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dramavixen · 3 months

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Love and Redemption: A Fantasy Epic About How Prejudice Destroys Worlds, and How Love Pieces Them Back Together

**major spoilers for: Love and Redemption

After wrapping up a watch-through of Mysterious Lotus Casebook, my mom had the brilliant idea that we should rewatch the work that launched Cheng Yi to fame (or at the very least solidified him as the man to hire if you need someone to spit blood): Love and Redemption.

I’m certain she only found this idea appealing because she doesn’t remember a TV show after it’s over. Credits rolling? Aight, time for the woman to clear up space on her brain’s memory drive. Meanwhile, my life flashed before my eyes as I recalled the anguish that’s synonymous with the show’s plot. But you know how things go when your mom wants something. If she says you're sitting through 44 hours of emotional torture with her, then you plant yourself on that couch until it’s over.

Ironically, Love and Redemption fares even better on rewatch. Though other xianxias have come close to its place in my heart, I’m now concerned that my palette won’t be so easily satiated again. It’s got your conventional reincarnation, warring realms, and a star-crossed romance while throwing curveball after curveball to shatter your expectations. Complex characters, too? An endgame villain who will haunt you in your sleep? You can’t ask for more.

Just because you didn’t ask, doesn’t mean that the show won’t deliver something extra. I like to think that nothing reflects a society’s unsightly reality like a well-done fantasy, and this one hits closer to home the more time that passes. A thinly veiled commentary on human flaws and how difficult it is to be a good person, Love and Redemption is a drama for the ages.

This is going to get lengthy, so to prepare you, here’s how I’m divvying up this piece:

Part I: All of Them Are Classist

Part II: All of Them Are Sexist

Part III: All of Them Are Racist

Part IV: Love Wins All

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Part I: All of Them Are Classist

It’s not my intention to disgust anyone right out of the gate, but we need to talk about Wu Tong. Do you hear what I hear? Yes, it’s the distant echo of Wu Tong’s nefarious laughter, resounding between the walls of my skull.

Quite simply, Wu Tong is the worst. (Or at least he would be, if it weren’t for that other fellow named Bai Lin. That dude will get a glaring spotlight later in this essay, trust me.) But it’s not for no reason.

Coming from a background of poverty, Wu Tong spends most of his young life trying to prove himself to upper class cultivators who don’t have any interest in who he is, only in what he has to offer them. He earns his place in his sect through relentless hard work. He utilizes unsportsmanlike methods in his attempts to win the battle tournament in opening episodes. It's not just a competition to him—he's directly told that if he gets anything other than first place, he can forget about keeping his place in his sect.

When he and the protagonists first meet, his prideful personality results from his inferiority complex. There’s no doubt that he’s a powerful cultivator, but the issue is how he finds that to be his only real value. He doesn't bother to be likable, because what's the point in doing that? Being likable doesn't fill an empty stomach. But the more he disrespects others in an effort to make himself appear important, the more others look down on him, and the more he overcompensates by fighting back even more. It’s a vicious cycle—one that never ends because no one involved wants to take the first step back.

Knowing what type of person he becomes, it’s hard to pity him in any capacity. However, it would still be unfair to ignore how others mistreat him before he even turns into a true enemy.

One scene that sticks out to me happens early on, where Wu Tong nearly injures Xuanji during a 1v1 battle against Minyan. The protagonist crew insists on getting payback. Okay, I’m with it. You can’t let such reckless violence slide. I guess they’ll get their revenge in a later stage of the tournament by beating him into the ground?

Nah. That would be too reasonable. What they actually opt for is tricking him to fall into a trap by putting up a “have you seen my lost snake?” poster with a financial reward, knowing that he’ll be fooled because…he’s poor.

Sifeng: I asked around. Wu Tong was born to a family of lower status. He lives frugally. The reason he trains so hard is because he hopes to become someone powerful one day. […] Now he needs the money urgently to buy medicine and recuperate his inner strength before his next battle. Minyan: When you put it that way, doesn’t that mean he has no choice but to come for the ten night pearls?

Sifeng…oh no. Not you too.

The way Wu Tong behaves doesn’t warrant anyone being amicable toward him. I, too, have a nonexistent tolerance for obnoxious, violent egoists. But if later episodes are any evidence, this scene foreshadows that two wrongs won’t make a right. If they want to teach him a lesson, they shouldn’t stoop so low as to take advantage of his poverty. His family background is the one thing about him that isn’t his fault, yet it’s the one thing they choose to use against him. That’s what I call “going too far.”

Now that he's been hit where it hurts, Wu Tong feels justified in going too far himself. In a fit of desperation and contempt prompted by his master abandoning him, he stabs Xuanji. Not great. Things get extremely not great when you remember that Xuanji is the daughter of a sect leader. That quickly transforms Wu Tong’s attempted murder/almost manslaughter into the evilest act known to mankind. All five sects turn against him to hunt him down and kill him. I’m no law or philosophy expert, but I’m pretty sure the punishment for almost manslaughter is not the death penalty.

The five sects can treat him as their prey because he doesn’t have a support system to counter them. If he were the son of another sect leader, the thought of killing him would never even have entered their minds. Targeting him so relentlessly has less to do with justice and more to do with exerting power over a lower-class young man who hurt someone infinitely more “important” than him.

That imbalance between crime and punishment is what pushes Wu Tong over the edge. He goes on the run for several years before officially succumbing to the call of evil, after which he becomes truly irredeemable. Still, you’re occasionally reminded of his struggle—is he destined to be a villain? Or is throwing aside his remaining morality just his best chance at survival?

Do you have any idea how I survived these past several years, when you were all trying to kill me? What did I do back then that was so unforgivable? Did your sister die? Was it warranted for all five sects to team up against me, an average disciple? Was it warranted to back me into a corner over and over again, to force me to claw out of hell? Open your eyes and look at me! These past four years, I’ve already died countless times. Every time, I clawed my way back out of hell. Five hundred taels? You want to take my life with a measly five hundred taels? Don’t look down on me. Touch here. I have a fake leg. That’s what your five sects have left me with. What’s that look of yours? Guilt? Pity? I’m not telling you this for you to pity me. I, Wu Tong, survived this far because I must have my revenge.

Something my mom likes to say is if you find yourself going against someone—but especially a dangerous person—you must leave a path for their survival. It’s less for their sake than it is for yours. Should you eliminate all their options, they’ll have no choice but to bite. And they’ll make sure it hurts like hell.

As an impetuous teenager, Wu Tong is in the wrong. He needs to be taught that his actions are unacceptable. But that can’t be accomplished by putting a bounty on his head and demanding that he be murdered. That’s how you turn a scoundrel into a monster.

Minyan, Wu Tong’s foil, similarly doesn’t come from an optimal background. An orphan, he was taken in by the Shaoyang Sect without the obvious pressure that Wu Tong suffers. Even so, he can’t escape the innate inequality that seems to exist between him and his fellow disciples. It especially affects him because he’s in love with Linglong, Xuanji’s sister but more importantly…also the daughter of the sect leader! Poor guy.

When I was little, kids in the village would surround me every day and call me a bastard child with no parents. I could only pretend that I didn’t hear them. Because if I took it to heart, they would only ridicule me more. We can’t shut the mouths of people who want to slander us. But we can choose not to listen.

He may think that he’s past it, but later episodes see Minyan being manipulated using that exact insecurity. It’s easy to impersonate his master and nudge him to become a “spy” in the enemy base because he’s compelled to prove himself worthy of the sect and worthy of Linglong. Fake Sect Leader Chu Lei tells him:

When I first met you, you were only eight years old. You were homeless on the streets, starving and shivering. Still, you clung to your family dagger and refused to pawn it. In that moment, I knew that you were a child with an iron will. That’s why I’m here to find you today.

I can agree that Minyan is really stupid to immediately believe that his master, a guy well-known for pretending to do important things more than he actually does them, would tell him to do something as reckless as invade enemy territory. However, he also heeds the impostor’s instructions because realistically, his master asking him to prove himself is something that could happen. Any good disciple would naturally want to repay their masters for their favor, let alone a disciple who would otherwise have nowhere else to go.

The contrast between Minyan and Wu Tong shoves itself in your face as you watch, primarily through their respective relationships with Linglong (well, one of them has a relationship. The other is a creep. Can you guess who’s who?). Without family backing, the two men both struggle to find their place in the world, but they’re complete opposites purely because of their upbringing. Thankfully for Minyan, he found a family amongst people who don’t treat him as “another,” even if he may think of himself as such.

Wu Tong isn’t so fortunate. You can say it’s his own doing, a result of his terrible personality, but he certainly wasn’t born like that. And now someone will pay for it.

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Part II: All of Them Are Sexist

As a caveat, I’ll mention that the main cast really could have used a woman who isn’t some combination of foolish, lovestruck, and/or loud. But I’m willing to overlook it just this once because the writers excel in highlighting both the ladies' flaws and how we as an audience exaggerate those flaws through our own preconceptions.

Working backwards in terms of plot importance, we can start with Xiao Yinhua. Sifeng’s snake familiar in a human form, Xiao Yinhua is like most female leads from the turn of the millennium in that her only real strength is throwing temper tantrums. She’s also like most second female leads from the turn of the millennium in that she constantly prefers using underhanded tactics and harming others to achieve her goals—in other words, a snake. Oh. I guess that makes sense.

Her affections toward Sifeng cloud her already nonexistent judgment and prompt her to make some of the worst decisions made by anyone, ever. At first, I thought I was being unfair toward her because of my own internalized misogyny. But no. I can say with absolute confidence that I would abhor this character no matter what gender or creature or object she may be. She has no redeeming qualities aside from teaching us that someone foolish, lovestruck, and loud is doomed to self-sabotage. From that perspective, she’s still a valuable character to have because now we know that before we act, we should think: would Xiao Yinhua do that thing? If she would, do not do that thing.

If Xiao Yinhua were willing to grow up, she could become more similar to Zi Hu. Zi Hu almost acts as a parallel to Sifeng—hopelessly in love with someone who doesn’t return the affection for a literal thousand years. Also, both are very pretty. Ahem.

Zi Hu’s thousand years’ worth of experience gives her the skills to back up her unrelenting feelings for Wu Zhiqi. She’s a rarity in that her driving force is a man—a motivation that's typically a reputation ruiner for female characters—but you find her lovable instead of thinking that she lacks self-respect. The key is that her love isn’t blind and rash like Xiao Yinhua’s. Zi Hu has a plan to save Wu Zhiqi from his prison and she carries it out with intention. In other words, it’s okay to focus on love, but only if you can take responsibility for your feelings.

Ting Nu: Why go so far? When did Wu Zhiqi ever tell you that he loved you? Your affections are merely one-sided. Zi Hu: When did he tell me he didn’t love me? Look, once I rescue him, he’ll have to be with me to thank me.

Because Zi Hu is a literal fox, people suspect her both for being a demon and for being the demon notorious for seducing men to consume their souls. The latter is quickly debunked and becomes less of an issue than her just being a plain demon. I nonetheless find it hilarious how everyone balks when she shows them her harem of men gleefully living in her backyard. Yep, she’s a cunning vixen. You can just keep wishing you could join that harem.

Zi Hu: You're trying to shoo me away. You think I’ll storm out because of your petty tricks? You’re underestimating me. I’ve already decided, starting today, I’m going to follow you everywhere. Even if you don’t want me to, I’m going to cling to you. This old spirit isn’t going to let those thousand years of waiting be in vain. Wherever you go, I’m going with. If you dare sneak peeks at other pretty women, I’ll dig out your monkey eyes. All in all, if I’m around, no pretty woman can enter your vision. As if you could bear to leave me behind if I hang around for another thousand years!

Xiao Yinhua and Zi Hu aren’t overly victimized based on their gender within the show itself. For the better too, because whoever dares to do so would probably end up dead by a fox's claws and a snake's teeth. These two characters' existences test your innate view of female characters instead. What is it that matters to you in a female character? What standards do you hold against them?

(**Content warning for the below segment until the next purple break: brief mentions of sexual assault and suicide.)

And that's where we come to Linglong. Linglong is a loudmouthed spoiled brat. She's overbearing, and while she wants to protect Xuanji, her method of doing it is by crying crocodile tears and throwing temper tantrums in front of their father. No wonder she and Xiao Yinhua clash—two childish people who both have a compulsion to win arguments? Forget it.

A bulk of the drama sees Linglong’s primordial spirit being taken and held captive by Wu Tong. Wu Tong puts half of her primordial spirit into the body of a flower demon, whom he also forces to take on Linglong’s physical appearance. No other reason, he just wants to have his way with someone who looks and acts like Linglong, the person who jeered at him all those years ago. By the time the real Linglong recovers her primordial spirit, Wu Tong has done enough damage that she’s haunted by nightmares and memories of someone who assaulted her when she couldn't even fight back.

The lead-up to this arc is incredibly disturbing and takes root in the very first episode. On my first watch-through, I thought their relationship would take a classic enemies-to-lovers path. The directors and writers pull you in this direction with no subtlety, showing a smitten Wu Tong when he first lays eyes on Linglong. They then keep the scam going by having him act out in awful ways as he attempts to gain her attention. That’s right, it’s the brainwashing girls receive when they’re on the playground: “he pulls your hair because he likes you."

During their first meeting, Linglong is surrounded by a halo filter from Wu Tong’s perspective. Knowing what he’ll later do to her makes the seeming innocuousness of this scene revolting, but it's necessary. It's the first of many steps to prove that someone’s “affections” can’t be used as an excuse for harming whomever’s on the receiving end of them.

Linglong can be an extremely annoying person. Her outspokenness and difficult temper shape her into an unlikable character, which then ensures that by the time Wu Tong captures her, the audience almost instinctively wants to say that it’s her fault. We all know the talk track: “he liked her, so why couldn’t she just have been nicer to him? She asked for it by being mean to him.”

When Linglong first offends Wu Tong, it isn’t for no reason: she’s angry because he endangers her sister’s life over and over again. Admittedly, she goes overboard in her retaliation against him. So what? Linglong being mean to Wu Tong and Wu Tong later targeting her are indeed connected events, but the former doesn't justify the latter. If we say that the five sects hunting Wu Tong down isn’t a fair punishment, then isn’t it also unfair for him to turn the tables on her in such a way?

Essentially, Linglong isn’t the “ideal” victim. That’s what makes her arc all the more heartbreaking. To this day, society wants to find any excuses for the assailant. Any mistake, any flaw of the victim's will be used against her. As humans, maybe it’s instinct for us to hope that bad things only happen to bad people, and victim-blaming is our twisted way of making that an impossible reality.

Overcome with depression and trauma, Linglong is unable to come to terms with what Wu Tong did to her. Men gossip about her and her “relationship” with the enemy, sometimes harassing her straight to her face. Wu Tong himself finds great delight in taunting her about her “sharing his bed,” not only relishing the memories but also enjoying how much it torments her.

Linglong: It was my fault that I was captured by Wu Tong, wasn’t it? [...] Everyone thinks so. I didn’t want to be captured by Wu Tong. But after Wu Tong said all those things, everyone thinks so. Minyan: Linglong, why care about what everyone else thinks? Just pretend that you didn’t hear any of it. Linglong: But I did hear them. Why do I need to pretend I didn’t? It’s something that actually happened, so why do I need to play dumb and trick myself into thinking it didn’t? Are you going to be like them too, and mock me?

All the accusations brainwash her into thinking everything is her fault. To Wu Tong and all the people judging her, she’s nothing but a pawn to be used for their own entertainment. And once she and Minyan leave the protection of the sect, everyone finds her an easy target to push around. Hoping that her death will mean freedom for both herself and her loved ones, she attempts to drown herself before being yanked back to life and reality by Minyan.

Linglong’s struggle is many women’s worst nightmare. It’s also a diligent representation of PTSD, something that I normally wouldn’t expect from a xianxia drama. Even after she's rescued and everyone tells her that her suffering is over, it never feels over for her. At night, Lingling is awoken by harrowing dreams of Wu Tong returning to kidnap her once again:

Nightmare!Wu Tong: You’ll always belong to me. You can’t escape.

The conclusion to her arc being Wu Tong’s death and his literal letting go of her may be quite idealistic. But I prefer to think that giving Linglong her happy ending is the writers’ way of trying to assuage our fears, of showing us that there will always be another sunrise regardless of what happens.

(**Content warning end.)

Linglong becomes the drama’s strongest woman-centric plot, and I really love that the writers did it with a character whose personality isn't the most appealing. She's the imperfect woman we can find in every corner of the world, a representation of women overall instead of the minority who are considered "deserving" of justice.

Next to her, Xuanji also gets a short end of the stick. She's constantly being pushed to marry Hao Chen. Every excuse in the book is used against her: they're a fated couple, he's the only one that can take care of her, doesn't she agree that this is a part of her duty? No matter how logically she objects to it, no one really cares what she thinks. If she objects, she’s being headstrong, and that’s the end of it. (More on Xuanji to come in Part IV of this essay.)

And aside from Bai Lin’s more obvious transgressions (we're getting to those), what really irked me is just how twisted he makes the God of War’s rebellion appear in others’ eyes. The logic turns quickly from “Bai Lin must have done something wrong” into “the God of War must have been in love with Bai Lin and grew resentful that he rejected her.” I guess it’s very believable that the God of War would want to destroy the entire universe because some guy wouldn’t date her? That’s right, you can be the most accomplished woman in your field and someone will still want to attribute everything you do to being motivated by romance.

Naturally, the next question is—why is Bai Lin such a weirdo? Why does he insist on turning his friend Luohou Jidu, a man, into a woman when creating the God of War? Hmm. I smell a waft of homophobia...

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Part III: All of Them Are Racist

And except for a small minority, I really mean "all of them" this time. Humans and celestial beings are racist toward demons. Demons are racist back toward humans and celestial beings. If you asked both sides who started it, they'd point at the other without hesitation. "They started it. By existing."

I don’t even know where to start with this topic. Part of me believes this entire section of analysis could be extraneous—do I really need to do a deep dive when you could just click a random timestamp of a random episode and have a 50% chance of finding a character saying something incredibly racist? No case studies necessary. The drama is the case study.

Obviously, while I may say that all the different races are racist toward one another, some are notably more egregious in their discrimination than others. The five sects, being in power, are the worst offenders. Every other second, someone is reminding another that they need to wipe out demons. Just the utterance of the word “demon” makes them froth at the mouth. In their possession, they have treasure troves of weapons and magical devices whose collective main purpose is to identify and kill demons. Perhaps you know someone in real life who thinks that hating something is a personality trait—that’s the five sects in a nutshell.

Zi Hu and Ting Nu are continuously snubbed for not being human even after they’ve long proven that they’re more help than harm. Ting Nu is a doctor, but even saving Hao Chen doesn’t make them think of him as anything but a demon who is evil in his very bones. Demons can do everything right, but the high and mighty humans are too pure and innocent to associate with them…aside from killing and torturing them, of course.

Highlighted Exhibit A: Sifeng almost being tortured and whipped to death based on the mere suspicion that he’s a demon. The fact that he is one doesn’t matter. His assailants operate on the doctrine that they’d rather kill an innocent person than let a demon roam free. Every action to rid the world of a demon is a virtuous one. It's a reenactment of the Monty Python witch trial but they're being completely serious.

Highlighted Exhibit B: the other sects band together to wipe out Lize Palace without solid confirmation as to whether they’re all demons. They’re operating on the same principle as in Exhibit A, so at least you can praise them for being consistent.

Highlighted Exhibit C: before Sifeng is revealed to be a pretty bird, Xuanji’s repeated defense of him consists of "Sifeng isn’t a demon." The main purpose of these lines is to instill further fear into Sifeng and give him more reason to keep lying to her, all while Xuanji's trust in him deepens. But is it also some of her lingering innate judgment seeping through? A subconscious understanding that her family and sect will never accept a demon as her boyfriend? Well, joke’s on them because he’s one hot bird.

So how are you supposed to survive as a demon? Lize Palace results from the humans’ desire to eradicate an entire race of demons. Just as Wu Tong is driven only by revenge, the demons of Lize Palace just need to survive for long enough to one day remove their masks and live as themselves. Humans’ endless thirst for blood does nothing but fuel demons’ fire of rebellion and keep the wheel of tragedy turning.

As for the “bad guys” of Tianxu Hall? At least when they commit the same acts of evil as the other five sects, they’re willing to admit that being evil isn’t beyond them.

Yuan Lang is an extremely successful villain for this very reason. All of us love Yuan Lang, so much that we start grinning whenever he comes on-screen with his fan and sarcastic mouth. So much that when it's revealed he's been consuming people's souls, all my mom had to say about it was: “Oh. That's mean of him.”

He plots and he lies and he murders, but he doesn’t put up a facade of holding himself to a lofty moral standard. It’s also quite telling that while Yuan Lang machinates behind the scenes, 90% of his time is spent standing by and calling others out on their bullshit. Everyone around him creates their own downfall. He just happens to benefit from their stupidity.

Man with a fan and a plan. I like.

Even so, Yuan Lang isn’t invulnerable to emotion. One of my absolute favorite scenes is where Di Lang sacrifices himself so Yuan Lang can make a getaway. It’s the only instance of Yuan Lang being subject to the pain of caring about someone else. Those short moments contrast so starkly against the sects’ inhumanity that suddenly, a revolution doesn’t seem all that bad.

Behind the bulky mask, his despair is apparent. Man. This actor’s come a long way since his F4—I mean, H4 days. If you've never watched Let's Go Watch Meteor Shower Together, don't.

Finally, we arrive on the topic of Bai Lin. Oh, boy. I still haven’t watched Blood of Youth because seeing the actor’s face triggers my fight-or-flight response. And it’s been years.

Bai Lin, the one racist to rule them all. The guy must have a handbook on “How to Be Racist” or something—how else could the contempt that spews from his mouth, the spark of repugnance in his eyes, and the brazen obstinacy in his opinions be so immaculate?

The entire drama consists of setting the stage for the full reveal of Bai Lin turning Luohou Jidu into a weapon of war to be used against his own people. By the time all the pieces fall into place, you’ve already witnessed the tragedy created by discriminatory practices between mortals. You've seen how Sifeng is targeted and Xuanji forced to move her hand against him. You've seen how the sects use their power to harm instead of help. You've seen how demons plot their revenge for centuries. Once Bai Lin is confirmed to be the genesis of all that, there’s nothing left for you to feel but utter revulsion.

Bai Lin: Celestial beings and demons cannot coexist. How could my Heavenly Realm possibly hold a marriage with the Devil Tribe? Luohou Jidu: Celestial beings and demons cannot coexist...Then why do you drink with me today? Why are you friends with me? Bai Lin: Naturally, Brother Jidu, you’re different from other demons and devils. Out of all the demons and devils in this world, Brother Jidu is my only friend.

Can’t believe he even pulls the "you’re one of the good ones" card.

Bai Lin, practitioner of unethical tactics: his ultimate decision to trick and use Luohou Jidu results from racism-induced paranoia. He simply can’t believe that his friend will remain his friend, not unless he becomes "one of us." He thinks the God of War should appreciate that he's given her power and invested his time and energy in her tenth reincarnation, going so far as fool her into thinking that they loved each other once upon a time. Once Xuanji shows herself capable of independent thought, he doesn’t hesitate in turning against her and manipulating her to destroy her own self. He eventually sacrifices the entire world for the Heavenly Realm's survival. After all, what's the value of an entire planet's human and demon population in the face of his power?

He's the representation of what happens when those in power, those who have the best chance of righting wrongs and preventing more from happening, decide to perpetuate the problem. At the same time, he presents the predicament that those we rely on to give us justice are also victims of their own emotions and fears.

I venture to say that Bai Lin is the best-written antagonist in modern xianxia. He’s ruthless but has a moral compass, albeit one that only points in one direction—toward himself. His hubris aside, you have to admit that he genuinely believes he's acting for the greater good. The ends justify the means because he thinks he’s bettering the world.

Bai Lin makes awful decisions that involve genocide and cruelty because he operates on a strict utilitarian philosophy. "I do what I think will bring the best results, even if it means sacrificing something huge in the process." He’s the most dangerous character and the person we should also fear in real life because he’ll stop at nothing to create his definition of a paradise.

It would be easy to dismiss him as simply being a bad person. However, this show draws from reality in that every person exists in a gray area between good and bad. You can lean one way or the other, but you don’t fall completely into either. And that’s the foundation of the show's conflicts. Everyone's so busy trying to define what’s right and wrong that they’ve lost sight of basic compassion.

When he’s finally faced with the consequences of his actions, Bai Lin is driven to despair. He feels true remorse over what he’s done, but only because he’s fortunate enough to actually witness how the thousand-year conflict wouldn't have existed without him. We as people aren’t so lucky—those “what if”s will forever remain in the shrouded realm of impossibility.

Heavenly Emperor: You always thought that evil had sparked in the hearts of the God of War and Luohou Jidu. But the one in whom evil truly sparked was you. All things and happenings in this world are originally empty. From emptiness comes meaning. Yin and yang reverse; they support and restrain one another. The Heavenly Realm was originally empty. The Asura, too, was empty. If all is empty, then how could the Heavenly Realm be superior; and the Mortal Realm, Demon Realm, and Devil Realm be inferior? Your excessive concern for the safety of the Heavenly Realm prompted evil to take root in your heart, unable to be undone.

Seeing him in such despair almost makes me feel bad for him. Maybe I do have too much sympathy.

At this point, it's already too late to repair the damage he's caused, a realization that causes him further anguish. He rids himself of his divinity to show his remorse and accepts death. But he's already caused so much pain to everyone else. Who can put back together the world that he's destroyed?

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Part IV: Love Wins All

(We love IU for her perfect song that also gave me the best possible final section title.)

As I seek to be conscious of my own biases, I once wondered: why is it that shaking my head at a female character for being dedicated to a man comes so naturally to me, but I can’t be more gleeful to see Sifeng put his heart out on a platter for Xuanji? Perhaps I’m also sexist. Perhaps I have double standards.

Then I thought about it some more and realized everyone loves Sifeng because he’s so blatantly unrealistic that you’re immediately able to sink yourself into his fictional beauty. He transcends gender norms because there is no person of any gender who would go to the extent that he does for Xuanji, nor is there anyone who could remain as levelheaded when faced with some of the most shameless people known to mankind. Forget all the people flying on swords and uttering magic spells. The biggest absurdity in Love and Redemption is its male lead. Yes, I'm a skeptic. But we're so lucky to have him.

Sifeng grew up in a bizarrely backwards environment where—instead of girls needing to cover up to not attract men’s attention—all men need to protect themselves by wearing masks and not associating with the opposite sex. Brainwashed for years to believe that Lize Palace is the only safe space for golden fire birds like himself, he keeps cautious around people while still harboring a subconscious longing for their warmth.

In my entire life, I never knew what a "friend" is. I finally understand now, the meaning of "fervent friendship."

Sifeng is established as the loyal lover extremely quickly. He's whipped—figuratively and literally—for Xuanji, his sheltered childhood leaving him defenseless against her unintentionally flirtatious mannerisms. He teaches her about her lost senses without judgment, nurtures limitless patience with her and others by proxy, and isn't afraid to question the status quo.

We love Sifeng for his wisdom and levelheadedness. He sees things for what they are and is commonly the voice of empathy and reason within a world of selfishness. The entire show is Sifeng going, "I might as well do it myself" in every situation because no one else cares, is capable enough, or both. He's the guy in group projects who quietly does everything and doesn't even get mad that you're the most useless team member ever. What a saint.

In the xianxia universe, he's distinct husband material (which isn’t saying much since the bar there is so low that you'd need to dig yourself a grave to reach it—which is also great because then you already have a place to go once your xianxia spouse gets you killed. I digress). His loyalty to not only others, but also who he is and what he wants, leaves him able to counter the complacency with hatred and evil permeating the world around him.

With his endless empathy, he's able to understand Luohou Jidu. While Sifeng's earliest motivation in facing the greatest devil is only to save Xuanji, he later views Luohou Jidu as an individual with his own sufferings. He's the only one to truly view Luohou Jidu as himself, not someone to eliminate, not just an extension of Xuanji. To Sifeng, everyone deserves a chance to be heard before a verdict is passed over them.

Not to mention, these two’s interactions are absolutely hilarious. I wish I could've seen the extensive conversations that must’ve went on in the censorship agency over them.

Fellas, is it gay to clasp a guy’s hands within your own and stare deeply into his eyes while reminiscing about your loving relationship if he’s technically got a woman captive in his brain?

But perhaps what shines the brightest about Sifeng is how he suffers. He's so pretty when he suffers. Wait. That's not my point.

When his Lovers’ Curse triggers for the first time, Xiao Yinhua speaks the gospel that a lot of the audience probably has in mind: "you did so much for her, you were so good to her, but she doesn’t love you back." And it sounds kind of right? But also kind of not? Then Sifeng opens his mouth and you think, "oh, crap, I've been brainwashed by misogyny yet again."

She never asked me to like her. If someone wants to kill another just because she doesn’t reciprocate their feelings, then that person will never be loved. They also don’t deserve to love another.

Again and again, Sifeng puts himself in harm's way to keep loving Xuanji. Sure, he wants her to love him back, but that's secondary to his desire to be honest with his own feelings.

With the bright beacon of light that is Sifeng’s blinding love, I feel most viewers overlook Xuanji’s capabilities as a female lead. Her comparative passiveness in the relationship makes it seem as if she doesn’t love him enough. I attribute this to the same reason as our previous conclusions, that female characters in romance dramas have a harder time garnering the audience’s approval than their male counterparts. Are we innately more judgmental toward women, or is the standard for men still so low that we’re already impressed when a guy surpasses the bare minimum? Probably both.

It's easy to forget that Xuanji is the one who's nice to Sifeng first. When they first meet, Xuanji literally falls into his arms. Then he just…drops her. (And they say chivalry is dead.) But Xuanji doesn’t care.

The rules of his sect push Sifeng into being a bit of a porcupine in his demeanor. He puts up a wall against everyone, but especially Xuanji. After all, as an innocent boy, Sifeng needs to protect himself from evil women. Or something.

Xuanji is the one who can't take the hint tries to befriend him and tears down his wall with the gentle, graceful nature of a sledgehammer. She insists that she'll retrieve his lost mask because she knows it's important to him. When she discovers that Sifeng is punished over it, Xuanji is the one to point out how unfair it is. Her straightforwardness and sense of principle are the reason Sifeng begins to open up at all.

Xuanji: I’m the one who took off his mask. If you want to hit someone, hit me. [...] Not to mention, he almost died trying to get his mask back. So I'd like to ask you, Palace Leader, is Sifeng's life more important, or is that mask more important?

She knows no fear, so she doesn't consider emotionless rules to be worth anything if they cause pain for the people she cares about. In many ways, Xuanji is the one who teaches Sifeng to stand up for what he believes in.

That Xuanji lacks her six senses makes her the least susceptible to the prejudicial habits of her surroundings. She accepts what they believe, that demons are bad, but only because that's all she knows. Whereas most of her peers are content remaining in their ignorance, this supposedly heartless gal is curious about the world. She can easily abandon her preconceptions in favor of what she witnesses the world to be.

It takes constant practice and tests for Xuanji to completely shed her old beliefs. The introduction of Zi Hu marks the beginning of her growth. Xuanji, concerned and angry that Zi Hu is holding her friends captive, fully intends on killing the fox until Ting Nu reasons with her:

Ting Nu: Zi Hu isn’t a malicious demon. You shouldn’t threaten her life. Xuanji: But she kidnapped my friends. How can I spare her? [...] No. She did bad things, so I have to kill her. Ting Nu: [...] Zi Hu has never actually harmed anybody. She’s simply misguided by her anxieties. You should spare her life. […] If you discover that she’s actually committing malicious acts, you could kill her then, no?

If it were Minyan or Linglong in her position, you could bet that they'd ignore Ting Nu. For one, he's a merman, so of course he'd protect another demon. To Xuanji's credit, she really does give Zi Hu—and Ting Nu—the benefit of the doubt. Does she have to? No. But she does anyway.

If Sifeng’s love comes naturally, then Xuanji’s comes through determination. Who's to say that one is inherently better than the other? It takes ten lifetimes for her to understand a semblance of love. She wants dearly to understand what it means to "like" someone, even though she's already the least unafraid to show how much she cares about others.

After she successfully grows the heart light for Sifeng, I don't think anyone is more excited than Xuanji herself. Look how proud she is. Obviously, she's happy she can use it to protect him, but I imagine that she also views it as the clearest proof that she’s as human as anybody else and as capable of loving as anyone else. Sifeng may be stunned when the heart light disappears, but Xuanji falls despondent—she really wants Sifeng to be someone important to her.

People sometimes struggle to see past Xuanji’s initial naivety. They're especially harsh toward her for not seeing what Sifeng has sacrificed for her until it’s almost too late. It's true, the drama primarily favors Sifeng's perspective, so it's easy to only see what he’s done and ignore Xuanji’s efforts.

In spite of warnings from Sifeng himself to not do so, Xuanji emerges to save him from the third lash of the demon whip. You go, girl.

Love isn’t a competition. But for the sake of the discussion, let's say proof is needed that Xuanji’s effort in the relationship matches Sifeng’s. In that case, the important part is looking at what they sacrifice in a relative scope instead of an absolute one.

The things that Sifeng sacrifices are astronomical. He climbs a tower blustering with an eternal blizzard and puts on the Lovers' Curse mask. He stands right in the middle of the conflict between humans and demons even though there’s no way humans will spare him. He gets stabbed…a lot. But everything he does is a result of his own will and careful calculations—they’re all things he knows he can take responsibility for.

Sifeng's major flaw is that he's a massive liar. He's not right to lie, but he's also right to be scared about what would happen if he doesn't. As a demon, he knows what happens to anyone who isn't distinctly human. That's why he conceals his identity from Xuanji.

Then, once he discovers that Xuanji is also the reincarnation of the Star of Mosha, his fear is ignited again for her sake. Xuanji has almost always been defined by what she is, not who. She's berated for being useless when she doesn’t have her six senses. The moment she’s revealed to have the God of War's power, suddenly everyone finds her more than useful. If she's publicly revealed to be the Star of Mosha, then she'd be killed without question, and the person that is “Xuanji” will also cease to exist. Just as he doesn’t want Xuanji to view him and as anything other than himself, Sifeng doesn't want anyone else to view Xuanji as anyone other than herself. That's also why out of everyone, the one person he must keep the Star of Mosha secret from is Xuanji herself.

When Sifeng's lies begin to unfold, Xuanji is left to handle the mess he's inadvertently created. Suddenly discovering that he's a demon and also protective of the demon that possibly murdered her mother, Xuanji is torn. Her wavering faith in him isn't because of his identity, but because he lied to her.

Zi Hu: Do you dislike it that much, that [Sifeng] is a demon? Xuanji: Should I not? Zi Hu: Well, you healed my wounds. And you’re friends with me and Ting Nu, a merman. As for little Sifeng, he’s not a malicious demon who harms people. I don’t think he was aware of what went on with Tianxu Hall and Lize Palace. Xuanji: That’s different! He shouldn’t have lied to me. He’s the person I trust the most. But he even kept from me who he is. Then, all the things he told me and did with me in the past…what part of it all was real and what was fake? Zi Hu: What’s real and what’s fake? Can’t you just drag him over here and ask him? If he’s a scumbag, just kill him. But if there’s any misunderstandings, the two of you should clear them up. Resolve them and see what solutions there are. When two people are together, the scariest thing is misunderstanding one another for no reason. If you lose each other, that might be the end, forever. You’d regret that.

And then she eventually does try to kill him. Good going, Zi Hu.

Xuanji's main conflict in the latter half of the drama is that she wants to find a solution that satisfies everyone, an impossible dilemma. Everyone starts pressuring her to lead the charge against the demons. It's her duty as the God of War, isn't it? Oh, but if she doesn't want to, it's because she's in love with the enemy. But she can't be in love with the enemy. She's the God of War, after all.

That’s the duplicitous world that Xuanji lives in. Yet, without knowing why he's been dishonest or what else he could be lying about, she still chooses to believe in Sifeng—even if it means being treated as a traitor herself and being further guilt-tripped. She's bound to her duty, family, and the expectations that come along with that. Going against them in any capacity is a challenge to her entire livelihood and the moral standards imposed on her. If you take that into account, suddenly the things that she risks don’t pale in comparison what Sifeng does for her.

As an omniscient audience, it's easy for us to say that she doesn't do enough, that she should know better. It's an interesting thought experiment to wonder what else she could do in such a situation. Her boyfriend lies to her. She believes he has a reason, believes in him when he tells her to trust him. She defends him repeatedly to people who don't even care to listen unless it's to interrupt and call her crazy. She lies to her father that she'll devote herself to killing demons like Sifeng so they'll stop calling her crazy and threatening her. Then, when she goes to rescue Sifeng from Mingxia Cave, he's suddenly getting passive-aggressive with her: “oh, what does the mighty God of War need from a lowly demon like me that she deigns to talk to me?” Bro…if I were her, I might just ditch him in a fit of rage. That's how you want to play? Have fun turning into frozen poultry in this cave, then.

Obviously, more is going on behind the scenes that Xuanji is completely unaware of. Sifeng almost dies from her fire magic that Hao Chen stole. The broken hairpin. And okay, I'll admit that her saying that she'll kill him while he's eavesdropping outside is not a great look. But come on, Sifeng. Where have your critical thinking skills gone? If you can lie, don’t you think Xuanji can too? And after all that, she still instinctively shields him from her father’s sword.

Sifeng. In this case, I do have to criticize you in a serious manner. Do you have any idea how hard it was for Xuanji to finally try to get herself stabbed for you, only for you to go “no, me” and get stabbed again? Do you have a sword-magnet in your chest?

Then Sifeng tells her that he’s never loved her and was only using her because he’s Luohou Jidu, the world's biggest villain. And she still can't bear to hurt him. When Xuanji discovers that Hao Chen has tricked her into using a so-called “Purifying Vase” to doom Sifeng to a painful death, she's furious:

Xuanji: For my own good? You want me to practice the Method of Love, but you also want me to be heartless. I can’t be so contradictory. Hao Chen: I told you to practice the Method of Love through feelings between you and me, not for you to continuously absorb yourself in your fixation on Sifeng! Xuanji, don’t forget. Our marriage is one determined by the heavens. It’s destiny. Xuanji: The heavens determine nothing. If they do, then why did they make Sifeng and I meet in our past nine lives? What a joke of the heavens. Hao Chen: So, you’d rather resign yourself to your doomed fate with that demon than stay properly by my side? Xuanji: Fate isn’t split into a virtuous or doomed one. I hate myself for loving Sifeng before, and we won’t ever be together again. But since I already gave him my love, I won’t take it back.

But of course, Hao Chen has more tricks up his Mary Poppins sleeves. He pulls out all the stops and uses his last breath to manipulate her into stabbing Sifeng. Oh my god. Look at all these trust issues, just making themselves readily available.

Her stabbing him is, how do you say, very bad. But let’s be honest, she’s seen him survive worse. I don't have a nifty conclusion is here, but basically, she subconsciously knows he'll get over it (physically, at least).

Of course, Sifeng is heartbroken. It's intensified by the tragic fate of his father. His father’s goal was always to protect Sifeng from the dangers posed by the racist five sects, led primarily by fabricated memories that his lover Hao Feng was driven to suicide by her own family. When Yuan Lang reveals the truth, that Hao Feng's fear of demons trumped her love for her husband, it’s intense foreshadowing of Sifeng and Xuanji’s relationship. Maybe Xuanji isn't like Hao Feng and she can cross the rift between humans and demons, meeting Sifeng in the middle. But finally, she still retreats, away from him. Her betrayal, now the tenth in all their lifetimes, leads Sifeng to leave behind some of the most truthful but hurtful words for Xuanji to deal with:

I finally understand why my fate turned out as it did in all my past nine lives. From beginning to end, you have always been a heartless person.

It’s not fair to ask Sifeng to keep considering Xuanji’s feelings under the brunt of her violent wrath. But just as she has no idea what he’s been doing to protect her, he has no idea what she’s been doing to protect him. Zi Hu is right again: nothing poses a greater danger to a couple than misunderstandings. And racism.

The ultimate resolution only occurs once Xuanji recovers the memories of their past lives. Congratulations, Sifeng. After a millennium of pining, your love has finally touched the heart of your beloved. Indeed, it might take a long time getting there, but love will find a way.

I love the short scenes that show the God of War and Xi Xuan's quiet but gentle relationship. Xi Xuan is the only one who cares that the God of War wants her own identity, then gives her a moment in which she doesn't have to wear her armor, just as Sifeng does everything in his power to let Xuanji be "Xuanji." Through all their lives, Sifeng is the one who recognizes her for who she is and wants to make her happy, even if she doesn't have a heart.

Activate: Xuanji, shameless mode. After Xuanji tracks down Sifeng in his solitude, they return to their days as teenagers. Xuanji acts like a fool in front of him, demanding his attention, and Sifeng only wants to get her the hell out of his house. It's not only a reminder of the times when things were a lot simpler, but also of how far they've come.

She intends on marrying Sifeng. Even if her father doesn't approve, she no longer cares. There's not enough time left in the world to hesitate about the people you love to satiate someone who can't be satisfied. Just as Sifeng upends his whole life for her, she's willing to do the same.

And as Sifeng is dying, Xuanji makes the ultimate decision to become the Star of Mosha. This isn't a reckless move done just to save him. Rather, her faith in Sifeng has strengthened into steel after all they've been through. Even if the world ends, she knows that a little bird with unshakable resolve will come get her. For two people who have spent most of their time as a pair of parallel lines, never to coincide, this is their point of intersection—a challenge that they'll face together, even if they're apart.

Sifeng: Xuanji, stop! I'd rather die than watch you become a devil for me! Xuanji: Sifeng, I can't consider all that now. I have to save you! Whether I be the Star of Mosha or the God of War, I don't care. I just need you to be okay. Sifeng. If I become Luohou Jidu, you absolutely can't forget me. Remember to bring me back! I cry during this scene. Then I immediately start laughing at Sifeng's gobsmacked expression once Luohou Jidu shows up. It just reads "but...my girlfriend..."

And Xuanji's right. Sifeng is the solution. No one else can save Luohou Jidu, the God of War, and the world by extension. Luohou Jidu's pain results from being betrayed purely because of his identity as a devil, but Sifeng becomes the confidante that Bai Lin pretended to be. The God of War's pain comes from having no self-identity, but Xi Xuan gives her the ability to seek one and accompanies her for a thousand years to help her find it. The suffering that Bai Lin set into motion would lead to a ceaseless cycle of revenge and a destruction of the world’s good due to its sins, but Sifeng alone convinces Luohou Jidu and the God of War that there's something in life worth keeping. But you have to fight for it, and persistently, because good things only come to those who are willing to chase after them.

Xuanji to Bai Lin: I won’t mess with someone else’s life so simply due to my own matters, even if that person is someone as despicable as you. Sifeng once said that using hate to obtain vengeance is an endless cycle. In this life, I already have something that matters more to me than that. I have no space to keep my hatred.

I know it can sound cheesy to say that the best revenge is living a happy life. But Love and Redemption can convert even the most insistent of cynics—me, for example. People will practice evil whether or not there’s a reason for it and whether or not those consequences will ripple out into a tsunami that will engulf the world. Only true, honest love can hope to settle the uneasy sea. It’s why Zi Hu gives Wu Zhiqi something to live for other than war. It’s why Linglong and Minyan have a reason to persist alongside one another. It's why Luohou Jidu gives his heart and life to Sifeng. It’s why Sifeng is able to save Xuanji. It's why the three realms are blessed with the chance to keep finding a reason to persist.

Sifeng and Xuanji’s story is a journey of overcoming all odds; of learning to love someone unconditionally not because it’s easy, but because you want to; of letting that love grow into a ray of hope in the world. Yes, if we let it, love wins all.

Sifeng: Your heart has become one of flesh and blood. It couldn’t bear to destroy the three realms. Because…it’s a heart that I held and warmed in my hands, bit by bit.

#love and redemption #琉璃 #scribbles*#originally this was only going to be about the racism #then the further i got the more i thought “well you can't just talk about the racism and not everything else”#and after adding “everything else” i figured i might as well do a sifeng/xuanji relationship analysis while i was at it #so here we are #it's below 10k words though :D so still bite-sized? ...lol

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am-i-the-asshole-official · 3 months

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AITA for saying tomy dad he doesn't knows how to use the damn washing machine?

🎣 So I can find it later

Me (transmasc, 25) live with my parents. This is something they suggested me after I had a breakup with someone abusive, before someone jumps at my neck for living with them, immediately voting that I am the asshole. No they don't respect either my name or my pronouns, that's how bad the relationship was. I also pay a fixed amount per month that's about half of my salary+do more complex house chores. This was a while ago when mom had just given birth.

My dad is pretty big at fishing, and gets his fishing clothes pretty dirty. Fishy smell, dirt, grass, dirty water, you know the drill. Fishes a shitton of fishes and sell it for some extra money. I think it's important to mention his salary isn't bad, it's actually about 7 times the minimum wage here, he just spends in a lot of stuff he doesn't needs like getting a lot of toys for the younger sibling, a lot of fishing material he doesn't uses, paying for bills he made back when he exchanged our house for a farm and then got absolutely ridden in debt from farm expenses because he thought everything would be perfect like in those farm movies. And then had to exchange the farm again in a worse house and still pay back some money, getting pets he can't pay for the expenses like about 15-20 native birds (that are illegal btw) and canaries that cost some real money because they eat specialized food and fresh fruit+medicine. I think it's also important to mention that when I was younger my mom and him fought at least one time per month about his fishing habits that were like, leave on Friday and coke back either sunday night or monday morning. Now they're much more tamer usually capping off at one day, but still are frequent, like at least one time per week.

Now to the real deal: mom always washes his clothes, but in this specific time I was doing laundry because she just was cut open with a C-section to have the twins because of an emergency with the babies .Twins weren't home yet but it was not like she could do anything, so I was doing laundry, organizing my siblings chores (15F, 13M, 4F), taking care of the younger one, unfortunately overwhelmed from being the mom. And dad just leaves to fishing every weekend like it's no biggie and leaves their children to just fend for themselves I guess if I wasn't here. So I am making food, making chores and all of that, real mama chores including dealing with the very moody 4yo that isn't happy dad isn't home and mom can't get out of the bed and cried from about anything that mildly inconveniences her.

Then he comes home from fishing and tuck his dirty clothes god knows where, and one week later finds it again and starts bitching about how no one washed his fishing outfit and I, very tired, very overwhelmed and very stressed, say to him "why, don't you know how to use the damn washing machine?" And he gets like, really offended and says he won't even answer me do he won't offend me, and in my tired state I just answer that all he needs to do is to throw it there with soap and turn it on, he could do that and he gets more mad and storms off to fish (again yes, leaving my mom with basically a recovering surgery with the kids.)

Another detail is that a year before he did the same thing but mom had left for some christian stuff for two weeks, and when I asked him if he could load the washing machine so I could finish fixing lunch, he told me he didn't know how to use it and I taught him. He's 45. It's one of those washing machines with literally everything written on them on how to use.

I also should clarify that he's not mentally disabled or physically disabled, if the fishing trips weren't enough clue for his overall wellness. Mom acted as I should bend to his will and just washes the clothes because it's not worth fighting. My 15yo sister is with me because he makes her clean the sink he uses to clean the fishes every time he fishes. Mom is mad at both of us because we're tearing this family apart and we should just accept dad as he is and do what he says.

Tldr: AITA for asking my dad if he doesn't knows how to do the laundry even after I taught him to do so?

What are these acronyms?

#aita #am i the asshole #eyestrain

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nebraska-is-a-myth · 1 year

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Abuse in 'Runaway Max': A Stranger Things criticism

One thing I know to keep in mind is that the book is told from Max’s perspective, so it's her eyes we experience the world from, and her opinions that guide us through the story. For that we have to value her as a somewhat unreliable narrator, considering she is thirteen at the time and dosnt understand certain things.

A quick timeline to keep in mind because the book handles time very messily:

Billy has just turned 17 by the time Max and Billy first meet.

After Halloween in season 2, Max says she’s known Billy for 7 months, which takes us back to early May.

They move in together three weeks after the wedding in late June, meaning Max and Billy have lived together for a total of 5 months by the time they get to Hawkins.

Neil confiscates Billy's car keys for two months in June, so I’ve taken an educated guess that Max first witnesses Neil's abuse somewhere around august, then in September/October Billy breaks Max’s friends arm, leaving for Hawkins late October.

Now onto the deep dive:

In 'Runaway Max', we learn about the terrible Hargrove family dynamic, and how the Mayfield's learn to navigate that. Max gets a very graphic front row seat of Billy's abuse in chapter 10, and during that chapter Max responds to that situation as any 13 year old would, scared and confused. Despite this however, Billy's image doesn't change in Max’s mind. She has no visible compassion for Billy at any point of the book except from this chapter, and after that she states that she’s actively trying not to care about “his stupid life and his cruel dad”.

From a writing standpoint, choosing this to be a part of Max’s character takes away from her complex experiences in an abusive household. Yes Max is a hardened character, but not exploring these difficult topics of disliking Billy while also feeling sorry for him makes her feel like just another pawn for the audience to make them dislike Billy. The writers could have made the step-siblings dynamic much more interesting to have them navigate this terrifying experience together. But I understand the duffers just wanted another one dimensional antagonist for season 2.

"I'd watched the Hargroves in action. Neil standing over billy with the belt - calling me a stupid little girl - making it clear that he thought I was weak and pointless. Knowing Neil believed that still wasnt as bad as the way Billy had hated me for trying to help him"

I have mixed feelings about this. I feel this description Max gives dutiful to anyone going through that situation, that they would feel disheartened by someone rejecting their help, and verbally berating them for it. However, it’s vitally important to understand the context of Why Billy reacts to Max this way.

During the assault on Billy that Max witnesses, Max calls out and interrupts Neil, trying to diffuse the situation. Neil responds not to Max, but to Billy “Is this the son I raised? A worthless loser who needs a little girl to fight his battles for him?” And then strikes billy again.

Max assumes this to be an attack on her, however that's not what's happening at all. Neil is using Max against Billy. He takes Max’s intervention as a sign of Billy's own weakness, a softness. “Any hint of softness and he would never let me forget” In a way Billy had been trying to teach Max to harden herself so that Neil couldn't find anything to target her for, Billy had been making her more likeable for Neil. And now this softness that Max is showing for Billy, by standing up for him, is getting him punished. It’s been implied before that this was the case, but now we are seeing it explicitly that Billy is being punished for Max’s actions. This chain reaction forces Billy into a position where he cannot be on Maxes side, he cannot be friends with Max, because siding with anyone other than his father equals punishment.

After Neil leaves, we circle back round to the sentence “Sometimes Billy acted like we were in on some big, crucial secret together / like we were in some sort of secret club together - like we could be on the same team” Billy had been trying to tell her from the beginning, they were both members of a club trying to navigate life with Neil Hargrove, bonded by shared experience. They were supposed to be on the same team too, victims of Neil, but Neil has made that impossible by using Max against Billy. “I could see all the ways he hated me” Neil isolates one from the other, Billy resents Max for getting him hurt, and Max resents Billy for rejecting her.

During most of the sections of the book that happen in Hawkins, Max continues to call Billy a “Monster”. However, never Neil. It’s not untrue that Billy has a mean streak, he can be cruel and heartless, most notably when he breaks the arm of one of Max’s friends. The only time this level of violence is seen in Hawkins is during the fight with Steve.

Both of these big outbursts of rage are built up by attacks from Neil. Note: Billy is still an asshole, these are not excuses for his actions only explanations.

Yes, there are two occasions in which Billy grabs hold of Max’s arm, but there is an argument to be made that this is just normal sibling behaviour. Have you never pushed or shoved your sibling before, or been on the receiving end of that physicality. It’s not always pleasant, but it’s not uncommon for siblings to get physical during disagreements. Max is also only distressed by this on the first occasion, “He caught me by the arm, and it wasn't the first time he’s ever touched me, but other times had always been to push me out of the way in the kitchen or flick me on the end of my nose. This time, his fingers closed hard around my elbow” - however the second and last time goes like this “He reached out fast and caught me by the wrist”. Those are the only times Billy is ever physical with Max.

Despite this, Billy is still the monster. “Billy was the closest thing to one that I had ever known - this was what it meant to live with the monster.” Monster singular. Billy is the most terrible thing living in the Hargrove home, not the man who beats his son.

Personally I find something off putting with Max ranking Billy as a worse monster than Neil. During the night at the byers she says "I understood now that Neil was in his head, and that meant he was just as dangerous as his father. Worse because Neil was cruel and frightening but he cared how things looked on the outside. Billy was crazy" Max isn't stupid, she knows Neil is a bad person, and maybe from Maxes point of view Billy is worse than Neil because Neil hasn't ever physically hurt her. But from a writer's point of view, to say that the victim is worse than the abuser? That is both dangerous and honestly disgusting. To call Billy crazy, and insinuate that he’s acting like a ‘bad victim’ because he doesn't pretend that everything is normal is so hurtful to victims of abuse who see themselves in Billy.

Continuing this thought, Max then goes on to compare Billy to a recently possessed Will. Which, first off, comparing abuse is never okay. But what Max says is almost worse, "Will had turned into something terrible and frightening, but even with the mind flayer working through him, he was trying not to let it. He'd almost gotten us killed, but you couldn't blame him because he didn't ask for this. He was trying so hard to stop it" Is the author trying to say that Billy should try harder to not let the abuse he has been experiencing at the hands of his father since before he was ten, affect him? Because if Brenna Yovanoff is using Will as a ‘good’ example of a victim of parental abuse, and using him to discount Billy's own experiences, then I’m sorry but who let this book go to print?

Obviously as a character Max choosing this comparison means very little to her because she doesn't know about Lonnie, but the writers do. Comparing Billy to will is a choice.

Billy and will have both experienced abuse from their fathers. Will is on one side of the spectrum of victims, quiet, timid and apologetic. Billy is on the opposite end of that spectrum, his experiences have hardened him, made him angry about what's happening to him. Billy isn't quiet, he’s an asshole and he has issues with authority, but the one thing that sets Billy and Will apart is the fact that Billy is still experiencing that abuse.

Will is a survivor, Billy isn't.

To imply that "you can't blame Will because he didn't ask for it", but it’s okay to blame Billy, does that mean we are supposed to think Billy is asking for it?

There are choices writers make in the information they reveal to their readers, the phrasing that is used and the comparisons they make. It speaks volumes that while Will is praised for his experiences and bravery with his dad, Billy is called a monster for acting out because of those same experiences.

I mean, tell me you're a writer who doesn't understand the complex reactions to abuse without telling me you only care about “good” reactions to abuse.

#stranger things #billy hargrove #max mayfield #runaway max #stranger things book #neil hargrove #abuse mention #stranger things meta #I have a lot of feelings about the way Billys abuse is portrayed and mostly forgotten about in the show #runaway max makes me physically sick with how it describes billy and max's indifferance to Billys abuse #I love when shows have no idea what theyre talking about when it comes to the spectrum of abuse #nebraska speaks

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tarisilmarwen · 10 months

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Rebels Rewatch: "The Antilles Extraction"

WEDGE WEDGE WEDGE WEDGE!

Hey, they had the budget to give at least one of these Rebel commanders a face!

This opening scene with the unfortunate redshirts serves two major purposes:

Establishes that the Rebellion needs pilots, and not just pilots but good pilots. (Recall the hilarity that in Legends canon they tested Wedge repeatedly for Force Sensitivity because they refused to believe he was just that good, lol.)

And it sets a baseline of the cruelty we can expect from the Empire. They wipe out this whole flotilla, even though the transport surrendered and is unarmed. Call Forward to Saw's Modus Operandi perhaps? At the very least hinting at the kind of blind dogmatic fanaticism the Empire encourages in its ranks.

Important to note: When the tips of a TIE are painted like that... that's an ace. That is someone you do not want to mess with in aerial combat.

Once again, the A-wings get a really raw deal in this show.

Hngh, Ezra's hopeful expression when Sato mentions "Fulcrum", he was so ready to believe that Ahsoka had somehow survived. *cries*

I think everyone in fandom and their dog guessed that the new Fulcrum was Kallus, lol. Once again, really should have gotten to see some of that arc onscreen. Didn't have to be much, just a scene or two here and there showing him researching into the Geonosian massacre or something and then attempting to get in touch with the Rebellion.

Ezra's objections to Sabine going in undercover play a little bit back into his overactive Hero Complex, that the holocron took advantage of to tempt him. Even though he's sworn off the Dark Side at this point, the underlying causes for why he was flirting with it in the first place--to prevent anything else bad from happening to the people he cares about--are still in effect. So having to wait in the wings and surrender control of an uncertain situation that could prove dangerous to his family is still going to be a source of distress for him.

Unfortunately, as Hera points out, Ezra's face has acquired lots more notoriety (at least in Imperial school circles), so Sabine's the one who's gotta do it this time. And she does not sound too eager about it lol.

This show is so good at lovely environments.

Sabine is the tiniest one there lol.

Kanan putting a supportive hand on Ezra's shoulder 'cause he knows Ezra's worrying. <333

"I'm just not a fan of these solo missions." "Unless it's you." That is kind of how his Hero Complex works, he doesn't want anyone else putting themselves in harm's way, would rather take on the dangers himself so that nothing bad happens to anyone else.

("Tari did the fandom have uncharitable interpretations of this moment too?" Ohhhhh yes you betcha. Fandom, please let the boys care about and worry for their women without turning it into some kind of chauvinism PLEASE.)

Oh wow, that was a snippet of Luke's theme transposed to minor key, that was a brilliant musical move.

HI WEDGE!

Officer Prissypants immediately shutting down any attempt for the cadets to maintain their individual personhood, insisting on callsigns only. See fandom, this what actual cult-like indoctrination looks like.

(Probably one of the reasons Wedge was bristling under their control, he's got too big a force of personality to keep under wraps.)

So another reason why I think the hints of Force Sensitive!Sabine in the Ahsoka trailers have to be a big red herring or else a giant-ass dumb retcon? Recall if you will the Empire has methods of testing for Force Sensitivity, if anything about Sabine's skills as a pilot here had pinged them as a little too good they would have flagged her and called for an Inquisitor to come investigate. (Even given that we lost three at Malachor.)

Or you know... just shot her.

Oh look, basically the same in-field situation they just showed us in the opening! Designed as a test of pilot loyalty: Unquestioningly follow these orders to blow up this ship or you're a filthy traitor to the Emperor.

We can see now a glimpse of how the Empire suppresses all individual thinking, personality, creativity, and humanity in its members, turns them into mindless drones to be pointed as weapons towards the Empire's enemy. Also that the Empire nominally has standards that purport to offer a sense of fair play and moral rule, but that it will immediately ignore its own rules when it suits them, again, in order to go after and obliterate its enemies.

Rebels said watch out for anyone who tells you not to ask questions or express doubts or concerns and who operates on Rules For Thee.

Love that they put the Ghost in the simulation lol.

You gotta know Sabine is chafing under this reprimand from Vult Skerris (the ace in our opener), this is her cadet days all over again, being told to sit down and shut up like a good girl and not worry her pretty little head off.

Wedge already admiring Sabine for her guts and dropping narrative hints that he's one of the defectors. We knew this already, of course, because it's Wedge, but still.

HI HI PRYCE! HI KALLUS. :D

Kallus must be so frustrated that ISB sent him personally to root out the sympathizers they learned about lol.

(Unless he volunteered for it himself, to try and cover their escape and help them if he could?)

Lol the stink eye he gives Pryce.

Sabine lucks out and stumbles across the very self-same sympathizers conversing in the hallway and of course no one is surprised to see Wedge.

Really can't praise the environment and lighting work on this show enough.

Sabine carefully feels Wedge out and confirms he's a defector and reveals herself.

Welcome to the Rebellion, hope you're good at Indy Ploys lolol.

Ezra's agitated pacing as he worries about Sabine. <3

And Kanan speaking directly to the insecurities and anxieties and fears that drove Ezra to consult the Sith holocron.

(Once again the parallels to Anakin "I need to be powerful enough to stop people from dying" Skywalker are great. The heart of Jedi philosophy is realizing you are not in control, and letting go of your fear of loss. Per Lucas, it doesn't mean you don't fight to preserve life if you can, but that if it is their time, you accept it. You don't go down into Hades to get them back, you don't break the laws of the universe to spare yourself that pain. You love them, and let them pass away. You let go.)

Ezra's immediate, "Of course I trust her." awwwwww.

Ahhh Kallus went along to be all, "We have investigated ourselves thoroughly and have found we have done nothing wrong." re. the defectors.

Hi Hobbie! Hi redshirt that absolutely bites it because we don't know him from the OT!

Still loving how Sabine is tinier than everyone there.

"These Rebels you say are waiting for us, do you trust them?" "With my life." UNQUESTIONING FAITH IN EZRA TO SWOOP IN AND SAVE HER AWWWW.

Yeah yeah Kanan is there too but Ezra's the one in the command seat LET ME HAVE THIS IT'S CUTE.

"Come on Ezra... where are you?" See, Sabine specifies him too.

The Rebel Alliance fanfare as the CR90 jumps in, yay!

"Sabine? Hope we're not too late." "Right on time." Sue me, I love cute banter.

And I hear the "Shenanigans" cue in heroic horns there.

Pryce reveals herself to be Actually Pretty Clever, having rigged the TIEs with kill switches beforehand.

HA HA HA HA NOT THE LAST TIME SABINE WOULD PLEAD WITH EZRA TO ESCAPE A PERILOUS SITUATION. *weeps in finale feelings*

And he still hates leaving people behind. But Kanan's right, they have to apply some Jedi non-attachment in this case or risk being unable to help her later. On account of, you know, being dead themselves.

Pryce waltzes in being fabulously nasty and effortlessly reveals Sabine. Kinda wonder if the Imps just had this interrogation table on hand or if Pryce brought it with her.

Ooof Sabine's comment to Kallus here about "they found someone to do your job" had to hurt.

Have I mentioned I love Pryce yet? I love her, she's so casually patronizing and cruel and I adore that she's also a pretty effective brawler.

Love this little fight, it's not pretty or civilized at all, all grappling and dirty tricks.

Wedge is not quite skilled enough in the Indy Plot to pull off escapes like Ezra and Sabine yet lololol.

"Tell Garazeb Orrelios we're even." <333333 I love him.

Shades of Poe Dameron in Wedge's "I can fly anything." boast.

We sacrificed speed for durability, a smart decision when up against an ace like Skerris, actually. The bomber takes three direct hits without shattering like a normal TIE would. And Wedge handles it with much more maneuverability that it'd normally be flown.

Ho ho man this hero shot of the CR90 emerging from the clouds. :)

More adorable Sabezra banter. <333

Lol Hobbie not giving Sabine his real name (Derek Klivian btw) so she has to awkwardly give his nickname to Sato.

And congrats, we have successfully completed another Friendship Fetch Quest!

I remember being kind of bored with this episode the first time around (Sabine was kind of the least interesting member of the main cast for me, up until Season Three) but I think I appreciate it a lot more now. The look into the workings of the Imperial propaganda and indoctrination machine is illuminating, Wedge is pretty cute and it's nice to see him before he was a noted Rebel hero, and Ezra's concern over Sabine makes my shipper heart warm.

Amazingly, however, we managed to completely avoid getting any kind of backstory for Sabine out of an episode where she literally goes back to an Imperial Academy. So I guess if I had to nitpick this episode it might have been kind of nice to see her have to struggle a little bit more with being there, besides the one regretful look in the beginning and the bristling at her reprimand in the middle.

But aside from that, this episode was actually a pretty nice one.

#star wars #star wars rebels #ezra bridger #space dad and his precious pumpkin child #sabezra #rebels rewatch #liveblog

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skania · 9 months

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Replies to AquaKane Asks (Part 1)

Tumblr has an image limit so I'll have to split my replies into different posts 😂

The first 30 replies are here under the cut, the rest will follow in a few days or so!

It's kind of crazy that it's been a month since you sent this message and we still don't know what's going to happen with Miyako and Ichigo lol

I think that's the part some people don't get. Aqua didn't need to date Akane to protect her, he could've simply stayed close friends with her. He chose to enter a romantic relationship with her after deciding that it may be okay for him to fall in love. Aqua isn't the self-serving type, he couldn't even bring himself to lead Akane on back when he wanted to use her. Why would he start to do so after he no longer wants to use her?

Yeah some of the comment sections feel like echo-chambers. Doesn't matter though, the entire fandom could be against it and I'd still find Aqua and Akane's dynamic the most compelling in the manga. Not my fault Aka's writing (so far) has been at his best when it comes to them 😂

Lmao you're right, she has been the closest to therapy that he has gotten so far 😂

I'm curious about how Mengo would portray Akane, but I'm keeping my expectations very low. Better to be surprised if it happens than to be disappointed if it doesn't. I wouldn't mind getting a chapter about Himekawa though!

Thanks anon!! I think the characters involved in the movie arc are supposed to be the ones that will be important to the narrative, but we'll have to wait and see. It may take years at this point considering the constant breaks, so if that keeps up I may also just drop it and pick it up again when Akane shows up lol

I'm quite late so I hope you've been having good days, anon!

I'm not sure if Aka would let Mengo write anything that is actually plot-relevant, but I'd love to be wrong! Personally, I think seeing Akane's colleagues react to to the current her would be a nice .5 chapter, but seeing Akane may be too much to ask for at this point lol

Hmmm I think it'd be kind of forced to have Akane find the body, because why would she be looking for Yura in the first place? There's no way for her to know that there's a connection between her and Kamiki. That said, Aka literally had a Crow Child/Deus-ex-machina-in-wait show up when he needed to pull Ruby into the plot, so crazier things have happened 😂 I rolled with that so I'll roll with anything that brings back Akane back to the forefront.

In all honesty anon, I have been trying not to think about it so I can take whatever Aka comes up with in stride.

But the way I see it, Akane can more or less let Aqua have his way when it comes to the movie, but she needs to stop whatever is coming after. The best way to do it would be by finding an alternative way of bringing Kamiki to justice, but that won't take care of Aqua's guilt complex and of the reasons pushing him to sacrifice himself like that. So I'd like to imagine that Akane may recruit the help of the people close to Aqua in order to stand in his way and make him understand that his life has value, but that may just be wishful thinking on my part. It's hard to guess without having more insight into her current mindset.

I definitely do think that she hasn't gone after Kamiki again because Aqua asked her not to though, so Akane must've understood that she was going about things the wrong way. I hope that she has realized just how reckless she was being.

I don't think Frill needs to know the details, just knowing that they dated for that long and broke up recently is enough. Not to mention that the first thing Akane does after saying hi is asking how Aqua is, so I feel like it wasn't very hard to tell that pulling the Aqua card may catch Akane's interest.

I think Akane knows that Aqua is beyond the point where he can simply be talked out of his revenge, so she likely assumed that a conversation would lead them nowhere.

Anon it isn't only your brain, we definitely haven't gotten enough Akane 😢

(So sorry for the image quality of your ask, anon! I originally split it in two but Tumblr's image limit got in my way. I delete asks as I go so it's easier to keep track of what I have replied to, so I had to take a screenshot of my screenshot ;-;)

Personally, I respect that! I totally get why some people wouldn't feel comfortable with it. In my case, I've made my peace with it because it's not like he is an adult that magically found himself in a teenager's body and that is now hooking up with teenagers. He has lived as Aqua from birth, so he is going through puberty, growing-pains, etc. the way any boy his age would. At that point you have to make concessions, because it'd be unfair to expect him to wait until he is physically thirty to date someone. It'd also defeat the entire purpose of reincarnating, since this is supposed to be his chance at living a happier, more fulfilling life.

I think that as long as there isn't a big emotional and/or intellectual gap between him and the person he is dating, then it's all good. Luckily, Akane clears that condition pretty easily!

It'll be lots of fun to see Akane play one of them! I wonder if she will play the girl from Viewpoint B?

Don't Aqua and Goro share a tag? "Hoshino Aquamarine | Goro" is how it appears for me.

No worries anon! I have seen people trying to clearly separate Aqua and Goro but I don't think things necessarily work that way, so I understand why you had a hard time doing so. Do let me know if you had a breakthrough, though!

Thanks for asking anon! I do have Twitter but I rarely use it, so Tumblr is definitely where I go talk fandom :D

Anon I've already written like thirty posts about it lol

Ideally? I'd love for Akane to:

Realize that Aqua is Goro and confront him about it

Team up with Ruby and everyone else in order to accomplish her goal of saving Aqua

Be instrumental in getting Kamiki

Recognize her own worth and to have a heart to heart with Aqua, because if they end up together I'd like it to be after Akane is certain that she isn't sharing his heart

I'd also love for her to continue being recognized for how brilliant she is as an actress and to keep getting all the prizes under the sun, because she deserves all of them.

All in all, I want her to end the manga feeling happy and fulfilled with all aspects of her life!

No can do, anon! I want you all to trust me that if you ask me to keep something private, I will keep it private 😂

Don't remind me anon, I want the answer to all those questions too!! 😭

Thank you so much for your kind words, anon! I think the one carrying the fandom on his back is Aka, so he better feed us something soon 😂

Now that you mention it, I think I don't! I've been trying to stick to their relationship the way it's presented in the manga, so that hasn't left me much room to imagine what they're like when we don't see them. I'll definitely think about it, though!

edit: after reading another anon ask, I'd like to headcanon that Aqua snuck in Akane's graduation ceremony and/or at least watched her from afar lol

I think my issue with that line of thinking are the implications. Because if Aqua was never willing and/or open to the possibility of falling for her, then that means that he was leading her on when he decided to date her for real, which would be incredibly selfish of him and very unfair to Akane. Personally, I would not ship Akane with Aqua if I thought that was the case.

Unless you're talking about something else?

In either case, I do agree that it would be great to get a third kiss with a proper confession!

My thoughts about that are here 1 and here 2!

Thank you so much for dropping by anon, I'm happy you've enjoyed the read!

NOOOOO I didn't think of that! You're right, Akane must have graduated by now :( Okay this calls for a headcanon, hopefully Aqua found a way to sneak in and see her from afar 😭

The stairs leading to the bridge are next to a road while the stairs in ch 116 are surrounded by grass and trees, so I'm afraid they aren't the same anon.

I'm sure it's just a matter of time before the AquaKane bridge makes its grand comeback, though :D

I'd love to say yes anon, I'd have loved to see Akane tell Aqua some of the things Aqua told Ruby 😭 But in truth, I think that Aqua wouldn't be able to move on knowing that Ruby and Ichigo were planning to have revenge. So I think that if Aqua and Akane had been honest to each other during that conversation, the best case scenario would be AquaKane working together and coming up with a less self-destructive plan than the one they came up with on their own.

That would be amazing, anon! I love the way you think and I'm praying Aka will think the same lmao

Thank you for the kind words too, I'm honored!

My advice would be to just mute it/block it, anon! I never joined it because I always avoid joining subreddits for fandoms involving love triangles, but I did check it while the anime was airing because it seemed like an easy way to keep up with news and translations. After that, Reddit wouldn't stop recommending random posts to me, and just like you I sometimes bit the bait as well. So I just muted it. Out of sight, out of mind lol

I think whether or not that works for you would also depend on what you get from checking the subreddit. For example, if you just check it to keep up with Onk news, you may as well follow the OnK Twitter accounts to get the news straight from the source.

Good question, anon! It is entirely possible that feeling like her bond with him was just adding to Aqua's guilt, aka the opposite of what she wanted, brought her to tears.

Personally, I do think that played a part in it but I also think there's another reason to why Akane's demeanor changes. When they talk on the bridge, Akane says that she doesn't quite understand what kind of relationship she has with Aqua and what she feels for him. In Chapter 78, she begins her speech by saying that she can finally put her feelings into words. Not to mention, one thing is thinking about the possibility of parting ways with someone and another thing is actually doing it.

So I think that once the moment of truth comes, Akane finds that parting ways with Aqua is more painful than she thought it would be :(

No, as far as we know Aqua and Akane have never addressed how they feel for each other 😭

Hello there anon!

Hmmm I don't have anything against that take either, if people enjoy their relationship and find that it resonates more with them that way, then good for them!

I personally don't see them that way though, since we have Aqua outright admitting that he feels lust and and that he has "definitely" thought about it. We also have Akane blushing up a storm when she remembers Aqua kissing her, wanting Aqua to see her in that gorgeous dress she wore when she received the award, etc. So I think that Akane is just inexperienced and Aqua on the emotionally-stunted side due to all the trauma he has gone through.

That's just my personal take, though!

I have to agree, anon! The way I see it, there are two possible reasons for why it was skipped: either we're going the AquaKane route (so it's being saved for later because it'd say too much) or we aren't (so it was skipped because it isn't relevant).

So if Aka is going for AquaKane, then I do definitely think we'll see some flashbacks to their time together as we go!

#onk asks convos #aquakane asks #I hate the image limit though I wanted to use some gifs and couldn't 😭

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snorkling-in-sodasea · 1 month

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The Big Question on Blitzo

Yeah, I forgot to put this in my last post so I'll put it here. You see, everyone goes on and on and on about how Blitzo needs the grimoire to do his business and just the grimoire and Stolas holds it over his head. Now, what Stolas does is despicable but there's something else that I hardly hear anyone else mention. The most buzz about the matter to any capacity that we got was soon after Unhappy Campers aired.

I made an anonymous ask before about why Blitzo doesn't try escaping from Stolas and yeah, getting an explanation from another commenter, it made me embarrassed that I even asked. Like I asked something so incredibly obvious and I legit needed someone to spell it out. But there's still the other thing I was wondering that, as far as I know, hasn't been answered.

Why the fuck were the Asmodean crystals not a thing at the start?

I mean, yeah, Viv isn't good at writing, but that's the out-of-universe reason. In universe, though... we got nothing.

Seriously, there's so many instances where Viv and the other writers don't put in even some throwaway lines as an explanation for shit. Maybe they'll explain this but that's a very strong maybe. Because at this point, my expectations are so lowered that I know that I have to stop hoping for things that I want to see. Like how I hoped the Ozzie and Fizz mid season special would show us how those two met and got closer, only to get Daddy Issues number 5 or something.

But anyways, Unhappy Campers showed that the crystals are better than the grimoire in every single way. More portable, more abundant, doesn't require reading the spells or anything, just need a touch of the button or something, imps are apparently allowed to have them if Barbie is any indication, they even readily provide human disguises. Really, it's the whole shebang.

So really, in universe, what reason is there for Blitzo to not have a crystal from the start? Why did Blitzo think it was more worth it or at least less trouble to go out of his way to break into a demonic prince's home and steal something that said prince WILL eventually notice is missing, if only because of the Harvest Moon Festival? What reason is there for Moxxie or Millie or even Loona to not have any crystals themselves?

Maybe Blitzo lost all legal permission to use crystals and is blacklisted or something. Maybe there's a very specific and exact process to make it okay to own and use a crystal and Blitzo doesn't have the patience and/or time, not if he wants to survive NOW. Maybe there's something in the crystals that let higher-ups know that they're being used illegally so Blitzo and the others can't just mug a succubus or incubus or their crystals. Maybe Loona is too young and then too lazy to bother, especially since she's not let out into the field by her dad. Maybe Moxxie just cared about getting away from his father and took the chance to leave, having no time to really get anything from his home to make surviving and getting by easier, including any Asmodean crystals. Maybe Millie is influenced by her parents who have pride in thinking more with fists than with actual brains so it never occurred to her to get any crystals.

Then again, it's not good writing if I have to guess or speculate all the reasons why Blitzo and anyone else in I.M.P. don't have a better version of the grimoire. And this is a super fucking important question, why don't they have any crystals right from the get go?

Apparently, Viv and the other writers want to make it that Blitzo has a messy, complex affair with Stolas because the owl has something that the former is interested in and needs to secure having it. If that's what they want to do, then obviously, they can do that. Except if they're going to include something that ultimately makes the grimoire worthless in the grand scheme of things, then we NEED an explanation for why things are the way they are. And as far as I know, Viv and no one else on the writing team even said why on twitter or a youtube livestream so we don't have an answer both in the show and outside of it

Really, as long as Blitzo is still going to rob a demon prince and take something that the absence of WILL be noticed eventually, then it's only natural that he suffers for it in some shape or form. It's stupid for him to expect getting away with it, especially if he's going to, for whatever fucking reason, think that it's better to do that than to just take some damn crystals from some ordinary succubi and/or incubi. Considering how Blitzo doesn't deserve the sexual coercion and really could never have seen it coming, though, I guess I just wish the writers could have made him suffer different consequences for his poorly thought-out plan

#helluva boss #critical #blitzo

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siriannatan · 1 year

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Combat Maids

Well, after days of complete writer's block and mess at home here we are. Chapter 2. I'll drop the Pinterest reference board for this fic just so it's easier to find :}

Over the next week fWhip carefully observed the maids. Mostly the head maid but he certainly wasn't about to ignore all the staff changes and the sudden influx of new maids. He did tell Scott but all he said was that all security matters were fully up to fWhip's digression. More security needs to be hired? Go ahead and hire some, they don't have to dress up but then Scott does not want to see them unless necessary. Someone needs to be fired or beat up? Go ahead. As long as fWhip continued to look cute he was the head of security.

At least he didn't have to follow Scott everywhere he went. So a week after the uniform debut, with Scott spending the day with his brother. Very corrupt and overprotective politician brother. Xornoth. fWhip decided to sneak around the mansion and investigate what the maids could be up to. Lucky for him, with the whole staff fluctuation and Scott not liking seeing normal maids many of them did not recognise fWhip as a bodyguard and just assumed he was a normal maid.

He didn't find much other than whatever head maid was up to had to wait for something to happen. No talk he eavesdropped on told him anymore and all the 'maids' seemed to know at least some of what was going on. He'd rather not risk asking too many questions. He did overhear the head maid mumble about 'that pesky guard' once when going out with Scott so he assumed it had to do with him being actually able to do his job. Maybe someone was plotting - again - to kill Scott and infiltrated the mansion and fWhip and his skill and competence and maid dress were in the way?

Very possibly they hired an assassin to get him out of the way. And knowing to expect that was a good start. He could use it to lure the assassin out.

He made sure the head maid knew when he was officially out and even told her when Xornoth - or his staff - would have boss back. And that he'd be checking the security cameras around the mansion. She was uncharacteristically okay with him just going about around the mansion. A good sign that he was right that there was a highly skilled assassin, brought into an absurdly complex plot just to kill him.

So fWhip went about checking the cameras and other security equipment. Pretending he was at all not aware or worried about assassins.

He managed to go through about half of the mansion before any trouble started. And trouble came in a form of a lanky and undoubtedly very skilled, and if fWhip wasn't expecting him deadly avian assassin. Blonde and handsome assassin but that wasn't important at the moment. "I should probably thank the 'head maid' for being too suspicious," fWhip huffed once he had the assassin pushed to the ground and his wrists in a firm grip. "I'll assume she had something to do with you."

"And why should I tell you anything?" the assassin asked, still attempting to free himself.

"I'm not expecting you to know much, they probably just brought you here to kill me, so I doubt you know much," fWhip chuckled and a sudden tense-up had him guessing he was right. "I would have a much harder time fighting you if I had to keep Scott safe so they kind off messed up with their planning. I'll guess they didn't want someone from outside handling the 'important' task so... how much?"

"What?"

"How much will I need to pay you to ditch them and work for my boss? The maid dress is not a requirement, he just doesn't like uncute things near him," fWhip explained with a quick clarification of his outfit. "So? Would fifty thousand a month be enough?" he said his old pay from before the dress. Scott has raised it after, a uniform fee he called the extra fifteen thousand...

The assassin likely did a quick calculation. "Does the dress come with a bonus?" he asked, going completely slack.

"Fifteen thousand," fWhip said a bit dumbfounded by the question. Would hiring someone so greedy possibly cause an issue? Maybe but Scott had different issues. "I can even introduce you to my tailor," he added with a smirk. What an amusing bird.

"Deal," the assassin said almost instantly. "The uniform's worth it. Jimmy by the way," he added along an introduction as fWhip let him go. He was still a bit wary of the blonde, canary avian. "I'm honestly shocked I didn't feel that you were ready for a fight, I usually sense the danger."

"What can I say, I'm rather good at my job," fWhip grinned as his phone made a loud noise. It was time he left to get Scott. "I'll go and grab boss, I can drop you by the tailor on the way," he said.

Jimmy accepted and sneaked off so no maid would catch on that their 'deal with that annoying bodyguard' trick failed.

As expected, Jimmy knew very little about the actual plot or who was even behind it. The 'head maid' was the one to hire him and she was not the boss of the whole plan. He also raised a concern that fWhip was scared to raise himself. Could they trust this whole thing would not happen again? Hiring good house staff came with risks of further infiltration attempts. They decided to talk about it later when the current issue was dealt with but Jimmy did say he would not mind helping around the mansion. For a bonus pay of a standard maid that is. Greedy bastard but a right one. That would keep Scott the safest...

Introducing him to Katherine was as fast as she was excited to make a new 'special uniform' and fWhip was off to pick Scott up with a plan on how to deal with the 'maid rebellion' in his mind.

Scott was excited when fWhip said there'd be a new bodyguard. And they were willing to wear the uniform. He'd of course prefer to see them first but fWhip assured them they were cute. Very cute he even said so Scott decided to trust him on this one. And he'd be meeting them after his afternoon tea and cake he'd be having at a patio overlooking the gardens. What a good time for that.

He was a bit shocked fWhip was nowhere to be seen but the maids assured him he had an important thing to do before introducing the new bodyguard. Reasonable enough a reason. He was just a bit bummed fWhip didn't tell him himself. Oh well. He was going shopping the next day and would possibly have two pretty guards with him. If only the rest of the staff were half as cute.

As he was about to lose himself in the thoughts of pretty maid bodyguards the head maid. One that worked for him for at least four years pulled out a sword. That was new. Usually, it was fWhip that was armed. Oh, she was pointing it at him and saying something. Oh and now she was charging but he couldn't really do anything. Was his tea spiked with something? Wouldn't poison be more effective?

He was about to die, wasn't he? Maybe fWhip and the new hire would avenge him? That would be nice. Avenged by two cute guys in cute outfits. Though. Would they keep the outfits without him around? Probably not. Would death hurt?

While morbid thoughts swirled in Scott's brain whole world almost seemed to slow down as the currently former head maid was pushed away by fWhip. He was as cute as when Scott saw him not even an hour ago. His cute, half-dragon maid-bodyguard saviour.

"You... How are you still alive? He said he's killed you?!" whatever was in his tea seemed to start wearing off as fWhip calmly stood between Scott and about fifty armed boring at all not cute maids.

"The pay with you guys is garbage," Scott heard a totally new voice. A cute voice. Hopefully with a cute face.

Scott kind of stopped listening to the former head maid talk as fWhip quickly moved to administer the antidote for whatever was in the tea. He could see the source of the cute voice. A very cute avian with golden feathers and hair. Tall, thin, very, very pretty. Swinging a sword as the maids advanced at him. Most importantly he wore a maid dress. The new bodyguard. And the water from the ponds around the gardens raised and formed into more blades.

"Assassinations are more of my speciality," the pretty man said and Scott smiled like an idiot. He'd blame it on whatever was in the tea. Oh, and the cute wings coming off his hips flapped. And his skirt was short. And his under-the-knee boots had cute ribbons. And there was a small chest window. And the short sleeves were see-through and utterly adorable. And as short as the skirt was it still had a bit of a slit and Scott maybe really had a thing for men in tights.

Oh... and now there was blood. And as hot as blondie looked there was no way Scott could look at that so he closed his eyes with a whine. "I approve the new hire, on the downside, I think we'll be out of maids when he's done," he sighed, even listening to the combat was making his stomach churn. "fWhip? Where did you even find someone who can rival you in cuteness and who's also willing to dress up for me?"

"Whoever's behind the maid rebellion hired him to kill or at least keep me out the way. I offered him better pay so he's working for you now," fWhip explained and Scott could feel the chair he was in be moved. With a deep breath, he dared to crack one eye open. No visual of the maids being killed. And fWhip did a cute whistle clearly looking in that direction. "I'm lucky the head maid made me suspect something was up. I'd have a lot of trouble if he surprised me," he said with a nervous chuckle. "As for the housework... Until we find someone better me and Jimmy can try to do it?"

"Oh, I'll add standard maid pay if you do, I really want to be careful when choosing who works here now," Scott instantly nodded. "I don't mind if it means we have to stay at home a bit more often as long as I can be around you two doing chores, for safety of course," he added with a grin. "And Jimmy?"

"The new hire, he's actually an assassin but the pay convinced him to work for you," fWhip smiled with a tiny curtsy.

"All done but I say one of us goes around the mansion to check for any traps or stragglers," suddenly Jimmy was in Scott's view, not a drop of blood on him and the dress. "And maybe move boss inside, I made a bit of a mess," oh, and his smile was cute too."

"I'll go, you rest," fWhip nodded and was off and Scott was left with just one cute guard to stare at.

And he was even cuter up close. With really blue eyes and a little frilly headband a bit crooked on his head. fluttering his wings as he looked over the garden for any more danger. "Any idea what they added to my tea?" Scott asked. He wasn't really all that curious. Just wanted to hear Jimmy talk more.

"Just a mild numbing poison. Nothing dangerous, they were honestly pretty bad at assassinations," Jimmy explained with a sigh. Oh. There were two smaller wings on the sides of his head and they too fluttered all cute-like. "You got pretty lucky they got me to try and kill fWhip if I were to come after you... you'd probably be dead."

Scott knew he probably should have been freaked out by that. But Jimmy was too cute. And he had cute lace wrist cuffs and... Scott just wanted to touch him. "You're really cute, I was honestly expecting you'd have the same uniform as fWhip," Scott grinned and gently flipped Jimmy's skirt as a test. He was maybe pushing it but it was better to let Jimmy know how much he appreciated the uniform early on.

"I'm sorry about the terrible mess I made off the garden," Jimmy said as calm as he was the whole time. Was he not bothered? Scott would not push much more but he kept on carefully to not flip anything too far up played with Jimmy's skirt while bothering him with boring questions about his favourite cakes, cookies and sweets until fWhip was back saying the mansion was safe and a new batch of tea was in process of being made.

Scott gladly followed him to a different part of the mansion with Jimmy staying close behind. Overall it was a good day. He might be down the whole house staff but had a new cute bodyguard and fWhip and Jimmy agreed to - with extra pay as Scott promised - take care of the mansion as well until better, more loyal staff could be found. There was still the matter of his outing the next day but one guard - maid - would be enough. He could give fWhip some time to get used to being the new (temporary) head maid.

#my stuff #my stories #fanfiction #fanfic #empires smp #empiresshipping #empires fwhip #empires scott #empires jimmy #flower husbands #scfwhip #scfwhimmy #fwhimmy

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sugarqueen-katara · 3 months

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Netflix Avatar: the Last Airbender review

So, I just got around to watching ep 1 and I wanted to share my thoughts. I'll probably do this after each episode, but I am slow at watching things so this might take a while.

To make this more fair, I'll review the show as a seperate show and then review it as an avatar fan.

Maybe minor spoilers ahead so be aware!

As an individual show:

The context was repeated many times in different ways - it was a bit overkill but as "a new viewer" it makes the situation very clear

the genocide was such an emotional scene and very well done, but a little "convenient" (Aang leaving to clear his head at the perfect time and all the airbenders being in one location at the same moment that the fire nation arrives)

the characters seem cool maybe? Don't know much about them ~ yet

The bending looks epic

Overall a good and entertaining introduction episode, interested to see where this goes.

As an avatar fan

the intro sequence being done by Kyoshi is an interesting choice. I love Kyoshi as a character, but what is her relevance to Aang's story. If they wanted to do an avatar wouldn't Roku make more sense? Also the narration no longer being Katara reflects the changes of how important her role is to the story (will talk about more later)

No major complaints about the scenes at the air temple found the whole a great addition to the story.

Ok let's address Aang's flying. So first we can all agree that it goes against LOK lore. However, the other thing that bothers me is it is not clear when he needs a glider and when he doesn't. If he could fly why does he need a glider at all?

Now for the water tribe siblings! Let's start with Sokka. Some of his jokes were good some were meh... He is just kind of a jerk ~ which obviously is also the case in the animation ~ so I guess it depends on how the other episodes explore his character and develop his arc

Now for my poor girl Katara. They fail to show her complex character. We don't get any Katara sass or anger. All we get is caring Katara. There is not this duality that we usually see with her. She was also robbed of narrator and basically main or second main character to the show. The animation sets her up as the driving force of the show, now she's just kind of there. ~ Also I wanted to address everyone complaining about Katara's actress being the weakest. So first of all please don't send hate to Kiawentiio (I saw really awful comments under her instgram post which is really no ok) - I'm not saying your not allowed to think this, but maybe don't spam it under her posts. Next, I personally haven't had an issue with her acting so far, if anything the writing probably needs to be improved. And for anyone who says she can't show emotions go watch Anne with an E to see that she can act and the issues in the LA might be with directing (maybe I'm just biased because I love that show)

Aang is ok... his fear of responsibly shows but his goofiness is absent.

Now I am not the biggest Zuko stan ( don't get me wrong his character and arc is so well done in the animation he is just not my favourite), but I feel like he is the one character that I enjoy and have no complaints about so far in the LA

There’s something off with Iroh can’t really put it into words, but he just doesn’t have the same effect with the lines he delivers (this is only the first episode so I’ll have to see if it gets better)

Now, since I am largely a kataang blog ~ yes I am disappointed with the lack of penguin sledding but more in a sense that it removes Aang’s goofy behaviour. Then again, this isn't that big of a deal. Also I enjoyed the change of gyasto helping Aang out of the avatar state (it gives a different vibe but I’m not against it).

Overall, it is 100x better than the movie. Is it perfect? Not at all. So far,I think the main problem is that they tell instead of show. If you are able to detach it from the original (which is hard for me as you can probably tell from the review) and not think about what's missing it can be really enjoyable.

These are just my opinions. If you don't agree no need to hate or argue✨✨ (I hope this isn't an issue since it is not on Twitter)

#atla #natla #netflix atla #netflix avatar #netflix atla review #avatar the last airbender #natla spoilers #honestly I just went justice for katara

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macbethz · 4 months

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I visited your blog to find that great edit you made of Alex Wilder again, because I think it's just great and one of the best edits i've seen of Alex. I was wondering though, what did you think of Rowell's time on the comic series. I really do admire how much she cares about the characters, I really do, but I had a massive problem with the progression of the stories. I just feel like it would have been better if it was in a show rather than a one comic that comes out once a month

OMG you came to the right person because i have many thoughts on Rowell's run...also thank you for the kind words abt my Alex edit its one of my favs and i always forget it exists

In terms of Rowell's run. It started off as one of my favorite runs and as time went on I grew to really dislike it.

I think there's some stuff she does I REALLY love - I think she gets Alex on a level a lot of writers really don't and does some genuinely interesting things with him which is very important to me personally since he's one of my favs. I sometimes like to look at the stuff she wrote for him in a vacuum and pretend the rest of that run doesn't exist LMAO. The stuff with Molly and her reluctance to abandon her parents because she was so young when she lost them I find very compelling as well, as well as stuff that begins to be explored with Chase in terms of How To Cope With Your Dead Girlfriend Coming Back to Life And Still Being 16, but unfortunately it isn't really resolved. Gib also is a fun addition to the cast and I like the parallels between him and the rest of the Runaways. Anka's art is ofc beautiful as always (kinda a minor issue tho but I wish he had gone less nugoth for Nico and stuck to her more classic romantic/trad goth looks - it makes her look so artificial to me)

It's been a hot second so I really need a reread but iirc i didn't have as much of an issue with pacing as I did with some weird characterization and plot choices so I don't really know if another format would have improved it, but maybe if a show or something stretched out the runtime of each arcs. I saw someone say once that Rowell is a fix-it writer and i think that really describes the problems with this run, which is that she's far more interested in resolving ""plot holes"" and bringing back old characters than telling new interesting stories. I put plot holes in quotation marks because frankly a lot of these things are not plot holes. The fact that we don't know how the staff of one works is NOT a plot hole, its part of it being a weird fucked magic artifact. Making it a person kind of undermines everything Nico has gone thru in the rest of her arc and adds some weird ass implications to every other writer's work. Even with things that actually are issues, comic history is full of holes not everything exists to be repaired especially if it comes at the cost of cool stories.

THE ROMANCE ARCS feel engineered just to kinda create cute moments rather than good stories. I didn't find Nico and Karolina's relationship issues believable or interesting at all especially considering their respective histories. I find them and a lot of the cast to be vastly OOC but that's pretty typical for comics I guess. Victor and Gert's romance is one of my main issues as well because it just seems kind of out of nowhere to me and just kind of an effort to pair off the cast. I don't feel like they have any chemistry, Vic (and the rest of the cast but mostly him) feels really dumbed down and his complex struggles with bodily autonomy are simplified down to him wanting to hold his new girlfriend. Just overall his characterization in this comic completely revolves around Gert and it sucks. Gert in general is a huge issue for me because while I find her an interesting character in her original form, in this run she kind of monopolizes the entire comic with her arcs always taking precedence. AND THEY DONT EVEN DO ANYTHING INTERESTING WITH HER. SHE LITERALLY DIED AND CAME BACK AND LOST YEARS OF TIME WITH HER FREINDS WHO HAVE GROWN CLOSER IN HER ABSENCE and instead they write this very like cartoonishly evil fatphobia plot which doesn't seem interested in saying anything besides "fatphobia bad :(" I normally hate to like try to read author intention but its difficult to me not to think Rowell did a bit of a self insert/authors pet situation here.

TLDR - OVERALL I think the comic could REALLY have benefited from less characters with longer arcs rather than trying to fit everything and the kitchen sink from the last 20 years of runaways history. But I also think it is unfortunately one of the best and only runaways comics we've gotten recently so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ def need a reread to fully collect my thoughts as well

#warlock wartalks #many thoughts!! but god i need a reread. anyway runaways forever stan alex wilder my final message goodbye

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adleryoung · 2 years

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"So," I said, irritably, "are you done? Can I get back to piecing my life together while pretending that my fate isn't being manipulated by a bunch of power-hungry, self-aggrandizing old crones who think they deserve the world on a platter just because they once had pretty faces?"

"Careful with that kind of talk," Lana murmured smugly. "Most of the Sisterhood's high council are still smoking hot. If another agent besides me heard you saying such things, well, it would be bad. That's not a threat. It's just good advice. Plus, what's wrong with beauty? Your insinuation is out of place. The Sisterhood can't be all that bad, because beauty is the standard symbol for goodness everywhere."

"A pretty face can hide an evil mind," I pointed out, quoting the Proverbs of Cellini. "But I'm not interested in debating philosophy with you. You said you would serve me. So am I to understand that you'll go out and spread tales of my deeds, help me find this Skönk femme, and be my direct line of communication with the Sisterhood? Is that right? Or will you stab me in the back like every other Unseelie ally I've had?"

"I was not planning on stabbing you in the back," Lana declared.

"If the Sisterhood ordered you to, would you?"

"Hmm," she mused. "That's a tricky one … I think it would depend …"

"That's what I thought," I sighed. "I need a promise from you that you will never harm me."

"You have my word," Lana smiled. "Elves don't lie, you know."

"Not good enough," I said with a scowl. "I need you to solemnly swear."

"That's not very Seelie," she smirked.

"Neither are you," I retorted. "Now swear, or you'll never leave this room. I can keep you in perpetual orgone paralysis. Is that how you want your story to end?"

"That doesn't sound so bad," Lana mused. "But no, my mission is too important. Very well, I swear before Fuma, by oak and by thorn, that I will never harm you, Adler Young. How's that?"

"It'll do. Now then, you said you knew how to handle the time skips, so your first duty is to escort me back to the clearing WITHOUT launching me into the future."

"Sorry, can't do that."

"Why not?" I demanded.

"First, I'm still paralyzed," she explained. "Second, we've moved around and a lot has changed since we came in here. This makes the calculation much more complex. And third, just no."

"You said you'd do anything I wanted!" I exclaimed.

"Yes, but I didn't say I would do EVERYTHING you wanted," Lana grinned. "Anything and everything are very different concepts. Plus you only made me swear I wouldn't hurt you. Getting rid of your pathetic lowfolk parasites certainly will not hurt you."

"CONFOUND YOU!!" I bellowed. "Fine, so I guess you want to stay paralyzed here until you starve to death then."

"I've already explained how killing me would be a bad move," she chuckled with obvious relish. "Plus you would have to stay in here and starve with me. You can't manipulate the Gate well enough to know how long you've been gone. Do you even know how much time it would take for me to recover? For all you know, I might actually be able to get up now. Can you afford to leave me in here unsupervised? I wonder if I can get into the scrying tower? I wonder how easy it would be to break its delicate scrying mechanism? Just because I can't hurt you doesn't mean I can't cause you an endless amount of trouble."

Damn it! She had outmaneuvered me again! Was there no way to escape the Sisterhood's control?

"Fine then," I snapped. "Out we go. I hope you're happy with the mess you've made."

"I'm quite satisfied with it so far," Lana cackled as I dragged her through the Gate.

On the ground just outside the dolmen were a couple of baskets and bags of rotten food, swarming with flies. I could barely hold back a tear as I thought of Vernier dutifully bringing them according to our agreed schedule, seeing the previous baskets sitting there untouched, wondering where I was and what had happened to me. It looked like three weeks' worth of food sitting there, but I could have been gone longer than that. Vernier might have simply given up and stopped coming after three weeks of seeing her deliveries going to waste.

"Good," Lana smirked as she pulled herself into a seated position against the side of the dolmen. "You must learn not to rely on lowfolk. You're an elf! Rely on yourself! And on us! Let the Sisterhood supply your needs. We just want to help you achieve your destiny."

#furry #elf #story #plot #adventure #cartoon #tboay #skunk #floozy

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charliedawn · 3 years

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What is their reaction when they find out that they may have grown attached to you ?

You know how Jason can be very insecure and self-conscious ? Well. Prepare for a whole new level. He will check himself in the mirror when you're not looking, and if he doesn't like what he is seeing ? He will smash the mirror and go in a corner to sit and move back and forth, to give himself some reassurance. He still remembers what his mother used to tell him.

" Persons are a nuisance, Jason. You don't need them to survive."

But then, why does he feel like he needs you ? He feels conflicted as to what to believe.

Super jumpy ! He will jump almost every time you touch him or lose his grip of the things he is holding, often ending broken and splattered on the floor. He would be as clumsy as Jason and would want you to spend more time with him. However, he would also be scared of you breaking his heart.

" I..I c..care.."

Like many of your patients, Brahms has trouble finding his words. At first, many thought he was mute, like Jason or Michael. This is why hearing him speak to you always means it is important.

" I..I care.."

He wants to say many things, how he cherishes every moment you spend together, how you make his heart race everytime you are near him or how he wants you to be by his side forever..But, he can't. He can just hope that what he feels can be expressed through eye contact. You may not understand what he wants to say, but you still try to understand. You put your hand on his and reply with a compassionate smile.

" I care about you too. You are a very good friend, Brahms.."

Did you just indirectly friendzone him ? Possibly..You walk out and Brahms sighs before sitting on his bed while hugging his doll to comfort him.

" You turn me on."

He will be absolutely frank about it. He will just step up and tell you in front of anyone. He doesn't give a damn if the others hear him as well. Also, creep alert, will watch you sleep. He will sneak in your bedroom in the middle of the night and just look at you sleep. He wants to touch you so bad, but he knows that that would wake you up. And he doesn't want that. He will just admire you from afar, even pretend that you may like him back. He would just want to get close to you, to look at you and wonder what you may be dreaming about..hoping that you are dreaming of him.

" Oh my sweet..You look so perfect when you sleep.."

Now..You know how Five is very serious about his relationship with Dolores ? Well, you better be prepared by lots of imaginary fights between the two of them, and even a break-up ! *gasp* Drama. He would be in a very bad mood and would scream and attack everyone that approaches his personal space. He would also smash everything in his room. Like, everything. So much that the other nurses would be too scared of him and ask you to handle it.

" Hey. Are you okay, Five ? Did something happen ?"

He would snort and look up at you with visible frustration.

" You happened. Dolores and I broke up. Not that she was one to share her feelings anyway."

You frown in incomprehension before asking with a small airy laugh.

" I don't understand, what does that have to do with me ?"

Your question seems to trigger a nerve and he suddenly stands up to look at you dead in the eye with anger and, somehow, pain..

" Everything ! You're too nice ! Too forgiving ! Too perfect ! You wiped our past as if it was nothing, goddammit ! We're serial killers, Y/N! We're monsters and you treat us as if we were..as if we were.."

He doesn't get to finish that sentence as he seems on the verge of tears. He jumps on his bed to sit and hide his face behind his knees. You seem to finally understand the problem and sigh before sitting next to Five.

" It's okay to have feelings, Five. You can't hide them forever. I'm sorry if it upsets you but, I don't think you're all that bad. Sure, you kill and even eat people. But, I've seen you change. You are a lot less violent and a few more months ? And I'm sure you'll be out of here in no time."

He looks up at you again with a sort of desperation, very uncharacteristic of Five, before finally asking in a tearful voice.

" What if..What if I don't want to go back ? Out there, I'm just a freak. But, here ? I got.."

He doesn't finish his sentence, but you guess what he is going to say and smile understandingly.

"..Friends ?"

He doesn't answer, he only suddenly hugs you tightly and hides his face in your skirt. You hesitate before slowly petting the top of his head affectionately. The gesture seems to relax him, but he quickly straightens up and wipes his tears away. He then stands up and apologizes.

" I..I'm sorry, it was highly inappropriate of me. I'll..I'll let you work."

Before you could say anything, he runs out of the room and leaves you confused and worried.

Lots of uncontrollable laughter. More than usual. He is very nervous when you're around him and sometimes cries while laughing, showing that he is deeply ashamed of his condition. He is very bipolar and will sometimes act very casually around you, only to break into tears when you leave the room. He will stare at you and turn his gaze away as soon as you would notice.

" Well, would you look at that ? Sir Sh*tty the clown seems to have a little crush on the nice nurse.."

Pennywise would tease him about it while Penny cackles behind him. Arthur glares at them both before either ignoring them or leaving the room.

No. Nope. Certainly not. He will try to hide from you. He knows very well what he is feeling, and also what happens to the people he feels this way towards. He just managed to get rid of his curse, he is not about to risk getting on a murder rampage again ! Every time he would see you, he would pretend to be busy or hide. One time, he even jumped out the window to get away from you. It is very odd since Michael is normally the most chill and calm out of all the patients. But one look at you ? And he becomes a panicking mess. He has to get away. He doesn't want to hurt you like he hurt everyone else close to him, like he hurt his family..

" Me ? Having feelings ? Ah !"

One word: denial. He doesn't want to hear about things like feelings. He saved you ? Bah. It was only because he was bored. He will deny everything, but still follow you and pop up out of nowhere to see what you're doing. He enjoys talking to you, even if he doesn't want to admit it.

" Pennywise..You're staring again."

Penny would gently warn him as his big brother would pretend to not have done such a thing.

" Can't an old clown appreciate to look at nice things sometimes ?"

Penny frowns, not understanding his big brother's words until Freddy intervenes by popping next to him with a huge grin.

" Let it go, kid. Your big bro is just too much of a chicken to go talk to her.."

Pennywise growls in annoyance at Freddy before raising his middle finger at him.

" F*ck off Freddy ! At least I don't watch her sleep like a total perv !"

That would result in a fight that you would have to break. Again..

" Pennywise..I think I'm sick.."

Pennywise would admit some day to Pennywise that would sigh in annoyance.

" Stop saying stupid sh*t. You know very well that we can't be sick."

But, upon seeing the devastated face of his brother, Pennywise sighs loudly before turning towards him to focus his whole attention on him.

" Fiiinnneee...Tell me."

Penny's mood seems to lit up as his brother seems to be willing to listen to him.

" OK, so it concerns the nurse, Y/N. Everytime they are near me, I feel things in my stomach, like a million kids were kicking me in there..Everytime they touch me, I feel as if a part of me in my chest is about to burst and I feel warm, very very warm. And then, I feel very very bad when they talk to anyone else..It's horrible. I want it to stop..Should I eat them ?"

Pennywise stays silent for a while before saying with an unusual straight face.

" Penny.."

He starts, but Penny starts panicking as he sees the sour look on his brother's face.

" Oh ! It's bad, isn't it ?! What is it ?! How long do I have ?!"

Pennywise rolls his eyes dramatically at his brother's exaggerated reaction before cutting him off in his worried questions.

" Shut up, you idiot ! You're not dying. You're just feeling.."things" for them."

Penny stops talking and frowns in confusion, his eyes diverging in deep concentration, as if trying to understand Pennywise's words.

" Things ?! What things ?!"

He finally asks with his eyes wide open in obvious loss and Pennywise face-palms himself before answering with a loud sigh.

" You're falling in love, you dumb f*ck !"

At the word, Penny's face freezes and his smile goes downwards as he realizes that his older brother is right.

" Oh, sh*t.."

He curses and Pennywise frowns, as Penny hates curses.

" Language ! I'm the only one allowed to use curses, remember ?!"

Penny nods before asking in a worried tone.

" How do I get rid of it ? I don't like it.."

Pennywise can't help but feel sorry for Penny, as he knew better than anyone that there was no turning back..

" I'm sorry kid. But if it's really love ? You can't..like I can't.."

Penny's eyes widen at his brother's confession.

" You..You..love her too ?"

Pennywise seems to realize what he just said and groans before walking away. He didn't want anyone to know, even though Penny is his brother. Penny understands the wish of his brother to be left alone and starts walking out in the garden to think over what his older brother said..Could it be ? Could he really be falling in love ?

Bonus : The deal

The Horde is blindfolded and dragged to another room where a man and a woman are waiting for them. At first look, he can already tell that this man is one of the unworthy. The unbroken. The weak..His interest is cut short and he then turns towards the woman sitting next to him. Now, this one was interesting..Her eyes betrayed a much deeper complexity and she had a scar running from her forehead to her left cheek that proved she was worthy.

" You..You are broken. Rejoice.."

The woman smiles, but before she could start talking, her partner does it for her.

" Mister Wendell Crumb, we have a mission for you."

But Kevin only grits his teeths at the man.

" You are impure..I want to kill you.."

The man arks an eyebrow, but ignores his threat.

" Fine. Whatever. But first, I want you to be my spy. We didn't get you out of this prison for nothing, mister Wendell Crumb. We want you to be our little spy in the facility. We want you to find out how a certain miss L/N managed to control the patients outside of the facility. Do that, and you'll be as free as a bird..Do we have a deal ?"

He frowns, they wanted him to spy on a nurse ? She must be quite special for them to go to such lengths, to use him as a spy..Yes, quite the unique prey. The Beast was already impatient and Kevin licks his lips before nodding.

" Fine, but on one condition. When you're finished with her, I get to eat her heart.."

The request seems to take the man aback, but it is the lady that Kevin is looking at. She smiles coldly before nodding in agreement.

" Deal."

Kevin finally smiles widely and can't help the excited giggle that gets out from deep within him. Then, the dark and low voice of the beast makes itself heard as the smile grows almost ferocious as he announces. .

" Let the hunt begin.."

#fandoms #fanfic #imagine #slashers #pennywise 1990 #pennywise 1990 x y/n x pennywise 2017 #pennywise 2017 #pennywise x reader #brahms heelsire x reader #number five x reader #arthur x reader #the joker x reader #jason voorhees x reader #michael myers x reader #freddy krueger x reader

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alirhi · 3 years

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This is oddly fun lol

Let's see how many of these I can churn out before I get distracted or need a break! (pff. like I need an excuse to watch the show again. Despite its flaws, I really, really love TFATWS, guys)

Without further ado, let's get down to it!

Episode 2: The Star-Spangled Man

I'm pretty sure I'm on record when it comes to my undying hate for John Walker, yes? So obviously, Bucky's grumpiness 100% stays 😂

I'm not really a fan of how much emphasis they put on the shield. I can see it as a catalyst for Bucky to go confront Sam, yes, but he wouldn't keep going "shield shield shield" like a broken record. Bucky has consistently been shown to be an empathetic man. I can't believe for a second that he'd be barking at Sam about having no right to give up the shield; he'd ask why. Sam's got shit to do, so he'd get impatient and not answer.

"Why'd you give up so easily? If you were overwhelmed, I could've helped you-" "You've been ignoring me. Like now, how you're ignoring me walking away from you." "Well, you weren't texting me about this." "You think I needed your permission?!" "No, but I was right there with Steve while he was learning what it meant to be Cap. I wouldn't mind helping you get used to-" "Then go teach him." A vague gesture toward the "Cap is back" posters. Bucky makes a face. "Steve passed the mantle to you. You fought with him. You earned it. That little shit didn't." "What do you want me to do about it?" "Just tell me why, Sam. I mean it. I just wanna understand." "Not now, Buck. I've got shit to do. You see me heading for a plane right now, right?" "This is important!" "So is this." Sam tells him about the Flag Smashers, we get our silly Big Three/Gandalf conversation.

I'm sorry, but that whole jumping from the plane scene is funny as hell, and I love all the nods they added in to jokes from the press tours that brought us this show in the first place (like ripping the sleeve off his jacket lol). I don't think I'd change a single thing from the Big Three convo to Bucky joining Sam in the warehouse.

"You're doing the staring thing again." "You're staring at your watch," Bucky points out. He knows it's linked to Redwing, he's just pointing out how dumb that line is in that situation. They're there for recon lol. They're meant to be looking around.

I don't...particularly care about the other common gripe here? Meaning, "Bucky's a civilian, so why is he allowed to randomly jump in on a military mission?" Bucky's also known in this universe as an Avenger, just like Sam, so I don't think anyone would really bat an eye at him joining. Also, I have my own agenda related to Bucky's apparent freedom to walk in and out of military/government things.

What does bug me (as funny as it is) is Bucky's animosity toward Redwing. Again... Bucky is a certified nerd. Always has been. If anything, he'd be fascinated by Redwing and Sam would constantly have to slap him away because he's leaning in too close trying to see the tiny watch monitor. "I don't trust Redwing" is just old man griping "I don't trust your newfangled technology" and that... that's not Bucky.

And that "we're not assassins" dig, and then laughing when Bucky gets upset? That's not Sam. Both of these men have shown a remarkable amount of empathy, and Sam has a background in helping traumatized vets. If he cared enough about Bucky to be texting him after Steve left, he'd care enough not to make callous jokes about his time as The Winter Soldier, whether he knows the full story or not.

The fight on top of moving trucks looks cool, but makes no logical sense. I keep trying to think of a way to explain this from a story perspective, rather than a lazy "it looks cool!" filmmaking one, and I'm coming up blank. Anyone with half a brain would have pulled over, had the fight, and then taken off. It was a fun sequence, though... Eh. I'll leave it.

When Karli breaks Redwing, Bucky doesn't say "I always wanted to do that." Again, it's funny - I love the jabs about that stupid robo bird XD - but not Bucky. In my version, he smirks and says "You're so gonna regret that."

"You were kinda getting your asses kicked before we got there." Is immediately followed by Bucky staring him down and asking, "And... how did that fight end for you?" Sam adds, "I don't see them in custody. Are-are they following in a van?" He looks around, sarcastically searching for another vehicle. Walker and Hoskins grimace at each other, grudgingly conceding that point.

credit to @dailycelebs

Seeing Walker, and having to listen to his stupid pro-government rhetoric, makes Bucky think about Steve. When we cut from the Flag Smashers back to Bucky and Sam and the closeup of Bucky's pensive face, we hear 1940s Steve angrily telling 1940s Bucky about how the higher ups in the army had already written off the POWs and were going to leave them to die. "I love our country, Buck," he laments, "but what do I do when I'm not too sure anymore about the people who run it?"

"What you always do," is young Bucky's answer, "stand for what's right, not who's in power."

Perfect lead-in to the conversation about handling things themselves.

When Sam meets Isaiah, and hears his story, not only is he horrified and heartsick for him, but he also begins to see Bucky in a new light. He's seeing Bucky's face, the way he tries to hide his emotions and not make this conversation about him, and he's putting things together. He's still upset at being out of the loop, but he's seeing more of the situation than just "omg black super soldier". When Bucky says "he'd already been through enough," Sam asks quietly, "like you?"

The racist cop comes back before Bucky can answer, to arrest him for missing his appointment with Raynor.

ngl guys, I was so moved by the difference in how that cop treated Sam (before knowing he's Important) vs how he treated Bucky (knowing that the government views him as a violent, if pardoned, criminal). He approaches Sam with his hand on his gun, eager to defend Bucky; "is this guy bothering you?" Just because they're having a heated conversation. Then, when he sees that there's a warrant for Bucky, he approaches timidly, apologizes, treats him gently and politely. By "moved," btw, I don't mean "it was so sweet." I mean "this is fucking sick, and very, very realistic." White cops see a white guy and treat him with respect regardless of his actual criminal record, while being openly hostile towards an innocent black man without even knowing who he is, just because he's black. Moments like this made me applaud Spellman.

"You, too, Sam - That wasn't a request" is Sam's first sign that there's something off about Raynor.

Look, again... The couples therapy banter is funny because Sebastian and Anthony are funny, but that scene, from a storytelling and a mental health standpoint, is atrocious. Without some underlying reason behind her actions, Raynor is just a pointlessly terrible therapist.

Rather than insulting Bucky from the outset, Sam is angry with Raynor for violating Bucky's privacy by not only introducing herself as his therapist, but forcing a "couples" session without her patient's consent. With his background pre-Avenging, he knows this shit shouldn't fly. He immediately points out how unprofessional she's being.

Raynor doesn't bother listening - the fuck does she care, really? She shrugs and casually admits it's "slightly unprofessional" but proceeds anyway.

"Whatever's eating at him?" Sam scoffs. "Did you really just say that to a WWII veteran and the world's longest-serving POW with complex PTSD? Did I hear that right? I've had, maybe, like five conversations with this man since we met, and even I know he's been through some shit and-" "Sam," Bucky tries to interrupt, looking uncomfortable. With his crushing guilt, he has an easier time dealing with insults than someone coming to his defense. "No," Sam snaps. "If the HIPAA Slayer over here wants to drag me into this, she's damn well gonna hear what I have to say!" He turns back to Raynor and demands, "Is this how you've been treating him this whole time? Downplaying what he's been through and making a grown-ass man sound like a sulking teenager?" Raynor keeps her cool, but barely. Visibly frustrated and annoyed, she ignores Sam's tirade and tries to force the conversation back onto the track she wants it on. Bucky's embarrassed and doesn't know how to react to any of this, so he still makes that little "he would talk less" jab. Sam, seeing that he's not going to get anywhere with him until they're away from this bitch, glowers and plays along. We get our silly/angry banter.

After their argument with Walker, Sam finally confronts Bucky about what really happened to him.

"He meant HYDRA; HYDRA used to be my people." "Were they?" Sam asks, stopping him and looking him in the eye, not letting him look away or deflect. "Steve was under the impression that they were your captors. I was under the impression that the Wakandans spent two years deprogramming you so no one could use you the way HYDRA did ever again." "I-" Startled, not expecting that, Bucky stutters a little and admits, "Yeah, I... That's true, I guess." "You guess?" "Does it matter? Sam rolls his eyes. "I dunno, does it matter that you were a slave for most of the 20th century?" "I doubt it matters much to my victims." "HYDRA's victims," Sam corrects firmly. "Just like you." Bucky fidgets; he doesn't know what to do or say. No one since Steve has even so much as insinuated that Bucky wasn't 100% culpable for what he did while under HYDRA control. "Look," Sam sighs, "I don't particularly like you. I don't hate you, but I'm not your biggest fan." "...Thanks?" "I just need you to know where I stand-" "Yeah, got it-" "-So you know I'm not biased like Steve when I say you had no choice. I don't know your story, but I know no one flips on a dime from docile and plagued with guilt to an unstoppable killing machine and back without some serious psychological damage behind that. I'm not saying you're an innocent little bunny, but I don't think you're a monster." "Thanks," Bucky croaks, more sincerely this time, and a bit choked up. He clears his throat and looks distinctly uncomfortable as he grumbles, "but to catch these guys, we may need to talk to a monster." Sam cringes. "I was afraid you'd say that."

#sebastian stan #anthony mackie #tfatws #tfatws critical #fan ramblings #show rewrite #if i'd written it #episode 2

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bookofmirth · 3 years

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I haven't read ACOSF yet, and tbh I'm rather rusty with the characters but it was really interesting to read your opinion on Elain! I feel there's a lot of complexity to her. And how she presents herself as well because as you said we literally have no chapters from hers or Lucien's POV and I think that's the important point to note because right now we're all just guessing and assuming her to be like Feyre, but she's not. People deal/show their traumas in different way and l think people expect Elain to deal with it as Feyre did. But, Feyres trauma and Elains are very different!

I don't really know what I'm saying. But I read your answer and it made me go 'oh... Huh!' in a good way, it sparked my curiosity! So thank you! But I think Elain perhaps is the most complex person with their trauma. I know people say 'oh Nesta is so different' but (I specialised in drama therapy so I love psycho analysis) and what Nesta did is self destructive to prevent relationships to avoid hurt or more emotions that she doesn't want to acknowledge (in my opinion!)

Elain just shuts down. She doesn't drink, she doesn't screw, she just remains in her garden which in itself says a lot! That's a very grounding way to handle trauma and not a lot of people are aware of that side!

So yeah I don't know what I'm saying but I think it's a really interesting discussion!

I have so many thoughts about Elain! This took me a few days to get to because i knew I had a crapton of thoughts. So this is basically me using this ask to explain the way I see Elain post-acosf!

There are three important scenes in acosf off the top of my head: when Elain talks with Nesta and they fight, and then with Nesta and Feyre and she gets mad and leaves, and then Feyre and Rhys talk about her in their chapter. We’re getting a lot more information about her, and for me, it wasn’t so much about who she is, but why we don’t know who she is.

So far, what we’ve had is Feyre’s and Nesta’s POV. Even when Feyre and Lucien tried to help her in acowar, they were unable. So we’ve never had anything about Elain from someone who didn’t grow up with her and experience the same trauma (such as becoming destitute, their mother’s death, their father being beaten, the Cauldron, etc.)

The sisters do handle it very, very differently. And I think that at this point the fandom consensus is that Elain runs away from her problems, but I actually disagree, and partly because of what you mentioned - that she isn’t using those self-harming, destructive coping mechanisms. Nesta was avoiding her problems, hardcore. It’s absolutely possible that Elain avoids things, but I don’t think that she just runs from all of her problems because:

Elain grieves her father. Openly. She tries to accept the fact that it wasn’t her fault and that she couldn’t do anything about it. (See: her going to his grave in acofas, her first talk with Nesta in acosf.) Elain does not run from her grief, she doesn’t pretend it doesn’t exist, and she doesn’t hide it from others. As one of the most defining events we’ve seen her go through in the series, that’s a pretty big deal.

Elain does not cling to unhealthy coping mechanisms. There could be ways that she does this that we are unaware of. She does seem like the type who would be really, really good at making people think she’s okay, all while she’s silently imploding. But we don’t know that yet?

Elain does not isolate herself.

However, Elain definitely needs to deal with some stuff! She definitely needs to deal with Lucien, and she needs to have an actual talk with Nesta because I don’t remember a single satisfying resolution between those two in acosf. Not like Nesta had with Feyre.

I have this idea that is purely based on Elain’s line in acosf:

“I went into the Cauldron, too, you know. And it captured me. And yet somehow, all you think of is what my trauma did to you.” (pg. 233)

And then Feyre tells Nesta that yes, Elain was right.

This is so so so sossosososos important. I cannot emphasize it enough. Elain is used to putting on a fake, smiling face because she doesn’t want the weight of her sisters’ concern. She has been pretending to cope for so long - and tbf, she seems to have been doing better than Nesta - that people not only forget that she has suffered, but she doesn’t feel like she can even express that suffering.

Emotional labor often means negating one’s own feelings in order to acknowledge or tend to someone else’s. And that is Elain’s major role, in the series. Feyre has been caring for everyone’s physical wellbeing (hunting), while Elain’s role has been to care for everyone’s emotional wellbeing. But, like with most emotional labor, it has gone unnoticed.

I’ve made posts about emotional labor in the past (four years ago!!!!) but I’m gonna spare you the link because a lot of it was about a ship that’s no longer a ship, so here is the relevant content:

What I am talking about is the regulation of emotion - any time that you give comfort, are especially attentive to someone’s needs, stop thinking about how you feel in order to focus on how someone else feels, try to cheer someone up, make sure that they are taking care of themselves, try to allay their insecurities, etc. Basically, helping them with any sort of emotional distress.

You know those posts you’ve seen, about women protecting men’s egos constantly? Or about making time for self-care? Or about recognizing toxic relationships? That tell you “if X is being demanded of you in a relationship, get out”? Those are ALL about emotional labor, broadly speaking. They are warning you not to do more than you can handle, more than you need to do, because it can be harmful to you.

If you have ever been expected to make a person or people feel better any time you are around each other (including when they are angry, upset, anxious, ill, frustrated, insecure, etc.), you have performed emotional labor. Pretty much everyone has done this at some point, unless you are a completely insensitive jerk.

Notice, though, that I said expected to and any time you are around them – this is where the problem comes in for YOU. This is not about just being there for a friend.

Making loved ones feel better is fantastic. Seeing people be polite and kind to one another makes my heart shine. That is not a problem in and of itself. That can be seen as emotional labor, but there are no requirements on you in those circumstances. This is something you are doing of your own free will.

The problem, again, is when this is expected, constantly, over time. Now, in my experience, the expectation is not necessarily coming from the other person. One of the problems with this type of labor is that not only do others expect women to perform these tasks, but women expect it of themselves.

It’s super easy to see this – who is expected to take care of a child when they fall? Who is expected to baby-sit? Who did you want when you were sick as a child, mom or dad? Who is expected to be sensitive and pay attention to others’ emotions?

For more info on this idea specifically, read Of Woman Born by Adrienne Rich. As a woman, I realized how much work I had been performing and how much it was harming me and I just… got real upset. She comes at this mostly from what a woman’s role is expected to be within the family, and might actually be a bit outdated in that respect because I feel like family structures and dynamics are shifting (that is a totally un-academic evaluation of the situation, don’t quote me on that), but still, it’s really informative.

While I was doing some research for this post I came across a peer-reviewed article about nursing and basically, high amounts of emotional labor led to anxiety and burn-out in those performing it. It literally will cost your mental health – not to mention your time, energy, attention, and it often requires you to ignore your own needs (this last part came from me, not the article). On the other hand, high levels of emotional intelligence (being able to recognize your own and others’ emotional states) meant less emotional labor (and therefore less anxiety & burn-out). One of the most important things to realize is that while you are taking care of someone else’s emotional needs, your own are frequently unmet. That is why it’s important to recognize this in yourself, not just in these characters.

So where does Elain fit in? Elain is the #1 emotional labor provider of the family, and she is about to freaking SNAP. I know, because once I realized how my trauma was hidden in order to spare someone else its consequences, I fucking SNAPPEd. I’ll also spare you the personal details, but Elain hasn’t been “okay”. She hasn’t been “boring”, or “nice”, or “chosen” Feyre over Nesta. She has literally been unable to express herself because (and I am NOT blaming Nesta or Feyre or her father one bit) her family’s emotional state has been so fragile, there hasn’t been room for Elain to feel or express her emotions in years.

In the feysand short, Rhys says:

I wonder if everyone has spent so long assuming Elain is sweet and innocent that she felt she had to be that way or else she’d disappoint you all.

And that completely tracks. Everyone has gotten used to Elain being not just “nice”, but being the emotionally predictable one. The one they know they can go to for a smile. The one they can count on for never, ever making them realize that she has been through Some Shit Too. And being that person is exhausting.

When Feyre thinks about Elain not using Lucien’s gloves, 1) she still has them, otherwise she couldn’t think about Elain not using them, and 2) I like to see the gloves as something that she will come to use, once she realizes that she can feel and express those emotions without it causing a breakdown in the family. Right now, she just wants to feel. And she can’t do that emotionally, so she’s doing it physically. Once she heals and finds a better balance, she won’t need to resort to physical pain. (Which, lowkey has me thinking some other thoughts, but.... maybe later.) But anyway, once Elain does go through her very own special journey, I fully expect her to welcome those gloves. She won’t need physical pain to feel anymore.

Not to mention my completely unacademic and non-professional opinion that people will judge a nice women harshly for being rude once, but accept a woman with a history of rudeness for just “being that way”. It’s another way that Elain may feel trapped in her “nice girl” persona. I think she started out that way - kindness and light and generosity is 100% in Elain’s character in the first place. It’s not as if she went into the Court of Nightmares and suddenly Cassian thought, “wait, she fits right in to this shithole of depravity”. No, he still thought the literal opposite. It’s just that once people get used to you doing all their emotional labor, they will continue to take advantage of it, even if they don’t realize its cost.

#elain #acosf #acosf spoilers #spoilers #ask #PHEW I needed to get that off my chest too #midnight-wonder

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