#these two things can and should both be true

[moonstruckme]

the sleepy remus drabble was everything but what about sleepy james x reader just cuddling on the couch with remus and sirius teasing them omfgg

Thanks for requesting lovely! I realized halfway through writing this that I wasn't sure if you meant rem and sirius were there platonically or not, but I hope this is alright <3

poly!marauders x fem!reader ♡ 870 words

Even when you hear the voices, you pretend you don’t, too comfortable on the plush cushion of James’ hoodie. Opening your eyes isn’t worth the effort. 

“Is this what they do when we’re not home?” Sirius’ voice is low and ripe with faux outrage.

James hushes him, so he’s awake apparently. His thumb moves over your tummy, big hand tucked into the warmth between your sweatshirt and your bare skin. “You’ll wake her,” he says, voice still sticky with sleep.

“She ought to be awake, it’s five in the afternoon!” 

Remus’ voice is softer, skeptical. “I don’t see how either of you expect to sleep through the night if you nap like this during the day.”

“We manage,” James yawns. 

You hear Sirius huff. If the muscles in your face were more active you think you’d smile. “I thought we were going to Marlene’s thing tonight,” he complains. 

“Still planning on it.” James’ palm splays over your middle, warm and safe. “We’re resting up.” 

“This is how you prepare for Friday nights now? Fuck, we must be getting old.” 

You whine at his volume, nuzzling your face into James’ chest. 

“Oh, so she is awake. What, sweet thing, you don’t feel like saying hi?” 

This time James coos at your protesting sound. His hand slips from beneath your sweatshirt to wrap around your shoulders, shielding you from your pestering boyfriend. 

“Oh, let’s have a bit of sympathy,” Remus says, sounding amused, “she’s had a long, hard day of napping. She deserves a bit of rest.” 

You want to remind him it’s your day off, but speaking feels like giving into wakefulness, and that is something you are not inclined to do. Instead, you try to wriggle beneath the blanket halfway up James’ torso, curling in on yourself like a roly poly. He helps you out, pulling it up to cover your head and draping an arm over your balled-up form. 

“It’s her day off,” he says, your hero. “Why shouldn’t she get to rest?” 

“That’s fair enough,” Remus allows, “but why were you sleeping?”

James hesitates. “Well, I didn’t have anything to do after training and she…she lured me in.” 

It’s true. James after rugby training is like Remus after he spends all day reading; he’s all worn out and pliable, and you’d practically only had to open your arms for him to fall right into them and then a cuddle on the couch had turned into a two-hour nap. Terribly unfortunate. Certainly not your plan all along. 

You decide it’s your turn to protect James from the others, wriggling up on his chest and covering his head with the blanket. You see his smile through half-lidded eyes, and outside of your little cave, Remus chuckles. 

“Oh, it’s like that, is it?” 

“I think we should get in bed and have a cuddle they’re not invited to,” says Sirius. “See how they like it.” 

“I’m not sure we can leave them in good conscience.” The sound of Remus' smile makes you smile, your cheek smushing into James’ chest. “She’s just taken Jamie. If we let her go on like this, she’ll have them both sleeping ‘til tomorrow.” 

That actually sounds rather appealing. 

“They’re jealous of us,” James whispers. You hum your agreement, and he kisses the crown of your head. 

“We could go to all their favorite things,” Sirius proposes. “Make them remember the benefits of leaving the couch.” 

“Like what? Watch sports?” 

“And eat pastries. She loves a sweet.” 

“Mm, yeah. I could fancy a sweet.” 

“From the shop on sixth? They should still be open, yeah?” 

“Stay strong, angel,” James whispers. “Don’t let them break you.” 

“They ought to be. Oh, and the pub down that way will be showing the Manchester match tonight. We could stop and see that.” 

“Sick and twisted!” James throws the blanket off, uncovering you in the process. “You never watch football with me.” 

“I have,” Remus hedges, “that one time.” 

“Last year! And you were reading your book on the other side of the pillow!” 

He turns sheepish. “Didn’t realize you’d noticed that.” 

“But now you’re going to watch it just to spite me?” 

“No,” Sirius admits. “We were never going to watch football, Jamie, sorry.” James deflates, and you squeeze him tight around the middle in a show of solidarity. 

“But we can go by the bakery on our way to Marlene’s thing,” Remus says, adding when you perk up, “if we leave soon enough. They make those danishes you like on Fridays, don’t they?” 

“Seriously?” you ask, your voice croaky and hopeful. 

“That’s me, babe,” Sirius teases, “and I’m down to stop by, but only if I get what I’m owed.” At your blank look, he raises a dark brow. “My welcome home kiss?” 

Oh. “You’re gonna have to come down here,” you mumble. He makes a show of rolling his eyes, but obliges you, bending at the waist to take your face in his hands and pressing his lips to yours firmly. He does the same to James once you’re done, straightening with a satisfied look on his face. 

“Appeased?” Remus asks placidly. 

“Yes,” Sirius answers, “the evening may now continue. Up, you two. We’ve got places to be.” 

#poly!marauders #poly!marauders x reader #poly!marauders x fem!reader #poly!marauders x y/n #poly!marauders x you #poly!marauders x self insert #poly!marauders fanfiction #poly!marauders fanfic #poly!marauders fic #poly!marauders fluff #poly!marauders imagine #poly!marauders scenario #poly!marauders drabble #poly!marauders blurb #poly!marauders one shot #poly!marauders oneshot #james potter #james potter x reader #sirius black #sirius black x reader #remus lupin #remus lupin x reader #marauders #marauders fanfiction #marauders fandom #the marauders #marauders era #hp marauders #marauders x reader

[sweetbans29]

Should Have Been Me - CC

Pairing: Caitlin Clark x Reader

Summary: You and Caitlin are home for a weekend to celebrate her brother's birthday - one thing leads to another and nothing is the same.

Warnings: ANGST - PURE ANGST, read at your own will. I would apologize but that would be a lie...

Word Count: 6.3k

Sweetbans Masterlist

AN: Please don't ask why I did this, I needed the pain. Just let it be. But low-key this is probably one of my favorites that I’ve written. Okay great, thanks!

You and Caitlin are jamming out on the drive home to Des Moines. A few weeks back she mentioned how her younger brother's birthday was coming up and she was planning on making the trip home to be there. She didn't need to ask, knowing you would come.

The two of you grew up together, meeting on the first day of first grade. You two were inseparable. If you weren't at school together, you were at practice or at each other's homes. Your parents accepted when you were girls that they both had two daughters even though she was the only girl among her siblings and you were an only child. You were all essentially one big family.

It came as no surprise to either of them when Caitlin and you told them you were dating in high school. It was a little bit of a hard pill for her parents to swallow but ultimately were supportive of your relationship when they saw how happy you made Caitlin as more than a friend. It wasn't a hard decision when the Hawkeyes came around and scouted both of you out to play college basketball with them. It was both of your dreams, to play college basketball and ultimately make it to the NCAA championship. Eventually to play in the WNBA and that all was coming true right before your eyes. It was the cherry on top that you two were able to do that together on the same team. Not only is your chemistry incredible off the court, but on the court - it's unmatched.

This is your last little getaway before things pick up going into March Madness. Senior year baby and the two of you know you can the team all the way back to the final four.

You pull up to her house and grab your bag from the car. Even though your home was right down the street the two of you planned to spend the Friday night at her house and then head to yours for Saturday night. It works out well as her brother's birthday party is tonight.

Once you get inside, you see her mom going crazy trying to get everything in order before tonight You set your things down and immediately help out wherever she needs. Caitlin does the same but takes some time to catch up with her dad first. Once Cait and her dad jump in, it all comes together.

People begin to arrive and the party comes together. Their home comes to life with friends and family from all over.

Caitlin's mom comes running over to Caitlin and you in a slight panic.

"Caitlin, I need you to go grab Colin from his friends," she says looking at her phone.

"Doesn't he have his car? Why do I need to go grab him? I told Dad that I would help him get the lights up for the party before everyone got here and we are behind." She says getting a little flustered herself.

"His car isn't starting and his friend is out of a car so they have no way of getting here," Caitlin's mom explains.

"I can go get him," you say. "That way you both can stay and finish anything that is needed."

"Oh, you are an angel, sweetheart! Thank you, thank you, thank you," she says while giving you a hug.

"It is no problem, it's my pleasure," you respond and give her a smile. Caitlin gives you a look of gratitude.

Caitlin's mom sends you the address and you give Cait a peck before heading out to grab the boys.

Once you get in your car, you put on your favorite playlist and maps then head out. It was only about a 15-minute drive there. As you are driving, it is just starting to get dark. Your lights turn on automatically as you are driving. You are about 5 minutes out when you are stopped at a light. Once yours turns green, you begin to go and that is when time stops.

*Third person-ish POV*

Caitlin's mom walks over to her and her dad as they are setting up the lights. They are just about finished putting them up - it took a minute to do but they look really good.

"Have you see your little bother yet? I thought they would be back by now," her mom says looking at her phone.

"I am sure they are almost here, Mom," Caitlin says as her arms are holding up the last string of lights for her dad.

"I'm sure you're right," she says as she walks away and goes to tend to the food.

Once the lights are complete, Caitlin goes to look for you. She looks all over the place and can't seem to find you. After about 30 minutes of looking, she finds her mom.

"Hey mom, have you seen (y/n)," she asks, checking her phone to see if there were any messages that she missed.

"I have been trying to call her. Your bother called and asked when we would be there to pick him up," she says and Caitlin begins to get nervous. Looking at the clock, she realizes it has been about an hour since you had left to pick him up and it should have taken you 30 minutes.

Cait gives your phone a ring and it goes straight to voicemail. She begins to look around for your parents, knowing they were here to see if they could get a hold of you. When she finds them, they say they haven't seen her yet.

"Caitlin, can you go get your brother, please? It has been over an hour in and he is still waiting for (y/n)," her mom says, not looking up from her phone. Caitlin grabs her mom's keys and heads out.

As she is driving, she notices there are police detouring cars. Her heart rate begins to pick up. She has to tell herself that it's not you, it couldn't be you. There was no way, you had never been in an accident and you are the best driver she knows. She slows down and makes a slow turn following the detour when she sees it. She sees your car flipped on its side, completely crushed on the driver's side.

She pulls her car over immediately, gets out, and runs to the scene. There is caution tape around the whole area which she completely ignores and runs over to the first ambulance she can see. When she looks inside, she sees a man with a cut on his forehead and arm in a sling. Before she can continue looking, there is a police officer approaching her.

"Ma'am, you can't be over here," he begins to say as he tries to usher you out of the caution-taped area.

"That's my girlfriend's car! I need to find her!" She says as she is in full-blown panic now.

The officer's mannerisms change completely when he hears that the girl in front of him knows who was in the car that was hit.

"Come this way, ma'am," he says in a gentler tone this time.

"No, I need to find (y/n). That is her car, she is here and I need to find her," Caitlin says not seeing the officer's demeanor changing. He grabs her arm and tries to get her to look at him. When she looks at him, he speaks again.

"You should come this way and we can talk," he says slowly, not wanting to spook you. Caitlin goes into a haze. She stops trying to fight the officer and lets him lead her to an easy-up tent that has been set up with lights. He offers her a chair and a bottle of water and sits next to her.

"Would you happen to have contacts for her parents? Someone else we can call to come down and be here with you?" The officer says, still not telling her what happened or where you are.

Caitlin pulls out her phone from her pocket and hands it over to him with your mom's phone number on the screen. Up to this point, no tears had fallen from Caitlin's eyes - if she was feeling anything it was anger. Why wasn't anyone telling her anything? She still had no idea what had happened. The officer passes her phone to another officer and they make the call.

"Can you please tell me what has happened and what's going on? I want to see her, is she okay?" Caitlin begins asking the officer again. She is doing everything in her power to not completely freak out. Her body is numb and she is confused as to where you could be.

"It would be best to wait for her family to be here," the officer begins but is cut off by Caitlin.

"I am her family." She says without hesitation. It was true. Not by blood and not legally, at least not legally yet but between growing up together and the relationship the two of you had been in for the last 6 years, it was only a matter of time before you were married. She had been your family since day one and everyone knew that.

The officer gives her a somber smile and a nod. Giving her a pat on the shoulder as another officer calls him over.

Caitlin sits there and waits, trying to look around at other ambulances to see if she can see you in any of them. If you were hurt, maybe they had already taken you to the hospital and didn't want her to drive in the state she was in.

A few moments pass and Caitlin sees both your parents and hers come running up to the scene. Caitlin stands and immediately hugs her mom. The tears begin to fall the second she is wrapped in safe arms. She still has no idea what is going on but at least now she is not alone.

The officer approaches asking your parents if they are they say they are. He takes them aside and begins explaining what happened. Caitlin breaks away from her mom to look over and see your mom sobbing with your dad trying to hold her as he sheds tears of his own.

"Mom, what happened? They haven't told me anything, I just want to see her," Caitlin says heart beating faster than a race car. Seeing your parents crumble before the officer has her feeling sick. She can't stand still as her foot is tapping and her hands keep playing with either themselves or the bottom of her shirt.

Caitlin's dad nods at her mom as he walks over to your parents and the officer. The officer and her dad both look over to Caitlin and her mom as they turn away. Caitlin sees her dad's shoulder slump and his hand come up to his face. He takes another moment before patting the officer on the shoulder and heading back to where his family is.

He doesn't say anything as he approaches, but rather takes Caitlin in his arms and just holds his daughter.

"Dad," Caitlin begins, hesitant in asking how. The last 45 minutes had felt like an eternity as she had been asking everyone under the sun what had happened. But the way her dad walked over and went to hold her, she no longer wants to know what has happened - she just wants to go back to earlier today when it was you and her against the world on the drive home. She can't seem to find what to ask anymore.

"Baby, I'm so sorry." Is all he says as he holds his baby girl. Something your parents are no longer able to do. Her mom rubs Caitlin's arm.

Caitlin's whole body goes numb, she still doesn't really know what happened but knows enough now to figure out nothing is going to be the same. When it begins to hit her, she feels suffocated by the arms holding her. Her first instinct is to run, to break away from here and run. And that is exactly what she does.

She pushes through her dad's arms and runs. She can hear her parents call for her but she doesn't look back.

She runs for hours finally slowing down when her lungs begin to burn so bad that she is gasping for air. Not that she wanted it - if you weren't with her, what was the point? You had been by her side her whole life and now she was alone. Cait lets out the most primal scream and falls to the ground. She curls up into a ball as the tears begin to fall.

Her mind begins to think of you, to the last moment before you left when you offered to pick up her brother. All she gave you was a little peck - no hug, no I love you. She should have held you and told her she loved you. It is then that it dawns on her, she was the one that was supposed to go. It was Caitlin who was first asked to pick up her brother but she didn't want to leave her dad so you volunteered. It should have been her picking up her brother. Maybe if it was her, things would have turned out differently and you would have still been here. As she is curled up on the side of the street - she feels her body beginning to shut down...

It was the summer before junior year of high school and you and Caitlin were heading home from practice for your club team, Attack. She was driving the two of you back to your house when you mentioned you wanted to stop to get milkshakes. She happily pulled over at your favorite local spot. Once the two of you had gotten your sweet treat, you sat in her car drinking milkshakes and talking about all the possibilities for playing college ball.

"Cait?" You ask as she is finishing her milkshake. She looks up at you. "I love you," you say. Up to this point, the two of you had both told each other you liked each other more than friends and started to explore what that looked like. You would say the two of you had been dating for the past couple of months - keeping it really low-key as you didn't know how the people around you would take it. But there was something about this moment, something about being together and just doing life together that helped you realize she is your everything.

She looks at you slightly shocked.

"You don't need to say it back!" You say, not wanting to pressure her. You just didn't want to go another day without telling her. "I just needed to tell you because, well, I do. I love you, Caitlin Clark."

A goofy little smile makes its way to her face and she pulls you in for a hug. It isn't the most comfortable considering you sitting in a car and have some piece of the center console pushing into your rib cage but you didn't mind.

"I love you," she whispers in your ear as she hugs you.

"Caitlin, sweetie," someone is shaking her arm. "Cait, wake up," they continue to shake her, waking her up.

She looks up, eyes foggy and body in pain. It takes her a few seconds to see it is completely dark and that she is on the side of the road. As she looks around, she realizes she is across the street from your favorite milkshake place. It had closed down a few years back but it was often a place the two of you would go to just sit and talk.

As she sits up, she doesn't remember stopping here. She just remembers running and running until she literally couldn't.

"Caitlin, sweetie," she hears again and looks up. It is your dad who has woken her up, she looks around and it is just him. "We have been looking for you for a while now sweetie."

She just nods. Everything rushed back to her. No one has actually said it to her yet, but she knows. You were gone. Her eyes begin to water again as it is all too much for her to wrap her mind around.

Your dad sits next to her, not ready to make his way back to reality. Sitting there with Cait, has him feeling like you are still here. That you are going to walk up and take them both home and tell them that this was all a dream.

“I don’t know if you remember, but I took you and (y/n) here after your very first basketball practice in elementary school. You both wanted something sweet and I didn’t want to go out of the way on the drive home that I pulled over here in hopes they had something that would satisfy you both. We walked in and they had milkshakes,” he says with a little laugh and sniffle. “(Y/n) had never had a milkshake before but you were so excited and told her it was the best thing in the world. Of course, she believed you, she trusted you with her whole heart and soul and you didn’t disappoint her. That afternoon you two shared a chocolate shake, finished every last drop.”

Caitlin is hugging her legs as tears stream down her face. She doesn’t remember that but it makes it that much more special that this place was your spot.

“Caitlin, has anyone explained what has happened?” He asks hesitantly. He doesn’t want to talk about it but he knows that she deserves to know.

She takes a minute, deciding if she really wants someone to say it. Even though she knows you are gone, for some reason having someone explain what actually happened makes everything that much more real. She finally shakes her head no, not daring to make eye contact. She feels like she would physically fall apart if someone looked into her eyes with any drop of sympathy.

“They said it was fast, that she didn’t feel any pain,” he began, hoping that would provide any ounce of peace to her. “When she was going through the intersection, a drunk driver came and blew through their red light. They impacted the driver's side and she…” he is choked up at this point. It’s not right that a father has to say this about his daughter. “She died upon impact.” He finishes, not sugarcoating it knowing Caitlin also preferred the direct approach.

Caitlin at this point is shaking with pain and anger. Her world has completely flipped due to an idiot making bad decisions. She wants to find the man and bring him all the pain she is feeling but knows that will never bring you back. That’s all she really wants, is you back.

Your dad doesn’t rush Caitlin, he lets her feel everything she needs. If he is honest, he also needs this time. He’s been caring for your mom then went on the hunt with the rest of the family to find Caitlin. He hasn’t had the time to just sit. Not that he really wanted to because that allows the feelings to come in and disrupt peace. How does a dad wrap his mind around losing his baby girl? His only little one.

“I don’t know life without her,” Caitlin speaks for the first time. Her voice is unsteady and broken, desperate. “She’s always been there, I don’t know how to be here without her,” she says as she lets out a cry. She bites her arm to avoid completely losing it. Your dad's hand comes to rub her back and bring her into a hug.

"I know she was your person and you were hers. She will always be a part of you," your dad says trying to calm the broken girl you left behind. "But I also know that she took a part of you and that it is going to take time for you to process and heal."

The two of them sit, not saying much after that. After some time, your dad helps Caitlin into the car, driving her back to her home. On the car ride back, your dad calls Caitlin's dad letting her know that she is with him and they can all head back to their house.

When they arrive, Cait's parents come running out and embrace her in a hug. Her whole body was still numb, her cheeks stained with dried tears. She doesn't have the energy to hug them back, rather just stands there. No thoughts going through her head, she doesn't quite know what to do. How does someone continue living when they are no longer whole?

*One week later*

Caitlin is sitting on her bed, dressed in a simple black dress. Her hair is straightened and her nails are black. They are usually painted white but that just didn’t fit her in the moment. She is mentally preparing to face the crowd of people who are waiting just down the road.

She takes a shaky breath and stands from her bed. She walks up to her dresser and puts on a necklace and bracelet - both were gifts from you. She looks at herself one more time in the mirror. As she is looking at herself, she pictures when the two of you were standing there dressed for a friend’s wedding. It’s almost as if she can see you standing next to her.

She hears a faint knock on her door. She doesn’t respond but the door opens and her mom peaks through.

“Hey baby, are you ready” She asks in a gentle motherly tone. Caitlin just nods. Never in a million years would she picture herself being in this boat.

Cait's dad had already driven over to the church with her brothers. It was going to be Cait and her mom driving there just in case she needed some space to be alone.

As they arrive, there is already a huge crowd of people, all of whom are entering the building. Caitlin's heart rate begins to pick up and she begins to fiddle with the bottom of her dress. Her mom grabs her hand, attempting to calm her. Nothing and no one will ever calm her like you did.

She walks in. There have been countless times Caitlin has imagined walking down this aisle with you but under much different circumstances. Her heart aches at the thought of what could have been.

She takes her seat in the front row between her mom and her dad. As she sits, she makes the mistake of glancing over at your parents. She can tell they are doing everything in their power to keep their composure but she knows they are faking.

The funeral service begins and your dad is the first to go up and speak. Caitlin's mind wanders elsewhere...

It was freshman year of college and the two of you are heading into your Intro to Psych class. The two of you head to the seats you have sat in since day one. In the middle of class, Caitlin feels a weight on her shoulder. When she looks over she sees you - fast sleep on her.

It had been a busy few weeks between double practices and all the homework you two had. Cait knew you had been bending over backwards adjusting and keeping up with all the university required of you.

She leans down and kisses you on the head. You would always say you are an ugly sleeper - granted you had never seen yourself but you could feel it. Caitlin on the other hand would disagree and say you are the cutest when you sleep. She would always say you looked so peaceful, childlike.

Caitlin also knows that you would be pissed if she let you sleep through the lecture. You were the better note-taker and when it would come time to study for the final - Cait wouldn't hear the end of letting you sleep through the review. But on the other hand, your girl knows how little sleep you have been getting, always working on school work or reviewing plays and making sure you were on top of everything.

You let out a little sigh and lean a little further into her - fast asleep. Caitlin lets out a little groan, knowing she would much rather watch you sleep on her than wake you. She slowly begins to move her shoulder, trying to get you to wake up without being startled.

When you don't budge, she leans down and says your name in your ear. You still don't budge.

Finally, she turns a little, trying not to draw attention to the two of you, and moves her arm to squeeze your thigh.

"Babe, you need to wake up," she says, giving your thigh another squeeze.

"Mmmm, don't want to," you mumble and move to take hold of her arm, wrapping your arms around it like it was a pillow.

"Babe, we are still in class." She says with a little laugh - falling a little more in love with you.

This causes you to shoot up, fully alert by her words. You look around and your cheeks redden immediately. Sinking down in your chair - embarrassment filling every ounce of your body.

She hands you your pen back and leans over to kiss your head once again.

"Don't worry babe, you didn't miss much," she says reassuring you.

Caitlin is pulled back to the present - though she much rather stay in the past. The service was ending and there was going to be a time for people to pay their respects to your family. it was being held at your house, Caitlin hasn't been without you - not having the strength to go over to see your parents. Most of the last week was spent in bed, with the exception of when her mom encouraged her to shower.

When she walks into the house, it almost feels foreign. She grew up in this house with you and now it feels unknown. She walks up to your parents. Your mom engulfs her in a hug, mumbling something along the lines of how much she loves her. Cait then steps over to give your dad a hug. The last time she saw him was when he found her on the side of the road. He hugs Caitlin without saying anything until their embrace ends.

"When you are ready, I have something to show you," he says. Caitlin just nods. She isn't ready yet but keeps that in mind.

As Cait makes her way further into the house, her team is standing there. This is the first time seeing anyone outside of your family since that night.

Kate is the first one to come up to Caitlin and pull her into a hug. Kate is crying as she hugs her. When Caitlin is in public settings - she doesn't tend to cry, she does everything in her willpower not to because someone had to stay composed and when you were around, it wasn't you. She hugs Kate back and rubs her back.

All the girls give their condolences and talk about their favorite memories with you. Kate is holding Caitlin's hand, grounding her.

Caitlin stands there, trying to be polite and listen to how much they all loved you and adored you but she was crawling in her skin. None of this still feels right. Somewhere in Caitlin's mind and heart, she is waiting for you to walk through the front door and tell everybody that there is no one to mourn and that she is okay. But that was all just a dream.

Caitlin excuses herself and decides she wants to be alone. She begins walking and before she knows it, she is standing at the door to your room. The door is closed and she doesn't remember this being the destination she was looking for.

Her breath begins to unease itself as her hand comes to the doorknob. She twists it and opens the door, not yet daring to take a step inside. She stands looking around - the all too familiar space feeling empty. A pain builds in her chest as she walks through and makes her way to your dresser.

She looks at all that it holds. Little trinkets that the two of you saw value in, old jewelry, and many pictures of the two of you. Photos of you growing up and in high school. Her fingers run along your face on all of them - tears finally making an appearance on her own.

She then makes her way to your closet - bringing an old high school basketball sweatshirt into her chest. She inhales the scent of it, dampening it with her tears. She puts it on and hugs her arms around her body. She makes her way over to your bed and runs her hands over it, remembering all the times she had spent the night here with you. She lays down and curls up into a ball.

Looking over, she sees an old teddy bear that the two of you had made at Build-a-Bear for one of your anniversaries. She takes hold of the bear and snuggles into it - finally allowing her sobs to release.

Every time she begins to feel better, she gets hit by another truck. This one being the second biggest only to the night it all happened.

After some time, she finally begins to settle down. She sees your dad pass by. Caitlin gets up and runs to the doorway, calling for him.

"Caitlin," he begins, as he slightly peers into your room. "We haven't been in (Y/n's) room since it happened, we haven't had the strength to..." He continues.

"You said you had something you wanted to show me?" She asks, not really sure if she is ready but wants to know.

"Oh yes, wait here, let me grab it," he says and goes to get something from your parent's room. He comes back holding something in his hand.

He passes it to Caitlin. It is a small velvet box. Caitlin's hands begin to shake.

"When you are ready, you can open it. It doesn't have to be now, but I know it belongs to you." He says as there is some confusion written on Caitlin's face. He explains. "This was my mother's, she passed it down to Y/n when she mentioned the two of you started dating. We have been holding onto it but like I said, it's yours." He chokes out the last part and excuses himself.

Caitlin goes to sit on your bed and just stares at the box in her hands.

She slowly opens the box to see the most beautiful diamond ring sitting in it. Tears begin to fall again as she removes it from the box and places it on her finger.

It's your grandmother's wedding ring. Your grandmother had given you her wedding ring for when you were ready to ask Caitlin to marry you. Caitlin looks at the ring on her finger and clutches her hand to her chest - you were going to ask her to be your wife.

As Cait was going to close the box, a little piece of paper caught her eye. She pulls it out and opens the folded piece. She whispers the words on the page.

"Dear Y/n, It is clear to me how much you love Caitlin. I could see it before the two of you started dating, it was only a matter of time. She is your person like your grandfather was to me. I am giving you this ring for when the time is right and you are ready to build a life with her. May you love each other more and more each day, as your grandfather and I did. I love you, sweet girl. - Grams"

Caitlin struggled through the letter but was glad she did. She realized you had been holding on to this ring for the past 5 years.

*Two months later*

Caitlin was back at school and back at practice with the girls. Each girl on the team took turns watching over Caitlin. It was never said but she knew, at no point was she ever alone except to sleep.

Tonight was her first game back and it has been a love-hate relationship getting back on the court. Basketball has always been her love but it was off-putting being on the court without you. The two of you had played together for so long, neither of you had to think when it came to making things happen. Coming back to practice it was like learning a whole new sport.

As the team was in the locker room before the game - they were getting a talk from Coach Bluder before taking the court for the first game of March Madness.

"We are going to go out there and give our everything. There is nothing we are not ready for - each and every one of you has put in the blood, sweat, and tears and we are going to show the world that this is our time." She says getting the team fired up. Her final words bring silence among the group. "As we go out there, we are going out there incomplete. We are missing someone who has changed this team for the better and when we step foot onto that court, we are walking out there in her honor. Y/n will always be a part of this team and as she carried this team as captain before - she still does today."

Caitlin fiddles with the ring that would have wed the two of you and safety pins it to the left side of her sports bra. There was no way she was walking out there without you with her.

The team lines up in silence - ready to go out and honor you. And that is exactly what they did.

Iowa went 91-65, absolutely crushing the first round of March Madness. Your team fought its way back to the Final Four and Caitlin dedicated every game to you.

The night of the Final Four was a battle - UConn put up an amazing fight, but the Hawkeyes came out on top. After the game - it was decided that Caitlin would step into the post-game press conference. Her first one since your passing.

As she sits down, the crowd takes a second to settle, surprised seeing her out there considering she hadn't been in any of the previous ones despite being an all-star in each of them.

The press starts asking questions about the game and how the team was able to pull the win off. Everything was going smoothly until one reporter asked about you.

"Caitlin, there was a loss on your team right earlier in the season - how has that affected the team dynamic?" The reporter asks.

She was expecting someone to ask but even anticipating the question, it took her some time to gather her thoughts. Just as she was about to speak - Kate stepped up and responded for her. Caitlin was extremely thankful and when Kate was done she finally found the words she wanted to say.

"No one on this team has felt the loss of Y/n more than I have. She was my #1 on and off the court," she says beginning to get choked up. "Her absence is felt deeper than anyone can imagine and this team will never be the same without her."

'I will never be the same without her' is what Caitlin wanted to say but couldn't between the tears that began to fall. Kate passed her a towel, which she gladly accepted. She tried so hard to keep it together but it was all still so fresh.

That night, Kate and some of the other girls spent the night at Caitlin's so she wouldn't have to be alone. It had only been a few months but Caitlin was afraid she would never truly heal from you.

*One year later*

Caitlin was living out the dream the two of you talked about so often. She was in the WNBA and was playing for the Indiana Fever. She had an incredible rookie year and was currently at an awards night where she was going to receive the Rookie of the Year award.

The night was going well and it was time for the award presentation. When they announce Caitlin as rookie of the year, she ascends the stage and accepts the award, giving the commissioner a hug before taking her place to make her speech.

"First off, I want to say a huge thank you to my team - if it wasn't for them taking me in like they did, I wouldn't be standing here today. I want to thank my Iowa team who grew me and shaped me. Thank you to my parents and brothers for always pushing me and believing in me and my ability." She looks down at the award and at her hand that wears her ring. "The last thank you I want to give is to Y/n, my wife." She says it knowing the weight it holds but it comes out so naturally.

"I owe my everything to her. She was my supporter from day one and every day after that she wouldn't settle for anything less than my best. Even when I would say I was giving her my all - she would push me past that, strengthening me and showing me who I truly had the potential to become. I stand before you all today because of her love of this sport, and her love of me." Caitlin makes the slightest adjustment to look up, to anyone in the audience it looks like she is looking up at the balcony but all those who knew you, know that she is looking up to you. "Baby, we did it," she says as a single tear rolls down her cheek. "We are living out our dream."

AN: DON'T ASK ME TO APOLOGIZE BECAUSE I WON'T. Please let me know what you think! And as always, thank you for your love and support 🤍

#caitlin clark #caitlin clark x reader #caitlin clark imagine #iowa wbb #iowa hawkeyes #caitlin clark masterlist #wnba #indiana fever

[the-cards-she-wont-show]

TTPD Twin Storylines weaved together & double meanings throughout! ✌️👯‍♀️💕

Attention ALL Swifties (particularly Gaylors) and associates of the Tortured Poets department

PLEASE READ!! (and read with an open mind!!)🤍

Listening to the amazing TTPD on repeat this past week, I am certain that I have made an important discovery that I haven't seen talked about anywhere else yet and would like to get the coversation going, in hopes that Taylor will see that we are all finally listening to her! I'm still piecing everything together, as there is so much to unravel and am far from calling myself an expert on her exact timelines and dates, so am looking forward to hearing thoughts from others that are more knowledgable in her history.

I have been of the belief for a while now that Mastermind and Dear Reader were foretelling of her future, and also that the album title had a double meaning (evidenced by the lack of apostrophe in 'poets'). That the tortured poet would be departing. Note that I am also a believer that she has been closeted by those closest to her and is preparing to ruin her name and perceived reputation, give up the false public version of herself and come into her own true self. Everything as we know it will be destroyed and it is all playing out now, coming together as part of her plan.

Falling in line with all of the two's - the double album, the double meaning in the album name, the two sides of taylor etc, I have found that there are two intertwining stories told throughout her tracklist, AND that all songs also have a double meaning!! None of which are about the perceived muses of Travis, Matty or Joe. The 'evidence' for those relationships are all red herrings (for example 'putting narcotics into all of my songs' - but only in the songs with obvious reference to her beards), to make it seem ambiguous and open to interpretation of who the songs may be about, which is seen often throughout her discography. She uses an incredible amount of metaphors and we must look beyond those to decipher her lyrics - do not take anything at face level with Taylor. Most should realise that she is so much smarter than making obvious songs about whichever male muse she is 'dating' at the time. She has always played into that public view to cover her true self. Many songs have themes of secret and hidden love, which juxtaposes with the public 'relationships' she is seen as having.

She tells us in 'The Manuscript' that "lookin' backwards might be the only way to move forward". Therefore we must listen to TTPD in reverse, from track 31 (13 reversed!) to track 1. I believe The Manuscript also acts as a bookend for both of her stories and should be listened to as a closer after the last song of the story 'Fortnight' ends, to get a complete picture. Once we have listened to the album in reverse order, can we see so plainly that each song tells a different story of a period/situation/muse/love/heartbreak in her life - beginning at her parents meeting in The Manuscript, to current day. I think the songs may also actually have a sister song from the corresponding album/period in time, with similar sound, lyrics or theme that connects them. I believe that each song also has a double meaning and can be interpreted as messages to her fans about things that have happened to her over the years or that are about to happen, and she is trying to communicate her feelings of being trapped, which is honestly so heartbreaking. Many relate to her being caged and forced to hide her true self, in particular by one person closest to her - her father. It is devastating to listen to.

The really brilliant part I discovered next, is that The Anthology tracks also have another hidden storyline being told which intertwines and intersects in the exact right place to fit in with her life story. It includes all of the "THE" songs and is in reverse order from the parallel life story and vinyl variants order of issue (but chronological track list order).

The Tortured Poets Department

The Smallest Man Who Ever Lived

The Alchemy

The Black Dog

The Albatross

The Prophecy

The Bolter

The Manuscript

Rather than presenting my interpretation of the timeline and each story told in every song, I urge everyone to listen to both stories, in these exact orders, with an open mind as to what she could possibly be describing! My mind was completely blown when I figured this out!! Her mind is incredible, there is no other way to describe the album, other than a masterpiece! I feel so much for the pain she has gone through. This album explains her feelings and reasons for hiding her true self over the years for any fans that will inevitably be feeling upset and deceived. We all need to show compassion for everything Taylor has sacrificed and give her what she needs. She truly deserves love, honesty, happiness and peace. ✌️💜

I'm in the process of creating a document trying to piece all of the hidden connections together just to wrap my head around this amazing body of work, so may possibly link this when I have it completed, otherwise I will add it to this post for anyone that might be interested.

I have a couple of extra personal thoughts, theories and hopes for anyone still reading…

The manuscript of her life story may possibly be the manuscript for a future book/film.

I think one meaning of "Fortnight" is a foretelling message to the fans that havent been noticing any of her many hair pin drops - she has been trying to get the message across but they aren't listening. For the fans she loses when she comes out - she touched them with this album for only a fortnight, before she lost them. She loves the fans but staying in the closet is ruining her life. I think something big could be happening a fortnight after release? Friday 3rd May is International Sun Day. ☀️ Karlie Kloss was always 'sunshine' to Taylor. According to Karlie, their first meeting was at the 2011 Met Gala on May 2, however, there is a possibility that they could have met at the afterparty - after midnight, making the anniversary May 3! 2024 Met Gala is a few days later, could they both make an appearance? If nothing big occurs, perhaps some seeds of doubt will be planted on the 3rd? Or.. It could also be a surprise rep TV (with or without Karma and Debut - surprise triple drop?) with wlw vault tracks?! Who really knows.. I honestly have no idea, but whatever happens, I know Taylor has it all meticulously planned out and everything will happen when it is supposed to.

Taylor is chairman of the Tortured Poets department - the leader of the mass coming out we are about to see. As Chely Wright put - 'we need someone at the top' to come out and pave the way for others to do the same, and to stop the forced closeting in the celebrity world. I think Travis and the majority of her former beards are also queer and there will be many more 'tortured poets' that will join 'the department'.

Karma will be album 1 (TS12) in the 3,2,1 countdown, TS13 is 0 - the album in which she gets all of her full colour back, reclaims her glitter gel pens and finally can sing her truth proudly! She has destroyed her own name and reputation, burnt down the lover house and all her former selves.

Last of all, PLEASE BE KIND! If anyone has made it to the end of this and doesnt agree, I'd love for you to have a listen to the songs in the orders above before commenting. If not, lets just agree to disagree! We all have our own personal takes on Taylor's lyricism and I would never dream of being unkind to another just for having a difference of opinion. 🫶

For Taylor - if you somehow happen to see this - please know you are truly a mastermind, you are loved and we've got you!

🌈💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛🌈

❤️ gerimegs

#taylor swift #gaylor #kaylor #ttpd #thetorturedmusesdept #the tortured poets department #the tortured poets dept #taylorswift #swifties #taylornation #tsttpd #taylor swift eras #erastour

[duckiemunson]

Diva

Eddie Munson x Fem!Reader

Summary: Wayne got Eddie tickets to see Iron Maiden in Indianapolis with his lovely lady, you. Thing is, Eddie turns into a bit of a diva when getting ready for an event like this. He wants everything to be perfect so he remembers it for the rest of his life. So when you’re ready to go, Eddie can’t find his favourite ring, and all hells breaks loose.

Disclaimers: Swearing, some light touching??

Side Notes: No upside down, no events of season 4. This is my second time writing a random middle of the night thought, not sure if anyone is even going to see this but if you do, thank you! My writing is very amateur so if anyone has any tips please send them my way. Enjoy!

The steam coming from the extremely hot shower was making it hard for you to do your hair in the small bathroom with the even smaller mirror. Constantly having to rub the small towel over the mirror to clear the steam off.

You’re running your fingers through the messy curls on your head mumbling small “mhm”’s while Eddie is behind the shower curtain talking your ear off about how excited he is for tonight.

Wayne had saved up and gotten Eddie two tickets to Iron Maiden’s Somewhere on Tour Tour with WASP also being in attendance, in Indianapolis. He insisted on Wayne coming with him but he denied quickly saying “I damn near have hearin’ loss just from you playin’ their music. I’ll ‘prolly go fully deaf if I hear the real thing. Take ‘yr girl who listens to that ruckus with you, it’s why I got ‘em for ‘ya.”

He called you immediately after Wayne said that. He was rambling so fast due to excitement he had to repeat himself twice for you to understand what he was saying. That was 2 months ago, and today is the day, the man has been bouncing off the walls since you both woke up in his bed this morning.

“I’m telling you. Come tomorrow morning I’m going to have no voice, probably won’t be able to move my neck, maybe a few scrapes and bruises, who the fuck knows!” Eddie says as he finishes up his shower.

“All I want out of this is a cool t-shirt.” You smile even thought he can’t see you. You love how excited Eddie gets for things he loves. Music, dnd, his books, you.

“Oh, I’m going to buy every piece of merchandise that booth has to offer. I’ve been saving since Wayne got these tickets.” It’s true. He has this special box on his desk that he puts money into when he’s saving up for something special.

You finished up your makeup quick and put everything back into your toiletries bag you keep under the sink at Eddie’s. You stay here a lot, you like to have your things with you always.

“Hurry up your shower babe, I’m almost ready and we should hit the road soon so we can check into the hotel and grab a bite to eat before the show.” You say as you put your bag under the sink. You guys were also able to save a little bit to get a hotel room just outside the arena, so you didn’t have to drive home in the middle of the night after rocking out a little too hard.

You stand and put on your skull necklace that was sitting in the jewelry dish you got for Eddie to put his rings in when he showers. The necklace resembles the skull ring Eddie has. When Eddie got the ring it came with a matching necklace as well. Eddie never wore necklaces but his guitar pick, so he just kept it in his room. But when you came along and were always so fascinated with his rings, especially the skull one, he gave you the necklace. Said you’d always have a part of him. He also said “It’s pretty fuckin’ metal on you babe,”

“Yes dear.” Eddie replies in a mocking tone. You snort and head out of the bathroom and into Eddie’s room to get dressed. You have an outfit laid out on his bed next to his laid out outfit, one of his very well loved Iron Maiden t-shirts, black jeans, and one of Eddie’s older leather jackets that doesn’t fit him anymore but fits you like a glove. Eddie’s outfit is an Iron Maiden long sleeve shirt with graphics on the front, sleeves, back, everywhere. Black jeans with rips in the knees and his battle vest with an extra WASP patch added to it.

Eddie comes sauntering in with a towel around his waist and his hair sopping wet.

“Eds. Dry your hair in the bathroom you’re getting water everywhere.” You try to dodge his clumsy movements as his wet curls sway around and cover the surfaces of his room in drops of water.

“My other towel was in here.” He takes it off his desk chair. “My hair looks better when I scrunch it dry with this towel.” He holds it up, then folds his body over to grip his curls with the towel and dry them into place.

“Does the towel have magic hair curling powers?” You giggle and Eddie looks up at you with a smirk, grabs you and starts to shake his head like a dog after a bath, covering you in spots of water.

“God damnit Eddie I just got dressed!” You laugh and try to push him away. He pulls away and laughs as well.

“And you look very nice my love.” He grins “But don’t be a smart ass.” He lightly taps your ass and you stick your tongue out at him.

“Get dressed. We need to go.” You tap your watchless wrist and step out of the room so he can get dressed without distractions. You saunter into the kitchen to grab some soda’s from the fridge you grabbed for the drive up to the city.

“You kids almost ready?” Wayne calls from the living room as he sits in his chair with a beer, watching some sports game.

“I think so, just waiting on your diva of a nephew to finish getting ready-“

“Fuck! Where is it?! Shit!” You both turn your head the direction of Eddie’s room as you both hear him frantically cursing and things flying around his room. “Babe?! Have you seen my ring?!” He calls in a panic.

“Which one Eds?” You call as you’re already walking to the bathroom, Wayne chuckling in the background, and looking in the jewelry dish. Which is empty.

“My skull one!” He calls back. You’re trying to remember if you saw it in there when you grabbed your necklace.

“I dunno, do you remember having it on before your shower?” You walk into his room, which you didn’t think could become more of a disaster.

“Yes? No? Fuck I don’t remember!” He says as he shoves his body under his bed, random items flying from where he’s lying.

“Okay chill out, we’ll find it. And if we don’t, no biggie” You try to reassure him as you also take a look around his room.

“No biggie?! That thing is my lucky charm! Always has been! And now it’s extra lucky because I have it matching with you!” He jolts himself out from under his bed and starts ripping the blankets and pillows off his bed like a madman, a stray pillow hitting you in the process.

“Okay, just- Eds just take a deep breath” You kick the pillow away as it fell at your feet. “When was the last time you saw it?” You stare at him as you watch the gears turn in his head as he thinks.

“Um, shit I don’t know. They’re just like a part of me now I don’t really think about ‘em.” His hand rubs up and down his jaw as he anxiously looks around still. “I did take them off last night when I was fixing the stereo in my van. I had to get my fingers in small places and the rings were getting in the way.” He sighs.

“Okay, I’ll go check your van and you keep checking your room okay? We’ll find it.” You stand on your toes and give his check a quick peck. He looks at you and gives you a little nod, but you can tell he’s not convinced.

You make your way out to Eddie’s van, grabbing his keys on the way out that were hung by the door. You whip open the drivers door and thank whatever god there is that while Eddie was fixing his stereo yesterday, you hung out in the van tidying it up for him, you wanted to spend time with him. But he had things to do, so you made it that you also had things to do.

You check in the centre console, glove box, cupholders, under all the seats, in the door slots, everywhere it feels like. A defeated sigh leaves your lips as you step out of the van and close the door.

“Well?!” Eddie’s voice comes from the trailer, as you look over he’s half hanging out his bedroom window. You just shake your head. “Fuck sake.” he grumbles and slides himself back in his room. When you step back into the trailer, Wayne has now also joined this fun easter egg hunt. He’s on all fours with a flashlight looking under the couch.

“How nicely did Eddie ask you to help?” You snicker as Wayne huffs out a chuckle.

“Not very, but I ain’t gon’ hol’ it against him.” Wayne gets back up on his knees, then uses the arm rest on the couch to stand fully up.

You and Wayne basically tear apart that living room to look while Eddie is still destroying his room. Curses and thumps coming from it as well. Finally you and Wayne just flop yourselves onto the couch.

“Did you try and tell ‘em it’ll be alright if you don’ find it?” Wayne leans forward to grab his fresh beer from the coffee table. You just slowly turn your head to him and raise your eyebrows a little as to say yeah and how do you think THAT went? He chuckles as he brings his beer to his lips.

Eddie comes flying out of his room, the curls he tried to keep at bay are now going every which direction and seem even poofier than usual.

“I’ve looked fucking everywhere and I can’t find it but- HEY!” You and Wayne both look at him at the sudden screech. “Are you guys- What’re you- Why aren’t you looking?!” He throws his hands up in the air.

“We looked everywhere we could. This trailer ain’t that big kid, not many hidin’ places.” Wayne says and Eddie just dramatically sighs and puts his hands on his hips. Very much resembling Steve when he’s giving the kids, or Eddie, a motherly scolding.

“Eddie, dearest, love of my life. We have to go. I know it’s your lucky charm and all, but the night is still going to be amazing, with or without the ring.” You stand to make your way over to him and Eddie puts his hands in the pockets of his vest, probably to grab a smoke and his head shoots up, same with his hand. Lo and behold in his hand, is that god damn ring.

“Yes! I found it! Oh thank god!” He dramatically kisses it and slides it back on his hand.

“You- You didn’t look in the pocket of your vest? Til just now? The vest you wear practically every single day?” You’re in disbelief he didn’t look there sooner. The only reason you didn’t is because you assumed he did.

“Ha uh, no. I guess I didn’t.” His voice drops a few octaves as he gets a little embarrassed at the mess he’s made looking for his ring, when it was in a very obvious spot. You pinch the bridge of your nose and let out a small huff and close your eyes.

“Is he still your dearest, love of your life.” Wayne mocks and chuckles behind you guys and Eddie grins at that. You also can’t help but break and laugh as well and look back up at Eddie. Your dearest, love of your life, Eddie.

“Yeah. He is.” You widen your smile and he sends you a wink. “Okay hot shot, we gotta go. Do you one hundred percent have everything?” You say as you head over to the door to start doing up your black converse.

“Yes, wallet.” He slaps his back pocket. “Rings.” Holds both his hands up to show you. “Keys.” He reaches up over you and grabs his keys from the holder on the wall. “My sweetheart.” he pinches your chin and plants a kiss on your lips. You smile into it and kiss him back.

“Weird, I don’t see your guitar strapped to your back, you sure you got your sweetheart?” You smirk at him and he pulls away and gives your cheek a little pinch.

“Smart ass.” He mumbles and you wink.

“Okay lovebirds get outta here or ‘yer gon’ miss ‘yer show.” Wayne grumbles from the couch as he takes another sip of his beer. You pull away from Eddie and give him a small shove.

“He’s right let’s go.” You turn. “Bye Wayne! Thanks again for the tickets!” He just gives you a small wave not looking away from the tv, but he’s got a small smile on his lips.

“Bye Wayne! Thanks again old man!” Eddie calls as he closes the door to the trailer behind you guys. As you round the van Eddie races in front of you and opens the passenger door for you. Kneels, and out stretches his arm to it he van. “M’lday.” He bows his head.

“Oh, you’re going to be an extra kiss ass now aren’t you?” You giggle and get in the van. Eddie rises back up and grins at you.

“Darlin’, you have no idea.” He closes the door and hops in the drivers side.

Let’s just say, after your drive to Indianapolis, Iron Maiden weren’t the only ones who rocked your world that night.

#stranger things #eddie munson #eddie munson x female reader #eddie munson x you #eddie munson x fem!reader fluff #eddie #is a diva #eddie munson blurb

[camusscigarette]

do u have any headcanons for hannibal :3

Hannibal HeadCanons!!

Some trigger warnings maybe? It gets a bit..smutty at the end. Just a bit. Nothing too explicit.

His favorite designers are Christian Dior and Elie Saab. Why? Well, Dior has a unique way of creating such feminine clothes that captivates the eye while Elie Saab makes everything look so ethereal and mythological, it inspires him to draw both Bedelia and Will in such clothes

He went once to Lebanon for the purpose of visiting the last traces of the Roman empire and somehow managed to befriend a nice elderly man on the Beach in Byblos where he offered him a Glass of Aarak and from now on, Hannibal invests in Aarak. Because as the elderly man told him, "Aarak tastes better when you eat it with raw meat".

It's true he's a vile man in his own and twisted sense due to his acts of cannibalism, but Hannibal absolutely hates a lot of well known Serial killers. Why? Because he thinks their motives were weak. He finds their killing styles vulgar and absolutely untasteful. To him, killing is an art. Done is a messy way and disfiguring one's body and leaving it in utter ruins is foul. He thinks that, if you want to disfigure a body, turn it into a statuette or something artistic, not clumps of flesh.

He thinks Rosé is a wannabee Wine. It's his least favorite wine because he finds it rather simple and so vague in taste.. It's a knockoff White wine mixed with water.

He loves Bvlgari. Why? Snakes. He loves snakes. Because they remind him of Bedelia but also Will. Snakes are harmless unless provoked. And their bite can either be deadly or merely a scratch.

HE'S A GOLD GIRLIE.

He's been to Romania many times, even speaks the language. Finds Dracula's castle boring. Loves Castel Peleș because it has every architecture in the world from different societies and civilisations.

His favorite chocolate is Terry's chocolate orange in Dark Chocolate.

He'll always be the big spoon. He finds that holding tightly onto someone he loves reassures him and his anxieties. He likes to tend to people's injuries as well. Bathing them. It's more comforting to him then them.

He secretly loved Bedelia but she wasn't enough for him. She'd never allow her person suit to slip and dwell into madness like him and Will.

He liked Avatar the Last Airbender AND The Legend of Korra. PS. He thinks that Lin and Kya should be a thing.

He's an existentialist, but absolutely HATES Jean Paul Sartre. He'd much rather prefer Simone De Beauvoir and Fyodor Dostoevsky's existentialism.

He enjoys Albert Camus' works. Often quoting his letters to Maria Casarès to those he shared a liking to.

Thinks Sigmund Freud was right.

He low-key has a breeding kink..lowkey..

And overstimulating. He likes to test other's limits by pushing them over the edge, even when he knows it's becoming painfully unbearable.

He hated the Cookie-Croissant thing until he was forced to try one and absolutely loved. Still publicly hates it but secretly..

Red nail theory? Biggest victim of it.

He doesn't like any modern artist, but you'd catch him singing "Happiness is a Butterfly" in the shower. Because "its speaks to him"

He indulges in self flagellation.

HE LOVES ARABIC POETRY MORE THAN ANYTHING .

Hope you liked it! Part Two?

#bedannibal #bedelia du maurier #hannibal lecter #gillian anderson #hannibal #violets for roses #canon? what is that #mads mikkelsen #will graham #hannigram #headcanon #hannibal headcanons

[chevelleneech]

Both Buck/Tommy and Buddie shippers are being so dramatic about everything.

On one hand, you have people acting like Buck and Tommy is written in the stars and anyone who dislikes them are being unjust and hateful. On the other, you have people acting as if Buck can’t possibly be in a relationship with a man who isn’t Eddie, and claiming he can is somehow based in racism and hatred of Eddie.

Neither is true! The problem is that prior to 7x04, Evan Buckley was not a canon queer character. He was viewed that way by fans and Oliver Stark was all for it, but that does not change the actual canon history of the character. Therefore, the writers can only fix what they feel fits the current story. They can retcon a few things and so on, but both sides are acting like they’re right, and it makes no sense.

Yes, Buddie shippers have Oliver and Ryan on their side for the most part. Yes, Oliver believes Buck has been queer all along and he thinks a lot of the headcanons about his character’s reaction to things make sense, but he is NOT saying it’s all true. He agrees Buck was likely experiencing some jealousy when Eddie first showed up, but that does not mean Tim Minear is going to make that theory canon. It’s fans and Oliver who think it, but that does not equal canon.

As well, with things being slightly retconned or adjusted to fit the story… Tommy is obviously no longer an asshole by proximity. He was rude to Hen and Chim, but we’ve seen he him interact with the two of them since in civil ways. We know Chim thinks he’s cool. Continuing to demand he apologize on screen is a waste of time. It was five seasons ago, and the story had to change to fit Tim bringing his character back. It happens.

As for Buck/Tommy shippers, y’all have got to get off the high horse of Possibility. At the moment, there are so many ways their relationship can go, and the only reason you all are so high and mighty about it, is because you’re technically never going to be wrong until you’re wrong. Which is annoying.

Yes, Tim could choose to have Tommy stick around for another season. Yeah, Buck and Tommy could be endgame. Yeah, Buck and Tommy could… any and everything is possible, but acting as if Tommy is the love of Buck’s life and deserves fan devotion is crazy. Don’t get me wrong, I like the character. He seems nice if a little cocky, but I like that. I like that he’s written as a grown man who, even though he’s changed, still has a little bit of asshole in him.

Because yes, what he did to Buck on their first date was rude. He didn’t explain anything and left him standing outside the restaurant as if he hadn’t just told him he’s never dated a man before, and as if they hadn’t just run into his best friend. It was a dick move. However, it’s also kinda realistic. So I dug it, but that’s also all we really know about him.

Tommy is an army vet, flies helicopters, was a firefighter, and is gay. Which he struggled to come to terms with, and can be a dick. The way y’all treating him like a savior is insane. Y’all are trying to rub it in people’s face that his relationship with Buck is canon while Buddie isn’t, and I don’t understand that. Buck wasn’t even bisexual three episodes ago, so where is this higher than thou attitude even coming from?

The only thing people should be focused on is the fact that Buck is now canonically bisexual. Tim liked the idea and Oliver loved it, so they finally made it happen. Now, his story has even more potential. I’d even go so far as to say season 7 is going to be a cleaning and re-establishing of all the characters, because so many of them feel a little different.

We’ve got bi!Buck, meaning we’ll get to see him in one or more relationships that he isn’t used to being in. We’ve got a new actor playing Harry, and he’s older, meaning they’re going to have to write to his strengths and build a storyline there that is more mature. Bobby and Athena almost died together for real for real, thus hopefully we’ll get to see their relationship evolve and what if it changes them in any way. Chim and Maddie are finally getting married, so we get to see them kickstart a new chapter together. Hen and Karen have a new child, which will hopefully bring them more storylines and hijinks as a family. And Eddie is dealing with forcing himself to accept a relationship he may not even want to be in. And he’s aware this time, which could result in him ignoring his fears or bowing out, then having to face what bowing out means.

Point is, there is no reason for all this drama.

Buddie is not guaranteed just because it is a popular want for fans, and an accepted theory by the actors and showrunner. They’ve all said it has to fit the overall story without forcibly gearing the writing in that direction. Which means it could happen two episodes from now or two seasons from now. We just have to wait and see.

At the same time, Buck and Tommy are not an established couple yet. They’re going on their second date, and it’s been said Tommy isn’t in the last few episodes of the season. So it’s possible he and Buck are still together, but Lou isn’t a series regular nor regular recurring, so he’s just not contracted to be on set. Which is fine, but acting like a quick breakup is also bad storytelling is ridiculous.

Fans have hated Buck’s relationships with women from the jump, and him breaking up fast isn’t exactly new. So if it happens with the first man he dates… okay. Tommy can become more than a stepping stone, but the writers aren’t obligated to make his first experience with a man something deep and profound. It can be fun and eye-opening and still have mattered, even if it ends fast.

Y’all have got to let the stories play out, and not scream bloody murder if your headcanon doesn’t become canon. Because truth be told, Buck being canon bi is the biggest flex of fan service I’ve ever seen, even if I think it adds to the depth of him. So I can’t imagine how difficult it is to be sure not to continue giving that same group of fans everything they want outright, when there’s so much more story to unfold.

Which means they can’t just make Tommy the love of Buck’s life because Buck/Tommy fans have ditched Buddie or were never Buddie shippers, and want to be right. But they also can’t have Eddie come out and he and Buck start dating, because Buddie shippers have waited five seasons. Just wait to see what happens, and in the meantime, enjoy watching Buck discover more of himself. With Tommy as his current love interest, and Eddie as his best friend.

#911 abc #evan buckley #eddie diaz #tommy kinard #buddie #bucktommy

[celticcrossanon]

BRF Reading - 27th of April, 2024

This is speculation only

Cards drawn on the 27th of April, 2024

How is King Charles's health? Is he as well as the articles are making out?

Interpretation: The King wants to get back to work. His body is not so keen on the idea.

Card One: The Knight of Wands

Knights are action cards, so straight away this tells me that the King wants to get back to work. The Knight of Wands represents someone who wants to get things done, they have important tasks they want to complete. This is someone who is enthusiastically manifesting an idea into the world.

However, the Knight of Wands can be rebellious, and they can be an 'act first, think later' person, which suggests to me that the King may be letting his impatience to get back to work so he can push through his idea overrule the need to go slower for the sake of his long term recovery. Maybe. Perhaps. We'll see what the other cards say.

Card Two: The Queen of Swords in reverse

This is not a good energy, and not one that I wanted to see here. In the reverse, the Queen of Swords is a cold, calculating, bitter, deceitful energy. It can also be someone who is overly emotional and is making decisions based on emotion, not on logic. It is this second meaning that is coming through strongly from this card. King Charles is making his decision to go back to work based on his emotions and not on logic (i.e. the doctor's report). He thinks he is ready to go back but I would not be surprised if he finds it far more exhausting than he anticipated when he does return to his face to face visits. He is being ruled by his desire to complete some tasks or do something that is important to him, as per the Knight of Wands, instead of what he should logically do, which appears to be stay home and rest some more (the opposite of his emotion based decision to return to work).

Card Three: The Emperor in reverse

Another not-good card. The Emperor represents the King in his role as King, and in the reverse, with respect to this question, it tells me that King Charles is not well enough to return to work (even though he is going to do it anyway). The Emperor card is reversed, so King Charles's health is reversed, which means it is not good and he needs more rest/time/treatment before he stresses his recovering body by doing things like returning to face to face engagements.

In a general sense, the Emperor in reverse represents some one who is stubborn, a bit reckless, and who wants to be in control. The stubborn energy is coming through here - King Charles wants to get back to work so he will return to work and he won't take heed of any advice to the contrary.

I am really not happy about this card. I am getting very strong energy that The King needs to stay home and not stress himself so his body can recover, and that is the opposite of going back to face to face duties.

Underlying Energy: The Five of Pentacles, reversed

This card represents coming back in after being exiled, which would be The King returning to work after his time away. From a health perspective, this card has mixed meanings. It can mean that the body is beginning to recover from an illness, or it can mean that the illness is worsening and someone is abusing their body. I think both meanings are true here. I think that The King has reached a turning point in his illness and has started to feel a lot better, but I also think that his continued recovery depends on him continuing to stay at home and rest, and that by returning to work he is stressing his body when it is not returned to full health and that might result in a worsening of his illness or a slowing or even reversal of his recovery.

Extra Card: The Magician

I asked if we should believe the media reports of The King's health and the card I drew was the Magician. The Magician is the card of manifesting and of PR spin. This card tells me that the media articles on The King's health are not accurate, they are being spun ti make him appear better/more recovered than he is in fact.

Conclusion:

The King wants to get back to work. That energy came through this reading very clearly. He has some project/s or plan/s that he wants to implement or finish and he wants to get back to work so he can push them through. His decision to return to face to face activities is emotional, not logical, and is likely to have been made with The King not fully considering his doctor's advice (he may be only hearing what he wants to hear - I am sure we have all dealt with patients like that).

The cards say that his health is not good, he is not recovered, he has made a good beginning and/or reached a point where he is starting to feel better, but he needs more rest before his body will be able to cope with the workload of face to face work. The King is being stubborn and insisting on returning to work anyway. So, all we can do is wait and see how that goes.

There is a warning not to believe the media reports of the King's health - they are being spun to make his health appear better than what it is in reality.

I am quite worried about The King's health. I don't think he is going to die, or anything like that, but I do think his return to face to face work is premature and it will rebound on him, leading to a delayed recovery or more health issues later on. I would be much happier if he took another few weeks or month off before returning to his full workload.

[marredmusings]

DENY PART TWO

ok i think i might make a series about my jj x reader x pope fic

also kind of dedicated to @starfxkr bc their blog gets me through the jj pope drought that is on tumblr (if you don't wanna be tagged i'll totally delete but i luv you even tho i don't know you

this isn't technically a part two but it's inspired by my previous fic deny

i'm hoping to maybe fully flesh out a whole mini story about them bc i love jj and pope so bad and i wanna kiss them both and have them kiss each other.

please send me prompts or if you have any ideas or you just wanna gush about jj and pope 💜

i'm a cancer, ok

you've always felt your emotions more deeply than others. you have a lot of feelings and it's not uncommon for you to start tearing up at random times throughout the day when you see something that elicits a strong feeling from you.

kie says it's because you're a cancer and while she's so true because you are the stereotypical emotional water sign, you're not sure how much of your mental state is because of your astrological sign or if you're genuinely a few screws loose in the head.

you remember hiccuping and sobbing into jjs shirt for the better part of half an hour- staining his sleeveless tee with your tears all because you saw a seagull missing a foot and he seemed to be running slower than his other seagull friends. your only relief from the obvious heartbreaking situation was jj softly murmuring comforting words in your ear, his strong arms around circled around your waist, your body snuggled onto his lap. the scene isn't uncommon for the pogues to see. the two of you have always been more affectionate than most.

all of this leads you to where you are now, curled up on your bed sobbing. soft sad music playing in the background making you sob even more. you put on a brave face with your friends but in the sanctuary of your own bed is where you can finally let your feelings free.

seeing pope and jj kiss hurt you more than you originally thought. your mind keeps replaying the scene of the two boys kiss, their lips moving together sensually, saliva being shared. you're sure that if you hadn't interrupted them, the kiss would lead to something more and involving less clothes.

hey google, play "that should be me" by justin bieber.

what if when they start dating they drop you? what if pope isn't comfortable with how touchy or affectionate you are with jj and he stops your cuddles or what if jj doesn't want you to hang out alone with pope because he knows you two kissed. what if they stop needing you because they have each other?

the thought makes a sob crawl up your throat and fat tears roll down your cheeks. you feel like your head is going to explode from how hard your crying. you need them like air, you felt like that even before you and pope kissed and before you realized you're in love with jj. you need them because they're your closest friends- they're the family you so desperately crave because your own doesn't care much for you and you're so scared if they start dating each other then they won't need you.

it's why you give out your love so freely, the feeling of being needed by people is something that is so deeply and inherently buried in your bones. when someone needs you and you can help them, it feels euphoric. a psychologist would probably have a field day with you because if you're not needed, what good are you?

----

"i'm really confused after our kiss" pope mumbles, nervous to look at jj in the eyes.

"good or bad confused" jj responds.

"is there such thing as good confusion?" pope asks, eyebrows furrowed and lips pursed. "i didn't think i was gay or bi or whatever and yeah i think some dudes are hot but like i've never wanted to kiss them but i wanted to kiss you!! and then we kissed and it was like... nice but different and i couldn't help but think about gracie and how she and i kissed and how good that also felt and then i felt guilty and-"

"pope, take a breath" the maybank boy utters, effectively cutting off popes rambles.

"i liked kissing you pope. i never let myself be attracted to dudes but it's you, ya know?" jj continues.

"but i also understand wanting to kiss grace. i... well i want to kiss her too." he finally confesses. he's never said his feelings for his grace out loud before.

pope gently stumbles over to where the maybank boy is perched on his bed, he leans in to grab jjs fidgeting hands, grasping them in what he hopes is a comforting hold.

he leans forward so he can give jj a small peck on the cheek. reassuring him that they're ok, that they'll make it through whatever turmoil they're feeling right now.

jj grabs popes face and brings him in for a deeper kiss, lips and tongues touching. it makes jjs stomach burn with desire. after several minutes or maybe hours of kissing, he's not sure, pope reaches up and pulls on jjs soft blond tresses, tugging on the boys hair a little to pull him away from popes lips. they both let out little gasps when they disconnect.

"have you heard of polyamory?" pope asks jj... a shit eating grin on his lips.

---

giggling and kicking my feet. i love them 💜

#jj maybank #obx #outer banks #pope heyward #jj maybank x reader #my headcanons #jj maybank x oc #pope x reader x jj #pope heyward x reader #pope heyward x oc #my fic

[jo-harrington]

Gratia. (An As Above, So Below Story)

Gratia. Charitas. Solamen. Grace. Charity. Peace. The oath of the Knights of the Holy Order.

Summary: You and Eddie-- separated by time and endless suffering--don't realize how many strings keep you connected on the web of fate. What players are there trying to cut those strings? And when will you both find out that they are unbreakable?

Word Count: 2.1k

Pairing: Eddie Munson/Fem!OC (The Knight - Written in 2nd Person POV - You/Your - No Use of Names of Physical Descriptors)

Warnings/Themes: Soulmates, Kas!Eddie, Angst, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Grief, Minor Character Deaths, Manipulation, Transformation, Corruption, Supernatural Encounters, Religious Elements, Criticism of Religion, Biblical and Other Literary and Pop Culture References

Note: So...originally this was going to be one long thing. A tale about the Knight and Eddie and their unbreakable bond. And I wavered about how relevant it would be to the larger story. How relevant are any of these blurbs to the larger story? But if there's anything I've learned writing AASB, it's that I'm really writing the whole thing for myself. And after finding myself in an odd state of grief that kind of just keeps getting worse over the weekend, I know that this little fic...and the two that follow...really are only going to just be for me to help me get through it, so I need to be true to myself and write them anyway. **So if you do read this, please know it can be read in tandem with As Above, So Below. And you should have at least read the Prequels, with maybe some bonus points for Genesis. Iif you've read the Hymns, this is set before Nachzehrer.**

You can find my masterlist here.

Please do not interact if you are not 18+.

“God is a comedian playing to an audience that is too afraid to laugh.” ― Voltaire

November 10, 1986

"I'm sorry for your loss."

"Thank you."

"She's not suffering anymore. Tranquilla."

"Thank you, I know. She's been sick for a long time. She's at rest now."

"Mom brought mostaccioli. And chicken cutlets. She's setting it up in the other room then she'll be over. You should get some, you need to eat."

"I'll be alright, thank you for coming."

Today was the final day that you would spend with your Nonna.

Well, a more accurate description was that they let you have it.

Let you.

Let you have one day to sit on that stiff funeral home sofa. To stare at her, unrecognizably still in her casket, as friends and neighbors swarmed to offer their condolences. To mourn with you.

But somehow also separately from you.

And tomorrow, after she was behind a cold slab of marble, you'd be off again. Creeping closer to your own death until one day you might be placed in a plot adjacent to her.

Together.

But not really.

If there was anything left of you.

It wouldn't do to think of that today though.

Today, you would sit here. Enjoy your break and bask in the remnants of her soul that still lingered in and around her body.

It brought you some comfort to feel it move the way she did.

It danced like she danced around the kitchen, the boundaries of it crinkling like the wrinkles at the corners of her eyes and mouth. A phantasmic remnant of her lovingly worried gaze was on you every now and again, creating the urge to say "I'm ok Nonnie." To lie to her, like you always did. And whenever one of her friends knelt their own aging bodies to pray at her side, you could practically see the softness of her cushion their jagged edges, comforting them.

You didn’t dare go up yourself though.

Not yet.

Not unless you wanted the Funeral Director to haul you out of the casket because somewhere deep down you just wanted to crawl into it with her and scream,

“Take me with you. Don’t leave me like I left you.”

Because you were not ok.

You closed your eyes as a phantom hand touched your shoulder, as it attempted to soothe the pain deep inside you but only managed to stir up another kind of pain. Another kind of mourning.

If only he was really there, you could ask him to take you with him too. Take you away from here to wherever he and Nonna would wait for you.

An impossible request.

The weight of the sofa shifted beside you and you opened your eyes. You expected to find Fortunata or Antoinette—two of Nonna’s closest friends who could claim a spot beside you if they truly wanted—but instead you found Gabriel’s stiff inhuman posture and expressionless face staring ahead of him at the casket.

“You could have helped her,” you said instead of a greeting. What good would a greeting do? “Healed her.”

You briefly wondered if you'd imagined the corner of his mouth quirking before he spoke.

“And if I told you I had? If I spared her a worse fate? Lessened her pain? Lessened yours?”

“I wouldn’t believe you.”

“Then I won’t tell you.”

You turned back to watch the casket with an unsatisfied hum.

Time passed and you sat silently together as you fought to keep your emotions in check with Gabriel's presence. You weren't nervous, per se; more annoyed. Angry, even. Questioning why he was here on this day out of all days.

All your life, you explained away his presence as a guardian. Unseen and unknown to everyone but you. He used to protect you or so you could recall, but as you got older that seemed to stop.

And he was more of a harbinger of doom than a deterrent of it.

Well, not doom.

Fate.

Or God's will or some shit like that. You didn't know anymore. Didn't care. You only cared about getting to the finish line. Freeing your soul of this curse. Getting your prize.

Heaven. Home. Peace with the ones you loved.

With Nonna.

With Eddie.

So if Gabriel was here, it meant something was about to happen. Something unsavory. Something...

You blinked and he disappeared from your peripheral vision suddenly, and just beyond the space he had previously occupied, stood a man in a black cassock.

Jinette approached you but you didn't give him the satisfaction of your attention until he said your name and offered his condolences.

"May I sit?" he gestured beside you.

"Seat's taken," you responded coldly.

"Ah, your mother, yes," he nodded in realization, and you watched him pull a chair up from one of the rows behind you.

You wouldn't be the one to tell him that your mother hadn't shown her face since you arrived back in Chicago late last night. She had done her duty, arranged the funeral and called you home. Beyond that her obligation was almost over; she could be free.

There had been a brief moment between the two of you when you let yourself into Nonna's flat and found her at the table surrounded by paperwork and old pictures, and you thought for the briefest second that this might be a turning point. That she might exhume whatever love she used to have for you, buried so deep in her heart, so you wouldn't have to mourn alone.

Instead she said she was sorry, then kissed your cheek and left.

And really you only had yourself to blame at the disappointment that punctuated the interaction. How could you have expected anything more than that when the bar was already set so low?

"California is a long way to come just for funeral rites," you said once Jinette was settled.

"I'm afraid that's not what I'm here for."

"Then to attend a funeral of a very devout woman," you amended.

"I'm not here for that either." You would give it to him, the remorse plastered on his features almost looked sincere. "Unfortunately, there is a very dire situation and the Order is in need of your experti--"

"No," you cut him off swiftly. "Tomorrow. You can ask me to go tomorrow. Not today."

The usual coldness of his gaze returned and he addressed you stiffly.

"You cannot refuse. Must not. This is your duty."

You turned to him, hand shooting from your lap of its own volition to grab his robe and pull him close enough that your noses practically touched.

The funeral goers around you began to murmur--your Nonna's friends whispering in fear and shame, saying a prayer to spare them of whatever wrath would befall you for defying and possibly harming his eminence--but you ignored them.

You knew you might pay for it later, but for now your rage was warranted.

"Don't lecture me about duty," you hissed at Jinette. "My entire life has been about duty. Her life too. If you want me to go? You'll beg me. Not guilt me. But I promise that the answer will still be no."

Something wicked flickered inside of you, and you wondered if you could smite Jinette. Just a little bit. If you could channel the deep-rooted grudge against your plight and let him feel the consequences that waited to befall someone who had nurtured it.

Then you felt a slight disturbance in the room.

The calm of Nonna's soul was shaken from its bliss, and you could practically hear the sharp, punishing clicks of her tongue as you fisted Jinette's robe tighter and tighter. The flame of the candles beside her casket flickered, the leaves on the flower arrangements that filled the room began to wilt, and the whispers around you got louder until they roared in your ears.

Your eyes burned with unshed tears as the feeling of Nonna's disappointment surrounded you--filled you--and you fought it for as long as you could.

But if anyone here was going to reprimand you in this room, in this world, it would be her.

You let Jinette go and fell back into the couch with your arms crossed tightly over your chest. He heaved several heavy breaths and patted his chest pathetically.

"Tomorrow," you told him as Nonna's soul and the murmurs of the people around you settled back down into a serene silence.

The tears finally fell after he left, and you closed your eyes as Eddie's ghostly touch softly wiped them away.

"Tomorrow..."

November 6, 1983

Twang.

He enjoyed it.

Twang.

Enjoyed plucking the guitar strings and letting the reverberation travel along his fingertips and into the very core of him.

Twang.

Deep down in that dark pit where you seemed to hide, every note was like a starburst of brightness and good feelings. Things so foreign and forgotten to him now, yet still so integral to Eddie Munson.

He wasn't Eddie anymore though.

So he resented the fact that he enjoyed it so much.

"Play something," you would whisper in those hidden depths, like a devil on his shoulder, and he constantly fought the temptation to follow that urge. "Play me a song, I know you know how."

He never gave in though.

Could never give in.

It was bad enough that he hid you from Henry, that he even listened to you at all. But feeling something--doing something--was better than feeling nothing in the boring, timeless eternal void of the Upside Down. So he would allow himself these brief visits to the trailer, he would tolerate your soft words and the ever-present softness of the ghost that seemed to haunt him here, so he could pluck a few twangs of the guitar strings and bask in the sparks of euphoria they would bring.

And it was enough. It had to be enough.

Then, when he got bored or hungry or irritated by you, away he would go again.

"I would argue that me being annoying is the reason you still keep me around."

He hissed at you and pulled his hands away from the guitar spitefully.

Twang.

He watched as one of the strings seemed to pluck itself and debated whether he could reach out and take a swipe at you, but there was a sudden pain beneath his sternum. Odd, seeing as he barely felt pain in this body now. He clicked his claws together contemplatively, then hesitantly rubbed at it to soothe the ache, and as he did, he felt the echoes of your soft sigh somewhere deep inside him.

He faltered for a moment, unsure if he should feel some sort of satisfaction that he had comforted you, or resentment that he had fallen for it.

He hated you. Hated your presence there. Hated that you were somehow here when you left him to this fate. Hated that you made him weak again when Henry had remade him to be strong. Infallible.

You might very well be his downfall one day.

And still he couldn't fathom being without you again.

He growled deeply and, unexpectedly, the trailer shook around him, walls clattering, remnants of knick knacks falling.

For a moment, he watched it in awe. Believed that he was the cause of it. That the power Henry had helped him unlock had been activated with his spite.

Until everything started to shake.

The Upside Down became unsettled, the very ground beneath him shifting with some seismic agitation. Roiling and churning, changing.

There was a cacophony of restlessness through the collective consciousness as all of the creatures of the Upside Down felt the disturbance. As Henry felt the disturbance and questioned its origin, because it had not been of his design.

Almost immediately, he was singled out amongst the masses, ordered to his Master's side.

Who else could find the cause of this turmoil than Henry's right hand? His loyal servant? The Beast he created to strike on his behalf, to herald in the end?

Eddie didn't hesitate.

He left the trailer and took flight swiftly and dutifully, beating his wings powerfully to get to Henry as quickly as he could.

To get away from you as quickly as he could.

You and your comfortable constant presence in the respite of the trailer.

“Do not be afraid. Our fate cannot be taken from us; it is a gift.” ― Dante Alighieri, Inferno

#aasb #as above so below #eddie munson x reader #eddie munson #Eddie Munson x oc #Eddie Munson fic #stranger things fic

[camgoloud]

colin: i’m gay

ted, radiating youth pastor energy: you know who else played for the other team?

#is this anything? i don’t even know anymore #PLEASE DO NOT MISINTERPRET I LOVED THE TED SPEECH I REALLY AND TRULY DID #i just think. in addition to saying the exact right thing to the team and especially colin re: the importance of actively supporting others #in moments like these rather than playing neutral etc. it is also just so fucking funny and so perfectly ted that he went searching #for an analogy and immediately came up with. denver broncos fans. they’re just like gay people for real #these two things can and should both be true #ted lasso #ted lasso spoilers #colin hughes

[qkmlh]

Still ducking hilarious to me that Zoro & Sanji began their beef because they thought the other was misogynistic and it came to a head of no return when Zoro felt his title of ‘Luffy’s specialest boi’ threatened by Sanji’s comment

#MY DUDES PLEASE YOU’VE BOTH GOT THAT FEMINIST JUICE FLOWING YES THESE TWO THINGS IDEAS CAN BE TRUE AND EXIST BUT THEN!! BUT THEN!!!! #Zoro takes Sanji’s WE + NEED + HIM (Luffy) SO DUCKING P E R S O NA. L DEADASS STRUCK THE LOUDEST DAMN CORE IN ALL OF ZORO AND RAISED EVERY #DAMN ALARM POSSIBLE #Aaaaaand ‘You just got here /you/ don’t know what Luffy needs’ MY GOOD FIRST MATE OF A MAN C A L M D O W N N N IT IS /NOT/ THAT DEEP #‘I know he needs my cooking’ SANJII NOOOOO DON’T FALL FOR IT #‘Like what putting two slices of bread together’ Oh god. oh no. we are never coming back from this (pure hilarious joyous disaster) Ever! #Roronoa Zoro #Black Leg Sanji #Monkey D. Luffy #One Piece Live Action #OPLA #One Piece #All jokes aside tho Zoro was right to make sure they didn’t go inside to aid their captain #They would’ve been more of a distraction than help because Luffy wouldn’t have been able to let loose as much as he did #Zoro’s a good first mate but also buddy my guy my dude Sanji does NOT want your job bud ain’t nobody want your job especially when Luffy #made it very clear /you/ are worth more to him than /food/ #Somebody should tell Zoro that tho man could use the affirmation #But also…my guy…what were you so jealous so hissy so darn quick to b!tch for helpp ☕️🤧💀 #Zolu #Ani Rambles #Luzo

[no-light-left-on]

hot take but taking every hearsay or rumor or book in a fictional universe for fact is bad understanding of the world as the story presents it, actually

#li.txt #this is both about dishonored and elder scrolls #propaganda exists! artistic interpretation exists! lie exist! people make shit up! #you cant take anything literally unless youre seeing it for yourself imo #if someone is telling you a story about their life they might omit information or make themselves look better! thats how people work! #or if you hear idk some musicians singing in the streets about an ancient myth from 4k years ago maybe dont take it for fact #this is a direct callout to people shitting on born in the month of darkness #if anything they were trying to make the outsider sound like a pathetic wet cat in need of a warm blanket and food. a poor meow meow #unless stuff is confirmed by the characters themselves Im not gonna believe it fully #the books are also often just. not true. theyre scientific speculation Just Like Real Life #or full on propaganda. just like - you guessed it - real life! #the best example that I can think of is how theres two books on the war of betony island in daggerfall. political!! propaganda!!! #not to mention: people will deceive you on purpose! omit details or full on Lie in your face #like Im sure theres stuff we completely misunderstood cause the one thing we were told about it was by someone bullshitting #like with delilah talking about her tragic backstory. like dont get me wrong I 100% believe that it all happened #but also I doubt she was as pitiful and that the Very Quick Summary was all there is to it #I should probably specify that if youre down to believing absolutely everything when there isnt any other sources thats fine #esp if you want to believe it for the reasons of Oh This Is Cool #like people absolutely eating up the angsty backstory for the outsider (me included cause yes. angst.) #have fun with all that #this is mostly about all the people throwing a temper tantrum online about disliking something about canon #'why do the musicians know the backstory why cant they leave anything vague anymore:/' theyre artists melinda its their job ur doing the sam #unless this was confirmed by the outsider in the books idk I cant find those damn things #if something is Stated by a Character or Written in a Novel that is in the world theres always some doubt #like I genuinely doubt that the events of Young Prince of Tyvia happened the way they do in the books #so like yknow. if you hate stuff so much just. ignore the canon established by literal in-game fiction

[sysig]

TVAU Outfit, coming someday (Patreon)

#Doodles #Just Desserts #Villainsona #True Villainy AU #I still have Zero ideas that I haven't already touched on and rejected lol #I know what I'm Not looking for but a design that I'm happy with all the way around eludes me #It can't look too Queenly and it can't have too much of Charm's original colours or shapes #But it also can't Just look like Kaiein either! #The whole point is that he's influencing her from the shadows - he doesn't want his fingerprints to overshadow hers #Mostly for plausible deniability but it's also an ego thing for him #A kind of ''Look what I've made'' without it just Being Him Again #The real problem is that his ego is in conflict with itself he always wants the impossibly high expectation met #He both wants it to be her and not him as well as having an obvious influence but not So noticeable fdlsafjdf #He's infuriating #But that is by design :/ Damn it lol #The middle two could probably be from S2Classic! No AU needed! Wowie! #Expectation and High Standards and Living Up To Your Potential are some of his big themes - external validation thaaaaanks #Charm is under no obligation to live up to standards or expectations set by someone who's not actually interested in her happiness #''Potential'' pff just because you Can doesn't mean you Should - that's kind of her whole villainy deal lol #But that's why he's a great reinforcement-lesson for S2 #Archive - Uploaded June 22nd 2023 #There have been a few developments since then :3c #The biggest blockades to fully publishing this was the last two panels of the minicomic lol - they were in limbo for like a month #Finally finished! A sort of sequel to the set of them trying to come up with an outfit and him shouting her down #He deserves to get things thrown at him

[alltimefail]

As a diehard Byler, I personally haven't cared about the Stranger Things reddit "worst ship" poll going on (and I'm sure many of you feel the same way). I have found it silly how worked up people seem over there because people are *checks notes* um... voting. In the public poll. Many times they're even voting in line with what the comments want (so in agreement with the redditors) but somehow having a shared opinion is... unionizing? Idk lmao it's just very funny to me!!! (Especially because I honestly think the current final 4 make the most sense.)

That being said, I have to admit that I'm lowkey excited to FINALLY vote Jancy out. Praying it is their time to go. 🙌

(I promise I don't hate Nancy/Jonathan/or Steve. My jumbled thoughts are in the tags, please ignore any typos I noticed later and was too lazy to fix.)

#if Byler made it far that was a cool bonus #at this point I just want to see both of Nancy's ships go away because frankly... #I dislike both Stancy and Jancy. I'm sorry but it is true #neither ship makes anyone involved better or happier imo 😬 #my ideal ending for both El AND Nancy is that they girlboss on their own for a while #Jonathan's characterization has been dedicated to that ship for TOO LONG and he's too good of a #character to have him only serve as Nancy's boyfriend #and I'm sorry but the fact that she is still unsure or confused between the two tells me she should just #worry about herself!! She should just focus on her ambition and follow her intuition which is telling her two be with neither of them imo #she likes things about both of them I think and I do think she loves Jonathan #but I just don't think their long term goals and current state of their relationship is indicative of a relationship built to last #and that's okay!!! sometimes when you love someone you come to a point that the truest act of love you can give is letting them go!! #anyway long explanation to say... Steve and Nancy and Jonathan are all better characters independent of their relationships #I'm hoping Jancy goes next. It's my truth and I'm gonna speak it (even if I know it is unpopular lol) #stranger things #reddit ship poll #st reddit ship elimination #st reddit #byler #<- target audience

[s1renidae]

always fun hanging out with my much cooler and more interesting childhood friends and hearing about all the shit they're up to and then they ask me what's going on in my life and i have to be like uh. nothing tee hee :) still unemployed and not in school and practically hobbyless because of chronic fatigue and executive dysfunction :) still obtrusively mentally ill and for some reason cant stop talking about it even when i don't want to and i can tell youre sick of hearing about it :) and then it's awkward for a minute cuz neither of us know what to say mmmmm literally someone just shoot me already

#note i use the term “childhood friends” loosely bcuz theyre my friends from middle school when i was like 13/14/15 #but i dont have any actual childhood friends bcuz no one from my actual childhood likes me. so :P #and like the thing is im being harsh on myself i know that!!! i draw and go to concerts and do volunteer work and rock climb sometimes #but the thing is i never think to say any of that one because they take up a very small amount of my time most of my days r just wasted awa #and two because they always ask after theyve talked about their lives which are. objectively way cooler or at least more successful #and then all i can think about how is how much i wish i was more like them </3 which has been true since we first met #so i guess i should be used to it but I'm not. it still hurts it hurts so bad #and the worst part is they both mean so so much to me even if we dont talk much and i know for a fact i don't mean the same to them #bcuz theyre the type of people who can. go places and do things and talk to people!!!! so theyve always had more options then me #but i always made friends so rarely and so fleetingly that im still holding onto those memories and onto them for dear life #idk long rant i wish i had more energy i wish i didnt struggle so much to make friends and find community i wish i had more to offer #i wish a lot of things that can just never happen #and i know its not fair to drag them into my self loathing like that and i know i can't hate myself into a version of myself i can love #but fuck man its so hard. why is everything so hard #.txt

[myname-isnia]

Just cried for two hours straight. It seems that no good mood of mine can last for too long.

#what has it been. a day? #one good day was enough to convince me that maybe not all hope is lost. maybe I can still feel happy #and what a day it was. I’m not surprised I let myself believe that I will be okay. who wouldn’t #I’d give anything to feel like that again. to feel like that all the time #it feels like a glimpse of a parallel universe #one where I’m happy. where I find joy in what I create. but it’s not real. none of it is #it’s a passing feeling. it envelopes me whole until I feel all warm and fuzzy and then douses me in freezing water #it never lasts more than a day or two. then I’m right back to who I really am #a miserable wreck who’d rather die than face what the future might bring #because the future feels both unbearable and nonexistent #I tend to say that the happy and creative girl who finishes art pieces in a matter of hours and types up thousands of word of fic #who rambles on and on without stopping. spurred on by nothing but her imagination #is my real self. that I feel like I’m becoming myself again when I get like that #but that’s just not true. that’s not who I am. not someone I ever was #I never had a pre traumatised self. maybe that is who I would have grown up to be if the circumstances were different #but this is the way things are. the way I am. that girl doesn’t truly exist #if she did she’d be here more often than once in a blue moon #may I should have let go of those stupid dreams of one day being okay long ago #I can’t even say ‘okay again’ because I never have been. it’s almost like I was born broken #maybe then I wouldn’t cry my eyes out every time I’m so harshly reminded of it #no matter how many times this happens I fall for it over and over again. time to accept that none of it is real #nothing makes me happy. not really. it just distract me from my mind long enough for me to catch a tiny break from all the misery #then it call comes rushing back. I don’t even like astraphobia anymore. and I was so so excited when I wrote it and didn’t hate myself #everything fades. everything disappears. all that’s left are the ruins of the girl I never got to be #I keep sobbing my heart out all alone. practically begging for someone to notice and care and tell #me all the pretty lies I’m so desperate to hear and will believe without a doubt. I keep getting excited about something only to #lose my spark within days if not hours. I can barely even look at myself. I make myself sick #I hate myself and everything I’ve ever created #I don’t even know if I’ll make it to my 18th birthday. I can’t promise that I will. I can’t find a single reason to #there’s nothing to look forward to. no future ahead of me. no beautiful afar like in that old song. there’s no point