am I too late for a littleeeeee 🔀 for steddie?? 🫣 🥰
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My bb requests an au!! 🥰✨️ and wow did this song deliver. It's so cinematic and I'm a little obsessed and might have to actually write this.
Steve always felt that itch beneath his skin when one was near - one who drank from others as if they were fountains. His parents always said that he would know when one grew close. They kept him trained, skills honed, weapons sharpened for the first two decades of his life. They grew soft in the third, though. Let their guard down and settled into the peace that their life and prosperity had afforded them. They were out of touch, out of practice because the creatures stopped seeking them out.
Or so they thought.
His parents grew cocky, letting their pride overtake their logic. It only took a moment in the midst of a foolish pursuit of gory nostalgia - a blink of an eye, the space between heartbeats being more than accommodating to house the final breaths of Harold and Talinda Harrington.
Steve, however, was fearsome, if his reputation were to be believed. Eddie heard how the corridors of Harrington Hall had been left slick with the black ichor of those who came to retaliate. Of Eddie's kin.
Eddie watched for weeks and wondered why the heir didn't follow in his parents' wake and move to slaughter.
Eddie watched and saw a man haunted and reluctant. One who only flourished in the presence of his sister and his wards.
Eddie watched, captivated and enchanted, and stayed, even fending off those who came to finish the job, consuming their power in the process. He watched and waited, keeping to the shadows until the night that Eddie revealed himself.
"They came for us."
Steve stared in shock at the creature who stood propped against the wall. It looked about his height with a curtain of dark curls, shiny beetle wing black eyes glinting even in shadow. Expression hard and alluring. Predator beholding a prey more than capable of fighting back. Of winning, even, Steve told himself as he thought about about what the creature said, about how his parents had been absent during the last-
"The last new moon," the creature continued, with a slow approach, making Steve's stomach twist from the feeling of the its breath fanning across his neck.
"They knew we'd be weak," the creature said, punctuating the word by grabbing Steve's jaw and squeezing, digging its nails into Steve's skin.
"Do it."
The creature cocked its head, eyes dark and curious and dangerous.
"Do what, Harrington?"
"Kill me. Avenge your slain. Feed. It doesn't matter."
"You grieve," it purred.
"You grieve. I exist."
The creature brushed the pad of its thumb across Steve's bottom lip. "I grieve because you exist."
Because Steve intrigued him, occupied ever inch of his mind and Steve's main objective was to kill his kind, just as Eddie's base function was to prey on Steve's. Eddie was infatuated and it defied nature.
But Steve swallowed, taking in the more solemn implication.
"Have you not felt it?" the creature whispered in Steve's ear.
"I've sensed you for weeks."
"Just me?"
Steve gave the creature a guarded look, his eyes unsure in retrospect. Then it clicked. "You're a scout."
The creature bit at its lip, watching as Steve's moved to form more words:
"How long?"
The creature smiled, teeth glinting with the flickering candlelight. "Whenever I say. If ever I say."
"How many?"
"Ohhh, pet," it leaned in, running their nose up the column of Steve's throat. "Legions."
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My brain is on fire same I can’t sleep and am thinking of this:
The way she writes about marriage/family/commitment through these different situations across the album is soooooooooo interesting.
You have a very intense first experience of it in “The Manuscript,” where it is first dangled in front of her/the narrator’s young, impressionable self as shorthand for real love in a situation that ended up being smoke and mirrors. She’s being told everything she wants to hear by someone who basically thinks it’s just foreplay. In the end, when it’s clear that the other person has no intention of actually making a life with her, it makes her feel used, but she forces herself to recalibrate and become the girl she thinks he and all the other hes want her to be. Easy breezy cool. But there’s a sense of loss in realizing those hopes were merely banter to the other.
You have the “grown up” version of it alluded to in “So Long, London” and “How Did It End?”, the years of putting in work to save a relationship and the “deflation of our dreaming leaving [her] bereft and reeling” leading to them “calling it all off.” The implication is clearly that they built a home together with plans for next steps at a point in time, but the commitment is shattered. (Obviously to me it sounds like marriage.) She’s bitter at spending her “prime” years with someone who ultimately didn’t want to be there, even if he couldn’t or wouldn’t admit it himself.
She felt like she did everything she was supposed to, but they were learning the right steps to different dances at as it were. Those dreams were at one point shared, but in the end they weren’t right for each other and she admits that, though bitterly (“I founded the club she’s heard great things about” eg the years she put in for him to help him grow up will end up benefiting his new lover, “but I’m not the one,” “you’ll find someone,” etc.). Mixed in with all this of her resentment of him wasting her youth (sacrificing herself at the altar), and his resentment of her for reasons less defined, and insinuations of betrayal in the shadows. The fantasy of the whole package disappears into the ether, yet she still has no answers as to how they got there.
Then in comes the wolf in sheep’s clothing in many of the rest of the songs, the one who promises her all those things she’s dreamed of since she was a kid instantly. After years of moulding herself to other men’s desires, someone comes in and tells her exactly what she wants to hear at the most vulnerable time of her life, as though the universe is answering her prayers, like some sort of cosmic payback for all she’s suffered, and it’s the most intoxicating drug of all. She’s gone from her wish for a family life feeling like she’s in a way being used for her body, to it being used as a chain to a relationship gone sour, to having someone put a metaphorical ring on her finger and tell her he wants to have babies with her, fuck those other guys.
In her grief and stupor, it’s too good to be true, which is exactly why she falls for it. But of course, it’s all an illusion, because this wolf is an amalgamation of the worst of all the men who came before him. He tells her everything she wants to hear not to make her dreams come true, but to make his. He takes the worst parts of these scenarios to make his move: he’ll stand by her, he’ll commit, he’ll do it out in the open under the spotlight’s glare (all things desperately lacking in her last relationship), but after he beds her he stabs her in the back in private and leaves her. He got what he wanted at the expense of her losing everything she wanted, this time as her world caved in seemingly for good. She feels like she gave up everything she thought she might have had for a chance that this is where the universe has been point her all along, only to be left broken for good (you represent the loss of my life as I knew it).
Then there are two sort of codas to this. In “But Daddy I Love Him” we get a sassier reimagining of “Love Story,” where the girl with the scarlet letter is mouthy and crass and tells everyone to go fuck themselves for cursing her in the first place, choosing her love above all else. And no, those haters can’t come to her wedding. Her daddy may have come around, but they sure can’t. Finally it seems someone is choosing her and will someday give her these things, and she’ll be able to show all the naysayers. (Also interestingly one of the more fictionally-veiled songs which ends happily vs the diaristic ones that don’t.)
Then of course there’s “So High School,” our first glimpse into what the future holds. Probably the only unabashedly happy (nay… electric?) song on the album, it’s all about reclaiming the buzz of youth (which is a whole other post) with a new lover. “Are you gonna marry, kiss or kill me? It’s just a game but really, I’m betting on all three for us two.” It’s, er, a direct nod to a certain now-infamous interview, but again, she’s staking her claim on her future, if not certain then at least hopeful again. This time the prospect doesn’t come with a “but.” It’s not, we’ll be pushing strollers but actually you’re too young. It’s not, we had these dreams for our future but actually I can’t move forward. It’s not, I’m going to promise you a ring and a baby but only until my needs are met and then I’m out. It’s, I know what I wanted and I’m not leaving, and thanks to that now she stays too.
The album dealt with the theme not at all in the way I expected, but is absolutely fascinating.
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