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#they worked through ptsd together
gayofthefae · 5 months
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Do you ever think about how for El this scene came right after we saw her listing all of Brenner's atrocities and when she thought of the mind flayer she thought of Will and part of her anger at him was on her behalf and others but also on his for being victimized and how this is the first time she's seen him since thinking about that?
"How dare you do that to me? How dare you do that to them? How dare you do that to HIM? How dare you do that to us?" -> Willel reunion
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enigma-absolute · 3 months
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#rough day today with an emotional mess at the end#rough as in it wasn’t BAD just… I had low energy the entire time and lost the day really#I don’t know how my mom does it. she has it worse than me and she expects me to be more bounding and alive and USING my energy#buddy. pal. I got rude and angry because I was LOW and I DO NOT HAVE YOUR PAIN TOLERANCE THRESHOLD#on MULTIPLE levels. physical and emotional#you went to dental school in Otago in the 90’s. I did animation school 2019-2023.#you escaped communism and were a stranger in a strange land and married my father who became a bat from hell and you had to escape him#AND keep the kids in good schools and in God.#I didn’t. I was the child who had it worst on the spectrum and had the PTSD to crawl out of during high school.#of course THAT put a dampener on me growing up in several ways (and uh. being on this hellsite in 2014 didn’t help either)#mom I love you and you love me. we are clearly NOT the same ever#I’m a little over the age dad married you at first now. I do not have the same threshold nor tolerance as you. I AM more sensitive yeah#and I’m trying to work through it but damn it it is hard trying to stay soft in a world getting crueller.#and yet! I have my father’s face and eyes in anger! I wish I could be more kind and loving on low energy and I’m sorry!#I am genuinely an ass when I’m tired and ticked off and want none of your help and I wish I wasn’t! alas!#I do not! have! your threshold nor tolerance!#when I finally get myself together and have a full place to call my own. with bills and all to pay.#I will finally allow myself the relief of lying down onto the kitchen floor and sobbing.#in the knowledge and safety of solitude.#Chris rambles#AUGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH#vent
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nexttothelamp · 1 year
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Damn I love my wife so much it might kill me
#dude when i have NOTHING#i never have nothing#because i always have T#she makes my life SO wonderful#and dont get me wrong; my wife is a goblin who i have actively had to teach how to love over the years 🤣#but shes perfect. everything about her i wouldnt change a hair on her head#also turns out i have a body worship kink and thats perfect for a girl who needs SO much love#only took me a decade and a half to figure that out 🤣#bro we've been together ALMOST 12 YEARS NOW#and been friends for 14 🤣❤️❤️❤️#fuck. its so hard to live yunno?#like weve both got ptsd and we've worked our way through so much bullshit#abuse the death of her father being outed at the funeral#running from wv together to start a new life in the city#yunno she wrote her vows months before. i couldnt. i knew no matter what i tried to say it wouldnt be enough#not until i was there. i didnt know i could love her more everyday but i do#yunno as a kid i told myself no one could ever love me#but i ended up marrying my high school sweetheart?#she left a boy for me 🤣#and that doesnt EVEN MATTER ANYMORE ITS BEEN A DECADE#sigh. im in a mood#just dropped her off at work and cuddled in the car shamelessly#its hard to even be away from her for 8 hours#and the craziest thing about it? she feels thw same way about me 🤣#ive been so sick for over a year now#but T's always there. even when she cant be there she is. and i feel that#last night as we were going to bed#i remembered something horrific#she needed to get up early... but she still talked me down for an hour until i fell asleep in her arms#i. am so fucking lucky
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Random question, but fellow writers/readers:
At what point does portrayal of traumatic events and trauma recovery become romanticized, or when is the portrayal actually more harmful than it is an interesting story?
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kananjarus · 2 years
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I think at some point in the last year my mom has realized I might not give her grandchildren so instead she’s taken to pseudo-adopting every single one of my friends who are all misfit 20 somethings, who basically now camp in my backyard for fun and are apparently coming for thanksgiving (my mom texted them all individually for the invite it was actually very cute). 
as an only child I’ve suddenly found myself with five other siblings in the span of months right before I turn 30. what is my life right now
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bunnys-kisses · 1 month
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the jailbird
prisoner!simon 'ghost' riley
a full fic based on this post
cw: prison!au, civilian!reader, pen-pals, smut,romance/romantic!simon, domestic, missonary, wife kink, size kink, nudity, tattoo kink, body worship, cuddling
bunny says: like the fic? leave a comment! really like the fic? suggest your own! reblogs are always welcomed!
it started out as a flyer at the bus stop near your house. it was for a service that connected prisoners at a nearby prison with civilians as pen-pals. you had seen the flyer often over the course of work as you went to work.
you honestly felt bad, those people must be isolated. the organization prided itself on giving prisoners a bit of their humanity back by not cutting them off from those on the outside. so on a rainy friday you took a photo of the flyer and filled out the form on the organization's website.
that was how you met simon riley, or as he was called on the inside 'ghost'. what caught your attention wasn't his face scar that ran from under his nose down to the left side of his chin, but rather his brown eyes. how intense they stared into the camera. it was almost intimidating.
but you kept the photo on your desk as you typed out your first letter to send to him. you heard of places who did it through email, but screen time for those could often be limited and to send a physical letter would ensure that it would be sent to them.
the letter started out simple, you asked how he was and if it was okay to ask what he was in prison for. you asked him other questions, like if his health was doing well, what did he do most days while on the inside. you ended the letter with a little information about yourself.
you thought it would be nice to take a few photos and print them out on photo paper to be included with your letter. just so he had a better idea of who he was talking about. once you tweaked the letter with a bit of editing, you printed it out and thanks to the Royal Mail, your letter was sent to him.
you didn't actually expect for him to respond. nor did you expect for the letter to be do detailed. it was almost three pages double sided in neat hand writing. your eyes went wide when you saw the thickness of the envelope with the stamp of approval from the prison for it to be sent to you.
simon sent you a bracelet made of string that had been braided together. he said you were the first person from the outside to reach out since he got locked up. that broke your heart. it only broke further the more you read.
he was a military man who was tossed aside once the ptsd got too intense. he had been between jobs, and it felt like everything was just too much for him. he got wrapped up in large scale theft, while it paid good, you could only rob so many banks before it all caught up. he had been in for three years now, he was thankful it wasn't a life sentence. not much was stolen, and there was minimal violence. he said that his stature alone intimidated enough people that he didn't need to be violent.
you re-read his letters and it wouldn't be until almost six months of speaking that you finally wore the bracelet. when he said, "i want to see you in it, since i can't buy you a ring." you sent a photo of you wearing it and since then you hadn't taken it off.
the letters were nice, you sent them at least twice a week. even though you two had never met face to face, and the only photos you had of him were mugshots, he knew all the gossip in your work place. he knew the names of all your friends, your favourite saturday night treat and how you took your coffee.
he told you he'd be happy to make you coffee every morning before you went to work. that comment made your cheeks burn.
he often called you his 'wife' to the other prisoners. he had your photos on the wall near his bunk. he even kept the pictures where you looked terrible after you tried to cut your bangs one night. he knew the exact location of where your favourite take out was. he said that he was writing down ideas of where to take you once he got out. "i gotta make the missus feel special."
he even made you a birthday card. his cellmate 'soap' even signed it. you knew all about the explosives expert mactavish. when you looked into his case on the news, your eyes went a little wide. this guy was.. something.
simon did admit that 'soap' had a bit of a crush on you. but he said that 'johnny' was harmless and probably just liked the photo of a woman in the cell.
"he hurt ya, there will be no cell that could keep me from killin' him. no god either."
simon remembered everything.
the way he spoke about you and to you in his letters were nothing but soft. while he had to put on a tough guy exterior, his letters were filled with gentle words. like when he wrote out that he loved you in big text on a spare piece of paper so you could tape it on your mirror to look at every morning.
"i want to be what you get ready to."
"i want to be with you when you wake up."
"i want to come home to you every night. please make me an honest man."
you knew he was a trained killer. he was in special forces before his brief stint as a criminal. he was trained to kill, but in the margins of your letters, his love shined through. despite it all, he was capable of love.
and he wanted to pour all that love into you, his (future) wife.
you two would go on to write letters every week, for almost two years. when you got the letter from him asking if he could put you down as a permanent address when he got out, you cried. of course!
it was a cold spring morning, the sky was misty as you stood outside the gates of the prison. your heart raced, you even arrived early in the hopes he'd be released sooner.
and then you saw him.
those eyes. hard and stern, until he caught sight of you. his shoulder visibly dropped and his pace quickened as he made his way towards you. before you could step forward to meet him, he had you in his arms. his strong arms, littered with tattoos, wrapped around you as he held you close to his strong chest.
you held onto him as the air left your chest from the force he held you. you clutched onto his shoulders and choked out a sob. you squeaked, "holy shit."
he pulled away from you, but still kept you in his arms. you swore you saw minimal mistiness in his eyes. he reached to cup your face. he said quietly, "soft... like i imagined."
you beamed up at him, "of course, si."
"your voice is so nice." he groaned as he then pulled you close once more and buried his nose in your hair. he inhaled the scent of your shampoo and relaxed, "i'm home."
you thought transitioning from being the only person in the flat, to having this hulking, strong man in your home as well, was going to be a bit hard. but that didn't matter when simon got you through the door. his hands were on you, he promised on the universe that he'd romance you tomorrow.
but tonight was just going to be the two of you.
you managed to get his hands off you in order to get your shoes off before you led him to your bedroom. he was close behind you, he had a hand on one of your hips. he wanted to be as close to you as he could, you two had spent enough time apart.
you couldn't even close the bedroom door before he was pulling at the waistband on your pants. his calloused, strong hands felt delicate on you. it was like he was going to break you and he had to be as delicate as possible.
"si."
"i know, darling." he said quietly as he started to undress you. with your help the both of you were soon nude in the afternoon light in your bedroom. you tried to cover your chest with your arms but he pulled your arms away and looked at you.
your eyes met and you got up on your tip-toes to kiss him gently on the lips. soon he picked you up like you weighed less than a bag of potatoes.
he placed you on the bed gently when you half expected him to toss you like a shot-put. he admired your body down on your soft covers and soon got onto the bed too.
you reached for him as he pulled you into a tight kiss. his lips were chapped and you could tease the fresh skin underneath. your nails raked at his strong back, that you knew was covered in tattoos.
you wrapped your legs around him and held him. from a moment he dropped to his side and you two held each other. you tucked his head under your chin as you laid together naked.
it wasn't even meant to be sexually stimulating, you both just wanted to feel one another. to hear your lover's heartbeat meant more to you than anything in that moment.
you kissed the top of his head, you felt his blond hair against your face as you soaked in his warmth. you could almost cry from how nice it felt to be so close to him.
after everything, you had your man.
he said in his low tone, "you feel so soft. after everything, i have you. you made every day in the can worth it." he sighed, "thank you." he kissed at your bare chest.
you replied, "i loved your letters, i have them still." you chuckled, "i didn't want to throw any of them away. it made me feel closer."
"well. i'm not goin' anywhere." he looked up at you and smiled, "you're home and i'm finally here." he pulled away and got him between your legs. he rested on his knees and carefully moved you to his liking. he sat there between your legs and waited for your command.
you looked at him and nodded, "yeah, si. you can go." then tightened your legs around your lover. you held your breath as he slowly pushed his cock into you. you didn't realize how big it was until he was fully inside of you.
"are you alright, love?"
"golden."
the two of you moved together. it took a little bit to get used to the size, but the pressure and speed of his movements made heat spread through your body. like two pieces of the same puzzle, you fit together perfect soon after. it was like you two were always meant to be.
you felt so loved by him, it was so sweet. this was your first time with him and you only had a few sexual experiences with others prior to him. but the entire time you knew each other you didn't sleep with others, you wanted to wait for your man.
"that's my good wife." he groaned as he held onto your hips, "i know, you wanted this for a long time. i bet you thought about me when i was locked up."
you blushed and replied, "i did, si. i thought about you all the time, i even had your picture in my office. i wanted this, i wanted to be with you!" you whined a little as his cock dragged against a sensitive spot.
he chuckled softly, "yeah. i thought about my missus when i was locked up. i used to jerk off to your letters, your photos. messed one of 'em up by gettin' my spunk all over it." he licked his lips, "but now i can see it every day in person."
you smiled when he rested his body against you and continued to thrust up into you. you felt the curl of pleasure of your gut get together which each of his heavy thrusts.
the kisses you shared were intimate and hot. the air of your bedroom was warmed as you made love on the bed you would share together. your soft noises together filled the air.
you clenched onto him, you dug your nails into his shoulders. they were so strong and broad that they were much bigger than your hands.
he kissed you one last time as he quickened his pace. the bed moved against your movements as you both climaxed at the same time. it was like a shock to the system, the heightened euphoria before your head felt full of cotton.
you let out a soft groan as your grip on his loosened and you relaxed into the bed. you felt yourself partially get crushed by your lover but he gave a few more earnest thrusts as he made sure that his cum shot to the back of your womb.
he pulled out and dropped beside you. he tucked some hair behind your ear and wiped the sweat from your forehead with the back of his hand. your breathing was heavy, but you were both so happy. to share your first time together felt so special.
you nestled yourself into his arms and held his hand. you exhaled contently then said, "my husband."
he kissed the top of your head, he felt complete, "my missus."
part two
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hyperfixating-rn-brb · 6 months
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The Good Omens Fandom has had a lot of fun recently with the knowledge of Aziraphale and Crowley holding hands on the bus at the end of season 1.
Soo here's everything that went through my head as I learned of it for the first time.
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For that entire scene, Aziraphale is really far gone. He's dissociating so hard he can't even realize he's been sitting on a sword. Crowley is probably the only thing keeping him grounded.
They just narrowly stopped Armageddon after a showdown with literally Satan, and still can't let their guard down. For the first time ever, they're completely on their own side. Now they have to orchestrate a body swap to save both of them. They wouldn't just be killed, they'd be completely destroyed. Everything must go exactly according to plan, but how often does that actually happen?
And on top of that, his bookshop, his home, his safe place with the demon he has to pretend not to love is burned and gone.
Crowley is so incredibly gentle and reassuring this entire scene. He's been through so much trauma himself and has spent a lot of his existence shielding the angel from it, hoping to protect some of his innocence and naivete. Crowley is absolutely familiar with every symptom of PTSD and anxiety.
Now he has to see his sweet angel see such a small bit of the horrors of heaven and hell and start to crumble inside. He's going to do his dam best to try and help Aziraphale through it. Speaking softly, ("the bookshop burned down... remember?) slowly and carefully, gradually helping to pull the angel back to reality, reminding him that he's there and will help ground him.
They get on the bus, and sit next to each other. 11 years ago, they sat nearby but separated while Crowley begs Aziraphale to help him prevent the Apocalypse. Now they are sitting together. Both an act of reassurance and unity.
Crowley sits first, Aziraphale could so easily just sit across from him, behind or in front. But he chooses to sit right next to him. And hold his hand. Aziraphale desperately needs to be near to the *former* demon he loves, to hold him, to make sure they won't be separated.
In the book, their famous lines of "none of this would have worked out if you weren't, deep down, just a bit of a good person" and "just enough of a b*stard to be worth liking" came as Satan rose from the earth, as a goodbye in case they were destroyed.
Luckily, that didn't happen and they survived. Armaggedon was stopped. But the angel is still so anxious of losing Crowley. So he chooses to reach out, to anchor himself and reassure himself that Crowley is still there beside him and that they are okay, at least for a few minutes.
And Crowley let him. He knows how badly Aziraphale needs him, he needs the angel just as much. He knows how badly he craved an anchor and support system as he was first abused and traumatized by his Fall, then further by Hell. So he's going to continue being there for Aziraphale, doing everything he can to make his angel feel safe and comfortable.
Over the next few years, Aziraphale would become so much more comfortable reaching out and touching Crowley. Leaning into him, resting a hand on his shoulder or briefly touching his chest. Somehow both reassuring himself that the former demon was still there, and reminding Crowley that he's still there for him at the same time.
Then Crowley becomes more comfortable with the touch, leaning into the angel by himself. No longer flinching at a sudden graze of a hand or reassuring squeeze.
That one moment of the two holding hands on the bus cemented so much of their relationship. "The last few years, not really..." all started on that bus the moment Aziraphale chose to sit down next to Crowley.
edited: at first this said "new knowledge" because I just found out about this all the other day, and wrote this up at 3 AM, and didn't really fact check when this knowledge became well known. I've only really been a GO fan since maybe 2021, and only really started being active in the fandom during the last few months, so a lot of info that is fairly well known is still generally new to me. soo yeah this was edited :)
source for anyone asking for it!
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milkteahood · 2 months
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together through it all
Simon Riley x fem!reader
Summary: being there for Simon during one of his many night terrors
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“No! No! Fuck no! Please… please not her. DON’T TAKE HER AWAY FROM ME”
Sweat broke on Simon’s forehead as he jolted awake, gasping for air. Stumbling, almost as if running from something, he made it to the bathroom where he threw himself over the toilet, puking his guts out. His whole body was breaking in cold sweat, shaking, with a blurry vision.
He didn’t hear you come in and almost attacked you when you placed a hand on him. He stopped midway, eyes bloodshot, his body only shaking harder when he realized it was only you.
“Si? Baby, it’s ok” your soft voice echoed in his mind, hand running up and down his back as he started vomiting again.
It wasn’t the first time this happened. Simon had severe ptsd, and this reaction was nothing new. He tried to warn you, saying you wouldn’t be happy with him. To go find someone that can actually love you normally. But he didn’t get to decide for you. And over time you got better and better at helping him when needed.
“You’re ok Si” you spoke gently, using a towel to wipe the sweat off his face.
He didn’t respond, but when he finally looked up at you, his face was incredibly pale. His lips were losing color too, and his eyes were a little glossy. This panic attack was one of the worst you’d seen him have.
Your hands cupped his face, and without even realizing it, he leaned into your touch, almost to see if you were actually real.
“You’re ok now” you said. Again, he didn’t respond. His breathing was heavy, and he closed his eyes, leaning more into your touch.
You held him for a while, giving him time to relax. His head almost fell onto your chest and strong arms wrapped themselves around you. There was something different about all of it. The way he held you, as if he was almost afraid you would vanish into thin air.
“Do you feel alright enough to walk?” you asked, arms wrapped around his neck, holding his head close to your chest. He only nodded in response.
As you stood up, you gently helped him up too, using your body to support his.
Once you made it to the bedroom, he collapsed on the bed, but still refused to let go of you.
He didn’t speak, his body still slowly shaking as he buried his face deeper into your chest, taking in your scent, trying to convince himself you’re actually real. He’s not hallucinating. You’re indeed there, trying to wrap a blanket around him as he refuses to let you move.
Once the blanket was over both of you, you resumed your gentle touches, fingers running through his hair as his breathing was slowing. Your fingers worked like magic on him. Your patience, something he never saw himself worthy of. All the times he yelled at you during one of his episodes. And even now, he was about to attack you. He didn't understand why someone like you would put up with someone like him. He didn't deserve you, he was sure of that. But he will be damned before he lets anyone take you away from him.
“You’re ok now” you said again, kissing the top of his head “it’s just us here” you continued, nose nuzzling his hair.
He nodded, closing his eyes.
You only closed yours once you heard the soft snoring coming out of your lover’s mouth.
“I love you, Si” you said, earning yourself a little snore in return, which made you chuckle.
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pseudowho · 5 months
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Post-ShibuyaAU! Grey Nanami Kento Headcanons
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(help me find the Nanami artist in the banner, for crediting and thanks/permission!)
As an accompaniment to my story, Grey (link here); an AU where Nanami survives Shibuya exploration because I'm never going to be over his loss.
Warnings: Severe injury (burns, eye loss), PTSD, alcohol use, depression, light smut, angst, AU headcanons
Part 2 of Greynami Headcanons link here
Christmas Greynami Headcanons, link here
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Before he meets you:
AU!Nanami Kento who meanders, severely burned, skin still on fire with agony, with blurred vision to another atrium, thronging with transfigured humans.
AU!Nanami Kento who fights until the end, embracing his death, until Yuuji arrives at the eleventh hour.
AU!Nanami Kento who, despite being healed by Shoko, faces a grisly recovery, forever physically and psychologically scarred by the events of Shibuya.
AU!Nanami Kento who drinks more heavily than ever, trying to scare away the nightmares; waking up in cold sweats, burning alive and screaming.
AU!Nanami Kento who turns viciously on the hierarchy of Jujutsu High, blaming them for sending their staff and students to Shibuya like lambs to the slaughter.
AU!Nanami Kento who hands his notice in shortly after Shibuya; bitterly recognising the monsters of the world in the various forms, wishing to hunt freely without being at the beck and call of Jujutsu High.
AU!Nanami Kento, who embraces the vigilante life, still saving privately earned money for his early retirement.
AU!Nanami Kento with bruises on his thighs, cuts on his hands, because his depth perception fails him in day-to-day activities now .
AU!Nanami Kento who took up the cold-baths-in-your-clothes idea from Higuruma Hiromi, because his burns still prickle so tenderly even after being healed.
AU!Nanami Kento who looks in the mirror once a day and once only, disgusted by what he sees.
AU!Nanami Kento who is still on speed-dial for every student and every assistant at Jujutsu High, who begrudge him nothing, and still love him dearly.
AU!Nanami Kento who doesn't even need to use his Cursed energy to hunt down rapists, murderers and abusers.
AU!Nanami Kento who is informed by Ijichi of the goings-on in the school; where students are sent and when, if anyone is being sent to re-recruit him...which is how he learns you are being sent for him.
AU!Nanami Kento who throws himself into work, isolating himself from the world, bitter and jaded and so desperately lonely.
After he meets you:
AU!Nanami Kento who seduces you when you hunt him down, sensing a kindred spirit, and someone to keep him company even if just for one night.
AU!Nanami Kento who is surprised to wake to see you still there, soft, naked, and pressed against him.
AU!Nanami Kento who almost cries when you press soft kisses over his eye patch, not disgusted, not afraid.
AU!Nanami Kento who treats you like a queen, throwing his whole heart and soul into romancing you, never hesitating in his choice.
AU!Nanami Kento who eventually stops covering himself up at home, exiting the bathroom in just a towel, no eye patch, his good eye smiling softly at you, curled in his shirt on his sofa.
AU!Nanami Kento who re-embraces the music from his teenage years, insisting you listen to MCR, Tool, and Fall out Boy while you cook together, singing along badly, flour everywhere.
AU!Nanami Kento who, the first time he had a vicious nightmare with you in his bed, was ashamed and took himself alone out of the house for a walk in the dead of night.
AU!Nanami Kento who doesn't make it to the door alone the second time; your hand winds in his and you wrap a scarf gently around him, walking arm in arm through the orange glow of the streetlights until he feels calm enough to attempt sleep again.
AU!Nanami Kento who knew he loved you before; but now loves you obsessively, sweetly, deeply.
AU!Nanami Kento who gasps to life in the morning, feeling your warm mouth travel down his scarred abdomen below the covers, groaning in ecstasy as you take him into your mouth, his fingers tangling in your hair, relearning how to feel joy and pleasure.
AU!Nanami Kento who no longer hides his face in your neck while he rolls his hips gently against yours, drinking in your facial expressions and soft sighs as he takes you to the edge again and again.
AU!Nanami Kento who doesn't let you go to any of your kills alone; he comes with you, protecting you at every turn, but refuses to split your payment with him.
AU!Nanami Kento who doesn't know you've perfected a minor reverse-cursed healing technique, and you use it to heal the eye patch sores on his face while he sleeps.
AU!Nanami Kento who introduces you to Yuuji; Yuuji smiles so widely with pure honest joy, and Kento feels his heart might burst with pride.
AU!Nanami Kento who only semi-ironically considers Nobara a member of the One-Eyed Club, like him. Nobara loves it. She has badges made. Kento has one under his lapel at all points.
AU!Nanami Kento who learns that you always carry aloe-vera gel and a spare eye patch when you go out together, and his heart clenches with appreciation for you.
AU!Nanami Kento who, in return, starts carrying around pads and hair ties for you, but won't carry an umbrella; he knows you always bring one, and you'll be forced to share the same umbrella.
AU!Nanami Kento who loves when you buy clothes for him, choosing good materials and long sleeves which won't irritate his scars.
AU!Nanami Kento who is so proud to walk out of the coffee shop with two coffees and pastries now, instead of the lonely one.
AU!Nanami Kento who falls asleep against you when you wash his hair and tight scars in the bath, and definitely falls asleep with his head in your lap while you massage aloe into his burns.
AU!Nanami Kento who sees kids staring at his eye patch; he kneels down and quietly tells them that he's a pirate, but the good kind.
AU!Nanami Kento who suffers dreadful depression and flashbacks as Halloween approaches the first year you're together; by the second year, he agrees to dress up as the Phantom of the Opera and Christine together.
AU!Nanami Kento who has dinner with Ijichi, Ino, Higuruma and Kusakabe often.
AU!Nanami Kento, who knows Ijichi will always make a Jujutsu High car available for him, even though he's no longer employed by them. Ijichi, who always has Nanami Kento's back, and would fight anyone to the death for him.
AU!Nanami Kento who no longer sees himself as defined by his trauma, but instead as defined by the love you give him, and he gives you in return.
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Sigh. I adore Greynami.
Part 2 of Greynami Headcanons link here
@silkspunweb My smutty muse, and partner in crime, thank you ❤️
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peachesofteal · 4 months
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Light On - single mom/neighbor fic - PTSD, mentions of death, trauma Simon Riley/female reader
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Simon’s boots are sticking to the floor.
He had scrubbed and scrubbed them, scratched a sponge against the sole and up over the toe, used coiled wool to try to scrape the bits and pieces from the bottom, digging deeply into the cracks to try to dislodge anything leftover from the last month. The heat made it a particularly difficult task, melting together the dirt and blood, sealing it to the rubber in a congealed mess that he couldn’t clean off.
It’s spring now, and his breath doesn’t fog through the air like it did before he left. The mornings are coated in a prickly frozen dew that sparkles just right in the sunrise, refracting orange and pink hues into the building’s front lobby, washing over the bland egg white walls and coloring them into a spectacle, cold shadows of night chased away by the long fingers of warm daylight.
His boots scuff along the hallway, squeaking like they’re trying to announce his arrival, trying to give up his position before he deems it necessary, before he gets inside the entryway, blasting a signal through the flat that he’s home, that he’s made it. The sound of his boots competes with the buzzing that’s bouncing around in the back of his skull, sawing through the soft, pink mush of his brain, trying hack away at the only good pieces he has left. It’s gotten louder since he parked the car, competing with the drum beat of his heart, the churning of anxiety and anticipation in his stomach. He’s so, so close, and still a thousand miles away from you, even though he’s in the kitchen. His fingers grip fast to his bag, canvas straps twisted around his wrist, and he holds his breath, world rotating in slow motion as he listens for you, catches the musical note of your voice in Emma’s room. His spine stays stiff, unsure, and the buzzing that bites at his synapses gets louder, fills his head with the low rumble of fear that’s been simmering beneath the surface since he stepped out this door a month ago. You’re safe. You’re here. You and Emmaline are fine. You’ve been texting him everyday. You’re safe. You’re-
“Simon?” He blinks. You’re in the kitchen with him, eyes sleepy, Emma in your arms. One of his t shirts sits at your hips, plaid robe half falling off your shoulder. She’s more awake than you appear to be, and he begs his mouth to work, encourages his tongue to move so he can talk to you, so he can say “good morning, sorry I didn’t call, wanted to surprise you.” Or “hi, good morning, I missed you so much.”
But he can’t. Because all he can see, all he can taste, is blood. He doesn’t see his girl, he sees you broken and limp on the floor. He doesn’t see his baby, he sees Joseph’s lifeless body. He sees the carnage of this last op, hears the dying draw of a last breath, over and over.
“Hey.” Your fingers tentatively skim along his forearm. “You’re still dressed.” You note, and he nods, locked up, trying to push the buzzsaw in his brain away. He didn’t change, showered at the safe house before the flight home, and then immediately headed your way, his uniform clean, untouched by the gore and misery, still starched and formal unlike his tac gear, all of it made to wring the blood from its stitching over and over again. “Simon, someone wants to see you.” Emma’s now half in his arms, cooing at him, carefully supported in your hands, and he instinctively curls around her, swooping low to nose along her scalp.
The reverberations cease. The buzzing and gnawing and stabbing into his brain silences, just like that, and he fills his lungs with air, one hand now cradling your face, the other warm beneath Emma’s weight.
“Welcome home.” It’s a whisper, the softest, sweetest thing he’s ever heard, and he smiles beneath the balaclava, pressing his lips to your forehead. “We missed you.”
“I missed you too.” He murmurs. He wonders if the moment has passed, if he should be stepping away now, and he flexes, testing- only to be pulled back, an arm sliding around his back, anchoring him closer, tighter.
“Just stay here for a minute.” Stay. Stay here with you, stay with his girls. His voice roughens as he croaks out an answer.
“Always.”
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mimikyu-chr · 6 months
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Some days, DID looks like constant spacing out and never seeming fully there. Missed bits of conversations and a memory that doesn’t seem like it wants to work.
Sometimes it looks like talking to myself, constant internal noise and heightened sensory sensitivity.
Some days DID looks like being emotional for seemingly no reason, crying, laughing, anger over something I don’t know, emotional bleed-through from other alters.
Other days it just looks like severe PTSD. Avoidance, spacing out, needing help to ground myself. Flashbacks that I honestly can’t remember the triggers of, or remember the full event of, but that I know are flashbacks.
And sometimes it just looks like nothing at all. I seem put-together and relatively normal. You’d never know I had a dissociative disorder.
The day-to-day severity of my symptoms do not determine what mental illness I have. I still have DID and I still struggle with it whether you can see it or not.
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lycantherous · 2 years
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I had contacted the board of parole before my brother was released with no response, been calling also no response. Now that he has moved back in I'm scared I might get kicked out when/if hes issued a no contact order
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confusedraven1 · 8 months
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my favorite thing so far about season 2 is how, no matter what, the crew of the revenge actively chooses their found family, over and over again
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• swede loves and is married to jackie, but double crosses her anyway because of his love and “life debt” for his family
• stede leaves ricky at jackie’z, despite ricky being inexperienced, because he’s fucking around and they all need to leave. stede’s not gonna risk his family just because ricky wants some sort of recognition for something he barely helped with
• oluwande leaves zheng yi sao because he’ll be damned if he leaves jim, who he’s reiterated that they’re family for him
• frenchie and jim disobeys ed’s orders and save izzy’s life because, as jim says, “he’s THEIR dick.” archie follows along cause she knows it’s fucked up and wants to stay by jim’s side
• izzy has chosen ed over and over again, and would’ve continued to if ed had accepted the help he desperately needed, but ed isolates himself and pushes izzy to the point where he HAS to choose the rest of the crew instead
• roach, wee john, and pete all get jobs on the red flag that play to their strengths and they enjoy IMMENSELY, but they go back to the revenge cause there’s no world where they wouldn’t. buttons had the opportunity to probably get more sea witch info and tools from auntie, but he also wouldn’t ever choose that over the crew
• lucius is PISSED at stede, and has a ton of ptsd to work through. i imagine he probably felt somewhat safe finally on the red flag. but after talking things through with stede and pete, i know that it was a no brainer for him as well. he’d never give pete up again after that kind of separation
• even though stede is loving the experience of seeing zheng yi sao doing what she does best and the (seemingly) warm and comforting environment on the red flag, he chooses to rescue the crew, even izzy, and take back their ship. because he knows they would choose him (and did during the act of grace, minus izzy). he’s bringing their family back together despite everything else
• i would say that the crew still with ed DID choose him, constantly. any other crew would’ve mutinied WAY before they did, but they love ed and hoped things would get better despite his behavior saying otherwise. the only times they didn’t choose him was out of self-preservation
• ed became a self-fulfilling prophecy and isolated himself. i would argue that he’s the one exception here. he actively chooses to disregard his family because of his self-loathing and deluded himself into thinking they wouldn’t choose him. BUT, in the end, he finally does because stede cast him that line. he chose to live for himself, of course, but i like to think that that decision was also to come back to the one person that truly felt like family for him
i am so fucking excited to see all of the other ways they’re going to choose each other, yet also keep each other accountable for the things they do. because they’re family
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sunsetsimon · 7 months
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simon 'ghost' riley x reader
mentions of ptsd, abuse, torture, touch aversion, nightmares
always remember, you are loved and cared for. reach out if you need help, i am always here to provide resources. you are not alone, do not go through this alone.
─────── ⋆⋅☼⋅⋆ ───────
☼ jealousy. it wasn't a feeling that simon felt often, and not in the ways most people experienced it, he could care less about any materialistic items. his jealousy would stir in his stomach when he saw people doing to them - normal things. a hug goodbye, holding hands, it was all foreign to him.
he's used to a playful punch from soap or a pat on the shoulder from price, but he never initiates. when you first get together, he's uncomfortable with physical affection and will often unintentionally shut you down. your hand will reach for his but he doesn't move, not even noticing you attempting to touch him. he won't hug you before he leaves, only giving a nod and heading out.
he knows it hurts you but it's hard.
slowly he works on it, giving a loving squeeze and reaching for your hand, but it's a long process before it becomes an unconscious habit.
☼ simon doesn't sleep much to begin with, but when it gets bad, he starts to have nightmares almost every night. they're intense, seeming to last forever, as if he'd lived days in the dream. his sleepy mumbling will turn into physical reactions, his body starting to twitch, fists clenching so hard his knuckles turn white. gasping awake he shoots up, his hand immediately on his gun and ready for combat. he's sweaty, heart beating so fast it seemed like it'd jump out of his chest.
"you okay, si?" you whisper from beside him, snapping him back to reality. simon takes a deep breath, setting his pistol back down on the nightstand, unable to speak. immediately you recognize it was another nightmare, reaching out to place a comforting hand on his back. his head drops into his hands, needing to take time to relearn what his reality is; he's home, he's with you.
but fuck, why doesn't it feel that way then? why is he haunted every time he closes his eyes?
"'m so tired," he mumbles, fighting back tears of frustration and pain, trying not to question what he did to deserve this hell he calls his own mind.
"i know si... i wish i could take it all away," you attempt to comfort him, but know that nothing you do could help him right now, he just needs time. he gives your arm a pat before standing up, leaving to take time for himself. you hear his footsteps trail down the stairs and a door open, simon deciding to retreat to the garage for the next few hours until he feels okay again.
☼ he wouldn’t ever tell you what actually happened to him, just making vague comments here and there when the opportunity arises. he's scared to talk about it, not wanting to remember anything or try to process it.
your soft fingers trail along the pale scars littered across his skin, wondering what must've happened to him, all the pain he's been through. you stop at a small one on his left wrist, "how'd you get this one?"
"my dad was a piece of shit," and he leaves it at that. you don't push any further, accepting the curt answer with a nod. you softly kiss the scar, beautiful eyes flickering to his. it's things like this that slowly heal him, and instead of thinking of the pain that came with each scar, he thinks of your lips kissing each one as if that'd make it all better. you make it all better.
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froggibus · 1 month
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hiiiiiii i just wanna say i love ur work so much. i was wondering if i could request a jason todd hurt/comfort fic. i recently had a really scary experience outside of a bar, and it has been taking a toll on me. maybe something like reader and jason fight over something silly, and then something like that happens to reader and he comforts them after and feels bad about the fight before? with a lot of fluff and reassurance. maybe he gives them a bath or something:) THANK YOUUUU
Never Let Me Go - Jason Todd
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Pairing: Jason Todd x gn! reader
Genre: hurt/comfort, angst -> fluff
Word Count: 2.3k
Summary: after an argument with Jason, you're left to fend for yourself outside of a bar
CW: attempted assault, attempted SA, chasing, slight violence, dissociation/shock (reader), arguing, alcohol, hurt/comfort, pet names (Jason calls reader baby/hun), bathing together, jason is snarky at first
sorry this took so long! really hope you're feeling better, but if you (or anyone else reading this) ever need to talk, my inbox is always open <3 i talk about my own struggles with ptsd on this blog, and i want everyone to be able to feel safe enough to talk about theirs, too
i tried to keep the assault scene short and brief, but i've also added cuts before and after in case anyone would like to skip it.
(title slightly based on this song)
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“You know that stuff is pure sugar and no alcohol, right?” 
You roll your eyes when Jason gestures to your drink with a look of distaste, hiding his snark behind the rim of his glass. You’re tempted to remind him that the foamy beer he’s pounding back has even less alcohol than your Cosmo, but think the better of it. He’s in a bitchy mood, and there’s no point making it worse.
He’d gotten into a fight with Bruce the night before, and had practically gone on a rampage through Gotham’s underground. The anger radiated off of him still when he’d showed up at your apartment an hour earlier, even after he’d flashed you a tense smile and planted a tentative kiss to your lips.
You’d told him at least three times since then that he didn’t have to come with you—given the bar was around the corner from your home, and you could stumble home from it drunk, backwards and in your sleep—but Jason had insisted. As if you ever thought Jason would be able to relax knowing you’re out at a bar in the heart of Gotham, despite your assertions that you would only be having a couple drinks and maybe some chili fries.
You swish your glass around, watching the raspberry coloured booze slosh on the sides. “We can go home if you’re not feeling up to this,” you say gently. “I don’t mind.”
He gives his broad shoulders an irritating shrug. “You wanted to get out of the house, we’re out of the house.” 
Though he doesn’t say it, you can hear the unspoken words crackling through the air. What more do you want from me?
“But do you want to leave?”
Jason’s eyes narrow, black pupils forcing out imperial blue. “I go where you go.”
It takes more effort than you’d like to admit to resist tugging at your hair. Though it’s been years since he lived in Wayne Manor, and even longer since he studied under Bruce, the lessons he learned have never left him. Including this form of aggravating, diplomatic speech where his answers gave no answers at all.
“Whatever,” you sigh under your breath, crossing your legs and tilting your body back to your drink.
Jason scoffs, “whatever? Really?”
“Yes, really!” You’re grateful that the mix of conversations and the drone of 90s rock are loud enough to cover up your rising voice. “I just wanted to get out of the house for once and you’re being mean.”
“I’m being mean?” There’s a cruel smirk on his lips. “The only reason I’m here is because of you, so that you wouldn’t have to be alone.”
“I never asked for that.”
Your heart races painfully in your chest. You’ve never liked arguing, especially not in public when the both of you have been drinking and especially not when Jason is already chafing under the expectations of others. It’s a nightmarish combination that leaves electricity sizzling in the air and everyone in the room on edge.
He chugs the rest of his beer, not even bothering to wipe away the tiny bit of white foam that catches on the shadow above his upper lip. “Fine then,” he grumbles, and tosses a fifty onto the counter. “I’ll see you.”
He leaves no room for protest, already barreling his way through the tables. By the time you’ve even processed what just happened, he’s already at the door, back muscles tensing beneath brown leather as he yanks it open hard enough to shake the hinges.
You wait until you hear the familiar rev of his motorcycle before ordering another round.
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It’s late by the time you decide to pay your tab and head home. Your phone has long since been dead weight in your pocket, but even if it weren’t, you wouldn’t have bothered to check it. There was a part of you that hoped Jason would come back, that he would apologize, but that part is about as dead as your phone is.
It’s brisk outside now, and cold rain sprinkles from above. The dark rain clouds block out the moon, dim flickering street lights the only light you can see. You take a long, deep breath that clouds the air as you release it, rubbing your freezing forearms. Home is just around the corner, but that’s still an eight minute walk. Minimum.
A groan slips past your lips as you lean against the outside of the building, peering into the dark streets for any sign of a cab. A rock skids across the ground to your left and you snap your head in the direction it came from.
A man saunters towards you, his body encased in shadows. “Need a ride?”
A shiver rises up your spine. You shuffle further to your right, trying to put more distance between you and the stranger. 
He doesn’t take the hint. He moves closer, purposefully slamming his boots harder into the ground to get your attention. “I said,” he repeats, “do you need a ride?”
“No,” you swallow hard, adding a quick, “thank you.”
You don’t know this man, but you despise him. You despise his imposition, the southern twang of his voice, the fact you’re instinctually polite to him so that you don’t risk pissing him off.
Despite your plea, he keeps coming towards you. “I reckon you do.”
The alarm bells in your head start to shriek. You shove off of the wall, stumbling only slightly before you regain your balance and take off down the sidewalk. It’s dark and though you can no longer see him when you glance over your shoulder, you can hear the pounding of his boots on the pavement behind you.
And then his cold, clammy hands lock around your wrist and tug you hard. You strain against his grasp, using your entire body weight to get away, to go anywhere but here.
He’s so close you can smell the alcohol on his breath, feel the warmth of his body. Not warm the way Jason is, but warm the way a fire you shouldn’t go near is. You cry out desperately. The bar is still within sight, someone has to come out, someone has to see.
“Why not just let me show you a good time?” He says, “I’m a really nice guy if you give me a chance.”
You drive your elbow into his arm and his grip loosens enough for you to tug away. You rip your wrist from his grasp, but as you do, you lose your balance and crash onto the dirty, wet Gotham pavement. With how cold you are and the adrenaline your heart is furiously pumping through your body, you barely feel the impact.
You can’t see the expression on his face as you drag yourself across the pavement, but you hear a low chuckle. You imagine it’s similar to that of a wolf zeroing in on its prey.
And then, a booming voice cuts through the darkness. “What the fuck are you doing?”
Jason sounds pissed, but it's maybe the most beautiful thing you’ve ever heard. The most beautiful string of words in the English language.
The man spins on his heels away from you just in time to catch a harsh uppercut to the face. A loud crack reverberates through the buildings, and he goes down like a sack of potatoes on the concrete next to you.
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You let out a breath you didn’t realize you were holding, looking up at Jason through your lashes. “You’re—how?”
“Oh, baby. Baby, baby,” he sighs, dropping to his knees on the pavement next to you. His new jeans are probably ruined from touching the ground—as are yours—but that seems to be the least of his concerns right now.
He cradles your head in his lap, his hands trailing up your damp, aching skin for any sign of injury. You shiver, closing your eyes and letting Jason hold you. The adrenaline flooding your veins has not yet diluted, and the calloused warmth from Jason’s hands is the only thing keeping you from floating away.
“I didn’t leave, baby, would never leave you. I was waiting around back when I heard you and,” he sighs, “I’m so sorry.”
His words are faint, so faint, and more gentle than you’ve ever heard him speak. Though he clutches you tightly to him, the feeling registers as barely a whisper. And then you’re on your feet, propped up against his side as he helps you back to where he propped his bike.
Your mind is somewhere else now. You’d have completely forgotten about your own body if it weren’t for the frantic, rhythmic shove of Jason’s heart against his ribcage with every step you take.
You’re not sure how you got back to your apartment, but you’re sure it was through no small effort on Jason’s part. Your waist is warm from where his hand rests—he’s refused to let you go for even a moment since he saw you on that pavement. 
You shiver violently even after you return to the warmth of your home. Jason had wrapped you in his jacket but even that did little to stop the shaking. 
He cups your face, a soft intensity in his eyes. “Let’s get you warmed up, hm?”
You barely react to his touch, or to his words. It doesn’t take a genius to know you’re in shock—Jason’s seen it more than enough times in his lifetime to recognize it at a glance. 
The shivering, that faraway and glassy look in your eyes, the way your lips move as if they’ll form words but no sound comes out. Your pupils themselves have almost doubled in size from the adrenaline coursing through your system. 
He’d take the crowbar a thousand damn times if it meant he would never have to see you like this. He would give away all that he has, and all that he is, to never subject you to this kind of pain.
“I’ll be right back,” he says, and starts towards the dark hallway leading to your bedroom and bathroom.
You let out a choked gasp—the most sound you’ve managed since earlier—and Jason whips around. Blue eyes snap to yours, looking more like broken glass through the tears catching on your own lashes. 
Don’t leave, you want to say. Not even for a minute, not even for a second. But your words fail you, and all you have to fall back on is a gasp of air and the tears in your eyes.
Jason understands, though. “Let’s go together, then.”
He grabs one of your hands in his, and holds your waist with the other. You walk like that down the hall, Jason holding you tight and guiding you to your bathroom. He helps you settle down on the toilet seat while he runs a hot bath.
Jason has you sit on the side of the bathtub, only your bare feet resting in the warm water. He sits with you, his legs on either side of your own and his arms around your waist. Already, the shaking has subsided and your eyes have started to clear. Relief floods his system, wiping away the guilt that’s been bubbling in his stomach.
He waits a few minutes, before saying, “let’s get you out of those clothes and into the bath.”
It’s posed more like a question, his fingers tracing inquisitive circles on your hip. He’s asking, you realize, if it would be okay for him to help you undress. If you’re comfortable being naked in front of him right now. The kindness of the gesture has your shoulders dropping from your ears.
“Y-yeah,” you manage.
Jason keeps his touch firm, steady, while he peels your dirty shirt over your head. He has you raise your feet above the water so he can help you with your pants and underwear, discarding your clothes in a pile on the tiled floor. 
He squeezes your shoulders reassuringly when he sees you hesitate at the side of the bathtub before finally stepping in and letting your aching body settle in the warm water. 
It’s an immediate relief. The chill your skin has taken on, the ice running through your blood, starts to defrost. 
Jason watches you relax into the warm porcelain, your impossibly tense muscles finally loosening. “Feeling any better?” He asks quietly.
“I’m sorry,” you mumble quietly.
He grabs a washcloth from the drawer beneath the counter. “Hey, none of that.”
“I just,” you take a deep, shaking breath, “if we had never gone out tonight, none of this would have happened and you wouldn’t have had to help me and—”
Jason splashes warm water over your head. “None of that,” he repeats. “I don’t want to hear any of that.”
“But—”
“Nothing that happened tonight was any fault of yours.” He brushes the wet washcloth across your face, wiping away stray tears. “You did nothing wrong. I should never have left you, plain and simple.”
“It’s not your fault either, Jay.”
He strokes the washcloth over your forehead. “I’m supposed to protect you, hun. I didn’t do a very good job of it tonight.”
“Get in here with me?” You clutch his forearm.
He chuckles. It’s been a very, very long time since Jason Todd could comfortably fit in a normal sized bathtub, but for you, he’d do anything. He’s  gentle climbing in the bath behind you, propping his legs around the outside of yours so you can comfortably lay back on him.
It’s a cramped fit, it couldn’t possibly be comfortable for anyone—but Jason sucks it up for your sake. Despite the ways his knees ache from the angle he keeps his legs, it all feels worth it when you lay your head on his chest.
“Thank you for being here,” you say quietly.
He plants a gentle kiss on the top of your head. “For you? Anything.”
And you know he means it.
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Masterlist | DC Masterlist
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soullessdianthus · 10 months
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𝐂𝐨𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐡𝐨𝐦𝐞 | 𝐒𝐢𝐦𝐨𝐧 "𝐆𝐡𝐨𝐬𝐭" 𝐑𝐢𝐥𝐞𝐲
Summary: Your boyfriend returns from the latest deployment and you're ready to spend a nice evening together. But his past haunts him especially during the night while you lay in his arms.
A/N: I needed comfort, okay? HE NEEDED IT. That's it, just snuggling and stuff. Enjoy.
Warnings: generally comfort/fluff, mentions of miliatry and related PTSD, a hint of past intercourse
Word count: 1.3k
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When he finally arrived at the apartament and locked the doors behind his hunched back, Simon let out a loud sigh. The tips of his coarse fingers brushed against the blonde hair on his occiput. He put down black hockey bag and made his way to the living room.
━ Simon! 
A voice so familiar and heartwarming made his tired body spark with a dash of joy. He turned around to face you just in time, as your legs wrapped around his hips in a cheerful hop.
He caught you by your thighs and hoisted even higher to secure your form. 
━ Missed you too, luv. ━ Simon stated happily, when you pressed a soft kiss onto the new scar on his jawline. Perhaps, it was one of the old ones, but you hadn’t noticed it earlier? You couldn’t remember, if the little detail was there before his deployment on the other side of the world.
Simon slowly put you down onto the floor, a subtle smile forming on his lips. You, on the other hand, were a breathing and living spark of joy. 
━ Go take a shower, I’ll be waiting with dinner. ━ You instructed him, as your eyes roamed over his toned body, searching for any serious injuries. 
━ I reek, eh? 
The blonde man placed his palms over the sides of your pretty face just as he leaned to kiss your forehead. Riley inhaled the lovely scent of your hair - it made him feel home.
━ Just a little ━ you said jokingly, looking up into your boyfriend’s dark eyes. His almost black gaze usually scared people, reminding them of nothingness. But you thought he had beautiful eyes. The most beautiful you’d ever seen. ━ Go on. 
You gently pulled his hand towards the cozy bathroom, encouraging him to take a warm shower. The room was still steamy as you ran a bath for yourself not so long ago. The ends of your hair still curled due to wetness. 
Simon took a look over the counter and saw already prepared clean clothes, folded impeccably and smelling of your favorite detergent. He looked in the mirror and reminded himself how lucky he was to have you. 
Around fifteen minutes passed and your lieutenant joined you in the kitchen. His strong arms sneaked from behind, entangling around your waist. Simon hummed, being curious about the delicious smell.
━ It’s just some pasta with pesto, something easily digestible for the night. ━ You explained, sprinkling the ingredients with some grated cheese. Simon never complained about your cooking, it was impeccable. The two of you enjoyed preparing meals together if his work allowed some time for that. 
 Both of you sat down to the dining table, close to each other. He ate and listened patiently as you flooded him with the latest gossip from your work, neighborhood or mutual friends. 
You never asked him about his missions if he hadn’t addressed the subject himself. You knew the toll the work had on him. And not only the military assignments. Simon went through a lot of tough things in his life, leaving him with a post traumatic stress disorder that resurfaced in the most random moments. 
But you were there for him, always.
━ You wanna pick out the movie? I’m going to change, okay? ━ You suggested your boyfriend, when you finished the meal and cleaned afterwards. Simon nodded, approving of such plans.
He was a man simple to please.
You returned to him - a blonde man sitting comfortably on the couch, his eyes lingering up and down your form - particularly your hips flirtatiously swaying to the sides. You changed into the pastel blue nightgown he bought you last year. It was silk, a material which poured between one’s fingers. 
Just like you, between Simon’s fingers on a stormy night, when he pressed his forehead to yours, taking in each short breath you gasped out in pleasure. He savored them, so the lieutenant could recall them when he was away on a mission.
You sat down on the couch next to him. But before you could make yourself comfortable, Simon pulled your bare legs over his lap. Your cheek rested upon his collarbone, a delicate palm spreaded across his chest.
Oh, how much you missed him. All of him.
His body was pleasantly radiating warmth. Simon’s slowed and steady breathing, which raised the ribcage of his, eventually lulled you to sleep. It was a tough week for both of you. 
You meant to spend that evening with him, talking about the things he missed while deployment. But it was hard to fight the sweet sleep, when Simon snuck one of his hands over your scalp and began to gently rub your head.
It wasn’t long before he noticed - your body stilled, muscles absolutely relaxed against him. Simon let you lay beside him until the movie ended. It was the right time to go to bed.
You woke up, feeling his arms scooping under your knees and head. The urge to shift and stand up on your own legs was suppressed by his calm approach.
━ I’m sorry. Didn’t mean to fall asleep. ━ You apologized to him, the tone of your voice dreamy, half-asleep, while he carried both of you to the bedroom. 
━ ‘s okay. I’ve got you. 
The night was calm. Beside the pouring rain, heavy droplets banging on the windows and its sill - a charm of the country you lived in. The tapping melody brought the both of you a deep sleep, your body clinging to Simon’s chest. 
It always felt safe - falling asleep next to him, when the person was the most vulnerable. At the beginning of your relationship, the soldier found it hard to sleep through the whole night peacefully. But as the time passed by, he grew to be more comfortable around his partner. Such thing as sleep was… quite intimate to lieutenant Riley.
But there were nights, more difficult and frightening than the others, when the horror of Ghost’s past resurfaced. 
He was sweating, each muscle flexing for a painful amount of time. But it was his heavy breathing, muffled whispers that woke you up. 
You slowly pulled away and sat on the bed beside him. Always next to him. At first, you wanted to rub his tattooed forearm, but deep down you knew, that sudden touch can startle him even more. 
━ Simon? ━ Your sweet, sleepy voice echoed somewhere in his consciousness, slowly pulling him out of the bloodshed. ━ Simon. You’re home.
Simon.
His dark eyes finally shot open as he inhaled sharply. Almost like he just had sleep apnea’s attack. Which you knew wasn’t the real cause. 
━ Fuck ━ the blonde groaned, wiping his eyes. ━ Sorry, luv. 
━ It’s okay. Do you need something? Water, pills? 
You offered him help, at least as much as you could actually help to ease his pain. Now, when he was awake, your gentle touch began to caress his arm. 
━ Just you. 
Simon waited until you laid back down. And when you did so, he pressed his head into your collarbones and cleavage. Both of his limbs wrapped around your upper body, pulling you closer. His nose was almost squashed with your ribcage, but it didn’t matter. As long as he could feel your sweet smell. 
Your palms wandered for a while over his occiput, massaging his aching head and brushing through his blonde hair. 
Only when you felt his breaths slow down and when his heartbeat droped, you managed to fall back asleep. Knowing he managed to push his nightmares aside for you. 
His home.
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