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sannylity · 10 months

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Another fun and bolder AU!

Charlie as the president of QSMP. He is an ambitious and a sincere leader, though sometimes not effective but he is respected enough and loved enough by the people.

Mariana as his personal maid. He is hardworking and headstrong, shaped by his poor upbringing working to get to where he is now.

They are on opposite ends. They are worlds apart from each other.

And yet they hold a much deeper relationship. A secret they strive to desperately keep. What started as a physical relationship bloomed into something more sweet and more romantic.

There’s a lot at stake in a forbidden love like theirs. The possibilities of getting caught, other people being suspicious, rumors and journalists insisting to uncover the truth, the lines blurring between work and their relationship, the scandal of being found out…

Mariana didn’t know what he was signing up for, being in love with the leader of the nation.

Charlie didn’t know what he was signing up for, being in love with someone he isn’t supposed to.

Charlie has proposed to Mariana several times, that he is willing to give up his presidency and everything else just to be with him. But Mariana can’t let him do that, that there are things more important than their own happiness, that he’s content with their secret moments together.

Will they keep staying together and keep going, knowing that their relationship is doomed to fail? Will they end it before things escalated for the worst? Will they run away together, plan an escape and leave everything behind?

A few headcanons in this AU:

Mariana made a strong impression on Charlie by scolding him about being messy. A first for a maid to do to the president of a whole nation, and for that reason, Charlie made him his personal maid.

Mariana often helps Charlie dress up. Buttoning his shirt, straightening the lapels of his suit jacket, helping with the necktie. This is probably where the attraction started. A lot of eye contact and wandering hands and close proximities.

Charlie knows his maid is pretty, which unfortunately means that Mariana gets flirted with a lot. By other maids, by cooks and by bodyguards. Every time it happens, Charlie (kind of) takes advantage of his presidency and gives them a scare. Most of the time, he’d make sure that they change their stations, that their shifts are switched and they work as far away as possible from Mariana and such.

When they first had sex, they both promised that it will never happen again. Well… It didn’t last long. It happened again and again. And it was impossible to keep their hands to themselves until the first rumor broke out.

Charlie often showers Mariana with gifts from his travels. Mariana scolds him that they’ll be found out this way but Charlie can’t help but be reminded of his maid whenever he’s away and missing him.

They often talk about a lot of what ifs at night. That Mariana dreams of them running away and going to Cancun together. Charlie on the other hand, imagined having children with him, that they’d look good together as a family.

They have a secret code for secret meetings whenever there are people around. Like wrist taps, adjusting their glasses in a specific way, specific words in conversations.

Feel free to add more if you feel like it. Or use this for art and fics and stuff 👉🏻👈🏻. I was just having thoughts because as much as I love First Lady Mariana, I imagine an AU of a forbidden love affair but politcians LOL Imagine how hot, intense, dramatic, scandalous, fluffy and angsty it could be for Slimeriana NDJWJDJSJ

#slimeriana #slimecicle #el mariana #qsmp #qsmp shipping #qsmp fanfiction #qsmp au

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woodenfawn · 10 months

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The Rem Infodump.

The one where i rant about rem and subaru's dynamic and why it's special but i dont think a lot of people really understand it!

This was written a while ago and i may have some things wrong, and it's also good to note I don't think subaru and rem are unnhealthy for each other in the sense that they shouldn't be together (whether romantic or platonic), i just mean the situations they were in forced them to act in certain ways!

I think a lot of people who are bigger re zero fans (who also understand what the story is about) shy away from rem as a character because she's the one "only fake fans who watch the anime for the waifus" like, but while she's not my favorite character i want to bring her a little more appreciation from this side of the fandom!!

new-to-tumblr post spam 3/4 complete, i'll slow down after this XD

I tried tagging with spoilers but just in case it didn't work: spoilers ahead!

So. The rem thing. Ive talked about it vaguely before but never went into detail cause there were people that could be spoiled. The whole point of rems attraction to subaru is not because of harem wish fulfillment. The author clearly stated he hates harems. Subaru does love both rem and emilia, but he has solidly chosen emilia and that's the end of that. It doesn't matter what romantic feelings he could have towards rem because it's already doomed. They both know it. The relationship they form episode 12 and beyond is not meant to be healthy for either of them!! Rem has been saved from her mindset of needing to atone for what she thought of her sister, but her self esteem is still AWFUL which is why she attaches herself to a "hero" instead of learning to recognize her own self worth. Subaru saved her from some things but he's not a hero and he's not exactly the person rem says he is. Partially, but not all of it. It's kind of a mutual decision of theirs to lie to each other and themselves because they need it to cope with themselves. Subaru needs to be a hero for rem or he could never step out of his depressive state. Rem needs a hero in subaru or she cannot feel loved and understood. It's not good for either of them but they don't have an alternative. NOTICE: When subaru rants about how awful he is and rem responds with her famous speech, she doesn't actually contradict much of what he says. They love each other and need each other but it's bad for the both of them. Rem lost her memories because the witches (later correction: it's the bishops) targeted her for her sin, and subaru killing himself over rem is not the action of a person in a healthy mindset. Rem's development was cut short and kind of fridging, its frustrating, but it's not basic waifu stuff and it is meant to be tragic!!!! This is also all a mirror to how subaru and emilia are!

Because while subaru constantly talks about needing to save emilia, he also calls her the main heroine. I used to think about rem as a yesman, but she does many a thing behind subaru's back for his sake the exact way he did to emilia. He learns more about the consequences of his actions that way. oh, it hurts. and oh boy the speech is so misunderstood. That is rem's promise to love him "unconditionally", without acknowledging his flaws, and it helped. It's absolutely what he needed to hear. But it wasn't good. but also, for other reasons, it mirrors another little speech.... subaru's season 2 confession to emilia. Where she can't believe he'd love her, and where he starts to list off things he's done for her and the ways she's made it hard for him. And then tells her, he still loves her, because that's who she is and he wouldn't want it any other way. Which could be taken as another niceguy rant (like a repeat of the season 1 fight) but it's NOT!! Because this is what Emilia needed to hear, because she is not the kind of person who can accept praise without a drawback or asterisk. If she heard all that, all she'd see is another pedestal to fill. this is the healthier version of the rem speech, where she can accept she's flawed and realize she's still loved. Both despite, but also for it. And... it's still not perfect. Because the characters are still growing and learning!!! They are young adults with so many problems and a whole life ahead of them and they still need to learn!!! The upsides and downsides of unconditional love,,,, and is it more unconditional if you love them "despite flaws" or "with flaws" or without seeing any? And is any of that healthy? How can it be good? How can it be bad? Maybe it can be both at once, maybe love isnt perfect!!! a lot of this is hidden in subtext, and the framing of rem's speech may even trick you cause it's triumphant but no there's so much complexity to why they say every single thing they say!!!

Subaru is a character who struggles with love for himself and with love for others, he doesn't know how to make others happy and gets caught in a loop of thinking the only way he can possibly be loved is if he's constantly putting his life on the line for others, without asking anything of them in return. which ends up with him breaking and needing support, and not knowing how to ask, which is why he yells at emilia in season 1 (doesn't help that his deepest trauma is something he is magically obligated not to share for fear of death). His relationship with emilia in season 1 is both very sweet and very unhealthy. he's just a guy with a crush on a girl who's far too good for him and he's trying to work for it but the basis for it is not good- he's attached himself to the first kind person in this new world that he knows and due to "return by death" he's far more invested in her than she is in him- she will never know everything they went through together. and then.... he finds rem. someone who didn't trust him. someone who killed him multiple times throughout the mansion arc, but someone who could understand his loneliness because she was also lonely, and wow- he managed to save her, too! and she doesn't know everything about what he's gone through, but she knows how to read his emotions like no one else can. so they... fall into a codependency. like said before, they can't live without each other, but not everything they do is good for each other. subaru, while gladly taking the role that emilia has in this new relationship, learns more about how she feels. with rem, he learns more about what it means to love, and they both know that it won't last. they didn't expect it to end so soon, though. but oh well, subaru does not have the option to stop. the nature of his powers means dying is pointless, and he has to press on anyways. and he does!!! He meets more people he thinks he can trust. some betray him, but some stick with him. Otto (my sweet boy!!!) is notable!

and now he knows more about love, about trust, about how to treat people, and how he should expect to be treated. so many things. keeping in mind it's been a while since i've watched re zero so i probably don't even have everything there is to say. but like.... then in the end, he can approach emilia with his true emotions. and he can tell her about it in a way she'll understand. and he knows he can do it without being a burden this time. he's become a better person. he's not sure if he'll be rejected, but that's not the point anymore! The point is he loves her and wants the best for her and wants her to know and hopes, no matter the outcome, that she'll be happy to know she's not alone! and the honesty, that's what his speech has over rem's. he's not putting her on a pedestal, he's not using her for the sake of his own self esteem anymore, he just wants to love!

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Extra note on the end (talk about suicidal thinking, be warned!!!)

something I've talked about but don't have saved writing for, a bit more about rem!

I do also think Rem is suicidal. i think she and Subaru recognized each other in that mindset without ever really talking about it. To me, this relationship is two suicidal people trying to prop each other up so the other will keep living, and knowing that if they really give up the other will too. That's why the season 2 development was so punishing for Subaru. I think that Rem's terrible self esteem and feeling of needing to atone for """"ruining her sister's life"""" contributed to it, though i don't know if that's all of it. She also makes multiple comments that are extremely concerning, like how Subaru is her "reason to die", how when she was ready to die fighting the white whale she said she felt like this was the moment she was made for, and biggest of all!! When she was telling her hypothetical story of how she and Subaru would run away together, she planned it all up to the death "I'd like to die first and I'd like my family to be with me", and to me it felt like she was *trying to think of a death that would make her life worth living*. Her motivation to live is following people she can die for, and that's, that's concerning. i hope her character arc properly follows through on what's happening in her head (i don't know how arc 7 goes yet)

...and i also think that Beatrice is the first time Subaru's had to confront his mindset head-on, because Beatrice would refuse to dance around the subject. The lesson he takes from Rem carries over to both Emilia and Beatrice in healthier ways, and I think that's incredibly important!!!!

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thank you for reading!

#re:zero #re zero #natsuki subaru #subaru natsuki #rem rezero #rem #re zero spoilers #re:zero spoilers

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jollyreginaldrancher · 4 months

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Thinking about how Misty keeps unintentionally following through and achieving things Nat tried to do

Nat spent all of season two trying to get Lottie to look around and realise that her actions have consequences. Tried to get her to realise that starting and leading this fiercely devoted cult isn't a good thing. But she just came across as jealous even to her closest compatriots and it didn't work. Though to some degree it was maybe selfless, the majority of her motivation evolved around wanting to control Travis however and karma shot her in the foot.

Meanwhile Misty has one conversation with Lottie in the finale and completely opens her eyes to what she created and gets Lottie to take accountability for her actions without even meaning to. All she wanted to do was keep everyone alive, especially Lottie. And all she was trying to do was prevent Lottie from spiralling and guilting the rest of them for doing what they had to do to stay alive a little longer during the winter. She achieves in one conversation what Nat had been trying to do all season without even meaning to.

Honestly love how much they parallel and juxtapose one another.

Like with coach Ben in season 2. Misty's last conversation with him saving his life while Nat's last conversation with him doomed all of theirs. The way both of these girls ruin everything they touch in one way or another and when their paths cross, even if they don't come in contact with each other their effect is felt in perpetuity.

And god, Natalie putting a gun in her mouth and trying to end herself the way her father died because, after all, she never thought she was any better than her father, and Misty mercifully ending Nat with a syringe instead? Days later and completely by mistake but Misty following through for Nat and achieving what she wanted once again in season two.

If they do continue the Travis murder mystery subplot, I firmly believe it's Misty that will get the truth out in Natalie's place. Heck I wouldn't be surprised if she succeeds her as antler queen, to be honest. Like maybe they all take turns somehow. Heavy is the head that wears the crown though and I wouldn't be surprised if Natalie tried to take on that whole responsibility for them all though, so it's possible Nat stays the queen and Misty her right hand. Either way I'm dying to see their interactions in season 3.

Without adult Nat, I really hope the season focuses more on teen Nat's relationship with Misty, and just generally incorporates her more within the group and focuses far less on Travis and her now that she's done something completely unforgivable. Even if he condones it, I hope his penis has a conscience and we don't have to sit through another fucking sex scene between this asshat and Nat.

#thank you for your time #Misty quigley #nat Scatorccio #natalie Scatorccio #thoughts #mine #yellowjackets #anti travis martinez

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acourtofthought · 8 months

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Can you provide me with the chapter and page number proving Elriel is a canon couple, or an interview? Oh wait, forgot Elriels have a special edition only they have access too and exclusive interviews only they watched.

The amount of comments from them calling them a canon couple is so cringe.

Az and Elain are not together.

Az and Gwyn are not together.

Elain and Lucien are not togeher.

It's really not hard to understand where these character stand in the book. Each one are single. Sure, Elain and Az are physically attracted to one another BUT Az never, not once confirmed he felt anything for Elain besides lust, if someone thinks lust is all it takes to make a relationship work, I highly suggest they seek therapy, and I speak from experience as someone who at a young age struggled to deeply connect with a man beyond sex. It doesn't last. Lust only gets someone so far. I was young, naive, I always was used to men looking at me solely for my looks, I used to think it was enough, it never was. Overtime, I realized how unhealthy it was. That is why I see what Elriel for what is, what SJMs intentions are. What she meant to convey in the bonus, because she's also done it in the past. If two people can't connect emotionally, it's doomed. His interactions with Elain and Gwyn are polar opposite and the one with Gwyn is a foundation to a strong friends to lovers trope.

And I don't care what Elriels say, I've read the books more than once; there is NO dialogue between them that forms a deep emotional connection. Talking about gardens?? . It's SMALL talk. Elain doesn't share her hopes, dreams, pain, anger, or anything about who she is with him and this is a book, if it's not on page it didn't happen. And Azriel confirms per canon she doesn't know him either, so he's never once opened up to her. He avoids her. So there is really nothing they know about one another, it's all surface level.

Sarah is very intentional with her writing, she gave us insight into Az revealing more about himself to Gwyn in one page than Elain in 4 books.

Not to mention, SJM continues to set up Elain and Lucien on a parallel journey. Their plots are intertwined. If they can't see it, they are choosing to be ignorant.

CONTAINS TOG SPOILERS -

Calling E/riel a "canon couple" really comes down to interpretation of what someone's definition of a relationship is.

So maybe they're not wrong based on their own interpretation while someone else who does not feel E/riel meet the criteria would be correct in theirs.

Some might feel canon equals any relationship a character has had with another while others consider canon "endgame" or at least a verbal commitment.

Were Celaena and Dorian a canon couple? They both had a crush on one another and kissed (similar to E/riel) but they never actually had a real relationship so I think if we did a poll there would be a divide.

However, canon couples don't really mean anything in an SJM book.

Feyre and Tamlin were probably a canon couple..... at one point.

Celaena and Chaol were a canon couple..... at one point.

Elain and Graysen were a canon couple...... at one point.

The only thing that matters is endgame couples and if all the above fell apart than canon doesn't mean a pairing is safe until their book is done.

And after the pov bonus chapter, even if E/riel were once a canon couple, I don't think they can be called that any longer considering Az left the manor house regretting nearly kissing Elain, she returned his necklace and they haven't spoken since Solstice.

If a couple has not communicated in months you cannot claim a relationship exists. There is no canon evidence that Elain and Az have spoken since his POV.

As it stands, the only canon thing at the end of SF (in regards to Elain) is that Lucien is still Elain's mate.

#elucien #anti e/riel #pro elucien

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jimintomystery · 1 year

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Makoto headcanons

[Above: Uh, yeah, that's probably fine]

Originally I found Makoto to be an extraordinarily bland protagonist, which made him seem a bit two-dimensional. Eventually, though, I got a handle on the character, and saw at least some potential for depth...

We learn very little about Makoto in Trigger Happy Havoc, other than what he learns about himself from the experience. He thought he was just some guy, y'know, and then he turned out to be some sort of...non-giving-up...school guy. He's a blank slate compared to his classmates, even Kyoko, who is supposed to be the officially designated blank slate. His most distinguishing feature is the ability to chin up amid the horrors he's witnessed. I think that's taking an unseen toll on him.

When the Tragedy happened, Makoto reassured his friends the crisis would be over soon. It wasn't. When the Killing Game began, he promised Sayaka he would get her out of there. He didn't. By the end of the game, a third of his classmates have murdered another third, and the remaining third seriously considered letting him die to save themselves. When he came up with a plan to rehabilitate the Remnants of Despair without killing them, the Future Foundation branded him a traitor. Said plan almost backfired and nearly doomed himself and his closest friends. In the Final Killing Game, the Future Foundation largely went knives-out on him, and then a mind-control program nearly brainwashed him to kill himself. He doesn't process this stuff, he just puts it on his tab. He's running up a big bill.

I'm not saying all this is going to break Makoto, or that he's on the verge of succumbing to despair, or anything like that. The idea that this can't happen is what makes him interesting--the story won't let him falter or fail, so he just has to endure. He can't cope with his problems except in terms of helping others cope with theirs. In that sense he reminds me of Hajime Hinata, but Hajime is a surgically enhanced ubermensch, so for better or worse he's built to handle such weighty problems. Makoto is just an ordinary man, so it's kind of scary to realize he carries such an epic burden.

If I'm making Makoto sound like Jesus sweating drops of blood over his duty to the world...well, yeah. Personally, I am extremely tired of writers cramming Christ tropes into American superhero stories, so I'm loathe to look for one in Danganronpa, but it's hard for me to avoid it this time. Not that I want Makoto to be crucified and resurrected (any more than he already has been). But I'm intrigued by the idea of a Christ/martyr figure who can't get off the hook by peacing out to heaven.

Anyway, the point is that Makoto avoids his trauma by helping his friends with their problems. Which is ironic considering he spends a lot of time getting Kyoko comfortable with facing her trauma. Kyoko benefits greatly from having someone she can trust and finally open up to, so it doesn't occur to her that Makoto might need the same sort of help, or that he would hide it as well as she does. Overcoming that takes a lot of work, for both of them.

I haven't decided what sort of relationship Makoto and Kyoko had before their memories were wiped, but I tend to think it wasn't romantic. At most they might have had some basic attraction, but neither of them expected anything to come of it, so they paid it no mind. Even during the Killing Game, I don't think Makoto realizes what he's starting to feel. He's just curious about her because she's mysterious, or worried about her because she's missing, that's all. She's cute, but he'd never have a shot with her, so there's no point going there. Meanwhile Kyoko is gradually facing her feelings about him, and getting a little frustrated that he's not making a move. It's not until after they escape that everything hits Makoto all at once.

As Makoto learns more about Kyoko's family, he isn't afraid to call out the bullshit they've put her through. He's willing to believe her father might have had a reason for walking out on her, but that doesn't excuse the harm he caused. He's also not wild about her grandfather pushing her through the family traditions, and (from what I've gathered) exploiting her abandonment issues to hone her emotional discipline. If Fuhito Kirigiri ever meets Makoto, I think there will be a lot of friction there.

#danganronpa #danganronpa thh #danganronpa 1 #makoto naegi #dork squad headcanons

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wandaluvstacos · 3 months

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Chapter 40 of Good Investment is now up on my Patreon!

Good Investment is available at the $5/month tier. People who pledge $5 a month have access to not only Good Investment but The Sponsors series (ongoing), Pretty Things (complete), May the Blood Run Pure (complete), and Kept Man (complete), along with the $1/month tier books, the Reflections trilogy (ongoing) and The Halfwife (ongoing).

Adri Schvaneveldt has always felt split between two worlds. In one world, they are the adopted child of a large and conservative Mormon family. In another, she is the CEO of a burgeoning fashion empire that pushes boundaries. But in order to be the latter, Adri first has to find the funding. After gaining a hefty following as a social media influencer/model, Adri has the potential customers– if they can get a reliable production model pounded out. And that means a bit of groveling at the feet of investors, most of who have never even heard the term “non-binary”.

But Adri lucks out with Gideon Snow, whose youth and open mind bring much needed funds to make Adri’s dream of diverse, accessible fashion a reality. Of course, lifting a newborn company to its feet is no small task, and late nights drive Adri to occasional stays at Gideon’s nearby house, where their relationship begins stretching beyond business. Adri knows they can’t put an entire business venture at risk for the turbulent whims of their heart. But reason doesn’t always win out.

Excerpt:

“Someone is stalking us!”

“Yeah, it’s Sofia. It’s always fucking Sofia. I just—I can’t—” Adri’s throat closed up, and it suddenly felt like they were breathing through a straw. They started sinking to the floor, and it was only Gideon’s arms keeping them from collapsing entirely. “I can’t breathe,” they gasped through tears.

“Where’s your inhaler?” Gideon asked, then left without Adri answering him, because they really couldn’t right now. They weren’t sure if this was the asthma or a panic attack—it felt like a bit of both. Gideon went digging through Adri’s purse across the room as Adri felt an acute sense of impending doom so chilling and oppressive that they weren’t sure if they’d live or suffocate. The world felt like the constricting walls of a cave inside of which Adri was stuck, like thousands of tons of rock pressing down on their shoulders, keeping them pinned and helpless. For a moment Adri thought they were going to die, which wasn’t helped by the fact that tears were rolling down their face.

Their inhaler was thrust into their hand, but Adri didn’t think it would help. They tried it anyway. Adri also felt Gideon’s hand stroking their back and his brittle but soft voice washing over them from above. Adri set their focus on the weight of Gideon’s hand, closing their eyes to block out everything else. In doing so, more air was able to slip into their lungs. They sucked in deep gulps, desperate to climb out of the cave.

“It’s going to be okay,” Gideon was saying over and over, which Adri only now realized. They reached a trembling hand out to rest on his thigh, trying to find something to grab onto. Gideon’s free hand slid over theirs and squeezed.

The panic attack faded, but the dread did not. Only once Adri had full control of their lungs did they turn to Gideon with a puffy, tear-streaked face and say, “I don’t think it’s going to be okay.”

#my writing #update #excerpt #patreon #original fiction #Good Investment

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tojikai · 2 years

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I have never felt such negative emotions towards Satoru nor have I ever felt such affection for Geto. How did you do this to me? 🥹

I can't help but laugh at Gojo's relationship with Rie. Every touch, every intimate moment that they have together and yet his mind is always thinking back to y/n. It's absolutely hilarious. You got what you wanted but you'll never be truly happy. And honestly the only person he can blame is himself. I genuinely cannot express how happy I am with his suffering. He's lamenting about what he did and I'm just sitting here like that's rough buddy cry about it.

After this chapter I no longer think Rie is naive or dense. At this point this is manipulative behavior. She saw that Gojo wasn't in a good emotional state and used it to push him over the edge and straight into a depersonalization episode. She also definitely does not care about what she did and how it affected y/n. She really just wants to get y/n's forgiveness so that she can further her relationship with Gojo. And later on when it shows how she ever so conveniently works with your mother at the newest branch of their company just doesn't sit right with me.

I'm usually a huge sucker for redemption arcs. Seeing someone make changes in their life to atone for whatever they've done really pulls at my heart. But Gojo is just so selfish. (He also cheated and I just can't forgive a cheater. You're a grown man, have some self control.) Sure he feels bad for what he's done to y/n but he's not really showing it by his actions. He only wants forgiveness from y/n so that he can feel better and continue with his new relationship with Rie. Not only did he dump y/n out of nowhere but he flaunts his new girlfriend in front of her, and pretend like they're on good terms, and not tell her about how he was unfaithful in. Like not even some basic human decency? You really had to go to that party and your girlfriend just had to come with you 🙄. You still could've said no and you chose not to go.

You both can feel sorry all you want. Cry me a river and go drown in it. I'm done with both of them. They are still trying to live out their highschool melodrama while everyone else has to suffer the consequences of their actions and now that they've finally awoken from their pipe dream the only thing that they have left is one another and the rubble from all of the destruction that they caused.

"Whatever happened…is just a challenge, an obstacle for our relationship." You mean like how you were an obstacle for Gojo's previous relationship? I mean we all saw what happened with that. But you do you I guess.

We were so close 😭. Y/n honey you should've let Geto get at least one a couple of punches in before stopping him. All I ask for is a fight. I want violence for all of the pain I've had to go through.

"You looked at them as you thought of how Rie could so effortlessly give him what he wanted, yet here you had to spend years smoothing and furbishing all your sharp and rough edges for him. You looked at them as you realized that she was the one for him, and you were just another stepping stone along their way to each other." This entire paragraph was just painful. She made so many positive changes in her life for the man that she loved and yet it just wasn't enough for him. I don't care what happens to those two hoes any longer I just hope that y/n is happy.

I have no words for that ending. Idk if I should feel more scared or disgusted for everything that just happened.

Mine is a really fitting title for this chapter. Rie is definitely grasping at straws to save her relationship that was doomed from the start. Gojo has finally realized that he lost the best thing that happened to him and has resorted to harassing y/n and continuing to pursue her because he feels like he has the right to now after everything that he's done. They both are losing something important to them but it's no longer theirs to have.

I remember you said that the story was going to have 7-8 chapters in a previous ask which means that we're so close to the end. I'm so excited to see how this all ends.

I wish you well and I hope that you're staying safe wherever you are 😊.

oooh wow i love how you pointed out rie's words during that car ride. satoru was literally in shambles at that time and she's the only one that he has. her words easily impacted his thoughts and his subsequent actions :(( your interpretation of the title was amazing, both of them can't have what they truly want: rie can't have satoru's whole heart no matter how hard she tries and satoru not being able to bring back what he and yn used to have :(( he's gonna have a hard time earning her again. oh and i changed pm to 9 chaps in total, with the epilogue included !! anywaysss thank u so so much for this, i love reading your analyses, they're always on point !! please take care of yourself as well and i hope that you're having a good day~ <33

#🍭—kaitalks #f: permanent mark

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heavenssexiestangel · 8 months

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Arthur Ketch/Dean Winchester Masterlist

Banner made by @envydean

MAIN SPN MASTERLIST

These are all my Supernatural fics that contain Arthur Ketch/Dean Winchester as a main or important romantic/sexual relationship (thus it may not be endgame).

The fics are divided by type (Drabbles, One-Shots, Multichapters...). The characters/other kinds of relationships explored will be in brackets. If "NSFW" (Meaning: it contains ANYTHING that is not suitable to view for minors or in work spaces, thus not only sexual stuff but also violence), it'll be put next to the ships.

DRABBLES

A Home full of Life [Arthur/Dean]

While Arthur finishes a portrait of his husband, he finds things have changed in his family house.

Baking with Dad [Arthur/Dean]

There is never a boring day in their small family

It's Three in the Morning [Arthur/Dean]

Arthur comes back to Dean

ONE-SHOTS

Tell Me What's Wrong [Arthur/Dean, Mature]

Dean is nervous about mating with Ketch, and they talk it out

MULTICHAPTERS

In Darkness, Light [Arthur/Dean, Explicit]

Dean Winchester lives in Lawrence, Kansas, with his Nest. It’s both a peaceful and harsh life, but he is not sure he’d want to change it. One day, his father tells him they must go to Lebanon, Kansas, to meet another vampire Nest - a famous and strangely big one. John tells him he’s been talking with their Alpha for months, because it’s the Nest his father came from, and he wants to be part of it even though Henry Winchester left him when he was still young. The agreement is for Dean, John’s oldest son, to marry the other Alpha’s son, Arthur Ketch. Vampires mate for life, and there would be no way for Dean to get out of it - not without jeopardizing the relationship between the two Nests and dooming theirs. Despite Dean and Arthur disliking each other since the very first time they meet, they must learn to trust and be loyal to each other, no matter how rocky their path is.

COMING SOON

Unnamed Omegaverse Assassins Ketch/Dean [Ketch/Dean, Explicit, NSFW] - Prequel to Tell Me What's Wrong

If you liked my stories and would like to support me, consider leaving a Ko-Fi (it will help me with uni stuff and other things I need) <3 Thank you

#my fanfics #arthur ketch/dean winchester #arthur ketch #dean winchester #ketch/dean #spn fanfic #supernatural fanfiction #arthursknight writes

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volot · 2 years

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in a more thorough regards to siblings: while volo’s circumstances as an only child did serve to contribute to his loneliness throughout life, i don’t think volo could really... handle having a sibling, if that’s how fate had dealt him his cards.

on one hand, yes, he would have someone familial to latch onto; there would be a certain kind of love there that he’s never experienced before. a care that is wholly unique to itself, a belonging, of sorts. perhaps some sort of tether to an otherwise wretched world he’s checked out of. and while i think it could have made a difference, although perhaps not enough to drastically change him in any real way... it would have only lasted for so long before souring and shriveling it. because then comes in the entirety of volo’s problem.

i’ve said this many times before, but volo is a terribly envious person. if he were to have a sibling who was in some way favored over him, or lorded more attention from their caretaker, or in some way or another was viewed as “better” than him in any way, more worthy in some way than he was, even if it was primely through his own lens of the situation... he wouldn’t of been able to handle it, in the same way he cannot handle the protagonist being chosen by arceus. the thought of being lesser, of the lack of importance, of being denied in that way sets his stomach into knots -- he’d stew in his jealousy, he’d be bitter, he would wonder why not him. why isn’t he good enough. why is nothing he does enough. what makes them so special? he’d grow resentful and hateful, taking the hurt in his heart and instead of wallowing in his own self-pity, directing his anger towards them. it wouldn’t be fair.

now, if the relationship was more balanced and amiable... it still wouldn’t be enough. because if he’s not jealous, then he’s selfish, and has had a staggering, concerning view of himself since he was very young. his inflated ego, self-importance, and grand delusions as to who he is were already rooting then; he’d viewed himself as someone special -- and it is terrible and disgusting irony that he can’t handle someone else being viewed as such, while thinking of himself this way -- so the thought of sharing that would perturb him, too. he couldn’t handle not having his own individuality, of sharing this with someone else -- he is chosen, not them. he will do these things, not them. sibling or not, it is his path to walk; not theirs. they cannot walk alongside him, because they wouldn’t understand.

and let’s not bring into question the idea of him being stopped by them in some way or another; the fallout would be nothing pretty, if that were the case. of course he doesn’t expect them to understand -- no one but him truly does. and yet it still stings and betrays him in a way, while he scoffs it off even further, deeming them blind to the truth of the world, rejecting what is necessary and must be done. ( you can imagine how his paranoia might infest at the thought of them attempting anything... or, perhaps, them trying to steal / interfere what is rightfully “his” later in life, as arceus’s chosen, no matter how futile his delusions deem the effort... yeah, it would be disastrous, to say the least. )

i don’t think it would be without some form of care or love; but it would be doomed to turn out tumultuous no matter how it was handled or approached, because volo is doomed in of himself. so between the two... it’s best he didn’t have any siblings at all. it’s not anything he actively thinks on or longs for, when he sees pairs of them together; maybe in the past he’d wondered, and maybe when he was very young he’d envied it, but not for very long at all. and that’s likely because he knew how it would end up if it had happened, too, and considered himself blessed that he was born as the sole inheritor arceus’s divine blessing.

lonely as he may be, in situations like these, it is preferable to be alone.

#this could be worded better but it's 3 am and im getting sleepy... perhaps i will come back to it when im awake Later and gie it some #tweaking #need to write more sometime on his loneliness vs the feeling of being alone and how theyre so different #hc.#study.#take this for now but Bleck im not happy with it #long post

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pcrfectstorms · 2 years

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binghvm asked: “please don’t leave.” @ steve :)

meme: STRAINED RELATIONSHIP || from: @binghvm || accepting: yes!

eighteen months. it had been eighteen months since the earth split, since the upside down bled into hawkins, the town had been in darkness for months after that, the army keeping the monsters that slipped out from the cracks confined within town limits as much as they could, it was another 8 months before vecna showed up again, before they defeated him for good, sealed up the gate and eleven swears its for real this time. no more monsters.

steve hasn’t spoken to her since her father dragged her back to salt lake city, a teary goodbye when the world almost ended, when she’d been hurt and scared, when he’d almost lost her, then he did. he asks dustin how she is, tries to find her phone number in the telephone book, but who knew bingham was such a popular name. maybe it didn’t mean the same to her, maybe he was a fool for thinking she meant it when she said she loved him, the threat of impending doom can make people say stupid things. so, he just tried to get over her, to forget about her, about what they had, tries to forget that the first and only time he told her he loves her was when she’d almost bleed out in his arms. he still has nightmares about that.

she’s here, in hawkins, that’s slowly healing from the end of the world that never came, stood there with a baby on her hip with big brown eyes, and a mass of light brown curls, theirs no denying the resemblance, and it knocks him for six. mind swimming, he feels like he’s going throw up.

he had a baby. they had a baby.

and she tells him she wrote him every day for a year, but her father wouldn’t let her post a single letter, and steve shakes his head, he wants to believe her but this feels like a soccer punch to the gut.

“please don’t leave.” she says quietly.

he can’t breathe, chest heavy and tight, feels like the world is closing in on him, this is too much. “ I can’t -- I can’t do this -- I need a minute.” he feels like he’s going to pass out, bent over with hands pressed into his thighs, trying to fucking breathe, panic attacks nothing new, but they always hit at the most inconvenient times, like now, when his ex-almost-girlfriend shows up after eighteen months of radio silence with a baby who looks just like him.

#❛ eden bingham ❜ [ opposite; binghvm ]#binghvm #that conversation about the au...yeah you're welcome LMAO

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cathygeha · 4 months

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REVIEW

Their Bride by Jess Michaels

Theirs #4

Jilted at the altar, again! Miss Vanessa Gardner feels as if her future is doomed until two handsome men step in to rescue her reputation, provide her options, and in doing so provide a happy ending for all three and not just her. This is a quick steamy lovely story about three people that are better when together than apart. I loved that they communicated openly, were willing to take chances, and showed so much trust in one another. Their union of three is unconventional by society’s standards but perfect for them. I am curious about how their future will play out in the future and would have loved an epilogue. I loved meeting them and reading their lovely story.

Thank you to NetGalley for the ARC – This is my honest review.

5 Stars

BLURB

The fourth book in the Theirs series by 10-Time USA Today Bestselling Author Jess Michaels.

Old friends and sometimes secret lovers, Benedict Norfolk and Darrius Warwick have a fraught relationship. Benedict wants more, Darrius always resists. But they are thrown together when Darrius's brother, the Viscount Warwick, abandons his intended bride, Vanessa Gardner, not an hour before their wedding. They both know a marriage to one of them will be the only answer to save her from the consequences of the viscount's bitter actions.

Vanessa was rejected before and she knows that this abandonment means utter ruination, and yet she cannot be sad. She never felt desire for the viscount...only unexpected and forbidden attraction to Darrius and Benedict. So when the men offer her a chance to choose between them, and to indulge herself in every pleasure before she does so...she cannot refuse.

Tangled desires, long-repressed passion and the knowledge that they must soon decide the future collide between these three. But when the unthinkable happens, they will have to determine whether three hearts can make one lifetime, or if one of them will be shut out forever.

#Jess Michaels #Theirs #NetGalley #Historical Romance #Steamy Romance #MMF-MFM romance #Romance #Fiction #Jilted at the altar

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daevilhorns-1 · 1 year

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⁽ ✟ ⁾ @faedrake . . . . lets him tattoo his name on her for his birthday.

it'd been something they'd talked about [ . . . ] though never enough for it to come to proper fruition. an idea that had been dangled in the air between the pair ⅋ waited patiently for either to reach up to snatch it when he'd had a little too much to drink , or when he'd suggested it in an especially playful manner. BUT HE NEVER ACTUALLY THOUGHT IT WOULD HAPPEN. the permanent branding of another person on your skin [ . . . ] the affectionate act of possession. some would say it's bad luck ; a relationship doomed to end as soon as the first drop of ink embeds itself into flesh. though he believed some risks are worth taking —— HE'D GREEDILY TAKE AND TAKE AND TAKE IN THE NAME OF LOVE. so rarely was he an entirely selfish man however , as fair was only fair , ⅋ the agreement from the start had been for mal to return the favor on his own body.

but it was his day after all ; imagine his surprise to be gifted with a tattoo gun [ . . . ] no words nor instructions necessary to explain what it was for. AND HIS TURN WAS FIRST WITH NO TIME WASTED. violet locks had been pushed back behind shoulders to expose the vulnerable skin of her chest , where gloved hands carefully applied the stencil over a beating heart.

this spot only made the most sense —— as it was not only easily visible to their eyes ⅋ the general public , but where he crawled in from starting at the bottom of her ribcage to make his home. NOW IT WOULD BECOME HIS NAME'S AS WELL. every part of him theirs. he examined the placement for a long moment as fingers itched to begin before blues fluttered upwards to find them with a certain twinkle , a smile threatening corners of lips. ❛❛ does that look straight to you ? ❜❜

#faedrake #⁽ 𝖎. ⁾ ✟ . . . 𝚆𝙴'𝚁𝙴 𝙰𝙻𝙻 𝙳𝚈𝙸𝙽𝙶 𝚃𝙾 𝙼𝙴𝙴𝚃 𝙾𝚄𝚁 𝙼𝙰𝙺𝙴𝚁. :͓̽ ic.#⁽ 𝖛𝖊𝖗𝖘𝖊. ⁾ ✟ . . . 𝙼𝙰𝙸𝙽. :͓̽ 002.#. we are IGNORING how late this is shhhh.#. anyways. them. <3

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borntobecheap · 2 years

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"The words induced me to turn towards myself. I learned that the possessions most esteemed by your fellow creatures were high and unsullied descent united with riches. A man might be respected with only one of these advantages, but without either he was considered, except in very rare instances, as a vagabond and a slave, doomed to waste his powers for the profits of the chosen few! And what was I? Of my creation and creator who absolutely ignorant but I knew that I possessed no money, no friends, no kind of property. I was, besides, endued with a figure hideously deformed and loathsome; I was not even of the same nature as man. I was more agile than they and could subsist upon coarser diet, I bore the extremes of heat and cold with less injury to my frame; my stature far exceeded theirs. When I looked around I saw and heard of none like me. Was I, then, a monster, a blot upon the earth, from which all men fed and whom all men disowned?”

"I cannot describe to you the agony that these reflections inflicted upon me; I tried to dispell them, but sorrow only increased with knowledge. Oh, that I had forever remained in my native wood, nor known nor felt beyond the sensations of hunger, thirst, and heat!”

"Of what a strange nature is knowledge! It clings to the mind when it has once seized on it like a lichen on the rock. I wished sometimes to shake off all thought and feeling, but I learned that there was but one means to overcome the sensation of pain, and that was death a state which I feared yet did not understand. I admired virtue and good feelings and loved the gentle manners and amiable qualities of my cottagers, but I was shut out from intercourse with them, except through means which I obtained by stealth, when I was unseen and unknown, and which rather increased than satisfied the desire I had of becoming one among my fellows. The gentle words of Agatha and the animated smiles of the charming Arabian were not for me. The mild exhortations of the old man and the lively conversation of the loved Felix were not for me. Miserable, unhappy wretch!”

“Other lessons were impressed upon me even more deeply. I heard of the difference of sexes, and the birth and growth of children, how the father doted on the smiles of the infant, and the lively sallies of the older sallies of the older child, how all the life and cares of the mother were wrapped up in the precious charge, how the mind of youth expanded and gained knowledge, of brother, sister, and all the various relationships which bind one human being to another in mutual bonds, “But where were my friends and relations? No father had watched my infant days, no mother had blessed me with smiles and caresses; or if they had, all my past life was now a blot, a blind vacancy in which I distinguished nothing. From my earliest remembrance I had been as nothing. I then was in height and proportion. I had never yet seen a being resembling me or who claimed any intercourse with me. What was I? The question again recurred, to be answered only with groans. "I will soon explain to what these feelings tended, but allow me now to return to the cottagers, whose story excited in me such various feelings of indignation, delight, and wonder, but which all terminated in additional love and reverence for my protectors (for so I loved, in an innocent, half-painful self-deceit, to call them).”

“Hatetul day when I received life!' I exclaimed in agony. 'Accursed creator! Why did you form a monster so hideous that even you turned from me in disgust? God, in pity, made man beautiful and alluring, after his own image; but my form is a filthy type of yours, more horrid even from the very resemblance. Satan had his companions, fellow devils, admire and encourage him, but I am solitary and abhorred.”

"These were the reflections of my hours of despondency and solitude; but when I contemplated the virtues of the cottagers, their amiable and benevolent dispositions, I persuaded myself that when they should become aquatinted with my admiration of their virtues they would compassionate me and overlook my personal deformity. Could they turn from their door one however monstrous who solicited their companion and friendship?”

“Increase of knowledge only discovered to me more clearly what a wretched outcast I was. I cherished hope, it is true, but it vanished when I beheld my person reflected in water or my shadow in the moonshine, even as that frail image and that in constant shade.”

“How mutable are our feelings, and how strange is that clinging love we have of life even in the excess of misery!”

Ever since my recovery from the fever I had been in the custom of taking every night a small quantity of laudanum, for it was by means of this drug only that I was enabled to gain the rest necessary for the preservation of life. Oppressed by the recollection of my various misfortunes, I now swallowed double my usual quantity and soon slept profoundly. But sleep did not afford me respite from thought and misery; my dreams presented a thousand objects that scared me. Towards morning I was possessed by a kind of nightmare; I felt the fiend's grasp in my neck and could not free myself from it; groans and cries rang in my ears. My father, who was watching over me, perceiving my restlessness, awoke me; the dashing waves were around, the cloudy sky above, the fiend was not here: a sense of security, a feeling that a truce was established between the present hour and the irresistible, disastrous future imparted to me a kind of calm forgetfulness, of which the human mind is by its structure peculiarly susceptible.

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imagine-a-life-like-this · 3 years

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Love Tap (B.C)

Warnings : swearing, mention of cheating, arguing

Word Count : 1266

Synopsis : broken up for 6 months, it’s their four year anniversary, and though they say they don’t miss them, they lied. so they tearfully whisper love confessions over the phone.

If anyone were to ask her how she was doing, she would tell them she was perfectly fine. The relationship was doomed from the start, they both knew that, and still it lasted three years. She would tell you that she’s happier now, moving forward in her life in ways she couldn’t when she was with Chan. She would have you convinced that she truly is okay with how things ended; you wouldn’t even question her. But she lied.

If anyone were to ask Chan how he was doing, he would say he’s doing okay. He no longer has to worry that he’s neglecting someone and can instead focus on his music, the way things should be. Sure, some days he misses the way she would barge in with her beautiful smile and some food for him so she knew he at least ate. But he truly was okay with how things ended, or at least that’s what he would convince everyone of. But he lied.

It would have been their fourth anniversary when she realizes just how much she misses him, regardless of their tumultuous relationship. The arguments were frequent, but they always found a way to work out their differences. Up until the very last one, an argument that couldn’t be solved with sweet words whispered in listening ears.

“I can understand the staying late in the studio, the tours, the early morning practices. I understood it all for the past three fucking years, Chan, but this?” She shoves her phone into his face, showing him the article she was scrolling through before he returned home. “She’s close to all of you, I get that, but you seem to be spending more time with her than me! You always tell me you’re too busy for date night, but you’re never too busy for her! Please just tell me if there’s something going on between you two.”

“And what if there is?” Chan asked, anger coursing through his veins at the insinuation that he would cheat. His anger took over all his emotions. The need to reassure her, hold her, and wipe away her tears faded as each second passed. There was nothing going on, he was too in love with his girlfriend to even think about another woman, but he wanted her to hurt the way he’s hurting.

“Then I’ll leave so you can be happy.” She didn’t raise her voice. She didn’t scream or yell or fight for him. Instead she turned away from him, walking into their shared bedroom and packing her things into a suitcase. He didn’t try to stop her, instead leaving their shared apartment and returning to the studio, thinking she’d be there when he returned. They would both cool off and talk it through like they always do. Except this time, she was nowhere to be found when he returned.

She sat on the edge of her bed, staring at the lamp Chan bought for her, for both of them, on their first anniversary. It was one of those long-distance love touch lamps, the ones that when someone taps it, the colour changes on both of the lamps, showing the other person that their someone is thinking of them.

It was helpful during the lonely nights when he was on tour. He would tap it in the morning and at night. If he had a free day, he would tap it throughout the day so she knew he was thinking of her. She would tap it when she woke up and before she went to sleep. She would tap it after coming home from work, so he knew she was safe. It made her feel less lonely when he was gone. And it made him feel loved when she couldn’t be there to say the words.

It’s been collecting dust on her bedside table for the last six months, neither one of them tapping their lamps. She wondered if he even kept his. Is he dating that girl now? Does she ever cross his mind the way he crosses hers? So many questions floated around in her mind, and she knew she wasn’t getting any sleep. Instead she stayed up, staring at the lamp on her bedside table, wondering what they would have done for their fourth anniversary.

He collapsed on his bed, exhausted after a long day of practice. It was just the distraction he needed on this day, and the others knew that. He missed her more than he’d like to admit, if you could even get him to admit he missed her in the first place. But now he was alone with his thoughts, and as they do every night, his thoughts drifted to her. How was she doing? Has she moved on?

He relives their last argument every single day, kicking himself for ever insinuating that he could love someone that wasn’t her. He sits up on his bed, staring at the lamp he tapped many times throughout the 2 years of their relationship they had them. It’s been six months since he’s seen her, talked to her. Regardless, he still loves her.

He opens the drawer of his bedside table and pulled out a small, velvet box. He just stares at the box for a while before opening it and staring at the ring he bought so many months ago. It was always his plan to propose, but he kept chickening out. Their fourth anniversary was his deadline. If he didn’t propose before then, he would propose at dinner on their anniversary. Instead, he sits in his bed, staring at the diamond ring bought specifically for her, and wonders if she would have said yes.

As the tears prick his eyes, he closes the box and places it back in the drawer, his eyes drifting towards the lamp. He has no idea if she still has hers, but something in his heart is telling him to tap it, just once. He’s hesitated doing so all these months, but there’s something about today that makes him reach forward and tap it, a vibrant pink meeting his stare.

Her heart picks up pace as she stares at the lamp that’s now lit up in a beautiful pink, and she wonders if it’s just a glitch. A part of her wonders if she’s hallucinating due to the lack of sleep, but the other part knows this is real. And she reaches forward to tap it, the colour changing to a pretty purple.

The tears finally fall as Chan watches it change from pink to purple, knowing that he’s not the only one heartbroken. Immediately, he picks up his phone and calls her, desperate to hear her voice, hear her say she still loves him.

But he’s the first one to speak when she picks up. “I still love you.” He whispers knowing his voice would crack if he spoke any louder.

“I still love you, too.” She whispered back, holding back her own sobs.

Their relationship was anything but perfect, it was rocky at best. But it was theirs. It was them. No one would be a better match for them but the other, and they knew that.

They both would take the frequent arguments that would fade into whispered love confessions over someone new any day. She would rather face the frequent long-distance with Chan than feel distant with someone who was right in front of her. He would choose her over anyone else over and over again. Because they both knew, though there were a lot of ups and downs, this love was real.

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3desiderium3 · 3 years

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For your love

chapter two - Venus Doom

[ series masterlist ]

previous chapter | next chapter

pairings : reader x damiano david

story summary : damiano and reader are in very loving relationship that sometimes almost too quickly becomes too toxic for anyone likings

chapter warning (s) : basically I want to describe you how I imagine Y/Ns and Damianos relationship in the best way possible.

THIS IS NOT SOMETHING YOU SHOULD LOOK UP TO OR IDOLZE OR ROMANTICIZE!!!

slight angst , mentions of corruption , mentions of sex , mentions of abuse and some mental illnesses , god complex , mentions of various kinks ,

song recommendation - venus doom

Damiano David was a very complex person. He was a very hard to define persona. Adored and respected by many who knew him or not , never feared but was certainly often a main topic of various gossips.

He was very energetic and optimistic person , he loved to provide good time for the people around him but he also expected to be entertained. He was so artistic and charismatic, he had this cloudy velvety aura that could describe him as royalty.

He wanted everything or nothing .

He wanted to be dominant in every field he could reach. He was hardworking and stubborn.

He had a vision he didn't hesitate to fulfil.

His looks and his self presentation was mainly an act put up as guarding system and some sort of mechanism to prevent himself from bad outcomes.

Only his closest family , his bandmates ( whomst are also practically a family to him ) and his beloved dearest lover knew him truly.

Y/N however , knew him better than he did himself .

She was the first girl he let under his skin and under his layers of colours , luxurious presentations and egoistic posture.

He was bewitched by her. He opened himself up in all sort of ways he could to her.

She was the first girl he was making love to , not simply just fucking , but making love to, the first girl he ever cried in front of , the first one he introduced his ENTIRE family to , the first one he considered having their own family with etc .. etc ..

She was simply love of his life.

There was nothing much more to say about him than either to praise him or despite him.

Depending on if you wanted to be him / with him or if he stole your girl.

He was a sweet manipulative heartbreaker who was just simply along his fame and talent bored to death.

He cared about his physical appearance a lot , he took extra care when it came to facial and body hygiene and he loved to look good and markable.

He loved to dress fancy and he loved to wear accessories , he loved being in some dim spotlight.

He meet Y/N through his band mate Thomas , almost 3 years ago , and now they are dating 2 years in a row. Never breaking up but constantly fighting.

Her family loved him , I mean , everybody in her surrounding did. But their not so hidden aggressive and toxic relationship was not something they tried hiding.

He never laid a hand on her , only when fucking , he never cheated on her , only flirted to make her pissed , he maybe once beaten up a guy for talking to her , he never controlled her movements or tried changing her habits but he did liked to make bitchy comments trying to hide his jealousy and concern.

He had a huge pride along his ego that he was so damn skilled at hiding , but Y/N saw it instantly.

He was in fact often insecure when it came to dating , especially if it was a relationship he cared about.

He was not insecure about his looks , his habits , his actions , way of making love to a girl or if someone liked him or not. He was insecure if he is good enough at pleasing his partner in a spiritual and sensual way.

I repeat what I said . He always must be dominant.

So , in a situation like this , where you have a person whomst is consisted of su much pride and ego and insecurities , what are you going to do?

Y/N questioned her sanity and her mental health so many god damn times.

She was thinking for herself almost every second or third day if this is really what she wants for herself ? Is this the person she swears her life upon?

Yes.

And million yes in a row.

Damiano was a complex person with some certain needs that was just simply afraid of losing the most valuable person in his life.

His pride was not allowing him to admit that to her verbally , but his actions ( which Y/N knew like they where hers) gave him away.

So instead of reassuring himself somehow that their relationship is not in danger when it came to those simply and silly small things they fight over each day , he became violent and possessive.

His toxic and deadly behaviour and perfect skill of manipulation was the any way he thought was possibly good enough to keep her beside him.

She got hooked onto him.

She couldn't live a day without him. She would rather fight and yell at him than to leave him. He was her everything and so was she to him.

They where not so different. Y/N was also very capable of getting her way through manipulations and coping his actions.

But believe me... They where the sweetest and most dear people you could stumble upon.

They where both very supportive of each others carriers , they always had cute dates planned ahead and they had surprisingly the same hobbies.

They simply adored each other.

They where madly in love and it was taking over their racional reactions.

When a huge dramatic beyond the borders fight happens between them Y/N either gets kicked out of their apartment for the night or she simply leaves by herself.

In those times the only safe place is her parents house and she often heard her mother repeat the same damn words.

" Y/N I love that boy so much and he is very dear to me and your father as well , but he crossed the line again, you should start to consider if he is the healthiest option for you. "

Y/N hated her mother for being so right in such times.

Their mutual mental health was not a thing to brag about. They never mentioned paying visits to some kind of relationship adviser. They thought it was not needed , that they can handle themselves the best.

But Y/N did seek for some professional help and Damiano did not hold her back. He was happy even to hear about it. He never considered going for himself but he was happy and somehow sad that his lover could open to someone professional who could help her out with coping around stressful situations.

He was more than aware that he was causing her the most damage.

Their apartment was cozy , creamy coloured and modern. Their fashion taste was opposite yet similar.

They had a small dog and 2 gold fishes. They also planned to move into a bigger house with bigger yard once they decide on having family.

Damiano was convinced him and Y/N would be the most amazing parents a child could wish for , both of them spoiling their children with love and switching between good and bad cop role. He wanted a girl and a boy , in that order.

But he also wanted to focus on his career , Y/N as well.

Maybe those children will bring them closer to that inner peace they are eagerly searching for.

When it came to appearing together in public places they had one simple rule.

If I am not coming neither are you. They all shared mutual friends and they where always invited together on events and such things.

There was a difference actually.

When the band Måneskin, in which Damiano was lead singer , was invited somewhere Y/N always came , often mistaken for the 5th member or their menager. But in fact she way jealous of everyone landing an eye on her glorious boyfriend.

Those nights went peacefully some might say. But they didn't see the hand or thigh gripping under the table , the oral sex in public restrooms and silent eye language of hate and despite in their eyes . The kind of language only Y/N and Damiano knew for.

Y/N had a lot of friends. She was never forbidden to see them and she could go whenever as long as she was telling him where and with who she was , never turning her location off and always answering his calls and messages.

He had no problem with it , after all he followed her around secretly. She found out maybe 2 times out of 102.

Damiano is a type of ' a small circle of close friends and wide circle of acquaintances ' person. Victoria , Thomas and Ethan witnessed many fights of theirs.

Y/Ns best friend Y/Bsf/N as well.

The 4 of them would often exchange worried looks on their faces as Y/N would throw things at Damiano and he would shout such filthy and problematic stuff at her.

Ethan and Victoria had an intern joke that soon became something they rarely mention cause in each da they became more and more concerned for their friends.

" I don't need to watch porn , all I need to do is imagine Y/N and Damiano fucking after fight. "

Everyone thought that it was a phase these two lost themselves in. But it was not.

And it never got worse , it was always the same old tiring stuff between them.

Both of them where hard smokers , never considering doing drugs or overdosing with alcohol. Tho Damiano knew to drink beyond his abilities.

" If both of them would stop smoking , they could build two skyscrapers on the spot in one day. " Thomas and Y/Ns dad joked oftenly.

Thomas was the closest to Y/N out of the other band members. Damiano was never jealous of him neither did he felt like he could ruin their relationship.

First reason was that Thomas was the one who met them and thanks to who Damiano found the love of his life.

Second reason was that Thomas was beyond scared to even try thinking of doing something more than friendly to Y/N.

Victoria and Y/N had such a great friendship indeed. Having rare but meaningful girls night and sleepovers and rants about everything.

They cooked , went in shopping and shared topics about everything together.

Victoria was there for Y/N so many times listening to her cry on her shoulder about Damiano being an asshole.

Ethan was a huge softie for Y/N , he saw role model in her and he had just an amazing amount of respect for her. There was so much adoration between these two.

Damianos and Y/Ns sex life was yet another (not so much surprisingly) aggressive but consentive thing in their relationship.

It was built on mutual respect towards their partners needs. Simple as that is Damiano would never do and has never done something to make Y/N uncomfortable , same goes for her to him.

Before even sleeping together for the first time they detailedly talked about everything they where and where not interested in.

Their sex was rough, fast , aggressive , filled with degradation coming from his side.

Damiano was a switch top , but when it came to his so to say submissive side , it was expressed in very small amounts .

He loved being in charge , he was very flexible and he loved to use his tongue a lot , he loves to blindfold her and torture her , he loves slapping and biting into her soft creamy skin , shoulders , neck and chest especially.

He loved when Y/N left marks on his back and thighs from her sharp nails , he loved how she took good care of her hygiene and now she smelled.

He loved her hair and loved to squish her thighs. Did I mentioned he was into biting?

Y/N was flexible when it came to kinks , but she was definitely a switch bottom , it was just that she wasn't interested in being dominant and there was no need for it in her opinion.

She knew how to seduce Damiano , she knew very well.

After each time they slept together , regardless if it was fucking to realise all that stress or if it was love making he would always , but always ask her the same.

'Was it good , how are you feeling mio amore?'

Mio amore or simply amore was his favourite nickname for her . Aftercare was huge kink for them.

Damiano was not into letting Y/N leave visible marks on him , neither was he so much into marking her visible spots but sometimes when rage blinds him her porcelain heck is his canvas.

He loved planned dates and he loved bringing her various flowers every third or forth day. He never forgot about a single special day of theirs and he sometimes remembers the birthdays of her family members even before her.

He loved , and i mean loved spoiling her with gifts. Y/N also loved giving him gifts but more than that she loved to cook with him some delicious and various meals.

Damiano and Y/N where not near the perfect. But they where madly in love. And no one could ever take that away from them

A/N sooo as i sad on the beginning this is my personal view of the relationship these to have going on. This was in fact inspired by my personal experience and i want this story not fully to be a smut or nsfw but a kinda lovey one , just wanna say this is not kind of behaviour you should tolerate or romanticize !

#damiano david #damiano maneskin #maneskin #eurovision #eurosong #eurovision 2021 #eurovision italy #victoria de angelis #ethan torchio #thomas raggi #relationship #toxic behavior #fanfic #toxic relationship #slight smut #slight angst #smut #zitti e buoni #love

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