Batfam AU where Jason never dies, so Tim doesn't join the family the standard way. Instead, he continues pouring most of his time and energy into his photography, eventually becoming known as a popular photographer for events and all that. So now, picture this:
Tim gets hired to be a photographer for a Wayne gala. Obviously, he's ecstatic, because he can take pictures of Batman, Robin and Nightwing and be in their presence for a whole night. Since Tim is so naturally talented in stealth and taking pictures unnoticed, the second one of the fam realises this they're like: this kid is good.
Tim manages to go unnoticed by all 3 of them (all bat-trained, one literally batman) multiple times during the night, and even when he is noticed, he disappears before they can manage to get a good look at him; to the sheer amazement of Dick and Jason.
Jason, (very discreetly putting snacks in his suit pocket): i know you're under the table, kid.
Tim: don't mind me, Mr. Todd-Wayne, sir, just taking a few pictures
Jason: right... Jason's fine, and what pictures were you taking from under the table?!
Tim, showing him perfectly good shots of him: these.
Jason: how did you get that. it looks like you took it from the rafters
Tim, nodding: I did.
Jason, glancing at the ceiling: ...what?
Tim, gone:
Jason: no fucking way.
Dick, hearing a very, very faint camera shutter from behind him:
Dick, turning around and finding no one there: what the actual...
Dick, getting the feeling of being watched and whirling around to find Tim staring at him from across the room: ... huh.
Jason, pulling Dick aside: you see that kid too, right?!
Dick, nodding: the camera kid, yeah?
Jason: who is that.
Dick: he's one of the hired photographers, apparently. one of the best in his field, despite his age.
Jason: he's good. like, really good. snuck up on me 4 times already, the little bastard.
Dick: you too? i swear he's constantly watching. it's creepy how well he can sneak past both of us.
Jason:
Dick:
Jason: you don't think...
Dick: no. B would've told us.
Jason:
Dick:
Dick: did he get another kid and not tell us somehow
Bruce: what do you mean another kid?
Jason: you heard us. did you adopt another kid and not tell us?!
Bruce: no?? how would I even?? ... what's this about?
Dick: one of the photographers has managed to sneak up on both me and Jay multiple times already
Bruce: what.
Jason: he also can't be more than like. 15 or 16. so forgive us for assuming you took another one in.
Bruce: do you know his name?
Dick:
Jason:
Bruce: really?
Dick: in our defence, he's very hard to catch. i wouldn't be surprised if he's snuck up on you, too.
[camera shutter noise]
All of them, whipping their heads toward the sound only to find nothing but air:
Tim, smiling from the other side of the room:
Jason: do you see what we mean?!
Cue an entire night of shenanigans where it's just Dick, Jason and Bruce trying to catch Tim and learn about him. Upon finding out who he is and where he lives, Dick immediately asks to keep him as an honorary member of the family. Jason is hesitant at first but at some point Tim calls Bruce Batman instead of Mr. Wayne on accident and Jason laughs so hard he's basically won over. Bruce can do nothing but watch as Tim proceeds to come over almost every night for sleepovers and is coddled by both of his sons. And he can't deny, the kid's investigation and stealth skills are top tier. By the time Dick and Jason both start referring to Tim as 'their younger brother' Bruce has just accepted his fate.
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that last sentence is so powerful considering everything that's going on
including recent events in which french senators are currently trying to pass a bill to criminalize critiqueing the state of israel/ speaking up against zionism: "those who insult the state of israel would face two years imprisonment and a fine of EUR 75,000 "
imagine making it illegal to speak up against a state that has bombed civilians with white phosphorus
imagine making it illegal to speak up against a state that is carrying out collective punishment against the entire population in Gaza, as we speak
this might soon be the world we live in
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i have seen 3 different takes IN A ROW of xenk from the dnd movie OBVIOUSLY representing:
the DM's friend who wanted to bring his high level character in to play for one session
an NPC the DM realized was OP and couldn't let stay with the party
the one friend in the group whose schedule is never open, so the one time they actually make it they get to do all the coolest bits to make up for that
and none of these are wrong.
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I finally watched The Old Guard and tumblr did not adequately prepare me for how funny the van kiss scene actually is. Like I've seen whole gif sets of Joe's impromptu love poem but that's not the half of it.
Dude are you sure you want to be making a homophobic jab at these people specifically
Joe: "Yeah he is and what about it, bitch boy" <- said with far more grace and eloquence
Nicky: "<3"
(This is where we give kudos to the actors for not smashing each other's teeth in when LAUNCHING at each other. Couldn't have been me)
Everyone is so taken aback they fully just watch for a whole second in, presumably, homophobic horror before all simultaneously deciding This Cannot Stand
you INTERRUPT joe and nicky? you interrupt their kiss like the football game? oh! oh! death for homophobes! death for homophobes for One Thousand Years!!!!
This isn't really part of the scene but "There's a TV, Joe!" is close enough that I'm going to add it. As an epilogue.
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