#there's not enough funny jealous robin content | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

blushweddinggowns · 7 months

Note

Prompt number 2 bc I’m praying for more jealous Steve content. Bc Eddie can be so oblivious and Steve can be such a bitch and those things are so important to me

Eddie was a glutton for self-punishment, that was the only reasonable explanation he could come up with on what the fuck he was doing here. Sitting at some random gay bar as he watched the man he loved dance the night away with his bestfriend.

He just had to volunteer to be their designated driver. Maybe it was stupid, but Eddie thought that y'know, a gay bar meant that no he would not have to watch Steve flirt with some randos. But he forgot the small detail that bisexual people existed. And he had seen at least three damn girls slip Steve their number.

Which was just...so fucking cruel. Why did life always have to do him so dirty? Eddie had thought that maybe...if they went to this type of place together Steve's mind would open up a bit. A stupid fucking thought honestly. Based off of nearly nothing. Like, okay sure, Steve was all touchy feely with him sometimes. When he was high or drunk suddenly Eddie became his personal chair. And he would say just...the sweetest shit. Going on and on about how happy he was to have met him, how he's so glad he's alive and well, how funny Eddie was, how nice and sweet and pretty and...and all of it had sent his traitorous brain into a tailspin that had him thinking he actually had a chance with a straight guy.

And the fucked up part was that Eddie had really tried to start doing the right thing. He put a little distance between them when he figured out that he was past a silly crush. No he was head over heels for the guy and he needed to get over it. Fast. And if he could just start saying no when Steve called to get high or have a few beers together he probably would have made some progress by now.

But no, he was still to eager for contact with him to say no. Which made him feel like a creep, always waiting around for Steve to be a little out of his mind just so he could get a hug.

When did he become so pathetic?

The only slight comfort he had tonight was the fact that he wasn't alone. It really wasn't fair to bring a straight guy to a place like this, but at least every guy who had eyes on Steve was going to have to suffer in silence with him.

And some of them were kind of cute. Cute enough for Eddie to try and use one as a distraction. He was sitting next to a preppy looking guy, talking to him a little bit. Maybe he shouldn't have set his eyes on someone that kind of looked like Steve, but fuck it. His name was Andrew, and he was nice, a good flirt. The perfect diversion for when Eddie could tear his eyes away from Steve.

And things were actually getting a little interesting with him. He had his hand on Eddie's arm, leaning in to loudly whisper everything he said in Eddie's ear. He was smiling at him, close enough for Eddie to see the pretty gold flakes in his eyes.

They weren't as pretty as Steve's but they'd do.

Andrew tucked a bit of Eddie's hair back behind his ear, leaning in again. But he didn't go for his ear this time, no, he was zeroing in right to Eddie's lips. Not that he was complaining, he let it happen, a sweet, light kiss that had zero time to escalate to more.

Because suddenly, someone was tugging at his arm, hard enough to force Eddie's whole body back, nearly out of his chair. He blinked, more than a little startled to see Steve coming out of nowhere, clinging onto him with that stupid, gorgeous smile.

"Eddieeee," Steve whined, completely ignoring Andrew's presence, "Robin ditched me to make out with someone in the bathroom."

Eddie couldn't help but smile a little bit, despite the fact that he was definitely interrupting what was probably the first good thing about this night. He glanced over at Andrew, who was staring at them, wide-eyed before saying, "Uh, I didn't know you had a boyfriend."

"I don't-"

"I can't hear you in here," Steve loudly interrupted, looking adorably confused, "Come outside with me?"

If Eddie was smart, he would have gently pried Steve's hands off him before sending him off to find Robin. But...a drunk Steve was also a very cute and cuddly one. So fuck it, Eddie could find a rebound for his non-existent relationship next weekend.

He shrugged at Andrew, mouthing a quick apology at him before Steve started to drag him outside through the back door. Eddie half expected Steve to do his usual routine when he was toasted. Sweetly asking for a piggy back ride that Eddie literally could never refuse before falling asleep on his back. Then he'd get him in the car, wrangle Robin from wherever the hell she was, and they'd be off.

But the second they were stepping outside Steve was straightening up and stepping back, to Eddie's immediate confusion. He leaned against the wall, glaring at Eddie in a way he had never seen. Or at least directed at him.

"So," Steve started, his tone way too close to how he sounded when one of the kids pissed him off, "Who was that guy? You looked pretty cozy in there."

Eddie's brain was still struggling to catch up to the change in atmosphere here. But he tried to answer anyway, "I mean we were but-wait. Why are you not drunk? You were literally just-"

"It's called acting dipshit," Steve mumbled, crossing his arms in front of his chest. Which ow, rude. But his next words hurt even more, "Not like I have a choice, since you only seem to like me when I'm fucked up."

Eddie could feel his heart stop in his chest. He didn't-oh no. Oh god. Steve figured out he was a creep. A creep who was probably moments away from getting his ass handed to him.

Eddie swallowed, at a loss for what to say. But he still tried, "I-look dude it's um, it's not like that. I didn't- I wasn't trying to make you uncomfortable-"

"Then why the fuck would you kiss another guy right in front of me?"

Okay. That was enough of that. Yes, Steve could be mad about him being creepy, but no he couldn't be mad over having to bear witness for a gay kiss at a gay bar, "Well if I had known that you were apparently only okay with seeing girls kiss each other I wouldn't have come out tonight at all! Honestly Steve, how can you even say that? Like that is some real dumbass levels of homophobia, even for you. I thought the King Steve thing had died-"

"Shut the fuck up oh my god," Steve hissed out, "Are you really that damn dense? That's what you think I'm upset about? Are you fucking kidding me? And I'm the dumbass?"

"Then why are you mad?" Eddie half asked, half yelled.

“I’m not mad," Steve seethed, like he didn't look about five seconds away from choking Eddie out, "I...I just think you can choose better people to kiss.”

Maybe he really was drunk after all. Because now he wasn't making any damn sense.

Eddie pinched the bridge of his nose, beyond frustrated, "Who Steve? Like, I'm sorry to break this to you but not all of us can fucking look like you do alright? We're not all charming, golden Adonis basketball players okay? And sometimes you need to take what you can get. And there was nothing wrong with Andrew-"

"You think I look like a golden Adonis?" Steve interrupted, a weird expression on his face. He looked almost...hopeful? But that didn't make any sense.

"That's what you got out of that?" Eddie asked, exasperated, "I-come one dude. You know you're hot. But that's not my point."

"Well it's mine!" Steve groaned. He was biting his lips, a very distracting nervous habit that Eddie had picked up on, "Because what the fuck are we even doing? You think I'm so hot, so charming, so great, and you decide to kiss someone else in front of me? What the fuck is that? Do you like seeing me jealous? Do you get off on me pining? Please explain."

You see, that was the funny thing about Eddie's brain. One second he was lost, staring at Steve's red, bitten lips, and the next he was desperately trying to catch up with what just came out of his mouth. All of it the perfect blend to effectively shut his brain off completely.

Eddie stared at him, his words as dumb as how his face probably looked, "I-what? Huh?"

Steve narrowed his eyes at him, "Are we really doing this? Are you going to pretend like it's all in my head?"

"I-no. I just-please explain," Eddie is pretty damn sure he had never stuttered through a sentence that hard in his life.

"I've been coming on to you for months and you just keep giving me all of these mixed signals and..." Steve sighed, looking away, "I'm so sick of it Eddie. If you don't like me just say that! Stop whatever this is. Because it's mean and you know it. If you want a better option then just take it already and leave me alone."

He-what-that didn't even- Steve was straight, wasn't he? And now the stuttering had invaded his thoughts. Because if he actually understood all of that then...

He was the biggest idiot on the planet.

And his stunned silence was not helping anything.

Steve sighed, pushing himself away from the wall. He turned away, "I'm going to find Robin. We can just...act like this didn't happen I guess. I'm done."

Eddie had to give himself on thing, at least his body was working a lot faster than his brain. Steve barely had time to take a single step away before he was shooting his hand out to grab his wrist, stopping him in his tracks.

"I didn't know you were an option!" Eddie blurted out, his heart hammering in his chest, "I-Stevie I thought all of it was in my head. I-I thought that you were straight and we were just hanging out-"

"You think I sit in the laps of my other guy friends?" Steve asked, completely unimpressed, "While playing with their hair and calling them beautiful? Really, dude?"

Eddie nodded, sure and fast, "Steve, I had to do my senior year three damn times. I'm not always the smartest okay? And in my defense you never mentioned like dudes-"

"Yes I have," Steve interrupted, "When you came out to me, I told you to your face that I understand. That I could relate about hiding things and not talking about it. I literally said we were in the same boat. What else could that mean?"

Eddie remembered that, crystal clear. But..."I thought you were talking about PTSD, not secretly being into dudes."

"One dude," Steve corrected, but he was relaxing a little, thank fuck. Maybe Eddie could still fix this.

He took a deep breath, using his hold on Steve's wrist to pull him closer. His hands were fucking shaking, bad enough for Steve to almost certainly notice when he rested them on his hips.

This was it, he might as well be as clear as humanly possible, "I am so into you. Like a scary amount. Like I'm...borderline in love with you."

He was completely in love with him, but he didn't have the balls to say that bit out loud. He kept going, "And I didn't know you felt the same way. At all. Like I am dangerously close to having a stroke from hearing all of that. You kind of flipped my world upside down there."

Steve huffed out a laugh. Eddie may have fucked up everything leading up to this point, but Steve was eating his little speech right up. He shuffled a little closer, wrapping his arms around Eddie's neck with a small smile, "Keep going."

"I thought that I had no chance. I mean even tonight, people couldn't stop looking at you. And you got those numbers-"

"I threw them away," Steve interrupted, "You missed that part."

He had definitely missed that part, too caught up in his own head. But that didn't stop a smile from breaking out on Eddie's face, "Good. Because if you want me, you have me. I'm all yours, in any way you want me. Understand? Fuck, Stevie if I had known any of this we'd be the ones making out in the bathroom right now. And I'm sorry about..."

For the life of him Eddie couldn't remember his name, not when he had Steve smiling at him in his arms, "The other guy. But it literally means nothing to me. Not if I get to have you. Do...do I get to have you?"

Steve hummed, pretending to think about it while he played with a lock of Eddie's hair, "I guess that depends. Is making out in the bathroom still on the table?"

"Fuck yes it is."

Steve grinned, leaning up to press the sweetest little kiss to the side of Eddie's mouth, "Then I guess you have me then."

#steddie #steddie ficlet #silly steddie #asks #bitch steve #i think this might be helping?#with the inspiration lack?#unsure #but thank you for the prompt <3 #Honestly I really prefer jealous Eddie #but for you anon you'll get jealous Steve!#Robin meanwhile is having the time of her life in that bathroom #let the girl have her hoe phase #poor andrew #lol #im pretty sure this isn't the first time ive fucked over an andrew #one more to go~

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ryangosking · 2 years

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Boobies

Summary- Things change between you and Steve when he accidentally walks in on you half naked. Fluff/smut, friends to lovers.

Warnings- 18+ for sexual content. Lil' bit of thigh riding, fingering, unprotected p in v sex, swearing.

"Steeeeve!" You screech, your arms automatically covering your naked chest.

"Oh shit." He mumbles, holding onto the half open door, still staring.

"STEVE!" You yell.

"God, sorry!" He finally turns his back. "Your mom said it was OK to come up."

"Well it wasn't! I'll meet you in the car." You tell him, shortly.

"Yeah, sure, OK." He stutters, flustered, closing the door.

You're actually MORTIFIED, your friend Steve seeing you half naked like that. Hastily pulling on your bra and shirt, your whole body feels like it's on fire with embarrassment. Not only was Steve your friend, you'd had a crush on him for years. It had been bad enough recently, having to listen to him bemoan his love life - after Nancy he'd gone aimlessly from girl to girl, looking for something you knew you could give him. And now he'd be comparing you to all the others, the discarded ones. Dammit.

Steve sat in the car, in shock. He kept replaying the scene as he waited for you, how soft you looked and .... touchable. It wasn't as if he'd never seen boobs before, he'd seen LOTS of boobs, all shapes and sizes. But these were different, they were attached to you, his kind and funny friend, who patiently listened to his romantic woes after yet another date crashed and burned. He had actually come close to asking you out a few times over the years, always backing out at the last minute, convinced it would ruin your friendship. That you knew him too well to like him like THAT.

But now, all Steve could think about was touching you, filling his hands and mouth with your pliable flesh....his cock twitches in his jeans and he jumps as you throw yourself into the passenger seat, red faced.

"Let's go." You murmur, looking straight ahead.

A couple of days later you're at Family Video, picking something to watch with your mom. You had exploded at her for letting Steve in that day, and now you had calmed down, were at pains to make it up to her.

"What's the deal with you and Steve?" Robin whispers urgently, suddenly appearing next to you.

"What?" You swallow, picking up a random movie and pretending to study the back of the case. "What do you mean?"

"You're barely speaking. It was the same the other night, at the movies." She hisses, going through the motions of straightening the shelf.

"We were watching the movie." You shrug, picking up something starring Richard Gere- a guaranteed mother pleaser.

"And afterwards, when we went for ice cream, it was like you were scared to look at each other or something." Robin continues.

Yeah, you had to admit, it had been awkward. Usually you and Steve would sit together, sharing snacks and making comments about the film, but you had positioned yourself so that Robin was between you. It can't have been much fun for her.

You sigh and turn to her. "He walked in on me getting changed, when he was picking me up to go to the movies."

Robin laughs, causing Steve to look over, frowning, from the counter.

"Robin!"

"Sorry but, it all becomes clear now." She chuckles.

"It does?" You're lost.

"Exactly how much did he see?" She probes, looking disconcertingly delighted.

You gesture vaguely to your chest and Robin nods.

"I get it. Dumbstruck by your tatas."

"Tatas, Robin? Seriously?"

"Maybe he liked what he saw." She says slyly.

"What?"

"He's probably just thinking about getting his hands on them."

"My....tatas? " You swallow, glancing over at Steve. He's leaning over the counter, chatting with a pretty girl and she's laughing at one of his stupid jokes. Jealousy twists in your gut like so many times before.

"Yeah, I mean he's obviously got a thing for you." Robin says, matter of factly.

"No." You scoff, your face burning. "As if!"

"It's true. That's why he's so jealous of your crush on Michael J Fox."

"Really?" You cast your mind back to all the times you had a tiny inkling that there might be the remotest chance in hell that Steve had feelings for you and you had dismissed it. Sometimes you caught him looking at you but you had thought he was just spacing, off in Harrington world. Could it be TRUE ?!

"And I've seen you looking at his butt." Robin says, winking conspiratorially.

"I'll go for this." You announce, handing over the Richard Gere movie. "My mom's bound to love it."

"Nice subject change." Robin deadpans, rolling her eyes.

The next weekend, Steve invites you over to his house for a movie night, his parents are gone as usual so he has the place to himself. Robin is also invited but she can't make it, (subtle!) off doing her own thing with Vickie.

Since your conversation with Robin you had noticed Steve looking at you more often, looking away and blushing when he's caught. It makes your heart (and everything else) ache.

On Friday evening he picks you up from the library and you swing by Family Video for snacks and a couple of free rentals. Just being near him makes your heart beat faster now, you can feel something has changed between you.

Now you're in the Harrington's den, curled up on the luxurious sofa while Steve sits in an armchair next to you. He's wearing one of your favourite shirts, a striped polo - it hugs his biceps just right, and shows off his delectable neck. Every time you glance over you have to squeeze your thighs together in an attempt to calm the throbbing in your cunt.

"I can't believe you made me watch Teen Wolf again." He sighs, as the credits roll.

"You know how I feel about MJF." You say, lightly, reaching to the coffee table for the popcorn.

"I don't even know why you like him." Steve grumbles. "He's so short, you're probably taller than him."

"He's cute." You shrug, smiling to yourself. "Now it's your turn. Please not Fast Times again!"

Steve produces a tape from behind the armchair. "Ta da! Fright Night!" He announces, raising his eyebrows.

"Steve, you know I don't do horror. I get nightmares." You remind him, clutching a cushion.

"It'll be fine. It's a comedy. The guy just HAPPENS to be a vampire." He says, crouching next to the tape player.

"OK." You murmur, unsure.

"If you get scared you can come and sit on my lap, ok?" He chuckles, glancing at you.

The offer hangs in the air for a minute, and you're not sure if he's really joking.

"Deal." You reply, softly.

Thankfully, the movie IS funny, which takes your mind off the more gory parts.

Steve grins at you when you laugh. "See, not scary."

It's almost like old times, except you're constantly thinking of ways to get closer to him. Should you pretend to be scared so he'll comfort you? Jesus, what have you become??

When the inevitable sex scene comes up, you watch with interest as Steve shifts in his seat and clears his throat, red faced.

The well-endowed woman on-screen takes her top off and he scoffs, flustered. "They're fake."

He flicks a look at your chest and swallows. Oh.

"Hey Steve," You say playfully, feeling bold. "My face is up here."

Steve stiffens in his seat, blinking. "Oh God I'm sorry, I didn't mean to-"

"It's OK." You say softly. "Are her's nicer than mine?"

He almost chokes on his popcorn. "What?"

"You heard me." You smile, untucking your shirt from your denim skirt. "Would you like a closer look? For comparisons sake?"

Steve's mouth falls open slightly as he stares at you. "Seriously?"

You nod and pat the space on the couch next to you, your tummy doing somersaults of anticipation. "Come here."

He almost trips as he rounds the coffee table, and then pauses. "Wait, is this a prank? Is this something you and Robin cooked up? Is she behind the couch, right now?"

"No Steve." You laugh. "It's not a prank."

"Just checking." He sits down, eyes fixed on your hands as you unbutton your shirt, revealing the bra beneath.

Feeling more and more brazen, you open your shirt, letting it slip off your shoulder. "Well, are mine nicer?"

He tilts his head and then nods. "Yep." He croaks. "They're....nicer."

"You can touch me if you want."

Tentatively he places his hand on your breast and squeezes gently, making a noise in the back of his throat. "Fuck."

It feels so good to have his hand on you, the heat of his palm searing through the lacy material. You lean forward to kiss him and he suddenly leans back, a panicked expression on his face.

"No no no! Not again Harrington." He mumbles, jumping up. He starts pacing the room.

Shame and embarrassment bloom in your guts, and you draw your shirt back over your chest, folding your arms.

"What are you doing?" Steve asks, running a hand through his hair.

"I thought it's what you wanted." You say quietly, not looking at him.

"It is, believe me. It took all my strength not to just dive on top of you just now." He swallows.

"Well then?" You ask, plaintively.

"Do you really think it's a good idea? If we do...something, it'll change everything."

"It's already changed, Steve. I'm tired of just being your friend." You blurt. SHIIIIT.

"Really?" He asks, eyebrows knitted together. "I thought, well, you think I'm an idiot, right?"

"So? That's why I...." You sigh. May as well come clean all the way. "Remember, a couple of summers ago when I was a counsellor at that dumb camp?"

Steve chuckles coldly and folds his arms. "Oh yeah."

"I lost my virginity to that dickhead swimming instructor Adam? It was horrible."

"Ha!" He crows. "I knew it!"

"Yeah, I may have lied when I told you about it. It wasn't good or romantic, actually it hurt. But least it was mercifully brief." You admit.

"He hurt you?" Steve says, anger flashing in his dark eyes.

"Not intentionally. He just didn't care." You shrug. "And all I could think about was you. How I had wanted you to be my first."

In fact you had cried off activities for the rest of the day citing a stomach upset, and stayed in bed feeling sorry for yourself. You knew you were just another notch on Adam's bedpost, but part of you had just wanted to get your first time over with. Still, you couldn't help thinking about Steve, imagining for the thousandth time how it would have been with him.

When you returned to Hawkins, you made up a romantic midnight lakeside liaison, making Adam sound like an expert in the art of virginity taking. The reality of an uncomfortable bunk bed and thoughtless execution stayed with you. Steve had grinned and given you a high-five.

"Oh." His face softens and he sits next to you again. "Why didn't you tell me the truth?"

"Because its embarrassing. You were so caught up with Nancy...." You trail off, helplessly.

"Honestly, when you told me about that asshole I was jealous." Steve says, half smiling at the memory.

"You were?"

"I'd always thought I'd be your first too. You deserve to be fuc- I mean - treated - right." He reaches over and moves a strand of hair behind your ear.

"So what now?" You ask, heart hammering at his closeness.

Steve touches your face and kisses you gently, his other hand sliding under your shirt. "Do you still want to?" He murmurs.

You nod, already drunk from his touch. "Yeah."

You're on Steve's lap, thighs splayed over his, skirt rucked up over your hips. His hand is between your legs and he's rubbing your pussy through your panties, the thin material growing damper by the second.

"I can't believe this is happening." Steve murmurs, kissing your neck.

"Me neither." You gasp, squirming against his fingers as you pull his shirt over his head.

You run your hands over him, stroking his chest and arms, dropping kisses onto his shoulders. You've thought about this so many times, late at night when you couldn't sleep, touching yourself and wishing it was Steve.

Suddenly he takes his hand away from your aching cunt and you want to cry, you need more, you need to be full of him.

He removes your bra so stealthily you almost don't notice, pushing your breasts together and kissing them. When he takes a nipple into his mouth you start grinding on his leg, desperate for some relief.

Steve takes the hint and returns a hand to your pussy, fingers inside your panties now, thumbing your swollen clit.

"Did Adam make you feel like this?" He asks, lowly, sliding two fingers into you. "Make you this wet?"

"No." You whimper, as he curls his fingers. "Fuck, Steve!"

He chuckles, dirtily. "Are you ready for my cock? Because I'm about to burst here."

You undo his belt and let down his zipper, Steve sighs with relief and takes his cock out. Your mouth starts to water at the sight of it, so hard and leaking at the tip. Tentatively you touch him, stroking the length and swiping your thumb over the head.

Steve shifts you on his lap, pulling your panties down impatiently, his eyes almost black with desire. You kiss him softly, feeling such tenderness towards him, wanting to give him everything.

He lines his cock up at your entrance, and moves into you slowly, groaning as your velvety walls hug him. While you appreciate his gentleness, at this point you just want him to fuck your brains out.

"Steve, I'm not a virgin, you don't have to be so- aaahhh!" You mouth drops open as he snaps his hips and fucks up into you, filling you with one thrust.

"You OK?" He gasps.

"Yeah....feels good." You swallow, gripping his shoulder for leverage.

He slides his hand into your hair and pulls you down for a kiss as he moves inside you. You moan into his mouth and rock your hips to meet his thrusts, placing a hand on his sweaty chest.

This was worlds away from what had transpired with Adam, you're not even sure that was sex. There was only his smug expression afterwards and the blood on the bunk bed blanket that was testament to what had occurred that afternoon.

"Fuck, why didn't we do this sooner?" Steve gasps, flush-faced, hands on your hips.

"Because you're an idiot." You sigh affectionately, stroking his hair and kissing him.

He bends his head to nuzzle at your breasts again, and you feel the first spark of an orgasm in your belly.

"Steve." You whine, your hand moving down to rub your clit. He brushes your hand away and takes over, his fingers moving in tight circles.

"Yeah thats it." He breathes. "Cum on my cock sweetheart."

You bury your face in his shoulder as your orgasm rolls through you, holding onto him and moaning against his hot neck.

"Aw fuuuck ..." Steve groans, and you feel him stiffen and throb deep inside your cunt.

You don't want to move. You don't want it to be over yet.

Steve lets out a breathless chuckle, you feel it rumbling through his chest.

"What?" You murmur, exhausted all of a sudden. You could fall asleep right here.

"We forgot about the movie."

You turn your head and see the tape has ejected itself from the player, the TV screen blank.

"Oops."

#steve harrington x you #steve harrington x female reader #steve harrington smut

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002yb · 1 year

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The problem with sharing a best friend with the man you’ve been hopelessly crushing on for two lifetimes is that said shared best friend will inevitably notice and swear that ‘he’s got this.’ In fact, it would be his pleasure to hook his boys up. To say Jason is mortified would be an understatement. He doesn’t want to be hooked up. He was more than content to take his little (persisting, devastating) crush on Dick Grayson to his grave. Again. Because it deserves to be buried.

“A bit dramatic, don’t you think?” Roy accuses, then turns around and offers Jason his most playful, dickish smirk. “Yeah, I think you two might actually be really compatible.”

Let it be known that while Roy Harper isn’t a detective, his best friends are and over the years he’s picked up a thing or two. The only reason he noticed Jason’s crush is because of a completely unremarkable interaction. Just a fleeting glance from Jason when Dick happened to pass by - all golden and gorgeous even post workout as Dick mundanely wandered into the kitchen for water. Just a ducked head, uncharacteristically bashful and something that Roy hasn’t seen since Jason was Robin.

It’s precious.

Just as sweet is how Jason puffs himself up, aiming for belligerent and missing by a mile. Jason hits somewhere closer to endearing, in Roy’s opinion. Menacingly cute with his rosy cheeks and an aggressive scowl.

Not so precious is the actual night terror that Roy can see staring at them from over Jason’s shoulder in the distance - eyes narrowed and lips curled into a scowl, expression colder than the forgotten ice-water on the counter. It’s damn near bone-chilling, actually. A lesser man might jump at the undercurrent of disdain and displeasure emanating off of Dick, but Roy is more than familiar with how Dick sulks.

It’s a bit harder to place where Dick’s feelings are though. Jealous? Obviously. The question is why. Roy has his suspicions, of course; he’d gamble on them too, if push came to shove. Jason and his feelings deserve to be handled with more care though, so...

“Grayson!” Roy shouts. Immediately, Jason’s shoulders shoot up to his ears with tension as he bristles, shoving Roy in retaliation although Jason can’t know what Roy has planned yet.

Dick, too, startles. The dark aura that had been hanging over him fades away as Dick smiles - a well-practiced thing that’s more habit than anything as he makes his way over to them.

“Harper. What’s up?” Dick asks.

“You dating anyone?”

The look of panic on Jason’s face is comical. It would be more funny if Jason were to look up from where he averts his gaze to see that Dick clearly looks at Jason, gaze lingering before pulling away to look at Roy, sheepish.

“Not at the moment.” Dick tells him, brows furrowed a bit because he knows that Roy already knows that. “Why? You offering?”

Oh. Oh, no. Commonplace as this playful teasing between Roy and Dick is, Jason isn’t familiar enough with their dynamic to know that it’s all harmless fun. The death glare that’s abruptly shot Roy’s way is a promise of violence like Roy has never known before and it’s frightening.

Roy stands by it: Dick and Jason are definitely compatible.

Dramatic. Jealous. Scary and devastating in that awe inspiring way only natural disasters are.

“You know I’ve already got a special lady in my life.” Roy says, nearly beaming with pride and disarming both of his friends in an instant. Lian is a light in all their lives and the perfect means of diffusing any situation; bless her. “Todd is single here though, you know?”

Once again, Jason levels Roy with a look that speaks of Roy’s future demise - their friendship be damned. Roy can’t help but chuckle to himself because for as fearsome as Jason is, he’s such a maiden. It’s no wonder Lian always wants Jason to play the princess in all her games of make-believe. It might also say something how somehow Dick is always the prince... fuck, his little girl is so smart and insightful. She figured it out before any of them, huh?

Dick’s attention shifts to Jason - his flushed cheeks and burning ears and the passionate snarl that mars his features. It’s obvious to Dick that he’s missing something, but Roy offers him nothing but a cheeky smile. As neutrally as he can to avoid having Jason’s ire turned on him, Dick says, “Cool.”

“Roy, I swear - “ Jason starts.

Roy cuts him off with a brilliant smile and even more brilliant suggestion: “You guys should go out.”

The panic that washes over them both is hilarious. It has Roy internally cackling. These bastards always one-up him in so many ways, but now he’s got something over both of them and it’s amazing. He’s never seen either of them look so flustered; eyes wide and jaws either dropped or clenched as they struggle to process and react. That both of their thoughts went to the same place is promising though, hah!

Because they’re both stunned still with mortification (Jason) and stupefaction (Dick), Roy grins and playfully torments, “Wingman for each other.”

Dick and Jason’s matching grimaces are possibly the funniest thing Roy’s seen in some time. It’s instantaneous, mirrored on both of their faces.

Roy feels so damn powerful. These two will be fucking by the end of the night, for sure. Roy told Jason that ‘he’s got this,’ and he meant it. If Dick caves to the notion of helping Jason find a beau (and he will, generously kind and self-sacrificing man that Dick is), Jason’s competitiveness will surely have him giving in, too. Jealousy and an unspoken possessiveness will handle the rest.

It’s just a matter of time.

-------

It’s been a bit since I’ve posted something like this. Or written much of anything, ahahaha. Rough as it is, hopefully it’s still enjoyable. (●˙꒳˙●)

#jaydick #dickjay #royjay #dickroy #roy harper #jason todd #dick grayson #words

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rainbownixie · 2 years

Note

elmax hcs? or just el and/or max lol i love them & they deserve more content <3

HEY SORRY FOR THE LATE REPLY I GOT DISTRACTED- but now i'm here and i'm so so so ready to tell you my elmax hcs <3 i love them they're like my?? 2nd favorite ship??? they're my favorite girls!!

they have their own secret little code to talk about the guys!! like all of them have nicknames so that way they can gossip about them without them knowing. they're always so confused but never really ask because they think it's just "girl stuff"

they go on double dates with byler. i know. they told me. they go on picnics and watch movies and just love to spend time together <3 max and mike actually start getting along because of that

it's funny because at first they don't tell hopper they're dating because they want to be able to have sleepovers together <33 ofc hopper then finds out somehow and makes them leave the door open 3 inches

they use each other's clothes CONSTANTLY. so much that they actually end up buying stuff together so they can share it!!! the perks of having a gf that uses the same size as you

max calls el every morning just to be the first one doing it because she knows hopper doesn't want to wake up el when he goes early to work!

joyce takes the girls shopping and hangs out with them a lot!! they have their own girl nights and love watching movies together!! they try to explain joyce who's wonder woman and she ends up loving her!

max's mom doesn't know they're dating but loves el!! she thinks she's really sweet and great for max <33 that's enough for max for the moment tbh

max teaches el how to use a skate! after a few tries she finally gets to be able to not fall, but ends up doing it on purpose anyway because she likes when max catches her

el's favorite superhero is probably supergirl and max's is wonder woman!! but they also like marvel, and i think max would love black widow and el's fav would be scarlett witch!

max helps el with homework because she still struggles with some stuff!!

jonathan taught el how to use a polaroid, so now she and max have a lot of pictures together!! el's room is full of them and max has a little corner in her room too

they bought together a notebook where they write letters to each other everyday!! they also use it as an album where they put all of their pics together <3

el now goes to high school with them and she shares most of the classes with max (they always seat together) but when they don't, they always wait for each other to walk to their next class together

they often have lunch with the guys but sometimes they sneak out to eat together alone

max loves calling el "angel" (because, well... ang-el) and el calls her "love". it makes max blush every time.

the party knows, of course, and they're okay with it. but it's really funny seeing their reactions every time el and max are clingy and cheesy because they're soooo done. except lucas and will!!! they're so so happy for them!!!

when robin finds out she practically adopts the girls like- she loves them so much

max always jokes saying she stole mike's girlfriend because she knows it annoys him. although he's literally dating will.

steve is so. damn. supportive. he loves them both like crazy and he can't stop smiling whenever he sees them. like, ofc he's tired of them being in love because he wants that too!!! he's jealous!!! damn kids!!! but he genuinely is so happy for max and el <3

they listen to kate bush together

el makes mixtapes for max because will and jonathan told her it was a big gesture of love (byers gifting mixtapes my fav thing ever) and max literally only listens to them

hope you liked them!!! sorry again for the late reply i often forget about stuff like this :( but this was so much fun and i was so excited to do it!!! <3

#my beautiful girls #they deserve the world #they're in love #they're so important to me #elmax #eleven hopper #max mayfield #byler #stranger things

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and-claudia · 2 years

Text

The Next Morning (A Day at the Waterpark pt.3) (Billy Edition)

Word count: 1420

Warnings: none I don’t think (let me know if I did miss any though) unless we wanna count Billy and Karen wheeler as a warning?? 😂

Genre: General 🤍

Stranger Things Masterlist

Stranger Things Taglist

“Awe, isn’t that cute.” Steve said upon seeing me still asleep with my head on Billy’s chest.

I stirred slightly and slowly opened my eyes.

“Look what you did, Harrington, you woke her up.” Billy grumbled.

“S’okay.” I said before taking a deep breath and sighing contently, closing my eyes once again.

“Sweetheart, you need to get up. I think Karen is almost done with breakfast.” He said.

“You just want me to get up so you can go see her before she goes back up stairs.” I said, tilting my head to look up at him.

“Nah, I found someone much prettier than her.” He said with a small smirk.

“Oh yeah?” I raised an eyebrow at him.

“Yeah… but I really do need you to get up. I gotta piss.” He said, bluntly.

“Billy!” I groaned, “You really know how to kill a cute moment.” I said as I sat up and he followed in suit.

“Yeah, but you still love me.” He nudged my shoulder with his before he stood up.

That’s just how our friendship worked. Constant flirting. Nothing ever came from it. Unfortunately. I did love Billy, but not in the way he was expecting.

I stretched one last time before getting up and going up stairs. Nancy and Robin were already up there and upon seeing me they both began to smile. I rolled my eyes and grabbed a plate from Mrs.Wheeler with a small thank you.

“You’re welcome, sweetie. Is Billy coming up soon? I think he’s the last one were missing, right?” She asked, glancing to the stairs that lead to the basement as if saying his name would some how summon him to appear.

“Yeah, he’s in the bathroom I think.” I said.

She only nodded and didn’t look away from the stairs.

Once my back was to her I rolled my eyes causing Nancy and Robin to laugh as I took a seat next to them.

“Are you seriously jealous of my mom, Yn?” Nancy asked quietly.

“No.” I said sharply, stabbing a few pieces on Eggo on to my fork.

“I think that waffel your abusing would say othewise.” Robin said.

I just shook my head. Footsteps were heard coming up the stairs and the three of us all looked over to watch the interaction between the two of them.

“Ah, good morning Mrs.Wheeler.” He greeted, giving his signature smile.

“Good morning, Billy.” She said, returning the smile before turing to grab a plate.

“Here, I wasn’t sure if just a couple Eggo waffles would be enough for you not to be hungry, I just know how… active you are. So I made you some eggs as well.” She said handing him the plate.

He smiled down at it with an overly dramatic surprised expression before looking back up at her.

“You are such a doll!” He beamed, making her visibly blush, “Thank you, Mrs.Whe- I mean Karen.”

“You’re welcome, Billy.” As she spoke, her hand came up to graze his upper arm before he walked away to come join us.

“That was so gross.” Robin said.

“What?” Billy asked, “I’m just being me.” He said with a cocky grin as he took a bite of his food.

I just rolled my eyes and laughed.

Though I did feel a pang of jealousy, his antics were, at times, funny to witness.

After we ate, we all went about getting ready to leave. I already had my swimsuit on and had walked back out of the bathroom. Somehow I couldn’t find my cover up.

“How the hell did I leave that?” I mumbled to myself as I dug through my bag once again.

“What’d you forget this time?” Billy asked, looking down at me from where he was leaning against the wall.

“I was so concerned about making sure I grabbed an extra towel, and sunscreen for anyone who forgot anything, I think I forgot my coverup… so that leaves me with either my pjs or my work clothes from yesterday.” I sighed.

“Hold on.” He said, pushing himself off the wall.

He walked over to his bag and squatted down.

“Here.” He said, holding out one of his button up shirts to me.

“Are you sure, Billy? I don’t want it to get messed up if it gets wet.” I said.

“Take it, Yn.” He pressed.

I took it, “Thank you, Billy.” I said trying not to blush as he winked in response.

I threw it on and buttoned it up about half way.

“Dude, have you even used these buttons before?” I teased, seeing as they were stiffer than the bottom ones.

“Probably not.” He shrugged with a laugh.

“Look at us though, we’re all matchy.

Somehow, we had managed to wear the same color suit, and the white button up he handed me matched the white tank top he had on.

“We do look pretty good.” I agreed.

Once everyone was dressed and ready, Nancy and I did one final check that everyone had everything we needed.

“Okay, kiddos, listen up for car assignments.” I said once we were all outside.

“We’re not kids.” Mike complained.

“Then why are you whining like one?” I asked, making everyone else laugh a little bit.

“Dustin, Will, Lucas and Mike, you’re all riding with Eddie.” They all nodded and made their way over to his van.

“You two girls are with Billy.” I said to El and Max.

Max let out a small groan.

“Don’t worry, I’m riding with him as well. I’ll make sure he stays in check.” I reassured her, making both of them smile.

“That means, older kiddos,” I said turning to Robin, Nancy and Steve, “You three are with Jonathan.”

They nodded, already knowing that’s where they were riding.

“Since you have the directions, do you want to lead?” Nancy asked.

“Yeah that’s fine.” I nodded.

“Is that the best idea with Billy’s driving? He’s going to leave us in the dust.” Robin said.

“I’ll make sure he actually obeys traffic laws. Nancy has the address as well. Worst case scenario you pull over and get directions. I’ll go make sure Dustin or Will has the address as well just in case.” I said.

We all dispersed, they went to Jonathan’s car while I went over to the van. I went over to the passenger side. Dustin rolled down the window for me.

“Billy is going to lead since I have directions. Here’s the address,” I gave Dustin the address as he wrote it down on a napkin, “If we get separated somehow, just pull over to a gas station or something and get directions. If we get there before you all, one of us will go in and score us a decent spot while the others wait. Sound good?”

Eddie and Dustin nodded.

“Alrighty, let’s roll out then.” I said hopping down from where I was standing on the step up into the van.

I gave the hood of the van a snack as I walked to Billy’s Camaro.

“About time.” Billy teased as I got in.

Max and El were already in the backseat, talking to one another.

“In my defense, I was reassuring everyone that you wouldn’t leave them behind with your crazy-ass driving.” I teased back.

“I,” he began proudly, “am an excellent driver.”

“Sure, how much did it cost to fix it after the whole 4th of July incident?” I shot back.

He made jokes about everything that happened to him last year. It was his way of coping with it. I was one of the only ones allowed to joke about it as well.

“Ha ha. Aren’t you funny?” He asked, putting the car in gear and pulling off.

He made sure everyone was with us at every light and stop sign which made me smile a little. He had changed so much and it was obvious he actually cared about our group.

“I got Eddie to make a few mixtapes for me, they’re in the glove compartment if you want to put one in.” He offered nodding to where they were.

“Ooh.” I said, opening up the compartment.

I looked over the song lists written on the side of the tapes and picked on I thought the girls would hate the least. The drive wasn’t too bad. Billy did give me a couple scares but that was to be expected and he apologized afterwards. It was too long before we were pulling into the parking lot.

Billy Taglist:

@lothiriel9

@leetaeilsnecktattoo

@jedi-mabari

@honey-tongued-devil

@notfeelingverydora

#stranger things #billy hargrove x f!reader #Billy Hargrove #billy hargrove imagine #billy hargrove one shot #billy hargrove x reader #billy x reader #billy hargrove hc #OoC billy Hargrove

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recaffeine · 4 months

Text

1/8/2024

Heavy is the head that wears the crown. I used this quote many a times in 2023. I realize now of the significance of this quote. This year, I met many people. I've quarreled with a few long the way.

What I learned from from my experience with Tu is that some people will use their misery as a way to lash out on others. They will become hypervigilant and take every joke as a perceived attack. I think about how sometimes a dog's personality will take after their master. Her dog has high anxiety and will bite others out of fear. I believe she did the same. Yet, Tu is my friend and we grew up together. I know of her hardships. Time has not been kind to her over the years. If there is a way to grant her a little peace, I would really like to try to help her with it. Forgiving tu wasn't easy. There are still days where I well up in anger. But I know deep down that she has a good heart. I want to continue to believe in her.

Calvin wasn't someone I expected to win Villain of the Year award in 2023. He became my Dr. Mann. When I first met him, I could always sense a deep hurt that echoed in his heart. It made me happy to give him some pleasant memories from the church of taeyeon adventures. What I didn't foresee was the bouts of anger and jealousy that would seethe from him over time. It was the same feeling I experienced with Thomas over my 20s. I want more than anything for him to have a heart full of content. Over the course of a few months, I saw the man who dubbed me Robin of the Titans, slowly begin to resent my personality. He began to throw veiled verbal attacks on me through passive aggressiveness. What I liked the most about Calvin though is he does know the weight of his actions. I feel the shame as he averts his gaze from mine. He is on the long road for recovery but I'll always be willing to lend a helping hand to my brother.

Meeting Thomas again was always going to be a mixed bag. Yet overall, I enjoyed catching up with my old friend. I am glad we are both old enough to acknowledge both of our shortcomings when it came to our friendship. I can still feel the tinges of envy that come from Thomas. I know he still tries really hard to emulate the qualities he was so jealous and envious of when it came to me. . He told me during our catch up that he didn't like it when people interject his negative experience with their positive expirence. A few minutes later, he did the same to me! It was funny because he caught it just as he said it. It's fascinating to see him project his habits that he doesn't like about himself towards me still. At the same time, maybe that is the legacy that I leave within him. He tries to be empathetic and he tries to give intellectual advice. Though it still seems like he's following my footsteps, i think he's on his way towards carving his own path.

I am forever indebted to Anh Tran. For I am an imperfect man. I have many shortcomings and I've made a plethora of marked failures in 2023. Yet, she still chooses to love me through it all. I am grateful to have been blessed with her heart's presence. I admire her undying resolve, her tenacious fire, and her angelic compassion. I wouldn't be where I am today without her. I would not be able to end my 20s with such a victory lap without her. My 30s are already beginning with a roar. To think that she rendered this thunder storm of a heart into clear skies. I was able to travel all across the country with such a beautiful love. From the busy streets of New York to the peaceful waves of California, I'm glad to have been able to spend it with you. I can't wait for what 2024 will have in store for us. You are the best girl that I have entrusted my secrets, my fears and my aspirations to. I want to help fulfill your dreams too. I want to continue to be safe haven. I want to continue to do my best to be there for you.

To Alec, my right hand man. Thank you for believing in me. You keep me on a straight path too. I want to continue to try my best to do good, to show you that love is always the right answer. Anger and vitriol are products of a darker timeline. There is always light, even in the darkest depths. Honestly, I learn a lot from you. I admire your work ethic, your curious compassion, and your moral compass. It reminds me of Tony starks and Peter parkers relationship. It isn't about what you did, but how you make up for it that defines you. In you, I found a little brother, a pure lifelong friend, and someone I truly trust.

To Victoria, I hope to continue to carry the sense of light heartened that you're able to exude so easily. For me, I still get bogged down from time to time about the past. You show me the importance of a light friendship. You show me how to foster long term connection. You inspire me to be confident and to be myself irregardless of the cost.

I have erred. I have conquered. I have soared. The most important lesson this year is to swallow the failure and not let the failure swallow you. How a king receives his crown, is when they take their hardships and makes gold out of it. I've made a treasure trove of grand memories. I am thankful and grateful for all of this.

#writing #personal

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chenziee · 3 years

Text

Jealousy

Request #4 for @blueriza! Thank you so much for the request!! I struggled a little bit with this one but I quite like the result! I hoope you enjoy! :D

—————

They were talking again. Zoro knew it probably didn’t mean anything; Sanji had always been a ladies man, Zoro knew that fact all too well, and Robin was just one of the crew members. There was nothing wrong with them talking or spending time together. Or whispering and laughing together only to shut up as soon as Zoro walked into the room. Almost like they didn’t want him to know what they were talking about.

Zoro knew it didn’t mean anything. Couldn’t mean anything. He was the one dating Sanji. He was the one to claim him for his own, not Robin or anyone else. It didn’t mean anything.

Maybe if he kept repeating that to himself long enough, it would stop nagging at him.

“If it bothers you so much, just go ask him what’s going on,” Usopp said with annoyance.

“I don’t know what you mean,” Zoro replied, hoping the sniper would just drop it.

But of course he didn’t; nothing could ever be that easy for him it seemed. “You’ve been glaring at the kitchen door for like an hour, I’m surprised it’s not on fire yet.” Usopp was speaking in such a flat voice that Zoro could just imagine the deadpan expression on his face without even looking away from the kitchen.

Zoro clicked his tongue in irritation. How was this even any of Usopp’s business? Not that there was any business in the first place. “I’m just thinking how I’m getting a bit hungry.”

“Sure,” Usopp drew out, sarcasm dripping from the one, simple word. “Seriously, just talk to him. You’re not twelve.”

“And what would I say? ‘Don’t talk to the other crew members?’” Zoro snapped, finally looking at the sniper with a glare.

Usopp laughed at his words. “I wouldn’t recommend that, that’s just asking for a fight. Try ‘can you please pay more attention to me?’”

“I’m not saying that,” Zoro said with distaste, making a face at the suggestion. And Usopp just told him he wasn’t twelve, as if begging for attention like that wouldn’t make him sound like a needy child.

Usopp rolled his eyes at him before turning back to his newest invention, only noting simply, “It doesn’t hurt to be honest sometimes.”

Zoro didn’t say anything to him after that but he did have to admit that maybe, just maybe… Usopp had a point. It sure as hell couldn’t be worse than stewing in this uncertainty and worry and whatever the hell these feelings were.

And so, after a few minutes of deliberation, Zoro finally grabbed his swords and got up, heading straight for the kitchen. His timing couldn't have been better either, when as soon as he climbed up the stairs, the door to the kitchen opened and Robin walked out, a smile on her face that only widened when she noticed Zoro. He had to wonder what that look in her eyes meant; he could never read her, could never tell what she was thinking.

Somehow, however, he felt assured after looking into her warm, blue eyes and he felt the corners of his mouth lifting up a little bit in response. He supposed he could take that as a good sign.

Nodding in thanks, Zoro quickly grabbed the door that Robin held open for him and slipped inside, scanning the room for Sanji. He wasn’t at the stove, instead sitting at the table with a mug in front of him, staring at the contents like he could find the All Blue in there if he tried hard enough. He didn’t notice Zoro coming in, probably assuming Robin was the one to close the door.

Zoro smirked to himself, taking the opportunity to quietly sneak up to Sanji. Standing right behind him, he leaned down until his nose was almost touching his hair, unwittingly noting to himself how gently the blond’s shampoo smelled, then, not wasting anymore time, he bit down on his earlobe.

The reaction was immediate. Sanji screamed in surprise, his hand flying out to grab at his ear while the chair clattered to the floor and his leg shot up in a kick, one that Zoro had expected and avoided easily. When Sanji realized his attacker was Zoro, he relaxed the slightest bit, though still keeping his leg in the air. “What the fuck, Marimo?” he growled and gave Zoro a dirty glare.

Unable—and unwilling—to stop himself, Zoro started laughing. Sanji’s scream and reaction was just too funny. “You looked so distracted, I thought I’d better wake you up before you float away.”

Sanji gave him a look. “Oh shut up,” he sighed, finally putting both feet on the floor and picking up the fallen chair. “What did you want?”

“So I can’t just come here without a reason?” Zoro bristled despite himself. Weren’t they supposed to be dating? Even if they did tend to fight a lot, it didn’t mean he didn’t enjoy the other man’s company. Wasn’t it the same for Sanji? Or did he only want to spend time with girls and not his boyfriend?

“So you don’t want anything? Not beer or food?” Sanji asked cocking his head to the side and regarding Zoro with such absolute confusion on his face. “I thought��” he suddenly stopped himself, not finishing his sentence and instead looking away.

But Zoro could imagine what he was going to say and he inhaled sharply. Did he honestly think that Zoro had to want something, that he never wanted to just talk to him? Frowning, Zoro thought back. It was true that whenever he came to the kitchen lately, he came in asking for booze or food but couldn’t Sanji tell that was just an excuse?

Could it be that they were both upset over the same thing…?

It was so ridiculous that Zoro had to laugh. They were both so stupid. Taking a step closer to Sanji, Zoro grabbed the other’s hand, giving him a crooked smile. “Can I kiss you?” he asked in a whisper.

Sanji’s eyes flickered down to Zoro’s lips before moving back up, looking Zoro straight in his eye and nodding the slightest bit, only a second before he closed the distance himself.

Zoro grinned into the kiss, putting his free hand on the cook’s hip and pushing him back until they hit the wall. Making use of Sanji’s gasp at the impact, Zoro let his tongue slip inside his mouth, relishing in the soft moan he got in response.

Usopp was right. They should probably both be more honest from now on.

—————

Dismissing the eye and ear she had left behind in the kitchen, Robin smiled to herself. Those two love sick idiots were truly ridiculous but so very cute.

“Looks like they are finally learning how to communicate,” she noted, leaning back and relaxing against the warm back behind her.

The owner of said back laughed, “That’s super to hear!”

“Indeed it is. Hopefully Sanji will stop worrying about being wanted now,” Robin agreed, chuckling quietly. It wasn’t like she minded listening to Sanji complain about Zoro not wanting to spend time with him but she was glad they seemed to be on the right path to figure out this misunderstanding.

“Does that mean my super archeologist will have more time to spend with me?” Franky asked, craning his head back to look at Robin.

She laughed, raising her hand to stroke the cyborg’s cheek. “Were you jealous, too?”

Franky grinned, kissing the palm of her hand before answering, “No, but I still want to have you to myself more.”

“You better not rush with finishing up this motorcycle, then,” she teased, dismissing the extra hands that had been holding up Franky’s drawn plans for his newest arsenal addition, causing the papers to flutter to the floor.

The kiss they shared a second later was long and gentle, both of them smiling despite the loud, metallic crash that followed after Franky let go of his motorcycle. At least they had an excuse to work on it longer.

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quillyfied · 4 years

Text

Mega Good Omens Fic Rec Post 4

I LIIIIIIIVE

99 titles on this list again and once again we have an extra category, and I am pumped that I finally got this one done! Got a lot of holiday overflow but suck it up bc here it comes. As a refresher, the categories are: Jaunts through History/Canon, South Downs, Post-Apocalypse, Bus Ride/Night Before/Heaven and Hell, AU/UA, Soft, Before (exclusive to this list and List 2, meaning takes place almost exclusively Before Canon, as in The Fall/Creation/etc), Touch-Starved/Body Worship/Wings, Bonus, and H/C /Whump/BAMF. Warnings for gore and explicit material present where applicable. I don’t read smut fics but sometimes more adult material sneaks in there.

Mega GOmens Fic Rec Post MASTER

PLEASE LET ME KNOW IF A LINK IS BROKEN OR IF I MISATTRIBUTED AN AUTHOR.

JAUNTS THROUGH HISTORY/CANON

1. You are a Call to Motion – @freyjawriter24 (G, the one where Aziraphale would like to dance but doesn’t. Very sweet and soft and kinda sad, follows Aziraphale through history wanting to dance (specifically with Crowley) until he finally gets to. The pining is so good, y’all.)

2. I love you because I know no other way than this – kriswithakay (T, the one where Aziraphale and Crowley use the excuse of being spectacularly drunk to get in little touches and kisses throughout history. This one is so sad and so full of yearning, the whole time you just wish they would face each other sober. It’s so quiet and beautiful.)

3. A Simple Thing – Sir_Bedevere (T, the one where Aziraphale gives out forehead kisses and Crowley is jelly about it. Continuing with the trend of being achingly sad and tender, this fic packs a wallop in that department. Forehead kisses aren’t always given at the happiest of times, after all. Also Crowley continues his stint as a pine tree and it’s painful.)

4. The Problem with Saints – Lurlur, D20Owlbear, robynthemagpie_writes, Wyvernquill (T and G, the series where it’s Catholic but funny. This series is weird and it’s hilarious and I hope there will be more, because this series goes through some fairly niche Catholic saint stories and the retelling of them featuring the Ineffable Husbands is hysterical. I don’t even want to tell y’all too much about it, just go read them and laugh with me, because they’re beautiful.)

5. When The Things You’ve Planned Need a Helping Hand – Proskenion (T, the one where Crowley and Aziraphale run into each other in the 1920s. Flapper!Crowley being a lounge singer is the centerpiece of this one, which is delightful enough, but throw in some canon-typical friction over the Arrangement and a chance for Aziraphale to come to the rescue, it’s a lovely little romp that has just the right edge of emotional tenderness to take the sting out of said earlier friction. Or add to it. Just depends on your point of view, really.)

6. The Serpent and the Lady – @summerofspock (T, the one where Aziraphale is Lady Fair and Crowley is competing in a tournament for his favor. Has female-presenting Aziraphale still using male pronouns bc that’s just what he’s comfortable with, and definitely, definitely has that Disney animated Robin Hood flavor. This fic scratches so many of my itches—Aziraphale in a dress, Crowley being a dashing BAMF, chivalric courtship, swordplay, armor, hand-sewn tokens of favor. A delicious little diversion, very worth it a++++.)

7. Sunlight and Water – @themoonmothwrites (M, the one where Aziraphale is a flirty drunk and Crowley has to be the sensible one. M for some racy elements but not explicit. This one is fun but then takes a direct left into Feels Town, which, when coupled with @cassieoh’s art, just makes the whole experience dreadfully unfair. A gorgeous little story, and the ending is just *chef’s kiss*.)

8. Sloth – libbyfay (T, the one where Aziraphale checks in on Crowley after the fourteenth century. This one is a delight, and includes Aziraphale recommending The Canterbury Tales, as well as a back-and-forth about depression versus Sloth and a lot of talking around feelings. Must absolutely be read in conjunction with the next rec in the list, which is something of a continuation. )

9. I have an aungel which that loveth me – HolRose (NR, the one where Crowley follows up on The Canterbury Tales recommendation from Aziraphale and it gets a bit deep. A continuation of the previous rec, and oof, y’all. This one gets hella sad, which hits pretty hard after Crowley laughing his head off about the funny bits in Canterbury Tales. There’s also Feelings, which are desperate and tender and guys they don’t even kiss but it’s still breathtaking. They love each other so much.)

10. (heaven is) a place on earth – rattatatosk (G, the one where Aziraphale nearly loses his bookshop. This takes place during the deleted scene from the 1800 opening of the bookshop, and has oodles of Aziraphale building himself a home and being devastated about nearly losing it. Not a nesting fic in the traditional sense (meaning it isn’t about building a home for himself and Crowley, it’s definitely just for him), but for fans of happy Aziraphale being fluffy and content in his bookshop, here you go.)

11. No other news to report – @argentconflagration (T, the one where Aziraphale is torn up about an assignment. Y’all want Crowley interfering in angelic plans? Y’all want tenderness and holding? Y’all want Aziraphale letting himself be bested? Then stay a while, because this one is a heart-wrecker. Featuring a very sick and very devout child, and female-presenting Crowley.)

12. These Things Were Here – @MajorEnglishEsquire (T, the one where Crowley resorts to snake form to deal with his feelings. This one is long and it’s emotional; Crowley reverts down to being a snake whenever he gets especially bad assignments from Hell, and it’s about him and Aziraphale finding balance and harmony between themselves when Crowley is like this. Very sweet and very tender and very sad.)

13. Crossing Paths – @amuseoffyre (G, the one where Crowley and Aziraphale meet every few years. This is your typical “through the ages” fic but it’s Fyre writing it, and that means it has so much humor and heart and history in it it’s practically like reading deleted scenes of the show. The boys are so in-character and their love is subtle and slow-boiling but there. Highly recommended, absolutely.)

14. apples (per the author’s intention) – @lwtis (T, the one where apples is a recurring theme in their friendship. This one is hilarious and it’s heartfelt and I quite enjoyed it; the bits where Aziraphale is absolutely convinced this is a temptation of some kind are particularly juicy (not unlike Crowley’s backside in a certain pair of trousers). Crowley absolutely knows how to beat a joke to death and he does it with style.)

SOUTH DOWNS

15. up in our bedroom, after the war – @rufeepeach (T, the one where Crowley and Aziraphale need to get away to process things. In this one, they more vacation to the South Downs rather than move there, but them working through the awkwardness of Armageddon’s fighting and gently taking their relationship to its natural conclusion is beautiful and good. It isn’t urgent or desperate, just quiet and understated and organic. A lovely piece.)

16. Somewhere Alive and Green – @thetunewillcome (T, the one where they make a necessary move. This one is quiet and reflective, as a good South Downs fic should be, and though it’s short I think it’s wonderfully healing. Very good.)

POST-APOCALYPSE

17. England’s pleasant pastures seen – @squidsticks (T, the one where Aziraphale has an appointment with a book collector and Crowley offers to drive. Y’all it’s so sweet and, dare I say, uplifting, how much they love each other. Someone drops the “husband” word at some point and someone else has a joyful fit over it and I bet you can tell who does what. There’s also a lot of teasing and the kind of easy banter that comes with knowing someone for so long. V. good.)

18. you have built nests from all my bark – @mutalune (T, the one where Crowley is nesting as an aggressive courting maneuver. This fic is so much fun. Highlights include Michael thinking Aziraphale must have a special connection with the Almighty and trying to emulate his lifestyle in order to have one herself, Crowley getting irrationally jealous over it all and constructing the finest nest known to reality (including cupholders, which I now also want in all my pillow piles), Dagon looking for a very similar thing from Crowley that Michael wants from Aziraphale, and lots of delicious humor and unexpected character interactions. I highly recommend this one if you’re having a bad day.)

19. Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance – @divisionten (T, the one where Crowley and Aziraphale find out how to get around Heaven and Hell and it’s through summons. More of an anthology than a solid story, and it’s such a fascinating universe, liberally layered with overcoming trust issues and adjusting to being in a loving relationship, and it’s Good Food y’all, trust me on this.)

20. That’s Not Funny – cyankelpie (G, the one where they’re exceptionally drunk and Crowley says I Love You and Aziraphale thinks he’s joking. This one is sharper than expected but it makes the moment where they finally have everything out in the open so much sweeter. Lots of protective Crowley and very confused Aziraphale.)

21. Stars – @lyricwritesprose (G, the series that’s a spinoff of Tales of the Them that’s about Crowley and the stars, ostensibly. It’s a spinoff bc it deals with Aziraphale’s point of view, too, and their careful navigation of a complicated subject in Crowley’s history. Very soft and bittersweet.)

22. In Action How Like an Angel – PinkPenguinParade (T/NR/M, the series where Aziraphale stumbles into making some useful wards and then Crowley gets taken. Rated high for safety but the violence is truly not that bad and the sex jokes are very mild. Come for cool worldbuilding, stay for BAMF!Aziraphale, and have some extra bits of Anathema and Newt being very good and helpful friends on top!)

23. Let’s share a drink! – @nohaijiachi (G, the one where Aziraphale gets horribly discorporated and gets his body back fairly quickly thanks to quick thinking and Gabriel being easy to gross out. This one is a bit gross, fair warning, but it’s not too graphic, and it’s hilarious besides. Peak Bastard Aziraphale Hours, this one is. If you like reading about Gabriel getting messed with, welcome to the party.)

24. Metastable – MrsCaufield (Not Rated, the one where Aziraphale is having an existential crisis post-Armageddon. Featuring lots of miscommunication, some mild jealousy, and Aziraphale figuring himself out, which is always lovely to read about. Misunderstandings and two supernatural beings being grossly in love, can’t get better than this!)

25. Taking Steps – @joyandotherstories (G, the one where Aziraphale decides he wants to take salsa dancing lessons and Crowley agrees. Oh, y’all. You like pining? You like awkward touching? Do you perhaps like…faked relationships turning into real relationships? You’d best have a seat and dive into this one, because the payoff is many-layered and just phenomenal. The pride in these idiots not only learning to dance but learning to be open about how much they love each other is so good.)

BUS RIDE/NIGHT BEFORE/HEAVEN AND HELL

26. Introspection and Starlight – d20owlbear (T, the one where Aziraphale has a breakdown and is hold. I seem to have a special taste for Aziraphale breaking down, and this one is Hecking Delicious—it’s a slow break but it’s so achingly tender and emotional, especially once sleepy Crowley gets on the scene. Apologies are made and two very tired beings just hold each other at the end of it all and it’s so good.)

27. The Longest Night – @charlottemadison42 (T, the series where Crowley and Aziraphale are taking slow and important steps. Three fics in the series so far, and each one captures their hilarious and effortless dynamic so well while still paying homage to their quiet love. There are so many cool details to explore, ESPECIALLY in the bodyswap fics, and overall they are a really fun and thoughtful look at how the Night the World Didn’t End could’ve gone. OH AND A FOURTH ONE HAS GONE UP WHILE I WAS WORKING ON THIS LIST and you guyssss so much good content about Crowley’s (Presumably) Foot Thing and Shoes, omg. A treasure.)

28. Last Confessions and Hopeless Loves – @girlwholovesherwords (G, the one where they very neatly and annoyingly slot into their new dynamic. This one is so matter-of-fact and tongue-in-cheek I about died laughing, which is amazing given that it’s less than 3k words. A very good little egg.)

29. Choose Your Faces Wisely – @cheeseandonioncrisps (G, the one where Crowley and Aziraphale set the record straight on how they portrayed each other. This is a fun one based on the very good meta bits floating around (which have been bolstered by Neil Gaiman’s commentary in the DVDs I will have you know) that their performances in each other’s skins is how they see each other and how different that is from how they see themselves and guys it’s so good, I wanted this conversation to last forever and ever.)

30. and I just want to love you, to love you, to love you well – BrinneyFriday (T, the one where apologies are made and kisses are had. Guys it’s so soft. Oh my gosh you guys the tenderness is unreal. There’s Crowley falling asleep in Aziraphale’s lap and there’s deciding they’re stronger together and guys pls it’s so good just read it pleASE—)

AU/UA

31. A Curious Case of Miracles on Marlborough Street – @nihilnovisubsole (M, the one where there might be such a thing as too much of a good thing. M for sexual humor and situations but nothing all that graphic. Y’all it’s the “angels accidentally cast miracles when they orgasm” crack given the serious treatment it deserves, and this fic also wins awards for its brilliant OC angel Sabrael, Keeper of Miracles. The icing on the cake? Beautiful artistic accompaniment to go along with the brilliant writing. Just delightful, a whole entire treat. An afternoon delight indeed.)

32. Too Much of a Good Thing – @yamisnuffles (G, T, the series where Crowley and Aziraphale are both angels and things are a bit different. It’s not fair that yamisnuffles is a distinctive and wonderful artist, they have to be a good writer, too, and be terribly talented at telling a good story. Crowley’s character arc and emotional growth as a disgraced angel cursed to live as a snake for a while is fabulous, and it’s only ramping up, so jump on the train now! It’s a good train!)

33. Measures of Freedom – KazLangston (T, the one where Crowley is an acquisition made by one Mr. AZ Fell. This is one of those “turn left” AUs where they’re still an angel and a demon, they just didn’t meet in Eden. Instead, they meet because Crowley gets himself captured and Aziraphale doesn’t think it’s safe to let a real, dangerous demon loose. Their relationship is very combative and antagonistic but it softens; the emotional journey they go on from clear enemies to clear friends is fantastic.)

34. Somewhere Down Below – jane_with_a_j (T, the series where Aziraphale is captured as an incentive for Crowley to jump masters in Hell. There’s lots of hurt!Aziraphale in this one, as tends to happen to an angel captive in Hell, and an excruciating amount of pining that doesn’t so much counterbalance the angst so much as spice it up enormously. There’s intrigue, there’s a daring escape, it’s radical, folks.)

35. How it Happens – @captainqueernerd (T, the one that’s based on a comic and both are DELIGHTFUL. The fic here is an extension of the comic and so sweet, oh my goodness how sweet it is. The best bits aren’t even when they cover the comic’s events—it’s AFTER that is the real treat. I’ll hand out brownie points to anyone who can find the sentence that made me put down my laptop before I accidentally chucked it while laughing too hard.)

36. mors certissima – @northerntrash (T, the Hades and Persephone AU where Aziraphale is Hades and Crowley is Persephone and they’re all doing their best. This is a super fun one, beautifully written and lovely original lore that has Aziraphale really coming into his own as a god of death and what that means for the wider pantheon and the world. And IT’S ABOUT TO GO DOWN where the fic is at the moment, I’m pumped for the conclusion!)

37. It’s All Greek to Me (that is, Ineffable) – @ulspi (UR, the series where Crowley and Aziraphale are cast in different mythological roles in each fic. This one’s gorgeous, you guys, haunting and romantic and each fic has a distinct flavor that is impossibly good. A beautiful way to spend a rainy afternoon, in my opinion.)

38. The Princess and the Serpent – @longforgottenhymn (G, the one where Aziraphale takes Crowley to King Arthur’s court to get a nobleman off his back and oh no, fake dating becomes real dating, oh no. You think you’re ready for this fic? FOOL. This fic is going to carve you up from the inside out and you won’t even be READY for it even if you know it’s coming. This fic is going to promise intimacy and deliver in terrible, terrible tenderness. I am being melodramatic but THIS FIC. THIS FIC IS SO GOOD. This fic is not what I was expecting and it hits HARD because of that.)

39. Wicked dance – pirripipi (T, the one that’s a royal AU with incredible depth and complexity. Listen, what this fic might lack in polish it more than makes up for in flat-out interesting worldbuilding. The characterization is on point and the nonlinear storytelling is very well-handled. And that ending! So triumphant, so utterly joyful. What a joy this fic is! Just wait until you see the Garden of Eden, it’s SPECTACULAR.)

40. The sun doesn’t set on the shoreline – VinWrit (G, the one that’s a selkie and siren AU. This one feels more like it’s being told in microfiction installments and that’s certainly interesting on its own, but it reads like a horror story and it’s chock full of worldbuilding, and the characterization of Crowley especially just breaks my heart right in two. What a great little story.)

41. An Angel’s Hope – @braver-stronger-smarter (M, the one that’s a crossover with the Kiesha’ra book series by Amelia Atwater-Rhodes and it’s delicious AF. Not sure why it’s rated M, but it does deal with a war and the fallout of dealing with constant violence and death. Explains things well enough that you don’t need to have read the Kiesha’ra to understand what’s going on (or, like, if it’s been well over a decade since you last read it…), and the integration of Crowley and Aziraphale into the main plot of these shapeshifter snake and bird cultures is effortless. Can’t wait to see where this one goes (bc even if it just follows the plot of Hawksong, it’s sure to be an exciting ride). (Side note, read the Kiesha’ra, it’s a good series.))

42. By Grace – @seaskystone (G, the one that’s the little soulmate AU that could. Not very long but still highly impactful in my opinion, featuring Crowley and Aziraphale meeting in heaven and knowing right away they’re meant for each other, but canon still happens as it does. Short and bittersweet and pretty.)

43. The Ones Who Walk Away from Nevaeh – @soft-october-night (T, the one that’s the “The Ones Who Walk Away from Omelas” AU none of us ever even knew we needed but heck if we didn’t get it anyway. If you aren’t familiar, “Omelas” is a short story by Ursula K LeGuin that I absolutely believe you must read in order to get the full impact of this and what the author does with the story with regard to our two boys, it’s earth-shattering. Soft-october-night does it again, just goes and makes outstanding AUs that own my entire soul like it ain’t no thing. Completely unfair.)

44. Take the Fall (What’s a Second Time) – @triffidsandcuckoos (T, the one where Crawly does what it says on the tin. This one includes a nice helping of Crowley suffering from chronic pain as a consequence of taking the blame for the apple business, and some sweet care from Aziraphale, who is well aware it’s his fault. An interesting take and a heartwarming story (even if suffering from chronic pain is the pits and there’s no way around that).)

45. forgotten (but not gone) – @writeonclara (T, the one where their memories are taken and Crowley and Aziraphale still manage to stay away from each other for about .04 seconds. This one has some hard edges and it is a harrowing story about accepting others and yourself, and having faith in yourself and your loved one, but the way they can’t keep their hands to themselves when all the stops are pulled out is frankly hilarious and I commend this story whole-heartedly for committing to that.)

46. It’s Not the Years, it’s the Mileage – @moveslikebucky (T, the one that’s an Indiana Jones AU based on @yamisnuffles’ art. You want Aziraphale doing his best in an Indy role while still being an angel? You want Crowley owning a bar and it DOESN’T suck? You want pining and heartache and hilarity? Park it, then, folks, you don’t even need to know the Indiana Jones films to enjoy it (I certainly don’t and I am aware of this failing, thank you).)

47. or the look or the words – @taizi (T, the one where they just keep getting married and it doesn’t stop from happening. Guys they are literally married HUNDREDS OF TIMES throughout history STARTING AT THE ARK. They are literally so soft and so in love and I am beside myself right now, please love yourself and practice some self-care by reading this fic.)

48. Give me a title, I’ll give you my heart – @nohaijiachi (T, the one that’s a human AU based on fanart and it’s great. Single dad Aziraphale with a cautious past, determined son Adam who is gonna get his dad a date if it’s the last thing he does, utterly besotted Crowley who is excellent at being gentle and also a great beta reader…a surprisingly emotional and fun piece, very good.)

49. what if you fall? oh, but my darling, what if i fly? – Doggoos (T, the one where they loved in Heaven and outside interference tore them apart. I LOST THIS FIC AND SPENT FOREVER TRYING TO FIND IT AGAIN. The one detail that kept me going? Crowley (as Raphael) and Aziraphale exchange jewelry before Gabriel sticks his stupid nose in it and the jewelry is visually stunning and emotionally gorgeous. It’s emotional and it’s fraught and there’s erased memories to contend with but holy COW, y’all. They’re so in love.)

50. Snakes and Stones (the Crowley/Aziraphale Human AU) – @deerstalkerdeathfrisbee (G, the series where it’s exactly what it says it is. The opening fic for this series is where literally everyone in Aziraphale’s dorm thinks his boyfriend is made up and Aziraphale has the enormous pleasure of proving them all wrong. It has great Newt characterization and, surprisingly, Gabriel being likeable, though he has to work for it. It’s fun and a little silly and I adore it.)

51. in the arms of the ocean (so sweet and so cold) – robynthemagpie_writes, agent_of_mischief (T, the one where Aziraphale becomes a lighthouse keeper and Crowley is probably a sea monster. This is a horror story and it’s a love story and while reading it kept me awake at night, thinking about it also kept me very much awake at night. I am the world’s biggest chicken and the spoop is real, friends, but more than that, it’s the horrors lurking in Aziraphale’s past (and probably Crowley’s, I have some theories) that are the heartbreaking bit. Not for the faint-hearted, it goes hard and I have a feeling it’s only going to go harder.)

52. i’ve found a way (a way to make you smile) – @fremulon (T, the one that’s an AU of The Office. Requires no knowledge of The Office but I’m sure it helps. This is one I kept putting off and deeply regret doing so (though, on the other hand, waiting so long to read it meant that I caught up the night before the last chapter went up, so HA). Y’all, it’s so funny and so relatable as an adult stuck in a dead-end job I don’t like, and the romance between Aziraphale and Crowley is so simple and so sweet. I just love it and I love this fic and I want you to read it immediately right now.)

53. I Know Places We Won’t Be Found – FangsScalesSkin (T, the one where Crowley and Aziraphale run away together from the Garden of Eden. I have been waiting for someone to write this forever and it’s finally happening. And it’s got such fun worldbuilding, and their interactions are so cute, and I just love them and want them to be okay and to be married forever and ever.)

54. an imitation of the garden of eden – @dyslexiccrowley (T, the one that’s a D&D-inspired AU. Speaking of AUs that come out of hecking nowhere, here’s one! This one is a really fun adventure, and if you thought me turning the Bentley into a horse in several of my fics was fun, this one beats me out by a country mile and I couldn’t be more gleeful about it because THE BENTLEY IS A DRAGON. I could deffo see the dnd elements throughout but the flavor of it is so unique, I thoroughly enjoyed the adventure and the character moments.)

55. Hell is Just a Sauna – @anthonyjcrowiey (T, the one that’s a “Ten Things I Hate About You” AU. I haven’t seen the film (though I have read Taming of the Shrew and I have been on Tumblr long enough to absorb several gifsets), but this fic was still so good and managed to hook me right in regardless of that fact. I can’t wait for it to finish up, we’re on the emotional crux of the plot and it’s tearing me up how it’s been left!)

56. be mine tonight (be mine forever) – @qorktrees (T, the one that’s a literal “fake dating becomes real dating” AU. Human AU, and these idiots I SWEAR. Aziraphale needs a date for the office Christmas party, Crowley is available and bribable, and of course it ends in their ruse becoming the real deal, this is fanfiction for crying out loud. It happens so sweetly, though, you’ve gotta see this.)

57. Changes in Latitudes, Changes in Attitudes – @gigglesnortbangdead (T, the one where Heaven and Hell turn enemies into children instead of smiting. Oh, goodness gracious y��all are not ready for this one. You aren’t ready for the way being turned into a child affects an angel or a demon. You aren’t ready for the myriad ways bb!Crowley is gonna tug at your heartstrings. You aren’t ready for the way Aziraphale is when it finally happens to him. You AREN’T READY. This is precisely why you should go read it right now immediately, to see just how unready you really are. You should take care of that at this exact moment.)

58. Ineffably Yours – SecondHandNews (M, the series where Crowley and Aziraphale choose each other and keep choosing each other. Listen to me: this series is the length of several novels. I have only read the first one, after stumbling on a side-story that was really good and not realizing it was a side-story of a bigger series until I’d finished it. I am planning on reading the rest of the series, which is still updating. I am a little terrified at this titan who has managed to write over 360K words since June in this one series alone. The first one absolutely had me biting my nails and rocking back and forth in an anxious haze, and it’s so tender and so beautiful and SO NERVE-WRACKING. Crowley and Aziraphale learn the Rapture is coming and they just…kinda snap, really. Stop avoiding each other, start choosing each other, and all the twists and turns that comes with it. Just. Really outstanding work, I am an anxious mess but it’s good XD)

JUST SOFT

59. Where to Start – @freyjawriter24 (T, the one where Crowley nearly kisses Aziraphale throughout history like A LOT. Guys you wanna feel the pine crushing into your soul? You want to feel that deep ache of wanting to touch so badly but holding back out of sheer desperate force of will? Read this, prepare to have your knees appropriately weakened from the longing.)

60. A Softer Fall – @themoonmothwrites (T, the one that’s the wall shoving but soft. Bury me in this one, boys, my corpse will rest well for eternity, because holy COW the longing and the fear and the reassurances…my heart is a marshmallow now and it’s this fic’s fault.)

61. for the dancing and the dreaming – @une-danse-macabre (G, the one where Aziraphale proposes. Listen I know this entire section of the post is for Soft Fic but this is Softe Fic and I am not joking even a little bit. Crowley desperately deflecting using humor bc he is so overwhelmed? It’s more likely than you think. Read this, it’s a beautiful little shot of humor and romance.)

62. in candlelight, we dance – SaerM (T, the one where they take a shower together. I have a deep and abiding weakness for bathing fic, and even better, it’s not a sex fic! Just two ineffable partners being tender and washing each other and being together. So sweet and good.)

63. A Pile of Pillows – @waffleironbiddingwar (T, the one where Aziraphale seems to have built a nest during a weekend apart. There’s a few cute nesting fics in this here post but this is one of my very favorites; even has some wing grooming, and lots of teasing and kissing. Very cute!)

64. When the Wind Changes – Star_less (G, the one where Crowley makes faces at babies. Listen. LISTEN. You don’t have to personally like kids to go all gooey over how much Crowley seems to like kids, entirely without meaning to. It’s too cute. Someone call the Cute Police.)

65. with adorations, with fertile tears – waywarder (T, the one where there’s an emotional meltdown while watching a high school production of Twelfth Night. So sweet and unsure and awkward, this one; it’s canon-verse, Aziraphale just drags Crowley to a high school production and then proceeds to very nearly have an angelic aneurysm over trying to hold his hand. If you’ve a soft spot for the Ineffable Husbands quoting Shakespeare at each other, welcome to the party, you’ve arrived.)

66. Sleeping Angel – @whatawriterwields (G, the one where Aziraphale is asleep on Crowley’s chest. It should be noted that this writer wields tenderness like a weapon, stiletto right between the ribs to knock all that breath right out of you, which is a much more gruesome descriptor than I probably should’ve used but YOU GUYS CROWLEY TALKS TO AZIRAPHALE IN HIS SLEEP AND IT’S SO SWEET AND I CAN’T BREATHE.)

67. in so many words – @asideofourown (G, the one where Aziraphale has trouble saying “I love you.” This one made me laugh and “aww” in equal measure, but to get you to click on the link and read as fast as I did, Aziraphale says “thank you” the first time Crowley says “I love you” and I DIED.)

68. A First Christmas, Once Again – lalaland666 (G, the one where Crowley and Aziraphale get to celebrate Christmas together. This one has a fun twist on why Aziraphale dislikes the holidays and a really cute Crowley getting excited for them, and I think it’s well worth reading whether or not you find the December holiday season celebratory or not.)

69. (i love you) as you are – @asideofourown (T, the one where Crowley tries to change to be more like Aziraphale in order to keep him and it’s heartbreaking. Listen, this writer is great and more often than not draws me in bc the dialogue is so good, but this one just crushed my heart into pieces, because Crowley is trying SO HARD and he doesn’t have to but doesn’t realize that he doesn’t have to and AUGH.)

70. the commendation – @forineffablereasons (G, the one where Aziraphale’s ring is itself a commendation from Heaven. This one is short and sweet but it GUTS me every time, just over Aziraphale and how much Heaven screwed him over and failed him by making him feel like the failure. Something this short should not hurt me so much AND YET. Crowley makes it better. Obviously.)

71. the other way round – @forineffablereasons (G, the one where Aziraphale lays in Crowley’s lap instead. Listen we all love it when Crowley puts his head in Aziraphale’s lap but this writer has the right of it, we don’t see it nearly enough the other way round and HHHHGK. The tenderness. The softness. It BURNS.)

72. Every Song in Every Key – @impishtubist (T, the one with the seriously misleading summary. I mean this in the best possible way. Crowley being the one to enjoy the holidays is fun enough, but the true meat of this fic came out of nowhere and it hit me square in the squishy bits. One of the tags is “kid fic” for a little bit of a hint but I shan’t spoil it for you, just go read about Crowley being soft.)

73. shed a sweet light – @areyougonnabe (T, the one that’s not anti-holiday so much as a non-holiday holiday fic. That was probably confusing for you BUT IN ESSENCE: Aziraphale has been around too long to get too attached to any particular holiday (plus time passes so differently when you’re immortal), and attracts the ire of holiday influencers. It gets surprisingly dire, and then delightfully Jewish. Has the exact heart that every holiday story hopes for: quiet, enduring love amidst the chaos. A beautiful little thing.)

BEFORE

74. Unexpected Variables – @seaskystone (T, the one where God keeps having to reset the universe. Hands-down the most hilarious fic on the list just by virtue of God’s impending migraine in dealing with Crowley and Aziraphale, who are so incompetent and I love them so much.)

75. Astralphysiastrics – @wortlby2 (T, the one where Crowley and Aziraphale finally talk about Before. This one’s “Before” elements take place in flashbacks but given that they’re a pretty significant portion of the fic, I put it in this category anyway. Guys this one HURTS, but there’s healing in it, too, which is a beautiful balance. Ends nice and fluffy, which is a good landing after the flashbacks are done tossing you about.)

TOUCH-STARVED/BODY WORSHIP/WINGS

76. To Preen a Songbird – @tiger-in-the-flightdeck (T, the one that’s just some good old-fashioned preening, y’all. Prepare for these idiots being silly and bantering and teasing, because the back-and-forth is so good. SO good. So very, very good.)

77. Life Hurts (But Not With You) – Spider_Lilly (T, the series that’s about Aziraphale letting Crowley preen him. This one takes a pretty serious turn and talks about what happens to angels with slightly more realistic-type wings who don’t have help preening. Fair warning, there’s a bit of grossness with impacted preen glands (which are oil glands) and if you are squeamish I would tread carefully, bc it can get a bit disturbing when Crowley has to help deal with them, but if you like realistic wing care, this is the series for you. Also love. Also pining. Also they’re kind of the same story from different perspectives and the one from Aziraphale’s perspective is SO MUCH WORSE EMOTIONALLY. A good bit of catharsis fic, for sure.)

78. Descent Suspension – @onheil-ferguson (M, the one where Crowley could use some tying up. M for shibari but it’s nonsexual. Book!verse. I apparently have a thing for nonsexual BDSM and bondage, because this fic absolutely took my breath away. It’s very calm and understated and dignified, just feels quiet. A beautiful piece, for sure.)

79. The End (of the Beginning) or A Not-So-Nice or Accurate Guide to Sex on a Stick, By Anthony J. Crowley, Demon. – @fantasticallyobscure (T, the one where Crowley has been trying sex with all the wrong people. Not explicit at all, just has a lot of discussions about sex, which can be off-putting but now you know going in (if the title didn’t give it away). Basically Crowley keeps trying sex with people who have his same physical build and loses his appetite for it, until he and Aziraphale finally get their heads on straight and Aziraphale wants to try it. Some hilarious metaphors and a lot of adorable Aziraphale being jealous, which is a trip. A wonderful little romp, for sure!)

80. You Are Unbreaking (Though Quaking) – @lesbianscrowleys (T, the one where Aziraphale works through his knee-jerk reactions to being touched. A very good little snapshot of healing and working through things while communicating with your partner, and there’s a fun side-story about accepting who you are that underscores the main theme rather well. Crowley is so good and patient and Aziraphale is trying so hard.)

81. A Treatise Concerning Religious Affectations – forthegreatergood (T, the one where there are discussions of religious ecstasy versus regular ecstasy. This one involves more or less orgasming via manipulation of miraculous brain chemistry, and it’s a little bit funky, but you get in the vibe of the fic pretty quickly, I think, the writer is good about setting the tone. And it’s adversarial as all heck, this is a legitimate disagreement Crowley and Aziraphale are having and you feel every weighty second of it. It’s sensual, I think, but not necessarily erotic, and that’s a hard needle to thread and they do it very well.)

82. 451°F – @purple-suits (G, the one after the church bombing where Aziraphale wants so badly it hurts. Guys, oh you guys, the pure need in this one isn’t even really sexual but it HURTS, it is so physical and raw and achey. It absolutely put about five more aches under my skin just from secondhand need. Oh, y’all. Oh beans.)

BONUS

83. Chaos Theory – @themoonmothwrites (T, the series that’s about Adam hitting on Warlock in a bar and then reintroducing him to his old nanny and gardener. This one is 1. prime Adam/Warlock material, and 2. PRIME Warlock/facing his feelings and confronting his past and figuring out his future material. I have the weakest spot possible for Warlock Dowling and this one hits that spot like a LOT.)

84. Through the branches there’s a son that’s always shone – @jessicafish (G, the one with a contented Warlock. This one is a Halloween fic that has the softest Warlock and Crowley interaction of all time, it’s so short but it hits so hard and I must thank it for my life, really.)

85. Love, And Its Interference With The Nature of Reality – @souljellied (M, the one where Adam has a big ole crush and reality is warping for Warlock. M for some saucy makeouts at the start but it’s pretty tame. Guys if the fact that at one point the headlines in a news stand all read “TOP TEN REASONS TO DATE ADAM YOUNG” before Warlock blinks and they all change back to normal isn’t a good enough reason to read this fic then I don’t know what to tell you, it’s so delightfully tongue-in-cheek about Adam’s effect on reality and so funny and so sweet, even if it does end on a note that makes me howl for wanting a continuation.)

86. Slumber Party Summons and Aftereffects – @joyandotherstories (G, the series where Crowley gets summoned by a party of teenage girls and has a very heartfelt, productive evening with them. I dragged my feet on this story for incomprehensible reasons so DON’T YOU MAKE MY MISTAKES. The teenage girls who summon Crowley are so sweet and loveable, each and every one of them, and guys they ship Crowley and Aziraphale so hard when they finally pry Crowley’s life story out of him, with help from some memory projection witchery. It’s so good, y’all, so cute and so fresh. Just the best.)

87. Christmas Delivery – Daegaer (G, the one where Gabriel sends obnoxious Christmas cards and they are the highlight of Heaven’s holiday (to make merciless fun of). It should be noted that these Christmas cards all feature artistic renderings of Gabriel himself. I about died laughing and it’s canon now in my heart. I should not be endeared to the Archangels but here we are.)

88. and i don’t care if you don’t want me (i’m yours anyhow) – shaekspeares (T, the one where Warlock is figuring himself out at uni. This one is complex and deadpan and has such a good representation of Warlock and what he could grow to be, plus that excellent Warlock/Adam content I am always here for and Warlock having a complete meltdown over the idea that his former nanny and gardener were sent by his parents to spy on him, but not that they’re an angel and a demon. This kid has his priorities in order. Well, no, he doesn’t, but it’s fun to watch him get there. And he and Adam have the best dynamic ever, it’s full of friction and no small amount of adversarial energy turning sweet over time. This fic is physically healing to read and we aren’t even done yet. A fantastic addition to the fandom, if just for what Warlock does to the British equivalent of the Young Republican student body.)

89. Demonology and the Tri-Phasic Model of Trauma: An Integrative Approach – Nnm (T, the one where Crowley gets a therapist. I know most of you should know this, or at least have heard of it, but pipe down bc I finally got around to reading it and it’s AMAZING. If you’re a human who’s gone to a good therapist or who needs to, this story’s protagonist is phenomenal. And she’s not static in her own journey, either, she grows and heals along with Crowley, and it’s not linear or clean or simple. Like real life, it has dips and turns and bad patches, but the healing is palpable. A masterwork, truly, just real dadgum good, y’all.)

H/C /WHUMP/BAMF

90. I Don’t Want the World to See Me – @coulson-is-an-avenger (T, the one where they navigate an unexpected boundary concerning Crowley’s glasses. People who flinch every time they read about Aziraphale taking off Crowley’s glasses without permission rejoice: we have a fix-it fic for you. It’s tender in every sense of the word, and shows great boundary communication (y’know after the immediate scare is over), and all around is incredibly worth the read.)

91. Still Waking Up – @sleepymccoy (T, the one that’s trauma recovery with lots of bed-sharing and pining. Friendos if you want to feel every inch of that slow burn, you’ve arrived. This fic is careful and it’s emotionally ragged-edged and it’s just so dang pretty as Crowley and Aziraphale work through their separate issues and come to terms with what it means to them to be together with each other.)

92. Borrowed Scars – dreamsofspike (M, the one where Aziraphale finds out what Crowley goes through when he’s in Hell. M for implied/referenced rape and onscreen torture (and like some heavy petting that gets interrupted by feels). This one’s heavy, y’all, heavier than my usual fare, bc Aziraphale is in Hell wearing Crowley’s body when he finds this out so it’s pretty firsthand. Most of the bad bits are told in flashbacks but there’s also the healing part where Crowley finds out and he and Aziraphale have to have a heart-to-heart about what happened and how it’s never going to happen again. Drags you through the mud but then sets you back on your feet, a very good little number, I thought.)

93. Surviving Hell – @whatawriterwields (T, the series where Crowley’s coping mechanism is to shut down and then that coping mechanism becomes maladaptive in the new world. If you’re like me, you’re used to this writer writing the fluffiest creations known to man, so this foray into deeper territory socks like a cannonball right in the gut. Crowley’s healing process is long and it’s slow, with so much aching tender care from Aziraphale it is physically painful in a way. Can’t wait for it to update, I am INVESTED.)

94. Easier than Air – @a-candle-for-sherlock (G, the one where Aziraphale finally deals with stuff. This is a collection of panic attacks, as a warning; Aziraphale’s entire six-thousand-year life is catching up to him, living under Heaven’s eye and knowing he doesn’t measure up, still trying to be with Crowley even though knowing the danger…it’s a lot on a person, and it all kinda comes crashing down after Armageddon’t. Crowley takes care of him, talks and holds him through it all, and it’s so sweet, so freeing to vicariously fall apart through Aziraphale and be held through it by Crowley. Just. Augh.)

95. So Still I Wait – HotCrossPigeon (T, the one where Heaven locks Aziraphale in a void, basically, for three months, and then dump him back on earth for Crowley to pick up the pieces. Guys this one is part of a “hurt Aziraphale” series and it delivers. Aziraphale is his usual soft, silly self all throughout and that makes it hurt worse when he’s suffering, and downright agonizing when he’s trying to recover. Heaven is horrible to him throughout, and Crowley is so gentle and scared, and honestly I don’t know how I didn’t just keel over while reading it. This takes touch-starved to an extreme that booted it from the Touch-Starved category and into this one, because WOW. WOW.)

96. Flaming Like Anything – @thepoetoftime (NR, the one where any weapon Aziraphale holds flames. This one isn’t silly, exactly, but it is hilarious watching Aziraphale flame things like a stick and an umbrella and then absolutely CREAM his foes with them. Never stood a chance, poor souls. A wonderful read, with a surprising twist near the end I highly recommend savoring, it’s too good a mental image.)

97. Love Seeketh Not Itself to Please – @dietraumerei (T, the one where Aziraphale is hurt by a summoning and Crowley takes him to Heaven for healing. This one hurts on so many levels I don’t know where to begin. There’s the physical hurt—obviously—but then there’s the tension of our favorite reprobates being back in Heaven, and a moment where the rug is pulled that is disorienting and just…hateful, absolutely hateful, but in the weirdest, most relieving way. I cannot explain this to you, you must read it. And then sweet, sweet aftercare, because of course. I wouldn’t recommend it to you if there wasn’t any comfort in it, and this writer in particular has historically done excellently with the comfort aspect; this is certainly no different. It absolutely tickled my fancy.)

98. Cry for Absolution – forthegreatergood (T, the one where a miscommunication causes six thousand years of touch avoidance. Guys. GUYS. Crowley thinks his touch hurts Aziraphale and you know what it actually does? It actually hurts ME, personally, watching Crowley misread Aziraphale’s little gasps and flinches as pain rather than shock. Then they fight about it, and things resolve, but HHHNG. THAT PINING. THAT TOUCH-STARVED LONGING.)

99. White Walls and Dead Air – BabyHoldMyFlower (G, the one where Crowley has to physically take Aziraphale away from the plague. This one lands in this category rather than in the Body Worship/Touch-Starved/Wings category is the sheer (DESERVED) emotional vitriol Aziraphale has bottled up in him, the anger at God and Heaven, and how ragged he is from trying to stay ahead of the plague but just not being able to. Crowley helps, because of course he does, but this fic is the emotional equivalent of being put through a wringer. It’s exhausting and it’s beautiful.)

#good omens #good omens fic recs #mega gomens fic rec list #i guess i'm just gonna keep making these until i die #or until my gomens interest wanes #whichever comes first #phew what a big baby this post is

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argentnoelle · 4 years

Text

Bring Down the House

[batjokes AU based on the “white knight” comic. chapter one: in which Joker almost kills Robin, & reconsiders his life choices] read on ao3

“What are you doing?”

“What does it look like I’m doing, Harley?” Joker growled. “I’m killing Robin.”

He didn’t know why she was so upset. They’d killed people before. Granted—not as many as the public believed. And never like this. Never in the cold, dank underground below the kitchen steps, where the bare bulb creaked overhead. Never Robin. But what could he say? The kid had literally stumbled into his lap. He’d taunted him, at first. Tried to think of what to do with the brat, to stick it to Batman. What would make the funniest joke.

But somehow, every death-trap, every pun, circled sourly in the pit in his stomach. He’d tied him up down here just to keep him still until… until… he didn’t know what. But the more he talked, the angrier he got. At first the Robin had taunted him, and then begged, and then became stubbornly silent.

None of it was funny.

I know, Joker thought. I want to find out Batman’s secret identity. That’ll do.

Surely, Batman being betrayed by his very own kid would be a killer.

Too bad there was junk in the basement. A few crumbled down bricks that did better striking it in the arms, and then a rusty old pipe that looked just peachy when it swung down, casting up sprays of blood. Joker began to giggle. Everything seemed just right, as long as he could keep moving, stop thinking, stop hearing that whiny kid’s voice telling him that he trusted Batman, that Batman would come save him, that Batman loved him.

Loved him?

But the pipe broke, and so he kicked it into the wall. There was silence, for a long moment; Joker staring straight ahead, fists clenched, mouth turned down, and the kid staring back at him behind his mask. It just. It just wasn’t funny.

So he felt around in his pockets and took out a switchblade. Maybe, just maybe, if he could get a spark of real terror, it would be enough to… keep this from spiraling out of control. Make something make sense again.

He didn’t actually mean to kill him.

He didn’t think he meant to kill him.

But Harley seemed to think he did, and Harley knew him better than anybody (except Batman), didn’t she?

“Killing a kid? Torturing him like this… oh my god… what were you thinking. What were you thinking?”

“I wasn’t going to kill him,” Joker said, doubtfully. She had him up against the wall. Had grabbed the switchblade from his hand, pushed him back so hard it sent a slam of pain through his back up to his shoulderblades.

“Yeah? You weren’t going to kill him?” Harley shouted. “That’s not what you said a minute ago.”

“Well, I…” Joker hedged.

“Why? Why’d you do it? Why’d you hurt him?”

“I just wanted to know Batman’s secret identity,” Joker mumbled, into his shirt. That was reasonable, wasn’t it? He knew how to be reasonable. He was good at that.

“Oh yeah? Oh, oh of course. Batman. It’s always been Batman with you, huh? But I don’t think you wanted to know what’s under the mask, heck no; you coulda just taken off the kid’s mask and done the math. It’s something else isn’t it,” Harley said. “Answer me!”

Joker’s eyes slip-slid around the dingy basement, his gaze getting caught on Harley’s shadow spinning around the wall. She didn’t usually yell at him like this. Actually… she never yelled at him like this. Not like this.

The sinking feeling got bigger. The adrenaline surge pulling back like a fist, leaving him shaking.

“Jack!” she said, eyes narrowed.

He blinked at her once, resentfully. “There’s no need to bring him into this, my dear.”

She actually slapped him then. Keeping the switchblade in her other hand.

“Damn you, Joker, you didn’t want to know his identity. Tell me what you want.”

“I just…”

“You were jealous of him, weren’t you?” Harley spat. “Oh yeah, no one can be closer to the Bat than you are, right? Come on, tell me I’m right!”

“So what if you are?” Joker hissed. “We had a deal, Bats and I. An understanding. And now he wants to bring in outsiders…” he brought his hands up, slowly, to Harley’s wrists, slowly pushed her off him, talking all the while. “This Robin. What does he have that I don’t? Is it the shorts?”

Harley stepped back, chest heaving; he could see the tears glittering in her eyes, which were wide and dark. “I don’t know you anymore,” she said. She stepped back again, and again, holding the bloody blade in front of her like she was warding him off with it. She stepped backward up the stairs, staring him down all the while.

And then she was gone.

Joker looked around. “That’s it?” He laughed a little, clutching his stomach. “Ha-ha-HAHAHA—heh. Oh kid, that’s a good one, ain’t it. She didn’t even bother to free you.”

He sat down, unable to keep on his feet any longer, wiping his eyes, which had begun to tear from laughter. “Ahh. Where were we? I think you were about to tell me something…”

The kid stared back, looking lost. Some weight seemed to have settled on his shoulders, the world seemed to drift in soft-focus. Then Robin blinked, and a tear slid down his cheek. He cried, and Joker laughed; wishing that he couldn’t feel the tears on his own skin.

What a joke!

“I wish…” Robin croaked, at last.

“That you were rescued?” Joker said. “Join the club! I wish that every day but it doesn’t change a thing does it?”

“I wish…” Robin repeated, his mouth a flat line.

Joker stopped laughing, and murmured, “that I would go to hell? I’d wish that if I were you.”

“I wish that I’d never met Bruce Wayne,” Robin said.

Joker’s mouth parted. “Huh?” He got up, sidling back toward the kid, who flinched as he came near. “I’m sorry, did you say Bruce Wayne? Batman is Bruce Wayne? That’s … actually that makes sense. Okay.”

“So kill me, then,” the kid spat. “Get it over with.”

The kid. What was his name? That little thing that Brucie had adopted recently. A-ha. “Jason Todd. That’s you, isn’t it.”

No answer, but Joker knew he was right.

“Ah… ahh. Well. I have what I want. Why should I kill you? No, I’m letting you go. Crawl back to daddy, why should I care?” He untied the ropes with a vicious jerk.

Suddenly Jason laughed harshly, almost choking on it. “Go back?” he said, wildly. “After I gave him up like this, betrayed him to you? How can I? He’d never trust me again.”

“I do see how that would be a problem,” Joker said, holding the coils of rope in his hand. “Listen… kid… why don’t you solve both our problems, and… just leave.”

Robin stood up, and stumbled; Joker caught his arm and had to duck from a swinging punch. “Hey now, I’m not trying to hurt you anymore.”

“What do you mean, just leave,” Jason said, thickly.

They staggered up the creaking staircase like two drunks, clutching at each other for balance.

“Just leave! Start a new life. It wouldn’t be hard. Here, I’ll even give you money.” Joker pulled a briefcase from the corner, threw in a bunch of his own clothes and three rolls of cash. “And I’ll never bother you again. It’ll be like you’re dead.”

Jason stared down at the briefcase, holding onto the lip of the door for support. His eyes were wide, and scared.

“It’s not like you have anything to lose,” Joker wheedled.

Jason grabbed the briefcase.

“If I see you again, clown…” he said. “I’ll kill you.”

“I’ll look forward to it!” Joker said, with a bright smile. He handed Jason his coat.

Jason stared at it for a long moment, the thick purple weight of it, then off into the dark emptiness of Gotham’s streets. He looked back down at his blood-splattered costume and the bruises blossoming across his arms and legs, and took the coat, wrapping it around himself.

He left without looking back.

Joker sagged. He went into the bathroom, got a bucket and a mop; cleaned up the bloodstains on the steps in a daze, plunging the mop into the soapy water as though he were punching Batman on his pointy-eared head, following the trail back down the stairs, into the basement.

How did it get this real? he thought, staring at the blood as he plunged the mop down and watched the bubbles pop and disappear, spiraling the water across the dirty floor.

It was supposed to be a game, he thought.

I’m not The Joker, he thought. That’s just a publicity stunt.

He wrung out the mop, mechanically.

I wouldn’t really torture and kill a kid, would I? he thought.

He started laughing, grabbing onto the mop until it fell, until he tripped over the bucket and sent its contents flying out across the floor. And that’s where he lay, with soapy, pink water soaking into the back of his shirt and trousers, staring at the bare bulb. I’m Jack Napier, he thought. Just a kid from the country who they told to play a Supervillain.

But I did a good job, didn’t I?

No one could have done a better one!

on ao3

#batman: white knight #batjokes #batman the animated series #jxhq #joker #my stuff #my fic

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allthephils · 5 years

Text

Beneficial

A week without posting, she comes back with a fic. Yeah. Hi guys. I’m back.

Word count: 2707 Rated M (Non-explicit sexual content, dick talk :), bants and fluff, strangers to lovers)

This was written for @phandomficfests Bingo to fulfill my mistaken identity and sharing a bed squares.

Read on AO3

Phil likes the finer things. He can definitely afford to stay in a well appointed hotel with soft linens and big windows and views of the city. There are, however, a few things that Phil appreciates more than luxury. A real home, lived in and loved, is one of them, a beautiful man who is just as generous with his body as he is with his living space is another. Anthony is just a friend, a friend with a very nice little home in Los Angeles who welcomes Phil to stay whenever he’s in town. In fact, he welcomes him right into his bed. Waking up naked and wrapped in muscular arms beats room service breakfast any day.

When Anthony texted the door code, he’d added, not sure I’ll be there but make yourself at home. It usually goes this way, Anthony pretending he’s got plans, that he isn’t looking forward to the particular benefits their friendship affords, emphasizing the casual nature of it all. Phil comes in with no expectations and it’s been Anthony that moves first every time, inching closer on the sofa, leaning in. The last time, he’d pulled his shirt off before Phil even had the door closed behind him.

The flight into LAX landed around ten so it’s nearly midnight when Phil arrives at Anthony’s place. It’s well into morning in London and Phil is feeling every minute of it as he squints through dry contacts to punch the code into the number pad on the door. The house is dark and quiet. Anthony would have left a light on if he were gone. Phil assumes he’s sleeping and quietly ducks into the guest bathroom to take out his contacts, brush his teeth, and strip down to his pants. Funny how he almost always wears pajamas at home but not here. It’s warm in LA and there’s no need for modesty. Why hide what’s on offer?

Shuffling his feet in hopes of alerting himself to obstacles before tumbling over them, Phil makes his way, nearly blind in the dark. The bedroom door is open. The sound of soft, even breaths moves through the silence. Anthony faces the other way but those curly locks on the pillow are so familiar, even through Phil’s blurry eyes. There’s something incredibly intimate about standing near someone while they sleep, knowing he was invited, that he’s trusted enough to be in this vulnerable place.

Carefully, Phil pulls back the duvet and lays himself down. He drags a finger over the floof of curly hair on the pillow next to his. He’d love to move his body closer, to press his chest to Anthony’s back, wrap his arm around his waist, tuck a leg between his strong thighs. His body is unreal. The thought of pressing himself up against that taut little bum has Phil’s body responding in ways he thought he was way too tired for. He is, however, definitely too tired to act on any of those biological impulses. Even if he weren’t, he wouldn’t assert himself in that way. And so, with hopeful anticipation for what the morning may bring, the boundaries stay firmly in place and within minutes, he’s asleep.

Morning comes but the room is still dark, blackout shades pulled down to keep the hot Los Angeles sun from streaming in. Phil is just emerging from a lovely dream involving Chris Hemsworth and a strawberry cheesecake when he feels a hand on his hip. He hums his approval just as the hand slips forward, finding Phil’s dick and squeezing him gently through his pants. He can feel breath on the back of his neck and the firm ridge of Anthony’s erection against his ass. This is bold, even for Anthony and it feels so good. Phil grabs the hand on his dick and pushes it under the waistband of his pants. Long fingers curl around him and he rocks his hips forward, seeing no reason to hold back.

There’s a breathy chuckle behind Phil’s ear. “Wow,” Anthony says in a terrible, posh British accent. He sounds ridiculous. “have you been taking supplements?”

Phil just sort of grunts with a question mark, his brain is admittedly a little foggy.

“Maybe my memory is bad but you weren’t this big before?” He’s still stroking and he’s still making fun of Phil’s accent. “Did you buy vitamins off of Facebook or something?” Anthony laughs and Phil wonders if he has a cold, he sounds a little stuffed up.

“Ditch the accent, you sound like Christopher Robin.” Phil giggles but the laughter stops abruptly when the hand on his dick stills. His hips rock on their own, chasing that delicious stroke and he whines. “Why’d you stop? You ok?”

The next sound is a whisper, “you aren’t Anthony.” The words come out slowly.

“I’m not,” Phil says. He takes a moment to talk himself out of the absolute panic telling him to grab the bedside lamp and smash it over the head of whoever is behind him. This person knows Anthony well enough to be sleeping in his bed. If Anthony trusts him, Phil can trust him, he probably isn’t going to murder him and wear his skin. Probably.

Phil clears his throat, “um, I’m gonna turn around, ok?”

The man with the skilled hands answers with an affirmative squeak. To be clear, his own hard dick is still pressed between Phil’s ass cheeks and his hand hasn’t moved.

“Sorry, but, um, your hand is still on my dick,” Phil says, speaking slowly and quietly. He’s not sure why he’s using his dog and child voice, it just seems like a delicate moment.

Before the last syllable is uttered, the hand is pulled back and every point of contact between them is broken.

Phil reaches over to turn on the lamp before taking a deep breath, and carefully turning over to see who’s hand he was just fucking himself into.

“Please tell me you aren’t Anthony’s boyfriend,” he says as he turns.

“I’m not Anthony’s...Phil?”

Even in the blur, Phil can tell he’s good looking. “Well good, I’m not Anthony’s Phil either.” Phil laughs, nerves settling a bit in light of the pretty brown eyes looking back at him.

“No, no. You’re Phil. You’re AmazingPhil.”

“Oh!” Phil says, “Yeah I am.”

“Ok, makes sense.”

“What makes sense?” Phil scrambles to the foot of the bed where he’d discard his backpack last night and digs out his glasses. Previous events notwithstanding, he’s feeling quite naked in front of this stranger and gets himself back under the covers as quickly as he can.

“You know, YouTubers, I imagine there are loads of messy relationships among you lot.”

“Oh yeah, bunch of awkward nerds who never leave the house. We’re wild!” Phil giggles before clarifying, “Anthony is just a friend.”

“A friend you climb into bed with, in the middle of the night, in your underwear?”

Phil is sitting up against the headboard. His new friend is still laying down, giving Phil a lovely view, now that he’s wearing his glasses. His skin is gorgeous, just dewy and beautiful even first thing in the morning. It makes Phil equal parts jealous and thirsty.

“Ok, judgey McJudgerston. I seem to remember a certain strong hand on your not boyfriend’s cock not too long ago.”

A rosy bloom appears on the man’s cheek, highlighting two dark brown freckles, so perfectly placed. “Strong hand, huh?” He smirks, pushing a dimple right into the center of the arrangement on his cheek. It’s like a little work of art and Phil stares for perhaps a bit too long.

“Sorry I made fun of your accent.”

He looks up at Phil and shrugs, “it’s ok. I do sound like Christopher Robin.” There’s a beat of silence before he adds, “Sorry for wanking you.”

Phil opens his mouth to speak but he just can’t, laughter bubbles up instead, Christopher Robin follows suit and it takes a good while for them both to gather themselves.

“Hi,” the guy is sitting up now, thrusting his hand out ceremoniously for a handshake, “I’m Dan.”

Phil looks down at the hand in front of him, “knowing where that hand has been, I think we are past formalities.” He grins, “I’m Phil. But you know that. You know this is a first for me?”

“What is? Getting a handjob from a stranger?”

“Oh no, not that.” Phil is laughing again, he can feel it taking over, heat rushing to his cheeks. He’s giddy but he tries his best to steel himself. “You’re the first fan I’ve ever been in bed with.”

“Who says I’m a fan?”

With one eyebrow raised, Phil says, “Well if you weren’t before…”

Dan shakes his head, and gives Phil’s shoulder a gentle shove. He leans back on the headboard next to Phil. There’s lots of room in this big king sized bed, he doesn’t have to sit so close but he does and their arms vie for space.

“I guess your pretty disappointed that Anthony’s not here?” Dan says.

“Not really.” Phil turns his head to look at Dan. “He said he might not be. We really are just friends. I crash here when I’m in LA, and sometimes we hook up.”

“How very modern.”

“I totally thought you were him, I’m so blind without my glasses, and you really do look alike.”

“Oh sure, all you’d have to do is touch literally any part of my body. I’m a fair bit more, uh, fluffy, than Anthony.”

Phil’s hand has come to rest on Dan’s thigh. “Well you were all pressed up against me earlier and you felt great to me.”

“I mean,” Dan says, “I’m no Anthony but I guess I’m not completely hideous.”

“Not completely hideous? Not to overstep any boundaries, but you’re hot, Dan. Way better than I expected when I turned around.”

“Yeah? Thanks.”

“What did you think when I turned around?”

“I thought, oh my god, its AmazingPhil, he’s even hotter in person, oh my god.”

Phil laughs, “Thought you weren’t a fan.”

“I may have seen a few videos.” He finally looks at Phil. “I’ve always wanted to be the kind of person who makes videos.”

“So what’s stopping you?”

“Bit old now.”

“Oh yeah, for sure Dan. No one could possibly relate to you at the ripe old age of, what? 24?”

“27.”

“27!? Wow. I’m surprised you can still get it up. I really admire your active senior lifestyle. Do you need me to get your walker so you can make it to the bathroom? Or…” Phil covers his mouth with his fingers. “Is that a sore subject? Are you wearing a diaper under there?” He lifts the blanket to peek at Dan and the mirth drops away.

The reality is, Dan is definitely wearing only boxer briefs and his legs are long and thick and really lovely, pressed up against Phil’s. The reality is that they are both ‘friends’ with Anthony but Phil would really like to see what benefits Dan has to offer right now.

Dan had folded his arms to wait out the ridicule but now he wears a very particular expression. It’s an expression that says he knows he has the upper hand here, it says he knows Phil wants him. Phil should probably say something but his brain is too busy conjuring images of those legs in all sorts of filthy configurations.

“What’s on your mind there, Phil?”

Phil wants to wipe the smirk off Dan’s face. What he wants more is to lay down and pull Dan on top of him, he wants to feel that body again. He can’t do that though, not in Anthony’s bed. That would be wrong. He repeats it like a mantra in his head. I will not fuck Anthony’s other hook up in his bed. I will not fuck Anthony’s other hook up in his bed.

“I don’t wanna talk about work,” Phil says. He looks Dan in the eye and grins. “Let’s talk about how my dick is bigger than Anthony’s.”

“Something tells me you already knew that.” There’s laughter in Dan’s voice.

“Still liked hearing you say it.”

“I mean, it’s a good dick. I didn’t want to let go.” Dan shifts, angling his body so he’s facing Phil. “Please don’t tell him I said that. Actually, let’s not tell him about any of this.”

“Deal.”

Dan is just looking at him now and Phil squirms under the attention.

“You look cute like this,” Dan says after a few moments have passed, “with the glasses and your hair all messed up.” On those last words, he reaches up and rakes his fingers through Phil’s droopy quiff.

It’s nothing, just a moment of eye contact and little touch, a little touch from long fingers that were wrapped around Phil’s cock not long ago. He feels it happening and he knows he shouldn’t let it. He’s such a sucker for a sweet man and this one is beautiful and tall and his skin is soft. His gaze dances from Dan’s eyes to his lips to his smooth chest and back again. The hand in his hair slips behind his head and he sees Dan smile as he pulls him in.

“Promise you aren’t dating Anthony?” Phil whispers, though he’s already tipping his head to one side and closing his eyes.

“I promise.”

Phil’s mind goes blank, there’s nothing but soft lips and strong hands and now Dan’s on his lap and Phil’s hands are down the back of his pants, pulling him down, rocking them together.

Dan nips at Phil’s bottom lip as he pulls away. “No offense but your breath is horrendous.”

“None taken,” Phil says, squeezing his handfuls of flesh hard, “yours is too.” He ducks his head to kiss up the side of Dan’s neck. It earns him the sexiest little grunt so keeps going, adding a well placed suck every now and again.

Dan is proper grinding now, panting and rolling his hips. “I wanna make out,” he says, “let’s go brush our teeth then you can fuck me in the shower.”

So much for sweet. Phil pulls his hands from the fun they’re having and pushes Dan away gently. “Alright, fuck, we have to...You need to get off.”

“I’m trying.” Dan bends forward till his lips are dangerously close to Phil’s nipple.

“No, off of me. Come on Dan, you know we can’t do this.”

Dan flops down next to Phil, catching his breath, looking dejected.

“We have no idea where Anthony is or when he’s coming home. And I don’t know the rules. For like, friends with benefits and their other friends with other benefits and whether we’re allowed to like benefit from each other.” Phil takes off his glasses and rubs his eyes.

“I think we’re adults and we can do whatever the fuck we want.”

“I don’t know,” Phil says, “In his house? It seems like bad manners.”

“Yeah, yeah, you’re right. Sorry.” Dan stands and starts to gather his things. “Can I give you my number? Maybe we can…”

“No.” Phil says and Dan freezes for a moment before picking up his pace. “Don’t leave. I like you. And I need coffee. Let’s get coffee and then, maybe you could show me your place?”

Dan turns to face Phil with the most gorgeous smile on his face. “So you wanna fuck me in my shower?”

“I want to buy you coffee and a croissant and hear all about you.” Phil stands up and walks to Dan. He wraps his arms around his waist. They make such a match like this. They just fit, chest to chest, eye to eye, cock to cock. That’s gotta be some kind of fate or maybe Anthony just has a type. Phil chooses to believe it’s fate.

Dan lets Phil hold him there. It’s the kind of moment that usually comes steps before laying in bed half naked and kissing with morning breath. Their noses bump, and Dan’s smile softens into something sweet again. “You wanna buy me coffee?”

Phil nods.

“And then fuck me in my shower?”

Laughing, Phil smacks Dan’s ass. “Get dressed you perv. We’ve got a date.”

#my fic #phanfic #pff bingo 2019

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haunt-the-stars · 5 years

Text

Ornaments

Written for Batfam Christmas Stocking 2018 for @starknjarvis27 ‘s prompts “A seemingly normal holiday activity accidentally makes someone sad, someone else comforts them.” & “Jason’s first Christmas back at the manor”

Fandom: Batman (Comics)

Characters: Bruce Wayne, Jason Todd, Cassandra Cain (mentioned), Dick Grayson (mentioned), Tim Drake (mentioned), Damian Wayne (mentioned)

Category: Gen

Relationships: Bruce Wayne & Jason Todd

Genre: Hurt/Comfort, Angst

Every once in a while, Bruce wondered what it was like to have five mostly-grown children in a normal-sized house. Usually, he immediately wished he didn’t wonder about it, because the idea was terrifying. His family not being able to spread out to their own spaces...it would be awful for everyone except perhaps Dick. Even he sometimes retreated for a few hours, and Bruce would find him under a heavy blanket, headphones in, happily shutting the world out.

It was one of those times, when everyone was shutting the world out in their own way. As of this morning, all five of his kids were under his roof, and they would be having Christmas Eve dinner all together in about nine hours. Then Christmas Eve patrol, when Nightwing wore colorful string lights and Red Robin wore a Santa hat and Orphan’s humming of Christmas songs was constant on the comms. But for now, in anticipation of spending so much time together and so much energy trying not to kill each other, they were taking a few hours for themselves.

Bruce checked on Cassandra first, found her curled up with a tablet in the library watching what he had to assume was the holiday baking show she’d been watching so much lately. It’s relaxing, she’d told him. Ace sat on her feet, tail thumping against the chair. Cass waved at Bruce, not bothering to take her headphones out, then signed, “Do you need help?” Bruce shook his head, smiled, and waved back before quietly shutting the door and moving on.

Damian was harder to find, but Bruce eventually discovered him perched on a window seat in the study, fast asleep, sketchbook and a handful of pencils in his lap. Bruce smiled at the sketch of the large tree that stood outside the window. Damian had captured the falling snow, and seemed to have started adding a small bird with a tiny scarf before he fell asleep. Bruce gently moved the book and pencils to a table and replaced them with a blanket over Damian, hoping the chill from the window wouldn’t freeze him.

Dick was next, and Bruce didn’t even have to walk far into his bedroom before he heard the shower running and Dick’s voice drifting out of the bathroom with the steam. Bruce listened for a few seconds, thinking wistfully to himself how nice it would be if he actually remembered how to play the piano so he could share in Dick’s love of music. Damian had just started letting Dick teach him how to play the guitar, and Bruce would be lying if he said he wasn’t just the tiniest bit jealous of yet another connection they had that didn’t involve him.

He moved on down the hall to Tim’s room, and got another auditory confirmation of wellbeing in the form of Tim’s bright giggles, and then a, “It’s definitely just ‘moose,’ Bart.” A pause, then, “Well, house rhymes with mouse but it’s houses, not hice, right?” and then, “Kon, shut up,” and then more laughter, which made Bruce’s heart warm. He ignored the fact that the giggles were probably due to Tim’s obvious crush on Superboy, because to acknowledge it would be to acknowledge that yet another son of his had a thing for men who could bench press him. He had lost enough sleep over Dick, and Tim had his own contingency plans. Probably.

Bruce considered stopping his rounds there to avoid agitating his most volatile child. He had seen him just an hour or two ago, and it was unlikely that anything life-shattering had happened in the meantime. But a worried little drive always seemed to win over in situations like this. He couldn’t relax until each bird was accounted for, and after spending so long not getting to check on Jason, it was a privilege he never wanted to pass up. Especially today, given the circumstances.

All five birds in his nest for Christmas...for the first time.

True, each year had brought them a little closer to it, with Jason first sneaking in during the night to drop some mania-driven notes and presents, then the next year coming for an awkward visit during breakfast, and finally this year, a hesitant maybe to Alfred’s invitation. Truthfully, Bruce didn’t think he would come. His visits were slightly more frequent than they used to be, slightly more peaceful, and Bruce knew that he and Dick had a standing monthly dinner date, that he and Tim were steadfast video game partners, and that he genuinely seemed to like Cass and Damian. But when it came to Bruce, everything was still a battle.

He was sort of hoping for a Christmas miracle come dinner time tonight, that maybe they’d get through a whole twenty-four hours without conflict.

The room that had unofficially become Jason’s was empty, as was his childhood bedroom -- expected, since Jason usually wanted nothing to do with it. Bruce would have checked the library next, but he had been in there to see Cass and Jason wasn’t with her. Alfred was unaccompanied in the kitchen, putting a sheet of sugar cookies into the oven, and reported that he hadn’t seen Jason any more recently than Bruce had.

Beginning to worry, Bruce was about to make his way back to the study to check down in the cave when he heard the faintest of sniffles.

Oh no.

He stepped silently backwards until he could pinpoint the noise that was coming from the sitting room. It was quiet, but unmistakably Jason. Bruce could pick out the sound of any of his kids’ tears from a mile away, even if some of them were more apt to let him hear than others. He had to come up with a game plan, though. Dick and Cassandra both liked to be held when they were upset, while Damian usually calmed down with verbal reassurances and Tim was content to have someone sit with him and listen.

When Jason was young, he used to like Bruce to sit and listen to him too. But sometimes when he looked at his son now, it was like looking at a stranger. So different in the ways he talked and moved and felt that Bruce didn’t know how to take care of him, didn’t know how to love him anymore.

But he had to try.

Bruce came around the corner into the sitting room to see Jason sitting, legs crossed, face buried in his hands, under the Christmas tree. There were at least twenty Christmas trees in Wayne Manor, most of them in the front entryway and the ballroom, but those were decorated with big, plain, shining balls. The eight-foot beast in the sitting room was for all the ornaments each of his children had collected over the years, from the very first little elephant he’d given a nine-year-old Dick to Damian’s new tiny tray of teacups. Jason, despite his huge and intimidating stature, looked small beneath it.

“Jason.”

Jason started, lifted his head, and groaned. His voice was brittle and his face was red. “How much would it cost for you to go away?”

“I’m a billionaire.”

Jason huffed, rubbing his eyes with his sleeve, and Bruce stepped further into the room, doing his best to look open and non-threatening. Open palms. Loose arms. Just like Cassandra taught him. “Do you want to talk about it?”

“Nope,” Jason said. Bruce shrugged, and sat down next to him, keeping just a bit of distance between their shoulders. Letting Jason come to him.

Praying Jason came to him.

“It’s not fair,” came Jason’s pitiful whisper after nearly a minute.

Bruce resisted the urge to turn and face him, hoping he’d feel more comfortable this way. “No, it’s not.”

“You don’t even know what I’m talking about.”

“It’s probably not fair.”

A startled, choked half-laugh came from Jason, and then a hand was in front of Bruce’s face, uncurling to reveal an ornament. One of the first ornaments he gave Jason, in the shape of a tire.

It had seemed funny at the time.

“I was thirteen, when you got me this,” Jason says, and Bruce nods patiently. “And that was seven years ago. I’m twenty.”

Bruce had a bit of a feeling he knew where this was going, but he nodded again. “Yes, you are.”

“I’ve only been...a-alive, and...sane, for...sixteen years, total.”

Now Bruce did look over, saw Jason shudder and another tear slip down his cheek. “I missed so much. I missed getting my license, and my prom, and my graduation and birthdays and I’m here fucking crying because I missed getting some stupid fucking ornaments.”

Bruce felt his heart sink. “Jay…”

He had nothing else to say. Jason’s lip quivered and his breathing stuttered, tears coming in a slow trickle as he collapsed forward into his hands again. “I’m not twenty yet, Bruce. I can’t be twenty. I can’t be twenty when I was never sixteen or seventeen or--”

“Shh.” Carefully, Bruce laid a hand on his son’s back and rubbed up and down his spine. He wasn’t sure how well a hug would be received yet. But maybe this could be a compromise. “You don’t have to be twenty. You can be sixteen if you want.”

“I can’t be s-sixteen.”

“Why can’t you?”

Jason looked up at him like it was the most obvious thing in the world. “I can’t be younger than Tim.”

That was another thing about Jason. No matter the circumstance, no matter if they were sitting on the floor and Jason was crying, there was no one that could ever make him laugh more.

For a few seconds, Bruce felt horror crawl up his spine as he let out the most inappropriate, uncontrollable laugh he had in years. A rare “bat-guffaw,” as Dick would call it. Jason stared, wide-eyed, shocked into breathing steady again.

And then he laughed too.

Bruce hadn’t really heard Jason laugh since he came back with an adult voice. He’d heard him cackle, heard him mock him, but never laugh earnestly like a child being tickled.

His new laugh was nice. Low and loud and bubbling up through his tears as they both dissolved back into giggles every time they looked at each other. A little bit hysterical. But that suited him, Bruce supposed.

When they finally calmed down, Jason scrubbed at his eyes again, sniffling. “I’m a fucking mess.”

“You should wash your face. I’d...like to take you somewhere, before dinner.”

Jason raised an eyebrow. “Where?”

“The mall, maybe? Somewhere with a Christmas store. I think...I think we have some ornament shopping to catch up on.”

Please be the right thing to say.

Jason grinned.

They picked out five ornaments, in the end. A motorcycle, a little stack of books, the Gotham skyline, a tiny pair of combat boots, and a pair of comedy and tragedy masks.

It wasn’t until they were checking out that Bruce noticed Jason had added a small bat to the pile.

Maybe this would be the first of a new kind of Christmas.

#bcs2018 #batfamchristmasstocking2018 #My writing #batfamily #jason todd #bruce wayne #batfam fanfiction

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cathcacen · 7 years

Text

On each other’s team

Lars and Theone talk about their ideal partners. Requested by @phylophe and happily filled because I have a fluffy butt. Edits to come tomorrow because sleep.

Sharval is warm this time of year. They’re laying in the grass beneath the shroud of stars together, full from a dinner of steak and kidney pie and a berry pudding smothered in jam-rippled cream when Theone, in her ever-casual indifference, throws out the question.

“So what’s going on with you and Kasem, Lars?” The eldest Ilvait-Sagen peers over at her, hazel-and-green eyes keen and curious in the moonlight. “You pretty much sat by his side all day.”

She blinks, confused. “How do you mean? I was helping Ceth drain the pus from his boils. Not exactly romantic, is it?” It’s true she’d found the young Caldeum native an interesting enough companion; he had plenty of stories to share on life in the desert. Bright-eyed, friendly, and eager to laugh despite his unfortunate condition. She liked him well enough.

Theone flops over onto her front to get a better look at her. “Yeah, but he seems like he’d be a good match, right?” She grins knowingly. “Or are you still hung up over Jace?”

“No.” Lars settles into the grass, relishing in the green, lively fragrance with its musky, earthy undertones. The familiarity is comforting. “I’ll be starting training with your dad when we get back to Virkove, anyway.”

“So?” Theone hums cheerfully. “I’m sure papa won’t keep you so busy you can’t date.”

She makes a face. “I don’t really want to date right now.” I’ve got some big shoes to fill. The thought sends shivers down her spine – excitement mingles alongside apprehension. Mae’s going to need a good scout when he’s General.

“Fair enough.” Theone sinks back down into the grass, letting out a contented, happy sigh. “What’s your ideal lover like, though? You didn’t look overly excited over your date when we were in Lut Gholein.”

“That’s because you picked him, you idiot.”

Theone frowns, evidently displeased. “Well, excuse me for trying. You ended up having fun, right?”

That draws forth a smile, and she chuckles, shutting her eyes and folding her hands together over her middle. She remembers the night well – the soft, lapping waves of the beach, soft-blue ribbons wound about a dark wrist, the crisp, clear water of the oasis, and the fresh breath of morning on the ride back to town after. Mae’s face surfaces, his smile bright and warm. “Yeah.”

“You didn’t answer my question.” Theone shuffles closer, then lets out a long sigh. “My ideal lover has to be tall, I think. And he needs to be smart, but not obnoxious. Nice eyes, maybe.”

“Afraid he’ll be smarter than you?” She snickers as Theone elbows her in the side; amber eyes, warm and bright flash across her mind. A soft, careless hum escapes her, and she finds herself remarking in agreement after, “But nice eyes are a plus.”

“What else?”

“We’d have some things in common.” She searches the sky above, the deep-blue expanse framed in her line of sight by the tops of trees. “We’d swim together at night when everyone else is asleep, and go on lots of adventures together. See the world, try new things. Tastes and sights and sounds and smells – all of it.”

Theone chuckles. “That’s kind of a tall order, you know.”

She knows what her friend means. Virkovians are content to stay. Our roots run deep and strong. Her spirit yearns to fly – to see more. “Maybe. I could still travel on my own, though. He’d have to be okay with that too. Parting, and knowing I’d come home at the end of the day.”

“So he can’t be a jealous sort of fellow, then.”

“Ugh, no.” She slips an arm under her head. “I’d feel safe around him. I’d be able to tell him anything – any secret, embarrassing or not, and we’d laugh at it after. He wouldn’t be afraid of my father or my brothers. We’d fight sometimes, because he’d always speak his mind, even when it makes me mad. He’s not necessarily with the militia, but he works hard and doesn’t give up, even when the road forward seems impossible to traverse.” A pause, and she can’t help but to smile. “He’d be friends with my friends, and Averard would like him.”

“Good heavens, Lars, you’ve really thought about this.” Theone eyes her suspiciously.

“You asked.”

“Fine. Go on.”

She snickers, letting out a sigh after. “We’d be comfortable together. Like friends, you know? Like Aunt Ora and Uncle Heulan. We’d always be straight with each other. Life with him would be an adventure. He wouldn’t be the sort of man who’d promise never to hurt me, but when he does, he’d apologise straightaway. He’d love his family and he’d be sweet to his mum. He’d be funny and charming, but not in that obnoxious way that draws too much attention to the fact. It’d be an understated and ridiculous way, that makes you laugh at him. He’d be ready with a smile, and when he isn’t, I’d smile enough for the both of us.”

“What about looks?” Theone scratches at her chin, letting out a thoughtful ‘hmm’. “Jace was pretty good-looking. Pure Northern and full-muscle.”

“If you like him so much, you can date him.”

“I don’t want your leftovers, Cethlion.”

She lets out a laugh. “Well, what’s your ideal mate like, then? You seemed to like your date enough in Lut Gholein.”

Theone nibbles her lip, brows furrowing as she considers the question. “He was actually pretty nice. But really, I don’t know.” She pauses, then lets out a sigh. “Mama used to tell me that she just knew. That she fell in love with papa for his nature, and that she wasn’t expecting to fall the way she did. That it wasn’t really anything profound that drew her to him. She just loved him, and then eventually, he loved her back. Sometimes I wonder if that’s what it’s going to be like for me. I mean, if it’s going to hit me without warning, should I even bother thinking about it?”

“Sometimes, we can’t help but think about it.” A little bird settles upon a branch overhead, and if she squints hard enough, she can just catch a glimpse of orange. She sits up, running her hands through her hair to dislodge bits of broken-up leaf. “But you’re having a good time regardless, right?”

“Yeah.” Theone grins aside at her. “It’s encouraging to hear you think about this stuff sometimes too, though.”

“Apparently too much.”

“My ideal lover, though.” Theone pauses briefly, and she watches as the older girl’s eyes harden. “He’ll love Tychol as much as he loves me. And he won’t be a pushover. He’ll make papa nervous at first, and mama will have to step in, but eventually they’ll grow to love him too.”

“Think you’ll meet him in Virkove?”

“Who knows? And anyway, it’s not as if I’m in a hurry.” Theone perks up as a soft rustling breaks the relative quiet of the night. It’s just Mae, though, messy hair framing his face and teeth showing in a broad smile. “Did the happily-married couple kick you out too?”

“Nah.” Mae flops down onto the grass, and the little bird above flits down to land atop his head. “Ceth’s putting up some new shelves with the twins, and Cel’s baking some buns for tomorrow’s breakfast. What’re you two doing here?”

“Talking about our ideal partners.” She shuffles up to her friend and reaches out to the little bird with her forefinger. The robin rubs his beak gently against its tip, then allows her to scratch his orange crest. “So next time Theone sets me up on a date, she’ll have an idea of what I like.”

Mae makes a face. “What’s the most important criteria?”

“Averard has to like him.” Theone snickers at her cousin, and Mae favours her with a lighthearted chuckle. “Come to think of it, you’d fit that mould too. Right, Lars?”

“Well, Averard likes me enough.” Mae puffs his chest out with pride, the little bird upon his head following suit. “So I guess I’m your date for the next formal event we’re forced to attend, Lars!”

“Sure.” Glimpses of the oasis play in her mind yet again. She meets Mae’s eyes, lips curled in a broad smile to match his own. The amber eyes soften as they focus upon her own blues, and she feels her heart stop, if only for a moment. It’s not a new realisation for her, but it’s certainly one she hopes neither Theone nor Mae are aware of.

Mae isn’t merely ideal. He’s the dream – the adventure. Gods, I want to live it.

#emmbot writes #laori cethlion #theone ilvait-sagen #amaethon valdel #raindrop pendants westmarch #raindrop pendants

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ecotone99 · 5 years

Text

[RF] The Mask

It began on a Saturday. The pitter pat of rain thumped innocuously at Damien’s window. It was a silent kind of day. Then his alarm sounded. A fist shot out immediately, striking it, sending it crashing to the floor. Damien groaned. “Fuck me,” he exclaimed. “I need a drink.” He fished around and came up with a bottle of clear liquor. His head pounded. “Rum. The other white meat.” He took a deep drink. Damien was fat. There was no delicate way to say it. At 5’8” and 278 pounds, he was one fucking big guy. It was a point of contention. It drove a wedge between him and his parents. The rings in his face, his purple mohawk, that drove another. He kept odd hours. He could afford to. His writing career made just enough money that he was his own boss. It was liberating. Those cocksuckers working at banks and restaurants had it all wrong. It had been a rough week. Robert’s dad had a stroke. A bad one, by the sound of it. He paused mid sip. He had a late lunch with Robert in an hour or so. What was he gonna say? What could he say? Sorry your dad is gonna fucking die? “Thoughts, and prayers, and my thumb up my ass,” he grumbled. Damien was an Atheist. Had been since approximately age fifteen. His mother was a Roman Catholic who meant well, but had her head up her cooch. His father was a lapsed Jew or something. His phone vibrated. It was Paul. Damien ignored it. He’d deal with the overzealous editor when his head wasn’t throbbing and his balls didn’t ache. But of course, his balls always ached. That was his cross to bear. He fucked around for a minute longer, then against his better judgement, stepped into the shower. God yes, but that steaming water always felt good. Damien always did his best dissociating in the shower. He sat down, back against the wall, and tried to forget. Thump. Thump, thump. “Five more minutes, Martha.” He stuporic eyes shot open. “Who the FUCK is Martha?!” “Damien, you in there?!,” Robert shouted mildly. “It’s time to go, man.” “OH, FUCK.” “Just give me a sec.” he gave everything a rub down, washed his asshole and his balls, and quickly shampooed his hair. It was 45 minutes past their lunch date before he even got dressed. “Hey man, you okay?,” Robert inquired, voice laced with concern. “Am I okay? Bro, I’m worried about you. Robert managed a weak smile, and shrugged. “I mean, what can I do, man? It’s a bad scene either way. I just hope he doesn’t suffer on the way out.” Damien met his glance, could see the pain in his eyes. They were best friends of over 25 years. More like brothers. “It’s gonna be okay, Robbie.” He embraced his friend tightly. “Don’t call me Robbie,” he said. They sat in saddened silence. Normally, eating at Red Robin marked a happy occasion. “What’re you ordering, man?,” Robert said. He tried to smile, but couldn’t. “The fucking shrimp basket.” “Shrimp basket? Is it fried?” Damien laughed wryly. “Ninja, it’s a fucking Red Robin. Everything is fried. The goddamn soda is fried.” Robert smiled, for real this time. “Thank you, Damien.” “For what?” “You know what. For having my back, like you have since forever. You know the doctors say he has less than a month now.” The news stopped him cold. “A...a month?,” he stammered. “Yeah. Shit sucks.” “How’s your mom taking it?” Robert shrugged. “About as well as you’d expect. She’s 68. And stoic. She doesn’t let me know it’s bothering her, but I can tell. I can tell.” “The thought of your mom in an empty bed eats me up inside,” Damien said with a quiet fury. “Me too, man. But hey, he’s not dead yet. Let’s make this last month count.” The two men are their meal, reminiscing about the past, discussing their hopes for the future. The meal was delicious. A funny thing, Damien thought. Death always made him hungry. Hungry, and horny. He would have to scratch that particular itch later. The thrusting was vigorous. They moaned together, at the end. When it was over, the man, naked, lit a cheap cigar. Soon the motel room stank of tobacco. “You should at least learn to smoke a real cigar,” the woman said. “Fuck it,” Damien said, bringing it to his knee, holding it down in a desperate act of self mutilation. “Jesus, fuck, Damien,” she exclaimed. “Why do you have to be so goddamn self destructive?” He smiled, a twinkle in his eye. “You’re just jealous.” “Fuck you,” she laughed,” taking the cigar from him. She pressed it down against her inner thigh. “Fuck, that feels good.” Lazily flicking her nipples with her free hand. Damien squeezed her breast. “Admit it,” he lulled. “You like me.” Mischief burned in Karen Harper’s eyes. Mischief, and something else. “Miss me with that gay shit,” she said. Then he kissed her. She pulled back after a couple minutes, voice heavy. “Are you okay?” Damien smiled with an impish charm, and sighed. “Yeah. Fuck. No, actually. I don’t know why I just lied to you.” What’s wrong?,” she inquired, laying a hand against his shoulder. “It’s my best friend Robert. His dad just had a major stroke. This wasn’t the first time, either. He...,” his voice cracked. “He’s dying.” She stroked his shoulder comfortingly. “Damien...I’m so sorry. I lost my father 6 years ago. He had a massive heart attack. It was a total shock, we never saw it coming.” “I’ve known him my entire life. His wife is crazy about him. It’s killing me.” She took his head in her lap, stroking his hair. They stayed like that for a long time. At some point, he fell asleep. Sometimes, in our most vulnerable moments, the void is filled. But never for long. “How’s Dusty doing?,” Paul asked. Damien just hadn’t been able to put him off any longer. The editor was a big man. A huge man, actually. All of 6’7” and pushing 350 pounds of muscle. Of course, Damien had shown up reeking of brandy and pot, but that suited Paul just fine. The Goliath worked hard, and partied harder. “Not good,” Damien sighed wanly. “He hasn’t got very long.” “Shit. It’ll be okay.” “No,” Damien said morosely. “You’ll be okay,” Paul urged gently. “No, I fucking won’t.” “Christ, Damien, I know that. But it’s what people say. I’m limited by society’s options.” “It’s a mask,” Damien said. “Just say what you cunting mean, Paul.” “In that case.” He grinned. “In that case, I’d like to inform you that I’d 100% let Lady Gaga shit in my mouth.” Damien cocked back his head and laughed shrewdly. “Hey, me too.” “Damien, do you want the world to remember you when you die? Is that why you write?” “Huh. Well, art is a very selfish and egotistical pursuit.” “You didn’t answer my question.” “I want them to celebrate,” Damien said. “Celebrate what?” “Life. I want them to get drunk, high. To fuck in the middle of the street.” “What about your body?” Damien shrugged. “Skin my tattoos, cremate my fat ass, and for the sake of baboon pussy, don’t pray for me.” “I don’t give a fuck what happens,” Paul said mildly. “I just wanna get high.” “Why did you call me here, Paul?,” Damien arched his eyebrows. “For another one of your horseshit deadlines?” “Dude, I already said.” He held up a big old white bag. “To get high.” Damien grinned boyishly. “You know me too well, Paul. Way too fucking well. It’s eerie.” 30 minutes later, they were in Paul’s immaculate black Mercedes. Paul was driving (Damien didn’t have a license). Actually he was gunning it. He was jamming it to Lynyrd Skynyrd in erratic fashion. “Sweet home Alabama! Dun nun nun nun nun nun nun! Where the skies are so blue!” “Man, FUCK Alabama!,” Damien cried, smashing a mailbox with a wooden bat. “He leaned out of the car, a savage grin on his face . “Nothing in Alabama but buttfuckin hicks and weasels!” “Man, I’m FROM Alabama.” “So? Fuck you too,” he laughed. Paul twitched, did a line off his steering wheel. Started laughing. “Man, you’re right. I hate my hometown. Fuck Alabama. Big old shithole, man.” “Fuck Alabama,” Damien agreed. “Hey, Paul?” “Yeah?” “Can you take me home? I wanna be alone. Some of my best writing is done fucked up.” Paul nodded. “Sure, buddy.”

Damien fell, facefirst onto his bed. He had a nosebleed, but didn’t care. Didn’t give a single fuck. He fished around and found his half empty rum bottle. Took a deep swig. “Where did I put my mothershitting blunt?” “He groped for it, staggered, finally found it. The sweet, aromatic smell of pot permeated the room. He inhaled deeply. “Fucking aah, he declared.” He was just about drifting off when his phone began to ring. He looked down at his phone. 5:23AM. It was Robert. “Hello?” “Damien? Sorry to wake you.” “No. No, I was up. Everything okay, man?’ Even though he knew it wasn’t. Even though a late night call like this could only mean one thing. “No. He’s gone, Damien. He died about an hour ago. I’m sorry.” Even though he knew, fucking knew that Dusty Chavers was dying, the news hit him like a train. It was oddly physical. He felt sick, cancerous. “I’m sorry, Robert. I loved your dad very much.” “I know you did. I know it’s late. I just wanted to tell you.” “Robert, I won’t let you or your mom face this alone.” “Thank you. I gotta go. I have other calls to make.I love you, Damien. Goodnight.” “Goodnight, Robbie.” He made it to the very end of their phone call, then he projectile vomited. Right onto his bed. Fuck it. He would clean it up later. He couldn’t think. He could barely see straight. He was so high and drunk and fucked up on coke and weed and grief. There was only one place to go. Only one place he COULD go.

“Robert’s dad is dead,” Damien said quietly. She put her head on his chest. “I’m so sorry. I know you’re not okay. It’s NOT okay. It fucking sucks.” “Do you have a hole inside your soul, Karen?,” he asked. “I have an emptiness inside of me that I just can’t seem to fill. With food or booze or weed or anything good or bad. What is this emptiness inside of me?” He slammed his fist against the end table. “This desperate need to connect to others.” Tears began to fall. “Is this what being human means?” She touched his arm. “Would you read me one of your poems?” “What does that matter,” he said bitterly. “Please? Just do it.” “Okay,” he said tonelessly. “Whatever. I call this one Statuary.” He cleared his throat, struggled not to cry again. He began:

“The girl raises her glass, Alas, alas, So fast, She withers.

The forest chants, Enchants, Recants, Laments her whispers.

Her corpse is frost Touches the moss, So green, Obscene.

Among the lumber, She still slumbers, Slumbers, Slumbers.” She put his hand on her breast. “That was beautiful. “YOU are beautiful,” she whispered. “I...I don’t know what to say.” She shrugged. “Yeah, well. You were right. I DO like you.” His brown eyes shone.. He did not speak for a long while. “Miss me with that gay shit!,” he replied finally. The void is real. And it is cruel. And it wins more often than not. Death is a foregone conclusion. But one thing our species has is heart. We are stubborn, motherfucking pricks. The void is real, no doubt about it. Let’s make that bastard work for it.

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