly to be frank #Tumblr syscourse is so… Yikes!#And of the 2 public servers I feel safe enough to mention syscourse in only one has what feels like non-stressful conversations #syscourse

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gregoftom · 1 year

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pretty sure i’ve seen romance movies with scenes like this

#tomgreg #where do i even start with t his horseshit okay here we fucking go.#so tom's first instinct is to go to greg when he's on shaky ground with shiv. the only way he feels safe is to have GREG with him.#who tf would want greg as an attack dog??!?!? lets be fucking real. when he says that i think he means just a dog. just someone loyal.#who loves him and won't dick him around. i think he's pretty tired of it by now.#he wants an alliance with like. ok in this show who would you pick to ally with. i love greg but he's abso useless in terms of skills that #would keep you safe. if anything TOM would keep HIM safe. in fact tom himself says who else has taken care of you. literally spells it out.#he even says greg is a joke; will fail; will fuck up; so what use does he have for tom other than companionship. other than love?#a dog might do tricks for you but your main reason for getting one is usually love. right? at least it should be. it would be in tom's case.#and don't even fucking get me STARTED on ''do you wanna come with me? ...sporus?" like girl.#you know what you told him about nero and sporus right. and now you're saying to him; yeah i was talking about you.#you and me. you're my favourite and i wasn't joking when i said i'd marry you.#the whole while tom is asking greg to be his attack dog his fuckin. eyes and expression we get it you're in love with him. like it's ridic.#and all this coming with phrasing it sounds like they're fucking ELOPING. I HATE IT!!!!!! SHUT UP! stop saying that fucking shit god. god #they are so annoying. anyway #the way tom's voice breaks as he says he has things to do [what things. will i find out later.] and the deal and!!#what am i gonna do with a soul anyways... i have you what do i need it for. and as that paragraph said somewhere. he castrates his soul.#then they giggle and are fucking annoying and greg'S HANDS LOOK LIK EHE'S ABOUT TO IDK. HUG TOM? AROUND THE MIDDLE MAYBE #or do something else. and then they just hug instead and i fucking. ugh. i've had enough tbh good fucking bye

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ardentpoop · 25 days

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you guys really don’t get him tbfh

#I would’ve felt bad drowning this one bc op’s heart is in the right place lol #but dean stans Please stop flattening him as a character. he’s so much more interesting when you accept that he sucks #and it’s always ppl who paid no attention to sam who react to jack as if his arc was brand new to the show #as if the way dean abused jack wasn’t a 1:1 reflection of how he treated sam in s4-s5 #dean doesn’t make ppl feel safe lmfao that isn’t his priority. his priority is keeping them (sam) alive by any means necessary #including means that violate mental and physical boundaries #and dean is only Good With Kids until they’re old enough to start doing things he disagrees with #sam is the one who connects with the troubled teens and the kids who hate their families #dean connects with kids who are young enough to hero-worship him #this sounds super harsh but. you can even take his relationship with ben alone as an example #spn

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astridthevalkyrie · 3 months

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everything you see ab being the oldest daughter is true btw why am i the family therapist AND punching bag smh

long ass depressing rant in the tags srry i got a wee bit emotional

#my dad has something going on where there's a ringing in his ear my mom has tendonitis and neck pain now #and i feel for both of them i'm goin to cvs to get the meds giving my mom massages every night talking to my dad to distract him #they're both going to the correct doctors #but just throwing it out there i have had tendonitis and chronic upper back pain for 5-6 years and no one gave a shit most i've gotten is #jokes that i'm faking it #i'm in physical therapy for my back NOW but that's bc i finally crawled out of the depression long enough to do it myself #which is fine whatever i'm 22 i should be the one making my own appointments and it'd be weird if i wasn't #but when i was 16 or 17???#being hospitalized for STRESS HEADACHES at 14 too???#who gets hospitalized for that shit and how were my parents not concerned that i at the age of 14 was #so stressed out that my head was pounding all the time #and bc i'm the third parent who has to be the only emotional safe space #i don't say anything if my sisters are rude to me bc at least they feel safe enough around me to be rude to me #i have to listen to everyone and their momma's problems #i'm in law school!!! i do not need this i'm anxious all the time!!!#and if i'm not anxious i'm depressed!!!#my therapist point blank tells me shit like 'you're incredibly lonely' or 'you have way too much on your shoulders' and it makes me CRY #the most basic fucking observations that i KNOW but hearing someone else acknowledge it and not berate me fucking sends me into TEARS #i get messages from online friends here like 'hey i saw your post you don't deserve that' i physically cannot keep my eyes dry!!#every time i have any interaction ever i am at least a little uncomfortable bc i am always trying so hard to make sure i come off as kind #and not awkward or mean #i feel like everyone around me was given some kind of how to manual on life that i wasn't #and i KNOW this is not unique tons and tons of people feel like this #i know this is the depression and the anxiety and the possible autism i'm well aware #but then every couple of days my mom gets the brilliant idea to tell me i'm rude or lazy or whatever and i lose my shit #i just wanna sleep and write fanfics in the nicest way possible i hate everyone #i will try my best to not be mean to anyone bc no one deserves it but i am angry and i am constantly feeling the hurt of my inner child #my MOTHER threw a hardcover book at my HEAD when i was ten bc i had been reading and hid the book under the pillow #what the actual fuck????#my dad's response to any and everything is to deal with it

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wispythreads · 1 month

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I don't trust North we disagree on literally almost everything why does me attempting to still be a civil human being with the basics of decency lock Markus and her into a romance what the heck

#detroit become human #detroit become human spoilers #bit of play experience #literally I think I've only gotten her approval twice?#being sincere when Markus was trying to have alone time and successfully getting the trucks during the heist at the very beginning #Bring John with us? disapproval #turn away from her suggestions of violence (that she is constantly making at the slightest inconvenience)? disapproval #its mainly that last one actually #But I try to return the common decency of her expressing interest in Markus by asking her what her deal is?#suddenly they're lovers #I go back because I'm too frustrated with the fact I'm prompted to kiss her despite the fact that I'm still steadily gaining disapproval #and stick with the decision to not ask about her past #even though now that I know it Markus turning away saying “I'm going to talk to the humans” sucks and feels so bad #but don't just leave her to die when the army is baring down on her?#oh you guys are lovers again #even though you literally gain her disapproval yet again literally a moment later #like #?????????????????????#I don't dislike her enough to leave her to die but this is absolutely confounding to me #my version of Markus is literally opposed to her on almost everything #the one thing they can agree on is making sure Jericho is safe and making a better future for androids #why cant markus just dap up simon #<- screachogreilige addition that I agree with

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enden-k · 9 months

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im sorry to hear people are stomping all over your boundaries, big props to you for sticking up for yourself and putting your foot down. I hope you're doing ok (/gen)

on another, hopefully happier note, i noticed your info post mentions that you self ship! I'd love to hear about your favourite self ships if you're comfortable talking about them some time?

i actually never did or had interest in this but then haitham waltzed in so hes the first and only one (this whole thing flusters me so its smth i indulge in for myself in private by reading or daydreaming or sometimes i babble and ramble about him very in depth)

(most hkvthm things i draw is just me going 'wish that was me' and drawing it LMFAO)

ohh also same w kaveh but in a slightly different way than haitham (theyre both the only ones) i want them to hold hands. i want them to hold my hands. there

#i dont feel attraction to ppl irl mostly bc im just not comfortable around ppl #and the ones i am are my friends and theres obv no romantic attraction #so when i saw haitham and learned more and mroe of him and how he and i share so many traits and ideas and things it was #instant comfort and the feeling of being understood #that its like #if he was real i would seek out his warmth and presence instead of getting away frm it like with my ex partners when it was too much for me #knowing that he would understand me therefore knowing how to handle me without making me uncomfortable or upset #uhh so basically. he made me realize all i want is just someone who perfetly understands me and knows how to treat me #when to come close and when to give me space #perfectly knowing me and reading me #i cant speak and in the rare moments i am able to im often struggling to form my thoughts into sentences that make sense #so he would still understand and put together that garbled mess and know exactly what i mean #not misunderstanding and acusing me of things or tones i never said or used #ppl and things messed me up quite a bit in the past that im having trouble w lots of things unless im alone #only when im alone i feel truly comfortable and safe bc nothing can hurt or upset me but even then you kinda realize in some moments that #you actually want someone with you but it has to be smn you trust and who knows you inside out and all that #i dont have anyone like that and idk if i ever will but rn this character is jsut rotating in my head giving me these things i crave and #thats enough #sorry that was a lot of gay rambling there but yea idk if it sounds stupid or nah but my #mental health issues got way better and balanced ever since haitham so he really #grounds me and gives me strength and comfort to deal with things i would have be unable to do in the past year #bc even if i dont have smn who truly knows and understands me #inside me there is someone #reply #tags tbd #in case i get embarrassed LMFAO

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sidesteppostinghours · 3 months

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*whispering softly* it all comes back to you, you little shit

small analysis about why i think this is a really good song for fhr under the cut

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Is it really a complex or just lacking context/Why would someone go so far to be a walking lie?

this just. sums up step as a character. such a massive chunk of their story is exploring the identities they take up(puppet, step, and vsona) and the reasons why they use each one. why did step decide to be so many different people at once? is it safety? comfort? simply not knowing how to be anything else? the vagueness leaves it open for interpretation. a lot of the song is like this, which is why i find its really good for a wide variety of peoples steps.

Yeah, that don't sound like me/I don't think I'm that guy (enter beginner's guide)

technically not an analysis, but i have a really strong image of step singing all three lines (counting the one in the bracket as a line) with their three identities singing one line each if that makes sense.

Please, excuse our current appearance/I realize that it's quite a mess

this line can be taken as two things. either its step talking about themeselves– most likely post-heartbreak– and how theyre clearly not the hero they used to be. or the line can be about the rangers. the second interpretation makes more sense with the next lines:

And our deepest apologies for all of the noise/We're understaffed and we're over-stressed

i think with the previous lines being an interpretation of step, this dives more into their gripes with their villainy (eg, some steps are overworked, some steps are unsure of their own goals, some of them arent sure if they want to be a villain) and how the it affects their mental state ("the noise" in this case could refer to the stress and doubts, or if you want to get literal, it could be steps endless amounts of brain passengers).

with the rangers interpretation, though, i imagine it being one of them literally describing the state of the rangers at the moment. most likely ortega showing step the hq after the argent incident? in this case it could become a lot more sinister, since theres a lot of room for step to take advantage of the information ortega just handed them.

That I would lose (needed a change of pace)/Oh, I would lose/Between my left and right, one day I'd have to choose (gone without a chance)

honestly? this whole section is the kind of thing id imagine is running through steps mind 24/7. lots of missed opportunities, cutting back and forth, regrets everywhere you turn. and step still has to make a choice now to be better or worse than who they were the day before.

He found the man before him had died

looking in the mirror. finding a dead man. need i say more.

#funnily enough this was Not brought about by listening to the song itself #but i was listening to “against the kitchen floor” instead #and i got obsessed with this one section of the lyrics and amalyzed it and then i remembered this song existed #btw this whole album is extremely fhr coded #the only reason i havent made an animatic with this song yet is because theres no universal sidestep i can put for it #and that bothers me because this song embodies the concepts sidestep is built from #so it feels like a disservice to just use one sidestep #BTW THIS ALBUM HAUNTS ME EVERYWHERE I GO #NO MATTER WHAT FANDOM IM INTERESTED IN AT THE MOMENT IT FOLLOWS ME #MY OCS ARENT SAFE #NOT EVEN MY FRIENDS OCS ARE SAFE #LET ME FREE #pulp speaks #fhr #Spotify

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