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wynnyfryd · 4 months

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Trailer park Steve AU part 49

part 1 | part 48 | ao3

cw: angst, canon-typical violence

It's a totally normal Tuesday the day it all starts going to shit.

Eddie's got a show at The Hideout, and Wayne's got a rare night off, so Steve's at his boyfriend's place without him catching a basketball game with Wayne and Ernie. He did try to go to the show, to be fair; wanted to, but Eddie took one look at the way he was cradling the side of his head and winked at him to "sit this one out, big boy," so here he is: drinking beer with two old men and watching the most frustrating game he's seen all season.

"Oh, what the hell was that?" he begs the tiny screen, jumping out of his seat to pace a tight circle and rake his hands over his scalp hard enough to pluck a few strands. Beside him, Ernie shakes his head and mutters "goddamn disgraceful, that's what" and in the kitchen Wayne munches happily on a fresh plate of nachos, taps his bald head with a half-eaten chip and warns, "Quit tuggin' at your hair 'fore you wind up lookin' like this."

"Whatever, old man." Steve rolls his eyes, but he loosens his grip. Drags his hands down his face instead. "Don't act like you're not loving this."

Wayne laughs, a broad, smug smile that's pure Munson mischief. "Never claimed otherwise," he says, then he pops a cigarette in his mouth and tells them to get their wallets ready.

Bastard. His team's doing fine tonight. (And sure, the bet was only five dollars, but it's a point of pride, damn it.)

Steve turns his attention back to the game, where the ref is making yet another call that's so laughably bad Steve's not sure how he isn't getting decked for it. A stray elbow to the face, at least. Fucking something.

"Jesus Christ," he mumbles; still pacing, arms crossed. "If they don't fire this idiot, I swear..."

He turns to Ernie for back up; remembers that Ernie's got a lapful of Misty the cat right now and quickly looks away. Creepy little thing still freaks Steve out (even if Ernie's stroking her fur like she's a harmless stress toy and not the razor-clawed, rat-chomping demon she really is.) He still can't look at her. Gets queasy just thinking about all the "presents" she's left him since he moved in.

Ernie catches the way his shoulders tense. "Didn't think you'd be afraid of a little pussy," he teases, scratching the cat behind her ears.

Misty gives a low rumble of approval.

Steve's stomach flips. "Whatever," he scoffs, looking anywhere but at them. "That thing's bad luck. No wonder we're losing."

He settles back into his seat, and the game goes on — and on, and on, until the score gets so embarrassing that Steve considers just getting up and yanking the TV plug out of the wall, or maybe storming out of the place in protest — and he's about to beg Wayne for mercy, ask him to change the station to anything else, when the front door opens so softly it sets off alarm bells in his head.

Steve whips around at the lack of sound. Knows immediately that something is wrong, because Eddie Munson doesn't do quiet. Eddie Munson comes home like fireworks going off: Crack! Whizz! Bang! He's always a burst of noise and energy; he's a fucking racket; Wayne's said so a million times — muttered it angrily when Eddie's music keeps him up, grumbled it fondly over breakfast while he tries to stop himself from falling asleep face-first in a plate of eggs.

Tonight Eddie comes home quiet as a thief. A mouse trying to evade the clutch of Misty's claws. His head's hung low as he shucks off his boots, his face obscured by frizzy hair.

Steve's across the room in a heartbeat.

"Baby?" he whispers, trying to peak behind the curtain. Eddie won't look at him, but his breathing sounds off; labored and whistling, and his hair is matted with something dark. "You okay?"

"Fine," Eddie croaks.

They both know it's a lie.

Steve lifts a hand to gently tip his chin up, but the moment his fingers graze skin Eddie winces and tugs away. "Okay," he says, pulling his hand back. "Okay, I'm sorry, just— can you look at me? Please?" He softens his voice, tries to coax Eddie out. You're safe here; you can trust me.

When Eddie finally looks up, Steve's heart lodges in his throat.

His face is ruined. Caked in dried blood, the skin below his left eye like an overripe eggplant: deep purple and threatening to split down the middle, to spill rotten juices all over the floor. There's a cut above his brow, another nick between his eyes, and— fuck.

His nose is broken.

Steve's gonna kill someone.

"Who did this to you?" he asks, deadly quiet. Whoever it is, they're not living to the morning. Steve's got a car and a nail bat and a boy with a broken nose, and he's going to kill whoever did this to him. "Eddie." He grips his biceps; shakes him a little. Insists. "Eddie, tell me who did this!"

Eddie hiccups a weak sob. Lips shiny with blood and tears, and Steve lets go; feels horrible for making it worse, for letting his anger get the best of him. He wraps Eddie up a gentle hug, cradles him against his chest and doesn't care if Ernie sees. He doesn't give a damn.

"Fucking—" Eddie grunts against Steve's shirt, his teeth chattering around the word. His throat clicks when he swallows. Sticky with blood and phlegm.

Hospital, Steve thinks. Blood loss; sepsis; shock.

Eddie gulps a ragged breath and tries again. "Fucking assholes," he gets out, "they took our- t-took our—" The words cut off with a pained whimper, and he breaks down and just cries. Cries and cries until the heaving subsides, until it lessens to muted trembling in Steve's arms. There's fresh blood on his shirt.

Eddie's blood is on his shirt.

He looks up, eyes wet and wide, and then Wayne's there; two strong, weathered hands firm on Eddie's shaking shoulders. "Is it bad?" he asks Steve. No nonsense; demanding answers. Decorated veteran.

Steve nods without a word.

"C'mon, kid," Wayne soothes. "Let's get you cleaned up."

—

part 50

tag list in separate reblogs under '#trailer park steve au taglist' if you'd like to filter that content. if you want to be added please comment and let me know (must be over 21; please either verify in the comment or have your age visible on your blog)

#trailer park steve au #steddie #steddie fic #steve harrington #eddie munson #wayne munson #my writing #my fic

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shikai-the-storyteller · 4 months

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People talk a lot about how Fit didn't want a kid when the Egg event happened, but I'm watching his Egg Event Day stream for the first time and picking up a few interesting things that both confirm and contradict what a lot of people say about Fit's perspective of the Egg event, So here are some notes from his VOD:

Fit immediately went over to Ramon when he saw him and cooed at his cute little mustache.

Fit repeatedly said to himself "I'm not a dad I'm not a dad I'm not a dad" while the informational videos were playing. HOWEVER--

When Ramon flashes the "Egg" sign repeatedly to them, Fit says he has eggs at his base and tells Ramon to wait with Spreen. Ramon chases after him, and Fit insists that he stays with Spreen, saying: "I will be right back, Ramon. Don't worry, I will return. I promise." ~ 1h 17m

Moments later when he's on his own, Fit says "Spreen better keep that Egg alive. I'm not emotionally attached to the Egg with the mustache, ok? I'm not emotionally attached." (Mirroring the things he often says these days about not having separation anxiety. Which is a lie). ~1h 18m

Fit says even though Ramon has a mustache, he doesn't know if Ramon is a boy, girl, or enby. (This isn't really relevant lore-wise, but I thought that was sweet). ~1h 20m

Foolish and Vegetta introduce Leonarda to Ramon, and Vegetta says "Look look, it's a friend, it's a friend! 😊" and then two seconds later says "Now fight to the death! 😊" ~1h 25m

(The QSMP admins also make a whoopsies here and call Fit "Feet" in chat LMAO)

Despite joking that he's going to build Ramon a dog house near his place, when Spreen asks if they should build a simple house or something nicer for Ramon, Fit says, "Well he is our kid, so he deserves only the best, right? Maybe we should make a big mansion." ~1h 31m

Ramon makes a beeline to Fit's starter house (which the admins poked fun at) and excitedly jumps on the bed

Spreen accidentally hits Ramon (again) and Ramon runs off, and Spreen apologizes while he and Fit chase him down. Fit says "He didn't mean to do that, he loves you very much!" ~1h 36m

Fit gifts Ramon a seashell. ~1h 42m

Fit jokes that there's no doubt he's the father because Ramon looks just like him -- bald as an egg

They put Ramon to bed, but Spreen and Fit introduce Roier, Jaiden, and Bobby to Ramon while he's asleep. ~2h 10m

Spreen says he left food for Ramon in case he gets hungry at night. They get worried about Ramon because he's been sleeping for a long time and check to make sure he's still breathing. ~ 2h 14m

Spreen says they'll be a really good team, and Fit says, "We will be very good parents together, I can feel it." (oof) ~ 2h 15m

Fit and Spreen say goodbye to each other, and Fit says "Being a father is not easy, that's why I've put off fatherhood for so long, I don't know if I'm ready." He says it doesn't seem so bad, but Ramon's sleeping a lot and he's kinda lazy, so he doesn't know how he feels about this child, but "We'll make it work." Right after he says this, he suddenly finds Ramon climbing up the hill towards him, and they go fishing together. ~2h 16m

Fit calls Ramon "Mi huevito." ~2h 19m

"I dunno how I got roped into this fatherhood thing" he says while waiting for Ramon to finish using the bathroom. Then he teaches Ramon how to cook the fish they caught (classic Dad behavior) ~2h 21m

Spreen tells Fit he's going out and to take care of Ramon. Fit teases him and says it's a shared responsibility, and Spreen says he has to go to work. ~2h 26m

IMAGES THAT AGED VERY VERY BADLY

The subtitles don't show it, but Spreen is saying "Don't worry, Ramon. You'll see me tomorrow." Fit says he'll teach Ramon how to grow crops, and Spreen says, "That's right Ramon, I want to hear all about how to grow crops when I get back."

Fit tells Ramon "You are my huevito" and sings him a lullaby. 2h 30m

"Spreen going out for cigarettes my ass! I'm not gonna see him for months now. See - someone's gotta step up and be a parent, and be there, and take the responsibility! That's me. That's me. It's weird though, I mean, I'm not used to this whole "fatherhood" thing, keeping a living thing alive. It's weird." ~ 2h 31m

Fit says he thinks he and Spreen will be a good parenting pair if Spreen comes back. But he's glad the child is doing well right now. ~ 2h 36m

Not related to Fit and Ramon, but these are some other funny moments:

Fit gets kicked for "flying" (he was jumping off a tall tower, but manages to clutch it) ~ 2h 43m

Fit meets JuanaFlippa! ~3h 12m

Slimecicle gives JuanaFlippa a landmine. ~ 3h 21m

#i talk #qsmp talk #sharing these things since it's been almost a year and I'm sure some people have forgotten / never saw this (like me)#it's interesting #Fit #FitMC #Ramon #qsmp info #QSMP analysis

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bonny-kookoo · 3 months

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Jungkook

𝐒𝐞𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝐀𝐧𝐱𝐢𝐞𝐭𝐲 | Part 25

Will you still love him?

Tags/Warnings: Game Designer!Jungkook, Brat Tamer!Jungkook, kinda himbo!Jungkook, Non Idol AU, established relationship, fluff, Chaotic energy, SFW

Length: 1k words

Callob with @euphoricfilter ! 💜

-> Masterlist

♥━━━━━━━━━━•.♡.•━━━━━━━━━━━━♥

You’ve got his head in your lap, fingers combing through his hair, while you both watch a random episode of true-crime on the TV, large tub of icecream long finished on the coffee table.

“Hey babe?” Jungkook asks, watching the interrogation on the TV while your hand stops for a second, as you look down, showing that he’s got your attention. “Would you still love me if I was bald?” He wonders, thought probably stemming from the fact that one of the people on the TV is bald, and you’ve noticed how shiny that man’s head was.

“Uh..” You say, caught off guard. “Yeah. Yeah, I would.” You answer, and he grins to himself, adjusting his position on the couch a little as he continues watching. “Why, do you want me to shave your head?” You joke, turning your attention back to the TV- when you notice his silence.

“..I mean, would you?” He asks, now looking back up at you. You’re scanning his face for a second, and comb through your thoughts to make sure he’s not drunk or high on anything, before you come to the conclusion that yes, he’s perfectly sane and sober, and this is not just a random thought blurting out of his mouth.

To be fair, he’s been nagging you about his hair for months now, after having bleached and colored it every week it felt like, leaving it dry and damaged when he went back to black. It’s almost grown out by now, but he’s an impatient person- having mentioned often how he’d like to just ‘chop it all off at least once’ to have a fresh start.

“I would.” You shrug because of that, answering his question, and making him freeze for a moment as he seems to think, making his decision internally-

Before he suddenly jumps up, sitting straight up on the couch. “Alright, I’ll get the scissors-” He says as he runs off, socked feet slipping a little on the floor as he rushes into the bathroom, slapping the lightswitch to turn it on.

“Wait, are you serious?” You call out, not having thought he’d want to do it, well, right now, since it’s two in the morning- but as he pokes his head out the door, it’s clear that he wants it done now or never.

“I am, and now you’ll have to do it-” He calls back, rummaging through the drawers to find the hair scissors. “-And you have to love me afterwards when I’m bald or you’re a dirty liar!” He challenges, making you laugh as you pause the episode on the TV, joining him in the bathroom where he happily offers the scissors to you.

“You really want me to chop it all off?” You wonder. “It looks fine to me..” You say, running your fingers through his hair- but he nods.

“I don’t want to be like.. Shiny egg-head bald.” He describes, taking the scissors from you to boldly snip off the first long piece of hair, making it fall into the sink in front of the mirror. “But.. I don’t know.”

“Like a Kiwi, maybe?” You say, and he chirps up at that, snapping his fingers with a grin on his face.

“Exactly- Baby you know me so well it’s actually creepy sometimes.” He says, chopping away what he can reach, before you take over, carefully shortening his hair so that the clippers can run through it all more easily later. “Can I..” He asks, and you notice some odd look on his face, before he continues speaking, as you focus more on your task again. “What do you.. Love about me?” He wonders, and you can’t help but smile.

“How bold you are.” You instantly say. “You know.. Remember when we first started dating? I was so shy.” You remind him, and he smiles fondly, thinking back on it. “But because of you I became confident. I became comfortable with myself, and I now know that no matter how stupid I think my thoughts are, I can tell them to you, and you’ll take them seriously.” You explain yourself. “You’re like.. My best friend who I’m dating too.” You shrug, finishing up your work with the scissors, before you look in the mirror to find his face again. “Oh kook, baby, why’re you crying?!” You laugh, making him laugh too with his glossy eyes.

“You could’ve just complimented my dick, babe, why do you have to confess all over again?!” He whines, while you grin, taking the electric clippers into your hand.

“Alright Kook, last chance to back out.” You playfully threaten, turning the clippers on.

But he just seems to buzz as well, nodding with a serious expression. “Do it.” He commands, and you comply, tunning the clippers over his scalp after making sure it’s set to the appropriate length. The entire process doesn’t even take all that long, hair falling down to the floor to be swept up and discarded later, room quiet except for the buzzing of the little machine in your hand, as you make sure to do a good job.

One you’re done, you both make sure to clean everything up, his head in your lap again only an hour later, Episode on the TV resumed as you watch the interrogation continue, your hand running over his head, hairs now short, revealing the natural shape of his head. You suddenly get an idea- running into the kitchen to search for something, before you return to the couch, where he now sits. You put something on his head he can’t see, before you take a picture, and show it to him, laughing already-

And at the sight of it, he laughs too, as he spots the small sticker from the kiwis you’d bought yesterday on his head. “Hey babe?” He asks, and you hum, sitting down next to him on the couch once more, locking your phone before you put it on the coffee table again. “Do you still love me?” He asks, and you giggle, pressing a kiss to his lips.

“You could be shiny egg-head bald, and I’d still love you.”

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ystrike1 · 2 months

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Devil On Top - By Bulma (3/10)

This is by far the worst writing I have seen in a long time. I don't think I've ever seen an author give up so completely. The story just veers away from the main couple, because they failed. Yup. The author gave up, because their yandere writing was that bad.

This could have been a really great comedy. It starts out pretty fun. Jacque is the devils only servant. He lives in the Devil Tower, which is smack in the middle of a Korean city. Nobody is afraid of the devil anymore, because he doesn't terrorize anyone.

He just mopes all day.

His lover. Jacque. Jacque lost his memory and now he just works as a servant.

Yes the devil is a strange one. Terius is very depressed. His elder brother found him lying on the ground, with ratty hair down to the floor. Terius lost someone very important to him. He's been waiting for that person.

Terius has been waiting for Jacque to remember him. He doesn't harass Jacque. He becomes too depressed to reach out at all eventually. He stays in his lonely bedroom, pressed up against the door. He listens to Jacque while he works, and he hopes that their love is true and Jacque will remember him.

He doesn't...so Terius rots in his sadness..

Then...he hears Jacque calling for him.

He goes downstairs and...

He finds Jacque cheating on him with a female tentacle demon.

He's heartbroken.

Jacque tries to explain. He didn’t want to mate with the female. She forced him. Jacque was literally crying out for help, but Terius doesn't listen.

Terius says they need to mate to save him from the poison and eggs the female injected into him. He's kinda not lying Jacque was poisoned....but then Terius just starts torturing him???

He accepts that his true love will never return....so he just starts abusing the attractive body he's been lusting over and missing???

Jacque loses all respect for Terius. He only stays out of fear. He hates sleeping with Terius and he no longer wants to work as a servant.

There's no....nothing???

The story of his tragic memory loss gets completely tossed aside???

Jacque utterly hates him now.

Terius puts a leash on him and its not even hot??? How do you mess up that badly???

Terius puts a leash on Jacque, because he fully intends to indulge after his years of loneliness. He barely lets Jacque out of his sight and there's nothing. No spark or moment of memory. Terius is just an asshole and Jacque is only afraid.

The worst part is you can tell that these two characters were SUPPOSED to reconnect and have a somewhat comedic relationship. In the beginning Jacque is often enamored by Terius's beauty and he naively believes that mating will save him from the poison.

Then by chapter ten the reviews were in.

It seems like Terius was such a universally hated love interest that....well it killed the story. The author ended it.

There's this big, symbolic scene where Terius is holding onto a little fish underwater. One he claims to love and adore. Then a shadowy version of himself threatens that love. Then he just wakes up and abuses Jacque like usual.

Then...Jacque falls off the top of the Demon Tower and Terius basically vanishes from the story.

Jacque has an **** with a bunch of fat bald guys.....I'm serious...

The author had plenty of opportunities to make this decent. Please, authors of the world, if you are not a fan of yandere content DO NOT MAKE IT. Yes, yandere stories are popular now. But, come on. If that particular kink disgusts you that lack of passion will show in your work. I have no doubt that this author made zero dollars off of this travesty, and it was a waste of time for everyone involved. Including the readers!

This is just insulting.

#yandere #male yandere #yandere male #yandere boy #recommendations #recs #rec #recommended #webtoon #yaoi #Devil On Top

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afloofwithmultipleinterests · 1 year

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🔆 Opposite Day! ☽

A Security Breach tickle fic, featuring the Daycare Attendant(s) Sun, and Moon! (Both boys get equal amounts of Wrecking or your money back-)

As a result of a crappy visit to parts and services, Sun finds Moon has a new sunny accessory around his faceplate and the daytime counterpart is far from satisfactory. However, when Moon goes to do repairs, those new ray sensors decide to make themselves known, and not in the way that was expected.

Thank you @coy-lee and @laughterfixs for helping me edit this fic! 😁 I appreciated the help, and as much as I would deny, the high pitched screeching that came out of our editing method 🤣

Anyone that comes across this fic should like, totally check out their shit. They make some MMMMMMMMMM!!! GOOD SHIIT!! Anyway, with that said enjoy!☺️

Sun's rays were gone. No joke, the now bald animatronic looked like a McDonald's egg patty. The other day, the Daycare Attendant(s) took a trip to parts and service for a tiny upgrade to their sensory system, and a little adjustment to their mobility settings. Everything seemed spick and span coming back from parts and services the day before- so, how come he isn't now? Oh how he and Moon HATED to go to parts and services... They seemed to do more damage than help.

Sun huffed, hooking the lunar-wire to his back to pull themselves up to their room. Typical matentience staff. He entered the room inward from the balcony, a close up view of trash cluttering the floor, and children's drawings painting the walls. They were going to have to solve this problem on their own, like always. Crawling into the dark depths of Moon's room. The daytime bot shifted control to the naptime animatronic. Moon had fixed them before using other bots, so maybe he could find a way to reactivate his-

Oh. ...

There they were.

His vision froze on the mirror in his half of the storage room, possibly more confused than Sun in the moment. Moon tried moving the rays, much to his shock that he could move each individually, or all together if he wanted to. This was to his brother's annoyance, as the security bot began to play with them by making himself look like a cat, or axolotl, even a pokemon by stretching the top two rays out as far as they could go!

"Well that is... peculiar..." he stated in a nonchalant fashion.

Peculiar? Those were HIS RAYS! This was more than just peculiar, this was DISTURBING!

"Oh don't be so dramatic Sunny... it's not THAT bad~ I think I like this new look."

Moon posed like a geek in the mirror, flaunting his new rays in various positions like a model. He looked absolutely ridiculous! Sun's rays didn't even match him.

Moon chuckled at Sun's party-pooper mindset, deciding to give one last pose in the mirror by imitating Sun's side of their statue.

'Haha... really funny Moon.'

"Hehehah... I'm glad you think so! I think it's hilarious~"

After his obnoxious laughter stopped, Moon decided to focus on the task at hand:

Fixing this.

Moon jingled his way over to a lone, deactivated security bot to pry it open and steal away some lone wires, connectors, sensory chips, even a couple of servos. Taking the new repair supplies with him, Moon kicked open a loose plank among the closet floor to reveal stolen parts and service equipment.

Sun really doesn't like knowing this stolen staff equipment was here, but... this was really their only resolution. Moon has since cut off their hidden security camera from seeing the surplus of tools, otherwise they would have probably visited the shock conditioning chamber again.

"Don't be nervous," the lunar bot soothed, "I'm not going to hurt us. This is a minor fix. First I need to examine how exactly this happened."

Moon's fingers lightly excavated the rays. Even though he could move them, he for some reason couldn't feel them... how odd. Involuntary movement arose from the tiny triangles as he lightly measured the edges of them from bottom to top inbetween his index finger and thumb.

Sun gasped inside of his head at the foreign sensation, doing all he could to try and retract his rays, but they wouldn't budge.

"Is something wrong Sunny? It doesn't hurt, does it?"

Moon wanted to be extra careful with his opposites rays. They were the equivalent to hair with nerve-endings, or a less gross example being the inside of a human ear.

'N-no! It doesn't... just- be-Ee Carefuhul…'

His brother's thumb had feathered over the center of his sunrays... It was terribly ticklish- but, he had to stay quiet. Moon didn't know he was sensitive in THAT way on this area... If he did, he wouldn't hear the end of it.

Moon warily accepted the warbled answer, his finger now venturing to the back of their faceplate. Everything felt in order back there... Dangit! If only he had a mirror.

'Actually-'

Moon froze at the sound of Sun's thoughts overlapping his own.

Surely if Sun had a physical body, he would be fidgeting with his fingers.

'I have a mirror. It's just… hidden.'

Moon cocked his head with confusion at the response.

"Where?"

The two then played a little game of 'hot-cold' until Moon came across a tiny, dirty carpet.

'hot HOT! BURNING!!! AAAAAHHHHHH!!!!'

Moon burst into giggly hiccups, raspy and Disney villain sounding. Their antics truly made his smile grow wider, even on the cloudiest of days. The lunar animatronic lifted the carpet to find a rather gruesome looking hole, wood splintered all around it in the shape of a foot.

'There was a... happy little accident that happened a while back when I was dancing. So much so, I kiiiinda decided to use it to keep things in like you do with that plank!'

Sun, the rule follower, the rule stickler, the anxious little Golden retriever that stuck to his programming... he STOLE things??

... Moon was so proud!

Sun was finally growing a backbone to scavenge!

What mainly decorated the hidden section were supplies intended for childcare purposes... also a purse.

"Seems you're more of a thief than I am!" Moon chuckled, rummaging through the compartment, placing his hands on the handheld mirror inside.

'I wouldn't go that far.. I merely like to have supplies management refuses to give us.'

"Oh, you mean like some parent's purse you stole? They still have their wallet in here!"

'.... I'm done talking now.'

"PFFFT-"

Moon snickered over his friend's grumpy nature, covering the hole back up with the rug and skittering back to the mirror in his room.

He held the mirror behind his faceplate before flipping one specific nerve ending switch ontop of their head.

"There. Our faceplate and your sun rays have the pain receptors turned off... Let's see..."

Moon took the back hatch off of their faceplate to see where the error was.

Aha, the orange and blue wires.

The orange wires intended for sun's rays were plugged into the activation port for his hat hatch... speaking of which- he realized he wasn't WEARING his hat at all... did that mean Sun-?

Nope. Sun didn't have his hat today... He guessed that maybe maintenance didn't properly plug the hat turning system after the upgrades, nor pushed in the stability settings for transitioning. While reaching for the plug, the long ribbon around Moon's wrist SLOWLY feathered across three of Sun's rays. It took him by surprise, so he couldn't stop his reaction.

'OHOHOMY GOODNEHESS-'

The animatronic stopped in his tracks, a bewildered look replacing the neutral one from before. Now that was straaaaange..

'N-No it wasn't! You just need to get back to the task at HaahahnnhnnhnhnnNHNND!? EEEEK!!'

Moon's hands had since traveled from the back of their faceplate to feel over two of Sun's rays.

"Such a peculiar reaction Sunny... I'm certain something may be wrong with your rays... Seems I might need to Investigate further."

Investigate? Uh oh...

'You really don't need to do this, it's probAHAHABLY NYAHAHA!!'

Moon drew a continuous spiral on one of them, while scratching at the other like a lottery card.

"You seem very happy brother~ Whatever could be soooooo funny, hm?" The lunar animatronic teased as the rays attempted to cha-cha away from his fluttering digits.

'OHOHO- NoOhohothing! NOHoTHing at ahall!!"

Moons fingers stopped for a moment to trace the edges of each ray starting from the bottom.

"Oh? It doesn't sound like nothing little star... my my my... you couldn't be-"

Moon got to the top two rays, and began to skitter his fingers quickly behind them.

"Tickle-tickle, tiiiicklish here? Could you?"

'SQUEAAAAHH!! Yohou MEheahHeaANIE! yohuhuu jeherrkyJEHERKjeEeherk!!'

"JerkyJerkjerk? Oh goodness, Sunny. I'm Offended. Maybe I should teach you a lesson... hehe..."

Moon smirked in the mirror as he began to spin Sun's rays in a circle.

'Wh... whahat are you doing!?'

The animatronic wiggled his fingers, continuously staring in the mirror so sun could see his demise. The moving digits moved closer until-

🎶"The rays on the sun went round' and round'~" 🎶

He began to sing the tune to wheels on the bus while tickling the life out of Sun's ultra sensitive rays.

'MYAHAHAYAAAA!! QUHIHIT IT!!'

🎶"Round' and round', "🎶

Ontop of his rays.. Skitter skitter, itch itch, wiggle wiggle~

🎶"Round' and round'!"🎶

'AHAHAAHA IHIHIT TIHICKLES TOO MUHUCH!!'

🎶"The Rays on the Sun went round and round'~"🎶

Behind his rays.. Skitter, scritch, skitter skitter, wiggle-

'EHEHEEEEHAHAHAAAA!! YOUHO BUTT!!'

"🎶All through the day~!🎶 Ooh- more name calling? That means another verse is in order!"

'NohHOuuHuHUhu!!! MOHOHOONIE NOHO!!'

The lunar attendant changed things up a bit by making the rays retract, and eject while spinning.

🎶 "the rays on the sun went in and out~" 🎶

Moon used all of his fingers, targeting specific rays that had retracted, waiting for them to pop out in order to tickle them again.

Pop! Wiggle-wiggle wiggle~

Pop! Skitter-skitter skit~

Pop! Tickle-tickle tickle~

'AHAHAHAAAA!! IHIM WAHARNING YOUOHO!! Yohou BEHETTER STAHAP!!'

Moon could sense that Sun was actually having a lot of fun through their thin, invisible mental wall, so he decided to crank it up a little.

"🎶In and out~ in and out!~🎶 or what, give me a headache? You can't touch me~!"

Gitchygitchygitchy, itchy itchy, tingly tickles spread everywhere after Sun's threat, and the teasy song didn't help

' MWAHAHAAAA!! WEHE'LL SEEEHEHEEE!! EhAhahAaa!!'

🎶"The rays on the sun went in and out~ all through the day!"🎶

It was instantaneous when the power seemingly went out in Moon's arms. Great, another problem that he now physically couldn't fix.. maybe he would have to go down to-

As soon as Moon looked down, he immediately noticed a change in his arms...

"Yellow?" He asked aloud, extremely confused… that is until he realized.

They weren't HIS arms anymore...they were-

Sun's.

The yellow hands cracked their fingers and knuckles as a huffing, wheezing Sun voice inside of Moon's head starting to laugh without mirth.

'Heheheaha... ihi... I warned you~'

It turned out Sun's theory was correct earlier about the light sensors being breachable due to plug inactivity.. now to get some MUCH needed revenge.

The yellow limbs began to lightly trace over Moon's torso, making him squeak and sputter.

"Wahait!! I- We can tahalk about this Sunny!"

'Talk? You mean like how you tickled me to speechlessness? Sure, we can do that!~'

Moon let out a squeal as the digits dusted over his ribs, fluttered under his arms into his wires, feathered over his neck, traced over the edge of the moon crescent of his fa-

"SQUEAA!!" Moon screeched as Sun traced over the lower section of the crescent that would be considered his 'jaw'. Sun stilled at the reaction, baffled at the energy that erupted from seemingly nowhere. Moon felt Sun's sinister intentions bubble inside of their processor. The previous attacker grew nervous at the silence and the lack of movement from Sun's arms

"I-I uh-" Before Moon could say anything, Sun attacked. One hand flew to Moon's sensitive little tummy as the other danced over his jawline, drawing spirals in the moon crescent's craters like Moon did on Sun's rays earlier.

"SQUEAAAAAHEAHEAAAA!! EHEHEHEHE! -HIC-! ahahAhahahahAHAH!!" The sensation was overbearing!

Sun was used to tickling. Sun got to play with the kids all the time... however, since Moon was naptime duty on main, he hasn't built up quite the sensor tolerance Sun has, nor the fan speed.

Sun's left hand rapidly scrunched against the middle of Moon's tummy, barely touching his dent... OH how ticklish it felt- he never thought his tummy could feel so tingly.

"IHIHIT- EHEHEHEEEE! SUHUHUNNY- PLEHEHAhahaAh!!"

'Please? You're gonna have to specify! Did you mean please go faster? Do these tickles make you happy moon? Do they? Do they? Awww of coooourse they do!~ Why else would you be so giddy?'

With that, Sun sped the tickling up on the poor little tummy and ticklish little craters.

"OHOHOHO NOHOHO!! NAUGHAHAUGHYTY THIHING!! NauAHAHAUAHTY- NAUGAHATYHEHE! NYAHAHAAHAAA!!"

'Gitchygitchygitch! Oho tickle tickle little Moonshine~'

Sun's voice echoed in sickeningly sweet baby talk.

'Is the tiny, little astronaut that ticklish to you? Hm?? Them walking allll over your tummy, and face? Over your cute little craters?'

The left yellow hand began to mimic walking motions, wiggling each 'foot' into his moon plate with each step, circling and tickling in each tiny crater he could find.

"EHEHAKAKA!!" The lightswitch- he NEEDED to get to the light switch.

Sun inwardly gasped, beginning to tickle more skillfully instead of playful skitters as Moon's plan echoed through their mind. Not only did the solar animatronic have a lot of tolerance, but he also had a lot of experience giving tickles out, especially to adults as per his playful and teasy nature.

The nighttime animatronic sputtered and spat chortle to cackle as the hands began to travel. His ribs, his hips, even seeing the sensitivity of the little buttons on his chest, his neck.

And. It. Tickled. HORRIBLY.

Moon could barely keep himself up in these circumstances. His legs felt like jello, yet somehow, some way, Moon managed to make it over to the lightswitch.

'Ah ah ah! Not so fast~'

Moon was forced downward, sun's arms somehow pulling the rest of his body away from the lightswitch and to his ankles. Upon this the devilish yellow fingers inched around his ankles, and heels, tracing eights and infinity signs all over to throw him off. Moon screeched as his 'Achilles heel-s' were discovered. The animatronic couldn't move an inch from this terribly ticklish situation as both hands held his ankles captive. It was when the hands forced his foot up did he lose balance. The naptime attendant fell on his butt, his shoed feet at the very mercy of his brother.

'Let's seee~ what's behind curtain number one?!'

The first shoe came off, revealing the foot underneath. Moon's feet were much like his hands, accept it had sensory cushioning on the bottoms to prevent finger crushing. The yellow digits lightly traced the sensory pad, and under moon's toes before coming back to the top of his foot.

"KEEEEHEHEHAHAHA- NAHAT THE FEET SUHUHUN- NOHO-"

'Not the feet? Not the feet? Is it possible they're terrrribly sensitive to kitchies? Hmmmm?'

KITCHIES!?

Sun lightly scrunched over the top of the revealed foot before pulling the other slipper off.

Moon wiggled his toes as his brother traced lines all around the tops of his feet, paying attention to the tippy top of the little beans.

Snorting, Moon quickly tried to think of a plan through his laughter and Sun's teasing... AHA!

He wouldn't think what the plan was but he was going to do it.

'Do it if you dare~ I'll get at the bottoms of your feet if you try anything funny moon…'

Funny? Why would he try anything funny? He was the least funny person he kn-

Suddenly, Moon's hat projectile launched from the top of ther faceplate and upward at the lightswitch, leaving Sun to gasp internally.

‘You sneaky little rules twister- that's it!’

Just as Sun began to mercilessly skitter everywhere on the bottom of Moon's feet, the light switch had been flipped, turning the lights on.

His arms are now on the outside of Sun's body...

Oh... this was going to be fun~

"I uh-"

Before Sun could even come up with something to say, Moon's fingers flicked and fluttered vigorously around Sun's Tummy and ribs, even under his arms at one point.

"OHOHO MY STAAAHAHAHAAARS!! NYAHAHAAHAAA- MOOOHOHOOOON!"

'Paybaaaack~'

"Paybahahack!? YOUHOU'RE THEHE ONE WHOHO STAHAHRTED-"

bam the wires.

"AAAAAHAHAHAA- OHOHOKAY! OKAHAHAY! MEHEHERCY!! I PLEHEHEAD THE FIHIHITH!!"

As soon as the words left Sun's mouth, Moon stopped.

The conjoined animatronic twins turned on their internal fans, cooling their shared system as they lay on the floor.

Sun airily laughed the rest of his giggles out, eventually calming down.

"Hehe..aha.."

'Did you have fun?' Moon asked as their system returned back to its normal heating stats.

"... Maybe."

'Hehehe~ thought so!'

After a moment, Sun wobbled to his feet regaining his balance to step to the lightswitch again. Moon gave his brother the ability to swap their limbs again, so when they turned the lights off again, he would be able to fix them.

The lights turned off with a swift flick, changing Moon back into himself again, as bald and shiny headed as king Neptune without his crown. His hat was laying on the floor, but he'd pick that up later.

Without hesitation, he traversed back to the mirror again to fix the wires.

… were they that tangled before?

Perhaps Moon and Sun's ticklish scuffle tangled the wires up more than they were… their back faceplate cover was off during it.

"... well this will be difficult."

'HEY- uh… actually… what if we just… didn't fix it?'

Moon smirked at that, his attention fully on his brother now, that of which Sun felt. A bit nervous, he continued.

'I mean- if I'm able to swap your limbs out for mine… w-we can just… I don't know… keep that feature?'

That sounded like a fun little quirk… especially if they wanted to do something like this again.

"You know… that's not a bad idea. Who would really notice anyway?"

And from then on… nobody really did. Well- not except for when laughter could be heard coming from the fazbear theatre.. but Sun and Moon publically chocked it up to daycare antics rather than any insinuated malfunction if an employee were to ask.

Yet another secret well hidden by the mystery(ies) that was(ere) the Daycare Attendant(s).

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mulletmitsuya · 2 years

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Toman groupchat

Warnings: REALLY suggestive, swearing, mentions of drugs, lots of pubes, sorry in advance, mentions of balls. again, my bad

Desc: just typical teenage boys having typical normal converstions☺

Baji: pubes or no pubes?

Mikey: I have them yes

Chifuyu: me too

Draken: what

Kazutora: huh

Mitsuya: context?

Baji: oh my bad

Baji: bout to meet up with someone so i was wondering if i should shave or go bald

Smiley: we way too comfortable in this groupchat

Mikey: ?

Mikey: why tf would we know this

Kazutora: yeah we're virgins

Mikey: i didn't mean it like that😐

Kazutora: ...are you....not a virgin

Mikey: pffft no

Mikey: everyone wants me

Mikey: so they shall receive

Mitsuya: sounds like something a virgin would say

Mikey: shut up Mitsuya you're gay

Mitsuya: and you're a virgin

Baji: so you guys aren't gonna help me

Draken: dude we don't fucking know

Kazutora: all i'm saying is, no one wants to lick a lollipop that's fallen on a carpet

Mitsuya: ew????

Smiley: can we not

Baji: no Tora's right

Chifuyu: but your hair's so silky Baji-san

Chifuyu: i say keep it as long as it's neat

Draken: guys can we NOT😐

Baji: my hair IS beautiful and silky🤔

Mikey: your pubes too??

Baji: duh

Mitsuya: Baji who are you even meeting up with

Baji: some dude from grindr

Mikey: WHY R U ON GRINDR LMAO😭

Baji: yeah lol

Baji: crazy how many people i know are there

Baji: like Mitsuya

Draken: FR????? ARE U SERIOUS

Mitsuya: oh yeah lmao

Mitsuya: it was from when i'd just turned 18

Baji: when you were young and fresh

Mitsuya: I'm 19😐

Draken: telling Hakkai btw

Mitsuya: what's the reason

Draken: cause you're dating???

Mitsuya: i just forgot to delete my profile, chill🙄

Draken: explain that to him then

Baji: this was about me, btw

Baji: fuck it i'll shave

Baji: it's just really hard to get in between

Draken: try wax strips

Baji: and rip my balls off🤨??? no thanks

Draken: fuck you then

Chifuyu: use hair removing cream

Baji: burned the shit outta me last time cause i fell asleep

Baji: my asscheek were bright red

Kazutora: why were you...

Kazutora: nvm

Mikey: 💀

Draken: aren't you suppose to be shaving

Baji: i'm typing with my toes

Smiley: i don't like that

Baji: cry about it

Smiley: WEEEEEHHH 😭😭😭😭

Smiley: WAAAAAH 😖😖

Smiley: WAAAAHHEH *sniff* EHHHHHHH😰

Smiley: sorry i'm high as hell rn

Smiley: Angry lied and said it was weed

Smiley: i haven't blinked in 4 hours

Mitsuya: what was it💀

Smiley: crack

Smiley: continue

Baji: ANYWAY

Baji: it's sad that i have to resort to grindr when i have two fertile best friends

Mikey: AYO??😭

Draken: DUDE CHILL

Chifuyu: 😧

Mitsuya: too comfortable, as Smiley said

Kazutora: who you calling fertile🤨

Baji: you are so babygirl

Draken: touch some ass please

Baji: see Draken gets it

Draken: *grass

Mikey: too late

Baji: guys exfoliation does wonders

Baji: anyway, my balls are as smooth as freshly boiled eggs❗bye guys

Mikey: ....

Mikey: ...why would he say that

#so sorry for this one #tokyo revengers #tokyo revengers manga #tokrev manga #tokrev #tokyo revengers groupchat #tokyo revengers texts #tokyo revengers smau #sano manjiro/mikey #ryuguji ken/draken #baji keisuke #kazutora hanemiya #matsuno chifuyu #mitsuya takashi #kawata nahoya/smiley #mitsukkai #bajikazufuyu #the manga is depressing me so i had some silly little thoughts to make myself feel better #as you can see i'm failing

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snitchesnsneeds · 26 days

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Bethany's Bizarre Miraculous Reviews Episodes 3-25 and 3-26: Heart Hunter and Miracle Queen

So, this is it. Goodbye, Chloe.

You ever think about how weird it is that Miraculous season 3 still uses the season 2 opening despite all the new heroes and kwamis introduced? We got to see 6 more Miraculouses here out of the 12 of the Chinese Zodiac.

So that's where pizzaboy Luka came from! Seems to be a delivery boy more than anything.

Yes! Luka! And hopefully Lukanette!

pfffft Gabriel really busted out the "Our get along shirt"

Yes! Kagami and Adrien having friendly interactions with Marinette!

Andre needs to divorce his garbage heap of a wife. Does he know about the affair?

Yes! Kagami and Adrien spending happy time with eachother!

Yes! Silly Kagami and the three having mischevious antics!

Ooh, the ballpit pool as well! The three of them are so cute and fun together. Now all we need is Luka and we'll have the superior love square! One that's actually a square as well!

Kagami might have feelings for Marinette too?! Whoopee!

Marinette with her hair down is peak.

The Evil Egg that Eats Everyone

So the ice cream guy isn't really polyamorous, but just concerned about having too many flavors? I mean, peppermint and orange kinda sounds like toothpaste and orange juice, but searching it up there are people who think otherwise,

Marinette letting Adrien and Kagami be happy together. Yippee!

Master Fu's monologue really went back to normal halfway through, huh?

Steals your girlfriend

And there it is. Honestly it's less of a jape and more of a downward spiral. Chloe wants to help in deakumatizing her parents, Ladybug broke her own rules by bringing back Ryuko when Hawkmoth knows her identity as much as Queen Bee's, and paralysis being a better fit for this fight than Logias. Girl felt abandoned by her crush, and Hawkmoth only manipulated her in person because he couldn't do it with an akuma, as well as it giving her the special treatment she craved.

And the superior ships fall into place.

The bees actually stinging people wasn't in the budget?

Now that's what I call a hive mind!

Oooh, and the moth's back as well!

I'm glad the water voices aren't back. Oh yeah. A lot of stuff's coming back. This really is a season finale!

Love me a good boss rush!

Again with the baldness.

And yet, Ladybug tries to get Chloe back on her side. What an angel.

Pfft she's really putting on everything

And there's Chloe's villain meltdown. Ladybug didn't even tell her she couldn't be Queen Bee anymore. Chloe broke ties with Ladybug on her own.

Why and how are they in love again? One's a karen and the other's a pushover.

mmmm, crumbs of Julerose.

And so we get Lukanette and Adrigami. They should've stuck with these ships and abandoned the love square, but no. Not even for one measly episode.

It's been said a bajillion times before, but it's weird how Miraculous says a grown adult terrorist with too much beef with two 14-year-olds can be redeemed but a 14-year-old with blatant issues is irredeemable and the scum of the earth. Admittedly this wasn't as bad as expected. I know the first two episodes of season 4 are going to make this look like paradise. So much disrespect. I'm probably going to watch the two specials in this season, and move on to rereading that fic I decided I still love and take a long hiatus to review a different Franime series. One I've known for much longer, and feel much fonder about as well.

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artemis-moon101 · 1 year

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Qsmp Egg headcanon designs because I need to put them somewhere before I draw

Young dragons are adaptive shapeshifters so they grow similar traits to who they are around, mostly who they imprinted on (their parents)

Tilín had black hair like her father, with a few yellow feathers here and there. Their hair is a bit longer than his however, so she tied it up with a ribbon that Quackity now wears around his wing. She has small black freckles on her cheeks, ears, and some on her arms. Other than that he looks like the dragon-human hybrid she was when she was born. Her eyes were dark brown with hints on red in the right one and hints of blue in the left

Trump looks just like he did when he was born, bright blue eyes and a spinny hat.

Bobby has dark brown hair like both of his parents. He has a few blue and green feathers in his hair like his mother, and paint splatters all over his overalls and hair. His tail is thick and his wings are small and thin.

Leonarda/Leonardo (Going to use Leo for this) has dark hair and purple eyes like Vegetta. Leo’s scales are mostly dark blue, with some gold hints. He has a shark fin and his wing memberanes and light grey-blue. His tail also ends in a shark fin

Tallulah has dragon-like wings, but they are growing white and grey feathers like her father. She also has diamond shapes on her wings and bright cyan eyes from spending so much time with phil. And for some reason, Wilbur keeps finding small yellow feathers in her wings. I wonder where they came from.

Chayanne has similar wings to Tallulah from being around her for so long, but most of his feathers are black. His eyes are bright cyan. He has a skull marking on his face. For some reason he developed an under-bite with large lower canines, and pink streaks in his mostly yellow hair, but Phil doesn't know where he might have gotten it.

Ramón is near bald, but he has black bear ears and a little bit of hair. He also wears a fake mustache. His wing membranes are a diluted purple and his tail is thin. His eyes are hazel.

Dapper’s scales are near pitch black, and his eyes are a really light grey. His horns go straight up and turn a bit inwards. Like his dad, his tail is thin and has a arrow tip.

Juanaflippa had hair similar in color to Charlie’s, with black highlights. She had two pigtails kept together with slime scrunchies, her hair also had globs of slime in it. Her scales were dark grey-green and. Her wing membranes and eyes were bright green. There were freckles across her face, and a few on her arms, similar to her cousin Tilín. Her rash is visible on her neck and left cheek, and it goes down into her shirt. She has a trans pin on her shirt and a holster with her Glock and trans flag in it.

#qsmp #qsmp eggs #qsmp headcanons #qsmp tilín #qsmp tallulah #qsmp chayanne #qsmp juanaflippa #qsmp bobby #qsmp ramón #qsmp trump #qsmp dapper #qsmp leonarda #qsmp leonardo

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oceandeviancy · 2 years

Text

“Accidental” Twitch Kisses (BadBoyHalo x Male Reader)

Title: “Accidental” Twitch Kisses

Pairing: BadBoyHalo x Male Reader

Originally Posted: Wattpad, 2019

Scenario: You are streaming Minecraft and beat him at a game. Well, he says it was an accident.

---

You laughed loudly as Darryl's Minecraft character fell off the map in a game of Sky Wars. He loves to boast about how he's the best at PvP and Bed Wars, and Sky Wars, and weirdly Tic Tac Toe, which takes no skill.

"I’m good at this game!” you yelled, laughing at the same time.

"You're cheating! You have mod or something" he yelled back with the saltiest tone.

You couldn't stop laughing and face palmed. He's accused Zak, Skeppy, of cheating multiple times in various games on Hypixel by saying he had mod. You didn't even have YouTube rank so how could he expect you to have mod?

He was recording a video while you were streaming on Twitch. It was a lot funnier to stream on Twitch playing Minecraft for some reason.

"You're just salty that I'm better than you" You said, as you killed the last player and won the game, "See, Technoblade neva dies! Oh wrong channel."

You reinvited Darryl to the party as he rage quit Hypixel. It was quite cute every time he'd say oh my goodness or anything salty for that matter. Like now, he's shouting at his stream to stop spamming the Japanese symbol for beginner and 14 and McDonald's cheesy fries.

Entering another game, you were prepared to make it be the two of you left in the game.

Once your character dropped to your island, you quickly ran to the two chests and took the wooden planks, the iron and diamond armor, ender pearls, and eggs from them. You waited for 15 seconds as two people quickly died from PvP and falling off the map.

"I'm coming for you CryBoyHalo!" You said, letting out an evil laugh.

"I'm getting bullied by my stream and now you. I have every right to be sad"

You hear him frantically clicking as he fought another player. He let out a loud sigh as the other was killed. You laughed a little as you looted the middle chests of potions and diamond swords.

"Where are you Bad?" You said in a sing songs voice.

You called him Darryl in real life but called him Bad during streams because then it wouldn't be awkward. BadBoyHalo and (U/N) were just online personas and that's how you two liked it.

Your fanbases knew you lived in the same house as roommates and many people shipped you two together. You dismissed the ideas and joked around about it but just said you weren't dating. It wasn't a complete lie. You and Darryl weren't a couple but the feelings were there and you were just afraid to do anything about it.

The last few players died, and Darryl was laughing as he was going insane. He was in a tough PvP against a player with a lot of armor and other gear.

It left the two of you.

"Oh my goodness" Darryl sighed as he saw who he was up against, "I don't want to go against you. I don't want to lose to a muffin like you."

"Oh so you're admitting that you're going to lose, okay!"

You scan the middle island for him and don't see him.

Well shit, where was he?

He ender pearled behind you and started to hit you. Quickly, you ender pearled a little farther and let your player consume a golden apple. You threw a splash of poison onto him as he started using a bow.

"A bow? Really?"

As he was about to respond, you brought him down to 1 heart, teased him by saying he was at 14 health and then used no weapon, just your fist, hit him once, and you won again.

"OH MY GOODNESS (Y/N)!!!"

"I win again." To make him even more salty, you began to sing, "BadBoyHalo is a potato. BadBoyHalo is a potato. BADBOYHALO IS A POTATO!"

"Shut up (Y/N)"

"Make me" you grinned towards the camera.

You used a webcam while Darryl didn't. He was a little self conscious about his looks and fans made it worse by the whole bald meme. He rarely would show his face on your stream but that was only if he really wanted to, otherwise he stayed in his room and either called through Teamspeak or yelled through the closed door.

"You cheated and have mod. Shut up, I won."

"Make me. You know I'm better than you at Sky Wars!" You teased again.

You could hear his groan through the wall as it was that loud. He slammed his headphone on his desk and stormed out of the room.

"Annnnnnnnnd he's gone! Okay! I, (U/N), am better than CryBoyHalo over there and--" you were cut off by him slamming the door open.

You jumped at how loud it was and you didn't expect him to come into your room while streaming. He NEVER did that.

He grabbed your shirt and pulled you towards him. As any other YouTuber, you had a chair with wheels causing the entire thing to move. Darryl leaned down and kissed you. It was both full of passion and anger because he's still so salty over the Sky Wars game.

Stunned, you didn't say anything, letting him kiss you on stream, with all (number of viewers to) watching everything.

He let go and walked back to his room like nothing ever happened.

Speechless, you just sat there, blushing so hard.

Darryl came back to the microphone and he said, "Did I miss anything?"

"Why did you just do that?" Was all you could say, leaning against your desk.

You didn't mind it at all, in fact, you wanted it but didn't expect it to actually happen.

"Oh it was an accident"

-User disconnected from Teamspeak

-Disconnect

-Quit Game

#badboyhalo #bbh #badboyhalo x male reader #bbh x male reader #mcyt #mcyt x male reader #x male reader #badboyhalo x reader #bbh x reader

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theoddcatlady · 6 months

Text

My Father Survived The Chair of Truth

I was the only one home when my father called me in for his death bed confession.

He wasn’t very old in the grand scheme of things, only fifty-eight, but after a violent mugging that took place about twenty years ago, his physical health hadn’t always been great. It really took a downhill turn last year. Heart failure. And it just wasn’t getting better.

My sister Amber and I were taking care of him as his health deteriorated. Last week though, Amber was running errands for our grandmother, so yeah. I was alone. When dad called for me I thought he might need a drink or help getting to the bathroom.

Instead, he told me to sit down. He told me I needed to know the truth, the truth about the mugging and about what really happened that night.

After all of this, he’d pass in his sleep a few hours later. I can’t ask for any more details. All I can do is relay this story to you… and find out how much truth there really is to it. Below is the confession, word for word.

~*~

You know, if your mother and I weren’t in the middle of our first separation, it may have never happened. I wouldn’t have been alone in bed that night. Alone in the house, since she took your older sister with her and you were still two months out from being born. That following morning I was found on the streets, all bloodied up, pockets turned out and missing my shoes. They concluded I had been mugged. I let them maintain that conclusion.

I hadn’t even left my house the night before. It was an early night, I was tired from work. I basically passed out on the couch while the TV was on. I don’t remember if anyone broke in, if I woke up before they abducted me.

The next thing I do remember? Waking up strapped to a chair, dressed in white scrubs with electrodes plastered on my now shaved head and sitting with a circle of people in the exact same condition.

I only recognized three of the other people there, and I only knew two of their names. One of my classmates from back when I was in high school was to my right, I barely recognized Magnolia since most of the blonde hair had been shaved right off. A few patches were still plastered to her scalp, whoever had taken the razor to our heads hadn’t been the most meticulous about it. Perhaps because they had a lot to get done before we woke up.

The other two I recognized was Augusta, an older woman who lived down the street from where I grew up, and the homeless man that I usually saw begging for cash in downtown was to my left. I didn’t know his name, I only recognized him because he’d been there every day.

There were eight of us in total. The woman right across from me had smeared lipstick and a cut on her forehead, maybe the razor had slipped during her head shave. Next to her was another woman with long fake fingernails and a natural scowl that was even there when she was unconscious, like she sucked on lemons in her spare time. The most conscious of us was a middle aged guy with a few more bruises than the rest of us, I imagine he put up a fight, he was a big dude. Finally there was this portly, smaller man who didn’t need his head shaved, since he was already bald as an egg.

Magnolia began breathing faster when she came to full consciousness, glancing around wildly and in full panic. “What the fu- where am I!? What’s going on!?” She yanked at the straps, which didn’t so much as budge. “Get these things off me?! Help! Someone help!”

The burly bruised guy shushed her loudly. “Quiet down. Don’t want to alert the wrong people we’re up,” He craned his neck around to look at the room around us, it was quite bare other than the circle of people strapped to heavy duty chairs- dark brick walls, a cement floor with a drain in the center. The only light was in the center of the ceiling, and that thing was set on to bright as it could go. Everyone looked a little washed out, a little pale, sickly.

The one thing I had missed was the speaker, attached to the wall right behind my head. It crackled to life before shrieking with feedback. This definitely got everyone awake, the portly fellow moaning and bitching the loudest while the woman with smeared lipstick being the only one perfectly quiet. Her eyes I remember the most, dark and careful. She was watching everyone in the room.

“Welcome, everyone.”

Once the feedback died down, the male voice coming from it was perfectly calm, smooth. It would’ve almost been soothing if the situation surrounding it wasn’t so bizarre.

“I am the Judge.”

I flexed against the bindings experimentally. There was no coming loose from them. I was stuck there, here for whatever this ‘Judge’ had planned.

“You sit in them now because you have all committed crimes. Crimes ranging from white lies to ones that may result in… capitol punishment.”

The scowling woman’s jaw dropped. “What do you mean, capitol punishment?”

“This is my court room. Where we are, no one will hear you scream. I advise you don’t cry out unless you can’t avoid it.” The Judge didn’t even take note of the interruption. “These are my Chairs of Truth. When we are finished, you will pay for what you’ve done. If you lie or talk your way around the truth, you will be punished. We will start with you, Connie.”

The scowling woman sputtered. “How dare you! I’m not a criminal! Do you know who I am?”

“Yes. Of course I do, Connie Andrews.” The Judge sounded almost… amused. “I know everything about you. Your first question is this: where do you go every Wednesday afternoon?”

“Are you for real?” Connie looked genuinely baffled.

“We are starting with an easy question. One that has minor effect on your life, legally or illegally. Where do you go every Wednesday afternoon?”

Connie looked relieved. “Um… I get my nails done,” Her fingers tapped on the arm of her chair. “What, is that a crime?”

“We’ll come back to that. Frankie? Can I call you Frankie, Frank Smith?”

The burly guy shifted in his chair. “You can,” He decided.

“Frank, during highschool, what was the extracurricular you and your wife participated in?”

“I was a football player, she was a cheerleader.” Frank cleared his throat. “And who are you?”

The Judge quietly chuckled. “I am not important. I am here only to fulfill judgment, officer,” He cleared his throat, “Onto the next. Augusta Armstrong? How many children do you have?”

My neighbor looked terrified, shaking in her chair like a scared Chihuahua. “I have five, they’re the light of my life. Please, please, let me go,” She whimpered.

“If you answer these questions, we can see about that. Charles Nolan?”

“When I get out of here, I’m going to sue you!” The man snapped, lurching in his chair. It didn’t so much as budge, it had been bolted to the floor.

“Charles, what is your occupation? No need for specifics, you like those, I’m aware.”

“Businessman, I work for-”

Charles suddenly breathed in sharply. I had to crane my neck around the homeless guy to see what had happened. I only caught the glimpse of what looked like a sewing needle exiting Charles’ arm and going back into the chair, a pinpoint of blood beading from his skin.

Fuck. I took a better look at the chair, which I’d only assumed was a heavy duty wooden chair. Now I saw there was holes all in it, some small enough for needles to come out and jab, others thin slats that looked large enough for daggers to come out and slice through us.

“When I say something, I advise you listen,” The judge explained patiently. “Harley Scott?”

The homeless man lifted his head up. I’d never heard his name before then. It was strange, finally putting a name to the face I’d seen so often. “Yes?” He said, barely louder than a whisper.

“Harley, what branch of the military were you in, and what was your rank?”

“A-army,” Harley swallowed, “Private.”

“Edward Adkins.”

I flinched when I heard my name.

“What is the date of your wedding anniversary?”

I actually had to think for a second. My mind was running blank.

“What is the date of your wedding anniversary? Don’t make me ask a third time.”

I swallowed the lump in my throat. “I- it’s June 6,” I managed to get out.

I felt genuine relief when he went on to Magnolia, asking what she did for some extra spending cash, and she responded that she was a babysitter. The final question was asked to the woman with smeared lipstick and careful eyes, and it asked where she lived. I don’t remember the exact address, but I know it was in a rough part of town. Part of town I’d never go, anyway.

The Judge sighed, sounding pleased with our cooperation. “Very good, so far, only one punishment had to be doled out,” He said.

“Oh go fuck yourself!” Charles snapped. This did get the needle jabbing back into his arm, right where the wound had just began to scab over.

“These questions are not going to get any easier. In fact, they will be harder. So learn to cooperate and answer truthfully now. It will save you later.”

I expected him to start going around the circle again. Instead, the voice surprised me.

“What is your occupation, Delilah?”

“Unem-” Delilah cut herself off, sighing. “I bet that’s not what you mean. Fine. Sex worker. Prostitute. Hooker. Whatever you want to call it. That what you wanted to hear?”

“Very well. Charles, how did your friend Rosemary Marshall make so much money from your company’s stock?

Charles shifted. “Good luck?” He tried to lie, so poorly though that no one was convinced.

I didn’t expect to hear the crackle of electricity and Charles’ eyes to bug out of his sockets, his teeth clamping so tight as his body jolted with electric current running through his veins. When he finally did manage to scream, he flopped back against his chair, screeching and howling at the top of his lungs. The room beforehand reeked of antiseptic, now I could detect a faint hint of urine. The rest of us sat in mostly dumb silence, the only sounds being Charles gasping for breath and Augusta crying. I certainly didn’t know how to react.

“Charles? Answer the question correctly.”

“I…” Charles swallowed. “I gave her some information… that helped her out. She’s a single mom, she needed the money!”

“Which you took a cut from. About ten thousand dollars, a high price from the single mom you claim you sympathize with. Edward?”

Fuck.

“How did you pass your final exam in algebra, senior year?”

I actually sighed with relief. That wasn’t nearly so bad as I expected, since I was following up on Charles’ question. “My friend helped me cheat.”

“Your friend’s name?”

“Jordan. Jordan Mills. He was a genius, he knew I needed his help. He gave me the answers.”

The Judge paused for a moment before turning on Magnolia. “And you, Magnolia? How did you pass your SATs with such high scores? Remember, I can see the rest of your grades. They’re… barely mediocre.”

“What!? They’re-” Magnolia glanced over at Charles, who still looked like a mess. “… I cheated too,” She grumbled.

“Both of you, such poor students, in the same graduating year,” The Judge tutted his tongue, “Our future generation is looking so promising already. Frankie, what happened to the cocaine from the raid on the Wolfe home?”

“It’s in evidence,” the answer came out so fast I think ‘Frankie’ didn’t even consider it a lie, and for a second I thought it wasn’t a lie either.

Then the knife came out and sliced clean through the meat of his shoulder. To his credit, Frankie just breathed in sharply, gritted his teeth and took it.

“I presume you want to change your answer?” The judge asked as the knife slid back out, blood now staining Frankie’s white scrubs.

“Mm… mmhmm,” Frankie exhaled slowly, his body shaking as his face went white. “M-me and another officer took some. S-sold it to someone we knew was a dealer.”

“Therefore putting it back on the streets that you swore to take it off of?”

“It’s different!” Frankie swallowed, his eyes fluttering shut as his shoulder continued to bleed. “The original punks were dealing to highschoolers, kids! The dealer we sold to, he only sold it to thugs who have already ruined their lives.”

“… An interesting point of view, for sure,” The Judge said. “Now, Augusta? How did you get your eldest to sleep sometimes?”

“Oh, I’d rock him to sleep,” Augusta bobbed her head up and down, “He was always so fussy, and-”

She didn’t even get a chance to finish her lie. Her whole body seized up and she screeched as the electric crackle filled the room. It wasn’t as long a shock as it was for Charles, but Augusta looked far worse for wear, gasping and coughing as she tried to calm down.

“Augusta. Stop lying.”

Augusta wailed before her head flopped forward. “A… little whiskey in his bottle… never really hurt anyone, honest, how could I ever hurt my own children?” She said.

I was blown away. Magnolia cheated on SATs, a police officer dealing drugs, and now one of the nicest neighbors on my block gave her kids alcohol so they’d sleep. Christ.

It didn’t get better. That first round wasn’t always fair, after all, all I had to answer for was a false grade, and Harley admitted he took part of a military hazing in which the poor victim had to streak across the base naked. Meanwhile Connie confessed to cheating with a married man and convincing him to leave his wife for her, only to completely blow him off once the wife took the sap for all he was worth. He couldn’t spoil her if he was broke, after all.

I only lied once, I learned quickly enough after that. It was over something stupid, about driving drunk and getting into an accident, slammed into a tree. Jordan covered for me that time too, said he was the one driving since I was tanked. I’d never been electrocuted before that day and I never wanted to again. I didn’t judge Charles for wetting his pants after that, you lose all control when you get shocked like that and that’s all I’ll say about it.

It’s amazing how often some of them chose to lie, and which ones chose not to. Delilah never once lied, completely blank faced as she told us how she robbed one of her johns of everything in his wallet because he passed out drunk or how she didn’t tell her boyfriend that she tested positive for gonorrhea, although the Judge was kind enough to inform her that it was likely him that infected her and not vice versa. Harley only lied twice, once about that hazing and another time about how he abandoned his pregnant girlfriend without even a note.

Meanwhile, Charles had to be shocked and stabbed nearly ever other question, and Augusta lied literally every time. The elderly woman I’d thought was the kindest soul admitted to so many shitty things, some things I can’t even say. All I can say is I pity those poor children of hers, with such a nightmare mom that would beat them for shattering a glass or literally calling the police on her second youngest when he brought his black girlfriend home. She had claimed the girl was trying to rob them. Actual sociopath.

We’re all devils, you know. Devils with different sins blackening our hands, tearing up our souls. No one is innocent. And the Judge knew every one of those sins, no matter how some of us tried to hide them. I wish I knew how he knew that Frankie beat a suspect to get a confession, only for it to be revealed that suspect was innocent all along. I can’t even imagine how he found out that Magnolia slashed her ex boyfriend’s tires because she was mad at him for dumping her, especially since he dumped her since she was so goddamn controlling he couldn’t even see his friends.

For that final round, we all looked fucked up. Shocked, stabbed with everything from knitting needles to steak knives, being forced to reveal our darkest secrets around people that were acquaintances at best, and most were just strangers.

“It’s time for your final question. You will only have one chance to answer this properly. We will start with Augusta.”

Augusta definitely looked the worst off. Like I said, she lied every question, sometimes even more than once. I was surprised she was still alive.

“Augusta, how did your eldest two children die?”

Augusta shakily inhaled and my heart sunk to the bottom of my stomach.

“Doctors… don’t know… I don’t either… mystery illness took my babies from me when they were just six and four years old… let me go home,” Augusta whined.

The Judge sighed.

“Augusta, that’s not the truth. And I told you, this time you would only get one chance to answer correctly.”

The door on the far end of the room and the Judge finally walked out. We finally saw his face. He was tall, well built, probably at least a little handsome, but by that time my brain felt like watery pudding so all I could do was blankly stare at him. He pushed in front of him a television connected to a VHS player, tapes stacked on top of the screen.

The Judge plucked the first tape up, showing us all the name ‘AUGUSTA’ written in black sharpie on the front. He placed the tape in the VHS player and stepped back.

It was a recording of medical documents, a lot of them. The camera panned over several paragraphs nice and slow so we could get the general gist. And that general gist? Augusta’s children would get sick for no discernible reason, but would recover at the hospital. Once they got sent back home, they’d just get sick again. And one day, they both got just too sick and passed away.

“Munchhausen’s by proxy,” The Judge said, and I saw true pain in his eyes as he stood by the wall, where eight switches were neatly lined up. Each of them had a name beneath them, our names. “What are your final words, Augusta?”

“I…” Augusta shook her head. “No, I loved my children, I really did…”

She paused to take a breath and that’s when the Judge flipped the switch.

Augusta writhed and her eyes went so wide they looked like they were going to fall out of her head. She wailed one last time before her eyes rolled back and then the only movement from her came from the electric current.

The switch was turned off and the Judge looked back at us. Then he raised his hand and had his fingers ready at Delilah’s switch.

“Delilah?”

The woman, the truthful one, finally looked up. “Yes?” She asked.

The Judge stared at her. “Your boyfriend. Calvin McLaughlin. Was his murder premeditated?”

“… Yes.” Delilah bowed her head. “… he had friends in the force. He was getting out of jail for nearly killing me, because none of them believed me. So I just waited for him to get home. I waited for him to get drunk. And I wasn’t going to wait for that first punch, so I took a baseball bat and I smashed his head in.”

There was a deathly quiet pause before the judge lowered his hand from Delilah’s switch. The Judge turned his gaze on Frankie, who went pale.

“How did your wife die, Frankie?” He asked.

Frankie, to his credit, did come off as convincing. “Car accident. She went off the road, killed her instantly,” He said.

The Judge did his best to hide any emotion to us, but I did see that look of murderous intent as he grabbed another VHS that had Frankie’s name written on it. He put it in.

Another recording of another document. An autopsy report, about how a Mrs. Nancy Smith had many injuries that were in different phases of healing. How her ribs had been broken multiple times in the past, and this time one of those rib fragments broke free and punctured her heart. Followed by that were reports, doctor’s reports about Nancy’s many visits to the hospital, all for ‘accidents’.

“Was Nancy that clumsy, Frankie?” The Judge asked quietly. “I highly doubt it. Your last words?”

“You don’t understand!” Frankie blurted out. “No one seems to understand how hard our job is, what we see! It takes a toll! It’s not my fault that Nancy didn’t get it-”

I turned away from this electrical death, and when I heard the electrical chair powered down I looked up to see a froth bubbling from the dead cop’s lips, his dead eyes staring at the now flickering light on the ceiling.

“Connie Andrews?”

Connie slowly looked up at the Judge, her face twisted in rage.

“Where did you get the poison for all of the husbands you killed?”

“Fuck you,” She spat at him, saliva landing on his clean white shirt. The Judge simply wiped it off, picked up another tape that no doubt had her name on it, and put in the VHS player.

This time it wasn’t a document, it was a woman exiting a nail salon and heading into a small drug store that happened to be right next door. It was clear the video was taken from someone’s car. Connie exited the store about ten minutes later with a small bag. A newspaper was raised in front of the camera, revealing the date.

“This was two days before your third husband mysteriously passed in his sleep. Your last words?”

Connie went white as The Judge raised his hand for her switch. “No, wait! Don’t do it! I’ll give you whatever you want! I’ll confess! I’ll tell the truth!” She yelped.

Click. The acrid smell of Connie’s fake fingernails melting was so bad it made my head spin.

Magnolia shook her head wildly as The Judge went to her switch next. “I never hurt anyone! What the hell are you doing?!” She screamed, thrashing about so wildly I thought she might actually tear an arm free.

“What did you tell your boyfriend, Zachary Cullen, to do before he shot and killed himself?” The Judge’s stare.

“That… that wasn’t my fault!” Magnolia shook her head again and again, the strap holding her head in place actually coming loose. “How was that my fault?!”

The Judge held up a finger before pulling a voice recorder from his pocket. “This doesn’t need video,” He said simply before he hit play.

The conversation I heard… I can’t repeat it. It was too terrible. Magnolia telling her boyfriend again and again how worthless he was, how he was such a pathetic waste of space, and how she couldn’t wait for him to kill himself because that was the only good thing he’d ever do for himself.

The recording ended with a gunshot. The Judge cocked his head to the side.

“Your last words?”

“How was that my fault!?” Was all she wrote. Being right next to the person being shocked, it’s… it’s so disgusting. I could smell the burning hair and skin, hear every garbled sound that ripped its way out of her throat as she jolted and contorted in horrifying ways.

Charles moaned loudly as The Judge approached the switch. “Don’t. Don’t ask,” He said, even though he knew what would happen.

“Charles? Last month, early morning. Rushing to work because you were late. Did anything happen on that drive?”

Charles didn’t even speak, he just shook his head.

Another tape was taken off the VHS player, the Judge flashing the front to show off Charles’ name.

This was from a traffic cam. A couple was walking across the street, probably the same age your mother and I were at the time. The collision happened so fast, the car slammed into them and sent the man flying over the hood while the woman was crushed under the car. The car stopped for a moment, just a moment, and I recognized the bald head that poked its way out of the window. Just for a second.

And then he zoomed off, leaving the bodies broken and bleeding in the street.

“Mr. Oscar Long was dead on arrival, but Miss Hannah Garcia? She took longer to die, and she suffered for every minute of it. Do I even need to ask for your last words?”

“It was just an accident!” Charles wailed.

I don’t need to describe what happened next. I’m sure you know by now. Another human being electrocuted to death, executed by the expressionless Judge.

Harley sighed shakily as The Judge looked at him. “And?” was all the Judge said.

“… I know what I did was wrong.” Harley admitted, his head bowed before he raised it and looked at The Judge. “So I will not be confessing today, Judge. I know what I deserve.”

The Judge paused and I caught a glimpse of something. Sympathy. “Being apart of the massacre of a village of innocent people and then covering it up. The act of a cowardly soldier. So, I believe this is the bravest thing you’ve ever done.”

“Just end it already,” Harley said, his eyes closing as he prepared for the shock.

“I won’t make you suffer.”

For a moment, I thought the Judge might have an inkling of mercy in him. Instead, he crossed the room of corpses and grabbed Harley’s head. It was so efficient, the twist of his head, the snap of his neck. Harley was dead in less time than it takes to finish a sentence. Perhaps it was mercy in the Judge’s mind. It was certainly quicker than what the others went through, that was for sure.

The only people left that were still alive in that room were me, Delilah, and The Judge. I was the only one left who had a final question. He went to his switches. I knew what he was going to ask.

“Why did you kill Jordan Mills, Edward?”

I took a deep breath.

“Because I was in love with his girlfriend. And she wouldn’t give me a second look as long as Jordan was alive.”

“And the girlfriend?”

“We’re now married. Have a daughter. We have another kid on the way.”

Delilah stared at me, probably shook that someone else confessed their most dirty secret, their most wicked of sins. The Judge nodded.

“And with that, court is adjourned.” The Judge left the room, coming back a moment later with two needles. He jabbed one into Delilah’s neck, the woman’s eyes flickering as she fell unconscious.

“Why did you do this?” I asked as the Judge walked up to me, tilting my head to the side with the hands he’d just used to murder six people.

“So you never do it again,” The Judge hissed before the needle entered my neck.

The next thing I know I’m lying on the street, cops are all around me, asking if I was okay and what happened. I was back in the clothes I’d fallen asleep with, the only sign that anything that had happened was the bruises on my wrists and the memories.

Oh, I know, you never expected me to have taken a life too. I regret it. Jordan was… kind to me. It was a moment of rage, something not at all planned out. I was just lucky no one ever found the body until it was too decomposed to really tell anything. Everyone assumed he fell off the hiking trail and hit his head on the way down, causing his death.

I paid for it my own way, of course. Ever since that night in the Chair of Truth, I’ve practically been a saint. Paid my taxes, watched my words, donated time and money to help others, and even when your mother finally left me for good, I never held it against her.

Why? Well, it’s hard to do anything wrong when you know someone’s gone through your life with a fine tooth comb. The fact someone is still watching me, no matter what I do, and I feel if I ever slipped up again, I’d wake up in the Chair, and next time I’d not get away so easily.

And I hope, my son, that you learn from my mistakes… that no matter how well you hide your sins, you will be found out, whether in the afterlife or this one.

#my stories

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officialweezerelections · 10 months

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I hear u want to hear about WEIRD ANIMALS yes?

Well have i got a WEIRD ANIMAL for you!!

(i know u know about this cause. Its a bird. And also was in the bracket if i remember right (to be fair ive been just a TAD confused as to wich bird poll blog this is ever since u changed ur url lol), but i dunno maybe i can give u some new info! And maybe not, but hopefylly you'll put up with me anyway!)

I give you-

(Drumroll please..)

The

BEARDED

VULTURE!!!!!!

Anyway this is my FAVORITE. BIRD. And more people need to talk about her!!!!

So first of all there's the main thing they're known for - being the ONLY known vertabrate whose diet consists mainly (between 70 and 90 PERCENT!!!!!!) of BONE!!!!!!

ALSO however! This bird is POSSIBLE evidence of non-human animal using COSMETICS!!!! Y'see, they are naturally mostly white in coloration, but they roll in iron-rich mud and dust, thus dyeing their feathers a rich red color! Interestingly, Bearded Vultures, a primarily solitary and somewhat territorial animal, seem to be more respectful of and submissive to others of their species who have more red to their feathers. Though it is worth noting, as these birds live in very high altitudes, that we havent been able to observe them in the wild enough to prove the connection between dyed hue and perceived dominance.

Also i seem to remember in some poll (genuinely cant remember if it was urs or not) the Bearded Vulture was beat by a bird whose main notable trait was commiting fratricide - something that the Bearded Vulture ALSO does! The mother lays two eggs, one egg hatches about a week before the other, and upon the second egg hatching one chick (almost always the older one) kills and eats the other. I dont usually share that bit cause it would turn a lot of folks off from my Favorite Bird Ever but it really bothered me how that poll went down lol (lighthearted) (not actually mad)

Anyway, uuuuhhhh i think thats it -

-WAIT!!!!! I just remembered something else about them!!!!!

So they eat bones right? And some bones are to big to swallow yeah? So, like any strong-legged bird would, they pick up the too-big bones, fly way up high, and then drop them on rocks to break them into edible peices.

Seems pretty normal yeah?

Well (allegedly) they also do that to turtles/turtles to access the meat on rare occasion.

Still not that weird? I completely agree!

However, (allegedly) a Bearded Vulture once killed a greek playwright by the name of Aeschylus by mistaking his bald head for a rock and dropping a tortoise on it from a great height!

Anyway yeah thats all the main things

Except you know, for their apearance

(Why are their EYES like that? Ive tried to look it up but cant find anything. Some of the PRETTIEST (round-pupiled) eyes in the animal kingdom tho, no question)

Anyways yeah, sorry if this is all stuff u already knew, but, uh. YEAH!!!

Thanks for letting me rant about my funky lil guy!!!

I DID KNOW ALL OF THIS ALREADY BUT I LOVE YOUR ENTHUSIASM AND I LOVED READING ALL OF IT AGAIN!!! Bearded vultures are so darn pretty. Also you can be genuinely bothered with how a poll went down, I’m still a bit upset with the results of my first bracket. (final girl showdown) 😔

I keep thinking of things I could add on but you’ve pretty much said it all! I guess I could say that the bearded vulture is a card in Inscryption? The power is equal to one half of the player’s bones. I like that little detail.

-🪿

#mod gf #bearded vulture #asks

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viking-writing · 5 months

Text

Hallo hallo!💕 HAPPY NEW YEARS/GODT NYTTÅR!🎉

I'm planning on getting the first fic in my Rammstein AU fic series done in 2024! Hopefully before the end of January as that is Rammsteins 30th anniversary-month (Or so I've been told?) but 2024 is their anniversary year anyway so I'll be done long before the end of this year with the first fic in the series! 😁

@marimayscarlett you need to help me with some of the german so you get to read all the chapters before everyone else! ^^

Here is a sneak peak on some of my OC's.

I've actually found at least one of them on "thispersondoesnotexist.com" and it was surreal how the looks matched so perfectly with how I visioned him in my head. Especially considering how the page just makes random AI persons every single time you refresh. I even ended up finding TWO pictures of him (the two fake men look nearly identical and it was beyond perfect for how I visioned him!)

I'll save the "realistic pictures" for some other time. Instead enjoy some piccrew avatars I made of some of my OC's (with some added facts. Warning; this is a long read so if you don't bother you can just look at the avatars instead)

Name: Cornelia Francesca (II/the 2nd.). However she prefers to only go by "Cornelia" or "Nelia" for short.

Gender: Cis woman

Pronouns: She/Her

Sexuality: Pansexual

Nationality: That depends on what you lay in the meaning "nationality" (She is mostly German by blood but she was born and grew up in France.)

Facial features: Very pale skin (her veins are mostly visible) and her face is heartshaped. She considers her chin to be "too long and sharp-pointed" and with her big dark- blue, doll-like eyes and blonde curly locks she is often underrestimated or "sweet-talked". Her brows are Blonde/white/nearly "invisible", and her upper lip is slightly bigger than her lower lip, which sometimes could be mistaken for a "frowning pout". Furthermore her lips has no cupids bow. Lastly she "wishes she could have had freckles or beauty marks" as she "finds such to be very unique and beautiful."

Body type: She is tall and has an Hour glass figure. She is naturally heavy chested while her waist is small both by birth and "by the aid of corsets."

Piercings and tattoos: None. Trying to pierce a hole into her would "be a waste of time."

Diet: Vegetarian (mostly). She doesn't mind eating eggs or drinking milk as long as its from trusted farms.

Musical taste: Her taste in music is vast and consist of any genre, from any decade. She doesn't have any favorite band or artist in particular as she doesn't like to place any artist or band "up on a pedestal" as they are "all to be considered talented and should therefore all be equally appreciated".

Fashion sense: Anything from disorted jeans to long ruffled lace skirts. Her most "outraged/scandalous" fashion statement are probably the times when she likes to adjust/modify her corsets so they would fit over jeans and t-shirts. However she doesn't like bold prints or too strong colors, except deep blue or deep red. She wish she could have earrings but as already mentioned: piercing her ears would be a waste of time. She likes wearing necklaces that are simple and not too flashy: anything from simple stone pendants to single colored heavy laced chokers though as for pearls, she has "always found them too mature looking."

Name: Bas (He thinks his mother gave him way too many names, so he prefers to only use the first one.)

Gender: Cis man

Pronouns: He/Him (but he won't correct you if you say they/them.)

Sexuality: Asexual & Aromantic He thinks Romance is ok in movies and books...but "in real life he is good with having family and friends!"

Nationality: The Republic of the Congo.

Skin color: Black "and beautiful" as he would usually say.

Facial features: A rounded face. Bald head he lost his hair due to "some hair...disease?" He doesn't remember what it was called, and "he doesn't really care. Without hair it's easier for him to get ready in the morning and then he can have plenty of time to do fun things!". His nose is wide and short with wide nostrils. He really likes his nose, and the rest of his face! His facial hair is usually scruffy or cleaned shaved. He "tried to grow a moustache, once....and it turned out all patchy so he never wants to do it again!". He has black/dark brown puppy- eyes which according to him means he can "get whatever he wants? No he is probably too old for that trick!" . His eyes have dark circles and a few wrinkles under them but he knows that "in his age being tired is a cool lifestyle, so the dark circles are matching great!".

Body Type: A little on the heavier side with a little portruding tummy, which is alright! He is "exactly how he wants to be and no one can tell him otherwise!"

Piercings and tattoos: Both of his ear lobes are pierced with a metal/silvery earring. He wish he could get tattoos but thinks he "probably wouldn't tolerate that much pain over such a long period of time."

Diet: "Anything goes." He thinks "pasta is boring unless you add some mushroom, a hearty meat sauce and spinach." He thinks "seafood is alright. Shrimps are very good" but to him "nothing beats a well done burger and salty fries!" He thinks that chickens tastes good but that "the source material looks messed up when it runs around and has feathers on it." Basically he thinks all birds are scary and that they "should stay as far away from him as possible!"

Favorite type of music: Bas likes most music but claims that Opera "is the worst." He also thinks that lyrical Jazz that is "too upbeat" sounds "weird and too loud/too confusing." Slow, Classical or electronic music is wonderful if he "wants to relax." He doesn't really appreciate Reggea music too much although "Mark" (Markus) has tried his best to show him "the beauty of it." Soul music is ok, but can get a bit too "screamy/naggy" after a while...

Fashion sense: He loves to wear colorful t- shirts, matched up with a well used, black suit jacket or black, wool coat jacket. Nearly all of his shirts has mostly either vibrant colors or has a cool pattern on them. But it has to be a pattern that is "repetitive and isn't too overwelming". According to himself he "probably doesn't own a single pair of suit pants." In addition to the colorful t-shirts and hoodies; dark or standard colored jeans, comfy shorts and sweatpants is what he "prefers to live in, depending on the season." A hat, preferably a cap worn the "correct way and not backwards" is a "must to protect his head from being burned". He loves colorful hoodies and brown or red scarfs. He doesn't like to wear beanies, because he thinks it "makes him look like the stereotypical black burglar/rapper guy". As for jewelry he doesn't bother to wear any except for the wrist watch he got from his dad, and his standard black or silvery gray earrings. He thinks goldchains are "super corny and he wouldn't be caught dead or alive wearing one! Not even if someone paid him!" As for shoes; regular short laced up leather boots are "easy to wear and they go with anything". Either that or he likes to wear black sneakers, as white sneakers, according to him "would again make him look too much of a rapper guy or some kid trying to impress someone".

Name: Markus E. Weiss and "please don't ever call him "Mark" or "Markie" or any other shortened nicknames as he doesn't appreciate that".

Gender: Male. He says he "doesn't understand the meaning or the need for the word cis. " He also says he "won't understand what 'being trans' means." Hopefully he can be thought otherwise.

Pronouns: He/Him

Sexuality: Straight

Nationality: West-German (the former GDR)

Skin color: White

Facial features: He thinks his face is pretty average and oval shaped, especially for "a man in his age". He has a slightly rounded, slightly pointed chin. His blue medium big, slightly down-turned eyes is for the most part behind a pair of silvery steel, squared shaped glasses. He has been told he has very "kind but sad looking eyes". His brown hair that has "gotten lighter with age", is sually sleeked back without any shaved sides. His hair tends to get very wavy the day after he has showered. His nose is slightly downturned with a slightly narrow- rounded tip and he thinks it looks "pretty average just like most of his face". He has pretty straight teeth except for one upper tooth off to the side that is a little shorter than the rest. His ears are a little portruding. His lips are thin, and it makes him look very mischeavious whenever he is lightly smiling.

Body type: "Asymmetrical" and he is "too embarrassed to tell you how/why". Although he believes he is "quite fit for a man of his age he "knows its only a question of time before he gets thinner or gets a belly/tummy just like most men his age if they don't regularly work out".

Piercings and tattoos: None. Because he thinks that "such things doesn't look right. Except for earrings", but for him earrings "belong in the past with his long hair and big sunglasses."

Diet: What he is being served, which is mostly vegetarian food now...unless "there is a special delivery that contains meat in it". He doesn't drink alcohol. He likes a good stew or "anything that is homemade with lots of love and tradition" but all in all he "isn't really picky on trying out new types of food".

Favorite type of music: He mostly listens to classic rock, or 80's rock, although "Soul and Reggea with a meaning has the sound that makes the world go around." He thinks Patti Smith, Pat Benatar and Annie Lennox are "very underrated." Some of his favorite artists includes Patti Smith, Queen, The Doors, David Bowie, The Ramones and The Rolling Stones. He "doesn't really care that much for hip hop, but they are talented in singing fast/rapping, but it just isn't what he would listen to".

Fashion sense: He mostly wears his uniform. Sometimes he wears the black turtle neck without the gray uniform jacket, and pairs this with the gray or navy blue uniform pants or black suit pants. He "probably doesn't own more than one pair of jeans but he swears that velvet bell-bottom pants were everything when he was younger!" He likes to sleep in black or dark gray sweat pants paired with old washed out band t-shirts or single colored (dark blue, white, dark gray or black) long-sleeves. When he is at work he has a silver pocket watch attached to his suitjacket or fastened by the hip at the belt of his suit/uniform pants. He thinks its "practical that the watch can be attached to the belt if it becomes too hot to wear the uniform jacket".)

___________________________________

That was some of the characters , but I'm also adding a little bonus. Richard Z Kay in a fancy halloween costume/sexy vampire bat-costume! I swear this character is always so extra. It's funny how real-life Richard Kruspe is one of my least favorite Rammstein member, but in my fic series he is actually one of my favorite characters and I am going to defend him at any cost! I honestly wish he was real and that we could hang out not just "in my head/imagination".

Name: Richard Zee Kay/ RZK/Richard Z. Kruspe/Richard Zven/Sven Kruspe Landers. (The list could be endless for a diva like him!)

Gender: male, bclaims that "sometimes he is a whole gender for himself that should NOT be messed with and always have his way or isn't "diva" considered a gender?"

Pronouns: He/him/"Katchen/Fab/Herr Fab/Frau Fab/Divalicious😘".

Sexuality: PAULsexual ❤ ("it's ok to be GAY"/fab-sexual)

Nationality: West Germany (former West-Berlin.)

Skin color: White or fake/real tan

Facial features: A very sharp jawline and a sharp chin, that he hates as it "looks way too masculine". He has ususally "neatly plucked brows". His eyes are big and blue but slightly downturned. His hair is naturally brown and thick/wavy but he used to have "awful blonde dreadlocks which wasn't his choice by the way". Nowadays (at the beginning of the story) he mostly keeps his hair short and dyes it black and "unlike your neighbour or your aunt he is a master colorist and knows EXACTLY what he is doing!" He has according to his husband Paul and his best friend Thalia a "charming, slightly boy-ish smile especially after he had his teeth properly cleaned and fixed". Another thing that Thalia and Paul has told him is that "his face is really expressive, especially when he disprooves/shows a disgust or confusion about something". He doesn't like his own nose as "it could have been a lot shorter" but his husband Paul has claimed that "that would probably make him look like Michael Jackson AFTER plastic surgery" so Richard slowly accepted the nose that "the universe gave him." He has thin lips, but according to him, his husband Paul "has never complained...if ya know what he means? 😉"

Body type: Richard "used to be a twink-teen in the 80's and early 90's (he was born in 1973 in my fic series) but has bulked up A LOT since then! 💪" He now (at the beginning of the story) has a strong v-shaped back with back-dimples something Paul seemingly "knows to take advantage of 😉" According to Paul, Richard's broad upper body is "both a turn on and an odd threat". Richard would now describe himself as "a friendly but bossy hunk with an ass that is bigger, more perfect and more plump than yours will ever be!". Further he claims that he "takes great pride in keeping his ass that way" and that "it's reserved for Paul H. Landers anygays so don't you even bother!". Richard describes his chest as "more amazing than whatever cleavage you will ever have." Further he says that "unfortunally he wasn't given a big dick that would match his big attitude", but he also tries to remind himself about how Paul always tells him that he "has a beautiful penis/Schwanz...just the way it is". In other words: Richard's below average dick size doesn't affect his self esteem "as much as it used to before he met Paul" and he claims "he owes this to his wonderful husband who loves him as him ❤".

Diet: "Anything goes as long as HE or any other professionally trained chef has prepared the food, because he used to be a chef before he became a hair stylist and master colorist". He claims that the reason for why he quit as a chef was "as much as he loved making food, it got too warm and stressful in the restaurant-kitchen and that just spiked his anxiety to the max!"). He prefers pasta or pizza and "didn't like soups at first but Paul convinced him and now he is hooked on all kinds of soups just as much as his husband!" He tries to eat as much proteins as he can "without chugging down on protein shakes, and actually if he can avoid having to drink those nasty shakes again and still get bulked up nicely, then that would be perfect!"

Piercings/tattoos: He "used to rock a belly button after he first started dating Paul but it rejected, and yes he is still upset by that." As for jewelry he first "shared one of Paul's silvery or black earrings and thought it was cute that they could wear one, each, until Paul began to nag on him to get it back for the sake of symmetry". Which "gave him the push to save money for another hole in the 2nd ear and finally buy his own earrings". Other than that he has been thinking about "getting a tongue piercing or a brow piercing" and although Paul seems to be "very supportive of the tongue piercing, he thinks Richard first needs to decide an actual SHAPE of his brow before he gets it pierced so sadly it never happened". As for tattoos, Richard doesn't have any but he claims that for a short time he "dead-seriously wanted to have 'Property of Paul L.' or 'Property of Heiko' (Paul's birth name.)" tattooed above his ass, but "Paul talked him out of it". He has also thought about getting a tattoo of a guitar on his wrist or shoulder that would "symbolize that his husband used to be a punk guitarist in a band in the 80's and early 90's". Another tattoo that Richard is still considering is "cool, diagonally aligned black stars on both of his hips."

Favorite type of music: "Paul's moans, laughter and guitar riffs🥰"... KISS. Scorpions. Firehouse "just to mention a few". He says he "loves to listen to any brutal Death Metal song, anything by Nine Inch Nails, Feeling B, Depeche Mode, The Ramones, The Sex Pistols or Danzig whenever he is jogging or lifting weights." He claims to have "always been a fan of 80's and 90's synth pop, goth, and punk and swears that his favorite punk band now is Feeling B" which was Paul's former band who disbanded sometime in the early 90's, but with a last concert in the early 00's. Some other of Richard's favorite bands/artists includes Sisters of Mercy. The Mission. London After Midnight. The Lords of The Church. Death. The Misfits. The Clash.Nick Cave & The Bad Seeds. Tool. Slayer. Kreator. DIO. Lamb of God. Accept. White Snake. Nazareth. Meshugga... but "the list could go on and on but it's mostly guys with deep and kinda depressive voices.. " After he started dating Paul, Richard got into David Bowie and the industrial metal band Hindenburg" (although in your universe/the real world, they are known as Rammstein) while Thalia got him into liking Eisbrecher and darker techno.

Fashion sense: "The best!💋" according to himself; no matter what Paul, Thalia or anyone else tells him.

#OC's character cards #I think even the characters that are based on the rammstein bois are considered low key OC's #because their personalities and likes and dislikes are very distinct #the viking writes #rammstein au fic #rammstein au fic series #rammstein fic #wip rammstein fic series #rammstein wip #fic richard kruspe #my fic richard kruspe #rammstein fic richard kruspe #oc's from wip rammstein fic series #oc's rammstein fic #oc's piccrew #oc's rammstein fic piccrew #rammstein wip fic #rammstein fic wip

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mekdotkha · 1 month

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i really like games that feel like they have their very own ecosystem!! rainworld is a really good showing of mobs interacting with each other and doing their own thing to live their lives, and i think that that would be really cool to add into minecraft!

not just with animals either, i think that villagers, illagers, and witches should all feel like they have their own lives and that they do things when youre not around. right now, all they really do is wander around. wolves chase skeletons and sheep eat grass, but we could have so much more than that!!

imagine if they all had their own schedules and preferences that were made clear by their behavior! ill start this example off with the chicken. what better way to start off with than...

A REDESIGN!!

now, you may be looking at that and thinking "hey now, mek. not ALL chickens look like that" and you would be RIGHT! of course, there would be over variants of this chicken (different breeds, if you will) that you would find in other areas; each would have their own behavioral trends, but thats not what im referring to.

what i am getting at is them all having different little cosmetic differences that make them more easily distinguishable, for instance:

9 different comb variations! (even bald rep!)

9 different wattles!! (look at them, so majestic!!)

8 different tail feathers!!! (do not pluck!!!)

do you know what that means?? that means there would be a whole... uh... one second

648 different chickens!!!!!

you know how to any random joe schmoe, a pile of chickens is a pile of chickens, but to Farmer Dale, thats Chirp, Chooch, Chiki, Cha-Cha, and Char all ganging up on Cheery? now (if you care to) you can be the farmer who can tell all their chickens apart, even without a nametag!

"but mek," i hear you ask, "why do i care which chicken is which? theyre all the same!!" well, first off, they arent in my heart. you may jot that down if you please. secondly, NOT ANYMORE THEYRE NOT!!

MECHANICS

my current plan is to give each mob 3 core stats that it can vary from other mobs of its variant in. of course, other variants of the same mob would probably have different base stats of course, but lets keep it simpler for now. some examples of base stats could be as follows:

cows could vary in hearts, protectiveness, and milkiness. sheep could vary in hearts, wooliness, and coziness. pigs could vary in hearts, comfy pose, and inquisitiveness.

and chickens? well, heres what im workin on so far:

EGGINESS - by default we can change it so that chickens generally pop an egg out every day as the average. we can even make it so that its about once every 10 minutes if you go to sleep on time every night. (oooh, interesting)

TIDINESS - increases the amount the chicken will set aside a little self-care time. the average can be around twice a day. why is this important? well, because when a chicken preens itself, it heals whatever damage its taken and drops a feather!! (finally, a reliable way to get them without hurting them!)

BROODINESS - broodiness is a new status a chicken can be in that has a chance of happening every full moon, lets say around a 5% chance. if the chicken does become broody, then itll hang around its nest more, produce more eggs, and become territorial. coming by to take a broody chickens eggs may get you a peck or two!! it might be best to be a little more careful until the new moon comes around and it calms down.

now, there were some things in that list that seem to hint to other mechanics. ill go more into their behavior now:

chickens generally spend most of their time either pecking around in the grass for seeds, nesting, perching, preening or interacting with other chickens. which action they will default to depends on the time of day. these can be generally split into time they are foraging, nesting, perching, and doing social things.

FORAGING - a wandering state. chickens will walk around and peck the ground every so often, eating seeds or bugs or whatever. there is a small chance of chickens leaving biome specific seeds (foreshadowing) around whenever they peck/scratch at the ground.

NESTING - most often done in the morning and evening, if the chicken has a nest claimed the chicken will go to its nest and relax. it will alternate every so often between sleeping, preening, maintaining their nest, and wandering around a small area around their nest. if the chicken does NOT have a nest claimed, it will choose a nearby one. if there is no nest nearby, it will either start making one or skip to the perching state. a chicken deciding to make a new nest will search for a suitable spot, prioritizing elevation, cover, and specific adjacent blocks. (i do also plan on making it so you can make nests for them/move them with silk touch)

PERCHING - while perching, chickens will seek a "comfy" spot to sit. "comfy" spots are dependent on the weather. if it's sunny, a comfy spot is an high up spot that is exposed to sunlight. if its cloudy, it is just a high up spot. if its rainy, the chick en prioritizes cover. if its snowy, it will prioritize cover near other chickens, foliage, or a light source for warmth.

SOCIALIZING - chickens will seek out other chickens, and sometimes other mobs or even players, and exhibit one of a few different behaviors; these include clucking at them, preening them, and following them around.

what do you think? this is all a work in progress, and i have more ideas for interactions chickens could possibly have with other mobs, but this is what ive got so far. i dont want to make anything TOO complicated, but i think this feels pretty nice and makes the chickens feel... well, like theyre actual chickens!!

#minecraft #mineblr #datapack #mob #chicken

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onesaltysir · 5 months

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I need to settle this with myself, I can't decide if it's a good movie or not. Debate material under cut.

Eva Gabor slays as Miss Bianca (my queen) both times so that's an automatic yes from me. The story itself was also not bad.

On the other hand the animation threw me off because I've always been so loyal to the original 1977 The Rescuers. Milt Kahl's animation is such a big deal to me, that was the best era of Disney and I will not be hearing other opinions because they are wrong.

The egg scene with Johanna and Mcleach in the kitchen? Made me smile during my surgery recovery. Animated movies rarely make me smile. That scene was peak cinematic gold.

The absolute deciding factor is if Jake is sexy or not. Now for the record I am 100% team Bernard. Thicc mouse man with a dumpy and a big heart? Yes maam. (He also has a slight stutter. As a stutterer myself, child me instantly fell in love when my father had me watch the original for the first time.) But there's just something about Jake's charm. That Indiana Jones ass kangaroo rat could punt me into the sun and I can’t tell if I would thank him or dropkick that Crocodile Dundee motherfucker.

Miss Bianca, however, has been and always will be my favourite. Everyone has a crush on her everywhere she goes and she looks so put together but I promise you she is so fucking autistic and probably does Jello shots with whoever wishes to humour her. Just watch the original, and then this is emphasized in Down Under. Fucking icon. God is a white mouse from Hungary with a purple hat.

That being said, let's turn back to the animation. What are these CGI scenes doing in here? Now mind you, overall I *am* impressed with the CGI. This movie came out in 1990 and they combined 2D animation with so many near flawless CGI shots. But why though? The combination was awesome, it slayed, it served. But there was just something about it that seemed so corny to me and I can’t place my finger on it.

And what are these size proportions? Cody is six years old acording to the Disney Wiki. If you are familiar with six year olds, then you know those things aren't exactly tiny. Why is he able to ride on that eagle? Golden eagles are real birds however they are smaller than bald eagles. Bald eagles are large birds but they are not that large. In fact the largest eagle as of right now is the giant Philippine eagle, which is only a meter tall. A six year old can’t ride that. Not only did Marahute fly hundreds of metres in the air supporting an entire six year old and then some, but she was also large enough for this kid to pitch a medium sized tent on. What the hell. Fake ass bird.

Another problem I have is that it takes place in Australia. So why in the absolute FUCK does Cody sound like he's from Nebraska USA? Riddle me fucking that. Mcleach is understandable because he's a poacher, probably dropped in from the US. In fact he sounds like he's from Tennessee so you know his ass did. But come on. Cody? He's a six year old born and raised in Australia. The only characters with Australian accents were two kangaroos, a koala, and Cody's mother. His mother is a stretch though, Edinburgh sounding ass bitch.

Also what six year old owns a large pocket knife? Cody if you don't put that shit down and go work on your colouring book. I swear to god.

What redeems it for me is Bianca and Bernard. Jake really thought he could pull Bianca from the perfect man. Bernard respects Bianca with everything he has, he continually gave her everything he could. Bernard loved her, and Bianca loved him back. Jake tried to shit on her man and Bianca said 'I think the fuck not.'

And yes. I know Bernard is some Hobbit ass motherfucker. He didn’t wanna go on the trip to save Penny in the original, he hates flying, he hates adventure, but Bianca taught him to love that and it was beautiful. He tried it for her and found out that he did love it after all. Bianca brought out his courage, and Bernard brought out her heart. They're the best Disney duo. Fuck you.

I got distracted. The question I want to answer is, is The Rescuers Down Under a great movie or is it a horrible movie? It's not just good or bad. You either love it or you hate it, and I can't decide.

Miss Bianca supremacy for life.

#What I really want is a third movie.#Bianca and Bernard did get engaged at the end of Down Under but I HAVE to see their wedding #I know Bianca wanted some crazy shit and Bernard just went along with it #Bianca and Bernard are my current hyperfixation can you tell

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philip-the-nickel · 2 years

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The Trouble with Youths

@mojo-chojo I wrote the Spicy Chicken AU fic.

Now that Cub has been turned back into a strapping young 20-something, his good friend Scar has decided to keep an eye on him, just to be sure there’s no ill-effects from this magical mishap.

The sight had been a shock to behold, that’s for certain. The old, balding, gray haired man that Scar had come to know as Cub seemingly overnight had reverted himself to a spry and fit 20-something, with seemingly no side effects. Now, the two were both old enough to know that all magic comes at a cost, so it seemed prudent to have Scar stay a few nights after his potions were complete just to be sure nothing strange came of this newfound youth serum Cub had created by accident. He was doing this “as a favor to a friend, for certain” he thought, as he watched the younger looking man toiling over his broiling potions, pulling his shirt up to wipe some sweat from his brow. “As any friend would, certainly.” He thought, his eyes skimming downward.

Over the course of a day or two, Scar had begun to notice some side effects to this de-aging. First and foremost, Cub had once again regained his youthful stamina, and was prone to staying up later than he should and somehow getting up bright eyed and bushy tailed in the morning. Secondly, and far more concerningly, Cub had reverted to the same devil-may-care sense of invulnerability and impulsiveness that youth is known for. Scar had barely managed to contain a blast by transporting an entire brewing apparatus out the window at nearly 4 in the morning, having come downstairs just to ask what the god-awful smell was.

“Thanks for the save, Scar” Cub said, downing a cup that contained whatever the source of the pungent smell was. Scar was still catching his breath, wide eyed, staring out into the yard as a giant oak toppled over, its base blown completely apart by whatever apparatus Cub had formerly been using.

“What on EARTH?-” Scar started. “-Oh! I was trying to replicate my youth serum, but see if I could make it into one that gave the drinker just the pure energy of youth,” Cub continued, speaking quickly, “I got the idea after making this-” he motioned to the sludge in his coffee mug, “-delectable little drink I just made up.” Scar looked from the tree, to Cub, to the mug, to the tree, then back to Cub, then back to the mug. Cub smiled. Scar grabbed the mug and took a swig.

“This tastes like coffee that’s been to the nether, eaten by a piglin, and spat back out.” He took another swig. “It doesn’t get better.” Cub nodded, noting the review.

“But it works” Cub said, the obvious effect of his coffee/mana/energy/affront to the senses sludge making him entirely too energetic for this hour of the night.

Scar took one more looooong swig of the truly disgusting concoction. “It really does.” The two men, now wide awake and entirely too full of life, took one look at each other and had the same exact thought.

------

It was probably mid-day when Scar finally managed to get out of his bed again, the hangover threatening to split his head open like an overdone boiled egg. Light had begun to stream in from the slit in the curtains. Cub stirred beneath the sheets, moving the pillow down around his head. Scar looked around, ascertaining from the haphazard scattering of clothing and empty bottles a rough approximation of what the idea was that he and Cub had simultaneously had. He peeked under the covers, and was pleased to find his guess was correct. He was also pleased to find that his pants were within reach, as he was not of a mind to move around too much just yet. Cub muttered something. “What did you say?” Scar asked.

An ear splitting whinny tore through from the outside. Scar quite literally jumped out of his pants.

“We forgot to feed the horse” Cub muttered, sitting up from under the covers. Scar, from his newfound place on the floor, was caught between cursing his drink-addled brain for the hangover and cursing his drink-addled brain for not remembering the night before, the latter especially so as Cub stood and walked to the window.

He pulled a handful of fancy stones from a pocket dimension, and handed it to the vexes. “This goes to whichever one of you can feed the horse first” The vexes snatched the gems from his hand and flew off.

“I could have sworn I fed my mule before we-” Scar was halfway through his thought, “Wait, who’s horse is that?” Cub waved his hand, gesturing that it was his. “When did you get a horse?” Scar asked. Cub thought for a moment, pulling a shirt on. Scar could see the wheels turning, until finally a thought struck him.

“I got it yesterday” he said, his face going a little pale. Scar nodded.

“From the Moss Goblin” he said, looking at Scar. Scar looked a little pale.

“Who’s horse is that?” they both asked, going to look out the window. The blinding lights were almost too much, but it was Scar that recognized it first. He took Cub by the shoulders.

“That’s Adequate” he said, pointing to the horse. Cub nodded.

“Tango, the master huntsman’s horse, Adequate.” He said. Cub looked at Adequate, then at Scar.

“Ah” Cub said. “Then there’s only one thing we should do…” Scar listened with rapt attention. Cubfan was a man who had survived a great deal in his long life, and had the expertise and wherewithal to match. Surely, he had a plan to get them both out of this situation. “…we should burn the evidence.” Cub said, making a spark of fire magic on his fingers.

It took them a minute to both get dressed and ready to go, Cub still rubbing his hand after Scar slapped the magic clean out of it. “I’m too old for this nonsense” Cub bemoaned.

“You and I are about the same age now” Scar said, “and we need to get that horse back before the both of us wind up mounted onto iCandy’s wall.” Cub stretched, cracking his back like a glowstick.

“Alright, alright fine.” Cub said, “But I’m riding up front. I’m old enough to appreciate a beauty like that now, and I fully intend to have my fun now that I’m young enough to enjoy it-“ he continued, strapping his coin bag to his belt with an audible clinking of gold, “-and rich enough to afford it.” Scar couldn’t argue with that logic, and followed him downstairs. The duo picked up some medicinal potions on their way out, and headed back to the town to track down the goblin Moss King.

ELSEWHERE….

Tango swore up and down that he would never take a job from that blasted, hunched creature ever again, no matter how much gold he promised. “Clear out the old abandoned castle, he says-” Tango muttered to himself, knocking another arrow and firing it directly into the face of a skeleton, “Its filled to the brim with gold, he says-” Tango rushed to the edge of a minecart, pushing it off and racing down the abandoned shaft, cleaving monster after monster in two as they chased after him. “I’ll watch your horse, he says! Then poof! Gone!” Tango could barely contain the fury in his words, “Now I’m stuck here in this damn castle in the middle of the day, clearing out hordes of monsters while that plant-encrusted goblin is running off to who-knows-where with my adequate!” A spider the size of a dog dropped from the ceiling as the minecart came to a crash, breaking down the sealed door that stood between the mineshaft and the castle interior. A few quick swings of his swords, and Tango was inside.

Earlier that day, a sad little creature had made its way into iCandy, and shambled up to Tango. He held out a bag of coins, and told Tango the saddest tale he’d ever heard. It was a story about a kingdom, fallen from glory, overridden by monsters that drove out the king and his people. The old king lay on his death bed, knowing his kingdom would never be his again, wished only to have the flag that still hung from his castle parapet to lay over his coffin once he was departed. The goblin, once saved by this king, had scrounged up all the gold he could, to hire a master huntsman like Tango to go and get the flag for his beloved king. His voice sounded so solemn, so pained….

How could Tango say no to that? The little creature sounded so distraught, so genuinely anguished at the thought. He should have known better than to trust a goblin. Impulse was off buying supplies for iCandy, and the little shit had approached him when no one else was around. How did Tango not see that that was a trick? In his fury, Tango bit down hard on a ghoul, ripping its throat out and filling his mouth with disgusting, rotting blood. He barely managed to swallow the blood down, the ghoul falling to the floor, as he raced through the corridors of the crumbling castle.

“When I get back, that damn goblin is as good as dead.” Tango bellowed, jumping up to the remains of an upper stairwell with his newfound strength. The fighting had begun to take a toll on him, and even the most rank, rotten blood was able to give him the boost he needed. “First he promises mines filled to the brim with treasures-“ Tango slashed his sword, knocking two skeletons off the stairwell, “-which I CAN HAVE if I go through and clear the mines-” Tango body slammed a ghoul, shoving it out of the way, “-all so that slimy little creature can steal my horse!” At the peak of the stairs, a witch was cleaved in two by the dual blades that lashed out from the furious vampire. “I’ll get you that damn flag, Bdubs. I’ll fucking bury you in it.”

-----------

Scar rubbed his temples as Impulse poured him and Cub a glass of water. Cub had been explaining the situation as best he could, given the number of holes in their collective memory. Scar took a tentative sip of the ice-cold water, the pain in his head slowly dissolving with the medicinal potions and hydration.

“So let me get this straight”, Impulse said, “You bought Tango’s horse…” Cub nodded.

“…from the Moss King, the goblin…” Cub nodded.

“…and you don’t know where he went.” Cub nodded again.

“…or if Tango actually did sell his beloved Adequate to the goblin?” Impulse finished asking, raising an eyebrow. Cub thought for a moment, then nodded solemnly. Adequate whinnied outside. Impulse rubbed the bridge of his nose, then offered a smile. “Well, at least you brought Adequate back. Tango will be thrilled to know, once he returns.” Scar and Cub looked at each other.

“Back from where?” they asked.

Impulse looked at them, his brow furrowing “I thought you might know.” He leaned onto the bar, closer to the two men, “You were the last two he was seen with.” His smile was sweet, but the owner of iCandy could present a very intimidating figure when he wanted to.

Scar and Cub looked at Impulse, then back to each other, then back to Impulse. Scar swallowed hard.

-------------

Tango was having a great deal of trouble finding footing in the high tower. The stone was crumbling, decrepit, and in desperate need of repair to say the least. He also was having to dodge the harsh midday rays of sun streaming in through the broken glass windows. He’d stopped on a particularly sturdy feeling balcony, nursing the cuts and scratches he’d gotten in the mines. He swore under his breath that he’d make sure that goblin died a slow and painful death the second he got that damn flag. Bracing himself, Tango wrapped his cloak around himself and dove forward.

The goblin had dragged him from iCandy in the early hours of the morning, after iCandy had closed for the night. The two had ridden to the outskirts of town, “Beware the mines,” the goblin had been saying “they’re full of tricks and traps and terrors.” Tango looked down at the goblin that shook in its boots at the mere description of what Tango was walking into.

“Don’t worry little guy,” he said, “I’m sure I can clear those monsters easily enough.” Adequate plodded under their feet, and a thought struck Tango. “How far is it to the mineshaft?”

The Moss King thought for a moment, then held up a map and a compass. “It’s far, but not far. We could make it on foot, yes, but it should be quick work with your beautiful horse here.” Tango patted Adequate.

“Maybe we finish the rest of the trip on foot, hmm?” Tango said, pulling Adequate to a stop. The Moss King looked confused. “I don’t want my precious horse to get hurt, besides….” Tango added, hopping off and holding the reigns, “I don’t think she’d fit in the mineshafts anyways.” The Moss King thought long and hard, then nodded with a heavy sigh. He hopped off the horse with ease, and took the reins from Tango. Tango looked at the goblin quizzically.

“Don’t worry, brave hero! You go on ahead. I will catch up. I will find us a good place to keep this beauty here” the goblin said, petting Adequate. The horse seemed to like the little goblin, and hadn’t bucked once while they were riding. Tango trusted the Moss King a little more, since he seemed to have the approval of his beloved horse.

“Alright, but don’t take too long. I’ll need that map and compass.” Tango held out a hand, as the Moss King deposited the items, “I can’t stay out during the day, for obvious reasons” he said, baring his fangs. The Moss King yelped and backed up a bit, nodding, “I understand, I understand! I’ll take care of this, you go! You go get the flags before it’s too late!” Tango nodded, and took off at a jog. He could make quite a pace now that he was a vampire, and while he didn’t much appreciate what he had to do to get these powers, it was nice to have these little advantages on a hunt like this one. He ducked off of the path not long after, having spotted two drunken revelers ambling down the path. The last thing he needed was two of the locals starting stories about a vampire charging right at them.

…meanwhile…

The Moss King was left standing in the road, holding onto the reins of a beautiful horse. Soon, he would be back to normal again. Soon…

He stroked the horse, and cooed at it. He would have to find a place to keep this beauty for now. He didn’t blame the hunter, not wanting to risk this fine specimen. A fiery red mustang was a hard horse to come by, even in his glory days! The goblin snickered to himself. It had been a long time since he’d been riding a horse, and it made him all the giddier to think that soon, he would be able to do so again.

His thoughts were interrupted by the off-key singing of two young men, quite attractive ones at that, ambling down the road in his direction. “What luck!” the Moss King thought, “I can pay these two to bring this horse to the stables! Surely, they will need the money. They look like they’ve spent all they had on liquor already!” He ambled over to the two of them, making sure to cover his hideous frame. Soon, soon he would stand tall again.

“Tha----aaaaattss a beauty!!!” Cub said, wobbling over to Adequate. “Ialhwayyyss wannnedd a mustanggg” he slurred. Scar teetered, laughing.

“You’vwhaanned that typpa horse since you were ffffourryy.” He giggled. He patted the horse.

The Moss King opened his mouth, ready to ask the two drunken youths if they could keep an eye on this beauty for him. To his horror, the curse took over.

“Fourty gold pieces for the beauty” the Moss King said, “A gold for every year you’ve wanted this beast.”

Curses. Curse his curse and curse him for letting himself be cursed so long ago. The Moss King swore to himself that he’d make things right, just as soon as the curse was lifted. The two boys were giddy with excitement, and readily paid. The Moss King’s curse forced him to take the payment, the gold glittering in his eyes. He was wholly overcome by greed, as the curse had long afflicted him so.

“Thankssomuch Mossman!” Cub said, hopping on.

“Whattta steal!” Scar said, snickering. The two rode off into town, joyous.

The Moss King hung his head low, and with his ill-gotten gains went to follow the huntsman. “Soon,” he thought to himself, “Soon…”

------

Tango lunged to the top of the tower. He was so close. He could see the flag billowing in the breeze. “You’ll have your horse and your gold once I have that flag!” the Moss King had said, his eyes glowing a sickening green as he locked the mineshaft behind Tango. Those words rang in his ears, driving him on. It had been hours since he’d started this hunt, and he was so close. He was so close.

The sun glittered off the flag mast, and Tango winced. He would have to jump for it.

----

“I REMEMBER NOW!” Scar said, pinned to the wall. Impulse was not one to lose his temper, but Cub had managed to talk him down after what Scar had said. Something about the recklessness of youth, he’d said.

“Good!” Impulse said with a grin that was beginning to look less than friendly. “Do tell me what happened after the Moss King LOCKED TANGO IN A MINESHAFT.” Scar nodded, tapping the hand that held him a good foot off the ground by his lapel.

“The goblin saw us and ran.” Scar said, “Towards the old king’s castle. He sounded very distraught.” Impulse lowered the sorcerer, and started to walk for the door. “We did catch up to him-” Scar said. Impulse whirled around and glowered, as if to say ‘continue’. Cub swallowed hard.

“We did. We caught that sneaky little bastard, and gave him what for.” Cub said, feigning putting his fists up. Impulse was avidly listening. “He said he’d hired Tango to clear out the mineshaft, and to get the flag from the mast for his king.” Impulse nodded, then grabbed both men by their shirts.

“Sounds like we know where your goblin friend has gone off to.” Impulse said with a sickening sweetness that spelled trouble for the hungover duo, “Let’s go make sure Tango is alright.”

----

The Moss King stood at the base of the castle. He had long tried to climb those steps, to defeat the monsters within and claim that flag, to no avail. In his current disheveled form, it didn’t matter how many times he made it to the peak. He could not reach the flag. The words rung out in his mind: “If you can find someone willing to help you by your 25th birthday, to drape the flag of your fallen kingdom over your shoulders before nightfall,” the man of the Hills had said, “then you will be released from your avarice, and from the form it gives you.”

“Soon,” the goblin said to himself, “Soon, I will be free of this curse.” He wrung his hands nervously. If anyone could do it, it was the famed hunter, Tango. He would give all the wealth in the world just to be able to stand up, human once more. His hope rose in his chest and stuck in his throat as he saw a cloaked figure rise to the top. He’d made it!

The figure winced in the sun. Oh, all hope was slowly draining from the poor figure of the former king. Tango was a vampire. He couldn’t go out in the midday sun. If his goblin eyes could cry, he would weep. Today was the final day. There would be no other. He looked up. The figure would surely end his suffering once he escaped that death trap that once was his home. He looked up, and to his amazement, he saw as the vampire leapt, and the flag fell.

----

Tango hissed as his skin burned from the slightest touch of the sun “I’m gonna kill him. I’m gonna kill that slimy little bastard. I’m going to wring his tiny little moss-encrusted neck. I swear it. I’m going to kill him, raise him from the dead, and kill him again, for fun” he muttered, clasping at the flag that he’d somehow managed to get. He managed to catch his breath, the pain still fresh and his ears still ringing from the stress. The castle was quiet, somehow. He breathed in, he breathed out slowly.

Wait, the castle was quiet now.

Tango’s guard was back up again immediately. This place had been crawling with monsters just before. Where did they go? He made his way cautiously back down. The steps seemed more firm, and the shattered glass seemed to have been swept away. There was magic in the air, and it hung on his tongue as he breathed.

What was happening?

----

Scar, Cub and Impulse came upon a most curious scene. The goblin king was jumping up and down, hooting and hollering, singing and dancing. They’d never seen such a joyous sight. It was the Moss King, to be certain, but they’d never seen the goblin like this. They approached, and the goblin made eye contact. He saw them. They saw him. They both paused for a moment, before the goblin took off at full speed into the castle, a sorcerer, alchemist, and jinn hot on his tail.

He burst through the doors of the castle, as easily as if they’d never been locked. Impulse stood back from the door, and Scar caught Cub before he stumbled in. The air was drenched in magic. Whatever was going on here, it was a strong and old magic. “Did someone…. Was this place cursed?” Impulse asked, under his breath. The goblin ran to the base of the stairs, frantically looking up for something. He seemed to begin looking even more frantically, having not found whatever it was he was looking for.

“Don’t go in there!” Scar said, holding Cub back.

“I know, I can tell too.” He responded. There was something in the air, thicker than humidity. Whatever magic was in this place had come to life, sprung out, and who knows what it could do.

Impulse gasped, “Tango!”

“I GOT YOU!!” Tango yelled, jumping the goblin as he frantically skittered about. He wrapped him in the flag like a net, and seemed to be trying to smother him.

“TANGO!” Impulse yelled, “Are you alright? What’s going on?” He took a step forward, and in a flash the castle seemed to exhale. Dust and webs and a litany of debris seemed to billow out of the old structure, clouding the sight of those at the entrance. “TANGO!!” Impulse yelled, diving in.

Scar heard the telltale smash of a glass bottle, as a barrier formed around him and Cub. The wind soon died down, and the view into the castle was clear. Impulse had pulled Tango off of the goblin, which Tango seemed non the happier for. There was a lump on the floor, entangled in the tattered remains of the flag that once stood atop the structure.

“Let go of me Impulse!” Tango struggled, “That little bastard deserves it!”

“Tango, you’re burned. Please! Some kind of magic is going on here-“ Impulse pleaded.

“I know! I know, and that little rat bastard is at the heart of it all! Let me at him!!” Tango bellowed.

Slowly, the tattered flag rustled as the Moss King began to stand up. What was once a very small figure seemed to grow, standing taller, until before the group stood a man, clad only in a moss cloak and a dark crown. He had bright eyes, dark hair, and…. Scar rubbed the dirt from his eyes… and he was quite handsome to look at. Scar looked at Cub, and Cub looked at him. It seems they both had noticed.

The… Moss King?.... The man looked down at his hands, and smiled brightly. He ran over, and practically tackled Tango in a hug.

“Thank you! Thank you brave warrior! You’ve freed me and my castle from this curse!!” he beamed. This was in fact the Moss King, but the voice that came from him was booming, giddy, and wholly human sounding. Tango winced, and Impulse pulled the man off of him.

“Tango, are you alright?” Impulse asked, wrapping the vampire in healing magic as best he could.

“….Bdubs?” Tango asked tentatively, looking the man standing before him up and down.

“Wait,” Cub said, “Bdubs? As in, King Bdubs? The guy that got cursed for his greed and lost his kingdom overnight?”

“That’s what happened here?” Scar asked. Cub nodded.

“Happened a while ago, I hadn’t heard what became of him afterwards. Guess we know now.” Cub shrugged.

The man nodded solemnly. “I was cursed by the man of the Hills for my avarice, and was bound to the form of a goblin unless someone gave my flag back to me” he said, “For that, Tango, I owe you a great debt. Please, let me know what I can do for you. Anything! Anything at all!”

Tango wriggled from Impulse’s hands, and grabbed the man by his mossy cloak “GIVE ME BACK MY HORSE” Tango bellowed.

The man blinked, his big bright eyes slowly realizing. “Oh! Of course! One second!” he pulled out the satchel of coins he’d taken from the men earlier. “HELLO young men! May I buy back that horse? I’m afraid it was not mine to sell!”

“YOU SOLD MY HORSE??” Tango yelled

“Sure thing buddy.” Cub said, coming back and getting the gold coins. “The horse is at the stables back at iCandy.” Cub counted the gold, ignoring the vampire nearly strangling the newly-renewed human.

Scar looked on at the great deal of commotion going on inside the castle, somewhat stuck in place until Cub’s arm locked into his and pulled him away.

“And now, we take our leave!” Cub whispered. Scar nodded, and followed stealthily while the tavern keeper, the vampire, and the moss king were heatedly discussing the ins and outs of how Tango was going to kill the king, who was avidly thanking him, all while Impulse was trying desperately to calm them both down.

It was a long walk back to Cubs place, and the sun was starting to set as they reached the door, utterly exhausted. Scar collapsed onto the nearby couch, as Cub closed the door behind him.

“Now THAT’S what I call a PARTY!” Cub said, “Ahh, its good to be young again.”

“I’m too old for this” Scar moaned.

#spicy chicken au #mojo chojo #jinn!impulse #sorcerer!scar #alchemist!cub #MossKingGoblin!Bdubs #the hangover - Spicy Chicken #fic #vampire!tango

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