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notnights · 2 months

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I'm so glad you like Kinger/Gangle! I agree that they would be very wholesome, and that Kinger would treat Gangle the same regardless of what mask she was wearing. And we saw how patient Gangle was with Kinger in the pilot, gently reminding him what they were doing, which just further adds to them being a wholesome ship.

I could see them just relaxing together, cuddling, and taking it in turns to ramble about things they like while the other listens intently. I think they would just be very sweet and gentle with each other, and it's so cute to think about!

Sorry for the little ramble, there's not many people who ship them, and I've seen some pretty nasty comments about the ship, so I don't often talk about it. But it's really nice to know that one of my favorite artists/writers really likes the ship too!

Yess all these things! Makes them cute. They're probably one of the only two in the pilot that are actually nice to each other to be honest. Maybe that's why I see them as sweet for each other.

It's so nice to hear you like my stuff too aww. Thank you. Since you mentioned writer, that probably means you've read that one ribboonnie fic of mine. Where now I will mention that there was intention when it came to the Kinger and Gangle scenes I wrote. Obviously that's a Jax/Gangle story but I slipped in some wholesome Kinger Gangle in there to feed my other wants. As for people being mean about them.. yeahh it's a shame! I think its valid to be critical of these problematics but folks tend to miss the point of it. Such as why an age difference between adults is problematic, and how that why doesn't apply to these two.

But also RagaJax is the second most popular pairing among ADC fans, and noone talk about the age gap there. (This is NOT me saying it should be deemed as problematic, just that it's kind of unfair this happens to one pairing but not another. )

#royalribbons #adc shipping

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comshipbracket · 2 months

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Antis DNI - Block the tag "comship" if this causes discomfort.

Remember, you are voting for the ship you prefer, not the ship you find more problematic

Propaganda for both ships under the cut.

Disclaimer: All ships (other than NozoCoco) on this bracket are FOLLOWER-SUBMITTED ships, the Mods do not always hold necessary knowledge to be aware of any errors or fanonizing what should be canon material that may arise.

Finncest Propaganda (Incest - Technically(?), Selfcest, Toxic Dynamic, Arguably Age Gap - Grass demon is of indeterminate age)

"Finn loves all of his selves, and Fern just wants to be Finn. They should've kissed instead.

Fern's existence as an alternate Finn is tragic to start. He's a time paradox Finn who got trapped in a sword. He was created because Finn took his alternate self for granted and was tricked into stabbing him with a cursed grass sword.

Fern has a body only because of a grass demon. He struggles with finding an identity, because he's supposed to be this big hero just like Finn, but he's a violent little guy who has no qualms about cutting tendons and killing.

Finn says `we're like brothers… Maybe even closer` and almost confesses he has feelings for his frustrated alternate self, but by the time he starts showing it more clearly, Fern has already decided to trap Finn in a dungeon and take over his life.

That's the first time Finn kills Fern.

Fern becomes Finn's evil counterpart and pulls a Green Knight. Finn tried to redeem Fern and succeeds, but then Fern just loses his body until all that's left is a seed.

The seed grows into a replacement of the home they briefly shared — literally, Fern becomes a home for Finn."

"Finn loves every version of himself he meets, but Fern is special. He's a paradox who spent over a year trapped in a sword which got broken traumatically, and was then given a body by a demon who used to be the other Finn's right arm. Fern is constantly measured against Finn and can never measure up, to his ceaseless frustration. But Finn loves him unconditionally. Finn Mertens basically confesses that he loves Fern as something closer than a brother, only to be rejected and betrayed by Fern, who wants to take over Finn's life. This leads to the first time that Finn kills Fern. In the end, though, they face their demons together."

ZADR Propaganda (Toxic Dynamic, Species Difference - Dib is human while Zim is an Irken alien, Age Gap, AdultxMinor - Sort Of)

"These two self-serious goofuses are obsessed with each other. Each validates the other's delusions just by existing. They're nemeses who resent others getting between them. Each may be the only one who really understands the other."

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winns-stuff · 8 months

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LO RANT (MASSIVE TRIGGER WARNING):

Okay my rant for today is going to go into somewhat of a triggering topic which is abuse and normally I try to just be very vague about the more heavier things on Lore Olympus when ranting about them just so I don’t have to say the actual words or acts or anything but unfortunately for this rant it’s going to really be hammering into the more abusive side of Hades because this sort of situation between the fans have really been irking me badly.

I absolutely hate it when fans try and say that Hades is not abusive and all of his behaviors are just justified and excused because of all of the things he’s been through. The main argument I’ve seen with this topic is that he’s not an abuser because he’s never abused Persephone or Minthe or any of the women he’s been in a relationship with and honestly this sort of mindset is so incredibly flawed and sort of ignorant in the nicest way possible since abuse comes in many different forms believe me I know. You can be verbally abused, emotionally abused, sexually abused, and more it’s not only domestic violence and I just wish more fans would be aware of that and not just count domestic violence as a valid type of abuse (which granted I completely get and in no way am I saying that it shouldn’t be something that’s a form of abuse that shouldn’t be validated).

That way of thinking just makes no sense at all, if abuse only mattered in intimate relationships then abusive parents, teachers, counselors, etc wouldn’t be considered or validated at all. Just because he doesn’t hit women does not make his actions any less abusive, we’re talking about the man who constantly talks down on and willfully uses violence on those who cannot fight back. He has no problem exploiting his own citizens and cutting off their resources and transportation between realms at the drop of a penny and he definitely does not care about the well being of those who have to work for him. He’s an abusive asshole and his actions are absolutely heinous and incredibly distasteful.

Honestly this just makes me ask the question of why, why is Rachel even putting these elements in her story anyways if she’s not going to address it or try to explore these disgusting aspects of our very society. I’m sorry y’all but I do not believe that she doesn’t believe in half of the things she writes about, normally if someone does not agree with problematic elements in their story they’ll make it a point to try and point out its flaws or at the very least show people that “hey, please do not glorify xyz” you know? Like there’s evidence of the creator actively going against the things that they don’t agree with yet Rachel has never come out to say anything. She doesn’t address any of these problematic choices in her own story and instead of actually doing things with them she just keeps them in the story for no fucking reason. The nymphs (who are the lower class might I add and also make up the uncomfortable fantasy racism) should not be sexualized and used as objects for male pleasure. The satyrs and other non gods that live amongst Olympus and the Underworld should not be shown to be in hostile situations by their bosses for literally no other reason other than a few laughs. Persephone should not be sexualized by Rachel every other fucking panel, can we please talk about that soon because it’s getting fairly obvious that Rachel is just using Persephone only to be ogled at and heavily sexualized. The age gap never should’ve happened because again Rachel herself makes it a damn point to remind everyone that Lore Olympus is literally just a “cute” minor x adult fanfic, the whole thing reminds me of lolis and how people defend that shit by saying that they’re adults. And even more stuff but that would be about 400,000 words long at this point.

Anyways, I just want to end this by saying I’m not terribly angry at fans I’m just disappointed and honestly kind of annoyed I wish they would actually reread the things that they’re supporting and defending and actually start to think about what the comic is saying instead of just blindly going along with it. Another point is I do not believe Rachel is the best person and I’d love it if we could finally hold her accountable because I’m sorry but if she genuinely sees no problem with half of this stuff and she’s spreading it around in her award winning 4 million reader comic while there’s an entire fucking community trying to tell her how absolutely harmful and shitty the content is (that she keeps ignoring for a fucking reason might I add) I don’t find myself having much hope that she’s not a bad person, and maybe I am wrong although I genuinely don’t think I am because normally with good people you don’t have to keep wandering and convincing yourself that they’re good since they do that for you by their actions and how she’s been carrying herself these past years have not shown me otherwise.

Edit: With this rant though I do not want to incite any harassment or bullying Rachel’s way because that’s nowhere at all where I was trying to get when I said she needs to be held accountable. Harassment and cyber bullying is genuine asshole behavior and something I really don’t tolerate and besides there’s better ways to hold Rachel accountable that doesn’t require that kind of stuff.

#lo critical #anti lore olympus #anti lo #lore olympus criticism #lore olympus critical #antiloreolympus

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pupmkincake2000 · 11 months

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I had an interesting convo this night. I think I'll be collecting such comments so no one says that fatherson fans can be good.

Honestly, I would be glad if such people just unfollowed the tag.

Hank and Connor are partners and co-workers and have relationships as friends. And THAT is canon, and yes, friends can become lovers. It's in the game. And majority who? People with daddy issues or biased assholes? There are so many really silly ships and problematic ships in the fandom yet people chose to hate on most comfort and sweet characters? It is getting old.

And again that stupid argument they have, the only one.

If someone's problem is a visual age gap then it is just biases, not the ship is bad. Hank doesn't see Connor this way, he himself calls Connor his partner and Connor calls Hank his friend. And people should finally learn that calling someone son means nothing special. Son is often used by older people to refer to younger people. It doesn't mean you see the other person as a son. Didn't those antis see a cop at Rose's house calls Adam a son? It doesn't make the cop Adam's dad. Literally: SPOKEN a friendly way of addressing a boy or a man who is younger than you. Nothing more. They were never a father and a son.

Yeah, people may see them however they like, but insulting those who see them as lovers? While shipping the ships that weren't even there at the same time? And no. Hank is NOT old, Hank is 53 and Connor is an android and maybe for antis it is a surprise, but there are a lot of couples with the age gap, and it is normal. Or they are saying that older people cannot be loved, fall in love or have sex? Well, they can. It only says that the antis like this one are ageists with really odd daddy issues.

And I have the whole game to back, considering how much chemistry Hank and Connor have. Everything what I keep hearing from antis is still "son" which doesn't even prove anything😂 There is nothing wrong If two adults love each other. Even if there are age gaps.

Sorry to break you, but I do not care, considering that Clancy Brown, who was Hank said Hank didn't consider Connor a son. And yeah, I believe the game, not the actors who just try to be nice to their audience. The game says they are friends or kill each other, so I have all rights to say they are f*cking😂

So what are these kids trying to prove? The game says they are friends and co-workers, and people who see them as lovers HAVE the right to see them as lovers.

And if I was shipped with such a sexy old man as Hank, I would be only happy😂. And once again, there ARE A LOT OF COUPLES with a huge age gap and it IS NORMAL if both are consensual adults. And no. HankCon is NOT wrong. HankCon particularly doesn’t hurt anyone. It’s not wrong. If anything, it is all kinds of right and love and it bridges the gap between humans and androids in the DBH universe.

As well as Hank never saw him as a son. Oh, and I post on tik tok and if there are biased people, I just tell them to mind their own buisiness or get some help😂

And honestly? Personally, I think it's time for those who ship Hank and Connor as lovers to stop being nice. It's time to just tell these people to go fuck themselves. It's time to just make more content with Hank and Connor fucking (each time the antis say they are father and son especially), with Hank and Connor living happily as husbands, with Hank and Connor being crazy about each other. And the more the better.

Each opinion is valid? No. This fandom proves that all the opinions are valid if it is not HankCon.

Too much hypocrisy, too many double standards. People threaten other people because Hank and Connor love each other? Seriously? While there are more absurd problems in the world? I believed and will continue to believe that every time this happens, hankcon shippers need to ignore this, but openly shout to the whole world that HankCon is worthy of living, worthy of existing, that the world needs such couples, that this is the best pairing in the world and if the majority thinks othervise? Well, they can go fuck themselves. Maybe it's time to stop being quiet? Maybe it's time to stop tolerating such an attitude towards a really worthy ship? Maybe it's time to start screaming about how beautiful and amazing it is?

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pepperpottsandcompany · 2 years

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Chrissy Cunningham, Edissy and Grace Van Dien

I don't usually make long text posts on here - hopefully I will make more about awesome female characters in the future - but I feel this situation requires it.

There are spoilers under the cut.

First off, I really liked Chrissy Cunningham as a character when she appeared. A lot of people did, and a large part of that is the actress making her so likeable. I assumed we were going for the bitchy head cheerleader stereotype when they introduced her, but I was wrong. She was really sweet, kind and had immediate chemistry with Eddie.

Obviously, the actors (Joseph Quinn and Grace Van Dien) made their characters so amazing and their acting made the characters have undeniable chemistry. Whether you see that as platonic chemistry or romantic chemistry, it's undeniable that it's there. The scenes they shared were wonderful and I actually got very attached to Chrissy in the short time we had with her.

Now, I ship 'Edissy' (Eddie x Chrissy) and I shipped them immediately. However I understand that some people see them as platonic and see a friendship there, which I totally understand. We don't all ship the same things. I also ship 'Steddie' (Steve x Eddie), and I love both those ships. They're great.

What is NOT great is the fact that a lot of people within the Stranger Things fandom - most of whom seem to ship Steddie as well - seem to think it's okay to post nasty and hateful things about Chrissy, Edissy and Grace herself. A lot of them have even sent Grace hateful messages on social media and genuinely made her fear going to conventions because she's worried about in person hate.

They are also claiming that Edissy is paedophilia because Eddie is around 19/20 and Chrissy is 17/18. They are both SENIORS, which means they are around the same age and even though Eddie has been kept behind a couple of years, he's still a teenager, like Chrissy. That age gap is NOT PROBLEMATIC and if you think it is, you need to log off the internet and go the fuck outside into the real world.

Edissy is a perfectly fine and valid ship, as is Steddie. If you don't ship it, awesome. Just move on with your life and don't harass people who do.

Moving on from people being gross about the ship, the fact that some of you think it's okay to harass and bully the actress who plays Chrissy on social media because you've decided you don't like the ship is vile and horrific. And a lot of people doing that are

a) super weird Steddie shippers who remind me of the horrible Lokius shippers in the Loki/MCU fandom who harass Sophia Di Martino for playing a female character that 'gets in the way' of their white mlm ship and

b) obsessed Eddie Munson/Joseph Quinn stans, who, a lot like the Tom Hiddleston stans in the Loki fandom (who send hate to Zawe Ashton, Tom's real life fiancée, as well as Sophia), or Robert Pattinson stans in The Batman/Twilight fandom (who send hate to Suki Waterhouse, Rob's irl girlfried, and a lot of whom seem to hate BatCat and Zoe Karvitz), seem to hold up their favourite purest bestest boy fictional character and the actor who plays him, but hates any woman who is close to him irl or in the shows/movies they're in, and seems to think they have some weird claim over them

You DO NOT have ANY CLAIM over a fictional character NOR THE ACTOR WHO PLAYS HIM.

The fact that you all have decided to bully and harass and young woman over a fictional romance that NEVER happened (both ships guys, BOTH ships) and are insinuating that the friendship between real people (the actors) is fake because you can't handle a a woman being friends with a man you see as your possession, is absolutely disgusting and you are all scum.

Also, so much of it stems from misogyny, and what's worse is that a lot of the people hurling this misogynistic abuse are other WOMEN. That is vile. It disgusts me. Women are people, and male/female ships are VALID. Also, the fact that you only harass the ACTRESSES in these situations tells so much. You all still see women (other women for many of you) as obstacles to what you want and as lesser then you. Go and revaluate your misogyny, internalised or not.

Also, while I'm here, all the people crying about Eddie being queer - you do realise bisexual and pansexual people exist? As well as a wealth of other sexualities where it's possible to love/be attracted to more then ONE gender. People in male/female relationships CAN BE QUEER. Eddie can like Chrissy AND Steve. It's possible.

Anyway, I got distracted. Chrissy is a wonderful character, Edissy is a great ship (romantic or platonic) and Grace Van Dien seems like a lovely young woman.

If you have been hateful towards Grace, or any other female actor, for playing a female character that you perceive as 'stealing' a male actor/character you like, or as 'getting in the way' of your gay ship? YOU ARE THE ONE WITH THE PROBLEM. You need to work on yourself and your misogyny and you need to leave social media and stop harassing real people.

I am ashamed to ship Steddie because so many abusive people ship it too and have decided that this is the 'superior' ship and they need to harass people who ship a different ship or need to harass the actress who plays one part of the other ship. I'm also ashamed to love Eddie Munson as a character because so many hardcore Eddie 'stans' (who also obsess over Joseph Quinn) are also being abusive towards Edissy shippers and Grace as well.

I adore Chrissy, and Grace, and I ship Edissy. I needed to say that. And the rest of it needed to be said.

To all those antis, haters, whatever you call yourselves. If you've harassed and bullied Grace or anyone on social media for liking Chrissy or Edissy, I wish the worst fates on you. Grow up, put down your phone and go and revaluate yourself and how you think.

#chrissy cunningham #eddie munson #edissy #eddie x chrissy #grace van dien #steddie #I had to make a post about this #it's too important not to #I am actually horrified by people #I feel ASHAMED to share a fandom with some of you #the way you treat female characters and actresses is appalling #especially when you do it because you think you have some sort of claim towards the male actor/character #or because you think the female character 'gets in the way' of your mlm ship #and there are too many examples of this sadly #there's the three mentioned above #but as I wrote I thought of so many more #stranger things #stranger things 4 #stranger things spoilers

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kaioshin-kai · 4 months

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👬

send an emoji and i'll tell you my opinion on...

— 👬 shipping

• NGL, as a traumatized person I'm not a fan of problematic ships. They just make me sad and uneasy, sometimes it can be triggering. If you call stuff like selfcest (which isn't an existing thing IRL) and age gaps between consenting adults "problematic", you don't know what "problematic" means BTW.

You personally disliking a ship ≠ Problematic. Please don't spread harmful misinfo.

Also please don't harass people over ships.

• In RP. actually don't care about chem, if it works it works. I can ship something fast if it goes really smooth. However, I'm pretty selective & I have a MxM pref. I also like some FxF, I'm most picky with het ships. It doesn't mean I don't do them but… preferences… lol

• I prefer ships that have a more interesting dynamic. Like, small conflicts or the characters have some contrast or are similar and have goals. I dislike both overly ideal ships or overly toxic ships.

Though I admit that some ships I like make no sense and are just complete AU's lol.

• Ship "collectors" make me uncomfortable. I block OC accounts that give off those vibes. It's nothing personal; I'm simply not comfortable with it.

• That being said, I make exceptions of writers that are able to offer double ups bc I think it's only fair if you can offer OC x Canon in return.

• Probably a hot take but I'm just not keen with people who try to "un-gay" obviously queer-coded characters.

• I definitely have some favorite DB ships I have total brainrot for! 🥰

• I'm only multiship bc it's too hard to singleship. Most writers turn inactive after a while. 😔

I'd be totally up for singleshipping or something semi/limited. I like the idea of having more meaningful/dedicated ships!

I guess I'll put something like "main ship(s)" in OC bios.

• When I say shipping, I generally refer to romantic and or sexual ships. But I think platonic shipping is valid too, though.

• That being said; I'm actually most interested in roleplaying platonic bonds!

#(ooc)#(askbox)

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mitsuki91 · 6 months

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Sometimes I think that someone really was born under a cabbage and never grow up, or I can not explain shit like this... Have you never being a teen? How can you always see the relationships between two teen (who maybe are even go to highschool together) as problematic the moment one became 18yo and the other not yet??? What is the 18yo supposed to do, hybernate until the other one is 18 too????

I don't know you but even statisticaly it is normal to be attracted by one of your peer at school who is one or two years up or down from you. What is wrong with this, please explain to me.

Also I fucking hate the phrase "different phases in life" because what a fucking difference between two teens who grow up in the same highschool. "Oh nooo someone is going to graduate and maybe starts college, what a shaaaaame!!!" It is called life that go on. You don't stop to care about the people you care just because you grow up.

I can understand when you put together like an 18yo and a 50yo (and by your logic they belong together because the invisible line of 18yo in crossed by both) but seriously, two teen? I understand there is a line, I mean I will be concerned if the age gap is something like 13-19, but really you don't have friends in the range of two-three years gap?

And also, none of you went to middle school? Because I assure you teen stands for ormonal changes and, let me tell you this straight, teens want to fuck. Every teen despite of the age in the teens, minus personal difference like late ormonal development or asexuality etc.

So what is wrong with you when you see some, let's say, 18yo attracted to some 15yo and called it predatory. WTF.

It can be, of course. But most of the times... It is not.

(Also again about the "phases of life", life is not a straight line with everyone doing exactly the same at the same time. You always cared when you see some depressed college student, you always say fast something like "There is not a timeline!!!" etc, but then you said shit like this every time. And that's the reason most of you feel left behind your own peers. I assure you I know 18yo that want to starts a family right now and on the other hand 30yo who only want to drink and party, and both of them are valid. Of course I agree that if a 30yo wants to start a family can not go to highschool to choose a partner for this, but I mean, life happen and if as a 30yo I find a, let's say, 23yo at work with the same goal as me, then I don't see problem in this. You know where I see the problem? When one 30yo starts screaming and abuse and maybe impose a pregnancy with their 30yo partner when said partner always said "I don't want marriage and family", and the first 30yo justify themself with "But I think it is time to grow up and do these thing and I think he/she has to change, we are 30yo after all!". That's abuse, not two people falling in love with the same goal - and again, let's simplify and let's lefting grooming out of this, because that is bad everytime).

#random rant #always purity culture #teens #teens want to fuck #random grammar

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matan4il · 1 year

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Question but which among buck's gfs were actually good for him? That helped him grow? Not in the sense i want him to end up with them again but who has helped him the most

Hi Nonnie! Thank you for this ask.

I do think he grew from all of his relationships, not necessarily from personal compatibility, but in that sense of learning from everything he goes through. Abby might have looked at him as a boy toy to use to get over her own heartbreak and struggles, but his time with her taught him that he did want a r/s and was capable of one. Ali might not have loved him enough to stay despite his dangerous job, but choosing her over Taylor in 208 proved to Buck that it wasn’t Abby specifically as the only one to inspire this wish for a steady r/s, and he wasn’t gonna revert to Buck 1.0 just because she left. Then Taylor allowed Buck to learn that as much as he wanted a r/s, he didn’t have to settle for the first girl who wouldn’t abandon him. It was okay to say, “this isn’t right for me,” and walk away.

So which was actually good for him? I’m not sure any of them was compatible with him. Abby didn’t take him seriously, as his own person with feelings that should be considered, which I do take as major incompatibility. Taylor was just not that kind of a person, which is so different to who Buck is, when he’s all heart. And Ali, I can’t point to any big mismatches other than the fact that Buck is the kind of guy who loves throwing himself into danger to save others, and that’s not something she could live with. Which is valid, but also a huge gap between them. I’d still probably choose her, I guess. Like if I really, really had to. Because at least in terms of Buck’s issues around consent, she was the one who I think inflicted the least damage and was the one whose getting together with Buck was the least problematic.

(and yes, of course I’m over here, thinking how different all of this would be to Buck and Eddie if they finally got together, and how compatible they are as people, and how much Buck got to choose when it comes to Eddie)

I hope this helps? Have a good day! As always, here's my ask tag. xoxox

#buddie #911meta #buddie meta #911 meta #9-1-1 #evan buckley #eddie diaz #edmundo diaz #evan buck buckley #anti-buckabby #anti-bucktaylor #anti-buckali #ask #anon ask #911 #911onabc #911 on abc #911abc #911 abc

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itsreallyjustme · 2 years

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u had to write bc you can't actually believe what's happening

when i see a gap here, i know i just had the best or the worst days of my life.

This time they were amazing

I'm finally talking to someone romantically

I mean, it was perfect.

He did it perfectly.

He is perfect. i think

I have this small problem where i think i'm the main character, so when we first interacted (he seek me out) I said to my friend "if he's doing it with that intention, he is going for the win"

We met like a year ago at an event, he is the friend of a friend, but we didn't start talking until like a month ago. And I've admired his gameplay from the very start:

he searched for mutual interest to strike a fulfilling conversation,

he then arranged for me to be in a group chat about said interest to ensure the continuity of the interaction,

he gave it time before trying to talk to me privately again,

he continued to only talk to me with time lapses in between, so I got used to his presence without it being forced (they were always followups of the group chat's subjects),

he responded an Instagram story about a project I was preparing and seemed really interested in it,

he waited for me to keep the conversation flowing without letting it drop but without forcing it,

he then made the "I've got a perfect sticker" to move to WhatsApp,

and the rest was amazing too.

While we talked, he filled the silence with memes and random reels so we ended up talking every day

Somehow he created a safe comfortable space in which I felt completely at peace and it got me sharing stuff about myself I don't normally do so easily (and to a stranger nonetheless)

By the time he said anything about a date I was at complete ease and felt I could tell him everything. And that was a whole event by itself:

We were talking about how honesty is always the best policy and how we both like to go head first with the truth and have ugly and awkward conversations instead of going with the flow when he said "I wanted to ask you out on a date, but I don't know if that's cool"

now, chances are, im the only one who's going to read this, but I'm going to say it anyway

Normally this is the part when i -very apologetically- say I'm not interested in that and try to maintain the friendship as long as I can until the other person, defeated, ghosts me.

But like i said: i'd been playing with the idea since the very beginning, I absolutely admired the process and how it played out, I felt completely comfortable talking to him and frankly didn't want to stop;

and something very influential: i've been talking myself into a relationship since the beginning of the year, and since we started talking i started picturing a possible relationship with him, so it really wasn't completely out of the blue;

I surprised both of us by saying i wanted that too

he told me that: that he was ready for me to say no

long story short, we discussed it, like all of it. How a date would play out, what we needed to happen before that, how a relationship would work out, and his past.

He told me that was a deal breaker for him, he needed me to know the ugly truths and then decide if I wanted his presence in my life, it was amazing (tho a bit overwhelming)

Now, you know yourself, darling. You know exactly what fears were creeping into your mind at the prospect of dating (I still can't believe it) a 23year-old male.

So you talked about it.

Not all of it, though you clearly said there were more thing you wanted to discuss with him before that first date.

But you discussed your past experiences, your inexperience, your fears and your boundaries, and made clear that while you accepted his and wanted to continue forward now you knew them, you understand if he didn't,

I mean, what could you possibly offer him when physical affection was going to be out of the table for at least a while?

He didn't -want to halt thing that is

He accepted you, messy and problematic as you showed yourself and validated and reassured you about every single issue you presented, showing a kind of support you hadn't dared to hope for.

It was a wholesome morning

You keep those long deep conversations, music recommendations and random musings, with the now new addition of endearments when saying hello and goodbye -it was dreamlike

You started to notice a pattern though -he acted exactly like your main character's romantic interest. Had you unknowingly manifested him?

You didn't care a lot, you were actually happy. You are actually happy. He's making you very happy.

time got in the way, though you were actually glad about it, you knew chances were you wouldn't last past a first date, and didn't want to lose his presence in your life.

You were preparing for it, dreading that given moment when he would kiss you and you would run away.

Spoiler: it didn't happen.

You saw it so much earlier than you had expected, and he had asked you if he could hug you when you did, it was an exciting gathering with your mutual friends (though most of them were only his friends). You didn't get or try to get any alone time, enjoying the company and entertainment the gathering itself provided. Still, he didn't keep his distance either, standing or sitting close to you and letting his hands linger on your shoulders or your back when he could make it look casual. (He also won a chocolate bar in a game and gave you a piece ! i mean, couple-stuff xd)

Contrary to popular belief (the pop being your past self), you were elated at that and didn't feel at all uncomfortable, but content in his ministrations, it was nice to feel cared for, even if you were still dreading the link's inevitable end once you meet alone for the first time.

You thought you had more time, you weren't going to be in the same city for 2 weeks and wouldn't be able to meet for another week after that, and you already knew 600km did wonder for difficult relationships (see: your father-daughter bond)

Life does like to play with your plans though, and his leaving got delayed, which prompted him to ask you out the very next night, again surprising even yourself, you agreed and no more than 30 min later he picked you up (saying he didn't want to miss out on the walking part)

You spent almost 8 hours together.

It was ... ... ... beautiful

You were able to gather the courage and ask him again if he was ok with the fact that you weren't ready to kiss him yet, and his answer would still make you swoon over it if he hadn't made other more swoon-able statements since.

To number some:

"I like interacting with you, and I'm not about to give that up because I can't kiss you"

"I'm so happy just because I can hold your hand"

I want you to know I want to kiss you right now, but I know that would make you uncomfortable, so I'm ok with not doing it, because I want you to be comfortable with me"

and i could go on.

Cold made us leave things at that and i took him home, he doesn't drive and I do and i couldn't on good conscience let him walk home in the freezing cold.

When saying goodbye, he asked me if what had just happened was a date, I think is better with direct speech, so here I go:

"Do you want to count this as a date? cause I know you said there were more things we needed to talk about before you could feel like you could go out with me, and I respect that-"

"I want it to be a date"

"Great," some time passed in which we only smile before he started fussing again, "Do you want to have another one someday?"

i mean, can he be any cuter??!

He left the next morning, and we planned to see each other at the latest on his birthday. We also decided that prior to that we needed to tell our mutual friends about it, so we could hold hands (!) at his party.

He did it the very same morning.

All cute as all that was, it wasn't the best (this have been a couple of very intense days)

After some deliberation and because it was prompted by some of his own confessions, I finally told him I was ace, and his answer (!!!!!!): "I suspected it", was more than I could have hope for. He suspected it and didn't broke things up, he said he was ok with that knowing it could be a permanent thing, he,,,, he tore down all my insecurities with a 12-letter phrase.

I went on explaining myself and how i really didn't know if all that was completely out of the table or not, but that I wasn't keen on rushing myself to find out.

He fucking told me he was fucking OK with that.

That "Everyone has their own time", "I don't want you to feel pressured in any way", "I just wanna walk alongside you", "And, if you want, to hold your hand"

he ended me.

I had already decided, but i confirmed there and then that were he to break my heart, I would never regret giving him a chance, because I never thought I would meet someone that would so openly accept that part of me

I feel so happy and safe right now.

Before everything that happened, i had told my friend that talking to him was like therapy and I stand by that, never had I ever had so many important healthy conversations, and never had I ever been able to talk about so many things as I can with him.

I also made him promise me to tell me when I start bothering him or when he starts feeling annoyed at me, and I promised him to trust that he will instead of pushing him away because I thought he had, which I think it's the healthiest thing ever.

I feel like i'm seeing the world with pink-coloured glasses, but for the first time ever, I'm letting myself do that, and I'm trusting he's not going to make me regret it. I told him already, that he's now got the power to hurt me, and I feel that it shows lots of growth on my part, or at least that -for the first time ever- I'm allowing myself to be happy.

#dear future me #u finally got someone

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gra-sonas · 2 years

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Ngl, I wasn’t going to answer this at first, but then I kept thinking about it, and now I will (just with details redacted bc it’s not relevant who it is).

I won’t treat any of this as confirmed facts (bc there’s no facts or confirmation) but hypothetically, if there’s any truth to the above:

How do I feel about it? I honestly don’t care. 🤷‍♀️

Why? Because it’s

1/ none of my business 2/ both (!) parties were at the age of consent when they supposedly got together 3/ I know nothing about the relationship, the relationship dynamic, or how mature the younger partner was at the age of 18 (given their profession, and the fact they'd already moved to a different country for work at that age, they were probably a bit more mature than other 18-year-olds tho) 4/ not every relationship with an age gap is toxic/bad/awful/gross (and certainly not what people throw so casually around these days - like it isn’t one of the most godawful things that can happen to a CHILD - p*dophelia, srsly, STOP SAYING IT OMG)

(I’m not saying you called it that, nonnie, I just see that accusation used way too often these days, right along with grooming, which again, this is not that either).

Would I have entered a relationship with an age gap like that at 18? No idea. In some ways, I was probably a bit more mature than my peers at that age, but I don’t know whether I would’ve dated someone several years my senior. Would’ve depended on what kind of person they were, and how thoughtful of the possible “power imbalance” of the age gap they would’ve been. I don’t see any reason to categorically rule it out tho.

Would I date someone several years my junior now? I don’t know either. Again, this would depend greatly on the other person and the dynamic between us. As the older party in that relationship, I’d undoubtedly be HELLA aware of a possible power imbalance, but again, if everyone is of age (!) and consenting (!), I wouldn’t categorically rule it out either.

If the above-mentioned case has indeed been a 4-year relationship at this point, I would assume that both parties are obviously happy with how the relationship has developed over the years and that while the start of it was maybe a bit "unconventional”, I definitely don’t see a problem with it, not back then, and not now. And it’s certainly not a reason for me to “cancel” anyone over this.

IDK, these days there just seems to be a certain hype to deem things “problematic” that are slightly “out of the norm”. Age gaps in particular are treated like they are the worst thing ever (I’ve been in the Voltron fandom and the amount of vitriol from ~purity-obsessed assholes Sheith fans had to deal with was next-level... 🙄), but I just don’t see it as a problem per se, or an issue that will make any relationship a terrible thing, even when the younger partner is only 18 at the beginning.

Any kind of power imbalance in a relationship can be problematic (and it gets downright terrible when the person with more power takes advantage), an age gap is just one possible component, it doesn’t have to be an awful thing tho.

No two people are the same, most 18-year-olds are not hapless children that are unable to consent, and most older ppl entering a relationship with a younger person are not predatory groomers.

People can just be people and meet at the ages they meet, fall in love, and then make it work - fully aware of the potentially difficult dynamics but navigating them in a healthy way.

And without any further knowledge about a relationship that has potentially lasted for 4 years already, I have zero issues with it.

If the whole thing is something that makes you uncomfortable tho, nonnie, that is a valid reaction, absolutely. And it makes sense that you would now wonder whether you can keep being a fan.

Without any judgement of your reaction I just wonder: what is it that makes you feel uncomfortable about this? Is it actual knowledge about something bad that happened for real (in which case I’d certainly be faster than a speeding bullet to condemn and cancel, I’ve done it before, I’d do it again), or is it more like a vague unease about the possibility of this being a not-good-thing?

I can’t tell you whether to keep being a fan, that’s something you have to find out for yourself, I would just encourage you to find out why you’re feeling like you do, and then take it from there.

Maybe just keep in mind that apart from the age gap, there’s nothing anyone knows about this [hypothetical] relationship, that would make it bad or problematic. Neither does anyone know anything about how it began, how it developed, and how esp. the older partner handled the whole thing.

Considering what we know about them, I feel like it’s fair to assume that they were fully aware of a potential imbalance tho, and that, in all likelihood, they navigated it with much care, making sure their younger partner was comfortable at any given time.

Good luck with figuring this out, nonnie, I hope you’ll be able to come to a conclusion you’re comfortable with. ❤️

#nonnie asks

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tiny-space-robot · 1 year

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here is an attempt to provide a logical argument about the negatives of Proshipping fandom culture:

Pro-shipping fandom culture, where fans obsess over romantic relationships between fictional characters, has its downsides. While it may seem harmless and fun, it can perpetuate unhealthy behaviors and harm both the creators and fans themselves.

Firstly, Proshipping fandom culture can pressure creators to cater to fans' desires for certain romantic relationships. This can lead to the watering down of character development and storylines, as well as the objectification of characters solely for shipping purposes. Creators may feel obligated to give in to fans' demands, ultimately compromising their artistic vision for the sake of fan service. This is damaging to the integrity of the work and the creative process.

Secondly, Proshipping fandom culture can encourage toxic and obsessive behavior among fans. Rivalries between different "ships" can create intense competition and often lead to harassment and bullying of other fans and creators --- especially when fans feel that their ship is not being represented or their preferred couple is not canon. This is a breeding ground for toxic fandom, gatekeeping, and exclusionary behavior, which can be damaging both to the fandom's social dynamics and to the mental health of individual fans.

Thirdly, Proshipping fandom culture can foster unrealistic expectations of romantic relationships, as fans often glorify and fetishize abusive or problematic dynamics as "cute" or "romantic." This can have negative implications for young fans who are still learning about healthy relationships. It can also cause harm to real-life individuals who are affected by similar abusive relationship dynamics, as they may turn to these fandoms for escape or validation, only to then be further subjected to harmful stereotypes and expectations.

In conclusion, Proshipping fandom culture has its downsides, such as perpetuating pressure on creators, toxic and obsessive behavior among fans, and unrealistic expectations for romantic relationships. While fans should continue to be passionate about their favorite characters and stories, it is important to be mindful of the potential consequences and harm that can come from Proshipping fandom culture.

did the definition of proshipping get changed yet AGAIN while I wasn´t on this blog, or??

I mean-

the first two points have absolutely nothing to do with proshipping, but rather shipping as a whole and I wholeheartedly agree with you on the first two points!

I have seen way WAY too often that people get SO consumed by their ship that they destroy everything and everyone around them (hell, look at the voltron fandom!) and I am absolutely against this creepy toxic mindset of "I want THIS to happen in this piece of media! I am going to endlessly harrass the creators until they DO IT!"

as an older person on the internet, I honestly, so sincerely miss the days where everyone just collectively didn´t give a shit about ships being canon. like?? I never cared before and I never started caring!

if ALL of my weird ships became canon in the next hour, I would give zero f*cks in total.

but anyway, back to the point

yes, with the second thing I agree too!

shipping wars are pretty stupid, but its not like they´re exclusive to proshipping or as if proshipping was what created it-

proshipping was a thing since shipping itself was a thing! and I argue, back then they were better too! because at least, the shipping wars of old consisted of people going "your ship makes no sense! its stupid!" and "my otp is better than your otp!"

and NOT

"your otp has an age gap of four seconds, therefore youre a p*dophile!!" "character A said ´youre like a brother to me´ to character b, so your ship is incest!! die!!"

like, newsflash: you dont need a monumental reason to hate a ship! sometimes you just dont vibe with it!! stop making up bullsh*t to justify your hate for a ship, its completely unneccesary!

as for your third point, now youre getting closer to the definition, but its, again, not a problem unique to proshipping, nor one that proshipping started!

I, for one, HATE abuse in ships! like, one character being overly controlling of the other, one character being physically/mentally abusive, one character literally showing sociopathic behavior- UGH not my cup of tea!

but, you know where these exact dynamics are also to be found? yaoi media! I personally hate anime as a whole, so I have more than one reason to not indulge in that stuff, but, yaoi as a genre existed for far far longer than proshipping and I have seen people who are clearly too young for it indulge in it (and yes, I agree with you there, that its not something they should do, like please little 7 year olds, you have no business reading something that is LITERALLY PWTP)

anyway, yes, that genre is full of abusive dynamics and I´d argue that its the culprit of so many abusive ships because I wanna bet that this genre is what those people were influenced by at a young age.

as for the escape and validation part, I am sorry for those people who got harmed by shipper twits witout a filter (tag your sh*t dammit), especially because shipping should be all about fun, but- I´m sorry, but fandom spaces and the internet as a whole, is NOT a good place for safety and coping! the internet as well as fandom spaces, are full of ALL KINDS of people! some people feel comfort not ever stumbling across those ships! while others find comfort specifically BY these ships! the human brain is just complicated like that-

I am a victim of some horrible sh*t too, and I have very tricky issues with overly sensitive anxiety (seriously, it can get triggered by the dumbest sh*t) the best you can do to help yourself through those problems, is to either block certain tags, so you dont have to come across it as much (like, when you know of a specific ship that has abusive tendencies, simply block the name of the ship)

(yes, I know, there are some people who really dont give a sht about properly tagging things- those people are dcks and you should just block them)

or, as a more drastic measure, put away the laptop/phone/pc and limit your internet usage

and with that wrapped up, yes anon, I agree with you on most of these parts! and I also agree that shipping culture has a lot of downsides and a lot of toxicity! thats unfortunately always a problem with communities (which is also why I hate fandoms) its honestly up to individuals to point out toxic behavior in their own communites- I mean, for as bad as I´ve heard the voltron fandom was, there were a LOT of people who were calling out the more outrageous behavior in the fandom. (like that story with the leaks hostage situation? I mean wow)

I hope my ramblings are somewhat coherent and that you have a good day, anon!

#idk #long post #toxic fandom behavior #toxic shippers

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alyjojo · 2 years

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Love Reading 🏳️‍⚧️- August 2022 - Pisces

Singles:

Overall energy: The Moon

How you will meet: The Sun & 3 Swords

How they will treat you: King of Pentacles

Long-term Potential: 2 Wands & 8 Cups

You’re someone’s 3rd party, could be a King of Pentacles, a Taurus or earth sign. Someone very career focused, responsible, and serious. You’ve been fine with flirting or whatever has happened between you, but you deeply fear this person leaving their partner, and all of the sad and painful feelings that come with it. With others of you this energy is switched, and you’re afraid they’re going to choose the committed person and leave you behind. The person themselves are are celebrating the whole thing, they don’t care who they hurt, they’re happy to cheat and very passionate and excited to do the sneaky business. How they treat you is “no worries babe”, they’ve got everything covered. They’ve got money, probably does very well at their job or makes enough to not worry about it, they’re successful in everything they undertake. This is a person that doesn’t lose, may be a bit arrogant and full of themselves. Their attitude is pretty toxic, there is nothing about them that is “humble”, they think that is a pie you serve to others.

Long term you seem to be the one making the decision to leave this behind and just enjoy being on your own for awhile. You don’t like the sneaky aspect of this person. If they’ll treat someone else that way, why wouldn’t they treat you that way? Or how you get them is how you lose them. It seems to be something you’re considering. “Controlling” here tells me you expect a certain level of standards to be met, whether or not this person thinks something is okay, you don’t 💯

Messages -

Their side:

- My heart wasn’t truly in this.

- I won’t go backwards, only forwards.

Your side:

- I can’t stay.

- Controlling 💯

Signs you may be dealing with:

Aries, Pisces, Gemini, Leo & Taurus

Couples:

Overall energy: The Lovers

Current: 9 Wands

Challenge: 9 Swords

Potential: 7 Cups

999 could mean something for your relationship in August. I am getting intimacy issues strongly, it’s going to play out differently for everyone, but there’s either a lack of a spark, a possible sex addiction that’s caused problems, or it’s possible one of you are using intimacy as a weapon against the other person, which is causing problems. The messages blame you, whether it is or not. Currently that describes your situation, passion in general and intimacy on any levels has led to pain, wounding, you or they want to overcome this issue. The challenge is intense worries, fears, anxiety about holding back at all. Like if you don’t want to every Monday night at 9pm, are they just going to run off and do something stupid somewhere else? It’s a valid concern, and you’re within your right to deny anyone access to you period 💯

You definitely are holding back even through these cards show you worried about what will happen because of this. Everything happening is due to a shocking Tower moment of discovery or truth. The potential is confusion in regards to HOW to fix this, not whether or not you want to because everything on your side says you want to. This could be health related. How can you do this in a healthy way, that makes you happy, and you person at the same time. Respect seems to be another issue with your person. I see no resolution in August, just that the problem itself has been recognized by both of you. If this issue runs deeply, or is more intense and problematic than I’m even letting on, especially with 9 Swords here, counseling or medical advice as a pair is a much more effective way to bridge the gap between your expectations and theirs, what’s desired and what’s possible ❤️

Messages -

Their side:

- Spiritually Dead Inside ☠️

- Bad Cycle

Your side:

- Childish

- Till Death Do Us Part

- Not Even Tempted 💯

Oracles -

Their side: If you’re in a negative environment, it creates a block, and positive energy can’t get through.

Your side: Depression comes from being trapped. Spring the trap and change your life.

Signs you may be dealing with:

Gemini, Aries, Scorpio & Sagittarius

#pisces tarot reading #love reading #couples reading #singles reading #august 2022 #Pisces #tarot

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astrowithkaro · 2 years

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𝐀𝐬𝐭𝐫𝐨𝐥𝐨𝐠𝐲 𝐎𝐛𝐬𝐞𝐫𝐯𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬 𝐏𝐭.𝟖

Here is a list of my astrology observations, keep in mind they are not 100% accurate to everyone since they’re only observations. I really liked this theme of red wine so I hope you guys enjoy it as well. Lmk if any of them resonated <3

Do not copy, plagiarize or reword my posts, thank you! Give full credits if reposted - Karolina

🍷Lilith conjunct ascendant in synastry can indicate a relationship with bigger age gap between partners. It can sometimes come off as a little taboo of their choice or a relationship that initially feels forbidden.

🍷 Juno conjunct MC in synastry: if you're romantically involved with someone or a crush, their love for you will help you attain prominence socially. But in my research I've seen Juno show up in charts of different types of "committed" relationships so this can also be a good business partner/colleague aspect. You could interpret it as admiration for someone as an ideal mate or maybe someone turns into a trophy wife/husband lol.

🍷 I've noticed that Libra placements or people whose charts are heavily influenced by Venus/Neptune really enjoy sweets or have the biggest sweet tooth (me included lol).

🍷 Aries rising accompanied by heavy Venus/mars energy are BIG flirts since they have this natural charisma and confidence to them. They’ll sweep the whole neighborhood, and be really good at hiding it!

🍷 Honestly I've noticed a lot of long term relationships or connections between Taurus and Aquarius moons even though they're not known for being significantly compatible. Especially if they're evolved.

🍷 Scorpio Venuses will HURT you emotionally if they don't know what they want. They will toy you around when they don't know their feelings for you. Especially un-evolved Scorpio Venuses, they're gonna keep many partners around just because they can't decide. I warn everyone of this situation!

🍷 No because why are Leo mars so fucking problematic. Every Leo mars I have seen or had in my life are literally the worst people ever. They're so far up their own asses (and assets) that they don't even know what having a perspective means. My dad is a Leo mars and he's the reason why I grew up in a dysfunctional family, not to mention Donald T who's mars dominant as well BYE 💀

🍷 Bro, Virgo and Leo placements in the same chart is the worst brutally honest individuals ever. The arrogance and cockiness combined with intelligence is AWFUL.

🍷 Aries Venus people are very passionate and can be great and independent partners while in a relationship (although it’s a widely hated sign). But in my observations this hateful placement is only valid if the Aries Venus has major Libra/Aquarius influence in the chart. Or if any dominant planets are Libra/Scorpio.

🍷 Chiron 11H/Aquarius will always end up being betrayed by their friend group and/or always feel left out of around other informal groups. I feel like they can't really connect with anyone in a way they'd like because they feel like their humour wouldn't be understood, or that it has to be limited to an extent.

🍷 The sluttiest most chick-lit baddie people are Aquarius moons, end of discussion. These people might be cray-cray but generally won't open up to you unless you're good friends. Aqua moons do value playfulness over emotions tho, so make sure to show them your quirkiness in order to get closer to them.

🍷 People with Pluto-Venus influence in their charts often get emotions mixed up with toxicity, or love bombing. I've noticed these people tend to attract narcissists or perverts unwillingly. I feel like they either got played a lot or in some way come off very naive and thus getting hurt the most.

🍷 I find that Aries Venus accompanied by piscean influence tend to rule each other out. I feel like the bold energy of Aries could more so reflect on the introverted spectrum of one’s personality while the piscean diligence is what’s put on the outer shell. That’s because Aries is in the first quadrants while Pisces on the fourth.

𝖙𝖍𝖆𝖙'𝖘 𝖎𝖙 𝖋𝖔𝖗 𝖓𝖔𝖜.

𝖄𝖔𝖚 𝖈𝖆𝖓 𝖋𝖎𝖓𝖉 𝖒𝖞 𝖒𝖆𝖘𝖙𝖊𝖗𝖑𝖎𝖘𝖙 𝖍𝖊𝖗𝖊

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nightswithkookmin · 3 years

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A quick lesson on ships

Because why not??😌

No but seriously, bare with me, I'm trying to answer your questions. Sit if you have to. Hehe

Uban Dictionary defines shipping as this:

A term used to describe fan fictions that take previously created characters and put them as a pair. It usually refers to romantic relationships, but it can refer platonic [sic] ones as well. (Just think of “shipping” as short for “relationSHIP”.) 9 Apr 2015

Ships can be platonic or romantic or both.

There's fictional ships and non fictional ships too. You ship two people you want to be in a relationship or who already are in a relationship or who you suspect to be in a relationship- perhaps due to queer baiting, ship baiting, romance baiting etc.

In the shipping fandom, there are two sects of people. Those who are Proships those who are Antiships- antis are ironically considered part of the shipping community because for some reason they are always in shippers business💀

Antishippers are those who oppose a particular ship or shipping in general (more on that later.)

Proshippers are well- Pro ships.

Pro-Ship

A term mostly used in fandoms, but can stretch outside of this to include original characters. The core belief is that shipping two fictional characters, no matter if they are family, share ages gaps, considered to be unhealthy, or show blatant signs of being abusive or other generally unsavory behaviours, are valid in a fictional setting.

Pro-Shippers or "anti-antis" are also known as "rainbow meaties" and will use 🌈 + 🍖 emojis together often in their bio on twitter or other social media platforms- usually within fictional settings.

These shippers reinforce the idea fiction is separate from reality and shouldn't be confused with the other.

‘Anti’ is short for ‘anti-shipper’ or ‘anti-[ship]’.

Kindly read through this thread to get the gist of it.

III

Shipping non-fictional individuals is a subset of Proshipping, in my opinion, known also as alternative shipping- as far as my knowledge on it goes.

As with fictional shipping, alt ships have their antis too. People who disagree with shipping real couples in a romantic way for whatever arbitrary moral reasons they have and who feel entitled to go out of their way to correct, stop, police and punish such shippers.

Then there are those who although may be pro real people shipping think they have the right to tell others how they should ship and to what extent they can ship.

Others too prefer to ship real people platonically because they view romantic shipping of real people as problematic.

So to answer your question on Anon's post- there is no such thing as a Proshipper who is also Anti shipping. Thats oxymoronic. Perhaps they might be platonic shippers who are anti romantic ships but not necessarily romantic shippers themselves.

I don't think there's anything wrong with preferring to ship platonically. It is when they assume by virtue of their false sense of moderacy that they are better than others that shit starts to get funny.

Those shippers are delusionally confused beings with a supremacist imperialist complex rooted in ignorance and absurdities.

I usually walk by those quietly. keep it pushing. Gotta mind my business somehow even though most times I just want to pull their hair and bite them and shit😭

I try to keep it classy.

Lord knows I try.

You are either pro ship or anti ship. There's no in between. Those shippers who are shippers but claim they are not are nothing but fraudulent, fake us, simps trying to bamboozle their way through life- pardon my Swahili.

There are a lot of anti shippers moonlighting as shippers in this fandom. It's fascinating.

Personally I think those people are either confused or their desires to appeal to other Anti shippers must have morphed their brains into ass dick hybrids.

Anti shippers in general are notorious gatekeepers, gaslighters, bigots, high key sanctimonious and often have a cis white westernized sense of morality and ethics through which they fliter others and expect everyone and everything to conform to.

They impose their values on others, their ethics on others, resort to manipulation, policing, intimidation and bullying to impose their will etc.

Within shipping, there are those who are Proshipping yet anti certain ships. Most Tuktukkers are anti Jikook. And assume anyone who isn't a tuktukker is equally anti Tae Kook and so go ahead and exhibit anti behaviours towards them.

Think of such groups of shippers as Proshippers with a preference for particular ships if you will.

There are Pro shippers who also feel some kind of way about Shipping real life people or alt shipping.

Here's further resource to help you understand what proshipping is

If you are intolerant with other shippers choice of ships or style of shipping and you traumatize them for it that's Anti shipping. Especially if you feel entitled and justified to traumatize others because you take a higher moral status over them.

You can be proship and not like how certain people, how they go about

Simply walk away, click off, mind your business. You are not the only adult in these streets and leave people to do what interests them.

I think for as long as I can remember, I've always been a proshipper and I ship both platonically and romantically, fictionally and alternatively💀

Some themes in fiction are a hard limit for me such as the R word, pedophilia, incest, child abuse- I just can never find the entertainment in those topics and will struggle through such themes.

But others believe it's just FICTION and those fictional characters aren't really dealing with the imaginary struggles we read about.

Yall do you sis.

I don't really know why people make a big deal of it or try to demonize the concept of shipping as if it were something strange or mysterious- just keep your moral values to yourself. I am not your mother's daughter. we were not raised in the same households.

Then again I think it all depends on the different cultures and social backgrounds we all come from and how entitled, supremacist or imperialist they are.

For Yoonmin, I shipped them romantically but didn't think they were a real couple at all. I just romanticized their interactions and found humor in it. At the back of my head I was expecting them each to one day find husbands or wives and go their merry ways and even harbored the thought they each could very much be in serious romantic relationships with others.

In similar ways, I shipped Minimoni and Vmin.

You can ship a pair romantically and not think at all that they are actually REAL.

A lot of jokers ship Jikook romantically and don't assume they are real. Just as a lot of people shipped say Elena and Stefan romantically even though Paul was married.

Some shipped Elena and Damon too due to their unscreen chemistry and even felt they could be a thing- that was before later it was revealed they had started dating in real life. Even that I was holding on to my Bonnie x Damon fantasies because Bonnie was my bias and I shipped her with everyone romantically- of course I didn't expect any of those ships to manifest into something because it was the character I was shipping not Kat herself. To this day I still love her onscreen chemistry and friendship with Damon and don't see how people could wish for it to be more than that😭

It was beautiful as is. Not everything should climax into sexual intercourse.

But if I felt at some point any of her ships had crossed into alternative ships I would have jumped on those and supported it whole heartedly.

If you assume a pair are a real couple and dating in real life that's alt shipping- a lot of alt shippers suspect a ship is real and that's why they ship them.

There is no such thing as platonic alt shipping.

And for me personally, because I believe Jikook are a real couple and have made that cross over I don't ship any of that pair romantically with other members anymore.

It's bizzare to me to ship someone I know has a partner romantically with anybody else- I make exceptions for Vmin of course💀

I know JK is side eyeing me but I don't care.

I want Tae to be happy too😭😭😭

Tae just wants his bestfriend and soulmate😭

It's too much😭😭😭😭😭😭

He stays shooting his shots🤣

Jimin Harem is real🤭

I must admit, I catch myself slipping on Vmin and Minimoni every now and then- old habits die hard and they don't make it easy 😫

But that don't mean I think Vmin is dating. THAT WOULD BE WILD.

Summary

Proshippers can be Platonic or Romantic shippers and you can ship a pair romantically and not assume they are real at all.

Anti shippers are just assholes trying to beat their values down people's throats.

Alt shippers don't ship their OTP with other players romantically.

I don't know what you mean by Jinkooker...

Do you ship Jinkook romantically or think they are real?? Sis...

Maybe you just ship them platonically or casually.

I ship all the ships platonically.

Especially all Jimin"s Tae's ships. I'd let my self flirt with the idea of romance every now and then.

JK's ships don't make sense to me as ships.

As nonplatonic ships I mean.

I'm fascinated each time I see a hardcore JK x any member ship besides Jikook swearing up and down JK is screwing Namjoon🤣🤣

I hope this helps??

GOLDY

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masterthespianduchovny · 3 years

Text

What fascinating about people who claim the anti Sam/Rebecca crowd are infantilizing Sam, with the implication of being racism being a driving factor, is that the aging up of Sam could also equally be argued as racist. But many lack the self awareness to see that or to account for this when lobbing out this defense and implied accusation.

More often than not, young boys and young black men are aged up to prove they knew what they are doing and are hardened criminals. They are seen as adults compared to their white counterparts even when they are legally minors and the white people are adults.

This perception of black boys and men are one of the cornerstones behind the “prison to pipeline” theory. When we refuse to see black boys and men as their age, we do them a massive disservice.

Now, this comes into play with Sam because this logic is being used for the pro Rebecca and sam defense. Sam’s consent and willingness is such a low bar to clear because many young men are interested in older women whether or not it’s to date or fuck them. This consent and willingness has nothing to do with ethics, it’s simply about legality. I’d also assert that the comparison to ted is disingenuous because it’s reactionary and not thoughtful. It pretends that these are two like things when they aren’t.

When we bring maturity into the discussion, it’s not a one size fits all type of thing either. Maturity is such a blanket term and does black children and young black adults disservice because it robs them of youth. Since they’re mature, they should know better or not act like other people their age. And it’s because in a sense, they are seen as older than they are as mentioned.

Stressing how mature Sam is and constantly accusing others of infantilizing him not only ages up Sam, but seeks to silence valid criticism about the red flags and inappropriateness surrounding this relationship.

Someone being consenting and willing isn’t enough when assessing the various power dynamics. That’s a start, not the end all be all when you see such a disparity between two people. I’d assert that due to such a large age gap and the added power imbalance, it’s even more crucial even more discerning regarding such a relationship.

There is nothing wrong with looking out and trying to protect a young black man, esp when society either demonizes them or leave them to their own devices. When such a relationship has the likelihood of blowing up in his face and him dealing with major repercussions as a result, regardless of consent.

And, although this isn’t on the same scale, it reminds me of Monica Lewinsky and Bill Clinton. She was 21 when they had an affair, he was her boss, and it was fully consensual. However, when the news broke, who was dragged through the mud? Who was used as punchline? Who was attacked and stated to have known better?

Monica.

Where as bill’s presidential legacy is largely intact.

As a kid, I thought Monica was so grown. I couldn’t believe she did that.

Even before I turned 21 years ago, I was like, “she was young as fuck.”

She has to deal with harassment, bullying, and death threats. But she consented and was willing, riiiiiight?

Despite admitting it was consensual even to this day, which I’m not disputing, even Monica says the relationship shouldn’t have happened with one of the reasons being her age. And it’s truly fucked up what America put her through to the point she can barely keep a job, resorted to plastic surgery to hide her identity, among other shit. She has to develop a good humor about it because what else are her other options?

When we age up young adults, we don’t prepare them for if shit goes south. We pretend just because they have a certain level of maturity, that they have the knowledge, foresight, and skills to deal with a situation that turned into a shit show.

That is deeply unfair to them. Respecting a young adult’s adulthood doesn’t mean throwing them in the deep end, it means respecting where they are at and understanding the gaps in their knowledge and experience.

Christ, this doesn’t even touch how black kids are believed to be sexually mature at super young ages like 9-10. It’s not because they are, of course; but society projects these beliefs on them and treats them as teens in their later years or younger adults.

With the constant framing of Sam’s maturity and stressing that he consented, one could argue the same is happening here.

Once we get past the low bar of consent and willingness, what’s the worse case scenario of this relationship? The fact that Rebecca doesn’t even have to intentionally seek to harm Sam in order for him to be harmed in this situation should be enough to give everyone pause.

But alas, no matter what the critics say, its alway going to be called infantilization with subtle accusations of racism because these defenses lack nuance or are performative. Undoubtedly, racism exists in fandoms, however, our efforts to combat racism shouldn’t overlook the problematic nature and troubling implications of this relationship being criticized.

Although our first instinct is to protest black characters (and POC), our analyzation of what’s happening shouldn’t end there. We shouldn’t be advocating for something that is most likely detrimental to a black character to spite fans.

And considering the down spiral Rebecca is likely going through, we should want more for Sam than for him to be caught up in that shit.

#ted lasso #sam obisanya

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