#that woman is so emotionally invested you get emotional invested as well

[pearlsdiamondsandvodka]

the sandra lynn / fig conversation is driving me Insane. fig saying that sometimes she doesn’t wanna exist as herself at all…not wanting to ask her friends how they see her (because she’s afraid to hear their response) saying that to someone she is a monster and she Cannot stop thinking about it. sandra lynn starting the conversation saying she needs to step up but is also simultaneously taken aback about what fig expresses and doesn’t know how to responds to it and suggests getting ice cream. sandra lynn saying “convincing people they deserve good things is really tough” talking about herself but how it also reflects fig. insane!!

#if that conversation had kept going I would have started bawling!! #fully believe brennan was like ‘well oh shit this is getting dark and heavy quick let’s uh get some snow cones’ #I will say I think Emily does a beautiful job here of showing teenage life #not a universal experience perhaps but definitely a common one #feeling so lost and insecure in who you are and under so much pressure to be a certain way #and her saying she doesn’t wanna exist #vs me resonating with ‘I don’t wanna die sometimes I wish I’d never been born at all’ lyrics #it was hard to watch ngl but it’s also bc Emily does Such a good job w emotional scenes!! #that woman is so emotionally invested you get emotional invested as well #if Emily axford cries I cry with her #and loved to see more of Sandra Lynn again <3 #damn good scene #dimension 20 #fantasy high #fantasy high spoilers #fantasy high junior year #fig faeth #sandra lynn faeth #emily axford #brennan lee mulligan

[prettyboykatsuki]

oliver talking his partner through it and calling him d**** god your brain is so huge my stomach hurts thinking about this. he’ll never tell you he loves you to your face and tries to fuck you more like he hates you because he doesn’t want to get too attached but as you’re getting close he’s all in your face and your neck, teasing you, biting your ear and softly begging you to tell him how you feel, how it’ll be better for him if you tell d**** just how close you are and how much you need him. takes you over the crest so sweetly, and continues rolling into you, chasing his own. his kisses are nonstop and so overwhelming, and he knows they are but he just really needs to connect with you like this. never the first to say “i love you” but unfortunately (in his opinion) he expresses it in so many other ways. sorry.

but i crumble completely when you cry | a. oliver

✮ tags ; DADDY KINK, afab + fem!reader, situationship!oliver, hooking up, unresolved romantic tension, p in v, praise, soft sex, it gets emotionally strange, riding, creampies, unprotected sex, under-negotiated kink in a sense though oliver is very careful

✮ wc ; 2.2k (i dont want to talk about it)

✮ a/n ; anon im going to haunt your dreams for putting this absurd image into my head when i dont even go here im crying screaming throwing up ive been thinking about it for hours. hours of my life wasted on this guys dick. upsetting!!!!!

also i do not write this often and do not plan too again any time soon so if ur seeing this and thinking about following me for content like it i would not recommend!!!

✮ synopsis ; you don't trust oliver with your heart or your feelings. nor do you expect anything from him.

but it's hard not to lean into him when he decides to cradle you so gently.

Your relationship with Oliver is both very ambiguous and very clear.

There's a line drawn, and you both steer clear of crossing it in your interactions. Oliver is fun. He's attractive and charming, a massive flirt but just genuine enough to be interesting.

It helps that he's hot. Physically, he's got an unreal build.

He's an athlete, so he's big. Wide chest and strong arms, thick thighs and the height to top it off. He's 6'3, and he's sexy (and his dick is huge) - and you sleep with him because of that. You don't date him explicitly because he's a womanizer. If you'd met when you were a little younger, a little more naive - you might've tried to dog-train him into being your boyfriend.

Because on top of the immaculate dick, he's fun to be around. He's funny, he drinks well, he's not a scumbag in the ways that turn you off.

You're old enough to know better. You have a career. You're too busy, and too jaded about love to try and fix whatever weird shit he has going on. So even if the two of you harbor some sort of emotional or romantic feelings for each other, you're smart enough to not get invested in those feelings and smart enough to have no expectations.

Oliver is your fun. He's your sneaky link, your weekend off. You come to him to blow off steam. You have rough, fast sex and it's good. Sometimes you chill afterwards, and you'll indulge each other in some physical affection but other times you take your shower and leave. It's a good time, and you know well enough not to ever ask him for any of your emotional needs. You have your therapist and girl friends for that.

Normally, when you're having a rough week - it's prime time to go to him. He'll fuck you a little harder than usual, and sometimes he's nice enough to kiss it better. But it's still, very distinctly, never crossing that boundary.

But some weeks, like this week - shit is bad. Not just stressful bad, but everything in the fucking world that could go wrong, is going wrong bad. It's not the kind of thing you can get over by compartmentalizing and even when you try to do your usual thing it doesn't really work.

You're trying right now - to get over the fucked up week you had. And you're turned on, but somehow - it's still not enough to get you completely out of it.

Oliver pauses mid stroke, in missionary - hetero-chromatic eyes staring you down as your thoughts are somewhere else completely. You don't notice the first time he stops, or the first time he calls you.

And he only gets your attention by cupping your face and making you look at him. You startle as you cast your glance his way.

"What's with you?" He asks, though he's not pissed or anything "Not feelin' it? Want me to stop?"

"No, you don't have too."

"Not what I asked," He chastises, letting go of your face "Not having your full attention is making me go soft,"

This makes you laugh, and Oliver cracks a smile seeing the tension melt off your face if only slightly.

"I'm cool with stopping." He assures. You let your hand reach up to his shoulder.

"It's not like I want to stop, necessarily? Like I wanna do something to get my mind off it and sex feels like the best option, but you know how it goes sometimes," You say, trying your best to avoid the emotional baggage of your words "We can stop though. I'll pay you for your wasted time," You tack the joke on at the end to ease the tension.

You're expecting him to pull out and stop, or maybe challenge himself into fucking you so good that you forget. Something more quintessentially Oliver than what he does do.

He gives you a blank look first, than a laugh that is a touch too sincere for you to be comfortable "That bad of a week?"

You're suddenly in dangerous territory. Somehow, this strange intimacy makes all the hairs on the back of your neck stand up. You swallow thickly, the emotions coming over you so quick you end up looking away.

"Yeah. You know. It's fine, but you know."

"Mm," He says. He leans into your space. His breath is warm and his stubble tickles your skin as he whispers in your ear. You feel your breath hitch. And the air feels heavy "Wanna try somethin' else?"

"Like what?"

"A surprise," He says first, and find your stomach tightening. A hollowness in your nerves "Gotta trust me."

"You're scaring me." You joke.

"I'm a sex expert, you know?" Oliver says, humming against your skin "If I can't remedy your little problem with my dick, it's bad for my street cred. My yelp reviews will tank."

"You're such a dumbass."

"Do you trust me?"

You don't know how to answer. Yes, for the most part. Not with everything, but with your pleasure at least. Whatever this is, it doesn't feel the same. But you say yes, anyways. Oliver kisses your jaw in reply, then he pulls out.

He flips position easily. He ends up on his back, then he grabs you to rest on top of him. You're not sure what you're expecting. He holds you by your hips as your sex hovers over his cock. His thumb is rubbing circles into your skin as he sinks you down slowly onto him.

You only stare at him, mouth opening as you feel him stretch you open for a second time.

You're more aware of it this way. He's so thick, and so intrusive - and normally, you're feeling that in hard strokes. Fast and rough, like something knocking into your cervix. But like this, he's hitting a deep angle. You can feel every curve, every inch, as you come down slowly.

He keeps you there. For longer than you'd expect. Just keeps you, settles you, holds you gently. You stare at him as he grabs your hand, locking your fingers. Your first instinct is to panic, or crack a joke - but there's an intense look in his eye that shuts you up.

Uncharacteristically gentle, you find yourself frightened. Oliver's hands reach for you again. They hold your waist and slide up the planes of your body. He holds your tits in his palms and squeezes.

He does this a lot, but there's not usually this much touching. This much foreplay. It's grabby, a deeper pressure. He doesn't...feel you, in the way he is now. You stare at him, and he looks back at you so fondly you feel a strange urge to pretend it never happened.

"Play with your clit," He says, though there's no urgency in his voice.

Deep and smooth, the timbre in it has you shaking. You listen, on auto-pilot as you play with yourself clumsily and build a slow pressure. He just watches.

"C'mere, baby. And don't stop touching yourself."

Another pause. It's not the first time he's called you that. He likes to call you all sorts of things when you're fucking, and baby is one of the few. But not like that. Not like this. He gives you a lazy, self satisfied smile and encourages you by placing a hand on where he can reach on your low back.

You lean down, and Oliver tucks you into his chest. He's warm, and strong - and smells so good, like musk and cologne. Your free hand is on his chest, as he grips your hips and fucks up into you.

"That's it," His voice is pleasant to your ears. It feels funny to you "Just gotta listen to me."

He starts fucking you slowly. It's a familiar feeling, a pleasant stretch that dulls into a euphoric fullness. But it's never been this slow before. Each thrust is slow, and punctual, and so deep you feel yourself gasping. It's not enough to push you over the edge, but it's enough to make your mind feel a little numb.

You think he's going to keep at you like this, maybe edge you to take you out of it. But he doesn't. He keeps his pace.

"Had a hard time this week, didn't you, tough girl?" He mumbles, so low it doesn't feel real. You feel your heart start to race. You feel your throat start to close around something, choking "Did a good job and came to me. Gonna let me take care of it?"

You stumble. You aren't sure what to say, you nod and hope he feels it. He laughs a little. You can't be sure if you're fucking Oliver or not.

You know it's him but he's never been like this. Not once. Not ever.

"Gonna let daddy take care of you?" He says, though it's tentative. Your breath hitches. Something strange overwhelms your senses "Tell me, baby."

"Uhm," Your first reaction is a sense of resistance, an immediate pull away. Not that you hate it but you aren't sure how to adjust. You squirm, but you don't tell him no. You feel like you can't in this state "Uh-uh,"

He keeps surprising you, pressing his lips to yours where you hover over him, tender as he ups the pace of his thrusts.

"That's what I like to hear," He almost sounds proud "You'll hurt your head if you think too much. And I'd be a bad daddy, letting that happen, yeah?"

A vulnerable, foreign sensation drives you to speak "You're not bad in that way."

He laughs "Just in other ways, right?"

You giggle "Uh-huh."

"But not in this one," He repeats, very carefully. He fucks into you harder now, pays extra special attention to you. It's all for you, is what he's saying in a language completely foreign yet somehow so known. One only the two of you will ever know fully, confined in the four walls of this room "Daddy is good at taking care of you like this, so you should let him do just that. Tough girls always need their daddies, hm?"

It's what ends up tipping you up over the edge. You cling to him, succumbing to whatever weird space the two of you have fallen into you. Suspended in this odd sense of comfort that Oliver has thrust you in unannounced.

You don't trust Oliver with a lot, and this is more than what you should ever find yourself giving. In the back of your head you think you should pull away.

But he's comforting. It feels good, and strangely feels safe - and even for all the ways he's awful, you trust he'd never do anything bad to you. Even if it's a blip in the timeline, for now it's what you need. A blurry cross into your emotional needs that translate into your physical ones. Too much and so overwhelming, you hug closer to him and take a deep breath.

"Mm," You let yourself lean into him. Just this once, you promise yourself. "I wanna cum."

"Want it a little harder?"

"Mhm,"

"Then Daddy will give it to you a little harder, yeah? Anything for you." He says, and you try not to think to deeply on what that really means. Because even in this state you know it's not nothing, but you should never pry "Daddy can give you anything you want."

"Yeah?"

He chuckles a little as he fucks into you hard. Fucks into you how you need. You're wet enough, and wondering if you were always so into being doted on. Or if it's just the fact that it's Oliver. Another thing you decide to overlook as you zero in on the sensation of being pistoned from underneath. You're soaking. The room noisy with the sticky noise of Olivers cock penetrating you over and over, skin hitting skin as his hips press against your ass. His grip is bruising but not intentionally, his chest huffed in pleasure.

He's just as close as you are, you know all of his cues. You play with your clit faster, sensitive bud throbbing hard as all the blood rushes south. Your mouth has fallen open as the slow, thick desire coiling and culminating into something cosmic. Something big and heavy, but not too fast. Not a crash landing like you're used to.

But a single weight, the force of a star dropping to Earth. You figure Oliver is the gravity in your universe, holding you down so you don't float too far. You want to cling onto him for much longer.

And somehow, you're inclined to think he would let you.

"Oliver," You say his name as it builds, then decide on something else "Daddy,"

"I'm here, baby," He says back, like it's all he has to say for everything to make sense when nothing about this does "I'm right here. Let go."

So you do. You cum hard, and it comes in long never ending waves. Too much. It makes you collapse in Olivers arms, both arms coming around his neck as he continues to fuck you through the aftermath.

"Gonna," He voices, rasping as his thrusts become sloppy "Shit. Cumming, shit."

He cums with you, cums deep inside like usual and you mewl at the feeling of being filled with hot, sticky seed.

When it's over, you're almost afraid to look at him. When the tensions settled, and his chest goes back to it's steady breaths - you wonder whats going to happen next.

"Wanna stay like this for a while?"

You nod.

"Mm. Sleepy."

"Stay like this, then. I'll wake you in a little."

"So you can kick me out?" You joke, trying to pretend nothing is different. He pauses.

"Just to shower," He whispers, hand resting on your lower back "Sleep."

There's too much to think about. Tomorrow will be strange. You let yourself succumb to your own exhaustion.

"Okay."

#return to sender #daddy kink cw #oliver x reader #oliver aiku x reader #oliver aiku smut #bllk x reader #bllk smut #writing tag #this wouldve become a 10k fic if i was not so fucking careful

[m3r1m4r5u333]

Eddie is one of my favorite characters because I genuinely do enjoy flawed characters, but at the same time... The utter lack of self-awareness this man has??? Makes me want to scream!!

The sheer audacity, to be like

"Umm hey so Chris is a player, so Buck will you plz come and I dunno, give him a parental "Playing-With-Peoples'-Emotions-Is-Bad"-type talking to? You'll know how to talk about being a player - I don't. Because I don't know shit about playing, I am a NESTER. I nest!"

Aaargh. !!!!EDMUNDO!!! When will you wake up to reality, you utter moron!

Guess what, you do have experience of playing with emotions!!

Because hey, you are actually the WORST type of player!!! You play with peoples' feelings BY NESTING!!

You have a freaking history of meeting a woman and then very fast jumping into playing house with them... While you fake being emotionally invested in them!!

AND while you do that, you also trample on the emotions of the person - by person I mean Buck - you actually ARE so clearly invested in.

I mean. Wasn't it YOU, who impregnated a woman, asked her to marry you, and then fucked off to a freaking warzone?! Recall Shannon tearfully telling you that she just needed you to have her back? Does that ring ANY bells in that dim mind of yours?

Remember Ana, the woman you asked out, introduced to your son, played family with, and then broke up with - admitting that you'd asked her out because you'd just liked the idea of you two as a couple?!

You liked Ana as a concept, not a person, while making her think that you're really into her. That's playing with emotions, Eddie, you total moron!

And hey, remember Buck? The man you keep pulling close and then pushing back?

You make him feel like you're a FAMILY, you make these really heartfelt speeches in which you declare how IMPORTANT he is to you,

you basically invite him to raise your child with you... And then nevermind, you're off to play house with someone else!!

It's so freaking hot and cold, the poor man must be getting whiplash!!!

Really. You get shot, you tell Buck you've made him your child's legal guardian, that it's literally in your will...

Hey Eddie. Weren't you dating Ana when you told him that?

Then you stare at Buck in the face, the man who has been so ingrained in your family... who puts your child to bed, helps him with his homework, takes him to the zoo, survives a freaking natural disaster with your child, who sleeps on your couch, cooks for you, plays video games and board games with you three like a family, who you fucking flirt with...

And you look him in the eyes, and talk about your girlfriend,

say that "we became a ready-made family and I don't know if I'm ready for that!!!

Who even is this "we", Eddie? You and Ana and Chris?! You and Buck and Chris?! Do you know? Does he know?

Aaargh. YOU ARE A PLAYER!! REALISE IT, YOU FUCKER!! You play with everyone's emotions, even your own, you're so freaking stupid!

And really, then the audacity to ask Buck to have a talk with Chris about "playing with emotions"...

Hey Eddie, since we're talking about playing, if you need someone to help you with parenting, here's an idea, why don't you ask your GIRLFRIEND??!

And do tell, when you supervise your son's date with the woman you're dating... How is it not your date, as well.

And again, the utter bizarreness of making it "clear" to Buck that you're not going on a date with the woman you're dating when you meet up with her.

Really, what will it take for you to grow some brains, Eddie? When will it dawn on you what an emotional mindfuck you are?!

What does it take?

Buck AND your date performing an alarmingly poignant and heartfelt duet of "Quit playing games with my heart" at Chimney's and Maddie's wedding?!

You vex me. YOU VEX ME!!!

Okay I need a cup of tea, I'm not well. It's too much.

#buddie gifs #911 buddie #buddie #eddie diaz #evan buckley #buddie 911 #evan buck buckley #911 on abc #eddie díaz #shannon diaz #ana flores #marisol the diy lady #my emotions #Smoothbrain Eddie

[wildpeachfarm]

I was catching up on the latest, and something i saw while scrolling past a fair number of previous asks is people feeling guilty about wanting to know / questioning caitis intentions.

To put some perspective on this, I'd like to relate it to another major event that had conflicting emotional and moral sides painting the situation as black and white. The warring media & news outlets during the height of the pandemic. I bring this up not to debate sides or politics in any way, but because it taught me a very valuable lesson about intent. To sum up, I was a very scared young woman with serious medical issues hearing doom and gloom over the news, conflicting information and updates, and my mental health plummeted drastically. I was so angry and upset all the time, and it was a constant topic throughout my days. But while ranting to someone more mature than me, they brought to my attention that my reaction was the intent. My obsessive viewership for the latest updates was the intent. They taught me to ask myself, what does this person or information source gain from my knowing and reacting and it changed how I process these situations.

Now, I won't rehash every little thing, and I'm not disregarding anyone's experiences or feelings, but time and again, caiti has made me question her intentions with the way she's handled the situation. Because I'm reminded of when I was a teenager and posted a couple long-winded rants on Facebook about emotional abuse from my parents. Did that make my experience any less valid? Absolutely not. Was there a lot of "my reality was not THE reality"? YES - I was an ADHD teenager with unaddressed emotional and mental health problems lacking in communication skills (but not lacking in a platform to "share my experience") and my parents were/are emotionally constipated assholes. Was I publicly posting that content to get attention, validation, and a sense of retribution against my parents? Yes. I was angry and hurting, and I wanted to hurt them back.

These examples are not the same as the situation at hand for a reason. Because perspective and intent are important. Its healthy to ask yourself what someone gains from sharing a narrative, not to be overly suspicious and question motives, but so that you as a person (or in this case, an audience member) can remain objective, keep an open mind, and not overly invest your mental health and well-being into the outcome of that narrative.

Sorry for the long rant 😅

good insight anon! Not something I had ever thought of comparing it to but I appreciate you adding this :)

#ask #anon #anti drummyache tag

[tobiasdrake]

That was sweet. Now back to the much more dismal present.

We're back to the burning question: Stabilized homunculus who's cracked the secret of curing ferals? Ghost coming to comfort Yakou in his low comprehension? Or the hallucination of a memory Yakou will never let go of?

That's a heartening thing to say. Did you crack the secret of stabilizing the defective homunculi?

There is a cure. We're probably going to use up the entire sample on Yakou as a bittersweet moment, like her greatest research was to give him a second chance at life.

But even if that's the case, the fact that she managed to do it means it can be done. Much like Real Yuma's ramen shop, it shows the value of crowdsourcing the homunculi's problems outside of just Makoto.

If stabilizing homunculi is possible, then even if Yakou uses the entire sample, it means someone else might crack this code again. It's proof-of-concept that the code can be cracked.

I am so happy right now. We can cure Yakou. We can cure the Theater Girls. We can cure Shachi. And the Priest. We can shove Huesca in a pit. We can cure Tetra's dad!

I mean, after it's reinvented, of course. I'm sure there's only going to be enough in that thing for Yakou.

Yep. One pill. Which is just kicking the can down the road; Yakou will be fine until his next death and then he's right back in this situation.

But it's proof of concept. First thing he should do as soon as he regains his mental faculties is go straight to Makoto and tell him it can be done. We need to restart homunculus research, and pore over his wife's notes extensively. Maybe take samples of Yakou's blood for testing.

T_T This is such a sweet conclusion, both for Yakou's journey and for the story as a whole.

And there she goes confusing me again. I do not know what you mean by that. Is she saying to go dig up her corpse if he can't un-feral?

It's not like he can die and join her in the afterlife. She's already got a Yakou with her in the afterlife. This one's trapped here forever.

All the same, this is such a great ending. Emotionally powerful and satisfyingly interesting all at once.

"Hard man seeks revenge because his woman was fridged" is a character archetype I generally loathe. But it works so well for Yakou. Partly because it's not what solely defines his character; There are plenty of other facets to him as well. Like most of Kodaka's characters, he's a complicated guy.

But also because of the leg-work that this DLC did to make his wife out as more than just a nice lady who died so we can be mad about it. I've seen more than a few attempts at trying to convince the audience to be emotionally invested in the dead spouse but this is the first one that's ever worked for me.

I think it's because most of the time, the dead wife winds up characterized like this saintly figure who was perfect and demure and wifely in all the "right ways", such that she never feels like her own character and comes off more like the emotional crowbar that she is. But Kodaka sat down at his computer and just hammered out a concise tale about two people who enjoy each other's company and find they have some shared interests.

With characters like these, it often winds up feeling like they were just spinning their wheels living Insert Idyllic Life and waiting for the story to start. Things won't get interesting until she dies. Sorry, but her life is the price of admission for this cool story, I guess.

But with Yakou and his wife, it's like. No. No, this was the story. A whirlwind romance besieged by assassins and gene research, that was the story of their life. The Yakou we meet when we step off that train is a broken man because, for him, the story catastrophically ended. For him, there is nothing left to tell.

...if only she had a fucking name. Come on, Kodaka! Really!? I'm shilling this love story you wrote so hard and it's between Yakou and... Amaterasu Researcher. God fucking dammit, even when you're on the ball, I want to shake you violently for the choices you make.

#master detective archives: rain code #drake plays rain code #yakou furio

[bengiyo]

Theory of Love Rewatch Ep 7 Stray Thoughts

Last time, we spent a great deal of time on the sides as Khai finally pushed Third too far. Khai learned that Third was in love with him, so he decided to drunkenly kiss Third while saying another girl's name, tell Third he didn't remember doing that, and then tell Third he was super serious about this woman. Third, having enough, joined a different group to work on a project and is distancing himself from Khai. Khai is sad about this and has gone to the beach to reflect on his feelings. Meanwhile, Bone and the professor know of their roles now, and she's asserted a professional boundary. Un and Two interacted but I don't care.

I think I like this senior. He let Khai be popular with a bunch of girls to see how shaken he was, and is connecting emotionally with Khai's dilemma.

Ep.07 Flipped

I do like that Khai is given interiority about his bisexual awakening, and he has to consider how his prior experience with women compares to any expectations he has of being with Third. I don't think Khai took his relationships with women very seriously from an emotional standpoint, so there's some layers to unpack here. He has much to lose with Third, and he's lost much already. He doesn't really get friends to lovers at this point because he damaged the friendship so much.

I like the choice to not give us Third's interior monologue for Khai attempting to make a move on him again. We've spent enough time with Third's confusion. I like him being a bit inaccessible to Khai now that we're following Khai.

I'm glad Bone is getting corrected quickly about this editing gig. I did not have interest in that being dragged out.

I'm kinda glad Third is auctioning off the films that sent him into his original spiral.

Oh, Khai, keeping the Flipped movie isn't going to fix this.

Yes, Two. I may not care about your romantic plotline, but you are correct to tell Khai to leave Third alone.

Can't you have another chance? TOO LATE, BITCH.

LOL, I love bros. You can't hang out with Third alone! Oh wait you'll do my work? Well I do like determination.

I'll give them the erection joke as Khai realizes that Third is beautiful.

Just Off characters and his little purses against the world.

I like Third being used to how horny Khai is that he doesn't even consider that he could be the source of it for once after three years.

I'm glad Two is being a hater and giving Khai shit. This is also bro behavior.

Khai's self awareness is still in development I see.

Gun really is just so gorgeous. Like goddamn.

Don't fold, Third. HOLD FAST!

Oh lord, I forgot Khai gets into a crash next episode.

I like how many people are rooting against Khai. It's what he deserves. I don't think people owe him seriousness when he's treated no one else seriously before this. I like watching him struggle to be taken seriously as he reckons with his own reputation, even if he still doesn't get it. It's funny how he thought he was making a point by deleting all those phone numbers when his lack of investment in any of them is the point. It's also interesting watching Third from the outside because he's actually rather aloof.

As always, this rewatch is sponsored by @lurkingshan with support from @waitmyturtles and @neuroticbookworm. Tagging @twig-tea by request.

#theory of love #thai bl #bl series #Ben watches

[taylortruther]

The communication could have changed over time as well. There's something called "walkaway wife syndrome" where people say that women in long term relationships who have been fighting for a long time to see change in their partners will eventually "go limp" for lack of a better term, and their partner might even think it means things are better because they're no longer fighting/their partner is no longer "nagging" them, etc. But in reality the woman has just stopped investing her emotional energy into the relationship because she's exhausted it and the only reason she hasn't left is she's getting her affairs in order (emotionally, financially, whatever), so when she does leave the guy will be absolutely shocked and say there were no signs. You see it all the time in AITA posts where the male partner says he has no idea why his wife left him but then he'll admit that he ignored her asking him to change things for years and years until one day she just gave up and stopped engaging with him in any significant way and then a few months later she's gone.

agreed. we have to assume they were on the same page earlier - it'd be hard for their relationship to last so long if they weren't both putting in effort. plus, taylor holds him in such high esteem, it's painful to imagine that never being true. but as people drift apart, become more selfish, don't get their needs met, you definitely see communication failing.

this is also similar to the "tolerable level of unhappiness" - where a partner might know their partner is unhappy, but that they were willing to live with it. then, shocker!!! she leaves.

this mentality (of going limp/passive, and ignoring it) is not gendered, but it's so common with men and women, because historically, women have had to do all the emotional and unseen labor in their relationships. as a result, they get burnt out, because they never received sufficient emotional support in return.

woops i went off into the weeds here lmao

#also related to the martyrdom that is common in mothers but that's another sociological topic and irrelevant to taylor #socio #*miscommunication

[loosesodamarble]

Hi Erika? 💕

What about 1, 20 and 26 for that fandom ask game you just posted?

Hi Lola? (I'm trying to match your energy with the question mark, though I wonder if that was an accidental punctuation...)

Thanks for the questions. Now let's get the salt pouring, folks~!/lh+j

1. What OTPs in your fandom(s) do you just not get?

So I will lead this answer with the following statement: 99% of the time, I can objectively get why people have the OTP that they do. The logic and reasoning for the ship can be written out for me and I can understand that. It's just that I would have little to no emotional investment in it. In a way, the ships I list are only ships that I don't emotionally get.

With that said...

(puts on a suit of armor)

A necessary precaution for the hornet's nest I'm about to strike.

Black Clover: Dorothy x Nozel. Mereoleona x Yami. Secre x Asta. Jack x Yami. Ichika x Ryuuya. Vanessa x Nozel.

Demon Slayer: Douma x Shinobu. Akaza x Kyoujurou.

Hero Aca: Katsuki x Shouto x Izuku (that whole triangle in any combination).

A:tLA: Zutara. Toph x Satoru (that one dude in the comics with the factory).

Again, I can see where these ships are coming from objectively (like thematically or logic of character bonds). My heart is just apparently made of stone when faced with these OTPs. I'm sorry. And that's where the discussion is ending.

(Also I have a lot more BC ships that I don't get because it's the fandom I'm actually invested in.)

20. What is the purest ship in the fandom?

Lolopechka x Gadjah.

Both in-universe and on a meta fandom level, this ship is very pure.

Gadjah is the loyal guard to the queen who sees Lolo for everything she is: a regal queen, an unsure woman still coming into her own, a clumsy sweetheart, and a soul dedicated to her kingdom and her friends. Lolopechka is the benevolent queen who puts more trust in Gadjah than anyone else, even the other Spirit Guardians. It's clear she thinks highly of him too since his confession got her so worked up. Maybe it's just her being awkward but I'm pretty sure the intended understand is that she's thrown off by the man she loves saying he loves her too.

And in the fandom, I've never encountered anything negative about the ship. Most people support the couple. And even when shipping them (mostly Lolo) with other characters, there's never any dissing of the other character. It's smaller ship with side characters and so that make it easier for the fandom to treat the ship respectfully.

26. Most shippable character?

Finral Roulacase.

Ship him with Yami or Finesse or Vanessa or Gauche (I've heard in passing in once) or Kirsch or just anyone.

My obvious favorite option is Finesse. But one of my mutuals (@/sailor-muno [currently inactive for reasons]) has an oc (Mallory) she ships with Finral and FinMal has a permanent corner of my mind for itself. Legit, I had to shake my hands to get all my jitters out because I got to chance to bring Mallory up! BUT ALSO! Nacht x Finral. I... this pair has something to it that I just need to have. They're both big brother and failures in the eyes of somebody and they're both tired of the BB's antics and Yami causes them stress and-! AASJHFLJKAHETHAEIUTHUIAEHKBJRHLGIU!

Finral has an energy that works well with a lot of characters because he is so often playing the straight man to the wildness of others. And even when he's the weirder one in the couple (see Finral x Finesse), he's still a grounded person whose moments of wildness can bring excitement into a "quiet" relationship.

#questions from the ask box #ask game #soda asides #sun shiny kalola #also i'm not tagging any fandoms or other stuff in this post #i'm not about to incite anything here

[mermaidsirennikita]

ARC REVIEW: This Could Be Us by Kennedy Ryan

4/5. Releases 3/5/2024.

Vibes: heroine-forward, single parents, finding yourself, and discovering a person who actually *sees* you

Soledad lives the affluent good life in Skyland--though she certainly relies emotionally more on her friends than her husband, Edward. The mother of three girls, she's a planner, a fixer, and the model wife. Which is why her life is so thrown into chaos when she discovers the depths of Edward's secrets--secrets exposed by his coworker, Judah Cross. At first, Soledad resents Judah for his part in the downfall of her perfect life... But as she rebuilds and rediscovers who she is independently, she finds herself growing closer to the man who's never seen her as a pretty object on a pedestal.

Both of Kennedy Ryan's Skyland books have been deeply emotional and focused on tough, realistic subjects (though they certainly aren't without humor and fun drama). This Could Be Us is definitely more heroine-forward than Before I Let Go, which I found to be more of a balanced heroine and hero's journey. That's not a critique--Soledad's a compelling, likable heroine I was instantly rooting for, and that never let up. And that's not to say that Judah isn't a hero; we see his POV, and Kennedy maps out a rich backstory for him.

I'd call this one a sort of blend between women's fiction and romance. You do get all the romance beats, and the story does center Soledad and Judah's love story. It's a slow burn with simmering tension from the moment they meet--and they do in fact meet and initially feel that tension before Soledad recognizes the depths of Edward's betrayal, and that tiny hint of dirtybadwrong is delicious. But I would say that the novel centers Soledad's individual journey just as much, and definitely more than it centers Judah's. If you're looking for a book that really makes you feel that sense of like... I don't know. Maybe A Waiting to Exhale vibe? With much more romance? This could be exactly what you want.

Quick Takes:

--Personally, I really like having someone truly hateable in a romance novel, and I kind of feel like a lot of recent releases have sort of let up on having a hardcore dickwad who just needs to go die in a fire. Well! Kennedyn certainly did let me down with Edward! The guy is a Grade A jackass, and I think the novel does a great job in the beginning of showing us how certain men can wear a woman down over the years without raising a hand against her. And in fact, because physical violence doesn't happen, emotional violence and neglect is excused because we as women have been societally conditioned to think "well, at least he doesn't hit me".

In general, I've thought a lot over the past few years about the grossness and the less-critiqued epidemic of men who just can't fucking stand being with women that shine. That's what you see here. Soledad is everything--beautiful, caring, talented. Not flawless; she's deliciously human. But she's far above her stupid husband, and rather than just being happy that he punched above his weight and won, and enjoying the woman he managed to catch, he's constantly trying to bring her down to his insecure level. Dude, that is so real, and so awful.

I kind of had a feeling pretty early on that I knew where Edward's damage was going, and you don't wait long to find out about it. But there was another thing on top of it that just made so angry for Soledad. Which speaks to the investment I had in the story, right?

--I do think.... and this is me being someone who loves a dirtybadwrong read... that while Kennedy set a strong pace by having Edward's misdeeds revealed early on, we could've used a bit more time and interactions between Soledad and Judah when she's still fully in her marriage. There's an immediate spark between them, and having some of that tension build while she's truly forbidden fruit would've been fun.

--In contrast to how shitty Edward is, Judah's ex-wife, Tremaine, is lovely. She's not a conventional ex-wife/single mom figure, and I so appreciated that on several levels.

And the thing in romance novels and the romance-reading community.... There's a real fear of depicting exes, especially female exes, in a positive light. Like, I know there are bloggers who will categorize Tremaine as an "other woman/OW" simply because she slept with Judah in the past. Never mind that she was in fact fully married to this man and had two kids with him, and has now fully moved on and supports him as a co-parent in moving on as well.

I just really loved seeing this positive but realistic depiction of co-parenting. It was also kind of a fun contrast to Yasmen and Josiah's co-parenting relationship in the previous book, as they were very clearly still in love, and Judah and Tremaine are very clearly nOT.

--A big part of Judah's side of the story is that his twin boys are both autistic. I am not an expert on the spectrum by any means, and I can't speak to the accuracy of that. Kennedy does discuss her research in a note, and it seems like she made a big effort (and she has an autistic son herself). Just wanted to call that out for curious readers or reader who hear about this but are uncertain about the perspective from which she's coming.

The Sex:

This is a sloooow burn. As in, no kissing until about the 70% mark. I'll admit, I did kind of want some action before then, but the sexual tension is great. It's just a different take than some of the other Kennedy books I've read.

After that point, you do get a few very good scenes. I really loved that one aspect of Soledad's relationship with sex was getting over some really shitty things Edward said about her body and made her feel, and the worshipful way in which Judah treated her was super great in that respect.

Also, always nice to see people who aren't like... 20-30... having hot sex in a romance novel!

While this was a slower-moving and more women's fiction-adjacent book that I expected, it's still an absorbing and deeply effective story. I really enjoyed reading about Judah and Soledad's love story, and it's definitely a great story for those who need something that meets them where they are in a journey of rebirth. Don't we all need that sometimes?

Thanks to Netgalley and Forever for providing me with a copy of this book. All thoughts and opinions are my own.

#romance novel blogging #netgalley #arc reviews #book recs #book reviews #books #romance novels

[eligobrrrrr]

Hi babes, I hope you're having a good day! For your ask game:

🐱 and 🦐

HAHA GET BOOPED BACK >:)

Anyways, Hi Chris! (Is it ok if I call you Chris?)

🦐 - tell me about a character or story that is giving you shrimp emotions right now

omg SO, I'm still very emotionally invested right now on Thurak, my dearest half-orc barbarian cus I'm still working on his story and properly writing it down, maybe do some comics on events I consider happen in-game but don't happen actually cus they're innately tied to his backstory (So character interactions, fights and stuff)

So Imma just write down a short-ish summary of his backstory just because I have to let it out somehow, it is consuming my brain like a tadpole (I am also severely breaking canon on some parts, probably)

Draft of Thurak's backstory under the cut

So Thurak was born in the surface (probably Waterdeep), son of a human man and an orc woman, they were happy as a family... for just 2 years.

Yeah so turns out a criminal organization (specifically the Iron Ring) had an eye on them and Thurak got snatched very young because of that. When he was about 2 years old he was brought to Skullport in the Underdark where he was raised by one of the high commands of the Iron Ring, a male drow whom is currently unnamed. He was tasked to raise him and turn him into an useful asset for them

This drow was his father figure growing up, teaching him how to speak and how to read (So Thurak's main language isn't common, is drowidic and undercommon), acting as a somewhat loving parent for him

His father introduced him to the concept of an arena the Iron Ring had to get him interested, slowly manipulating him to make him believe that he wanted to participate, and when Thurak was older his father started to get him to train to actually go into the arena

And Thurak did it ever so eagerly, becoming and absolute beast and somewhat of a star in there, earning the title of 'The Skullcrusher' (Because he was/is able to do that)

The Iron Ring is known in the Underdark for their slave trade, and in my version they use this arena as a showcase for some of them

His father actively tried to keep him away of all this slaves, mostly out of fear that they would undo all the hard work he put into manipulating him when he saw their condition (cus he lied to Thurak telling him that every warrior chose to be there)

Unfortunately he couldn't stop him and he became friends with someone there, and, well, Thurak told his father about his friend, father went "Not in my watch" and to be a lil bitch he arranged a deathmatch between the two of them

Thurak is alive so you can imagine how it went

Back at home he returned to his father absolutely fuming, basically screaming at him how he could let something like that happen, how dare he let something like that happen, father just responded like "Take it as a little lesson, don't get close to those people, now now, join me for dinner," Thurak was obviously enraged by this, still screaming at him, so his father threatened him that if he didn't behave he would throw him with the rest of his "friends" as he put it

Thurak snapped at him, almost punched him, got stopped by one of his father's bodyguards and he was, in fact, thrown with the rest of the slaves, telling him that he was very disappointed of him and to take this as his punishment. Thurak went from living in luxury to the slumps basically

He was bitter and angry and sad, he had, so many conflicting emotions at that point. There he met more of the fighters, and they slowly but surely started making a break out plan

Some time of planning passes (could be months could be a couple of years) and with Thurak's knowledge of the arena both in and out they managed a plan to break out and leave Skullport and the Underdark for good

Long story short, they succeeded, not everyone got out but most of their team did

So they returned to the surface, becoming something akin to a caravan, travelling from city to city, Thurak became one of the main protectors, he had to put to use that strength for something

They unfortunately were in Baldur's Gate at the time of the Nautiloid snatching, so Thurak (and other people from the caravan) got taken

This is some in-game event notes (This is Thurak as a companion stuff basically):

Very minor notes, his main objective would be to find the other people who got snatched, slowly finding out along the way that for some god forsaken reason the Iron Ring got somehow involved with the cult of the absolute (through the underdark slave trade)

His 'final boss' would be his father basically, still working on that interaction

He canonically is a wild magic barb and there are some lore stuff that made me point to his magic surges being probably netherese magic

Mostly cus Skullport is built atop netherese ruins and the tadpole probably awaken some residual power Thurak was carrying with him

SO YES, that is all my notes from Thurak's backstory

He is making me go absolutely mental I love him sm I need to do more stuff with his story (as in write, art, etc.)

Anyways thank you for the ask! I love talking about my silly (sometimes not so little) guys!

#EliAnswers #tashas-cauldron-of-magic-soup #EliGoCharacters #Tav: Thurak #<- Few times I actually use this tag here hjadakfjhak

[andhumanslovedstories]

I'll put my bias right up front: I'm someone who loved The Sandman ten years ago in high school where it was tremendously influential and meaningful to me, but I haven't read it in the intervening years. So all interaction I have with the show is a combination of nostalgia, overanalysis of my youth's media that I haven't thought about in a while, half-remembered recognition of story elements that blasted my tits off a decade ago, and a constant questioning attitude of "wait did they change that or did I not remember it correctly".

For me, the main problem of The Sandman TV show is that while the show is quite good at depicting the supernatural world, I don't like the plotlines with the straight up humans because I do not recognize their characterization as based in the real world. And unfortunately since Rose is our primary outsider to the magic world we spend time with, she becomes the crux of my issues. (I dislike Lyta and her plotline a lot more, but her characterization is not nearly as important to making the entire back half of the story work.)

Neither Rose nor Jed seem to react to their situations in a way that makes sense to me. Rose reacts to everything from "I have a long lost 118 year old great grandmother who gave birth while in a coma?" to "my friend is pregnant with her dead husband's dream baby" to "my brother who has disappeared from a house where his foster family has been murdered and now I'm getting a call from a man who just randomly has him and is driving him out of state" with the same level of like "huh. well that was weird." It makes sense when Abel reacts nonchalantly to his own murder because he's a mythological figure endlessly reenacting his own story. It doesn't make sense when Rose is as emotionally blasé about seeing a guy murder someone in front of her and then offer her a hotel room, because despite her role as a vortex, she's also a human being and we more or less know how humans generally react to things. You can (and should!) have characters act counter to our expectations, but you need to do the narrative character work.

But also part of this is the fault of the conceit. Like ROSE GIRL your ability to fall asleep at the drop of a hat no matter happened last scene or the current emotional stakes? Undercuts narrative tension. I think the show could do a much better job with Rose's characterization over all because the cumulative effect of her scenes and her character decisions are of someone barely invested in the strangeness and stakes of what's going on around her.

(I'm also struggling to articulate how race fits into this and I hope someone smarter can better explore that or dispute me, but the change of Rose from a blonde white woman to a dark skinned black woman with relatively little changes to her story leaves some scenes feeling...unresolved? Like Rose, a black woman, raising her voice to the social worker who won't tell her about her brother, and then Lyta, a white woman, comes back privately to apologize for Rose's anger, at which point the social worker goes to check on this black child being fostered by two white people, in a room where the vibes are so rancid, and the social worker is like "I don't need to talk to the child privately, this is a good placement and I'm a good social worker"--there's something there! I don't know if the tv show should have pointed at that and gone "hey this is racism" but it feels underdeveloped in a way that undercuts the story line. It feels almost inorganic, or like a wasted opportunity to place Rose concretely in her surroundings in the waking world. But like I said, I am still thinking about this and would very much welcome other people's thoughts.)

I don't love being bothered by these things! It's very boring to watch an epic sprawling mythology like The Sandman and to be distracted by thoughts like "ummm actually it's wild that two people can just steal badges and sneak into the serial killer convention, is this one pedophile the only security at this function." Because if Rose was not there, I wouldn't be thinking that! It would be this surreal atmosphere unmoored from our reality. I'd be like sure! A serial killer convention! I love this! (And I really did love it in the comics, and might be misremembering its execution because it is such a dope idea for a setting. Such a dope idea can transcend issues of execution.) But instead, we have two outsiders, two human characters interacting with this convention, and instead of their presence grounding the scene with horrible reality, it's still so dreamlike. It feels neither magical enough to transcend nitpicks about logistics nor grounded enough to provide a contrast to the magical world and dreaming.

Anyway, genuinely looking forward to season two.

#the sandman #long post

[witchybitchy222]

Azriel x Reader | Renewal

Chapter Two

Azriel x Female Reader

Based on this ask:

“My brain literally will not shut up about reader from our world who is actually the reincarnation of Rhy’s sister (and Az’s mate duh)but NONE of them realize it until she dies/gets put into the cauldron and is brought back as high fae”

THANK YOU again for all the support! Sorry this part took forever, all this exposition is hard to write when I just wanna get to the good stuff lol Enjoy!!

Chapter one:

——————————————————————————

Y/N

You thanked the waiter as he set down your glass of lemonade and glanced at your watch, 12:47, you should’ve known, Cora was late to everything. You looked back at the menu trying to decide between a salad and a sandwich when Cora dropped herself into the seat across from you with a sigh.

“I know, I know, I’m late” she began “but to be fair, I had to wait for the subway because that guy who smells like feet and sits way too close to any woman he spots was on there and I was NOT dealing with that today.”

“I’ll accept that” you said with a laugh.

“Soooo” Cora began as she wrapped her braids up into a bun “how was your date last night?”

“Ugh,” you rolled your eyes

“That bad?” Cora asked, eyebrows raised.

“Horrible.” You began, “he forgot to take off his wedding ring.”

“What an ass! Men are literally the worst.” Cora said, scrunching her face up in disgust.

“Tell me about it, I’m so over dating. I’ve accepted that I’ll never have sex again” You say, taking a sip of your lemonade.

“Maybe if you could hookup without getting emotionally invested it’d work out better for you.” Your friend laughed.

The waiter came over to take your order, you could hear yourself talking, but things started to go out of focus and eventually the whole restaurant faded from view.

You opened your eyes with a gasp. A dream. It was a dream. But it felt so real. Was it a memory?

You pushed the blankets off and swung your feet onto the floor. You went to the bathroom and braided back your hair before choosing some comfortable clothes to wear. You couldn’t stop replaying the dream, trying to see if there was anything that stood out enough to spark more memories, if it even was a memory.

You planned to meet with Rhysand and His second in command this morning. The High Lord had said Amren was good with spells and might be able to dig up something to trigger your memory. You’d have to ask her opinion on your dream.

You heard voices as you headed downstairs. There were paintings hanging along the wall you wanted to admire, but didn’t want to keep the fae waiting, so you continued on, making a mental note to come back and look at them later.

You walked down the hall to an open door and took a deep breath before walking into the room. The female you assumed was Amren stood across the room, between the fireplace and window. Two dark green plush chairs were placed in front of the hearth, the High Lord occupied one, dressed impeccably in a black suit, one leg propped up on the other, an easy smile on his face.

“Good morning, I hope you slept well.” He said as you entered. He gestured for you to take the other seat.

You sat a little nervously, feeling Amren’s eyes on you.

“This is Amren, my second in command.” Rhysand gestured to the female.

“I’m Y/N” you said with a slight smile.

“Oh I know all about you” Amren replied with a slightly unnerving smile. You swallowed thickly and looked to Rhysand. Amusement swam in his blue eyes, eyes you only now realized were strikingly similar to your own.

“I had a dream.” You told him.

He rose one eyebrow, his mouth slightly curving up at the sides.

“I mean, it may have been a memory” you quickly added, glancing at Amren who’s face revealed no emotion.

“Can I see?” Rhysand asked you. You nodded hesitantly, remembering what he told you the day before about his and Feyre’s powers to communicate with their minds. A shiver went down your spine as you felt him enter your brain. It wasn’t unpleasant necessarily, but your thoughts became harder to control. You felt yourself thinking of your dream, recalling the images and words.

Once he’d seen it all, Rhysand eased off and sighed.

“I’ve seen enough dreams and memories over the years to know it wasn’t just a dream.” He stated, glancing at Amren. “And it confirms what we already believed, you’re not of this realm.”

You had of course already suspected this, but hearing how certain Rhysand was made your stomach drop.

“I believe you’re here for a reason. We’ve checked with the other courts around Prythian and no one else has had an unexpected visitor. There must be a reason you’re here, not only in this realm, but in this court.”

“Normally I wouldn’t believe in this being an act of fate,” Amren began, “but your eyes lead me to believe otherwise.”

You looked again to Rhysand, his eyes unnervingly similar to yours.

“I’ve only known three other people to have this specific eye color,” he said, leaning forward on his elbows, “my son, who inherited them from me, my mother, and my sister. Both of whom have been dead for centuries.” Rhysand’s face flashed with a brief flicker of pain, and you noted that it must’ve been an unexpected death for them both. You furrowed your brows in confusion, “what do you think it means?” You glanced between the two, unsure what they could be alluding to.

Rhysand sighed, “we don’t know. Maybe you’re from the same lineage as me, just in an alternate reality? Maybe you’re your realm’s equivalent of me? Maybe it’s just a common eye color in your world. Honestly we don’t have much to go off of.” This was all so confusing, something was a hint, but didn’t give any information? At your frown Rhysand spoke again “It’s a great lead that you were able to dream a memory though, this means they’re still buried in your subconscious. Amren can look for a way to pull them out, and Feyre and I can help you strengthen your mind. Maybe focusing on sharpening your brain will push some more memories to the surface.”

Azriel

Y/N laughed at something Mor said as she browsed the items in Mor’s favorite boutique in downtown Velaris. Damn that laugh, it was too distracting. He’d agreed to go shopping with them for honorable reasons, Rhys had asked him to keep an eye on her. They still didn’t know much about Y/N, and while the High Lord seemed to trust her, there was no telling when her memories would come back, and what that would lead to. He was normally so focused, catching little details and storing information was what he was good at, but there was something about this woman that made it hard to focus on anything but the way she smiled, and how her laugh sounded.

He followed behind Y/N and Mor as they headed back to the river house, trying to listen in on their conversation without getting distracted.

“So how’d it go with Rhys and Amren this morning?” Mor asked her as she linked their arms together.

“Fine, I guess.” Y/N replied, sighing a bit. “We still don’t know much, Amren has some theories she’s going to look into, and Rhysand wants to help me sharpen my mind. He thinks I may have some kind of mental block that won’t allow me to access my memories.”

Mor frowned, “I suppose that would make sense. Maybe you suffered some kind of trauma? What do you think, Az?”

They both turned to look at him, and for a moment his eyes caught Y/N’s and he forgot how to breathe, then she blushed and looked away and he regained control.

“I don’t know,” he began, “it’s nothing I’ve seen before. But if anyone can figure it out, it’s Rhys and Amren. Between the two of them they have enough knowledge and resources to help.” Y/N gave a small nod at that, and his heart swelled a bit in thinking that he had made her feel better, even if it was the tiniest bit. Cauldron, he couldn’t be developing feelings for her. He knew nothing about her! She was just a human woman who needed their help. Sure she was painfully beautiful, but he should be able to control himself. He was halfway through his fifth century, a crush wasn’t going to keep him from focusing on his job.

Y/N

Feyre found you before dinner and started teaching you how to fortify your mind. She’d explained it like building a wall, a wall so thick and solid no one could penetrate it, and inside that wall was you. Your thoughts, feelings, memories, everything.

You were concentrating on placing yourself behind that wall when you felt Feyre’s presence approach you. You squeezed your eyes shut tighter and tried to focus on keeping her out. You knew she wasn’t pushing as hard as she could, and nothing about what she was doing was painful, but you were determined not to let her in.

“Good, Y/N” Feyre praised as she slid up to the wall. “Your foundation is good, but there are still some gaps that could be easily exploited” she explained as you felt her gently push her way into your mind.

“Ugh” you sighed and opened your eyes. “This is so much harder than I thought it’d be.”

“You’re doing great!” Feyre said with a smile. You shot her a small glare, she was being too kind.

“Really!” She said, “it’s only your first try and you’ve built a pretty solid wall already. It’s hard to do, but with more practice you’ll get better. Now stop pouting and let’s go eat.”

You followed her out of the room to the dining hall, your stomach grumbling after exerting all that energy trying to keep the High Lady out of your mind.

Dinner was mostly uneventful, it was only you, Feyre, Rhys, Nyx, and Mor, and as much as you hated to admit it, you were sad Azriel hadn’t joined. He hadn’t said much on your outing with Mor that afternoon, but something about being in his presence was calming.

After dinner you took a long hot bath and threw on one of the night dresses Mor had bought you earlier. It was a bit skimpier than you liked, but the material was soft and comfortable. You tried to rest, but sleep wouldn’t claim you, so you grabbed a long, silk robe in the most beautiful shade of blue, also purchased by Mor, and headed downstairs.

You thought about stopping to admire the paintings you’d seen earlier, but it was too dark to see them properly and you didn’t want to wake anyone by turning on any fae lights.

You eventually found yourself in the library and figured you might as well settle in there for a while.

You’d been so engrossed in your reading you didn’t notice anyone else had entered until a fae light flicked on by the door. You jumped a bit, but immediately relaxed when you turned to see it was Azriel who had come inside.

“You’re up late.” He said as he came to sit in the chair across the table from you.

“I couldn’t sleep,” you started “so I figured I’d come learn as much as I could about this realm, see if anything sparked a memory.”

Azriel stared at you, then at the books spread across the table, all detailing histories of Prythian. You could never tell what he was thinking. His face was neutral but you could tell his mind was working, trying to calculate something. It was clear he didn’t trust you. You blushed a bit at that thought, annoyed by how upset it made you, when one of his shadows reached across the table and glided across your hand. You gasped as you watched it retreat back to its master. You’d been told of Azriel’s unique abilities, but this was the first time you’d seen the shadows at work. They were beautiful, like sentient smoke blending in with the darkness in the room around you.

You looked up to find Azriel watching you, yet again, and realized something. This wasn’t the first time you’d seen those shadows, he’d been watching you.

“I’m not a threat, you know.” You said to him, angry he’d felt the need to take away your privacy by constantly watching you.

His eyebrows shot up, and he looked almost amused, which of course only made you angrier. “You realize saying that unprompted only makes you seem guilty, right?” He asked you.

You felt your face flush and crossed your arms in anger. “I can barely remember who I am, I’m not here to hurt anyone. Besides, I’m a human in a house filled with powerful fae, I couldn’t do anything even if I tried.”

“I know that.” Azriel replied, his face staying aggravatingly neutral.

“Then call of your little shadows and stop watching me in my private rooms! It’s creepy!”

He smirked at that and you let out a grunt of frustration, you were trying to be serious and all he could do was laugh at you.

“It’s my job to watch people” he said with that stupid smirk on his face.

“Well just, tone it down, would you?” You asked, exasperated with the whole conversation.

“Deal.” He said, his face going back to neutral.

“Good.” You said as you stood up and left the library. He was so frustrating, constantly glaring at you and judging your every move, and now he was laughing at you? He may be crazy attractive, but he was kind of an ass, and you were determined to be done drooling over him.

You threw yourself into bed, swearing you were done thinking about him.

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@amdiriel

#a court of thorns and roses #acotar #azriel #azriel x reader #send me asks #mine #renewal #azriel x female reader #witchybitchy222

[thecarnivorousmuffinmeta]

What would happen if Esme was Edward's mate? Carlisle transforms Esme and BUM! She and Eddie are in love. How different would be the dynamics in the family? Would Edward still run away to be Batman? Would he come back? And so on. (Sorry for so many questions xD)

I mean, I don't believe in mates, so I'm not the one to ask.

I guess it's more "what if Edward decided that Esme was Lover and not Mother"

He May Have Problems, but Not the Ones You Think

He's alright in the Carlisle arena. Carlisle upon turning Esme did not initially pursue her. Edward, in fact, had to point out Esme's feelings for Carlisle and tell Carlisle "you're totally into her two, man". The guy was oblivious.

So, if Edward goes for Esme, you don't have Carlisle too upset as he never realized he wanted to be with Esme either.

The trouble is Esme.

First, Edward is visibly and emotionally young. He looks baby faced enough to pass for fifteen, is in fact seventeen, and has the clear emotional maturity of a teenager. You look at Edward and you think "not a man yet". Esme, by all accounts of having been interested in Carlisle (who on meeting him was an older, professional, figure posing as an adult) is not interested in the younger men.

The ease with which she treats Edward as a son, as someone younger than her who needs her support, also speaks to her never considering him a romantic option.

Then you get to Esme's backstory. Much of her history is defined by her affection for Carlisle. At sixteen she meets this doctor who quickly leaves town and falls in love with the idea of him. She then meets back up with him, years later, is turned into this crystal person, gains a son.

She has no reason to not be interested in Carlisle in favor of Edward.

And Edward showing interest in her... Well, it may bring her back from Planet Esme because how do you tell Carlisle this is getting weird that his pseduo-brother/son totally wants to bang you.

I imagine as Edward makes his intentions clear they develop an extremely uncomfortable relationship.

Edward is Also Edward

Edward has two paths (both of which are likely for him). One is that he gaslights Esme into thinking she's actually in love with him and not Carlisle. Being a telepath, this is more convincing than you'd think, as he can say both thoughts you've had (and hadn't) back to you and convince you, "You're totally thinking that"

The trick, of course, is for Esme to not feel horrified and guilty for creeping on Carlisle's son. Which means that Edward has to gaslight Carlisle to make it okay to gaslight Esme. It's a giant mess.

Edward also would likely consider himself unworthy of Esme and may push her together with Carlisle (who he sees as a far better person) anyway. He may also leave regardless out of frustration at his failing relationship, disillusionment with Carlisle and with Esme, etc.

Basically, I imagine everything's pretty much the same except Esme and Edward... don't talk to each other much.

Then Bella Happens

Trouble is, Bella still smells. Now, either Edward can accept that his only interest in Bella, his growing obsession, is due to that smell or he can be in love with her. We know what choice he made in canon.

In this one, I imagine it's even more so. Finally, he's moving on from Esme. He has found a real, pure, love untainted by bitterness that he never thought possible. He has found a woman perhaps even more perfect than Esme.

Esme, I imagine is very flummoxed but chooses to be supportive because thank Jesus, Edward's finally moving on. Esme is more invested in this relationship than she even was in canon.

If this works out, Christmas dinners will no longer be the most awkward events in the planet. She can have a life of not walking on eggshells anymore.

THIS HAS TO WORK OUT.

Esme's probably crying with relief at the end of Breaking Dawn, as she feels like she just survived a horror movie, when at all turns it looked like Bella Swan was going to die. But THEY MADE IT. DEAR GOD, THEY MADE IT.

#twilight #twilight meta #twilight headcanon #twilight renaissance #esme cullen #edward cullen #edward/esme #anti edward/esme #carlisle cullen #carlisle/esme #bella swan #edward/bella #anti edward/bella #twilight shipping #meta #headcanon #opinion #shipping

[sneezemonster15]

Why do like 90% of males think male homosexuality is disgusting? I read somewhere that they think it's as gross as rotten flesh 😭 also why do they laugh at it and make jokes about it too like they can't take it seriously? They're so insufferable, I see this so often. Not that I care about their opinions but they're the same kinda guys who gave yaoi loving girls the name fujoshi meaning "rotten girl" because that's how disgusting they thought they were. Freaks. It wasn't like this in ancient Greece, was it? What changed? Now they're more annoying. Before they were only misogynists and not homophobic but now they're both :/

Hah. This is one of the ramifications of the well entrenched patriarchal system in the midst of which, we live and operate. It has always been like this. Didn't happen overnight. It's intricate and quite a bit of it is invisibilised and the rest is normalised. It's better in some places, worse in others. But it's everywhere barring pockets of tribes which are matrilineal, which seem almost inconsequential in the larger picture of things.

Within the patriarchal set up, men also are conditioned to potentially satisfy certain expectations, whether it be of a provider or a leader, decision-maker. They are taught that certain things are acceptable where others are taboo. A heteronormative society, whether it be a man or a woman, would glorify or normalise heterosexuality and denigrate anything that comes into opposition with it. Heteronormativity is the narrative they grew up with, that's how they were conditioned. They were inspired by or impacted by their parents, neighbours, teachers, members of their peer group, also heteronormative, who reinforced these narratives and with time, they became a line that is not to be crossed. Taboo.

These dudebros online are just insecure little boys. That and very dumb. Naruto is shounen battle manga and most men/boys take it for granted that it's targeted at them (because it is) and they do end up enjoying it. When you have got super straight and super popular shounen MCs such as Luffy or Goku, it just reinforces the notion that Naruto also will be the same way. And Naruto the story does have all the nuts and bolts of a typical shounen manga, even if it also has a lot of other stuff that is a bit more subtle. A lot of dudebros really relate with Naruto and proudly. A lot of them incelish. Imagine how they would react to the fact that Naruto is gay. Lol. It really troubles their sense of masculine identity to think Naruto could be gay, that's why so many of them would get so bothered whenever Naruto would get super focussed on Sasuke. Lol. And so many of them think that Naruto was wrong to 'let Sasuke free' at the end. According to them, it was unpatriotic. Because that's what they think this story is about. Lol.

Like I said, most Naruto fans are way too attached to their lens. It's emotional for dudebros too. And you can't really argue with an emotionally affected illogical bigot. That's just too many odds against reason lol. They also think Itachi is hell's bells. Itachi is a Sigma male for them. I bet you can find many dudes who fangirl over both Itachi and Andrew Tate. Hahaha.

They are both misogynistic and homophobic, they have always been. Misogyny kinda goes hand in hand with homophobia with these men. Anything that threatens their narrative about men, women and their heteronormative m/f dynamic, will trigger this juvenile, bigoted behaviour in them. And their sense of entitlement as men makes them think they can get away with it. They do get away with a lot of times because reasonable fans usually don't invest in them, considering it a waste of time.

When I was in school, I had a few male members in my group. Three of these boys were very close. Straight boys. But you know, they were growing up, their hormones were welling up. One time, after graduating from school, we were drinking and one of these inebriated boys told me this. In school, after the sports period, they would take a shower together and sometimes, they would jerk each other off. Straight boys. They were curious and their sense of sexuality was not consciously set in stone. They didn't think of it as an overtly sexual act, for them, it was just boys having fun. They would get bored of jerking off themselves so someone else's hand did the trick for them. Another boy. A very good friend. When my friend later told me about it, he was aware how sexual an activity it was. He had realized that it was 'controversial', it was 'gay' and he felt guilty about it. He felt shame. So did the others, so they made a pact to never talk about it.

Kids often indulge in sexual acts while not being consciously aware about its nature. They are discovering their sexuality, their newly minted desire, their changing bodies, the unsettling surge of sex hormones. It's understandable. A lot of kids unconsciously experiment with overt or not so overt sexual acts without being consciously aware of what it implies. Which is understandable. I have heard such accounts from many men. They would never share it with another man though. Their sense of male masculine pride would shatter. Doesn't help that more often than not, there's no one to talk to them about it. Most parents don't, especially in conservative societies. No one to tell them what's right, what's acceptable, what's certainly not. Sex is still a very taboo subject among a lot of societies. Even reproductive sex, and not just recreational sex.

If someone had reassured those boys at the time, if someone had talked to them about it in a balanced way, perhaps their sense of sex and homosexuality/sexual orientation would be more mature, less prejudiced, more inclusive. Don't look at me, I was also quite young, I had not started delivering sermons and lectures yet haha. I did laugh my ass off when he told me though. It was not helpful at all. Hahahaha. You should have seen his face.

It's sad how so many grown and mature men still feel icky about homosexuality. I have seen so many of them who wouldn't be overtly homophobic but they would still show it in some way or the other. One time, i was working on a project where one of the team members was openly and flamboyantly gay, and my very 'liberal', foreign educated, upper middle class male boss hired him on an urgent basis and then appointed me to supervise him. One time, I needed some approvals so I told the boss to talk to him directly. He said no. He acted like it creeped him out, made him uncomfortable. For the rest of the project, I had to act as the liaison, which was fine for me, we became good friends. But it was pretty clear how 'open minded' my boss really was and how entitled he felt to be wearing the mantle of 'liberalism'. He was also a misogynist under the garb of feminism. Another member of the team, a woman, was fired by him. Now she was definitely to blame for her otherwise unprofessional behaviour, but one of her concerns about mistreatment by one of her own assistants (male) should have been addressed with respect. It wasn't. Instead, she was made fun of by the boss. He simply bypassed her complaint about harassment by her male assistant.

My boss would also make fun of the gay man behind his back because of his 'body language' and 'feminine' disposition. He would do it subtly, like it was just harmless ribbing, just a joke. But of course it wasn't. It was more than microaggression. It was disrespectful and very homophobic. I have seen so many men act like this, and it's crazy how so many men never talk amongst themselves about it. In my circles, they would tell me because I am not too judgmental, because I am a woman and because I am not conventionally 'feminine' in opposition to their conventional 'masculinity', which always seemed to reassure them. They thought of me as just one of the guys. I am not. I often found it funny but also quite sad.

So many of these men would open up only after getting sloshed. Their inhibitions would only be relieved when under the influence. Imagine all the energy spent on towing this line, the way both men and women are conditioned how to be.

A five minute shallow interaction online isn't going to do the trick. These men need to be rehabilitated. Their notions about sex and sexuality with respect to the world in all its inherent diversity need to be reexamined and changed where needed. It's difficult to feel sympathy for such men, yes. Some of them. But I am sure they will not be receptive to aggression, they have a degree in aggression themselves. You need to find their emotional Achilles heel, a chink in their armor, to find an in. It's honestly quite easy to crack most men. If you wanna break them, hit where it hurts most, their ego. If you wanna gain their trust, play up to their ego.

Why call them freaks? Lots of women also act like them. It's quite easy to see why they act like it too. We all come with our notions. We all have certain narratives we have grown up with. Certain hardlines we aren't supposed to cross. Certain socio politico cultural structures that reinforce these narratives that form the foundation of our lived experiences from babyhood that most people don't question, whether it be men or women. Our society was not built to be conducive to questions or challenges. It was built to repress them and eventually squash them. So obviously, we aren't able to reach an understanding about something that needs empathy and an open mind, that could really benefit with a balanced dialogue. Especially something that needs us to relook at our belief systems/established narratives. Such as feminism, homosexuality. What we don't understand, we hate or fear or revile.

One would really need to hunker down and have a proper dialogue, if you really want to change these narratives. It would take time and effort and lots of patience. You would need to invest. Build a new narrative. Look at all the ingredients that make up these narratives and start at the root. Change them one at a time. Unless that is done, one cannot convince them of Naruto and Sasuke being gay and it being a gay love story.

#ask #naruto #sns

[mrbensonmum]

TV Show - CSI: Las Vegas III

OH BOI! In the first season, Catherine becomes a symbol of double standards. Everyone is constantly reminded not to get too involved with the victim, not to get too emotionally invested. But not Catherine, because she's the strong woman in the team, the mother, the sinner who has left her sins behind and been sanctified. The same goes for assigning cases! Everyone else has to follow the supervisor's orders on which case they get, but not Catherine; because of her backstory and her role as a mother, she gets to choose repeatedly.

Sure, she's seen as an emotional contrast to Grissom, and I can understand that to some extent. The resulting emotionality in cases involving children is still bearable. But what really gets on my nerves is the fact that, because of her experiences, she sees everything from this perspective. But she ignores the fact that this is only her perspective, yet she believes it's universally valid, disregarding the fact that there are other ways to view things. I have a strong allergic reaction to that kind of behavior, and I really don't like it.

Grissom is slowly but surely becoming my spirit animal, because he often finds himself in situations that I can relate to very well, albeit on a smaller scale. Especially now at the end of the first season, there's a case where he goes against the system, and I've seen similar things happen in my surroundings many times. However, Grissom has the advantage of having his team behind him, which supports him. I never got to enjoy that luxury. Well, that's a different story for a different format.

Overall, I found the first season very solid and good; it provides a good introduction and isn't one of those "once you get through it, it gets really good" seasons. Plus, we saw faces like Dakota Fanning or Milo Ventimiglia, who had on of their first appearances here. And then there's Reginald VelJohnson (Family Matters) and James Avery (The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air), who are always a special delight for me. Both played strong father roles in 90s series, which I found very fascinating as a child and teenager. Seeing them in completely different roles here is refreshingly different, and it makes my little TV series heart beat loudly!

They've also adjusted the contrast a bit; they pay more attention to when to use cold and warm colors. An important element for storytelling, very interesting. In this context, I've been wondering when the lab will undergo a redesign and become more stylish or more glassy. I had it in mind that this happens in the first season, but so far, I haven't seen anything.

On to season two, and I'm right in the middle of it!

#csi #csi las vegas #crime scene investigation #nick stokes #catherine willows #gil grissom #warrick brown #sara sidle #greg sanders #csi vegas #csi lv #tvshow #tv show #tv shows

[furys-mercy]

dating sim ask: sebastian

Sebastian de Vairemont

Pros:

Confident

Flirtatious

Enjoys witty banter

Has a way of making you feel like you're the only person he can see in a crowded room.

Will serenade you. On violin, cello, and piano. He also sings. Quite well.

Is handsome and always extremely well-dressed.

Seems to know everyone. Or, perhaps, just something about everyone.

Will politically and socially ruin anyone who so much as looks at you funny.

Will also challenge people to duels for your honor. As an exceptional swordsman, he usually wins.

Likely a slow burn. (A pro if you like that sort of thing) While he will seem attentive, flirtatious, and interested from the start, it takes time for him to become truly emotionally invested.

Cons:

Arrogant to the point that he is prone to underestimating the people around him.

Was trained to be manipulative from a very young age and is very good at it. There is a chance his interest in you is based solely in an ulterior motive.

Will start out closed off and distant, keeping conversations on you and your hopes and dreams rather than his own true feelings. This will be a really slow burn and take quite a lot of prodding.

Comes with quite a lot of family drama. His two maternal half-siblings are hell on wheels and at least one of them would be dead set on intruding in any relationship that seems to make him happy and the other married a woman he was courting. They are likely to cause problems.

Has been deemed "socially unacceptable" due to being the bastard son of a noble lady and her Hyuran lover, who was executed for Heresy before Sebastian was born.

Is currently torn between two worlds. That of his mother and that of his father. He does not know where he belongs and is, unfortunately, rather bad at rebelling against the traditions he was raised in.

He is typically physically distant in public as public displays of affection are generally frowned upon. He may salaciously flirt with you, upon first meeting, but he will generally keep his hands to himself until privacy can be found.

Path Rating: Moderately Difficult

Sebastian's path begins with him spotting you from across a crowded ball room and making his way gracefully towards you. He turns on the charm and asks you to dance.

It begins like a whirlwind romance. He wants to see you again. He wants to serenade you, to sit next to you at the piano and guide your hands, to sing only of you and your beauty.

It is easy enough to get to this stage. Anyone could end up the subject of these affections. Anyone could end up in his bed from here. It is getting him to open up past that point that is the struggle.

He seems generally unwilling to share anything about himself that is not otherwise publicly known, he frequently redirects conversation topics back to his companions, and when conversations stray to close to his own emotional needs it is possible that the conversation may simply end.

It will take the right amount of prodding to get him to open up. It may also take one of siblings getting involved in any way for him to be willing to admit that he cares. Or if not them, some other whiff of danger that sends him on the defensive, forcing him to face his feelings and process them.

After that he is willing to explore them, albeit slowly.

Sebastian can be taken down two paths through play. The first would push him closer to the ideals of his mother and nobility. This would mean he would marry a noblewoman and take a lover on the side. He would do his best to make himself appear as a legitimate son of a noble house and would also ignore the Hyuran side of his family, cutting off contact with Mercer and his family and refusing to dig any further into the death of their father, Declan Mercer. As that would ruffle too many feathers and cause issues for his new wife and their soon to be growing family. As his romance interest you would need to either be comfortable being a secret lover or hail from a noble house yourself and be able to offer him the noble name he seeks. Either way this ending results in Sebastian married and still quite caught up in the noble intrigues of House Vairemont.

The second path would be to push him in the opposite direction. The love interest would need to get him to challenge the world his mother raised him in. They would need to push him to be closer to Mercer, to question what his mother told him, to seek justice for the death of his father. While this path has the potential to be far more violent (depending on how hard the love interest is willing to push), there is no chance that Sebastian marries for anything other than the love of his partner. That said, will the partner be willing to marry him after he murders his maternal half-brother and socially ruins his maternal half-sister? Will they still want him when he's burnt House Vairemont to the ground and called himself Lord of the ashes?

Thanks so much for the ask, @bnuuywol! (@set2zero also asked to see Sebastian's path.) I hope I did well with the answer! He's a guy at a crossroads. So he comes with a fair amount of drama. If a distant, vengeful man in a cravat doesn't do it for you, do not worry. I have more write-ups coming.

#asks #asked and answered #ask me anything #ooc #my alts #sebastian de vairemont