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#there are things I do and don't like about the series and tbh I'm still not sure how I feel about the finale
genericpuff · 6 months
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And with that, 2000 years of history and 10+ years of an animated adaption later, Attack on Titan is over.
I wasn't planning on making an essay post about this but like all of my essay posts, it got crazy out of hand, so here we are. I have a lot to say on it and the more I wrote, the more I realized exactly what the Attack on Titan finale was about. It's cathartic. It's also kind of a big shitpost but not for the reasons you might think.
Spoilers for the Attack on Titan finale ahead! CW: DISCUSSION OF WAR AND GENOCIDE AHEAD!
Now for anyone who knows what I'm about to talk about (and anyone who follows my stuff here), I'm sure you're wondering , what side do I fall on in regards to Attack on Titan's ending? Am I about to talk shit about it? It's very divisive and somewhat inconclusive. It followed the exact ending in the manga which, while expected, was still disappointing to many who had hoped the anime would take some other path.
But I have to ask, could there have been any other way?
Eren committed mass genocide, bordering on extinction of the entire human race. There was no way that he was gonna come out of it redeemed or as a hero, and he knew it. He went straight up Walter White core here and like Walter White, he is not a hero.
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The fact that the Marlayans have been constantly going to war with other countries using Eldians as their personal soldiers goes to show that for countries that seek out conquest, there's no target too small or insignificant that can't be marked as an "enemy", and we see that reflected in Eren as well, in his pursuing of "freedom", an ever-moving goalpost that can never truly be satisfied.
The Jaegerists were hellbent on creating a new empire on the bloodshed of Marley - 'an eye for an eye', so to speak.
Nothing was ever going to truly satisfy either 'side' in the conflict of humanity vs. Eldians because such conflicts' origins have been obfuscated in hundreds of years of history, propaganda, and generational trauma that has repeated itself for so long that many don't even know what they're fighting for anymore, aside from one thing - that they don't want to suffer, that they shouldn't have to suffer for the actions of their ancestors, that they want peace and happiness but don't know where to start with taking the first step.
I think people are disappointed in this ending because, let's face it, it's anime, and it's an anime adaption that took years to finish. We always want to see some kind of vindication from stories like these, but I think in having vindication, it ultimately removes the point altogether of what's being said.
As much as we may try to fight it, try to deny it, the course of human history travels in a circle. Conflict will always arise. History is written by the victors, and those victors will be seen as heroes by whichever side they're fighting for regardless of what heinous acts they may have committed to justify their salvation. And after all of that conflict, regardless of the result - time goes on, and new conflicts arise.
But I don't think that means we have to succumb to grief and suffering and that's a point that I'm seeing missed in a lot of the discussion around the finale. There's a very powerful scene between Armin and Zeke, in which Armin talks about how he was born to run up the hill with Mikasa and Eren. He recognizes fully that if his life isn't meant to be long, he can still cherish those small moments that he thinks back on fondly, the moments that defined his life with the people he cared about.
And that's really all life is. Small moments and experiences that stick with us until the end. The very act of being born in and of itself is a cosmic miracle that gives us the chance to experience things that bring us joy and stay with us forever - however short or long that 'forever' may be. We take these small moments for granted when we're comfortable, but we look for them the most when we're suffering.
If I can relate all this to another piece of media that says the same thing - albeit with a much brighter ending - FF XIV: Endwalker also asks a similar question to Attack on Titan - is the only meaning in life to suffer and die? Of course, by its end, we learn that while death and suffering is an inevitable part of life - not something that should be avoided - it shouldn't persuade us to give in to fear and despair as a constant state of being. And I think Attack on Titan goes for a very similar approach, albeit slightly more as a cautionary tale - a nihilistic reminder that ultimately, the losses and victories we find in our current point of history are still just that, a single point, a blip that will be forgotten until it's ultimately repeated, and there's no escaping that.
It cautions us that freedom cannot exist without constant vigilance for war and conflict. It cautions us that our values and core beliefs for attaining freedom, love and happiness can be twisted into a weapon to cause harm, vindication gained at the cost of another. It cautions us that when left in the wrong hands, power can and will be abused by the ignorant while propagandizing itself as "the greater good".
So why not just find the joy that we can? The friendships, the little moments, the things that bring us happiness even if only temporary. Conflict is inevitable, suffering is inevitable, but that doesn't mean life isn't worth living. "Happiness" is not a tangible end point - it's the side effect of living a meaningful life that's true to yourself.
Attack on Titan is over. Some will argue the ending was the only way, others will argue that there could have been another way and that the anime adaption had the chance to change it but still didn't for reasons beyond their comprehension.
But isn't that the whole point? We'll argue. We'll bargain. Many of the arguments made will reinforce our own beliefs further rather than sway us. Many of us will insist there had to be another way, just as Armin insisted that this couldn't have been the only way, that humanity must have had another option. Meanwhile, many of us will acknowledge that at the end of the day, this is the story Isayama wanted to tell, and regardless of whether or not it makes him an idiot toying with his audience and admitting defeat by lampshading it in the penultimate scene of Eren admitting to his own idiocy, this was the power given to him and he used it in the best way he knew how.
Much like in any conflict, there's one thing that unites both sides - the human need for joy, connection, and freedom.
We might not agree on how Attack on Titan ended, but we can agree that it was a hell of a ride, and I hope we can all agree that it was worth riding, even if it wasn't satisfying for everyone in the end. It brought many people together regardless of their backgrounds, experiences, and differences, and connected them through something they all loved for over ten years. And despite how big a part of our lives it was, life will still go on, and we'll move on to other things to watch, enjoy, and argue over. Isayama will move on to whatever awaits him next, knowing fully well that his choice was his own, that he created the series he wanted to create regardless of how people feel about it. We'll all look for our own forms of joy and happiness as life moves on around us, as conflicts come and go.
Isn't that really what freedom is at the end of the day?
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solvicrafts · 6 months
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Just saw some people saying that the Loki s2 finale was crap because it wasn't approached with a Christian perspective.
Loki is based off of the Norse deity, you absolute chucklefucks.
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nyxronomicon · 5 months
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for real y'all I was about to go thru writers block and it was cured by a thoughtful comment... seriously it does make a difference to get feedback on your work
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Not to engage in discourse around a fandom I'm not even actively in, but one scene that stuck with me from the "School for Good and Evil" books, was in (I believe) the second book. Sophie edits a picture of a prince and princess living happily ever after (in an explicitly romantic way ofc) to look like her and Agatha. And Agatha is creeped out by it, even disgusted. First of all, you kissed her
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astrxealis · 1 year
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do some people really think he's not sorry at all
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happyhauntt · 25 days
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— march fic recs, brought to you by happyhauntt.
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a wee fic rec post for a few of the fics i read in march that altered my brain chemistry!! i've put a lil comment next to each rec because honestly writers don't get praised enough for their work these days and i wanted to show my appreciation for these talented souls!!
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grishaverse.
➡ kaz brekker.
what do you want from me by @rubysunnday. notes: literally perfect wtf.
dark days by rubysunnday. notes: i reread this literally constantly, it is so perfect, kaz's characterisation is perfect, i adore it.
bloody hands by rubysunnday. notes: i devoured this whole thing like a starving person it was sO good.
when am i gonna lose you? by @crowsmybeloveds. notes: this is so beautiful honestly i have no words.
the lost princess by @ellewritesalright. notes: look it's only part one but elle is a fucking wizard and i'm a sucker for an anastasia au.
you and me (a whole lot of history) by @heliads. notes: this was so cute and such a clever concept i fell in love!!!
schat by @amourology. notes: fully choked this is so adorable.
soulmate by @magpiencrow. notes: KAZ BREKKER SOULMATE AU didn't know i needed this but now i need 100 more!!!!
➡ nikolai lantsov.
nine long years series by @ellewritesalright. notes: i am actively fucking screaming over this fic. i will never stop. this might genuinely be the best thing i've read in a LONG while. everything about it has me sobbing i actively CANNOT COPE. and it's not even finished yet.
one of us by @songofpatrochilless. notes: literally had me sobbing you don't understand the domesticity of it all!!!!!.
come on back to me by @atlabeth. notes: there is a very strong chance that i'll literally never stop screaming about this fic.
dreams of you by @wh0refornikolailantsov. notes: every cell in my body is SCREAMING.
this love by @lantsovsupremacist. notes: did not, in fact, give you permission to hurt me like this do it again.
salt in the wound by @in-my-feels-probably. notes: brain goes brrrr this has everything i need to survive tbh.
wanting was enough by @rubysunnday. notes: beautiful stunning magnificent i want to eat it.
an exhausted smile by @writing-havoc. notes: think i had an aneurysm reading this it was that amazing.
run away with me by @sumsebien. notes: i am still sobbing over this.
in emerald hearts, emerald minds by @undiscovered-horizon. notes: love love love love love. there aren't enough words in any language to describe how much i love this.
➡ alina starkov.
alina starkov x reader by @heliads. notes: alina does not get nearly enough love and this was so fucking sad and cute and brilliant.
➡ nina zenik.
the ten steps to 'i love you' by @sophierequests. notes: this was SO HEARTWARMING AND SWEET i adored it!!!
➡ zoya nazyalensky.
forget-me-nots by @syllvane. notes: not enough zoya fics on this hellsite. but also this ripped my heart out and made me sob so RUDE. i feel devastated.
➡ inej ghafa.
inej ghafa x reader by @heliads. notes: INEJ MY SWEET BABY, this fic is everything to me. everything. and it's so beautifully written!!!
➡ the darkling.
the dark side of the moon series by @myhairpintrigger. notes: this fic is ASTOUNDING. i haven’t cried this much reading something in a long time. i was FULL-BODY SOBBING. i don’t even like the darkling. i am Not a darkling girlie. but i was intrigued by concept of this fic and i can safely say it has ruined my life. this is Emotional Damage Incarnate. i will never recover. author, i salute you.
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911.
through the smoke by @borntobewondering. notes: spent twenty whole minutes sobbing after reading this. i felt undone i felt hollow i felt so utterly fucked. author is a genius and that's all there is to say.
not so one night stand by @shmaptainwrites. notes: this was so fuckin adorable i'm in love.
d.c. to l.a. by shmaptainwrites. notes: bobby my guy just doesn't get enough fucking credit and this is so fucking adorable.
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criminal minds.
➡ spencer reid.
trouble almost all my life by @januaryembrs. notes: this series is. it's literally. everything. i love bugsy like she's my own child. sister relationships are everything to me. i spent an hour sobbing in my bed over parts 2 and 3. i want this tattooed on my forehead.
➡ aaron hotchner.
found by @benedictscanvas. notes: DADDY i mean what. all jokes aside this was so sweet and beautiful and i'm in love the writing!!!
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doctor who.
rage rage (against the dying of the light) by @morganas-pendragons. notes: felt feral after reading this. kayla just gets me in my feels every time.
heartbeat by morganas-pendragons. notes: this was the most emotional devastating thing i've ever read and i fully needed 3-5 business days to recover. rude. i want 100 more.
untitled by morganas-pendragons. notes: PAIN i love this so much.
ache by morganas-pendragons. notes: just scoop my heart out of my fucking chest i don't want it anymore after reading this.
a mind full of blissful terrors by @magiccath. notes: simply fucking amazing.
light in the dark by @i-imagine-my-doctor. notes: screaming please i adore this so much.
baby talk by @kisstherainwriting. notes: THE ABSOLUTE CUTIEST EVER. there's not enough clara fics and this had me squealing and feeling all warm and fuzzy!!!
holding my hand by kisstherainwriting. notes: angst galore this was STUNNING.
in another's eyes by @cas-kingdom. notes: PERFECTION.
where do we go now series by @theetherealbloom. notes: literally so fucking amazing i don't have enough words.
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marauders.
the winner takes it all by @ellecdc. notes: brb faye is having a STROKE--
come back, be here series by ellecdc. notes: i think i had a full on stroke while reading this series. the attention to detail is insane. the characterisation is perfect.
i don't know you anymore (maybe i never really did) by @thenyoumightaswellwrestleangels. notes: SCREECHING i'm in love you don't understand.
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bridgerton.
➡ anthony bridgerton.
distractions by @peterpparkrr. notes: simply immaculate.
right person, all the wrong times by @wwinterwitch. notes: did you mean one of my favourite tropes bc this is it.
right in front of me by @idontgiveaflyinggrayson69 & @thirteenisles. notes: i felt feral after reading this tbh.
➡ sibling!reader.
reluctant caretaker by @rubysunnday. notes: this fic hit my heart in all the right places okay sibling stuff means everything to me.
did she have a cookie by rubysunnday. notes: a joyous read from start to finish i CACKLED the whole way through.
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moon knight.
come back to me by @mgparker. notes: still sobbing. immaculate.
the other sarcophagus by @starryevermore. notes: i literally reread this constantly i adore it so much!!
marc spector x reader by @softlyspector. notes: i had an aneurysm reading this and i haven't been the same since.
more marc spector x reader by softlyspector. notes: i am having an intense emotion hold on. anytime i see autistic stuff in canon content for any fandom i SQUEAK. and this is so well done honestly.
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star wars.
heartless by @youvebeenlivingfictional. notes: i reread this constantly, it's so amazing and heartwrenching and beautiful and i want to eat it.
little talks by @light-yaers. notes: you simply do not understand how much i adore everything beff writes. i adore this fic more than i need oxygen to breathe.
right where you left me series by light-yaers. notes: personality-defining series. i LIVE for this fic. every update adds five years to my lifespan. if you're not reading this you are MISSING OUT.
a light, a song, a bluebird by @millllenniawrites. notes: made me SOB 10/10 would recommend if you like emotional trauma.
invisible string by @campingwiththecharmings. notes: pining!!! loneliness!!! i adore!!!
hard landings by @softlyspector. notes: no. no you don't understand. this fic doesn't just own my soul it is my soul. i want it tattooed on my face.
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misc.
hopper x reader by @luveline. notes: you don't understand this might be the cutest shit i've ever read and jade is a fellow welsh person which automatically makes them brilliant in my book.
muña by @in-my-feels-probably. notes: alicent means fucking everything to me and this had me sobbing.
mistletoe magic by @writingsbychlo. notes: literally the cutest fucking thing ever, had me kicking my legs and squealing!!
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matrixbearer2024 · 2 months
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Blips In My Routine
Vox x CollegeStudent!Reader
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A/N: A slight interlude in the "Get Off My Screen!" Series to keep you guys entertained while I write it's continuation. I apologize that it's taking so long! School's kind of been kicking my ass recently and I've had to focus more on work than my fanfics. Don't worry though, I'll still be writing more Vox content(Lord knows we don't have enough /j) as long as you guys want to see it!
A/N: I love 🥭 Anon's idea and tbh I don't put it beyond Vox to do it either, I'm not sure if this is as good as the other installments but I hope you guys enjoy it nonetheless. Btw, reader is in college so she's somewhere in her mid to late twenties. Happy reading!
You glanced at the ticking clock above the whiteboard.
It was just five more minutes before the bell would ring and free you from this boring lecture.
You fought to keep your eyes open as your gaze wandered back to the teacher's PowerPoint.
You hated this subject the most, not even because of the topic itself.
Rather, the professor could be kind of an old-timey asshole.
Thankfully though, it wasn't all that bad.
Not when you had to deal with an equally irritating digital companion anyhow.
Somehow you'd rather take Vox's bullshit over your professor's-
Speaking of, you both had fallen into a somewhat odd routine in the following months.
From greeting each other when you woke up or went to sleep-
To checking up on the other every so often within the day.
Not to mention spilling gossip when anything remotely interesting happened.
Either on his end or yours.
Like that time you saw someone's skirt snag in their locker door and just rip.
You could only snicker at their panic and shame.
The bitch highkey deserved it anyway.
Vox couldn't stop laughing when you eagerly told him all about it.
He knew you could be vicious if you wanted to.
Even if he was aware how much more inherently kind you were compared to the likes of him.
Sometimes the fact you found his companionship worth maintaining-
Or at least tolerable enough to keep-
Genuinely surprised the tech overlord.
Especially because you'd both been communicating for a little over a year by now.
It was nice interacting with someone else that weren't Velvette or Valentino.
Not that he'd ever openly admit to it.
It wasn't like Vox hadn't seen or heard you either, despite the fact he couldn't directly mess with the microphone or camera on your devices.
Your photos and files had more than enough stuff.
You often left him imagining your reactions and voice whenever the both of you chatted.
After all, most of your interactions were practically texting.
Sometimes you even wondered if Vox was constantly bored to end up finding companionship with you.
Or maybe he was lonely, who knows.
You genuinely couldn't be fucked.
He was an interesting guy and that was all that kind of mattered to you at the moment.
Your notepad window popping up snapped you out of that train of thought.
Glancing over at your laptop screen, the small desktop pet Vox gave you merely sat in the corner pointing at the notepad.
Oh it could do angry emotes too-
A slurry of words started pouring into the blank open text window, you figured Vox was probably having another shitty day.
Geez, who would've thought that hell would actually be absolutely crappy?
Well, let's see what he's complaining about this time...
This man was really typing way faster than you could read-
You were able to garner pretty quick what he was bitching about though.
Even if you kind of found the source of his irritation quite childish and kinda stupid.
"It's so dumb! The fact I can only talk to you with this goddamn thing is driving me insane!"
"Aaaand? What's wrong with the notepad? You also have the desktop companion."
You definitely started calling it that only because Vox was getting pissy that you were referring to it as a 'pet'-
"It can only do so much dollface, it's just glorified texting at this point. Besides, the tiny version of me is just an animated emoji keyboard."
"Well you already mess with my software regardless of what I tell you, what's stopping the great 'Technology Overlord' from hacking my camera and microphone?"
"Haha, very funny doll. Don't you think I would've done it already if I could?"
At this point you kinda just wanted to laugh at the whole situation.
Vox, a demon, one who could control electronics to his every whim-
Or so he claims.
Was being pissy about not being able to talk to you properly.
You couldn't tell if that was supposed to be endearing or hilarious.
He always got worked up over the smallest inconveniences.
You saw it as him being just very observant-
But it could also highkey be from his captain control freak tendencies.
"Then just make an app or something, you'll figure it out. Mess with the software settings or whatever."
That was the last message you wrote before the school bell suddenly rang out loud and clear.
You didn't even read his reply before shutting your laptop down and arranging your belongings.
Soon enough, you were the first one out of the classroom and more than ready to go home.
Vox knew you'd shut down your laptop after he got hit with his custom Voxtech screensaver.
Similarly to the wallpaper, he'd changed your screensaver to something more on brand.
While he did take your suggestion into account, a part of him wondered why he didn't bother trying in the first place.
But given the issues with him trying to access the built-in camera and microphone-
Vox felt a little concerned that modifying your devices too much could corrupt them.
That alongside all of your files and the data you had stored.
Wait...
Concern?!
He didn't actually care about your shit did he?
Oh fuck it!
He'll do whatever he wants to!
He was still careful not to really change much, he knows how annoying file corruption is and he didn't want to actually damage your data in case it had stuff you needed.
You weren't surprised that he'd taken your words literally-
You noticed a peculiar looking app appeared on all of your devices when you had arrived home.
That's a really fancy looking V design, was this Vox's doing?
Upon opening the app, you were greeted to a slightly odd looking interface.
It looked kind of like a more... sci-fi-esque styled chat room?
You wanted to say it lowkey looked like an Omegle room-
Before you could really nitpick at the design though, a text notification popped up on your phone.
You had just set everything up too, it seems like it came from the new app.
"Testing, testing. Are you getting this (Y/N)?"
To say you were amazed at what Vox had done was an understatement.
He was able to do so much in just so little time-
Just- how???
Oh, right- you should probably reply to that-
"Yeah yeah, I gotchu."
"Fucking finally! Working around your firewalls and antivirus was an absolute nightmare!"
Aaaaaaaand here came the usual ranting and bitching-
You just threw your phone on the bed and left to take a shower and freshen up while he kept at it.
Vox was actually quite proud he got the app to work.
Especially without affecting the existing system on your computer much.
If anything, it wasn't any different from the games or social media applications that already existed on your computer.
Granted, when he first booted the app to try it- the darn thing kept crashing and glitching.
But that was easily and swiftly dealt with.
Well, after much frustration and screaming but yes- taken care of.
By the time you came back, you saw an animated version of your wallpaper appear windowed in the app.
Right... that was supposed to be his face.
"Hello? (Y/N)? Can you hear me?"
What-
What the fucking FUCK-
Apparently, the thing you thought that was just a gif or an emoticon was actually a livestream of Vox's face.
And that was how he sounded like?
Okay that seemed pretty on brand for a telecasting television now that you think about it-
But how the hell did he manage to do this-
"Vox?! What the hell!"
You yelled out in retaliation, only growing more confused when Vox didn't reply or just kept repeating if you could hear him.
So he couldn't hear you, but he found a way to sort of project himself into your device.
What kind of upside-down thing is this?
Picking up the phone, you quickly used the chat-box to reply.
"I can hear you, but I don't think you can hear me?"
Vox just audibly cursed from what you could guess was frustration, staying silent and presumably typing out a reply.
Just how long had he been trying to fix this problem?
"I can't access your cameras or microphone whatever I do dollface, this was my last resort."
Seeing his live reactions allowed you to notice the genuine frustration and exasperation he had with the situation.
It kind of made you feel a little guilty for just brushing him off all the time now.
You always thought it was quite... old-timey for Vox to want to talk to you face to face.
Hold a "proper" conversation as he put it.
But maybe that was just because he grew that fond of your company.
Geez, what a sap.
"It's fine dude, I'm glad you made a specially designated space for our conversations though. My notes were starting to get cluttered with our conversations stuck in there with my school stuff anyway."
You could swear the small smile you saw on his face made saying all that worth it.
There really wasn't any reason for you two to switch mediums, but the new app wasn't unwelcome.
You were really starting to care more about this dumb TV head.
As you and Vox went back into comfortable regular conversation, you found solace as both you and your companion once again fell back into the odd routine you grew used to.
Come morning however, you were seriously reconsidering giving Vox the idea about making that custom application.
It was a stupidly large can of worms that you didn't even realize existed-
Notification after notification, you wondered just how much time the technology demon had on his hands to constantly bother you.
"Vox, I know you're happy about your app but can you stop spam sending me memes for five seconds?"
"Eh, not feeling it."
"Go to hell you dumb picturebox."
"Already here dollface, already here."
You facepalmed.
What an idiot.
Well, he was your idiot.
A/N: I'm leaning towards this being more than a just friends thing, dunno if I'll make it romantic or not in the continuation but I'd reckon that Vox and reader would get pretty close by now sooooo hahaha have fun y'all :D
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ne-nene-ne · 1 year
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♡ How to gain the dragon's affection ♡
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-> things you can do to make this handsome fae weak in the knees
malleus x reader (fluff!)
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Wear or carry the things he's gifted you!
Whether it's a necklace, bracelet, or even a mini gargoyle statue, have it on you! Malleus will beam with pride when he sees it on your person. I feel like he's a bit of a possessive person, so he'd love seeing you dressed in the things that he, himself has chosen and gifted you.
Indulge him in his passion for exploring ruins and his love for gargoyles!
If you show even the tiniest bit of interest in gargoyles or ruin exploring, you will see Malleus' eyes light up immediately and he will begin talking about it for hours. Please allow him to do so. Not many share his passion or are interested in these types of things (if at all), please listen to him ramble on. Heck, join the Gargoyle Studies Club! Give this dude some company because he's pretty much the only member there. 😭 And look, he's aware that not everyone is interested in the same things he is, but if you at least put in the effort to listen and try to understand, he'd be a happy fae
Include him in your activities!
We already know how much of a complex he has towards being invited/uninvited, so if you constantly make it a point to include him in whatever you're doing, he will feel loved. I don't think he'd be picky about what kind of activity you'd be doing. He'd be open-minded to whatever it is. In fact, he'd try to find possible ways to make it easier on you if it's a difficult task. If it's an artsy/creative activity, like painting, there's a chance he'll either be pretty good at it at first try, or he'll end up making a bit of a mess. I also don't think he'd mind much of this either, even if he did end up looking silly. He would laugh it off heartily and probably be like, "How interesting...!" He's curious about your ways and is very much willing to learn. His adoration for you will just increase if you try to teach him
Help him raise his tamagotchi!
He absolutely loves his Roaring Drago and so if you offer to help him "raise" it or offer to watch over it whenever he's busy, he'll fall more in love with you. Not only will he feel closer to you as you both nurture the little creature, he might even begin to see a future with you and your own little ones (if you ever had that in mind) and oh, how he knows how much he'd love that life dearly if it was spent with you.
Share that full-sized cake with him!
This one is oddly specific but as seen in his profile, Malleus dislikes full-sized cakes because he tried eating one entirely by himself 😅 (ofc he wouldn't feel great afterwards). You might be met with a resistant attitude or sour face from him (out of instinct) when you bring out that whole cake, but show him that it isn't as bad as he thinks when he shares it with someone. Maybe he'll like it! And if he doesn't, well then you guys can smear the leftovers on each other's faces and have a bit of fun!
This poor boy has just been left out on a lot. Make him feel welcomed, wanted, and loved and he will adore you forever 🥺❤️
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a/n: not really proofread tbh but it was a fun one! I might just turn this into a series and do the same for other twst charas. I'm thinking of Azul or Leona next, hmm
And OKAY so I originally posted this on @lyneira (my brand new writing blog) but my posts on there aren't showing up in the tags yet so I guess I'll still be posting some of my writing here until tumblr allows them to be seen 😭 somebody pls interact with my new blog so that tumblr doesn't think I'm a bot 😔
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taintedcigs · 6 months
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GETAWAY CAR — rockstar!e.m. x f!reader
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CHAPTER FOUR: TWO NOTES AND A HEART DOWN
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✦ summary: in which eddie takes you for a trip down memory lane and you finally read the note. (wc: 9.4k+)
✦ warnings — ANGSTANGSTANGST, argument </33, yelling, crying, mentions of sa (nothing happens) like its not brought up AT ALL it's insinuated like the tiniest bit, mean!eddie, kinda asshole-ish? pining and slowburn, strong language!, mentions of alc*hol and drg use and a toxic/ab*sive relationship, food!!
✦ pairings — rockstar!eddie munson x fem!reader, past billy hargrove x fem!reader, eddie munson x chrissy cunningham
✦ authors note — sorry for the wait but i hope a 9.4k chapter makes up for it omg! also feel free to chat with me in the asks abt this series (and anything tbh) pls!! not proof-read pls ignore mistakes!! ive been struggling with this chapter A LOT. its not at all how i wanted to write it but i was just tired of holding it off :// so hope u guys enjoy and this is like the last fluffy chapter lmao its all angst from here on (well kinda)
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His nose skimmed against yours, a mere breath away from the temptation of your soft lips, everything you’ve been wanting on the tip of your fingers.
But you couldn’t do that. It didn’t matter if he was sorry or if it was casual. Chrissy still existed. And he still kissed her in front of you.
Friends, is what he promised. And this was going to ruin it.  
“Please, look at me,” he pleaded, you could hear the desperation in his voice. Your eyes blinked open slowly, how close he was to you had your eyes widened. 
"I-I don't even know what's wrong with me," he breathed out. "I feel like...I feel like I'm losing my goddamn mind, and I don’t even know what just happened,” he said in a strained voice. 
“I-I just… I look at you, and I’m absolutely terrified.” He gulped. “It terrifies me that—” He stopped himself before he could spew out more. 
It terrifies me how much I would do for you, he wishes to say, but he doesn’t, he can’t. 
“I can’t—we shouldn’t be doing this." He stammered, quick to lean away from you.
“I-I know” You agreed hesitantly, because you knew this was a bad idea. But your stomach burned at the thought that he wanted to not kiss you because of Chrissy. Was he actually going to be with her now? Did he lie about things being casual? 
“Do you…” You took a deep breath, “do you like her?” Your voice was strained, it was barely above a whisper, but Eddie heard you loud and clear. 
Your heart rate picked up quicker than you intended it to, you leaned further away from him, your mouth flooded with a bitter taste. 
“No!” His eyes widened, he answered it so quickly that the idea that he was lying sank further into you. 
“No, I-I don’t know… I just-” He breathed. “We agreed to being friends… We should keep it that way, and I can’t keep doing this,” he stammered. “I need to stop hanging on to the past.” 
“but, fuck. Each time, I try to, you just… prevent it!” He admitted, without realizing the weight his words held, your brows pinched quickly. 
“I prevent it?” You enunciated with an exasperated chuckle. 
“Jesus fucking Christ,” you mumbled under your breath as your body turned away from him, elbows holding onto the edge of the pool as you swiftly lifted yourself up. 
Eddie just looked at you, baffled. “Do you realize how unbelievable you are?” You spat, looking down on him with your hair still wet and your dress uncomfortably stuck to your body. 
“What are you talking about?” He gave you a puzzled look.
“Nevermind,” you huffed, facing away from him.
Eddie groaned, following you as he exited the pool swiftly. “Why do you even care?” He asked, breathless. Taking another step closer toward you. 
“I don’t,” you lied with a gulp. You were a bad liar. And Eddie knew that. 
“You don’t?” He narrowed his gaze, giving you a second chance to open up, but he knew you were too stubborn.
“I don’t.”
He huffed. “Fine.”
“That…” He paused, “was a mistake.” You could feel that horrible ache in your chest return. Sure it was a bad idea, but a mistake?
Did he really hate you that much?
“What does that mean?” You swallowed hard. Your heart was breaking the more he spoke, you wanted nothing more than to shut him up. 
“It means we-I shouldn’t have done that,” he corrected himself with a tinge of disappointment in his tone. But what exactly did he mean by that? Did he mean that the almost-kiss was a mistake because it could ruin your potential friendship? Or did he mean it in a way that suggested he liked Chrissy?
Those words were enough to have your heart drop into your gut; your whirlwind of thoughts were mocking you, the idea that Eddie had a chance of liking her was eating away at you, and all you could do was stand there and watch it all unravel. 
You parted your lips to speak, but all that could come out was a weak mutter of, “okay.” You turned your back on him quickly, picking up your jacket from the ground. You put it on in a struggle, fighting back the tears that were pricking your eyes. 
“What are you doing?” He asked with a puzzled look, and you refused to look back at him before your feet picked up. He didn’t seem to realize why his answer truly crushed you.
“I-I’m going home.” Your voice was barely audible; there was a lump sitting in your throat, causing your breathing to stammer.
“With what exactly?” He huffed, following behind you. 
“I don’t know,” you muttered with a roll of your eyes. “I’ll figure it out… I always do, don’t I?” You shrugged. 
“Don’t be ridiculous, I won’t let you walk alone like this. You could catch a cold, or something could happen to you, Pinky." His voice was laced with concern, brows furrowed as he hurried to your side.
“I don’t care,” you muttered with an emotionless expression.
“I do!” 
“Do you?”
“Of course I do!” He spat. “Please, don’t do something stupid and reckless. I can take you home,” he mumbled with a huff. There was no fucking way he’d let you walk home alone. 
“And I have a towel in my car,” he added, you slightly huffed. It was chilly, your dress was soaking, and he was right. There was no way you could get home without him. At least until you were willing to freeze off or get hauled by whatever was roaming in the forest. 
You followed him to the car with a simple nod, Eddie still failed to notice why you had gotten so upset, not realizing the implications his words held. 
-
By the time you got into the car, you were shivering, faintly muttering a ‘Thanks’ to Eddie as he wrapped the towel around you, brows creasing with worry, but he didn’t know what to say to you. 
Usually, he wouldn’t have let it go; he would’ve tried to get it out of you and ask you if you were okay, but when you were this upset, it was no use. 
The ride was silent except for the faint sound of Eddie’s mixtape filling the space between the two of you. He had asked if you had anything specific you wanted to listen to, but you shut him off with a faint shake of your head. 
Your heart was aching. Like he had just ripped open your chest and taken it without a care, not noticing how tight he had been squeezing and releasing it. As if he were toying with it. 
And you felt nauseous. You weren’t sure if it was because you didn’t get a chance to eat all day or because of that mocking thought in your head that told you that Eddie wanted Chrissy.  
Once your stomach grumbled, your question was quickly answered, your cheeks heated up as you crossed your arms against your chest in an attempt to shut it up. Eddie gave you a slight chuckle. “Munchies?” He chuckled. “Do you wanna get something to eat?” He asked with a reassuring smile. 
“I just wanna go home,” you grumbled as your gaze refused to meet his. “C’mon,” he muttered with a huff. “Do you even have anything to eat at home?” He asked all-knowingly. You shook your head, you didn’t; your fridge was empty; it was late, so you couldn’t get any groceries; not to mention, your messy kitchen was in no condition to cook. 
“Are burgers still your favorite food?” Your face unintentionally lit up at that; he was definitely thinking about Benny’s, and your mouth-watered just at the idea of their cheeseburgers. 
“Benny’s?” You asked with an involuntary smile on your cheeks, and Eddie swallowed a deep breath. That curve of your goddamn plump lips was driving him crazy. 
“Yeah, do you want to go?” He muttered slowly. “O-okay,” you mumbled. 
First the Wheeler House, then Billy’s stupid camaro, then the pool, this goddamn van, that mixtape, and now Benny's... this whole day had been a nostalgic mind fuck for you. You couldn’t complain, though; no matter how upset his words made you, you were still so pathetically happy to spend some time with him, ecstatic that he didn’t let you go. 
And so was Eddie. That’s why he had been holding his tongue back; he wanted to know why you cared so much about Chrissy. Sure, what she did with Billy was horrible. But it didn’t make sense. There had to be something he didn’t know.  
By the time you guys arrived at Benny's, it was past midnight, so, the place wasn’t packed, of course, but surprisingly, there were still a lot of tables besides the two of you. Eddie let out an ‘Aha!’ sound once his eyes caught the booth that was nestled in the corner. 
The same one the two of you always shared. The white light loomed over its padded, dark maroon seat, and you slid onto it with a huff. Your senses were immediately greeted by the mouthwatering aroma of toasted buns. The air was infused with a disgusting smell of frying oil, but all of it smelled irresistible to your growling stomach. 
Once the two of you got situated, Benny was quick to rush to your side. “Welcome to Benny’s, what can I get you—” 
"Oh my god!" Benny's eyes widened, his face breaking into a wide grin. "Didn't expect to see you! Jesus, how long has it been?" He chuckled, his memory working overtime.
A smile adorned your face, Benny had always been nice to you and to Eddie, giving you one too many free meals, always telling you that it was not an issue despite your protests, knowing of your absentee parents, just like the rest of the town did. 
“Very long,” you added with a chuckle, “missed your cheeseburgers.” You pouted. 
"Yeah?" Benny's excitement was palpable. "Mmhmm, nowhere in New York does it as good as Benny's," you hummed sweetly.
"Now, you're just butterin' me up!" Benny dismissed with a chuckle, eliciting a warm smile from you.
"But, New York, huh?" Benny inquired, raising an intrigued brow. "I've seen this one around, a lot, even last week." His finger pointed toward Eddie, prompting your brows to furrow.
Last week? 
“So that's why you weren’t with him.” He added, realization dawning on his face. Eddie was quick to shoot a painful gaze toward you, one that almost said, ‘no, she wasn’t with me because she left me’, You didn’t know how it was possible to share a language just through your shared gaze, but it had you physically gulping. 
“Uh-uh, yeah,” you mumbled, your gaze avoiding Eddie’s. 
“I gotta say though…” He leaned down, almost like he was telling the two of you a secret, “It’s really nice seeing the two of you together, again.” Benny said with a sly smirk.
“‘Bout damn time y’all got together,” He teased further. 
Your eyes widened in unison, both sets of cheeks warming before you spoke up. 
“Oh, no—” You were quick to dismiss with your hands.
“We’re not—” Eddie joined in your protests.
“So, what can I get for you, lovebirds?” He hummed casually, ignoring both of your protests. Your eyes locked before both of you shyly avoided each other’s gaze. “The usual?” 
“Uh-uh, yeah," Eddie grumbled, suddenly more interested in the wooden table. 
When Benny turned toward you, “same for her, but with extra pickles.” Eddie said almost automatically, your brows pinched together and Eddie mentally cursed himself, “I-I mean… if that’s still your order…” His words smushed together, cheeks quick to heat crimson red. 
“It-it is," you mumbled. 
“Alright, comin’ right up,” he threw a wink at the two of you, clueless of the awkwardness apparent in the air. 
It was stupid, all this back and forth all day. You weren’t kids anymore; you should have been able to just be friends and hang out, not fight. Yet, somehow, it had spiraled into a seemingly impossible situation.
Talking it out wasn’t going to do anything. If the two of you wanted any chance to salvage whatever your relationship was, you needed to talk about the bigger picture; everything needed to be spilled out. But neither of you wanted to do that. 
Unspoken feelings were lingering, and none of you knew when they would boil over. Both of you desperately wanted to cling to the promise of being friends and make the most of it. 
There were a lot of things you could say to him; you could choose to talk about Chrissy, you could choose to talk about L.A.; hell, you could choose to talk about his nerdy game, but your curiosity got the best of you, and before you could help it, the words spilled out of your mouth. “What were you doing here last week?” 
Eddie was almost taken aback by your question, not expecting you to be curious about him again after icing him out for so long. “I like coming here,” he shrugged. “Whenever I’m in Hawkins, I drop by, you know, to write some stuff.”
“Here?” Your face scrunched, finding it hard to believe that a greasy diner could ever be inspiring. 
“Yeah,” he chuckled, “most of our second album was produced in this bad boy.” 
"Are you serious?” Your brows raised, “and the rest of the band is just okay following you here?" You narrowed your gaze playfully, your hands finding a resting place on the worn wooden table.
Eddie’s mouth twitched with a smile. “Yeah, actually, they’ve gotten pretty used to it,” he confessed, “you-uh… I don’t know if you ever got to listen to the second one-”
"I did," you interrupted, voice resolute.
“Y-you did?”
“Of course.”
Eddie hesitated before asking, "What did you think of it?"
“Great record, are you kidding me? It had such a unique sound… You know, like, a timeless quality that makes it stand out?” You said excitedly, and he nodded with a raised brow, “that much?” He asked hesitantly.
“I’m not kidding, Eddie. You know how I don’t pull punches with music; if it wasn’t good, I’d tell you in a heartbeat.”
"Which one's your favorite?" Eddie asked, his curiosity piqued.
You pondered for a second before answering, "oh, definitely Aurora!"
Eddie's shaggy bangs fell onto his forehead as he leaned closer, listening intently. "I mean, 'I just kinda died for you, you just kinda stared at me' is genius," you said, your voice filled with admiration. You didn't dare look him in the eyes.
"And really, really sad," you continued, a hint of melancholy in your tone. "The idea that you could give the whole world to someone, to the point where you describe it as dying, and they don’t even see it... it sounds awfully painful." You gulped, your eyes fixed on the worn wooden table. You weren’t stupid; you knew why it was named Aurora; you knew what the lyrics were alluding to.
His car. The same car that the two of you drove around in. The same car drove the two of you out of Hawkins. 
You knew he liked you way before he let you on, and you wish you knew. 
Maybe if you weren’t dating that douchebag, maybe if Eddie said something sooner, maybe if everything that happened when the two of you left didn’t happen… Maybe just maybe, the two of you’d be together now. 
Maybe if the timing was just right, it wouldn’t be like this; he wouldn’t have whatever he had with Chrissy. You wouldn’t have been in New York. 
But what were you supposed to say? What could you say that would change all of this? Even if you told him about what Chrissy did, even if you explained why you had to leave him in L.A., there was no use. The truth couldn't turn back time. You two had ventured down different paths, and it was painfully evident.
He wasn’t the Eddie you knew, and you weren’t the Pinky he knew; it was too fucking late. 
Eddie's mouth hung open in surprise; he hadn't expected you to delve into the song's meaning like this. Aurora was one of the heaviest songs he had ever written, and he held a special attachment to it. The label and the rest of the band had embraced it, which was surprising since they usually rejected his heartbreak songs, wanting more of that unbridled rage. 
He didn’t answer you; there was a weird tension between the two of you again, so you diffused it with, “but kinda lame that you decided to name a song after your car,” while eyeing Eddie to gauge his reaction.
Eddie chuckled. “Oh, bite me,” he teased, "but yeah, that one was also written here, in that same spot you were sitting.”
“Shut up!” You said, hand playfully reaching out to nudge him. 
"And to your question... I can't tell you why I was here last week," Eddie confessed, his voice carrying a hint of mystery.
Your stomach twisted at that, and you didn't know how many more punch-in-the-gut revelations you could handle today. "Why- uhh- why not?" You asked hesitantly, your words stuttering over simple syllables.
"Because then I'd be spoiling the note, dummy," he said, a mischievous glint in his eyes.
A deep breath of relief escaped your stomach, and you chuckled. God, he was a douche. "Wait... so does that mean... I have a song in my pocket?"
"Not exactly."
"I'm the first one to see it, huh?" You asked excitedly, hand teasingly dipping into your pocket.
"You and the rest of the band," Eddie huffed, offering a sheepish grin.
You gave him a quick glare. “You know I could leak this to the press and make millions, right? No more dealing with rude customers, and no more nine to five hours stuck in a record shop?”
He narrowed his gaze. "You can't get shit for that," he mockingly retorted.
"What?" You frowned.
"Yeah, it's basically like the first chorus and some gibberish notes, it's worthless," Eddie explained.
You pouted. "Aww, damn it."
"I'm kidding, I'm excited to read it,” you reassured with a wink, “you know… Maybe I could give you some notes on it? Review it?" You suggested.
“Didn’t know you were a musician.”
“Rude!” You huffed, “I may not be a musician, rockstar. But I sell records for a living. I can promise you, I listened to many more records than you did this year.” You said with a playful smirk.
"How's that like?" Eddie asked curiously, his deep brown eyes resembling longing and curiosity.
You leaned back against the cushioned booth, letting out a wistful sigh. "Working at a record store? A rollercoaster,” you chuckled, “lame in some ways, but also incredibly fascinating. New York's a whole different world compared to Hawkins."
Eddie couldn't help but study your face as you spoke. He noticed the faint traces of insecurity in the way you held yourself—an air of loneliness that came with moving away from everyone you knew and your family leaving you.
"But also, it took me a while to get used to it," you continued. "Nancy and Jonathan used to visit me a lot; they've really helped me adjust.”
“And you know, of course, Robin and Steve, too,” you murmured.
Eddie’s brows shot up at that. So everyone but him. 
It was a sting he couldn't quite shake, burning at his skin, that you decided to abandon him but were fine with everyone else, including Steve. 
Your absence in his life had left a void he couldn't fill, ever.
Yet, here you were, replacing him like it was nothing. 
Eddie knew he had no right to be jealous; you two were just friends, right? But it ate away at him; that feeling seeped through him, even though you were never his to begin with.
His face burned, and his jaw clenched involuntarily. He could almost feel the taste of bitter jealousy in his mouth, considering how it was overtaking his senses. “Steve?” He questioned; gaze seeping through you, an unbrittled rage ready to tip at any moment. 
You didn’t seem to notice it, though. For someone who was usually very perceptive, it flew right by you—that slight tick in his jaw, the way his fists curled, the storm raging beneath the surface.
“Yeah,” you murmured, his head turned away from you, gaze fixed on anything but your face. The other corners of the burger place was suddenly very interesting to him as he grappled with his own emotions.
“It’s pretty crowded in here, right?” you remarked, trying to draw Eddie into the conversation and gauge his mood.
“Uh-huh,” Eddie replied, his gaze remained distant, thoughts elsewhere.
Concern etched across your face as you pressed further, “Uh, are you okay?” Something seemed to be bothering Eddie, and you couldn't pin-point what it was.
“‘M fine,” he dismissed with a wave of his hands. 
He had to distract you and do something else because he was being super fucking weird, and you weren’t dumb; you could read him like a book. 
He didn’t want that awkwardness or tension to reappear; he wanted to talk to you freely, he couldn’t let his insecurities ruin this for him. 
Eddie’s attention turned back to you,  “is that what you want to do with your life?” his brows raised, “The record store, I mean.” He didn’t want to sound rude, he just wanted to know more.
“I don’t know… I never had much time to think about it.” You gave him a small smile, shaking your head gently, “also, I can’t really afford to think about it anyway.”
“But what do you want to do?” He probed.
“Anything concerning art… I mean I’d love to be a tattoo artist, too. That’s the likely path I’m going down, dunno if the salary is good enough, though.” You shrugged, “but you know what I’d love to be?” Eddie leaned closer, his eagerness clear. 
“What?” He asked, genuinely intrigued.
“Someone came in like a month ago, this bearded guy with lots of tattoos… We had a new album coming to our store that day, and he wanted to see them,” you mumbled with a warm smile, eyes glistening with a dreamy glow. “Then he told me about how he was a tattoo artist, but helped make some of the cover art for that album, and then something just like clicked in me.”
“I used to draw with the hope that maybe it could connect with someone, you know, like it did with me… I spent half of my childhood drawing and listening to music as an outlet. Whenever my parents left, whenever they were absent in my life despite ‘being there’, or whenever they had a screaming match, plates thrown at each other, the first thing I did was sketch, anything, on the notebook.” You mumbled, “or I listened to a record, and I let it consume me, in the hopes that it would drive me away from reality, diffuse the pain, even for a split second, and it worked,” you said with a simple smile. 
Eddie hung on to your every word, his gaze never wavering, admiring that creative spirit shining in you. “Art and music shift the world in the best way possible, and maybe it is dramatic but it also saves lives in a way, you know, by helping you get through something, or making you forget. And that’s my biggest wish… to have my art be important to someone, to make them feel like they’re not alone, in any way possible. So when I saw how that guy combined music and art like that, I thought, this is fucking perfect, this is what I need to do.” 
Eddie’s brows pinched together, “why haven’t you done it?” he asked, his voice a soothing lilt that could melt any doubts away. He could listen to you talk about your passions for hours, the way your eyes glistened with hope, that little quirk of your brow did when you found something interesting, it was heavenly to him. 
“C’mon Eds, be realistic,” you murmured sadly. “Half the people that work for a good record company or with a good band have fancy art degrees, they have connections, they have the money, the time to do it. No one’s going to want a nobody who doesn’t even have a college degree from a small town.” Your lips pressed into a thin line.
“Bullshit,” he spat quickly, dismissing the way you so quickly diminished yourself, “I was the trailer trash of Hawkins, and look what happened,” he encouraged in a harsh but also a warm manner, leaning closer. 
“Yeah, but you’re also a guy, Eddie.” Your voice wavered as you pointed out, “t-they have different expectations for women who don’t have those connections, or don’t come from like insanely rich parents… If you know what I mean,” you said with disgusted frowning upon your face, chill running down your spine. 
Eddie immediately picked it up, his face growing to one of concern, “W-wait-” his voice quivered, the color drained from his face quickly, you immediately knew what he was implying and shook your head, “no, no, not me! But I heard lots of stories in New York, it’s just disgusting,” your face scrunched. 
“That’s awful,” Eddie’s jaw clenched in anger, he knew there were a lot of scumbags in the industry, and it pissed him off that he could do nothing about it. He already felt guilty enough that he didn’t realize what a narcissistic asshole Billy really was, he wanted to help any way he could. 
And then, like a sudden light bulb went off in his head, an idea illuminated his mind. “Have I ever told you that our record company is in need of a new art director?” He pouted teasingly. 
Your eyebrows shot up as a giggle escaped your lips. "You're funny," you said, playfully skeptical.
Eddie, ever earnest, replied, "I'm serious."
“I-I can't do that," you said shyly, your fingers toying with the hem of your dress.
Eddie leaned in, and retorted with a, “and why not?"
“It-it feels wrong, and you don’t even know if I’d be good-“ you hesitated, not fully convinced if this was a good idea.
“Bullshit,” Eddie countered firmly, a small smile gracing his lips. “I know how great your art is, and I know how much you care about music, the way you describe it is exactly the reason why I love it so much.” Eddie always took you seriously and encouraged you about your dreams, no matter how unrealistic it was. 
“You know what you said earlier about how you wanted your art to matter to someone?” You nodded, eyes glistening with hope. 
“Your art is important to me, Pinky. The ones you sketched in your notebooks, is what helped me write some of my lyrics. The drawings you made when you were bored in class, the ones I have hung up on my wall still at the trailer… they mean so much to me,” he said in a hushed voice, he dragged his arm on the table, quick to point to the tattoo on his forearm. “This tattoo, is what helped with Corroded Coffin’s symbol bats, you do realize that, right?”
Skeptical, you scoffed, "you guys always had bats as your thing."
 “True,” he agreed, “but your design helped bring it to life.” He shrugged, “and you know the band better than anyone, maybe you could help us with our next album cover, too. I don’t think I could find someone more perfect for the job.” Eddie shrugged and smiled warmly.
“But-”
Your protests were gently silenced by Eddie, who insisted with a soft determination, “No but’s, just say yes, please.” His voice was sweet, sickingly sweet, you couldn’t say no even if you wanted to, and this was the perfect opportunity. 
“I mean I’ll just have a talk with them, show them some of your stuff, so, no promises. But I can be very, very persuasive,” he teased, a wink thrown your way.
You stammered, the excitement bubbling within you. "Y-you'd do that for me?” He nodded surely, “even after everything that happened?" Your tone was muffled, laced with insecurity.
"Anything for you," Eddie reassured as he leaned closer, that familiar, small smile tugging at the corners of his lips.
With your heart aflutter, you finally agreed, excitement breaking through the barriers of your insecurities. "If—if you really are okay with it, I-I'd love to."
“Of course,” he affirmed. 
“Alright!” Benny chimed in, interrupting the two of you. “Two cheeseburgers with a side of fries, and two milkshakes.” He hummed, settling the food in front of both sets of hungry eyes.
“Enjoy, lovebirds!” He said with a smirk, sauntering away to the kitchen. 
“Thank you!” Both of you exclaimed with happiness as you dug into the food.
As you munched on the crispy fries, you admired the other tables, each one occupied by a slice of life that you couldn't help but find intriguing.
One table was for a family of four. All you could hear was the distressed children, their whining echoed through the restaurant. The parents looked drained, faces etched with exhaustion as they juggled plates of half-eaten food, desperately trying to calm down and distract their kids.
Another table was occupied by a couple who was in a heated argument. The man wore a scowl, voice raised in anger, while the woman looked like she was about to cry, her eyes pleading for understanding.
But the last table was the one that you couldn’t tear your eyes away from, it brought a smile to your face. “Oh my god, look,” you said in a hushed voice, gaze pointing toward the booth that was nested in the far right corner.
Eddie was already face-first into his food, “later, ’m eating.” He grumbled. You poked your tongue out at him playfully. “Jesus… Forgot how grumpy you get when you are hungry,” you hummed, flinging a fry in his direction, causing him to pause mid-bite and chuckle.
“Oh, you don't wanna play that game with me, sweetheart,” he teased, dangling a fry in front of your face.
You grinned, your eyes dancing with excitement. “Just one look, and I’ll be out of your curly unbrushed hair, Munson,” you joked with a giggle.
His eyes rolled quickly, “you won’t stop until you get what you want, will you?” He asked with an annoyed tilt of his head.
You shook your head with a giggle. “Fine,” he huffed jokingly, dipping the fry in his hand into the vanilla milkshake, making an exaggerated sound of satisfaction as he devoured it.
“Gross.” You commented with mock disgust, and he rolled his eyes in response.
“Just tell me which table.” Eddie leaned in, his curiosity piqued as your gaze moved toward the couple at the adjacent booth. The girl was wearing a plaid mini skirt, expertly paired with a statement crop-top covered by an oversized leather jacket wrapped around her shoulders, likely borrowed from the curly-haired brunette sitting on the opposite side of the booth.
Her head was thrown back, and laughter danced in her eyes as she hung on to every word of the story he was telling. The curly haired brunette guy had a graphic band-tee and a guitar pick adorning his neck. Mascara smudged and eyes all red; you knew they probably had a long night. 
It reminded him of something, or rather, someone. 
He looked at you with his brows scrunched up, and you replied to him with a giggle. Both of you were thinking the same thing. 
“That’s fuckin’ weird.” Eddie mumbled with a mouthful of his juicy cheeseburger. “Are those our… doppelgangers?” 
“Right?” You almost mirrored him, taking a bite from your cheeseburger as you leaned further on your elbows. “What do you think their story is?”
“Uhhh-” Eddie grumbled, “us from five years ago?” His mouth partially obscured by the burger as he chewed thoughtfully, a furrow in his brow. 
“Such a detailed story!” You mocked. He couldn't help but notice how the dim diner lighting accentuated your features—plump lips looking so soft from the way you frustratingly groaned—which brought an unintentional smile to his face.
You were so breathtakingly pretty; even when you were munching on a burger, he was absolutely whipped.
Eddie shrugged, that shit-eating grin still on his face. He looked you dead in the eye before he took another big bite, stuffing more fries into his mouth. 
“Fine, I’ll give them a story,” you narrowed your gaze, “and you can keep eating your gross milkshake dipped fries,” you mocked, straightening up your back as you leaned closer, licking your lips before you spoke.
“So the girl… she’s pretty, like really, really pretty.” You said with a sly grin, your gaze now focused on the couple in question; if he wasn’t going to participate, then you could just drag this further. 
“And there’s the guy." You gestured toward the other booth, gaze narrowing as you turned back to Eddie. “He’s just... there, I guess, kind of looks like a douche,” you mocked, mouth scrunching as you looked at Eddie all-knowingly, head tilted to the side.
Eddie scoffed, responding with a lighthearted yet passionate defense of himself. “He looks like a total stud,” he grumbled in between bites with a smirk, “and that band-tee? He’s so fuckin’ cool.”
“Oh, yeah?” You challenged, “I think he’s a total nerd, bet he’s telling his dorky D&D stories to his best friend.” 
He stuck his tongue out, a carefree grin on his face, “Hey! You said you loved my campaigns!” He exclaimed and playfully tossed a soggy fry at you. 
You gasped dramatically, reaching for another fry to retaliate before Eddie’s unreadable expression had you frozen. “Shit, I totally forgot, what time is it?”
“Oh, you’re not getting away with that, Munson, we’re in a full fledged food war now,” you teased, holding a fry aloft, your gaze narrowing in mock seriousness.
“No, no, I’m serious.” Eddie insisted, causing you to huff in response. You turned your back to try to read the old-fashioned clock that stood on the wall. 
“Uh… 1.15, why?” you replied, your brows furrowed in confusion, trying to understand him.
“Shit! Shit, shit!” He cursed, getting up quickly while he started gathering his things.
“What?” You asked with a puzzled look.
“Wayne!” He exclaimed making you furrow your brows.
“What about Wayne?” 
“I promised to pick him up after his shift,” he explained with a sigh. “You know, since I kinda have the car.”
"Well, when did it end?” you inquired, still calm as you took another bite from your burger.
He eyed you with urgency. “15 minutes ago,” grumbling, he shoved whatever was left of his food into his mouth. 
“So, I’m going to see Wayne?” You asked with a smile. 
“If we don’t hurry up, you’re going to see me dead,” he exclaimed dramatically, making you roll your eyes. 
“You need to inhale all of that, now!” He screeched, and you looked up at him with a pout. 
“Now!” He snapped, hands clapping in front of your face. 
“Okay, okay, jesus!” You groaned, taking a deep breath, before you shoved a generous handful of fries in your mouth. 
-
When Eddie led you to the car, all you could think about was how Wayne would react—would he be mad at you? Would he be disappointed? 
Goosebumps appeared when a chill ran down your spine, you didn’t know if you could handle it. Wayne had been a staple in your life up until you left, he fed you, he listened to you when you needed it, he gave you a place to sleep, and he always reassured you that you were always welcome in their home.
And you didn’t even bother to say goodbye to him. Not that you didn’t want to; it’s because you couldn’t. When you and Eddie left, it was in a hurry. You had no time to tell anyone, not even Eddie told Wayne until you two were half-way there to California. 
But it still didn’t stop your guilt, it still didn’t help the way your stomach twisted at the mention of his name. 
Your feet picked up quickly as the thoughts filled your head, only stopping when Eddie called out to you. “I have to tell you somethin’” Eddie mumbled, eyes squeezing shut. 
A huff of air was quick to escape your lips, you knew it was too perfect to end like this, you knew he was going to ruin it. 
“She-uh… she’s coming to brunch tomorrow.”
You froze in place, almost everything fit like a puzzle in your mind now, and you didn’t know which emotion to feel first. 
Anger, jealousy, or sadness. 
And all three of them hit you at the same time. Because it made sense now, it was clear. He liked Chrissy. He wanted Chrissy. 
He wanted to move on with her. 
He had your heart in his hands, but this time he wasn’t toying with it; he was stomping on it, over and over again, not stopping until he was sure it was beyond salvageable. 
Hand almost frozen in the place you opened the car door without a word, settling into the passenger seat like nothing had happened. 
“Shit,” he cursed under his breath before he opened his side of the door, getting inside swiftly just to turn to you, “are you not gonna say anything?” he asked, voice carrying a desperate tone.
Your gaze remained fixed outside the window, your cheek pressed against the cool glass. “We’re going to be late,” you replied with a cold, unfeeling tone. Silence filled the car, mirroring the gaping void that now existed between you two.
Thankfully, Aurora didn’t give him any trouble when he started the ignition with a key turn, and the engine roared to life. You didn’t want to speak; you didn’t want to say anything to him. You wanted to save all of your emotions, contain them in the depths of your mind, and cry yourself to sleep. You didn’t want him to know how much this crushed you. 
But you couldn’t just do that; too disappointed to let it slide, the words escaped your mouth like a dam breaking, “I can’t fucking believe you.” 
“Just, listen, I-I didn’t even invite her-” Eddie tried to explain, but you weren't listening, you didn’t care, you were letting it all out. 
“How would you fucking feel if I kissed… Jason in front of you?” Eddie opened his mouth to answer, but you continued, “how would you feel if I invited him to brunch tomorrow?
Once you took a deep breath to gather your thoughts, he scoffed. “That’s not the same thing, Pinky. Carver made my life a living hell, he was a miserable bully.”
You should tell him, you should tell him what exactly Chrissy did to you.
You should tell him the whole story of that night at Steve’s party. 
The part he didn’t know. 
But you don’t. 
Because you’re too busy to worry about whether he actually wants to be with her or not, your mind felt full, anxieties and worries dancing around in it. 
“And Chrissy kissed Billy!” Your mouth dried up when that name left your mouth, you could feel that dreadful feeling consuming your chest. 
That night was still a blur to you—the way you caught them, the things Chrissy said to you, the way Billy swore that she initiated the kiss. 
Eddie shook his head. “She said it was a misunderstanding.”
You rubbed your fingertips on your forehead in disbelief. “And you believe her over me?” you asked, tone carrying a tinge of hurt and betrayal. The question hung heavy between the two of you.
“No, no!” He yelled out. “Jesus fucking Christ, stop putting words in my mouth, Pinky!” Eddie groaned in frustration, his hands gripping the steering wheel. “She explained it was a misunderstanding, and she does want to tell you that, too… maybe you could talk to her—”
You let out an exasperated chuckle, not interested in entertaining the idea. “no fucking way.” 
“If you want to be with her, then just fucking say that, Munson, don’t do all this fuckin’ bullshit,” you added, crossing your arms against your chest. 
“I don’t want- oh, you’re unbelievable!” He snapped, head bumping against the headrest of his van. 
“You make it fucking impossible to start over!”
“Wh-what does that even mean?” You retorted back.
“J-just when I’m about to start over, just when I-I’m going to…” He rolled his tongue inside of his cheek in rage as he paused to better explain himself. 
“I find a picture of you in my wallet that you put… or, or Nancy and Jonathan tell me that you invited them over…” You were on the brink of retorting when he continued, “or, or, you- you just barge back into town like you never left; talk to me like nothing fuckin’ happened.”
You didn’t dare to open your mouth; everything he said made you feel guilty. But everything he felt, you felt, too. Each time you felt like moving on, each time you wanted to try to be with someone, you physically couldn’t. 
Maybe it was selfish that you liked hearing him feel the same way too. That’s why the way he was being so vague about whatever he had with Chrissy was like a stab to your heart, in the most non-dramatic way possible. 
“You know… I used to think you were the best thing that ever happened to me… I used to think that you w-would always be in my life. That you’d be the one fuckin’ person who’d never leave me.” Eddie's voice trembled, and your throat was quick to tighten, lump forming as his words began to sink in. It felt like the car grew darker the more he spoke, your world crumbling down with it. 
“I was wrong about all of that... all you fuckin’ did was ruin it… You ruined my life.”
The faint strains of heavy metal playing on the car's stereo seemed distant, before you spoke up, wobbly lips slurring your words. “I… I r-ruined your life?” You slumped back on your seat with his words slicing through you like a knife, gnawing at your insecurities.
“Y-you really think that?” Words barely escaped your lips, voice quivering. 
He opened his plushy lips to speak, but he couldn’t answer; words died down in his throat, his gaze fixated on the road, lips pressed into a tight line. 
That in itself was an answer, you knew it, and he knew it. You felt exposed to him, like he knew your insecurities but still did nothing to hide them. 
You couldn't help but feel a hot prickle behind your eyes, the unshed tears were getting harder to hold back. You bit back on your wobbly lip, in an attempt to conceal the pent-up emotions that were begging to be let out. “This… this whole thing was a mistake,” you murmured, voice hushed and heavy with regret. The words felt like stones in your mouth, bitter and unpalatable. 
“We-we were caught up in ourselves, ther-there’s no fuckin’ way we could ever be friends,” you continued, driving home the painful truth, just so you could hurt him like he hurt you, just so you didn’t want him to know how pathetically you still wanted to be with him in any way possible. 
“I agree,” he grumbled, eyes still on the road. Tears streamed down your cheeks, tracing glistening paths along your cheeks, you didn’t even attempt to wipe them. Sniffles punctuated the air, body shuddering with an attempt to suppress your sobs, but then again, they were drowned out by the heavy metal music that echoed in the car. 
Eddie’s gaze fell on you every few seconds; but you didn’t seem to notice. And the guilt ate away at him, too, his brows furrowed in agony. He knew that wasn’t what he meant to say. He didn’t mean it in that way, you didn’t ruin his life; you never could—well, not until you left him. 
His knuckles tightened on the steering wheel; this wasn’t how everything was supposed to happen. He didn’t even invite Chrissy; she asked to come, and of course Eddie said yes, what else could he do? So he just wanted to give you a heads up. Just so things wouldn’t get bad between the two of you again, but he managed to screw it up.
Grumbles and some curses were all the two of you could hear when Eddie pulled up to Wayne’s workplace. With a huff of breath, your car door hung open. “I’ve been waiting for thirty minutes, rockstar; you better have some good fuckin’ excuse-” Wayne’s eyes widened the second his gaze met your sad figure.
“Jesus H. Christ!” Wayne exclaimed as if seeing a ghost. “Am I seein' that right? Is that who I think it is?” Despite the heartache gnawing at your insides, you managed a smile.
"Hi, Wayne," you mumbled shyly. Wayne, however, wasn't having it. "Oh, you're not gettin' off with a simple 'hey,' come over here, kid!" He said excitedly, pulling you into a bear-hug. The embrace was tight enough to make you giggle and sniffle, an unfamiliar smile on your lips.
“Where the hell have ya been?” Wayne inquired once he let you go. 
You tried to get up, offering him the front seat, he shook his head, hands holding you down by your shoulders, not wanting to interrupt the two of you.
You told him about everything—New York, your job, how you got here. Everything. 
And all Eddie did was drive; he didn’t look at you or even Wayne for all that mattered—not a single glance. And of course, this didn’t go unnoticed by Wayne. 
“Alright, kids, you two are bein' weird…” Wayne grumbled, glancing at Eddie. “Tell me what the hell happened. Some kind of lover's quarrel?” Eddie scoffed, and you couldn't help but snap your head in his direction.
"Somethin' funny, boy?" Wayne added, narrowing his gaze at his niece. Eddie sighed but still avoided both of your gazes.
“No, no, uhh- nothing happened.” He murmured.
Your gaze narrowed, and you couldn’t help the anger inside of you. “That’s funny, that is not how I remember it.” 
Wayne’s brows furrowed before he leaned closer to the front seat. “What happened, P? You know you can always tell me anythin’” he murmured with a reassuring tone. 
Eddie scoffed, rolling his eyes, but you ignored him, “he is with Chrissy,” you said, scrunching your face as you turned to gauge Wayne's reaction.
Wayne's brows tilted together, his eyes narrowing as he tried to remember that name. “You remember her? Strawberry blonde hair and-”
“The blondie that made you cry?” you nodded, “with that Hargrove kid?” 
“See, even Wayne remembers,” you grumbled, slightly elbowing Eddie to get a reaction out of him, only earning an offended huff.  
“I never liked him, you know,” Wayne continued, large hands gesturing vaguely to emphasize his point, “always thought you were way too good for him. A guy like him has no business with my Pinky.” You leaned further into the headrest, fingers fiddling with your jacket as you gave Wayne a weak smile. 
“Should’ve listened to you,” you hummed. 
“So Eddie is with her?” Wayne mumbled, face souring. 
“Boy, have you lost your damn mind?” Wayne was quick to chide Eddie, who was drumming his fingers on the steering wheel in an attempt to not snap at either of you. 
But it wasn’t working. 
"I told you I'm not with her!" he hissed, voice dripping with irritation. He shot a glare at Wayne through the rearview mirror, but his words were directed at you. 
“How would you explain kissing her and inviting her to our friend's brunch!” You snapped in Eddie’s direction. 
“Eddie, tell me you did not do that!”
“It-it’s not like that, Wayne.”
“Oh, really? What is it like?” You gruffly asked, curiosity and hurt evident in your tone.
“Eddie…” Wayne warned him shushingly with a disappointed look, he could see how much you were hurting, and he knew Eddie was a bit oblivious.
“What?” he groaned.
“Don’t worry, Wayne, he just enjoys playing with my feelings,” you replied with a scoff, fingers tracing the pattern on the car’s leather seats, a relief to your pent-up emotions.
“Oh, you’re one to fuckin’ talk,” Eddie muttered under his breath with an out of place chuckle, his anger overflowing after holding it back for so long. “Newsflash, princess. You weren’t the one to wake up all alone in L.A. with one fucking note, I was!” He yelled, words punctuated by the heavy breath he took between each sentence. 
“You should be grateful you have two notes in that pocket of yours because I barely got one!” 
“Will you stop bringing that up?” You plead, lip wobbling as you bit on it harshly to stop your emotions from spilling. 
“‘I can’t do this, sorry.’” He recited your words, and you refused to look at him. “Five letters, Pinky. Not even six. Five. You left me with that—no goodbyes, no nothin’, just a sticky fuckin’ note attached to the fridge.” His head snapped toward you.
A loud chuckle left your mouth, you turned to him with rage, and Wayne knew he had to step in or it was going to get ugly, even uglier than, whatever this was. “This isn’t even about that-”
“Alright, alright!” He interrupted, hands waving in the space between the two of you. 
“Simmer down, both of you! I know the two of you have a lot of unresolved shit… but don’t burn this bridge,” he warned, “not again.” Wayne’s words were quick to disperse the emotional fog that had surrounded the car. 
“The thing, whatever the hell it is, that y’all have… people spend their whole fuckin’ life lookin’ for it… Don’t be dumb.” That was enough to have the two of you shut up. 
“Talk it out.” He said, firm but fair. “I know you’ve both been hurt, so, be honest with each other, and apologize,” he continued, urging both of you to confront each other.
“Okay?” He asked, head hanging in the space between the two of you. 
“Okay,” both of you mumbled in unison, backs turned toward each other.
‘Too late’ was all you could think; that bridge was already burned. There was no way the two of you could ever go back now, right?
A sigh of relief escaped your lips when Eddie finally pulled up to your house, you didn’t waste any time saying goodbye to Eddie before turning to Wayne and giving him a hug. 
“See you around?” You asked with a hopeful smile.
“You better!” Wayne warned playfully, evoking a giggle from you. “You gotta drop by sometime, promise?” He asked with a sly grin, he knew exactly what he was doing. 
You didn’t want to see Eddie anymore than you had to now, but if Wayne asked you to do something, you’d do it in a heartbeat. 
You looked back at Eddie, your gazes connecting for a second before both of you turned away. “Uh-huh, promise,” you mumbled before exiting quickly. 
“What the hell are you doin’, kid?” Wayne exclaimed the moment you left, causing Eddie to look at him with a puzzled expression.
“Walk her to her door, for Christ’s sake!”
“I-I don’t think that’s a great idea,” Eddie explained hesitantly.
“Where are your manners?” Wayne scolded him, raising his voice. Eddie grumbled in frustration but ultimately gave in, cussing under his breath as he exited the car to follow you.
He ran after you, breathless once he finally caught up to you. “Sorry, I should’ve walked you-” He mumbled
You shook your head interrupting him, “no, it’s fine.” 
“So, uhhh…” He started, gaining your attention back to him. “Goodnight.” Eddie grumbled with a scratch of his head, barely able to look at you. He didn’t want to leave things like this, but the damage was already done. You could see the guilt in his eyes, but it didn’t matter now. 
He wondered what you would think of the notes; would you even read them? Would you get mad at him for the things he wrote? 
“Goodnight, Eddie.” You muttered back, turning to the door as you avoided looking at him, your finger shakily retrieved your key as you fumbled with it, doing everything in your willpower to not turn back at him. 
Eddie walked away with the same thoughts eating away at him. Were you going to look back at him? The temptation got the best of him, and he turned with a shy nod. You were struggling with your keys, muttering in frustration, and the sight unintentionally brought a smile to his lips before he hurried back to his car.
The moment you heard his car door open, you turned, slowly and reluctantly, only for your gaze to meet Wayne’s, who had an all-knowing smirk playing at his lips, waving at you. 
You gave him a shy smile before you hurriedly turned your back, finally opening the door and rushing inside. 
“You idiot lovebirds are goin’ to be the death of me,” Wayne grumbled to himself with a shake of his head, watching the way you scurried inside.
Once you locked the door, you rested against it, a sigh of relief escaping your lips. Your thoughts were swirling,but there was only one thing that was overpowering everything else; the note. 
You furiously searched for it in your pocket, curiosity filling the course of your veins as you fished it out of the left one, your hand shaking as you held it in front of your eyes. 
The words scribbled in the closed note had your heart racing, afraid of what it was going to say, once you fully opened it, your eyes roamed through it quickly.
The note was dated a week ago. 
Don't fool yourself,
She was heartache from the moment that you met her.
My heart feels so still
As I try to find the will to forget her, somehow.
Oh I think I've forgotten her now.
(Is it obvious this last line is sarcasm?) 
Your fingers traced the line that had the parenthesis and were crossed out. Eddie’s notes. If you the tears that escaped your burning eyes weren’t distorting your vision, maybe you would’ve appreciated some of the lyrics, and his funny notes, even though they were messy and all over the place.
I don’t blame you, but sometimes I wish we hadn’t met. (This is kinda too out there, but there could be something from this???)
Your heart pounded against your ribcage—that familiar ache that never fully left returned with a sharper pain. It hurt that he thought of you in this way. He thought you ruined his life, and now he wished he had never met you. 
Those thoughts sank into your brain, and the anger that came with them was something you couldn’t comprehend. There was a lot more of the scribbled nonsense that you couldn’t read, other lyrics that were scratched out. 
Your hands were shaking once you flipped it over. The other note was dated today. 
I lied, didn’t I? I think I would prefer all the heartache in the world to not knowing you. I didn’t even realize that until today. Until I saw you across the room. And I can’t even explain how good it felt to look up and see you standing there. Even with that frown adorning your face.
Your tears hadn’t stopped, falling onto the piece of crumpled up paper and making a mess. 
You felt like an idiot; you should’ve told him when you had the chance, and you had a lot of them. You were angry that you let everyone walk over you. You were angry that Billy had gotten away with everything. And now, Chrissy had a chance with him without ever paying for the consequences of what she did. 
You couldn’t let that happen.
You didn’t want to be polite with your sadness anymore You didn’t want to absorb everyone’s pain to make sure they were okay. And you hated that that’s what you did essentially did when you didn’t tell Eddie about Chrissy. 
You paced around the room, biting down on your nails. 
Should you tell him? Or was that too selfish?
Because if you wanted to tell him, you had just the perfect opportunity to tell him and confront Chrissy; the brunch. 
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✦ final authors note —ALSO THE CHRISSY STUFF WILL BE REVEALED NEXT CHAPTER. IM SORRY FOR TEASING IT SO LONG BUT THE REVEAL IS GONNA BE GOOD I PROMISE LMAO. if you like this series pls support me by rbing liking and commenting ily thank youu🫶🏻 [EDIT: i forgot to say this but ofc the lyrics are not mine they are by jeff buckley’s incredible song “forget her” i listened to it A LOT writing this chapter👀 also if u can guess what the chapters title is inspired by ily]
permanent taglist (lmk if u want to be added): @mandyjo8719 @kellsck @batkin028 @hideoutside @sashaphantomhive @nabiiturner @andvys (ILY.)
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wileys-russo · 7 months
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childhood sweethearts (3) II a.russo x reader
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series playlist part one part two
this fic really does have my heart tbh childhood sweethearts (3) II a.russo x reader
alessia exhaled shakily, tapping her foot nervously as her eyes flickered repeatedly between the time on her phone and the door to the cafe, counting down each second which passed that you didn't arrive.
maybe you just weren't going to show up at all, could she even blame you if you didn't? it had been six years since the two of you really spoke, and your last words exchanged were hardly on friendly terms.
when her mum had called her to invite her to dinner with your family, her heart leapt into her throat. your name was something that hadn't crossed her mind in years, well no actually that was a lie.
alessia often wondered what you were up to, occasionally in a moment of weakness imagining what would be different had things not gone the way they had between you both.
but she'd banish those fleeting thoughts and insecurities as quickly as they arrived, knowing she'd just spiral into a tornado of overthinking if she dwelled on them too much.
alessia tried to trick herself into believing she was fine with how things had ended, pushing her real feelings deep down away and filing them under painful memories she'd rather not resurface ever again.
but they always did, and no more so then when you'd walked into that restaurant beside her brother and every thought, feeling, memory and emotion she'd repressed the last six years came soaring to the surface, she could have thrown up with how suddenly she was swamped by them.
the pain only grew when you refused to even meet her eye, greeting everyone else first and alessia was almost certain if you hadn't had to sit beside her the two of you likely wouldn't have even conversed that entire night.
"hi i'm so sorry i'm late i got held up at work." she was snapped out of the depths of her overthinking as you hurriedly dropped down into the seat across from her, exhaling heavily and dropping your bag on the floor beside you.
"that's alright, i hope everythings okay?" alessia rushed out, playing with her fingers which sat dormant in her lap as you nodded, starting to ramble on about the frustration of substitutes not doing their assigned pick up duty so you'd had to fill in.
realising you were getting on a tangent and meeting those ever so familiar ocean blue eyes you suddenly stopped, clearing your throat and apologising.
"you don't need to be sorry, you've clearly found the right career. mum was right when she said she was sure you're an amazing teacher." alessia complimented with a soft smile as you nodded, admittedly still unsure quite how to interact with her after so much time.
"so...how have you been?"
~
"-no because that time was entirely your fault! you were always getting us in trouble." you chuckled, shaking your head at the grinning blonde across from you, your coffees long finished, empty mugs pushed to the side.
"i was not!" alessia defended herself with a playful offended scoff, unable to stop the smile spreading on her face. "you so were! every single time we had detention it was your fault, and any time we got in trouble with our parents it was one of your genius ideas that lead up to it." you couldn't help but smile yourself at the fond memories.
"miss!" your head turned as you heard a voice call out for you, spotting one of your students frantically waving at you from the counter. "sorry, he insisted on saying hi. i tried to explain that you have your own life outside of the classroom." his mum smiled apologetically as the boy hurried over and she chased after him.
"thats perfectly alright. i always say if you guys see me around to give me a wave and thats what you did, charlies one of my best behaved students! aren't you?" you smiled fondly, holding your hand out for a high five which he happily gave you with a grin, waving goodbye as his mum smiled gratefully and hurried the two of them away to another table.
"sorry about that." you apologized to alessia, a slight blush coating your cheeks as the blonde shook her head. "don't be, that was quite adorable. your class clearly love you and who could blame them." alessia complimented with a dangerously familiar look in her eyes as you forced a small smile and glanced down to your phone, eyes widening as you realised you'd been here well over two hours now.
"i should really get going, i've got dinner to cook and lesson planning to do for tomorrow." you smiled apologetically, alessia nodding in understanding as you both reached for your bags. "could we do this again, soon?" the girl asked hopefully as the two of you stood outside, causing you to bite the inside of your cheek.
"look alessia it was great catching up and i'm really glad that football and everything else is working out so well for you. but i just, i don't know if i can make this a regular thing." you admitted with a slight wince, watching as her face fell at your answer.
"why not?" as soon as the hurt was plain on her face it was gone, replaced instead with a firm look of defiance, folding her arms over her chest. "you know why, please don't make me say it." you responded quietly, shuffling uncomfortably and adjusting your bag on your shoulder.
"god you are so frustrating." alessia dragged her hands down her face with a shake of her head. "whats that supposed to mean?" you were now the one to respond with a frown.
"its like i said at the restaurant y/n we were best friends for years before anything changed. we've just spent the however many hours reflecting on how good that time was, i know the way things ended wasn't ideal but why can't we just work on getting a friendship back?" alessia almost begged, taking a step toward you and frowning as you immediately took one back away from her.
"before anything changed...the way things ended? you are so arrogant, as if it was nothing!" you scoffed and shook your head in disbelief that she could dismiss what happened so easily. "that's not what i fucking meant and you know it, don't put words in my mouth." alessia warned, jaw clenching tightly.
"no i think it was exactly what you meant. at least to me alessia what went on between us meant a hell of a lot, and it hurt when everything fell apart. for god sakes we were each others first everything! i can't just go back to being your friend after six years like none of it even happened." you had to stop yourself from shouting at her, well aware that she was a public figure now and though the cafe behind you wasn't crowded, you never knew who was inside listening.
"you are putting words in my mouth. just-" "no alessia, i've spent too fucking long getting over you to fall back into the trap of caring again." you regretted the words from the moment they fell from your lips, cringing with a shake of your head.
"i need to go i'm sorry. i really didn't want to argue with you but i just-I can't do this with you again alessia, good luck with everything." you forced a pained smile, the strikers stomach plummeting as you reached out, your fingertips just ghosting hers sending a bolt of electricity up her arm at the feeble touch, hurrying off away before she could even open her mouth to respond.
~
it seemed your words had struck a chord as you didn't hear a single peep from the girl the entire week following, it had been days of radio silence between you both and you had spent the whole time convincing yourself that was what you wanted and it was for the best.
you weren't sure what alessia had said to her own mum but yours seemed to be relentless in pestering you about how catching up for coffee went, you once again dismissing that too much time had passed and it was awkward.
though the ever persistent woman didn't take the hint it wouldn't be happening again and had tried time after time to press you for more, and you'd taken to dodging her phone calls all week just to avoid the ongoing conversation.
on the bright side you'd made it through another week and you were settling in well to life back in london.
you'd found a favorite coffee spot for your much needed morning brew on the way to work, loved your new school and your class, had dinner and drinks last night with a few co-workers at a local tapas bar and genuinely enjoyed their company, you were on top of your workload and despite needing to currently dodge her you were enjoying living closer to family again.
however you were a creature of habit and so saturday nights were always your night to relish in your own company, recharge for the week and properly switch off. armed with a face mask, a chinese and a glass or bottle of wine at your side, finding some sort of trashy reality nonsense to engross yourself in for the evening.
your family knew this and knew to leave you be, your friends knew this and had long given up trying to drag you out with them unless it was for some sort of holiday or celebration, and your co-workers you'd only gone out with last night and weren't yet all that close to.
which is why it caught you so off guard for your phone to be ringing at half past eleven at night, you'd almost dozed off with a bowl of crisps in your lap, snapping to attention at the ringtone.
rubbing your eyes you fumbled around in the blankets adorning your body for your phone, eventually finding it and answering without looking at the contact, assuming at this time of night it was either an emergency or a scam.
how you regretted that choice.
"you actually answered!" you winced as a loud and very intoxicated voice slurred in excitement, holding the phone away from your ear at the unexpected volume, music pumping away and people laughing in the background.
"alessia?" "baby! what you doin?" the girl slurred and you could already imagine the dopey smile which would be plastered on her face at her words, and the way the corner of her eyes would crease as she squinted.
you grimaced at how much one simple word could cause years of healing to wash instantly away. one little baby and you were suddenly sixteen again, wrapped up in her strong arms sharing soft kisses and giggling about something that happened at school that day.
growing up alessia wasn't one to ever drink all that often given how much time and energy she invested into being an athlete. though on the rare occasions she did drink you quickly learnt the girl couldn't handle her alcohol.
she was a messy drunk to say the least and anytime a drop of alcohol passed her lips you'd abandon your own, knowing you needed to be there and sober to look after her.
"why are you calling me? and at...half past eleven at night." you sighed, collapsing back into the lounge and tiredly rubbing your eyes. "because i wasn't lying when i said i missed you." she laughed and you shook your head at her words.
"alessia you're drunk. i'm going now, please be safe." you tried to wrap up the conversation, knowing she'd likely be embarrassed about this when she sobered up tomorrow, finger hovering over the little red button to end the call then and there.
god how you wished you'd pressed it.
"wait! i'm really smashed and my friends all left me, i can't find them and i need to go home. i'm seeing double babe!" the blonde groaned and you heard a smash and some yelling, your eyebrows furrowing at the noise.
"call an uber home then, or get a taxi." you remanded firmly but softly, knowing that in times like this she needed things very clearly broke down for her.
"i don't know how! i can barely see my fucking phone screen, can you come and get me?" she continued as you withheld a groan, sharply pinching the bridge of your nose at the seemingly never ending flow of possibilities for whatever you answered next.
"where are you?"
~
"god what am i doing here?" you mumbled to yourself, insecurely playing with the strings of your hoodie, feeling incredibly under dressed as patrons of the bar you were stood outside of stumbled around with giggles and drunken cheers.
"y/n?" you turned at your name, frowning at the unfamiliar voice as your eyes finally landed on alessia, who was not alone. "oh wow it is you, hi?" lotte spoke in surprise, eyes wide as alessia cheered when she spotted you, you weren't particularly close to many of the girls football friends but that hadn't meant you'd not known or become fond of some of them over the years, lotte and ella in particular were two names who came to mind.
"baby you actually came!" alessia stumbled her way over with her heels in hand, wrenching her bicep away from lottes careful grip. she was dressed in blue jeans and a charcoal coloured knitted vest, toned arms on full display as a rolex which probably cost you a months salary glinted on her wrist under the streetlights.
you shoved her away as she placed a sloppy kiss to your cheek, but had no choice but to grab her hands and steady her to stop her from falling over right afterwards.
"i didn't know you two were..." lotte trailed off with an awkward pause of uncertainty as you quickly shook your head, smacking away alessia's hands which poked at and clung onto you.
"we're not anything. we caught up for coffee once and it didn't go well, and then she called me tonight saying she was drunk and her friends left her and she needed a lift home." you sighed at the realization you'd clearly been played, feeling stupidly gullible as you swallowed the urge to yell at the tall dopey blonde beside you who really you knew had minimal control over her actions right now.
"well she ran off for a bit when we changed bars but then we found her again, we were actually going to send her off home but we weren't sure if a taxi would even take her, she's had a few too many." lotte winced apologetically as you nodded along with a sigh, knowing exactly how the older girl behaved when she drank.
"russo has a secret missus?" a brunette with a thick irish accent shouldered her way to the front of the group, slinging an arm around lotte and you shifted somewhat uncomfortably as her eyes narrowed and scanned you up and down.
"used to, not anymore. she hates me now!" alessia rolled her eyes moodily and you winced, knowing that sober she wouldn't have likely confessed that, especially given how much the brunettes eyes widened at the new information.
"wouldn't have pegged you for the type to drunkenly dial an ex russo, i learn new things about ya every day. she's quite fit though!" the brunettes lips curled into a smile and you felt a hot flush creep up your neck.
"lay off mccabe!" alessia scowled as her arm draped over your shoulder and you grunted as her body weight bore into you, struggling to keep the taller girl upright.
"oo and you're also the jealous type are ya russo!" mccabe continued to wind the drunken blonde beside you up with a grin, another girl stepping in to drag her back to the group with an apologetic smile flicked your way.
"are you sure you're right with her? i can get her in a taxi." lotte offered sincerely, glancing over her shoulder as someone from her group yelled at her to hurry up.
"no its fine, don't let her ruin your night. i know she's ruined plenty of mine before with her drunken antics." you sighed sparing alessia a glance who scoffed and stumbled slightly as you grabbed her.
"did not!"
ignoring her you again urged lotte to join her friends, sending her a reassuring smile and bidding her a good night as you struggled to move alessia through the crowd of drunken party goers and won the street towards where you'd parked.
"for fuck sakes just get in you idiot!" you grunted as you all but shoved her into the passenger seat, clicking her seatbelt in and slamming the door shut.
"why me? why?" you looked up to the sky with a sigh of defeat, rubbing your temples for a second before moving around to the drivers side and sliding inside, wincing at the strong smell of alcohol wafting from the girl beside you.
"don't touch anything!" you swatted her hands away as she reached for the gearstick, sinking back into her chair with a huff. "you're so bossy now, you weren't this bossy before. you used to do whatever i told you!" alessia slurred with a roll of her eyes as you started up the car.
"yeah? well then it took me six years to grow a backbone. now where am i taking you?" "home." "well obviously alessia but i don't know where that is, do I?" "god can you stop that!" "pardon?" "the whole alessia thing, i hate the way you say it. call me less, or lessi, literally anything else!"
"just tell me where the hell im driving you so i can go to bed? please!" you sighed in frustration, looking at her expectantly. "fine. only if you agree to hang out with me again!" the blonde tilted her head at you, staring with half lidded eyes.
"that is not how this works. i'll kick you out right here and you can walk home!" "if i end up dead in a ditch cause you left me i don't think your mum or my mum would be very happy." "maybe not but you know what? you are no longer my problem to deal with or my mess to clean up anymore alessia. you're responsible for your own shitty choices and their consequences! like calling your ex and lying about your situation to come and get her to pick you up, and then trying to manipulate her into doing what you want." you exploded suddenly, hands balled into fists as you let out your pent up frustration at this entire messy situation.
there was a thick silence that followed afterward and you refused to look at her, feeling her eyes bore holes into the side of your head.
"god you look so good when you're angry."
you let out a groan, head thumping down onto your steering wheel in defeat. the comment took you right back again to being a lovesick teenager, alessia's blatantly charming cockiness both equally attractive as it was infuriating even back then.
"just please tell me where you live so i can take you there and be done with all of this." "um...i forget." "you forget? how the hell do you forget where you live!" "stop yelling at me i'm drunk! all i can think about is jager and vodka and tequila and-" "i don't need a walk through tour of the bar cart currently sitting in your stomach alessia. can you seriously not remember your address?" "nope." "give me your phone then, its gotta be saved in there somewhere."
you grabbed it out of her hands with a roll of your eyes when she refused to hand it over, but trying to open it was a fruitless activity as the screen remained black.
"its dead." alessia commented with a lopsided smile and you almost threw it out of your window. your fingers drummed the steering wheel trying desperately to think of a way out of this. you didn't have lottes number so that was out, and you couldn't just leave her here as tempting an idea as that was.
you didn't have any of her families numbers, you knew where she used to live with them but that was hardly close by and you didn't even know for certain if they'd moved or not, and you did not want to call your mum for support right now.
which painstakingly and infuriatingly left you with all but one option as you sighed and shifted your car into drive, pulling away from the curb.
"where are we goin?" "home."
~
"this is really nice babe!" alessia slurred as you stumbled through your front door precariously balancing the intoxicated footballer clinging onto you, kicking it closed behind you and tossing your keys on your hallway table.
"stop calling me that." you mumbled, dragging her into the living room and pushing her to sit down on your lounge as you rubbed your neck, which was throbbing from having to cart around the girl who was easily a foot taller than you, and being so drunk meant leaning her entire body weight into you.
"make me some food please." alessia demanded, head thumping back into the sofa as her eyes fluttered closed. "what do you think i'm your on call taxi driver and personal chef?" you scoffed, kicking her sharply in the leg to wake her back up as she whined at the action.
"the last thing you need is anything else in your system which could wind up on my floor later. are you sure you don't feel the need to be sick?" you asked for the fifth time this evening as the blonde nodded wordlessly.
"c'mere and gimme a cuddle baby girl." her lips curled into a dopey smile as she opened her arms expectantly, barely able to hold her own head up as your entire body cringed at the long familiar endearment.
"absolutely not, and stop calling me names. you're going to bed!" you refused, wishing the ground would swallow you up as alessia groaned.
"you're so stubborn, and so hot. i miss you!" the blonde slurred as you grabbed her hands, hauling her to her feet with a grunt and stumbling your way to the guest bedroom, sighing in relief as you dropped her onto the mattress.
"no you don't, you're drunk." you replied firmly, running a hand through your hair with a sigh. "i do! i have for years, the one that got away." alessia shrugged, arm flopping across her face as her eyes closed.
with a roll of your eyes you left her for a moment, hurrying across the hall to your own bedroom and grabbing out some clothes. she may right now be the most infuriating person on the planet but you weren't about to make her sleep in jeans.
you hated yourself for caring, why didn't you just ignore the phone earlier?
"jesus alessia." you sighed as you returned to find her with her jeans around her ankles and her vest stuck over her head, meaning you quickly averted your eyes from her half naked form.
"help! i've gone blind!" the blonde yelled and you bit your lip to stop the smile breaking out on your face, shaking your head firmly. "stop that, god you're useless." you couldn't help but chuckle as you helped her strip off the rest of her clothes, again careful your eyes only remained on her face.
"made you smile." alessia slurred with a stupidly attractive smirk, poking at you as you pulled a black baggy shirt over her head, handing her a pair of shorts which she promptly threw over her shoulder.
"alessia!" you huffed as she shrugged, mumbling something about sleeping naked as she rolled over and with much struggle managed to get into the bed.
"god you're a nightmare." you turned to leave her as a hand gripped at the back of your hoodie, firmly yanking you downwards.
"no! get off." you grunted, struggling to wrench her hand away as she attempted to pull you into a hug. "i want a hug! i'll probably never see you again." alessia whined needily as you continued to fight her.
"ohh you always did like when i touched you there." the blonde laughed as her hand accidentaly grazed your bum and your breath hitched momentarily before you pulled yourself free, shoving her back down into the bed.
"jesus christ alessia please shut up before you embarass yourself any further, the less i have to explain to you tomorrow the better." you flared your nostrils and took a deep breath, counting to three and turning away.
"where you goin?" "to bed alessia, go to sleep." "isn't this your bed?" "no this is my guest bedroom, not that i can even really call you that given i had no choice in you staying here." "you can afford a two bedroom flat on a teachers salary? wow baby you're doing good!" "please stop calling me that, now go to sleep." "can't we cuddle? for old times sake, friends cuddle!" "we're not friends." "ouch, way to land a blow babe." "i told you to stop calling me that, now please just go to sleep."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
part four
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hobicakess · 4 months
Text
PLAYING DANGEROUS — (teaser)
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summary: It's been almost three years since Jack in the box was caught, and no one could make him talk. No one knew his story, and what drove him to become the monster he was today. That is until you're assigned your first story. What makes you so lucky?
rating: 18+ (I'm not your mother you're in control of what you consume)
pairings: Journalist!Reader x Criminal!JungHoseok x CEO!Kim Namjoon x Detective!MinYoongi.
warnings: smut murder, blood and gore, Jack In The Box Hobi, corruption, workplace abuse, yandere characters, possessive/obsessive behavior, dubcon, short hair namjoon (yes that's a warning), black/plus sized coded reader, violence from every single aspect, police brutality, mircoagression towards woc, lawyer kim seokjin, maknae helping cause chaos, manipulation, drugs and addiction, unhinged serial killer hobi (joker vibes tbh) , yoongi hates his job, namjoon loves his job (he gets to piss you off everyday)
authors note: howdy hotties! this fic was heavily inspired by this post, i don't think it'll be 30 chapters but something about it just spoke to me and itched my writer brain. even though the mc is black coded anyone can read ofc!! I can't wait to write for this series. if you'd like a tag pls comment below. Reblogs are appreciated and check out my other works (ෆ˙ᵕ˙ෆ)
part one
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There was a manic laughter that echoed through the new station. The giggles caused shivers and goosebumps to pass through everybody in the building simply because that laughter was familiar. The sounds were admitting from the little black box that sat on your desk. In horror you and your peers that happened to be close by watch the little black clown that popped from graffiti painted the box swing animatedly back and forth. Everyone in Korea knew this clown and what it meant.
“Mr.Kim is not seeing anyone right-” you push the secretary out your way causing her to stumble on her kitten heels and she watches you stomp your way into her bosses and yours office. The door opens wide slamming against the wall causing the booksvon the shelves to tremble, some even tumbling to the floor.
There he sat Kim Namjoon. He stared at you with his eyebrow raised. Some of the buttons of his black dress shirt were unbuttoned, the glass at his side was filled with brown liquid and even more books and papers laid out messily on his desk. .
With as much force as you could you throw the giggling box at him. The impact smacking him hard on the chest but with his build you were sure that it didn't do a thing. He held it in his hands flipping it over clicking an unknown button, shutting the gut wrenching sound shut off.
“ You told me if I took this story I'd be safe,*
Namjoon sighs as if you were speaking nonsense and not about life or death. “Let's be clear here you agreed to take this story when I only simply suggested it. Besides what makes you think Jack sent this?” He was right.
Maybe your coworkers thought I'd be funny to freak you out a little more since taking on the Clown killer case, still it was a sick joke that you didn't really find funny.
“Jack is locked in a maximum security prison surrounded by guards, and guns. He's not getting out anytime soon.”
The door swung open again and there stood his assistant. “Mr.Kim turned the news on!”
Grabbing the remote he clicks on the TV that was mounted on the wall of his office. The screen lights up showing a familiar smoking building. Your heart began to speed up in rhythm as you stare at the headline
Serial killer Jack In The Box escapes from Hangsang Maximum security prison
The screen flicks again to the dark red writings on the wall that used to be his cell.
‘See you soOn honey bunches 🃏’
And that was the last thing you saw before you tumble to the ground.
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©hobicakesss , please don't repost or steal my work. don't be a loser
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minispidey · 9 months
Note
I need to hear your most out of pocket HC about your fav Oscar characters that there really isn’t much evidence for but you feel in your soul is right. Can be fluff or nsfw!
For example:
I think Nathan actually likes to be topped and degraded. Do I have any evidence for this? No. Do I know in my pussy gut that I am right? Yeah 😌💅
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OUT OF POCKET HCS.
OSCAR ISAAC character headcanons
Content warning: just some real filthy shit. Uses female body descriptions. Breeding kink A LOT. Mentions cheating but doesn't get cheated on.
Characters: Nathan Bateman, Marc Spector, Jonathan Levy, Steven Grant, Miguel O'Hara.
Words: a lot.
Not beta read.
Requested by: @boredzillenial
Author's Note: i wish i could've written more bUT MY BRAIN IS JUST EXPLODING. Btw, thank you for requesting! Reblogs and comments are appreciated 💅❤️
MINORS DNI
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I swear. Nathan Bateman's head... you know exactly what I mean. LISTEN YOU SAID OUT OF POCKET SO HERE'S THE FANTASY: just... just grinding on it, your clit getting stimulated by his shaved head— he's not completely bald so I'm saying that if you caress his head, it'll still feel prickly.
Oh but imagine... breeding kink Nathan (tbh just in general i think all oscar characters would have a breeding kink)
Slow strokes, in and out of you. Nathan holding you still— not even in bed, he just wanted to fuck you in his office while idk doing research, but you were just standing in the corner of his office doing god knows what and he's accusing you of seducing him. And now here he was, his research forgotten and fucking you on his seat.
"Hm? When are you gonna learn your lesson that you can't just strut into my office and expect me not fuck the shit out of you?"
"N-Nathan, I wasn't even doing anything-"
"Shh... this'll be your punishment, okay?"
But at the end of it, just cuddling while he worked... but cockwarming him.
"Keep my cum in. Don't wanna waste God's seed, right sweetie?"
"Nathan, just shut up."
The moment you told him to shut up, something awakens in him.
"Slap me."
"Are you crazy?"
"Love, sweetie, honey bunny... please slap me."
Lets you ride him in your own pace for once, and he tried to stop himself from grabbing your hips and slamming you down on his cock.
"Naughty naughty..."
"Sweetie, please... fuck, you're driving me crazy here."
"Aw, don't you wanna cum in me?"
"F-Fuck..."
He fucking whimpers.
"God's seed shouldn't be wasted, right?"
"I'm never letting you be on top again..."
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Marc... oh my Marc. I have a mini series coming soon for the Moon Knight boys where Reader is has such a huge crush on Steven, and becomes his girlfriend after confessing. She meets Marc when he fronted, hates him so much and wants to punch him, but he has the face and body of her boyfriend and didn't want to hurt him. Maybe like an enemies to lovers with Marc and Reader, and Steven being happy that they're getting along. Jake will come later to me idk yet.
Imagine just going to bed in one of his shirts. Drives him CRAZY and the next thing you know, your sleepiness disappears as he fucks into you, just in a brutal pace. He loves groping you, breasts, thighs and all. If you're plus-sized/ chubby, he would hold your waist and giving you a squeeze here and there as he fucks you into oblivion.
Would top a lot but he loves it when you ride him and you get overwhelmed by his size.
"Come on, just a few more inches in."
"Marc... too big..."
Size kink applies to all the Moon boys. Well, because they share a body and uses one dick.
Marc just loves pressing against you. He's pretty experimental with the positions. Aftercare with Marc is just heavenly. Bubble bath, washing your body with a loofa. But then he gets turned on again and fucks you in the bath.
You could exist and just breathe, Marc will get turned on (like Nathan tbh).
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Jonathan Levy... ugh dilf. An actual one. Expect a long one (tw: mentions mira)
Usually it's the teacher-student love affair with this guy (tbh real) but seriously you can treat him better than Mira.
Something about you keeps driving him crazy to the point that Episode 4 and 5 of the show didn't happen 💅💅
He sees that you're absolutely nothing like his ex wife. And he loves the breath of fresh air. You loved all the things Mira hated about him.
Jonathan loves it when you cup his face and just stare into his eyes. Loves it when you pack him his lunch and put in notes. Brags about it a lot with his co-workers.
Just imagine being in love with him since childhood, being broken hearted when he married Mira, but one drunken night he realized he shouldn't have been chasing after Mira and turned to look at you. You finally had him.
His daughter adores you. Jonathan sees you being so good with children and he immediately goes "I want one with you."
Breeding kink dude. This guy obviously has one. He loves children. (Personally i would give him a football team because he deserves it) when you do get pregnant, he would be so caring and attentive. You're pregnant with his baby so obviously he would spoil you non stop. He would just smile at you whenever you get mood swings and start to get annoyed when he chews too loud.
Just a lot of fucking. Shower, bed, walls, even inside closets. He just adores you. He couldn't believe he was so blind not to see how much you've loved him and he would spend the rest of his life making it up to you.
"Jon, too tired..."
"Need you so bad, hun... just a few more, please? Wanna cum in you again..."
Mira hates you, but since you're you, you always one-up her and you two may or may not have gotten into a fight and Jonathan found you more attractive since then.
You become possessive of Jonathan whenever Mira's around, but Jonathan actually finds it really hot. Expect more than one round of sex with him on those days.
He never cheats on you even if Mira keeps pushing it. You were one of a kind, Jonathan knew how broken-hearted you would be if he did. Jonathan would purposely treat you like a lady in front of Mira, 100 times more than he usually does (which is impossible he already treats you so well)
Just... you make him a better person. You got him on a leash. He's not going anywhere.
Also he definitely loves risky sex. House filled with guests and you two are in the bathroom. He would even make you moan loudly that it'll annoy Mira who is passing by the bathroom. You enjoyed it when Mira's pissed off. You just hate her so much.
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Steven oh Steven. Just imagine trying to seduce Steven, and he's just clueless and continues to ramble on about Egyptian history and all, but you're trying to fuck him.
You want him to clear his table of books and just slam you on the table to fuck you. You go back to reality and he's smiling innocently at you as he kept talking.
You just hear nothing. His voice sounded muffled to you as your eyes scanned his face and stops on his nose... his nose.
Big noses. What Doja Cat said.
"Steven."
"Yes, love?"
"I want you to fuck me right now."
Soft sex with Steven. He doesn't want any position but missionary. He loves seeing your face.
Breeding kink? Yes. You all know this by now.
Falls silent when he cums, eyes rolling to the back of his head. It feels so overwhelming but so good. Loves filling you up to the brim.
Sometimes when you leave a pair of panties out, he would fight the urge to jack off to them. He just misses you so so much.
When you come back, he would push you against the wall and attack you with kisses and hickeys.
He also buys you a matching Koala plush keychain for your keys.
Sometimes you just want him to fuck you mercilessly, just slam you around and use you. UGH IM SCREAMING.
And back to the nose thing, he definitely let you grind on his nose at some point.
"C'mon, love... wanna taste you..."
Something about him nerding out just turns you on. You would suck his dick while he's talking. Even after cumming, you don't stop. You love seeing him overstimulated.
They say home is where the heart is. But god do you love the english 💅💅💅
Did he restrain you to his bed at some point? You told him to. And it unlocked a kink.
But do you know what kink Steven would have? Worship. Take it or leave it.
Messy kisses, his light colored shirts are stained with your lipstick. He ends up with his neck filled with hickeys. His back is scarred by your nails.
Risky sex? Fucking in the museum bathroom. Steven looked so hot behind the gift shop that you couldn't help it. Steven's dad material too, talks to kids really well.
So yeah that's when your breeding kink appeared. You wanted him to get you pregnant. He would be a great father.
"Cum inside me, Stevie. Fill me up."
Loves sucking on your tit while groping the other. He wants to make eye contact with you as much as he could while he does it.
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Bree- *gunshots*
This one is obvious though. He has a breeding kink and wants to get you pregnant.
Let's pretend Gabriella's alive here and he sees how good you are with her. He wants to have a bigger family with you.
"Gabby said she wants a sibling..."
Yeah. That's when you know, non stop breeding. Even when you're not even ovulating, he just fills you up. He wants to get you pregnant and see how good you look pregnant.
When you start lactating even before you give birth, he'd suck them out. He didn't want to waste good milk.
He treats you like a gentleman but at the same time you want him to slam you down and fuck you.
He's an old fashioned lover boy, romantic dinner and flowers. Gabriella has a babysitter while you two go on a date. She thinks you two are really perfect for each other. She draws you two a lot and you put them on the fridge.
"Daddy, I saw mommy kissing Spider-Man."
You two choked on your breakfast. Miguel hasn't told her yet about him being Spider-Man. He looks at you and smirks.
"Oh, did she?"
Prepare for a long night of degradation. Pulling your hair and jackhammering into you.
"Such a slut, huh?"
"Dumbass, you're Spider-Man. You can't call me a slut for kissing my husband."
He just fucks you harder. Miguel does get tired easily and lets you ride him.
Just... yes. And yes, he does bite you.
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rabbitsrants · 5 months
Text
SHINICHI KUDO IS TOO MUCH
guys, i'm currently working on the "reasons why shinran is one of the most brilliantly written romances of all time" masterlist and i came across this part of the manga:
chapter 44
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AND I AM LAUGHING MY ASS OFF
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shinichi is absolutely RUTHLESS in this chapter. correct me if i'm wrong, but this has to be his angriest moment throughout the entire series? i don't remember him acting this way in any other chapter 😂 like... shinichi is the type of guy who saves murderers from suicide, it's a well known fact that he values human life more than anything, HE'S A DEEPLY IDEALISTIC PERSON, YALL, THAT'S THE MAIN TRAIT THAT DEFINES HIM AS A PERSON and he straight up tells this dude (whos about to slit his own throat btw) TO GO AHEAD AND KILL HIMSELF
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this is the most unhinged i've ever seen him 😂
now, let me be serious for a second. obviously, shinichi strongly suspected that the culprit wouldnt go through with it - he spent the entire case trying to cover up his murder after all, that's not something a suicidal person does. still though. the fact that shinichi was willing to risk it says so much about his love for ran. cause that's what his rant is about. the culprit tried to kill ran on multiple occasions and almost succeeded a couple of times. if there's one thing that shinichi can not handle, it's ran being in danger. he'll lose his composure every single time and he will lash out, even at innocent people who are just trying to help:
chapter 640
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this man is so devoted to ran, it hurts.
that's why im so shocked everytime the fandom implies that ran is an irrelevant character who doesnt contribute anything to the story. if (for whatever reason) ran stopped being in the picture, the story would end right then and there.
people seem to forget that shinichi has prioritized ran over cases on numerous occasions (that aspect of their relationship deserves its own post tbh, i'll hopefully get to it in the future), he completely loses his mind everytime there's even the slightest risk that she might get hurt and this case right here? chapter 44? that's the wildest shit shinichi has ever said 😂 the part about justice was spot on and very in character for him, but the rest? it was brutal... and very unlike him. which is shocking, considering that ran was completely unharmed. do me a favor and let that sink in: the end of chapter 44 was merely his reaction to the thought of losing ran - he completely lost his shit. now, if ran actually stopped being in his life? shinichi wouldn't just lose his temper, he'd lose himself.
for the record, this isnt me implying that he would go rogue or whatever. the reason why shinichi is so angry in chapter 44 is because ran is okay and tangible, so he still has something to lose. but if she was gone? if she stopped being his life? he wouldn't be angry, he'd be inconsolable. if the level of anger displayed in chapter 44 and 640 is what we get when shinichi simply worries about ran's safety, just imagine the level of heartbreak that we would witness if he genuinely lost her.
shinichi loves and needs ran so much, it's unfathomable for most people, including me. everytime i think i cracked the case and finally figured out how much shinichi loves ran, he proves me wrong. and while i think that most cold cases are a tragedy, i think im coming to terms with leaving this one unresolved. after all, love is the most mysterious force in the universe. and always will be.
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bella-rose29 · 4 months
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Deck the Halls (and not your partner) - part 6
Christmas Day, and the final day (supposedly)
Word count: 4.8k (damn that's more than I originally intended to write for this part)
Warnings: unrealistic depictions of winter in Britain (it snows a lot), swearing, Lockwood gets a hug from reader's mum and can't cope, lockwood's lack of sleep is brought up, reader has Feelings and can't cope, Stephanie and Linda are bitches again and get an awful gift for reader, body image issues, lockwood shouts at Steph, mentions of Lockwood's family (and them being dead), Stephanie (she's a warning all on her own tbh), cliffhanger of an ending
the picture doesn't really match the vibes but it's one of the few where he's not wearing a suit 🤡 (but also look how babygirl he looks)
(image credit to lavenderghostco on pinterest)
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Lockwood hadn't slept.
Instead he had spent the night trying to get Y/n to hear him through the locked bathroom door, but then when he'd heard quiet music playing and realised that she'd taken her walkman with her and was sleeping in there he had given up, shifting to lean his back against the door and pull his knees up to his chest.
Then he had used the rest of the night to go over what had been said between the two of them, and how horribly wrong it had all gone.
Why couldn't she have waited another two seconds for him to finish talking?
And why couldn't he figure out how to properly apologise to her?
When the sun had finally risen and slightly blinded Lockwood as it streamed in through the curtains that hadn't been properly closed the night before, he stood up, shaking out his stiff limbs and stretching. He got changed into some fresh, more comfortable clothes, having stayed in his suit from the day before all night, and headed downstairs to make a cup of tea.
"Oh, hello Anthony!" Emma said when he walked in to the kitchen. "Are you... alright?" She was frowning, likely because the dark bags under his eyes were far more prominent from the severe lack of sleep.
"Yes, I'm alright thank you. Just didn't sleep too well last night." He smiled at her.
"Oh dear," Emma replied, putting the kettle on. "Is Y/n alright?"
"She's fine. She did sleep in the bathroom though because she felt a bit sick, but she was out like a light right away." An easy lie to tell about the situation they had found themselves in, and Emma was too distracted making tea to detect any falsehoods.
"As long as the two of you are okay now then that's all that matters. Here's a mug for you, love."
"Thank you." It was strange how easily he got used to being part of this family. He was moving around the kitchen with Emma as though they had been doing it their whole lives, and he suddenly felt a pang of pain as he remembered doing the same things with his own family. Lockwood stopped, staring down into his tea that was now swirling around in the mug and blinking away the tears that threatened to fall.
"Anthony? What is it, dear?"
"It's nothing," he said, wiping at his face quickly and offering up a smile. Emma saw through it, though, and placed a hand on his arm. A similar scene flashed through his mind from last night, and his chest ached even more at the memory of Y/n instinctively comforting him and how he had likely ruined any chance of that happening again.
"Aw, love. I know we don't really... know each other that well, but if you ever want to talk to me about anything you know that you can, right?"
"Yeah, thank you, Emma," he replied. For some reason he felt the need to step forward and wrap his arms around her, but after a few seconds of Emma standing still he awkwardly pulled back, raising a hand to scratch the back of his neck. "S-sorry. I don't know-" he was cut off by her hugging him just as tightly as she had Y/n when they first got to the house, and although he couldn't breathe too well he felt... at home.
"Never apologise, love," she mumbled into his hair, squeezing tightly. "Like I said, if you ever need me, you let me know." she stepped back then to hold him by the arms and look him in the eyes. Lockwood nodded, suddenly feeling five years old again, and dried his eyes with the sleeve of his hoodie. "Alright?"
"Yeah."
"Alright. Now, you take this up to Y/n and make sure she's somewhat dressed and downstairs, because I think everyone else is starting to get up now and we'll do presents in a bit."
Lockwood took the mug and picked up his own tea, heading out the room after a quick thanks to Emma. A thought struck him as he carefully carried the mugs upstairs, and he really hoped that Y/n had presents because otherwise they would be in deep shit.
~~~
"Y/n?" Lockwood's voice tentatively called out. She huffed from where she laid in the bathtub wrapped up in blankets. What did he want? "Y/n? I've... I've got tea for you out here. I'm just gonna leave it on the bedside table for you. Uh, your mum also said that we're gonna do presents and stuff in a bit so... come down when you're ready I guess." He paused for a moment, then said "Do you... do you have presents? Because I didn't actually get anything and now I'm starting to feel bad because your parents are actually really nice and so are your siblings and-"
"Lockwood! Shut up! I got presents, alright?!" She shouted, getting out of the bath. She bundled up the duvet and pillow and opened the door to a slightly dishevelled Lockwood, pushing past him to chuck the blankets on the bed and grab some clean clothes from the suitcase. He had clearly been running his hand through his hair from the way it was sticking up at funny angles, and the bags under his eyes were far more prominent. She frowned, wondering if he'd had any sleep at all last night.
"Alright, I uh... I'll just..." he walked into the bathroom, everything about his movements more unsure and nervous than Y/n had ever seen him.
She changed into the clothes she had picked up, and only realised once the jumper was pulled over her head that it wasn't her jumper she had on.
It was Lockwood's.
She didn't have time to change before he unlocked the bathroom door and came back into the bedroom, stopping short in his tracks when he looked up and saw her stood in the middle of the room in his jumper. "I- This wasn't deliberate."
"I know," he said quietly, and she almost scoffed when he looked at her with sadness in his eyes. What right did he have to look that way when he had said those words last night?
"You're right. I won't ever like you in the same way as the others."
They had played over and over as she tried to get to sleep, wondering how he had managed to sink to an even lower depth in causing her pain than he had before.
"Here," she said when the silence grew uncomfortable, bending down to grab the group of wrapped gifts at the bottom of the case and handing a few to Lockwood. "We should head down I suppose."
"Don't forget your tea. I'll uh- I'll see you down there," he offered up a small smile as he left.
As soon as the door shut behind him she heaved a sigh, eyeing the tea on the bedside table sat right where Lockwood had said it would be. There was no point in letting it get cold, so she waited until the mug had been drained before leaving and going downstairs.
~~~
The tea had been a good way to start preparing herself for Christmas Day with her family, but on seeing Lockwood again (despite it only having been about five minutes) she could feel herself drowning at the prospect of having to fake this relationship for another few hours. At least it was only a few hours, since they were catching the only train running on Christmas Day that afternoon.
"And the last one for you, Y/n! Sorry, Anthony, you've only got a couple because we had no idea what you wanted and only found out you were coming a few days ago!"
"Oh, you didn't have to get me anything at all, Emma, really," he beamed, and Y/n wondered how he could act so well. He had always had a flair for the dramatic, leaping at the chance to put on an accent for reconnaissance for a case, or coming up with ridiculously fabricated tales of fights with Visitors to boast to Kipps, but that wasn't anything compared to hiding the fact that he had argued with the daughter of the woman he was smiling at, and was pretending to date her and love her regardless.
"I won't ever like you in the same way."
That had hurt the most, and Y/n had spent much of her time awake attempting to figure out why. It wasn't the entire sentence about Lockwood not liking her in the same way as Lucy, George, and Holly, as that hadn't been the part that had been on repeat. No, for some reason it had been his admission that his feelings wouldn't change from the hatred they shared that made her want to rip her heart out every time she saw his smile.
"Nonsense!" her mother said as she sat back in her seat. "Alright everyone, get stuck in!"
The next ten minutes were a frenzy of paper being ripped into and presents being opened, and Lockwood and Y/n were curled up on the loveseat like they had on the first day quietly working their way through their piles. At least they had an excuse for not talking to each other, since their presents were taking up the majority of their attention.
At least they ought to have been.
One of Lockwood's arms was around her waist, hand resting lightly on her thigh while he watched her unwrap her remaining gifts. He had long since finished, having thanked Emma profusely for the box of chocolates and ten pound note that he'd been given. Y/n was finding it difficult to concentrate with Lockwood's warmth behind her, and he was doing that thing where he stroked his fingers over her skin. His hand had moved from her thigh to her stomach, fingers drifting under the fabric of the jumper she had accidentally stolen from him and tracing patterns absentmindedly. It seemed to be something that happened any time they were in this sort of position, and she was frustrated at how much she enjoyed it.
"You alright?" he whispered.
"Yep." She didn't look back at him, instead focusing on the plain envelope she now held in her hands and frowning at it.
"Oh!" Stephanie cried out, and Y/n had forgotten just how annoying her voice was since they had barely interacted the day before. "That's from us! It's... well. Why don't you open it up?" If the smirk on Stephanie and Linda's faces were anything to go by, it wouldn't be Y/n's favourite gift she received this year.
"What is it?" Lockwood asked from behind her, peering over her shoulder at the piece of card that had been inside. "A coupon or a gift card or something?"
"Gym membership, Lockwood. They got me a gym membership." Dammit, her voice was shaking and her eyes were prickling with unshed tears, and worst of all she knew that Lockwood could tell. She hated that she leaned ever so slightly further into his body. She hated that when he brought his free hand around her to properly wrap her in a hug she was painfully aware of Stephanie and Linda watching every movement, and could feel their judgement of her body.
Then she hated that she felt safe and protected in Lockwood's embrace, like nothing could hurt her as long as he was holding her.
There was nothing wrong with how she looked, and it wasn't her fault that Stephanie was a size 2 (probably, Y/n had never bothered to ask) and liked to gloat about it frequently, but the cut ran deep and had done for years. When Y/n stood up and left much like she had on the first day, she wasn't surprised to see the triumphant look on her cousin's face.
~~~
Lockwood was fuming, but this time he couldn't set anything on fire.
To be fair, he hadn't been allowed to set anything on fire the previous times it had happened, and multiple of those accounts of arson were Lucy's fault, not his, but he still wanted to burn something.
How dare they give a fucking gym membership as a Christmas present?! What did they think they would achieve in doing so?! Stephanie and Linda clearly looked proud of themselves, and the sight of their faces made Lockwood feel sick when he remembered how Y/n's body had tensed up and curled into him more at the piece of card in the envelope.
Taking his chance after Y/n left the room, Lockwood stood up, then headed over to Stephanie. "Can we talk?" he asked, although the tone he used made it clear that he wouldn't be taking no for an answer. He led her out into the hallway, then into the kitchen for good measure, and his remaining restraint snapped with the sound of the door closing. "Are you out of your mind?" He hadn't shouted, instead keeping his voice as calm as he could, but he knew that his anger was barely contained behind his gritted teeth.
"I don't know what you mean," Stephanie simpered, and Lockwood took a step closer to her.
"A gym membership?!"
Steph shrugged. "She needs it. She's really let herself go the last-"
"No, she hasn't. And I would fucking know, because I live with her. She is perfect the way she is, alright? And you have no right - absolutely none - to give her that sort of thing as a Christmas present. It really just proves that you have no idea who she is, and that you're a fucking terrible person."
"Oh, like you're so honourable!" she spat.
"What's going on?" Emma's voice sounded, and the kitchen door opened to show the rest of Y/n's family that were still in the house. "Why is there shouting?"
"Y/n's little boyfriend here is accusing me of not knowing my own cousin!"
"Because you don't!"
"And you know more about her than me, do you?!"
"It looks like it, yes!"
"Everything was so much better before you turned up, do you know that? Why don't you scurry back to whatever shithole you and your parents live in and we'll carry on with our lives, yeah?" Lockwood flinched.
"Stephanie! Linda, please, can't you do something?!" Emma pleaded. She sent a quiet apology to Lockwood, looking distressed at how quickly Christmas Day had fallen into arguments.
"She's right, Emma. If he wasn't here then everything would be right again. Why don't we keep Y/n here for a few more days, and he can go back to his sad little life with his parents." He flinched again, barely having time to compose himself before Linda was smiling sweetly at him.
"I would, Linda, but I am not leaving my girlfriend here with you."
"Well," Stephanie started. "Why don't you invite your family up here then? I'm sure we'd all love to meet the people that raised such a... lovely... person!"
"Once again, I would," Lockwood said, as nonchalantly as he could, "but I very much doubt that you'd find much to talk to them about."
"Are they deaf or something?" Lockwood saw Y/n through her brothers' bodies, and she was trying to push past them to join him in the kitchen.
"Something like that," he smiled, hoping they couldn't see the sadness in it. Technically his family was deaf, since they were unable to hear anything on account of the fact that they were dead. Y/n stumbled forward, having finally been let through, and she righted herself and walked over to where Lockwood was stood.
"You alright?" she asked, her voice quiet so that only he could hear. "Just heard them mention your family and stuff, and Steph can be really mean about literally everything and I didn't want you to be on your own for that."
"Oh." He blinked in surprise. He hadn't thought that she would care too much since she'd ignored him and hated him thoroughly since last night. "I'm alright; I can deal with it, don't worry." His smile was soft, and for a brief moment he thought he might be breaking through to the Y/n he had come to know over the past two days before everything went wrong, but then the blinds were snapped shut and he was blocked out again.
~~~
Lunch was interesting.
Emma and Ben had slaved for hours to get everything ready, having left the morning celebrations at various points to put things in the ovens, or chop things, or do anything that was needed, and mid-afternoon their hard work was served up on huge plates to the family.
"Thank you, this looks incredible," Lockwood said, and Emma grinned.
"You're very welcome, Anthony!" She sat down in her seat, making sure everybody had food on their plates before taking up her cracker. Y/n's grandparents needed her brothers talking directly into their ears to explain what was happening over the noise of everyone else, and it took a full five minutes to get everybody with crackers in hand and arms crossed over before they could be pulled.
Hats were put on, and pictures taken on the family camera (and then Y/n asked Will to take some on her personal camera too), and finally they could start eating. People read out their jokes and trivia, and while the laughter of various family members was loud, Y/n couldn't help but feel like it was all muffled and distant. She was underwater again, her ears filled with water as she tried swimming up to the surface, but the weight of her cousin's gaze was dragging her down into the depths again.
Then a hand was on her arm, gentle but enough of a pressure that she was being pulled upwards, and Lockwood's voice was in her ear.
"Hey, are you alright? You zoned out for a minute there and I had to rescue your potato from going off the side of your plate."
Sure enough, her fork was pushing the contents of her plate closer to the edge, and she quickly let go of her cutlery to stop it. The knife and fork landed with a clatter, and while conversation didn't stop, it did die down as people looked in her direction. "I'm fine," she replied, knowing she was the opposite. Lockwood appeared to know too, because he was still frowning.
"Are you su-"
"Yes," she said harshly, and he flinched back.
"Okay, sorry." He turned back to his own food, and they didn't speak for most of the rest of the meal.
~~~
"Book!"
"Play?"
"It's a book, you idiot!"
"John, don't call Sam an idiot!"
"Mum, you can't talk when doing a charade," Will said, and he received a glare in response.
"How do you reckon the others are getting on with their holidays?" Y/n asked, and Lockwood was surprised at her question.
"I imagine they're all having wonderful times," he replied, revelling in the smile that graced Y/n's face. It was a shame that the cause of the smile wasn't him, but he only had himself to blame for that.
"That's good. At least most of the company is enjoying Christmas."
Somewhere in the house, a phone started ringing. Ben got up to answer.
"I'm enjoying it," Lockwood said, and Y/n swivelled in her seat a little to look at him. "Besides the obvious, of course."
"Me?"
"No," he huffed. "Why do you keep thinking that you're the last person I want to spend Christmas with?"
"Because you literally said that you wouldn't enjoy a second of it?"
"Well that was a lie, wasn't it? Honestly, do you not remember anything I told you last night about me having a nice time here instead of the usual shitty Christmases since I was six?" That was apparently the wrong thing to say, because Y/n froze up and stopped smiling.
"I remember last night, yeah," she mumbled, turning her back to him again. Shit.
"Thinking about it," he said, attempting to salvage the situation, "I haven't seen any baby photos of you yet."
"Be my guest." Her tone was bland, and Lockwood started internally cursing himself for bringing up the night before.
"Y/n, I'm sorry for what I said, alright? I was a dick and I should have explained myself better. Would you-"
"THE BIBLE! IT'S THE BIBLE!"
"YES!"
"WHAT?! THE BIBLE? THAT'S A CHARADE?!"
"Would you hear me out? Please? When we get a moment later," he asked, trying to mask the amount of desperation in his voice.
"You better have a good excuse, Anthony, because you really hurt me, and if you fuck up again I'm leaving."
"Leaving? What, like leaving the house?"
"Leaving the company."
Lockwood thought his heart might give out. "Wh- wha- what do you mean, leave the company?"
"I can't keep doing this, okay? I can't get up every morning just to be verbally abused by you all the time. It's not healthy for me, at all. I have to look out for myself, alright?"
"...Right. Yeah, no, that's... that makes sense." He was still reeling from her confession, so when Y/n's grandmother Jean tapped him on the shoulder he nearly jumped out of his skin. Y/n hadn't noticed, instead joining in with the ongoing game of charades.
"Why don't you take this, dear," she said, giving him a wink and handing over a sprig of some sort of plant.
"Uh... thank you?"
"Mistletoe. You know, it was originally a sign of peace, and if people met underneath it then they had to stop fighting, no matter what. Sounds like you two might need it," she smiled, but unlike Stephanie or Linda there was only love behind it. Lockwood stared down at the plant he held in his hand, but when he went to thank Jean for the gift she had already gone back to whatever conversation she was having with Tom, her previous chat long forgotten.
"I've got some news," Y/n's father Ben exclaimed as he walked back into the room, and everybody turned to look at him.
"What is it? Why do you sound so worried?"
"Nobody is going to be able to travel anywhere for about a week. I just got a phone call from Ted at the office." Lockwood felt Y/n tense beside him, and he tried not to do the same.
"What do you mean, Dad?"
"Snow warning. Weather officials are saying that a snow storm is going to hit us today and we'll all be snowed in. All trains are cancelled for the next week, and then after that it's unclear."
"What? So we're stuck here for another week?" Y/n asked, and Lockwood heard the panic creeping into her voice. This wasn't good at all, especially since he and Y/n now had to continue faking it for an extra seven days when they were back to hating each other. He needed to fix things and fast, or this holiday would continue to derail and end in flames.
"Sorry, love. I know you wanted to get back before the New Year."
"Yeah," she whispered, looking down at the ground. "Shit."
~~~
"Can we... can we talk?" Lockwood asked once they had a moment to breathe. After the news that they would be here for another week Y/n had excused herself and headed upstairs, and Lockwood had apparently followed.
"What is there to talk about, Lockwood?"
"Well don't we need to rethink? Originally we were only here for three days, and that was manageable. Now we're here for an extra week minimum? I don't know, call me crazy but I really do think we need to figure out how we're going to do this." He was running his hand through his hair again (what was in his other one, was that mistletoe?), but he stopped when Y/n looked him dead in the eyes and answered him.
"You're crazy." She didn't even know why he had the plant, unless he was planning on kissing her again and then ripping her heart out afterwards. Y/n went over to the windows to pull open the blinds the rest of the way to ignore the memory of his mouth on hers. They hadn't been properly closed the night before, and with how the sun rose directly through the windows Lockwood had probably been blinded by it that morning and woken up. He looked far too sleep deprived for him to have woken up at half seven in the morning though.
"Ok, well at the very least can we talk about last night?"
Y/n had stopped by the windows, staring out at the landscape and ignoring Lockwood's question.
"Y/n?"
"Holy shit." Where normally the view was the lake nearby and the forest in the distance, rolling fields spreading out in the foreground, now it had been coated in a blanket of white as far as the eye could see.
"What is it?"
"Just... just come and look." He did, hesitantly coming over to stand beside her and drawing in a breath at the landscape.
"Holy shit."
"That's what I said. Fuck. I was hoping it wouldn't be that bad and we could still find a way to get home."
"Yeah, we're not going anywhere in this. I'm sorry."
"Why are you sorry?" she frowned, turning her head to look at him. "You're not the snow god who deliberately penned us in my family home for an extra week."
"No, I'm not." Lockwood went quiet, staring out the window but not actually seeing anything, his eyes unfocused as he got wrapped up in his head. "Can we talk about last night? Please?" Y/n looked out the window again.
"What for? I think you said everything I needed to hear."
"I didn't, though. You didn't let me finish saying what I was going to say before you went and shut yourself in the bathroom." His tone was desperate, and Y/n half thought he might start getting on his knees and begging. A memory came back to her of her doing the same thing only a few days ago when she begged him to come with her on this mad venture. He'd been laughing then.
"Well I don't know that I want to know what I missed."
"I was going to say that I won't ever like you in the same way as the others, because I can't. I don't think I realised that until it was too late, but I can't like you in the same way I like George, or Lucy, or Holly, because I think that I'm-"
"Right!" Stephanie shouted, shoving open the door. She stopped short at the sight of Y/n and Lockwood stood so close together, and then again at the pain on Lockwood's face. Y/n hadn't realised that as Lockwood had been talking, he had been inching closer in his attempt to get her to listen to him. They were practically touching now, and Stephanie glanced between them both until they stepped back a little. "You two," she said, jabbing a finger in their direction once she'd remembered what she was there for, "have ruined my Christmas, I hope you know that!" Y/n shared a look with Lockwood. "So watch out, alright? Because I'm coming for you both!" she shrieked, and slammed the door on her way out.
Y/n and Lockwood stood staring at the door for a while before Lockwood spoke up. "Did she seem okay to you?"
"I think she's having some sort of breakdown."
"I thought so too."
"Sort of looked like a banshee or something."
"Especially with the hair all crazy like that, did you see?"
"She'll definitely have a breakdown when she sees that birds are nesting in it, for sure." It felt easy all of a sudden, and conversing with Lockwood wasn't as hard as it had been a couple of hours ago. There was hope, she realised. Hope that he really did have something nice to say. He wouldn't have looked quite so ridiculously desperate for her attention otherwise. She ignored the way that butterflies started fluttering in her stomach at the thought of Lockwood craving her attention so badly. Before this whole ordeal she would have simply felt smug about having the upper hand.
"I really didn't mean it in a hurtful way, Y/n. Although I can see how it came across like that."
"Well what did you mean, Lockwood? Because you did hurt me. And now we're fucking snowed in for a week longer than we planned and Steph is on a rampage. And when Steph is on a rampage she will absolutely have what it takes to uncover this whole fake relationship thing, despite having, like, zero brain cells the rest of the time."
He sighed, clenching his jaw in frustration. "I can't feel the same way because I'm pretty sure I've-" he paused, then took a breath. Why was he taking so long to say something that could make their entire situation easier? He looked uncertain again, and Y/n started feeling nervous.
Lockwood was never uncertain. He was Anthony bloody Lockwood.
Then when he spoke, she realised why.
part 7
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Tag list (there are so many people that if I forgot to add you then please let me know and I'll do that right away!): @ahead-fullofdreams, @aislinrayne, @anathemaloren, @anthgoldenhrry, @augustisintheair, @avdiobliss, @aysha4life, @bobbys-not-that-small, @briar-rose23, @curseofhecate, @dangelnleif, @edible-rat-vomit, @el-de-phi, @ell0ra-br3kk3r, @ettadear, @fearlessmoony, @fudosl, @idkbubs, @imaginebeingmentallystable, @informedimagining, @karensirkobabes, @light-23, @locklyebrainrot, @locklyle1kanij, @locknco, @mentallyillsodapop, @mischivana, @mitskiswift99, @mrsklockwood, @mrsyixingunicorn10, @newbooksmell777, @no-morning-glories, @novelizt, @phlooper, @ran23sblog, @simrah1012, @somethingrandomwatzit, @star-of-velaris, @superpositvecloudshipper, @t2sh0, @taygrls, @tournesol77, @whenselenefallsinlove, @wordsarelife, @y0urm0m12
let me know if you want to be added to/removed from the tag list! <3
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astrxealis · 1 year
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sometimes (often) i think about the characters i kin or relate to and then the realization comes in again and again that i need therapy (/lh?)
#⋯ ꒰ა starry thoughts ໒꒱ *·˚#unfortunately i doubt i will ever get therapy bcs i have this. thing. idk. but i believe in myself to just rely on myself?#and yeah i uhh can go on more about that BUT THAT'S NOT THE POINT OF THIS sorry i suck at explaining things. anyways#humans. interesting. i am fascinated by humans and myself and i'm tired of typing now GOODBYE anyways xiv music is so fucking good#and also idk how to interact w others sorry ..... i am scared of getting close to people bcs everyone i've grown close to has ended up#leaving me or i mess up! but tbh it's better now i think and also not as bad as i think but sorry i still have bad issues with. that#me saying i don't want to type anymore and then proceed to rapidly type out so many words oopsies#pls just do not PERCEIVE ME !! unless you want to ig but idk why you'd want to do that uhm#yk i like tumblr most out of all social medias bcs it feels like i can... sort of just be my weird self here! and it's not fully nice#and i still have anxiety problems and overthinking problems and whatnot which is evident by my 100+ notifs i havent checked since#christmas but that's not the point (?) idk whats the point honestly uhhhh nvm (??)#OH I LOVE FF SO MUCH tbh it's w/o a doubt still my favorite series ever but drake/nier is also up there for sure#which i think is amazing bcs i have yet to finish a game. and ive only like played idk 5 hours of replicant and automata#and then ive already spoiled myself on important aspects of all games but that helps ngl uh. i could explain but im tired of typing#ANYWAYS GOD actually noehgjbsejhbghjes i really suck w interacting w others i really wish i were better at all that#im not super introverted or shy im just kinda awkward and anxious but im a fun person and all and idk#and tbh its interesting thinking abt my personality... some parts of me havnt changed at all from a bit (/pos) like my lively. aspect of my#personality !! i was a bundle of energy and a little annoying (perhaps unintentionally but now i think its a bit more on purpose lol)#but the only person who really sees my true self is me. and the closest to that is lune. but even i dont know who i really am#and yeah... wnvr im like woa ill make more friends !! and then when i have the opportunities i suddenly dont care anymore IT SUCKS#anyways i think i have Opportunities now again so lets see haha ?? at least uhh in school. its like 2nd sem and i dont rlly have friends#as usual haha that sounds so sad help BUT its not like im disliked im just rlly quiet and shy at school..... throwback to 7th grade tho#that was rlly the worst but also now is just as bad in a diff sense but back then i cldnt talk w my crush at ALL i didnt speak at all im so#sorry about that HELPPP I RLLY JUST CLDNT SPEAK anyways moving on in my class rn i do have a group of sorts. like#we're grpmates wnvr theres grpworks and we can pick which is nice! ive been classmates w em all b4 and theyre the cool kids#but in the more fandom sense and one used to be a close friend of my twin and of mine too by extent and then the other was someone#who knew me when i was more extroverted so yeah uhhh anyways#OKAY ALMOST MAX TAGS im DONE rambling. bye. hopefully. bye. oh god
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bigfiasco · 1 year
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so you're telling me the two characters that gave us the only slow burn romantic moments throughout the whole god damn series DON'T end up together?? How do these two have more intimate scenes than couples that are MARRIED IN BORUTO??
Every ounce every hint every whiff of reciprocated romance that show had was from Neji and Tenten istg they are my swan song
This ENTIRE scene - The gentleness of him catching her? Her deliberately slow recovery?? The tenderness in that eye contact?? I was invading their privacy when I watched this episode
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Arguably the most damning of all - The ending to her perfect dream is Neji holding her while she essentially professes she is finally home now that they are back together?? I was speechless tbh and still am over such an obvious display of affection
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And this outwardly intimate moment was simply no accident for such a largely romance-avoidant anime
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One of the images that flashed in his mind when he thought he was going to die was OF HER front and center????
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She dresses up and wears lipstick for his Chunin match and then brags about him the entire fight?? I swear 90% of my girl's entire dialogue was his name
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Then she went to comfort him after his match and he confirms that she already knew about the curse mark? Which means he felt safe enough with her to disclose such a painful secret and shameful part of his life?
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Even twelve year old me was like this is clearly a thing. The effort the animators went to keep them close together in almost all of their scenes together as a pair is truly above and beyond
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Character designs to match the Hashirama and his wife??
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And then of course the meaningful nod to them fighting back to back since childhood so that she can cover his blind spot will never fail to make me sob
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I could go on but in essence I'm still devastated the one couple that carried Naruto and early Shippuden in the reciprocal romance department never got their happy ending - a tragedy for certain
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