Tumgik
#they can't sleep so they stay up together talking about nothing and everything and end up dozing off
berrydoodleoo · 4 months
Text
Tumblr media
should you begin to lose heart, look to me
(rendered in Blender Cycles, click for higher resolution)
#ffxiv#haurchefant greystone#alphinaud leveilleur#tataru taru#my art#line is haurchefant's from the divine intervention quest when wol has the trial by combat for alphy and tataru#should you begin to lose heart#look to me in the stands#and I shall cheer so loud#you will wonder how you could ever have contrived to doubt yourself#i've been replaying the post HW quests#and i realized i really like the lighting in fortemps manor#the windows have a cool blue glow and the lamps are warm and yellowy#so i wanted to try recreating that in blender#and then i had the idea of a cuddle pile on the couch#which morphed into this#i'm picturing this as taking place directly after the scions take refuge in ishgard#they can't sleep so they stay up together talking about nothing and everything and end up dozing off#and then wol has a panic attack#i wanted to capture that sleepy feeling of freaking out as quietly as possible because someone is sleeping nearby#the hushed quiet of the snow and the sibilant whispering and haurchefant's steely-eyed intensity#i mean he loves the wol so much and believes in them so relentlessly#if you were having a breakdown because the new friends who you've just been getting used to and thinking of as family are all dead#and you feel like it's all your fault#and now you have these broken-hearted kids who are dependent on you for safety and purpose#not to mention the rest of the world#in that situation#haurchefant's affection would be overwhelming#devastating and unbearable in its sweetness#this started as a holiday thing which i guess it kind of still is depending on your holiday feelings so uh. here we go
55 notes · View notes
space-matt · 1 month
Note
Could I request a Matt x reader.They have been dating for a while but the reader has never left that honey moon stage.One day Matt is not having a good day and the readers presence make him on edge.He ends up blowing up on her calling her overbearing and clingy.Things shift and she becomes more distant,for a while he feels ok but he starts to miss the relationship they way it was before.when he tries to talk to the reader she cries to him about the whole situation.He is really sorry and does his best to make it up to her.
I’ll make it up to you 
matt.sturniolo x fem.reader
summary: It's really true that you understand the value of things when you lose them.. Matt figured it out too late, but will he be able to make up for it?
request: yes 
author’s note: thank u so much for the request!! I hope you’ll enjoy it ♡ I added the song that helped me to write it. For everything I’m here!
----------------------
English is not my first language, if you see grammar and typing mistakes, I apologize in advance! I just ask you not to be rude to me ♡
---------------------
revised
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
Still lying in bed you feel the heat coming from the window left half open in Matt’s room, with your eyes closed you stretch by turning to the other side meeting a boulder of a blanket, you reach out your hand in search of your favorite person but to your surprise, your hand leans on the mattress, so you open your eyes trying to focus and notice that half of the bed is empty.
You've been together for seven months and thirteen days now, and you have to say that they are the best months of your life; Having never had previous relationships, it can be said that Matt is your first true and actual relationship in your 20 years of life. 
Everything had started as a pure joke between you two to make fun of Chris and his girlfriend Maddy, but the more time passed, the more you began to feel real feelings towards the boy who unlike you had liked you for a long time, but for fear of being considered only and solely a friend, he wanted to avoid putting his heart in the foreground and listening to the rational part of his brain. 
But fate wanted that one evening while you were saying goodbye to go to your own house, the moment you were about to press a kiss against his cheek, Matt turned earlier than expected causing your lips to collide, making you immediately move away but when you stopped to look into his eyes you saw in both of them a spark to burst a breathless kiss.
It must be said, from that moment you have been together, indeed perhaps precisely because it is your first relationship that you try to always make everything go for the best unlike Matt who still had his first relationships during his adolescence that, however, according to him, ''they can't compete with you''. Of course, it scares you that sooner or later it may get bored or otherwise lose interest in you, but you still try to eliminate this thought and be the best girlfriend in the world. 
So you get out of bed by completely opening the window so that the room can change air, leaving the bed undone; Take your change in the drawer that Matt has free so that you can put some of your things when you stay at his house to sleep, and you head to the next bathroom without noticing who is in the open space connected by a small corridor to his room.
Meanwhile Matt was lying on the sofa, the TV turned on in the background, with the phone in his hand looking at the various social networks but his mind was elsewhere, indeed the day had started in the wrong direction.
All night you did nothing but stay attached to him not making him move, which didn't make him sleep a wink and that's why he was quite nervous.
His brothers were still in their respective rooms changing, as they would then be out all day under your precise instructions, as you wanted to spend a day entirely with Matt before leaving for spring break in two weeks. 
When Nick and Chris find themselves in the living room ready to go out, Matt pulls up his head ''Do we have any meetings today?'' He asks confused getting up and putting the phone in his pocket ''The two of us yes, you have the day off today.. enjoy it'' Chris replies with a grin on his face which vanishes when he hears a puff from him ''Wow I didn't expect all this enthusiasm '' exclaims ironic Nick going to the door of the house ''Please let me come with you, I need to disconnect, I need air'' Matt responds whispering so as not to be heard by you ''Sorry MattyB but no'' says Chris taking a can of Pepsi from the fridge and then he goes out too.
Another puff comes out of his lips knowing he has to stay with you all day, and resignedly throws himself back on the couch closing his eyes.
When he feels your steps approaching a sense of annoyance and nervousness pervades his body, he can't even understand the reason for all this but it's already been a couple of days that he just wants to have a moment for him, but with you in the middle it's almost completely impossible.
On the other hand, you do not notice anything different, perhaps because taken by too much love even the most obvious things go unnoticed by your eyes in the shape of a little heart. 
All happy you go to the kitchen take water pouring it into a glass, you notice Matt on the sofa, you leave the glass on the counter and go in his direction lowering yourself to his height ''Babe, let's go out for breakfast?'' you ask trying to caress his hair but at your touch, he moves by sitting down looking at you ''I can't, I have to go out'' he responds annoyed without even looking at you, leaving you a little surprised but doesn't give up trying with a ''Then when you come back we can go for a ride at Lake Hollywood Park, right?'' hopeful in one of his answers but the only thing he pronounces is a ''See you later'' without greeting you and leaving the house, leaving you standing in the middle of the living room. 
The hours go by and so does your enthusiasm, you start thinking about the worst situations in your mind, which do nothing but increase your paranoia;
Okay maybe you recognize that in the last period, you have always been with them but although it has been almost a year since you moved to Los Angeles, you have not been able to make many friends due to your armor that you tend to raise when it comes to new people. But with Nick, Chris, and Matt it's different, you've known them since you were little, and with them, there was never a need to create a wall to protect you, because they are your guardian angels.
You've always gotten along, except for a few quarrels which is normal, but you've never noticed before behaviors so distant from Matt, as if your presence wasn't welcome.
When you hear the door open you hope that your boyfriend's figure will come out of the stairs but you recognize the voices of Chris and Nick, you resign yourself completely on the couch with your pajamas and the tray of ice cream on your legs.
''Ookay... why are you at home? Didn't you have to go out?'' Nick asks looking at you confused ''By the way where is Matt?'' Keep looking around ''I have no idea'' you answer him in a subtle voice while you eat a spoonful of vanilla ice cream, you feel the tears stop at the corners of your eyes, so you don't see you turn your head on the other side putting the teaspoon in the tray ''He came out this morning and never came back, I tried to text him and call him a couple of times but I didn't receive an answer'' you keep whispering closing your eyes making the tears fall.
You feel the package of ice cream being removed from your legs and two arms that surround you, from the essence that envelops you, you recognize that is Chris and with your eyes still closed you abandon yourself in a liberating cry after holding it all day ''Shh, it's okay'' he whispers massaging your back ''You know that now and then he has its relapses and behaves like this'' he keeps trying to reassure you.
You pull up with your nose and detach yourself from his arms ''But with me, he had never behaved this way.. at all he always came to me'' you explain looking in his direction receiving almost an expression of pity on his face ''What do you say if we order something and watch a movie here all together? We will make you choose'' announces trying to cheer you up But on your part, he only receives a nod with your head.
Even though he had spent the whole day outside walking around the crowded streets of Santa Monica, his mind did nothing but think about the time to get home, the only thought of having you always stuck made him take his breath away, of course he cared you but this so much physical contact, at that time, was leading him to detach himself from everything, but especially from you.
That's why he had waited for a late time to come back, so as not to have to face you trying to postpone everything to the day of your departure. But you know how his thought works more than yourself, in this way after finishing watching your comfort movie together with the two boys, you decide not to go to sleep right away but to stay on the couch not being able to stay alone in bed without Matt by your side, with the knowledge of having done something wrong. 
The fact that there was no communication between the two of you was new, you have always been the anchor of each other, and not being it in a short time has completely upset you, especially not understanding how to act, and consequently how to find a solution. 
The silence that reigns in the house is broken by the noise of the keys that are inserted into the door patch, your heart begins to beat quickly but you remain motionless sitting with your gaze turned in his direction, while he tries to slowly climb the entrance stairs but when it reaches the last one, he stops seeing you pulling his eyes up ''you shouldn’t have waited up for me, there was no need'' he says changing towards the fridge taking a bottle of water but no longer being able to hold back your thoughts for you ''What have I done? It's all day that you avoid me indeed it's days that you behave strangely'' you blurt out getting up to get closer to him, and given your height difference you are forced to pull up your head to look him better in the eyes.
As you stand in front of Matt, you can feel the bitterness in his words cutting deep into your heart. "What did you do to me?" he asks, his voice laced with anger and frustration. "There's that you've become overbearing and clingy. I can't take it anymore. You're always sticky, I never have a free moment, and if I have it, you're always there" he exclaims with clenched teeth and a hard look.
His words strike you like a bolt of lightning, and you take a step back, not believing what you're hearing. "We weren't like that before, and now I understand why no one has ever wanted you" he adds with wickedness, making you feel small and insignificant.
You try to speak, but your voice catches in your throat. You know what you've been through, and you've always hoped that Matt would understand. But instead, he holds it against you, making you feel like an outcast.
"You're an asshole" you finally manage to say, raising your voice as tears slide down your face. It's not like you to use such harsh words, but you're hurt and angry, and you can't help it.
At that moment, Matt opens his eyes, and you can see the surprise and shock on his face. He had never heard you say such a thing to him. Among all people, it was always you who used a calm tone, even in the most difficult situations.
Seeing you rush into his room, he follows you around, but when he sees that you start to take your bags, he realizes that he has exaggerated. "What do you do?" he asks, trying to take your arm. But with all the anger that you had in your body, in very little, you wriggle from his grip. "Let go of me" you say in a dry tone.
"I'm not going to stay in the room with you anymore. I'll go to Nick's, and I'll bring all my stuff" you finish, closing the zip and dragging the bag on the ground. As you come out of his room, you find yourself facing the two guys who, from the screams, immediately catapulted to see what had happened.
As you ask Nick for help, you feel exhausted and drained from the situation at home. Without even turning to see him, his hand takes the bag from yours and you head up to the room with the older brother. In the distance, you hear Chris saying, "Dude you have already done too much damage, let her be."
Days pass by, but the situation at home remains the same.
After receiving some harsh words, you decide to build a wall between you and Matt and try to avoid being alone with him.
You attempt to behave like a mature person, spending more time with the two brothers and going out on your own when they can't accompany you.
Matt, on the other hand, feels good when you're not around. However, as time passes, guilt starts to creep in, and he realizes that he doesn't want to push away the one person who means the world to him.
He understands this even more when you don't even look at him at the airport and leave without a single glance. "Why did I do wrong to her?" he says to himself as he watches you go through security checks. "Because you're a jerk, that's why" answers Nick, watching him with a serious expression.
Although he regrets his actions, Matt is determined to make things right between you two. Without telling anyone, he packs his backpack with only the bare minimum and heads off to the other side of the country.
Spring break is coming to an end, and leaving your family and friends in Boston again feels like a stab in the heart. This time, it hurts even more because you know that once you get back, you'll have to fend for yourself completely, starting with finding an apartment.
You and your family were having a pleasant evening playing board games when you heard the doorbell ring. "Were you expecting someone?" you asked, moving your pawns on the board. "No, we weren't. Why don't you go and answer it?" your mother replied, gazing at you with a gentle expression. You got up from your spot, a little confused.
As you reached the door, you saw Matt standing outside with a bouquet of your favorite tulips and a puppet with the words <I'm stupid> written on it. The sight of the flowers made you smile, but you didn't let your guard down completely.
''Please, I have to talk to you''
"You have five minutes" you told him as you closed the door behind you and sat on the porch, keeping a distance. He handed you the flowers and the puppet, and you accepted them, putting the flowers next to you and holding the puppet in your hands.
"I'm sorry" he began, fiddling with your fingers. "I know I'm not good with words, but I realize now that I was wrong to say what I said.
I shouldn't have blamed you like that. I just wanted to talk to you and explain my side of things."
He paused, looking down, and when he looked up again, his eyes were watery. You felt your own eyes fill up with tears, too.
"I don't want to lose you" he said, touching your cheek. You closed your eyes and put your hand on his. "I was an asshole, but I understand that now that you're gone."
You spoke up, your voice barely above a whisper. "It was a low blow. You've never made me feel so small and helpless before. But I have to admit, I've been clingier than usual lately. That's just my way of showing you love, and if you don't like it, we can end it here."
"No way" he said, taking a step closer. "I flew over 2,500 miles to see you and tell you I love you more than anything. We just need to communicate better and make sure we're both happy. I'm here because I want to be and make it up to you." concludes by looking into your eyes '' I love you too... but please let's not hurt ourself anymore'' you leaned your forehead against his and felt his lips on yours in a gentle kiss.
When you pulled away, you grinned and grabbed the puppet. "Would you be him?" you asked, laughing together.
----------------------------------------------------
Taglist:  @sturniolosreads @mayhem-72 @dracoflaco @lyzsaphrodite @ifilwtmfc @xoxo4chrisss @soimightlikeoldmen69 @inlovewithmattstur @sturniolobendystrawsposts @tillies33ssss @junnniiieee07
359 notes · View notes
iamcalmdammit · 1 year
Text
Sleepless night || [Simon "Ghost" Riley x f!reader]
note: this was supposed to be something completely different but then simon turned into a lovesick puppy somehow. what do you think?
Tumblr media
Simon could only hear the sound of an explosion nearby and see the smoke from where he was, but Soap was close, he reported it was the same building you were in. His heart was racing, his thoughts wandering a little too far as he thought about the worst case scenario.
"Echo 3-7, come in," There was no response. "Echo 3-7, do you copy?" He forced himself to sound calm, but in reality he was everything but calm. He was losing his mind, getting into a thought spiral he was afraid he wouldn't be able to escape until you finally said something. "Y/N, please, say something," he tried again, this time sounding desperate.
"Lt., I have a visual on her, she seems to be okay," came Soap's voice through his earpiece.
"Are you sure it's her?"
"Positive. From here it seems like she's trying to use her radio."
Right, it must be it, it just doesn't work properly after you being so close to the explosion. Maybe you didn't even hear him calling out for you. "Must be the result of the blast," he noted eventually.
"Probably. I'm on my way there." Some time passed in silence which made him think Soap didn't feel like chatting this time around. But he was wrong as the sergeant broke the silence not a whole five minutes later. "So her real name is Y/N?"
After letting out a long sigh, Simon closed his eyes. "Yes," he replied, knowing well enough what was about to come.
"Why did she tell you?"
"She had her reasons."
"You two are close, aren't you?"
"Not anymore."
"I bet she has seen you without the mask," Soap said and it was clear through his voice that he was smiling to himself.
"She has."
"You were dating, weren't you?"
Okay, this was getting out of hand. "Don't push your luck, sergeant," Simon warned him.
"Okay, fine, I'll stop, sir."
"Thank you. What's your status?"
"Almost there. No sight of the attackers."
Good. At least you weren't in danger now. He could only hope you had no injuries of any kind, like a nasty internal bleeding you didn't notice due to the spike in your adrenaline level. He couldn't lose you, not now and not like this.
There were so many things he wanted to say after what had happened between you. He fucked up big time and it was by now crystal clear to him that you had to talk about your relationship. You had to fix it. He had to fix it.
"She's fine, Lt., only has a couple of bruises and cuts," Soap's voice came through the earpiece again. "Her radio is dead, we'll stay together from now on."
"Copy. I'll get the car and pick you up. Stay where you are."
"Understood."
The car ride back to the team's temporary base passed in complete silence. You didn't say a word, mostly focused on the city around you instead, while Soap was clearly torn between asking a bunch of questions from the two of you and keeping silent as it was none of his business. In the end he kept his eyes on your environment, making sure no one was following you.
You didn't talk to him. Aside from a short thanks back when you had gotten into the car in front of the building, you said absolutely nothing. He didn't mind as having a conversation in front of the others now would have been torture. It was hard to control his emotions and since you didn't want the rest of the team to find out about your history, it was best to keep quiet for now.
Late at night, around two or three in the morning, Simon woke up. He was staring at the ceiling for a while, thinking about you. Again. But this time he had enough. He couldn't wait any longer. So he quietly stood up and walked over to where you were sleeping.
"Hey, Y/N, wake up," he said, gently putting a hand on your shoulder.
"Why?" you asked groggily.
"Let's talk."
"Now? What time is it anyway?"
"Late, but it can't wait."
"All right."
The pair of you walked to a room far from the others and he quickly put his hands on your shoulders as he looked you in the eye. "You sure you're okay?" he asked worriedly.
"Yeah, I'm good."
"I'm glad to hear that." Biting on his lower lip under the mask, he thought about how to proceed. It was a dangerous conversation that could go wrong any second. "After seeing the place explode I thought I'd lost you," Simon admitted after some thinking.
You let out a short laugh upon hearing this. "It's not that easy to get rid of me."
"That I know."
Silence fell between you and he could see you were struggling to figure out what to say. "Is this why you woke me up?" you asked in the end.
"No, I actually wanted to tell you something," he quickly replied before gulping. "I fucked up, I know that now."
"Took you long enough."
You were right, he couldn't argue with this statement. "Every time I saw you with Alex, knowing how much he knows about you--the real you," he began uncertainly but didn't finish the sentence just yet. After inhaling and exhaling, he eventually said, "It was too much and I definitely misread the situation."
"And?" you asked expectantly.
"You're just friends, more like siblings. I get it, I have no reason to be jealous."
"Thank you. What changed your mind?"
"Time," he said. "I thought a lot about what went wrong after we broke up. Also… Yeah, it probably helped that Alex came to talk to me about it. He told me how badly I hurt your feelings."
Letting out a groan, you put a hand on the back of your neck. "I'll have to talk to him about boundaries," you said quietly.
"He was just worried about you."
A few months ago he wouldn't have thought of protecting Alex, but here he was, trying to do it. He was important to you and Simon didn't want to stand between the two of you. He had to get over his stupid jealousy.
"You know, I was wondering if we could start again," he spoke up again. "I miss you. I never thought I would ever say something like this, but I can't sleep without you next to me. I can't eat, I can't breathe, I can't focus. I can't live like that."
"I know the feeling," you noted quietly. "You left me, Simon. You said things that really hurt me. I spent days blaming myself, that maybe you're right, that maybe I let him too close."
Shaking his head, he quickly stepped closer to put a hand on the side of your neck, caressing your jawline with his gloved thumb. "You need a friend you can talk to about the things you do on the field, I didn't get that back then, but I get it now," he explained with a smile you couldn't see now.
Smiling yourself, you reached out and took off his mask. "You're lucky you're cute," you told him.
"You think I'm cute?" You nodded. "Marry me," he blurted out.
"What?"
Yeah, what? But as he thought about it, it wasn't a joke or anything. "I'm serious," he told you. "Let's get married."
Shaking your head, you stood on your toes to kiss him gently. "We barely agreed to give our relationship another shot, I think it's too soon," you said with your hands on his chest.
"Come on, in our line of work we shouldn't wait with things like this. Let's celebrate that we found someone who can understand why we do what we do, someone who wouldn't judge the other for the things they do on the field," he tried.
"How long have you been thinking about this?" you asked with your head tilted to the side.
"For a couple of hours, I guess." You laughed and put his mask back on. "Hey, I know it's not that long, but I'm serious. Think about it. Please." Before you could say anything, you both turned to the door when you heard footsteps. "Not a word!" Simon warned him.
Soap opened his mouth, but in the end decided to put up his hands and go back to the others without saying anything.
7K notes · View notes
diorcities · 8 months
Text
⠀   ⠀ ── 𖥻 ๋ 𓈒 ⭐ ࣪ ࣭ ◍ ᜔ being a sleepy head !
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
nct dream fluff headcanon.
jaemin. at midnight, the sheets tangle on your limbs as his fingers run down your spine in a deliberate gesture. your tongue tangles in your palate and feels heavy as you talk about trivial things while he listens patiently. smiling sweetly when you can't follow the thread of your thoughts at the speed you desire, and your eyes look one last glimpse into his loving eyes before plunging you into a deep sleep. your body is covered by a blanket and you barely hear his voice saying “let's meet again in your dreams.” warming the place where your heart rests.
haechan. he is a night person. even with his schedules, he usually has more sleep resistance than you. you've both put on a series that you've been wanting to watch together, and since I this moments don't happen very often, you plan to spend the whole day curled up next to him. his body is so warm, and his grip comforting, that you soon decide to leave him to go to the ethereal world of dreams. and among the semi-unconsciousness, you think you feel his laugh poking you, “unbelievable, why you choose that boring movie if you were going to fall asleep?” just feeling your body being gently drawn to his “i'll tell you how the movie ends in the morning.”
jisung. the different time zones had your internal clock pretty damaged and crazy, to the point where you slept all afternoon and were more than awake at night. therefore, your night endurance is greater than jisung's. even on his day off, the poor boy does nothing but sleep. silence settles in the room when you know he's not listening to you anymore, hearing to the slight snoring of the boy with the cold nose on your neck, feeling him stir between dreams, “oh- fuck,” he murmurs, nuzzling his face, “did i fall asleep?” he asks. “pretty much, yeah.” you hear his muffled laugh, but deep down it makes you happy that he rests properly, especially when you know his workday. his only response is get closer to you. “keep talking, i swear i won't fall asleep this time.” quick spoiler: he did.
mark. it is a habit to put on a film and not pay attention to it while talking and using it as background noise. both of you have fairly tight schedules, and believe it is possible to do everything at the same time, such as ordering food delivery and chatting while watching a movie. but honestly, you are so exhausted, that the film takes a back seat while you both have your intimate moment full of kisses and caresses. it's impossible not to fall asleep for both of you. and even in the limbo of dreams, you're there with him, and he's talking to you while he sleeps, “i love you.”
renjun. he does not usually rest for long, and many times (only when you are aware that he is not by your side sleeping) you see him at his desk writing new entries in his diary, or painting with his watercolors. you are aware, too, that he does that when he is very overwhelmed or overloaded with things. and even when he goes back to bed the moment you notice his absence and wake up, or call his name, you worry that he's keeping him hidden from you; the way he uses art to release all the weight that keep him awake. “you scared me,” he pronounces shyly when you approach him and rest your head on his shoulder, “i woke you up? forgive me...” he stops his word when you shake your head, “should we go to bed, then?” he wonders, but again, you deny. “finish this first, love.” you smile tenderly, snuggling into him as he returns to his drawing: somewhat kind of similar to you.
chenle. having a tight schedule makes it difficult to see chenle often. you never seem to coincide because you leave first thing in the morning and when you arrive exhausted to sleep, chenle returns until late at night. he scolds you on occasion when you insist on staying up even when you both know that means you'll feel sleepy at work. in the end, he lets you do what you want, because deep down, he misses your long chats before going to bed. “so... one of my... coworkers said...” your eyelids close on their own, you swear by your life. and your tongue feels so heavy, but you must keep going, because seriously, seriously it's funny, “have you- seen my... sandwich?... and i said..., it's in...” chenle waits for the punchline while he strokes your hair, but it never comes, so with a amused smile dancing on his lips, he turns off the lamp. “your mouth?” he wonders at the ceiling, widening his eyes, “the toilets?”
jeno. the letters change places when you look at them for a long time. you blink, your eyelids heavy linger towards the empty coffee cup next to your notes; your attempt to do an all-nighter has been unsuccessful as you feel the sleep spell take control of your body. “come, darling,” seems to whisper sandman in your ear. as you are in the limbo between the two universes, your body seems to float and be welcomed by his warm embrace, followed by the gentle movement that lullies you back when jeno takes you to his room.
986 notes · View notes
rafeandonlyrafe · 5 months
Text
just not home
Tumblr media
words: 1k
warnings: rafe gets kicked out of his house, mentions of hooking up/friends with benefits but not explicit
taglist: @drewstarkeysbae @thelomlisrafecameron @f4ll-for-you @dilvcv @winterrrnight @slut4drudy @drewsbabygirll @jjmaybankswifes-blog @rafescokenostril @jjsmarijuana @jjmaybankisbae @seeingstarks @angelofcigs @cece45450
you groan and mentally curse whoever it is that is causing your phone to ring, waking you up from a pleasant dream. 
you grab it off the nightstand, briefly glancing at the contact name before answering, keeping your eyes partly closed as the screen causes you to squint, not adjusted to the light yet.
“rafe, it's late.” you say, not greeting him. “if you're calling to fuck, the answer is no. im too tired.”
rafe has a habit of hitting you up whenever he needs to release some tension. you were sort of friends, at least at first, but it all changed when you slept together once when drunk at a party, then repeatedly ended up in each other's beds until it became a regular thing.
“it's not that um… can i come over though?” rafes voice is softer than you're used to, and it causes you to shake off a bit more of the fog that the sleep has over your mind.
“what's wrong?” you question.
“nothing.” rafe says. you don't respond, waiting to see if he will volunteer more information, but it doesn't come.
“where are you?” you try instead.
“walking over to your house.” rafe says, and your ears then pick up the background noises, the cicadas and frogs in the distance. 
“why are you walking?” 
“my dad took the keys to my truck.” rafe explains. you sigh and switch the phone to speaker as you get out of bed, shivering when you throw back the covers and are exposed to the air. “he kicked me out.”
“ward did what?” you question, putting on a pair of crocs and heading out your bedroom door to find your purse and car keys.
“fuck.” rafe groans. “im sorry, y/n. i shouldn't have called, just go back to sleep.”
“hey, stop that.” you say, heading out the door once you have everything you need to drive. “im coming to pick you up right now, where are you?”
rafe responds with his location. you remain on the line as you drive, but stay quiet to focus on the road. even though there's no cars, you're not fully awake yet and need all of your brain power to focus on getting to rafe safely.
your heart breaks a little when you spot him, head hung low as he walks down the sidewalk. you pull your car to the side of the road, getting out and immediately pulling rafe into your arms, holding him close until he hugs you back.
“i didn't have anywhere else to go.” rafe whispers into your hair.
“it's okay.” you say, rubbing your hand over his back. “im glad you called.”
you pull away from the hug, seeing the look in rafes eye. above everything else, he looks tired, completely exhausted. you have never shared an kiss that didn't lead to or happen during sex, but you can't resist pressing your mouth against his pouty lips. rafe kisses back gently, and you can feel a bit of the tension leave his body as he does.
“come on, it's cold out here.” you tug at rafes hand, watching him sit down in your passenger seat as you round the car to drive you home.
you reach across the center console, linking your hands together. “do you wanna talk about what happened?” you ask.
rafe is quiet for a moment before he squeezes your hand, keeping his eyes on the road out the front windscreen instead of looking at you. “can we talk in the morning? im just so tired right now.”
“yeah.” you nod. “thats fine, rafey.”
you fall into comfortable silence on the way back home, keeping your hand in rafes, your fingers intertwined. it dawns on you that this is probably the most intimate moment you've had with rafe, despite having sex with him multiple times, it's this moment of innocently holding hands, no build up to anything more, just rafe needing you, and you giving him a physical connection.
you pull right up to your door, not bothering to care about your shitty parking job as one of your tires sits off your driveway and in the grass. you just want to get back in bed.
“ill leave first thing in the morning, i just needed a place to sleep.” rafe says as you head inside, making you turn to look at him.
“rafe, don't be ridiculous.” you sigh, feeling sad that he ever thought you would kick him out. “you can stay as long as you need.”
“thank you, baby.” rafe says, following you up the stairs. he pauses at the top, looking at the multiple bedroom doors.
“i can sleep in one of the guest bedrooms if you want.” he offers, and you scoff.
“we've shared a bed before.”
“after we've had sex, yeah.” rafe shrugs. “i just don't want you to be uncomfortable.”
“i think you owe me some cuddles after waking me up in the middle of the night.” you say, and rafe nods with a small grin, glad that you agreed, not wanting to be alone tonight.
you head towards your bedroom, shutting the door behind you after rafe enters. you climb into bed, your legs giving out the second you're back on your mattress.
“i don't have… any pajamas.” rafe sighs, looking down at his jeans and polo shirt.
“just wear your underwear. i don't care, just get over here.” you pat the open spot on your bed, managing to keep your eyes open and on rafe as he strips down to his boxers before getting into bed with you.
you cement yourself to his side, sighing softly when he wraps an arm around you, letting you rest on his chest.
“thank you.” he whispers.
“of course, rafe.” you press your lips against his bare skin, the best kiss that he's going to get out of you as you struggle to keep your eyes open. you fall back into a deep slumber as rafe gently strokes over your back, feeling comfortable and safe with your legs tangled together with his.
1K notes · View notes
ghouljams · 4 months
Note
Price comes off as the type of husband who no matter if it's kid number 1 or kid number 4 he's always overprepared. He'll phone in shit for himself, but his family? Hell no 110% for them always. He's spending the weeks leading up to child birth getting your post op care kit put together, even making 4 or 6 weeks worth of padsicles (frozen aloë vera soaked pads). Like you swear he's nesting worse then you are.
You're not worried because you have John he's already written down what you want for your birth and you can bet your ass he's advocating for you especially when a nurse gets a bit too pushy about things he knew you didn't want. He might've even hired a Doula who could talk through the things he doesn't understand.
If you had to have a c section he was already prepared for that making sure the fridge is packed with ice packs and calling for extra hands to help (with the house and extra chores, like farm work. he'll take care of the wife and babe) he'll be by your side for the months it takes to recover. This man will make sure that the postpartum care he gives you is just as good as the prenatal care. He is up with the babe at night even if you're breastfeeding getting you back to sleep quickly while he just gently rocks baby Price to sleep make sure they're happy before he'll crawl back into bed with you.
-Hot Mess Rambler
(He just comes off as a guy who wants to make sure bad labor/recovery isn't the reason you don't have more kids especially if you wanted a big family)
God, you're so right. Price is a family man, and I firmly believe that. There's a universe where Price leaves the service after Goose is born, and she ends up with 4 extra siblings.
There's a lovely little pocket universe where Price is only home long enough to be there for the birth of his baby girl before he's deployed and he can't handle it. He can't handle not being there for you, wondering if you're handling the post-partum well, if the baby is alright, if you have the support you need. It kills him not being able to call you, not being able to see you. He misses so much, and it makes the military feel hollow. He thought this was what he wanted, the job he wanted, but not if it means missing the chance to be a father.
When he gets home his baby is so much bigger, she's eating baby food, she's smiling and grabbing for things. And you tell him it's alright, that he didn't miss the important things, didn't miss any of the firsts, but you have bags under your eyes. You're quieter, the house is messy, there's take away in the fridge. It's not how it should be, you're not taken care of like you should be. So he doesn't renew his contract. He leaves and he doesn't look back. You're in medical school, you're stressed enough. He stays home with the baby, and looks after things while you get back on your feet.
It's not the life he thought he'd have, but it's better in all the right ways. He's there for his baby's first steps, for her first word. He's there when you hold up a second positive pregnancy test and tearfully tell him you don't know if you can do it again. He reads every book, he talks to every expert, he prepares for everything, but he can never handle your tears or his own short comings. He can only promise that this time will be different, and that he truly isn't going anywhere ever again.
So you decide to have another baby, and Price makes up for everything he missed. He nests more than you do, he keeps Goose entertained, he takes over your prenatal care, he preps for the postnatal stuff. You have your baby with the utmost certainty that nothing will go wrong, and that even if something does at least Price will be there to fix it. You graduate medical school with a husband and two babies in the audience. Your little flat feels smaller with four people in it. Price suggests looking for residencies near your parents for the extra help, and you can't think of any reason not to.
So you move back to Texas. You wrangle a toddler and a baby onto a plane, you ship all your meager belongings, and you find yourself back on the farm with a lucrative position at the nearest hospital. And Price finds himself, once again, in a life he never imagined for himself. He discovers his toddler has an affinity for horses, he finds out his baby tries to eat worms, he realizes he wants a million more of these little things when their laughter fills the big old farmhouse. He realizes there's something special to coming in from a long day on the farm and seeing you passed out on the couch with two little girls cuddled against your chest.
He never misses the military. At least never more than he missed you in those months away. He goes to dance recitals, and 4H shows. He teaches a gaggle of kids how to shoot, how to ride a horse, how to rope cattle. He's never misses anything, he's never not there. He picks up five little Prices from soccer practice and realizes he's never been happier than he is sitting outside the hospital with your pack, waiting for the end of your shift.
331 notes · View notes
creedslove · 11 months
Text
BABY BLISS 🍼
Tumblr media
Post outbreak!Joel Miller x f!reader
Summary: Tommy's daughter was born a couple of months ago but Joel can't bring himself to be around the baby as painful memories of his late daughter continue to haunt him and you try your best to support him
(This can be read as a continuation of SLEEP BLISS 💤, SHOWER BLISS 🫧 and MOONLIGHT BLISS 🌙 or as a stand alone, it's up to you)
Warnings: established relationship, age gap, fluff, angst, hurt, anxiety attack, talks of pregnancy, as usual, out of character Joel as always lol
A/N: I LOVE JOEL MILLER 🥺😔
2k words
Tumblr media
You thought Joel was indestructible. He was fearless, courageous, when needed, he was violent, brutal, mercilessly. You'd seen him take down men and creatures without flinching.
Nothing seemed to faze him, and you were sure he feared nothing in his life.
So watching Joel Miller being scared of a baby was actually pretty funny. At first.
Ever since Maria's and Tommy's baby was born, you'd been to their place a lot of times. You just loved helping them out with the baby, it wasn't the smartest idea to have one during the apocalypse, but then, they were married, in love, safe in a community and who were you to judge after all? Babies represented a new life, a wind of change, so when you saw that beautiful little thing for the first time, your heart melted.
She was an adorable baby, so quiet and small and you loved holding her whenever Maria would let you to.
Her sweet precious Flora smelled really good, you had heard of people talking about how babies smelled good but you didn't think it was true until you held her. You just couldn't get enough of your niece.
Niece.
That made you giggle.
You and Joel finally made things official after he took you on a date. You had been in love with each other for long, but you were both too scared to admit it.
Looking back at things now, you realized how silly it was because of how obvious your feelings for each other were, and you could swear you were the happiest woman in Jackson, as you could be with the man you loved.
But when you saw how happy Maria was with her baby, you realized maybe you were the second happiest woman in town.
The only thing that felt off was Joel's reaction. He never seemed very enthusiastic about the news his brother was going to be a dad, and when Maria finally delivered the baby, he was just in a weird mood. He kept to him, didn't say much, congratulated his brother and took him out for a drink, but he declined when Tommy offered him to hold Flora.
And since then, he kept his distance from the baby. He glanced at her from afar and that was it.
At first you didn't give it much thought, but you began finding it weird, especially after the uncomfortable silence that lingered in the room whenever Joel didn't actually acknowledge his niece.
Tommy didn't pressure him into holding Flora or anything like that, he had an idea why his brother was distant, so he'd rather not go there and make him uncomfortable.
You'd spent the whole after at Maria's while the men were out in town working and doing other tasks. Very often Tommy and Joel went back to some construction jobs, just as before everything went to shit.
He knew you'd stay at his brother's so he'd told you he'd stop by later and you two could walk home together.
Joel was hoping that you'd be good to go once he got there with Tommy, but of course you had to be inside, he sighed and looked around, trying to come up with an excuse so he wouldn't get in, but his brother was already holding the door open for him with a dumb smile and he could hear your voice inside.
The house was silent, the only thing they could hear was your voice, but you weren't speaking, you were humming.
Maria was in a comfortable slumber, she lay on the couch and ended up falling asleep once she saw her baby girl was safe in your arms. She'd spent most nights awake and it was a relief to have you around helping her. She didn't even know how to thank you, but to you, it was such a bliss to take care of Flora.
Joel stepped inside, he swallowed hard the moment he saw you holding the baby. You hummed a lullaby but she wouldn't close her little eyes. Flora was smart and curious, always looking around and cooing at people. He knew you'd already told him he should be a little warmer to her, of course she was a small baby and didn't understand things, but you reminded him maybe Tommy and Maria could be offended if he didn't show any interest in their daughter, after all, she'd been born a couple of months ago and Joel had barely looked at her.
But he didn't want to look at her, because if he did, he would recognize the features he used to love so much and he lost. He didn't want to hold her, because he knew her smell would remind him of the smell of the one he lost for good.
He couldn't do that to himself, he didn't want to live through that pain again, now he was happy and though he would never forget what happened, some days it hurt a little less, because he had you in his life and you made it all easier. But when he saw you holding Flora, he didn't feel strong enough. The way she cooed in your arms and blinked curiously and the way you pecked her forehead so gently, it gutted him.
"Hey princess, that's uncle Joel" you cooed at her and saw her fussing a little before giving him a gummy smile.
You chuckled and got closer "do you wanna hold her?" You offered gently. He saw your eyes sparkling and he wondered if you ever wanted to be a mom, you were a natural with kids, they always seemed to love you and sometimes he closed his eyes and wondered what things would be like if you ended up pregnant, but he dismissed this thought as soon as it appeared.
He could see how happy you were to be holding Flora, and how comfortable you were with a small baby in your arms.
He hadn't told you why he didn't want anything to do with the baby, he knew he was kind of a jerk, but since his brother never brought it up, then he didn't feel the need to explain it.
But when you looked at him that way, it melted his heart, he couldn't bring himself to say no to you. He heard a small coo and looked down onto your eyes, taking a deep breath and extending his.
You didn't think Joel would be willing to pick Flora up, and if he weren't you wouldn't insist it at all, but there he was, surprising you after all. Little Flora settled comfortably in her uncle's arms, her small nose nuzzled his chest as she began closing her eyes feeling sleepy. She looked curiously at him, but he was so warm she couldn't fight sleep for much longer.
Joel was in awe at his niece. She didn't even know him, and yet she trusted him enough to fall asleep, silly little princess, he thought to himself and smiled. She was so soft and small and the warmth in his arms brought him back so many memories he thought they were buried deep.
He didn't know why he was blushing, but he still avoided looking at you or Tommy, wanting to focus only on the beautiful little girl he had in his arms. He scanned her features and smiled at her, closing his eyes as he inhaled her characteristic baby scent.
His heart skipped a beat and his smile died as a lump formed in his throat. He was enjoying the moment, he really was but then everything came back, all at once and the moment he opened his eyes again he didn't see Flora anymore, all he saw was Sarah.
His sweet baby Sarah, it'd been so long and yet there she was in his arms. He felt a pang in his chest, thinking he'd gone crazy. The first time he held her in his arms, her first word which was also the first time she called him dada, the first time she scraped her knee and called for him, the movie nights they had together and finally how he held her limp body against his, the smell of her fresh blood invading his nostrils and how cold she got in his arms.
Joel let out a sob and opened his eyes again, Flora was still asleep but Tommy quickly picked her up from him "I got this" he said in a concerned way as Joel walked out the backdoor.
The lump in his throat was making it impossible for Joel to breath, he placed his hand in his chest, trying to reach for air but his heart hammered faster and faster in his chest. He looked around hoping he could find something to focus and calm down, but it seemed impossible. Tears ran down his cheek as he fought for control but felt he got to a dead end.
You ran to Joel as fast as you could, he was anxious and tense and you didn't know exactly how to help him, your eyes glistened with tears as you saw his own.
Your arms wrapped around his body.
"I'm here Joel, I'm here" you whispered to him and felt him fall onto his knees, you followed him and felt him burying his face into the crook of your neck. You pressed it, caressing his hair so gently, reminding him you were there for him.
"Breath honey, breath" you said as calmly as you could. Joel's grip was tight around your waist and you lost track of how long you stayed there.
•••
The walk home was silent, Joel didn't say anything and you didn't ask. He was embarrassed after what happened, to him it was a sign of weakness and he was sure that changed how you viewed him. He would rather be alone than be with you if you pitied him.
You, on the other hand, didn't want to leave his side at all, you didn't feel sorry for him, you felt love. You felt a burning ache, longing for him. You had seen the most human portrait of Joel someone could ever witness.
He wasn't a murderer, he wasn't cold blooded, he was a wounded man. A man who lost all but somehow made his way back to being happy with you.
Once at home, Joel went to his room and stayed there, complete silence filled the house and though you wanted to give him all the time he needed, at the same time you felt a need to be next to him.
You knocked on his door, and opened it, Joel was sitting on the bed, watching old pictures of Sarah.
You smiled sadly as he hid them quickly. They were his and he never let anyone see them, not even you. And you respected that.
You sat next to him and ran your fingers through his hair, feeling his arm pulling you by the waist as he let his heavy body lay comfortably in bed and pull you closer to him.
"We don't have to talk about what happened if you don't want to… but I want you to know I'm proud of you, proud of how strong you are, Joel" you told him and kissed his lips gently.
You wanted to tell him so many things, you wanted to tell him that you were proud he managed to hold his niece, you wanted to tell him you were sure she was as beautiful as Sarah was and you wanted to tell him if the world wasn't going to shit you would be more than glad in carry his baby, or you would never get pregnant at all, you wanted to tell him you would do anything he wanted you to, because you loved him.
So those were the only words you let it out.
"I love you, Joel"
He looked at you completely silent and pulled you even closer, kissing your forehead and closing his eyes, he wasn't there yet, he wasn't ready to tell you those three words, it could've been superstition, as he lost everyone he's ever loved, so you didn't mind, you respected his silence, because you loved enough for the two of you.
_____
A/N: I love Joel so much
Tumblr media
933 notes · View notes
cipheress-to-k-pop · 22 days
Note
Hello, Happy Holy Ramadan. I know your request box is closed, but when your request box is opened, can you make this request? if it doesn't bother you, could you do Long Ramadan headcanons for Damian Wayne and the reader? I saw your Damian wayne x muslim reader post before. And I thought it was appropriate to ask you this. If this request bothers you, feel free to ignore it. Have a nice day 🩷🩷🩷🤚
Ramadan HCs
Muslim!Damian Wayne x Muslim!Reader
Tumblr media
hey there sweetheart and Ramadan Mubarak <3! firstly i'm so sorry that it took me so long to respond to the ask! im ashamed it took me a year honestly. requests are closed but i still wanted to be able to write for this because we obviously need more muslim representation and also the last time i posted the muslim hc for damian there were just so many of the readers who texted me or sent asks or commented saying that they really appreciated the representation
anyways i wasn't sure if i was going to respond or not because it has been a year but since it is currently Ramadan and it's going to end very soon I figured why not
Thank you for being so respectful in your ask, I really appreciate it and I hope you like it. Hope you have a very blessed Ramadan and wishing everyone a lot of health and happiness during this time. Even to my non-muslim readers, I hope you all are doing well and you're all healthy <3333
also i know that there is a very slim chance of this happening because all of you are amazing but i will not tolerate any hate of any kind. if you
your first Ramadan after being married to Damian was certainly a new experience
before being married, you were just used to your parents handling everything for you
by the time you wake up for suhoor, the table would be set
by the time you'd be home from university, your mother would be waiting by the door with a date and a glass of water
so now that you were married and you had to handle everything on your own, it took a little bit of getting used to
luckily for you, Damian is a very hands on type of man
he's the kind of person who'd just drink a cup of water or a glass of milk, maybe a couple of dates or a fruit and he'd be ok for the remainder of the day
but god forbid you even think of doing the same thing
he'd just about have a heart attack
absolutely not
initially, he'd request Alfred to make meals for you so he could bring them home for the both of you to have suhoor together
just until the both of you got the hang of it
after that damian would either help you cook before patrol so there would be food ready for the both of you
or he'd swing by some restaurant that was open and grab some takeout for the both of you
he'd heat up the food and set the table and making sure everything was absolutely ready before finally waking you up
practically carrying your sleepyass to the table and handfeeding you so he can make sure you're eating properly
since he handles suhoor, you handle iftar and keep the table set so you can eat together
you could always just stay at the manor so you wouldn't have to worry about the meals, like bruce or dick have suggested so many times
but you prefer living alone with your husband
no offense to them at all
but it's just easier for you to maintain your modesty at your own home
anyways
your marriage gets really tested during Ramadan
the two of you are barely getting any sleep and it's difficult for you both to get used to
the only time that you both spend together and are completely present is when he should be patrolling
the lack of sleep makes you both kind of cranky
and it's difficult to not snap at each other
eventually you both get pretty tired and exhausted and just slip into routine
but of course it's nothing some sleep and some time spent together can't solve
and since you've been trying to reduce watching movies and listening to music during the holy month, you end up playing board games together or going for long drives together where you just talk and talk and talk
you thought you were extremely secure in your marriage
that was until you saw damian pout and give you the silent treatment after losing a game of gin rummy
then claiming you shouldn't be playing a game called 'jinn' in the first place
not swearing or talking shit during ramadan was especially hard for him
especially with tim and steph yelling 'fi ramadan?' at him everytime he makes even the slightest snide comment
you find it hilarious but i digress
whenever you go to the masjid for nightly prayers, damian and you will go and find a new ice cream place to try out late at night
you mention in passing how the women's side of the mosque is so bland compared to the men's and damian immediately looks into getting the mosque refurbished so that you and other women can enjoy it
damian's shoes get stolen once and the great detective actually couldn't find out who it was
you hear him complain about it constantly
CONSTANTLY
this time is when you both really lean into the adorable muslim couple aesthetic
matching prayer mats with each of your names embroidered on it
matching tasbih
and other things you get the picture
you both go all out for ramadan and decorate your home from top to bottom
since you both don't really celebrate many of the western holidays, he really wants to make this a memorable time for the both of you
and so do you
you hold an iftar party at your place many times with all your friends and family
it started out with you just inviting everyone but eventually it became a weekly potluck, which you really appreciated
bro damian is more excited about Eid than you are
he literally has to keep reminding you to get your dress ready for Eid al fitr
because he wants to get a jubbah in a matching color and surprise you
you know how you have those cute texts of girlies asking their bfs for their opinions on their nails?
the exact same thing
except with HENNA
you send him like 100 different pictures a week, planning which design you want to wear for Eid
he responds to all of them with utmost seriousness
obviously, he's an artist
he knows whats the difference between arabic and indian designs for henna
but secretly he's wondering why you're sending him so many when you only have 2 hands
but um hello he's never going to tell you that
because it's ramadan and obv ramadan related stuff is going to be appearing on everyones fyp he has to deal with both you and dick sending him videos of the scholars being funny (iykyk)
hey guys let's start ramadan w a bang
also has to deal with jason asking him CONSTANTLY how he's still able to walk around when all the demons are supposed to be locked up for the month
plus he has to now deal with you watching mukbangs and restaurant reviews and crying to him about how you're starving
why on earth did silent asmr mukbangs of wingstop get so popular only during ramadan?
believe me every single prayer damian makes during this month, he is thanking god for bringing you to him and praying for your health and your happiness
when you found out, you cried in his arms for a good solid 5 minutes
he also secretly kind of prayed for kids on laylat ul qadr but you didn't hear it from me
not only is this month really special for the both of you, you take it as an opportunity to give back
damian has wayne enterprises run soup kitchens for the entire month and they serve all people meals as well as suhoor and iftar
you both volunteer there personally
you donate money of course and damian will tell you that everytime he does it, he feels fulfilled in a way he never has before
you honestly feel so proud of the man you feel blessed to call your husband
also, like the perfect husband he is, he sends gifts and food to your parents
who quickly begin to regard him as better than your own siblings
much to his secret pleasure
uk i wish i could keep going
honestly ramadan is such a magical and rewarding time of the year
and you are so happy to spend it along with damian
P.S.
while damian completely understood the point of sacrificing a goat for Eid al adha
he still cried about it to you the night before out of guilt
you definitely donated the meat that came out of that
Forever Taglist:
@simonsbluee
@notslaybabes
@superheroesaremyjam113263
@writers-whirlwind
DC Taglist:
@emmacata
@p--e--a--c--h--e--s
@sometimeseverythingsucks
@sokkas-honour
@unstable1902
@lostgirlheart
@missdisapear
@tadpole-san
@isawachickeninatree
@uxavity
@battlenix
@capricorn-stark
@evermoore580
@dumbbitchgalore
@fuckingjinkies
@some-lovely-day
333 notes · View notes
elliewill · 1 year
Text
A FOOL'S GAME
Tumblr media
summary - an angsty drabble of fem reader leaving an emotionally troubled ellie warnings - angsty arguing, strong language, mentions of infidelity, sad feelings word count - 1.4k credits: divider credit, gif credit a/n: written with "a pearl" by mitski in mind. def listen on replay while reading!
Tumblr media
"If you told me that this would be the way we'd end up..." you started. But your breath caught itself on the painful lump in your throat. You began to laugh in disbelief, mostly to shake off the urge to cry. "I would have never believed you."
She couldn't help but avert her gaze. So much so, that you secretly wondered if she felt she'd turn to stone if she met your eyes. Maybe in some way, she would. She was embarrassed. Cheeks pink, ears red, jaw clenched with tension. She leaned against her desk, arms crossed, frozen almost. Eyes glued to the floor.
"And here we are. You don't want to touch me... You can't even fucking look at me."
Despite your words, Ellie remained unmoved. You began to wonder if her silence meant that she actually felt guilty, or whether it was just indignation. You knew she had a bad habit of never admitting when she was wrong.
"I never meant to hurt you," Ellie broke the silence, embarrassment in her voice, with her eyes now stuck on her busted sneakers. "I wasn't thinking and I wish I-"
"You don't get to say that," you cut her off, nearly scolding her. Her green eyes finally flew up to meet yours, and your heart sank to your stomach. "You don't get to tell me you didn't mean to hurt me and go do what you did." "They were stupid, shitty mistakes, and I know that, and I'm sorry." Ellie rambled with pleading eyes, almost scrambling to find all the right words to make this go away. She pushed herself off the desk she was leaning on and walked toward you, a gentle hand out to hold your arm. "I don't want... I can't lose you."
A wave of dread washed over you. All you've wanted is for her to love you the way you've loved her. To want you the way you've wanted her. She used to tell you how terrified she was of losing you. But with Ellie looking at you the way she was, you couldn't help but wonder if she was only saying this now just to save her ass. You reluctantly swallowed the thought and let her have her word.
"There's a lot I don't talk about anymore and I'm sorry. Okay? I'm sorry things have been getting worse, and it's not that I don't want you, I just..."
"And you just what?" you scoffed, belittling Ellie's explanation. The disdain in your voice made Ellie furrow her eyebrows, hurt flashing on her features for a fleeting moment. You were almost sorry for saying anything. "All those nights staying up and laughing. You were able to sleep through the night and eat a full meal again. We used to talk about everything and nothing... what the fuck happened to us?"
Silence.
Ellie looked away and out the window at the gentle flurries of snow. She sighed deeply, chewing the inside of cheek with her eyebrows furrowed. She felt it. You were getting tired of her. All the shit she's put you through, and you had finally reached your breaking point. She knew you deserved better, but Ellie was a selfish girl in love. She would never able to tell you to leave - and mean it.
"I don't even feel real anymore."
You had always been almost convinced that if you loved her enough, the pink would return to her cheeks. That maybe, the butterflies she'd feel when her name fell from your lips would quiet the maggots eating her up inside. But even in between stolen kisses and nights spent together, she’d never spare the breath to tell you about the trouble you always knew was brewing beneath the surface. She assumed if she remained in blissful ignorance of her own feelings, it would eventually go away. No tears to be had and regretted.
But she made her own mistakes anyway. You almost didn't feel bad for her anymore.
"So you go out and do this? Instead of talking to me?" you shot back, wishing her the same sadness that sat in your chest and pooled in your eyes. You moved away from the gently placed hand on your arm, spurning any of her affection toward you. "Did it feel real when you fucked her? Was it that good? Just had to keep going back for more? Maybe I'll go fuck someone else, too. How 'bout an ex to make it even?"
Seeing your eyes become glossy and talk about sleeping with an ex stirred self-disgust in Ellie's gut. She felt backed into a corner, forced to see her own reflection. God, she felt pathetic for having put you through it all. But like clockwork, the accountability only went so far before she scornfully projected. Her eyes darkened, and she took a step back to sneer at you.
"You know what? Maybe you should. Cause this shit right here?" she fired back, gesturing to the both of you. "Maybe this was the biggest mistake I've ever fucking made."
The last words that left her mouth struck you breathless. That nasty lump rising higher in your throat stoked the nausea you felt at her words. You could tell that your silence made Ellie itch. The inner corners of your eyebrows were raised and a dejected smile spread across your lips.
"THIS? This was your biggest mistake?" you laughed through your tears incredulously. "I never know what's going on in your head, El. You'd tell me you love me and you don't want to lose me. Kiss me one day and refuse to touch me the next. Find you fucking someone else, and that this hadn't been the first time...and here I am, making more fuckin' excuses for you."
"Then stop making them!" Ellie threw her hands up and then let them down, slapping her thighs in exasperation."Jesus Christ, I said I was sorry! What the fuck else do you want me to say? I fucked up, I know!"
"You don't get it," you whispered bitterly while you shook your head gently, the tears running hot across your cheeks. "I fucking loved you, Ellie. I would've done anything for you... Who was there when Tommy couldn't even bring himself to look at you? When Dina promised you'd never see JJ again? The nights you couldn't sleep, you couldn't eat?"
"I didn't need your fucking help!" Ellie raised her voice over yours, the guilt eating away at her more quickly. "I never asked you to be there, I would've always been fine on my own. I never fucking needed you."
"...Got it." You nodded sarcastically, wiping the tears from your eyes and cheeks, snatching your backpack off of Ellie's couch. "All the hurt I put myself through to make sure you were okay? I guess that's my fault, huh?"
Ellie's heart quickened watching you grab your belongings to leave. But she stood there frozen and powerless, wanting to make it better but also wanting it all to be over. How did she manage to fuck this up so badly? She knew in the next minute or so, she'd have to watch you walk out of that door and never come back.
"You're so terrified of losing me, right?" You said whilst rummaging through a pocket of your backpack and pulling out a small black journal. It was a journal she'd given you full of just little sketches and doodles - some of you, some of you both together, some of silly things.
"Y/N. Don't. Please, let me just-"
You chucked the book at Ellie, who couldn't meet your eyes again but drew closer to you in an attempt to keep you from leaving. The book struck the side of her chest but like a brick wall, she remained there, shamefully gnawing the inside of her mouth, a strand of her auburn hair falling into her face. If you had stared at her long enough, you'd notice the tears she'd been trying to blink away.
"Fuck you, Ellie. You did this shit to yourself."
Her front door slammed behind you as you stormed out and stepped off her porch. The feeling of the frozen wind stinging your cheeks and rustling your hair was almost pleasant. Well, what now?
You said what you had to say. But the pit in your stomach only grew heavier, and you felt sick. Somehow you knew.
You knew that no matter how many times you leave, how many times she hurt you, you would always love her, like a fucking fool.
Maybe it was never truly better to have loved and lost. Maybe you would've been better off if you had never loved at all.
1K notes · View notes
byeuijoo · 3 months
Text
argument 𐀔 boynextdoor
genre : angst ⋆ warnings : angst, crying in jaehyun's, yelling ⋆ word count : 1,1k
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ୨ ✩ ୧
⭒ park sungho
during : when he argues with you, sungho often acts surprised and indignant at your words. why are you blaming him for things when he's always trying to do the best for both of you? he hates to hear you raise your voice, so he tries to play dumb thinking you'll get rid of some of your anger, in vain. then he ends up getting angry too, saying that you're talking nonsense and that he doesn't agree with you at all, so he ends up going out for a breath of fresh air because he doesn't want to get too carried away and risk saying things he might regret.
after : when he gets home, it's already pitch dark outside and bedtime is just around the corner. but sungho flatly refuses to go to bed with you pissed off, so he often comes and snuggles up to you on the sofa, while you watch tv to keep your mind occupied. and like two responsible adults, you calmly explain and apologize for each other's behavior. you for getting angry over almost nothing and raising your voice, and him for going out for a long time worrying you, and for not taking you seriously at first. in the end, falling asleep in front of the tv, snuggled up together.
⭒ lee riwoo
during : baby doesn't know how to react, what to say or what to do. so he often looks at you trying to understand the situation, and the fact that he acts as if he doesn't understand anything makes you even angrier. so he ends up hearing your words and defending himself by trying to combat your arguments with his own, except that he raises his voice, which makes you raise your voice too. all this often ends up with you in one corner of the sofa, and him in the other, turning his back on you without anyone saying another word until the night.
after : unlike sungho, when it's time to go to sleep but the problems still haven't been solved, you often go to bed angry at each other. in reality you're no longer angry, just sad, but your pride is preventing you both from taking the first step towards each other. so you go to bed first, followed by riwoo, who falls asleep away from you instead of clinging to your waist as usual. and when the morning comes, the argument seems to be over and you don't plan to talk about it again later. life returns to normal.
⭒ myung jaehyun
during : the arguments between you and jaehyun are often the same — either out of jealousy or because you miss each other. and the problem is that you don't know how to do it without shouting at each other, because you're both tired. so when you look into each other's eyes, ready to cry like children, all you do is scream and blame each other, arguing which of the two is more at fault. you often end up going your separate ways, you locking yourself in the bathroom, and he slamming the bedroom door, both crying silently.
after : after a very long time recovering from your emotions, neither of you dare approach the other. nonetheless, you're often the first to come out of hiding, busying yourself here and there doing the housework or cooking the meal. then, jaehyun finally comes out and silently starts helping you with the chores to apologize without using words. and you can't resist the warmth of his arms and his eyes sparkling with remorse. “i'm sorry..” he says to you in a small voice, almost too fragile to be used, and you give in because you don't want to stay angry with him for too long.
⭒ han taesan
during : he often spends most of his time listening to you get upset without saying anything, because he already starts to overthink the first second of your argument. he can be stressed over little things and easily feel guilty, especially when reproaches come from someone he hold in high esteem. so he listens to you, shakes his head and goes off to the bedroom to think about everything you've told him. he needs time alone to reflect and understand what he's done wrong, and what he can do to make up for it. but he won't get mad at you.
after : after a long hour of reflection, when you see that he doesn't come out of his room, you often end up going to see him to apologize. deep down you know that getting upset is pointless, and that's why you feel guilty. and barely a second after the door opens, taesan has already pulled you into his arms, apologizing and telling you he's going to try harder to be a better boyfriend. and you assure him that you won't get mad at him again just because you've had a bad day.
⭒ kim leehan
during : he often remains silent and only speaks up when he feels it's necessary, but won't hesitate to go against what you say if it's not true. he can hear all the reproaches you want to make, as long as they're justified and you don't exceed a certain limit. but he doesn't like conflict, so he'll do anything to avoid it, even if it means not talking to you for a while.
after : after you've isolated yourself for a while and he senses that your anger has subsided, he thinks he can finally explain things calmly to you. so he approaches the bedroom, knocks a few times on the door before entering and approaching you. most of the time, he waits for you to speak, but sometimes he starts to speak first, pointing out things he doesn't think are right, and explains his point of view, and you discuss it calmly together, finding solutions to problems together.
⭒ kim woonhak
during : arguments with woonhak are often explosive because you're both pretty loud. woonhak has trouble managing his emotions and tends to lose his temper quickly. so when you start arguing, he's often the first to raise his voice — and usually his words go beyond his thoughts, but he realizes it too late. he wants to be right at all costs, so he pushes you to the limit so that you give up.
after : after you've both calmed down, he's usually the first to apologize. mostly because he was the first to yell, and because he said hurtful things he should never have let slip out of his mouth. so he approaches you, wrapping his arms around your waist and hiding his head against your back because he's too ashamed to look at you, then he murmurs countless excuses until you break down and take him in your arms.
reblogs & feedbacks are highly appreciated !
taglist ౨ৎ @leehanist @wtfhyuck @florainnie @dazzlingligth @yuma-is-mine
309 notes · View notes
Text
To Warm You Up
Natasha Romanoff x GN!Reader
Summary: A snowy day means a good book, warm drinks, and cuddles
Word count: 704
Warnings: Tooth rotting fluff
A/N: I wrote this last night while my sleep meds kicked in. I used the prompt, 'bring you a hot drink'
Tumblr media Tumblr media
It was quiet. The snow fell outside, watching the flakes dance every so often as you looked up from your book. It had been snowing all morning, and so you felt it was the perfect day to stay curled up in bed. Finally, you got the chance to read through a book you'd recently purchased. Your Maine coon, Dumpling, curled up by your feet.
Tumblr media
You smiled content in how your day was going so far. The only thing missing was your girlfriend, Natasha Romanoff, she had gotten up early this morning and had occupied herself in her office with work since the snow kept her from going to the office. You hadn't heard from her all morning and now as early afternoon was about to turn to late afternoon you heard movement. You assumed Natasha had gotten up to grab herself something to eat. Making you remember you hadn't eaten yet. Your stomach growling at the realization. You didn't want to move though. You had become invested in your book and Dumpling had moved himself to your thighs, sprawling out across them.
Just as you finished up a chapter Natasha came through the threshold of your bedroom, tray in hand. Her red hair loose, falling over her shoulders in waves. A smile on her face when your eyes met as she got up on the bed with the tray. She'd made you a sandwich; turkey and cheese, a small pile of chips next to it and your favorite mug filled with hot chocolate. You could smell the peppermint and the two cinnamon sticks poking out gave away that she made it exactly how you like it.
“Oh moya lyubov. You didn't have to do this.” You set your book down on the side table before cupping her cheek. She leans into your touch. The two of you had been together for years. You knew everything about the other.
The Natasha you had met years ago who had defected from Russia who was so closely guarded. The Russian who was cold and calculated in every move she made. The Russian who when you first met was assigned to you and Clint. The Russian who put every wall up, used every sweet little lie with you and you who called her bluff everytime. She'd been put with you for one reason. You could tell when people lie. So really in the end she had no choice, but to tell the truth which terrified the red head.
“I wanted to. I hadn't heard you move since your trip to the bathroom this morning.” She raised an eyebrow at you, making you smile.
“Yeah I haven't. I got engrossed in my book. I'm already a little more than half way through!” Natasha could hear the excitement oozing from your voice. How could she not love you who only ever showed her love and kindness? You who would listen to her ramblings after nightmares. You who when she needed to be handcuffed to the bed to sleep offered your hand instead. You who offered a place when she had nothing and noone.
Some might think Natasha couldn't possibly settle down, but here she was with you as the snow fell outside. You picked up the mug, giving it a few blows before taking the first sip. The hot liquid falling down your throat and warming you instantly. You can't help the small ‘Mmmm’ that pushes up your throat, eyes closed. The mug warming your hands that you hadn't realized had gone cold as they tended to do, especially in the winter.
You talked with Natasha as you ate, catching up on her day and how work was going. She'd been writing reports and working on Intel the young Avengers had picked up on. You moved the empty tray aside, pulling Natasha against you. She always clung so tightly as if you'd disappear if she didn't hold you that way. She'd always been like this. You tried breaking the habit early on, but it never worked. Now it is something you look forward to, like a weighted blanket or stuffed animal. Natasha brought you comfort on such a level and in such a way you know no one else could compare.
171 notes · View notes
Text
Steve is the Mom Friend™, officially the most reliable member of the Party; it would be Dustin, but Dustin insists that they'd be lost without Steve there to help them. Steve doesn't argue, but he disagrees. He thinks he's too volatile to really be considered for Most Reliable.
For most of his childhood, he was isolated from his peers, who he was Not Allowed To Talk To Because They Aren't Worth A Harrington's Time, Stephen. Steve is young and still wants his parents to love him, so he obeys. He's a good boy, if a little sensitive, and therein lies the problem: he feels so much, and he doesn't have a clue on how to express any of it. He can't process his feelings, they're too big to fit in his body. It overwhelms him easily and makes his throat tight- impossible to speak. His father scolds him when he has these overwhelmed episodes, as if Steve is purposely ruining his off time at home by crying; his mother ignores him if he acts childishly. There isn't really anyone who teaches Steve how to cope with being a human.
Steve remembers that he was always angry. It felt like an itch under his skin, a low but steady humming in his veins that could explode at anything, and even back then, he despised that feeling, scared that it meant he would end up a Bad Person. He'd started getting into fights (the first one he could remember was when he was eight and Keith pushed him to get to the playground faster. Keith got a bloody nose and Steve got detention for a week) and never really stopped. By twelve, his entire school is afraid of him, except for a select few kids: Tommy H, whose dad worked with Steve's dad, Barb Holland, who thought Steve was both a good person and a blockhead, and the new Munson boy, who didn't say much of anything, but especially nothing about the time he caught Steve crying in the woods in April after his parents missed the sixth birthday in a row.
It didn't really get better until high school, when his father demanded suggested he sign up for the basketball team; practice and drills helped diffuse a lot of that stifled anger, and for the first time, Steve feels like he can breathe. He doesn't have to be angry all the time anymore, even if most of his calm is just a lack of energy. That isn't to say the anger is gone; he still gets into fights often, but he manages to tone down the violence and rely more on a sharp tongue and a lazy confidence whenever fighting is brought up.
Cue season one! Steve, at the top of his game, the bloody, undisputed King of Hawkins High, is absolutely head over heels for sweet, shy Nancy Wheeler. He bares his soul to Nancy, who, after hearing what he has to say, promises that she'll be there for him. They're together now, they look after each other. It's everything Steve had ever wanted.
When he finds out about the creepy photos Jonathan took of them at Steve's pool on the night Barb went missing (and I love Jonathan, I really do, but what the hell man), he feels that anger starting to boil over again and panics. He was doing so well! Nancy would help, though, just hearing that find "You're an idiot, Steve Harrington" would cool him off. But it worsens when he tries to sneak in to Nancy's room and Jonathan is SLEEPING in Nancy's bed, half-curled around her. Steve doesn't want to get the cops called on him again, so he goes home.
The next day, it all boils over. He tried to stay calm, really, but it was like using a wine cork to stop a volcano; he stands by while Carol and Tommy spread rumors about Nancy, smirks cruelly while Carol spray paints the slur on the movie theater sign, and does not give an inch when Nancy calls him an ass, tears in her eyes and flanked by Jonathan. He's trying his damnedest to keep his hands to himself, though (his father wasn't happy the last time Steve got arrested, and somehow Steve knew that he wouldn't be happy if it happened again), so he's caught off guard when Jonathan starts throwing punches. (Later, Steve will admit that he doesn't really remember what he'd said to make Jonathan so angry that he'd actually try to fight Steve, but he'll apologize anyway. Jonathan is quick to forgive, and apologizes for starting the fight, as well). Steve's memory gets spotty around this time; he remembers a sharp pain in his head, just above his left ear, and being so dizzy that he struggles not to throw up, but he doesn't remember Jonathan landing any other hits (he has three bruises, two around his sternum and one under his eye, as well as a split lip), and he definitely does not remember running from the police trying to break up the fight.
It takes him a few hours to calm down, but it's largely due to the gap in his memory keeping him confused and panicked; he can't remember what he said, and Jonathan Byers may be a girlfriend-stealer but Steve remembers that he's also the kid who held funerals for the mice caught in the traps behind the school gym. Whatever he said had to have been really, really messed up, and Steve genuinely hates that he gets angry, that it isn't uncommon for him to lose time to his anger, that his first response to anything is always anger. So he goes to apologize.
The loaded gun pointed at his face is somehow the least upsetting part of that night.
During season 2, there's a lot going on. Steve has been working so hard on his anger, on keeping a lid on it and actually processing his emotions (thank you, therapy that Hopper demanded Hawkins Lab provide), but it wasn't enough. Nancy resented him, had actually blamed him for Barb's death, and that bitterness came to a head on Halloween.
Without Nancy, Steve struggled a lot more. He had nothing, no one; he didn't have anyone to tell about his parents' death in early June, and he didn't like talking about his wealth. There was no support system- until Dustin decided that Steve was going to help him. The kid was relentless and demanding and trusted Steve to help him almost immediately. Steve could hardly keep up, but he loved the feeling. And, when they ended up in a junkyard bus surrounded by demon dogs, he had three people depending on him, and suddenly he had a way to channel his anger (Dr. Harris would be so proud when he told her). He had a bat and enough unresolved trauma to rival those people his dad used to talk about with shell shock, and by the gods he was going to use that. He went apeshit on some demodogs, saved the kid's lives, and apparently became a big brother to a genius boy and a little girl that could probably fight God and win. He also got his third concussion when Max's stepbrother threatened to kill Lucas, but the order of events for that night is skewed; he blames the concussion. The doctor Hopper forced him to go to after said that he may never hear out of his left side again.
Season 3 sees Steve with a little family that he built all on his own: there's Will (who's shy but has a smile like sunshine when Steve asks him about anything), Jonathan (who cried when Steve asks if they can be friends and then proceeds to infodump on musicians every time he hears Steve so much as hum in a mildly musical manner), Max (the girl with a keen sense and a quick wit, whose older brother terrifies Steve because that's exactly how he could have turned out had he not gotten help), Lucas (who treated Steve like the big brother he never had and often called him racist for trivial things ["Steve, can we order pizza?" No. "Is it because I'm black?"]) Erica (who just sorta showed up with Lucas on occasion and reminded Steve just how fun it could be to be That Bitch), Mike (who alternated between passive assholery and cartoon-esque assassination attempts), Nancy, shockingly (who sat Steve down soon after the massacre at the hospital and apologized for blaming him for- well, everything. They'd talked for a long time, hashing it out, and by the end of it, Steve felt like he had a friend), Eleven (who comes by every Wednesday and Saturday for homemade waffles and a secret knitting circle), and Dustin (who became like a real little brother in the span of three days and never looked back. Steve vowed to keep Dustin safe with everything in him that night in the tunnels.).
He meets Robin when he gets a job at Starcourt (he may be set for life but Hop had told him that hard work built character, and Hop was the kind of man Steve wanted to become). She's wary of him, at first, especially when she watches him break the ice cream machine in a (now rare) fit of anger after a customer blew up at him for their ice cream melting before they finished it. But then he stammers through an apology and brings her a batch of cookies the next day, and tries to explain that he's better now, really, and Robin decides that he's a good person deep down. Maybe not too deep down, though, because his cookies are the best she's ever had. Besides, watching his face turn cherry red as he hides behind the shelves to spy on the repair guy is the most entertaining thing she's seen all summer, possibly in her life.
("Steve, you're drooling," she warns, and Steve hurriedly checks his chin.
"I'm making sure he doesn't get his hair stuck in the machine!" He tries to defend.
"First, his hair is under that bandanna. Second, Eddie Munson would rather die than ruin his rockstar hair.")
Their ice cream machine breaks six more times before Dustin comes back from camp, and each time Steve is a flustered mess talking to Eddie Munson. To his credit, Eddie only gives Steve a half-fond, amused smile before chatting with him about nothing in particular. After the third time, Eddie starts calling Steve "big boy" and lightly teasing him over the fist-shaped dents in the side of the machine.
Steve fights the Russians in the secret Starcourt base, not because they're coming at him, but because one of them reaches out for Dustin/Erica. The edges of his vision blurs, and distantly he knows that he's experiencing something like his childhood episodes: all his can feel is fire in his soul, burning straight through his body, and he has to get it out, he has to protect his brother-
"Wow, Steve won a fight!" Dustin crows as Steve is coming back to himself, his whole body trembling with leftover rage and no one to take it out on. Steve just clutches Dustin to him and tries to breathe. Dustin allows it for two minutes, then starts to squirm, but Steve doesn't release him until they hear footsteps.
With Dustin and Erica safe, Steve surrenders pretty easily- he needed to save his energy. But then they started the "interrogation," and Robin sounded so scared, and they hurt his hands and there were drugs-
Steve faintly remembers jumping onto a man (so tall and broad that Steve briefly felt like he was just a backpack) and biting him, locking his jaw and clawing like a feral cat. Robin remembers Steve promising to "smack the red right out of you commie assholes" while forcing his way through the tunnels, but she can't be sure if it was real or the drugs they were given. Dustin recalls Steve giggling at the movie they were hiding in, like a dork. Erica will never forget that Steve has a Berserker mode, or that he protected her even though she was in the process of blackmailing him for free ice cream.
In October of '85, Jason Carver catches him in the high school parking lot one night as he waits for Hellfire to get out. Steve denies all memories of what was said between them, but Jason walks away without need for an ambulance, so he counts it as a win.
In December of '85, the day that the kids all get out for Christmas Break, Chrissy Cunningham finds him in the parking lot and they sit for nearly an hour talking about projects for their secret knitting circle with the police chief's daughter. As hellfire let's out, Chrissy leaves, and Steve gets to watch as the older members walk his kids to his car, like awkward little nerdy gentlemen. Eddie always hands them off with a flourish and a wink. ("The children, Your Highness," he would say confidently, his three nerds behind him giving him nervous looks. "Perhaps you'll join us next week, my liege?" Steve pretends to be unamused by his theatrics, but Eddie has an infectious grin and a genuinely happy shine to his eyes.)
Season 4, Steve is definitely on edge, twitchy as they search for Eddie. He's worried for Dustin, who is attracted to trouble and smart enough to drag everyone else into it too, but also for Eddie, who occasionally popped by Family Video to talk with Robin. According to Eddie, he's allowed in the break room and behind the counter because he and Robin are "friends of Dorothy". Steve doesn't even know a Dorothy. (Eddie usually waits until Steve walks away in a flustered, confused huff before whispering to Robin, "Dorothy says: be gay, do crime.")
Eddie held a jagged glass bottle to his neck and Steve didn't feel anything. He wasn't scared for his life like the news promised he would be, nor was he angry like he'd expected he would be. Eddie shuffles around nervously, but the only thing Steve feels is concern for him.
He gets dragged through the Watergate and immediately attacked by those godawful bats- he was almost in the boat, they had to help Max, he would not lose his baby sister, and boom, he's back to fighting. He fends them off with the help of Eddie, Robin, and Nancy, all of whom he is furious with for following him into the Upside Down like idiots.
"Harrington's got her. Don't ya, big boy?" Eddie teased, and Steve felt electricity through his whole being. His face flushed red and he stammered an affirmative, not noticing Robin or Eddie as they grinned at each other. Eddie stuck close the entire time they were in the RV, and if Steve didn't know better, he'd say Eddie was flirting with him. But he did know better, there was no way Eddie was flirting. He was on the run and desperate for human interaction.
Separating for the plan was the hardest thing Steve had ever done. While Dustin was getting ready, Steve pulled Eddie aside. "Please keep him safe. I'll do anything you want, just please, don't let anything happen to him," he begged, desperately clutching Eddie's sleeves. "He's my brother, Eddie, I can't lose him-"
"I promise, Steve," Eddie had interrupted. "I'll guard him with my life."
"Guard him with mine," Steve insisted. Eddie didn't get it at first, but it would hit him later that Steve wanted Eddie to keep them both safe.
Steve would never tell a soul, but he liked confronting Vecna. Armed with chemical weapons, Robin stayed a bit behind, but Nancy emptied round after round into One, and Steve? Steve got to use his bat.
It was exhilarating; as much as he hated his anger problems, he could not deny that it felt good to attack the source of all their problems. His arms grew tired after a while, though, and Vecna seemed distracted, disoriented, so Steve resorted to his usual tactics. He never fought fair: biting, scratching, clawing his way to victory in everyday scuffles, there was no way he'd give up this opportunity.
Something in him twists suddenly. He feels sick to his stomach and scared, but he has no idea why. All he can think about is Eddie and Dustin- he's hurt he's hurt he'shurtheshurtheshurt. So he makes the decision to go back; Nancy and Robin technically have the injured Vecna under control. He runs.
Eddie is being swarmed when he makes it to the trailer. One minute, Steve watches as they descend on his friend(?), and the next, he's supporting an injured Eddie as they hobble together to Wayne Munson's truck, Wayne on Eddie's other side and rambling about "what the hell is going on" so similarly to Hop that Steve feels the hollow sting of loss. Later, as they rest in the living room of Steve's empty house, Dustin tells Steve about what he saw: Eddie, going to the ground, unable to fight them off any longer, hope lost and grief already tearing its claws into Dustin's chest, and then out of nowhere Steve appears, covered in bits of vine and rock. He tells Steve about the enraged roar he could hear from the trailer (ten feet behind Dustin as his hobbling came to a stop) and the nail bat that had yet to leave Steve's hand swinging at each assailant with such a precision that, for a brief moment in the chaos, Dusting could hear the sounds of an orchestra playing a symphony, Steve as their ragged, bloodied maestro. He tells Steve about the wild look in Steve's eyes as he carried a half-conscious Eddie into the trailer, snarling about how stupid and careless Eddie was, and how moronic Dustin was for jumping through a gate the way he did. He tells Steve about the stray demobat that burst through the door, how Steve grabbed it with his bare hands and ripped it in half- Dustin's got stars in his eyes as he relays this, even now, days later.
∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆
This kinda got away from me I'm sorry
I'm still new to people wanting to read what I write so I'm just gonna tag the one person I know was also excited about steve being feral: @amoris-no-smut-allowed
1K notes · View notes
monkiesimp · 1 year
Note
Hey Hey! Could I request Marriage Headcanons for Macaque, Wukong, and Azure Lion?? You could add any characters to this if you'd like to as well! <3
THAT'S SO SWEET, YES. I tried my best so 😭 I'm sorry if I suck at this
Wukong:
- Being married with Wukong and living with him in the Flower Fruit Mountain is very nice and peaceful
- Mostly it's just the two of you, if he married you of course he'd want you to stay near him as much as possible!
- Expect cuddles all day, every day 24/7 because once he hugs you he won't ever let go.
- He never gets tired of cuddling you even if you're married and still craves for affection, he just loves it. Can you blame him? It feels so warm and comfy.
- Besides mostly being alone with Wukong, Mk does visit to train but as soon as he's done Wukong would immediately go over to you to see what you're up to.
- You and Mk get along pretty well, if he's injured you'd treat his injuries. You see him like your own son, sort of, but you really do love him! He's a good kid.
- You also bond with the monkeys on this island and they seem to like you, the monkeys even gave you a flower crown. They probably think you're their queen. Oh, well, you technically are their queen by now since you married The Monkey King.
- Seeing you bond with monkey's is the cutest thing Wukong ever saw, and seeing it every time makes him love you even more.
- Though you love being in Flower Fruit Mountain, you don't like staying there for all eternity and Wukong does take you somewhere else whenever you wish to.
- He always picks the best places to go to like 😩👌
- He just knows places very well, and every time he brings you to somewhere it's always new and it's always beautiful.
- You two use a lot, lot of sweet nicknames on each other. Like wayyyy too much.
- Macaque would have definitely tried to kidnap you to get to Wukong at one point once he met you and realized how much you meant to each other.
- But that was in the past, nonetheless let's just say Macaque didn't try to the plan twice after that.
- Overall, you two are very sweet and still cuddle every night together, Wukong got so used to it that he can't sleep without you near him.
- You two rarely ever argue, you understand each other and work your problems out.
Macaque:
- Macaque loves you very very deeply, once you two get married he just *might* be affectionate towards you in public.
- Don't get your hopes up though, he does nothing more than hold your hand, just small gestures.
- He isn't very comfortable being all snuggly in public and showing too much affection.
- But once you two are alone, he never stops holding you in his arms.
- He doesn't hesitate to cuddle you anymore like he used to in the past, now he would take first action to hold you close to him when he wants to be near you.
- He still loves to tease you and mess with you, seeing you so flustered when he teases you makes him love you even more, you're just so cute when you're embarrassed.
- Yes, you still are flustered by his teasing even when married. Have you seen this man? The things he can say and do are just... Wow.
- Mostly you do tease him back and play along but he always finds something to say that leaves you completely speechless.
- By now he told you pretty much everything about him, so you know about his six ears and his past.
- Unfortunately, you two do have arguments from time to time and it's mostly about Macaque wanting to get revenge on Wukong. You don't like it, it's almost like he's obsessed with getting his revenge more than he loves you.
- You understand what Wukong did was horrible, but is there really a need for revenge after all these years instead talking it out?
- Of course, you do end up forgiving each other but it takes some time because none of you want to make the first move to apologize.
- After LBD thing tho, it's more calmer and the arguments nearly perished away.
- Macaque would often take you with him on adventures since he travels a lot, he shows you all the beautiful views he knows of.
- You're always impressed by the views you see, each is unique and magnificent.
- During those times, it's the most beautiful times with Macaque. It always stays in your memory, Macaque always does something memorable you'd never forget.
- He gets intimative with you way too many times 😭
⚠️ S4 SPOILER ⚠️
Azure Lion:
- Ok, we all barely know about the guy so don't expect this to be good but I'll try.
- Azure would do anything and everything to make sure you always feel safe and comfortable
- He has no problems of showing affection when in public but he very rarely does it
- He's not a guy to cuddle, but if you want it and crave for it? He'd hold you in his arms as much as you need him to
- He's usually very busy and doesn't have much time to be with you, he hates it too.
- But you understand, which makes him very grateful to you.
- He rarely shows any affection towards you, so it's kinda platonic between you two most of the time - yes, even if you're married
- But he does make sure to give you enough love for you to feel happy
- You never have arguments either, if you do end up having one (it's always you who comes up with a argument lol) Azure can quickly calm the situation down and come up with a good solution to both of your problems
- Azure is a very calm lion, he's not the person to let his anger take control of him.
- If you ever want to go somewhere with him, he refuses for you to tag along because it's too dangerous, and he doesn't want you to be hurt
- You do end up being disappointed after that, but Azure always does something to make it up to you, whenever that be taking you somewhere or gifting you something.
- Though it's mostly platonic between you two, he truly does love you with all his heart and whenever he takes any action of affection towards you, you blush like crazy
- THIS MAN RARELY EVER KISSES YOU, YOU WILL BE SURPRISED WHEN HE ACTUALLY DECIDES TO TAKE ACTION
- You simp for him hard. He knows it. You don't think he notices you glancing at his body? 🤨 He loves it tho and he finds it adorable and amusing.
1K notes · View notes
ja3mln · 9 months
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
nct dream & their love language
cw: fluff, very slight smut (jeno, hc, jaemin & jisung), overall it's gn but use of the word "girl" in the dialogues (renjun & jaemin), also mention of period (mark & chenle), quick mention of food/eating (mark, chenle & jisung)
_____________________________________________
mark; quality time & act of service
mark loves spending time with you. his favorite moments are when you come to the studio and keep him company, even if you're just sitting here and watching him making music and helping him or doing your own stuff. loves taking you on improvised date like you're chilling and he will suddenly ask 'wanna go on a date?' at the most random times of the day. loves late night dates in the park or just walking in the dark streets and have late night talks. loves when you both are just chilling on your bed and you help him found the lyrics for his next song and you end up making out, mark stopping from time to time to write lyrics he just thought about; "damn we should make out more, i've never been so inspired". this man just loves being with you, whatever you're doing. mark is someone you can always count on when you need something. actually, you don't even have to ask, he will always make sure you have everything you need: he always brings something to eat when he comes over, when you text him about something you need to get later or something you need to do, he will always try to do it for you, sometimes without even telling you and be like: 'oh by the way, i got you those tampons you needed', like it's the most normal thing to do. he loves to cook for you when you had a long day or you're just too lazy, he always makes sure you're eating and resting well.
renjun: quality time & words of affirmation
renjun always feels the need to touch you, whether it's when you're out or just the two of you. when you're out, he always holds your hand or has one of his hands on your back to keep you close. he always needs to feel you besides him and make sure you're safe. when you two are alone, he loves when you play with his hand or his hair, or when you both cuddle and have small talks. he just loves quiet moments with you, when he gets to hear only your voice and your breath, and nothing else. renjun is kind of shy when it comes to expressing his feelings, but when it's about you, he just can't help but tell you how much he loves you and that he's happy to have you. he loves reminding you, and himself, that he's the luckiest to have you, saying things like, "i'm so glad to have you in my life" and "you're the prettiest girl i've ever seen". even though renjun is the type to enjoy stay-in dates, he loves going out with you but in quiet places like small coffee shops or flower gardens where he gets to hold your hand, have small talks with you, and even share small kisses. he just loves being in his small bubble with you.
haechan; physical touch & quality time
this man is obsessed with you (in a good way) and is going to let you know every time he has the chance to. he always has his hands on you, it could be his hand holding yours or his arm on your waist to keep you close. he loves playing with your hair; it becomes automatic when you're chilling together or watching a movie, his hand will automatically find a way to your hair. he loooooves spending time with you. he would text you every day to ask if you can come over to watch a movie or to play video games, or even just lay in his bed and chill. also, he loves when you sleep over. he loves going out with you, anywhere, anytime: to the arcade, to the park, to the grocery, and even clubbing; he loves partying with you. but his favorite moments are when you both chill on the bed, listen to your favorite songs, and talk about anything. sex with haechan is full of touching, all over your body; he just makes sure he leaves his touch on every single inch of your skin. he also loves the effect his hands have on you and will take advantage of it to drive you crazy.
jeno; physical touch & words of affirmation
jeno always needs to make sure you're feeling loved. he doesn't miss any chance to let you know that you're loved and to compliment you about small details that no one notices but him: "oh, this little mole is so cute," "is that a new set of nails? i love it, baby," "did you change the shade of your blush? it looks good on you." jeno is really comfortable with showing affection in public, so he won't hesitate to steal small kisses from you, hold your hand, or stop while you're walking to pull you by the waist and remind you how good you look today. he stares at you a lot. like a lot. he would get lost in his own thoughts and end up apologizing because he didn't even listen to what you were saying: "sorry, baby. it's so hard to concentrate when you look this beautiful," and will kiss you. when you two are alone, jeno gets even more clingy and can't take his hands off you. he loves getting you on his lap and making out for hours, praising you as much as he can. sex with jeno is something you've never experienced before, how can he make you feel so loved and good while fucking you so roughly? he loves rough sex but also soft sex where he gets to touch you gently and whispers sweet words to you (he does during rough sex too but it's another kind of sweet words lmao): "i could watch you take my cock for hours", "you're the best, baby. you're doing so good", "fuck, i love you so fucking much".
jaemin; physical touch & words of affirmation
one thing about this man is that he's always going to make sure you feel loved. he always makes sure he tells you how beautiful you are every day and how much he loves you: "i love you, okay? i'm so lucky to have this beautiful girl just for me." he needs more than words to give you the love you deserve, though, so he won't hesitate to cup your face and look at you with the softest eyes ever when he says those words and kiss you passionately. he loves praising you whenever you've accomplished the smallest things; he always needs to make sure you know how proud he is of you. he calls you every day (when you can't hang out) to remind you that he loves you and that he misses kissing you. talking about kisses, his kisses would be the sweetest you've ever had. kissing jaemin feels like heaven, and that's exactly how he wants you to feel. he would whisper sweet words between the kisses: "i'm so in love with you," "i could kiss you for hours," "i never want to stop looking at you.". when it comes to sex, whether it's rough or soft sex, jaemin will always make sure you're okay and that you're feeling good. his touch would be so gentle and he would praise you everytime he finds the chance to: "so beautiful with my cock in your mouth, baby", "good girl, you're doing so good", "be patient, angel. let me make you feel good".
chenle; quality time & act of service
chenle is a bit shy when it comes to physical touch, so he would do his best to show his love in any other way. his love language is a lot of teasing and playful interactions, so when it comes to really showing his feelings, he gets shy. he always tries to spend time with you whenever he can; he would always ask you to hang out as soon as he's free. he wants to make sure that you feel loved even if he rarely tells you how much he loves you. he loves dates that involve fun activities like the arcade, escape games, or mini-golf, but also dates where he gets to talk with you for hours, like when you eat together. he always makes sure you have everything you need; he always insists on cooking for you and going to the grocery when you're tired and need something. when you're on your period, you can always count on him to take care of you. when you two are alone, chenle gets more comfortable with physical touch and would cuddle you or play with your hair while you watch random videos, laying on the bed together. he tries to imprint every moment spent with you in his brain and make it special for him but also for you.
jisung; quality time & physical touch
when you start dating jisung, there weren't a lot of physical touch: small kisses here and there, shyly holding hands or him putting his arm around you, but nothing too physical. but once he got comfortable, he couldn't keep his hands for himself when he's with you, he always needs to feel your skin on his, even if it's just your two tights brushing or his hand on your tight. he just needs to feel you here with him. when you two are in public, he tries to be more discreet, holding your hand or letting you put your arm around his while you're walking. but once you're alone, he gets very clingy and always tries to hold you as close as possible. he loves making out with you but not too much because he likes to stare at you a lot, so he prefers when you two are just chilling together, and he gets to watch you and play with your fingers or your hair. he loves taking you on arcade and amusement park dates. he just likes having fun with you so much. he's obsessed with night dates too, like in the middle of the night when the two of you are chilling, he would just suddenly ask if you want to get ramen or if you want to go for a walk. he loves walking at night with you, holding your hand, and he gets to steal long and sweet kisses because there's only the two of us in the streets. jisung gets more shy when it comes to sex, though. he's very hesitant and gentle because he's just scared to make a bad move and hurt you or make you uncomfortable. but at the end, his touch always makes you feel loved and safe.
____________________________________________
982 notes · View notes
drysaladandketchup · 2 months
Note
for the "things you said" writing meme -- matthew/leon, 12 :)
Thank you for the request <3 I realised very quickly I have no idea what constitutes a 'mini' fic. I struggle to write 'mini' anything lol. Hopefully this still satisfies :)
12. things you said when you thought i was asleep
It takes all of Matthew's willpower not to reach over and smash his phone just to shut up the alarm. All that saves his wallet and an awkward trip to the Apple store is the split-second realisation that the shrieking in his ear isn't his usual alarm.
It's a ringtone. Not his own, either.
He pries his eyes open to find the world through the window is still dark. One of the balcony doors is still ajar, letting in a cool night breeze. He's lying on his side in his own bed, the end of the all-star weekend memorialized by several aches and bruises.
His hips and ass are a little sore too, but that's unrelated. Technically.
The ringing stops. Someone huffs behind him.
Someone. Yeah, no, Matthew knows who it is. They may have met up at the bar once the media was done swarming, but Matthew was far from drunk. Painfully sober, in fact. If he's being honest with himself, he was hoping things would turn out this way.
One more time. One more moment. Because it's been a long time since they were them. Longer still since the sex was just sex, since hate became want. Matthew is strong in a lot of ways, but not against this.
"Davo." Leon's voice is low, and still gruff from sleep when he answers his phone. He sits up on his side of the bed, trying not to disturb Matthew, pulling the covers back up over Matthew's shoulder like he thinks he'll freeze to death in this balmy Florida winter.
Usually Matthew's a heavy sleeper. But never when Leon's around. He makes it impossible for Matthew to completely relax, to let time slip by. Leon's just too big of a presence, almost too much to bear. It was more important that everything linger, to bask in the strange comfort of their relationship, whatever it was. They had so little time. Even less, now.
"I know it's late. No, no, I'm not at the hotel. I'm... I'm with Tkachuk."
Leon says his last name like it's wrong, like it's rotting on his tongue.
When he corrects himself, says, "Matthew", it's better, lighter. Like it's ambrosia.
Matthew remembers when Leon Draisaitl saying his name wouldn't have meant a damn thing to him. When that simple act didn't fill him with fondness.
In the silence, Matthew can hear McDavid talking on the other end, but can't quite make out what he's saying. Matthew tucks up under the duvet, breathing quiet and even, trying to focus instead on the distant sound of waves and the ticking clock on his wall.
Ticking. Always ticking. Time bleeds out when they're together.
He doesn't even remember falling asleep last night, but he wishes he hadn't now. He wishes he'd stayed awake longer, just to... just too see him. To look Leon in the eye, to talk about everything and nothing until dawn, to feel big, too-warm hands on his body more and more and more. He wants to make sure he'll remember how Leon feels, sounds, tastes.
"Connor," Leon says, a warning, followed by a sigh. "I know. I know, okay? It was stupid, but..."
Maybe it was. Matthew has a good thing here in Florida. Better than ever. He was happy to leave Alberta behind and start over. So why did leaving make him feel like a coward?
Because leaving was about Calgary, and the Flames. About his career and his future. It wasn't about Leon. Leon was the wrench in the gears; the one thing he didn't expect to have to say goodbye to, the kind of hurt he never could have accounted for.
"I needed to see him." Leon sounds helpless. He's not the only one.
The only time he's heard Leon so lost was after his team was knocked out of the playoffs last season. The Oilers meant nothing--Matthew was pretty fucking glad considering they'd beat out the Flames--but he never wanted to hear Leon like that again.
He definitely never wanted to be the cause of it. Not like this.
Leon is still mumbling into his phone. "Yeah, I'm fine. He's... we're good. He's happy."
A hand settles on Matthew's head. Fingers play with his curls, nails scratch his scalp. A thumb presses just behind Matthew's ear, stroking the soft skin where only hours before Leon had put his lips, whispering sweetness and filth in equal measure.
It takes everything for Matthew not to groan, to whimper and surrender, roll over and climb on top of Leon and take all over again. Beg him to take something--everything--from Matthew.
"I don't know," Leon says then.
It's easy to guess what McDavid asked.
He's happy. But are you?
"I can't even tell him I still love him."
Still. Matthew didn't even know there was a before, let alone a still. Leon never said anything. Fuck, if Matthew wasn't busy trying to remember how to breathe, he'd roll over and punch him.
Then again, what did Matthew ever say? They never talked about it. Never let those closet hook-ups and slipping out back doors and little drinks and dinners and overnights excused as practical necessity be anything more than that. A bunch of chirps and half-truths and aborted discussions because it was all becoming too much. There was too much uncertainty. Too many ways it could go wrong.
It did go wrong. It became something. It became real.
Maybe that would have changed something. Maybe it wouldn't have changed anything at all. It doesn't matter now. Matthew left, and neither of them said a word about things like love, because it was easier to hope it would shrivel and die with distance and time.
"I know I'm being stupid." Leon pauses when McDavid interrupts, then huffs. "No, I am. Fuck, I really thought I'd get over it. Maybe I will. Eventually."
Don't you fucking dare, you piece of shit, Matthew wants to scream.
"Not sure I can, though." Leon swallows so loud Matthew can hear it. Then quieter, like he's not sure he's even allowed to admit it, he says, "I don't really want to."
He's still playing with Matthew's hair, occasionally dragging a finger over his bare shoulder or down his back, tracing imaginary lines across Matthew's flesh. Like he's something to be memorized and cherished.
They're both so fucking stupid. Matthew bites his lip and tries not to choke on the lump in his throat. Could be his heart, climbing right up and out of his mouth. He clings to the sheets with shaking hands.
"I'm not going to fuck up what he's got here," Leon says tiredly, voice thick with tension and pathetic resignation.
Leon's not here to drag him back. He wouldn't do that. So why is he here? Just to torture them both? Being with him doesn't feel like torture. It feels like winning. It feels like defiance and decadence and too much and not enough. It feels like what could have been and what could still be.
He didn't find Leon at that bar and bring him home out of pity, or nostalgia, one last fuck for old times sake. It was... it just was. Not an ending. Not some final goodbye. Proof maybe there could still be something. Getting over it was never an option, Matthew knew that well before he stepped onto the ice as a Panther and found himself staring Leon down all over again.
Matthew's vision is blurring. His eyes sting, warm and wet. There's blood pounding in his ears, and a hand clutching his heart, a vice around his lungs. He hardly remembers how to breathe.
He doesn't catch the rest of Leon's conversation, except something about meeting Connor back at the hotel tomorrow. Meaning he's staying the night, at least. He's staying.
When Leon hangs up the phone, Matthew finally comes up for air. He relaxes his shoulders, listening to the soft thump as Leon taps his phone against his forehead over and over. Then it clatters on the side table. Leon sighs, sniffs, and sinks back under the covers. He tucks right up against Matthew's back, still burning like a furnace, soft muscle and skin brushing Matthew's spine in all the right ways.
He throws an arm around Matthew and finds one of his hands, worming his fingers through the gaps to hold it. His palm is sweaty, not that it matters at all to Matthew. He can't help squeezing Leon's hand a little, but if Leon notices, he doesn't say a word.
Not until he's wrapped tight around Matthew, near suffocating, like any part of them that isn't touching is a sin.
"Love you," Leon mumbles, barely more than a whisper, pressing his lips right to the base of Matthew's neck. Matthew's body can't seem to decide whether to shiver or melt under the heat.
Leon says it like it's inevitable. Painful. Pitiful.
What he's saying is, I'm sorry I love you. I'm sorry I couldn't say it before. I'm sorry I don't know how to say it now. I'm sorry it's too late, it's the wrong place, the wrong time.
Like he doesn't think Matthew could ever understand. And that's the worst part of it all. They're still not on the same page. Tearing down what they never built.
If Leon's only brave enough to say it when Matthew's asleep, then Matthew will just have to be brave enough to say it in the light of day. He doesn't run, and he won't now that he knows he doesn't have to.
He stares into the night outside his window, listening to Leon breathe, feeling his heart beat through Matthew's chest like that's where it longs to be.
Tomorrow. Tomorrow maybe they can stop chasing time long enough to make the most of what they have. To make up for what they've wasted. And whatever happens after, well, maybe they can stop being afraid of that, too.
149 notes · View notes
deadsnothere · 8 months
Text
Gunslinger Girl! pt.2
Tumblr media
Synopsis - After getting a call from Garp, Alias made her way to the Baratie for a nice bite to eat and a long needed reunion.
Part 1
WARNINGS!! - READER HAS A NAME!!
Request - no, not taking them.
Word count - 2.5k
Speak Ali! - Both parts together make 5,340 words, it's evolved my brain man.
Tumblr media
I saw this ending many ways. Deep diving for Luffy was one of the many.
I unclipped my gun holster so they fell right off my shorts and dove in after Luffy as soon as Arlong was out of my sight. Water made him lighter so it wasn't hard to get the hefty boy back onto land, with help of Usopp and Sanji of course. I hated it, watching him cough up water and choke like he did. I wanted to find the largest ice bullet known to man and put it in that stupid man's skull. Luffy Spoke, even if it was weakly. “Where's Nami?” Usopp spoke next. “She’s gone. She’s a member of Arlong's crew.” He gave up trying to stay up and just laid there. “No. She can't be.” Usopp was sitting with his legs open, arms resting on his knees, Sanji stood on his knees, and I was sitting on my left thigh beside luffy taking my button up shirt off all the way (the texture of the wet clothes on my body made me want to scream.) and grabbing my guns from their holsters to insure they were ok.
The Baratie’s ship bell rang. As everything slowly went quiet, nothing but me and Luffy's heavy breathing filling the thick sea air.
I was introduced to a sleeping man named Zoro. At that point both me and Luffy's clothes had dried, so we weren't dripping on him. I said hello, introduced myself and decided I was hungry so I walked out of the room to get something to eat. This is one of the only times I was sure Luffy wouldn't follow me to the kitchen. I knew he wouldn't follow because he doesn't eat when he's feeling guilty. Once he didn't eat dinner with Dadan because he felt bad for accidentally punching me in the face with his gum gum power but he felt better after we talked about it and he ate almost everything in the house that night. Me and Sanji had a lovely conversation, he's a bit of a perv but he's a gentleman so he definitely gets my respect, especially with those fighting moves i saw earlier.
“So how did a beauty like you meet him?” Sanji was chopping up some beef he brought from the Baratie. He asked if I wanted anything and I kindly asked for beef stew, because everything is better with stew, or soup! I was swirling some of the Marlot from the bottle I bought earlier around in a different wine glass. “Me and Luffy grew up together, he was a careless idiot. I think most of the time we spent together was me patching him up after he would fall from a tree or something.” He could tell the thought made me happy by how a smile drew across my lips in a thin line. It was subtle but those smiles were always the most feelingful ones. He nodded along with me laughing at my words. “And how did you become a warlord of the sea?” I clicked my tongue and laughed softly. “Now that is a long story for a different day. How did you become a cook?” He stopped what he was doing momentrally and looked me in the eye. “I was picked up by a cruise ship, the cooks took me in and taught me everything I know.” He continued to cook. “Except for the stuff the old bag taught me.” I laughed at the name and finally took a sip of my wine. “Well they did an excellent job teaching you.” I winked at him and he just laughed back.
I took both pistols out of their holsters and set them carefully on the table. “Where are your guns from, they look familiar.” I smiled and reached for one of them, holding it in my hand carefully. “Their names are Alice and The White Rabbit, both of them are Dual-barreled, they're quite sleek, I've always thought it was important to keep your best companions clean. They were given to me by an old friend I still hold close to my heart.” I set the gun back down and smiled at the cook as he poured some veggies into the pot. "One was named after her, and the other after her clean fluffy friend. We had a beautiful friendship, if only it hadn't ended so soon.” There was a morbid but soft feeling in the air. We both hadn’t been telling the complete truth but we really didn't care, we would tell eventually, either with the rest of the crew or not. The rest of the time spent cooking was silent, right until the end. When he was finished stirring the pot.
“So how long have you been in love with Luffy?” I spit the wine out of my mouth, my hand reaching up to wipe it off my chin. “W-What-” He held a smirk on his face as he lit up a cigarette he got from the pack in his pocket. “You don't look at him like your friends, and no one normal starts to physically shake when they see someone.” I winced slightly at the mention. Standing up from where I sat. “There are..certain things about me and Luffy that are platonic..and there are some that aren't. I've spent the last ten years of my life trying to figure out what he feels for me. And I'm telling you Sanji, it's not love.” I sighed and finished the little wine I did have left in the glass. I met face to face with Sanji a little ways away from the island, I reached up slightly and kissed his cheek, winking at him over my shoulder as I walked out of the kitchen. “Luffy’s a hard man to read, but I like a challenge.”
I walked over to the room with the loud voice effects and talking, walking into a conversation. “You scared ‘um off, huh?” It made me laugh, that is definitely not what I remember happening. Usopp agreed. “The Great Captain Usopp.” I was leaning on the door frame watching the once sleeping man talk from afar. “Yeah.” I smiled, it was sweet. “That is not what I remember happening.” Luffy looked back at me with a wide smile on his face, his hands starting to shake as he tackled me. “Luff!” The wind was knocked out of me as the rubber man was standing above me. “ALIAS!” he just looked so excited i couldn't bear being mad at him. “Hi Luffy.” His grin continued to spread, and I couldn't help but smile right back. His smile was like my drug, it filled my body to the top with joy, made me want to start giggling like a schoolgirl in love with her best friend. Which is what I practically was.
Luffy left a kiss on my cheek and I left a kiss on his forehead. “How have you been? I see you took to the pirate life well.” He laughed loudly and sat in the middle of the hallways in his own manor. His legs laid on the floor and his hands held the heels of his feet in them. “Yeah! you ready to join my crew now!” My face scrunched up when he said it. “Luffy- you know it's not a good idea-” He interrupted me anyway. “I don't wanna hear that, we made a promise.” I sighed softly and placed a hand on his cheek. “Luffy it's dangerous- Not only will you have the Marines after you because you're a pirate but you’ll be harboring-” He put a hand over my mouth, a fight of who can stop themselves from shaking longest.
I could feel Luffy's body start to tremble underneath my hand on his cheek. but at the exact same moment I started to shake, the callousness on his hand felt like mini kisses on my lips making a shiver go down my back. Which means I lost. I sighed softly as I took my hand off his cheek and my face started to turn red. Luffy had a smile on his face, knowing he won. “I don't care who comes after you, we made a promise. You need to keep your end.” He stood up off the floor and put his hand out for me to grab. My hand went up to his almost by routine but I didn't grab it just yet. “I would be putting you and your entire crew in so much danger..” He grabbed my hand, clasping it tightly. “We’ve been through worse-”
I unclasped our hands and jumped up to hug him. All he did was laugh and pull me up, his arms wrapped around me in his warm luffy way, I could feel his curly hair on my head and his warm hands holding my waist. When we pulled back from the hug, I swiped the hat from his head. “Well- Captain.” His face lit up like a light bulb and his hands started to shake. “I hope you're ready to set sail!” I walked back into the room. Both boys trying to act like they weren't listening in to the conversation happening very close to them.
Usopp looked between both of us and finally spoke. “So uh…are you two?-” I laughed as I took the hat off my head and placed it back on Luffys. Just ignoring the question. “Nice to meet you Zoro, I mean- awake this time.” He looked at me but closed his eyes right after. “Yeah the captain over there said he was waiting for you, Kept talking about you so much I almost thought you weren't real.” I looked over to Luffy, the little glint in my eye causing his hands to shake. Usopp patted Luffy's back, when the flustered boy looked down to the floor. All I could do was smile and answer back. “That's Captain for ya..” Luffy looked back up at me as I said it. There was a flirty tone in my voice but I think the other two were trying to give us a moment. “So I hear you're a gunslinger..and a warlord?” I nodded softly, looking over to usopp who i'm assuming told him. “Uh yeah..You know how it is- World's Youngest Warlord of the Sea..” I trailed off as I finished the sentence.
“How did you get that title at fourteen?” I sighed again, all three boys were staring at me with such intent in their eyes and ears. “I was kidnapped by the world government…They held me captive for years but when I turned fourteen they allowed me my own assigned pirate crew and just a bit of freedom if I did their dirty work.” Luffy hated that story, he always said. “I was stupid as a kid, I should've protected you.” and I said, “You were 9, if you tried to beat up those Marines they would’ve thrown you into a seawater tank.” It always made Luffy pout but it doesn't matter, it was the truth (And his pout is really cute).
Zoro looked like he was calculating that story in his head, trying to figure out the pieces. Usopp on the other hand looked confused. “Why didn’t you just run?” I laughed, it was a genuine laugh, nothing fake or out of anger. “I did, I ran- and ran. and ran. but no matter how far you run there's always going to be someone to catch you.” I sat down on a chair not too far away. “I once joined a pirate crew..i stayed on that crew for a year and that's how i got my name, but no matter what the government will always be back to get me.” Usopp let out a little ‘Oh.’ before Zoro finally spoke up. “So you're joining our crew?” I looked up at him, then glanced over to Luffy, who was waiting for my answer. “Yeah, if anyone has the best chance of keeping me hidden, I guess it's my oldest friend.” I winked at Luffy and Usopp did a little fist pump in the air, Zoro on the other hand was just laughing.
“So what do we do now?” Usopp was looking between all three of us, his gaze constantly going back and forth. “Plot a course for the grandline?” Luffy looked conflicted but also completely sure of himself. “Nope.” Now Usopp was the one conflicted. “But I thought we were going after the one piece.” Luffy looked so sure of himself, he was always confident and ready. “We are.” He looked down at Zoro and me, and then back up at Usopp. “But we can't do it without our whole crew. First..” He brought his straw hat back onto his head, now that it was dry it looked much better on him. “We’re going after Nami..” He had a small accent to his voice, it came from where we grew up. I was sad when mine had disappeared after being away for so long.
“Lot of dried meat in these barrels.” Both me and Usopp were bringing Barrels over from the Baratie for the adventure over to nami’s island and farther. “You think we brought too much?” The only difference was Usopp was sweating and carrying half as much as me. As I let the barrels drop on the ground, both me and Zoro spoke up at the same moment. “You know who you're sailing with?” Luffy was climbing the roping. “Yeah..”
The small moment made me laugh, instead of dwelling on it I continued along to grab the final three barrels from the baratie, but I was interrupted by sanji, who caught me gracefully when I fell into him after tripping on a loose board in the pier. “Heard you guys need a cook.” Sanji was still holding me close. “YEAH!” Luffy yelled, Sanji helped me stand up straight and I thanked him and looked up at the idiot who looks like he's gonna fall in excitement. “Yes, we do!” It was quick moving from then on. We finished supplying the ship, and quickly made sure to get out to sea in time. I was the ship's temporary navigator, but I would love to learn more from Nami if she agrees to join.
Usopp made his way down the stairs of the ship standing near Zoro who was sitting on the stairs behind him. “So we’re…we're going after Nami, but how are we gonna find her?” Zoro spoke up next. “Yeah, we don't even know where she is.” Luffy who was standing on the top floor of the ship said “I know someone who does.” Making all four of us confused and a bit conflicted about our decisions to join him. Everyone got up from their seats or made their way to follow him into the kitchen. When we got into the kitchen luffy was unveiling a clown head on the table, he was spitting out the sand from the bag that he was complaining about earlier. Buggy looked overly happy to see us, his smile wide. “Hello boys! and Misses Cat over there!” I rolled my eyes at the stupid name he’d given me. While Luffy looked so proud of himself.
@otaku-degenarate
335 notes · View notes