#the shit i did was justifiable. i sure am making it sound like i'm trying to justify it but i'm mostly just trying to explain it and what

[faintedlcve]

hey babe ! i saw that you take mattheo riddle requests xx i was wondering if you could write a mattheo riddle x reader where reader gets dumped (by whoever you want) and mattheo riddle comforts them? Thanks x

Pretty Crier

Pairing: mattheo riddle x fem!reader

Warnings: swearing, not proof read, fluff (not a warning but wtv)

Best friends to lovers.

The reader is Slytherin. Mattheo calls reader princess (just more natural for him to).

English isn't my first language so there might be mistakes xx

Summary: your boyfriend breaks up with you and mattheo riddle comforts you.

Oh and mattheo and reader have been friends since year 1 so they're like really close.

A/n: thanks for the request xx kinda lost inspo at the end lmao

If you want to request I recommend reading this xx

reblogs are appreciated xx

You knew it would happen. You knew he was going to dump you. You just didn't think it would be so fast. So, of course your shock was justified when your boyfriend broke up with you this morning for no apparent reason. He claimed "he was bored of you" and "found someone more exciting". I mean, if he was going to break up with you, he could atleast give a valid reason.

Tears flooded your eyes as the words hit you like a face slap. You ran down the hallway to the astronomy tower where you knew you'd be alone and bawled your eyes out. Alone. Or atleast you thought you were.

You heard the shuffle of footsteps behind you, wiped your eyes and turned around. And there he was towering you. Mattheo Riddle.

You looked at him with teary eyes.

"What do you want?" I say though my voice doesn't sound the least bit intimidating. Infact it quavered.

"I just want to help you. You could atleast be nice about it." He states, rolling his eyes.

You glare at him.

"I don't want your help." You say obviously lying.

He raises his eyebrow, unamused.

You roll your eyes and acquiesce in his decision. You pat next to yourself gesturing him to sit next to you.

He sits next to you, his back against the pillar like yours. He takes out a cigarette and lights it.

"and here I thought I was the depressed one." You say sarcastically.

"what, you want one princess?" He asks.

You didn't initially intend on saying yes but you do.

He opens his box.

"Shit I'm out." He says. "Here take this one." He hands you his.

"no it's fine." You reply.

"you're right, you're the one that's depressed. Take it. I don't mind. Unless you don't want to for some other reason." Mattheo states.

"i- erm fine. We could share it?" You suggest.

"yeah yeah that's fine!" Mattheo says nervously.

"sorry i didn't mean to make you uncomfortable. You can have that one." you blurt out.

"no it's fine don't worry just making sure you aren't uncomfortable." he smiles at you genuinely.

"he actually smiles! Like a genuine one!" You joke trying to liven up the atmosphere.

Mattheo chuckles at that.

"Only for you princess" He replies.

"So erm who made you cry?" Mattheo asks.

"Just some asshole ravenclaw."

"He sounds like a jerk."

"he is."

"What'd he do?"

"he broke up with me. Said I was boring."

Mattheo wears a shocked expression.

"first of all that bitch ravenclaw is probably more boring than any slytherin that ever existed. Second of all, you are not boring. I've known you since year 1 and somehow I am not bored of you. That bitch knew you for two seconds and was already bored. Third of all, red flag red flag red flag." Mattheo exclaimed.

I chuckle.

"oh and did I mention you are beautiful and amazing and that annoying fuck does not deserve you." Mattheo adds.

"thanks." I smile at him trying to hide the tears clouding my sight. A tear rolls down my eyes.

Mattheo reaches out to wipe it away, shortly stopping to make sure he has your consent. When he receives a nod from you in reply, he gently wipes his thumb against your cheek to remove the tear. It shouldn't give you butterflies but it did.

"don't cry princess." Mattheo hugs you and rubs circles in your waist to comfort you.

You breathe in his cologne mixed with the scent of the cigarette you two shared. You relaxed in his hold.

"how long have you been crying?" Mattheo asks like it's a normal question to ask.

"sorry?" You respond.

"you're a pretty crier." He winks at you.

"You haven't been with me one minute and you're already flirting." I tut at him jokingly.

"you don't mind it do you princess?" He asks.

You shake your head.

No you didn't mind it. Of course you didn't.

"you look better when smiling though." He says.

You smile at him.

"trying to impress me huh?" He winks at you.

"what can I say, I guess even I can't resist your charm." You play along.

"don't worry darling, nothing to be ashamed of." He smirks at you.

"don't pride yourself Riddle." You try to humble him.

"hard not to when one of the prettiest girls I know admits to not being able to resist my charm."

"you don't mean that."

"yeah I do."

"prove it."

And he does. His lips crash against yours. His lips are soft. As he pulls away, you smirk at him.

"looks like you can't resist my charm." You say pointedly.

"yeah I guess not. But is that so bad?" He asks.

No. No it wasn't. Infact it was much better than he would've known.

#harry potter imagine #harry potter #mattheo riddle fluff #mattheo riddle x you #mattheo riddle x y/n #mattheo riddle x reader #mattheo riddle #mattheoxreader #mattheo x y/n #mattheo x you #marcus lopez imagine #deadly class imagine #deadly class #marcus lopez x reader #marcus lopez arguello

[gnostiquette]

the satan: oh foolish mortal...i greet you, to reveal your desires unto you! me: ok hey what's up the satan: i have decided to test you, to-day, to discern your commitment to The Good me: sounds great! so, do i have to reject a kingdom of glory and riches or refuse to jump off a building and make God save me or— the satan: oh no none of that. this'll be much simpler. i am going to present you with a series of ethical situations! ahahaha! me: oh sweet i think about these all the time the satan: perfect...it is time for The First Situation! now, picture a city that is so perfect, everyone is happy and no one is ever sad and there's cakes and festivals and orgies and— me: is this Omelas the satan: me: like this is just gonna be the Le Guin story with the kid in the basement right the satan: ...yeah. ok so there's the kid and the basement and there's the torture, ok yeah you know this one. right. so anyway...you have just learned about the kid being tortured in the basement. what is your judgement here? me: well uh, i guess i walk away the satan: aha but i didn't ask you what you'd do, did i? me: oh come on you tricky little fuck. ok. yeah this situation sucks the satan: and why, pray tell, do you say that is, despite all the happiness and nonsadness and cakes and festivals and orgies and whatnot? me: i suppose it's just that none of that shit justifies torturing a kid in a basement forever. also all that shit sounds kinda gay when you put it like that. like some weird Dutch fag shit the satan: ah. well, moving on, you whimsy-hating homophobe— me: what, just because i say that sounds like Dutch fag shit makes me homophobic? i'm gay you know i can call shit fag shit if i want the satan: —moving on, you would agree with the statement that whatever the consequence, it is inherently wrong to torture a child, hmm? me: well yeah that sounds about right the satan: aha...! me: wait why'd you make that noise the satan: wh-what me: that clicking noise. that was you right the satan: oh no no noise of things clicking into place emanated from my nostrils me: you worded that pretty weirdly, you know the satan: it's time for The Second Situation! you have cro— me: damn you just straight up evaded what i was saying the satan: —you have crossed The First Situation, i was saying, so now it is time for round two. ahem. now, firstly, would you agree that, in general, lying and stealing and cheating are bad? me: well, yeah. i don't like lying, and in general it seems pretty fucked up to cheat and steal the satan: so now you have come across a man in the street who is starving and wounded. after one hour he will die if he is not fed and treated for his wound. there is a store nearby but you are flat broke and have no pocket money, and begging isn't an option. even if you ask your friends to PayPal you they will not be able to get back to you for another two hours. the ER is too far away and there's too much traffic for an ambulance to arrive and take him there in less than an hour and a half, but there is a clinic nearby able to take anyone immediately. however the clinic only accepts people with insurance, and neither of you have an insurance card. you are, however, fairly confident that you can make up fake details that they would be willing to accept. me: what are you trying to write a Jacobin article or something. i'm already a socialist, you don't need to lay out how fucked up our healthcare system or whatnot is, i already know— the satan: okok sure this would never happen under socialism blahblahblah the point is what would you do in this situation me: but in the last one the point was my judgement not what i do. this is getting confusing the satan: DIFFERENT SITUATIONS HAVE DIFFERENT RULES OK?? GOD JUST LEAVE IT AT THAT FOR NOW God: OH HEY SATAN DID YOU JUST CALL UPON ME the satan: HOLD ON I'M STILL TESTING THIS GUY GIVE ME A SECOND God: OH OK THAT'S YOUR JOB AFTER ALL. I SHALL LEAVE YOU TO IT. JUST DON'T BE TOO MEAN

the satan: FUCK. ok. ok. anyway here's the question. assuming you're also relatively confident you can shoplift without getting caught, do you steal a couple things from the store for the man to eat and do you present fake information to the clinic to get them to accept the guy and treat his wound me: yeah totally. i don't want him to die or anything. i'd gladly do just about anything to save someone's life the satan: so in other words, doing bad things like lying, stealing, and cheating in order to accomplish a good thing such as saving a life is good, right? me: sure, i'd say so the satan: AAAAAHH-HAA! i have TRAPPED you! for your response to the first situation implies that good inheres in the act itself, regardless of consequences, and your response to the second implies that good inheres in the consequences of an act, regardless of the means!

me: i mean...not necessarily? like— the satan: wh-what do you mean, mortal me: well, perhaps i think the negative consequences of torture for the child far outweigh the positive consequences for everyone else the satan: what the fuck is that you're doing me: oh i mean you're doing red text, i figure i do blue text, i figure this is like an Umineko thing or whatever the satan: fine. sure. you can do that. whatever. none of this matters to me. why did i pick this fucking job in the first place me: the satan: ...ok, the townspeople get far more happiness than the kid gets suffering me: but what if suffering itself is worth more in moral accounting than happiness, for instance the satan: then how about this? in the second example, you could have caused the shop to shut down due to lost trust with the distributor! you could have caused the clinic to lose their licence over insurance fraud! those could have easily caused far more suffering than if the man simply passed out and died after an hour! me: that's...that sounds far-fetched, but you said it in red, so. ok what if good actually inheres in the character of the person doing the act, so a virtuous person would refuse to sanction torturing a child for the greater good and gladly steal and cheat to save a man's life the satan: virtue ethics is unable to provide actionable guidance! me: oh? the satan: all you can do is imagine what a virtuous person would do, and different people have wildly different imaginations! me: well hmm. that's fair. i'm not sure i could personally live with that, especially in an age where we're getting ever closer to potentially misaligned AI. what if there's rules that say you must never do some things but then other rules can be broken if there's something more important the satan: if those rules exist, then list them off and justify them to me >: ) me: uh, don't torture, don't rape...don't kill is up there, but what if you're killing someone to defend someone else...wait fuck no, what about bombing civilians to end a war, that doesn't sound justifiable at all...god damn it... God: OH HELLO YES I'M BACK the satan: NO FUCK NO WAIT NO God: HELLO DEAR SWEET MORTAL CHILD. IS MY EMPLOYEE BEING TOO HARD ON YOU? OH DEAR I CAN GIVE YOU AN ANSWER IF THIS IS GOING TOO POORLY the satan: oh come on please just let me do my job like normal God: MY DEAR LITTLE CREATURE I HOPE YOU KNOW YOU CAN SIMPLY RELY ON MY EDICT AND ALL THESE DILEMMAS BECOME AS DUST IN THE BROOM OF AN OLD FAT LADY me: why thank you, my Lord, but no matter how perfect You are, it remains that divine command theory is a fundamentally subjectivist theory that cannot provide a truly objective and impersonal basis for ethics, and subjective morality is not a risk i'm really willing to take God: BUT AREN'T I PERFECT FOR YOU AND ALL THINGS MY PRECIOUS LITTLE CREATION me: why, yes, but there's a small but persistent chance You're a figment of my imagination, just like the satan over here, and— the satan: hhHHEYYY NOW me: —and i know that You love righteousness, so really i'd rather continue pleasing You even if You weren't around to tell me what righteousness is God: WHY THAT IS VERY SWEET OF YOU. YOU KNOW WHAT I'M JUST GOING TO STRAIGHT UP LIFT YOU TO HEAVEN LIKE THAT MERRY OLD FELLOW FAUST me: wait huh the satan: w-wait Lord don't you think you're being a bit hasty in judgement a chorus of angels: [grabbing me and lifting me into the aether] ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*HE WHO STRIVES ON AND LIVES TO STRIVE CAN EARN REDEMPTION STILL*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧ me: [rapidly disappearing into the sky, utterly bewildered] wait. hold on. hold up. wait,

#ethics #metaethics #philosophy #this is what's going on inside my head 24/7

[genericpuff]

Hello, i saw your post about Perse being a menace to the nymphs and I agree and the majority of what you said buuut

not to defend Persephone or anything, but didn't Minthe send her to the wrong place on purpose? I haven't read LO in a long time so i don' t remember the details but since she works there, she knows that THAT place is dangerous, and I'm not saying blackmail is ok but in perse's place i would be angry too, so while yes, the author makes Persephone and all the other characters treat nymphs poorly and that's one of the main reasons I dropped LO, that specific event (without taking in account the context of all, because yes in that moment Hades is basically cheating on Minthe with Persephone and she doesn't even felt guilty) but Minthe was so wrong for sending Perse there in the first place

English is not my first language so i apologize if i sound rude or if it's difficult to understand my idea.

But i really like this kind of posts because there are soo many scenes that i used to romanticize when i first read it while in school, like all those scenes with Tori and now i realize why LO is sooo messed up

So it's funny you bring that up because yes, Minthe did send her to the wrong place on purpose, however what DOESN'T get remembered often is that Minthe felt remorse over it.

And we see her feel remorse in this way on several occasions, including during the slap scene.

The fact that Minthe keeps getting pigeonholed into the "petty bitch" archetype by the narrative feels more of a consequence of Rachel trying to make the audience hate her no matter what (because she's the "other woman" in the H x P ship), and yet she shows more self-awareness and capability for growth than Hades and Persephone ever have, which is what makes her so endearing for the fanbase. She doesn't understand why she acts the way she does but she knows it's not okay. It's just that change is hard, especially when that change is dependent on you analyzing yourself and being willing to accept your faults and mistakes.

Unlike Hades and Persephone, who not only continuously act like brats to the people around them (especially Persephone as of late) but only take the kind of 'accountability' that makes them look good (ex. Therapy Speak), without showing any genuine remorse or willingness to change. It makes it feel like the nymphs are only mistreated because the narrative constantly gives them characterizations to justify their mistreatment.

Yes, Minthe's done terrible things, things that ultimately led to her downfall in a lot of ways - but I'm sure as shit more interested in where she has to go as a character than I am in Hades and Persephone, who have nowhere to go because they're clearly content with who they are.

Eughghgh.

#lore olympus critical #lo critical #anti lore olympus #ask me anything #ama #anon ama #anon ask me anything

[themathomhouse]

I haven't seen this posted about here but it's going round Twitter and tiktok, and I'm so beyond angry I can't let it go.

The UK imprint of Simon and Schuster have announced a history of Gaza is forthcoming from writer and academic Dr Anne Irfan. She's a professor at UCL specialising in Palestinian refugees and their treatment under the UNRWA. She's done extensive work and volunteering in refugee camps, advocates for Palestinians in the UK directly to government, works with a number of projects including in asylum applications, and writes articles both in academic journals and in newspapers about Palestine. Whilst studying for her thesis, she was denied entry into Palestine by Israel.

Sounds like a highly qualified person to write a history of Gaza, right?

WRONG!

According to activists on social media - all of whom have comparable work backgrounds and experience I'm sure - it's completely unacceptable for her to write this book!!! Some of which is due to her being a white woman (we'll get to that), and some is due to her husband being a soldier in the IDF and clapping for genocide (we'll get to that too).

The vitriol and backlash has been awful, and I haven't seen many takedowns so under the cut I will dissect the issues here.

1) she's not Palestinian.

This one seems to be true, and I do think that it's important that we allow people from a region to tell their own stories. This isn't the worst criticism, however given the other problems people have I think it's being brought up disengenuously.

She is an expert though, and I am deeply concerned about this progression to an idea that we should only learn about or discuss our own cultures. Palestinian voices not being elevated is a systemic issue, not the fault of one woman who we can at least say possesses the requisite expertise to write a history book.

She's actually already written one book - Refuge and Resistance: Palestinians and the international refugee system.

Here's a list of recent news articles she's written.

2) she's white.

This one I can't verify. There are claims from people purporting to be former students of hers who say she's Jordanian and has family in Palestine. Certainly her surname is Arabic and she's listed as being fluent in Arabic on her academic profiles, so I'm not willing to assume from the single photograph I've seen that she's white.

We have also seen from the rise in antisemitism recently that whiteness is entirely conditional, and I think in this case it's being thrust upon her to justify saying she has no business writing a book. I think this is trying to get at systemic issues with publishing, but without any of the facts.

Source:

3) her husband is an IDF soldier.

Her partner (not husband as far as I can tell) tweeted out the book announcement. He's a fucking marketing data guy who works for Twitter. He's not in the IDF. He's just Israeli and so probably did national service, but that's an assumption as he lives in London.

Source:

I can't add his LinkedIn or other profiles as they've all been deleted, likely due to this shit. This will have to do.

4) he supports genocide.

No.

He had a take that I don't personally agree with - saying Israel shouldn't agree to a ceasefire until the hostages have been returned - but that is an extremely far cry from any kind of support for genocide. His Twitter has been deleted so I've only seen screenshots, possibly someone made this claim but failed to procure the correct evidence; but that seems extremely unlikely.

Even the original person who tweeted about this has tried to walk it back (not the husband part but some of the other stuff).

There were no receipts by the way, possibly due to a change of heart.

Babe you called it coloniser apologia and attacked her personally as well as her partner, you're kind of the one who made it personal. Feel bad all you want but this is just you being defensive.

What now?

If you are going to make claims about someone supporting genocide or any of this shit, be really fucking sure before you throw a Molotov cocktail into the dumpster fire of this discourse. The publisher, an unrelated book news website, her editor (who's made her account private after being @ed in the comments), and she and her partner (both deleted Twitter) have been inundated with tweets and videos on tiktok yelling about it - most of which has been at best unhelpful, but comes from a place of xenophobia and an entirely misapplied desire to crusade for justice - and I'm being generous calling it that.

Has this helped? Has it? Did posting her university email and calling for people to call her a fascist in her work inbox manifest some Palestinian writers? Has tweeting shit like this helped?

Getting rid of academia is definitely A Good Take and not the step authoritarians take.

I've personally written to the publisher to express my sadness at this whole thing, agreeing that Palestinian voices are extremely important to uplift but also saying that Dr Irfan is clearly more than qualified to write this book. I admire all of the work she has already done spending more than a decade working with Palestinian refugees, and I hope very much that everyone involved is doing okay.

I don't know what else to do. All I can do is once again say that people need to really, properly fact-check before you post. This woman is actually doing the activism. She's an historian, yes; but also does work directly in camps and with the preservation of archives. Her crime seems to me to be that her partner is Israeli, and if that's where we're at then I don't even want to know where we're going.

#i/p #antisemitism #xenophobia #anne irfan #don't make me regret tagging this #long post

[thewarriorspecial]

It's All Good

*Archive Edition* Previously only linked to AO3, full work now available under the cut.

Read on AO3

Rating: Explicit | Guy Gardner/Kyle Rayner

Additional Tags: Friends With Benefits, Booty Calls, Spanking, Aftercare, Aromantic Guy

Kyle badly wants to indulge a kink he's shy about. Guy's an old friend and he doesn't get tied up in strings. Guy's just the right guy to take care of Kyle.

(I couldn't sleep because I'm having surgery in the morning and I'm freaked out so enjoy some coping via otp! Cotping? Is that good? Did I do a funny? Gonna try to sleep again. Hope this is good!)

“I mean, I don’t…I don’t do this very often.” Kyle says into the phone, palm pressed to his forehead like he can somehow keep the embarrassment he feels from waterfalling out. He can’t believe he’s hitting up his best friend for a booty call. This is some kind of new low.

“You don’t have to justify anything with me, kid,” Guy’s voice crackles through the speaker.

Kid. Kyle loves and hates how that makes him feel all at once.

“We’ll still be cool, right? Like, nothings gonna change between us?”

“I dunno, you might fall in love with me,” Guy laughs.

“You know what I mean,” Kyle hisses and Guy can feel the kid rolling his eyes.

“I know. I do. We’re good.” Silence from the other end. Just Kyle’s shaky breathing. “So.” Guy’s voice rumbles, low and hot, “Tell me what you like.”

“I don’t know. I just—“ Kyle sighs.

“There’s no one here but us. You know I’ll be good to you. I won’t tell anybody shit. Just talk to me, honey.”

“I know. I know I—I trust you.”

“Good, good.”

“Well, something I like is, um. It’s—I don’t get to very often. I mean, I don’t really bring it up. I get enough shit, you know?”

“Go ahead.”

“I just…it’s just…This is hard, you know!”

“So am I.” The rustle of clothes that accompanies Kyle’s shy laugh tells Guy the kid is covering his eyes. Judging by the subtle creak in the background, he’s flailing all over his bed—probably threw one of his arms over his face. A real pretty picture. “Buddy, if you don’t tell me soon I’m gonna start guessing and I’m definitely gettin’ started without you.”

Kyle’s laugh is far away and muffled this time. He pulled the phone away from his covered face as he was wracked with involuntary, embarrassed giggling. His breath is faster and louder when he puts the receiver to his ear again. “Really?” He breathes.

“Oh really. Very, actually. I’m proud’a myself for keeping my hands to myself all those years you lived with me.”

“Yeah?” It’s so soft Guy barely hears it.

Of course the twelve on the other end of the line is fretting about being a six. Typical. “You’re hot. Period. I’ve always wanted to play with you.”

“Why didn’t you ever say anything?!” Kyle’s voice gets embarrassingly high and he thinks his eyes might bug out of his head. 

“I was sure you were straight.”

“I mean, I am. I love women. I still date women.”

“So do I.” Comes the easy, breezy reply.

The sigh that rushes out of Kyle’s nose is both amused and relieved; Guy remembers the sound. “That’s what I like about you Guy. You get it.”

“You just like me for my big, huge, throbbin' brain.” That earns Guy a real, full laugh. “Definitely not objectifyin’ my bangin’ bod.” Kyle laughs again and Guy can hear him get up and start pacing his apartment. Good. A mobile Kyle is a happy Kyle. “So come on, tell your bestie what you like in the sack.”

“Well, it’s—“ Kyle starts and the sound of a glass hitting countertop and liquid pouring interrupts his words for a moment. Kyle takes an audible chug of what Guy assumes is liquor and heaves another sigh. “I want you to spank me,” he blurts out.

“No problem.”

“Thats—really?”

“Really. Bring that tight little ass over here and drink some real hooch with your friend.”

——

Kyle’s distinct knock of shave-and-a-haircut raps through the living room and Guy jumps up at the sound. He opens the door and is treated to the sight of Kyle leaning in the doorway. He forgets sometimes that Kyle’s actually a little taller and he takes a moment to admire the way his tight, lean body fills the doorframe. 

Kyle’s really done up for this little booty call. He’s got on one of Guy’s favorite outfits—the Nine Inch Nails t-shirt under the leather jacket and the way, way too tight jeans. Fuck. Kyle is hot.

“You gonna invite me in or were you planning on doing this in the hallway?”

Guy steps aside as he says, “Hey, If you’re into being watched I’ll call a few friends.”

Kyle’s confident stride stutters as he’s struck through with a surge of lust at the thought. He whips around to say something snarky but nothing comes out. His pretty mouth works for a moment and his heart shaped face flushes.

“That good, huh?”

When Kyle smiles, he smiles with his whole body. The smile that starts in his eyes spreads to his full lips, tips his head back, relaxes his shoulders and causes him to rock his weight from heel to heel. It’s the way these little details about his best friend warm Guy heart that makes him think, this must be something like what love feels for romantic people. He can’t imagine, even for a second, cuffing his expressive friend in any kind of captivity. Kyle needs to love and be loved to flourish. If anybody ever put his fire out Guy’s gonna put their fuckin eyes out.

“So?” Kyle asks as he rocks back and forth, nervous yet excited, “How do you wanna do this?”

“Lets talk about it,” Guy nods to the kitchen island where two glasses and a bottle of expensive liquor are already waiting. Kyle leans on the counter and spins his glass with his finger.

“Well, like I was kinda saying before, I really don’t do this a lot.”

“Hook-ups or kinky stuff?” Guy asks as he pours his drink and playfully stills Kyle’s glass to fill it as well.

“The—well. Both.”

“That’s cool. No judgin’ from me. You know that.”

Kyle hangs his head and pushes his thick hair out of his face. It bounces right back into place. “I feel so uncool.”

“Well,” Guy teases loudly with a shrug, “You’re still hot. So.” He dramatically protects his glass as he turns away from Kyle’s play-punch. “Alright, alright, so tell me this. What’s allowed and what’s not allowed?”

“Okay. Um, I don’t want to actually—” Kyle waves his hands in a vague way. Guy raises an eyebrow and sips his drink, waiting for Kyle to elaborate. Kyle laughs and continues, “I don’t want to actually, well, fuck.”

“Cool.” Guy sets his glass down and leans both arms on the counter, unconsciously mirroring Kyle’s position. 

“And um, I don’t know if I want to get fully naked. But maybe? Maybe just a little at a time.”

“That’s cool, too.”

“Okay,” Kyle’s smile is slow and shy when he looks up. “So, I kind of picture it like, I don’t know. We warm up somehow—drinks is nice by the way—“ Guy simply responds by raising his glass with a smug smile, “and then I wanna lay across your lap and then, you know.”

“And then what?” Guy’s lopsided grin grows even wider.

“You know! Thats—I want you to spank me.” Kyle’s words rush out in a hushed tone.

“I fuckin love hearing you say that.”

Kyle stands up straight, downs what’s in his glass in one go. He walks the length of the kitchen island, putting himself into Guy’s space. His eyes dart back and forth between Guy’s, not sure where he wants to look. His lip press together and he swallows. He looks down at Guy’s wide chest, lays a hand on the thin material of Guy’s tank top—feels the heat radiating through. He looks back up again with his big, brown eyes, “I want you to spank me.” And this time his voice is strong and clear.

Guy makes a sound somewhere between a purr and a chuckle, “Is kissin’ allowed?” He asks in a soft rumble.

“Oh yeah,” Kyle’s head is already tilting, his eyes already sliding closed. 

This close, Kyle’s smells intoxicating. The mint and vetiver cologne he’s wearing blends with the sun-warmed leather jacket and the liquor on his breath. 

Guy tilts his chin up to meet Kyle’s lips with his own. He winds his thick fingers in Kyle’s silky hair and pulls him close. There are so many things he wants to do to his pretty ex-roomate and  there’s entirely too little time in a day, in a lifetime. He pushes Kyle against the counter, pushes himself between Kyle’s legs and Kyle lets himself be moved. 

Kyle sinks into Guy’s broad frame and drapes his arms over the redhead’s shoulders. He opens his mouth, licking against Guy’s lips. But Guy ducks his head and starts sucking a bruise into the elegant curve of Kyle’s neck. Kyle digs his fingers into Guy’s shoulders. He drags his nails up and down Guy’s scalp, twisting the short hair between his knuckles and making Guy growl.

Guy drags his teeth over the mark he made before he decides to bite down. Kyle groans and grinds their hips together. He drapes his weight over Guy like he’s trying to decide if he wants to just climb him. 

“Let’s take this to the bedroom,” Kyle gasps.

Guy smashes his lips roughly against Kyle’s ear and growls, “You don’t want me to bend you over right here? Right in front of the kitchen window?” When Kyle shivers Guy chuckles darkly. He runs his hands greedily over Kyle’s shivering waist, down and down until he has two hands full of Kyle’s perfect ass. “Kidding, kidding,” he says softly as he starts to lift Kyle up. 

“Hey!” Kyle’s indignant squeak dissolves into a giggle, “What are you doing?”

“I’m draggin’ ya to my cave to do nasty things to ya.” Guy carries Kyle effortlessly to the bedroom and drops him onto the plush, king size bed. He drops himself onto the edge of the bed and pats his lap. 

Kyle runs his hand through his hair again and he bites his lip. 

“C’mere,” Guy beckons Kyle with a finger.

Kyle sits up on his knees, a mischievous look in his eyes. He runs his hands up and down the the front of the jacket. He locks eyes with Guy again and slowly works the jacket off of his shoulders and lets it fall to the floor. Keeping his gaze steady, he slowly crawls across the bed and lays himself carefully over Guy’s knees. 

“There you go,” Guy hums as he runs his hands up and down Kyle’s back. “This good?”

“Yeah,” Kyle sighs heavily, wriggling in Guy’s lap. He can’t decide where he wants to rest his hands.

“This okay?” Guy asks, running his hand over the generous swell of Kyle’s jean-clad cheeks. 

“Yes,” Kyle’s voice tightens and he grips the sheet with one hand and Guy’s pant leg with the other.

“Ready?”

“Oh yeah.”

Guy lays the first smack with easy pressure, enjoying the way Kyle jumps and a soft little “Ah!” Escapes his mouth. So he does it again. Kyle’s head drops and his body writhes. He’s audibly trying to stifle his sounds. Guy keeps a steady rhythm with his beginning strikes. “You like this?”

“Yeah.”

“Say it.”

“What?” Kyle looks over his shoulder, glassy eyed and genuinely confused.

“Say it for me. Tell me you like it.”

“Oh! I love it. Guy, this is so good. Please don’t stop.”

The lust that claws and churns inside of Guy brings his hand down a little harder than he meant but that hit brings a desperate sound out of Kyle that Guy knows he’ll never forget. So he does it again. 

Kyle writhes more, but he’s not trying to get away. He’s rubbing himself against Guy’s thighs. “God,” he moans, “Guy, please, please. Harder.”

“Can I,” Guy asks, tugging at the back of Kyle’s jeans. 

“Yeah, yes, yes,” Kyle chants as he helps Guy push his pants down around his thighs, leaving him in just his boxers. “Ah, fuck!” He shouts as the next strike lands. “Yeah! Fuck yeah!”

Kyle’s lost his ability to hold any sounds in and Guy’s lost between Kyle’s moans and the fleshy slaps echoing off of the bedroom walls. 

“St—still okay?” Guy manages to ask through clenched teeth. He thinks he might get off before Kyle does.

“Yes! Please! Oh, God!” Kyle’s hips keep their steady roll. His back arches and his knuckles go white. “Don’t stop, don’t stop, don’t stop.”

Guy’s palm and shoulder burn but he couldn’t stop now if the whole world was burning. He can see the muscles in Kyle’s ass clench as he drives his hips down. His entire back clenches up and all the air in his body is punched out in one delicious groan. Guy lays one last, good smack on that perky ass and digs his fingers into the abused flesh. Kyle’s groan drags out into a high, delirious sound. His arms give out and he collapses in Guy’s lap.

“Good?” Guy asks as he softly pets Kyle from the crown of his head to his tailbone like a cat.

“Yeah,” Kyle’s voice is muffled where his face is pressed into Guy’s calf.

“C’mere,” Guy chuckles, gently lifting Kyle under his armpits and urging him onto the bed. “Come lay down. Take a minute.”

Kyle struggles into place, hissing when he tries to pull his jeans up. His skin is on fire. 

“Wait here a sec.” Guy disappears into the bathroom and for a moment, Kyle feels frighteningly lonely. Guy reappears with a wet washcloth in his hand. He nudges Kyle onto his stomach and tugs the back of his underwear, “Can I?” Kyle nods weakly in response. Guy lays the cool towel over Kyle’s angry, red skin. Kyle jumps but sighs and quickly relaxes again. 

“Thank you,” Kyle whispers.

“No problem.”

“What about you?”

“Relax. If you want to, we can go another round,” Guy pushes Kyle’s sweaty bangs out of his face.

“I’d like that,” Kyle’s voice is raspy and his eyes shine with excitement. 

“Yeah? What other kinks you got, kid?”

Kyle groans and bites his lip, “That.”

“What?”

“I like when you call me kid.”

“I like where this is goin’.”

They smile at each other and Kyle’s breathing slows down. Guy folds an arm behind his head and stares at the ceiling, a content smile on his face. As Kyle’s body relaxes and the adrenaline fades he feels weirdly bad. Empty. He shifts uncomfortably, letting the towel slide off. He starts to pull his boxers and jeans back up.

“You good?”

“Yeah,” Kyle says dismissively but the light in his eyes is gone. He’s pressing his lips together and he’s very still.

“You sure?”

“Yeah Im—I don’t know. I just feel,” he struggles, hands rolling through the air as he tries to describe how he feels.

“Vulnerable?”

“Yeah. Actually,” Kyle looks at Guy finally, openly relieved. “I don’t know why. That was awesome.”

“It’s normal. C’mere,” Guy stretches his arm towards Kyle, inviting him to come close. Tentatively, Kyle scoots closer. He watches Guy’s face as he lays his head down on his friend’s shoulder.

“This okay?” Kyle asks. Guy smiles and nods as he wraps his big arm around Kyle. He lets his hand rest on Kyle’s hip. Already, Kyle is feeling warm and less lonely. He lets his arm drape over Guy’s belly. “We’re still cool?”

“Course! I love sex, kid. And I still care about’cha. We’re still friends. Relax. It’s all good.”

“It’s all good,” Kyle echoes. He wants to tell Guy he loves him but he doesn’t want to make it weird. He means it platonically and the longer he listens to Guy’s heartbeat the less lonely he feels and the more sure he is of his place in Guy’s life. 

It’s all good.

#*myfic #guykyle #peace love and guykyle

[mlobsters]

supernatural s14e18 absence (w. robert berens)

DEAN Well, hey, here's to another miraculous Sam Winchester survival. Got to say, man, if Jack hadn't have healed you…

one might say it's getting a little absurd but whatever

i have zero idea how this is gonna shake out, with the kinda accidentally killing mary because she was gonna rat him out to the boys situtaion.

DEAN You know, lately, it feels like we'd be up the creek without that kid. I mean, first, he takes care of Michael and then Nick. SAM Kind of sounds like you're bummed about it. DEAN No. "Get out of jail free" card? I'll take that.

don't think it's the case here really because killing nick seemed pretty darned justified at this point but have noticed when there is a moral quandary to be had over killing someone, it's usually someone else that actually does it these days. if blog search actual functioned, you could get a number of results for quandary :p

so the cas not telling sam and dean about jack being clearly not right has come back to bite him in the ass.

LUCIFER Yeah. I'm your, you know, subconscious or whatever. Y-You whipped me up to help you figure this out.

so does jack get a hallucifer too then? (transcript says nick but it's lucifer)

LUCIFER All right? Buddy, you killed Mary Winchester. You cannot come back from that, and you know it. All right? You've been flapping your wings all around, trying to run away from what you did, and where'd you wind up? Right here, right back to the scene of the crime. JACK No. LUCIFER Yeah. Yeah, because somewhere inside, you realize that the sooner you accept it, the easier it'll be. JACK No, it's -- It was an accident. LUCIFER Okay. Tell Sam and Dean that. I'm sure they'll understand. It's not like family isn't everything to them

subconscious makes points

music while they're searching the cabin for jack/mary/dead nick is good. reminds me of hmm. modern thriller during a spooky/unsettling scene music. lol (it's christopher lennertz and tim wynn on music this ep. confirming yet again i am scores more likely to enjoy lennertz's score vs jay gruska's)

moments like this where it's like i can see the promise of what this show could be. a scene that's genuinely unsettling. slowing down and not focusing on this breakneck knee deep plot machinations, but setting a scene where the emotional tension that we know mary is dead and we're dreading them finding her, and finding this instead. dunno. it was very effective (and the music continued to be appropriate)

CASTIEL I know you know this, Mary, but, um, Sam and Dean -- they're -- they're glad to have you back. Whatever you still have to deal with and however long it takes, you should know they're happy. I mean, finally, they don't have to be so, um, so alone. MARY Castiel. They were never alone.

um, i think that's a bit of a stretch lol. cas was not around that much, and when he was it wasn't always good. they had bobby, lost bobby. have jody but see her even less. they've been hobbling between meager support systems for a while. cas only seems to really qualify in that way visibly onscreen in the past season or two at most? they talked him up but we didn't see it much.

DEAN Might have been Lucifer. Nick was trying to bring him back. SAM Yeah, but Jack said-- DEAN Who cares what Jack said? We don't know what happened! But I swear, if he did something to her, if she is -- then you're dead to me.

well. we know dean gets over shit pretty fast when it comes to the core group all things being equal, so i imagine he'd come around in a moderate amount of time. not like cas is ultimately culpable, not like when he broke sam's wall, for instance. it was a fuckup, but would jack have done something awful inadvertently-ish even if sam and dean knew right away when cas found out he definitely was off? ehh. everyone knew he wasn't acting quite right. but all bets are off when the person getting killed is mary (or heaven forbid, sam)

DEAN No, he knew. He knew something was wrong with the kid. He knew it, and he didn't tell us! He didn't even tell us! CASTIEL I was scared. I believed in Jack for so long, I I believed that he was -- he was good. I -- I knew that he would be good for the world. And he was good for us. My faith in him, it -- it never wavered, and then I-I saw what he did. It wasn't malice. It wasn't evil. It was like Jack saw a problem, and in his mind, he just solved it with that snake. DEAN The snake?! CASTIEL What he did wasn't bad. It was the absence of good. And I saw that in him. But we were a family, and I didn't want to lose that, so I thought I could fix it on my own. Felt like it was my responsibility. So I left. And I didn't tell you. If I could go back and just -- just talk to him right then and there, I would. But I can't, Dean. I failed you. And I failed Jack. And I failed --

cas, friend. you do not have a great track record with fixing stuff on your own. but i get it. but also, if you're trying to keep your family together, gotta communicate!

gonna try to resurrect mary with rowena, ok. i didn't see that coming

JACK I killed Mary. I-It was an accident. I-I didn't mean to. I just -- I just wanted her to be quiet. I just wanted her gone, but only for a second. And I just. I thought it. It all happened so fast. I need to undo it. You need to help me undo it.

you know i was thinking about this last night. and i think about the same kind of thing fairly regularly. mary could see she had reason to be scared of jack after the cruel way he killed nick (which everyone is a lot more upset about than i anticipated but ok). yet she still wouldn't lie to him about not telling sam and dean. an unstable, infinitely powerful child, essentially. and i think about the way that some people respond to people that are being aggressive or whatever. and you know, when you're someone that has been abused (like myself) sometimes you come away with a pretty ingrained fear of anyone acting off to do anything to avoid setting them off. i know that's not everyone's experience, for sure. but that was kind of an essential survival coping mechanism for me that's carried through. it doesn't serve me well in a lot of every day social conflict potential situations, but it is one that i think can sometimes keep you from getting killed 🤪

MARY Sam, everyone here understands what you've been doing and what you've been putting yourself through. SAM Yeah, I know, but Jack's been through a lot -- you know, losing his powers.And I haven't really been there for him.Sorry, Mom. I don't mean to lay all this on you. MARY No. Are you kidding? It's nice knowing I'm not the only one with parental guilt. How much did the two of you go through when I wasn't there for you? And even when Amara brought me back and I got a second chance, things got complicated. I got complicated. SAM Mom. MARY No, I'm just saying parenting is always a struggle.

heard. it's a struggle even when not these extraordinarily complicated and bizarre situations they're in.

SAM Dean, it wasn't just Cas. It wasn't. We knew Jack was dangerous. We always knew. Long before he killed Michael. You more than anyone. I mean, from the very beginning, you knew. But, you know, we fell for him 'cause he had a good heart and a good soul. Then he didn't. And that's on me, too, by the way. I mean, I'm the one who made the call to bring him back. He didn't ask for that. I decided for him. And you warned me. DEAN No, you didn't know, okay? We didn't know. SAM Exactly. We didn't know. But -- he had become our family. You know, after Maggie and the other Hunters died I just left. Just dumped Jack on Cas and left. I knew. I mean, I knew something was gonna I just didn't know it'd be this. DEAN I did it, too. When I talked to Donatello about Jack, he said he was good as far as he could tell. But then he talked about how powerful Jack was and that he could never really be sure. And it was a warning. I just couldn't see it.

i appreciate that they're both taking accountability

well. i guess they get some closure at least, having a body. i think by rights this should be upsetting me, but it isn't? nothing like the this season's absolute disaster of jack dying originally and dean hellbent on committing suicide/eternal torture. that was like. 3 solid episodes of ugly crying my way through them.

LUCIFER Well, I warned you. It's worse -- trying and failing. There's no going back. You realize that now. Cas, Sam, Dean they're never gonna trust you again. And you know what that means. What? You can never trust them.

the flaming hoops this show will jump through to keep pellegrino around!

is that mary with the baby one new? can't recall. they've added a few here and there past several seasons

glad they kept it to just the 3 of them, writer's 2nd draft script linked on wiki

SAMUEL WINCHESTER you better have a copy of that picture elsewhere before you burn it. you have so little of her! see, there you go, that's how you made me upset. thanks, show. push straight into the weepy montage of happy mary moments

?? that felt very... forced. whole scene did to me, but that was the icing on the cake

i liked mary, but never really connected with her i don't think. kind of like bobby, but even less to go on. don't blame samantha smith in the slightest, i think it's how they wrote her. she was great at the emotions. but this episode largely left me feeling 😐

#supernatural #spnwatch #spn 14x18 #robert berens #christopher lennertz #tim wynn #spn musical score

[eroticcannibal]

I’ll just get this out of the way: I believe in transandrophobia or whatever people want to call it, I believe in listening to trans mens experiences.

BUT. I cannot stand most of the big people on here who discuss it for reasons similar to the recent post you made about how privileged women still experience violence.

I once saw a thread of trans men all saying that cis white women who fear violence and being kidnapped murdered, shouldn’t fear that, and that any cis white woman who is scared of misogynistic violence has just been brainwashed by mainstream true crime and crime shows, and a couple people said “lol they don’t want you why are you scared”.

I am a white cis girl (I’m also a trans guy but that’s not super relevant rn lol). I fully know my privilege and frequently have discussions along the subject of white privilege with friends of color. I don’t shy away from the topic.

but I have almost been kidnapped twice in the short 18 years I’ve been on this planet. One of my earliest memories is that experience in a shopping mall. Every cis girl I know, white or not, has had real life experience at least once with this kind of thing.

and when I saw that thread, it made me feel ill. To me it feels like so many other trans guys on here decided that the “being a man doesn’t make you bad” doesn’t apply to any other privileged group because they didn’t want to be seen as deniers of other forms of privilege. I also saw an entire thread where a shit ton of trans guys were literally saying that, because white cis women are the physical “vessels of the white race”, then apparently we are not at risk of domestic violence because cis white men need us to keep their dream of a white supremacist world alive. and many people responded with righteous outrage just to be dismissed as “well they are just trying to defend white women”.

the fucking rampant misogyny in these spaces is so fucking hard to deal with, and they complain all day about how people ignore issues men have, then turn around and act like one form of privilege means your other experiences of oppression don’t matter.

so long story short thank you for those posts I’ve been so ducking exhausted lately trying to find a balance between discussing transandrophobia with other transmascs, and protecting my mental health from all the misogyny in those spaces. it’s so fucking tiring.

U get it. U get it. And yeah this sickening attitude towards women is rampant in spaces that support the idea of transandrophobia (and honestly I think this most recent wave of "progressive" misogyny is squarely on trans men who believe in transadrophobia, and insay that as one of them) I wasn't sure if I was gonna call out that group specifically myself but since u bring it up!

Also I think we saw the same post cus that sounds like one of a few that set me off lol

Like im not even shocked at ur experiences there. I have experienced and seen some SHIT while playing the role of a white cis woman. And it was all normal. The women who raised me to always be on guard did that for a reason. The distrust of men among white women isnt from brainwashing, its from knowing half your friends were molested by their male relatives and seeing their mothers get beat every evening.

But also that other example you discuss... now I've not seen it in these spaces specifically but I have seen *some* people dismissing violence against white women due to something something white supremacy and just. Its truly sickening. Its evil. (And shows a fundamental misunderstanding of white supremacy, female subjugation is an intrinsic part of it).

And yeah like you say. Any time someone brings attention to any of this shit its "how dare you defend WHITE women". As if they arent still women.

And especially when the social space i occupy still overlaps with the experiences considered that of white women, when I'm facing these justified fears of violence (again) in my day to day life.... yeah. Its fucking exhausting. When the spaces that claim to support my experiences as a man dismiss my experiences and fears because those are the experiences and fears of icky white women. (When they arent even mutually exclusive categories, and even people like me and the most cis of cis women have more in common than difference)

#ppl dont touch if u arent willing to approach this with compassion

[enginire]

snowpiercer rp prompts. episode 4-6.

adapt. that's what humans do, isn't it?

systems resist change, even without their maker.

i'm just a scientist - i'm here to save the world, not change it.

i know our chances of surviving are slim at best.

i knew you'd be up.

no rest for the weary.

i want you to ask for help.

i'm not afraid to be seen together.

you just don't want to walk to work with me in the morning?

you have the privilege of seeing it that way.

i'm gonna give you a chance to make things right.

i want you to go get a gurney and some sheets. we need postmortem data. do you understand what i'm asking you?

i gave you a description of a killer - what did you do with it?

she's dead, and our killer gets his bacon and eggs.

they don't even know who they're chasing.

work it out now. work it out later - just do your freaking job.

now i've got a sense of what you do here, i thought you might have a take on it.

you know people, high and low. you know their secrets.

that would be confidential… if the answer wasn't no.

cut the shit. you have my support.

you've been stashing supplies there, right?

these people broiled the earth, then they froze her, and now they hang the spoils on their wall.

i came from nothing. i know a thing or two about class.

that anger you feel when you look at all of this? it's justified. let's used this.

alright, two things - i don't give a shit who you are, and someone up here has got a thing for chopping off dicks.

you knew he was missing and you didn't tell us?

good news first… we may have identified the killer.

all the piss and shit left in the world. you get used to the smell.

is he going to go through all of our things?

you think he was capable of something like this?

it can't come off like we have sheltered a monster.

i hear you eat people.

it keeps everyone up here scared of you… like — i'd eat a dude just to make everyone shit bricks like they do with you.

you know, you're a lot cooler smashing the system than being his dick.

morality's a moving target.

he might've been the murderer, but removing body parts… that's how he screwed up.

what do you mean he screwed up?

it's a punishment that women lay down on men.

the murderer who hid among us is dead, and a second suspect is in custody.

thanks to a successful investigation, order has been restored, and i assure you, justice will prevail.

let's put the politics down and celebrate a win.

you know i can't let you do that. you've seen too much.

a myth's a powerful thing - pray you never know the weight of it.

some of us are ready to change his terms.

it will be perilous, filthy work - more precious souls may be lost.

but we didn't come this far, suffer this much, to give in to the same tyranny that destroyed us in the first place.

all this time in here, and you still won't talk to me?

what you say in here is admissible… so our smart visitors stay quiet.

yeah, if she messes up, we both suffer.

i guess we should leave you two to celebrate.

look at us - made it three whole months before shacking up.

i was sure about you the day we met.

by tonight, this will all be over and you'll be back here with us.

stare out the window on your own time, please.

that stunt was beneath you.

you've grown calloused doing his bidding. you used to try and make a difference, too.

i am asking you to stay true to your vision.

don't make me threaten you.

you think we have a class divide now? this could blow the whole thing up.

god, i wish i could open a frigging window.

i miss the sound of rain. i miss so many things.

you just keep your head down, alright? we'll watch your back.

i guess they're his rules to change.

he chose the will of the people.

we don't have will, we have order.

you must be happy now that you're bourgeoisie.

are you gonna extort addicts for sex today?

now, you're gonna see some things that are unfamiliar to you - things like hygiene and self respect. you will hear people speaking in complete sentences. now don't punch them, don't punch their belongings, don't lick things - am i making myself clear?

maybe he turned over the wrong rock.

i've got $400 million in early investor status and a whole world of pain when it comes to my survival.

day-to-day operations… justice, resources — maybe these matters would be better handled here, where their effects are felt.

he mostly just stared at us coldly - which, i won't lie, is very effective.

i was as much her hostage as i was his.

send a message that justice is not reserved for the rich.

don't take this personally, huh? and don't get caught.

so you go ahead with your show trial and prepare to suffer the consequences - because you're messing with my blood line.

the confusion… the ache in my guts, the fear - that's love, isn't it?

he said fear makes people honest.

i was silent when i should have spoken, but he gave his life to save humanity from the darkness that almost swallowed me whole.

well, that changes the calculus, doesn't it?

there's no choice - it's what she asked for in the worst case.

you need to hide him.

keep your head on a swivel, because trouble comes sideways.

to climb, someone else falls. to gain, someone else loses.

have all the fun jobs, man - and you don't even have to follow protocol.

you can shag the help too, right?

maybe you should find a girlfriend.

they'd suffer along with the rest of us - they're putting the gun to their own head.

why would they punish you?

careful what you wish for, huh?

you should've left me out of it! then all of this rage that you feel, all of the blame - then it would've been pure!

when they discover he's missing, this'll be the first place they look.

there can be no more contact - it's for your own good.

i need to tell you something, in case anything happens to me.

he's an illusion to keep the rest of us in line.

christ, what a picture.

tissue damage is limited. as for your melon, it could be days before the fog clears.

i'm not cleared to know.

do you know - if what you did comes out, you'll lose your job, probably an arm too and your girlfriend? well, she'll just drop you like the piece of rough shit that you are.

so here's what i want: every last thing i can get.

there's fun to be had here, and i plan to have some.

and now we all know you're as dirty at they come, you're gonna have to play along, aren't ya?

she was a warrior. she fought like hell. and she loved you kids more than anything.

you're the head of the family now.

i wanna do something for them - for everybody. lift spirits.

fancy meeting you here.

we should run away to tahiti together, you know?

there comes a point where you can't stay on the sidelines any longer.

you did all this by yourself?

i think maybe you should be teaching me.

i feel like i've lived so many lives, died so many times.

i don't have your courage.

we're fighters. we protect the things we love.

he's gonna be fine - it's just gonna take time.

i might never get another chance like this.

we can talk about this tomorrow - make a plan, okay?

lucky you. you get to put on some grubbies.

you cannot spare the rod with these people, you know - you've got to hammer down.

the whole goddamn human experiment - it can be undone by a bloom of mould.

they were selected for diversity, for health, for skills - to give us a fighting chance on the other side!

you decide who lives and who dies.

you don't know the specs, and i need you on diagnostics.

i designed her. i'll fix her.

i'm not gonna stand by while you abuse people.

these are my last words: i won't let you extort me and you're a dick.

i don't get you - so righteous on the small stuff, but pretty darn flexible when it comes to high crimes.

you shouldn't have locked me out!

don't you ever feel like you're being kept in the dark?

i wanna show you something you haven't seen in a long, long time.

i know it seems like this might be the end, but it's not - it can't be.

we are going to make it. i just know it. we just will.

find someone and hold them close, and please, try to stay warm.

it's gonna come out, what you did, whether i spill it or not.

you should, uh. go find your girl.

i should've shown up for you last night.

what if i'm not the person you think i am?

the celebration will end, but their grievances won't.

well, it's nice to see you back among the living.

keep the door locked and, if anyone knocks, pretend you're not here.

#rp sentence meme #rp sentence prompts #rp prompts #rp sentence starters #MEME.

[princess-of-the-corner]

So Idk how this is gonna sound but like. Re: Endeavor's arc in the TPP Plotline.

I think one thing I'm having fun with is just. As soon as he processes the entire "Toya is alive, but is now a villain, and this is my fault' thing.

He just. He just stops fucking caring about his old ambitions. It's just. Everything he did and everything he fucked up and everything he's lost to his goal just hits him like a goddamn truck.

And there's nothing to unpack about it! There's little for him to justify at this point because he's spent the last twenty-odd years justifying shit! But now he's slammed with it and cannot find it in himself to make excuses like he once did.

So it's the quickest heel-face turn to 'I'm not going to be an asshole'. There's still a struggle to be a /good/ father, as that's a hell of a learning curve and it's hard to reconcile with 3/4 of the kids being adults(and Shoto is almost one too), but he's very quick to pick up on cutting out the worst of his behavior and trying to step back from being a dick.

And I think one of the most.... interesting things to come from this is no longer caring about the old goals. Things just click and why the hell did 'being the #1 Hero' ever matter more to him than his own fucking wife and children? Like yeah this family only exists thanks to that initial goal but holy shit right? They matter more now like they fucking should have in the first place.

But this also has the wonderful side effect of him not giving a singular fuck about the #1 Hero Ranking. Like yes there's some bitter 'god I so do not deserve this thanks to everything I did to get it'(but given the situation he can't just step down because there is a Greater Good to think about).

Yet. Composed behavior is no longer tied to what could hit his ranking. Like fuck off he's gonna risk things to protect his kids now. Ranking be damned like it should have been.

(which is one of the things that does make the kids come around to the idea that he is changing. It's not just him being nicer. It's him putting them above the goals he once had.)

But also sometimes becomes funny because yes once he realizes gay people exist he's not going to care that his PR team is about to have a field day he's gonna make sure the kids got the support he should've given them in the first place.

Side note:

before anyone gets on my ass about how I'm handling giving him a reformation arc:

Remember what I said the other day about how all four of the siblings are a reflection of irl reactions to this situation? That goes triple when we're talking about writing fiction and wish fulfillment fantasies.

Some people want catharsis in tearing the man down. Other people find comfort in a man who can change for the better. Both are valid and I've played with both before. This time I am going with the latter.

#tpp au

[saraminia]

Dead dove, do not eat. Opinions™ ahead.

Apropos nothing, let's talk about The Wingman and why it all went to shit for me with that episode. I keep trying to analyze and understand why I just can't get on the threesome train with y'all (and Dan). I'm sorry, that sounds very bad lmao.

Anyway, I think one reason it bothers me so much, is that I don't think enough of their individual growth and growth as a couple, is shown to us, for such a decision to be justified. We have to fill in too many blanks ourselves. How did they really get from those little bursts of healthy jealousy to "let's go fuck your ex".

Moreover, why was this plotline necessary? It wasn't that funny. It didn't develop their relationship. Why was the communication outside Jake's door so bitchy. It sounded to me like they were not at all ready for what they had come there to do. They hadn't had the necessary conversations and they were not free of all uncertainty and jealousy. It was like "Oh, you wore that shirt. You never wore it for me" and "Oh, you wore leather scented moisturizer. You never wore it for me." That's what it sounded like to me.

Actually, maybe that's the problem. We were never shown them going through that much trouble to seduce or offer that extra to each other. In fact, when it comes to sex between them, we never got any hint of them ever having sex after their first night. There were very vague allusions to it in the form of a few sex jokes, but there was never any indication shown that they even had a sex life tbh. They always slept in their pyjamas, only a head touching a shoulder. There was no plot line, that would have involved them going to have or having had sex. In fact, only time there was any sex happening, it was between David and another guy, on his wedding day no less.

I might as well admit it right now, that that pisses me off, too, but I made my peace with it fast and just kept reminding myself that this is a comedy show, it's all for the laughs. But still, we sure as hell have never seed David roll his eyes in ecstacy over how good he's had it with Patrick.

That's one of the biggest things bothering me. Only time we see them explicitly going to have sex, is with Jake. If we had been made aware that they have a good and satisfying sex life just the two of them, maybe then I could have more easily accepted this choice to make them want to try a threesome. But as it is, it came totally out of nowhere. It now seems just like they're doing it 'cause they're unsatisfied with their sex life. And that bothers me. Maybe it shouldn't. Maybe I should be fine with them needing other people to satisfy themselves sexually. But I'm not.

Unfortunately I need sex to mean something in fiction. I need it to be an expression of the characters feelings for each other. I need it to be emotionally driven. Now there was this strange dichotomy between their obvious love and devotion for each other and sex. As if sex was something completely separate from love and affection. Every time we see David have sex, it's without emotional attachment; Stevie, Jake, Sebastien, the masseur. Sure, there is that one time with Patrick, but that's it. Then it's all love but no sex. Cause sex apparently is not important in a relationship. It's just something you do for fun with whomever. He even tries to push Patrick to do the same, to go out with Ken and try it out with another guy, but Patrick is not able to. Because he only wants David, because of his strong feelings for David. How did that guy, who wanted physical intimacy to be only theirs, turn into a "yes, let's fuck whomever" -guy. It makes no sense to me. It's ooc.

And this is not about being prude or not being sex positive. I very much am sex positive. God knows I am all for it. But I do not believe many relationships can survive a threesome, unless you are truly polyamorous and free of all (very natural!) feelings of jealousy. There will be so many complicated feelings involved, I don't understand how it could be worth it.

Also Jake is not that hot. It's so unrealistic that Patrick would be all flustered and dtf immediately after meeting him (ok they met once before, but he certainly wasn't into him then!).

Idk I'm just talking in circles. But I'm not really even trying to make any point here. I just felt like talking about this, since recently I've been reminded about this threesome thing again. I guess ultimately my question is: why? Why would they choose to do that? Why would they want to? I know it's just as easy to counter with: Why not? But I can think of a hell of a lot more reasons not to do it.

God I wish I could talk to Dan about this. To hear in his own words why he chose to do this. Was it all for the laughs or is it just that important to him to push this sex positive agenda. That sounded more negative than I meant it, but I don't know how else to say it. I get the feeling that this sharing of your sexuality freely and generously (with whomever, regardless of whether you're in a relationship with someone or not), is a very important theme for him. Maybe it's because he's gay and the whole history of queer people being told our sexuality is bad and wrong and sinful and all that crap. I'd just like Dan to explain his viewpoint to me. If only.

In any case, I like monogamy and like to think relationships and intimacy is something a little bit sacred at least. There should be that something that is only the two of yours. Something that is private and not shared with others. That it's something special. Something to cherish.

Tbqh the way David and Stevie's relationship is discussed in this fandom as being very emotionally intimate and them being soulmates and basically not functioning without each other and the way there's this unquestioned unyielding support for this threesome story line, I often feel like what about Patrick? Doesn't he deserve more? Doesn't he deserve to have something that is just theirs? What is his role in David's life? What is the need in David's life that he fulfills? What is the point of a marriage if you're so freely sharing yourself with other people, that there is nothing left that's just for your husband?

Okay, I've tired myself out now. I've got nothing more for now. Until next time! 😘

#i guess i just can't understand that i have not once heard even one person in this fandom to agree with me #negativity #i guess? #discourse #fandom wank #riikka talks

[hymenpolice]

i forever get 2nd hand embarrassment for my fellow adults who say shit like "oh kids y'all should go outside and play with other kids instead of being online! looking at inappropriate stuff online as a teen messed me up so baad!" like... way to be patronising and also that sounds like a you problem, full offense. well, probably partially "adults in your life" problem for not teaching you to manage your media consumption to your maturity level but ultimately a you problem.

i mean i am concerned for the kids as well specifically bc apparently adults are leaving them high key to their own devices online because "the kids know about the internets better than we adults do now, loool" but growing up around social media really doesn't prime you to know healthy boundaries online etc. but being whiny and patronising isnt gonna help ffs.

(i'm also concerned in the sense that it kinda seems like kids are trying to be so much more mature at a younger age now, and it's kinda sad. but to be honest those of us who got to be kids well into their teens might have been outliers on a global scale and on the wider time scale of humanity. the lucky ones.)

one thing that does rly get on my nerves abt the kids tho is them not keeping to themselves about consuming content not aimed at them. i for sure read 17+ fanfic at age 13 but did i feel the need to tell the author this? NO! If i read smth not meant for me and it confused me, that was my own problem. i didn't go around making myself the online adults' problem... nor did i shove myself into 18+ spaces. but kids nowadays sure do. as if it's the whole internet's job to be their parents instead of just their actual parents' job. adults online by default haven't consented to parenting other people's kids. and if you can't manage your consumption of stuff to your own maturity level, you should ask your actual parents for help. maybe ask them to install some apps that limit what kinda stuff you can look at, if you can't trust your own judgement.

although tbh that isn't really just a kids issue. i know that a lot of people can't manage their consumption of content online to match their own ability to cope, even as adults. some even seek things out on purpose, either as a method of emotional self-harm, or for the addictive feeling of justified outrage. or both. maybe they should ask their parents to monitor their internet usage, too............

(on the other hand, there's a lot to say about 'is this for my comfort, or yours?' a lot of stuff adults want to protect kids from is more for the adults' comfort. protecting kids from gayness. transness. cussing?? how babies are made? the correct words for genitals? some giants of intellect are going around calling genitals "front-butt"…........ i was in a way lucky that i grew up in a family that bred animals, so even tho i didnt get basic sex ed until whenever they give it at school, i had an idea of how babies were made because of how they were made with dogs and horses. the most traumatic single thing from my childhood was my hyperreligious grandma freaking out about me going to sauna with my dad at 12, saying i was too old to do so, which in turn freaked out me. idk all i'm saying is. the odds are that it's the excessive "protecting" from everything, and the adults freaking out about you being exposed to stuff, that has hurt you. it probably isn't that you read some explicit gay fanfic at age 13 that fucked you up. or your same-age cousins lending you porn comics in your early teens. or your cousin showing you 2 girls 1 cup a couple of years later. my gma freaking out about the bathing was infinitely more traumatic.)

(this is obviously not about actual traumatic stuff like someone experiencing csa. this is about of your own volition looking at stuff not geared for your age group.)

[jollyreginaldrancher]

Yellowjackets S2 E4

Ok I'm positive this episode we'll finally find out what happened to Van. We are seeing her in a flashback straight from the bat.

I think she's looking for a sign or some answers. Honestly my guess is that she needs a distraction to keep going. Like things are so bad she needs something to distract her from how bad things are and she's trying to find some deeper meaning in Taissas's sleepwalks.

On the one hand it was sweet that she was looking after her but even that has taken a turn lately towards the dark with Van using her sleepwalking to justify her belief in the supernatural so she doesn't have to just admit they're alone out there and just had a shitty bout of luck, and they're not being manipulated by some deity.

These flashbacks are flashing back to the woods though, and not some happier times, like Laura Lee's finding Jesus moment or Ben's flashing back to being with his boyfriend, which leads me to hope that Van is still alive and Taissa isn't heading to visit her grave or anything along those lines.

I am positive she's being led straight to Van though. Like 100% sure that this is where she's going. Why did she leave the car door unlocked and the window wide open though?

Oh and we're back to Shauna's family drama again. If I have to watch another random scene before we find out what happened to Van I'm going to throw a chair.

...

Is this what they call edging? Like we are so fucking close. I'm positive we find out in this episode. They've kept us waiting for TWO SEASONS! If not in this episode then when? This is torture 😭😭😭

Fine, I'll play your game. I won't be happy about it but I'll play it. I just know they won't fucking show us Van until the very edge. I mean end. I just know they're going to keep me waiting from one cliffhanger to the next. 😤😤😤😤😤😤😤😤😤😤😤😤😤😤😤😤

They're so evil for this.

Anyway I don't trust or like the new guy Misty is hanging out with.

Is the coach really trying to start shit with a cabin full of cannibals?

Is Nat trying to compete with Lottie because she's banking on finding that Elk? Cause if she doesn't have a game plan here this is a horrible idea. We know she's not going to die but it could very easily have swung that way for her.

Lottie is definitely shady but I don't think she intentionally killed Trevor. I think Nat is just trying to find someone to blame. Is her new cult shady? Yeah. But you get the impression that she has good intentions and a cult personality she can't help. Not that she wants power or control, but that she's just given those things due to her personality.

At least adult Lottie seems to acknowledge her 'visions' are just hallucinations. Maybe they harken to some feelings but they're not visions of the future like the girls believed.

So everyone's just putting Lottie up on this pedestal and I don't think she really wants to be there so will she intentionally flub the contest to get them to stop putting all that pressure on her or does she feel like she has to try out of necessity?

The relationships seem to be really affected by this whole cult that's forming. Van and Tai for the most part seem to be split right down the middle because of it. I wonder if that's the reason they ended up parting ways, or if it was something that happened after their rescue. Like maybe they drifted apart or one of them was forced in the closet or removed from their town and they just lost touch. Whatever it was I'm sure it's gonna be heart-wrenching. These two have already weaseled their way into my heart and it's gonna suck so bad to see them parted.

At least there's still hope for them in the future. I am sure Tai is heading to see Van as we speak, so with her marriage ending, maybe they can kiss and make up and love happily ever after. Yeah I know how deluded it sounds but I just really want that to happen.

I genuinely do not care about Callie sneaking around.

The way that guy with Misty eats should be criminal.

See, I thought Tai was walking to the closest bus stop but she was going to WALK ALL THE WAY TO THE LOVE OF HER LIFE? Now THAT is commitment. IDEC anymore, I would go to war for these two.

That one girl studying for a test is as deluded as I am.

Is the mouse gonna be friend or food?

If they send them out to compete to find good and one of them finds Javi do they count that or?

People in movies and tv cut themselves way too easily. It took me fifteen minutes to psyche myself up to try one of those diabetes blood sugar reading things and that just pokes you on the finger.

The 14th Gilly is the only acceptable distraction at this point but can we go back to Tai and Van though?

No. We're back to Callie's shit again 😤

Honestly I'm as sceptical as Taissa but sometimes you just have to nod your head and go with the flow. This might mean nothing to hee but it clearly means something to her girlfriend.

I just think she could afford to be a little more supportive.

Van isn't crazy she's just trying to find answers and meanings in a shitty situation because she's scared and this could make her feel a little safer. And honestly Tai owes her a LOT. Van blindly followed her out on that expedition that got her MAULED. I think Taissa owes her the benefit of the doubt on this.

I'm getting tired of the coach's flashbacks. They're not really bringing anything new to the table. We get it. He's traumatised and this is his form of escapism. This just feels like more filler to distract us from Nat's capture and Tai's Odyssey back to her wife. Not her actual wife but the one she forgot to take her heart back from after the breakup.

Nat, take the fish

She actually did 🥺

I love her 🥹

Funny how she went from trying to kill this girl to trying to protect her and maybe projecting some of her own family trauma as well.

Oh no, Misty's gonna miss Nat now because of that setback.

I swear if they credit Lottie with the moose dying I'm gonna scream.

Misty's practical. I'm sure she was only siding with Lottie's group out of necessity. I'm so glad she's going along with Nat's plan right now. I really hope they can pull it off though because that's going to be even harder with the ice and the water weight.

There's no way she just found another plane.

Oh no, it's Laura Lee's plane 🫢

How the fuck did Leonard survive? He was one of the first things to catch fire. Is Lottie seeing things? Wait, did Laura Lee actually survive? There is no way. She has to be seeing things.

Yeah she's definitely seeing things right now

Is she hearing the theme song too or is it just us?

Aww my babies eating and having fun 🥹

Lottie is down bad for Laura Lee

I don't see Jackie, is she behind Misty or something like that?

Wait, is Lottie freezing to death like Jackie?

Laura Lee saved her life. Lottie is really really down for her.

That was so hard to watch. The cinematography was amazing but damn that was so soul-crushing

I'm glad Nat isn't suicidal anymore... At least right now.

And Misty continues to be goated

But can we go back to Taissa already, pretty please?

If you're annoyed by me constantly asking about Van and Tai, just imagine how annoyed I was when I was watching and waiting for a semblance of progress on that front.

Yeah he's DEFINITELY out to get her. It's not a coincidence that she would put on that "birds of the tropics" playlist while he put on something with cats. That's visual storytelling at its finest. Is he very similar? Yes. But is he also a threat to Misty? YES. I do not trust him.

As much as I love Shauna we are so overdue on an update about Taissas's trip that I just don't care right now. If it's not about the Nat/Lottie competition and it's not about Van and Taissa I just don't care right now.

These people are using up the whole kitchen just to make a salad or whatever?

Funnily enough, I too was about to have a bath just now, but got distracted, so this is the one in a million time I can actually relate to Nat. The scene was cute though and I guess I kind of see a possible new ship forming here with Nat and Lottie. Like, I can see the appeal. They have that 'opposite side of the tracks' dynamic and they're also sort of rivals like Shauna and Jackie. I just prefer modern day Misty and Nat to the Lottie and Nat of the past.

There's definitely some symbolism with that queen of hearts having her eyes blacked out. Does it stand for Taissa sleepwalking or Lottie's visions or maybe another character who just doesn't see things like the rest of them, like Nat? Like, they consider her 'blind' to Lottie's thing so they blacked out the eyes and the card stands for her? Or is it a dead character like Jackie or Laura Lee?

Also is the card real? Did Nat put it there? Or is it another dream?

Lottie is regressing, isn't she?

I mean they're all regressing to their teen selves but Lottie is like going back to her cultish beliefs? Of like whatever it was they believed in the forest.

Tell me Van and Taissa aren't about to find Javi

Holly shit, he's alive?

Was he the one leaving all those carvings then?

And stealing the food?

I knew they were gonna use this to double down on the whole Lottie being a psychic thing.

Nat and Shauna better haul ass before they get blamed for Javi getting lost and for trying to convince Trent that his brother was dead.

Taissa is fucked too. Now Nat is absolutely convinced that her sleepwalking has some higher purpose.

Oh my god though are we finally going to meet her adult self? I think I saw her in the credits and I've been waiting for this moment for over a season now, and I'm so excited!!!

Taissa really spent the whole episode trying to get to her 🥹 at least one whole day passed. She's spent hours walking driving and riding a truck to get to Van 🥺

The way she smoothed her hair back self consciously 😭

That hopeful smile!

The rainbow flag 😅

SHE KNEW! SHE FUCKING KNEW! SHE RECOGNISED HER INSTANTLY! 😭😭😭😭😭

This show is messing with my heart. I'm gonna go cry in my room for a while because they are so perfect

Agskfhsgskebedj

#yellowjackets #mine #thoughts #speculation

[delusion-of-negation]

I had the most vivid dream, and I just realised I kinda ranted all this without a read more so I'm editing it to add one lmao sorry for that

anyway, it was fucked up. so I was winning a debate with a woman on youtube, and I was wearing a mask- like one of those demon-ish ones, it was made to look like metal over my eyes with little horns on top. and the woman eventually got pissed with how the debate was going, and started making fun of me for dying and shit. and I just let her go off for a bit. and after- I said it was five minutes, but the ensuing drama informed me it was like three minutes and forty seconds- I muted her mic and said that I wouldn't tell the internet this shit if it'd hurt my feelings, and she was only pulling that crap because she could only get three concurrent viewers sitting there in a dress barely above the tip of her chode, so she was just trying to generate outrage. she switched right away to play the victim, as soon as I turned her mic back on. and called it sexual harassment. which I laughed at, because obviously it was just insulting what she was literally doing. and yes, I know that she was cartoonishly mean 'cause my brain literally made her up to be the villain- so obviously she clipped it and put it on twitter. having never even seen my face in full, people called me cis-passing, so obviously too privileged to say that, so I said the only passing I'm doing is away. and it wasn't even a particularly big drama, but then this guy covered it, and his chat was like "to be fair she did make fun of [them] for dying" after it became obvious that he hadn't seen what happened before (the chat and the streamer called me "him" to make it sound worse that I was "sexually harassing a woman"). he said that doesn't justify it, but eventually he got me on to "talk about it" (ie farm content). and after a short exchange, I said that tbf she started the exchange of insults then pussied out when either a) she realised she'd brought a knife to a gun fight, or b) she got the big dramatic clip she wanted. and he said "yes or no: do you think there's anything somebody can do that makes it morally okay to sexually harass them?" because of course we were going the "it's victim blaming" route. and I started to clarify a little that I didn't accept the framework (the moralising or that I sexually harassed anyone), but that if we- he interrupted to say that it's a simple yes or no. so I was like "I was getting to that, if we call what I said-" "it's a yes or no question" "sure" "it's yes or no" "do you know what a synonym is?" and that was a Whole Thing. so then, obviously, the question of "why aren't you saying that about this man?" comes up, "you're not wearing a dress or mocking my disabilities" and so then he objects to the framing of "mocking my disabilities". speechless. woke myself up. still mad about this. I am legit frustrated. plus my brain blue-balled me on calling him a cunt. like, she spent almost four minutes mocking me dying and that is not ableism, but me saying chode is sexual harassment? cunt shit. none of these people are real and I want to hit them all with sticks.

edit: should probably clarify I passed out at 10am (yes am) after multiple cups of coffee, having not taken my meds, watching an argument on youtube - this didn't come entirely out of nowhere.

[princess-pill-enjoyer]

Passed out off a morning dose and woke up to the sweet sight of an email from my old uni 🙃

I thought I settled that for a while as I said I didn't have the money for that and the lady said it was fine. Buuuut apparently that had a time limit as well so they now want me to pull $400 out my ass or they're more than likely gonna send that shit off to collections

Part of me doeent even care. It ain't like I'm going to jail over 2k and I have literally nothing of value. No car. No house. Annnd no money. Sooo yeh have fun tryna get yall shit lmao. But I know that's a pretty stupid way've looking at it. Ruining my credit this early on probably ain't s great idea.

Ah. This sucks. My dad really doesn't want to drive me around cause of how much gas is now, the work from home shit he and my stepmom are doing is having me wait a month for some dumb junk with my mic, had to turn down two different jobs due to my dad deciding they're not for me.. bruh. Atp. I'd just walk to work. It'd probably at least be an hour long but. Fuck it at this point. Only thing is I live in one of the most infamous places for human trafficking so I'd definitely have to stay alert and try to go on different routes here and there to not make my routine as obvious

I probably woulda been able to float by for another month or so if my dad and stepmom would've paid me back. They owe me like $500 and half that comes from some shit they borrowed a year ago now. Plus, i accidentally eavesdropped on them grabbing my dad's phone instead of mine. They apparently been borrowing a lot from soneone else as well soo yeah even if they did have the money i dont think they have that to spare rn

The other option woulda been to take out extra on my student loan but my mom already took the excess out so I'd have to apply for a whole new loan. If I were still in school that'd be no problem but my incident in April makes me hesitant to make big commitments like that. I was so close to ending my shit just off owing 7k but a whole new semesters worth of debt just for me to possibly fail again sounds like a tragedy waiting to happen lol

Sigh. Days like this are so hard. I used to stick around because of an age goal I set for myself which sometimes felt like my only motivation. But it's just like nowadays I'm long past every age goal I've set and the plan was stay around until it started being inconvenient/not fun to be. Annd as of now it is looking mighty inconvenient. It makes me question why I'm even trying anymore. I never wanted to be here for this exact reason you know?

I feel like I'm just here atp. What am I working towards anymore? What do I even like to do? Do I honestly even like my hobbies or do I just like the distraction from my head? Even if everything fixed itself in the future and I started living a normal stable life, would it justify ignoring my damn near lifelong wish to not be here?

I'm gonna try to get R's attention and make sure she's not too fucked up then take a gram and head to bed. I am not mentally alright enough to have those questions circulating rn

HA apparently if I don't poof $400 up by Monday they're charging me damn near $600 extra

I am. Done. I just wanna sleep and not wakeup atp. I'm so done. I never wanted to be here in the first place and now I gotta drag myself out of an addiction, get over an unrequited love, find a job that fits my dad's parameters, pay off a mysterious 2k AND my 15k of loans. What the fuck. I never signed up for this and I would've ended my shit before my stupid fucking age goal had I known things would go to shit this quickly. I'm tired of feeling horrible for not wanting to do anything. I'm so tired of fighting myself to do the barest minimums and having it not be enough time and time again. I'm so fucking tired of all this up and down. God like. One day I'm in one of the best schools for engineering with hella open house money and the next I'm a fucking basement dwelling dropout with no money and no real desire to go out and do the shit that'll MAKE ME MONEY. And to top it off I'm fucking addicted to otc allergy medicine that is literally bottom of the barrel to the point that even WITH it being so accessible everyone knows how shit it is and leaves it alone. But not me ofc. My dumbass just had to screw up shit further. What is my problem at this point. This is my fault. I can't keep staying in this stupid limbo of barely doing anything but not having the guts to make that a reality. Atp I'm either gonna have to pick on or yhe other. My money's on the second but we'll see :)

#vent #update

[stellocchia]

Since I really enjoyed yesterday's stream I decided to do one of my overly long analysis on it

So, here's my analysis of (DSMP LORE) Healthy Competition

Dialogues will be color-coded as usual, so here's what I used: Phil, Wilbur, Ranboo

As always I am incapable of brevity, so everything's under the cut

The stream starts with a conversation between Phil and Wilbur in which Wilbur admits that he hasn't been to visit Phil in a while, which makes Phil's later threat about throwing him out feel that much more ridiculous since Wilbur clearly doesn't really live with him either way...

"Alright, it's got one for Phil, one for Ranboo, and one for Techno. Is that all that live here? Just you three?" "Yep, just us three, just chilling"

The only reason why I'm singling this out is that it was right after the mention of Techno's birthday and Wilbur was pointing at the seats occupied by the 4 members of the Syndicate so it feels slightly weird that Niki wasn't mentioned at all. But also it's technically not a lie, she doesn't live there and she only comes around for the Syndicate meetings.

Another thing to add is that Wilbur did notice the chest Ranboo left for him and consciously decided to ignore it.

"I must admit I've come to you with a bit of a- a bit of a proposition. You're into propositions Phil? Are you a bit of a 'propositions' kinda guy?" "Oh, depends, depends. You- you've had some pretty... let- let's just say, uh- not- not a great track record on propositions that you've had in the past" "Alright... I mean, I'm trying to move past that"

I wonder what exactly Phil is referring to here. Because, like, Wilbur did bad things, don't get me wrong, but what's his track record with "propositions" in particular? Because he isn't talking about "Tommy, let's be the bad guys" here since he doesn't know about that. Is he talking about Wilbur founding L'Manburg? But then again, I don't think Wilbur interpreted it that way. I think that, from Wilbur's reaction, he clearly interpreted it as a jab at him exploding L'Manburg (which is the one thing he's trying to move past) which would be extremely hypocritical from Phil since he did the exact same thing but worse.

Also, I really do think that Wilbur is trying to move forward. He's lonely and he has the lowest possible opinion of himself so it doesn't feel weird that he'd want to move on. He isn't putting the work in it right now and he hasn't really changed, but he does seem to want to (though I think he may not know how).

"He [Quackity] didn't seem afraid of me, which is cool. Not many people- I mean you don't seem afraid of me. You aren't afraid of me, are you Phil?" (little look into Wilbur's mind and his fear of isolation once again. And this is fear of isolation, he's worried that other people are afraid of him and therefore are only waiting for him to step out of line so that all their fears would be confirmed)

"'Cause I'm not afraid of you [Phil]" (bold words for someone who spent who knows how long lying to his dad because of a crippling fear of disappointment...)

"Technoblade spent his entire time taking down the establishments, what he left is, as predicted, a power vacuum for a new establishment to come in" (in case it wasn't obvious, Wilbur is not the biggest fan of anarchy. And he actually got this one criticism spot on, indeed all taking down L'Manburg did was getting 4 new governmental-like structures to sprout in its place)

"Phil, I want to make a burger van" *Phil sighs and walks away* (I'm more sure now that Phil really meant "creating L'Manburg" as Wilbur's bad track record with propositions)

Wilbur repeating 4 times that he has no ulterior motive with the burger van managed to make me think the exact opposite. That said that ulterior motive may just be to create a safe little home for himself and Tommy for all we know honestly. Also, the whole thing with Phil trying to convince his grown-ass kid to go play with the neighbor kid and Wilbur throwing a tantrum in response was hilarious...

"If he's [Ranboo] shit you gotta come help me okay? If he's shit you've gotta come be burger boy with me, okay?" (he still is mistrustful to an extreme and pretty childish admittedly)

"Why is he [Phil] treating me like a kid?! Why is he treating me like a little baby?" (remembering how Wilbur treated Fundy I think it may be a family problem)

Another interesting thing to point out is that Wilbur was openly scared of the spider attacking him here, and fights it off, but he doesn't move away from the explosion later on and he didn't move away from the exploding creepers last stream. Other people already made this connection, but I do think it may be a sort of way to punish himself. Specifically, it's brought up later on that he thinks he got off easy for what he did, so he's using what he hurt others with (explosions) to hurt himself now as a sort of punishment for that. Which is another indication of just how much his stay in Limbo didn't help with his mental health.

"Am I being- is this [Ranboo having both cows and wheat] a setup?" (the paranoia never left)

"Ranboo I'm gonna go out on a limb here: do- do you wanna be friends?" "Su-sure yeah, I don't see why not" (I think that at this point it was still just Wilbur following along with what his dad told him to do and trying to find out more about Ranboo. That does seem to change later down the line)

"And then we decided that it [the 'cookie' outpost] was too much trouble so we kinda just left it" (So we have confirmation that the cookie outpost was abandoned)

"We're not gonna annoy Quackity" "That's good" "We can't annoy- we can't annoy him because we're simply put- we're simply put gonna be making...- I got the real estate! He's giving me the area and we're gonna be making a competing business"

Wilbur says this as if he wasn't perfectly aware that this would annoy the sh*t out of Quackity. As if the point of it wasn't exactly to annoy Quackity. Or well, annoying him isn't the end goal, it's just the means to an end. We don't know the actual end goal (though I think Wilbur still wants to either be let into Las Nevadas or actually instate a rivalry between them as he said, one of the two).

"We [he and Quackity] were a part of the same cabinet during New L'Manburg or whatever" "Cabinet?" "Yeah a cabinet is like-" "Was this- was this with Tubbo?" "Yeah yeah" (...) "So you were part of the old L'Manburg? I didn't know that actually, I thought you were a bit of an independent"

Once again: Wilbur is missing A LOT of knowledge. He wasn't aware that New L'Manburg had a cabinet and he wasn't aware that Ranboo was ever part of the country either. He has a lot of misconceptions about what happened during the time he was dead so it really shouldn't be a surprise to anyone that his views on a lot of things are as warped as they are. Wilbur is getting to his conclusions with an incomplete and sometimes wrong set of data.

"Do you dislike anyone Ranboo?" "Not too much I don't think. I mean there are other people I don't, like, agree with what they've done of course, but I think that everyone is just a product of what they've gone through and everything so if you understand that then you understand the person!"

There is nothing inherently wrong with Ranboo's reasoning here. It's true that most people are a result of their environment and, once you understand what they've been through you can understand them better as a person. It's also fine that he personally doesn't want to hold grudges. But that way of thinking isn't applicable to those who have been hurt by others, sure they can reach an understanding, but an understanding of a person doesn't justify shit and doesn't change shit unless that person works towards repairing old broken relationships. It just all sounds like a nice way of thinking about things in theory, but in practice, it just takes away responsibility from those who have wronged others to fix things and moves it to those who have been wronged. (Ranboo isn't advocating for everyone to think that way though, but I know the fandom will).

Either way, they arrive in Las Nevadas and Wilbur talks about how their place doesn't benefit the consumer and puts down 3 signs.

"I've been trying to think of a name for it [his and Tommy's area], I'm thinking about 'Paradise'"

There are two possible reasons for the name that I can think of:

1) It's in reference to Las Nevadas itself and how Las Nevadas is based on Las Vegas, the famous city of sin

2) It could be a reference to Tommy insistently calling Las Nevadas Paradise in the last stream and Wilbur trying to convince him that their place is the true Paradise

Wilbur does decide to make the Burger Van right at the border which really feels like a very obvious provocation. The other thing is that he makes it clear that he wants the van to be red and white which could be a random choice, but really feels like a reference to Tommy (since they are famously his colors) or an imitation of their opposition. Or both considering how much Tommy liked the restaurant of the opposition and the fact that Wilbur is still trying to convince him to stay.

"I'm not very fond of blue" (at this point it's obvious that Wilbur has quite a bit of pent-up animosity against Ghostbur. I wonder if it is because it still feels like people liked the ghost more than him...)

"Like, the Cookie Shop, I don't even know if it was a cookie shop, to begin with, because it was a little... fortified if I'm entirely honest, I realize that now" "Really?" "Yeah did you not see- oh wait- that giant stone structure?" (Ranboo really did fail to realize that the cookie shop was actually a military outpost, huh?)

"See, I like Tubbo. He's strong-headed, he doesn't let people push him around, you know?" (this is both an interesting change in what he thinks of Tubbo if he actually thinks that and further confirmation that Wilbur isn't a fan of people he considers to be 'followers')

"Why do you claim that you're so 'peaceful' and 'neutral' and yet somehow appear in almost every conflict this server's had since I died?" (since I saw people claiming this is manipulation already, just know that it isn't. He's just confused because, admittedly, Ranboo is a confusing guy and Wilbur doesn't really know him at all)

"Ranboo, why did you come to help me?" (...) "And then also I just think, you know... you can, you know- I think- I think you're an alright person, you know? So I wanna- I did kinda wanna get off on a better foot with you then what happened-" "Why?" "Just because I don't really like having the thought that people don't really like me" "Nonononono not the bit about the right foot, the 'why don't you think I'm a bad person'" "Well I mean, I think that you did bad things, but like, I think that you also went through things that made you that way and then I also think that you've changed now (...) but I think that now you've- apparently you've been away long enough that I think that if anyone goes away for that long eventually they'll have a thought about their morality and everything and maybe become a better person because of it"

I know this quote was absurdly long, but it is one of the most interesting conversations of the whole stream and it is really important and it tells us quite a bit as well. For one thing Wilbur was left quite emotional from someone simply admitting that he's an "alright person" and that they think he's capable of changing and this does bring him to open up to Ranboo right after. What Ranboo says to be exact is that anyone would have changed after going through what Wilbur went through and that change could be positive and while I completely disagree with it, it's clearly something that Wilbur needed to hear.

Now as to why I disagree with the notion that 13 years of semi-complete isolation could change anyone for the better should be rather obvious. But if it isn't, well, that's torture to put it simply. Psychological torture. Just like abuse it's one of those things that only cause trauma and a worsening mental health state and we see this with Wilbur because he didn't change, he only became more self-deprecating. Hurting someone doesn't make them become a better person all of a sudden, that's really not how it works. Hurting someone makes them become more traumatized.

"I think I scare people" ( as I said, immediately opening up about his insecurities)

"I think that a lot of people share your idea, but they share your idea in trying to- trying to keep me from hurting them" (for a bit here Wilbur talks about how he feels like everyone else is just waiting for him to step a foot out of line, which does really show that he's still interpreting all his interactions with people through the lens of his paranoia and self-deprecation, because no one is really interacting with him with that objective in mind)

"Dream's had his comeuppance and I've not" (this seems to be the crux of Wilbur's insecurity. This idea that he got off scot-free for his crimes, the idea that the only difference between him and Dream is the punishment that's been bestowed upon them which, of course, is wrong, but he doesn't know this, because he doesn't actually know why Dream's in prison)

"I've been investing into the wrong areas Ranboo, I've been investing into the wrong people" (This is either a reference to Tommy, to Phil, to Quackity, or to all of them)

"We're kindred man, we get each other" (the reason why he thinks that is because he seems to think that Ranboo has a similar type of paranoia to what Wilbur experience himself and he's not entirely wrong. Ranboo is deathly afraid of conflict and of being disliked so much so that he never stands up for anything in fear of angering others)

Little definition of "neuroticism" for you all since Wilbur kept mentioning it: neuroticism, one of the Big 5 personality traits, is typically defined as a tendency toward anxiety, depression, self-doubt, and other negative feelings.

I'd say it's quite fitting for both characters...

"I feel like life dealt us the same cards and the difference is that you built your trust by showing people your cards whilst I- I keep them close to my chest and I feel like that may be the big difference" (I felt like this was interesting. Especially knowing how much Ranboo actually doesn't share and how much he actually also keeps close to his chest)

They talk about tubbo in general for a bit and about what's been going on the server in general. Ranboo also that he's part of both Snowchester and the arctic commune (mostly the latter though).

"This has been chill, this has been good, I'm excited to show Tommy. What's your opinion on Tommy?" "Oh, he's- he's great. Tommy's awesome" "I agree I agree" "Definitely gone through a lot but I think that it's made him a good person" "Well you seem to think that everyone going through something at least gives them some merit you said" "I mean, yeah. I mean if- if no one- the only really bad people are the ones who are just evil because- just because and they don't have any reason why"

Included the whole thing here because if I stopped at Ranboo saying that Tommy going through trauma is what made him a good person it would have sounded really bad. As things are I think that that was just poor wording on his part and that this mostly goes back to the mentality he expressed before about how people sometimes do bad things because of the environment they're in pushing them and this idea he seems to have that actual hardships (like 13 years in Limbo or whatever he knows about what Tommy has been through) can encourage people to be better which is... sort of naive honestly. Again, trauma isn't a catalyst for the betterment of a person, and any improvement Tommy has made came from his self-reflection, not what he's been through.

After they're done with the van Wilbur brings Ranboo to their competing establishment and asks him to smash the windows, which Ranboo does with no hesitation whatsoever. After that Wilbur proceeds to place down one single block of TNT in a corner and Ranboo starts being a little more hesitant.

"You trust me right?" (I feel like that was a trick question considering how their common paranoia is the thing that Wilbur praised in Ranboo before)

Wilbur hands Ranboo the flint and steel to detonate the piece of TNT which Ranboo does, albeit with some hesitation.

"You passed the test, good job man, you go back to the van (...) Ranboo- Ranboo... I'm proud of you man. You've taken a side, you've proven that you can choose a side"

Quite a few people have already pointed out how similar this scene was to the time Wilbur tested Tommy in season 1 to decide if he was fit to be his right-hand man. In both situations, Wilbur gave someone a chance to cause some destruction against someone on the opposite side. Tommy passed the test by refusing to do so and showing that he was willing to uphold his morals and what he believed in. Ranboo passed the test by doing the exact opposite, by showing that, as much as he talks about how he chooses people and not sides, he's not willing to prove that even when all he would need to do to do so is doing nothing.

And it's an interesting scene to analyze as a parallel to that, but it's also interesting to note that Wilbur knows about Ranboo and Tommy griefing George together. He knows that Tommy was the only one to face any consequences for it (not that exile was actually the consequence for the griefing, but this is from Wilbur's point of view). Now putting this in the context of Wilbur seeing himself in Ranboo and thinking that he himself got off scot-free explains this next part perfectly in my opinion.

It explains why he made sure to leave this sign:

To me at least. This is only a theory honestly, we don't have an actual full explanation. But I do think that Wilbur may feel like the both of them never got the comeuppance they deserved, which is why he did something that's sure to get a reaction from one of the most powerful people on the server. Though considering that he also left 2 diamonds as retribution + a chest with all the materials he picked up it could have also been Wilbur's idea of a bonding moment and he could actually really be proud of Ranboo.

#long post #dream smp #wilbur soot #philza #ranboo #c!wilbur #c!ranboo #dream smp analysis #character analysis #stream analysis #tw self-harm #tw self-deprecation #tw torture mention #tw abuse mention #I'm sure there are plenty of things I missed #but this was all for now

[junowritings]

HELLO, DARLING 💕💕 I'm here to bust in and ask for some sweet, sweet Twst fluff! May I have some Ruggie, Azul, and Deuce reacting to thier fem!s/o protecting them in a fight?? Maybe some dude trying to swing at them and their gf gets in the way and protects them! Pls give me the good, much love and you're amazing 💕💕💕💖💖💖

First request! Thank you so much honey I am always happy to provide some peak content~! I had way too much fun with this and it shows lmao but I hope you enjoy~! 💖 💖 💖

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Ruggie

♡ Ruggie’s used to stepping on a few toes and tails with his antics - he’s a little trickster at heart but it’s all in good fun, he swears! It’s just unfortunate circumstances that perhaps one or two people sometimes get caught in the crossfire of his schemes, never anything too serious, but enough to leave more than a few people grumbling about it by the time things actually get sorted back out. Rarely do things ever actually spiral out of Ruggie’s control, and even if they do, chances are no one stays too mad at him for too long...most of the time. The times they do? They tend to get a bit out of hand.

♡ When a group of students attempt to corner him on the way back to the Savanaclaw dorm, he isn’t even sure what’s got them so heated - they start cussing him out, ranting about how he must think he’s such a wise guy, getting so cocky and not knowing his place. He’s not phased by what they say at all, if anything he’s not fussed in the slightest and would probably make a comment about them coming up with something more original if he could get a word in their bickering. It gets tiring real fast, and Ruggie’s looking for an out before these guys have even finished talking.  

♡ Sure, he could use his unique magic in this situation, but given that it would only affect one of them and more than likely piss them off even more in the process, it wouldn’t do much to save his hide right now. Three against one hardly seems like a hard fight, but if Ruggie is even remotely concerned about the odds it doesn’t show for a second, instead - chances are, they’re just gonna yell it out of their system and then storm off so he can go back to what he was doing. Arguably, that just makes them angrier, and soon enough their heated bickering becomes thinly veiled threats, as though they’re trying to rile him up into instigating something - they want a reaction, an excuse to justify starting a fight, but Ruggie’s not naive enough to fall for that trick. 

♡ When he doesn’t, one of the students finally snaps, lunging forward and snagging the collar of Ruggie’s uniform, bunching it up until he can feel knuckles pressed against his throat and he has to tilt his head up to avoid the fist curling underneath his chin. As the other hand rears back, the laid-back smile on his face becomes strained, and Ruggie squares the guy with a pointed stare as though waiting to call their bluff on actually taking a swing. He doesn’t get the chance to find out, as in the next moment the hand’s gone from his collar and Ruggie finds himself looking at the back of a blazer as a new voice joins the scene - one that he recognizes.

♡ He can’t see your face from this angle, but he can hear the hostility in your voice as you square up to the three boys, standing to your full height as you curse them out and order them to back up, asking what the hell they thought they were doing to your boyfriend. And just like that, those three hotheads dissolve into cowering pups right before his eyes, all bumbling words and awkward shifting as they try to talk their way out of the situation they’d been caught red handed in. They’re doing a poor job of it, and you’re clearly not buying it as you fold your arms and fix them with a scowl, taking a step forward as you move to completely shield Ruggie from their view. 

 ♡ Ruggie can count the amount of times someone has actively gone out of their way to protect him on one hand, so the situation is as bizarre as it is entertaining. He feels a smug kind of pride at hearing you declare the word ‘boyfriend’, and hearing the anger in your voice is enough to convince him that it’s for the best to let you handle this whole thing. Still, Ruggie just can’t help but peek over your shoulder as you tear those guys a new one, shooting them a shit eating grin and enjoying the way that their expressions twist into grimaces, pissed but unable to do anything less they risk even more of your rage.

♡ All you have to hear is one of them mention ‘putting him in his place’ for your expression to visibly darken, and all three of them know that they’ve messed up at the sight of your face. You barely even have to feign lunging at them to get all three of them to bolt, just about toppling over each other as they flee down the corridor and round the corner, effectively vanishing from your sight. Even then you wait a beat, listening out for their footsteps until you can’t hear them anymore before you allow the tension to fall from your shoulders. Ruggie thinks that’s the perfect time to chime in, resting his head on the shoulder he was peeking over as he snickers.

♡ “Shishishi~! Did you see the way they ran? Talk about spooked!”

♡ You find yourself chuckling along with him as you look at him out of the corner of your eye, watching his expression carefully before you shift around to fully face him. The first words out of your mouth are words of concern, asking him if he’s okay and if they hurt him in any way. He’s quick to brush off any of your worries, giving you a non-committal shrug and assuring you that he’s fine - he’s dealt with way worse confrontations before, so it’s not skin off his hide now that they’ve scampered off. 

♡ You’re not entirely convinced, he can see it in your face as you regard him - you seem to want to press the question on those ‘worse confrontations’, but after a moment you seem to drop it. Instead, you reach out and attempt to straighten out his collar and tie, though both are still a wrinkled mess by the time you’re finished; even so, Ruggie seems to appreciate the sentiment, and that lax grin from before is back as he slides out of your grip. He’s still gotta get back to the dorm, but it wouldn’t hurt to have company on the way back, if his new ‘bodyguard’ wants to tag along~

Azul

♡ Azul’s no stranger to people’s ire - he’s gained more than a few enemies over time, having his fair share of scorned patrons cursing his name before he’d even enrolled at Night Raven college. He’s learned quickly to gauge whether someone’s just blowing off steam or if they’re a serious threat, and he learned even quicker how to deal with those situations accordingly; after all, it’s bad business if you’re busy being hounded by clients looking for a bone to pick. He’s got countermeasures in play, and a few backup plans if things become too dicey for his liking, but he’s fortunately rarely had to use them barring one or two troublesome incidents thanks to the Leech twins.

♡ Floyd and Jade have, of course, been a big help in handling these little confrontations whenever they arise, having nipped most of them in the bud before they’ve even had the chance to darken the doors of the Monstro Lounge, so there’s been a relative peace in the place when people are there to have a good time rather than try and start fights.

♡ Things come to a head when someone actually manages to slip through into the Monstro Lounge, and Azul comes out of his office to the sound of someone shouting his name in a tone that sets the precedent that this is not going to be a peaceful interaction. He sees their face before they even turn to face him - expression twisted up in anger and hands balled at their side as they glare daggers at the other patrons, as if trying to discern if the dorm leader is sitting amongst them. Azul recognizes them immediately, and, upon realizing that the twins aren’t present in the lounge, rationalizes that it’s up to him to smooth things over before they end up disturbing the other patrons and causing too much of a disturbance. And so he plasters on his most neutral, unassuming smile, and greets the new ‘client’, watching them whip around to face him as he steps forward to talk to them.

♡ Azul already knows what they want to talk about - of course he does - he’s learned to keep track of every face that passes through those doors and his interactions with them. And yet he allows them to talk, and get what they want off of their chest; talking to them like this isn’t going to get them anywhere, and it appears they’re more in the mood for yelling than they are for actually talking. So he allows them to rant, if only to calm them down enough until he deems them rational enough to listen to what he has to say; and after a moment this seems to actually have done the trick, as the yelling soon quiets down in frustrated grumbling, and the eyes once drawn to the scene from nearby tables begin to return back to what had previously caught their attention. That’s when Azul finally speaks, extending an offer to finish this conversation back inside his office - after all, he’s sure they didn’t come here simply to make a scene when there’s a peaceful resolution to be reached, right? 

♡ It’s with that thought in mind that leads Azul to a momentary slip in judgement - turning his back on the troublesome patron and begins to walk back towards his office, expecting them to follow him. Which they do, with a raised fist. He doesn’t hear them storm after him, but what he does hear is the gasps from onlookers as they watch the person in question rear back their hand, fist aiming right for the back of his head. It should have connected - afterall, they were close enough to have landed the hit, but it never comes.

♡ Instead, a sharp shove at his back has Azul’s stumbling, and not a moment later, he’s spinning around to see what’s going on and finds an unexpected sight. The patron’s sprawled out on the floor, cradling their face in both hands and swearing up a storm as they rock back and forth, nursing what looks like a solid hit to the nose. And towering over them is none other than you, blazer discarded and sleeves rolled up to the elbows as you shake off the hit from your hands, winding up your shoulders as you stare daggers down at his would-be attacker. It doesn’t take a genius to discern what’s just happened in the span of just a few moments, but Azul’s suspicions are all but confirmed when you snap at them to just try and punch him again - watch what happens, you dare them.

♡ Anger flashes across the patron’s face, and for a second Azul truly believes that he’s about to watch a brawl break out between this troublemaker and his girlfriend as both make a move to jump the other. Thankfully for all involved, they don’t get the chance to see that show, as not a moment too soon the twins are there to intervene and split it up before any real fight begins. Jade’s hands are on your shoulder, guiding you back gently but firm enough to ensure that he can pull you away from this fight if you try to push the issue; you reluctantly follow him as he backtracks over to where Azul is standing, still grumbling about it under your breath. Floyd, on the other hand, is all too eager to take care of the one still cradling their face, sporting the beginnings of a bloody nose as they’re hoisted up onto their feet and promptly directed to the nearest exit.

♡ Azul makes a note to deal with that person later - though he’s got a sneaking suspicion that the twins are already well on their way to taking care of that in his stead as Jade leaves to rejoin his brother once you’re standing face to face with their dorm leader. For now, he turns his attention to you, watching you huff and rub idly at the hand you’d punched with as the beginnings of an apology tumble from your lips. 

♡ You didn’t mean to get involved and cause so much of a scene, but when he’d turned away and you saw the person rearing back to sock him, you were up from your table and swinging without a second thought. You couldn’t just sit there and let him get hurt, what kind of girlfriend would that make you if you did! You’d never let him get hurt as long as you were around - that was okay...right?

♡ The passion behind your voice is enough to convince him that you mean every word, and you can see his expression soften a little as he takes your hand into his own, thumb brushing over the scuffed skin of your knuckles, red marks becoming visible as a testament to the force behind your punch. Your expression twitches with a flash of discomfort - looks like you’d underestimated the force on your hand; Azul’s not surprised, going above and beyond was a penchant of yours that had gotten you this far, and perhaps what had led to you worming your way into his heart in the first place.

♡ At your expression, Azul gives your hand a pat before taking a step back, using the hold to guide you. He certainly doesn’t mind the protective streak - in fact it’s a rather endearing trait, one that deserves proper compensation in return. But the first order of business is getting that hand tended to, and Azul makes that his priority as he leads them to follow him to his office, pleased when you fall into step with him and follow his lead. 

Deuce

♡ Honestly, with how much of a protector can be over his friends, Deuce is in desperate need of someone just as willing to square up for him. He takes their safety seriously, even though part of him knows that realistically they can all take care of themselves just fine if anything actually happened. That still doesn’t stop him from wanting to step in whenever things get dicey, especially whenever it comes to you or your friends, and that either becomes a sweet sentiment, or the bane of your existence depending on how many altercations this ends up dragging him into.

♡ Maybe it's because of this that a fight was bound to break out sooner or later, but for what it’s worth, this one wasn’t actually caused because of him - it was because of Grim. That feline had a habit of breaching people’s boundaries, and sure enough it was just a matter of time before things escalated into a fight before anyone even had a chance to figure out what had even happened. Deuce wasn’t around when it happened, but the sound of yelling had caught his attention and led to him looking into the passing hallway trying to figure out what was going on. He recognized some of the voices, he swears it, and sure enough he finds the owner of those voices right in the center of the hallway, a small circle of people getting into each other's faces.

♡ Both sides are yelling, and at the sight of Ace and Grim smack-dab in the middle of the bickering, Deuce finds himself getting in-between them if only to get the one guy waving his hands around away from his friends before someone got slapped. Almost immediately there’s a hand in his face, an accusatory finger jabbed in his direction as all that anger at his friends is now squared directly on him. Deuce feels himself getting angry the more this guy screams into his face, cutting him off every time Deuce tries to get a word in; it’s clear that he’s not going to get any answers from this guy any time soon, so he calls to his friends behind him, ignoring the shout of ‘Hey, don’t ignore me!’ directed at him as he does so.

♡ Deuce looks away for a second, talking to Ace over his shoulder to try and find out what started this whole thing in the first place, when he feels someone grab a fistful of hair and yanks. Pain blossoms through his scalp and he hisses, a hand flying up to snag the wrist of the guy and wrenching it forward, digging his fingers in to force him to let go only for the hand to grip tighter. There’s another sharp tug, and Deuce can see Ace and Grim diving forward to help him from the corner of his eye, their shouts of protest only seeming to anger the guy more as they round in on him.

♡ But someone else gets there first, and just like that the hand is being wrenched from Deuce’s hair and he hears something go sliding across the floor. Turns out it’s the guy, whose expression is a mix of anger and bafflement as he tries desperately to reach for something behind him - no, someone. There’s a hand wound into the back of the guy’s blazer, hoisted up enough that he has to arch to go along with the item of clothing. The guy tries to reach behind him, but every time another hand peeks out from behind him to swat it away with ease, eliciting frustrated whines when the guy realizes he’s stuck.

♡ Deuce’s face must be priceless as he takes in the scene, watching a familiar head duck out from around the guys shoulder and flash him a grin, giving him a thumbs up. He hadn’t even seen you in the crowd, did you jump in when you saw him getting hurt? A part of him feels bad that you’d seen it happen in the first place, but that’s soon quashed when you turn your focus back to the guy who’d swung, who by this point had lost the gumption to keep swinging and was now just waiting for you to release your grip.

♡ You give it a few more seconds for good measure, before you allow your hold to loosen and you step away, still giving the guy a cautious glance as you move to stand in front of Deuce, Ace and Grim in a protective stance. There’s a beat of tenseness, waiting to see if the fight is going to start back up again, but when the group starts backtracking, retreating to who knows where else, it’s clear that at least for now things have been resolved. And with that out of the way, you turn your attention back to the boys, sticking Grim a pointed stare as you huff out that you’re talking to him about this later. 

♡ Then you turn your focus over to Deuce, and he immediately straightens up under your attention waiting for some kind of comment about the confrontation, or maybe a warning for him to be more careful. You take his face into your hands, and though confused, he follows along with your movements as you urge him to look down; he doesn’t know what you’re doing until he feels a hand smooth through his hair, easing the tousled hair back into place as you ask him if it still stings. Your tone is soft, and Deuce finds himself flushing as he hurriedly reassures you that it doesn’t hurt - it’s fine, really! You’re not entirely swayed, but the moment is broken when you hear Grim make a gagging noise telling you to stop being so weird. And just like that your attention is back onto Grim again, fully prepared to choke him with that damn bow as Deuce straightens back up, carding a hand through his hair and trying to will away the pink flush beginning to rise to his cheeks.

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