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#the reason i tag warm up on so much is bc often i write them between me doing other things so im mostly telling myself to come back and edi
inkskinned · 5 months
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you have to be sexy but you have to be sexy in a way that's kind of bloody. you learn this early because you are wearing a ruffled skirt and the snow around your ankles kicks little sand particles against your calves. baby's first catcall. welcome to sexiness! welcome to the eyesore of your own body!
you have to be sexy like high heels. like sculpted eyebrows. like lean stomach and highly treated hair. you have to be sexy like youth is sexy, which means you have to be sexy like boxtox and plastic. a 30 year old can be sexy but she's not going to be bloody, and they like the bloodiness of it. a 30 year old is sexy when she is a whiskey glass and a wooden desk.
but you need to be sexy like an open mouth. you need to be sexy like a bitten apple. like plucked skin and white-knuckling the waxing kit.
so sex is a performance, not an enjoyment. for a while, you just assumed everyone else was also in on the joke - nobody actually likes sex that much, right? like, some men probably do, but why would you? it is like a gender - your gender is sexy. your gender is the performance of sex. you are thigh highs and garter belts. which, to be fair, do make you feel sexy.
part of what does make sex good is that you can tell that other people want you, which means the performance of sexiness is both bloody and wanted, which is good, which means you are winning at having a body. being wanted is the prize. being wanted is the thing you are searching for, not hope. you think you are looking for a soft grave in easy loam, but that is bloody but not sexy. to be sexy you must be bloody like a red open sign. bloody like a handprint. this will make you wanted.
any wanted or unwanted body is subject to supply and demand, which is to say that the more demand, the better you are valued. you must be highly demanded to be valued. this is stated in matter-of-fact by some men. sometimes it is a priest that says it, and sometimes it is a podcaster, and sometimes it is the 45th president of the united states of america.
(if you do not have any experience with being told your value, i want you to grab the nearest bird to you and i want you to crush it into a thin paste in your hand. spit into the center, and then hold your fingers closed tight around it for days and days, long after the rot has set in. feel bones itch inside of your fist. this is only a fraction of what it actually feels like, but it will suffice for a moment.)
good sex feels like you have earned their desperation. you have earned your own value. for a while you operated under the understanding that everyone knew about the power structure, even him. that their desire to take you - the violence of it - means that you must desire to be caught. little prince, guardian fox - you would rather have cut your own arm off. you liked the secret, cunning little voice you keep tucked into a box. you think you are fucking me. i am not even here right now. you are fucking what i conned you into perceiving. this is a painting, not a person. dominion over the body before all things.
so you bend your body like a wheat shaft and learn the steps so perfectly that it almost seems graceful. (if you do not have experience faking your own connection to your body and sexuality, cut each of your articles of clothing just a little bit incorrectly. pour fishbones into each of your meals. this way, you will experience the average noon on a tuesday.)
you have to be sexy like light spilled over a desk, but not desperate. not a noose. you can't be sexy like an electric guitar, you are the acoustic. you have to be on top of the bull but you can't have control over the animal.
okay, okay. the little rabbit of your heart went to sleep so long ago that winter has ravaged your concept of the human soul. there's something very-bad inside you, something that has taken over, a little fetid and rabid animal, angry and hurting and willing to bite first.
oh but even that's a pain that's sexy. open your mouth. be careful not to let the canines show.
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romana-after-dark · 9 months
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Finish the Job
Yandere!Jake Lockley x GN!reader
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Summary: After months living in a room with only Jake, Steven and Marc as company, you can't say you aren't content most of the time. Sometimes, however you make a little trouble and Jake reminds you that he is the only one who can keep you safe.
CONTENT WARNINGS: Yandere!Jake. Reader is kidnapped. Implied/referenced rape (reader 'never said no' according to jake, but rather just gave in after an unclosed amount of time bc they were lonely/manipulated. The circumstances of this are v vague but remember, if you feel like you have to, its not consent.) Jake Lockley typical violence. Referenced past abuse.
A/N: I began writing this fem reader, as most of my fics are since I am fem, but I realized there was no reason this couldn't be gender neutral. So, that's what it is. If I missed changing anything that makes it seem like reader is fem presenting, lmk and I'll edit it but I looked through this several times.
*************************
You couldn’t say the bed was uncomfortable. You couldn’t say the room was bland or boring. You couldn’t say you had nothing to do. It was a great room, actually. If you were being honest, you loved it here…
The problem was you couldn’t leave. When the man had taken you, it took a while to figure out what was going on with him; it was Steven that explained it, the DID. Honestly, maybe the mental disorder should have scared you more, but you were well versed in different disorders so it wasn’t something that phased you, rather than just made it a challenge to navigate your situation. You were given book after book after book to read, to entertain you when outside of Marc Steven and Jake’s company; it didn't matter how many you went through, you just had them. If you were feeling brave, you made requests but honestly after the boredom of the first month while you were still fighting it, you took what you could get. You were even given a laptop, although it couldn’t possibly connect to the internet, but you were writing. They didn’t even make you show them what you wrote, but Steven would often sit on the bed while you read to him your poems or short stories. You were saving your novel for when it’s finished.
Some days were better than others. 
Some days you and Steven talked for hours.
Some days you and Marc marathonned Star Wars.
Some days Jake held you so warm and so tightly you forgot they kidnapped you.
Today was not one of those days.
You were angry, you were upset, you missed your friends and you missed the outside, you wanted fresh air and you didn’t want to spread your legs for a man that took you away from everything you knew and wanted. 
“Why are you giving me so much fucking attitude today?!” Jake shouts at you, pacing the floor of your room so aggressively he had your throw rug all twisted up.
You were sat up on your bed, shouting back. “You KIDNAPPED ME, you HURT ME you RAPE ME-”
“CALLATE!” He screamed, storming towards you so fast you flinch and scramble back to the wall. “You know I don’t like when you call it that!”
A sardonic laugh. “What? Rape?”
“I never forced you! I never held you down! I never got you too drunk or high to resist-”
“YOU TOOK ME AWAY FROM EVERYTHING AND EVERYONE, WHAT OTHER OPTION DID I HAVE!”
His face is suddenly right up to yours, so close your nose brushed his briefly as he speaks in a dark, quiet voice. “I never heard you say no, mi vida”
He was right. You hadn’t. But they had worn you down, twisted your mind so much that eventually you just began… giving in.
He continued talking, his voice rumbling with the low octive “I only hurt you in the beginning, carino. Just until you began to listen. You needed it, didn’t you? Someone to take you away from everything, take care of you, feed you. Baby, we adore you, and it hurts us when you fight like this.”
Your eyes wheeled up with tears at his words. It’s true, you had become so dependent on them… you weren’t sure you could even shower alone anymore. You’d be lucky if you remembered how to toast bread. Sickeningly, a part of you liked it. You liked he cared for, pampered, adored, and fuck, worshiped. You had time to write, time to listen to music and podcasts. If you need to look up something for a book or research something from a podcast that interested you, you just asked, and the boys would monitor you. You didn’t really need anything except some goddamn freedom. What was that they said in The Handmaid’s Tale? There’s freedom too, and freedom from… They offered you freedom from, and made that clear.
“The world is dangerous, precioso. You know that as well as I do… perhaps better.” With a cocked eyebrow, Jake referenced your past trauma’s, forcing the tears to spill over. “You are too precious, too perfect to be put at risk again. Your family didn’t protect you, but I will.”
Still, you are ever-defiant, shaking your head. “N-no… you aren’t protecting me. You’re hurting me…” but even then, you couldn’t manage much conviction. You hadn’t so much as burned your tongue since Steven, Marc, and Jake took you, and he was right… the rest was just discipline. 
Jake frowned, but simple stood up. He went over to your desk, taking out a Glee notepad he’d found on ebay for you and a pen, tossing them in your direction.
“Write them down, all the names.”
You look at him confused. “W-what names?”
He stalked forward, once again close to you.
“Give me the full name of anyone who has ever hurt you or touched you without your consent.” His gaze was focused, intense. You knew he was on a mission when he looked at you like that.
“I don’t… I don’t know all their full names…”
“If you have workplace addresses, any identifying information that’s helpful. I promise you, I’ll take whatever you give me and I will find them. Every single person who has ever caused you pain.”
“What are you going to do?” You didn’t really need to ask, but you did anyway.
“You and I both know. Now write.”
The list was long, longer than any one person’s list should be. A few, you only remembered their first name so you wrote down what you knew… Jake had his ways. Still, you had some cheek in you, and when Jake looked at the paper, he frowned.
“What the fuck is this.” He smacked the paper with his hand. After the list of people who had violated or harmed you before you came here, were three names Jake recognized right away.
Jake Lockley
Steven Grant
Marc Spector
“You told me to write the names of anyone who hurt me or touched me without-” SMACK! Your head flung to the side from the backhand, and when your turned back to face him, his hand gripped your throat.
“You think this is funny, carino?” His face pressed against yours. “How do you think Marc would feel if he saw his name on that list?”
Your lip quivered at that… you didn’t want Marc to see. Marc was special to you, and Jake knew it; he often exploited your relationship with his alter for his own benefit.
“I’m sorry” You cried, apologetic.
His grip on you loosened, and he looked back at you with sympathetic eyes. Letting go, he tore the bottom three names off the paper and tucked the offenders into his pocket. “I know you are, amor. Now, you sit here pretty, and don’t worry about a damn thing for the rest of your life, si?”
It took about a month. He never left you for more than one day at a time, but he always made sure you had food and were provided for, even giving you access to the bathroom. You didn’t dare even look for an exit; they wouldn’t have left anything vulnerable, and you were on camera, you knew. It would just cause trouble.
It was after one of those such nights where you were alone that he came back to you, still somehow looking put together after being out all night. You knew he hadn’t slept. You awake to his footsteps, heavy boots on your polished hard wood floor. As you stir, a piece of paper is placed on your pillow.
Sitting up you rub your eyes. “Jake, what’s- ” But you are stopped in the middle of your sentence. Every single name is crossed out on the list you had given him. “Does… does what mean they are dead?”
He steps forward, slipping to stand between your knees and bedding over, placing his hands on your thighs. His face was intensely close to yours, dark eyes piercing yours. You lean forward, accepting him in, existing in his precise. Jake did this for you. You were safe here, none of these people could hurt you… but because they had, whether months ago or decades, it didn’t matter. They were dead because they had crossed you, because they had dared to touch what Jake Lockley laid claim to. Jake, Marc and Steven… they were where you belonged.
 “Jake Lockley finishes the job.”
**************
@my-secret-shame-but-fanfiction @howaboutcastiel @the-fox-den @fandxmslxt69
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underdark-dreams · 7 months
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Hey idk if you only write Tav x character but I am STARVED!!! Starved I say! For Karach x Dammon content. It just makes so much sense and as someone who remained platonic with Karlach I still wanted her to get some action and seeing how Dammon was RIGHT! FUCKING! THERE! It makes sense that they could maybe hook up and he’s been invested in helping her too and huuuuuuuUUUUUUUUH.
I know you like writing about them tieflings so if eventually if you are able you could write the two of them going at it like the touch starved babies they both are (Karlach for obvious reasons and Dammon bc he’s probably focused on his work most of the time).
I’m still shook over your Rolan x Tav fanfic you wrote and I can’t wait to see what you write in the future!
Dammon x Karlach [Explicit]
Touchable
"Damn I'm good. And you, you're...very touchable." An infernal blacksmith and a Blood War veteran walk into a bar. Who would have guessed that Dammon is a natural when it comes to handling fire?
Tags: Explicit Sexual Content, Gentle Angst, Sweet/Hot
Word Count: 3,460 [Read on AO3]
“Of course, you’ll need to install it yourself.”
"Of course, of course—can’t touch the giant flaming woman," Karlach grinned at him. 
Dammon often noticed that Karlach smiled when things made her sad. He remembered the moment well, remembered each time he'd been given an opportunity to help tune that engine of hers.
Their most recent conversation stuck out with particular pain in his mind.
He'd spent many late nights burning the candles down in his room as he sketched and diagrammed and theorized. No matter how many sheets of parchment he filled, Dammon kept arriving at the same awful conclusion.
Even with his niche skills, he was all out of options for Karlach. She could either return to the sustaining fires of Avernus, or live on this plane however long she could manage before her engine was snuffed out.
Dammon couldn't even calculate whether she had years left or only months. Somehow, that made it so much more terrible.
Karlach took the news with superhuman optimism, the way she approached most things. She thanked him with tears in her eyes for at least giving her back the chance to touch and be touched. For that, her first hug in ten years was his. 
Hopefully it wouldn't be the last, Dammon found himself thinking, as her warm body pressed up firmly against him. She wasn't the only one who was long overdue for some physical affection.
Dammon had always thought of her now and then as he worked in his forge. Usually it was idle and passing, wondering whether her infernal parts were giving her any trouble. 
But lately, it was hard to shake her from his mind at all. Had she found someone to finally take to bed yet? Surely so, with how many years she'd be confined to unwilling celibacy. 
It embarrassed him to admit, but he fervently wished it could've been him. He wasn't much more than a humble smith, and she was practically the city’s hero at this point. How many times had she saved his own life? He'd lost track.
All these thoughts ran through Dammon's mind from where he sat at the bar of the Blushing Mermaid. As he surfaced from his reflection, the din and noise of the place pressed against his ears again.
Not as reputable as the Elfsong, perhaps, but it was closer to his forge. And it was easier to be left to yourself when all the other patrons were already piss-drunk.
"Hey, soldier!"
A friendly hand clapped his back, causing Dammon to nearly choke on his pint as Karlach slid into the seat beside him.
"Sorry," she said with a grimace, but her eyes were sparkling. "Gods, am I glad to see you."
Dammon wiped his mouth in surprise as she swung her very large mug up on the table. "You too, Karlach," he said with a genuine smile. It was like the very strength of his thoughts had conjured her. She looked better than ever.
"I didn't expect to see you here," he admitted. "I thought you'd be out enjoying the new you."
"Fucking someone's brains out, you mean?" Karlach finished for him. Dammon found her bluntness unbelievably attractive.
"To be honest that's why I'm here," she admitted, and rubbed her neck with a hand. "Camp's a bit awkward at the moment. I may have made a pass at Wyll that wasn't, er…enthusiastically received. Think I scared him off a bit," she finished ruefully.
Very much Wyll's loss, Dammon thought to himself. What he wouldn't give.
"Well, you picked the right place for drowning sorrows," he told her aloud. As if on cue, there was a loud chorus of booing as an empty glass went hurtling across the room to land on the low stage, where the half-orc lute player promptly lobbed it back into the crowd with a shattering crash. Dammon raised his arm out in demonstration of his point; Karlach was already cracking up.
"Fucking missed this city," she laughed, wiping a tear of mirth from her eye. They each took a generous drink of ale.
But Karlach wasn't distracted for long. "I just wish, you know?" She sighed. "I wish I could be with someone who understands a little bit. Sex is fabulous on its own, but I want everything, all of it."
"What's stopping you?" Dammon asked her, wondering what it would take for her to see him as a very viable option.
"So many things," she said. "I appreciate what you've done for me Dammon, please believe that I do, but…I still feel more machine than Karlach." 
"I'm pretty handy with mechanics, you know." Dammon was flirting with her despite himself. He couldn't help it; she was so radiant and lovely as she sat there close beside him.
Karlach finally glanced over at him, and he saw in her eyes that she'd caught it. 
"You must know I like you," she said, her voice low but intense. "Dammon, I like you so much. But you're so lovely, and I'm—" She gestured a hand down her front. "—This. Wild, unstable. What if I end up, I don't know, hurting you somehow?” She looked at him with a pained expression. “A guy like you deserves someone tender, and I'm not sure that's me."
All traces of joking were gone; the air between them had grown serious in a second. Dammon's heart thrummed strong against his ribs, and he reached for her fingers before he could stop himself.
"Maybe forget what you think I deserve, and listen to what I’m saying." He shook his head at her. "Karlach, you talk like you're some kind of monster. So you've got an infernal engine in your chest. And sure, you're tall as hell. But I mean, you've got plenty of—you're not short on any of the—" He was casting around for a gentlemanly way to describe her curves and realizing that it probably didn’t exist.
"Spit it out," Karlach teased him. But her expectant expression made his face grow warm.
"I just wish you wouldn't talk down about yourself like that," Dammon explained. "You're very womanly, and plenty desirable."
"Oh," she said, taken aback. Her free hand fiddled with the handle of her mug. "That's…no one's ever said something like that to me before."
What a damn shame that was. Dammon watched the doubt and confusion work over her features. How long had she thought of herself as nothing more than a tin soldier? He'd fixed what parts of her his hands could tend, but something in the way she saw herself was still broken. 
Dammon squeezed her fingers under his. "Karlach, there's so much about you to love. That I love. You are…an incredibly beautiful woman. Don't you know that?"
Karlach stared at him with wide eyes; her face looked somehow younger and softer. For a person so sure of everyone else's worth, she seemed so blind and unsure of her own.
"I am?" She asked, so quietly it broke his heart a little.
Dammon could only think of answering with a kiss. He leaned in with a careful tilt of the head, eyes on her mouth—in the last second he was elated to feel her lean forward to close the distance.
He would've honestly, truly believed that there were sparks between them. There was the fiery warmth of her skin, but Dammon also felt a tingling jolt between their lips that had nothing to do with her heat. His insides sung at the feeling of her lips moving over his with just as much urgency as he felt.
Dammon pulled her face deeper to him with a hand at the back of her neck. As his tongue explored her mouth and sought hers, he felt one of Karlach’s palms rest against his thigh. He could have choked on the desire that rose in his throat at her touch.
They both pulled away at the same instant.
"Your place?" She prompted, breathless.
"Mine," Dammon agreed. It was only a few minutes away, and though his bed was cramped even for one, he expected they wouldn't be sleeping much.
Dammon dumped some coin on the bar in a rush before they made their way outside. The cool breeze through the streets made him realize just how flushed and heated his skin was. His arm sought Karlach's waist beside him as they walked, and a thrill went through him at how lovely it was to finally hold her close. She seemed to feel the same.
"Gods, I can't wait to ride you," she said huskily. Dammon tried to keep a grip on his composure; her brazen eagerness made it very difficult. He settled for pulling her into a quick, heated kiss as they continued on. 
The two of them practically stumbled over the dark cobblestones of the entryway in their haze, both buzzing with impatience and expectation. By the time his nervous fingers had finally made work of the lock to his quarters, they were on each other before the door had latched behind them.
Karlach's leg hitched up over his hip as she devoured his mouth. Dammon's hand gripped behind her knee at once, holding their bodies steady against each other, kissing her back with sheer years of pent-up enthusiasm.
"You're strong," Karlach said as she surfaced, sounding pleased and surprised at once.
"'I'd hope so, after throwing around that hammer so long."
"You can throw me around." After a pause she added, "That's an invitation."
"I got that," Dammon grinned, absolutely smitten with her, and captured her lips again.
He guided them both toward the far end of his room and tumbled over her when they reached the mattress. His hands grazed the edge of her shirt, desire muddling his understanding of how to undo the many buckles and straps.
She took more pity on him than he deserved. Almost before he could blink she had freed herself of all her clothing, laying back naked before him on his bed. Pale, dim moonlight from the window illuminated her figure.
She was extraordinary.
Dammon quickly tugged his shirt past his snagging horns, wishing to feel her skin against his as soon as possible. Even before his head was free, he felt Karlach’s fingers helping with his pants, tugging them down past his hips and sliding them off onto the floor.
He hovered over her as they gazed at each other. The promise of bare flesh against flesh was almost overwhelming, now they were here. Dammon leaned down to place a tender kiss on her lips and then descended to explore her neck. 
Karlach’s arms clutched him eagerly as he kissed along her soft, warm skin. When he made his way down to her chest, he placed lips tenderly above her breast where the soft ticking of machinery resounded. It may not be a flesh and blood heart, but its rhythm was no less dear to him. She let out a soft, low hum.
Dammon wished he had more patience to linger. But instead he pushed his body down between her thighs, glancing up to check in on her for just a moment. Karlach watched him with a pained expression, lips parted—as if afraid he might not follow through with what his movements suggested. 
He wouldn't be teasing her for one second tonight. Dammon leaned down and ran the warm flat of his tongue up over her center.
His head was jerked slightly to the side as she grabbed at one of his horns with a moan. He didn't break from her, only licked at her steadily, smoothing and spreading her wetness up and over her soft folds. 
Even after all the work he'd done to cool her, she was still molten hot under his tongue—he thanked every god in the universe for his natural resistance. His lips closed firmly over her clit, sucking the spot as his tongue rolled her side to side in an achingly slow rhythm.
"Holy fuck," she panted from somewhere above him. "Holy fuck, Dammon—"
He curled one arm under and around her thigh, used thumb and index finger to spread her better for his mouth. He released his lips’ suction with an obscenely wet sound, replacing it with the circling pad of his thumb. She was delicious, but he sought to taste her deeper.
Dammon's tongue plunged deep into her cunt, so far that his nose pressed against where his fingers worked against her clit. 
Karlach cried out and squirmed violently under his mouth. Dammon's arms held her firm, angling her hips up and open against his searching mouth. His tongue thrust over and over unto her unbelievable heat as he tasted the sweet center of her, felt her satin walls constrict around him with each nudge of his tongue.
By now his own erection pressed painfully into the bed under him. He only shifted a little and continued on. She had so much more time to make up for, and Dammon was determined to be the one to satisfy her.
It wasn't long before Karlach's thighs were trembling against his ears. "Please," she whimpered desperately, nails clutching his hair to hold his face against her, as if begging him not to stop. He wouldn't have dreamed of it. His mouth worked her over with more enthusiasm than ever, swirling and sucking against her hot folds.
When she came around his tongue, the rush of her heat burst against his mouth and gushed out from her core. Dammon thought he might come just from the way her legs clenched desperately to keep his mouth working over her. He lapped up her sweet release faithfully with his tongue, even as his ears took in the far sweeter sounds of her shuddering, gasping moans.
Only once the twitching waves of her climax were receding under his lips did he glance up over her to see her face. 
Karlach’s eyes were closed, an expression of transcendent bliss painting her features. As he watched her pant through parted lips, her eyes opened slightly to look down at him where he still hovered between her thighs. He knew the lower half of his face must be dripping with her climax.
With a guttural sound, Karlach’s legs gripped around his middle to pull him just to where her arms could take over and guide him up over her. Dammon gathered himself just in time to land with palms braced on either side of her.
“Wait—” Dammon started, wishing to clean himself up first, but she was already pulling him into a kiss. She licked across his lips, tasting herself on him, before her tongue demanded entry into his mouth. He yielded more than willingly.
His painfully hard cock grazed her thigh as he moved over her. Karlach groaned into his mouth; the vibration of her lips against his sent yet another rush of blood to his throbbing length.
She broke away with a fresh glint of arousal already building behind her eyes. “Inside,” she directed him. “Right fucking now.”
Dammon needed no more encouragement. With fingers grasping under her back, he firmly lifted her body up and over his lap. The way she landed over him pressed her still-dripping heat against the underside of his cock. A trembling groan escaped him at the sensation. Nevertheless, he gathered himself enough to scoot back against the headboard for support.
Before he could fully prepare himself, Karlach’s hand had guided his tip between her folds. In the next motion, she descended down around his whole length at once.
“Fuck,” Dammon gasped. He wished he could find something more eloquent or romantic to describe the feeling, but his mind was wholly overwhelmed by the fiery warmth that gripped all around his cock. He could even feel her walls still fluttering against him from her recent climax. His fingertips dug into the flesh of her hips.
They crossed glances as she sat still to take him for a moment. Karlach’s eyes shone with desire and excitement, and something almost like love. One of Dammon’s hands slid up along her spine, dipping her neck down, capturing her lips in a tender kiss. He felt his mouth shaking slightly against hers.
“Every time alone, I imagined this,” Karlach breathed against him as they parted. 
Dammon thought he might unravel completely at her words. He leaned back against the hard wood behind him, eyes taking in every beautiful inch of her flesh, inviting her to do whatever she wanted with him.
She accepted the offer wordlessly. As her fingers clasped behind his neck, Karlach rocked her hips up and down over his length. He felt his jaw go slack at the feel of her heat surrounding him, taking him, over and over and over—
Dammon’s grip dug into her hips to add more force with each of her rhythmic thrusts down onto him. He gazed up at her with pure adoration as she took him. The feel of her warm skin against his lit a fire in his chest; his cock throbbed against the hot, squeezing silk of her walls.
“You’re so beautiful,” Dammon gasped before he could think. It was the truth, and she deserved to be told it—she deserved everything. He held her tight on his lap as took him, chasing her next release. Karlach’s hips faltered for a moment, and he realized she was already close.
Dammon felt her thighs trembling against him and pushed his back up straight to hold her closer as she rode his length. His palms pressed against her back, strong forearms circling and supporting her as she started to come apart yet again.
And she did—with a shuddering quake, Karlach grabbed his shoulders and let out a jumbled cry that was some mix of obscenities and his name.
She was incredible. Dammon watched the agony and ecstasy on her face as long as he could bear, as she rode out her second orgasm onto him, as her tight heat gripped and pulsed relentlessly around his cock. In the next moment his eyes squeezed shut as he was thrown wide to the delayed force of his own release, his hands spasming against her back as stars burst bright behind his eyelids.
After a long moment filled with nothing but the sounds of them keening and panting against each other, her chin dropped over his shoulder. Dammon felt her arms circle to grip around him tight.
As he listened to her breathing slow, she began to shake against him again. 
This time it was from the quiet sobs that heaved up from her chest. He held her head against the crook of his shoulder and stroked her hair as her tears flowed, feeling the droplets splash against and roll down his back.
Karlach cried from joy, blessed relief, aching sadness…from the pain of so much lost time and the knowledge of her limited future. It wasn't fair, none of it, and Dammon didn't know a single thing to say that might ease her burdened heart. 
Engine or no, she had more heart than anyone he'd ever known. He could only hold her to him tight as could be.
Seeking to comfort her further, Dammon worked his hips down the bed with her seated on him and tipped their connected bodies gently backwards. She collapsed without resistance on top of and against him. At least he could support her for a while, even if it was just with his silent body. 
After a little while, Karlach raised her head to look at him. Her face was streaked with tear tracks, but she was trying to smile through trembling lips. "I'm s-sorry," she choked out.
Dammon’s heart couldn’t bear it. He silenced her at once with a kiss. "Don't apologize to me," he whispered to her as he broke away, "or to anyone, ever."
He gathered her back up in his arms immediately. Karlach didn’t protest, only rested her cheek against his chest with a shuddering sigh. Dammon was vaguely aware of the sheen of sweat cooling all over his bare skin, but with her warm body nestled back up against him, he was more than comfortable.
Dammon pressed his lips to the skin of her forehead. He closed his eyes to focus on the way his heart beat against her chest; the steady hum of her body reverberated against him in response. Despite everything, the sound was dearer to him than he thought possible.
“Ready to go again?” Karlach asked suddenly. 
Dammon chuckled low in his chest, feeling the delayed ache in his limbs and realizing a bit late that the night’s exertions had only just begun.
“Give me a few minutes,” he requested with a lazy smile. “We’ve got time.”
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coolaboutlucy · 4 months
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Love story au: you and Abby have a sort of forbidden secret romance 💛 takes place during medieval time.
𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙬𝙝𝙞𝙨𝙥𝙚𝙧𝙨 𝙬𝙞𝙩𝙝𝙞𝙣 𝙩𝙝𝙚𝙨𝙚 𝙬𝙖𝙡𝙡𝙨 | 𝙖. 𝙖𝙣𝙙𝙚𝙧𝙨𝙤𝙣
pairing: abby anderson x afab!reader
tags: (sorta modernized!) shakespearean english, no smut, abbys father is mentioned, reader lowkey living that rapunzel lifestyle but like not rlly. 😭🙏, abby has a bow and arrow, im still terrible at tagging, so i probably missed some stuff??
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a/n: honestly, i rlly only chose this song for this fic bc i was watching berlin while writing this and lowk.. i figured that it was fitting! honestly this prompt was super fun to do!!! i absolutely loved doing this, and i promise i will finish out my requests soon. 😭🙏 there’s still two more i have to start. uploads might be slow next week since i have some tests at school but ill def still try to be active here. ^^
You weren’t supposed to see each other, it was forbidden. Ever since your families began to quarrel, they had kept you held up in your room for seemingly no reason at all. Your father often fought with Abby’s, and they’d go extreme lengths to show their superiority, whether it be trading and buying the most expensive things they could, draping their daughters and significant other in the finest silks, or flat out going toe-to-toe with each other. Of course, you had already been seeing her secretly beforehand, and she showed you things you weren’t ever gonna be allowed to see. Fighting tournaments, erotic literature, the finest alcoholic beverages her kingdom had to offer, and how it felt to rebel. You loved doing these things with her.
These days, you’d been confined to the stone walls of your room, cold floors, and whatever other luxuries your father decided to drape you in. You were only allowed outside for a few minutes, or whatever your father allowed. It happened to be 45 minutes today. During this time you and Abby meet up secretly. Today, you found yourself running through the thick forest behind your castle. You were out of breath and your mouth went dry, but there she was. Her long braid would’ve been noticeable from any distance. You catch your breath and you stand up straight. “Abby.” You say with a smile. She turns to you with a smile, holding her bow and arrow. “Wherefore doth thee at each moment come running to see me? What is the reason behind thy eag'rness to seeth me?” The curiosity in her tone was playful. “I couldn’t possibly miss out on seeing thee. I'm willing to wend to most wondrous lengths just to beest with thee, coequal if 't be true t means running a million miles. You know that I can't be outside f'r long these days, so I want to make it count.” You admit as your smile grows. Abby chuckles. “Nobodys ever did like me so much to running to me ev'ryday. Concluded, be it, follow me. I want to showeth thee something, and I think you’d plaited it.”
   Abby takes your hand and she leads you deeper into the forest. The flora of the forest was to die for this season. The beautiful greens, the flowers, the dew drops sliding off tree leaves, it was a sight that was just impossible to want to not see. But it was only something the two of you knew about. After some time, she stops by some trees. Attached to them were some targets. “I suppose thee haven’t forgotten that day we spent a few fortnights ago? Did thee say.. thee did want to see how valorous mine aim was, no?” Abby asked with a smile. You nod enthusiastically. “Oh, of course I’d want to see how well thee uses yond bow and arrow. You speak so highly of thy aim, I’m sure it’s better than any sirs in the entire kingdom.” Abby always found your enthusiasm cute. Her body felt warm and fuzzy, as stupid and cliche it sounds, but she always felt that way around you. She loved how alive you made her feel. She readies her bow and arrow, and you watch her. You observe her pulling the string back and being mindful of how much she does. She inhales and loses the arrow in the middle of her exhale. Dead center of the target! She turns to you with a smile as your face lights up equally as bright.
   She was amazing! God, you’ve seen men competing for the other princesses hands in marriage (thanks to Abby), but you wanted her to do this for you when your time came. “That wast most wondrous! Oh my gosh, thee should it again. I want to see you do it again!” You say as you give her a face of pleading. She lets out a small chuckle before she turns to another target. This time, she decides to be flashy. She readies an arrow yet again, closing her eyes before she lets it loose. She opens her eyes to find that it had just nearly hit beneath the target. She shrugs her shoulders with a small smile. “Well, art thee did impress, princess?” She asks as she goes to collect her arrows. You turn to her with a small smile. “Of course I’m impressed.  Thee nev'r faileth to impresseth me, Abigail.” “That’s the second timeth you’ve hath called me that. I still rememb'r the first liketh it’s yest'rday.” Abby’s cheeks were dusted in a pink blush as she remembered that day you’d asked her out. All loopy from your drinking, your drunken rambling had resulted in you asking her out. “I rememb'r that day fondly. It was the day I hath asked thee out.” You reply in a soft tone almost as if you were falling in love with her all over again. But you couldn’t help it. This woman was timeless, and she never failed to take your breath away no matter what she did. Whether it be simple housework, gardening, or using that bow and arrow. Every aspect of Abby was attractive. Once all her arrows had been collected, she walks back over to you. She grabs your hands, her thumb gently grazing your knuckles as she looks in your eyes. Your gaze meets hers. She smiles, you look away with a giggle. She turns you back to face her. “I loveth thee. For many nights, I’ve hadst these dreams. Those dreams beshrew mine own mind.  All of those were about thee. Well, us.  Running hence. Being joyous. Not having to encave our love.” Her voice was soft. Her tone was sincere.
   Her gaze softened. One hand comes to softly hold your face. You melt. You couldn’t stop the words from spilling out of your mouth now. “I want to be with thee. I’m not restful of hiding. I want to run in the lush gardens, waketh to a sleep chamber that isn’t bitter cold, and stay out with thee for howev'r long mine own heart desires.” You smile at her and she smiles back. Slowly, her eyes become half lidded and she moves closer to you. “Run away with me, princess.” She whispered before she softly pressed her lips to yours. She pulled away for a moment to see if you were okay with it, but when you pulled her right back in, it solidified that you were more than okay with this. Her arms wrap around your waist, and yours find solace around her neck. This moment felt surreal. Being surrounded by forest, her hands on your body, the humming sound of cicadas and whatever else was in the forest, and the sounds of her soft, quiet moans filled your ears and burned in your memory. While you’re kissing her, you remember its way past the time you should’ve returned. You pull away. “Goodness, it’s getting late. We shall meet. Here, before sundown. I expect to see thee waiting for me here.” You say sweetly but in a rushed manner. She crosses her arms, then closing her eyes as she gives you a confirming nod before she bids you farewell. “I’ll see you soon, princess.” She says as she watches you walk off, then turning to head towards her own castle. This was the start of living freely, not confined by the restraints of parents.
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russilton · 2 years
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i've been stalking your blog and both your fic snippets and artwork is so beautiful!! i was wondering if i will leave you notes is a finished fic? there was like one post abt it and it doesn't seem to be on ao3 (def already in love with the fic, no pressure if there isn't anything else sending lots of love!)
🥺 I love a good blog stalker, I’m so glad you like both the fics and art! I rlly love being able to do both, even if it triples my wips…
I will leave you notes is so close to finished! It’s the first fic I started writing for F1 RPF, way back in May! But it just kept growing, and I so want to finish it right because I love it so much.
The reason you only see it mentioned once is you’re the first to ask about it! I don’t like to post wips if I’m not sure anyone would like them hahah, not without prompt at least. And I will leave you notes has a slightly less exciting tag line bc it’s just a 2022 season get together fic all about how George and Lewis become more and more tactile with each other.
Additional fun fact: I wrote a whole scene of this sitting on a hill next to the wellington straight bridge at Silverstone when I went to watch Friday practice. Just so I could say that I did it lmao.
But since you’re here, I’ll give you the scene that started it all below the cut:
This first time Lewis touches George, it feels like lightning in his veins. Okay, it isn’t technically the first time, in years of being a Mercedes’ junior they had rubbed shoulders or been dragged into group pictures more than once, but those were accidental, fleeting brushes with no intent behind them.
This though is on purpose, a firm pat and a hand sliding down his arm as Lewis crouches next to where George is squeezed into the mock car for a test seat fitting. His hand is heavy and warm, stopping on George’s wrist and grounding him in a way that shouldn’t be possible. George can barely hear what various engineers are trying to point out to him over the pounding of blood in his ears. Voices fade into the background of George’s periphery, his attention too caught up in the soft tone of Lewis’s voice so close now, the smell of his cologne overpowering. It should make George wince, being this overstimulated, but instead he focuses on trying to take inconspicuous breaths, not too deep, but just enough to draw the smell into his nose.
When his ears stop ringing and he can hear Lewis properly again, he realises he’s supposed to be figuring out if the seat is rubbing anywhere. He thinks of the last time he was in a Mercedes’ seat, cramped tight, feet bruised and knuckles bleeding from trying to perform for the team and himself in Lewis’ crushing absence, the sides of the cockpit not the only thing pressing down on his shoulders. He didn’t get to speak to Lewis after, too caught up in the end of the season, and plagued by guilt-laced frustration. It didn’t feel right to seek him out either, when Lewis was clearly struggling with recovery and probably wouldn’t have appreciated George telling him how much he loved driving his car. The bruises on his calves were a reminder enough of how close he’d been.
This is a world away, the team is already trying to estimate his frame, but he misses the pain somewhat, because he remembers the emotion that came with it. Even a year later he thinks about Bahrain often. Dragging himself out of his memory he forces himself to listen properly to what Lewis is telling him.
“Make sure you shift about, really get a feel for the seat, and tell the team everything. Something that isn’t too bad right now will feel a hell of a lot different after 2 hours, especially towards the front of the grid”
Lewis winks at him then, and George fights the urge to shiver and hopes the flush climbing his cheeks will be written off as excitement. The older Brit is just being friendly, but George feels hero worship and something he doesn’t want to label, churning inside him. Shoving that to the back of his mind to unpack later when he doesn’t have multiple sets of eyes on him, he lets the larger reality of what’s happening set in. This is his seat, he’s in his dream car, next to the greatest driver in the world. He lets a giddy grin overtake him and laughter bubble in his chest.
When his eyes flick to Lewis, he gets a blinding smile back, and George feels that fragile, unlabelled feeling grow. He wants to bottle this feeling, but it’s over quickly, Lewis moving on to talk to senior engineers and machinists about the new car. All George can do is try to focus on what Shov is trying to tell him. It’s not like he won’t see Lewis again, they work together now.
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unlimitedhorsepower · 11 months
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Tagged by: @thevoiceofthanatos​
Favorite color: warm bright yellow, mustard yellow & old gold, and just yellow in general. its a good colour. it makes me happy
Currently reading: idk, probably star trek fanfic my friend @rubbertplant​ was writing to give my opinion on it. i often read through my own stuff too lol, like whoah i wrote that??? ADHD has taken everything from me including my capability to read though, for real. ive been thinking of trying to listen to some audiobooks recently though, this cannot continue... its just that i also have no ears disease so idk how well that would go. determined to try though
Last song you listened to: havent been listening to music so much bc ive been playing videos instead but my last.fm has all my spotify listens so itll stay up to date on whatever i listened to last. currently seems to be “please play-bite” by pinocchioP. i often just let spotify play me whatever it recommends anyhow so theres variance. and i only started this account like a few months ago max so its not really a full picture of my music-listening
Last movie (in theaters): its not really a movie, but if it counts, the first ginga nagareboshi gin stageplay (recorded and released in finland in theaters with subs)
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ginga was always huge in finland for some reason. idk. the anime is so violent though that i got really afraid of bears for some reason. theres so much blood... i never read the manga either i just knew of the anime and partook in my share of wolf roleplays (dogs were uncool! so i didnt do dog roleplays. iirc that really was my reason).
heres some funny wolves from my wolf rp days
2010. one of the first things i coloured digitally... i painstakingly cleaned the scanned pencil lineart with a mouse
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2011. i had gotten my first drawing tablet as a birthday/xmas gift and practiced a ton around this time (more than just wolves lol)
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Last series I watched: trigun stampede. even changed my phone bg into vash... but millions knives is probably my favourite. he just does everything wrong and makes his life worse. and everyone elses life too bc he sucks. but hes multifaceted so hes also my meow meow and whatever. i hope a ford explorer drives over him
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if it counts though, ive seen some star trek TOS episodes and movies because my friends have been watching them. im not super into it but its always fun to hang. i also dont watch a lot of stuff. i dont even know what i do. guy who doesnt read or watch things but listens to jerma videos on youtube without actually looking at them while i “draw” and “write”
Craving: food honestly. i should cook something lmfao. i also want soda so bad but i dont have any. id make some tea but its disgustingly warm in my house so i only want cool drinks. could kill for a nice milkshake or a smoothie rn i think
Tea or coffee: tea... im the only finnish person who doesnt drink coffee for real. also got really into loose leaf tea bc i befriended a chinese lady who is really into tea and has a tea shop in the city near where i live
Currently working on: drawing this and trying to think how i want to do it. somehow want to incorporate flat colours and maybe shade his body naturally, and make the blood look realistic instead of flat colours... hmm not sure yet what i want to do
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other than that im trying to proofread the chapter of my ryanyuri fanfic i already published because theres a lot of typos and strange sentences in there but its been a chore bc my body breaks down when it gets too warm smfh... not looking forward to when my apt goes over 30 degrees celsius it is unlivable. im also trying to complete a “lookbook” of my tnb sims. but i always start huge projects that take three million years to complete and im really slow lmfao
Tag people you’d like to get to know better: i could just ask these questions from everyone i talk on discord with. fuck my friends i know irl or otherwise, only asking people who r my friends through tumblr. no need to do this though. also this isnt probably meant to be answered so long-windedly... thats just me. i cant answer with one word i gotta write an essay. heres three tags though @basslinegrave​ @vita-divata​
(record scratch before 3rd tag) and @rubbertplant​ bc they were streaming a game in discord when i started typing this and i was like hey wanna do it and they were like yeah
i expect replies on my desk by 5pm TOMORROW!!!!get to work!!!! no i jest, do it or dont, i dont mind either way, just if you feel like doing this. if you see this and want to do it feel free to consider yourself tagged. godspeed
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neonwizardheehee · 1 year
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Wohiooo thank you for that tag @maschinen-mensch dw about not doing any tag thingys or so these aren't mandatory <3<3
what book are you currently reading? Around the world in 80 days! (also for christmas a friend gave away their asoiaf books and I'm so hyped to read them!!! they will be the first time i'll be reading long irl books in English :o very excited to see how it is hehehe)
what’s your favorite movie you saw in theaters this year? also going for 2022 here and it was for sure The Batman (but also special shoutout to Black Panther 2 bc it gave me Namor and finally some positive Marvel things again)
what do you usually wear? colours!!! oversized stuff!! (NYE I saw a Boy George in a 80s chart show and was like "he just looks like me fr" so now I'm braiding colours even into my hair hehehe
how tall are you? @ prev ohhhhhh you're taller than me!! not by much but still!! #short ppl gang
what’s your Star Sign? do you share a birthday with a celebrity or a historical event? Taurus eyyyy and I actually do bc I've got Robert Pattinson and Karl Marx :333 
do you go by your name or nickname? my name is too long to be used in a setting where i don't automatically freeze upon hearing it XD Getting names like "Neon" or "Wiz" for me here really warmed my heart <3<3 (and yes I might have screamed a bit too much but hey let me sound cool hehehe)
did you grow up to become what you wanted to be when you were a child? I always wanted to be an elf, but being a wizard suits me so much more!!! :D
are you in a relationship? if not who is your crush if you have one? didn't I got hurt enough when I cried today while listening to "I just wanna be loved" by Culture Club? XD
what’s something you’re good at vs something you’re bad at? good: planning, bad: working last minute
dogs or cats? neither but at least I don't jump onto tables anymore when I see a cat walking by
If you draw/write, or create in any way, what’s your favorite picture/favorite line/favorite etc. from something you created this year? oof I don't do art myself but I love looking at it <3
what’s something you would like to create content for? The Elven saga XDDD (it's a fantasy book series that I really love!)
what’s something you’re currently obsessed with? Boy George :3
What’s something you were excited about that turned out to be disappointing this year? (2022) an exhibition on trans history where it turned out I've already seen this exhibition a few years ago in a different city XDD
what’s a hidden talent of yours? During christmas my sis and I found out I'm really good at identifying the voices in Mario Kart w/o owning a Mario Kart game or playing often B)
are you religious? yes, I'm a protestant and since I've grown up in an atheist area i'm always happy and surprised when there are areas where you don't get funny looks bc you're religious (and also it baffles me even more when there are areas where it's the other way around bc you shouldn't force religion onto ppl!!) - and also I love talking about it bc it's always so fascinating to me :D
whats something you wish to have at this moment? for my thesis to either be finished or have more time to finish it bc I lost so much time for reasons beyond my control and now I'm crying T.T
(kyaa why did it have to end on such a sad note ksksk hopefully I have enough coke intus to not fall asleep on my thesis B) )
Tagging some ppl but it's not obligatory ofc <3 @shittyness @the3rddenialist @darksidelightside @sarahbordelonsblog @isadora-greenhall (not sure if anyone else likes doing these but if you do like them too pls tag me for i want to see yours too uwu)
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fandom-monium · 3 years
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i finished for the holidays and i just *chefs kiss* beautiful talented amazing sajkgdkj no words i love that romance wasnt even the main point 🥺💘 anyway i love how you write reader and i wondered between her and spencer who gets jealous???
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Unrivaled
Summary: In which you seem pretty close with the new intern, and Spencer is not happy about it. (ft. one of my fave white bois) “Have I ever told you how much I value your friendship?"
WC: 3.6k
Tags/Warnings: Spencer Reid x GN!Reader, fluff, cussing, Jealous!Spencer bc id like to see that, established relationships (blegh), Garvez if you squint, the lightest implication of smut ever, points to yall who can guess who the intern is before reading the end or the tags 😉
Spencer is not jealous. He’s not.
Why would he be? 
He has no reason to be jealous, Spencer chants to himself as he sits at his desk. Even from across the bullpen he still manages to hear your voice, and while normally it’s music to his ears, even better than Mozart, now it just feels like nails against a chalkboard. Grating his eardrums, making him wince.
Because you’re laughing. Not with Spencer though. Not at his obscure references or lame jokes.
With the new intern.
Why did Emily have to put you in charge of him? She could’ve chosen anyone on the team to have him shadow, but it had to be you! Not that you’re incapable or unqualified; you’re experienced, talented, and the best person he knows. 
… Okay, he can see why she picked you.
Why do they even have interns? Unnecessary, really, when the BAU has you and him and he guesses the other teams too (it’s weird, he’s never actually interacted with them but whatever). Maybe it’s time to start making budget cuts. He’ll discuss this with Emily when he gets the chance. He’s got some influence, working at the BAU as long as he has.
But he’s not jealous. 
Logically, jealousy (like an intern) is unnecessary. The green-eyed monster (like an intern) is ugly and contributes nothing productive, and if Spencer’s being honest, the world (like an intern) would be much better off without it.
At least that’s what he keeps telling himself as he downs his coffee like a shot of whiskey, trying to quell the squirming beast in him. Despite 90% of it being sugar, it still tastes bitter. He sets his mug down with a thud, and it’s loud enough to make Luke, Garcia, and JJ turn their heads, exchanging concerned glances when he slumps back in his chair.
Spencer doesn’t care. The world’s ending; you’re apparently into younger guys, with neat dark hair and forearms that can probably snap someone’s neck, and he can’t do anything about it. What does it matter if his best friends catch him in a sour mood, right?
“Hey, Spence,” JJ's tone is soft as they slink over, Garcia and Luke leaning against the edge of his desk and JJ flanking the other side. “You alright?”
“Yeah, why wouldn’t I be?” Spencer gazes past them, his eyes never leaving you. He deflates; your stance is relaxed, completely open as you nod at whatever Intern is saying, his hands gesturing spastically. It must be interesting, the way you listen with rapt attention and respond just as enthusiastic.
Spencer scoffs. Not like that’s anything special. You do the same for him. And the rest of the team.
...What the hell are you guys talking about? 
“Well, you look like you’re about to throw your mug across the room. Or at an intern.”
Spencer blinks, finally breaking away from you long enough to eye the ceramic octopus. “That’s a good idea actually.”
“Don’t,” Garcia and JJ both shoot him a warning and he huffs, resting his chin in his hand. Garcia looks horrified, betrayed even while JJ has that expression on, the one she gives when she scolds Henry and Michael.
Whatever. It’s not like he’d ever sacrifice Mildred. Garcia entrusted her to him, after all. 
Unless...?
No, he couldn’t… Maybe.
“You know, Reid, if you’re jealous—”
Spencer snaps his head to Garcia, eyes wide and darting to you like you have super-hearing, “Jealous? Who’s jealous? Not me.” He cringes, his voice octaves higher and cracking like a prepubescent boy.
Garcia snorts, “Okay, sure. But if you are jealous, I was going to say you have no reason to be. You wanna know why?” Spencer raises an eyebrow at her and she continues, “Sure the guy’s smart enough to get a full-ride scholarship at GWU, and he’s top of his class at the academy—”
“Is this supposed to make me feel better?”
"And he’s one of the most good looking guys I've ever met—”
"How is that relevant—"
Luke frowns at her. "And have you met me?"
“My point is,” Garcia’s red lipstick curls into the most reassuring smile, “that you have nothing to worry about because (Your Name) loves you. A lot.” 
Spencer perks up. “You really think so?”
“I know so. I see the way they look at you, and if that’s not love I don’t know what is," She shrugs, "And just because they’re talking doesn’t mean they’re into him.”
There's a collective nod of agreement and Spencer sags in relief. Of course they're right. He knows they are. 
If you think about it, technically, he's got the advantage. You've known each other longer, bonded and shared experiences together good and bad, and you’re emotionally and even physically intimate with each other (something he's especially proud of, considering how long it takes you both to warm up to others).
And who knows? This is probably temporary! Whatever this is, the connection you seem to instantly make with Intern (faster than when you two had met, he realizes with a needle to his heart) is short-term at best. It'll peter out eventually, like most friendships do.
It’s sad, but a cruel fact of life.
(Is this selfish, wishful thinking? Nah.)
They’re right, there is no need to worry, Spencer thinks as a weight lifts off his chest, finally able to breathe. You love him and he loves you and eventually, everything will go back to normal. 
There’s nothing to worry about.
The world’s ending.
“It’s really not.”
Yes, it is.
“Doc, come on.”
“Do not ‘Doc’ me,” Spencer grumbles, lifting his head from the comfort of his arms. He grimaces at Luke. “You didn’t see the way they looked at him. The way they talk about him.”
Two weeks. It’s been two weeks since you’ve taken Intern under your wing, and he’s had enough. If Hell is real, this is it. For days, he’s tried to resume some form of normalcy, and he was never one to be bold but desperate times call for desperate measures as he asks you out for lunch or invites you out on dates, even stuff he wouldn’t normally do because they’re more your thing. Something, anything to get you away from Intern. But...
At work: “Hey Spence, I'm teaching Intern (menial task that a 4 year old could do). Would you like to help—”
During break: “I’m taking Intern out for lunch. He’s still new to town, and I thought he could use a tour—”
In bed: “Did you know Intern’s a huge fan of Star Wars—”
Snap, and there went his patience.
Intern this, Intern that. 
Spencer could tolerate this at work. At least he’s saving lives, being productive, getting paid. But under his roof? In his bed? 
That was the last straw.
Spencer's not one to wish ill on another, he's not like that. But if something happened to the guy, say, get injured in the field, perhaps from a "stray" bullet, he'd be intern-ally grateful. Heh. 
"Hey, you good?"
Spencer sighs, swiping a hand over his face and turning back to Luke. "Yeah, why?"
Luke waves a hand at his face, eyebrow raised, "For a second there, you kind of had a scary look on your face."
"Did I? Weird."
"Right," Clearly unconvinced, Luke brushes it off, deciding to get to the root of the matter. "As I was saying, I still think you have nothing to worry about. Although, I do think it's a little weird that (Your Name) is talking about Intern as much as you say they are." He offers Spencer a little smile, his hand falling heavy on his shoulder. It's the most comforting touch he's had in two weeks. "I'm not one to talk, but I suggest you speak to them. I'd also be uncomfortable if my partner were talking up someone else."
Spencer blinks, squints at Luke, before gripping his hand and standing up. "Have I ever told you how much I value your friendship?"
"You can stand to mention it more often," Luke shrugs, eyes crinkling with amusement as Spencer lets go and heads for the door. 
"Noted."
Spencer nearly goes feral when he finds you.
Of course you're with him.
He searched the floor like a bloodhound, discovering you've been on your feet almost the entire day, running around the office, up and down the elevators, finishing your work and helping around. You must be exhausted. It's because of this he tracks you to your favorite break room, mostly quiet save for the buzzing drip of the old coffeemaker. He knows you need to be alone sometimes, recharge those social batteries.
So when he bursts into the room like he would hunting an unsub, eyes quickly scanning the immediate space, he expects nothing less but you. What he did not anticipate was to find you, just as soft and pretty as ever under the fluorescent lighting, leaning against the counter and sipping daintily at your favorite mug. 
With Intern standing a little too close to his liking.
“Hey, Spencer,” You chirp as you lower your coffee mug, lips glossy from your drink. Spencer's quick to shake his stupor―he can’t afford to be distracted, but it’s difficult when you’re beaming at him, clearly excited. You nod at the home-wrecker, “Me and Intern here were just talking about demonology and he’s got this interesting theory on werewolves―" Lycanthropy? Are you fucking kidding him right now? 
Just when he thought he couldn't hate the guy any more.
"CanItalktoyou?" It comes out rushed as Spencer gasps between breaths, leaving no room to second guess himself.
"Sure," You blink at his urgent tone.
For a second, you watch him expectantly, and Spencer's gaze darts between you and Intern. "Alone?"
"Oh! Okay. Be gone," You wave Intern off, and when you place a hand on his shoulder, Spencer sees red. Or green in this case.
Intern doesn't resist, but the noise Spencer releases is animalistic because the guy can’t seem to read the room, questioning you as you gently shove him towards the door. "What about the thing―"
"We'll talk about that later."
"But you still need to show me how to―"
"Don't worry, Intern. Just wait for me, I'll show you once the adults are done talking."
"You know at some point you're gonna have to call me by my name." 
"Nah. If we get to call Luke a newbie, we get to call you Intern. Also I do not know how to say your first name."
 "You could just call me St―"
Enough of this. Spencer closes the last stretch of distance, batting your hand away from Intern’s shoulders as he kicks him out himself, slamming the door in his face. Spencer turns on his heel to face you, caging you both. “You―” He pants, chest heaving for air.
“Me?”
“You-him-we―”
You’re unfazed, simply nodding at him and his odd behavior. If anything, you’re enjoying this as your lips twitch in a poor attempt to withhold your amusement, trying to cover it with a slurp of your cup. Then again, it’s not everyday you get to see Spencer, face flushed from exertion, speechless as he gasps for breath.
(At least not at work… In the break room specifically.)
It takes a minute as Spencer swallows a few times, but his heart’s erratic and it’s not just from running through the entire building. When he’s got enough air, he blurts out, “Did I do something?”
Your brow shoots up. “What?”
“Did I forget something important? Upset you in some way?”
“No? I don’t think so?” You frown at him, your answers more like questions. 
It only spurs him on, and though his tone is frantic and his eyes just as wild as his hair, you’re more intrigued than frightened. Definitely confused.
“Okay, but you know I love you, right?”
“Yes and I love you too but Spence, what’s this about?" Setting down your mug, you look at him like he's grown another head.
Spencer sighs, "I just… you…" He frowns, glancing between you, the floor, and the empty space between you. 
Spencer Reid is a man of words. Many, many words, according to all his friends and his coworkers. Mainly knowledge―he's never been great with feelings―but as you gaze at him, patiently waiting for him to gather his thoughts, he wants to melt into the floor. There's not a hint of annoyance on your features, your eyes warm and inviting. 
He's so in love with you.
Then like scripture the words come, natural without much stuttering or hesitancy. He recounts the last two weeks. The internship so far, the times you've left Spencer behind for him, the times you just talked about him, like the guy (practically a stranger) is your new best friend. Usually, pretty people make him tongue-tied and you do―god, you do―but at the same time only you make it so easy. Talking, expressing without fear of―
"Pfft―"
―Judgement. Pausing mid-sentence, Spencer gawks as your nose twitches and your blink rate increases. You purse your lips, a hand slapped over your mouth as it threatens to break out into a grin.
"Are you-are you laughing right now?" When he just poured his feelings out to you? 
That does it. You keel over, peels of laughter coming like a tsunami, crashing into him and Spencer loves your laugh but not when it's at him. 
"I'm sorry! I'm sorry, I shouldn't be laughing," you wheeze, gripping your stomach. Spencer pouts. There's even tears in your eyes. "But you're telling me this is all because you're jealous?"
He stutters, "Well-I-no-It’s just…" He wants to say ‘you're mine’, but as your eyes crinkle he knows there’s no need.
"That's kinda hot."
"Wha-really?" Wide-eyed, Spencer squeaks as you step closer to him, backing him into the door. His hands come up to his chest in a kitten-like manner yet at the same time protective―you'd never hurt him and you both know that―but you admit your initial reaction was poor when he laid his feelings bare. 
“Ahhhh Babe, you know there’s no one else for me but you.” Spencer blushes and you chuckle, taking his hands in yours. He let's you. “Also, as adorable as Intern is, one, I think I’d be able to tell if he was hitting on me, and two, he’s not really my type.”
Spencer swallows, “And what exactly is your type?”
“Hmm, let’s see,” Looking him up and down, you step closer, enough that your breath puffs against his chin. You smell like cheap coffee. “Tall, handsome doctors with messy, brown hair―” You lightly tug at one of his stray curls and he bites back a smile. 
“―and a cute nose―” Your hand moves to cup his cheek, bringing him down to peck the tip of his nose. It scrunches as Spencer breaks out into giggles. 
“―Who can recite classic literature. Who can bake like he belongs on The Great British Baking Show but can’t cook for shi―”
“Okay! Thank you, I get it,” Spencer says, almost completely relaxed now.
“Good,” You nod with finality. “And for your information, I wasn’t trying to make you jealous."
He raises an eyebrow. "So you just abandoned me and talked about another guy for the hell of it?"
Spencer's tone is casual, joking even but you know better. There's underlying bitterness and hurt and your heart squeezes because you did that. "No, of course not. There is a reason behind all that.“
“What could possibly excuse you going above and beyond your job as a mentor―”
“I was trying to set you guys up.”
Spencer deadpans. “Set me up? With him?” Oh god, he knows you’re weird, but he’s never considered you to be outright insane (is it weird he still loves you?).
As if reading his thoughts, you roll your eyes, “Spencer, how many friends do you have outside the team?”
“Not a lot.” No hesitation, but he accepted the fact a long time ago. 
“Yeah and that’s okay. But if you’d talk to Intern, you’ll find you two have a lot in common. I know he’s younger than us, but he’s a good kid, real smart,” You give him a meaningful look and shrug, “Not like IQ 187 smart but he could definitely hold a conversation with you.”
Spencer murmurs, pulling you in so you're chest to chest, “This entire time, you were really trying to make us friends?”
You nod, your expression a mix of giddiness and hope that makes whatever feelings he felt before, the confusion and―yes, fine―the jealousy, dissolve like sugar in water. Spencer sinks into you, burying his face into the crook of your neck and inhaling your soap. Of course you had good intentions. Of course you wanted to do something nice for him.
Fuck, he loves you.
“So… we good?”
Spencer huffs, “I hope you realize how much I suffered the past few weeks.”
“I know, I’m sorry.”
“Then yes, we’re good,” He mumbles into your shoulder, “I appreciate what you were trying to do.”
“And?”
His brow furrows and he pulls back, meeting your eyes. “And what?”
“Will you try to be friends?” You look at him expectantly.
Spencer opens his mouth to answer, a definitive no on his tongue, but then you’re giving him puppy-dog eyes and before he realizes it, “Okay.”
Wait, no. That is not what he meant to say.
“Yeah!” You throw your arms around him, and Spencer can’t stop you, grunting as you basically swing him around like a rag doll. But he finds he doesn’t care when you set him back down because you’re happy, happy for him, grinning ear to ear as you babble, “I can already tell you two are gonna be the best of friends! You guys have so much to talk about, all that nerdy stuff. Maybe even debate! And we could play chess and―”
There’s a knock and you both turn, a voice muffled by the door, “Hey, guys? I don’t want to interrupt in case you’re boning, but you didn’t exactly tell me where to wait for you? God, I hope you guys aren’t boning. Please tell me you’re not boning right now.”
You groan, “No Intern, we’re not boning! Right-uh-go ahead and meet me back at the office, I’ll be right with you.” You turn back to Spencer, sending him an apologetic look. “I will see you later, okay? And since you’ve been such a patient and understanding partner,” You plant him one last kiss before patting his cheek, and his eyes widen as your voice lowers in the way you know drives him crazy, your eyes glinting with mischief, “I’ll make it up to once we get home. Bye, love you!”
Before Spencer can fully register your words, you're out the door, cackling as you leave him to compose himself, his face beet red from running the possibilities. By the time he emerges from the break room, you’re long gone.
“Hi, Dr. Reid?”
Spencer almost snarls, cursing under his breath. Just when he thought the day was getting better. He turns back. 
Intern stands tall, relaxed and shoulders back, black tie loose and cheap white-collar button up slightly wrinkled. No doubt from working hard and following your instructions throughout the day. Spencer respects the work ethic at least. Meanwhile, the younger man eyes him, and he’s certain it’s not from intimidation but with curiosity.
Spencer doesn’t linger on that. He’s used to it, not being intimidating to others.
He continues, “It’s nice to finally talk to you, one on one I mean. I’m a fan of your work. Seven degrees, huh?”
“Yeah,” Spencer says curtly. Recalling the earlier conversation with you, he stamps down his irritation and tries to extend an olive branch. “How did you know?”
“It’s the internet, sir,” Intern raises an eyebrow, offering an innocent smile. 
“Right,” Spencer returns it with an awkward one of his own, “Hey, sorry for... literally kicking you out before. That was completely unprofessional.”
Intern waves him off, “No, it’s cool. I totally get it. I’m flattered, by the way.”
Spencer frowns. “Flattered?”
“Well, it’s not everyday you find out your superior’s jealous of you.”
Spencer blinks, and it takes all his experience as a profiler to mask his embarrassment. “You heard that.”
“The FBI’s got thin walls,” Intern shrugs and steps towards him. “Although I have to say, Agent (Your Last Name) is wrong about one thing.” Stopping short in front of him, for the first time Spencer is close enough to note the moles dotting his face. “They can’t tell that I’m flirting with them.” 
He starts down the hall after you, and Spencer’s eyes trail after him as his brow furrows, until realization slams into him and his jaw drops. “Wait, you...”
“Oh and since (Your Last Name) wants us to be friends, I think we could be on a first-name basis,” He pauses to look back at Spencer, watching with a crooked smile as the older man sputters. 
“So, you can call me Stiles, sir.”
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Then once again, Spencer is left behind, frozen in the hallway as he processes what just happened.
And the next time he finds you and Special Agent Stilinski in the same room, whether it’s crowded or not, Spencer does not hesitate to cling to your side, putting as much distance between the intern and you as he can. Spencer’s grateful you don’t question it.
There may not be anyone else for you, but that doesn’t mean no one will try.
AN: ahhhhh thanks anon!! There was a similar request then i saw this tiktok (and listened to this tiktok the entire time) and i combined them. Id also like to emphasize that my version of reader is neutral across the board, race, gender, etc.
Yes, i have a type. No, i will not be taking criticism. 
Been hella overwhelmed with classes and work so here’s my way of destressing. Also suggest checking those tiktoks if you wanna understand me :))) also you mean to tell me i have to write the threesome myself?? Bs tbh 😔
watched 15x4 and i was so sad when Spencer addressed Luke as his coworker like no bitch hes your new bro stfu
and i have no doubt that stiles and spencer would be one of the best crossover duos given the chance 
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starglow-xx · 3 years
Text
owning a bakery and being discovered by the ada and the port mafia (part 3)
platonic! yosano akiko x f! reader
type of writing: head canons !!
this is part of my head canon series, flour & fluff !!
tag list is open !! go to this google form and fill it out to sign up!
series synopsis: owning a bakery at 20 is tough; even more so when you have to handle members of two opposing organizations! this is your journey to meeting those fools and creating an unlikely bond with each of them. but only at the cost of your peace and sanity.
fandom: bungou stray dogs
content: fluff & platonic stuff but trigger warning!! there may be a sensitive topic for others
*getting grabbed and pulled to an alleyway! alcohol mentioned!*
please remember that yokohama isn’t the friendliest place, especially at night.
previous: part 2 : their beloved president
author’s note: same ages as last time!! (so that means everyone is one year younger than canon; that makes yosano 24)
this one is actually pretty long :0
i got info abt her likes on her wiki page (careful! there’s spoilers!)
and yosano is a queen and no one can tell me otherwise
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the doctor is in the house (quite literally)
going grocery shopping was an okay chore in your opinion
it honestly depended on your mood or whatever kind of shit happens when you go shopping
cause like something always, always happens whenever you go do groceries
sometimes it’s good, sometimes it’s bad, and sometimes it’s just plain weird
one time some weirdo proposed to you in the middle of the store asking for a double suicide
he was good looking you’d admit but it’s not like you’d ever see him again
or so you thought
a n y w a y s
every so often, you’d run out of real person food in your apartment
you mostly survive off all of the leftover bakery treats and ingredients—which works out pretty well actually—but bakery supplies unfortunately also run out quite often
and also unfortunately, one time when both fukuzawa & ranpo took a visit to Sakura’s, fukuzawa argued that “no you can’t live off sweets for the rest of your life”
ranpo was scandalized and scrambled to cover your ears
you guys were at it for a while
in the end you sided with fukuzawa causing ranpo to go off about “betrayal from the people he cared most abt” or smth like that
you guys were okay again after bribing him with sweets :)
for bakery supplies you usually have them delivered bc you order them in large quantities bc ahaha no way were you gonna carry like 15-20 50 pound bags of flour no way
when days like those happen, you close up the bakery early so you aren’t walking home when it’s too dark
you scheduled it to happen every first saturday of the month
on those saturdays, you close at 5 instead of at 8
currently, you were at the grocery store looking for basic cooking ingredients such as proteins, vegetables, fruits, and most importantly, snacks
ranpo’s been rubbing off on you
the sun was starting to set and you were walking home with your two bags of groceries when shit went down
tbh you were kinda expecting it cause your grocery run was peaceful for once
but what you weren’t expecting was a wack-a-do to appear out of goddamn nowhere right when you were opening the side door to get to the staircase up to your apartment
like honestly
let a woman do her own thing
the man who grabbed you tried to covered your mouth so you couldn’t scream but you didn’t exactly make it easy for him
you kicked and thrashed around even using the grocery bags—that were somehow still in your hand—as a weapon and the man struggled but he was still bigger than you and was able to bring you to a nearby alley
he reeked of alcohol and you spotted a wedding band on his left hand
not that you cared about the detail in the moment
you kicked him in the groin and in response he let you go only to fall on broken glass that was in the alley way
using the wall to help yourself up, you grabbed a nearby wooden stick and struck him right on his back
your attacker fell and you immediately turned on your heels to escape only to fall back down on the hard cold ground once again
you lift your face up and look back to see the man holding onto your ankle
grabbing a shard of glass—cutting yourself in the process— you begin to swing it at him only for him to easily grip your wrist and stop you
you get ready try and kick him in the groin again but you’re interrupted as your attacker gets sucker punched and flies to wall
you look up to see your savior and you’re blessed to see a beautiful woman, probably not that much older than you are—she’s probably around ranpo’s age— donning a white long sleeve button up, a matching black necktie, knee length skirt, and gloves, along with tights, red heels, and a pretty butterfly clip in her short black hair
but what you really notice is her eyes
ranpo’s eyes were pretty but you like hers just a bit more
you’ve always liked the color magenta
the pretty lady holds out her hand and you take it graciously and thank her as she helps you up
as that’s happening, your attacker gets himself onto his feet and his groan catches both of your attention
he struggles to stand and the pretty lady simples saunters over to him and delivers an uppercut knocking him out cold
you’re stunned and you breathe out a “thank you” making her turn towards you
she notices the condition you’re in
bleeding scrapes on your hands, arms and legs, small rips in your clothes like your tights, blouse, and skirt, and the ruffled state of your hair and clothing
she asks if you live nearby and you tell her that you own the bakery that’s one or two buildings away
when you tell her that, it clicks in her mind that you must be the bakery girl ranpo’s been talking about and the friend fukuzawa was cat sitting for
it’s been abt two weeks since ranpo and fukuzawa first met you and since then, they’ve seen lucky in the office plenty and the boxes of your signature sweets even more
if those two trust you, she has no reason not to
she smiles at you, holds out her hand for you to shake, and introduces herself as the doctor of the armed detective agency
your eyes widen and you smile back at her shaking her hand
“ah! you must be yosano-sensei then! ranpo-san and fukuzawa-san have talked about you! it’s so nice to meet you! im (l/n) (y/n)!”
“they’ve talked about you too, it’s a pleasure to finally meet you (y/n)”
after that exchange she insisted on bringing you home to treat you wounds which you told her it wasn’t necessary
she gave you a pointed look and that was when you realized what state you were in
you sighed and weakly gave in to which she only grinned at
before leaving the alley she walks over to the unconscious man and pulls out his wallet for some sort of identification and home address as you try to see if there’s any groceries still salvageable
after texting the details to kunikida, yosano turns to you poking around the now ruined grocery bags
she simply rubs your back and tells you that the both of you could go buy more groceries together as she was meaning to get some anyways; she even said she’ll pay for you
you refused obviously but she, unknowingly, used the same tactic fukuzawa used with you
“so you’re saying you don’t need groceries?”
“...”
*cue an eyebrow raise from our resident queen*
“...you agency members don’t like making things easy for me huh.”
you gave in reluctantly and at this point you don’t even know why you try negotiating with them
and that’s only three of them
apparently, she was on the other side of the street on the way to buy groceries for the agency when she noticed different produce items on the other sidewalk leading to the alley and she went to check out what happened
ironically, the way to the grocery store from the agency makes you go past Sakura’s but she didn’t realize it until after the two of you had met
before you know it, the two of you are in your apartment kitchen as she cleans and patches up all of your wounds
as she does so the two of you have a little girl talk
you find it quite comforting bc since you opened up Sakura’s you haven’t really had the chance to connect to many people much less other women
you definitely see yosano as your cool, loving, badass older sister
she thinks you’re adorable and agrees with ranpo’s opinion
yup 
that’s right
the opinion that you’re like a little kid </3
you called it a betrayal and all she did was laugh at you <//3
“awhh that’s really cool yosano-sensei!—MFPH?!?”
*squishing your cheeks the same way ranpo did* “ranpo-san was right (n/n)-chan, your cheeks are squishy!”
“?!”
after that small fiasco, the two of you talked some more and bonded over your love for flowers, japanese sweets, and much more!!
you even made a date to have a girls day to go shopping and eat out!
you’re internally squealing a bit bc it’s been a while since you’ve gone shopping
yosano notices and she giggles behind her hand not saying anything bc she knows you’ll only throw a fit
the two of you came around the topic of ranpo when lucky passed by
lucky quickly warmed up to the doctor and cozied up in her lap
“i wish ranpo-san was able to meet lucky when he came by the first time, but then again, he’d probably throw a tantrum if i don’t pay attention to him for 5 seconds”
she snorted at that and like fukuzawa, she shared stories abt the slightly older male
“ranpo-san doesn’t know how to ride a train?”
“unbelievable right?”
“for someone so intelligent i expected more from him”
“i’ll be telling that to ranpo-san, (n/n)-chan”
“wha—?! yosano-sensei please don’t!”
like ranpo, she’s also a tease </3
but you love her anyway <3
eventually, she finished patching you up and promised to treat you to a new set of clothes when the two of you go out
“you don’t need to lose a good set of clothes just because of a sleazy man (n/n)-chan! you deserve better!”
you were going to argue that the rips in your clothes were fairly small and could easily be fixed—except the tights—but you stopped in your tracks when you remembered that it was practically useless to argue against an ada member
the two of you walked to the grocery store and bought both of your needed supplies—along with some extra goodies—and then she walked you back to your place bc it was already a bit dark out
but even if it wasn’t, she would walk you anyways
besides, if anything happened to you, she’s 1000% positive that ranpo and fukuzawa are gonna flip the fuck out not that she wont cause she most definitely will
speaking of which
you were drinking a bottle of water as the two of made your way back to Sakura’s when all of a sudden
“(y/n) you do realize that i have to tell shachou and ranpo-san about what happened today right?”
you choked on your water
“yosano-sensei you can’t! if you do they’ll freak! they won’t leave me alone for at least two weeks! one if im lucky!”
“exactly the point”
you just accepted your defeat already knowing that you’d lose
but maybe you can simmer down their anger towards the bastard with sweets and lucky
you arrived at Sakura’s shortly after and after bringing groceries in, you packaged a bunch of pastries leftover from today—bc you closed early—and bc you’re well aware that ranpo doesn’t share any of the sweets you send him with
you even gave yosano her own special box filled with goodies she loves, and a thermos of fukuzawa’s favorite, your special hot honey lemon tea
other than the sweets, you prepared lucky to spend the night at fukuzawa’s
you really really hoped that doing these things would make them calm down
you shivered at the thought of what their responses would be
you felt really bad for giving yosano all these things to carry and that you were keeping her very late
she assured you that she was fine and that if someone tried to mess with her she’d kick their ass
and after exchanging numbers, the magenta eyed queen bid you a good night and walked back to the agency with lucky walking by her heels
arriving back at the agency, yosano was greeted with some concerns asking if she was alright bc she came back from her grocery run pretty late
(she usually goes in the mornings but today was pretty busy so she left in the late afternoon but now it was already dark)
she waved off the concerns and plopped a couple boxes of your signature bakery boxes at ranpo’s desk, the one for her at her own, the last few boxes in the kitchen for any other agent or clerk to grab, placed the thermos on the desk fukuzawa was by, and picked up lucky and handed him to the president
the two males were pleased with what yosano had brought them, and pleased that another agency member had the chance to meet you
fukuzawa was rubbing lucky and ranpo already snacking on treats as yosano expected
but here comes the hard part
or maybe it’s gonna amusing who knows
“i met (y/n) today.”
“we could tell.”
in goes another treat in the green eyed man’s mouth
“would you like to know how?”
“you bumped into each other, had girl talk, made plans to go out, went grocery shopping, and you brought me and shachou presents.”
“great job ranpo-san, you’re almost completely correct.”
this caught the attention of basically everyone bc they knew ranpo was never “almost completely correct”
“we ended up meeting bc she got attacked on her way home from grocery shopping, i treated her wounds, then we had girl talk and did all the other stuff”
ranpo and fukuzawa froze right in their tracks
“i sent all the info of the bastard to kunikida”
“kunikida.”
“yes shachou”
“find out everything about that man and bring it to me and ranpo”
“...yes shachou”
“and yosano”
“yes?”
“text (y/n) and tell her that her cat, tea, and pastries aren’t going to work as a bribe”
just as you finished taking a shower you sneezed
<<previous // next >>
to join the tag list, please fill out this google form i made!! please fill it out even if you are already in the tag list! it’ll make things easier for me to keep track of you :)
taglist: @hanniejji​ @timeless-tales46​ @realitycanbeajerk (i didn’t know if you wanted to be in the tag list or not but i tried anyway :)
italicized means it wouldn’t let me tag you 
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daydadahlias · 2 years
Note
4, 9, 11, 20, 33!! 💜
Hi Amanda!! Thank you ^.^ from fic asks <3
4. Link your three favorite fics right now.
Right this single second my three favorite fics would have to be Stay by Anna (because it's just so intimate and calming, I just fucking love it), if we make it through December by Hazel ( @allsassnoclass ) (which made me cRY so hard), and i don't mind you under my skin by Molly (which is always one of my faves and tbh may be the fic I reread the most often.)
9. Tag 3 fic writers you think are underrated/unknown in the fandom/fanfiction community.
I think that you, Amanda ( @lifewasradical ) are underrated for a lot of reasons. You challenge yourself a lot with pieces (ie. the word count goal for mv & no dialogue for that New Years fic). I think that you should be given a lot more credit for that kind of stuff (bc it takes discipline and effort to do that) and also because you're constantly growing as a writer!! Your fics are always evolving, I think, and you are too. || I also just really want more people to gush about the fic you wrote for me during the last round of fic exchange bc it's seriously one of my favorites ever and I want it to be praised & I want a moodboard for it dammit ||
I also think that Monse ( @lukemichaelcalumashton ) should get more recognition!! I'm surprised Monse isn't getting daily asks saying stuff like "you're my favorite writer." Have y'all read 20/20?? Oh my god??? Also, here's a cool fact!! Back when I was casually reading 5sos fic and wasn't super involved on tumblr, I actually read a lot of Monse's fics and loved them without even realizing Monse wrote them!! And then, after I'd been friends with her for like 5 minutes, I went onto her ao3 page to check her out and my jaw literally dropped bc I went "holy shit I've read these before." So yeah!! I think Monse needs more hype. So go give it to her. Now. That's an order. 😡
And, finally, I think that Emma ( @the-girl-who-cried-wolf ) needs more hype for her writing! She writes the cutest little fics and they feel so much like a warm hug and taste like a sweet treat. They're always so calming for me. And also I just think Emma is a fucking precious gem of a person and I really want as much Emma appreciation/love on my dash as I can get.
11. How do you come up with your fic titles?
Depends on the fic! They have to be one to two words for sure, preferably two. And if you want my secret rn... I made a list of twenty different titles for my fic Portable Player and now I just pick one of those twenty to slap onto a new fic lol. I'm an innovator. Usually, it's the word of the fic that's used the most. Or the theme that's the most common. I don't know, it really does depend on which fic.
20. What’s your favorite part about the fanfiction writing process?
I mean tbh it's putting that baby into ao3 and picking tags. I love the tagging system on ao3 and I thank God and Molly every day for the ability to put "gratuitous descriptions of Luke Hemmings" on a fic. It's a blessing.
33. What do you like writing better: one-shots or multi-chapter stuff?
Okay!! I was literally just thinking today while I was writing that I love multi-chap stuff so much more. Like, don't get me wrong I love writing one-shots and I do write a lot of then because they're fun and pretty easy for me! BUT there's just something about multi-chapter fics... I get to really fall in love with characters and become invested in them. I have time to make them DEVELOP and have CHARACTER ARCS and REALIZATIONS ABOUT THEMSELVES!!! Oh my godddd. It's enough time to make enemies turn to lovers. For a character to realize they're capable of being loved. For a character to understand and heal from something. You can't commonly have those sorts of long, unwinding emotions in a one-shot. Also it's just more fic to love <3 More time for slow-burn and build.
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danhoemei · 3 years
Text
Thank you for tagging me @pretty-dianxia, even twice ;D (@fismoll7secinv is my main). Much love 💚
Rules: Tag nine people you want to get to know better.
Favourite colour: green 💚 tho prolly my fav combination is blue + warm sunset-like gold 💙💛 Really, I love so many colors it always feels inadequate to choose just one or two T^T I want to wrap them around my shoulders and take a bite
Currently reading: qi ye, finally ✨ Tho I’m a bit on hiatus since I went into mourning some time ago and a lot of things piled up, same with watching cql. I hope to come back to these two soon because daym was I enjoying it
Last song: hah, kinda embarrassing to admit but my own old improvisation A demon inside. I listen to it sometimes on loop as a background noise to get into a calm mood for writing, somehow inspiration often strikes for me with that
Last movie: the conjuring 3, it was okay even if quite predictable and typical for horrors. I enjoyed pretty scenes and I adore the main couple, so it was light and fun for me, not very challenging
Sweet, Savoury, or Spicy: spicy 🌶 I can’t handle too much sweetness and savoury is a no <3 (vegetarian 🌿)
Currently working on: fjvhbdkv SO MUCH, I have around 30 ideas in drafts and like 10 wips 😭 Among these are poems, fics, and memes. But the most recent things I touched would be a short drabble for one person who followed me and was instantly attacked with a message if they have requests because I felt like it ;D I am so sorry for taking so long, I will get back to it soon T-T Another thing was some fengqing (or more like qingfeng xd) short make-out session lmao. I’m also taking part in mxtx big bang where am beta-ing a fun fic for a fun person 💚 There is also one artist who I asked if I could share their beautiful art here but never actually got to it and it’s been months?? since then. Plus I have so many artists to catch up on here. Also another semester on my uni started and projects are soon due. And at work we’re reaching a deadline for a huge project where I’m leading a big portion of it so I sometimes stay late at work and end up v tired. 
So yeah, I have a lot of responsibilities and promises while my free time is very short, so all of these private and creative things take up whatever tiny bit of strength and time I have and thus take so painfully long :’) I don't remember the last time when I had much time for myself instead of helping someone out or doing responsibilities or just lying mindlessly because of exhaustion xdd so ye that's one of the reasons why I'm significantly less active and not up to date in the fandom recently. But I’ll manage
Edit: oh yeah also that one nandermo ficlet bc I acquited a new brainrot recently akejbrbdbd
Tagging: @qd-archives @pomodoroidk @orchisailsa @linaflorow @snake-and-mouse @wrrinkl @vitaminbean @ashenlights @apocalyptickoala @uweiy ofc if u feel like it
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pigstepmp3-moved · 3 years
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holy hell, gamers, i finally reached one whole thousand followers! how bonkers is that! when i first made this blog in december 2018, i was just trying to start over in a new fandom. ive been active on tumblr for a looong time (since i was like 11, which is. not great, but we wont get into that). i cant remember quite why i decided to remake, but i never imagined getting a higher following than i did before, but i did! 1000 followers is bonkers, i’ve never had a thousand of anything! i seriously cant thank each and every one of you enough, whether you followed me for 911 or for mcyt or for whatever!
now, since ive reached this absolutely bonkers milestone, im feeling particularly sappy! so under the cut, i have some friends and mutuals tagged who are super great n who are always an absolute pleasure to see on my dash! <3 again, thank you all so much! (ps, if we’re mutuals and i didnt tag u in this, that doesnt mean i dont love and appreciate you!! i mostly am just picking people to tag based off how often i see them on my dash! i love all of u so much <3)
♡ 911 FRIENDS ♡
(aka the ogs, aka the fire fam)
♡ @lovelessmotel ♡ emily!! god, where do i even begin with how much i love and adore you!! i know youre one of my big sisters, but wow i am so proud of how much youve discovered yourself since we’ve met!! like wow, look at this epic, gorgeous person whos one of MY close friends! im so lucky to be friends with you! thank you so much for being my friend, i appreciate you and all the sisterly advice you’ve given me more than i can ever put into words!
♡ @eddiediaz-buckley ♡ sav!! mom!! i love u so unbelievably much!! i am so unbelievably grateful for you and everything youve done for me! all the advice youve given me and all the times youve let me vent to you have been so important to me and i cannot thank you enough for all that. im soso appreciative of you and im so glad that i have someone as amazing as you as my mom/big sister (we’ll never really figure out our fams family dynamics, will we?) (ps, whenever i go outside and have my keys with me, its always so comforting to feel the keychain you got me! its like my moms with me everywhere i go!)
♡ @liesoverthec ♡ bonbonbonbon!!! i love you so much, you wouldnt BELIEVE how much i love you!!! im so glad we met bc you are so unbelievably kind!! there is a very good reason a nickname for u is bonbon bc you are just as sweet as candy!! maybe even more so!! i love having you as one of my big sisters, you give such wonderful advice and talking to you always makes me feel a million times better!! i love you and i am soso glad i get to call you my friend!
♡ @marauder-girl ♡ sabsabsab!! i love u so much, u funky lil future lawyer!! im so proud of u and i can hardly believe ur gonna be my Lawyer big sister!!! thats so awesome!! i cant believe such a rad person is one of MY friends!! how lucky am i!! i love having you as one of my big sisters, youre so kind and funny and talented and your advice has always been so helpful to me too! thank you so much for being my friend and for always being there for me!!
♡ @nighting-gale17 ♡ cait, my love, my wifey!!! wowowow i love u so much!!! im so glad we’re friends, you are so unbelievably lovely!! youre also so unbelievably talented like??? hey queen wanna hand some of ur writing ability over to the unfortunate (like me). i’m so glad we’re friends, youre so sweet and even tho we dont talk as much as we used to, i still have SO much love for you in my heart
♡ @africaneuropean ♡ rae, my father!! i love u so much!! i know we havent talked at all in. who knows how long. but i still have so much love for u in my heart!! you are so iconic and cool and funny, im so glad i met you n became friends with you!! ur one of the coolest people i know, i hope i can be as cool and mysterious and wonderful as you one day
♡ @evaneddie ♡ DHYL!!! dhyl pickle i love u so much!!! whenever u pop into my inbox with random nice messages, every part of me lights up!!! u are so kind to me and for what!! i miss talking to u as much as we used to, you are so sweet and you are such a good friend!! i love u n im SO proud of how far youve come with gif making, i still remember when u first started n youve gotten SO amazing at gifs lately!! i love u soso much n im so glad we’re friends, youre so awesome!!!
♡ @basil-the-writer ♡ des!!! i love u so much!!! i know we’ve never rly talked all that much but im glad we have interacted in the ways that we have!! u are so sweet n so talented!! like the fact that u have the patience for those lil video edits u do?? that is so cool!! all ur edits are so cool, i cannot imagine being able to make stuff like that without dying every single time. u are so cool n i love being able to call u my friend!!
♡ GRIFF ♡
(aka griff)
♡ @yawnralphio ♡ u get ur own section bc u are my only 911 friend who isnt an og, but thats ok bc u are so swaggy!! i love being friends with u griff, u are so cool and funny and i am so glad that u still want to be friends with me despite all of the horrifying things u’ve learned about mcyt from me jdhfajkdhfa. i love u so much n i am so excited to get to know u more n get closer to u!!
♡ FRUITBLR ♡
(aka mcyt friends)
♡ @fear-epidemic ♡ atlas u are so swaggy and funny!! tumblr funny man!! im so glad we’re mutuals, i love u a whole lot. that one time u me n wilby played bed wars together was so fun even if we’re really bad! n that one time we played on the fruitblr server while on vc was so fun, i loved talking to u n playing with u so much, we gotta do that again sometime. i love u so much chapin n im so glad we’re friends!!
♡ @netheritedream ♡ hari my beloved... i love u so much. like literally so much that its really embarassing. i am so glad u tagged me in that one follow forever post n put the offer on the table to let me join the server. i love being ur dumb lil husband!!! jus like actual fundy, i would risk it all to watch treasure planet with u. i love u sososo much, i wish i could live closer to u so i could actually talk to u more often </333 im going through severe withdrawal, pray for me. im gonna stop talking for now bc if i kept going on, this post would be several miles along n nobody has time for that </3 just know that i love u so much and i love having matching icons n i love being ur husband, i love u so much
♡ @sootswilbur ♡ tommy... i care you so much. little bromther!!! im sososo glad we’re friends bc u are so kind to me all the time n u are so easy to talk to!! ur also so talented, ur writing n ur gifs are so amazing n im so proud of all the awesome stuff u make!! seeing u experiment more with ur gif sets n trying new things is so awesome n inspiring and i love seeing ur experiments work out!! i love u soso much n im so happy to be ur big brother!! (or one of them at least)
♡ @fruitbur ♡ virgil my Other beloved... i love u so much!! u are one of the kindest people ive ever met n im so glad i met u!! i know ive already told u this before but ur tagging system is so sweet n i love seeing u reblog my posts bc im like “yay alastair is gonna tell me that he loves me in the tags :D” i also lovelovelove ur theme, i love the soft pink and the lil aesthetic board that u have pinned, its so nice to look at!!! ily sososo much <333
♡ @theartofmining ♡ hey fruit ily. like genuinely, u are so unbelievably funny that u make my ribs hurt so much. i know we’re like never rly that serious but i love u so much. as much as i joke about hating u, i really am glad we’re friends n i really look forward to becoming better friends with u. i love u a whole lot rain, i love seeing u on my dash bc ur full of good takes n funny posts
♡ @sapnaplive ♡ dream.... bonks our foreheads together... i care u so much. my other half!!! i love u with my whole little heart. u are soso cool and im so lucky to be able to call u my friend!! ur themes are always so cool, i wish i could be half as cool as them!!! ur art is also so epic like??? u are a triple threat: good at art, tumblr themes, AND minecraft building. and ur also so kind!!! u are one of the sweetest people i know, i love u so much and im so glad im friends with u!!
♡ @dreams-little-kitten ♡ corn u are so weird and i mean that in the kindest way possible. u are so cryptic n i love that so much about u. ur like the wilbur to my philza sometimes and i think thats so awesome. that one time u came into my inbox to talk shit about that one cuphead boss was so funny and absurd, i loved that so much. i love You so much. i love how ur just so effortlessly funny, n im so glad i can be friends with u
♡ @dreamsmp ♡  JEL!!!! i love u so much holy cow. u are so sweet!! all the time!!! ur also so talented, ur gifs always look so good!!! i love being friends with u, ur always so nice to me n u always leave rly nice tags when u reblog my gif sets that make me so happy!!! i think about that one time u rbed my fundy gif set n said “FUNDY GIFS” and “GIFS BY FUNDY” it made me so happy!!! i love u a whole lot, im so glad we’re friends :)
♡ @leaguelol ♡ damien!! i love u so much u funky little cryptid!! i love when u pop into the gc just to share cryptic thoughts, u are so strange but i think thats so cool of u!!! i honestly see u kinda like a lil sibling, im always so proud of u when i see ur art on my dash!! u are so talented at art!! i love u so much n i love being ur friend, ur rly sweet n i love seeing u on my dash and in the gc!!
♡ @its5undy ♡ idk why im putting u on this, ur my mortal enemy. jkjk, i actually love u a lot clay! i love joking around with u, ur so funny and for what. im so glad u joined the gc bc i love talking to you so much!! i still love that one time u reblogged that fwt gif set n tagged me in it moments after I reblogged it. i love that u thought about me, that rly warms my heart! i love being friends with u sososo much
♡ @cavalreee ♡ oh hey, another great big fruit!! i dont think we talk all that often, which is a shame, bc ur so sweet!! and also so fucking funny, why is everyone in this friend group so fucking funny, its not fair. i love seeing u on my dash talking with ur other friends, u always have the funniest convos ever. also? ur desktop theme is SO epic, it threw me off the first time i saw it but its so swaggy, just like u!! i love u soso much azzie, n i hope we can talk more in the future bc ur so cool
♡ @technosoot ♡ i love u even tho ur a br*t /j /j /j. jannat u are so unbelievably sweet. im so glad u joined the gc bc u are such a kind presence both in there and on my dash! u radiate very Warm, Friend energy. ur friend shaped. i love u so much n i love being friends with u!! im very eager to become closer friends with u bc u seem like a really amazing friend to have
♡ @sortasortaspicy ♡ les where are u in the gc i miss u </3 i love u so much, u fit in so well from the very beginning n brought so much more fun and laughter into the gc. i dont know u all that well n i dont think we’ve talked one on one like. at all. but id love to get closer to u bc ur so rad and ur so sweet!!
♡ EPIC PEOPLE  ♡
(aka mutuals who are so cool n id love to be friends with u pls talk to me)
@eurytherm ♡ @vampkings ♡ @weelbur ♡ @wilburtheesoot ♡ @quackityskarl ♡ @wimblrscoot ♡ @technofarmer ♡ @wooteena ♡ @bloodforblood ♡ @smpsapnap ♡ @literallynotfound ♡ @hearty-an0n ♡ @enderanboo ♡ @springbonniecpu ♡ @pandascanpvp ♡ @tommylnnits ♡ @strawberrygogy ♡ @timedeo ♡ @nymika-arts ♡ @h-isforhome ♡ @eboykarl ♡ @joe-alkaysani ♡ @betwecouldmakesome ♡ @squirrelstone ♡ @maddieandchimney
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karasimpno · 3 years
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Karasimpno’s Top 10 Posts of 2020!
Thank you so much to Jade (@honeybunny-sawamura) for tagging me in this and giving me a reason to celebrate myself! And also because I didn’t get around to doing an end of year appreciation post! First, here are my top ten posts of the year (based both on the stats and my personal preferences ;) ), and then I’m gonna talk a lil about folks I’m super grateful for!!!!
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HQ Boys Seeing their S/O in Lingerie
This one kicked off my winter writing mini-marathon hahaha! I’m pretty proud of it - just some good ole fashioned boys lovin their sexy partner in lingerie!! Ft. Atsumu, Akaashi, Suga, Iwaizumi, and Sakusa
Bokuto//Back Muscles//2pm
Need I say more? Bokuto smut as a part of my 2:25 event! SMUT
Run Away With Me ft. Suga
Suga rushes over to your place to ask you a very important question. Whaddaya say? Fluff, part of my 25 Days of Ficmas event!
Sick Day ft. Akaashi
Ugh this one was so self indulgent for my Akaashi simping self but yeah. Things get a lil heated w Akaashi before he realizes your forehead is a lil heated and exerting yourself is the LAST thing you should be doing. Fluff with a dash of spice. Part of fluffvember!
The Party Goes With You ft. Kuroo
You don’t know his name, but you’re almost certain you’re in love with him. Mystery man Kuroo sweeps you off your feet during winning dances in the high-stakes poker game you deal for. Angsty, part of my 25 Days of Ficmas event!
What Happens If I Do This? Ft. Oikawa
You’ve been working hard and Oikawa just wants to make you feel better... fluff that gets a lil spicy (the best kind of fluff)
Graduation Button Ft. Kenma
This was such a sweet request I got where Kenma gives you his button at graduation. Fluff!
(Un)Wedded Bliss Ft. HardDom!Ennoshita
You and Ennoshita attend a wedding together, and dang if he doesn’t look good in a suit. It gets you thinking ideas that should probably wait until you get home, but Ennoshita’s gonna make you wait as long as possible before that happens. SMUT
Who Will Say It First? Ft. Asahi
You and your best friend are nearing the end of your high school year. Maybe it’s time you’re both honest with each other. Fluff:)
If I Loved You ft. Ushijima
You meet college volleyball star Ushijima Wakatoshi at the end of your senior year, not looking to get involved with anyone new. But a discussion about hypotheticals and a perfect night may end up surprising you. Fluff, part of my 25 Days of Ficmas event
Thank you so much to ALL OF YOU for following and liking and reblogging and commenting, it means the world to me and I read every one. I seriously do it for the serotonin hahahaha so I appreciate each and every one of you. Below the cut are some folks that I’ve particularly gotten joy from ilygsm
@chiefest-and-greatest-calamity you were literally my first follower and continue to be my biggest fan. I’ll never know what you see so much in my writing but I can’t tell you how much your support means to me. I love u SO MUCH and thank you for bringing a smile to my face with memes every day:) ily
@ceo-of-daichi LYDIA you were like one of my first ten followers and the first person to really encourage me to write smut heheheh so thank you for that. But beyond that, YOU’RE SO TALENTED I remember being floored when you followed me it felt like the beginning of making big strides for me. You were a huge role model to me in how I structured my blog and writing and stuff and it’s been so lovely to interact with you
@mrs-kuroojinguji aaaaa darling you’re so wonderful!! I’m so glad we’re moots and I love reading your writing!!!
@azo-musxas ugh GOD I PROMISE I’M GETTING TO YOUR OIKAWA REQ I’m sorry it’s taken forever!!! Ily please forgive me, I love going feral with you and seeing your comments on my posts <3
@heauxzenji IT WAS LITERALLY THE BIGGEST HONOR WHEN YOU FOLLOWED ME!!!!!! I adore everything you write and I just think you’re the coolest cucumber. You’re like hq tumblr royalty; I’m so glad we’re moots, thank you for being amazing <3
@honeybunny-sawamura JADE YOU ABSOLUTE ANGEL I LOVE YOU SO MUCH!!! Idk what I did to be blessed by your constant love and support, you’re amazing and I love your writing, thank you for being such an incredible cheerleader
@tsumurai ILYSM you’re so cool I’m so glad we’re moots. You were such an incredible support during the 25 days of ficmas event and it meant so much to me!!
@waitforitillwritemywayout AAAA Sabi I’m so glad we interact so much now!! You used to really intimidate me bc I love everything about your blog but it warms my heart to know you a little better now:):)
@alto-march-of-death AL YOU ANGEL it’s been so good to get to know you recently, thank you so much for interacting so often, you’re such a sweetheart and I feel like we’re very similar :) makes me happy to see you on my dash
@kodzurin ugh. Darling. I love you so much. I love seeing you interact with all your character anons (yes all of them, but especially one ;) ) and I’m so glad we’re moots. I love your work and I selfishly hope you post more of it!!! 
@daichis-kitty Kat you are my whole life omg your comments and tags on my posts recently mean the WORLD TO ME and you just fill my heart with joy ILYSM THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR YOUR LOVE N SUPPORT
@keishinslove I’m so GLAD we bonded over our love for Ukai Keishin, 26, high school volleyball coach last week like I just felt like I had a kindred spirit there and I’m so glad we met <3
@helloaisabelle AISY I - I’m so grateful that we chatted for so long the other night about writing and everything. Your writing is seriously incredible and it was so nice to just talk about writing in general. I know we like just became moots but I really kinda already consider you a friend haha I just really enjoyed talking to you and I think you’re wonderful <3
@lovingseijoh​, @datech, @chaotickatts, @kenmasbb, @b0ba-chan, @aiiishiiiteru, @tetsurolls, @atsubos, @softsakusa​, @prettysetterbaby​ I still cannot beLIEVE each of you follows me. Y’all are like hq tumblr royalty to me and I’m so GRATEFUL that you follow me. Thank you for being such inspirations and for making me so excited to be here. Thank you thank you thank you.
@karasunobbys, @matsukipple, @kingdoms--night--star, @crescentsteel @tsumtsumland see you guys on my dash all the time and it makes me happy!!!
and of course I’d be remiss if I didn’t give the BIGGEST THANK U to @bluntkingkuroo for getting me into this show, for beta reading all my shit, for indulging me in tom foolery, and for generally being a great friend. so grateful I’ve known you this long!!!! thank u for enabling me lol
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magpiefngrl · 3 years
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You didn't fail. Please don't let people with subpar reading comprehension skills affect your belief in yourself as a writer. Unfortunately, I think this happens more often the more nuanced a fic writer becomes in their characterization. Ironically, I would bet money it means you did succeed with all the right readers and that some people a) don't understand what you did or how you did it because they're just not reading on that level and b) they're coming in with preconceived notions of how these characters 'should' be written. And when/if they're not written to those specifications, they're going to get butthurt. You are a stellar writer, and I'm angry that someone who doesn't get you is being given the power to sway your opinion about yourself. They don't deserve it. (Also, I had someone comment that I'd turned Harry into a simp for a death eater once. People are going to take us wrong sometimes. Doesn't mean they're right or we're bad writers.) You're brilliant at what you do. You're absolutely brilliant. All my love, bb.
ah lqt, I can't thank you enough for this ask. It means a lot. ❤️
I know you're right. Rationally, I agree with you. Not in the sense that I'm sitting at my desk thinking of what a nuanced author I am lol, but in the sense that when I wrote the scene (that seems to be the problem), I had my reasons for it, I had thought of character motivations, and I felt that this is the right course to take.
(rant below)
The preconceived ideas that people bring with them is the main reason for these comments imo. I know Lettered has mentioned in at least a couple of posts that they've been getting comments re: Harry and Draco characterisations that don't match what they've written and they had to accept that these comments were what the reader brought with them rather than what was in the text. I whole-heartedly agreed with Lettered's posts, bc I've seen a marked difference in what people comment about in the past 4 years. Harry, these days, seems to be frequently seen by readers as either an idiot and a himbo, or a jerk. Both things drive me up the wall. It's one thing to joke about oblivious Harry once or twice, or to experiment with dark or mean Harry (and tag it as such, meaning the author is aware it's an unusual approach), another to see people accepting it as the standard characterisation. I never used to get insulting comments about Harry's behaviour 3-4 years ago. Never. And no one ever calls Draco a jerk or an idiot even when I try to write him as a bit of a git. I'm honestly going to start writing unredeemed Draco out of spite. When I receive the comments I receive about Harry now, I'm usually able to ignore them and say "this is what the reader brings to the story and it tells me more about them than about my writing."
But it's made me hate my inbox. It's made me receive an AO3 comment notif and think "oh god what now". 95% of the comments are lovely but for some reason the 5% has tainted the rest. I've had a lot of upheavals in the past 12 months in both real life and fandom and have had less support than normal. So when a third person says the same thing abut Harry regarding the same scene, I can't help but think "if I was a better writer, I'd have managed to convey what I wanted to convey" -- which is such a rational-appearing thought that I can't seem to shake it. I can't help but think that I fucked up, that I messed up some details and failed to convey what I needed the reader to think, and everyone else was too polite to comment on it.
It's such an insidious thought, isn't it? It appears to make so much sense. A better writer wouldn't have made people think X, right? That's what upset me about today's comment, when it isn't hateful or anything. It managed to slip through and hit me right in the most insecure part, and I can't seem to make that voice shut up.
Everyone (and you!) has been lovely though. It's a testament to how full of compassion fandom communities are. I am heart-warmed by the outpouring of love and support by the community and I've had a few good cries already.
Thanks again bb ❤️❤️
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Damijon Secret Santa
@woahjaybird happy holidays ris!!!!!!!!!! i admit, i was a bit confused, bc you signed up for a ship fic exchange and requested platonic bros, but whatever. i hope you like it!
To be honest, it was something Damian said a lot. 
Jon heard those words practically every time Damian opened his mouth: in the middle of a mission, when they were baking pies with Ma Kent, during a stakeout, on a rooftop eating takeout. 
They used to be annoying. God, sometimes Jon just wanted to drop his restraint and punch Damian in the face, full-force. Especially when he said those words, again and again and again. Over time, though, Jon grew used to them, and after a while, they just began to amused him.
You should be afraid of me.
Because Jon never understood those words. What was there to be scared of?
The two of them were sitting on a rooftop in Metropolis, Jon with his long legs dangling over the side of the building, Damian cross-legged next to him. Taking a long slurp of his smoothie, Jon glanced over at Damian, who was outlining their plan of attack for tomorrow-- a mission to take down an arms dealer who had been working out of Metropolis for months. With Dad stretched thin over League, international, and intergalactic affairs, criminals were becoming a little less hesitant to step foot into the city. Superboy and Robin would be taking care of that soon.
Jon was listening, he really was. The battle plans were definitely lodging themselves somewhere in Jon’s subconsciousness. But he had to admit, most of his attention was fixed firmly on Damian himself.
Jon remembered the days the prickly young boy would throw his nose up haughtily in the air, state he’d been intelligent enough to have a doctorate at seven years old, and miff at anyone who insinuated otherwise. It was a far sight from when Damian had  curled himself up on Jon’s bed, and under the guise of watching a movie, told Jon about his acceptance into the most prestigious art schools in Gotham. 
And that was the reason behind Jon’s inattention, wasn’t it? Damian was eighteen, now. Their age difference didn’t seem like much when they were ten and thirteen and going against the world with all the confidence of a couple boys playing pretend. Now, Damian had a weariness in his shoulders, but lips that quirked up into a smile far too often, skin layered in scars but hands gentler than Jon ever thought he was capable of. Jon himself was a fumbling, awkward fifteen year old with jeans that were always too short, hair that was always too messy. And Jon used to think he was over feeling inferior to his best friend.
He’d miss him. Jon would miss Damian so much. Sure, Damian would probably try and keep their visits somewhat consistent, but work would pile up, and a curator would probably see Damian’s talents and whisk him away to the world of the famous artists, and Damian would forget he ever had a friend named Jon and would go on to become a household name while Jon spent the rest of his life living in his parents’ house and updating his mediocre blog that he started because of a dare.
No, he wasn’t being dramatic, thank you very much.
Unfortunately, Damian seemed to catch onto his lack of attention and snapped his fingers underneath Jon’s nose, startling him back to focus.
Never one to sugarcoat, Damian said, “You look miserable.”
“What? No, I’m fine!” Jon didn’t know why he even tried to play it off, he’d never been able to lie to Damian.
“Right. My mistake. Someone who was fine would definitely spend the past hour drinking out of a smoothie cup that’s already empty.”
Huh. Jon hadn’t even realized he’d finished the drink. He put it to the side and shook his head. “Really, it’s not a pro-oblem.” Oh, goddamnit.
“Your voice cracks are ridiculous,” Damian informed him. Why had Jon ever thought he’d changed? That smug voice was as irritating as ever.
“Yeah, they’re hilarious, thanks.”
“I don’t understand why you’re upset.” Apparently, this matter was serious enough for Damian to put his map down. Wasn’t that comforting?
But Jon had never liked to keep things from his best friend. “That. That’s what’s bothering me.”
“Your voice cracks?” Now Damian just sounded confused.
“Yes! No, I don’t know. I just don’t like them.” Jon crossed his arms in frustration.
When he looked over at Damian, the other boy’s eyes were wide, and in that stupidly deep and non-cracking voice, he said, “This conversation has gone well past the point of understanding and I’m going to continue with the plan now.”
Jon sighed. “No, Damian, it’s not that.”
“Then?”
Searching for the right words, Jon drummed his fingers together. “You...you’re going off to that fancy art school soon. You’re all grown up. And here I am with my stupid video games and voice cracks.”
Jon wasn’t exactly sure what he was expecting. Damian could never be called a master of social interaction, and his basic settings were sarcastic, condescending, or incredulous. Still, Jon expected something a bit kinder than:
“You’re such a moron, Jonathan.”
“What?”
“You heard me.”
Jon stared at Damian for a moment, blinking stupidly. “So I tell you about the problem that’s been eating me up for weeks, and all you say is that I’m a moron? Thank you so much for that.”
“I’m telling you you’re a moron because you’re worrying about something so inconsequential.”
“Oh please, do elaborate.”
Damian paused, then let out a tired sigh, turning to face Jon. This was going to be a serious conversation, then.
“Jonathan. I have told you time and time again. You should be scared of me-”
“Oh my god,” Jon interrupted. “This stuff, again?” He was laughing now. “I know, I know. You should be horrified, cower in terror underneath my ruthlessness, blah blah blah. You say it all the time, I get it. I should be scared of you.”
Damian stared at him. “Are you done?” he said with a raised eyebrow.
“I’m tired of you bringing up the same thing over and over, Damian.”
“And in saying that, you just proved my point.”
Jon frowned in confusion. “What?”
“I’ve always said that you should be afraid of me. But you never have been, not since the moment we met.”
“Like there’s anything to be scared of.”
“Yes, Jonathan. There is.” Damian looked Jon in the eye, his gaze sharp and serious.
Damian’s honesty was strange, something Jon wasn’t used to, so he tried to play it off with a laugh. “Yeah, yeah, assassin training’s tough-”
“When I was six years old, I murdered a man in front of his daughter.”
Jon fell silent.
“I used to command an entire legion in my grandfather’s army. We completely destroyed and took down three different countries.”
“Damian, I-” 
“Once, Grandfather put me in a straightjacket and wrapped me in chains, surrounded by trained guards, with no instruction other than to escape. And I did.”
Hesitantly, Jon said, “I never knew.”
“Because I never told you. That, and so much more, is why everybody I ever know has been scared of me.”
“Even Nightwing?”
“Nightwing grew out of it eventually,” Damian admitted. “But everyone else. The rest of the bats. Father. Even Mother. There’s fear in their eyes when they look at me.”
“Oh. Uh,” Jon shrugged. “That sucks.”
“That sucks?” Damian said, dry but amused.
“I didn’t know what else to say!” Jon defended.
“See? That’s what I’ve been trying to tell you.”
Jon furrowed his eyebrows. “You’ve been trying to tell me it sucks? Because I already knew it sucks.”
“Jonathan…” Damian trailed off, then grabbed Jon’s wrists with his own hands.
“Hey!” Jon protested, though only out of surprise. Because Damain’s hands were warm and his thumb was pressing down on Jon’s pulse point and Jon could honestly say he had no objection to this.
Damian’s face showed nothing but piercing intensity: brows furred and eyes locked on Jon’s own. “Jon. Look me in the eyes, and tell me you’re scared of me.”
“But I’m not?”
“I just told you things that would have grown men running away from me in terror. Tell me at least some of that scares you.”
“No,” Jon shook his head and gripped the other’s boy’s wrists back. “No. I’m not scared of you.”
Letting out a breath, Damian moved away. For a moment, Jon found himself chasing that warmth.
“You are the only person who’s ever thought that.” Damian turned, shifting to mirror Jon’s position. Staring out over the city, a billboard washed colours over Damian’s face. He looked like a work of art, and Jon had no idea how anybody could ever fear him.
“You’re my best friend, Damian.” Jon shrugged, despite the fact that Damian couldn’t see him. “I’ve seen you scream at a machine for losing at Cheese Viking. I’ve seen you befriend a little squirrel you found on Ma’s farm. So how exactly am I supposed to be afraid of you?”
Damian nodded, as if that solidified something. “If you really think that I would leave the only person that isn’t scared of me, if you think that I would stop being friends with someone who has always thought of me as a human first and a weapon second just because I’m going to a university, then you are the biggest moron to ever walk the face of the earth.”
Stunned, Jon moved to sit next to Damian. “Oh.”
Jon had always been aware of their height difference, made plenty of jokes about it, but it really struck him how much smaller Damian was when the older boy turned to look up and smile at him. “So stop worrying, okay Kent? It’s unbecoming.”
“Whatever you say,” Jon acquiesced. 
Damian wasn’t leaving for good. Damian, with his burning green eyes and molten beauty, still wanted to be friends with him. 
With a smile on his face, Jon turned to look out at the city, letting the quiet wash over him. At his side, Damian did the same. A huge thank you to @iamwhelmed for organizing the secret santa this year!!
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